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truglori · 3 years

Text

Sneaky Link 🔗

Synopsis: Black Reader and Eric find each other online!

Pairing: Erik Stevens x Black Reader

Warning: Language, Smutt, Raw sex

Flopping on the bed Y/N found herself bored for the fourth Friday night in a row. This was supposed to be the season of hook ups and living her best carefree lifestyle that she had planned out but yet is was the exact opposite. Being on summer break from college Y/N had to come back home with the schools being closed. It was something she dreaded.

Home for her wasn’t the best place to be. Between her judgmental and nagging parents and older brother, Chris, Y/N was ecstatic when she discovered that she would be going to a school that was over three hundred miles away. Being four hours away gave her enough freedom knowing that she didn’t have any one breathing down her neck or snitching to her parents about whatever she did. With it only being her sophomore year Y/N loved the college lifestyle.

Getting up she went to her window to open it and put in her square fan. Her air conditioner that she always kept in her room was now being used by her brother so she had to settle for this. Turning the knob she felt the warm cool breeze coming through and taking up the room. Walking back to her bed she logged into her laptop going onto the web browser. Clicking the history she found the website she was searching for and tapped it.

Quick Link popped up on her screen. It was a site that allowed people to meet and chat with other people. Even though Y/N has been going on it for weeks now back and forth, she never met one person that she has chatted with yet. She was okay with talking to them online and even over the phone but the thought of seeing them in person scared her. With all of the Lifetime movies and ID channel she would watch, doing something as small as meeting up with them could be dangerous.

Y/N scrolled through her recent messages. She had over ninety-nine notifications. She knew that she wasn’t going to reply to them all, only the once she found cute. It was like a broken record being played. They all inbox her with the same messages, hey sexy! Y/N rolled eyes at the un-originality. To her it seem like the guys didn’t even try to put in any effort.

Tapping on the keyboard she began to text back the handful that she found attractive when she got two notifications. Hurrying up her sentence she exited out of the chat and clicking on her new direct messages.

HandsomeAssNigga👅- Y/N, what in the hell is yo ass doing on this shit...10:35pm

HandsomeAssNigga👅- And I know you still online. I can see the green bubble by ya picture...10:36pm

Y/N squinted at the name. Who the hell was this texting her like they knew her? The question alone made her stomach flutter at the idea of getting caught on a dating site by someone she knew or knew her. Clearly this person recognized her enough to boldly message her. Clicking on their username she went to their page. Her heart stopped and thighs clenched at the same time.

It was Erik fucking Stevens aka her brother’s childhood best friend. Chris and Erik were the same age and only three years older than Y/N. Growing up Y/N stayed crushing on Erik. It was his braids that he rocked back in the day that had her drooling over him but also how nice he was to her. Y/N remembered the time when she was a freshman in high school and Chris and Erik were both Juniors she would always get a ride with them every morning in his 2005 Honda Accord. He would steal glances at her through his rear view mirror that only she would catch but to afraid to ask him about it.

There would be times that she would find underwear from a girl tucked under the backseat. Y/N heard about the rumored that went around the school that Erik was a player. An experienced one at that. He was grown before his time and with the way the lucky girls who had a chance to sleep with him describe it, he gave dick like he was a grown man as well.

Hearing that did nothing but spark the flame that she felt about him. She wanted to experience it herself. But being the quiet and timid person she was then, she never did. It wasn’t until Y/N went to college where she lost her virginity her freshman and started having sex on the regular with her ex who was also her first. From the first few times they did it, she could never cum from penetration. Y/N thought it was normal and that every girl dealt with it until she shared a few stories with her friends and they would tell her about the way their guys would make them squirt.

Squirting was something Y/N always wanted to do but could never achieve with her guy. She loved feeling him inside of her stretching her open but he was a quick pumper. He came too fast for her and couldn’t last long enough to get her to nut. So after every session she would take her bullet and tortured her clit until she felt her cream escaping her hole. Not having sex since the last time she was at school had Y/N body extremely horny and hot and ready like a little ceasars pizza.

Clicking through his pictures had her clenching her thighs. After he graduated high school, the graduation was the last place she seen Erik. She wasn’t even sure if Chris and him were still close friends. But what she could say is that he grew up very nice. He now had dreads that hung over his eyes with a clean shape up to top it off. His teeth pearly and white accompanied by gold canines he was wearing in every other picture and last but not least his body was everything. Standing at 6’3 and looking like a solid 215 from her view Erik was fine as fuck.

Giggling and embarrassed with herself she replied back.

BlackBeauty- Erik omg...this is so embarrassing. How did you find me?...10:40pm

Biting the nail on her thumb she waited for him to answer her. To her surprise he wrote back fairly faster than what she expected.

HandsomeAssNigga👅- Noticed yo little ass on the explore page. I know you not on here meeting with these wack ass niggas...10:42pm

She laughed re-reading his message. To her it sound like it was possessive but she didn’t want to over think it.

BlackBeauty- Never!! I am not stupid. I haven’t met one person yet...10:44pm

Hitting the send button she rolled her eyes noticing herself getting desperate from his attention.

HandsomeAssNigga👅-Okay bet! I don’t wanna have to fuck you up youngin 😈...10:47pm

Biting her lip, she stared down the emoji. She wondered what that meant. She wondered in what way did he meant when he said he would fuck her up. At this point Y/N was dripping between her thick thighs.

BlackBeauty- What about you? I know you out here fucking these bitches you meet on here. Don’t lie lol...10:49pm

Y/N didn’t want to seem nosy, she was just trying to make conversation.

HandsomeAssNigga👅- Damn you cuss now? And second of all don’t be worried about what I do with my dick. I’m grown and that’s different...10:51pm

Bringing a hand down to her covered pussy Y/N caressed it. The warmth coming through her panties and cotton shorts. She didn’t know what it was but the way he was responding had her feeling a type of way. She wasn’t the shy young girl anymore he used to know and she wanted to make that clear.

BlackBeauty- I’m grown too Erik 💦...10:53pm

Her heart beat sped up when she sent the text not knowing how he was going to respond.

HandsomeAssNigga👅- To who? I know ya young ass ain’t out here fuckin yet. You was too shy for that last time I saw you. Even if you was, I know you ain’t getting know real dick...10:55pm

HandsomeAssNigga👅- What’s that emoji supposed to represent? Ya pussy or sum shit? Let me find out Y/N 👿...10:56pm

There goes that little devil that had her questioning herself again.

BlackBeauty- I get dick on the regular. Good dick! And yes Erik that emoji reps my pussy. Same young pussy that’ll be too wet for you to handle! I’ll have you drownin in my shit...10:59pm

Y/N could always talk a good game online. It was where she could be get as nasty as she wanted without actually putting in work. The guys who would hit her up loved her foreplay that she had spit over the internet and she was fortunate enough where they never pressed her to meet in person.

HandsomeAssNigga👅- Bring that pussy here and I’ma show you if I’ll drown in it. Stop fucking playing with me Y/N if you not gonna pull up. I don’t do this back and forth teasing shit. You tryna do a Sneaky Link or what?...11:02pm

Checking the hall Y/N seen that the lights were off. Her parents were most likely sleeping and Chris always worked Friday nights. This was the perfect time and opportunity to leave. She would have to sneak the keys from the key holder and use her dad’s car to get to his place. Y/N didn’t do this on the regular but because it was Erik she was curious. She wanted to see for herself if all of the rumors were true. Y/N was going to fuck him tonight.

BlackBeauty- Send me the addy..I’m on my way...11:04pm

________

After showering and preparing for her dick appointment Y/N successfully snuck out of the house. She put his address in her GPS. It was a twenty minute drive to get to his apartment. Putting the car in park and turning it off, Y/N felt the butterflies in her stomach grow while walking into the building. Taking her phone out she went to his message and looking up the apartment number he gave her. Apartment 3B.

Knocking on the door. She held her hands together tightly. She was beyond nervous and rethinking her decision as her heart kept thumping. She couldn’t believe that she was really going to go through this. After so many years of fantasizing about him in her room she was finally going to see the real thing. Y/N only wondered if it was as good as she hoped.

The door swung open showing Erik sipping on a glass of dark liquor. In nothing but a tight wife beater that clung to his chest and his sweats that hung low Y/N could see the print poking through so visibly. It looked like he was free balling it.

“Damn ma. You wasn’t lying about getting grown. You look good as shit.” Erik sipped from his glass. He stepped aside inviting her in.

Y/N smiled softly going inside. She only took a few steps in and stood to the side waiting for him. She heard the door lock behind her as it caused her to gulp hard on her spit.

Erik eyed her with his low eyes. He chuckled seeing that she was clearly nervous.

“So that’s ya thing?” His voice was low and deeper than what she remembered.

“What’s my thing?” Her soft voice speaking up.

“Talking shit online but quiet it person.” He stated putting her on the spot.

Y/N smacked her lips and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She turned facing his livingroom.

“Nah ain’t no whatever. What’s good ma? Where that big girl energy go?” He walked up behind her pressing his body into hers. The hand that wasn’t holding his cup wrapped around her waist gripping the small pudge on her stomach.

Y/N shivered when she felt his dick on her ass. Her assumption was right. He wasn’t wearing any underwear beneath his sweats. She could feel the coldness of his chains on her shoulder when he leaned on her due to her only wearing a tank top. She grabbed his hand, not pushing him away but holding on to him.

“I’m here aren’t I?” She gazed at him over her shoulder.

He smirked at her smart remark. “You need anything before we start? A drink, blunt, something to help you calm ya scary ass down.” He teased.

She pushed his hand from around her waist and folded her arms. “I’m not scary Erik. If I was I wouldn’t be here.”

“Then why you barely saying shit?” He licked his lips.

Y/N shrugged. “It’s just been a while since I saw you. You look...different.” Playing with her diamond earning, she occupied her fingers.

“I may look different but I’m still the same Erik that used to jack ya brother up every time he fucked with you when no one was looking. Ain’t shit changed about me ma so you can relax. I’m tryna take care of you tonight.” He spoke stepping closer.

They were now face to face. Y/N’s frame staring up into his 6’3 one. When she would inhale she could smell his expensive cologne mix with the Hennessy he’s been sipping on since she got here.

“Okay.” She answered with a bite of her bottom lip.

Erik groaned at the action. Both of his hands behind his back now, he bent down to her level to meet her halfway. “C’mere.” He demanded a kiss with messy dreads hanging over his eyes.

Meeting him where he was, Y/N listened giving him one. The taste of the dark liquor transferring over to her taste buds from his tongue invading her mouth. The warmth of it made her melt under him and causing her head to lean back. She was already growing weak just from the kiss.

Erik reached behind her slapping her ass and gripping it with his free hand. “Fuck you doing all that for and I ain’t even do shit yet.” He spoke against her lips peaking through his eyelids.

“Hurry up then daddyy.” Y/N whined.

“That’s my name for the night? I like that shit.” He walked them backwards until they reached his room which wasn’t far away from the front.

Placing his glass down on his dresser he lifted her up by her thighs, picking her up. Y/N squealed from the unexpected action. She held onto his neck hoping he wouldn’t drop her. Erik chuckled playing with her ass cheeks before laying her down on the bed gently.

“You sucked dick before...miss grown?” Bringing his hand down, he massaged his print through his sweats.

Leaning up on the palm of her hands, Y/N nodded answering yes. She did it plenty of times with her ex, who she could make cum quickly off of head alone but the way Erik was grabbing his tool made her think differently.

“So what’s up then? Come show me what that mouth do?”

Kicking off her sandals Y/N got off the bed. His eyes stayed glued to her. Getting on her knees in front of him she tugged the sides of the grey sweats and pulled them down to his mid thigh. His dick sprung out almost hitting her in the face had she been centimeters closer.

Long and thick was what it was. A beautiful smooth brown texture covered his heavy package. Y/N felt her mouth watered thinking about how her cream and juices would look being all over it. This man was truly blessed and so far proving the rumors to be true.

Erik twisted his hips side to side wagging it in front of her. He lifted the wife beater up and tucked it under his chin so that he can get a good view.

Grabbing the base of his length Y/N eyed it. She was trying to figure out ways to be able to swallow this monster without choking. Sticking her tongue out she tapped his tip against it. A string from her saliva on her tongue being attached to his head every time they separated. With her prior experience and watching porn she grew to have her own technique.

Y/N allowed the spit to build up in her mouth when she sucked on his tip. No nigga likes dry head and she wasn’t going to start giving it today. She wanted it to be extra sloppy for Erik. Tightening her jaws she went up and down on his dick. Taking only about four inches of him and using her spit to stroke the rest of him. With just the little bit of his length she was able to take she could already feel him reaching her back.

“Fuck that throat feel good. Shitt!” Erik groaned gripping her tight kinky curls and putting them into a ponytail. He tilted his head watching her go stupid on his dick. He sucked in his lower lip when she began to swivel her head around.

Long drips of spit went falling down on her black tank top. Erik’s eyebrows scrunched up the moment he felt her take his balls in her mouth and suck on them lightly while stroking his tip. His stomach started to tighten and his toes dug into his carpet. This girl was trying to take his soul the way she sucking him up.

“Man whatchu doing Y/N?” Erik asked amazed, closing his eyes for a second. He couldn’t remember the last time he had head this good.

“I’m showing you that I’m grown daddy.” She answered coming up.

Now both of her hands were focused on playing with his balls while she sucked his tip and some of the few inches she was able to reach. Her eyes stared into his not stopping at all. She had him right where she wanted him. She could tell from the way his breathing sped up that he was getting weak and ready to bust a nut. Y/N tightened her suction to make it happen when she felt him pull her off by her hair.

Erik took one hand gripping her spit covered chin and tilted her head up to look at him. “Fuck is you doing sucking my dick like that ma? You tryna make me hold you hostage for the whole night?” He asked seriously.

Y/N giggled. “I just wanna make you cum Daddy.” She reached for his tip and gripped it making him jerk forward.

Erik smacked his lips annoyed that she had him feeling like sensitive. “Chill with that. Let me fuck you first before you suck this nut out.”

Helping her up and placing her back on the bed Erik slide off her biker shorts tossing them somewhere. Underneath them she had on some cotton hipster panties with little rainbows spreaded everywhere. Erik laughed when he seen it.

“Why you wearing shit like this ma?” He teased stepping out of his pants and getting on the bed.

“Because it’s cute. Why you worried about what I’m wearing instead of taking them off?” Y/N mocked his question.

Erik smirked bringing his hand up to the piece of cloth and ripping them straight down the middle and threw them on the ground. A gasp left Y/N lips as she was shocked from him doing that. Slapping his forearm, her lips went into a pout becoming upset.

“Erik, I just brought those two weeks ago.” She smacked the hand that was rubbing her thigh.

“You said to take them off. My bad. That’s the way I usually do it.” He lifted her legs by the back of her thighs while he consoled her as a distraction.

Y/N was frustrated at the fact that he ripped her new panties but also that she wasn’t going to have any to wear back home after this link.

“I don’t care how you do it, you shouldn’t have- ohh shiitt!” Her rant was cut off with the sound of moans leaving her mouth.

Holding her legs by the back of her knees Y/N glanced down to see Erik flicking her clit. The tip of his tongue felt wet and firm, in a good way. She really started to feel it when he took one hand and spread her phat pussy lips. Now her clit was out in the open and more accessible. Erik’s eyes met hers through his dreads when his lips wrapped around her bud and began to suck.

“Mm fuck...daddyy!” The sensation had Y/N’s hips thrusting to meet his vacuum like suction. So powerful and wet.

“I want you to cum on this fuckin tongue!” His words were muffled by the lips of her pussy surrounding his but it was enough to reach her ears. Taking a hand he smacked her outer thigh making his demand clear.

Her warm and slick juices ran out of her opening. It was something about the way he commanded her to nut that made her wetter and willing. Y/N liked to be dominated. Lifting up the tank top and pulling it up to her chest she tweaked and flipped her nipples adding to the stimulation. For her the feeling of having her nipples played with while getting her pussy ate made her orgasm a hundred times better.

“Eat this fucking pussy b-babyy-“ She whimpered feeling a tear slide down the corner of her eye.

Even though he noticed it, Erik didn’t stop. The juices that he caught in his mouth made it hard. He loved a good tasting ass pussy. Y/N definitely had one. Moving his assault from her clit he put his tongue in her tight opening. He began to fuck her with it. Erik put his hands under her ass cheeks and got a good cuff before bringing her back and forth on his stiff tongue. With the way her legs were still in the air he could see Y/N toes curl the second he started the action. She began leaking so quickly. Erik chuckled inwardly when he felt her walls squeezing on him.

“Mhm.” He moaned teasing her.

Y/N was cumming from the second time just off of his mouth alone. She reached down to rub her clit while he stuck his tongue deep inside her. She ain’t never got head this good before back at college. Her thighs began to shake as she felt another mini orgasm hit. Her pussy growing sensitive and overstimulated.

Grabbing his dreads she lifted his head up. “Daddy you was eating my pussy so good. Fuckk!” She moaned with a quiver in her voice.

“Now I’m bout to beat this pussy up real good too. Turn around. I want that ass from the back.” Erik barked getting on his knees.

Swiftly taking off her tank top, Y/N turned around like he said and got on all fours. She felt a firm smack to her right ass cheek. Moaning she rocked back and forth and twerked each cheek individually. Y/N looked over her shoulder behind her seeing Erik watching her move it so effortlessly. His hands went up to her waist and pulled her closer to him. Now she could feel her mound rubbing against his bare hard rock hard stick.

“Doing all this ass shaking, you better not try to run from the dick. I don’t want none of that.” He gripped a cheek spreading it watching her pussy lips follow.

“I’m not gon run daddy..I promise.” She reassured him softly.

Erik gripped the base of his length. Smacking it against her her clit he played with it for a while to warm her up. When he heard her moaning and seen her backing up against him he knew she was ready. Erik sent a drip of spit on the tip of his dick and rubbed it over it with a free hand. He teasingly dipped in and out of her tight hole. Y/N pussy was tight as fuck and he knew he had to work his way in. Getting deeper and deeper with each inch her warm wet walls clung on to him.

“Ooh fuck!” Y/N eyes closed not expecting him to feel like this. Erik was stretching her pussy out. Her arms sprawled out in front of her gripping his sheets.

“Tight ass pussy you got. What happened to getting dick on the regular? Hmm?” Holding her down by the small of her back Erik made her arch deeper as he stroked her slick walls.

Y/N’s mouth couldn’t close or make a sound. From the position he had her in she couldn’t move or run if she wanted to. Pinned down and made to take it. Erik was dicking her down. His heavy fat dick busting her pussy open and touching her stomach. Fuck that. He was putting it in her chest. Y/N reached behind her to hold on to his wrist while he pounded her pussy with precision. Her face smashed into the bed. His dick was too good for her.

“Ooh baby... Daddy don’t fuck me like this!” She shouted not knowing what she was saying. Y/N didn’t want him to stop but she couldn’t handle the pressure he was putting on her bladder.

Erik didn’t have just a big dick that could stretch a pussy out. He knew how to fuck with it. When he stroked he didn’t use his whole body he worked his hips and that’s what drove bitches crazy about him. Erik would fuck like he was trying to make a baby.

“I thought you came here to get fucked?” He asked lifting off her. He bended one knee and balanced his weight on his foot pressing it into the bed. His hand wrapped around her throat as he caught a rhythm making her throw it back on him.

The sound of skin clapping filled the room. Y/N’s arch was now the deepest it’s ever been with Erik choking her from behind and making her head tilt up towards the ceiling. Cramping in her stomach let her know that she was about to break. She was finally about to cum from penetration alone. His curved tip would press on a spot she didn’t know she had there causing her legs to convulse. Her whimpers and moans only encouraged him to keep doing what he was doing. Which was tearing her pussy up.

“Shiitt!!” She cursed grabbing onto her titty to have something to hold on.

Erik bit his lip seeing her ass tremble from her orgasm and feeling her squeezing his dick with a vice grip. He slapped her left cheek before pulling out to flip her over on her back. Looking down at his meat it was covered in her creamy juices. His dick jumped at the sight.

“Good ass pussy.” He mumbled in a trance.

Using the weight of his hips he thrusted finding his way back inside of her. The warm wet tunnel closing in on him. Erik lifted up the wife beater that was still on in the mist, and brought it up under his chin tucking it to move it out of his way. His hands found the back of her thighs and pinned them against her chest. He began stroking and getting deeper from the angle.

Being trapped from his hold that he had on her, the only thing Y/N could do was bring her hands to his hips trying to interrupt his movements. Y/N didn’t like this feeling. He was going too deep. Deeper than what she was used to. Shaking her head from side to side she pushed at his hips that only kept going due to her weak and trembling arms not being able to produce enough strength.

“Move ya fuckin hands.” He demanded while keeping his steady stroke. Erik cussed under his breath hearing the smacking sounds coming from her hole that could be mistaken for a pot of mac and cheese being stirred. That’s how good Y/N pussy was.

Her tight walls gripped his dick. Erik looked between their bodies watch the beautiful art being made. Her pussy following him whenever he pulled out to the tip just to be sucked back in. Pussy as good and wet as hers always got him to bust hard. He was close. Leaning down to her neck he kissed and sucked her skin while having her pinned down taking his length. Erik felt her walls slick up and knew she was about to nut again.

“Let that shit go mama.” He whispered in her neck.

Y/N’s nails scratched against his back. Her eyes wailed up with tears feeling the pressure in her stomach building up. She lost count of how many times he had made her cum tonight but she knew she was grateful and only prayed that this wasn’t the last time she got dick this bomb.

“Unhh.” She couldn’t produce any words. Her toes curled as she gazed at the ceiling feeling her body shake.

“There you go.” He pecked her neck.

Erik talked her through her nut while he continued to chase his. It wasn’t long before he felt his dick throb and grow inside of her. Pulling out he climbed on top of her holding his body up with one hand pressed into the bed as he stroked his dick with the other. Y/N opened her mouth and sucked his tip. She could feel his seed spilling on her tongue and traveling down her throat. She wasn’t usually a swallower but the way he had just fucked her he deserved to have his dick milked.

“Ahh shit!” Erik cursed caressing her jaw as he watched her suck him dry. She was cleaning both her juices and his nut off of his dick.

A popping sound escaped her mouth when she released him. Y/N’s body couldn’t move as she laid back staring at him with disbelief. Erik caught her face expression.

“What?” He asked standing on the side of the bed.

“Nothing. It’s just the rumors that I heard about you were all true. You do give some good dick.” Turning to lay on her side Y/N smiled.

Erik laughed. “Yeah well I could say the same about you.”

Her brows knitted in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Little birdy that goes to your college told me about how good ya pussy was. Had to find out for myself.” He smirked at her.

“Erik what are you talking about?” Y/N sat up.

“I’m talking about your ex that you fuck from time to time is my second cousin. Nigga couldn’t stop running his mouth about you. Small world ain’t it?”

He paused watching the confusion clouding over her face. “Besides why else you think I had hit you up tonight? It damn sure wasn’t to reminisce over the past.”

Taking off the wife beater, Erik leaned down to kiss her lips before walking away.

______________________________________

Please excuse any mistakes!

Tag-List

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#black panther #erik killmonger #erik smut #erik stevens #erik x plus size reader #killmonger fanfiction #killmonger x reader #truglori #black panther killmonger

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fantasydaydreamers · 3 years

Text

"Behind Brothel Doors Pt. 4"

Summary: ✨Part 1✨•✨ Part 2✨•✨ Part 3✨

Words: 5,558

Warnings: Smut

Authors Note: Merry Christmas and happy holidays~ I love you guys💕💕 (please have another pair of underwear ready~)

✨ Please keep in mind this is a quirkless au ✨

A week later you found yourself sitting on your best friend's bed, your head buried in your hands.

"You. Did. WHAT?!"

You rubbed your temples and took a deep breath, regretting ever telling her everything because now the embarrassment was unbearable, and overall you felt like you had a serious problem developing. The confession just happened to slip out...you didn't mean to tell her every single detail, but once you started, you couldn't stop. Recalling everything still felt so vivid and by the concerned expression on your best friend's face, you could understand why.

"What have I done." It was more of a statement rather than a question on her part as she stared at you, her expression blank and empty. Rolling your eyes, you wave your hand at her, brushing off her concerns although you're not sure you disagreed with her.

"It's fine. I just wanted to try a different guy...no big deal." It pained you to refer to Dabi as just a 'different guy,' but now you can understand why this was quickly becoming a problem. You hardly knew these men, only well acquainted with their private parts, but something about the mystery behind the boys at the brothel had you reeling back.

It had also been a week since your encounter with Dabi and Shouto, your promise to come back making you wonder what your next move was. You could technically go and see Shouto whenever, but you just saw Dabi and it all seemed too soon. Shigaraki...maybe, but the situation that happened last time seemed more intense than what you could prepare for and you didn't think you were ready for that either.

"No big deal? No big deal?! (Y/n), do you hear yourself?! Oh my God, you're addicted to dick and it's all because of me-" You tune her out as soon as she starts to ramble, fully admitting this was a mistake and you regret it. Sighing gently, you mentally begin to think of what your plan should be, come your next visit when suddenly your phone buzzed next to you.

Unknown: Heyyyyy (Y/n)~!!

Confused by the unknown number and how the person knew your name, it seemed sketchy but something in you pushed you to answer.

(Y/n): Who is this?

The anticipation waiting to see who it was didn't last long as the person responded almost immediately.

Unknown: Ohhh! Sorry! This is Kaminari! I saved your number in my phone when I stole it...hope u don't mind~

Speaking of your current problem and latest obsession, you felt your heart drop in your chest. Your friend kept rambling on, but you couldn't pay attention any longer, your mind and body wanting to only be at one place right now, surrounded by those countless boys who've captured your curiosity.

(Y/n): Omg. No...I don't mind. What's up?

Kaminari: Welllll I was off today and was wondering if you wanted to hang out ;) you don't have to pay or anything~ bc I'm inviting you to my room.

That made your heart skip a beat and you bit your lip. Hang out? You didn't know what that meant and something told you that Kaminari liked mischief. Him stealing your phone last time was proof of that.

(Y/n): Surree...when do you want to hang?

Kaminari: How about this afternoon? ;)

"(Y/n)! Are you even listening to me?!" Your best friend calls out to you, exasperated. Looking up from your phone, you hum and look back down, quickly sending a reply to Kaminari.

(Y/n): Sounds good. See you soon :)

"Lying ass bitch." Your friend mumbles, dropping the subject and moving to sit on the other side of the bed, pulling out two game controllers. "Just don't come crying to me when you're broke and horny."

Rolling your eyes, you snatch the controller from her hands while denying her accusation. As confident as you sounded, you just couldn't bring yourself to believe it.

~*~*~*~*

Walking through the front doors of the brothel was starting to feel normal although this was only your third time here. Immediately, your eyes fly to the front desk to see who was working, and if you've met him already. Surprisingly, you see a new male sitting at the desk with a little boy and girl sitting next to him scribbling on some paper. Kids? What are kids doing here?

Glancing down at your phone quickly, you send a text to Kaminari letting him know you were here. Without realizing it, your feet carried you over to the purple-haired man sitting tiredly at the desk, watching the two kids color. It was midday so you're not exactly sure what was going on, but the idea of kids being inside a sex house was a highly uncomfortable thought.

The purple-haired man looked up when he heard your footsteps coming closer and his eyes widened slightly and moved away from the kids. He could clearly read the expression on your face and held his hands up. Just as he was about to speak, you heard your name being called, making you turn around, Kaminari bounding towards you with a smiling Dabi behind him.

"(Y/n)! You made it! I brought Dabi along to surprise you, but he can't hang out with us since he has an appointment." Kaminari hugs you from the side and sticks his tongue out playfully at Dabi.

You heard every word that came out of Kaminari's mouth, but the sight of Dabi behind him captured your heart as he was giving you one of the softest smiles you've ever seen, something that made you feel special. He walked up to you as Kaminari pulled back giving him space to wrap his arms around you. You all but melted into the embrace, Dabi's warmth heating more than just your body as you also smelled the familiar scent of cigarettes lingering on his clothes.

"Hanging out, hm?" Dabi murmured in your hair, kissing your head as he pulled back to stare at you still keeping his arms wrapped around your waist. He didn't look bothered by the fact and it was true, you didn't see exactly where your evening with Kaminari was going, but one thing was sure and that was: you weren't paying.

"Appointment, hm?" You retort playfully and Dabi smirks, his eyes flashing. He was just about to comment when a small force tugged on Dabi's arm around your waist.

"Dabi! Look what I drew!" A little girl's voice commanded, staring up innocently at the two of you. Dabi pulls back from you and squats down to examine the drawing, the white-haired little girl looking proud at her accomplishment, the little boy standing a few feet behind her, scowling slightly at Dabi.

You watch their interaction with more curiosity than before, your eyes darting to meet the purple-haired man's gaze again who was still staring at you with Kaminari talking to him. His gaze was far too intense and mysterious that you couldn't hold eye contact for long before having to look away. Squatting down on the other side of the little girl, you look at her drawing of what seemed to be her next to a few guys and the little boy. You could immediately recognize one of them as Dabi and the purple-haired man, but the other two men were a mystery.

"I drew daddy and you and Hito and Kota and Kota's daddy..." The little girl described her drawing anyway and suddenly it dawned on you that this little girl was waiting on her dad. Your thoughts must've shown on your face because Dabi noticed it and spoke up.

"That's a beautiful drawing, Eri. Your daddy is a hard-working businessman, isn't he?" Dabi had put an emphasis tone when he said 'businessman' and your eyes widened before nodding in agreement. Just then, the little boy off to the side scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Not as hard as my daddy..." The boy pouts and Eri sticks her tongue out at him. Dabi grins and reaches over and ruffles the boys' hair, chuckling as the boy tried to push him away.

"Are you going to show me your drawing too, Kota?" Dabi teases, trying to peak over the piece of paper. Kota pulls back as Dabi creeps forward his fingers out in a tickle stance. Kota looks panicked for a split second before taking off around the lobby, screaming as Dabi laughed maniacally, trying to catch him.

The sight had your heart fluttering watching how Dabi interacted with kids. It was strange, but the thought of him being good with them made you happy. A small hand tugged on your sleeve and you look back over, seeing Eri stare at you expectantly. "What's your name?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! My name is (Y/n)! It's nice to meet you, Eri." You smile at her gently and she smiles back.

"Do you know my dad?"

Her next question made your heart skip a beat and you hoped your panic wasn't visible. "I don't believe so...I'm just here visiting." You smile gently again and she nods her head solemnly.

"Well, you should meet him one day. Sometimes I have to come with him to work and Hito or Dabi or even sometimes Kota's dad stays with me until he's done with his meetings." Eri seemed so proud talking about her dad and you just knew, by all means, she needed to be protected. Same with Kota.

You're about to ask about 'Hito' when all you heard was screaming laughter from Kota as Dabi walked back over smiling with his hair disheveled and Kota thrown over his shoulder. Dabi was busy catching his breath as Kota laughed from hanging upside-down, his knees on Dabi's shoulders as his head swung against Dabi's chest. Kota managed to calm himself down and Dabi gently lifted his torso and Kota maneuvered his way onto Dabi's shoulders, delighted to be up high.

You smile up at Dabi and stand up, before smiling up at Kota. "Hi, Kota my name is (Y/n)! It's nice to meet you." A pink tinge ghosted Kota's cheeks as he looked away shyly. Dabi chuckled.

"He's shy around new people."

"I'm not shy!" Kota puffed his cheeks out, pulling on Dabi's hair, making him wince.

"Be nice or I'll take you downstairs," Dabi warned seriously and Eri and Kota both gasped. You looked at Dabi in question and he shrugged.

"Downstairs is haunted and scary and only adults are allowed there, right Kota and Eri?" Kaminari spoke up this time and you look over to see the purple-haired man nodding along with what was being said.

"Daddy doesn't even go down there," Kota whispered up at you and you feigned surprise.

From the talk of the building being 'haunted' Dabi reaches up and lifts Kota off and you watch as he and Eri start whispering to each other, looking around the room in suspicion. You and Dabi walk over to Kaminari as he motions to the man beside him. "This is Shinsou, or as Eri says, Hito."

Now that you have a face to a name, you just need to know who Eri and Kota's dads were. You smile at Shinsou and hold out your hand despite the need to look away from his deep purple irises. He takes your hand and shakes it softly, but the only thing you noticed was just how big his hands were.

He doesn't say a greeting back besides doing a small nod. Kaminari rolls his eyes and was just about to say something when the door to the brothel opened again. All of you look towards the person and Dabi steps forward, looking towards Shinsou for help. What you didn't expect was the almost hypnotizing voice escape Shinsou's mouth, his voice deep and low.

"Kota, Eri, come here. I forgot to show you that Moka had her kittens." Immediately, the kids run over to him, gasping and begging for pictures. It was amazing. You watched as Dabi pulled his client to the door leading downstairs without the kids seeing and he catches your gaze right before he closes the door.

There was a look of longing on his face and you blew him a kiss, which blessed you with a grin in return as he closed the door.

Kaminari appeared at your side seeing at the two kids are now fully distracted and pulls you away. "C'mon (Y/n)! Let's go as well before they notice." Instead of heading to the Sinners door, Kaminari leads you to the elevator that goes up.

"I thought we were going to your room?" You ask, strictly remembering when Kaminari introduced himself to you last time, he also gave away his floor number.

Kaminari pressed the call button and danced impatiently in his spot as the two of you waited for the lift. He also glanced behind him briefly and waved making you turn too and Shinsou waved back. The elevator dinged and you turned back, stepping through as Kaminari followed your lead, pressing a button to the fourth floor, reminding you of your visit with Bakugou the very first time you came here. "Ah...I thought since Dabi couldn't hang out, I could introduce you to my other friend. I texted him after you and he's really cool! You'll like him!"

As the door closed, you leaned against the wall relieved the kids didn't seem to expect anything. "So why are there kids in the Brothel?" You ask, still slightly weirded out by the fact that they hang around in the lobby sometimes.

Kaminari sighs and smiles at you sadly. "I understand it's weird, but you need to trust me that every dude that works here protects them with everything they got if something were to happen. Kota and Eri both have single dads that work here and for all they know, they think it's a business office." Kaminari chuckles. "There are times when they have to be here and wait in the lobby if there was a scheduling conflict."

That made a whole lot of sense but you just had one other burning question that was too personal to ask. Did the fathers get the girls pregnant at the Brothel?

The elevator dinged, signaling you landed on the fourth floor, as you were busy biting your lip thinking about your question. Kaminari stepped forward and grabbed your hand, leading you down the opposite hallway you went for Bakugou. As far as the explanation went, that's all Kaminari gave you and you deemed it enough to satisfy you for now.

Coming up to a red door, Kaminari doesn't even bother knocking as he throws the door open, waltzing inside. "Kirishima!"

Panicking a little from Kaminari being so bold and reckless, you almost wanted to tell him to 'shh,' but reluctantly followed him inside feeling embarrassed. Closing the door behind you, you could hear loud rock music from behind a closed door which Kaminari immediately beelined too, throwing that one open as well.

"Hey man! I'm here and I brought a guest!" Kaminari disappeared from your point of view as he walked in the room, the music lowering a bit. Turning the corner of the doorframe, you come face-to-face with bare muscles shining with sweat as the red-haired man curled dumbells. Your jaw practically hit the floor when the man caught your gaze and flashed you the brightest smile you've ever seen, putting the heavyweights down as he walked over to you.

"Hey (Y/n)! I've heard a lot about you, my name is Kirishima!" He holds out his hand for you to shake, and that comment of 'hearing a lot about you' made you uneasy again as Kaminari had said the same thing. Not only that, but you couldn't help but run your eyes ever his built frame, in awe from that much muscle and you could feel your face start to get warm.

"H-hi." You weakly hold your hand out, his calloused one enveloping yours, and firmly shakes it. God, who is this guy? A greek god? He smiles brightly and pulls back to grab a towel on a bench to wipe his forehead. A few strands of his hair which was held back in a small pony-tail struck to the sides of his face and a long-running scar traced diagonally over his abdomen. It started on the side of his right pec and ended just over his abs. He looked devilishly sexy.

Breaking your gaze from his rippling abs, you glance around noticing you were in a small personal gym that held small workout equipment and didn't have to take up much space. Kirishima notices you look around and laughs shyly. "Sorry, I didn't know when you and Kaminari would be stopping by so I thought I should just do my daily workout while I wait. I didn't realize how late it's gotten."

Kaminari rolls his eyes and walks or to Kirishima, poking his bicep. "Like you really need to work out every day." Kirishima laughs at that but narrows his eyes at Kaminari.

"That's funny hearing you complain about it, Kami, when just the other night-"

Kaminari's cheeks tinge pink and he quickly looks towards you changing the topic. "Ok! Well, I was thinking of playing video games or something. I could go back to my room and get the games and maybe some snacks?"

You looked back and forth between the two before smiling and nodding in agreement. "I have to warn you though, I'm the queen at Mario Kart." Raising your hand, you pretend to analyze your nails and you hear offended gasps from both of the boys.

"Oooh~ she talks big game too. I like competitive girls." Kirishima seems almost surprised and Kaminari looks downright appalled. Kaminari points a finger at you and backs out of the room with a threatening glare as you couldn't help but laugh.

"You're on." With that, Kaminari slams the door to Kirishima's room as you turn back to him.

Kirishima's gaze was already on you but it was almost predatory the way he swept his eyes up and down your figure. "Hey, (Y/n)...can you help me with a workout real quick?"

Confused as to how you could possibly help this rock with a workout, you shot him a doubting look. Kirishima chuckled but it sounded different than before. "Trust me, babe. Lay on the ground for me."

His voice took on a husky tone as your body visibly shivered at being called 'babe.' Kirishima looked like a whole new person standing in front of you with a dangerous glint in his eyes as he waited expectantly. Gulping audibly, you slowly drop down to his workout mat, staring up at him while waiting for his next instruction.

"On your back." Was his low rumble, also getting down and crawling towards you. Watching Kirishima inch towards you had your mouth drying up as his red irises never wavered from yours, his biceps flexing every time he put a hand down. The low rock music thumped in his speakers but that didn't hide the beating of your heart as your back slowly lowered to the ground as Kirishima moved up your body and finally positioned himself on top of you.

His strong arms planted themselves next to your head, as his hips brushed downwards on yours briefly before he pushed himself up in a push-up position. "I just thought a cutie like you could help give me some motivation as I finish my workout routine."

That innocent, beautiful smile flashed on his face again and you were at a loss on where to put your hands. At my sides? I can't put them around him because he's going to- oh my God.

"Can you count for me?" Kirishima's voice was still deep and husky as he stared down at you, that cheerful smile now morphed into a teasing one as you watched a bead of sweat drip from his hairline, down his neck, and down the middle of his defined abdomen.

Not trusting your voice, you nod your head and Kirishima shakes his head tsking gently. "Say it, cutie." It was a soft demand, but you couldn't trust the glint that never wavered from his eyes.

"What do you want me to count to?" Your voice was a whisper as you struggled to only keep your eyes on his face. Kirishima thinks for a moment, but you find it hard to believe he didn't already know.

"How about ten?"

"Y-yeah. I can count." It sounded stupid coming out of your mouth, but honestly, you were scared to move much less think properly. Kirishima chuckles and whispers, "Good. Ready?"

His whisper washed over you in waves and you felt goosebumps rise over your arms. "Yes," you confirm, and Kirishima bends his elbows, coming down nose-to-nose with you before straightening back up again. It was overwhelming just how close he got with his warm breath fanning over your lips making you poke your tongue out and lick them. "One."

Kirishima follows the movement and comes down again, this time something brushed against yours but it was so light you could've sworn it was only just his breath and not his actual lips. "Two," you whisper again as Kirishima starts to come back down for the third.

Nothing brushed against you that time, but you quickly thought about the fact how dumb you must look crossed-eyed when he comes down close. Your cheeks flush hot, the air around your face was humid, and you weren't even the one doing the work. Kirishima looked normal enough and you weren't surprised with how high his stamina must be. "Three."

Kirishima smirks and comes back down again but holds his position just above your lips, his nose brushing against yours. "I hope you don't mind if I do some planks in between."

You couldn't breathe.

Personal space be damned with his voice so close to your face. It added to the wonderful torture, his body heat radiating on to you. All you could see was his red eyes and without realizing it, you licked your lips again, your tongue brushing against something else.

A sharp intake of breath came from Kirishima as he pushed back up, his eyes darkening considerably. Not knowing if you should apologize or not, Kirishima came back down before you could decide and this time it was certain his lips pressed against yours. Just as you were about to savor it, he pushes back up and waits for you to count. "Four."

The word left your lips in a gasp as Kirishima came back down quickly, doing the next three push-ups quickly, only allowing you to gasp the number out in between kisses.

On the next push-up, he held his plank position again and this time he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding smoothly into your mouth only to quickly push back up but not before nipping your bottom lip with his teeth. "Eight?" You felt dazed and confused as if you were the one doing the workouts.

What the fuck?

It was a drunken feeling the way you were losing your sense of thought, focusing on nothing other than the red-head hunk on top of you. You wanted nothing more than to have him bend you in half right here, right now. Sexy and sensual was the aurora eluding from this man above you, confidence in his expression as he bit his own lips staring down at you.

He comes down again and this time presses his whole body on top of you and you could feel something hard poking you down below. Leaving a lingering peck on your lips, he pushes back up. It was then you realize, at some point during his push-ups, you had reached up to grip his wrist, holding yourself to the ground. "N-nine."

Your voice was slurred as Kirishima didn't wait for you to finish the word as he came back down and fully planted his lips on yours, gliding his tongue in your mouth at your gasp. A low moan worked its way out of his throat that had you whining back, one of your hands running up his bicep feeling the muscle twitch beneath your touch.

"Ten." Gasping out the final number in between breaths of air, Kirishima smirks and trails his mouth down the side of your neck, nipping at your skin as he makes his way to your neck, sucking the sensitive part in his mouth.

A loud gasp leaves your mouth, surprised that he found one of your weak spots already, the smirk against your neck was clear as he nipped at the bruise he made. Your legs widened as Kirishima settled between them, kissing lower and over to your collarbones nipping at them as well. "Y-you like biting."

Your comment was more of a statement rather than a question as you jolted as Kirishima leaned back up to nip at your jaw. He chuckles and pulls back up to look at you. "Are you complaining?"

With one eyebrow raised, he seemed amused, making a show of licking his teeth for good measure. "Nope." You confirm and try to pull him back down for another kiss, not caring if he was slightly sweaty.

"Good. I like marking my territory." The way he said that made your eyes roll back as he descended back down to your neck, his hand coming up to smoothly undo your pants. In a blink of an eye, they were gone and the cool air of the room made you shiver. Kirishima seemed to notice this and moved off of you, which only seemed to make the situation worse.

"Sorry, I have it extra cold in here when I work out...come here." Kirishima sits up and spreads his legs, inviting you in. He flips you around so that your back was against his bare chest and moved his hands under your thighs to spread them open. Your head falls back down on his shoulder as you feel his hand sneak down to your pussy, rubbing over your clothed clit.

Your legs jump as you gasp, Kirishima taking that opportunity to place his legs under yours, your thighs resting on top of his. He kisses your ear gently and rubs his hand up a down your slit, groaning. "Yeah...I'm going to take you just like this."

You pulled at your underwear, anxious, and Kirishima chuckles, letting you move your leg to get them off. As soon as it was off, he fixed your position and went back to stroking your clit. His other hand reached under your shirt and groped your breast, his teeth going back to nibble at your neck. "F-fuck." You try to roll your hips against his finger, encouraging him to do more.

Kirishima chuckles from behind you and dips one finger inside you, moaning hotly against your ear. "This wet already, babe?" His finger pumps in you slowly and feeling him curl it upwards had you whimpering.

"Kirishima-" Moaning his name seemed to spark something within him as he added another finger, pumping the two digits in and out of your dripping pussy. His other hand squeezed your thigh, slapping it slightly, making him growl. "Ah! More...please..."

Kirishima hums and tries for a third finger, the stretch making your hips stop squirming as he hushes you gently. "One more, babe or it's going to be a tight fit."

That comment on its own made you cry out, gasping as he moved his other hand over your clit, helping to distract you from the pressure. "F-fuck me, please!"

"Damnit...hand me that condom real quick, cutie. I can't stop to shower..." Kirishima pants as he tilts his head in the direction of a drawer. It was a small shelf next to the bench you were next too and you lean forward, opening it and blindly reaching in for a condom. Grabbing one, you hand it to him and although you didn't get to see it, you knew Kirishima opened the package with his teeth. He looks over your shoulder as he reaches around and in his gym shorts to pull his member out and roll it on.

As soon as you saw his cock spring free, your pussy clenches down on Kirishima's fingers tightly. Kirishima releases a breathless laugh and removes his fingers, replacing them with his cock.

The feeling of his girth breaching your insides had you arching your back off his chest, overwhelmed and extremely turned on. You were thankful for the preparation because there's no way it would've fit without it. You reach back into Kirishima's damp hair, tugging slightly as he filled you out nicely.

"Hey guys I'm-" Just then Kaminari comes bursting through Kirishima's door again and you were too delirious in pleasure to react appropriately. Kaminari stood in the doorway to the workout room with the games in his hands, along with a bag full of snacks. His mouth was wide open as he watched Kirishima pump his cock in and out of your exposed pussy.

"H-hey Kami. We got a little carried away-fuck-but you're more than welcome to come join." Kirishima grunted out, holding your legs open despite your embarrassment. Without taking his eyes away, Kaminari lowered the items he was carrying on the ground by the door, looking away briefly to dig inside the bag.

You couldn't stop your moans even if you tried, Kirishima's cock hitting you deeply every time and now that Kamianri came back, it was unbearable. Hearing Kirishima laugh next to your ear had you focusing back on Kaminari, watching him crawl towards you with a portable Hitachi wand.

"Planning something for later were you, Kami?" Kirishima grunts, feeling your pussy squeeze him tighter at the sight of the toy. Kaminari smirks and faintly you realize this is where the mischievousness feeling about him came from. "(Y/n) tightened up real nice when she saw that, didn't you babe?" Kirishima slows his thrusts as Kaminari kneels in front of you, placing the toy down so he could rub his hands up and down your thighs.

"Feeling good, (Y/n)? He's big isn't he?" Kaminari purrs, one of his thumbs extending from a hand on your thigh as he rubs at your exposed clit. A squeal left your lips and you jerked, hands tightening in Kirishima's hair for dear life.

Kirishima stops thrusting, enjoying the feeling of your walls fluttering violently around him. Grunting, Kirishima shifts the two of you and pulls your thighs farther back, Kaminari's eyes twinkling at the sight.

"You two are so sexy~" Kaminari moans, leaning down to lick at your clit, just as Kirishima started thrusting again.

"Oh my fucking-" You jerk again, and Kaminari cackled, closing his lips around your clit, sucking gently as his velvety tongue flicking it at the same time. A scream was crawling up your throat and your mewls and moans were increasing dramatically the more pleasure they gave you.

Kirishima's grunts in your ear, licking the shell of it while looking down at him and Kaminari's ministrations. "(Y/n)...holy shit you feel so fucking good hugging my cock like that. Do you like Kaminari's tongue? It's so soft massaging you like that, hm?" The raspiness in Kirishima's voice became more broken and you and Kaminari both moaned in response.

At this point, it was Kirishima doing all the work moving your hips as you became immovable, not able to move much in general but now it was just helpless. Just when you thought you were about to cum, a sudden vibrating sensation on your clit had you screaming out, your hips jerking widely as you felt liquid leave your pussy in a gush you've never experienced before.

"Fuck!" Kirishima shouted as well, speeding up his thrusts violently and pushing himself deep inside you, his cock pulsing rapidly as he unloaded in the condom, his harsh breathing in your ear. Your vision swam with black spots and there was an intense ringing in your ear, your hips still twitching widely and you couldn't seem to catch your breath.

The sound of the vibrator shut off and finally manage to open your eyes and a softly grinning Kaminari was leaning in close to you. "You okay, (Y/n)?"

"Never- I've-" You couldn't comprehend your voice and couldn't find your words. Kaminari and Kirishima seemed to understand you anyway and Kaminari pecked your lips while Kirishima pecked your temple.

"We're happy to be your first, (Y/n)," Kaminari kissed you again and you finally looked him up and down and saw just how soaked he was.

"Oh my fucking God I'm so-" Kaminari was shaking his head before you could even finish. He stripped himself out of his shirt and Kirishima eased his way out of you, you wincing as he did. Your legs were sore and you felt extremely exhausted, overwhelmed in every way.

Kirishima tied the condom and you look towards Kaminari who was hard in his sweatpants. "What about you?" You ask, embarrassed that you didn't think you could go again. Kaminari waved you off again.

"I think the most important thing right now is a shower. For all of us. Then we can relax and play video games since I think we've finally managed to find a worthy opponent, Kirishima." Kaminari stands up and before you could attempt to, Kirishima sweeps you off your feet.

"We got you, (Y/n)."

It was a comforting shower and you could barely keep your eyes open when the three of you got out. It was no surprise that as soon as your head hit Kirishima's pillow, you were knocked out.

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fumingspice · 3 years

Text

andante

Pairing: Cordelia Goode x Reader

Prompt: oK so how about like?? Delia x reader and they're both in love af but they think the other has no feelings for them so they're both tripping over themselves to make the other love them and then madison comes in and she's just like 'stop being dumb' and they finally realise how much the other loves them.

I’m sorry but my ed crept back in and im not horny enough to put more thought into writing so just ignore the massive time skip at “---”. enjoy, you strange people xo

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*(*❦ω❦)*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It's crazy. Falling. You see? We don't say "rising into love". There is in it, the idea of the fall. And it goes back to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation. Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble...

Between Cordelia Goode's ears were pretty brown eyes and a mind full of thoughts. Brown eyes were never really your favourite until you saw them on her. You knew yourself that somehow, over the years you got to know Cordelia; working with her, befriending her, carrying her home from the bar one night when she got far too drunk, letting her cry into your shoulder when her job became too real and she could feel her mother's words hanging over her head.

When you started falling for the woman with those beautiful brown eyes.

Somehow, her eyes were now your favourite colour.

Not brown- brown wasn't simply the word for the colour. Cordelia's eyes were the colour of aged whiskey. Sometimes they were the only two safe shots of tequila that you could see. Sometimes they were a beautiful milk chocolate dotted with exposed honeycomb. Once when she had asked you to help her decorate the garden for the Summer Equinox- she had given Zoe enough money to take the girls on a field trip for the day so she could give the girls a little party. You stood watching her in her denim shorts and her white button up. When she had stepped back and put her arm around you to admire both of your handy work you could have sworn her eyes were glowing like fresh magma.

Her hand lay on your waist a split second too long.

You had fallen in love with the Supreme.

"Yo, bitch!" Madison Montgomery's usual entrance phrase disturbed you from your imagination. You raised your brow and smirked.

"Yes, Madison?"

The blonde took her sunglasses off her face and closed them with a slight snap. "The girls want to know if you wanna come to play Pysch! with us," she said. Her lips were curled in what could almost be described as a friendly smile. You were one of the few honoured to know that under Madison's bitchy white girl facade there was actually a very sweet someone lurking under there.

You thought for a moment and put your pen down. "I won't be long- I just have to log these last few names and I'll be there," you tell her. Madison rolled her eyes and waved her hand, the pen lifted itself and wrote the last thirteen names within seconds. "You're done. Let's go, Y/N."

Madison didn't even give you a minute to say anything before she walked out of the room. "Come on, bitch. Don't make me use my powers!" she called from the hallway, finally motivating you to move.

The girls sat in a circle in Zoe's bedroom. Lights off. Candles lit.

Zoe, Queenie, Mallory, and Coco were indulged in their phones for the game. Madison turned to you and held up her phone to show you the question. "What is Zoe's deepest, darkest secret?" she read. "You gotta answer it and the person with the most votes wins. It lasts for ten rounds and it can be fucking hilarious."

Zoe's face was red with laughter at the answers. "She's not actually a witch- that's not even funny," she gasped through cackles. She then sobered slightly. "She likes to watch Danny Devito movies while masturbating and screaming 'I am a dirty man'."

Madison was the only one who chortled at that.

You joined the game and got your best answers ready in your head. "If Madison got arrested tomorrow what would it be for?"

Madison rolled her eyes and muttered something about knowing exactly what everyone was about to answer. You smirked slightly, sensing her slight apprehension.

Prostitution.

Murder. Third-degree.

Fucking up the brakes on a bus full of frat boys.

Public Nudity.

"Gosh, you're so original," she muttered, glaring right at Zoe, who just shrugged.

"It's the rules of the game, bitch. Go all in, don't get offended," she replied.

The game pinged for the next question.

"What is on Y/N's mind right now?"

Coco gave a loud "Ha!" and typed quickly, along with the other girls who were all typing as quickly as possible to get their answers in first.

A quiet knock came from the other side of the door and Cordelia poked her head around. "Sorry to interrupt, girls. Y/N, could I borrow you for a moment?" she asked, voice sweet and angelic. You bounced up as soon as she finished the sentence and obliged straight away. You were met with a sweet smile.

Madison flicked her brows. "Speak of the devil," she muttered, winking at Delia's slightly confused face. As you left, your phone pinged to announce the results just before you left the game.

Cordelia 🥵🥵🥵

Delia. I ship it <3

Getting knuckle deep finger fucked by the HWIC

French fries

You quickly shut off your phone screen before Cordelia could see.

"What's the matter, Delia?" You asked, practically skipping alongside her. There was a vibrant air of satisfaction between you.

Cordelia shook her head, her blonde hair bobbing with her movements. “I just wanted to know if you’d like to go out.”

You felt your heart stop. “Go out?”

Cordelia looked hurt by the confusion on your face.

“Yes. Would you like to join me in the garden?”

“Oh,” you realised, slightly disappointed. “I would love to.”

---

"For the love of Hades. Right, I don’t mean to sound rude or anything because I have some understanding that lesbians are fucking useless because of the fear of appearing to be predatory because the media is an asshole,” Madison continued. “But I don’t really think any of us can eat at this table anymore without choking on the fucking sexual tension between the both of you.”

Cordelia looked shocked. “It’s not that-”

“I’m a fucking mindreader! You do get that I can fucking hear the things that you say in your head about what you want to do to Y/N? I’m one gutter minded bitch and not even I’m creative enough to come up with that shit while I’m eating my fucking apple turnover!”

You blushed hard and chuckled.

Madison’s neck snapped towards you. “Oh, and don’t getting me fucking started on you! Do you know how fucking unsanitary it would be to carry out your little fantasies of fucking Cordy on the kitchen counter? Not even for us but the amount of fucking crumbs that would work into your nooks and crannies would be like trying to spring clean Myrtle's fucking hair! "

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Cordelia chuckled nervously. Her face turning a shade of red. “I’m sure Y/N’s got plenty of better options.”

Madison dropped her face in her hands and rubbed her temples. “God, you bitches are going to put fucking years on my skin.”

“Oh, give me a break, Madison.”

Cordelia stumbled foward slightly, having been tripped up by some unseeable force and sending her tumbling into you. Her hands lay against your chest for that split second too long once more.

Your lips parted for a moment and your breath hitched as you both watched Madison smirk and leave the room. It felt like your heart was beating at a thousand miles an hour. You surroundings were unnoticable to you now; replaced by unidentifiable whirls of colour and light. Your hand rested flat on Cordelia’s cheek. It was different this time. Not the spark, that had been there every time you touched. It was the fact that you were both too slow to ignore the ignition that started in your chests.

You saw her eyebrows falter from their previously confident expression, like all of her preparation and barriers and walls had fallen down and she was too slow to replace them. Cordelia pursed her lips, presumably trying to figure out what she should say to you. Again, she was too slow as you inhaled sharply and thrust yourself forward to catch her lips.

Delia was quick to mould herself to the curves of your front, hands falling to the small of your back on a collision course as she backed you into the dining room table. You smoothed your hands over the contours of her jaw, her collar bones, breasts, hips like you were a master pianist playing a brilliant concerto. Her body was the only instrument you longed to play; her moans the only melody that you longed to draw from her.

As her lips glided across your own, everything came together like pieces into place. You thought back one of those late nights in the kitchen. The way Delia’s fingers had so enthusiastically laced through yours during the late night in the kitchen when you had both stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking about life. How the witch had turned the radio on and taken your hand while you danced to some song by REO Speedwagon. Twirling you through the night. “Can’t fight this feeling” was the song. Ironic, now that you thought about it. It seemed as though fighting her feelings was what she had been doing the entire time.

She twirled you around in the light of the dim television and the refrigerator when the songs were upbeat, even going as far as dipping you and pulling you up again. Bare thighs against your own in her shorts and oversized shirt. When the songs that were played were slower, she was more gentle. Until eventually you swayed in a slow two-step, your head against her chest, and hers against yours. The air was thick with something pure. Something untouched.

You had no idea why you ever just thought this was something two best friends did. More so, you had no idea why you didn’t lean back and dip into her lips and allow your souls to dance the waltz that they were so clearly destined for.

Cordelia’s thumb and finger lay on either side of your jaw as she continued to kiss you as if her soul depended on it. Her fingers interlocked with yours against the table.

She broke away, tears had fallen down her cheeks and made your heart melt. “Oh-ho,” you chuckled, mouth agape at her sight. “Why the tears, my love?”

Cordelia laughed, wiping away her tears. “I’ve longed to do that for so long,” she replied. “So, so long.”

You chuckled at her sweetness and the display of pure love that you were so unaccustomed to.

“I fell in love with you, Y/N. I don’t think I will ever stop falling in love with you. You’ve created this storm of beautiful chaos in me,” she continued. “Do you remember that night where I was really sleepy, so you let me just stay in your room? How I had fallen asleep on top of you by accident and you wrapped your arms around me and hummed a lullaby?”

You nodded, remember the feeling of waking up with the Supreme in your arms.

“I was wide awake,” she told you. A delicate smile arose.

You chuckled into her touch.

“Oh, sweetheart,” you replied, drawing her closer, her blonde hair twirled in your fingers. “I know you were.”

#ahs #ahs imagines #cordelia goode #cordelia foxx #cordelia goode x reader #cordelia foxx x reader #wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable x reader #billie dean howard #billie dean howard x reader #lana winters #lana winters x reader #sally mckenna #sally mckenna x reader

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

Text

Out of The Woods

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 4

"They loved each other recklessly"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even when you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the Stark tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 4,754

Warnings: some angst and fluff, some shade was thrown, mentions of violence.

A/N: this is one of my favourite songs ever. Again, I suggest listening to the song which I linked both on Spotify and YouTube right below. As always you can always ask to be added to the taglist!

A/N: the dividers were made by the lovely @chrissquares! Thank you @nacho-bucky for beta reading this!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

song on Spotify and YouTube

It's been a while since you felt this way.

Even back then, it was rare that you woke up before him, but you always relished it. You could feel all of him, the comforting weight of him almost lulled you back to sleep. With his chest pressed against your back, and arm curled around you, it felt as if he was enveloping all of you. You didn't mind that. It was weird how easily you fell back into old patterns, but how could you not? The only time you ever felt this good was with him, you never knew this kind of thing exists before him, and you never saw it again after him. But here it was again.

You couldn't bring yourself to care that it won't last, not with the way he felt next to you.

Certainly not with the small feather like kisses you now felt being pressed against your neck, spreading goose bumps in their wake.

"What's on your mind, love?" you loved hearing his voice in the morning.

"Do you think it'll all be worth it?"

"We will find out with time." He made you believe that, he knew the effect he had on you.

He felt colder against you than you remembered, he was different.

"They won't like this, you know."

"Since when do you care about what other people think?" he lifted himself onto an elbow to look at you.

You were different too.

"I have a family now. So many things have changed, Loki." His hair was softer now, you smiled as you racked your fingers through his messy hair, it was your fault after all. "You changed too."

A lot has happened after he left you, he was grateful that he decided to leave you, it was the right thing to do even if it hurt you.

"I did, I suppose."

"I mean, after you- you left it was a good few years and then I saw you on TV in the battle of New York, and next thing I know you are here in the tower with me."

"Yes, a lot has happened." He dosed off in thought.

"What?"

"Nothing, darling, we should get up." He met your lips in a short kiss, smiling down at you.

"Fine, let's go." You grabbed the sheets and pulled it against you, searching for your clothes. You pulled yourself up from the bed when you didn't see find your shirt which you changed to last night, at least that was before your second round. "Hey Loki did you see my-"

Turning around he looked at you with a smirk, already dressed in new clothes. You totally forgot about his magic, he always did it.

"Panties? They are right here, but I'm afraid they are quite ruined." You wished you could wipe that smirk off his face.

"I was looking for my shirt, you asshole." He just held up his other hand and you grabbed your shirt, turning to go to your closet.

You missed him so much.

"Then you have to fold it again- no Loki," you giggled when you watched him try to copy your movements on this lazy afternoon you shared with him. "Fold it to the other side, the airplane needs to be identical on both sides so it could fly." Loki glared at you and you tried and failed to stop your giggles. But when you weren't looking at him, he couldn't help but smile at you.

"I don't know why you call this paper thing an airplane, it doesn't look like those machines you showed me pictures of." He looked at your perfectly crafted paper and scoffed when he saw his.

"Because these paper airplanes can fly, look" you waited for him to finish his one before throwing yours. He watched your proud expression when it flew around for a couple of seconds before it fell on the floor and you went to fetch it. "Try to do it with yours."

Loki concentrated with furrowed eyebrows as he copied your movements and watched as his work flew for a second before it crash landed on your couch.

"That was great!"

"That was pathetic!"

"We can try again." You fixed his airplane and gave it to him.

"Or, we can do this my way." He smiled at you mischievously and told you to throw it at three."

"One, two, three!" when you released your plane, your watched in wonder as Loki worked his magic on it. Your two paper airplanes were flying throughout the living room together. You caught him staring at you when you looked back at him. Smiling, you leaned over the table to connect his lips to yours in a short kiss. "Isn't my way much better?"

You wanted to wipe that stupid smirk off of his face, so you brought him in for another kiss as the paper airplanes kept flying around the room.

•

"You can tell yourself whatever you want Tony, you are not a good cook." you coughed at the smoke that filled up the kitchen. Natasha was fanning herself with a towel.

"Well at least I am trying to cook! I was going to make something nice for our Asgardian guests." You almost laughed at him pointing a pan at Natasha with an apron on, but that comment died on your throat. "Where did you disappear to last night?"

"What?" you stood next to the open window, getting some fresh air.

"One minute you were with me and the next you walked away and disappeared. Wait-" she paused and tilted her head. "Did you go home with someone?"

Sam whistled from the door.

"Y/N go get some!" he raised a hand to high five you but you only glared at him.

"I got tired of the party, so what if I did?"

"That guy from IT who has a crush on you will be very disappointed."

"Who the hell has a crush on me?" with the smoke out you finally got your eggs and toast for breakfast, snatching the one that wasn't burnt.

"Mike? You know that guy who was talking to you last night?"

"What? No way, he was just making conversation and he was talking to you too." You scrunched your nose.

"Are you doubting my spy skills?"

"Yep, but either way it's not my fault if he's upset it's his problem." You shrugged, biting into your food.

"So you actually were with a guy." You looked up mid bite.

"You bitch."

"Language, the captain is here."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, Steve."

"Y/N met a guy."

"You what now?" he crossed his arms and looked at you. "Who is he?"

"No one, can we just move on? We have a briefing soon with the asgardians you're making so-called food for, so just eat up and shut up."

Natasha only shrugged at Steve's raised eyebrow.

•

"Brother, where did you go to last night? I found Tony but I couldn't find you after we split up." Thor spoke to his brother as they walked through the corridors of the Avengers Tower.

"I went to the lab, parties are not my thing, neither are your midgardian friends." Thor shook his head.

"They are really nice Loki, especially Y/N." Loki faltered in his step at her mention. It did not go unnoticed by Thor.

"Why are you so insisted on talking about her? I told you already that we are not-"

"Loki, despite everything that happened I still know you, just a little bit." He put a hand on Loki's shoulder, stopping in the middle of the hall. "I just want to tell you to be careful with her. Her friends here, and especially Steve- he will not react to it well."

"So I should just bow down to that?" Loki looked up at Thor, anger flashed in his eyes.

Shrugging Thor's hand off, he went into the room where the avenger's were sitting around a table. In the front stood Tony, waiting for the two asgardians to arrive, while he snacked.

And then Loki saw you, you sat right at the head of the table just across from him, catching his eye and then looking down when you started to feel your face heat up. Wanda smiled slightly beside you.

"Okay, now that we are all here, tell them what you started telling me yesterday. Thanks for not showing up Horny head, Thor couldn't tell me everything without you."

Thor chuckled and held Loki back.

"There were weapons that were stolen from the Asgard royal vaults. We still don't know how they managed to get to Asgard or even get into the vaults in the palace. Loki knows more about what was stolen, go ahead brother."

"Very well, the weapons that were stolen are very ancient and very dangerous. One of them is Laevateinn, my old wand-"

"You had a wand?" Pietro laughed from the corner, you kept your wide eyes on Loki. He told you about it several times and this wasn't good.

"What else was stolen?" you leaned forward now, but Loki had a hard time meeting your gaze as he looked back at Thor as if they had a silent conversation. "Loki?"

Steve turned his head to you, surprised at your tone. He was even more surprised when Loki met your eyes and kept them on you as he obeyed your request.

"It's called the Skofnung."

•

It has been an hour, and it was safe to say that everyone in the room was on their toes, tense.

"You said you kept an enchantment on it! You said you hid it, how the hell did they get to your wand?" you were standing up, yelling at Loki in frustration.

"I did do that! But after I was away for a long time, the spell around it weakened and my stupid father thought it would be safer to put it in the vaults alongside all the other things!" he countered back.

"Hey Loki, do not talk about our father like that."

"Oh come on Thor, he is stupid don't deny it." You were so frustrated that you didn't even care anymore, you could feel Steve's gaze burning into your skin as he stood beside you.

"And how would you know that?" he asked you then, and before you could think you replied on instinct.

"Because he always treated Loki like a-" you realized your mistake when you saw a shift in his eyes, and the room went quiet as the spies and geniuses caught on.

You hated that between all the anger in his eyes, you saw betrayal there too.

Loki leaned against the wall and watched the scene in front of him unraveling.

"So, it's him? Is that why you weren't telling us anything?" Steve got angrier by the second and you didn't dare look around to see the others' responses. "You two were-"

"Okay, Steve calm down now." You were thankful for Wanda but Steve only shot her down.

"No, I want to hear what she has to say. Did you lie to us about anything else?"

"I didn't lie to you Steve! I was just trying to-"

"No but you did lie to me, you are involved with the psychotic guy who terrorized earth!" he pointed to Loki then, but you knew that if you looked at Loki you'll break down.

"Steve, maybe we should slow down from the accusations." Sam put a hand on his shoulder but he didn't let down.

"Yes, Steve I was with him, and I didn't tell you because I was scared of this exact reaction! This is what I tried to prevent!"

Loki was ready to fight the captain for making you feel this way.

"You can't be with him Y/N! He is not good for you! You don't know all of the things that he did!"

"Captain, if you have any anger let it out on me, not her." Loki spoke up and walked forward in the room.

"Oh I assure you, I will." He sent daggers at Loki before looking back at you, at this point your eyes were teary. "Y/N you will stay away from him."

"Enough!" your eyes flashed at him and the room glowed in purple before it all went quiet. Wanda looked at her friends' dazed eyes and she was about to go to you when Bucky beat her do it.

"Doll, you can't keep him like this forever, he will still fight. We both know that." He and Wanda moved through their friends to get to you as you went to the door.

"Darling what did you do?" he stopped you when you grabbed him to go away.

"I just needed it to stop." You turned to Bucky and Wanda. "They are fine, I just sent them to calm down, it'll wear off once I'm up in my room. Please just calm them down, I can't bear him being mad at me."

They nodded at you. After that you grabbed Loki and left to go up to your room. It was silent.

"You shouldn't have done that." Loki looked down at you with concern.

"He didn't stop. Do you see now why I didn't want them to know?" you crossed your arms, but your demeanor soon fell and he was ready for you when you rested your head on his chest.

"I understand. I didn't realize you were that close."

"They are my family Loki, I may didn't have one when we were together but now I do," you looked up at him. "And I care about them."

Loki locked the door to your room in a green flash when you went inside.

"Come lie with me?"

"It's midday my darling." You only hummed in response and got on the bed. With the begging look you gave him he had to oblige.

Getting in the bed, you laid your head on his chest and he traced invisible patterns on your exposed skin. His other hand playing with your hair, he couldn't help but drift off into his memories.

•

"Do you want me to go punch him? You know I would." He kept silent and just took your hand until you got on the bed with him. "Or maybe I could go your style and stab him. Lightly."

"I just want to forget about that." You nodded and laid back. You let him lay his head on your chest. You wrapped your arms around him, as if you could protect him from the world. "He is my dad too, I don't understand why he always listens to Thor and not me."

"As I said, I'd gladly punch him for you. I don't care if he is a king."

"Thor's coronation will arrive soon enough. I don't think he'll ever realize that I could be king too." You had to hold back your anger at his so called family, you had to hold it back because now all he needed was a warm place, which he always found with you. He stayed quiet, playing gently with the necklace hanging from your neck, which he gave you all those months ago.

If he could, he'd stay here with you until the end of eternity. He would stay home.

"Rest now, my love, I'll be here when you wake up."

•

You woke up to Loki. He turned his head to you and gave you a light kiss to the crown of your head.

"How long was I asleep?" you stretched a bit before falling back onto Loki.

He was still here.

"About an hour, do you want me to get you some food?"

"No." you shook your head at him, he was scared of the glint in your eye. "I'll go get it myself."

"Darling, do not ignite this fire for nothing." He knew it was futile, once you set your mind on something there was nothing to do.

"I don't care, they'll deal with it. I need you now. I tried to do it quietly but they just won't listen so I'm just going to do it like you would. A big 'fuck you' to them."

"Maybe consider at least-"

"We both know I am stubborn, so you are going to come with me and we are going to get food." He remembered you being feisty but not to this level, you grabbed his arm and walked out of the door.

It could be over a week from now, but right now you just needed him with you, and they needed to realize that.

"Well then, let's do this properly." Loki smirked when he stopped you, and you matched him when he put his arms around you, and in the next second you were just outside of the kitchen.

The Avengers in the living room stilled at your sudden appearance. Steve was nowhere in sight, neither was Bucky.

"I'm going to get us food, stay here." You gave him a playful peck on the lips and went to the kitchen.

Natasha joined you a moment after.

"What are you doing?" she leaned on the wall when you pulled out some leftover pizza.

"Heating up some pizza, do you want some?"

"You know that's not what I asked," you turned your back to her, walking to the microwave. "Why him? He is not-"

"How would you know if he is not right for me? You don't know me, or him." You turned back to her, furious. You were surprised to see the momentary offended look in her eyes.

"Do you know him? He changed. There are things that you don't know, that we do."

"I know him better than all of you, even better than Thor. I know enough about him to know who he is and who he is not." Scoffing, you got out the slices of pizza.

"It's been a while since you saw him last, and by the looks of it he hurt you pretty badly, a lot has changed for both him and you."

"Do you really think I don't know that?"

"I'm just saying, Y/N, how do you know he won't hurt you again?" you took the plates to the table.

"I don't."

"I'm just looking out for you. So does he."

She didn't have to specify, you had no clue what you were going to do with him.

"You are practically a mini Steve at times, always so stubborn." She left you at that.

Loki was outside of the kitchen, just around the corner in the common room he stood with a sly smirk when some of the Avengers were in edge when he sat.

He decided to use the opportunity to study them, when one caught his eye. The scarlet witch. He hadn't met her before, yet she seemed to have a certain connection to you, she was unaffected by the commotion earlier that day.

She returned his gaze and he was suddenly affected by a weird daze. She was in his mind.

Raising a brow at her, he let her try to find something, he was stronger. He felt something crack in his mind and he could see it clear as day.

Thor and his friends were talking in the bar, drinking as usual, when he felt an urge to go back to your arms, longing to just sit with you and watch one of those silly shows you love so much.

He quickly excused himself and as fast as he could, he evaded all the eyes so he could get to Midgard the fastest.

He stood in the middle of your living room, not wanting to scare you (again). It took him a second to get his bearing when he realized the scene in front of him. Two men in dark outfits were there, when they turned he knew they were no ordinary men. And they were clearly not wanted here.

On instinct and fear he pulled out two daggers and stabbed them both in the necks before they could retaliate. When he was sure they were down, he sent them somewhere far away. His eyes frantically looked around for you. Only then when it was silent he could hear your short breaths and whimpers.

"Y/N? My love?" he went towards the bathroom which was locked, not missing a beat he got inside and saw you crying and scared on the corner, holding a hair straightener as a weapon.

"Loki?" you lowered the weapon and Loki crouched down beside you, taking your shaking body in his arms.

"Oh my love, I'm here. Don't worry, I'm here." He held you close as you let out sobs until you calmed down and your breathing went back to normal.

"I heard voices and I hid here but I didn't have my phone with me, I forgot it. They would've found me and I couldn't call for anyone, Loki." He only hushed down your panicked voice.

"I promise no harm will ever come to you when you have me, I'll always be here." He picked you up and took you to bed, spreading endless kisses all over your face.

You were curled on top of him until you fell asleep safe and sound. Once Loki was sure you were sleeping, he started chanting. He was going to make sure you were protected when he wasn't around. He put up wards around your apartment with the oldest and strongest spell he knew. By the end of it he was tired, but it was all worth it for you. Anything was worth it.

He had never felt such fear.

It was hard to keep his strong demeanor up after the triggered memory. Looking at the witch all he saw was a surprised look, he had clearly underestimated her abilities. It won't happen again.

He heard your footsteps and was eager to get out and away from the witch when the elevator doors opened and there the Captain stood, alongside the Sergeant and the Falcon.

The blue eyes were trained on him. Then they moved to a figure behind him.

The falcon put a hand on his shoulder. Steve let out a chuckle when Loki went up and stood next to you.

"The literal cold blooded killer? Are you sure about your choice here, kid?" his jaw was set, but his eyes showed more.

"He's here to help you. And yes." You took Loki's hand and kept contact with Steve.

You barely heard Bucky mutter under his breath.

"Aren't everyone in this room killers, Captain?" Loki challenged.

"Some of us have an actual reason, not an excuse." He countered.

"Steve, maybe we should let it go for now" Bucky whispered to Steve and the two of you walked back to the kitchen for your ready meal. Said meal being pizza.

"An excuse," you scoffed. "You did something bad yes, but you're not making excuses for it, you don't have an excuse for it you are just redeeming yourself and getting better. You are just setting things right."

You whispered the last part, but it didn't matter because you drifted off into your head, not noticing Loki's quiet demeanor.

•

That night, Loki lay with you in your bed wide awake as you drifted asleep next to him.

The events of the day stuck to him, the memory lingered in his mind as if it happened just mere hours ago, the strike of fear. He did not think about that day often, but he knew exactly where the witch took it from.

He stood in the middle of your apartment; you still weren't home, so he decided to walk around the place that held so many memories of him and you. The first time you invited him over; your first kiss; the first time he told you about his powers; the first I love you. But to every first time there is also a last.

He hid the numerous cuts he had. You'd probably fuss about how he would need 20 stitches before taking care of him.

It was well into the night now here on Midgard when you walked through the door. A big smile adorned your face when you saw Loki. Putting your bags down, you quickly locked the door and ran up to hug him. He held himself back from the itch to hold you and hug you. You pulled back then, looking at Loki who had a stoic look in his eyes.

"Loki, what's wrong?" the longer he looked at you, the more it started to hurt him. You weakened him.

"I'm going back to Asgard. And I will not come back to Midgard." You stepped away. One hand wrapped around your waist as the other clutched the necklace on your neck. He felt the tears brimming in his eyes at your hurt look. He could hide his tears, he knew you couldn't hide yours, but he had to go through with this.

"What? Loki, what do you mean?"

It was a hard talk. Both of you were hurt but only one showed it.

He had to do this. He had to be the one to walk out and set you free.

•

You woke up with a gasp, taking in your surroundings you were glad to see Loki was still asleep. Getting up, you decided to get some fresh air and went up to the roof.

The cold breeze hit the bare skin of your arms and suddenly you regretted not having taken a blanket with you. The city looked so calm when you looked at this from this height, so clean and collected. Then again, you knew it was because of the height, everything was uglier up close.

Leaning in on the railway, you looked out and tried to clear your mind.

"Cold?" you turned around surprised to find Steve there, getting up from where he sat.

"Were you there the whole time?" he nodded to you and you didn't complain when he put on you his big sweatshirt. You certainly didn't complain about the warmness it brought you.

You kept staring forward when he leaned on the railway next to you.

"You know I'm more stubborn than you, right?" you scoffed at that.

"No you're not!"

"Ask Bucky, he will tell you."

"Bucky knows I am just as stubborn as you." He shook his head fondly at you, then his face fell a bit when he looked at you.

"What are you doing, kid?" Steve turned to look at you. "He is bad news, you are smarter than that."

"I am smarter than that, I am smarter than to judge someone you don't know. I know Loki better than all of you do!" you turned to him, crossing your arms, still holding the sweatshirt close to you.

"How do you know him that way? You said you haven't seen him in years. Maybe he wasn't a mass murderer back then but he is now." You could tell he was getting angrier trying to get you to understand him. People kept saying that you are Steve's daughter, so you are not one to back down.

"He did bad things yes but he changed, now he is here to help us and fix things!" you stomped your foot in the ground.

"He is here because of the Asgardian weapons, he is not here for you Y/N! wake up, he will only hurt you!"

"He is still here, with me!" you felt the angry tears brimming.

"How can you still love him? That creature that he is!"

"Don't call him that!"

"But he-"

"No! you can't judge me for loving him!"

"It's wrong Y/N, he is not good for you, I won't allow it." He yelled again in his captain voice and you have had enough. Apparently he did too.

"Steve you can't judge me!" he was walking away from you and from the conversation before you yelled at him and he faltered. "You only knew Peggy for a short period of time and yet you still felt so much for her even when you weren't together. And even after you woke up and managed to find her! I knew Loki for way longer than that and I loved him for more, so you can't blame me for still loving him today and going back to him!"

The heat of the moment didn't let you apologize for what you said, but when he walked out of your view only then did you realize what you said and you wished you could take it back.

You didn't want to hurt him like this.

•

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love

#loki #my writing #out of the woods #1989 #loki x reader #loki odinson #taylor swift #fluff #angst #loki laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki odinson x reader #fanfiction #1989 taylor's version #loki angst #loki fluff #loki imagine #loki show

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animedaddymilkers · 3 years

Text

Kinkmas 2020: Day 20

Prompt: Size Kink w/ Kisame

Genre: Smut/18+ || Tags: Size Kink, Comfort, Tummy Bulge, Cum-Flation, Fingering, Penetrative Sex || Characters: Kisame Hoshigaki, Female Reader || read it on ao3 here

"Hi, can I help you find any…anything?" your customer service voice chimed out, only stuttering over your words when you finally looked up and up and up and met the eyes of the customer in front of you.

Said customer was a hulk of a man, though the bluish tint to his skin had you questioning even that part. You were used to being generally small and short but the height of this man made you remember that all the more. Still, you had a job to do and kept the cheerful smile plastered onto your face. The man turned around and looked down at you rather amused, though you were relieved when his face broke out in a smile.

"Why yes, I need help finding some bandages and perhaps a new shirt," his voice boomed out, nearly sending you to your knees at the pure baritone nature of it.

Only now did you notice the tatters in his shirt and the gash covering his torso, "Oh, gosh, okay! H-Here just follow me!"

Clamoring about you collected medical equipment and grabbed his hand, leading him to the back of the shop after flipping the open sign to closed. You sat him down at your simple kitchen chair, which almost looked comical under his large form. But you didn't have time to ogle over the sight of him as he was still actively bleeding. Your hands prepped the supplies quickly and you were about to start fixing him up when his hands wrapped around yours, effectively stopping you.

"You don't need to do this, little dewdrop. I can do it myself."

Besides the affectionate nickname catching you off guard, you steeled your resolve and shook your head at him, "Please, let me do this! I don't see how you can stitch yourself up with your hands shaking so!"

He raised an eyebrow and looked to his hands holding yours. Sure enough, even while clasped around yours, his hands were shaking. Damn, the injury must be affecting him more than he thought. With a defeated sigh he let your hands go and leaned back into the chair, the wood ominously creaking beneath his weight. You sat on another chair in front of him and went to work, first, discarding him of the tattered shirt barely covering him. Still, to see his chest completely bare had your cheeks heating up. Your hands pressed against his abdomen to put pressure on the wound, intent to stop the blood. As you held your hands there the man in front of you rubbed his face.

"How did you get this injury?"

"Best not for you to ask questions, little one," so much for small talk.

"Can I at least have your name?"

The man seemed to think about it for a moment before answering, "Kisame. Yours?"

You gave him your name and reveled in the small smile he offered you after hearing it. After the introduction he seemed to relax slightly, allowing just a bit of small talk between you two. He told you he was injured in a fight, though he wouldn't go into too much detail and you wouldn't ask. The blood flow finally slowed and you took the cloth away, throwing it into a nearby bin. Then you set about cleaning the wound, frowning when Kisame tensed at the antiseptic that no doubt burned. Your other hand grabbed his and held it tight to support him through the pain. Briefly, you took in the sheer size difference of your hands, your own barely as big as his palm. After cleaning, you carefully bandaged the gash, paying mind to patch it up so it hopefully wouldn't rip open again.

"Thank you."

It was a simple statement, but it conveyed a tone of finality, that he was leaving and you turned from putting the supplies away, "You still need a shirt. And please, let me make you some food. It'll help you recover better."

Kisame should have turned down the offer, but you were hospitable and altogether unassuming. So, against the better judgment, he was trained with, he accepted your offer. Thankfully, you had a meal already on cooking since the morning and you dished out two bowls for the two of you. As you ate, it felt natural and easy to sit across from each other and chat. The conversation flowed from topics of your favorite colors, to what you thought about the fate of stray dogs. There was no rhyme or reason to what you talked about and that's what made it interesting. But, as Kisame finished his fourth bowl, you realized it was once again drawing to a close. You weren't sure why, maybe it was his attractive looks, but you didn't want to say goodbye to him. He offered to help do dishes and you actually accepted his help, if only to keep him around that much longer. Again, that only lasted for a handful of minutes until you were left shifting from foot to foot as both of you stood around in silence.

"You… You could always stay the night," you offered boldly before quickly adding, "To help you heal more, of course!"

His eyebrows raised before he nodded at your second part, "Of course, of course. You're right. It would help. I'll stay. Do you have an extra bed?"

Your face dropped slightly and you laughed a bit nervously, "Uhh, well, no, but you can have my bed! There's room enough for you."

"And enough for you too? Well, 'suppose even if not, you could always sleep on top of me, dewdrop," Kisame stated plainly before laughing at your sheepish reaction.

"I-I suppose," your cheeks heated up at the image of you curled up on his chest, another reaction that Kisame didn't miss.

He leaned down until he was eye level, grinning suavely, "I still need to repay you for patching me up, so name your price, and don't be shy about it."

You thought about it for a moment, knowing he wouldn't accept 'nothing' as an answer, "Kiss me."

"Damn, that's a pretty cheap price for a wrap job. But I guess I shouldn't complain. I'll gladly kiss you a million times over," with that, Kisame lifted you from the floor so your face was level with his.

Wrapping your legs around his torso, careful to mind his wound, you rested your hands on his broad shoulders. His smile was contagious and even as he leaned in for the kiss it was all a bit surreal. The soft lips against yours tasted, unlike anything you ever kissed before. Reminiscent of salt with a spearmint kick to it, almost like taffy. It was far from bad and when he went to pull away you found yourself following his mouth, keeping the contact. He exhaled in amusement against you but obeyed your wishes, kissing you again and again. His large hands supported your bottom, one hand easily covering an entire cheek as he held you close. The sheer size of the man had you wet from the second he walked into your store and now that he was kissing you in his arms you were a bit anxious to get the show on the road if you will.

You pulled away to peel your shirt off, white eyes taking in every inch of newly revealed skin. The shirt landed somewhere in the hallway as Kisame wandered through to what he deemed your bedroom. Not like it was hard to spot anyway, it was the only room that had a bed in the middle. Gingerly, he laid you down on the bed and snickered.

"You're definitely going to have to sleep on top of me," He grinned and kissed down your jaw to your neck.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," you responded in a breath, moaning at the way he sucked on your skin.

The sharp teeth so close to your jugular had your heart beating a bit faster. Though you were almost positive Kisame wouldn't hurt you, just knowing there was a possibility turned you on even more. He nipped slightly and you gasped at the feeling before letting out a moan. The reaction was exactly what he wanted and he took it as an invitation to do more to you, a hand placing itself between your legs and rubbing you through your pants. A grin spread across his face as he felt your wetness even through the material and went about undoing them, eager to see just how soaked you were. Once completely bare he slipped twin fingers down, damn you really were soaked. He pushed the thick digits inside, slowly working you open and making a comment about how he needed to stretch you.

Foolishly, you thought that just meant fingering you for a few minutes and then the main event, but you couldn't have been more wrong. Just when you thought you were going to get fucked, Kisame instead pushed a third, thick finger inside of you. You were already a moaning mess but he still pumped his fingers in and out, working you open even more. He curled his fingers just right and before long you were having your first orgasm of the night. Finally, he pulled all of his fingers out and began kicking your juices off. His fingers then hooked into his pants and boxers, pushing them down and off, leaving you gasping at the sight of what lay underneath.

Words were unfathomable as you took in the absolute fear-invoked of a cock he had. Truly, when people wrote about a cock able to split a person in two, there was a picture of him next to it. It made sense now as to why he went to such lengths to prep you and still you thought maybe he should go back to prepping you more. Yet you didn't voice any of those fears, the feeling of lust overtaking you and you decided you needed to try and take it right then and there. Kisame seemed to notice though and asked if you had any lube, pouring a copious amount onto his length before flipping you onto all fours. Like the horny bitch you currently were, you pressed your face down and wiggled your ass in the air slightly, begging him to fuck you already.

"You look so good like this, dewdrop. I'm going to fuck you so good. You're gonna look so sexy trying to take as much of my dick as you can."

His lewd words earned a moan from you and the tip of his cock nudged against your entrance. Slowly and carefully, he pushed inside of you, listening for any cues from you for him to stop, but when none came he went as far as your pussy would allow him to. For a moment, he stayed still, the sheer size of him spearing you had you moaning and gripping at the sheets nearly losing your mind. He barely got halfway in, but that was still impressive for your first time taking him. Inch by inch he pulled out until the tip was the only thing left inside of you before pushing back in, forcing you open again. You whined and wiggled your ass slightly, needing more movement from him, no matter how much it could potentially hurt.

Kisame groaned and obliged, pulling his hips out a bit quicker before thrusting back in. His heavy balls slapped against your clit, sending shivers down your spine. Where other lovers would lean down and kiss your shoulder, Kisame easily leaned over and caught your mouth in a kiss, not having to worry about stretching to reach at all. His large hands played with your tits, tugging on your nipples like they were toys. Though even with all the rippling pectorals and sheer body size, each of his touches were soft and playful. He pounded into you and you came at the sight of your stomach protruding with each thrust. The squeeze around him as you came was honestly a bit painful for him, but hey it's a good thing he got off on that. He helped you ride out your orgasm and then continued, almost literally, rearranging your guts.

"Fuck, dewdrop, this pussy feels so good wrapped around me, I could keep you like this forever."

Somewhere, your mind knew you only met this man today, but the overwhelming majority just didn't give a shit. He could keep you forever and it'd be a happy life. As long as it meant he'd fuck you like this, you'd be content. His hips seemed to only go faster, but with the amount of thigh muscle he was working with, it made sense. You came again when his balls hit against your clit particularly rough, sending your thighs shaking and you gripped the bedsheets desperately. Kisame groaned as you came again and his hands never stopped touching you, groping at every inch of your body.

Though it was only after your third orgasm did he start to falter himself. He grunted and gripped your shoulder a bit tighter than before, hips stuttering in their rhythm. But, he wasn't done yet and flipped you onto your back before picking the pace back up, fucking into you like a crazed animal. You weren't about to complain though and not like you could either, at this point you could barely form words longer than his name and various cusses. Kisame nipped along your collarbone, muffling his groans before he growled and shoved himself deep, covering your inner walls in white. It didn't stop there, his load felt like it kept coming and coming, the sheer feeling sending you into another orgasm. By the time he was finished your stomach had a barely yet still there bulge, thanks to the massive load he gave you. You babbled incoherent whines, whimpers, and moans and now this time, it was Kisame's turn to tend to you.

As he cleaned you up and, like promised, settled you on his chest, he grinned while rubbing your back, "Guess I should get stabbed more often."

hope you enjoyed! remember likes & reblogs help me reach more people! :D

#naruto #naruto x reader #kisame hoshigaki #kisame x reader #kisame x you #smut #naruto smut #reader insert #kinkmas 2020 #size difference

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cursed-jujutsu-san · 3 years

Note

May I request modern AU Goth/punk Choso and SFW/NSFW HCs with a short and sweet s/o?

Sorry if that’s too much to ask, and it’s fine if you aren’t used to doing Choso, he’s not really as popular as other jjk chars🧡

Of course you can honey! ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡ Thank you so much for requesting! I had alot of fun writing for Choso, I’d honestly love to write for him more since I haven’t seen alot for him actually! So please feel free to request again (〃ω〃)

P.S. I kinda went wild but hope that you enjoy! xx

[Modern AU] SFW + NSFW Headcannons - Punk/Goth Choso with a Short + Sweet S/O

SFW:

Very tall and intimidating punk-goth man with a sweet as pie and short as shortcake girlfriend

Works at a tattoo parlour which is literally next door to the bakery you work at! – he likes to spend his lunchtimes with you at the shared backspace behind the two places

Started calling you things like Honey, Honeypie, Shortcake, Little biscuit etc. as a joke but they stuck so Choso cycles between them all – anything short or dessert related is a viable nickname

You like to bring him excess goods from the bakery and every time you do this he just freezes with this big old blush on his face because CAN YOU STOP BEING CUTE FOR 5 MINUTES HE HAS A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD!!

Notorious resting bitch face

His brothers and you are the only ones that can get a positive expression from him

Your very good at reading his expressions! Everything from the slight tilt of his lips to a raised eyebrow – you actually really surprised him with how good you are at reading him

People are constantly surprised by the height and facial difference between the two of you – as well as the difference in clothing choices but we won’t really go too much into that

Because of the big height difference literally all of his clothes are baggy for your cute small frame – loves seeing you in them as well since his clothing isn’t really your usual style of clothing

At this point he’s reserved a couple of his hoodies just for you to wear

He likes to wear thick and heavy/clunky shoes that adds just that little bit of extra height to him that when he straightens up from slouching makes him even more intimidating – your constantly scolding him for slouching since it ruins his posture

Usually a good old pair of Doc Martins or some sort of Steel capped boots are his sort of thing

Did you doodle cute little things like moons + stars on the heels and rims of his shoes? Yes, yes you did! The doodles glow in the dark too

Has a habit of accidently - or subconsciously – holding your hand and gently rubbing your knuckles, this happens a lot when your sat down next to each other or just holding hands normally

Choso bought matching necklaces for you both as an anniversary gift one year – it’s a very cute heart-shaped locket set and is the only cute thing he’ll ever wear since it contains a photo of you

Your one of the only people he’ll allow to touch or do his make-up for him – it’s mainly stuff like helping him with eyeliner and the stripe across his face

He gladly helps you with you make-up as well if you want to wear some – it gives him the free excuse of getting up close to your face AND having you sit on his lap even though he can just ask for you to do that anyway

when he has his hair down from his two ponytails you run your fingers though his hair and he absolutely melts into you

Please help him paint his nails, he can’t get an even coating of polish for the life of him onto his nails

Once a heavy smoker, he’s cut back a lot since entering a relationship with you, but he still has a faint smell of nicotine about him – he hates the sad puppy eyes you give him when you catch him smoking too much

You make him cute badges and patches

Very protective of you – your very cute and so very sweet and he doesn’t want anyone to take advantage of that fact

Will sometimes just randomly send you a song or a meme that reminded him of you

Points at small things and says, “is this you?” - you in turn point at tall things and say the same thing

You bought him flowers and chocolates once and he almost malfunctioned – “I saw these flowers Choso and thought of you! Aren’t they beautiful?” - so you made it your personal goal to bring him flowers and chocolate at least once a month

He has absolutely mixed an energy drink and coffee together at one point much to your confusion + panic

Has a slight coffee problem

He’s usually the first to wake up so will make you both breakfast

Will use you as a pillow to nap on - Choso doesn’t care where or when if he’s tired and your lap or shoulder is open then its free real estate

NSFW:

First and foremost! Man’s positively packing

He’s one of those where you have absolutely no expectations going into sex but afterwards...oh boy! He’s changed the game and you can’t picture anybody else but him

Will get horny over you just wearing a hoodie or t-shirt of his with only your underwear on underneath - But then again, he’s just horny on main for you anyway!

Spends a lot of time prepping you

Could spend hours between your thighs just to hear more of your cute noises

If you tug/grip his hair, then it gets him more riled up and he’ll just pick up the pace

Choso’s always happy to receive blowjobs especially since he gets to see your pretty little mouth wrapped so nicely around hic cock, big doe eyes dewy with a lust filled light f as you stare up at him from between his legs

Nice and vocal – lots of husky moans and breathless whispers – seriously Choso seems to get x10 louder

Lots of kissing - their very gentle, borderline feeling like butterfly kisses

Choso will leave hickies all up your thighs, breasts, and neck

When you leave hickies on him then he wears his with pride because his little cutie marked his skin so of course he’s gonna be happy about it

Will overstimulate you to a degree

Loves cockwarming – this man will just sit and do something else, nude as the day he was born while your sat a drooling mess on his cock

Can get really handsy with your breasts, hips + thighs and your butt

Loves your blissed-out face and cute moans

Will nuzzle and pant into your neck

Very gentle with aftercare - he gets even more affectionate with you, lots of gentle hugging, tracing shapes on your skin and placing small kisses on your lips

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk Choso x reader #jujutsu kaisen choso x reader #punk/goth choso #punk/goth choso x reader #request #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk headcanons

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ninja-bitch · 4 years

Note

Hold up I just discovered you and saw that you like Kankuro ? I like him too! It's the first time I see someone who likes him, so maybe would you write hc for Kankuro confessing and maybe a little NSFW? Also I wanted to ask if you write for boruto era or if you only write till a certain point, lot of love! <3

YES ANON I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I’M GLAD SOME PEOPLE LIKE HIM TOO!!!

He is the superior brother Gaara who

I just like characters no one cares about in naruto tbh.

I’m kinda doing my own thing and I am deliberately choosing to ignore the events of Boruto and ignore most of canon too, to be honest I don’t even follow it. I’d say I stopped following around the end, like I only read some chapters. I didn’t really like it I’ll be honest. But I did watch those blank period thingy and liked them though. I am a huge fraud. I just like the characters.

I ended up writing some asshole kankuro HCs but y’know... I often get carried away. Hope you like it still <3 Thank you love

Kankuro confessing Hcs (slightly NSFW)

I feel like Kankuro would be the type to be friends with a person first. Or at least know them for awhile before he truly starts being interested. As in more than just lust, because I think he is a horny bitch.

BUT I also have this very vivid scenario where he’s just in some sort of love/hate relationship with someone he knows and it’s just how his pining translates. He is kind of an asshole to them like 24/7. And I’m going to talk about that because I have horrible tastes.

And I mean it. In that kind of scenario he would be a huge ass to them. He wouldn’t like others to be though.

Has some nicer moments though and actually pays a lot of attention to them, what they like, where they like to go during their down time. Wouln’t show it much though. He might, he just might if he learns they’re facing some difficult time. He may also push too much at a bad time and it would end in a real argument or in them just not wanting to stay around him. So good job kankuro

He would just love this though, the whole I’m the only one that’s allowed to give you shit, but I’d kill anyone before they even tried.

Would love if they answered with the same...say...spite. Would love someone that could play that game.

Now it could end with him both flirting and being a jackass to them I’ll be honest, they wouldn’t know what to think. Like he’s just flirting to get something out of them, to push them to their limits. If they like him, they may get hurt.

He is not stupid though, he knows he is interested, he may just get a bit sweeter and try to get closer to them like that. Would still tease a lot.

He would get hurt himself if they talked shit about his puppets or his family. Now he’d fight them for real.

Or just become far meaner and down to earth. Maybe even drop some hurtful truth in between it all. Sometimes he does that I think.

He can get very harsh but often it ends up being a good thing. You’d have to have thick skin. Some people don’t work like that.

No but that’s got me thinking, he would give so much shit to a crush of his. Like he’d want them at their best and he would be the meanest bitch in town just to get them there. Very blunt too.

Starting a relationship with him is complicated.

Now all of that was dare I say, only the crush part, because if he were to seriously consider starting a relationship he’d have pretty contradictory standards. I said he’d like someone with verve and spite and someone that would play that same game and have thick skin. But he would hate if they were too immature. Which can be contradictory. He does have very serious moments and he wants to get with someone that isn’t too naive or just straight up an ass to be an ass. If that make sense. It’s an art he’s almost mastered, the balance between playing this kind of jackass game, telling someone when they’re being straight up stupid and being a good, reliable and loving person to those he’s close to. I don’t know if I’m making any sense just roll with it. Also I want him to push me in the sand when I say some out of pocket shit

Now a confession would happen during an argument, or because they scared him I think. He could also just take them on a date, without necessarily mentioning that it’s a date. Not nice Or he could just let it slip in a softer moment like I mentioned before....That would be the most embarrassing for him but he’d just go with it.

He could wait a long time before confessing too. Maybe even do it only after a third party picked up on all that shit and told him to get his act together.

I think a confession might lead to sex. And I’m not saying that because you asked for maybe some NSFW. I do seriously think he’d be one to move pretty quickly once everything’s sorted out.

I think there would be a lot of tension and a lot of things that would need to be talked about later but he’d jump anyone then and there if they returned his feelings tbh. Like fan-fucking-nally we’re getting somewhere. He is horny and also he was sort of worried he’d get rejected. Because he knows he is difficult and an huge ass

A first time (not as in first time first time) with him like that would be pretty quick and hot and he would eat them out/suck them off, and make a point of pleasuring them to show that he is indeed good, give them another reason to stay. Maybe he’s afraid they’ll change their mind so sex is definitely his go to, to kinda reassure himself I think. Nah but this man has some fingers and tongue game i swear. and filthy mind too. Of course you’ll stay

After that he would still be kind of an asshole, be warned.

I just described a whole scenario A SCENARIO I WANT TO BE A PART OF it could be a different though, definitely. I have several scenarios in mind lmao. Maybe I’m too thirsty for this dude bye

#kankuro x reader #kankuro #naruto headcanons #naruto imagines #we do not proof read we die like men #I am too thirsty for this man tho #stop me #I kept it SFW mostly tho #but I am looking

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ohshitmomitsawritingblog · 4 years

Note

Yeesss an active Naruto account! So glad I found you 💗 I really like how you portrayed Kakashi in your last post and I would like to request J, O and Y for Kakashi and Hidan pls 💕

Yeaahhhhh!! nart fandom is still going strong even in 2020! I started to re-read nart back in November of ‘19 and was really surprised at how active the fandom still was on twitter and tumblr. Im really glad you decided to shoot me a message! I really appreciate it, thank you so much! I’ll be real I saw your message and kind of lost it a little today, I was very nervous about Kakashi’s section so it’s really nice to hear that someone liked it!

Kakashi

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Jealous? Kakashi? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes? No! Maybe. 💕

Kakashi DOES NOT know how to function 80% of the time. It takes him a while to sort out his personal feelings - he thinks he knows what he feels, but when it comes to emotions, like jealousy, that demand a bit more naunce? It feels like fog is clouding over the word he’d otherwise be able to plainly zero in on.

Kakashi’s jealousy is quiet and something he fiercely keeps under wraps. I think there’s nothing that matters more to him in a relationship than his partner’s freedom and sense of self esteem, and I think he views jealousy as a kind of ownership/overstep he should be ashamed of rather than a human emotion that is neither inherently good nor bad by itself.

Kakshi gets jealous rarely, but when he does, it’s hard to swallow the feeling of shame that accompanies it.

Kakashi is a prodigy, okay, he’s an amazing ninja and cook and house keeper amongst many other things, but he’s still really, really bad at the nuances of being human. Especially a human who isn’t ruled by his PTSD. His S/O spends too much time at work during his rare off day, and the rare pang of jealousy - that he does not act on in any way - makes him so uncomfortable that he has to busy himself with something until they get home. And then he almost seems stand offish. It’s his way of giving them space, but his S/O couldn’t understand the reasoning behind it unless they spend years with him or have several conversations about it.

Basically, he’s spent so much of his life truly alone, socializing largely in a work environment context, that he has no idea how to operate in a domestic relationship.

On the flip side, Kakashi is so hellbent on hammering down the little every day pangs of petty jealousy he feels that when something big happens, like a stranger flirting with his S/O? He sticks his nose into the situation immediately.

If it wasn’t sad it’d almost be hilarious - Kakashi can’t tell the difference the difference between situational, and relatively minor emotional bangs that feel similar to jealousy, to outright being DEEPLY territorial of his S/O.

Does he think they’ll flirt back? Hell no. Does he immediately chase off the guy with a well timed arm slung over his S/O’s shoulders and a bit of killing intent rolling off him in waves anyways? Absolutely.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Kakashi in love doesn’t show that he’s in love often. He’s a secretive guy and honestly, if he’s in love, he’s going to try to hide it as long as possible. From everyone.

This is only partially because Kakashi is shy about love - about 60% of the reason behind keeping things private is because he wants to hit that sweet ten year anniversary date and throw that fact out casually during a group luncheon and see the chaos unfold.

He also does legitimately struggle with being open and intimate. He worries his S/O will think he’s embarrassed by them, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Kakashi in love is all about small intimacies. The brush of his fingers over his S/O’s bicep, the touch to the small of their back. Kakashi is surprisingly handsy, even in public.

Of course, he’s a ninja, and he’s a little self conscious, so he usually does this in such a way that people don’t even catch it.

He doesn’t hold hands in public, no way.

He never lets them walk on his blind side. He just likes looking at them.

I can see Kakashi liking to touch his S/O’s hair often. He’ll pat the top of their head if they’re on the shorter side, tucking a stray lock behind their ear if their hair is long enough. There’s something so intimate about it, and Kakashi likes how quiet that touch feels to him. Sometimes it feels even better than kissing his S/O.

He picks them up from work most days, and they walk home together. In fact, the biggest tell that Kakashi is in love is when he spends most of his evenings with his S/O.

He cooks for, or more typically, with, his S/O almost every night. He likes spending quality, domestic time with them. It’s his way of slowly wading back into the very concept of cohabiting with someone after years of being alone.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Kakashi misses his partner a lot. I’m going to assume the most common reason for their separation is missions.

Kakashi as a young adult seemed married to his ANBU career, with his S/O as a side chick at best.

Post team seven, he’s a little better with his schedule, but Tsunade relies on him a lot and it’s not like he can just tell her no.

And then as Hokage? Well, actually sneaking out of the office seems to be like a fun new game to him, so–

Anyways, I think Kakashi copes pretty well, if only because separation is a constant in his life.

I think he has times where he’ll space out thinking about his S/O in the wee hours of the night when he can’t sleep. Otherwise, he’s focused on the mission. He needs to make it out of his assignments alive in order to see them again after all, and Kakashi post team seven doesn’t have a death wish.

If he has an S/O during his ANBU days, his thoughts are more obsessive, fixated on the only source of warmth in his life that he’s allowed himself to have. I can imagine a few scenarios when he’s with someone in this very dark period of his life, and the entire thing could only be described as intense.

Anyways, pining is for people who can afford to get stabbed.

Ultimately, I don’t think anyone could ever tell Kakashi was missing anyone. He may seem a little quietly sad in moments, or maybe sigh for no reason, but I doubt anyone even knows he’s with anyone for years. See the above section.

Hidan

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Surprisingly, I don’t see Hidan as a jealous guy!

If he is jealous at all, it’s over something minuscule and ultimately harmless, like being apart for a large gap of time.

He doesn’t think his S/O would cheat (he’s a man devoted to god and his faith, has a blooming career AND a six pack, what more could a person want?) but it’s more so longing that turns into jealousy only when he toys with the idea of his S/O not feeling the same kind of longing. He wants his partner to mirror his feelings and doesn’t like feeling like his absence is easily glossed over. He totally gets into his own head and overthinks things.

He’s the type to gripe at his S/O. I feel like whining and slinging around insults is how Hidan communicates best and it gets even worse when he feels threatened or anxious.

He actually needs verbal reassurances a lot.

He’ll keep bitching until his S/O consoles him or speaks frankly with him.

I think Hidan’s partner is someone who could take care of themselves, so if they were ever the subject of unwanted attention, Hidan would step only to play up some white knight fantasy gone rogue. He’ll beat up (or murder) the offender and then make out with his S/O like some horny wild man.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Hidan in love is actually pretty low key. I think for Hidan, there’s flings, and then there’s the person he loves, who he’s gonna settle down with. He just assumes his life will be full of flings that are mostly for sexual gratification until he meets his S/O.

Totally does not expect to fall in love, ever, so he has no idea how to deal with it when it happens.

I think he prays a lot more when he’s in love. For spiritual clarity or forgiveness for these ‘weak’ feelings in him that presumably conflict with the teachings of Jashin, I’m not sure.

Kakuzu notices this and bitches at Hidan for wasting their time, but eventually stops when even he realizes how much conflict Hidan seems to radiate off of him in the early days of his romance.

Hidan also gets more violent, as if to compensate for being in love with his S/O. He goes on a straight up killing spree once he completely admits it to himself.

Comes to the conclusion that being in love actually makes him a better follower of Jashin, since he slaughters droves of people for the sake of your relationship.

Around his S/O, Hidan seemingly goes from incredibly tense and broody -almost guilt ridden in some odd way - when he hangs out with them, to something flipping a switch in his head and him going back to his normal, brash self. It’s weird. He kiss his S/O like he’s trying to eat them in public now. It’s kind of hot.

Hidan is such a freak that even the Akatsuki, which is a collection of freaks, don’t get that this entire slow burn horror movie scenario was over love until Hidan very loudly complains that he was interrupted mid-fuck during a summons. Someone mentions paying the sex worker extra for the interrupted time and tells him to get some ice.

Hidan scuffs and loudly announces that he’s with his PARTNER right now. Kakuzu confirms but only sounds mildly annoyed because he’a eating Hidan’s S/O’s food and watching Hidan’s S/O’s TV.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Hidan pouts. So much.

Typically if it’s just a few weeks or days, Hidan doesn’t really give any outward indication of missing his S/O. He knows he’ll see them soon. He’s a chill guy when he’s not murdering people for pleasure and religious clout. The longer that gap of time is though? He goes from ambivalent to mess FAST.

It’s like someone flipped a switch after month three of his not seeing his S/O and someone brings them up and he’s like. Wait. When’s the last time I saw them again? And then his brain fuzzes out of existence momentarily when he does the math.

For real: Hidan is one of those guys who tries to be real macho about his S/O and him being apart for so long, but once he starts to think about it it eats him up.

He goes from trying too hard to insist he doesn’t miss them, to sulking on day two. Kakuzu wants to kill Hidan at least 200% more than usual because when Hidan sulks, he’s like a little kid.

He gets this sour look that just never goes away. He hunches his shoulders. Kicks the dirt or gravel on the road when they stop to rest for the day. Kakuzu would be inclined to ask what’s wrong but he knows better to open that can of worms.

Also does he really care about this undead shithead kid’s emotional problems? Only kind of.

He’s a ninja, not a therapist, and he’s making ninja money. Does Hidan have therapist money? Hidan doesn’t even have shirt money.

The pouty phase lasts for a while. It becomes less apparent, but as it turns inwards, Hidan becomes more violent.

Ahh, good ol’ Murder-violence! He gets more aggressive (if that’s possible) and prays more. Way more.

On a more serious note, it does actually give Hidan solace to pray and affirm that if Jashin wills it, he and his S/O will see each other soon. He promises his Lord a plentiful sacrifice when that happens.

Once he sees his S/O again he pretends like he’s totally chill absolutely chill and didn’t even miss them one bit! He ruffles their hair and gives them that rough side hug that jocky, slightly redneck older cousins give.

#praisingkuroosbedhead #kakashi x oc #kakashi x reader #hidan x oc #hidan x reader #hidan imagines #kakashi imagines #naruto imagines #i hope hidan is okay ive never written for him before #it got a little silly and weirdly detailed but i had fun #Hidan is a hoot #fluff alphabet #kakashi hatake #hidan

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thorinthehottotty · 4 years

Text

May 22nd - Lyn's Writing Event - Thorin

Prompt - Body Swap

A/N: I'm really glad I read everyone else's first. I started writing Thorin experiencing menstruation for the first time but Jay already has that covered with her John Porter story which was great! I want to rewrite this later, I'm just mentally kaput.

Summary: It's been three days that you and Thorin have been in each other's bodies from some enchanted elven wine. With no idea how to reverse it's effects, you two are stuck hiding it from as many people as possible.

Warnings: implied smut, smut, language, shitty writing (I'm half asleep)

Three days had come since you'd woken in the body of the dwarf king. Three days of growing frustrations, temper tantrums and bitching. You and Thorin were no closer to discovering a cure for your ailment as you were before all of this.

Thandruil still hadn't replied to Thorin's raven on how the hell his wine switched you both.

So that left you both hiding away with only Dwalin and Balin knowing the truth. They'd told everyone you'd both come down with a strange illness and were out of commission, leaving Fíli in charge of Erebor!

At least today was fairly tame. It had been incredibly awkward to start. Bathroom breaks, while much easier for you, Thorin struggled. You were the reluctant one at first, complaining of invading his privacy. But after the first piss (where you totally didn't take a good look at just what he was packing) you're confidence was soaring. He was not prepared for your to sprint out of the chamberpot to babble excitedly about how easy it was.

His experience was less than ideal. Remember to wipe front to back, no you can't drip dry, and let me know if there's blood were all repeated to him everytime he heads for the washroom attached to his chambers. Now that you were both hiding out in them together, it made for loads of fun, not.

Thorin heaves a sigh and stands, meandering over to his book shelf and trying to reach for another book. He pushed up onto his toes to do it. Oh, hot damn. The position really made your ass and thighs pop.

A newly familiar stirring begins between your legs. You popped boners less often than you expected but it was still frequent.

When he turns back around his face crumbles into a ornery glower. "What's that stupid smirk for?"

"It's your stupid smirk." He glares at you harshly.

"Why?" Your dirty smirk turns into a goofy grin.

"I've got a nice ass." He groans deeply and moves to sit back down. "What? Am I not allowed to check myself out?" His eyes narrow as you shift the tightened trousers.

"Are you getting an erection while admiring yourself?" Your grin falters and you shrug.

"I can't help it! It's your body. You can't tell me you haven't been horny yet."

"I have not."

"Oh really?" You demand, lean forward to cross your arms.

"I hardly even woke with morning iron before this. You've woken with it every day for three days," he argues.

"I can't control my dreams, Thorin. Let alone your dick! And that's bullshit! My body is constantly horny!" Thorin gave you a skeptical look.

"I have not felt the effects of it."

"Well erections feel different from it, you probably just don't recognize the feeling." Thorin ignored your comment, opting to read instead. "In my world, orgasms are different between genders. I wonder if that's true for this too." That captured his attention.

"You wouldn't dare!" He snarls, slamming his fists on the table.

"For science sake."

"I forbid it!"

"Well... I'm the king," you smirk, eyeing him. "Besides, I wouldn't do you dirty like that, even if I do have serious blue balls. I'm just saying you wouldn't recognize being horny. It's subtle for women." Thorin crosses his arms and glowers down at the breasts that get in his way.

"What would these symptoms be?"

"Tightness in the lower abdomen, tingling down south, hard nipples, lots of discharge."

"Discharge?" He repeats, confused.

"Stand up and pull down your pants." Thorin gapes in horror.

"I will do no such thing!"

"It's my body! Just do it. I'm showing you!" You stand waving him up as well. He sighs again, like he couldn't possibly be more inconvenienced, and rises. He awkwardly unties his pants and shuffles them down with his underwear. "Ah! There. See that white stuff?" He glances down. "Discharge."

"What is it, though." You flash him a naughty grin.

"It's the body's natural lubricant produced when you are aroused," you explain, then a naughty grin passes your face. "That's essentially you getting wet." Thorin's cheeks go cherry red and he quickly yanks his pants back up as you chuckle haughtily at him.

"Nonsense!"

An idea fills your mind. You know every spot that feels good on your body. You could torture him with this. You step closer, brushing a big hand up and over the back of his thigh and buttock. He goes stiff and shoves at you. "What do you think you're doing!"

"Admit, it feels good!" He glares hard.

"Don't you dare!" You snatch the back of his neck as he turns away, making him gasp as you easily drag him back, spine pressed to sternum.

His butt bumps into the bulge in the front of your pants. You brush knuckles down the side of his neck and he gives a gasp, making you grin effectively.

"Unhand me-ee!" You grin around the shell of an ear, nibbling gently. The squeak he let out completely involuntary. Letting him go, you circle back around to your spot at the table. He stares at you, red faced and shook. "You... You... Goblin!" You grin at him, mischeviously. "You are enjoying this far too much!"

"I know all the ways to rile my body up, Thorin. Try me."

He paused, eyes narrowing. As he seems to realize the game you're playing, he steps closer, looking like a dangerous animal, but in your body.

"We should be looking for a cure, not playing these games!" And with that he drops back down into a seat and roughly opens a book.

"Fine," you tell him, hands raised. You turn back to your own book and easily settle back into it. He doesn't, however. He's twitching and shifting uncomfortably in his seat. On occasion, he casts you a glare that you either ignore or smirk at. "Crossing your legs and squeezing them only gives so much relief."

He gives a frustrated groan and slams his book shut. "I detest you." It makes you grin at him.

"Come on, for science. Only one of us has to do it." Thorin glares at you harshly. "One person gets off, we know if there really is a difference." Thorin is standing and moving to you faster than you expect. He grabs your face in both hands and leans toward you.

"I do not wish for our first time making love to be tainted by us being the other person." The intimate admission shocks you.

"Do you want to make love with me?"

"Yes, for a very long time. I was going to ask you to court me. But we became too drunk on wine." Oh. That's why he invited you to dinner. You smile up at him.

"Yes. I'll court you." His face flutters in shock for only a moment, then he smiles.

"I still don't want to subject you without being in your own body."

"We don't know how long we'll be like this, so how about I give you a bit of relief? Or me?" Thorin sighs. "It's not exactly romantic. But it will help with that ache." Thorin shakes his head, chuckling softly.

"Is that really what you wish?"

"Yes!" He gives a sigh for you, nodding softly. You grin and lean forward, he pressing a hand to your shoulder, leaning back.

"I will kiss you when we return to our bodies." You pout but nod as he unties his trousers again. You waste no time slipping a hand in. He gasps in shock. "No warning?!"

You laugh at him. "Don't make me kiss you." He doesn't have time to answer as you firmly press your sausage fingers up and into his clit. He moans loudly and stumbles back into the table. "Hold on tight, Thorin. Our little friend here has more nerve endings than a cock."

He grips the edges of the table as you set to work, careful to be a little gentler in your new body, aware of the unbridled strength. And then your fingers dip back further and easily slip into Thorin's new cavern. He groans loudly, tilting his head back.

He curses in Khuzdul,legs spreading apart easily. "Is it weird I'm totally into this?" You ask.

"Stop talking," he moans.

Taglist: @dabisburntnut @fizzyxcustard @queenofmankind @tomisbaeholland

#thorin #thorin fanfiction #thorin thursday #thorin durin #thorin x you #lyn's writing event

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dategetmy802 · 3 years

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Why the f*ck did I decide this was a good idea?

Well, to be fair, I didn’t.

When Sheena suggested going speed dating, it’s not like I leaped at the idea. I thought of the whole thing as very old-school and riddled with horny old men.

Besides, I already had Tinder for awkward one-liners and terrible pickup lines. I was starting to think the night would have been better curled up in bed with my dog, tea and 'Game of Thrones.'

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Several men had already gathered outside the bar where we were supposed to meet, an unremarkable Irish pub in the Financial District. A couple of Russian women were talking about their plans to get green cards out of the night.

That's a starter, I thought. At least the women will be just as sad as the men.

Before the official speed dating began, we began chatting with two men wearing business casual. They introduced themselves as Samuel* and Camden*.

Camden, who was Australian, made a beeline for Sheena. I talked to Samuel, but his gaze kept flitting around the rest of the bar, as if he were scanning for other prospects.

I couldn't believe he was rude enough to make his boredom known. I also can’t remember the last time I finished an entire glass of wine that quickly.

Speed dating is either a fantastic idea or a terrible one. If you don’t have the balls to approach men at a bar (or if you don’t have the patience to wait it out until they do), this is a sure-fire way to buy five minutes with any man in the room.

On the flip side, there’s nothing quite like speed dating to make you realize just how long five minutes can be.

When seven o'clock struck, we began settling in booths and tables that had been set aside for us. Women stayed in the same seats throughout the night, and the men moved counter-clockwise. It felt a little like musical chairs, and I was betting that most of us would strike out.

My first real “date” was a man named Reggie*. He was obviously the oldest man in the room and clearly way over the 30-something age cap. In fact, I’d be surprised if he wasn’t in his 50s. Sir, why are you still here? Why can't you follow instructions? This is why you're single, Reggie.

Every exchange felt like an interview, so I started using an interview format with the men I didn't particularly like. I found myself asking different men the same questions:

“Is this your first time?'

“What do you do?'

“Do you have any hobbies?'

“Are you originally from New York?'

After a few forgettable dates, I met Tom*, who handed me a rose and shook my hand. There was just something so try-hard about this that it was hard not burst out laughing.

Seriously -- this guy bought an entire bouquet of roses so that he could sweeten up his predictably mundane dates. He also took notes, like an overeager kid sitting in the front row in class.

No one likes a teacher’s pet, Tom.

Vishnu* followed. Poor Vishnu. He was short, and he spoke in such a soft, thick accent that I had to ask him to repeat himself after almost every sentence. His palms were visibly sweaty. I felt so bad for him that I almost wanted us to be a match.

Mitch* was the only one who truly irritated me. He could have been attractive -- with his dark complexion and his broody eyes -- if only he didn’t tell me to “be calm in (his) presence” after I mentioned that I was tired from work.

People like this exist, ladies, and they’re hiding in plain sight, waiting to pounce on your unsuspecting, single ass.

Ricky* gave me his phone number after our conversation (illegal in speed dating). “I don’t care about the rules,” he said.

The fact that I have dogs was more than enough to get his engine revved. He had a farm -- a f*cking farm -- and was looking for someone to help run it. I mean, there's a great pickup line on its own: 'Hey, girl, want to run my farm with me?'

Let's be honest -- I probably would have said yes.

I can’t remember the next guy’s name — Paul? David? Ellis? — but our exchange was memorable enough to make my night.

I asked him a simple enough question: 'So, what are your hobbies? What do you like to do for fun?'

He responded with a typical list: hanging out with friends, the gym. Oh, and traveling. He loved to travel. Emphasis on travel.

The most rational follow-up question to this declaration was where his favorite places were to jet off to. He responded back, in total seriousness: “Florida. I love Florida. I’ve been to all the theme parks.'

I was waiting for a follow-up, a “just kidding. I’ve been to Timbuktu, and it changed my life,” but none came. He really f*cking loved Florida.

“Have you been anywhere else besides Florida?” I asked, hoping for a way to salvage this conversation.

He looked back at me meekly. “No. Just Florida. Well, I’ve been to Jersey, if that counts.'

By the time Sheena and I left (with Ricky and Samuel hot on our trail), I was horrified.

This was dating these days? Had we come to this -- to treating matchmaking like job interviews, with the same asinine questions and even more asinine answers?

I used to make fun of the girls who turned their noses up at everyone and thought they were too good for dating. But I slowly felt myself becoming one of them.

It took a few hours for the guilt to hit me.

In making fun of the try-hard Vishnu or old-fashioned Reggie, I realized I was acting like a majorly stuck-up bitch. Many of the men I met that night were simply too busy to meet women organically, like at work or a party.

Who am I to judge? I thought. I basically live my life on dating apps, and who’s to say those are any better?

Ricky texted me the next day, all smiles and excitement. I still haven’t responded. I mean, I'm not sure I want to run off and start my farm family with him.

I think I’ll still try my luck on Tinder.

*Name has been changed.

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

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Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Seven

A/N: this is kinda raunchy. I'm not sorry.

Word count: 4K

Warning(s): explicit language, explicit sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsession @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

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1981

"...Shh." Nikki chuckles out in a smile, his hand over my mouth as he comes up for a second so I can calm down. "If your parents hear you, I'm fucked."

"I'm sorry, you've been going down on me the past hour, I'm really sensetive right now, and I thought you didn't care." I whisper, quoting him from something he's said before.

He just smirks.

"I thought about it and decided if we get caught, I won't be able to do this..." He tugs my nipple with his teeth for a moment, causing me to gasp out. "...or this..." he pushes two fingers into my slick cunt and I arch my back, the delicious friction causing my body to crave more. "...or this." He goes back to where he was, his tongue working at my swollen clit.

I take in a sharp breath, trying to keep from moaning too loud as he devours me and every last drop of sticky-sweet running out of me.

"Oh, fuck, daddy." I whine out, my hips bucking up, grinding against his feasting mouth, only causing him to move his tongue faster and more deliberately.

He hums at the sound, his dark eyes glancing up at me, his hands keeping my thighs spread wide open as he sucks at my clit, making my eyes roll back, my toes curl, and a wanton moan leaves my lips as my pussy tenses and relaxes repeatedly, wanting to be filled and abused.

Nikki finishes licking the cum from between my legs, before laying beside me as my exhausted body tries to wind down.

"You don't want me to do anything for you?" I ask him, taking deep breaths, blinking slowly at him.

He shakes his head, giving me a little smile, before pulling the covers up to my chin so I don't have to.

"No, Viv, getting to eat you for over an hour straight is repayment enough." He chuckles and my face burns red.

"Quit saying it like that." I cover my face with my hands.

"That's what I was doing, was it not?"

"I guess, but you don't have to be so..." I wrinkle my nose for a second. "...I don't know."

"Oh, so you can call me 'daddy' but when I call it 'eating', it's the end of the world?" He looks at me and I narrow my eyes at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I deny his accusation and he raises his brows.

"Oh, please, Viv, you scream it out like a bitch in heat almost everytime we fuck around."

"Fine, then, I'll stop." I shrug and he snaps his attention to me.

"I didn't say I didn't like it, it's just amusing to hear it from you, of all people, Saint Viv."

"Shut up, Devil Spawn." I shove at his arm.

"Ow." He complains, rubbing his hand over where I hit him, pretending to be hurt.

I roll my eyes and he mocks me, causing me to shove at his arm again.

"Do it again, see what happens." He threatens and I, spitefully, do it again.

I don't have time to react before he's snatching me onto him, grasping my wrists in his hands as he tickles at my stomach, causing me to double over and try to keep from waking my parents.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I whisper yell and he stops, allowing me to catch my breath and he laughs arrogantly, his rough palms rubbing up and down my thighs, calmly, his smile slowly starting fade as he looks up at me.

"What is it?" I ask him, self-consciously pulling the covers back around me to cover my chest.

"You're beautiful." He says lowly, his hand coming up to brush my red hair from my face.

"Don't be weird." I say in regards to whatever the hell is happening between us.

We've only messed around a handful of times and I've been trying not to get attached because there's no point. I don't need him bullshitting me just for the hell of it.

"I'm being honest, Viv. You are."

"So is every other girl you have fun with. We're already fooling around anytime either of us wants it, you can stop trying to tell me nice stuff so I'll let you between my legs, Nikki." I laugh it off, but the sting of the truth strikes through my body.

"The other girls are nice to look at, but are grade-A hangers-on. They could give less of a fuck as long they're getting boned by a rockstar, they don't care." He replies.

Apparently the look I give him is one of doubt.

"I'm always right." He states sarcastically with a toothy grin. "So if I say you--despite being a pain in the ass--are beautiful, then there's no arguing about it." He adds and I try not to make my overjoyed smile obvious, instead leaning down, pressing my lips to his.

1987

"Another vehicle, Nikki, are you kidding me?!" I scream as he simultaneously says, "don't fucking start, Viv!"

He can't be serious.

"Do you not remember that notice we got about the $5,000 a day in heroin being spent, Nikki, or did that just fly over your head? We have bills, we have have things that we need to prioritize and what do you do?! Buy another car!"

He just ignores me, grabbing a paper bag from the fridge.

I give up on fighting, tears of frustration rolling down my cheeks as I grab my car keys to just get the hell out of here.

He had gotten a brand new Mercedes Benz after I had asked him to wait until we got more money from the album and the tour. He decided we had enough money and went for it.

I angrily wrap packing tape around the cardboard box packed full of Steven's things, seeing him flinch each time the tape let out a squeak from me manhandling it.

"You good, Viv?" He asks me cautiously and I glare at him.

"I married a junkie who's mission is to damn near give me a heart attack anyway he possibly can whether it's with his drug abuse or simply spending money we don't necessarily have." I state. "So, no, Stevie. I could be better."

"Oh...I'm sorry." He mumbles.

"It's called D-I-V-O-R-C-E. They're perfect in situations such as your's and could really benefit you and him." Izzy sarcastically let's out, raising his brows and I slowly turn to look at him with a death glare. "Or suffer, that's a good option, too." He shrugs.

"We don't want that." I state as Duff comes in the living room from the kitchen.

"Not what I've heard." Izzy scoffs back. "Sixx talks when he's smacked out."

"And what exactly does 'Sixx' say?" I ask, raising my brows.

I can feel Steven making motions to Izzy from behind me, and I turn to look at him only to see him pretending to rub the bottom of his jaw with his knuckles.

It's obvious he was just running his hand against his neck in a "stop" motion to Izzy.

"Uh, n-nothing." Duff puts in as an unsettling tension settles in, like the three of them are on a level of understanding that I'm not aware of.

"Guys, seriously, what does he say?" I ask.

"It's not really what he says as much as what he does." Izzy let's out carefully and Duff glares at him.

"What does he do?"

"Cries." Duff states.

"Yeah." Steven adds.

"Like a little bitch." Izzy sighs.

I look at them for a moment before deciding to not ask anything else.

"Okay, Steven, here." I finish taping his box of stuff.

"Thanks, Viv." He replies, picking the box up, and suddenly every nude magazine he owns is spilling onto the floor from the bottom of the box.

"Aw, dude, that wasn't suppose to happen." Steven states and I hand the tape to Duff when he offers to retape it, before plopping down beside Izzy.

The difference in Fred, Mick, Duff, Steven, Izzy, Slash and Axl keeping the Vanity situation from me, and Tommy, Vince, Doc, and Tansy, keeping it from me was that Vince, Doc, Tommy and Tansy were protecting Nikki.

Everyone else thought they were protecting me, instead they would constantly down Nikki about it, trying to get him to stop his shit.

It would have been nice for someone to tell me instead of having me looking like an absolute dumbass in front of God and everyone.

But I can see why they would think I couldn't handle that information at that time.

"Baby, c'mon, Tommy and I leave in a couple hours." Nikki pleads with me over the phone.

"Okay, so just days ago I was a 'psycho cunt' and you bought a brand new car a couple days ago just to spite me, and now I'm 'baby' again?" I question him.

"We fucked last night, Viv." He states and I sigh.

"We have sex because we're horny, Nikki, not because either of us are sorry for whatever we fight about." I point out and he groans.

"Just get down here and tell me 'bye', please?" He asks and I let out a breath.

"Fine, I'll be down there in a few minutes." I tell him, rolling my eyes.

How Nikki's logic worked:

Sex = apology.

I had accepted that, but a few months into '87, I realized sex didn't fix anything. It just swept it under the rug and allowed the both of us to pretend nothing was wrong.

The rug was starting to have so much dirt swept under it, it wasn't even laying flat on the floor anymore.

I shut the door of my car, Nikki waiting for me outside in his sunglasses, despite it being night out, his cocky smirk plastered on his lips at the fact that I came when he snapped his fingers, like always.

He holds a cassette out to me and I raise a brow, unamused.

"An apology for being an asshole." He tells me.

On the label reads "You're All I Need."

"Remember that song I wanted to write for you?" He asks and I nod, not necessarily knowing how to feel.

"I'll see you when you get back." I let out, giving a tight smile, opening my car door but he shuts it quickly, turning me to face him.

"That's it? No 'thank you', no 'goodbye' kiss, no nothing?" He questions me.

"I'm still upset over our fight Nikki."

"We always have bullshit fights, Viv. We say shit we don't mean all the time."

"Okay, but we're getting too comfortable saying hurtful things to each other, are we not?" I point out, and he sighs, shaking his head a little.

"We tried therapy, it didn't work, so. I don't know what to tell you."

"We went to a handful of sessions, Nikki, before you refused to go after Nona passed away." I remind him.

"Because we were both miserable in those sessions."

"Well, it's nearly one year later and we're still miserable." I state and he furrows his brows.

"Being married to me makes you miserable?" He hisses out.

"I didn't mean it like that, I just mean--"

"--Great, well, I'll see you in five days." He cuts me short, hurt over what I said, stepping to the door.

"That's not what I meant, Nikki." I follow after him and grasp at his wrist. "I meant the both of us are getting more and more unhappy."

"I'm fine." He pipes. "I'm sorry if you're antidepressant stopped working or something but I'm fantastic, Viv."

"You're fantastic?"

"Yep."

People who are doing "fantastic" don't self-medicate but okay.

"I'll do better." He says to me, smiling down at me reassuringly. "Alright?"

I nod, and he looks me up and down for a moment before catching my lips with his.

His Jack flavored tongue meets mine, eliciting a soft hum from me as his hands hold at my waist, my fingers lacing in his hair.

We take a few steps back and I feel my legs hit the front of my Corvette. I drop the tape to push his jacket off his shoulders when he nudges for me to sit back on the hood of my car, already knowing where this is going.

His lips trail down my neck, his teeth nipping at my hardened nipples through my dress, causing me to giggle and moan simultaneously, my fingers running through his teased hair.

He stands up straight to unbuckle his belt, the sight of his prick desperate to get out of his pants has a wave of pleasure sweeping up my back, my hand pulling my dress up to run over the soft fabric of my panties, the toe of my heel gently traveling up the inside of his leather covered thigh.

He stops me just before I can trace over the bulge in his pants, his hand gripping my ankle, his fingers of his other hand untying the lace of his pants.

I sit up, reaching my hand out to free his cock, but he grabs at my jaw, forcing me to look at him.

"No, no." He wags his finger at me with a slick smile and my mouth waters when he pulls himself from his pants, precum already beading at his tip.

He sees me eyeing it, purposely wrapping his fist around his shaft to jerk of a couple of times, causing even more of the liquid to leak from him.

"Go ahead have a taste because every last drop is going in that pretty pussy so you remember who's you are while I'm gone."

My core tenses up, evidence of my arousal wetting my panties at his words and I don't hesitate to swipe my thumb across his tip, enjoying his jaw tensing at the contact, before making a show of sucking my thumb into my mouth to lick it off.

He stares at me and I blink up at him, taking my thumb from my mouth, waiting for him to make the next move.

And oh, does he.

He's impatiently pushing my dress to my hips and yanking my panties off, holding at one of my legs as his fingers trail between my legs to my clit.

I let out a harsh breath when he lightly runs the pad of his thumb over the sensitive nerves, watching my face.

I have to bite my lip in order to keep from cursing at him teasing me, and he licks his lips before taking his dick in his hand, rubbing the head against my clit, watching as my eyes close and a whimper leaves my lips.

I feel my pulse in my core, and the ache of utter need has me giving him my best "fuck me" eyes I can muster up.

"Does my little slut wanna be fucked?" He asks and I nod, looking at him with my eyes half-open.

I shudder when he drags his tip to my hungry cunt, slowly, agonizingly, sliding into me.

My back arches as he gives me the time to feel his girth stretching me, and he grins, his head falling back, his hands pushing my thighs against the hood of the car.

"I will never get over how fucking tight you are." He tells me in an almost moan, pulling back out again and slowly sliding back in, time looking down to see himself thrusting in and out of me.

"So good." I let out softly, my hands pinching at my nipples through my dress and he starts to pick up the pace, causing me to gasp and moan with every thrust as he goes deep into me, hitting my cervix.

I remember where we're at and I put my hand over my mouth to keep from drawing attention from the street incase anyone can hear me.

Nikki doesn't like that.

"Keep your fucking hand down." He orders, pulling my hand from my mouth. "I want them to know you're getting fucked, I want them to know who's fucking cock you're taking inch for fucking inch." He states, and I moan quietly at his words, still not wanting to draw attention.

My walls tighten and loosen around him as he continues to drive into me, my sounds of pleasure getting louder and louder with my loss of control and Nikki's determination.

His fingers quickly go back and fort against my clit, causing me to let out an unexpected cry, my hand holding at his wrist to try to get him to stop but he won't.

"Good girl." He praises me for not trying to hide my pleasure, grunting at the feeling of my pussy tightening around him.

The wet sound of him moving in and out of me mixed with my cries and he cursing fills my ears.

"Harder, Nikki, please." I beg, a masochistic part of me not wanting to walk right for a couple days.

I don't have to ask twice, his hand's around my throat, his fingers roughly stimulating my clit while his prick mercilessly starts pounding into my weeping cunt, only causing me to moan the best that I can with him choking me.

The two of us look at each other in pure ecstacy and I smugly grin before opening my mouth, sticking my tongue out.

His hand grasps at my throat a little tighter as he leans forward and spits in my mouth, only letting his grip loosen briefly so I can swallow it.

Our bodies are now drenched in sweat and I'm growing closer and closer, squeezing around him so tightly I think he's having to force himself not to finish before I do.

I'm probably looking up at him like he's a god, mesmerized by the sheen of sweat covering his chest, his thumb of his hand around my throat softly swiping the skin of my neck, sweetly contradicting his roughness.

"Oh, daddy, I'm gonna come." I gasp out. It's been a while since I've called him that in bed and it's only motivating him to go harder. "Fuck!" I mewl, squeezing my eyes shut as I tighten around him even more before my orgasm hits and my pussy's spasming in hopes of getting every last bit of his load.

He groans from the sensation before I feel him push back into me, forcing himself against my cervix, hot cum coating the inside of me.

"What the fuck?!" Tommy screams in a high pitch, and Nikki and I startle, looking in the direction of the door to see Tommy and Vince standing there, just walking out, but being met with Nikki inside me, with his hand around my throat and me moaning.

I'm horrified, Tommy's traumatized, Vince is probably wishing he had his camera, and Nikki's...well...

"Hahaha!" Nikki let's out, pulling my dress down my legs so I don't flash Tommy or Vince. "Sorry." He says next, tucking himself back into his pants, picking his jacket up off the ground as I scramble to get off the car, wincing at the feeling Nikki's cum about to start running out of me.

My face is bright red and Tommy looks like he's about to cry.

"I came out here to tell you 'bye' and-and..." he can't finish speaking, disgust on his face.

"Nikki was telling you 'bye', too." Vince laughs out and I glare at him.

"I'm sorry we fool around, T-bone, jeez." Nikki chuckles.

"'Fooling around' is a blowjob. This," he grabs his own throat and pulls his own hair. "Is something I don't want to see Viv in."

"She's the one who's into it." Nikki argues and my eyes bug as I feel even more embarrassed.

"Nikki, what the hell?!" I ask him as Tommy looks even more worried.

"Aww, man, this is great." Vince sighs out, grinning.

"Viv, I love you, I'll see you in a few days." Tommy let's out, avoiding eye contact with me.

I don't want to face him at the moment either.

"Love you, Tommy, bye." I reply as he heads to their car that just pulled up.

I grab the tape from the ground and my panties, and Nikki takes the skimpy undergarment from my hand and puts it in his jacket pocket.

I just look at him.

"What?" He asks. "It's a token of your affection to remind me of you when I miss you on those cold, lonely nights."

"You'll be gone less than a week, Nikki."

"You want me to think of you or not?" He points out and I can't hide my smile, chuckling at his bullshit.

His eyes shift to the tape in my hand, and his face falls for a second as if he regrets giving it to me.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, um...just...don't take lyrics too seriously." He tells me and I raise my brows.

"What?"

The car honks the horn and he looks at them as Tommy's standing out of the sunroof.

"Dude, c'mon, we're gonna miss the flight!" He tells Nikki.

Nikki turns back to me, giving me a little smile, kissing me sweetly.

"I'll call you when we get to the hotel." He assures me, kissing me again.

"Okay, be careful." I say.

"I'm sorry, Viv, alright?" He says next, and I think he's apologizing for the "Wild Side" ordeal and buying a new car we could barely afford.

I'm about to say "I am, too" but he cuts me off, kissing me yet again.

"See ya, Sixx." He whispers, smirking to me.

"See ya, Sixx." I reply in the same tone.

With one last kiss, he's telling Vince 'bye' and making his way to the car.

I rub my lips together, noticing Vince has this amused look on his face as I step to my car.

"What, Vince?" I ask.

"Nothing. Enjoy the song." He tells me before walking to his bike.

I go home, clean myself up, change and head to the Franklin Plaza where Duff, Axl, Izzy, Slash and Steven are staying currently.

The second Steven opens the door, I'm waving the tape.

"He doesn't hate me!" I exclaim, handing the tape to Axl--who bet $50 that Nikki and I would divorce this year--as he's smoking his cigarette.

"'You're All I Need'." He reads the title, looking at Duff and Izzy who're on one of the suits' couches. "What, is it an ode to heroin?" He asks and I cut my eyes at him.

"Seriously, man?" Slash questions him, unamused.

"No, Axl, it's not." I state.

"Well, let's listen to it." Stevie excitedly says.

Soon enough we have it playing, hearing a beautiful piano ballad backed with Mick's guitar, Nikki's bass and Tommy's drums.

"The blade of my knife

Faced away from your heart

Those last few nights

It turned and sliced you apart

This love that I tell

Now feels lonely as hell

From this padded prison cell"

The lyrics of the first verse sound as with each passing second, everyone's looking more and more confused, glancing at each other while I try to make sense of whatever metaphor he's using.

"So many times I said

You'd only be mine

I gave my blood and my tears

And loved you cyanide

When you took my lips

I took your breath

Sometimes love's better off dead"

He can't be saying what it sounds like he's saying.

"You're all I need make you only mine

I love you so I set you free

I had to take your life

You're all I need, you're all I need

And I loved you but you didn't love me."

"Umm...Viv...I don't think this is about how much he loves you." Izzy speaks out.

"Laid out cold

Now we're both alone

But killing you helped me keep you home."

"I-Is he singing about killing me?!" I ask, nearly at a loss for words.

"I guess it was bad

Cause love can be sad

But we finally make the news."

"This bastard is singing about killing me!"

"Dude, didn't he actually try to kill you?" Steven asks me and I raise my brows.

"Tied up smiling

I thought you were happy

Never opened you--"

Duff stops the tape, snatching it from the player before tossing it on the floor and stomping it to pieces with his cowboy boot.

There's a long, long silence between all of us, and I force myself not to cry in front of all of them.

"I guess that fifty bucks is still on the table, then?" Axl shatters the silence.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #mötley crüe #gateway drug

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year-of-yes · 4 years

Text

Rabbit Hole

There’s nothing that those of us with ADHD love more than falling down the rabbit hole of a new hobby. I’ve decided that my new rabbit hole will be vaginas. Queer vaginas.

I’ve been exploring my sexuality more thoroughly this year, prompted by quarantine and my last year of grad school, to really lean in.

I’m a serial monogamist and find myself with free time - my boyfriend is studying abroad for the next year - and we’ve decided to open up the relationship. Given that I’ve always been in relationships, or spent most of my pre-tinder years woefully sexually repressed, I’ve never just gone balls to the wall in terms of prioritizing MY sex life. For me. I’m a notorious people pleaser and just the thought of telling a guy on a first date that I was only interested in casual sex would have made my skin crawl 5 years ago.

But no more!

The first few months of my new found freedom have been a veritable smorgasbord of men WAY out of my league. Something about knowing I’m in an open relationship allows guys to relax and just have fun with intimacy. (Men are the worst.) Ive never been on smoozier dates, with nicer wine and hotter guys in my life. Should I ever become single again, I will probably just continue to pretend to have a boyfriend, because DAMN. I’ve started keeping an album in my phone of their tinder profile pics just so when I’m old I can look back and remind myself that yeah, I FUCKED.

Part of this new exploration has been coming to terms with the fact that yes I like women, and yes, I’m not attracted to ALL women, and yes I have mostly hooked up with guys but YEAH, I was definitely bisexual. And that I should stop being afraid and just DO IT.

But like any baby dyke on her first foray into the unknown, I was like a traveler with a brand new passport leaving the country for the first time, blinking out of an airport to realize that I didn’t speak the language, and oh yeah, I was dressed like a tourist.

Despite the wisdom in taking things slow, my ADHD impulsivity had taken over and like any good hobby worth hyper focusing on, I was determined that I would learn by DOING. I wanted to have sex with women. Now, preferably.

I thought hooking up with a woman for the first time would be as easy as matching with someone hot on tinder - after all, thats all it really took with guys. I casually started following more queer women on instagram, tiktok and twitter, paying attention to what I could learn, assured that on any given day, I’d run into someone at the grocery store or match with a babe on tinder who would sweep me off my feet. Because now I was ACTIVELY looking at women! Not passively checking them out!

WRONG. After months of falling for dozens of matches who never messaged me, or conversations that never led to plans, or plans that fizzled out, I pulled on my big girl pants and decided that I was going to be a woman of action and get.myself.on.a.date. I’m hot goddamn it! I was going to MAKE SURE they knew I wasn’t just another straight girl bored on an app. I WANTED TO EAT PUSSY.

it might be time to introduce that in addition to my very noticeable ADHD, I also have much less noticeable autism. All that business about girls presenting differently than boys means that others rarely pick up on it - and I don’t feel the need to mention it unless I think it will impact our relationship, like with a friend or coworker. I’ve learned that mentioning it on dates doesn’t really make things easier, but thanks to years masking, I can pull off a first date no sweat. Continuing on to dates 2 and 3 can be trickier, but I’ve learned how to navigate those waters with men who, suffice to say, are rarely intuitive enough to pick up on anything. In fact, I would venture a guess that most people on a date with me consider me very extroverted. Nevermind that I’m too mentally exhausted to leave my room the day after a date. I talk a lot, occasionally too much. I often look bored or bitchy because resting autistic face is more exhausting to change than resting bitch face, so I make up for it by being overly chatty when we hit on any of my special interests.

I have NO idea how this will translate on a date with a woman. My instinct is to say that I am overthinking and likely it will feel like any other date, but then I’ve always found women harder to read than men, and found it harder to see how they read me. I was also terrified that flirting would feel different - what if I was giving off a friendly vibe, not an I-want-to-fuck vibe? Is it typical for women to fuck on a first date? Should I touch her to let her know I was into her? Or did the fact that I had gotten all the way from a swipe right on tinder to an actual date suffice in itself to let her know? These might not be the sorts of questions a non-anxious neurotypical person might ask themselves, but they are the questions that I had slowly built up an arsenal of information for over the last 14 years in my interactions with men - information that was no longer applicable. So I set about seeking out this information in a way familiar to most autistics learning information that came naturally to others.

Google! I realized that I know very little about the actual gay scene despite having queer friends. How do lesbians flirt? How do you pick one up? What is considered too forward? And how in gods name did you eat pussy? Because goddamn it I intended to be good.

I had heard the term lesbian tiktok thrown around and decided to see what was what. Mostly I found videos of 20 year olds with flawless skin making lewd tongue movements that were supposed to be sexy. After probably 40 cumulative hours of trawling tiktok I realized I had a type: androgynous girls who were beautiful despite dressing down and not wearing a ton of makeup. Then I had a real heated soul search with myself. Was I attracted to them because I…wanted to be them? Liked the way they looked and dressed because I too aspired to cool androgyny? A few more days on tiktok and I put my guilt behind me: I definitely had a type and who gave a fuck if it was sort of self indulgent.

I also refused to go back to a time when I was bad at sex. I consider myself a solid sexual partner, keeping guys generally out of my league coming back for more. Thats because I refused to feel self conscience naked, was an excellent kisser, an active participant, vocal about my desires and (most important for men) my ~enthusiasm, and understood the power of delayed gratification.

I realized that while I could read articles about eating pussy all day long, it would ultimately come down to what the other girl was into. I’m a proficient masturbator and know what I like others to do to me - but I wasn’t yet accustomed to picking up on the cues that women give about what they liked. I resolved that the first time I was with a girl, I was going to lean in to the delayed gratification. Focus on kissing, touching, necks, ears, breasts, navels etc. so by the time I came face to face with a vagina it would be so wet I’d have my work cut out for me. In a little vagina shaped cake. Why not just ask them, you say?? Because! I’m extremely awkward and don’t want whoever she is to know that I’m woefully inexperienced. Fake. it. til. You. Make. it.

It was like being a horny teenager again: desperate for interaction but unsure how anything worked. I was googling phrases like “bisexual style” and “how to eat pussy without getting tired”. I read hours of r/actuallesbians, Tumblr posts and go magazine articles. Mostly I realized that I would be able to skirt through to some degree: I was a solid 6-7 on the attractiveness scale, willing to be aggressive and outgoing no matter how awkward it made me feel, with a roommate who could make sure I looked stylish and a can-do attitude.

Now all I had to do was find a girl I wanted to fuck, who wanted to fuck me too.

#bisexual #queer #baby dyke #girlswithadhd #girlswithautism

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aimeeblake · 3 years

Text

OPERATION LIFE RAFT→ BEAUMEE

TAGGING → Aimee Blake & Beau Odie ( @beauodie )

TIMELINE → November 28, 2020

SETTING → Aimee and DJ’s apartment

SUMMARY → Aimee invites Beau over to Crownflix and Chill, and chilling ensues.

Thanskgiving had been strange, to the point that Beau was kind of relieved when he got to go home. It felt like breaks from school from now on were just meant to be assosciated with feeling ignored, and he didn't ask for much, he didn't think. Just acknowledgement. That's why when Aimee texted him asking him to hang out when break was over, it hadn't even taken two seconds to text back a big yes. Someone actually making time for him, especially someone as fun as Aimee, was impossible to resist. With a quick stop by a grocery store for some ice cream, he hurried over to her dorm that afternoon. She'd mentioned something about a Christmas movie or a board game or something and honestly, the specifics of it didn't matter to him so he hasnt asked for elaboration. Quality time, no matter what they were doing, was more than enough. He knocked on the door and waited for it to open, waving the ice cream at her like it was his hand as soon as it did. "Hey," Beau greeted, doing a quick sweep of the room to see if her roomie was there. "Thanks for inviting me. Is DJ going to be here or is it just us for now?"

Aimee was really starting to have second thoughts as she waited for Beau to come over. She didn't know anything about actually trying to seduce a boy! Sure, she'd read about it over and over again in all her favorite books but she couldn't even get the boy that she knew wanted her in that way to so much as kiss her! Straight up trying to hook up with a guy that had really only just called her "hot" was in a different universe of impossibly hard! Aimee was just about to bitch out on her plan and change out of her red booty shorts and "ho ho ho" hoodie in favor of less suggestive hang out clothes when there was a knock on the door signaling that it was too late to back out now. "Sup! Thanks for coming!" She cheerfully replied, backing up to let him in the door and figure out what flavor ice cream he'd been waving at her at the same time. " It's just us, I don't think DJ's supposed to be back for awhile.

"Alright, sounds good," Beau smiled, not quite sure what to do with the chocolate ice cream he'd brought so he awkwardly handed it to Aimee. "Since my Grandmama says I'm not allowed to go anywhere without bringing a gift, this is for you. So, uh, what are we doing exactly?" he asked, taking off his coat and just holding it. He liked Aimee and really wanted to hang out with her but he felt like he was doing this all wrong already. He hadn't hung out with someone new one on one in a long time and even though this wasn't a date or anything, it did leave him feeling like he had forgotten to study for this social interaction.

"That's cool, I like ice cream and I didn't really think to buy a bunch of hang out snacks either sooo I guess this will be useful?" Aimee shrugged, before taking Beau's coat in addition to the ice cream and hanging it up on their coat rack. "I'm not really sure what we're doing yet, I was waiting on you to get here." Aimee said leading Beau to the living room area and setting the ice cream on the coffee table, "subtly" bending over to show off her shorts as she did so. "So we can watch The Grinch, Polar Express or Moulin Rouge. OR we can play Board Games, we have way too many so if you name one I bet we've got it."

"We can always order something in later if we get hungry," Beau suggested, letting Aimee take his coat as he started making himself comfortable and following her into the living room. His eyes kind of found their way to her shorts when she bent over and he gulped, looking away as fast as he could. It was a great view but it wasn't his to stare at. "Uh, sounds good. Either one. The only board games I'm really good at are trivia games or Twister and those aren't as fun with just two people. We could watch The Grinch?" he suggested, getting onto the couch.

"Yeah totally!" Aimee agreed. She tried to sneakily see if Beau had been looking at her butt when she bent over but was disappointed to see he was looking away. Well only partially disappointed, after all Beau being respectful and not ogling her like she was a piece of meat was definitely not a bad thing and the kind of quality she'd ordinarily like in a potential virginity taker. But respectfulness wasn't going to get her railed, so Aimee made a mental note that she was probably going to have to be a little more direct to get what she wanted. "The Grinch works!" She replied, flitting off to the kitchen to grab spoons and coming back just as fast. "You're right about Twister and the only trivia game we own is Scene it? Twilight and it's rude to invite a guy over just to kick his butt at a game like that." She laughed and picked up the remote before joining Beau on the couch, sitting much closer next to him than she ever would under normal circumstances.

Beau laughed, the idea of going head to head with Aimee on a Twilight trivia game downright funny. "The only thing I know about Twilight is that the baseball scene is supposedly the coolest scene in all of the movies," he admitted. "You'd kick my butt so hard. Not that I'd mind, but you know." He shrugged, trying to relax onto the couch as the movie started. The key word there was 'trying' -- something about how close Aimee had decided to sit to him made it hard to totally loosen up. She was probably just one of those people who had no physical barriers with anyone, it probably didn't mean anything, but it made his body feel kind of warm all the same. Damn, he really needed to get out more; if he hung out with more people more often, he wouldn't get flustered by a simple hang out. Thinking that she'd maybe back up if he scooted in, Beau tried to subtly close the gap between them.

Aimee's jaw dropped in exaggerated surprise that Beau had never seen the Twilight movies before. "That's it? I mean you're not wrong but oh my god, that's like knowing the vampires sparkle at this point! It's too bad I didn't know you were so deprived, I definitely wouldn't have picked a bunch of Christmas movies to watch.

Aimee briefly glanced over at Beau as he scooted in closer on the couch, wondering if he was onto her scheme. It would definitely make her job a lot easier if he was. So Aimee didn't really react otherwise to the new lack of space between them, at least for a couple minutes as she waited to see if he would do anything more. When he didn't, Aimee decided to pull what seemed like a very obvious pick up move on him, the good old fashioned "pretend to yawn and put her arm around him move". Sure, Aimee had no idea what the move was really supposed to do seduction wise, but there had to be a reason it was so universally beloved right?

Beau chuckled at Aimee's reaction. "I like Christmas movies but hey, maybe we can watch Twilight next time," he suggested. He hoped it wasn't too forward to suggest they'd do this kind of thing again but he really hoped they would. Speaking of forward... Aimee wasn't scooting away. Beau had fully expected her to reestablish the space between them but she didn't and so there was none and that was weirdly distracting. He tried to refocus on the movie and let his overthinking go away but then Aimee did something he never expected. She yawned and put her arm around his shoulders, like a horny guy in a movie theater. He bit his lip so that he didn't laugh at the move, but he had to admit that it did kind of work in that it made his heart beat faster. Their faces were closer than he'd been to anyone's in a bit as he turned to her and asked, amusement evident in his tone, "Aimee, are you trying to Crownflix and chill right now?" The question would've felt crazy presumptuous, especially knowing how Aimee felt about DJ and that she hadn't even kissed anyone, but her arm was around his shoulder, she'd invited him over to watch movies, she was wearing tiny shorts. All of those things seemed to be adding up in one way he couldn't ignore.

Aimee's nose wrinkled slightly at Beau's question. She hadn't thought of what she was doing as an attempt to Crownflix and Chill. Like now that Beau said it out loud, that's clearly what it was, but in her mind it was definitely not something so memeable. "I don't know, is it working?" She asked, looking up at him with wide eyes. She would've tried to bat her eyelashes as well but she wasn't trying to completely over kill it and make Beau ACTUALLY laugh at her.

Okay, so a nose-wrinkling in response to that question felt like a no and Beau's stomach sank. There probably wasn't anything more embarrassing than accusing a girl of trying to seduce you when she was just hanging out. But then Aimee kept going and something about the way she looked up at him made his throat dry. "You know the crazy thing? It kind of is," he admitted, looking down at her face, and her mouth in particular. But while that might've been a good moment to go for it, he still wasn't sure of her intentions and his thing with Aspen had been so lacking in communication by the end that he couldn't stand not knowing. "But why though? I know I'm not who you want," he reminded her as if Aimee could forget that she'd confessed her love of DJ to him.

Aimee's face lit up with a smug grin when Beau admitted that her seduction attempt was kind of working for him. Aimee was insecure about a lot of things about herself but her looks had never been one of them so she was kind of living for the validation Beau was giving her. She did however cringe when Beau started asking questions. Not that she didn't think he WOULDN'T have any questions about the situation, but the mere mention of "who she did want" Reminded her of how perfectly matched and coupley DJ and Karmen had been over Thanksgiving in order to appease his crazy grandmother. "I don't want to want him anymore. Remember when when we were talking about basically being in the same boat of loving someone we really shouldn't and you said that if one of us was going to find a life raft, it was going to be me? I think I figured it out." To make her point clear, Aimee closed the already minimal space between the two of them and pressed her lips onto Beau's. Only for a few seconds though since Aimee's newfound boldness was just about at it's about limit and she still had more to say. "To be clear, I think we should hook up and be each other's rebounds. I think we could be really good at it, is that okay??"

Beau listened, nodding as she spoke. He really did understand what it felt like to want someone he shouldn't, and Thanksgiving break had only really served to make him feel lonelier. He wondered if it had had the same effect on her and realized that it probably had; after all, like she'd said before, they were in the same boat, the same sinking boat. And when Aimee leaned in and kissed him, for a brief moment, it felt like the holes in his heart that had been leaking love since he and Aspen ended were plugged and his chest felt lighter than it had in so long. Maybe Aimee was right, maybe this was their life raft moment that would get them through the hardest parts of getting over someone. He found himself nodding in agreement before the words reached his mouth. "I think we'd be really good at it too," he agreed. "Okay, I'm in. Operation Life Raft is a go, so long as we stay open and honest with each other. And honestly? I wanna kiss you again more than a firefly wants to shine."

As cliche as it was, when Beau began to verbally agree with what she was saying, Aimee let out a breath she hadn't even noticed she'd been holding. As nice as it had been for her to kiss Beau, she was 75% certain it wouldn't be worth the humiliation she'd feel from even the kindest rejection. After all, she'd just used her first kiss on him, that was a pretty big deal in itself! "Operation Life Raft, I like that!" She chirped, trying to seem like her heart hadn't practically tried to bounce out of her chest when he admitted he wanted to kiss her again. "The open and honest part, especially. Since honestly, I wanna kiss you again too." Which she did. This time practically mounting him like a horse as she pushed her way onto his lap to comfortably deepen the kiss.

One of Beau's favorite things about Aimee so far was how she said what she meant and she meant what she said, and so when she said she wanted to kiss him again, it wasn't a surprise at all that she did. What was a little bit of a surprise was that she got onto his lap on their second kiss. He and Aspen hadn't moved that quickly, had they? Not that it mattered. Not that he should even be thinking about Aspen. Wasn't that the point of this? To forget? And man, did he want to forget. His hands slid up Aimee's mostly exposed thighs before settling on her butt, pulling her in just a little bit closer as the kiss deepened. It then occurred to him that maybe that was Too Much and he pulled back from the kiss. "Sorry, is that okay? I'm not sure how much is too much too fast now. I feel like we're going to need a safe word," Beau laughed.

As new as she was to this whole kissing thing, Aimee felt like she was really taking to it like a fish to water. Especially once Beau's hands started to move up her thighs, that seemed like a pretty good indicator that she was doing something right. But then he was suddenly pulling back, which probably would've made her second guess herself but Beau had been too quick with his apology. "Huh?" Aimee laughed breathlessly, already a little too drunk on the excitement of kissing him to even begin to guess what he was sorry about right away. But when she finally did, she couldn't help but laugh more. Didn't he know by now what she was trying to do? "That was great. I'm not sure either but I'm down to go whatever speed you want to go. But just in case, we can make our safe word um...Puffin?"

Aimee's laughing made it easy for Beau to laugh too, and his body felt light all over; there really was something different about doing this sort of thing with someone that was just a friend. It immediately felt like it had way lower emotional stakes than any relationship where feelings were involved; it was more about just doing it to have fun, and it honestly felt like he could afford to have mindless fun more often. "Puffin," he repeated, committing it to memory with a smile and a nod. "Got it, got it. Sorry if a safe word's a weird request when we're just making out but its honestly kinda hard not to wanna go a little overboard with you right now. You're really hot," he laughed, "like, really really hot. Like 'I think I'd die if I got to see you naked' hot and I just, don't know, don't wanna rush you." She had just had her first kiss, after all. People didn't generally jump from that to their first time, especially not in the amount of time that it took for the movie to start to when the Grinch finally left his cave.

Aimee couldn't help but laugh again as Beau clarified why he'd asked for a safe word, this time mostly out of slight embarrassment at how hot he said he found her. Aimee rarely doubted that she was what most people would find conventionally "hot" but being called so hot that he "thought he'd die if he got to see her naked"? That was brand new territory. "You don't want to rush me? The girl sitting on your lap...wearing this?" Aimee asked, cheeks burning pink as she unzipped her hoodie to reveal a generous view of her cleavage just barely not spilling from the bra that was the only clothing item underneath the jacket. "Do you really think you'd be rushing me? If anything, I'm trying to rush you ."

Beau was the kind of guy who always tried not to stare too hard at pretty girls -- it wasn't polite. But if Aimee's boobs were distracting under a hoodie, they were even more distracting when they were right there in front of him. "Fuck," he cursed under his breath, taking in the view. He was sure Aimee could feel him getting harder under her, but he was even more sure that that was exactly her intention; in fact, Beau felt kind of oblivious for not 100% realizing, up until this moment, that this entire thing had been part of her plan. He felt weirdly flattered to have clearly been so carefully chosen for Operation Life Raft, and it just made him want to get closer to her as soon as possible. "Believe me, if I was the kind of guy who walked around with condoms in his pocket, I'd be rushing into this like a frog rushes after a fly," Beau chuckled, leaning in closer to her. "If you have one though," he said, kissing her jaw, "well, then I'm honestly down to go as far as want," he finished as he kissed her neck.

Aimee bit her lip as she watched Beau's reaction to seeing her chest upclose, it was both flattering and arousing, especially once she could feel her effect on him. She would've kissed him again if he hadn't started talking and kissing down her neck and jaw in a way that made a sharp warmth shoot from her belly all the way down to her toes. Rocking her hips forward into his, a move that was more grinding than functional, Aimee dug a hand into her pocket and pulled out a short strip of condoms. "Well lucky for you, a girl scout is always prepared and I just so happen to have more than one."

Beau groaned a little against her neck at the feel of her hips against his. It'd been so long since he'd been this turned on -- he'd been single for so long now, and in his last relationship, they'd never gone as far as to have condoms be part of the equation. It felt almost too good to be true that a super cool, super hot girl was into the idea of being sex friends, but he didn't want to question it too much, not when he was rearing to go. "Perfect," Beau praised at the sight of the condoms before taking her mouth in a kiss again and grinding up against her, holding her tight against him as he did, like she was a life raft and he was lost at sea. Whatever happened next, this was definitely the start of something awesome.

#para #beauodie

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sunflowersupremes · 4 years

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Friendship, My Dear Witcher

We have sex out of convenience and enjoyment, because we know that we could stop at anytime and it wouldn’t do a damn thing to our relationship. It’s rather like having a pint at the bar, you see? Depending on who you’re with, the emotions are different.

Geralt wants to discuss the meaning of love, Dandelion would prefer a quick romp in the sheets.

Characters: Dandelion/Jaskier, Geralt

Tags: NSFW

Read on AO3

“Dandelion-” the Witcher said softly, giving his friend a slight nudge. “What are you doing?” They were tucked together in the hayloft of a barn, sheets spread beneath them to make it as comfortable as possible. It was small, giving them a cozy nest to curl in as the rain lashed the roof outside.

“What do you think I’m doing Geralt?” The poet leaned against him, raising an eyebrow. “What, in your mind, could I possibly be doing other than attempting to initiate sex?” It was true, the bard was rubbing his hand over the front of Geralt’s breeches, his eyes glittering with mischief.

“Why?”

“Because I’m horny, why else?”

“Because you’re too broke to go to a whorehouse,” retorted the Witcher, letting his friend crawl over him. He wasn’t surprised to see that the poet was already entirely nude. The Witcher himself was only in a pair of trousers, and Dandelion wasted no time fumbling with the laces, pulling them down to his knees.

The Witcher watched in silence as he stretched out between Geralt’s legs, then pressed a kiss to the inside of his thigh. He paused, looking up at Geralt with a rather exasperated expression. “You’ve not stopped me, but you’re not participating either. So tell me, shall I go and find someone else to woo or may I continue?”

“I don’t understand it,” confessed the Witcher. “You and Yen-”

“Ugh, Geralt, let’s not talk about other people when I’m trying - rather valiantly I might add - to suck your cock.”

He brushed his hand through his friend’s golden curls. “I understand why you don’t mind that I’m with her - you whoremonger, you - but why-”

“Are you suggesting that Yennefer is a horribly jealous woman who wouldn’t enjoy the thought of you in another’s bed?”

“She must know I’ve bedded you, Dandelion, but she’s yet to say a thing about it.”

The poet pushed himself up to sit on Geralt’s lap, resting his hands on the Witcher’s chest and peering down at him. “I understand it perfectly,” he said.

“Enlighten me.”

“You - emotionally stunted creature that you are - have a hard time fathoming that there are different forms of love.” Dandelion tilted his head, his hair flopping slightly into his face, a grin on his lips. “You love me Geralt and I you, but you’re not in love with me, you know? You’re in love with Yennefer and I believe she returns the emotion.”

“It all sounds the same to me, Dandelion.”

“We’re friends Geralt, and that means that the kind of love that we feel has nothing to do with physical attraction.”

“Shall I point out that we are currently having sex?”

“Yes, out of friendship, don’t you see?” Dandelion leaned over him, pressing their noses together. “It’s a scale,” he said, “at one end, pure lust, the kind you might feel for a whore. Good for a fuck, but not someone to keep around the next day. In the middle, is being in love, that’s what you and Yennefer have, where there's a mixture of both love and lust.”

“And I suppose next you’ll explain what we have?”

“Friendship, my dear Witcher. We have sex out of convenience and enjoyment because we know that we could stop at any time and it wouldn’t do a damn thing to our relationship. It’s rather like having a pint at the bar, you see? Depending on who you’re with, the emotions are different.”

“And yet some people think you should remain monogamous, a fact which explains much of your relationships and how they end.”

“You wound me.” Dandelion nipped the tip of his nose. “But yes, you seem to have it all worked out.” He rolled his hips, pressing his crotch into Geralt’s cock. “Now may I resume sucking your cock or not?”

He would have been perfectly happy to allow Dandelion to continue rolling about on his lap, rubbing against him and cuddling, but he already smelled arousal on his friend. “Horny son of a bitch,” he grumbled, rolling Dandelion off him, and moving to trap the bard beneath him.

“You know what I think?” Geralt asked, grinning down at Dandelion.

“I am simply dying to find out.”

“I think that Yennefer doesn’t mind because she knows you fuck everything.”

Dandelion grinned. “Not everything! I may have low standards, but I do have them.”

Geralt lowered his head, snapping, “Spread your knees.”

“I’m not in the mood for penetration, my friend-”

“Wasn’t trying,” he said, ducking beneath Dandelion’s cock to take the man’s balls into his mouth. Dandelion yelped, suddenly grabbing fistfuls of Geralt’s hair.

The troubadour wrapped his legs around Geralt’s neck, lifting his ass off the sheets. Geralt let his balls slip from his mouth, instead running kisses over his inner thighs. It took him a moment to judge which angle he needed, but before Dandelion knew what he was doing, he pressed his tongue inside the troubadour’s ass.

His friend let out a scream of pure bliss, lurching so hard he almost dislodged Geralt. “I- I thought I said no penetration, but I won’t say no to- oh, fuck-” He swirled his tongue around a bit more, and when he withdrew, Dandelion whined.

Geralt chuckled, resuming mouthing up and down the poet’s thighs. Dandelion lifted his knees almost the way to his chest to allow room. “Geralt!” the poet whined, grabbing at his hair and pulling.

The Witcher sat up, grabbing Dandelion and rolling him over. It was easy to build friction by rubbing himself between the poet’s ass cheeks, and even easier to slip a hand around his friend’s stomach and slowly run his hand up and down his cock.

Dandelion moaned wantonly, pressing back against Geralt and blabbering nonsense. Neither of them lasted long, and soon they were curled back together, after Geralt had wiped them clean with a rag and gotten pants on the both of them. The poet was always too limp after sex to be of much use.

Geralt laid down on his back, stretching comfortably out on the makeshift bed. Dandelion sprawled on top of him, with a soft whine. Geralt manhandled him until it was more comfortable, the bard’s face in his shoulder, his arms splayed on either side. Content now that the troubadour’s elbows were no longer digging into his stomach, Geralt wrapped an arm around his back, rubbing slow circles. The poet practically purred.

“Do you want to know the truth,” the Witcher murmured, pressing his lips to Dandelion’s ear.

“Always,” the poet mumbled sleepily.

He grinned. “The first time I fucked you, it was just because it might make you shut up.”

“Oh, do go fuck yourself, Geralt.”

#my post #jaskier #dandelion #geralt #geralt of rivia

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blackandwhitedays · 4 years

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hello

woah... it’s been over two years since i’ve logged into this blog.

i didn’t think i’d be able to recover it. thankfully i’ve been using the same five(ish) passwords for the past four years.

so much has changed since i first began posting. although, i only made about three posts. it’s not uncommon for me to come up with some bright idea to start a blog/journal then forget about it after a few entries.

where do i even begin?

well, i graduated. and the boy i mentioned in one of my first posts? we are going on two and a half years together. crazy stuff. he was my saving grace through my last few months of high school. i don’t know what i would have done without him.

i used to post on another website called my-diary, where i updated about my life a lot more. reading those posts made my chest ache. i genuinely felt like i couldn’t breathe. suddenly, i was in high school again, overwhelmed and suicidal with no one to talk to. yeah, shit was rough to say the least.

i lost all my friends in february of my senior year. so, yeah, about two years ago now. i couldn’t really remember the details, but rereading my old entries helped jog my memory. it was all childish drama, as i suspected. my friends thought i was petty and secretly hated them, so they dropped me. i was already disliked by my entire graduating class, and suddenly i had absolutely no one. i sat alone everywhere i went. my guidance counselor accused me of sabotaging my own relationships. which now i understand as a symptom of my extreme anxiety and fear. i would destroy my relationships with others before they could hurt me first. but that’s not what i did with my friends in school. i cared for them a lot. they were all i had at the time. and they were perfectly okay with abandoning me at my lowest point because they were selfish from the start, i was just too desperate to see it.

it still chokes me up thinking about everything. i sometimes get into these weird obsessive states where i will purposely go back and reflect on my high school times and get really depressed. i don’t know why i do it. i’m so much better now than i ever was then. yet it’s like i enjoy hurting myself sometimes. perhaps to make sure i’m still capable of emoting like i used to.

but anyways, let’s talk about the now. i graduated and basically made a massive “fuck you high school and fuck everyone who hurt me.” you better believe i was the talk of the town. i got about thirty comments praising my bravery, then the next morning the hate started flowing in. people called me retarded, a dumbass, a liar, etc. all the good stuff. called me a slut for wearing crop tops. and my mother, who was so worried what others would think of HER because of the post, kicked me out. i lived on ben’s couch for several days. it was a nightmare. i thought i had hit rock bottom.

but shit moved on. i moved away and started going to college. my mom eventually apologized for being a selfish bitch about the whole situation. i forgave her, even though i don’t know if i’ll ever fully be able to. ben moved with me and got his own apartment in the same town. i ran out of money after the first semester and nowhere would give me more loans, so i had to drop out and move in with ben. we both worked as much as we could and moved back in with our parents for about a month. then we saved up and got our own apartment in a bigger city. which is where we are now. ben has a really great job working in masonry. he’s making ridiculously good money, though he has no clue how to budget and is constantly broke. i am a supervisor of a program that helps people with disabilities and brain injuries. i also make good money. i’m saving up to go back to school this fall. our apartment is small and owned by a sketchy property management company who is absolutely going to rob us of our $1,000 deposit. we also have a dog by the name of winston. he is the love of my life and i adore him more than anything in this world.

my life has done a complete 180. there’s no denying that. the only thing that could make it better is having some friends. yep, two years later i still haven’t made a long term friend. i think it’s due to a combination of moving around a lot, working constantly, and somewhat isolating myself due to fear of getting hurt again. ben and i thought we made friends with some people living in our building. they were a couple and were pretty great for about a month. we had cooking nights where we made dinner, went hiking and exploring different cities, and hung out all the time. then the girl decided to pick a fight because apparently we opened her messages and didn’t reply right away and it upset her. i tried explaining that we’re both insanely busy and sometimes we check our phones in the spur of the moment but don’t get time to actually type out a reply. then she got even more upset and said “guess i’m not allowed to have an opinion then?” and started subtweeting about me on twitter. she also refused to talk it out in person and would only discuss it through snapchat. just really, really childish shit. then a couple weeks later they broke up. so there went that. i sometimes still talk to her but i’m certainly not interested in pursuing a friendship. i don’t need that kind of drama in my life.

sometimes i wonder if it’s me. if i really am some crazy manipulative bitch who just has no idea that she’s on some rampage to destroy everyone’s lives. but i really don’t think so. i just want some people who can come over and watch movies, chill out, etc. then when it warms up outside, we can go hiking and smoke in the woods, go on adventures at night through the city, and eat at all the different restaurants in town. i also want friends who i can make really shitty obnoxious jokes with and they will LAUGH. is that so much to ask? apparently, it is.

i do work a lot though, which prevents me from having as much of a social life as i would like. i’ve been a pretty regular smoker of weed for going on four years now. through my junior and senior year of high school as well as in college up until now. but in these last seven months since i moved into this apartment, ben and i have smoked almost every night. and boy, have i felt the effects. i definitely feel less focused and productive. i just want to come home and be lazy. which i can’t be. my job requires me to stay sharp and be productive, so i’ve decided to cut back and make it a weekend thing. it’s hard, though, because ben smokes every. single. day. and he has no plans to change that. he tried stopping and got so depressed he was feeling suicidal again, which he hasn’t felt in a long time.

oh, and as for ben and i? yeah, two and a half years. pretty crazy. we were all over each other for the first year and a half. we fell hard for one another. it hasn’t been perfect by any means, but it’s been a good time.

my biggest issue in the relationship is our lack of sex. i’m a very sexually driven person. i love sexually charged attention. i love a man who will slap my ass when he passes by me, and has to resist the urge to bend me over every time i “accidentally” change in front of him. ben is really not like that. his sex drive is practically non-existent, which has taken a toll on us for sure. it’s mostly because of his depression, i think, so he’s trying to get on antidepressants. they’re also for him, of course. he wants to feel happier. hopefully, it works.

these last few months have been a little rockier. not because we’ve been fighting more or anything. but i just feel like his heart isn’t as in it as it once was. he will deny it, of course. he claims he’s never been more in love with me. and i’m sure he genuinely believes that. but his lack of effort says otherwise. i spent $150 on concert tickets for him this valentine’s day. guess what he got me? nada. like, not even flowers. or chocolate. i’m not asking for him to break his bank on me. at all. i’m the easiest girl to please when it comes to this stuff. i just wanted to feel special. and i let him know how disappointed i was. i thought expressing my feelings would make him want to make it up to me, but he hasn’t done anything. he also hasn’t done much around the house, and i’ve been working late almost every night. i like things done a certain way, and he knows that. but you’d think he’d recognize that i’m working soo much lately and that i could use the extra help around the house. but no, i have to confront him about it which leads to him getting super defensive which leads to me getting upset which leads to a fight. then the whole night is ruined. it took an entire fight for him to finally clean up one night when i was working. which was nice. but it felt like he was doing it because i made a big deal about it, not because he actually wanted to help me out.

WARNING: Vulgar rant up ahead:

i feel like i’ve sort of began building up some resentment towards him. i hate that that’s the case. but i’m getting laid maybe twice a month. i’m nineteen years old and i am fucking HORNY. and i’m not unattractive to look at by any means. it sucks so bad when i come home and try to be subtly sexy and change in front of him and dance around and all he does is stare at his fucking phone. then when i straight-up climb on him and try to kickstart things, he says he’s tired and it’s too late. it makes me not want to come home from work. there’s nothing for me here. he doesn’t pay any attention to me. the most i see him is when he eventually passes out in my lap at 9:30 at night. it’s fucking exhausting. i’m so starved of attention. i went from being so incredibly crazy about him just a few short months ago, being so positive he was the one for me, to being almost in tears at the thought of dealing with this way of living any longer. i’m trying so hard to hold out for him to see a doctor and get on meds, but i just don’t know if it will help. he’s been on some before, and he was still sad and actually thought getting off of them would help his sex drive. but surprise, it didn’t.

i can’t imagine us breaking up. i mean, i would have to completely start over. get my own place, pay for everything on my own, etc. it would be so hard. i don’t want that to happen. but i’m fucking miserable here. i can’t rely on sitting on my fucking dildo and cuddling my dog as replacements for the love i signed up for when i entered this relationship. are we fizzling out? i don’t know. but i’m sad and angry and very, very frustrated.

and i’ll be honest, i’m really not that sexually attracted to ben in the first place. at first, i was, but he’s basically used all his moves on me and it’s pretty repetitive when we do have sex. i can’t get off without porn anymore. which i hate. i don’t even like porn that much. but it’s the only thing that works. so, would things even improve that much if he was having sex with me all the time? i don’t know. i just know that if things haven’t turned around by the summertime, i may be looking for a new place to live.

do i sometimes yearn for the freedom that comes with being single? sure. do i sometimes wish i could get laid by someone who actually has new moves to offer? of course. but do i want to sacrifice my relationship to receive these things? that’s what i’m not sure of.

i hate to even think of losing ben. it’s terrifying. i just want to feel loved. i just want to feel appreciated for everything i do around here. i try so fucking hard. but he gets so defensive when i try talking to him and thinks he contributes just as much as me (not even fucking close). i can’t even have a civilized discussion with him because it turns into a messy ass fight. wow, this is the longest post ever. i’ve talked about a lot tonight. it feels good to get some of it off my chest. it’s been building up inside for quite some time. i hope shit gets better in regards to my relationship. i need some damn love. and fast.

#relationship #deadbedroom #lonely #help

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