#ok i still think the title is kind of a bit cringe but i literally could not think of anything else. i tried. i really did. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

btsqualityy · 3 years

Text

Assuage: Chapter 3

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, angst, fluff, smut, enemies to lovers

Warnings: Hunting (nothing descriptive and they’re not just hunting for the fun of it, it’s for survival)

“You know, it’s about damn time that these dumb asses gave me some help around here!” Kibum exclaimed happily as Yoongi stood awkwardly in front of him. “Well, don’t just stand there boy! Grab that maple wood there!” Yoongi moved quickly, grabbing the long plank of wood before moving back over to Kibum, setting it down in front of him.

Yoongi had only been working with Kim Kibum for a few days now, but he had quickly learned just how...out there the man was.

“You know, I’m one of the oldest elders in this damn pack and because of that, you would think that our amazing Pack Alpha would’ve given me some help before now but no!” Kibum ranted loudly as he grabbed a buzz saw, cutting into the maple wood.

“Uh, how old are you exactly?” Yoongi wondered, looking at the full head of grey hair that the Alpha man sported. Yoongi figured that he had to be over 60, because he didn’t have a distinct scent anymore.

“Don’t you worry about that,” Kibum smirked. “You just hope that you’ll be lucky enough to make it to be my age someday. Now, come here so I can show you how to cut out this shape for a bed that someone ordered!”

Even though it had only been a few days since he started working with Kibum, he found himself enjoying both the work he was doing and the man’s eccentricities. Actually, Yoongi found himself settling into the pack so easily that it almost scared him half to death. With everything that he had just been through with his previous pack, he didn’t want to risk that happening again but he also couldn’t deny how nice everyone had been to him since he had arrived onto their territory.

After spending two hours helping Kibum and learning some different techniques for woodworking, Yoongi walked to the front of the hardware store and sat at the front counter, manning the register while Kibum took his lunch break. Just as he found himself becoming bored, the small bell above the door jingled as it opened, Taehyung walking inside.

“Hi Hyung!” He greeted Yoongi cheerfully, making Yoongi glare at the Beta as he made his way to stand in front of him.

“Are you never not happy?” Yoongi wondered.

“Rarely, except for when Jungkook tries to pull that ‘baby Alpha’ bullshit on me,” Taehyung shrugged.

“Speaking of that, are you and Jungkook like...a thing?” Yoongi questioned.

“You mean are we mated?” Taehyung chuckled and Yoongi hummed while nodding. “Not yet, but hopefully we will be by this time next year.”

“What’s the wait? You’re both presented.”

“Yeah, but he’s still kind of young for mating even by pack standards, with him only being 20,” Taehyung explained. “Plus, Kook was a late bloomer so he’s only been presented for about a year now and he’s still settling into his Alpha hormones.”

“Ahh,” Yoongi nodded in understanding. “And you’re willing to wait?”

“Hyung, I’ve been in love with Kook since I was 17 and he was 15, so over five years now,” Taehyung smiled. “I’m more than willing to wait if it means I’ll be able to spend the rest of my life with him.”

“Must be nice,” Yoongi muttered.

“What about you hyung?” Taehyung wondered. “You ever think about mating and settling down?”

“Not really,” Yoongi shook his head. “Never really appealed to me.”

“Well, that’s fair,” Taehyung shrugged.

“Can I ask you something else?” Yoongi asked and Taehyung shrugged before nodding. “When I first woke up here, at the medical cabin, I heard you and Y/N talking and you said “what if our parents had left me?”. You said it to Namjoon too. What was that about?”

“Ah, that,” Taehyung laughed. “So, as you know, I’m a Beta and I was actually born in a different pack.”

“Really?” Yoongi gaped.

“Yeah. I’m still not too sure of what exactly happened because I was only 3 at the time but my birth parents and most of my old pack were killed,” Taehyung began. “We were a small pack so our territory got taken over and it just wasn’t pretty. I ended up wondering through the woods alone and that’s when Joon hyung and Y/N-ah’s parents found me and took me in. It was actually kind of controversial, especially since their parents were Pack Omega and Pack Alpha at the time and the only kids that they were allowed to have were their own.”

“Because of the bloodline,” Yoongi finished, knowing very well how pack hierarchy worked. When a Pack Alpha and Pack Omega had children, it was expected that one of those children would be the one to take over the pack whenever their parents decided to retire or passed away. Competition for the title was often fierce, depending on the number of children in a family and their subgender, and adding to that adopted children who had no real linkage to the bloodline only served to further complicate matters.

“Exactly, and it didn’t help matters that when I presented, I turned out to be a Beta. The only fucking Beta in the pack at that,” Taehyung chuckled. “It was just another thing that made the adopted kid stand out, you know?”

“I get it,” Yoongi muttered. “Well, where are your parents now? I haven’t met them yet, or at least I don’t think I have.”

“They were both killed in the Great Pack War seven years ago,” Taehyung told him and Yoongi’s breath caught in his throat. Yoongi was more than familiar with the Great Pack War that had taken out massive numbers in almost every pack in South Korea, which included his own parents.

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispered.

“It’s ok. They were protecting the pack at the time, which was always their main goal, so that makes me feel a little bit better,” Taehyung shrugged. “Now doesn’t it make sense why Joon hyung was so uptight about me brining you onto pack territory?”

“Yeah, it does,” Yoongi huffed. “Especially since his mate is pregnant.”

“Yep. Enough about that though,” Taehyung said abruptly, changing the subject. “I came here to ask if you wanted to come hunting with us.”

“Who’s “us”?”

“Me, Joon hyung, Hobi hyung, Jungkookie, some others,” Taehyung listed off. “Since we’re entering fall, Joon hyung wants us to try to get extra meat to put into storage. Just in case snowfall comes early this year.”

“I don’t know,” Yoongi replied slowly. “I mean, my wrist still isn’t 100%. I don’t think I’d be able to take down anything.”

“Well, we always take extra tools like spears and stuff with us so you can use of one those.”

“Taehyung, I’m Prime,” Yoongi deadpanned. “I’m literally made to hunt animals with my bare hands.”

“You presented a problem, I offered a solution,” Taehyung laughed. “It’s up to you to take it or not.”

“I’m working though,” Yoongi tried to excuse himself.

“Not anymore,” Kibum interjected as he stepped out of his small office that was just to the left of the front counter. “I’m giving you the rest of the day off.”

“Really?” Yoongi asked.

“Yeah, it’ll be a good way for you to show that you’re contributing to the pack,” Kibum said. “And make some friends because Lord knows you need some.”

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Taehyung laughed. “So, what do you say hyung?” As much as Yoongi wanted to say no and keep up the façade of him not wanting to get too used to the pack, he also couldn’t deny how antsy he was to hunt again and satisfy that part of his biology.

“Fine,” he relented, cringing immediately afterwards when Taehyung let out a loud cheer.

.............................

Following Taehyung out to the edges of the pack’s territory, Yoongi was surprised to see so many people preparing themselves to hunt. Most of all, he was surprised to see you standing there as well, talking to Namjoon.

“Hey, nice to see that you’re joining us Yoongi!” Hobi greeted him cheerfully and Yoongi just nodded towards him.

“I have to say, I told Taehyung that he wouldn’t be able to con you into coming,” Namjoon chuckled as he pulled off his t-shirt, and Yoongi noticed that he had the same tattoo that you had on your right should smack dab in the middle of his chest.

“Him and Kibum double teamed me,” Yoongi shrugged. “I had no choice.”

“Figures,” Namjoon chuckled.

“What are you doing here Y/N?” Yoongi found himself asking. “You seem a little too high maintenance for hunting.”

“High maintenance my ass,” you scoffed. “You sure your ‘Prime’ senses will be working well enough for you to even hunt?”

“Don’t worry about it. Speaking of senses though, wouldn’t it be too much for you to be hunting Omega?” Yoongi questioned, taking a little pleasure in the way that your scent soured a little.

“You wanna see how dangerous it can get, you keep talking, dumb ass Alpha,” you spat back.

“Oh my god, enough,” Jungkook chuckled. “Are you two gonna do this shit every single time you see each other?”

“If he wants to keep going, then I can too,” you smirked, making Yoongi roll his eyes.

“Never thought you would’ve been the petty type Y/N-ah,” Taehyung laughed as he took his own shirt off, and Yoongi noticed that he had the same tattoo that you and Namjoon had on his left shoulder.

“Alright guys, you all know the rules but I’m gonna reiterate since Yoongi’s new here,” Namjoon began, silence falling over the small crowd. “Stay within pack territory, you’ll be able to smell the scent markers. Please don’t try to take down anything big if you don’t think you’ll be able to handle it.”

“I don’t want to have to patch any of you guys up,” you added with a smile.

“And lastly, if you run into anyone else on our territory and if you smell anyone else that’s not a part of the pack, no fighting,” Namjoon finished. “You come get me and I’ll handle it. Understood?” A murmur of confirmations flowed through the air, making Namjoon nod in satisfaction. “Well, let’s go.”

Everyone darted off then and Yoongi did the same, following behind Taehyung as they ran deeper into the forest. Since Yoongi hadn’t been hunting in almost three weeks, feeling the wind whipping against his face and scalp seemed to make him almost come alive again. Yoongi loved to hunt, especially since he was exceptionally good at it (even for a Prime Alpha) and it was one of the few things that he was praised for in his former pack so being able to finally do it again was a literal breath of fresh air.

Deciding to be smart, Yoongi had mostly let Taehyung and Jungkook lead him through the forest, since they both knew their territory better than he did. He helped them take down some rabbits and squirrels, and even some groundhogs and woodchucks.

“Wow Yoongi hyung, your nose is amazing,” Jungkook smiled as he strung the rabbits up together, making them easier to take back to the dining hall for preservation. “Oh, is it ok if I call you hyung?”

“Sure,” Yoongi shrugged, figuring that if Taehyung was already doing it, then there was no harm in Jungkook saying it.

“God, I’m definitely going hunting with you all the time now,” Taehyung announced giddily. “I’ve never caught this much, this fast, and this easily.”

“I’m looking forward to that,” Yoongi muttered sarcastically, freezing immediately afterwards when he caught a whiff of the air.

“What is it?” Jungkook wondered, noticing how he froze.

“It’s musk deer,” Yoongi whispered, turning around quickly as he tried to get a better idea of where exactly the deer was. “Stay here.”

“Hyung, you can’t take down a deer by yourself,” Taehyung murmured. “Your wrist.”

“Shut up,” Yoongi stated simply, stalking away from them and moving quickly to his left, the scent of the deer becoming stronger and stronger. He stopped behind a tree, smiling to himself when he saw the deer grazing on some grass in the small clearing between the tree he was hiding behind and another. The deer was totally unaware of it’s surroundings, and Yoongi just knew that it would be an easy takedown.

Just as he moved from behind the tree to pounce at the deer, he was blindsided as he felt a blow connect to his knee and knock him down onto the ground hard.

“What the fuck?!” He sneered, shaking his head as he tried to regain his composure. When he looked up, he saw you there, standing in front of the now dead deer.

“Hi,” you smiled, waving your hand at him lightly.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He questioned as he stood up, dusting his clothes off.

“Oh, was this your deer?” You asked innocently. “Don’t worry. It’s probably better that I took him off your hands for you.”

“You smelled me here,” he accused you and you shrugged your shoulders while smirking.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t,” you vacillated. “Maybe I just wanted to show you what dangerous really looks like.” Feeling himself seething with anger, he just spun around on his heel and began to walk away, stomping back towards Jungkook and Taehyung. As he did so though, he couldn’t help but to wonder who the fuck you were and how the fuck you had learned to be such a damned good hunter as an Omega; almost even better than him.

#bts #bangtanarmynet #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts yoongi #bts suga #suga x reader #yoongi x reader #abo yoongi #abo suga #yoongi smut #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #suga smut #suga angst #suga fluff #werewolf bts

229 notes · View notes

luvknow · 4 years

Text

anything for you | lee felix

genre: rich kid!felix x reader | rich kid au ; friends-to-lovers au ; food ; swearing warning ; alcohol warning ; drinking and driving warning ; abuse warning summary: felix’s family owns the largest restaurant franchise in the country and your family works under them. you two have spent your entire lives together and somehow you’ve turned into mini versions of your parents with a boss and secretary type relationship. it wasn’t until last year on his birthday when he tells you he loves you while drunk that your friendship dynamic dramatically changes, and it’s not for the better when he pretends it never happened. wc: 11.2k

You and Felix were two peas in a pod.

From the moment you two were born until your last months at university, you were tied in this relationship for life. Were you two dating? No, of course not! Were you two friends? Well…

Your friendship with Felix was complicated because it was kind of… bought. There was no way to put it lightly, that was simply the origin of your relationship. It all started when Felix’s rich ass CEO of a Dad hired your Dad to be his right hand man in all decision-making aspects of the company he ran. You thought of your Dad as a Chancellor to the King, which I mean was still a high position in the company, but your peers around you thought otherwise.

You attended all the same schools as Felix (thanks to his Dad’s connections), attended the same after school activities (also thanks to his Dad), and even attended the same overseas summer camps (thanks to his Dad who owned the plane that flew everyone). Even then, after being on the same level as Felix for over twenty years, everyone saw you as Felix’s Secretary who waited on his every word. As a kid, your Dad was transparent about how all the privileges you had were all because of Felix and his family and that you should always treat them with respect. And as an impressionable kid, of course you took that a little too literal.

Your Secretary title started in Pre-School when Felix was crying because he forgot his toy to take a nap with at home, so you offered yours. Those small, kind gestures turned into getting him drinks and snacks whenever he wanted, to tutoring him in subjects he had trouble with, to completing essays he didn’t want to complete, and you did it all without ever complaining.

So despite receiving all the same opportunities as all the other inheritance-dependent kids, you were the bottom-feeder of your entire grade.

“_____ ~” Felix whined while entering your apartment. “I’m hungry.”

You exited your bedroom fixing the last couple buttons on your dress shirt. You’re not surprised to see him in the least, as you’re used to him coming in whenever he pleased since he owned the other copy of the apartment keys. “I have food in the fridge.”

“I don’t want a huge meal before the shareholders meeting.”

“You know where the snacks are, what are you waiting for?”

“I just wanted to ask just in case.”

The excited boy wasted no time invading your pantry and grabbing a handful of fruit snack packets, some he stuffed in his dress pants pockets and some he immediately tore open. He made himself home by flopping on your couch, also known as his second bed, and scrolled through his rotation of dating apps while waiting for his dear friend to finish getting ready.

“Don’t lie down like that!” you nagged. “Your pants are going to get all wrinkly!”

Rolling his eyes, Felix sat up straight, to which you immediately fixed random strands of hair that strayed away from the rest of his slick-back style.

“What are you, my mom?” he mumbled, swatting away your hands.

“Don’t you know how important this meeting is? We could land our internships today.”

“Do you really think I need to worry about that?”

“I guess not… You don’t even want to try out another company for a semester? Scope out your partners?”

“That’s exactly why I shouldn’t be doing that. I’ll look so shady! You probably shouldn’t be thinking about doing that either.”

A small pout emerges from your lips. As much as you owe the Lees and their company your life, you’d like to think the possibility of freeing yourself from their financial shackles was high, even if it was for just one semester. But Felix was right - in order to avoid any spying controversies, it was probably best to not even think about another company. Basically, you were trapped with this company for life.

“Ready to go?” Felix broke the silence. He was the first to leave your couch and head for the door without even bothering to wait for you to catch up.

When you finished locking your front door, you caught Felix looking at your business casual outfit a little too closely. If you weren’t so quick with your reflexes, you would have bumped right into his oddly bulging chest (has he been working out lately?). Still, his foxy eyes scanned you up and down, slowly and intimately.

“Wh-What are you doing…?” you asked nervously. “Is my outfit too bland? It’s ugly, isn’t it? I can’t really glam up for a business meeting, you know.”

“Chill, why are you being hella defensive right now?” he teased. “No, you look good. Honest. Good enough to stand next to me, at least. I wouldn’t stand next to Father if I were you.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“You kind of fit that secretary stereotype you like so much. Especially since you’ll be following me around all day.”

“I do not!”

“Yeah, ok,” Felix tossed you the keys to his expensive black sports car, to which you were also covered as a driver by his insurance. For someone who owns several expensive cars, he sure hates driving them. “Shotty.”

“There’s only two of us…”

The car ride was mostly silent other than the deafening rap music that blared through the subwoofers. Felix could tell you were nervous depending on how talkative you were. If you were blabbering on about how you looked or something arbitrary for at least fifteen minutes, you were probably nervous about a date or maybe a quiz that was coming up in class. If you were silent, he knew that the matter was much more serious. Silence meant that you believed no matter what you did to change yourself or improve upon past mistakes, there was no hope and that whatever was coming was absolute.

“Don’t worry about today,” he reassured after reading your mind. “It’s not like you’re talking in front of hundreds of people at the meeting.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re used to this type of crowd.”

“Are you not? We have class with those good-for-nothing kids of theirs, it’s like the same thing!”

“It is definitely not the same thing! These people have power and they’re smart! The uni is full of idiots who got in with bribes!”

“And you don’t think our shareholders do their fair share of bribing?”

“Of course they do, and that’s what makes them even more terrifying, Felix! They have that kind of power to either buy my entire life or buy out and make sure I never see anyone’s faces again!”

“You say it like you haven’t been shackled to me for over twenty years.”

“That’s different ok, I was a commodity, I couldn’t change anything as a fetus.”

“And now you think you can?”

“I mean, I’d like to think so. Am I crazy?”

“No, not at all.” Gingerly, Felix patted your head like a little kid. “You’ll be just fine ~ I can even introduce you to the ones you want to talk to if you’d like.”

“That’s ok. I’d like to try on my own.”

He understood completely. How he wished he could have that little bit of freedom… To even think about leaving the company behind to work for someone else was blasphemous.

The shareholders meeting was a social event like no other - like, it might as well be a ball with all the people attending and all the press surrounding and being in the building. You pulled up to the normal valet guy who only chuckled at your shocked expression. Felix, on the other hand, wasn’t all that surprised and was rather annoyed at how something as simple as a meeting was getting this much attention.

After dodging all of the press and making it through several thresholds to reach the conference room, you helped Felix prepare for his opening speech.

“You seem more nervous than me,” Felix teased while you quickly smoothed out the wrinkles in his jacket.

“I'm nervous all the damn time.”

“Well, can you quit it before I start sweating? This outfit was expensive. Do you have my speech?”

Searching through your trusty bottomless bag that held everything from tips from your part-time at the cafe to snacks in case Felix got whiny, you pulled out a medium-sized notepad with his opening speech written on it.

“Really, _____? Hand written?”

“My sentences sound better when I write them down instead of typing it!”

“At least it’s legible.” Felix’s Dad announced over the microphone on stage that the meeting will begin shortly. He saw the both of you standing off to the side and waved happily, to which you both could only wave back. The boy in front of you sighed, and it’s the first time today he seemed only slightly nervous. He turned to you. “How do I look?”

How did the most handsome boy you’ve come to know look this morning? Dressed in navy with a white button-down, ears bejeweled and shining in the bright lights, his eyes and his smile sly and foxy, so of course to you he was the only one in the room who you had your eyes on because no one else could ever compare. That’s how it’s always been.

Gentle fingers startled Felix, only for him to realize you were fixing his monogrammed silver tie clip. “You look just fine.”

“‘Just fine’? Not the sexiest man in the entire world?”

“I’d hardly call you a man…”

“Welcome to the YONGBOK Inc. Shareholders Meeting,” greeted your Father while on stage. Felix noticeably cringed at the sound of his birth name slash company name. “We will begin this meeting with an opening remark from Mr. Lee’s son, Felix.”

“Go get ‘em, Tiger,” you whispered with two thumbs up.

A loud round of applause erupted from the audience filled with press and shareholders. Lee Felix was named one of the most influential people under twenty-five this year and has consistently landed spots on Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list so yes, Felix was always highly anticipated as a guest to fashion shows and charity balls and even more so as a speaker for his future company. Though it was only less than a minute ago he was jittery with nerves, the second he stepped on stage in front of the podium, it was as if he was born to be a public speaker.

“Good morning, honored guests,” he began in his deep voice that startled unfamiliar guests..

His speech - your speech - wasn’t that long, since it was a simple welcome to all the rich people who gave the Lee’s their money. Regardless of its length, Felix somehow drifted his gaze towards the right where you stood. You, who always stood by him and was his friend through everything, stood at the sidelines giving him your unwavering support, even through this minor milestone. Despite this huge corporate building being the last place you want to be, still, you were here by his side.

In your eyes though, it looked like maybe his stage fright was worse than you expected, so you gave him two thumbs up again for reassurance. You couldn’t really tell what he was thinking because he seemed totally fine, in fact his execution was quite flawless, it was just… Why wouldn’t he look into the cameras? The stage lights that shined on him showcased the bright grin he gave when he saw how confused you looked.

“We will continue to work hard together so that YONGBOK will continue being the best restaurant franchise in the country,” was the motto of the company and how Felix ended the speech. With a deep bow and a wink for fan service, he exited the stage.

He fell into your arms clutching his heart. “Ugh, that was so scary!”

“You did fine,” you mumbled, quickly pushing him off before any cameras caught you. Still, he swung an arm around your shoulders unapologetically.

“All right, let’s ditch this popsicle stand.”

“You know we can’t do that or our Fathers will kill us.”

“You think I haven’t died and resurrected like a rising phoenix dozens of times?”

“Leave if you want, it’s your suicide.”

“You won’t come with me?” the handsome boy pouted.

“I’m not actually your secretary, you know.”

“I know, but I’ll be so lonely… Did you at least bring a snack?”

Felix decided to stay when he realized you weren’t kidding about wanting to sit through the entire meeting. Your right ear was focused on all the questions shareholders and the press had while your left ear focused on the child you were babysitting playing with the chocolate bar wrapper. Eventually the conflicting sounds merged into one when the lack of caffeine in your veins made it hard to concentrate for long hours.

“Bet you wished you left with me a couple hours ago, huh?” Felix teased once everything was over.

“Whatever. The important thing is that it’s over now.”

“Are you going to go talk with some of the shareholders?”

That was the original plan - to land an internship at a different company and slowly but surely escape the bubble that is the Lees’ world, but what was the use of making life harder on yourself if you’ll just be seen as a spy? What was the use in anything anymore when your life was determined the moment you came out of the womb?

You shook your head tiredly. “Nah, I think I’ll save that for another time.”

Felix linked his arm with yours like you were the gentleman and he was the lady. The warmth of another body so close to yours was only familiar when it was his, and you wished your body was unbiased and rejected anything within a five feet radius. “You wanna hang out with me that much?”

“Who said I’m hanging out with you? I’m driving you home.”

“No come on, let’s hang out today! Neither of us have class and when was the last time it was just the two of us?”

By ‘just the two of you’, he meant when was the last time you and him hung out without any business involved? When was the last time you and him had pizza together after a long week of midterms and studying, or the last time he picked you up from your part time at the cafe to have a cup of coffee, or the last time you talked about anything other than being ordered around by the Prince himself?

The answer to that question was last year on his birthday when he got too wasted and you didn’t have the strength to carry him up his multi-story mansion, so instead you carried him up to your humble apartment and let him crash on your bed the whole weekend (insisted upon staying the whole weekend because all the puking made him ‘weak’ and ‘dehydrated’).

Truth be told, you loved Felix’s company, whether it was business or personal. The hesitation was because you wondered if he truly felt the same way, especially since he never spoke about that night on his birthday. That night, a lot was said, but nothing was ever confirmed, so you were left in limbo while Felix managed to live in ignorant bliss.

It was better this way.

“I guess it’s been a while…” you trailed off.

“It’s been forever, love. Can we go to your cafe? I’m really craving the strawberry milk latte thing.”

“Anything for you, Felix ~”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

“Felix,” the haunting voice of his father echoed from behind. “Come here for a second -”

“That’s our cue!” The wild blond took you by the hand and sprinted out the conference room doors before his dad could catch him.

As if already predicting the time of events for the shareholders meeting, the valet already had the sports call pulled up and tossed you the keys for maximum efficiency.

“Hey, you’re hand-eye coordination is getting better!” Felix teased while hopping in the front seat.

“And your fear for your dad is not.”

“It’s not fear, it’s pure distaste. Completely different.”

The short ride to your cafe was anything but quiet as Felix filled you in on his most recent Tinder match. The story was something along the lines of ‘she was hot, but kind of stupid’, and you weren’t exactly sure what came after that because, well, you didn’t care. Hearing about the guy you were in love with slash your childhood friend slash the guy whose family bought out your family’s current dating app situation wasn’t exactly the most ideal setting, but hey, it beats sitting in that conference room for any longer.

The cafe was surprisingly not as busy around lunch time, even though it was Friday. Other than a few customers, the only other person in the cafe was your coworker Wooyoung who was busy dramatically singing to whatever drama OST was playing over the intercom.

“Are you making it?” Felix asked, referring to his strawberry latte.

“I wasn’t planning on it since I’m not working.”

“... Can you?”

“Are you serious!?”

“The last time someone other than you made my drinks, they tasted watery!”

He wasn’t wrong - a lot of the baristas here were a bit lazy with the job. You and Wooyoung were among the very few who genuinely cared for the cafe, the menu, and its customers. You supposed you could take a moment to step away from Felix - you sort of missed the barista behind the counter, anyways.

“Sit tight,” you told Felix, who obeyed happily at his favorite table.

Wooyoung with his cutesy cheeky grin chucked one of the ugly brown work aprons right at your face, to which you only whipped right back.

“I’m not working and you know that!”

“Can’t a guy dream to have the same shift with his favorite coworker? What are you doing here then?”

“Making a strawberry latte.”

“For yourself or for His Highness over there?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

Wooyoung knew all too well what your relationship was like with Felix and that was because he was also one of the elite, also known as a trust fund son. Wooyoung and Felix were from the same side of a coin, reigning from families whose net worth could buy out entire towns. The circle of the elite had a lot of members, but it was tight-knit, so everyone knew everything about everyone else. You were included in Felix’s dossier.

“You know, _____, you are your own person,” Wooyoung tisked as he hovered over you making the fruity drink. It was as simple as pouring milk over some strawberry compote (Felix liked it when there was extra compote) and shaking vigorously.

“You telling me that whenever I come in with him totally makes it more valid than the last time.”

“You know I’m just looking out for you.” His soft fingers gently pinched your cheeks. “You’re so sour today, I kind of like it.”

“Aren’t you known for liking people who have zero interest in you?”

“Exactly, so you better watch your attitude or I’ll steal you away from Mr. Lee Felix ~”

“You’re so weird!” Even so, Wooyoung stole a kiss on your bruised cheek before helping the customer at the counter. The aftermath left your face burning up, even though you were used to his flirtatiousness by now.

Of course Felix saw the entire interaction. Though he tried to hide behind his phone, he made sure to still have a view of whatever you and that spoiled ‘I-own-a-yacht’ Wooyoung were doing. You were much different around him than you were with that cheeky bastard behind the counter. With Felix, you were strict, quiet, and pouty, but with Wooyoung you were able to smile more and joke around and even laugh when you flicked whipped cream in his hair. In those short five minutes, that was a type of you he hasn’t been able to see since high school.

But now? You were so cold and distant. He could barely hang out with you without it seeming like it was some business meeting. What changed?

Felix watched you walk back to him holding his pink drink with your cheeks to match its color.

“I didn’t know you two were so close,” he said bitterly after you both exited the cafe.

“We work together, of course we’re close. You’re welcome, by the way.”

You’ll take his happy humming as he inhaled the latte as a thank you. “You talk about how much you hate some of your coworkers all the time!”

“I guess I do… but he’s different.”

“Of course he is…”

The handsome and pouty boy beside you did his best to ignore your accusing glare. “Do you have some beef with him, or something.”

“No,” he said simply in between gulps. “I just don’t like him.”

“You don’t like any boy I talk to.”

“Exactly.”

“So what happens when I really like someone? Do they need your ‘Lee Seal of Approval’?”

“Yup.”

You sighed heavily. “Why do you enjoy making my life so hard?”

“Because I love you, that’s why!”

You couldn’t count on all your fingers and toes how many times Felix has said ‘I love you’ since his birthday party. With his special day coming up again, the words hit harder than usual, even when you knew he was joking, but no ‘I love you’ hurt more than the first time he said it last year before he passed out on your bed.

Speaking of which, “Sooo ~ Guess what next week is ~?” Felix sang cheekily after hopping in the car.

“Uh, midterms week?”

“No ~”

“Buy one get one free soju at the karaoke place?”

“No…”

“Oh wait, isn’t it Han’s birthday next week?” He knew you were trying to push his buttons, but it clearly worked by the way he was glaring at you. “Yeah, that must be it.”

“So mean…”

“Are you two throwing a joint party again?”

“Yeah, but I think we’re skipping the club scene and throwing it at his house instead.”

“Wow, the Lee Felix is tired of the club scene?” you scoffed. “Never thought I would see the day.”

“Maybe it’s just my eyesight getting worse - I’d like to see who I’m hitting on for once.” One sharp stab in your heart. “Will you help me plan?”

Did you really have any other choice? “Of course.”

“Yes ~ This’ll totally top last year’s party!”

You sure hoped so, and you hoped you wouldn’t remember a single moment of it.

Planning for the party didn’t start until a couple days before the big date. Since Jisung was hosting, it was Felix’s responsibility to come up with all the decor and the theme and literally all the smaller bits and pieces of the party.

“Honey, I’m home ~” Felix sang as he walked into your apartment. An aroma of fresh spices and cooked meat and roasted vegetables hit his nose upon entering. “Whoa, are you cooking!?”

“We can’t plan on an empty stomach,” you stated the obvious. Immediately, a bowl of rice and the fixings was handed to the grinning boy.

“I love it when you cook. I haven’t eaten your cooking in a while.”

“I didn’t know you liked my cooking,” you blushed. “I haven’t cooked for you that often.”

“It’s because we’re both always so busy or we just eat the restaurant’s food when we’re lazy.” A happy hum came from his lips. “You have a mad talent for this, you know.”

“Do I?”

“Of course! The Boy with the God Tongue himself said so!” Being the future heir of the country’s largest restaurant franchise meant ridiculous chef-related nicknames, to which Felix enjoyed whole-heartedly. “You know this means I’m never going to let you leave YONGBOK.”

“Can you stop, you’re so embarrassing, it’s not that amazing!”

“You stop! Quit undermining your talents.”

“If it’s so good, what do you like about it?”

“For one, there’s tons of balance between the flavors. It’s also not as salty, which is what some of the chefs in some locations are having trouble with lately. But the best part is that it feels like home when I eat your cooking.”

“Like home? Like… as if your in-house chef was cooking it?”

Felix chuckled cutely. “No, I mean it feels like someone who loves me very much made this with lots of care.”

You’re too stunned to say anything right away. It felt as if Felix caught you in his trap and was forcing you to admit something that he knew from the very start. But now was not the time nor was it the place. As a response, you turned away and chugged the rest of your glass of water.

“Right,” you cleared your throat awkwardly. “G-Glad you liked it.”

Felix wondered why you wouldn’t look at him. “S-So, let’s get started?”

You took a bowl of food for yourself and refilled Felix’s before settling down at the table. “Do you have an idea for a theme?”

“Ok, hear me out - casino themed?”

“Isn't that underage gambling? Sounds super illegal to me.”

“Right, right… Ok, how about, uh, a masquerade?”

“Not bad, but a little cliche, no?”

“But it’s so sexy! Classy clothes, bejeweled masks -”

“Choreographed waltzing?”

“Yes! For the first half of course, then we’ll probably bump the real shit after a couple of drinks.”

“Hm, I actually like that.” You entered the theme into your notes. “Cool, we have a theme down. Now for all the decoration…”

That itself took about an hour. Imagine, talking about banners and balloon arches, and personalized masks for a whole hour with the most indecisive human being alive. How he’s expected to make major decisions for a multi-million dollar company one day, you’ll never know.

“Ugh,” you were over it, at least for another hour. You couldn’t take comparing different shades of gold and different grades of champagne anymore. Your couch was supposed to be your safe space away from Felix, but he followed you like a puppy and laid his head on your lap.

“This weekend is going to be so much fun! Did you get me a gift yet ~?”

“Uh, maybe…”

“What is it?”

“It’s a surprise, silly.”

“Can I at least get a hint?”

“Probably the cheapest gift you’ll get.”

“Hey.” Felix silenced any doubt you had about your gift by taking one of your hands in his and holding it over his chest. He closed his eyes, tired from the day, tired by your constant doubts, tired of it all. “You know I don’t care about that kind of stuff when it comes to you.”

“I know, but I do.”

“Well, don’t. My favorite gifts have always been from you.”

“Even more than the diamond chain from Chan?”

“... Your gifts are my favorite after that one.” Your free hand poked his freckled cheek, causing him to laugh and smile brighter than the sun. Lying here with you made him happy. “I miss hanging out with you like this.”

“We hang out all the time!”

“Not like this. We never just chill out together and not worry about anything. We’re always worrying about something, especially since we started uni.”

“Uni sort of defines our future, so of course there’s tons to worry about.”

“Not for me. My life has been predetermined. If you think about it, uni doesn’t define your future, either.”

“I wish you didn’t tell me that,” you groaned. “You’re so right. What’s the point when the two of us are just going to take over our Father’s positions, anyways!?”

“Does our future together sound that miserable to you?” he teased. You wished he didn’t word it that way.

“Not miserable, but doesn’t it suck that we don’t have that sort of freedom? You and I have had our lives predetermined since birth!”

“Perhaps it was fate that you would be my Chancellor and I would be your King,” Felix snickered.

“Call it whatever you want, but where’s the joy we could get from spontaneity and disorder?”

“Good point. But I think you and I will find that joy just fine.”

“You think so?”

“Mhm. Life will always be a joy if I’m with you.” A tired smile spread across his lips. “You and I make a disorderly pair.”

You and him were definitely a disorderly pair. It was like you two were in a modern-day forbidden friendship that was only seen in royal fairy tales. Felix was the Prince, the apple of everyone’s eye, the boy with the highest ranking just below the King. You were the lowly common person who devoted their life to the castle and serving the royal family. Somehow, even with the drastic gap between your social classes, you both found each other and became inseparable.

Through childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, the time spent together naturally formed your feelings for Felix to nothing less than love. You were the number one witness of seeing him laugh, smile, cry, and scream through all his happiness, sadness, and anger. You were the only one who knew the exact number of freckles that dusted his cheeks. You knew what specific snacks he wanted for certain craving occasions, his favorite orders at every restaurant, how he liked his instant ramen (with egg, American cheese, and green onions), and especially his cafe drink orders. When they say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, you supposed that was especially true for Felix.

After over twenty whole years together, how the fuck were you supposed to avoid falling in love? How were you supposed to look at Felix and feel with your whole chest that you were not madly in love with his beautiful face and his kind heart? When Felix told you he loved you with slurred words on his birthday last year, how were you supposed to let that go and live on like you didn’t cry in the shower for a whole month afterwards?

You put the blame for the disorder in this messed-up friendship all on Felix, but you couldn’t help but clean it up and do your best to keep it together. So when he forgot he said those magic words, you did your best to forget them, too, but the best you could do was bury the memory away and cover it up with work and school. It wasn’t the most ideal way to deal with the issue, you knew that, but the important part was that it was working even if it was just a little bit.

Felix was the first to wake up the next morning. You didn’t move a single muscle and ended up sleeping upright since he used you as a pillow. Still, your hand was in his and the other tangled in his messy blond hair and truly, being here with you was the only place that felt like home.

The day of the party was filled with chaos on your end, as you had to wake up at 6:00 am just to make it to Jisung’s pool house in time to set up the decorations for the joint birthday party. You ended up directing all the crews to where the cocktail tables needed to be set up, where the instagram photobooth should go, and where the Michelin-star chefs were going to set up for dinner. The most important part was the dance floor, which would be clean with nothing but some shoe scuffs for the first couple of hours and probably stained with different colors of liquor by the end of the night.

By noon you were totally wiped out having a stomach full of only coffee and a granola bar. The worst part was that you didn’t get a chance to buy a mask yet and would probably have to settle for some cheap recycled paper with sequins and feathers glued on it from the birthday party store down the block.

But as if the Gods’ translated your feelings telepathically to Felix, your Prince in shining armor came to the rescue with a sandwich, more coffee, and something in a matte black gift bag. The gesture, though small, made your cheeks burn the brightest of pinks. It was your first time seeing and talking with Felix since he left the comfort of your lap a couple of nights ago. Although you were unsure of yourself (as with any situation, am I right?), the Prince didn’t seem so phased.

“I figured you could use a pick-me-up,” he grinned brightly, handing you all the goods.

“You are a blessing,” you sighed, chugging the iced coffee. “What’s in the black bag?”

“It’s a surprise. Open it.”

“I thought today was your birthday?”

“It’s nothing big, I promise!”

You shot him a skeptical look, but opened up the gift regardless. Inside was an intricately bejeweled mask for tonight, colored perfectly to match your outfit.

“I went to your apartment because I thought you’d be there,” Felix began shyly. “I went to your room and saw your entire outfit laid out, but no mask, so I figured you didn’t have one yet. I bought one to match your outfit and to match mine! Mine looks exactly like that, but black.”

“You really didn’t have to,” you pouted, though staring at the shiny jewels adoringly. It was gorgeous and you never thought in your lifetime you could own anything so glamorous. The gesture lifted an extremely loaded weight off your shoulders and you couldn’t help but hug the birthday boy as a thank you. “You’re the best, thank you.”

“Anything for you, love.”

“Also, please stop going into my bedroom.”

“What, afraid I’m going to raid your panties?”

“Yes.”

“That’s fair.”

Felix spent the rest of the day helping you make the pool house perfect since it was also technically his job as the co-host. Holding the ladder while you hung up crystal decor was reminiscent of past Christmas parties that his family hosted. Your two families would come together and prepare the cookies, the eggnog, and the presents for the whole morning before the big party that started around dinner time, and you and Felix were in charge of the Christmas tree. He’s not too big on heights, so he always made you hang the ornaments on the top layer. It was a very adult networking and old people gambling games type of party, so you and Felix would always sneak off into his basement and play video games or watch corny movies with a stolen tray of sugar cookies.

The Christmas before uni was probably the last one where you two felt like kids and didn’t have to worry about what kinds of feelings would get in the way of your beautiful friendship.

“Ugh, my calves are burning,” you whined on your way down from the ladder. Your legs gave out on the second step down and the weight of your tired body pulled you down, causing you to drop to your death from a mere five feet above.

Luckily, your Prince had quick reflexes and caught you bridal style. As kids, it was surprising when Felix could carry anything even half his weight with his twiggy arms, but the fact that he could hold you without struggling or even breaking a sweat was the closest you’ve ever experienced a miracle.

A gentle, handsome smile came from his lips. “You ok?” he asked in his deep voice.

No, you’re definitely not, but lying was ok in this situation. “F-F-Fine! I am fine!”

“Are you sure?”

“Y-Yes! Uh, you can put me down now…!”

“Hm, but I kind of like holding you like this.” You hit his rock-hard chest lightly, to which he recoiled dramatically before placing you down gently. “Is that how you thank your hero!?”

“Thank you, My Hero.”

“That’s more like it.”

It wasn’t until around dinner time when you left Felix alone to be in charge of guiding all the caterers to their cooking spots while you sped home to get ready as fast as you could. You didn’t want to leave Felix in charge for more than an hour, otherwise there would be more room for error.

You must have had such little faith in him because he did as was told without any issues and was done well before the party was going to start. He took the down time to put on his satin black suit and fix his blond hair before putting on the matching mask. While looking in the floor-to-ceiling mirror, of course he admitted to himself that he would be the sexiest one at the party, but something about the view didn’t seem right. He didn’t have you beside him hyping him up like always. The view in the mirror was lonely without you.

“Good job with the chefs!” you called into the dressing room unannounced.

Felix could see you jogging in wearing the full outfit he saw on your bed this morning, now complete with the mask he gifted you in the reflection of the mirror. The view of you was stunning, so much to the point that the Prince himself was too afraid to turn around and look at you with his own eyes. You reminded him of the story of Medusa, who would turn men into stone if they dared to look at you, and Felix thought that he was well past that point, already frozen in place with his jaw dropped and hands fixated on his crooked tie.

Luckily, you didn’t seem to notice as you stepped in between him and the mirror. The feel of your knuckles brushing up against his chest broke him free of his frozen state, causing him to hitch his breath in his throat. It was very un-Felix-like to be this nervous, especially before an event that circled around him, but perhaps it was his sobriety that made him jittery.

“You good?” you reciprocated after a long moment of silence.

Prince Felix cleared his throat before speaking. “Yeah.”

“Nervous?”

“I guess so.”

“What do you have to be nervous about other than being the center of attention in front of hundreds of people?” you teased lightly.

“It’s not like I know everyone, though.”

“What do you mean? You and Han invited all the people you normally party with.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like I’m friends with all of them. I don’t hang out with them before 10:00 pm.”

Even behind the mask, you could tell his nerves were sincere. “Are you having regrets about this party?”

“I wouldn’t say regrets… I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know you put a lot of work into this.”

“Do you not want to go -”

“No! No, I want to go.” To ditch a party you worked on for forty-eight hours would be like slapping you in the face and he knew that. But he also knew if he said yes, you would follow him wherever he’d go in a heartbeat because that’s how much you loved him. He cleared his throat once more. “Will you stay with me?”

You raised a brow, unsure if you heard correctly. “Stay with you?”

“As in, will you stay by my side tonight?”

“You want me by your side the whole night?” Oh, how the tables have turned, in which Felix with his blushing cheeks couldn’t look you in the eyes as he nodded shyly. It was hard to believe what you were seeing with your own eyes and you wondered if you were dreaming. “Ok.”

“Really?”

Softly, you straightened his mask. “Anything for you, birthday boy.”

The anxiety from the claustrophobia of the party was replaced with the thought of being with you the whole night, but this is how he’d rather be. No longer did he want to stay in this room he filled with bad energy, so he took you by the hand and led you back to the main room where guests quickly filled in. Anxiety filled his chest again and you felt it through his hand squeezing yours tightly, as if afraid you would let go and slip away into the crowd where he’d never see you for the rest of the night. You’re not sure what’s gotten into him and you didn’t want to make it worse, so you led him to the tables of food hoping he could fill the emptiness in hopes of loosening up a little.

Even while eating food, Felix refused to let go of your hand, so you had to act as his free hand and feed him gourmet finger foods.

“You’re even more of a baby on your birthday,” you scoffed.

“But you love babying me, right?” he teased.

“I don’t know if ‘love’ is the right answer…”

The beginning of the night was nothing short of energy-draining as every single guest came up to greet Felix on his birthday and greeted you second. It was crazy that even in a room full of hundreds of peers, the crowd was still able to distinguish the birthday boys from everyone else, but you supposed it was easy because who else was blond and this handsome? The same way you looked at Felix, everyone else also had their eyes on him because he was truly that stunning in a crowded room.

It was occasions like these when you felt most out of place. You only ‘belonged’ here because Felix was your ticket in, but you would never become one of the elite. You didn’t have all the luxury of buying a new outfit or new jewels for every occasion like everyone else here. You were a simple person in your humble apartment living your predetermined life and getting by without any conflict, all thanks to him. That was what made you believe for twenty years that you had no right to fall for Felix the way you did - you were nothing more than the King’s hired Chancellor.

Even so, when the whole room was looking at him, he only looked at you.

The next song was a common waltz song that was played at every masquerade party on the planet. With a hop in his step, you found the birthday boy in front of you bowing with his hand still in yours.

“Will you dance with me?” he asked dramatically like he was playing a character.

“Why, of course, Your Highness.”

Waltz dancing was definitely not the first talent you’d think of while wondering what Felix was good at, but to your surprise, it was like he’d been taking classes for years. You knew little-to-nothing about it yourself, but it was easier when your date took the lead and you didn’t have to think, just follow. It was a ride, honestly, and you couldn’t stop yourself from giggling, even when the dance finished with Felix dipping you, faces close and noses barely touching.

You hardly noticed his eyes shift to your lips in the midst of all the giggles. “When did you learn to do that!?”

“Last night,” he admitted sheepishly. “Are you impressed?”

“Very.”

“Then those three hours of Youtube tutorials were worth it.”

Your predicted cycle of food, dancing, alcohol, and back to food was correct. Several rounds lasted several hours to the point where you were at the perfect amount of tipsy, but still able to navigate, although if any more rounds of alcohol were going to happen, you might be in trouble. Keeping up with the birthday boy was so hard!

But you didn’t mind, because the poison made you forget about how much you didn’t belong there and swept any overreaction to Felix’s affection under the rug, though it was getting harder to do the latter, as each shot meant closing the distance between you and him. Somehow, you went from holding his hand to his hand never leaving your waste, with your bodies keeping close contact, a feeling you’ve always been familiar with even when sober, but this time was different.

“So,” he began in the middle of the dance floor. “When do I get my gift?”

“How about after your birthday cake?”

“Birthday cake?”

On cue, the lights dimmed and the music stopped. Jisung found his way next to Felix and all the chefs rolled out a giant tiered cake with candles on it, cueing all the guests to sing happy birthday. You made sure to keep the design simple, but the flavors immaculate and matching the boys’ palates because that was the most important part. Even from afar, you could smell the chocolate.

You tried to step away from him so that he and Jisung could have the spotlight together, but even then he didn’t want you to leave. He squeezed your side a little tighter, a silent gesture that said, ‘please don’t go.’

By now, you were starting to sober up a bit and that was a bad sign because now you were realizing that this whole night would be forgotten tomorrow, just like last year. Still, you stayed by his side because that’s what he wanted.

Why it had to be you, you’ll never know, but the feeling was too right to question it.

At the end of the song, the birthday boys blew out the candles and the cheers deafened your ear drums. What shocked you next was the feeling of soft lips on your cheek.

“Thank you,” Felix whispered with so much adoration. “For everything.”

You’ll never be able to recover from tonight. “Why are you like this all of a sudden? Have you had too much to drink?”

A cute giggle escaped his lips. “No, I’m fine. This day feels extra special, that’s all. You’re the reason.”

Felix was such a smooth honey talker when there was a little something swimming in his bloodstream. You should know better not to take these words to heart, but you can’t help it when they’ve all you’ve ever wanted to hear. A repeat of last year was bound to happen any second.

You did your best to avoid the compliment. “Do you want your gift now?”

“Ooh, yes!”

The gift was hidden in the room you find him in earlier today. You were too embarrassed to set it up next to the gift table that was dressed in bags with brands like Cartier and Gucci, so you stashed it away from the rest. The bouncy and excited boy had the widest grin on his face, impatiently waiting for you to present him with what you had.

“Close your eyes,” you demanded.

Felix held out his hands with his eyes closed and expected something small, like a watch or a cupcake or some plush toy that he could strap on his keychain, but instead nearly stumbled forward holding something as heavy as a textbook.

“Ok, open your eyes.”

He wasn’t too far off, actually. In his hands was a thick, heavy book titled “Felix & _____” that you printed out on an embossed label maker. Inside were infinite pages of pictures, stamps, receipts, travel brochures, foreign currency, movie tickets, anything and everything from most if not all the memories you spent together over the past twenty years. The first few pages were filled with old film pictures and polaroids you had to steal from your parents and the later pages progressively got more crowded with trinkets and things when you two were old enough to hang out on your own.

For a while, Felix was silent as he flipped through all the memories. There wasn’t a smile on his face, no tears streaming down his cheeks, in fact he was emotionless and now you were confused. He told you he didn’t care about money or the cost of gifts when it came to you, but…

“You hate it,” you stated rather than asking.

Felix looked up at you, completely sobered up, with the most incredulous expression. “Of course not,” he reassured softly. “I love it. So much. You saved all of this…?”

“I saved every receipt that wasn’t smudged with barbecue sauce or oil and every movie ticket since the start. I had boxes full of it and I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I didn’t have the heart to throw it away, so I made you a scrapbook. It took forever, but luckily your family’s historian captured a lot of the earlier stuff.” Felix was listening, but his eyes were fixated on the last page, where you pasted a single picture of a selfie you two took just a couple days ago. “Happy birthday, Felix.”

Flipping through the scrapbook made him realize that yes, so much has changed between the two of you. There’s so much growth and care and love in between the pages and the fine lines that isn’t seen unless you look for it. As he looked at you, with your cheeks dusted scarlet and wearing your heart on your sleeve, perhaps him pretending he didn’t tell you he loved you last year was what was slowly drifting you away from him, because how were you going to deny to his face that you didn’t love him, too?

Perhaps it was best you would admit it to him on your own time. For now, he hoped a gentle kiss on your forehead would push you a little bit.

His rose petal lips left your forehead tingling. “You’re the best. Thank you.”

When Felix tried to close the gap in between, you took a large step back. You couldn’t look him in his eyes and now he’s confused and his heart hurts.

“Why do you keep doing that?” you asked.

“Doing what?”

“Holding my hand, holding me, kissing me…”

“Oh, I thought you were ok with all of that.”

You take a deep breath. You can’t let last year repeat itself. “You’re wrong.”

“I’m wrong?”

“You can’t just do that whenever you feel like it.”

“Do what!?”

“Play with my feelings!” You took another breath to calm you down and prevent anymore tears that were about to pool. “I have feelings, Felix. You can’t just use me whenever you feel like it and take it all back like it never happened the next morning!”

“I have feelings, too. How the fuck else was I supposed to deal with the night I told you I love you and you didn’t say it back?”

You’re left stunned and speechless. Felix just admitted to you that he once told you he loved you. He didn’t have to say when for you to know that he was talking about the inebriated self on your bed mumbling those three words as you tucked him in on his birthday last year.

“You didn’t say it back and I thought you didn’t feel the same, so I pretended to forget all about it. But now I know you feel the same,” he begged desperately. “I just know. Tell me I’m wrong, _____. Tell me I’m wrong to think that after all these years together, I think you fell in love with me the same way I fell in love with you.”

You couldn’t say anything. You couldn’t admit that he was right because he was drunk then and he’s still a little intoxicated now. But even if he’s right, even though you both knew how much you loved every cell of Felix, what if all this sweet talk was brewed by the mix of drinks that settled in his core? What if he forgets again tomorrow and you’re left in a worse state than you were last year? What if the alcohol just jogged last year’s memory that was stored deep in his cortex that only tequila was able to unlock?

The more you tried to make an excuse for it, the more ridiculous it sounded...

When you didn’t say anything right away, Felix was sure if he had his ribs broken that it would hurt less than the pain he felt in his chest right now. But that wasn’t your fault - nothing was ever your fault. This was all his doing because that’s what Felix did best - screw everything up.

The blond’s once hurt expression turned to stone before he dropped the scrapbook onto the cushioned chair next to his belongings.

“My mistake then,” he muttered before leaving you alone in the room.

“Felix, wait -” but it was too late, he was already out of the room to do something stupid to forget what just happened.

You ran after him, but the party room was so loud and dark and filled to the brim with guests that you couldn’t find him. In a room full of people, you were always able to find Felix no matter what, but it’s like he changed the makeup of the atmosphere to make sure that wouldn’t happen again for the rest of the night. You tried looking for blond locks from high ground, you tried snaking your way on the dance floor, you even checked the private rooms and men’s bathrooms in the whole house and none of them worked. You were afraid that after all the heartbreak, you wouldn’t see him again for a long while.

You bumped into Jisung in an empty hallway, who seemed out of breath like he was running a marathon just now.

“You have to come with me,” he gasped in urgency.

“What happened?”

“It’s Felix. He’s about to race Wooyoung.”

Those five words sounded like a terrible ad-lib in the newspaper, but when you followed Jisung to the front of the pool house, lo and behold half of the guests were gathered around the two boys who looked like they were about to get into a fist fight. In Felix’s hand, you could see that he was holding the keys to his sports car that was already parked out front.

Wooyoung’s the first to see you run to them from the crowd, with Jisung following behind you. “Hey, _____. Can you tell Prince Charming here that I’m not about to race him and go to jail?”

“That’s because you’re a pus -”

Jisung held Wooyoung back before he could get a swing in and you stepped in between. This was the first time you got a good look at his face, which was tear-stained and flushed red, all because of you.

“What are you doing!?” you muttered harshly.

“Trying to understand what you see in this guy. It’s not his looks, or his brains. Can’t be his car either, but I just wanted to prove my prediction just in case.”

His breath smelled like freshly poured alcohol. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Am I ridiculous, though? I think I might be onto something when I said there’s something that you see in him.”

“There’s nothing, so can you please give me your keys so we can talk inside?”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Ouch. “Ok, we won’t talk. Let’s do something else -”

“I don’t want to do something else with you. I want to race and kick his ass.”

“You want to crash and burn that badly?” Wooyoung screamed over Jisung’s shoulders. “Fine, let’s drive!”

The crowd cheering only boosted Felix’s ego more, so he broke free from your wall and walked towards his car.

“Felix, don’t do this!” you cried out desperately, and for a second you could see the hesitation, but it was easily overcome.

“If you don’t want to be here, then go home. I don’t need you.”

The crowd oohed in unison and your left in the middle of the circle humiliated, watching the boy you loved the most get into his car and prepare to race your coworker. There’s a myriad of scenarios that fly through your mind of what could go wrong and you’re not sure if you should stay for the mess of the aftermath. But Felix said it himself that he didn’t need you, so maybe you should follow his advice and go home.

If something were to happen to him and you weren’t there to pick up the pieces and mend them back together, you would never forgive yourself. Your life’s purpose had always been to help Felix mend his pieces together whenever he needed it. But maybe this was his way of telling you that you were no longer needed for that - that you were free of all your duties as his personal fake secretary and since he thought you didn’t love him back that you served no purpose to him anymore.

When Felix said he didn’t need you, he meant that he didn’t need you to be the person you always were. He didn’t need you to be his babysitter trying to stop him from doing something stupid, he needed you as someone who wanted to stop him because you loved him and was afraid that he’d get hurt. And perhaps it was his mistake for saying it so harshly because you didn’t bother to stop him after that. But it hurt him to his core that you believed him when he said he didn’t need you anymore, that after twenty years you so easily believed that he could cut you out of his life, just like that. How many stupid mistakes could Felix make tonight? He was too far into this that he couldn’t back out, so all he had to do was race and make it out alive to see you again.

From the rear view mirror, he saw your distant figure fade away with the night.

It has been a long sixty-eight hours and twenty-four minutes since you arrived home from the birthday party. Hermit crabbing for the first twelves hours was stressful - you couldn’t sleep until 6:00 am, you only slept for a couple hours, you sent mass text messages to multiple people, including Felix, curious about his whereabouts and no one got back to you until twelve hours after that.

han solo [8:43 pm]: sorry darling, i like just woke up. he’s fine i guess.

you [8:44 pm]: what do you mean you ‘guess’!?

han solo [8:44 pm]: i mean they both came out unscathed and his dumbass won so physically he’s fine! but he didn’t seem too happy that he won. i think he’s back home with his parents atm.

That settled your racing heart only a little, but at least you knew he was fine physically, at least. Still, your hundreds of texts sent to him were all left on read, meaning he saw all your desperation and worry and didn’t bother to ease any of it.

You couldn’t eat for those long hours, but now it was getting unbearable and you needed to eat something. You had all the ingredients for Felix’s favorite soup, and as much as you didn’t want to constantly remind yourself of him, you couldn’t help yourself. The process was nice and slow, where you took extra care into washing the vegetables and bringing the broth to a gentle boil before dropping everything in. You could imagine the look on his face if he smelled what you made with your own hands.

Cooking for Felix was a very rare occasion because you were still self conscious about your abilities, especially as someone who was going to work for the country’s largest restaurant franchise. But the times he’s tasted your creations, his reaction was nothing but sincere bliss, cleaning his plate or bowl or several every time. He was the only one who truly believed in your talents and far-off dream when your parents wanted you to follow your Dad’s footsteps. You always cared about what Felix thought about you and your actions and nearly everything, but what he thought about your cooking was one of the most important things and his constant support for your craft was what made you fall for him so much harder than you already did.

The aromas of the soup made you miss him even more. If you didn’t hear back from him today, you were going to take drastic measures and find him yourself.

A quiet, eerie knock came at your door. You hesitated, wondering if you should just pretend you weren’t home, but then a voice spoke up.

“I know you’re home,” Felix said. “I can smell you cooking my favorite soup.”

You dropped your wooden spoon and hurried to open the front door. Behind the door revealed a tired Felix with one bruised up eye and cut up lip. Though the tears quickly fell from your eyes and you covered your gaping mouth, he still gave you a weak smile in hopes of easing any worry you now had.

“I kind of need you,” he admitted softly. “I really need you.”

Speechless, you took Felix by the hand and sat him on your couch before grabbing your massive first aid kit. He’s not surprised that you took him in with open arms without any hesitation because that was the kind of person you were. He loved that about you, but there’s guilt in his heart because he’s the last person who deserves this treatment. He knew you didn’t exactly forgive him yet because you still haven’t said a word, even as you were wetting a cotton swab with isopropyl alcohol.

“Is it going to sting?” he asked. You didn’t bother answering and let him feel the pain for himself. “Motherfucker!”

Through all the cleaning and wincing, though your facial expression didn’t move much, a waterfall of tears fell from your eyes at a constant speed. Since you were kids, Felix’s Dad was big on spanking and physical discipline, but this was a whole different level than you’ve ever seen before - this wasn’t discipline, this was intentional. Even so, Felix still smiled, even through all the stinging.

“Stay still,” you whispered, voice shaking. Your free hand held his face in place by pressing your palm into his nonbruised cheek. The wound still stung, but the wincing at least lessened. When the cotton swab dried up and you weren’t sure what to do, Felix calmed your racing thoughts by placing a hand on top of the one you had on your cheek.

He liked the way your thumb gently brushed across his cheek. Your touch always left tingles in its absence.

“What happened?” you finally asked.

“Dad found out about the racing because it was in the tabloids as ‘Future YONBOK CEO Caught Racing Under the Influence. Is the Future of YONGBOK in Good Hands?’ and, well, you know how that turned out.”

You said nothing while shaking your head. You took your hand back and stood up to get something and the fear of you leaving him again left Felix sweating and tears of his own pooling in his eyes. But you came back with a bag of frozen peas to press against his bruises and swollen lip.

“Are you hungry?” Felix nodded silently. “I made your favorite soup.”

“I know. Did you know that I was coming?”

“No. I guess I’m lucky.”

One of his hands is on top of yours holding the frozen peas and the other grabs hold of your other free hand. Felix wanted to hold you in every way possible, but for now this would have to do until you accepted him.

“You know I love you,” he told you. “And you know I will always need you. I’m sorry I pretended to forget about telling you last year and I’m sorry if that made you think I was insincere the second time. But now you know for sure that I love you. Was I really that wrong to think you felt the same?”

“It seems like you already know my answer.”

“I need to hear you say it.”

You sighed heavily. By now the tears had stopped, but you wouldn’t be surprised if they started up again. This was the first time you would admit aloud that you loved the stupid boy who tried to hide his smile sitting in front of you.

“I love you, Lee Felix. I always have.”

“Knew it ~” he sang. “Tell me when you fell for my handsome looks.”

“Remember Prom night?”

“Prom night!? Seriously?”

“My date standing me up and you offering to dance with me the whole night sounds like the perfect formula to fall in love with you, does it not?”

“I guess! I just thought it’d be longer than that!”

“I’m sure it has been longer than that.”

“Really?”

“Prom night was just the point of no return - that no matter what I did, my feelings were absolute and I couldn’t be in denial anymore. But I didn’t feel any different… And that’s when I assumed I just always loved you.”

“Even when I do stupid shit like this, you still loved me that much, huh?”

“Even with a busted lip, I still think you’re the most handsome.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” he chuckled. “Do you know when I knew?”

“Uh, last year?”

“Nope. On your tenth birthday.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m not. When you shared your birthday cake and gave me the corner slice with the most icing flowers on it, I knew you were the one for me.”

“Can you be serious for once!?”

“Baby, I am dead serious! Look me in the eyes - well, my good eye.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.” Felix pressed a long kiss to your forehead and then rested his own up against it. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“And being an ass.”

“Yes, and being the biggest ass.”

You dared to kiss his lips, but just enough for them to touch, too worried about hurting his bruise. Felix didn’t care - this was the only time you’d have your first kiss and he wanted it to be long and slow, putting his all into your very first kiss even if it hurt a little. His lips were hungry for yours and so were his hands, making you drop the frozen peas on the floor so he could pull you into his lap to deepen the kiss. Wandering hands traveled your waist and your own in his hair and all your worries about wondering if love was truly real melted away with every second. Even when you broke free to come up for air, Felix refused to loosen his grip on your waist, holding you so close that he buried his face in the nape of your neck. He short breaths tickled your skin and when you giggled, he peppered kisses all over. Your laugh was music to his ears.

“Do you forgive me?” he said in between kisses.

“Mm,” you hummed. “Just don’t leave my side again.”

“Never again. I promise you.”

“Well… Where do we go from here?”

“Hm… I get to eat my favorite soup with the love of my life?”

“I like the sound of that.”

“And then straight to bed.”

“But it’s only 9:00 pm?” A playful, naughty smirk spread across Felix’s lips. “Lee Felix!”

“What!? I won the race, can’t I get a prize!?”

“Stop.”

Soup was always better with your love and a cup of frozen peas.

#lee felix #felix lee #skz #stray kids #skz felix #stray kids felix #felix scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #i wrote this in less than a week so if it sucks that's why #bleh finally a felix fic......................... it's been like a year LOL #ok lemme know how u like it mwah

888 notes · View notes

problematicfavesareproblematic · 4 years

Text

Never Be Sorry, Not For This

It was just supposed to be two friends dancing. You should’ve known better: Eugene Roe + Dirty Jazz in a dark club on a hot Georgia night would be the death of you.

(i listened to Death Letter by Cassandra Wilson while writing this, in case you wanna feel the spice)

You giggle slightly when Gene’s hand presses hot on the middle of your back, the giggle graduating to an apologetic snicker when he shot you an impatient look.

“Really? Are you twelve?” Roe grumbles, holding your right hand up gently and keeping it close to their sides.

“And a half.” You wink, smirking as he rolls his eyes and shakes his head at you.

He looked stupidly handsome in the low light of the club, a light sheen of sweat on his skin catching the light and making him shine like some sort of angel.

Careful, a voice in your head whispers. Don’t read more into this than there is.

He had only brought you here because Bill fucking Guarnere was incapable on minding his own business and keeping his goddamn mouth shut for longer than two minutes and practically strong-armed Gene into inviting you.

During a night of Sobel-assigned kitchens inventory with Gene and Guarnere, Bill had asked you about your recent birthday- what you’d done, who you’d heard from, if you’d gotten anything.

“Paperwork, my dad and my sister and her family, and Sobel gave me an earful about controlling my facial expressions when he’s trying to establish his authority- Thanks for asking.”

Your answer was apparently incorrect, and Guarnere had turned to Gene and pointed at you with his thumb conspiratorial.

“That’s gotta be the saddest shit I’ve ever heard, eh Doc? Can’t let such an important day go to waste like that, can we, pal?”

Guarnere proceeded to bully Gene into inviting you to the jazz club the medic always flocked to on his weekend passes, the place he chose to escape to in lieu of the bar favored by most residents of Toccoa.

But before you’d had a chance to tell Bill to shut up and stop being weird, Gene had nodded and looked down at the inventory sheet in his hand.

“I mean, we could if you wanted to.”

You had a feeling that he was regretting extending the invitation now.

When the two of you had entered the club you’d suddenly realized that this wasn’t the traditional, big band jazz you’d been expecting.

Oh no, you were pretty sure Gene had accidentally taken you to a sex club of some kind- and you became even more sure the moment your eyes had adjusted to the darkness and you’d been able to make out your surroundings.

The singer on the stage was lit with a red light, voice smokey and seductive as she crooned a slow melody, eyes hazy as her hands trailed up and down the microphone’s stand in a clearly suggestive manner. There were two men with instruments behind her, the one with the drum looking at her silk-clad body like he meant to ravage it.

Maybe jazz means something different in the south?

Couples were writhing to the drums rhythm, bodies draped over each other like some kind of Rodinian menagerie.

Now, you were pretty confident in your capabilities as both a soldier and a human woman- you wouldn’t have gotten this far if you hadn’t been able to trust yourself and what you could handle.

And you knew for a fact that you were incapable of pulling this off.

Now, Gene was a patient man, but you could see in the set of his jaw he was starting to get frustrated.

I don’t blame him, I’m acting like I’ve never been alone with a boy before.

Clearing your throat, you bite the inside of your cheek to try and get your shit together.

He’s trying to do something nice for you and you’re ruining it….

”I’ll stop, I promise.” you plead, ducking your head to try and catch his gaze. “I’m just nervous, give me a break…”

“You’ve literally run out in front of a moving plane to get a piece of debris off a runway ” he interrupts you like you hadn’t been talking. “You stole Sobel’s car—”

“At least if those things went wrong I would’ve just been killed.”

Eugene snorts at that, and you hear him mutter something to himself in French.

“And now?” He asks, tilting his head towards the band on the stage and the other dancers around you . “You think this is worse?”

You fix him with a look of shock that you know will make him laugh again. “Death over humiliation, every time! Obviously. What sort of question is that? C’mon Genie—”

“I know you know how to dance. I’ve seen you and Nixon dance at Malarkey’s birthday dinner in last July—”

You cringed internally. You’d forgotten there had been witnesses to that.

“Ok, first off,” you tap one of your fingers against his shoulder for emphasis. “that only happened because I lost a bet with Lewis. And to be clear-I know how to ballroom dance, and that’s different because the whole point is to be rigid and straight and precise. This is….proving to be a challenge.”

You’d always been good at those sorts of things- order and rigidity and accuracy. You were used to knowing what was expected of you and how you measured up to those expectations. But you were going into this completely unprepared. You hated it.

“Just think of this as a basic waltz step, just slower.” Gene supplied, and when you started to fall into the familiar step he immediately made it clear that he was going to be dictating the pace, meeting your quirked brow with one of his own.

“Much slower. Glacial. Frozen molasses sliding down a flat hill—” You chide lightly, trying to disguise the waiver of apprehension in your voice.

“I don’t think that’s a phrase. But yes- that slow.”

You sigh, letting him lead you in an almost unbearably slow box step, letting him take you through five box-steps before huffing and hooking your chin over his shoulder and rest your head there, groaning melodramatically like you were in pain.

“This is impractically slow.” you lament. “It doesn’t look or feel right—”

With a quick move of his arm he presses you closer into his chest, knocking you slightly off balance before moving you so his thigh is wedged between your legs.

You flush at what you assumed was a mistake on his part, and when you go to step back down from his thigh he moves with you and holds you in place.

Eugene Roe, you saucy boy.

“Gotta let me have some of your weight. That’s why it feels like you’re doing it wrong….”

His voice is soft as stone, and you know he can feel your breath catch in your throat. “C’mon, mon cher- I got you.”

You’re suddenly very glad that he's pulled you so close because you don’t have to hide the scarlet blush on your cheeks at the imploring tone in his voice.

It made you want to trust him. It made you want him, period.

Full stop.

It’s dancing. People dance. Friends dance, it doesn’t mean anything unless you want it to.

Unless you let it.

You take a deep breath and let your knees bend slightly, allowing your hips to slot together and your heart thud against his.

Just as he promised, he keeps a hold on you, the arm around your waist like a belt holding the two of you together, and your ribs jump in a quick inhale as his fingers curl around your waist.

If he notices your reaction, he’s kind enough not to mention it.

“Good,” he says under his breath, and you feel him nodding against your hair. “That’s good.”

Good God, had his voice always been so low? Fuck he was good at this….

You hmm in reply, your self-consciousness put on the back burner in order to cope with the absolute burning electric currents seeming to run through your body, just beneath your skin.

You’ve never been so overwhelmed by another person, let alone some boy as you felt at this moment in Eugene Roe’s arms- you couldn’t so much as breathe without him knowing, each inhale bringing with it the sweet, clean smell of the aftershave you couldn’t quite identify and the salt of his skin.

The steps of the waltz have melted into a rhythmic sway of your bodies, shifting weight from the ball of one foot to the other in time with Gene’s lead.

It’s everything you can do not to shake as his thigh flexes between your legs, your sex rubbing agianst it deliciously every so often and making you feel stupid with longing.

“You okay?” he asks quietly, and you realize that you’ve been holding your breath the whole time, a distracted chuckle escaping your lips before your nod softly.

“Yeah, course.” You wrap an arm around his shoulder and sway with him, giving the hand holding yours a quick squeeze of reassurance. “You?”

You feel him nod. “Yeah, me too.”

You hum, letting your eyes drift closed as you try to think about keeping your breathing even and touch light.

Which was proving harder than you’d anticipated— the slow curling beat of the new song beginning and it’s rumbling melody settling over your heads like the foreboding clouds of a storm that neither of you seemed too interested in seeking shelter from.

This whole place could burn down and all I’d see is him

After a few more moments you feel the hand at your back begin to knead at the knots along your spine, strong fingers rolling like revered thunder against your tense muscles.

“Give me some more,” he quietly demands. “You need to lean on me more….you’re still too tense—” and you bend your knees a bit so you can feel the pressure of his thigh where you’re throbbing for him the most.

“Shhhhhhiiiiiit…” he hisses quietly, almost to himself.

“Eugene,” you breathe before you can stop yourself, titling your head so your temples press together. “ We, uh…..We said we wanted to go by eleven...”

Your reminder is purely for show, arousal hot in your chest and stomach.

When he hums in acknowledgement, you can hear the lack of intention behind it. The idea of separating from this man made you feel cold—a prospect you found unbearable despite the heat making your hair stick to the back of your neck.

Staying, we’re going to stay.

Part of this feels inevitable, like the two of you had always been destined to end in this sinfully filthy embrace with nearly every single part of your bodies touching, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to curse the humidity you so loathed.

A whimper escapes your throat when you catch your clothed clit on some bunched fabric from the leg of his pants, and his arms abandon their dancing position to wrap around your torso and smooth his hands up and down your back

“Like this, Doc?” you can’t help but whisper, sighing prettily when his grip digs into the meat of your shoulder blades.

You know you aren’t dancing anymore, haven’t been dancing for a while. You feel your hips jump against his, a low groan rumbling in his chest as one of his hands flashes down to squeeze at your ass.

“Fuck darlin’....”

You turn your head so your lips are at his ear, eyes nearly rolling back in your head at the sinful roll of his hips as he drops a bit lower, a growl in his chest at the breathy way you gasp his name.

“I’m sorry” he’s whispering. “I’m sorry—”

You know what he’s apologizing for.

He thinks he’s confirming Sobel’s horrible accusations— that you’re nothing more than a warm body in the eyes of the men of Easy Company.

Their CO had a special place in his heart for taking the time to remind you that you were a woman and insinuate that you were nothing more than a barrack whore who was a pretty good shot on a rifle.

“Even pious Winters seems to find you distracting, Miss Y/N. Maybe we should send you ahead of the pack to give the Krauts something to enjoy before we show up.”

“Don’t be sorry,” you shake your head and bring one hand up to lightly touch his cheek, voice thick in your throat. “Never be sorry. Not for this— Shit, Gene....”

One of Gene’s hands slid up your neck and into your hair, holding your head as he turned to look at you, pupils blown wide beneath heavily lidded eyes.

You look at his lips, bringing your thumb over to smooth the furrow in his brow.

“Never?” he asks, and with one final look into his eyes you shake your head.

“Never.” you hear yourself say,

You kiss the corner of his mouth first, not wanting to rush him, still worried that (somehow) you were misreading his intentions.

As if he wasn't gyrating his hips with you in a way so dirty that you were surprised you hadn’t been asked to leave. As if you couldn’t feel the ghost of his hard cock against your hip….

Apparently Gene thought you were now the one moving too slowly, because he uses his hand in your hair to turn your mouth to his and kiss the breath from your lungs.

His lips taste like whiskey and a tiny bit like the candied pecans you’d brought him as a thank you for taking you out.

You sighed against his mouth as you slid one of your hands down his chest, fisting his shirt as his tongue parts the seam of your lips and deepens the kiss.

“Embrasse-moi (kiss me),” he mumbles between the kisses he plucked from your lips. “Je pense toujours à toi, Je ne peux pas vivre sans toi….tu as besoin de savoir que (I always think about you, I can’t live without you. You need to know that.).”

You’re french is lackluster at best, but something in the way he’s saying the words that makes you feel as if he’s being unbearably sincere in whatever it is he’s telling you.

“I dont…” you begin, but then something wicked and heavy settles in your lower belly that has you pulling back enough that you can look him in the eye.

HIs lips are pink and swollen, and you nearly forget what you wanted to tell him.

Debauched, absolutely lewd and lustful.

Your hands find his and with a reassuring nodyou put his hands on your hip and thigh, another curse slipping past his lips as his fingers bunched the soft fabric of your skirt in his hands.

“Show me what you said.” You know you’ve said it like a command but you’ve never felt more less in control in your entire life. “Please, Eugene—”

He nods solemnly, and when he replies you get the feeling he’s making you a deeper promise than you are aware of.

“I will. I promise.”

and he does.

(*throws fic at you and runs away* than you for reading bYE (p2?))

#band of brothers x reader #band of brothers imagine #eugene roe x reader #it's vv bad but I'll just add it to the pile of already burning garbage pile that is my bibliography #idk if anyone wants to be tagged but if you so for some reason let a sister know

198 notes · View notes

kill-the-feels · 3 years

Note

Me again! I just love your writing and idk if I can request two if not it’s ok just ignore this, but can you write one for either Kix or Rex where there’s a lot I mean A LOT of tension between them x reader. They lowkey like each other but won’t even think about doing anything about it bc of regulations/rules. All other clones know and they always tease them. Maybe they do something to get them to confess both their feelings to one another? Maybe some angst and fluff and slow burn? Thank you sooo much

First, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this!! I adore this prompt and it was so fun to write!! (Also, I hope you won’t mind, but I picked Kix! ;) )

warnings: description of injuries, blood mention, angst, some language, a little, tiny bit of steam

word count: ~1.5k

~~~

You suppose it starts out as little touches. Lingering glances and glancing brushes that feel like heavy blows in their aftermath.

It’s the way you swear Kix has a speck of dirt on his shoulder, right below the lurid red medic symbol. The way your hand lingers there for just half a beat too long, cupping the plastoid armor.

Or the way he moves around you, with his hand coming up to rest on your hip just long enough to move past, in a way that would annoy you to hell if it were anyone but him.

Perhaps it’s the way you high five him one day, after he regales you with the story of finally getting the infamous Captain Rex to get some rest. You intend the gesture to be be funny, but then you make contact with his hand and then the two of you just sort of… pause there, fingers splayed out against each other.

Totally normal way of high fiving someone.

It might even be in the way he sits just slightly too close, so that his hand accidentally grazes your thigh when he moves it from his lap to the table.

Once is an accident, twice is suspicious, but five times?

That can’t be a coincidence.

It graduates from there, as all things do. Little touches become longer, excused as necessary even though you both know everyone sees through your shit.

Maybe it’s when Fives walks in on you two sleeping, your head on Kix’s shoulder and his head resting on yours.

He teases Kix so hard, you want to cringe into the floor, even as Kix explains you both just “fell asleep.” Fives rolls his eyes as he leaves.

“Yeah, and I’m blind,” he mutters giving you in particular a knowing look.

Or maybe it’s when you fall and hit your head, not hard enough to cause permanent damage, but hard enough that Kix insists you let him check it out.

You sit in the medbay and watch him move around. If there’s just a bit more urgency in his step, neither of you comment on it. He clicks on a little light.

“Follow this with only your eyes,” he says. Maybe you hit your head a little harder than you thought, because you move your head after the light two different times.

Frustrated, he takes hold of your chin, keeping your head in place with one hand and moving the light with the other.

“Your eyes,” he says slowly, enunciating each word in a way that leaves you focusing on his lips.

“Eyes,” you hear yourself echo faintly.

He leans in while he studies your pupils, titling your face up just slightly. Makes sense, you reason, seeing as you’re sitting down and he’s standing over you.

“Gross, Kix, not in the medbay!” It’s his brother Jesse, making fake gagging noises. Kix jumps and lets go of you like he’s been burned.

“We’re not together.” He says it easily enough, but you don’t miss the glance back over his shoulder.

The longing that’s getting harder and harder to deny.

Were it not for rules, you two would be together in a heartbeat, the tiny part of your heart, the one you spend day after day arguing with, says.

The two of you are more subtle after that. Never alone together, always keeping busy so you don’t have to think about what you can’t have.

And it’s fine, really.

Except when you brush imaginary dirt off his shoulder, or when he brushes past you, or when you high five him, or when he sits just slightly too close, you feel like you’re being burned alive.

As it happens, you two finally reach a breaking point when you, well, quite literally, butt heads.

He’s on his back in the medbay, trying to fix one of the droids. You’re sitting on one of the exam tables above him, talking about senseless things to pass the time, when Kix goes rigid.

“Shit,” he mutters.

“You okay down there?” He’s silent and you slide off the table, squinting into the shadows cast by the droid.

“‘M fine,” he says, voice sharp. It’s a sure sign he’s in pain. You peer closer, noting the way he’s clutching his hand to his chest. Blood is oozing out slowly, over his fingers.

“Kix!” you say with an undignified yelp of fear. You try and tug him out, and he shrugs you off.

“It’s fine.” Stubborn man.

“Liar,” you say, kneeling over him at the same time he goes to get up.

It’s like watching a disaster happen in slow motion. Your brain knows what’s happening and tries to tell you to move, and you do. But it’s towards Kix’s rising big skull instead of away.

He stand up into you, and you feel more than hear the crunch in your nose.

The taste and smell of blood is instantaneous. You fall to the floor beside him with a groan, hands coming up to cup your poor nose. Kix is on you in a flash, trying to do damage control, but his hand is still bleeding, and it’s making even more of a big mess.

So there you two are, on the floor, moaning in pain, covered in blood. Not your finest moment.

Someone clears their throat, and you two pause in your fumbling attempts to stem the bleeding.

“Kix, I don’t care what you do in your own time. But this is not the place to explore your weirder tastes.” It’s the Captain himself, perhaps the worst person to catch you two like this.

“No, that’s not-”

“He’s not-”

The two of you are talking over each other, and Captain Rex just laughs, leaving you two to suffer in a bloody heap on the floor. Kix extricates himself first, finding bandages with his good hand.

He wraps them around his injured hand, then ties it off with his teeth, a move that almost distracts you from the blinding pain in your face.

Almost.

“Shit, Kix, I think you broke my nose,” you say with another moan. He’s back beside you in an instant, gently prying your hands off.

“Let me look, and I’ll tell you,” he says, after you slam your hand back onto your nose, only to cry out in pain. Not very smart of you.

Kix takes your hands again, placing them to the side and wiping away some of the blood. Your nose is tender to the touch. Carefully, he probes the sides of your nose and you wince.

“Sorry,” he says. There’s a lingering softness in his tone, the same kind of softness you’ve noted in his touches.

“It’s okay,” you say quietly. He looks down at you, and you don’t even think about the way he’s still holding your nose.

Instead, you’re caught on his eyes.

He has kind eyes, you decide, the kind that invite you in and make you feel important. Safe. Cared for.

“I, uh, I don’t think it’s broken,” he says. “Just bruised.” Even as he speaks, his hands drift away from your nose, and his eyes move down to your lips.

“Kix,” you say, intending it to come out as a warning. Instead, it’s breathy and needy, and you find yourself arching up to meet him even as he leans down.

Your first kiss is not euphoric, like you would hope. Instead, it’s an experimental peck against your lips and then an accidental knock against your nose, which has you cringing backwards.

But. You have come to expect something like this from you two. So when Kix pulls back in horror at the thought of hurting you further, you’re prepared.

You wind your arms around his neck, tugging him back to you. He comes willingly, caressing your face as he slants his lips across yours.

This time, you would put your kiss safely in the “euphoric” category. It’s like you can finally breath after all this time spent holding your breath. You play with the hair at the nape of his neck while you kiss him, and he hums softly, cradling you to his chest. You sigh into him. No more stealing glances and barely-there touches.

“No, we can’t,” Kix says, voice hoarse as he pulls away abruptly, shattering your dream. You want to cry. Everyone already thinks you’re together, so why can’t it be the truth?

“I know,” you say instead, for him, even as the two of you lean in for another kiss. Kix cups your face this time, thumb stroking your skin as you kiss, and you realize it’s because you actually are crying.

“Cyar’ika,” he murmurs against your lips. You wrap your arms around his chest, tugging him down on top of you.

“I know,” you say again. “Just for a little bit.”

And for just a little bit, he lets you dream. You don’t care that the two of you are a mess, or that anyone could walk in. For now, you have more than lingering touches and glances. You have a promise that down the line, after all is said and done, he’ll pick you.

You have Kix, and that’s enough.

#clone trooper kix x you #clone trooper kix x reader #tw blood #reader insert #clone trooper kix #ask #kat speaks #snippytano #this has been ruminating and i’m sorry it’s taken me so long!!#and also thank you for reading my stuff!!#i’m glad you enjoy my writing!!<3

53 notes · View notes

chironshorseass · 2 years

Text

ANNUAL WRITING SELF-EVALUATION

thanks melissa @estrangedlestrange for tagging me! ok *cracks knuckles* i guess we’re doing this

1. number of stories posted to ao3:

23……someone fucking restrain me pls

2. word count posted for the year:

165,511

i’m crying what is this😭😭😭😭😭😭

3. fandoms i wrote for:

pjo

4. pairings:

percy/annabeth

clarisse/silena

annabeth/reyna

poseidon/sally. (these are the main ones, i think)

5. story with the most…

kudos: Just Add Water

bookmarks: Just Add Water

comments: also Just Add Water el oh el

6. work i’m most proud of (and why):

it’s a tie between it feels so scary, getting old and the vine hanging over the door (both of them with titles taken by a lorde song💀) because i feel like i was so at peace with myself when i wrote them, and when i’m at peace with myself i just write like fjakdjasjsjsjsisnsk that bc i can’t stop and pure gold comes out <3 it’s a mix of nostalgia and pride of what i created. also they both have very specific aesthetics and Existential Themes that scream mari bc ofc they r my babies xxx

7. work i’m least proud of and why:

through the ruse i just feel like it’s a bit of a mess and i didn’t plan it properly nor did i make it interesting enough for me to keep going🤨 i really like the concept, though esp since during that time i kind of really wanted a bridgerton au. but like, i honestly don’t think i’m NOT proud of anything i’ve written (idk maybe) but that doesn’t mean i won’t cringe once in a while when i reread something i wrote lmaooo

8. share or describe a favorite review received:

there are plenty i’ve kept close to my heart but taylor miss @posallys gives the best reviews, and i’m still recovering from the one i got in the vine hanging over the door 😭😭😭 and this other one she wrote for the seaweed is always greener that had me dying eye-

also bonjobiggles idk if u have a tumblr but all ur comments are so sweet and gave me motivation to write more<3 like EXCUSE ME someone rereading my fic is just😭 also ash @skaterannabeth had me screaming crying after she left a comment on it feels so scary, getting old lov u <33 and how can i forget @jeanjacket-lesbian every time u comment my heart kinda goes like💗💗 one that had me sobbing tho was from an anon (for it feels so scary, getting old) bc wth how DARE u say such things and think it will be ok😭

9. time when writing was really, really hard:

i’d say most of the time but y’all will think i’m such a clown bc i literally have THIRTY works on ao3 and that is very much illegal but I SWEAR!!!! it’s so fuckin hard to write, like i feel like i can never finish things and my motivation comes and goes, and so does life so🤠🥲🥲

11. a favorite excerpt from your writing:

Their laughter carries on like music as the wind dances around its melody, drifting it up, up into the starry sky. (from it feels so scary, getting old haha typical😗)

tho i feel like anything from magnificently cursed bc i say so: But it was more than just the horror that connected them. In the vibrancy of Olympus, it felt like they were creating the beautiful moments, too. They’d become a luster that outshined the rust in their thread of life.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year:

dude i’ve improved so much it’s crazy. in 2020 when quarantine started and i also started writing fic it was like. my first time in a looong time of writing something in english and i had to search up so many words and shit but now…..it all comes like the tears of jesus istg lmaooo. i also feel like this year i really honed in my writing style, because in 2020 it was all over the place i’m sure, and now i can truly say that i have a specific way of writing (correct me if i’m wrong bc maybe it’s just me since m i’m a clown)

13. how do you hope to grow next year:

i’m copying annie bc i need to finish all my wips so i never write fic again i am BEGGING

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

clown car (my frens) bc coincidentally they are all amazing writers and i love them very much. syd @annabethsinvibilitycap tho u make me especially evil and give me the silly little motivation to go unhinged in my writing 😛 as for other motivations, i think reading other works, fanfic or books and hmmm when folklore and evermore came out it was over for me so 💃🏽 also when i started listening to mitski

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

when sally kinda contemplates life as she watches the trash fly around during august (the vine hanging over the door.) yeah that was hashtag me too😔✌️ but yeah if u mean existential dread and all that good stuff it’s taken from my real life <3 and mostly the beginning of purple pink skies was 100% taken from my life haha….

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

read lots of books lol i swear every time i do writing is so much easier bc im reminded of how words are supposed to um. work. and never write something you find slightly boring. just create the weirdest plot line or whatever, as long as it’s interesting to YOU and it’s fun to write for YOU and no one else.

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) this year:

finishing any of my (existent) chapter fics bc i need them to stop haunting me in my sleep😭

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. (totally not required to do this y’all I always hate when things say you gotta do it):

@posallys @annabethsinvibilitycap @skaterannabeth and anyone who hasn’t done this feel free<33

#writing #❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥#i’m lowkey a bit insane for writing so much when i SWEAR i NEVER write it jaír sometimes happens

6 notes · View notes

imagine-loki · 4 years

Text

Blushing in His Colours, Chapter 4

TITLE: Blushing in His Colours CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 4 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki being a Daddy Dom, his adores and loves his little, worships the ground she walks on. She has vaginismus, but he couldn’t be more supportive with her. RATING: M

It had been a few days since Loki’s discovery.

And he had a plan.

He’d tried a few different tactics over the last few days. The one that got him best results was when he asked Mia to hand him something in the lab, she did it instantly without question. He then let Good girl slip instead of a thank you. It had the desired effect, he thought her entire face was going to go up in flames. She was very giddy and flustered.

So she definitely has a praise kink. That he was certain of. She was a pleaser.

But his plan, he was putting into motion tonight. He’d asked her to another date night, but to wear her comfiest pyjamas. She was highly confused, but was pretty excited none the less.

He went to her room and knocked, smiling when he heard her rushing over to the door.

When she opened it, Loki was pleased to see she was in pyjamas already. They were Minnie Mouse pyjamas. She sheepishly looked down at herself. ‘Sorry… I don’t really have, uhm, sexy kind of Pyjamas.’

Loki smiled and picked up her hand, bringing it up to his lips he kissed the back of it. ‘You look beautiful, darling. Never apologise for wearing whatever you want to.’

There was that delightful blush that graced her cheeks, that he loved so much on her.

‘Are you ready?’ He asked with a grin.

She nodded. ‘I’m really intrigued to see what you’ve got planned.’

Loki was wearing comfortable clothing too. Leather trousers with a green Asgardian tunic type of top. But Mia always thought he looked amazing, he could probably wear a bin bag and still look handsome.

First stop was the kitchen, Loki had a mini buffet type of set up going on. But it was bowls of popcorn, nachos and chocolate. He grabbed a tray and put it all on, then motioned for Mia to follow him as he headed to the lifts.

Mia raised an eyebrow as she followed him. ‘Where are we going?’ She asked, getting into the lift with him.

He didn’t say anything, just grinned. They stopped a few floors down, Loki then led the way to the library. It all made sense when they entered.

Loki had borrowed Tony’s projector and had set up a film to play on the empty wall near the back of the library. He’d also taken lots of cushions and blankets for them to sit or lie down on and keep cosy. Some candles were lit, giving the room a lovely calming and romantic vibe.

‘Oh wow. Loki, this is amazing.’ Mia said excitedly.

‘I’m glad you think so. It took a lot of persuading to make sure the others would stay out of the way for the night.’ Loki said with a frown.

‘What kind of persuading?’ Mia asked, curious.

‘I had to say please to Stark.’ Loki cringed, making Mia burst out laughing.

‘Well, it certainly seems worth it.’ Mia grinned.

Loki and Mia got comfortable on the cushions, Loki used his Seidr to make them all into a bed type of shape with a bit at the back for them to lean against comfortably. He pulled a big blanket over the both them, he was absolutely delighted when she snuggled right in against his side.

‘What film are we watching?’ She asked when Loki used his Seidr to have the tray of food hover just on front of them, but not blocking the view, to save having to get a table over.

Loki didn’t reply, just grinned as he grabbed the remote and started the movie up. Mia was shocked when Frozen Two started.

‘Really? I didn’t think you would be a Disney fan? We can watch something you like.’ Mia suggested as she turned to face him more.

‘Not at all. I remember over hearing you speaking to Wanda about wanting to see it when it’s out.’ Loki smiled.

Mia then frowned. ‘It’s not even out in cinemas here yet. How did you… Wait, did you get Bruce to get it for you?’ She asked knowingly.

Loki’s grin grew even larger and he wiggled his eyebrows. ‘Perhaps… I have my ways. Now shhh, it’s starting.’ Loki put his arm around her and pulled her into him again.

She was secretly so delighted that he’d managed to get the film. She had been desperate to see it. And what could be better, snuggled up comfortably with Loki? Nothing could be better, that was for sure.

Mia was totally engrossed in the film, she almost missed her mouth a few times while eating. Eyes glued to the screen.

Loki couldn’t resist stroking her hair, letting his fingers slide through her locks. It was soothing for both of them. Perhaps too soothing for Mia, she could feel herself slipping into little space. Something she didn’t really want to do on front of Loki, not wanting to freak him out.

But it was difficult, he was pressing all the right buttons.

It became even worse for Mia when he ended up gently pulling her onto his lap. She blushed hard, but kept her eyes on the movie, leaning back against him as she curled up comfortably.

Loki slid his hand under her pyjama top and started stroking her back softly, she squirmed and giggled when he went too far round to her sides, making him smirk. ‘Ticklish?’ He grinned, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

She didn’t reply, just whined a little and shuffled slightly on his lap.

His touch against her back felt so heavenly, she was slipping hard. Loki noticed her take the tips of a bit of her hair into her mouth and he smiled. He hadn’t seen her do that before, but he had a feeling it was something she did in little space…

Once the film was finished, Loki didn’t let go of her. He never wanted to let go of her, actually. He kept stroking her back and nuzzling into her hair.

But Mia suddenly snapped out of it, realising how she was acting. She struggled to get off his lap, Loki reluctantly let her go.

‘I’m sorry… I…’

‘Whatever for?’ Loki frowned as she moved away from him and sat up on her knees, looking scared.

But she didn’t answer, just looked really scared still. So Loki decided to take a chance.

‘You’re a little, aren’t you?’

Her eyes widened at that, but he noticed her shoulders relax a tiny bit. ‘You… what? How did you…’

‘I will be completely honest here… I came across a Daddy Dom and little relationship online, after having… suspicions. And I felt that you just seemed to fit being a little. So I may have been trying to coax it out of you.’ He said a little sheepishly.

‘Wha… What? Why though? I mean… Are you…’

‘A Daddy?’ Loki finished for her.

She nodded, still keeping a little distance.

Loki smiled. ‘I had never thought about it before, but when I read up on it, I found myself really wanting to be your Daddy.’ He admitted. ‘I seem to fit some of the personality traits and it was very appealing, I must say. Even though I had never thought about it before.’

Mia put her face into her hands and rubbed her face a few times before looking at him again.

‘Are you serious? I mean… I didn’t expect… This.’

Loki reached out and took hold of her hands, so she couldn’t hide her face again.

‘All I am asking, is that you think about it. You are safe with me, Mia. If you want to go into little space with me, you can. And I would love to be able to look after and spoil you.’ He smiled and rubbed the back of her hands.

He was slightly confused as to why she still looked so worried.

‘Have I got this all wrong?’ He asked, frowning. It was his turn to be looking genuinely worried.

‘No… not at all… I… I want this more than anything. From the moment I met you I found you to be… Daddy material.’ She said quietly.

Loki let go of her hands and stroked her cheek gently.

‘So what’s got you so scared, pet?’ He asked quietly.

She looked down and started fiddling with the bottom of her pyjama top. ‘I uhm… There’s something else you should know before you decide if you do want to… Be with me. It wouldn’t be fair not telling you…’

‘What is it?’ He asked, tipping her chin up.

She took a deep breath before answering. ‘I’ve got vaginismus.’

Mia felt like time was stood still as she waited for Loki’s reaction. Expecting him to get up and walk out.

But to her surprise, there was no change in his facial expressions.

‘Why would that make me not want to be with you?’ Loki asked, confused as he took her hands again.

Now it was Mia’s turn to look confused. ‘Do… Do you know what it is?’

‘I do.’ Loki nodded. ‘It doesn’t change who you are, darling.’

Mia couldn’t help but let out a small sob, surprising Loki. ‘Hey, shhh. It’s ok, come here.’ He pulled her back onto his lap, so she was straddling him with her legs at either side of his thighs, into his embrace. He rocked her back and fore as she buried her face into his neck.

‘I’m sorry… I just… The last guy I dated couldn’t get away fast enough, thinking it was some kind of disease he could catch. And the guy before him who I had been seeing for a while, got fed up that he couldn’t… penetrate me. No matter how much we tried, it was like there was a literal road block down there.’ She said openly, leaning back slightly as Loki cradled the back of her head.

‘Well in that case they don’t deserve you. There is so much more to relationships than penetrative sex. SO much more.’ He wiped her tears off her cheeks with his thumbs and then cupped her face as he leaned in to press his forehead against hers.

‘Not that we would be jumping into anything sexually so soon, but if I may ask, have you been to the doctors about it?’

‘Yeah. It seems to be more psychological than anything else we’ve decided… I uhm, can get one finger in but it took a long time… and I have a small dildo that I try with but it takes a long time to use and I’ve only ever managed twice, often by the time I get to the stage where I might be able to take it, I’m too tired and just give up. It’s like I just can’t relax down there enough, even though I know it doesn’t hurt as such if I am properly ready. But I think I freaked myself out a bit last time I got it in, when I started moving it, it was a little sore and uncomfortable then I struggled getting the damn thing out and really panicked.’ She was blushing hard while explaining to Loki, but she wanted him to know exactly what he was getting into. Or more… what he wouldn’t be getting into, so to say.

‘Well that’s good you’ve made progress yourself, though. You can do it, it can happen, it just takes time… Mia, even if we could never have penetrative sex, that doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I don’t know in this early stage if anything will blossom between us, although I certainly hope it does, but I really want to try, darling.’

Mia felt like crying again in utter relief and happiness. But Loki could tell there was still something niggling.

‘Speak to me, sweetling.’ He whispered, smoothing a hand through her hair.

‘I just… I’ve never had a Daddy before. I’ve always dreamed and fantasised of having one and having kinky fun with him. Being able to just be taken against a wall or bent over the sofa and taken that way. But that can’t happen for me, I don’t even know if normal sex will ever be able to happen for me!’

‘Shhh, calm down. It’s ok.’ Loki soothed. ‘Well, there are ways to help your body accustom to penetration. And even once that happens, while you may never be able to have sudden-little-warning-sex, not many can without some foreplay, there are still ways to make fantasies come true.’ He purred, winking at her.

‘Really?’

‘Of course there is. But you know, there are millions of ways to have kinky fun, for the both of us, without the normal cock into vagina scenario, you know.’ He smirked, making her giggle.

‘Just don’t over think it, don’t worry about something that doesn’t necessarily even need to happen.’

‘But I do want it to happen!’ Mia said quickly.

Loki smiled and trailed his fingers down the side of her face. ‘I know you do. But it will take time, trust and a lot of patience. It won’t be something that can just happen overnight. But if you want that to be your end goal, we can work towards it. Slowly. But just have some fun, is the main thing.’

‘I have done sexual stuff before. And I do enjoy it all, so it’s not like I just don’t want to do anything like that. Because I do. So much.’ She was blushing again.

Loki chuckled and kissed her forehead. ‘Just because you have vaginismus doesn’t mean you can’t love other things to do with sex. Stop worrying.’

She leaned into him again and hid her face against his neck. He slid his hand up and down her back soothingly. ‘I get the feeling rule number one will be not to overthink this.’ He rumbled.

Mia shot back a bit, looking at him with wide eyes. ‘Rules?’ She squeaked.

‘Of course. Why, you didn’t think just because I am new to this you would get out of not having rules, did you?’ He smirked.

Mia’s mouth parted but nothing came out, making Loki chuckle.

‘You did!’ He smirked, sliding his hands under her top and tickling over her back.

She squealed and tried to move away from the tickling but that just made her move closer into Loki’s body, thus trapping her as his fingers tickled down her sides, making her laugh as she squirmed to try and get away.

He stopped and just held her against him, his chin on top of her head. ‘There will be consequences if you break a rule, sweetheart. But we can go over rules another day, once you’ve had time to think it all through.’ He kissed the top of her head as he felt her relaxing into him completely.

Loki had a feeling she wasn’t going to need time to think anything through.

Or he certainly hoped not anyway.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #submission #blushing in his colours #chapter 4 #fanfichiddles

59 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1167

surveys by emptyliketheocean

Brand of cigarettes you smoke? I don’t smoke cigarettes, or at least I never buy my own packs.

Should you be trusted with a person's life? Idk, that’s for them to decide.

How's your life in general? I lost two relatives from Covid this week alone. So, not very dandy. Still in shock. Waiting for it to all finally crash down so I can grieve and mourn properly. Scared of more losses and hoping there aren’t any more to come.

Have you ever put lipstick on anything besides lips? I don’t wear makeup, but when my friends have put some on me in the past there were a couple of times they dabbed lipsticks on my cheeks.

Have you ever picked a fight you knew you would lose? Metaphorically speaking, yeah. I don’t get into physical fights.

What's something you think is crazy about the world? The concept of centibillionaires and the fact that there are multiple ones who exist.

What do you think about religion? I think the only upside to it is how it has helped save lives for some and how it serves as a guide for others to spread good in the world. Like if your religion has given you purpose and strength, that’s great. But ultimately, I’m not a fan and I most definitely don’t think religion is necessary to be a kind person. In fact, I think it works the opposite...most of the homophobes, misogynists, pro-lifers, and sexists I know are from the Christian faith. Cringe.

What about when religion causes violence? Well I definitely have a bone to pick with this lol. The only reason the Philippines is predominantly Catholic today is precisely that when the Spanish arrived, they used violence to forcingly convert Filipinos - who were then living in peace with their own culture, government, and religion system - to Christianity. And now we’re ‘celebrating’ 500 years of Christianity in the country this year, which was always so off to me because why are we celebrating colonization lol????????????? But anyway, yeah, that is another issue I have with religion. I want nothing to do with it.

What color is one of your hats? I have an off-white summer hat but I have literally never used it in public because it’s huge and it’s 100% going to draw attention.

How do you feel? My shoulders are sore and I’m feeling slightly irritated because of them. I’m also starting to get a bit hungry.

Have you ever gotten in trouble for laughing? A few times.

Something that makes you smile: Free food.

What do you think about surveys with lyrics as the title? Surveys with random lyrics usually end up being the ones with interesting questions, so I actually am more likely to check it out.

Do you have any clothes with small holes in them? Maybe one or two.

Do you think the way you live is really okay? I think I am already quite fortunate with what I have considering what others don’t, so it’s definitely been a while since I have complained about anything during this whole Covid situation, living-situation-wise. Even though we’ve lost a few things, like having to sell one of our cars and with my mom being retrenched, we still get by and have a roof over our heads with working water and electricity and a stocked pantry; and I make enough money to hand a portion of it to my parents twice a month and still treat myself with things I want. There is nothing to bitch about.

Do you know anyone other than a cop who has ever owned a cop car? No.

Have you ever felt fire? No, but electricity, yes. I’ve been shocked before but that was also my own fault lol.

Have you ever seen a person light themselves on fire? Jesus no.

Have you ever used crutches when you didn't need them? Yes. I used to horse around with Katreen’s crutches when she injured her legs in 3rd grade, when she wasn’t using them.

If you had 15 beers you would be: Dead.

Are you as bored as I am? No, I’m good.

Why are you taking this survey? I feel like it.

What would you say if a person asked you why your face was so messed up? “How do you want me to react?” Easiest way to shut a person up and passive aggressively tell them to watch what they say.

What would you do if your first love asked you back out? Be very confused and ask why the sudden decision.

What's your home life like? It’s very routine, due to having to stay at home. I work a 9–6 on weekdays, follow that up with dinner, and use a few hours to scroll through social media until it’s time to sleep. Then on weekends I use the free time to recharge by taking surveys and watch videos of whoever and whatever I’m interested in at the moment. Just waiting for all of this to blow over so I can finally do the things I’m meant to be doing.

Do you have a talent that you don't do anything with? I don’t write a lot for myself these days. I do write frequently for work, which is great - press releases, event scripts, all your PR essentials - but I don’t get stimulated enough since everything is written in the same tone. I really should pick up a notebook and pen soon...

Do you know anyone that is a lesbian? Yes. Not that she’s in my life anymore.

What do you think about your mom? I think she tries her best. But I wish she were more emotionally in touch. And that she starts being politically correct.

What do you think about your dad? He’s worked hard and continues to, and I appreciate all his efforts; and I can’t wait to be able to buy him all the things he wants.

Which parent do you respect the most? Who do you think? Hahahaha.

Is there anything someone could lie to you about that you couldn't forgive? I suppose, like cheating.

Who do you love unconditionally? My two best friends.

Pick an element. Oooookay? Zirconium.

Have you ever wasted a great amount of time and felt horrible about it? It always feels that way on weekends these days because there’s only so much that can be done while stuck at home because of Covid. But I do try to justify it by telling myself I already work too hard during weekdays so it’s ok to bum around at home and do nothing, because using the time to recharge is still productive.

What is something that's been said about you that isn't true? My mom has said a lot of hurtful things directed towards me that I internalized for a very long time, but I’ve since gained the strength to no longer let those words get to me.

Who do you want with you when you're scared? Anyone who can be calm while I’m not.

Know any bands that not many people have heard of? Many of the punk bands I listen to are virtually unknown on this side of the planet.

Do you have any advice for people in general? Don’t be racist.

What's something you like to do in the summer? Complain about the heat.

What's something you like to do in the winter? We don’t get winter here, but I’ve always thought I would love snow if I ever saw it, and that I would probably make a lot of snow angels and play snowball fights.

What do you think about marijuana? I don’t have a strong opinion on it as it’s still a very taboo topic where I’m from and I’ve also been lacking on research. I do know people who use it for recreational purposes and I’ve never been against that.

Do you wish anyone death? Just politicians.

Have you ever felt like you weren't getting anywhere with a person? Yes, it felt that way for a long time. I just was too afraid of confrontation to do anything about it.

What do you feel for the person you first fell in love with? Resentment and a whole lot of nothing.

Where are you? I’m in my bedroom.

Are you waiting for something? Hmm, not necessarily.

Who is someone you just think has a hole in their brain? People who still think Covid is a hoax.

A candy you like? Gummy anything.

Does any part of your body hurt at the moment? My shoulders and neck, hence the neck pillow I’ve since put on while taking this.

Explain how you got the last bruise you had. I honestly have no clue. I currently have a big black circle on my right thigh that just suddenly showed up, and I can’t recall a time I must’ve hit it somewhere.

Are you tired? A little bit because I got up as soon as I woke up, but I wanted to maximize my free time this Sunday before another work week starts. Last Friday would be our last non-working holiday in a while and we’re not getting another one until August. :(

Explain how you got a scar you have. A distant cousin hurled a glass jar towards me when I was 3, during a family reunion. He initially went for my eye because I guess he wanted to blind me, but he missed and ended up hitting my eyebrow instead. My mom has since banned him from talking to me ever since, and I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him since the incident.

Have you ever owned anything illegal? Illegal copies of movies I’ve torrented, sure.

What do you dream about? The most random scenarios. I’ll get the occasional nightmare, but those only happen when I’m going through a period of depression.

Do you ever daydream? Not anymore these days.

How do you feel about vegetarians? I don’t really think anything of them. There are days I’ll particularly feel for them because there aren’t a lot of restaurants with good vegetarian options where I live, though.

A fruit you like: Avocado, in very limited options.

Have you ever seen a person eat a bug? Only bugs that were already prepared a certain way and meant to be eaten; but I’ve never seen a person that just picked up a bug off the ground and went straight to chewing. I imagine I would freak out and gag.

Something you worry about too much: How much is in my bank account.

How do you feel about smoking? I hate how the smell clings to your clothes and all your things when you’ve been smoking or when you’ve been around people who smoke. I also wince when people pose with their cigarettes just to look badass and cool; but as someone who’s since picked up vaping as a habit, my once-intense hatred for smoking and smokers has since changed lol.

If you had to move out of state, where would you go? I would move to a big city. Somewhere noisier and with a lot of lights and foot traffic and general activity.

What is your favorite vampire-related movie? The Twilight Saga hahahahahaha

Is there a person you keep coming back to? My best friends, I guess?

If you're listening to music...Give me a lyric from the song you're listening to. I’m not listening to anything.

#survey #surveys

8 notes · View notes

campcampfanfan · 3 years

Text

Ranking every CC episode (except the specials)

You read the title! Every episode except the specials will be ranked here and now, by your truly. TW for swearing. Also, spoilers, obviously. Remeber these are all my opinions, and enjoy!

Episodes I don’t like too much/ Don’t watch:

54:The Candy Kingpin

I know, I know, probably an unpopular take. I don’t really like Dolph, and think the series could have done without his whole… thing. I like him as a character, sorta, but I also don’t really like him. I honestly forgot this episode even existed until I looked it up, and the only thing I remember was Gwen and David’s conversation. The whole story was… eh? Whatever, it was still fine-ish in the long run.

53: Reigny Day

Enough said. Everyone’s lowkey kind of a jerk in this episode, except for Neil and Max for like two seconds.Also, Dolph jokes. Don’t like it.

52:Cameron Campbell the Campbell Camper

This one was pretty meh. I, once again, didn’t remember it existed until I looked it up. It wasn’t Cam’s best episode (I’ll get to that later), and it was kinda bland. Bland doesn’t mean bad though, but it just wasn’t the best. Only thing I remember was the wholesome Dadvid moment and Max saying a funny line. Enough said about that.

51: Anti Social Network

Now, I wasn’t too sure where to put this, because this was in theory a good episode. I just don’t like it. I’m not sure why, but Max being a tiny perv is very funny to me, because that is exactly what a ten year old is like. I just didn’t really find it interesting or catching my attention, but it wasn’t a bad episode.

50: The Order of the Sparrow

I get why you like this, I totally get it. It’s funny and lots of Dadvid, plus Gwen singing for the first time. Honestly, Gwen singing and David’s mental breakdown is what got this higher than Anti Social Network, but it’s still racist. I get it, it’s comedy, but it’s still really… interesting. I know the CC people are trying their best, and it’s a delicate balance, but I still skip over the first few minutes.

49: Jeremy Fartz

We love a hilarious mess up, Max cursing, and David making fun of someone, but it’s also a really awkward episode? Like, it makes for a really good backstory for Jeremy and joining the Woodscouts, but it’s such an odd episode. Not bad, just odd. Whatever, I still like it. Sorta….

48: Fashion Victims

Oh boy, Russian Waifu comes back. I love Ainsley, she’s my precious baby and Max’s purified Doppelganger, and I love her so much. But Sasha’s not my favorite character in the show, and she got especially mean in this episode. I love the whole Vera thing, but really dislike this one. I watch it once in a while, but not too often. Also, we love positivity from Tabii and Erin.

47:Time Crapsules

We love Gwen blushing, improvement from Max, and making fun of baseball. But this episode really hit me with second hand embarrassment for both Gwen and Max. You know when you can’t sit through an episode without getting second hand embarrassment? Yup, that’s this one. I wanted the guy coming through the door to be David and I’m salty, ok? This is my list, and we stan Gwenvid on this account.

46:Campfire Tales

Dolph’s story was boring, Space Kid was great, We love ghost parents. We l o v e Slenderman! AU David in this household, and I want to see more of them. Oh yeah, outfits were great. Max is a baby in this episode, and I love his fear because it makes you see that he really is a little boy with feelings. I also laugh at everyone’s faces after Space Kid’s story.

Ok Episodes/ Ones I do like:

45:Preston Goodplay’s Goodplay

Oooooo, this is a tough one. I love Preston as a character, because I too am a theatre kid who dislikes most people and wants to be famous for her storytelling. I can relate. I love how David talks to him, and how Preston comes to his realization that he doesn’t need to please everyone. Also, canon French Speaking! David is canon. Amazing. He’s still Candian! Anyway, Clown College was odd, but whatever, I can roll with it.

44: The Quarter Moon Convergence

We totally saw Zemug and no one said anything. No one! Why was no one talking about this! We saw the elder god! Anyways, I love Harrison and Quartermaster working together. It’s funny, it’s clever, and I want to see more of it. I do not like the subplot with the other characters, and it really took me out of the main story. Other than that, pretty interesting idea, and I love my pure magic boy!

43:Who Peed in the Lake

Ew. That’s all I need to say about it. It’s extremely funny, I like the motives, and I love detective Max. However, Nikki and the final answer are disgusting in this episode. It gross, it’s gross, it’s gross, but it’s so funny. I know I have the humor of an eight year old, I don’t care.

42:New Adventure

I love how this episode was played out. Funny, clever, and overall pretty ok. Plus, guess who shows up? Dirty Kevin, my friends! Best trash boy :)

Overall pretty good! Not too many complaints, but not too many great things either.

41:The Fun Raiser

Hmmm… This was an… interesting episode. David and Gwen scheming is my new religion, and they are both idiots. Who the hell thought this plan was a good idea? David? I mean, he’s a little bit dipsy, but has SOME common sense. Gwen? Maybe, but you know, she’s logical. You know what? I’m being too picky. I love my dumbasses, they are the best. Also, Gwen sitting on David is everything I love in my life and everything I need. Harrison makes a very good point, Nikki probably found Jasper’s skull, and Max is my scheming child. Whatever, eh episode, love the plot, but I have cringed at it.

40: Foreign Exchange Students

Like I’ve said before, this episode is out of place. It’s not bad, it’s just… blandish. I know, I know, Russian Waifu was in it, but this episode was only ok. I love Vera and Brian, and the ending is super funny, but other than that, eh episode.

39:Attack of the Nurfs

I honest to gods forgot this episode existed. I ended up rewatching it, and had a few good laughs. Gwen in this episode, for the little time she appears, is so funny. David’s sparkle eyes always make me laugh, and Max ends up making me laugh most of all. Nurf takes “talking to yourself” to a whole new level, and I relate my man. Get that therapy!

38:Camp Cool Kidz

This episode is eh....? I love my tiny rebellious children, but I really hate Ered in this episode. It just feels… so unlike her. I get it, it’s the start of her ark, but really and truly I disliked her character in this episode. On the other hand, Nikki is me trying to flirt with other women. She’s my little baby Pansexual, and I love her to death. Honestly, I really enjoy Nikki episodes, so yeah. Also, the literal moment I began to love Gwen with the “Stab her bitch!” line.

37:Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak

Honestly, I almost never watch this episode, but I still really like it. Nerris’s lines, the battle between two magic folk, the one liners, the ending, oh it was really good. However, some of the parts were boring, it’s not the best, but it’s still pretty good. Whatever, I like Nerrison and magic, so boom.

36:Escape from Camp Campbell

Honestly, what a classic. First episode, Gwen being overall great, “No Running”, Max being a tiny Satan, Nikki and Neil being amazing. But, once again, it’s the first episode, which means some things aren’t the best. But! I do enjoy this one, and watch it sometimes.

35:Mind Freakers

Eh… It’s pretty ok. We love Harrison and Neil being jerks to each other, and we love Max having an identity crisis, but all I could really think through this was “Poor Max” and “This is a really stupid and petty fight”. It really is petty, which isn’t bad, but I feel like ti was an odd episode. Not bad, I thoroughly enjoy it, I just couldn’t swallow normal for a few days….

One I really like/ Second highest ranking:

34:Romeo and Juliet 2: Love Resurrected

Bon Bon~! Yay! We love David for having a Tinder, for Max’s amazing performance, and the drama! That being said, it’s overall a pretty good episode! Not the best, but pretty good!

33:Mascot

Welp, I feel like you all know what I’m getting at. The jokes are well landed, Muack appears for the first time ( and steals the show, and that’s the tea), and my girl Nikki is so precious. Quartermaster is weird as hell, and speaking of which…

32: Quartermaster Appreciation Day

I know, it’s gross, it’s weird, I hate the relationship almost as much as I can, but this episode is so freaking funny. So many of the jokes are well timed, some classic lines come from this episode, and Quartermaster being his weird self is a major playing factor.

31: Space Camp was a hoax

More Gwen and David being two idiots sharing one brain cell? Hell yes, lay it on me. Space Kid is so funny, and his inner dialouge is fantastic. Also, Nikki cursing is incredible, even if it isn’t really on screen. Gwen’s line “Is this what success feels like?” is a major mood, and I just generally think it’s a good episode.

30: Ered gets her cool back

We love Nerris and Ered’s relationship in this household, ok? Older sporty sister spends time with dorky younger sister who has more common sense? Bigger sister gets better at being with other people and learns a lot form the experience? Nikki”s outfit? All major amazing things I love in this episode. But, the plot was a little eh, and I got second hand embarrassment.

29:Jasper dies at the end

All I have to say is H O O E Y

28:Cameron Campbell can’t handle the truth serum

Dolph’s autstic? Oh, ok, that’s pretty cool! We love representation. Anyways, this was an odd episode. Not good, not bad, just… odd. The therapy and plant jokes made my dad have to come in and check on me because I was laughing so loud, and most of the other jokes hit well. But it was… eh plot wise. It was pretty good joke wise though!

27:Journey to Spooky Island

Jasper, Quartermaster’s ahem… thing, and Max screaming were the best things in this episode. This episode is pretty great if I do say so myself, but this is ranked lower because I did not need to imagine Quartermaster like that. Excuse while I go burn out my eyeballs.

26: Camporee

Fuck Pikeman. All my homies hate Pikeman. No seriously, he is my least favorite character on the show. His sexism and gross advances really get to me, and the way he treats Gwen is disgusting. Now I have that out of the way, I actually enjoyed this episode, except for Pikeman. Hot take, I know. I’ve seen the Pikeman X Reader stuff on Wattpad. Whatever, back to the topic. Episode was good overall, especially the lesson. Each person’s talents were fantastic, and the ending itself was great.

25:Camp Corp

We stan business Gwen and her telling Nancy to shut up.I love the plot, forcing three people who usually don’t work together to solve a common problem. I love that, and it does make for an interesting story. However, there are some flaws to the episode, but it’s overall pretty fantastic!

24:Follow the Leader

Are you kidding me? This was a great idea. Funny, creative, inventive, and overall pretty good. Playing with how each character leads was a great idea, and very inventive to give them all a common goal. Why it’s so low is personal pettiness. Pikeman, and Jasper was probably on the island when it blew up.

23:Squirrel Camp

Why is this so high up? *Looks at notes* Oh yeah, it’s so stupid I actually like it. No, but for real though, I know people don’t like this one as much as I do, but I think it’s pretty funny. Sure, dumb idea and kind of mediocore, but to me it’s so fun and entertaining. I’m sorry if you don’t agree, but you can make your own list if you’d like. It’s such a weird plot it’s entertaining. You get me?

22:Panicked Room

I just really like this episode, no rhyme or reason. It’s really funny and romantic, and the interactions were so good. David and Gwen through this episode were amazing for the mere seconds they were on screen, but it was overall pretty good!

21: City Survival

I couldn’t remember much of what happened in this so I ended up rewatching it. We love Dirty Kevin, David’s reaction to the city, and David being a homeless twink. Gwen also has the fancy outfit in this episode, and I am all for that.

20: Cookin Cookies

Three girls accidentally start a meth lab and go all breaking bad? Hell yes.It’s funny, the completion of everyone getting father figures, and it’s an overall good idea. It’s creative, good, it’s amazing. I really wanted to know what the main three were doing though, I’m actually kinda curious. Anyways, good story, and very enjoyable.

19:Keep the change

I found this episode very entertaining! Dadvid, Campbell getting better, funny moments, and a good plot! It’s really a great episode, and establishes what the season will be about. In fact, I believe I have themes for all the seasons:

Season 1:Beginnings

Season 2: Family

Season 3:Friends

Season 4: Change

18:Parent’s Day

Ok, Ok, know, Dadvid, but really I feel like this episode is a tiny bit overhyped. I love the Dadvid, Candy and Carl (Except I really don’t ship Neil/Nikki anymore), and how Max’s … situation is handled. Yes, I am on the side of thinking Max’s parents are abusive or at least ignorant. They just don’t care, and that’s where Max’s attitude comes from. It was well handled, and I very much like this episode.

17:Dial M for Jasper

I love Jasper with all of my heart, and watching his backstory was both heartbreaking and amazing. It wasn’t what I was expecting, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Watching it made me hate Campbell more than I did, and I expect the episode where David finds out about Jasper would be heartbreaking. David most likely screams and curses at Campbell, and takes off. I’m hoping Gwen runs after him, but that’s wishful thinking.\

16:David gets hard

The ending is amazing, I love learning about Nurf’s trauma, and watching Gwen,Max, and David scheming is incredible. It was interesting to see Nurf's side of the story, and it was pretty good. Enough said.

15:Cult Camp

Yes, it is high. The song is amazing, the plot is amazing, and Daniel’s stupidity is amazing. He is a very good villain, and it works with the comedy of the show. If everyone wants, I will write an essay on Daniel and what he means to the show. Anyways, good episode, funny and inventive.

14:Bounjour Bonqueesha

Oh, what to say about this episode! I love Bon Bon, but her breaking up with David an hour before their date? Not so cool. Whatever. Watching Gwen comfort David made my day, my week, my month. It was amazing. The “I’m a girl” line was extremely funny, because me too Nikki. Me too. Anyways, loved it!

13:The Lake Lilac Summer Social

Oh, what an episode! Gwenvid, Makki (I sorta ship it? Eh?), love triangles, Gwen going ship crazy (me too, man, me too), and David being level headed for once. Uh, so glad this episode exists. Only bad part, Pikeman and Jeremy. That’s literally it.

12:Operation: Charlie Tango Foxtrot

The ending was gross, but whatever. No judgement. Funny episode, and I love how the experimented with the points of view. Petrol’s side was a nice gag and it was overall a good episode! No complaints other than the weird ending.

11:After hours

Honestly, this is a tie with the next one. It is a great look at what happens after all the kids go to bed, what Gwen and David have to deal with, and what goes on outside the camp. The Gwenvid is strong with this episode! It’s really funny and creative. Also, ChibiKawaiiCat97 is absolutely a real username out there, I’m sure it is. Gwen deserves all the good things.

My Favs!

10:Scout’s Dishonor

Neeancy, my child! Yeah! Also, Neil cursing out of nowhere? Amazing. It’s so high up because it actually was the first episode I saw a clip off! It’s what got me into Camp Camp overall, but it’s not listed up there because I do like others better.

9:The Forest

I know, not number one. It’s an amazing episode, with a great plot and a good lesson, but I physically cannot watch it without sniffling. Yes, I know, I’m pathetic for crying at this, but I really see the pain. You can feel the fear in his voice, and it always makes me so sad. Whatever, I still love this episode.

8:Into Town

I mean, I have no rhyme or reason, I just love this one. I can’t even think of a flaw for this one! It’s kind of an amazing thing! A lovely episode with good visuals and amazing dialogue!

7:The Butter Fingered Effect

An amazing episode about change. I love Neil cracking, Ered becoming a nerd, Nikki becoming a scientist, and the counselor outfit swap. I appreciate Gwen wearing David’s clothes, because that’s amazing. I like the theme of change that fits with Season 4. Good episode with almost no flaws!

6:Eggs Benefits

I love Max and Nikki interacting, trying to take care of the egg and Nikki basically having a panic attack. I just love Nikki episodes in general, ok? Don’t judge. Whatever. Preston and Nurf, were um, problematic, to say the least. Whatever, the ending was funny, and this episode is dear to my heart.

5.Camp Loser says what?

Wow… Gwen in a wood scout uniform is actually really pretty! Entire episode was pretty much a fanfiction come to life, and we love the team for that. Uh, I yearn for more fanfic like episodes. God, if you have followed me for long enough, you’d know I would love for the fans ideas to become canon.Anyway, good plot, glad Daniel came back in this way and Pan and/or Bi David is canon

4:Nikki’s Last Day on Earth

I wasn’t expecting that! Honestly, I didn’t see the twist and thought it was a good idea! Funny, creative, and shows off Max’s jerkiness. We love Max development and amazing plots. We also love a Mother and Daughter relationship between Gwen and Nikki. More of that please1

3:Gwen gets a job

This is so damn creative, I love this episode so much. Gwenvid fuel, Max being a terrible person, Gwen breaking down and David comforting her. I bet Gwen never heard a speech that encouraging in her life…

2:Party Pooper

I know you thought this was going to be number one! Haha, tricked you! But really, this is an amazing episode. The way Gwen bonds with her father, the beautiful scene at the end, the background, everything. I love a good “Gwen is underappreciated” episode, and that’s why this gets second. Almost no flaws! Which leads to number one….

1:Something Fishy!

What an amazing episode! I have never seen “Shape of Water”, but this one is just incredible. Gwen is an underappreciated overworked mess, and she finds what seems likes the perfect option. But turns out it isn’t what it seems, and it’s amazing. Also, this episode has so much Gwenvid fuel, it’s amazing. The art is amazing, Gwen’s dress is amazing, it’s all perfect. No flaws here for me!

#cc #camp camp #camp campbell #episodes ranked

12 notes · View notes

gguktarts · 4 years

Text

decathect | jjk (2)

1. to withdraw one’s feelings of attachment from (a person, idea, or object), as in anticipation of a future loss

summary: if one thing was clear to you when you first met Jeon Jungkook, it was that he would never love you. at least, not the way you wanted him to.

pairing: jjk x reader genre: unrequited love au || angst || little fluff if u Squint || drabble series word count: 2.2k parts: « previous | 2 / ? | next » cw: kinda unhealthy depictions of a crush, & jk is a fuckboy w lots of tatts and long hair. note: well,, i don’t like this one bUT here yall go!!! breaky breaky eggs and heart bakey ey :’)

Being late to class was the first of the signs, you should have known. It didn’t impact your grade in any way, but the reason behind it certainly stirred about some changes.

While Jungkook still remains a part of some of your days, lately it’s a less common occurrence. You figure maybe it’s his doing, that your face must have given you away that day, that he must have figured something out and that whatever he knows doesn’t sit well with him, but deep down you know it’s your fault.

It’s not that he’s avoiding you, but that you’re avoiding him–as well as the images that still haunt your memory. So, whenever you see him in the halls you turn and walk away just a tiny bit faster, and when you guys speak, you only voice out what’s necessary. It’s gotten to the point where you worry over him thinking you’re mad at him, when in fact you are not. You’re not upset that he kissed someone, how could you be? Jungkook is more of a stranger than he is a friend to you, and he owes you nothing. And it doesn’t matter that the constant reminder makes your heart drop all the way to your feet, nor that despite everything your stomach still battles the fluttering butterflies his smile cultivates and nurses. It’s actually that last part that annoys you out of all, the one that triggered your flight response.

Even now, sharing your favorite takeout at Tae’s, it’s clear you’re more closed off with him than usual – even when the subject is as ridiculous as VHS porn. Actual, physical VHS porn, all property of Taehyung. He apparently went on a shopping spree early in the morning, which explains the two thick tapes inches from his plate. They’re keeping the lot of you some extra company.

“I just can’t believe you bought more, honestly. And with real money,” you mutter in disbelief, amusement painting your tone. The fact that Tae not only owns (and buys) them but also keeps them in pristine condition is not something you understand. He doesn’t even have a VHS player. "You know the internet exists, right, babe? And with better quality.”

A look at the colorful cases makes you visibly cringe. There’s far too many freed titties and schoolgirl skirts for your liking. “They’re probably as bad as the old ones aren’t they…”

Tae’s eyes widen with a hint of betrayal; his chopsticks pointing at you in accusation. “They’re HISTORIC, ok? Like beanie babies... And they only cost 3 dollars each—”

"How would you know if hyung’s tapes are bad or not?” Jungkook’s voice interrupts, doing nothing but throwing you under the bus with the teasing question.

You blink, for a hot second forgetting you haven’t told Taehyung about that specific day a few months back. He was gone all day doing who knows what, while Namjoon and yourself, under the tight reign of curiosity and the profound liberty of a free evening, went over the most ridiculous titles he owns. It’s the sudden look of suspicion he gives you what brings back the fact to surface. Right. You’re the one with the VHS player. He knows that.

From your peripheral Jungkook’s inquisitive gaze pierces your skin, distracting you from the way Namjoon’s posture straightens with the reminder. He hasn’t said a single word to stop you, though, so you take that as a sign.

“Joon and I watched them,” you confess quickly, slurping on some stir-fry noodles with a small, apologetic smile playing on your lips. “And I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, but Tae, they’re terrible. Except maybe… Eaten by the Big Bad Wolf, I guess.”

The name makes Jungkook break out in giggles, a sound so cute you have to press your lips together just to not grin along with him. Whining, Taehyung swats the younger’s arm before whipping his head to look between Joon and you, more pouty than angry.

“First of,” he begins, “Eaten by 2BW IS good. You guys are just uncultured about the rest. But more importantly, you two? Both?”

None of you deny it. Joon simply grins apologetically and shrugs, far too busy gulping down his meat to do more than that— he knows Tae won’t do anything to him, he’s too valuable a roommate. Instead, you hear Jungkook voice out a tiny surprised “huh” before any words leave him.

“I didn’t take you for the type to watch porn, Y/N.”

You still mid bite, eyebrow raised as you’re forced to glance his way. “Because I’m a girl?”

“No, it’s just… you don’t strike me as a sexual one, I guess?”

“Oh.”

He doesn’t say it to hurt you, you know that. It’s not like his phrasing should hurt you either, but somehow, it still does. It’s easy for you to skip past all you should be thankful for—that he doesn’t sexualize you, that he doesn’t consider you an option for the fuck-and-go experiences he tends to have, and that maybe, just maybe, therefore you’re not seen as disposable. All of those, while in ways reassuring, are drowned out by a single underlying fact: in a world where Jungkook knows not love but lust, where his touch is reserved for only the bright who catch his eye, you’re but a white dwarf to his starry gaze, all but faded and extinguished. Nearly a dead star, you’re empty of whatever he searches for, of whatever he wants, and so what little he gives you are never meant to get.

The thought rings around your eardrums enough seconds for your smile to drop and your teeth to clench, but you’re quick to put on a mask of vague confusion and annoyance. Even your tone comes out dry.

“Jee, thanks? I’m flattered I can contain my hormones in check.”

“It’s because you’re never here when she’s ovulating–she gets hornly as hell,” Tae counters just when the youngest opens his mouth, eyes on him before they settle on you. His gaze goes soft, as if asking if you’re okay in between the jabs, speaking the words he isn’t. But you’re too busy almost choking, heat spreading from your ears and along your cheeks, to notice it. The thought that he spoke to shut Jungkook up not crossing your mind. “I don’t really understand why you never do anything about it, love. Could literally be getting love-fucked right about now.”

“Taehyung, what the fuck?” you squeak, embarrassment threatening to consume you, but thankful nonetheless it’s a type of distraction. You don’t see Jungkook blink in confusion, nor his repeated whisper of Tae’s new word. You focus on the way Namjoon pinches Tae’s arm. It earns him a glare and a yelp.

“Leave her alone, man,” Joon chides, making you smile again without entirely understanding the look they briefly share.

“What? She knows I love her,” Tae says, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He’s always quick to butter you up with it. “You do know that, don’t you?”

“Yes. But if we could just shift the topic to something besides my non-existent love life I’d love that even more."

"What?” Joon opens his mouth after a blink, suddenly intrigued because as far as he’s concerned, you were practically dating last you spoke to him about that. Only, you weren’t–aren’t, and even if he is on your side in this conversation, he’s too big of an information hoarder (read: gossip) to let it go from the get go. “But I thought the date with Jaebum went okay?”

You give him a look. “Date? We were studying for our midterms, like I told you.”

“Oh, I thought– but he looks so interested in you…”

Taehyung nods along, “Yea, whenever he sees me he asks about you.”

“Wait, are we talking about Jackson-hyung’s friend?” Jungkook asks, tone mildly curious. You drown the words out, but his voice still makes your throat close up for a few seconds longer.

“Yup,” Namjoon confirms, “You know him?"

"Never actually talked to him, but Yugyeom hangs with him from time to time. Seems nice enough,” Jungkook shrugs, turning to you with a soft, encouraging smile. “I don’t know if he likes you but if you’re interested I could ask–”

“I’m not,” you snap, jaw clenching. Your fingers stiffly hold onto the chopsticks, a flimsy attempt at ignoring the way your bones hold your heart before it slips and falls. And it does fall, because you can already feel the sickening feeling pooling and spreading from your stomach and along your limbs. You notice it so quickly that you remind yourself, like a mantra, that this is ridiculous, that you shouldn’t even be feeling this way. Yes, he doesn’t like you. You knew that already, Y/N. Going from point A to point B, it’s logical he doesn’t care if you date anyone, that he encourages it as long as you’re into it. But you don’t want his kindness.

Hurt flashes over Jungkook’s gaze as you stare him down, but it’s gone so quickly you’re unsure if it was there in the first place. Still, the thought you might have caused it doesn’t sit well with you. It quickly forms a lump in your throat, making you swallow before softening your features.

“I’m– I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like an ass,” your voice comes out a whisper, and you turn back to your plate. Jungkook’s own “it’s okay,” is too soft your ears. You know you have to behave normally, quickly. So you press your lips together and offer them a dramatic sigh to at least begin to sound believable.

“I’d just rather none of you did anything. I already know he likes me, he’s asked me out before,” you confess, voice somehow unwavering. It gives the push you need to put on a mask of indifference as you look head on, not at Jungkook but at Joon. He looks surprised, but remains quiet. “And no, I didn’t accept. He is nice, but I–I don’t like anyone like that at the moment.”

It takes effort to finish the lie, to hide the sting in front of them–in front of him– but you have more than one tell. And Taehyung knows each and every one very well. The soft rebuke, the intensified interest in your noodles as the lie flowed through your lips. Tae knows you, sometimes better than you know yourself, and he knows he has to do what he does best: he shifts the tone.

“That’s okay. You’re too good for him anyways. But none of that matters because I just remembered something I find absurdly unforgivable,” Taehyung says, face going completely serious. His eyes are fixed on you with such intensity you wonder if he’s about to tell you the secrets of the universe, or his mom’s secret strawberry cheesecake recipe, which seems less likely. Instead he lets out the shrillest whine, “you did not tell me you love me back. Now explain to me, how am I supposed to continue on? What will inspire me now, huh?”

And just like that, the tense air begins to clear out.

“Eh, you’ll live,” you joke, physically unable to push back the tiny smile lighting up your face at his antics.

“Not like you’ve painted anything in ages, anyway,” Namjoon adds, teasing.

“Well, if I had any of my own paint,” Tae mutters, giving Jungkook a pointed look, “maybe I’d find some inspiration.”

Jungkook scoffed, “I have two tubes total, not your entirely collection, hyung.”

“Yes, but you have my favorite ones! Amethyst Shards and Indigo Fields are so hard to find, too…”

“I’m almost done with them anyways, just pass by tomorrow and pick them up,” Jungkook snickers, eyes crinkling at the other’s pout.

“Fine, but show me what you’re working on.”

Taking the moment to drift away, you grab the already empty plates and take them to the kitchen. It’s Namjoon’s turn to wash the dishes so you leave them be, and return to both of your boys huddled around Jungkook’s extended hand, phone on display.

You don’t know what you expected to see, but it’s definitely not the portrait of the girl he was kissing the other day. She’s laying on her side, naked on a bed of violets, and you can’t deny she’s beautiful. Your heart sinks further than before as you take in the level of detail he poured into his work, into her. The way her hair falls over her arms and tangles with the leafs underneath, the way a form of innocence is reflected on her eyes. They’re elements you see only because he sees them. Did she change his mind about relationships? Does he like her, just the way you like him? You don’t know– you don’t know anything at all.

You feel like puking your insides out. And you’re aware you’re at the end of the rope for the day, that the thin line is about to break, and that you can’t hold back the water pooling behind your eyes for much longer. So like usual, you try to flee.

At the very least you compliment his work, genuinely amazed by his ability, but that’s the last you can do before the masks starts to crack. You don’t register his grateful smile, nor anything after that, really. You just give Tae an offhand excuse you don’t really process, and without waiting for any sort of response you scurry out of the room, vision blurry.

By the time you’re inside safer walls, tears have already stained your cheeks.

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #bts imagine #jungkook x y/n #bts jungkook #jungkook #bts fic #drabble series: dct

158 notes · View notes

howdoyousayghibli · 4 years

Text

When Marnie Was There: A Triumphant Swan Song for Studio Ghibli

In 2013, following the release of The Wind Rises, Hayao Miyazaki announced his retirement from feature films. It didn’t last long, but it did give us one of only a few Studio Ghibli films with neither directing nor screenwriting credit from Miyazaki or Isao Takahata: When Marnie Was There. The other two films with that distinction are Tales from Earthsea and The Cat Returns — an overambitious disaster and a delightful if superficial romp, respectively.

Thankfully, Marnie is neither a disaster nor superficial: it’s a beautiful, true-to-life, emotionally powerful coming-of-age story. Released in 2014 and directed by Hiromasa Yonebayashi, the story centers on young Anna, a withdrawn and melancholic girl who is sent to spend time with her aunt and uncle in the countryside in hopes of ameliorating her asthma.

There, she meets the enigmatic and titular Marnie, who seems to already know Anna and who lives in a mansion that seems to keep flipping from regal and fully-staffed to dilapidated and abandoned. Marnie’s identity and the source of Anna’s woes are equally engaging mysteries that Marnie wisely takes its time unspooling.

While the visuals may not have the wow-factor of Arrietty, Yonebayashi’s stunning directorial debut, Marnie is still a feast for the eyes. What sticks out the most is the depiction of the Kushiro wetlands where Anna spends most of the movie. It inspired such a longing for that kind of natural landscape, in fact, that I literally got up and took my dog for a walk through some nearby woods about ⅔ of the way through this movie. You will want to move to rural Japan; accept this, and keep watching.

The other immediately striking element of Marnie is Anna herself. The movie opens with an internal monologue in which Anna describes how she’s never felt like she belongs; that sentiment has been shared by countless young-adult protagonists, but usually it feels like an afterthought tacked on in service of a bland “Be Yourself!” message.

Marnie actually makes the effort to depict the causes and consequences of that feeling. Fellow introverts will cringe in solidarity as adults make social commitments on Anna’s behalf — right in front of her! — and nod vigorously as Anna flees incoming extroverted strangers to avoid the mortifying ordeal of being known.

But flee all she likes, Anna can’t escape being adopted by a series of friendly, patient extroverts. There’s certainly some conflict in the story, and the movie isn’t shy about letting us see Anna mess up, but by and large Marnie pulls off the magic trick of having emotional resonance without ever really getting unpleasant. Most of the people Anna meets are wonderful, and it’s a pleasure watching her slowly come out of her shell. Studio Ghibli always knocks the side characters out of the park, and Yonebayashi continues the tradition here.

Now, some people might take issue with the statement that Marnie never gets “unpleasant.” What I mean is that there are no Umbridges or Joffreys running around to make you want to throw things, and the characters aren’t punching bags like in Grave of the Fireflies. Marnie does get sad, but it’s a sweet, kind sadness that just makes you want to go upstairs and pick up your sleeping baby and hold her for a bit. I’m going to stop there because I’m writing this at work and really don’t want people to think I’m tearing up over the mushed peas and zoodles recipe I’m supposed to be editing.

There’ll be more on this in the Spoiler Zone, but you should know that Marnie really benefits from being watched twice. It’s that rare mystery trick where the first watch is enriched by the desire to understand, and the second watch is enriched by already knowing. Even if you aren’t in the habit of re-watching films, you won’t be disappointed by a second viewing here.

I adore this movie. The only real flaw — made in all innocence, I believe — is also spoiler-y to talk about, but suffice to say that it is also less of a problem on the second watch. When Marnie Was There is funny, affecting, and beautiful. The future of How Do You Live seems uncertain; if Marnie does turn out to be the last Ghibli film, it would make a fine end for the storied studio.

Up Next: Funny thing — there’s nothing next! At least, as of February 5, 2020, When Marnie Was There is the last movie published by Studio Ghibli. A few years ago, Miyazaki announced that he was un-retiring to direct a new film, How Do You Live; however, the projected release has been continually pushed back, and in a recent interview, Miyazaki stated that the movie was only about 15% finished after years of work.

Barring new Ghibli movies, I’ll likely review some other highly acclaimed anime features — I’ve heard good things about Millennium Actress and Wolf Children. I considered reviewing Ocean Waves, a technically-Studio-Ghibli movie made for TV in the 90s, but I watched it and … it wasn’t great. I didn’t want to end my Ghibli reviews on a down note, so I decided against it. (The short version is that it’s an enemies-to-lovers story that spends 99% of the movie on the “enemies” part.)

For now, I’ll just say thank you for reading. This has been a fun, educational, and fulfilling project for me, and the fact that any of these posts have been liked or shared has been a pleasant surprise. Watch out for one last Spoiler Zone after the image!

SPOILER ZONE

Ok, so, my biggest issue with When Marnie Was There is that, before you know that Marnie is Anna’s grandma’s ghost, the way their interactions are written and animated gives off biiiiiiiiiiiiiig lesbian vibes. The way they talk, when Marnie shows Anna how to row the boat, the dancing, the repeated pleas to keep their relationship a secret, the femme/butch pairing, the blushing .... let’s just say I have several notes from my first watch along the lines of “wow Anna has big Oblivious Lesbian energy” and “surprised to see something this progressive from Studio Ghibli way back in 2014.”

Naturally, I retroactively felt super gross about all that once it clicked that it was a different relationship entirely. Like I said above, this is ameliorated when watching the second time. It’s easier to see how one could interpret it all differently — Anna��s not interested in Marnie romantically, she just literally has never had a friend before and is very overwhelmed by the whole thing. Likewise, Marnie is simply sad to see how withdrawn her granddaughter is and determined to bring her out of her shell.

But yeah, someone really needed to look at the storyboards for this movie and tell Studio Ghibli to tone down the blushing, because in 2020 (and I can’t imagine it came across too differently back in 2014) it reads as a very clearly telegraphed gay romance, and the ick factor when Marnie’s identity is revealed detracts from what is otherwise an extremely sweet, sad, and beautiful story.

Stray Notes:

well it’s been 5 minutes and I’m tearing up at this mom worrying about Anna so much

That title text is … bad

that exploding pumpkin bag shot 👍👍

“He’s a bear” lol

“A witch? Takes one to know one” SOLID BURN DAWG

“Extreme Introvert Gets Adopted by a Series a Extreme Extroverts”

WOW SAD

Aw it’s the first good Ghibli credits song, just in time for their last movie

wait, Hiromasa Yonebayashi was only 36 when he directed Arrietty??

#ghibli #studio ghibli #when marnie was there

64 notes · View notes

beigejournals · 4 years

Text

Season 5 Lucifer

welcome to my unsolicited thoughts about Season 5 of Lucifer.

as an avid and veteran series binger AND a talker-while-watching-a-movie-or-series-but-does-not-want-to-spoil-anything-for-my-friends type of person, i have finally dedicated a space and found a good way to let all my thoughts out as i watch a movie or series when i am alone when i can’t bother a lot of people because (1) they don’t want to be bothered and (2) i don’t want to spoil things for them.

so here are my thoughts, and of course, SPOILERS AHEAD.

BTW, i LOVED all of Lucifer! but this season was a slow burn for me.

ep1

drug scene at Lux; is Amenadiel mean now?

so is Lucifer himself in his own hell loop when he became the ruler of hell? his own guilt towards his father? idk (to be frank, i don’t remember the past episodes except for the fact that he is now back in hell)

the premise of the first episode is cute!

side note after the title card: i remember how much i loved the soundtrack for Lucifer!

Maze is still hot.

I love how Maze and Chloe’s relationship developed and how they don’t have to use words to communicate.

Amenadiel’s and the Psychologist’s house HAHAHAHA i love it.

is Charlie Jesus? His mom’s faith in front of Ella is like every mom plus every religious person ever haha

YES. ELLA. YOU. DESERVE. A. GOOD. GUY.

self-improvement is now a meme, huh?

Dan is me.

comment on drug scene: Amenadiel is still the same, haha!

Maze and the card, haha!

how was the guy in the mask face (did i just say mask face?) blurred but in the party, Los Angeles was in perfect accuracy. excuse me.

coming out of the dead: “oh sorry, that’s so gross!” LORDT HAHA

love you, Charlie! hope you don’t feel like you have to perform because your mom expects a lot from you and that’s so ironic because she’s a psychologist!

Dan’s speeches about parenting: i get it tho, parents try to love their child, sometimes, they just don’t know how

also, i think it’s the sister but Chloe’s just a softie

lol Maze is jealous that Chloe got to talk to Lucifer and trying to say that they don’t need Lucifer.

OOF MAZE.

i forgot about what happened with Eve.

GUYS THE MURDERER IS LITERALLY GOING TO ESCAPE.

the amount of projection as defense mechanism in this episode is too much it feels like it’s too on the nose.

but i do love the parallel between what’s happening on Earth and in hell.

the amount of layers in this question either it’s Lucifer’s or his or his sister’s (assuming it is his sister who was behind his murder)

ok apparently it’s not his sister.

me in law school:

sana all kaya kang mahalin na babalik from hell. kilig aq.

also, after all these years, Lucifer’s house has been so clean!!! wala man lang alikabok

if she’ll be fine without him then who tf is that?

ok i read the synopsis for the next couple of episodes. i don’t like spoilers. don’t make the same mistake.

ep2

i’m Ella when it comes to my friends’ special people HAHA

also, i love the slight lean to one side to show us that this is not the real Lucifer.

why does he have to be naked???

it’s so funny for me how they have to reestablish him. LUCIFER NEVER LIES HAHAHAHAHA yes we can remember now after you repeated it 3x.

ALSO WHY IS EVERYTHING TO ON THE NOSE. EVERY SECOND IS A METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING. was it always like this?

Oh Michael. Nice. Was he an archer? We love the American accent.

how can Amenadiel not know that was Michael? GANON KA IDENTICAL SIZ?

we love the unnecessary car chase just to reinstate the fact that this is a crime show

that slomo with the wings!!!

also everything is so slow with this show!!! idk why but everything feels just a little bit slower (or maybe i just want lucifer and chloe to be together? idk)

gwapo ni lucifer nung nagmomol sila ni Maze pls

cringe ng elevator scene

ykw. i think it’s because i like the lucifer character that’s why i’m impatient. he hasn’t been appearing the way i want him to.

see. you don’t have to remind me so much about the show because i know he was supposed to say “what is it that you truly desire” not fear. I FEEL LIKE THIS SEASON IS DUMBING THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED THE SHOW FOR SO LONG. okay sige.

either she knows it’s not him or SHE’S REALLY THAT NICE AND POWERFUL OF A HUMAN BEING.

oh i’ve been questioning whether they had sex already and this episode answered my question

CRINGE coffee scene: the spoon???

random question: are angels virgins? so is Michael a virgin?

what kind of a person would just go deep on someone else’s pocket just because they ran out of money?

knew it Maze won’t do Chloe dirty like that!

thanks Chloe. u know better than that. (full disclosure: I THOUGHT SHE WAS ACTING BADLY APPARENTLY A GOOD ACTOR CAN ACT BADLY TO PROVE A POINT?)

literally just liked it and now there’s a new secret that was said too soon.

God baka naman pwede mo ko gawing Chloe Decker char.

AH so interesting. Lucifer = Desire. Michael = Fear. Too on the nose again but that time, i needed the guidance because i am a dumbass.

God ain’t raising his children right!

ep3

yes explain everything to me it’s literally not like we have been binging this show for 2 hours straight

see, the Lucifer character is really endearing. i’m enjoying myself again hahaha. (well, i guess Lucifer when he’s with Chloe?)

can i just say that Tom Ellis was born for that role. he fits is so well that him acting as his own twin doesn’t sit well with me.

i just feel like this show was written by a psychologist who liked watching murder shows.

it’s Lucifer, Chloe!!! siya yon.

ep4

love Lucifer-Chloe tandem!

we love how the actors can sing and the show gives them a chance...

one thought: is everyone going to play a double of who they are?

also is Maze the daughter of Lucifer?

i love how they’re transcending mediums, reminds me of Community with their random episodes.

there you go, Chloe’s doing the double acting too.

Now it’s Linda. (so maybe this is the episode i was asking about earlier).

Now it’s Ella.

omg is this why i loved fleabag, it took forever for the Priest and Fleabag to finally do it? no. i just love the Priest.

Charlotte’s back! and the distance from the table shows how not okay they are. okay.

green screen while driving i love it.

now, Daniel!

we love gender fluidity? i guess. i’m not sure how you call it but i appreciate.

Lilith’s dress for the second song. OMG.

there again to make us dumb. after we just watched the whole thing happen, they retell the whole story again. damn. they think we dumb.

literally this season is making every girl kiss Chloe.

why did she blow the ring? was that her life?

what’s that song in the end?

OH that was the reason why she was retelling everything.

damn celestial beings are the worst parents.

ep5

i wanna be Dr. Linda Martin please.

i appreciate Lucifer wearing the bracelet until now. (but i expected nothing less)

i’ve always loved how people reacted to Amenadiel. he always seemed nerdy but these are times where he truly shine and im so happy.

i forgot. i think i was showering that time that Michael and Lucifer fought and theyre hella dumb. ok lets go toxic masculinity mixed with daddy issues.

i know they’re too on the nose ABOUT EVERYTHING but i do like the debate about free will and predestination

honestly i don’t know what’s Chloe’s issue is with being made by God probably just because i’m lazy and i just want to lay everything in His hands but coming from a very atheistic perspective where she comes from i kinda get it. i guess my only reasoning why i’m okay with God’s reason is with her is because of my fear of the unknown; my current fear with not knowing my true purpose. at least she got hers! what is she complaining about?

oh i get it now, but that’s why there’s free will Chloe (or idk, idk how God works; there’s currently no electricity in my house rn. i don’t get how that works even if we pay for our electricity all the time, how am I suppose to know God’s plans?)

but aren’t well created for something else? looking at a selfish perspective, maybe He created all of us just because He wanted to.

wow. literally when the nun kissed Amenadiel, the lights in our house opened up. if that ain’t God. idk who that is.

wow that’s so interesting.

“There are no shortcuts.” 🥺

he exposed himself i’m interested. what if i were the one to whom that was exposed to... how would i react?

another sample of them explaining to us WHAT WE ALREADY CAN INFER FROM THE SHOW (the conversation actually continues to dumb it down for the audience) but i get it. it’s religion and fiction built together.

oh i just cringed i almost vomited with this

also can i just share these. these are the funniest thing Chloe said on the show.

ep6

OOF what a horrifying way to start the episode (after the beach fiasco)

they’re holding us. that’s so adorable!!!

ugh. im still cringing.

yes jowa for ella yes pls. ELLA YOU SAID YOU WANT A NICE GUY!!! HE’S THERE!!! i’ll take him if you won’t!

Chloe if you don’t want Lucifer, i’ll take him too!

can i say how proud i am of Chloe and Dan’s relationship. it’s very healthy for what they are. add Lucifer and Dan to that too! we love men.

also the women in this show have bad taste in men. (except for who Linda married, i guess)

we love the seasonal girl’s night!

that whole charlie thing being amused by lucifer’s devil face is the best bit

was it Michael calling? and oh noooo ;(

FUCKEN MICHAEL

ngl i could have waited for another season for them to have sex on season 6 episode 6 but sure have it at season 5.

ep7

we love a person who wakes up and is not pretty. princess anna who? (i mean she is wearing full on make up, but we’re okay with that snore)

Deckerstar!! they made a word for it

our mojo??? does it only work on lucifer or does it work when she does it to others as well, we shall find out.

oh no! Lucifer’s isn’t working at all HAHAHAHA

it’s currently 2:19 AM. i am tired and sleepy.

Dan talking to Charlotte 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Fucking Michael

oh he emphasized archangel Michael. with my limited knowledge being raised Catholic, i was going to ask earlier if he was an archer because he had crooked shoulders. AND I JUST CHECKED. ARCHANGEL MEANS HIGH RANKING ANGEL NOT AN ANGEL WHO’S A FUCKING ARCHER. me being raised Cathlolic means nothing. HAHAHH

now i’m realizing if i see an angel, maybe i won’t be in the situation where i’ll see Amenadiel but Michael

NO NO NO AMENADIEL

i love this HAHAHAHAHA

knew it. called it! worked on lucifer ONLY. HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE BE THAT MADE FOR EACH OTHER. LORD BAKA NAMAN.

i’m ella shipping them.

THEYRE SPEAKING TAGALOG HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

what song was that? “When it hurts, just to breathe” same

The Shining reference no thank you pls

NAAAH i really can’t do horror things especially not with things i truly fear and when i don’t have a curtain on. No thanks.

14:54 and i’m watching again open the lights bro, it’s easier to find clues that way also i do get that they’re closing it to ensure that the killer is not there but theyre also moving like the killer is not there anyway so better open up the lights! tho i really know nothing about crime solving (i just typed crime solving instead of solving crimes didn’t i)

we stan ella’s healthy relationship!!!

can i just say there was a time where i can’t even say serial killer out loud so this is really hard for me to watch alone

i know that he’s vulnerable around the detective. BUT SHE SAID HE CHOSE TO BE SO BY NOW HE SHOULDN’T BE AFFECTED BY WHAT HE DID.

Fucken Michael.

ep8

how attractive can you be that even in slow motion, you look great.

oh apparently he did not die.

ALSO OO NGA CHLOE. US2 MO SIYA MAMATAY TEH.

CHLOE THE OVERTHINKER but i get it. BUT STILL.

you know that montage of people just studying and it’s now happening to chloe trying to solve a crime. that’s my cinematography goal HAHAHA. it’s been awhile since i’ve been invested in studying like that.

Lucifer can be just so immature some times

is KillShare based off of SkillShare?

also i’m thinking that Chloe was either taken by Michael or Dan or the SK.

that ring of Lucifer on Maze is probably the longest ring someone has waited for.

i love Maze’s eye make up! ALL THE TIME!

if the lady here is not detective and they’re relieved. that’s just fucked up, man. they were slightly relieved. that’s good acting HAHAHAHAHA.

I’M JUST PRAYING TO GOD THAT PETE REALLY IS A GOOD GUY AND NOT THE SERIAL KILLER COZ I CAN’T HATE THAT GUY PLEASE. the key and the research!!! WTF. stop trying to be smart, show!!!

his mojo is back, does that mean Chloe is gone? 😢

OH AFTER THE TAPES, I THINK IT IS THE BOYFRIEND. DAMN SHE’S REALLY INTO BAD MEN, ISN’T SHE?

I’M SO SCARED. THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.

THE FLOWERS ARE FRIGGIN KILLING ME.

kamukha niya pa si Penn Badgley, nice.

DOES HE GENUINELY LIKE HER OR IS THE KISS TO THROW HER OFF GUARD.

AH NO. i think he genuinely likes her. except that she... you know found that he’s a fucking murderer

HAHAHA PETE

right??? why does this show have to say everything out loud like don’t already know.

oh he just used her but then he liked her. idk. the way he speaks too, so nonchalant.

preach, ELLA!!!! shout out to those who had crappy childhoods and are not serial killers! that’s the bare minimum i guess.

go, Ella!!! know your worth!

lol made me love Pete, he’s funny.

ok my assumptions were right-ish.

HAHAHA, his american accent.

his choosing to be bot vulnerable around her anymore, Michael, i think is a way of him staying alive for Chloe but ofc Chloe will think that Lucifer would rather have his vulnerability than to be with her.

baka di lang love language ni Lucifer words of affirmation, okay! HE SAVED HER LIFE SO MANY TIMES AND NOW SHE’S DOUBTING BECAUSE HE HASN’T SAID I LOVE YOU YET??? SIZ. HE LITERALLY LEFT HELL FOR YOU.

MICHAEL STOP. Michael the shit stirrer. we all have that one friend.

awa me kay Maze. she’s like a lost dog throughout the show.

does Michael want to be God?

skipped thru the speech. cringe.

what’s Amenadiel’s problem with his child having a normal cold? what’s wrong if he’s a mere mortal?

WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHO’W SO INSECURE. i get so annoyed every time Chloe’s mad that Lucifer doesn’t get what he wants

it’s just that i resonate with Lucifer. it’s hard for me to say i love you and now i think Amenadiel stopped time.

oh. i thought Amenadiel’s fears about Charlie being mortal was superficial, i just realized that he was afraid that his child was going to die. but, he can take him to heaven like what he did with Charlotte, right?

oh Michael.

MAZE! MICHAEL IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!!! you’re fine! i don’t have a soul either.

celestial beings and their daddy issues and inability to communicate with one another and the desire to fight it out as if that’s the solution

HOTTEST BROTHERS EVER DAMN.

itong si God ngayon lang magpapakita anuna siz.

WHY ISN’T HE PLAYED BY MORGAN FREEMAN BUT OK.

CLIFFHANGER!!! IM MAD.

ep 8 should have been called blueballz tbh

#beigedrafts #lucifer #spoilers

8 notes · View notes

yougoodfahm · 4 years

Text

Movie night with the bois - Lion King

Link to this on ao3!

Pairing: Moceit (Patton x Janus)

Warnings: none I think?

Words: 1.7k

Summary: After SVS Redux, Patton invites Janus to movie night with the rest of the sides and they get all cuddly on the couch and it’s adorable ok I literally just wanted to write some cute moceit fluff lol

Janus could hear the laughter and the popcorn popping, even through his bedroom door. It was movie night. He wasn’t quite sure if he was allowed to go or not, since he’d never been invited before, but after today when at least Patton seemed welcoming to him, he wasn’t sure. Janus slumped down on the floor with his back against the wall. He’d been kind of hoping that he’d be able to join in, but didn’t want to intrude, especially since he knew how much he’d hurt Roman today, plus Virgil and him were not exactly on friendly terms.

He hadn’t wanted to hurt the others, he just sometimes couldn’t stop the words before they came out of his mouth. Most of the time he didn’t even mean to say them. It took so much concentration to not let things just slip through, and it seemed that any time he got upset, the insults just fell right out before he even had the chance to realize he was going to say it. Janus sighed and took off his bowler hat, running through his fingers through his hair. He heard a soft knock at the door. “Hey Janus?” he heard Patton’s voice call. Janus’s throat tightened as he stood up and walked over to the door, tentatively opening it to the shining face of the boy who’d been so kind to him just a few hours earlier, all dressed up in his cat onesie. “Hey, um I was just wondering if you wanted to join us for movie night? We made popcorn, and I think we’re probably going to watch the Lion King, if that sounds good to you. Of course, no pressure if you want to be left alone or something, but I just wanted to check…” Patton trailed off. “I doubt the others would want me around, given how they reacted to me earlier,” Janus spat out. When Patton and Janus had come back to the commons together, chatting away, Virgil had been absolutely livid. “We all talked, and I think I helped clear up some, uh, reservations that they had about you. I can’t say that everything’s all good now, since that’s really between you and them, but I asked if they wouldn’t mind if I invited you and they agreed as long as things stay civil. Considering that Roman’s been bringing Remus for the past couple of weeks as his guest, which always inevitably ends up as the two of them chucking popcorn across the room at each other, I think it should be ok. So, what do you say, will you come to movie night as my guest of honor?” Patton said with a shy smile. Janus’s throat felt like someone had tied a giant knot right in the middle, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to make out any understandable words so he just nodded and gave Patton a quick, grateful smile. Or at least that’s what he tried to convey, it more turned into his mouth twitching so it was really up to Patton’s interpretation what the mouth-twitch meant. “If you want, you can totally wear your usual clothes if that’s what’s comfortable for you, or if you have a onesie or pajamas that you like, those are really fun and comfy, too! I usually wear my cat onesie, of course,” Patton grinned. Janus bit his lower lip and looked over his shoulder. “Ok, um, give me a minute to change?” Patton nodded and stepped back out into the hallway, leaning against the opposite wall to wait while Janus changed. Janus walked over to his dresser and rummaged through the drawer where he kept his pajamas. What would be good for a movie night? he wondered. Janus had never been to a movie night before, so he wasn’t really sure. He didn’t have any onesies so that was off the table. He had some black and yellow flannel sweatpants that seemed like a good option, and he soon found a plain black tshirt. The combination seemed somewhat mysterious, which he liked, and not too much color or pattern which was good since he was hoping to not draw too much attention from the other sides during the movie. Ok, this’ll work. He quickly got changed and soon opened the door to, once again, reveal Patton smiling up at him. “Ok, cool! Are you ready to go watch?” Patton said, practically bouncing on his toes with anticipation. Janus nodded, and followed Patton as he bounded into the commons where the other sides had gathered on the massive couch. Logan was sitting on the left with his bowl of popcorn. Virgil had wedged himself into the corner between the left and middle sections of the couch, covered with several blankets so only his face was visible. Roman and Remus were fighting over the remote on the floor in the middle of the room, and popcorn had already been strewn all around them. There were already two bowls of popcorn waiting for Janus and Patton on the right side of the couch, so Patton made a beeline and patted the couch next to him so that Janus would follow suit. He hesitated a moment, gauging the energy of the room, but it seemed that everyone was just minding their own business. Janus noticed that Virgil tracked him as he crossed the room and sat down on the couch, but then Virgil’s eyes went back to watching Roman and Remus in their scuffle for turning on their preferred movie. Janus settled into the corner between the middle and right sections of the couch, and Patton sat to his side, both with their own popcorn bowls nestled into their laps. Roman lept up, holding the remote high over his head, yelling “OK IT’S TIME FOR THE LION KING!” and quickly pressing play before Remus had the chance to switch it to anything else. Roman tossed the remote to Virgil, who hid the remote in his endless blankets so Remus wouldn’t be able to find it. The twins slumped back against the couch, still sitting on the floor. Janus pulled his feet up and tucked them under himself so they wouldn’t be quite so close to Remus. Janus looked over at Patton, who seemed absolutely enthralled with the movie already, even though they hadn’t even gotten through the title sequence. Janus picked up a piece of popcorn and popped it into his mouth, thinking to himself, Huh, so this is what it’s like?

By the time the song Circle of Life had finished, Patton was sniffling and had tears welling up, which made Janus’s heart feel like someone had squeezed it very tightly.

During the scene where Scar throws Mufasa off the cliff, Patton gasped and suddenly gripped Janus’s hand and held it firmly. Janus didn’t dare move, in case Patton suddenly realized that he had accidentally held Janus’s hand without meaning to. He didn’t want to embarrass Patton. But after a minute or so, Janus realized that Patton’s grip had softened but still held onto his own. It seemed to not be a mistake after all. He slowly moved his fingers to interlace with Patton’s, careful not to move too fast, and he thought he saw the corner of Patton’s mouth tick upwards in a small smile. Janus’s heart lept into his mouth and he felt his mouth twitch once again.

Once they got to Hakuna Matata, Roman and Patton both stood up and belted out the song, pretending to hold microphones. Janus and the other sides laughed until their sides hurt, and he couldn’t help but feel like it was so right. After the song finished, Patton tumbled back onto the couch, much closer to Janus than before so their shoulders even overlapped, Patton leaning into him as he adjusted his sitting position. Janus expected Patton to move away as he re-settled in, so when he didn’t move further away Janus tried to scooch over to give him more room, but as he started to move Patton grabbed his hand again and looked into his eyes in a pleading way that clearly said, No, please stay like this. And so he did. Janus settled back into the corner again and Patton rested his head on Janus’s shoulder. Patton’s thumb traced circles on the back of Janus’s scaled hand. After a few minutes, the circles slowed and then stopped as Patton dozed off.

During the song Can You Feel the Love Tonight, Patton’s eyes fluttered open again and he glanced over at Janus, giving him a shy smile. He quickly fell asleep again on Janus’s shoulder, but he certainly didn’t mind since Patton’s hair was soft and smelled like honey and vanilla. Janus reached up to brush a strand of Patton’s hair out of his own face, and then found himself stroking his hair for a few minutes. He glanced over and saw Virgil staring at him, and he tried to give a look that said Is this okay? Virgil gave a slight nod and turned his gaze back to the movie. Janus went back to holding Patton’s hand and smiled a little to himself.

Janus was woken up as the sunlight streamed through the window onto his sleepy face. He cringed away from the bright light, and the movement woke up Patton who was curled up into Janus’s chest. “Hmmm? Oh, shoot, I guess it’s morning then,” Patton said, with a slightly disappointed tone. Someone had taken off Patton’s glasses and put a blanket over them, presumably after the movie. Oh god, that means they probably all saw them cuddled up on the couch. Janus’s face felt warm as he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Patton also sat up and yawned, stretched his arms up above his head, and then flopped over into Janus’s lap, looking up at him. “Hi, Janus,” Patton said, with a warm smile on his face. “Do you want to go make pancakes for breakfast? I’m pretty hungry.” “Ok, yeah that sounds really good,” Janus nearly whispered. It felt really strange to be so comfortable around someone, but a good kind of strange. Patton pulled himself off of the couch and offered Janus his hand to pull him up, though he didn’t let go even when they both were on their feet. He just led Janus over to the kitchen and started pulling out the supplies to make the pancakes. Well, I could certainly get used to this, Janus thought to himself, as he smiled and pulled out a mixing bowl.

Author’s note: Hi ok I haven't written fics in such a long time but my heart yearns for some fluff so I decided to write some myself sorry it’s not super original but oh well I think it’s cute lol Also just to clarify, I don't ship canon!Janus with anyone with where we're at in the series just yet, but I really like fanon!Moceit so here we are lol

#sanders sides #moceit #patton #janus #ts #morality #deceit #angst #janus angst #deceit angst #fluff #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #au #svs redux #cute #cuddling #happy #patton x janus #janus x patton

16 notes · View notes

burnt-tomato · 4 years

Note

herro!! can you write hcs for when noya and tendou gets jealous? like what would they be like? I feel like noya would rolling thunder someone’s ass HAHAH

♤: aye thanks for the ask!! Got braindead for a sec and couldn’t answer lmao. Ayt here are your headcannons. Also idk if you meant jealous as if talking to another mAn or jealous of your traits or who you are, so imma do both

»»--------------------------------------------------►

Nishinoya Yuu

If I were you I wouldn’t make this guy jealous lol

He’s probably jealous of your height let’s face it

Rolling thunder his ass what the hEcC lmao imma try to make that work

Jealous because of you talking to another guy

Noya is really protective of you bc he loves you a lot and is afraid to lose you and probably bc you’re the first and only to return his feelings

Made sure that everyone in the school class knew about your relationship. Yes even the team.

When a guy talks to you, let it be classmates, a friend or your brother bc why the hell not right? He will gLARE at them

Let’s say the 2 of you are in the same class. You were paired with a random guy for a partner project, and this rose a huge red flag for Noya

During class you and let’s name the random guy A, A had to sit next to eachother bc teacher's rules suck. You were wAy to0 cl0se to eachother, according to Noya's rules and regulations. More glaring yay.

You and A seem very… mmmmm friendly lol and Noya is n0t enjoying this

♤: aye sorry for cutting this but ya think Noya likes his girlfriend, if he gets one, more than Asahi and Kiyoko? My AsaNoya heart

Even when the project ended, you and A wanted to get to know eachother and be friends for plot and I’m pretty sure Noya is about to rolling thunder his ass

♤: not sure if noya is the threatening kind tho

Smashes down your door violently pulls you outside of class and to a corner ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). "Y/n... You better not tell me that you're planning to leave me for someone else.." "Yuu, why the hell would I do that? I only wanted to be friends with him because he's actually nice." "But I- sorry y/n. I'm just afraid of losing you." *hug hug cUdDlE hug because I can't describe scenarios like this lol*

Jealous because of someone flirting with you

There was this one particular guy who kept on looking at you and when you'd look back, he'd smile. Noya noticed this and let it slide for a few times, but that didn't last long. He soon felt itchy and bothered that someone's looking at you with a smile all the time.

He isn't quiet about it either. Everyday after class the guy staring at you (let's name him B) would wave his hand at you and say stuff like "see you tomorrow y/n" or when you and Noya arrive together at class he's be all "good morning y/n! Beautiful as ever!" And hoo boy Noya isn't happy. He would always say "Fuck off, you bastard. She's taken." And B will just belp at both of you.

Noya always tried to tackle the guy, but you always stopped him from doing so. Even if he wants to kill the guy or shout at him so bad, you keep reminding him to control his emotions. Idk if I were the girl i would offer Noya to double team B lol.

But hoo boy he cannot do that. B tool it to the next level and Noya couldn't keep it all in anymore.

It happened during a school day. Classes just ended and Noya told you to go on ahead and he'll just catch up, but just as you got out the door, B gripped you by the arm and pulled you by the door.

*peptalking my self* Ok Vy you can do this. You just have to make it look like B did a smooth move there even if you're bad with dialogues

"Hey hey y/n, you've been avoiding me for a long time now, and it's getting on my nerves." He whispers unto your ear. Noya hurry tf up your bae be in trouble. He places his thumb and index finger on your chin lifting it up and you can smell what he ate this morning

Ok Vy you can do this. "Look, I don't know if you're ignoring me because of that tiny guy, but I'll tell you now that he isn't good for you and you're too good for someone like him. You deserve someone better. Yknow, some like... me?" He smirks. You are hella disgusted

Who is this Bimbo trashtalking Noya. "So, y/n, could you be kind enough to give me your number and address~`>~~<~•||•《•¤○《•" wow I can't do this.

For a split second, you felt a hand travel to your back collar pulling to aside, revealing Noya, who was glaring daggers at B, while B was still smirking

"Hey hey now junior student, I was talking to y/n here, and you just disturbed our conversation." "Did I really? Oh sorry, but can I inform you that she's taken, nd if you want to leave school alive, you better step away now and never talk to her again." Noya says, trying his hardest to keep his composure and not lose control

"Geez fine already. You don't have to throw a fit about it. She wasn t worth my time anyways." He says walking away waving his right hand. "What did that bastard say about yo-?" You pulled Noya back. "It's fine now. He's gone." Noya was still frustrated, and you tried to cool him off.

*insert hugs and other stuff bc I'm uncomfortable writing those lolllll* you both go to the gym, and Noya forgot about what he was mad about as soon as he was playing and saw Kiyoko

Bonus

You're jealous of Kiyoko and Asahi bc even if Noya is dating you now, he still goes crazy over Kiyoko and hangs out around Asahi all the time lol

Tendou Satori

This is definitely someone I won't get jealous

Very underrated boy I love him

Jealous because of you talking to another guy

The time this happened was when you 2 were at the bookstore for the weekly jump. He left you for a while to look for the book while you hung around the novel books that you're probably not interested in

You saw a book that you got interested in, but was too high bc u short. You struggled reaching it, then goes a guy (I'll name him C). He reached the book for you and you bowed to thank him.

"Oh [ insert book title ]? You read that?" He asks. "Not really, it just looked interesting." You said. You both started chatting about that book, and then switched to your hobbies and other stuff.

Then Tendou comes. He wraps his lanky arm around you, forcing you to move back. And you're literally in a book section, so it's probably cramped. He looks at the guy, well, looking d0wn bc he t0l as hEcC.

"Eehh? So you're the guy I heard talking to y/n.. You better not be planning things to do to her, if you are you better prepare to go through me." The guy apologizesand waves you goodbye

"Satori, we were just talking about stuff we had similarities on.. He wasn't hitting on me." You say. "Oh? I guess my guess blocking only works on volleyball and not outside huh.. well anyway have you seen this week's jump? It's really interesting and has this-" starts rambling about the weekly jump. You were surprised yet used to this. Him being mad at first, then quickly turns back to normal when talking to you.

Jealous because of someone flirting with you

Mm m m m m m mm m mmm

̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\З=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=Ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

I just like making use of the fact he loves reading the weekly jump and is in the bookstore whenever he isn't playing volleyball

You were both at the mall to shop for something ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕗ and you both stopped for a bit in the bookstore. You hung out by the entrance while Tendou went inside bc he takes a hell lot of time lol.

You were minding your own business playing on your phone when this random guy walked up to you and pressed a finger on your phone, lowering it (let's name the guy D( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Hey hey beautiful~~~□•□•□•□□•□ [♤: I'm getting the big cringe lol]. Would you mind me asking for your number?" He asks with a smirk. You didn't know how to response or how to react during that time so you stood frozen, tilting your head to your left. You shook your head, signaling a 'no', but the guy insisted. He kept whispering (ง ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)ง and that made you really uncomfortable [♤: ew.]

You felt the door you had your hand on move away, then the next thing you knew, a tall lanky guy stood next to You, keeping his line of vision on D.

They started arguing, D protesting that you 2 were just having a friendly conversation. "Look, from inside, it was obvious that you were flirting with MY y/n. She shook her head multiple times and it was given that she was uncomfortable. So if you KINDLY would move away from her and never come back, that would really be appreciative." He says

You heard D make a 'tch' sound and walked away with a frustrated expression.

"You didn't really know that he was flirting huh? If it was obvious you could be come sooner." "Sorry the last time I butted in with your conversation with a guy I was mistaken, so I decided to make sure first." He said with a smile scratching the back of his head.

You 2 were about to leave when the shop owner said "Sir you will have to pay for that." Tendou was about to pay when he saw what happened. He laughed a little and went back inside apologizing.

»»--------------------------------------------------►

♤: I'm getting more inactive lmao But I'm still answering asks. Feel free to send in reqs for headcannons, scenarios and oneshots. The askbox is always open lol ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\З=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=Ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcannons #hq #hq headcannons #haikyuu Nishinoya #haikyuu Nishinoya headcannons #haikyuu Nishinoya x reader #Nishinoya x reader #haikyuu tendou Satori #haikyuu tendou #haikyuu tendou x reader #Tendou x reader #hq Tendou Satori #haikyuu Nishinoya Yuu #hq Nishinoya Yuu #hq Nishinoya x reader #hq Tendou x reader #jdndjdndjndjfjfjd

28 notes · View notes

ayeateez · 5 years

Text

Distance Between Us - Choi San

YOUTUBER AU

WORD COUNT: 7166

GENRE: fluff <3

WARNINGS: fluff overload, cussing, my cringe writting

Who was Sanshine? And why did this username keep appearing in my comments? I just decided to brush it off and continue scrolling, but there were barely any comments about the video I had just posted, they all just said Sanshine.

I just decided to ignore it and continue with my night.

It was pretty late, around 22:24, but I still had a few things to do, like eat and shower, so I did just that before laying in bed. I checked the comments once more, but they weren’t any different. They all only said Sanshine. Who is Sanshine? I was so tired and just wanted to go to sleep, so I put my curiosity on hold until the next morning.

I woke up to my phone buzz buzzing like crazy. There were all messages from my friends and notifications from my social media’s. I opened up my messages and it was my friend spamming me with “Sanshine”.

Who the hell is Sanshine? Do I need to make a video about this? The fact that so many people are telling me about this “Sanshine” person, it’s probably something just to mess with me. I sighed and got out of bed to make myself look presentable before sitting in front of a camera.

I set up all my lighting, my seating and my camera and cleaned up at but before starting to record.

“Really, guys?” I sighed.

“Who the hell is Sanshine? What kind of sick joke is this? I’m not stupid, y’all are just trying to get on my nerves. You’ve even got my friends spamming me with “Sanshine” like, it’s literally so stupid, I don’t get it” I complained, throwing my hands in the air.

“Y’all know about my curiosity, and yeah is slowly killing me cause I haven’t looked it up yet, but come on, can you maybe not? It’s annoying, please don’t spam my social media and my comments and even my text messages or dms with this “Sanshine” thing like, it’s beyond stupid, thanks” I said and ended the clip.

My channel is actually a complete mess. It goes from gaming videos, to vlogs, to covers and its really just all over the place. I honestly just can’t stick to one topic, and yeah it’s annoying.

It checked my phone for the time, more messages from my friends that all say “Sanshine” and it was 11:02am. I was going to go shopping/vlogging with some of my friends, so maybe I should get ready so I don’t look like a total mess?

I started to wait on my couch once I was done, to hear the door bell ring or possibly someone trying to break down my door with their fists, either one could happen. It was sadly the second option.

I opened it to Peyton pounding her fist on the door and it almost hit me in the face.

“You bitch, you almost hit me in the face AND my camera” I laughed a bit, glad I decided to record me literally answering the door.

“Whatever. Are you Sanshine’s girlfriend yet?” Peyton wiggles her eyebrows.

“I don’t even know who that is” I scoffed and made my way to the car.

“Look him up, dumbass” Alexandra rolled her eyes.

“I’m not going to and there’s literally nothing you can do about it” I laughed while getting in the passenger side.

“Fine, we’ll tell you about him” Peyton huffed, getting in the back while Alexandra got in the front.

“No thanks, I don’t want to know about him” I chuckled before plugging my phone in.

“What do y’all wanna listen to?” I asked, looking at them.

“Literally stop asking us, BTS” Peyton rolled her eyes.

“Keep it up with that attitude and I’ll reach back there and slap you” I threatened, maybe not so playfully while turning on a playlist full of BTS.

“Ok so his name is-“ I cut her off by turning it up louder.

“HE IS IN BUSAN RIGHT NOW, IF WE RUN INTO HIM AND FANS IT IS GOING TO BE A HELLHOLE” Peyton practically screamed over the music. All I did was put up the okay sign.

We arrived to the place we were going to be walking around at around 20 minutes after, and they haven’t tried to mention this Sanshine dude once since, and it’s making me nervous. Something isn’t right, they’re secretly planning something and I know it, but I just don’t know what.

We walked around, I filmed a bit, took some pictures with fans. I even decided to talk to some fans that came up to us while we were eating near the water fountain.

“So, have you contacted Sanshine, yet?” A fan asked and I rolled my eyes.

“What is this Sanshine thing? Who is he? I keep getting people saying Sanshine to me, but I don’t know who he is nor do I have a desire to” I laughed a bit while playing with my straw. The couple of fans pouted.

“You should really look into him, please. He made a whole video about you-“

“That’s enough, she can look up the rest herself if she wants to” one of the fans friends covered her mouth from saying any more.

“He made a whole video about me? Without even knowing me? What?” I asked, now more intrigued.

“Oh my god, there he is. We have to go, bye y/n, it was nice meeting you!” The group yelled while waving, as they sprinted away.

“There’s who? What? He made a video about me? I have literally have made nothing controversial, ever. What is-“

“It’s not a controversial video, WE LITERALLY CAME TO YOUR DOOR AND ASKED IF YALL WERE DATING YET” Peyton said, raising her voice towards the end, grabbing peoples attention.

“Dude, shut up” I whisper shouted at her.

“We’re not telling you any more, if you want to know more go look him up yourself” Alexandra rolled her eyes and continued to drink her drink. I scoffed before sitting back. I scanned around the area until I laid my eyes upon a breathtakingly handsome boy. Shit, his jawline could cut, his hair looks so fluffy, I want to touch it. OH SHIT HE JUST SMILED HIS DIMPLES OH MY GOD-

I need to calm down.

“Y/n? You ok? You good?” Alexandra snapped her fingers in front of my face. I gulped.

“Y-Yeah, I-I’m fine” I stuttered, shaking my head to snap out of my thoughts.

“You’re blushing, where’d the handsome dude you saw now?” Alexandra laughed, and I covered my face.

“Shut up. We need to leave, now” I said before standing up and dragged them away from the area.

“Why do we even take you out anymore?” Peyton sighed, it was more of a sarcastic way.

“Literally, if you think he’s hot go ask him out!” Alexandra yelled once we had gotten away from that area. I shook my head.

“Well, what did he look like at least, so if we see him again we can get his number for you?” Peyton asked.

“He was cute-“

“No shit” Alexandra rolled her eyes.

“Fine. He has a really sharp jawline, blonde fluffy hair, his smile is fucking adorable, not to mention dimples and oh my god I might hyperventilate” I described him and they looked at each other wide eyed.

“What?” I asked.

“Shit, you’re in love” Peyton smirked and I playfully hit her arm.

“No, he’s just cute. He could be a dumbass for all I know” I rolled my eyes and we continued walking and weaving between stores.

I saw the dude once more, and we made eye contact. I immediately ran from the area, Peyton and Alexandra following far behind.

“Literally, stop running from every cute guy you see!” Peyton shouted, making heads turn our way. She knows how to embarrass people.

“Shut up!” I whispered at her. She just laughed. I looked around and saw a group of people pushing the handsome guy towards me.

“G-guys...he’s coming towards us..meet you back at the car” I said quickly before sprinting my way back to the parking lot and jumping inside the car, which they had stupidly left unlocked.

They joined me a few minutes later, panting from the running they had to do.

“We scared everybody off” Alexandra laughed. I nodded a ‘good job’ to them. She proceeded to start the car and drive back to my house, where I didn’t know what we’d do there.

It was late and today’s vlog has just been uploaded, starting with the Sanshine message I filmed earlier. I scrolled through my Instagram, and this Sanshine guy was even in my recommended to follow. I couldn’t see what he looked like, his profile picture was a sun with a smiley face.

I rolled my eyes and checked the comments that were just now pouring in. Only a few of them said Sanshine, and some of them were apologizing. I laughed lightly and shook my head before putting my phone away.

It was around 21:09, it was still pretty early, for me at least. There are nights where I stay up until ungodly hours editing, it’s most nights. I don’t have anything to do, besides eat and shower. There was no point in checking my comments, it’s all the same thing.

One thing lingered in my mind, though. Who is Sanshine? My curiosity has slowly been eating away at me, and I don’t know how much more I can take. I looked at my computer, debating whether I grab it and look him up.

Before I can register everything, my fingers are typing away and scrolling on YouTube. He must be a YouTuber, those fans said he made a video, right?

I press the search button and his channel pops up. 3.4 Mil, not bad. I scrolled through his channel until I saw a video titled ‘confession’. It had my channel name in the thumbnail.

I clicked on it. It was the same guy from earlier. Oh my god, he was Sanshine. H-He likes me?

I watched more of the video, and it was basically about him confessing he has a crush on me, without even knowing me.

“I-I know it’s stupid... but I’ve been accused so many times of hating y/n or having something against them but, I-I don’t want you guys to think that anymore. Please don’t spam her comments or DMs or messages with anything about this, if she decides to.-”

I paused the video. I mean, it’s true that you can fall for someone online, I’m as real as can be on YouTube, if you fell in love with me through my videos, I’m not any different in real life.

I shut my computer and tried to take my mind off of him. I made myself some good, ate, showered and tried to sleep, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Something about this Sanshine guy drew me in, though I eventually passed out with the image of him in my head.

I woke up to light pouring into my room, right through my curtains. How late is it? I rolled over to look at my phone. Oh shit it’s-

“Y/N ITS LITERALLY 13:07 WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL IN BED?!” Peyton bursted through my door and yelled.

“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!” I yelled back.

“We can talk about that later, get out of bed so we can go” Alexandra laughed nervously.

“Are you telling me I look like shit and that I have bad security?”

“Yes”

I got out of bed and pushed them out of my room so I could get ready. I grabbed my camera, making sure I had charged it, grabbed my backpack, phone and ran out to their car to meet them.

“So where are we going?” I asked, and started to film my first clip of the day.

“So um, yesterday Peyton kinda broke her left shoe..” Alexandra trailed off.

“Fine, I’ll buy you new shoes” I rolled my eyes and laughed.

“Huh? Oh no, I can pay for them myself, it’s just we wanted to drag you along. Also Sanshine-“

“Yes, I looked him up last night” I sighed and they both burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, yesterday, you literally called him hot and cute like 6 times” Peyton laughed.

“Okay, first of all it was 2 times, second of all he is and I’m just telling the truth” I rolled my eyes. Peyton scoffed and rolled her eyes before Alexandra turned up the music to stop an argument from possibly breaking out.

We arrived at a different place from yesterday and got out. Wanna know who I saw?

Sanshine.

I wanted to look away but I couldn’t. I felt bad about what I had uploaded yesterday, I kinda wish I had done my research before I posted the video, but guess who’s dumb? Spoiler: it’s me.

We made eye contact, but this time I didn’t instantly turn away. I looked for a few seconds before turning back to my friends, who were trying to pick out a new pair of shoes for Peyton.

“I kinda like these, do you think they’ll have them in my size?” Peyton asked, while turning around to show me a pair of shoes.

“Probably. 9 times out of 10 they’ll have your size. Go ask” I shrugged, shoving my hands into my pocket.

“What video are you gonna post today?” Alexandra asked while Peyton asked the staff for a pair to try on.

“Probably half vlog half gaming. I’d ask Peyton if she wanted to play with me cause I was planning on playing some overwatch, but we both main d.va therefore we’d be fighting on who gets to play as her literally every single round” I laughed a bit.

The rest of the day went smoothly, we only hung out until about 5:30, and they had to go back to their shared apartment.

I was filming some gameplay before I got a notification from my phone. I went to check it only to see a notification saying someone requested to DM me on Instagram, I never get these kinds of notifications unless they’re from a verified account.

“I’ll be right back after this round give me a moment” I said before leaving the game and stopped my filming.

Confused, I unlocked my phone and went to my requests and- oh god. Sanshine DMed me.

Sanshine: Hey y/n, it’s kinda weird for me to drop by like this but I just wanna say I’m sorry for the things that have happened the past few days. I didn’t mean for it to go like this and I just wanted to be honest with my fans. I’m truly sorry.

I laughed a bit while reading his messages. As if people constantly saying “Sanshine” to me actually affected me one bit. That’s funny.

Me: It’s alright.

I kinda feel like a dick for giving him such a short response, but I’ll probably send him another message later. For now, I need to finish this video.

As I snuggled under my covers, I suddenly remember to text Sanshine back. I checked our DMs, and he read my message.

Me: Hey sorry, I was busy earlier and couldn’t give a real response. But it’s really okay, I try my best to stay true to my fans too and sometimes, as much as we try, there are somethings we can’t control, and at the end of the day, we’re all humans who can make their own choices, whether they are wise or not. Ps you’re cute ;)

I added the thing at the end, probably just to excite him. I don’t want to lead him on or anything, but I don’t want to like, leave him, you know? I think we could be friends, and if feelings develop, probably more. I shut my phone off and laid back down, thinking about him... I couldn’t be catching feelings, could I? I only know what he looks like and that he’s sorry for people constantly spamming me with Sanshine. Hell, I don’t even know his name. He’s cute and sorry, that’s all I know...

I opened my eyes the next morning, still wanting to sleep, but was that going to happen? No. I checked my phone and it was 09:34am. I looked at all my social media’s, and it looked like the Sanshine stuff wasn’t going to be clearing up anytime soon.

I got out of bed and started to get ready for the day. I wasn’t going to be doing anything particularly interesting today, so I’d probably just post a cover or a gaming video, probably a livestream though. I checked my Instagram DMs to see if Sanshine responded to my message, and sure as shit he did.

Sanshine: O-oh..okay well thanks heh. Let me know if you ever wanna hang out sometime then.

Aww, he stutters over text, how cute. I smiled to myself before shutting off my phone and going to get dressed and whatnot.

After that, I made some breakfast to eat, just eggs and toast, nothing special. As I was eating, I was wondering what I should do today. I could go out again, why? I don’t know. I could play more video games, I could buy a new game and livestream? I could stalk Sanshine, I don’t know but there are plenty of options. Then an idea sparked in my head.

People ship Sanshine and I. Ships always come with fan fiction. That.. that’s it. That’s exactly was I was going to do today. My smile grew as I started to set up to film this video. I went onto the most popular site for fan fiction, wattpad, and typed in my name x Sanshine. Sure enough, lots of stories came up. I debated whether to ask Alexandra and Peyton if they wanted to come over, but decided not to. I pressed start on the film button.

“Hey guys! How are y’all doing today? My day has been... boring honestly. I ate and that’s about it. As I was wandering around my house, thinking about what I should do for today’s video, a great idea popped into my head!” I started, a small smile forming on my face.

“I thought, hm, people ship this Sanshine dude and I, ships always come with fan fiction, why not read some?” I smiled at the camera, knowing I had cause some of my fans who were going to watch this pain.

“So I went onto a popular site called wattpad, and well, typed up my name x Sanshine and well, a lot of results came up. You guys are quick” I laughed.

“So I’ve decided to read this one book called y/n x Sanshine one shots. I had no clue what a one shot was, so I looked it up on urban dictionary, and apparently it’s like a short fan fiction, so we’re just going to be reading a book full of those” I explained before clicking on the story(s) that I was about to read.

“This is what happens when you aren’t creative and have shitty content” I sighed.

“Okay lets get started”

“It was a bright, sunny day and y/n and San, wait his real name is San? Like, mountain? Give me a moment” I said before bursting into laughter off camera. About 3 minutes later I regained my senses and wiped my tears before sitting back down.

“Sorry. I have no clue why that was so funny to me, I feel so bad” I chuckled before continuing to read the rest.

About half way through the 3rd one, things started to get a little... hot.

“Oh. Um. Oh my g o d. Will I get demonetized if I keep reading this?” I asked myself.

“San slowly took off y/n’s shirt while kissing her- yeah no I think that’s enough” I laughed awkwardly before slamming my computer shut. I looked directly into the camera before situating myself.

“Anyways, um, that’s the video. I’m scarred, so if that was your guys goal, good job you have succeeded. If you desperately want me to read more fan fiction, y’all better get me to 800k likes cause that was hell” I chuckled.

“Bye” I waved before turning off the camera. I sat down at my desk, opened my computer and proceeded to edit and post the video.

Sooner or later, my phone buzzed. Another DM from Sanshine.

Sanshine: Hey, haha. Sorry to bother but can I steal your video idea? You know, the reading fan fiction one?

Me: Sure. If you’re still in Busan we can film together if you want.

Sanshine: Damn, I just got back to Seoul a couple hours ago. Maybe next time?

Me: Sure.

I smiled and turned off my phone. This kid... why does he have my heart feeling this way? I noticed he had always been following me on Instagram, so why not follow him back? Fans were probably going to explode but oh well. As soon as I pressed the follow button, literally 3 seconds later everything in my tagged said I followed Sanshine. It made me wonder how many people were actually keeping track of San and I.

I laid back on my couch, turning on the tv for some background noise. It was around 15:06 already, I still had hours to kill. Peyton and Alexandra were bugging me on why I didn’t invite them to read fan fiction with me. I just texted them to shut the fuck up.

•

A few days pass, and San has kinda caught my interest. I’ve been watching his videos lately, and he’s funny and entertaining. I had subbed to him recently, and my socials have blown up. I haven’t talked to him since the fan fiction thingy, but it’s fine I guess. His dimples are so cute, it actually makes me melt though. I think I have a thing for dimples, my friends call it a kink but I don’t think that’s possible. A kink for dimples? Just listen to how weird that sounds!

As on cue, an Instagram DM notification pops up on my phone. San. Of course. I find myself smiling while reading his message.

Sanshine: Hey. I hope it’s not too weird for me to be messaging you like this, haha. Just want to know how you’ve been :)

Me: Oh, hey. I’ve been good. Maybe it’s a bit weird, but I don’t mind messages from you! How have you been?

Sanshine: Oh, thanks. I’ve been doing well. I just kinda maybe.. wanted to know if you’d like to be friends or something?

Me: What’s the or something? ;)

Sanshine: You’ll find that out soon ;))

I silently cringed at the winky faces, but the conversation continued for hours upon hours until he had to leave. I soon found myself smiling and blushing while reading through our past messages. We had swapped phone numbers half way through, for better communication I guess.

The shipping material hasn’t died down at all, though. In fact, now people think we’re secretly dating and it’s all the drama that’s going on. I shut my phone off and plugged it in beside my bed so it could charge. I fell asleep happily that night, thinking about the long conversation we had. Ew, that was cheesy, but you get what I mean. I hope.

I woke up the next morning and rolled over to check my phone, only to see a text from San.

San: Good morning, I hope you slept well and I hope you have a wonderful day! Don’t forget to eat and drink lots of water!💞

Oh my god. He sent me a good morning text. Tell me he isn’t boyfriend material oh my god and he put hearts too, I’m going to scream. Then I scrolled down to Peyton and Alexandra spam texting our group chat, asking if I wanted to go out today. I have nothing else better to do, so why not? They said they would pick me up around noon, so I had around an hour to eat and get ready.

•

I got into the backseat of their car, my camera out.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“How’s you and Sanshine?” Peyton turned around and smirked. As much as I wanted my smile to drop, it only grew bigger. Peyton started squealing, which turned into a scream, which turned into a shriek.

“T-THAT MEANS THERES SOMETHING GOING ON!!! TELL US!!” Peyton screamed and Alexandra hit her lightly for Peyton to calm down. I turned off my camera.

“We’ve just been talking. That’s all” I shrugged.

“No, y’all have been flirting!!” Peyton yelled again.

“Maybe-“ I was cut off by Peyton’s screaming.

“Calm down!” Alexandra yelled. I leaned back in my seat after giving a few details and buckled up, turning the camera back on.

“So, where are we going?” I asked curiously.

“To fucking Seoul” Peyton joked.

“I don’t mind” I shrugged.

“Of course you don’t, your god damn boyfriend lives there!”

“He’s not my boyfriend, dipshit!”

“Mhm”

I rolled my eyes before they turned on some music. You guessed it - BTS.

•

We arrived an outdoor mall, basically. It was small and not commonly known around here, therefore it was a nice, easy place to walk around in.

“So what are you guys planning on doing?” I asked as we walked around.

“Just this. Maybe buying a few things. Doesn’t matter, really” Peyton shrugged as she skipped around, leaving Alexandra and I to follow her in a fast walk.

I sat in the changing room, bored out of my mind as the other 2 went to go try on some clothes. There were a lot, and they’re slow, so it’ll be awhile. My phone dinged, only to see a text from San. I smiled and unlocked my phone.

San: Hey. What are you doing right now?

Me: Oh, hi. I’m at the mall with Peyton and Alexandra. They’re trying on clothes so I’m stuck in the waiting area, haha. What about you?

San: That sucks lmao. I’ll entertain you. I’m not really doing anything, my dorm mates abandoned me.

Me: All 7 of them?

San: Yep. All 7. They’re just out doing their own things, some of them are probably at a mall like you while the others went out to eat or something

Me: Aw, well I’d never leave you

San: Even if you tried, you couldn’t ;)

I let out a small yelp as I felt someone touch my shoulder.

“Who are you texting?” Peyton smirked.

“I-uh no one” I stuttered as I struggled to slip my phone back into my pocket. Alexandra and Peyton looked at each other other suspiciously.

“Mhm. Alright, let’s go we’re paying then getting some food” Alexandra tugged on my arm to the cashier where they payed for their stuff. They then dragged me to a nearby café that was in the mall.

We sat down at a table after ordering our food. As the other 2 engaged in a conversation, I got back on my phone under the table.

San: Y/n??

San: Hello? Did I scare you away?

San: I’m sorry

Me: Nonono, sorry haha. My friends dragged me away to go pay and whatnot. We’re in a café right now. That was my fault, heh

San: Oh, no worries. I was just scared that I had finally scared you off lol

Me: Scare me off? Never

San: Never?? You wanna hear my pick-up lines?

Me: Sure ;)

San: Alright

San: Did it hurt?

Me: When I fell from heaven..?

San: No when you fell from the vending machine

Me: What the fuck San

San: Cause you a snack ;)

San: Hello?

San: Uh oh

Me: I feel attacked

San: Not a-snacked?

Me: lmao pls stop

San: Never ;)

Me: Lol I’m leaving bye

San: Wait no come back please

I shut my phone off to see Peyton and Alexandra smirking at me. They had somehow grabbed my camera without me noticing and were now filming me.

“So, y/n, who were you texting?” Peyton said, smirk growing.

“Uh...” I was at loss for words.

“Who? Tell us! You want to be real, right?” Peyton pushed it further.

“S-San...” I gulped before hiding my face.

“What about?” Alexandra asked.

“Uhh... j-just entertaining each other..” I stuttered. Right at the perfect moment, someone came to the table with our food. We thanked them before I stuffed my mouth with food so I wouldn’t have to answer questions. I chewed slowly, snatching my camera back and stopped recording.

“Guys, why? I don’t think people should know about San and I talking and getting to know each other. It can be blown way out of proportion and people would go absolutely crazy” I explained and they gave me the :o face, as if they just really really understood why. I shook my head and continued eating.

They dropped me back off at my house, and I showered and changed, before starting to edit my video. My phone buzzed, and it was a text from San.

San: Hey

Me: Hii

San: Wanna FaceTime?

Me: Sure

This was the first time San had asked to FaceTime, so I was a bit nervous and excited. As much as I’ll try to deny it in the future, I’m catching feelings.

My phone screen suddenly changed to my reflection as it showed San was calling. I hit accept and only showed my eyes. It connected and he showed his full face, his smiling growing so his dimples were showing.

“Hey, why aren’t you showing your beautiful face?” He smiled and I slowly showed my bare face, glasses and everything.

“There she is” San’s smile grew wider, somehow.

“So, what are you doing right now?” He asked, propping up his phone so he wouldn’t have to hold it as he rested his chin on his palms.

“Oh, nothing. Just editing today’s video, you know?” I said with a small awkward laugh.

“That doesn’t sound like nothing. I still don’t know how people do it, post videos everyday? That seems impossible for me” he chuckled.

“Well that’s cause you have no friends. Friends that hang out with you, anyways” I shrugged and he pretended to look offended.

“That hurts my feelings, how dare you” he scoffed and pretended to cry, making me laugh.

The call lasted for hours, and I probably would’ve forgotten to post the video of he didn’t remind me. His roommates came back around an hour and a half into the call. They bugged him and annoyed San every once in awhile. I just laughed at all his attempts to shoo away his roommate, Mingi and another guy named Wooyoung.

•

Months passed into the winter, and San and I still talked as often as possible. We flirted shamelessly over text basically every second we talked. There were no labels, until one day I was out with - you guessed it, Peyton and Alexandra, shopping for Christmas. My phone buzzed, only for it to be San. Who else would it be?

San: Hey wanna be my girlfriend?

Me: Sure

San: Holy shit that was easy

I laughed at San’s shock over text, and suddenly, my phone screen lit up only for him to be calling me.

“Hello?” I said with a small laugh.

“You’re serious, right? Like, you aren’t fucking with me for shits and giggles?” San asked, voice full of shock.

“Nope, 100% serious” I laughed.

“Oh my god ohmygodohmygod” he squealed and I laughed even harder at his excitement.

“HAHAHA FUCKERS I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW!!” I heard San scream out his door before shutting it.

“I’m glad you’re excited, but maybe can I call back later? I’m kinda out and about right now, and in public isn’t the perfect time to be calling-“

“Of course! Call me as soon as possible!” San said cheerfully.

“Okay, well bye Sannie”

“Bye Y/n-ie!” He sang into the phone before I hung up. After a few seconds, it washed over me that I’m now dating Choi San. Over the internet.

“Why are you stuck? Come on!!” Alexandra yelled and dragged me to another store. The amount of money I’ve spent today is quite something. I don’t like to use my money, or a lot of it at once, at least.

After a few more stores and a few more hours, we had finally left the mall and Peyton and Alexandra took me back home, as I carried in all the bags in one trip.

After putting away my things, I decided to do live stream on Instagram. As soon as I pressed start, there were already thousands of viewers. I started to read off random comments I saw.

“Y/n do you still remember Sanshine? Yes, in fact, I do. We talked for a bit after people started bugging me” I chuckled, hoping it seemed real.

“Did you know that he has a girlfriend now? Or supposedly does? Sanshine has a girlfriend? Hm, interesting” I shrugged.

“Yeah, he met her over the Internet. She lives in Busan like you. He exposed himself when one of the people he lives with in his dorm was doing a gaming live stream, and Sanshine shouted “hahaha fuckers I have a girlfriend now”. In fact it was earlier today” I read out. Oh shit, people caught on quick.

“I’m happy for him” I shrugged it off and continued reading more comments. Then San texted me.

“Why do you have time to do a livestream but not time to call me back?” I read out loud.

“Oh shit, I forgot to call someone back. If you’re watching this, I’ll call you right after” I smiled awkwardly before continuing my live.

It ended about 45 minutes later, and as soon as I ended it I called San.

“You hurt me” I could hear San pout over the phone.

“Well, I could’ve not called you back in general-“

“You said once you were home”

“I said as soon as possible” I rolled my eyes. He tried to hold back a laugh before he started cracking up on the other end.

We stayed on call for awhile, we ate dinner on the phone together and whatnot. Our calls always last for an average of 3-5 hours, sometimes more, sometimes less.

As I was laying down in bed, my phone resting on my nightstand, we were just talking.

“I wish we could see each other for Christmas” he sighed.

“Me too”

“I wish I could go to Busan, but I can’t”

“Why not?” I asked curiously.

“Because of stupid reasons. Also cause my dorm mates said they’ll kick me out if I spend another Christmas away from them that isn’t with my family” he sighed again.

“They wouldn’t”

“They would”

“You could come live with me” I suggested. He paused for a moment.

“Hm, maybe” he shrugged.

“What? Am I that scary?” I laughed and he looked offended.

“No! You’re softer than a pillow and marshmallows!!” He shot back, which made me laugh harder. Rolling my eyes, we continued to talk through the night, not even realizing the time until somebody called him out for it.

“San, will you shut up already? You guys have talked all night! It’s already 9!” Mingi yelled from his bed. We both checked the time, and you bet, it was 9 o’clock. My phone battery wasn’t low, due to it being on a charger but damn was my phone hot.

I quickly checked to see how long we’ve been on call for, and shit it’s been 15 hours... 15 hours of nonstop talking.

“Shit, I might just sleep through the day” he chuckled.

“Ah, me too but I don’t want to leave you..” I sighed.

“Come over” he said, and I had no clue on whether he was joking.

“Wait, are you serious?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’ll wait for you. Give me a time and I can pick you up” he said and I could actually hear him smiling. How do you hear someone smile, I don’t know.

“Okay.. let me look at train tickets” I said, getting out of bed and getting onto my computer. I looked at the train tickets for the quickest trip from Busan to Seoul.

“The quickest I can find leaves at 11:30 and takes 3 hours and 11 minutes” I read out to him.

“Good. Pack a lot, you’ll be staying here. Don’t worry, if you run out of clothes you can wear mine” he said, possibly winking. It was easy to predict his actions now, knowing him so well.

“Alright then... see you in 5 hours I guess” I said with a small laugh.

“BOYS WE HAVE 5 HOURS TO CLEAN UP THE DORM MOVE YOUR ASSES” San screamed.

“Okay, yeah see you. I can’t wait! Bye!” He squealed before hanging up the phone. I rolled my eyes and went to hop in the shower. I had just done my laundry, so everything was all nice and clean.

After taking a quick shower, I quickly packed everything I needed. Hygienic things, clothes, chargers, laptop, but I don’t think I’ll need a guitar yet. Plus, he once said one of his dorm mates plays the guitar too, so we’ll see.

I started my vlog, nothing too exciting, just saying that I was going to Seoul for a little bit. I managed to get Alexandra to give me a ride to the train station, not Peyton cause she’s scream the entire time. Alexandra is a bit more on the calm side.

I was around 10 minutes early, and I sat on a bench, waiting for my train to come. A few fans came up to me and ask me for pictures, and it probably looked like I was dead inside or something cause I was so tired. I had truly stayed up all night calling San.

As soon as I got onto the train, I sat down and relaxed, sticking my earbuds into my ears, and fell asleep hugging my luggage so no one could steal it.

I woke up to the announcement that we had arrived, and it was around 14:45. I texted San that I had just arrived, and he said he got stuck cleaning the last bits of the dorm so one of his dorm mates, Seonghwa, would come get me. I’ve talked with Seonghwa quite a bit, he’s nice. He likes to steal San’s phone when San goes to the bathroom and talk to me.

I see a familiar face walking up to me, and I started making my way to him, as we smiled tiredly at each other.

“Hey, y/n. So nice to meet you in person, now!” Seonghwa greeted me.

“Hi. You too” I smiled back.

“Are you hungry or anything?” He asked and I shook my head. He led me to his car and we talked the entire way back to the dorm. I was so close to seeing San again.

“Y’know, San has had a crush on you for the longest time. Now that you guys are dating, he keeps telling us it’s a dream come true” Seonghwa exposed San, making me burst into laughter.

“Oh really? A dream come true, huh?” I repeated and he nodded. We eventually made it to the dorms they lived in, and he took me up to their dorm.

“This is it. Ready to meet your boyfriend?” Seonghwa asked.

“That sounded weird, but yes, yes I am” I smiled. He unlocked the door and opened it, and in sat 6 boys, legs all crossed, sitting up straight and pretending to be all fancy. I looked at them for 3 seconds, looked back at Seonghwa, and then we burst into laughter.

“You guys know how to make a first impression” I laughed as they now all came to the door and greeted me. I greeted them back, slipping off my shoes.

“San’s in his room, tired as hell and dying of nervousness” Hongjoong told me. I thought for a bit before deciding to see if I could scare him, but that’s maybe not a good idea.

I carefully knocked on the door and I heard a small “come in!” and I peaked through the door, only to see San pacing back and forth. I walked in and shut the door.

“Not gonna greet your girlfriend?” I asked and his head snapped towards me. He ran the steps he could and pounced on me, almost knocking me over.

“Y/n!!!” He shouted. I smiled and hugged him back.

“Hi Sannie” I giggled and he only hugged me tighter.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here!” He said, pulling back to look at my face.

“Me too..” I said and he kissed my nose. I blushed, hiding my face into his shoulder as his arms slid around my waist.

“Are you tired? Hungry? Thirsty?” He asked. I shook my head.

“Just a bit tired, had a power nap on the train. Wasn’t a good one, but it’ll do” I snuggled into him more.

“Then let’s sleep!” He announced, helping me, somehow, undress of me of my dirty train clothes and slipping on new ones, by that I mean one of his shirts, even though I brought a lot of my clothes. Maybe it was moving a bit too fast, but who cares? All I wanted to do was be in San’s arms.

He let me under the covers first before getting in himself, arms sliding around me as he held me close to him.

“Hmm, I’ve wanted to hold you like this for a long time...” he sighed blissfully.

“Have you?” I asked, fingers brushing over his adorable neck freckles.

“Mmhm” he said with a slight nod, and you chuckled.

“Just think, it’s almost been a year since you’ve posted that video. When did you post that? March?”

“Yeah, March. I’ve liked you for longer, though” he shrugged.

“Scientists say when you like someone for more than 6 months, you’ve fallen in love with them” I stated a fact I learned awhile back.

“So does this mean I can officially say I’ve fallen in love with you, then?” He asked with a small laugh.

“If you want. That means I can say the same, too” I smiled, hiding myself.

“Oh?” He asked playfully.

“Am I that irresistible?” He teased and I playfully hit his chest.

“Stop” I whined.

“Never” He laughed back, pressing a small kiss to my forehead.

“I’m so glad you here..” He mumbled into my hair.

“Me too. I’m glad we finally closed the distance between us…” I said into his chest. It was silent then, as we just held each other, waves of sleep taking over us.

138 notes · View notes