Shout out to systems who cant get diagnosed. Shout out to systems who split easily. Shout out to systems with high introject counts. Shout out to complex systems. Shout out to systems with mostly littles. Shout out to systems with small alter counts. Shout out to systems who dont want to get diagnosed cause they dont want it on their record. Shout out to systems with nonhuman alters. Shout out to systems
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WHAT IS POLYFRAGMENTATION
a common misconception i see in the community is that polyfragmentation refers to having a high alter count, and id like to talk about what it actually means
polyfragmentation is characterized by a complex system structure, complex splitting patterns, a large number of fragments, a lack of non-dissociative coping mechanisms, and often trauma that began at an early age and impacted all areas of life
COMPLEX SYSTEM STRUCTURE - often involving layers, subsystems, or other divisions within the system that keep alters separate in groups
COMPLEX SPLITTING PATTERNS - this involves splitting in groups, splitting multiple alters to hold different parts of the same trauma, etc
LARGE FRAGMENT COUNT - polyfragmented systems will have a high fragment count, fragments are alters who lack a full sense of identity
LACK OF NON-DISSOCIATIVE COPING MECHANISMS - where splitting would typically be a last resort for most systems, polyfragmented systems can be pushed to the point of splitting much easier, even from daily life stressors
EARLY LIFE TRAUMA - according to richard p kluft, polyfragmented DID is often caused by longstanding severe abuse beginning early in life
- grey
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if you've ever purposefully tried to deny your system/"turn it off" and it still keeps happening, your system can't be fake.
you can't subconsciously fake something while fighting against it.
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please be normal abt endogenic systems and polyfrag systems and fictive heavy systems and systems w/o fictives and non-disordered systems etc etc etc. I’m tired
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when you consume an entire piece of media (a series, movie, book, game etc.) without splitting an introject from it
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“Does it hurt when you-“ It hurts when I wake up in the morning and when I walk and when I sit and when I lie down and when I go to bed and when I eat and when I drink and when I breathe and when I blink and
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constant sys mood is “i know, but i don’t know why”
- i know my (legal) name but not why im called that
- i know where i live but not why i live here
- i know these are my cats but i dont know why/how i have them/got them
- i know that’s my family, but idk why or how
please tell me this is relatable
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the systems journey of discovery has certainly been interesting
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trying to do spotify wrapped as a system with many people with really different tastes is so crazy to me
what do ylu mean my first top song is "suburbia overture" by will wood but my third is evidently "i think i'm going to kill myself" by elton john n my fifth is "you're so creepy" by ghost town ?!?! - alex
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how the 10+ new parts look back at me after discovering their entire subsystem in the dark corners of my brain:
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i wanna go home i say, as i am sitting in my bedroom
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Trying Something New
So, I feel like the online plural community has "gotten to me" in a sense. I always felt the need to share a lot of information about my system. I always felt like I needed to share who was fronting, their names, pronouns, roles, etc. And this honestly really stressed me out, because I've had terrible experiences in the past with being open about it, and I feel ashamed of my alters and ashamed of my system.
So I'm not going to do that anymore.
I'm not going to track who is fronting, I'm not gonna worry about who is who and why they are the way they are. I'm not gonna worry so much about letting people know who's out all the time. I'm just not gonna worry about it and let myself be me.
I don't WANT to be a system. I'd rather just be a person with parts. That is what feels most comfortable for me. I want to be able to be me without worrying what part of me is out all the time, and putting a name and label on them. Sure, some of them do have names, and that's ok. But for now I just want to be me, a person with a lot of parts.
I feel like this view of systems is kinda... almost degraded in the system community. People want to believe that alters are entirely separate people, and want to uphold that. They lean into the dissociation and separation. If that works for you, it works. But for me, it causes a lot more stress.
I'm not a system, I'm just a person with parts.
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[Text: This system is currently questioning if they’re polyfragmented, please be patient with them.]
[Text: This system is currently questioning if they’re complex, please be patient with them.]
Like/Reblog if you save or use please ^^
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polyfrag culture is being like "i genuinely dont understand how my life was so bad i developed polyfrag DID" and your friend who youve told practically all the trauma youre currently aware of looks at you in horror
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If you were faking, you wouldn't keep finding more stuff to be upset about!
If it was all fake, you wouldn't lie in a pool of your own tears, unable to stop derealizing/depersonalizing because of flashbacks.
If it was all fake it wouldn't hurt like this.
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Here's to very large systems!
Occasionally, some systems might end up being way bigger than most others-- which is perfectly valid and lovely! Whether you have C-DID/polyfragmentation, or you just have a super high member count, this one's for you!
Shoutout to:
Polyfragmented/(H)C-DID systems with lots of fragments
People who prefer other labels, such as polyplural/polymultiple
Gateway systems with huge swathes of walk-ins coming in and out frequently
Those who have such a high member count, they've lost track/don't care about the specifics anymore
Multiples with dozens, hundreds, thousands, or even an infinite number of headmates
Those who have many different layers, subsystems, sidesystems, etc.
Systems who wish they were smaller, or get stressed by the number of splits they have
And anyone else I missed!
We love you so, so much! Being a large system might be difficult to handle sometimes, but it's a beautiful experience if you learn to appreciate the small things! Truth be told, there are even moments we wish we were smaller too! But, the good thing is, we always have each other, no matter what! The same goes to you -- and you have us, as well! Always!
You're so unique!
🖤💜💙💚💛
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