#overwhelmed by the work I need to do for this event I literally broke down crying today ahhhh

[mookybear12404]

I feel so bad everytime I talk to someone all it just ends up me venting abt work I need to stop doing that

#thats literally ALL thats going on in my life shdfjlhkl #im. so tired #two ER trips yesterday and today has been a hot mess #trying to get paperwork for a purchase has been a pain #overwhelmed by the work I need to do for this event I literally broke down crying today ahhhh #I hate that spending time with people has started to become stressful #like 'I have so much work things to do anything thats not work is immediately going to make me feel bad' #I have a work meeting at 8am tomorrow but idc im staying up for the new genshin release #I desperately need this serotonin #mooky talks #vent post #delete later

[alltoolewis]

Core Memories- Mason Mount 🤍

As a Disney girl, I had this wild idea to do a series based on inside out where I do 5 different core memories that are based on the 5 emotions- Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear & Disgust. Hope you all enjoy them & please let me know who you would like one for next 🤍

Also ‘joy’ might be one of my favourites that I have written in awhile! It’s literally my dream!!!

Summary- The 5 emotions of your and Mason's relationship... (disclaimer these don’t run in order of events..)

SADNESS

“Honey I’m home..” Mason sang through your shared house, expecting you to run in his open arms like you normally did. But as his arms were left empty and not a sound could be heard he knew something was wrong.

“(Y/n)” he called, dropping his stuff instantly as he entered the living room to find you. His heart stopped as you weren’t were you normally were, your mug wasn’t on the coffee table and your laptop was closed shut something that was barely seen in all your years of dating “baby? Where are you?”

Running up the stairs, his heart shattered as he entered your bedroom finding you curled up on the bed, eyes red and puffy as silent sobs escaped your mouth “omg darling what’s happened?” Making his way to the other side of the bed, he wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you into a comforting spoon. A muffled response came from your lips as he drew patterns down your arms in hopes to calm your overwhelmed body down “what was that baby?”

“They let me go…” you whispered, voice cracking as you turned around his arms. Your wet eyes being met with his concerned ones as you broke down completely “they actually did it… they let me go..”

Mason pulled you closer to his chest, as your tears soaked his training top. It was speculated for months now that your dream job you had bagged just under a year ago was having a shuffle round & the newer employers would be the most vulnerable. For the last 2 months you had worked your arse off to keep the position, doing every extra shift you could, working over time every night.. even sacrificing your nights off with Mason to do it. But your efforts weren’t good enough…

“Shhh.. shhhh it’s okay…” Mason hushed you, rubbing your back up and down as your cries and heavy breathing could only be heard “your going to be okay baby…”

“I worked so hard mase…” you mumbled into his chest “I put everything into that job and they sacked me… I failed them… I failed you… I’m so stupid!”

“Hey, stop that… you didn’t fail anyone especially me!” he whispered, his own tears threatening to escape as he watched you fall apart for the first time in front of him “you are the most talented, hardworking, driven woman I have ever met! You deserve the world baby girl! A job that will appreciate you for who you are & respect you for everything you do for them! That shit place didn’t deserve you… I love you so much okay, so fucking much… your going to be okay”

Feeling a tear drop on your temple, you looked up to find a crying Mason causing your heart to break even more “why are you crying?” You mumbled, not trusting your voice to speak loudly as the tears continued to fall down your boyfriends cheek “I just hate seeing you this way sweetheart… putting your self down because they didn’t treat you right. It’s not fair… you don’t deserve this”

Wrapping your leg round his waist, you moved to straddle him, allowing your head to fall in the crook of his neck as he continued to massage your back “I don’t know what I’m going to do Mason… I need to work, I can’t be 22 and unemployed my family will be so disappointed in me once they find out..”

Moving your chin to look at him, he placed his lips to yours, your tears mixing together as you kissed the sadness in your bodies away “listen to me…” he mumbled, pulling away from you as he kept his head to yours “you are not an embarrassment okay? You’ll never be one! & I don’t worry about a job.. we’ll find you one that’ll treat you fair, but until then your going to rest and let your body relax, your overworked darling… but there is a positive in this your not thinking of…”

“Is there?” You mumbled

“Yes..” he smiled, pecking your nose “until you find one we get to spend more time together… no overtime or extra shifts, just me and you!”

For the first time that night, your lips pulled up into a grin “I love you so much Mason… I don’t know what I’d ever do without you…”

“You’ll never find out baby..” he whispered “because unlike your shit job I’m not going anywhere… I’m never letting you go..” What started out as one of the worst days of your life, turned into one of the most learning…

The day you figured out your worth and value all in the arms of the love of your life… a learning you’d never forget!

FEAR

"How longs left?..." You muttered nervously to Jaz, not having the nerve to look at the huge screen in front of you displaying the time as your eyes remained fixated on your team in front of you. "About 5 minutes" She replied, throwing her arm around your shoulder. Your eyes kept flicking between the field of different colors of blue and the bench where your boyfriend sat anxiously bouncing his knee. The ball continued to be passed around the pitch for what felt like the longest 5 minutes of your life, most of which was spent with your hands covering your face or your head nuzzled in Lewis's neck. Your head was spinning so much you didn't even realize the full-time whistle had been blown until you saw the crowd of royal blue erupts and your feet being swept off the ground as his brother bounced up and down with you. Screams of 'he's done it' and 'Let's fucking go!' filled the section but your mouth remained closed... letting the moment sink in that your boyfriend, your best friend, the love of your life has just achieved something that you had both dreamed of since you were little kids. Having plenty of pillow talks of over the last couple of years about your dreams and aspirations... and now one of his has come true & you couldn't of been prouder!

"Are you coming down?" Debbie smiled, her own eyes teary as she gathered her stuff ready to head down to see her little boy, but you shook your head "I think I'll stay up here.." You mumbled, anxiety bubbling you as you thought about standing in the middle of the pitch in front of thousands of fans and cameras. Even after years of dating Mase, you still hadn't gotten used to it all, something about being under the spotlight always freaked you out, some people still thought he was single due to the lack of your appearance in public. Mason never pushed you to be so tho, and although he wished you would join him for seasonal celebrations or to show you off in public he knew you weren't comfortable. "You sure?" Lewis sighed, wrapping his arm around you "I think he would love to have you down there with him & besides nothing going to happen love, we will all be there for you."

Taking one last look down to the pitch, finding Mason dancing and messing around with Chilly and Reece. But with the insecurity still being there you shook your head "I'm sure" You smiled "I'll stay in the VIP box until it cools down a little, then I might come down... can you let Mase know that I am proud of him tho? & give him a kiss from me!"

"Of course, we can! but maybe not the kiss!" Lewis chuckled, as Debbie hit his chest "We will see you in a bit sweetheart!" Debbie beamed, waving you goodbye as you both went in different directions, them heading down while you went to hide in the booths.

The second he saw his family he knew something was missing "Where's (y/n)?" Mason asked as he finished hugging his mum, still looking over her shoulder in hopes to find you stood there. "Oh, she's up there..." Lewis sighed, pointing over to the VIP booth, leaning down to whisper into his brother's ear "She was feeling a bit anxious mate, so she said she's going to wait for it all to cool down & then she might pop down" Mason's heart sunk at his brother's words, not liking the idea of you being all alone there when your feeling uncomfortable "She is okay tho right?" Mason asked voice full of worry. "Bro she is fine, I promise I wouldn't of left her if she wasn't" He felt a little better after hearing that but still he didn't feel right.

"She wanted you to know that she is so proud of you!" His mother smiled, as his heart burst. "She also wanted us to give you a kiss but I ain't doing that" Lewis joked, causing Mason to throw his head back laughing.

The next 15 minutes were spent taking pictures and chatting to the other family members, and although he tried to keep preoccupied and not be distracted by you not being there, he couldn't handle it any longer. "Mase!" Lewis called as he spotted him walking away "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to be with my girl!" Mason smiled, looking up to the almost empty box, only having you in it but it was about to gain one more person as he sprinted down the tunnel.

While that was going on, you watched the celebrations with nothing but tears in your eyes. A mixture of pride and disappointment. Although you were ecstatic for the team, a part of you couldn't help but feel angry and disappointed, for letting your anxiety and insecurity yet again ruin it for not only you but Mason. Watching all the other players being congratulated by their partners, kissing and hugging as the confetti falls down on them, broke your heart. Despite Mase telling you many times that it didn't matter & that your celebrations in private means much more to him, you knew he was lying! He wanted that moment just as much as you did... but you just wasn't ready for it.

Sighing you turned away from the pitch view window, not being able to handle it any longer. Sitting down at the table perched in the middle of the room, you sighed allowing the tears to fall freely down your face. You were so caught up in your own pity party, that you didn't realize your boyfriend leaning against the wall as he watched you with a broken heart.

"I hope those are happy tears..." He chuckled half-heartedly making your head shoot up in shock "Cause if not I always suspected that you are a city fan!"

Giggling you shook your head, meeting him halfway as you threw yourself in his arms "What are you doing up here Mase?" You sighed, looking up to him as he wiped away your falling tears "It didn't feel right celebrating down there without my favorite girl" He smiled "So if she isn't ready to come down there to me... I'll go up to her!"

Your heart melted at his kind gesture as you gave him a sympathetic smile, all of a sudden feeling guilty for making him miss out on celebrating with his team "I'm so sorry Mase.." You sighed, leaning further into his touch as you placed your head on his chest "I've ruined it for you again... you should be down there with your team & your family, the people who have helped you on this journey every step of the way. Not your over-anxious girlfriend who can't even make it down on a field without breaking down-"

Cutting your words short', Mason places his lips to yours taking any remaining stress and anxiety from your body as he felt you relax against his touch. His hands held you close as he broke away slightly, whispering between the small gap of your lips "If I remember correctly sweetheart... you were the one who has been with me every step of the way..." You hated to admit it but he was correct, throughout the whole season you were by his side. Celebrating every win, consoling him after every loss. There wasn't a single match that you didn't watch or support him in

"But-"

"No 'buts' baby..." Mason chuckled as he took off the medal around his neck, instead letting it fall around yours. Picking up the metal, he placed it on his lips "We have done this, together..." Meeting him in the middle with tears in your eyes, you place your lips on the other side "Together..."

Smiling at your words, Mason grabbed two champagne flutes off the table, filling them both up before handing you one "To Chelsea, To our Love, To each other... I love you (y/n) more than any celebration... cheers to us!"

"I love you too Mase... more than anything in the world, cheers"

Wrapping his arms around your waist, You and mason continued to watch the rest of the celebrations continue from the comfort of the private box. It was that moment where it really sunk in what he had achieved, and he didn't want to celebrate it any other way! The next 30 minutes were spent the same, small chit-chat about what had just happened, quick kisses, and confessions of love as the champagne made its way through your bloodstream. and although it started badly for you & things seemed uncertain... at the end of the night things became pretty memorable...

a core memory for sure!

DISGUST

“Please tell me you didn’t just put tomato sauce on that egg” you mumbled, covering your eyes in despair and utter disgust. Mason looked at you with a confused look, placing the bottle down slowly “no…” he replied, voice not sounding that convincing at all!

Peeking through the cracks of your fingers, you groaned as you noticed the red splodge of sauce on his plate “Mase! That’s gross, how can you even eat that…”

“Have you ever tried it?” He smirked, holding some of the dipped egg in near distance of you. “No I haven’t…” you groaned, taking one look at the fork in front as you gagged “& I ain’t going to so please get that away from me!”

“Your so dramatic..” Mason laughed, placing it in his mouth instead as you rolled your eyes “see delicious, your missing out baby..” he hummed, before continuing to shovel the vile food in his mouth.

“I’m not missing out on anything darling” you replied, gathering your plate of barely untouched food. Furrowing his eyebrows, Mason gave you a puzzling look “Where are you going?”

“Away from you & that disgusting concoction on your plate..” you smiled, patting him on the shoulder before going into the kitchen, getting comfy on one of the barstools set up on the counter.

Mason couldn’t help but laugh at how overdramatic you were being. Complementing to go with you or not, he decided that it was best to leave you be, just in case his food did gross you out to much. Once he was finished, he skipped to the kitchen with his empty plate still finding you perched up on the barstool with your phone in your hand.

Tiptoeing behind you, he placed his arms around your waist causing you to flinch a little as he whispered in your ear “did you miss me darling?”

Spinning around on the seat, you gave him a glare “I missed you… not your dinner tho!” Chuckling he wrapped his arms tighter around you, leaning down to give you a warming kiss one that you both craved ever since you had began your journey together…

But it didn’t last as long as it normally did as another gag fell from your lips.

“What’s wrong now!?!” Mason laughed as you pulled away from his touch, running to the sink to rinse your mouth “I can taste it!” You mumbled gargling as much water as your mouth could hold.

Mason watched you in amusement “your crazy..” he laughed shaking his head as you spat the water out, lifting your hand up to flip him off.

Although the experience was different for the two of you, you knew that neither of you would forget this moment for a long time… maybe forever!

ANGER

7pm… it was now 7pm & there was still no sign of Mason coming through the door. Sighing for the tenth time that hour, you reached for your phone hoping there was some sign that he had remembered the important dinner you had both planned for months. But as you were met with a empty notification tab you knew that he’d forgotten.

You wanted to remain hopeful, that he was planning some big grand gesture to celebrate your 3 years of love so. So you stayed put on landing stairs, the royal blue dress you had specifically picked for this occasion hugging your body & your mascara hanging on your eyelashes like a thread as tears began to threaten your eyes.

Your phone finally vibrated against your knee 40 minutes later, but your heart didn’t skip like it normally did when you saw his name, instead it deflated as you answered it instantly hearing the background noise of the busy club he clearly went to instead.

“Hi baby..” He spoke through the loud crowd, smile adamant in his voice.

“What do you want Mason?” You snapped, getting up from the stairs not even bothering to stop the tears anymore. He knew something was wrong as you spoke his full name. You never called him Mason unless there was something wrong!

Shuffling through the crowd he made his way outside “hey…hey. What’s happened darling?” He cluelessly replied not having any clue for sharpness.

“What happened!” You hissed, making your way up the stairs to get out of your outfit “Mason are you fucking serious right now!”

“(Y/N)… I don’t know what your talking abou-“

“YOU FUCKING FORGOT MASON!” You yelled, not even caring any more as your emotions sprung out of you. Silence filled the other side of the phone as Mason tried his best to figure out what exactly he had missed.

“See you don’t even know…” you snapped, ready to hang up the phone before he spoke up finally putting all the pieces together “(y/n), I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to okay… I’ve been busy with work and the start of the season & I know it’s not a excuse-“

“No mase it’s not!” You scoffed.

“Please just listen to me baby..” he pleaded wanting you to hear it out “I will come back now okay and we’ll spend the rest of the night together… I’ll make it up to you I promise”

“3 years mase..” you sighed, not having the energy to shout anymore “it was our 3 year anniversary… I’ve been waiting for you on our landing for 4 hours while you’ve been out parting with your ‘lads’ for the tenth time this week…” masons heart burst as he heard you pause, a muffled sob echoing through the speaker as you cried “I wanted tonight to be our night… to celebrate us & everything we’ve been through. But you had to chose them once again didn’t you… like you always do”

Your dig punched him right in the heart as he began to feel frustrated “I haven’t chose them over you!” He groaned “I’ve never chose them over you so stop being so needy!”

“Your unbelievable!” You cried, body freezing as his words sunk under your skin leaving a permanent mark “if you don’t chose them where are you now eh? Where are you now on one of the most important dates in our relationship?!?”

“(Y/n)…”

“Don’t (y/n) me Mason!” You growled causing goosbumps to rise on his skin at the unfamiliar tone “if I’m so needy and demanding how about you just call it quits! End it now so you can have all the freedom you want!”

“Please stop it … I love you! I didn’t mean it that way-“

“Don’t bother coming home!” You interrupted, voice shaking “I’m going to bed…”

“Please wait..” Mason pleaded, wanting to make it up with you but it was too late!

“Happy anniversary mase…” you sighed “have a nice night out with the lads… the sofa will be ready for you when you get home!” & with that you hung up, throwing your phone to the side as you broke down on the bedroom floor… this wasn’t the way you’d expected tonight to go.

You didn’t know how it was going to go after this, if you’d kiss and make up or leave it rotting for days until it couldn’t be fixed… but either way it was safe to say that neither of you would be forgetting it any time soon!

JOY

“Are you going to eat all that?” You giggled as Mason piled his plate up with all the croissants and pain au chocolat’s he could fit on his plate. “It’s not everyday we’re in Paris baby…” he laughed, giving you a playful stare “and anyway TT told me to enjoy myself and to eat as many pastries as I want so I’m making the most of it!”

Giggling, you shook your head, grabbing one of the many croissants on his plate giving it a nibble “well if the boss said, who am I to stop you!”

Glancing out the window your heart stopped slightly at the surroundings around you. You still couldn’t believe that you were in Paris, sat in front of the love of your life eating pastries and sipping red wine in the most famous city of love. When Mason told you that you were spending your 5 year anniversary here you didn’t believe him… one because of it being so last minute and two because it was in the middle of the season & Tom might not of given him the time off… but lucky for you the big boss hisself was more than happy to allow Mason to go a way for a couple of days, making him promise however that’ll hell put 100% effort into all games and trainings for the rest of the season!

“So what should we do tonight?” You smiled, sipping your red wine as Mason flashed you one of his signature smirks “leave that with me baby girl… I’ve got something up my sleeve for you tonight…” your eyes grew wide, as your mind instantly went to the dirtier side of his comment causing him to kick you gently under the table “you naughty girl! I meant I’m taking you out to dinner… why are you always thinking of sex am I piece of meat to you..” he playfully teased, causing you to giggle “of course not! But after last night how am I not supposed to think of the most vulgar… you were rough!”

Getting up from the table, Mason removed your plates, giving you a cheeky kiss before taking them to the other side of the room. “Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it” he smirked “I think the whole floor now knows my name!”

“Oh shush..” you chuckled, walking over to him to wrap your arms around his waist “what should I wear tonight anyway… you can’t just throw a surprise date at me and not tell me what to wear..”

Pulling away from your hug, Mason made his way over to his case pulling out a Givenchy gift bag and Louboutin heels making your eyes go wide. Just as you were about to comment Mason cut you off with a smile “before you start commenting on the price… I wanted to spoil you okay? Make you feel as special as you make me…”

Handing you the bag first, your hands trembled as you pulled out the most gorgeous royal blue split dress you had ever seen instantly making your eyes tear up “oh my god mase…”

“Wait till you see the shoes…” he smirked handing you the small ruffle bag containing a stunning pair of glittery red bottom heels.

“These must of cost you so much mase, I don’t deserve-“ putting his finger across your lips to shut you up, Mason whispered “you deserve the world… & I want to be the one to give it you…”

“Mase..” you sighed, feeling the tears fill up your eyes, causing Mason to chuckle instantly wiping away the fallen tear “don’t cry baby, your going to set me off and the day has barely started… now go put on the stunning dress, our reservations is in 2 hours”

Not waiting another minute to try it on you slipped off to the bathroom, feeling like a Disney princess as you slipped the perfect gown on. Once all your makeup was set and your hair was placed in a tidy high top pony tail you left the side room to find a suited and booted Mason looking as handsome as ever.

His eyes went wide as he took in your frame… you always looked beautiful to him, there wasn’t a day that you didn’t. But right now, you looked like perfection… there’s was nothing on this planet, or even the universe that could compare to you in this moment…

“Wow..” he sighed, allowing a tear to fall down his cheek “you look-… wow!”

Giggling, you pulled him closer to you “don’t cry baby… the nights barely started yet” you teased repeating the words he spoke to you earlier. Giving his lips a gentle peck, you smiled “but thank you handsome… you look unreal too!”

Taking your hand in his, he kissed it softly “thank you my darling… how about we get going yeah? So i can show the whole of Paris how stunning my girlfriend is…”

“Let’s go…”

———-

The rest of the evening was spent with nothing but tipsy kisses and glasses of wine, as you and mase celebrated your love in the only way that was fitting for you both! After the meal and Delicious desert, Mason insisted on you both taking a walk to the Eiffel Tower & who were you to miss out on the opportunity to see the landmark on the most special day of your life!

“Wow…” you breathed out as you took in the scene in front of you “it’s beautiful…”

“I know..” Mason sighed. As you turned to look at him you discovered he wasn’t looking at the glistening tower in front of you… he was looking at you.

“I love you so much…” he mumbled as he wrapped his around you from behind “more than anything in the world!”

“I love you too mase…” you whispered not wanting to ruin the moment “thank you for the best night of my life”

“It’s not over yet baby..” he smiled, kissing your neck as he grabbed your head “let’s head back to the hotel, it’s getting a bit cold for you to stand out here..”

Nodding your head, you squeezed his hand indicating him that you were good to go back. But as you began walking home, you noticed his behaviour shift, his hands were shaking like crazy and his mind looked like it was constantly on the run. But Every time you tried to figure out what was going on, he would politely dismiss you stating he was just cold.

Once you got back to the room, Mason pulled out the card key swiping it in the lock before taking a step back causing you to raise your brow in confusion “ladies first…” he smirked, causing you to giggle as you pulled open the door finding it filled with complete darkness.

“Mase..” you questioned, as he flipped on the light, closing the door behind you both as you took in the sight in front of you…

Rose petals covered the floor and bed, as balloons lifted in the ceiling each attached to a photograph of you both through the years… your hands trembled as they traced each one, eyes tearing up at the memories around you. “Mason..” you whispered, turning back round to face where he was still stood at near the door “how did you do th-“

Your body froze as you released he was no longer stood, instead kneeled on one knee! “Oh my god Mason..” you breathed, covering your mouth as tears leaked from both of your eyes..

“My (y/n)..” Mason started, a tear running down his cheek “I can’t imagine my life without you, I don’t want to even think of it. You are my light, my world, my soulmate… you make me the happiest man in the world by supporting me and showing me nothing but love & I want nothing more to have that for the rest of my life… so (y:n), my darling will you do me the honour in marrying me?”

Without thinking you lept in his arms, causing you both to topple over with tears and giggles surrounding you! “Yes..” you whispered, kissing his lips repeatedly “I’ll marry you…”

What began as the most memorable morning ended with it being the most memorable day! With a little help from the hotel staff, Tom & of course the love of your life!!!

#mason mount x reader #chelsea blurb #chelsea #mason mount blurbs #mason mount imagines #mason mount one shot #Mason mount #Mason mount blurb #Mason mount imagine

[lordoftherazzles]

I can’t believe we’re at 2023!! What a year it’s been...both good and bad. First and foremost, I want to say thank you to my followers, readers, mutuals, friends, whoever you are - thank you. I couldn’t have made it through this year without you! 

I did this last year and I wanted to do it again with a few added/removed questions, but I feel like we all need a little moment to celebrate our successes and accomplishments, so here’s mine under the cut!

Fandom(s) written for: The Hobbit, Our Flag Means Death Pairings written for: Bilbo/Thorin, Ed/Stede  Number of works (total): 20 How many of those are completed?: 11 Word count (prev year): 241,178 Word count (2022): 534,448 (293,270 more than last year, not counting tumblr drabbles) # of WIPs: Enough?? Literally, I don’t know anymore loool. I have 7 active fics currently, 8 plot bunnies that have outlines/content written, and at least 15 sitting in the little brain-crockpot (aka my idea spreadsheet) waiting to be fleshed out.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

I’ll always say I wish I had posted more, there were some chunks in my year that really hit me hard and made writing nearly impossible, but looking at the actual numbers...posting almost 300k on ao3 this year? I can’t be mad at that. Here’s to hoping next year maybe I can break 300k!! 

To put my year into perspective a little bit, I broke it down a little bit more!

Posted 37 chapters/updates

Posted 7 oneshots (2 within my King and Lionheart collection)

Posted 9 plot bunnies

Finished 2 big fics (6 chapters each)

This doesn’t count the drabbles I did for tumblr, and looking at it this way, I am definitely feeling pretty good about my 2022 - here’s to hoping 2023 is even better!!

Did you take any writing risks this year?

I feel like I did!!

Participated in TRSB

Created a fic writer’s blog to support other fic writers @fellowshipofthefics

Wrote for a new fandom (OFMD)

Hosted a new Hobbit Event via FOTFICS

Plot bunny follower event!! SO MANY IDEAS.

I did a lot of birthday gift writings this year

SO MANY COLLABS!!! And more to come...

Did you participate in any fandom events this year?

I took part in two! It was my first time participating in the Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang this year, and I was partnered with the ever delightful @mysandwichranaway! We came up with a very fun modern!royalty AU that I am very proud of. Sandy did some amazing artwork for it as well, and honestly, this was my first multichapter fic finished (6 chapters!) and was written in about 3 months. Not too bad! → Between Vices and Virtues

Fellowship of the Fics hosted a Hobbit event, An Unexpected Collaboration where I was partnered with @consultingpacha! I had a few plot bunnies stored away and one worked so well with our prompt, and it was nice to get one off the list! Pacha’s artwork continues to blow me away, and I’m very happy with this fic. The positive response has been overwhelming already! → The Night We Met

Both fics have potential sequels! We’ll see how time goes for me this next year.

Do you have any fanfic or general writing goals for the new year?

I’d like to finish projects first and foremost, as well as unleash some new ones. Alongside that though as a writer I’d like to explore new situations/tropes/vocabulary/smut and just expand on what I’m doing already. I’m hoping to put out more words than I did this year, and focus more on my fics rather than events (though I had a lot of fun!)

Next year is the year of Razzy fics - I have so many different plot bunnies I want to tackle! That in itself will help me expand my horizons.

From the past year of writing, what was your…

Longest story: May Your Forge Burn Bright (79,010 words)

Shortest story: Concerning Dwobbits (2,635 words)

Top 3 by kudos: Though I don’t like to think that stats say what is a good fic and what is a bad fic, sometimes I just can’t help but look at them. My current top 3 by kudos in no particular order!

→ Seasalt and Silk (OFMD) → May Your Forge Burn Bright → Dragonhearted

Best story of this year: I am picking this one purely on the fact that in 2 chapters, it’s blowing some stats out of the water, and we’re on the pirate train (thank you, OFMD) I am thoroughly impressed with the feedback and response from this fic already, and I am so excited to continue it! It’s going to be a fun ride! → As The Tide Turns

Personal favorite of 2022: My first collab project, and with my beloved @stardryad-random!! Honestly, this story feels so original even though it has head nods to other forms of media, and it just took on a life of its own. This one will also finish out in 2023!! So be on the lookout for more updates from both myself and Star! → When Darkness Shines Brightest

Most fun to write: I think this one is a tie. I feel like I have the most genuine happy-crackshit-fun when writing two of my modern AUs that have been around for a while, both for completely different reasons. First there’s the band AU, there’s just something about a slice of life journey featuring music and books (which are two of my favorite things) that really touches my heart. Then there’s the real crackshit fic, my WWDITS inspired vampire fic, where I can literally put the stupidest ideas and it just...works, somehow. It still has a plot, I promise!! I feel like the readers have fun with these fics as well! → Bookbinder//Songwriter → Where The Shadows Lie

Most challenging to write: I think every fic is going to be challenging in some way, but the one that springs to mind (which is why it was delayed so much) is Dragonhearted. The latest update was a bit chaotic. Lots of characters, lots of fighting, and it was very important for me to ensure it was clear to the reader as to what was going on. Battle scenes aren’t something I’m overly confident in yet, but this made me figure it out pretty quickly (or slowly, actually).  → Dragonhearted

Fic I’m proudest of writing: Honestly, this is the year of events (yes, even just two) and I am insanely proud of both of them. They may not be “big behemoth fics” by any means, but considering they both have decent word counts and I did them in 1-3 months a piece, I’m pretty grateful and have every reason to be proud! → Between Vices and Virtues → The Night We Met

Story with the single sweetest moment? (Top 3)

Bookbinder//Songwriter (The Acorn Tattoo) - Bilbo has spent the evening with Bofur, Nori and Ori, preparing for Bree Bash with a more “rockified” look, which includes piercings and one tattoo. We have an “acorn” scene, a declaration of not needing to change for the other, and overall, it’s just very sweet.

Between Vices and Virtues (Gold and riches cannot compare to you) - Here we have a cliche train scene, but with a small twist. Thorin doesn’t make it to the station in time to catch Bilbo before he leaves for the Shire after a misunderstanding/falling out. He pulls strings to make the train come back so that he can right some wrongs that never should have happened in the first place.

(Take Me Back To) The Night We Met (Forget-me-nots) - Without spoiling too much as this is a newer fic, we see Thorin and Bilbo talking about a few keepsakes, such as a rune stone, some forget-me-nots, both gifted by the other. Give it a read!

Story with the most angsty moment? (Top 3)

When Darkness Shines Brightest (The Fall of Erebor) - This whole story takes the cake on “angsty” but this particular scene where Bilbo is whisked away into a shadow dream to witness for himself what happened to Erebor truly wins the angsty award.

May Your Forge Burn Bright (Mine Collapse) - Bilbo is caught in a mine collapse, and Thorin desperately tries to unbury his hobbit with doubt in his head and worry in his heart that it may be a body to be recovered.

Kurdu ‘abadaz (My sister’s sons) - Thorin gets to see Fili and Kili for the first time since Ravenhill. He’s smacked with the severity of their injuries, and naturally, blames himself.

Least popular fic: A one shot request that is a gen fic for Thorin, Fili, and Kili. I found it very fun and sweet to write, but it’s definitely showing me that ship fics get way more attention. → I’ll Keep You Safe

Biggest Disappointment: While there are always going to be highs and lows with writing, I am pretty disappointed in the response to my TRSB fic, which is one I am very proud of, and it just didn’t seem like there was the response I was looking for. I understand that the event was VERY Silm heavy, and probably should have altered my expectations, but I had wanted it to do better. Sandy and I both worked very hard on this Modern Royalty Bagginshield fic. I know modern!au can be a bit finicky with the fandom...but give it a chance!! → Between Vices and Virtues

Biggest Surprise: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Collaboration - honestly, this fic was a small nugget of a plot bunny after spotting some artwork some months ago, and I wanted to do a little short story based off of it. It blew up. It was a perfect prompt for Pacha and I’s collab, and it’s not even been out a month, and it’s SOOOO loved by the community??? I’ve never had a story with so many comments asking for a sequel. It’s overwhelming in the most unexpected, yet amazing, way! → The Night We Met

What can we expect in 2023?

Word Count: I almost hit 300k this year, so I want to surpass the 300k mark if possible!

Finishing Fics: I am determined to finish a few of my big fics such as ”Dragonhearted”, “May Your Forge Burn Bright”, and “When Darkness Shines Brightest”!

Starting Fics: Some of the plot bunnies are going to show up in 2023, you can check them out → here!

Collaborative Works: I would love to do more collabs with my fellow creators! (Stay on the look out, you just might see @sunnyrosewritesstuff and I working together soon enough.)

FOTFICS Participation/Drabbles: While I don’t really take requests anymore, I will be participating in more FOTFICS monthly challenges - which means taking suggestions from my followers <3

Positive Vibes Only: A more positive Razzy.

Now, to tie off my Year In Review, the ever lovely @i-did-not-mean-to tagged me in a fun little game to show off some of my favorite bits of work I’ve done this year.

Five works I'm proud of (tho I’m proud of them all)

When Darkness Shines Brightest

As The Tide Turns

Bookbinder//Songwriter

Dragonhearted

May Your Forge Burn Bright

Four new WIPs I am excited to release next year

Fuck Thy Neighbor (Accidental Marriage)

Led Only By The Stars (Space!AU)

Sweeter Than Honey (Modern!AU)

Heartstones (Soulmate!AU)

Top three improvements

I’ve improved in expanding my horizons to different tropes/Ideas I didn’t think I would touch before.

I do not check the stats regularly, and I feel a LOT better as a writer and just overall mentally.

My outlining/organization process has SIGNIFICANTLY improved this year, and it’s making my life a ton easier.

Top two resolutions

Finish some big fics!!!

Never compare myself to another author. There is only one of me, and my stories are unique to me and make me happy, that’s what matters.

(Honorary mention: I want to read more fics!!!)

Favorite line

This is an impossible question, but I threw an imaginary dart that landed on my pirate AU, so we gotta go with this one!

“What have we here? A stowaway, or a rat? I’ll give you this, you almost had it…but the secret to escaping somewhere quietly,” that blade tilted a bit, forcing Bilbo’s chin upwards as the man holding it crouched, knees bent to bring them near face to face, “is to be quiet.” (-> As The Tide Turns)

I picked this because....let’s be real, the sexual tension of this scene alone is just....yes. Bilbo’s chin tipped up with a sword, hell yeah.

#a year in review 2022 #raz in review #razzywrites #razzy's rambles #i can't wait to see what 2023 brings! #long post is long

[twojackals]

Time moves with or without you

Where to start.

We started the month with a rocky start when I pulled Anhur as my card of the week, and I already posted about that previously. Honestly after so many easy-going cards over a long period of time, I should have been more wary that something, at some point, was going to go down.

I admit I was not prepared for what followed.

I lucked out on a Nefertem pull for the week following Anhur and I gotta say, I really needed that. Healing and brightness were definitely a couple of things I needed in my life after going through the previous week (which was filled with tough but necessary things, not necessarily anything devastating it was just... time, as it were).

And I had a pretty good week, as anticipated. The card pulls, they are rarely ever wrong (and if I think they are wrong it's only because I may not fully understand).

I thought I was getting back into a rhythm of calm, but I was quickly put in my place the following week when the Sons of Heru came to visit.

A card alluding to Endings and Processes, and Protection along that path, was a tough pull, but it was made tougher by the actual events associated with it.

I don't think I could have planned for my direct manager's departure from my office. It was one of those relationships -- just a really, really good relationship, a strong bond of friendship and comradery and "us against the world (of the company, customers, etc)" -- that hearing about him leaving threw me into a spiral.

Now I already spoke about this in the Anhur post, so you can see that over there; however, the week of the Sons of Heru pull was the week he was leaving (on the Friday) and I didn't think much else of that card as a result. I admit to not going to my manager's going away party on that Friday because I didn't think I could bear it, and I also admit to being a little angry at him. I wouldn't have had fun. I would have started work at 6:30am and not ended up leaving the office until 8pm. No matter how much alcohol was involved, that would be way too much 'work'.

So I stayed home. And that was when the real ending began.

I received a phone call from our leasing agent. Our Landlord owns the condo and rents it to us through a realtor essentially. It turned out, the landlord wanted to come back and retake the condo, because our rent supposedly (it's a lie I'm sure of it) wasn't covering enough of the mortgage and it would make more sense for them to live in it.

Anyone who knows me, knows we have moved something like 10 times in 14 years. This was the first time we had been secure in a long-term place (for 3 years), and we were enjoying that. We had no intentions on moving, and we definitely did not have the money saved up to do it. Nevertheless, even though the leasing agent was being wishy-washy giving us the "maybe he will maybe he won't" non-committal garbage (a tactic to get us to leave so we will vacate and they will rent it out at a higher rate I'm sure, but unfortunately, when you have mental health issues, it works), and despite being broke, we decided to start looking for a place immediately.

We live in a place with 0.5% rental availability and the majority don't take pets. The ones who do, limit to one pet, and there might be parking for 1 car if you're lucky for an additional charge (sometimes included). Us? We have 2 pets and 2 cars. So take that 0.5% rental availability and just divide it a bunch of times, and that was our window. On top of that, due to my disability, I need to overlap rental apartments by 1 month (which means we will rent our current place and our new place for an entire month) in order to reduce what would otherwise be anxiety levels that could put me in the hospital.

It was frustrating to begin this search because honestly we were losing places before we even had a chance to see them. Most ads we responded to ignored us (probably they received such an overwhelming response), despite my doing up a beautiful rental resume with literally every detail in good standing that a landlord could ever want. The ones that did respond scheduled us in for viewings, only to contact me hours before and tell me we lost the place to someone else.

The first place we actually got in to see we a joke. We clearly explained to them on the phone that we needed parking for 2 cars. The woman on the other end of the line said "Oh, well, maybe we do, I will have to check... we can probably do something", and I said ok let's get in to see the place. Again they contacted me mere hours before the showing to tell me not to bother as it had been rented, but in a stroke of good luck we were updated a bit later that the interested party pulled out. Weird, but I'll take it. I then again reminded the person I was calling, that we needed parking for two cars and to please make sure that it was sorted.

She acted like she was speaking to someone from outer space. "Ohh," she drones, "I think we have nothing extra. I can check it. We can find out."

Angry, I admonished her through pointing out the fact that we clearly in no uncertain terms explained this was mandatory. What did she think we would do, sell our second car? We can't afford the rent without two jobs, and our two jobs don't start at the same time and are not in the same place. Public Transit is out for me due to disability. She then again started drawling it out "Well we'll check, we can check" and I said "Check... now." and she hurriedly said she would do so and check me back.

I waited awhile, way too long for someone who is actually a professional management company to check to see if they have a second parking spot available for us. What exactly are they keeping the records on -- napkins? Did she have to go around to each parking spot and see if a car was in it? (what if the people weren't home?) What could possibly take so long for what should have been a quick check of parking records.

Finally I texted her to let her know I'd have to leave in 10 minutes and needed to know for sure. She told me to come anyway as "I may not even like the place". That didn't fill me with enthusiasm but, again, for all the reasons posted above, we didn't have a lot of choice. So I take the drive down to Surrey, middle of the day, taking hours off work, to see this place where there 'should' have been two parking spaces available 'somewhere'.

I don't think I have to give you any guesses to where this is going to go.

Of course there were no fucking parking spaces, this whole damn thing is a bloody charade. To what end? I have no bloody clue. I arrive on site and can't find the rental office -- finally when I find it through texting, I am greeted by two very stern-looking individuals who have zero sense of humor and seem incapable of smiling even a little for the sake of basic human interaction, which my disabled brain interprets in the worst possible sense. On top of that, the one showing me the apartment can't stop staring at my damn headscarf and I start quietly wishing I had left it at home (but why the hell should I!).

The apartment was 'fine'. We could have lived there. But again, like I said, there were no parking spots. Even though I had asked multiple times for them to make sure there were 2. One would be available, one not. I asked, can we park in visitor's parking at least until a spot can be located? "Wellllll...." she droned on, "you're not supposed to."

You're the damn building manager, you get to set what we can and cannot do. You dragged me the hell down here. You figure it out! And basically that's what I told her, but in kinder words: we need help and need them to give us suggestions. Do they know of street parking around? (I couldn't find any that would be reliable myself). Can they make an exception to visitor's parking? Can they do anything that would warrant dragging a person down here in the middle of the damn day to see this shit-hole? (again the place is 'fine' but these places are definitely what some people might describe as 'ghetto').

So she walks me back to the rental office but stopped me well outside the door. The fact that I was not being invited in was a bad sign and I knew it. I resort to begging. I tell her we're amazing tenants. We have fantastic credit. We did not lose our jobs in the pandemic. We have never missed a rent payment in our lives. We are the best you can possibly get for this unit, all you have to do is find us a parking space.

With an expressionless face, she shrugs. "I can check again."

Because 'checking' worked so well the first time.

I asked her, please do not rent this place to someone else before you really do check. She agrees. "Ok, ok," she says.

I then go to my car and literally start calling around to other places. As I thought, they ghosted me and never followed up again.

-------

So that was a pretty big blog post, and I'm going to write the second part, just... in a bit maybe. In a separate post. Join me back here either later today or maybe tomorrow when I talk about the next step of this overall journey.

#personal #blog #moving #apartment #rental #vancouver #british columbia #kemet #kemetic #kemetic orthodox #nefertem #anhur #heru

[deyadee]

I haven’t been able to write any posts on my phone recently because I cracked the screen and I just LOVE when companies need to actively fuck up older equipment to force you to buy new phones and shit. I’ve had this phone since my 16th birthday, so yes it might be old but it worked fine for half a year after cracking the bastard. It started with not being able to type specifically the letter E but then it spread across half the fucking keyboard so I can’t type E, D, S, R, X, or C. I have to use the fucking voice command for goddamn everything on it now and it makes doing anything a four fucking hour process. I feel even more lonely than usual because I can’t even go on the discord chat with my two only online friends. 

Anyway, I don’t know what I’ve posted about and I what I haven’t so I’m just going to bitch about everything in order of what I remember not posting.

I spent nearly two months meticulously planning on going to a pride street fair with the cute girl at the front desk and surprisingly she said yes. So over the course of a few weeks I would show up pretty much every day I could find out she was there and ask if everything was still good to go on the meetup. I was so excited, I finally felt like I was worthy, like I finally had a friend or that I wasn’t a complete waste of human meat for once in my pathetic ass life. So, after everything was planned out down to the last detail I showed up the day before we were supposed to go to make sure we were still good... and that’s when reality had to prove to me that no matter what I did I am not destined to have even a fleeting day of happiness. 

She told me that she might not be able to go because of last minute car trouble and just remembering that tomorrow was her mother’s birthday. She said she try to work it out and text me early in the morning the next day. Now, I can understand the car trouble but who the hell forgets their mom’s birthday until literally the day before? SHE LIVES WITH HER MOM. I’m not good with dates either but it all came off as kind of flakey. She did seem genuinely sorry that she couldn’t go but it still had this underlying feeling of “Oh thank god I don’t actually to spend a fucking whole day with you.” I tried to smile and pretend it was alright but when I got home I just fucking broke down. Of course this had to happen. I try to reach out and make a connection, try to make myself not feel like a complete fucking social outcast from people my own age and this is what happens of fucking course. But I still got up and got ready the next day, still grasping to the pathetic delusion that even in the last second something might fucking go right. I called off work two months ahead of time. I planned all this out. This piece of shit event had to be at least somewhat fair to me right?

She said she couldn’t go. So my parents offered to drop me off so I could go by myself. And boy, is it really fun to look around and see all the happy fucking couples and people having fun with their friends while I’m creeping around trying to pretend I’m on the same social level as all these people. I was overwhelmed at first but got used to it, and anytime I got near anyone who wasn’t trying to sell me some stupid shit I was looked at either like I was a hideous sweating fucking pig parading herself around for all to see at the church picnic or like I was some creepy dude in his forties trying to sniff girl’s hair. I bought some earrings and hung out, but it just was a subtle reminder that I’m not like other girls of my age. I’m not getting a partner, going out to events, and figuring out how I want to make a difference in this shit world- I am an ugly repulsive wall of blubber leeching off of her parents and drowning her self-pity in children’s media and whatever shit I can shove down my fucking throat. 

I felt a bit better afterwards because my dad asked me to go with my family to this restaurant to meet this family that goes to my little sister’s dance studio. He particularly wanted me to go because he said the dad was annoying and said all this shit about how shitty and rude LGBT people are for whatever reason and how he’d “beat the shit out of them if they ever tried that shit on him.” So I of course was like “Yes, I would love to.”

Which, nothing was more funny than when I walked in, wearing a rainbow shirt, rainbow hat, rainbow scrunchie, and asexual/gay pride bracelets and just saw him nervously look me up and down. I noticed he tried to avoid any conversation whatsoever with me, and how any time my dad would say anything about me he’d look away. It was even more fun to give his daughter (who was really sweet btw) a pink bottle of bubbles that I got from the pride street fair. 

That happened a while ago, but why did I particularly want to make a post today? Well it was a bit of a story.

I just remember seeing a cute redhead with glasses and knowing I had to talk to her. We spent all night talking and though she was a bit more of a hipster than my kind of style, it was like we were meant for each other. I couldn’t look away when she was in the room and the hours we spent together felt like seconds. At the very end of it all we sat at the foot of my bed, holding hands, and we leaned in towards each other and... I woke up. 

It was all a dream. All a fucking dream. She felt like the greatest thing to happen to me. It felt so real. When I woke up I genuinely thought we were going to spend another day together. Until I realized that I need to turn off my alarm and go to work. She never existed. I was never even slightly appealing to even the lowest common denominator, let alone someone like her who felt like she was ripped right from a movie... which I mean basically she was. I kept trying to think about her, but more and more details were slipping away. I couldn’t remember her name. I didn’t know how we met. Yet, I couldn’t feel sad because I could still feel her warmth on me, her cold hands. The feeling she left within me. Even when I knew she wasn’t real I couldn’t stop smiling. Even now I can’t even process that she doesn’t exist. I’d rather believe her to be dead than to think we never crossed paths. She made me feel like I was the most special person in the world. That every tiny detail of this fucking shithole world isn’t built just to make us suffer. She made not even question that life was worth living, that every horrible thing that happened was worth it as long as we had this moment to be together.  I can’t even think of other people now, all I can think of is her. I miss her, yet she’ll never come home.

I heard this story on one of the thousand Youtube videos I watch everyday where this guy got knocked out and lived an entire life with having a wife and two kids until he noticed that this lamp didn’t look right and he eventually realized everything in his past seven years of life was fake. He went through a deep depression knowing that his family never existed. I wouldn’t say mine is anywhere near as extreme but, I can’t help feel like I actually spent that day with her. I still feel that comfort she left me with like everything in the world was alright. I’ve never felt like this with anyone else, and now I’m scared I’ll never feel it again. But this is still not why I made this post.

I tried to ignore it for the rest of the day and about ten minutes before I got off of work I had nearly forgotten, when this group of three girls came up to checkout. They had streamers, plates, table covers, regular stuff for a party so I asked what kind of party it was for. They said “Oh, we’re just grabbing a few things to surprise our friend for her 21st birthday we’re gonna take her out!” and something in me just cracked because all I could say was “Oh that’s great.” and try to check them out as fast as possible. These girls in front of me were 21. These cute girls having the time of their lives on the beach with their friends is what the average girl would be doing at this point in their lives. So what am I doing? Obsessing over a girl I had to dream up to cope with a lack of affection and attention. Working at a fucking dollar store. Still no college classes. Living with my parents. Still not a fucking clue what to do with my life besides wallow and cry over the fucking waifu I never had. Guess my fucking neckbeard status is complete. I’m fucking sitting in my bedroom, typing for nearly an hour and a half now, full on fucking weeping because I’m fucking pathetic and so goddamn irredeemable in every fucking way that I’m dreaming of girls. It’s so fucking fun to be idealistic and want to hope that things will get better and that all people deserve love and all that hippie shit but I just have to face it. “Certain girls are meant to be alone” 

Why can’t I build an endless dream where I can be confident? Where I can have her, and she can have me? Where I can finally be happy and not just questioned why I too lazy and too much of a pussy to just fucking do it already? I’m an atheist, but I’d rather take my chances in possibly finding an afterlife with her than staying here for another forty years until I die of a heart attack from eating myself to death and reluctantly marrying some shitbag abusive stain of goddamn man because I think I have no other fucking option. I’d rather die now just to have the chance to see her again than suffer a slow miserable death that the average hideous woman calls a life. Give me strength to take me there. Give me just one last moment with her again. I can’t do this anymore.

[atlanticcanada]

Sifting through the ashes: humanitarian group prepares to help fire victims

On the well-worn Peggy’s Cove Road, there’s something new at the aging legion: a field headquarters for a unique organization, now lending a hand after the Tantallon wildfire.

Team Rubicon Canada, a veteran-led humanitarian organization, arrived in Halifax this week to respond to the aftermath of the fires in Tantallon, and help lead the community through recovery efforts.

“We don’t self deploy,” said Steve MacBeth, Team Rubicon Canada’s chief operating officer.

“We work hand in hand with the community, and then with the homeowners, and that’s a really important partnership that we respect because what you don’t want to do is add a problem by showing up at the wrong time, doing the wrong thing,” said MacBeth.

Founded by some U.S. marines, Rubicon started as a response to the Haitian earthquake.

“The Canadian wing actually started because of the wildfire in Fort MacMurray in 2016,” said MacBeth.

“Similar to what we see here, it was Canadians who had then served down with the American organization. They came up and Team Rubicon was born from that fire.”

Some of the fire victims have now started the dangerous and heartbreaking task of combing through what's left of homes.

Andrew Vey managed to salvage some military medals, jewelry and coins on Monday.

"I thought maybe if I could take one small thing away at least for each person - if I could find something," Vey told CTV News.

Once they’re set-up, their focus will be on helping the victims by literally sifting through the ashes.

“We take that on for them so they can maybe enjoy some small piece that remains after the tragedy,” said MacBeth.

The team includes specialists like Brandy Alexander, a map maker in the military who jumped at the chance to utilize her skills in a place where they’re needed.

“I felt there might be a need here on the ground to support with the geospacial component,” Alexander told CTV News Wednesday.

While both the Nova Scotia fires are officially considered “under control,” the investigation into what caused them is ongoing.

“All wildfires are investigated, although it’s not always possible to pinpoint the exact cause,” Department of Natural Resources and Renewables spokesperson Patricia Jreige told CTV News via email.

“Investigations into the wildfires of the last two weeks are still ongoing. These wildfires were most likely caused by people in one way or another, though, because there have been no reports of lightning strikes.”

Back at the legion, where donations for fire victims are piling-up inside, would-be volunteers like Rick Hattin are showing up, hoping to help in any way they can.

Hattlin lives in the area and was prepared to evacuate when the fires broke out.

“We thought we were safe. Then we realized were weren’t safe, and, you just drive down Hammonds Plains Road, and you realize, ‘Good God’," he said.

Rubicon hopes to be helping victims as early as Saturday.

For Saskatchewan-born MacBeth, it’s a hands-on opportunity to assist those who may be feeling overwhelmed.

“Obviously, these events are incredibly traumatic and tragic in someone’s life,” he said.

“What we hope to do, prior to the rebuild occurring, is give the homeowner an opportunity to move back into the structure, where we take on the risk and the hard, sweaty work and maybe finding something that’s survived that connects them with their past.”

“Because, right now, they’re looking at what was, they have to deal with what is, and they have to start thinking about what will be,” he said.

For more Nova Scotia news visit our dedicated provincial page. 

from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/qOny6iS

#new brunswick #prince edward island #nova scotia #news #politics #canada #CTVAtlantic

[miss-goblin-tries-writing]

So I was reading a lot of BNHA fanfiction lately and had a burst of 1AM creativity, so here's a section of something I started working on :)

Words: 658

Izuku had never seen a sunset so beautiful. 

From his spot on the rooftop, he could see the sky so clearly; the pinks, the reds, and the intense orange bleeding across the sky brought him a sense of calm. Soon, those colours would fade - the sun was setting, and the night was creeping in. He vaguely thought that his mother would be worried, he'd been sitting on his ledge for a while now, but it didn't matter. The time he'd spent here on this ledge had been the most peaceful he'd had in years. He needed this peace after the day he'd had. 

Izuku had always admired All Might. The hero of all heroes, the Number One. He saved civilians with a kilowatt smile and a booming laugh. His idol was larger than life; quite literally - he was a looming tower of muscles. Meeting him after being attacked by a villain on the way home wasn't ideal, but it was the highlight of Izuku's life. Sadly it had quickly turned into the lowest (be realistic-).  

Izuku didn't know where his ledge was. He knew he could see the sky above him and the city below - but nothing around his rooftop was recognisable. He'd been so overwhelmed earlier that he'd started walking and hadn't stopped until he'd found himself up on this ledge, and orange was blanketing the sky. (He thought he remembered Kacchan yelling at him as he was pulled away by Pro-heroes- as Izuku was lectured). 

Izuku basked in his peace. It felt so good to be free of his anxiety, a weight lighted from his shoulders. He didn't feel the crushing defeat of his day-to-day life; the despair he pushed down each day, the sludge that built with each setback, each comment, with each second he spent stuck in that classroom to be ridiculed. He held in so much resentment that it threatened to drown him - he gripped his pencils until they snapped as they laughed, laughed, laughed. (Swan-dive, swan-dive-).

The Pro-heroes admonished him for "foolishly" rushing in (for doing their job while they stood around and watched, saving Kacchan from drowning when he drowns every day). The box he forced his torment to fill -finally- couldn't hold anything more. 

There were three key events in the cracking of his box, Izuku mused, and they all had to happen in a two-hour window. His childhood friend had told him to commit suicide to become something less pitiful (swan-dive, swan-dive, swan-dive). His childhood hero, his idol, told him he couldn't be like him (impossible without a quirk, be more realistic-) while he was losing his power, he broke his dreams and left him on a roof. The hypocritical heroes who shamed a quirkless child when they stood and watched his childhood friend almost die waiting for the right quirk. They had the power he didn't and did nothing. 

Izuku knew there'd be no coming back from this. He'd held in his resentment for so long - he knew he'd never be able to contain it again. 

He sat, on his ledge, staring at the sky. 

Orange had overwhelmed the other colours, and Izuku smiled; it reminded him of Kacchan. Overwhelming, commanding, and unforgiving - Kacchan always did look good in orange. The boy had had his hero costume designed since he was six, the iconic orange crosses of "Lord Explosion Murder". His childhood friend would make a wonderful hero, and it still pained him that they would be the Wonder Duo they'd planned as children, that he'd clung to all these years. Kacchan didn't need Izuku (didn't need a Deku) with such a beautiful quirk at his fingertips - he didn't need Izuku weighing him down (like he'd done to All Might). What was a human like him compared to the sun? To the brilliance of the orange sky in front of him? What was Deku to the hero that Kacchan would become? 

#bnha #boku no hero academia #fanfiction #miss goblin wrote stuff #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki (mentioned) #All Might (mentioned) #sludge villain attack #Izuku is not doing okay

[aithorin]

An Exception to the Rule - All Smite x Reader (18+)

Summary: Now All Smite was by no means a hero. In fact, he was quite literally the opposite, but for you he might be willing to make an exception. 

Warnings: Mentions/threats of rape (nothing actually happens), Villain Au, Villain!All Might, Blood and violence, Threats of violence, Slight gore, hostage, Protective!All Might (i.e. he basically goes on a rampage cause someone tries to hurt you), Soft ending with hurt/comfort

Rated M for violence

Flying through the city, a smirk made its way onto All Might’s face as he heard a scream echo throughout the night. God, he reveled in the chaos. The chaos that he created. His very presence had allowed the chaos in Japan to fester and grow throughout, and thus every time he heard crimes being committed, his chest swelled with pride. It made his ego surge to watch the fruit of his efforts be harvested and taken advantage of. There was just something so immensely satisfying about it, knowing that every villain in Japan owed the success of their crimes to him. It provided a rush of gratifying adrenaline like no other.

Deciding he had a few minutes to spare, All Might quickly set course towards the sound of the disruption. At the very least, it would provide some entertainment. But, depending on what they were doing to the unfortunate soul, he might even decide to join in. It would be a nice way to unwind before going home to you. God knows how much fun he had seeing the way people cowered at the very sight of him.

Landing silently behind the group, he quietly observed the scene unfold, trying to decide if he wanted to step in.

“Eh this one’s a looker, isn’t she boys? Before the night’s over, I think I’ll use her for the whore that she is.” The one All Might assumed to be the leader taunted, stepping forward to tower over their victim.

Manic laughter floated throughout the air as the two lackeys accompanying him moved in to completely surround their target. “That sounds like a great idea boss! You always have the best ideas. Can we get a turn too? Please. Please. Please!” The one on the right begged.

“Maybe once she’s unconscious. You know it’s only fun for me when they’re awake so I can see the look of fear in their eyes. God, just the thought of it is giving me a hard on already.” The leader chuckled out.

”Pl-please,” A woman’s shaky, frightened voice whimpered out, “let me go. I-I have money. Just tell me what you want!”

At the sound of the woman’s voice, the blood in All Might’s veins turned ice cold. That-that was your voice. And just like that, the overwhelming pride he had been feeling moments ago withered away, consumed by something much more deadly-a feral rage. How dare they talk to you like that? How dare they even try to lay their hands on you? Fists clenched and shaking in anger, All Might stalked towards them, blue eyes blazing and filled with an unquenchable, seething bloodlust.

Unaware of their impending doom, a harsh slap echoed through the night as the leader thug slammed your head into the dumpster you were backed against. He looked down at you, sneering, “Shut up, bitch! You’ll be lucky if you make it out of here alive tonight. You should be grateful that I’m even considering it.”

“I’d leave the girl alone if you know what’s good for you.” A gravelly voice spoke from behind.

Turning around halfway, the leader scoffed, not even bothering to see who the person was. “Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it? This one’s ours, so why don’t you scram before I decide to kill you t-”

He was cut off as a hand shot out, quick as lightning, to wrap around his throat. Before he could even register what was happening, the thug’s eyes bulged as the hand began choking him. He felt himself being lifted 3 feet into the air, and soon came face to face with a set of flaming blue eyes. At the sight of them, his body went stiff in fear. The rest of the newcomer’s face was hidden by the shadows of the night, but just the sight of his eyes were enough to make the thug cower.

“Who….the….hell….are….you?” The leader gasped out, vision going spotty from his quickly draining air supply.

Letting out a sinister chuckle, the newcomer stepped into the light emitting from a nearby streetlamp. Seeing who it was, the leader’s mouth went dry as a sweat broke out on his forehead. His already tight throat closed up even more causing his breath to come out in wheezes as a chill of fear worked its way down his spine, causing his body to tremble in mid-air.

“Al-All...Might” He rasped out, hands pointlessly tugging on the one large hand curled around his throat.

A wicked smile crept onto All Might’s face. “Good,” He purred out, “You know who I am, so there’s no need for introductions. Maybe you aren’t a complete imbecile.”

Tilting his head to study his prey, All Might reconsidered, “Although it is hard to believe you actually possess a brain, considering you tried to steal something of mine.”

Nodding his head toward your shaking, huddled form a few feet away, All Might’s face hardened. “That girl over there belongs to me, and you just tried to touch her. Now if you remember anything about me, you should know that I don’t share. Do you want to know what happens to people who try to take things that belong to me?”

Eyes darting back and forth, the thug frantically shook his head as much as he could while being held in All Might’s grip. “Pl-please… I-I… didn’t know!”

Ignoring the man’s pleas completely, all the previous traces of being dangerously coy with the thug were wiped away as All Might murderously intoned, “They die.”

With that, All Might began to squeeze the hand wrapped around the man’s throat even tighter. Garbled chokes escaped the man’s lips as with each passing second All Might added more and more force. Reveling in the sound, a sadistic, twisted grin made its way onto All Might’s face. If he was feeling generous, he could have just snapped the man’s neck and been done with it, but that would have been too easy. The bastard had to pay for what he did, and so All Might made sure to drag it, delighting in the way the man’s neck slowly began to crack in his grasp as the life drained from his eyes. Sickening sounds floated into the air, mixtures of bone breaking and strangled gasps as the man gagged on his own saliva. His hands flailed, desperately clawing at the limb wrapped around his neck in a futile attempt to break free. Much too soon for All Might’s liking though, the thug’s efforts slowed before stopping altogether, his hands falling lifelessly back down to his side.

Letting out a sneer, All Might finally released him from his grasp letting his body carelessly crumple to the ground with a revolting thud. “How pathetic, he didn’t even last 2 minutes.”

Taking one last glance at the body, he kicked it to the side before turning his attention toward the two lackeys trembling in the corner. Blinded by bloodlust, he stalked toward them, licking his lips in anticipation and clenching his hands together, imagining their necks were in between them.

All Might was almost upon them when a flash of movement captured the corner of his eye. Momentarily ignoring his prey,  he shifted his body slightly and caught sight of you, shivering in a seated position with your arms wrapped tightly around your legs while slowly rocking back and forth. Gooseflesh had broken out along your skin from the chilly night air, only agitated by the cold sweat that had broken out upon your brow from the night’s events. Stray hairs stuck to your skin as wide, fearful (e/c) eyes looked up to lock with his own, and instantly All Might felt his bloodlust melt away, replaced by an overwhelming need to go to you.

Spinning back around, he addressed the two lackeys quivering in the corner. He pointed a disgusted, raging scowl at the thugs before thundering his ultimatum. “You have exactly 5 seconds to get out of my sight. Otherwise, you’re gonna end up like your boss over there.” He stated, throwing a finger back over his shoulder in the direction of the corpse.

Leaning down, he pulled both of them up by the collar of their necks. “And if I ever catch you even looking at this girl, trust me when I say you won’t live to tell anyone about it. But, feel free to tell your buddies about what happened here tonight. It’ll be a good reminder to everyone out there about what happens when you try to take something that belongs to me. Remember boys, I. Don’t. Share. So spread the word that this girl’s mine.”

Then, without another word, All Might threw them towards the opening of the alley. Not needing to be told twice, they scrambled back, hightailing it out of there. Watching them go, a small smirk passed over his face at their show of naivety. He’d let them go, for now. He had more important matters to take care of. But come tomorrow, they’d be dead. All Might was nothing if not a man of his word, and so they, too, would have to pay with their lives for trying to steal from him. He could see it now. The look of shock their faces would portray at his appearance tomorrow. The way it would morph into a look of fear as he approached them. And finally, the acceptance that would fill their eyes as he squeezed the life out of them, realizing, at last, that he had never intended to let them truly escape. Yes, tomorrow would be a very good day indeed.

Turning around, he started to approach you, making slow, small steps when your face darted up in fear, like a deer caught in headlights. Seeing that it was just him, All Might watched your tense body start to relax as you buried your head back into your legs. Reaching you, he squatted down to be eye level with you, hesitantly reaching an arm out to place it on your shoulder. Now that you were no longer in danger, All Might felt unsure of what to do. He didn’t know how to comfort someone in distress as he was much more used to being the one causing the distress. Finally, he decided to settle for asking basic yet somewhat obvious questions.

“Are you alright?” He gruffed out.

Hearing no reply, a worry that he tried to push away started to creep into his mind the longer you stayed silent. Were you hurt? Had he gotten there too late? Had they touched you? He started to become lost in thoughts until a sudden force jolted him out of it. Looking down, he saw that you had attached yourself to his body, clutching at him like your life depended on it. He debated with himself for a few moments before choosing to reciprocate the gesture, wrapping his large arms around you and encasing you within his body heat. At his touch, your body started to shake with silent sobs, tears from your eyes beginning to wet his shirt. You stayed that way for a long time, bodies holding onto each other as you tried to process the events from the night. All Might didn’t say anything, choosing to offer you support quietly for as long as you needed it. Eventually though, your cries subsided and your frame slumped against him, exhausted from everything that had happened.

Eyes heavy, you were vaguely aware of your body shifting as All Might stood up. Lifting you with ease, he placed you into both of his arms, saying “Come on. Let’s go home.”

Slowly being lulled to sleep by the rhythm of his footsteps, a feeling of warmth and safeness washed over you. Right before you drifted to sleep, an inkling of a smile crossed over your face as you thought of the irony that you felt completely protected in the arms of the number one villain. With him, you knew that he would always be there to keep you safe. Although he was a villain, if tonight had proven anything, it seemed that you were an exception to the rule.

#all might x reader #villain all might x reader #all smite x reader #all smite #mha #my hero academia #yagi toshinori #all might x you #villain au #villain!all might #my hero fanfic #my hero x you #all might imagine

[spencerspecifics]

HI HI HI PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE MOREID AT PRIDE AND SOME PINING AND SPENCER THINKS DEREK IS STRAIGHT BUT HE ISN'T AND THEY KIIIITTTTTHHHHH

I absolutely love your energy fuck yes!! I’m so sorry this took forever, ive got school, work and some other personal things happening so I appreciate your patience!

No TW, B u t, a creep hits on Spencer at pride, so if that is upsetting please note that! Thanks :)

———————————————————————

Pride

———————————————————————

Garcia had been pestering Spencer about going to pride for the past week now, and it was slowly driving him insane.

He used almost every excuse he could think of. When he first turned her down, he had simply said, “Sorry, I’m going to be busy that week.” And of course, Garcia being Garcia, she stole his calendar to see what he was busy with (spoiler alert: he had nothing. Except a reminder to go grocery shopping, and email some professors and research scientists back).

So, she persisted, and he came up with a dozen more excuses; “I was considering flying out to see my mom”, “The local museum has a new interactive archeology exhibit for adults, and I want to learn more about ancient structures”, “I have to do a presentation on thermodynamics”.

None of those excuses work, as she sniffed out every lie, “Spencer, you hate flying to Vegas last minute, that archaeology exhibit has been open for months, and your calendar is empty!”

So with her persistence, and legitimate bullying, Spencer found himself finally agreeing. “Fine, but come over to my apartment before we leave so you can help me.” After all, he wasn’t really familiar with pride parades, and what the scene was like there. He was going to be a fish out of water, he already knew that for certain.

~

True to her word, Garcia showed up an hour before the pride parade was set to start, carrying a coffee in each hand- how she possibly knocked on his apartment door, Spencer didn’t know.

“I brought you a pick me up, that way you have no excuse to be in a bad mood!” She spoke in her signature sing song voice as Spencer let her inside, she barreled in like a hurricane. God, Spencer wasn’t ready for this.

“Thanks..” Spencer decided to reply with that lame response, and not with what he was actually thinking. He took the coffee from her wordlessly as she stepped in further, going to sit down on his couch.

“You excited?” Garcia asked as she set her cup down on his cluttered coffee table. Reid just shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t do great with crowds.”

“But you do great with disarming murderers?” “You know that’s different-” Spencer said, doing his best to argue, “Reid it is literally not. Both are anxiety inducing, but one is life or death, and it’s not pride. So you can do this.”

Spencer sighed, resigning himself to not arguing with Garcia. Because she was right, though at times her arguments sounded wild. He just had to get over this anxiety and show up at pride, he could do this, right?

~

Wrong. So, very, wrong. They had left his apartment with thirty minutes to spare, deciding to walk over to where pride was being held- as it was only a few blocks away in a public park.

And as soon as they got there, Spencer wanted out. There were so many people, more than he estimated (and his estimations were usually spot on.), and there was just chaos everywhere. Music, dancing, shouting, singing, drag queens running around happily. Spencer wasn’t sure what to do. He was out of his element.

Garcia seemed to sense that, though, as she dragged Spencer over to some stalls that sold pride flags, pins, and other miscellaneous pride related things.

“C’mon Reid, why don’t you look around and find something you like?” She offered up, something for him to do- something for him to stay busy with. He could do that. Spencer nodded simply, Garcia stayed by his side- looking at pride related wear for herself.

~

Spencer ended up deciding on a small pin that simply said; “love all”, planning to stick it on his messenger bag strap. Garcia bought a pin as well, but hers just had her pronouns on them; “she/her/hers”.

Looking at all the pride apparel was a good distraction for Spencer, he felt a lot more calmer now- though that didn’t stop him from feeling like he stuck out like a sore thumb. He’s just not familiar with this world, and it’s awkward to suddenly be in the middle of it.

Spencer was in the middle of looking at another booth that sold flags, possibly considering buying himself a small one to stick in his pencil cup at work, because Garcia left him to go compliment a drag queen- when a voice broke through.

“Hey, pretty boy!”

That was a voice all too familiar, what on earth was Morgan doing here? Spencer looked up at him as he made his way towards him. “Hey,” Spencer spoke awkwardly. Not sure what to say.

Spencer was gay. He was fine with admitting he was gay, but he hadn’t really told the team. He thought they figured it out on their own. And they probably had, but still, having his coworker see him at a pride event- it was anxiety inducing.

“What’re- what’re you doing here?” Spencer asked, stumbling over his words as he dropped the small flag he was holding back onto the vendors table.

“Oh, well I’m on the local PFLAG committee. I’m just here to hand out flyers and stuff. But I’m glad to see you’re here, I’m guessing Garcia’s here too?” He asked Spencer casually, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on Spencer.

He was on the PFLAG committee? Why? To help queer people, obviously, but that had to mean he was gay or something- Spencer couldn’t stop his mind from coming up with every possible answer to why Derek was on the committee.

Spencer just nodded in response, he moved himself back from the vendors table to get out of the way, so other customers could look at the flags being sold.

“Yeah, she’s- there.” Reid pointed her out, as if on cue she came out of the thick crowd that had started to gather back up, the parade portion of pride had concluded by now, and people were coming over to the vendors section.

“Hey, Babygirl!” Derek called over to her, and Garcia somehow lit up with a smile brighter than the one she was wearing before, “Well, hey!” She responded enthusiastically, walking up swiftly to give Derek a quick embrace, which he happily returned.

“I wasn’t sure how long you were staying for, but I’m glad I caught you!” Garcia started rambling to Derek, about how the drag queen she met was so nice; “Her name was Mysteria Hysteria. Isn’t that genius?”.

~

Spencer just stepped back from them both, not sure what to do, not sure if he fully belonged. Pride was a nice event, it was. But the longer he stood around, the more he felt like he should be leaving. Everyone was laughing and smiling, everyone was just happy. And Spencer couldn’t stop racking his brain. In the beginning, he couldn’t stop thinking because of his anxiety, but now he was searching his brain for a reason why Derek was here and what it meant.

Of course, a stupid large portion of Spencer’s mind went to “maybe Morgan likes men”, and then an even larger and stupider portion of his mind had the absurdity to think; “maybe he’s interested in me”. Which Spencer did not even want to remotely entertain, because if he fell down that rabbit hole, he’d never climb back out.

Because yes, he did like Derek. He liked him a lot, the start for his liking towards the man was innocuous enough- which is why it was a problem for Spencer. He didn’t realized he liked Morgan until it was too late. And now he had been battling these feelings for years. Spencer wasn’t ever going to act on them, he just had to live with them- which he had been doing, which he has been content with. But this new information, about Morgan being here, being part of PFLAG- it was going to make Reid’s mind implode in on itself.

~

Reid decided the best thing was to say; “I’m gonna get some water, I’ll be back.” To which Derek and Garcia both nodded to, and Spencer was off, away from the vendors stand and the only two people he knew at pride.

And while that was a good thing, it was simultaneously not so good. Because now he was alone, overwhelmed, and thinking too much. And now he had a task to do, find himself some water.

~

That task seemed to be more difficult than anticipated, as the prides layout was a confusing maze, spencer had to pass in front of a group of drag queens in order to get to the food trucks that were on site- but he eventually got there.

He walked up to the first food truck he saw, it didn’t matter what they sold, he wasn’t getting it.

“What can I get for you?” The cashier asked him, “Just a water, please.” He ordered, the cashier nodded and pulled a bottle out from a cooler that was nearby within the truck, handing it over to spencer as they told him his total, a dollar twenty five. Spencer paid quickly, stepping back and away from the food truck, as he wasn’t sure where else to go now. He didn’t want to go back towards Derek or Garcia, he honestly wanted to go home.

He just needed a minute, some space and time to breathe and relax. He was stressing himself out. And about what? Nothing of goddamn importance, just a stupid crush he had been living with for a while now.

~

Spencer had been leaning against the back the food truck for not long, only a couple of minutes as he was absorbed in thought as he fiddled with the cap on the water bottle.

He was doing his best to follow the grounding techniques he had learned, something to help him calm down, when suddenly- a stranger emerged out of the crowd.

“Hey there, handsome.” The man said confidently as he strode up to introduce himself Spencer. Spencer looked up to meet his eyes, the man in question was a fine looking guy, chiseled jawline, long shoulder length hair, a bit of facial stubble. He was handsome. “Hello,” Spencer answered hollowly in response. In an ordinary situation, he would try and seem more lively- but he wasn’t in a normal situation, not at all.

The anxiety of attending pride was stress enough on its own, but now knowing the guy he had been drooling over for years was here- and worked as a PFLAG volunteer? It was enough to make him lose his mind.

The man didn’t seem to notice Spencer’s empty response, however, as he answered suavely in response; “I couldn’t help but notice you from across the way. I’m Fabian,” Thankfully, the man- Fabian, didn’t stick his hand out for a handshake, instead casually pushing his hair back a bit.

“I’m Spencer,” Reid replied simply, knowing it was best to ride this odd social interaction out, rather than try and fight it. “That’s a lovely name,” Fabian complimented, “Is this your first time at pride, Spencer?” He asked him casually, taking a step forward, closer to Spencer. He was all too confident for Spencer, he too comfortable with invading Spencer’s space. If Spencer could’ve, he would’ve stepped back.

“Uh, yeah. My friend dragged me along.” Reid explained, twisting the bottle cap back onto his half empty water bottle. Fabian nodded, “Your boyfriend didn’t take you?” Fabian asked him. That was a leading question, Spencer had alarm bells ringing in his head the second he heard it. “No. He- um- he met up with us here.” Spencer replied unconvincingly, Fabian obviously did not believe a word he said.

“Well,” Fabian took another step forward, practically blocking Reid in against the back of the food truck, leaning in farther to whisper in Spencer’s ear; “I don’t see him around. So, why don’t you and I get out of here? Hm?”

Spencer wasn’t sure of what to do. He wanted to kick this guy in the crotch and just book it, but he wasn’t sure if his FBI status would protect him in this scenario. He wasn’t sure what could protect him in this scenario.

“Pretty boy! There you are!” A saving grace broke through, and suddenly Fabian was stepping back, and Morgan was walking up.

Thank god, thank fucking god, that’s all Spencer could manage to think as Derek came to stand beside him. “Hey, babe.” Spencer said, cringing at his voice, at what he just said. But that feeling only lasted for a moment as Fabian was still standing right there, staring them both down now.

Spencer could only throw his wish in the sky and hope Derek caught it coming down, ‘please catch along to why I’m calling you babe’ Reid was trying to say.

And Derek caught it, “Hey, baby, was worried about you. Who’s your friend?” He said in his smooth voice, a voice Spencer couldn’t forget. He especially couldn’t forget now, being called ‘baby’ was something Spencer especially could not forget.

“I’m Fabian, you’re Spencer’s boyfriend?” Fabian asked, as if them both calling each other ‘babe’ counted for nothing. “Yeah, I’m Derek.” Morgan responded simply, sliding his hand around Spencer’s waist as if to prove a point. Fabian just nodded, looking between Spencer and Derek one last time before talking; “Well, it was nice to meet you, I’ve gotta get going. See you.”

And then, he was off, fast walking away from Derek and Reid, escaping the terrible situation he had created. Fabian quickly disappeared into the thick crowd, and by then Spencer had his hand squeezing his water bottle all too tightly- as evident by the terrible crunch sound it made. He was too anxious to let go.

“Hey, are you okay?” Derek asked him softly, pulling his hand away from Spencer’s waist. “Can we find somewhere else- can we go sit down?” Spencer asked him quickly. Reid didn’t want to talk about it right this second, right where it had happened. He wanted to leave, he wanted to leave pride and never come back.

~

Derek didn’t ask a single follow up question as he led Reid away from the food trucks, taking him back towards the vendors stands, and then a bit further back, into the normal-not-so-pride-parade-filled park area. Somewhere less stressful, less scary.

“What did that guy want?” Derek asked Spencer casually as they made their way towards a bench that was sat under a large oak tree. Spencer didn’t speak right away, instead he waited until they were seated to start talking.

“He was trying to flirt, but then he wanted me to leave with him.” Spencer explained as he took a deep breath in, just being away from all the loud sounds and sights was helping him calm down. Derek rubbed Spencer’s back in slow, circular motions as Spencer kept talking.

“He was a classic example of a narcissistic personality, it just made me so uncomfortable- he invaded my space.”

“He was a creep, Reid. Simple as that,” Derek kept rubbing Spencer’s back slowly, Spencer nodded. “I know. Sorry, it shook me up.” Spencer attempted to apologized, and Derek was immediately having none of that.

“Reid, no. Don’t apologize for that, don’t you dare. He was a creep, I’m sorry you got caught up with him. It’s okay if you’re shaken up. We can stay here until you feel up to going back, or we can leave. But I’m not leaving you.”

~

And so they sat for a good amount of time on that park bench, at one point Derek stopped rubbing Spencer’s back, instead just keeping his arm stretched out against the back of the bench and against Spencer’s back. Spencer loved it, but he knew if he thought about it for too long he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking. That was his biggest problem, he couldn’t stop thinking.

He had to know, he decided, he couldn’t just wonder why Derek was on the committee for PFLAG. He wanted to know, he had to.

“Derek?” He spoke up softly, sounds of laughing and shouting and music were still heard in the distance, but they were safe from the sounds under the tree. “Mhm?” Derek hummed in response, looking up at the aforementioned tree that was providing shade for them.

His eyes were tracing the way the branches curved and bent around each other, it was something he did to pass the time. Spencer thought he was extraordinary for it, Derek loved to see where things went; he was curious- after all these years, and all the bad they had seen together, Derek still loved to search and find the beauty.

“Why are you on the PFLAG committee ?” Spencer asked him, it was thankfully an innocuous enough ask to not draw too much of Derek profilings side out to pry apart his question. Derek shrugged, and was quiet for a second before responding, “I know what it’s like to be a scared kid, unsure of his identity. If I can help someone through that, that’s all that matters. Same reason I’m in the BAU, to help people.”

Spencer stayed quiet, Derek’s reason was so sincere and so sweet and kind- and only driving him to think further. Was Derek still unsure of his identity? Was he an ally? Why did he have to make Spencer swoon so hard without even trying?

“So, you’re just an ally?” Spencer approached Derek carefully with that question, not wanting to impose or be rude- but just feign simple curiosity, praying Derek wasn’t using his profiling skills right now to decode Spencer’s fake motive.

Derek didn’t notice, thankfully, as he chuckled lowly in response; “No, pretty boy, I’m bisexual. I don’t really tell the team, but it’s not confidential information. Plus, Garcia found Grindr on my phone. Can’t hide anything from that girl.”

Spencer nodded, mumbling something in response about how Garcia had hacked his email to make sure he was free for pride. And then, the two fell into silence again. But it didn’t last for long, because Derek wanted to know just as much, why was Spencer here?

“What about you, Reid?” Derek asked him cautiously, the way you approach a puppy you find on the side of the road. Calm and slow, trying to get him to trust him bit by bit. “What about me?” Spencer asked, not wanting to answer anything about himself unless Derek was specific.

“Are you an ally?” Morgan asked him, leaving the question open ended. Spencer could say as little or as much as he wanted. This is how you get him to open up, Derek knew that for a fact. “Um.. yeah, I mean- who isn’t? I just- I have to be. I’m.. gay.” Spencer admitted all too awkwardly, not at all in a normal fashion. But nothing about Spencer was in normal fashion.

Derek nodded slowly, not responding as he stared back up, tracing his eyes over the tree branches yet again.

~

A few hours had passed, Spencer and Derek eventually left their peaceful bench under the large oak tree, and instead moved back towards the parking lot.

“Garcia’s got a ride home already- I think she got that drag queen to get her home.” Derek explained as they approached his truck, Spencer nodded as he followed Derek. “Anyways,” Derek continued speaking, “I can give you a ride home. Let’s get going.”

“You don’t have to-“ Spencer started, Derek immediately shut him down. “I want to, c’mon. It’s late, you’re tired. I know you are. Let me take you home.” Spencer just nodded in agreement, he couldn’t argue with Derek, even if he did try. Morgan was a stubborn man.

So, Spencer followed Derek into his truck, and they sat in comfortable silence as they started on their journey back to Spencer’s safe space, his apartment.

~

By the time Derek pulled his truck into the apartments parking lot, Spencer knew something was just the slightest bit wrong. Derek had barely spoken for the entire ride, and usually he loves to say something, to make Spencer smile or laugh, or even just nod and mumble in agreement. But he had done none of that on the way to Spencers.

“Are you alright?” Spencer asked, turning to face Derek as he put the vehicle in park. Derek didn’t meet his eyes, staring at the steering wheel instead as he spoke; “Yeah. Sorry. I’m just thinking.”

“About what?” Spencer pried, absentmindedly unbuckling his seatbelt as he spoke, “About today.” Derek said, not explaining further. “Was today bad?”

Derek shook his head, “No. It started weird, it’s ending pretty good, though. But I’m gonna regret today forever if I don’t do something right now.”

Now, Spencer was confused. Not sure at all what Derek could be talking about, “What do you mean?” He asked, voice quieter than before.

Derek said nothing as he unbuckled his own seatbelt, turning to face Spencer as well, and then he leaned in- closer than they had ever been before. Their noses were almost touching, and Spencer didn’t move. Instead, he watched Derek’s eyes expectantly.

Then, Derek broke through, they were no longer intersecting each other’s personal space- now they were fully destroying each other’s atmospheres. Derek’s lips were on Spencer’s, a chaste, soft, quick kiss- something Spencer would have wanted to go for a lot longer. But then, he pulled away just as fast.

“...That’s what I meant..” He mumbled after a second, looking back towards the steering wheel, looking away from Spencer- and more importantly, not seeing the smile on Spencer’s face.

Spencer couldn’t help it. He knew it was terrible to be smiling right now- he should jump and say something to fix what was happening. But he had to smile, he couldn’t believe that had actually just happened, his brain was still computing and re-circuiting, trying to savor the memory and not forget how Derek’s lips felt against his.

Spencer dragged himself out of his own head quickly, though. He did all he could think of to do in the moment, get Derek back. “Morgan.” Spencer said, tugging on Derek’s sleeve as he did so, forcing him to look back at Spencer and meet his eyes again.

But Spencer didn’t say anything, and he didn’t give Derek the chance to speak, either. Instead, he leant forward, pressing his lips against Derek’s. This is all he had wanted to know for the longest time, and now he had it.

~

Maybe pride wasn’t so bad after all, you just have to be with the right people for it to work out.

———————————————————————

#criminal minds #cm #spencer reid #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #Penelope garcia #pride #moreid #fanfiction #ask #jennifer jareau #dave rossi #Tara lewis #dr Spencer reid #mlm #gay #writing #angst #slow burn #boyfriends #love them lol #og shit #Spencer Specific Fics #fanfic #oneshot #user penemily

[boxesandrings]

I it’s me again I love your stuff. A idea I had inspired a fanart Shane reacting to F!farmer telling him she’s pregnant

( I’m just curious where that would go )

(Hi I promise this is much happier than what the description sounds like!! I think considering Shane’s mental health history life changing news like this isn’t something he’d brush past with no second thought, having a kid is kinda scary to everyone! Promise it’s mostly fluff but wanted to tag anything that could be triggering for others xoxo)

Title: A Father!

Rating: T (mostly for language, but Shane's earlier heart events are mentioned briefly)

Summary: The Farmer shares some exciting news with Shane! He's immediately over the moon, but quickly becomes overwhelmed.

CW: Mentions of pregnancy, Shane's early heart-events, a panic attack(?)

Characters: Shane, F!Farmer, Marnie, Evelyn, Pierre (pretty much all are mentioned)

Words: 3816

Shane took off his boots before entering the cabin, grimacing as he bent to do so. Marnie had needed help repairing some things at the ranch today, and he had spent most of it in a crouch. His thighs were punishing him for it now, sore with every step. Maybe he’d take a bath tonight, let his muscles soak in the warm water and try to relax a bit. Maybe his wife would take one with him.

He waddled into the house, his legs tight and called out. “I’m home! You in?”

The Farmer was often out late, working in the fields or with the animals, or sometimes off mining or fishing at the lake by Robin’s. It had been lonely at first, an empty house was something he’d never experienced, but he had found ways to preoccupy himself. After a month, he and his then girlfriend had a chat, the Farmer promising to be home by 7 every night, or calling and letting him know if something had unexpectedly come up otherwise holding her late.

“In the kitchen!” Shane smiled, making his way toward the room. It was barely 5, a sign for a good night. The sound of music grew louder and the smell of bacon wafted toward him. In the kitchen, he found his wife flipping pancakes but minding another pan on the back burner. She turned when she heard him get closer, waving her spatula before focusing back on the food. Shane walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissed her cheek and rested his head on her shoulder.

“I thought it was my night to cook?” The pair switched who cooked every night, and Shane was certain it was his night. Or had he missed yesterday?

“Hello to you too.” The Farmer twisted her head around the best she could and puckered her lips, which Shane quickly kissed. “It was, but I just wanted to cook tonight. Go sit! I just finished up.” Shane squeezed his wife once more, but made his way over to the table. He groaned as he lowered himself into the chair.

The Farmer tilted her head as she carried a stack of pancakes for the table, watching as Shane rubbed his legs.

“Long day?” Shane nodded.

“Marnie called this morning and said that some pipes in the barn needed repairing, but neglected to mention that it was literally almost every single pipe in the barns, all the ones that carry water to the dispensers.” The Farmer set down the plate of bacon on the table, then slid into Shane’s lap, her arms around his neck.

“Oh, that’s rough.” Shane nodded, tilting his head forward into hers.

“They’re all so low to the ground, I essentially was in a squat all day. My thighs are killing me.” The Farmer nodded, her head moving his. She kissed his temple and stood up.

“I think I have some of that muscle cream lotion stuff that helps with the soreness. I’ll find it after dinner.” She made her way to her own chair, sitting down. “Not all bad though, squats are pretty good for the booty.” She smiled as she picked up a piece of bacon and winked.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” Shane shook his head, but smiled as he used his fork to slide a pancake onto his own plate. Yoba, was he hungry. “How was your day?”

The Farmer bit her lip, smiling. “Oh, you know. Same old.” Shane looked up, cautiously eyeing his wife. She was biting her lip, trying to hide an obvious smile and kept looking up at Shane as she made her plate. Shane squinted.

“I feel like you really want me to ask what else happened.” His wife nodded, slightly shimmying in her chair.

“I heard some real good gossip.” Shane couldn’t help but laugh after she said it. His wife looked so pleased with herself, like she could barely handle keeping her excitement inside. She grinned incredibly wide, biting her tongue. Shane picked up a piece of bacon and took a bite.

“Oh, what is it?” He raised his eyebrows a few times, making his wife laugh. After she had calmed herself for a second, she leaned forward, as if the knowledge itself were moving her.

“Someone we know is pregnant.” Shane dropped his fork and coughed. Now that was some good gossip. In a town as small as Pelican Town, secrets among residents were incredibly hard to keep, and something as big as that would have spread easily within a day to the entire population. How had he not heard yet?

“Who?” The Farmer leaned back in her chair, biting her thumbnail.

“Guess.” Shane ran his teeth over his tongue as he mentally went through each of the town’s residents.

“Jodie and Kent? I feel like they could have another, the gap would be the same from Sam to Vincent to this one.” The Farmer watched Shane, her face giving away nothing. Finally, she shook her head, the same shit-eating grin on her face. Shane thought hard.

“It can’t be Demetrius and Robin, he practically yelled from the mountain top when he had his vasectomy. I don’t think Pierre and Caroline even like each other anymore…” He watched his wife’s face.

“Keep guessing.” Shane threw his hands up, but continued to smile.

“You’re gonna make me keep guessing?”

“Come on! You’re getting closer.” Shane sighed.

“Let's see… Maru and Penny are together, so I don’t think they could… Sam is, and no offence to the guy, but the biggest virgin I’ve ever met…Harvey… no.” He looked down at the table, scratching his chin. “Sebastian and Abby could be… Alex and Haley, but I’m not sure if they’re broken up right now.”

He looked up toward his wife, but her face gave away no hints. “I mean, Elliot sleeps with practically every tourist, so statistically speaking…” Shane shook his head, his eyes wide, and his wife snorted. “I don’t know? Emily isn’t with anyone, Leah isn’t, but I might not know.”

Eyes wide, he looked back up at his wife. “It couldn’t physically… Marnie couldn’t…” The Farmer’s face finally broke, a similar look of horror on her own face.

“Oh Yoba no, don’t even—” She made a face, shaking her head. “She’s too old, and not to be mean but I think if your aunt was having a baby with Mayor Lewis?” She shook her head again, faster. “You’d find me in here retching.”

Shane leaned back in his chair and dragged his hand over the bottom half of his face, thinking. The devilish smile slowly creeped it’s way back onto his wife’s face as she watched him. Finally, he sighed.

“Who is it?” The Farmer suddenly stood up and ran to one of the cabinets, pulling out a sandwich bag. She sat back in her seat, and slid the bag across the table to Shane. He picked up the bag and realized there were three white, long sticks in the bag, each one with two pink lines on one end. He dropped the bag.

“Oh, gross, where were these?” He looked up at his wife, expecting the same grin, but was confused to see that it had fallen, a look almost like annoyance on her face.

“Good god, Shane, did you— do you think I’m going around picking up random pregnancy tests?” He paused, his mouth dropping.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. She didn’t find them, she took them. That’s why he hadn’t heard the gossip already, she was the only one that knew.

He jumped to his feet, forgetting the soreness in his legs. His hands covered his mouth, open in shock as he looked at his wife. She nodded at him, the smile returned to her face, hints of tears glistening in her eyes. He turned from the pregnancy tests on the table, pointing at them, to covering his mouth again and looking back at his wife.

She continued to nod, crying definitively now but still smiling. The pair had been married for almost two years, and while they hadn’t made a point of deciding to actively try for a baby, they certainly had been playing it fast and loose. Four months into the marriage they decided that what would happen would happen and stopped using any birth control, the Farmer throwing out any pills she had left. Lately, the couple had stopped even pretending they worried about the possibility of getting pregnant, and Shane had felt that a ‘we should start actively trying’ conversation was weeks away, rather than months or years.

Finally, Shane spoke. “Are… you’re…” The Farmer nodded, sniffling and smiling.

“Yeah, yeah!” Her voice was breathy, joyfully crying through the words.” Shane covered his mouth again and felt his own tears beginning to pop up in the corner of his eyes.

“I— I need you to say it.” The Farmer laughed.

“I’m pregnant.” Shane ran at his wife, scooping her up in his arms, pressing his lips firmly onto hers. She laughed as she kissed him back, her arms wrapped tightly around them as they stood in the kitchen, her tears against his face, or maybe they were his own?

They stood, holding each other, smiling and laughing and kissing, until Shane quite literally swept his wife off her feet, fireman carrying her into the bedroom while she laughed in his arms. He set her down on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, practically attaching himself to her as he kissed her face as she pretended to struggle beneath him, giggling the whole time.

He laid on his stomach next to her, his face turned towards her on the pillow. She watched him back, still laying flat on the bed.

“You’re pregnant.” The Farmer smiled and nodded.

“I’m pregnant.” Shane smiled, scanning his wife’s face.

“We’re having a baby.” She scooched her face closer, kissing the tip of his nose.

“We’re having a baby.” The two gazed at each other, minds racing with nothing and everything at once. Shane lifted himself up and moved closer to his wife, his face only inches away from hers, sliding one arm under her head and placing the other hand on her stomach. Shane bit his lip.

“When do we want to tell my family?” The Farmer sighed and looked up toward the ceiling.

“I don’t know. I want to tell them, but so much can happen in the first few months…” She trailed off, running her tongue over her top teeth. “Maybe in a month or two? Once the pregnancy is past that first little hurdle.” Shane kissed her cheek.

“I get it. Marnie tells Lewis, Lewis tells everyone.” He sighed now. “I mean, you’re only 30, I don’t think you’re high risk or anything.” His wife shook her head and smiled at him.

“No, it’ll be perfect.” She slid a hand over the one he had on top of her stomach. “I know it. Just in the small chance, I don’t want everyone knowing.” She looked back toward the ceiling. “Also, I don’t want all the attention right away. It’s such a small, small town. Something like this will rock the pelican town people to their cores.” She laughed, Shane joining in beside her. “But I promise, when we do tell people, Marnie will be the first to know.” Shane nodded.

“We’ll let her tell everyone else. Makes it easy.” The Farmer snorted.

“Yeah.” She drew circles on his hand with her thumb. “I mean, I guess we have to tell Harvey, for obvious reasons, but I don’t think he can legally tell others.” Shane laughed again, and pulled his hand out from under his wife’s, moving it up from her stomach to her chin. He pulled her face toward his, kissing her softly.

“We’re having a baby,” he whispered, his nose touching hers. The Farmer smiled, and kissed him again.

“We’re having a baby.”

*****************************************************************

Shane couldn’t sleep, far too excited by the day’s news. No matter how long he kept his eyes closed, or tried to count deep breaths, Shane was restless. His wife had fallen asleep over an hour ago and was curled into a little ball by his side, her head on top of one of his arms.

They were having a baby. Yes, it had been something he and his wife had talked about for a while, one day wanting children, but now it was actually happening. He turned his head to look at the Farmer, drooling on his arm, and smiled. They weren’t kids anymore, Shane well into his thirties, and his wife just into them, but it still felt so strange and new and exciting for them to be parents now.

Shane bolted upright, his stomach immediately twisting. The Farmer groaned on the bed next to him, violently awoken by the sudden removal of his arm. She rubbed her eyes with one hand and propped herself up, squinting in the dark.

“Did I sleep through the alarm again?” She yawned. Shane hopped out of the bed, bee-lining to the bathroom. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“I’m gonna be sick.” Shane slammed the door behind him, ignoring his wife’s further questions. He barely had made it to the toilet when he felt it deep within him, the nausea making its way out into the bowl. He didn’t hear his wife come into the room, only felt her hand on his back as he continued to retch. Finally, he laid his head against the bowl, breathing heavily.

“Shane?” He could hear his wife behind him start to speak but pause, unsure of what to say or ask, her mouth just kind of opening and shutting. She laid her head against his back and sighed. “Do you want some water?”

“I’m going to be a dad.” The Farmer chuckled behind him.

“Yeah. I think we covered that a bit earlier.” She lifted her head and resumed rubbing his back. “I’m excited too.” Shane sighed.

“I’m gonna fuck this kid up.” His voice cracked, and he watched as a tear fell from his face. The Farmer paused.

“What?” Shane pulled his arms up onto the bowl, wrapping them around his head.

“I’m a massive fuck-up, and I’m going to fuck up this baby too.” His shoulders shook, an attempt to hold back his tears. “I could barely take care of myself, how am I—” Shane’s voice broke. The Farmer let out a tense breath behind him, and began to rub his back again.

“Shane, no! Don’t say that.” He lifted his head up, and turned to look at his wife.

“I am. I mean, I was worthless. All I did was drink, I hated myself, and for fucks sake, I tried—” Shane paused as he noticed his wife’s lower lip start to tremble and sighed. “I could barely hold myself together until you got here, what, five years ago?” He bit his lip, the tears coming out faster now. “I’m doing good now, but what happens if it all falls apart again?” His voice cracked again, and Shane didn’t bother to hold back a sob.

The Farmer tried her best to pull Shane into her, them both sitting on the floor, but Shane just sat there numb. He wanted to have this life with his wife, a family together, but how could he be a dad? Why did she even want him?

“Shane, please.” He looked over to the Farmer, who was crying, her arms around him. He’d made her cry, husband of the year material! “I think you’re just… you did this when the dog died, too. It’s a lot of information coming in at once, big information. But it’s okay!” Her hands slid down his shoulder, taking his hands in her own. “We’re doing this together.”

Shane let out an indignant snort. “I can’t even handle the announcement, what happens when the baby comes?” His head was spinning. She deserved better. He loved her.

“Shane! You’re okay, it’s okay. We’re in it together, we have each other.” She squeezed his hands, scooting closer to him. “You’re going to be great, okay? You’re not a fuck-up. We all have rough patches, you just didn’t have the support system you needed. Please.” She kissed his temple, but Shane stared straight ahead, toward the wall. He wished he could shrink into a tiny ball.

“I can’t… I can’t mess this up too.” The Farmer pulled his head down to her shoulder, her hands carefully working their way through his hair.

“You’re not going to mess this up, babe. I think you’re just panicking.” She held him close, continuing to quietly stroke his head. “I’m nervous too, but I know I have you.” He loved her, but when she shifted away beneath him, the panic filled his chest again. “I’m going to go grab your anxiety meds. I don’t think you took them at dinner, they might help.” She fully slid out away from him, Shane’s heart beginning to race. The Farmer stood up and stretched out her back. “Now that I think of it, I don’t think either of us even ate.”

Shane felt sick to his stomach, and barely made his way back to the toilet bowl before throwing up again. The Farmer crouched next to him, her hand on his back. Shane could practically feel the concerned look burning into the back of his head.

“Even if I don’t mess up, I’m just passing a damn cocktail of mental illness along.” He sat back on the floor, and used his hand to try and rub away the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. The Farmer above him sighed and sat back down, and wrapped an arm back around his shoulder.

“Babe, don’t—” Shane choked and leaned forward, wrapping his arms over his head.

“It doesn’t even stand a chance, I’ve just fucked it up from the beginning!” He could feel himself hyperventilating, what did his therapist tell him to do? “It’s gonna hate me, I’ve already ruined everything—”

“Shane!” The Farmer’s face in front of his snapped him out of the almost trance he was in, the distraction what his body needed to get in at least one deep breath. She had tears on her cheeks, but her voice gave away no sadness. “Stop it! Calm down!”

Shane leaned forward into her, practically up on his knees now to wrap his arms around her, holding her tight as he cried. She rocked her body, quietly shooshing as she held him, pressing kisses into the top of his head as she did.

“You’re not going to fuck this up,” she said after Shane’s breathing became more regular. “I mean, we’re going to make mistakes. Both of us! A lot. But we’re going to be new parents, it happens.” He nodded, squeezing his eyes tight. “You’re not going to spiral— I mean, now, yes— but it’s not going to get bad like it was ever again, okay? You have me, your therapist, Marnie, we’re all here for you.”

“I love you.” His words were muffled, his face still pressed into her chest. He felt a rumble, a small chuckle above him.

“I love you too. Also, you’re not the only one afraid of passing on bad shit. I mean, my mom is medicated for depression, and I have ADHD.” Shane raised his head, his face even with hers.

“Yeah, I guess.” The Farmer smiled, and reached on her hands up to cup Shane’s face, wiping away a tear with her thumb.

“Yeah, dummy.” Shane smiled and kissed his wife, before pulling back and biting his lip.

“I’m— I’m so excited, I really am.” His eyes met hers briefly, before he looked away again. “I want this with you, truly, I—” The Farmer leaned forward and kissed her husband again.

“I know, Shane. I get it.” They held each other on the floor, their foreheads pressed together. Shane tried to calm himself, breathing in time with his wife. “We’re in it together, alright? We’ve got it.” Shane nodded.

“I know, I’m sorry.” The Farmer smiled.

“It’s okay, it’s gonna be a big change.” She chuckled to herself. “We’ve got nine months, I’m sure this won’t be the last freak out. That either of us have.” The Farmer stood up, and offered a hand to Shane, smiling. “Good luck to you when I have to start buying maternity clothes.” Shane grinned and took her hand.

“What? You’re cooking up a baby in there, you’re gonna grow.” He kissed his wife on the cheek and wrapped his arm around her.

“Oh, I know that now,” the Farmer said, leading the two of them back into their bedroom. “But I’m sure hormone-y me will have to reckon with that later.”

Shane snorted as the Farmer sat down on the bed, and pulled Shane down into her. He kissed her forehead and climbed over, pulling the covers up on his side of the bed. She snuggled back into him, her head resting on his shoulder, but Shane could feel her squirming.

“You feeling better?” Her voice was quiet. Shane nodded, and wrapped his arm around her head.

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Her arm snaked its way over his chest, reaching up to hold the side of his head. “You’re gonna be great.”

Shane smiled, and moved his head to kiss the palm against his cheek. “You too.”

****************************************************************

It took Marnie two weeks to figure it out. Something about the way the Farmer was moving, she had told Shane, was different, and trapped him in her kitchen until he confessed. Marnie was over the moon, and promised not to tell anyone, but Shane ran home and told the Farmer straight away. His wife had bit her lip but shook her head, smiling. “If anyone was going to piece it together, it’d be her.”

In Marnie’s defense, it was almost a week before Evelyn congratulated the pair at the general store. Shane watched as Pierre blushed and ducked behind a shelf, but the Farmer thanked her and moved past, reaching for a bag of flour on the top shelf.

“You know, that was a pretty good run, all things considered.” Shane nodded, agreeing with his wife.

“I mean, that has to be a record! What, five? Six days?” The Farmer laughed, and hoisted the last grocery bag up into the truck. She caught Shane’s gaze, and tilted her head.

“What?” Shane realized he had been staring at her, a dopey look on his face. He smiled, face turning pink.

“Oh, nothing!” He hopped up into the truck, his wife following suit beside him. He looked at her again. “I’m gonna be a dad.” She smiled now, rolling her eyes.

“You’re gonna be a dad!” Shane laughed, and started the truck. The two chatted excitedly the whole way back, discussing the future addition to both their home and family.

#sdv shane #sdv fanfic #stardew farmer #stardew shane #shane stardew valley #sdv requests #requests #fanfic request #requests open #shane x farmer #sdv fic #sdv marriage

[fleet-admiral-hiba]

Hi dear. How will the admirals behave if their daughter (teenage age) has a nervous breakdown and, in a fit of emotion, they even injure themselves? Thank you and good luck! 💞

Wow we're in for the drama I see. Anyway thank you babe for the ask. Let's get into it

ADMIRALS WITH DAUGHTER WHO BREAKS DOWN

SAKAZUKI/サカズキ

It was a bad day, that much was a given. Well not exactly a day, but more of month of utter stress.

You were overwhelmed with exams, class mates who were asking for your help in cheating said exams, even though you denied every one of them. Your teachers suddenly decided it would be okay to rely on you a tons of paper to fill as you were the college council representative and, even though you specifically asked your teachers to give you more time, given that you literally spent the month sleepless, they denied and said that you wanted to find a way out of your responsibilities. How you managed to keep your top grades was unknown.

So one day, after yet another fight with a class mate who didn't bring back some important files that needed to be handed in in two hours,you had to re write it and then after he signed the new one, hand the pack to the headmaster.

Only then you could have went home to just relax. Relax, yeah oh so you thought.

Your dad was cooking your favorite meal when he heard a string of curses upstairs. So he quickly set the utensils and made his way to your bedroom. What he finds was your books on the floor, you clutching your fingers that got crushed under the heavy tomes and you crying.

"What happened?" - " I can't do it, dad, I'm tired". You sobbed in his chest when he hugged you. He recognised the signs of you having a nervous breakdown due to too much stress and non existent sleep. He kept hugging telling you to take your time.

After a while you calmed down, and explained the situation. He was familiar with the context. So he decided that, after dinner and a good night of sleep, tomorrow you would remain home, resting while he had a talk with your teachers. It was an unhealthy amount of work they dumped on a teenager, one who even had the finals the same month they decided to don't do their jobs.

He would help you in his own way, with small gestures that convey his love for you. A pre made bento box, your clothes ironed on your bed, money to get lunch or dinner when he was away and a hug when you needed to just recharge.

He may not be the best with words, but he know his way with his gestures.

BORSALINO /ボルサリーノ

You woke up in your father's arms. That's what you remembered. But the events before were all a little bit blurred.

"How are you feeling, princess?" - "like I fought a sea king". Yep that much summarised what happened.

Slowly you start to recollect the event that led to you nearly breaking your foot, and it hurt, after you broke down on the stairs that led to the upper part of the house

"want to eat something? Spicy ramen?" - "thanks dad". You thought back to the causes of this sudden break down and you found the causes on... Your work.

You were a doctor in the base, and you had to work long shifts. But usually you were just tired, but satisfied with your work, you were able to help those who needed it.

But then you remembered the last ship that came in that had more injured than you and your team could handle. On top of that, the pressure of trying to save the majority of them weighted heavily down on you. You knew the risk of the job, but still, when you heard about the amount of casualties you couldn't take it anymore.

It wasn't that you weren't used to it, but the lack of sleep and the stress of the situation simply were too much. So you broke down... And hurt yourself.

You calmed down visibly after a good night of sleep, and you were ready to spend the next day with your father. It was the only time we're both of you could catch up prow and spend quality time together. It helped you both of course. Peace it's not a granted gift in your line of work

KUZAN /クザン

It had been a few stressful days at the bakery, but it wasn't so bad, at least that's what you thought.

Go figure when people decided it would be fun to abuse your free time, by dropping 70 orders in the same day and within the same span of time to deliver. Of course said people didn't understand that, even though you have a medium sized bakery, the products needs time to be perfect. People wanted your goods now and they were becoming angry.

Your father dropped by just to see you, and what greeted him wasn't expected. You were sat at the counter, crying hard with a bandage around your hand.

He silently hugged you, and rocked you so gently back and fort, until you were more stable and told him what happened.

While the breakdown was his main concern, he was curious to know the story about your hand. "oh this? I punched a client in the face, he was being a douche and couldn't wait a goddam minute to let me take out the batch from the oven".

Well he knew that making you angry wasn't a good idea, but that combined with the stress of the few days really did a number on you.

So like the good father he is, you closed the shop together and went to eat an ice cream, on the beach. Just chilling and recharging your batteries.

The bakery was closed for a bit due to shortage of goods and internal damage, so while you made the necessary reparations you took time to care for yourself without so much of an ounce of stress.

#one piece #one piece fanfiction #one piece headcanons #one piece imagine #one piece masterlist #one piece scenario #one piece x y/n #one piece marines #one piece akainu #one piece kizaru #aokiji

[linkspooky]

What do you think about utahime’s role in the series and what her development is going to be?

Iori is a character set up to do things as soon as the next few chapters probably, considering that the most recent chapter has brought her into play again in the Shibuya arc as well as the rest of the Kyoto Students. An analysis of her character and ideas for potential development underneath the cut. 

1. No, I Don’t Respect Satoru Gojo

If there was any character I would compare Utahime to right away my mind jumps to Nanami. Someone whose strength is that they are caring and attentive, especially with the children under their responsibility, but they don’t necessarily challenge authority. They follow the rules because they don’t have the strength to just blatantly laugh in the face of them like Gojo. 

Gojo works outside of the system. Everybody needs him, and because of that he doesn’t really have to play much politics or cooperate with somebody. Gojo never in any situation has to bow his head down, be quiet, or respectful. 

This is both a strength and a weakness. It’s a strength because Gojo sees what’s wrong with the world, and is actively taking steps to challenge it. However, because Gojo absolutely refuses to play politics with others it means that people can often pull strings behind his back and get away with it. Gojo is the strongest, but he lacks the authority of the higher ups, or even the finesse to try to subvert them. Yuji’s first death in the series was also Gojo losing a political move, because a lot of higher ups in the upper crust of the Jujutsu World that Gojo usually refuses to play games with, went behind his back while he was on a mission.

Gojo is many things but he lacks sublety. To put it in another way, Gojo tries to solve everything with strength, because he doesn’t know what it means to be weak. The first thing we’re introduced to about Utahime is that she’s Gojo’s literal opposite. 

Gojo assesses her as a weak person, the kind that he usually likes to look down upon. He teases her the same way he does Ijichi (probably just because he can, he’s a brat like that) however one difference is Utahime always snaps back at him when he tries something with her. 

He also asks something of her, to investigate the Kyoto School. This is Gojo whose tendency is to do everything by himself. 

I think the point of this comparison is Utahime is strong in exactly the areas that Gojo is weak. Utahime can keep her head down, play politics, and investigate others in a way that Gojo can’t because he’s just too loud and unsubtle about things. He prefers the direct approach with everything and to use strength to win. 

Gojo and Utahime occupy the same position in the Jujutsu High, she’s the head teacher for the Kyoto class, and Gojo is the head for the Tokyo class. However, how they run their classes is entirely different. Gojo wants strong comrades in arms who will eventually be able to fight for him, and surpass him. 

The Kyoto school is notably weaker, but also tends to act together as a unit more (with the exception of Todo). Even in the Kyoto vs Tokyo fight, the Tokyo kids all broke up and fought individually for the most part, while the Kyoto Kids planned on fighting together. They all ambushed Yuji together. Momo showed up to try to make Nobara understand Mai. Mai showed up to save Momo when she was about to lose. Miwa was cooperating to take Maki off of Mai’s trail before she lost her sword. 

The Tokyo school seems to be a group of highly strong individuals, who sometimes have difficulty fighting together. The Kyoto school kids are all weak individuals, who are stronger together as a unit. It’s even said last year that Tokyo won by having Yuta overwhelm and defeat everybody by himself because he was just so strong as an individual. 

In the event it looks as if the principal plotted behind Utahime’s back to take out Yuji. So either, she’s unaware of the corruption of her own principal unlike Gojo who is directly confronting it, or she like Nanami is keeping her head down. However, Utahime is one of the few adult sorcerers just like Nanami shown to be immediately concerned about the welfare of the children she’s taking care of. 

We’re kept in the dark about a lot with Utahime. We don’t even know what her Jujutsu technique is, and we even saw the old man’s. However, it seems that her first priority is always the children. 

Utahime is more or less the caretaker of a very, very troubled group of teenagers, as the Kyoto kids tend to be emotionally unwell and take it out on others. Utahime is very caring, but it seems there are a couple of times shady things happen underneath her notice because she’s not individually strong enough to stop them. She couldn’t prevent the principal from going above her, and telling all the kids to gang up on and kill Yuji. She could not prevent Mechamaru from going behind her back, and spying on both Jujutsu High and the other side in order to attempt to take everything on himself.

In a world where strength is everything, Utahime doesn’t seem to be traditionally strong. Gojo is probably right about whatever Jujutsu technique she has considering what the six eyes allows him to see. However, she subverts two classical attitudes of Jujutsu Society, she’s a caring person who likes to get close to others and she also tends to rely more on strategy and figuring her way out of situations rather than powering through them. Utahime tries to solve the puzzle of the room she’s trapped in in the Hidden Inventory flash back, Gojo just breaks it. 

Utahime is clever and subtle enough to have figured out the mole almost immediately. She’s good enough at getting close to others, and being open about her feelings that her and Shoko are still good friends many years after Geto and Gojo have broken apart, and the students she teaches all work together as a group of friends despite having highly volatile individuals (Momo, Mai, etc probably wouldn’t usually get along with a girl like Miwa). 

There are strengths to her ability to keep her head down, but probably at the same time just like with Nanami there are times where her weakness slaps her in the face. There are things she might have been able to prevent by challenging things head on more in the style of Gojo, instead of either trying to think her way around it, or be working within the system. She wasn’t able to stop her kids from targeting Yuji which would have gotten a child killed, and she couldn’t stop Mechamaru in time.

Now the biggest disaster in Jujutsu History is happening, and Utahime got sent away the day of, because Mechamaru thought she was too weak to survive with the rest of the kids. 

If Utahime doesn’t assert herself and challenge things, she’ll be left with the regret of not being able to do anything when the time comes. People like Mei Mei who are less caring but individually stronger end up mattering more because they assert themselves. Utahime is actually pretty strong willed, she basically never bows to Gojo’s teasing, but she is in situations like these passive.

If the Kyoto kids do charge to Shibuya in order to help the situation out, Utahime will most likely be the one leading them and that might be her character development. If they were all together they might fight together.

If Mei Mei doesn’t get to Gojo. Then basically every single other 1st grade or higher sorcerer is out of commission. Naobito got flamed by Jogo. Nanami was finished by Mahito. Kusakabe isn’t going to go into the subway tunnels because he’s too much of a coward. Shoko is kept out of the fight because she’s too valuable an asset to lose. Nobara, and Megumi are knocked out. If it’s not Yuji or Todo who gets there. Then the only adult left to do something is Utahime. 

This theory is a bit of a longshot, but considering how Utahime is framed as the  opposite of Gojo, and the way hidden inventory started... with Utahime being trapped in a curse and Gojo letting her out by smashing it. This time it could be Utahime letting Gojo out of the box, if she somehow gets there in time before the seal is finished and steps up to the occasion. That’s my current theory on what Utahime might do next. Also, my own personal pet theory is that we might see more of her in the next arc when everyone is dealing with the political fallout of so many deaths of important people in the Shibuya Incident Arc, because Utahime is the one who handles political matters and digs into the politics of the Jujutsu World not Gojo. 

#Anonymous #utahime iori #iori utahime #jjk meta #jujutsu kaisen meta #satoru gojou #gojou satoru #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen theory #metasks

[warinthetangledstars]

Howzer x fem reader

Also on A03 under the same username.

If you like this... I may be willing to take requests if you send something that clicks with me. I do plan on doing some Imagines with other clones. *cough*rex*cough. And even some General Grievous.

Stay Part 1

This imagine will probably be 2 or 3 parts. Eventually smut.

Setup for imagine: You are Cham Syndulla's sister, so close your eyes and imagine your beautiful self as a Twi'lek lady.

The Clone Wars recently ended and your family is gathered for dinner. This takes place before the events in TBB, so the Empire's plans for Ryloth are not yet known.

____________________________________________

"This is nice, eating dinner without talking about battle strategies," your comment was the first thing to break the silence since everyone had started eating.

With full mouths, the others at the table either hummed in agreement or nodded their heads silently; until Cham, sitting at one end of the table, finally swallowed down his food, "Most importantly, we can finally work towards healing - Ryloth and ourselves. This war has taken so much from us; we must come together as a family, appreciate what we still have, and move forward."

To emphasize his point, he stretched out his arms and took a hand of both his wife and daughter, who were sitting to either side of him, giving them both an appreciative glance. Your niece sitting next to you, bowed her head slightly, the implications of his words hitting a still-sensitive part of her. Without hesitation, you placed a hand on the back of her shoulder, a silent offering of support.

You didn't have to be force-sensitive like the Jedi to feel the sadness hidden behind the words that were, on the surface, positive and inspiring. Your eyes travelled from Hera, to your brother, and to your sister-in-law as you admired and appreciated their strength. If it hadn't been for them, you would have lost faith and hope a long time ago.

Finally, your eyes landed on Captain Howzer, who sat directly across from you. Your eyes met for a fleeting moment before he bowed his head sharply, seeming to take a sudden, intense interest in the food on his plate, poking at it with the utensil in his hand. Due to spending so much time with him during the war, you knew that, by bowing his head, he was trying not to impose on the intimate family moment.  It seemed no matter how much time he spent with you and your family, no matter how much happiness you shared or pain you suffered through together, he still felt unworthy of witnessing such tender familial moments because, well, he wasn't part of the family - he was an outsider.

Technically, it was true, he was not part of your family; he wasn't even Twi'lek, after all. He was a human, a clone of a human - some thought it necessary to make that distinction, though you couldn't see why. And, yes, he had started off as an outsider, a representative of the Republic Army and the undesirable, but necessary, military occupation that made its way to Ryloth due to the war; however, that was no longer the case. Captain Howzer had been loyal to your family and played a vital role in maintaining Ryloth's liberation from the Separatists. Most of all, he had gained the upmost respect from your brother.

So, whether he felt worthy or not, there was an unspoken acknowledgement in the family that Howzer was a part of it now, welcomed with open arms. And you, feeling the way you did towards him, always felt the urge to actively include him when appropriate.

With your eyes still on Howzer, you added to your brother's statement, "Don't forget about what we have gained."

Your brother gave you a skeptical glance, no doubt wondering how anything could be gained from a devastating war.

"You are right," Eleni spoke up as she looked over at Howzer, understanding the reference of your words as if she had been thinking it herself, "Ryloth has received many blessings from unexpected places. Your friendship, Howzer, is one of them."

Cham's skepticism faded into understanding, "Agreed."

Howzer, no longer hiding his face, looked at Cham and Eleni and offered them a wide grin as he spoke generic words of thanks. He did appreciate the kind words, but honestly, they only made him feel more...conflicted.

Howzer was literally created to serve the Republic and he only came to Ryloth because of his given order: Aid Ryloth in their continued liberation from the Separatists; he did not come here for friends or family. And he took it very seriously in the beginning.  But as the war dragged on and he experienced wins and losses with your family, the more he came to care for your family in a way he had never cared for anyone before, outside of his brothers of course.

So, regardless of what brought him to Ryloth, he now found himself here, eating dinner with the Syndulla family with no meaningful purpose other than to spend time in their company.  Yes, he had certainly gotten too close and now, for the first time in his life, he felt anguish for the position he was in.  Tomorrow, he would leave Ryloth.  The war was over, so the military occupation was no longer needed. Which, of course he agreed, was a good thing for the people of Ryloth, but he also found himself yearning to stay.  To stay here with you.

He had fallen for you, hard, and it was absolutely the last thing he needed. From the very first time he saw you, he was stunned by your beauty, unabated, even through the visor of his helmet. And then, from all of the time spent together in close quarters, his appreciation of your beauty flourished into something much more.  Proposing plans of attack that turned into friendly games of competition to see who could destroy the most droids.  Debating best lines of defense that turned into intimate conversations to help each other work through the painful losses.  Harmless jokes that turned into flirtatious banter.  He was oblivious to the subtle changes over time and realized it only when it was too late.

He should have never allowed himself to become so completely enamored with you. You were a beautiful Twi'lek woman, from an important family, meant to bring Ryloth back to its former glory, marry someone worthy of you, and have a family just as Cham did. 

He knew he wasn't worthy of you.  He was a clone trooper. He held the title of captain, sure, but still a clone; he would never be anything more than that. And he was leaving, off to wherever the Empire ordered him to go, to carry out whatever task the Empire ordered him to complete.

So, no matter how he felt towards you, there was so much that attested to the fact that you and him were never meant to be. He had to keep trying to break free of the feelings for you that he recklessly allowed to flourish, unchecked. He had to let you go.

Still, his actions betrayed his reasoning, as his dark, honey-gold eyes moved from Cham and Eleni, to meet yours. 

A smile broke across your serious face at the sight of Howzer's returned gaze until you noticed the smile that lifted his cheeks falter slightly, your own smile retreating in response.  You'd seen this happen before, all of those times when Howzer tried to give some semblance of happiness while his true feelings were anything but.  You titled your head slightly, with one eyebrow raised in question, as you studied him.  He was hiding something.

Howzer's eyes widened slightly, realizing you weren't fooled by his counterfeit smile.  What had given him away?  Had he slipped somehow?

His minute reaction confirmed your intuition, causing you to furrow your brows and mouth the words, 'What's wrong?'

Howzer didn't have a chance to offer any type of silent response before Cham spoke again, "In regards to moving forward, Sister, you can finally think about starting a family of your own."

You slowly turned to Cham, hesitantly breaking your gaze with Howzer, but noticed in your peripherals that his eyes did not leave you, "This is true."

"Do you have anyone in mind?" Cham questioned as he stabbed some food onto his utensil.

Do you have anyone in mind? You could imagine your brother was expecting you to name one of the Twi'lek warriors that played a vital role during the war. Of course, before the war, you would have agreed with that notion, as you did spend a lot of time in your childhood whiling away the hours by daydreaming about a strong, Twi'lek warrior coming into your life and the resulting family that would come from that fateful meeting; a family that reflected very much the family your brother had been blessed with.

But that was before you met a tan-skinned soldier from Kamino.

When he first arrived on Ryloth, he was just one of thousands, concealed behind a set of form-fitting plastoid plates and black body glove, made unique only by the teal markings on his armor and teal pauldron that adorned his right shoulder. Meeting him did nothing to alleviate any of your apprehension of working with a clone army. The combination of his visor acting as a solid, black mirror and his voice filtering through the helmet, giving it almost a mechanical sound, made it impossible for you to really connect with man under the armor. It was almost like speaking to a soulless droid.

It wasn't until you took a more active role in the war, when you finally met the man beneath the armor.  After a particularly intense battle, that lasted far too long, both of you sat on the ground with your backs leaned against a boulder you had taken position behind during the fight, breathing heavily.  You weren't looking at him when you heard the movement of his helmet followed by an unfiltered sigh of relief.  Curiously and cautiously, you turned to look at him and you felt your eyes widen in surprise.  All of your speculating of what hid under the helmet did not compare to the strong, angled profile of the man that sat beside you. And you were so overwhelmed by it that you had to turn away from him.

After that battle was the first time the two of you really talked to each other and made some sort of connection beyond "Twi'lek" and "Clone Trooper".  He was actually a person to you from that point on and it didn't take long for that connection to cultivate into a friendship and then blossom into something more.  Or, at least on your end, you supposed. You weren't exactly sure how he felt about you, because the signals he gave you were a bit conflicting - always sliding on a spectrum of 'cautious flirting' and 'cordial indifference', but you knew your feelings for him had, at some point, crossed into a whole new, serious threshold.

You; however, had never revealed your feelings for Howzer to anyone and was not privy to the idea of doing so in the moment. Still, you couldn't help but flick your eyes towards Howzer for just a second as you planned your response.

If Howzer hadn't been looking at you so intently, holding onto his breath as he waited for your answer, he would have missed that split-second glance you gave him.  A glance that made his stomach twist on itself as his feelings of conflict washed over him again.  You had looked at him as you considered Cham's question.  Once again there was a small act of confirmation that you felt something for him, that you reciprocated the feelings he had for you, but only to be forced to remind himself that your feelings for him, no matter what they were, didn't change the fact that pursuing a life with you was just not a possibility.

You didn't see Howzer struggle to keep his straight posture as discontent weighed down on his shoulders.

"I may need more time to think on it."

Your brother nodded at your answer, giving himself time to chew through his food, "Understandable, but if you want any advice I may know of some good candidates."

Candidates? The word made you roll your eyes, "I love you, Brother, but I will not be taking advice from you on this subject."

He huffed a laugh and raised his utensil in quick surrender, "Okay, okay, but maybe Eleni can help you."

No longer interested in carrying out this conversation in front of Howzer, you waved your hand gently in front of you, "I don't need help. I will handle it," you pointedly looked at your sister-in-law to add, "No offense."

Eleni let out a soft, reassuring laugh, "No offense taken. I have every faith you will find someone perfect for you."

You looked away awkwardly; it took everything for you not to look at the man that sat beside her.

Hardly skipping a beat, Eleni turned to Howzer, "What about you?"

Though you did not look to see, you could tell, by his voice and the movement in his chair, that he turned the top half of his body towards her, "I'm sorry, ma'am, what about me?"

"Have you thought about starting a family?"

"Oh, I do-- I've nev--," the way he stuttered made it sound like his brain was going to short circuit before he could decide on a satisfying answer, "the Repub - I mean - the Empire will keep me on as Captain."

Everyone waited, you unable to resist peeking at Howzer, for him to say something else, but his silence confirmed that he felt the question had been adequately answered.

"But now that the war is over, things will be so much more calm and you would surely have the time to focus on a family, even if you do stay on as Captain," Eleni reasoned.

He shifted in his seat, "I guess so.  I've never really thought about it," though his answer seemed frail, like it wasn't entirely true.

"Well, I'm sure you'd have no problem finding someone if you wanted to.  Cham told me how popular you were with the ladies here on Ryloth."

Cham shot a glance at Eleni, not angry, but not happy, "Eleni..."

A beeping interrupted Cham, a beeping that came from Howzer's wristlink.  You couldn't help but smile inwardly at the audible sigh of relief that escaped his lips as he stood up, "Excuse me," his voice serious.

As he walked away, you noticed that your body had tensed from the sound of his voice and, looking around, saw that you weren't the only one to do so.  The war was over, but hearing Captain Howzer's serious military voice brought you all back to the battle field. 

He was hardly gone for a minute before he returned to the table, choosing to stand next to his seat instead of sitting back down.

"Is everything fine?" Cham asked calmly, but seriously, as he stared up at Howzer.

Howzer gave a single nod, "Yes, sir.  All is well, but I must check in with the evening patrol," he bent down to pick up his helmet from the floor and placed it snuggly under his left arm.

Everyone, including you, relaxed, but you couldn't help but be surprised by his answer, Why were they still doing patrols?

As he stood back at his full height, his eyes scanned everyone at at table, "Thank you for inviting me to dinner," his eyes landed on Eleni, "the food was delicious."

You quickly tossed aside your concern about the mysterious patrols, "Hey now," your firm voice drew Howzer back to you, "why are you telling her that?  I'm the one that cooked dinner."

His head shook slightly, dismissing you entirely as he said your name in a playful manner, "I know you didn't cook it."

You cocked your head back, "Is that so?" Your voice was slightly challenging, "And what exactly makes you say that?"

Howzer had started to turn to walk away from the table, but stopped when you posed your question, "Well, it's just that," his right hand moved up to rub at the back of his neck, his eyes avoiding you as he carefully considered a response he really wasn't prepared to give.

Suddenly, Hera spoke up, taking the bait, "Because the food is edible.  You're a terrible cook."

You released a sharp gasp, feigning offense at her words, but still looking at Howzer as he slightly lifted his right hand up into the air in surrender, "Whoa, that's not what I was going to say," he said, only to wink at Hera, causing her to giggle.

Cham and Eleni both failed to stifle their small laughs at what had been said.  You rolled your eyes, letting them have the moment to laugh at your expense.  There was no way for you to argue Hera's point; you were horrible at cooking.

It wasn't until Howzer once again announced his departure and exited the room, did your concerns about him and the patrols come back to the forefront of your mind.  So, after just enough time to decide on your next course of action, you quickly excused yourself from the table and made you way after him. 

#star wars howzer #howzer x reader #relationship #eventual smut #captain howzer #clone wars #clone captain howzer #clone simp #tbb howzer #star wars clone wars

[hetalia-has-a-secretary]

Axis and Allies when they run in to their s/o who just dipped out one day 7 years ago with no warning or explanation, except she’s a mom now! And hey that kid looks... uh... kinda familiar... and they’re how old now?

(Basically Axis and Allies find their ex and meet their child who is a dead ringer for their country parent)

Mmmm angst *slurps the spilled angst off the floor*

Ffff- I need to come up with reasons as to why their S/O do this~ (• J •;)

Oh and C/N means Child's Name.

Allies and Axis see their S/O with their kid of 7 years.

Allies:

America:

His S/O ran into him on their way home, and the store they were in had something extremely specific they couldn't find anywhere.

So they took their chances, not really expecting to see America again.

But they did, and it was a long pause in silence.

S/O could physically how hurt he was, but the sight of a child, even if it was obviously his, made him turn around to walk off.

His S/O didn't know what to expect, but him walking away was not one of them. They picked their kid up and went after him.

"Alfie- He's yours..."

He stopped in his tracks, eyes already red, but scrunched in confused anger.

"Why didn't you tell me? After all this time... Why?"

His S/O walked closer to him, not wanting to stir up unwanted attention.

They explained that they were scared their lives wouldn't work out. They were worried he'd be so busy traveling and enjoying life, a new family would weigh him down.

Giving another hard swallow he went to walk away, only for the kid to be eyeing him from his S/O's shoulder.

Neither of them meant to act like this in front of the kid, but none the less America found a way to console them, promising to do what it takes to show how much he cared. About both them, and their child.

Even if it took a few akward phone calls.

England:

His heart shattered. Standing right across the road was his S/O.

And in a spur of the moment he ran across beeping traffic, and stopped barely 10 steps away as he notices the kid.

Part of him hated the fact they ran off, and was happy they crossed paths again. The other part of him wondered if running across a busy road was worth it.

He looked at his S/O, then at the kid, silently asking if it was really his.

A quick nod from his S/O and he immediately knelt down to talk to the kid, making his S/O tear up.

"Hey kiddo. I'm... You must be S/O kid right? I'm an old friend of theirs... My name's Arthur..."

The kid looked up at S/O for approval to interact with this 'stranger', to which they agreed.

"Hi... I'm C/N... How are you?"

England had to fight back tears at this point.

"I'm doing good... Very good. It seems S/I taught you well, you're very polite..."

The kid nodded, saying thank you.

Only later did he find out that his S/O left, thinking he wouldn't want a kid, and it was going to ruin the relationship.

From them on he did everything he could to make up all the lost time, silently worrying over why they'd think he'd wouldn't want a family with them.

France:

He was brutality heartbroken the day they left. Like, this is a HUGE no, no to do to him.

At first he thought they were missing, but when it finally became clear they just left him, he got really cold.

Right up to the point of seeing them in public, on the streets.

Eyes locked, and his S/O expected him to be romantic about, fully preparing to reconnect.

Not what happened. He walked up to them, a crunched up face, obviously smitten with them.

"Why are you showing your face around my home?"

Pain on both sides of the party. His S/I wouldn't be able to get a word in as he assaulted them with questions and accusations as to if they even loved him.

Only when the sound of a small kid calling out for S/O did France freeze.

He was shocked, and looked at his S/O wise eyed.

His S/O gave a vague explanation.

"I'm sorry... But I wanted to raise them outside of a busy city. I told you were I was going to be, didn't you get my letter?"

He shook his head no. Watching his S/O silently cry in front of them.

And in one forgiving swoop he held them close, tears falling from his own eyes as he gave apologies.

After he was done with his S/O, his child was next, he spun them around, immediately repeating the fact he was their father, making the child giggle as well.

China:

Even though he felt close to his S/O he got over it quickly, also being use to people leaving him for whatever reason.

He never expects relationships to last.

But seeing a familiar face, I should say familiar faces, standing at his door made his heart pond, and ache all at once.

He wanted so badly to hold them, but he needed answers.

S/O ride broke down near by, and they needed a place to stay. This was the only place they could think of.

Once the kid was put to sleep, both adults doing an amazing job of keeping their cool, things started to unravel.

He asked about the kid, and why they left. Being told his S/O was simply a bit overwhelmed finding out they were pregnant, so they decided to leave made him almost laugh.

To him it was a ridiculous reason to leave, so he was the one to ask them to stay.

Russia:

He did not do well when he realized his S/O wasn't coming back anytime soon.

He felt their relationship was at its peak, only for them to disappear? Yeah, not going to happen.

His S/O might think they were better off but Ivan, had other plans. He wanted to know why. Was there someone else involved, more specifically.

He hired people to watch them, and when he learned there was a kid involved it angered him. He had to fight every nerve to not go find his S/O himself.

Only when he saw the kids eyes, a brilliant purple, did it click for him.

The reason why they left didn't matter, and he gave them time to change there mind.

When those 7 years past (if even) he went straight to where they were, demanding answers.

His S/O had to explain they were scared having a child around could complicate things. Especially when Ivan himself was trying to change as a person.

That news turned his anger into hurt. He wanted nothing more than to be family with his S/O, and having a kid as well? He already made vows to change, so he became a little more self aware after this event.

He went great lengths to learn about parenting, to the amusement of his S/O.

Though he won't admit it, he is kind of bummed out over the fact he was never able to hold his own kid as a baby.

Axis:

Germany:

Heartbroken wasn't the word to use.

He got a bit more, pig headed for a month or so, but got over it. Assuming it just wasn't meant to be.

However, after seeing a child that looked like a splitting image of him hanging on his S/O's hips said it all.

He literally walked up and straight up asked if the pregnancy was the reason they left.

His S/O sheepishly agreeing.

He gave a sigh, asking them if they'd still be interested in being together.

From there the next few months were spent patching up their relationship.

Japan:

He had to be convinced several times, to leave his room.

Eventually he moved on, but still missed them

So the look on his face when he finds them at an old restaurant they use to meet at, was quite the look.

He cursed himself for the sensation of meeting for the first time.

It was like his body moved on it's own. Up until he spots the kid. Then he tried to backpedal.

Not Because he wasn't happy about being a father (possibly), but he wasn't ready for the news.

He only got so far before his S/O called out his human name. To which he froze and turned around with a bright red face. Obviously understanding the situation.

Surprisingly enough the three of them seemed to connect and get along like it wasn't a super akward moment.

He almost all forgot to ask about why, but saved that question when C/N wasn't around.

He was glad to hear it was just because they were scared. Now he's more than happy to try again, and actually kind of excited to teach this small being about anime... And life things but mostly anime.

Italy:

He's the kind of guy to never get over it.

Even though he's fine on the outside, literally everything I'm his home reminded him of S/O

The amount of whiplash he experienced when finding them in his home town made his skin crawl

To him, it was like seeing a ghost, and it was honestly a bit much. Especially with the tiny clone of him.

Naturally he fainted on the spot.

Later on, in the hands of a medical staff, he and his S/O had a long conversation about the why's, and how's.

His heart still sunk hearing the reason they ran away, was because they didn't want to take away his freedom.

Thing is, his S/O was his freedom. So he listed all the reasons why. Freedom to be him, freedom to admit his fears when others would laugh at him.

They were his source of strength, and safety net. So yeah, he wanted them back. Kid was an added bonus.

#hetalia american #hetalia england #hetalia france #hetalia china #hetalia russia #hetalia germany #hetalia italy #hetalia japan #hetalia world stars #hetalia #hws #aph

[shy-peacock]

Rayamaari as parents HC

because they’d be cute parents 

feel free to consider this as modern AU or not. XD

The topic of children is brought up several years after the events of the movie, when the both of them are in their thirties. The two of them spent that time focusing on building Kumandra, working on their relationship, and having tons of adventures.

When they decide they want kids its actually Namaari who fears she isn’t going to be good enough and Raya who comforts her and reminds her of how absolutely amazing she is to the children of Fang. “I have all my trust in you Namaari...in us, I know you and I can do this.”

Though they’d be happy with either, they can’t help but have an overwhelming sense of joy when the child turns out to be a girl. And it is their only child.

Namaari is the Mom that their daughter goes to when she’s sick or hurt, the Mom who bandages her up and kisses away tears and holds her at night till she’s asleep. There are times she can be a helicopter parent and lose her cool if someone has wronged her kid. She’s the Mom that stays up late helping with projects and the one who is seen as wise and strong. ‘Cool Mom’ 

Raya is the Mom that takes her on adventures and teaches her anything and everything she can, regardless if it’s ideally safe or not (for example, trying to teach her daughter how to scavenge for food and ultimately being chased down by wild animals that nearly get them both killed). She’s the one who hands the tools she needs to succeed and tells her to go forth. Raya’s the Mom she tells everything to, the Mom who she cries to when her first crush broke her heart. ‘Fun Mom’

When Namaari disciplines, it is firm and to the point. Leaving little to argue and a consequence severe enough that their child will NEVER do whatever bad thing she had done again.

When Raya disciplines, she leaves it to the one their kid has wronged. While sometimes its effective, other times not so much. Chief Virana had her Granddaughter scrubbing floors when she had been disrespectful, Sisu however spent the day swimming with their kid instead of actually punishing her. Which Namaari swiftly fixed the moment the two arrived back from their day of fun.

Speaking of Sisu, she’s the God-dragon of Namaari and Raya’s kid; and she’s taken the child on numerous flights through the sky ever since she was young.

Their kid has the same sense of bold courage that both Mother’s have times ten, which excites and terrifies them both when she’s old enough to cause chaos in all of Kumandra. And yes, that age is three.

She’s adored the Serlots ever since she first laid eyes on them and is often found napping with them instead of using her actual bed. The Serlots love her just as much and have become just as protective of her as Namaari.

Raya is the “Mcdonalds, Mcdonalds, Mcdonalds!” Mom

Namaari is the “There is food at home.” Mom as well as Benja as the Grandparent.

Virana is the Grandparent who orders a single black coffee and drives off.

Noi and Boun have the ‘favorite cousins’ vibe to the girl, even though they are several years older than her.

Tong has the ‘weird uncle with amazing stories’ vibe and whenever he visits, their daughter hangs on his every word.

Since their daughter is both the pride and joy of Fang and Heart, she is showered with attention from their people that she loves as a kid but dreads as a teenager when she begins to want her independence.

And because I love this kind of shit. I imagine her hair would be long like Raya’s but cut like Namaari’s!!!!!!! LIKE THIS

Yall I could literally go on and on, but feel free to add XD

#raya x namaari #rayamaari HC #raymaari HC #rayaari HC #ratld HC #rayamaari #raymaari #rayaari #namaari x raya #rayamaari children #ratld headcanons #future hcs I guess lmao

[egcdeath]

wrong place, wrong time

summary: a drunken mishap leads you to reconcile with someone from your past. (based off this prompt)

pairing: andy barber x reader 

word count: 2.1k

author’s note: this fic has been sitting in my drafts, half finished, for like months. i hope you enjoy!

warnings: extremely brief mention of cheating

“I just think things would be better if we… you know, saw other people,” Oliver explained through the phone. 

You sighed dejectedly into the microphone, before deciding to hang up, and aggressively tossing your phone onto the leather seat next to you. You’d already had a shit day at work, and you really didn’t think that you could handle all of this today. Especially considering that you were almost certain that there was the hint of a feminine giggle in the background of that call.

You’d been expecting this for a while, your relationship with Oliver had been falling apart- slowly but surely- for a few months now, and he was ‘working late’ way too many nights for you not to be the slightest bit suspicious. But it still hurt, you were now single, and you’d essentially wasted a precious year of your life with a douchebag who ended up leaving you anyway.

You pressed your foot on the gas, and began your drive back home, before telling yourself fuck it, and deciding to turn onto a side road so you could head to your local pub. 

-----

Several drinks later, you were extremely drunk. From that point on, everything was a bit of a blur.

You stumbled out of the bar (against your own will? You vaguely remember someone telling you that you needed to leave), sat in the back of an Uber (how much did you tell them? Probably too much), arrived at your home (but why weren’t your keys working?).

Things were a bit less blurry here. You can remember yourself repeatedly stabbing your keys into the door, and when that didn’t seem to work, deciding to hoist yourself over your fence, and get in through the back.

During this whole ordeal, you tripped over a seat on the patio, losing a shoe in doing so, and nearly fell into a pool, since when did my house have a pool? You ignored that thought, then opened the back door, getting in with no resistance. 

You hobbled inside, closed the door behind you, then stumbled up the stairs, before finally finding your (?) bedroom. You flopped down in bed before realizing that you really needed to pee, and as you went to go find your bathroom, everything seemed to go black. 

----

You woke up extremely disoriented in a vaguely familiar bathtub. It faintly smelled of pine, and possibly a hint of vanilla. The tub had a modern and sleek look, yet appeared to be as sterile as a hospital room. This was absolutely not your home. But it possibly belonged to someone you knew. The tiles lining the wall did seem to ring a bell somewhere deep in the foggy abyss of your hungover brain. 

As you sat up, you groaned due to the consistent pulsing in your head. This had to be one of the worst hangovers you’d had in a while, and you were lucky that you didn’t lean over and empty the contents of your stomach right that instant.

“Stupid fucking Y/N,” you whispered to yourself. “You’re lucky all of your organs are still intact.” After stating this, you glanced down at your torso just to make sure. But a larger question still remained, where were you? Did you hook up with someone? Did you just randomly break into someone’s home? That’s a little ridiculous. Who would do something like that?

Apparently, drunk you would. In the process of exiting the tub, you concluded that you absolutely were in someone elses' gargantuan of a home, and that that person was undoubtedly down the hall, taking a phone call. Also, you were definitely missing a shoe.

You glared at yourself in the mirror, smeared makeup on your face, hair that looked so frizzy that you may as well have been struck by lightning, and of course the overwhelming scent of dry liquor that seemed to be seeping out of your skin. You turned on the sink and splashed your face, trying to completely wake up, and to partially figure out if this was real life, or just a horrible dream. 

“Fuck!” you exclaimed out loud to yourself. How would you even get out of this situation alive? Perhaps you could find a window to jump out of. No, too dangerous. Hide in the bathroom until the man leaves? Well, everyone has to go to the bathroom at some point. Leave without being spotted? Mhm, very likely. Go talk to the homeowner? It doesn’t seem like you have any other option right now. You internally screamed at yourself for being so reckless, especially having gone through all of this drama for a guy who didn’t deserve one ounce of your attention.

You slipped off your remaining shoe, then slowly made your way out of the bathroom, peeking behind the doorway to see if the coast was clear, and trying to plan your explanation in the process. As you peered around, searching for the quickest and easiest exit, you realized just how familiar the home was. But what really did it for you was a painting on the wall. 

This was Andy Barber’s home. The same man you hooked up with a few times before ghosting. You sighed exasperatedly at your own poor decision making for what felt like the millionth time that morning.

You had to get the hell out of here. Fast. Lost shoe be damned.

You somewhat remembered the floor plan, so managing to get out unnoticed began to seem just a tad bit more possible. You began to jog it down the hall, trying not to be too heavy footed as you went, in the event that Andy was standing in the eyeline of one of the open doors. Unfortunately for you, in the midst of your beeline down the hall, you were spotted. 

“What the..? You know what Lynn, I’ll call you back in a bit.”

“I can explain! Don’t like… kill me or something. I promise you that this is just a big misunderstanding,” you were speaking without really processing anything that you were saying. You turned to face the man, and couldn’t help but to smirk a bit at the sight of him. You forgot just how attractive he was, with a full beard, fluffy hair, and soft blue eyes that seemed to be boring straight into your soul from across the room. Not to mention his sculpted body, which you swore you could make out beneath his sweatpants, and worn white shirt. Really, Y/N? First you ghost a man, break into his home a year later, and now you’re objectifying him? 

You moved towards the door and began to speak again, your words flowing out at a million miles per minute, “Uhm, so long story short, I basically got really drunk last night, and I thought your house was mine, so I kinda broke in. But I’ll be seeing myself out now,” You gave a curt smile, and looked towards the stairs. “Before I go, any chance that you’ve seen my left shoe somewhere around here?”

It was clear that Andy was very confused, but as you read his face, you could see that he was far more intrigued than angry. “Hey, not so fast.” He approached you quickly, his eyebrows lifting in surprise, and his mouth gaping open slightly. “No fuckin’ way. Y/N?”

You scratched the back of your head awkwardly and nodded, “yeah.” 

“You’re not getting off the hook that easily. Lucky for you, I was about to make breakfast, aaaand I’m not totally opposed to being joined,” he gave you a genuine smile, and a playful little shrug. 

“That’s fine with me but- this sounds kinda strange- can I use your shower first?”

“Go right ahead. Mi casa su casa, right? I mean, kinda sounds like that’s what you were thinking last night,” Andy peered at you inquisitively at this, “I’m just kidding. Feel free to use anything you need.”

You couldn’t even blame Andy for his passive aggression, but that didn’t stop you from sulking the whole way back into the bathroom.

----

“I forgot how good your water pressure is,” you announced while coming down the stairs, clad in a college hoodie that you’d found in the depths of Andy’s closet, and shorts that were just a tad too large for you.

“Thanks, I guess?” Andy flipped a pancake, then turned to get a good look at you. 

“You’re welcome. It smells so good down here,” you slipped into a barstool at his granite island, and observed him while he cooked, “so... you still live here alone?” You asked while you were passed a mug of coffee.

“Well, yeah. I mean that’s kind of what happens after your wife and son die.”

“Uhm.. sorry. For bringing that up again,” you glanced down awkwardly at your dark drink. 

“It’s okay, they’ve been gone for a while,” he sat down at his seat, setting down a plate of food for you and himself. “What’ve you been up to? Apart from breaking and entering, of course.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” you began, cutting into a syrup-soaked pancake. “You’re no saint either. I can’t think of anyone in their right mind who would gladly break bread with someone who drunkenly broke into their home.”

“That’s fair,” Andy stated, almost dismissively. “But it's not like we’re total strangers. We have history.”

You scoffed at this, “like hell we do,” you muttered. “Anyway, things with me have been pretty boring. Same job. I had a boyfriend, but he just dumped me like, 12 hour ago. I’m pretty sure that he’s been cheating on me for like, the past four months.”

“That sucks,” Andy commented, shoveling a piece of pancake into his mouth. 

“Yeah, it does. How about you?”

“You know, same old. Still an ADA, still getting messages from random people about that trial, and of course, still perpetually lonely.”

“By no means do I mean to impede, but maybe you’d be a little less lonely if you let people in,” you suggested, looking up from your food to Andy, whose face gave away the offense he was feeling, “I said maybe.”

“What do you mean?” He questioned, brows furrowing.

“Come on, Andrew. You know exactly what I mean. Like with us, I thought everything was going perfectly well, until I was half asleep and you were telling me that you weren’t ready to commit. Literally moments after you were balls-deep in me.”

“Don’t call me that, Y/N,” Andy squinted at you in agitation. “Is that why you stopped picking up my calls?”

“What do you think?”

He sighed softly, “If it’s any consolation, I’ve been trying to do better. I talk to a… counselor… every now and then. Everything’s just been different ever since they passed, you know? It’s hard to form connections after your most intimate ones disappear in the blink of an eye.”

You frowned a bit at the man, and set down your fork. “I get it. I’m sorry.”

“Do you, though? Get it?”

“Not really. I was just trying to be supportive,” you turned a bit in your seat to get a better view of Andy. “I just wonder if we had this conversation a year ago if you and I would be in a better position now. I really liked you a lot.”

Andy was silent for a moment, and observed you pensively. “Let’s try again, then. It seems like you and I both are ready for something new.”

“Oh Andy,” you rubbed the back of your neck anxiously. “I just got out of a relationship less than a day ago.”

“Then we can take this, whatever it might end up being, slow. It would be nice to have a friend around who doesn’t just want to talk about work, and tell me that they’re sorry for my loss.”

You nodded, “I’ll probably need a shoulder to cry on at some point sooner than later.”

“So... friends?”

“Friends,” you agreed with a smile and a lift of your shoulders. 

Part of you hoped that maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of something great.

#andy barber x reader #defending jacob #chris evans x reader #andy barber x you #hey i wrote that lol