#like yeah vampires got different anatomy and all that but holy shit that would make anyone a little sick | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

letsbenditlikebennett · 4 years

Text

I’ll Make a Wolf Out of You || Ariana & Sammy

TIMING: Late Tonight PARTIES: @letsbenditlikebennett & @inspirationdivine SUMMARY: This time, Ariana and Ace (Sammy) meet up as planned so she can turn him into a werewolf. CONTENT: Abuse mentions and some medical blood

Sammy was calm. He was completely calm. His knee wasn’t bouncing as he worked by the lathe, there wasn’t a large stack of coffee cups by his side, his eyes weren’t dark from staying up so much last night. Everything was chill, as the house got quiet and he crept through the house. She wasn’t going to catch him again. He shut each door behind him so quietly, it didn’t even click. He held his shoes in his hands as he ran on socks along the hall, and gently cracked the basement door open. Nearly there. Nearly there (and no, no way was Sammy even considering how this sneaking about worked with the being devoted to Lydia), as he bolted down the stairs, not quite remembering to shut the door fully behind him. He slipped on his shoes, moved the hidden basement tunnel hatch, and crept through the passage. He almost ran the whole way to their meetup place, careful not to trip over anything in the dark. Tonight was the night. He bounced from foot to foot, pulling his hoody a little closer around him. There was some clay on the sleeve. He picked at it as he waited, so Sammy, being totally calm, jumped a mile in the air when Ariana approached him. “He-Hey!”

All day, Ariana had been thinking about what tonight would entail. She’d never done anything like this before and she was feeling a bit nervous. To prepare, she’d been sure to eat a heart, meat-packed dinner to ensure hunger wouldn’t make her lose control. Today was the day she was turning Ace into a wolf like her and it left her feeling antsy. Last time he hadn’t shown up, but he still seemed eager to do this. She was as well. The sooner she could take him under her wing, the sooner he’d be away from Lydia. The sooner he’d stop the whole slowly dying from being her meal. It left her both excited and nervous in the same breath. She waited at their spot, her bag filled with first aid supplies so she could quickly patch Ace up after she bit him. When she arrived, she was relieve to see Ace was already there. She quickly wrapped him in a hug and mumbled, “Hey, Ace.” She couldn’t decide if it was better or worse to get this over with right away. “I brought everything we’ll need to patch you up after the bite. Are you feeling okay with everything?”

Sammy wrapped her arms tight around her, giving her a squeeze to chill his jitters about tonight. He looked up through the tree canopy at the the half moon. In one week, he’d feel it calling him for the first time. Which started…. Tonight. Tonight! “Uhhhhh what?” He asked, realising she’d been asking him a question. “Right, right! Yeah, I’m so ready. I can’t believe this is happening. I mean, it is still happening, right? You still want to bite me?” He had so many questions. Were there special rules about where he got bitten? Did he get to choose? Could she do it like this or would she wolf up? What did she look like as a wolf? What if- Sammy had to slam a brake on his thoughts right there, just looking at her. “I missed you.”

Although she had been looking forward to this, to finally knowing he’d be safe with her, Ariana had to make a conscious effort to keep herself calm. She remembered her deep breaths Celeste always had her do as she hugged him. This was real. After tonight, he’d be like her and Lydia wouldn’t want to keep him as dinner anymore. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself though it didn’t entirely relieve the pit forming in her stomach. She looked up to him and nodded quickly, “Yeah, of course… I mean it only sounds a little weird when you put it like that, but that’s what’s happening so, yes I still want to bite you.” What was she even saying? Her cheeks flushed pink and she realized she was sounding about as composed as he was. Tighten up, Bennett. With another long inhale, she reminded herself this was going to make things better. “So,” she began more coolly this time, “Where should I-- I figure you probably don’t want it to be anywhere too noticeable because it will scar, but I also don’t want to like… chomp into a vital organ or something.” She should have asked Kaden’s girlfriend about anatomy or something. She was always turning things into long science words. That thought seemed to melt away when he said he’d missed her. She looked back up to him and her face softened. “I missed you, too, Ace.”

Were there places that it would be weird to ask to be bit? Sammy took a long moment to think it over, looking himself up and down. Not his arms - the clay room got so hot at times he only wore a vest/ Not his neck, or his shoulders - well, that was vampires, wasn’t it? No vital organs, she’d said, and truth be told Sammy wasn’t too clear on where his non vital organs were. He’d learned from his family that you could be hurt in a lot places in a way tat could quickly turn fatal, but that wouldn’t happen here, right? Sammy looked his freckled arms up and down. “What about, like, above my knee? Does that make sense?” He wrapped his arms around her again, and he was sure with those ears she could hear just how fast his heart was racing, and just how sweaty he was. “One more week, yeah? We’ve got this. Totally.”

At least he seemed to be thinking over where she’d bite him though she could hear the way his heart pounded in his chest, reverberating and beating in her ears. Ariana reached out to him and placed a hand on his arm. “It’s going to be okay,” she said surely, “I can do above the knee. Just do your best to stay still, I know I’ll probably look scary as a wolf.” Had he ever even seen a werewolf up close? Sure, she was small relative to other wolves, but she was still powerful and larger in wolf form. Despite his obvious nerves, he still hugged her and she leaned into him. Only a week until freedom. No more late nights spent up worrying about him and lightly stalking Lydia. She doubted they’d entirely abandoned nights spent in the woods, but she could almost picture what he would look like smiling under a sunny sky. The thought made her let out a soft breath and look up to him. “One more week. We do have this, I’m ready when you are. I will have to change into a wolf first.”

Sammy rolled up his shorts until his upper thigh was completely exposed.Goosebumps raised along his skin, it was really too cold to be wearing just shorts at night. But in the daytime it had been hot, and it hadn’t occurred for him to change before coming here. Which, uh, was a good choice, because otherwise he would have had to take off his jeans entirely for her to bite him. The idea made him red around the ears. “Cool, cool. Ready as I’ll ever be to, uh, literally change species. Wow. That’s yeah - uh, I’m ready!” He looked at her, and suddenly remembered the twilight movies his cousins had watched. His face flushed as red as tomato. “Should I, uh, turn around? While you do your thing?” He gestured vaguely at all of her.

This was it. Ariana knew where she was going to bite him all that was left was to just do it. She took in a deep breath and mentally prepared herself for what she was about to do. Ace was ready to go. “Alright then, here we go,” she said more confidently this time to make sure he was at ease. Before she could begin to tug at her shirt his question registered in her mind and she noticed how flushed he was. “Oh, right,” she said with a small laugh, “If that makes you more comfortable, that’s fine. I wake up at least three mornings a month naked in the woods. Kinda desensitized to the whole nudity thing.” Though if she really thought about it, she could acknowledge this felt a little different somehow. Either way, they’d both see each other like this regularly once he was a wolf, too. She shook that thought away as she began to nearly remove her clothes and set them down on her pack. With another slow breath in and out, she focused on shifting her features into the more wolflike version of herself. Her bones moved with ease as tufts of gray and white fur came in all over her body. There was always something so liberating about being in this state. She felt more in tune with everything around her and as her paws hit the ground, she became acutely aware of Ace’s heartbeat thumping away. Twigs cracked under her paws as she took a few slow steps toward Ace. Her connection to her objective pushed her forward, but reminded her to be gentle. He wasn’t like her, not yet. She gazed at him for a few moments, wolf eyes catching the light of the moon, and cautiously waited for his approval to move forward.

Sammy flushed bright red, turning away from her slightly. Any thoughts of this being the norm in just one week had completely missed him by. Sammy waited, breathing fast as he heard her take off her clothes. Her breathing changed, growing lower and deeper, and when her paws padded on the forest floor Sammy finally looked back, staring back at a wolf. A wolf! “Holy shit, holy shit!” Were his first, highly intelligent words. Sammy tried again.“You’re like a wolf wolf! Which I knew, I know, but the wolf knowing and the seeing of wolfage-” Sammy stammered, realising he was slowly backing away. No, nope, this was what he wanted. But, seeing her teeth in the moonlight, it was suddenly occurring to Sammy, very, very quickly, that this was going to hurt. There were a lot of teeth, glistening white, and they’d be sinking into his leg. “Okay, okay, wow, holy shit. Just, just give me a sec. Do you still understand me? Uh-” He looked around, before carefully lowering himself down to sitting - standing while being bitten on the leg was probably not a good idea. He swallowed, adjusting his collar as he looked at her. “Okay. Ready!”

The wolf remained still and let Ace work out his anxiety. His words sounded odd to Ariana when she was in this form, but she could vaguely connect his body language and tone of voice to mean he needed a moment. So she stood still, keeping her breaths quiet and form small to appear less intimidating. The pounding of his heart rang in her ears, but his scent still had the same soothing quality. Once he sat down and he indicated he was ready, she took slow and deliberate steps toward him. Instincts screamed to charge, but she could maintain balance like this. The moon was far enough away and she was in full form which made it much easier. Her affection for Ace far outweighed her hunting drive. A few more steps and she was close enough to bite. She let out a warm huff of breath on his leg and looked up to him. Now it was. Carefully, she widened her jaw and sunk her teeth into his leg. The taste of blood on her tongue wasn’t unfamiliar. She backed away slowly, not wanting to hurt him. Staying close for too long with the taste of blood on her lips was a dangerous game to play. She could see the grimace of pain on his face and let it be her grounding point. With slow even breaths, she focused on shifting back into the form Ace was more familiar with.

As soon as he’d said the word and Ariana began to approach, Sammy was not sure he was ready. Sitting down like this, not to make too fine of a point of it, but his neck was maw height. This was fine, it was the right choice, Sammy chanted to himself over and over again, inside his head. He dug his fingers into the ground, bracing himself against the tree roots. Her hot breath rolled over his thigh, raising goosebumps along his skin. He watched her, as if preparing for it would help it hurt less. He was wrong. His muscle jolted as she bit down, until his skin gave way and blood welled around his teeth. He was transfixed, unable to move, this couple second bite stretching into a minute in his mind. As she let go, and stepped back, he bit down on this inside of his cheeks, groaning deeply. Blood ran down his leg and into this forest floor. The groan turned into a yell, and a barely withheld scream as he clutched his thigh. The scream was over as quickly as the bite, but fuck, it hurt. He looked back up at Ari, and forgot to be bashful about the nudity thing. “Is- Is that it? Am I- Can you tell?”

As she shifted back into her more human form, she winced slightly at the sound of his scream. Ariana knew it would hurt, but she had done her best to be gentle, not that it was 100% possible. As much was evident by the blood still on her chin. She used the back of her forearm to wipe it off and quickly rushed over to Ace. “I’m sorry, fuck, I know that had to hurt. Are you okay,” she asked as she fumbled to remove the first aid stuff from her backpack forgetting in that moment that she was still nude. When she remembered, her cheeks slightly flushed pink and she quickly grabbed her hoodie to throw on. Once it was on and she was mostly covered for the moment, she quickly pressed gauze against the wound and applied some pressure. “That’s it,” she answered though she hadn’t actually done this before, “I’ll need to meet you before sunset for the next full moon. We’re going to want to go pretty deeply out in the wounds.” She grabbed one of the sanitizing wipes and warned, “This is going to sting, I’m sorry.” She wiped away some of the blood and dirt to prevent infection though his immune system would likely be stronger now.

Sammy smiled at her weakly, looking at the small amount of his blood still smeared on her face even though she’d tried to wipe most of it off. “Yeah. Yeah. I kinda… forgot? It would hurt? Nnng-” He groaned through gritted teeth. He looked away as she pulled her hoody on, and winced as she started treating him. “Okay. Okay. Yeah, a few hours before sunset. I’ll work out how to get out earlier, give us enough time to-you know, find some deer to kill.” He braced against the tree again, and yelled as the sanitising wiped burned his skin. “Ow! Yep, yep, the stinging, that’s happening. I- wow. Mmm, that really hurts.” He shifted uneasily, but didn’t look away from her. “I don’t, uh, feel any different. Minus the dozen extra holes, obviously.”

Ariana worked carefully and did her best to be gentle with him. She’d already caused him enough pain and as much made her stomach turn. “I’m sorry,” she said softly as she gave him a moment to steady himself. Even while in pain, he somehow still managed to hold on to his sense of humor. She let out a small laugh and agreed, “Yeah, something like that. I want to make sure we’re far away from people and hunters before we change. It’s kind of nice to watch the sunset before, too.” A big part of her was nervous. Taking him under her metaphorical was no small feat and she was determined to do right by her. This would save him and he wouldn’t end up hating her for it. She’d been so sure before, but somehow Alcher’s warning rang in her mind now. The last thing she wanted was Ace to hate her, but she’d rather he’d hate her and be alive than the alternative. She frowned a bit as he cried out in pain. “I’m almost done,” she assured before finally wrapping it in a bandage. “You won’t feel different until the full moon, but you’re pretty much a guaranteed wolf now.” She pulled an apple out of her bag and handed it to him. “Here, eat this,” she instructed, “You’ve lost a bit of blood.”

“Watching the sunset sounds amazing. We can hang out and see each other properly, and stuff.” As she pulled out the bandage, Sammy lifted his leg up so she could wrap him up more easily. “You know, you looked so badass as a wolf.” He told her earnestly, with a bit of a silly smile now that the terror was mostly gone. Sammy took a deep shaky breath as she let go, and he carefully lowered his leg back down onto the forest floor. “Which is in a week, right? September 30th? Wow, it’s really not that long anymore.” He’d be freer than he’d been in years. Taking the apple, Sammy smiled widely. “Yes ma’am,” he replied with a teasing wink. He took the apple and bit into it, trying to feel around in himself. He tried to crush the apple in his hand, but no luck. It didn’t even squish, so no super strength yet. “Hey, Ari? Come sit with me?”

“That does sound pretty great,” Ariana agreed as she kept her eyes on him and tried to gauge how he was feeling physically. She hated that she caused him any pain, but she truly believed this was going to make things better for him. Ace still seemed a bit shaky though she noticed his heartbeat wasn’t nearly as rapid as before which meant he was relaxing a bit. As much brought her a sense of relief. She smiled a bit at him calling her badass. “Thanks, I’m sure you’ll look pretty badass as a wolf, too,” she commented. The full moon would be upon them before they knew it and he’d be truly free. As much sent a surge of excitement through her, but she did her best to contain. “Yep,” she answered, “September 30th. It’ll be here quickly. It’ll take awhile before you’re able to remember what happened during it, but I’ll be looking out for you, I promise.” She meant as much and gave him a meaningful look as he asked her to join him. “Of course,” she answered as she lowered herself on the ground next to him. She studied him carefully and noticed that even under the pale light of the half moon, he looked paler somehow. Probably from the blood loss, but still, this was the most at ease she’d felt in a while. She placed her hand on his arm and asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, nah, I’m going to be the scruffy, gangly looking one with hair growing in all the wrong directions,” Sammy replied with a laugh, trying to imagine it. In a week, they wouldn’t have to. She would know, and be able to tell it. He looked at the bandage, and what he knew was under there.”I trust you. No matter what I remember, I know you will keep me safe.” Although, the idea of not remembering any of it? Fairly freak some. “How am I feeling?” Sammy looked down at his leg, trying to work all that out for himself. It felt like there were spiders crawling under his skin. He wanted to jump up and do things, but he also felt… breakable? Like thin clay in the kiln, ready to crack under the slightest pressure. “Well, my leg hurts. I think it’s going to be worse tomorrow. I feel…. I’ve got all this… adrenaline, you know? We’ve been talking about this so long, and then I couldn’t last month, and now it’s happening. Like total point of no return. I dunno, I feel excited, and scared, with a whole lot of happy sprinkled on top.” He smiled at her, munching on his apple. “This feels right. Like we were meant to meet, and keep finding each other, or something.”

Ariana shook her head and laughed, “Somehow I doubt that, but even if you do end up being a gangly werewolf, I’ll still think you’re cool.” It was hard to imagine what he’d look like though she was curious. Layla sort of matched her hair color, she wondered if Ace would be the same. She knew her wolf coat was more gray and white which didn’t match her everyday hair color, but she tended to blend in well with her surroundings which made sneaking up on her prey easier. Werewolf genetics were a mystery to her. She swallowed back the lump forming in her throat as he expressed how much he trusted her. She hoped like hell this was the right call. All things considered, she was terrified of making a choice that could get him hurt or cost him his life. She did know she’d fight for him every step of the way. “I will, I’ll always be looking out for you, Ace.” She gave his hand a squeeze before she studied him as he looked at his leg. She could pick up on the extra energy, but it was best for him to rest. All that energy would get to come out on the full moon. “Yeah, it’ll probably be sore tomorrow. You should probably take it easy until the full moon though, let yourself heal,” she explained. She wished there was a less painful way to go about this though the last part brought a smile to her face. “I’m glad you’re happy. The other stuff is all normal. But I agree,” she looked up at him with her lips pulled upward in a grin as she spoke, “I think we were meant to find each other. Even if you’ve never been able to tell me much about yourself, I’ve always felt like it’s easy to connect with you.” She gave his hand another squeeze. It felt important that he knew all of this, knew she really did have his back through everything that was to come.

“It’s sore right now! But you’re right. I'll do my best to look after it.” But there was a hard limit in that. He couldn’t let anyone know he was hurt, so he had to act as if he wasn’t hurt at all. He could start some bigger project on the wheel and spend more time sitting like that, but still… oh well! Sammy grinned at her through the dark, his cheeks flushing a little at the compliment. “You’re like, one of the best friends I’ve ever had. Growing up, I kinda grew up in on between two worlds. Like, not enough of one thing or another, so it wasn’t easy. Even in… uh, well. What I’m saying is. Thank you? For being my friend. I can’t wait to be… less batman like, with you. Or like, fine out how being a werewolf changes me. I always kinda think of them as being charismatic, maybe some of that will rub off on me, you know?” He teased, ribbing her slightly. Sammy finished his apple, sticking the apple sticker on her arm before throwing the apple core deep into the forest.

“Good, gotta have my favorite guy in tip top shape,” Ariana joked now that she was feeling a bit lighter and playfully nudged his arm. This was a big change, but she could do this. Ace placed his trust in her and she wasn’t going to let him down. As he spoke, she felt a small smile creep up on her face. It meant the world to her that he considered her one of his best friends and she definitely felt the same. While their secret meetings in the middle of the night were far from ideal, she’d grown to look forward to them. “You’re one of mine, too. I don’t know exactly what you mean, but I think I get it. I was a werewolf raised by a hunter, so very in between two worlds that I’m still trying to figure out how to bring together. You don’t have to thank me, you’ve been here when I needed you, too. That’s what friends are for. I will say I look forward to learning more about you though,” she gave him a meaningful gaze as she spoke, “I’m not sure we’re all charismatic, but I think some of my charm will wear off on you.” She laughed as he stuck the apple sticker on her arm and added, “Even if it doesn’t, I like you just the way you are.”

#wickedswriting #i'll make a wolf out of you #sammy #ace #abuse tw #medical blood tw

12 notes · View notes

bladekindeyewear · 5 years

Text

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 5 - Meat Page 7

==>

Okay, time for Rose and Dirk to talk delicious politics or something.

Heh, customary show-end riots.

Rose, stop causing all of us undue alarm.

Ascending? Is she going to fade out into a concept or something???

Oh shit, Dirk’s doing something similar. Some sort of inevitability once God-Tier is reached or some such.

Dirk has a solution to the problem in the works. That’s... well, Rose already cautioned that that could be ominous. I hope it doesn’t involve decapitation. Or robot bodies, or turning her into an omniscient cueball or something.

==>

Okay, stage play time. I can see a weird-seeming text color choice for Caliborn down below, hm. Time to read down to there...

Ah, the classic finale-callback thumbs down. Nice.

...yeah, reinforcing the point he was trying to make a little less explicitly with his earlier finale of Homestuck that Lord English had really just, sort of, trapped them in this narrative that their ultimate reward would be to escape, realizing it never really mattered too much compared to their own long lives and happiness or something.

==>

Epilogue TWO?????? D:

Okay now it’s, like, Andrew commenting isn’t it.

Oh shit, it DOES suck them up and trap them? Huh. That explains how Jade was dealt with, I’d forgotten. Also because it was one of the huge goddamn unanswered fucking hugepoints that made it seem like a slap in the face when we were told it didn’t matter and-- yeah okay let me just keep reading.

Huh, broken glasses.

And, phew; the ages it takes is from an OUTSIDE perspective. Let’s see what it is from an inside perspective...

==>

Jaaaane!!! :D

Okay let’s read about Janey.

Mhmm, that’s not that surprising... Dirk knew that Karkat was going to run against Jane, but Jane didn’t, even though Dirk was ostensibly “working” for her. There’s definitely a plan here. Maybe it involves Jane and Karkat smooching publicly at the end. ...No, that’s just my wishful imagination talking, isn’t it.

Oh my god she’s screaming into a pillow at hearing she has competition. That’s adorable.

YES, JANE. UNDERESTIMATE KARKAT. YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE (though probably platonically). It does upset me that they’ve taken this long to really get acquainted, though; I’ve argued for years that their personalities are naturally compatible as the straight men for all their friends’ bullshit.

In fact, Jane is pretty sure that Karkat Vantas would probably literally burst into flame if too many people happened to look at him at the same time, like a vampire walking out into the sun.

Yes, but he’d get over it. And be a flaming president or something.

In fact, Jane cannot remember a single conversation she’s ever had with him that wasn’t about the economy. She thinks back to one time at John’s eighteenth birthday when Dave engaged her in a rigorous and rather one-sided debate about deregulation and the failure of “neoliberal austerity measures” until Karkat had to come over and put his hands over his roommate’s mouth to make him stop talking.

Oh my FUCKING god, it’s true. Dave’s appropriately liberal in the modern, Krugman-esque, statistically grounded way. Karkat has my vote already.

She’d be happy to accept a graceful, temporary defeat and let Karkat play president for a couple of years. After all, unlike her, he was not immortal.

Hey fuck you. Also, why the FUCK haven’t they used one of the myriad likely ways to extend Karkat’s lifespan basically indefinitely yet??? Heck, JANE could probably do it with Life powers if she crawled back out of her own butt! We already know the Condesce could extend other trolls’ lifespans with weird troll powers so Life powers are almost certainly enough to suffice. >:(

Ohhh, so maybe Jane is just, like... slightly traumatized by trolls? And thus a little tiny bit predisposed against trusting them cause of the Condesce? :(

Interesting how she views her past reliance on / pursuance of Jake as something that made her “weak” specifically.

Okay, I’m getting a slightly uncomfortable vibe that Jane is willing to almost play at seduction with Jake falsely to get his endorsement on--

And she’s willing to do more than that, too.

Okay FUCK, JANE. GET YOURSELF UNDER CONTROL. I’m starting to believe the shittalking the others have given about you! You’d better shape up by the end of this epilogue or what have you.

==>

Okay, trapped John can hear the other three through the walls of their prison or something.

Conversation and musings, conversation and musings.....

Wait, Jade LIVES with Dave and Karkat in that SAME HOUSE and they didn’t even mention it??!?? What is even up with their thing.

Heh, John’s thinking he really could have used a nice kismesis riling him up to better himself. That’s what they’re for, really.

There there, John.

==>

Oh my fucking GOD, Jane rolls with supply side economics??? TAKE. HER. DOWN.

And Jade is just... here? Huh.

Yeah they DEFS weren’t listening.

JADE: especially when JADE: there are much better things we could all be doing with our mouths.....

HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. JADE IS SO INTO EITHER OF THEM THAT THEY CAN’T TAKE IT, CAN THEY. THAT’S FUCKING AMAZING OH MY GOD

Her tail swishes from side to side

SINCE WHEN DOES SHE HAVE A FUCKING TAIL HOW IS THAT SUDDENLY CANON

I’M NOT MAD IM JUST SURPRISED

Wasn’t that something that the ask-responses from Andrew said she canonically DIDN’T have or what the fuck

Since I guess it wasn’t confirmed IN CANON he just decided he liked it enough to offer it here or???? I DON’T KNOW????

Wow why am I all worked up by this all of a sudden. It’s just transferring from her earlier line isn’t it.

three of her bras

Okay no nevermind Andrew’s just fucking with us.

...Even though this can probably still be considered canon. Which only makes how he’s fucking with us work even better, really. I mean, why WOULDN’T he lob this at us on the ten year anniversary and watch us squirm, really. There’s no incentive not to.

--oh wait wait never mind reading further these are just bras from different days she threw over the couch. PHEW. I thought for a second that we were dealing with dog anatomy stuff that would REQUIRE multiple bras on her. Jesus. I wonder if Andrew intentionally phrased things so some people would think that for a minute.

JADE: also you know trolls dont actually have two dicks dave thats an offensive stereotype

Pffffff

Wait, is it that Dave and Karkat’s relationship isn’t quite full-hearts sexual and Jade is incessantly shipping them?? :O

because that’d be hilarious too?? --*reads*

YESSSS JADE BEING SUPER STAT WHIZ WITH HER SUPER PARTOMNIDOG SPACE BRAIN YES

The thing about Jade Harley is that she’s not as good at personal things as she is at other things. Like science, or mastering fraymotifs, or kissing, the last of which she has definitely put a lot of levels into over the past few years because, well, what else are you supposed to do with immortal godhood once you hit the age where the dog hormones start kicking into overdrive?

f uck

dog hormones

i’m wheezing

Alright, Jade’s springing a thorough relationship talk on them. That’s cool. Also she’s throwing statistics in there and I LOVE that now that Jade is older we’re reinforcing just how scary science smart she is, I can’t wait to see other people roleplaying her properly because of it too.

...Yeah Jade would definitely date a chess couple

Jade sighs and crawls closer. She takes one of Karkat’s hands in hers.

JADE: i think wed all work good together

AAAAAAAA :D :D :D

JADE: and i think weve been dancing around that for years now JADE: i wanna try dating for real KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY TOTALLY BLOWS YOUR MIND KARKAT: DATING A SINGLE PERSON, FOR MORE THAN HALF A SWEEP, FOR REASONS OTHER THAN INITIATING THE CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS?

PFFFFFFFFFFFFF OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS PERFECT

Jade being

literally the thirstiest person in this ENTIRE CAST OF CHARACTERS

to the point that everyone’s calling her out on it

in something that’s virtually goddamn canon

holy fucking shit I love everything. I love life. Living in a universe where this hilarious shit happens is fun.

....pFFFF JADE DIDN’T KNOW OBAMA WAS REAL THIS IS AMAZING

Ooh, dueling god-tier powers for petty reasons.

OH NO DICK DRAWINGS ARE LIKELY IMMINENT

THAT OR A CHART

OR BOTH

...yeah her hair would get everywhere, wouldn’t it.

yes make fun of ship names some more

What Jade leaves in her wake is not quite the emotional scorched-earth situation that she was going for, but a few of her needles have definitely gotten under some skin. Dave and Karkat both stare after her, silently caught in their own private rationalization spirals.

So this whole time Jade’s been all “JUST KISS ALREADY” and they’ve been all “what no” and now she’s just laid it all out in the open and left them to it. Yeah that sounds about like what would’ve happened.

Aaaand of course, since this is Dave and Karkat, they just choose to stall some more and play video games. Jade really DOES complete this relationship with her pushing them to accept reality and stop downplaying their own feelings and self-esteem and all. But that’s what I thought would happen BEFORE I even read any epilogue stuff so I’m biased.

==>

Pff, Vriska time.

You’ve now got two bitches of either gender at your side

Vriska, shame! Don’t use that kind of language!!

Yep, this version of her didn’t learn her lesson and is still pretty much completely delusional.

Alright, Real Terezi™ is still flying out in the abyss trying to scoop Vriska out of this jam, cool, cool.

Flailing and spinning, screaming, not being able to see the final event or whatever-- someone save her already we know it’s gonna happen!

JOHN: Emerge from the juju.

Oh. Well, that’s uncomfortably in line with earlier presumably-discredited theories. About John saving Vriska from the black hole the Green Sun left in its wake and all. :|

Yawns too wide and snaps in half? The moment he was dreaming about?

==>

Oh hai Jake. This really IS the perfect time to get to see some attempted-exploitative discomfort between Jane and you. I mean that! The narrative timing is pretty hilarious.

The sunset has turned the head offices of Crockercorp into a shimmering glass monolith—a beacon, if you will, of the future, visible for miles in every direction.

Jane probably likes to think about it that way at least.

Wow, Jane REALLY sounds like she needs to be knocked down a peg or seven.

The whole place is candlelit, and Jane is reclining on her desk, sprawled out like a lounge singer on a grand piano.

OH MY FUCKING GOD JANE STOP BEING A SLIMEBAG!!!! D: D: D:

Thank you, Jake, for coming through and tanking this.

This is not really the kind of conversation you initiate if you’re looking to extract a sexual deal out of someone. It is, however, the kind of conversation that you might have with a childhood friend who has become somewhat emotionally estranged from you.

THANK FUCKING GOD. Jane has been saved from herself for the moment.

Okay I see a whole bunch of paragraphs of black text down below just as these two are likely coming together for a kiss. Uh oh.

...Yep, kiss there. And, uh...

Okay whew, most of it is Jake privately soliloquy-ing to the narrative about the circumstances leading up to this. I can deal with that.

...Oh my god he keeps thinking of Dirk while getting in close to Jane. This is gonna blow up in his face isn’t it.

Reading on....

--Ah, yeah, he just realizes he’s more into Dirk I guess. Ouch. Ouch, Jane.

DIRK: Were you nice to him? JANE: Well, I... DIRK: I told you, you can’t be nice to Jake. JANE: ...

PPFffffffffff

DIRK: Why don’t you leave Jake to me?

Now ain’t that telling?

Ooh, getting down to plot business with Rose.

==>

Back to John. I see a bit that says “Listen” there, is he going to hear Vriska screaming? Or is Terezi going to pick her up? Since, like, I mean she has the jetpack and has been searching for her longer and stuff.

Yep, big ol’ LE tantrum. Though alt!Calliope seems at least as much at fault for the end of the universe as him, if not moreso.

Ah, right, Andrew wanted us to THINK he’d hear Vriska screaming just so he could troll us like that. Makes more sense, anyway.

Huh, the Juju just pops away.

OW. Down a spare Rose, just like that, huh? Probably part of why main Rose knew what the plan was supposed to be for all this.

Ah right, can’t use your Green Sun powers here, Jade.

OW. Another quasi-doomed side-character death.

Yep, you have to make a tough, leaderly decision and let go. :C --Oh crap, you saved her body. Are you gonna put the ring there or what, I’m not sure where that’s going plotways.

Pff, the whole fight going south just due to John losing his glasses... that’s pretty funny from a perspective.

Oh huh, real ghost Tavros gets nuked.

Oh shit, Meenah’s going in! Don’t die, I actually care about this version of you!!

--Ah, thrown out and fate unclear, that’s a bit better than clear death.

Hm, Davepeta vs English round two? I wonder what the purpose of all of this really is, anyway, beyond just a sense that some only implied-wrapped-up things are being actually wrapped up? This whole Meat arc? Is Candy going to be ultimately more important to everyone, as was part of the point, or? Huhhm.

Final Round!!

Hammer buffet!

Slight obligatory feelings allusion via hammer!

Oh no! VORE!!! D:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < wrow you almost got vored to death

Phew, avoided

Ow, another decapitation. There’s a killing blow and being trapped forever in a black hole for LE to look forward to, though. Weren’t there theories about him being trapped forever at the center of that black hole or whatever? Huh. I mean there WAS the garbage disposal that his metaphorical Jigsaw-head gets stuck in early in the comic after all.

Alright, Davepeta sticks him in there? Cool.

Yeah, you just had to remind us that he’s going to be plunging into his dead sister’s gaping hole, didn’t you? >:|

Davepeta. How they were so unfettered and brave. How they sacrificed themselves by flying right into the black hole like...

Like a fucking piece of garbage, you can almost hear Dave saying. May God rest his soul.

Yup. Closing another callback. Why is it silent, though? Did the black hole stop sucking now that it’s gotten almost everything but John, or is it just his blackout? I mean, is the end of everything just a thing that “happens” (which is still pretty fine, Paradox Space had a pretty good run), or did it just stop, or is it yet to be resolved or re-John-creates-Paradox-Space’s-beginning-because-hes-the-only-thing-left-constituted if he inexplicably doesn’t die from his heroic wounds or? And Terezi definitely didn’t go flying around Paradox Space’s dying remains just to get sucked in too, right? I definitely haven’t seen the whole picture yet I guess.

==>

Alright, back to Rose... actually this post’s getting long so I’ll cut here and keep going in another post.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

27 notes · View notes