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cierrabiscuits · 3 years

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Koutaro Bokuto x Fem Reader: Eligible Bachelor

Summary: Some of the MSBY team are scheduled at a charity event and are auctioned off for dates, you being the manager go with them. The team is well aware of your crush on Bokuto and put a plan in motion. What’s the worst that can happen.

Words: 5.1K

Warnings: Angst if squint, happy ending, MSBY 4 being sold as dates for Charity.

Authors Note: Hello! This is my first time posting a fic so go easy on me, I hope you all enjoy it and get a good laugh out of it like I did! This is part of a collab with @ambershaydeoffical! Please support all the talented writes who participated.

Update: I made a route for Sakusa! Find that here

Update: I made a route for Atsumu! Finda that here

Story

“Alrighty boys are you ready to go on in?” You said staring at the four well dressed men behind you.

“No, and I want to go home.” Sakusa adjusted his black facemask. He wasn’t keen on coming to this event whatsoever.

“Sakusa I know, but I really need you! Besides what would you be doing anyway? It's Valentine's day and you're as single as single gets. Live a little. Maybe you will find your Mrs.Clean tonight! Ya never know!” You said as he rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“Omi-Omi don't be that way. Our lovely manager here worked hard to get us this opportunity, and it's benefiting a charity you scrooge.” Atsumu smacked Sakusa’s back.”I think your just upset because you know all the ladies are going to bid on me.” The blond setter smirked at the very pissed Sakusa who just glared at him.

“NOoO It's going to be me who gets all the bids. I still have my tan from Brazil and I’m alot cooler than all of you.” Hinata piped up, proudly adjusting his tie that had little volleyballs on it.

“Well if we don’t get our asses in that building, aint none of y’all getting any bids, besides I’m freezing to death,” You said rubbing your arms. The dress you wore done little to protect you from the cold night.

“Take this please, I don’t want to freeze to death. I like you warm and alive.” Bokuto, who's been oddly quiet, spoke up wrapping his grey tux jacket around your shoulders leaving him in his blue button up. You could smell his cologne on the jacket, you could drown in this and wouldn't complain. Your cheeks ran hot and you managed to let out a “thank you” through chattering teeth.

“Okay let’s get going.” You said wrapping the jacket tighter around you as the boys followed you like baby ducks. Bokuto walked up beside you while the two boys bickered over who would have the most bids in the back, Sakusa wanted no part in it and stayed to himself. You look at Bokuto who seemed nervous. You decided to hype him up a bit before he went into emo mode. “Bokuto you are going to have some gorgeous high profile women coming after you tonight, I’m jealous of them.” You didn't lie, you had the biggest crush on Bo, ever since you took the job as the MSBY manager. You never have a frown on your face next to him- until now. You knew he’d have a woman, that's not you, by his side tonight. You’d bid on him until your bank went in the negative but you don’t get paid like the women at this event do.

“You wait and see, I’ll have the most beautiful one by time the night is out.” Bokuto said, smiling at you. You felt a pang of sadness creep on you, if he only knew.

The warm air of the ballroom felt nice against your cool body. You gave Bokuto his jacket back, you secretly wished you could keep it forever. You took in your surroundings, the ball room was filled with women in designer dresses and you could see the small stage in the middle of the room.

“Guys I have to find the event coordinator and see what time you guys need to get on stage. Please be on your best behavior, there are cameras everywhere. Atsumu keep the drinking to a minimum, Shoyo for the love of God go to the bathroom now, Omi keep these fools in line and you better be nice to people and last but never the least Bokuto, If you dance please be careful, I don’t want to take you to the ER again because you hit the Cha cha slide too hard. And with that I’m out. I’m counting on you guys.” You said giving them a thumbs up as you got lost into the sea of people to hunt the event coordinator.

“Thank you so much Y/N! Everyone is looking forward to the auction. We have some models and a couple pop stars who will be in the line up as well as a few volunteers . I want your boys to go at the end, as they say ‘always save the best for last’.” The coordinator spoke over the bustling crowd. She went over the rules and where they needed to go and what time to line up. You soaked in all the information the bubbly coordinator was giving you. “I have to go let the rest of the people know the game plan. Please have your guys here and lined up in half an hour. Thank you again!” And with that she disappeared into the crowd. Now here came the hard part.

You scanned the large ballroom to find your heathens. Sakusa would be the easiest to find because he is most likely on one of the four corners in the building. Hinata was most likely with Bokuto, and Atsumu was a wild card, he could be at the bar, maybe even on the dance floor trying to impress girls with his dance moves(That suck by the way). You recall the time you found him passed out in a bush drunk off ass at a gala last year. You make up a game plan, you would get Bo and Hinata first, then find a hopefully sober Tsumu and lastly get Sakusa (you figured it best not to drag him around the ballroom) You spot Bokuto’s tall figure next to a snack bar, and as you figured Hinata was with him. They were both stuffing their mouths with meat kebabs and other foods like wild animals, they sure love to eat you thought.

“Bokuto,Hinata, they are getting ready to line everyone up, wait for me over there.” You said pointing towards an area that was not too terribly crowded.

“HEY HEY HEY Y/N try one of these things, they are so freakin good.” He shoved a cake pop in front of your face. You took it from the gray haired boy.

“Thank you Bo, but we really need to go.” You took a bite from the cake pop. “Wow that is really good.” You said finishing it in one bite. You heard some snickers from a group of girls, they made a smug comment about you eating it all at once. You normally would throw hands but you had an image to uphold. You shouldn't let it bother you but it did.

“Hey don’t let that bother you, besides I like a girl that can eat.” Bokuto said, patting your head. He is literally the human version of sunshine.

“Thanks Bo. But really we need to get the move on, I still have to hunt Tsumu down. Can you and Hinata wait for me over there.” You said pointing to the area again.

“Roger that.” They said unison.

“I’ll be right back.” You said going back into the crowd. You checked the dancefloor first and he wasn't there(You were relieved he was not.). You made your way to the bar and found him surrounded by women who were mesmerized by his thick accent. You waved him down and he nodded and turned his attention back to the group he had attracted.

“It looks like It's time fer’ me to go, make sure you all bid for me. I’ll be a waitin’” He said getting up and following you. The women he had been entertaining giggled as he walked away.

“Look at you being a player. I didn’t expect that from a man who yells at girls when they cheer for him.” You leaned into him so he could hear you over the crowd.

“I’m just tryin’ to raise some money, it's strictly business. My heart belongs to volleyball for the most part.”He said winking at you. He truly is just a fool in love with the sport.

You led Atsumu to the group and went to retrieve poor Sakusa. You looked around for a few minutes and felt a tug at the back of your shirt. You turn around and see Sakusa towering over you.

“This is new, I’m used to finding you sulking in a corner.” You said staring into his black eyes.

“I watched you gather everyone up, I figured I would come on over to make it easier for you.” He began to walk towards the rest of the group.

“I guess being 6’4 has its perks huh Omi? You're like a watchtower.” You said looking up at the tall spiker.

“Yeah, guess so.”He said playing with one of his dark curls.

“Okay we have everyone, so you guys are going last, I’ll leave who goes first to you guys. Now let's go get lined up.” You lead them to the stage and let them line up. Atsumu insisted on going first, Hinata would go after him, then Sakusa and lastly Bokuto.

“You owe me some umeboshi after this.” Sakusa said, taking his mask off and putting it in the pocket of his tux.

“Sure thing. I'll even throw in a thing of nice smelling hand sanitizer for the trouble.” You crossed your arms and smirked at him.

“I’ll hold you to that.” He said, filing behind Hinata.

You looked at Bokuto who appeared to be a nervous wreck. He had a small layer of sweat on his forehead and his hands were shaking slightly. “Hey it's going to be okay, I’ll be right here.” You said pulling out your handkerchief and dabbing the sweat off his forehead. “You're amazing and dare I say you're the best looking one.” You said making him blush.

“Ummm HEY.” Atsumu said glaring at you, obviously butt hurt from your comment. Sakusa was unamused and took it upon himself to kick Atsumu. That gave you the opportunity to turn your attention back to the nervous male beside you. Before you could comfort him the loud speaker cut you off.

“Ladies and gentleman, would you please give your attention to the center stage, the date auction will begin momentarily.” The coordinator announced causing everyone to tense up a bit.

“Come on guys loosen up a bit, I’m going to be in the front taking pictures for our instagram page. So show off a little! Show them you are proud to be a part of such an awesome volleyball team!” You hyped them up one last team. “With that being said I want a group picture so bring it in guys.” You said pulling the camera and ushering the athletes into the frame. “Say cheese.” Atsumu wrapped his arm around Sakusa who didn’t have the chance to push him off, Bokuto gave Hinata bunny ears. It was a chaotic photo, but It caught their true essence.

“I want a picture with you before you go Y/N. Pleaseee.” Bokuto gave you puppy dogs eyes and you couldn't deny him.

“Sure Bo. Atsumu here.” You handed him the camera and got beside Bokuto. He wrapped an arm around your waist and held you close to him. You could feel his muscles through the tux that fit just a little too good.

“Aww you look like a cute couple.” Atsumu teased as he brought the camera up to snap a picture. You couldn't make a comeback as embarrassment washed over you. You looked up at Bokuto who had a blush adorning his handsome face.

“Y/N I’m going to do something, don’t get mad.” Bokuto said, picking you up bridal style before you could even protest.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Atsumu said, snapping more pictures.

“Bokuto put me down, I'm heavy!” You shriked gripping onto his tux.

“No you're not. I could carry you around all night like this if you wanted me to!” He smiled down at you! You felt your face light up like a Christmas tree. No matter how big or small you were, Bokuto always made you feel like a princess.

“As much as I’d love you to, we gotta get this ball rolling.” You said as he gently placed you back on your feet. “I’ll be taking that.” You said snatching the camera from Atsumu who was smirking. He seemed to be hiding something from the way he was acting. He is definitely sus you thought. You waved the boys goodbye and made you way to the front of the crowd. You got the camera ready as the spotlight of the stage flickered on.

“Thank you all for coming out tonight! We hope you are ready to see the heartthrobs we have lined up for you!!” The announcer said setting the tone. “Valentine's day is all about love and being with one another. So if your single, ladies, pull those yen out and let’s get to business!” The crowd cheered and applauded as the auction began.

You didn’t pay much attention to the men coming on stage, your only worry was the last 4. You scrolled through the camera to see the pictures Atsumu took of you and Bokuto. Bokuto had such a wide smile on his face in the pictures, your smile was just as big, even though your face was full of panic in the one where he effortlessly picked you up. You’re pulled from your day dream when you heard the announcer’s voice.

“We have some special guests tonight from the MSBY volleyball team! We’ll start first with Miya Atsumu!” The announcer said as Atsumu walked on the stage like he owned it. He flipped his hair and looked at the group of women he serenaded earlier and blew them a kiss. You got lucky and snapped a picture of it, he may be annoying as hell but he knows how to get women. He had about ten women fighting over him, his bids kept going up and up. After a cutthroat battle he was sold for roughly 200,000 yen. He smirked and walked off the stage. You couldn’t help but chuckled to yourself, he’d be one of a kind if he didn’t have a twin.

“Up next we have Hinata Shoyo!” She said as the tangerine headed boy shly walked on stage. He looked confident for the most part and he thankfully went to the bathroom before this. He had on one of his classic charming but cute smiles. You could hear girls behind you talk about how cute he was. His skin was glowing under the spotlight thanks to the Brazilian sun. His bids went up high, he ended up being sold for 120,000 yen. He waved at the audience and bounced off the stage.

“Let’s welcome our next bachelor who just so happens to be the tallest one tonight, Sakusa Kiyoomi!” You watched on edge as Sakusa walked out, he didn’t seem nervous but he wasn’t all that interested either, he stood in the middle of the stage like a statue. To make matters worse he wasn’t smiling. You grabbed his attention for a moment and smiled as wide as you could and pointed at your face, you felt like one of the psychotic moms from toddlers and tiaras but you had to do something or he wasn't going to get any bids. You mouthed the words “Smile please” at him and he finally took the hint. He had an awkward but cute smile on his face finally. You relaxed a little and resumed taking pictures. His bids began to go up and quick. Sakusa looked at the exit of the stage and smirked at someone and turned his attention back to the crowd. You could only guess he was looking at Atsumu who was probably pissed at how high Sakusa’s bids were. Sakusa was sold for a whopping 500,000 yen. You know Tsumu’s ego was damaged beyond repair right now. Sakusa bowed and left the stage.

“Now let’s end this night right! We have one more contest so let’s welcome Bokuto Koutarou to the stage!” You felt your heart drop and the announcer said his name. You had to watch someone you loved dearly be bid off to some rich girl who would probably steal him away. You tried to knock away negative thoughts but you couldn’t help it. He looked sinfully good when he walked on stage. What nervousness he felt was gone and now it’s nothing but his overwhelming confidence. He carefully watched one specific area of the crowd. You snapped pictures of him (a lot of them being for your personal collection) as he walked around the stage flexing and showing off. His eyes met yours a lot and he seemed to be smirking at you. But his attention always went back to the one area of the crowd. You heard his bids go up, one particular girl was bidding for him like her life depended on having him. Her voice came from the direction he kept starting at. He looked nervous when anyone but her called out a bid. You began to get ate up with pure jealousy, you wish you could take him off the stage and run away with him right then and there. The bids kept going up and up and the girl that kept bidding on him got him for 150,000 yen. He looked ecstatic. He looked at you and smiled before he went off stage. Your heart dropped and you wanted to leave, but you still have work to do.

“That concludes the auction tonight! If you won you can meet up with your bachelor over here on the left.” The announcer pointed towards the group of men. You made your way to find the guys so you can take more pictures and let them know where you’ll be when they get done.

“You guys did awesome!” You said running up to them. They gave you a soft smile. You notice Bokuto was MIA. “Umm guys, where is Bo?” They hesitated for a second but your conversation was cut short as the boys dates for the evening came up.

“Sakusa was it?” A well dressed man walked up to the tall volleyball player. You noticed a small girl clutching his dress shirt. She couldn’t be any older than 8. “This is my daughter, she wanted someone to dance with her but in all honesty I’m trying to make some business deals while I’m here, keep her company for me.” The man patted his shoulder and slipped some extra money in Sakusa’s shirt pocket, leaving him slacked jawed.

“All the umeboshi your heart desires, a big box of the nice face masks you like, and whatever else you want, just please be nice to this poor girl. She looks sad.” You whispered into Omi’s ear trying to persuade him a little more.

“I didn’t come here to babysit, but I guess I can.” He said low enough that the girl couldn’t hear. Omi peered down at the small girl, she actually had moles on her face kinda like he does but on the opposite side.

“Umm hi.” She said looking up at the tall man. She seemed nervous. You nugged Omi in the side to get him to say anything.

“When was the last time you washed your hands?” He asked the girl and you could have choked him. The girl giggled at his statement.

“I wash my hands all the time! Look my mom even bought me this!” She pulled out a small key chain with a rabbit on it, attached was a small bottle of hand sanitizer. “Would you like some?” She said opening the cap. Sakusa held his hand as the small girl poured some into his hands and she gave herself some as well.

“Good.” Sakusa said, pulling his mask from his pocket to put it back on. The little girl grabbed his hand and dragged him to the dance floor. You knew this was way out of his comfort zone, but he was still doing it.

“Omg your hair is so cute! Can I touch it?” You whipped your head around to see a young bubbly girl talking to Hinata.

“Umm s—s sure.” He said nervously as the girl ran and hand through his hair. You couldn’t help but laugh a little. The poor baby seemed so embarrassed. The dance floor was filled with couples and the girl dragged Hinata to the dance floor before he could even get her name. You turned to Atsumu who looked like he had seen a ghost.

“Young man I’m getting my money's worth tonight so let's go dance.” An old lady who you thought resemble Baba Yaga from spirited away stood in front of poor Atsumu.

“Yes ma’am.” He said, forcing a smile. He looked at you pleasing eyes that screamed “please save me Y/N”. You shook your head at him.

“Pay attention to me boy, I paid good money for you.” The old lady said whacking Atsumu with the cane she carried.

“Yes ma’am, sorry ma’am.” He said walking with the old woman to the dance floor. You had to turn your head and laugh, between Sakusa getting stuck babysitting a kid and Atsumu being stuck with a senior citizen after talking all that smack, it was priceless. You guess them ladies Atsumu talked to must not have liked him that much.

You searched around for Bokuto to make sure he got his date for the night, you were also curious who she was and how pretty she was. You felt that jealousy creep back on you. This was going to be a long night. You finally spot Bokuto talking to a drop dead beautiful girl, she looked familiar but you couldn’t quite place her. She and Bokuto seemed to be having a good time, she was laughing at something he had said. Your heart shattered. You look back up to see Bo making eye contact with you. All you could do was smile and get lost in the crowd before he could see the stray tear falling down your cheek. You needed to get outside for a bit, you felt like you were suffocating. You fought the crowd and finally made your way to the exit. You pushed the metal door open. The cold night felt good against your hot skin. You walked down a path in front of the building and tried to collect yourself.

“Another year alone and single.” You blurted out to yourself. You find a small bench and decide to sit down for a bit. The night sky brought a sort of comfort to you. The stars twinkled and the moon casted a peaceful light. The cold was getting to you but you were afraid to go back in. You mentally couldn’t handle it.

“PARKOUR.” You felt your soul leave your body as you saw a shadow jump over the bench you were sitting on. You flinched back ready to fight off the attacker only to be met with Bokuto standing in front.

“BO you scared me to death!” You said inhaling a deep breath and clutching your chest.

“I’m sorry my parkour was so awesome it scared you.” He said, taking his jacket off and draping it yet again around your cold body. Your nose flooded again with the scent of his cologne. It’s calmed you down in a bittersweet way. “But angel what are you doing out here, you’ll get sick if you're not careful.” He kneeled down a bit and pulled the jacket around your cold body more.

“I could ask you the same things Mr. Parkour, you have a beautiful woman in there waiting on you, so stop wasting your time on me.” You said trying to hold it together.

“Well I’m more concerned with the real beautiful one sitting right in front of me.” He said grabbing your shaking hands. Your eyes went wide with what he said.

“Bo I’m confused?” You said looking into his golden eyes.

“Well that woman you saw me with is not really my date, yes she did bid on me, but she was never my real date. She is actually the guy who owns our gym's daughter! She agreed to bid on me, but in return she wanted a date with Atsumu’s brother and he agreed to do it! The team helped me do this so I could be with you tonight, but I guess it didn’t go as smoothly as I planned. I’m sorry I made you sad.” Bokuto sat beside you on the bench,

“Bokuto are you low key confessing to me?” You looked over at him and he smiled and shook his head.

“Yes and let me do this properly.” He cleared his throat and held his hand out for you to grab, which you gladly accepted. “Y/N please let me be your date tonight and from here on out please!”

“So like boyfriend and girlfriend Bo?” You said wanting to make sure you got the message right.

“Yes Y/N, please be my girlfriend. All that flexin on the stage was for you baby!” He stood up and flexed again making you laugh. “But in all seriousness, I freakin love you. So what do you say Y/N?”

“Yes. I would love nothing mo-“ Bokuto cut you off by lifting your body into his strong arms. You giggled as he swung you both in circles. He slowed down and seen you finally smile again

“Now that’s a pretty sight, you're not going to be sad on my watch anymore. Now we better get back inside before we freeze to death!” Bokuto wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you two began to walk back. “Wait I have something for you!” He dug through his pockets and pulled out a small jewelry box and handed it to you. You opened it and there was a necklace with a small owl charm and a “B” charm next to it.

“Bo this is so cute! Can you help me put it on!” You said handing him the necklace. He struggled to get it on but finally got it. The silver was cold on your skin, but you didn’t mind at all.

“Omi actually helped me pick it out, believe it or not. He said if I would have went alone I would have got something stupid.” Bokuto said, sliding the jewelry box back into his coat pocket. You hate to admit it but Sakusa going was probably a good thing.

“Bo I really love it, thank you.” You said leaving up and kissing his cheek. “Now let’s go back, I’ve got to check in on everyone.” You walked into the ballroom with your arm hooked around Bokuto’s bicep.

You scanned the room to see if you could find any of the guys and the only one you could see was Hinata laughing with his date. They seemed to be hitting it off pretty good. “Bokuto let’s go get something to drink.” You both walked towards the bar, you see that girl who bid on Bokuto sitting next to Osamu. They both seemed to be having a good time.

“Thank you again! The planned worked Y/N is my girlfriend now!” Bokuto walked up to them and showed you off.

“I’m so glad!” The girl said, clasping her hands together. “You are a cute couple.”

“Speaking of a cute couple.” Osamu chimed in and pointed towards his brother Atsumu who was being dragged around by that old lady. “I may have given her some free Onigiri vouchers and a few hundred yen to bid on him.” The twin laughed at his brother's despair.

“Your evil, but I like it.” The girl said as they clinked their drinks together.

“You guys enjoy it, we still have to hunt for Omi.” You bowed and clung back on to Bokuto.

After circulating the ballroom a few times you finally find Sakusa and the little girl sitting at a table. Sakusa looked dead tired and the little girl was stuffing her face with cake

“Omi you look like a tired dad.” Bokuto said bursting out laughing at his teammate.

“I see your plan worked.” Sakusa said, looking at the necklace through tired eyes.

“Yes it did now this cutie is all mine.” Bokuto said peppering your cheek with kisses.

“How disgusting, when you grow up don’t date idiots like him.” Sakusa looked at the child who just nodded her head. It was hilarious to see Omi so out of his element. “That was directed at you Bokuto not Y/N.”

“Omi, he is a idiot but he is my idiot.” You patted Bokuto's back.

“Omi-Omi let’s go dance some more. I like this song.” The little girl tugged on his jacket.

“Fine.” Omi sighed and followed her dance floor.

“Now that we know everyone (for the most part) is okay let’s dance!” You said leading Bokuto to the dance floor.

You danced to every single song and Bo didn’t break anything when the cha cha slide came on. He swung you around all night without a care in the world.

“Let’s end the night with something nice and slow.” The Dj said putting on (Insert your favorite slow song)

“May I have this dance pretty girl?” Bokuto asked, holding his hand out to pull you closer to him.

“The Macarena may have wore me out, but I guess I have enough wind in me for one last song.” You teased wrapping your arms around his neck. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and began to slowly dance you around the room.

You see that little girl struggling to keep up with Omi’s big steps as he attempted to dance with her, he was at least trying you thought. Hinata was slow dancing with his date of the night, they both seemed comfortable and content with each other. Atsumu was still with that granny but he seemed to have accepted defeat as he danced around with her. Osamu danced with the gym owner's daughter and made it a mission to kick his brother when they got close enough, he even messed him up enough to cause the old to hit him with the cane again. You felt Bokuto's grip tighten and he dipped you down enough to finally kiss you on the lips. He pulled away and brought you back up to continue dancing.

“ I love you Y/N.” Bokuto spoke softly in your ear.

“I love you too.” You said as the song faded out.

“And one more thing Y/N” Bokuto said, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “I told you I would have the most beautiful girl here.”

Fin

#Bokuto X Reader #MSBY X Reader #Haikyuu Fluff #Bokuto Fluff #Bokuto Angst #Haikyuu Angst #kotaro bokuto x reader #Koutarou X Reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x female reader #bokuto x y/n

249 notes · View notes

creepy-spooghetti · 3 years

Note

How are you doing? Damn girl I missed your stuff about Ben 🌞 I'd love it if you wrote some things about him. Literally anything, when you have time and interest for this.

I'm doing well! Thanks for the hug ^^ You never specified what you wanted so what you get below is what my delirious brain came up with at 11 o'clock at night - enjoy anyway though!! <3

Ben Drowned S\O Headcanons

Ben has a reputation in a lot of peoples' personal AUs as being a sex-driven, perverted little asshole. but lemme tell you now, this certainly is not the case with our favorite Link look-alike.

Whenever the subject of 'love' or 'sex' comes up, especially around you, his ears turn all red and his whole body just kind of stiffens up as he goes into silent mode.

If he does start talking, however, he'll end up stumbling over his words, his voice will go squeaky as if he's teleported back into the early stages of puberty, and his eyes will look at virtually anything but you out of pure embarrassment.

It really is adorable, you must say.

It's moments like these when you lay on the PDA really hard, and you'll kiss his head, or snuggle into his side, even verbally tease him a bit.

"Hey, Ben, ya know what we haven't done in a while? Napped together."

"Aww hun, what's the matter? You're lookin' a little red."

"Ya know, embarrassment looks pretty good on you~"

He like, loves it but despises it at the same time; it's his guilty pleasure, in some aspects.

He's one of those that like to put up a careless exterior, but when somebody says the right thing, he'll pretty much just turn into a ghostly sludge of utter humiliation.

All of this was ten times worse before the two of you became a couple.

Someone could just mention crushes or attraction and he'd be dead.

This "someone" was mostly Jeff on days he wanted to embarrass him. He still does, it just isn't as effective.

You know, the first time you and Ben actually did something as simple as holding hands for the first time, he morphed into a pile of jelly at the rapid beating of his heart and the butterflies in his stomach.

But he just loves you so damn much, the poor boy can't even help it.

Just being around you can be enough to make him blush.

As your relationship as a couple grew, so did his confidence, and now he's chill most times you actually opt to touch him in any way, shape, or form.

Well, on the outside, at least.

But on the inside? His mind is going into alert mode and his insides just feel like they're swirling from euphoria.

I mean, who would have thought that Ben would ever get someone as awesome as you?

Certainly not the other Pastas, since none of them ever thought of Ben as 'boyfriend material'.

Guess he really showed them up.

Okay but seriously though, this dude may not be the smoothest boyfriend out there, but he tries. And he's so freaking sweet.

He regularly rubs it in Jeff's face that he managed to get a girlfriend before him, even though Jeff is like four years older.

Jeff only grunts and mutters, "who needs girls anyway?"

Ben is definitely the kind of person that will 100% overdo it on Valentine's day.

He'll treat it more like Hannuka to be completely honest.

I mean, there's gonna be a present for every day of the month of February, even when Valentine's day has passed already.

Heart chocolates for day #1, your favorite cookie for day #2, a giant teddy bear for day #3, a very strangely worded poem that's supposed to sound romantic but ends up just sounding awkward (he wrote it himself!) for day #4, and so on.

It's so sweet yet totally pointless because what are you supposed to do with all this unedible stuff? You only have so much room for storage!

But it's the thought that counts.

He won't really expect anything but attention out the yin-yang for days on end in return, but if you do get him a gift, he will be all yours for roughly 14 to 24 hours.

This boy gets excited over the simplest things you do for him, he is a major simp, I think it's safe to say.

But it's in the best possible way!

If you're ever feeling insecure about your looks or otherwise, he will pull you in front of a mirror, make you stare at your reflection, and ask you what you see. If you respond with something negative he'll just shake his head.

"Ya know what I see? A beautiful girl with all these adorable little quirks that make her unique. Her smile's adorable, her eyes are like looking into nature's finest jewels, and her laugh is just the best sound in the world. What she sees as imperfections are just the things that add depth and make her so great. And I wouldn't have it any other way..."

It's so corny but surprisingly grown-up for Ben's immature self.

Still though, it makes you tear up and you just wanna cuddle him for an hour or two.

Of course, he's very open to that. Then again, he's almost always up for cuddles, so.

Overall just really loveable, selfless, and affectionate. For big snugglers that love fun-sized bois, Ben is perfect for you.

#ben drowned #creepypasta #slender manor #jeff the killer #benjamin jacobs #jeffery woods #headcanons #creepypasta headcanons #ben drowned headcanons #ben drowned x reader #creepypasta x reader headcanons #ben drowned x reader headcanons

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arigatouiris · 4 years

Text

remember... me? // nakahara chuuya x reader

Author’s Note: Being awol for so long could only mean I was drowning in Bungo Stray Dogs and am now a hoe for Chuuya and Dazai. No regrets. I’m on season three rn and I’m only going to go on and read the manga after this, so I’m just THIRSTY. Hope you like this!

Word count: 5k+

Pairing: Nakahara Chuuya x Reader

Summary: Ever since laying his eyes on you, Chuuya sensed a familiarity that almost suffocated him. The ever-growing sense of deja vu didn't disappear even as he had you locked in his arms, or even as he stayed away; there was no explanation to it, whatsoever. He wondered if love was an emotion that would constantly have him question every action, every thought, and every moment that occurred, but what did he know of love? But then again, what didn't he?

Warnings: angst to fluff, soft chuuya, mentions of sex, mentions of drinking alcohol, mentions of blood, swearing (because Chuuya ofc), slight amnesia? ah, you’ll see, ig that’s it?

Even before you fell in love, you had always known that it was a bad idea. As unfortunate as you were, every time you felt a close connection with someone, it ended negatively. Whether it was the first boy you had ever kissed, who had broken your heart ruthlessly by kissing another boy a few days later, or the first person you thought you were in love with who had broken your heart by declining your proposal. Love had always left a remnant of displeasure and fear in your heart, and even without these experiences, you were certain that the concept of love was scary as it was. It wasn't as if Nakahara Chuuya was any different. Well, at least, he wouldn't be.

As soon as you opened your eyes, you noticed how the sun blossomed right outside your window. You knew from the telltale signs of dawn that it was your cue to leave; getting dressed would take less than 30 seconds, and heading out the door would take another 30. In less than two minutes, you'd be out of Nakahara Chuuya's hair, and live your life without the worry of any unnecessary attachment sticking to your psyche. However, for a moment, you lay there, admiring the lone tear that leaked out of his left eye, and you mindlessly wiped it away before it reached his cheek. You wanted to smile at his apparent softness, something you knew he'd try to hide with everything he had. You quietly got off the bed, careful not to throw the covers off his naked torso, and just as you were putting on your pants, your eyes darted to a very asleep Chuuya on the bed, obviously naked from the events of last night, before a thought crossed your mind—oh, how you'd kill just to linger around, but duty calls. A person so devastatingly afraid of love had no business to wish for fluff, it was just roll-call. A sigh exited your lips as you traversed on, mindful not to lay any loud step to awaken the sleeping beauty. To Chuuya, you were someone he had met just the night before, you weren't aware of his opinions on one night stands, but you were of the firm belief that they had to remain just one. Goodbye, Chuuya, you thought before sneaking out the door, almost as easily as you came in.

When Chuuya woke up, he smelt you. He felt a long-forgotten feeling at the back of his eyelids as if he had cried—but Chuuya stopped doing that long ago. He never cried again, he had seen and lived through too much even to consider letting his emotions loose. Yet, why had there been that feeling lingering behind that morning? His eyes searched for any sign of you but when he found none, his heart sank; he was familiar with one night stands, but he hadn't imagined that you adhered to such rules so stringently.

Ah, f*ck, he thought, as he sat up on the bed. He let out a shaky breath before feeling his eyes burn once more. His left hand reached forward and wiped off an incoming tear from his right eye before he frowned. What the f*ck? He thought before groaning. Something must've gone into my eye, he thought; desperate not to think of you. You had left behind your smell and as people say, memory and smell are intertwined. However, Chuuya didn't know that.

A short while after his shower that morning, Chuuya's phone rang indicating that he was needed elsewhere. The stupor that he had been transported into was over, and the feeling that he may have forgotten something had to be buried.

"Yeah?" Chuuya grumbled, ignoring his aching stomach; he knew he was forgetting something, something almost vital to his existence and identity, but his common sense reminded him that post-sex emotions can be overwhelming.

"Oh, rough morning, Chuuya-kun?" Mori's voice from the other end did little to ease his growing uneasiness.

"What is it, Mori-san?"

"I'm starting to worry about you. Chuuya-kun. You disappeared last night and just left. Regardless, your private affairs are your own, after all. I need you to look into something."

Took him long enough to come to the damn point, "What is it?"

"There's a large collection of ammunition that the mafia's stored by the bay. Rumor has it that someone's discovered that location and is intending on... borrowing our merchandise. I can't have that happen, you see. It's our produce, after all."

"Ah?! You can send someone else for something so small! Why can't you send the Black Lizards or something—"

"Oh, Chuuya-kun! I'm asking you because I know I won't have to ask again."

Chuuya hated taking orders from someone else, but he liked to believe he held some amount of agency in these areas. Letting out a long breath, Chuuya ended the call once accepting what needed to be done. It was simple enough, considering he didn't have anyone to kill or torture for information. As long as this meant he could work alone, Chuuya was glad. His life had reached a certain blissful limbo ever since Dazai's disappearance, not that he was complaining. Walking over to his hat, which was gracelessly laying on the floor, he felt the familiar smell reach his nostrils again—your smell, to be precise—and he almost froze as he reached to pick his hat. A sense of deja vu burned through his veins; strangely, these moments were occurring far too many times for him even to count. Some days, Chuuya could sense mornings repeat themselves, and nights disappear. Days would sometimes come to a standstill and sometimes, he'd lose them entirely. Time was breaking itself down rapidly, and sometimes, it grew numb.

Chuuya then did what Chuuya did best and ignored the entirety of it before letting his legs carry him to his next destination; he had always been a journey first, destination later type of guy, but Chuuya had mellowed down through the years. He wasn't the same free-spirited, arrogant 15-year old—he was now a man.

On reaching the bay Mori had mentioned, Chuuya's eyes narrowed when he spotted members of the Port Mafia having already been posted there. If people are here, then why'd Mori-san tell me to come here? Chuuya walked toward them before tapping a seemingly large man on his shoulder and waiting to hear from him.

"Ah, Chuuya-san! Thank goodness you're here!"

"What the f*ck's the hold up? If our guns are here, then just relocate—"

"We'd do that, but... there's a deranged person inside who's locked themselves in there! I think they've got an explosive and that could jeopardize everything! The guns, the dock, uh... Mori-san will—"

"Shut up, will ya?" If this was already annoying him, Chuuya could only wonder what the rest of the task would do. "Did you take a look at this deranged person?"

The man shook his head, "N-Not really. They've been here all morning, in fact."

"Oh? No one's seen this person get in?"

"I don't think so—"

"Tch, useless." Chuuya turned toward the entrance of the building and noticed how the shutters were closed.

"Also, one more thing, Chuuya-san," the man admonished, "There was a letter that was slipped out of the shutter. It was addressed to you."

This got his attention. Addressed to me? That's why Mori-san sent me here. Chuuya took the slip of paper before opening it, and on it was written with a neat cursive — 'I'm willing to speak to only Nakahara Chuuya, not anyone else. You do not know my ability, so if anyone approaches the building apart from him, I'll blow this place up.' A smirk landed on his face at the seemingly suicidal note that this person had written, and half of his mind wondered if it was Dazai who had played this ridiculous scheme. Letting out a breath, he waved his hand before walking toward the building and standing right in front of the shutters.

"Alright," He said loudly, "Open the damn shutters. It's me. Nakahara Chuuya!"

When the shutters did open, Chuuya stepped inside without a second thought; once he took close to six or seven steps inside, the shutters closed right behind him, keeping the light away. His eyes didn't waver, though. He had spotted the person in question's silhouette before the light left the room.

"This is mighty stupid," Chuuya said, laughing, "Blackmailing the Port Mafia? You're some idiot, aren't ya?"

"It isn't blackmailing, really," Came a familiar voice, and Chuuya froze. "It was a bad calculation, is all. I got a tip that there were illegal weapons here and I wanted to find out myself if that was true, but little did I know..." You stepped out of the shadow, with a sweet smile plastered over your face, "...that the Port Mafia was involved. By the time I could think of a justification, I trapped myself here and willingly gave myself to you."

It took him a couple of seconds to register what to say. He wasn't always thrown for a toss, Chuuya was sometimes quick-witted, but you seemed to have that annoying wit that reminded him of a certain suicidal moron. Your smile was infectious. But then again, so was the plague.

"You're not very smart, are you?" Chuuya countered with a straight face.

You only tilted your head in that annoyingly sweet way and said, "It wasn't a problem last night, was it?"

Chuuya's face brightened at the sudden recollection of your interactions from the night before. He turned his face away from you, not before regretting the action since that caused you to laugh at his sudden change in behavior. Chuuya wasn't shy, he didn't have a shy bone in his body—but, Chuuya could be put in awkward situations that made him feel bashful. Once your laughter ceased, he noticed how sullen your expression got suddenly. A dim look of hesitance plastered all over your face and there it was again—the deja vu—he recalled someone having written in a book he had once read that deja vu was simply a remembrance of the future. But then why had your facial expressions struck a chord in him the way that it had? Letting out a sigh, he pulled his phone out of his pocket before dialing the one person who could end this.

"Mori-san? Yeah, it's me. The issue's solved."

As soon as he placed his phone back inside his pocket, Chuuya chose to accept what he was feeling right then. Yes, it had been a one night stand with you, but something had been altered in the due course of time that he had spent with you. Ever since he laid eyes on you drinking alone in that bar, wine that he knew was cheap and low-class, ever since he had offered to buy you wine that you swore you'd love more than the cheap stuff you were drinking, Chuuya knew that interacting with you was a poison that he willingly swallowed, as if his life was dependent on it. Your quirky smirks, the way your eyes crinkled at the pressure of his gaze, the way you licked your lips after tasting the wine he had recommended, the way your eyes widened at the tenacity of the flavor, and the way your eyes met his, just a moment after, and a smile crawled its way to where a surprised look was—Chuuya was quite aware what this feeling was.

But, you had gotten out of bed hours before he could open his eyes. You had run away from the possibility of Chuuya getting to see those very reactions from you again. If you had denied him those experiences in the future, could Chuuya even ask them from you? It felt deeply insulting that you didn't choose to give them to him yourself, but for some reason, Chuuya didn't mind taking another step forward.

"What is it? You want me to repay you for saving my life?"

Chuuya scoffed before straightening his posture. "That's right. You owe me."

Your eyes twinkled at the teasing tone of his voice, "Oh? And what is it that I owe you, Nakahara Chuuya-san?"

"A date," He said, almost too quickly, knocking the air right out of you, "I want a date."

You were staring at Chuuya as if you were a blind person staring at the sun for the very first time. You weren't just surprised at his blatant honesty, but you were surprised that he had outright asked you out as if it were some demand. There was no hint of hesitation lodged in his voice, but that was Chuuya; he never hesitated before doing something he was sure would result in success. You had to give him more credit than that, honestly. You would have honestly laughed if your heart wasn't accelerating like a fawn running for its life, but at the same time, you were glad. More or less.

"I'm... surprised."

Chuuya scoffed before turning around to leave, "Yeah, I don't like it when I wake up to an empty bed. If we f*cked last night, then I'd like to know it was stellar. Or I'd rather it doesn't happen."

If that's the premise, so be it, you thought, a soft smile etched on your face. A smile Chuuya had seen many times before but simply had forgotten. When you walked out of there, no member of the Port Mafia followed you or even gave you a stink-eye, you were left to wander on your own. However, a hand gripped your wrist just as you were about to leave—your eyes widened to see Chuuya's intense gaze burning yours.

"Not a word to anyone about this."

It took you a second to realize he was talking about the ammunition and not him asking you out. When you blushed right then, you were glad he didn't spot it; or if he did, he didn't make too much of it. There was no need to say anything more, you knew when to meet him and what time as well. Just as the previous night. Chuuya never had to wait three days to know if someone was interested; Chuuya took what he liked because, for the most part, it definitely liked him back as well.

Unlike what most people believed about Nakahara Chuuya, he hated being angry. Even though he sported a constant frown across his face that he seemed to carry with pride, anger was quite rare for him to carry around with it. Anger made him feel vulnerable, dangerous—in a way that he didn't like; it deprived him of control, agency, dominance; it was a paralyzing emotion that rendered him helpless. He didn't need anger to get anything done—in fact, Chuuya was beyond that. However, that night, when he waited two hours for you to show up and you didn't, Chuuya felt a different sort of anger.

An ire born out of devastating humiliation was no ire at all. It was a rage nestled in a dark place, reminding him of the Corruption that he desperately wished to forsake. Chuuya not only felt humiliated for being stood up, he felt a deep, growing sorrow—a sorrow that didn't involve tears or screaming but silence, which was the worst indicator. Quietly, he left the bar where he had first met you and walked out only to notice that it was raining. One of the things he prided about himself was his ability to deduce things quickly—sure, he wasn't as witty as Dazai was, not that he'd ever admit that, but he was smart where he needed to be. Recalling details about you that most people would have forgotten seemed simple not because he was as talented as he thought he was, no, it was because you were impossible to forget. A drug that he just couldn't shake off.

His legs then carried him toward an area that seemed so familiar that he felt a wave of nausea itch at his throat. Chuuya clawed at his collarbones to stop the feeling from spreading but the nausea had reached his head and he felt as uncomfortable as when he had too much wine in a single night, on an empty stomach. Reaching a particular door that screamed at him for some godforsaken reason, Chuuya didn't bother knocking; the confidence bubbled inside his chest alongside the nausea. He spotted you on the couch, a bottle of wine in your hands—the wine he had recommended to you the night before—and your eyes widen at his sudden appearance.

"Chuuya!?"

"You f*cking stood me up—"

"How did you remember where I lived?"

Perhaps it was your choice of words. He was always good at guessing what people meant from the words they use, it had always been a certain gift he carried with himself. However, Chuuya didn't care right then. The ire rendered him blind. He rushed to you and knocked the glass off your hands, having it spill all over the carpeted floor before grabbing your collar and pulling you close. He was seething but for some reason, just the sight of you—surprised and quite possibly drunk from the wine—burned down his ire as if it were embers sparking off a tree trunk on a rainy night. Your silky robe slid off his hands with ease as he let you go, before darting his gaze away from you.

"Chuu—"

"I don't f*cking understand it either, alright?" He said, eyes stuck to the spilled wine on the floor. "I don't understand what this is, I don't understand why I can't let it go. I've had sex with women whose names I don't even bother to remember, but I can't forget your stupid f*cking face, or your stupid f*cking smile or the way you annoy the crap out of me. I can't forget how you'd rather drink cheap wine at the store and drink the wine that I f*cking recommended to you in secret, so I know there's something there, alright?!"

"Chuuya, I'm sorry—"

He looked at you with a deep frown, "What is it, then? Was the sex bad? Was it me—"

Your hands sprung to his face and it hit him again—the wave of deja vu—the feeling of your skin against his; it was intoxicating. He breathed in deeply, trying to recollect where he had smelt you before for it to have become so deeply rooted in his mind.

"How is it..." You began to mutter something under your breath but Chuuya's hand lifted your chin and forced you to meet his gaze, "Chuuya, I... I'm sorry. It's not that. It's not any of that. You're amazing. You're... I love you."

His eyes widened. Words that he normally would have run away from suddenly felt like home—he swore he had heard them before. He had heard them, from you, a long time ago and the smell of it resonated with the way you carried yourself. Apricots and honey, a smell so utterly natural yet devastatingly intoxicating, Chuuya was certain that whatever it was had to be love; because if it wasn't, then he didn't know what love was. Moving in, Chuuya's lips captured your own, and your hands quickly reached his hair before pulling him closer as if your life depended on it. A lovely trick designed by nature, Chuuya used it to silence you from uttering words right then. There was no need for words when action spoke so loudly. It didn't take long for his hands to reach your neck, pasting your body to his; and for this to lead further to a place of no return. Not that you minded, of course.

When Chuuya woke up, he smelt you. There was no long-forgotten feeling, there was no remnant that he desperately needed to remember—there was just you. You were breathing beside him, eyes closed, mouth slightly open, looking as peaceful as he had ever seen you; a sight he believed he had seen many times before. The intensity of which made him wonder if this was what people meant when they said soulmates existed; perhaps, he knew you in a past life, and had reunited with you in this one. Whatever it was, he felt content. His hand reached to brush a strand of stray hair off your cheek before noticing you inch closer toward him, blinding him with your scent again.

As established before, Chuuya was good at guessing what people meant by the choice of their words. He instantly remembered something odd that you had let loose the night before, something that made him wonder if there was a reason why he felt so intensely for you. Reaching forward and placing his hand at the back of your head, he pulled you to his neck, feeling your arms wrap around his naked chest. Chuuya's gaze fixed at the wall behind you before trying to decipher just what you had meant by 'How did you remember where I lived?'

A second later, you stirred before looking up at him and he cocked an eyebrow at your emotionless stare.

"God help me..." You said, "You're so pretty."

"Don't call me pretty." He argued, and you swore he could kill you with his morning voice and you'd be glad.

"Hey," He began, clearing his throat, "What did you mean by... what you said yesterday?"

"That I love you? Aw, Chuuya... Don't you know what that means?"

"No, you idiot. You asked me how I remembered where you lived. Why would you ask me that unless I..." His eyes widened. "Unless I somehow forgot..."

"Wrong choice of words, I guess. Forgive me, I was down three glasses of wine before you got here."

Chuuya laughed at your words right then before pulling you closer, feeling more content with your explanation than the gnawing suspicion that raged inside his brain. He wondered if love was an emotion that would constantly have him question every action, every thought, and every moment that occurred, but what did he know of love?

But then again, what didn't he?

Blissful days were cursed, or so he believed; Chuuya noticed how quickly they passed. He could, on some occasions, watch the days as they passed, exiting his body and seeing himself interact with the everydayness of things. The only thing that brought him life was to return home to you. Even with the ever-growing blissfulness, Chuuya didn't malinger. However, he couldn't shake off the feeling that every word that exited your mouth was a red herring—something that you were deviating from a fact that he had missed. He hated feeling like he was missing an important detail, but each time you smiled at him or stole a kiss, Chuuya was taken back to the very moment he fell for you.

Suddenly, as if his mind was taking him somewhere else, he recalled something. He didn't know if it was entirely a made-up scenario or something that happened in a past life because if it happened in this one, he'd have remembered. He spotted you, stumbling in front of a broken wine bottle, the owner of the store screaming in your ear—and you were trying to sound convincing. Chuuya watched himself walk over to you, and turn to the owner of the store before quickly understanding what had happened. You had dropped an expensive bottle of wine, and you had no means to pay for it; it caused him to chuckle a tad bit before throwing some money (or more) at the owner, causing you to turn to him with wide eyes. "It's alright," he had said to you, "I've got money."

Chuuya watched as he walked away from you, but missed how you had removed one of your shoes and thrown it at the back of his head. He froze before turning to you with a deadly expression, but instantly blinked when he noticed how heavily you were blushing before thinking, 'Holy shit, she's cute,' before having you walk over to him and scream—

"What do you think you're doing, pretty face?"

Chuuya stared at you as you chopped onions without shedding a single tear; he had no clue how you had learned to art to do so, but boy, was he glad you knew how to cook. You reached forward before using your wrist to wipe off a tear from his eye, scrunching a bit before realizing the onions must have done it. You giggled before turning back to them, chopping them quietly. That wasn't it, Chuuya thought, narrowing his eyes. That wasn't how he met you. He met you at the bar, where he spotted you drinking cheap wine and he walked over to you and recommended something else. He didn't meet you in a wine store—he didn't have a shoe thrown at the back of his head. Yet... His hand reached the back of his head and his fingers grazed the area where the shoe supposedly landed, It feels like it actually happened.

He shook his head before entwining his hands around your waist, before kissing the back of your neck. He wasn't usually so affectionate, but you didn't mind. Every time Chuuya touched you, it left scorch marks that were welcome; it was passion breathing fire, reflecting the color of his hair, the aura of his heart.

"What're you thinking?" You hummed, unaware of how intensely Chuuya was watching you.

"Nothin'."

Blissful days were cursed, Chuuya knew this for a fact. He could watch happy days pass by with him barely breathing, existing, feeling; but the bad ones lasted ages. He remembered walking into his own home one day, drenched in blood, covered with soot and mud, the urge to feel human contact was strong just then. He knew he could call you, he knew that he could rely on you especially since you had said the words 'I love you' to him over and over again, despite him having not said it in return. He wondered if that bothered you, he wondered if that made you want to leave him but you made no sign so far that you were displeased. He watched you like a hawk, after all, with that growing suspicion that drowned him on nights like these. He rang you in a moment, before feeling the phone vibrate next to his ear, his eyes ghosting on a dark patch in front of him. He needed your hands, your body, the smell of your hair; he needed the familiar apricot and honey to cover his nostrils whole. He needed you, just before asking you why you lied.

"Chuuya? It's 4 a.m., what's—"

"I need to see you."

You were quiet on the other end, wondering if he had figured it out. He must've, you thought, a bitter smile formed on your lips.

"I'll be there in—"

"No," He wasn't going to risk it, "I'm coming to you."

Your eyes glanced all over Chuuya's bloodied appearance before hearing the sound of your heart break—it was a soft sound, like a twig snapping under the weight of a stone. Your heart fell as he gave you his hat and removed his coat before you threw it into the wash. You led him to the bathroom, having him strip, and let him sit aside while you filled the tub. You knew he was watching you, you knew he was going to tell you the very same thing he had always told you.

"We need to stop this."

You didn't know why, but you laughed. Every single time that it had happened before, you had cried and asked him for an explanation, or even threw things at him—but this time, you laughed. This time, you desperately tried being away from him until he magically appeared at your home, shocking you to your very core at how your powers were slowly slipping off of him. You turned to spot Chuuya's eyes fixed at your form before a nasty frown formed on his face. You touched his cheek before whispering, "The bath's ready."

He sat in the water before letting out a groan, indicating that this was what he needed before he could reprimand you and leave you once again. However, just as you were about to leave, his hand gripped your wrist, another action that shocked you, and he stared at you.

"Wash my hair."

You nodded wordlessly before following through with it, wondering where this was going. All the other times, Chuuya would leave instantly after saying those words. All the other times, he'd ensure that he wouldn't see you for another month or so—before realizing that he had never met you. You weren't a cruel person, you were just desperately in love, having uncovered an ability that you thought could save you from torment. Yet, it presented more than it took away. One of the things you admired most about Chuuya was his hair, of how soft and luscious it was despite it being coated with blood on many days. You admired how well he took care of himself on the days that he could, and how he'd managed to put on that responsibility to you as well. You only began taking care of yourself because of him; and in a way, he had saved you.

"I..." Here it comes. "I didn't meet you for the first time at the bar, did I?"

You were quiet. But, silence at an occasion such as this was admittance.

"I've met you for the first time an exact three times. When you broke the wine bottle, and when you were scrambling around during a case, that's when I learned you were a journalist. And then... And then the bar,"

You didn't answer.

"I was chasing this guy, this..." He leaned his head over and sighed, "...this guy who ran off from the Port Mafia with some documents or some shit. He... He found you, and I... I thought I lost you," You couldn't tell if he was angry or just overwhelmed, "That's when I left you for the first time."

"Chuuya..."

"I left you one more time after. I can't remember everything..." His eyes met yours, steady and intense, "...and that's thanks to you, isn't it?"

"Chuuya, I—"

"You have an ability," He said, finally, "An ability to make people forget you."

You sat there, behind him, with your hands sunken in his locks. Your heart was rummaging against your chest and you bit your lip enough to draw blood; if he asked you why what could you say? Was there even a reason why you did what you did? Despite having him forget you for a total of three times, he had somehow magically returned, somehow asking for more and staying longer than he did before. It was almost a curse than anything else. The more you used your ability on someone, the less of an effect it would have each time. It was only a matter of time Chuuya figured things out. And now he had.

After the bath, he silently wore a change of clothes that you surprisingly had. He wanted to ask if this was from the first or second time he had met you, but he didn't. He turned to spot you standing a few feet away, before meeting his gaze.

"You did that for me, didn't you?" He was expressionless. To see Chuuya this way broke your heart. "So that it doesn't bother me."

"Also because I genuinely wanted you to stay away from me." You let out a laugh.

"I didn't f*cking stay away, did I?" He demanded, taking a step toward you, "No matter what stupid trick you used, I kept coming back!"

"You were the one who left first." You snapped, gritting your teeth.

Chuuya bit back his words for a moment before turning away. This action always melted your heart, when Chuuya turned away from you because you had stolen his words away.

"Things are different now, aren't they?"

"Yeah," They were different. He didn't leave. "Yeah, they are."

Silence followed a deep revelation such as this. His eyes didn't leave yours and you stared right back—it almost reminded him of the shoe-throwing incident. He chuckled before earning a frown from you.

"For being played around like that, I should be the one glaring at you." He scoffed.

"Chuuya, I love you."

It was at that second he remembered something. He believed you'd leave him because he hadn't told you he loves you or even bothered to say it back even when you had said it multiple times before already. However, at that second, he remembered that the first person to say those words between the two of you was Chuuya himself. I'm not going to leave, he thought before letting out a breath. He kissed the side of your head before wrapping an arm around your waist.

"Don't f*cking do that again." He scolded you.

"I could have stayed away from you each time, but you're like... a disease." You laugh.

He rolled his eyes before raising his voice, "Who're you callin' a disease?! If anything, you're a goddamn manipulator. F*cking stupid."

He rested his head on your shoulder before smelling the apricot and honey attached to your skin. It was just as intoxicating as the first time.

"I ain't leaving so..." His voice was muffled with how his mouth was pressed to your shoulder, "...I love you too."

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jams-sims · 4 years

Text

I decided I'll also post the Mayzuketober here as well.

1 and 2 combine; First meeting and Milkshakes~

Zuke had made his way through the double doors of his college. His usual vibrant blue hair, was singed smoke still rising from his burnt ends. The crisp night air greeted him. The campus was unusually silent. Maybe because they were all inside enjoying Nadias interactive gallery. The day had began with excitement. Now ended with Zuke hunched over behind a tree. The combination of wanting to throw up and cry washed over him in waves.

You should go back inside and say sorry to Nadia.

You know how hard she worked for this- you both worked really hard. . .

What are you even talking about you've been debating dumping her for weeks, you're just a wack coward.

Malicious thoughts rushed through Zukes head. Threatening to consume him whole- what kind of boyfriend runs out on their girls big day.

"Hey are you-"

"Ah!" Zuke nearly launched out of his skin. There was a gentle hand on his shoulder, before he whipped around to face the voice.

It was a girl he hadn't seen on campus before. Even in the dark he could make out her weird ponytail mohawk. Only a single braid down the side of her head, maybe she was growing out her hair. Her hand hang, limply in the air before she brought it back down to her side. Gripping a strap across her chest.

"Are you okay? You looked like you were crying."

Zuke subconsciously reached up to touch his cheek. He hadn't even noticed his eyes growing wet with stress nor the tears that had been rolling down his face. He tried to bounce back, quickly wiping his face with the back of his sleeves.

"Nah- just had a little something in my eye. " If the girl in front of him didn't believe him she didn't say anything. She just smiled and grabbed his hand.

"As I see it- we both could use a nice cold drink!" Her energetic smile was infectious as she pulled him. Quickly his mind caught up to what she was saying.

"Drinks? Don't you think it kinda late for-" Zuke was quickly cut off by the girl tugging him along. Zuke wasn't up for crowded bars and loud music. Although some loud music would at least drown out all the negative voices in his head. The momentum didn't stop, leaving zuke little room to say anything. And all the room to be taken wherever this girl wanted to go. As they passed under flickering street lights. He could catch glimpses of the girls shirt. A large black tank top with a woman ragging on fire. Kul Fyra?

"Here we are!" She said cheerfully, zuke looked at the shop front exasperated. It wasn't a ragging riot, but a small mom and pop shop. Affordable food and open into the wee morning. The perfect spot for any drunk college student. When they walked inside they were warmly welcomed. The girl walked up to the counter like she owned the place.

"I'll have a strawberry milkshake!" The girl said, Zuke stared down at the various flavors and settled on.

"Chocolate milkshake for me please."

The young bouncy blonde girl took their orders and the girl Zuke had been dragged along with. Found a seat in the back of the little shop. Zuke fell into his seat, rubbing his hands over his face.

Silence passed between until, "feeling any better?"

Zuke looked up at the girl from his hands, for once seeing her in good lighting. Her eyes were so bright, like little flowers or orange slices. With her words flooded him with guilt. Did he really become some poor girls problem? Because he couldn't open his mouth fast enough. Now was the perfect time for an existential crisis, and before their drinks even came out.

"Jeez- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Don't worry about it!" She smiled, "I mean they don't call me Mayday for nothing."

". . ." Zuke raised an eyebrow in a little confusion and curiosity.

She- Mayday fiddled with her thumbs a little. It was clear, she was trying to cheer him up. He couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"So your name is Mayday?"

"Yup!"

"Well Mayday, My name is Zuke it's nice to meet you."

Just as they began talking their drinks were placed in front of them. Who would have thought. All he needed was a sugary drink to make the night go from a nightmare to alright. The hum of the ice soft served ice cream machine filled the air with blissful static noise.

"Ya know you never answer my question~"

"Huh oh- what was it again?"

"How are you feeling ya big goof. You looked less than good when I ran into you."

"Ahah- I. . I feel better actually. Thank You Mayday. You really didn't have to do all this." Zuke said as he pushed his half finished drink further onto the table. Anymore and he felt like he may burst, he had been watching Mayday from the corner of his eye. She had sucked down her milkshake in the quarter of the time it took him to finish half.

"It's fine! I could never leave someone who obviously upset alone." Mayday said as she finished her drink.

"I never understood how people could just step over another. Sometimes- sometimes people just need a little company."

God, he wish he could be that positive. Zuke couldn't help but look down at his glass, a little smile playing on his lip.

"Yeah," he started as he looked up at Mayday. " you're right, a little company does help."

As his eyes lingered on her face, he noticed that strap that was once wrapped around her chest. Now was placed on the back of her chair. A bright pink-

"Guitar. . "

Mayday seemed to perk up at that. Zuke tried not to be a awkward mess and follow up his outburst.

"You- uh play guitar?"

"Yes I do! It's my passion! I don't go anywhere without it~"

"Any good at it?"

"Am I any good at it!?" The look of offense on her face was priceless.

"I'll show you any good at it!-" Mayday almost toppled over her chair as she rushed to get up. Only to be quickly cut off by the same bouncing blonde. This time the cheer was replaced with customer service stern look.

"Mayday, remember our rules are no impromptu rock sessions."

"Ugh!" Mayday flopped back down into her seat crossing her arm.

"Hah- haha!" Zuke tried to cover his mouth to stop the laughter.

"Hey! Don't laugh at me! I gotta prove my skills somehow!"

"Heh- the fact they have a special rule for no rocking tells me all I need to know."

She tried her hardest not to laugh alongside him but ultimately failed. The silence came back like a gentle blanket.

"So did you wanna talk about why you were stuck between a trashcan and a tree."

Zuke choked on his chocolate milkshake he was nursing on.

"Uh yeah. . " Zuke rubbed the back of his head.

If you asked Zuke 6 years later, how he became friends with Mayday. How could he deal with her hot headed behaviour. Because underneath all that is someone who listens. That cares about everyone, even if her hotheadedness- gets her into trouble.

"I've had a bad day-" Zuke paused, "No more like a really bad couple of months."

"Wanna talk about it?" Mayday asked sliding her empty glass from hand to hand.

"I doubt you wanna hear about my problems and I'm kinda still processing. . .everything."

"No worries! I- uh just wanted to make sure you knew people care." Oh she was trying so hard as she stumbled over her words. Zuke broke out in a laugh again.

"Thank you May-" Zuke wiped a tear from his eye.

"I think I owe you for taking care of me tonight."

"Aw yeah! You can owe me a milkshake! I can't get enough of this place."

"Phft, next time milkshakes are on me. And Maybe I'll get to hear you rock out as well."

"Hell yeah! I still gotta prove my great guitar skills! I'mma blow you out of the water Zuke!"

"Not if my drums skills drown you out-" the look on her face when Zuke mentions drums. Was like if two stars collided into each other.

" You play the drums!?"

"Yes I do~"

" We sooo! Gotta jam together! I can't believe I met someone else who plays an instrument!"

Mayday vibrated in her sit, and for once Zuke hadn't thought about the show. The unfortunate hair event, or his brother. She really did take over his whole world. Even if they didn't meet again until the end of college.

#nsr #no straight roads #bunkbedshipping #nsr mayday #nsr zuke

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bnhaisliterallymylife · 4 years

Text

Take a Chance on Us (Pt. 2)

I honestly have no idea how long this will be, but considering it’ll be going through some high school and then adulthood, it might be long. Might get smutty later (much later, adult years later), which is why I have to say this fic is 18+. Like everything else on my blog, actually.

Paring: Young Yandere!Erasermic x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Depression, Some Coercion, Cursing

Word Count: 2,609

(Part One)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And you came to see me to thank me? I thought you would’ve been mad.” He looked kind of mad to you yesterday. Why the sudden change?

“You healed him, and you thought he would be mad?”

“That’s idiotic.”

“Shou, be nice!”

You didn’t quite understand how this was happening right now. You did one good deed, granted it was more of an urge due to your quirk that you can’t resist, but still a good deed. The way he had glared at you made you think that he was never going to want to see you again. He shouldn’t be here, much less with his friend.

“Are you okay?” You snap out of your temporary daze when Hizashi waves his hand in front of your face.

“I’m fine, just processing.” You laugh nervously.

“Processing?” The blonde quirks a brow.

“Uh, yeah. Processing.” The silence that follows makes you wish that you had never been born. “I should probably be headed inside, it’s pretty chilly for this time of the year and I’d hate to catch a-” Before you can finish that thought, you feel something being draped over your shoulders. A black, leather jacket.

“There! No more worrying!” Now it’s like you can’t help but smile yourself; Hizashi’s grin is contagious. “I also wanted to thank you myself, he gets himself in a lot of trouble when I’m not around. S’nice to know someone else cares.”

“It was more of a compulsion than anything.” You try to blow it off as nothing, like it didn’t matter, but they clearly didn’t think that.

“You could have kept walking.” Shouta states matter-of-factly. “But you didn’t.”

“Well I... I just don’t like seeing other people in pain.” Your eyes are on the ground as you say this, as if it was a bad thing for you to admit. You didn’t expect the boisterous laughter to come out of the lively boy sitting to your left.

“And you think that’s a bad thing!?” He asks, dipping his head down so he can look into your eyes. His shades are dipping down onto his nose a little bit. He has to have some of the prettiest, brightest green eyes you have ever seen in your life. And his face it too close.

Finally, you decide to move away from the two teens and start gathering your things.

“No, not bad, it’s just that not everyone appreciates it. I gotta go, but thanks for taking the time to thank me! It was nice.” You don’t need someone to see you with them and further the rumors that were already spreading about you. They’re nice boys, and it feels great to have people to talk to after being alone for so long, but you can’t do this. You can’t risk things becoming worse. You reach for your bag, only for one strong hand to grasp at your wrist.

“Wait.” You stop at Shouta’s command, now gazing into his seemingly endless eyes. He has such an intense stare, so intimidating to you that you can’t help but relinquish to his request. “Have lunch with us tomorrow.”

“What?” He wants you to join them for lunch?

“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea! It’s gotta be lonely sitting out here to eat.” They weren’t wrong, it did get lonely for you. “And besides, I can make a mean sandwich!”

“He does.”

You don’t know what to think about this. One the one hand, it’s nice to have people who actually want to spend time with you again. On the other hand, you know those rumors are going to ramp up and things might only get worse for you...

“Okay.” You agree with a tiny smile. “But you don’t have to make me anything, I make my own lunches.”

“Nah, it’s not a problem and I wanna give ya a real thank you for helping out my boyfriend.” Boyfriend.

“You’re together?” The words come out before you can stop them, and suddenly you feel incredibly rude. The might have just invited you to have lunch with them, but that didn’t mean you could invade on their personal lives. “I’m sorry, that was really rude and I didn’t mean-”

“You aren’t being rude.” Shouta rolls his eyes. “You’re just being curious.”

“And yes, we’re happily together~!” Hizashi sings out the last part, leaning against his boyfriend with one arm draped around his shoulders. “So no need to feel like you were pestering us!” Well, that makes you feel a little better.

“Okay, if you say so.” You glance at the time again, realizing that you actually do need to get going. “I’ll see you both tomorrow, then!” You give them another small smile before rushing off to your next class, now feeling some anticipation for the next day.

The two boys behind you watch you run off in a hurry silently, waiting until you’re clear out of earshot before they start talking.

“She’s a nervous thing, huh?”

“Yeah. Too trusting, too.” Shouta doesn’t like that. People who put too much trust in others get hurt, or worse. His mind flashes briefly to Shirakumo, but he shoves those memories back. It’s too fresh. Almost as if Hizashi could sense what his boyfriend was feeling, he brings up a hand to brush through his long hair and presses a soft kiss to his cheek.

“It’s alright. She’s in general studies, it won’t be like that.”

“Still.” The concern is there, and both of them had a right to be concerned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You honestly didn’t think they were too serious about the lunch, or maybe you thought that they would change their minds by the time today rolled around. But, when you see Hizashi excitedly waving his hand at your through the crowded hallways the next day, you knew that there was going to be now way out of it now.

Fuck.

“Heya (Y/L/N)!” He pushes through a group of first year boys, all of which were now staring at you with piercing gazes. This is the opposite of what you had wanted.

“Hey, Yamada.” Just keep it casual. “Are we still doing lunch today?”

“Uh huh! I made something real special for our little rendezvous.” There are a few more looks cast your way, making your face burn.

“Can we maybe not call it that?”

“Call it what? A rendezvous?” He cocks his head a little to the right, sunglasses tipping down on his nose. “That’s kinda what it is, right?” Well, he’s not really wrong, but it might give others different ideas.

“Yeah, it’s just a, ah… Casual lunch between school peers?”

“Casual lunch between school peers?” When he repeats it, you insistently nod your head. What you don’t expect is the big smile and laughter that he’s clearly trying to hold back. “Okay then, if you say so.” The playful twinkle in his eyes doesn’t make your situation much better.

“Great. So, see you later?”

“Yep! Later!” With that, you go your separate ways, hoping to avoid another encounter for the rest of the school day. All you have to do is make it through lunch today, and that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Unfortunately for you, the boys who took notice of what happened in the hallway spread things around. You might not be in the same class as your bully, but you know that by the time the end of the day rolls around she’s going to know about it. The rumors didn’t have anything to them before, but now that you actually have two third years seemingly interested in you, even if they were already with each other, your reputation would be entirely ruined. So, you trudge around for the rest of the morning, avoiding the whispers and curious stares of your classmates until it was finally time for lunch.

You had entirely forgotten to ask them where you were supposed to meet them for this ‘Casual Lunch Between School Peers’. You assume that they would likely want to meet up in the cafeteria and eat there, but the thought of all of the students in your class seeing you with them makes your stomach twist and turn. Did you really need to make matters worse than they already were? Your hands fist up at the bottom of your skirt. All you can do now is stand in the now empty classroom, listening the laughter of your peers just outside. They are all so happy, carefree, acting like they don’t torment you on a near daily basis.

You have to take a deep breath to compose yourself. Not right now. If you allowed yourself to drown in those negative thoughts, then you would be stuck in the classroom all day. So after composing yourself, you start to walk out of the classroom with the intention of getting this whole fiasco over with, when a voice startles you out of your thoughts.

“What took so long?” Shouta is leaning against the door to your right, arms crossed, and a brow raised at you. “It’s been five minutes; I was about to come in after you.”

“I’m sorry! I was working on a project and I must have been too in my head, I lost track of time.” It’s an obvious lie, but you do your best to play it off like you’re telling the trust. His eyes narrow, but thankfully he doesn’t question it any further.

“Come on, we don’t have all day.” Shouta pushes off from the wall and starts to walk off, prompting you to follow after him. Since you waited in the classroom, you thankfully don’t have to deal with the prying eyes of everyone else. It almost makes you breathe a sigh of relief.

“Is Yamada already in the lunchroom?”

“We’re not eating in the lunchroom.” You could almost cry at your luck. “We’re eating outside where we found you yesterday. Would you rather eat in the lunchroom?” You shake your head, and he leaves it at that. He’s a lot less pushy than Hizashi had been with you earlier in the morning, the two clearly have differing personalities.

“If it’s okay to ask, how did you and Yamada up together?” You may as well get to know them if you’re going to be having lunch with them. And besides, Shouta seems like the type to get to the point.

“It just happened.” He shrugs, giving you such a vague answer that it’s impossible for you to form a picture of their relationship in your mind. Shouta seems to have the ‘tough guy’ exterior, whereas Hizashi seems to wear his emotions on his sleeve. They say opposites attract, so you guess that could be what happened in their case.

“When did it happen?” You don’t mean to be pushy… Well, you do actually. If they were going to make you have lunch with them, then you could at least have this.

“Last summer.”

“Did he ask you out?”

“No.”

“So, you did?”

“Yes.” You didn’t think he would be the one to approach with his feelings, but it shows that you might have been right about one thing; his interior is softer than his exterior.

“Why did you ask him out?”

“Because I wanted to. Are we done playing twenty questions?”

“Maybe, we’ll see.” You give him a little grin, and are surprised when the boy actually gives you something resembling a smile as well.

“You’re strange.”

“And yet you suggested all of us having lunch together.”

“I’m not regretting it yet.” You wouldn’t say it out loud, but those words kind of made your heart flutter. Not in a romantic way, but platonically. When is the last time you were able to quip back and forth with a friend? When was the last time you felt this kind of joy with another person around your age? The feeling felt so foreign to you.

“I was startin’ to think you two weren’t coming!” Hizashi’s voice calls out as you two approach. You see the three little bentos sitting next to him, wondering what he made. He doesn’t seem to want to leave you in suspense, because the moment you sit down he hands you the one that he tied up in a pretty, two-inch wide blue bow.

“Do you always make it look so nice?”

“Only when I wanna.” He watches you intently, waiting for you to open the box. Shouta is already digging into his, but the blonde just sits and waits until you tug on the ribbon so you can remove the lid. The contents of the bento were… Adorable.

First of all, the onigiri were downright cute in your eyes. He went out of his way to make the little white triangles have cute, blushy faces that actually resemble the two boys she’s now sitting between. Granted, he arranged the blonde hair for himself out of carrots, and Shouta’s hair out of seaweed, so it wasn’t exactly accurate. Between the two of them was a little heart made of tamagoyaki, all sitting on top of a bed of a broccoli, noodles, and karaage chicken.

“How long did this take to make?”

“Does it matter?”

“Well, I mean, this feels like a lot.”

“You healed up my man, I figured you deserved a lot for that.” When you look at him he is happily eating his own lunch, seeming very satisfied with himself. That is, until he notices your stare and his smile fades just a little. “You don’t like it?”

“No, I like it, it’s just that I’m not very used to this kind of thing.” You don’t want Hizashi to think you’re ungrateful.

“Why not? Don’t your friends do things like this for you?”

“Well…” You trail off, picking around at the food.

“Well? Don’t hesitate, just answer.” Shouta scolds, both of their piercing gazes now on you.

“I… I don’t really have friends. I mean, nobody really ever talks to me.” You don’t want to elaborate any further on it, they don’t need to get involved in your business. Besides, it might only make things worse.

“Why? You’re such a nice girl, I can’t see why anyone wouldn’t like ya.”

“You’re not that strange.” They both seem to be leaning in now, pushing the answers out of you.

“It’s not that I’m strange, I just made an enemy of the wrong person I guess. But it’s okay, I don’t mind being alone.” That’s a complete and total lie, and it shows.

The two boys both seem to fall silent at that comment, but they were thinking the same thing; they don’t want you to feel alone. You were kind when you didn’t have to be, you helped Shouta and then acted like there was nothing to thank you for. You, this sweet person, somehow made an enemy with someone that prevented you from having friends? That doesn’t sit well with either of them. Hizashi feels even more concerned about you then he did before, meanwhile Shouta was mentally making a reminder to find the person making life harder on you later on.

“You know, if ya don’t wanna be alone, we’re here.”

“He has a point.” Their words fill you with some hope, but you knew that it wouldn’t last. Even if you do become friends with them, they’re going to graduate soon. After that, you’ll just be left alone again, and with the same cruel students that are giving you hell right now.

“You don’t have to.” You tell them this, acting like you’re some kind of nuisance.

“We’re aware.” Shouta says.

“We don’t have to, but we want to! That’s what good friends are for, right?”

#take a chance on us #yandere!erasermic #yandere #erasermic #shouta aizawa #aizawa #aizawa x reader #hizashi x reader #erasermic x reader #hizashi yamada #bnha #mha

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solasan · 4 years

Note

28 for june/adam úwù

#28: one person tracing the other’s lips with a fingertip until they can’t resist any longer, tilting their chin towards them for a kiss

2.7k, set in early book 3, ao3 link if you’d rather read it there

Over the years, Adam has often heard it said that history has a habit of repeating itself. Be that in small ways or larger ones, it would seem that some souls simply find themselves walking the same paths without forethought or awareness; that some events cling too strongly to the earth to be entirely washed away, no matter how hard the world around them might try.

Adam puts little stock in most belief systems. Perhaps the closest label he might ascribe to would be ‘atheist’, but even that is a mere afterthought; he is not Nate, and he has had plenty of time to grow bored with philosophy and religion.

And yet. Even he must admit that, in this one small analysis, the world is not wrong; history does repeat itself.

The Unit have not been so relegated to protection detail since their first arrival in Wayhaven. It has been only a matter of months since those days — barely a blink of an eye, compared to his lifespan — and yet the return to such a routine is… galling. Incongruent. Bizarre.

So much has changed. Murphy. The Maa-alused. The carnival itself.

June.

The detective, he means. She has — they have all — changed.

Still. Cycles. The world has only one way to turn. The enemy has come, as they always do, and once more he and his team are left to protect the thing their foe wants most.

The Trappers are not Murphy, perhaps, but in the end, the result is the same.

Farah and Nate have spent the most time guarding the detective as of late. Morgan’s senses are too invaluable to spare when she could be patrolling the town for threats, after all, and Adam—

Well. He has had his own work. His own patrols. And he has always been better suited to working from a distance, these past few months notwithstanding.

Still, Adam du Mortain has never been a man to shirk his duty. And, whatever efforts the others might make on her behalf, he knows that the detective will never be as well protected as she will be with him.

By which, of course, he means that he is the strongest of their team. He means that he is capable of feats that the others simply are not. He does not mean— It is not—

You understand.

It’s a brisk morning, for all that they’re cresting summer now, and the detective spends the entire walk to Haley’s Bakery with her hands in her pockets, huffing out misty breaths and dancing on her feet for warmth.

She’s replaced her much-beloved denim jacket with something thicker, puffier, something that rustles every time she moves, and it makes her look somehow smaller than she already does. As though her usual oversized hoodies do not complete the job well enough.

They do not talk. They have not talked, not properly, not since—

Well. Since the carnival, perhaps. And to look at her, you would not know it; she still smiles at him, still jokes and laughs and shines like the sun made flesh, but there is something… wooden to it, now. As though she is waiting, every moment, for it to fall apart.

Her pulse still skips to look at him. Not as much as it had that night, their palms brushing, her radiating warmth at his side, but— but it happens.

And he is a fool for encouraging it.

They pass through the door to the bakery as Adam is still flagellating himself, the bell ringing somewhere above their heads and the scent of pastry and coffee filling the air. And under these fluorescent lights, the detective blooms.

“Honey, I’m home!”

The baker is behind the counter, fussing with a display of cakes, but she straightens up when she sees them, turning a grin on the detective that is almost as bright as June’s own. “June! How’re you doing today?”

“I’m good. How’s my absolute favourite baker-slash-coffee-dealer on this cruel cold morning?”

The baker snorts. “You don’t have to butter me up, y’know.”

Detective Lovelace drapes herself over the counter as though it were a pillar of fine marble and not merely a sickly-smelling construction of glass and pine, batting those big brown eyes at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Her grin — in a feat Adam would previously have thought impossible had he not known her these past months — widens.

The baker rolls her eyes with a good-natured smile, darting a curious look Adam’s way that is soon redirected by his stony silence. “Right.”

Then, wiping her hands off on the striped apron across her front, she says, “your usual?”

“Fuck yeah. You’re an angel, a light in the darkness. A goddess among women. A Titaness.”

Her nose wrinkles as she heads for the coffee machine. “Titan— are you calling me fat?”

“I’m calling you beautiful, Hales, don’t get it twisted.”

The baker snorts again, shaking her head.

And then there’s a pause. Adam does very well with pauses, generally; he learned remarkably quickly how easily they could be ignored, favouring silence above small-talk even in his youth.

But this is— this is different. He cannot quite pin down why.

The detective clears her throat, then nudges him with an elbow. “Want anything, big guy? I’m buying.”

Adam takes a moment to reply, because the proximity, brief as it was, has her scent catching in his nostrils, drowning out vanilla and cinnamon with strawberries and cotton. He is used to the smell of nicotine and smoke by now, after so long with Morgan, but perhaps the detective smokes a different brand, because for a moment he finds himself dizzy.

The moment passes. He clears his throat, shakes his head, then says stiffly, “I’m fine.”

The detective’s brows rise. “You sure? Nate loves the blueberry muffins here.”

“I am sure.”

“Hm. Is that a Nate thing, then? Or, like— no wait, Farah loves junk food. Is this an Adam thing, then?”

He blinks at her for one very long moment.

Eventually, she rolls her eyes and clarifies quietly, leaning close again: “Y’know. Human food. Not liking it, or whatever?”

They are the only people in the bakery this early in the morning, and the baker is still preoccupied with the coffee machine, which is whirring loudly. If it had been otherwise, perhaps Adam would reprimand the detective, but she is… careful, here, as she so rarely is with anything else.

And so he allows himself to respond, “Nate and Farah are… different. For the rest of us, it is— unappetising, shall I say.”

The detective hums thoughtfully, eyes narrowing. Then her nose wrinkles. “Shit, dude. Sucks to be you, I guess. The four-cheese from Giuseppe’s is to die for.”

Adam’s lips twitch. “I shall have to take your word on that.”

“Yeah, guess you will. So, wait, why is it so unappetising? Is it just, like, by comparison? Is a good ole’ cup of O-neg just totally orgasmic, or something?”

Did— she cannot have just said what he thinks she has just said. Can she?

Of course she can, he thinks, meeting her dancing eyes. She’s June.

Adam shakes his head, aiming for chiding and falling short. “That… is not the word that I would use.”

The detective purses her lips. “You’re dodging the question, Agent du Mortain.”

“You ask poor questions, Detective Lovelace.”

She laughs and it is a startled sound, like a bird pushed from the nest, but it’s— goodness, it’s lovely. He has not made another person laugh in so very long. He had… forgotten, quite, just how thrilling it could be.

“Answer it anyway?”

Sighing as though he were greatly put-upon, he acquiesces, “our senses are— too refined for most foods that you would consume. It can be overwhelming.”

She processes this for a moment or two, her brows furrowing. Then: “Wow. And here I thought nothing could overwhelm you.”

June’s grin is cheeky, yes, but in a warm kind of way. A wonder. She is a wonder.

“Now, we both know that cannot be true.”

Her smile turns surprised, confused and just-slightly lopsided, and she blinks at him rapidly for a moment, her brow beginning to furrow.

Why would you say such a thing, you imbecile?

June’s mouth opens as though she were about to reply, and Adam is both dreading and waiting with bated breath for it—

“Here ya go.”

Adam flinches. The baker has set down a thickly-scented to-go cup of coffee, and she’s looking between them with the beginnings of a smile lurking at the corners of her lips, brow cocked.

His fists clench. He affixes his gaze to a spot over the baker’s shoulder, a part of the chalkboard where an old offer has been only-mostly scrubbed away, and very carefully thinks of nothing.

After a moment, the detective clears her throat. “Uh, yeah. Thanks, Hales. Purveyor of the precious bean juice.”

A huff masquerading as a laugh. “Anytime, June. You want anything else? Maybe something for your man here?”

Her man. What— what foolishness, what absolute madness. He is— Adam is no one’s man, and he is most certainly not the detective’s, whatever anyone else may think, however she might make him feel.

Not that she makes him feel anything in particular, of course, however much Nate might argue to the contrary. Not that his chest had jerked at the very idea of them being— of her and him— of the baker being correct in her utterly outlandish supposition.

The detective laughs, too loud and just an octave off-kilter. “You should do stand-up, Hales, you’d kill.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Adam won’t have anything. And I— just the coffee, you know me. I live off this shit. Like, uh— like zombies, only it’s caffeine instead of brains. The Walking Dead, Lovelace style.”

“Right.”

The baker rattles off a price and Detective Lovelace passes the cash over, and then they pause briefly at the condiments for her to spoon in one, two, three, four sugars.

“I can feel you judging me from here,” the detective comments on their way out the door, and Adam frowns.

“I am not judging you.”

“No, you totally are. You get this tiny little crease between your eyebrows when you’re judging something. And I should know, man, I’ve seen it, like, a gazillion times.”

His lips purse, and he makes a conscious effort to relax his forehead and smooth out his brow.

The detective snorts. Then, in sing-song: “I still saw it.”

He shakes his head. “I was merely thinking that things… make a great deal more sense now.”

“Hey, I am a grown-ass woman, du Mortain, and grown-ass women can have as many sugars in their coffees as they want.” And then, as if to prove her point, she takes a sip.

The urge to smile is one he only-barely manages to tamp down on. “So it would seem.”

“Glad we agree.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he glimpses her smile. All teeth and pink lips and dancing eyes. The early-morning sunlight is slanting over her face, seizing her bronze hair and setting her aflame. She really is just—

His foot catches on a cobblestone. It takes only a matter of milliseconds to right himself, but still. Adam has not tripped in— in decades. Centuries, perhaps.

“Woah there, old man,” the detective teases, knocking her side into his. “Don’t go breaking a hip there.”

He grumbles something unintelligible, shoulders tensing when she laughs.

“I am not going to break a hip.”

“No? Could’ve been quite the fall, man. And you’ve gotta be careful, y’know, in your twilight years. Ooh, double joke. Those are rare.”

Adam scowls. “I am hardly as breakable as your kind.”

She whistles lowly. “Damn, the human jabs are coming out. Must’ve been a nasty fall. Gonna tell me to get off your lawn next?”

“I should never have told you my age.”

The detective grins. “But’cha did.” And then, elbowing him again, she adds: “It was kinda funny, admit it.”

“I will do no such thing.”

“Oh, c’mon.” She steps into his path, grinning up at him without a care in the world. “Just a tiny bit? A little? A smidge?”

Despite himself, he feels his lips beginning to jerk. And he can hardly have that, so his scowl darkens and he shakes his head. “Detective.”

“Adam?” She bats her lashes.

And in the face of those big brown eyes and that sunshine-smile, his resolve crumbles. “Fine.”

“Fiiiiiine— what?”

“Fine.” He gives her a stern look, because perhaps he is willing to unbend for her, but only so far.

June pouts just slightly, and it is then that he becomes aware of the smudge of coffee at the corner of her mouth. Tiny, barely noticeable in fact, just a stain of deep brown lapping over part of her lip and some of the pale skin around it, but suddenly the only thing that he can see.

He clears his throat. “Ah. You have—”

“What?”

He gestures vaguely to his own mouth, and June blinks at him, wide-eyed, for a moment, as though he has done something truly obscene, before realisation hits and she laughs.

“Ah, shit. Thanks.” She tugs the sleeve of her hoodie out from her jacket and uses it to rub her lips roughly. “Gone?”

“No.” He points to the approximate spot on his own face again, and again she misses.

And then, easy as breathing, his hand is reaching out to catch her chin and he is wiping it away.

Her lips are— they’re soft. Warm. He can feel her breath against the pad of his thumb, and that is warm too. And she is wonderfully yielding under his touch, her teeth faintly solid through the meat of her lip on his up-swipe, mouth all pink and plush and lovely.

She smells like coffee now. Would she taste like it? It would be so easy to just lean forward and find out. To learn just how abominably sweet those four sugars really are. They would be bearable, he thinks, on these lips. DMB would be bearable on these lips.

Of its own accord, his thumb begins to trace the rest of her. The pretty swell of her lower lip, right in the middle; the other corner, her teeth flashing white behind it when he peels it down slightly; the fine curve of her cupid’s bow, sturdier than any archer’s. She is so soft. Almost fragile. Like china, only— only warmer.

Her throat bobs when she swallows.

Would she let him kiss her? Would she welcome him?

Would she kiss him back?

He cannot bear to meet her gaze just yet, but her breathing is a little uneven, and when he listens— yes, there it is. The stutter in her pulse that he has become so accustomed to, that he treasures so dearly. Her ears are pinking, too, a flush beginning to spread across the ripe apples of her cheeks.

Perhaps— perhaps she would?

When he has finally gathered his courage, he lets himself look her in the eye. And such splendid eyes they are too, darker than usual but so big, like a doe’s perhaps, her lashes all soft and wispy.

June blinks, pupils blacker than anything and so much bigger than he’s ever seen them. By God, they are so close now, she and he. Her breath just-barely brushes his chin with every exhale. He wants to feel that breath all over him, wants it against his lips, wants to taste it and commit it to memory so thoroughly that he will remember it a hundred years from now. A thousand.

His thumb has stilled, index and middle finger cradling her chin, and oh, it really would be hardly anything at all to tilt her head up. Just a little bit. Just enough that he would not need to stoop in half to meet her.

She swallows again, blinking rapidly, and her tongue darts out to wet the side of her mouth that he is not touching. Adam finds himself following it with his eyes, his need sitting so heavily in his chest that he can scarcely breathe.

And then she clears her throat; a creaky, hoarse sound, as though it were full of rocks. “Did, uh— did you get it?”

“Yes,” Adam croaks, snapping his hand back as though it had been burned. “I— yes.”

June nods as the world tidies itself into its proper perspective around her. “Right. Right. Cool. Uh— tha— yeah, thanks.”

“You are welcome,” he acknowledges roughly, not looking at her, rubbing his thumb over his fingers to make sure he does not forget her skin.

He cannot forget her skin.

#the wayhaven chronicles #my writing #ch: june lovelace #sh: du mortain x detective #stealmethenight #answered #thank u sm for the prompt i hope i did it justice !!!!!!#it's like entirely possible that this is unreadable but also theres two consecutive lines i popped off on soooo

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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The Loud House Reviews: The Boss Maybe/ Family Bonding

Loud House weekly coverage continues as Leni is pushed into the deep end of responsiblity and taking over Lori’s old role of babysitter while her parents are gone and promptly drowns in a sea of comedy clubs, human body parts both on screen and in the fridge, old men in holes and indoor beach volley ball.

First things first: Last week I forgot to mention Rusty’s mustache freezing off as god, wether it be the judeo-christian god, Odin, that prick Zeus, the flying spagehtti monster or one of many other gods out there. Perhaps all of them did it at once out of hatred for the little weiner. Maybe one of them finally answered my prayers which in that case, that was nice and all but there are far worse things going on i’d prefer you took care of. Also the “stuff I couldn’t fathom” turned out to be just more loudcest, because of course it did. Loudcest is like David Spade, you think it’s finally gone or isn’t doing as much but then it comes around and makes the wrong missy and you waste 90 minutes of your life thinking i’td be so bad it’s good when it’s really just boring and a waste of it’s main actress talent. I lost track of that metaphor, but Loudcest is like david spade in that people like it for reasons I can’t fathom and it hasn’t quietly faded into the background for reasons I can’t fathom, though at least david spade was funny once. So maybe Loudcest isn’t like david spade. or maybe i’ve been taking too long with this bit.

But whlie last week was a bit wonky it also had a lot to setup.. but now it’s time to see what the show does with all the setup over, and a lot of new possiblities ahead. PItter Patter!

The Boss Maybe Ah now this is exactly what I was hoping for this season. New situations brought about by the year-up and all the changes it brought, with the same old heart and humor and character progression that drew me back into the show. This is the kind of episode i love and have talked about in the past and dosen’t fall into any of the shows usual pitfalls in the process. Just great. I could end it there but I haven’t shut up before why do it now. So this episode focuses on Leni who I talked about a bit last week and easily had the best plot and in general tends to have good episodes, both before and after the show became an ensemble piece, and even in episodes without her tends to slide in just fine. She’s always a nice breath of fresh air when she shows up.

I think that’s due to a number of things. For one it’s how sweet a person she is: She’s genuinely nice, kind and well meaning. While she is dumb as a box of rocks that resemble Pauly Shore, what I like is her stupidity isn’t malicious, or overused for misery. She causes comical injuries from time to time with it but she’s quick to apologize iff she realises it and usualyly has no ill will to anybody unless provoked or fighting Lori over a dress despite them wearing the same clothes all the time. I know standard animation thing but it’s always weird to me when shows with a stock outfit for a character have a fashionista, and prefer when shows have stylish characters actually change outfits like Kim Possible did with it’s title character, Xiaolin Showdown did with Kimiko and of all things LIttlest Petshop did with Blythe. Granted Blythe is a nothing of a character but still, credit where it’s due. But I do get this is also a nick show and they givet hem the budget of 50 cents and a network memo that says “BEG US FOR MORE MONEY” written in blood, so fair enough.

That aside she’s just plesant to watch. The other factor is Liliana Mumy. If you haven’t heard of her , she’s a vetran voice actress whose been doing this on and off since she was a kid, voicing Panini on chowder as a child and later going on to voice Beth in bravest warriors among other roles. Why she only does work so ocasionaly I have no idea but when she does she’s great. She’s also the son of fellow child actor BIll Mumy, aka the guy who as a kid played Anthony Fremont from the Twilight Zone classic “It’s A Good Life”, which if you haven’t seen it is about a small child who has the power of a god and thus can banish people who are “bad”, i.e. disobey him and thus rules over a small town as a creepy and cruel despot. Oh and he can read minds so if you dare to have a thought he dosen’t like your getting banished, with no telling what that means or where anyone disappeared goes. It’s good stuff. Highly recommend it, Mumy is absolutley terrifing and a brilliant actor even at that age and I wish he’d done more as an adult. I also bring it up because Lily played his daughter when they did a sequel episode during the UPN version of the show, set decades later and showing just what the little terror was like grown up... as well as what happens when his DAUGHTER gets the power. It was also really good and worth a watch after the first one. Good stuff.

TLDR: Leni is one of my faviorites, so’s her voice actress, i’ve rambled enough about unrelated stuff at this point.

We open at the mall, where for Leni life begins after schol, that’s when we bend all the rules time to hang with all her friends in the place where she belongs!

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I mean technically she’s 17 now, but she was 16 when she started this job and none of them were 16 by the time the show ended so nyeh. This started in season 3 when the show started giving the girls not just their own stories but their own supporting casts., storylines, love intrests etc. Luna and Luaan got their romance plots with Sam and Benny, Lori got her college plot towards the end of the season, Lynn’s friends started showing up in her plots more, Luna’s mortuariy club went from assorted background friends of hers to a full fleged supporting crew, and of course Lincoln’s friend group started to become a recurring part of his plots away from his sisters.

For Leni, being one of the only three kids that could legally work at the time, another possible plot to dig into, and with Luna having way less incentive to get a 9-5 job with her music to work on and the fact we’ve seen her use said music to make money once in a blue moon, Leni was a good choice. It gave her something she was good at besides fashion, even if it’s fashion adjacent and gave us a new supporting cast for those stories: Her boss Mrs. Redinger, your standard “i’m tough by fair” type, and her new friends Fiona and Miguel, two fellow fashion savy teens played by actors i’d never heard of but who do a damn good job and play off her well, with both being a bit sarcastic but Fiona being a bit more mopey and deadpan and Miguel being a possibly but defintely gay teen. Both play off her well by being more down to earth and more wiling to be negative, but still enjoyable enough to be around you can buy them being friends with Leni and their a stellar addition to the cast. I wish, much like we’ve gotten with Liam lately, we could see more of them outside leni stories. Their a treat.

But I really like Leni’s work there. Besides the cast it puts Leni in a role of responsiblity she excels at. My only real problem is her boyfriend, maybe I dunno, Chaz, one of the ONLY love intrests from l is for love to get mentioned again and one of the more intresting ones, never shows up despite also working at hte mall and the story potetial of them working for rival stores or the same store. I mean I can’t blame them for not throwing another love intrest on the pile when they had two ongoing romance plots, but now both Luna and Luann are on steady ground with their steadies, it’s time to pull that trigger, get off hte ground and eat that horse. Also let LIncoln have one again will ya? It dosen’t have to be stella but Girl Jordan is right there, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again.. where is she. And if not her just make one you’ve proven to actually be really good at it.

Where was I? Ah yes the mall. Leni is doing great at her job, suggesting some gloves to scoots, who ceases being skeptical when a hunky younger man of 30 something compliments her on them them chases off after him. If you don’t remember who scoots was that’s the old lady on a scooter who makes troulbe and appareltly can still get it. Good for her. Granted this is coming from someone who ships eda and stan pines still even though it’s now revealed she’s 30 but... frankly I don’t think age is a concern with her and stan can make this joke, so it evens out.

I mean he would right? I”m getting off topic even more than usual, point is Leni is doing great and her boss takes her to the break room for cake room... it’s just the one cake but can you imagine a cake room? that’s the life. Just a fridgerated room full of cake.

Turns out she’s EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH. And she didn’t have to chain squidward to an ancient battle ship to get it or anything. After some confusion, Fiona has to clarify it’s NOT her birthday because of course she does, Leni is proud. Full of cake and pride she tells her mom whose decided to reward her good job at work.. by dumping a bunch of respnosiblity on her. I kid. Rita is being somewhat resonable here. She asks Leni to take over Lori’s old role of babysitting/making sure the other 10, now 9 kids don’t burn the house down... no really she actually specifies that when leaving in the next scene. Which.. fair enough.. you have 11 kids, all likely to plug in a lot of stuff especially Luna and Lisa, said Lisa is a mad scientest who ends up nearly being the one to do it this time, Lynn has no common sense, and the younger ones who aren’t mad scientst are still reckless and vain and combattive respectivley so the odds of a house fire nearly breaking out on any given night are 1:1. But Leni in a show of self doubt that’s rare for her is scared (Though her revealing that by answering a question of how she’d feel about about babysitting the kids with “Scared” was fucking gold. I swear Lily’s deliveries are always so great. ), and while Rita assures her she’s not sure. But as I said, she is being resonable: While Leni’s not the brightest she’s kind, she’s been shown even before her recent major award she’s responsible, she’s babysat for other people’s kids, and she’s kind. I mean they COULD put Luna or Luaan in charge but while when I first read the preview blurb for this episode I was cuirous why they didn’t think of that or thought they would, this episode does a good job presenting WHY they’d do it, while other episodes fill in the gaps: Luna is a bit reckless and Luaan can get caught up in her bidness and as we know once a week goes through the green door and comes out a gamma monster fuled by the sound of her own laughter, a horrible mixture of the joker and madman.. the leader’s insane brother. I’m a huge nerd, you all know this. Leni is the right choice.

Despite her nerves Leni has little choice but to take it on and Mr. Loud proudly sees her out with ye olde english as he and Rita, with lily in a cute little knight’s helmet in tow, are going to a renisance fair to cater, with Lynn Sr needing the backup. And while you may say “what about his staff”.. their either going with and he just needs an extra pair of hands since it’ll be nuts, or some of them are staying behind to man Lynn’s Table while he’s out on his catering gig. I mean the man has plenty of time for his kids, he’s not at the restraunt 24 hours a day. Someone else has to run it when he’s gone. I asked internally why they didn’t just take them along.. then reminded myself that taking all 11 kids to the faire at once, without anyone to watch them and likely having to call in favors when jsuta s likely, Lynn Sr and Rita can take them all another day with presumibly free passes as part of the catering job as that sounds like the kinda thing he’d do. Also Senior’s into scarf’s now thanks to Leni, which I love. Looks good on him. Hank should give her a call. Ascots may be out but I think he could rock a scarf. I’ve had ventures on the brain. What follows is naturally Leni having several panic attacks as chaos naturally insues btu without Lori’s lifetime of experince dealing with it. IT’s a nice dynamic: Leni, as we’ve established, has always been sort of Lori’s sidekick, her best friend, her amigo. Sure they fight, siblings do that, but they’ll always be there for each other when it counts. SHe’s never really had to THINK without her or be without her, so throwing her into the deep end of taking care of the kids really leaves her shook. It’s a HARD job, it’s probably why the louds don’t bring in babysitters often: there are 11 kids to look after, 10 now and only 9 tonight but still a LOT of them and most of htem pretty high maintince. It was just easier with Lori because she grew up knowing each of them, knowing each of their weaknesses and putting the fear of her righteous wrath into them. They’ve spent their whole lives looking up to her, literally and figuratvely, as their big sister and respecting her as the biggest authority in the house that’s nto her parents, sometimes bigger. Those aren’t just big shoes to fill , their Galactus size and that combined with her big sister worship leaves Leni understandably scared, lost and frequently paralized with anxiety this episode. No really multiple times she just freezes and one times she screams. As someone with Anxiety disorder I related to this.. sometimes you either just break down or you just FREEZE from the stress and everything hitting you at once and have no idea how to progress while people are still barking at you to do something. It’s a lot but it was a nice touch that really added to her sympathy. And her anxiety is also understandable when she’s being hit with 80 problems at once, which i’ll tackle all at once here rather than in order as this episode has a really frentic and good pace: while it follows the formula of “Leni runs into a problem, Leni freezes, then Leni gets help from Lori twice hten mr.grouse, more on that in am inute”, the quick pace and great jokes help keep things from feeling too repetivie.

Anyways the chaos: Just from the start Lucy puts a possibly human liver in the fridge, Lana eats all the cookies then gets skunked by her pet skun, and Lola and Lynn get into a fight over 5 bucks Lynn found, and since Leni can’t just let one kill the other as nature intended she has to fix all this.. mostly by removing the smell with tomato juice and scaring off the skunk and cutting the dolar bill in half. Money dosen’t work that way as both sisters point out but frankly it’s Lola and Lynn, I don’t care who they feel.

Meanwhile two of my other faviorties get into a tiff over their room: Luaan turns it into a comedy club and kicks luna out, with Scoots and her new man returning. Again, get it girl, get it, and Leni, under Lori’s advice, pretneding to be a fire marshall.. only for Luna towarsd the end to turn it into her own rock club. Lisa creates a corossive super substance that burns a hole in the floor, Lana continues to grapple with the skunk and finally Lincoln and Clyde.. watch a scary movie despite Lucy’s warnings.. and Lucy does something else.. I think? It was a chaotic episode with a lot of set pieces so forgive me if I forgot one of them. Honestly she’s the most well behaved there.But yeah as per the cliche Lincoln and Clyde, after Leni gets the wifi fixed with Mr. Grouse’s help, they get super scared and freaked. Everyomne is freaking, the house is falling apart and Senior wants permission to wear a pinky ring via thought cloud.. which.. no man no. Scarves yes but no one looks good with a pinky ring. No one. And I say that as amporphous blob covered in hair, sweat and regrets.

As for how Leni deals with all this she leans on Lori, calling her twice, but at inportune times: during a golf game and at the library where said phone gets taken. Granted, I don’t get why she didn’t have it on silent, as I would in those situations, but then we wouldn’t have an excuse to include her and it feels necessary to show WHY Lori can’t just help all night or reassure her sister and with Lori gone the panic only intensifies. As I said she gets paralized with fear and later just outright screams.. which attracts an irate Mr Grouse, the next door neighbor who I need to watch more of’s episodes. Including 12 louds of leapin.. I know i’m way overdue on that. This december. Promise.

The old man who yells at Louds helps for a bit, helping get rid of a beach Lynn set up because she’s lynn, she has the consderation of a puppy, but eventually falls in a hole like most great heroes and most elderly people. I mean the ones up the street at the retierment home must fall in once a week. They get out of course because the assitant living mole lets them ride out as it digs into the walls. Or maybe that was just a hallucination. Eventually though the start at her job comes back as she calls the only people she has left for help: Fiona and Miguel, who are at the mall in chairs because of courser they are, and both are confused why she’s so helpless: She’s fantastic at work, she’s kind, confident and smart.. about certain things, she can do this. Besides helping her confidence with this really sweet moment they also give her a good tool for how to use said confdience from work: just treat her siblings as customers. It’s also a nice call back to how we’ve seen Leni learn way back in season 1 during “Driving Miss Hazy” we’ve seen that she can have troulble grasping things, but when you put it in terms she understands, like fashion, or shopping, or in this case helping customers with their issues, she snaps into it. She learns at her own pace in her own way, it’s why I think sh’es neurotypical, and possibly ont he spectrum like yours truly: while her stupidity isn’t part of that the unqiue way she processes things has me supscious. either way it works.

So with a new strategy Leni.. literally adresses them like shoppers, which is comedy gold. However it’s a valid strategy: besides the visualation part by getting them to form a line, instead of trying to handle 2 or 3 problems at once she simply handles them one at a time: She scares the skunk off again, shuts down both competing clubs in the older kids room, uses water to take out lisa’s universal solvant, gives Lola and Lynn 5 bucks instead of just cutting a ten in half this time, and in the sweetest moment of the episode, reads Clyde and Lincoln a childrens book to clam them down. Sure it’s a bit funny but their genuine relief and all threes adorable expressions really melt the heart.

Leni finally wins, just as her parents get home and congradulate her, Rita’s faith not misplaced. While Rita probably knew it’d be an adjustment, and frankly should’ve prepped her sooner, she knows her daughter and knows waht sh’es caapable of. Also Senior brought home meet and gives leni a turkey leg who gives it to the old man who now lives in a hole inside their house. That’s his home now. Mr Grouse is just there now. Or I wish he was. But I guess you can’t always get what you want epsecially if it’s an old man living in a hole in the loud’s living room. Someday. Final thoughts for The Boss Maybe: As you could easily tell I loved this one. Funny with a hell of an emotional core, and with great pacing espeially for a loud house episode, this was a joy to watch and easily one of the best episodes the show has done. Just a funny, breezy watch with a lot of subtext, intetional or not, regarding what we’ve seen of Leni and honestly i’m going to go with intetional. It felt really rooted in who Leni is, her relationship with lori, and her work without hitting you over the head with it. It just all flowed really well and made for a hard one to top for the season this early. I’m impressed and it gives me hope for the rest of the season.

Family Bonding

This one was.. okay. As i’ve learned the hard way from doing Amphibia when an episodes just okay it’s best to breeze through it.. but I can give it this. While it’s mostly a standard loud house episode the ending.. wasn’t predictable. That’s for sure. I mean.. it left me with only one thought really...

But i’m getting ahead of myself. The episode’s plot is standard for the most part: Lincoln’s obessed with a new spy comic book about a james bond expy.. okay so that’s what Sterling Archer did besides physical therapy for the three months between his waking up and Season 11. Anyways they soon get more exciting news from Lynn. New Neighbors! Before Rita can stop them, the rest of her family tramples over her and goes to make their aqunatince and of course be a bit overbaring with it before Rita rushes in with a spray bottle to spray them like a bad dog because frankly when your dealing with 11 people most of whom are really impuslive, sometimes dog training just works. You try raising eleven kids and see how long before your brain breaks. Anyways after introductions and the mom turning down cherry pie, you monsters, lincoln sees strange flashing lights and a device and is convinced something is up and unable to convince his family and on a spy kick, recurits clyde. Now why he dosen’t call on Stella and Zach I dunno. And yes I said Zach and not my boy Liam. I have my reasons: Stella, besides being a faviorite of mine, is a tech whiz as shown in one of the comics and in the cookie episode, and Liam is already a paranoid conspiracy nut and as we’ve seen with Dale Gribble, they can be suprisingly useful. I mean Dale is not the best on common sense but he knows goverment bilaws in and out, is skilled with a gun or a bag of pocket sand, and has danny trejo’s octavio, whose basically danny but as hired muscle instead of a master actor, on speed dial. I mean we don’t know if Zach dosen’t have a danny trejo on speed dial or not. We never asked. As for the other two while I love LIam, spying just dosen’t seem to be in his sizeable skill set and Rusty.. well rusty’s about as subtle as a man covered in screeching cats he glued to himself blowing an airhorn, while screaming the script to a micheal bay movie while doing the explosion noises himself.. which Rusty has probbbly done. The real thing i’m getting at is I don’t get why, outside of Clyde and LIam, the writers think when LIncoln has an epiosde it either just needs ot be ClyncolnMcCloud or the ENTIRE group, when one or two would do the trick. YOu CAN seperate them out. People do hang out with diffrent friends at diffrent times. I know the show’s grasp on reality is tenous at best, we got to that last week with the whole one teacher for core classes thing with schooled and this week.. again we’ll get to it in a second, but friends DO hang out seperate. We saw each member of the Lincrew, minus stella because she didn’t exist yet, doing their own thing in Racing Hearts. It’s not that complicated. It’s hard to flesht hem out when their used as one solid unit and not unresonable to just use one or two. it’s a lesson I hope the show learns eventually and hope it’s sister show learns too.

But yeah our dynamic duo spend the episode as youd’ expect; unraveling conspriacies and stalking the new family, though there are some funny bits. Besides Rita squirting her family like a cat or a dog, we have flip getting half his face shaved by a survelince drone and okay maybe just those two things. not bad bits, but the general concept of them roleplaying into mischief.. has been done before. The show’s done the detective bit before and the spy trappings really don’t change that. And you CAN do a good spy takeoff episode, this one just sin’t it and feels like your standard LIncoln and Clyde messaround with tuxedos. Which to be fair are pretty awesome but still. It’s pretty flat. The climax though? I’ll give it this.. it’s pretty entertainngi if also 100% what exactly the fuck. So our heroes are naturally caught sneaking into the neighbors house and its eems they were wrong, etc etc, exactly what we expected the new kid will hang around.. at least we have a new character. Instead.. LIncoln accidently hits a knob and unveils a panel

So yeah... turns out the new family ARE spies, just for Peach Growers and plan to wipe out all cherries in royal woods. Yup.. look I know this universe is patently insane but even for loud house, even with all of lisa’s super science... even with the slapstick but this is just.. nuts. Like i’m fine with suspending my disbelif, this show is a goofy comedy, but this is a bit much. I LOVE it for being nuts but only in a “what on spagehtti monster’s green earth were you thinking”. I get swinging for the fences but Lincoln getting into a fight with a bunch of spies after playing spy, well beating them with slapsticks and stopping their plot to elmitie cherries..t his isn’t Kids Next Door. This just.. dosen’t work. Jeff Goldblum tell em why, my brains too broken to articulate this anymore

Yeah that. It’s just a weird climax and ends iwth LIncoln vetting the new neighbors.. which does it include girl jordon? Did they just write her out? If so why? Fans liked her, you can have more than one female character in Lincoln’s friend group. Zach is replacable. You can give me whatever the fuck this was, but not an intresting friend for him who has personality already. I get 50% chad but not your decision making. Gah.

Final Thoughts for .. this. one This one really didn’t work. Besides the ending just not fitting the series specific brand of ludicrous, I mentioned KND for a reason as it made this sort of plot work fine by having it’s whole unvierse be really fucking weird and specific, it’s mostly just okay. We’ve seen this before.. well okay I haven’t watched many of the Lincoln and Clyde messarounds, but the formula’s about the same. And that dosen’t work. For one you have a HUGE swath of new possiblities: A new school, Chandler coming back, new teachers and faculity, a new principal, and Lynn and LIncoln being in the same school, and you instead just.. retread the same crap. you have 4 of lincoln’s friends other than clyde to use but don’t let them in on the fun. And most agrivating to me you move new neighbors into the neighborhood while neglecting some of your old supporting cast and have them be villians of the week instead of adding someone NEW to the neighborhood. Give one of the other kids a new friend, or give lincoln a new friend to add to his group and replace liam, shake up the dynamic with him and clyde bya dding a third or, most obviously move one of his friends INTO the neighborhood, most obviously stella since you spent so much time building her up then have her addition affect Lincoln and Clyde. Sure we’ve had an episdoe of one of his friends getting in the way of them before, but this would be diffrent. This episode is just.. not great and was a waste of my time, espespcailly after following such a stellar episode. It’s probablyt he first genuinely bad episode i’ve covered on this blog. Now that probably won’t stand, i’ve seen genuiley worse but.. as a wise penguin once said.

One last note. That Young Dylan graphic is really obnoxiou and obtrusive. It’s the second most obnoxious thing i’ve seen on this network.

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I”m out for this week. If you want more check out my Amphibia reviews, as I just finished a new one today, my other loud house reviews in the newly minted nickelodeon tab or other stuff on my other tabs, send me an ask for reviews you’d like to see or pay me to review whatver you want for 5 bucks via direct message. And check this blog Monday for the return of weekly Ducktales coverage, and next weekend for the next episode of loud house, and throughotu the week for more reviews. Until we meet again, GO TEAM VENTURE!. Play us out Mary Kate Wiles. If nothing else this episode let me use this song.

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bookscapadesblog · 4 years

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What to Read While Stuck in Quarantine

Right now, many people (myself included) are stuck inside and social distancing due to the Hell that is considered our world because of Corona. As a fun activity for myself and in the hopes of maybe helping a few people through this weird/uncomfortable/stressful/whatever other negative phrase you want to use time, I thought I’d compose a list of books that may occupy your time. I’m going to try and stick with completed series or stand-alones so that in addition to everything else you’re not miserable you have to wait for a new book.

Similiar to my Non-Horror October reads post, I’ll add the Goodreads link so you can check out ratings and such!

So...here is my list of books that might help get you through the dumpster fire that is our current situation!

(I am aware some of these are very popular but I’m adding them anyway in case someone hasn't read them)

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas

After serving a year in a slave camp, Celaena Sardothien is granted the chance at freedom when the crown prince chooses her to be his champion in a competition to find the new royal assassin.

If you haven't read this series yet and love YA fantasy please do yourself a favor and get it. Katie and I love it so much

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas

A loose retelling of Beauty and the Beast; Feyre is dragged off as a prisoner to a magical kingdom after killing a faerie while hunting in the woods. She comes to learn that maybe her captor, a beautiful Fae trapped in a mask, might not be as terrible as she thought.

I’m not even going to lie this was difficult to give a two sentence summary of. The first book is great but 2 and 3 are exponentially better and Feyre is just the badass woman we all need.

The Iskari Trilogy by Kristen Ceccarelli

Asha is the Iskari, responsible for hunting dragons in her kingdom. Engaged to a man she will never love, she is given the opportunity to prevent her marriage by killing the most ancient of all dragons.

All three of these books are interconnected but each one follows a different main character. They were all AMAZING, but book two (The Caged Queen) was my favorite

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo

In the country of Ravaka, cut in half by a darkness called The Shadow Fold, Grisha are an elite magical group. After learning of her own abilities during an attack on the fold, Alina Starkov is taken away to learn to harness her power while under supervision of their leader, The Darkling.

I put off reading these like an idiot and finished them a few months ago and absolutely loved them. King of Scars is a continuation but maybe wait until the second one comes out to read it because I’ve been struggling getting over it and anxiously waiting for any news about it.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Kaz Brekker is one of the most notorious criminals in Ketterdam. When offered a job that will make him rich beyond his wildest dreams, he gathers a crew that can help him pull off a deadly heist.

This book has an array of diverse characters and a lot of excitement and hijinks. Takes place in the same universe as Shadow and Bone, so I would recommend reading it after them, but it can be done on its own.

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

The small town of Sparrow is located on the coast of Washington and has a troubling history. Every summer witches possess three mortal girls and use their bodies to lure boys into the ocean and drown them. When a new boy arrives Penny doesn't know if she will be able to protect him from her sinister home.

I read this one in a day and absolutely loved it. Easy and entertaining read.

The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller

Alessandra is tried of being in the shadow of her older sister so she devises a plan: make the Shadow King fall in love with her, marry him, and then kill him and take his kingdom.

This book was described as a ‘slytherin love story’ and I was all about it. It was an easy read and definitely kept me intrigued in the story.

Gone by Michael Grant

All adults disappear, along with cell phones, internet, and any other way to get help. Teens are left to pick up the pieces in this sic-fi story.

I read this series a pretty long time ago but it was SO GOOD. Grant did such a great job sucking you in, to this day I will still recommend it to people.

The Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning (Book #1 is Darkfever)

When her sister is murdered, MacKayla travels to Ireland in search of answers. While there she learns she is able to see beyond the human realm, into the real of the Fae.

Honestly this series was so wild and I remember there being some unnecessary erotic stuff but it was still SO DAMN ENTERTAINING. A good way to escape the humdrum of quarantine life.

Anything by Gillian Flynn

If you need a thriller, murder mystery, etc just honestly pick Gone Girl, Sharp Objects, or Dark Places. They're all so good.

Caraval by Stephanie Garber

Scarlett has always wanted to participate in the fantastical performance that is Caraval. She gets her wish when an invitation arrives, but then regrets it when she learns the performance centers around her sister Tella, who has been kidnapped by Caravel Master Legend.

I love these books. Scarlett and Tella are both amazing in their own way and the mystery and not knowing what is real and whats part of the game makes it so fun to read.

These Rebel Waves (Stream Raiders) by Sara Raasch

Adeluna is a soldier that helped free her home island of Grace Loray from its oppressors, the kingdom of Argrid. Devereux is a pirate, sailing the waters of Grace Loray and collecting its magic plants and selling them on the black market. Benet is the Crown Prince of Argrid, unsure of his father’s beliefs and methods after watching his uncle and cousin burned to death after practicing magic. Their fates are intertwined as they all search for peace between Grace Loray and Argrid.

Katie and I both just read this and they were so good. The beginning is a little slow but the history you get on all the characters is great.

Angelfall (Penryn and the End of Days) by Susan Ee

Angels of the Apocalypse have fallen to Earth. Streets are ravaged and life as we know it is over. When Penryn’s little sister is taken by Warrior Angels, she's willing to do anything to get her back, even make a deal with an enemy angel.

I looked for a hard copy of this trilogy everywhere and couldn't find it, so finally gave up and got the kindle books. I loved it, the end of world sci-fi and enemies-to-lovers tropes were wonderful.

The Knife of Never Letting Go (Chaos Walking) by Patrick Ness

Todd Hewitt lives in a town of only men, where everyone can hear each other’s thoughts. He stumbles across a girl in the swamp, the only one he’s ever seen and it sets off a chain of events that can't be stopped. On the run and hunted by the only people he's ever known, Todd tries to discover the dark truth of his world.

This series was so well written and just sucked you in. Even if it seemed like nothing was happening or was going to happen soon, I couldn't put it down. The books are all long too so thats a plus for quarantine reading.

And if you need something to bring you back to a time when things were simpler, may I recommend rereading some old favorites, two of mine are:

Harry Potter by J.K Rowling and Percy Jackson and the Olympians (also The Heroes of Olympus) by Rick Riordan

These don't need links, but they were two series that I loved when I was younger. The Goblet of Fire was the first big chapter book I ever read on my own and PJO just was so fun. I just read all the PJO graphic novels because I found them when I redid my bookshelves and it was a nice little escape.

Honestly, I have more recommendations but I feel like this is a long post already so I’m going to stop here and maybe I’ll do another one.

Anyway...happy reading, I hope this helps someone. It definitely improved my mood. Just remember High School Musical and hopefully we’ll get through this soon.

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holyhikari · 4 years

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overly emotional rant about su future poorly disguised as a review

So, here we are in the future, huh?

I’ve just caught up with what we have so far in one go! Please come closer to feast on my thoughts and pizza — I mean, if you’ve got any, because I only have here some underlying emotional damage to address. And (so does) Steven! ♫

While I was binging 10 episodes glued to my chair, I was assaulted by an (arguably obvious) epiphany: Steven Universe: Future is here to help us outgrow the show(s) in the healthiest way possible. I’m not saying we’re supposed to forget SU’s five seasons or let go of everything we’ve clung to the last 6 years or so, nah. What I do mean is, well...

Steven Universe's six-year-long run wasn’t enough for Steven himself, so why should it be for any of us?

I don’t wanna go the wrong way about this. Bear with me. Steven Universe is probably my favorite western cartoon of all time and when I say “it wasn’t enough” I say it with love, gratefulness, and relief... and with the small hope I’ll be listened to. I know many of you are having a hard time right now with how different Steven is acting.

Loving, connecting and getting attached to other people, situations and certain periods of our lives is as fulfilling as it is devasting. Stuff changes, stuff ends. Every tiny aspect of this very existence that got Pink Diamond so fascinated and intoxicated one day will be drowned out by the bigger picture. Life and death and love and birth- ♫ (Great, this turned into a “someday the decomposers will eat us when we’re dead” type of conversation.)

Back to Steven.

He’s angry things are so unfamiliar to him, he’s angry because he’s a teenager growing into adulthood, he’s angry because Earth was his. Earth was his in a much different way that once was Pink Diamond’s, but it was his nonetheless. He was able to go through so much and travel so far, to Homeworld, the moon; he even got stuck in a bubble drifting to nowhere once in space!; Steven was able to do all of this and more because Earth remained the same, at least in the ways that were essential to his comfort.

Now, though? Look at this mess. He doesn’t feel at home on Earth. It’s... it’s a nice thought that after five seasons he’d be able to feel okay in the very place he fought to protect, isn’t it? That he’d get to just be him and feel like him. But how to feel like yourself if so much of what shaped your life is now gone or almost unrecognizable?

Yeah, he’s Steven Universe. You know it, he knows it. This used to be a loaded question. But who is Steven Universe?

It’s funny, ya know. The idea of being even remotely similar to Pink Diamond terrifies Steven, but he did step into what was destined to be her role — he hasn’t conquered Earth, no, but what he asks of himself is to manage it, take care of it, nurture it, heal it. (Literally!)

Not completely on his own, but he does see himself as the one who’s the most responsible for everyone’s well-being. He’s the one who must decide how things should operate. “I don’t know why I thought I could take over like that.” Steven, sweetheart. You ain’t Pink, but there’s something inside of you that feels like this planet and every single creature on it is your responsibility. Something powerful, and now...you just need to take one look at Pink Pearl to know that its powers aren’t just healing ones.

For a story that talks so much about Earth, we sure have seen little of it. (I mean, to be fair there was that tour with Lapis and Steven, once.) Maybe now that there’s not an extinction-level threat... maybe if Steven gets out of Beach City a little — if he were to live for a while somewhere he isn’t known as the one who saved Earth and the son of someone responsible for an intergalactic war —, he can finally see that his commitment, that his obligation to this planet is just as big as anyone else’s. From now on, at least.

Steven’s empathy is so genuine, beautiful and all-compassing. But it is also all-consuming. He wants to help everyone and everything. He wants to be included in private matters, he wants to see every single change his loved ones go through, a part of him wants to decide where they get to go, with whom and for how long. And the fact that he’s got good intentions isn’t working out for him anymore.

It’s groundbreaking for a young audience to see a male character like that. (Hell, even for us adults.) Someone who loves so deeply and whose love seems to know no boundaries. But this only gets you so far. It’s time for Steven to learn that there aren’t only two options: a) deal with your negative emotions alone or b) repress them until you’re controlled by them and explode. I hope he gets angry! I hope he’s selfish once in a while! I hope he snaps. I hope he heals. I hope he gets to be all that he is, even the parts that don’t know how to make others feel better, even the parts that don’t want to make others feel better.

So, for everyone who is suffering because of Steven’s mood & the way he talked about the gems and wondering what was the point of five seasons of him growing into himself if he’s so lost again:

You’re never, ever done figuring yourself out.

Sure, as opposed to life, which doesn’t make narrative sense, we’re talking fiction here, and a writer must choose when to reach a conclusion and end the story. But Steven Universe did end. The show has a finale. Future isn’t a new season, it’s a spin-off. Yes, it is obviously dealing with some loose ends, unanswered questions and exploring possibilities left by its predecessor, but it isn’t a sixth season and internalizing this makes the experience indescribably more enjoyable.

SU: Future is a gift, sort of. They’re saying: we gave you a story to look back to, and now you need a story to learn how to look forward. Much, much beyond the present, our songs, our work, the life we created.

It’s up to us now.

#steven universe #steven universe future #su future spoilers #steven universe future spoilers #bea with the tea

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theforce · 4 years

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presumptive horrible rotten case of corona: symptoms

presumptive bc i couldnt get a god damn test i live in new york and while there are testing sites all over the state and our state govt is doing what they can now, i don’t want to be the person taking away a test from someone else especially now that i am mostly better, most of this went down at the beginning of the month and i’m still dealing with the effects of it.

there was a lot of confusion here even as recent as 2 weeks and we are the state that’s testing more than the rest of the entire country so here is my account of what went down w me, and honestly, what might go down with you or someone you know as soon as this reaches your state

1) i threw up all night long, thought it was a stomach virus, had a lot of stomach issues for like 24 hours, very strange i haven’t had a stomach virus in YEARS since i was a literal child, anyways right before i started puking up my life i developed this weird cough, it felt like it was from my throat, like i was trying to clear it? but it was often and annoying

2) after my 24 hours of hell i felt feverish and exhausted but i chalked it up to being on the floor of the bathroom all night, exerting my esophagus and body to throw up the devil himself, i tried to sleep it off, i woke up a few hours later in a fog, i was shivering but i was also burning up, i couldn’t tell left from right, up from down, my fever was 100.3, at this point i had my mom call my doctor and make an appointment, she made it for me w the receptionist, everything was fine until 20 minutes later i got a call back from my actual doctor not the receptionist who was like, oh no not you’re not coming here with those symptoms baby and i was like ?? ok cool thanks, she said to keep watching my symptoms, slam some tylenol and if i felt shortness of breath to call or text her personal cell phone and she would get me set up at the nearest hospital i said ok sounds fucked up i mean i didn’t say that bc i was too fucked up to even speak, she also gave my mom instructions to keep me in my room, to not go near me, to give me a designated bathroom, to have food and water delivered to my door, my mom was like u dont gotta tell me twice (she has lupus) during this time my cough become dry and horrible, i could feel my lungs rattle, i would cough so hard and for so long i’d wake from my feverish coma to kneel over my bed and just let loose on the world, it felt like i was drowning, i couldn’t get enough air everything hurt, everything was sore

3) things continued on like this for 5 straight days, i was literally in and out of consciousness, my fever got up to 102 and my mom said that if it raised at all from there we were going to the fuckin hospital and i was like listen la rona i know u wanna take me out but i havent even ever eaten a krispy kreme donut, please let me survive this i can’t leave this way, in that moment i literally had a fever dream of god herself, i said take this from me and i’ll stop being such a cunt in life. i started slamming hot toddy’s, i’d drink as much water as possible in between the time i wasnt literally trying to expel my lungs by way of my mouth

4) woke up from that whole ordeal drenched in SWEAT from my feet to my head i was soaked, it was gross, at that point i still had a sense of smell so let me tell you my last and final symptom should have kicked in a bit earlier but i checked my temp and it was normal! i didn’t feel like my head was going to explode! but i had new things going on i had a new stuffy/runny nose, my cough was producing some liquid which i proceeded to throw up into a mcdonalds cup i took a shower, i brushed my teeth, i felt like a brand new woman, i had cold like symptoms but i can live with cold like symptoms, i had an appetite for the first time in a week, felt like i could eat my whole family out of house and home given the opportunity, i’d lost 20 pounds in less than 2 weeks and ya girl was honestly, looking good but THAT’S A BAD WAY OF THINKING disregard please thank you, at this point i went into my doctor with a full on mask, gloves, hair pulled back, she gave me every test you can think of, most importantly a flu test which is all she could do since getting a test was impossible at this pint, which of course came back negative

5) things continued like this for weeks, up until right now actually, exhaustion was gone, fever gone, cough still here and there but not like how it was, i’ve put on makeup in my room, i’ve watched every season of law and order svu, i’ve gone on drives in my car just to drive, i’ve tried to keep myself as busy as possible, 3 days ago the strangest, most inexplicable and hopefully last symptom arrived, a complete loss of smell and bc of that taste, i’ve tried smelling candles, essential oils, laundry detergent, canned meat, my brother lit a match with my back turned and asked me what the smell was, i ate extra hot cheetos, raw onions, shot of vinegar, there’s nothing there, i just hope it comes back

during this time i haven’t been even close to my mother, who has lupus or my sister, who has asthma, i stayed in my room, i’m still in my room actually 14 full days out from the last time i left the house, one month since this whole thing started, i eat in my room, i use a different bathroom than my whole family, everyone talks to me from my door frame besides my little brother who also was sick but recovered super fast, he bleaches the bathroom after i use it, he puts all my food on single use plates, he brings me jugs of water and reminds me of what it’s like to at least talk to another person.

on a more serious note, i haven’t touched another person in 20 days nobody has even been within 6 feet of me besides my doctor who was administering the only tests she could administer, fully decked out in a hazmat suit, she was scared for me, i could tell, she was trying to put on a brave face and downplay the severity of my symptoms but thank god for her, she’s checked up on me, she’s tried everything, she’s put in calls, she’s made herself as available as possible even though she’s probably going through the same thing with countless other patients, i worry for her, i’ve worried for my family, i’ve stressed beyond the point of no return which has for sure slowed my recovery and i was one of the lucky ones! all of this and my case was considered mild because i never really had trouble breathing beyond being choked by my own coughing.

people have been there for me during all of this, in ways that are further reaching than touch, i have been very vocal about not liking when people touch me but i do look forward to the day i can hug my mom, where i can tell my friend to take a sip of my drink to see if she likes it, to have someone pat me on the shoulder and tell me to keep my head up or whatever

hopefully im on the other side of this, my more at risk family members are about to be 14 days from the last time any of them were near me or my brother, they’re at the end of a long tunnel and i’m just so happy that maybe soon we’ll all see the light

take care of yourselves

#tw for like puke and losing weight and just overall grossness

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themusicplayedherlife · 4 years

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Full House

4. “how many days has it been?”

pairing: steve rogers x f!reader characters: steve rogers, sharon carter, bucky barnes, reader, pietro maximoff word count: 3k+ warnings: family issues, fluff summary: steve finds out something about you and you just want pietro to stop being so broody

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Steve sighs deeply, dropping the towels Bucky had asked for on the front desk, ignoring the greetings of a couple of members making their way to the lockers to his left.

Sharon lifts a delicate eyebrow in his direction, pulling the pile of towels in her direction to fold them neatly. “This is the tenth time you’ve sighed in the last hour, Steve.” She shifts her weight to one foot. “What’s gotten into you?”

Bucky chuckles, clicking away at the computer. “Most likely his mystery girl.”

Steve shoots him a glare, but Bucky doesn’t even turn to look at him, continuing to scroll through whatever he’s looking at on the computer screen.

It’s not like Steve has been thinking thinking about you, but it’s hard to forget such an eventful meeting (how many get to say they took a stranger home after finding them black out drunk in their stairwell, potentially saving them from the dangers of the night) like yours? Especially when you ran out of his apartment looking like a skittish animal and without a mention of your name, leaving him to wonder what your name could be; but no name he comes up with ever sounds right—fitting.

“Still?” Comes Sharon’s exasperated reply. “It’s been days, Steve!”

“Nine days,” he murmurs, and Bucky’s eyes finally rip away from the screen to stare at him with something akin to astonishment, Sharon mirroring his expression. “What?”

“You’ve been keeping count?”

Steve frowns, but the heat he refuses to acknowledge still rushes to his head. “Not exactly?”

“Wow,” Bucky says, gaping. “You have it bad!”

“It’s only been nine days!”

“Only?” Bucky scoffs. “Stevie, pal, that’s enough for me to forget every person I’ve fallen in love with at first sight.”

They’re being ridiculous. He just can’t help the curiosity—why were you in the stairwell? Why did you seem so sad? Who texted you that you got so terrified that you ran out of his apartment? Did whatever you were going through get resolved? Or were they getting worse? And most importantly:

What is your name?

“You have issues,” Sharon directs at Bucky—to which he responds with a shrug and a cheeky grin—before turning to him and saying, “And you? You need to move on. You don’t know anything about the girl!”

“I think that’s the point. Steve is loving the mystery!” Bucky leans back into the rolling chair he’s occupying and locks his fingers behind his head. “And truth be told, I kind of like her too, ‘cause, ya know, she didn’t end up murdering us in our sleep.”

Sharon looks at him expectantly as if waiting for him to answer and all he can do is flash her a sheepish smile. Her eye twitches and she throws her head back. “Seriously? That’s it? That’s what—“

“Rude! Second of all—”

He pauses—wait, what was that?—fading out Sharon’s voice, his eyes frantically search around the gym—he swears he heard—taking in every person in the room.

—was it really you?—but he doesn’t find what he’s—

His breath hitches, heart beating against his rib cage rapidly—you. It’s really you!

“Uh, Steve?”

“She’s here,” comes his breathless reply, taking a step forward, smile spreading on his lips. But it’s ripped away from his lips so easily, feet coming to an abrupt halt when they take in the sight of a muscular, younger and definitely more handsome than him, man standing at your side and staring down at you with exasperated fondness.

And you’re not alone.

Pietro moves at a fast pace—calves burning and sweat dripping down his face, but he keeps on pushing. It reminds you of a younger Pietro, who struggled with high school and teachers constantly picking on him for being too hyperactive; only finding reprieve in track and field and working out. He used to drag you—and Wanda—to the gym then too; it helped deplete all those negative feelings festering in his mind.

You only watch from your spot on the leg press, pretending to put in any effort if only to satisfy your brother’s excess nagging that you—and the family—need to work out more. Maybe he’s the one that needs to work out less. Has he ever thought of that?

The machine beeps and it begins to slow down, Pietro doesn’t wait for it to. He hops onto the sides, legs spread as he presses something on the touchscreen of the treadmill to turn it off.

“How do you not die?” you ask him, your earlier plan to pretend to work out with him being left abandoned to stare at your brother in awe, who is barely out of breath. “Are you some kind of freak?”

He finally cracks a smile, snorting as he nudges his nose with his knuckle. “It’s called exercising regularly.”

You roll your eyes and lean back into the backrest of the machine. “Daisy once asked me if you were on steroids and I’m starting to think she might’ve been onto something.”

He bends low for his water bottle next to your feet. “My muscles and gym drive are 100% authentic, kid.”

“Yeah, okay.” You’re worried about Pietro. Out of all of your siblings, he’s the most sensitive. Sure Scott was more attached to your parents than the rest of you, but it’s Pietro who feels more strongly about everything.

A lot of people would assume it’s Wanda, and while in a way they’re right, they’re also very much wrong. Wanda is empathetic, understands what other people feel more easily. Pietro isn’t as empathetic as his twin, he’s the type of person to get caught up in his own feelings and drown in them. He’s kind of similar to Clint in that aspect, but over the years, your older brother has become more logical (and Natasha would never let him linger in his feelings for too long, anyway), while Pietro has… not.

“So, for how long are you going to keep avoiding Wanda?”

His hand freezes mid air as he brings his drink back up to his lips. “I’m not avoiding her,” he says, moving to a different machine—a pull up machine.

You get up, picking up your own water bottle and follow after him. “Right,” you drawl, “because sneaking out is totally not avoidance.”

He readies the machine, moving things, adjusting shit. “We did not sneak out.” Yeah, okay. He pulls away and then stares at you expectantly.

“What?” His eyes move from you to the machine and back. “Oh, no! No, no, no. I’m only here as moral support.” He rolls his eyes as you step away. “You get on that machine.”

“I would if it were a challenge.”

You scoff and cross your arms defiantly. “I’m not doing it.”

“Should I tell Wanda that you stayed over at a guys house when you almost gave her a heart attack?” he says, raising his eyebrow in challenge.

This jerk! You shouldn’t have told him! Why did you tell him anyway? Oh, right, he’s annoying (and didn’t believe your lie of having passed out in Daisy’s bedroom after having way too much to drink and your friends not noticing because they were equally inebriated—Wanda probably didn’t believe you either, but she probably thinks you’ll eventually tell her, and you will. Eventually. Maybe. If Pietro doesn’t tell her out of spite first).

Your mouth parts and you stare at your brother with wide eyes. “Okay, first of all, rude! Secondly, it was a mistake! An accident! And it’s not like I slept with him,” you hiss, looking around the gym to check that no one is close enough to listen in on your conversation. “He was just a kind soul that helped me out.”

“You do realize that’s worse, right? Sleeping at a stranger’s house? He could’ve been a creep for all you know.”

“Well, he wasn’t. He was a kind stranger!”

He pushes you towards the machine. “Do it.”

“Listen,” you tell him, spinning your arm to the point where you can hear creaks and bone popping, “my body wasn’t made for working out!”

“Is everything all right?” A voice interrupts, and you and Pietro both spin on your heels almost in sync to find the guy that was sitting next to a pretty blonde lady that—your brother didn’t try flirting with, surprisingly enough—signed you in as a guest.

His eyes are an intense blueish-gray eyes, brown hair pulled back into a bun and day old scruff adorning his jaw and chin. He’s pretty—prettier than Natasha and Wanda combined, and those are some fighting words—in a masculine way or whatever. But he doesn’t hold a candle to Steve, your kind and totally not a creep, stranger.

“Yes,” Pietro says at the same time you blurt out, “No.”

He shoots you a glare and you ignore it as you address the other guy, eyes drifting down to his handwritten name tag. “Bucky,” you start before doing a double take. “Bucky?” What kind of—never mind. You’re getting distracted! “Can you please tell my brother here that forcing me on a machine is completely against safety guidelines?”

Bucky—seriously, who names their kid Bucky?—blinks, eyes moving between you and Pietro. “Brother?”

“Yes,” you deadpan. You know you look nothing like Pietro or any of your siblings—he’s not the first to be surprised at the revelation and he won’t be the last—but it gets old. “Brother. He’s my brother.”

“Oh,” he says, eyes drifting over your shoulder and you almost turn, but he stops you by saying, “It isn't against safety guidelines, but it is if you don’t use the machine properly.”

Pietro sighs deeply. “If you don’t want to do pull ups then get on the treadmill.”

“That’s worse!” you argue. “Do you really think I have the stamina to run?”

Your brother’s nose flares and you just know you’ve hit his limit of patience—oops—but before he can rip you a new one, Bucky interrupts, “We had a boxing class cancellation if you’d—“

“Is it low effort? Or fun?”

Pietro is about to pop, if him closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath is anything to go by.

Bucky, on the other hand grins as he says, “It's better than boring ol’ cardio and pull ups, that’s for certain.”

You press your lips together, thinking it over—it’s really just for show, you’d do anything to get away from treadmills and bars—as Pietro rubs his temple. “We’ll take it!”

“Sis, I don’t have the money—“

“Don’t worry about it,” Bucky interrupts your brother, already leading you to a different part of the gym, weaving through machines and people working out at night.

Your brother isn’t entirely convinced, but he follows anyway.

He knocks on a door—that reminds you a little of those noir detective movies with the dramatic acting that Cass and Scott like forcing everyone to watch—before opening it to reveal a whole other room with different training gear and a large ring smack dab in the middle.

Grunts and loud smacks fill the room—1, 2, 1, 2, 2.

“Hey, punk, we have company!”

The grunting and the pounding stops, and just as you turn to look at Pietro with a wide grin, it falls from your lips as you pause at the sight of a familiar face rounding the large ring—“Steve?”

“Steve?” Your brother mimics, eyebrows knitting together.

Blue eyes meet yours in confusion before moving between the three of you, mouth gaping and looking like a fish out of water. You would have laughed at the handsome man if you weren’t so shellshocked yourself.

“The miss—,” you interject Bucky with your name and he repeats it, “and her brother—“ you swear you hear some heavy emphasize on brother.

“Pietro,” your brother adds grumpily and Steve physically straightens, disbelief coloring his face as they take you and Pietro in. Yeah. Also won’t be the last.

“Were hoping for something a little more fun and since we had a cancellation—“

“A what now?”

“A cancellation,” Bucky repeats testily, shooting Steve an annoyed glare. “I thought I could offer them the time slot.”

Steve blinks once, then twice, but his eyes never leave you. “Right. Right a cancellation,” he murmurs.

“Why don’t I take you over here,” Bucky says to your brother whose eyes narrow in suspicion, the two talking, but you pay them no mind as you close the distance between you and Steve with a wide smile.

“Been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he says, still not shaking off his shocked expression.

You introduce yourself, personally this time, and hold your hand out for him to take, and he introduces himself again too, as if you could have forgotten his name to begin with. “Sorry for running out on you that morning. How many days has it been?” you wonder aloud, not really expecting an answer.

“Nine days,” he answers quickly, confidently and now it’s your turn to stare at him in disbelief. His ears turn a bright red and he clears his throat when you raise an eyebrow. Has it really only been nine days? Huh. “Lets, uh, get you wrapped up.”

Steve’s grip on your hand is gentle, unlike the white cotton being wrapped around your hand; tip of his tongue sneaking out between his lips, eyes completely concentrated at the task at hand. Hasn’t spoken much of a word to you either, only when you asked what the cotton wrap was for. He said it was for protection, less chance of an injury or something; you practically zoned out as he lectured you on the importance of it, opting to get lost in his gorgeous blue eyes instead.

He really is cute, isn’t he?

You haven’t had much of a chance to think about him since you left his apartment, but there’s no denying that you did sometimes think about looking him up, to maybe ask him out for dinner as a thank you for keeping you out of trouble that night—him being good looking has nothing to do with you wanting to ask him out, scouts honor. Maybe.

Daisy said she’d keep an eye out for your mystery man, but so far she had no luck.

Today, however, it seems you have a lot of luck.

Grunts fill the room and your attention leaves Steve for once, finding your brother already strapped in, fitted with gloves and punching the living daylights out of the thick pads Bucky holds in front of him. A loud smack causes you to grimace and for Steve to pause his work.

“Did I hurt you?”

You tear your eyes away from Pietro and find Steve peering down at you through his dark lashes, genuine worry coating his immensely blue eyes.

His head tilts, patiently waiting for your answer. Even that is endearing.

Why is he so attractive? What the fuck?

“Sorry, no, no. You didn’t hurt me. Pietro surprised me is all,” you tell him honestly, eyes moving to your brother again, who is completely focused on the pads. Maybe boxing is what he needs to exert himself? “So,” you start, smiling at Steve, “how have you been? Been saving any other drunk damsels in distress?”

He cracks a smile at that, returning to his task of wrapping up your right hand, his fingers gliding to your wrist and you keep your hands straight as he told you in the beginning. “I’m afraid not.” He briefly glances at you. “Not since you, anyway.” If your smile grows wider, it’s involuntarily. “But I’ve been good, busy. And you?” He pats your hand when he’s done with it and reaches for your left hand, cradling it in his larger ones.

“I’ve been… I’ve been okay. I guess.”

He hesitates, wrapping the cotton around your palm slowly. “Right…” His eyebrows knit together almost in concentration, but he’s not in concentration at all, if him looking at you every once in a while is of any indication.

Pietro’s grunts and Bucky’s commands fill the room with sound, but it’s dull compared to the loud silence between you both. You watch him, occasionally meeting his gaze. You wonder what he could be thinking about: that night? Did you do or say anything strange? Because you wouldn’t put it past your drunk self. You’ve been told you’re an open drunk—says too much and is way too affectionate. So maybe you did say something?

When he’s done wrapping your hand, he does the same as before, pats it and let's go. “How do they feel?” he asks, finally breaking the silence.

You clench and unclench your hand, feeling the wrap adjusting nicely to your movements. “They’re good. Not too loose and not too tight.”

He nods and moves away, pulling out a couple of gloves from the closet behind him. He surveys them, checking their sizes before settling on one pair. He lays them aside before turning back to you. “Why don’t we warm up first?”

“Teach away.”

He cracks a smile and moves to stand beside you, his own wrapped hands lifting in front of him. “We’ll start with shadow boxing.” He stands with his legs slightly spread and bent at the waist, bringing his fists up to his face. “This is a resting pose, after every punch, you should come back to it.”

You mimic him, but something doesn’t feel right.

“Bend your knees a little—no, do you mind if—“

You grin, wicked and amused at the reddening of ears. “Go ahead.”

His large hands settle on your waist, turning it away from him. “Keep your weight distributed evenly. Don’t put it on just one foot.” His fingers glide from your elbows to your hands—and you’re one hundred percent sure boxing shouldn’t be this touchy feeling, but you don’t mind it. Not when your instructor is Steve. “That’s it. Now, when you punch, make sure your thumbs aren’t inside your fist, keep them out—there you go.”

He keeps demonstrating, occasionally putting his hands on you to guide you, but only if necessary (which is literally all the time). If you don’t get it right the first couple of tries, it’s totally not your fault.

By the end of your session, you don’t know whether you want to kill Bucky or thank him. You’re drenched, heart racing for more than one reason, and legs wobbling from all the exertion. Steve is just as wet as you, sweat seeping into his shirt and droplets raining down his neck and disappearing under the black t-shirt he’s wearing; cheeks deliciously flushed and chest heaving. How can your heart not race at the sight of this Adonis?

But also, why is boxing so damn exhausting?

Steve did every single exercise and activity with you, doing them twofold just to give you more motivation since you were being a whiny bitch. Something you’re completely grateful for, because if he hadn’t, you would have thrown in the towel ten minutes into it.

Pietro is still training with Bucky, one final set of jump rope and they’ll be done and you’ll soon be on your way; and then it’ll only be a matter of time before you’ll be in your bed resting, sleeping off your exhaustion and completely and utterly happy—well, until you wake up with sore muscles and deep regrets, anyway.

And hopefully with this full workout, Pietro won’t be as moody.

Steve stretches next to you, offering you water after you finish yours during a small break. You thank him, relishing in the cool liquid sliding down your throat.

“Want to get dinner sometime?” you suddenly ask, taking him completely off guard and causing him to choke on his saliva. You quickly get on your knees and pat his back.

He waves you away when he’s no longer coughing. “What?”

He’s completely red, from his neck to the tips of his ears. Whether from his choking incident or your question, you don’t know, but you still grin. “Dinner?” you repeat. “You and me?”

He gawks as if he can’t believe you’re really asking him out for dinner and as cute as you think he’s being, you’re also growing impatient with every second that he doesn’t answer.

“Yes or no? Because I need to know whether you’re okay with the idea or—“

“Dinner sounds great,” he finally says and your grin only grows wider.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers #reader insert #marvel imagine #full house series

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colesterstrudel · 4 years

Text

New Worlds

Elias/reader: Part three to the ‘Worlds’ series (Worlds Apart and Worlds Collide). The holiday season approaches and brings its own struggles for you and Elias. A lil bit of angst but mostly fluff.

Sometimes a family is a vampire, their vampire significant other, and all their vampire friends.

Tagging (also pls let me know if you would like to be added to my tag list bc I promise I’m working on posting fics more regularly lmao): @toxiicpop @wrestlingfae @sporadic-fics @moxleysbaby @helplessly-nonstop @cookiethewriter @thirstiswet @renegademustelid @sophiagriff @concussed-to-pieces

You hadn’t spent much time thinking about your lost family around the holidays, traditions lost along with them. It was easier to suppress those memories, those thoughts as you tried to survive undetected amongst the humans. Now, though, as you settled down with Elias, you couldn’t stop yourself from finally allowing those thoughts to come to the service. Thanksgiving was weeks away, and you were inundated with memories from your human life, surrounded by your family and all of their laughter and joy. It was a harsh contrast to how you had spent your more recent years navigating the world alone, forced to watch the humans around you celebrate the holidays with the same joy you used to feel.

At least this year you wouldn’t be alone. You had Elias with you, and that was more meaningful to you than he would ever know. As the holidays grew nearer, you spent more and more time with him, pressed against his side as he slept during the day, curled up on the couch with him in the evening. You two were practically attached at the hip, more so than usual.

Which is why your behavior after Elias got off the phone with one of his friends was so startling for him.

The two of you were cuddled up on the couch together, each with a book in your hands. One of his arms was draped over your shoulders, pulling you even closer to him. It was peaceful, normal for the two of you, something you had come to treasure in your time spent with him. And then his phone rang, interrupting the peace and quiet that surrounded the two of you.

Your enhanced hearing made it all too easy to hear the conversation Elias was having with his friend as he pulled himself away from you, shooting you a smile as he walked away to let you read in peace. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, didn’t want to mess with his privacy, but at the mention of a Thanksgiving get together, you paused your reading to listen a little closer.

The longer the conversation went on, the more you found yourself drawing your limbs in closer, folding in on yourself. You knew it was an overreaction spurred on purely due to the fact that you had been drowning in memories of the holidays with your own family. Hearing Elias set up a get together with his own friends, one that apparently happened every year, was proof that your nomadic vampire life was not as great as you had convinced yourself it was. Here Elias was, just as much a vampire as you (albeit slightly different) and he was able to have a family, friends, who allowed his holiday traditions to live on for eternity. And you weren’t even enough to convince any other nomadic vampires to let you tag along with them for longer than a couple days.

When Elias finally hung up the phone, his soft footsteps making their way across the floor back to you, you fixed your eyes back on your book. He knew you heard the conversation with his friend, but he still explained to you the plans that were made. A group of his friends would drop by on Thanksgiving and they’d have a feast akin to those they had in their human lives. Everyone would bring their own favorite dishes and catch up, celebrate the holiday together.

As he sat back down on the couch, arm moving to settle around your shoulders again, you stood up quickly, setting your book down on the coffee table in the same movement. With a forced smile you told Elias you would go for a walk and before he could ask if you wanted him to tag along you were halfway into the woods behind his house.

Forgetting the almost hurt look on his face as you practically ran out of the house was hard, almost impossible, and it haunted you for the entirety of your walk. You knew you were overreacting, that there was a better way to respond to his news. Despite that, there was a part of you that was so hurt that he was able to maintain his humanity through his traditions with his family and friends while you were alone for so long, forced to navigate your new life with no one.

The longer you walked, the more you grieved for your lost family and friends, your lost holiday celebrations. You felt the peculiar prickle in your sinus cavities, a feeling you hadn’t experienced in a long time. The feeling you get right before you start crying. Of course, now there were no tears at all, only the uncomfortable dry prickling, causing you even more distress. Elias could cry, you had seen it when the two of you were comparing the differences in your physiology. It was just one more thing Elias had that you didn’t, and you felt the familiar pull of resentment deep in your chest. He didn’t deserve it, of course, Elias was the best thing that had happened to you since you woke up alone as a vampire all those years ago. Even still, the feeling continued to grow as you looped back toward his house.

You should’ve expected to see him standing on the back porch when you returned, his eyes scanning the woods closely to see you coming back. The look on his face was worried, mouth set in a grim line until he finally caught a flash of you between the trees. Immediately, his eyes softened and a smile pulled at the corner of his lips. Here he was, waiting for you with a smile while you spent hours starting to resent him. You didn’t deserve Elias, not even a little bit, but you let him pull you into his arms, allowed him to tuck your head under his chin and press a kiss to your hair.

“Are you alright, princess?” he asked, voice as soft as his eyes were mere moments ago.

“I’m fine,” you brushed off his concern, easily slipping out of his arms. “Just wanted to breathe in the autumn air, ya know.”

“I could’ve gone with you,” Elias offered, following you into the house.

“Didn’t you have plans to be making?” Try as you might, you couldn’t stop the tension, the bitterness, from worming its way into your voice. You heard the sharp inhale of breath from behind you, able to picture the questioning look on Elias’ face perfectly.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked again, more intent this time as you resumed sitting on the couch, this time on the far end from where the two of you sat before.

“Elias. I’m fine.” Avoiding his gaze on your face, you picked your book back up and kept reading from where you left off. The silence was heavy between the two of you as Elias stood there, dumbfounded as he looked at you. Finally, he realized you weren’t going to look up at him any time soon and he padded away into his bedroom.

When the sad strains of a guitar being played hit your ears, you put your book down again, tucking your limbs into yourself as you settled into a ball on the couch. You had hurt his feelings, your overreaction to his idyllic life, and the worst thing was that you weren’t sure if you completely regretted it.

---

The next week was weird, to say the very least. Instead of going to bed with Elias, snuggling with him as he slept during the day, you stayed in the living room with your books. When he started trying to stay awake all day to spend that time with you, neglecting his need for rest and encroaching on the space you needed to be grumpy, you started going outside. Here, Elias couldn’t follow you and you were finally granted the space you needed. At first, you could sense him watching you through his bedroom window, eyes watching the sun dance across your skin, but you didn’t acknowledge him. After a few days, he no longer watched you through his window before falling asleep, ignoring the fact you were even out there.

In the evenings, you locked yourself away in one of the spare bedrooms, spending most of the time staring at the walls around you. For a while, Elias paced back and forth in front of the door and you could hear his lips brushing together when he readied himself to say something, anything, to you. But as the time passed, you heard him shut himself away in his own room, the sound of the guitar making its way down the hallway to your ears.

It was the worst week you’d had since moving in with Elias, starting a new life with him. No longer the nomadic vampire you were merely months ago, you had him by your side constantly. But now, your emotions were getting the best of you and you couldn’t even appreciate the fact you had him, that he was your family. You wouldn’t allow yourself to. All you could do was think about how he had his family, how he never had to lose what you had to. And then the cycle of negativity and grief started all over again.

---

“You haven’t drank in a week, I can tell. Now either open this door and come get your mug or I’ll bust the door down.” Elias said from outside your door, two days before his Thanksgiving gathering.

“I’m not thirsty,” you argued, rolling your eyes at yourself for sounding like such a petulant child.

“Please don’t make me break this door down,” Elias answered quickly, as if he was expecting you to say something like that. “Come on, princess, you really need to drink. And we need to talk.”

With a sigh, you climbed out of the bed and unlocked the door to the bedroom. It opened slowly, revealing Elias’ face. His eyes were guarded, tense, but softened when he finally saw you. You stared at each other in silence for a moment before he guided you to the kitchen. Wordlessly, he handed you a warm mug - his favorite, you noticed - and sat down across the table from you.

“Thank you,” you whispered, knowing your normal speaking voice would be too loud for this situation.

“It’s no problem,” he assured you, eyes studying you as you drank.

And then it was quiet again, eery. The atmosphere was cold and uninviting, the exact opposite of what you were used to in this house. Elias still looked guarded but hurt at the same time, barely concealed in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you finally blurted out, pushing the mug away from you. “I’ve been awful to you this whole week and you didn’t deserve that. I’m so sorry.”

“What’s been going on with you, princess? You’ve been drawing back for so long...Do you want to leave?” Elias looked upset at the prospect, but you knew he would let you go if that’s what you wanted.

“No!” you nearly shouted, lunging forward to take his hand in your own. “I don’t want to leave. Ever. You’re stuck with me until you decide to let me go,” you assured him, offering a half smile. “I just...The holidays are a weird time for me. And ever since I was turned, I was able to forget about my family and what I was missing around the holidays. But then I found you and you’re so different, your life such a contrast to mine but we still fit, we still get along so well. And I was starting to feel normal, being here with you. But then you got that phone call about the Thanksgiving gathering you have with your friends and it hurt that you got to have your family, celebrate with them and maintain your traditions while I couldn’t even find anyone to be with for so long before I found you. And I was feeling sorry for myself, I guess, and I just needed some space, needed to work through it, I guess.”

It was silent as your words settled and Elias let it all process. And then his hand was tightening around yours as he stood up and moved over to your side of the table, pulling you into his arms. Your fingers tightened in his shirt, grasping handfuls of the fabric as he held you close.

“I’m so sorry you felt like that for so long,” he murmured into your hair, arms tightening around you even more. “I never even considered what this get together would be like for you. I was just excited to introduce you to my friends, to celebrate with you. But if it’s too hard for you, I can cancel and it can be just me and you.” At that, he separated from your embrace, pulling back to look you in the eyes. “You’re my family, princess, I hope you know that. And I hope you feel the same way, so I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone. Not anymore. Not with me.”

The prickling behind your eyes was back, and all you wanted in that moment was to be able to cry. Instead, dry sobs racked your body as you moved back into Elias’ arms, crushing him to you. “I love you,” you sighed, tucking your head into his neck.

Elias stiffened in your hold momentarily before his hands went to the sides of your face, tilting your head up to him. “I love you, too.” And then his lips were on yours and the universe righted itself again.

---

For hours afterward, the two of you discussed your human celebrations for the holidays. You told him all about your family’s huge spread, how every year you forgot ice and had to send a cousin out quickly before dinner. There was always at least one heated game of Uno with the cousins while all the adults settled around the table and napped and watched football. It was the one time of year that you could see all your family members, the ones scattered all around the country. It was a great time every year and you looked forward to the annual celebration.

Elias, on the other hand, had a more lowkey family celebration. His consisted of only his immediate family, all cozy and gathered in his house. He spent years side by side with his mother the night before Thanksgiving baking a pumpkin pie. It’s his favorite dessert and something he looked forward to every year. He hadn’t had one since he was turned and had to leave his family behind, but he was fine with it. He found his new family, his friends, and that was all that mattered to him.

By the time your discussion was over, the sun was up and Elias grabbed your hand, leading you to his room. He was exhausted, you could tell, and he told you sheepishly that he hadn’t been sleeping well for the past week as he was so concerned about you. Now, though, he settled into bed easily with his arms wrapped around you and fell asleep quickly.

You watched him as he slept, thinking about what all he told you about his own family holiday traditions. The fact that he’s missed out in his favorite dessert for years stuck with you, even though he made it sound like it was fine. Still, when he rolled over in his sleep, you climbed out of bed, intent to do something special for him. He deserved it for opening his home, his life, to you and for dealing with your whirlwind of emotions for the past week. And you knew just what would show him you appreciated him.

---

Baking was harder now since you couldn’t rely on your tastebuds to tell you how things were coming along. Instead, you had to settle for just using your sense of smell. You followed the recipe you found to the letter, precisely measuring each ingredient and hoping beyond hope that the pie turned out well.

Just as you were pulling it out of the oven, sniffing the air to see how it worked out, Elias walked into the kitchen. He stopped short, mouth agape as you placed the pie on the counter.

“What’s this?” he finally asked, walking closer to you.

“I um. Wanted to do something for you. And this way I contributed to this little gathering tonight, too. I hope it tastes okay, I followed this recipe I found but I don’t know-“ you rambled, wringing your hands together as you looked at the pie in front of you.

Before you could finish your thought, Elias wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, pressing a kiss to your lips. His eyes glimmered in the light of the kitchen as he pulled away, a soft smile on his face. “It looks perfect. Thank you.”

Hours later when all of his friends arrived, he introduced you to each of them individually. You sat right by his side during the meal, laughing and joking with all of his friends while they ate and reminisced on their long lives lived. Looking around the table, you realized that you did have a family, even if they weren’t what you so fondly remembered from your human life. This family was different, more eccentric, but you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

As Elias reached for the pumpkin pie in the center of the table, he caught your eye. The smile on his face widened when he saw the smile on your own face, one hand grabbing yours that you left on the table. He kissed your knuckles softly, squeezing your hand before turning his attention back to his pie.

This was exactly what you had been missing in your life, what you refused to think about for so long. And now with Elias, you knew you would never have to face the world alone. Not anymore. Never again.

#wwe fic #wwe imagine #wwe fanfic #elias samson #elias samson fic #elias samson fanfic

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kryptsune · 5 years

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🌼Howdy! I am so happy that I have been getting requests for Felldritch. It has been a lot of fun to do these and I will keep doing more if it is requested! These are more casual for me and honestly, I never expected them to be so desired. I was wondering though if you all wanted me to actually post these on AO3 like a standard fic. They are not like how I usually go about my writing but if you like them I am more than happy to do that! Just let me know in the comments. Let’s go down this rabbit hole together, shall we?

PART 1 <-- The Madhouse

PART 2 <-- OFF

DO NOT REPOST MY WORK WITHOUT MY PERMISSION IT IS NOT FOR YOUR USE. IF YOU LIKE MY WORK PLEASE REBLOG INSTEAD! It helps me so much! It makes such a difference.💙If you want more of these just let me know! It’s the only way I can gauge interest!

FELLDRITCH CH. {3/?}: Nightshade

How did the creature know her name? That tone of voice almost dripping with disbelief and laden with hope. Maybe it was desperation? Why would it take such a tone? She could still see it in the back of her mind; that animalistic skeletal mouth gaping open to devour her. Its blank sockets staring down at her, covered in occult symbols. Sacrifice. It was the only word she could associate with this broken, whispery-voiced beast.

She could have tried to run, but she knew from past experience that never worked out in her favor. Her strength was all she had. A hope that she would survive this. It was possible the creature knew of her even after seven years. These were pure nightmares. Ones that she wanted no part of. Her family. She wanted her family. Please, stars. She wanted her family. Sans was someone that she had not even come across. To make it so close, but never see him again, broke her heart. All this to fall short.

“Frisk? That really you?”

The deep, whispery, demonic voice that she had just heard had vanished, replaced by one that she thought she knew. It was still deep in tone, with a hint of gruffness to it, but nothing like before. What gave it away, however, was that hint of an accent. One that she had never once heard before she found herself in this strange otherworld of monsters and magic. That voice could belong to one person and one person only.

Her eyes fluttered open, ready to view the origin of the voice. If it was the beast playing tricks on her, then she would most likely die. If it was who she so desperately wished it to be, she would live to see another day. Unless... he too had turned on her in all those years. She wasn’t ready, but her eyes fell on exactly who she prayed it would be.

That silhouette was enough to cause her heart to clench, just staring wide-eyed at the monster. It felt like her heart was in a vice, almost keeping her from breathing. She was really here. He was really there. Having fallen from pure fear of being mauled by the beast that once stood in her path, she lifted her hands, shaking from the emotions coursing through her.

Hours. Days. Years. How long had it truly been? How long had she endured relentless torture? They are not real. Your imagination fuels your flights of fancy. An imagination unhinged to the point that reality and fantasy were blurred. Monsters did not exist. Skeletons were a morbid reality of one's mortality. A twisted desire to choose death… rather than life. Demons of another world plaguing her mind.

Frisk, we have gone over your case multiple times and it appears that you have been suffering from both visual and auditory delusions. Do you understand what I am saying? You are not well. Have you suffered any sort of unfortunate trauma that would bring these kinds of symptoms to occur? Monsters do not exist. They are simply flights of fantasy.

You say that you are friends with them. That they are your family. That they make you happy. Is that correct? It is concerning that you feel so strongly about creatures derived from the demons of the deepest nightmares. We found your body badly injured. A few broken bones. You were fortunate nothing was too serious. Did you perhaps fall? Such injuries are minor if that is the case.

We want to see you enter a calm mental state so you can once again return to society as you once were. Do you have any immediate family? Friends? Loved ones that we can attempt to contact to take you home when your sessions are over? ….

I see.

That is unfortunate. My condolences. In time perhaps you will remember. For now we shall keep you in our care until we feel you are fit to leave. These monsters you speak so highly of; are they perhaps memories lost? Do you know how you came to think of them being real to you? You mentioned a skeleton before, is this perhaps a mental reaction to suppressed memories? Perhaps even trauma? One does not conjure demons for company unless they feel guilty about something in their past. Frisk, have you had suicidal thoughts. Ending your life? The reaper…..

Frisk?

Frisk? FRISK!?

A gentle, trembling hand lifted toward him. All was silent at this moment. Her eyes stayed on his red ones. So bright and filled with something unplaceable. It was the same hue that haunted her every waking moment. A magical ruby that only she knew of. The only human. The only believer. The only thing she could see was him and her hand slowly reaching closer. If she could touch him, then she knew he was real. Everything. All those years could be washed away with just a single touch.

The bitter cold stung her pale cheeks as streams of nearly a decade of unshed tears slipped down her face. Every part of her was shaking from the strong emotions drowning her. She had never given up hope. Never stopped believing in herself. In them. She could feel herself falling apart. That shortness of breath, those overflowing tears; all signs that she was free. He stayed perfectly still, letting her process.

Those quaking fingertips brushed over smooth bone, cold to the touch, yet familiar. His red eyes flickered for a moment as she ran her hand over his cheek as if memorizing it. Every little detail, marveling once again at how his face worked just as she had done before. Nothing of her own mind could conjure all these sights and feelings. Her hand fell to rest on the charcoal-colored fluff that framed his face, as it always had.

All her poor exhausted mind and body could do was lean into him. Into that warmth that only he could give her. Her eyes fell closed, burying her tearstained face into that warm fur. It smelled just like she remembered it. One she used to hate until she had almost forgotten it, ripped from her memory forcefully. A hint of burnt cedar. It almost had a sweet smell to it, like an incense. She would let herself have this. Let herself, just one time, rest and sink into the bliss of feeling safe.

She was not crazy.

It was not all in her mind.

He was here. He was real.

He was real.

She knew how many times her mind looped that same set of words over and over. One might call such practice insanity, but for her, it was how she came to secure her own subconscious. That sweet smell surrounded her as her face buried deeper to rest against his neck. Just like his cheek, it was cool but comforting.

The soft sound of his clothing crinkling against her weight was all she could hear. The blinding white that surrounded them blanketed everything but the deep cherry trunks were the only thing that kept her from wanting to stay there, forever wrapped in his arms. He still had said nothing since he appeared, taking the nightmare from her. He took everything dark from her. Her horrible thoughts. That ferocious icy bite of cold upon her skin. The feeling that had nearly torn her soul in two ever since she left with that promise on her lips. All of it. He was her rest.

With her reminiscing and mind finally, at ease, she pulled away from him with a smile. Those tears had carved faint lines on her pale cheeks. The voice she finally spoke with sounded strained until she cleared her throat. She couldn’t tell if the look on his face was positive or negative. More shocked into a sense of bewilderment than anything else, “It’s me, Red. It’s me… Frisk.” She could feel herself nearly choking on the words, trying to prevent another fit of shaking sobs to leave her, “ I am back. I am back like I promised. I am home.”

That shaky voice, so filled with relief and joy, cracked as she took a steadying breath. It was all she could do. She felt like her heart was going to burst. His hold on her only tightened as those skeletal claws brushed over her arm. His fingers scrapped gingerly over the skin before he pulled back to look at her, mirroring what she had done to him. Did he think she, too, was a figment? A dream? A delusion like everything else?

Frozen at this moment, she watched that wide, sharp-toothed grin begin to pull up on his face. Red was not the scariest monster around, but he had certain frightening characteristics. His teeth, for one. They were very similar to that of a shark. The first time they had met his smile had not been as altered as it was now. His bottom set of teeth at the ends came up in large golden tusks. That was new.

She could feel his palm resting gently on her cheek, bringing her face to him so that her forehead rested against his own. Even with his look somewhat different, he was still the skeleton she remembered. She could see the happiness on his face as those sockets closed to hold her closer. They were close. Maybe closer than most friends but they had not seen each other in so long, “Frisk. I can’t believe it's really you. Everyone thought ya forgot 'bout us. I never gave up.” Just hearing those words from him squeezed at her soul.

His hands were still on her face as she pulled back, “I never gave up fighting to get back, Red. They told me over and over that, you weren’t real. That you were just made up.” The comment caused him to burst out into laughter. Him? Not real? She had to be joking. Only when the laughter died down did he realize she wasn’t. The look on her face had him pulling her to him again just resting her head on his shoulder. He knew just how much she loved that fluffy collar of his. His hand came to rub at her back, “Look, kitten. I know we just had our little reunion, but we shouldn't be out in the open like this. Come on, I’ll take ya to ma station.”

They talked very little, only letting the soft crunch of snow fill the empty air. What was she supposed to say? One would think after nearly a decade she would have something to say to him. Just leaning against him with his arm wrapped around her was enough, “Red… I am sorry it has taken me so long to come back. It’s a burden on my heart when I think of how much time has passed.” Her head was hung as she stared at the flecks of rock and branches that moved passed as they continued forward.

She noticed his gaze was on her from the corner of his socket, but that didn’t stop the smile on his face. That big toothy grin stretched from cheekbone to cheekbone, “Don’t worry bout it darlin. Yer here now right? A lot of things have changed since ya left, but don’t worry. Got an eye socket out for ya.” She was left with his signature wink before a soft chuckle bubbled up from his ribcage, “Always have. Always will.”

All she could do in response was give him a lopsided smile of her own, “I guess first times don’t count huh?” It was no secret that he tried to kill her, but only once. It was out of pure instinct. When she came back, he was astounded, only tilting his head like a curious puppy. He had been kind of intimidating back then, but now all she saw underneath his chilling appearance was the loveable dork of a skeleton that she considered her best friend.

He gave her a look before waggling his eyebrow bones up and down, “What? The first time we met you knew I was ta die for~” She felt his arm around her pull her even closer as they walked. They had to be getting there soon, but she didn’t care. It was nice to talk to him. To joke and maybe do the joking- flirting they tended to do, “Uh huh. Surrrreeee. Well you did bone me pretty hard.~” She couldn’t keep a straight face after saying that.

Neither could he apparently as he just smirked at her playfully, “Yer such a masochist.” The laughter just continued to increase between the two. It almost brought tears to her eyes, “Alright, alright, enough of the teasing.” His smirk was replaced by a goofy grin, “Aww, but I was just gettin started. Wanted ya to be beggin for more~” Her hand connected gently with the black sweater under his jacket unable to contain her giggles, “I said stop, you dork!” All he did was jokingly roll his eye lights and shrug with that huge smile, “Never.”

She was holding her side even when they both came to a stop. All the laughter was hurting her sides and causing her eyes to begin to water. Her fingers brushed the tears away gingerly, “I almost forgot what it was like to laugh so hard. Thank you, Red.” A soft bump of her head caused her to open her eyes to look at him. He was resting his forehead against hers, “Anythin ta make you smile, kitten. I missed ya so much.”

It was unspoken, but she could almost see his soul under that black knit sweater, just humming in content. He missed her that much? His ruby eye lights stared deeply into her own. It was like he was looking straight into her soul, and she was sure if he had that ability he would have seen it do a little backflip. She had only ever seen him this happy once. That was a long time ago. The first time that they had been a family. It was like a fleeting dream now, “I thought about you every day. You kept me going Red. No matter what they said. I knew just holding onto our memories together. Our friendship, that I would be able to make it through.” As she spoke his eye lights quivered, but only for a moment, before he pulled back and began rubbing her back gently, “We’re here, doll.” The stand that she remembered was not the one in front of her now. It looks so ominous, and that’s when she froze solid. The symbol that was practically branded into her mind stared down at her. The same one that oozed off the wall in Toriels leaving trails of blood in its wake. The eye.

Her heels dug into the snow-covered earth, keeping her from moving any closer. She buried herself into his side, shaking her head as the shivers ran up her spine. The last time she had seen that symbol, a terrifying beast had nearly devoured her. She could still picture those inky claws stretching forward to grab a hold of her, “R….Red...what….is that?” Brown eyes stared in horror, unable to tear themselves away.

She felt him move from beside her, blocking her view from the object of her horror. Those bony palms just rested on her cheeks, rubbing a gentle thumb just under her eye, “Darlin, what’s wrong? Ya don’t need ta be scared. I’m here with ya.” His sockets were furrowed in concern, trying to calm her and put her mind at ease.

Frisk’s shaky finger pointed just behind him, “That symbols got ya all scared darlin? Nothin ta worry about. It’s painted on a lot of things round here. Nothin bad. I promise.” She knew that Red didn’t make promises he didn’t keep. The tension in her body eased away. Her hand fell to his shoulder, “It’s been haunting me ever since I got here. Red...I… found it painted against the stairwell at Toriel’s...in blood.”

The look on his face could only be classified as one of confusion. His brow bones raised, he looked over his shoulder at the symbol before turning back to her. His thumb continued to make soft circles on her cheek. It was strangely calming, “Nah, darlin. First, monsters don’t bleed. Ya know that. Second, that things all over tha place, likea said before. Nothin's gonna hurt you while I’m here, sweetheart. Ok? Now, smile for me?” His claw-like fingers found themselves running through her hair. He knew it had a calming effect on her.

She nodded as he held his hand out to her and lead her closer, “Sweetness, we gotta long discussion to have. I wanna know about all tha time ya been gone, and I’m sure you got questions fer me bout why everthin seems so different.” Well, he was the one person, or rather monster, in this entire world that knew her better than anyone.

The sentry station that stood before her no longer looked as it once did. A detail she noted earlier before spotting that symbol that froze her mind. It almost looked like a traveling wagon. The kind you would find a gypsy to be using, “ This is your station? It looks nothing like I remember it, Red.” It left her scratching the back of her head in pure confusion.

His chuckle tickled her ear as he brought her closer, “Wha? Ya don’t like it? See, tha cool thing is that it’s portable. Can take it anywhere round here. Don’t need ta stay in one place all tha time like before. Had my bro help with tha design.” He seemed proud of himself, with his eye sockets closed and that huge smile. It was cute. “No, I didn’t say that bonehead. It's just new. I am not used to it. I suppose that makes sense. Has the business been going well?”

Frisk remembered the old station, and how he had tried to sell her what he called a "hot cat". It was just a cattail from Waterfall on a bun. The old memory brought a smile to her face. So different. The wagon was made of a deep cherry wood, presumably the same wood that surrounded them. It was painted with black, varying shades of reds, and white. What struck her was how elaborately it was decorated. There were motifs of skeleton monsters and strange occult symbols that she did not recognize.

The two windows in the front of the stand were ebony with the paint, just catching the light enough that it shined. That red symbol stared back at her. As if the depiction of the eye was something more. Something to remind her that she was not alone. The wheels had sunk a little in snow, casting an eerie red glow over the blanket of white.

Red had disappeared, presumably inside, as she turned to look around the area. It seemed much more ominous than she remembered it. The way the fog lingered at ankle level and swirled in almost tentacle-like wisps. She was grateful for the magical daylight of Snowdin, otherwise, it would have sent her teeth chattering; and not from the weather. The trees flanked either side of the path, almost like prison bars. No animals or environmental sounds sounded through the forest. That was one of the creepy things about Snowdin. It was deathly quiet.

*CRACK*

The sound of wood colliding with itself hit her eardrums, causing her to spin in the direction of the noise. Her nerves were entirely shot, and her body tensed only to relax. It was just the wagons double windows hitting each other. Red had his hands resting on the counter, “Heh. Sorry, darlin. Didn mean ta scare ya! Kinda jumpy ain't ya?” His sockets were closed, chuckling at her from his place in the wagon, “Why Dontcha come inside? Get nice and cozy and outa tha snow?”

He disappeared just as she made her way to the side of what used to be his old sentry station.

A deep cherry ladder led up into the inner parts of the wagon, carved as if it was made of twisted tree trunks. The sight would have been ominous to most, but she found herself undisturbed as she climbed the steps into the wagon.

It was cozy but not too small in her opinion. A small table rested against the right wall. In the back was a couch draped in some random colored fabrics of red and purple. When she glanced around, she noticed all these strange symbols, things hanging from the ceiling made of glass beads and feathers. It was so strange and definitely not something that she pinpointed Red to be into.

She nearly bumped her head on what looked to be a series of strung up bones. Wasn’t that weird for him? Maybe. Where did he get them anyway? Monsters were entirely comprised of magic and dusted when damaged. That was a fact. Yet the decoration she was looking at hanging on the wall next to where Red had opened the double doors was what looked to be like the skull of Gyftrot. A kind of deer-like creature.

At least it was warm. “Red, what is going on here? Why is everything so weirdly occult; and why do you have those teeth and-” He cut her off, leaning half out of the window with what looked to be a long match in his hand. He was trying to light some of the old lanterns and candles that sat on the outside of the wagon. The wax was slowly fusing into the wood as if they were meant to be that way.

When he returned, he lit a few candles and incense sticks in the space before blowing out the small fire that was alight on his match. He set it down before plopping onto the couch in the back, motioning for her to join him, “Hold up there kitten, ya can’t just bombard me with questions like that, yeah? I’ll answer em all tha best I can. I got some of my own for ya. That fair?” She nodded as his hand lightly patted the spot next to him.

As she passed by the table, she realized a deck of cards with that all strange eye symbol was painted on the back of them. She had seen then before, tarot cards. Ones that were used to tell one's future, the past, and the present. Some of them were just helpful life choices that one could keep in the back of their mind on the day to day. Others were much more frightening, predicting love, life, and death. Her eyes scanned them before sitting next to him.

It was like being wrapped in a warm blanket as she snuggled up against him. Her small shivers died down as handed her a teacup. The aroma was strange, but she took it with both hands. Its warmth felt comforting. Red was more the hot chocolate type, so it was odd for him to give her tea. It didn’t seem to matter too much as she brought the cup to her lips. A floral scent hit her nose as she closed her eyes, “Sweetness, why Dontcha just rest for a bit. We’ll talk when ya wake up.”

Was she so tired before? Her vision started to blur, and she put a hand to her forehead. She felt dizzy as she leaned against him, and darkness fought for control. No, she didn’t want to fall asleep. Anything but that. She tried to tell him, but it crept into her vision. The teacup in her hands hit the floor, shattering into a million pieces. Her fingers gripped onto him, “Please I don’t...I don’t want to…” She could barely feel his hands on her cheeks as her vision of him slipped from her. Those ruby eyes faded as she was pulled into the darkness, “N...no, please…. I can’t…”

Just relax...

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tryingtobts · 5 years

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Helpless

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Jeon Jungkook (Ft. slight M!reader x Kim Namjoon)

Genre: Angst Fluff although there is an extra angst at the end

A/n: Oof a prequel. Still not finished with mistakes unfortunately since happy endings is not my things.

Jungkook’s PoV

I watched as (Y/n)-hyung and Taehyung picked out something for us to wear for my first college party. Hyung insisted I go although playing games sounded more appealing to me. He beckoned me over and held a shirt and a pair of pants to me.

“Here Kookie, wear this.” He said as I sighed.

He rolled his eyes, “I know parties aren’t your thing, but it’ll be fun. If you feel too uncomfortable just tell me and we’ll leave, I promise.” Hyung said with a smile.

I gave him a small smile and went to my room to change. Tae followed me looking at what accessories would match my outfit. He decided on a nice golden bracelet and a cute set of earrings before I shoved him out.

He yelled, “Hey- “before I laughed and closed the door, “Yeah yeah bye talk to you later hugs and kisses. Call back later this person is unavailable.” I said.

He made a noise of distress, “Wha- This isn’t a phone call- Hyung! Jungkook is being mean again!” I heard his voice whine, getting quieter as he ran to see (Y/n)-hyung.

I quickly changed and prepared for my first college party.

-Timeskip-

I internally groaned as my brother left to get drinks, but I put on a fake smile and talked to Tae and some of his friends. Tae poked me and directed my attention to the edge of where people were dancing where I see (Y/n)-hyung talking to one of the most beautiful people I’ve seen in my life. I felt my heart beat fast and my face heat up. (Y/n)-hyung walked a bit towards me and gave me a drink. I kept watching the handsome stranger and grabbed hyung’s arm as he was about to walk away. He looked at me concerned before I gave him a smile and pointed to the man.

“T-That- who’s? C-Can I?” I managed to say, helpless as the stranger’s beauty left me speechless

Hyung looked surprised and looked at the person I pointed at. He smiled softly and shook me off to walk towards the stranger. My heart started to hurt as he held the other’s hand, wondering what he was going to do and if he’s going to take the beautiful man for himself.

I thought my heart was done for when I heard the man ask, “Where are we going?”

My heart dropped in despair as my brother laughed and said, “I’m going to change your life.”

I couldn’t see his eyes, but he directed his beautiful smile at (Y/n)-hyung and said, “Then by all means, lead the way.”

I felt like crying but then was surprised when hyung stopped the man in front of me and I blushed when we made eye contact. Looking in his eyes, oh god, I feel like I can fly or that I can drown in them. (Y/n)-hyung smiled at me to signal me to talk and I stuck out my hand out for a shake nervously.

Giving the biggest charming smile, I spoke, “Jeon Jungkook. It’s nice to meet you.”

The stranger gave a slightly confused smile and rose an eyebrow, I looked nervously at my hand as he asked, “Jeon?”

‘I hope my status doesn’t scare him’ I thought in fear.

“My very cute bunny of a brother.” (Y/n)-hyung chuckled.

I snapped my head up, blushing from embarrassment before the stranger took my hand and kissed my knuckles and I’m sure my heart skipped a beat.

“My name is Kim Seokjin, but you can call me Jin.” He said sweetly.

I swooned at his sweet voice and forgot to say anything more and looked at him like I was helpless.

God, my brain was down for the count as I stuttered a response, “Y-You umm- “

Jin just gave me a charming smile and I internally screamed as he flirted with me, “You know, parties aren’t usually my thing but meeting you was worth going tonight.”

I swore he could hear my heart beat loudly and I just quickly nodded and dumbly replied, “Same.”

I mentally facepalmed and looked to my brother for help just for him to smile teasingly at me and said, “Well, I’ll leave you to it. Use protection Kookie~” Although, he sounded kind of off when he said it, I ignored it and made a noise of embarrassment. Jin laughed and spun me around to dance as he brought up random subjects to make me more comfortable. I knew he was just perfect when he started to talk about games, superheroes and listened as I fanboyed about Ironman and my favorite artist.

When the night was coming to an end and we still swayed to the quiet music, I made a bold move to ask him for his phone number. His ears turned red a bit and he nodded and put it in my phone. I quickly texted him so he could save my number.

I smiled as he nervously rubbed his neck and asked, “I know this is weird to ask but I like to sometimes send letters when it comes to people I really like. Do you think I can have an address to send them to you?”

My cheeks flared up, “Y-You really like me?” And he gave me a small smile with a quick nod.

Before I could respond I heard my name being called, “Kookie!” Tae drunkenly yelled and slung an arm around me, “Wow, ya sstill here! Hyungy said to ssee if ya wanted to go home. Ssomething about you getting l- “I almost screamed and put a hand on his mouth to stop him.

“Sorry, my cousin likes to embarrass me. Actually, it seems my whole family made it their mission to do so.” I apologized but Jin just chuckled and said it was okay.

I quickly bowed to Jin and texted him my address before I left and hoped he would text me or maybe send a letter.

-Timeskip-

Tae and (Y/n)-hyung giggled beside me as they read another letter from Jin while I wrote him back. I can’t believe it’s been a few months and I’m still staying up at night writing letters to him. It feels like my life gets better and better with each letter I received.

“We should form a harem. if you’d really love me, you would share him.” (Y/n)-hyung laughed as I continued my letter.

“Ha! Yeah right, hyung! Get your own significant other!” I laughed and punched his arm.

He laughed before he got serious and patted my head, “You really love him, right?” He asked and I nodded, “Then be careful, my bunny. Some men will do whatever it takes to survive in this day and age.” (Y/n)-hyung softly said and hugged me.

-Timeskip-

I smiled nervously as I opened the door for Jinnie. He greeted me with a hug and a kiss. He brushed my bangs out of my face.

“Happy 2 year anniversary. Don’t worry, your dad loves me.” He said with a confident smile, but I could still detect some nervousness under his facade.

I laughed and led him to the dining room. My dad already knows Jinnie and likes him, but this dinner is going to be different. So, I watched with fondness as my hopefully, soon to be fiancé, greeted my family with a hug. As we ate dinner, I nervously watched as Jinnie stood up from his seat and asked my dad for permission to marry me. Everyone seemed to freeze as my dad’s face went from smiling to blank. My eyes start to burn, and I started to panic thinking we’re through as he made his way to Jin.

But despite my negative thoughts, he gave Jin a big smile, shook his hand and patted his back and stated, “As long as you stay true and make my youngest son the happiest person alive, then go ahead.”

I snapped my head up as Jin turned around smiling. I was so helplessly filled with happiness and love that I threw myself at him and we fell to the ground laughing with mirth while everyone else cheers and laughs.

I just can’t wait to marry the man I love and trust the most and I can’t believe that this handsome man is going to be mine.

-Timeskip-

It was the night before our wedding, and I paced around my empty hotel room nervously and excitedly. (Y/n)-hyung and Tae were out preparing for tomorrow and said that they had to make sure Jin and I don’t sneak out and see each other before the wedding. Hyung said it was bad luck. I sighed and threw myself on the bed bored and lonely.

That suddenly changed when a loud knocking came from the front door. I quickly went to the door thinking it was Tae or (Y/n)-hyung needing help with last minute preparations. But to my surprise it was my soon to be husband, hushing me and rushing inside the room and quickly locking the door.

Startled, I sputtered out, “Wha- But-huh?” He just smiled as I calmed down enough to compose myself before continuing, “Jinnie! You aren’t supposed to be here!” I yelled.

He quickly hushed me in panic before saying in a whisper, “I know, I know. I just wanted to see you before the ceremony, you know? Plus, I want to tell you something really important.” Jin said.

Confused, I stayed quiet and motioned him to continue. He took my hands and said, “Jungkookie, I don’t have a dollar to my name, own any land or company, I’m not any sort of famous. All I have is my honor, patience of a saint, a useless college degree and my handsome brain,” I giggled at his statement and he grinned a bit before he continued, “I swear that your family brought out a side of me I never knew I had. TaeTae asks me for advice when he has problems, (Y/n) once tried to get with me-“He paused to chuckle when my face soured and my grip on his hands tightened.

Jinnie caressed my face and rested his forehead on mine, “Don’t stress over it, he was hammered and thought I was Joonie. Either way, my love for you is strong and I wouldn’t ever doubt it. So strong that I can’t wait to get a small place in Seoul and figure out the rest of our lives together.” He kissed me and I felt my eyes well up with tears of joy.

I lightly hit his chest and whined, “You idiot! Save it for the vows tomorrow! You’ll make me cry now and I’ll be puffy and gross for the ceremony!”

Jin just laughed and we kissed before the door was thrown open to reveal an angry (Y/n)-hyung with our newly adopted son, Jimin, in one arm. He pointed at Jin, “You!” He yelled as Jin yelped and tried to hide behind me, but I moved out of the way not wanting to face my brother’s wrath.

“Sorry, hyung. But he practically forced himself in the room and I couldn’t do a thing.” I said sadly and pushed my fiancé to my brother as a sacrifice, then cooed softly as Jimin laughed at Jin’s noise of distress.

I snickered at his betrayed face that screamed traitor at me. He tried to calm (Y/n)-hyung down but it failed as he was dragged by the ear out the door.

“Love you!” I called after them.

“Love you too! You traitor!” Jin screamed as I giggled.

I fell onto my bed and screamed into the pillow. I was just so excited to marry him and say I do.

-The Next day-

My dad and I made our way to the altar when we got there, he patted my back and went to go sit in his seat. I looked over to where Jin’s best man, Namjoon, stood and he gave me a thumbs up as the music for Jin started to play. I snapped my head to the entrance and my breath was taken away. He wore a white suit with a white cape flowing gracefully as he and Tae walked down the aisle. I remembered some time ago, hearing Namjoon say something about Jin wanting to have something equivalent to a bride’s long dress but not wanting to wear a dress. I didn’t think too much of it but now I wish I prepared myself to see such an ethereal being.

He stood in front of me with a smile as Tae walked pass to prepare to officiate us.

When Jin took my hands together, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, “I do.” I accidentally said out loud.

I didn’t realize until giggles were heard from the whole room and Tae groaned, “Hey! I didn’t get to that part yet!” I felt my entire face heat up in embarrassment, but Tae just chuckled and continued.

When it came to the vows, I started, “Jin, when I first looked into your eyes, I felt like I was on cloud 9 and I’ve felt nothing but happiness being by your side. You drown me in so much love that I can’t help but feel nothing but such helplessness as I want to make you feel the same love. You love the people around you, you take such good care of me and everyone that I fall in love with you every day. You’re so kind and selfless and even when we had fought that one late night, you showed up at 2 am at my dorm with my favorite food, flowers and drink, and to this day I still don’t know how you managed to get all of that at such an hour or even get into the dorms in the first place!” I paused as people chuckle before I finished, “I, Jeon Jungkook, want to stay forever by your side. Through sickness and health, till death do us part.”

Jin quickly wiped his tears that gathered in his eyes before he started his vows, “W-Wow, here I thought I was going to make you cry with our vows,” he said with a watery laugh, I just smiled and wiped some more tears with my thumb, “Jungkook, god where do I start. You’re the most talented and beautiful person I’ve met in my life. I love you so much that it hurts, and I can’t believe you would honor someone like me to ask for your hand in marriage. All our adventures together have been so wonderful and thrilling, you’ve shown me that there’s no limit to love and that everyone can become what they want. You remember when I told you how I grew up right? My dad raised me after my mom left us till, he grew sick, and I’ve never had a family since, but I remember his face and I swear that you, Kookie, will never feel so helpless in a sad situation. You helped me grow into the person I am today, never once had I thought my life would change so much. I still can’t believe that we have our little Jiminie already and I can’t wait to start this small family with you and him. I know that my life will be amazing because you are in it.” He paused to take a deep breath in, “I, Kim Seokjin, will love you till the end of time, even when death comes to us, through sickness and health, I will be by your side, forever and always.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until he finished and wiped my face of tears.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you, husband and husband. You may now kiss!” Tae finished.

I launched myself at Jin and kissed him while he laughed and spun me around. Cheers and our small I love yous were heard in the room, and I just can’t help but feel our love burn itself into my heart.

You pulled away and whispered, “I’ve never loved anything more than you, my bunny.”

And I swore I’ve never felt such helpless love and happiness in my life.

Extra (Like stop here if you don’t want angst):

I read the newspaper in hatred, a statement from someone I held dearly, after so many years, he had admitted to cheating on my dear bunny of a brother. Packing my bags, I plan to move back to Seoul from mine and Namjoon’s home in Ilsan to stand by my brother’s side and hopefully try to help mend his broken heart when he sees the news. Right on cue, my phone lit up with his name.

I quickly answered, “Jungkook-“

He interrupted with a sob, “H-Hyung. H-He cheated! Why? Was I not good enough Did-” He cried out before I shushed him.

“No, Kookie. You did nothing wrong but love him. You’re the most amazing person someone can have. He’s the one who made the mistake. He kept wanting more from the world and look his greed consumed him.” I said bitterly and waited for his response but was met with silence, so I continued softly, “Don’t worry, Bunny. Hyung will be there soon.”

He gave a noise of acknowledgment and hung up. Rush of anger for the man who broke his heart flowed through me and I slammed my bag shut and rushed out to be met by Namjoon, his face blank but his eyes angry.

“Don’t kill him.” He said simply and kissed my forehead while handing me my plane tickets.

I gave him a kiss back, smiled bitterly and left saying,

“All I’m giving him is the congratulations he so deserves for breaking Kookie’s heart.”

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