#of the end of sammy's life. when he was in so much pain he was just Screaming. and it was 3 am and i was so so alone. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

little-diable · 11 months

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Texas - Dean Winchester

I had to post this today, simply because I'm so so so obsessed with the header @deathofpeaceofmind created and y'all needed to see it. This is sad, but please give it a chance (I know y'all don't like reading my angsty fics). Lyrics from the song "Texas" by Jessie Murph. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this. Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: When a fling turns into something more, but life forces you to part ways.

Warnings: 18+, smut, oral (f), angst, heartbreak, crying

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader (about 2k words)

You got all the good shit, and I got consequences, I'm cold, I'm lost, I'm ruined, and you go back to Texas

The sun was drenching the sky in a deep orange, a colour so vivid, Dean wasn‘t sure if he was awake or still caught in a dream. Silence engulfed him and Sammy, only Baby‘s sounds echoed through the air, doing little to drown out the confusion ringing in his ears, the messy thoughts he couldn’t shake off.

It hadn’t even been an hour since Dean had parted from her, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, not daring to wake her as he left her apartment behind, very well knowing he won’t ever get to see her again. Her, the woman that had instantly caught his attention the second he had entered that one godforsaken bar two weeks ago. Her, the woman that had ended up in Baby‘s backseat only hours after Dean had bought her the first of many drinks to come. Her, the woman his heart had called out to, and was now mourning.

Fuck, he had been stupid, so unbelievably stupid, and yet he hadn’t been able to pull away. He should have left her that night, shouldn’t have exchanged phone numbers, but he hadn’t been able to let her go, not without knowing that he’d get to see her again soon. (Y/n) had taken his heart hostage like a wanderer getting lost in unknown territories, ending up in the grasp of their enemy.

But fate had never been kind to Dean Winchester, he hadn't been created to live a life filled with love, no, he was following the call of death, of all things coming to an end. An end (y/n) wouldn't see for years to come.

“Dean,” Sammy spoke his brother's name, carefully – just a whisper, not daring to rip his brother out of his trance without a warning, not used to seeing his piercing green eyes filled with tears. “It’s about her, isn’t it?”

Dean couldn’t help but scoff, cursing his brother for asking a question this stupid. Of course it was about her, about (y/n), the woman his drunken self would probably have married if their paths had crossed in Vegas. Sammy wasn’t oblivious, he had shared a few conversations with (y/n), understanding why Dean was that intrigued by her. And yet he still found himself surprised about the way Dean was now reacting to their departure.

(Y/n) certainly hadn’t been the first woman Dean had found himself crushing on, certainly not the first he had wanted to stick around, but something was different this time. Something so awfully heartbreaking the older Winchester brother directed all his anger towards his stupid heart. Fuck, could one even fall in love, within a few hours, days?

You came in like a one-man show, out of town, had a couple years on me, knew that shit I didn't know, and it felt so real that I couldn't let go, while you ran me around like a motherfuckin' rodeo

While Dean was driving through blurring by towns and areas he had crossed before, (y/n) was still laying in her bed, glassy eyes directed up ahead, staring at her ceiling. Her heart was clenching in her chest, a pain so unfamiliar (y/n)’s mind began to wonder if the past two weeks had happened or if it had just been a trick of her bored brain.

Dean Winchester had ripped her heart from her chest, linking his together with hers to form a bond that was now pushing her into soaring waves of sadness, of confusion, and of anger. It felt like those movies, the ones she'd cry about on days where everything got too much and she needed to let go of the sadness bottled up inside of her. Stupid movies that had now caught up with her. She was paying the price of a crime she hadn't committed. But perhaps it had been her fault after all, perhaps it had been her fault for falling in love with a man she barely knew. A man with eyes so green her mind took her back to her childhood days, the carefree hours where she'd get lost in meadows and forests she no longer visited.

How dare he let go, how dare he leave her behind without saying much but a halfhearted apology that now rang in her ears like a song she couldn’t stop thinking of.

With her eyes squeezed shut, (y/n) tried to get rid of her memories, trying to forget the past two weeks that have felt all too real, so full of an emotion she had stopped believing in years ago. An unlucky try that only pushed her further into her misery.

“Don’t you dare close your eyes, darling.” Fuck, that grin would be the death of her. Dean was hovering over her, pressing (y/n) further into the comfortable mattress of her big bed. He was nestling between her thighs, tongue running through her folds with skilled movements, very well knowing how to touch a woman. (Y/n) didn’t allow her thoughts to focus on the women he had once touched, wondering who had taught him to eat out a woman like this, rather trying to relish in the warm contact, on the orgasm that was slowly but surely coming upon her.

“Christ, you’re too good at this.” Her voice trembled, eyes struggling to stay open, focused on his handsome features, on the freckles lingering on his skin like star formations filling the night sky. A view so breathtakingly beautiful one couldn’t help but marvel at it.

One of his hands found hers, interlacing their fingers to hold onto her as (y/n) let go, back arched off her mattress, toes curled. An intense sensation swapped through her, filling every pore of her trembling body, making her choke on her cries as if this was the first time she ever got to experience something like this.

Her heart was roaring in her chest, a sound so unfamiliar (y/n)’s mind wondered if she was still caught in her own body. But Dean didn’t give her any time to ponder over her thoughts, crawling up her body with a smirk growing on his lips, kissing her before another breath could be inhaled into her aching lungs. She could taste herself on his tongue, once again reminded of their closeness, of the bond (y/n) found herself clinging to, praying that Dean wouldn’t ever leave her again.

“Ready for another round?”

A cry wrecked through her, hands holding her face, trying to dry the tears that wouldn’t stop rolling. The pain that stuck to her was too much for her body, not knowing how to get rid of it, how to let go of the waves that tried to pull her under, drowning the helpless woman. Fuck, Dean Winchester had broken her heart, without even giving her one good explanation.

You go back to Texas like it didn't happen, like I'm not here with all of this mess, and you drunk and out and you wildin' out

“Does she know?” Once again did Sammy’s voice break the silence, not used to sitting in Baby without any music rumbling through the speakers. Dean’s eyes hadn’t left the road once, not looking at his younger brother once – no matter how much Sammy moved in his seat, trying to catch his brother’s gaze.

“No.” It was one simple word. A word that pieced together the puzzle, finally falling into place, though so suddenly, without another warning. Deep down Sammy had hoped that Dean had explained their profession to (y/n), something that would tie the two together, giving them a reason to cross paths again.

“But why? She would have understood. What did you say to her?” Pain. An emotion so blinding began to fill Dean’s system, forcing the memory of yesterday evening to resurface.

“What do you mean by one last time?” (Y/n) was placed in Dean’s lap, naked body pressed against his. The two had shared a kiss that had left them breathless seconds ago, a sensation that had been interrupted by Dean’s words, forcing (y/n) to halt in her movements.

“We are leaving tomorrow morning, Sammy and I.” She froze, trying to search his eyes – without any luck. Dean had his green eyes focused on her hands, fumbling with the fingers that had touched every inch of his body in the past days. He didn’t dare meet her gaze, very well aware of the pain that was now swimming in her pupils, the same emotion he tried to swallow down. An unlucky try that left him choking on the breaths trying to suffocate him.

“What? Don’t fuck with me, Dean.” She let go of him, crawling from his lap to reach for her oversized shirt, suddenly feeling the urge to hide herself from his eyes. It took him another breath to reply, trying to sort through his thoughts.

“We got another job offer we had to take, I’m sorry.” Tears welled up in her eyes, raising her hands to momentarily cover her face and the expression of pain tugging on her features. An uncomfortable silence began to fill her bedroom, the room that had been filled with sounds of pleasure just minutes ago.

“I, uhm, I need a few moments.” Her quivering limbs did little to support her, guiding (y/n) out of her bedroom, away from Dean and the tears welling up in his eyes only just now.

“There’s nothing to understand, Sam. Our lives aren’t made for relationships, I’d rather have her hate me than end up hurt because of this fucking shitshow we are damned with.” Dean’s voice had a dangerous growl to it, trying to stop the conversation before he’d start overthinking once again. He had made his peace, even though he wasn’t able to swallow down his pain rising in his throat like bile.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I really am.”

“Will you stay for a bit longer?” Her whispers reverberated through the quiet bedroom, head placed on his chest, getting lost in the uneven beats of his heart. His big hand stroked her spine, forcing goosebumps to rise on her skin.

“Of course.” Dean had a hard time speaking up, trying not to choke on the sadness he was overwhelmed with. Both knew that he’d leave in a few hours, forcing (y/n) to wake in an empty bed, hand searching for the warm body she’d never forget.

“Thank you, Dean.” Both knew that she wasn’t just thanking him for sticking around for a few hours longer. Both knew that she was thanking him for the love he had elicited deep inside of her. Both knew that she was thanking him for the time he had spent with her, momentarily making her forget about the struggles both were stuck in.

“I’d do it all over again.”

You got all the good shit, and I got consequences, I'm cold, I'm lost, I'm ruined, and you go back to Texas

#Dean Winchester smut #Dean Winchester imagine #supernatural imagine #dean winchester x reader

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love-yourself-first-tfw · 1 year

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Hard to Love - Part Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Prompt: Curing Dean isn’t easy but in the end, it’s worth it.

Word Count: 3596

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Crying, soft!Dean.

Author’s Note: Last part, I feel like this ending way better than it started but let me know what you think!

Part One

Sitting outside the door to the dungeon, hearing Dean taunt his brother, listening to all the things Sam did to try and get Dean back.

Using a drunk, weak man to summon a crossroad demon and then torture said demon for information. A scream comes from Dean before a clattering that makes you flinch into the walls, digging your nails into your thighs.

“Let me ask you this, Sammy: If this doesn’t work, we both know what you got to do to me, right?” Dean roars at him, “you got the stomach for that, Sam?!”

The door slams behind Sam as he walks into the hall, looking at you on the ground. He slides down next to you and gives you a sad smile, whispering into your hair when your head lands on his shoulder, “I hope I’m not doing this for nothing.”

“Me too.”

Dean’s pain is evident in his yelling now, his voice weak after the shot. You’d gone into the room with Sam, standing against the wall near the door, keeping your eyes on the furious man in the middle. The last shot leaves his head hanging, his chin touching his chest as he tries to breathe.

“Sam?” His panic-stricken face scares you. His hand lifts his phone to his ear, holding a finger up to you as he walks into the hallway.

Dean looks worse than Crowley did, a whole lot worse. While his chest was moving when Sam left the room, it stopped in the last few seconds. Without thinking about the fear from before, you move toward Dean.

“Dean?” His skin is cold to your touch, bringing your hands to his cheeks, and tapping lightly. “Hey, come on. Come back.”

“No.” It’s only a whisper but it feels like a shout, his breath hitting your bare shoulder. It’s been almost a year since you’d been this close to Dean or been able to touch him.

“I’m sorry this hurts so much but you don’t want this. You’ve never wanted this.” Your hands fall from his face when he looks up at you, Sam walking into the room again.

“Dean, you okay?” Sam pulls you back by your shoulder, protecting you behind him.

“Yeah, if you … consider drowning in your own sweat while your blood boils ‘okay.’” A cough-- more of a choke-- is followed by Sam’s sigh.

“Look, I can’t just stop.”

“Sure, you can. You just stop! There’s no point in trying to bring your brother back now.”

I guess this is as close as we get to Dean pleading to be let go.

“I will get my brother back.”

“In fact, your uh… guilt-ridden, weight-of-the-world bro has been M.I.A. for quite some time now. But I’m loving the new model: Lean, mean, Dean. Do you notice I tried to get as far away from you as possible? Away from your whining and your complaining. I chose the King of Hell over you! Maybe I was just … tired of babysitting you. Or always having to yank your lame ass out of the fire since … ”

Dean laughs at Sam, the strongest he’s seemed in hours. “Forever. Or maybe … Maybe it was the fact that my mother would still be alive if it wasn’t for you. That your very existence sucked the life out of my life! (Y/N) got the hint. Why couldn’t you.”

You both know this isn’t Dean this is the Demon trying to do anything to get his way, but it still hurts to hear. You watch as Sam stays silent and refills another syringe with purified blood.

“Oh. Ooh. Is this you manning up?”

“This is me yanking your lame ass out of the fire.” Sam jabs the needle into Dean’s arm. “You’re welcome.”

He gasps out in a pain that hurts you, making you want to go to him again, but Sam grabs your elbow, leading you out to the hallway.

“C’mon. We don’t need to be in here anymore. I’ll just come back to give him the dose. We can go have something to eat.”

You look back at the dungeon door before nodding to Sam, following him to the kitchen, and standing against the island.

“What were you doing in Colorado?”

“Working, trying to fake being a normal human, I haven’t hunted since I left.” You shrug and take the water bottle that Sam passes to you. “Just trying to stay under the radar, I guess.”

An old habit in times of stress comes up as you slowly peel the label off the bottle, tearing it into small ribbons. “When did Dean turn? When did Metatron kill him?”

“About a month after you left.” Sam crosses his arms, looking over you as you stare at the floor, tapping your toe every once in a while.

“He was fine that last hunt when you stayed home-- or planned your escape, but that’s beside that point. He was fine and then I found your note when we got back. I thought he’d be fine; with the way he was treating you, why would he? But he freaked out. He left and didn’t come back for like, three days. I want you to know that I’m not judging you for deciding to do that. For leaving.”

“He left?”

“Yeah, came back covered in blood and wouldn’t tell me what happened, just shoved me aside and then cleaned up and acted like nothing happened.” He rubs his forehead, sipping on the water. “He just let bloodlust go, he didn’t stop when he should have. Then Metatron, I thought he was dead, then he was gone.”

“Did you do those things he said you did? To find him?”

Sam’s head hangs in shame, nodding to your question, “Yeah. I couldn’t... He would’ve done it for me. I couldn’t just leave him.”

“I know, Sam. You’re right.” You tap your foot in quick succession, looking at the door. “C’mon, I want to show you something. I don’t know if it’s still there, but I want to try.”

He follows you to Dean’s door, watching you as you push the door open. “He kept pictures in here when we were together at least.”

The room is just how you expect it, guns hanging on the wall and a slice of half-eaten pie that sits atop a pile of papers. Your heart thrums painfully as you see the handwritten notes; Dean trying to work something out.

You flip over a page in a notepad to see pictures of Dean and Mary, Mary and John, Sam, Dean, and Bobby, and two pictures of Sam and Dean. Sam has tears in his eyes as he looks at the pictures of himself and his brother. A smile at the memories forms before he looks at you, trying to seem as though you weren’t hurting in this situation too.

“He looked at them a lot. He loves you, Sam. There is no doubt in my mind that he would do anything for you. I’m sure he wants to keep you as safe as you want him.”

You ignore the feelings coming up when you don’t see the pictures that marked moments in your relationship with Dean. The ones that held bright smiles and love that slowly faded. Sam looks around the room, seeing the perfectly made bed. A piece of blue fabric, sticking out from under Dean’s pillow, catches his attention. Sam drops the photos back to the table, pulling the corner of the pillow up, and revealing the much-too-small-for-Dean t-shirt.

“Oh.” Shock is evident in your voice when you whisper, “I forgot about that.”

“It’s yours?” Sam picks up the shirt, looking at the design, an arrow below the words ‘I’m with stupid’, and quirks his eyebrow up at you.

“Yeah, Dean bought it for me when we had our first date. Wouldn’t shut up until I put it on.” Sam has teary eyes when you look back at him, giving you a sad smile to go along with them.

Staying in Dean’s room when Sam tells you he’s going to give Dean his next dose of blood. Fingers grazing the bedsheets before you sit down, breathing in the smell you left behind; a dizzying oak and whiskey consuming your nose.

Startled by Sam entering the room suddenly, wide eyes and panic written all over his face. “C’mon follow me and don’t make any noise.”

You whisper in response to Sam’s low voice, “what happened?”

“Dean got out. He isn’t in the dungeon anymore.” Sam grabs a knife from the nightstand, peaking out the door to make sure the coast is clear.

He slides against the wall, looking back at you to see you following his movement, a knife in your hand as well. He enters the kitchen just as Dean’s yell echoes through the bunker.

“Come on, Sammy! Don’t you want to hang out with your big brother? Spend a little quality time? Or why don’t you leave little (Y/N) for me, promise I’ll leave you alone.”

Loud slamming comes after his jeering, doors hitting walls in Dean’s demonic search to kill Sam and most likely you if you can’t stop him. He motions to the keys on the counter, keeping his eye on the doorways, and clueing you in on his plan.

The both of you rush to get to the control room and shut the power down to the whole place, red lights begin flashing, and an alarm goes with them.

“Smart, guys! Locking the place down. Doors won’t open. I get it. But here’s the thing: I don’t want to leave! Not ‘til I find you.”

You trip trying to get into position, a chair tumbling to the ground behind you, clattering to the ground.

“Oh, by the way, you can, uh… blame yourselves for me getting loose. All that blood you pumped into me to make me human… Well. The less demon I was, the less the cuffs worked. And that Devil’s Trap? Well, I just walked right across it. It stung, but still.”

Dean’s voice gets closer to you as he walks toward the control room. He flips the power back on when he is inside, the power surging back to life, and signaling your mad dash to pull the door closed.

Your shaking hands lock it before throwing the keys to the side, sending a weary look at Sam.

“That’s your big move?” Dean’s laugh is hollow, making a shiver run up your spine.

“Listen to me, Dean! We were getting close, okay? I know you’re still in there somewhere. Just let me finish the treatments.” Dean stays quiet, worrying both of you. “Dean?”

You stumble back with Sam as a large splinter flies from the door. Dean continues to hit the door with the weapon he wields, making a crack in the wood that he can look through.

“You act like I want to be cured. Personally, I like the disease.”

With another swing of the hammer, more wood flies from the door.

“Dean, stop! I don’t want to use this blade on you.” He is holding the demon knife, ready to defend himself when Dean comes at him.

You watch as Dean mocks his words, an exaggerated frown on his lips. “That sucks for you, doesn’t it? ‘Cause you really mean that!”

Shaky and unsure of your words, you speak your thoughts, “We won’t have a choice if you come after us.”

“Sure you will! And I know which one you’ll make. Isn’t that right? But see… Here’s the thing: I’m lucky. Oh, hell, I’m blessed! ‘Cause, there’s just enough demon left in me that killing you? Ain’t no choice at all.”

Sam grabs your hand, pulling you away from the madman just as he gets all the way through the door. Your bare feet slap the ground as you run behind him, trying to keep up with his long strides. Breathing hard when you finally stand against one of the walls, trying to listen and watch for Dean.

A scream gets stuck in your throat-- the noise more of a whimper than anything-- when Dean swings and misses Sam’s head with the hammer, lodging it in the wall. You watch Sam push the demon blade to Dean’s neck, the hammer stuck in the wall next to your head.

You tear your eyes away at the heart-wrenching scene in front of you.

“Well… Look at you. Do it. It’s all you.” The knife hits the ground, Sam’s hand dropping, unable to do the thing he’s been trying to avoid: killing Dean. When he lunges, Sam steps back, his body hitting yours, the wall of muscle sending you to the ground like a rock.

A few seconds of silence before Dean’s surprised grunt makes you turn your head, with the new player on your team appearing behind Dean. Sam helps you up, an apology coming out before you are on your feet.

“It’s okay, Sam, I’m fine.” Your ankle twisted in a way you were sure was wrong and a black eye is inevitable with how his elbow was shoved into your face, but right now it’s about Dean and saving him.

“It’s over.” Cas’ deep voice barrels over you, his grace glowing blue in his eyes. “It’s over, Dean.”

Defeated and angrier than before, Dean yells and tries to thrash away from Cas, trying to get away from the chair in the dungeon as the two men strap him down once again.

After a few hours of Dean screaming again, this time in pain as he gets stuck with a needle in his arm, he is slumped forward and breathing heavily, passed out from the last round.

Sam stresses, looking at his worn-down brother. “What the hell are we doing to him, Cas? I mean, even after I gave him all that blood, he still said he didn’t want to be cured, that he didn’t want to be human.”

“Well… I see his point. You know, only humans can feel real joy, but … also such profound pain. This is easier.” You nod along with the angel, understanding what he means and agreeing with his logical thinking.

You look at Dean when his head rises, black eyes taking over before fading to the forest green you love so much.

Sam unscrews the flask of holy water, waiting for another demonic outburst. “You look worried, guys.”

Sam splashes Dean, hearing no sizzle or screams from Dean, he smiles. The first happy one you’ve seen since you’ve been back. “Welcome back, Dean.”

The green orbs connect with yours, a twinge of regret on his face when he sees how run-down you look. When Sam unties Dean, he rubs his wrists and takes a step toward you, stopping when you step back. A searing pain shoots up your leg from your ankle when you step your full weight onto it, steading yourself with the wall.

He looks hurt at your reaction but steps away as Sam helps you. “What happened? Jesus, when did you get a black eye?”

You shrug Sam’s hands off you, ignoring his questions to look at Dean, trying to convey that you aren’t scared of him. “It wasn’t you, Dean. Sam fell into me.”

He has his head lowered to his chest, defeat clear in his body language. Despite what anguish he had caused you, you wanted him to know that it was not his fault.

Sam helps Dean to his room while you and Cas sit in the library and look through the Book of Demonic Possession. You wait for Sam, tapping your fingers on the table, impatiently, until he appears.

“Hey.” He reaches the stairs, no ounce of worry on his face.

“How’s he doing?” You blurt out instead of any other questions.

“He’s uh … He’s still a little out of it, but better, I think. I mean, I think this whole thing—the blood cure, and the … all of it—really wrecked him, you know? On the plus side, he’s hungry again, so I’m just going to go pick him up a big ol’ bag of crap food and stuff it in his face myself.”

Cas agrees, “Yeah. Sam? You realize one problem is solved, but one still remains. Dean is no longer a demon, that’s true. But the Mark of Cain… that, he still has. And sooner or later, that’s going to be an issue.”

You tried to ignore the deep red scar in the dungeon, hoping it would fade away as he was cured but no such luck to be had.

“You know what, Cas? I’m beat, man. One battle at a time, you know? So I’m just gonna go grab my brother some cholesterol. And then, I’m gonna get drunk.”

“Ditto, can you pick me up something? A greasy burger sounds good right now.” Being drunk and full would be so nice after the day you’ve had.

“Duh, I wouldn’t forget about you.”

You stand in front of Dean’s door, contemplating the idea of knocking and talking to the cured man. Sam hadn’t left that long ago, leaving you with Cas before he goaded you into taking the short walk to Dean’s room.

With a deep breath, you let your knuckles hit the door, hearing his voice through the door. “Yeah?”

You step inside, close the door and lean against it with your hands behind your butt, trying to keep your weight on your good leg.

“Hi.” The bags under his eyes are worse than they were an hour ago, skin pale and flush while sitting on his bed, trying to look relaxed but you know him too well. “You look terrible.”

Dean chuckles, a glint in his eyes, different-- better than before. “You know, it wouldn’t kill ya to lie.”

You hum, looking at the once cream-colored carpet, now streaked with dirt from almost a century of use. Your fingers tap against the door, trying to get the right words out. “No, it wouldn’t but I’ve never lied to you before, why start now?”

Dean stands, stepping in front of you. “Well, you, on the other hand, you… Look good.”

“Thanks, Dean.”

You raise your head. Dean’s face hardens at your face, hand going to your cheek. Turning your head into his hand, relishing the comfort that you’d longed for, tears stinging your closed eyes. He whispers apologies, bringing you closer and into his arms.

“Did you ask Cas to heal you?”

You shrug, shaking your head on his chest, “No. It’s stolen grace. I don’t want him to drain himself.”

“Okay, sit down then. I want to see your ankle.” He is gentle with his words as he guides you to the chair, wrapping his arm around your waist.

You wince when you sit down, biting down on your lip when he starts to roll your sweats up. Purple and blue blotches cover your foot, twitching away from Dean’s fingertips as they graze the swollen limb.

“Fuck, sweetheart. That’s a doozy.” You want to cry at the pet name but you focus on the pain. He rolls up the fabric so it stays in place, seeing more marks spreading up your leg. “You look like you were hit by a linebacker.”

“I mean, compared to me, he is a linebacker so, checks out.”

You get a hearty laugh from Dean, standing from his squatting position. “You got me there. I’m gonna get you an ice pack.”

“You don’t have to. You don’t have to take care of me.”

“(Y/N). Stop, I want to. You shouldn’t be in this position at all.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry for what I did and said... Or didn’t say. I just want you to know that.”

“Okay.” Slumping back into the chair and watching him leave, you think about how fast your life changed, for the better. But you love these boys. A family that chose you. And you left. In a time of need, hurt, and worry, you just tucked tail and ran, a coward.

You cough through the first sob but when Dean reenters the room you are hyperventilating into your cries. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong? You’re gonna be fine, sweetheart.”

You shake your head, trying to breathe, talk, and cry all at once. “No, I left.”

“Calm down, I don’t understand.” He sets the items down on the floor, squatting in front of you. “I know you left, I know why you left. I’m not angry with you.”

“I-I-” You have to stop and collect yourself to continue. “I shouldn’t have.”

“You know that’s what I wanted, right? I was too weak to tell you that you deserve more in every way possible so I didn’t tell you anything. And it worked, too well. I’m sorry I did that. Don’t be sorry for leaving, I made you do that.”

“I missed you.” You wipe your nose with your sleeve, trying to stop the tears. “Not just when I left; I’ve never felt so alone with someone next to me. I missed you so much.”

“I know, I’m sorry, baby.” He cups the back of your head, letting you stuff your face into the crook of his neck. “I’m sorry. I love you and I’m so sorry.”

Thinking you’d never hear those words from him again, you respond quickly. “I love you. I don’t want to leave again.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Just don’t shut me out, please.”

“I promise. I’m here for as long as you’ll have me, I’m not making that mistake again.”

#dean winchester #demon!dean #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester angst #Sam Winchester #sammy #castiel one shot #castiel #supernatural #supernatural imagine #supernatural one shot #dean winchester is an idiot

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samsgff · 1 month

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*Using the events of s5 with a little bit of alternations*

⚠️ tw for suicide nd alcoholism ⚠️

Once Sam jumped into the hole dean felt like he was stabbed right through the heart.

Days, weeks, months had gone by and Dean was still grieving. See everyone has their own way of grieving Dean's way was to rot at Bobby's house, he did not move an inch from his bed, he let himself drown completely in his sorrow. Bobby tried his best to convince him to go on hunting trips with him and constantly told him it'll help, but dean's only reply was "I'm done".

Day after day, the bottles of boose kept increasing, but drinking was his only escape. It was his way to numb the pain, it was his way to fill in the void inside of him that kept growing ever since the incident. It was his way to be at peace, it allowed him to sleep without rewatching his brother jump to his death. However some coping mechanisms lose their purpose at some point. The alcohol was not doing it for the now only child winchester, even so he tried to keep on going but what was left for him to hang on to if the only person he ever cared for was gone? And so one night, when Bobby was out, Dean went looking for some pills and since he knew Bobby more than his own father he knew exactly where he kept them so it didn't take much time for him to find those colorful tablets. He wrote a farewell letter to his adoptive father his one and only father, thanking him for taking him and his younger brother under his wing and apologized for being such a pain in the ass for the past few years. Dean knew the right dose, he always has. As he swallowed those pills down with whiskey he could feel the inside of his stomach already lightning up in flames, but he didn't care, he wanted it to end, he wanted to be where he belonged, in hell, next to his sammy.

Few minutes later, everything went silent, his body was completely numb, his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

The old man arrived at his house, he opened the door, it was quiet way too quiet. He placed his keys on the coffee table and called out: "Dean?" his eyes caught the letter, he opened it with shaky hands, that can't be, Dean wouldn't do that he tried gaslighting himself. He dropped the letter and ran as fast he could breaking down the door and holding Dean's unconscious body between his arms. "No Dean wake up" He yelled. "Wake up now boy" he yelled again as his eyes filled up with tears. "Dean don't do that to me" he mumbled while holding his body closer to him. "Castiel!!" he screamed. "Get down here cas now!" he screamed again hoping the angel would answer his prayers. And he did. "what happened?" he asked confused. "Fix him now or i swear" Bobby threatened. Cas placed his hand over Dean's forehead and it only took a few seconds before he opened his eyes again.

He adjusted himself, looked at his hands all confused.

"No no noo" he screamed in anger.

"WHY DID YOU BRING ME BACK?" he looked at the angel and his adoptive father with eyes full of tears.

"i was ready to go i was ready to die" he yelled.

"Well too bad because i wasn't" Bobby snapped

"the only person who brought a purpose to my life is gone. The only person i ever loved and cared for and looked after is gone. And there's a hole inside of that just keeps on growing and growing everyday and it- it hurts it hurts so much i thought- i thought i could numb the pain but it's crushing me it's sucking the life out of me i can't i just can't" he cried out.

Bobby and Cas stood above him, with sadness and despair in their eyes.

"i think i could help" Cas mumbled

Dean looked up to him with the tiniest bit of hope.

"i could erase every memory you ever had with sam it would be like he was never your brother- like he never existed" he continued while avoiding eye contact.

"no i can't allow that" bobby added

"this is my decision bobby" dean replied firmly.

"do it cas" he said as he stood up and faced him.

"but this is going to hurt" castiel warned him before proceeding.

"i said do it" he repeated.

The angel placed the palm of his hand over the hunters forehead and channeled every power he had, it didn't take long before dean fell to his knees screaming as all of the memories with his younger brother flashed before his eyes. Bobby looked away since he couldn't handle seeing his son in that condition.

Once it was over dean fell to the ground unconscious.

"his body is going to need a little of time to readjust" cas told Bobby in a reassuring tone.

"i hope you realize the consequences of what you just did" the adoptive father added before leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.

#jensen ackles #spn #jared padalecki #sam winchester #sam and dean #dean winchester #castiel #spn season 5 #my fic #demons #lucifer spn #samifer #bobby singer #alternate universe

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boywifesammy · 10 months

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sam winchester just doesn’t fit. he lives life between two worlds; too strange for normal people but not strange enough for his family. he’s passionate and nerdy and kind-hearted. he’s trusting but terrified of losing the little that he has. he’s been looking from the outside in for his entire life and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t change that.

imagine growing up like that. never in one place, constantly moving around, surrounded by fear and family secrets and things that go bump in the dark. imagine always being the new kid, getting weird looks in the hallways, growing up in hand-me-downs and dingy motel rooms and having an alcoholic, revenge-obsessed ex-military dad who’s never around. being raised by your big brother and never being able to explain to anyone what family means to you. that they’re your prison and your curse but also everything you have, because you never stopped in one place to keep anything else.

and on the inverse, imagine being the black sheep in a family of hunters. imagine wanting autonomy and safety and being shamed for it. sam is a dreamer at heart. he loves reading and human connection and moral philosophy. he wants to be good above everything else. he’s a bleeding heart who gets far too involved in cases and feels the pain of everyone else too strongly.

imagine wanting to play soccer instead of shooting at things that want to kill you, and being berated for it. wanting to get an education and being belittled for it. wanting to get free of it all, wanting to make an honest life for yourself and have companionship and a stable career and a family that trusts you as much as they love you and being told that if you leave, you’re never welcome back.

sam tried so fucking hard to fit in at stanford, and it ended with his girlfriend burning up on his ceiling. he tried to be a good hunter, and instead became the boy king, a demon-blood halfling, an abomination, a monster even in the eyes of his family.

if you can’t save him, kill him. if i didn’t know you, i would want to hunt you. sam has always been more monster than human or hunter. always. he was a monster at school and a monster at stanford and a monster on the road with dean. he was stuck between worlds and floundering for any bit of reassurance that god hadn’t given up on him.

yet even through that, he was still kind and loyal and motivated by good will. he wanted to see the good in everything, even in the monsters he hunted. he wanted to give them a chance, because he wanted so badly to believe that he wasn’t a monster either. he knew how it felt to be bad to his very core yet still want to do good. he GOT it. even when the world hated him, he still always tried to do the right thing.

sammy’s a big, cuddly, bleeding-heart monster and i love all of him.

#oc #sam winchester #supernatural #spn meta #spn 2x01 #spn 4x04 #i cannot stop thinking about him #i know he’s big and scary and does awful things sometimes #but he’s hurting so much #and he’s been through fucking hell and back #like i GET it. i get why he’s so fucked up. poor boy has been suffering his entire life.

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impecko · 1 year

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Leo Valdez Study

I've always been annoyed with how people see Leo. He has a lot of really interesting traits, but he also has a lot of issues.

The seventh wheel thing

From day one, Leo is worried that he is a third, or “seventh” wheel. This starts with Piper and Jason’s relationship and continues till the last book. It’s meant to be a relatable worry that he “overcomes” by the end of his story, but I feel it is a manifestation of a much deeper problem. He lets other people’s opinions dictate his actions and his thoughts. Everyone does this to an extent, but it is so deeply engrained into who Leo is that it’s an undertone to every decision he makes. Every other thought he has is about how he doesn’t have a girlfriend and how he feels so left out. This manifests in more ways than that though. When interacting with people he thinks are “lesser” than him, he is pretty cruel at times. The most obvious example is Frank. Their rivalry is framed as boys fighting over a girl, but it’s deeper than that. Leo thinks he’s better than Frank, or at least equal to him. He constantly makes mean comments about Frank’s worth and skills. This is put into better contrast when you look at how Leo interacts with the other boys. He’d never say half of the things he says to Frank to Percy or Jason, even if they were the ones dating Hazel.

2. Using the fact that he looks like hazels old lover to get closer to her.

Leo feels Hazel is in his league. Maybe because she is younger, or maybe because she has talked to him a few times. Either way, he has no issues preying on the fact that he looks like her past crush to become closer to Hazel. He instantly sees their relationship in a romantic light and doesn’t think twice about how things must feel for her. “Hazel was also Franks girlfriend, so Leo knew he should keep his distance. Still, her hair smelled good, and riding with her made his heart race almost against his will.”

“We could’ve made a sandcastle” “A lime castle” Their eyes locked for a second to long. Hazel looked away “You are so much like---” “Sammy” Leo guessed.”

It rubbed me the wrong way when he mentioned keeping his distance from Hazel because she was Frank’s girlfriend. Repeatedly I get the vibe that he doesn’t see women as people just because of how his lack of girlfriend clouds his world view. I really don’t think this was Riordan’s intention when he wrote Leo, but in real life, this would be a big red flag for me.

3. Who needs brothers anyway

Regarding Nico, Leo says “He hoped Hazel had forgiven him for not trusting her brother (hey, it had seemed like a reasonable suspicion to Leo)." It’s valid to be mistrusting of someone you don’t know; the problem is that even when Hazel said multiple times they could trust Nico, Leo still didn’t believe her. From his point of view in MoA, he fawns over Hazel and likes how she pays attention to him. But when it really comes down to it, he brushes aside her worries because he thinks rescuing Nico is too dangerous. Regardless of whether rescuing Nico was a good idea or not, it says a lot about how he truly feels about his friends and the girl he liked.

When the seven had the meeting concerning Nico, they were rightfully worried about the dangers of rescuing him. But it didn’t come from a place of mistrusting Nico. Percy, despite his self admittedly rough past with Nico, looked past it and immediately said he would rescue him. One of his reasons were he “couldn’t stand seeing Hazel in pain.” Meanwhile Leo, the boy who has said he likes Hazel over and over again, couldn’t do the same. He brushed her concerns aside so quickly to share an opinion that really wasn’t needed. Everyone knew the mission would be dangerous, they knew it was a trap. But Leo still said to Hazel’s face that it would be better to not rescue Nico. Is it because Nico is a son of Hades? Because it was a trap? We honestly don’t even get a super clear reason why Leo was so against rescuing Nico. But no matter what his reasons were, sparing Hazel’s emotions didn’t even cross his mind. He sees her as a pretty girl rather than a teammate and someone who can make good decisions.

4. Calypso and Leo’s relationship

Leo didn’t like Calypso; he’s just obsessed with not being alone.

Cruel, but there’s a lot of proof why this could be the case. I believe in the theory that their relationship was Calypso’s curse kicking in one last time. In the beginning she was angry at Leo and said many times that she did not want Leo there. Although they were able to become friends by the end, I believe that if Calypso was not cursed, she would not have fallen in love with Leo. She’s thousands of years old and has directly said that she does not want to fall in love again. Leo is 16, and is a product of a completely different cultural era. People have argued that mentally she is young, but at the end of the day, I believe there must be a least some things in common between two people to be in a relationship.

An interesting point to consider is that Riordan might be already hinting that their relationship wont work out. In Trials in Apollo, Calypso expresses that she is uncomfortable in the real world and understandably feels out of place as a mortal teenager. Leo is also worried and he somewhat micromanages her needs in an attempt to make her feel better. I can’t see this leading to anything good. I will do a 180 if it turns out the author has been playing the long game and plans to address Leo’s issues as a part of his character development. But I think that Calypso was supposed to be Leo’s happy ending. His insecurities won’t go away just because of a girlfriend, and I wish this was addressed as a personal issue for Leo to solve instead of making him rely on outside forces (girl) to solve.

“Keep moving—that was his motto. Don’t dwell on things. Don’t stay in one place for too long. It was the only way to stay ahead of the sadness.“

At the end of the day, Leo has a traumatic past. He is a very interesting character, and there is a lot of depth to him that people don’t think about. From what I’ve seen, people tend to turn him into a 2d character and ignore his issues and the wrong things he has done. They, like Leo, just want him to be “bad boy supreme” and not look any deeper. My issue with him is the fact that none of his development resulted in anything meaningful. He ended the series getting what he wanted, but not what he needed.

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scoobydoodean · 3 months

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(4.10)

Was looking at this little bit for my #heaven is a cult tag, but noticed while I was here, that Dean immediately mentions pain and guilt and immediately thought of Dean's speech to Cas in 4.22, but with Dean now on Anna's side, saying these negative feelings are worth it.

From 4.22:

CASTIEL What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace. Even with Sam. DEAN You can take your peace... and shove it up your lily-white ass. 'Cause I'll take the pain and the guilt. I'll even take Sam as is. It's a lot better than being some Stepford bitch in paradise

Back in 4.10, Dean is in a particularly troubled spot. His trauma from hell is really catching up to him. It's at the end of this episode that Dean says:

DEAN How I feel... This... inside me... I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing.

He's wishing he was like an angel—wishing he didn't have to deal with all the pain and guilt he feels. Wishing he could be the cold marble statue Anna described. But sometime between 4.10 and 4.22, Dean realizes that he doesn't want to be that at all. He realizes Anna is right. Removing ones pain and guilt isn't worth everything else you give up with it.

Crucially, what Anna is describing here—as I've said before—is brainwashing. Angels have their emotions controlled and buried under threat of punishment if they dare feel too much or disobey. Angels are perfectly capable of experiencing the full emotional range. Anna didn't fall because being an angel is physically incompatable with the full rage of emotion humans experience—she fell because heaven's iron grip around the throats of all angels is incompatible with the full range of human and angel emotion.

One of the reasons what Dean says to Cas in 4.22 is so effective in convincing Cas to follow his convictions is that Dean's experience is central to Cas's doubts. The first time Cas considered disobedience—his demotion in 4.16—was a a result of him not wanting to make Dean torture again, knowing how it would harm Dean emotionally to do that. So hearing Dean vehemently reject Cas's desire to shield him negative emotions through false paradise is important in of itself.

Crucially though, Dean's words invoke the angelic experience. Dean's words invoke Anna's fall—Anna who seems to have been an important force in Cas's life. She's who he turns to in 4.16 when he first starts to really consider disobedience. In 4.10, she mocks his stilted, reserved, empty apology, telling him he's never really let himself feel, while pulling Dean into a kiss. She told Cas in 4.16 that "it gets worse"—feeling does. But Anna still thinks it's worth it.

So Dean and Cas are talking about false paradise in 4.22 and how it's wrong for Sam and Dean... but they're also talking about what it means to be an angel at the same time, within the strict cult environment heaven has created. Dean, someone Cas knows has been through tremendous guilt and pain—reiterates Anna's words—that allowing yourself to experience the full breadth of the emotional range with all the good and the bad is better than a life without pain and guilt and confusion where you trade in your feelings and your conscience at the door and turn your life over to someone else—swept along by the will of higher powers.

CASTIEL I'm considering disobedience. ANNA Good. CASTIEL No, it isn't. For the first time, I feel... ANNA It gets worse. Choosing your own course of action is confusing, terrifying. [...] CASTIEL Anna. I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do. ANNA Like the old days? No. I'm sorry. It's time to think for yourself.

(4.16)

#4.10 #4.16 #4.22 #and cas is my best friend #anna #heaven as a cult #season 4 #pk rewatches spn number ?#time to think for yourself

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luwritesomething · 1 year

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Dean Winchester x Reader: tolerate it.

Warnings: Swearing (probably), angsty?? and with fluff but it remains angsty until the end. also, dean doesn't (know how to) acknowledge reader's obvious feelings for him, lowercase intended, unrequited love coded.

Tags: angsty, hunter!reader, reader has known sam and dean since kids, no season states, can be read as black reader, can be read as plus size reader.

Reader pronouns: they/them (used once)

Word count: 785

Summary: When Reader bursts into tears because of seeing Dean hurt, he doesn't know how to react.

Author’s note: another dean thingie because angst is my specialty and i was feeling THAT kinda way... I rarely ever write for Dean! Not because I don’t like him (I LOVE HIM), but because since I haven’t finished the show (i've just finished season 8) the requests have to be either pre-show or within those seasons. Anyways, Dean and Sam Winchester requests are open, but with those conditions !! love my boys <3 also gif is not mine.

you cried when you saw dean really hurt after a hunt for the first time in long months.

it made you feel childish and stupid, as you had been into the hunter life for as long as he had, as you two and sammy had been through hell and back; but when you saw the exhaustion in his face, the hopeless look in his eyes as he tried not to move his arm too much because the pain was piercing and burning him, you couldn't help it. tears had ran down your cheeks in silence, blurring the sight of the gold rush of a man you called dean, but before you could turn your face away from him and sam, they saw you.

"hey..." dean started, and that was enough for you. you couldn't take it.

your steps were quick towards the door of that old, stinky motel dorm the three of you had found hours ago, making sure to grab dean's impala keys before you stepped outside. sam called out your name and even opened the door, fearful that you might just take the car and drive away from them and the reality, the pain, the misery. but you only needed the keys to open the door to the car and lock yourself in, spacing out of everything around you to try and rationalize the cascade of emotions you were feeling.

sam sighed softly, almost in relief, when he saw you weren't going anywhere, and he closed the door with care before turning to his brother. dean's eyes were filled with worry, an anxious expression that sam hadn't seen many times outside of the battlefield, but he understood.

"should i..." dean had to clear his throat to recover his voice from the surprise, the hoarse shock your reaction had thrown him onto. "should i go talk to them?"

"later?" sam asked like that was dean's original idea. he heard dean rushing to him in agreement, like he had never intended to go right now. "yeah, i think you should. later."

dean nodded stiffly. "later."

later was an eternity, but dean waited. he cleaned his wound, patched it up with sam's help, got a beer and then he got a second one, and a third one. he waited, sitting in his bed with his gaze lost in the floor boards beneath his boots, and sam didn't try to pull him back to reality.

later came when sam decided to get into bed, shutting the little lamp by his side. dean brushed his face with his hand, rather harshly to wake himself up from the trance he had put himself into, and then he moved the curtains to the side to make sure you hadn't drive away from them. you hadn't, and he already knew that because he would have heard you, but his heart slowed down at the sight of you still in the car.

dean closed the door to the room softly and made his way to the door slowly. you had your eyes closed, as you sat on the drivers seat, not asleep but completely disconnected from your surroundings. he had to knock on the glass window to get you to open your eyes, and your eyes softened when they locked with his, so soft, so caring.

surrounding the car, dean got into the passenger seat as soon as you allowed him too, closing the door to allow the intimate conversation to stay inside the vehicle.

"hey."

"hey." you muttered. you let your eyes close for longer than usual, then turned to look at him. "i'm sorry, i overreacted."

dean pursed his lips slightly. "we've gotten through so much worse. you know that."

"i know." your voice was barely a whisper. "i know. i just worry, you know? i... can't really help it."

"i know." he nodded along to his words, giving them value, making you feel like he was finally listening to what you had to say. still, your heart ached. "but i'm alright. i promise."

"we always are."

he only looked at you from the corner of his eyes. "it's what the job asks of us."

"i know." you had never sound so bitter in your entire life, you knew. but he avoided to look at you, and you did the same. "you're alright."

some beats of silence. then, a slow grin started forming in his face, "you should've seen the other guy."

"too soon."

"ah, c'mere." his arm extended and wrapped you around your shoulders, pushing you closer to him. you let him handle you, accommodating your head against his good shoulder, closing your eyes. your heart ached more and more and more--- "we've survived. that's enough."

but it wasn't.

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cringemesstickles · 10 months

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Not Going Anywhere

Summary: Sam having separation anxiety after being reunited with Dean.

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,303

A/N: based off of 9x7 bc the ending of this episode has me in a chokehold

———————————————————

It had been a couple weeks since the whole Sonny situation and Sam refused to leave Dean’s side for even a moment, following him wherever he went, the only exception being the bathroom.

Dean was always very tapped into Sam’s emotions, reading his little brother being one of his greatest talents; so when Sam was acting off, he noticed immediately.

He thought it was a little annoying, but he understood it.

From Sam’s perspective, Dean just left and didn’t come back. He didn’t know whether his brother was dead or alive.

He could’ve been kidnapped or killed and their father’s indifference and lack of concern certainly didn’t make him feel any better about it.

What if he never saw Dean again? What if he lost the most important person in his life?

If Dean disappeared during a simple food run, he could disappear doing anything if Sam wasn’t around to watch him.

So Sam followed him to the kitchen when he went to make their meals, he insisted that he sleep in Dean’s bed to 'keep him company', and if Dean went anywhere outside of the motel room, Sam demanded that he go with him.

Today however, Dean managed to sneak away while Sam was still sleeping. He wasn’t doing anything in particular, just enjoying being alone for the first time in weeks.

Sure, he felt bad; but Sam could handle being without him just for a little while.

But as much as he assured himself that his little brother would be fine, he couldn’t help the feeling of guilt that rested in the pit of his stomach.

After about 30 minutes, Dean decided to head back.

When he opened the motel door, he saw his little brother curled up on the couch, in tears.

Suddenly, he was on autopilot, big brother instincts taking over as he rushed to the kids side.

“D-De?” The little boy sniffled and looked up at him with big watery eyes.

Upon confirming with his own eyes that it was indeed ''De'', he flung his arms around the older boy, burying his face in his brothers chest.

“Woah- easy there, Sammy.. I’m here.” Dean returned the embrace and rubbed the younger’s back, trying to soothe the trembling boy.

“De- I-I didn’t know w-where you were…” Sam shook, “I woke up an..and you were just g-g-gone..” sobs wracked his small body as he tried helplessly to get his emotions under control.

“Shh.. I’m right here, Sammy. Not goin' anywhere.”

He placed a kiss to his brothers head and tightened the embrace.

If Dean knew that his absence would take this much of a toll on the kid, he would’ve broken out of that boys home and ran to his brother.

He almost felt responsible.

Sure, their dad was the one who left him there; but Dean was the one who had gotten caught in the first place. He should’ve been more careful.

But at the same time, he knew their father played as big of a role as he did.

A good father wouldn’t leave their children behind, no matter the circumstances.

A good father would race to their kid and take them home, wherever that may be.

A good father wouldn’t separate a big brother from his little brother, especially when the big brother’s life revolved around protecting the little brother.

A good father would take the little brother’s feelings into consideration before pulling a stunt like that.

And a good father would absolutely care that his own petty ''lesson'' was causing the little brother so much pain.

Dean had to pull himself out of his thoughts before his anger showed, knowing anger would just upset his brother even more.

He took a moment to gather himself before speaking.

“Sammy, I know I was gone for awhile.. but I’m back, aren’t I?” He pulled away and gave the boy a smile despite how sad those tear filled eyes were making him.

Sam sniffled and gave a weak nod.

“Exactly! Look at me, Sammy.”

He gently grabbed the little face and guided it in his direction.

“It doesn’t matter how long we’re apart; minutes, hours, months… hell, even years!”

Sam’s eyes seemed to water more simply at the idea of going a whole year apart, but Dean just wiped the tears away and continued.

“I will always come back, no matter what. Do you know why?” He asked with a grin.

“W-Why?” Sam sniffed.

Dean’s expression softened to something more sincere.

“Because there is no where on earth that I would rather be than with my pain in the ass little brother!”

He ruffled the kids hair and gave a light jab to the ribs, making him giggle lightly.

“I’m not a pain in the ass.. you’re a jerk.” The younger responded, returning the gesture with a punch to the shoulder.

Dean laughed, happy and relieved to see the kid smile.

“Careful, bitch; don’t forget I know all your weak spots.”

Sam gave a startled yelp when fingers started pinching at his ribs, smacking the hands away and wrapping his arms around himself for protection.

“In fact, I feel like you could use a good laugh, don’t you think, Sammy?” The older Winchester lightly wiggled his fingers against the younger’s sides, making him squirm.

“Dean, nohoho!” He broke into giggles almost immediately, falling back against the couch in an attempt to evade the ticklish touch; this only allowed for Dean to straddle his brother’s hips, effectively keeping him in place.

“What’s the matter, Sammy? Ticklish?” The older teased with a wolfish grin, skittering across the small ribs, electing a squeak followed by boyish laughter.

“Eek! Nohoho, don’t do thahahat!”

Sam grabbed Dean’s wrists and half heartedly tried to push them away, unsurprisingly having no success.

“But why not, Sammy? Aren’t you having fun? I know I am!” He quickened the pace and applied a little more pressure, effectively driving the younger Winchester up the wall.

Sam bucked and squealed, the teasing making the tickling even worse.

“DEHEHE, STOHOHOP!”

Dean had to laugh with his little brother, finding the sweet sound to be incredibly infectious.

“What?! But Sammy, I haven’t been able to tickle you for two whole months! I’ve got so much tickling to make up for! We wouldn’t want me getting rusty now, would we?”

He rose a brow and gave a sly smile.

“YOU’RE SO MEHEHEHEAN!”

“If this is mean, what I’m about to do is downright evil.”

Before Sam could even say anything, Dean pushed the kid’s shirt up to his ribs, taking a deep breath and blowing a big raspberry on the vulnerable stomach.

“EEK- NOT THAHAHAT! DEHEHEEEE!!”

Sam screeched and squealed, kicking and squirming in his big brother’s hold as his worst spot was ruthlessly tormented.

The elder ignored Sam’s empty pleas, knowing damn well the kid was having a blast.

Knowing how much Sam loved it made it all the more enjoyable for Dean himself; nothing made him happier than seeing his baby brother laugh and smile like the child he truly was.

He continued to blow raspberries on the kid’s belly, taking breaks in between to nuzzle the soft skin, getting him to giggle and snort adorably.

When Sam’s laughter went silent, Dean let the kid go, rolling back to his respective side of the couch and watching him try to calm himself down.

“It’s a good thing my awesome tickling skills didn’t go anywhere, don’t you agree, Sammy?”

Sam just pouted, making the older boy laugh and ruffle his hair.

Once Sam had calmed down, he crawled over to his big brother and curled up, forcing himself into the older’s lap.

“I love you, De…I missed you..”

Dean held his brother close and carded his hand through the brown locks.

“I love you too, Sammy. I’m not going anywhere.”

#mess writes #tword content #sfw tickling #supernatural tickle fic #spn tickle fic #lee!sam #ler!dean #weechesters #teenchesters #ticklish!sam #ticklish!sammy #tickle community #tickles #tickle fic #sfw tickling community

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orcelito · 11 months

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And here I am awake again

Life goes on

#speculation nation #you can have one of the most painful and miserable nights of your life. & then you wake up and it's a new day.#and your head hurts and your bed is one cat less full #it's less miserable than after sammy. at least marginally. because i do still have tally.#but i keep expecting to hear my garble boy meowing for breakfast upon hearing me awake #he was so much more aware than sammy was right before putting him down. which kinda makes it feel worse.#he didnt have hope for a happy life. it would've been expensive and miserable. and he was Already miserable.#but that was my boy. he was awake and purring as i showered him with as much love as physically possible #so it feels like i killed him. i know there wasnt any other choice but i killed him. and he had no way to know what was happening.#he was feeling shitty. then out of nowhere i grabbed him and put him in a box where he was poked and prodded at by strangers #and then hours later i came back. he was still in a strange place but i was there. so he was purring.#and then another strange person came in. started touching him. and then that was it.#i have a reinforcement of the bad association for cat tongue sticking out. both sammy and cassy ended up with theirs out.#a cat blep is much less cute if it makes you think about how your boys looked when they died.#suffice to say. i started crying while typing these tags. thats cry number 15 i guess.#it just sucks. it really really sucks.#animal death ment/#negative/

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connectionterminated13 · 24 hours

Note

Now mutual….

Henry headcanons…

Oh my goodness yes I'm so sorry this was left in my ask box for so long!!! This is going to be long and filled with spelling errors

- Henry was born on a small farm with his twin sister Jen

- He first got his love for inventing when going to a county fair and seeing all the fun and interesting rides :)

- For most of his schooling Henry kept to himself having like no friends at all Except Jen and getting bullied a lot...

- Henry and Jen got a scholarship scholarship to a University in Utah for engineering

- Upon getting to university Henry made his first friend! Edwin Murray!! Who was a nerdy little loser just like him!!

- Henry began to start working on a prototype Fredbear in his free time, He wouldn't let anyone help him especially Jen. Since as he said this was his Baby

- Well trying to find a suitable hat and bow tie for the Fred bear prototype Jen and Henry went to a small pawn shop. Where they met William Afton who proceeded to hit on Jen

- Jen found him annoying and creepy but Henry found him cute And in Henry fashion monologued about robots and his dream of opening up a diner for like 3 minutes. And William got interested and proposed himself to become Henry's business adviser.

- The 2 became friends with Henry Being dragged to parties with William And spending more of his free time working on Fredbear and the ideas for Fred bear's family diner with William

- In like 1970 William dragged Henry to a House party where he Proceeded to leave Henry alone As he had intercourse with a woman. That's where Henry met his wife the woman's best friend Emily :) After a wonderful night of chatting and being cute the 2 decided to try going on a date

- Good news the dates went very well! Even better news Emily's family that she estranged herself from has a diner that they can use for FredBears (Maybe Henry had to do a bit of convincing Emily too talk to her Not nice family And stop her from following her dreams but like it all will work out in the end!)

- Henry and Emily's relationship was very very rushed. They started officially dating after the second date and got married after like 3 months of knowing each other... (Henry didn't rest things along at all they're in true love and it's going to help him achieve his dreams so it's wonderful and fine!)

- Their wedding was very small and short, But it was the happiest day of Henry's life :)

- Up until a couple months later when his sweet twins were born. At the time they were only expecting one child so Charlie was a bit of a surprise but Henry was more than ready to be a dad!

- And even more wonderful Emily got the diner from her parents and now they have a place to start FredBears!

- By the time Charlie and Sammy are 2 Fredbears is up and running with food and very limited animatronics (no Spring lock suits yet) It's a huge spectacle and it makes like a lot of money

- Soon as the business continues to do well Henry and Williams start working on Spring lock suits! Sadly the first test ended with William in the hospital but on the bright side in the hospital William met his future wife so it all works out as it always does!

- Life just keeps on getting better for Henry the business is doing incredibly well (they're even thinking of branching out to other locations), The twins continue to be wonderful little balls of energy and William has a daughter now With his new lovely wife. Also Springlock Suits are working really well

- All the way up until 1980 Things are going incredibly well for Henry and then Charlie is found dead.

- Henry is devastated. His sweet little girl was murdered and he doesn't know what to do. He cries like a lot and is basically inconsolable. He starts drinking too much too since that's the only thing along with building robots that makes the pain go away.

- The puppet starts malfunctioning it was probably all the rain Henry doesn't think about it and just continues to spiral into depression and making more robots. And of course William, william makes him happy, William makes him want to live and not die..

- He continues like that until 1983 when Evan is murdered by Michael. This hurts him even more. His machine his first child a killer? Why does everything he make break and turn rotten what did he do wrong?? Around this time due to his alcoholism and not being a good dad subsidies too busy being sad Emily and Sammy leave him.

- Henry continues to wallow in sadness it getting only worse once his wife leaves. Even gets the idea to make himself a robot daughter which he begins working on in 1984. Henry also spends all of the time he can drinking with William he needs William. He also cuts off all contact with Jen

- Missing children's incident happens and Henry is a wreck. Everyone blames him for the murder thanks to his antisocial behavior and general weirdness. He's arrested for a bit but led off due to lack of evidence. People don't listen though they spray paint his house and yell at him. So he just stays to himself more...

- Henry's basically just a full recluse by 1986 He barely even knows about circus babies, At this point he just signs where William tells him to sign and builds whatever machines William says they need. Work on the Charlie block continues she's even coming along :) The Charlie bought makes him happy. It's his sweet little girl back to him again sure she can't really talk or do anything yet but he's working on it!

- 1987 is when the older siblings of some of the MCI break into his house and break things and find Charlie bot and hit her over the head with a bat in fear. They kill his sweet little girl. They beat him over the head with a baseball bat and break his arm by accident. Henry doesn't press charges though William suggests making them work at fazbears as payment and Henry agrees. He's too busy wallowing in grief after the loss of Charlie bot to do much else...

- After the bite of 87 and MCI part 2 Henry doesn't know what to do. The lawsuits keep piling up and everything feels horrible and the company keeps getting bigger. William does most of the business stuff and everything else now. Henry just makes things.

Everything changes when one night drinking with William, william reveals that he's the 1 who did it. William killed all the kids, William melted down the kids and stirred them up into a liquid medal and put it in Henry's drink so Henry could live forever.

- Henry forces William out of his house screaming at him and locks the door. Whatever William did it worked. Henry's wrong now and he knows it. William keeps on trying to talk to him but Henry doesn't listen what he does is called Jen and beg her for help with whatever happening.

- Henry after talking with Jen signs away the company and moves in with her. They soon figure out that he's basically immortal and can't die/get hurt and also gives off really really bad vibes.... This makes Henry even more sad, But Jen is able to help him a bit

- Over the next couple of years Henry just kind of chills with Jen, Most of the time he's depressed and despondent but they're still kind of making progress. Emily tries to reach out to him in this period but Henry refuses to talk to his wife fearing that she'll think him some kind of demon after what William did (He's just a guy with glowing eyes and immortality he has weird hang-ups about it Be nice to him) He does try to talk to Sammy but Sammy wants nothing to do with him

-Sammy takes over the company and gets married but Henry doesn't attend either of these things. But Jen is able to get him out sometimes on walks and like On other excursions. He even kind of starts to make friends At the local library that Jen forces him to go to. Of course throughout all of this he misses William. Sometimes it feels like Henry needs William to live.

- By the time of fnaf3 Henry is still a mess but doing better, Jens even got him out too AA Meetings and talking to Emily a bit. And then Spring trap happens and Williams back and Henry doesn't know what to do. Because Henry needs William. Williams like in addiction to Henry. (The relationship is very unhealthy)

I think I'll stop here and cover the fnaf 6 If you want sorry this is so scattered brain I'm real tired :p

#henry emily #fnaf head cannons #fnaf inferno au

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alexsoenomel · 1 year

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A Perfect Puzzle Piece (Sam Winchester x Reader fluff)

Request:

More Sam Winchester Fluff pwease? I need more soft boy Sam lol. I’ll leave the story up to you

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Warnings: I mean period pains I guess? Other then that just fluff :)

Word count: 837

Note: Wrote this few years ago. Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)

Your head hit the soft pillow as your tired body went under the freshly washed covers of the bed you shared with your other puzzle piece. Sadly he wasn’t there to spread his arms so you could fit into his body perfectly. Out and about, he was working with his big brother, trying to find a way to stop The Darkness from completely destroying the world you once saw as beautiful. The truth was the world was now nothing but ugly and dark, you were just lucky to have found a little bit of light in Sam and Dean. You would always go with them but being a woman came with one little thing-periods and period craps. Every month you’d have those sharp waves of pain that were at times unbearable. Today was one of those days…you woke up and immediately wanted to die. It was a perfect morning….

The pain, the ugly feeling knowing a pad is between your legs and the feeling like you were heavier twice your actually weight plus the unexpected acne…It was like that time you almost got killed by a demon. The motherfucker got you good until Sam jammed a knife in his heart. Ah good times…

You were in so much pain you couldn’t get up, and you tried. At one point you were crying wishing desperately you were a man but it was useless. You took the pain meds and even took a shower hoping hot water would calm the situation but it didn’t. Sam and Dean got worried as always, even though you told them a million times first days were always the most painful for you. Finally you convinced them to go and do their research wherever that might be and just to leave you to sleep off this whole situation. And that’s what you did…Spending a whole day in bed with Sam’s scent all over the sheets wasn’t so bad after all. You hugged his pillow inhaled the sweet smell of his shampoo not thinking of the blood war between your legs, and for just few minutes the pain stopped and you got to close your eyes, drifting to dream land faster than Dean running towards pie. After you woke up, you were pain free but still alone. Even though he was out for only a couple of hours you missed him and the loneliness kicked in.

“When will you come home? I miss you.” You texted him.

Few seconds later your phone buzzed. “Tonight. We can’t find Crowley, this whole trip was useless. I miss you too. How’re you feeling?”

“The pain is gone for now but I’m sad and I don’t know why.” You press send.

Few seconds later… “It’s okay to be sad. We will be home soon, I promise.”

“I love you Sammy.”

“I love you too. See you soon.”

That was at 6pm that day.

The rest of the day you, of course, spent in bed watching old movies on Sam’s laptop until you got a headache and decided to go and sleep at 2am. It felt like you had spent that whole day working; you were drained, still sad and just done with life and motherfucking nature. You just needed Sam and his hugs.

At the end he kept his promise. He came back with Dean at around 3am while you were already fast asleep. He took a quick shower got into his pajamas and without a sound joined you. He wrapped his arm around your waist as you slowly drifted back to reality. He placed small kissed on your neck sending shivers all over your body. When you realized your perfect puzzle piece was back you slowly opened your eyes and turned around to face him, snuggling against his warm body.

“You’re back.” You mumbled, feeling a genuine wave of happiness consuming you.

“Hey.” He smiled. “Sorry I woke you up. How’re you feeling?”

“I’m glad you did. Still feel like crap, but better. How was the trip?”

“Useless and tiring. “ He said as his long fingers were playing with your messy and now tangled bed hair. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Feeling safest as you can possibly be, right there in his arms, with your heart beating fast and your cheeks blushing uncontrollably, your legs went between his as your body climbed on top of him while your lips kissed him hungrily. “Cuddle me.”

Sam gasped by surprise and laughed, feeling your body against his. That’s how pure bliss and comfort looks. That’s how love looks like. It was dark as it can possibly be, but you could still see the beautiful lines on his face and his breath taking hazel eyes glowed in the same darkness. The same could be said about him, your features and silhouette were still visible. His hand brushed away your hair so he could study you more.

“I love you.” He said. “I can’t believe I found you.”

“To the moon and back Sammy.” You said and kissed him again.

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demonmary · 1 year

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so. john kills mary au.

important canon notes : there is no yellow eyed demon. john and mary were heaven-arranged with the help of anna as mary’s protector to make sure that sam and dean were conceived.

once sam is born, anna’s watch is ended officially. but she’s fallen for mary and mary for her so she stays close by. she does not trust john. things are getting more and more volatile between him and mary. he’s getting physical. anna has been warned not to interfere, mary’s safety isn’t important anymore - sam and dean are already born. heaven stepped away.

so one night - things get bad. john is off the fucking rails and he’s dead sober and that’s worse somehow and god. he’s angry. and mary’s never seen him like this before and she’s scared and he’s so mad. and he has his hands around her neck and she’s dying. she’s dying. she’s dying and she doesn’t know why but she’s praying too. and with her last breath she calls for anna but it’s too late.

when anna gets there it’s hell. she sees john’s anger and she matches it. she doubles it. she sees his fury and she turns it righteous and she’s screaming with her true voice and john’s bleeding from the ears and crying blood and she slashes at his face with her angel blade and cuts him from cheek to forehead and he doesn’t even know what hit him. one minute he’s standing over his dead wife’s body and the next he’s pinned to the ceiling and this angel is going to kill him. she’s in his head too - replaying scenes of death and destruction from the war mixed in with mary in her wedding dress. the first time he split mary’s lip. mary in the hospital bed with dean in her arms. the time he threw mary down the stairs. mary with child. the first time he strangled mary. mary mother mary. mary dead mary. he can’t focus through the pain - the cut on his face burns like fire and he’s held to the ceiling by anna and the screams couldn’t get louder and then they do. anna loses focus on john and he falls to the floor and there’s burning blue white pure light and wing flashes and angel blades clashing and then john is burning. the room is filled with smoke but it’s. otherwise empty. anna’s gone. whatever came and took her is gone. and there’s just fire. john runs out of his room with mary and leaves her body behind and finds dean in sam’s nursery with him , hiding from the noise and crying and he tells dean to run. and they run. sam still in deans arms even though john’s there to carry them both.

john throws himself into hunting. not to avenge mary but for his own revenge. against the angel that dared to interfere. against the angel that left him scarred. against the angel that he tells sam and dean killed their mother. he keeps his boys close for a minute while he’s on the run from the law bc of the whole. strangled his wife and burnt the house down thing. there’s no I Need To Protect My Kids From Monsters delusion. really - he knows they need to be protected from him, actually, especially so young - so as soon as he meets bobbyandrufus he dumps the boys at the salvage yard for as normal of a childhood as two mostly retired hunters can give ‘em.

sam is actually really into the lore from a young age. he never knew his mom - not really - so he throws himself into learning as much about their family line and angels / the supernatural as possible. he digs into bobby’s stuff all the time , “helps out” with research even tho he’s soooo little. he asks so many questions.

dean doesn’t give a fucKkkkk about that. he’s enrolled in school and loves it. he’s playing sports. he’s making friends. he’s living his best little boy life. until he’s 12 and john deems dean old enough to enlist into john’s war on heaven. deans pissy at first because. this isn’t his life, where’s sammy why can’t he finish the school year . but john makes sure he knows the stakes. makes sure dean knows this is about killing that angel that burned down their family home and scarred john and sent them running. and dean is like yes. we have to avenge mom. and john is like ???? OH. oh yeah. oh yeah her too. this is about your mother obviously yeah. the angel that killed mom. since i didn’t do that that’d be crazy.

and for four years - dean and sam are separated while john trains him. and thinking about the little dean that leaves bobby’s house with a little suitcase waving goodbye to sam. and how different dean is when they come back four years later for sam. and how resentful of being left out and behind and deserted sam would feel. how he doesn’t even recognize the soldier their father turned dean into. they know not to ask about mom because john gets mad but they don’t start picking up on how Off it all is until they’re older.

canon timeline picks back up. john hunting with kids in tow. obviously no azazel , no psychic sam, - focus on anna and angels. for the most part he never encounters any bc john is shit at hunting. but once sam fucks off to college (major in theology!) he and dean stay in touch behind john’s back. sam is doing research for dean - they start picking up that john is hiding shit from them. stanford era dean hunting alone, but calling on sam for help tracking down anna. he finally figures out how to summon her

ohhh the confrontation there is soooo juicy good to me. anna in a ring of fire, dean standing across from the thing he thought killed his mother. he needs to be sure before he calls john so he calls her out. anna cannot remember the last time she was this angry (lies. it was when she was too late to save mary. it was when she was stopped from avenging mary’s death and punished for interfering). anna’s face falls and she’s sick at the thought of mary’s sons growing up thinking she was the monster. growing up idolizing their father. raised by a murderer. she sees mary in deans face though and she calms herself down and she. explains to him everything. she shows him. everything. and here’s how dean kills john can win. i've also thought about how that Confrontation would go. wild things wild thoughts perfect horrible aus

#john kills mary au #long post #abuse tw #lets talk about this i want to talk about my aus lets talk about my aus #zo.txt #my post about this au got more notes than a lot of my silly posts and it was literally just “john killed mary au” basically #maybe this isn't as niche as i thought it would be

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deanwinchesterpregnant · 10 months

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jeremiah 8:20

– for @wincestwednesdays prompt: blood

Deanna’s never been the best at keeping track of her period, though in her defense her cycle has never exactly been regular. There’s always something – constantly swapping between fake insurances, going on and off the pill. A poor diet. Stress. Etcetera.

But in Detroit, she knows it’s been too long. A couple months, maybe three. She can’t remember. Can’t remember the last time she’d woken up with stains in her panties or the last time Sam had looked up from between her legs to say uh, I think it’s time to stock up on tampons, Dee. Everything in the past couple months has run together between God and the Devil and the angels who want to kill them and keep them alive and she just can’t remember jack shit.

She can’t even remember when this might have happened. Her and Sammy haven’t screwed much since she'd died and come back again, but clearly their sex life hasn’t suffered enough for them to not have fucked raw at least once these past few months.

She doesn’t bother to tell anybody. Bobby, Cas – they have enough on their plates, and Deanna’s just told her little brother to go ahead and offer himself up to Satan. Sorry, Dad. Couldn’t keep Sammy safe. Couldn’t keep him from knocking me up, either.

Deanna can’t have a baby, no matter how many secret domestic fantasies she harbors. Holding it, rocking it to sleep and passing out in a handmade chair. Sammy coming to find her and lifting the baby from her arms and putting it in the crib all gentle. Going days on not even her requisite 4 hours of beauty sleep. In another life, maybe. She can’t have a baby and she especially can’t have a baby with Sam, so maybe it doesn’t matter.

“Did you know?” Deanna asks Cas, driving away from Lawrence all those hours later. Maybe days later. It’s all run together; she’s doing 80 in a 55 easy, and the trees that line the highway pass as nothing more than brown-grey-green blurs.

“Did I know what?” Castiel asks. He won’t look at her and well, that’s just fine. Her eyes are on the road and her grip on the wheel is so tight that she can feel all the folds and impressions in the leather making divots on her palm. She’s not looking at anybody.

“Don’t play dumb, Cas. That ain’t you.”

Castiel sighs, and then he’s so silent that she thinks maybe he’s gone, the bastard. Never was very good at goodbyes.

“It wasn’t a choice.”

“Huh?”

“When I healed you,” Castiel says. His breathing is even; if he had a heartbeat Deanna is sure it would be steady. She feels like her whole esophagus is going to be ripped out from her throat any second, can feel a wave threatening to crash behind her eyelids, and here he is with his even cadence and his abiding faith in God. “When I healed you, it – I healed everything. I didn’t get to pick and choose.”

“Right,” she says. The mile markers and exit signs pass too fast for her to read them. “Right, I knew that.”

Castiel's voice sounds so gentle when he says: “Lucifer had beat you nearly to death. It was already dead, Deanna.” She hates it.

And aren't these things supposed to end in blood, anyway? Shouldn’t she have had this one last thing, one last moment of watching a part of her brother bleed from her, one last bit of Sam to have and to hold and to lose? Shouldn’t she have felt that singular pain, sharp in her gut, heavy in her cunt? Shouldn't she have bled for all those months she went without? It shouldn't have ended in nothing but a touch to the forehead. Everything she’s ever had, all taken away by God; fucking God and the Devil and all the angels who want to keep her alive. She’s not sure there are any left who want her dead, and maybe she wishes there were.

“Well, that’s just bullshit,” she says. Castiel doesn’t point out how thick her voice sounds. He doesn’t point out how it cracks over the sharp punch of the shit. With a flutter of wings, he’s gone. It doesn’t matter. She can’t have a baby, and she especially can’t have a baby with Sam. She’ll go live this apple pie life because that’s what Sammy wanted, and she’ll do it with somebody else’s kid.

#'oh spike wrote something about pregnancy? let's all pretend to be SHOCKED'#wincest #wincest wednesday #femchesters #cw miscarriage #cw suicidal thoughts #idk...periods and pregnancy stuff?? i don't know ask to tag lol #i couldn't decide between trans dean and cis deanna for AGES but i've had girl!dean on the brain recently sorry #spike words #ww ficlet

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stillcarmine · 26 days

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I've talked about Hazel ending up at the Lotus Casino, I've talked about Leo ending up at the Lotus Casino, I've talked about Hazel and Leo gaslighting themselves into thinking Leo was actually Sammy, but you know what I haven't done?

Put it all together

Let's miraculous ladybug square this shit (au pending on that), because it could be that both of them remember who they are, or that only one of them remembers or that neither of them remember.

If they both remembered, then honestly, the shock of it might snap them both out of their comatose state, and that in and of itself would be a nightmare for them. Imagine them running out onto the street and just- Hazel canonically almost had a panic attack when she visited Berkeley, Vegas would literally kill her. And it could actually be kind of funny depending on how old Leo was when he first got trapped at the casino because he could have been as young as eight. So Hazel seeing this literal child (which is saying something because she is also a child) and being like... is this my boyfriend's son or... ?

If only Leo remembered, than nothing would happen, they would just exist near each other, and there's something kind of tragic and haunted even in that. Also kind of freeing too though. Like their meeting was always going to be painful for them, and they got to just be in the same place without that pain or weight to carry.

Also, like when they're actually on the Quest (tm) and during a group discussion Hazel casually drops how she spent year x to year y there because she's recovered her memories, and Leo, who's either kept the fact that he stayed there very close to his chest because it's Leo, or has loudly be announcing it to explain why he's so much younger than he should be- anyway he chokes on his drink because what kind of a coincidence is that?

If neither of them had their memories, then it would really depend on like... how sad you want it to be. Like, do they just float around each other and never take notice of one another? Do they meet and become friends willingly, of their own volition? Even if they don't remember all the pain of their pasts, it would still leave some kind of impact on them. If going the sad route, then Hazel still would have died in Alaska but maybe Juno or Thanatos or Pluto did something they technically shouldn't have done and gave her a second chance somewhere new. Because then Hazel would have reason to be proud of her decisions, because her story had come to a resolution, even if a tragic one. Or maybe none of what happened in Alaska happened, and she is just a kid spared a cruel fate that she isn't even aware of. If it's the first, then in comparison, Leo would be at the start of his story, always feeling something is wrong, that he's forgetting something that he knows he shouldn't be, something he did wrong, something that scares him when he tries to think about it.

Or if they weren't weighed down with those wounds, then, yeah, maybe they get a few years of peace and happiness and friendship before the world needed them back and everything they'd been able to forget comes crashing down on them.

If only Hazel remembered then... it really would be like seeing Sammy again. Like, that would be literally the only plausible explanation to her, she has no idea he would have been dead by then. And Leo, who hasn't really spoke to anyone in... he doesn't even know how long, who doesn't even realize he's forgotten his own name because he never has to think about himself in relation to anyone else... he's got no reason not to believe this girl coming up to him, saying they're friends and don't you remember me and seeming so heartbroken at the fact that he doesn't. He doesn't want her cry, he doesn't want her to be sad, especially not in this amazing place, so yes, of course he wants to know about their old life, of course he wants to hear about their adventures and yes, he wants to be this person she's describing, and it feels so good to have an identity again, a name and past and friend, and-

#this is a lot longer than i planned #hazel levesque #leo valdez #sammy valdez #lotus casino #son of neptune #the lost hero #the mark of athena #heroes of olympus #hoo #yes the miraculous square au was a joke but not in the sense that i actually don't have one cooking #... in a really slow cooker it's been more than 2 years 🤷🏽‍♀️#I mean its VZ but h&l friend is important in it… I think I’m taking myself into working on it again 🤔

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