#of course the new life meaning will be probably just waiting for his next album with the next tour and attending another concert

[voilaammayi]

me, after finally attending Hozier concert preceded by years of waiting, in the prospect of finding some new life meaning, which fact is just now dawning on me:

#hozier #of course the new life meaning will be probably just waiting for his next album with the next tour and attending another concert #Hozier prague 2023 #my life honestly was divided into pre-Hozier and post-Hozier era #I can’t get myself together after my first live concert of his #does anybody know what to do next??? #unreal unearth #unreal unearth tour #hozier unreal unearth

[moody4world]

Real rider

A/N(?): i am !!NOT!! a writer, everything i write and post is simply for fun and not to be taken seriously

equestrian y/n teaching jack the basics of horse riding for churchill downs mv

this is fluff

Jack had just dropped his brand new album called home the kids miss you. He had already recorded a music video for first class but he was mostly excited to film his music video for churchill downs with THE drake himself.

He had proposed his idea of what he’d want to include in the music video to his directors and one of those scenes included jack riding a horse. Only problem with that was that Jack had never ridden a horse in his life. But he was dead set on having this in his music video.

“Come on Neelam there’s gotta be someone you know that can teach me, I mean how hard can it be right?” “Oh you’d be surprised, I do know someone and it’s definitely not as easy as you think Jack, you want to learn how to ride a horse at a high speed in the span of a few days when you’ve never even sat on a horse before, be for real.”

Jack stared at Neelam looking very offended but he knew she had a point. A really good one at that. But the last thing he was going to do is give up. “Okay okay that’s true but if they’re such a professional i can at least learn the basics right? I just really want this to look cool as fuck.”

“Fine i’ll give her a call later and see what I can do for you.”

“This is exactly why I never fired you.”

“Jack what the hell?”

“I’m kidding i’m kidding…wait did you say she?”

“Uh…yeah is that a problem?”

“No of course not I just thought it’d be a guy”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve just never seen you hang out with a horse girl before.”

“Oh god please don’t call her that or she’ll flip her shit. She hates it when people call her that.”

“Gee thanks for the heads up.”

Later that day you were watching a random movie that was recommended to you by a friend on netflix when your phone started ringing. You picked it up to see it was Neelam and you accepted the call. “Hey Neelam what’s up?” You said while stuffing your face with popcorn. “Hi y/n! just work and more work, you know how it is.” “Yeah that’s literally all you do, why’d you call though? is everything okay?”

“Yeah yeah everything is great..but”

“Uh oh what is it?”

“It’s nothing bad but I just need you to do me this one favor for the next two weeks and I promise i’ll pay you and everything just please help me out or this boy won’t leave me alone.” Neelam rambled

“You had me at the word pay but what do I have to do for the next two weeks? thats a lot of days.”

“Can you teach Jack how to ride a horse for his music video?”

You paused your movie at the mention of Jack’s name and put your bowl of popcorn on the coffee table in front of you.

“Uhm yeah..yeah sure that’s fine I can do that. When do we start?”

“Are you available this friday?”

“Yeah that’s perfect, i’m sure you remember where the ranch is so i’ll see you then.”

“Thank you so so much y/n i’ll text you a time and more details later okay?”

“Okay byee”

You let out a heavy sigh after you both hung up. “I haven’t seen Jack in person in years…will he even recognize me? okay he probably will you haven’t changed THAT much y/n come on. Yeah that’s true…ugh i really hope he’s nicer now cause that dumpling joke was so annoying….it was kinda cute tho. Girl snap out of it. I’m literally having a whole dialogue with myself about this and I haven’t even started teaching him yet jesus christ.”

Everyone talks to themselves….I just happen to do it a lot more than usual and there’s nothing wrong with that. I knew Jack since middle school, we always had the same classes and he would sit near my lunch table and our friends usually hung out together. He never bullied me or anything like that cause i’d refuse to let a young jb look alike who raps to bully me. He just always pointed out things that made me feel slightly embarrassed. Like that one time he called my kermit and mrs. piggy socks cute which made his friends laugh about it. He apologized afterwards and said he really meant it but I mean who knows.

Friday comes around and I made sure I got to the ranch early to set everything up. I got the horses ready and even had enough time left to have a quick snack. A few minutes after I was done, I saw Neelam walking in with Jack. I walked over, meeting them half way. Neelam gives me a tight hug swaying us side to side as we always did when we see each other. “y/n!!!! hiiii” “It’s been way too long Nee” “I knooow this guy keeps me way too busy.” She says pointing towards Jack who’s standing there all awkward with his hands behind his back. He puts his hand forward and I do the same shaking his hand “Jack” “y/n” there’s an awkward silence between the three of us until Neelam clears her throat and breaks the silence “Oh..kay uh i’m gonna go and leave you two to it then. y/n good luck with this one.” “I think i’m gonna need it so thanks” “I’m standing right here…you guys realize that right?”Neelam laughs and walks towards the exit of the ranch. Once Neelam was out of earshot Jack turns to me and goes. “Long time no see y/n l/n” ugh here he goes with the last name. For some reason he could never just say my first name like everyone else. “Yeah long time no see…clearly not much has changed.” “I don’t see why that’s a bad thing dumpling.”

There it is..that old nickname. I didn’t want to have feelings for this guy but the butterflies were unavoidable at this point. He’s taller now, he has a nice beard, his hair is curlier, his voice is also deeper but his cute goofy smile is still the same and clearly the nicknames too. “I was hoping you’d forget about that name.” I said awkwardly. “I did until I saw your chubby cheeks again.” “Stop pointing it out” I said defensively but in a joking way, he laughs and puts his hands up in defense “I’ll stop…no promises.”

“Okay enough talking let’s get started or we’ll never get you to ride a horse in time for your music video.” “Okay let’s go”

Getting Jack to even get on a horse was harder than you expected.

“Pay attention to what I do so you can do it after me.” I get on the horse making sure to do it at a pace that he can follow and once i’m seated i turn to him and tell him to do what I did. Since he’s tall you would think its much easier but nope. This guy took like 5 minutes to even get on the horse, to be fair I didn’t pick our nicest horse for him either but he got on eventually. I got a good laugh out of seeing him struggle with something that was so easy to me though, no regrets so far.

After we did a little bit of trotting we took the horses for short walk before calling it a day. “So..how do you know Neelam?” he asked me out of no where “Uh…we met through a mutual friend” “Why are you lying?” “Who says i’m lying?” I was definitely lying, but how did he know that??? did Neelam tell him how we met?

No probably not cause he didn’t even know I was his instructor. “You did that awkward smile you used to do when you lie….so how did you guys really meet?”How does he even remember that?! i’m feeling those stupid butterflies again too get it together y/n. “Okay fine, I used to date her cousin a few years back and we got really close.” “Used to?” I don’t remember Jack being this nosey damn “You sure are nosey Jackman.” he shrugged.

“Not nosey just curious. I’d hate to be your ex, I know he feels stupid.” “You don’t even know what caused the break up.” “By your body language i can tell he’s the one that fucked up though.” “Yeah he did but i’ve been over it for a while now.” “Any new dudes in your life?” “No, just enjoying life as it comes these days. How about you mister rapper? new groupie every night or what?” “Who’s the nosey one now huh?” he says with a smirk. I know he did not just flip the script on me. “You asked a bunch of questions and all I asked is one and now i’m the nosey one?” “I’m just messing with you. But no i’m not like that… not anymore at least.” “Oh wow” He looked offended at my reply but can you blame me? he’s so popular now.

“What do you mean by oh wow? do I look like a manwhore to you?” I give him the look of “do you really want me to answer that?” “Okay don’t answer that” and we both started laughing. “Do you wanna do a small race to the stalls?” he looked at me as if i had grown two heads “ A race?!? are you trying to kill me? I thought we were getting along.” “You’re so dramatic it’s like 7 feet away” “Are you forgetting that you’re the real rider here and not me? I’m just an intern” “Okay prospect, no race this time. You’re such a party pooper.” “If you’re a good teacher and I get the hang of this by the end of these two weeks i’ll race you. Deal?” “Deal” We shook on it and continued our way to the stalls. Unlike getting on the horse, Jack had no issues getting off of it and he was quick to offer me his hand to help me get down.

Of course I didn’t need it but I decided to entertain him and accepted the help anyway. For whatever reason my horse, Talula felt like it was good moment to push me off and of course it had to be like one of those cliché rom coms. You know the ones where the girl falls into the guys chest and their faces are so close they’re almost breathing the same air and they look into each other’s eyes like its the prettiest thing they’ve ever seen?

Well that’s exactly what was happening between Jack and I. Until Talula decided to push me again and we both snapped out of it. His right arm was still around my waist and his other hand was still holding mine. I frantically pushed him away and stepped back brushing my clothes off from the invisible dust and possible horse fur.

“Sorry about that.” Jack apologized “No no it’s fine.” I started nervously laughing.He started walking backwards towards the exit “Tomorrow same time?” “Yeah, same time” “Alright, see you tomorrow dumpling.” He turned around now walking to the exit with his back towards me. “Stop calling me that.” “Not a chance dumpling.” He glanced at me over his shoulder with a smug grin on his face. I rolled my eyes but I couldn’t hold back my smile. After a full day of teaching Jack some of the basics and catching up a little bit I can say that he’s definitely the same goofy Jack that he was when I first met him in middle school. Maybe these next two weeks won’t be so bad after all.

#moody4world #moody fics #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 23/03/2024 (V of BTS and... Mark Knopfler?)

It’s a short week, largely to prepare for what chaos should be coming the next, but right at the top, Benson Boone clenches his first ever #1 with “Beautiful Things”. I know pretty much no-one who cares about pop music on a deeper level likes this song, but hey, if I’m the only person happy about this other than Booner Boy himself, I’ll take it. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

Given our few new songs, we also only have a handful of notable dropouts to start with, so we’ll bid adieu to the small but decent selection of “Could You be Loved” by Bob Marley & The Wailers, “Angel Numbers / Ten Toes” by Chris Brown, “My Love Mine All Mine” by Mitski and finally, “Disconnect” by Becky Hill and Chase & Status.

As for what’s back, we see returns for “Asking” by Sonny Fodera and MK featuring Clementine Douglas at #73 and, sigh, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #68, and then a spattering of gains. Our most notable boosts are for “if u think i’m pretty” by Artemas at #59, “Wasted Youth” by goddard. and Cat Burns at #58, “We Ain’t Here for Long” by Nathan Dawe at #55, “Happier” by The Blessed Madonna featuring Clementine Douglas at #54, “Thank You (Not So Bad)” by a bestiary of enemies to good taste at #50, “Green & Gold” by Rudimental and Skepsis featuring Charlotte Plank and Riko Dan at #43, “Birds in the Sky” by NewEra at #34, “Never Lose Me” by Flo Milli surging high and fast up to #23 thanks to her releasing an album that includes a pretty great remix of the song featuring Cardi B and SZA, and then “Austin” by Dasha at #15, “Lovers in a Past Life” by Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man at #14 and finally, making his way into the top 10 for the first time, “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi at #10.

Our top five this week consists of “End of Beginning” by Djo at #5, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #4, “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” by Beyoncé at #3, “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” by Ariana Grande at a new peak of #2 off of the debut, that could grab a week at the top soon, and of course, Benny Boone at #1. Now for our four new songs, which feel like names picked out of a hat and placed onto the chart.

New Entries

#60 - “Been Like This” - Meghan Trainor and T-Pain

Produced by Gian Stone and Grant Boutin

This is a joke, right? Or a soundtrack to a reality television competition, or daytime talk show? T-Pain has grown into his role as wholesome cuddly media figure surprisingly well and a collaboration with Meghan Trainor, whilst demonic, seems to be the best way to seal that position, with this being the lead single for her next album… Timeless. Well, that’s one thing to call your music. Mean jokes aside, hey, T-Pain is here so at least there’ll be some genuine, not as obnoxious charisma? Well, first of all, it’s electro swing, so my first instinct is to step away from my laptop, keel over and die, especially when Meghan starts to singing about how she keeps it juicy and then eventually that she’s “still that bitch”, as if she was ever that bitch to begin with. There’s something so cynical about Trainor’s vocals that I didn’t notice just the true extent of until T-Pain came in with an infectious call-and-response and weirdly-mixed but fun-extruding harmonies that almost would convince me on the entire song if he didn’t have to play to Meghan’s lack of personality, especially when placed against each other in the bridge. T-Pain can sell this as some goofy cartoon clown, but it probably wouldn’t charted without Ms. Trainor, who brings pretty much nothing to the song other than taking it a tad too seriously, despite the fact that there’s no reason, lyrically, for this to even be a duet. Also, Meghan, I’m not sure you can even sing the line about GRAMMYs in T-Pain’s verse on the account of you only have one.

#52 - “Never be Lonely” - Jax Jones and Zoe Wees

Produced by Jax Jones, Mark Ralph, Neave Applebaum and Tom Demac

I actually really like Jax Jones’ producer tag, it’s cute and rhythmic, has a little stutter to it. It’s nice. I have to say more than that, don’t I? I have to acknowledge Zoe Wees’ voice being misued and manipulated to just sounding characterless, I have to acknowledge how this heavily interpolates the drop from “Rhythm is a Dancer” by Snap!, one of the best Eurodance songs ever despite some… regrettable lines. It spent six weeks at #1 in 1992, blocking off Jimmy Nails, Freddie Mercury, Luther Vandross, Janet Jackson and of course, “Ebenezer Goode” by the Shamen from the top spot, before reappearing in remixed form in 2003 and 2008, reaching the top 40 again both times. “Never be Lonely” doesn’t work as an update of the song because of completely different lyrical content that I actually hate, asking someone to tell her how it feels that she’ll always be there for them, it’s really patronising and weird. It doesn’t work as a reimagining or reinterpretation because it goes for the same tone, and doesn’t adopt or adapt any of the original lyrical conceits. The one thing it does have is a Cascada remix. Yes, that Cascada. I have no idea why, but it exists.

#18 - “Going Home” (Theme from Local Hero) - Mark Knopfler’s Guitar Heroes

Produced by Guy Fletcher

Oh, so I guess this episode really will get as serious as cancer. This one might take a while to explain. So in 1983, Bill Forsyth wrote and directed Local Hero, a highly-acclaimed comedy drama that is actually former US Vice President Al Gore’s favourite film. Its soundtrack features a five-minute instrumental piece known as the “Theme of the Local Hero”. I’ve never seen the film so I don’t know how exactly it appears or makes sense within its narrative but I do know it has far transcended its origin. “Going Home” was the first single in Mark Knopfler’s solo career and has become a staple in both his and his band’s live performances, as well as becoming another theme, now for Knopfler’s home football team, Newcastle United. It’s probably the most lukewarm take of all time to say that “Going Home” is a beautiful piece, it honestly gives me goosebumps from its transcendent new-age introduction and excellently distant sax from Michael Brecker, that eventually transform into a very 80s-sounding but still profoundly triumphant jam that emulates the feeling of a journey in the UK pretty well. Maybe that’s what the film’s about, I don’t know. It peaked at #56 in 1983, whilst Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” was #1 - good week for rock epics, I guess.

If you know Knopfler from anything, it’s likely his band Dire Straits, one of the few important British rock bands that hit #1 in the States and never back over here on the islands - their #1 is of course “Money for Nothing”. The legacy of Dire Straits is not something tangible for me or that I’ve ever really understood, their sound was varied and evolved through what was ultimately a very short career. They’re not a legendary act but are still big names and incredibly well-connected, especially Knopfler, who has played and produced extensively for many artists and soundtracks. In January, Knopfler sold over 100 of his guitar and amp equipment at auction and in March, he’s compiled a charity ensemble to cover “Going Home” in support of cancer awareness.

Its status as a charity single is the only possible explanation for why this nearly 10 minute instrumental piece even touched the charts let alone the top 20, but it is stuffed with big names, from rock icons like Brian May, RIngo Starr and Joan Jett and newer cats like Sam Fender and Orianthi to genuine oddballs like Keiji Haino and head-scratching inclusions like, uh, Brad Paisley, who I will only ever remember for “Accidental Racist”. There are over 60 musicians on this record and damn near all of them contributed through their guitar playing, other than Ringo on drums, The Who’s Roger Daltrey on my favourite, the harmonica (that you can barely hear at times - Daltrey’s harmonica should be put to better use), and a few others. You can tell that Fletcher and Knopfler did their best job to try and collate recordings that were clearly from different times, places, equipment set-ups and audio qualities, but this is still basically a meandering pile of guitar overdubs that lasts longer than some full EPs and doesn’t really let you register any single guitarist as them playing. The collectiveness of it may just be the point, to show a united front against cancer or what have you, and there’s definitely a lot to appreciate if you’re an in-depth fan of guitar playing or a guitarist yourself, of which I’m not. I will admit, this is genuinely impressively easy to sit through for how lengthy it is, largely because of the dexterity on display, the fact that the melody of the original “Going Home”, even when developed on in the many ways it is within this piece, is still so infectious, and also because it comes out of not just cynical philanthropy but a genuine passion for the guitar as an instrument. The cover art is a Sgt. Peppers parody of the musicians standing in front of a famous guitar shop in London, and the wide array of musicians from a lot of different genres, eras and even techniques shows how wide and universal this feels an appreciation of the guitar… but I’ll say what my dad always said about Dire Straits (because, really, dads are the only people with viable Dire Straits opinions): “it all becomes much of a muchness.” My favourite of theirs is “Walk of Life” by the way, it’s so goofy. Love it.

#14 - “FRI(END)S” - V

Produced by Connor McDonough and Riley McDonough

V is the latest of the BTS boys to release a solo English single, seemingly leading towards a solo career like Jung Kook, with credits stacked full of Anglophone pop songwriters and production from the McDonough brothers that results in a very serviceable pop song that I’m not sure would get much attention outside of the fact that it’s a BTS member, hence why sales jacked this one’s chart position up so high. It’s not a bad little song at all, in fact I like the distorted guitar lick and the amount of emotion V shows in his vocals despite all the effects, he has a real unique texture against the slodgier indie drums and the infectious bed of harmonies in the pre-chorus. The one way I could see this getting big organically would be that fun albeit gimmicky chorus that makes this an anti-climactic friend zone anthem, though the gimmick wears off after the second time and doesn’t really develop into anything new in the second chorus other than some pretty gross, reverb-drenched spectacle. I usually wouldn’t give this manufactured bedroom pop much more of the time of day but there’s not much in the way of obnoxious performance or toxic lyrics here, it’s just that it really could be any other vaguely bitter male singer’s song. The first most obvious comparison is Joji due to their vocal textures, but Charlie Puth or Lauv could have easily made this work too, though probably not as well as V does here, especially not Puth. God, that would be horrible. Thank God for BTS that this song was never offered to Puth (not that he’d accept a song he didn’t spend 20 hours writing and producing himself, of course). Ugh, enough Puth talk, let’s end the episode.

Conclusion

God, this was not a great week, huh? Even if I’m not fussed about the new version, the composition of “Going Home” makes Mark Knopfler and friends get a lock for Honourable Mention, and it really does end up as the song with the most - if not the only - human passion in this selection. Worst of the Week goes to Meghan Trainor, surprise, surprise, for “Been Like This” with T-Pain, and that’s all. Future, Shakira, O-Rod, Tyla, Hozier, Headie One, Artemas, Cardi B, Lil Nas X, Bryson Tiller, they could all hypothetically show up next week and it would be a big one, so prepare for that and who knows what else? It’s 2024, anything can chart. As for now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Cola Boyy but we go on and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song reviews #mark knopfler #guitar heroes #dire straits #v #jax jones #zoe wees #cascada #meghan trainor #t-pain

[motownfiction]

harbor

Lucy gets in the car on a Saturday morning. She, Will, and Emma drove back to Detroit this weekend so that Lucy could give a paper at Wayne State. Victorian popular culture and penny numbers. Some of her favorite things to talk about. She’s looking forward to it. Like always, she has on her red blazer, her blazing red lipstick, and a shiny red can of Coca-Cola in her cup holder. It’s never too early for the greatest drink in the world, she thinks, especially before a conference. Some people have coffee. Lucy has this. All she needs now is the right music.

When she hits the PLAY button on her mother’s car radio, she expects to hear the album she was listening to when they went to grab dinner last night: Celebrity Skin. Nobody can beat the best on a day where you also need to be the best. But that’s not what she hears. Instead, she hears what is probably the perfect opposite of Courtney Love.

I was happy in my harbor when you cut me loose / floatin’ on an ocean and confused …

It’s melancholy and acoustic. It’s also one of the CDs Emma brought with her on the drive back to the home that was never actually hers. She must have put it on for Grandma and Grandpa when they snuck her out for a caramel sundae at McDonald’s (which Lucy and Will most certainly knew about, but Emma gets excited when she thinks she’s breaking the rules). Lucy sighs but doesn’t turn the music off. She could. Celebrity Skin is right there on the passenger seat, just waiting for her. She just doesn’t.

Emma is eleven years old now, soon to be twelve, and she’s going through that sad music phase. Lucy’s pretty sure everybody goes through it. She and Sam had a theory that everybody’s sad music phase is unique to them – that no matter how popular the music is, it never sounds the same way to two people at once. In fact, once it’s somebody’s sad music, it’s practically unlistenable to everyone else. That’s how Lucy usually feels about Emma’s music. Just not this morning.

This morning, the acoustic crooning makes her cry.

She’s had years to adjust to the way life is now (and seven months to adjust to being a grandmother). She’s known for a long time that when Carrie and Charlie almost broke up, it was Elenore – Lucy’s own beautiful daughter – who came in between them. She’s known for a long time that Charlie took advantage of a childhood crush, that Charlie broke Elenore’s heart, that Charlie is full of shit. But just because she’s had time with it doesn’t mean she’s OK with it. In fact, she’s still a mess.

If Lucy thought nobody asked her how she felt when Sam died, then really nobody asked her how she felt when she lost Charlie’s friendship. It seemed like most people didn’t even realize she and Charlie had been real friends at all. Lucy doesn’t really blame them for that. When they were all just kids back here in Motown, they were never really that close. They loved each other on account of the twins, of course, but their friendship was always in the middle of things. Things changed once he and Carrie moved to New York. At first, it was just convenient. Lucy and Will couldn’t spend all their time with Sadie and Sam, and spending time with Sadie and Sam’s kid brother was the next best thing. Plus, they promised Sadie and Sam they’d keep an eye on the kid (who was twenty-three years old, a husband, and a father, but still a kid, always a kid, at least in their eyes). But after a while, it was less about conveniences and promises and more about Charlie for who he really was. He and Lucy used to talk for hours about their favorite books and films. Sometimes, they’d even go to the movies, just the two of them, like real family, they said. When Charlie and Carrie broke up, Lucy even took Charlie in. Like real family, she said. Apparently, Charlie didn’t see it the same way. If he had, Lucy wouldn’t be the grandmother of his middle child.

She can’t believe it, but she’s going to cry. Right here in the car, on her way to a conference.

Charlie was her friend. He meant something to her, and she trusted him. She used to give him her old books with her markings in the margins – something she wouldn’t do for just anybody. He was her friend, and to this day, Lucy misses talking to him. She misses his stories about leaving the TV remote in the refrigerator for reasons he could never explain. She misses staying out late with Will to see Charlie perform in Brooklyn. She misses Charlie. And she doesn’t even have time to miss him because she’s so busy hating him, too.

Lucy dabs at her eyes with the sleeves of her red jacket before she backs out of the driveway. Before she takes off, she knows she could change the CD. But she still doesn’t.

Today, Emma’s sad music phase is hers, too.

(part of @nosebleedclub february challenge -- day xviii!)

#drabble #writeblr #ch: lucy callaghan #year: 2006

[thisismyobsessionnow]

if you get this answer with your top 5 music artists and send it to the last 7 people in your notifications <3

Oh, hi!

Top 5 right now or of all time? Who knows, I think I'll do a mix and I'm also going to skip both Joker Out and Måneskin, because that would be too boring! Let's get some other music recs in here instead!

Not in any particular order:

Electric Callboy Y'all, if you don't already know and listen to EC I don't know what to say. They recently released a cover of Everytime we touch and if you haven't heard it do yourself a favor and go listen to it right now.

An Abstract Illusion If you followed me back in August and September last year when they released their second album after 6 years of silence, you're probably still sick of me raving about them. But these guys are so good, I'm so proud of them and I'll never stop praising them. The genre? Don't let this scare you but here we go; Ambient and atmospheric progressive blackened melodic death metal, or something like that. I, personally, would put a lot of weight on the ambient and atmospheric parts, their music is an experience. The new album, Woe, is written as a 1 hour song divided into seven tracks and I'll listen to that as a form of meditation, I get completely lost in the music.

Sonata Arctica My power metal roots. I talked about my love for them in some tags the other day. They saved my life. Period. I would not be who I am today without them, they helped me open so many doors in my life. Listening to Tallulah still brings me right back to 14 year old me crying in English class when I first discovered them.

Avantasia More power metal created by the one and only Tobias Sammet, love of my life. It's a metal opera project with tons of guest singers and all albums are concept with stories running through them, it's just great. Honestly, they're pretty much the only band I kept up with even during my dark years of not listening to music. I share my love for this band with my dad and we've been travelling to different places around Europe to see them every time they've toured since 2010.

The Halo Effect Of course I had to put some classic Gothenburg melodic death metal in here! And I mean I say classic but this is a new band, the members are not new though, they are THE pioneers coming back together to create possibly the best melodeath that's been heard in many, many years. Incredible. Amazing. Showstopping. Can't wait for their next album.

#music talk #Electric Callboy #An Abstract Illusion #Sonata Arctica #Avantasia #The Halo Effect #god I love talking about music #and especially memories and nostalgia connected to music #which is why I couldn't help myself from putting some thoughts in there

[dashawfrostart]

This Week In "Time & Again" #4: Musings, And More Lothar For Everyone!!!

So! I made myself a "To-Do Before Xmas/New Year's" list! And I'll show it to ya! Ta-daaaa!

Some stuff is vibrantly scratched out for the reason of being either a spoiler or something too private. But you get the idea. That is, of course, aside from my grand work on Chapter 5 of "Time & Again", depending on how busy I am with my "wife life" outside of artistic activities. I think I've never mentioned that, but in my scripts and notes I use "JLo" as a short way to say "Jeanny and Lothar". You're welcome 😁 You probably would say I start off the work on Doom anniversary artwork way too early, almost a whole month in advance. But I'd rather do it very well in advance, to make certain it's complete in time. I had a few situations before when I ended up failing my own tasks because I didn't properly estimate time and effort required to complete an artwork... Mind you, this summer I just flat out FORGOT about a celebratory poster with Stu, Alan and Jade that I wanted to draw. It just slipped my mind!.. And now I'm a bit sour about it, for these people celebrated whole 18 years (!) of existence this summer. You might even say, they're now of age!!! 🤣... but I... just forgot to draw a nice artwork featuring them. That's a shame. Well, I guess, I'll try to make up to them 2 years later, on their 20th anniversary 🤦‍♀️😤 (now that I'm thinking about it, it also might magically match with the release of the final chapter of "Time & Again", provided everything goes as smooth as before, and/or I manage to keep up good time-management... but we'll see). "Atlantis: The Lost Empire" is the Disney cartoon that inspired me TREMENDOUSLY back in the day. And it still does. You might clearly see the visual style similarities between "Atlantis" and majority of my works, and particularly when it comes down to "Time & Again". I want to try harder and make my works look even closer to "Atlantis" - which means I'll have to literally break my artist's self in order to simplify/alter peculiarities of my own style to achieve what I want. That will not be easy... But this is what I would love to do. I will most likely talk even further about "Atlantis" in my next posts, perhaps not once, for a wholesome art research is waiting for me. Again. ... And since my dedicated friend Mr. Caco is already wearing the jolly Christmas bells on his head (body?..) and looks pretty excited, I should not disappoint neither himself or myself. I'll try to do everything on my list mindfully and ahead of time, whatever I can (not pushing myself too hard tho, because, according to my experience, this only upsets a person in the end). An incredibly active time awaits me in these pre-Christmas weeks. Yup. ... Aaaand of course I misspelled "practise" again 😫 Ok, memorizing and moving on!

And you know what's cool?!.. As I've been writing this post gradually little by little every day, I've already completed 2 of the tasks on the list, and 2 more are partially complete! Yipeeee! So it's all looking very good right now! 🥳🤩

It's been a few days of nice steady progress - in both life and creative endeavours. I'm trying to attempt a psychotherapy session with myself from time to time, to figure why why my mind - or rather "a radio inside my head") has been pretty much completely stuck on Duran Duran's latest album, Madness and OMD, with a slight prevalence of the latter. I presume, considering overall feel of jolliness these bands have to offer, it must have something to do with a subconscious intention to compensate for a blinding, unbearable rainbow of sh-... 😅 sorry, I meant: "an unfortunate set of events" that will indeed take place in Chapter 5. Because I truly feel I must compensate somehow. Psychological questions of how exactly we choose music to accompany our activities, what the choice is based on, and what exactly it depends on - all of that is extremely interesting to me, especially since music is such a big part of my life. However, the music I've been listening to while working on the chapters of "Time & Again" is a whole huge topic to talk about - possibly for hours at least, but most likely for days. So I presume I'll make a separate post about it a bit later on, depending on my inspiration. I think its fairly safe to give me "a music connoisseur" descriptor for proper identification. This states clearly how much I love, appreciate, and value music as a form of art. This has been always true, since I was a teenager, I believe. I used to collect music magazines, namely "Classic Rock", and books about my favourite bands. And I sure still keep it up, just not as actively as I used to before (for somebody spends nearly all her time drawing some weird graphic novel of sorts, cough... unbelievable!).

But back to "Time & Again" now! Within those last days I've drawn Lothar only, avoiding the other character completely. Currently most of the latest pages only contain his pretty and highly suspicious smile. (like that one, for example... 👇)

That is because the other character still requires a higher degree of certainty in their design. I already had the design finalized and confirmed earlier on, but now it needs a slight correction for a better fit into, mmm, let's say the mood of certain events. I believe, I'll have to refer to Doomguy's mugshot spritesheet working on that peculiar task. Why in the hell (did you hear me?! "why in the hell", 😉 ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-haaaa... *wink wink, twitch twitch* aaah, that was a terrible joke, wasn't it?..) does this game emerge yet again as I write about my graphic novel?.. Well, I believe you will see sometime next year 😉

One more thing that still requires urgent attention from me is the final design of Lothar's underarm pistol holsters. While the choice of his equipment has already been made, I need to invest some little time to do a little training/practice before I start adding that peculiar element of his outfit steadily on each page. To me, one of the trickiest things about redrawing guns from the guns existing in the real world is to find good reference photos, because you need a good look from as many sides and angles as possible, if you want precision and no crooked art. Otherwise... you have to improvise. Which I can do. But I prefer not to. Even though the guns Jeanny and Lothar have in my story are all based off the real pistols, SMGs and whatnot starting from Chapter 2, I allow myself to stray from the actual designs a little (for the high amount of details is going to be appreciated only by the gun nerds around... but I doubt it most of my readers will even pay attention and google for those guns to check if they're taken straight from reality or not). But I deeply enjoy to keep the guns recognizable enough for someone who actually might appreciate that. 🤓🌹 ... But goodness gracious, is it ever difficult to find good reference photos for the guns! 😤 Sometimes it's even hard to find good ones for the guns from the videogames, too. I remember, once I wanted to equip Jeanny with a pair of magnums from Tomb Raider 1, but I could not find any information on what kind of a real life pistol those were based off, and the screenshots from the game - obviously - were pretty pixelated and/or blurry. Soooo... no magnums for Jeanny (yet). No offense, Jeanny. I tried hard, believe me.

What else happened lately, you dare ask me? You see, when you keep drawing and drawing constantly, you might find yourself getting carried away - and sometimes NOT in the direction you expected. When your artworks are stylized - like mine - and when you start to draw details that you see fit or needed, you might find it that you're subconsciously altering your own style, you're "reshaping" it on the go, aaaaand... it might turn weird. You begin to "stumble", you might say. When this happens, I feel like my adorable and treasured creative spark that's always been serving me well has just accidentally and unexpectedly started to burn the curtains, and now the entire room smells funky. Eeeew. When I feel like my head's on fire because I'm overdoing it, I might occasionally take a break and explore the works of the other artists. And that's EXACTLY when "Atlantis" comes in. And then... when I feel like I'm gettin' overly "stuck", it's time to explore and refresh. Makes sense, right?! Currently my "refreshing state" includes gazing at "Atlantis" screenshots, promo arts and animated gifs, as well as sketching the Doom 30th Anniversary poster. The latter still needs a lot of work - but I'm not gonna babble about it here, because this post is primarily about "Time & Again".

Although a lot of stuff still needs to be done for Chapter 5 and the rest of "Time & Again", the work on it goes steady and nicely, and with very little interruptions. A fight with unnecessary perfectionism goes quite well, too. There are still a few dark spots here and there in regard of certain angles and designs - but I'm enjoying the process through and through!

Perhaps, a screenshot from a WIP frame for a farewell will especially cheer you up! Mmmmm, dat look.

Gotta wrap it up, wrote too much again; I gotta keep something exciting for the next post after all, hahaaaaaa! See you next time! 👋

#This Week In Time And Again #TimeAndAgainbyDWF #wips #krita #graphic novel

[lale-txt]

🍑 online dating headcanons: Straw Hat Pirates

[part 1 w/ Whitebeard pirates] [part 2 w/ Supernovas]

a/n: i've written Luffy & Zoro in part 2 already, but wanted to do the rest of the crew still hehe. again VERY SORRY if i accidentally roasted your favorite, i'm not wrong though

Robin

hot milfs in your area want YOU

not she though

i'm sorry

Robin has this effortless beauty that makes her look good in every. single. photo.

it's unfair but she's just built different

she collects matches like cute little stickers in a sticker album, chuckling a little when a new one gets added to the collection

will make the most blunt small talk feel like deep talk, as if you stripped down to your soul, offering it to her completely

there are only few topics you can spark her real interest in, but she will still be polite and pretend she's interested in everything you say

she will find the most charming excuses to not meet up for a date offline

"sorry, i can't, my pet opossum needs emergency surgery"

and next thing you see is her posting on socials how she's living her best life on the Sunny, getting served sweet treats by Sanji and possibly snogging Franky (she deserves it though)

Franky

buys the premium versions of every dating apps for endless SUUUPERRR LIKES

his photo is him in the little red speedos and a ridiculous hair do that still suits him surprisingly well (maybe braids that cover his nipples)

he's the one that texts first for sure, not wasting any time

will definitely mention that he's able to vibrate in his bio, making vibrator sales on the Grand Line reach a new low because everyone wants him only

very relatable though, i would want to try that too

fun to chat with, even though if you don't end up meeting you can still save his number for ages for a spontaneous booty call, he doesn't mind

will send you a light signal with nipple beams if you can't find him out there

Sanji

a casanova on every app

yes he has installed them ALL (for range, honey)

his profile picture is him in the kitchen, chopping 'a little something' up but it's a whole 10 course menu ("oh, that? that's nothing... wait till you see what's on the menu for you WINK")

all the foodies in his radius are obsessed with him, trying to match him for a date

i would, too

he asked Franky or Usopp if they can build him a device that constantly swipes right for him, he can't miss a possible match and is getting cramps in his right hand from all the swiping

chain smoking from the stress of replying them all until he drops his phone into the soup one day

he takes it as a sign that maybe he isn't made for online dating and will try his luck offline again

Nami

from cat burglar to catfish in just three days!

Nami is sweet but would definitely try to rip her matches off all their money

at least the cis men

she's having more fun on the lesbian dating apps anyway

"it's called reparations, look it up"

very big flirt, very stunning photos, her wanted poster too of course for some extra attention

good luck keeping her entertained for more than three sentences though until she's moving on to the next one

get in line bestie

Usopp

your local indie soft boy

are you matching Usopp or Sogeking? you'll never know

goes by the slogan 'a little white lie here and there won't do harm'

please hold the line for 2-5 business days while he will handcraft a personality to match yours

will tell you about all the sweet date ideas he has with you that will make you fall head over heels in love with him without ever meeting him

all of that aside i think he is a pleasure to match with

he's gentle and caring, will never ghost you, probably has the best memes and not just another fuckboi

Jinbe

his online dating profile is very dad-like

which also means he will respond to everything with "👍" or "okay"

hang in there bestie, he is much more fun to talk to offline

Robin took a nice photo of him that he will use on EVERY app, one where he smirks a little in his best kimono

though he'll probably delete every app quick once he gets flooded with thirsty messages if it's true that sharks have two dicks

they do

will rather look offline for a partner but still give everyone of the crew advice on the do's and don't of dating apps like a worried parent

Brook

"looking for something to bone?"

banned from every platform for harassing everyone about their panties :(

#nico robin #op franky #jinbe #sanji #usopp #nami #one piece x reader #cat burglar nami #black leg sanji #demon child robin #soul king brook #one piece headcanons #sanji x reader #jinbe x reader #usopp x reader #nami x reader #robin x reader #straw hat pirates #one piece imagine

[warmau]

Love Struck!AU x SF9

lately i just need to write about every member of every kpop group being in capital L love. find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 | ateez | the boyz

youngbin

overcompensates with selfless acts that go above and beyond what any person deserves

offers to carry your bags, learns about plumbing when you mention you have a leaky faucet, asks if you want him to drive you to your appointments which you are perfectly fine getting to on your own

if there was a puddle of mud on the ground, youngbin would throw his brand new jacket over it just so you could walk over it

even though you could literally just. walk around it

doesn't even realize he's overdoing it

he just loves you and therefore knows he has to show it at any given part of the day

but not like in an aggressive manner

just a small smile and a "i can pick you up and drop you off if you want!"

dawon: actually, youngbin, we have practice at that tim-

youngbin, shoving a sandwich down dawon's throat: so you said noon right?

when you respectfully decline any of his help, mostly because you are worried you're using your friend for his kindness, everyone assures you that's not it

actually everyone is super confused how you haven't seen why it is weird that youngbin would commit hours of research for you when you ask offhandedly if you should visit europe for the summer and then show up at your door with ten pamphlets on different european destinations 'by chance'

because - that's weird - and weird means, in the great way of sf9, that he has a crush on you

"youngbin, you're being so nice to me these days how could i ever repay you?

youngbin about to say that there's nothing you need to do, he just likes being able to help

dawon, shoving a sandwich down youngbin's throat for revenge and also to answer on his leader's behalf: "actually, if you could finally go on a date with him - i think that would repay it."

you get all shy and murmur that you don't know if youngbin wants that, and youngbin can only vigorously nod that he does

(due to the sandwich)

inseong

no clue if puppy syndrome is a thing, but he's got it

the human embodiment of big puppy eyes whenever you're around, big puppy pout, big puppy wagging his tail at just the mention of your name

even without all that - the energy that exists around inseong when you are near him and giving him attention - it's enough to quite literally blow everyone and everything else away

and there are lasting effects

as in you walk away from the conversation and fifteen minutes later inseong still can't make out a single word, just chin on his palm - daydreamy look in his eyes

jaeyoon tries snapping his fingers in his face, tickling him, even flicking his best friend straight on the forehead but.

nothing.

the only way he breaks out of the spell you cast on him is either a long time passes or you show up again and inseong is back at your full attention

it's getting bad, like to a point where he walks into walls or drops his phone in the sink when he starts thinking about you

incidents where he nearly topples over onto poor chain who is like get off of me you are built like a skyscraper

or just flat out doesn't move a muscle in the right direction during practice and it's literally driving youngbin mad

so jaeyoon (like the best friend he is) arranges for you to come hang out with him but tada it's actually a candlelight dinner in the sf9 kitchen he and the rest of the boys set up for you and inseong

and you're like w....whats all this and inseong is like i don't know either

and jaeyoon (who like the best friend he is picked the nicest smelling candle from the tj maxx sale aisle) appears and lights it and is like this is for you two to confess and for inseong to be cured of puppyism

you: puppyism?

inseong, red as a tomato: i think he means like the way i act around you like a - um -

jaeyoon: like a lovesick puppy, so like....collar him or whatever

you and inseong both looking at him like do what? and jaeyoon is like sorry that didn't come out right

either way you get the point please date the oversized man whose brain wont work unless you give him a kiss

jaeyoon

opposite of his best friend, jaeyoon doesn't need to fall over his feet when he's lovestruck

he will literally just let you know how he feels

"i like you"

you smile at him and laugh, "i like you too!"

and jaeyoon is like amazing so we are both "liking" each other how lovely how nice

and that is....................where it ends

he literally is so preoccupied with the concept of confessing that he forgets the part where he has to like.

confirm the relationship

so for like a month after you are both just saying 'i like you' to each other and he thinks it's romantic and you still think it's platonic

it's a mess

he keeps asking himself when the right time to ask you to go to the movies with him is, if he should pull out the home cooking - why haven't you pulled out the home cooking? do you not "like" him enough for that?

he paces around before you come over because is he dressed too casual - i mean he's your boyfriend, he should put effort into it right?

and then you show up and nothing is different and everything is the same and when inseong is like

jaeyoon you're dating them right, why don't you guys like kiss? and jaeyoon is like holy shit i haven't even thought about that yet

and dawon is like how have you not thought about that kissing is all i think about ever

and so jaeyoon's head gets even more scrambled because now you come over and he's like ..... kiss......lips......mouth...hand? kiss on mouth...hand...lips.....hug?

and you're like what? and he's like hug lips mouth? and you're like jaeyoon are you ok?

oh my god at some point you're both alone and jaeyoon is walking you home or something and he reaches out to grab your hand because like that's normal right? people dating do that right?

and you're like oh! and he's like is this ok? and you're like a-does it mean something?

and jaeyoon is like it means the same thing as i like you....you know....like how i said it a month ago and i just thought we could take the next step-

he's rubbing his neck and blushing and he has always been sauve and straightforward and it dawns on you that the entirety of this month he has been saying he likes you like in that way

and you're like wait you like-love me? and he's like yes wait what did you think- and you're like i thought it was like-like ....like friend like?

you and jaeyoon just staring at each other and then he's like should i let go of your hand then

and you're like no. actually just kiss me we've wasted a LITERAL month

dawon

always the class clown, being lovestruck somehow only tends to make it worse

but not worse like oh he gets louder and cracks more jokes.

my man has upgraded to mildly dangerous body humor.

you are all together and dawon is suddenly like you guys think i can climb that uneven, rickety tree? and youngbin is like no and you're like no but dawon is like it'll be fun just watch

dawon: should i drink spoiled milk

you: why-

dawon: im hardcore it'll be fine - look im just a goofy guy who - oh my god. call an ambulance.

the idea is that every time you are in the vicinity and glowing like an angel without a halo dawon is like

gotta do something so outrageously stupid that it grabs their attention and/or lands me in a situation where i can excuse myself to run away from my feelings. perfect.

it's literally the dumbest logic on the planet

everyone tells him it's the dumbest logic on the planet

but dawon is convinced it's the best reaction to....to the butterflies in his stomach

of course, you don't find any of it amusing, you are just in a constant state of worry

one time dawon takes it too far and probably tries to do something that could actually seriously hurt him

and you stop him by grabbing him and being like stop - i don't know why you don't care about yourself but i care about you so stop being stupid

and dawon is staring down at you like

"pause, you care about me? like on a scale of 1-10 how muc-"

you kiss him and mutter a "11" and dawon thinks he sees stars

youngbin thanking you profusely like we were worried for his actual literal life

zuho

rather scream into the void than confront how he feels about you

the private twitter account is blowing up with tweets about how he wants to hold your hand and how that makes him pathetic

dawon replying under each of them: tru

rowoon replying under each of them: not true!!!!! love is awesome!!!! pog as chani would say!!!!!!

you talk to him about something and his ears are full of white noise and he cant help but think about how your face is somehow the most beautiful thing he's ever seen and how he could write a whole album about the curve of your nose and the color of your eyes and -

you ask him what he thinks and he can only reply with a sound that is both pained and high pitched and when you raise your eyebrow he's like gtg uh feed my cats

when you're around he disappears to "feed his cats" like . ten times

surprisingly being a lovestruck fool does fuel his ability to make music

but it is also sad and about being heartbroken and the members are like hey do you wanna talk about it and zuho is like no

there are spotify playlists with your name, there are journal entries about you, there are iPhone notes app scribbles about you

he's down bad

everyone knows he's down bad

you also figure out he's down bad and so you finally confront him

except you're like......... zuho who are you in love with? ill help you if i can

and he looks at you like a deer in headlights because that's the most bizarre shit you could ask him

and because of the shock he blurts out the truth

"you. i love you."

screams after and you jump up and he's like i need to leave and you're like AT LEAST LET ME SAY IT BACK?????

rowoon

it's the cluelessism of it all

he looks at you one day and instead of just being a person you are beaming at him like a direct sunray and he's like woah! weird!

he just kind of becomes more clumsy around you since you've got this new effect on him

trips over his big feet, giggles randomly while you're talking, forgets he's in the middle of the street when you're walking by his side and someone has to honk three times for him to start walking again

honestly no one can tell what's wrong with him

because is he like ... is it early onset amnesia? is he just spacing out?

even chani notices the shift because rowoon has gone from annoying him to laying half off the couch with his hand in an empty pringles can

"what are you thinking about?"

rowoon just mutters your name and chani is like .... i don't know about all this but maybe you like them?

reality hits rowoon like a freight truck .... liking you? that's new

he googles 'what to do when you like someone?' literally googles it

tries to show you by playing it cool, tries to show you by showering you in random compliments but he's tongue tied when you smile so he's like i love your hair it looks like. cheese

embarrasses himself over and over and over until he just hunches himself over one day and is like

why is liking someone so hard? isn't it supposed to be easy?

and you're like haha i know the feeling, ive liked someone for so long but he never takes a hint and rowoon is like omg who

and you look at him and you're like well he's a tall clueless handsome guy

and rowoon stares at you like he sounds nice

and you're like you

and he's like oh that's nice - WAIT

taeyang

flirts with you but it flops because he's been flirting with you since you first met

so you cannot tell the difference and taeyang is like what am i doing wrong

inseong: karma for always winking and calling them cute when now you want them to do it back to you

taeyang: shuttup sad old man

inseong: you've been hanging out too much with chani. sniffle

he decides ok so regular flirting doesn't work, so what about lowkey flexing?

he wears the expensive watch and puts his hand in front of you like, hey and you're like hi? and he's like notice anything? and you're like .... um..... oh, your tag is sticking out of your shirt! and taeyang is like .........F

ok so not flexing, what about compliments?

he piles like ten of them on you and you're like oh - thanks, but i don't really like this outfit anyway and he's like....F

ok so not flexing, compliments, let's try playing hard to get

he gives you the cold shoulder when you come over and you immediately are like taeyang are you mad at me if you are im sorry so stop being a weirdo and he's like........F

finally he just reverts to himself and just keeps up the regular flirting and the soft touches and smiles

and he realizes the difference now is when he flirts - he just has to follow up on it

so when he asks " i cant taste my lips, can you do it for me?"

and you reply with "sure" and roll your eyes

he just . does kiss you and you're like oh.

and he's like well what do you say and you're like your lips taste sweet and he's like NO I MEAN-

you just kiss him again because now you get what he actually means LOL

hwiyoung

sulks when you're not around, and then doesn't go near you when you are around

it's like please make up your mind

is the definition of if i stare at you long enough you will fall in love with me right?

but he stares from ten feet away

it takes everyone all their strength to drag him out of his room when you're over and even then he puts his hoodie up and plays with his shoelaces and acts like he's a five year old

when he gets put next to you in the car ride somewhere he almost passes out from holding his breath from nervousness and you turn to him and you're like hwi you're turning purple?!?!?

you tap his shoulder when he isn't looking and call him hwi~ and he thinks his knees like. give out he crumbles to the floor and you're like oh my god are you sick??!?!!?

to put it simply, being in love forces him to lose his human ability to live

gets a pep talk from literally every member about how he cannot act like this. it's giving you the wrong impression and yet he just

he can't do anything about it you enter his personal space and the little nerves in his brain go haywire

"i don't want them to think im being rude, but it's kind of like im allergic to them."

"oh - you're allergic to me?"

hwiyoung turns and you're giving him a look and he's like oh god i mean - i don't - i mean like -

and he doesn't know what to say but you just giggle and you're like "fine, if you're allergic we'll have to make immune"

and he's like blinking like wha-

you wrap your hands around him and he's like !!!! and you're like here just take me in large doses until you build up immunity ok?

hwiyoung nodding because he has forgotten the entirety of the korean language

chani

realizes he's being freaking weird when he bails on his plans to eat and game to hang out with you

prioritizing social interaction over being alone in his room......now that's not normal

yes, ok, so he likes you - but now he's like

no one can ever know that. i will not be left alone if anyone finds out.

unfortunately, he asks jaeyoon of all people if he knows what food you like and jaeyoon is like

OH YOU WANNA ASK THEM ON A DATE RIGHT SO YOU WANNA LOOK UP RESTAURANTS WITH THAT FOOD RIGHT?

chani standing in the doorway like. what. no....

the minute chani starts picking the spot next to you when you're all together is his downfall

the entire world knows how he feels and he's like oh fuck seriously

he helps you go shopping and he comes home and every member is just like :) tell us about the date :)

and he's like SHUTTUP

calls you by a nickname and rowoon almost chokes on his food in surprise, because chani?????? gave someone???? a nickname????? and it isn't a combination of the word ass and hole?????

he cannot escape the fact that little things for others, are big things for him

being attentive and caring and even just smiling in your presence is enough to give away how he's feeling

let alone he dropped a rank in league so everyone is like ah - he's distracted with someone~!

it gets unbearable to a point where chani is like i cant live with these people always bothering me so im just going to confess

he pulls you aside and is like "i want to date you - is that ok?" and you're like of course, was wondering when you'd ask dummy and he's like,,,,,,listen,,,,

assumes the teasing will die down when you both come into the room holding hands

BUT OH IS HE WRONG

inseong: i got dibs on being the wedding planner, eat dirt youngbin

#sf9 scenarios #sf9 au #sf9 imagines #sf9 x reader #youngbin scenarios #inseong scenarios #jaeyoon scenarios #dawon scenarios #rowoon scenarios #chani scenarios #hwiyoung scenarios #taeyang scenarios #zuho scenarios #youngbin au #jaeyoon au #chani au #inseong au #rowoon au #zuho au #taeyang au #sf9 #sfw #lovestruck!au #youngbin imagines #inseong imagines #jaeyoon imagines #dawon imagines #rowoon imagines #chani imagines #hwiyoung imagines

[parkersroses]

sunflowers. | harry styles.

pairing: harry styles x fem!reader (dad!harry, husband!harry)

summary: harry is very much in love with his little family.

word count: 2724 words

warning(s): a sprinkle of sexual mentions and a whole lot of fluff

disclaimer: gif is not mine. 

author’s note: hey there. been a while. i missed writing here and the reason i haven’t been doing that is because i was focused on finishing school. of course now, i still am busy with school, having to start my degree. but i miss writing so i thought i’d make this little piece here. it’s my first harry styles fic! quite exciting and nerve-wrecking for me. but as always, leave a like and a comment if you enjoyed this, also constructive comments do help me to improve my writing and i do want to be better at it. and reblog (!) it really helps writers out in creating content for you so pls do so if you like it. all the love x

She pushes her cart down the aisle as she browses through the shelves of delicious snacks. She already has picked out a bunch of biscuits and juice boxes when her phone rings, making her jump a bit. She takes out her phone and smiles as the screen showcases the contact name ‘lovie’ with a picture of her husband. She accepts the call as she continues to stroll down the aisle. 

“Hi, lovie!” she answers happily. “Hello, darling. Hope everything’s alright there,” Harry answers back. She giggles as she stops by the fruits and vegetables section. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that since you’re the one that’s looking after the house?” She questions about Harry’s intention of calling her. He chuckles through the phone. “Pfft, don’t be silly, love. I got everything under control here,” He says. She imagines how he is probably pouting a bit on the other side of the phone as she playfully rolls her eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, hun. Now, what do you need?” She asks, figuring that Harry has some last minute additions to the grocery. Harry hums and thinks as Y/N picks out some fresh salads. “Could maybe buy more bread for us?” He asks, which confuses Y/N as she thought she has already bought bread for them.

“Harry, didn’t I already buy those, like, two those days ago?” She questions as she starts picking out some fruits. She picks out two packets of strawberries and grapes each and one honeydew melon. She feels as though Harry is hesitating to answer back through the phone. “Yeah, but.. I got hungry so I finished most of them,” He says as though he is embarrassed by admitting this to his wife. Y/N only giggles at this information. 

“You and your bread. Any kind that you fancy this time?” She asks as she makes her way to the wet area of the supermarket. “Just the usual ones. Oh, and the whole wheat bread if there’s any,” He requests. Y/N hears the sound of cutleries clanking in the background, though she brushes it off, thinking it is just Harry cleaning the kitchen. “Alright. I’ll see you guys at home, yeah? I’m nearly done here,”

“Of course, darling. Bubs and I will be waiting,” he says, and Y/N smiles at the thought of her little family at home. The couple say their goodbyes and hang up. Y/N makes a note to herself to get some bread after picking out some salmon before checking herself out of the supermarket. 

After over a year of marriage, the both of them decided to start a family of their own. It excited her to think about Harry with their own child, knowing very well how good he is with children in general. They were both overjoyed by the news that they will be expecting a baby girl, more so of Harry than herself. He was ecstatic to be a father throughout the pregnancy journey. Even on the occasional dates they would go on, he would always make sure they picked some of the most private areas, paparazzi and fans-free. It was an important time for them and they wanted to keep things on the low most times. 

Now, their baby girl Rosie is six months old and is just the purest ball of sunshine and happiness. Harry and Y/N swore that their hearts grew ten times bigger upon first laying their eyes on her baby. Of course after she was born, it was tiring enough for them to handle a baby as they were new to being parents. Though, they managed to get the hang of it after some sleepless nights and cleaning up baby vomit. 

All of that which leads up to this moment where Y/N is buying some groceries for the family. Harry suggested they should take little Rosie out for a picnic. Although it was rather difficult to go outside without them getting papped and stalked, they luckily had a backyard that was big enough to have their little picnic together. It was all fenced up with a couple of flowers planted. It was ideally the perfect place to relax and have some family gatherings. 

Y/N quickly gets home in time for dinner, not before buying some Chinese food for her and Harry. She unlocks the door and quickly rushes by the living room and into the kitchen to put the heavy bags of groceries down. Harry, who had been folding the laundry and entertaining his daughter, notices his wife and calls out to her. “Hi, honey!” Baby Rosie, who has been laying on a plush little blanket, perks her head up and excitedly babbles after her father’s voice. “Hey, lovie! Give me a minute to put these away!” Y/N yells back at him.

Harry hums and puts away the last of the clean laundry in a basket before laying on his side next to Rosie. He lets his baby grab a hold of his large hand. He watches as Rosie puts his tiny little hand on the center of his palms, smiling widely as she looks at him and babbles about in baby language. It’s not long until Y/N comes in with a bag of Chinese food and some baby food. “C’mon, let’s eat, my loves,” She gently says as she sets the food down on the coffee table. Rosie holds out her arms to her mother; much to her delight, Y/N carries her up and sets her down on her lap. 

Y/N multitasks eating her dinner and feeding Rosie throughout dinner time. The faint sounds of a Fleetwood Mac album playing on the vinyl player filling the background. “So, what’s on the menu for tomorrow’s picnic?” He says as takes a bite off his spring roll. Y/N shrugs and wipes the excess baby food off Rosie’s mouth. “Don’t know yet. Maybe I’ll make those smoked salmon sandwiches that you like.”  

Harry playfully moans in delight. “You mean, those sandwiches you make are award-winning, darling,” he says, which makes Y/N giggles at her silly husband. “Well, I hope they are, Mr. Styles. Would be shameful if the salmon I bought just went to waste.” Little Rosie eventually finishes her food and decides to play around with her mother’s hair. She stares and strokes on Y/N’s hair, gently tucking it at times. The couple smiles widely at the sight of their daughter. “You doing alright, bubs?” Rosie merely stares at her parents with her big green eyes, not understanding their question. It still amazes Y/N how much of Harry’s features Rosie inherited. “Surely you weren’t a handful with your daddy this evening, were you?” Y/N playfully questions. 

Harry chuckles and takes Rosie out of Y/N’s arms. “No, she wasn’t. However, she wasn’t helpful in helping daddy with the laundry, were you princess?” He says as he lifts his baby girl above both of the couple’s heads, eliciting the sweetest laugh from Rosie. He does this a few more times until he stops since he didn’t want her to get dizzy and throw up. 

It was a very domestic moment for them. Just the three of them, having dinner, smiles and laughter all around. It is moments like this where Harry prefers the simplicity of life, in the comfort of his little family. “Think it’s time for someone to go to dreamland, don’t ya think?” Y/N says as she caresses Rosie’s soft cheeks with her finger, Rosie obviously showing her tiredness with her droopy eyes. Harry nods in agreement, already packing up to empty food boxes to throw away. 

“You wanna go up first, love? Nurse Rosie a bit. I’ll clean this up quickly.” Y/N insists on helping out Harry after he’s taken care of the house while she went to buy groceries. Though, Harry insists back on helping to clean, saying it’s no big deal. Without much of an argument, Y/N lifts up Rosie from his arms and heads up, not before giving Harry a loving kiss of appreciation. 

After nursing her, Rosie quickly falls asleep in her mother’s arms, lulling to the faint sounds of her heartbeat as she rests her little head on her chest. Harry soon joins in the room and he stops to admire the sight he has become all too familiar with. Just the sight of the woman he loves, carrying and rocking their baby daughter to sleep, a feeling of warmth and peace fills his entire heart. Sometimes, he can’t believe how lucky he was to have ended up in this position and he always thanks the universe for blessing him a family that he loves with his entire soul. 

Rosie gets tucked in her cot, a soft purple blanket covering her. Harry and Y/N go back into their room soon after. Harry lays on his bed with his eyes closed, humming a random tune while Y/N picks out her nightwear, which turns out to only be one of Harry’s T-shirts and underwear. “Can you believe she’s six months old now?” Harry asks out of the blue. Y/N turns around and stands between his legs. He sits up and gently pulls Y/N in by the waist. She runs her hands through his curls, he sighs in delight of the feeling. “Time flies, huh?” 

“Soon she’s gonna start walkin’, runnin’, she’ll become quite the troublemaker,” he jokes and pouts at Y/N. She chuckles at his silliness. “It’s nothing we can’t handle, right?” She smiles at him lovingly as she strokes his cheeks. Harry smiles back and puts his head on her stomach, giving it a light kiss through the dress she’s wearing. 

“Thank you. I feel like I haven’t said that enough,” he mumbles against her stomach. She looks down at him with a confused expression. “You carried her for a whole nine months and went through so much to deliver her to us. So, thank you. And I love you, darling. I’m so lucky.”

Y/N feels her breath hitched at his confession and she smiles at him. She leans down and kisses him hard. Sometimes, she thinks that she is the lucky one. She managed to find someone who loves and support her unconditionally, even through the late night snacks she had while pregnant with little Rosie. Harry doesn’t hesitate to kiss back and pulls her closer to him. She feels his tongue swipe across her bottom lip, asking for entrance. And who is she to deny making out with her incredibly talented and beautiful husband as she opens her mouth, making the kiss more passionate. Harry hears a soft moan from her and swears he feels shivers running up his spine.

They break away after feeling the oxygen running out of their lungs and lay their foreheads against each other’s, breathing heavily. “I love you, too,” she breathes out. They both smile widely at each other, feeling like teenagers in love. She pecks his lips one last time before pulling away from him. She starts undressing as she makes her way to the ensuite bathroom, Harry watching her every move as his mouth gapes open slightly. 

God, my wife is so fucking beautiful, he thinks to himself. He continues to admire Y/N as she undresses until she’s fully nude. He gulps as he feels the blood rushing towards his lower region.

Harry’s cut out from his thoughts as a piece of fabric flungs to his face. He grabs it from his face and he chokes on his saliva upon seeing Y/N laced lavender-coloured underwear. He looks up to his wife leaning against the bathroom door, every inch of her on display for him and him only.

“Mind joining me for a shower, baby?” she smirks as she quickly heads in the shower. 

When he hears the shower turn on, Harry jumps up from the bed and quickly takes off his clothes, tripping on his sweatpants on his way to join his wife in the shower.

━

Rosie giggles loudly and she reaches out for the blue butterfly in front of her. Y/N smiles at this soft moment and holds up her digital camera to take a picture. The sky was a nice shade of blue and clouds looked like cotton candy hanging above. The flowers in the garden were blooming and Harry managed to pick out two sunflowers for his sunflowers. It seemed like the perfect day.

Harry comes out with a bowl of freshly washed strawberries and grapes. He sits down next Y/N on the blanket they laid out, giving a soft kiss on her forehead, before looking over at his daughter. “What’s that, bub?” he asks Rosie in a seemingly excited voice. Rosie squeals and babbles to her father as she points out to the blue butterfly fluttering in front of her. 

“That’s right, bubs! That's a butterfly!” Harry picks her up and puts her on his lap. Y/N is already munching away on the strawberries. Harry opens his mouth to her, implying that he wants to be fed with the red fruits, Y/N rolls her eyes at his silliness but complies as she puts it in his mouth, plucking out the stem. As she does this, little Rosie looks at the exchange and opens her mouth wide, copying Harry. The couple merely laughed at the little girl’s behaviour. 

“You want a strawberry, Rosie?” Y/N smiles as picks one out, she bites lightly on the tip of it so Rosie could have the smallest bite of the fruit. Rosie whines and reaches out for the tiny piece. “Calm down, you bugger. Might wanna say ‘please’ to mommy first, yea?” Harry says to her gently as he rubs her back.

Of course, Rosie wouldn’t know how to say any words at all yet, so she babbles in her baby language and whines to be fed. “Think that might be ‘please’, love,” he says jokingly to his Y/N. 

“Well, who am I to say no to the cutest girl ever?” She jokes back and puts the tiny piece of strawberry in Rosie’s mouth, her mouth slightly stained from the juices. Harry wipes it off with a napkin and leans back on his arms, admiring the beautiful day outside. He takes in the clean summer air as he listens to his daughter babbling about to her mother, Y/N merely nods back as if she understands and talks in the most gentle voice to her. 

Harry sees Rosie picking up the large sunflower he picked out, her little fingers brushing against the yellow petals. He takes a look at Y/N and as he sees her smile, he thinks back about how lucky he is to have them two. There is not a day where Harry was never in awe of the love and passion Y/N gives to the family and he thinks of how he couldn’t possibly love his Rosie more every day. 

He breaks off the other sunflower from its stem and tucks it behind Y/N’s ear. She looks up and blushes at the gesture.  “You okay, H?” she asks. 

Harry nods and smiles at her. “I just really love you,” he says as he cups Y/N’s cheek, stroking it gently. 

Y/N feels the heat rising up to her cheeks. There is not a day where she’ll ever stop being in love with the man in front of her. She holds the hand that’s resting on her cheek and kisses it softly. “I really love you too,”

She leans forward and gives him a kiss or two. They both smile widely at each other, radiating the same amount of love, if not more, that they have for each other. Rosie squeals and claps her chubby hands together as she watches the sweet exchange between her parents. They both laugh at her cuteness. “And we love you too, my little love!” Y/N exclaims to her as she cups her cheeks and plants many kisses all over her face, making Rosie squeal in delight. Harry laughs and smiles at the sight. 

Life certainly feels good to him. Surrounded by the loves of his life, there’s no place or moment Harry would exchange this beautiful day with them. 

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #parkersroses writing #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #dad!harry styles #husband!harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles oneshot

[angryinternetduck]

yellow & blue

[not my pic] Hello and welcome to 2.7k words of pure angst! This doesn’t really have a purpose lol but it’s sad and angsty and features 2020 Brits Harry so why not!!! Have some depressed Harry, angelic reader, and yellow suits. Featuring Harry Styles x famous!reader. Inspired by Woman by Harry Styles, It Isn’t Right by the Platters, and When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars (which should give you an idea of just how angsty this is lmao).

The first time he met you, Harry was wearing a yellow suit. The first thing you said to him was a compliment about it. That suit sparked a conversation, and that conversation sparked an interest, and that interest sparked the best two years of Harry’s life.

If Harry said he hadn’t thought about that suit while preparing for the 2020 Brits, he’d be lying.

The chatter of the table he’s at isn’t boring by any means, but it’s not anywhere near captivating enough to keep Harry’s attention on the conversation and off of you. He heard about your new boyfriend, of course - who hasn’t - but this is your first public appearance together and Harry is having just a little bit of trouble breathing.

It’s been four months. Four months since you broke up, three since the news went public.

As far as the public knew, the separation was mutual. As a brand new artist, you needed to take a second to find yourself as a person. As Harry Styles, the man the myth the legend, Harry needed to focus on his next album and possible future acting career. He also supported you in your decision, and knew that the two of you would, of course, remain the best of friends.

Most of that’s true. You only just released your second album - which is doing spectacularly, of course - and Harry really does need to get this next album done. But it wasn’t mutual. Harry doesn’t think any of his break ups have been truly mutual. You broke up with him. There isn’t really any getting around it. Not that the public has to know.

The problem is that Harry understands why you broke up with him. As heartbreaking as it is, he realizes what he did. He knows that he wasn’t a good boyfriend. He doesn’t really have an excuse, either; he can explain away his faults all he wants, but at the end of the day, you’re just too good for him.

Which makes it all the more depressing to watch you positively glow without him.

Part of him wants to go over and beg for your forgiveness. He wants to walk over and get on his knees and say, I love you with all my heart and I’ll never make another mistake again and I’ll love you forever and ever, please, please take me back, I’ll do anything.

Another part of him loves you too much to do that. Maybe you’re meant to be with this new guy. Maybe he’s your one, your only, the one worthy of all your love and attention. Maybe he’ll make you happy in ways Harry never did.

Because really, all Harry wants is for you to be happy. He wants you to glow like this all the time, to forget the feeling of sadness, to never cry a single tear again. He wants the only pain you ever feel to be an ache in your cheeks from all your smiling.

He just wishes he could be the one putting that smile on your face.

One thing he’s noticed is that your happiness seems to coincide directly with his. Whenever you’re happy, he’s happy. Not at the moment, actually, because you seem happy as a clam and Harry feels like his chest is caving in on itself, but whenever Harry thinks “happiness,” he thinks of moments with you. Of moments when you were happy. Moments when you were happy because of him, with him, for him.

He surprised you with a picnic one year for your birthday. He went all out, spreading a blanket down and everything, and the two of you drank wine, ate sandwiches and snacks out of a picnic basket, and talked in Harry’s back yard until after the sun came up.

Whenever Harry thinks “happiness,” that is the moment that pops into his head.

It wasn’t a loud sort of happiness, either. It wasn’t a bouncing on top of the world, adrenaline rushing through his blood, head pounding with excitement and joy and energy sort of happiness. He wasn’t breathless or wide eyed or buzzing with emotion.

No, this was a quiet happiness. It was the very definition of content. It was your head on his shoulder, your hand intertwined with his, your whispers of, “I love you,” the soft kisses exchanged as the sun set and the stars began to twinkle into the sky. It was your giggles at his jokes, your eyes brighter than the moon, softer than the wispy clouds suspended in air.

Harry’s getting a hollow ache in his chest just thinking about it. It hurts, really, because each of those memories, those days, those nights, carved a little hole in him and filled him with love and adoration and the purest happiness anyone’s ever experienced in the history of the world.

Now that you’re gone, that happiness has disappeared and all that’s left is a hollow, empty pit.

Since you’ve been gone, other memories have started creeping out of the shadows. These are different memories, memories of Harry’s failure and your disappointment and nights spent apart and tears sliding down your cheeks.

The problem with these memories is that it’s not a specific memory. It’s not one singular memory that Harry can turn over and over in his head and decide what went wrong. It’s not one thing that Harry can think about and solidify and apologize for.

It’s a whole bunch of things. It’s all the nights spent at the studio instead of with you. It’s all the last minute anniversary gifts and half hearted, distracted dinners, and all the forgetting of events and details. It’s the gradual falling away of random weeknight flowers, it’s the slow decline of hidden poems around the house he set out for you to find.

Well, maybe there is one thing. It might have been that one date night he cancelled. It was at the very end, during the knowing glances after frequent fights, after the slow, painful descent into acceptance but before the official conversation.

Dancing with the Stars had come on TV one night.

“Hey, I’m a star,” you murmured to him, curled up against him on the couch.

“Got that right,” Harry hummed, and you smiled up at him, and that smile made this night one of the good memories. “It should be just us two,” you told him, watching the pairs made up of one professional dancer and one celebrity dance on screen. “No professional.”

You giggled. “Yeah, we’re too good for them anyway.”

You took to dancing around the house after that night. Your dancing always brought a smile to Harry’s face. Funny how all you had to do was twirl, laugh, smile, breathe, and Harry would want to smother you in kisses and gift you his entire heart.

Sometimes you managed to rope him into it. Often you wouldn’t. Often, Harry would wake up to soft music playing in the kitchen, and he would walk in and see you dancing. He’d sip his coffee, and you would spin around and make up fancy footwork, and Harry would grin and blow you kisses and whisper, “I love you.”

He offered to take you dancing one night. He lay next to you in bed and traced his fingertips over your cheeks, lips, nose, and told you all about the night the two of you would have. He talked about live music and warm food and twinkling stars and dancing. You closed your eyes and smiled and hummed one of his songs, and Harry kissed you.

Then he got busy at the studio on the night you decided on. He stayed long. He called you. You didn’t pick up, because you were in the shower, getting ready for you big night. And you didn’t see the voicemail until after you were ready, until after you were sitting on the couch waiting for him, and when you saw the voicemail you jumped up because you didn’t look at the time it was sent, and you thought the voicemail was him calling because he was outside to pick you up.

You weren’t crying when he arrived at home. You just had a quiet sort of disappointment in your eyes, one that was almost more painful than tears, because this look told Harry that some part of you expected this. Harry didn’t look particularly guilty because he hadn’t realized how excited you were. He thought you probably didn’t even get ready. He thought you’d say, “Aw, well,” and move on.

He didn’t think he’d find you on the sofa, dressed in the most beautiful summer dress he’d ever seen, looking like an angel with a broken wing. He never dreamed you’d be so upset, never dreamed he’d be the reason for you being so upset.

That was the night he realized he was nothing but a mortal man in the presence of an angel.

An actual, real live angel.

An actual, real live angel who was losing her glow because of him.

Harry takes a miserable sip of his drink and tries to involve himself in the conversation happening around him. It doesn’t work. The noise level in the room is almost headache inducing, but somehow Harry can still pick out your laugh through the chatter.

He thinks, for a moment, that he’d like a shot of that laughter. He’d like to bathe in your happiness just once more. Maybe that’s all the closure he needs. A gasp of fresh air after what seems like eons of suffocating loneliness.

Then Harry thinks he sounds pathetic even in his own head and he excuses himself from his table. He walks almost blindly through the halls without even a semblance of an idea as to where he’s going. It’s quiet out here, at least, and he can clear his head, and take a breath, and maybe -

"Hey.”

Harry freezes.

For a moment, he thinks he’s imagining things. Then he turns around, and as it happens, he’s not.

There you are, in all your glory, a hesitant smile on your lips. You’re wearing a lavender dress. It fits you perfectly, makes you look like you’re floating off the ground, and Harry wants to cry because it matches his bow perfectly and that wasn’t even planned and goddammit, universe, that’s just salt in a gaping wound.

“Nice suit,” you say, and now your smile looks more sad than hesitant, and Harry feels the tears building in his throat because you remember too, of course you do, and Harry opens his mouth to reply but he can’t get his words out and now he’s on the verge of tears not only because he’s sad but also because he’s embarrassed.

“Thanks,” Harry finally chokes out.

“You’re welcome.”

The corridor suddenly feels long and empty and silent.

“Heard Feather on the radio the other day,” you say.

Feather. One word, a million memories shifting through Harry’s head faster than lightning.

A gifted necklace, filled notebooks, picked out notes, hummed melodies. Murmured lyrics in ears in early mornings. Night after night in the studio, together. Rubbish takeaway food, in the studio, together. Laughter over everything and nothing. Falling over each other in the booth, soft sighs and blissful gasps replacing giggles and shrieks of amusement. Late, late nights, together. Hearing it on the radio for the first time, together, almost driving off the road because of the excitement.

Hearing it on the radio last time, alone, almost driving off the road because of the stab of grief.

Harry’s not sure what to say to that. What do you expect him to? Oh, great, me too, fantastic song, innit? So he pauses for a moment and then replies, “We should make a sequel.” That gets a laugh out of you, and the thought strikes Harry to bottle it up and wear it in a little bottle around his neck.

“That would be something, huh?” you say.

“Call me,” Harry says. “I’ll book a studio.”

You smile. “Yeah, sure.”

“Don’t forget,” Harry tells you.

“I won’t,” you say, and there’s a beat of silence. Your smile fades as you look at him, as he looks at you, and Harry looks away because your smile’s about to disappear completely and Harry doesn’t think he could stand being the cause of your smile disappearing one more time.

You clear your throat. “Alright, well… Expect that call.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll see you around, H,” you say.

“See ya.”

You turn around and walk away. Float away. Fly away.

Again.

Flight, Harry thinks, watching you go. That’s what the sequel would be called. Feather. Flight.

You wore a white dress the first time the two of you performed it live. It’s such a love song. It’s the sappiest shit ever written by anyone in the entire world. If anyone else had written it, Harry would’ve rolled his eyes and said, Bullshit.

But it wasn’t. The song wasn’t, the love wasn’t, nothing was. It was the complete opposite. As pure and true as love could possibly be. Which makes it all the more painful that Harry couldn’t keep his shit together enough for you.

That’s another one of the Happy Memories: that first time performing together. You in your white dress, Harry in a silver, shimmering suit. The two of you did a whole choreography; you messed up every other move and Harry tripped over his own feet quite a few times, but the effort was there. The combination of the overwhelming yet familiar excitement of being on stage and the otherworldly bliss of simply being in your presence is a feeling Harry will never forget.

The air in the hallway grows heavier and heavier with each passing second.

Harry should get back to his table.

He starts to walk. He peers up at the ceiling as he does, hands locked behind his back, deep in thought. People are cheering out in the main room. Harry listens to the noise and closes his eyes, trying to shut his brain off.

The fans, he remembers, were devastated upon hearing the news of your breakup. It was kept quiet long enough that the questions and concerns weren’t particularly invasive, but it still hurt. It hurt like hell. It was ripping off the bandaid of the first month and poking and prying at the wound until Harry cried onstage and ducked out of an interview and missed a show.

Feather was taken off the setlist.

Once, during a lull in a show, the audience began to sing it. That was kind of strange. Harry looked up at the bright lights and swaying figures and heard his song, your song, being sung back to him by hundreds of strangers. It occurred to him, then, that it was not, in reality, your song. By that point, it meant something to other people as well.

That was very strange.

Harry ended up strumming out the chords for them. He smiled when the audience grew louder.

He heard later that the exact same thing happened to you. It was a few nights later, maybe the next week, and there were some technical issues. In the quiet, the fans began to sing Feather. You joined in just a second later, adding in your bit of the choreography.

Harry tried his hardest not to watch the footage, he really did, but he couldn’t help it.

He cried a lot that night.

When he finally makes it back to the main room, you’re situated under your new boyfriend’s arm, smiling brilliantly. Harry looks away as he sits down and downs the last of his drink. He grins at whoever’s talking at his table and shuts off his brain.

At the end of the night, through an alcohol- and exhaustion-muddled haze, Harry spots you by the door. He sweeps you up and plants a big messy kiss on your cheek, which you return with giggles and a kiss of your own. Harry leaves the 2020 Brits with two lipstick prints on him.

Despite the pictures splattered everywhere the next morning, Harry feels an air of contentment.

It’s done, he thinks, taking a deep breath. It’s done, and that’s good.

Because really, nothing gold can stay.

Not even the gold of a yellow suit.

***

ummm... yeah lol. hope u liked it...? lskdjf anyway there's that.

thx for reading! a reblog and some feedback would be fantastique!!!!

masterlist | ask

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles

[thatharringrovehoe]

This whole Mob AU has it's hooks in me ya'll so here you go.

Criminal King Steve courting his Queen.

- It happens like this. Steve has always been spoiled. Has the whole "I want it, I got it" mentality. And that's applied to lovers to. He lost his virginity at the age of fifteen to Amanda Grady behind the hardware store. But Anthony Mueller was his first kiss at eleven years old. You see the WHOLE TOWN knows not too fuck with Steve Harrington. It's not that he'll kick your ass, cuz he won't. Has never laid a hand on another soul. But Kings usually don't. They have grunts for that. And since the age of seven Tommy has been laying kids out for King Steve AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT. Cuz of course Mr. Harrington appreciated someone taking care of Steve. Meant he didn't have to. So Tommy never gets detention EVER. And while he doesn't go parading his boyfriends around (he's not stupid), no one ever gives him shit for it when he has a "friend" sleep over on a Wednesday night at the age of seventeen and comes to school covered in hickies the following Thursday morning.

- So when Billy beats Steve's keg stand record at Tina's Halloween party and comes vaulting his drunk ass over that damn couch to stare Steve down, Steve is fucking living. This boy is a hurricane trapped inside the most gorgeous body he's ever scene and he wants. And King Steve always gets what he wants. Gives a lazy smile and gets up really close to Billy. "I'm impressed Heartbreaker. Must not have much of a gag reflex huh?"

- And Billy is not ready for this sober let alone post keg stand. Cuz his dad moved them cross country to scare the "queer" out of him and this boy is so so pretty. He should take a step back. Regroup. Push him away. But he doesn't.

- King Steve takes him back to his lonely castle and ruins him. Spreads him out on silk sheets in a four poster bed like he's something precious. Something adored. Something worth the trouble and the time. Goes home in the morning sore enough that he's walkin a little funny but in all the best ways.

- After that though? Billy notices things get a little strange. Because when he first got here all the girls lined up just to stare as he got out of his car. Now? Now they wave at him. Like they've been friends for years. And what the hell? He's blatantly late for class and doesn't get a tardy slip. At lunch after all of the chocolate muffins are gone the lunch lady somehow procures one with frosting on it for Billy free of charge. It has him on edge. He knows good things are never free and it seems he's running quite the tab. Makes him antsy, waiting for the catch. But when Steve waves him over to eat lunch with his advisors and generals he relaxes a little. Cuz maybe that's just what it means to have friends in high places.

- Not only that but his dad isn't even suspicious. Has absolutely nothing to say about the new boy he's been hanging with. Doesn't even know he exists which. Weird. Because his dad has always been the type to ask around about his son. Makes sure Billy and his sick twisted desires don't come back to embarrass Neil. But he's not gunna look a gift horse in the mouth.

- And Steve keeps giving him things. The new Metallica album a week before it's out (how in the fuck...?), a black leather jacket that's buttery soft to the touch, even gives him a new earing. A dangling cross with a diamond in the center. And Billy knows he looks good okay? Is confident in his skills in bed. So initially he's sure that's why Steve treats him like this. Cuz they've fallen into bed together almost every other day since Tina's party and it's good. Fucking fantastic sex alright? Billy's never had anyone as good as Steve Harrington. So if the king wants to throw pretty baubles at him then so be it. It's not like it's a struggle or anything.

-But then Billy gets sick. Like he's not dying (he would very much argue this) but it's a bad flu bug. High fever, aches and pains the whole bit. Billy doesn't get out of bed for two days. It's so bad even his dad lays off to an extent. So when the doorbell rings Max has to get it even though technically Billy is babysitting while Susan and Neil are out for date night. And there stands Steve Harrington with an easy smile and a plastic bag full of cold medicine and homemade soup.

- And Max is low key freaking the FUCK out because her friends at school told her all about king Steve. Mike's sister is his best friend so he actually sees the kids quite often. And while Mike isn't his biggest fan he still concedes he's a pretty nice guy whenever it comes to them. Brings them the GOOD sugary snacks and a pizza whenever he stops by during their DnD campaigns. But she also knows he's probably the most powerful person in town. Has got Will's older brother on his payroll. Has somehow heard about Billy being sick when she hasn't told anyone. So she's wary when he asks to come in and see Billy. Cuz even if he's an asshole he's her brother and if this guy is here to fuck with him then she's gunna stage a coupe.

- But Steve just smiles big and sheepish. Tells her he was worried when Billy didn't show up to school. Wanted to know if he was okay. Made soup and everything. So she lets him in and directs him to the door down the hall on the left where Billy is working through a fever of 101.2. Tells him she loves her brother very much. That she'll be in the next room over. Then turns around and runs to her room, her red hair a battle flag in the wind. Steve likes her instantly.

- Billy was super out of it the whole time but he's pretty sure Steve Harrington stopped by and fed him soup. Gave him expensive cold medicine that knocked him the fuck out and read to him when he wavered in and out of consciousness. And that.. That's dangerous. Because Billy knows that's not something you do for just anyone no matter how good of a fuck they are. That's something you do for someone you have feelings for. And Billy can't have that. That's not how his life works. He doesn't get to keep someone like Steve. But when Billy goes back to school Steve is there waiting by his locker with a smile and a coffee made just the way Billy likes it. Feels his heart flutter like the traitorous little mother fucker it is. And falls in love with Steve Harrington right there five minutes before English on a Monday morning.

#Mob AU #Harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #billy hargrove/steve harrington #Mad Max #maxine mayfield #I'm in love with this you guys prepare for more. #stranger things

[braunbakery]

meet me at our spot (2)

☞ eren jaeger x reader [fem bodied] [chapter word count: 2k]

☞ sfw, fluff, mild angst, modern au, short fic, other characters present

fic plot: before high school, you and eren were best friends. after high school, you and eren are strangers still grasping at those same past threads.

inspired by meet me at our spot by the anxiety

prev. next

2. something’s got ahold of me

a once-off conversation is just that - once-off. so you try to convince yourself there’s no point in dwelling on seeing eren yesterday, or dwelling on how he helped you sit back up, or how he smiled at you before he left. there’s no point. it was just a coincidence, a fluke.

eren has an entire group of friends. armin and mikasa, who you’ve shared a couple classes with and known since they were young. jean kirstein, who’s guts eren swore he hated back in the first couple days of freshman year. connie and sasha, who you know of course because of the commotion that always seems to follow them. he sees them everyday, and he only said he’d see you around as a courtesy.

you repeat this as a mantra over and over in your head, trying to distract yourself from looking up every few seconds the wind causes the leaves outside the treehouse to rustle and the small voice in your head that hopes it’s eren.

you sit cross-legged on the floorboards, pulling out more weird trinkets and drawings from years ago and placing them in a plastic bag to the side. now you know there’s not really any chance of being interrupted by eren again, of being rendered speechless when you’re just trying to get your shit and go (so why does your chest keep sinking whenever you swear that you can hear someone come up the ladder only to be met with an empty doorway?)

at some point you start to get sick of yourself, keeping your head focused on the box in your lap and shoving whatever even seems remotely yours into the plastic bag. so when you hear what distantly sounds like footsteps again, you don’t look up.

“hey,” a voice speaks, and your head lurches up from your hunched over position. it’s eren, hand on the frame of the doorway and peering into the wooden room.

“hi,” you practically squeak out. eren steps in.

“you back again?”

“yeah,” you say, “i still have…some stuff.”

you wonder if knows that’s as soon as he left yesterday you got out of here.

eren leans down and picks up the photo album from yesterday off of the floor, “you want this?”

“oh, you can keep it if you want.”

eren walks closer to you and sits down next to you. he doesn’t seem to notice you watching him carefully, “nah, i remember it was your idea, right?”

“yeah,” you hesitantly confirm, “but theyre our photographs.”

you notice eren freeze and you regret saying that because now he’s looking at you in a way…in a way that makes you feel like he only ever looks at you like that.

“this is one weird custody battle,” eren jokes before putting the photo album back down and grabbing the box in your lap.

“hey!” you exclaim, shoving his arm, “i was literally looking through that.”

“yeah,” eren offers you a shit-eating grin, “and now i am.”

“how are you still so annoying?”

“and how are you still so easy to annoy?” eren moves his face closer to yours.

you feel blood rush to your face and mumble sheepishly, “shut up.”

and with that, eren seems satisfied enough to let you balance the box halfway on his lap and the other half on yours, both of you rummaging through clutter silently as an excuse to sit for a little longer.

you hear an engine rev after eren does and only when you look at him do you realise hes stood up and is practically hanging out of the treehouse in an attempt to peer down at his drive way.

“oh,” he says, and you wonder if it’s more so to himself than to you, “it’s reiner.” it seems dumb, but you only realise he’s speaking to you when he turns back to you like he’s waiting for a response. you’re not really used to all this talking with him. like…talking personally to you and not the you that walks past him every once in a while.

“right.”

“him and a few of the others are coming over to hangout.”

“right,” you start anticipating him bidding you goodbye and climbing back down the ladder, but the goodbye never comes and he still stands over you like he’s deep in thought.

“do you…wanna come?” eren sounds out, like he’s testing out how the syllables feel on his lips.

“…what?” what the hell is he talking about?

“to hang out,” eren says carefully, eyes flicking back and forth between yours, “with us.” he adds.

with eren’s friends? you don’t want to be possessive or weirdly resentful but the first thought you have is that he’s inviting you to sit with the people that he prefers. you have to mentally slap yourself to remember that drifting away is normal, and they’re all probably really nice. and it was four fucking years ago. and you don’t stay friends with the people you knew when you were 8.

“oh…are you sure?” you ask. eren shifts from one foot to the other before taking another step towards you. the box in your lap feels like it’s slipping from your grasp.

“yeah, why not?” he says, and he must notice how he doesn’t sound very convinced of himself either when he watches your eyes droop because he’s quickly interjecting before you can say anything back, “it’ll be fun. come on.”

his hand extends out to you. you want to slap his hand away and tease him, say you don’t need his help, that you’re not an old lady, but your palm is already meeting his and you can already feel calloused fingers over your skin and him pulling you up to stand in front of him.

the short journey between the treehouse to eren’s kitchen is a blur, and saying hi to reiner and who he brought with him (bertolt, you think. as well as connie and jean) is even blurrier, because all of a sudden you find yourself seated on one of the stools in eren’s kitchen and absentmindedly listening to whatever the hell they’re talking about.

you appreciate how eren spares you a glance every once in a while, offering you a close mouthed smile like you haven’t not been in this house since you were 14.

“hey, eren,” reiners voice bellows from the front of the house and you hear him unlock the front door. the look you and eren are sharing is cut short by reiner, “armin, mikasa and sasha are here.”

“‘kay,” eren responds even though the three new visitors are already waltzing into the living room. you’re still frozen in place. you don’t even remember the last thing you said.

“guys, this is my - sasha get out of the fridge - my neigh–” eren tries to start, but sasha is suddenly barreling towards your seat at the kitchen island.

“hi! you’re in my bio class, right?!” sasha excitedly asks you, practically jumping on the spot.

“you mean she was, sasha. we’re not in high school anymore,” connie calls out from behind her. sasha rolls her eyes.

“it’s so nice to see you!”

“thanks…it’s nice to see you too.”

“you’re scaring the girl, sasha,” jean comments before deciding to grab something from the fridge himself. sasha immediately follows after him. you lock eyes with eren again and you realise he had already been watching you.

“hi,” a soft voice greets you, and suddenly mikasa is standing by your seat, “nice to see you again.”

“yeah, it’s been forever,” armin adds from beside her.

“you guys know each other too?” reiner asks from across the room, leaning on one of the kitchen counters next to eren.

“from when we were kids,” you say, flitting your eyes to eren only to find that he’s looking at you again. you want him to stop so you don’t have to focus so hard on speaking anymore, but you want him to keep doing it because it’s nice to know that he’s still knows you’re here. which sounds pathetic but, eren’s got such a big group of friends that sometimes you think it was kind of inevitable that he slowly drifted away from you.

“we all kinda knew each other before high school, reiner,” armin explains, sparing you another smile.

“you and bertolt literally transferred in halfway through freshman year, how do you not know this?” jean calls over to reiner.

“just slipped my mind i guess.”

“he was too busy trying not to be mistaken for a senior,” connie jokes. the room laughs. you try to.

“don’t you mean a security guard?” jean adds. everyone laughs again. you didn’t really spend that much time looking at the two boys when they had transferred, so the joke is kind of lost on you, but you smile along anyways.

“ha-ha, very funny,” reiner sarcastically retorts, “don’t know why you’re laughing, bertolt. think someone mistook you for someone’s dad once.” another eruption of laughter.

you really don’t wanna start feeling out of place (well, more out of place than you did before) but when everyone starts shooting jokes and comments across the room at each other, it gets harder and harder to stretch out a smile over your face at each one. and it gets harder and harder to look up and eren, to watch him laugh along with everyone or have him lock eyes with you again, until you’re all together just staring at your lap.

you think…you think it’s time for you to go.

eren stands at the corner of his kitchen, still leaning against his counter, so you carefully slip out of the stool and make your way towards him, wanting to try your utmost best to make this exchange as short as possible before you go back home.

“i think i’m gonna go,” you say to him quietly, awkwardly staring anywhere other than his face.

“hm?” eren is cut out of the lively conversation with his friends and is looking back at you, lips parted momentarily as his tries to figure out what you said. he takes a step closer towards you and your heart skips a beat, “wait–“

you cut him off, trying to get out of there before you’re reminded even more of how you just faded away from eren’s life, “thanks for inviting me.”

you quickly whisk yourself away to the front door before eren can say anything more, not trying to deal with any more of what always seems like general politeness to you. just as you’re about to step out of the front door, a hand wraps around your wrist when you let go of the door handle and you turn around to be met with eren behind you, looking just as shocked with himself are you are.

“uh…” eren’s gaze shifts between your eyes repeatedly, “is everything okay?”

you look down at his hand around your wrist and back up at him, “yeah. just tired.” you feel his grip loosen but he still doesn’t let go, and a part of you isn’t ready for him to.

“see you around?” he echoes what seems to be his catchphrase. you nod your head in a way that you know isn’t as enthusiastic as what he might like to see. he’s just being polite. today was another coincidence, another fluke, and he isn’t actually going to want to make any effort to see you again. even if you’re just next door. he hasn’t for the past four years.

“yeah,” you quietly respond, slipping your wrist out of his grasp. you can still faintly hear chatter from inside the house. eren watches as you trod down the front steps to his house and make your way back over to your own, the back of your head never turning even just for a second to look back at him.

eren doesn’t like regrets. he doesn’t like wasting time on them, he doesn’t like how they make him feel like he should be in a rush to do something that he’s not even sure of (that he can’t even take back). but as he watches you leave his house, he thinks that if there’s one thing he’d let himself regret, it’d be not realizing he’d fallen away from you before it was too late.

taglist;

@saramelcky @chawyn @sashabrausbrainrot @xadist @dai-tsukki-desu @papiibuprofen @chiaradhea @unicornlover25 @queen-flower

reply to this post to be added to the taglist!

#aot fic #aot x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk fic #snk x reader #aot #aot sfw #eren fic #eren fluff #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren angst #aot modern au #eren x reader

[baecvlt]

Hello hello! I looove your work! I was wondering if I could requests Kazuichi taking his best friend(or lover! Just thought friend would make it more interesting) on a late night car ride to test some adjustments he made to it, could end up with some steamy car sex? Hopefully this made sense! I've been craving this kind of fic

Car Sex: Kazuichi Soda x Reader

a/n: It’d be an honor to write this. Hope you enjoy! ALso VERY WELL ESTABLISHED FRIENDSHIP HERE + projecting my interests onto reader because I get selfish AND I feel like Kaz listens to rock/alt/indie music. K byeee. ALSO READER IS FEM, pls specify next time

It was a Friday night, you were out for dinner with your best friend, Kazuichi Soda. You were glad to finally get out the house. It got lonely, plus you got to catch up with him and see him personally. He offered to pay for your meal, you allowed it since this time you were tight on money. As he paid, you notice he was excited about something.

“I know this is so last minute,” he began,“But I was wondering if you’d come back to the shop with me”

You nodded, but remained curious. “Of course, I’ll go, but why?”. He leaned toward you and he was excited. His leg was shaking and hands slightly shaking. “I’m finally finished with my car!,” he cheered,“I want you to be the very first to join me for a test drive!”. You smiled. Kazuichi had been working on this car since high school. He almost gave up on it too, so you were happy he never gave up on it. “Of course I’ll go!,” you told him, just as cheerful as he was. You both has walked to the restaurant, now walked back to the shop.

His family was there, closing the shop up. You obviously greeted them. He walked right past them and to the garage. A sheet was on top of the car. Once you were in the room, he walked towards it. He grabbed the sheet, doing a small countdown. “3..2..1-”. He yanked the sheets off, revealing a new and improved car. “So, what do ya think?”. You were excited with him now. “Jesus, the paint job on this is amazing!,” you said to him. “‘May have taken me my whole high school and half my college experience to finish it, but it was worth it!”.

“Totally”

“What do ya say? Should we take it out for a spin”

“You don’t have to ask me twice”

He cheered quietly, opening the passenger door for you and hopping into the driver’s side. He opened the garage door, pulling out of the driveway. He had only driven down the street and you saw how nervous he was. You grabbed his hand, he gasped when you did. “Hey, I’m sure the car is fine, don’t stress out”. He smiled, putting his arm around you. You relaxed laying back. You drove around for about half an hour, going up some hill to a mountain. “Where are we going?,” you asked him.

“We’re gonna look at the stars”

“Ooo, nice”

He parked by the edge of the mountain. It was weird because no other cars were to be seen. Usually there were. “By the way, I wanna show you the coolest thing here,” he said, opening the glove compartment. He took out a CD, Slowdive's 1993 album Souvlaki, and revealed he had a working stereo. "Holy shit, it works?," you were excited. He nodded, popping in the CD. "I love Slowdive," you mumbled. He smiled, chuckling a little.

"I know. You were listening to it the day we met"

"Oh! I was...Yeah, I remember you came up to me that day. You were so awkward"

"Right? God, I feel like I acted like a douche"

"You were like,'Hey, we shouldn't be able to hear your music'"

"Yeah, yeah. Then you were all,'Oh, sorry!'. Then, I was like,'Don't worry, but anyway, Slowdive, huh?'"

You both laughed. "God, I felt that you were trying to hit on me that moment," You told him,"But you're just...you're really nice". Smiling, he shook his head. "Do you miss high school?," he asked. You thought about it for a moment. Did you? "You know what," you began,"Partially". He was confused. "What do you mean?".

"Well, we all had good times in high school. We had good friends, all those memories. We've kinda drifted away, but that's why I partially miss it"

"So why don't you?"

"I felt like I didn't belong"

He looked at you sympathetically. "You all had an established talent. I didn't," you told him,"Sometimes, I still wish I hadn't gone". Hearing you say so saddened him. "But you're good at a lot," he said,"You were better than everyone there". "You're just saying--".

"No! I swear, you are talented at a lot. It was just never put into one thing. You aren't alone either. Hajime never had an exact talent, Nagito won a lottery...you belonged there just as anybody else. You are a Jack of All Trades—"

"—Master of None."

"NO! You are the master of all!"

You smiled. "I care so much about you. I'm really glad we met. I just know that if we hadn't met my life wouldn't be the way it is now...," he said,"So, please, never say that again! You belonged there". You lay back in your seat, trying not to cry. For the first time in forever you felt like you had a place in the world, it felt weird, but not bad. You weren't used to feeling important. "Are you even happy with your life?". He looked at his thumbs when you asked him that. You were afraid of his answer, you didn't know why, but you were.

"There are somethings I wish I didn't have to deal with, but when I think about you, I realize that it's all worth dealing with...and that makes me the happiest man in the world"

"Kaz..."

He said your name, his voice low when he did. It interrupted anything you wanted to say next and your thoughts were racing. "I..I—". He sighed. You knew whatever he had to say next was not easy for him to spit out. "You know how important this car is was for me, it took up my entire high school year to work on. I know I had fun doing it, but I didn’t build it for me,” he sputtered and you could tell he was nervous,“I made this car so that...so that I'd have something to impress you with the day I had the courage to tell you how I really feel about you. I love you and I have for so long. I don't see myself being with anyone else and I wanted you to think of me as the coolest guy you'd ever met and now you probably think I'm a chump–"

You launched yourself towards him, attacking his lips and you felt his skin radiating. He felt as if he had been kissed by an angel. "I love you too, Kaz," you whispered. You really did. Crawling onto his lap, you pushed his hair back. "I wish it hadn't taken you so long to tell me," you added, frowning,"We could have done all these cute high school couple things, then moved onto adult couple things". He kissed you this time, his hands on your hips as you nibbled his bottom lip. He managed to move you both to the passenger side in order to prevent your back setting the horn off. He stopped for a minute.

"'Adult couple things'?"

"Yeah"

"Well, we're adults now, aren't we? And who says we're too old to do what high schoolers do"

"You're not wrong either...but are you interested in doing adult things with me?"

He blushed and looked away for a minute,"I, uh- I've never done it before. I was waiting do it with someone who loves me, y'know? But- you love me, right?". You laughed, nodding. He laughed too, shaking his head as he reached up your skirt, his calloused and rough hands rubbing your thighs. "Hoh-okay, you asked for it". He leaned forwards to kiss you, grabbing the waistband of your panties as his tongue entered your mouth. He pulled them down, allowing you to remove the rest by making his seat go further back. You kicked them off, going to unzip his jeans and pull those down too along with his boxers. He was already rock hard and made you throb just looking as his cock. It was slightly above average in both length and girth, but what did you expect from a dork like him?

You took off your entire skirt before climbing right back into his lap right after pulling them down, he smirked and lowly praised you: "Good girl". He kissed you a little more before he grabbed his cock, ready to guide it inside you. "You ready?". You were shaking, but uttered a soft,"Yes...". Before he could, the Slowdive song you were listening to when you first met started playing and you knew this was meant to happen. You melted when he heard it too. It means it meant something to him and it meant as much to him as it meant to you. "You remember this song, baby?". He pressed light kisses on your forehead as you nodded. You felt his tip at your entrance and you whined. "W-Wait! Kaz, please be careful," you begged. He nodded and kissed you again. "I'll be soft," he reassured you,"Besides, I want to take my time with you. Okay?". You took a breath and relaxed.

"Okay"

"Uh, wait- I should probably ask. Did you wanna do this laying down? I don't think it's fair if you're on top during our first. Plus, I don't want your back to hurt"

"Y-Yeah, my back was starting to ache a little"

He nodded, putting the seat all the way back, now mimicking a bed. You switched positions, spreading your legs for him. He put the volume on the stereo almost all the way up before picking your legs up. He positioned himself again, pushing in just the tip. You gasped quietly, breaking into a very sweet moan as he pushed in all the way, groaning lustfully. He repeatedly pushed in: deep, but slow. He only felt his erection grow harder seeing you blush. Your little moans and soft whimpers when he'd hit that one spot you thought only you would be able to reach made him twitch inside you. He tried to keep his composure, but your walls constantly pumping him made it almost impossible. He leaned forward, desperately trying to kiss you. You could've melted right then and there, seeing how this man made love to you. "I-I love you..," he whispered against your lips. God, he was so cute too.

"I love you too, Kaz, but this is a little too slow now"

"Please, tell me what you need"

"I want you fuck me harder"

"Whatever you say, princess"

His thrusts went from "slow and deep" to "abrupt and very deep". "Like that?". You kissed him in response, grabbing his hair and pushing his head to you. His hips snapped inside you, making it harder to control your breathing. At this point, the windows as fogged up, making the air around you hot. He grabbed your breast, massaging them. You did him the favor of unbuttoning your blouse. You grabbing his hand and slipped it under your bra. "They're so pretty and warm," he mumbled. You could tell he didn't want you to hear that from how low he said it, but you heard it well. He pulled your bra down to your torso, ducking his head down to be able to suck on your breasts a little. "K-Kaz! I'm really sensitive there!". He didn't respond, so entertained by your boobs, knowing playing with them made you feel good.

Your stomach was in knots and it was hard to hold anything anymore.

It took one really hard thrust, making you squirt. He didn't even know it could do that. You didn't cum all the way through, making it uncomfortable now. You felt like you were being edged. "Kaz, it doesn't feel good anymore".

"Do we stop?"

"No, no! Just...I need to cum"

"I'll get you there"

His hands went back to your hips, slamming into you fast and deep. Your body trembled, shaking as he hit your sweet spot again and again and again. "Is this okay?," his voice husky as he was nearing his orgasm too. You nodded, whining. "I-It feel so good..please don't stop," you cried,"It's so good!..". He went faster, grunting softly. You were near crying, about to release. "Are you gonna cum?". He was just as impatient as you were.

"I'm cumming, I-I'm cumming"

"I can't last anymore. C-Can I cum inside?"

"Please, baby"

He groaned you name, shooting his load in you. You knew it was a lot too, feeling it when you moved. He pulled out, laying on the other seat lazily. You were still so turned on, pumping your two fingers in and out of you, securing his cum inside you. "Good girl". You picked your braw up to cover your chest since it was getting cold. "You look so pretty," he added. You were blushing as he helped you with your clothes. Naturally, you helped him with his. "I hope this is a good time to ask, but...". "Yes?"

"I want you to be my girlfriend"

"I'm so glad you do. Yes, Kazuichi, I'll be your girlfriend!"

"Yes! Fuck Yes! Oh god, I'm so happy!"

You kissed his cheek, making him become even more giddy as he wrapped his arm around you and drove you to his home. Kissing on his bed, he hugged you tightly afterward as you shushed him to sleep.

#danganronpa #kazuichi danganronpa #kazuichi soda #kazuichi souda #kazuichi soda x reader #kazuichi souda x reader #kazuichi soda smut #kazuichi souda smut #kazuichi smut #smut #x reader

[btsxmalereaders]

☆ Even in zero gravity, I would still fall for you!

♡ pairing — bang chan x male reader

> genre — fluff | f2l

> word count — 4.3k I don't know how this happened

> summary — chan realises he likes you by not being able to use pickup lines on you

> a/n — i saw a tiktok where chan says he's gonna use a pickup line on felix and my love-deprived self ended up writing this lol i hope you all like it

| 05282021

| Please keep making more whosfan accounts and keep streaming WOLFGANG on the correct platforms!

"Hey, how you doin'?" Chan casually says as he enters the kitchen, trying not to grin and start giggling right away. He even places his hands over the table and tilts his head a little in an attempt to look confident. Felix takes his attention away from the food he is cooking and turns on his feet to look at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Good?" He answers with an air of suspicion. "Why?"

Chan finally lets out a small giggle, "Oh nothing, I was just thinking that... I am not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together."

And Felix thinks it's a creative pickup line, funny even, but what ends up making him laugh is the way his best friend bends over to start laughing louder and the way his cheeks turn reddish at the embarrassment he's probably feeling.

"That was a good one, I must say," He chuckles. "Not as great as the Optimus Fine one, though. Even if it made you laugh for ten minutes after you said it."

And Chan can only laugh harder at the remembrance, placing his hands over his slightly aching abdomen and gasp for air when he can't handle it anymore. Felix giggles as well and denies with his head, going back to stir what's on the pot.

"Stays keep getting creative when it comes to flirting with you," He speaks again as the laughter finally dies down. "They probably think you might use it on someone you like, and you're here almost crying because you use them on us."

Chan hums, "Well, I don't really like anyone right now."

Felix turns off the stove and makes a -dramatic- pause, turning again to face Chan as he gets closer and squints his eyes. "I don't believe it."

"What?" Chan laughs. "Why would I lie?"

"I don't know, but I don't buy it. Maybe it's the love songs you have as drafts in your laptop."

"Ah, that doesn't mean I'm in love," He explains and takes a seat in front of him, nervously scratching the back of his neck. "That's why they're still drafts, though. They don't convey the feeling of being in love because I am not in love, you know?"

"Good point, but it still doesn't convince me."

"Why?" He asks again with a chuckle, a little embarrassed by the sudden interest in his - nonexistent - love life. "You know our activities barely give us time for ourselves, so it's almost impossible to have a relationship with someone. At least a formal one."

"You can still like someone and not be with them." Felix shrugs. "So spill it. Who is it?"

And Chan knows he's just messing around with him, but he can't help but feel flustered. "No one! I think so." He almost says it in a whisper; however, Felix doesn't comment on it.

"I still want to listen to those drafts," He stands up and smiles. "Why don't you show me?"

This was not the way Chan expected the conversation to go, so he hesitates a bit about his friend's request. Well, it wasn't unusual anyway, at least Changbin had heard a couple and also helped in the composition of the songs, so having someone else hear them wouldn't hurt. He might even listen to ideas on his part to improve them.

"Okay, I can do that. Next week Y/N will come to the studio and work on something, why don't you pop-up at some point and I can show you?"

Felix nods, "Sounds good! Y/N asked for help for his new album?"

"Yeah, he wants me to listen to some tracks he has been working on." He casually comments, taking his phone from his pocket and leading his attention to the device, so now Felix can't see the slight blush on his cheeks.

"Hm, I haven't seen him in a while. Why hasn't he come to the dorm lately? We should invite him."

"He has been busy with his album, that's why. If you think I leave late from the studio, that's nothing compared to him, he truly spends an ungodly amount of time there."

"So you see him often?" Felix asks with sudden interest, now being aware of how Chan's ears are tinted pink.

"You could say that, yeah. He also spends time on my studio whenever he has the chance. And vice-versa." He shrugs, not finding it odd. You two were really good friends, so it was a normal thing for you to do. "Why?"

"Nothing, I was just curious." He mischievously laughs. "So, next week, you said?"

After a quick glance at the time on your phone, you decide to stand up and stretch your body. It's been a long time since you started working, and you still have a lot to do; and on top of it all, the progress you've made tonight doesn't totally convince you, and that just meant you'd be spending more time in the studio.

As you take your phone again to read your notes, a notification pops up on the top. You weren't supposed to meet up with Chan until later, but in the new message you just received, he tells you that he's free from working on his stuff and you could go earlier if you wanted.

You decide to go; after all, it was nearly impossible for you to concentrate again, and you truly needed to know what does he think about the tracks you sent him a few days ago to finally make an advance. So you grab your laptop after making sure you've saved the changes and the cup of half-drunk coffee, walking out to the long hall and taking the elevator to an upper floor.

The soles of your shoes are dragged across the floor all the way to the studio's door, where you softly knock a couple of times before remembering you already know the password to enter. Your fingers press the buttons, entering code you know by heart at this point, and the door quickly unlocks, making Chan to look your way and greet you with a smile.

"Hey, how have you been?" He sweetly says, seeing you entering the room and placing your belongings on top of the big desk in front of you and taking a seat on the couch behind him.

"Busy. And tired." You murmur and let out a sigh. Chan immediately plays a song at a low volume and takes seat next to you.

"You're still struggling with the track you told me about?"

You nod as an answer and pout, "I am desperate. It's like, no matter how many times I rewrite the lyrics or change the beats, it still doesn't convince me at all and I hate it."

"I get it," He sighs. "But don't worry about it, I'm here to help you out."

And Chan isn't someone who breaks his promises, so the following hours are spent listening to your music, carefully reading everything you've written so far, listening to your ideas and giving you advice.

In between work, he tells you every other joke to make you laugh and feel at least a bit less stressed; and it works wonderfully since he has a long list of dad jokes that take you off guard, plus his laughter is contagious, so not laughing with him is impossible.

It's no surprise that his advice and opinions are so accurate to the point of clearing your mind and helping you out of your creative block. Chan has always been hard-working and so good with words that every time you engage him in conversations, you feel more relaxed and less burdened. No matter what situation you had a problem with, Chan would always help you find the best solution for it. Maybe that's why you admire him so much, maybe it was one of the many reasons why you didn't hesitate for a second to go to him and find security in his presence and words... Maybe it was one of the thousands of reasons why you had romantic feelings towards him...

"Is it better now?" His voice takes you out of your thoughts. He's sweetly smiling at you; he probably realized you got lost on the way his lips were moving as he told you his thoughts on the recent draft of your song.

"Yeah, yes, honestly, you've helped me so much. I don't know what I'd do without you." You smile and go for a quick hug, taking the opportunity to ruffle his hair. Your fingers sliding between his soft and messy curls and making him fondly smile in the process. "You're my hero. I mean it."

Chan chuckles and can't keep his eyes off you as you type something on your laptop and hum. He recalls the conversation he had last week with Felix, and that ambiguous feeling settling on his chest makes him wonder if, after all, his friend was right. He doesn't remember when was the last time he felt the urge to hold someone in between his arms and dearly appreciate, and he wants to know why he smiles and feels his stomach tickling when he sees you.

Maybe it's because you spend a lot of time with him, a voice inside his head says. But he doesn't feel this way with any other friend.

Maybe it's because you have known him for a long time and you just appreciate him a lot, the voice tries again. Maybe. He finally gives in at the last thought. He'd have to figure it out.

His phone buzzes inside the pocket of his jeans and he takes it, knowing for sure it's a message from Felix.

"Felix is arriving in a few minutes." He murmurs, making you take your eyes off the screen. "He wants to listen to some songs I have, is that okay?"

"Of course, it's your studio, silly." You giggle. "I am almost done with this, so if you're gonna be busy I can go back to m-"

"You can stay, if you want to." He quickly adds. "Plus, he says he wants to see you, you know... He misses you." Chan laughs. He wasn't lying, but that wasn't the only reason he wanted you to stay.

"Okay! Sure, I haven't heard from him in a while, either." You nod and keep making changes on the file you have open.

Just as he said, Felix enters the room just a few minutes later, smiling brightly and immediately running to give you a big hug once he sees you.

Soon, the room was filled with laughter and long conversations to catch up on everything around your lives. Felix tells you about the new pastries he baked last week and that he was waiting for you to come around and bake with him, the new video game Jeongin bought and has been playing with Hyunjin, the new songs Changbin and Jisung have been working on and how Seungmin was learning to play piano, playing songs at night for everyone at the dorm.

"And you know? Chan hyung has gotten better at flirting." He laughs as the latter gives him a threatening glare. "He can't stop saying pickup lines whenever he has the chance."

"Ah, really?" You chortle. "You haven't said one in all the time we've been here."

"Well, we've been working, and I've told you many other jokes... Besides, it's not like I come up with them out of nowhere."

"Yes, you do!" Felix says. "You do that all the time, what are you talking about?"

You glance at Chan, who's currently blushing and at the loss of words. Felix, on the other hand, seems to be happy to see what he just provoked. And he'd definitely enjoy every part of it.

"I want to hear one! C'mooon!" You laugh. "Please?"

Chan rolls his eyes and tries to look confident as he would normally do. He clears his throat and thinks of a good pickup line he hasn't used yet.

"Alright," He says and smiles, he even thinks it's gonna start laughing before even opening his mouth, but the very moment he looks into your eyes, it's like he forgot every single word on his vocabulary. "Uhm, are you, no. Did you-? Wait! I forgot what I was gonna say-"

Felix can't help but burst into laughter, and you only look at him, as if you couldn't believe it. Was he nervous or was it because of the fact that Felix was in the same room? Would it have been any different if he weren't there?

You end up laughing at Felix's loud laughter, as well as seeing Chan blushing up to his ears and hiding his face behind his hands, probably also in an attempt to cover the huge grin he now has.

"Wow, that was an epic failure. And I thought you were the biggest flirt on earth." Felix teases him, to which Chan ends up groaning.

He continues talking about other stuff while Chan stops feeling embarrassed, even though he's not able to look in your eyes for the entire time until you have to go back to work.

You close your laptop and stand up, throwing the now empty cup of coffee on the trash bin. After thanking Chan for his help and promising Felix you'd drop by their dorm soon, you walk out of the studio with a smile and feeling your heart beating fast. There was no way you didn't have feelings for him.

"Oh my god, so I was right!" Felix says a few seconds after you left. Chan's first instinct is to cover his face again. "Look who got nervous so suddenly."

"Stop, I- I don't even want to talk about it." He murmurs, feeling flustered and avoiding Felix's gaze. He types something on his laptop and presses the play button, hoping that this way, his friend would forget about what just happened and could focus solely on the music.

And Felix doesn't talk about it anymore. The next few minutes are set by the music coming out of the speakers; the room filling with Chan's voice, singing the love songs that probably no one else would listen to. Felix seems to be concentrating on the lyrics, but Chan's thoughts are solely about you. As he listens to the songs, he is aware of how his skin bristles every time his hands accidentally touch you, the times when your eyes connect with his and you give him smiles every time it happens, all those times when his heart would race when he hugged you.... It's as if all those songs that professed a love he said he didn't feel, started to make sense.

He feels overwhelmed. Maybe if he was aware of it before, maybe if he listened to his heart instead of his head, this wouldn't be a big revelation to him.

Chan pauses the music, and before Felix can ask what's going on, he speaks up: "Why- why did I do that?"

"Did... what, exactly?" Felix asks, confused.

"The pickup line thing!" He blurts out. "I mean, I do that all the time, right? Why did I just forget how to even talk?"

Felix giggles, "Well, have you considered it's because when you use those pickup lines on us you just do it for laughing? To joke around with us, and with Y/N it's because... I don't know, you have feelings for him and it gets real? Like you're flirting with him."

Makes sense, he thinks. He remains in silence for a moment, processing everything that just happened and finally connecting the dots.

"Wait, you just had your epiphany?" Felix jokes. "It took you too, too long."

"I can barely fall asleep, how was I supposed to know I was falling in love?"

"Fair enough." He says, comprehensive. "Are you telling him?"

"Should I?" Chan's eyes sparkle, but he still feels confused. Should he even try? It's been so long since he last felt this way about someone, and given the circumstances of his life as an idol, he felt more reluctant to take the next step. Even more, considering he had just taken the first one by accepting his feelings a few minutes ago.

"I was right all this time by you being in love," He says. "And I am also sure that it's mutual. I've seen you two for a while, you know? I am surprised you didn't come the realization way earlier than this."

Chan giggles. "Alright, I get it."

"But it's up to you now, I guess. All I know is that you deserve to be happy, and you deserve good things... And Y/N is a great person. You should give yourself an opportunity on love."

Chan feels chills as he hears those words. Tonight's even have been too much for him to process, so he'll think deeply about it later.

"Okay," He nods. "Thanks, Lix. You've been really helpful."

"I know, what would you do without me?" Felix laughs. "Now let's keep listening to the songs, I am loving all of them."

Fortunately, the help Chan gave you really made it possible for you to finish the songs in no time. You are just now walking out of a meeting with your managers and the people in charge of the release of the album to set the final details, and you quickly send a message to Chan to let him know the news.

In the meantime, you drop by your studio to clean up a little and maybe write down some ideas for new songs that have been in your mind for a while. After a few minutes, you hear a knock on the door, snapping you out of your thoughts and then feeling confused. You weren't expecting anyone to come. So you slowly open the door, and a smile spreads across your face the moment you realize it's Chan.

"Oh, hi!" You greet him with a hug, immediately letting him in afterwards. He shyly gets inside, taking a seat on a chair and placing a bag on the small table behind him. "What brings you here? I thought you were still busy with you guys upcoming album."

"It's okay, Changbin is working on his stuff now at the studio, so I took the chance to come here and celebrate with you!" He grins. "Congratulations on making your first self-produced album!"

He starts clapping, making you smile; he truly was the sweetest person you've ever met.

As soon as he read your message he went to the nearby cafeteria and bought your favorite drink and pastries, claiming that it was a special occasion and should be celebrated.

"For all your hard work and the success of this album!" He makes a toast as he raises his cup of tea.

Soon you find yourselves immersed in a long conversation about everything that went into creating this album; from when you had the first idea for the concept, to those sleepless nights when he helped you without hesitation. Chan was definitely an essential part of this whole process, so to be celebrating with him right now felt right. It was how it should be.

"You know," Chan clears his throat as another song starts playing. "These past days I've had this thought in my head, and after talking it out with Felix... I am certain about it. And I want to tell you about it. I know I have to."

You frown, feeling curiosity, especially since his semblance has changed to be a bit more serious. He still has a small smile that gives you some kind of tranquility, but another part of you can't help but feel nervous as he gets a little bit closer.

"Of course, what is it?"

"So, uhm" He starts. "Some weeks ago, when Felix came to the studio and we were talking with you... Well, the reason he came was because he wanted to listen to some love songs I've worked on. And, after listening to all of them I figured out why I didn’t like them. I was sure I wasn't in love. That's why, to me, they all sounded plain and didn’t convey the feeling of love... But then..."

He makes a pause, catching his breath as he feels more and more nervous. He knows for sure his ears and cheeks are red right now, and it's impossible that you haven't noticed it. His hands slightly shake behind the table, anxiously looking for yours, but refraining from doing it because he doesn't know how this was going to end. You don't want to interrupt him, so you give him his time to clear his head and talk again.

"While listening to those songs, the only thought I had in mind was you." He finally confesses, with his gaze now fixed on his lap. "I guess that for a while I didn’t realise that I started to, uhm, catch feelings for you. And, it's okay if you don't feel the same way about me. I just really wanted to let you know because the thought has been on my mind for so long and I needed to let it out."

For a moment, the only thing that can be heard in the room is your voice coming from the speakers along with a sigh from Chan, who still didn’t dare to look up and face you.

"So... what you're saying is..." You speak up, feeling incredibly shy, trying to process the words addressed to you.

"What I am trying to say is that I am in love with you."

And you swear you could start screaming to the top of your lungs right now, but you try your very best to stay calm and finally grab Chan's hands. With that, he looks at you again.

"Channie," You softly say, looking at him in his precious eyes and dearly smiling. You don't even know where to begin, but a voice inside you begs for you to give him a hug. So you open your arms and embrace him tightly, feeling instant comfort and love. "I am so glad you feel this way too. I love you too."

Chan sighs in relief, placing his hands on your waist and pulling you closer; his nose pressed against the crook of your neck and closes his eyes, melting between your arms and enjoying every single second of that gesture.

"Wait a minute," You say out of nowhere, so he separates a bit from you and tilts his head. "That's why you couldn't even say a sentence when you tried to say a pickup line?"

You laugh when his expression changes to look ashamed, his lips frowned in a pout and his gaze avoiding your eyes again.

"Try again, I'm sure you're good at this." And Chan's head only comes up with the dozens of lines he has read, but seeing you smiling right in front of him and your arms over his shoulders, he can only think how lucky he is. He can't possibly say anything to you. "Alright, let me try instead."

You hum and recall all the pickup lines you've read and have been told before, "Hm, can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll return it."

And you expected Chan to start laughing out loud, instead he starts blushing again and giggling, covering his face as he feels nervous.

"C'mon! Seriously?" You laugh and wait for him to stop being shy.

"You make me nervous, give me time." He excuses himself and laughs some more. "That was a good one, and you know what? You can borrow all the kisses you want, as long as you keep your word and return them."

"See? That's what I'm talking about!"

Chan fondly smiles at you, placing his hand on your head to pet your hair for a moment. You close your eyes as he does it, feeling his soft touch traveling all the way down to your chin. He rests his thumb on your cheek and after a few seconds you decide to open your eyes.

"Can I?" He murmurs as his gaze shifts from your eyes to your lips.

"You don't even have to ask."

And just as you give him permission, he breaks the distance between you two. He starts carefully, placing his lips against yours in a tender, chaste way, barely there pressure that makes you exhale through your nose as if you had been holding your breath all along. One of his hands still holds you by the waist, so he takes the opportunity to slide it to your lower back, carefully holding you and sending you shivers to your entire body.

You lean forward barely a few millimeters, but it's enough to feel more pressure over your lips. Chan angles his head and traps your bottom lip, tongue trying to dart out of his mouth to taste more of the sweetness of yours. He, however, contains himself and smiles in between the kiss, instead. He was probably gonna be the death of you.

The deep kiss loses intensity as a minute passes by, so you two end up giving smaller kisses and share smiles, your noses constantly touching in skimo kisses. And you think it's perfect; it's way better than what you one day imagined.

Chan can't miss the chance to make you sit on his lap, so now your head rests over his chest. Your fingers fidgeting the hem of his hoodie and shyly longing to intertwine your hands.

"Hey, Y/N?" He grabs your attention and smiles. "Are you a parking ticket?"

You raise an eyebrow, "Why?"

"Because you've got fine written all over you." He ends up with a muffled laughter.

"Oh no, what did I just get myself into?" You joke around, this time finally making him burst into a louder laughter. "You just declared war on me about pickup lines, you know?"

"Oh, so you got some lines, too? Can't wait to hear all of them, then."

And for the rest of the day you let yourself be held in between the arms of the person you loved the most. Later you'd find the way to flirt with him and make him feel flustered when he least expects it.

#kpop x male reader #skz x male reader #stray kids x m!reader #stray kids x male reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids male reader #bang chan x male reader #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #bang chan x reader #stray kids imagines

[defdaily]

Arena Homme+ Magazine September 2021 issue featuring JAY B: Nature, Dreams and Music

Translated by defdaily.

That day, JAY B’s world was filled with grass that came up to his knees, sunset that briefly peeked through the dark clouds, and ghosts of the silent campsite. Insects flew about in the intimate conversation of creation, dreams, and the future. An interview with JAY B amidst the passing seasons.

So you are working on an album?

The album is almost finished. I couldn’t release it at the beginning of the year, so I’m releasing it now in the second half of the year. I’m thinking of preparing things early on for next time so [we] are preparing for the production of another album.

There was a big change this year, you moved from JYP Entertainment to H1GHR MUSIC, right? What did you expect before becoming a part of H1GHR MUSIC?

At first I was worried. and was concerned over what to do if I couldn’t adapt. My goal for this year was to adapt to the agency and its artists, but everyone has made me feel comfortable. I thought I would have to do a lot of adjusting to the new agency staff, but I was surprised by how understanding they were of the system I had experienced. The way there has been no problem in our communication has far exceeded my expectations. Things are flowing smoothly.

It must feel like a fresh start. You must be looking forward to getting to do what you couldn’t do previously, but on the other side you must also have hopes to learn more. Is there anyone that could provide you with blunt advice?

I’m not the demanding type. And I have never strongly demanded anything from the company either. But that doesn’t mean I accept anything the company makes and provides me. The difference is that my opinion is reflected in my work more than before. If I was going to lead everything at work, there would have been no need to join an agency. Joining the agency means communicating with their staff. I also think we should listen to other people's opinions a lot. And you have to give feedback too, of course. I am working well with the company. Be it a push or advice as help, I learnt a lot from my previous company. Since I have learnt a lot from there, I should trust myself a little more now. I try to relay what I know and learn about things I’m not knowledgeable of. I rely on Jay Bum hyung a lot. I contact him right away when there’s something I don’t know, and we have a lot of conversations.

Is it important that an artist is stubborn? Do you feel the need to emphasise your own music and personality?

Artists have different personalities, just as people have different preferences. I don't want to diss an artist who is stubborn, nor do I want to tell anyone who isn’t stubborn that they are not an artist. I acknowledge everyone. I, personally, want to express the way I live. I like making music. An artist should be clear about what they want to do. Whether it be to become a star, or to express themselves through music or to earn money, it has to be clear.

What is your clear stance as an artist?

Whether it’s fiction or reality, I want to make stories. I’m the type that wants to tell a story. It was like that too in my GOT7 days. I believe one should create and establish their own path in life. I think that's fun. It's hard, but it's worth it. It adds more meaning to my job and I think it becomes more valuable. If I didn't do it myself, I would feel less attached to it.

There’s nothing more fun than one’s own work. Showing your work and waiting for the response must also be thrilling.

Exactly. I love hearing that my music is good. I’m very shy so I cannot express it very well but I’m very thankful and proud too. And it reassures me that I’m not going down the wrong path.

It does feel like all the hard times disappear when you hear good feedback. But feedback isn’t always good. There are even people who avoid them because of fear of criticism.

To be honest, when it comes to unpleasant feedback, it kind of makes me feel… “ouch!” But I accept it because it is still an evaluation. It also gives me a boost. It’s fun.

You are a solo artist now. Do you feel a burden or pressure?

I don’t feel pressured, but I do feel the burden. I joined H1GHR MUSIC and I feel a sense of belonging. I gain something from this company, but I think this company should gain something from me, too. I have worries about things like whether I’ll be able to benefit the company or not. I feel slightly uneasy about possibly not meeting expectations too.

You feel a sense of responsibility.

There's always a reason and a purpose to start anything. Everyone starts music because they like it, and if they start, there must be music they want to make. So if there is criticism, one would feel down, but if the final product is good, the people that worked on it would feel good. That’s what I hope for.

You uploaded a bunch of your Def. songs onto your YouTube channel. There was quite a lot. Are you the prolific type?

I used to be but… I guess I’m still the type to make many songs. (Laughs). But compared to back then, my production has decreased a lot. My stamina can’t keep up. (Laughs). I used to be able to start and finish working on a song at dawn and when I felt like I could do more, I made more. Nowadays, even when I’m working on only one song, not only is it hard for my body, but I also feel drained so I can’t make many songs.

Isn’t it really fast to make even one song at dawn?

Ah, that’s true. I used to work like that three or four times a week, but now I work once or twice a week. Come to think of it, I don't think I'm the prolific type anymore.

Being able to make a lot of things means you have a lot of ideas.

Having run out of ideas is also a reason for having less work done. There are five mixtapes I’ve uploaded onto YouTube with four to five tracks each. At the time, I not only worked on those but music for GOT7 too. After hustling so hard, I feel like I’ve run out of material. I look around wondering where to find inspiration. When I finish making the melody and want to write lyrics, I feel lost.

In order to be prepared for those situations, creators keep a collection of material. How do you collect resources?

I often read or use my imagination. These days, I often put myself in others’ shoes. When watching a movie, one would empathize with the protagonist. It’s only natural since the plot revolves around them. But I would pay attention to the supporting roles or passerbys in the background and think about the story from their point of view. I would think about what I would do if I heard those words and if I were in that situation. I also pay close attention to any words that might be a good source of inspiration. In the past I would focus on how the plot developed, but now I look at the words that the author uses repeatedly. When I think of any useful words or ideas, I jot them down.

Observing the supporting roles instead of the central narrative is such a novel idea.

I suddenly thought of it while watching a movie at home. The protagonist had said some harsh and rude words to a supporting role. It was something like “Get out of my way.” I thought “How would it have felt to be the one moving out of their way? What would they feel?” These were the thoughts I had.

Has anyone told you that you have a unique perspective?

I’ve often heard that my personality is very unique.

People can say they don’t like something despite others saying they like it. That could come off as unique and fresh ideas come from an uncommon perspective too.

I think it’s 50/50. There are times when something might not feel like much for me while others like it, and times when everyone else seems quite indifferent while I like it. A song I recently liked the idea of is “Smile, Wait for the Flash” by Giriboy where he used the ‘kacha’ shutter sound as gunfire. Using ‘kacha’ like a gunfire as a metaphor for wrapping up your feelings after a breakup was a refreshing idea. It was great.

Do you also often use your instincts?

I try hard to. I don’t naturally use my instincts, but I try to look at things through a different lens. I tend to have random thoughts, and I had one today during the shoot too. This is a camping site, but there was no one camping. So I imagined how it would look when full of people moving about. Also during the shoot, there was a long blade of grass under my feet on a field of grass. I should have avoided it but I accidentally stepped on it. I felt sorry for the grass that got stepped on and out of instinct I said “sorry…”

Seems like you have keen sensibility.

I wish I could be sensible. I’m too cautious to say that I am sensible, though.

I think you would be considered a sensible person because you make music. But I noticed that the comments are disabled for Def.’s mixtapes on YouTube.

The songs that I make under “Def.” are 100% music that I personally wanted to make. I didn’t want to receive feedback, so I disabled the comments. If I release an album under “Def.” in the future, I probably won't be able to disable the comments. I don’t know. The reason I have disabled the comments is because I don’t want to see any praise nor criticism. I don’t look at the comments for my SoundCloud tracks either. Because they’re very personal projects, I’m worried I could be swayed by it so I don’t look at it on purpose. I don’t want to be swayed by anything when it comes to my personal projects. I guess that’s my way of being stubborn.

So it sounds like you’re saying the songs that are made under the name Def. are like a part of you. I can feel your sincerity towards your music.

I would pretend to be indifferent to evaluations, but I’m really scared of receiving negative comments. Not the criticism but I’m scared to look at comments that decide something as ‘not good.’ If they say that it’s not their style, then it’s just personal preference. There may not be songs that match their preference within my discography. But it’s difficult for me to hear people say ‘this is not good, bad, or meh.’ After all, those songs came from me and are like my children.

I remember many tracks with gentle melodies and discovered JAY B’s delicate side. Is this surprising to hear?

This is the first time I’ve been called delicate. I do have several sensitive/vibey songs. I want to try something like a pop, hip-hop, or smug and cocky vibe but I’m not good at that. I don’t think it’s my personality.

What is considered a good melody to you?

Something that feels good at the first listen. My music taste has been so diverse recently that even when I talk to my friends about music, the songs that we all like are different. It’s hard to reach a consensus. In the creator’s perspective, even if something doesn’t sound good to others but it does to the creator, I consider that to be a good melody. I used to stress over how to write a good melody, how to sing it, and if the company would like it. As I move on step by step, I found a standard where at least the melody should sound good enough to me to not abandon the song since everyone has different preferences.

Personal preferences are important but it must be an important job to cater to the general public too. No, I mean, a difficult job.

That’s right. I think I still lack the ability to create melodies that the general public would like. I will have to learn step by step. One thing I feel is that there must be a part that sticks. I can’t exactly describe what type of melody it would be, but to set a minimum standard, it would be ‘a melody that I’m satisfied with. If it’s one that I’m not satisfied with but the public likes, I should follow that.

Do you tend to use many tracks when making music? There’s lot of songs these days that use dozens of layers of tracks.

We used a lot of harmonies with GOT7. Because there were so many harmonies, there was a crazy number of tracks too. These days, I try to be minimal and reduce harmonies. I don’t layer many tracks. I usually have the main track with a few harmonies and some adlibs.

K-Pop in particular mixes many genres and harmonies to create complex music. They are very flashy. What do you think of this phenomenon as someone who prefers to be minimal?

I see it as a good thing, because it means that the general public’s preference is expanding to a variety. It’s rather better. Of course, the basics are also important and I do feel the necessity to study them but we also need to agree with change. We should accept change. Who knows, I might grow old to be someone that can’t accept change and wonder, ‘what kind of music is this?’ But I feel that now is a time to open our eyes to change. When I find that a song is difficult to listen to, I will purposely listen to it repeatedly.

It’s been 10 years since you’ve debuted. How much have you changed over these 10 years?

In the past I was ambitious and had high expectations, but now I am more relaxed. With age, I think my sensitive side is becoming more and more dull. When I let go of some desires, I get to be accepting of more things. The scope of my activities also seems to have widened. I used to have a stubborn side to me in the past. Now I’m like ‘don’t expect too much, don’t anticipate too much,’ just do my job diligently!

There are many artists that use other creative hobbies to ease the burdens of their main job. What do you do to cope with your fuel for creativity?

My hobby is photography so I take many photos. I also learned how to draw at one point but nowadays, I don’t have time to draw since I’m busy. I also make records of things often. I write down my thoughts, even useless things. I also use an audio recorder to record my mood, thoughts, and things I’m currently doing. I also write letters to my future self. Things like ‘this is why I’m struggling, this is what would be good for me now but how it would be for my future self?’ Wondering what I will be thinking about and what I would look like. I write letters to myself about stuff like that. I put them in envelopes according to the year and on the envelope I write down the year the letter was written.

So It’s like an archive of your time. Writing, journaling, letters, photos, music, it’s interesting. A very organised way of saving your thoughts to not lose them. Having said that, is there anyone else you would like to show your records to besides your future self?

Ah! I can’t show this to people. They’ll cringe. (Laughs) It’s sort of embarrassing. I can show the photos to everyone but I want to keep voice messages to myself. I hope that when I am older, I can look at them as I laugh and reminisce about my life. They’re records for myself.

Do you also record everyday life in any way?

I record when I find it interesting the way I thought about something. Even looking at my journal from last year or the year before, my thoughts were different from now. I find it intriguing to see the way people can change like this. I think I tend to have many thoughts, so I record them every day.

From the position of a creator, I guess journaling can be seen as an activity to collect one’s senses and emotions to use them as material for inspiration.

That’s right. My brain isn’t good enough for me to remember everything. There are situations when I recall a memory and decide I could write this down.

What was the most fun thing you did lately?

It’s a bit dangerous, but it was when I rode around on my motorcycle with my friend. There was suddenly a heavy downpour. Since I needed to go home, I rode the motorcycle in the rain. I was completely soaked when I got home. The journey home was super difficult, but I was fortunate enough to not have suffered any injuries. It was a completely new experience so it was very fun. I don’t want to experience it again but it felt like an adventure.

Wearing the Burberry 2021 F/W collection in the pictorial today must also be a new experience. Slightly different from the refined and classic Burberry, the collection shows a lot of change. What were your usual thoughts on Burberry?

I thought of it as a clean and straightforward style. Ever since some time, I noticed their young and bold changes. Although today’s outfits contained many new attempts and changes, I felt that their style was still well refined. I felt that Burberry used their own unique perspective to cleanly interpret nature’s elements. Wearing the outfits, I felt like they had a lot of fun ideas.

Which outfit left the biggest impression on you?

Choosing just one is very difficult. There was one that gave off the feel of a medieval knight, and made me feel like a monarch. I’ve heard that in medieval times, people would also wear bearskin from hunting. I think that has some influence on the Burberry outfits that I wore today. Every time I put on an outfit, I always felt like a medieval knight or king. The fur on the clothes had a strong animalistic feel to it. The scenery, weather, and concept were all very harmonious with each other.

Going back to the topic of music, you said that you like to tell stories. Do you also create a universe with music?

Yes, I create a universe for each album. This album creates this universe, while that album creates another. The albums won’t connect to create one universe, though. Each album is its own world, nothing more. I can’t make them magnificently connect into a grand universe. I like to put my story into each album.

Can you use a keyword to describe the universe of the album you are about to release?

It would be “SOMO:FUME.” This is the first album that I made after joining H1GHR MUSIC. This album consists of my energy, feelings, and thoughts, so it contains the meaning of my hopes for people to consume (somo in Korean) this product and and my wishes for my emotions to smear on to you like perfume, which is why I combined [somo] with the [English word] perfume, and named [the album] SOMO:FUME.

In which direction will JAY B’s music flow from now onwards?

I’ve pondered about directionality for a long time, but I couldn’t come up with an answer. The important part is to participate enough for me to not have regrets and be careful. I may disappoint myself if I have too many expectations for the future. I need to work diligently to not be disappointed when I look back; so that in the future, I can see that I worked hard.

Translated by defdaily.

Please support JAY B’s 1st EP album [SOMO:FUME] coming out on August 26 at 6PM KST. jayb1stsoloep.carrd.co

#jaebeom #lim jaebeom #jay b #def. #got7 #got7 jb #interviewtrans #defdaily #defdaily:trans #h1ghrmusic #somofume #style of my own: fume #SOMO:FUME

[taetaespeaches]

“I didn’t think you’d care if I came back.”

yoongi x reader (or oc) genre: angst; fluff word count: 3.2K

a/n: Finally we have some fluff again! I mean, the angst is still here, but we’re getting to a resolution. This drabble is inspired by “this is me trying” off of Taylor Swift’s album, folklore, and it takes place after, “You know that I would ruin myself over and over again for you.” This also includes a hint of crack for some comic relief, and because where Jin and Poopsie go, crack follows. I hope you all enjoy, and thanks for reading! :)) 

STEPPING into your apartment, returning home from work, your eyes scanned the small space with distaste. You dreaded coming home to your empty sofa and your empty kitchen and your very empty bed. Even more so, you hated the disappointment you felt in yourself for letting another person get so close to you that they started to feel like home.

Dropping your bag at the front door, you kicked your shoes off carelessly before making your way straight to the bathroom to take a shower. Your showers had been doubling in length, perhaps in hopes that the heat of the water would scald the past couple months right off your skin. Or maybe it was just to feel something other than the hurt.

It was just two months of your life. Why was it having such an impact? It had only been three days since Yoongi walked out, so you hoped it was just the newness of it all that had you feeling so hollow.

Yoongi was just stopping by the dorm for a change of clothes and then he was heading back to the studio. He had spent three days straight in his studio, not even returning to the dorms after leaving your place. Whereas his fans would probably think he was working hard on the second Agust D mixtape, he was mostly just sulking.

He did what was best right? You said you were ruining yourself over him. He was ruining you. So, he left. He didn’t try to work it out, he left. For you. That way, you would have a chance at happiness with someone else. Someone more suitable for you. Someone who could give you what you deserve.

Walking toward his bedroom with his overnight bag in tow, the sound of his roommate’s squeaky laughter echoed through the hallway. Yoongi was suddenly very thankful for the isolation his studio provided, as he remembered Jin saying his girlfriend was visiting family for a few days so he wouldn’t get to see her right away upon returning to Korea from Japan. She must be back now.

“I don’t care if the whole game and franchise is named after Mario, Yoshi is hands down the best character in the Mario realm, and that’s just a fact,” her ranting sounded through the closed door, Jin interrupting her with overdramatic sound effects. Yoongi’s hand was on the doorknob and he had half a mind to ignore his need for a change of clothes and escape back to his studio before anyone noticed he was there.

“There wouldn’t even be a Yoshi if it weren’t for Mario because there would be no Mario franchise,” Jin shouted back, Yoongi’s motions still stalled as he stood on the other side of the door in disbelief. Fucking Mario? Really?

With a sigh, Yoongi opened the door, clearing his throat to alert the two idiots of his presence. Jin’s head popped up off the pillows, greeting Yoongi with an, “oh, hey,” his girlfriend sitting up from her spot next to Jin on the bed.

“Oh, Yoongi, thank god you’re here,” she exclaimed, Yoongi flashing her a surprised expression. “Tell Jin that Yoshi is the best Mario character.”

“That’s ridiculous and you know it,” Jin shouted with wide eyes, his girlfriend turning to look at him. “Yoshi can be your favorite character, but you can’t argue he’s the best.”

“Why can’t I?” She complained, Yoongi quickly losing all interest as he escaped to his side of the room, separated from the bickering couple by a large bookcase.

“Because it’s not called Super Yoshi, or Yoshi Kart,” Jin informed her. Yoongi hurried around his belongings, shoving some clothes into his bag so he could get back to this studio without being dragged back into the couple’s pointless disagreement.

“You’re so annoying,” she huffed, Jin laughing at her attitude.

Zipping the bag back up, Yoongi started toward the door, anxious to get out of the dorm, away from everyone.

“Aw, but I got you something in Japan,” Jin told his girlfriend. Her silence piqued Yoongi’s interest, for reasons unknown to Yoongi, enough for him to look back. She was looking at Jin with her eyebrows raised as Jin pulled out a Yoshi figure from his pocket. “It’s Yoshi!” Yoongi watched as the girl held back a smile, trying to keep up her challenging glare. “I may disagree with you, but I support you and your poor judgement,” Jin teased the girl, lowering himself onto his knees on the bed.

“I'm in love with you, so you may be on to something with the poor judgement thing,” the girl teased right back, taking the figure before cooing at it. “It’s so cute, thank you,” she told him, Yoongi quickly exiting the room.

Part of him found the two lovers cute. A much bigger part found them annoying and gross. Shoving their love in everyone’s faces. He felt like a bitter old man as he shuffled out of the dorm angrily. Why was it that Jin could manage a relationship? How was it that Jin could have his shit together, but Yoongi couldn't? And Hoseok for that matter. Hell, even Namjoon was seeing someone. Why couldn't Yoongi do the same? Making his way out of the building, you overtook his mind. You would have called him out on being a bitter old man. “Jesus, Grampa Min, stop being so grumpy,” he could hear you saying with a giggle. You’d probably even press a kiss to his forehead, flashing him a warm smile. All anger and bitterness dissipated from his body, leaving him sad and frustrated with himself, even more so than before.

Another addition to the list of things you were growing to hate about your living space: it was cold. Bundled up in a large sweatshirt, baggy sweatpants, and colorful fluffy socks on your feet, you waited in the kitchen for your water to boil. All you wanted to do was have a cup of tea and plant yourself in front of the TV to waste away while watching the next Netflix series in your queue. Your still wet hair only made you colder, a shiver moving through your body, causing you to let out a groan.

You resisted the urge to check your phone. He surely hadn’t texted, and you didn’t feel like dealing with the pain that struck your heart every time you saw no notifications from him.

As you mindlessly played with the ends of your damped hair, a knock suddenly sounded on your door, and your heart dropped into your stomach. It had to be him. No one ever visited you at 6:30 pm on a Thursday night. You thought about not answering it, but when the knock sounded again, you convinced yourself you could be wrong. It could be someone else.

Then you caught yourself hoping it wasn't someone else.

Hesitantly, you opened the door, and if you weren’t so angry you would have cried at the sight in front of you.

Yoongi stood in your doorway, dark circles just as prominent as three days ago, eyes puffy and slightly red, one of his hands shoved into his pants pocket, the other hanging by his thigh as he held onto a bouquet of tulips.

Your eyes lingered on the flowers for a moment, not because you really cared about the gesture, but because the appearance of the man who had always been so composed before now looking so completely broken on your doorstep was almost too devastating for your heart to bear.

His eyes scanned your features desperately, though neither of you spoke. It was hard to find the words.

It felt like minutes passed by before Yoongi finally opened his mouth to say something, though he struggled to get the words out. “Kid, I-” he started, tears forming in his eyes.

“I don’t want your flowers if they come with disillusions,” you told him bitterly, holding onto your anger, despite the bubbling feeling of wanting to wrap him up in your arms.

Your eyes followed a tear as it slid off his plush cheek, the cheeks you adored so much, landing on the side of his hand. “If you want me to lay out all my mistakes right now, I will,” he told you sincerely, the comment taking you by surprise. “For starters, I shouldn’t have left. I should have fought with you, I should have stayed to finish that fight,” he said in frustration, partly to himself.

Maybe the words should have confused you, but you understood exactly what he was saying. For you both to express your frustrations with each other and with yourselves, the fight needed to happen. With Yoongi leaving, you didn’t get to the point of discussion following the anger. Instead, he walked away, as if you weren’t worth fighting with, or for.

“Why did it take you three days to come back?” You asked, a strange mixture of anger and sadness and hope swirling around your stomach.

“I didn’t think you’d care if I came back,” he admitted sadly, wiping his face with the back of his hand to get rid of the tears, the bouquet messing his fringe as it made contact with his forehead. He avoided eye contact, keeping his stare directed to your fuzzy sock-covered feet.

“Of course, I care,” you told him, taking a step back to allow him space to enter your apartment. His eyes followed the colorful fluffy material as you moved aside. “Now get in here so we can fight.”

You barely noticed the quirk in Yoongi's lip as it curved just slightly into the tiniest of smiles. He entered your apartment tentatively, and his presence already made it feel more like home again. You felt certain in that moment that no matter what room he walked into, it would feel like home.

Turning toward you, still avoiding your eyes but raising his gaze to your waist, he weakly held up the bouquet. "These are tulips," he told you dumbly, finishing the statement off with a sniffle.

You stared at him for a moment but he didn't continue. "I know," you finally said.

Another beat went by as you faced each other, a feeling of awkwardness enveloping the room. “They symbolize-" he started, just as the teapot started screaming in the kitchen.

“Hang on,” you told him, rushing to the kitchen to remove the pot from the stove, turning the burner off. For a moment, you thought about sitting in the kitchen for a moment to gather your thoughts, but with a vulnerable Min Yoongi standing just a few feet away, you found yourself hurrying back to him.  

“Sorry, what were you saying?” You asked, Yoongi looking to the side of the room.

“Tulips symbolize-”

"Yoongi,” you breathed out. “I don't care about the flowers right now, what are you doing here?" You cut him off, getting straight to the point.

"I want to fix this," he told you sincerely, lifting his gaze to meet yours.

You shrugged. "And how?" He stared at you for a moment, so you decided to continue. "I'm sick of feeling like I'm not wanted."

Yoongi quickly negated the comment, shaking his head. "I always want you."

"Then why do I feel unwanted by you?" Your volume raised as you asked the question, Yoongi appearing to hold his breath for a moment. Letting it out in a shaky breath, he looked back to your feet. "You say you want me but your actions say different, Yoongi. And you can't tell me how I feel, I feel unwanted."

"I'm sorry," he apologized quietly, lifting his gaze to meet your eyes. "I'm not trying to tell you how you feel, I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I made you feel that way," his voice broke.

"I don't want to hold this over your head, and I don't want you beating yourself up for it," you told him. "I just want you. But if I can't have you and feel good about myself and us, then I need to you to leave and I need you to stay gone." Speaking the words added cracks to your heart, but it also lifted a weight off your shoulders.

"I deal with a lot of shit," he suddenly said, your eyebrows pulling together in confusion. "Mentally. And that mixed with my work- I'm afraid of putting you through hell just because I'm selfish and want you," he told you with tears in his eyes. That’s what he’s afraid of? Putting his burdens on you? "I get so stuck in my head and I was in Japan and all I could think of was you and,” he sighed, looking into your eyes. “Fuck, Kid, I wanted to call you every moment I was gone. But that's for me, what am I giving you?" He shrugged hopelessly.

"You," you told him, your tears threatening to fall. "You're giving me you."

"And what's that worth?" His question shattered your heart. What's that worth?

"Baby, that's worth everything to me," you told him. "When you’re actually giving yourself to me, I feel more like myself. I feel braver and happier and-" looking back at the bouquet in his hands, you asked, "why tulips?"

He stalled for a moment, surprised by the question. "Right now?" Nodding at him, you bit back a grin. A faint smile appeared on his face, scoffing at himself. "Tulips can mean rebirth and forgiveness and true love, and I'm not saying we're in love,” he quickly backtracked. “I mean not yet, but we could be some day, and," he spoke slow but he was lost in his words, panicking over bringing up love, and the sight of him trying to find his way was enough to make you crack a smile. His speech faded out as he watched your face brighten just the slightest bit, a blush overtaking his plush cheeks. "I don't know what the fuck flowers mean, I don't know what I'm doing."

"That much is obvious," you teased, Yoongi letting out a single breathy chuckle at the comment.

"All I know how to do is care about you, Kid," he shrugged.

Tears forming in your eyes at his confession, you shook your head. "Then care about me."

"I'm trying," he told you, staring into your eyes. For a man who usually avoided eye contact, you were surprised by the sincerity he was trying to convey as he held your gaze. "I really am trying."

"I know," you nodded. And he was.  

"I wanted to protect you from me," he added, his orbs scanning your face. "But fuck, Kid, I can't stay away from you." You watched him thoughtfully as he spoke. "But when I saw the hurt in your face-" he paused to compose his emotions. "When you said you thought I left that morning," he shook his head. "That's when I first realized what I was doing to you."

"But you don't have to do that to me," you reminded him. "You don't have to protect me from you, I've told you I'm prepared to be with you regardless of your lifestyle and your work." Yoongi stared at you as you spoke, and you cocked your head at him. "I'm ok with the time apart and the late-night dates and the days where we can only fit a few texts in.”

“But are you ok with me? And everything that comes with me?” He asked. He was really asking, he needed the assurance.

“Of course, I am,” you told him definitively. “I want all of you. You don’t need to wear this mask around me, you don’t need to shield me from you. And you’re not the only one with demons,” you told him. “I want you and everything that comes with you. I’m just not ok with feeling like I'm always about to lose you."

"Baby," he whispered.

"I can't keep being afraid that every time you walk out the door, you might not come back," you whimpered, a tear falling down your cheek. "I need assurance too, I need to know you're in this with me as much as I am with you." Yoongi nodded quickly.

"If you want me here, I'm here," he assured you, sincerity coating his words.

"I want you here," you told him. Yoongi suddenly tossed the bouquet onto the table before approaching you. His arms wrapped around your body before you could react, your arms slowly folding over him, holding him close to you as he buried his face in your hair. You felt a kiss on the top of your head, your body responding by relaxing against his frame, turning your face to nuzzle it against his neck. "I'm sorry for the shit I said," you mumbled against his cool skin, still slightly cold from the night air.

"Don't apologize," he whispered into your hair.

"I didn't mean the mean shit," you added, Yoongi chuckling at the obvious pout on your lips.

"You were hardly mean, Kid," he told you, pulling away just a bit to look down at you with a soft smile, his eyes glistening in emotion.

“Well, I’ll never mean the mean shit,” you said with a small smile.

"I missed you,” he told you as he wiped the fallen tears off your cheeks.

"I missed you too," you whispered. “We were supposed to fight, you know,” you added teasingly.

“That wasn’t a fight?” He questioned in feigned surprise. “We still can if you want,” he playfully responded, his eyes widened humorously.

“You came in here trying to explain flower symbolization and I just couldn’t get mad at you,” you giggled, Yoongi smiling adorably just before pushing his lips to yours, giving you a sweet kiss. Before you could deepen it, he pulled away again.

"Yoshi or Mario?"

"What?” You questioned in utter confusion. “Min, I'm trying to make out with you," you complained with a look of dissatisfaction, Yoongi smiling fondly at the expression. With a sigh, you said, "Yoshi, obviously, what do you think I am, an idiot?" Yoongi laughed fully at the comment, his shoulders shaking as he flashed you that adorable gummy smile you were so obsessed with. "Why?" you asked through a small laugh, "what about you?"

"Honestly, I could not care less," he smiled, now your turn to laugh.

"I love that about you," you told him through your big grin.

"My roommate, Jin, thinks Mario is better," he told you, you raising your eyebrows in response. "I think you should come by the dorm to put him in his place. Maybe meet all the other guys too?"

You smiled widely as you nodded. "I'd love to," you said softly, Yoongi nodding before leaning in to kiss you again. "I mean, for Yoshi's honor," you whispered right before his lips pressed to yours.

"Of course," he giggled against your mouth. Pulling back just slightly, Yoongi stared at you for a moment, his eyes appreciating your every feature slowly, taking his time, as you did the same with him. Wrapping his arms around the back of your neck, he tugged you closer to him to hold you against his body once again. "Jin's a moron but remind me to thank him one of these days," he whispered against your temple.

"I will," you giggled. "But for what?"

"For having his shit together."

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