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kkyujikoo · 3 years

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These are my... 2...? Maybe 50, cents about the whole "freejk" thing. I'm gonna be extremely petty and at some points a whole lot sarcastic and it's gonna be long but I had to say it. As soon as I get my computer I'm gonna make it under read more, but the app does whatever it wants, as we know.

Listen, this ain't my first fan rodeo, and not even the first fan rodeo where I've been directly or indirectly accused of being some sort of pervert or delulu. I've been in fandom spaces since I was a teen, I was shipping mlm couples when queerbaiting in TV shows was still something that was seen as the norm rather than some cheap disgusting trick. I was there when fanfic spaces saw "slash" fics as something "different" and to be tagged with a more mature rating even when they just looked at each other.

I was in BBC's Sherlock's fandom and I shipped Johnlock during the hiatus between S3 and S4, at this point I'm not even feeling it when people call me delulu or a weirdo.

So, yeah, take this with a grain of salt: as a person who has seen thousands of times fandom drama unfolding and has lived too much of it... This whole situation is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. Like, yeah, it's maddening how people will blame anyone and everyone because they don't even see their own bias and homophobia, granted, but like... It also makes me laugh for the sheer dumbassery of the reasoning behind it all?

Like... Y'all are getting mad and for what? Because it sure as hell isn't the invasion of privacy, since y'all are watching the same content we're all watching and you're paying to see it the same way everyone else is. If you don't want to "invade their privacy", you should just... Stop watching content that isn't their music videos, RUN episodes or interviews. Memories and any kind of dvd/video that shows what they're doing behind the scenes shouldn't be part of their job as musicians, and therefore we're intruding in their privacy... Or aren't we?

Or maybe it's more nuanced than that: maybe the content they release on dvd/on their official channels is part of their job as entertainers, and it's been approved, and it's a small window THEY are granting us.

You know what's the REAL invasion of privacy and what REALLY invalidates someone autonomy? When you, who maybe aren't even paying to see that content (which is something I understand, like, dude, I'm not covered in money either), DEMAND what kind of behind the scenes content you want when I swear ABSOLUTELY NO ONE has asked you. Once again: you don't like it? You think it's some huge invasion of privacy? Don't buy it. Don't interact with it. Convince your friends to do the same. For all I care, just go and petition to boycott this kind of content. I know you won't do it, because... That's the thing, isn't it? It's not the invasion of privacy that bothers these people.

Y'all aren't mad because we get into their business or else you would have gotten real mad when we were privy to REAL private moments like people crying their hearts out.

No, no. Y'all are mad because it's "shipping content" and "fanservice" which apparently bothers you because it lacks authenticity.

Pick a side, lovelies: either you DON'T want to invade their privacy, and thus all the content they release should be focused on what fans want to see, or you WANT to know how they interact TRULY in private.

And here's the catch: "shipping content" can be anything. Shipping existed WAAAAAYYY before the word for it was invented, same way with fanfictions. Shipping means, literally, "seeing two (or more) people interact and thinking they would make a good romantic pair". That's it. That's quite literally it. Everything else is just some nuance of the concept of shipping, but at its core, it's nearly impossible to ban all shipping content when it's a group of seven people, because they should for real go in social distancing mode to do so. Most people who have parasocial relationships tend to have "ships" whether they know it or not, because we've all, at least once, looked at a dynamic from the outside and thought "oh man they look cute together". So, even if, o dear ones, your wishes were granted... What the hell do you mean by "shipping" content? Should they just film solo clips, avoiding talking about the other members? But wouldn't that be fanservice, since it's focused on pleasing the fans? (Which, ultimately, is what fanservice MEANS, and I hate to break it to y'all but the whole concept behind entertainment and thus all the content BTS releases it's... For the fans. Like, they're not going out of their way to just meet our expectations but they're certainly doing fanservice by the mere act of releasing bonus content.)

But it's not even quite that, is it? Because no one bats an eye if it's Tae kissing Nj's cheek. I've seen no hashtag against everyone - and I mean literally every one of them - wolf whistling at Nj. It's okay to show intimacy... Because they're bandmates and it's okay to be close to someone who you see basically 24/7, I hear you. And it's also okay when people see that and gush over that closeness, because it's such a nice thing to see.

Soooooo... We've got to free JK from whom exactly? From what?

Are y'all mad cause people pointed out there's very little way a bruise that stayed for a whole ass night could be a quick bite? Because that doesn't harm jk, at most makes fun of him and jimin and their poor excuses (seriously, guys, next time consider using mosquitoes or "I was doing stuff". It'll be equally embarrassing but at least the meme will be funny), and it's literally... A fair observation. Like. It's a hickey, people are gonna make jokes about seeing a hickey and poor excuses of covering it up in the exact same way they're gonna make jokes over jimin falling out of chairs. And yeah, a hickey is AT LEAST something that happens in a sensual context. Like, I could understand "people who are extremely familiar with each other will have different body language/touch in areas where usually you wouldn't see friends touching each other", but that's not. Not a hand on the thigh. It's a hickey on the neck. I don't even know a more stereotypical placing for a hickey. But once again, are y'all mad because someone is pointing it out? Because that's not being delulu or even being a shipper, really, it's just commenting on something that was approved to be shown and discussed in something that was released BY THEM.

Are y'all mad at hybe for showing something that literally fell onto their hands? Cause like, unless someone (I'm counting on Jimin, since as we know Jungkook was busy spinning him round and round and had both his hands busy) called at hybe headquarters to say "yo bang pd substitute, is it okay if I give my friend jk here a hickey? Cause he's being really annoying rn and he has to pay", I highly doubt anyone expected Jungkook to come to rehearsal all neatly marked up. Or idk, maybe someone at hybe asked them "we need Jungkook to come in with a hickey but refuse to say it's a hickey, so that fans will feel reeeeally served." That sounds perfectly plausible too. Or a good marketing strategy.

Now, if you're a big company and your objective is to have some footage of the rehearsals for a concert, and the fandom is too good at noticing stuff for their own good, and one of your artists comes in with a very visible mark, and he and his bff bropal4lyfe come n with a story about how they were playing and a bite happened, you've got three choices: 1. Cut the artist out of aaaaalll the footage. Someone would have noticed the "bite mark" anyway, you best believe that. If you don't want anyone to notice it, you gotta cut him in most of the footage where it's visible. 2. Keep the hickey, discard the explanations. You could do that, but also it would feel a lot more unfaithful to everyone involved. Also they clearly worked their ass off to invent an explanation, come on! They truly tried to do their best inventing something that was not "it's a mosquito bite", they should get some credit! 3. Keep the bite, keep the explanation.

Notice how none of these solutions include the biting never happening because... They couldn't prevent it? The only thing they have any control over is how they're framing each "accident". And that's not an easy job.

I applaud you, people on the editing team.

So... On whom should we cast the blame now? Ah, yes, I think it's finally time for the ultimate scapegoat of this fandom: Jimin. Which is funny, cause... You know... If this were really about privacy, or being "victims" of shipping... This should be about freeing him too, you know? But obviously Jimin does it for attention, while Jungkook, poor angel that he is, doesn't even know what shipping is.

Furthermore, don't we all know how much Jimin imposes himself in Jungkook's life? To the point where he, multimillionaire man feels compelled to share a car with Jimin even if they're both late in the process. And can't you see how uncomfortable he is, draping himself over Jimin, making Jimin drap himself over him?

Oh lordy, truly such an awful eight years Jungkook spent, choosing to have vacations with someone who made him uncomfortable, spending free time with him, even having to suck his ear in public to the point you can see his saliva just because Jimin was sad :( truly an all-around bad time for Jungkook, as evidenced by alllll those times when he said Jimin was pretty, cute, and all-around knowing every little thing about Jimin. I absolutely concur, the dude would be so much more happy if jimin was not in his life.

Did that sound weird and absolutely ridiculous and a really absurd joke? Because that's what y'all sound like to me. Like. Jungkook is out there living his best life, getting hickeys and showered in affection and y'all paint him as a fucking martyr??? I'm sure he's really truly desperate that Jimin holds him in such high regards 😭😭😭 I can see him suffering whenever he starts doing his own serendipity rendition 😭😭 and when he claimed you are me, I am you as his and Jimin's only 😭😭😭 I cannot believe this poor baby 😭😭😭

I've reached a point where every time I hear this stuff I laugh because the levels of twisting reality when it comes to jikook are extraordinary, Jungkook will have a literally blissed out face and people will cry in outrage.

But coming back to my point: let's pretend you're not mad at Jimin and the possibility that jikook are dating: are y'all mad... At the hickey? Because at this point it seems like the only feasible solution. And if you are, do not worry: I'm sure Jungkook's skin was throughly healed by his boo. A kiss soothes even the worst pain, doesn't it?

#jikook #that freejk dumbassery

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kuroopaisen · 3 years

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03:22 am || sugawara koushi

➵ existentialism doesn’t have to be depressing.

wc: 2292

warnings: gn!reader, philosophical talk (I’m so sorry), existentialism

a/n: sorry for rambling so much about existentialism dslfk i was doing my best to get into the 3am mindset

The stars aren’t particularly bright, but you’re grateful that you can even catch a glimpse of them. Your apartment’s balcony is only small, and you can only see so much unobstructed sky. What you can see of the constellations are bleached by the city lights, but that hasn’t dampened either yours or Suga’s desire to stargaze. The two of you cuddle up on a dingy banged-up couch, barely big enough to fit both of you. Not that either of you care.

Suga seemed particularly unphased, littering quick kisses across the side of your face.

“Koushi,” you chuckle, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Hm?” A peck to your cheek.

“Are you quite alright?”

“I’m just peachy.” A kiss to your temple.

“Do you want something?” You giggle, turning your head to look at him straight.

“Nothing,” he beams, pressing his lips to your nose.

You grin, kissing his own nose in response.

You take a moment to admire him, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek.

He looks a bit like starlight personified, all silver hair and round, bright eyes. He’s got one of those smiles that lights up his whole face, crinkling his eyes in the most endearing way.

Those kind eyes of his were one of the things that had drawn you to him at first. Initially, your intentions had been purely platonic. But how weren’t you supposed to fall in love with this boy made of starlight?

“What’re you thinking about?” You ask, smoothing a thumb over his cheek. He smiles at you, those beautiful eyes of his touched with a hint of melancholy.

“Nothing.”

“You’re thinking about something,” you smile. “You’ve got that look in your eyes.”

His eyes are kind, warm, gentle. But they’re perhaps a bit more expressive than he’d like.

Suga grins, shaking his head. “I was a fool to think I’d get anything by you, huh?”

“Good to see you’re learning your lesson,” you tease. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “I’m just… thinking about the inherent meaninglessness of life.”

You snort, but you’re not surprised. This isn’t unusual for him. “That doesn’t sound like ‘alright’.”

“Oh, but it is,” Suga grins, looking you directly in the eyes. “It’s great.”

“Why?”

“I get to do whatever I want,” Suga shrugs. “It doesn’t matter if there’s no greater meaning to any of it. I get to live my life in a way that makes me happy.”

“What makes you happy, then?” You ask, smoothing the top of his head.

“You,” he fires back immediately, a cheeky grin on his lips.

“That’s a cop-out,” you snort, poking his nose.

“I just…” He sighs, turning his gaze back to the faint stars. “I just want to do right by the people around me.”

“That’s wonderful,” you smile. There’s such beautiful sincerity in his eyes.

“It sounds cheesy,” Suga scoffs, his cheeks tinged pink.

“So?” You ask.

His blush deepens as he meets your eyes. “Well… you know…”

You’re well-aware of what the concern is, but you’ve decided to mark it down as ‘silly.’

“If you’re going to be a nihilist, you may as well be nice about it,” you shrug. “Nothing’s worse than being an asshole who’s rude to people because ‘life is meaningless’ and ‘humans are just base animals’ or whatever.”

Suga chuckles at your rather accurate impression of a man in a first-year philosophy degree.

“Just don’t start quoting Nietzsche at me,” you grin.

“I would never,” Suga scoffs. “It’s gotta be Kierkegaard.”

“Wasn’t he just… really sad?” You ask, tilting your head at him.

“He hated democracy.”

“He did?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Suga shrugs. “I dunno. I just know he did.”

You giggle, shaking your head. “Good to see you’ve been paying attention in class.”

“Look,” Suga raises a hand, “I found that out when I was just scouring the net, okay?”

“Mhm…”

“Philosophy is supposed to make you think about life, not some guy’s opinion on democracy, okay?” Suga grins.

“You have to write a dialogue, right?” You ask. You remember him telling you about it, but you can’t quite recall what he’s actually supposed to do.

He nods. “Yeah.”

“Are you arguing with Nietzsche?”

He laughs. “Not sure yet.”

“I think you should,” you hum. “I’d laugh.”

“I can’t believe my assignment is basically me writing fanfiction about me and Diogenes hanging out,” he grins.

“Actually yeah, write about him,” you snort. “I, too, would like to find an honest man.”

Suga chuckles. “Unfortunately, that’s not gonna help me get a good mark.”

“You’re going to get a good mark,” you say, pouting at him. “You always do.”

“Bold of you to put that much confidence in me,” he scoffs. “I haven’t even started writing it yet.”

“Have you planned it out?”

“Kind of?”

“Well, what’s your key argument?” You ask. You enjoy talking to him like this; unpicking his brain, finding out what he thought about the world. He always had something interesting to say, a thought to share about life in general.

“I mean…” Suga sighs. “I always sorta figured that if life doesn’t inherently mean anything, then we’ve got a choice, right?”

“A choice?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you mean?” You shift yourself in his lap, your legs now dangling over the armrest.

Suga pauses, pressing his lips together for a moment. “Well… you’re not morally beholden to anyone, right?”

“Uh huh…” You nod slowly.

“So… why wouldn’t you want to choose to do the kind thing? It’s not hard.”

You bite your lip. “But if you’re not ‘morally beholden’ to anyone, then what’s the point of being kind?”

“You know… it’s the decent thing to do.” He raises an eyebrow at you. “And it feels good.”

“But why?”

“Do you disagree with me?”

“No,” you laugh, shaking your head. “I’m just trying to help you solidify your argument.”

“Ah, playing devil’s advocate, I see,” he grins.

You flick him in the forehead gently. “How dare you.”

“I’m just waiting for you to destroy me with facts and logic,” he teases, grinning at you. His eyes are much brighter now, twinkling with mirth.

“Well,” you smile, running your fingers through his hair. “Presuming I did destroy you with facts and logic, then what would you say in response?”

“Okay,” Suga sits up a little straighter, a determined glint in his eyes. “You know the whole ‘existence precedes essence’ thing, right?”

“Kind of?”

“Well, the basic principle is that we exist before anything else,” he begins. “That sounds obvious, but what it’s trying to get at is that our consciousness exists before anything else. There is no ‘essential nature’ to any of us.”

“Right,” you nod.

“So, we create our own values, our own meanings, because we don’t have any inherently,” he continues. “We have to make them ourselves, and that’s how we give our existence significance.”

You hum in response.

“A lot of people get kind of down if they believe there’s no inherent meaning to life, but that just means there so much more freedom. And there’s power in that freedom.”

“What do you mean, exactly?” You ask. You’ve had these sorts of conversations before, but he’s been getting better and better at articulating himself. If anything, he seems relieved by it.

“The essential meaninglessness of life isn’t a burden, it’s a chance to define ourselves and where we want to go,” he continues.

“Mhm,” you nod, paying him the attention he deserves.

“We may be meaningless in the grand scheme of the universe, but that means we’re free.”

“How so?” You ask.

He considers your question for a moment, a tiny pout on his lips. “We’re not inherently ‘good,’ but we’re not inherently ‘selfish’ either. We get to choose.”

“Right,” you nod. “But… won’t some people find that overwhelming?”

“What do you mean?” He asks.

“Isn’t that just the whole absurdity thing?” You’re trying to find the right words, to call on all the concepts you remember him telling you about. You may be no philosophy student, but you know Suga won’t judge. “You know, the… the contradiction between finding meaning and purpose in an inherently chaotic and meaningless world?”

“Oh, right,” he nods. “Well… the absurd itself isn’t the problem, per se. If anything, one of the best things you can do is to accept that absurdity, even if it’s difficult.”

“Yes, life is absurd,” he stresses. “Yes, it can be hard to find the motivation to press on when you feel that life is meaningless.”

You wonder, for a moment, if he’s speaking from experience.

“The idea is that you live on in-spite of that,” he smiles. “It’s like a big middle finger to a universe that doesn’t care about you.”

“So… by deciding what matters to you is a way of biting back at a world that doesn’t care?”

“Exactly!” He beams. “Freedom means we create our own meanings, and can find satisfaction in our lives by figuring out what we really want and how we feel we should live best,” he continues. “And it means that instead of having to worry about our ‘inherent, essential goodness’, we get to define ourselves by our actions -- people can claim that humans are inherently selfish, but we’re not.”

He’s glowing now, eyes shining and cheeks bright. He really is beautiful. And good. So, so good.

“Because neither behaviour is encoded in us, we’re responsible for the choices we make. We choose to be cruel, or we choose to be kind. We can choose to be good.”

“And you think most people would do that?” You ask.

“I’m not naive,” he sighs, “but I do think most people would want to do right by others. Not all. But most.”

He takes a deep breath, looking to the sky once more. You follow his gaze upwards.

“I just…” His voice is quiet now, almost as if he’s praying. “We’re all thrown into this absurd world, and we can make it easier for one another.”

You press a gentle kiss to his temple, your heart feeling fuzzier than ever.

Suga looks at you with the gentlest smile, a bright spark in his eyes. “We can bear the burden of the human condition together and show each other compassion.”

You run a hand through his hair, massaging his scalp with the tips of your fingers.

He closes his eyes and leans into your touch, still smiling. “And the way I see it… if there’s no inherent meaning or purpose to the way things are, then there’s no reason to succumb to suffering.”

“That’s a bit bold of you,” you chuckle.

“I’m not saying that suffering is unavoidable or anything, but I mean, like…” He frowns, trying to unpick the implications of his own words. “Of course, there’ll be things you can’t escape and things that’ll fucking suck. I just mean that... You don’t have to do anything. In that sense, you can pursue what you want to pursue, prioritise the things that make you happy…”

“I see.”

“I’m not saying that life’s a free-for-all either. Like, I’m not saying that it’s okay for people to be awful to each other,” he continues. “And I understand that the world we live in places limits on us and what we can conceivably do…”

“What, like the… struggling artist thing?” You clarify.

“Yeah,” he nods. “I know that it’s not that simple and everything won’t work out just because you want it to. I just think… if it makes you happy then… then it’s worth a try.”

He sits back in the chair, sinking into the cushions. “But… I don’t know,” he sighs. “It’s hard to articulate.”

“That’s okay,” you smile. “You’re making sense to me.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Unfortunately, I’m not sure if my tutors have that same insight into my brain.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” you giggle, shifting yourself in his lap. “Can you think of a good one-liner?” You ask, tilting your head at him.

“Hm…” He muses for a moment, tilting his head upwards. “At the end of the day, I just think that… we have a choice to be kind. Why wouldn’t you be?”

You laugh. “Why would you say something so brave and yet so controversial?”

“Isn’t that meme outdated now?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I can never keep up with what the young people are doing these days.”

He snorts. “What are you, seventy-two?”

“In body, no,” you shake your head. “But in spirit?”

“Great, I’m dating a geriatric.”

“You knew this going into it,” you giggle. “I’ve just been burdened with age. There’s no space in my heart for optimism anymore.”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” Suga grins, gazing at you fondly.

“I like that about you,” you smile, smoothing a thumb over his cheek.

“I just think that there’s a lot of good out there if you look for it,” he shrugs, his words earnest and sincere. “I know the world isn’t that simple and that there’s plenty of horrible things too, but…” He chews his lip, eyes softening as he once again looking to the sky. “I want to contribute to the world as best as I can.”

You watch him as he watches the stars. You wonder if he knows he’s the brightest amongst them. If he knows how much joy and light, he’s brought to everyone who’s had the privilege of loving him. It’s a gift to be counted amongst them.

You’ve been told that people are made of stardust, but Suga makes you believe it.

You lean in and press a gentle kiss to his cheek, letting the warmth in your chest diffuse through your body. “I love you.”

He smiles at you, and you’re sure he can outshine the moon.

“I love you too.”

#suga x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara koushi x you #sugawara x you #suga x you #haikyuu x reader #fluffvember 2020

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duskowithapen · 4 years

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Of Flowers And Tattoo Needles Chapter Three

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A Resolution

“Don’t you dare tell her, bug!”

Luka wasn’t sure what the hell was going on. Adrien had walked into the tattoo parlour proper, standing toe to toe with his fiancée, having a full argument in front of them. If Adrien is in a relationship with this Kagami, then what was up with the pet names and the forehead kiss?

“Why are you so intent on keeping this a secret?!” Kagami demanded, waving her rapier under the blonde’s nose threateningly.

“I wanted it to be a surprise!”

“You know that I hate surprises!”

“But this is a good surprise, I promise!”

“Adrien, I swear if you got a dragon tattooed onto your chest I will do something drastic!”

“C’mon Kagami, like Marinette would let me get something so obvious-OH-GODS-DON’T-IMPALE-ME—”

Much to Juleka’s displeasure – she was watching the argument with one of her signature ‘ah yes, chaos’ smirks – Marinette intervened before blood could be shed. “Maybe we could all calm down and talk this out like rational, non-violent human beings. I don’t think bloodstains will do anything for my shop’s reputation.” She pressed a hand to her hip and started Adrien down. “Unless you want to keep playing the scaredy cat, chaton?”

Adrien’s mouth dropped open. A hand was held dramatically to his chest. “So cruel m’lady!”

Kagami huffed and lowered her weapon, turning to give Marinette a bow. “My apologies, Mari-hime. I shall eviscerate him outside.”

“Let’s just not eviscerate anyone, hmm?” Marinette sighed.

The pout that appeared on Kagami’s face made Rose giggle, and it seemed to remind the swordswoman that yes, there were other people in the store. In the back corner, while the redhead was intent on his work, the client was watching them. Kagami bowed again. “I did not realise you had other clients, Mari-hime. Was this a bad time?”

Marinette waved a hand towards the couches. “It’s okay, Gami-chan. I was about to get Luka’s tattoo started, but I should probably help my idiot of a best frien before he gets himself killed.” Adrien visibly wilted at the look Marinette gave him. She turned an apologetic smile onto Luka, and he blinked at the full force of those beautiful bluebell eyes focusing completely on him. “Are you okay if I postpone your tattoo for a little bit? I promise this won’t take too long.”

Luka shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. He was really missing his guitar now. “I’m fine with that. You’re not the only one wanting to know about someone’s tattoo,” he directed at Kagami, who hummed questioningly. “My sister and her partner have been pestering me about my tattoo all morning.”

“See!” Adrien burst out, “Keeping your tattoo secret until it’s finished is normal Kagami!”

A loud clap stopped the argument from restarting. “Alright! If everyone could just sit down, we can get this cleared up,” Marinette said in a tone that demanded total obedience. There was a glint in her eyes that suggested great violence on those who did not comply.

Luka was very lucky that he was standing in front of one of the couches in the first place. That tone of voice, that look on her face… he dared any man not to get a bit weak in the knees.

“Sounds like a plan,” Juleka murmured as she brushed past, shooting him an uncomfortably knowing look as she sat by Rose’s side. “Considering that Luka thought you and Adrien were together. Care to explain how he could have come to that conclusion?”

There was a moment of silence. Luka and Marinette’s faces flared up in identical blushes. Adrien’s face reddened slowly as he bit his lip. Kagami’s eyebrows rose past her fringe. In the back corner, the client was still watching like the whole situation was a soap drama.

Then laughter.

Luka’s head snapped up as Kagami of all people started giggling, stern face crinkling into a smile as she tried to smother her amusement behind one fist. Adrien finally took a breath, losing his battle with the laughter he’d been restraining. His tugged his fiancée down onto the other couch with him. “Oh god, really?!”

Marinette dropped into the seat beside Luka, face hidden behind her hands. He leaned in a little. “I feel like I’m missing something?” He said lowly.

A blush still stained her face when Marinette looked up. Despite their closeness, she didn’t shift away. “Just a little, yeah,” she replied hoarsely. “I just feel so stupid. There I was, practically throwing myself at you, and you seemed interested, and then Adrien walks in, and oh god, you must have thought I was some floozy, that I was flirting with you despite having a boyfriend – which we’re not by the way, I swear I’d never cheat on you – I mean, if we were together I wouldn’t cheat – not that I’d cheat on Adrien if we were together, which again, we aren’t – but I wouldn’t have said those things or done anything if I was with someone else, but you didn’t know that, and ugh it’s all just a great big fucking mess –” Marinette stopped with a sudden inhale as Luka pressed a finger to her lips.

“It’s okay, Marinette,” he whispered, ignoring their avid audience. “I admit, I was confused, but I figured I could try and clear it up today anyway. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d made a wrong assumption,” he said with a self-depreciating chuckle, “I’ve never been all that good with people. I find it easier to communicate through my music than anything else.”

Marinette opened her mouth to reply, and Luka had to restrain a shiver at the feeling of soft lips against his guitar calluses. “I really am sorry, Luka. I keep forgetting how mine and Adrien’s… dynamic can be seen by other people.” She paused for a moment, looking away, before continuing, “And I think you communicate pretty well like this. Better than my anxiety-fuelled rambling anyway.”

Luka leaned in a little closer, drawing his finger down her chin and barely brushing her neck before pulling it away. “I thought it was kinda adorable,” he whispered.

Adrien coughed, pulling the two out of their haze. “Uh, I just wanted to apologise, Luka. I’m a very touchy-feely kinda person, and I keep forgetting that not everyone, y’know, hugs and kisses and just generally touch their friends as much as I do. I was… isolated as a kid, and I never really got the concept of personal space.” Now, didn’t that sound concerning?

He waved a hand at the nervous looking blonde. “That’s okay Adrien. I can get a bit touchy too – I shouldn’t have made assumptions. People have thought the same thing about Juleka and I before.” That had made for a very awkward conversation as they explained to the landlady no, they weren’t teenage lovers, but siblings who had decided to move in together.

“It’s all the nicknames,” Juleka said with a smirk, “Wasn’t it your dad you asked if he needed to design two wedding dresses, Adrien?”

Marinette groaned deeply and twisted to bury her face in Luka’s shoulder, hand grasping his jacket just in front of her face. “Don’t remind me,” she said, words half-muffled, “I can’t look Mr Agreste in the eye anymore!”

“Out of curiosity, where did the nicknames come from?” Luka asked, trying to keep a straight face as he wrapped an arm around Marinette’s waist, holding her to his side. Based on Juleka’s fake retch, he wasn’t very successful.

It was Adrien’s turn to blush, as he grabbed Kagami’s hand. “Well, like I said, I was an isolated kid. The only kind of unsupervised social interaction I got was when I played Ultimate Mecha Strike online. When I was thirteen, I met a player called Buginette03 – who tuned out to be Marinette – and we got pretty close, despite not sharing our real names. I’d ask Bug for advice when it came to my father, or later on, social stuff, and then she’d ask me for help when her anxiety spiked, or she started catastrophising.”

“And he’d use me as a sounding board for his awful pickup lines,” Marinette cut in, finally pulling her head away from Luka’s arm. It suddenly felt very cold. “You are such a cat-ch is a horrible excuse of both a line and a pun.”

“Hey! It worked with Kagami, didn’t it?”

Both Marinette and Kagami rolled their eyes. “Obviously, she took pity on you, kitty,” the tattooist said, deadpan.

“I found your determination in finding a successful line pitiful enough to be amusing.” Was Kagami’s response.

“Meowch!” Adrien said, insulted. “So cruel, ganging up on a poor cat!”

Marinette rolled her eyes and turned to face Luka properly. “Anyway, after almost a years worth of playing with each other and chatting, we decided to… reveal ourselves, I guess? I was so surprised when I realised that the snarky, goofy LostKittenOnTheCatwalk was actually in my class.”

Adrien slapped Kagami gently when she scoffed at his username. “Hey, I thought it was funny! I was thirteen!” He shook his head for a second. “But yeah, I was both surprised but not when I found out that Marinette was Buginette. Like, once I knew, I wondered how I could have thought it was anyone else.”

“We tried to date for a little bit,” Marinette said, taking up the narrative. “We thought that it was a ‘meant to be’ kind of thing, but it didn’t really work out.”

“We’re partners, but not? We work better as close friends, or siblings, rather than lovers,” Adrien looked at Marinette with a small smile. “I’m just glad that Marinette chose to remain friends with me. Probably not her smartest move,” he said with a shrug, “But oh well.”

Kagami flicked Adrien in the shoulder as Marinette pulled a pencil out nowhere and threw it. “Don’t get started on that again, chaton,” The tattooist said sternly. “We were both young, and stupid, and made you, stupid mistakes that we both learned from. And I will get Kagami to bash that into your thick head if I have to!”

Adrien waggled his eyebrows halfheartedly. “Not wanting to bruise me up yourself, m’lady?”

Marinette’s response was a raised eyebrow and crossed arms. “I think I’ll leave that dubious honour to Kagami. Besides, I already got to stab you.”

“Indeed,” Kagami said with a frown, “I am still waiting for an explanation of your tattoo, Adrien.”

“Well-look-at-the-time-gotta-GO!” Adrien was on his feet in an instant, sprinting out of the store. “See-ya-later-guys-bye!”

Kagami followed suit with a low bow, a murmur on how nice it was to meet them all, and then she was gone, smirk crossing her lips and sword held firmly in one hand. Luka wasn’t sure if he should be worried about Adrien’s safety or not.

His attention was pulled away when Marinette patted his arm. “They’ll be alright,” she soothed, “Kagami’s been stressing out over a fencing competition for a while, so Adrien’s been drawing out the whole ‘no you can’t see what my tattoo is’ thing so that she’ll actually take a break. Pretty sure this is the first time she’s left the dojo for something other than food or sleep for a week.”

“What is Adrien’s tattoo?” Rose asked, leaning forward.

“I’ve still got the concept page, if you’ll just give me a moment…” Marinette jumped up and rifled through her desk, returning with a thick, tattered at the edges sketchbook. She flicked it open to a drawing of a curled up dragon the size of Luka’s palm. It was Chinese style – all long body, short legs, fur crest running down it’s length, flowing whiskers – in various shades of black and red. The crest was a pale shade of yellow, contrasting with the dark gold underbelly. Lighter gold made up the claws and teeth. The eyes were, surprisingly, a rather normal brown. The dragon was curled into a circle, with it’s jaw open. Interestingly, it wasn’t breathing fire, but rather a stream of what appeared to be wind, portrayed in curling lines of grey that created clouds around the dragon. Scattered throughout were tiny gold stars.

“It’s beautiful, Marinette,” Luka breathed, glancing up at the blushing artist. “You’re incredibly skilled.”

Her stammers were covered up by Rose’s squeals. “It’s so detailed Marinette! I take it that the dragon is meant to be Kagami?”

“Ye-yeah. It’s inspired by a story about the dragon of the stars, which was one of Kagami’s favourite when she was little, and Adrien wanted to have it curled up over his heart to show how she both owns his heart and protects it – thus the clouds and kina scary expression.” Marinette traced over the drawing slowly. “Definitely one of my best works.”

“Just one of your best?” Luka asked lowly.

When Marinette looked up, a blush still tinted her cheeks, but there was a determined spark in her eye. “Yeah. There’s this messy haired florist who’s getting my best tattoo at some point, if he still has time to have it done?”

“I’m all yours Marinette.” And oh, how Luka hoped he could make that literal.

“Well, that’s our cue to leave,” Juleka said with a smirk, grasping a protesting Rose by the shoulders and pushing her towards the door. “I expect progress photo, big brother!”

He just waved a hand in her direction, not taking his eyes off Marinette’s. “Yeah, yeah, I will, you impatient brat.”

When the door shut behind them, Marinette extended one ink-stained hand. “So. Ready to get stabbed?”

Luka took it. “By you? Always.”

A few days later, after tattoos were drawn, inked, admired, wrapped and cared for, Luka appeared outside Charmed Ink. In his hands was a large bouquet of flowers – Pink orchids, larkspur, daffodils, cherry blossoms, blue morning glories and hyacinths. In the very centre was a single lilac.

For love beginning.

#miraculous ladybug fanfiction #of flowers and tattoo needles #lukanette #marinette dupain cheng #luka couffaine #marinette x luka #tattoo artist/florist au #tattoo artist marinette

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smutfanfictionlover-blog · 4 years

Text

THE BOYZ ONE-SHOT SMUT TRICK VER. TRICK 1. SUNWOO - MAKE EYE CONTACT

WARNING: DETAILED SMUT SCENES AND FOUL LANGUAGE AHEAD!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: My gosh! Thinking this scenario makes me scream haha! I hope you like it! But I am sorry if it's a long one-shot smut fanfiction. By the way, this Trick version collection will be a continuous fan- idol series meaning they will be having different ways of choosing a fan to do their tricks :)

Y/N has a friend named Aejin who is a fan of The Boyz, but Y/N has other groups that she likes and her friend keeps showing her the videos to her so, that she will be a fan of them. Then there was one-time Aejin went to her house…

“Y/N! The Boyz will be having a comeback! " Aejin said.

“Oh! That’s great! Did they already have the video teasers or photo concept?” Y/N asked.

"Yup! They are very handsome and hot on their released photos and teasers!" Aejin said then she showed a video of one of the recent teaser videos of The Boyz and Y/N was amazed and can't take eyes off in each member.

“So, who did you notice the most?” Aejin asked.

“It’s Sunwoo! But they were all handsome and hot as hell! ” Y/N said and Aejin laughed at her.

“I know! We really should wait for their come back!” Aejin said and Y/N nodded and smiled at her. In the Boyz’s dorm, the members are thinking what they can do for their fans…

“Do you have any suggestions or ideas that we can do for our fans?” Sangyeon asked.

“I am thinking if we can do the things that we can do what assigned tricks to us in the video. Don’t you think?” Kevin said.

"That's an interesting idea, Kevin!" Eric said.

“But it depends on how we will gonna show to our fans right?” Sunwoo asked.

"Yup! Also, I think it will be our decision on how we will choose our lucky fan to show our tricks to them." Hyunjae said.

“You’re right Hyunjae! We can start from the first trick.” Sangyeon said.

“Oh! I will be the first one huh?” Sunwoo said and smirked.

"Yup! Then the rest of us will think of our fan contest on how can we choose our lucky fan.” Hyunjae said.

“Ok! I think I have something in my mind right now.” Sunwoo said.

“That’s great! You can do it whatever you want Sunwoo.” Sangyeon said and Sunwoo nodded and winked at them and the members laughed at him. Then going back to Y/N who is randomly watching other videos, suddenly there was an announcement from The Boyz and it was from Sunwoo and they were excited because Sunwoo will have his surprise fan contest but he didn’t tell what will be and he just told them that prepare for their phones and he will do it in the next few minutes.

"OMG! I am excited about his surprise fan contest!" Y/N said.

“ I hope one of us will experience the surprise fan contest of Sunwoo!" Aejin said. Then while they are waiting for Sunwoo to start the event, Y/N is going to the bathroom but someone wants to have a video call with her, and as she accepted it was…

THEIR CONVERSATION:

Y/N: OMG! SUNWOO!

Sunwoo: Hi! You are Hwang Y/N, right?

Y/N: Yes! I didn’t expect you will have a sudden video call to fan for your surprise fan contest randomly. But I think you had a bad timing and I am in a bathroom right now.

Sunwoo: Oh! I am sorry!

Y/N: but don't worry this will be quick! Wait for a while.

Sunwoo: Ok!

Then while Y/N is fixing herself, she didn’t notice that she placed her phone facing the mirror and her reflection was showing her whole body that made Sunwoo shocked.

“I shouldn’t have seen that! But she didn’t do it on purpose, right? I should calm down!" Sunwoo thought. Then as she finished fixing herself, she went out of the bathroom and continued to have a video call with Sunwoo.

Y/N: It’s all set now Sunwoo! *smiled at him*

Sunwoo: That’s great! *tries to have a smiled at her*

Y/N: Is there something wrong Sunwoo? You seem to be blushed haha!

Sunwoo: Huh? Don't mind me! Oh, I almost forgot, I think you saw our recent video, right?

Y/N: Yup! You were the first person in the video.

Sunwoo: That’s great! Did you remember what trick I have in the video?

Y/N: Make eye contact, right?

Sunwoo: That's right! Because of that, you should win in making eye contact with me for 15 seconds and if you won then I will have a surprise gift for you.

Y/N: Oh! Isn't that long to have eye contact even though we are in a video call?

Sunwoo: You can do this Y/N! *winked at her*

As Sunwoo winked at her, she blushed and…

Y/N: Ok! I will try my best Sunwoo!

Sunwoo: Ok! We will start now! *smiles at her and Y/N smiled at back at him*

As they started to make eye contact, Y/N tried to compose herself to win in his challenge but as time goes by, she noticed something and that was, he was suddenly licked his thick lips.

"Why does he do that? This is killing me inside!" Y/N thought and still having an eye contact contest with him and when the fifteen seconds was finished, Y/N breathed deeply.

Sunwoo: You did great Y/N! Because of that, the special gift will be delivered to you tomorrow!

Y/N: OMG! Can you tell me what special gift are you going to give me?

Sunwoo: I will not tell you Y/N! Just wait for it! I hope you enjoy your day and having eye contact with me. *winked at her*

Y/N: You are making me blush Sunwoo! But ok! I will wait for it and thanks for choosing me!

Sunwoo: No problem! Just prepare for yourself tomorrow! I have to go and we still have to practice.

Y/N: Ok! Take care and be safe Sunwoo! I love you!

Sunwoo: Ok! Bye! Take care too and I love you too! *makes a heart in his hands*

END OF CONVERSATION.

"Gosh! I am getting excited about what special gift he will give to me." Y/N said and smiled at herself. Then the next day, Sunwoo is going somewhere and his co-members noticed it.

"Where are you going Sunwoo? We will have practice later." Changmin said.

"Don't worry I will come back here before our practice starts. Just tell them I will buy something," Sunwoo said.

"Ok! We will wait for you in the building." Changmin said and Sunwoo nodded. Then as for Y/N who is waiting for the gift, someone rang the doorbell and she went out and as she opened the door, Y/N was shocked and a smiling Sunwoo is in front of her.

"Are you Kim Sunwoo?" Y/N said and covered her mouth from being shock.

"Yes, I am! You might want me to go inside your house, right?" Sunwoo said.

“Oh yeah! Let’s go inside.” Y/N said and both of them went inside her house.

“Are you leaving alone?” Sunwoo asked.

“Yup! Sometimes my friend is hanging out with me here but for today she will not be here” Y/N said.

“Oh! That’s great! I can have some moment with you today before I go back with the members since we have practice later.” Sunwoo said and winked at her and Y/N blushed.

“Oh! What are you going to do here before you go back?” Y/N asked and then suddenly Sunwoo is smirking at her and staring at her as he went closer to her…

"I don't know why he is looking at me like that!" Y/N said and walked backward.

"Why are you walking backward Y/N? Are you scared?" Sunwoo asked and smirked at again then suddenly Y/N was pinned in the wall and she didn't look at him and lifted her chin.

"Why are you suddenly like this Sunwoo? I don't understand." Y/N said and he leaned to her ear and…

“Don’t you know that yesterday when you are in the bathroom having a video call with me, the reflection of your body is showing in the mirror? You did it on purpose, right?” Sunwoo said and bites her ears and slightly moaned at his actions and suddenly get weak.

“Shit! I didn’t notice that he saw it all!” Y/N thought.

“I didn’t do it on purpose Sunwoo!”Y/N said and blushed.

“I understand Y/N. But today I won’t stop myself to have you.” Sunwoo said. "Wait! Sunwoo---" Y/N was cut-off when he kissed her passionately and then when she tried to push him, Sunwoo pulled her waist tight to him and she felt something in her lower and it was his bulge.

"Shit! I didn't imagine this day I will be giving my virginity!" Y/N thought and her thoughts were cut-off when he grinds his bulge to her and she moaned in the kiss that made Sunwoo had a chance to slip his tongue on her and she let Sunwoo explore her mouth. Then after making-out they pulled-out and Sunwoo held her hand then both of them went into her bedroom and pushed her in the bed and he removed all his clothes and Y/N was shocked and her jaw was dropped at the scenery she is seeing today.

"OMG! He will wreck me today!" Y/N thought and Sunwoo smirked at her reactions.

“Are you gonna just stare me like that? Shall I help you remove your clothes?” Sunwoo said and winked at her and Y/N blushed but she just nodded and he helped her removed her clothes and Y/N covered her body but Sunwoo shoved away her hands.

"Don't cover it, ok? You're perfect and sexy! No need to be insecure Y/N." Sunwoo said and kissed her passionately and laid her in the bed and his kisses went to her neck and jaw and he licks and bites that made Y/N moaned into his actions. Then he went to her breast, he licks and sucks her breast and massages the other.

“Ugh! Ah! Ah! Sunwoo! Ugh!” Y/N moaned.

“I like the way you moan my name Y/N!” Sunwoo said and he suddenly bites her nipple that made Y/N moaned louder. Then he kisses every inch of her body and as he reached Y/N’s core, he licks it and sucks it.

“UGH! SUNWOO! UGH! AH! AH! MORE!” Y/N moaned and Sunwoo smirked at her and he suddenly sucked it roughly and inserted two fingers and pumped it at a fast pace.

"SHIT! SUNWOO! YES! AH! AH! UGH! AH!" Y/N moaned and gripped the bedsheets and curled her toes. Then as he continued eating her out at a rough pace…

“SUNWOO! I WILL CUM ANY MOMENT! SHIT! UGH! AH! AH!” Y/N moaned.

"You can cum Y/N!" Sunwoo said and in a few minutes, she cums in his mouth.

“So tasty Y/N! “ Sunwoo said and licked his lips and fingers and she just blushed.

“Umm… Sunwoo I want to tell you I am a virgin.” Y/N said and Sunwoo and smiled at her.

“Don’t worry Y/N, I will be gentle at first but if you want me to go rough. Just tell me!” Sunwoo said and she nodded then he put a condom in his cock and kissed her and slowly inserted his cock to her that made Y/N gripped his arms.

“OH SHIT! FUCK! SUNWOO! UGH! AH! AH!IT HURTS! AH!” Y/N screamed in pain.

"Don't worry Y/N, you will like it later," Sunwoo said and kissed her neck to distract from her pain. Then in a few minutes, she already adjusted to his size.

“Sunwoo you can move now!” Y/N said then Sunwoo thrust his cock to her at a fast pace.

“SHIT! YOU’RE SO TIGHT! OH YES! AH! AH!” Sunwoo moaned.

“OH! FUCK! MORE! SUNWOO! AH! AH! UGH!” Y/N moaned and his pace suddenly went faster and harder then he cupped her face and…

“Y/N, MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME! I WANT TO SEE HOW YOU ENJOY THIS WITH ME!" Sunwoo said and he still has a faster and harder pace.

“SHIT! SUNWOO! YES! UGH! AH! YOU’RE SO GOOD AT THIS! UGH!” Y/N moaned and tried to look at him.

“YOU FEEL SO AMAZING! AH! UGH! YES! FUCK!” Sunwoo moaned and he just decided to go rough on her.

“SHIT! FUCK! SUNWOO! YESSS! UGH! AH! AH!” Y/N screamed in the top of her lungs and arched her back from the intense pleasure she felt and her nails dug on Sunwoo’s back.

“SHIT! I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF YOU Y/N! FUCK! YES!” Sunwoo moaned.

“SUNWOO! I WILL CUM! SHIT! UGH! AH! AH!” Y/N said.

“CUM WITH ME Y/N! UGH! AH! AH!” Sunwoo said and in a few minutes, both of them cum. Then he removed the condom and laid beside her.

“How do you feel my special gift to you Y/N?” Sunwoo said and smiled at him.

“My gosh! How can he do that from being wild then going back to a cute boy!” Y/N thought.

"I am shocked that we did it. But it's worth it." Y/N said and smiled back and he kissed her lips. Then someone called him and it was Haknyeon.

“Wait! I will answer the call ok?” Sunwoo said and Y/N nodded.

“Sunwoo! Where the hell are you? We are going to practice now!” Haknyeon said.

“Haknyeon, tell them that I will go there later. I am now with a fan.” Sunwoo said.

“Ok! I will tell them!” Haknyeon said. Then he went back to Y/N.

“You have a practice today, right?” Y/N said.

"Yup! Don't worry I told them I will go there later. I am kinda tired too and also, don't worry I will go back here again. I want to date you too." Sunwoo said and winked at her.

“Are you sure about that?” Y/N said.

"Yes! I am sure of it! I love you Y/N!" Sunwoo said and smiled at her.

“I love you too Sunwoo!” Y/N said and smiled back and he kissed her lips and they cuddled each other while they are going to sleep.

끝 THE END

Thank you for reading my one-shot smut trick version fan fiction of THE BOYZ’S SUNWOO!

Stay tuned for the next member! :)

고마워요 여러분! (Thanks, Everyone!)

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earth-ambassador-jim · 4 years

Text

Lost Souls: Story 7

Nowhere to go but Forward

~~~~

Lost Souls Summary: Merlin awakens early from his sleep. He decides that he doesn’t want to leaving anything to chance and kidnaps the young James Lake Jr. to began training his Trollhunter as early as possible.

Barbara is determined to hunt down the man who kidnapped her son. In her efforts to get her son back she finds a strange old radio that speaks to her in a woman’s voice. The radio leads her to an underground society of shapeshifters.

Mother and son meet again years later as strangers on opposing sides.

AO3 -Fanfiction

~~~~

Barbara listens half-heartedly as the meeting drones on. Spy movies really put too much glamor on the concept of secret societies. An organization is still an organization whether it is made up of middle aged salary men or centuries old shapeshifters. And unfortunately that means that they have to deal with things like supplies and delegation of manpower and paperwork. The major difference in is that if she allows herself to stop paying attention the backstabbing will be much more literal.

“What is your opinion, Dr. Lake?”

Barbara raises her eyes from the point in space she’d been watching to meet the gaze of her ex-boyfriend. Walt –Or she supposes she ought to call him Walter now: Strickler or Stricklander don’t feel right and she can’t say Waltolomew and keep a straight face.- Walter is giving her a rather smug eyebrow raise like he thinks she won’t be able to answer. He has been rather testy ever since she took over his position.

“I think that we need to focus more on laying our communications groundwork,” Barbara says after making a show of thinking about it. “We all know that Gunmar will not want to be kept waiting when he comes to the surface and we can’t have nuclear bombs being shot at us, so the normal modes of communication will have to be the first thing we hit. We’ve started relying a little too much on human means for our own infrastructure in the past centuries.”

She says “we” as if she herself is centuries old and not human. It’s almost laughable how sometimes she still feels like a sheep supping with wolves despite how much she’s changed.

Some of the assembled changelings nod at her point, some just watch silently. The secretary takes notes.

The rest of the meeting proceeds in much the same way. There’s always a feeling of walking a knife edge at meetings. Barbara may be the mouthpiece of Morgana, who is a god to the changelings, but if she can’t prove her strength and cunning on her own, she won’t last long.

When the meeting finally wraps up the changelings depart out of the room from the lowest ranking to the highest. Walter and Barbara hold eye contact for a long moment. She sees just the faintest glow of yellow in his eyes and allows a glint of volatile blue to flicker in her own in response.

He tenses and looks away, chin tilting up ever so slightly despite the clear resentment that is evident in the curl of his lips.

She watches silently as he leaves. The door closes and she lets out a breath and her shoulders slump. She isn’t quite done yet -she still has to report back to Morgana- but she just wants a moment to breathe.

Her head aches from keeping up with the constant scheming and swirling agendas that are present at any Janus Order meeting. That and…

And she still misses her relationship with Walt. They’d already been strained after she found out the truth about changelings but once she had taken over his position they’d truly split. She knew as well as he did that if their positions had been flipped he’d have done the same, but it didn’t make it less cruel for him.

And it didn’t make his bitter resentment and verbal stabs any less painful for her.

She misses having someone to talk to and just be herself around. A memory of the odd meeting in the rain flickers through her mind.

“Everyone needs friends…”

That is what she had told the Trollhunter then.

Perhaps she should take her own advice.

~~~~

Barbara sits in her car in the driveway for a whole hour before she works up the courage to walk up to the front door. This house was once as familiar as her own but now it’s been years since she last visited. Knocking takes her another ten minutes.

There’s a series of soft thumps and the door opens. The elderly lady stares at her before adjusting her glasses as if she can’t quite believe what she’s seeing. The light of the late evening sun glints off the thick round lenses.

“Barbara?” She says finally.

“Hi Nancy,” Barbara responds.

Her lips twitch into an uncomfortable smile as she tries to remember how to deal with normal social niceties. Nancy beams back in response.

“I can’t believe it’s you! What brings you back to Arcadia after all this time?”

Barbara doesn’t tell her that she technically still lives here. No one, or at least no one from her old life, knows. It’s easier that way.

“I’m just going to be in the neighborhood for a while and thought that I’d visit… You aren’t busy are you?”

Nancy steps out of the doorway gesturing with a hand to invite her inside.

“Of course not! Come in. Come in! I just finished a fresh batch of cookies.”

“Thank you.”

Barbara enters and finds that her old neighbors place hasn’t changed much in the time she’s been gone.

The two of them settle down in the comfy couches in the living room. The elderly lady pours a cup of tea for each of them and sets a plate of cookies out on the table.

“So how is Toby?” Barbara asks. “He’s in high school now right?”

Jim would have been in high school. He’d be fifteen now…

Like the Trollhunter.

A flash of blue eyes set in a slighter darker blue face flash through her mind. Her heart aches.

“He’s doing well,” Nancy says, interrupting her thoughts. “But he’s always been a bit quiet since…”

She doesn’t have to clarify. Jim’s kidnapping hit him hard too. There’s a moment of silence before she straightens up and goes on.

“He has Darci and they stick together. It sounds like now that they’re in high school she’s been able to introduce him to some more of her friends. She’s really such a dear.”

“Darci?” Barbara asks. She swirls her tea around in the mug and breaths in the smell. Like everything else it’s familiar. She sets it back down without drinking.

“Darci Scott. The Scotts were the family that moved in next door after you left. Her father is one of the police.”

Ah, Detective Scott then. The Janus Order monitors the police force within Arcadia carefully. They have agents in key areas to make sure that no one ever looks too closely where they shouldn’t.

“I see…” Barbara says and isn’t quite sure what else to say.

Nancy sets down her mug and fixes her in a gaze that is slightly too sharp for a woman with cataracts like hers.

“Enough about me, you didn’t just come to catch up, did you? What did you want to talk about?”

If Barbara hadn’t spent so much time learning to cover up her emotions she would have tensed.

“Why would you say that?” She asks instead.

She doesn’t like it when people are able to read her. She’s usually very careful to only show the emotions she wants them to see. She wonders what she let slip.

Nancy smiles disarmingly.

“I happened to be looking outside when you pulled up, people who are okay don’t spend an hour sitting in their car in someone else’s driveway.”

Barbara does actually blush a little at that. Her hand drifts up to toy with the yellow pendent around her neck.

A weight comes to rest on her leg and Barbara’s hand clenches around the crystal. She looks up to see that it’s Nancy’s hand. The woman is staring at her with concern.

“Sorry,” Barbara says, before mentally wincing at the apology.

“Take your time dear,” Nancy says. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

Barbara opens her mouth to say something –A denial, maybe?- and then closes it.

She’s become a little too used to hiding her emotions and vulnerabilities from everyone. In truth, she wants to talk about the strange young troll who, despite being her enemy, she finds herself suddenly worried about, but even the little bit of openness she’s shown has already put her on edge.

She’s so wrapped up in a web of secrecy and magic that she can hardly even remember what it was like to be a free woman living a normal mundane life.

Barbara sighs.

“Can we just talk for now?” The words come out almost pleading.

“Of course,” Nancy says.

There’s pity in her gaze that makes Barbara’s jaw clench but she accepts it and tries to let go of her need to be seen as invincible.

“How is high school been for Toby so far?” She offers the question like an olive branch.

“Oh it’s going quite well,” Nancy says, leaning back into her chair. “One of Darci’s friends, Claire, got Toby to try out for the play the school is putting on…”

Barbara finds herself relaxing minutely as Nancy rambles on telling her about things that seem to be happening a world away.

Eventually the light outside begins to take on an orange tint and Barbara forces herself to her feet with a sigh.

“It’s been nice, Nancy, but I really must be going,” She says.

“Oh! Well it’s been a pleasure having you over, dear.”

“Thank-you.” Barbara slings her bag over her shoulder and hesitates. “Would you mind if I visited again?”

“Of Course!” Nancy smiles. “You’re always welcome here.”

Barbara smiles back at her. She’s forced to take a careful breath to fight back the prickling she feels in her eyes.

Thank-you,” She says again, before slipping out into the darkening world.

#Trollhunters #trollhunters fanfiction #Tales of Arcadia #Barbara Lake #Child Champion AU #Lost Souls #nancy domzalski #Trollhunters AUs #my posts #my writing #a short chapter but it needed to be done #looking forward to the next one

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seehowsupplethespineis · 4 years

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Lift Home

(Here we have my first Good Omens fanfiction! Well, the first Good Omens fanfiction I’m posting; I’ve got plenty of WIPs for this fandom that I will one day share with the world. I wanted to cover all the things I’ve been wanting to write for this fandom in this one piece so expect lots of pining, bickering, and a car chase.)

(Warnings: Nazis, a tiny bit of blood, explosion, guns, accidental murder (of Nazis))

(Note: This story takes place directly after the scene at the bombed church, if that isn’t immediately made clear enough.)

The rubble of the razed church lay piled up around the angel, illuminated by fires that had sprung up from the ruins. The flickering flames cast haunting shadows over jagged edges of stone. An air raid siren in the distance, along with the far off screams of people nearby, added an ominous layer to the already depressing scene.

Aziraphale honestly couldn’t care less. He was a little too preoccupied with the demon sauntering off into the gathering darkness, the very demon who had, just moments ago, rescued him and his precious books in an undeniably selfless and courageous act of pure kindness. It was a hard concept to process in itself without the odd feeling of warmth and giddiness spreading from his chest to the hand holding his precious cargo. Adding that to the jolt of panic these sudden emotions brought, Aziraphale could hardly breathe, let alone move.

“Hurry it up, angel!” Crowley’s lazy voice made something twist in Aziraphale’s gut, “Don’t know how many Nazis might be lurking around! Should probably get a move on!”

Aziraphale took a few moments to find his voice, “R-Right! I’m...right behind you!”

Crowley spun back around and strolled unhurriedly yet with a few cautious glances into the darkness to the car he’d parked somewhere in the distance. Aziraphale took one step after him, then two. When he didn’t immediately combust in a shower of sparks, the angel found enough confidence to jog after the demon, clutching his books protectively to his chest and slipping and sliding over bits of rock as he went.

Being the unusually considerate demon he was, Crowley paused to allow Aziraphale to catch up to him. Aziraphale flashed the demon a nervous smile as he neared and averted his gaze for the remainder of the walk. He found himself in an odd state of being where he deeply wished he were alone in his bookshop while also wanting to never leave Crowley’s side. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt this way, though this time he had to reckon with the strange flips his stomach was doing.

Aziraphale wasn’t an idiot. He was an angel, and angels knew a thing or two about love, or at least were very good at detecting it. Right now, Aziraphale could feel it in himself, and the feeling was directed at Crowley. The feeling was strong, too strong, so strong that the angel tried to suppress it for fear it would come off of him in waves that would wash over Crowley and give him away. But Crowley just kept walking, oblivious, hands tucked leisurely in his pockets.

The angel and the demon eventually stepped over the last of the rubble and crossed the road to reach the car parked on the other side. It was a black car, sleek and well-looked after. Aziraphale wasn’t much of an expert on vehicles not involving horses, but it seemed of a good design and make.

He was about to say as much to Crowley in an effort to relieve the oppressive silence between them, when a gunshot went off nearby. Aziraphale winced as something whistled past the demon and him. He barely had time to realize that someone was shooting at them before Crowley was dragging him roughly by the elbow.

“Blasted Nazis!” Crowley hissed through clenched teeth. He yanked Aziraphale round to the front of the car, “Get in, angel!”

Aziraphale ducked down and hurried around the car to the passenger side while Crowley fumbled to open the driver’s side door. Another gunshot went off, closer this time. Aziraphale threw open the car door and dove inside, his bag of books still clutched firmly to himself. The angel noted as Crowley clambered in that the demon’s hat was missing from his head.

“Bloody close.” The demon growled as the car sprang to life beneath them.

Aziraphale twisted in his seat to see a car speeding up behind them, “I thought the Nazis I met in the church were the only ones here!”

“They were,” The car engine roared, “But some tailed me as I came here. Been keeping track of my movements for a while.”

“Why?�� A bullet cracked against the glass windows of the car. Crowley muttered a curse.

“I’m kind of a big deal at the moment. Hang on!”

“Hang on to wha-?” The car surged beneath them and took off at a speed Aziraphale had never before experienced. An involuntary yelp escaped him as the vehicle accelerated, fast leaving the car full of Nazis behind. Aziraphale fumbled for something to hold onto and eventually just latched onto his seat.

“Crowley!” The angel didn’t mean for his voice to sound so shrill.

Crowley glanced at him, “Oh, right! Never been in the Bentley before, have you?”

“S-Slow down- Watch the road!”

“We’re fleeing from Nazis, angel! Not exactly a good time to take it easy!”

“You’re going to get us killed!”

“Those Nazis are going to kill us if we don’t keep moving!”

Crowley turned his head to look through the back window, “Speak of the devils.”

Aziraphale squeezed his eyes shut as the Bentley took a left turn at a velocity that defied whatever scientific laws God had placed on the Earth. He tipped dangerously in his seat and briefly made contact with Crowley’s tensed shoulder before snapping back to his seat once the car continued straight. More bullets rained on the car, burying themselves in glass and metal.

“Can’t concentrate enough while driving like this!” Crowley made a wild gesture with his left hand, “Do something, angel!”

“Like what?” Aziraphale shrieked as a bullet zipped past his face and narrowly missed Crowley’s hand. It transfixed itself in the front windshield.

“Anything!” Crowley shouted, “Just make them stop shooting holes in my car before they shoot holes in us!”

Aziraphale’s mind raced through all the miracles he could use. Make the car invulnerable? Turn their guns into toys? Miracle a flock of birds to blind them?

Another bullet whizzed through the now shattered back window. It moved too fast for Aziraphale to see but he heard the cry of pain Crowley gave a mere half second before the bullet crashed through the front window. The cry sent a jolt of something through Aziraphale and before he knew what he was doing he had raised his fingers and snapped.

The Nazi car exploded in a cloud of flame. The metal frame of the vehicle shot up into the air like a phoenix rising from the ashes only to crash back down to the ground on its head. The melting tires pointed upward to Heaven as a last means of salvation, but of course an agent of Heaven had caused it.

Crowley lowered the hand he’d pressed to the gash in his cheek to stare open-mouthed at the destruction behind them, the car slowing to a halt. Aziraphale stared straight ahead, trying to ignore the orange light of the flames that danced around the inside of the Bentley.

The stunned silence went on impossibly longer until Crowley jerked back to face Aziraphale, looking from him to the fiery wreck and back again, “I...You... I didn’t...Uh...Good job.”

The angel refused to meet his gaze, “I didn’t mean to go that far. But you startled me when you...and...well...it’s done now.”

Crowley stared at him, the gaze made no less intense by his dark glasses. Aziraphale would have turned away, but the blood seeping from the wound on the demon’s cheek held his attention.

“Are you alright?” When Crowley seemed confused, Aziraphale gestured to his face.

“What? Oh, right. Yeah, I’m fine.” He smeared a hand over the injury and it healed up instantly, “Just a scratch.”

“Ah. Thank goodness for that.”

“Yeah…” Crowley didn’t take his eyes from the angel, “Thank goodness.”

Aziraphale glanced out the window and took a deep breath, “Well, we’d best be off, then. It’s getting late.”

Crowley reluctantly looked away from Aziraphale to glance at the sky, “Yeah…”

After miracling the car back to it’s original intact condition, Crowley sped away from the flaming wreck, though thankfully remained slow enough not to make Aziraphale fear for their corporations. More sirens blared in the distance, likely from fire trucks coming to put out the numerous fires the two entities had caused. It was best they make themselves scarce.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the Bentley as Crowley drove to Aziraphale’s bookshop. The demon was the first to break it, “So...tonight’s just been a night for blowing up Nazis, hasn’t it?”

Aziraphale sighed, “I didn’t mean to blow them up, not that I’m…”

Crowley turned to face him, “Not that you’re what?”

The angel gestured for him to keep his eyes on the road before responding, “Not that I’m upset about the whole matter. I’m sure Heaven won’t be upset with me for relieving the world of a few Nazis, especially in self defense.”

The barest smirk twitched across Crowley’s lips but he didn’t say anything.

Aziraphale looked at him. The demon’s glasses hid his eyes from view, and the angel wanted nothing more than to remove them to see the beautiful golden eyes beneath. Such a thought should have caused him to go up in smoke just as the Nazi car had done, but miraculously- er, luckily it didn’t.

“Are you sure no one else is following us?” Aziraphale asked.

Crowley took a right turn that was still a little fast for Aziraphale’s liking but not too much as to worry him, “Pretty sure. I only counted one car following me when I drove here.”

That statement made another question spring up in the angel’s mind, “How did you know I was in the church?”

The demon shrugged, though Aziraphale noted the action was a little forced, “Like I said, pretty popular at the moment. Word reached me about some Nazis planning to double cross an old bookseller and I figured it was you.”

Aziraphale glanced at his bag and allowed himself to relax his hold on it. He nodded to Crowley, “I know I already expressed my thanks, but-”

“Don’t mention it, really.” Crowley waved the gratitude aside, “I should thank you for taking care of those other Nazis.”

“It was my pleasure.” Aziraphale gave a small smile.

Crowley simply nodded and the drive continued in a comfortable silence.

Aziraphale was far more reluctant than he should have been to bid good night to Crowley. The demon stopped the car right at his bookshop entrance. The sight of the darkened shelves sent a wave of loneliness through the angel. The sudden urge to invite Crowley inside seized hold of him and he spun to face the demon.

Crowley’s hair glowed red in the light of the streetlamps. One arm was thrown casually over the steering wheel and the other rested on his seat so he could face Aziraphale. His eyebrows raised as he sensed the question forming on the angel’s lips, his lips parting slightly in surprise and some emotion Aziraphale couldn’t read.

The angel instantly panicked and choked on his words, “Thank you for taking me home!”

Crowley sat still as stone for a few seconds before he gave his head an almost imperceptible shake and averted his gaze, “Yeah, yeah, no problem.”

Fumbling with the door, Aziraphale pushed it open and stepped out into the chill night. He placed his hat on his head and held his bag in a two-handed grip. Without a backward glance, he marched up to his bookshop, threw the door open, and slammed it behind him. After a couple of seconds, the Bentley’s engine roared and quickly faded out of earshot.

The bookshop felt dark and empty despite the mass of his beloved books surrounding the angel. Aziraphale leaned against the door, not wishing to trek any further into this lonely establishment. But trek he did, with a thud in his step and an ache in his heart.

I’m an angel. He’s a demon. We’re hereditary enemies. Get that through your head, you stupid principality!

Aziraphale set his bag down and collapsed into an armchair, throwing his hat haphazardly into the gloom.

He had made the right decision, at least that’s what he continued to tell himself in order to stifle the intense yearning he felt. If he had let Crowley into his shop, Aziraphale was sure he couldn’t have endured it. He loved Crowley. That fact wasn’t something he could ignore, however much he wanted to. It was something he needed to repress until it was rendered inert. That wasn’t how emotions worked, the angel knew, but he had no other choice. It was simply impossible for Crowley and he to be anything other than what they were so there was no point in loving him at all. Their relationship at the moment was already a forbidden one without adding love into the mix.

What kind of an angel am I? Aziraphale was forced to conclude he was a lousy one. With a sigh that came from nearly 6,000 years worth of wariness and one night of harrowing action and new discoveries, the angel popped open the first bottle he saw and poured himself a glass.

#Good Omens #Aziraphale #Crowley #Ineffable Husbands #Writing Entity #TW Nazis #TW Blood #TW Murder #TW Guns

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stormhawksplanb · 3 years

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Storm Hawks Fanfiction: Plan “B”

https://myhushhushdarling.tumblr.com/PlanB

Chapter 7

For those who are on Mobile, Check out the #planb for all the chapters and related content!

The next few hours were quick. The terra was cleaned up, and the art exhibition was cancelled. No winners, no anything. The damage caused by the attack was surprisingly small. Houses were destroyed, and the ground we walked on had dips and small shallow craters. No one was badly hurt which was the good part.

It took a while, but when we accounted for everyone, including the COGA members, The Storm Hawks had taken off on their skimmers to search the terra for any other invaders. Leaving me, Stork, and Junko to deal with the wreckage. Usually that would be no problem, but I don't think any of them want to talk to me after my "This was my war long before any of yours" comment. But like with any negative situation, I try and correct it. After all, it'll make things easier if I at least try.

"Junko! There you are erm- doing... What are you doing?"

I caught him at the center of the town, pulling out the broken canvases and left over art utensils.

"Well the building structures are useless now. But a lot of the art work and other stuff is only partially damaged... So you know..."

My heart sank a little bit. He wouldn't even look me in the eyes. Was what I said that bad?

"Hey uhm. I just wanted to try and apologize for my behavior earlier. I shouldn't have said what I said..."

Junko turned to me, his head tilted. Then all at once it was like a lightbulb went off in his head.

"Oh that! No, yeah, it's fine. We've all heard worse. No need to apologise."

I was almost dumb founded by his reaction. He seemed so mature about it. Then it dawned on me.

"So... How long have you been a storm hawk?"

"Oh uh, since I was 15... I'm 16, going on 17 now..."

"Oh... That makes sense."

Despite how well put together the team was, I seem to have forgotten that they were in the same predicament I used to be in. They were all dealing with the carnage of a war they never started. My only other reaction was to give a quick nod goodbye and head to my next target. Why I did that I don't know.

Upon seeing the condition of the Condor, I cringed. There were scratches on the outer material, burn marks on the paint job, and some cracks in the glass. Glued to the hip of the Condor was Stork, working away at some patch work. Taking a deep breath I stood beside him, and hesitated to tap his shoulder. I jumped a bit when he grunted and glared at me.

"Heeey, do you need any help with repairs? I uh, I know how to paint and I can even get out most of those burn marks!"

All he did was turn away from me, and scoff. I gave an audible groan, wanting to get this done and over as quick as possible.

"Ok! Fine! I'm sorry for being a brat earlier, and I'm sorry for getting in everyone's way! But you can't just keep on ignoring me like this-"

I was silenced by a paintbrush being swung out in front of my face.

I felt embarrassed as the heat stroked my cheeks. He still didn't look at me, as I took the paintbrush and started working beside him. Something tells me he didn't really care about what I said. Or what I did...

After a few hours of hard labor, and helping Junko find the owners to the left over artworks, consoling some children who were lost on their way to the bathroom, the rest of the Storm Hawks squadron came back to the terra. All of their faces covered in mud and dirt. I held back a Chuckle since none of them were very pleased with their new look.

Soon enough the whole Terra surrounded us, hoping to hear about what had happened to them. Aerrow had looked away from the bombardment of "Are we safe?" And "Who was that?!". He Seemed, uneasy.

"It was... Cyclonians..."

Aerrow seemed defeated for a split second, and he faced the crowd again when the murmuring and disbelief subsided.

"It's not Master Cyclonian herself. But one of her lackeys had taken her thrown… Recently."

I locked eyes with Piper and muttered Ravess’ name in hopes the current spectators didn’t notice. She nodded at me, acknowledging my hypothesis to be true, and Aerrow continued.

"I know today was supposed to be important to everyone here. It was supposed to be a step towards our recovery as Atmosians... But today..."

It was like he froze on everyone. We all just stared at each other. My brain kicked in and I stood beside him, a sorrowful look across my face replaced with a sincere smile, and he gave me a grateful one in return.

"Today is the day we prove to everyone who dares question us. And that we now keep what was once taken by the Cyclonians."

It was a short statement, but not false. The crowd cheered and I looked back at Aerrow. A small smirk and a nod my way as another thanks.

Eventually, this part of the Terra was cleared out. Thankfully some neighboring Sky Knights arranged for people to stay at their own Terras while the properly qualified went to work to restore buildings. I had other plans. One of which was to try my shot again at convincing Aerrow to let me bum a ride to my home terra.

Walking on the drop down ramp to the condor, I more or less physically bumped into Piper. Arising a small squeak from her.

"Oh! Sorry!"

I shook my head at her, and playfully rolled my eyes.

"It's fine. It's not like you snapped my arm in half. What's up?"

She rolled her eyes back at me.

"oh you know. Navigating maps, saving a whole Terra, just normal Sky Squad stuff. And what are you up too?"

I shrugged at her, not wanting to disclose to her that I was looking for Aerrow.

"Well if you're not doing anything, could you help me with something?"

"Yeah, what do you need?"

I followed her off and away from the ship as she explained her plans for the terra.

"Well, the unexpected Bombing left us vulnerable, and out in the open. So we’re setting up a temporary Shock Wave Crystal tower. I'm not sure of how aware you are about the war against Master Cyclonis, but-"

She gave a heavy grunt as she moved a box of unmarked Crystals from a table to the floor, then taking out an old map.

"Terra Atmosia had a Sky knight named Carver who betrayed them, and joined an alliance with Master Cyclonis herself."

I grunted and scrunched my face up at the name, Carver. It rang a bell, but I decided not to press on about him. And Judging by her attitude, I'm guessing no one's a real fan. Least, not anymore.

“That also means the Terra is still without a Sky Knight. What's left of his squad still helps out, but it's hard to have a Squad without a leader."

"Why is that?"

She gave me a slight judgmental face. Shaking it off and smiling at me, deciding to humor me anyway.

"Without a Sky Knight or some kind of leader, the Squadron loses their title and rights to their Squad name. The Sky Knight is responsible for not just leading the team. They keep it together, and take responsibility for the whole squad. Those rules can be bent and flexed but the concept stays the same."

I gave a quiet "Ah" in response. It made sense. Something still bugged me though.

"If that's true, Then why don't they just recruit a new Sky Knight?"

I got the idea of what she needed help with, which was moving crates and sorting maps. My mother showed me how to organize maps, so I could do that much.

"It's not a hard thing, but because of Carver's stunt, people are scared to be the new Sky knight. It's an old wound. Some Atmosians have gone as far as to threaten the Ex-Squad members. Some people think that the whole team was involved, and carver freezing his crew mates was just for show."

"Ew."

Piper let out a huffy laugh, shaking her head.

"Storks right. You really are different from other Sky Knights. Speaking of which. Can I ask you something?"

I nodded my head, finishing up on the last map. It looked like they were creating blueprints for new energy launchers, and a radio scrambler.

"What Terra are you the Sky Knight of? Stork said you mentioned something about being a sky knight yourself."

I gave a deep sigh, making sure to look her in the face. The obvious tone mocking Stork, all whilst hinting at her curiosity.

"It wasn't my choice..."

"Is it ever really a choice?"

I gave another sigh, (Just now realizing that I’ve developed a nasty habit of doing that).

"I was designated to become a Sky Knight when I was 10. I live on Terra Argonia. I was actually hoping that you guys could swing round that way and drop me off..."

"Terra Argonia! But that Terra was swept out clean by the Original Cyclonis! That was YEARS ago."

I chuckled at her.

"Terra Argonia is home to the Nova Crystal. Why do you think they call me Nova?"

Piper was looking at me in amazement, blinking rapidly. I could tell right off the bat she was going to mention Dusty.

"That means you're the daughter of the infamous Dusty of the Raving Vultures!"

Yup. There it is.

"Ta da? I think. I don't know why you're so impressed. He's infamous for a reason."

"I know, I know! But do you know why?"

I felt an old wound open up in my chest. My face must have given away my anger because Piper was quick to apologize.

"O-oh. Right. You'd know. Can I ask what happened?"

Before I could speak a hand was placed on my shoulder. Arrow had joined us in our little circle. His face was serious.

"You're gonna have to hold that thought. We're receiving a stress signal from Terra Rex. We might also have a lead on where Ravess is hiding currently".

#storm hawks #stormhawks #planb

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ks-caster · 4 years

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It’s Like Watching Fanfiction – An (Un)Necessarily Long Critique of The 100 Seasons 6 and 7

Ah, the familiar cry of the content-starved fan, particularly as our favorite shows descend into the depths of mischaracterization, unexpected ships, hiatus, abrupt cancellation and shock-value death endings. I’ve said it myself about so many of my shows, while wanting to spend some time watching the characters but not wanting to re-hash episodes I’ve nearly memorized: “I wish I could just watch fanfiction!”

But the further into seasons 6 and 7 I’ve gotten, the more I’ve come to realize that my dream of having new and exciting possibilities for the characters come miraculously to a screen near me wouldn’t be the pleasant experience I’d imagined.

Now, depending on the type of ending you like – hopeful but with a lot of lose ends left to your imagination, or bittersweet but more definite, you could consider either seasons 1-4 or 1-5 their own complete stories.

Both seasons 4 and 5 ended in a way that suggested an unknown but likely positive future. They could have been considered conclusions for the main characters’ developmental arcs, and while season 5 went a little off the rails in terms of offscreen character development and sudden new characters, they both stayed fairly close to the original concept: survivors living in the ruins of the apocalypse. All four (or five) seasons emphasized the importance of the found family dynamic (although those dynamics shifted radically in season 5 due to the time-skip, they remained an important source of character motivation).

But seasons 6 and 7? Those feel like I’m watching fanfiction. And I don’t love it.

A story told on a whole new planet with a new environment, culture and cast of original characters was always going to feel like an AU – it sort of is, no matter how you swing it. If that was all that had changed, then I think the story would still feel cohesive.

If it weren’t for the timey whimey bullshit.

Now, fun fact: when reading fanfiction, I love time travel stories. I haven’t posted any myself but I’ve sought out and read them voraciously, for every fandom I’m in. I love the idea of characters meeting themselves or their friends at radically different ages, plot points and levels of experience and the way that changes things for both groups. (Yes, I’m also a Whovian if that wasn’t blatantly obvious). I also love a good amnesia arc. And I DID think that the Josephine/Clarke body possession thing was pretty cool.

So why did season 6 and most* of season 7 fall as flat for me as they did?

The simple fact is that some things – and characters’ emotional dynamics are one of those things – are so much easier to get across in writing than on screen. A good actor can make us feel the character’s emotions, but unless the film goes full-on Clarke’s mind space, we can’t really know what they’re thinking in individual moments. For the most part film as a genre has ways around this, but if it’s mishandled, then the emotional beats come off all wrong. (See for reference Tony Stark’s funeral where half the actors didn’t know what was going on due to Disney’s spoiler fears.)

If you’re going to include time skips in which things have happened and character dynamics have changed, you cannot handle it wrong.

Which brings us back to seasons 6 and (so far) 7 of The 100. So far to date we’ve had all of this occur either offscreen or asynchronously enough to be confusing to an audience watching the episodes in real time:

Jordan’s entire life prior to meeting Napkru in the waking world

Octavia’s character development while living on Skyring with the Diyozas

Hope’s first 22 years of life, on Skyring and (I presume) Bardo

Echo, Hope and Gabriel living on Skyring for 5 years with Orlando

Going back a little further, we also have the season 5 timeskip, which brought us Spacekru as found family, Clarke adopting tiny!heda, and Octavia building Wonkru. Now season 5 took care to show us Wonkru flashbacks and dedicate time to show Spacekru and the Griffin family loving on each other, making inside jokes etc. But it was still incredibly jarring for the audience in a lot of ways, because at the end of the day, we’ve spent four years with the character dynamics and development doing one thing, and no amount of telling us that they’ve had 6 years to do another thing while our time with them only lasted about one year in comparison is ever going to undo the importance of “show don’t tell.”

Let’s take Bellarkers’ beef with Becho for example. (Disclaimer: Since I don’t really have a strong opinion either way on the popular Bellamy ships, I hope that I’m representing what I’ve read from other people accurately.)

I understand cognitively that Bellamy and Clarke knew each other for one year (during which they were in a lot of intense situations that really didn’t leave them the emotional space to figure out how they felt about each other outside of “I don’t want to lose this person”) and Bellamy and Echo knew each other for seven years (six of which they had plenty of low-stress time to get to know each other, grow and mature side-by-side, etc.).

But that doesn’t compute on an emotional level when I as a watcher went straight from watching Bellamy and Raven tearfully eulogizing Clarke on the ring, to him turning up with a coffee mug and a plucky attitude to rescue her the second he finds out she’s alive and in trouble. I don’t think that could compute emotionally for me without having spent the last few years watching the dynamics shift and Becho happen. And that was with the writers giving me as a watcher an episode at the end of season 4 where Bellamy stops Echo from killing herself and connects with her on an emotional level, and then one at the beginning of season 5 where we got to see the spacekru dynamics, including them being together.

So we’re watching this show, many of us for the found family character relationships (god knows it’s not for all the positive happy feeling I get from watching *checks notes* ah, yes, characters having to constantly choose who to kill off in a string of increasingly huge and horrible genocides. *Side-eyes my life choices for getting into this fandom in the first place.*) Okay, we’re watching this show for the characters, and between seasons 4 and 5, many of those dynamics radically shift offscreen. Becho is the easiest and probably most talked-about example (well, and the Blake siblings, but the radical change shown in Octavia’s character between 4 and 5 makes that at least a little easier to choke down) but there are plenty of others, take your pick.

Although it makes perfect sense for a lot to change between separated groups of people in a half dozen years, it makes a lot less sense to an audience watching week to week, particularly when the show’s limited amount of screen time was too focused on plot to really delve into those changes and let us see and understand them. That was what made me think that the show was headed into jump the shark territory in season 5, but I really wanted to know what happened to my faves (Octavia, Raven and Memori, to be specific) so I kept watching.

Our fandom’s excellent writers spent the hiatus crafting mid-time-skip vignettes and missing character moments, and I spent the hiatus reading them. And I remember thinking that it would have been great if even a quarter of this content could have been put into the show to ease the audience into the dynamic shifts – but of course they’d never have the screen time to do all of that.

Especially, coming back to the main point, since written fiction allows the audience to see inside the characters’ heads, while television (usually) does not. It’s much easier to write a scene in which, say, two characters who have known each other for 7 years show that they’ve gotten into a relationship some time before the scene, and convince the audience that their relationship is good and healthy and genuine, than it would be to produce one for TV.

And then we come to seasons 6 and 7 – the 2-part AU longfic, stuffed full of OCs, loosely connected to the “science” of the original show, and heavily reliant on memory-bending time travel as a plot device.

As season 6 airs, the audience hasn’t really had a chance to process all the radical changes from season 5, and already we have a Marper child running around furthering the plot, and Octavia walks into the Green Flash from Pirates of the Caribbean and walks back out with a personality transplant.

Meanwhile, Clarke gets an actual personality transplant, and it takes even the people closest to her a concerningly long time to notice. Now, if I’d read that in a fic, the writer might’ve taken care to remind me as a reader – particularly after a long hiatus between seasons – that with the exception of Madi none of Clarke’s friends have seen her for more than a couple of weeks in 6 years, so them not noticing for a while that she’s behaving strangely isn’t really all that strange. But on TV, I don’t get to see Gaia’s thoughts when Clarke lets Madi go to school despite the danger – Tati Gabrielle’s facial expressions can only do so much to make up the difference. Because the time spent apart was not (and really could not be, based on the structure of the show) properly acknowledged on screen, scenes like that one leave audiences floundering and pointing out bad writing.

Having watched 7x02 The Garden, I think if I went back and watched season 6 after Octavia returns from the Anomaly, her conduct – especially around Bellamy – would make a lot more sense. (That was the plan for this weekend actually – but my damn Wi-Fi conked out…) However at the time it just seemed weird and unnatural. Had it been the only example of off-screen or asynchronous character development, it would have been a lot easier to swallow. However, season 5 happened, meaning both that I was still getting used to all of the new dynamics and that I had a higher standard for Octavia’s off-screen development, because we got enough bunker flashbacks that I felt like I at least understood Blodreina.

What would have made the whole thing make a lot more sense a year ago would have been if the hair and makeup department had made an effort to make her look older, so that we could see time had passed for her. Now, Marie is 33 in real life, and so was the Octavia who figured out that up is down and got Davy Jones Locker to send her back ran out of the Anomaly, so yes, that is what an actual 33-year-old looks like, and the media has distorted my perception of age. But from an audience perspective, I saw an actress playing a 23-year-old go in, and the same actress playing the same 23-year-old come out.

Gabriel pointed out that her hair was longer, but that only accounted for a few months of time. Since she went in looking dirty, wounded and exhausted, and came out clean, healthy and energetic, she could have passed for younger before I would have thought she was older. (In fact, I want to say there was a theory circulating at that time that the Octavia who came out of the Anomaly was actually a younger version of herself, and she was missing memories because she’d never formed them. I don’t remember whose theory this was though. If you know or if it’s your content I’m referencing please feel free to let me know and I’ll edit!)

In addition, the shifting loyalties in Wonkru near the end of season 5 complicated the character situation – in season 6, the majority of Wonkru peeps (lookin’ at you, Miller and Indra) switched over to the commander’s side. While Indra didn’t really have enough screen time to express an opinion about Octavia, Miller was very clear in season 6 that she was anathema now – which although that was probably a semi-reasonable step for his character, it just felt like someone took his Bellamy-and-or-Clarke-following season 1-4 character and popped it into his season 6 costume without taking the time to address the road he took to get there.

Post-lockerAnomaly Octavia had to face and slay her demons. (Grumbles and links the interested reader to this POST from @osleyakomwonkru regarding that horseshit.) Afterwards, she shows a major shift in personality, particularly towards her brother. Because we as the audience wouldn’t see her time on skyring for about year in real time (or learn that she was ten years older and therefore a lot more mature, the chemical changes of which would account for at least some of the difference even if she couldn’t remember anything else) we had no choice but to associate her change with the slaying of Blodreina, which seemed like a ham-fisted way of forcing her a quick and slick redemption arc and prepping The Blake Siblings to go back to being ride-or-die for each other in season 7.

Raven’s season 6 personality was also radically different from her 1-5 development – while I understand her having a remaining beef with Clarke and being emotional due to Shaw’s death (RIP!) the fact that the writing in season 6 reduced her to the nagging shrew trope until they needed her to do a coding deus ex machina just added to the feeling that I was watching someone take the characters around, change them to their own preferences (even if that preference was to push some into the background and make them tools for the B-plot) and toss them into an AU story. Which I could have enjoyed more if I had been reading it and therefore seeing inside the characters’ heads – and if I hadn’t paid for the privilege with ad revenue instead of voluntary clicks of the kudos/like/reblog/comment buttons.

Another issue with time skip relationship is exposition for the lesser known characters’ backstories. Both seasons 6 and 7 have so far had dramatic character mother death reveals that were conveniently not told to their most important people specifically because the appropriate time to tell those stories would have been during the offscreen time skips. I will (grudgingly) accept Echo, an adult making a conscious (and familiar) decision to change up her personality to fit into and survive within her environment, choosing not to tell a traumatic story that reminds her of her past. (She’s my next meta – stay tuned!)

I will not in a million years, however, believe that the Clarke Griffin who I watched for four seasons be set up as the blatantly obvious “compassionate mom-friend protagonist” adopted a traumatized 6-year-old, moved into said child’s village, burned or buried the bodies of everyone who lived there, and never ever brought up the child’s dead birth parents.

No way. The ONLY reason that could have possibly been scripted in that way was because that conversation needed to be there for plot reasons and the appropriate time for it to have been had was during the 6 years they spent off screen. Similarly, while (again) I’ll buy that Echo chose not to talk about her mom’s death with Bellamy before he decided to be a dick about it, I fully believe that the timing of that conversation was only there because if it had occurred on the ring where it would have been more appropriate, the audience would have missed it.

Now, picture this: if the scene with Madi had been in a written fanfic, Clarke could have said “you didn’t lose me,” Madi could have said “I didn’t mean you,” and Clarke could have remembered Madi telling her the story of her birth mom dying in her arms. Then Clarke could have mentally made the decision that she didn’t want Madi to relive that in an attempt to empathize with her, and she makes an effort to convince her that she’s fine. In just 2 or 3 paragraphs a written story could have effectively conveyed both the exposition and the emotional beats of the scene, concluding with Clarke making a (maybe misguided but still sweet) attempt to be a good mom by not dredging that up for Madi (or something – I’m not defending the crappy and inconsistent writing of Clarke’s parenting we’ve on screen so far).

Moving right along, we had a lovely flashback montage of Hope and Dev, which was sufficient to make me (and several of the tumblrs I follow) care about Dev at least enough to be saddened by his death. However, what we didn’t get was a damn crumb of flashback showing Orlando and Anomalykru developing any kind of familial relationship between him agreeing to train them, and whatever dynamic we were supposed to pick up on at the end of that episode. I got a little protective big sister vibe from Echo and Hope but that’s it. They apparently expended their allotment of emotion-inducing flashbacks on the dead guy, and failed entirely to make me give a shit about (as it turned out) the next dead guy.

Now we’re going into an episode with Octavia on (presumably) Bardo in the promo, so I’m guessing we get to see her skyring-self link up with her return-to-Gabriel-with-clean-hair self. As least with Octavia’s jumping storyline it seems like the writers have consistently made some kind of effort to fill in the blanks.

But we’re also looking at the rest of the season where Echo, Gabriel, Hope, oh hi Jordan I forgot about you again, Diyoza, Octavia, and probably Bellamy and Hoth!Kru (AKA team let’s follow Raven onto a strange planet without putting on suits or having an exit strategy, yay!) have all experienced asynchronous development over periods of multiple years. Given the show’s track record from seasons 5 and 6, I strongly suspect that this won’t be handled any better, meaning that the final season of this show is going to try not only to resolve all the plot points, but to toss in a bunch MORE offscreen character development and hope we catch on.

Beyond character development jumps, we also have Raven and Murphy losing their seasons 1-5 development in season 6 only to have to re-learn and re-change back to who they already were in seasons 4 and 5. Murphy learned to value his spacekru family and stop putting himself first 100% of the time, and yet his arc in season 6 happened. Raven has always been involved in the big life-or-death decisions, and had her being-the-bad-guy moment in season 4 with the rationing, but as we saw in 7x03 the writers really wanted to… redo all of that for her? The girl blew up a bridge full of guys and flash-fried a 300-person army when she was 18; blood on her hands may not be fun but what’s with seasons 6 and 7 acting like it’s something new?

While I’m aware that Jason said his seasons are individual movies (don’t admit that you’re bad at continuity buddy ‘cause that’s what it sounds like) seasons 1-5 and 6&7 are clearly telling separate stories (or 1-4, 5, 6-7 if you prefer). The trouble with 6&7 is that unlike seasons 1-4 (and sort-of 5) we no longer know the characters. Every time someone sits still too long, character-development wise, plot comes along and hits the reset button, tosses them into a wormhole for a couple of years and they come back with the same face but no continuity. It was difficult enough to deal with in season 5 – between 6 and 7 I just can’t keep up. (Even writing this meta, I have to keep going back because I remembered another character who fell into this trap.)

Now if a fanfic writer had done the exact same thing – same plot, same time skips, same organization – it would have played out completely different to the readers. We could have gotten to see inside the character’s minds when they arrived back on screen, seeing things with new, older eyes. We could have had minimally invasive flashbacks to show important exposition (like the disaster that was the conversation about Madi’s mom) and verbal descriptions to point out differences like Octavia’s ten-years-older body. Additionally, the plots of seasons 6 and 7 are so different yet full of overdone callbacks to the earlier seasons – if a fan was writing their own AU story but still wanted some of the trappings of the original plot I’d get it, but on a TV show written by the same people it just feels like they ran out of ideas.

Watching seasons 6 and 7 is exactly like watching fanfiction would be – but without the written and fan-made advantages of fanfiction, they fall flat.

*I do like season 7 better than season 6 because the content of the individual episodes containing Murphy/Emori/Raven and Octavia/Diyoza/bbyHope was still enjoyable content, so 2 out of 4 I have liked so far, despite this very very long rant I’ve just written explaining why as a whole I rather hate the season overall.

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alarawriting · 4 years

Text

California Road Trip (Good Omens/Lucifer (TV))

OK, it is normally not my policy to post fanfiction to this account, but for some reason it doesn’t feel like a bad idea to do it if it’s a brand new fandom I haven’t done stuff in before, so here I go.

A few notes before I start here:

Both Good Omens and the tv series Lucifer are very, very much situated within Christian mythos - Christian specifically, not Judaism. However, Jesus Christ is very much Jewish. I don’t want to offend any Jewish readers, but I just won’t put up with the Christian historical attempt to somehow erase this fact. So I’m going to try to write him as a practicing Jew, which I admit is going to be weird, because generally speaking, Jewish people do not believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ, which puts him in a kind of “who shaves the barber” situation here.

If there are any Jewish folks out there who would not be bothered by being asked questions about Judaism for the sake of a fanfic starring Jesus Christ and the Antichrist on a road trip, please let me know, because while I’ve been reading about Judaism my entire life and have a great deal of interest in the religion and culture, the fact remains that I was raised Catholic.

BTW, the title is a working title and may very well end up changed.

Adam Young sat morosely on a bench in the baggage claim at LAX, occasionally kicking his satchel as an expression of his frustration. Bloody stupid America had to be so bloody damn big. And he couldn’t do anything mundane about it – couldn’t hire a car, his driver’s license wasn’t valid in the States; couldn’t get a flight to San Francisco, because Mum and Dad were hardly made of money and his own funds had been just enough to get here; and maybe there was public, a bus or something, but how was he supposed to find it? All the signs and adverts on the walls were for car rental agencies and buses to local hotels.

He fussed with his phone, trying to get Google to tell him how to get a bus to San Francisco so he wouldn’t have to use his other options. The data plan didn’t work in the States and the airport didn’t have free wifi, so he was trying to find an unsecured network he could hop on. Strengthening the signal of an unsecured network seemed to him more legitimate than, say, hacking a secure network, and much more so than, for example, shortening the distance between Los Angeles and San Francisco so he could hire a taxi. He was definitely not going to go that far.

“Hey there,” he heard a man say. “You look frustrated. Anything I can do to help?”

Adam looked up. There was a tall, skinny man with shaggy brown hair in a ponytail, the almost-not-quite sprinkling of facial hair on the chin that people were calling a “soul patch”, and light brown skin of the kind you might see on an Arab, or a Greek, or given that this was the States, maybe a Mexican. He was dressed in very nondescript American clothes – gray t-shirt, plaid long-sleeve shirt unbuttoned, blue jeans, sneakers – and had the kind of friendly smile that made you immediately want to trust him and tell him your problems. Adam was deeply suspicious.

“Oh, no, don’t put yourself to any trouble on my account,” Adam said. “I’ve just got a thing I need to work out, is all.”

“No problem,” the man said. “But if there’s anything I can do to help you, please, just ask. We’re family, after all.” He grinned widely.

Adam blinked at that. “…Family?”

The man extended his hand. “Josh Carpenter. I’m your cousin.”

Adam’s da had no siblings. Mum had one, Adam’s flamboyantly gay uncle who definitely did not have any children or Adam would have been hearing about them his entire life. “I don’t have any cousins.”

“Well. Okay. Technically I’m your uncle, but you and I are a lot closer in age than the rest of the family so I really don’t feel comfortable calling myself an uncle.”

“I’ve only one uncle and you’re definitely not him.”

“Other side of the family,” Josh said.

Adam stood up, preparing to put some distance between himself and the obvious scammer. “My da hasn’t got any brothers or sisters.”

“Other other side, Adam,” Josh said. “The side you don’t like to think about much.”

And that knocked the wind out of him. Adam stared at the other man, who looked to be at most a year or two older than Adam himself. “…My other other side. You mean… my bio-father.”

“That’s a rather cold word to use, but I can see why it would be your choice,” Josh said. “Yes. Your bio-father’s my older half-brother.”

“So you’re a—” He hesitated. How did you publicly call someone an angel, or a demon, and which would it be? And wouldn’t it be offensive if he got it wrong? He’d gotten the distinct impression from Crowley and Az that most of their people were not nearly as laid-back or friendly as they were, and if this was an emissary from his bio-father, was he going to have to unleash his other side after all? They weren’t supposed to interfere on Earth, not in any way that inconvenienced him, anyway.

“Oh, no, no. I’m as human as you are.” Josh smiled again. The expression lit up his entire face, making him practically radiate ‘I’m a great guy, you should want to be my friend.’

Adam was about to retort that if Josh knew as much as he thought he did, he’d know exactly how human Adam was, and wasn’t, when his brain finished processing the name “Josh Carpenter” in the context of the other things the man had said, and realized who he was talking to. “Wait – you’re – my God.” Abruptly he realized that what he’d said was so apropos it went out the other side to being inappropriate. “I mean—”

Josh laughed. “Don’t worry about it, I know what you’re trying to say,” he said. “Anyway, I’m not, you know. Not like people think, anyway. I’m basically like you.”

Adam, entirely too aware of how close to being a god he was, was not reassured. “So, um… do we need to fight now, or something? Because I really don’t want to fight anyone.”

This time Josh’s laugh wasn’t a gentle chuckle, but more like a belly laugh. “No, no!” He got his hilarity under control. “No. You made your decision when you were eleven, and I’m really glad, because I never wanted any of that nonsense either. And to be perfectly honest I don’t think Father did either. The whole thing came from John’s predictions, and I think they all somehow got the idea that John was channeling information directly from Father because he was one of my best friends, but the truth is? John was… a little weird, to be honest. Wonderful guy, great friend, but… he was never all that grounded, if I’m being honest.”

“So wait. None of that business was in the Divine Plan after all?”

“Contrary to popular belief I don’t generally have any more idea what Father is up to than anyone else, but I do know Him better than most, and no. I don’t think any of that was His idea.”

“Huh.”

Adam must have made a face that somehow indicated his bemusement, because Josh asked, “What?”

“It’s just… I’ve got a pair of friends. Well, I’m sure you know about them if you know about the Apocawasn’t, and Crowley and Az both refer to God as Her.”

Josh shook his head. “It’s a thing He’s been encouraging lately because the English language doesn’t have a good neuter pronoun, and obviously God is larger than any concept of gender, and He’s not really thrilled with what humans have assumed about Him based on the pronoun. But He doesn’t really care which you use, as long as it’s respectful, and… I had a biological mother. I’ve had quite some time where I’ve been using masculine pronouns, so I’m not going to switch unless He asks me to.”

“But it’s okay that I call Her my grandmother? Because that’s hilarious.”

“Sure. Grandmother, grandfather, granddeity… whatever you want. Long as it’s respectful enough.”

“I’m not sure my mental picture of God in a babushka kerchief and a rocking chair is respectful though.”

“Ah, ‘respectful’ when I say it doesn’t mean what the people who supposedly listen to me mean when they say it. I’m Jewish. If you want to picture God as rocking in a chair and wearing a kerchief, maybe doing Her knitting, creating a planet or two? That’s fine. The respect we’re called on to give to God – and by we, I mean humans, but I don’t think it’s much different for half-humans like you and me – is exactly like the respect you give your grandmother. If your grandmother says something that’s stupid and insensitive, you challenge her, because it was stupid and insensitive. If she has rules that make no sense, you challenge them. If She disowned your brother and most of his friends because he talked back to Her, absolutely you get to call Her on that and tell Her that was a dick move. But you still respect her, because She’s your grandmother. You exist because She gave you life, directly or indirectly.”

Adam thought he had stopped talking about a merely hypothetical grandmother about halfway through that. “Really? You tell God that something She did was a dick move?” He laughed.

“Every chance I get,” Josh said, grinning. “We actually disagree about a lot of things, but He listens to me more than He does to anyone else, I guess. Youngest son syndrome or something.”

Adam had in his life had conversations about ending the world, about life on the planets of Alpha Centauri, and about the management structure of Hell, but this still counted as one of the more surreal conversations he’d ever had. “So. Um. Were you just doing something when I happened to stroll by, or did you actually come here to see me?”

Josh put up his hands. “Guilty, I admit it,” he said. “I knew you were here and I knew you were in a little bit of trouble. I didn’t want to pry enough to find out what, though, so you want to tell me? I can probably help out.”

“I don’t need a miracle. I can do that for myself.”

“Good for you. I don’t do them anymore unless it’s an emergency, either, so I think we’re on the same page about that. What’s wrong?”

Adam sighed. “It’s such a bloody stupid mistake to make. I forgot how big the States are. In particular, this state. I came here to see Pepper at Berkeley, she’s doing her grad studies there… you know my friend Pepper, right?”

“She was there that day, so yes, I do.”

“You weren’t there, though.”

“The angels knew I disapproved of the whole thing and kept interfering with me getting a chance to talk to you, but I definitely checked out the whole thing afterward. So yes, I know of Pepper.”

“Right. And the price for a flight to Los Angeles was so much less than San Francisco, I could afford it myself without asking Mum and Da for money. And I had completely forgot that it’s a three hour drive between the two cities, because seriously? That’s much too much for the same state! Who even drew the boundaries for this state, because it’s ridiculous!”

Josh laughed. “I won’t argue against that. And I think I may have just the thing. Although it might take a miracle of the more mundane variety to get it to actually drive for three hours straight without breaking down, but I do have a pickup truck.”

Adam raised an eyebrow, taking in Josh’s appearance. “I’d have thought some kind of, I don’t know, tiny enviro-friendly electric car would be more your thing.”

Josh snorted. “Do you have any idea how much those things cost? If I had that kind of money, it’d go straight to a soup kitchen, maybe a homeless shelter or two. My pickup’s not the greatest, but it still runs, and it lets me carry furniture donations and things like that.”

“You do some kind of ministry or something?”

“Always,” Josh nodded. “Though not like you’re probably thinking. My day’s over; I’m here on Earth because you are, not for my own sake, so I let humans take the lead. I do volunteer work for several of the local Jewish charities, helping the homeless, the hungry, you know.” He leaned on the wall with one hand. “So. Up for a road trip with your cousin?”

“Uncle.”

“You’re making me feel old.”

“You’re two thousand, I should hope so!” Adam said, grinning.

“Yes, but all my brothers and sisters are billions of years older than me, so by that standard, you and I are practically the same age.” He pushed off the wall. “And speaking of my brothers. Did you know your father is in town?”

Adam went cold. “Wait, what? The Devil is here in Los Angeles?”

“Yes. Running a nightclub, apparently.” Josh put a hand on Adam’s shoulder. “You know, I really think you should meet with him. You shouldn’t completely shut your father out of your life even if you don’t want to be close.”

“He’s not my father,” Adam scowled. “My Da’s the one who taught me to ride a bike and who read stories to me at night and cooked me terrible hash browns when Mum was poorly and couldn’t make supper.”

“Right, I get that,” Josh said. “My dad taught me how to build a house, or a cabinet, and taught me how to ride a donkey, and used to walk me to Temple so he’d know where I was because he said I was going to go anyway so he might as well walk me there. But I also have a Father. It’s okay, you know, to acknowledge more than two parents. Step-parents and adopted parents have been a thing since humanity came into existence.”

“Yeah, well, your Father never appeared to you as a giant monster crawling out of the pavement trying to destroy your entire planet.”

“And I really think you ought to try to meet up with Lucifer and talk to him about that. Put some of those conflicts to bed. He was frequently a pretty terrible person when he was running Hell, but… it’s Hell. It makes people terrible even if they were great to begin with. He’s so much better now that he’s not there anymore.”

“What, do you hang out with him often?”

Josh shook his head. “He doesn’t even know I’m here. I haven’t gone to look him up in person, but… you know how it is. If you’re interested in knowing about a person… sometimes it just happens. That happens to you, too, right?”

Adam nodded slowly. “Yeah. Actually it does.” The thought occurred to him that Josh was the only other person on the planet who might really understand some of Adam’s challenges and sorrows in life. The stress of having to restrain near-omnipotent power, so often, because you wanted to be a human and to fit in with humanity, not to stand above it as some sort of lonely god – or devil. Crowley and Az knew a bit of it, but they’d never been human, and Warlock understood some of the weirdness of Adam’s life but had never had the power to perform miracles.

He made a decision. “If you’re offering, I’ll take you up on that trip to San Francisco, and you can maybe talk me into… meeting my bio-dad. Maybe. No promises.”

“That’s all I can ask,” Josh said.

“But if your car will hold together well enough… I’ve got a friend in the States, out on this coast, but I knew Washington was much too far away for me to visit him without a second plane trip. Maybe we could head up north and see him?” Warlock had fled the East Coast and the influence of his toxic parents as soon as he’d turned of age to do so. Adam had met him once or twice after the Apocawasn’t, when his father had had to come back to England – he hadn’t been the American ambassador anymore but he’d still had reasons to come back – and Crowley and Az had brought him to see the boy who should have been his parents’ son, his quasi-brother, at his insistence. But they hadn’t met in person in a few years; Warlock wouldn’t take money from his parents to fly to England and this was Adam’s first trip to the States.

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

Adam grinned, remembering something. “Oh yeah. Is there an ice cream place around here? I heard as a kid that America has thirty one ice cream flavors.”

Josh laughed. “Only thirty-one? You’re in for a treat. Yeah, I know where to find the nearest Baskin-Robbins, that’s the chain that advertised about the thirty-one flavors. There’s actually a lot more than that. Though sadly, Baskin-Robbins’ stores don’t generally have all thirty-one at once.” He gestured toward the door. “Come on. It’s kind of a hike. I couldn’t afford to park in the closer lots.”

Adam picked up his satchel and followed Josh. “I don’t mind a walk,” he said.

#good omens #lucifer (tv)

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cruzrogue · 5 years

Text

SUPERTASTER

#Fictober19 @fictober-event

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for fanfiction:

Prompt number: 9 “There is a certain taste to it.”

Fandom (AU if applicable): #arrow fanfiction #olicity

Rating:G

Warnings/Tags: None… I like sugar hence the Jelly Beans!

Summary: Oliver is hosting a food tasting event at his home. People from the local community center where he’s a member of a current food gathering are about to talk about taste buds.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

This came about because of purchasing Jelly Belly -Jelly Beans, the original pack has 40 different flavors and I’m telling you a lot of them just doesn’t make my taste buds happy. I prefer the kids pack… they may be sweeter but at least I like the majority of them. The Harry Potter addition is a solid no from me. I mean look at the flavors. How could anyone subject their taste buds to earwax? Rotten Egg? Vomit? Just No!

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

SUPERTASTER on A03

People who have a lot of papillae—the bumps on our tongue, most of which house our taste buds—often find flavors overwhelming. They're "supertasters," and as such they add cream to their coffee and order food mild instead of spicy. Subtasters, on the other hand, have low papillae density and prefer their chicken wings "atomic."

Individual taste, however, isn't simply about papillae; it also has to do with our buds' ability to detect different molecules. Although our brains can recognize the same five tastes—bitter, sweet, salty, sour and umami (savory)—the suite of chemicals that can trigger those signals varies from one person to the next. Alexander Bachmanov, a geneticist at Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia, says that humans carry a range of 20 to 40 genes dedicated to bitter taste receptors.

Different sensitivities to bitter tastes probably arose from evolutionary pressures in different parts of the world. Most toxic plants taste bitter, and nomadic groups that came into contact with a variety of plants would have, over time, developed a variety of receptors. People from malaria-infested parts of the world tend to carry a gene that makes them less sensitive to some bitter compounds, specifically those that contain cyanide. Researchers speculate that cyanide, ingested at low levels, fights malarial parasites while leaving the host unscathed. Juyun Lim, a sensory scientist in Oregon State University's Department of Food Science, says that we have a natural aversion to bitterness and certain odors: "Most people don't like beer the first time they try it."

ARE YOU A SUPERTASTER?

To find out, put blue food coloring on your tongue. Blue dye doesn't stick to taste papillae, so if your tongue doesn't get very blue, you're probably a supertaster. The bluer it gets, the greater the chance you are a subtaster. More hot sauce!

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

Now onto the story...

“Felicity, come try this?” He has a fork out holding a sample of whatever is in the pot.

“There is a certain taste to it.”

“What’s your taste buds first reaction?”

“It’s pungent like your chilly but also savory that it doesn’t burn and wow I may want more of this later.” Oliver nods as he places the spoon down and fills a bowl with it before he heads to the dining room.

Felicity just follows him. She’s heading out to spend some quality time with her sister-in-law. She has no real concept of what Oliver is doing in the meantime. She thought he’d train like he usually does when not at work. Being she’s been occupied getting ready to go out she didn’t notice what her husband was doing.

“Oliver? What’s up with the spread of food on the table?”

“Just an experiment.”

She grabs what seems like a blue bottle of dye. “Is this food dye?”

“It’s part of the experiment.”

Felicity looks around the dining room and back at Oliver who is still placing plates of sliced food on the table.

“Am I missing something?”

“Honey, do you remember anything I said last night?”

Felicity takes a moment to ponder. Last night she came home from work and well she remembers there were plenty of words but mostly words she wouldn’t say in front of children. She sways her head no. She thinks he might have mentioned something about the community class he’s partaken in but once she was nibbling on his neck his words weren’t as coherent.

“I volunteered to host the tasting test here in our home.”

“Oh, okay.” She looks at the red dish ad makes a funny face, “Are those the pickled beets I so abhor.”

“Yes, there is a large spread of different foods. Those come from Marie who raided her pantry to offer the group.”

“Yea! Aren’t you all so lucky?”

“Does that mean you won’t join us in this test?”

“Nope, I’m actually supposed to go shopping with Thea.”

“Say hi to my sister for me.”

“I will. Should I pick William up later just in case?”

Oliver takes a moment to consider the question. The group would most likely disperse by then but he also doesn’t want to be a bad host and kick people out when they’re all having a good time. “Sure, that would be great.”

“Okay than, you have fun tasting all these foods but what is the dye for?”

“To see who is a supertaster. To find out, we are going to place blue food coloring on our tongues. Blue dye doesn't stick to taste buds. So, if any of our tongues don’t get as blue, some of us are probably supertasters. The bluer it gets, the greater the chance the person is a subtaster.”

“Fascinating.”

“You say that with such an ecstatic tone.”

She shrugs, “That’s because it is really super boring.”

Oliver rolls his eyes. He knows she is not into the whole discovery of all different cuisines like he is. He is trying to open his horizons to the different available culinary arts. For so long he’s been surviving and somehow opening up to living by experiencing flavor has made a difference in how he copes. He knows his wife understands and she has shared in his experience into the food mastery he’s taken up but she also allows him to do his own thing. Facing things with others outside his safety net.

“Oliver, if your need me, I’m a phone call away.”

“Thank you. I should be able to handle a few kitchen zealots.”

“Okay than. Have fun. Love you.”

“Love you too.” He brings her closer for a kiss but he sniffs something different. “Hmm. Is that honey with a hint of nutmeg?” Her nod confirms his analysis. When the doorbell rings they pull apart. “I guess the party is about to begin.

“It’s a good thing I know Oliver Queen tastes buds are a lot tamer.”

“That’s probably because I’m a subtaster, never enough is enough hot sauce.”

“Ah, that wasn’t what I was referring…”

“Huh hm.” He’s walking Felicity to the door. Opening it up to his first guest, the woman seems to be in her late eighties.

Felicity smiles and welcomes the woman into her home winking to Oliver in the processes. “Have fun.”

Oliver knowing very well what Felicity meant. He isn’t the party boy of his youth and he doesn’t care. These moments he is going to share with his guests knowing he’ll remember them and it will truly be a more enjoyable experience. He hopes to even learn a new dish or tricks to kicking up the heat for a dish his served many times over. This is his life, the life he is choosing and for once he can think the only thing on his mind is the words. “bon appetit.”

#fictober19 #olicity #oliver queen #felicity smoak

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power-of-ages-writeblr · 5 years

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11/11/11 Tag (22/11/11? Tag?)

Another one of these! This time, I was tagged TWICE by the wonderful @sassypandacandy (go read her books,, i love them). I’ve gotta answer the questions, come up with my OWN questions, and then tag 11 people to answer, only I’m not going to tag eleven people because I still don’t think I quite KNOW eleven people yet. Also, because I got tagged twice with two different sets of questions, I’m going to answer both sets in one post, and then just come up with eleven questions of my own, because it takes me yonks to come up with questions and I’m lazy. Eso si que es, y’know?

What’s the first thing you remember writing?

A four-page story about a Diplodocus when I was… definitely before I was ten years old. Maybe like five or six. I was very proud of it.

What’s the last thing you wrote purely for yourself?

Actually, I pretty much always write for myself, so the last thing that I wrote/started to write… ooh-er. That’d be the Warrior Cats fanfiction I’ve been working on. :P

Are you a WIP playlist person or a WIP aesthetics person?

Playlist, probably. I tend not to make playlists specifically for WIPs – instead, I’ll assign songs and soundtracks to specific characters and scenes – but I’m still better at throwing together playlists then making aesthetics LMAO

What’s a book you wish you’d written?

Uuuuh… maybe it’s just because I’m young (barely an adult), but I don’t have anything where it’s like “ah I wish I’d used that idea” or “wish I’d written this book”. I still have a lot of writing ahead of me, hopefully, so all my ideas I hope to actually get out some day. (Assuming that’s,,, what the question is asking me)

What’s your favourite book adaptation?

Ironic because it doesn’t follow the books that closely, but I love the How To Train Your Dragon films very much.

Which of your characters would you like to have a conversation with? What would you like to talk about?

The downside to Pandemonium’s Bane being filled with eccentric personalities and cooky characters means that there’s actually few of them I’d LIKE to have a conversation with, because most would be too dickish or too annoying for my tastes xDD That being said, I think me and Plue are on very similar wavelengths, and we have a lot in common (such as both of us wanting to write), so I wouldn’t mind chatting with her for a bit if I had to.

Which of your WIP worlds would you most like to live in?

The Power of Ages stories are mostly set in one universe (the Nimbus System) so I guess I’d have to go with that one by default. There’s Neil’s dimension, I guess, but it’s destroyed, so…

Have you ever written anything inspired purely by a song? If so, what song was it?

I haven’t written anything inspired just by a single song, but I HAVE got certain scenes or character backstories based off of songs, or even the concepts they’re based around. I have a whole battle between brothers planned out to the soundtrack that plays when Shifu fights Tai Lung in Kung Fu Panda, and listening to the Iron Man soundtracks helped me with both the conception of a new character and her placement in my roster (and yes, she does invent things and fly around, although there are also some major differences)

Have you ever written poetry? Do you still? Why or why not?

I… haven’t written poetry. And the reason for that is… I mean, I guess it doesn’t really jibe with me? Granted I haven’t considered it heavily, but it was always my least favourite aspect of learning English at school, and I just never fell in love with it the same way I fell in love with writing conventional narratives.

Who would direct an adaptation of your writing?

I ain’t big on directors, so IDEK. I guess in terms of the rewrite of Maelstrom (my current main WIP) I’d pick Sam Raimi, who proved with his Spider-Man films that he can blend fun superhero narratives with slightly darker elements pretty well.

How do you motivate yourself when you don’t feel like writing?

Mainly by having multiple projects to work on! That way, if I ain’t feeling what I’m working on, I can switch over to another one, and bingo bango, I can keep writing. (Hypothetically. Sometimes it ain’t that simple, obviously.) I also use music, and I also take advantage of being in situations where it’s like, I’d rather write then do the alternative. Do you know how much writing I got done in lessons? So much. :P

What scenes are the worst to write?

The ones that I haven’t planned out – sometimes I have very specific ideas for how I want scenes to happen, and I’m excited to get to them, but other times they’re just obligatory because there’s certain information I have to convey. That makes it a challenge to write it in a compelling way, because why should the reader care if I don’t?

What can you say is a thing you love most about your writing?

I’d say I like the dialogue/character interplay/narrative description-y sort of stuff. I think I’m good at giving everything levity, and keeping it breezy and entertaining even if I myself find the writing process to be a bit of a slog. Plus, it’s funny to read back over, and it’s also funny to watch my discord quote a line and then keysmash at it. :P

What is writing advice that you take to heart?

It’s from Aaron Sorkin’s writing masterclass – the idea that a story is defined by the main character’s INTENTION, the OBSTACLE facing them, and the TACTICS they use to overcome it.

How do you keep yourself from quitting writing together?

Honestly, it’s not like I have to try that hard! By this point I’m desperate to tell these stories that I have in mind, so I have a sort of innate compulsion to write because I wanna get it all out there. I’ll get back to you if that compulsion runs out, but for now, I see myself writing long into the future.

What is the strangest thing you’ve searched up on the internet for writing purposes?

Probably the capabilities of medieval-era people to recognise nuclear technology. (And for the record, the answer is “pretty low”.)

Not a question, but shoutout a writeblr (or multiple) that you think needs to hear that they are awesome and doing a great job (by the way everyone, you all are awesome and doing a great job. Keep it up.)

Well obviously I’m gonna shout out the person who tagged me in the first place – Kels. I await the final(?) book in the DOOT series with great anticipation.

Your OCs are trapped on a deserted island, what would they be doing?

I WANNA say they’d try and work as a team, but, uh. It may not go so well. Dante and Plue would probably be the most practical. Gaia would be good at grunt work but not focus on the task at hand, Rose would be functionally useless but good at moral support, Jacen would try to organise things but Gaia would just push him in the sea for jokes… I reckon they’d escape eventually, I suppose, but it wouldn’t exactly be a clean-cut affair, you know? xD

What is your biggest inspiration for your WIPs?

I actually have various inspirations – I think collectively my biggest inspiration is the MCU, in that it’s a bunch of interconnected stories set in the same universe about different characters and also there are superpowers. xDD

A habit you have when it comes to writing?

Not doing it (thank you writer’s block)

A fact about your world and/or characters?

I have debated killing of MANY of my characters, but have only actually come to concrete decisions one way or the other with a few.

If your WIP/s got turned into a movie or series, what would be the quote on the promotional poster or trailer?

Oh, I’m gonna do this for ALL the WIPs, this seems fun!

Of Encounters and Trysts – Two Hearts, One Soul (or something equally cheesy)

Hit and Run – Even the indomitable aren’t invincible

Maelstrom – Destiny Begins

The Destroyer of Worlds – One Case, One Team, One Superpower

Survivor – It’s every man for themselves

Savants – Not so different

Omnia Vincit Amor – Good things come to those who get traumatised

Cometh the Hour – Six thousand years from home

Alright, now it’s (finally!) time for my eleven questiones:

1 – Does music help you write, or does it just distract you?

2 – What’s your favourite writing tool? A laptop? Notepad and pens? Quills and inkpot?

3 – Do you have to physically go to places to get a feel for them and feel as though you can set writing in them?

4 – What got you into writeblr?

5 – How well can your OCs dance, do you think?

6 – Do you have a favourite writing snack? If so, what is it?

7 – Bionicle. Thoughts?

8 – Is there a specific piece of media (movie, show, book, w/e) that you could say has been more of an inspiration to you than anything else?

9 – What’s the best soundtrack you know for getting pumped and hyped up?

10 – If you could only write one genre for the rest of your writing career, what would you go with?

11 – What’s your favourite music-based meme? (Examples include “LET’S GO”, “CREEPER/AWW MAN” and “We Are Number One But ___”)

Tagging… @thelimeonade, and @dawnuchiha!

#Not Power of Ages #Tag Game #11/11/11 tag #these questions are always fun to answer!!!

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savrenim · 5 years

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Do you have any role-playing tips? Especially for a more ~serious~ character? Cause i want my character to bond with the rest of the party, but im not rly sure where to start, especially since ive established her as kind of closed off

OH WOW OKAY

super honored that you asked

gods lemme see, I have a lot to say and some of it might be contradictory because so much of improvising and character creation and motivation is character, so this is going to be stream-of-consciousness under the cut

things that you can do that are just you—get comfortable improvising things, DnD and roleplaying in general is improv, it’s all say “yes and” and “go with the flow”

—but also get comfortable saying “yes” to yourself and not second-guessing yourself

—ie if you say something or do something don’t second-guess it, let it have happened, let it be canon. and then from there, ask yourself why.

—seriously, the most interesting thing I have ever done and best way that I’ve ever built characters is I thought I had an idea who they were, and then they said or did something during a session that made me go “oh shit, why did they do that”, and it either connected to a thing in their backstory I didn’t realize or indicated that they had a stronger feeling about something than I realized and letting the thing that I’d done be canon that then I post went back and extrapolated from allowed the character to grow and mature and develop better than if I’d been wishy-washy or had stopped myself from doing the thing that came to mind in the moment because I was worried about whether or not it was “in-character” enough

—and you can use that to reverse-engineer a character that better fits the overall party dynamic

—for example, for the department campaign I’d completely accidentally created a character who was a bit of a prissy field librarian here for linguistics and to be the arcane consultant and had never seen a death before and believed strongly in all life was utterly irreplaceable and precious for a party that was way more classic DnD and way less character-driven and VERY murderous even though we’re the good guys on a classic “save the world from demons” quest just very chill about murdering moochs, and so slowly from interactions and reactions it turned out her upbringing was a more extreme high class controlling mother and her morals developed into a way more interesting “I am privileged and detached and am trying to say that I care about not killing but tbh as an elf who’s essentially immortal and the rest of you all die in 50 years anyways it is kind of weird to care about your lives and my family thinks I’m weird and really going through a phase for doing so and it’s hard to stick to that when you all seem chill with killing people so okay I guess we’re murdering people now, gotta stop the demons” and the more I leaned into that, the more interesting it became, because as she became a more powerful arcanist I started leaning into the “the more high level spells she cast the more she started power-tripping/the power affected her brain and the less she stuck to the morals she cared so much about at first that her friends didn’t” that, like. this has been a hella interesting, hella engaging character for me. if I had gone “Seraph Maewel has never seen anyone die before and she refuses to be a part of intelligent humanoid killing so we have to make sure we only knock people out and just kill the monsters and I’m going to throw up after every single fight that we accidentally do murder people” it would have been static and boring and sure, what I initially established, but it turns out what I initially established wasn’t best for the campaign and this was an interesting, in-character transition that happened naturally because I did things as I did them aligned with what I understood about the character and then thought about afterwards how it fit with everything I’d established before and what it implied that maybe was different than I thought

—also people change it’s okay and in fact VERY fun to do character growth arcs you don’t have to feel married to your initial conception of a character

—there’s another concept that’s a little bit tied? that is pretty much IC vs OOC choices, of, like, and this is my strong opinion because I’ve been a counselor who’s been in charge of making LARPs fun for little kids for years now? but basically, on a larger scale than the tiny individual interactions, it is your *job* to come up with IC excuses and still make genuine in character decisions that serve the party and that serve the narrative

—like, for example, a while back, I played a character who actively was planning to leave the party after a year. they hadn’t told the rest of the party they wanted to leave, because it was their business, but they were in a point in their life where absolutely nothing was going to convince them to stay with this group of people, *especially* the fact that they cared about them, mostly because they wanted to Prevent An Event That Had To Do With Their Backstory From Happening To Everyone. out of character, I knew that I couldn’t just Leave The Party, so I made sure the DM knew how my character felt, knew that I wasn’t *actually* going to leave and that my character might be getting uncomfortable or look like they were making plans to leave but that I trusted the DM to do the rest, and the way that it was resolved was my character really didn’t *want* to leave their new friends and just cut it too close when they thought they had more time and the Event Happened and after it happened there was no reason to leave. but I found IC excuses to keep choosing an OOC action that served the narrative way better than going “my character really wants to leave so guess I’m going to leave.”

—you honestly probably do things like that anyways? in terms of, like, there is a Plot Hook so you find an IC reason to care about it. but it’s a very useful skill to develop to look at a narrative, go “what serves this narrative best?”, and then once you answer that question go “so what reason does my character have to try to do something like that or as close to that as they can?”

—right now all of the above advice kind of sounds like “yooo change your character” and the answer is also, *don’t*. balancing meta stuff is a…meta thing? just make sure that you’re having fun, and that you’re playing the character that you want to play, and that you have Strong Feelings and act in ways that give you the Feels that you want and that you’re playing for you too. compromise is compromise all around you aren’t going to get anywhere if you’re the only person who gives any leeway then it’s not fun and easy to get bitter, roleplaying is collaborative and other people should work to reach out to you too and give you hooks

—biggest and maybe most important bit: your DM is your friend. esp if they’re trying to facilitate deeper roleplaying. tell them how yooo you want to try to get closer to the rest of the team, is there any sort of challenge that they can throw at you all that will facilitate teambuilding? a little bit of “we all saved each other’s lives” or “oh fuck we got stuck in this cave in together and have to work together in ways we haven’t to survive” or “oops we all have to be undercover and are relying on each other to keep up this act” or just any situation in a story or piece of fanfiction that you would see and go “aND NOW THEY ARE A FOUND FAMILY WHO CANNOT BE TORN APART”, well, let that happen to your group.

things that you can do immediately to have reasons to care about the party as a whole:

—if you can learn their backstories, do? group bonding happens with sharing of personal backstories, and, like, OOC, everyone wants to talk about their character and stuff. if you don’t like them, a good in character reason is maybe you’re paranoid and don’t trust them and want to do some goddamn background checks on the people that you’re working with. but once you know more things about them, you have so many more reasons that you can use to go “ah yup and here’s something my character would hella care about and maybe might be the start of a bond”

—as a closed off brooding character you still can have feelings that you are just the Dramatic Person In The Corner that you don’t show them but they’re there, that is everyone’s favorite character in tv shows as they wait for said character to Crack and admit that they have Emotions

—for example maybe pick another character in the party and oh wow you love them so much, they are your tiny son, you would never show it but nOpe they are yours now and nothing touches them

—pick another character that you absolutely hate and grumble about and glare at, except they are your asshole and nobody else outside of you is allowed to pick on them and if anyone threatens them you will murder that person

—Marian Daywrym, yet another DnD character of mine, has done both; three of the four other characters in the party are 16-ish year olds and Marian is a gruff 56 year old who oops has adopted three more children because tHEY ARE CHILDREN, and then there’s Djin, space rogue, her ex co-captain of a ship that broke up when they had a huge fight a decade ago and at this point the way that she interacts with Djin is mostly being incredibly passive-aggressive and mean to his face but pretty clearly would Die for him and if anyone else tries to be mean to him she is ready to Fight, and that is how my grumpy standoffish “I’m the medic and I’m here to do my fucking job and stay the fuck alive” space mom captain, who also has a policy of “don’t bond or poke into each other’s personal business no drama on this ship we all just want to scavenge in peace” ended up being So Emotionally Attached To Everyone

—but there’s actually another potentially interesting route to go, depending on what kind of Brooding, Closed Off character you are that isn’t “oops secretly now I love and would die for everyone”? which is basically…find someone in the party that you decide that your character maybe admires in some way? of, like, maybe they have an Ideal of they’re going to be a Hero Of Justice and you had that ideal as a kid and it only brought you suffering and pain and you never reached it and so fell off that path and that’s one of the reasons that you’re closed off and it’s Painful watching this person with such hope in their eyes try and you don’t know if you want them to succeed where you couldn’t because they deserve to succeed or if that’ll hurt more too, and that gives you reason to be emotionally invested in their storyline and find yourself taking them under your wing and also for everyone else to go “hey are you okay want to open up?” and for you to maybe feel vulnerable enough to talk about your backstory, looking at someone who reminds you of a less broken you. or not even ideals that you had, ones that are “wow are you really the sort of person that I wish I could have been?” or hey, maybe you’re the idealistic one, then is there anyone in the party that is essentially a “wow I resent you so much for starting from a similar point that I did and falling off the path and/or am fascinated because am I looking at what’s in my future, I need to figure out what makes you tick even though it’s like looking at a train wreck in slow motion of whether or not it’s going to happen to me”

—those are all the thing that come to mind to me right now but if you want me to Tell Me About Your Character And Your Party And Your Game I am always down to listen to people talk about their DnD characters (midterms season is coming up so I might be on and off of here but I swear if you ping me I won’t be ignoring you, just answering when I can)

#dungeons and dragons #roleplaying #advice

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gb-fics · 5 years

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On Tour (A-side)

A fanfiction with the pairing:

Kiryuuin Shou x Kyan Yutaka (Golden Bomber)

Note: I couldn’t quite make up my mind on how to call them, so I decided to go with first names for everyone to make it consistent. In the future, I will stick to it as well.

Also, I’m not sure yet if this is completed or will be continued. There is a B-side to the story featuring Jun and Kenji, though.

Next to him, Jun had plugged in his earphones as soon as they entered the car. Now, he was spacing out on the backseat and Shou couldn’t blame him. He had had his fair share of shouting for today, but in front of them, Kenji and Yutaka were still at it. They weren’t even arguing, but everything about their personalities just seemed loud for some reason. Shou wished they would give him a break.

The radio broadcast had left his throat somewhat sore. It wasn’t the kind of painfully sore that came from straining his vocal cords too much. He was used to talk for two hours straight, but it always left him with the feeling of having no words left inside of him. It was like that after every broadcast and especially now that the end of the tour was drawing near. He needed his phases of solitude and silence like he needed the talking. But currently solitude and silence had become rare and he felt like having used up all his words for the rest of the week in a single go.

He stared outside the window, but the landscape passing by was pretty boring. Luckily, it had been radio today only. Kenji had offered to drive and so he only had to blank out three people instead of a whole team of hair stylists and make-up artists that tried to make him look good on tv. Once again, he silently thanked his younger self for consequently sticking to one outfit. At least he didn’t have to worry about what to wear if he wasn’t in the mood for it. The only person bothering with his clothes even less was probably Kenji, who most of the time did not bother with clothes to begin with.

“Eh? We should definitely go there!”, Yutaka announced enthusiastically.

Shou hadn’t been listening to the conversation. It had something to do with sports and as usually his attention had dropped immediately at the topic.

Instead his thoughts circled around the first question the interviewer had asked him today. It was always the same question and always the same simple answer, although it sounded a lot more complicated in Shou’s head.

You are a talented musician – why choose to form a band that doesn’t play their instruments?

The socially accepted version was that he wanted to make people laugh. It wasn’t a lie. Shou had always been good at making people laugh at him. He loved the stories almost as much as he loved the music. He loved thinking outside the box.

But there was another answer, that was just as true; just as simple and just as complicated.

He had chosen to form a band without musicians, because Kyan Yutaka could not play the guitar.

In the end, music and stories and jokes weren’t the only things that Shou …

“We should ask Jun if he wants to come!”, Kenji said.

Yutaka turned around in his seat. His face was handsome as always. Over the last years it had changed a little, although Shou couldn’t quite name what that change had been. He still looked young. He still had the same charming smile. It had been that smile that had made Shou decide that the concept of Golden Bomber was worth a try. It was the kind of smile that had made him want to bank his future onto it.

“Yo, Jun! Jun!”, Yutaka shouted.

Jun was still looking out the window, his whole body-language signalling that he was ready to actively ignore everything around him until they reached the hotel. Whatever could possibly happen – Kenji undressing behind the steering wheel, Yutaka smashing a window, the car catching fire – Jun would not get hysteric about it.

Shou reached over, grabbed the wire and pulled out his earphone without warning.

Jun got hysteric immediately.

He flinched so violently his head hit the support behind it.

“What?! What?!”, he shouted, obviously expecting the worst.

His reaction was so ridiculous, it made Shou chuckle. Maybe Yutaka’s grin did a little for it, too. His grin made Shou feel giddy.

“Kenji and me want to go to a baseball court practicing hall* today. You should come.”

“Me?”, Jun assured.

Shou was wondering the same. It was completely normal for Yutaka and Kenji to go out on some sports thingy together. But why were they asking Jun? Sure, he was working out way more than Shou, but he wasn’t interested in sports either. He wasn’t even social. He was wearing earphones.

“I don’t really like baseball. I wonder if I should come along, but I feel I really shouldn’t.”

“Ah, you are such a bore!”, Yutaka shouted, suddenly with a fit of anger that would blow over in a second, leaving behind his smiling face again.

“Come on, Jun, come on!”, Kenji begged from the driver’s seat. “It will be fun. You hardly spend time with us, just say yes!”

“We’re on tour, I spend all my time with you currently!”, Jun insisted, but everyone in the car already knew that he had lost. He could never tell Kenji no when he used his pleading voice.

Shou had never understood Jun’s weakness for the drummer. Other than that, they had quite a few things in common. Jun needed the phases of solitude and silence, too, while both Yutaka and Kenji seemed to fill any room with their presence and noise as soon as they entered it. They were charismatic in an outgoing manner, that Shou never quite managed, no matter how hard he tried. He could fake it for a while, but at the end of the day he just wanted to curl back up into his emotional shell.

“So, it’s settled”, Yutaka continued, ignoring Jun’s mumbled protest. “We will just drop off Shou at the hotel and then go there immediately.”

“Thanks for inviting me”, Shou said dryly.

He was used to it, though. It was his own fault for declining their offers one time too often. They knew he wasn’t enjoying that kind of thing. Be it sports or group activities. He realized he should be thankful for their plans instead. The hotel room would be quiet for a few hours, and for a while there would be no random nudity. There was no point in getting upset that they hadn’t even asked him.

“Eh?”, Yutaka assured. “You want to come?”

Shou hesitated. He did not want to come. He wanted to be invited. It wasn’t quite the same thing. He wanted the others – he wanted Yutaka – to think of him first. Not of Jun, not even of Kenji. Sometimes, Shou wanted Yutaka to look at no one but him.

With a sigh he shook his head.

“You know I don’t”, he said.

“Too bad”, Yutaka said.

For a moment, he sounded honestly disappointed and Shou wished he could be that person. That person who cared about sports and being social and easy-going; that person who didn’t disappoint Yutaka. He wanted them both to have fun together, but at the same time he was aware they wouldn’t have fun together, even if he went along. Sometimes, he wished to tear off his own skin to become someone else completely and then he remembered that it wasn’t his fault and he just wished Yutaka to stay.

“Sorry”, he said quietly. It felt as if he was trying to apologize for whom he was.

The car pulled over, changing lanes. Shou could already see the hotel.

“Why are you letting him off like that?”, Jun whined.

“Shou is actually working for our living”, Kenji said.

“Technically, …”, Shou started, but decided to drop the discussion as the car stopped short. “Yeah”, he agreed.

“See you later!”, Yutaka called as he got out of the car.

They didn’t even wave him off. The car just pulled back and sped down the road again before Shou had entered the hotel.

Suddenly, the silence around him felt burdening. The hotel lobby was quiet, as well as the corridor to their room. The voices had been shut down too sudden and although Shou had longed to be alone only moments ago, he now felt lonely. Maybe he should have joined them. Maybe he had just been too proud to tell them that he didn’t want to be left behind. Maybe he was an idiot.

For several years now, he didn’t know how he felt. When he was around Yutaka, he couldn’t stand his presence remaining just out of reach. And when the tour ended and there were no shootings left to be done, he missed him and thought that just being friends – just being around him – would be enough already. But it was never enough; either way.

He unlocked the door to the hotel room. It was stuffy and crammed with four single beds inside and clothes on the floor that always managed to get dirty though only ever worn for a short period of time.

Sure, they could have booked two rooms instead. It would have been more comfortable and would moreover have stopped the fighting for the use of the bath. But it would also be more expensive and since they only ever stayed for one or two nights, to Shou, it didn’t seem worth the expenses.

There was another reason, of course, like there always was another reason. Shou’s heart wouldn’t have stood to share a bedroom alone with Yutaka, knowing he slept in the bed next to him, his soft snoring and his warm skin so incredible close. His heart would beat so fast, it had to stop eventually from exhaustion. If Yutaka shared the bedroom with someone else, Shou’s heart would probably not beat at all. A four-bed room was the only solution.

He went over to open a window. It was still cold outside, but he needed fresh air and he needed to get out the smell of people who weren’t here.

Only then did Shou allow himself to sink onto the pillows of his bed and close his eyes. He didn’t plan to nap, but he was tired in a way that had nothing to do with a lack of sleep. He was emotionally exhausted and the question of the interview kept resonating in his mind.

Back when founding Golden Bomber he had already known. He had been perfectly aware that he would do everything to work together with a man like Kyan Yutaka. He was funny, charming, incredible creative and a good actor. His complete lack of musical ability was made up by his smile and, well, a certain amount of total and absolute craziness.

He was adorable and even back then Shou had noticed the tightening in his chest and the tingling in his groin whenever he made him laugh. But he had assumed it would pass over time, that there would be other men and other women, and that he would grow up eventually, that he would leave his own unmanliness behind and those feeling would stop or he would gather the courage to confess to them instead. But none of it had happened and time had only shown that “unmanly” was the word most people would forever associate with him.

Being on tour only made it worse. Yutaka’s clothes were all over the place, the smell of his perfume constantly filling the room or the car, his voice too close and loud to forget it even for a second. Shou didn’t only need a break from his band members. He needed a break from his own feelings.

“Shou, I’m home!”, a loud voice interrupted his thoughts and the door flew open with a bang.

Shou shot up into a sitting position immediately. Shouts like that could mean about anything and often enough they were accompanied by a camera, ready to ban the disaster on film.

“That was fast. Where are the others?”, Shou asked, carefully checking the empty space behind Yutaka who was now standing at the end of his bed.

“Ah, Jun broke his leg or something, so we returned early.”

“Jun, what?!”, Shou barked out.

In his mind he already rehearsed the program of the show in two days. Did Jun have to walk a lot? Did they have to make any major changes if he couldn’t move around freely?

“Don’t worry, he’s fine”, Yutaka waved it off. “He was just screaming a lot.”

“So, he didn’t break his leg?”, Shou assured. “Can he walk? Is Kenji taking him to a hospital? Can we perform in two days? Do we have to …?”

“Oi!”, Yutaka shouted and grabbed for a pillow to hit Shou on the head with it.

The pillow was soft, but Yutaka used so much force, it still made him feel slightly dizzy.

“You worry too much. I told you he is fine.”

Shou sighed, rubbing his forehead demonstratively.

“That hurt”, he protested. “And I have to worry. I’m your leader.”

“Great leader you are”, Yutaka stated dryly, nudging him to move over. “Napping while your bassist gets injured.”

He sat down on the bed next to Shou, both of them with their backs up against the headboard. It was a small single bed, so their upper arms were lightly touching. In spite of the weather, both of them were wearing short-sleeves and Yutaka’s skin felt heated against his own. Shou swallowed.

“I wasn’t napping”, he said, shoving Yutaka with his shoulder to express protest.

“Yeah, just lying around with your eyes closed. What were you doing? Thinking of pervy stuff?”, Yutaka asked, pushing back against him so hard Shou nearly fell over. “I’m just glad you weren’t masturbating when I came in.”

“I never do that in our common room! I never know when one of you guys will walk in”, Shou defeated himself, suppressing his laughter. He left a dramatic pause for effect. “What do you think why I always lock the bathroom door?”

Yutaka burst out laughed, bending forward and holding his tummy.

“Stop it”, he begged, catching his breath and sitting up straight again.

The hand he had pressed against his belly before, dropped to his side, resting against the outside of Shou’s thigh.

The touch felt incredibly hot, even through the fabric of his pants. From where Yutaka’s fingers were brushing him, heat seemed to spread into all directions.

He was used to body contact with the other members of course. There was no way to avoid it with a band concept like theirs. But sometimes the touch had a different feeling to it. When it was just two people in a single hotel bed for example.

Determined he pushed Yutaka’s hand away.

“Don’t touch me like that”, he said as sarcastic as possible. “I’m sexually frustrated at the moment. Kenji blocked the bathroom all morning.”

“What are you saying there?!”, Yutaka scolded, his voice interrupted with laughter.

He slapped the back of Shou’s head. It made Shou chuckle in return. He cherished those small moments of casual touches that didn’t make him feel weird and flustered and the sound of Yutaka’s laughter. Meeting him had made Shou even funnier. He tried his best to make him laugh over and over again.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry”, he admitted, turning his gaze to meet Yutaka’s eyes.

He wasn’t wearing lenses and the dark brown was a warm, beautiful colour. Both of them stopped laughing.

“You were mad we didn’t ask you to come, weren’t you?”, Yutaka asked, surprisingly serious all of a sudden.

It was hard to remember that he could be serious sometimes, but in fact he was hard working, not only with the band but also with his acting. You couldn’t do it without being serious sometimes.

“Disappointed”, Shou admitted. “It’s like you don’t want to hang out with me at all.”

He turned his gaze away.

“You know it’s not true”, Yutaka said.

He placed his hand on top of Shou’s thigh again. His palm was very warm. This time, Shou was sure, he was doing it on purpose.

He did not protest.

“I know I don’t enjoy this kind of stuff, but I feel like I let you down. I feel like a pretty disappointing band leader. You get along with each other and with the staff so well, while I have such a hard time fitting in.”

Shou hesitated. It wasn’t easy to be this honest, but if he could admit his feelings to someone, it was Yutaka for sure. He was his close friend. They had formed the band together. The struggles in the beginning, the long tours and endless discussions about new concepts had made him one of the people who knew Shou best. He even knew about all the character traits he would have preferred to hide.

“We all admire you immensely. You should know that. If you want to come, you should just say so. We are not mind readers”, Yutaka said.

His way of speaking always sounded a little harsh, but Shou understood how he meant it.

He looked up again. Yutaka’s eyes were still fixed on his face.

Suddenly, he felt slightly embarrassed. The feeling had stopped after living with his own appearance for so many years. He was even using it, making weird faces and showing off his teeth. But in situations like these – when someone whom he cared about looked at him too closely – Shou wished he could change his own looks. He knew that he was nowhere near as handsome as Yutaka and he assumed that, if he was, it would be easier to just say the words, to just confess how he felt about him for so long already. But the way he was now, he had nothing to offer to him. He wasn’t attractive and he wasn’t interesting. He was funny, but there were probably a lot of people funnier than him that Yutaka could choose from.

“I just wanted to spend time with you”, he said quietly.

Yutaka started to make soothing motions with his thumb dangerously close to the inside of Shou’s thigh, where the skin was sensitive and his nerves felt electrified.

“I want to spend time with you, too. I could have had a great career in a super interesting office job, but instead I decided to do something where I have to see your stupid face all the time”, Yutaka said.

His sarcasm made Shou snore.

“I’m sorry for my face”, he apologized, not sure where to look.

“Aah”, Yutaka hummed. “Just saying, I like your face.”

His hand slid up Shou’s thigh a tiny bit, and made his head spin. He wrecked his brain for a joking response, but all the blood he needed for thinking was currently rushing into the entirely wrong direction.

“I’ll keep it then”, he mumbled sheepishly.

“I’m glad. I was so worried you’d get a new one”, Yutaka said.

Shou snorted again, turning towards his friend. His body felt tense and they were sitting close. Yutaka had his shoulder turned sideways and Shou only needed to lean in a little bit for their lips to meet. Not that he was going to do it.

He was going to do the same thing he always did, when the air between them got that heavy feeling and Yutaka was too close and their voices started to get hushed for no specific reason.

He was going to remain entirely still and wait for it to pass.

He did not dare to kiss him and he did not dare to confess. But he did not dare to tell him to take away his hand either. He just couldn’t man up enough for it. All he could do was sit there, with his heart beating in his chest up way too high as if it was trying to climb up through his throat and shout out the words that Shou couldn’t speak.

He wished that it was as simple as it was in the stories; that there would be one last scene, where their eyes locked and both of them would lean forward in silent agreement and where the perfect kiss finally sealed their happily-ever-after.

He looked up.

Their eyes locked.

None of them moved.

There would be no happily-ever-after for them, because Shou knew perfectly well, that he was no Prince Charming.

But if he could steal a kiss – one single kiss, just between the two of them – maybe that would be enough. Maybe his heart would stop out of bliss before Yutaka’s reaction could break it.

He closed his eyes and leaned in like he had imagined so many times.

There would be no way to play it off as a joke afterwards, so he just had to hope that Yutaka would understand, that he would not wreck their friendship and that the hand on his thigh actually meant that he wouldn’t be judged.

Yutaka’s lips were soft and his fingers dug into Shou’s leg, but in a way that was pleasant and encouraging. He held the position, allowing himself to feel all the things that he had never allowed himself to feel before whenever they touched. Always had he been afraid that his face would show all too clearly how he felt, if one day he let his guard down just a fraction.

Now the dam burst and he felt good and excited, but the fluttering in his chest did not stop and it did not change and as he finally pulled back, he still was afraid.

Yutaka’s eyes were close and Shou could see every line on his face, the mole on his cheek and the hair strands sticking to his forehead. He smelled his perfume clearly.

“I’m …”, he began.

“Don’t you dare to apologize”, Yutaka said, louder than necessary so close to his face.

Shou didn’t quite know what to do with that reaction, but he wasn’t left with the time to think about it.

Yutaka grabbed his neck and pulled him close again and this time they were kissing for real. With a smooth movement, Yutaka got on top of him and sat down on his lap straddle legged. His tongue was in Shou’s mouth and the heart in his chest kept beating, but in a strange rhythm as if it had forgotten how it was supposed to work. It stumbled around behind his ribcage as if it desperately tried to remember the choreography to a very complicated dance.

Shou didn’t know where to put his hands. He didn’t know anything but that Yutaka’s mouth was on his, that he tasted hot and wet and slightly salty.

Only when they parted, his brain started to work again, but it wasn’t doing a very good job.

“What …?”, he said.

“I told you, I couldn’t read minds, stupid”, Yutaka scolded him. “I didn’t know if it was okay. But I’ve always wanted to.”

Shou could not ask what exactly he had always wanted to do, because Yutaka reached down and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it over the bedside where it could join all the other dropped pieces of cloth on the floor.

Before Shou could study the body he already knew so well any closer, Yutaka kissed him again, passionately and slightly aggressive. Shou had always thought it would be slow and romantic and hesitant if it ever came to this, but Yutaka wasn’t the type for wasting time once he had set his mind to something.

Shou decided not to protest, because there was no breath left in his lungs anyway and because Yutaka’s skin felt so nice under his hands as he finally dared to touch him.

He ran his fingers over Yutaka’s back, feeling his spine underneath the warm skin. He ran his fingers down his chest, over the nipples that felt surprisingly hard and down to his belly where his body was softer. He stopped as he reached the waistband of his pants, breaking the kiss himself now to look at Yutaka.

Things were happening too fast and his mind didn’t have time to catch up. His legs felt numb with Yutaka’s weight and he realized he was grinning widely without meaning to as if his mouth was no longer his; as if his lips had been stolen away by their kisses.

“Slow down”, he begged, surprised that his voice sounded hoarse and that his lips felt swollen as if indeed Yutaka’s kiss had somehow changed him.

“So you can overthink and ruin this?”, Yutaka assured. “No way.”

He took hold of the hem of Shou’s shirt now and demonstratively pushed it upwards. Obediently Shou lifted his arms and watched the world go dark, before Yutaka’s smiling face reappeared from behind the fabric and his shirt hit the floor as well.

The good thing about Golden Bomber was, that nudity did not make him uncomfortable in the slightest. Whatever disappointment was waiting for him underneath those clothes – Yutaka had already seen it and decided to undress him anyway.

“What if the others come back?”, he whispered, but his resistance was already crumbling as Yutaka ran his hands over his shoulders.

His palms were warm, but the fingertips somewhat cold. It sent goose-bumps down Shou’s spine.

“We’ll tell them we are practicing for a new stage program”, Yutaka mumbled back, leaning in again.

Shou met him halfway and their kiss was slower this time. They had figured out each other’s pace by now, their tongues and lips and hands were slowly falling in sync with one another.

“Naked?”, Shou mumbled against Yutaka’s lips.

Yutaka leaned back a little to reply:

“That’s the authentic part.”

Shou laughed. It wasn’t a polite chuckle or giddy, hushed laughter. It was a real outburst that would have made him want to cover his face in public, the kind of laughing that shook his whole body. It was this quality he had always liked best about Yutaka; aside from everything else. He managed to take Shou by surprise.

He himself was the funny guy. He knew when people where joking. It could still be fun, it could still make him laugh, but it rarely hit him out of nowhere.

The sudden laughter seemed to take a heavy weight off his chest. It still felt tight when he looked at Yutaka, but also incredible wide at the same time. He felt as if he could suck in the whole world with a single breath, because he was happy and invincible, while simultaneously his feelings for Yutaka seemed to take up all the space in his whole body.

Lightly he placed his hand against the side of Yutaka’s face. He wanted to tell him how beautiful he was and how much he adored his features and the shape of his body and the sound of his voice, but he couldn’t just yet.

He felt his brain slowly switching itself back on and he wondered how those kisses would change their relationship and what it would mean for the dynamics of the band. They should take it slow and talk about what both of them wanted and not start something heated and unreasonable in the middle of a tour where there was no way to avoid each other if anything went wrong.

To stop himself from overthinking, he pulled Yutaka close again, kissing his lips and the side of his face. He drew a wet trail up to Yutaka’s ear with his tongue and felt him shudder on top of himself.

Fingers were caressing the side of his chest, wandering down and Yutaka pressed closer against him. The headboard was digging into Shou’s back, so he couldn’t move away, although he didn’t have any intention to do so anyway.

He pushed up his hips teasingly, making Yutaka jolt and chuckle somewhere close to his ear. The sound made Shou willing to stop thinking altogether.

Of course, that was the very moment the shouting started again.

“We’re back! What are you guys doing? Practicing for a new stage program?”

For a moment, Shou just wanted to close his eyes and pretend they were still alone in the room. Maybe he could wish them away, if he just pretended hard enough. He hadn’t even heard the door open.

But Yutaka already turned around on his lap.

“Yes, it’s a completely new concept. Very exciting. It’s something along the line of Why Do You Interrupt Us Having Sex Right Now”, he said, his tone somewhere between annoyed and joking.

“Oh, is that the name for the next tour?”, Kenji asked.

“Doesn’t sound like a completely new concept. More like everything we’ve ever done so far”, Jun criticized.

Now Shou did close his eyes. He needed a short break to collect himself.

“I thought you were at the hospital”, he forced out between gritted teeth.

“We were just talking to the staff downstairs and then waited for the elevator”, Kenji explained.

Shou lunged out at Yutaka and slapped him against the side of his head.

“You made it sound like it was serious! I thought we had several hours before they would come back”, he said.

“Well, Jun screamed like a little girl. I thought we had time”, Yutaka defended himself.

“I only turned my ankle”, Jun huffed.

“Jun always screams like a little girl”, Kenji added.

“You were molesting me again, that’s why”, Jun said, crossing the arms in front of his chest.

“I was hardly molesting you”, Kenji said.

Yutaka nodded and turned towards Shou again.

“He was hardly molesting him”, he agreed.

“Well”, Shou said and rubbed his forehead. He suddenly felt very tired again. He was tired with Jun and Kenji being here and so obviously not caring that they had disturbed them. With Yutaka for also not caring as much as he was supposed to care. And with the situation in general, for they had rushed things and now his emotional compass went crazy, because he didn’t know any more if he felt happy or angry or annoyed or horny and it was all just a big mess.

“Could you maybe give us a moment?”

Yutaka had not moved from his lap and his legs were feeling tired, too.

He caught Kenji looking to and fro between them and then his eyes widening for a fraction. He wasn’t wearing his Kabuki make-up today, so his expression was even easier to read then usual. The corner of his mouth softened a bit as if suddenly he did feel sorry for rushing in like that. It made something inside Shou’s chest soften as well.

“Sure”, Kenji said. “Jun and me will just go for a little walk. We’ll be back in an hour.”

“I don’t want to go for a walk! I turned my ankle”, Jun whined, obviously a little slower to catch on.

Kenji cast him a meaningful look and dragged him towards the door. Even from the corridor, Shou could still hear their arguing voices.

“Would you please?”, he asked and patted against Yutaka’s leg, signalling him to climb down from his lap.

Yutaka gave an annoyed sigh, but climbed down to sit next to him again.

“So you overthought?”, he made sure.

Shou gave a short nod.

“I’m going to kill those idiots”, Yutaka groaned.

Shou chuckled and boxed against his shoulder lightly.

“It’s not just that. We shouldn’t do this. Not right now. The tour is still ongoing and we don’t know where it will lead. It’s reckless.”

Yutaka gave him a grin that looked like the pure definition of reckless.

Smilingly Shou shook his head.

“You know I’m right.”

“As always”, Yutaka sighed.

“But I would love to take you out on a date once the tour final is over”, Shou suggested.

Half an hour ago he wouldn’t have imagined to ever speak those words so easily, but the taste of Yutaka’s lips had made him brave. And maybe just a little bit reckless, too.

“I’d love to take you to my bedroom once the tour final is over”, Yutaka said with an overly emphasized wink.

Shou shook his head and tried to laugh, but down in his stomach he felt a heavy knot that was excitement mixed with nervousness and all of his own insecurities.

Getting carried away had felt so easy just now, but he wasn’t sure about all the sudden sexuality. His thoughts towards Yutaka had always remained on a theoretical level. How attractive he was and that he wanted to be close to him, that he did not want him to be with other people and occasionally he might or might not have thought about him under the shower. But it had never felt like something that would actually happen someday and in his fantasies the scene had usually closed with a romantic kiss and a fade-out. In real life, there was no fade-out and that realization was thrilling and frightening at once.

“And what are we going to do now?”, he asked to change the topic, looking around the room helplessly.

“Now we both lock ourselves in the bathroom separately, I guess”, Yutaka said and made Shou laugh out again with surprise.

He looked at him affectionate, aware that his expression gave away all the things he had never said, but not able to stop himself.

Yutaka shuffled down on the pillows, lying down in bed and looking completely relaxed.

He petted the sheets next to himself.

Hesitantly, Shou slid down as well, lying down on his side. Both their upper bodies were still bare and he could sense the heat of Yutaka’s arm and chest although they were not touching directly.

“So?”, he asked.

Yutaka bend forward and gave him a short peck on the lips. It did not feel as weird as Shou had expected. It felt natural, as if they had done this for a long time already.

“Now, we’re going to take that nap”, Yutaka said. “It must be tiring to worry all the time.”

Shou closed his eyes. He had longed for a short break all day long. Indeed, he felt tired with everything.

Yutaka took his hand, their fingers entwined casually.

Shou had thought he would never be able to sleep with Yutaka this close to himself, but his head was already foggy with supressed slumber.

While drifting off to sleep, he thought that this was actually a lot nicer than what he had longed for. This was solitude and silence – made for two.

* Honestly, I have no idea. In my head, Kyan and Kenji just sound like that xD

#golden bomber #kirikyan #Kiryuuin Shou #kirisho #kyan yutaka #darvish kenji #utahiroba jun #fanfiction #fanfic

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misscrawfords · 6 years

Text

Well, I saw The Last Jedi...

HERE BE SPOILERS

(Also - I will be tagging all posts with “spoilers” and “tlj spoilers” for you to avoid. However, from now on this blog is NOT SPOILER FREE and I can’t guarantee that something might not slip past by accident. Proceed at your own risk.

Okay, I’ve just got back and my head is whirling so don’t expect complex analysis.

However, I’ve been chatting with the lovely ladies in the spoiler zone of the Reylo discord chat and that’s helping me clarify my thoughts a lot.

So basic reactions first in no particular order:

- I am now in love with Poe Dameron. I now ship Damerey. I don’t know how this happened.

- There’s a bit in the soundtrack that is basically the finale of Sibelius’ 2nd Symphony. No1 curr I know but I’m intrigued.

- There was way too much going on in this film. It was like a later HP book - some great things happening individually but overall I just want to kick it because there was too much and it was easy to lose sight of the heart of it and its message because there was YET ANOTHER BATTLE and yet another subplot and character development for a minor character. I’m really frustrated.

- Since when was Hux such an awesome character!? I loved how he was played for laughs but honestly this is absolutely Draco-in-leather-pants. Kylux is literally a Cassandra Clare fanfiction. What is life.

- Several deus ex machina moments that made me go “hmm”. Floaty sky princess? Um, okay. That was unnecessary and a bit weird. Felt like a cringey tribute to Carrie Fisher and then she was knocked out for most of the film. I have problems with that entire narrative arc. To be explored later. Also Force ghost Yoda. Really?

- WTF was that child doing at the end? I’m so confused. My instant reaction is to be suspicious and annoyed. If that child grows up to have the Force and takes away from Rey then I will be so annoyed. Also, we don’t need more characters. We really, really don’t!

- I was disappointed in Rose and Finn. I just... I just didn’t care. Because, once again, there was too much going on. Their whole storyline felt tacked on. Like, there were elements I really liked. I loved the whole weapons dealing in space concept - it was blatant but really good. We were basically in space Saudi Arabia and I loved that and I loved the code breaker who betrayed them for money. It was a more interesting and morally grey update of the bounty hunter concept and I really loved it. Also it fitted very well with the overarching theme of both sides being flawed and the profit of war and it all being kind of pointless in a way. BUT there was too much of it and I feel like they could have shown that message and done Canto Bight somehow without so much subplot that really distracted from the main heart of the film. I’ll need to think about this further and how I would have preferred it to go. Also at the end, I was really annoyed at Rose for saving Finn. Like, I 100% did NOT want Finn to sacrifice himself - NO SIR - but Rose stopped him potentially saving the whole Resistance by taking out that gun. Like, strategically it was dumb since Finn had committed to doing that. (I’m sorry, I’m such a cool-headed Slytherin, but it’s true!) I don’t know where to go from here for these two characters and I didn’t really buy the romance. Perhaps I would have done if there HADN’T BEEN SO MUCH DAMN STUFF GOING ON.

- It was really funny. Like, I was not expecting the humour. Especially over the First Order. But seriously, the FO run by played-for-laughs Hux and emotionally unstable Kylo is not exactly going to be a slick administration, right? It’s a recipe for disaster! (Sorry, Hermione Granger brain taking over again.)

- SHIRTLESS KYLO FANSERVICE. what even

- Every single “inappropriate use of the Force” fic is now canon.

- I kind of need to do a separate post about my Reylo thoughts and feelings, but suffice to say I am actually very conflicted, as I am about most of the film. Everything that happened made total sense in terms of character development and as a continuation of TFA and I applaud that and yet I feel uneasy. I also felt a lack of romantic/sexual chemistry between them that the film could have built up with music and other techniques, even despite shirtless Kylo and the HANDTOUCHING SCENE OMG WHAT IS LIFE. I’m not saying that there isn’t a basis for something to develop in IX but I was left feeling... I don’t actually know. THERE WAS TOO MUCH GOING ON AROUND THEM. I need to watch it again. I may pick up on things on a second viewing I didn’t see this time.

- SAVE BEN SOLO. Honestly, I have no idea what is going on. The film is massively pushing a redemption arc in its plot and what everyone around Kylo is saying. And every time he has the opportunity to fall in with this, HE DOES THE EXACT OPPOSITE. He’s not the only one being torn apart tbh. I don’t understand what the film wants me to think about this. (This isn’t about me analysing it, it’s about an initial reaction to feeling that I don’t know what the film is doing. It seems to be saying “Redeem Ben Solo! It can happen! That’s where this is going!” at the same time as “Kylo Ren is a monster and is turning into the Big Bad of this trilogy” which I don’t really believe but also I just do not see how he can come back from where he is.) But oh my goodness, his was the performance to watch. And he is still the centre and heart of the trilogy, as he should be as the new Skywalker.

- Speaking of Skywalkers... I loved Luke. He was so incredibly “Luke” and yet different. Is it what I’d expected? From what I’d heard and the marketing, yes. From his character as I previously understood it, I’ll have to watch the OT again. I think it probably works. It’s interesting. And Mark Hamill was absolutely fantastic. I really loved the flashbacks and the explanation of the destruction of the school and how it was a horrible, horrible misunderstanding. Best way out. Really tragic. And I like how the adults are taking responsibility for what happened to Ben. But also, like, the choices he makes now are his own. And they are terrible, terrible choices??? Not just morally terrible but also just, like, terrible. Poorly thought out...

- And yet, to me, the most true thing anyone said at any point was Ben’s speech to Rey when he asked her to join him about needing the whole old order to be swept away and replaced. It just... it really does? I felt such a feeling of relief. Like, the legacy is so strong in these characters. They need to get away from their past and the mistakes of the past and the burdens of the past. And that’s shown with the Resistance story but also with the Jedi story. Kylo’s way of doing this is all wrong, of course, but his ideas and vision is right and true. And I feel like this needs to happen! I don’t know HOW Ben can be pulled back from all the awful decisions he is continually making and the fact that he is squandering every single chance he gets, but I just feel like the only ending that is truly satisfying is Rey and Kylo starting from scratch again with a clean slate.

- Which is why Rey Nobody is so important. Whether Kylo is telling the truth or not about her parentage, she’s not a Skywalker. Or a Solo. Or anyone from the OT. And that is so necessary and important.

- I have no idea whether to talk about Kylo Ren or Ben Solo.

- Before watching it I kind of wanted Rey and Kylo to leave together on nobody’s side but their own but watching I realised that she would never leave with Kylo. She will only leave with Ben. But he is refusing to be that person so I don’t know if it can happen. But it also has to happen. Because if Kylo dies in an act of redemption (which is what I always thought would be his fate after TFA) then Rey is left alone again and there is no balance. Sure she has her Resistance friends whom she loves and who love her and that is GREAT, I’m not knocking it, but they don’t understand her. They build up the Force bond, they build up the fact that neither is alone because they have each other, they see their future with each other (and even if that is a manipulation of Snoke’s, he is showing them what they want to see so it is still true) - and then Kylo dies and Rey is all alone as the Last Jedi after being alone all her life. And like, yes, found family and all but... it’s just. Why set all of that up? I’m just incredibly conflicted.

- I’m going to spend the next two years trying to understand all of this by writing Poe/Rey/Ben love triangle fic. Because I loved that moment of chemistry between Rey and Poe and I think he is kind of like the hero she wants but she’s got this connection to Ben and she’s got to deal with that but I think a transitional period in which she awakens to romantic/sexual feelings via Poe would be very important to her. Because I think one of the issues I have with seeing Reylo in this movie is that Rey is just so forceful and determined on one thing that she is not thinking in terms of romance or anything like that at all. There’s just nothing coming off her in that sense - until she sees Poe. And I’m conflicted between what the symbolism is in the film and what the characters actually do. Symbolically and mythologically Reylo is the only answer. But the acting and the characters of them as psychologically realised individuals is problematic to me. I don’t know if any of that makes sense, it’s 1.33am now.

- So on the topic of Rey will only go with Ben and not with Kylo, Ben has to save himself. Rey MUSTN’T, for the sake of feminist narratives everywhere, this cannot become a “bad boy saved by the love of a good woman” story, and I don’t think it is because Kylo is rejected every attempt Rey is making to change him. When he does do something “good”, it is of his own volition. The throne room and killing Snoke, for instance, (also, I totally called that as something that could happen, not that I did it here so I can’t prove it - ah well!), he didn’t do because of Rey directly. So he has to work that out for himself but I have no idea how he is going to do it. I mean, sure Rey can be part of this process and even the catalyst, but she can’t do it for it.

- I’m still so confused by the ending. Were Rey and Kylo looking at each other? I’ve seen people say he was kneeling in front of her, but I’m confused because I thought he was in the main part of the base and they were in the Falcon somewhere in the salt mountains? And also I thought Leia was still on the ground and I was convinced she was going to stay behind and see Kylo but then she was on the Falcon and were Kylo and Rey just staring at each other? I’m confused. I think this may have been a meaningful moment but I was just trying to work out where they all were and what was going on.

SO over all. Overall, I enjoyed lots of it but I don’t think it was a great movie. There was simply too much of it and ultimately I think there was a really fascinating and subtle story surrounding Luke, Kylo/Ben, Leia and Rey with juicy goodies like Force Bonds and grey morality and growing up and growing old (for all that Yoda’s appearance made me roll my eyes, I loved the line about the roll of the master being to be outgrown or whatever it was because as a teacher it’s just, yeah... it meant a lot). But this great and interesting and new take on the SW universe was being lost in battle after battle and confusing Resistance politics and overlong subplots that went nowhere (Finn and Rose didn’t even succeed?! What was the POINT) and an attempt to shoehorn in this fascinating story into a generic SW movie about the plucky band of Resistance fighters and the big bad Empire that we’ve seen too many times before.

LET. THE. PAST. DIE. I’m over that plot and I’m just annoyed because it has the makings of a great movie but I’m just left feeling too much was going on and I’m confused about the bits I really wanted to focus on and linger over.

Anyway, going to see it again on Wednesday with school and I am going to really, really focus on Reylo and trying to find the possibilities for romance so that if nothing else I have fodder for fanfic!

#Star Wars #The Last Jedi #spoilers #tlj spoilers #reylo #I lied #these are not a few initial thoughts #this is a living example of tl;dr #sorry #I have lots of thoughts #most of them make NO SENSE

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