#or maybe done a 3 by 3 set and they would've come out better

[hauntedhokage]

it would've been sweet

Past!Sae Itoshi/F!Reader, Oliver Aiku/F!Reader

word count: 12.8k (fuck, i’m so sorry)

summary: You would never come before soccer. 

But you let yourself pretend that he was spending time with you because wanted to, not just because you were around and he was bored.

warnings: angst, unrequited love, unprotected sex, sae is terrible at feelings, rin is better but still bad

note: this is not a love triangle fic. kinda jumps around from “present day” which is about 3-4 years after where we currently are in the manga, right after Sae leaves for Spain, to the start of the manga when the blue lock program started. I tried to make it obvious where time settings changed without labeling but i know it’s different perspective wise since i literally wrote it. This is also based on my own personal canon that Rin softens up a bit as he gets older and that he and Sae never make up. 

[ao3][ko-fi]

“What do you think?” The question has you looking up from the mirror to where your boyfriend stands, dressed up and clean shaven, which has you tilting your head. “Is it bad? I tried to match your dress, and-“

“No, baby, it looks great! Just don’t recognize you when you don’t look scruffy.”

“The rugged look gets all the ladies,” he comments, coming closer to place a gentle kiss to your forehead as you sigh. “I know you hate these things, but I appreciate you going so we can suffer together.”

“Yeah yeah,” you mumble playfully, earning yourself a kiss. “You just like seeing me dressed up.”

“That’s just a bonus. You look just as beautiful when you just wake up, wearing my jersey, or naked, or-“

“Alright, lover boy. We’re going to make the car wait too long.” Your scolding has him helping you to your feet, mindful of the heels you had on as he guides you out of the bedroom of the hotel suite. It was going to be a long night of talking to soccer players, soccer executives, and their guests about soccer - your least favorite thing to talk about in detail. 

You honestly hate soccer. 

It was the source of heartbreak, your first and only, and you let the stupid sport continue to contribute to your emotional pain. Maybe you’re a masochist; continuing to surround yourself with the sport despite loathing it entirely, dating a man who played professionally, and wanted you at all of the events he could get you to. 

Supporting your best friend as he traversed professional soccer while hating what it had done to both of you. What it did to his brother to cause both of you the worst emotional pain of your lives. 

There are times when you think about Itoshi Sae, mostly when he comes across your television before you change the channel. He was once your best friend, with a chance that there could’ve been more had he not gone to Spain. But you’d never come before his soccer career and, at thirteen years old you couldn’t dream of asking him to stay. Not for you. All of Japan would have crucified you for trying to hold their treasure back from the greatness that came with the world stage. 

But that didn’t stop you from wishing things could’ve been like they were before. When you were both happy and he actually seemed like he enjoyed soccer and you enjoyed watching him. Back when he had appreciated you and your support, back before he went to Spain all those years ago. 

Time passes, though. He made his choices, destroyed his relationship with both you and his younger brother like it was nothing to him. Switched to midfield, changed his dreams, acted like you meant nothing to him. He was still revered on the international stage, still loved by Japan, and deep down perhaps you still loved him too. But that wasn’t something you had time to think about, you had a life to worry about. 

He certainly wasn’t thinking about you, why put energy into thinking about him?

It was easier to just say that you hated soccer, even though both you and Rin knew what that statement actually meant: you hated Itoshi Sae. 

You knew you’d never come before soccer, but still you felt special that Sae would make time for you between his busy soccer schedule. Granted most of that time was spent in school or just a half an hour before or after school, but it was still time he made to spend with you , specifically. He didn’t talk to just anyone, but he talked to you. A perk of being his neighbor since you were five, you supposed. 

Recovery days from the strict training regimen spent either at his house or yours, meant to be studying for exams but instead taking turns watching videos on your phones. His were always related to soccer, insane hat tricks and compilations of the best strikers, while yours tended to be more on the funnier side or were cake decorating videos since he found those to be relaxing. 

You were at every match, cheering him and his brother on as they dominated the pitch and wishing the best for their careers. They loved soccer and loved playing together, Sae always telling you in private that he did see a future for himself and Rin in soccer at the national level. Playing for Japan as the best strikers in the world, exchanging passes until they got to the World Cup - hopefully Japan’s first so they could mark a huge claim in the history of Japanese soccer with one of them scoring the winning goal based on a pass from the other. 

Sae meant the world to you, but you always knew that you’d never come before soccer. But you wouldn’t want to, he deserved to chase his dream and you wanted to support him through that as you trusted he’d support you in yours. That’s what friends did. 

You loved Sae, and you felt deep down that he loved you too. But you’d never come before soccer. Especially not when he was recruited. Just thirteen years old, not even in high school yet, and he was going off to Spain. Japan’s Treasure, your treasure , and he was leaving you to go pursue his dream. As he should, and you don’t feel bad about it. 

After all, you knew you would never come before soccer. 

You didn’t go to high school alone, you had friends outside of Sae to hang out with, but you still felt so lonely. To go from talking to him every day, watching him play and practice with his brother, to just…nothing? It sucked. You still go to support Rin, watching his matches at the very least and tutoring him when he swallowed his pride and asked , but life without Sae felt empty and you hated it. 

“Have you heard from him?” You ask after a few months of radio silence from the elder Itoshi brother, and your heart drops when Rin shakes his head. “Oh, I guess he’s really busy then. I know he has to learn Spanish too, on top of practicing.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s just busy. He’ll call when he gets time.” Was all Rin could say, and you give your own nod of agreement before pointing out that he forgot to carry the four. “Wasn’t thinking.”

“You never do,” you tease, ruffling his hair and earning a startled “hey!” from the younger brother. “Always thinking about when you can go kick the ball around next, when you should be thinking about these entrance exams.”

“I know I’ll get the minimum score required to get into my school of choice. Soccer will carry me the rest of the way and then I won’t even need to worry about graduating.”

Always following in his brother’s footsteps, Rin was chasing his own dream that he shared with Sae. His optimism was inspiring and infectious, bringing a grin to your face before you redirect him to the practice questions you’d provided. For a kid so talented at catching the right angles to kick the ball and score, he sucked at geometry. Maybe he was better suited for physics. 

Rin joining you at the high school was nice, you felt better knowing that he wasn’t starting school alone, even if he was just as lonely as you were without his brother around. Sae was irreplaceable to both of you, and yet neither of you had heard a word from him - not even a text at Christmas or either of your birthdays. He’d been gone for about four years, and you still waited for him when you should’ve given up. Any sane person would’ve given up, but you still had a deep love for Sae. Whether that was as your friend or if you had genuine feelings for him, you’d never figured it out before he left, but you hoped distance truly made the heart grow fonder and he’d do something about the fact that he’d cut you and his brother off completely. 

And then you get the news you were waiting for. 

“He’s coming back soon,” Rin comments as you eat lunch together, on a bench under a tree where you always ate together. “Something to do with his passport is what my mom said, but he’ll be back in about a month.”

“I’m sure you’re excited to see him again,” you comment, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the thought of seeing him again. Sae coming home was huge, and you couldn’t wait to hear about what he’d gotten up to while in Spain. You’d watched almost every single one of his matches, even bought a jersey to wear while you watched him play. A long distance good luck charm is what you’d sent to him when it was delivered - a text that got no response from your best friend. 

The snow was falling when Itoshi Sae was meant to return. Out of respect for the family that missed the eldest son, you don’t stop by their home for a few days. When you saw Rin at school he was visibly upset, more closed off than he’d been just a week ago when he was practically vibrating with excitement at seeing his brother again. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask after school, watching as he adjusts his gym bag on his shoulder while you put your shoes back on. “You’re clearly upset, Rin.”

“He gave up on our dream. That’s all there is to it.” 

You don’t believe that, but you know better than to pry into Rin’s feelings. The fact that he said anything was enough, especially as it related to his relationship with Sae. It was just unfortunate that the brothers who were once so close now had an entire ocean between them, both physically and in their relationship, courtesy of Sae. 

‘Sae is in town again. My mom said he asked about you.’

It wasn’t unusual to get a text from Rin, Sae’s intent to put distance between him and anybody who might’ve loved him had brought you closer to the younger Itoshi brother and maintained that relationship even as he went pro. It was now Rin’s jerseys that you collected and wore as good luck charms, anything with Sae’s name tucked away in a box so you wouldn’t have to look at it since you couldn’t bring yourself to throw them away. Even the stupid notes you’d pass back and forth with him in school - you’d kept everything. 

‘Respectfully, I do not care’

‘You do though. I’m not stupid.’

‘You are, I remember tutoring you dummy’

That gets a thumbs down reaction from Rin, and you sigh when your phone lights up with Rin’s name and picture. He couldn’t leave well enough alone, it seemed. Neither could you, most days. 

“Rin, please let me pretend to not care,” you request before he can even attempt a pleasantry. You know why he was calling, and you didn’t want to bring up the feelings you were trying not to deal with. “I ask for very little of you aside from a discount on your merchandise and for you to tell your teammates I said hi and am currently single.”

“You’re fucking annoying, y’know that?”

“You tell me every day. Now what do you want, I’ve got exams to study for.”

“I’m also in town at my mom’s request. It’d be nice to see you.” There was another shoe that hadn’t yet dropped, you knew there was always another shoe when Rin was around. He didn’t like that being his reputation with you, but there was nothing he could do about it when he was…the way he was. Much better than when he was a teen, though, but still awful. “My mom said that Sae was also going to try to get a hold of you. But I wish he wouldn’t.”

There it was, the other shoe. 

“What happened to not giving a fuck about what he did?”

“You’re still not over him. Seeing him isn’t going to make that any better, no matter how hard you try to ignore it, and I don’t want him to hurt you.”

“Rin, it’s been like eight years, give me a little credit please? I don’t want to see him, so I won’t.” It should be that simple, Sae didn’t know where you lived, so he couldn’t hunt you down. You’re sure his mom might’ve told him where you were going to school and what you were studying, you always caught up at Rin’s big matches and when you were closer to home for the holidays. She always treated you well, and your continued closeness with Rin made her feel better about how her youngest son was doing emotionally. You were like her bonus daughter, Rin’s older sister figure, a member of the Itoshi family complete with Christmas gifts and calls on your birthday, which was fine since Sae was never home for those events anyway.                                                         

“But you’ll see me?”

“You’re buying lunch, Rinnie. Or maybe a nice dinner? Haven’t decided.” But you know how it’ll turn out. Rin sitting on the floor against your couch with some horror movie playing as he betrayed his diet for once with sodium rich takeout that he’d complain about eating in the morning. Rin was predictable, unlike his brother who had always surprised you.

You never told Rin that Sae had texted you on your last birthday. Wishing you another healthy year, standard greeting for a birthday. You agonized over it for six hours before finally deleting it so you wouldn’t have to look at it again, knowing that responding would open a door you didn’t think you wanted to go through. Maybe he got the memo, but you’re not sure that Sae ever got the memo despite how smart he was.

“You’re a brat. But I wanted to make sure you weren’t crying because his name came up.” He knows you too well and you hate it, but you do appreciate that he cares in his own rude way. 

“You’re such a jerk. I’ll see you when?” 

“Tomorrow, unless you’re busy.”

“Tomorrow is fine. I’ve got class but that’s in the morning.”

“See you at noon. I’ll pick you up.” And then he hangs up on you, never bothering for pleasantries like saying “goodbye”. Those few seconds are extra time he could spend in the day working on his dribbling, or something stupid like that. 

But unfortunately he’s right, the mention of Sae bothering to ask about you - having the nerve to want to see you - after almost ten years of silence was incredibly frustrating to the point where you can’t stop the tears from welling up or the dam from breaking so your tears could flow freely. Your notes were ruined, teardrops making the ink bleed on the paper which would make you need to redo the page. 

In another universe, the one where at some point he chose you , he’d be right there studying with you. You wouldn’t be crying over him again, you’d be at the very least happier. He’d be teasing you in his own dry way for putting off your studying, and for teasing his brother so much. You think that you’d be having much more fun in that world where Sae was with you and not married to a soccer ball. Maybe he would’ve married you instead?

But he’d never choose you over soccer. He’d never be the one who chose you over the pitch, that just wasn’t Itoshi Sae. Trying to think of a world where he put you first was stupid and a waste of your time. You had exams to study for.

You tried to avoid him while he was back after what he’d said to Rin. Renewing his passport is what his mother said, and you understood that to be a somewhat lengthy process so you knew he’d be around for a while. At least a week or two, maybe longer depending on his paperwork. 

But in all your effort to avoid him, you end up running right into him on your way home from a mall trip with your friends. Rin wasn’t around, he’d gone off to some soccer camp, leaving you to do things with other people and without him tagging along in the back so you wouldn’t have to walk home alone. 

If Rin had been there, you’re sure he would’ve clocked Sae and directed you down a different street. But Rin wasn’t there, and you’re face-to-face with Itoshi Sae while snow falls between you. It was cold, about as cold as his eyes when they met yours, and you want nothing more than to go home but you’re sure it’s not going to be that easy. Sae was never easy to deal with, even when you were friends. 

“Hey.”

“That’s it?” you ask, rolling your eyes when he shrugs. “You’re gone for four years with no contact and all you have to say is ‘hey’?” 

His expression doesn’t change, and you feel yourself only getting more frustrated at that. It shouldn’t be new to you, he’d always been on the drier side, but given the history that he chose to write - the chasm he’d put between you - you can’t help but be mad. 

“You still cry when you’re upset. That’s a habit you should try to break.” 

“You do not have the right to say anything to me about what I should or shouldn’t do, not after what you did.” That gets at least a change in expression, a glimpse of an emotion crossing his features as you adjust your gloves. But as soon as it’s there, it’s gone. He was always very good at masking his feelings. 

“You act like there was an obligation to keep in touch.”

“That’s a joke, right? We had been friends since we were five and you say there was no obligation to stay in touch ? I knew and understood that soccer was always your priority, but you could’ve at least sent a text . If you didn’t want me in your life anymore, all you had to do was say so and I wouldn’t have spent four years worrying about you.” Your voice gets softer as you speak, your eyes no longer able to meet his as you feel the geyser of emotion start to bubble up in your chest. “But you made it crystal clear, so I won’t waste any more of your time. I have to get home.”

“Let me walk you.” 

“I’d rather walk into traffic,” you retort, stepping around him so you can continue on your way home. “You don’t get to pretend to care just because you’re back in town. You’ll leave as soon as you can, I’m sure. You clearly were happier when you didn’t have to see me every day.”

“You’re impossible.” 

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Can you stop for a minute?” The request actually makes you stop, but you don’t turn to look at him. You can’t, not when you’ve been crying because he sucks as a human being. “I wanted to see you, when I didn’t have to.”

“You also hurt your brother when you didn’t have to . Did you come all the way back for that?”

“What happened between Rin and I is none of your business.”

“Then what happened in Spain that you came back like this? This isn’t you , Sae!” You have to look at him now, need him to see just what he’d done to you. Before he left he hated it when you cried, even if it was at a movie, but now he looks unfazed at the tears streaming down your face. Who was he now? Just some soccer machine? “I want my friend back.”

The conversation ends when Sae closes the distance between you. The kiss is harsh, needy, but exposed a truth in both of your actions and that truth was in experience. You both had been kissing other people, and you’re not sure how to feel about Sae trying to date. Hypocritical for sure, but could you be blamed?

“That doesn’t fix anything ,” you murmur when he pulls away, and he only sighs as he comments on how frustrating you were. “And I don’t forgive you for hurting Rin. I won’t ever forgive that.”

“It’s still none of your business.” 

“Just fucking walk me home.” At this point it’s best to give him what he wanted. Arguing with Sae wasn’t easy when you were kids, and it’s obvious that he’d become more difficult while he was away. 

You never told Rin that Sae kissed you that night. 

Rin had left for Blue Lock at that point, telling you that his new goal was to destroy Sae and you’d only nodded as you wished him luck. At that point you only understood it to be a potential recruiting session, with the expectation that he’d be back in a couple weeks. 

Instead he was gone for months, and you saw a lot of the elder Itoshi brother in the younger’s absence. You never told Rin about that either. 

Quiet evenings with Sae watching you study for classes he’d never have to take, his own book in his hands and letting you sit in slightly uncomfortable silence. You don’t ask about Spain, you don’t talk about soccer in general because you hate that he used his experience with soccer in Spain to hurt his brother. But it “wasn’t your place” to intervene in their sibling quarrel, so you leave it all alone. You tell yourself that you don’t care, but the way you care for Rin tells you that you needed to in order to protect him since he was like a younger brother to you. Even if you were trying to protect him from his older brother. 

You let Sae spend time with you, you let him take you to dinner and make tea for you, you ignore your parents' questions about why he was around after you’d spent so many nights crying over him. You didn’t know, but you knew that he’d hold your hand sometimes while you ate in private and always left you with a kiss on the cheek on your doorstep. Sometimes you exchange kisses that escalated into heavy makeout sessions on your bedroom floor, and other times you sit in silence while you work at your desk and he stretches on your floor.

It was everything you had wanted from Sae, but you knew that you were simply a placeholder and nothing more. He was only around to see what the Blue Lock Program could produce, to see if a half decent striker could rise up to represent Japan and make their soccer decent for once. Once his curiosity was satisfied or disappointed, he’d leave again since his passport had been renewed. You were just a way for him to pass the time while he waited for something interesting to happen. 

You would never come before soccer. 

But you let yourself pretend that he was spending time with you because wanted to, not just because you were around and he was bored. What hurt you more was the fact that you were okay with his selfishness, because it meant spending time with him almost as if he’d never left. It meant for some purpose he wanted to be with you . 

Until he didn’t want that. 

You never told anyone how Sae told you after the loss in the match against the Blue Lock Eleven that your relationship to Rin was holding his brother back. How Rin would never rise to meet his own goals when you were tying him down to you. How Sae himself knew you would hold him back and that he’d be going back to Europe to play for a decent team. The words you’d always feared he would say cut so deeply after the months you’d spent at each other’s sides, and that’s when it truly has set in that you were a convenience to Sae - someone he knew would always take him back despite the pain he caused you - someone he could use and throw away as he pleased.  

Rin never knew what Sae had told you while he was in Japan last, and it was for the best. Rin had felt defeated after that match, hearing that Sae was more interested in Isagi than his own brother who was working so hard to exceed his brother’s level of talent. Knowing that Sae had stomped all over your heart would only make Rin more homicidal in his play style, and he needed a break from additional emotional issues. 

And four years later you find yourself laying on your couch with Rin sitting on the floor in front of you, takeout container in his hand while you play with his hair. He’d doze off on the floor soon, the food coma kicking in and you’d finally look at your phone where a text from Sae sat waiting for a response. He’d sent it the night before, asking if he could see you while he was around. You think about what it would be like to have both brothers on the same page again, to have Sae spending time with you consistently, to be happy with them both in your life. 

But you know deep down that soccer would always come first to Sae. You can’t forget or forgive what he’d said to you four years ago, but maybe he’d actually apologize for how he’d treated you if you saw him? But was it even with seeing him if that wasn’t a guarantee? There wasn’t even a guarantee that it’d be a pleasant meeting, Sae just sucked like that. 

“You’re thinking too much,” Rin comments, tilting his head back against the couch cushion so he could look at you. “Oh, that’s the Sae face.”

“I do not have a ‘Sae face’.” Your retort is met with the familiar deadpan stare you often got from Rin when he thought your argument was stupid. He only sighs in return, and you try to adjust your expression to be less like whatever it was previously. “What does that even mean?”

“You look like someone kicked your dog, to start. You’re also crying.”

You were? Rin reaching up to wipe them away had you embarrassed, mumbling about allergies even though you both know that was a lie to save face when you didn’t need to do that for Rin. Sae had him just as fucked up as you, the last time they met on the pitch resulting in a heated exchange that made worldwide sports headlines for weeks. You’re surprised Rin didn’t risk a red card to play more aggressively against his older brother, but the yellow card he did get was worn like a badge of honor when you scolded him for it later. 

“I’m sorry Rin. He texted me, is all, and I don’t know that I want to see him. Last time I saw him, it didn’t end well.”

“Does it ever end well with him?”

“No,” you mumble, letting him sit you up so he could get on the couch with you. It’s not long before you’re laying on him, head on his shoulder as he reminds you that you don’t need to see Sae and definitely don’t need him in your life. You were about to get your degree, and a job out of it too based on the internship you’d finished, and you did it all without Sae. Neither a of you needed Sae, and you both understood the universal truth: Sae would always choose soccer first. Before his brother and certainly before you. Putting effort in when you know it won’t be reciprocated was for fools. 

“Seeing him might give you closure, but you need to figure out when you’ll stop running back to him and giving him that power over you.”

“You’re annoying when you’re right.”

“I’m only saying that he only does this to you and I’m getting sick of it. You can make your own decisions, but I don’t like seeing you cry over him. We’ve done too much of that.”

You had, and Rin truly was annoying when he was right but you know you’re lucky to have him - someone who knew exactly what it felt like to be pushed aside and put down by Itoshi Sae. By someone who once cared so much and wanted to see you succeed, then flipped the switch and became the biggest asshole you’d ever met. What you’d do without Rin, you weren’t sure. 

“Thanks for putting up with me all this time,” you whisper, tears welling up again but this time because you’re so grateful for him. He’ll hate it when he realizes you’re crying again, but you think this time he’ll keep it to himself. 

“You’re my big sister, putting up with you is kinda my job,” he murmurs, kissing your head as he adjusts his back. “But I cannot sleep on this couch.”

“ You put us here, shithead.”

Despite all your best intuitions, you text Sae back. You do tell Rin that as he’s leaving your apartment the following morning, and he leaves you with the suggestion that this be the last time you communicate with Sae. There isn’t an ultimatum there, but you know that you can’t keep allowing Rin to clean up the messes Sae left behind. Despite your close relationship and mutual understanding of how much it sucked to be emotionally fucked by Sae, it wasn’t fair to Rin that he picked up the additional emotional labor that was you crying over his brother or looking like you wanted to cry at the mention of him. You had a “Sae face”, for fuck’s sake - that could not last.

It’s always cold when you see Sae as adults. Mostly because it was the mid-season break in the middle of winter, but you also find it fitting that the weather fits how you feel the conversation should go. Indifferent, signaling the end to a one-sided friendship and the way he continued to keep you at arm’s length. Sae never felt warm, even down to the way he looked at you, it was a cold indifference that made you feel like you were stranded in the arctic with no way to truly understand what you did to be left that way. But you’re here now, standing in front of him as he watches you, not a sliver of interest in his expression that made you feel like he wanted you there despite the request that you come see him and make the time for him that he never made for you. 

“Hey.” Your greeting is about as level as you can manage, trying to maintain the cold indifference he always met you with. He looks tired, moreso than usual, which has you concerned but not enough to ask. He wouldn’t ask you if you were okay, that same courtesy should not be extended even if the words dance on the tip of your tongue with a need to be bitten down to keep yourself quiet.

“It’s cold out here, we should head into the hotel.” And he’s gesturing to the lavish building to your left, the building you hadn’t noticed because Sae gave you tunnel vision. “I don't have time to get sick.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” But you follow him anyway, loosening your scarf as he leads you to the elevator before your gloves come off to get tucked into the pocket of your coat. You aren’t sure how long you’ll stay, but you’re not trying to overheat either. 

“My mom says you’re almost done with university.”

“Yeah, I graduate in the spring.”

He only nods as the elevator stops, and again you’re following him down the hall to what is only the second door you see in the entire length of the hallway. Lavish hotel, lavish suite, you’d expect nothing less of Japan’s Treasure. Your boots are carefully removed before you take off your coat to hang up, acutely aware of how Sae watches you as he does the same. He was always watching, and you hate the way he could figure you out in seconds but never let you into the locked vault that was his brain. There was so much you could’ve learned if he’d just reciprocated some level of trust, but the last time you understood Sae was when you were in middle school - before Spain, before Blue Lock, before he broke your heart for the first time. 

“Why’d you text on my birthday?”

“It was your birthday, wasn’t it? It’s polite to do that.”

“You haven’t done that in almost ten years.” 

He gestures to the table on the other side of the suite, two plush chairs waiting for you both to sit and talk. That’s what Sae wanted, you supposed - to talk for the first time in four years. So you sit, tucking one leg under your body and nodding when he offered you some tea. 

But then he’s quiet; watching as you sip at the tea provided, holding the mug in your hands as a way to close yourself off from him. He couldn’t hurt you if you didn’t let him in to do that. 

“I want to make one thing clear, Sae.” You finally break after a couple minutes of unsettling silence, setting your cup down on the coaster before folding your hands in your lap. “I don’t have time to fuck around so please just get this over with and call me a stupid and hopeful girl that’s holding you back so I can go home.”

“Is that what you expected to get?”

“It’s the last thing you said to my face, so yeah.” He only nods at that, knowing that there was no denying that statement. “I can’t keep doing this, letting you show up every four years just to butter me up and then tell me to fuck off. I can’t keep trying to be your friend if you can’t even give me five minutes that I deserve when you’re not benefiting from it directly.”

He’s silent, and you continue to sip your tea while letting him process that. After a moment he stands, still saying nothing as he crosses the suite to get to a small box that sits on the dresser in the room. It looks expensive, a cherry wood case that is set delicately on the table in front of you. It’s as he sets it down that the sleeve of his shirt rides up a bit, revealing a familiar braided string of yarn that you’d made at a scouts camp. It was much too worn to be anything else, and your hand catches his wrist before he has the chance to sit down again. 

“You’ll spill your tea.”

“Shut up,” you whisper, setting the mug down with your free hand before dragging your index finger along the bracelet until it catches the two beads that were braided side-by-side into the yarn. Black and white, “like a soccer ball” is what you’d told him all those years ago, and the way he smiled as you tied it around his wrist made you feel something your eight year old heart hadn’t been able to compute. “You still have it.”

“I’ve always had it. I only take it off to shower.” He speaks so softly you barely hear him, the hand on your cheek bringing your attention away from the bracelet and to him as he squats in front of you. “And I know I’m a piece of shit, Rin made sure to tell me at our family dinner a couple nights ago, but I guess I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you and I’ve had you with me like you kept me with you all this time.”

“Why didn’t you ever just say that?” Your question has him sighing, and you look at him expectantly as he averts his gaze to look at the box instead. “If you’ve known all this time that I wanted you and you kept this - why not just say something?”

“I guess I just have to complicate everything.” You know that’s a joke - it has to be an attempt at one - and you can’t help but shake your head before you also look to where the box sits on the table waiting for you to open it. “I got this for you, putting it in the mail felt too impersonal.”

You don’t comment on how impersonal usually suited him just fine, not wanting to kill whatever moment you were having as your hands leave him to carefully open the box. You’re not sure what you’re expecting, but to hear an old pop song you’d enjoyed while he was spending time with you while Rin was at Blue Lock wasn’t it, and the tears well up in your eyes as it’s fully opened and you see a very old picture of you with Sae at one of your birthday parties pressed into the lid. Cake frosting on your face as you’re laughing, Sae’s finger still covered in frosting in the frame as he looks so proud of himself for getting you like that. Printed onto glass, a memory that you’d never forget because that was when Sae was happy , and preserved somewhere other than your heart (and apparently with one of your parents).

Then he pushes a button on the side of the box, the soft base lifting slowly to reveal a bracelet that looks so much like the one you’d made for him all those years ago. Only where he had two beads, this one has a small metal plate with a date on one side and you turn it when you see kanji on the other. 

“‘Thank you for being my harbor’?” 

“You’ve always been a safe place for me to come home to. A harbor for me to dock in. Even when I suck.” The explanation makes you chuckle as you wipe some stray tears from your cheek, commenting about how he spent too much time looking at the ocean while you watch him turn the bracelet over in your hands. “This was our first day of kindergarten. The day you decided you were my best friend.”

At that moment you don’t care about his career or potential for injury when you launch yourself at him. Arms tight around his neck as he barely catches you in time to cushion your fall as he hits the carpet below you. 

“I didn’t think you had a heart,” you tease, earning a huff from the man below you but no other comment. “Thank you, Sae.”

“I’d try to stay for you.” His voice was almost so quiet you didn’t hear it, and you can’t stop yourself from kissing him in your excitement to hear him say that.

“You mean it?” You don’t get a verbal response, instead his lips reconnecting to yours in a kiss that was less exciting but not lacking in passion. A warmth that rarely emanated from Sae made you feel like you were on fire, but he always made you feel like that when he kissed you. “Sae-“

“Don’t think too hard about it,” he instructs, hand coming to rest on the back of your neck. “Do you want this?”

“What is this ?”

“Currently? I think sex,” he mumbles, kissing along your jaw where he could reach in this position “After that? I’m not sure.”

“Yeah, we’ll figure that part out later,” you murmur, tilting your head back to give him better access to your neck. “But now, sex is good.”

You hate how easily your shirt comes off, his task that was exploring your neck barely interrupted by pulling the fabric over your head with your bra following shortly after. You have to sit up to allow yourself the space to undo the buttons of his shirt, and he helps you by starting from the bottom to complete the task faster. The shirt and his undershirt are shed quickly after he sits up, his hands then occupying themselves with your breasts as your mouth meets his once more. Your hands undo his pants, fumbling in search of his length that you’d felt getting hard beneath you while you were kissing him. It’s easy for him to push you both up while he bridges his hi[s, supporting you with just one hand while his other helps you push his pants and briefs down so you’d have the access to him that you wanted. His length is hot in your hand, a soft groan escaping him as your hand blindly explores previously uncharted territory.

“Is someone sensitive?” you ask, smile on your face as he scoffs. Your own pants start to get wiggled down your hips, and you cooperate as he adjusts your body to ensure he could get your pants and panties off without needing to pull too far away from you. His ability to manhandle you shouldn’t be surprising, considering the intense strength training all professional athletes worked through, but for it to be Sae shuffling you around with little effort was something unexpected. Maybe it was because you consistently still pictured him as the same young teenager, the untainted version of Sae that loved you, but you can’t dwell on that when you feel a couple fingers slide through your slick folds. 

His fingers ease into your cunt, it seemed like he was trying to match the easy pace of your hand with his thumb rolling against your clit shortly after your thumb runs along his tip. Like in all things, Sae is meticulous and observant and he worked diligently to get you ready to take him. He felt big in your hand, but without having a proper look at his cock you’re not sure if he was over or under preparing you so you’re trusting him while his fingers work expertly inside you. It’d be weird to ask how many people he’d been with, considering he clearly didn’t care how many people you’d been with - did it actually matter if you were here now? Probably not, but you always worked overtime thinking about what Sae was possibly up to without you. 

“Ready?” He’s asking you as he pulls his hand back, but not looking at you as his attention is redirected to your neck and shoulder. “Don’t wanna cum in your hand, would rather do that inside you.”                                                                            

“Condom?” you ask, wincing at the way his teeth gripped the skin at your jawline, before he let out a hum that sounded like a no. 

“Not necessary.” The confirmation of his thought has you smiling, bumping your head against his as he looks up at you. 

“How do you know I don’t want to trap you into giving me your money to raise a prodigy child?” you tease, earning yourself an exasperated sigh as he nips the shell of your ear. 

“You’ve had access to Rin’s money for years and all you ask for are jerseys and tickets.” You’re mad that he knows that, but you’re sure that Rin has probably thrown it in his face once or twice that you don’t ask for much at all outside of basic human decency and how Sae couldn’t give you that. “He’d give you anything you asked for, maybe not a kid though.”

“He can’t give me you.”

“He’d kill himself before agreeing to that,” he murmurs, peppering kisses around your cheek as he eases you onto his length. “Gonna take all of me? I know you can.”

You could, but not without effort. Sae wasn’t excessively girthy, but he was longer than others you’d taken. You liked that you were on top, having more control over this despite his hands on your hips guiding you down as he whispers in your ear how well you were taking him. You don’t take his entire length on the first pass, but he’s still enamored as he leans back against the bed to properly take you in. 

“You’re really pretty when I’m stretching you out like this.”

“Only when you’re fucking me?”

“All the time, you’ve always been pretty,” he responds, hand around your neck to keep your gaze locked on his. “But this is something special. Not just anyone gets to see you like this.”

That much was true, you were selective about who had access to you despite working overtime in college to do whatever you could to forget about Sae. You think mostly it was to keep your image clean for Rin, despite him never asking for the intimate details of your life that could tarnish your image in his eyes. 

“Thinking too much,” he scolds, gently tapping your cheek to refocus your attention on him and only him . “You wanted my attention so bad, be good for me then.”

“You chased me this time,” you counter, rolling your hips against his and pulling a hiss from between his teeth. “So shut the fuck up.”

“Bossy,” he murmurs before pulling you in for another kiss. It’s more calculated than you’d expect for having his cock buried in your cunt as his hands help you ride him. There was a universe where you and Sae were like this all the time, you’re sure of it. One where you’re happy and in love with each other to the point where you can’t keep your hands off one another. A universe where it didn’t take eight years for him to say that you meant something to him - where he didn’t run from experiencing a human emotion to maintain a cool composure on the field. It was probably a world where he didn’t play soccer, and would probably never be the universe you lived in currently. 

“Why are you crying?” he whispers, the hand that wasn’t holding your neck carefully rubbing your side in an effort to calm you down. You have even realized that you were crying, how embarrassing. “Does it hurt?”

“No, it’s okay,” you murmur, trying to reassure him as you continue fucking him, but you know you don’t believe it. “Thinking too much, like you said. Missed you a lot, y’know. This is nice.”

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t think so much,” he comments with a sigh, brushing his nose against yours as you shrug. 

“Do something about it, then.” 

He moves quickly at your challenge, your back hitting the plush carpet with a soft thud as he changes the position so he was on top. Your hands settle on his chest as he kisses you, the coil in your stomach tightening with every deep thrust into your pussy. His kiss is sloppy, needy and so uncharacteristic of the usually very meticulous man you’d come to know and love but hate most of the time. 

“Sae, please,” you whine as he pulls away, cheek pressed to his as he presses his face into your neck. 

“Keep saying it,” he requests, nipping and sucking at the skin he can get to as he pounds into you, one hand gripping your leg to bring it up to his hip for the deeper angle that has you seeing stars. “Let the whole hotel know who’s got you.”

“S-Sae,” you moan, his hand finding your clit bringing a choked gasp out of your lips that has him grinning into your skin. 

“So good for me, you like the way I fuck you?”

“God, fuck yes!” You’re thankful his suite is so large, preventing many, if any, people from hearing how desperately you were missing for him. “S’good Sae.”

“I know,” he grunts, the sound coming from deep in his throat and sending a shiver down your spine.  “Fuck, you feel great. So good for me.” 

Your core continues to tighten with every thrust, signaling the beginning of the end for you, and you hope he’s also close because you’re not sure you could handle any more. You didn’t have the soccer stamina like he did. 

“Sae, I’m gonna cum.” That gets his attention, leaving your neck with an open mouthed kiss before he’s looking down at you again. He’s smiling as his hand pushes your hair from your face, kissing your forehead as he feels your walls begin to constrict around him. 

“Come on, baby, you can cum for me,” he murmurs, hands cupping your cheeks as he forehead rests against yours. “C’mon, beg a little bit for me as you do, yeah?”

“Sae, please,” you whimper, gripping his forearms as he grinds his hips into yours. His pelvis rubs against your clit with every stroke of his hips, his own normally controlled gaze unfocused as he feels his own end approaching. “Sae- yes, fuck - SaeSaeSae please. I’m gonna-!”

His moans are less intelligible as he tries to hold out through your orgasm, you barely make out your name among a string of curses until he finally stills as warmth floods your core. One small thrust followed by a second push his seed deeper into you, the press of his lips kissing away the tears that had rolled down your cheeks.  

“The floor is not where I’d wanted to do this,” he murmurs but you only try to shake your head because you truly did not care. “You okay?”

“You’re going to have to check for a rug burn, but I’m good. More than that.” Your assurance comes as he pulls out, helping you to sit up before pulling you to your feet with him so he can help you to the bed on wobbly legs. He tells you to stay put for a moment after laying you down, and you watch from the bed as he leaves for the bathroom. 

When he returns, he turns you on your back so he can check your skin for rug burns as requested while his other hand brings a washcloth between your legs to clean up the mess he’d left. Always striving for efficiency was Sae, and you appreciate the care he puts into getting you ready for bed. You honestly wouldn’t have expected that of him but, then again, this entire night was something you wouldn’t have expected from him. 

“You look fine.” Is all he says before placing the softest of kisses between your shoulder blades, bringing a smile to your face before he goes to put the washcloth back into the bathroom. This time when he comes back he pulls you into his side, letting you rest your head on his shoulder while you continue to bask in the afterglow of having sex with Sae. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, uncomfortable with the sudden silence despite the way he was relaxed beneath you. It wasn’t odd for him to get quiet, but after sex it felt odd. Was he regretting it, or trying to figure out how to ask you to go back home? What if this was all for him to get some closure he was looking for?  

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just thinking.”

“Want to share with the class?”

“You asked what happened in Spain, and I never told you,” he murmurs, hand rubbing your back as you look up at him. “Never told anyone, really.”

You hum, gently tracing patterns on his chest with your fingertips as he sits in the silence. You weren’t going to say anything that could break his train of thought, not wanting to destroy whatever vulnerability he was going to extend to you. 

“It’s different when you leave Japan. I know Rin has probably told you about some of it, but him exploring at seventeen or eighteen was vastly different than being thirteen.”

“I’m sure. You had to learn Spanish too, right?”

“I did, which is fucking hard when your English also isn’t great.” So at least you were right about that much, the stress he was likely under was unimaginable. “My translator worked overtime.”

“I’m sure.”

“But I think the worst of it was just how alone I was. A child, so hyped up and for what? The rug was pulled from under me very fast; not speaking the language created a lot of barriers for me, along with my age and obvious inexperience with how the real world works. Thought I knew everything, but I didn’t know shit.”

“I mean, you were just a kid still, did they not-“

“They didn’t care. I could’ve been a toddler and they wouldn’t have given a shit. And they taught me quickly that everything you have can be taken away from you. I guess initially I didn’t want them to try and take you, too. Then it was just, everything changed. I had to change my entire mentality about soccer to succeed there and it took over. And I can’t break it, or else I break my soccer.”

“You realize that’s not a good excuse to have acted like a complete dick for the last ten years, right?” You ask, propping yourself up to look directly at him. “Like all you had to say was ‘Spain sucks, I’m miserable, and I don’t want to push you away but I know I suck’ and I would’ve tried to understand more. But then you did the rest of it, and did irreparable damage to Rin and I.”

“I know,” he sighs, his eyes closing as you roll yours. “I know, and nothing I can do will fix that. You just wanted to know, and I owed you that.”

“You’re pretty hot when you’re vulnerable.” Your attempt to lighten the mood lands, earning a snort from the usually collected Sae before he opens his eyes to look at you again. “I’m serious!”

“I’m sure,” he mumbles, settling more into the bed while trying to pull you back down into him. You don’t let him get you easily, pulling back against him so you could continue that eye contact with him. 

“Are you sticking around this time?” The question has him sighing, and you feel bad for ruining the moment but you know you need to talk this out. “I meant it when I said I can’t keep doing this. If you’re not sticking around, or if you’re going to leave without saying anything and cut me off again, then we’re done on all fronts. I can’t keep waiting for you to choose me.”

You think you know the answer when he sighs, but you let him pull you down into his chest this time. You’d enjoy it while it lasted, you supposed, the consequences would be felt in the morning. Sae was finally yours , even if it was only for a night. 

You wake up alone in the hotel suite, still naked but neatly tucked in by who you could only assume was Sae. The woven bracelet is tied around your wrist, which gives you hope, but looking around the room tells you that he’d left entirely. No suitcases, no remnants of the clothes you’d shed on the way to the bedroom, your own clothes neatly folded at the end of the bed. He did exactly what he told you he wouldn’t do, which has your stomach dropping as the tears well up. 

Deep down, you knew he wouldn’t keep his word. He would never choose you over soccer, after all. 

You feel ashamed as you leave the hotel, the snow still falling and you’re tempted to walk all the way back home to just marinate in the emotions you were feeling. But you don’t, instead calling for a taxi where the driver listens to you sniffle in your own misery with a sympathetic look on his face. You hate being so vulnerable, exposed in public for having your heart broken and the pieces stomped on by someone who grew up with you, but it’s another thing you can hate Sae for. 

Coming home to Rin sitting on your couch was not what you wanted exactly, but pulling off your layers and then flopping on the couch beside him was what you needed. He’d be disappointed that you’d bought into Sae’s lies once more, but he’d be relieved to hear that you were completely done now. You’d learned your lesson one too many times, and now you could both move on from this constant cycle of heartache. 

“What happened?”

“Details you don’t need, for starters,” you sigh, earning a gagging sound from Rin that makes you roll your eyes. “But I told him if he left like he did the last two times, not saying anything and just going ghost that I wanted him to never talk to me again. And when I woke up he was gone. Like he was never there.”

“Bastard.” Is the only thing to leave Rin as he pulls you into his side. “But I suppose he finally made his choice.”

“He’d always made his choice, I’m just an idiot.” He doesn’t have anything to say to that, and you just lean into his shoulder while you try to fight back the next round of tears. You appreciate that he doesn’t want to make you feel worse by telling you what he thought, but the silence was horrifyingly loud. “I should shower.”

“I’ll make some breakfast for you.”

After you were clean and had eaten, Rin left for his own training regimen and you sat on your couch while staring at your phone as it vibrated on the coffee table. Sae had already called twice, this would be the third time he’d called. You don’t want to answer, but you know you have to or else he wouldn’t stop calling. But maybe he’d come back if he thought you hadn’t made it home? Could you manipulate him into your apartment so you could yell at him in person? 

No, that wouldn’t really fix anything. He’d probably just try to fuck you into being docile again, and you didn’t want or need that. 

“You selfish piece of shit.” Is how you start when you answer, standing up from your seat. “I can’t believe that I believed all that shit you said! But classic Sae, right? Tell me what I want to hear and then fucking leave without a word!”

“I’m sorry-”

“You’d fucking want to be! I’m so tired of you jerking me around like this, and then Rin feels obligated to pick up the pieces of the heart you shatter time and time again! He deserves better than to clean up your mess both with me and with your family.”

“I had a flight to catch.”

“Then you say that, dick! Don’t give me some expensive gift, fuck me, then leave!” 

“When was I supposed to tell you?”

“I dunno, maybe when we were staring at each other in those chairs? Or when you were taking off my clothes? Or, and here’s a crazy thought, when we were laying in bed and I told you flat out that if you left like that again you could consider me gone for real!” You don’t know when you’d made it to your bedroom, but you’re sure you owe your neighbors an apology for how loud you were yelling into your phone. “Like always, you know just what to say to get me close to you and then you fuck it up because you’re selfish, arrogant, and think that just because you can kick a ball really well that you can just treat me how you want?”

“It shouldn’t matter.” Is what you’re met with, and you have to stop yourself from screaming into the phone as your response for how upset you were. “You should know, especially after last night, that you do mean something to me.”

“Sure, but I just can’t do this shit with you, Sae. I can’t be with you when you’re here and then not exist when you’re gone!” You yell into the phone, knowing that as soon as he didn’t like where the conversation was headed he’d hang up. You’d at least gotten to say your piece, make sure he knew just how upset you were and how deeply he’d fucked up. Saying that you should know when he never made you feel anything like that until last night? Absurd and you hoped he’d learn after this that you have to communicate. “I told you that if you left the same way again that I wouldn’t be waiting for you when you came back. I’m done waiting for you, Sae. I can’t keep hoping that one day you’ll choose me because you want to instead of it being because I’m convenient for you.” 

“You think it’s out of convenience?”

“When have you ever given me a reason to think otherwise?”

There’s only silence on the other line, so you hang up after a couple moments of giving him an opportunity to respond before flopping back onto your bed and riding the way it bounced until you eventually settled. There wasn’t anything to look forward to, he’d never choose you and you couldn’t put your life on hold in the off chance that hell froze over and he did choose you over soccer. 

But you had a graduation coming up that you needed to prepare for, Sae was not ruining that for you. 

After you graduate, however, things get a bit boring. Work and more work, an endless repetition that exhausts you. If Rin would be a good younger brother and put in a good word for you with one of his teammates, you’d volunteer to be a trophy soccer wife and just travel. Would it be a waste of your degree? Absolutely, but there had to be more to life than whatever this was. Even if you had to act like you at least enjoyed soccer, it has to be more interesting than the life you had currently. People think it’s cool that you’ve got pictures with Itoshi Rin on your desk and are able to get them passes to matches you simply don’t want to be at, it gives them something to talk to you about and see you smile for once instead of having your head down in your work. 

But you know part of the misery is tied into the fact that you can’t stop thinking about Sae. Yes, you’d cut him off after he’d left you, but there was so much history that you were severing that it hurt to do and think about. If Rin asked, you were doing just fine, even if he knew you better than to believe that. 

Your prayers always seem to be answered in the form of Itoshi Rin. You hadn't exactly told him how miserable you were, trying to put on a good show for him whenever you had the chance to talk. You even left to get drinks with coworkers a couple times and let someone take you out on a date. You were trying to be social, because you knew it would help him worry less about you.

But the next time Rin is in the country, he shows up on a Saturday evening and tells you to get dressed as you’re in the middle of preparing vegetables to cook for dinner. He never showed up without calling, so this had to have been an impromptu decision for him to show up in relatively nice clothes instead of his usual gym or travel wear. 

“You could call , asshole. I wouldn’t have started cooking.”

“It’s just vegetables, they’ll keep for another day. Now go get dressed, casual but nice.”

You comply, but not because Rin told you to. The notion of going out with someone you didn’t see every day at work was enough to make you cooperative, is at least what you would try to say if he asked why you tagged along if you managed to get a complaint out. 

“Where are we even going ?”

“Dinner with some of my teammates. Apparently they miss you despite passing my phone around in the locker room to talk to you before every match.”

“Do they know I’m single?”

“I think it’s painfully obvious on your instagram.” That has you poking your head out of the bathroom to look at him as he goes through your closet while you try to make your hair more presentable for dinner with sports celebrities. “I’m surprised I haven’t seen four cats running around here at this point.”

“Go fuck yourself,” you retort, flipping him off before going back to your task that was taming your hair. “Pick out something cute!”

“You’re so annoying,” he calls, earning himself another middle finger extended out of the doorway of your bathroom. “You’d better be dressed in ten minutes.”

You’re finished getting ready in nine, probably a personal best but only made possible because Rin picked clothes out for you - saving you both the agony that came with you rifling through your closet for the right outfit. Choosing and then doubting yourself to choose again only to end up going back to your original selection. He hated that, so it made his life much easier to pick the clothes and get you into the car. 

“Where exactly are we going?” It’s the third time you’ve asked, you see Rin’s eye twitch in annoyance at the question since he’d told you that you were going with him to dinner with some of his teammates. He didn’t tell you where, or who all would be there, but you did enjoy everyone he played with so you couldn’t be fully upset at not having details. “Who all is going to be there?”

“We’re going to that one sushi place we went to on your birthday last year. Not sure exactly who all from the team will be there, but Aiku will definitely be there since he has been asking about you nonstop. Missed seeing you at matches when we’re playing here. Are you satisfied?”

“You should tell him I hate soccer and only went for you in the first place.”

“You don’t hate soccer, you hate what it did to you.”

“Same difference.”

“Behave in there,” Rin warns once the car is parked, and you look over at him with an unimpressed stare as you unbuckle your seatbelt. “I told them ahead of time not to mention Sae.”

“So they know your brother fucked me then left me?”

“No. Just that you two were once close and now the ties are officially severed but you’re still grieving the loss of that friendship.” He was so good at covering for you, but you also know that he was happy that you’d finally chosen yourself over choosing to chase Sae that he’d do anything to make that choice easier for you to heal from. “You’re going to have a good time. If not, I’ll kill them.”

And you did have a good time, sitting between Rin and Oliver proved to be very entertaining while you were paid close attention to by both men. Rin per usual was a bit distant from his teammates, but would lean in to speak to you and make sure you were doing okay. On your left, Oliver was switching between speaking to you and chattering to his teammates. He asked questions about how you’ve been doing, interested in your studies and excited that you’d graduated. He knew how hard you worked from past conversations and hearing Rin try to figure out how to send care packages from different countries to get you through exams, and he told you that he was proud of you for such a big accomplishment. 

“Let me take you out to celebrate. Just the two of us,” Oliver requests, his smile nothing short of charming despite Rin’s scoff behind you. He never let Rin’s attitude deter him from what he wanted, and you did like that about Oliver. The fact that he was handsome just happened to be a plus. 

You want to say no, you really do. The thought of spending time with people outside of your apartment, without Rin to act as a buffer and remove you from the situation when you started to get emotional was terrifying. But the nudge from Rin happens, and you know that it’d be for the best that you develop habits that don’t include crying over Itoshi Sae and and you need to make more friends that weren’t at your job. So you nod, smile on your face as you tell Oliver that you’d really like for him to take you out. 

A couple years pass by, and you end up in a serious relationship with Oliver Aiku. It’s a very public affair, him flying you out for matches and always kissing you very passionately after victories - one time practically jumping into the stands to get to you. He loved you loudly, proudly, and would show you off at every opportunity to the point where you spent more time working remotely from whatever country he wanted you in than being in your office. 

His pride in being with you is what brought you to an annual gala, complete with the nice expensive dress that coordinated beautifully with his suit. The pocket square even sparkled in the light like your dress did, a very important detail to him as he was dress shopping with you. 

And he liked to be by your side, hand held in his or his arm around your waist as you chatted with his teammates or other players that you knew through him and Rin, but he also gave you space. If you excused yourself, he’d check in only briefly to make sure you were okay before letting you know to let him know if you needed him. And when you excused yourself at this gala, telling him you were going to use the restroom before getting more champagne for the both of you, he let you go with a kiss on your cheek and a gentle but discrete pat to your ass with a grin that you couldn’t help but adore. 

You know that you love Oliver; you love the way he treats you and the way that he loves you - with no question or hesitation to tell and show you how much he cared. Rin didn’t hate the relationship, he just wished Oliver was more mindful of the environment before making a scene after matches, but most of all Rin was happy that you were happy. His brother wasn’t a constant source of emotional pain for you anymore, Oliver made sure of that, and that’s all Rin truly wanted for you: happiness and to feel like you were chosen for once. You knew you’d never force the ultimatum that was you or a soccer career, but knowing that Oliver would drop anything except for a match to get to you if you needed him meant so much more than you think he’d understand after your history of dealing with Sae. A history that he has gotten bits and pieces of, but not quite the full story. Rin would never dig up that history without your permission, but you share bits and pieces when he asks well timed questions. 

You love Oliver, but running into Sae as you leave the restroom has you stopped in your tracks and you can tell he’s also put off by the sudden rendezvous. While you were always at these events at Oliver’s side, you’d managed to avoid crossing paths with Sae since he very rarely showed up to them. You hadn’t seen him since that night, and were hoping that you’d never have to see him again after you’d officially severed the ties that bound you to him. But here he was, and you stand in silence for a moment before he realizes that you’re not going to say anything to him. 

“You look well,” is all he says, and you nod with as straight a face as you can muster. You couldn’t make a scene here, fighting Itoshi Sae at a JFU event would get you blacklisted and possibly Oliver too. “Thank you, you also look well.”

“Aiku, huh?”

“He never thought I was holding him back. He’s stayed with no hesitation about his career,” you comment, leaning against the wall of the hallway as Sae nods his understanding. “Why’d you leave that night? Don’t bullshit me, either, we’re too old for that.” 

“Truthfully, I was scared. You deserved better than what I was prepared to provide, so I left for your sake.” You’re not buying it, but you would let him live in the delusion that he was doing what was best for you rather than what was best for him . Whatever he needed to sleep at night. “He makes you happy?”

“Yeah,” you murmur, the thought that he also had made you happy when you were spending time with him dying on your tongue when you swallow. That wouldn’t fix anything for him or for you. “I love him, and he loves me.”

“The way he makes out with you after matches says enough.”

“And you have no place to comment. You had multiple chances, and you chose to push me away every time and go silent so we couldn’t even talk about it. You ran , Itoshi. Oliver doesn’t run.” He sighs, and you roll your eyes at the fact that he wasn’t leaving and was also blocking the hallway so you couldn’t leave easily either. “Would there ever have been a time where you chose me? Or tried to be with me when you weren’t on a break from playing?”

“Why are you so obsessed with causing yourself pain?,” Sae asks, and you shrug while doing your best to keep the emotions at bay. “You still want to cry when you’re angry, but you’re better at stopping yourself now.”

“Maybe I’m just so used to you hurting me, I don’t know what to do when you’re not.” You know that cuts deep, he visibly flinches at that which you wouldn’t expect to see him do in public. “I need to get back before he comes looking and then tries to deck you.” 

That has Sae turning to move past you and into the men’s bathroom, leaving you to take a couple deep breaths before leaving the small hallway and making your way through the various players, executives, and their guests to get back to Oliver. On occasion someone would greet you and you’d stop to chat for a moment to avoid being rude, which results in Oliver making his way to you since you’d been gone for so long. 

You’re conflicted as you dance with Oliver, your head resting on his shoulder as he sways with you in time with the song playing. Sae had been your ultimate wish, and it would’ve been a dream come true to have him choose you at least once. But to know that it wouldn’t have ever happened, not because of Oliver but because of soccer ? A re-entry of the knife that had been thrust into your heart all those years ago. 

“Everything okay?”

“Why do you ask?” You look up from his shoulder, smiling when he leans in to kiss the tip of your nose. 

“You were gone a while, and you didn’t come back with the drinks, and you looked a bit upset which is why I went and scooped you up.” He paid such close attention to you, and he kissed your nose again with a soft smile that made you melt all over again. “I’m assuming you ran into him.”

“Yeah, but it’s fine. He’s stupid, and I have you and you make me the happiest lady in the world.”

“He fumbled the most beautiful girl in the world, like the idiot he is.”

And you hate soccer, you truly do, but you hate more that you had to dig that grave up again every time you saw Sae - even if it was just in passing. Sae’s impact on your feelings is something you’re not sure you’ll ever have control over, and it’s not fair to Oliver that you’re so easily impacted by another. Oliver was warm , with a smile that could melt glaciers and held you like he would be your defender set to protect you from any harm. You deserved to bask in the sun after spending so long chasing after Sae in the cold darkness that came with his uncertainty. 

“Do you wanna go fuck in the bathroom? Might make you feel better.”

“Tempting offer but I kinda enjoy you being a starter on the team and also employed.”

“You just like a man in uniform.”

“Yeah.” Your agreement has him grinning, you weren’t at all shy about liking how he looked in his gear. “But you’re my favorite man in uniform, Captain.”

#itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae x you #itoshi sae angst #itoshi sae fanfic #blue lock fanfics #blue lock fics #blue lock fanfiction #blue lock x reader #sae x reader #sae x you

[ferris-the-wheel]

Posted 3/10/24

Idia x Reader

Included character(s): Idia Shroud

Setting: NRC

Emoji(s): 💙/💜/❤️

Perspective: Reader/Idia

: ̗̀➛ gn!reader

Scenario: See the screenshot below.

A/N: SEE @felixsterprankster? I TOLD YOU I'D DO IT! I DO KEEP MY PROMISES >:'D CREDIT TO YOU FOR THE IDEA BB/plat ♥︎

TW: Kinda angsty, nothing else really.

"I'm the best gamer ever; do you really think that you can beat me? Mwehehehehe!" Idia chuckled with a toothy smirk. You ignored him, your fingers punching out a combo attack.

You watched your character deliver the attack, but Idia's character managed to dodge it and delivered the finishing blow, landing a swift kick to your character's head.

Winner!

You saw the large letters appear on screen as your character was sent flying off screen. You sighed and flopped back on Idia's bedspread. He turned to with with a triumphant expression, his pale face illuminated by his blue, fiery hair.

You felt you heart skip a beat as his bright yellow eyes met yours. Idia, meanwhile, was rambling about how often he played the game and his favorite character, and sometimes throwing in helpful tips about how to improve.

You nodded and Idia clicked the rematch button. With his tips, you did a lot better than before. You lasted five minutes longer than the previous round, which against Idia, was pretty damn good. In the end though, he still won.

"You did better this time. You could've done a bunch of combos that would've totally KO'd me, but overall, pretty good." He said in a rare moment of genuine praise.

"See? This is why I love you." You said, then you immediately jumped up, your face feeling like it was in fire. You did not just say that out loud, you did not just say that out loud!

The tips of Idia's hair turned bright pink and he had a look that showed that he was still processing what you just said. You dashed to the door. "I- I have to g- go!" You manages to stutter out before flinging the door open and running down the hallway.

After you left, Idia was left in a state of shock. Did he mishear you? There wasn't any way that you would like him, right?! But then why did you run off? Did you seriously say... that you loved him?

Idia's head was spinning for the rest of the day, unable to think of anything else. This was just like an anime, in a way. Does that mean that in the end, you two would get together? No, no, life isn't anything like an anime. He knew that from experience. Why would you like some reclusive otaku like him as opposed to any of the other guys in NRC? However, the thought lingered in his mind: but you said you loved him.

Over the next few days, he tried texting you, but you never texted back. Maybe he was wrong? Did you... not like him? He was growing more and more desperate for an answer as the days passed, your accidental confession playing through his mind on repeat. There was no way that he misheard you, he was sure of that now. But why were you avoiding him? Was it out of embarrassment?

He eventually grew determined enough to track you down in person. He knew your schedule from earlier times you'd hung out to game together. He hesitated at the door, his introverted mind really asking if he was going to do this. He finally stepped outside and nearly ran right into Ortho.

"Oh, big brother! I was just about to come find you!" Ortho said, as if Idia ever left his room. Then Ortho blinked in surprise. "Hm? Is something wrong? Your hair is slightly pink and your heart rate is elevated. Are you sick?" Ortho hovered over to Idia worriedly.

"I- I'm fine, Ortho, don't worry. I just- um- have to do something." Idia managed to say in a coherent sentence. Ortho had a quizzical look on his face. "Are you going on another snack run? If you're that worried, I can—"

"Nope! All good." Idia cut in, hurrying down the hallway, pulling his hood up. He normally didn't even leave his room during the day, let alone leave the Iginhyde dorm! But he was on a mission.

"Just think of it as a quest, Idia." He muttered to himself. "Part one: find..." He couldn't even say your name. "... the person. They'll help with the next part of the quest."

Your eyes wandered the page of your quiz, your score written at the top corner.

57/100

Well, you could've done worse, you supposed, spinning your pen in your hand with a sigh. You flipped the page over and sighed. Your mind wandered to the incident. He probably thought you were so weird, especially after you ran off and didn't respond to his texts.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" You almost jumped out of your seat as a voice spoke next you. You turned around. "Oh- yeah, Trey, I'm fine." You replied. Trey gave you a dubious frown but nodded. "If you say so. We've been kinda concerned for you, admittedly."

"'We'?" You asked. Trey adjusted his glasses awkwardly. "Me, Cater, Lilia, and Rook. We noticed that you've been kinda off these past few days and wanted to make sure that you're okay."

"It's been that obvious?" You groaned, dropping your head— forehead first— onto the desk. Trey gave a slightly amused, "Mhm."

"Well- I've just had something on my mind. Don't worry, I'm fine." You mumbled, almost as embarrassed as when— nope, don't think about it!

"Alright then." Trey said and you heard his footsteps walking away. As soon as the bell rang, you jumped out of your seat and were out of the door.

"H- hey! Uh- Y/N, can we talk?" You stopped in surprise and spun around to see Idia, his fiery hair shifting around in agitation. "Uh- y'know, before all the normies show up?"

You nodded and you both ducked into an empty classroom to the left. You closed the door just as the rest of the students came flooding out into the hallway.

You stood awkwardly in front of Idia, who looked equally as uncomfortable. "So... um. What did you want to talk about?" You asked, though you already knew. Neither of you could meet the other's eyes.

"Eh- um- I wanted to t- talk about what y- you said. Y- y'know." He stammered, speaking quickly. You bit your lip. You honestly hadn't been expecting him to come after you to walk about it. You'd been hoping to steer clear of him for a few days to get an idea on how to address the situation.

"Oh- um...." You couldn't think of how to continue the conversation.

Luckily, Idia spoke up. "Did you... you really mean it? What you said?" His hair was half pink at this point, his sharp teeth biting into his lip.

You hesitated before nodding, feeling your face flush.

"I - um... I feel the same." Idia said quietly. You looked up in surprise.

"You're serious?" You asked incredulously. "Mhm..." He responded.

The ten second silence that followed was tense enough that you could cut through it with a knife. "So... are we...?" Idia started to ask, but he trailed off.

"If you want to." You said quickly. You both were too embarrassed to come out and say it.

"O- okay!" Idia grew noticeably happier. "Should we come up with boundaries or something? I'm not good at this..." He muttered.

"Sure. I think that we've been friends long enough to know what we're comfortable with in general terms." You said, thinking.

"Uh- no PDA! That's just so awkward!" Idia said suddenly, his cheeks tinged with pink. "Alright, that's fine." Your fingers fiddled with the your uniform, feeling your own face heat up once more.

"I... think that's it?" He mumbled. You gave a small, "Mhm," and shuffled your feet. You shifted your gaze from the floor to look at him. "I know that we just established the 'no PDA' rule, but can I hug you? There's no one around and the door's closed."

"S- sure." Idia said quickly, his shoulder tensing. You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him. You felt his arms loop around you, hugging you back. You both gave each other a small smile.

TWST taglist: @edith-is-a-cat @twst-om-lover @officialdaydreamer00 @l7k-a @lu-lul @lyle-my-beloved @xen-blank @cookiesandbiscuits @mermaidfanficlibrary @doodler17 @felixsterprankster (tagging you again lol-) @v-anrouge

#idia shroud twst #twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland idia #idia shroud #twst idia #idia #x reader #x gn!reader #idia x gn!reader #idia x reader #twst x reader

[void-wolfie]

We Had Matching Wounds. Mine's Still Black and Bruised.

summary: Jenna's still grieving after you walk out on her, but you've already moved on.

pairing: Jenna Ortega x gn!Reader

tw: angst, maybe depression(?)... not exactly sure, let me know if I need to add something

words: 960

a/n: thanks to the anon who suggested The Exit by Conan Gray... wrote this pretty late at night so it might be trash who knows lol

Jenna's apartment was a mess; clothes splayed across every surface, dirty dishes stacked a mile high, and a pile of laundry that hadn't been done in weeks. All in all, it was safe to say she wasn't ok, not by a long shot.

She had barricaded herself in her room long ago. Refusing to move unless it was absolutely necessary, which wasn't often. She'd drowned herself in one of your oversized hoodies and a nest of blankets. If she wasn't asleep or crying, she was staring blankly at the ceiling or mindlessly scrolling through her phone.

A notification popped up across her phone. She stared at the headline, thinking about clicking on it. The dull numbness that’d consumed her days gave way to heartache the longer she stared.

Y/N and pop singer Olivia Rodrigo officially confirm their relationship!

She was finally at a place where she wasn't gnawed away by guilt and heartache every second of the day, a sort of depressive numbness settling in. But she knew seeing you with a new girlfriend would crush her, making the reality of your breakup all too real, all the more final. But at the same time, curiosity was eating away at her. The hope that maybe it was clickbait or fake news was naively tugging at the back of her mind.

Against her better judgment, she clicked on the article.

Everyone says a picture is worth a thousand words. A thousand words wouldn't begin to cover the extent of pain Jenna was feeling.

There at the front of the article was a screenshot from your Instagram. A post of you and Olivia kissing, with the caption; Happy three months, love <;3.

She felt sick to her stomach. She probably would've puked on the spot had she actually eaten anything in the past two days.

Three months. Those words shattered her already fragile heart.

Three months... The two of you broke up only four months ago.

She could still remember the night it all went wrong, like a broken record stuck on repeat.

"y/n?" She called out, setting her stuff down on the kitchen table.

It was a miserable day, it'd been raining all day and thunder could be heard in the distance. The run from her car to the front door left her soaked from the cold rain.

"y/n?" She called out again, only to get no response.

She padded into your shared bedroom, her hair leaving tiny water drops across the tile floor as she shivered in her wet clothes.

She stopped in her tracks. There was a suitcase on the bed full of your stuff, and you were packing more in.

"What's going on?"

"I'm leaving." You didn't spare her a glance, you knew if you did you'd only be inclined to stay. Those big brown eyes of hers would always be your weakness.

"Leaving?" You weren't leaving her, were you? Sure your relationship had been on the rocks as of late, countless arguments and nights spent yelling. But had it really gotten this bad?

"I can't do this anymore, Jenna."

"Do what?"

"This. Us." You closed the suitcase, zipping it up, still refusing to look at her, "The arguing, the late nights coming home, always feeling like your second choice. I just can't do it anymore."

You finally looked at her, seeing tears streaming down her freckled face. It broke your heart, but you had to protect yourself. Even if that meant breaking her.

"Do you even know what it feels like Jenna? To feel like your second choice? You come home late every other night, you're gone for months at a time, and you lie about who you're with and where you go. Do you even remember the last time you said ‘I love you’?"

"I..." She wanted to refute everything you'd said, but she couldn't. She couldn't remember the last time you had a movie night together or even ate dinner at the same table. She couldn't remember the last time she said those three words.

You had tears of your own streaming down your face, "3 months ago. You haven’t said it in three months."

Jenna was in a stupor. Her whole world was crumbling before her, and she was lost on how to fix it.

How had you moved on so quickly? It felt like only yesterday she was so deep in love, falling into a black hole of bliss with only you on her mind. She thought you felt the same, and maybe you did. But you'd already replaced her. With one of her friends, no less.

Jenna skipped reading the article. She didn't want some reporter's half-assed observations and opinions on your dating life. They didn't know you, and she could care less about their opinion.

She clicked over to Instagram, despite her shaking hands and teary eyes, and tortured herself with your latest post.

You looked happy. There were all kinds of pictures of you and Olivia together. Pictures of you two dancing in the rain, swimming at the lake, even one at that club she never had the time to take you to. Not to mention the abundance of candid photos fans had tagged the two of you in. Pictures of the two of you kissing, the two of you visiting that little ice cream shop by the beach, some at that little cafe by your house that had your favorite coffee.

To say it was agony was an understatement. There weren't words for her pain. She could never effectively describe the heartache that left her crying for hours on end, breathless and shaky from the exertion.

It hurt knowing she carved out her own heart for you and in the end, her downfall was her own doing.

You already found someone to miss, while I'm still standin' at the exit.

#jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x gn!reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega imagine #void-wolfie

[sanguineterrain]

✦steve with glasses and his messy hair looking so pretty as he tries to read and maybe study, pushing his glasses over the bridge of his nose, lips pursing when he tries to concentrate and his tongue poking out when he writes and scribbles down some notes <3

*heavy breathing* m.... m what have you done...

insecure!steve, slight make out, absolutely feral reader (it's me. I'm the reader.)

****

Steve is hunched over his kitchen table when you come in. He hasn't heard you yet, or he would've perked up and sought you out for kisses.

You set the tin of homemade cookies on the counter. You know Steve probably hasn't thought to eat much; ever since he threw himself into college applications, he's been somewhat of a hermit. He won't even let you help with his essays, which is very strange, but you don't question it. It's Steve's process, and whatever he needs from you, you're happy to provide.

But also: you haven't seen each other in two days, and you might go insane if you don't curl up with him on the couch soon.

You move quietly, not wanting to disturb his concentration. You place a few cookies on a plate and pour some milk from the fridge. You'd made snickerdoodles: Steve's favorite.

You pad over to the kitchen table. Steve's back faces you, shoulders curved inwards.

"Baby," you say softly, setting down the snack next to him. "You'll hurt your neck sitting like that."

You slip your hands over his shoulders and dip down to kiss his face and—oh.

You blink. Steve has... glasses?

"Hey," you start. "Where did—"

They're gone in a flash. Steve tears them off and shoves them into his pocket. His cheeks are dusted pink. You frown.

"Why'd you take 'em off, sweetie?"

Steve shakes his head.

"Didn't want you to know."

"Didn't want me to know... you wear glasses? Why not?"

Steve pushes hair behind his ear and fiddles with his pencil.

"'S stupid," he says.

"No," you reply immediately. "It's not stupid if it's making you feel bad. Tell me, baby, please?"

You sit in the adjacent chair and lean in to hold Steve's hand. You squeeze encouragingly. Steve swallows.

"People made fun 'f me," he admits quietly. "My–my dad said only weak men wear glasses."

"What? What the fuck does he know? God, what a—"

You catch yourself. Right. This is about Steve, not his prick father.

"Sorry, honey," you say. "Go on."

Steve shrugs. He's wound tightly, poised like he's ready to bolt any second.

"I've needed glasses since sixth grade. I just didn't wear them 'cause Tommy teased me. And some girls said I looked better without 'em. So I just never wore 'em. But now—" Steve swallows. "I—I guess the stuff with the Upside-Down made my vision worse 'cause the letters are too blurry for me to see without glasses."

Steve stops then. He looks at your neck, not your eyes. You realize he's waiting for you to pass judgment.

"Baby," you say. "Can you show me your glasses?"

Steve looks a little green at the request. You kiss his cheek, petting his face.

"I bet you look really cute," you add. "Bet I'll wanna kiss you till your glasses fog up."

Steve snorts at that.

"Smooth," he says. "Which one of us was the king in high school?"

You grin.

"What're you talking about, Stevie? Obviously, I ruled the school and you got all shy when I charmed your pants off."

Steve really does go shy at that. You prod his arm.

"Please, baby? I promise it's okay. Promise I won't make fun of you or laugh at you. You know I'd never do that."

Steve heaves a sigh. Then he reaches into his pocket and puts on the glasses.

The lenses are a little thick, and make Steve's big eyes even bigger. They're clear, thin frames that sit delicately on Steve's nose.

You have a visceral reaction because holy shit. Whoever said Steve looked ugly in glasses had stew for brains.

"Oh," you breathe.

"What?" Steve panics, reaching for the glasses. "What? They're bad, right? I knew I shouldn't have trusted that guy at the doctor's. He said everybody's wearing these, but—"

You stop him by his wrists. Steve looks at you, eyes wide with confusion.

"You look so good," you say.

Steve's ears go red. He ducks his head.

"You don't—you don't have to say that stuff, Y/N. I know they're dorky and—"

"No, Steve. I—fuck. You're so fucking cute."

You stand and situate yourself on his lap, straddling one thigh. You cup his face, feeling the soft skin.

"Such a pretty boy," you coo. "So, so pretty."

You take him for a proper kiss before he can argue. He follows along clumsily like maybe you really did rule the school instead of him, soft and pliant underneath.

You feel rabid. Of course, you hadn't expected Steve to look ugly in the glasses. Steve is handsome in everything. But...

You pull away. Steve's lips are swollen. His glasses are fogged up. You grin.

"Oh, baby. You've been holding out on me."

You tuck your hands behind his neck and twirl the shorter hairs there. Steve holds your hips, half-lidded.

"They really look good?" he asks, voice a little stronger.

"Yeah, sweetie. They really do. My handsome boy."

Steve swallows hard. You give him a chaste kiss on his nose and then reach behind to bring a cookie to his lips. He pouts.

"Eat," you order.

"But..." Steve openly stares at your lips.

"Eat," you say, leaning in. "And I'll fog up your glasses all you want. 'Kay?"

Steve takes the cookie.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #steve harrington imagine #inbox #blurb #m tag 🍓

[imagines--galore]

hey, first of all, hope you're doing okay!

personally, i'm obsessed with villain!reader fics, so maybe, could you write peter parker x villain!reader? could be any peter you want! just a lot of sexual tension, and a little smut too...? thank you, i love you and your writings!! 😁😁

Pairing: TASM!Peter Parker x Reader Rating || Genres || Warnings: M. Romance. Yes there is smut. Those under 18 do NOT proceed. A/N: Oooooooooo love me some villain x hero romance :3 Also I picked TASM Peter Parker because well, he deserves love ok?!?! And I need a cold shower after writing that. Phew! Also! I listened to Take My Breath Away by Berlin, and I just think it fit so WELL with the setting of the entire prompt.

It was hopeless.

He was a hero. You were a villain.

A hero and a villain.

That's what the two of you were.

On the opposite side of things.

You weren't exactly a high-profile villain, more of a hired burglar. With your ability to turn invisible and create force fields, you were the perfect candidate for carrying out burglaries that people preferred would go undetected.

You had come to be known as Obake, the Japanese word for ghost.

Though you had used your abilities for your own advantage when you were a teen, you had soon learned that it was better to have someone else pay you using your abilities. You had started to make quite the name for yourself in the underground world. And your steal streak had been spotless.

Until the night you met Spiderman.

You had been in the process of acquiring some jewelry from the safe of a well to do family and had only just stepped out on the roof when you had been startled by a human hanging upside down in front of you.

He had greeted you, to which you had thrown a punch. He had dodged, making some hilarious comment to which you had snapped back. The two of you had exchanged punches, kicks and quips for a good few minutes. Just as you were trying to one-up one another in the physical sense, it also translated to your battle of wits.

Insults, call-outs, making comments, everything was on the table. Just no name calling, you both were civilized people after all.

That first fight he had won, retrieved the jewels and left you bound in spiderweb to be collected by the police.

Which was why the next time you encountered him, you did not hold back and won, making away with the loot and leaving behind a stunned and slightly humiliated hero.

After that all your exchanges had been heated, charged almost, as if the both of you would rather see the other humiliated then anything else.

It wasn't until the third or perhaps fourth encounter that it had all culminated into something........more.

                                             ————————–

You groaned loudly as your back collided with the wall behind you. Slightly dazed you took a few moment before standing up once more and glowering at the figure in front of you.

"That all you got?" You goaded the hero, watching as he tensed and prepared to fight you once more. You were quicker this time.

Throwing out your leg, the heel of your boot caught him in the shoulder, sending him flying back just as he had done you. You were panting heavily as you took a running leap and jumped in the air. Spiderman rolled out of the way of your landing point, which would've been right in the face. "Stop squirming you little worm!" You exclaimed, starting to get frustrated.

"Worm! The name is Spiderman! Spider! Honestly at least do me the courtesy of remembering my name while you're trying to pummel me." He responded as he blocked one of your punches only to throw one at your face as well.

Spinning you quickly dodged his punch with a swipe of your arm. "I'll show you that courtesy when you act like a gentleman and stay still so I can punch you." You retorted, throwing forward a force field to try and push him back. But he only jumped out of the way, prompting you to let out an angry growl.

Whatever he had been about to say was cut off with the sudden appearance of several armed men. The both of you paused, unsure of whose side they were on as they all pointed guns in both your direction.

"Give back what you stole." One of them said, prompting you to drop in a fighting stance, already planning your escape route. "This was supposed to be a party of two, gentlemen. It was rather rude of you to crash it." Spiderman's voice came from behind you, prompting you to roll your eyes at him. Unaware to both the hero and the men, you created a force field around you and Spiderman.

And not a moment too soon.

Suddenly the room was echoing with the sounds of bullets being fired. Spiderman had moved to jump out of the line of fire, only to crash into your force field.

You grunted, trying your best to keep the force field up despite the multiple bullets ricocheting off the surface. "Did you just save me?!" Spiderman asked, his voice betraying his surprise as he came to stand next to you.

"You can thank me later."

The bullets were bouncing off the force field and flying in every direction. They managed to hit several of the gunmen, making them drop to the ground as they howled with pain.

Once the attack had subsided you lowered the shield, looking around at the injured men as they clutched at their bleeding wounds. At least the ones that were still alive. "Well that was eventful!" Spiderman stated, looking around as well.

You gave him a look, unaware that a gunman right behind you had found enough strength in him to lift his gun and pull the trigger.

It all happened in a single moment.

You felt Spiderman tense in front of you, saw him leap forward and wrap one arm around your waist, while the other one flew up to shoot a web which he used to pull the both of you upwards.

The bullet just grazed the tips of your shoes as it went flying right where your chest had been not a second ago.

Once you managed to gather your wits, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, and didn't protest as he swung the both of you away from the place of attack.

He stopped once there were several buildings between both of you and the gunmen. He lowered you to the ground but still kept his arm around you. "Are you hurt?" He asked, watching as you tried to gather your breath after your first time swinging with him like that.

Finally, you looked at him, the white of your domino mask wide. "Y-you saved me?" He actually scratched the back of his head as he shrugged. "Well, you saved me." He retorted as a way of arguing back. "Guess we saved one another."

Your arms were still locked around his shoulders, and his were around your waist. And the both of you were close.

Very very close.

He was the one who leaned forward first, pressing what you assume were his lips against your own. The fabric of his mask came in the way, but for a brief moment you felt the warmth of his breath against your lips before he pulled back again.

You didn't know what compelled you to do what you did next. But he certainly didn't stop you. Your arms shifted as your fingers found the edge of his mask and pushed the fabric up to reveal his mouth.

You were only given a moment to take in the newly revealed skin. To marvel at how pink his lips were, before he descended on you once more. There was no semblance of softness in the kiss. It was heated to it's very core. Not to mention messy.

Your bodies almost appeared to be glued together as you kissed. He bit your lip, prompting you to catch his tongue and suck. Neither of you were shy when it came to exploring the other's body. Even through the costume you picked up on just how fit he was.

"M-maybe we should-" Whatever he had been about to say was cut off when you jumped up to wrap your legs around his waist and kiss him once more. You bit his lip, taking his soft gasp of surprise as an invitation to explore his mouth with your tongue.

He walked forward, your back hitting the wall, as he returned the kiss with just as much aggression as you showed it. "Just shut up Spidey." You advised into his mouth. He only moaned in agreement, his hands greedily mapping out your curves, before settling under your ass and squeezing slightly.

The act was one you hadn't been expected, prompting you to pull back from the kiss. As soon as he was free, Spiderman busied his lips with sucking, licking and biting the exposed skin of your neck, collar and shoulders. The design of your costume left little to the imagination, yet was still classy enough to not have you being mistaken for an easy lay.

Your fingers gripped the fabric at the back of his mask, yanking his head back so you could better access his bare chin and jaw. Given that he was fully costumed, you would just have to make do with what you had. Your lips latched on to a small area just under his chin and began to suck and bite. Seems you were intent on leaving behind a mark. And he let you.

And once you had had your fill, his gloved fingers came to grip the hair at the back of your head and pull you back. Your mouth released his skin with a loud pop.

"Shit." You whimpered as he ran his teeth along your collarbones, your chest heaving, feeling strained and tight against the fabric of your top. A small cry left your swollen lips as he bit your earlobe, before running his tongue along the smarting skin. The act was enough to compel you to thrust your hips against his, earning a low groan from the hero.

He continued to map your skin with kisses and bites, leaving behind several red patches of skin. Your hands had continued to run along the length of his body, and you could tell he loved it.

So lost were the two of you in your embrace that it was the sound of a nearby police siren that had him pulling away.

With heaving chests and swollen lips, the two of you stared at one another. Slowly he set you back down and stepped away. You suddenly felt very cold at not having his warm body so close to your own. He readjusted his mask, while you straightened your clothes.

Spiderman glanced back at you, and you stared back. But then you blinked, and he was gone.

                                             ————————–

Your next encounter would be more then you bargained for.

It had all the makings of a good heist movie.

There was a masquerade ball, villains milling all around, and a safe somewhere in the gorgeous mansion that had something in it with your name on it.

You had dressed carefully for the event, styling yourself to appear as one of the many elite villains that shook hands with the senators, mayors, politicians, and businessmen. They were all in league, which you didn't find surprising. The entire point of the masquerade was to make connections without knowing who the other person was.

And it also provided you with the opportunity to carry out your job. No one had hired you to do it, it had been more of a personal affair.

A girl had to eat in-between jobs.

You were sipping on a champagne flute, watching and waiting for the right moment to slip away. The dress you wore had more then a few men approach you with a proposition. And the mask you had adorned, only added to your allure. Which you denied of course. You weren't about to let anyone distract you from your true intentions.

Finally, you were able to slip out of the ballroom, and once making sure no one saw you, you began to steal your way through the darkened empty hallways. You had already memorized the blueprints of the mansion, but it took you some time to navigate your way through the seemingly endless hallways.

But you managed to find your way just fine. And once the safe was empty, the jewelry inside tucked away in the voluminous fabric of your dress, you gave yourself a metaphorical pat on the back on a job well done, and began to make your way back to the Ballroom.

                                             ————————–

However, as you walked back, you had a sneaking suspicion that you were being followed.

Quickly activating your powers, you made to conceal yourself in the shadows as you waited for the person to make themselves known.

Said person dropped down from the ceiling landing in a perfect crouch. Your eyes widened at the familiar figure. Though he was dressed in a tuxedo with a simple black mask covering the top half of his face, you knew who it was.

A little peeved that he was there to stop you, you couldn't help but reach into your garter and pull out a small knife which you threw in his direction. Of course, given his reflexes he caught it mid air.

"I know you're there, Obake." He called out, staring in your general direction. With a sigh you stepped out, allowing yourself to be visible to him as you did. You didn't miss the way he completely went still at your appearance. Ruby painted lips pulled in a smug smile as you shifted where you stood, being sure your leg was completely visible where there was a slit in your dress. "I didn't know you attended Villain parties, Spidey." You said, enjoying how his gaze traveled the length of your exposed leg. You would be lying if you didn't say that having him be completely mesmerized by your appearance didn't stroke your ego a little bit.

"Well I have to bust out my acting chops every now and then to do some spy work. Can't let you always play dress up." He reached up to straighten his bow tie, leaving it even more crooked then it was before. You shook your head, before approaching him. Reaching up you straightened his bow tie, allowing the tips of your fingers to teasingly graze against the exposed skin of his throat.

This had to be the most you had seen him. Your fingers slipped from his throat, only for your hands to come to a rest on his chest.

Your gazes locked and neither of you could look away.

This was the first time your eyes locked without the white lenses of your masks in the way.

Which meant it was the first time you were seeing his eyes and he was seeing yours.

They were brown. A dark brown that had a softness to it that you had never seen in eyes before. They captivated you, and despite your best efforts to look away you just couldn't.

Then again he wasn't any better. He was staring back at you with just as much fascination as you felt.

You would've thought your brain would be too frazzled to make a remark. "Who knew you had such pretty eyes under that mask Spidey." You heard yourself say, the corner of your mouth pulling up in half a smile.

"Its my true superpower." He quipped back his voice sounding breathless. Maybe he was remembering the kiss the both of you had shared not too long ago?

Suddenly he stiffened. His eyes drifted to a spot above your shoulder. His hands came up to grasp your arms as he pulled you into a darkened corner. "Someone's coming." He said.

You could simply turn both him and yourself invisible. It was easy enough to do.

"Maybe if we pretend we were just sneaking off to make out or something, they won't notice us." You whispered. His hands still gripped your shoulders as he looked at you. Suddenly feeling foolish for even suggesting it, you made to shake your head and opened your mouth to tell him to disregard what you had just said.

You were unable to do so, when he suddenly pulled you flush against him and joined your lips in a dance they had done once before.

It was as if something flipped inside you and your body knew exactly what it had to do. Your arms wound around his shoulders. His hands were roaming whatever he could touch. And wherever he did, your skin burned under your dress. You shuddered as he continued to stroke along the length of your body.

Your fingers snaked up to grip his hair. It was so soft, prompting you to dig your nails into his scalp. He let out a loud groan when you did that, causing you to smile against his lips. But he got his revenge when he caught a patch of your skin between his teeth and began to stroke it with his tongue. Your legs nearly gave out from under you when he did that.

But he didn't stop there.

Taking advantage of the very very low neck of the dress he continued to travel downwards, his mouth and tongue stroking every inch of skin as he went. His hands found the slit in your dress, which he pushed aside to reveal your bare leg to him. Somehow you found yourself with your back against the wall, with Spiderman kneeling in front of you with his lips pressing kisses all along the length of your leg.

Heat coiled in your stomach and threatened to release at any moment. But you held it in check. As his mouth ascended, you found yourself wishing that the both of you were in another location. A location where this could go further.

All the way.

Once his mouth reached your thigh, you reached down to pull him back up by his hair. He wasted no time to fuse your lips together once more, tongues battling for dominance as you tried your best to make this moment last as long as you could.

You felt someone pass behind you. They didn't even give a glance in your direction before they disappeared around the corner.

Spidey was the first one to pull back. His hair was tousled, his mask a little lopsided. His eyes still held that cloud of lust which you were sure hung in your eyes as well. Your red lipstick had bled all around his mouth, prompting you to reach out and gently try to rub it away with your thumb.

You stopped though, once you caught sight of the look he was giving you. There was an almost feverish look in his eyes as he held your gaze. Even if you wanted to turn away, you couldn't.

Leaning forward you watched as he turned his head, as if physically restraining himself from kissing you anymore. But that was not your plan.

Instead your warm lips found his neck. Placing a sensual kiss against his warm skin, and leaving behind an imprint of your red lips. You didn't pause, instead you continued to leave kisses along his neck. You only pulled back once you were sure you had imprinted on every inch of his neck and jaw. A deep sigh, one full of longing, escaped your parted lips as your fingers stroked along the sharp cut of his jaw.

"One of these days, we will have to finish what we start." He whispered to which you gave a wry smile. "A little too confident are we Spidey?" You responded, to which he smiled back at you. Still you leaned up to whisper something in his ear. He gave you a startled look, but you only winked at him before disappearing from his arms.

                                             ————————–

The curtains were drawn, but the floor to ceiling windows were open, allowing the soft sheer fabric to flutter in the breeze. There was only a little moonlight, enough to allow you to see where you walked, but dark enough that all you could make out were the silhouettes of everything around you.

You were still in your dress from earlier that evening, though you had taken off your heels, jewelry, mask and makeup. You were seated at the vanity, lost in thought and absentmindedly running a brush through your hair as you did. Your mind was occupied by the thoughts of a certain spider-themed hero.

You hadn't been able to not think of your first kiss with him. It had excited you in ways you had never been before. Had sparked a flame in you that had only ever simmered in the past.

When you were with Spiderman, it ignited into a raging inferno.

A ridiculous notion, and yet you could not stop thinking about him since that day. Perhaps that was why you had kissed him tonight once more. You had been curious to know if it was a one time thing. But when he had kissed you back, you couldn't help but want more.

And you still wanted more.

Which was why you had whispered a location and a name in his ear before parting.

The sound of someone landing on the balcony outside alerted you to his presence. You didn't need to turn around to confirm who it was. You knew his footfalls by heart by now. You closed your eyes, breathing deeply to calm your suddenly racing heart.

You felt him come to a stop behind you.

"I didn't think you'd come." You said, your voice barely above a whisper as you felt bare fingers run along the side of your shoulder. Was he still wearing his tux?

"Its rude to keep a lady waiting." He responded, his voice much lower then you had ever heard before. His fingers played with the side of your dress, before slowly lowering it down to expose your shoulder. You stood up, turning around to face him. In the darkened room you couldn't make out his face, but you knew he had removed his mask as well.

Your fingers found his bow tie which you undid, before slowly starting to unbutton his shirt. "As delicious as you looked wearing the tux, I think I prefer you in red and blue." You whispered softly to him, undoing the final button and watching as he shrugged out of both his shirt and his jacket, leaving his torso bare.

"I, however, prefer this dress." He whispered before he took a step forward to run a finger down the length of your exposed skin at the front. "But at the moment, I would prefer you out of it." His words prompted you to reach behind and pull down the zipper of the dress. Given the heavy fabric of the skirts it dropped to the floor, pooling around you.

He inhaled a sharp breath, and you could only imagine how his brown eyes would roam your naked body. You had forgone a bra, since the dress came with one sewn in it. So all that left you in was a pair of silk panties that were beginning to get very very uncomfortable against your burning skin.

Your hands made quick work of his belt, before he pushed down his trousers and took off his shoes and socks, leaving him in just his boxer shorts.

For a few moments, the both of you simply stood there.

There was just something so intimate about that moment. Standing in the dark, naked. You didn't even know his name, and yet here you were, trusting him completely in that moment. Just as he trusted you.

You were the first to reach out, and he took your hand, slowly pulling you close. Your mind was clouded with need, so much so that you nearly missed when he whispered something.

"Peter."

You paused for a brief moment, before you let out a soft laugh. "Y/n. But you already knew that." You were referring to the fact that you had already told him your first name.

Your arms were around one another, and your lips picked up from where they had left off. The last of your barriers slipped away and all that remained was you and him.

In that moment nothing else mattered.

Not the fact that you were a thief and he was a hero. Not the fact that you knew next to nothing about him, just as he knew nothing about you.

As his mouth pressed greedy and hurried kisses all along the side of your neck before descending to the top of your breasts all sense of thought and common sense, whatever was left of it, abandoned you completely.

With how close your bodies were pressed against one another, you could feel him against you. And that only served you to spur him on. A firm pull on his shoulder, and you allowed yourself to fall back on top of the bed just behind you. In a moment Peter was above you, caging you with his arms as he turned his attention to the rest of your body.

With every brush of his hand and his mouth, you arched against him, content on simply laying there and enjoying the attention he showered you with. You would return the favor in due time, but for now, it seemed he was much eager to please you. Probably a male thing.

Not that you were complaining.

The final garment you wore was slipped off, as did his. Your eyes followed as he crawled above you. You reached up to kiss him, arching your body against his to tease him further. Your hands roamed his chest, and you let out a small moan of desire when you felt his sculpted body under your fingers.

Oh you would definitely have fun with him later.

For now though, your bodies pressed together in an embrace that had both of you reaching the height of your passion. You called out to him, clawing at his back as he took you. On his part, he moaned your name against your lips, panting, his entire body shuddering with the effort to stop himself from getting to rough.

Although once you yanked at his hair and threatened to leave him high and dry if he didn't stop holding back, he let go.

You had no idea what happened next. All you felt was an agonizing yet delicious heat coursing through your veins, as your body arched underneath him. Your nails dug into his back, as his name fell from your lips like a broken prayer. Over and over and over. Your head spun at the intensity of your pinnacle, but that didn't stop you from seeking out his lips and kissing him messily, teeth and tongue.

Your bodies were covered in sweat from your excursions, but neither of you were willing to pull away. At least not completely.

You didn't know what the future would bring for the both of you, but as you lay in his arms in the aftermath of your coupling you found you didn't really care.

Whatever would come, or wouldn't come, you were ready to fight for it. And as Peter pressed one final kiss to the top of your head, you know he would too.

#tasm! peter x reader #peter parker x reader tasm #tasm! peter parker x y/n #tasm! peter parker x reader #peter parker x reader #the amazing spiderman

[duchezss]

Honestly I think jwcc is gonna be roman empire forever, more specifically S4 and 5, because of how much the writers ruined all of their characters arcs and growths.

I think S1-3 were just perfect. Ok maybe they weren't actually perfect, but for they were setting out to do it was superb. The writers were establishing dynamics and relationships and conflicts, external and internal, so well. It's almost hard to believe that such a grounded brilliant story fell apart in the last two seasons. I generally cannot fathom how they were the same writers. For example, in S3 Ben and Darius have this long arc about forgiving each other and coming to understand each other after the monorail. It was beautiful and slow paced and just a great character study. So when the end of S3 happened, and Darius and Kenji were clearly fighting, I figured they would kinda do the same thing for them. Instead the two forgave each other in less then five minutes and then they just never speak on it again. I can't be only one that just finds that so odd?

Another thing I think really ruined the show was the forced romance between Brooklynn and Kenji. It was out of left field, it didn't make sense, and it completely undermined their characters. To me, the show always presented their bond as brother and sister, but honestly if the writers had done it better maybe (MAYBE) I could've gotten behind it. They just made it so hard to route for them. First of all because of the romance, the two of them weren't really allowed to interact with the others. Like yes they did, but not in meaningful ways like they had before. Also something that irks me to no end is them playing off Kenji so vigorously trying to save Brooklynn at the end of S3 only because he had a crush on her. That's such a misinterpretation of his character, because S3 Kenji would've acted like that if ANY of the crew were in that situation. They became the only family he ever had, and to say that all of that was just because of a crush? Oh don't get be started. Also it just made Brooklynn a shell of the character she once was. I was so upset in S5 when the only thing she got to do was mope about Kenji's betrayal. She deserved more development and screen time, and just everything really. Their romance did a huge disservice to them both.

Third point, I really hate how they played off everyone not having PTSD, especially Darius. I was very happy that Yaz had that arc in S5 and how they showed how it really got to her. But when the rest of the group said everyone was fine, especially Darius? The same Darius that felt endlessly burdened with leading? The same Darius that had nightmares about his father and Ben after he lost them? The same Darius that let everything get to him even when he knew it shouldn't? THE SAME CHARACTER THAT WAS ALONE ALL OF S4 AND THE WRITERS DID NOTHING WITH??? Ohhhh one day these writers will pay for the way they sidelined THEIR MAIN CHARACTER. Darius deserved that arc, and he deserved an arc that allowed him to step out of the leadership role. Like yes that was technically S4, but it was handled in such a bad way and it really didn't present any growth for him or the crew. Just a wasted opportunity.

I think at their core, the problems with S4 and S5 lie with the direction the writers wanted to take it. As soon as the group ended up at this highly technological island I knew it was over. Not to say advanced stuff is bad, the hybrids were always sick, and I even thought the mind controlling was a good moral dilemma, but everything else? It was so tiring and frustrating, like damn I don't care about the brads or this island, or these random ass characters you introduced. I think the writers just really lost sight of what made the show so great in the first place, the main characters. Yes the plot was amazing, but the brilliant cast of characters and their ever changing dynamics and lives was what really brought it home. When you erase all of the development you've been building up for three seasons in favor of a incredulously complicated and over done plot that side lined your main cast what can you expect? It seems voltron was in fact a harbinger for this show. One day dreamworks will learn how to not fall off mid show, but it appears that's not any time soon.

#jwcc #jurassic world camp cretaceous #jurassic world #jurassic world chaos theory #darius bowman #ben pincus #kenji kon #sammy gutierrez #yasmina fadoula #brooklynn jwcc #THEY ARE NEVER FAR FROM MY MIND #Not to be cringe #but I generally think I know these characters better than the writers #like they just didn't get them like me idk #s4 and s5 are barely canon to me #I just take the tiny pieces I like and forget the rest lmaooo

[daemon-in-my-head]

Hi. I'm bored. And incredibly sleep-deprived. So let me try and fix the loopholes Larian left behind when doing that whole durge/chosen of the dead 3 plotline.

Let's start with the obvious: Durge is a titan. Even if we ignore that Durge is what would happen if Bhaals pinkie decided to gain conciseness of its own, Orin is brutal. She's strong. And while she's a chosen, she's also a 2nd Gen Bhaalspawn. She hardly has any "taint" worth mentioning that could enhance her abilities, no divine spark, but Durge does. Pretadpole Durge is a menace and a savage. Look at Gortash's decked-out stats while being only level 9 and the thinker rather than the murderer. Durge most definitely was even more fearsome before the parasitic nerf.

With that established, let me claim the following: Durge is immortal. Age, sickness, poison, etc can not kill them. But legendary weapons can, although even in that case, by the grace of being a titan, Bhaal can revive them if he wants to. They are not invincible or smth. They can be hurt and all, but the damage wont be as severe for most instances, so long as there arent any cut off parts or scooped out brains. Durge would need the proper revival to reclaim that, really rebuild the body u know? Well, this also means Kressas little fun project could've never killed Durge. They would've simply felt like they were dying the entire time without getting the sweet release that would've been death. Or maybe at one point they did, but seeing how the Absolutes plot wasn't done yet Bhaal immediately pressed the undo button.

Speaking off, Durge longs for death. They see beauty in obliteration. It just sucks they can't die until Bhaal allows them to. This also explains why they're still alive and why Bhaal killed them in a redemption ending. It takes a deity or a legendary weapon to kill a titan.

Regarding weapons, guess how exactly the alliance didn't falter for as long as Durge was there but shattered the second Orin took over? Neither Ketheric nor Gortash have a legendary weapon. Orin is the only one who does, and it's a ceremonial blade set she most likely stole off of Durge's knocked-out body. Even if they wanted to kill Durge, before the plan concluded, they could hardly do it, and even if they had wounded Durge severely, they would've killed them first before Daddy Bhaal would revive them because their job here wasn't done yet.

It takes another titan or a god to kill one, so the only people capable of doing so are Bhaal and Durge. Sure other gods, too, but they're forbidden from meddling, and everyone still remembers what happened the last time a certain Tyrant pissed off Ao.

As for why Orin attacked them? Siblings. That's the only explanation you need, really. Durge prayer probably pissed her off, and she just did the sibling thing, that is, maim her bloodkin. Probably stuffed a tadpole in there when Durge didn't get up in time so Orin would have an excuse before Bhaal.

This also gives us 2 options why Gortash did nothing despite expecting the Brain to transform.

1; better chances at killing Durge when it would eventually come down to it. A netherbrain infused with Netherese Magic (which is also Durges Origin btw, Bhaal was netherese himself) simply has better odds against a quasi deity than a human does.

2; he was convinced they'd ascend as gods themselves. Durge was already a quasi deity so the last bit wouldn't have been hard. And with a deity on your side surely even a netherbrain is no challenge.

Now back to unholy thoughts-

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 durge #durge #dark urge #lord gortash #bg3 gortash

[pomplalamoose]

i love your works so much 😭 is it ok if I request some hc’s of your dilf!luke being jealous 🫶🫶

A thousand times yes, anon! It's more than absolutely okay, I actually giggled when I saw your request bejfjjedige thank you so much for your ask and your kind, supportive words😭🫶🏻

(I apologize in advance for any spelling errors or grammar mistakes I might've made! I'm posting this in a hurry but will be going over all of it again later <3)

• because of Dilf!Luke's authoritative streak and the tendency to be quiet possessive, I definitely see him as as someone who gets jealous easily

• he's not proud of it though, maybe even ashamed, and thus tries to keep it hidden as one of the aspects he doesn't like about himself

• furthermore he's aware his behavior led to more than just a few arguments with his former lovers, so, when he first decided he wanted a relationship with you, he knew he needed to better himself

• much easier said than done though

• naturally he can't change over night, can't abruptly stop what so easily rises to the surface

• since modern day Dilf!Luke was never subjected to Obi-Wan's and Yoda's teachings, he kept some mannerisms and ways that would've otherwise changed and while he's still, above all things, a kind-hearted, caring and gentle man, his impatience and quick-temper often tend to get the better of him

• not as well balanced he's impulsive and stubborn, either acting and speaking on his feelings before thinking about the consequences, or not at all

• especially because everything you are, everything about you, has him struggling to keep his emotions under proper control

• he can't believe it himself, how hard he fell for you, never would've expected to be swept off his feet like that and is now absolutely overwhelmed with all of what is going on inside of him

• still you deserve a trusting and loving partner and he's set on being that for you no matter how difficult it is for him to keep his temper in check

• athough it definitely took him a while to arrive at this conclusion, he now understands that it's mostly his own insecurities he gets upset about when he sees you with someone else

• I really believe he learned from the mistakes he made in the past and, going forward, does his best to deal with his jealousy on his own

• while I don't think he'd go as far as to actually open up about his feelings fully, he'd put a lot of effort into looking up the topic to better understand himself

• only if it gets especially bad he might gather all of his courage to initiate a conversation about it but rarely/never in a way that's accusing you of anything

• he knows better than that

• possibly you won't even notice he's being jealous with how elegantly he handles certain situations anyways

• though you can be sure none of those coming face to face with him have anything to laugh about

• while most of the time he successfully manages to keep himself under control, respectfully letting you decide how to handle an admirer yourself, he can't always help it

• staying very much true to the motto "what my partner doesn't know, won't upset them", Luke never fails to remain ostensibly polite while absolutely dishing out behind your back if he sees fit

• he knows how intimidating he can be and makes good use of it too

• not that he needs to fall back on any of his harsher methods often, most of the time just a single look of his is enough to make the person in question retreat

• this usually happens when you're out and about and, most importantly, without your knowledge

• why upset you unnecessarily?

• maybe you're going for a nice walk or out on a date, maybe you're visiting a museum or a pretty café

• or maybe it's during grocery shopping that someone catches Luke's attention because of the way they're eyeing you from afar

• (unknown to you this happens pretty often and he doesn't really mind someone taking a quick glance)

• (you're beautiful and he can't fault anyone for noticing)

• (plus it makes him super proud he's the one you chose to be with)

• (nevertheless he won't tolerate people leering at you openly, it drives him crazy, HE'S the only one allowed to look at you like that)

• no matter the circumstances and how much is blood is boiling, he will make sure you're properly distracted before taking care of it though

• "will you go ahead and order for us, sweetheart?"

• "oh what's that? did your favorite author publish a new book? I haven't seen this one yet"

• "what would you like for dinner tomorrow? Do you think those tomatoes look good enough?"

• "try that on for me, please, I'm sure you'll look stunning"

• then, as soon as your focus is elsewhere he'll abruptly turn around, sternly glaring at whoever is lingering about, a silent challenge in his eyes like he's daring them to make a move

• most falter immediately

• those who don't are quick to leave as soon as he addresses them head on

• "can I help you?"

• "is there anything you need my assistance for?"

• no one ever fails to hear the gentle warning behind his words

• rarely the both of you find yourself in a situation where Luke actually sees it fit to include you in his endeavors since he thinks it's not a very gentleman-like thing to do

• so when he does resort to it it's always in a subtle way that doesn't immediately make you question his behavior

• a hand on your back, his arm around your waist, whispering in your ear

• it's easy, really, to send an obvious signal to bystanders and to some extend he even finds himself enjoying it

• the only thing that really makes him feel as if he's about to burst is if someone starts talking to you with intent, deliberately making an effort to ignore his presence

• he trusts you to handle it well, you do so better than he ever could

• but the blatant disrespect from the person in front of you has him fuming

• if looks could kill, there'd be dead body right in front of you rather quickly

• it takes him quite a while to cool off after too, during which he goes very silent, possibly not even speaking to you

• though he'll apologize to you for his behavior later once he's trusting himself to think straight again

#ask #luke skywalker #luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker x you #luke star wars #luke skywalker fanfiction #dilf luke #dilf luke skywalker #star wars au #star wars fanfiction #star wars #star wars a new hope #star wars empire strikes back #star wars return of the jedi #fanfic #luke headcanons #star wars headcanons

[obsidiancreates]

Okay so here's how I would've done Yang 3

Let's say the Inarguable Concepts in the episode are 1) Yin dies, 2) Yang met Shawn when he was young, 3) Yang is the one who gets to kill her dad, and 4) we're drawing clear and explicit parallels between the Ying/Yang family and the Spencer family. All good points to jump off of conceptually.

First of I'm cutting Allison out, she's a strange and ill-fitting addition to this storyline and I get what they were going for... kind of... but I don't think it's Right. So she's gone.

Kick-off is Yin sending a message to the department: This is his last romp, and their last chance to serve him justice before he disappears forever. He hasn't killed anyone yet, he hasn't set up a puzzle- just sent a little notice. Puts everyone on edge.

A lot of the episode is built around a sense of Tension and Unease- they're all on a tightrope, and it's fraying. Yin is leaving little clues on how to find him, but he's escaping every time, and Shawn is getting more and more desperate and feeling more and more pressure the whole time. I think Jules's PTSD moments in the OG episode are great, so let's keep that and have it be one of Shawn's big drives to make sure they catch Yin this time- and also why he's doing most of it without telling anyone but Gus, because he doesn't want Jules having to deal with all of this so soon. Show the protectiveness, the serious side he's been burying even more than he used to since Jules and Abigail got kidnapped the last time, push him to his limits as a detective with the clues Yin gives him. He also finds that picture of him with Yang himself, which puts him into even more of a tailspin because we'll keep the element of him not remembering taking that photo.

And have this conclusion come about- chasing after Yin is never going to work. They need to bring Yin to them. Shawn and Gus visit Yang to get her help with it- and to ask about the picture, which Shawn has been avoiding even thinking about and Gus has been fixated on because Shawn doesn't forget stuff like that. So they come to Yang with an idea. They're going to set up a trap, just like Yin sets up for his victims, to lure him into the open and catch him.

And Yang refuses to help. She sits back and she pouts and she says she can't. Shawn is at a loss, until he has an idea and pulls out the picture and says "For old time's sake?" and her eyes lock onto it, and she finally agrees.

Shawn finally goes to everyone else and tells them he has a plan, they need to get Yang out for it and they need to be fast because the window is closing. They set something up- I'll admit this is all off-the-cuff so I don't have some clever elaborate trap to offer you wonderful readers at the moment, but I'm sure we can all imagine something cool and fitting as individuals. Yang helps, not only with the setup but with how to lure Yin in. I'm thinking they stage an escape for her, but given in the OG episode Yin considers her a traitor maybe not- maybe they pretend Yang has taken Shawn captive to make Yin angry that his game has been interrupted. Yes, that's it, they make Yin think the focus has been taken away from him and put onto his daughter- Yang reveals Yin is her father during the scene where Shawn and Gus convince her to help.

Yin shows up. He's characterized to be closer to Henry in this version, since there was some missed but intentional points of it in the OG episode- he criticizes Yang's work as sloppy, he says he trained her better, he tells her he's always having to come clean up her messes and screw-ups and cover for her. Maybe we use this as a catalyst for Henry- he hears some of his own words in Yin's beratements and realizes he's making the same mistakes over and over and he needs t reevaluate how he interacts with his son. Set up a character arc for Season 6 that makes Santabarbaratown hit even harder because we've just spent a whole season watching Henry and Shawn move past their dysfunctional dynamic into one that's a little healthier, a little clearer, a little better for them both, and then just when things finally don't have this constant underlying tension and resentment BAM! Henry gets shot.

But we've gotten off-topic. While Yang and the gang helped this requires Shawn to be the kind of Main brain behind this trap. Obviously Yang sort of leads him to it, as she does, but he's ultimately the one who comes up with most of this plan. They're beating Yin at his own game.

And Yin shows.

But things go wrong- Yin is able to predict some elements of the trap and he makes sure Lassie, Jules, The Chief, Henry, and whatever other backup can't get to him quite yet. It's Shawn and Gus and Yang alone, and none of them are sure what move to make now.

And Yin looks at Shawn and says "It's terrible for my apprentice, but very good for your first. I knew I saw something in you."

We establish the story behind the picture in this moment of Relative Calm through flashback, with Yin prompting Shawn's memory- Yang dropped the groceries she'd been getting out of the car and called out to ask Shawn for help as he rode by on his bike, and he stopped and helped her and Yin came out and commented on what a rare thing that is these days, a kid being willing to help out a stranger for no reward, could he take a picture of the little hero? It's Shawn, he loves attention and praise, he agrees, and Yin takes the picture and Shawn gets on his bike and then- nothing. Nothing until later when he wakes up on the ground somewhere else a couple hours later being told by a completely different concerned adult that it looks like he wrecked his bike, does he need help getting home?

He correctly concludes that Yang knocked him out, they kidnapped him- but Yang had a change of heart. Maybe Henry went around looking for his son, and Yang realized that for all their similarities (they'd been stalking him of course- Yin had planned to make Henry his next big targeted foe but Shawn proved to be intriguing and he decided to Wait) Shawn's father does love him, unlike hers. So she sneaks him out, stages a bike accident, and lets him be found.

That's why he didn't remember the picture- literal head trauma, maybe a drugging. Ties him and Yang closer together, gives a reason why Yin is also targeting him because that "Yang was obsessed, not me," stuff in the OG doesn't make sense, especially with Allison's lines about Yin praising Shawn to her.

And Yin praises Shawn again, openly, and says he's very impressed and very proud- Shawn really does have the makings of a great puppeteer, why, he barely realized this was a trap until the last minute! And sadly he'll never be able to see Shawn through to his best potential because he has to disappear now, but he'll be satisfied just knowing he put a little Crack in Shawn's life before he killed him.

That is when Yang overcomes her freeze from this confrontation and kills Yin, to protect Shawn- again, drawing parallels between her and him, with a protective rise-to-the-occassion nature. Shawn could have been her- but he had Gus, and for all Henry's faults and his (in my opinion Unforgivable) unintentional abuse he did love his son, and that made a difference.

Ends roughly the same otherwise- Yang is taken back to the care facility where she stays until The Musical, Shawn and Jules have a moment at the end that reveals their relationship to Lassie. Maybe there's an element in there of everyone else having heard Yin's little speech the whole entire time and kind of having to assure Shawn that Yin didn't know what he was talking about, Shawn could never have ended up like him or Yang, but it's clear none of them are blind to the similarities even if they're pretending to be for Shawn's sake.

And like with Mr. Yin Presents it's of course a catalyst for Shawn to disconnect from his intelligence and unpleasant emotions even more, so Season 6 continues in it's increased wackiness as before, but maybe with one or two instances of other characters pointing out that this is not a healthy way to deal with what Yin said about him- and Shawn promptly denying that's what's happening, of course.

What do y'all think? I think it ties everything up more cleanly and makes the themes and elements they were going for clearer.

#psych #psych usa #psychusa #psych 2006 #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic #shawn spencer

[bruh-myguy-what]

If Not Him, Perhaps Me

Hellooooooo frens! It has been a long, overdue update, but here we are! I've had so much going on but you guys consistently reminding me of how much you love the story has really helped me refresh my desire to continue the series! So I am so thankful! I really hope you all enjoy chapter 3! Also I apologize that it isn’t the best chapter I’ve written, but I promise to continue to make each chapter better for you guys :3

If you want to join the tag list, just let me know below in the comments!

Enjoy~

_____________________________________________

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Pairing- Thrawn x f!reader x Luke Skywalker

Summary- Luke finds out about you being taken by the Empire, and you have another encounter with the Grand Admiral.

Word Count- 2K+

Warnings- Mentions of kidnapping and imprisonment

__________________________________________

"What do you mean they took her?!" Luke's fearful tone echoed off the walls of the commissary area of the Flacon where Lando assisted Chewie in cleaning up the mess made by the intruders.

Han raised his voice over his brother's, "hey now! Don't speak to her that way, it wasn't her fault and you know it!" The older man appeared by his wife's side, arms encircling her protectively. "Besides, what did you expect her to do? She's pregnant!" Han quipped harshly, the blue of his eyes darkening as he narrowed them.

The young Jedi was silent for a long moment, eyes darting from his sister's face to her irate husband. "Well-I…" finally huffing indignantly, Luke growled to himself as his hands found his hips. "No…no, I know it isn't your fault, Leia." There was a loud roar from the other side of the ship where Chewbacca shouted his own defense. "No, it's not your fault either Chewie. I'm just…" The younger man moved one of his hands from his hip to rub the irritation away from his eyes, "this is my fault." Luke choked, placing his hand back on his hip. "I…I should've been here to protect her instead of leaving. They're only after her because of me."

Leia started forward and touched her brother's arm, "no, Luke, don't blame yourself," she insisted, "you can't blame yourself. How could you possibly know she would be in danger?"

"Leia's right, Luke," Lando piped up as he waltzed up to join the group, "none of us could've ever guessed that the Empire would've come to get her specifically. Though," he sent a glance toward the young mother, "I think we can all agree that it was better that they didn't take Leia. Who knows what they could've done to her and the kiddos." The grave tone in his voice matched Han's expression, Luke noticed, as he watched the slight movement in his wife's stomach.

A moment of silence passed between them all before Chewbacca growled softly. "Yeah, Chewie's got a point too. Blaming isn't going to get (y/n) back any sooner." Han huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest, leveling his stern gaze at Luke. "So, Jedi knight, how're you going to get your girl back?"

Ignoring the term he used to refer to you, Luke closed his eyes in thought. Maybe he could reach you through the force…? Maybe you weren't that far away yet and he could somehow reach out to you so he could tell you that he was going to save you. Surely you knew he'd come for you, right? Or had he really placed such a serious wedge between the two of you that you'd even begin to believe that he'd leave you in the hands of the Imperials? What with all of his stupid beliefs of 'Jedi having no attachments' and everything. He accepted that idea, he really did, but…the more he weighed it and considered the look on your face when you smiled at him, how could he ignore the feeling so deeply set in his heart. The way your eyes sparkled at him in the starlight…it just…

Resolutely, Luke opened his eyes and headed to the front of the Falcon.

"I'm going to find her."

_____________________________________________

The dim lights of the Grand Admiral's office were an inviting change to the glaring white lights that consistently welcomed you wherever you were led- though, the silence that plagued the room was hardly comforting.

"So," you spoke up as you crossed one leg over the other casually, the linen dress you still wore draping easily back down your legs, "are we meeting because you expect me to give you more information?" As flattering as it was to be so 'important' to someone so high in rank, the narrowed glare given to you from the other side of the desk was equally as irritating.

A soft smile appeared on the admiral's face, he thought your bitterness was humorous, did he? "Perhaps," he replied curtly, glancing away momentarily to grab his datapad, then returned his glowing eyes back to you. "Though I do marvel at your tenacity just as considerably as any useful piece of knowledge you could offer me." He sure knew how to use his genius to annoy people, huh? Before you knew it, the man behind the desk was now standing and making his way around to you. "I must also admit that I find your eagerness to face a Grand Admiral of the Imperial Navy with such fearlessness very…" he seemed to ponder to word for a second before continuing, "compelling."

Thrawn's full height was accentuated by the way he stood over you in what felt like the galaxy's shortest chair (now with him towering over you). "Well…" you choked out nervously, "I suppose since there is no empire, that means no imperial navy to be a Grand Admiral of, therefore the title has no real significance to me." He could be as intimidating as he'd like but you weren't going to back down now. You'd been here for what felt like a week and, with no real evidence of how long you'd actually been aboard the Chimera, you assumed it must've been as long as it felt- or close enough to it. You’d been sat in this specific seat multiple times during different segments of the day, the fear was starting to lose its luster. Looking up at him once again you were struck by his expression.

He was stoic. He was just gazing down at you.

"Indeed, I suppose you are correct," Thrawn covered his mouth with one of his hands- deep in thought as he removed himself from beside your seat, finding his new position beside one of the large structures holding the ysalamiri- or at least that's what he'd told you they were at another point in a different conversation. "I seem to be continually amazed by your astute wit, (y/n)." He was petting the ysalamiri before him, his broad back facing you so he was unable to see your confounded expression. Was he getting enjoyment from your responses? "I also find it amusing how you consider that I see you as a source of amusement when in fact," Thrawn twisted around to face you, his hands positioned firmly behind his back now, "you are a prisoner of mine, and whatever I desire to know you will tell me."

The red of his eyes darkened significantly enough to drive a cold chill to straight down your spine. Perhaps the Empire was no longer a danger, but this man, this alien, he sure was. Taking a beat to regain your composure, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. "A-Alright," of course, your voice would fail you now, "I understand that you are my enemy and the things I know might be crucial to you, but-"

"Tell me, (y/n)," Thrawn interrupted as if you weren't even speaking, "why are you traveling with Skywalker and his crew if you are as useless as you say?" Thrawn truly seemed curious about the answer as he made his way back in front of his desk, towering before you, awaiting your response. "What was your profession before you were a 'freedom fighter'?"

Cocking your eyebrow in challenge, you wondered where your sudden boldness came from after he was so forward about where you stood in his eyes. "Why ask if you already know?" You hated talking about the life you had before you joined the rebels. The Empire wasn't all bad, the idea anyway. You actually preferred the organized structure of the government over the scattered nightmare of the rebel cause, or even the Republic you'd learned about prior to the Empire. The current ‘New Republic’ wasn’t doing much better either. But, after meeting Luke- after he saved you- it was more of a loyalty to him than to the cause. Upon seeing that Thrawn was still silently waiting for your reply, you huffed. "Fine. I was an artist. A painter. I sketched or painted nobles, moffs," your voice trailed off and the admiral hummed in understanding.

"Admirals as well, I assume," it was less of a question and more of a statement. Of course, he knew and, rolling your eyes, you nodded.

"Yes, admirals as well. Though I suppose I wasn't in the Empire whenever you rose to command because I've never met you before now." You knew you hadn't, his warm red eyes would have been burned into your memory.

Thrawn nodded in agreement, "indeed, I myself would have remembered you." He rounded the desk to return to his seat. "Though I have seen your art before," the man commented as a hologram of a painting you'd made years prior to your disappearance materialized between you. "It is quite astounding. I enjoy art, myself. I believe it can give insight into a person, or people." He clarified coolly and you noted how intently he was studying your art. The scrutiny of one of your pieces made your cheeks warm in embarrassment, you'd not had anyone ever really stare at it the way Thrawn seemed to.

Curiosity struck you, "w-what do you see in my art?"

Thrawn seemed unfazed by your question, but took his time before replying to it all the same, "you despised your subject." The honesty struck you to the core. How could he even know that? He was completely correct, but…how? The dumbfounded look on your face caused Thrawn to continue, "but, while you hated the subject you were instructed to paint, you treasured the creation itself. Which I admire. Your talent is," the pause in his voice again made your cheeks burn as you awaited more of his surprising critique, "unmatched."

Too stunned to immediately thank him for his honesty, you blinked dumbly. Eventually, you nodded at his comments, "well…thank you," you whispered softly, hands suddenly more interesting than anything else.

"Have you made very many paintings since your disappearance from the Empire?" His question startled you slightly. Why was he so curious about your art? What was he trying to gain? Thrawn hadn't asked about it any of the other times you'd spoken recently. So why now?

Shaking your head in response, you figured it was useless to lie to him anyway. "No, unfortunately, I haven't had the time…or the funds to be able to continue." You sounded more distressed than you would've thought if asked about it. Though now that you thought about it, the topic never really came up between anyone on the Falcon.

The hologram disappeared, leaving Thrawn gazing directly at you now, scrutinizing you as if you were now the artwork. "No, I would presume not," was all that was said, simply.

Again, the silence retrieved its choking grasp on the atmosphere and you glanced up at the exact moment the Grand Admiral waved his hand in his normal dismissal, "you are free to go for the evening." His tone was casual yet as stern and stoic as usual, but not having the white-clad troopers come in to grab you and lead you out was…new. So, awkwardly, you stood from your seat and waited a moment, quizzically looking at Thrawn. After a few seconds of no argument from the admiral, you slowly made your way to the door, jumping only a little as it whooshed open revealing Rhuk.

"Come now, Rhuk," you heard Thrawn chide stoically from his desk, "do not scare my informant. She is," he caught your eye with a small smile, "essential." The look in his eye seemed mischievous but you weren't certain if that was something you should be worried about.

As you returned to your cell, you settled down for the night on the solid structure they called a bed on this ship. "Alright, before you get all cozy," you heard a familiar trooper voice and sighed when you had to sit back up. You weren't as annoyed with the troopers anymore, they'd actually kept decent company and most of them were kind enough.

Once fully sat up, a trooper reached through the bars and held out a larger notebook full of paper. Curiously, you reached out and took it, along with the set of pencils given to you. "W-What is this?"

The trooper shrugged, the plastoid tapping against itself with the movement. "Beats me," he replied, "the admiral asked one of us to bring it to you. He said you deserved to continue what you love, even as a prisoner." Then the trooper was gone.

Gaping at the notebook in awe, you were awestruck, silent. Thrawn gave you this notebook? Out of…generosity? 'There's no way,' you thought to yourself as you set back against the wall connected to your cot, opening the notebook. Upon the first page was a beautifully written script, reading; 'I thoroughly acknowledge that you will see this as a means to acquire additional information from you, however; I would find it regrettable if you were incapable to resume such excellent work due to confinement. I, myself, am not an artist, though I can speculate how it must feel to be suffocated by the inability to do what one loves. So please, sketch. Thrawn.'

Tags:

@blueberry-thrawn @myevilmouse @agenteliix @blackmonitor @coffeeorsomething-irl @torchbearerkyle @rebelmarylou @danger-xylophones

#luke skywalker x fem reader #luke skywalker x you #luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker #skywalker #thrawn #thrawn x reader #thrawn fanfic #mitthrawnuruodo #star wars fanfic #fanfiction #thrawn x reader x luke skywalker #grand admiral thrawn #chiss ascendancy #senior captain thrawn #if not him perhaps me #chapter 3

[saglaophonos]

how do you think the last ten minutes could have been better set up? because i have Ideas but i’m also a fool. a fool who did feel the pacing of season two was Off and would not at all have expected the kiss at the end had it not been spoiled for me.

i think the last ten minutes had two glaring set-up problems which were 1. it is way too easy to side with crowley in the break up and 2. aziraphale's decision to go back to heaven seems jarring. and sure, you can argue that you're meant to read them as both at fault, and that aziraphale's current character arc does align with his choice. and youd be right. but also if i had done it, it would've been better. 

1. too easy to side with crowley (crowley needs to be more at fault)

the scene where crowley goes to heaven and learns about the second coming should've happened in episode 3 while aziraphale was in edinburgh. and crowley shouldve spent the next couple of episodes weighing whether or not he should tell aziraphale about what he knows. this would've continued & escalated the conflict of episode one, as crowley knows that telling aziraphale would spur him into action, but crowley's priority is keeping them and their "peaceful existence" undisturbed.

then in episode 5, i would tweak the sequence that starts with nina calling out crowley. crowley's reaction reads as "oh no i'm in love with aziraphale!" and my tweak is it shouldve been "oh no i can't hide my love for aziraphale anymore. i can't avoid the situation coming to a head any longer". crowley is avoidant. avoids external conflicts (the second coming) & avoids internal conflict (feelings for aziraphale). the ep 5 sequence ends with crowley's same conversation with gabriel and he decides that in order to keep them safe, he has to keep aziraphale in the dark about both things.

having crowley make the choice to not communicate with aziraphale be what indirectly leads to aziraphale accepting the archangel position in heaven would be a more satisfying way to punish crowley for his avoidant tendencies, while also bringing into larger emphasis for the viewer that this is something crowley still needs to work out on a character level, but also for their relationship to progress. then, you don't need the fanfictiony "maggie and nina tell crowley to confess" scene, because the reason why crowley confesses becomes obvious within the breakup scene itself. crowley realizes he caused the situation they're in by avoiding the issue; his next strategy is to force them both to confront the issue directly.

2. aziraphale's decision feels really s1 (establish motivation earlier)

okay the aziraphale fix i'll be more brief about. first of all, say you go the above route. having crowley worry that aziraphale would try to prevent the second coming if he found out about it wouldve helped lay the groundwork of explaining aziraphale's choice. but i wouldve also done the following 

the fact that aziraphale really didn't care about maggie and nina getting together until he lied to heaven about it was such a missed opportunity. if aziraphale is insistent that he must and can fix heaven, that could've easily been mirrored though this plot. the aziraphale & maggie scene in episode 1 should've had aziraphale genuinely moved by maggie's plight - instead of brushing her off, he shouldve gotten invested on a personal level. maybe he just wants them to be happy, maybe its made more blatant that he sees the two as parallels for himself & crowley. idk. either way getting them together because of the miracle lie shouldve only been a secondary concern to him. it shouldve been personal. because the plot is all about how, no matter how much aziraphale would like to control the situation and manipulate it into going the way he thinks it ought to go, some things in life are simply beyond your control. but aziraphale can't see that, which would've more blatantly set up his motivation when he makes the choice to go back to heaven. aziraphale cannot reconcile with injustice; yet, in the same way you can't force two people to fall in love, you can't fix heaven.

and honestly? honestly you could tweak more. something you could really tweak for a better set up into episodes 5 & 6, but especially the last ten minutes, is 1941. anyway! can't wait for s3. hope they kiss!

#for the record i do not care that good omens 2 is bad lol #ask #good omens #meta

[bonny-kookoo]

will we ever find out why joon is so against hybrids? im thinking maybe he had a bad experience with one before… like maybe he adopted a hybrid but they didn’t trust him so they ran away and now he just doesn’t like hybrids?

It's quiet in his home, no lights turned on as he sits in front of his bedroom closet, box in his lap. The words Yoongi had thrown at him had punched him harder than the producer would've ever been able to.

"-and don't you dare try and contact authorities about this!" His friend's voice echoes in his mind.

Namjoon knows it's not all that simple. There's no way to just undo what has been done, no good option available to simply remove those hybrids from his friends lifes to spare them the hurt that might be inevitable. They're idols. Busy. No private life. Always in danger of being dragged into something that might end their entire career in a heartbeat. It's not only Jungkook or Yoongi he's scared for- but those hybrids as well.

"They're not pets for fuck's sake!" He hears both of his bandmates in his head, and he knows that. He knows it probably just as well as they do.

It's been two years almost. It's going to be next month, on the thirteenth. And yet he still can't look at the green metal tag in the box, one he's seen Jungkook's hybrid wear as well. It's the international standard color for category 3 hybrids- it's not a surprise they're similar.

The design isn't the same, Jungkook's hybrid probably having received a newer version at some point, since the tags have to be renewed every year.

"But- you told me that I'd still be able to at least see her once in a while!" He'd argued with his management, having asked for where they'd brought you after workers had picked you up a few days prior.

"Namjoon-ssi, it's better this way." They'd explained to him. "With everything going on right now, it'll be easier to handle it all without the added burden of a hybrid." They'd told him.

"Thats not for you to decide!" He'd yelled, panic setting in as the reality slowly became too apparent to him. He hadn't just given you into temporary care. He'd given you away. He'd promised you, as you'd been crying the day before they took you, that it wasn't how it seemed. That he would always come see you. That he would get you back full time as soon as he could manage.

To you, it now must've seemed as if he lied. He himself at least feels as if he did, even if he didn't even know that what he said wasn't true.

Do you hate him now?

Surely you do, if you even remember him these days. He'd searched every shelter for your name, your ID number, everything, and nothing ever came of it- so you must have a new home at this point. He hopes you're happy.

He just wants to protect his bandmates from all of this.

Jungkook is easy to manipulate in his eyes. He would definitely fall for the same lies they've told the bandleader back then as well- and he doesn't want to imagine how devastated the youngest of the group would be if his hybrid, his partner, was to be taken away like that.

And with Yoongi, it's even worse, since he wouldn't even have a choice. If he wasn't to give his hybrid up voluntarily, there would be other options to get her taken by the system itself with just a call.

Namjoon closes the box again, burying it in the corner of his closet where he keeps it safe. He knows he'll come back to it just like tonight, whenever he feels like he needs to at least remember a little bit when it was all alright. When things were okay.

Maybe he should change his ways. Maybe he should start to try and protect both or his bandmates from this not by doing the same his management had done to him in the past- but by trying to be an example of what not to do. But at this point, with Yoongi clearly angry at him, and Jungkook more or less equally hostile, he's not sure if that's even an option any longer.

Maybe he's just doomed to lose.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #namjoon imagine #hybrid imagine

[indierpgnewsletter]

All the TTRPGs I Played in 2023

So it's about halfway through the year and I wanted to talk about all the gaming I've done this year. I've learned a lot this year - about games, definitely, but mostly about how I like to play them. And the big learning for me is around prep. I don't particularly enjoy prepping for games as a GM. So I tried to run a bunch of different games this year without any prep and basically, these games were less fun than I hoped for. So basically I've realized I either do the prep... or I play games that are explicitly designed with support for no prep or low prep play. Right now, I'm leaning towards the latter.

Anyway, here's wonderwall:

Spire (7 sessions, player): This is a game about being a dark elf freedom fighter or terrorist, more or less That's a tough premise honestly. I think I wanted to play it straight - blood and tragedy. But it's probably best served with a huge dollop of irony or comedy. Like many, many people have said before, the setting is the star here and in future, I'd probably play it with something more forged in the dark. I converted the playbooks a long time ago but haven't done anything with them. I've scribbled some notes for the Great Spireblack Campaign but I haven't put anything concrete yet.

Swords of the Serpentine (3 sessions, GM): Conan the barbarian via GUMSHOE. It's sword and sorcery but you're investigating things as much as fighting or stealing. This is the first of the two games where I botched the ending because of a lack of prep. Bottomline, I think GUMSHOE is exactly the kind of system that doesn't work for me as a GM. It is built around the idea of a certain kind of prep (a breadcrumb trail of clues) and I don't think I enjoy leading players to a finale in that sense. In a one shot, I'm all for a tight breadcrumb trail but not really in a campaign. My primary enjoyment comes from players surprising me and I don't think this game is built for that. Loved the setting though! Eversink is a quirky, charming place.

Blades in the Dark (12 sessions, player): We played a crew of hawkers but we peddled highly illegal avant-garde dining experiences. It started out very light but we quickly became vengeful, violent freaks. Amazing, 10/10, no notes. It's crazy how cutthroat the hospitality industry can be! The system mastery of the table definitely helped but these sessions were a guaranteed good time.

The Veil (4 sessions, GM): A cyberpunk game with a focus on the em9tionx and internal lives of the characters. I really enjoyed emotions as stats. I loved asking my players how they felt every time they picked up the dice. But this was the second game where I botched the ending. Partially due to prep but partially due to misreading the text. I thought it was more like Apocalypse World where the players are often semi-antagonistic. But I think maybe it works best in a more standard "everyone is on the same side" kind of way. Would love for it to get a second edition with a better rulebook but will either way, probably return to it at some point.

DIE (5 sessions, GM): Goth jumanji. Slightly misleading but yeah, it's a game where you play people who get sucked into a game. I don't think I could make this game really work at my table. It relies on bleed to really shine (to some extent) and I'm not good at creating bleed. My table was also very culturally different. It would've been tough for anyone. Very jealous of those it worked for! If you haven't read the comic, you really should!

Bite Marks (6+ sessions, Player): A game of werewolves and pack dynamics. This is definitely in the vein of games where the players most complicated problems can be each other. Sure, there's a strange creature killing werewolves like us but thats an easy problem to solve. How am I going to keep this family together? How will I find someone to replace me as Alpha? Those are tough problems! I really enjoy that kind of play. I enjoy having the family as a character. I'm enjoying wrestling with being the leader of the pack, the Alpha. Ongoing.

World of Dungeons? (5+ sessions, GM/player): This is a bit of an odd game on this list. It's basically freeform pretending to be homebrew World of Dungeons. I take turns running it with a friend and it's the first RPG campaign for a couple of the players. When I run, I tend to run for 2 hours. It's dark fantasy, low stakes, and very satisfying. We're maybe one session away from the finale and I'm keen to find out if people want to play something else later.

Apocalypse World (3+ sessions, Player): The Blades in the Dark crew are now playing AW and it's similarly fun. Much more weird (fungal, jungle apocalypse) and PvP than Blades (characters has their own ulterior agenda, but players know everything though). I'm really enjoying it but still feel like it's just getting started. The engine hasn't kicked in yet and we have less system mastery than with Blades but I'm excited for when it kicks in.

This Ship Is No Mother (5 sessions, GM): So this is my own game of sci-fi horror that isn't out yet (except to patrons). I've run a couple oneshots and then a three session mini‐campaign. It's a game I love to run. Every playtest was a joy. I'm basically tweaking the text right now but it's basically ready for release. I'll talk about it more when it's out!

#indie rpg #ttrpg #ttrpg community #ttrpg design #ttrpgsolidarity

[sonicshipbattles]

How to handle Crossover Ships (from now on)?

NOTE: This is a longer post with a poll at the bottom. It will also affect all the tournaments going forward, not just the Knuckles one This has been something that's been on my mind for a while. Crossover ships are harmless fun, but the fact is that I'm not familiar with the source material for most of the ones that get submitted here. Which sometimes leads to backlash when folks point out something I didn't know, like "Hey, this goes against that character's canon sexuality!" or "That character is ___ age!" Now, I know some things can be solved by a quick wiki check, but not all of that information is on hand. As much as I'm loathe to bring it up, with the Mario drama from last time Mario's age isn't listed anywhere on the wikia, which I'd checked before including him, only to be met with people saying "How could you not know he's in his mid-twenties! That's common knowledge!" But the fact is... I didn't know! I haven't played Mario games (not even the Sonic crossover ones) and he wasn't part of my childhood at all. Maybe it is common knowledge, but it wasn't to me Now, obviously that was all solved by some kind people who saw I wasn't trying to be weird about it and linked me to some articles that had information the wikia did not. After that, he was omitted and we carried on. But it would be helpful to know all this stuff before I start setting up the brackets This is where you folks come in. You know the source materials of your crossovers better than I do. While I tend to just do a quick wiki check, you all know the websites and articles to help provide better information This is the long setup to explain why I think how I've been handling crossover ships here needs to change. Here are the options that I can see right now: 1. Allow crossover ships + keep going as we have been - This is where I take submissions on good faith and do a small amount of wiki checking on my own to determine if the ship should be included

2. Allow crossover ships + make a post featuring all of them prior to the bracket so people can say if there are any problems - This is my preferred method. It'll save a lot of time doing them all together at the end of the submissions period in one batch and will mean we can get to the actual brackets quicker. I also find people are more helpful in explaining reasons why something should/shouldn't be included than just voting yes or no on a poll 3. Stop allowing crossover ships - This one kind of sucks, but it would solve the problem. If I was judging this based on just the Sonic and Amy tournaments, I would've leaned more towards this one, since in both of those tournaments crossover ships would get knocked out as soon as they went up against in-universe ships. But the Eggman tournament was the outlier where crossover ships not only did very well, but the whole tournament was won by a crossover ship. Now, I do think that has a lot to do with the appeal of shipping Eggman with other villains that just isn't there with most of the other cast. But even so, everyone deserves a chance. Also, it wouldn't seem fair on crossover fans to cut them out of the fun completely ANYWAY, with that big long post done, here's the poll:

#Poll Notes #knuckles ship battles

[bookwyrminspiration]

“how did you even get sick? you look ugly. come here.” For Keefe and Tam? Can be platonic or romantic if you want to do anything for it :). Maybe with cuddles because I, personally, am craving the skin

I love your writing btw please write a book one day <33

That's very sweet of you--I'd love to write several books someday! I've got some concepts up my sleeve already. Also, the way I set up their dynamic (a self-inflicted personal hell) the cuddles aren't as prominent as I would've liked to give you, but hopefully the rest of the fic makes up for that <3

idiot boys and stupid feelings <- ao3 link

warnings: sickness, brief reference of the twin's time banished and all associated troubles, but that's really it!

word count: 6.1k

Watching the sun wallowing, meekly disappearing before an unforgiving horizon as it trailed reds and purples and loud oranges in its wake across the sky was a conflicting sight for Tam, who observed unimpressed from the balcony.

Of all the sunsets he’d witnessed, the view from whatever place this was--Mr. Forkle had told them, but he hadn’t bothered to listen to that part; he’d been more focused on words like “resurgence” and “outbreak” and “victims,” the more important things--wasn’t one to stand out. A simple skyline, typical colors. The sun could do better.

A frown started to surface, but instead of letting it breach, he reached to tug on his bangs instead, the one habit he could never seem to break.

Cool air washed over his face, chilling the drying sweat sticking to his skin, a remnant of the efforts he’d exhausted, that they were all exhausting.

Over an hour ago, their group had dispersed to their various assignments, each to return to Wherever-the-hell once they’d finished their parts; he’d been done first, and was now alone in the hideout--as alone as one could be when they were always watched.

The balcony sat perched over a tumbling, mountainous expanse, sloping down into the night, a twisted metal railing decorated with florals and feathers encasing it. The wide doors were fully open behind him, allowing the light from the room beyond to spill into the creeping night and the cool, fresh air in.

As he stood there, he pretended he couldn’t feel the eyes of this place, examining his hand for traces of shadow, darkness caught under his nails, averting his gaze from that uninspiring sunset. From the memories they stirred.

Another sunset meant another day survived, but another night to face. Time without reliable warmth, with impaired sight, things moving in the night, fitful sleep.

Tam’s mouth twitched, more of the frown slipping out, shoving those thoughts aside and finding the nearest other to latch onto and distract himself.

Which landed him on blonde hair, pale eyes, bags creeping beneath them, charcoal smudges on fingertips.

And something…off.

Of all the people to think about, he didn’t have to settle on Keefe, how he’d seemed…fuzzy, ill-alert, at their “meeting” earlier. There were over a dozen people in the room, and he made it his business to watch each and every one of them, to be prepared just in case--

But, regardless of how many people he observed, his thoughts snagged on Keefe. There was something unspoken about him, something festering, something that had made him want to leave him behind. Give his piece of the assignment to someone else.

Instead, he’d decided that, with the least important piece of their puzzle, Keefe was the least of his troubles.

It had been a surprise, actually, to return to the hideout and find himself the first one back, he’d been so sure that with such a small responsibility Keefe would be impatiently pacing the place, about the track someone down to join them instead of waiting for them all to reconvene while complaining about how miniscule his job had been.

Tam’s thoughts were interrupted by the soft, dragging sound of approaching footsteps.

He stilled, darkness staining his fingers like charcoal as he tilted his head to the side, listening.

They came from somewhere around the hideout, outside, only audible because he, himself, was outside.

Shadows traveled further up his arm, a tactful, slow acclimation to the darkness falling further with each second the sun acquiesced the sky.

The footsteps paused, and in their place a door handle jangled; stone-like, Tam turned just enough to peer over his shoulder, to watch as the door swung open and a particular pale-eyed blond stepped through, hand pushing through his hair, eyes scanning across the room, the empty couches facing each other, barren counters, untouched chairs with throw pillows still dented from over an hour ago.

His eyes missed Tam, skipping past the balcony sheathed in unnatural shadow as he swept the door shut behind him.

Immediately, his facade crumbled, and if Tam said he was surprised he’d be lying.

Keefe’s shoulders drooped, carefully curated carefree expression melting into bland nothing, fingers coming up to hold his temples, traveling back to poke gently at the base of his neck like it ached.

Shuffling, dragging footsteps took him to one of the couches, where he lowered himself as though the weight of the world rested solely on his shoulders.

Tam only watched, squinting to see better.

He wondered how long it would take Keefe to realize he was there, if he even would at all. The thought of how long he could probably get away with it amused him, but slipped from his grasp at the sound of a sniffle.

His muscles tensed once more, ready to make himself known and gone immediately if Keefe was about to start crying, but the sound repeated, and with it, everything from that evening clicked into place.

“How did you even get sick? You look ugly. Come here,” he said, turning fully as he did so, facing his back to the memory of a sunset and inclining his head as he learned against the railing, looking Keefe over from the better angle.

With that angle, he got a good view of the way he jumped, spine straightening and eyes widening, showing the whites all around.

His hands dropped from his head, falling in his lap as he shook himself off, a few precious seconds passing before he had himself sorted. “Were you just watching me? Dude, that’s so creepy.”

Tam ignored the question. “Drop the act, I can see right through it.”

Keefe’s shoulders tightened, and he opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted.

“Don’t even bother to try and lie to me right now. You’ve been off all evening. Now, like I said, come here.” Tam jerked his head towards the spot beside him.

His posture shifted, softening ever so slightly as he glanced between him and the door, as if there was someone else to see. Perhaps waiting for Biana to leap out of the shadows and accost them.

“Why?”

“Fresh air.”

Keefe frowned, leaning back further into the cushions, a slight grate to his voice. “But I just got all that fresh air running around scouting, looking for nothing.”

Tam shrugged. “Fine. Don’t, then.”

Silence fell for only a few short moments before Keefe grumbled something Tam couldn’t pick up, not even with all his practice, pushing up off the couch and stalking over to the balcony beside him, leaning facing out.

At least, Tam thought that’s what he was going for; instead, his feet dragged across the floor and his path swayed, Keefe unable to keep himself moving straight until he slumped against the banister, breath shaky--though he tried to hide it.

“You’re a mess, where’d you even catch…whatever that is,” Tam eyed him up and down, from the wan pallor of his face contrasted with the unnatural flush on his cheeks to the uneven rise and fall of his chest to the unsteady stance of his feet, relying on that railing for support.

Keefe huffed out what might’ve been a laugh. “Wow, thanks. Real supportive. I feel so cared about.” A low sighed rolled between his lips, laughter fading. “I think I caught it from Fitz. He wasn’t feeling great, but I ignored that and insisted we hang out anyway, and now…wait, earlier, did you say ‘all evening?’ Like you’ve been watching me all evening?”

It took Tam a moment to follow Keefe’s disjointed thoughts, lips tightening as he recalled the exact words he’d spoken.

If his cheeks felt warm, it was all the layers, all the black, nothing else. He scowled. “It’s not my fault you’ve had that funk around you all day. It’s hard to ignore.”

It wasn’t, actually; he had more than enough experience curating what, exactly, he paid attention to and was aware of. Pushing Keefe and the haze around him from his mind would’ve been simple enough.

In fact, it took more energy to pay attention than to let his gaze skip past that concealed fog around him. And yet he’d paid attention anyway.

“I think you just like me,” Keefe said, grin pulling at his lips, lifting his head enough to turn and peer at him. The unhealthy flush spread across his cheeks had starting fading to a lighter pink in the cool air, his eyes still dimly alight with fever, he noticed.

His eyes scanned scarred, warm skin, mussed hair, a silhouette backlit by the soft glow of the room beyond, the silence stretching on, his statement unanswered.

Keefe shifted, pushing off the railing to stand straighter, the two of them almost equal in height, though Keefe stood slightly taller and shamelessly used it to his advantage. “We’re alone; you can admit it, you know.”

That was…much more forward than usual.

Tam rolled his eyes. “All I have to admit is how much more annoying you are than I let on.”

“You hesitated.”

“You’re aren’t thinking clearly.”

Keefe shook his head, looking down the few inches he had on Tam, leaning in closer, unconscious of the movement; Tam was very conscious of it. “Uh uh, I may be fuzzy”--he tapped at his temple, blinking as though fighting to keep his eyes open--”but I noticed. You were thinking about it, weren’t you? You’re always thinking about something.”

Tam’s lips pressed together, averting his eyes, scowling. His gaze flickered to the door, fragments of shadows skittered along the edge of the room in tandem. They were alone, but for how long? How long until the rest of their group finished each of their individual scouting missions, returning to catch them too close in the dark?

He’d spent his life with it as his defense, and yet now its charged silence threatened to turn on him.

“You’re doing it again,” Keefe interrupted, the words fumbled, exhaustion creeping its greedy fingertips around the edges, digging its claws into the vowels.

His voice drew Tam’s gaze back, piercing through the dark. Had Keefe gotten even closer?

How had he missed it?

Tam’s body went rigid, the cool air doing nothing to combat the turmoil stirring in his mind, leaving him to fend for himself. “What--what are you doing? Cut it out.”

Brow furrowing, the words took a moment to pierce through Keefe’s thick skull.

When they did, he took a step away.

He opened his mouth, but closed it again, instead letting out a breath, one hand unconsciously rising to rub at the base of his skull, poking and prodding at what he was now certain was a headache.

Tam latched onto it like a lifeline against the sudden silence, the retreat he’d asked for and dreaded. “Have you--hailed Elwin? He always fixes you up.”

Keefe let his prior comments drop untouched, as though they were never there, snorting, “Elwin’s got enough going on with the gnomes and all the councillor visits. I’m not going to bother him with just a”--he gestured at himself--”cold or something. Whatever it is.”

“He’d want you to,” Tam reminded him, trying to be less…whatever it was about him that had Keefe stepping away. Even though he’d told him to.

Keefe had slumped over the banister again, forehead practically pressed to the railing, goosebumps raised across his skin, shivering now instead of overheating. He didn’t answer.

A few shadows slipped forward, invisible against the descending dark, hedging around the edges of Keefe’s shape, hesitating.

“Keefe.”

“Are you going to tell anyone?” It was more exhale than speaking, the words happening to tumble out at the same time, by chance rather than intention.

Tam frowned, only for a moment before he schooled his expression. “What are you even talking about?”

“When everyone else gets back, are you going to tell them?” Without any force, he gestured to himself.

“That you’re sick? Tell them yourself. Probably won’t even have to, one look at you and it’s obvious.”

Keefe sighed in what might’ve been relief. “Thanks.”

Tam crossed his arms, looking away, eyes scanning over the empty room, shadows creeping through the door searching and searching for others, but there was no one to break the silence that fell once more. They truly were alone, just like Keefe had said.

Why? They weren’t supposed to be. Where was everyone else? Why hadn’t they come back yet?

“You,” Keefe started, though he stayed with his head pressed to his arm against the railing, “are one to talk about funks when you’ve got your own all over you.”

“What?”

Keefe waved a free hand, nonchalant. “You’re so worried I can feel it, and I’m not even touching you.”

Tam glanced down to Keefe’s hands, where they rested against the railing. Close enough that they could reach out and touch him, if they wanted to.

He looked away.

“Did I successfully distract you with my charming personality?” Keefe asked, shifting his head so he could look at Tam, the hint of a smile on his mouth. But…less so. Not as wide as he’d been smiling earlier.

“You talk too much,” he scowled, reaching up to tug at his bangs, the scratch of metal against his fingertips comforting.

Keefe made an indignant noise. “You’re the one who started this conversation, creeping on me from the shadows and telling me to ‘come here.’ This one’s on you. If you didn’t want to talk to me, why ask me to come closer to you? Hypocrite.”

Now it was Tam’s turn to be indignant. “You were feverish, I told you to get over here to cool off--and so you wouldn’t infect the room.”

“Nice to know you care.” Keefe mumbled, eyes rolling.

“Of course I do,” he hissed back, then clamped his mouth shut.

Keefe stilled beside him, but Tam refused to move his gaze from where it bored a hole into the far wall, that frown from before resurfacing as his fingers dug into the railing he leaned on, bones and muscle turning to stone.

Silence screamed for long enough Tam was nearly convinced neither of them would ever speak again, and then--

“You’re gonna pass out if you stay so rigid. Didn’t anyone ever teach you to loosen up once in a while?”

Internally, he flinched, but his body remained impassive. He shot Keefe a glare. “You have to make everything into a joke, don’t you?”

It was Keefe’s turn to flinch, scowling as he looked away--but it lacked any real conviction, lethargy dimming the edges as he sniffled, a slight shiver running through him.

Tam’s frown deepened.

He watched--though if you asked if he’d been watching, he’d deny it--as Keefe’s attention snagged on something he couldn’t see, eyes distant as he flexed his hand over and over.

Flashes of cold nights and running noses, flush cheeks and wondering hoping begging Linh to wake, to be well, to push through the haze and find him again passed through his mind. Searching for herbs but not knowing what to look for, never enough supplies, coughs and setting suns and days stretching into weeks into months into eternity as Keefe faded further and further into that haze, away from him.

He couldn’t stand it any longer. “What?”

Somehow Keefe found a way to slump down even further, resting his head on his arm, squished cheek distorting his words as they spilled out, filter breaking like a dam under his exhaustion. “I don’t get you. You say you’ve been watching me all evening and tell me to come stand next to you, and then get all defensive and upset with everything I say. You’re feeling something strong enough I’m picking up flashes through the air, but I’m not touching you and I can’t think straight so I don’t know what it is, but it doesn’t feel great. You say you care and then snap at me, what am I supposed to make of all that?”

Outburst over, Keefe stopped leaning on the rail entirely, instead lowering himself to the ground as he rubbed at his neck, still sniffling, staring off into the dark, sun long since gone.

Tam couldn’t help the lurch in his chest at the sight.

Keefe or the darkness, he couldn’t tell, but the jolt was there all the same.

“You must be worse than I thought if you’re getting all emotionally aware on me,” he peered down at him, trying to distract himself from the stone sitting in his chest.

“Seriously? You were just getting on my ass about making jokes out of everything.”

Shadows pulsed under his palms, swirling with an unidentified heat he didn’t want to think about. “Fine. You have a point there. I…sorry.”

“Whatever.”

Keefe made a dismissive gesture up at him, other hand still flexing, eyes closed now as he rested his face against the railing, legs crossed beneath him. It didn’t look comfortable.

After a few terse moments of debate with himself, both sides screaming adamantly, he huffed out a breath and lowered himself down hard, not giving himself a chance to second guess any longer.

“Do you want to read my emotions?”

Keefe sat up in surprise, looking over at the hand extended in offering.

“What? You’d let me?”

Teeth grinding, words slow, “You said you couldn’t tell through the air. Wouldn’t this help?”

Keefe searched his face as though making sure he was serious, and Tam fervently hoped there wasn’t anything to find as he reached to tug on his bangs. “Make a decision before I change my mind.”

That was all the encouragement Keefe needed, gaze sliding down his body--Tam swore he could feel its weight against his skin like static--to his hand, wrapping two fingers around his wrist as though taking his pulse.

Keefe’s eyelids fluttered as he inhaled, sudden and deep, grip tightening, a furrow between his brows as he pushed through his fatigue and into the maelstrom of emotion he’d been complaining about.

Trying not to squirm beneath the scrutiny, all he could do was watch, entirely unaware of what, specifically, Keefe was finding. What he’d learn.

Was this what it felt like when he read people’s shadow vapor, the sitting and the waiting?

Why had he agreed to this?

Why had he even suggested it?

A small, rebellious voice in the back of his head knew why, but he shoved it away before it could put voice to those thoughts.

“What--” Keefe made a face, scrunching up his nose, soft confusion in his tone, “what are you afraid of?”

Tam started. “I’m not--”

“You do realize you can’t lie to me, right?”

Keefe looked at him with an intensity that made him want to knock the look from his face, to turn around and walk into the night.

He settled for pulling his arm away, breaking the connection--or at least, he tried to.

As his wrist slipped from Keefe’s grip, he caught his hand, fingers brushing against his palm as he squeezed tight.

“Wait. I’m…sorry.” Keefe looked lost, fumbling for words, rubbing at his neck with his free hand. “I…didn’t mean to push you. It’s just a really strong feeling. It surprised me. Is it the thing with the gnomes? Because we’re going to figure it out and fix it.”

“I know that.”

“Then what…?” Keefe trailed off, looking lost, brows furrowing as he tried to think through the fog in his mind.

Tam’s grip tightened involuntarily, memories from his and Linh’s Exillium days flashing through his mind. “I don’t like sickness.”

Keefe nodded, still not quite following. “Well duh, no one does, it sucks--”

“It’s not the same for you,” he interrupted, looking away, leaning back against the railings, peering into the night sky as his stomach clenched. “When you’ve been sick, you’ve always been able to call on the best care your world has to offer, just a hail away. All the supplies you could ever need readily available. You’d be better by the morning as though it’d never even happened, just a slight discomfort, comfortable knowing you’d be just fine. You could take a day off, even. You never had to wonder if there was enough to treat you, if you could find what you needed, not sure when she’d get better and if she’d be okay to go to school, or if you’d have to leave her alone to go and get your beads, hoping you wouldn’t catch it because there wasn’t enough to treat the both of you and someone had to get the beads otherwise you’d be left behind.”

Tam cut off, biting his lip, for once not even caring what Keefe picked up on his palm, too distracted as he tried to get the images of Linh’s flushed cheeks, the shadows under her eyes, the tremor in her fingers as she propped herself against the wall, out of his head.

“Linh got sick,” Keefe whispered, more statement than question, but he decided to answer it anyways.

“Bad. It’d started out just a mild cold she must’ve caught from another wayward--fever, sniffles, headaches,” he glanced at Keefe’s flushed cheeks, blinking uncomfortably as he rubbed at his neck, both all too aware how it matched up with his symptoms, “but it didn’t go away. And we didn’t have anything to treat it with. And it got worse. A lot worse. I hated watching the sun set because she always shivered so badly without the sunlight’s warmth, no matter how hot I made my body. But the worst part was the only reason it got that bad was because we didn’t have any elixirs or treatment--but they exist. We just didn’t have access. And yet you do and throw it away,” he added at the end, bitterness coating his tongue.

Keefe swallowed, thumb pressed into the back of Tam’s hand. “I…guess I hadn’t thought about that.”

“No shit.”

For once, Keefe let the attitude slide, an incredibly unsettling phenomenon, because instead he was looking directly at Tam. He was suddenly reminded that with their hands still linked, he could still feel every single one of his emotions.

“What if--what if I promise to take something myself then? I still don't want to bother Elwin--the gnomes have him busy enough--but…you don’t need a physician to take elixirs. There’s probably something somewhere in whatever-the-hell this place is called--I wasn’t listening when Fork man said the name.”

“Me either,” Tam admitted. “It’s probably something stupid. Do you really plan to take something, or are you just saying that?” He couldn’t hide the skepticism in his voice, but Keefe would’ve felt it anyways.

Keefe made an offended noise. “I meant it! I’m trying to make you feel better about your sad life, because Foster keeps getting on my case about being nice to you and she’s so stubborn about it--and maybe I just like you, you ever thought about that?”

Unlike Tam, Keefe didn’t look the slightest bit concerned by the confession, grumpily playing with Tam’s fingers in his hand, poking at the veins beneath his skin. Though maybe he hadn’t thought through the consequences of saying it, or was too tired to.

“Do you?” Tam asked, quiet, braced against the answer.

Was he worried he’d say no?

Or that he’d say yes?

“I do,” he said, eyes on their linked hands, “more than I should.”

A heady rush passed through him, spine tingling as his stomach dropped--relief? Fear?

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Keefe’s already flushed face reddened further, as his brain started to catch up with where the conversation was headed, pressing his lips together as though he could stop it. But there was no way Tam was letting him walk away without answers and Keefe knew it; he’d opened the floodgates, now he had to ride out the wave. It was his own fault, really.

Sighing, he made a non-committal gesture as though that would explain everything. “We both know it would be better for both of us if…if no one had to put up with me. If I could just keep all my problems and feelings to myself instead of everyone else having to deal with the mess.”

Tam made a face, snapping, “You don’t have any right to say what would be better for me. Don’t make that choice for me.”

Starting back a little, Keefe tilted his head to the side, mouth falling open a touch, glassy eyes searching Tam’s.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you don’t get to decide what is and isn’t worth my time.”

Keefe’s breath caught, tongue between his teeth as he ventured, barely audible, “And me? Am I…?”

Tam didn’t answer for a moment, heartbeat screaming in his ears loud enough he could barely hear himself say, “You’re the empath, you tell me.”

A few moments passed, Keefe’s shaking fingers pressing against the lines of his palm with intention this time.

As the shaking spread, Keefe’s eyes widening as he glanced between him and his palm, Tam added, “Why do you think I invited you over here?”

“...Fresh air?”

Tam rolled his eyes, but tried to keep his voice gentle as he stared ahead. “Because…I wanted to keep an eye on you. Because I care and its--fuck it, its worth my time, alright? Don’t make me say it again.”

Against his better judgment, he glanced at Keefe, only to see a shit-eating grin starting to spread across his lips.

“Don’t push your luck,” Tam grumbled, shifting as he reached for his bangs with his free hand, fingers flexing in Keefe’s grip unconsciously.

Keefe nodded, smile mellowing, lingering until it turned into something uncertain. “Where…where does that leave us?”

Tam didn’t have an answer.

“Us?” he repeated instead.

Reddening, Keefe tried to backtrack, though he still didn’t let go of his hand.

But he was all out of words, quickfire mind finally exhausted, nothing left to shield himself as his mouth gaped and closed, nothing to save himself.

As if he’d ever need saving from Tam.

Scowling, he cursed idiot boys and stupid feelings, shaking his head, pressing his palm firmly against Keefe’s, deliberately thinking the words he didn’t know if he could voice again, bringing the feeling to the forefront of his very self.

I care.

Keefe hissed in a breath through his teeth. “I--oh.”

“Oh?”

“Us.”

It was all he said, but it was all he needed to say in that moment, because suddenly it was no longer a question.

It was an undeniable certainty.

“Alright,” Tam said, nearly lightheaded, “us.”

He didn’t think he minded his hand in Keefe’s anymore, whatever he’d find.

He’d already found exactly what Tam had wanted him to, what he’d been unwilling to admit he’d been hoping he would.

A shiver crawled through Keefe’s body, and for a moment Tam became the empath between the two of them. Unimaginable lethargy pulled at his bones, breath labored through narrowed airways, a fog in his mind trying to drag him into darkness.

They’d left his illness unspoken for a moment, distracted by their…whatever that conversation was, but no longer.

“You need to rest,” Tam instructed, gentle, but firm. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, but Keefe wouldn’t make it easy.

That, as expected, sparked something in Keefe, some last ditch effort to pull himself together. “No, there’s the resurgence, and we still have to reconvene with everyone--” “Please.”

The word surprised them both, stopping them short.

That…wasn’t what he’d meant to say.

But something in Keefe looked uncertain, lost, so he said it again. “Please, Keefe.”

“I…okay,” he deflated, words barely a whisper as he gave in, the bravado he’d put on slipping away, leaving him hunched over, sniffling, chills coating his bare arms on the now cold balcony, washed in the light spilling out from the room behind them.

Tam looked him over, nodding to himself--he believed him, that he’d listen for once in his life, though he didn’t know why. It wasn’t like Keefe. “I’ll find wherever their stash of elixirs is and bring them to you--why don’t you sit on the couch, get out of the cold?”

Another tremor ran through him as he finally let Tam’s hand slip from his as the two pushed to their feet in tandem, one much steadier than the other.

And even though their hands didn’t touch, not even the barest of brushes between their fingers, a silent electricity hummed between their bodies, tingling along his skin as they split. Keefe collapsed face first into the couch, groaning, and Tam moved to search the rest of the place in the quiet that followed, haunted by the hollow feeling of skin that hadn’t been touched, but nearly had been.

It didn’t take long for him to find a small, but well-equipped supply of medicinal elixirs, balms, and miscellaneous assortments for small injuries and ailments. He grabbed two he thought would help, shutting the doors behind him as quietly as possible, but they still echoed in the silent place--seriously, where was everyone else?

Had so little time passed that no one else had returned?

He could’ve sworn lifetimes had come and gone on that balcony.

So brief, and yet now the scope of his world had changed, new, undefined tethers drawing him to a certain troublesome boy with no sense of self-preservation or risk sprawled across the entirety of a couch.

Leaning over the back of it, peering down at him, Tam tapped the two vials he held against the back of Keefe’s head, smiling to himself as Keefe swatted half-heartedly at him.

“You already agreed, you don’t get to take it back.”

“I wasn’t going to!” he protested as he shifted to a propped up position, though it had less force than he would’ve expected. “I told you I meant it. I know everyone’s always telling me off for being stubborn, but I don’t always push back. I can make smart decisions.”

He’d believe it when he saw it.

Keefe grabbed the vials, uncorking the first.

Tam blinked as he downed the contents and studiously avoided his gaze. “You’re holding something back.”

Keefe scowled at his matter of fact tone as he downed the second, though his hands shook as he uncorked it. “Fine. Your story about Linh got to me, okay? I don’t want to worry anyone else.”

Of course. He’d never relent for his own sake, only to prevent himself from becoming a burden to others.

Idiot.

Keefe wrapped his arms around himself, shivering, waiting for the elixirs to kick in and for Tam to say something, but he was too busy scanning the room for a blanket, frowning when he came up short. Surely a secret, underground rebel organization trying to fix fundamental problems in their world had enough interior decor sense and time to have decorative blankets somewhere.

Apparently not.

“What are you looking for?”

“A blanket. You’re shivering, but I don’t see any,” he continued, ignoring Keefe’s mouth opening--likely to protest. He always had something to say. Infuriating.

Keefe didn’t like being ignored and rolled his eyes--though he winced with the action, probably aggravating whatever of his headache hadn’t eased yet--and grumbled, “This is ridiculous. I’m not even that cold. What are you even going to do about it without blankets? Share your body heat?”

It took a moment for Keefe to register what he’d just said, but when he did his eyes went wide, mouth snapping shut as he dared a glance at Tam.

He kept his face carefully impassive, but he reached up to tug at his bangs, habit traitorously giving his frazzled state of mind away.

Neither of them spoke for a moment longer--Keefe, because while sick, had the sense to realize he’d given away much more than he’d intended to tonight, and Tam because he had no idea what to do with everything Keefe had given him.

“Careful there, someone might think you actually wanted to be close to me,” Tam deadpanned at last, fingers still in the rough metal, though the joke fell oddly. Like with whatever their new us was, it didn’t fit anymore. Like it was just going through the motions without the venom behind it.

Keefe said nothing, but his gaze flickered, away from Tam’s face--only for a few moments, but long enough for Tam to see him rake it down his body before snapping back, and he could’ve sworn it lingered on his hands.

Tam stopped short, mind going blank. “...do you?”

“I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to,” was the answer he got, unable to tell if his flush was from sickness or embarrassment as he refused to meet Tam’s eye.

He gave his bangs one final tug before he dropped his hands, blurting out, “When we couldn’t keep warm in the neutral territories--before we’d learned to regulate our temperatures or when we were too tired--we’d share body heat.”

Keefe’s brow furrowed, looking up at him, uncertainty on his face. “...are you offering--”

“Well if you don’t want to--”

“I didn’t say that! You…you’re warm,” he tacked on at the end, trying to find a suitable explanation, but the hesitation gave him away.

Tam stayed silent for a moment, then, “Sit up.”

“I--huh?”

“I said sit up; you’re taking up the whole couch. Unless you want me to crush you with my body weight, I need space,” he continued, but Keefe was already scrambling to push himself up, freeing up a spot that Tam slid into, breath catching as their arms brushed together.

He’d been close to people before--closer, even, usually with Linh.

But something about Keefe’s arm against his jolted through him, every hair on his body standing on end.

“I’m not going to bite,” he said, amused, watching Keefe sit stunned beside him, rigid as a statue, a cornered animal ready to bolt. “Well, probably not.”

Keefe huffed, something sounding like asshole and fuck it spilling past his lips as he shifted closer, their legs pressing together too now, the static between them building, though neither mentioned it.

Quietly, glancing at him for permission as he did so, Keefe reached out and took Tam’s hand; he felt rather than saw the tremor that rocketed through him at the influx of emotions the touch provided, but Keefe just held on tighter.

Their breaths the only sound, they sat like that, pressed together, until Keefe’s shivers had started to abate.

“How are you so warm?” Keefe mumbled suddenly, starting to melt back into the cushions beside him--whether because he was comfortable or exhausted, Tam couldn’t tell. “You’d think a shadow guy would be freezing.”

“Shadow guy?”

“Shut up. You know what I meant.”

Keefe’s eyes had fallen closed, words slurring, chest moving slow, rhythmic.

Hardly daring to move, Tam watched as Keefe’s muscles gave in to sleep, his head tilting, falling in a slow arc towards him, until Keefe’s cheek was pressed against his shoulder, grip loosening in his hand.

Tam’s breath caught in his throat, but he stayed still--until Keefe started to slip, at just the wrong angle that gravity tried to pull him forward.

Before he could fall further, Tam caught him, grinding his teeth together as he weighed his options.

Gently, he shifted, hardly daring to breath lest he wake Keefe from his much needed nap, and just…adjusted his trajectory slightly.

Instead of falling forward and off the couch, or roughly shoving him back, Tam lowered his head into his lap, hands hovering over the rest of his body uncertainly before he finally let them settle on Keefe’s arm.

A few terse moments later, Keefe gave no sign of stirring, settling into the new position, breaths even--and Tam thought his color had improved too, the elixirs starting to kick in.

There was nothing else to do in the silence that followed but breathe an easy sigh, looking around at the well furnished room--unforgivably devoid of blankets, but otherwise lavish--the steady light, the stable structure, secure in the knowledge that no matter what happened next, he wasn’t--they weren’t--out there still.

That they could get what they needed, and enough of it.

They weren’t the only people looking out for them anymore.

Which brought a different problem to mind: where was everyone else?

Almost as soon as he put thought to the question, something prickled his senses, and the door across the room swung open, Biana bursting in with Linh close behind, breathless.

They stopped short at what they found as Tam tensed, Biana’s mouth falling open and Linh covering a knowing smile with her mouth.

“Don’t you dare say a word,” he hissed, glaring at them, heart pounding.

The glance the two shared and the grins that followed didn’t bode well for him.

But as Keefe shifted in his lap, sleeping peacefully, safely, recovering, skin soft against his own, he couldn’t quite remember why he cared.

#kotlc #kotlc fanfic #kotlc kam #quil's quill #quil's queries #nonsie #look guys I did it! i wrote a fic! #i am putting it out into the world you better be nice with it <3 #also I'm sooo good at titling things <33333 #okay I'll be quiet now enjoy the fic :) #nonsie I hope this satisfies your prompt I kinda created. a whole situation out of it #would've been so much easier if they were already established i don't know why I didn't do that #but hey. love a challenge! #maybe if this isn't enough cuddles I can write a follow up sometime in the future where they're more physically comfortable #i like how I said I'd stop talking and then I didn't #i'l actually stop now. very giddy atm I haven't posted fic in a while this is quite the rush

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1069 - Initial Thoughts

And we're back again, CP0 are here and Luffy has crossed paths with Lucci

You can smell a fight in the air and contrary to some people's beliefs We are far from done in Egghead

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release

I dunno about you but a science division run by one of the Underworld bosses would've been a big red flag anyway, let alone it being called MADS and involving the ruler of the 'Evil Army'

Picking up where we left off with the stand off, but also maybe a bit more of a gratuitous ass shot from the unconscious Bonney which could've gone without

Luffy getting the 'oh yeah, technically we're the baddies' realisation, then again CP0 are intruding too

Translations on my site have given Kaku a weird verbal tic now he's very "cock'n-ay" with 'It's da Straw Hat crew'

Since Luffy's a Yonko though they can't attack without permission, since it could lead to another Marineford situation

Stussy tells the subordinates to alert the marines, so there won't be any more keeping it secret, meanwhile Luffy leaves Bonney with Jinbe

Luffy though finds Atlas KO'd asking Chopper to help (though it is kinda true that Franky may be better suited), and when Lucci points out it doesn't involve him, he makes it his business

You give Luffy food you're his friend for life them's just the rules

Lucci's got that 'I need to avenge that loss' look in his eyes

Word travelled quick to Akainu that Luffy's in Egghead

Seems the Fleet Admiral at least was clued in on Cipher Pol keeping tabs on Vegapunk, not sure if he knew about the assassination plot

Knowing the risk of Vegapunk's genius defecting to pirates, Akainu wastes no time sending Kizaru, though Kizaru's already gone there

At all cost? Yeah no Lucci's already fighting Luffy

Lucci's got an Awakening too

Oda sure loves the Shinto deity scarf thingy doesn't he? Looks cool though

Vegapunk Stella arrives at the lab quickly to get a look at Gear Fifth

Nami come on, you should be able to tell that Luffy's forms have a theme

But it's time that the lab group of the Straw Hats get clued in on the truth of the Gomu Gomu no Mi - because if Jinbe were there he'd know of Nika via Who's-Who

Luffy is of course messing with Lucci though

It's also funny that Vegapunk's like 'he looks just like a god!' and the rest of the crew's just 'wtf ossan that's no god it's just Luffy'

Vegapunk also has a Devil Fruit lore theory, he believes that Devil Fruits are the potential for branched evolution, that the fruits become manifestations of human desires to be something else

It's an interesting theory but why would people think 'Oh I wish I could swim through ground' or 'wouldn't it be cool to be able to slow objects down for 30 seconds'

He also theorizes since these transformations are perversions of nature, that the sea - the mother of all nature - rejects them, so that's why DF users can't swim

He does make a point of saying it's not factual, meaning that the potential for 'gods' can still be flimsy

Out comes Sentomaru with the 3 Seraphim, he sees Luffy and expects that the orders are to fight him, but is surprised when it's the contrary

Sentomaru is put in a bit of a predicament since attacking CP0 will mean potential treason, so Vegapunk does play the emotional blackmail card

But Sentomaru chooses Vegapunk, and orders S-Bear to turn on CP0, since his orders outrank CP0

So it seems that the Seraphim have a hierarchy of authority; Gorosei, Vegapunk, Sentomaru and then whoever holds an 'authority chip' - bit of a risk putting your word second in authority isn't it?

Kaku also laments that they can't destroy the Seraphim since they are valuable assets, which means Lucci has put them in a lot of shit right now

Per Sentomaru's orders, S-Snake is set to escort the Straw Hats to safety, I wonder if that brings Brook and Zoro into play, also how will they react to a kid Boa?

S-Shark and S-Hawk are set to fight CP0

Chopper and Jinbe notice the Seraphim now, as well as their likeness, seems that Jinbe's not too shocked more surprised that they would clone the warlords

Luffy then gets to chat with Sentomaru, clearing up that he did agree to help Vegapunk out

We know that Sentomaru respects Luffy, but he's not quite there as an ally within the navy, still wary of the pirate

But the chit chat leaves him open for Lucci to attack, knowing that killing Sentomaru will eliminate his position in the authority hierarchy and give them command of the Seraphim

Annnnnd Shonen Jump now is on the break ¬_¬

I told you not to underestimate Lucci

He can't beat Luffy 1v1 at Gear Fifth but the fact that he's fighting Gear Fifth Luffy in his Awakened Form shows how strong he is. Plus with Sentomaru out it's clear that killing Vegapunk eliminates the hierarchy threat of them turning the Seraphim against the WG

Of course, the Vegapunks could still outrank CP0's orders, but it depends if they have voice commands in the area, plus I doubt Sentomaru's insta-dead so we may have some time, also S-Snake may not be in proximity to hear CP0's orders.

Nevertheless we're getting things going down, half the crew now know that Luffy isn't simply a rubber man, the only ones who don't are Jinbe, Chopper, Zoro, Brook and Luffy himself. Kizaru is on his way - which hopefully means Atlas' gloves are gonna come into play - but how will he react to Sentomaru's state, given how the marine calls him 'uncle'?

We've yet to hear from Zoro or Brook, Kuma may also be on his way, we don't know why S-Bear is a problem child, the lab group of the Straw Hats will need to do something (particularly Franky since this is meant to be his arc) and Bonney still has a role to play, on top of all that Kaku and Stussy are bound to do more than watch on the sidelines too, and seeing Lucci attack another person Luffy's friendly with is bound to set him off. So if any of you think we're at the 'leaving Egghead' stage of the arc, think again.

It's only just begun.

#one piece #op spoilers #vegapunk arc #egghead island #one piece spoilers #dr vegapunk #vegapunk stella #vegapunk atlas #monkey d. luffy #tony tony chopper #jinbe #one piece jinbe #cp0 #rob lucci #kaku one piece #stussy one piece #jewelry bonney #straw hat pirates #akainu #sentomaru #kizaru #sakazuki one piece #seraphim