#queer spec fic

[missmagooglie]

Prefacing this by saying this is not what I EXPECT to happen in 7x09 and 7x10, it's just one specific scenario that I feel particularly feral about right now... so with that said, I'm gonna throw out a dream scenario for the end of S7:

Tommy and Buck are dating and it's going well. Buck is just sort of blossoming in his new identity as a queer man. There's a self-confidence and assuredness to him that we haven't seen before

Meanwhile, Eddie has broken things off with Marisol and is quietly going through his own reevaluation of his sexuality. His awareness of his queerness happens pretty simultaneously with his realization that the way he loves Buck isn't entirely platonic, but he keeps it to himself because Buck is happy with Tommy

Episode 9 finds Eddie and Buck together off duty. Maybe they're having an argument. Maybe on the surface they're arguing about something small but somehow it feels much bigger

Mid-argument some emergency strikes. Buck and Eddie are trapped together and it's BAD. They're both in mortal peril, but it's worse for Eddie. Eddie hopes help will arrive in time to save Buck, but he's pretty sure he won't be alive to see it

(And I just want to stress - I feel like it's essential that they are off duty when this happens. They are in sync on the job, it's how they fit together outside of the job they're still figuring out)

So Eddie gets Buck's attention - because Buck hasn't given up yet. He won't. He CAN'T. He's frantically searching for solutions as Eddie repeats his name in a weakened voice, until finally he cracks and says, "Evan, please. I need you to hear this."

And in the final seconds of episode nine, Eddie Diaz looks Evan Buckley dead in the eye and tells him, "I love you"

Episode ten opens on an unrelated disaster, just to keep us gnashing our teeth a little longer

Maybe we throw some flashbacks in there for good measure

Check in on the rest of the firefam frantically trying to coordinate a rescue effort

But FINALLY they cut back to Buck and Eddie in mortal danger and replay the last few moments of episode 9. And believing these are the last words he'll ever say, Eddie tells Buck how much he loves him. He says he's sorry he realized it too late, but he could never, never regret loving him

Somehow there's a callback reference to Mitchell and Thomas, and the way Buck looked at their clasped hands as they died, and Buck realizing that dying together was never the point of their story. Living together was

And Buck is full sobbing and begging him not to give up yet because Christopher needs him and the team needs him and finally saying "and I need you, Eddie. You can't leave me. You can't-"

We get the sense that Buck is on the cusp of a love confession of his own, but before he gets the words out he's cut off by the sound of helicopter blades overhead.

Their miracle rescue arrives in time, led by none other than Buck's starting-to-be-something-serious boyfriend Tommy

After the rescue, we see Eddie in the back of the ambulance, stable and out of danger, and Buck's about to go over to him but Tommy comes running over and sweeps Buck up in his arms and kisses his temple and says, "thank god you're ok. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you"

And Buck lets himself be held, but his attention is over Tommy's shoulder looking at Eddie

Eddie, who's gonna be ok

Eddie, who loves him

Eddie, who is the absolute center of Buck's world, but Buck has never allowed himself to think of That Way

And Eddie meets Buck's eye over Tommy's shoulder and gives him a sad smile that lets Buck know he intends to go back to quietly loving Buck at just a little bit of a distance so that Buck can be happy with someone else

And just to really twist the knife, we get an overheard piece of dialogue in which Eddie refers to Buck as his "best friend" for the literal first time ever (I'm pretty sure? Up til now, any time the "best friend" label has been used it's been by Buck, but please correct me if I'm wrong.)

And the season ends there

Cue the entire fandom going APESHIT for the entirety of the summer hiatus

#911 #911 speculation #evan buck buckley #eddie diaz #how do i fanfiction? #911 spec fic #tommy kinard #bi buck #queer buck #queer eddie diaz #tommybuck #tuck #kinkley #tevan #<- I'll tag it but I hate it #(the ship name not the ship) #eddie x buck

[brazenskald]

In my first year of university, I was going through a very tumultuous time. There was all the many new things that come from leaving home, some good, some bad. There were the difficulties of a demanding if rewarding job, and I first became acquainted with the not-so-fondly-remembered and not yet fully un-internalized “student lifestyle.” Terrible food, awful sleep schedule, and this omnipresent sense of impending doom that was, at least in my case in Fall 2019, surprisingly prescient. Throughout all of this, I was not prepared to be struck by the warmth and depth and resonant Truth that cut through the noise and spoke to me with a certain book I picked up, by happenstance, because of its pretty cover. That book was A Conspiracy of Truths by @ariaste. You may have heard of them. https://www.alexandrarowland.net/a-conspiracy-of-truths

Now, needless to say I devoured aCoT, and subsequently its excellent sequel A Choir of Lies. I was sorrowfully disappointed to find out after finishing the absolute rollercoaster of Choir that there was in fact, no further reading yet to do. And so, profoundly affected as I was by this (for now) duology, which I will doubtless craft a dedicated and appropriately lengthy treatise at some point in the future, I set the books in a prime place upon my shelf and turned to face the rest of the year buoyed in my hopes for the brightness of Spring and the long lusty laughter of Summer. Alas, they were all of them deceived for another global epidemic was to begin. One (or two) life-altering years in a pandemic later… I returned to university, fully prepared to enjoy the hell out of an actual honest-to-gods academic institution that didn’t begin and end with a computer screen. It hit like a truck. Same awful student lifestyle, more bad habits piling up, and a rapidly growing sense of my own undiagnosed issue rearing its ugly head. I made one decision that saved me, probably. I kept buying and reading phenomenal books. I kept looking for stories to motivate, enervate, and inspire. Somewhere deep in my subconscious, I remembered that fateful message spoken by a Chant on a page three years past. To loosely paraphrase, “Stories [are] people, and the way people are.” I chose to focus on resilience, made it my motto, and sure I still had lots of work to do, but it helped. It gave me the push I needed to keep going.

That last long Winter that seemed so dark that the sun was never going to come back? I went a-wandering, and lo, a new instalment from @ariaste ‘s Mithalgeard universe! Not a Chant sequel as such, but I couldn’t get my hands on it fast enough. It was an oasis. A respite from the grind and dreary routines. It was also gay as… well as gay as a rainbow covered in gold, let’s say. And I cannot recommend A Taste of Gold and Iron fiercely enough, because although in many ways I managed to end my degree on a high note, that book drew me out of the darkness of the coldest part of the year. It gave me the sense to smell the flowers, to bask in the green and golden glow of a soon-to-be-attained victory, long overdue.

Alex had by this point also published several shorter works, (and a whole library’s worth of content on AO3, naturally) which I leapt to read whenever they crossed my radar. It helped that I joined their discord community which was leaps and bounds more reliable in terms of getting updates and also just having the chance to share in mutual fandom gushing. If you’re even remotely interested in learning more about what I’ve talked about here, you should join in! https://discord.gg/XHJ9Uy5gef Everybody there is absolutely lovely. So why do I bring all this up? To summarize a preamble that is, to put it mildly, not short, Alex’s writing sings to my soul. I love it more deeply than my non-existent children, and their body of work continues to evolve and grow and deliver on the themes and core messages that hooked me with that first book.

But wait, there’s more! Life carries on, and with it comes new stories! Specifically, Running Close to the Wind! It’s Our Flag Means Death meets Mithalgeard, which if I haven’t convinced you to go and read those other instalments, well just trust me when I say that is a potent and persuasive pairing! It’s also going to be dropping at an important time for me, what with convocation, another big move in my life, and a whole whack of uncertainty. Much like Avra, Teveri, and Julian though, I’ll just have to brave the rocky waters and hold on to those nearest to me, and that’s what I’d like to focus on at the end of this post. A Conspiracy of Truth taught me that stories are people, A Choir of Lies showed how stories can change people, and A Taste of Gold and Iron drove home that stories we tell ourselves are the hardest to rewrite, but also the most rewarding when we take ownership of them. I anticipate that with Running Close to the Wind, Alex will likely show us (with ample amounts of pomp and queer circumstances) how the story of ourselves can only ever be written by interweaving the tales of those closest to us. Perhaps, we’ll even discover how to navigate the often stormy seas of uncertainty that seem omnipresent these days, whenever we deign to pull our noses out from whichever books we’re currently nestled within. I know that’s certainly something I’ll be looking out for, come this June, and now hopefully you will be too! (This last link does go to the webpage for Running Close to the Wind, Tumblr’s just being weird I guess.)

#fantasy #queer #lgbt #writing #booklr #books #A Conspiracy of truths #a choir of lies #a taste of gold and iron #running close to the wind #pirates #resilience #tor books #stories #new books #books that got me through the pandemic #ofmd #hopepunk #books as therapy #spec fic

[hamptersadness]

Found this fic on A03 and it's about queer platonic Crowley and aziraphle and I absolutely love it.

As an aroace that is slightly sex positive this is a very cute story. (Yes there is smut in this fic although id hardly call it smut. They have sex)

It also makes me feel better that I'm human and it's okay for me not to be attracted sexually to people or things.

Also this author has like 760 fics of GO and they are absolutely great so go check them out!

#good omens #good omens fandom #fanfic #i love this fic #ace spec #sex positive #queer platonic relationship #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowely #qpr positivity #sex positve asexual

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: THE DEATH I GAVE HIM by Em X. Liu.

Up next! Hamlet retelling but make it science + a locked-lab mystery (which is, of course, directly up my alley!). Horatio is the lab's resident AI, and I'm so excited to see how this goes.

#books #books of 2024 #the death i gave him #em x. liu #book photography #my photography #and yeah catch me transitioning out of THE WAY SPRING ARRIVES with this one lmao #one queer chinese spec fic book to another babeeey #i'm about to speedrun a hamlet kick and i'm having a good time #ALSO #i need the world to know how BLAZINGLY BRIGHT this book is!!! #holy shit it is SO green (my photo doesn't do the green justice sorry) #and the accents are SO HOT PINK #and then!! the back cover!! IS ALSO SO HOT PINK #THE END PAGES ARE EVEN BRIGHTER HOT PINK!!!! #i'm delighted by the colorful experience of this book XD #lowkey bummed that the boards are just black with silver text honestly #AND i have. reservations. about how sturdy the whole thing is (it doesn't feel especially well-put together) #but gotdamn if it isn't COLORFUL #also the blurbers on the back are a powerhouse as a collective #shelley parker-chan and cassandra khaw and grace d li #freya marske and sam j miller #(i don't actually know ren hutchings and cse cooney on sight but i feel like i should....) #anyway!! stoked!! love books made for meeee

[calvincell]

I’m coming to the realization that The Matrix as a franchise & fictional playground is to me what Star Wars is to so many other people. I like Star Wars but the world & themes in The Matrix speak to me so much more deeply. And this is despite only truly unreservedly loving The Matrix (1999) & The Animatrix.

Star Wars fans are treated with so many incredible franchise projects like Visions & The Mandalorian, the varied & more often than not terrific games (SWTOR, Squadrons, Jedi Survivor etc.) & the deluge of original novels, short story collections, TTRPGs & comics is the tier of cultural status & ubiquity The Matrix franchise deserves as well. It’s such a rich source of fiction potential that doesn’t get earnestly capitalized on outside of the efforts of the Wachowski Sisters & not since the early ‘00s sadly.

#the matrix #matrix #scifi #speculative fiction #spec fic #Neo #the animatrix #star wars #wachowski sisters #wachowski family #lana wachowski #lilly wachowski #wachowski siblings #queer fiction #the matrix franchise #animatrix #matrix code #cyberpunk

[strikeslip]

I just want to love one thing enough to dedicate myself to it. I want to love one thing enough that I want to find other people to talk to about it. I want to feel driven to talk about it-- I want to feel driven to talk at all.

I remember a friend describing the irritation of meeting someone who was too much like her, all the habits that she couldn't stand seeing mirrored and so on. And then she turned to me and said, "You know that feeling?" and I said: "No." I've never met anyone who felt 'like me.' And that's not strange -- people like me don't meet a lot of people. The statistics are against us, me and that theoretical doppelganger both.

I guess what I really want is to be the kind of person who could love something enough to challenge the statistics. To be a different kind of person. But phrased that way, it doesn't sound quite so good, does it? I am what I am.

#when I was a kid I purposefully went through hobby after hobby looking for the one that worked for me #I found art and spec-fic and gaming: relatively common hobbies. It's not like I'm alone in life. #but even in the queer and nerdy circles I've constructed I am still the alien #and it just doesn't feel worth talking if it's just this mechanical thing I do and nobody talks back

[nightjarring]

I don't think I have a big enough sample size to say anything definitively, so this is just a hypothesis. I don't know if it's just what I've found so far but are the more interesting contemporary takes on LGBT speculative fiction largely from places outside of the anglosphere. I have not read enough to draw any fleshed out conclusions but the best fantasy books I've read with LGBT characters and themes have been by an author from Jamaica and one from India, and I found another that looks really really interesting by a Mexican author, while the contemporary queer fiction I've read from English speaking countries has been kind of soft and uninteresting.

The sample size is very small so far because I'm picky, and queer spec fiction that looks worth anything is hard to come by, but I'm curious if this observation is just a coincidence or represents a trend?

I have a possible hypothesis for why this is but it revolves around the twitterification(???) of English LGBT discourse, but this is making assumptions that I don't know are founded at all? It's not like the books I've read from other countries haven't been in English.

#blurb #genuinely curious #most of the english lgbt spec fic tends to have a sort of... fluffy tone? or its just in there on the side and otherwise inconsequential #and i suppose the idea is that its about normalization but something about it leaves me quite cold compared to stories that are more idk #agressively vehemently ABOUT being queer? i dunno

[arijensineink]

220110 Common Ink Newsletter

Warm greetings writerly folk, and happy 2023 to all of you!

While I hope you started the year off with a creative bang, I know the beginning of January can be a time of burnout, feeling drained, and the desperate need to become a hermit crab.

Sometimes doing things we love can feel tough, even writing.

Rest assured, struggling authors, I have you in mind. To help you keep pushing your story forward, I launched this 10-part blog series that is all about reframing and recalibrating your writing practice so that it’s always feeding you, and vice versa!

Here’s the first one!

Why Writing Your Story Feels So Impossible & Ideas On How To Make Writing Easy Fun, & Productive Again

We write because it’s what we love to do and we need to tell the stories in our hearts.

Don’t let anything stop you!

There is so much more to come. Tomorrow, I’ll be sharing an article that will help you keep writing even when life gets really, really hard.

After that I’ll cover a few other things, like

How to prioritize writing in your life

Battling lack of inspiration (with fresh tips, I promise)

Post NaNoWriMo productivity discussion and!

The significance of space and ritual in your writing practice

Sort of like The Wolfene is my heart-story, I feel like these are my heart-articles. 

I’m beyond excited to share these with you, so keep your eye out and please share with your friends! 

For more inspiration, follow me on Tumblr, LinkedIn, and Medium or click the links below to read the Fighting For Writing Blog and hang out on the Common Ink landing page!

Much love, Borahae, 好き, be well!

-Ari

~

If you liked this, you can sign up to Common Ink for 2x monthly writing encouragement, advice, and creative support!

I would appreciate it so much as I'm just starting out with this newsletter and trying to get the word out. 😇🥰😘💞💫✨

Common Ink Landing Page

Fighting For Writing Blog

#writers life #writers of tumblr #writers corner #writing community #queer writers #women writers #fantasy writing #fantasy writer #fantasy fiction #speculative fiction #spec fic #sff writers #writing tips #writing advice #writing blog #writers block #writer problems #writing help #creative writing

[jellyfishlines2000]

I made a marginalized spec fic writers discord server. If anyone who writes spec fic and is a woman, BIPOC, disabled, queer, trans, or any combo of these identities or more, please don’t hesitate to message me here. I’ll give you the link.

#spec fic #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writers #queer writers #speculative fiction #scifi #horror #fantasy #sff

[aro-who-reads]

Anthologies including aro stories

(that I have read recently)

I know most people probably aren't going to read an anthology because it has one aro story in it (well, I would. And have done so!) But here's a little list in case any of these interest anyone generally, or people have access to them and would like to check out the aro stories.

1. Everything Under the Moon (Ed. Michael Earp). Aro story is Seeing Colour by Jes Layton.

I've already talked about this one, I think it's my favourite on the list (the story itself and the anthology as a whole). The anthology is full of queer fairytale retellings, and Seeing Colour is about a young aro person getting to know an older single person.

2. An Unexpected Party (Ed. Seth Malacari). Aro story is The Graveyard Shift by Jes Layton.

I also enjoyed this one, it's an Australian queer YA spec fic anthology with a deliberate focus on less common queer rep (lots of trans, nonbinary rep) and emerging writers. Being aro isn't really a focus of the story but it does use the phrase "alloromantic bullshit". There was another story with an ace character who might have been meant to be aro as well?

3. This is Our Rainbow (Ed. Katherine Locke and Nicole Melleby). Aro story is Girl's Best Friend by Lisa Jenn Bigelow.

A queer middle grade anthology. While not explicitly an aroace story, it does explicitly talk about having a squish on someone, who the MC attempts to befriend by turning into a dog. (I also believe the author is aroace?)

4. Out There: Into the Queer New Yonder (Ed. Saundra Mitchell). Aro story is The Undeniable Price of Everything by Z Brewer.

YA queer futuristic anthology. Unfortunately I found the aro story in this one of the weaker stories in the anthology, as it was a bit confusing. I also just didn't like the anthology as much as a whole either, but that might just be because it was more romance focused and I wasn't as interested.

#aro #aromantic #aro books #It's still sort of aro week right... #I'm partway through a couple of actual novels I thought I might write about but I got distracted reading other stuff #Tbh I found all three of the all out/out now/put there anthologies disappointing #Especially in regard to representing a broad range of queer identities

[aro-sora]

Aro Writing Collection

Happy Aromantic Spectrum Visibility Day, I wanted to share some resources to find aromantic books/poetry/writing of any kind

A Carnival of Aros

Aro Worlds fiction

AZE Journal

The Aro Zine

Arospec Poetry Network (and their zine collection)

Aro & Ace books database

Queer Books database

Queer Fiction Book database

Aromantic stories recommended by Claudie Arseneault

AUREA's resources page

Aromantic books and no romance books on @aroaessidhe

Aromantic books on @aro-who-reads

Aro friendly media, Aggressively Arospectacular, and Aggressively Arospec Week on @aggressivelyarospec

@arospecfanworksweek for aro fanworks

Also I'm adding Commons Bonds as a book rec. It's a spec fic anthology of aromantic/platonic-focused works (you can find it in the aro books lists/databases linked above too)

If anyone has other things to add let me know!

(and thanks to @haveievermentioned for some of the recs)

#aro #aromantic #arospec #actually aromantic #aro writing #aro books #resource #aromantic spectrum #aromantic spectrum visibility day #to read

[assiraphales]

Ace fan here: I love ace luffy but also, it's really not that hard to like allo luffy as long as his perception of sexual attraction is done right. It could be implied he's sexually queer/part of the a-spec (demi, grey, fluid, etc) or he's just too hyperfocus in being the king of the pirate to think abt anything else which I both love and respect.

Heck, I would even humor hypersexual luffy who couldn't differentiate sexual attraction with genuine impulse or need to bone at first. If you love luffy, you'll appreciate his differences including in the way he thinks and identifies so I'd rather read a fic with him being written allo by someone who actually loves his nuances than him being ace as tokenism.

mood !

#monkey d luffy #one piece #i'm a fan of so many interpretations tbh

[zephyra-in-the-house]

Helloo! I wanted to say that I loved second chances sm, when I found a random chapter last year I read the entire fic in a couple days bc I had to know what happened next, then reread it every now and then while waiting for the updates

I like how we can see both sides of the coin with shadowpeach, how they both care but are still struggling for different yet similar reasons, their struggle with what they went through, dealing with each other's personality traits and habits(their own too) that are still hard to let go of, the glimpses of the consequences of the punishments and their backstory in general

And maybe it's a me thing, but I feel like your Wukong acts like he's a bit aro spec, maybe demi aromantic, and I love that he does, especially while still explicitly loving(and like longing for?) Mac sm

I got that feeling after rereading one of the conversations shadowpeach had in the kitchen when Wukong said something about just wanting to be near Mac, and having him as his best friend was so great kinda like there couldn't possibly be anything better

I know it's probably to show how he grew up, or his personality, and that he's dense (specifically when it comes to reading Mac's feelings towards him) but I feel that just adds to the similarities with the aro experience bc there's a side of the aro community that is blind to more romantic stuff, and romantic-coded gestures or more intimate closeness is just closeness all the same

And your Wukong gives me the impression that he just wanted Mac to be close to him, didn't matter what kind of close, and that he holds the title of "best friend" as a really special thing. Be it BECAUSE of Mac, or maybe since before becoming friends with him, like not just anybody would be his best friend (Also it was maybe to show his trust issues, but still)

I think Wukong said somewhere that he just wanted Mac to be happy to be around him, as happy as SWK was to be around Mac. And I know his inability to put his feelings(love) into words more than referring to a strong or special friendship is probably to show that he's not good with Feelings™, but I like to think that maybe he is enamored in the way a queer platonic love would feel like, so calling it a strong or special friendship kinda does cut it to some degree I think

Also the way Mei (everyone really, but she's more expressive about it, and we see her more than other characters) sees Wukong as a hopeless case, but I think Wukong would see Mac loving him strongly in any way as the best thing ever, as long as it's strong love, he wouldn't mind, love is love, like he just wants to be as special to Mac as Mac is to him

Also I'd love to see them be together even if they don't have the same kind of love for each other, bc the love they have for each other would still be just as strong, and would let them have just as strong of a bond, (in the future, as things are going I have hope, I do hope they end up together in this universe, even if nothing of what I'm saying fits them by the end)

I mean no disrespect to your original idea, or if that's not what u intended, I tried looking through your blog and I haven't found any mention of something similar or headcanons about it

But yeah, idk if u mind ppl putting headcanons on your stories? Some ppl do mind, so idk I just wanted to say that regardless of that hc of mine, I think how you write them is so cool and interesting, and I find that about Wukong really cool even if it's not really where the story is heading and it's been really fun to reread

Also sorry for the weird english, it's not my first language ^^'

First things first:

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

I absolutely love in depth analysis like this it's so interesting to read and to hear what people think of my story. I 100% love writing this story specifically because it demonstrates how these two are completely different and yet eerily similar people who are just struggling to reconnect with other people despite them both having their flaws and traumatic experiences. It's really fun to write and explore and I absolutely love everything that you said here about it~

Duuude!! I fuckin looooveeee that headcanon! Holy shit that's so awesome! Honestly, I didn't even realize I was writing Wukong that way but now that it's been pointed out I can totally see it!

As someone who is kind of on the ace spectrum, I think I may have just subconsciously made it that way. Just like every other author I know, I have a habit of adding my own traumas/ideologies to my stories so I really shouldn't be too surprised LOL

But don't worry! I don't mind people making headcanons about my story~ In fact, that's my favorite part of writing is seeing how people interpret the story and seeing how they formulate it into drawings or headcanons like this! It's so cool!

Initially, my intention was to write Wukong as being oblivious/in denial about his own feelings and in general just bad with feelings. However, I really love your idea too! It's definitely one of those things where Wukong is just happy to be around Macaque. Macaque is "his person", the one he feels happy and comfortable around, the one he feels he can be open and honest around... and yeah I just realized how much that sounds like the beginnings of a queer platonic relationship LMAO

In any case!

I absolutely love your analysis and I 100% agree that Wukong would be okay with Macaque loving him in any way, shape, or form so long as Macaque feels as safe and comfortable and happy as Wukong himself feels when they're together. ❤❤

Thank you for reading!

#lego monkie kid #second chances #shadowpeach #lego macaque #lego sun wukong #fanfic #lmk macaque #lmk sun wukong #They're so in love #They make me sick #“They're holding hands... I want them dead” /ref

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2023. HAPPY STORIES, MOSTLY by Norman Erikson Pasaribu (translated by Tiffany Tsao).

So one of my go-to indie bookstores in Columbus told me about the new Cercador Prize, which is for lit fic in translation, and that's just. Supremely up my alley. This one is a finalist this year! It and A SHINING by Jon Fosse most grabbed my attention when I went to peruse, so I snagged both of them and am excited to read.

#books #books of 2023 #happy stories mostly #norman erikson pasaribu #tiffany tsao #this one is queer :) #queer and indonesian #author's pronouns are they/them on the english jacket copy!! #i feel bad cuz i typed them as 'normal' every damn time in this post lmao clearly you see what types of words my fingers are used to #(it's a holdover from abnormal and abnormalities don't @ me liz) #anyway i'm here for weird fuzzy spec fic #don't love that the cover is matte (those of us with clammy hands are Not Good For This) but!! excited to read it!! #ESPECIALLY AFTER A HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE FUCKEN HELL #this one is small :) and promises to be Weird :)

[lover-of-mine]

omggggg YES whether you look at eddie through a demi!gaze or just a queer!gaze, the difference between he and buck is sort of obvious? (to me)

it makes sense for them to say that bi!buck has been scattered throughout the show, we’ve seen and heard hints directed at/about several other male characters. so it’s logical it’s not entirely about eddie for him and therefore his bi!arc starts with someone else

eddie on the other hand hasn’t really had ‘moments’ with other male characters? a lot of his queer!spec comes from his history and the way he is with dating, but his main interactions with other male characters are the softer more domestic scenes with he and buck. 704 proved that eddie’s friendship with other men is completely different to how he is with buck. so in my head it’s logical that for him, it is about buck, and that’s where his queer!arc starts

Yeah, here's the thing, like Oliver pointed out, there are a lot of moments of Buck having flirty moments with men who are not Eddie in the show, even if it wasn't on purpose in the beginning, like, something Oliver was consciously told to portrait, Buck does have a bisexual energy to him from the get-go, and I think it is nice for him to be able to explore that outside the person we all know is the love of his life, yk? He needs to accept that he likes men before he accepts he loves Eddie. It's kinda like the way a lot of feeling realization fics from Buck's pov have Buck fine with the idea of wanting a family with Eddie but panicking when he realizes he wants to have sex with him, he needs to accept that, especially with the way he has a bad relationship with sex overall.

But, Eddie on the other hand, he doesn't have moments with men, he has moments with Buck, I think maybe if you push a little bit, you can say he was flirting with Judd in the crossover, but like, it's been Buck since the ridiculous sexual tension in the gym during under pressure. And, like, until the show tells me I'm wrong I will exist in my "Eddie is settled into his feelings because he thinks Buck can't feel the same" because you can absolutely make an argument for Eddie to be in the "it's not his fault he can't feel the same way about me" stage of falling with your "straight" best friend, I say straight because Eddie still doesn't know, I did write a whole thing on how you can recontextualize the show to make it seem like Eddie has been semi-aware of his feelings since the lawsuit, and I know they are probably not gonna go the route that he's been aware of his feelings (rip shooting as Eddie's oh moment you will always be true to me), but the groundwork for him to be like oh! about Buck at any point is there. And Eddie is a lot more aware of his own feelings than Buck, he wouldn't need someone to kiss him to have the realization, he can have the realization in a less on-the-nose moment. And the thing with the way they have been playing Eddie and his love interests, especially with the added context on Shannon we got last season, that they were friends first and all that, you can make a really strong argument for him to be demisexual and that's why he struggles with the idea of dating, that he feels like that's a performance, and why he has weird chemistry with the woman he pushed himself into dating since Shannon died, and that can absolutely push him towards Buck. Because here's the thing, with Buck dating men, and Eddie's relationship in crisis, he could very well look at Buck and be like "oh, I wasn't aware he was an option" because of the whole struggle with attraction and the way he has such a strong relationship with Buck, and maybe wonder about what it all means, and they can tumble into the realization that maybe they could be more together. That none of them has been secretly pining, but they have such a strong thing going that there's no reason for them not to go there. It could be this natural thing. And it's right there, even more with the comment of Eddie trying to understand his place in the world. Because for Eddie is not about Buck being a man, is about Buck being his best friend, and I think Eddie as a person would need to come to terms with that and he wouldn't get that hung up on the fact that Buck's a man. So Buck can absolutely be his queer awakening. But if Buck had the realization he has feelings for Eddie, he would get hung up on the fact that he is a man if he didn't explore his bisexuality before that.

I kinda think the route we are going here is Buck processing he likes man, Eddie processing he likes Buck, Buck being like "wait men are an option, Eddie is a man, I already have most of the things I'm looking for with Eddie, maybe we can go there" and then maybe some mutual pining before they do go there.

#i just want buck to blue screen the next time he sees eddie shirtless and be like oh fuck he's hot #oasksoaksasokasa #but i kinda think theyll get together in an explosive way if that's where this is going #like i dont know but my both of them are gonna be in danger by the end of the season spec might include Buck straight up kissing Eddie #i mean #i dont realistically think it would happen but i can see the argument for it #i dont know #but yeah #Eddie cant be Buck's bi awakening but Buck can be Eddie's #this got long and rambly sorry #911 #911 spoilers #911 speculation #911 meta #???? #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌

[lgbtqreads]

Do you have any queer dystopian book recs? I would love something more literary, and if it's less well known, even better!

There’s a longer list under Dystopian here: https://lgbtqreads.com/sff/spec-fic-by-subgenre/ but for a couple of quick recs, check out Firebreak by Nicole Kornher-Stace and Blackfish City by Sam J. Miller.