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#plus imagine them like that bro
honeyedlashton · 2 years
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Currently dreaming about Ashton taking Luke on a little date to a seafood cafe on the water in the middle of spring. They’re both dressed in soft cream-colored hoodies to protect from the cool ocean wind. Here, Ashton takes pictures of a smiley Luke as he digs into his seafood. It’s mostly sunny but slightly chilly in the breeze and shade. Everything in the picture is a hazy white and blue like Luke’s smiling eyes. They hold hands on the drive home. On the radio is a song that carries over the wind flooding the car with the windows down to the point the reach of the song feels infinite. Everything turns gold as the sun descends on the horizon, including Luke. I just think that would be a real crisp memory to make. 🐚💙☀️🤍🌊
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hmm... in a "Charlie gets wings" scenario, which sparks more joy...
the idea of Charlie very awkwardly unfolding a pair of gold angel wings that almost perfectly match Adam's (the ones her mom would have had if Lilith hadn't gone all demon) except they have only one stripe (like Vaggie's) and Vaggie is gleefully assuring her gf that she wears them SO MUCH BETTER than Adam ever did
OR, Charlie deliberately giving herself a pair of dragon-like wings, to match with Razzle (and the fallen Dazzle), setting herself completely apart from angelic dad bc she's hellborn and proud of it
XD charlie getting the gold ones and being all "nooo.... nnnoooooooo i don't want those... icky, icky associations... let's just trade them out ok???"
and THEN making herself the demon wings like aaahhhh yessss MUCH better o^w^o
(vaggie waking up next morning to find Charlie not in bed but something overhead SNORES, and it's her girlfriend, her gf has become a sleepy demon-winged cocoon snuggle blob, hanging upside down from their bed canopy by her demon tail, crashing on top of vaggie with a yelp the moment vaggie tries tentatively poking her gf awake with one of her own feathery wings) (it Tickled)
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caterpillarinacave · 2 years
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Some of you weren’t obsessed with Tybalt Capulet and, boy, does it show.
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yeonban · 3 days
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It's lovely when I read a book and some random paragraph in it hits me in the face like a train at mach speed
#◜✧ . ❪ muse. tobias. ❫#ask to tag#Before this I was catching up with the Doctors are Out webtoon too and atm it's an arc where an abuser#got back to his victim bc he and the authorities dgaf about upholding his restraining order like bro I GET it. I get it. I KNOW#Tobias showing up like that one surprise 'heyyy' girl meme gif bc he's the solution (<- getting rid of them Permanently): >:)#No matter where I look this guy manages to weasel his way in. I cannot escape#Now I'm thinking about how Wammy's orphans have such different perspectives on what they should do and what justice means...#to some of them (ex Near) it means catching sb legally by mostly lawful means and yeeting them into prison#to others (ex Mello) it means catching sb by any means necessary but still trying his best to avoid murder#and then to others (ex Tobias) murdering these people who he knows will escape sooner or later anyway is justice in itself#You try to put Wammy orphans down at a table to come to a collective agreement on how they should operate and they simply Cannot#Watari mildly fucked up when he made them ALL headstrong and under the belief that they're always the right one in the room#I bet any of them comes up w a cohesive plan and there's sb in the room IMMEDIATELY pointing out why that plan isn't it 😭#Obviously they'd still synch with each other if need be (ex Mello & Near) but forbid they work TOGETHER together as more than ~2 people#Tobias and Near would be such a funny duo esp. bc Near sees people resorting to murder as wrong and disgusting no matter if it's valid#meanwhile Tobias sees lawful justice as nothing but a farce because 99% of the time it does nothing besides giving a momentary#ego boost to the person who caught the criminal. and then beyond that it's no longer their business if the criminal escapes or not#but it IS very much everyone else's business; and why many live in terror daily wondering if their nightmare will return tomorrow#to be fair Tobias couldn't care less about their feelings 99% of the time either but Watari DID teach him to enact justice. and to him#getting rid of the root of the problem rather than locking it up IS justice. He perceives the problems from much closer than#other Wammy orphans ever have. He's RIGHT THERE in the middle of it whereas they're in some safe place far away from the victims#plus their backgrounds are far too different from his own to reach a consensus too... you can't make him believe prison = justice#just as you can't make them believe murder = justice. But I do think people would prefer Tobias' approach far more than idk Near's#again it's not like Tobias cares about how he's perceived by the people he saves! (or if he's even perceived at all) but I can imagine#going to sleep knowing the person/people/group/etc having it out for you no longer exists is a much more heartening sentiment than#hearing they've been sent to prison; from where they can send sb else after you or from where they can escape in due time
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zemolvr · 10 months
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what is the overlap between delusional iasip fans (affectionate) and beastie boys fans.. Cause literally every single beastie boys song is charmacden coded and i need people to agree with me. also they each sing one of the boys’ parts too. mac is mca, charlie is mike d and dennis is adrock, if you care.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable#and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back#i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive#logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt#and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her#fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating#bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a#state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid#recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet#but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid#it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off#when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically#a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick#instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway#i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday#idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave#the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was#approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty#bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷‍♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated
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neon-danger · 1 year
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Can a vampire feed off someone without turning them? Like is there a way
In my world yes
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agayconcept · 2 months
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.
#booooo i have an early morning orthodontist appt and i h8 everything#its 2 cities over#Ugh#and ofc its in an area w atrociously bad public transit#the joys#i've already moved money in my bank acct for an emergency uber / taxi if it takes too long#h8 everything#h8 that i even have to go bc#a) this orthodontist is a POS and treats me (and most ppl) terribly#b) i shouldnt even have to go bc its HIS fault my teeth moved#(took off my permanent retainer when it broke and wouldnt replace it. told me the teeth wouldnt move. they did. when i called to say so#he told me i was imagining it and making things up out of anxiety. told him no but he wouldnt listen. cut to 3 months later#and i have gaps where i shouldnt and my dentist did xrays and was like Damn Dude. they've moved a lot. go back and demand he fix it.#so now i have to do fuckin invisalign to fix the gaps before getring another wire on & its gonna cost a LOT of money that i dont have. cool#and also c) they want me to make a decision Today but i told them i need a quote to then ask insurance / disability. they threw a fit#and r def gonna do so again when i show up#ughhsgshshhs#they're also gonna blame it on my vitamin deficiencies. which ya can contribute but does Not exolain the rapid shifting my guy#that was u screwing up and now u dont wanna own up to it#he legit refused an appt w me so im seeing his colleague. real mature bro. real fuckin mature#but there's no other ortho for me to go to around where i live plus there's the whole legal thing of like.#he screwed it up so i can fight for it to be his responsibility to fix if necessary#anyway#i am anxious rambling bc i DONT WANNA GO DO THIS#i h8 dentist shit enough as it is bc of autism / anxiety / ptsd#and this office is the same one that verbally abused me as a teenager for having anxiety and as an adult for being disabled#fml#wish me fuckin luck im gonna gd need it#into the trenches we go
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myunghology · 6 months
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twisted wonderland 2nd years, except they're helplessly in love.
pairings ; riddle, ruggie, azul, jade, floyd, kalim, jamil, silver x gn! reader. (seperate).
tw ; none.. unless it's a bit too cheesy..?
a/n ; my first twst work.. im terrified!!
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☆ — RiDDLE ROSEHEARTS
nope. will not allow it. he has his priority- which is his grades. he won't allow himself to be distracted by you. (more below the cut!)
but you are gorgeous tho, he'll admit that.
oh, would you look at that.. he's been distracted.
other students, even students outside heartslabyul are getting a bit weirded out, like what do you mean he's stopping in his tracks just to watch you pass by.
doesn't even notice it himself that he's staring at you. it's about time he notices that he'd stopped walking is when floyd smacked his head..
well, to be fair, he's noticed himself that he gets nervous whenever he invites you to unbirthday parties, he feels like everything has to be perfect.
—which is why some heartslabyul students are kinda annoyed when you come. only because they have to do so much with riddle pressuring them every 10 minutes. they like you generally though!
plus riddle seems more relaxed when you're around. that's just a bonus though! (is it really)
cater has multiple pictures of riddle just staring at you— his gaze softening whenever his eyes land on you instinctively.
he offers to hold open the door for you whenever you run into each other outside the classrooms, he offers to help you whenever you ever get injured playing some sport, and he even let's you borrow his notes if you were absent in class for a good reason.
sure, maybe he might be a bit arrogant, and a bit of a cry baby, and definitely strict— but he has respect for everyone. especially you.
riddle rosehearts is truly, a gentleman in a world full of boys.
☆ — RUGGiE BUCCHi
him? in love? absolutely.
if ruggie was in love, it'll probably be obvious. he tries to hide it though,, but it's clear he isn't good at that.
he's pretty chill around you though, nothing too awkward.
let me tell you this, whenever you ask him for a request, he'll want something back. no, he isn't gonna ask for a kiss or a date. stop imagining that.
he wants you to pay him back by a favor, so that he can pull the "you owe me a favor, since i did ___ for you." card.
okay maybe then he'll ask you on a date. or he'll ask you to steal something from a student.
what can i say.. it's 50/50.. slowly leaning onto the date idea though.
ruggie isn't oblivious, or stupid either. he knows when he's in love. he's just too afraid to admit it. sometimes leona makes fun of him for being a "wimp" and to just confess.
also stares at you, but in class this time. bro isn't listening at all actually because he's too busy looking at you.
maybe i will admit that ruggie is a little shit but he's actually a sweetheart when he wants to be. it's a win/win situation if you like annoying guys but has a soft spot for you.
spoiler: he eventually sucks it tf up and soon confesses.
☆ — AZUL ASHENGROTTO
azul may be a tad bit conscious about what you think about him. screw that- he's definitely conscious about what you think about him. from not only about what happened during his overblot and from his insecurities.
he knows you aren't that type of person, but he can't help it.
it makes him feel a million times better when you reassure him though. even if it's making him a bit delusional.. but then again you might be saying that just because you pity him.
"or maybe they're just nice and they actually care have you ever thought of that" - floyd
you go to monstro lounge about once a week, and for sure, azul has sent jade and floyd to take care of you well, since of couse, most of the time he's busy.
floyd almost exposed azul's crush on you once when you two were chatting, thankfully jade was there to cover his mouth before he continued speaking.
but when he is actually there face to face actually talking to you, he sounds smug but in reality, he's a nervous wreck in the inside. you obviously know that though.
wait till you tell him that you find him cute..
he explodes
no i'm joking, he's just blushing really hard. like.. too much. again- it's kinda obvious that he likes you whenever you compliment him.
☆ — JADE LEECH
so, so respectful when talking to you. still a bit teasing though. he offers to help you even if you're carrying just one thing.
always glad to see you when you're visiting monstro lounge, floyd loves you just as much, but in a platonic way! he isn't going to steal jades version of his 'shirmpy'.
tried to make a drink thats named by you, azul didn't allow it, unfortunately. (for him). i'd be embarrassed tbh.
in your opinion jade is a bit weird.. but he's still super nice to you, no matter how weird this guy seems. he would never do anything that would make you uncomfortable.
similar to riddle- he opens doors for you, sometimes offers to cook for you, and sometimes treats you whenever you're at montro lounge. only if azul allows it though, which is pretty rare. like jade wtf dym "its on the house" no it's not shut up.
you sometimes wonder if his mushrooms are safe to eat or not.
it's probably best not to ask him though.
he may or may have not tried breaking into your dorm room because you weren't attending class and you weren't responding to his messages asking where you were. it was all on concern tho don't worry i swe-
genuinely doesn't have a problem with confessing, but he only confesses until he's confident that you like him back.
trigger warning for floyd though since he's probably gonna pop out anytime soon during the confession..
☆ — FLOYD LEECH
my condolences if he ever likes you.
just kidding, it'd be pretty fun if floyd started to like you. only if you really like his bone crushing hugs.
doesn't hide his crush on you at all, you gotta be super oblivious if you don't notice it if he didn't even confess to you yet the moment he finds out that he likes you.
you're definitely scared shitless whenever you see him. when you try to run away he chases you around the halls and he's so damn fast, it's nearly impossible to escape him.
plus- his mood swings too? who knows if he'll get excited when you run away from him or if he's gonna get pissed off.. but mostly he gets excited though.
has kabedoned you one, too many times. mostly to fluster you, but also to get your attention.
easily gets jealous- especially when someone else hugs you for a long time. no one can hug his shrimpy except him! he isn't possessive, that's just how floyd is.
also stares at you in class- but throws paper airplanes at you, with the writings inside saying "HI".
ends up getting in trouble because either he got caught, or riddle snitched. most likely the second one tho.
drags you to monstro lounge to help him clean up his OWN messes, but he (might) have intentionally done this to spend time with you..
☆ — KALiM AL-ASiM
probably one of the best people ever to have a crush on you if that even makes sense..
spoils you rotten, even more than when he spoils his friends which is obviously already huge. wanna buy something online but can't? he's already asking for the link so he can buy it for you!
you obviously feel bad whenever he does this, so you try to remind him that he doesn't have to do all of this stuff for you.
not only with gifts, he spoils you rotten with affection too. you feel bad for jamil as well, he seems annoyed, but as long as kalim's happy.
very very respectful and nice to you, and will stop anything you don't want him to do anytime, he sometimes flirts with you unintentionally too..
hugs you literally at literally any chance he gets, he's also pretty clingy, if you haven't noticed that yet.
shows you off to other scarabia students, it's pretty obvious that he has a crush on you too.
bro's lovesick
gets so upset when something happens to you because of him, worries that people will try to do some crazy shit to you as well because you have a good connection with him..
introduces you to his family like you're his wife or something.. and then when you ask him what are you guys he'll go:
"are we not engaged" "NO??"
he was fully convinced that you guys were dating already
he's a little bit delusional but that's ok..
☆ — JAMiL ViPER
like riddle, jamil does not have the time to fall in love with someone since he's already busting his ass off taking care of kalim.. and with his academics too. plus the overblot situation but we don't talk about that.
maybe you are a little bit scared of him as well, but little do you know this guy will literally adjust for you anytime. it's really hard to see though when he does.
VERY hard to see that he has a crush on you though. you'd confess and he'd be like,
"i gave you so much signs what do you mean i might not like you back"
you were starstruck when you heard him say that. what does he mean signs. does he mean when he glared at you in class..? you thought you did something wrong for a second.
like floyd, kalim once almost exposed jamil for liking you accidentally.. don't get me wrong, jamil didn't tell kalim anything, he just found out himself.
jamil definitely likes you trying his culture's food, especially if he cooked it himself! it's not obvious, but he lets a small smile creep up onto his lips.
studies with you too if you're ever having a hard time. studying? nah, more like tutoring.. he's kinda harsh at first but then softens up a bit when he sees that you're really struggling.
☆ — SiLVER
im sure we all know silver is a generally pretty reserved person. and that doesn't change even when he's crushing on you.
but you do notice him stealing glances from time to time whenever you walk past him, lilia definitely asks him about that.
he may be a tad bit more open with you than others? but it's purely because he trusts you.
you sometimes tie his hair to the hairstyle called "apple hair" when he's sleeping and he doesn't notice even when he wakes up, he only notices after looking at a mirror..
genuinely doesn't mind though. lilia thinks it's adorable (he also thinks you guys are perfect for each other)
and that's why lilias opinions are always important..
generally, you guys usually talk through chat because you two don't really have the time to talk to each other physically.
but still, he still thinks you're beautiful. even if he can't see you all the time. this dynamic is kinda like a hallway crush typebeat..??
lilia is your number 1 fan alongside malleus!! sebek still has mixed feelings but he likes you generally! he just isn't sure if he likes you for silver.. or if he's not sure if he likes silver for you.. does that make sense?
after awhile he joins malleus and lilia.
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©myunghology
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mrfoox · 1 year
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People showing interest and consistent interest in me always makes me worried... Wish my mind wasn't this way
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cereiza · 1 year
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i am thinking so many thoughts .
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riizewrld · 4 months
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˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚
riize as types of boyfriends!
˚ ༘ sfw/fluff
˚ ༘ warnings: i cussed a little. crucify me idc‼️
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˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚
shotaro: the type of boyfriend that wants to share everything! food, clothes, music playlists, you name it. this man literally sulks when you refuse a bite of his food. he cannot eat if he hasn’t offered you a taste first. he actually won’t buy food he’s knows you won’t eat. i also think he’d love to style you since he’s such a fashionista. would probably be obsessed with couple items. but they’re all from designer brands cuz he’s just rich and successful like that 😙😛. always so ready to drop a bag on you. what’s his is yours too!
eunseok: eunseok is the type of boyfriend to be mean asf but in a loving way, i swear. he teases the shit out of you, and if you weren’t dating y’all would probably be frenemies fr. he loves seeing you annoyed bc you look so cute with your eyebrows furrowed and your cheeks all red. lowkey likes when you raise your voice at him. you’d give him a stern look and he ceases all action and rapid fires his apologies with that sexy grin of his. (you know what grin I’m talking about!). eunseok just lives for your reactions. he’d love a fiesty girl with a cute appearance.
sungchan: he’s the type of boyfriend that cannot be away from you for too long. he’s kinda clingy, possessive and literally always wants to be touching you whenever y’all are together. he needs you like spongebob needs water. he’s so golden retriever coded too! he’s very upbeat and drags you along with him to different places. cafes, shopping centers, etc. even if he’s not doing anything important he’d rather be doing it with you attached to him at the hip. he always has one arm over your shoulder or around your waist. always taking advantage of y’all’s size difference! he’s definitely quality time typa guy. i feel like a black cat gf would suit him (me😆😐)
wonbin: the type of boyfriend who’s actually the girlfriend. i said what i said. maybe it’s bc he makes me wanna baby him..idk. but as much as he likes to act cool, we all know he’s kinda dorky and soft. plus, he’s so easily scared!! he’s not fooling anyone. he acts like he doesn’t like it when you take care of him, but you can tell he appreciates you a lot. i feel like he’s also the type to sing to you often. he has such a pretty voice and he likes showing off his strengths in front of you to make up for his “moments of weakness” as he’d probably call them. but it’s just him being bbygirl coded and you teasing him for it.
seunghan: sweet boy! seunghan is so canon. I just know he’s the type of boyfriend to worship the ground you walk on. I feel it in my bones . he generally seems like such an affectionate person, even with the members of riize. this man literally looks at you with hearts in his eyes. expect a lot of handholding, kissing, hugging etc. most definitely the type to do pda without even realizing. you’d have to constantly remind him that y’all are in public and that he can’t just put his hand up your shirt bc he felt like it. and he’d pout so hard with those beautiful lips of his. probably also a jealous type!
sohee: playful boyfriend all the way. y’all are like besties. sohee’s the type of boyfriend to unironically dab and make still vine references in 2024. like bro would casually naenae in the middle of a the street while on a walk with you bc why not. you’d cringe so hard but eventually end up laughing with him. he’s just goofy like that. he just loves cracking jokes and seeing you laugh at him. it gives him so much satisfaction. I think he’s also the type to try and prank you. idk. y’all would be like those youtube couple prank channels. but hopefully less cringe and not toxic 💀 random but i imagine y’all doing karaoke but it’s ice spice or smth and he’s fully immersed. shaking his ass like he got a dump truck.
anton: the type of boyfriend that knows every little thing there is to know about you. he’s just so quiet that you have no choice but to be the talkative one. he’s loves it though. you’re his little yapper! he’s so attentive, literally knows what you want before you even have to say it. he can tell how you’re feeling just from the look on your face. the type of bf that sits on your bed and listens to you rant while you clean your room or smth. he’s also physically incapable of being romantically invested in more than one person at a time. sooo fortunately for you, every other girl is fucking invisible to this man. the thought of another girl even liking him makes him want to crawl out of his skin. the type to be like “i have a girlfriend!1!1” when the girl was just trying to tell him that his backpack is unzipped and wide open‼️ he’d be speed walking away from girls i’m telling you.
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note: haha. first work complete. hope it wasn’t too silly. pls get the references lol . is the format ok? ik it’s basic but lmk what you think. ALSO!! DOESN’T THIS LOOK LIKE SOHEE?! ⬇️
(·•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )
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justa-dumbbear · 4 months
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Stank Prank
BRAAAAAP
“Whoooooo! That was a BIG ONE!”
I cringed and plugged my nose as I leaned over my paper. Brayden was at it again. He had brought his nasty friends over and was having a farting contest with them. I didn’t understand why he had to be my roommate. Why couldn't he be staying at one of the nasty frat houses or with his other jock friends? Why did I have to be the one who was forced to listen (and smell) an orchestra of farts and burps while I studied. I tried talking to the housing department about it, begging for a different roommate. I would have taken literally anybody else, but they said that there was nothing they could do. I was stuck with him. 
Ever since the day I first moved into the dorm, I had been subjected to the tortures of Brayden’s flatulence. Over time I had gotten mostly accustomed to the smell (a bucket full of air fresheners helped to keep my room mostly stench free), the sound is something I could never get used to.
BUUURRRPP
“Man that was NASTY!”
Even with my door closed, earbuds in, and focusing on studying, I couldn’t escape it. Enough was enough, I slammed open the door and stared angrily at the trio of jocks sitting on the couch and laughing their asses off.
“Look who finally came out to join us!” Brayden stood up, his massive 6’4 figure towering over me. “The nerd emerges from his cave.”
“Would it really kill you to put on some deodorant? Or maybe a visit to the doctor would be more beneficial, all of that farting and burping can’t possibly be normal.”
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“You’re disgusting.” I said bitterly, “But then again I’m not surprised, I wouldn’t expect anyone other than a group of dumb, hairy animals to smell the part.” Brayden’s two friends snickered and made overexaggerated gasping sounds. I allowed myself a bit of a smirk, maybe this’ll put that jock into his place. 
Brayden seemed unfazed by my insults. “You know, I really wish you were more like us, man. You’d be really fun to have around. Plus, you look like you could pull off some NASTY shit.” “I’d rather do anything then regress to your level.” I huffed and slammed my door shut, muffling the sounds of their laughter. 
The next evening I came back to the dorm to find the place abandoned, no sign of Brayden or his dumb friends. I sighed, finally I would be able to be alone and get some studying done in peace and quiet. I closed my bedroom door and set down my stuff. Better get started before-
BRAAAAAP
I jumped out of my seat, was that me, or was that Brayden announcing his entrance? Further inspection revealed that there was nobody at the front door, which had to mean… Before I could even begin to imagine how Brayden would have reacted if he could have heard that, I spotted something red on the chair. I walked over and picked it up, a whoopie cushion.
“Verrrrry funny, Brayden.” I said aloud. “But if you think that-” I was interrupted as a pungent smell assaulted my nostrils. The whoopie cushion, there’s no way it could have created a smell right? I squeezed it again.
BRAAAAAP
Yup, it was definitely the whoopie cushion. But how was that even possible? And how did it smell that bad? I put the whoopie cushion down on the floor. There was probably some kind of fake fart spray coating the thing. Now, back to work, I really didn’t want to waste any more quiet time before-
BUUURRRPP
“Little bro I’m back!”
Fuck.
I started walking towards the door, exams were coming up and I really needed to study so I was prepared to BEG for some silence. As I made my way across the room, I tripped over the whoopie cushion
BRAAAAAP“Whoa little bro, that was a nasty one!”
The smell tripled in intensity, as I tried to get back up to open a window, my legs gave out and I fell back down onto the cushion.
BRAAAAAP
My eyes began to water. Every inhale of the pungent stink was making me feel lightheaded. After some struggling, I managed to stand up, I felt woozy, like I had inhaled laughing gas. It was getting harder to think, so hard, why think at all? I blinked. What was I SAYING? I tried to hold my breath as I opened the door, but found myself breathing heavily as the fumes coursed through my body. I flung open the door and stumbled into- my bathroom? Wasn’t I trying to leave my room? I’m so stupid I must have gone to the wrong door by mistake, heh. What the fuck was happening? As I tried to collect my thoughts, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked… good. My arms and chest appeared bigger and more toned and I felt taller. It must the the smell making me see things there’s no way-
BRAAAAAP
That one came from me. 
BRAAAAAP
That one too. 
With each fart, I found myself getting taller, more muscular and toned. My pale computer nerd body melted away into a sporty physique. 
“Come on little bro don’t you understand? You’re no fun, so I have to make you fun. I can’t believe that whoopie cushion actually worked! But the rest is up to me now. Did you know you REEK?”
I sniffed my armpits, they smelled awful. I began searching through the cupboards for some deodorant.
“Not that you care anyways.”
BRAAAAAP
That's right, I didn’t care. I loved my smell, I lived in it. Why would I want to get rid of it?
“You love being a stinky, smelly jock”
BRAAAAAP
“A dumb, stinky, smelly jock”
BRAAAAAP
“A stupid, dumb, stinky, smelly jock.” BRAAAAAP
With each inhale I found myself agreeing with Brayden. With each fart I found my old self laving. 
BRAAAAAP
BRAAAAAP
BRAAAAAP I was always a dumb, smelly jock.
I loved being a dumb smelly jock.
I began to take off my clothes.
Being dumb is so nice, no worries, no cares.
It feels so good to reek and smell like a man.
Each time Brayden repeated it, I found myself sinking deeper. My mind completely clouded over.
So dumb, so smelly.
I walked over to the couch and lay back on it, lifting my pits to let my smell permeate the room. 
“Isn’t that so much better?” Brayden asked, “It feels so good to be stupid and smelly, just like us.”
BRAAAAAP
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590 notes · View notes
bluecollarmcandtf · 3 months
Note
I'm so annoyed, my best friend has such an asshole for a husband. He basically never pays attention to her, all he cares about sport, beer and his friends. He never helps around the house and he's a lazy slob! He's always at the gym or going to the game with his bros. He's such a prick, maybe he should just be date his bros since he's so obsessed with them. He's always complaining about his wife "bothering him". Plus who would want to marry a slob anyway, as a husband he should be devoted to cleaning his house and caring about who he is married to.
I think I found the guy you're talking about, and you're totally right about him being an asshole. Your friend deserves better than an uncaring, selfish, pig-of-a-husband. That girl has tolerated him for too long! She won't be seeing him or his sexist buddies ever again when I'm done here...
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Just look at him! The first thing he does when he gets home is grab a beer and park that fat ass of his on the couch. Sure, he might hit the gym later on his way to the bar, but he's not planning on helping his wife out with dinner. He's not really planning on talking to her at all until he needs a blow job later tonight.
You mentioned his name was Brett, I think?
Well, Brett can barely hold a job. He's lucky you gave him a chance and got him a gig as a delivery man. I think he's been doing this for a month now, but he absolutely resents the work. Brett can't really enjoy anything unless he has a beer in his hand, and he absolutely hates wearing that stuffy little uniform.
Nevertheless, he's been consistently showing up so far; probably because his wife is waking him up, washing his clothes, and feeding him breakfast. Brett essentially only uses her as a maid and sex toy!
It's a good thing I've got something planned for Brett today as he starts his delivery rounds. He doesn't notice me following as he grumpily carries a package out of his truck, and he doesn't have time to react when I reach out and grab the back of his head.
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"You're not going to move," I command, sinking my fingers into the soft parts of his skull, "You're going to let me in."
A deep sigh blows out of Brett's mouth, and I know his willpower is gone. "I'm not going to move. I'll let you in..." he repeats numbly.
With permission, I shoot inside his mind, discovering much of what I expected. His thoughts revolve around meeting up with his bros after work. He hasn't genuinely cared to think about his wife in ages. His mind is just as simple and unlikeable as he is.
Good thing I'm here to change it!
"Brett, I'm changing your thoughts. You like that. You want me to rewrite you."
"You're..." he struggles to form words, "You're changing my thoughts. I like that. I want you to rewrite me..."
"Good," I grin maliciously.
Bringing my lips closer to his ear, I begin to fill his head with his new personality. He accepts all his new goals and dreams wholeheartedly. I imagine, you will like them. They're the ones you asked for...
Done for now, I pull out of his mind, whipping Brett back into consciousness! He gasps for air as he regains his senses, but then something overtakes him. He's taken off running down the street!
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I follow behind, knowing exactly where he'll end up. I must say that I enjoy watching his thick ass jogging away in those tight brown shorts. He's a lot more muscular than I gave him credit for.
I'm sure his new husband will enjoy that body of his too.
Brett sprints several blocks and runs straight up to a house at the end of the street. It's the home of one of his football buddies. I think his name might be Axel or Alex or something. I'm not sure.
Anyways, Brett bangs on the door, panting like a dog. When the door is finally opened, he wastes no time. Brett pulls his bro in for the long passionate kiss he's been waiting for.
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"Dude?" his friend mumbles as their lips part, "What are you doing?"
Little does he know that I already hypnotized him, too. He's going to accept everything Brett does like it's what he's wanted all along.
"Axel! Man, I love you!" Brett moans, pulling his football buddy in closer, "I want you to marry me. I'll quit my job and be your housewife. I'll be better at that! And you can boss me around and use me however you want, bro! I mean everything; cooking, cleaning, everything!"
"Woah, dude! That's a lot to take in," he hesitates, but already his mind is giving in, "But yeah. I like the sound of that. Being my wife means more than just cooking and cleaning though."
Brett looks at his new love earnestly. Meanwhile, Axel straightens up and crosses his arms to look rough.
"It means pleasure, whenever I want it and wherever I want it. It means you only get to watch the football games in between you serving me and my friends. By the way, they're just my friends now. Got it, dude?"
"Yeah," Brett whines, "Just let me start now!"
Axel smirks and pulls his new house husband into the house, giving him a possessive slap on the butt as they pass over the threshold.
"Alright, bitch. I'm gonna treat you just as bad as you did that old girl of yours."
"Who?" Brett asks out of genuine confusion, but he's already brushed off the comment and dropped to his knees.
"I don't know. Don't care either," Axel sneers, "Just get started. Haven't blown a load all day."
The faint sound of repetitive gagging echoes out of the house as the front door slams shut. It seems like my work here is done.
The football gang will enjoy having a very willing bro to take care of all their needs, and Brett will do it with a genuine smile on his face. That friend of yours is a free woman, so I suggest she find something fulfilling to do with her life. Brett may be trapped in another marriage, but she sure as hell isn't!
Hope you liked how I handled your problem!
410 notes · View notes
earthtooz · 1 year
Note
OMG IM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH FOR FAKE PT.2 I LOVED PT 1 SM I LOVE YOU SM EHEHEH
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𝐅𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ─ when the reader receives hate ! pt 1
includes: reo mikage, michael kaiser, isagi yoichi
warnings: gn!reader, they/them prns in kaiser + isagi, 2k+ wc for reo, 1.6k for kaiser and 1k for isagi, ooc!characters, borderline panic attack in reo's, hate and negative comments, happy endings for all, let me know if i'm missing any warnings, bad wriitng LOL
a/n: ask and u shall receive ! bro why is the cover image so low quality i can't be assed to fix it - ANYWAYS ENJOY ANON !!!
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MIKAGE REO:
if there’s one thing reo is used to, it’s the amount of eyes constantly surveying his every move. there is not one aspect of his life that hasn’t been intruded by the amount of aristocratic families wondering how he’s doing. reo’s quite fed up with it himself. 
but of course, if there’s one thing dating reo mikage entails, it’s having those same eyes scrutinising your every move even harder- a fact you accepted before he asked you to be his. a fact you were starting to get used to.
despite all the glamourised smiles and ambiguous compliments of your relationship, there will always be some who aren’t afraid to voice their opinions.
which, is how you got stuck talking to some ceo’s daughter at a gala you were attending as reo’s plus one. 
“i’m not trying to be mean or anything, just honest,” she says with a particular slice of her hands, flaunting her expensive nails and jewellery. “but i don’t think you’re right for reo, and i know i am not the only one who thinks that! don’t you think it’s time you stop hogging him and y’know, return him to those who really deserve him?”
something disgusting churns within you at the way she talks of your boyfriend, as if he were some goal; a fish in a sea of hungry fishermen. the statement makes you feel violated, you can’t imagine how reo would feel being talked about like this for his entire life.
“and who might that be?” you counter, trying your best to remain calm and not give in to the storm within you.
she flares her nostrils, narrowing her perfectly painted eyes. “look around. take a good glance at the competition.”
“i won’t do that because there is no competition. reo chose me, whether you like it or not,” you firmly place your drink down on the table beside you before pointedly showing her the beautiful promise ring, encrusted with diamonds that reo himself placed on your finger. “besides, if there even was a competition in the first place, i’m afraid you’re all much too late.”
with a final sneer, she turns around with a pointed flick of her healthy, smooth hair before walking away, classy and expensive as ever.
just like everyone around you.
you, on the other hand, find it hard to breathe, and the luxurious fabric of your even more luxurious outfit is clinging to your body. before you even know it, you’re making a run for the exit, slipping past crowds of people and ignoring their looks of curiosity. 
no one would bother to look too long anyways.
you should be proud of how you managed to remain level-headed during that interaction, but you can’t help but give in to her manipulative tactics. you did take a good look of the competition and they all looked like millions upon millions of dollars. they have had their life plan sorted from the very moment of their birth, their destiny handed to them of a silver platter, and although you know to look beyond the materialism and gold, it’s hard to ignore it when you’re surrounded by marble walls and crystal chandeliers.
suddenly feeling like an imposter, you just want to hop in a cab and go home.
bolting through expansive halls with decorative arches and doors to match, you’re almost at the parking lot where the chauffeurs awaited, just a flight of stairs await your descent.
it’s not until a hand catches your wrist that you stop. 
turning around, you find no comfort in the familiarity of reo’s face which was laced with concern and worry. he’s panting, a thin layer of sweat coating his skin, and his hair was all over his face. was he chasing after you?
“y/n! where are you going?” the purple-haired asks, eyebrows furrowing even more as he notices the distressed state you’re in. he grabs both your hands, manoeuvring you to look him square in the eyes. except, it’s so difficult, you’re looking everywhere but at him. “i was calling your name the entire time, did you not hear me?” 
“reo, please, leave me alone,” you request with a shaky voice, trying to get out of his grip with no success.
“i can’t, not when you’re like this,” he protests, “deep breaths, y/n, come back to me.”
a few moments of silence pass by, allowing you to return to your senses as reo holds your hands against his heart, stroking your skin with his thumb. no longer overwhelmed and suffocated by your thoughts, it’s hard to look your boyfriend in the eye, cowering away from his gaze.
“what’s the matter?” he asks gently, pressing a hand against your cheek delicately. it’s warm. you want to melt into him.
“it’s- i, i had a really- you know what, nevermind,” you murmur, shaking your head, turning your back against reo as you pull your hands away from his. 
you miss the expression of heartbreak that appears on his pretty face. 
your cold actions don’t deter him. instead, it makes him more determined to stay by your side, chasing after you even as you descend down the stairs. since your shoes were a lot more complicated than his, the soccer player catches up to you quickly to guide you by the small of your back as he mirrors your pace.
“i want to go home,” you mutter to him once you’re on the ground, trying your best not to collapse under the gaze of so many, surrounded by butlers and chauffeurs.  
he nods with a gentle gaze. “let’s go home then.”
his kindness is not enough to shield you from the scrutiny that bears into you. “no, reo, you should stay, i’ll just catch a taxi home or something.”
he looks at you in pure astonishment, slightly taken back by your weird attitude. 
“but i don’t want to. why would i want to stay if you’re not?” asks the purple-haired. 
opting to remain silent rather than answer, you try to walk towards the main road of the highway, only to be cut off by reo shoving himself in front of you.
“and why would i let you take a cab home?” your purple-haired lover questions, placing both of his hands on his cheeks so you can finally look him in the eye. “y/n, what’s going on? something happened, didn’t it?”
taking both of his hands away from your face, you take a step away; once again missing the look of astonishment and heartbreak that appears on reo’s face. “nothing happened,” you say stubbornly, rubbing your hands against your arms.
“i don’t want to go home if you’re like this, can we please just talk for a little?” he remains behind you, getting the hint that you don’t want to be provoked or touched in any way, even if it’s killing him. the soccer player’s fingers itch with the need to embrace and trace every part of you that you’ll allow, but, for the sake of your fragile state, he doesn’t.
with a small exhale, you agree. it would be unfair for you to leave reo in the dark, continually brushing off his genuine kindness due to some chick that got in your head.
he leads you towards the gardens nearby which were dimly lit, yet still very beautiful. spring was in full season, so you could only catch glimpses of the beautiful flora that aligned the path, but there was no denying that it was still breathtaking. reo walks beside you, synchronising his footsteps with yours.
eventually, you arrive at a fountain in the middle of the garden. where you take a seat on its marble ledge, reo whispers ‘one second’ to you before running off to the bushes where the red roses were. he returns quickly, jogging back to you with a singular flower in his hands. 
“for you, my love,” he declares with a small smile, bowing with an extended hand, expecting you to take his gift.
you readily do, heart warming at his silliness whilst twirling the rose in your fingers. “thank you,” you reply, pressing a kiss to his cheek when he places his hand next to you so he can lean against the fountain for support. 
the promise ring you wear on your finger feels heavier than usual, especially when he smiles fondly at you, a lovesick expression on his face that is no doubt mirrored by you. 
but looking at him, you can’t help but recall the stinging reality that he lived in a world of glamour, decadence, and allure; only doubled by the fame that came with his life as a pro-soccer player. you love reo with your whole being, really, sometimes you fear that your feelings might be a little too much, but loving him with a materialistic barrier in between is difficult. 
the idea of letting him go than stealing him away from the world of mystique feels suddenly a lot kinder.
“reo,” you begin after a few minutes of simply being in each other’s presence. he looks at you with widened eyes and raised eyebrows, directing 100% of his attention towards you. with a deep inhale, you continue.
“do you ever think that… we’re not, meant to be?”
the silence is deafening.
“what do you mean?” he asks with a small stutter of disbelief, “of course we’re meant to be! you’re the one for me- you’re my soulmate!”
usually, when reo says that, it makes your insides gush and flutter, but now it riddles you with guilt and scepticism. “how can you be so sure?”
“y/n,” he sounds so very desperate. reo’s eyes have always been the window to his soul and seeing the way they shine with tears, your chest clenches with an unpleasant feeling. “why are you doubting my love for you?”
his hand goes to your ring finger, playing with the jewellery that you suddenly feel like you don’t deserve.
“you agreed, remember? you agreed to letting me love you forever and loving me in return. i put this ring on you because it’s always going to be you, no matter what circumstance, i’ll always choose you.” 
“but is choosing me the right decision?”
“yes, a thousand times yes, there will never be. anyone. but. you.” reo increases the amount of emphasis he puts into each word, now changing his position so that he stood in front of you, caging you with his build. “can you tell me what happened, beautiful? because something clearly did and soured my gorgeous y/n’s mood.”
the sudden onslaught of compliments, mixed with how close reo was, broke down your resolve easily, crumbling at his feet as you gave in to his gentle demands. 
“i met an unpleasant someone who told me i should give you up for people who deserve you more,” you whisper, throwing your arms around his neck, a gesture of equal affection and possessiveness. 
he hums, seemingly calm but you know better. the furrow of his eyebrows was one of scrutiny and distaste. you’re glad he’s trying to remain subtle, you’ve had enough of emotional responses for one night.
“and who might this unpleasant someone be?”
“i have no idea. she gave me a name but it went in one ear then out the other.”
pressing his face into the junction where your neck and shoulder meet, the soccer player revels at this chance to be close to you. 
“it was probably important though,” you reiterate, “and, well, might be able to benefit you a lot better than i ever can.” 
he scoffs into your skin, causing you to shiver. “no one’s name is as important as mine, my love, and no one can boost it more than what it’s already worth. if anything, those who have me gets the boost, i’m already the best.” 
his (rightfully deserved) cockiness makes you smile ever so slightly as you punch his shoulder. “are you implying i’m a gold digger?”
“well, you didn’t choose me, did you?” asks reo with a raise of his eyebrow. “i begged you to go on a date with me and you only agreed the fourth time i asked.”
the recollection makes a giggle slip past your lips- a sound reo dearly missed as he admires your beauty in the dim lighting of the gardens. he places a fleeting kiss on your neck before looking up at you. 
“of course, everyone else won’t know that and assume,” you point out before leaning in towards his lips, unable to resist him much longer.
“who cares?” he mutters against you before melting against you in a gentle kiss filled with love, reassurance, and promises. “they’re all irrelevant anyways, just a bunch of talkers with nothing to back up their words.”
“then what am i?”
“you’re my future. you’re the one that actually cares about me, more than my money or my soccer skills. remember the first day we met and you told me to get out of the way? back in college?”
“well you were blocking my path. i was running late to my class as well.”
reo chuckles, pulling away from you so there was a little distance between your faces. “never thought i’d want someone so bad just because they didn’t know who i was.”
“then show me,” you say with a little challenge in your tone. “screw the gala, take me home, reo.”
“thought you’d never ask.”
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MICHAEL KAISER:
“kaiser gets it in! a miracle shot, just what you’d expect from bastard münchen’s genius striker!” the announcer exclaims as the crowd shoots up in excitement, roaring and buzzing with excitement as the members of germany’s football team all swarm around the blond, cheering and celebrating. 
kaiser participates in the hype, fist bumping his teammates before running back to position, but not without sparing a look at the screen that was displaying the match. no one misses the kiss he blows in the direction of the camera and although the stadium is filled with squeals (from boys, girls, grown ups and children alike), you know something they don’t.
right before the match, kaiser made you promise that each goal of his equated to ten kisses, a deal that you readily accepted and bumped up to twenty as a way of motivating him to take the game home.
that kiss he blew was just a way of solidifying that he was thinking of you and the wink he sent straight after was just making sure you’d keep your promise.
you can’t help but feel like the luckiest person in the world with him. 
as the match progresses, you can tell it’s going to be an easy victory, with all favours towards your lover’s team - kaiser earning another two himself. 
it’s almost scary just how effortlessly he dominates, settling the score at 3-1 for bastard münchen, once again making feats you thought were difficult look effortless. as the whistle blew announcing the end of the game, roars fill the stadium once again and you too, jump up with the crowd to cheer as loudly as you can.
repping his jersey with his name on the back, it just feels too good, especially when you bask in the afterglow of a well deserved victory.
you don’t miss the amount of glances kaiser sends your way, antsy to be able to reach you and spend some time with you because he’d rather have you congratulate him than a bunch of old, white men that just want to sponsor him. they can get in line because you’re his top priority.
you hope he sees you and the heart you make with your arms over your head just for him. 
dawdling out of the stadium always takes forever because of the amount of people that always come to see his game so when over half the people have cleared out, you make your way down to the front row, where your soccer genius boyfriend was waiting for you.
“you were incredible, my love,” you say as a greeting, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug, one that he readily returns. you don’t really care that he was sweaty, too overwhelmed by how proud of him you were.
not that your opinions really mattered in the grand scheme of things, but kaiser considered it a great lucky charm, one he holds highly.
“as always,” he mutters, pressing a kiss against your cheek. you giggle at the sensation, smiling widely as he continues. “tell me more about how amazing i was.”
rolling your eyes at his arrogance, you decide to indulge him, just a little. “the best out there, greatest soccer player of all time, and you looked so handsome too, my main character,” you pinch his cheek. “done?”
“not at all,” keens kaiser, smiling at you like a cat.
“get your stuff first and then when we’re home, i’m all yours.”
“i’m holding you to your promise, pretty, that’s sixty kisses from you.”
with a final kiss on the forehead as farewell, you bid him goodbye and watch as he runs off to get changed, joining ness who was waiting for him by the exit. the magenta-haired soccer player waves at you from halfway across the field, a gesture you readily return before turning around to go outside.
passing by the security guards who give you a little nod of acknowledgement, you’re relieved to see that the audience that gathered tonight had gone off into their cars, ready to go home for the night. 
you’re about to go around to where the players exit so kaiser wouldn’t swarmed by a flurry of fans and reporters, until you’re stopped by a hand on the shoulder. the grip wasn’t strong, but demanding enough for you to turn around and greet whoever wanted to talk to you.
it was a pair of teenage girls. they were well-dressed and pampered, but the look they were giving you was less than friendly. somehow, you already knew where this conversation was going.
“can i help you?” you ask, flashing them a smile.
one of them eyes you up and down, judgement very clear in her eyes. you cringe a little. “are you kaiser’s partner?” she asks. 
you nod in affirmation. you hate the sleazy feeling developing in your gut, expanding due to the scrutiny of their gazes. one of the girls nudge the other one in an ‘i told you so’ manner, which is returned with a smirk that is mischievous in kind.
“do you need something from me?” you question, finally letting your astoundment show on your face. really, you just wanted to walk away from this conversation and find kaiser so you could go home.
“yeah, we’re just wondering why, y’know, that he’d choose you.” 
“excuse me?”
“like don’t get us wrong, you’re pretty and all, but we just think that you’re kinda bland for him,” one of them states as the other hums in agreement. 
the audacity. you furrow your eyebrows and stand your ground.
“okay, cool. what do you suggest i do then since you seem to be experts in my relationship.”
“break up with him, duh?”
“and let one of you date him instead?” you scoff. “fat chance.” 
“just give him up, okay? we could love kaiser more than you probably ever could, clout chaser.”
“gold digger!”
now amused more than frustrated, you bite back the laugh that bubbles in your chest. it was entertaining seeing some sixteen year old girls try to tell you that you and your boyfriend (of two years) shouldn’t be together. 
being kaiser’s partner had its downsides sometimes, and it was mostly just the hate you receive for ‘stealing’ him off the market, especially since he was so young, some fans didn’t appreciate that he wasn’t an eligible bachelor. but, you’re used to it. so long as you get to watch him in the spotlight, you don’t really mind the darkness. 
you sigh, crossing your arms over your chest. “right… are we done here? because this ‘gold digger’ wants to see their partner and congratulate him.”
“what part aren’t you understanding?” one of them asks before the other one completes the sentence. “you and kaiser just don’t look good together!”
before you could answer, a heavy arm drapes itself over your shoulders. “aww, why not?” a familiar voice asks. the two girls in front of you freeze, panic evident on their faces. “what disturbances held you up from seeing me?”
then you see and hear an overload of flashes and camera clicks. kaiser must’ve caught the paparazzi on his way out and you suddenly remember that you left him waiting, feeling slightly guilty when you turn your head to meet his gaze. you wrap your arms around his torso, happier than ever to feel his warmth against your own. 
“what happened here?” kaiser asks, a question directed at you and you only. 
“they were just telling me that they didn’t like that i was a main role in your theatre,” you say, earning an eyebrow raise from your genius boyfriend. “how should we fix that?”
he hums for a moment, meeting the widened eyes of his fans.
“kick them out,” he simply declares before turning around with you still in his arms. you two pass by paparazzi, paying them little mind except from the small smiles you send their way. 
once you’re in a clearer, quieter area, your boyfriend turns to you and embraces you properly, a gesture you return eagerly as he breathes you in.
“what a way to sour such a good victory,” murmurs kaiser, voice muffled by his jersey that you were wearing. “can’t believe i had to play your knight in shining armour instead of the king that i am.”
you pinch his neck which causes him to flinch with a little shriek. always leave it to you to dumb down his narcissism.
“i was handling it myself pretty well, y’know,” you sigh, “being the michael kaiser’s partner, i’ve grown immune to the hate i receive.”
kaiser frowns, “i didn’t think it happened often,” he whispers. “i’m sorry. how many times have you had to defend yourself without me knowing?”
“it hardly matters-”
“-but it does. i don’t like when people slander you, less when it’s for no reason other than because you’re with me. you should be marvelled at and admired, just like the masterpiece you are.”
his words cause butterflies to erupt in your stomach, a feeling you mask with a playful eye roll. 
“yes but,” you counter, reaching to cup his cheek, “being with you makes up for it.” 
he smirks, contrasting the downhearted expression he wore moments earlier. kaiser’s skill of immediately recovering from whatever kicks him down truly is something to behold and at times, envy. “of course it does,” he boasts, dramatically flipping one of his bangs. 
“besides, i’m willing to fight back if it means i get to be with you.”
before he can argue back, you grab his arm and pull him towards the entrance.
“now come on, let’s talk about it another day. i believe i owe you sixty kisses.”
“make it one hundred now for leaving me waiting for so long.”
“if you get too greedy i’ll leave you on the sidewalk.”
“you’d do that to your king? how dare you!”
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ISAGI YOICHI:
“what does your mum like?” you ask a clueless isagi who simply stares at the range of perfumes that the department store had displayed.
“i have no idea,” he mutters. “i never really paid attention to what smells she used.”
“fragrances, yoichi, not smells.”
“oh. right,” the star soccer player rubs his neck awkwardly, smiling sheepishly at you after correcting his small mistake. 
he was so adorable, you wanted to pinch his cheeks.
this was the first time that isagi was buying a gift for his mother with his own money, and the first person he turned to for help was his partner: you, explaining that this had to be the best gift she’s ever received. for how much she’s done for him, and how much she’s supported his soccer career, isagi doesn’t know if he can repay it through money, but gifts are hard to deny regardless.
readily agreeing to help, you have memories of isagi’s mother welcoming you into the family with warm arms. she would tell you how beautiful you are, how excited she was to meet you, and that her son better treat you well otherwise you could always turn to her for help; a statement that made the star striker gulp.
“i mean, you could never go wrong with a few classics like carolina herrera, dior, or chanel?” you suggest, walking over to the section filled with perfumes contained in shelves, their respective brands displayed on top. isagi follows you like a lost puppy, clinging close to your side by holding your hand, squeezing it ever so often.
everything you’re saying is going in one ear and through the other, and isagi lets it show on his face. 
“don’t worry yoichi, any perfume you pick tends to be a good gift regardless, besides, we have the whole day to figure out what your mum likes,” you reason logically, just in case it might provide him with some relief in the midst of expensive, designer fragrances. 
“right,” he huffs, reaching out to read the labels of some bottles.
after a long hunt of going through the shelves, he eventually settles on a fragrance from maison francis (with a pricetag that made you gawk yet isagi was very calm about, agreeing without even thinking about it), but since the packaged version was locked in a glass cabinet, you opted to call a store attendant.
“that’s a great idea, babe, need me to go with you?” he asks, readjusting the strap of his beat-up bag, the one he’s had since high school. funny how some things don’t change for isagi, you love that about him.
you shake your head in response, telling him to ‘wait here’ before strolling off.
however, during this brief time of being without you, isagi was approached by a trio who looked like they were a family, the eldest holding a phone between his hand.
“isagi yoichi?” he asks timidly, fiddling with the phone.
the soccer player flashes a friendly smile, hoping to reduce any of the anxiety they might feel from approaching him. he was just an average, friendly guy after all. “that’s me, need anything?”
“can we take a picture?” the middle daughter asks, pressing her hands together in a pleading motion.
“of course! come on.”
the set of siblings smile eagerly before ambling to isagi’s side, who squats down so he could fit in frame. after a ‘3, 2, 1’ countdown, the photo is taken and just as the dark-haired athlete was about to stand up, a store attendant approaches.
“would you like me to take the picture?” they ask politely, gesturing to the phone.
simultaneously, everyone agrees and soon enough, the photo is taken and done, allowing isagi to high-five them before waving them off, the three of them thanking him profusely for his time.
the store attendant lingers, turning to face him with wide eyes of admiration. “wow, i didn’t think i’d ever get to meet you!” they exclaim. “i watched your match against the under-20 team like so long ago! you were amazing!”
“oh, yeah,” isagi chuckles, flustered at all this recognition, even though he’s been getting more and more of it lately, “thank you for your support.”
although he inwardly cringes at the line that he’s reused over and over again, the store helper thinks nothing of it, beaming back at him. “you’re super cute too, do you think i could get your number?”
isagi lets his shock show on his face before blurting out: “no, i have a partner already.”
the attendant’s face drops into a look of disappointment and the striker wants to run off to find you. you never should have left him alone.
“what a shame. the person that you were just with right?” isagi nods. “don’t know what you think is so special about them, i personally think you’re too good for them and should find someone better, but, it’s not up to me.”
isagi feels his vision zero in, growing red with each word. him? too good for you? what irony.
“excuse me?” he vocalised lowly- practically a growl as he eyes the employee down. “i’m giving you three seconds to get out of my sight before i-.”
he’s too preoccupied with the fury he feels to notice the way the attendant squeaks, eyes laced with fear, before scurrying off mid-sentence, fully intimidated by the striker. isagi sighs, slumping his shoulders. he’s never used that tone to anyone outside of soccer in an attempt of pre-game slander and now he just misses you.
where did you run off to?
right on queue, you materialise beside him, huffing with a pout on your face. “i couldn’t find any store attendants, that’s so weird! where’d they go?”
deciding against telling you that he just scared one away for trashing you, he simply leans his body weight on you, sighing when you embrace him tightly so he wouldn’t knock the both of you over.
“whoa, what’s gotten into you all of a sudden?” you ask, unable to hide the smile on your face from his sudden acts of affection. “everything okay, love?” 
“i want to go home,” he whispers against your shoulder. “spend some time with you.”
“what about the gift?”
“i’ll order it online. it can arrive in time.”
relenting, you pluck him off you with great effort. “if you’re sure then, okay, let’s go home.”
“we can get takeout from your favourite on the way home.”
“what’s the occasion?”
“thought i needed to show you how much i appreciate you.”
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lovelybee666 · 3 months
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What if Smiling Critters learned that their s/o has a baby nephew or niece and has to care of them just one day ?
Autor's note: At the moment I will only do Dogday, Catnap, Kickin and Bobby but I promise to do a second part soon where the others are.
Smiling Critters care of the baby nephew of their S/O part 1
(part 2, very soon!)
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DOGDAY
• This is a piece of cake for Dogday!...kinda
• Everything started well, you left and he introduced himself to your nephew, your nephew didn't understand anything but it wasn't important.
• Dogday thought about the following activities and wrote them on a piece of paper (it looked like some weird Chinese letter) while watching your nephew.
• But doing so many things began to exhaust him, he wrote a letter and watch your nephew, over and over again.
• Dogday's eyes started to get heavy and he ended up falling asleep.
• When he woke up you were in front of him laughing.
• The poor dog was confused, he didn't understand what was happening until he saw himself in a mirror...
• BRO, HE HAD FROM HIS NECK TO THE TIPS OF HIS EARS STRIPED WITH PENS, PAINT, CRAYONS AND MORE.
• He spent a long time trying to remove the marker and paint but it turned out to be permanent so he had to go to the mechanic with too much shame.
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CATNAP
• Don't do it please
• At least if you are there or Dogday, BUT ALONE??
• Catnap looks at your nephew in silence, your nephew looks at him and starts crying
• Catnap panicked and was trying to calm your nephew without putting them to sleep.
• He is aware of what his gas produce and the nightmares, if your nephew wakes up after the nightmare it would be even worse than now.
• Catnap tried to cradle your nephew but they continued to cry.
• Imagine Catnap with a child in his arms, smiling nervously and probably with his heart about to jump out of place.
• He starts shaking the child because he has no idea what to do, normally he put the children sleep but this was YOUR nephew and he couldn't just do that.
• Plus, if you find out that he used his red gas to put them to sleep, he'll have a good time with the mechanic.
• Catnap left your nephew on the couch and went to get some apple or something for your nephew, he came back and started feeding your nephew, he didn't even cut the apple...
• when you came home you see Catnap about to feed your baby nephew a WHOLE, unwashed apple.
• Your nephew will probably be horribly afraid of Catnap after that.
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KICKINCHIKEN
"leave it to me, S/O!"
• that was Kickin's last words before he died (just kidding)
• Right now he's with a hyperactive child making messes all over the place.
"WAIT, DON'T PUT THAT FORK INTO THE OUTLET!"
"NO, THE PAINT THAT CRAFTYCORN MAKE FOR HOURS, NO"
"HOW DID YOU GET TO THE ROOF—"
• Bro, he's suffering too much
• Normally the children were calm BUT YOUR NEPHEW?? IT'S WORSE THAN DOGDAY AND HOPPY.
• your nephew is hungrier than Picky and scarier than Catnap.
• H O W ?
• There is too much chaos and from outside everyone can hear Kickin's screams and your nephew that breaks everything in their path.
• He's praying for you to arrive soon and as soon as you arrive, he stands behind you like a scared cat.
• Same as Catnap, DON'T LEAVE HIM ALONE WITH YOUR NEPHEW.
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BOBBY BEARHUG
• Thousand level overprotective bear.
• she spends the whole day with your nephew in her arms.
• No matter what you ask of her, they will always be in her arms.
• If she let go and they disappear, she enter the next level of maximum anxiety.
• she's looking everywhere, she even went with Mommy Long Legs for some reason.
• she asks everyone she sees around for help while she searches.
• When she finds them, she relaxes 100% and leaves them sleeping.
• You can leave her alone with your nephew😌 almost no problems✨
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