#page from my personal journal

[lunarcrossingart]

Being a queer child of an immigrant family certainly has it's toll on me sometimes. It's very easy to get caught up in the 'what ifs' especially when there is no longer the opportunity to get an answer.

What helps me is reminding myself that when they were here, they loved me, and that doesn't change just because they've passed on.

#page from my personal journal

[catastrxblues]

EVERMORE by taylor swift (feat. bon iver) — “and i was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step. and i couldn’t be sure, i had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldn’t be forevermore.”

my #swiftiegiftexchange2024 for @lovesickallovermybed!!!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽

#HIII HII HII how are you <3333 SO sorry for being slightly to the party but HII #i saw that you are currently recovering from surgery and i‘m wishing you all the best and =a faster recovery 💗💗 i hope you’re okay and #are feeling and getting much better every day 💗💗💗 #i’m your anon swiftie and it was really nice to get to know you!! 🫶🏽 you’re super super talented and your gifs are so so STUNNING #it was such an honor to be your anon for this event and i had such a fun time making this ! #i was SO excited when i saw that some of your favorite ts songs are evermore and idsb. really really sorry i didn’t have the time to make #something for both because my laptop went dead for sometime and i ended up only having the time to make this 😭 #evermore the song is something i hold and cherish deeply in my heart too and it was something that has seen some of the worst of my days #and so i decided to do this song for your gift instead! #i can’t really gif much and couldn’t even try #because my laptop in which i had installed ps in went rip so i decided to make you this #(slightly messy sorryy) scrapbook of my view of the song! i tried to incorporate some of the descriptive lyrics and the objects mentioned i #the song and i hope you like it 😁! #and because i think evermore is also something that IS meant to be incredibly personal to the people that listen to it #i decided to include some photos (+added highlights on every lyric that has ever touched me which is almost everything as you can see 😭) #of some of my journal pages on which i rewrote the entire lyrics (except bon iver’s addition 😅) in ‘21 when the song meant to me the most! #i hope you're having a great dayy love 🫶🏽🫶🏽 #SwiftieGiftExchange2024 #taylor swift #tswiftedit #evermore #*my edits #nadine.mp3

[crimeronan]

kind of a tragedy that ao3 didn't exist in the 70s and 80s. i know people say it would be a horror story to find your parent's ao3 but honestly as long as you avoid anything E-rated until you're like the same age they were when they wrote it you'd be fine. my mom has an old yellowed manuscript of the extremely generic high fantasy novel she painstakingly wrote on a typewriter at age 15 and i've read it twice. her self insert was a side character tough warrior catgirl named "catchild" who had a sword and always rode on horseback and could talk to feral cats in the main character's village. are you telling me you guys would find ABSOLUTELY NO DELIGHTS in the OP deviantart OCs that your disco 'rents came up with.......

#if you have a bad relationship with your parents to begin with you're obviously exempt #anyway the apple doesnt fall far from the tree where my mom is concerned #but imagine if she hadn't kept that out of nostalgia! boxing it up through endless moves around college and old boyfriends and #between europe and the US. between multiple states within the US. it would just be LOST #the women in my family have been preserving and passing down journals and love letters and postcards for over a century #pages over a hundred years old all bound up and carefully placed inside a shoebox #ao3 makes personal writing so much easier to preserve it's Unreal. especially when digital decay eats a lot of other online archival spaces #ao3

[hpowellsmith]

A few things that are good news:

after a week of illness-related insomnia at variously bad levels, culminating in pretty much an all-nighter on Sunday, I got eight and a half hours' unbroken sleep last night. Still in some sleep debt but far better than before!

My Last Fleet TTRPG character (a squishy, emotionally repressed workaholic political assistant office worker) is in a love triangle and I'm here for it

I am almost at that cool bit on Ilos in Mass Effect 1 where you drive the Mako really fast down the thing

I have coded the first chapter of something new

#personal #interactive fiction #i also ended up starting a proper development journal so I record how i make this one this time #it's five pages long already!! #i really like learning from my design successes #and the things i vow to never design like that again of course #i will maybe post the journal when i end up posting the WIP #not sure exactly when yet

[milkystars]

2 months and 192 pages later. 📒🐛

#journaling #staying away from the personal pages so here’s some fun ones!!! #don’t look at my photog nails 😡

[mashriqiyyah]

Pichhle saal yunhi September ki ek baarish me mujhay wo baat yaad aayi, jo pehle kabhi seekhi thi...Kay Insan ka dil Allah ki do Ungliyon me hai, wo jab chahay, usay palat Saktay Hain...jaise...wo waqt, jab mujhay baarish pasand aanay lagi. Bachpan se maine Baarish par muh banaya tha. Shayad school baarishwale dinon me start hua karta tha isliye, aur phir ground ke kichad me meray polished jootay aur safayd Uniform, dhuli dhulai cycle ke tyres, sab kichad-aalood hojate thay. Bag bheeg jata lekin waterproof tha to khayr thi, kitabon me lekin nami reh jati. Meri kitabein, jinko mai apni jaan se zyada sambhala karti thi. Mai nafasat pasand rahi hun aksar. Bachpan se. Phir college ke dinon tak, Baarish ka ye kichad aur uljhan mujhay bahot bezaar karte rahay hain. Aangan me gilay, gale hue patton ka phailna, har shay geeli aur numm. Gharme raho to neend aajati, khelne baahar koi jaane nh deta aur phir thandi baarish se beemar honay ka ehsas. Bezari si bezaari. Phir ek waqt wo aaya, jab apne shehar se door ek aisi jagah rehna pada, jahan door door tak aasmaan, Pahaad aur sookha maidan nazar aata. Apne mehfooz ghar, kichad walay school se door, anjan logon ke beech tanha hue jab maine wahan baarish hotay aur pani ki chhoti chhoti nehar banke ek taalaab me jaa miltay dekha.. Uss lamhe mein, mai pehli baar bezaar nahi hui. Pehli dafa kichad se uljhan nh hui, na hi ye fikr rahi ke saaf kapde maile hojayengay ya kitabein bheeg jayengi. Pehle ek haath aur phir saari ki saari mai, uss baarish me khari hogayi. Uss waqt nafasat ko nahi bhuli thi, bas ye eham nahi raha tha ke jootay, kapde aur cycle inki safai kabhi mustaqil hogi... Inn cheezon ko saaf rakhte rakhte shayad mai ek waqe'atan khubsoorat ehsas se door rahi thi. Meray dil me ye itminan aaya ke ye Allah ki rehmat hai, jisme mai bheeg rahi hun, mehaz pani nahi. Iss waqt mere Rabb ki tarafse sabse bada waseelah hai jissay mai Usko apne qareeb mehsoos kar rhi hun. Gharke, gharwalon ke tahaffuz se door, uss bijliyon aur garajti baarish me Allah ne mera dil badal diya tha. Yun jaise Do Ungliyon me bas chutki si bajayee ho. Uske baad se aaj tak, Baarish ne mujhay kabhi bezaar nahi kiya. Na hi kichad aalood juton ne, na hi meray maile hue safayd libas ne na hi bag me kai tahon me chhupi meri numm kitabon ne. Aaj jab mai aasman se barasti boondon ko dekhte iss bareme sochti hun, to samajh aata hai ..ke Uss din ki baarish ke zariye sirf baarish ke liye muhabbat hi nahi mili thi mujhay... balke ek mazeed ilham bhi mujhpar hua tha... Ek aur baat thi, jo wo baarish mere liye Allah ki tarafse paigam ki surat lekr aayi thi. Ye, ke koi jazbaa, koi insan, koi shay, koi haalaat itne mustaqil nahi hotay ke aapka ussay dil na uthhay. Har wo shay jisko aap chhorna chahte hain, lekin dil ke haathon majboor hain, aap Allah se kehden. Wo aapka dil badal Dengay. Ek aisi baarish, jahan saari umr ki bezari khatm hojati hai. Allah se wo baarish maangein.

©️ Zeenat Nazeer 🕊️

#A page from my diary #rain #metaphor #Urdu writing #journaling #tumblrpost #mine #personal #change of heart

[skyexrose]

Keep your distance from people who constantly give off that type of energy like you owe it to them to prove yourself and they are above you. They are power tripping. You should not have to answer to them right away. In fact, you don't owe them anything.

#thoughts #thought #text #alone with my thoughts #3am thoughts #sad thoughts #textquotes #text tumblr #personal text #my text #texts from last night #text post #text quote #text tag #spilled words #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled pages #spilled journal #spilled writing #spilled emotions #spilled soul #spilled feelings #spilled heart #spilled tears #spilled everything #spilled truth #spilled quotes #distance #distant

[generalmelchett]

I often forget to give myself credit for the progress I have made, but also, I often forget that sometimes I am inevitably going to be mentally unwell.

I’ll be like where the hell has this come from? I’m fine? I have a job? I pay rent? I can get the bus on my own? I can be around people without losing my mind? I take my medication! I’ve almost entirely stopped self harming! Why do I still have to feel so bad I can’t stop crying for hours?

Annoying and unfair to have worked so hard to build so much around you and still feel like it’s crumbling sometimes. I guess, like many things, it’s a spectrum, init. Seven years ago I was absolutely batshit insane. I didn’t fully realise the extent of it at the time. I knew I was ill and it was a problem and people were worried about me and I needed help but it’s taken getting the help and then living a few years feeling differently to understand how bad things got. Obviously I still don’t fully understand it. Too soon to say.

The progress I have made doesn’t erase that I very much have a long term mental illness. Huge bummer. Ah well. Peace and love.

#self harm mention #babbling #I posted this here because I couldn’t be bothered to move from bed and pick up my journal #also you know how it is when you feel like you’ve done too many journal pages already in one day #it’s like over texting someone #my cough is still quite bad #I’m worried I have a chest infection but also I’m always worried it’s something #I have so many things I need to ring the doctors about and whether or not I can book multiple appointments depends entirely #on the personal inclinations of the receptionist I end up with #could very much go either way

[blujayonthewing]

accidentally let one blorbo trick me into wearing a protective hairstyle to bed and another trick me into eating robust and filling breakfasts now I just gotta channel Felix to get back into Going Outside Sometimes and Lookin At Stuff and Putting It In A Little Book

#the true purpose of his ending up with straight up self insert qualities. the circle completes itself #felix is very urban now but he grew up in the middle of the forest #SO his canon journal doesn't currently have a lot of nature sketches-- it's mostly people-- but the vibe is there it still counts #CONSIDERING I HAVEN'T BEEN LEAVING THE HOUSE AND DOING SKETCHES FROM LIFE AT ALL OF ANYTHING EVER #lifehack: offload some of yourself into your OCs so they can give it back when you forget how to be a person #it's been... it's weird. it's very weird I'm so out of the habit that I feel like I don't know where or how to start #I HAVE a sketchbook but I'll open to a blank page to draw from life and just immediately bluescreen #and don't even get me started on the Leaving The House difficulties which are many and varied and complicated #I used to be Outdoorsy :') #about me #my OCs #Felix

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

great news!! i DID finally get my executives to function, and i sat down and journaled about writing things for AN HOUR AND A HALF, and i feel SO MUCH BETTER with all that word vomit OUT, and WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS WORK

#text #personal #writing #journaling #lol like i KNOW it works that's why i've been meaning to do it for AN ENTIRE MONTH #and YET!!! #anyway #pyr0clast ur immortal wisdom about breaks and breaks from breaks has been Canonized lol thank u friend #i wrote four fucking pages and my wrist is Tired XD #WHAT A NIGHT I SHOULD BE IN BED TWO HOURS AGOOOO

[fentanyl-rabbits]

#pages from my journal #my journal #personal #collage #angel #stickers #medical #historical prothesis #tw bugs #disney

[lunarcrossingart]

I had a funny dream that I needed to share, because this attraction just made me laugh so hard!

Dream Context under cut!

Apparently in this dream, vtubing really kicked off. (however the host wasn't youtube and idk what video site was used) So, places started to cater to the vtuber experience. My channel's slogan was "If the staff has to be in person, I will be too." and I only reviewed places that you could participate in person with. However, I would just interview the staff if the place was 100% virtual. The Haunted Manor was a large puzzle box location that was very acclaimed in my dream. It was like sponsored by pepsi, doritos, a few other things, (musicians like the one in the picture), which was interesting because like normally I can't read in dreams nor do irl companies ever show up in my dreams. I typically rated a place by what they give you as a prize for someone physically present since I could not receive virtual gifts.... I got a looooot of doritios, but the keys to unlock the rooms were physical and really well designed. I liked visiting in person too because you only have to pay the entry fee once and they couldn't kick you out. If you visit virtually, you get a lil health bar and you have to pay readmission if you 'died' in the puzzle box. (Hence, it's common courtesy to be like 'I am going to touch that' if you're going to tap an animatronic or trigger a trap.)

I was particularly proud of myself because I received a Moon Key, which unlocks one of the three harder rooms within the library floor. To get there, I needed to cross the courtyard again. A vtuber saw that I had the item and was asking me how I got it. I didn't tell her, but I got it from the fireplace. The puzzle there was to touch the mantle pictures with the same item in the paintings around the room. Then the lion's bust on top of the fire place opened and gave me more doritios.... but then the moon key descended from the ceiling so I didn't complain.

And like in the courtyard was this stupid, hilarious abomination. The TS curse was motion sensitive, she chase you if you were moving and apparently could one hit OK virtual players. I told the other players that so we could deactivate her and I could finally use the REALLY cool key on the REALLY cool puzzle room BUT THEN WHEN I GOT TO THE ELAVATOR I WOKE UP 🥲 It sucks to wake up before a conclusion!!! BLAH!!! >:V

#page from my personal journal

[rosielav]

Rosa Murasaki joins the party!!

Heavily inspired by the Leaf design, Rosa is a 20something Pokémon trainer who is starting her journey 10+ years late! She's never had a Pokémon, never bought from a Mart, never even seen a Pokémon Gym before. Please look forward to following her adventures in:

Rosa's PokéJournal, first installment coming soon!!

#Pokémon #Pokémon OC #Rosa's PokéJournal #That's what I'll tag any post relating to this project so I can find it later :) #Basically I'm gonna play Leaf Green thru the lens of Rosa #And as things happen I'll journal about it from her perspective and have drawings of Pokémon and places #And my goal for this project is to get better at drawing Pokémon and better at sketching in general #As well as being a creative exercise :) #So I hope you look forward to it! It's a physical journal! #I'm either going to stream reading sections of it or simply post it on here and Twitter like page by page #And yes I know her legs are too long I drew this at a weird angle and didn't notice until I took a top down picture lmao #I think she looks very cute and tbh I'm really proud of myself for making a decent Pokémon person #Even tho I did use reference especially for the top half like very heavily I still hadn't done it before so I'm happy

[britneyshakespeare]

i have written thirty pages in my diary that i started three days ago

#im in my feelings a lot lately #it's the end of the semester i have a lot to ruminate about ok #i usually don't even write every day. it's not a habit i've tried to have in a long time. to me it's antithetical to regular journaling #to have a schedule. the schedule should be when you find the opportune time and have the energy. #for my adhd ass that takes a lot of intuition. and a lot of the time i write entries before i go to bed after ive taken my meds #so i get drowsy and have to end it early but not always. sometimes i write when im on adderall and ive done all my tasks #and i reward myself for being a good girl by getting to write in my diary and catch up w my favorite person. me. #but yeah. ive written for the last three days in a row and at an average of ten pages. and it's not like a very small notebook. #i feel good about it tho. i like doing it im just. having the feels #tales from diana #if you think i never shut up in the tags it's because ive been a diarist since i was 9 #i have perfected the art of talking to myself

[heartbeetz]

I was never super fond of those "your f/os are real in a different universe (and also maybe they try to find ways to communicate with you in this universe)" ideas when it comes to my own ships, but I've always loved the way Jօurnal 3 ends...

This is literally so so so nice and I like it a lot.

#like... #I have a very complicated relationship with romance so being in charge yet simultaneously disconnected is what makes it enjoyable for me #and also I get easily unnerved by unreality stuff #so the fact that these are fictional characters is good #I'm just playing in the brainspace #the feelings are real and the ideas being expressed hold weight (and often I treat them like they're real) #but when it comes down to it I know it's fiction so I can do whatever bc it's ''safe'' and personal #but like.... idk.... this page is really really sweet and means a lot to me #when I first got j3 I wrote ''stay currious‚ stay weird‚ stay kind'' on my mirror and then made it into a sticker I've kept on my laptop #and even though I know it's a book and not the real journal of a character from a cartoon... #I have to admit I like the ''unless we meet in some distant world'' #maybe we will. who's to say. #maybe in one of those worlds we already have #having a gf night tonight. my show. it's important to me and probably always will be tbh. even when I'm old and grown :') #roz posts #♡: 👓📚🌲

[ocpdzim]

If anyone’s got good sources on the impact of testosterone HRT on joint hypermobility and/or bone density please send them to me, I am looking them up on my own too but I’d like to have as many as possible to possibly present to my doctor

#i have seen conflicting reports on whether it makes bone density better or worse #PERSONALLY from my reading on it i suspect its a situation of like. #it makes bone density worse if you have less total sex hormones??? so a hysterectomy + hrt can damage bone density if its not enough hrt #but just hrt should be ok #but that's just conjecture based upon the fact that apparently both low T and low E can be a problem for bone density #so i am assuming that if both were high then that would probably be like. good actually. #i have found several pages corroborating that T can help with hypermobility but none are Medical Journals or whatever #just like. individual testimony. which is good but a study would be better #you know me though. i am NOT saying shit to my doctor about it until i have a full powerpoint #she's great and all but it's unusual enough i don't expect primary care doctors to be experts in it