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bcdrawsandwrites · 1 year

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[ID: A Psychonauts fic cover. The cover depicts Sasha’s Shooting Gallery with one of the bootleg tiffany lamps being blown up by a purple psi-blast. The shade of the lamp is split into two large chunks, with the left one featuring a subtle, stylized Loboto, and the right one featuring a subtle, stylized Sasha. The title, “Having a PSI-BLAST!” is shown with “Having a” just above the lamp and “PSI-BLAST!” between the two split parts of the shade. /end ID]

Fandom: Psychonauts

Rating: T

Genre: Humor, Hurt/Comfort (a weird mix of both)

Characters: Sasha Nein, Caligosto Loboto (and Raz and Milla very briefly)

Warnings: PTSD, panic attacks, (SPOILERS: mentions of torture)

Description: After tracking Loboto’s progress with re-learning his repressed psychic powers, Sasha decides that it’s time for him to learn psi-blast. He begins his lesson as usual, but things quickly start going off-course... for more reasons than one might expect.

Beta Readers: @jaywings and @of-science-and-stars

Notes: This takes place after Psychics Ruin Everything, but if you haven’t read that, then just know Raz has helped Loboto re-gain his psychic powers post-Psychonauts 2 and the Psychonauts are teaching him how to use them safely.

---~~~---

Outwardly, Sasha was in his office, straightening books on the shelves, putting away a few he'd been studying, and using practiced telekinesis to sweep the dust off of his table and into a trash bin. Inwardly, he was reviewing his notes, even though this was a lesson he'd given a dozen times or so. Though this would be his first time (in a while, anyway) giving the lesson to someone... closer to his age.

Or someone who had once been a detainee at headquarters.

...Or someone who had kidnapped him twice.

He paused, sighing. No, this wasn't how he should be thinking of his pupil. After all, Raz and Morry had left detailed notes about their experiences in Caligosto's mindscape, making it clear that he had, indeed, changed for the better. It wasn't all that different from how he, Milla, and Ford had examined Morry's mind several weeks ago. They'd helped Morry, and now it was time to continue helping Loboto.

It had taken a bit more convincing than he would have liked; Loboto had been hesitant to enter his lab again, for reasons he couldn't fully understand. It wasn't as though he'd tortured him, though some of the devices he'd used could be a tad... uncomfortable. Regardless, the situation with Maligula had been resolved and there was no reason to interrogate him further.

Razputin had vouched for him, though, assuring Caligosto that Sasha was an excellent teacher and that psi-blast was a useful technique.

Indeed, it was. It had gotten Sasha out of a fair number of dangerous situations. Not to mention its therapeutic qualities.

The door to his lab slid open, and Sasha gave a quiet hum, stepping out of his office to glance down the hall. To his surprise, Caligosto was there alone, peering into the lab while gripping the edge of the doorway.

"You can come in, Caligosto," he said with a calm nod.

Loboto stayed put. "You're not going to psychically drug me and set me on an exam table, are you?"

"That would be counterintuitive, so, no."

With an uncertain grumble, Loboto crept into the lab, his loupes darting around as though he were expecting some kind of trap. Sasha waited for Raz to follow him in, but the door slid shut behind him.

"Is Razputin not coming?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, he got called away," Caligosto said, his face scrunching up as though he'd just tasted something sour.

"Very well. We can conduct the lesson without him." With a wave of his hand, he urged his new student to follow him further into the lab. He'd moved the exam table and most of the monitors off to the side, so there was a decent amount of empty space to stand in. Sensing Loboto's hesitation, however, he glanced back at him again. "How has your training been going so far?"

"Uh..." Loboto shifted uneasily where he stood. "Fine? The army man ran me through his silly little obstacle course, and Raz is helping me with telekinesis."

"And levitation?"

Caligosto froze. "Fine," he said quickly, his mouth screwing up.

Sasha gave a short hum. In truth, he had been actively tracking Loboto's progress. Morry was required to report back to him, Raz was always excited to discuss whatever work he was doing, and he and Milla were in constant contact.

It was how he'd learned that Loboto had been making very little progress with his levitation training, and why Sasha had decided to go forward with the current lesson.

Nodding again at his student, Sasha walked to the center of the lab, then paused. Milla, Loboto and I are going to proceed with the psi-blast lesson.

Oh! I forgot that was today. I'm just heading in for my weekly meditation in psychoisolation.

It's not a problem. I'll fill you in afterward.

I look forward to it, darling!

Hearing the clanking of boot heels against the metal floor, Sasha turned to face Loboto again. "If you're ready, we can proceed."

Once again, he hesitated. "What if I'm not?"

"Is there anything in particular holding you back?" Sasha asked.

Loboto didn't answer, his loupes now scanning the floor beneath him.

As the shower cap Loboto insisted on wearing made it impossible to read his mind, Sasha couldn't pick up on the exact reason for his hesitation, but if he had to guess... "We could wait for Agent Aquato if you wish."

Immediately Loboto perked up, only to glance away, crossing his arms. "Well it's not really necessary..."

"It's not a problem. Give me a moment." With that, Sasha placed a hand on his temple and reached out, managing to locate Razputin in Hollis's office. Agent Aquato, are you there?

Uh, yeah, kinda busy right now, Sasha. Is everything okay?

Caligosto was wishing to wait for you before we proceed with the lesson.

Oh! Yeah, I can— There was a short pause. ...Wait, no, Hollis just handed me more paperwork. Aw man, are these double-sided?! Who the heck—

I see. I'll attempt to sort things out, but if not, we can reschedule. Removing his hand from his temple, he looked back at his student, who was turned away, though his loupes were turned back to focus on him. "Well, it seems Agent Aquato is going to be preoccupied for a sizeable length of time. As such, we might have to reschedule."

"Oh, that's too bad," Loboto replied in a droning voice, striding toward the door. "I was really looking forward to that!"

"Yes, it's a shame," Sasha replied, lighting a cigarette with pyrokinesis and TKing it to his lips. "Turning your negative emotions into firepower is a useful and enjoyable skill, but I'm sure I can slot you in again in another week or so."

Caligosto froze, and Sasha allowed himself a small hint of a smile.

"Indeed, this is a skill that has saved both Razputin and I on many occasions. But if we have to wait, then that's how it is."

"Hhhghhh...!" Caligosto spun around, pointing an accusing claw at Sasha. "Don't you try that psychic-psychology-psychononsense on me! It won't work!"

Sasha shrugged, TKing his cigarette away for a moment and breathing out the smoke. "I wasn't trying anything. Merely stating that the power was useful, but it's understandable that you'd want to wait to learn it. Which is clearly your preference."

"Hey, I never said that!"

"So you wish to proceed with the lesson?"

Caligosto stared at him, yellow teeth bared, before he tossed his arms up in the air. "Yes! Fine! Okay!" Growling, he stormed back to the center of the lab. "Let's see if your silly power is as useful as you say."

Sasha didn't hide his smile this time. "Excellent. Now that you're ready, we can proceed." With that, he put out his cigarette in a nearby ashtray, and gently TK'd his Psycho-Portal onto his forehead before tapping the door.

Caligosto's mouth wobbled nervously, but he steeled himself right before his astral projection was yanked from his body and into Sasha's mind.

—-~~~—-

The welcoming calmness of the shooting gallery sprawled out before them, with all of its predictable, purposeful patterns and simple colors, not a single mental object out of place, and no distracting sights or sounds or—

"Hello? HellooOOOOOO!"

Sasha grimaced as his student cupped his hands around his mouth and called out into space. "Yes, Caligosto, I'm right here." Nodding out at his mental world, he prepared to start his usual lecture. "Welcome to—"

"I was tryin' to see if my voice would echo," Caligosto replied, looking back at him. "Seems empty enough."

Strolling across the surface of the cube, he attempted to roll with Loboto's interruption as he had Raz's comment back when he’d taught the young agent. "There's more here than meets—"

"I guess you don't have much in the way of thoughts, then," Caligosto went on with a smirk. "Perhaps they leaked out from using your silly psychic powers too much?"

Sasha resisted the urge to unfold an entire face of the cube to prove him wrong. Instead he stared him down silently, a technique that worked to quiet down rowdy children who refused to pay attention to his lectures—or was supposed to. Loboto stared back, keeping his defiant grin, but it slowly faded as he seemed to realize Sasha wasn't going to put up with his nonsense. Once he was sure his student was going to cooperate, Sasha continued toward a specific section of the cube face.

"As I was saying, there's more here than meets the eye. But I've learned to keep it under strict control..." And he spun around to face Loboto, who had been following awkwardly behind him. "Which is what I'm here to teach you: control."

Caligosto froze, his loupes twitching as they looked him up and down. "Control?" he repeated, his brow slowly furrowing and claw clenching. "You tricked me! You said you were gonna teach me how to blast things with my brain!"

Taking a half-step back, Sasha raised a brow. "It's necessary to learn in order to achieve that skill."

"Oh, sure it is! You guys are alllll about mind control, aren't you? Keeping people under your thumb, making sure you've got people wrapped around your scrawny psychic fingers—"

Sasha heaved a sigh; he should've seen this coming. "No, Caligosto. Mind control is an entirely different subject, and one frowned upon here, aside from in the most desperate circumstances." He shook his head. "The sort of control I'm talking about is self-control."

Loboto crossed his arms. "I've heard that before, Dad," he spat, sticking his tongue out between his teeth.

He could feel a headache coming on, but a thought crossed his mind. "Actually, it's good that you're feeling this anger right now."

That seemed to catch Caligosto off-guard, and he reeled back. "Wh-what?"

"It will be useful for the purposes of this lesson. I was about to ask you to gather your anger together—as well as other negative emotions, such as fear—and you have already accomplished this." He gave his student a smile. "Well done, Caligosto."

Loboto's mouth was now hanging open, his head tipping to one side. "...Huh?" he said, the utterance sounding vaguely like a dazed goose.

"Hang onto that anger—it will be useful for later."

"Oh...kay..." Caligosto looked away, scratching his head just beneath his shower cap. His loupes were now looking down at the floor, as though searching for something he'd lost.

"In order to learn this technique, we must control those negative emotions, concentrate them, and release them... as firepower." Sasha paused briefly to glance back at Caligosto, who was for once focusing on him. But upon realizing he was being observed, his student snapped his head in another direction, as though suddenly very interested in the faint neon patterns in the distance. No matter; few students could resist his illustration. "Say something disgusting appears before you, so terrible and repulsive that it simply must die."

Just as Sasha prepared to step on the hidden button, Caligosto blurted out: "Like a terrible criminal defense attorney?"

Sasha paused. "No, Caligosto. Killing people is frowned upon here."

"Hmph!" Loboto crossed his arms, his fingers tapping irritably against his prosthesis.

"I had been thinking something more along the lines of..." Sasha pressed his foot down on the floor, activating a triangular button. A distance off, a circular panel opened, and the embodiment of all things tacky and awful shot up out of the cube: a bootleg Tiffany lamp. With an only slightly exaggerated step back, he shielded his face with his arm. "Agh."

"Oh, my dad had one of those in his office," Loboto remarked absently.

"It's too tacky and disgusting to even set eyes upon... but,"—he drew his arm away from his face—"I can use those feelings of disgust to my advantage. I control them, focus them..." With exaggerated motions he moved his right hand to his temple. "Concentrate, and... release!"

A blue bolt of psychic energy fired from his forehead and directly at the lamp before him, shattering it.

"And the world is a better place," he finished, flipping his hair back and turning to face his student. But instead of finding him in awe of the power on display, he found him with his arms still crossed, his head tipped to one side and brow furrowed.

"I could do that."

"Very well." With another stomp of his foot, Sasha activated the mechanism beneath them, which released another lamp. "Give it a try, Cali—"

Before he could finish talking, Caligosto stormed up to the lamp, and, with one swift kick, shattered it. "There!" He looked back at Sasha, his hands on his hips. "See?"

...Right. He should have seen that coming. "Well, you did indeed destroy that poorly-constructed monstrosity, but your methods are... not quite what I had in mind."

"Guess you need to try thinking outside the box, then, celery-man!"

He elected to ignore that comment, instead summoning another lamp. "Let's try this agai—"

SMASH.

Loboto stood with his heel planted where the lamp had been standing, his mismatched loupes staring directly into Sasha's glasses.

Sasha stared right back, keeping his mounting frustration from showing on his face. "...Have you forgotten, Caligosto, what lesson you are here to learn?"

"No, but apparently you psychics forget that you can break a lamp with something other than silly psychic powers!" his student retorted.

"The lamp is merely a target for you to practice your psi-blast on." He pressed down on the button once again. "Now, if you—"

SMASH.

The fragments of the mental object faded behind Loboto, whose eyes never left Sasha.

In turn, Sasha continued to stare back, this time saying nothing as he produced yet another lamp, which Loboto then kicked up into the air, never looking away even as it smashed against the floor. Another lamp was summoned and subsequently smashed, this time with Loboto's opposite leg. Not wasting a beat, Sasha stomped the button repeatedly, and his student smashed each lamp the second they appeared, even when he had them summoned to slightly different locations. Loboto was practically dancing—no, he was dancing, every few steps punctuated with the smash of a newly-summoned mental bootleg. All the while, his gaze never left Sasha, at least partially (one loupe occasionally twitching off to the side to ascertain the position of the next target).

Ridiculous. This was absolutely ridiculous. He'd taught multiple students previously, the majority of them much younger than Loboto. There was no reason he couldn't keep this under control—

Control. That was it.

He ceased stomping on the button, watching Loboto all the while. While his student continued to stare back defiantly, Sasha did not miss the brief look of consternation on his face. With an exaggerated motion he raised up his leg, meanwhile gathering his frustration together in his mind, compressing it and subtly lifting his hand toward his temple.

Loboto noticed the movement of his leg, and when Sasha stomped on the button, he grinned.

But instead of the lamp appearing within Loboto's reach, it jumped up at the far edge of the cube. Before Loboto had time to react, Sasha released his psi-blast, shattering the target before his pupil had time to react.

"Wh—hey!" Caligosto cried, whirling around to stare at the smoldering patch on the floor. "I thought I was supposed to break that!"

"Indeed you were," Sasha replied, relaxing his shoulders. "But there will be moments, much like that one, during which time is of the essence, or when you cannot get close to your target, and thus must attack from a distance." He eased his foot onto the button again, bringing up another lamp a distance off from Loboto. "Shall we try again?"

Loboto glared at the target. "Pshhbbttt... fine!" Gritting his teeth, he put his claw toward his temple, hunching down slightly.

Approaching his student, Sasha went on, "Remember, focus on your anger, concentrate..."

"It'd be a lot easier to do that without you yammerin' at me," Caligosto spat, brow furrowing as he focused on the lamp. His loupes glowed brighter, his claw shook, and with a low growl that escalated into a shout, he released a purple blast of psychic energy. Rather than taking the form of a beam, however, it scattered erratically in front of him, and Loboto staggered back from the force of it.

Finally they were getting somewhere. "Well done, Caligosto! That was a good attempt." Stepping up to the lamp, Sasha noticed the fading scorch marks where the bolts of energy had hit the floor, barely missing their target. "You've figured out the release, which is a good start, but you still lack control." He turned to face his pupil once more. "Fortunately that is what we—"

He paused.

Loboto was hunched forward, his eyes tipped downward, his left hand pressed against his forehead. His breathing was slow and heavy, as though he'd just run for some distance.

"Are you all right?" Sasha asked, his tone immediately softening. He'd taught a number of his students and seen a variety of reactions to a first psi-blast attempt, but they had always been positive. It was a release of negative energy, after all, and typically led to elation, aside from when one was in combat, of course. For a moment he pondered what had happened here when it struck him that Raz, Morry, and Milla had all reported that Caligosto seemed to get headaches from use of his psychic powers. "Are you in pain?"

"What?" Finally Caligosto looked up, brow furrowed in consternation. "No! I mean, yes, that recoil is terrible. But that's not..." He trailed off into confused, lilted mumbling, his eyes searching the floor.

Sasha opened his mouth to point out that psi-blasts didn't have recoil, but he stopped himself; that didn't appear to be the part that was bothering his pupil. Frowning, he stepped closer. "What seems to be the problem?"

Caligosto massaged his forehead. "That felt... sorta..." He hesitated, mumbling again for a moment before speaking up, "...familiar...?"

"Familiar?" Lowering his head, Sasha put a hand to his chin. "You would have had to use it before, then, but psi-blast typically must be taught." He tipped his head back, regarding the glowing patterns decorating the sky of his world. "Of course, there are rare cases in which a psychic can use it before they are properly taught, such as when they are born with a proficiency in it—again, a rarity—or... well." Turning away, he frowned. "...During moments of serious danger, when the mind is at a heightened point of distress. Fear and other negative emotions will typically be in abundance, then, and the mind may then act accordingly in order to protect itself, even if the user is unaware of what they are doing."

Not a particularly pleasant situation to think upon.

"But unless you fit one of those rare criteria," he went on, facing his student again, "I don't think you—"

Caligosto's knees were buckled and shaking, both of his hands tugging at the edges of his shower cap, his eyes dim and staring at nothing. His face had gone a few shades paler, and his chest was heaving rapidly.

Oh.

Heart hammering in his chest, Sasha hurried up to his side. "Caligosto, can you hear me?"

In response, Caligosto's breathing quickened in pace.

Scheiße.

Putting a hand to his own temple, Sasha reached out. Milla, I need your help. Caligosto is—

The message slammed against a barrier before it even finished sending.

Right, she'd gone to the psychoisolation chamber for meditation and probably wouldn't be out for another hour or two. Meanwhile, Caligosto had sunk lower, still breathing rapidly, and part of Sasha was glad that he wasn't in his student's mind—though perhaps fighting a Panic Attack would be easier than dealing with one the usual way.

Staring down at him, he ran through the options in his mind. His first thought was to pull out his tin of smelling salts and get Caligosto out of here, but exiting the mind that way tended to be jarring enough as it was, and that could potentially make the issue worse. He could contact Raz, but he was still likely busy, and asking a child for help when a grown man was having a panic attack did not sit right with him.

But how on earth was he supposed to deal with it, then?

By this point Caligosto was seated on the floor, curled up on himself, his body trembling and his breathing not showing any signs of slowing.

Massaging his forehead, Sasha considered a few more options. Smoking typically helped him when he was stressed, but Caligosto likely wasn't in any frame of mind to accept a cigarette, even a mental one that bypassed the negative physical effects. They were nice to have in his—

Sasha raised his head, his eyes widening. There was no guarantee it would work, but... he stooped down to his student's side. "Caligosto, I'm going to move you to a safe location." It wasn't entirely a lie—he had been holding back his personal Censors from this area for the time being, but they never appeared in the other location at all, and perhaps letting his student know that he would be in a safer place would help put his mind at ease. "Hold on."

Lifting Caligosto into a gentle TK grip, Sasha opened a hidden door in mid-air, which bathed the two of them in a bright orange light. He stepped through the opening, easing Caligosto in behind him before TKing the door shut. His student seemed unaffected thus far, still breathing heavily as he was held off the ground, and Sasha looked around the room as he debated where to place him.

In sharp contrast to the rest of his immaculate mind, this room featured much brighter colors, with bright orange walls against a plush carpet with patterns that had been out of style for several years now. A coffee table with a number of speculative fiction novels (as well as, he noticed, a few comic books—those were new) and a few ash trays sat between a couple armchairs, the right-hand one sporting a large plush rabbit, while a distance off hovered a screen and VHS player that wouldn't have looked out of place in the workshop across the quarry. Green potted plants decorated the corners of the room, while pictures of distant cities (and a single framed picture of bacon) adorned the walls. A small table off to one side featured an old photograph next to an actual Tiffany lamp.

Nodding, Sasha sat in one of the chairs, and deposited Caligosto into the other chair, settling him next to the plush rabbit.

Immediately Loboto jolted back to life, letting out a wild gasp and gripping both arms of the chair. His loupes swiveled around to take in the room. He was still breathing heavily, but he was aware of his surroundings, so that was an improvement. "Wh... wh..."

"Relax," Sasha said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs. "Try to slow your breathing. You're still in my mind, and you're perfectly safe here in this room."

Caligosto was still trembling, but he did as instructed, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out. His grip on the sides of the chair loosened, and he started to draw his arms closer to himself, leaving Sasha concerned that he would curl up on himself again. But the second Caligosto's hand touched the plush rabbit at his side, he picked it up and wrapped himself around it, hugging it to his chest and burying his face into it.

Not the reaction Sasha had expected, but the plush toy was aiding remarkably in calming his student; he would have to thank Morry later for inspiring it.

While he waited for Caligosto to calm down, he TK'd over one of the paperback books on the table, absently retrieving a cigarette and lighting it. After a few moments, he heard Caligosto's shaky voice:

"Th-this is... a strange therapy session."

Looking up, he found Caligosto staring back at him in confusion, and Sasha raised the rim of one side of his glasses. "It's not a therapy session. We were in the middle of a psi-blast training lesson."

"...Were we?" Loboto's brows furrowed, his loupes twitching left and right. "Oh. ...Did I... learn it?"

"No. You had a panic attack."

Caligosto's eyes searched the middle distance for a moment before the memory dawned upon him again. His brows raised, his face growing pale, and he abruptly wrapped himself around the plush rabbit once more.

Sighing, Sasha returned to his book, his eyes skimming the pages of a novel that was even more worn-out in its original physical form. It was another few minutes before Caligosto spoke up again:

"You're not asking me anything."

"No." TKing the book away, he glanced back at Loboto, who was eyeing him from behind the plush rabbit, his loupes poking out between the toy's floppy ears. "Do you want me to?"

Caligosto's lights went a shade dimmer as his loupes flicked off to the right. One loupe knocked against the ear of the plush rabbit and retracted slightly like a snail's eye.

"Then I won't." Sasha took a drag from his cigarette, letting it out through his nose. "If you feel calm enough, we can resume the lesson."

Caligosto ducked behind the plush again, one hand tugging on his cap as he muttered to himself.

"Then we'll wait a bit longer. Take your time."

They resumed sitting in relative silence, other than Loboto's intermittent, incoherent muttering. After another few minutes had passed, Loboto mumbled something louder and a bit clearer: "H-he made it come back."

"Hm?" Sasha TK'd his cigarette butt over to one of the ashtrays. "Who made what come back?"

Caligosto hesitated. "...Raz."

Raising a brow, Sasha sat up straighter in his chair. During the few weeks Loboto had been training, he'd never heard him say anything negative against Razputin. "Is this related to when Agent Aquato entered your mind?"

His grip around the plush rabbit tightened. "I buried it," he choked out. "I didn't want to remember it."

Ah, a memory vault. That would explain it. "Is that what caused your... episode?"

Caligosto did not answer, and his breathing grew quicker.

Sasha scooted forward in his chair. "Caligosto, you do not need to speak about this if it is causing you distress."

"Doesn't—" he croaked out between gasps. "Doesn't matter—still there—"

Sighing, Sasha retrieved another cigarette and TK'd it out toward Caligosto.

Glancing out from behind the plush rabbit, Loboto spotted the offering and reeled back, brow furrowed and tongue stuck out between his teeth. "What?! Egh!" he cried, batting it out of the air like a gnat. "Do you know how bad those are for your teeth?"

Without looking away from his student, Sasha dismissed the discarded mental object and bit back the urge to inform him that "no thank you" was a more appropriate answer, and that a cigarette smoked in a mental world would have no impact on his dental health. "It was merely a suggestion," he replied.

Loboto stared at him a moment longer, his loupes pulled back, before he eased himself back into the chair, staring down at the plush. He turned it to face him, touching the bottom of its head with the smooth side of his claw to lift up the face, as though he were addressing the rabbit rather than Sasha. "...I had some... bad clients, back in the day."

Sasha nodded. "You worked for a number of our enemies."

Caligosto sputtered, waving a hand at him while still watching the rabbit. "I know that! I mean they were..." Again he hesitated, bringing his hand back to the plush. "...bad... to me. Ill-tempered, looking for loopholes to get out of payment, and... other things."

Humming in interest, Sasha leaned back in his chair again. "Bad in such a way that your mind reacted to defend itself?"

Loboto's loupes stared down into the button eyes sewn onto the rabbit. "I was late with a client... and he was angry with me. But—" He shook his head, gripping the rabbit a bit too hard. "He wasn't my only patient! Juggling clients is a pain, and you've got to be more patient when there's more than one patient in the office! But... some people don't care for the proper art of dentistry..."

Sasha remained silent, his glasses narrowing as he listened.

"He... didn't like... that I was late." His gaze grew more unfocused, more distant, and he smiled unhappily. "Angrier than a patient with an ill-fitted veneer, heh!"

"And his anger caused him to attack you."

"Oh, it wasn't an attack." Slowly Caligosto's loupes tipped back upward, facing Sasha, though not really seeing him, as he grinned even wider. "It was a surgery!"

Sasha nodded.

And then the meaning hit him.

The warmth of the room faded, and his stomach plunged. Loboto's eyes remained fixed on him, his mouth still stretched in a grin, the red and green gaze and yellow smile all too bright against the dark implications the man had uttered. "...A surgery," he repeated, his voice distant.

"Yes. A necessary one, or so he told me. One in which I would learn a valuable lesson." Caligosto's own voice was also slightly off, as though his mind was off elsewhere, leaving both his body and his mental projection behind. "Funny, I don't remember what the lesson was! But I didn't want to learn it. I wasn't big on college education, hah!"

Sasha wondered if Caligosto was aware of what he was saying. He suspected not.

"Was a strange lesson, too. He grabbed me with a psychic hand, and grabbed my arm, too, like this!"

He swung out his prosthetic arm off to his side, and Sasha felt the blood drain from his face as he realized where this was going.

"And then he had a bone saw! Have you used one? I have! Fascinating tool, excellent for the messier bits of dentistry, but I didn't want it used on me—and BANG!" His whole body jerked backward, slamming against the back of the chair, his loupes spinning. "It went flying! Wooooo!" He waved his left hand to indicate a sailing motion. "But then it came right back. And that client—I couldn't see him for all the shiny sparkling stars in my eyes, but he was absolutely livid! And that fancy instrument—its teeth bit right through—"

"Enough!" Sasha cried, standing abruptly.

Loboto gave a start, scrambling to grab the plush rabbit again. Gone was the distant smile, and his eyes were locked onto Sasha, his brows raised.

Slowly Sasha realized that his fists were clenched at his side, and he was glaring at Loboto. Exhaling, he loosened his stance and put a hand to his forehead. "Sorry," he said quietly, shutting his eyes as he turned this new information over in his mind.

During his time in the Psychonauts, he'd seen a lot of things, some worse than others. He'd read the minds of others—with more care than he had as a child—and found things both fascinating and disturbing. He'd entered the minds of others, uncovering their memories, both good and bad. But much of that had been during missions, when he was prepared to witness such things. While his job revolved around helping others, one had to employ a certain amount of detachment to keep from becoming overwhelmed.

He had not made such preparations today.

"That was an inappropriate response," Sasha went on, brushing his hair back and taking his seat.

"Oh, I get it," Caligosto went on, tipping his head. That same distant, unhappy grin returned. "Not everyone has the stomach for this line of work. Buuuut it turned out all right in the end!" Holding out his right arm dramatically, he flexed his claws and, with his left hand, grasped just below them. "I've got this now, complete with a pepper grinder! ...Well, no pepper anymore, but I'll figure something out! Might be able to retrofit some dental tools into this thing..." He let his prosthetic arm go and turned it this way and that. "Not a bad deal, don't you think?"

Sasha stared at him for a long while, his arms resting on his knees. "The faintest memory of what led to your obtaining it plunged you into a panic attack."

Caligosto balked, his face turning a shade paler, before he smiled and waved a dismissive claw. "Psssshaw! Let's just forget that whole thing happened."

"On the contrary," Sasha said, "I believe we should get back to our lesson."

Before Caligosto had time to protest, a door spontaneously opened within the seat of his chair, and he yelped, dropping through it. A similar door opened beneath Sasha's feet, and he stood, levitating calmly through the portal and out of the sitting room.

The other side of Loboto's door opened perpendicular to the floor, the gravity shift causing him to stumble forward rather than drop straight downward, while Sasha merely continued levitating downward until his feet touched the ground. The doors snapped shut of their own accord, leaving the two of them back on the same face of the cube they'd been on before.

"Wh-what was that for?" Caligosto stammered, looking around at the shapes floating in the sky. His hands grasped absently as he did so, and he looked down, seeming to notice he was no longer holding the plush rabbit. Growling, he crossed his arms tightly against his chest. "That other room was cozy."

"I'm not here to put you in your comfort zone, Caligosto," Sasha said, strolling closer to him. "I am here to help you step out of it, to learn something new."

Loboto's loupes twitched left and right as he studied Sasha's face. "No." His lower lip stuck outward in a pout. "I don't wanna!"

"You wish to go back on your word and cease training under the Psychonauts?"

"No!" Loboto grit his teeth, pointing an accusing claw in Sasha's face. "I don't wanna quit training. I just don't wanna do your silly training! I don't gotta shoot stuff with my brain—I can just..." He drew his claw back, fiddling with it and mumbling. "Wonder if I can stick a pistol in this thing..."

Sasha drew in a breath, looking down at the patterned floor. "Very well. If you do not wish to resume psi-blast training, we can train in a different area."

Dropping his arms to his side, Loboto stared. "Wait, really?"

Looking up, Sasha nodded firmly. "Indeed." He maintained eye contact with his student for a moment before resuming, "I want you to demonstrate your skill in levitation."

Caligosto balked, stepping back and looking away. "Uhh..."

"You've been training with Agent Vodello, so presumably you know how to summon a levitation ball. Go on."

Grumbling, Loboto stared down at his feet. "...All right," he said, and his eye-lights flared as he concentrated. It took several seconds, but finally he bounced up about a foot into the air, held up by a psychic fishbowl beneath him, complete with a betta fish swimming within. It lasted for a second and a half before it began to waver, then popped, sending Loboto falling heavily back onto the floor. He did not look up. "...Happy?" he muttered.

Just as Milla had told him. Sasha put a hand to his chin. "Did Agent Vodello explain why you might be struggling with this?"

Caligosto tapped his prosthetic arm with his fingertips. "A bunch of touchy-feely mumbo-jumbo about letting negative thoughts weigh me down." His claws and teeth clenched. "What's she want me to do about it? Go to therapy?"

Tipping his head to one side, Sasha hummed. "That could be arranged, but I can offer you a more immediate solution."

Caligosto's head snapped up. "Really? What's that?"

"Resuming our psi-blast lesson."

With a tremendous groan, Loboto tossed his head back. "You and your stupid psi-blasts!"

"It is the lesson you came here to learn to begin with."

Loboto spun around, then began storming away, going off in a singsong voice, "Silly stupid psi-blasts slung sloppily around the square—"

"Do you not remember, Caligosto, what powers a psi-blast?"

"Yeah, yeah, it was your anger and everything. I got that part," Loboto muttered. He stopped walking, his head tipped up to stare at the patterns overhead, his loupes locking onto one and watching it drift through the mindscape.

"Yes, and only part of it," Sasha went on, stepping closer to him. "For it is more than just anger that can power a psi-blast—it is all negative emotions, including fear."

Loboto's shoulders went tense. "I'm not a sissy!"

"I made no implication that you were. Everyone has fear within them, and often possesses an abundance of it shortly after surviving a traumatic experience. This is natural, and it is not a weakness. And as a psychic, you can use it as a strength." He paused for a moment to let that sink in, watching as Caligosto lowered his head, his loupes twitching left and right, searching. "Paradoxically, your trauma—and therefore the fear related to that trauma—is tied in part to psi-blasts themselves. While this is a hurdle, I do not believe it is insurmountable."

"No!" Loboto snapped, taking a side-step away from Sasha and glaring at him. "You can think whatever mumbo-jumbo you want, but I'm not doing this stupid lesson for you!"

"Then..." Sighing quietly, Sasha looked down at the ground for a moment before looking Caligosto in the eyes. "Perhaps do it for yourself?"

Caligosto's furrowed brows knit in confusion. "Eh?"

"Negative emotions can be released through a number of outlets, but psi-blasts are a quick and powerful one that can benefit the user."

Once again, Caligosto stared down at the floor, humming to himself as his loupes searched the patterns for answers they would not yield.

When no further response came, Sasha went on, his voice softening: "I know you're frightened, but I believe this will help you."

Loboto frowned, glaring at the floor. "Oh, sure. I'm sure this is because you think it'll help, and not 'cuz you've got some superior breathing down your neck to teach me this stuff."

"I don't," Sasha replied, and Caligosto looked up in surprise. "Teaching you to psi-blast was entirely optional on my part. I was in no way required to give this lesson."

His student's mouth hung open, his eyes unfocused in an expression of sheer bafflement. It did not last long, as his face scrunched up in fury, his yellow teeth bared as he lunged forward, pointing a claw in Sasha's face. "Why?!" he snapped, his eyes searching as Sasha took a startled step back. He went on, too fast for Sasha to interrupt: "What's in this for you? D'you get a kick out of pushing me around or something? Wasn't enough to have me psychically strapped to that table and ask me questions until my brain rotted out, so now you gotta trap me in your mind for this—?!"

"You are not trapped," Sasha said, quickly and firmly. "I know for a fact that Razputin delivered you a container of smelling salts. If you have misplaced it and you wish to leave, you need only tell me, and I will eject you from my mind immediately. Do you wish to leave?"

Lowering his claw, Caligosto continued to stare him in the eye.

After waiting a moment longer, Sasha breathed out through his nose, letting out the tension he was holding with it and dropping his shoulders. "We may not have... gotten along previously," he admitted. "I do not regret keeping you detained and interrogating you, as that was done purely due to a time-sensitive mission. Lives were at stake. But even then, your safety was important, and that part has not changed." He looked up at the sky overhead, at its precise patterns and colors. "Unlike the physical world, this world is under my complete control, and I can make sure it is a safe environment for you to learn in. As well..." Finally he looked back at Loboto, who was now somewhat hunched, his arms crossed and his expression uncertain. Sasha's own face softened. "I want to help you, Caligosto. Keeping negative feelings built up within, with no safe release, is... unbearable. Dangerous."

Caligosto looked back up at him, tilting his head. "...Dangerous?"

Sasha looked aside; while something he had personal experience with, it was not something he liked to reflect on. "As a psychic, your emotions are in some ways entwined with your powers... and if you do not find safe, controlled ways to release your negative emotions... they can find ways to release on their own, in ways you will not like."

His student's brow furrowed, his loupes tipping down toward the floor again.

Meanwhile, Sasha shook his head and took a step closer. "I would not wish for you to deal with it alone."

Caligosto turned away for another moment, muttering to himself, then looked back at Sasha, brow furrowing again. "...Well?" he said, finally. "Are you going to show me how to do this, then, celery-man?"

Sasha raised a brow, but smiled nonetheless. "Yes, but I would ask you not to call me that again."

"Pshaw." Waving him off, Caligosto cast a glance around the face of the cube they stood upon. "So uh... lamp?"

"One moment." It didn't take long for Sasha to locate the button, and soon another hideous lamp appeared. "Now, last time you managed to fire a blast, but it lacked concentration. You must focus your feelings together in order to hit the target."

Caligosto clenched his claw close to his temple, his loupes darting over to Sasha and back to the lamp. "And how'm I supposed to do that?"

Humming, Sasha held his hands in front of himself as though cupping something spherical. "Picture your emotions as physical matter which you are packing into a ball."

"Ah!" Loboto perked up. "Like a filling stuffed in a cavity!"

"...Yes, if that helps."

Initially Caligosto smiled as he bent forward, preparing his stance, only for his face to go pale. He began to mumble incoherently, his loupes darting this way and that.

Sasha stepped closer to him. "You are safe here, Caligosto," he affirmed. "Do not let your fear overtake you. Use it instead to empower you."

Caligosto's breathing picked up, and he began to tremble.

As much as Sasha wanted to urge him further, he bit his tongue. "Should we try this another time?"

Caligosto growled, shaking his head and focusing on the lamp again. "No, no, no..."

"Very well." Keeping close to Caligosto, he turned his own gaze toward the lamp. "Then keep your focus on the target, concentrating your feelings..." He hesitated. "...Pack them into the cavity, if you will."

With an affirmative grunt, Loboto nodded.

"Concentrate... and release!"

A purple blast shot from Caligosto's head and struck the lamp, shattering it into pieces. He let out a cry, staggering back.

Meanwhile, Sasha brightened. "Well done, Caligosto!" He turned to face him again, only to frown when he found him hunched over, holding his head and shivering. "...Are you all right?"

Caligosto did not answer, only breathing heavily.

Sasha knelt near him. "You are safe. The man who hurt you is not here." When his student made no acknowledgment, Sasha looked away for a moment, thinking, before summoning a TK hand and resting it on Caligosto's shoulder.

Loboto started with a gasp, leaping upright and looking around frantically. Seeing the transparent blue hand on his shoulder, he stared at it in consternation. "...Oh," he said shortly. "Uh. Thanks." With that, he waved it off, and Sasha released it. Once it had faded, Loboto leaned forward, pressing the heel of his hand into his forehead, still panting. "D... dunno how you guys do this stuff," he muttered between breaths.

"Psi-blasts are not supposed to cause pain to the user," Sasha said. "As I understand it, this is a common issue for you?"

Caligosto managed a short nod.

"It may be due to the fact that you have not used your powers in some time," he remarked. "It may be a pain akin to a sore muscle, and if so, it will go away in time." Frowning, he looked away. "But given your... unique situation, it may be something that needs looking into."

Immediately Loboto grabbed either side of his shower cap, tugging it further down on his head.

It wasn't as though he were planning on carrying out a cranial examination right this moment, anyway. Shaking his head, he moved on: "Beyond your headache, how are you feeling?"

After a moment Caligosto let go of his cap, straightening his back and scratching the back of his head. "I dunno," he grunted. "Uh... okay?"

Sasha hummed. Not the response he was hoping for, but describing one's feelings wasn't always an easy process. "Are you feeling well enough to make another attempt?"

Sighing, Caligosto dropped his arms to his side. "Fine."

With another press of a button, Sasha summoned not one, but three more hideous bootleg Tiffany lamps, each worse than the last. Hearing a squawk of horror from his student, he shook his head. "Yes, they are unbearable, are they not?"

Maintaining eye contact with Sasha, Loboto swung his arms in the direction of the lamps. "You want me to blast three of them?!"

"Yes, in a specific order." Responding to his thought, the numbers 1, 2, and 3 appeared over different lamps. "This will test your aim."

Loboto grit his teeth, looking between the lamps and Sasha a few times.

"If this is too difficult for you to manage, or if it brings you too much pain, then we can try again at another date."

"Hhhnnnngg... fine!" After stomping a bit closer to the lamps, Caligosto clenched his claws near his temple again. "Packing into this cavity... so I can blast one into you," he muttered. With a growl, he fired a purple blast from his forehead at the lamp labeled 1, then at the next two in quick succession before doubling over.

"Excellent!" Sasha smiled as the fragments of the mental lamps disintegrated, but his smile faded when he turned back to his student, who was still doubled over, trembling and panting. "Was that too much?"

A shuddering sound came from Loboto's throat, his whole body shaking with the effort, and for a moment Sasha was worried that he was panicking again. But as it went on, Sasha realized that... no, it was not the sound of panic.

It was the sound of laughter.

It was quiet at first, but it gradually grew in force and volume as Loboto raised himself up, straightening his spine and finally tossing his head back, arms outstretched as his laugh turned near-maniacal.

In spite of himself, Sasha took a step back. This was... new. "Is... everything all right?"

Loboto's laughter ceased as he whirled around to face Sasha, his smile wide. "Never better!" he exclaimed. For a moment he faltered, his hand on his forehead as he looked aside. "My head is burning, but—!" And he straightened again, his face bright and grin fierce. "I feel fresh, like my teeth have just had the plaque scraped from the enamel!"

Ah, now that was the reaction he'd been hoping for. "Excellent. As I said before, the psi-blast—" Before he could finish, he had to jump back as Loboto swung his claw at him, evidently in an attempt to grasp him by the collar.

"Again!" Caligosto cried, a frantic giggle bubbling out of his throat. "Give me another target!"

"...Yes," Sasha said, allowing himself to relax. "We can proceed with the next part of the lesson, if you're so inclined."

"Oh, I am!" Loboto snapped his claws together with a menacing, metallic click.

Nodding, Sasha summoned a new device from the depths of the cube: a dial and a valve. With a psychic nudge, he moved the dial to 1, and the valve spat out a Censor. The mental figure landed on the ground with a startled no!

"Hey, I've seen those before," Caligosto remarked, bending down to get a closer look.

"This is a Censor. They're an integral part of any sane person's mind," Sasha said. "You may have seen them in Agent Vodello's mind, or perhaps Agent Oleander's." He paused. "I hope."

"Yeah. Seen 'em in my mind, too." Caligosto tilted his head as the Censor stepped closer to him. "Funny lookin' little—"

"No!" the Censor cried, and slammed its stamp into Loboto's face.

With an undignified snarl, Loboto staggered backward, straightening his back. Before Sasha could say another word, Loboto placed his claw against his temple and psi-blasted the Censor, leaving a smoldering mark in its wake, along with a blue orb of raw mental energy with a cross above it.

"Yes, they will attack you if you encounter them in others' minds, as you are a foreign entity," Sasha explained. "Fortunately, many of them can be easily disposed of via psi-blast, as you have seen."

"Not very good at their jobs if they're taken out so easily!" Caligosto said, rubbing his face where a red mark from the Censor's stamp was fading.

"It's not so easy if you're encountering a swarm of them, or one of the larger varieties." Noting that his student was looking around worriedly, he went on, "Though you're in no danger of that here. I have enough control over my Censors to keep them from swarming you, for the purposes of our training. As well, you'll want to absorb that mental energy it just converted to in order to keep your own up."

"Hrm, how do I...?" Caligosto crouched down, reaching out toward the raw energy, and gave a start as it absorbed into him. "Oh... huh."

Sasha gave a nod of satisfaction. "You're doing quite well for a beginner, Caligosto." Especially given that earlier reaction, he went on silently. But he paused; as he watched his student, he couldn't help but notice he was still subtly trembling, his face still a shade paler than it should be, his breathing still a bit labored, his loupes staring out into space. It wasn't much different from how he'd seen him a few weeks ago, when he lay atop Sasha's examination table, terrified that Sasha might uncover his client's identity and incur their wrath, no matter how much he tried to play off his worries as a joke. This time, though, it wasn't just fear he was trying and failing to conceal.

Of course, he should have known that this wouldn't be something he could overcome so easily. The psi-blasts were a temporary solution, not a magical erasure of trauma. But there must be something...

Pondering over this for a moment, an idea occurred to him, and he took a step closer to his student. "I was planning on proceeding with the lesson as normal," he began, and Caligosto started out of his spaced-out state, "but I'd like to try something a bit... different. This next part of the lesson may be unorthodox, but I believe it will help you."

"Yeah? What is it this time?" Loboto asked, one hand on his hip.

"This next part will require a bit of... vulnerability on your part."

Caligosto stiffened.

Not an encouraging response, but Sasha went on, "If you could allow me a moment to read your mind, I can provide you with a specialized training exercise."

At that, Loboto grinned, tugging down on his cap with one hand and waggling a claw in Sasha's face. "Ah-ah, that's not happening!"

"You're forgetting, Caligosto, that that cap of yours is not physically there. You are not physically here. You are a mental projection within my mind, and that barrier of yours means nothing here." Sasha held his hands behind his back. "Of course, you are not required to go through with this. I will not pry into your mind without your permission."

Looking down at the patterns on the floor, Caligosto hummed. "What sort of... specialization are we talking, here?"

"If you allow me to make a quick mind read, I can create a training exercise that is more specific to your current needs. It will enable you to progress further more rapidly." He let his student mull over that for a moment, then continued, "I will not pry into your mind any more than necessary for the purposes of this lesson. I will let you know, this will be significantly less invasive than the procedures you went through previously during your interrogation."

Caligosto's brow furrowed, and he did not look up.

"Of course, if you're happy with going through things at a slower pace—"

"Wait!" he cried, head shooting up, brows creased in worry. "Okay! I-I'll do it, but—" He shook his head, frowning. "But no funny stuff!"

"Of course not. Science is no laughing matter," Sasha replied with a smile. "Now, just give me a moment." With that, he shut his eyes and reached out, both literally and figuratively, until he could read Caligosto's thoughts.

Instinctively he darted past the surface level thoughts, leaving those to keep some amount of privacy to his student, and went straight for what he knew was bubbling just under the surface:

Fear of another panic attack. Pain. Terror. And... memories—memories being fought against, pushed back over and over again, buried under thought after thought.

Sasha pushed a bit further, weaving around the attempted mental barriers until he reached it. Immediately a vivid image flashed in his own mind, and he pulled away, opening his eyes.

Loboto stared at him tensely. "Are you gonna do something or what?"

Ah, good. "It's already done," he replied, lowering his hand. "I've gotten the information I need."

Immediately Caligosto reeled back, covering his head in his hands. "Eugh!" he cried, shuddering. "Sneaky spying psychics seeking sacred secrets...!"

"A patient in the hands of a skilled surgeon shouldn't even feel the blade, a fact I'm sure you're aware of," Sasha remarked. "I told you it wouldn't be overly-invasive, and I did exactly what I said I would."

Grunting, Caligosto crossed his arms. "So now what?"

For a moment, Sasha stood back, turning over the mental image he'd extracted. It was never easy to tell how true these sort of things were to life, but the more important part was that it was how the subject viewed or remembered what they had seen. He studied it for a few moments, frowning. "Now... I will have you face a challenge," he said, looking his student in the eye. "Though I must warn you that this may cause some level of distress."

"Pshawpffbbt!" Loboto waved a dismissive claw. "Those Censors don't scare me."

"This will not be a Censor," Sasha said, and when Caligosto opened his mouth to interject, he went on, "nor will it be another lamp. This time I will be giving you a challenge that will be much more personal."

Caligosto stared back at him, his brow starting to crease in concern.

Thinking it over a bit more, Sasha added, "Before we begin, I will remind you that I have full control over this mental world, as well as your experience. You need not worry about any significant harm coming to you."

"Y-you already told me that!" Loboto blurted out, though his trembling was becoming more apparent.

"Yes, but I feel it was important to remind you again, in order to reassure you—"

"This is beginning to have the opposite effect," Loboto said, deadpan, and Sasha raised the rim of one of his glasses.

"Very well. Don't say I didn't warn you." After walking a distance away, he dismissed the valve and dial, and brought up a black-and-white control panel, its dials, buttons, and levers patterned similarly to the surface of the cube they stood upon. He felt something spawn on another face of the cube, but dismissed the thought—likely a Censor seeking another outlet. With one hand on his temple, he cranked one of the unlabeled dials, typed a command onto the keyboard, and pulled a lever on the side of the panel. In response, there was a loud whirring from beneath them, and Sasha nodded in satisfaction. "Let us begin."

The whirring noise grew louder, and Caligosto took several steps back, looking around frantically. "What—what are you doing?" he stammered, only to yelp as the ground began to shake beneath him. Before he could ask another question, a circular part of the floor just a few feet away from him began to descend, and he stumbled away from it, loupes locked onto the spot.

And then the circular part of the floor began to rise... bringing with it a tall, imposing figure shrouded in shadow, only its eyes visible and glaring.

Caligosto shrieked, staggering back and holding up his arms in front of himself. "NO! NO! Wh-what are you doing here?! I already gave you what you wanted...!"

The figure said nothing, and Sasha leaned forward over the console to watch as the entity stepped closer.

"Remember, Caligosto, I'm in complete control of my mental world!" he called out, but his student hardly seemed to notice.

"Go away!" Caligosto wailed, swiping his claw in the direction of the mental entity, though he continued to back away from it. "I'm not doing business with you again!"

"Oh?" the figure replied, his voice a low growl. "Yet you were so eager to do business with me before..."

"I've learned my lesson! I'm—I'm not doing this again!" he cried, continuing to back up.

Well, this wasn't going exactly how he'd hoped. "Focus, Caligosto!" Sasha called, turning a couple controls on the console again. "Fight back!"

Yet Loboto found himself backed against the edge of the cube while the figure stalked even closer. He looked over his shoulder with a whine; while gravity would have simply shifted if he stepped further back, he didn't seem aware of that option.

Still the figure stalked closer. "You've learned your lesson, have you? Let's just see about that!" Without warning, the figure manifested a bright green TK hand.

Sasha froze. "Wait—"

The hand swiped at Loboto, who yelped and ducked away, managing to get himself out of the corner. The figure rounded on him.

And a bead of sweat rolled down the back of Sasha's neck as he glanced down at the controls, which his hands were no longer touching.

Meanwhile, Loboto held his arms up to shield his face as he stumbled backward yet again. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"I'm sorry, doctor, but it seems you need a refresher!" With a snarl, the figure reached out with his TK hand, which Caligosto, by some miracle, managed to return with a panicked psi-punch, a purple psychic claw appearing before him to block the blow. It faded half a second later.

"Don't worry, Caligosto!" Gritting his teeth, Sasha looked down at the console and frantically typed a few commands into it. "I've got it under control!" he called, even as the lights on the console flashed red and emitted a few warning beeps. Just as he was wondering why, a series of sparks shot out from the side of the console, and he stepped around to take a look. He let out a strangled gasp at the sight he beheld:

A panel of the machine had been stripped away, and a blue creature with bright red light bulbs jutting out of its back had stuck its head into the device. It was chomping at the wires within.

"I don't need a refresher, b-but you need a breath mint!" Loboto shouted, glaring back at the figure, only to gulp when the man's TK hand clenched and pulled back. The fist swung forward, and Caligosto ducked down, the top of his cap blowing back as the figure's psi-punch wooshed over his head. "Oops."

The figure's TK hand pulled back to his side. "I won't miss next time, doctor."

"You're supposed to," Sasha muttered as he telekinetically yanked the Bad Idea away from the console. It tore out a chunk of wires with it, a few bulbs on its back popping from the excess electricity. It seemed unconcerned, grinning wickedly around the wires in its teeth.

"L-look," Caligosto stammered, his voice taking a higher pitch. He held up his hands again. "I already gave you what you wanted! I did everything you asked! The appointment is over—you're free to go home!"

Meanwhile, Sasha’s frustration and panic rapidly left him in a concentrated blast of blue psychic energy, sending the Bad Idea flying out into oblivion with a squeal.

"No, doctor," the man replied, tilting his head. "I believe I have some payment due, and I'm going to exact that payment"—he pulled his hand back—"right"—and Loboto reeled back, preparing to duck under another punch—"NOW!"

The TK hand launched forward, but instead of punching, it snagged Loboto's prosthetic arm, yanking him up into the air with it.

Sasha's head snapped back toward the fight, and the blood drained from his face. Scheiße.

Now hanging from the mental figure's grip, Loboto went very, very still, the color draining from his own face, his eyes out of focus.

The figure gave a quiet laugh as he held him up a few inches higher off the ground. "There we are," he said, his voice a low rumble. "You've done such fine work with this fascinating new mechanism here." Slowly he turned him so Caligosto's left side was facing him. "I'm sure you'll do even better with the second one."

The hair stood on the back of Sasha's neck, and he charged out from around the wrecked console.

But in the same moment, something snapped.

Loboto's loupes, which had been staring out into space, suddenly flashed, his yellow teeth clenched, and with a jerk, his free hand pressed against his temple. Half a second later, a purple beam of psychic aggression blasted out from his forehead, striking the figure in the chest.

With an echoed cry, the figure staggered back, his TK hand disappearing, dropping Loboto. "Gah! When did you learn to—?!"

Before he could even finish talking, another purple psi-blast hit him, striking him directly in the stomach. Then another. And another, leaving the man collapsing to his knees.

As Loboto stomped closer, his face was no longer pale, rather shifting to a shade of scarlet. Slowly his mouth twisted into a grin. "Your appointment's over, but I've got time—I can spare a few minutes to teach you a lesson!" He reached down with his claws to grab the man by the throat, and hoisted him back up to his feet.

Sasha skidded to a halt several feet away, frozen as he listened to the strangled noises emitting from the mental figure.

Loboto held the man like that for a long moment, his brow furrowed and eyes locked onto him, his free hand still against his temple, all the while the figure gagged. A purple light was building just above Loboto's loupes, slowly growing brighter before suddenly blasting out directly into the man's face. The claws released him, and he collapsed to a heap on the floor. The shadows that composed him gradually drifted upward like strands of smoke from a snuffed candle, until finally he dissolved into nothing.

When the figure finally disappeared, Caligosto let out a sharp breath, hunching down with his hands on his knees, his head hanging, his chest slowly heaving.

Sasha looked over his shoulder, mentally dismissing the console (which sank into the floor) before looking back at his student, barely suppressing a shudder. After a moment of deliberation he took a few cautious steps closer, attempting what he hoped looked like a genuine smile. "That was quite the show, but you did remarkably w—"

Loboto's head snapped up, and he lunged at Sasha, grabbing him by the collar and hoisting him upward before he had time to react. "YOU!" he snarled, his red-and-green eyes burning into Sasha's shades. "YOU were the one doing that!"

Sasha winced, mentally reminding himself that the spittle that was flying from Loboto's mouth and hitting him in the face was not real. "Yes, I was, but—"

"SO YOU BROUGHT HIM BACK?!" Loboto screeched, shaking Sasha in his grip.

Immediately Sasha went to grab Loboto's arm to steady himself. "No, it was only—"

Loboto's eyes flashed as he flung Sasha to the ground.

"...an illusion," he wheezed, pushing himself up on his hands. Loboto was glaring back at him, eyes still burning in fury, but his prosthetic arm was clutched protectively close to his chest. It wasn't hard to figure out why. "...Sorry."

"Sorry you dove into my mind to dredge up an illusion of that?!" Loboto spat, pointing a claw at where the mental figure had once stood. "I've done some sick things, b-but I would—" He faltered, shuddering as he held his arms to his chest. "I wouldn't—I-I never—" Grinding his teeth, he rounded on Sasha again, this time gripping his own left shoulder a bit too tightly in his claws. The hitch in his voice betrayed the betrayal he felt: "Y-you had him try to...?!"

Rising to his feet, Sasha heaved a sigh and rubbed his forehead. "No. That was not my plan at all," he admitted, looking back at where the panel had been. "I had only meant to take that memory of yours and manifest it for a brief moment so you could attack it. But I never intended for it to attack you." He punctuated the word with a glance back at Caligosto, who stared at him intently, before looking away. "However, this was... not a technique I've employed many times before, and it seems it may have gone awry." He hesitated, a frown tugging at his features as he looked off in the direction where he had blasted the Bad Idea. "I... lost control of the mental figure early on in the exercise."

There was an extended silence, during which Sasha began to wonder if Caligosto had simply bailed from his mind; he wouldn't have blamed him. But his student's voice spoke up, quietly, "You lost control?"

When Sasha looked back, he found Caligosto staring back at him, his arms at his sides, his head slightly tilted. "Unfortunately," he replied. "It happens to the best of us."

Loboto continued to stare at him before shaking his head with a snort of disbelief. "Aren't you... psychics supposed to be... ehhhnnn... flawless?" He pulled back his lips, tapping gently at one of his own teeth. "Like a tooth with no plaque, no cavities?" Glancing away, he put his hands on his hips. "Especially you higher-ups in the Psychonauts..."

Something clicked in Sasha's mind, and he couldn't help the amused smile that crossed his face. "Razputin spoke highly of me, did he?"

Loupes snapping back in Sasha's direction, Caligosto gave him a look. "That's putting it mildly!"

Laughing, Sasha shook his head. "He means well, but no, we are flawed as anyone else... some more than others." Another thought occurred to him, and he shifted closer. "We don't expect perfection out of you, Caligosto. We only wish for you to try." When Loboto looked away, brow knitted in contemplation, Sasha went on, "Which, by the way, in spite of how everything got out of hand, you handled it quite well."

"I don't wanna go through that again," Caligosto said, eyeing him.

"No, of course not."

With a grunt, Loboto looked away again, but a slightly more genuine smile crossed his face. "I... do feel a little better, though." He looked down at his claws, clicking them together. "That felt good."

"That was the intent," Sasha said with a smile. "That having been said, I think that's enough of this lesson for now."

"Finally." Loboto slumped forward, his arms hanging limp at his side. "I'm beat."

Nodding, Sasha put a hand to his temple. "One moment..."

—-~~~---

The sounds of the lab came first, with the quiet beeps and chirps and whirs of the nearby machinery, before the rest of it came into view. Sasha glanced up just in time to see Loboto's mental projection fly back into his own body, and he reached up to snatch the Psycho-Portal off his head, sliding it into a pocket.

Meanwhile, Caligosto staggered, letting out a dizzy moan, and Sasha automatically reached out with TK to steady him, gently placing a hand on his back. Caligosto did not flinch away.

The whirring of the lab door caught their attention, and the two of them turned as Raz came bounding into the room on his levitation ball. "Hey guys! I finished that paperwork." He came to a stop before them, dismissing the lev ball. "Wait, you haven't started yet?"

"I'm afraid you're a little late, Razputin," Sasha replied. "We've just wrapped up our lesson."

"Aw, man!" Raz crossed his arms, but his disappointment was short-lived. "Maybe next time."

"I was just about to tell our friend Caligosto here that he should get some rest. He's had quite the mental workout." Nodding toward Loboto, Sasha rubbed his TK hand on his back before dismissing it.

Caligosto's loupes turned in Sasha's direction before glancing back down at Raz, though he said nothing.

"Got it! C'mon, Cali, let's get some psi-pops." With that, Raz reached up to grab Loboto's claw and happily led him toward the lab's exit.

Just as Sasha was about to remind Raz that rest included actually sleeping, not consuming candy, a voice rang through his mind: Hello, darling! I hope I'm not interrupting anything?

No, I've just concluded the lesson.

That's wonderful! How did it go?

Sasha hesitated, thinking over everything that had happened. It had all been so... chaotic, and it had gotten a little out of hand. He hated to say as much, but it was the truth.

"So how'd your lesson with Sasha go?" came Raz's eager voice from just outside the lab, and Sasha glanced toward the lab's exit in interest. Unfortunately they were already out of view, but he could still hear Loboto's reply:

"Well... I learned how to do this."

Panic rushed through Sasha's chest for the briefest of moments before he registered the wobbly hum of a levitation ball manifesting. It remained for several moments before he could hear a distinct pop.

"Woah!" Raz cried. "But—wait, wasn't your lesson about psi-blasts?"

"Yep!"

"...Huh."

A smile crossed Sasha's face, and he shook his head. All things considered… I think it went well.

#sasha nein #caligosto loboto #psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #razputin aquato #milla vodello #fanfic #my art #my writing

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lordoftherazzles · 1 year

Text

I can’t believe we’re at 2023!! What a year it’s been...both good and bad. First and foremost, I want to say thank you to my followers, readers, mutuals, friends, whoever you are - thank you. I couldn’t have made it through this year without you!

I did this last year and I wanted to do it again with a few added/removed questions, but I feel like we all need a little moment to celebrate our successes and accomplishments, so here’s mine under the cut!

Fandom(s) written for: The Hobbit, Our Flag Means Death Pairings written for: Bilbo/Thorin, Ed/Stede Number of works (total): 20 How many of those are completed?: 11 Word count (prev year): 241,178 Word count (2022): 534,448 (293,270 more than last year, not counting tumblr drabbles) # of WIPs: Enough?? Literally, I don’t know anymore loool. I have 7 active fics currently, 8 plot bunnies that have outlines/content written, and at least 15 sitting in the little brain-crockpot (aka my idea spreadsheet) waiting to be fleshed out.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

I’ll always say I wish I had posted more, there were some chunks in my year that really hit me hard and made writing nearly impossible, but looking at the actual numbers...posting almost 300k on ao3 this year? I can’t be mad at that. Here’s to hoping next year maybe I can break 300k!!

To put my year into perspective a little bit, I broke it down a little bit more!

Posted 37 chapters/updates

Posted 7 oneshots (2 within my King and Lionheart collection)

Posted 9 plot bunnies

Finished 2 big fics (6 chapters each)

This doesn’t count the drabbles I did for tumblr, and looking at it this way, I am definitely feeling pretty good about my 2022 - here’s to hoping 2023 is even better!!

Did you take any writing risks this year?

I feel like I did!!

Participated in TRSB

Created a fic writer’s blog to support other fic writers @fellowshipofthefics

Wrote for a new fandom (OFMD)

Hosted a new Hobbit Event via FOTFICS

Plot bunny follower event!! SO MANY IDEAS.

I did a lot of birthday gift writings this year

SO MANY COLLABS!!! And more to come...

Did you participate in any fandom events this year?

I took part in two! It was my first time participating in the Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang this year, and I was partnered with the ever delightful @mysandwichranaway! We came up with a very fun modern!royalty AU that I am very proud of. Sandy did some amazing artwork for it as well, and honestly, this was my first multichapter fic finished (6 chapters!) and was written in about 3 months. Not too bad! → Between Vices and Virtues

Fellowship of the Fics hosted a Hobbit event, An Unexpected Collaboration where I was partnered with @consultingpacha! I had a few plot bunnies stored away and one worked so well with our prompt, and it was nice to get one off the list! Pacha’s artwork continues to blow me away, and I’m very happy with this fic. The positive response has been overwhelming already! → The Night We Met

Both fics have potential sequels! We’ll see how time goes for me this next year.

Do you have any fanfic or general writing goals for the new year?

I’d like to finish projects first and foremost, as well as unleash some new ones. Alongside that though as a writer I’d like to explore new situations/tropes/vocabulary/smut and just expand on what I’m doing already. I’m hoping to put out more words than I did this year, and focus more on my fics rather than events (though I had a lot of fun!)

Next year is the year of Razzy fics - I have so many different plot bunnies I want to tackle! That in itself will help me expand my horizons.

From the past year of writing, what was your…

Longest story: May Your Forge Burn Bright (79,010 words)

Shortest story: Concerning Dwobbits (2,635 words)

Top 3 by kudos: Though I don’t like to think that stats say what is a good fic and what is a bad fic, sometimes I just can’t help but look at them. My current top 3 by kudos in no particular order!

→ Seasalt and Silk (OFMD) → May Your Forge Burn Bright → Dragonhearted

Best story of this year: I am picking this one purely on the fact that in 2 chapters, it’s blowing some stats out of the water, and we’re on the pirate train (thank you, OFMD) I am thoroughly impressed with the feedback and response from this fic already, and I am so excited to continue it! It’s going to be a fun ride! → As The Tide Turns

Personal favorite of 2022: My first collab project, and with my beloved @stardryad-random!! Honestly, this story feels so original even though it has head nods to other forms of media, and it just took on a life of its own. This one will also finish out in 2023!! So be on the lookout for more updates from both myself and Star! → When Darkness Shines Brightest

Most fun to write: I think this one is a tie. I feel like I have the most genuine happy-crackshit-fun when writing two of my modern AUs that have been around for a while, both for completely different reasons. First there’s the band AU, there’s just something about a slice of life journey featuring music and books (which are two of my favorite things) that really touches my heart. Then there’s the real crackshit fic, my WWDITS inspired vampire fic, where I can literally put the stupidest ideas and it just...works, somehow. It still has a plot, I promise!! I feel like the readers have fun with these fics as well! → Bookbinder//Songwriter → Where The Shadows Lie

Most challenging to write: I think every fic is going to be challenging in some way, but the one that springs to mind (which is why it was delayed so much) is Dragonhearted. The latest update was a bit chaotic. Lots of characters, lots of fighting, and it was very important for me to ensure it was clear to the reader as to what was going on. Battle scenes aren’t something I’m overly confident in yet, but this made me figure it out pretty quickly (or slowly, actually). → Dragonhearted

Fic I’m proudest of writing: Honestly, this is the year of events (yes, even just two) and I am insanely proud of both of them. They may not be “big behemoth fics” by any means, but considering they both have decent word counts and I did them in 1-3 months a piece, I’m pretty grateful and have every reason to be proud! → Between Vices and Virtues → The Night We Met

Story with the single sweetest moment? (Top 3)

Bookbinder//Songwriter (The Acorn Tattoo) - Bilbo has spent the evening with Bofur, Nori and Ori, preparing for Bree Bash with a more “rockified” look, which includes piercings and one tattoo. We have an “acorn” scene, a declaration of not needing to change for the other, and overall, it’s just very sweet.

Between Vices and Virtues (Gold and riches cannot compare to you) - Here we have a cliche train scene, but with a small twist. Thorin doesn’t make it to the station in time to catch Bilbo before he leaves for the Shire after a misunderstanding/falling out. He pulls strings to make the train come back so that he can right some wrongs that never should have happened in the first place.

(Take Me Back To) The Night We Met (Forget-me-nots) - Without spoiling too much as this is a newer fic, we see Thorin and Bilbo talking about a few keepsakes, such as a rune stone, some forget-me-nots, both gifted by the other. Give it a read!

Story with the most angsty moment? (Top 3)

When Darkness Shines Brightest (The Fall of Erebor) - This whole story takes the cake on “angsty” but this particular scene where Bilbo is whisked away into a shadow dream to witness for himself what happened to Erebor truly wins the angsty award.

May Your Forge Burn Bright (Mine Collapse) - Bilbo is caught in a mine collapse, and Thorin desperately tries to unbury his hobbit with doubt in his head and worry in his heart that it may be a body to be recovered.

Kurdu ‘abadaz (My sister’s sons) - Thorin gets to see Fili and Kili for the first time since Ravenhill. He’s smacked with the severity of their injuries, and naturally, blames himself.

Least popular fic: A one shot request that is a gen fic for Thorin, Fili, and Kili. I found it very fun and sweet to write, but it’s definitely showing me that ship fics get way more attention. → I’ll Keep You Safe

Biggest Disappointment: While there are always going to be highs and lows with writing, I am pretty disappointed in the response to my TRSB fic, which is one I am very proud of, and it just didn’t seem like there was the response I was looking for. I understand that the event was VERY Silm heavy, and probably should have altered my expectations, but I had wanted it to do better. Sandy and I both worked very hard on this Modern Royalty Bagginshield fic. I know modern!au can be a bit finicky with the fandom...but give it a chance!! → Between Vices and Virtues

Biggest Surprise: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Collaboration - honestly, this fic was a small nugget of a plot bunny after spotting some artwork some months ago, and I wanted to do a little short story based off of it. It blew up. It was a perfect prompt for Pacha and I’s collab, and it’s not even been out a month, and it’s SOOOO loved by the community??? I’ve never had a story with so many comments asking for a sequel. It’s overwhelming in the most unexpected, yet amazing, way! → The Night We Met

What can we expect in 2023?

Word Count: I almost hit 300k this year, so I want to surpass the 300k mark if possible!

Finishing Fics: I am determined to finish a few of my big fics such as ”Dragonhearted”, “May Your Forge Burn Bright”, and “When Darkness Shines Brightest”!

Starting Fics: Some of the plot bunnies are going to show up in 2023, you can check them out → here!

Collaborative Works: I would love to do more collabs with my fellow creators! (Stay on the look out, you just might see @sunnyrosewritesstuff and I working together soon enough.)

FOTFICS Participation/Drabbles: While I don’t really take requests anymore, I will be participating in more FOTFICS monthly challenges - which means taking suggestions from my followers <3

Positive Vibes Only: A more positive Razzy.

Now, to tie off my Year In Review, the ever lovely @i-did-not-mean-to tagged me in a fun little game to show off some of my favorite bits of work I’ve done this year.

Five works I'm proud of (tho I’m proud of them all)

When Darkness Shines Brightest

As The Tide Turns

Bookbinder//Songwriter

Dragonhearted

May Your Forge Burn Bright

Four new WIPs I am excited to release next year

Fuck Thy Neighbor (Accidental Marriage)

Led Only By The Stars (Space!AU)

Sweeter Than Honey (Modern!AU)

Heartstones (Soulmate!AU)

Top three improvements

I’ve improved in expanding my horizons to different tropes/Ideas I didn’t think I would touch before.

I do not check the stats regularly, and I feel a LOT better as a writer and just overall mentally.

My outlining/organization process has SIGNIFICANTLY improved this year, and it’s making my life a ton easier.

Top two resolutions

Finish some big fics!!!

Never compare myself to another author. There is only one of me, and my stories are unique to me and make me happy, that’s what matters.

(Honorary mention: I want to read more fics!!!)

Favorite line

This is an impossible question, but I threw an imaginary dart that landed on my pirate AU, so we gotta go with this one!

“What have we here? A stowaway, or a rat? I’ll give you this, you almost had it…but the secret to escaping somewhere quietly,” that blade tilted a bit, forcing Bilbo’s chin upwards as the man holding it crouched, knees bent to bring them near face to face, “is to be quiet.” (-> As The Tide Turns)

I picked this because....let’s be real, the sexual tension of this scene alone is just....yes. Bilbo’s chin tipped up with a sword, hell yeah.

#a year in review 2022 #raz in review #razzywrites #razzy's rambles #i can't wait to see what 2023 brings!#long post is long

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