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warsamongthestars · 1 year

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A LOVE LETTER

I think after a certain point, one must search their feelings (You know this to be true), look deep inside themselves, face their Shadow (I AM THE SHADOW THE TRUE SELF), and come to one’s personal understanding of themselves and their limits.

And when the limit has been reached.

So let’s talk Bad Batch. I’m going to be mean to this show. And I guarantee, this is going to feel like whiplash. So get yer big gulps and your happy meals, we’re in for a ride.

I will not lie. Watching the Bad Bach is exhausting to me. It is painful to go through each episode, and this feeling of painful exhaustion and impatience didn’t go away.

Well if its so painful, why are you still watching?

Because I love the boys. The Bad Batch was the first set of characters I saw across the room, and by the rules of narrative causality, it was love at first sight.

Hunter, the cool and calmed headed leader with the unique abilities.

Wrecker, loud and emotionally honest, a joy in bombastics (literally) who’s first reaction is to always defend his brothers.

Tech, precise professional and intelligent, always on the curve to learn and understand, and then be able to perform afterwards.

Crosshair, perceptive, witty and sharp tongued, who hits the heart of the situation whether anyone wants it or not.

And finally, Echo, oh, Echo, who was with us since the beginning, brought back from the brink to continue the journey. Clever, and snarky Echo, strongest soul of them all.

The idea that they were getting a series was amazing, because we would have adventures with the Bad Batch, and we’d get to experience and learn and see so much.

By all accounts, it shouldn’t hurt.

But isn’t that exactly what we got?

Not... really.

When I said The Bad Batch, I meant, all of them. What did Episode 1 do? Remove Crosshair from the equation and make him a bad guy.

Broken Promise 1: Adventures with the Whole Team.

But he was a Jerk, so it was obvious he’d be the evil guy. Didn’t you hear what he said about Echo?

Uh huh. Its by this point of this metaphorical questioning that I point out that I’m a Homestuck fan, I read the whole thing (and or had it read to me--thank you Let’s Reads--its a huge fucking webcomic, what do we expect?)

Homestuck is explicitly a deconstruction and reconstruction of Characters and Environments and Stories and Plots and everything in between. Its the Good Spice.

With that as the example, you honestly think I haven’t heard worse from more beloved characters? Frankly if you’re put off by that, you would have never survived Karkat Vantas, the most beloved and harmless character in the whole of Homestuck.

Let’s get back on topic.

But we still got the Adventures of the Bad Batch!

We got Johnny Quest in Star Wars, pal.

I ain’t saying that’s a bad thing, Johnny Quest was a very remembered show (parodied in many series, with the the Venture Bros being outright and explicit about it--that’s how loved it was)

But Kid Sidekick who’s super special awesome being protecc’d by the quote “good” members of the super special awesome team, is basically how you jump the shark in most series.

Now Omega isn’t that bad, she’s better written that most (for one thing, she’s an actual kid that brings in trouble actual kids would bring in combat and survival situations like hers). But the role she fills is not a new role, its in fact a role that historically been hated since Television started. She’s not the new Robin to Batman here.

Because there is no Batman.

What does Batman have to do with the Bad Batch?

He doesn’t, but the story archetype highlights some problems with the BBs. First and foremost, in order to have Robin, you have to Establish Batman.

And the Bad Batch, are not established.

Lemme explain why.

Batman’s main motivation is that his parents were murdered in an alleyway in front of him as a child, and he grew up with the conviction that no other child should experience that again. You see his aesthetic, you see his home, how he grows, and then you get Robin.

Its a basic premise that boarders on cliche now, by every show, book, and most DnD sessions.

But it does its job, it establishes a character with history and motivations, and leaves room for how that character reached the point where they could do something for their goals, and what they do whilst accomplishing their goal. Their goal may never be fullfilled, but that’s the point, it makes stories and we might just learn something about the reality along the way, or at worse, we get entertained, or at better, we get inspired to make our stories and maybe we nail the lessons the originals didn’t, or we simply inspire or entertain others.

Now then...

Showing up for a pinpoint mission on a nowhere planet to save someone who’s survival was contrived at best because main character said so, is not an introduction to a character. Its the introduction to a series, like how every 70s-80s shows used to do in shows that were popular.

So its understandable that the Clone Wars show doesn’t do that, because TCWs is not about the Bad Batch.

... But the Bad Batch series stills fails.

But it doesn’t have to be perfect.

The act of not being perfect is exactly what we want, actually.

Perfection means universal, for example, we as living things all require subsistence, that is a universal thing. Just as death is inevitable, thus universal. This is the state of “perfection”, because they are infallible and unchangeable aspects and they are free of flaw and defect in their function.

Perfection is already achieved. Now we’re simply finding ways to be interestingly and fallibly imperfect that impacts us enough to find our own “perfection”. (For individuals know their fallibility, and finding where our foundation (the center of perfection in all things--that is, the soul) lies is our journey--that is the act of achieving perfection, and it will always be individual and as individual beings, it will incomprehensible to anyone else, this is the act of synchronicity).

But now that I’ve broken existence, let’s get back to Star Wars before reality crashes and I have to go back to another save point. (Damn it Todd Howard).

And I love the characters. I’m going to be mean.

How the hell does the Bad Batch series fail?

Its their series and it should be about them, and its not.

Of course its about them!

Being the center piece of the show does not mean the show is about you. Just as being the Player Character of the Video Game doesn’t mean the game is about you at all, its often about the characters you encounter or the missions you go on.

What makes them tick and talk, what’s their history, why do they do things?

None of this is established. The closest we got is “We’re soldiers this is what we do” and “Because we’re better” or “Because we’re different”

And those are not motivations. Those are excuses.

All that this has established is that the Bad Batch started their history the moment they were introduced to the Clone Wars BB Arc.

And that means that this is Plot-Driven, and it was never about the characters, we just have center pieces with a few quirks but ultimately anyone could’ve filled in their shoes.

We could replace them with the Millennium Falcon, and have the Original Trilogy Crew perform these feats, and frankly that’d be more interesting and considerably less painful. We could even replace Crosshair’s role with a Stormtrooper (The one super special awesome show-writer OC that becomes the Main Characters’ best friend and companion and gets lots of screen time), and that would be more interesting and less painful.

... And that hypothetical gives pretty concrete evidence that the Bad Batch Series is not about the Bad Batch. Character-center episodes can be too easily replaced or character moments are too rushed through or insignificant.

Its With the Bad Batch, not About the Bad Batch.

Broken Promise 2: Its about the Bad Batch.

The Bad Batch Characters are all cliche action hero tropes anyway.

You’re not wrong. And the thing about not being wrong here, is that we know what the good shit looks like.

Hunter is the worst one here, and the best example. He’s basically every 80s action hero in one, and y’know, not being very original is fine.

There’s only three things in human history that can truly fall under the definition of Original, and that’s “Space-Travel, Nuclear Power, and the Internet”, and that’s because these things are less than century old in comparison to Humanity’s thousands of years.

So Hunter being a collection of cliches is not a bad thing. You can spin that really well, actually. The problem is, they don’t. He’s “The Leader” who “looks like a Biker” and “Does things because the Plot is actually about his Kid”.

If I wanted that specifically, I’d play Silent Hill again, because Harry Mason has all those traits, and he’s a lot more interesting.

The Environment and Circumstance and the Challenges he faces, show’s Harry’s character.

Its already long established what Hunter is, what Hunter is is not in question.

But Omega is the main character in comparison to Hunter.

Hunter is meant to be an Action Hero, but he has none of the pitfalls the 80s action hero does. He’s not challenged about being a Soldier, he’s not challenged (On-Screen) about how he leads the Batch, he is simply vaguely challenged when encountering Omega.

Hunter is challenged for his Role in the Plot, as the Leader who Looks like a Biker and Does Things Because the Plot is Actually About his Kid. He’s not challenged on screen enough for that character to make a significant difference to what is presented.

I think I talked about having stuff on screen before.

I can name two characters that do exactly what Hunter does, to show that you can, in fact, write a character who is a series of cliches anyway into a memorable character inspite of that.

Solid Snake, from the Metal Gear Solid series.

And

Geralt of Rivia, from the Witcher Series.

Or the ultimate example...

The Boss, from Metal Gear Solid 3.

They go through similar or the same challenges, they have an connection with parenthood and with being a solider; two have been main characters, while one is a mentor figure, and they roughly follow the same ideas found in Star Wars (because Star Wars, by this point, has highly influenced all media across many cultures).

Can you fucking imagine what it would’ve been like if we got Solid Fucking Snake in Star Wars? With all of Metal Gear Solid’s philosophy stuffs? Imagine having a philosophical soldier that deconstructs and reconstructs the ideas of the Jedi, the greater galaxy and the Force.

While we obviously can’t just copy-paste characters here (even though that’s exactly what they did, given that Hunter is Billy from Predator, and the leader from the A-Team) The interpretation of the character by a writer makes a new character, because our interpretation will always differ from the personal interpretation of the original creator.

I don’t think Hunter was intended to mimic these characters at all, but repeated patterns say that he’s following their footsteps... but unlike the examples above, he’s not quite making the same impact. Or any.

... This isn’t broken promise level though. There wasn’t anything that established that Hunter should be Solid Fucking Snake of Rivia in Star Wars.

But the inspirations could’ve spiced him up a bit. He is like a sugar sandwich, cmissing a lot of ingredients.

You just pointed out that there are better things out there, why not go to them instead?

I am alive and I will make it everybody’s problem.

And I am doing this because I love the characters.

Because when you love something, you go those extra miles. Hell, you make the whole damn road yours.

I’m very confused.

So I’ll sum up what I got so far, given that this is very long already. The series is not about the Bad Batch, its a Star Wars series that’s With the Bad Batch bits attached.

There’s already one flat character, and he’s the leader (not really a good thing in a Five Man Band situation).

The series has already broken two promises to its name. Its not about the Bad Batch, and we’re not going on adventures with the Full Bad Batch.

But it is the Bad Batch series, and we’re clearly following their adventures. Its about the Bad Batch.

A series about a character follows a simple idea of breaking that character down to the audience. It doesn’t have to literally break the character to do this, though it can.

What does that involve? It involves History, it involves Communication on Screen, Aesthetics and Personality.

It has Personality and Aesthetics. Most of the Bad Batch have very strong, distinct personalities and aesthetics, and imply a lot of history, and that’s what catches attention. That’s good.

The flaw is the failure of the rest.

So you might wonder, what the ever loving fuck am I talking about?

Well I’ve already gone on a thing about communication-on-screen. Its not enough to hold a series about characters by implication alone. This is not an ARG to be solved, this is a story being honestly told.

There is no Communication-on-Screen to tell the audience that shit is going down on any deep level. The BBs do not talk to each other.

That leads to the next flaw.

Their lack of history.

The sum of Star Wars lore regarding the clones is that they were commissioned after a genetic plate (the prime) to be created en mass to serve as a disposable Army for the Republic in 10 years. They are genetically modified to withstand the baseline requirements for space and planetary war, and those who exceed that baseline become Commanders and Commandos. Those that met certain criteria fill ranks such as Medics, Divers, Engineers, Hackers, ecctra.

This is already a good base of history here. You can do a lot with this.

The Bad Batch differ in that they were purposely mutated away from being the genetic baseline, what was modified is shone in the skillset or abilities of each Batchmember.

Which is fine, that’s how you get the Audience thinking.

But the show goes no further.

Do they honestly have to?

If you want a series about them, yes.

Some topics involved with the above, yes, you don’t want to get into, or you simply want to leave it in the air to be pieced together in environments that can handle those topics.

For example, there’s no good way to bring up that Clones are meant to be the “Disposable Generations”. Its there, Star Wars doesn’t ignore it, but it doesn’t talk about it. Because the Clone Wars series and the Bad Batch are meant to be Kid Shows, and topics of disregarding vast majority of people through discrimination to the point where people lose their lives to the whims the small-mindedly powerful, is a heavy topic. Worse if you’re literally creating / breeding humans to be disregarded and disposed of, speaks of a horrific mentality of eugenics.

And that’s heavy, and its horror, and its moral insanity. And If it wasn’t Star Wars, that right there would take up the entire series, and it sure as hell wouldn't be for kids.

Because its the kind of thing that you don’t sit down and accept.

But this is Star Wars, and the only way to accept it, is to not talk about it.

So what can we talk about? The characters who lived in those conditions, and how.

Back to the Bad Batch.

So, the Bad Batch has no History?

If they did, then every argument with Crosshair about his chip would’ve worked.

And this was even seen in Star Wars proper too.

In the final episode, the Finale, of The Clone Wars. Ahsoka Tano is attacked by those who know she left the Jedi Order, and that she isn’t a “Jedi”, and that Order 66 should only be about Jedi.

But that’s either not true, which would involve the clones hunting everybody done and that’s no good, or its based on perception.

It alters Perception based on the individual’s point of view.

Just because Ahsoka isn’t a Jedi, doesn’t mean the Clones stopped viewing her as a Jedi. They respect her as a Jedi, and that’s why they hunt her, even knowing that she isn’t technically affiliated with the Jedi anymore and is probably just GAR command now.

If the Bad Batch had history, there would’ve been more. They’re the outsiders who have banded together and work flawlessly together. You don’t get that without having some deep history, understanding, and loyalty to each other.

It would, by all established accounts, been simple to argue Crosshair back into the Batch, because clearly his chip didn’t work as intended. (Its not like Wrecker’s, which just blocked Wrecker out entirely. When Cross was with his Batch, his personality was clear, it was only when he is removed that he loses to the chip).

But they had no history. The implications of them being that team, failed entirely. This is where the flaws set in as gorged holes in their character and their series.

And in a series about them, character history would’ve been the simplest, easiest focus. In fact, that’s often the core component in a series about a specific person or set of persons. You don’t make a show, for example, about Abraham Lincoln being a Vampire Hunter, without making it very much about Abraham Lincoln’s history.

And that’s the bit. No real communication outside of dramatics, or the kid being the main plot figure. No history to rely on when stones fall. The characters were dressed up, implied a whole lot of stuff, and when push came to shove, it faltered, and it fails.

Echo has history!

Echo does, yes.

And they never touch it.

We never see him get confronted with his PTSD. They did once, in episode 1, then never again.

We never see closure between him and the memory of Fives, or confront his past about Domino Squad. Or the Techno Union.

The one time he’s finally with Rex, and not a single thing is talked about that isn’t the Plot at hand.

Echo is one of our Audience surrogates, specifically for Clones. He’s gone through so much, he has every right and need to talk about it for both himself as a character, and for the Audience...

... And then he doesn’t.

And the limit is reached.

You’ve gone on this tangent regarding finding a some personal limit, but this hasn’t had any limits at all!

I should probably get to the point about that, huh?

My limit?

Is that they killed Tech.

Limit broke.

What, but you’ve already made posts and comments about how he’s not dead!

I have, and I’d like to think so for all the historic evidence entailed, he isn’t dead.

... But I have to face the reality of the situation.

The reality is, is that the Bad Batch is a 3-Season series that’s not likely to be renewed, though if the characters survive, they are likely to make an appearance in other shows or media (and probably die in them instead).

That season 3 isn’t until next year, and since no evidence was shown that Tech is explicitably alive, then we have to keep the assumption that Tech’s Death means he actually died.

Just like with Echo, in Season 3 of Clone Wars. And Echo was dead for Years, before Season 7 came out. And Season 7 came out after a renewal, after three years. By all intents and purposes, Echo was dead. He was dead for Years.

Just because there’s the potential to write in why a character survived impossibility, doesn’t mean they’ll do it or that they’ll do it right. And while we can have hope, life is going to occur between now and Season 3.

Fives didn’t survive, but Rex and Hunter did, and I don’t like those odds.

And we were already working on a broken-promise situation;

Crosshair missing and regulated to be a bad guy with a redemption arc for a situation that wasn’t his fault to start with, with a trust far too easily broken than what is established.

To Hunter who is underdeveloped, underutilized, and even his own comparisons live up better than he does, and who now only revolves around the rest of the Batch.

To Echo who is unexplored inpsite of everything.

To Wrecker, who is often disregarded.

And now they’ve killed Tech.

When it comes to Limits, its the build of many things, and then there’s the moment that breaks the back of the packmule.

Its not the first strike that breaks the boulder, but the 99 strikes before it.

I love these characters. I hate what was done to them. It was painful trying to go through each episode in order to know them, when they’re not all there.

And that’s the ultimate problem in this, isn’t it?

They’re not all there.

... And they may never will be.

I still keep up with the Bad Batch, and I’ll still love Star Wars inspite of its problems. KOTOR and the Original Trilogy are in my heart and always will be. Clone Wars brought life back to me in a difficult time, and I fell hard and fast for the Bad Batch boys.

And the fanfic, and the small niches of fandom, are brilliant, Absolutely brilliant. Even from day one, folks were already making elements that showed what potential could be explored with the Bad Batch and the Clones, and that is beautiful. Wonderful and lovely. I encourage those to keep going.

But those who have made their Bad Batches, those are ultimately their Bad Batches, and not mine. For they are not my interpretations.

And I’m tired, and my experiences and expectations make things a weight on my back, and my back broke. That’s what happens when you’re presented with something you love, and those who presented it ultimately hold the fate of things that you love in their hands, and then you get the letter about how your love isn’t coming home from the war.

This canon is the Bad Batch’s legacy. What we have, is what we got, and my nightmare and fears of my loves being left with less have been fulfilled by canon.

I can’t say it let me down, because my expectations are my own, and no one is beholden to fulfill those expectations (especially since I myself don’t always know my own stuff).

I love these characters. I even identify heavily with a few (but to get into that would be diving too deep into my personal history, and I don’t talk about that, if I can help it).

I am of the audience, but I am not the intended audience, unfortunately. The series through its writing and actions so far, doesn’t really like me back, no matter how much I can say I love the characters.

This... is a love letter to love loss. I love the characters, but its a doomed promise.

This is mine, its not intended to be the reader’s perspective persay, that’s the awkward notion of love letters. They tend to personal. But I may as well lay my grief out plain. Who knows? Maybe someone might get it, maybe not.

But it might just make the difference, for a future untold.

I could be wrong. Maybe the future is brighter. Never know.

#a love letter #star wars #the bad batch #star wars hunter #star wars crosshair #star wars wrecker #star wars tech #clone trooper echo #critical and personal analysis #heavy emphasis on personal expectations

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kierreras · 9 months

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I'm going to defend Jere. He has literally been fighting his deep and very real feelings for Belly since season 1. She broke his heart like worse than most people even realize. They were not on speaking terms that's how bad it was. She's with him and then accidentally kisses Conrad. She goes to tell Jere about it and he's rightfully got the mindset (You're supposed to be my best friend) what the ?! Why are you messing with my heart and feelings? That's why he told her to get out. She continuously tries to get Jere to talk to her after the breakup and then Conrad has the audacity when Jere's dealing with medical bills to ask for his blessing. Why? Because that's how he figured he could possibly try to get over her. Being near Belly when he feels the way he does is too much. Conrad not taking Jere seriously. Rip Susannah but she really fucked them all up good intentioned or not. The mindset of oh it will always be Conrad. Your mom just assuming that was hurtful. The passion mistaken for "lust" bffr no it's on a deeper emotional and intimate level because their foundation is built in friendship. Belly royally fucked up and I get that she's young but damn. So unlikable. The fact that NO ONE thought to think to ask Jere how he felt is fucking insane like he was supposed to be okay with that. Yes, he knew about the crush and feelings but Conrad hadn't actually acted on them. Jere's literally in love with her. He's been feeling tortured from end of season 1 into season 2. Not to mention some people clearly have never been in love with two people at the same time. It's complicated. Belly is truly beyond messy. Everything is disastrous but what happened between her and Jere at the end of the episode was all her. She's been all over him. You can't expect him to not kiss the girl he's actually in love with and his best friend. Now, should it have taken place where it did? Oh hell no. With what she's wearing? No. That blatantly disrespected Conrad. She's the problem. Jere caved but he's not to blame for this. She is. She loves them both but she's not actually in love with Conrad anymore and is guarding her heart from him. She tried to tell him the night before that she's been having intense feelings for Jere, thankfully he fell asleep. I feel for Conrad I do, it's just too little too late. Maybe this reality check will be good for him? Him seeing literal fireworks between those too. He should want that for her because I recall a convo about neither of them not being able to be with someone if there wasn't fireworks. My heart hurts for him but there's no denying she's in love with Jere seemingly too at this point. He did everything he possibly could to resist her. He tried so hard. I'm sorry this is like a novel. Honestly Team Fisher's happiness at this point because What the fuck!

oh, please don't be sorry, it's all okay, i love reading someone's thoughts about those things. and thank you for sending me this! honestly, i wanted to apologise if in some of my previous replies it looked like i'm blaming jeremiah for everything that happened. i actually don't, because all three of them made this situation such a mess. and a little warning, i'm not a jere hater, but i'm not a big fan as well, so i'm somewhere in the middle. i do agree with what you said, jere really tried to fight his feelings for belly and move on, but i don't think that conrad and belly were in the wrongs here too. from their point of view, jeremiah was a golden retriever, a person who has meaningless flings and someone who's just always happy. the biggest issue with all three of them is their lack of communication. we, as viewers, realise that their summer fling with belly meant a lot for jeremiah, but belly doesn't realise it, conrad wasn't even aware of it before him and belly kissed on the beach. they are sixteen and in love, the whole world literally disappears when you're in love, so i think it's understandable that both belly and conrad were not aware how serious everything was for jeremiah. conrad asking jeremiah for blessing was a pretty understandable thing for me. jeremiah didn't tell him how serious he felt towards belly, conrad doesn't know about his feelings. they don't communicate well (if not like at all), so they are dealing with an aftermath of zero communication between them. what i don't like about jeremiah in general is him using guilt-tripping tactic to make his point. with belly he pulled "my mom has cancer" card when she came to talk about conrad. again, don't hate him cause it's his way of dealing with things. with conrad he said that conrad wasn't present for his mother when conrad was literally in college (and personally, i have studied abroad, so when my little sister pulled "you're not even here with us" card at me once i got a depression episode). so his tactics are pretty questionable to me. and i do feel bad for jeremiah cause adam and partly susannah fucked up with him by starting this competition between him and conrad. i feel sorry for him because he thinks that he's not worthy when things come to conrad. however, i feel sorry for him up until the moment he blames conrad for this cause it's not conrad's fault that his parents had made jere feel that way. i'm not trying to say that conrad and belly are saints, they are not. actually, all three of them are dealing with grief and all three of them haven't really processed the loss of susannah, but meanwhile jeremiah needs people around, conrad needs to take a step back from everyone. and belly, on the other hand, is afraid that things will change, she's trying to get this part of susannah that she lost. and who is a copy of susannah with her optimism, shiny eyes and bright smile? jeremiah. belly is deflecting from her grief by trying to hold to her childhood where everything was not so complicated. she loves both of the boys, of course, and that's why she's acting so messy. no excuses because right now belly doesn't even realise consequences of everything that she's doing to them, but also i don't think that we have to expect a lot of maturity from sixteen years old girl too. absolutely agree that conrad needed a reality check, they both need to mature on their own to find each other later. for me belly and conrad in this season proved that they are right person wrong time trope, so when they both will have their individual growth, they could find a road to each other again. the same thing with jeremiah, he needs to grow and deal with his issues too. and yeah team fishers' happiness all the way! i can write a whole essay about how fisher brothers need to put each other first, but it's for another rant. if you've read to this part thank you so much! and i'm so sorry if this reply is huge, i really liked the conversation you started and it was great reading your thoughts!

#ask #tsitp #tsitp spoilers #the summer i turned pretty

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tea-of-destiny · 4 months

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hi friend I meant to send you this ask a couple days ago I think but. I know it isn't really (twewy) canon, but I'd like to hear about the TWEWY characters in KH3D, if you'd tell me about it? I don't have any intention of playing KH myself, I don't think it's my kind of video game in general, but I'm still fairly curious 👀

ajlksjdfhalsjkd I think this is normally a question where I'd go back to the source material to confirm what I'm saying, but this has been sitting in my inbox too long so I'm just going to write off the cuff and pray something worthwhile comes out

Um, as a whole they're pretty fun! Maybe not totally accurate to the canon of their own game, but they're presented in a way that makes you (or at least me) want to check out TWEWY to find out what their story is. I am so determined to play TWEWY for real eventually, but I don't know how soon that will happen since there's... so much else I want to do aha.

Neku's personality is more that of his first week in the Reaper's Game--he's still kind of standoffish and self-centered, which makes him a stark contrast to a protagonist like Sora, but Neku is already in the process of learning how to trust and befriend other people. He evidently cares about Shiki a lot. I don't remember if he's shown to have much attachment to Joshua or Beat yet in KH canon.

Shiki is a part of one of my favorite interactions in the series; it's actually where the quote in my header image comes from! Riku defends Shiki from a swarm of Dream Eaters, and then he's ready to just run off again to finish his mission, but Shiki says something to the effect of "Hey, you can't chat a girl up and then just ditch her! Aren't you supposed to be my knight in shining armor?" To which Riku kind of panics and says, "Knight? You've got the wrong idea!" aro king So they make for an entertaining pair of companions.

I love Beat. He and Rhyme have a great sibling dynamic. Beat makes some rash decisions that put people in harm's way, but he really means well and has a big heart. There's another scene where Beat's acting tough to Riku like, "We don't need your help!" But Rhyme pipes up like, "Really? 'Cause not five minutes ago, you were whining, 'Where's Riku? We gotta find Riku!'" And Beat gets really flustered like, "Gwaah! Don't say that in front of him!"

All I can really say about Joshua is that he's not enough of a bastard in KH canon lmaooo I need him to shoot the ancient embodiment of Darkness or something

One other thing I'll mention is that as of the Kingdom Hearts 4 trailer, Sora has gone to an alternate reality, and he wakes up in a city resembling Tokyo. There's been speculation that he's specifically in the TWEWY version of Shibuya and we'll see Sora reunite with the cast. Some fans are really excited by the possibility of extended TWEWY lore; others don't want it to be the case because they worry that TWEWY will get subsumed into KH instead of standing as its own thing. I'm not sure how I personally feel, except that I really hope whichever path the developers take, they spend the necessary time to make the game compelling and enjoyable.

I hope this kind of answers your question, even if it's been a while? And thanks for asking!

#teaposts #answered #kingdom hearts #twewy #(n)twewy #sure this can go in the main tags #as a side note kh3d isn't really my favorite installment of the series so imo it's just as well you don't plan to play it #at the very least i'd be the wrong person to try and persuade you lol #but if you still wanted to see/hear more for yourself there's always let's plays and cutscene comps on youtube

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chim-chim1310 · 10 months

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I am a jkkr on this app. I have been for years. I follow a lot of big Jikook acc.. pretty sure everyone knows who they are.

I’ve tried reasoning with ppl, but it is not getting through to these ppl. How are you going to sit there and celebrate these fake bought achievements like this?

That Weverse article was like a knife in my heart: who is this man? I don’t know this man. I knew JK to be a person that wanted to be a meaningful artist who would give his all to his fans. Write his own music and be creative. All about the arts. That is who I thought he was. “I want to be a main huge pop star?” BTS are huge like wtf is he even talking abt? Him dancing and saying ooh let’s go to number 1 during suchwita.. like how chart obsessed can you be? Him celebrating his streams and so called broken records.. I’m like.. is he even aware of the gazzilion versions they released? 4 versions they combined? As a jkkr I’m like how can u accept the blatant sabotage that has been done to ur partner? Not a sane and healthy couple would do what he did. I love him i do but He destroyed my belief in him. He destroyed BTS. He fractured the fandom. I can’t lie anymore. I can’t defend any of this. Ppl say it’s not him.. it’s the company. Stfu.. nobody buys that. He doesn’t care abt the music. He doesn’t care abt artistry. Watching JM has changed my life. He was so humble, so mature.. so artistic.. so creative.. he put his heart and soul into his album. He deserves that number 1. He deserved all the support. He deserves to shine. This Jungkook doesn’t deserve anything. I really do pray that scooter isn’t involved in his album. I wish that for his sake because scooter doesn’t make careers.. he destroys lives. I am beyond disappointed. I feel bad because I thought he was like Jimin. He isn’t. I don’t recognize this empty shell. I’m sorry.

We share the same thoughts.

I've only started disliking jk after seeing the change in his behavior in a matter of days. I was a jikooker not long ago.

And if I'm being completely honest with you......i do find jikook extremely sus sometimes. like there are some jikook moments for me that just can't be denied. That's why I decided to ship them.

But now I've stopped shipping them not because I've suddenly started thinking that they're not together anymore. I've made this clear that we don't know shit. So I'm not here saying that they're dating because we don't know that. But I'll also be honest and say that I do find them suspicious sometimes.

So aside from all that I stopped shipping jikook because I stopped liking jungkook. That's it. Idc care about their personal life. I don't care if jikook are actually together. I don't care if jimin likes him. But as a fan I've stopped liking jungkook.

Shipping was never that serious for me. It was fun so I used to ship them because they were kinda sus and I liked them both since jk was my bias wrecker. But now that I've started disliking jungkook I just don't feel the need to ship them anymore. Shipping is not that deep. We would never know if they're dating or not anyway. So It should be fun for us and not that serious. So I never put much thought on it.

Jimin can like jungkook, he can even date jungkook but that wouldn't change my experience as a fan. Since I've stopped liking jungkook I don't like to attach his name with my bias.

But you're right. I had so much faith in jungkook and he ruined everything. Maybe that's why I'm so pissed at him. Because if yoongi did that then I would just scoff and move on. But I had faith in jk and he destroyed it.

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loveisalwaystheanswer · 1 year

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Hello! How are you ? I wanted to ask you what is your interpretation of Tommy and Lizzie's relationship, in S5 and S6? I never saw love, from Tommy, but Lizzie's fans did, so what are your thoughts?

Thank you!

Hello, anon!

Firstly, I apologize for my late response. I'd hoped to reply sooner, but my phone almost died last week and I had to reset it to factory settings. I'm glad I had had the forethought to create my own cloud storage for photos, but unfortunately I hadn't done it for my text notes, so I lost them all. I found it out the next day and coped with it very badly tbh (crying was included). I have to re-write my latest notes now.

Back to your question. I'm surprised this is still relevant. 'Tommy and Lizzie' isn't my favourite paring of the show, as far as you know if you read my blog. So analysing them is my own sort of torture. S3 itself and Tommy's interactions with Lizzie are my pet peeve. I don't even know where I should begin. For a start, let me tell you about my favourite description of Lizzie which I read a long time ago but I still find it very accurate "the old girlfriend Tommy drunk dials when he's feeling lonely late at night" (x).

Tommy bends her over a desk sleeps with Lizzie because sex is his coping mechanism. This guy cries through his dick into Tatiana or Lizzie. He even declares she was saving his heart from breaking. Honestly, these words are like nails on a chalkboard. It's so disrespectful on so many levels. Firstly, to Grace. Oi, you moron, the love of your life died (because of you btw) few months ago, it usually causes heartbreak! Secondly, to Lizzie. You say you still pay her for sex and make it known in front of the entire family and therefore humiliate her.

There were no reasons for them to reunite in s4. It's been said, I see no logic in the narrative. Especially in Lizzie's actions.

They get married for two reasons: 1) Lizzie is pregnant, 2) it can be useful and very handy for Tommy's political career. He uses her, again. As benefit, he can shift the responsibility for raising Charlie to Lizzie, because he's fully aware of what a terrible father he really is. She's a useful decoration as a mother and wife. Lizzie knows his condition and wants to help him, but he doesn't let her in. There's a huge gap between them. In 5th season I didn't see any hints of love. It was mostly about his possessiveness ('he lays a fucking hand on you, he will be meat for Johnny Dogs') or his ego ('he spoke badly to my wife').

In s6 we see that they've become a more ordinary family. He works, she is being a mother. He keeps cheating on her. She accepts it. But here's more understanding between them and Ruby's disease brings them closer for a short time, but when she dies, Tommy has sex with Diana, Lizzie is humiliated in front of people (again), they become even more distant and Lizzie hits the bottom and leaves him.

Lizzie is in love with Tommy since s2. Tommy uses Lizzie since s1. I don't think he will ever be in love with her. But he grew to love her as a person, as a friend and this is a VERY big part of his development as a character. Because he never cared about any woman anyone who isn't related to him or who isn't Grace. He loves Lizzie, but not in a romantic way. Tommy always only used her for his own purposes and he never was kind or compassionate towards her, but in s6 he cares about her so that's why he says she doesn't deserve him and doesn't deserve to share his fate. That's why he tells Diana he isn't upset that Lizzie left him. Because he loves her and she is dear to him. He is deeply grateful for everything she's done for him and he defends her from Mosley's offensive comments even when Lizzie can't hear it. Don't get me wrong, anon, I don't justify his actions and his speech doesn't make him a saint. What he's done is beyond to be fixed and he should've thought of the consequences earlier.

I know this is a very sketchy analysis because I simply didn't want to go into depth. But I hope I managed to answer your questions.

thanks!

🤍

#asks #tommy x lizzie #liata notes

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longeyelashedtragedy · 9 months

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apologies for the rambling which is about to ensue, your latest fic gave me a lot of emotions and i feel as though i might go mad if i don't write them somewhere. please also excuse my english at times. thank you.

as someone who 'grew up' with arsenal, i've known xhaka since he first signed when i was a child. being a child, i idolised everyone at that club, and xhaka was no exception. i would be furious at anyone who dared say a word against him, especially arsenal fans who were meant to be defending him.

to me, he was simply a man whose heart was too big for his body. a childish view, maybe. but his heart was pure, and i refused to believe anything different. i still do. your words: 'God, but he has a heart of molten gold' ring true for me.

xhaka had such a large impact on the club, and on me as a person. as you put it, 'only Granit could leave a void that has weight.' trying to navigate arsenal without him, particularly at a time where we appear to be doing 'better' as a club can only be described as painful, especially when the club feels more like a family than an organisation. when i saw them lift the community shield, the only thought in my head was that xhaka should have been there to lift it with them. your words, especially the way it was written in second person (but still so clearly from arteta's perspective), target the child in my heart that fought so dearly for him to receive the smallest amount of respect.

the way the fic ends too, with 'You will stay there, where He once was', it feels like a punch in the gut. xhaka leaving left a hole which i don't know what to do with. i haven't known a life without him in 7 years. it feels strange, almost humorous, to grieve so much over a footballer. maybe i am overcompensating for something. but it is undeniable that xhaka was truly unlike anyone else. nobody will be like him, and it is foolish to expect them to be.

in any case, the most important part of this entire ramble (apologies again) is that you truly have a talent. this may not mean much from an anonymous person on tumblr, but i mean it with all my heart. the way you can take your pain and turn it into something so raw and beautiful is an art. it reminds me of a quote i saw about an art piece, but which applies to you too.

'van gogh will ressurect to paint something better and die because he cannot.'

thank you for writing. thank you for existing. i pray you continue to do both for a long time.

hi, i got this message yesterday and took a moment to respond because it was truly so beautiful i didn't even know what to say (i still don't, but that's a good thing.)

i felt so heard and understood here. i've been an arsenal fan for only 3 years, but other than that i feel like i could have written every word of this.

a man whose heart was too big for his body is, i think, maybe the perfect way to say it. there wasn't enough room for how big his heart was or how much it felt (even at times when maybe he should have acted differently.) i think that people haven't really encountered someone like that and just interpreted it--and him--all wrong.

the club does feel like a family these couple years, and so it's even more heartbreaking that granit was not there to lift the community shield. he put in a lot of hard work to get us there. watching arsenal so far this season has been just as exciting and emotional as ever, but at the same time, there's something that feels missing and i think there will always be something missing. that's how much space he took up--so much space that his absence, as i said, does the same thing.

thank you so much for these compliments, i don't even know how to express--i struggle with the concept of unexpected loss, for personal reasons, and i felt so much pain over this and felt like i couldn't fully express why, and i didn't quite see my pain reflected elsewhere (because we're all sad about granit in our own ways!) so finally was able to convey it or so i had hoped. i'm so glad it worked for you, and honestly, this message was so nice and means so much to me and i don't even feel deserving. thank you so much--i'm glad to know there are other people who feel like this, and my inbox is always open to talk about this, anon or not.

thank you ❤️❤️❤️

#anonymous #answered #nice things #fic saga #wow wow omg #also...nice quote #gx #👁️

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julessworldd · 2 years

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Requested by anon.. poly guns where the reader has hate from reporters about being with the boys. My poly reader is fem, language, mentions of being drunk, smut implied between Izzy and the reader, reader uses a knife to slash papers!

Being with a famous person has its perks and also the negatives in life. Fans being jealous and saying nasty things because you got with their idol. Reporters need a juicy story so they still have a job and the same with paparazzis. But going out with five rockstars of the biggest band in the world. It has its perks, each boy brings something wonderful and different. I love them with all my heart, would go to war for them. Here lately, nobody has said anything and our relationship has been amazing. Nobody has been fussing at each other, little too amazing to not have a storm coming in. But, why worry about the future if the present is so good?

Duff and Izzy had an interview, I tagged along since we haven’t had a day out. Even if they were working, the other boys had separate interviews and errands. Kelly Nickels and Tracii Gunns had an interview right after the boys. “So what’s Miss Y/n been up to?”, Kelly asked.

“Not much, just been at rehearsals with the boys. What about you guys?”, I asked. “Talking about an album, possibly, got a new car”, Kelly grinned. Kelly had always been one of my friends and supporters since I moved to LA. He was the one who pushed me to be with the boys, “Have fun because life is too short, buttercup”

The door opened, “Let’s go, Y/n”, Izzy said, kinda grumpy like. “Oh okay. See ya guys later”, I stood up and looked at Izzy. “Fucking hate people”, Izzy grumbled. I furrowed my eyebrows, “What happened, Iz?” He shook his head. “Izzy, spill”, I grabbed his hand, rubbing his knuckle with my thumb. “It’s nothing, Angel”, he smiled, rubbing my cheekbone. “Don’t lie to me, Jeffery”, I deadpanned. Duff was outside smoking, “Hey Michael! Why is Izzy being an ass now?” Duff dropped his cigarette. I never call them by their actual name unless I’m pissed off.

“I told you to tell her”, Duff rolled his eyes.

“I’m too pissed off”, Izzy grumbled. Duff narrowed his eyes at Iz. “God damn it, Izzy” “Tell me what?”, I asked. Duff sighed, looking at me with a sad look on his face. “Duff?” He pulled me to his car, “See ya at the house, Iz”

“Please don’t let me find out from MTV later in bed”, I said. “I know. Just don’t want your feelings hurt, baby girl”. Duff sighed, grabbing my hand. “You know we love you very very much, right?” ‘Ah hell, they’re breaking up with me. Now, big bird has to do it, the sensitive romantic one’ my mind said to myself. “The reporter said some very nasty comments about you and the relationship you have with us. Izzy pulled an Axl and left half way through the interview. Cussed the reporter out, I had to grab him before he did anything else. But nothing he said was true, we love you very much, baby”, Duff had tears in his waterline.

“Nothing, I’ve probably not heard before. I love you guys very much, nobody’s comments bother me anymore. Fuck, who cares who I’m fucking or how many at the moment. I wouldn’t trade our relationship for the world”, I sat on Duff’s lap. “I know,

Doodle. But just Izzy is upset and you know he hates reporters being nosey”, Duff rubbed my hip. “Yeah I know.. I love you, Duffy”, I kissed him passionately. “Do you care if I stay with Izzy tonight? He’s upset you know.” “Not a problem, gorgeous”, Duff smiled. “Don’t worry about the reporters okay?”duff said, taking me off his lap. “Fuck em”, I grinned. “Good girl”

We pulled in, everyone was home, everyone had already heard about the reporter. “You think he’s lit?” “Good chance, just come get me if he does anything mean. Love you baby”, Duff kissed my temple. Izzy was in his room, on his bed, bottle of Jack not open. “Knock knock”, I smiled.

“Hi baby doll. I’m so sorry”, Izzy got up from his spot. “Thank you for defending my honor, my knight in shining armor. I love you”, I kissed him, pulling him close to me. “Always will, Y/n”, he laid his forehead on mine. “Don’t tell the others but you’re my favorite”, I giggled. “Our secret, honey”

I woke up before Izzy, heading down to the kitchen. “Good morning” I smiled. “Here’s the mag about you, love”, Slash handed it to me. “Biggest whore in the world?”, I joked. “Just our whore, Y/n/n” Slash kissed my cheek. Y/n L/n, GNR’s latest groupie. Girl is busy with boys of the band 24/7

I walked over to the set of knives, “Excuse me, Duff”, I went back to the magazine. “Y/n!” Duff said as I slashed the magazine to pieces before going outside. “She seen the magazine Huh?”, I heard Axl say as I shut the door.

“Fucking reporters!”, I said, lighting a cigarette.

#poly!gunsn'roses #fem reader #had to call duff big bird sorry mckagan lol

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yuukei-yikes · 1 year

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What are your thoughts on post-STR Hiyori and Haruka?

this rather became a hiyori post but hehe. under the cut

i think theyre such an interesting duo because they're considered and welcomed as members of the mekakushi dan, but they both kind of arrive late.

these 2 and ayano are the ones who spent recent time inside the daze but ayano has her whole family and i think hiyori particularly feels. weird about ayano. because they're related.

THE THING ABT HIYORI or how i interpret her at least, she's conflicted about her family because. lol she had this secret sister her parents never told her about?? she suddenly finds out she has nieces and nephews?? she runs away to the city without them knowing?? what are ayaka and hiyori's parents like to cause this reaction on both their daughters...

ok im getting a bit off topic, this isn't a hiyori analysis BUT i say this to justify hiyori being a little weird with ayano+mekatrio. i think ayano especially would try ridiculously hard to have a relationship with hiyori... she's delighted about having MORE family, especially from her mom's side since it's always been like. a secret. ayano approaches her with the big sister mindset of course

but since she doesn't KNOW hiyori, she fumbles spectacularly. ayano's overexcited approach isn't well received by hiyori's conflicted feelings about not only the tateyamas but also everything that's happened to her. idk i think it would irk hiyori that ayano just ASSUMES they're gonna get along and be best friends. i think generally, post str hiyori is more of her serious side and not so much the cheerful act anymore. i think it's there for when she's taking it easy especially around momo for example. but otherwise...hiyori's rly serious i think

ON THE OTHER HAND, there's hibiya and momo. i think thats who hiyori is the closest to/normalest to in the dan, BUT THE THING IS... hibiya and momo are already closer to each other than they are to her. ofc we can argue it with hibiya, ive always and will always choose to interpret hibiya and hiyori as childhood friends so hibiya is in fact this person she's relied on and been with for her whole life!! and they most definitely deal with separation anxiety post str lmao and share a unique bond

BUT in the trio that forms with hibiya hiyori and momo, hiyori can tell they're close. hiyori is jealous by both sides because wtf that's KISARAGI MOMO and she's my best friend :3 but she's bester friends with HIBIYA?!?!? WTF IM HER BIGGEST FAN THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. bur also... hibiya is MY best friend not HER best friend. so its double jealousy LOL nowadays hibiya finds comfort in momo rather than on her bc he doesn't wanna trouble her, he's always been the crybaby of the two and hiyori's always had to pick him up... anyways she enjoys her time with them but DOES harbor some jealousy and feeling like an outcast

ANYWAYS that's where I'd start talking about haruka. ok kind of. im still talking about hibiya and hiyori. i think hibiya and hiyori feel completely different about the konoha situation... i honestly see it being in all sorts of ways, them accepting it or them being against haruka, both having the same opinion or different, etc. BUT PERSONALLY i like the idea that hibiya is completely and utterly against haruka's existence and thinks it's unfair konoha had to go. while hiyori is more understanding and defends haruka. i think it's a huge point of division for hibiya and hiyori... not to the point of causing a fallout or anything but it's a thing they know are in disagreement about.

i think it comes from different coping methods and the different circumstances they were in. like... hibiya's more with the urgency/denial and rly acts his age about it. like with him being convinced hiyori IS SOMEWHERE and HAS TO BE FOUND AND SAVED but he also learns to let go and be open with momo. coming back to childhood friends hibihiyo i think hibiya wears his heart in his sleeve with hiyori, while hiyori acts like nothing is wrong and never opens up and would immediately assume killing is the immediate solution to someone seeing her cry. i like to think hiyori's so rough with hibiya because, and these are purely headcanons: 1. he was the one person to treat her normally and not like a princess, then stopped when he develops a crush on her 2. he is the only person who's seen her cry. so she's like AUGHHH

anyways back to the konoha thing, hibiya's really mourning him (everyone is, but hibiya is kind of an ass about it) while hiyori looks at it from a different perspective. she's like, konoha is why i'm alive he wouldn't want me to be angry. also that's ridiculous and furrowing my brow would give me wrinkles 🙄 and she knows haruka was in the daze too so she's like. i was in there too i know what it's like not to be chosen and be left behind, it's cruel and unfair. and she feels for him. quick sidetrack about whether or not the daze ppl can meet each other... apparently they can but MY PERSONAL hc is everyone can do that EXCEPT haruka because of his link to the outside world, or like ppl can come see him but he can't really go to other dazes bc he HAS to be looking through his own eyes outside at the same time so he cannot leave his own daze. as soon as saeru takes over his body and he can't see outside anymore his daze is open that's why he gets to interact with shintaro&ayano when they come get him. ANYWAYSSS i speak from a hc where hiyori and haruka never meet inside the daze but are aware of each other's circumstances. if they did meet inside the daze it just adds to hiyori having so much empathy for haruka but yeah personally i like the idea haruka was just alone for the 2(+hibihiyo timeloop he had to watch) years. its more tragic like that (gets booed)

bc of this hiyori does hear haruka out while hibiya doesnt give him A CHANCE. like really for hibiya it's just that he needs more time to understand and he just. he needs to be angry for a bit. because he's a middle schooler and being mad at everything and the world is kinda how it goes so of course hibiya needs a damn minute

from haruka's perspective he is also super attached to hibiya and hiyori. we rly don't talk enough about how haruka's access to view what konoha did means he spent a lot of one sided time with hibiya & hiyori. he's 100% attached to them!! same with the whole dan and the one sided friendship thing "omg theyre gonna want konoha not me" thing i always talk about❤️ but with hibiya and hiyori it's even more concrete because not only is he attached but!! he rly feels like he owes it to konoha to maintain a bond!! konoha is most likely the one in the passenger seat now, seeing through him... haruka is sure he wants to see hibiya and hiyori!!!

so hiyori does hear him out and find out he saw everything, even the kagerou days timeloop and idk....i think they'd bond over the konoha situation, being unchosen by the daze, joining the dan last, having people inside the dan they're very close to yet these people ARE close to the rest so they feel like outcasts... hiyori hates to (and wont) admit that she finds a kinship similar of momo and hibiya's, with haruka !! sniff sniff...they are. best friends.

i think when hibiya and hiyori visit they stay at shintaro and momo's place. hiyori is in the middle of the sibling dynamic of shintaro momo and hibiya and tbh SHES ALSO A PART OF THIS. SHE VERY EASILY FITS INTO THIS SIBLING BANTER they all act like siblings not to mention mrs kisaragi probably adopts the hell out of them so its like.literally family times. but hiyori will NEVER admit that bc 1. girl thats a lot 2. she kinda likes being dramatic. again middle schoolers be like fuck the world.. idk was that just me. i feel like hating the world when ur 13 is a pretty universal experience but maybe im wrong. anyways its a difficult age even when ur not in a timeloop so hiyoris going thru it

anyways thats to say she gets out to go see haruka a lot. so she goes to harutaka apartment and theyre ALWAYS home bc they work from home so she's like hi. im here to see ur cat. ( <- pretty true but also wants to hang out with haruka) and haruka's like :3 ok come in. and they eat and chat and HANG OUT AND THEYRE BEST FRIENDS. and hiyori even just stays there watching tv while haruka works. sometimes she wants to sleep over but is too embarrassed to ask. takane is also there❤️ ig bc of this a bond would form between them too but we arent talking abt that. but i do think hiyori's a little iffy with takane for being haruka's partner. not in the HE'S MINE way. i just think since hiyori and haruka are so close she's protective and she's like u break his heart i break ur legs😐<- from a 12 year old girl. takane would laugh but knows it comes from loving haruka which happens to be takane's expertise so she can respect the enthusiasm. but from hanging out there/finding out their backstory hiyori probably grows to like takane. but again she loves being dramatic so she still insists to be indifferent towards her. but also keeps urging them to get married. not cuz she cares abt them getting married but she wants to go to a wedding. loses all interest when they tell her they wouldn't care to have a wedding

AND A QUICK acknowledgment of hiyori having a crush on konoha. first of all i think it's funny as hell bc konoha is weird as fuck and she's like omg...so dreamy... but also it's that she thinks he's really cute, its not REALLY a crush. my friends in hs following the seniors they thought were cute kinda vibes. turning red movie when the girls all are obsessed with the guy working at the grocery store. jandkejfjejd it's just sweet and funny and since it's about his looks yeah it'd translate to haruka post str but yknow after everything that happened i dont think hiyori would be delusional abt crushing on him?? if it still happened though id think its funny. i think ayano would weaponise haruka to try to hang out with hiyori

#kagepro #headcanons #haruka kokonose #hiyori asahina #ask tag

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orionsangel86 · 3 years

Text

SPN Conspiracies - Applying Logic to Chaos

Its been over 2 months now since the Supernatural finale aired. I am still so angry, hurt, and confused by it and I don’t think I will ever get closure unless someone like Andrew Dabb, or Jensen Ackles, actually opens up and gives us an explanation that makes sense.

What annoys me most right now is people trying to gaslight fans into believing that we should accept the narrative we have been given at face value: That the finale was always planned to be that way, that Destiel was never on the cards, that there was no Network interference, that the only changes made were due to covid and were minor at best.

This harmful gaslighting is FALSE.

NO ONE KNOWS THE TRUTH OF WHAT HAPPENED.

Look, I don’t agree with some of the crazier conspiracy theories. I don’t believe that there was some huge campaign among the CW Network execs to remove anything remotely gay out of homophobia. I don’t believe that the finale was changed because of some desire to make it into a Walker promo. I don’t believe that the finale was really bad on purpose in protest by Dabb for not getting to do an ending he truly wanted. I don’t believe that Dabb left us smart fans a bunch of secret messages in the finale to hint that he was on our side all along and that everything was fake.

I do, however, believe that all of these conspiracy theories have some elements in them that are plausible. At least, more plausible than the bullshit narrative mentioned above that some people are pushing in some desperate attempt to defend the Network (which imo is really strange behaviour anyway - why would anyone care about a TV network with a history of terrible behaviour?!?)

We have facts, based on information provided before the covid lockdown, which for some reason, people like Misha have since backpeddled on. So let me try to outline some of the information that makes no sense.

Below the cut I go on a deep dive into the conspiracies and statements I have heard about the SPN finale and try to make some sense of this whole fucked up situation. It gets long.

1. “Cas was never gonna be in the finale”.

False: We have many fan accounts of Misha confirming that he was filming the finale. We have video evidence of Misha confirming he was going back to film the finale after the lockdown. We have confirmation from fans in Misha M&Gs from March that he had about 5 days of filming left.

We also had fan accounts of discussions with Alex Calvert (I think) where he confirmed the final shot of the final episode was all four of them though I would LOVE if someone can find a source for this.

2. Okay, Misha was gonna be in the finale, but only as Jimmy Novak

False: I heavily side eyed Misha when he said this. But I think I can come up with a plausible explanation for it. Per above, Misha was supposed to film for 5 days. This does not align with the half a day he described of filming as Jimmy Novak. My own belief is that after Cas was cut from the finale (for whatever reason we don’t know) someone (probably Jensen Ackles) put up a fight and complained that Misha should be there for the final episode. The writers probably tried to come up with a way to bring Misha back without having to deal with Cas, and pitched the idea of Jimmy Novak being in Heaven. Misha, obviously annoyed about this, turned this stupid pitch down.

3. Destiel was never a thing, never planned, never part of Dabb’s ending. Bobo and Misha pushing the confession was the part of the season that was Wrong.

False: We have a SPN writer on record saying that Castiel’s confession was the first thing written for Season 15 when the writers returned to the writers room. If it wasn’t planned, why was it the first thing written, why does it align so well with the rest of season 15? Look I know some people either a. hate destiel and refuse to see it even if it slaps them in the face, or b. have major heteronormative goggles on, or c. are just homophobes in denial, but 15x18 fits in perfectly with the narrative of season 15. Everything Cas says, everything that happened in that scene was so in character it just works. It fit. If you just rewatch the season whilst applying some critical thinking skills and pay attention to the narrative and character arcs, trust me, the confession fits in with pretty much every other plot point, and character story in the season.

Also: We have known for a while that the network did market research into Destiel, wanting to know if it would go down well or not. They were well aware of its popularity and considering it. Where would this have come from if not pitched by the showrunner? Dabb must have at least been considering it. If you take all of Dabb era into consideration, starting with mid season 11, all the way through the season 12 build up, season 13 grief arc, and then Bobo’s Destiel break up arc in late season 14, early season 15, it is clear that there was some toing and froing on the issue of Destiel, but ultimately, I still believe that Dabb was on board. He wrote 13x01 for christs sake. No way he wasn’t taking it seriously.

4. It’s always been about the brothers. The finale just stays true to what Supernatural is all about.

*rubs temples* Fundamentally FALSE: The show has time and again reasserted the message of “Family don’t end with blood”, as well as the messages of AKF and YANA. Sam and Dean may be at the heart of the show, but a heart can’t exist without a body to support it. Without bones, and lungs, and blood, and muscles, and a BRAIN. The finale abandons the shows core messages. It forces the characters back into their season 1 characterisations and the whole thing becomes hollow and souless. But I’m not here to complain, I’m here to lay down the facts. Dean’s heaven was supposed to be surrounded by loved ones right? We know OG Charlie Bradbury was gonna be in his Heaven, we also know CAS was gonna be in there. So this idea that the finale as it currently stands was how it was meant to be is wrong. Dean was supposed to die and reunite with his found family and loved ones. This alone would have been a far better ending than the one given. Do I think this was solely a covid issue? Fuck no.

The randoms that WERE in the finale are proof alone that they could have got people in and quarantined. We also have several actors on record saying that they WOULD have quarantined for the finale had they been asked to return but they WEREN’T.

Lies have been told. Samantha Ferris and Chad Limberg have confirmed that we have been lied to about the original plans for the finale.

This alone is proof enough that there is more plausibility in some of the conspiracy theories than any bullshit narrative some people are pushing in defence of the barbaric mess of a finale we were given.

So lets address some of the conspiracy theories now:

Conspiracy No.1: The CW Network reviewed Supernatural during the covid break, and due to homophobia, refused any Destiel arc that wasn’t already filmed, shut down any potential reciprocation from Dean, and forced Dabb to change his finale.

I don’t think this is entirely what happened. But I do think it is very strange how there is a such a huge disconnect particularly in Dean’s characterisations between what had come before the lockdown, and what came after. The one fact we have here, and please someone provide a source if you can find it because I know there is one, the finale script was still going through changes up to only 2 weeks before it was filmed. We know that there was some weird editing in 15x18 (which was still in post and uncompleted before lockdown) and we know from Jensen’s own mouth that there was more to the confession scene on Dean’s side that was cut. We also know that this isn’t the first time that Destiel heavy moments have been changed in post - the prayer scene is another big scene that went through a lot of changes and Bobo fought to have his script play out the way he wanted it.

There are certain things that in my own opinions, are basically true of SPN which I have put together from years of keeping one eye on the writers room, the network, and all the various comments made. My opinion is this:

The writers room has always been split on Destiel. Some writers heavily supported making it canon, others did not care, or were against it.

The Network considered it over the course of several years, did market research, green lit it, then changed their minds, possibly several times over the course of Dabb’s era. Destiel was pitched to the Network early in Dabb era.

The crew on set were also split. Some people heavily supported it, and worked to assist the reading, whereas others did not care/did not support it. The same can be said for the editing room.

Bob Singer supported the subtextual homoeroticism, but never supported bringing it into text (this is an opinion, but I think it aligns with everything we know about him.) IMO Bob Singer also supported subtextual homoeroticism between Sam and Dean - the guy is gross is what I’m saying. He isn’t exactly a progressive person.

Fun fact - a while back our old enemy Sera Gamble went on a Twitter rant about writers rooms and the ways a script goes through changes. I don’t think this was in relation to the SPN finale wank but she basically inadvertantly confirmed that the Network can step in and make sweeping changes to a script if they want to and if they decide they don’t like the direction of a story. Sera Gamble confirmed this as a fact.

Now. I’m not saying that this is what the CW did with Destiel. I just think its very strange how pre lockdown, the last thing filmed is a heartfelt homosexual declaration of love between Dean and Cas, and we have a finale script that Misha had not seen, but knew that he was meant to film as Castiel for 5 days (5 days on set is over half of an episode as far as I know). Then all of a sudden, Covid happens, and Cas is cut from the finale completely, a desperate attempt to bring Misha back only as Jimmy Novak takes place, which Misha rightly refuses, leading to a finale which makes zero sense narratively and appears in every way completely and utterly butchered.

The only explanation provided by anyone involved is that Covid meant changes had to happen - but that covid didn’t change the actual story at all.

But this makes no sense because we know that Cas was cut from the finale. This is FACT. Do not let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise. Misha was preparing to quaranting to return to set as Cas post Covid, so whatever happened to cut Cas from the finale, it wasn’t Covid.

I’m gonna have to Occum’s Razor this and say that the most logical explanation here is the one that is most likely true. Someone got cold feet with the Destiel story, and to prevent any possible interpretation that included Dean reciprocating, any hints of Destiel were removed from the finale script, including Castiel’s whole appearance.

Now, this isn’t me saying I think that Dabb’s original finale was full of Destiel love confessions and a homosexual kiss or whatever, but I am asking you all to really think about it and ask yourselves WHY Cas would have been totally cut from an episode he was supposed to be in at LEAST half of?

We will probably never know the real reason Cas was cut, but he WAS cut. I’m not saying it was all homophobia, but some fuckery went down.

Conspiracy No. 2: The CW Network changed the finale to make it into a Walker promo because they only cared about raising up Jared and not Jensen and Misha as they were losing them anyway.

I don’t agree with this in terms of the finale being butchered solely to make it into a Walker promo. There are however moments in the finale that are clearly supposed to be Walker Easter Eggs and added to excite fans of Jared/Sam in particular such as Sam’s gratuitous and unnecessary topless scene, as well as the call on the “case in Austin”.

I will take this moment to say something pretty damn controversial though.

*Deep breath*

The fact is, Dean Winchester has been the “lead” character of Supernatural’s narrative for years now, with Sam often being sidelined and not given great storylines himself. Even in Season 15, right up until the finale, I myself felt bad for Sam sometimes because so much of this show has become all about Dean. Jensen Ackles is clearly the better actor when it comes to emotional story arcs, so the emotional heart of the story has most often leant on him.

So you can understand my confusion, when this is turned on its head in the final episode, to make Sam carry all the emotional weight, and have the most lines/screentime, and story resolution (even if his story resolution was just as crappy as Dean’s).

If we pretend that Destiel is not a thing, and ignore Cas’s confession, the story change in the finale from Dean focus to Sam focus is still rather suspicious. Again, I’m not saying I completely approve of or agree to the conspiracy theory that Walker influenced the butchering of the script, but I can believe that perhaps a note went down from the CW to someone like Bob Singer, to emphasise Sam/Jared more than they perhaps would normally, because the CW wanted to shine the spotlight on Jared to raise excitement for Walker.

I can also believe this note might have said something like “we wanna cater to fans of Sam/Jared the most - don’t do anything to piss them off.” but now I am getting into my own conspiracy theories so by all means dismiss this as me being bitter.

Conspiracy No.3: Dabb purposely made it bad, as a secret message to Destiel fans that he had been silenced, by layering meta clues into the episode that he knew fans would notice.

I doubt this one is true. Though some of the theories are quite compelling. The old vampire silent movie theory for instance starts off quite well, but loses me the moment it brings up Urban Dictionary slang.

Sometimes I have just had to accept that Supernatural is a bad show that is sometimes accidentally a masterpiece. However, some writers really did go That Deep with their stories - anything by Ben Edlund or Steve Yockey for instance, their episodes are meta masterpieces with a hundred different layers of beautiful subtextual storytelling and are a joy to analyse. Bobo Berens has certainly done some A+++ work especially now we KNOW that he was working hard all this time to bring Destiel to canon text (so any analysis of Destiel in the subtext in his episodes is very accurate). There have been many other key elements analysed over the years which have been confirmed true. Cas’s death in Season 12, Dean’s time as a demon in season 10, Season 11 ending in unity of dark and light, these were all plot points predicted by meta writers just by analysing the narrative. Sometimes the writers really have been very smart and they do add things to the show to aid us in our meta.

Richard Speight Jr for instance, confirmed that SPN has a visual library that the production team use to give clues and hints in the narrative. Pizza, for example, always means a lie has been told. Whenever Pizza is being eaten or even just mentioned on screen, there is dishonesty in that particular moment.

The beers also have a very specific message and the one thing I can’t let go about the finale, was that Dean was drinking El Sol beer. The beer his dad gave him, that was terrible.

El Sol has been used in the show to indicate something being wrong, a fake reality, or another lie, for the longest time. It is the beer of deception.

The fact that in the final episode of this entire show, Dean is in Heaven, supposedly at peace, and then he gets handed an El Sol beer to drink? Thats a HUGE red flag for any meta writer watching who can read SPNs visual library.

If they had given him the Margiekugel beer of family then it would make sense. Dean is in Heaven, with Bobby, his family, at peace. Margiekugel should have been the beer of choice. But nope. El Sol. Something is wrong.

I don’t know if it was Dabb, or Singer, or some disgruntled ADs and crew members who added these elements into the finale, but their very presence confirms some message of Wrongness.

I could go into a huge rant about Vampire Mimes not making sense and the very glaringly obvious symbolism of cutting out peoples tongues too, but that is high school level film analysis. It’s obvious. It means to silence someone. There is validity in interpreting this as Dabb saying he was silenced. I don’t know how true it is, but i can’t 100% dismiss it, because as I said, this is high school analysis levels of obvious subtextual storytelling.

So in summary, whilst I don’t think that Dabb intentionally went out of his way to sabotage his own script, and leave a breadtrail of secret messages for savvy fans to put together to confirm that he was silenced by an evil network into not getting what he wanted... I do think that there is validity in questioning these odd choices for the finale. Cutting out tongues? Vampire Mimes? El Sol beer?

The evidence is somewhat compelling is all I’m saying. I don’t believe the full conspiracy theories, but as I have said many times before, some fuckery went down.

So What Do I Believe?

That some fuckery went down and whatever company line they are pushing is bullshit.

I believe that the original script included Cas (since thats fact). I believe that the original script probably always had Dean dying on a vampire hunt (due to Jensen’s issues with it and in particular, his sarcastic comments about vampires in the past year or so which in hindsight are hilarious and prove he never really came to terms with Dean’s idiotic death). I believe Dabb’s original script was some less crappy version of what we got, which potentially included showing Jack rescuing Cas from the Empty and resolving the outstanding Empty plot points (potentially this was actually a 15x19 plot since Mark P commented that his final scenes were supposed to be with Jack and Cas), had Cas reunite with Dean in Heaven and had them have a discussion about Cas’s confession. I believe that there was probably a lot of back and forth over how to handle that with some people wanting Dean to obviously reciprocate and others believing they should keep it ambiguous. I believe that Dean and Cas would have reunited with Charlie Bradbury, and Bobby Singer, and possibly others (though if this was the case it must have been very early on since no one ever looped in Sam Ferris, Chad Linberg or any other Roadhouse people).

I believe that Sam’s ending probably didn’t change much, but I do feel that initially they were planning on him ending up with Eileen, because it is the only thing that narratively makes sense. Cutting Eileen and giving him a blurry wife is something I won’t ever understand and Jared’s bullshit explanations are quite clearly pulled out of his ass to appease bronly types. I believe the reunion on the bridge would have included Cas and Jack, with a final shot of all four of them together, at peace (as this aligns with Alex’s comments from around a year or so ago that the final shot was all four of them). (I also am not sure it was always supposed to be on a bridge since the foreshadowing in an earlier episode showed Dean, Cas and Sam all in the Roadhouse together).

I believe that script went through countless changes and redrafts, and not even production people or the types that some fandom people claim as their “sources” would even have seen those early scripts, since even Misha never saw it. I believe that these rumours of Dabb never having Cas in his finale and ignoring all Destiel elements likely come from people who only saw later versions, weren’t party to network discussions and felt bitter about the final scripts they did see (being the crappy butchered one that was ultimately filmed). Those “sources” are now spreading rumours to discredit Dabb.

I obviously believe Dabb is a weak ass pushover who either didn’t care enough to fight back, or gave up since he’s been stuck with fucking Bob Singer on his back for years, but I will NEVER believe he didn’t care about the DeanCas love story, because he has been one of the few writers who has championed for it for years. You can’t look back at Dabb’s episodes in earlier seasons and claim he didn’t care. Dabb was a writer whose creative ideas were beaten out of him by an unforgiving Network only concerned about where their future money was coming from. Do I think he gave up too easily? Yes. But I also have one other huge reason for not believing the bullshit about Dabb being this anti-Destiel villain.

Bobo. Because if Bobo truly believed Dabb was gonna fuck that up at the end, I don’t think he would have given us Cas’s love confession to begin with. If he had known it was gonna end like that, I think he would have reconsidered, because had Cas not confessed his love, I don’t think he would have been cut from the finale. Bobo - a gay man, would not have wanted such a horrible message for queer fans being put across in the show he worked so hard on. He started writing that confession scene the day they returned to the writers room. Dabb would have been there, would have seen what he was writing, probably discussed it with him, after all, other episodes were written with the confession in mind. No way was Dabb planning to fuck up the ending knowing what Bobo was giving us. Nope.

Something went very wrong over lockdown. Someone, somewhere up the chain of power caught wind of the confession scene in 15x18, realised that it demanded a resolution which would make Dean Winchester, their protagonist, queer, and pulled the plug. I believe this did not come from a place of homophobia, but of bad business sense.

The CW is constantly trying to win the approval and attention of the one demo group that they seem to fail at getting the most: young straight men. Supernatural was one of their only remaining shows that appeals to young straight men, and Dean Winchester is more often than not the fave character of those young straight men who project onto him. Making Dean Winchester, established Han Solo of Supernatural, queer and in love with his best friend in the finale would have come across as a betrayal to those young straight men. The CW probably feared they would lose that demo group for good, and with a show like Walker starting soon with Jared at the helm, they couldn’t take the risk.

Hence there was probably a whole bunch of back and forth script redrafts with the Network, with Dabb and Singer fighting to make a finale that would appeal to everyone. There was most likely no way that they could bring Cas back without addressing what had already been filmed, because any resolution of that plot would either a. make Dean queer, or b. address it awkwardly by having Dean reject Cas (this storyline would probably have been slammed by critics worse than the finale because it meant addressing it. It might have got the attention of LGBTQ activist groups and caused a bigger shitstorm than what we got). The best option was therefore C. Bury it and Cas, pretend it never happened. Never address it again and distract Dean with other things. Hope that Destiel fans will accept no answer from Dean as ambiguous enough to imagine a future reunion rather than shutting it down with a rejection, and still keep hold of the blissfully ignorant heteronormative straight boys so they can carry over to Walker when it starts.

I also believe (controversially probably) that there was concern that any resolution of Dean and Cas would have overshadowed network darling Jared Padalecki. If Dean and Cas had come together in the finale, with a very clearly textual homosexual reunion, then that would have been all anyone talked about. The reviewers, the critics, the audience, everyone. It would have been nothing but Dean and Cas (and look, if they did think this, they were right, Destiel trending over the US ELECTION.)

So what is the network to do, when they are losing the two stars who would get the most attention from this storyline? The one star they were holding on to and getting his own show, relegated to third place in the finale of the show where he was first on the call sheet? Nope. That’s pretty unacceptable. Even without Walker I can imagine people at all levels side eyeing the Destiel thing over the years. This IS a show about two brothers, and their relationship should be the core relationship, we can’t have one brother pushed aside in the finale to make way for a queer relationship that will get all the attention instead. It was never gonna get approved for this reason ALONE.

At the end of the day, if I look at it from a business perspective, it makes far more sense that the CW shut down Destiel, rather than “oh Dabb never cared and ruined it because he’s an idiot.” The writers cared, and had built on that story over years. But their mistake was leaving any Destiel resolution to the finale. If they had instead gone and got Dean and Cas together in early season 15, then they could have ended it in a way that satisfied everyone. Destiel wouldn’t have threatened pulling focus away from Sam and Dean, and the show could have gone out on a high.

When I lay out all the conspiracy theories, and line them up next to the cold hard facts, the conspiracy theories in some way or another, make more sense. To believe the company line, the narrative we have been fed, is to ignore your own eyes, ears, and memories pre March 2020.

All I’m asking people to do is take a look at the show, the narrative presented in the show, and the information presented above. I’m not telling you to believe what I’ve written here, half of which is just my own opinion. I’m asking you to ask yourselves if it makes sense to you. Because it sure as hell doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied.

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

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Love For The Faceless

Corpse Husband x Youtuber!Reader(Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Y/N is a YouTube gamer who has recently gained a much larger following thanks to the streams she does with her friends. Naturally, considering her faceless and bodiless nature, people are starting to get curious about her. When she finally follows her friend Corpse’s example, a lot more than her hands is revealed.

Requested by anon, you know who you are 😉 Thank you so much for placing a request and hope this fic fulfills the expectations you have for it.

“Hey!“ I greet the lobby as I finally hop into the Discord call after quickly saying ‘hi‘ to my audience.

I’ve been a YouTuber for four years now and I’ve only recently started streaming, encouraged to do so by my best friend Rae. She’s the one who got me in multiplayer games such as Among Us and Phasmophobia which led me to meet her amazing gaming squad that consists of some of the most famous names on the platform. They are all wonderful people and I will forever be in Rae’s debt for introducing me to them. However, becoming friends with Felix, Sean and the rest of the team brought not only a more fulfilled life, but also a small boost in following. Who am I kidding, it wasn’t small. It was overwhelming, terrifying even.

My YouTube channel had a little over a million subscribers at the start of quarantine and now....now it’s closer to three million. Speaking of three million, I’m about to reach it any day now and it’s really hard to believe. I’m a gaming youtuber and I’ve never considered changing my genre despite expecting to not get any attention whatsoever, with all the big names on the platform. I was convinced not even as many as a hundred people would stumble across my videos and now here we are.

My OG subscribers are very supportive of my sudden growth and are defending me when my newer fans ask for a face reveal or whatnot. While we’re on that topic I might have to mention that not even my YouTube friends, and that includes Rae have seen my face. I’ve been faceless and bodiless for the entirety of my time on social media. Some claim I do it to grab more attention or for dramatic effect, but the reason is beyond that. I’m not shallow. Actually, shallow people are the reason I don’t show my face. I’ve never been the prettiest, but my middle school bully thought that I wasn’t lacking self confidence enough. As a result, I ended up with a not so handsome scar on my right cheek that starts from the corner of my mouth and nearly misses my eye. Yeah, it’s a long and pretty noticeable scar that has thankfully become less and less obvious as the years have progressed. Still, it’s not something I’d like to show to my viewers.

Eight ‘hi’s greet me back, each making my smile grow wider. “Sorry I’m late guys. Technical difficulties.”

“Don’t worry.“ Rae’s voice dominates over the rest, “Corpse still isn’t here so we’re waiting for him.“

I mute myself on the Discord call and take a look at my comments. I’m most flattered by the comments about my voice. Seeing as how they don’t have much to compliment about me other than my content, they make the nicest comments about my voice, personality and humor. Those comments are the ones who warm my heart most. Even when people in my day to day life compliment my appearance I can’t find it in me to believe they are being genuine. I’d like to believe these amazing people are being one hundred percent honest when they tell me they like me for who I am and not for what I might look like.

“Sorry I’m late guys.“ A deep voice causes me to even physically jolt, switching my focus from the comments to the Among Us lobby where my eyes land on the newly materialized black avatar.

“Hi Corpse.“ Rae greets him.

“Hello mister who broke Twitter!“ Sean laughs, provoking the laughter of the rest of the players.

“Yeah, congratulations man. That’s a big deal.“ Felix chimes in.

“Thanks guys, but I think you’re forgetting we’re talking about a picture of my hand.“ Corpse chuckles timidly. I have noticed how shy he gets when someone gives him a compliment - like a snail slowly withdrawing in its shell. I find it adorable.

“That’s what makes it even better!“ I unmute my mic, sending my own congratulations.

“While we’re on that topic...“ Rae begins, waiting for the rest of us to shut our traps, suggesting she has something important to say. “Y/N, do you ever plan on doing a reveal like that? Not a face reveal. Just a body part reveal.“

I have no problem talking about the subject with friends but I get nervous when I’m supposed to discuss it with my fans. Seeing as how everyone, including myself, is streaming right now, I get a bit of a stutter in my speech. “Haven’t thought about it yet. But I guess a body part reveal is harmless.” I cringe immediately after letting the words leave my mouth, “That sounds so weird.”

Rae knows that I’m not too fond of my face, but I haven’t told her about my scar yet. I let almost all people I’ve met online think I’m using my lack of appearance for effect. For the mystery of it all. Mysteries attract people which equals attention. Attention equals views and the domino effect continues.

“Just a suggestion. No pressure.“ Rae adds quickly, knowing full well I get anxious when the subject is brought up in front of cameras. “Let’s get this game started, shall we.”

* * *

The idea dwells in my mind, sitting on the back burner even after I disconnect from the Discord call. I’m sitting in my gaming chair, which was a gift for my two million milestone, and weighing out the pros and cons of the action Rae suggested I take.

“It’s a picture of your fucking hand, dummy. How bad can it turn out?“ I say out loud, shaking my head at my indecisiveness. “You’ll be fine.”

In a blur, two pictures are already posted on my Instagram. The first one captioned ‘Took a leaf from my friend’s book. Did I do it right @ corpsehusband?’ and the second ‘Thanks, Rae. These are on you.’

Rae’s POV

As I’m watching a movie in my living room, I get a notification from Instagram, informing me that Y/N has posted for the first time in a while.

I scoff, “More like the first time in forever.”

The first thing that comes to my mind is the possibility of her reaching that three million milestone that’s been long time coming. I bring the glass of water that’s sitting on my coffee table to my lips, taking a sip as I tap the notification. The picture I see makes me hurry to put the glass back down so I don’t drop it. Y/N’s hand. Her fingers are covered with several thin rings each. And here I thought Corpse had too many rings, this girl has at least two on every finger!

Then my eyes land on the second picture she has posted only minutes after the first and my heart drops. I struggle to get the water that’s been sitting in my moth down my esophagus while my mind is struggling with the task to comprehend the picture I’m looking at.

Another hand is resting on top of Y/N’s. A hand also covered in rings but fewer and larger. The nails are painted black.

I think I know who it belongs to.

Before I can even finish the thought, I’m dialing Y/N. She picks up after the second ring, sound cheery as ever as she greets me. “Hey Rae!”

“Don’t you ‘Hey Rae’ me!” I practically scream. I hate being kept in the dark about anything ever so this is just driving me mad. On top of all, she’s my best friend, for fuck’s sake. “Is that Corpse in the photo with you?!”

“Ugh....“ the cheeriness to her voice is all but gone now.

I go on with my rant, not giving her the time to reply. Not that she would reply. I bet she doesn’t know what to say. “So he knows where you live?! Or was the picture taken at his place?! He knows what you look like?! You have seen him! He has seen you in real life but me, your best friend, haven’t!!! You are breaking Covid 19 protection laws to take pictures?! Are you fucking serious, Y/N?!”

There’s a long moment of silence which frustrates me even more but I literally have run out of things to yell and the power to be angry. I mean, I still am, I just can’t express it.

“Rae, sweetheart, please calm down. You’re scary when you’re mad.“ This girl has some fucking nerve! She’s on the verge of laughing!

“Listen here you...“

“Rae, please stop scaring my girlfriend.“ That oh so distinguishable, oh so familiar voice interrupts me.

I am flabbergasted, for a lack of a better term.

“Now that we’ve got you quiet, I can explain.“ Y/N pics up the conversation, “Corpse and I have been dating for six, almost seven months now. We started dating around Easter after talking for quite some time. We moved in together at the end of September. All thanks to you, Rae. You’re the best.” She pauses to breathe in real quick, “There, all caught up?“

I’m in no less shock than I was before she explained. Actually, I think I might be even more confused now. It all just feels like a fever dream. “Yes...no. I don’t fucking know! I need details, Y/N!”

“Details later.“ Corpse makes his presence known once again, “We’re watching Family Guy right now. Talk to you later.“

“Love you, Rae!“ Y/N calls out before the line goes dead.

My arm goes limp, dropping my phone on the couch next to me.

“Motherfuckers” I mumble under my breath.

Y/N’s POV

It’s been a week since Rae has stopped talking to both Corpse and me. I know she just needs some time to cool off. In the meantime, the rest of our friends were informed and, as oppose to Rae, were nothing but supportive and overjoyed. I bet Rae feels the same way though. Sean, Dave and the rest of the gang have confirmed that she’s incredibly happy for us and says she noticed a spark between me and him since day one, but she can’t help but be mad at us, and especially me, for not telling her sooner.

“Any regrets?“ I remember Corpse asking me when we hung up on her after dropping the bomb.

“Not being able to see her face when she saw the picture.“ I beam at him, feeling as content as ever.

He laughs, agreeing with me before leaning down to kiss me.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @hacker-ghost @itsminniekat @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios

#corpse #corpse husband #corpsehusband #husband #corpse husband fanfic #corpse simp #corpse husband fanficiton #corpse fanfiction #corpse fanfic #corpse x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband x reader #x reader #reader #request #requests open

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theonewiththefanfics · 3 years

Text

Best Friends My Ass (one-shot)

Synopsis: Being in love with your best friend whom you’ve had since childhood can be tough. Being in love and being dumb can make it tougher. Meet the Reader and Harry. They’re the latter. And everyone’s fed up.

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: fluff, maybe little bit of angst, tiny bit smutty, but not a lot

Warnings: swearing, two idiots pining for one another

Word count: 7524

Even when Harry was little, he’d known he’d have an odd path in life. Just because it was odd, didn’t mean it’d be bad, but it would make him absolutely stand out in the crowd. When Y/N was young she didn’t see herself having any extraordinary adventures. Sure, she’d travel and explore the world with its secrets, but she didn’t have any plans to draw the attention of the masses. That was until Harry’d come into her life. They were both young, still kids in that tender age where childhood crossed into teenage years, when they met. For Harry, it was like one of those scenes in the movies where the pretty girl walks into a room and a billion fans make her hair look like the wind is sweeping through it, and her eyes glisten like gemstones. Also known as the 'love at first sight' scene. For Y/N, it was hard to keep her breakfast down as she walked inside the classroom, twenty pairs of scrutinous eyes on her, trying to figure out if the new girl was a predator or prey. Luckily for Y/N, the biology teacher wasn’t a total witch and didn’t make her present herself to the class, and just pointed to the free seat next to a curly-haired boy. Luckily for Harry, that free seat was right next to him. With a sigh, she dropped her heavy backpack beside the chair, giving the boy a shy glance, and was surprised to see a genuine and large grin right back at her. It wasn’t the kind people gave when they had bad thoughts. It was the kind people gave when they were truly excited and wanted to give a good impression. Y/N’s chest grew warm at the thought she might actually make a friend that day. And she did. “I’m Harry.” He extended his hand for her to take, the grin never leaving his face. She gave him a big, relieved smile. “I’m Y/N.” Ever since then they were not only lab partners in classes they shared (which was biology, physics and math), but also in mischief. Together they managed to enrage Anne, annoy Gemma and absolutely horrify Y/M/N, and whenever one went down, the other made sure to go down as well. So when a few years down the line, Harry had told Y/N about his idea to audition for X-factor she wasn’t surprised one bit. “I mean, as long as you don’t trip and break your nose on stage, you’ll be fine.” For that, she received a slap on her arm from him. “I’m just saying!” Y/N defended herself. “You’re great at singing, Mrs Aberdeen certainly thinks so, you don’t have two complete left feet, and you’re alright to look at.” That for the first time since the decision and application had been submitted, made Harry smile. He loved how easily Y/N was able to lighten the mood, to take his thoughts away from the bad, and just erase them with her wit and smile.

“Besides.” She nudged his shoulder with hers and then intertwined their fingers. “I, Gem and our Mums will be right there for you. Won’t even blink until the end of the performance.” With how her insides trembled in excitement and fear for her best friend, it truly seemed to Y/N she hadn’t blinked at all on that fateful day. Her breath hitched when the judges were talking. She couldn’t even remember what they said, all of it turning into white noise. And then he got through, and Y/N screamed so much she was sure she’d blown out Anne’s eardrums, and had hugged Harry so tightly she was afraid she’d broken a rib. But with his victory also came a fear, because, for the first time in Y/N’s life, she was terrified as to where she’d stand in Harry’s. Since day one it’d been secure, but now, with the newfound fame of X-factor and who knows what kind of an amazing future, she didn’t know if he’d throw her to the curb, simply forget about the mundane friend from high school or maybe use her for something. But it wasn’t like that. Not one bit. After insane hours of rehearsals, Y/N was one of the three people he always called. It was her, his Mum and Gem. Always. And he loved to listen to her speaking of what was happening at school, how the lessons were, which teacher turned out to be hooking up with which. As much as Harry knew he was made for the extraordinary, he loved the ordinary Y/N brought in his life. She was his safe harbour. But what he never agreed with were her own thoughts she was meant for a simple life, so he took it upon himself to bring a little bit of eccentricity in hers, as he explained how he’d gotten united into a band with four other boys, now going by ‘One Direction’, and it was his mission to join his newfound friends with the most important friend he'd had. “This is Y/N,” Harry introduced her to the guys after one of their late-night practices, one where they weren’t being filmed. “If you do anything that even mildly upsets her, I’ll kill you in your sleep.” The slap against his arm made him let out an ‘Ow!’ while the rest of the boys laughed and welcomed her with open arms. In a weird way, Y/N became part of the band. She didn’t sing or play any instruments, but she was always around, gave her input on songs and setlists. That kind of closeness made all of the fears and doubts about losing a place in Harry’s life disappear. She was his personal hype-man while at the same time knocked him down a few pegs whenever the fame started to get to his head. She was there for his highs and lows, for the break-ups and break-off in the band, and watched as he ventured into a solo career as much as she could with school and all, but when summer break rolled around it was like Harry couldn't get rid of her even if he tried. Not that he wanted. Sharing the success and happiness with his best friend was one of the biggest rewards he could have. And Y/N would never admit it because it’d boost Harry’s already elephant-like ego, at least that’s what she said, but she kind of liked the attention she received because of him, especially because most of it was pleasant. Had she been terrified that being known as Harry Styles best friend would make people think she was just a gold-digger, seeking fame and leeching it off from him? Yes. And there were people like that. But ninety-five percent of what people said on her social media accounts was actually nice, some even said ‘thank you’ that there was a person like her in Harry’s life to keep things real, and most importantly – cared about him through it all. Harry also saw those comments; he loved to read about how people saw just how much Y/N cared, and it kind of stirred something in him. He didn’t know when exactly, but it was around the age of twenty-four for him and twenty-three for Y/N when he started looking at his friend in a different light. And it bloody terrified him. He didn’t know if she felt the same, and the thought of putting his heart on the line like that only for the possibility of it being crushed was the scariest thing ever. He did, however, have an inclination as to what incident had prompted them to surface. The feelings that were. It was a night after a party. Y/N was on winter break from her master’s at uni, which meant he used every opportunity to spend time with her. The hangover was real, I mean it’s what you got by mixing vodka, tequila and beer into an empty Sprite bottle and chugging it. Harry stumbled over sleeping bodies on his way to the kitchen in search for some leftover pizza he was sure he and Y/N in their drunkenness had ordered, as well as to make two cups of black coffee. He knew she hated the taste, but cold junk food and bitter coffee always did the trick with her. That was when he’d found her. Although he’d woken up in Y/N’s room, she hadn’t been next to him. Instead, as it turned out, she’d gone on a food search sometime before him and had passed out on the couch, a Cookie Monster onesie on her body, but most importantly his signature pearls around her neck. And one of her hands even rested against her collarbone, as if scared someone would take them away from her. That’d been the first time his heart had flipped in his chest at the sight of her, but most definitely not the last. He did however keep this change in his emotions to himself. He wasn’t really sure what it was, so it would be unfair to dump that on Y/N and have her figure it out for him because he didn’t know where she stood on her own, let alone do the work for him. Luckily, despite the tornado of feelings, their friendship didn’t falter, and when his Vogue cover came out, he was incredibly nervous for people to see it, but especially for those who mattered the most to him, like his Mum, sister and Y/N. Especially Y/N, for her opinion had become the most important one outside his blood relatives. After all, all his thoughts went to – if we dated, would she be as proud of me as she was of me as a friend? Her support meant the most because he was away in the middle of filming; he had no way of getting physical comfort, so all of the messages, calls, social media posts and FaceTimes was the world to him, especially when Y/N sent a picture of herself with three copies of the magazine, two beside her head as she laid on her bed and one clutched to her chest, which she also posted on Instagram with the caption ‘Can’t hug you for real right now, so this will have to do. When I do get to you @harrystyles, I’ll crush your ribs with my love. And that is a threat.’ Then the comments came in from the rest, and one stood out more than the others. Bring Back Manly Men. At first, he felt odd about it. It didn’t really bother him, but at the same time, it made him sad. He knew that he was seen as somewhat of a controversial figure, as he painted nails, wore frilly blouses and now full-on dresses, which were all typically categorized as feminine things, but he never understood why a nail colour or the shape of a shirt suddenly became exclusively for just one gender. Which is why he was so grateful to have Y/N in his life. “I mean, anatomically speaking, men should be wearing dresses and women trousers. It’s you who have all the dangly bits,” she said through a bite of food. “The Scots have been onto it since the beginning.” Harry threw his head back in a laugh, shifting an arm behind his head. “So I assume your favourite pic is the one in the kilt?” “Well, it did remind me of that awful punk phase I had back in school with all those safety pins, only in a more tasteful way, but no. My favourite one is you in that brown, grey off-shoulder jacket thing.” “Why?” Y/N wiggled her brows at him. “Shows enough of your cleavage but leaves enough for imagination.” “Of fucking course.” Harry snorted, shaking his head. “Objectifying much?” “What? I’m not going to deny that my best friend is a sexy beast.” He wouldn’t say it out loud, but when she called him her friend, it made his heart clench in a painful way. Harry had been trying to be a bit flirtier around her, but given his open nature as it was, Y/N hadn’t seemed to notice it, nor had she seemed to notice how he looked at her while she was frowning at her computer screen. Harry’d had relationships with some women who could be considered the most beautiful in the world, but if he’d had to say, in his opinion, who’d receive that title, it’d be Y/N. The way she snorted when she laughed too hard, the way small crow lines had already appeared next to her eyes from how much she smiled and the way her forehead creased when she was concentrating. It enthralled him to no end. He could read her life’s story on her face, how she’d lived and thought and experienced, unlike so many people he met who couldn’t move a muscle. Though the reason she was so concentrated in that moment was because thousands of people had tagged her in a tweet of a woman, she’d heard of for the first time in her life (because Harry had been trying to keep that one off her radar), and what she saw made all the blood boil in her body more than any other hate comment had. Without hesitation, Y/N atted her and tweeted “Bring back manly men. Please! Millions of people would let him raw them WHILE WEARING THE DRESS. I mean you tried, so I’ll give you the gold star you so desperately want, but that was pathetic.” At that same moment, a notification popped up on the screen of Harry’s phone. He only had notifications on for one person, and when he saw what was written, he gasped, looking at Y/N. “You did not just do that!” “What?” Y/N shrugged biting down on the chocolate bar she’d been savouring for the last half hour of their conversation. “I just said what everyone was thinking. Besides what the fuck does ‘bring back manly men’ even mean? Go chop some wood? Fight a bear in the Siberian woods? Have your ‘friends’ stab you to death at a political meeting?” “You’re a menace.” Y/N winked popping the last bit of the chocolate in her mouth. “Only to those who dare go for the people I love.” His heart fluttered at the last word, but all he could do was mask it with a large grin and shake of his head. For another hour they spent talking, Y/N kept hyping Harry up, tried to get as many plot details of the movie he was filming, while he avoided as many spoilers as possible and attempted to steer the conversation somewhere else, but when that happened, Y/N jumped onto his music, which he had told her all about. In fact, there wasn’t a music video made without her approval, and neither would his next one be. “You’ll fly out to see me film for ‘Treat People With Kindness’, right?” Y/N sighed, giving him a sad smile. She hated disappointing Harry. “I’d love to. But you know with everything going on, I don’t think I’ll be able to.” “Phoebe Waller-Bridge will be in it.” She gasped, in real excitement. “Well, why didn’t you say so from the start?!” “So that’s what this friendship has come to. I’m just your gateway to celebrities?” “Harry you’ve always been just my gateway to the people living in LaLa Land.” But she let out a small breath much like she’d done before. “I really do want to come, Harry. You know that; I miss you like crazy. But Phoebe or no Phoebe, I don’t think I can.” Harry bit his lip nodding, but he still needed to try one more time. “Is there anything I can say or do to get you here?” “Get me a private jet and a quarantine mansion?” “Deal.” “Woah! Wait!” Y/N pretty much jumped up from her position in bed. “That was a joke! Harry Edward Styles, I swear to God, if you try an –“ But with a giant grin, he just blew Y/N a kiss and ended the call. She was quite terrified if she was being honest, that Harry would do what she’d asked. He already had once. It'd been around Christmas time while she was still in First Year at uni, and she’d seen a glistening necklace at a jewellery store display. She hadn’t said anything, hadn’t even uttered a word, but just seeing the sparkle in Y/N’s eyes, was enough for Harry to make the decision and gift it for her. When the next day, around five AM her time, she got a call from Harry’s manager Jeff, she was ready to rip both of them a new one, an e-mail with a plane ticket popping up in her inbox. “I swear I’ll poison your drinks when I see you,” she’d grumbled, but couldn’t hide the excitement as she threw everything she could in the suitcase. “And no one will find your bodies, mark my words, Azoff.” He snorted. “Yeah, tell that to the FBI agent listening in on this call.” “Fuck. Gave myself away,” she said softly, giggling right after. “You know he’s stoked beyond belief.” Jeff piped up. “He literally jumped out of the bed this morning, and during the dance rehearsals he didn’t miss a step.” That made Y/N’s heart warm. “Well, you can tell him to curb it a bit. Otherwise, I’ll just stay at the fucking mansion – which, by the way, it was a joke, Jeff! I’m pissed enough he’s spending money on me as it is, let alone such a chunk on the plane, you didn't have to get me an actual mansion.” “You know, for you, he’d give away all of it.” “Yes, well, he might need it for his funeral, if he keeps spending it on me and on shit like this.” The man shook his head but didn’t say anything else. He wasn’t the only one trying to drop hints to Y/N that Harry felt something more, but he’d leave it to the man himself. He didn’t need to possibly ruin everything, and have her decide not to come. His client was nightmare enough without her around, because Harry was like day and night when Y/N finally arrived on set for ‘Treat People With Kindness’. To say he enveloped her in a hug would be an understatement as he didn’t let go of her for ten solid minutes, having grabbed her by the underside of the thighs and sat down on the ground just so he could prolong the feeling of being with Y/N. The fact that she’d actually gone for it and hadn’t scolded Harry too much for spending that insane amount of money, for having brought a small piece of home to LA with herself where they were filming, made him now fully acknowledge the true extent of his feelings, especially as she didn’t pull away from their embrace, rather hid her face in the crook of his neck. I mean, in the end, he did have to let her go because everyone had to get back to shooting, but not before Y/N had stripped the meticulous jacket from him, and went to have a glance at herself in the large mirror, one of the costume designers playing along and adjusting the clothing on her body, as if she was going to be the one performing. Harry felt someone slide up to him and he looked over to his left, a smiling Phoebe standing there. She nudged his shoulder with hers. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” He nodded, looking back over to where Y/N was still looking at herself in the mirror, wearing the heavy jacket as if it was nothing like it was made for her. “I’m a cliché, I know. But I can’t help it.” “Of course, you can.” She squeezed his side. “All you gotta do is tell her.” But it wasn’t that easy. Comparatively, getting Y/N to appear in the video was easier than coming to terms with the fact, all they’d ever remain would be friends if he didn’t do anything. Yet the shoot for the video ended as quickly as it had started, and Y/N needed to fly back to the UK to defend her PhD paper, and Harry had to go back to filming ‘Don’t Worry Darling’, thousands of miles stretching between them once more. And Harry was a romantic, he couldn’t confess over FaceTime. Besides, he wanted to make it a special evening for her, plan something out, rather than risk a shitty connection cutting him off mid-word. He hated it though. It’d been almost four years since Harry had realised his feelings had developed from just friendly into romantic, and still, he hadn’t said anything. Even the people who’d never met Y/N in person like Florence Pugh saw what was going on. But unlike the cast and crew of ‘Treat People With Kindness’ who had to deal with his pining for maybe a couple of weeks, it’d been almost half a year for her at that point. Did she just want to call Y/N and tell her how Harry felt? Sure. She’d had enough of him coming into her trailer only to fall down onto her pillow and whine. But it wasn’t her place. So instead, she was going to figure out a way to get Y/N to the set and make him tell her himself. Getting Harry’s phone away from him should’ve been the inspiration to the next ‘Mission Impossible’ script though, because it took her literally a whole day to fish it out from his coat's pocket, and she only had about ten seconds to find Y/N’s number (which wasn’t that hard given how it was the number with literally hundreds of calls next to it) and put it in her own phone. Once their filming was done for the day, Florence rebutted Harry’s invitation to a movie night, saying a massive headache was coming on, so he wished her a good night and with slumped shoulders went to sulk on his own. Which is why she practically sprinted to her own trailer to finally call Y/N An unsure ‘hello?’ greeted her ears before she responded. “Hey, this is Florence… Pugh.” That stunned Y/N into silence for a few seconds before she spluttered out a greeting and said ‘hi’ as well. “Not to be rude, but how did you get my number?” “Stole it from Harry’s phone. Look, he’s miserable. Keeps moping around, and I can’t take it anymore. Last night I found him crying in his pillow with your shirt over it.” “What? Why?” “Because it didn’t smell like you anymore.” Y/N’s heart broke. “Why didn’t he tell me anything? We just talked, and he said he was fine. God, that man is so dumb sometimes.” “Is there any way you could find a way to get here?” Florence asked biting down her lip. She heard Y/N sigh at the other end of the line. “I’ll – I’ll try and figure something out. Have to know what’s going on at work, I mean it has been like two months since the video, so maybe…” She was more so talking to herself, but then remembered about Florence. “Listen, can I give you a message when I find out if my boss will let me?” “Of course!” The actress was excited about the possibility of Y/N getting here, as long as it got Harry out of his depressive mood. “Oh, and I’ll need to know what kind of restrictions are on set. I’ll figure something out with flights and quarantine, but I have zero clue as to what’s it like where you’re filming.” Florence waved her off, even though she couldn’t see the motion. “Leave that to me. Just get your ass over here before the guy cries himself dry.” It was a struggle though on all three ends – Harry was still moping, because not only had Y/N’s shirt lost its smell of her, but homesickness was hitting full force, Florence was getting more and more desperate as she attempted to take his mind off of things, but nothing seemed to work, and Y/N was trying to get on any possible flight to Harry while arranging two tests and an AirBnB she could self-isolate in for two weeks while attempting to set up her work from afar at the same time. Two days after Florence’s call, Y/N sent her a message ‘Flying in tomorrow at 4 AM. Don’t tell Harry. He’ll feel even shittier cause I have to stay alone in quarantine. First test came back negative.” She sighed in relief at the message and immediately texted back ‘i’ve got you a set pass ready, just need a picture. selfie will do. also, masks are mandatory on the lot, so bring those.’ Immediately Y/N sent a thumbs up, and a picture of herself she didn’t absolutely despise to be used on the ID card. All that was left was to pack. And spend two weeks in an attempt of not going crazy with anticipation before seeing Harry. Those two weeks turned out to be worse than the two months between the music video shoot and going to the filming lot. Because throughout then, Y/N knew her only access to him would be through FaceTime, but to be about twenty minutes away from the man without the ability to touch him was pure torture, but at least Harry seemed completely oblivious to the change in her surroundings. As they still continued on with their calls, not once did he mention her background, or how the paintings suddenly had managed to switch positions or the fact that Y/N didn’t even own paintings. She was sure she could’ve been missing an arm, and he wouldn’t have mentioned it with how tired he looked. “Have you even slept, Har?” “Not really,” he groaned, getting more comfortable in his bed. “We’ve had a bunch of early shoots and then late nights, ‘cause we need to get the continuity for the scenes, and then the day’s full of Zoom calls, and well, I can’t not call you.” Y/N scoffed, scolding him. “You know damn well I won’t be offended if we sacrifice a couple of calls for you to get some proper sleep.” “I know, but I will.” Y/N sighed, knowing in a way it was her fault. She could tell him she no longer was hours of time zones away, but rather watched the same sunset and sunrise as him, but she also knew Harry, and he would be unable to stay away from her until her quarantine was over. She was quite happy she’d sat through the fourteen mandatory days, because when she got on set, even though Harry was usually good at keeping his composure during a scene, despite the mask, he’d recognise Y/N anywhere, and all of the lines flew out of his head. “Jack?” Florence’s hand came to cup Harry’s cheek, trying to bring him back on track. “You alright?” But he didn’t even care about improvising to get out of the flub as his lips were split apart by a grin, and he dashed away, a loud ‘CUT!’ ringing throughout the set, but Harry already had Y/N in his arms, spinning the girl around. “Best friends my ass,” Florence murmured as she went to the two. Harry was speechless, Y/N’s face in between his hands as he looked her up and down. “How are you here? What? Why?” “Thank Florence.” Y/N gave an attempt at motioning to the actress with her head. She set the whole thing up.” Harry’s head whipped to his scene partner. “You knew Y/N was here for two weeks and told me nothing?” “Your brain short-circuited when you saw her! You wouldn’t be of no use on set at all if I had.” Harry scoffed, throwing an arm over Y/N’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s get away from this meanie.” But as he walked away, he looked over his shoulder and mouthed a grateful ‘thank you’ to her. All Florence could hope for was that he’d get it together and confess, but it didn’t seem like he was in any sort of a rush. Y/N was set to be there for three weeks, but the thought of the woman leaving without knowing how Harry felt, leaving him in a sea of his own heartache, made her miserable, especially after a night they’d all spent together. Harry really wanted Y/N to get to know the people he worked with so he invited the ones closest to him for a movie night, during which he himself had been the first one to actually fall asleep, of course. For most of it, as ‘Westworld’ ran on in the background, he spent curled up in Y/N’s lap, his head resting against her chest with her fingers weaving through the shortened locks. She had to get used to the length, motion automatically wanting to go on longer than it was possible to. Soon enough, the soothing motions lulled her to sleep as well, their bodies leaning into one another and perfectly fitting together. As tired as Florence was of seeing Harry, a person who’d become her friend now pine for someone so hard, it was absolutely heart-melting to watch the two interact. Everyone could see Y/N had the same feelings as Harry did for her, only she hid them a bit better. A little, but not by a lot. No friends acted the way those two did around one another. Sure, people could be touchy, but not like that, not with such intimacy behind the motions. She felt like she was being a little creepy as she pulled out her phone to take a picture, but it was too cute not to. A loud noise from somewhere outside set made Y/N shoot up straight, and Florence held her breath as she clutched onto her phone, having swiped it accidentally into video mode and filming the whole thing. “No,” Harry whined, a hand reaching up for Y/N and grabbing at her elbow. “Come back. ‘S too early.” She just nodded, grumbling something unintelligible but possibly along the lines of ‘don’t make me throw hands’ before laying down and snuggling into Harry’s chest. Florence let out a large sigh of relief and decided to get some sleep as well before their annoying four AM alarm woke them up for set. This time it was the other way around, as Y/N whined for Harry to ‘come back and keep her warm’. Florence watched as Harry slipped out of Y/N’s grasp, but not before pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead and a whispered a promise to ‘see her when the Sun’s up’. The second the trailer door was closed, she slapped his shoulder, and Harry gasped in shock. “What'dya do that for?” “Stop that! Stop that stupid dance!” She stomped her foot on the ground. “I’m sick and tired of watching you watch her with that dumb longing expression on your face. I can’t take it anymore. Why do you think I went through all that trouble to get her here?” “I told you I would!” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Look, I know it’s not my place or anything, but she does like you. A lot.” Harry threw her an uncertain gaze. “And how do you know?” “Because that woman spent two weeks in self-isolation just to see you! She’s gone through how many of those awful Covid tests just to go and visit you! She’s dropped everything for you, has supported you through so much, and never fails to boost you up.” “That’s what friends do.” “No.” Florence shook her head. “That kind of loyalty… that’s what people in love give. I haven’t talked to my best friend in like a month. What’s the longest you’ve gone without speaking to Y/N?” And with that question, she left Harry to ponder not only his feelings but the girl’s he was in love with as well. Because if he had to be honest, the reason he’d been dragging everything out, the reason he’d stayed pining for Y/N for years on end was that he tried to write everything she did off as something a childhood best friend would do. The truth was more terrifying than anything because once that came to light, it’d change everything, and Harry didn’t know if he was ready. He wanted it, desperately so if it meant Y/N becoming someone he could love freely and openly, but not if by the end of it, she'd disappear from his life, leaving a hole the size of his heart in his chest. His thoughts were cut short as someone knocked on the ‘Hair&Make-up’ door, and an assistant let in a pouting Y/N. Well, he couldn’t’ see the pout behind the mask, but he definitely knew it was there, making a smile come on his own face. She plopped down in an empty sofa and crossed her arms. “I was cold.” Harry snorted, wanting to shake his head, but didn't as to not ruin the hair stylist’s work. “You’re always cold.” “And you’re a living furnace.” “ ‘S that why you like cuddling? Leeching off my warmth?” The same assistant who’d let Y/N in handed her a cup of coffee, which she was ready to kiss the woman for, but opted for a ‘thank you’. “We’ve established I only use you to get to other celebs. What makes you think I wouldn’t use you for those sort of things.” For a moment, the trailer settled into silence, as Y/N enjoyed her morning coffee while the crew kept doing their own work. “It’s so weird,” Y/N piped up, eyes racking up and down Harry’s body. “Don’t even wanna really look at you like that.” He let out a mock gasp of hurt. “What d’ya mean? Am I suddenly repulsive to you?” “No!” she let out a laugh. “It’s just odd seeing you without the tattoos. They��re such a huge part of you, even the dumb ones. Can’t really imagine you any differently.” “Would you love me any differently without them?” The question was bold, even though he knew she did love him, he had to start making moves. “No,” Y/N shook her head. “I don’t think so. I believe I’d be a different person then as well, but I’d love you all the same. As long as you’d do the same with me.” Harry nodded looking down at his hands then back up at her, catching her eyes through the reflection in the mirror. “Don’t think there’s a dimension out there where I don’t love you.” “I mean that is a bold statement,” Y/N said, sipping on the remnants of her coffee. “What if I’m like a weird, cat-skinning psychopath in one dimension? Would you love me even then?” “Jesus Christ, Y/L/N, do you just normally come up with those gruesome scenarios or is it a hobby?” She wiggled her eyebrows, standing up and throwing away the paper cup. “There’s a reason I have a VPN and clean my search history. I’ll see you in your trailer?” “Yeah.” Harry nodded and smiled. “I’ll be there in thirty minutes.” The next half-hour he kept hyping himself up, about how he was actually going to do it, but Florence intercepted him right as he was turning down the way his trailer stood. “How are you gonna do it?” “I – “ Harry huffed and placed his hands on his hips. “In the beginning, I had like a whole romantic outing planned, but… I’ve dragged this on long enough, so I think I’ll just tell her.” “Okay, good.” Florence nodded and slapped his shoulder in approval. “And if I don’t hear that trailer rocking, I will throw you in a ditch.” Harry’s eyes widened at the statement, fully knowing she meant her words, but she was already half-way down the track, blond hair swishing behind her back. It was then or never. Slowly he opened his own trailer door as if it was Y/N’s place not his, but by the looks of how she’d sprawled out on his bed, she had made herself right at home. Just like she’d done it on the first day of school, but just with his heart. “Hey!” She smiled looking at him. “You ready to film?” “Yeah, but umm… I kind of wanted to talk to you beforehand.” Y/N’s brows furrowed at Harry’s serious tone, so she sat up, nodding. “Sure. Is everything alright?” “It’s nothing bad, at least I hope you won’t take it in a bad way... I’ve actually been wanting to tell you this since that winter’s break party you had while doing your masters...” He let out a small chuckle but seeing Y/N’s eyes widen in a panic he stopped. “Oh, God,” she moaned. “You have a kid! Oh my God.” “What? No!” Harry spluttered. “Why the hell is the first thing you assume that I have a kid?” “I don’t know!” She was now standing facing him completely. “We’ve never had secrets between us, especially for as long as you’ve apparently kept them, what am I supposed to think? Maybe one of the girls you hooked up with got pregnant, and you’ve been hiding the fact you’re a baby daddy because you know I wouldn’t be able to keep the fact I can be the cool drunk aunt to myself.” All of that came out as is she’d prepared it ages ago. “Well, no.” Harry shook his head stepping closer so he could be chest to chest with Y/N. “I’m not anyone’s baby daddy. At least I don’t think so, but umm... when that moment would come... when I have a kid...” He looked up at the ceiling and sighed before lifting a gentle hand to cup her cheek. I wouldn’t want you to be the drunk aunt. I um...” There goes nothing. “I’d kinda like if you were the mom.” “Of course, I’ll be the Godmother!” Both of them said at the same time, making the other’s brain stumble over the words said. “Wait, mom?” Y/N’s question was breathless. “Like donate my eggs or some shit?” “No like, I’ve been in love with you for close to four years, and I wanna try and build a future with you, where you’re more than just my best friend.” “Oh.” That was all that managed to escape her mouth as he fully opened his heart, and Harry couldn’t lie – it shattered. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it was more than that. “That’s...” Y/N huffed sitting down on the bed. “That’s a lot to take in Harry. Like a lot.” “I know.” He sighed and sat down next to her. “Which is why I’ve been pushing this away for as long as I could, but... it was time. It wasn’t fair to you or me to keep on living like that. Look.” Harry took her palm in his. “Whatever you want us to be, we’ll be that. I - I mean I’ll be heartbroken if you say you don’t feel the same, but no matter what you tell me now, I won’t let you leave my life. I love you, and I’m in love with you. This is your choice which way you chose to go with.” Y/N shook her head, interlacing their fingers and finally looking up at him. “I don’t want you to be heartbroken. It’s the last thing, I’d ever want to see you like. And umm well, if it takes me using the pair of ovaries I have to admit I’ve been in love with you too to change that, I guess I’ll have to say it. I’m in love with you too.” Harry’s eyes glimmered with unshed tears of happiness, as he looked at Y/N like she’d hung the stars in the sky. Not that it mattered. He always looked at her like that. “You mean it?” “Yeah,” she chuckled, wiping away a few stray pearls from her own cheeks. “I guess I always thought I’d end up the drunk aunt in your life, so that’s why I thought you’d ask me to be whatever future child’s Godmother. But I love you, and I’m in love with you too.” “Can I – “ Fuck, Harry was too giddy for his own good. “Can I kiss you?” And when Y/N chuckled, nodding he swore he already was in heaven. “Yes, please.” At first, the touch of his lips was gentle, almost afraid, but the second he pressed them to Y/N’s, and she gasped at the sensation, it became full of lust as passion, years of pent-up pining and angst and just plain old stupidity surfacing and morphing itself into a steamy make-out session. In a split second, she was sprawled out on Harry’s bed, his toned body leaning over hers and teasing hands moving along her sides, making her squirm and ache for more of his touch, but she wasn’t the only one who wanted to explore a body with a new mindset of what was possible. As Y/N moaned from Harry’s tongue invading her mouth, her hand couldn’t help itself as it slid down his chest, and her finger flicked against the button of his trousers. “Can I touch you there?” Y/N whispered against his mouth, and Harry eagerly nodded. “Please. Been dreaming about this for literally years.” Smiling, she allowed him to continue and explore her mouth with his tongue, intoxicated on one another’s taste. In fact, Y/N was so far gone just from the kiss, she forgot how a fly worked and needed Harry’s help to open it. “Get back here,” she grumbled as he chuckled, having leaned up a bit to make it easier for her to get the offensive piece of clothing off. “We’ll see how you fare with a bra.” “Oh, I’m an expert.” His hands trailed to her shoulder where he snapped one of the straps against her skin, making her yelp. “You do not want to do that when my hand is an inch away from your dick.” But the threat had no merit to it, as she dipped her palm behind Harry’s boxers while his mouth went to soothe the sting and leave a little mark on her skin, which he’d get to admire later on. The second, Y/N wrapped her hand around his cock an involuntary moan escaped into the air, as she gripped him. Fuck, she couldn’t wait until he was inside her, because, and it might sound a little cliché given how they were best friends who’d fallen in love with one another, but she was one hundred percent sure, he was made exactly for her. But no matter how much she twisted her hand or how gently or roughly she rubbed the tip, he couldn’t get hard, and Harry was on the verge of tears, which Y/N saw and instantly pulled away, cupping his face. “I’m sorry,” he choked out. “Fuck, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” “Hey!” Y/N cooed. “None of that. It’s alright. Shit happens.” Harry nodded understanding that she was right, but he still felt shitty and well, he felt insecure about it. “I just. Fuck. Usually, when I think of you, I’m hard in like a second.” And although all Y/N wanted to do was smirk and tease him about the fact that he thought of her while wanking himself off, that wasn’t the right moment. “I promise, you turn me on, you do." He sniffled. "This had never happened before.” But Y/N wasn’t offended or sad, and her laugh wasn’t mocking or trying to hurt him. “Harry you’re dead tired.” She cupped his cheek with one of her hands, and if he’d been ice cream he would’ve literally melted. “You had to wake up at four in the fucking morning and won’t go to sleep until two the next day. Let yourself rest a bit.” “But,” he whined and then huffed. “But I wanna love on you. Wanna show you just how crazy I am about you.” “And you will. You know I’ll always hold you to your word. But this won’t be fun for either of us if mid-fuck you suddenly collapse on me asleep. I don’t need to go to the A and E and explain the broken nose is because my boyfriend decided to take a nap while shagging. A nap on my face.” But Harry hadn’t really heard anything she’d said after Y/N mentioned the b-word, a dopey smile on his face. “I’m your boyfriend? You really want me like that?” “I mean I would prefer if you were Phoebe…” Harry pinched her side, making her squeal before tackling her in a hug. “Shut up!” And that’s how the two fell asleep (and were woken up twenty minutes later by an assistant in a panic given how Harry was supposed to be on set in five minutes) – wrapped up in one another’s arms, smiles on their faces, and no longer best friends, but lovers.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue @im-squished

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15 @breezykpop @girlboss99 @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist @alliyjane @sirtommyholland

A/N: I loved writing this so much :)

P.S. my tags are always open

P.S.S. I don’t take requests, sorry. Also, please don’t repost my story on other platforms (wattpad etc) without specific written permission.

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