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lwt28brave · 3 years

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LT2 masterpost

If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.

Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.

I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.

Possible tracks:

Copy of a Copy of a Copy

Change

Faith in the future??

369??

Possible names:

369

Faith in the future

When is the album coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine

Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?

Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.

Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).

The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.

2020

He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.

(x)(x)(x)

Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.

May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.

Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…

Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:

Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.

Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^

And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:

(x)

He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)

And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.

(x)

He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).

COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!

These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.

I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).

So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.

---End of the Intermission---

Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)

It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!

He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)

(x)

Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.

2021

Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!

15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥

(x)

So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.

“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.

He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!

Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.

On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:

He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.

(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.

(x)

…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).

On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!

On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)

Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.

On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).

Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.

(x) And the second mention to 369.

(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".

On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.

Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.

Into May’ 21 we go.

He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).

He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.

I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.

I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.

Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.

Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.

He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.

June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.

(x)

This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.

He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.

During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.

On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.

He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!

I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.

Let’s talk Change!

On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.

(x)

And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.

We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.

On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.

(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.

So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).

Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).

On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.

And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.

On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.

“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.

“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.

“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.

And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.

So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.

#LT2 #Louis Tomlinson #Faith in The future #369 #Louis #LT #new music #idk what this is #but it's long #pinned

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absurdthirst · 3 years

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😭 like the only thing giving me comfort rn is thinking about a big bad mandalorian being all soft for me and holding me.. i love himmm -🥦

The Darkness

In the darkness is when he comes. When the ship is quiet except for the hum of the engines. The lights are powered down and you hear the steady tink of the water from the fresher. Something that he’s been meaning to fix, but now it’s almost soothing in it’s rhythm.

He’s warm. No cold beskar armor covering his body. No sturdy thick fabric covering his frame. A worn soft pair of sleeping pants and a bare chest. Still feeling like a furnace against your skin as he presses himself to you in the crowded bunk you were in.

His unmodulated voice is soft and his touch gentle as he holds you. Nothing serious is discussed during this time. It’s all loving and sweet words. Things that would make you burn in embarrassment to say in the harsh light of the ship or whatever planet you are on. But here, time is suspended, it’s infinite.

Nothing else exists outside the door to this bunk. There is no Razor Crest. No galaxy or bounties. Right here it’s just you and Din.

He’s not a bounty hunter. He’s not feared and hated. He’s not the subject of jealous or doubtful looks. He’s just a man. A man that holds you closely and presses soft kisses to the crown of your head. That rubs his thumbs along the column of your throat and hums in approval when your pulse jumps for him.

In the darkness there is nothing scary out there. No pain or worries, so sadness or fear. In the darkness there is just the man you love holding you as if you were the most precious thing in existence.

MasterList

Permanent Tag List:

@synystersilenceinblacknwhite @thewaythisis @thisis-theway @hanelijoy @readsalot73 @ah-callie @cable-kenobi @roxypeanut @arrowswithwifi @badassbaker @javierpenaspinkshirt @wickedfrsgrl @lilangeldevil006 @fioccodineveautunnale @jade10077 @getinthepoolkeanu @kirstiehenderson29 @fleurdemiel145 @thirsty-flygirl @random066 @pascalisthepunkest @whataenginerd @tangledlove27 @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @gamingaquarius @the-baby-bookworm @jaime1110 @yamaktaria @perksofbeingivyy @earl-01 @gooddaykate @emesispo @deathlife97 @dindisneydjarin @a-ghost-in-the-tardis @veil-of-time @dornish-queen @theocatkov @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @sheerfreesia007 @apples-of-february @dindjar-n @visintaes @mandolover86 @whiskeyxinxaxteacup @immortalstarme @promiscuoussatan @takemepedropascal @katheriner1999 @nerdypinupcrystal @artemiseamoon @paintballkid711 @sirianisrock @engineeredfiction @frietiemeloen @mstgsmy @lilkermit14 @mrschiltoncat @dearspacepirates @thatgirlselectryc @lark-cale @hayley-the-comet @phoenixhalliwell @pedroepascal @501theory @max--phillips @thegreenkid @chicken-nugget-puta @corrupt-fvcker @im-just-here-for-cake @dindjarinscape @ohpedromypedro @moonlightburned @flightlessangelwings @f0rever15elf @kenedyybrooklin @mrsparknuts @lonelystarship @meabravo @chibi-liz05 @ilikechocolatemilkh @babybelou @melon-eyes @arabellathorne @aeryntheofficial @the-wishmonger @onabouteverything @goblinqueen95 @ladytrashbird @awhiskeywithawinchester @thirstworldproblemss @66wookies @luvzoria @xxidontwikeitxx @jedi-mando @castiel-barnes @20skai @rach7 @wanderlustmags @barnes-dameron @neontonberry @artsymaddie @andriecastana @kyberpoe @wigwitch @corellians-only @honeymandos @edencherries @popped-weasels @sesamepancakes @darthadeline @silverfish-kingdom @april-14-blog @xjaywritesx @josepedropascal @mrsbarnes-rogers @heyitmelexie @allthingsnarcos @bookshelvesandteacups @destiny21 @sweetsunflowerkisses @stardust-galaxies

Mando Tag List:

@inforapound @ellvswriting @hp-marvel-starwars-kotlc @i-am-sleepy-as-heck @vesperstalksclones @kiwibaekie @breezey @thekingofthegoats @altarsw @iwasbusybeingdead @pcrushinnerd

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #mando x you #mando x reader

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nashibirne · 3 years

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Painkiller -4

Here we go again. The date was a disaster and in chapter 4 Henry and Ella deal with their feelings and get some advice, even if they don't want to. I hope you enjoy it - likes, reblogs and comments are much appreciated, so feel free to let me know what you think!

Paring: Henry Cavill x OFC (Ella) Summary: What do you do after a disastrous date? You get unasked advice from your brother and your friends. Warnings: slight angst, that's it Unbeta'ed! English ist not my first language, so sorry in advance for mistakes in grammar or spelling. Credits: The pics for the moodboard are from pintrest, except Jax's pic, that one is from a screenshot from an app (moments - choose your story). If I violate any copyright, please let me know.

Previous parts can be found here: Nashi's Masterlist

Taglist: @hell1129-blog @lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo (let me know if you want to be added or removed!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night when Henry was back in Kensington, sitting on the couch in his living room, having a glass of whiskey, he couldn't stop his thoughts from running through the night's events again and again. He was disappointed, he was angry, he was sad - he simply felt terrible. Kal was lying beside him, his big head resting on Henry's lap, enjoying a bit of tender love and care.

When his phone beeped, his heart skipped a beat.

Ella?

He took a look at the screen and closed his eyes with a sigh. Charlie. His brother knew Henry had a date tonight and now he was trying to tease him.

"Hey, supes...how's your date going. Already saved the damsel in distress? Holding her in your arms rn?"

Henry considered ignoring the message but he decided to answer anyway.

"Nope. Back in my fortress of solitude. With empty arms."

His phone started ringing only seconds after he'd sent the message.

"Hi Charlie." Henry greeted his brother not too enthusiastically.

"Hey, Hen. What's up? You're already back from your date?"

"Yeah...."

"You don't sound so good. What happened?"

"I fucked it up, Charlie. That's what happened." Henry pinched the spot at the root of his nose with his thumb and middle finger. He felt a bad headache coming. He was going to need a painkiller.

"She turned you down?"

His little brother sounded much too amused for Henry's taste.

"Well, we had kind of a Daenerys-Ser-Jorah-moment..."

"Ouch...she friendzoned you?"

"Yep."

Charlie laughed.

"I can hardly believe it. But good to know even you can't have every woman you want. I mean normally they jump you before you can count to three."

"Oh shut up. That's not funny." Henry snapped, his voice loud and sharp.

"Okay, okay...I'm sorry brother. No need to get mad."

"But I am mad. Mad at myself."

"Why. What did you do?"

"I didn't listen to my intuition." Henry said with a deep sigh of exhaustion and disappointment. "You know when I asked Ella out and she agreed my gut feeling told me to take her to a simple Italian restaurant, nothing trendy, nothing too expensive. Just a normal place for a normal date. She even suggested going out in Uxbridge because she knows some nice restaurants in her neighbourhood. But my ego knew better. It was like...make this date different. Take her to a place ordinary guys don't have access to. Let her see how special you are and what you have to offer...and my intuition was beaten."

"You wanted to show off to her" Charlie stated the problem in one sentence.

"Yeah. I wanted to impress her. Of course I chose the Aston Martin and not the Audi or the Tesla. And I took her to "Gianni's"..."

"Oohh...Fort Knox..."

"Exactly. The food was great, she loved it, but she was intimidated by the atmosphere and the exclusivity. She was tense and felt uncomfortable and our conversation was dragging and uneasy. It didn't help much that I made a fool of myself, trying to make her loosen up. On set the director would have stopped me for overacting. And I don't know what happened when she went to the toilet but when she came back she was pretty jazzed and somehow distressed.

And now she thinks our lives are too different, that she doesn't fit into my world and that we're better off as friends. Oh and she mentioned not being completely over her ex but that was probably an excuse to make me feel better. To put it in a nutshell, I was bragging and it totally backfired"

"But why? Bragging is not much like you."

"Honestly? I don't know. There's just something about her that puts me off. And that's crazy because she is really down-to-earth, humble and nice. I'm sure she's not the kind of woman that's impressed by status symbols, money or fame. I knew that the minute I met her. But I have this irrational need to show her what I've got. Maybe it's because I subconsciously think that all that's left when I show her the real Henry, without all the luxurious and impressive extras, is an ordinary, average, nerdy bore."

"You can hardly call it subconscious when you can name the core problem so accurately." Charlie threw in.

"Shut up, smartass. That's not the point."

"No, it's not. The point is that somewhere underneath all these muscles and this superman aura you're still the insecure teen, who always had the feeling to be not good or cool or attractive enough."

"Oh come on, Doctor Freud. Don't try to analyze me."

"There's not much to analyze, Henry." Charlie sounded serious now. "You have this tendency to feel bad for who you really are. An ordinary guy who likes pc games, books, animals and sports. But that's not nerdy, it's perfectly normal. You're a home loving man in his late thirties who prefers a netflix marathon to a wild night out. That's not boring, it's what millions of people our age do. But it collides with your public image, with your looks and the characters you portray, so you play this role when you date women and they're attracted by the man you pretend to be, by all the glamour, money and VIP stuff and when you can't live up to their expectations when a relationship evolves it doesn't work and they leave or you leave or whatever."

"Are you done with your psychological profile?" Henry was annoyed and Charlie could almost hear him rolling his eyes.

"Not yet. What your little brother is trying to tell you is the following. When you're not showing your true self you attract the kind of women you actually don't really want and who don't really want you. Physically maybe but not for the real thing. So the fact that Ella doesn't want your jet-set self, that she doesn't like all the glitter and gold, shows that she's perfect for you. For the real Henry. Got it?"

"I don't know. Sounds a little complicated to me. But even if you were right. The damage is done. She just wants me as a friend."

"Then be a friend. Spend time with her, talk to her, show her your world outside the biz and when she gets to know you better she'll realize that you're not a poser and maybe there'll be a second chance someday."

"Mmhhh..."

"That's all you have to say?"

"I'll think about it, Charlie."

"Good. Maybe, just for once, you listen to your annoying little brother."

"Yeah...maybe."

*****

Jackson took a big bite of his slice of pizza looking at Ella with a frown. Ella had invited him and Katie for a crisis meeting at her place and they had shown up with lunch exactly after Ella's taste: Pizza and donuts. Ella had put them in the picture about last night and now they were discussing the events.

"But I don't understand why you're not willing to go out with him on another date. Why not give him a second chance?"

"Why would I? This one date was enough to tell that I don't fit into his world."

"You're just scared, he's really 10 inch." Jackson teased with a lewd expression and Katie started to giggle.

Ella made a face at him but she couldn't help but grin. "Why would I be scared? Have you seen your brother naked lately." She asked with raised eyebrows and a smirk.

"Eww...Elsie...gross" Jackson made a puking noise.

"You started it..." She gave him a friendly nudge.

"Guys..." Katie laughed. "Back on topic, okay? I understand Ella, Jax. Maybe his lifestyle really isn't what Ella's looking for in a man."

"You can hardly judge his lifestyle after one date. Maybe he tried to impress her and went a little over the top. And Ella, I'm not saying I know the guy but what I've seen of him on set was all humble, decent and very friendly. No signs of airs and graces, no extravagance.

"Yeah, maybe. But it's not just the car and the restaurant and his VIP friends or his job. I really think it's too early. I'm not ready for something new...after Craig." Ella nibbled a donut, shaking her head before giving Jax a shrug.

"That's bullshit, Elsie, and you know it." Jackson replied, his tone pretty annoyed. "You had zero problems fucking my brother only two months after the break up. And now you're trying to tell me you're not ready to date after one year? He wasn't asking you to marry him. He was asking for a second date. You have to be open minded if you want to move on"

"Oh, stop lecturing me, Jax. That's not what I need right now." Ella got up from her chair with an angry snort. "I need to pee." She left the room and slammed the door behind her.

Jackson took a deep breath and rolled his eyes.

Katie turned to him with a soft smile. "We both know you're right about Craig but don't be so hard on her."

"I'm not hard on her, Katie. She's hard on herself. Why does she make such a fuss about a little swagger? He tried to impress her, so what? Isn't that kind of a compliment that he tried so hard? Truth is...she's scared to be not good enough for him...that's all. Elsie thinks she has to be glamorous and extravagant to fit into his world. She feels not special enough, not beautiful enough, too average or whatever strange fantasies are running around on her mind. She is afraid that he loses interest soon but instead of taking a risk she chickens out and just wants to be friends with him."

"Maybe it's for the best...A bird in the hand...you know. I don't want her to get hurt…"

"No, Katie. You didn't see them at the party. There was this chemistry between them...it was incredible. Like in a movie, you could almost see the sparks and little hearts fly from their eyes. They're meant for each other. As lovers, not as friends." Jackson let out a sigh. He sounded just as frustrated as helpless.

"Yeah...I thought so, when she told me about it. The way she talked about him, with so much enthusiasm, it was remarkable. But Ella doesn't see it that way. Or she doesn't want to." Katie shrugged. "You know how stubborn she is. And how much a cerebral person. Reason tells her that he's out of her league and that his world is too different from hers, from ours. She won't let us tell her otherwise. So just let them be friends and if you're right, if they're made for each other, destiny will find its way."

Katie patted Jackson's knee giving him a comforting smile.

"Yeah. Or maybe she wastes the chance of finding the love of her life and ends up on her own..."

"That's not our responsibility, Jax."

"What's not your responsibility?" Ella asked, entering the room, obviously in a better mood again. It was typical for her. Close to throwing a tantrum the one minute and back to cool, calm and collected the other. Her temper was unpredictable sometimes.

"Your happiness." Jackson replied, giving her an apologetic smile. "I didn't mean to lecture you, Elsie. I'm just trying to help."

"I know, doofus. And I didn't mean to snap. It's just...let me handle this my way, okay?"

"Okay, at your own risk." Jackson got up and hugged her.

"At my own risk." Ella mumbled into his chest.

~~~~~

tbc

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill x ofc #friends to lovers

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years

Note

ok so we have seen over and over again people's assumptions about how gg main characters's instagrams would look like but how do you think their secret tumblr blogs would be? 👀

hmm! i just went over tumblr in general, because i don’t think all of them would have ‘secret’ tumblrs per say? everyone’s thing under the cut, cause it got SO long. i did not mention chuck because i don’t rlly see chuck as having a tumblr in any universe tbh - i feel like he would think it takes away from his businessy vibe or something.

dan's main would be something with a ts eliot url, like, a snippet from one of his poems, or it would be a whitman url, a snippet from a poem again (i see him with a whitman url of some kind & maybe his blog title is an eliot reference.) dan would 100% have the whole dark academia thing going in some ways, i think his blog would be organised as a grid, and he would reblog pictures of libraries, museums, occasionally of art, and also, quotes. so many quotes. so much literature. if you've been on tumblr long enough you know exactly the kind of blog i'm talking about.

dan's tumblr sideblog, on the contrary, would have nothing to link it to him. it'd probably be the tumblr default theme, pastel colours or something... i feel like dan is the specific genre of trans kid who uses a different set of pronouns online for anonymity purposes and then goes "wait a minute i like these pronouns BETTER". his url would be something extremely mundane and random like coffeeaddict779 or something, and it would be all #vent and #dont reblog. nobody who's following his sideblog knows what his main is, and vice versa.

serena would i think have one of those "be kind, do no harm :)" kind of hipster tumblr blogs, except she's incredibly sincere. she wouldn't have a sideblog, i don't think? and i don't think she'd attach her name to it in any way, probably just pronouns in bio and maybe a 'call me S'. she and dan would be mutuals on dan's main! her blog will be very, uh. aesthetic pictures, reblogs of dolphin videos and music and WIP art videos and anything else that'll catch her eye. she'll tag blair in fashion vids, nate in sailing posts, dan in literary stuff, and vanessa in film related/photography related things. she's having fun! every now and then she'll post a vent post but it's extremely vague and it's either something everyone who knows her irl already knows about her ('i hate my mom so much') or something that says practically nothing ('i am so worried about my brother and wish i could do more to help him.')

jenny's fashion inspo blog!!!! what more do you want me to say. she'd make it big in the fashion community and get anons all the time and she'd probably also have an etsy where she sells things she's sewn and made. everyone sort of knows she's an up and coming designer and she'd find a good community online hopefully!!! her blog would be something simple, with a url like jennydesigns or something (i bet that's taken rn, i havent checked) and her theme would be one of those themes that allows for u to have big images. she would probably post vents in the same way serena does, tag them #personal or #rambles, and have that neat code that allows for the tag to be filtered out whenever anyone views her page on desktop, you know?

i think eric would not have anything specific that he posts. he would just reblog random things - memes, things he finds interesting, jenny's original posts, stuff serena tags him in, cat videos, lgbtq+ positivity, etc. he'd try and stay out of drama (i think he'd turn anon off eventually.) he’d also post a lot of music reblogs or links, i feel?

vanessa's main blog would be one where she posts her own photos and films. because she's professional about it, it'd probably just be @ vanessaabrams. she'd have a sideblog specifically for reblogging other people’s work because she wants to support other artists, and it would be vanessareblogs or something like that, and her bio would mention “main tumblr @ vanessaabrams”. she’d be much adored in the photo/film community and just in general, because she’s one of the few people who hypes up other creators all the time and leaves nice comments in tags and all that. every now and then serena reblogs vanessa’s photography onto her blog and it almost always blows up, but vanessa doesn’t mind. i don’t think vanessa would have a vent blog or even a personal tag, she gives me big ‘i wanna keep my business totally off the net’ kind of vibes.

nate’s blog would be a lot like serena’s except, uh, more openly wanderlusty i think. a LOT of ocean reblogs. every now and then he reblogs keroauc quotes from dan which the girls find extremely hilarious. he talks a lot about sailing and gets a lot of sailing anons. he’d reblog a lot of positivity (mostly because he knows his friends are following him and he wants to brighten up their dash.) dan and vanessa jokingly dm him weed aesthetic posts all the time, but every time they do he reblogs and tags it ‘sent to me’ or somehting like that, and they cant decide whether to be flattered or embarrased. i think nate would also attract a lot of anons who ask for advice and it is something he never expected people coming to him for, but he definitely listens and shares whatever he’s got to say all the same. he’s this blog who should be weirdly niche but everyone sort of knows him and likes him.

saving the best for the last, lol. i have SO many thoughts about blair’s tumblrs.

i think she’d have a main tumblr that’s solely for classic film stuff (audrey! and more) and that’d be @ blairwaldorf, because, well, duh. i think she’d pay for a tumblr theme and get one of those really fancy and cute ones, like a floralcodes ms paint theme. i think she’d also have a sideblog that’s less serious, where she’d reblog things from tv shows, reblog things serena or nate have tagged her in, write her own meta for fandoms she’s in, just generally be a multifandom mess with a #personal tag but nothing too personal. it would still be classy, because she’s blair, but on this blog, she’s just a girl having fun.

and then she’d have a THIRD blog, a sideblog that doubles up as a vent blog. and this one isn’t linked to her other two in an obvious way, nobody knows it’s her, etc. on here she’d probably post a lot about her ed (but i think in a ‘i am struggling and i want to bitch’ way, not in a thinspo way - that’s a whole conversation i have no spoons for, so let’s not go there), she’d post about her insecurities and worries but it would be extremely untraceable. she’d have a fancy theme on this one too, despite it being a vent blog.

hm. now im thinking of the potential of like. dan and blair interacting super frequently on their vent blogs and neither of them knowing it’s the other person!

#meta #this was fun! thanks for the ask #i was initally gonna edit graphics #who knows i still may #but i realised that would take WAYYY too long #so have my words instead #anon #tumblr au #so i can find later if i need it

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orbitariums · 4 years

Text

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟒)

part three

note - i wanna thank everyone for reading once again! i'm currently in the process of writing imagines, those will be posted throughout the week, i don't want to clog up my blog bc i want y'all to see this chapter!

this one switches pov a lil more frequently, so bear with me <3 also not as smutty as other chapters, this is more of an emotionally-charged chapter!!! still a teensy bit smutty thooo. i want to make it clear that while this fic is definitely rooted in smut & sex & sex work, it is not porn without plot & will not ONLY be smut as i put effort and time into plot development / character development! i'm sure y'all know that tho. there will be conflict, there will be plot!!! i feel like that's clear already but there's discourse on smut happening rn and i wanna voice myself! omg anyways luv y'all enjoy the reaaad <3

new taglist!

playlist

word count - 8.3k

warnings - age gap, sex work, smut, vibrator, ANGSTYYY like hella dramatic, dirty talk

That slight shift that you and Steve both felt, that happiness that you realized came from talking to one another, only lasted so long... for you. You could hardly sit in your feelings about your situation with Steve before another thing that occupied all your time came crashing down upon you. Except this time, the thing brought you no such happiness or curiosity.

You had spent almost your entire senior year working on a special lab project about drought tolerant plants in Southern California where you lived and went to school, and your professor was making completing your project incredibly hard for you. And you felt incredibly stressed out about the entire situation - not only was the project necessary to graduate, but it was your heart and soul for the past year. Now, your professor was basically saying it was "ineligible."

"Ineligible?" Aaliyah repeated after you, after you told her what your professor had said.

"Whatever the hell that means," you huffed as you power walked down the street, hand in hand with Aaliyah, your free hand holding a coffee.

"That's so fucking annoying, holy shit," Aaliyah pressed a hand to her forehead. "He had the whole year to talk to you about changing your topic and...”

"And he never did," you sighed, frowning. You settled down onto a bench where the two of you sat next to each other, staring out into the busy streets and sipping your iced coffees.

California was a beautiful place, and you were a native, you'd lived there all your life. You knew the ins and outs of your city, knew Southern California like it was your backbone. And you loved it here - loved the sun, the beaches, the way the people were either shady in the best way or incredibly friendly. You'd never really known any other place like you knew this place. You were just glad that if you had to be stressed, you could do so in California.

Aaliyah pouted, feeling for you. She placed her hand on your knee to be comforting,

"Babe..."

"It's okay," you sighed. You sucked it up, like always, because you had learned how to fend for yourself ever since you realized that depending on others could only lead to downfall. You would figure this out the same way you figured everything else out... on your own. You figured out your house on your own, your job, your finances.

"Is it, though?" Aaliyah pursed her lips and squinted at you. Despite how much you tried to fend for yourself, Aaliyah was always there for you. She was one of your biggest supporters.

"I'll just keep visiting during his office hours and work this out."

Aaliyah rolled her eyes,

"Men are so annoying, girl. You know what, he probably wants to fuck you. With your fine ass. That's why he's doing all this."

You chuckled, shaking your head and covering your mouth, trilling back in response,

"Okay girl, don't get too ahead of yourself."

"I'm serious! Men are evil. Oh, except your fave."

You made a face, nearly choking on your iced coffee. This was news to you,

"Who are we talking about?"

"You know," Aaliyah sang slightly, nudging you and leaning against your shoulder. "Mr. Won't Show His Face."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, but bit down on your straw with a knowing smile, eyes peeking out over the top of your shades. If you were being honest, this idea of Steve, whoever he really was, had been a fun thing to entertain during this period of stress. You'd been talking and engaging with him for two and a half weeks now, and the connection you two had was undeniable.

But you knew better - maybe he wasn't just another customer, because you could really talk to him and felt like he was real - then again, he was strictly a customer. You liked him, a lot, but you couldn't like him any more than you already did. That would be dangerous and silly, and create unrealistic expectations. It wasn't like you could go on dates or anything.

Still, talking to him (and performing for him) did help to distract you from your stress, at least for a small amount of time. Steve was becoming less shy, less inhibited. He cracked jokes and was starting to keep up with your innate sense of sexuality, starting to navigate you, find you the way a bee might find its nectar, hidden deep inside the curvatures of a flower.

If you were a flower, you'd probably be a sunflower - bright, yellow, almost always in a positive mood, or at least trying to keep yourself in a positive mood. More than that though, sunflowers were tall and looming - you felt like that represented your put togetherness and how hard you worked, how smart you were. Only sometimes it was hard to keep yourself up and tall, but you always did it, time and time again.

But when it came to Aaliyah's comments about Steve, she mostly just made you laugh.

"Haven't seen him yet, have you?" Aaliyah asked, raising her brows expectantly.

"No. And I'm fine with that. He's simply another very loyal customer who I happen to like."

"Hm," Aaliyah hummed, and you could tell her mind was up to something - some very wishful, and mischievous thinking.

"What are you up to?" you narrowed your eyes at her and glared at her, and she just shook her head with a lazy smile,

"Nothing. Just thinking that maybe it would be cool if he really was this really hot guy that you actually knew and he wasn't creepy and y'all... you know... started dating. Just to get your mind off a lot of crap. I know, I know, strictly against the rules, blah blah blah. No feelings for customers, it's basic shit. But in a perfect world..."

"I know," you sighed without thinking, sipping at your drink.

"You know?" Aaliyah questioned, surprised.

You shrugged,

"So I've thought about it. Except, you know, in a perfect world, I'd meet a guy like Steve in like, a farmer's market or something. Not on my shady ass cam shows."

Aaliyah snorted laughing, and at the sound of her laughter, you joined in.

You continued,

"I mean, not Steve exactly, because that would be weird. I just mean, a guy like Steve."

"You mean a guy who makes you feel the same way he makes you feel," Aaliyah corrected you, and you glared at her again, pushing her gently.

"Don't push it," you teased, but you meant it - you might have liked Steve, but that was all there was to it - you liked him, he was a distraction. And maybe even that was too much.

✺ ✺ ✺

As for Steve, he thoroughly enjoyed his time with you. He thought constantly about how you made him feel, how much he looked forward to talking to you. How everyday, his worry about your situation becoming more serious dissipated slowly. He could feel himself easing into you, everything that made up this character you created called Moonrose. Conversation seemed casual, like you knew each other in real life, it felt easy, and there was no pressure.

As for your connection, he had finally acknowledged that it was real, and more than either of you had wanted to realize at first. But now, there was no shame, no worry in acknowledging what the two of you had, because you were both smart enough to keep it at this level. It was like a shallow pool. There would be no drowning.

He mostly talked to Bucky about you when it came to the emotional aspect of it. He still feared that if he talked to Tony, it might come across as an issue, and might put a pause on what he had with you. But everyone noticed how different Steve was acting. Even without the phase he had gone through where he was sexually frustrated and angry, he still acted different.

Lighter on his feet, more smiley. And he was always on top of his work. You weren't distracting him from his duty, so that made the fact that he knew you had a unique connection with him more bearable. Because of you, he was learning to worry less. To have a little more fun.

It was a bright day that week, the sun filtering in through the large windows of the meeting room where everyone was gathered. Steve was engaging in some mindless conversation with Sam and Bucky in which they were debating whether or not pineapple belonged on pizza.

"No. I'm not sure why everyone keeps trying to put all these twists on pizza. It's pizza," Bucky scoffed, Sam rolling his eyes as a result.

"You're just closed off. With your old ass," Sam retorted, and Steve made a face. Sam raised his hands up in surrender. "You know what I mean. What about you Steve?"

Honestly, Steve had never even tried pineapple on pizza and he didn't understand why there was such a big fuss about the banal question.

"I don't really have an opinion," he shrugged, not expecting Sam and Bucky to start clamoring over him and trying to force him to pick a side.

Before he even got to grasp the situation, he felt Natasha patting his shoulder,

"Hey, mind if I use your laptop? Mine's gone haywire, don't really feel like messing with it right now."

"Yeah," Steve agreed without a second thought, setting his laptop on the table and letting Natasha handle it- she was better with tech stuff than he ever was.

Natasha would use his laptop to showcase some data and start off their morning. It seemed innocent enough —a simple, barely impacting sacrifice. But Steve clearly hadn't thought everything through, because the moment Natasha logged in and hooked up Steve's computer to the holographic projector, more than just data appeared on the screen.

In fact, a whole array of women, all of them engaging in various sexual acts or preparing themselves to, showed up on the screen. And at the top, where the browser was, were the words "girlsonfilm.com."

Steve hadn't noticed all the clamor, too busy thinking (thoughts of you and thoughts of work), until Bucky called it to his attention.

"Steve," he nudged him frantically, his voice a loud whisper.

When Steve looked up at the screen, his face couldn't have gone any redder. He hadn't thought about this at all, and he had clearly forgotten to close out his browser. His heart sunk all the way to his stomach - because it wasn't just Natasha seeing this, it was everybody. And that included Tony, who was glaring pointedly at Steve from the head of the table. Meanwhile, all the others were too busy heckling Natasha and making brash comments about what was appearing onscreen. To Steve's relief, your face didn't show up, but this just might have been worse than only your screen appearing.

"Woah, Nat, I didn't know you got down like that!" Sam hooted, cupping his mouth with his hands.

Natasha, though she was in shock as well, rolled her eyes,

"This is Steve's laptop."

Now a hush, then another clamor of confusion and heckling, all directed towards Steve. He couldn't recoil any more, feeling the pangs of embarrassment as his eyes flashed between every one of his teammates. He felt as if there were an asteroid approaching fast, and he was right where it would land, too slow to move out of its way.

"Steve, what do you know about 'girls on film'?" Sam nearly cackled, reading the name of the site.

Steve sighed deeply, locking eyes with Natasha as he mouthed "turn it off" to her.

"I am, I am," she ensured him, quickly disconnecting the laptop from the projection, unplugging completely.

A beat passed, everyone staring expectantly at Steve, who was staring down at the table, trying to process his own thoughts. Like for starters, why didn't he log out the last time, and why didn't he remember to log out? And then his mind went to deeper places. He hadn't been intentionally secretive with his actions, but he had been intentionally private. It had to do with his own growth, he was learning how to navigate a world that was new to him and somehow helping him at once. He didn't want to have to share this with everyone, it was nice having this to himself, he had no intentions of revealing what he had been doing in his past time that made him so happy.

One of the reasons he didn't want everyone to know about his situation was because he didn't want to have to be concerned with what everyone else might think. Because to begin with, being on a site for cam shows wasn't exactly everyone's idea of what Captain America might be up to these days.

It was a matter of his image, what values he was supposed to hold. This didn't exactly match, and Steve had just gotten over the idea that he was a bad, sneaky person because of what he chose to indulge in. At least here he knew it was ethical and not causing harm to you as a human being.

He also didn't want to have to deal with the insufferable questioning and teasing his team would put him through, or the judgment he thought they might put him through. He felt embarrassed, exposed, and like he had been ill prepared for a situation like this. He was just grateful they hadn't seen more, because that would've been a disaster. What they had seen was only at the surface level of what he'd been doing.

But his thinking was interrupted by Tony's voice, which broke through all the silence, and made Steve realize again the eyes that were on him.

"Well, jig's up," Tony sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Care to explain?"

Steve locked eyes with Tony, as if hopeful that he wouldn't have to, but he knew it was best for him to just spit it out. Tony shrugged apologetically, and Steve took in a deep sigh, looking around at everyone at the table.

"What was that?" Scott whimpered, probably the most distraught by what they had all seen.

Steve nodded solemnly and began to explain himself. He would tell the truth, but that didn't mean he had to tell them everything. You would be left out of this, if anything. He'd just explain to them that sometimes, duty calls - and sometimes, it's not at all work-related.

✺ ✺ ✺

It was just hours before your cam show when another disaster struck, the first one being the fact that your professor was giving you shit about your project. You were in the bathroom, getting ready for your show, fixing your hair up and doing your makeup, laying out an outfit, doing all the things you did to feel pretty before a show.

Your phone lay beside you on the bathroom table, pinging with messages every now and then. You ignored it, leaning closer into the mirror to get a look at your lipstick, dabbing your fingers into the pigment on your lips.

You smiled, feeling that gratifying sense of achievement. Despite what was going on with your professor, you felt like you were doing well in life. You usually had a positive mindset, enjoyed your work although you sometimes felt as if you were buried deep in all your occupations: student, office worker, cam girl, designer, young woman. Your life was never dull, and you wouldn't trade it for anything. Talking to Steve helped too, but it was more than that.

But that sense of satisfaction all seemed to dissolve when you looked down at your phone, and saw a text from an unsaved number, glaring bright on your glowing lock screen of you hiking with Aaliyah. Still, you recognized it immediately.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

I miss you. Text me back.

✺ ✺ ✺

Steve wasn't exactly keen on joining your live show today, but he did so anyway, because he still had time to himself despite the spiral of events that had happened earlier. There was nothing else to do, and he didn't want to miss out on you after attending almost all of your shows for the past almost three weeks. Didn't want to just leave unexpectedly.

It felt strange that he felt this tug of commitment, but he brushed it off. He was just fulfilling his needs, which should even be expected of him. He was stressed again, after being caught up like he was. And maybe that was all the more reason not to watch your show tonight, but he wouldn't devoid himself of the simple pleasures of life. He'd learned that lesson a while ago, from a special someone called Moonrose.

After everything transpired, he explained himself calmly to his team, slowly to ensure that they'd understand that this wasn't the beginning of a deviant phase, that he wasn't throwing away his work responsibilities to lurk on the NSFW side of the internet. Not that they ever thought that to begin with, they never questioned his abilities or his authority for a minute, not even in the midst of what they'd seen that had shocked them.

This was the product of Steve's own insecurities and his admittedly silly fear that he was somehow letting his team down. He told them that he was on the site, as recommended by Tony, to relieve some "frustration" that he felt he didn't have the time or the means to release in real life. He said that while it had helped him do that, he wasn't throwing away his responsibilities, nor was he dependent on the site or the things on it, or the people on it for that matter.

He knew that if they knew about you, all those private sessions, all those conversations you'd had, the connection you had built between the two of you, it might be a different story. But because they didn't, they appreciated his honesty. They were confused, it didn't seem like the kind of thing Steve would be into, and he ensured them that it was a shock to him as well.

But they didn't mind on the whole, it was just a shock to everyone at first. They didn't think it called for a meeting, thought it was almost humorous how serious Steve was being about such a trivial situation. Wanda had joked about how we've all been there, Thor denied ever having to do such a thing because: "I have all the romantic partners anyone could ask for. I could introduce you Steve, but these Asgardian women are fiery, far beyond anything I believe you could handle." In the end, Steve was relieved, felt like it didn't have the disastrous outcome he'd been expected.

But he could feel his guard slowly coming back up. That was a close call, and it was a little too close for comfort. He didn't want to disregard you, but he couldn't afford to sink further in, and get his team involved. He just didn't want to face the consequences he could imagine if they knew how much he decided to stick with you, how much you talked, how it was teetering off the range of normal customer to cam girl interaction.

It wasn't like he was careless when it came to his interactions with you, but he also didn't want his team to know about his business when it came to you. He didn't want them thinking he was engaging too much, didn't want it to get to the point where he was worrying again or felt like he needed to deny himself such wonderful feelings.

All these things were on his mind while he waited for your live show to start. When it did, and he saw your face, he felt a little bit alleviated. Just for now, he could have this fantasy to himself. If they knew about the site, so be it. At least he had you to himself.

"Hey guys," you mustered a smile, waving to the camera.

Unbeknownst to your viewers, you had spent the past few hours off camera panicking, on the verge of tears, calling Aaliyah frantically so she could help calm you down. That text from that mysterious unknown number had been from your ex's number. The same ex who made you fall into dependency patterns that you worked so hard to get out of, the one who made you feel like you had to work for his love. Like it wasn't something you deserved, just like anyone else.

You had worked so hard to finally wring out all the effects of him, all the bad habits you had fallen into because of him. That was part of the reason why you worked so hard. Not because you were actively avoiding him specifically, but because you were actively bettering yourself. You weren't looking for a relationship. But you knew that if you were in one now, the same things would never happen to you.

When you got that text, it triggered a flood of memories. Feelings you had to work to suppress and actually get over for months so you wouldn't fall back into the same desperate, needy patterns when it came to your relationships with people. All over a simple text from someone you hadn't heard from in almost a year. It hurt you how easy it was to get you to crack, even if you didn't spill out all the way. But on top of the added stress because of school, you were damn close.

You would do the show tonight, anyway. It helped you to escape, although Moonrose was a part of you, it didn't one hundred translate into real life. So in a way, this helped you escape real life. Just for a while. Just like Steve.

You grinned when you saw concerned comments from your watchers:

johnGuy182

Are you okay, moonrose? You seem a little sad.

zenongirl

Girl r u ok? i missed seeing your face!!!

"Guys, I'm okay," you grinned. And you actually felt better seeing comments from your supporters. It reminded you to cheer up - they were looking for a good show, not a sob story. You leaned back, revealing your stomach in the sheer, sparkly fringed bra you chose to wear (another piece you had designed by yourself). "It's been a looong day."

Steve watched silently, observing your behavior. He didn't notice drastic changes, but you did appear less chipper. Then again, he brushed it off. He didn't expect you to be smiley all the time, you were human too, and this was your work.

"But I'm okay," you reassured, giving that signature grin, genuine and charming and alluring. You were trying to gently distract yourself, get into your act. "I hope you're all just as lovely as I am. I have a special game for you today."

You directed your viewers to your spinning wheel, which you had been working on crafting that week for a game. You grinned as you spinned it. Each act on the wheel cost a certain amount of tokens, and by the end of the game you would garner a bunch of funds. The show went by relatively quickly as you played the game, eventually ending up completely naked.

As ordered by the spinning wheel, you were to use a vibrator. You held it against your clit at the highest setting as you watched the numbers of viewers and the tokens jump up, Steve watching as he stroked himself leisurely. Your legs shook as you restrained yourself from your orgasm so as to increase the length of your showtime, garner more coins to encourage you to come.

"Mm," you moaned, massaging the vibrator against your clit, getting wetter and slicker by the minute, sliding the toy between your folds. You laughed, breathless. "Fuck, this thing is so powerful. Someone make me come, please make me come. Just a few more tokens for me to come for you."

Steve was hesitant, but he decided to go ahead and give you the amount of tokens you needed. And when you heard the chime of the tokens being added to your account, and saw the name it was attached to, it was like a blast of euphoria. When your legs started to shake, when you started to moan and your stomach started to rise up and down, it was genuine. It was like you were back in a private room with him, although you weren't.

Your orgasm was blood-curdling in the best way, and you felt like you were releasing part of the stress of the past day, the past week. It didn't get any realer than this, once again you felt like he was really there to satisfy you.

"Oh!" you exclaimed, your mouth dropping open and your blood flowing, moaning. "Yes, Steve, I'm coming for you. Thank you for making me come, Steve!"

Steve had been stroking himself along with you as he watched, and only let himself come now that you had come, his cheeks heating up as he heard you moan his name, something he hadn't been expected. Something about you saying his name like that where everyone could hear, even though he enjoyed the intimacy of private rooms, felt victorious. It felt lewd, salacious, but he couldn't help but enjoy that aspect of it. He moaned through grit teeth while he came, stroking himself to completion.

You came down, thanking everyone for attending and ending the show. But it wasn't long after that you had requested Steve for a private chat. He accepted, because he had gotten used to you doing this a little more frequently. It didn't scare him any more, he just thought of it as making conversation, taking advantage of this connection you had with each other. So when you requested, who was he to say no.

When the chat log opened, you put on your best happy face for Steve, trying to conceal how fatigued this week, today in particular, had made you. But your tired, bleak voice gave it all away, buried deep beneath your smile,

"Hey, Steve."

Steve was surprised at the sound of your voice. Again, while he understood that you wouldn't be a happy go lucky fairy like personality all the time, he wasn't expecting this. You were smiling, but the weariness in your eyes was hard to miss. And your voice, which usually told light hearted tales, sounded worn down as if from tragedy. He was concerned, his eyebrows furrowed gently,

"Hi. How are you?"

"I'm good!" you exclaimed, trying your hardest to really sound "good."

But you were just tired. Tired and sad, and scared - scared of what the future had to hold. You were already dealing with school stress, and the text from your ex-boyfriend was like a bad omen, an anxiety-provoking assurance that things actually would not get better and they would in fact get progressively worse. You weren't even sure why you thought you should be talking to Steve if you were tired and just wanted to sleep off the weight of the week. It would be a weekend tomorrow, and one of your very rare days off.

Maybe you figured that you wanted to talk to him despite your fatigue, because conversation with Steve was a nice distraction. You had let yourself forget that this was still your job, and that you were too tired for anything sexual — you knew he liked talking to you, but you hadn't put into consideration the fact that he might request a sexual act from you. You would be burnt out if he did. The fact that you didn't think about that should've been telling, but your brain was too scattered to think straight.

Anyway, Steve called your bluff, and laughed quietly, his voice inquiring and pressing,

"How are you really?"

That was all it took to get a deep sigh to come from out of you, all it took to allow yourself to show your true feelings, at least the surface of them, what you felt comfortable showing a customer. You felt a sense of relief and gratefulness for Steve, like he was letting you breathe. And if anything, he especially wasn't enlisted to listen to your problems. But he wanted to, and for that you felt foolishly grateful.

Steve noted the deep sigh that came from out of you, and he frowned slightly. He could tell you had been holding this in for a while, and some part of him felt remorse for the fact that even though you clearly weren't in the right mindset, you went on and did your show anyway. He felt some guilt for being a part of the reason why you did your show.

You answered, allowing your voice to be as honest as possible.

"Honestly?" you chuckled a little, albeit bitterly. "I don't know if you really want to hear me rant to you."

Steve shook his head.

"Don't be silly," he grinned. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to."

You felt a warm rush in your chest from the reassurance, and the corner of your lip quirked up in a small smile, before you decided to dive in. You'd spare the emotional details, spare your private life. But it would be nice to talk to someone, just about the general things, right?

"Well, it's been a pretty stressful week, honestly. I mean, school's been the main source of my stress. My professor's such an asshole, he's basically been telling me my entire senior project, which I need to complete to graduate, needs to be redone? And I can't even fathom how I would have enough time to do that with like, two and a half months left of my senior year. I mean, he said I can keep most details, but I'd have to rework it, whatever that means."

You kept your emotions at bay, sighing in annoyance just at the story you told, because it really was irritating you. But then you felt deeper things, even more went into why you really were upset.

Steve nodded, just listening. He was prepared to offer advice, but in your situation, he thought that maybe just letting you rant would be best.

"That's gotta be annoying," he shook his head understandingly. "Whatever your project is, I'm sure it's wonderful. He shouldn't be forcing you to rework it or make any last minute changes."

"I know!" you nearly jumped up, feeling amped up now. "And it's just so fucking annoying because I work so hard and I'm really passionate about this project and it just feels like..."

It felt like you were about to overflow, like a pot of water that had been left on for too long. You were ranting almost uncontrollably now, maybe because of the fact that it was more than this that was tugging at you. Because you'd been carrying the weight of your life on your shoulders all the time, like Atlas carrying the sky, and it felt like that weight was finally starting to mean something.

Steve could see you were unraveling and he let you, he let you take the time you needed to feel everything you had been holding. If your connection was strong, it was at its strongest here. Sure, you and Steve chatted about a little bit of everything, even had deeper conversations here and there as the weeks went by. But you had yet to genuinely complain to him, because every time you spoke with him, you were happy go lucky Moonrose, with nothing to complain about to begin with. But now, you needed a release by any means, and you were just glad Steve was there for you, even if he wasn't really there. How unlike you to unfold in front of strangers.

Your breath stuttered as you took in a deep breath in a failed attempt to calm down, only further driving yourself into your rambling. You felt yourself tear up, your voice becoming watery as you continued,

"It just feels like all my work is turning to shit, and it's so fucking frustrating because I work so hard all the time, I do so much and I manage so much all the time."

The "hard work" you were talking about wasn't just school and work-related, it pertained to your journey, and how hard you had worked to be a better person. To support yourself. The emotions pent up inside of you, they were more than just being upset over a school project. The idea of someone toxic trying to re-enter your life, someone who had forced you to rework the entirety of your life, made you feel like you were on the verge of crashing. You knew better, but you didn't want to return to those dark days, where the light at the end of the winding tunnel that was your relationship seemed so far away. It was why you were so weary of relationships today. It was crazy how one person could change your life so easily.

Now you were crying, before you even noticed that you were crying. Tears just seemed to leak out of your eyes, sloshing wet and sudden against your cheeks and underneath your lashes. You wiped them away quickly with the back of your hand, frazzled at the fact that you were crying in front of a customer right now. Steve said he'd listen to you, he didn't say he'd watch you cry and be your therapist. You instantly regretted it, although you couldn't stop yourself, tears threatening to emerge again. If you were cracked before, you were spilling now.

Steve was surprised too, at the fact that you were crying. You appeared so put together to him, it was almost something he didn't expect from you. He was in shock at first, so much so that professionalism was not on his mind - it was an afterthought. Right now, instead of wondering if this was appropriate, he was occupied with you.

"I'm sorry," you murmured, but you still hadn't stopped, tears falling out as you blinked. Composure was nothing now, you were sobbing, your shoulders slumped and your head hung as you sniffled. Still you enforced control, wiping away every tear that fell with the back of your hand. "I'm really sorry, I don't mean to cry to you over this, that's so-"

Steve cut you off, shaking his head slowly,

"It's okay to cry, doll. We all have those days. I know better than anyone that we all have those days."

You mustered a smile, feeling cared for, feeling accounted for by someone who wasn't even obligated to have to see you like this. Still you shook your head, sniffling,

"I know. But it's-it's stupid, I shouldn't be crying in front of you."

"I'm not judging you," Steve said, so nonchalantly and firmly, so genuine that it almost scared you.

You blinked. He should've cared, and he should've judged you. To cry in front of Steve, a customer, was to imply he had some duty to comfort you when he probably just wanted a show. You knew that you didn't have to do anything you didn't want to, but even you had rules when it came to what your customers got to see, and to you, that meant they didn't have to deal with your blues.

"Really?"

"Really," he reassured you with a nod.

Was Steve scared that by giving you this reassurance, this entire situation could become deeper than either of you could handle? Yes. But did he let himself shut down because of those pervasive thoughts that he might get himself into trouble? No. He didn't see you as a liability right now. Right now, even though the situation was certainly questionable (and this was something he had no doubt about. When emotions get into the mix, things could get tricky- he knew this), he saw you as someone who desperately needed someone to talk to. Maybe it wasn't smart of you to make him that someone, but regardless, he was, and who was Steve Rogers not to listen to a person in need?

You blinked away the last of your tears and swallowed hard. You were making this choice consciously, to tell Steve what had really gotten you to your breaking point. And maybe telling him meant you had trust in him, maybe too much trust for someone who, while great, was still a customer. But you felt like there was nothing you could lose from telling him. Maybe you'd even feel better after the fact.

You looked down, picking at the body glitter on your arm that you had applied before the show. Your voice was considerably quieter now perhaps because you were looking back on the moment with a clear mind for the first time since it happened. You hadn't been thinking straight ever since you received the text just hours ago. Now your brain was a little quieter with the help of your tears and Steve's reassurance.

"I think that the stress of this school project is making me resent how hard I work for everything, just to be met with this kind of result, you know? And it's even worse when... things seem to be going backwards. You know, like when you make so much progress, moving on from things that don't serve you, and you've finally done it and you get to flourish in it and then, it just gets taken away from you. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but that's just how this feels."

Steve nodded, his jaw ticking as he let your words settle in. Somehow, although your situation was so different from his, he felt like your words perfectly described how he felt with the world sometimes. It was even part of the reason he'd held off on talking to you like this, held off on getting too involved. He too had made so much progress in this world, which took so much getting adjusted to in a way that absolutely nobody else could relate to.

It was a world that he didn't even know, a world that he had never been properly introduced to. He'd had to fend for himself. He did his healing on his own, just like you had. And yet sometimes it felt like he had no control, like the universe was going the opposite way of all his plans. Then he felt stupid for even having plans to begin with, because in life, making plans was like comedy for the gods.

There was a weird feeling in his chest and stomach, like he'd been stabbed with a gutting realization, and the knife was just turning inside of him, churning his insides. He began to feel a sense of unease, because this deep conversation was beginning to feel incredibly personal. Even though you were talking about your own situation, he couldn't help but think about how much he resonated, and the fact that he felt like he could relate to you on such a deep level scared him. This was more than the conversations you'd had before, more than the simple similarities you and Steve shared. This felt like a conversation that might be too telling for his good and your own.

He swallowed his words as he listened to you continue. You chose your words carefully, but you had shed yourself of your inhibitions when it came to being truthful.

"Earlier... I heard from someone I hadn't heard from in a long time. And it kind of pushed me over the edge," out of your mouth stumbled a laugh. You were calmer now, and looked up at the camera, Steve swallowing hard when you did so. It was all so real, just like it was when you touched yourself and moaned Steve's name. "I think it just made me feel all those things I just explained. Because I feel like I worked so hard to rid myself of this person and them trying to come back just feels like all the things I worked so hard on are going to unravel. Even though I know they aren't, it feels like a setback. And that was like, the icing on the cake to this already terrible day, I guess."

You let out a breathy laugh and smiled gently, shaking your head slowly.

"I normally wouldn't be telling this to a customer. But here we are. Again, I'm sorry... I feel like I shouldn't have said anything? Should I... have said anything?"

In the brief silence that followed your question, both you and Steve were thinking the same thing - were you going to regret this? Intimacy both physically and emotionally was good when you capped it at what you both knew to be appropriate. When it came to the physical aspects, you each let your fantasies unwind.

And on the emotional aspect, though you had both grown closer and more open, some things just didn't get touched upon. But now you had just cried over the screen, and spoke from the depths of your heart. It was scary to open up in such an uncertain situation where your own privacy was an aspect that got involved. There was no doubt that it was too much. It was just a question of whether the result would be negative.

Steve sighed deeply, a crease forming in his forehead as he furrowed his brows together, folding his arms over his chest.

"I don't know..." he trailed off, took a breath, a leap, his body practically lurching forward. "But... it can't be a bad thing that you feel comfortable talking to me about this, can it?"

And there it was, that glint of hope he was trying his hardest to conceal. That feeling he got when he got off that call with you, the one where you both started giving into those unspoken thoughts. That this couldn't be so bad, that you could enjoy each other's company without worrying.

You smiled gently,

"I guess. It does feel weird though, it's not something I normally do. It feels like something I shouldn't be doing."

You could hear Steve breathing in deeply, and for a moment, you imagined what he might look like, envisioning the outline of a troubled face, eyebrows knit together. You snapped back to reality and made a face, confused by your abrupt thoughts. You had long gotten over the very brief desire to see Steve's face- why was it coming back again?

"I'll be honest, same here," Steve agreed with your sentiments.

"Do you always feel like you have to restrain what you say when you talk to people? Or is it just with me?" you added that last part in a quiet voice, biting your lip.

Steve chuckled briefly,

"Are you asking me if I have trust issues? Because I'd tell you, but I'd have to trust you to do that."

You shook your head and laughed at Steve's stupid joke, and shrugged.

"I could say the same thing, I think. This person I heard from earlier is... I developed those trust issues because of them. Or, my already existent trust issues became worse. But what's funny about it is that this person was once someone that I loved," even as the words were coming out you questioned why you were letting them, why you were allowing yourself to be so truthful in a situation like this at a time when you were so vulnerable.

Steve didn't reply, again feeling that sick feeling in his stomach that stemmed from his fear. The fear that this conversation were too serious, fear surrounding the fact that he was able to relate so much to such a personal situation of yours.

You spoke again, daring to ask the question that felt like a final blow to Steve's stomach,

"Have you ever been in love, Steve?"

Now Steve knew he was in uncharted territory. Not because he feared you might try to exploit him, but because he was so struck by the fact that he had allowed himself to feel so safe with you and get so close to you. He was surprised at himself for letting you feel safe enough to have these kinds of conversations with him. It all felt like a mistake now. He wanted a way out, any way out. He knew if he even attempted to answer that question, he would be making a big mistake. He had shared some of his most intimate moments with you, but always keeping in mind a very sharp line he didn't want to be crossed.

And in his mind, he thought of the one love he'd had, the one love that hadn't been fulfilled because of the situation he had been thrown into, one he had never signed up for. He thought of how the things he cared most for in life had been discarded, how, like you, he felt like it had gone to shit. How sometimes, though he tried his best to be grateful and had taken that journey of self-healing just like you, it all felt like some sick joke.

Could he even call it love? He wasn't sure. And he wasn't going to answer. He wasn't going to answer at all, because he wouldn't be talking to you again. There would be no chance for this dilemma to resurface, not with you, not on this site. He made the decision with haste and a heavy heart - he was done here.

The discomfort was well evident in his voice, answering loud and clear, though his voice was morose and a bit closed off. You sensed the shift immediately.

"I... I can't talk about that right now. Listen, I have to go."

You felt a pang in your chest at the sudden switch in his demeanor, straightening up and trying not to frown. All this time you had been letting the words spill out, telling yourself not to worry so much, reassuring yourself it was okay to make your feelings known. Now it felt like you should've never said anything at all. You started to stammer.

"Oh, I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I was just... I feel like I got a little overwhelmed." You laughed nervously. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Steve felt his throat ran dry as he blinked, feeling emotions come up to surface that he wasn't quite familiar with. Maybe he was grieving in advance, regretting the decision he was making to no longer speak with you, regretting the fact that he was letting fear get in the way of what he wanted so badly to be a good thing.

"No, I'm sorry. I feel like I let things go too far," Steve apologized, but the apology felt more like an insult.

Was he implying that whatever this was, you couldn't handle it, and that it was his fault for somehow leading you on? You had both made the connection with each other, it was an equal effort. And why was he acting like the two of you communicating at all was somehow below him, somehow a risk? If anything, you were the one risking it just by talking to him the way you did. You were opening up to him.

You almost felt betrayed - you had convinced yourself that he wouldn't want to listen to your problems and you told yourself it wasn't his responsibility to listen. And then he listened anyway, told you that he wanted to hear it, and you cried to him. You felt like you had made so many unusual accommodations just for him to scare off like this. He was just another person you had expressed your feelings to, only to regret it in the end.

"Too far?" you questioned, furrowing your brows.

Steve swallowed. In your voice he could hear a hint of frustration, but even worse- hurt. It pained him more than he cared for you to know.

"I don't think we should talk anymore," he said instead.

"What?" you were taken by surprise. "Steve, I'm... I'm not understanding. I... I don't usually open up to people like this, I mean, I thought maybe it was fine here, because I feel like I know you. But you're still a stranger. I understand you're a customer but I thought we were talking, I thought we broke through that wall-"

"We did. And we shouldn't have," Steve said, his voice so calm and firm that it was almost cold.

By now you were just staring into the computer camera, as if you were looking at him and waiting for him to come to his senses. But as you did that, you slowly came to your own. Because you weren't looking at him. You were looking at a black screen with his voice behind it. You realized you hadn't known Steve, not enough to talk about these things. And just like him, you too were full of regret. You kept all those walls up for the sake of customer relations, only to put them down and be met with this disastrous result.

Steve almost couldn't bare to look at your face anymore. You were confused, hurt. He could tell you regretted the fact that you had opened up. He was hurt too, but he wouldn't show it, or let it overcome him to the point where your methods of communication with each other became something neither of you could control. Still, yes, he was hurt.

But he had been through plenty of hardships in life. What was one more, even if it shouldn't have come to this point anyway?

"I'm sorry, Moonrose. We can't. Goodbye."

Chat over.

#steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers reader insert #reader insert #smut #captain america civil war #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #captain america smut #captain america #girls on film #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel smut #marvel reader insert #steve rogers series #captain america series

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intoafandom · 3 years

Note

uhh do you like kevan miller? wasn't he the one who said "all lives matter"? LMAO it doesn't matter if he's a nice guy in the locker room. if he has problematic lines and political positions, that should be enough. please, educate yourself.

I know I always say that I will never post anything political on my blog, but I’m probably gunna have to make a post about millsy/kampfer/now freddy/hockey culture (just so my followers/mutuals know where i stand on this stuff so i never have to talk about it again lol. Cuz trust me its a whooole thing lol)

Ok so back to Miller. I think I’ve said this before (but on a small scale) that I haven’t been watching hockey for toooo long. I only started watching during the playoffs of the 2017-18 season when a game was just randomly on my tv cuz nothing else was on. Now i cant remember if he was actually playing during the like 5? games that I watched, especially since the only player I could remember was “Tuuk Arask” (which is what I seriously thought his name was lol). Either way, they got eliminated and for some reason I follow the team the entire summer and kept up with their preseason and everything. Which then lead into me watching the amazing 2018-19 season and so on to this day. And again I cant remember if miller was actually playing during that year cuz i only got reeeeally into it on like march 2019. But what I do remember, is that I started watching older games on YouTube in like October of 2018. They weren’t playing yet and theres only so many preseason games and i wanted more hockey as a new fan. So i watched ton of games aaaall the time and miller was a BEAST. And again, as a new fan at this time, i knew literally nothing about the game or players numbers or even their NAMES. Like for context, im a SERIOUS patriots fan, and even I cant name everyone on the team plus their numbers like i can now with the bruins. But anyways, not knowing anything, i just watched for the score + the crazy hits and fights that would happen cuz that’s what draws your attention as a new fan you know? I wasn’t watching for the players, I was watching for the HOCKEY aspect. I wanted to learn and experience what it was. So after watching a ton of older games and getting halfway through the 2018-19 season, I started to actually care about the players and figure out who they actually were as well as their numbers. And i got obsessed with figuring out who they all were and I got so proud of myself for finally being able to identify them on the ice without seeing their faces on the bench. So miller was a part of that group. He was on the roster when i made that little mission for myself. I also have to point out that the 2018-19 season his VERY special for me because its the first time I actually watched an entire season of hockey. I got to experience literally everything except the cup. I got every round of the playoffs, the outdoor new years game, pre season in china, learning the actual GAME etc. The roster is very special to me because they were the first hockey team I ever came to love. Kevan Miller was a part of that team. Like Ryan Donato and JFK and Bjorkie and MoJo etc. I LOVE the people on that roster for something more than just hockey. Its hard for me to explain because it’s a very special thing that I’ve never actually talked about or said out loud and im not going to get entirely into it rn cuz I’ll probably make another post about it with all of the other stuff i said. But basically its pretty much impossible for me to hate the people that were on that specific roster. That’s one of the reasons why I will always like Millsy. Among other reasons as well.

I like that he’s tough as nail and that he isn’t scared of anything or anyone. I like how much of a nice guy he is in the locker room. I think it was pasta? in his recent spittin chiclets interview, (it may have actually been cmac. I cant remember) but one of them mentioned how because of Millsy’s rehab and covid, it was super hard to actually SEE him. Like he was never around. And everyone would get so excited to see him whenever he was supposed to come back, only to get super sad when he wasn’t able to make it due to more surgeries etc. The guys know him the best and if they can get past his political opinions and still love him than that HAS to count for something right? I know Kevan Miller as a pretty great player who’s tough as nails and always stands up for his teammates. He never gives up and battles back. He seems like a great dad and his daughter is adorable for an added bonus lol. I’m not getting into my political opinions and whether or not I agree with his. And honestly I don’t really care about his. I follow him on insta, as i do with every single bruin since the 2018-19 season, and ik the type of stuff he posts. He doesn’t really post a lot of political stuff. He only really does on his story and even then its not that often. Ik a lot of liberals will be like “well if he supports this thing then everything else is bad and i cant support him” I’m not like that. One “bad” thing that they like or one “bad” opinion is not a enough for me to think he’s a bad person. Especially when you consider everything else about him.

Please do not tell to “educate myself.” I like Kevan Miller for many reasons. I know his political views and the stuff he stands for. It’s not that I dont care, it’s that i dont think his political views matter enough when I judge his character. Political views aren’t super important to me and i dont really care to take them into consideration when judging if I like a person or not. Miller can support trump if he wants to or whatever. Its not that I like him because he likes trump, i like him cuz he’s not afraid to say he likes trump. He’s HONEST which not many people nowadays can say. I knew what I was getting myself into when i said i like miller since most of bruinsblr hates him. But im not going to let a group of people decide who I should and shouldn’t like or why I shouldn’t like a person. I wanna decide for myself, even if others get upset by my decisions.

I’ll make a different post explaining everything better.

#boston bruins #bruins #kevan miller #sorry for the rant

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ilusionis · 4 years

Text

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: vinn (or ila, for close friends) Age: 22 Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: aizen sosuke on here, askin nakk ke vaar (@ levaer) and lille barro (@ firstritter, sideblog) Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): all of them actually. Current Fandom(s): bleach. Fandom(s) you have an AU for: none. i’ve been debating about making a modern au but i wouldn’t be sure what to explore in it. within the context of bleach, though, i’m very interested in developing a bunch of AUs. My language(s): i’m only confident in writing in italian or english. Themes I’m interested in for rp: Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: none.

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?: YES / NO only by Mutuals?: YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?: YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?: 24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?: IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting: if you want to plot, it would be best to send me an IM and ask me, then we can definitely move to discord if you’d rather. it’s possible to approach me for rp without plotting first, best way would be to send me a meme when i reblog them or simply an ic ask, which i will answer, while memes might get lost. ic asks are good ice-breakers, we can continue plotting from there.

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner: i need my partners to be as interested in our plot as i am. it would be great if you already have an idea, but it’s still good if you don’t, i get that coming up with ideas can be hard sometimes; mostly, i require honesty. you can definitely tell me that you got no ideas and i will do my best to help, ask questions, try to spark something. i do require the feeling of having that commitment reciprocated.

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?: i tend to straight up drop the conversation lmao. no hard feelings, but if i get the feeling you’re not interested, i will take my distance - i won’t waste my energy on a plot if my partner doesn’t share my enthusiasm. still, you can always approach me again, if you’re feeling up to it / have new ideas / whatever. nice thing of online convos is that they don’t have an expiration date lol.

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?: i always ask if they got any ideas to begin with. if my partner already knows, more or less, what kind of dynamic they wanna build with my character(s), that makes it infinitely easier to build something meaningful. it’s still fine if they don’t, i will usually ask a lot of questions regarding their muse’s opinions / feelings / etc., and try to navigate from there. a question i usually ask is: is there any aspect of your muse you’d like to explore? i think that’s a pivotal point in any interaction.

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if they feel like telling me, why not. but usually, i don’t warn when i drop a thread, so it’s not expected of my partners ever. - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?: nothing in particular tbh. they can tell me or approach me to start a new thread if they wish to, but it’s not required.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?: i might lose interest in a thread, especially if i feel like it’s going nowhere or if the inspiration for it simply doesn’t come. it’s never happened so far that i had to drop a thread because it was making me uncomfortable, but that could still be a reason for me to. in general, though, i would approach my partner in that case. - Will you tell your partner?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you? YES / NO. - And why?: absolutely. i’d rather avoid awkward situations or misunderstandings of any kind; if something’s up, tell me. i also like to communicate with my writing partners (be it in the tags of our threads or in IMs), makes me feel like the enthusiasm is not one-sided and i find it generally pleasant. - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?: sure. we gotta stay polite, but honest. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way? YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?: to have fun, to cultivate my writing skills and my english, and to explore my favorite characters.

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios: i want to develop aizen’s wandenreich verse, because i’m deep in quincy hell and i think his dynamics with quincy muses could be super interesting. anything involving the intricacies of bleach politics is super interesting to me, be it with aizen or with my two quincy muses - who, btw, are also good to explore dynamics between quincies / their culture / relationships etc.

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore: i won’t write anything pertaining to sexual assault.

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: it’s gotten difficult to work with starters such as “you summoned me / do you need anything / did you call for me” etc. i used to receive that kind of starters all the time with aizen, and i can’t come up with something new every damn time. i also have a hard time working with starters / replies that already feel like a closed conversation and don’t give me anything to reply to.

What type of characters catch your interest the most?: i’m not sure i have a type. aizen is pretty much an exception, the only example of an already well-built character i write, since i tend to gravitate around minor ones that don’t have much material and that i can work on and expand without being affected by the fandom’s opinion or whatever. somehow i always tend to rp tall guys-

What type of characters catch your interest the least?: children and teenagers don’t interest me for the most part. characters who don’t have a shred of an opinion or can’t offer any interesting conflicts. overly friendly, mushy, affectionate and flowery characters are really not my cup of tea either.

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?: oh god i have no idea. i’m very laid-back, i guess. i’ll never pressure my partners for replies, i don’t think i’m owed a reply in the first place because we all have lives offline, so i’ll never take it to heart if a partner drops a thread. if i really feel like our roleplaying styles don’t mesh, it will be at my own discretion to do something about it. another strong aspect i have ....... i think i have a decent grasp on all my muses? especially aizen. of course ur free to disagree lol. also, lately i’ve been p active, so that’s it.

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: i’m really slow. i might speed up for my closest friends, with whom i plot / rp regularly, but usually i take quite some time to reply to random unplotted threads. i probably have a thousand other flaws as a rper, but this is the biggest one that comes to my mind rn.

Do you rp smut?: YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?: YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?: i don’t write detailed sex scenes. sorry lmao they’re just not interesting to me. however, i’m super-ok with writing anything around it, like intimate scenes etc. in fact i find it somewhat soothing. - Anything you would not want to rp there?: the nitty-gritty part is already a no, but i guess also sexual violence and shit like that. it’s a no.

Are ships important to you?: YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?: YES / NO. Do you use read more?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?: all my ships are with snow 8′) and ur never bored with her. in general, i love being able to explore the muses’ relationships, their conflicts and their peaceful moments, especially in relation to canon events! - What is your smut tag?: nsfw / ........ my n*sfw posts are rare anyway.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: to an extent, i prefer pre-est relationships to first meetings - which they can get a bit dull after some time. i’m ok with mostly anything, and only more selective when it comes to relationships that might severely alter my muse’s canon / past / overall character.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?: not to stroke my own feathers but aizen offers a perfect chance at character development to any and all bleach characters. he’s the main villain, he holds some wild opinions, and whether you agree or disagree with him, he leaves no one indifferent. aizen is the main cornerstone of bleach, and if you want your muse to questions themselves and the system / world around them, interacting with him is the best way to start. also, aizen interacted with a fuckton of people, knows practically everything there is to know, is responsible for significant amount of canon events, so you see ... whatever character you write, aizen has the full potential to be extremely relevant in the course of their development.

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?: children, ordinary low-ranked shinigami (i find it hard when it’s out of the blue, even in aizen’s captain and lieutenant verses ... because interactions would likely be only work-related, and won’t go far), characters whose personalities really have nothing to do with aizen. unfortunately, he’s not my easiest muse, and i don’t want to force interactions with him. - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?: characters who have opinions, some political involvement, in general characters with whom aizen had a dynamic in canon.

- What interests your Muse(s) in general: reading, calligraphy, philosophy (especially in-world philosophy), science (again, mostly related to the specificity of the bleach universe), the very careful crafting of his plan- - What do they desire, is their goal?: kill the soul king and take its place, destroy the institutions of soul society, subdue them. and then rule, as the soul king never did before. - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?: the idiosyncracies in their behavior, the particularities, their possible weaknesses. - What do they value in a person?: very little, usually. he may appreciate a resolute personality, strength, and intelligence. - What themes do they like talking about?: speaking mostly of mundane talks, he likes conversing about his interests. it takes a lot for him to share any personal information, though. - Which themes bore them?: anything about the greater good, friendship, love, very human topics.

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?: seeing the soul king, in all things like a ghost stalking his dreams, and well ... spending his early life in rukongai as a whole. being forced to consume other souls in order to survive. the first times his reiatsu killed anyone who tried to get near him. - What could possibly trigger them?: it’s rare that he will outwardly show signs of distress, i’d say almost impossible. the few times the soul king still appears in his mind, greatly upsets him though. - What could set them off, enrage them?: the soul king gets him particularly heated. urahara, as we witnessed. after his defeat, ichigo, to an extent. - What could lead to an instant kill?: kubo was a coward who didn’t dare let him kill any relevant character, but actually aizen kills very liberally.

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?: the soul king, urahara. he has a strong disdain for yamamoto, and that joke of C46. - Is there someone /-thing they love?: himself. tousen

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: he’s only really easy to approach for bleach characters, who, depending on who they are, have different eligible verses to further facilitate the interaction. humans / powerless bleach characters can’t really interact with him tho. - Where are they usually to find?: soul society or hueco mundo. i have a verse set in the wandenreich.

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?: aizen is not a particularly easy muse, but it’s part of his overall mosaic to be somewhat unapproachable and distant. i’m not out to make him someone he is not, so forgive me in advance if plotting with me turns out to be difficult in a way or another. he’s very dear to me, and i try my best to do him justice! while my main headcanons may not affect our interactions specifically, i still ask my partners to look them up (they’re linked in my about page) because they’re essential to my portrayal and it makes me happy to have them acknowledged. i think that’s all lmao. come visit me over at my quincy boys too.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @skyvar I DID IT AT LAST. Tagging: i don’t know who has been tagged so, you know what to do.

#ooc.#whew #this took forever

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dimancheetoile · 4 years

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content warning: this is a rant. it is very angry, extremely emotional, and weighted by su*cidal ideation. it is none of your responsibility to read this, and to do so should be an active choice because i refuse to harm any of you by accident. the reason this is even a thing is because i feel terrifyingly alone and whether or not someone reads it is almost irrelevant, because what i’m desperately seeking by writing this is to feel less alone in the way social media can sometimes help with

at this point i feel like this blog has become a diary of how shitty of a person my father is. the purpose was never to document this in any reliable way or anything, but since he’s been for the past ten years one of, if not on some occasions, the main reason for my mental health being as bad as it is. like, to a point that i’m not even sure how i’m alive anymore given the dephts of absolute despair he’s pushed me into that led to self-harm and serious consideration to end my life just to escape another day with him. so you can imagine the joy i’ve been living the past month and a half because we are quarantined together, in an isolated location, and i have seen no one but him since the beginning of march. my mental health has taken a deep dive for the worst and at this point, i can safely say i’ve reached the bottom and started digging about two weeks ago. now clearly, today is a breaking point. in the space of a few hours, i had two panic attacks, been sobbing for chunks of twenty minutes and struggling to calm down in between just so i don’t go straight into another panic attack and i’ve managed to stay away from the means of hurting myself but i know by the time i go to sleep in a coupe hours, i won’t be as successful because i need a way to cope with this shit and right now, i have none. i’m alone. i’m so, so desperately alone, i have no one to talk to (who is near me i mean, because i have dear people online, but they’re too far away to help in any meaningful way, plus everyone is having a shit time and i’m really not worth plaguing their day with my problems right now when it’s all the same for everyone). we’ve been quarantined for close to two months without seeing anyone, so we’re certain we’re not sick. we’re out of money because neither of us can work. we don’t even have enough for food and we need to go to the store tomorrow because we have nothing left in the fridge. i don’t know how we’re going to figure this out because i’m not making money online rn (which, fair, no one has money for commissions atm, it’s not like i don’t get it, but it really fucking sucks). i can’t go see my mother or my sister who are togather because my step-father’s mom lives with them and they’re afraid i’ll give it to her (no matter that i’m clearly not sick, case in point two-month quarantine). i’ve been suffering through the constant emotional abuse that is livign with my father in the hopes of either going to my mom or just waiting this whole thing out. except my father has decided this afternoon that FUCK EVERYTHING I GUESS, fuck the quarantine, fuck the two months, fuck that we’re not sick, fuck my health because, BY THE WAY, i take really heavy medication and there’s good reason to believe it has significantly lowered my immune system so good chance that if i catch it, i’ll have life-long consequences to my body or just die. so FUCK ME i guess, because this asshole decided you know what, i miss my girl, LET’S SPEND THE NIGHT AT HERS!!! she’s a FUCKING JOURNALIST! she has a free pass to walk around to do her job, AND HE’S GOING TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN HER FUCKING BED. but it’s his right, yeah? no problem there, he makes his stupid fucking decisions if he wants, let him live outside of the law if he doesn’t give a shit, but HAVE HIM STAY THE FUCK THERE. but nooooo mr. i don’t fucking care about anything but my own ass WANTS TO COME BACK HERE TOMORROW. SO FUCK ME, RIGHT? fuck the last two months of being careful, of me putting on masks and washing hands and doing my best to keep our home healthy, because he’s HORNY I GUESS. FUCK THE WEEKS OF EMOTIONAL PAIN, RIGHT? who cares that i’m having the worst time of my life, that i’m considering suicide every two fucking days, right?? who gvies a shit? i guess i should just kill myself right there, hum, since apparently we don’t give a shit if i catch my death? so let’s just do everyone a favour and quickened the fucking process. i don’t understand. i’m just... i don’t get it. why can’t i be happy and safe for one fucking minute. what have i done to deserve the last ten years of my fucking life, seriously. so thanks dad, i guess. thanks for making me feel like a worthless piece of shit just because you wanted some. guess we don’t care if i die anymore, hum?

#mako talks #rant #tw sucidal thoughts #coronavirus #quarantine

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tech-land · 2 years

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WELCOME!

Welcome to TechLand! I’ll be your host, Hale, and I figured it was probably a good idea to give you a little bit of background about me and why I started this blog and what you can expect.

But, prior to you clicking the read more link below, a quick disclaimer: some of these topics are happy. Some are sad. Some are weird or uncomfortable but they are the Job. Mind your own triggers before entering but I’ll do my best to tag things as we go along and, as always, the ask button is available to you (except for medical questions - I’ll not be answering those ever).

So I’m Hale as I said above and I’m a Veterinary Technician and have been one since I was sixteen (over fifteen years now - yikes I’m old). I’m also a Social Media Manager for my clinic and a Creative Writer on my down time.

What is a Vet Tech you ask? Let me tell you!

Like human RN’s, we are licensed professionals that have pursued some form of higher education on our quest to take care of animals. Unlike human RN’s who (generally but not always) have a specialty, we don’t. I am your intake nurse. Your anesthesiologist. Your pharmacist. Your scrub nurse. Your surgical assistant. Your triage nurse. Your ICU technician. Your radiologist. And so on and so forth. It’s a big job but it’s one that I, and just about everyone else in my field, loves!

I’m somewhat uniquely qualified because I have had the opportunity to work in many different sectors of animal medicine. I’ve worked at a full service, 24/7/365 hospital and boarding facility. I’ve worked in animal rescue and shelter medicine. I’ve worked in high volume spay and neuter and wellness clinics. I’ve worked with zoo and exotic animals. And I’ve worked in ER/ICU.

I believe in having a well rounded education (which is just a fancy way of saying I like bouncing around like a ping pong ball because I like learning as much as humanly possible).

Now that you know me, let me introduce this blog by telling you what it ISN’T.

This isn’t a place for you to get free medical advice. Full stop. Will I be talking about broad stroke medical things like spay/neuter and heartworm prevention and proper nutrition? Yes. Will I make recommendations for your specific pet? No. Why? Well I’m legally not allowed to first of all but I also don’t know your animal. You should always consult with your Pet’s doctor and listen to their advice and not the advice of people on the internet.

This blog isn’t a place for me to tear down my clients who I love dearly. Will I be telling some ‘Karen’ stories for education purposes? Yes. Will names and facts be censored or changed? Yes. Is there a HIPAA for animal medicine that prevents me from telling you this? No. No there isn’t. But, for liability purposes, nothing posted on my page is based on real events or patients. It’s all fiction.

But what IS this blog?

This blog is a place for networking with other like minded Vet Profs who have their own stories to tell or questions to ask. Hi Vet Friends! Nice to meet you!

This blog is a place for those curious about the ‘behind the scenes’ aspect of VetMed. Hi to you too! We hope that you learn a few things and are entertained by our crazy experiences.

This blog is also a place to discuss serious matters. The veterinary profession as a whole has the 4th highest rate of suicide in the United States. Some of our cases don’t end well. Some things we will carry with us forever. It’s okay and valid to discuss these matters. I am a listening ear and always available for anyone who needs to talk. Not One More Vet (NOMV) is also an excellent resource for anyone who wants to help or needs help!

Any questions, concerns, stories or moans of agony can be directed to my ask box. I look forward to talking with you!

#introductory post #pets #animals #vetlife #vet med #vet tech

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thetruthlsoutthere · 6 years

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Recent Weird Experiences

1) 11/10/2018, I don't know if it could be weird or doctor who related idk but around 8:30ish to 9, when I was doing something at work? One of the outside work lights was flickering but the one on the other side wasn't. The lights are white but maybe due to the darkness too, it could have some blue tint? idk.other than that, 11/11, that's tomorrow, I work it. I wonder what could happen if something will? also if anything else weird happened, on the way somewhere before work today, I heard the clatter of rock {s} against the sidewalk pavement? Maybe that could be me but I don't think so bc I would have felt it or seen rocks? but I didn't. I don't know. Also, ive always felt watched... if anything happened today, I was reading a doctor who fanfic and felt like I was being watched as I cried.

2) so two really weird things happened today, wowza. 11/12/2018 . First , it was at like around 2:10 / 2:15 . I was putting coffee into the microwave, let it go down to zero and here is the weird things about it: It should beep when its done but it didn't. If you don't grab it, it occasionally beeps. But it didn't at all and when I go into the kitchen to look at it, the word End was flashing with its yellow greenish color. My mom was on the couch and obviously animals don't act like humans to mess with objects how humans use them. The second thing which was around a half hour ago: around 6 ish for a little bit, I heard noises all around the outside of the house like someone or whoever or whatever was outside. I look out into the dark and didn't see anyone/felt watched, Yikes.

3) ok so it's 11/13/2018 and it is 11:44 rn and not even a minute or two ago, the glass door made a sound like It was being opened and then closed. I get up, no one is there when I look out the blinds.I open the door and look outside, I don't see anyone there. I check to see other things to see if maybe it was just the wind. Nope, nothing was blowing. uhm??? and the thing with the lights, glowing orange with the face and little figures? I saw it again last night on around late 11:40 something to 11:50? I remember it happening because I was still awake by 11:59 midnight trying to fall asleep. Except it was just one light and it wasn't moving, the orange light to the figure wearing red and one little figure. I felt like I was noticed for seeing but like, I was in my room, I didn't go outside because well, I had to sleep and it was late and ... etc, yeah {happened, 11/6/2018}

4) yeah and I was thinking about my fandoms today and I was half serious half joking that like if I saw anyone from my fandoms, I would have left my work place today and not even came in, Saying if there was a sign then I saw a hand move upward in a car right outside the window not far from me right after I said that?? but like, I felt watched and then they drove past the place the other way and away. But like what if it was just normal random humans? idk because 'signs' it was happening twice but like if its just a hand moving and you don't know who the person is, idk ugh, It was around 3:30/3;40 something today of 11/14/2018

5) {11/16/2018} also something huge happened this morning that was either person or persons or entities but this never happened before. My moms boyfriend came over to the house last night and this morning around 10-ish-11 maybe, I hadn't checked the time but it was this morning so that is an estimate because I remember checking the clock when it was around 1 ish and time had passed by a bit since it happened BUT ANYWAY, my mom and her boyfriend were going to talk up at the corner before he left and like though they said they were only going to be a few minutes, apparently they were gone for at least 15 minutes and I know if they came back earlier, they would talk when I asked, {while they were gone} if it was them BUT I heard the sound of the door moving, my computer chair moving aggressively and the sound of something hard being set down. Wtf? and I heard thud like sounds in the bathroom while I was taking a bath, the cat was specifically not in there to do it because the door had been closed so like??? A/N: Felt like I would mention it because this is a blog now of not just experiences of tv shows/movies being real but paranormal, ufo/aliens, etc. And these are weird things.

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theangryjikooker · 2 years

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I really like your blog and I feel like maybe I can share an unpopular opinion with you? I’m feeling guilty about it cause I saw some jikookers saying smtg similar on some blogs and the answers made me feel guilty to even think that.. It is regarding the hate against Jimin these past days. I’m a very sensitive person, it breaks my heart to see the mean comments he’s receiving. And sometimes I wish the members would react.. this has been going on for years now and it’s radio silence from everybody and I guess answering is probably useless but.. idk, a part of myself has a hard time understanding why no one is saying anything. Are we sure it’s useless? And by saying something i mean clearly adressing to part of the fandom that is behaving that way and what they’re saying, not a vague general statement about cyber bullying. Do you think their silence is part of a strategy? I guess they have guidelines from the company regarding cyber harassment? It’s really hard for me to witness this because it reminds me when I was in high school, and a friend of mine was harassed by a group of girls. At first me and my other friend decided to ignore them and stick with our friend to protect her. But then they kept harassing her and we just couldn’t take it anymore and started to fight back (to the point that it ended up in a physical confrontation….. kids don’t do this it’s not a good idea… but I don’t regret stepping up for my friend…). I know the situation is very different, bts have millions of fans and followers, they’re grown adults, and cyber harassment is different than real life one and really hard to get rid of but this whole situation makes me sad and it’s hard for me to understand how you could let it be without stepping up for your friend… People say even if the member said something it would be useless but I think maybe it would make the fandom at large react, when rn a lot of big ot7 accounts stay silent because they consider it as some sort of shipping war. Is it something that is mostly within the international part of the fandom and so maybe they don’t see the hate as much as we do? There were some very nasty comments on Weverse.. Idk maybe I’m just really naive but after years of ignoring the haters (which we all know who most of them are aka toxic taekook shippers) nothing has changed… I’m not saying by any means that it’s the members responsibility to take care of this mess (it’s more of the company’s responsibility and I know it’s not an easy task) and I’m not sharing them for choosing ignorance but sometimes I can’t help but think the silence is not the best strategy :( Sorry this ask is a mess my mind is all over the place but this situation really touches me a lot

Hey, anon, my heart goes out to you.

Don't feel guilty about expressing these things because it is legitimately painful to see toxic people/shippers attacking any of the members. It's not an unpopular opinion because at times there's this collective sense of helplessness among ARMY when shit like this happens.

The way I see it, though, is this: BTS are damned if they do, damned if they don't if any of them independently speak up for the others. I don't think not speaking up makes them uncaring or ignorant of what's going on, but there's just very little they can do as people of their status. As soon as they speak up for any one of them, there's going to be this expectation that they have to do so all the time, constantly, for all the members. That's unrealistic.

Sure, it should be the company's responsibility, but what really can they do? With the exception of threatening potential and real physical harm, a lot of these antis are shooting shit out of their mouths because they can. You have to imagine that BTS--and maybe some more than the others--receive a ton of hate just for their celebrity, and at some point those who are protecting them have to have an eye for when it's serious vs. when it's not. I think people underestimate their ability to know when to take it seriously (e.g., when Jimin, who arguably receives the most hate on average, did have a detailed death threat made against him that ended up being dealt with by increased security, etc.).

Also remember that for any hate members receive, a lot of their supporters will double down and try to drown them out. Toxic shippers/antis/solos/akgaes are incredibly vocal but make up a fraction of ARMY. There is as much a possibility that while the members know about the negative things being said about them, what is visible to them are mostly (if not all) positive. I'm not saying this to minimize the troubling nature of bullying, but there are a lot of moving parts about bullying celebrities that can't be oversimplified to, Why isn't anyone doing anything?

If you, as an ARMY, want to do anything, just keep reporting those assholes. Humans are designed to notice patterns easily; threats are a side effect of stardom, but the serious ones do stand out. If nothing else, have faith in the bodyguards for protecting the boys at all costs and whenever necessary, and more importantly, have faith in the boys for caring enough about each other to lend strength when one of them needs it most.

#TAJ asks #park jimin #jimin #bts fandom

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notlinny · 7 years

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rules: copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you.. and most importantly, have fun! tagged by @aristaresident. I tag @nothga and… that’s it.

a - age: 21 b - biggest fear: death c - current time: 6:51pm. except I was doing other things while I finished this and now it’s 7:33pm d - drink you last had: hot chocolate e - every day starts with: being woken by my cat meowing or stepping on me or something f - favorite song: my go-to answer is The Pearl by Emmylou Harris but I’m a tad obsessed with Cheap Trick rn so I’ll also mention He’s a Whore (which is an odd title to have to say is my favourite, but what can I do? it’s a great song) g - ghosts, are they real?: I’m not sure. I tend not to believe anyone who claims to have seen/felt/encountered a ghost (not saying they’re lying, more that they’re probably mistaken), but I don’t know if I can totally write off the possibility of ghosts existing at all. h - hometown: too small for me to feel comfortable naming it here. i - in love with: nobody j - jealous of: many people for many reasons k - killed someone: no, but if I had, I would not admit to it on a public blog or anywhere on the internet l - last time you cried: I’m not sure, but probably not too long ago. m - middle name(s): I don’t really want to give out too much personal info on this blog, so I’ll just say G***e. (It isn’t Goose, but you can pretend it is.) n - number of siblings: none. o - one wish: this question used to come up a lot when I was a kid and my default answer would always be “more wishes”, but if I had to be serious… I don’t know, I’d probably need more time to think about it. p - person you last called/texted: The last person I called was my dad, and texted was @nothga q - question you’re always asked: “what are you doing now that you’re finished university?” (current answer: nothing yet, pls stop asking) r - reasons to smile: music, friends, food, cat s - song last sang: sometimes I sing along with songs without really thinking about it, but I wouldn’t remember what the last one was t - time you woke up: 10:30ish? u - underwear color: white and blue. v - vacation destination: America. if I had to narrow it down to one state, Illinois. w - worst habit(s): procrastination x - x-rays you’ve had: I got my teeth x-rayed at the dentist once, but that’s it y - your favorite food: spaghetti? pizza? probably one of the two. z - zodiac sign: Gemini

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hishotandhaywireheart · 7 years

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Survey from Esther~

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Janina Gavankar - Don't Look Down The Irrepressibles - Two Men In Love The Irrepressibles - The Arrow Flor - Warm Blood Shearwater - Animal Life Bastille - Laura Palmer 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I'm overwhelmed by this question and can't pick a single answer, sorry lol. This is like asking me what my favorite Pokémon is. 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. I'm in a dog boarding facility's kitchen at the moment, no books in sight, I'm afraid. But I am reading the first book of the Raven Cycle series in audio form, if that helps 4: What do you think about most? What a question. Art? Animals? 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? It's my boyfriend saying he's going to sleep :3 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? *Gamagoori voice* I sleep in the nude 7: What’s your strangest talent? Even though I am not a smoker [unless you count a couple of hookahs per year], I can tell the brand of a cigarette by the smell of the smoke. The smell on someone's clothes, I know immediately what brand it is. Mixture of childhood exposure, sensory sensitivity, and the jobs I've worked lol. 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) Girls are powerful. Boys are powerful. 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? I dunno. Maybe? 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? Uhh. Not a thing that occurs to me to do, to be honest lol 11: Do you have any strange phobias? Big phobia of hypodermic needles, or generally anything like a splinter, tiny shard of glass or hook getting underneath my skin. Phobic of getting pregnant. I guess those are weird. 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Uhhh probably? 13: What’s your religion? What a complicated question lol. Simple answer: I'm pagan. But there is literally nothing simple about my endless thoughts about spirituality 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Taking a walk in the woods, or sitting by a stream or body of water [water sources are especially sacred parts of nature for me] 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both. But I love taking photos and nobody really takes any photos of me. So I guess behind. Especially when it's behind a Polaroid. 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Shearwater. Honorable mention to the Irrepressibles. 17: What was the last lie you told? Fuck if I know 18: Do you believe in karma? Not really. But as always I believe in the awesome power of the brain. 19: What does your URL mean? It's my name with "Irrepressible" after it, in the style of Jamie Irrepressible, the vocalist of, well, you can probably guess which band. 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Weakness - I'm extremely prone to gaslighting and self doubt about my own reality. Strength - I might not be a fan of abrupt change, but I am very adaptable, given time to adjust. 21: Who is your celebrity crush? None 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? No, sadly. Remember what I said about my irrational fear of stepping on hooks or sharp objects? Interferes with my sacred need to swim in every lake I see. 23: How do you vent your anger? Ideally, art. Drawing, writing, even recording myself ranting to my microphone about it. 24: Do you have a collection of anything? I collect retro Pokémon merchandise and certain old video games. :> this makes me sound like a massive genwunner but rest assured, it's just an Aesthetic™ 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Text, to be honest. Us auties generally do better communicating in text based media. Skype calls are useful at times but I've always found them too awkward with delays and such to use reliably. 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? Hmmm. Tentatively, yes? 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Sound I hate: male voices shouting. Sound I love: music bouncing off walls and becoming ethereal and far away. 28: What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I don't understand what this question is asking me? 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts, no. I talk about them a lot though because the idea of them is dear and important to me, but literally, no, I have no belief in some vaporized version of your personality that goes on after death. Aliens, I assume are a matter of inevitability. But I don't believe we will probably ever find or meet them in the foreseeable future. Humans think they are much more fascinating than they actually are. Aliens are not crawling all over themselves to build technology just to come fly over to our house and meet us. Sry 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. Air both times lol 31: Smell the air. What do you smell? The heat coming on at work because morning is here. Faint dog poop smell. Gonna have to tidy that up lol 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? Buttfuck nowhere, West Virginia 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? East Coast, if we're talking america 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? I don't have an opposite gender 35: To you, what is the meaning of life? To create something meaningful and beautiful, and to enjoy myself to the fullest while helping others whenever possible 36: Define Art. If it makes you think about whether or not it's art, then it's art. 37: Do you believe in luck? Uhh. Like as an actual outside force that decides whether good or bad stuff will happen to me, no. 38: What’s the weather like right now? Coldddd 39: What time is it? 6 am. Time to get off work! 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes, I drive, don't love it but glad I am able. No, but I did run over a bin once 41: What was the last book you read? A book about the history of heterosexuality as a concept, fascinating read actually 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? As a kid I liked it but it's kinda gross now 43: Do you have any nicknames? Many 44: What was the last film you saw? Can't remember a film rn but I am currently watching The Story Of Film which I CANNOT recommend enough, it is a documentary series about, well, the history of cinema and even if you don't care about movie making... It will absorb you completely and make you not only care but be totally fascinated. I adore it. 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? You know, I've been really lucky. Never broken bone or needed stitches or even like, been to the hospital, lol. I think I chipped my shin bone on a brick stair once. And a couple years ago I missed a stair going down and sprained my ankle, and my work refused to let me spend any time off my feet so I was crying from pain in front of customers lol. But it healed fast once I had a brace. No problem. 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? I dunno. I was taught as a child that if you touch their wing dust even a little, they will lose their flight and die. So probably I haven't. Even though I now know this isn't quite true. 47: Do you have any obsessions right now? The Story of Film, some bands, getting sucked back deep into my lifelong love Pokémon again lol 48: What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual, or: Why Are Gender And Genital Shape Our Main Social Indicator Of Romantic Or Sexual Preferences, Of All Things, That's Really Weird And I Can't Relate, Please Save Me From This Bizarro World 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? Oh yes, plenty back in school 50: Do you believe in magic? Ahh. I believe in the power of will. I believe in the ability to make your own life full of magic via willpower. I believe in the harmless use of willpower to try and cause a change in your environment. I believe the force exercised by children known dismissively as "imagination" have incredible power to influence the mind and soul. I have no belief in a metaphysical force in the universe called "magic" that could describe basically anything and everything unknown to current science. If you ask me flat-out, I will say yes, I believe in magic. But this is more of what I mean. I don't believe in "magic", except that I do. Adamantly. 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? I do not tend to forget. Forgive is a matter of situation. But I don't forget. And I am quite the talented ice prince when it comes to freezing someone entirely out of my life. This includes immediate family. I only speak to my little sister out of my entire family. 52: What is your astrological sign? Taurus-Gemini cusp! 53: Do you save money or spend it? Spend :T 54: What’s the last thing you purchased? Bread, milk and a couple very cheap, very pink, very glittery nail polishes. My weakness. 55: Love or lust? Yes. 56: In a relationship? Yep 57: How many relationships have you had? Uhh... Many? Serious, deep romantic relationships, which I suspect is your real question: three. 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope 59: Where were you yesterday? Home, and briefly out at the store. 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? My nails are pink and glittery. 61: Are you wearing socks right now? Yep. I wear two pairs to work because my super comfy work shoes are just the tiniest bit too big. 62: What’s your favourite animal? You asked the impossible question. Today, your answer is: praying mantis. Specifically praying mantis godmothers. Ask me again in two hours for an entirely different answer. 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Sorry, too socially awkward for this prompt 64: Where is your best friend? In bed, it is very late and/or early. 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. Don't really have favorites? Just people and stuff I like. 66: What is your heritage? Whitey white. Scots Irish, English, a bit of German, and like everything else you can expect from a family that's been in America about as long as a white devil could possibly be. My mother is a hobbyist genealogist, so this isn't just typical white folks bullshit, I'm vaguely more educated on my roots. I am in fact a distant cousin of notable American politician of the 19th century, Henry Clay. 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Playing Pokémon Blue! Beating the game for literally the first time ever! 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? Uh. Um. Oh god, I don't know lmao 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Yes, everyone has, normalize it 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Hmmm. Yes. 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Lose my job bitches, and maybe hope to go viral and boost my chances of getting a new job for doing this thing lol 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? A-Maybe. At least a few people. B-Travel, make good art, write my will, get my affairs in order. C- Yes, for a while. 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Trust obvs 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Many. First one that comes to mind is Empire by Jukebox the Ghost 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? Nope 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Being best friends and trying to understand one another and willing to be open and honest, no ego in the way 77: How can I win your heart? Buy me sushi. 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? Yes. 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? To not have children. 80: What size shoes do you wear? American size seven in men's, nine in women's. Sometimes half a size up or down. 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? No idea. I should get thinking on that. 82: What is your favourite word? Don't really have one favorite tbh 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Glowing lights, core imagery 84: What is a saying you say a lot? Hell yeah 85: What’s the last song you listened to? Maxiimo Park - Going Missing 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? Long story short: indigo. 87: What is your current desktop picture? Some Pokémon, I forget which. 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? A random white supremacist, maybe, but honestly, I probably wouldn't press it 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? No idea rn 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? I'd be quite disturbed because I cut my teeth on Ocarina of Time and was very creeped out by ReDeads 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Shapeshifting. Always my answer. Covers being an animal, or being a child, or flying, or swimming. 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? First thought is a marching band performance from high school. Second thought is back in that car in the vast moonlit Utah desert. 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Bad math teachers. Gave me a complex about math and didn't improve me as a person in any way like most of the others did. 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? No interest 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Japan motherfuckers 96: Do you have any relatives in jail? Not that I'm aware of but I couldn't care less tbh 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? If I have, I must have been very small. 98: Ever been on a plane? Yep, just twice. 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? If they actually absorbed what I had to say? Love yourselves. Love each other. Endeavor to understand each other. Try to figure out what you were taught wrong about yourself and your fellow humans, and unlearn those things. Embrace humanity in all its diversity. Open up and be vulnerable.

#Surveyz

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