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#spilled everything
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If I Could
The word, 'can' is becoming inevitable
It's basically a guarantee
The word, 'could'
Is a better word for maybe
If I 'could' date you, I'd make you happy
If I 'could' talk to you, I'd be speechless
If I 'could' see you, I'd never blink
If I 'could' marry you, it'd be tomorrow
If we 'can' elope, sounds unpermissable
If I 'could', I would as your dad for your hand
If I 'could'
If I 'could', I'd change our past
If I 'could', I'd change the present
If we 'can', we'd change our future
Like your feelings for me
It won't change
The word, 'could' presents a hope
If I 'could' get over you, I'd be motivated
If I 'could' be with you, I'd be ecstatic
They're desires I wish to be fulfilled
If I 'could', I'd fill them myself
If I 'could'.......
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katiexkatx · a day ago
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My body is a work of art. Every curve is a perfect work. Every stretch mark painstakingly painted into perfection. Every dimple placed with love. Scars from self hatred like pink ribbons line my perfect arms. My fingers have touched greatness and it shows. My laughter like a song written intentionally to sooth your soul. Every inch of this canvas was sculpted with love. So why do I hate it so much.
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bushranayeem · a day ago
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I hate it, I hate feeling everything
I hate myself for saying everything
I want you to know
It’s not a show
These are my secrets to keep
I hate it when I force myself to speak
All I need is sleep
Sleep won’t be easy tonight
I dread as it will be light
I don’t want you to stay
Let me push you away
I hate everything I say
I hate it when I feel all this
Let me stay in my dark abyss
You and I are not the same
That’s a shame
Just stay away from me
Even I wouldn’t want to be with me
You won’t understand a thing
I want you to know it stings
I don’t want to feel anything
I hate it, I hate feeling things
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katiexkatx · a day ago
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I thought I could love you enough. I thought if I showed you yourself through my eyes it would be enough. I thought if you saw the way you look at me. The way I look at you. I thought if I held on to you. I thought if I believed in you. It would be enough. But it’s never enough.
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perfectquote · a day ago
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He knew that I love you also means I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.
Jonathan Safran Foer // Everything is Illuminated
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jasanta-joseph · 2 days ago
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If the boy who draws
lets you look over his shoulder,
If the poet smiles
and shows you her words,
If the girl who sings for the shower only,
hums a song, in front of you,
Know that you’re no longer a person...
but the air and dust
that fills their lungs.
When the world perishes,
and all things cease to exist,
you’ll remain inside an ink stain,
a paint brush,
a song💞
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katiexkatx · 2 days ago
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See you are the entire galaxy wrapped in a perfect package of blue eyes and radiant smiles. You are the smell of the rain on hot pavement welcomed with open arms never willing to stay too long. You come back again like crisp autumn winds but get blown away in winter storms. Never here but never quiet there. Washed up with tide but pulled right back out I can never get my hands on you myself. Constantly slipping away I’m constantly begging you to stay. But just as the sun must set you must go. But just as the rain will come.
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broken-brain-syndrome · 2 days ago
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Self Aware Tragedy pt:2
feel your head eyes run red twisted thoughts twisted knots all out of meds what's up doc scratching at invisible bugs cold concrete pray to sleep on a rug only warmth holding yourself imitating a hug the prescription non-existent ill-temperament torching the bridges to betterment pulling the trigger lighting the fire wouldn't even hesitate run downed real estate that's unaffordable but on the outside adorable with a flesh loving cenobite residing inside an example of how the mighty have fallen but stay high in the twenty first century it's funny how many times you can die and still be alive there's the devils new slogan immortality it's only a injection away so get in line
*Self aware Tragedy part 2:by Andrew Kelly
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letterst0n00ne · 4 days ago
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i can break your neck if i wanted. i told her this wouldn’t end well. blue eyes like crystals in my bloodstream, the anxiety that kept me up at night, the thoughts that would never allow me to rest. i can’t tell her how i feel, i know how i feel, but what good would that do?
i haven’t slept well in at least a month. five days of poor sleep over one that feels like i passed out. could i get nothing in between? she looked at me and laughed, the gaps between her teeth, the spaces to be filled by my flesh. as i expected. how can i expect, when i wait? how can i wait if that is all that i know?
did she ever have me? i kissed her softly, wet eyes, closed over who i lost. want me, find me. tell me i exist.
i begged her to eat me. i have been dreaming about it, because it was the only way. only then i would finally know what i learned to ignore. the pain would tell me, it would clear my mind, it would erase what i forgot, i lived, i lived, i lived. could i then learn to be free? her eyes gently stared at my destruction. how laughable, how despicable. i lied in front of us, an animal so defeated it was beyond surrender.
i wanted her teeth to tear my stomach. destroy my skin, mark your scars over me. finish what they started. bring me closer to you. maybe then i could be hers. maybe then i could be beautiful.
i would lick the blood dripping from her lips, her victory over me. she could show it to them. i could show it to them.
she put her fingers inside my mouth, one by one. have i been awake this whole time, or have i died years ago? tie my wrists until they are numb, why don’t you? i’m ready.
i whispered in her ears while the wind blew raindrops to my windows. green light, cars flashing as they passed me, spread over the road. a storm was moving as i dived into the pavement, elastic as my brain, the old chewing gum glued under her desk. a memory.
i closed the doors and brought her hands closer to the bullet hole. shining a light that my neighbors could see, she raised both her arms and crossed through. i asked her, can you see me now?
climb the ladder, reach through the corners, shut your eyes and find me. i’m everywhere and nowhere. do you know my name? i’m the voice that’s always been with you. where have you been?
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katiexkatx · 4 days ago
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I am a broken plate on my mothers kitchen floor. I am hateful slurs whispered through locked bathroom doors. You are sunshine and a hurricane, oh so perfect until the second your not. I am hiding in fear until I’m given the all clear. The sound of the tap dripping slowly signals your anger washed down the drain. Signals it’s now safe. Your hands can be gentle yet they’ve left countless bruises. This is nothing new you always do this. Black eyes and swollen lips don’t hold a candle to being enough. You crack my ribs like kindling for the fire you’ve started to keep me warm. I am both safe and lost in your arms. Your brown eyes grow dark and a shadow lurks just aiming to hurt. Your voice is both booming and soothing. My greatest weakness is knowing it will happen again. Is letting it happen again.
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