#my motivation is directly tied to validation

[skitskatdacat63]

Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)

- explanation & w/o text:

Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!

First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.

Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.

Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.

Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.

About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.

I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")

I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.

#ah well this was certainly a project.... #rn i feel like im devolving into illness so im glad i could finish this up before it possibly gets worse #this is my magnum opus as of rn. just bcs ive not really drawn such a longform thing for them!! happy w it :) #i think i def like the first one the best #it made me suffer so bad but i think i soften on my own art after a few days #like i finish it and know its 'good' but cant help but critique every little thing #but ive had that one done for almost a week so now i look at it and really love it #i was originally just going to draw that one only but then realized i really like the full dialog so. might as well. #generally i liked this though bcs even if it ws difficult. it was nice to have really direct and clear reference #like ah ik where im going w this rather than it being an image in my head that i cant represent the way that I want #ah anyways all my vettonso aus tend to be just wanting to explore specific dynamics of theirs #and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic #basically: THEY'RE MIRRORS!!! #there's always something to be said abt nando being resentful abt seb bcs of 2010/2012/etc and then seb taking his seat at ferrari #but then witnessing seb basically go thru the same trials and tribulations and failures at ferrari #and realizing huh wait maybe he's not who i was villianizing him as. maybe hes at my level too. maybe he's not infallible. maybe hes like m #a very bitter nando who has to fight btwn his impulse to ruin seb further or to relate to him and start to like him #so yeah that's ^ basically what i want to portray in this au(just like all AUs tbh) #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #catie.rambling.txt #catie.art. #vettonso #bond au

[askanaroace]

Ask An Aro Ace ASAW Day 1: Trauma-Based Aromanticism

So today I want to write a bit about what it's like to be aromantic when your aromanticism is trauma-based, such as when a traumatic experience completely cut away your romantic attraction or when you still experience attraction but lack the motivation, confidence, or desire to act on it due to a traumatic experience.

Regardless of your flavor of queer, being queer is always scary in some way. You might be afraid of accepting your queerness, afraid of being wrong and different - afraid of being persecuted and oppressed. You might be afraid of your loved one's reactions, of facing their hate or judgement or even just their ignorance. You might be afraid of navigating through society with your new understanding of who you are, afraid of how this will impact your safety and your job and your ability to buy a home and start a family and get married and have kids.

When you're a trauma-based aromantic, you might, like me, also be afraid of navigating your own community. Afraid you won't be welcome. Afraid you validate bigotry and misconceptions against your community. Afraid people in and out of your community will believe you to be a faker who just needs to be "fixed".

For a long time, I walked this very confusing like where I identified as aromantic to allos but as not-aromantic to aros. I knew allo was no longer a fitting title and that I would not fit in with them. But I was also afraid that I was invading in a place where I shouldn't be in aro spheres. And even after I started broaching aro spaces as an aro, I was very fearful and cautious of revealing that I was caedromantic, someone whose aromanticism was directly tied in with the trauma I survived, which also meant that I couldn't relate to or speak on a lot of aro experiences that other aros had.

And while the target of my fear was me, this was honestly incredibly unfair to the aromantic community, who has never made me feel unwelcome or invalid. The aro community never asked or questioned why I was aro, even after learning the caedro part. They never judged me or silenced me. They never interrogated me. They never pushed me away or told me to leave. Aromantics have only ever accepted and supported me. It was only ever the cis allohets that have made me feel like I am not enough.

And more than that, by talking more and more about being a trauma-based aro, I have discovered that there are a lot more of us than you might imagine. Due to the kind of society we live in, people have trauma, even serious big-T Trauma, is damn common. And trauma changes your brain. It changes how you interact with the world. It changes your relationship to yourself and to others. You can change this further with healing, but trauma can indeed change the brain. It's valid and legitimate if trauma impacts your identity, how you relate to it, and/or how you express it.

But it's scary to admit this and talk about it because the cis allohets only want to use this as a gotchya. For them, this is not the opportunity about the wrongness of our society: exposing people to traumas, gaslighting them over traumas, refusing to provide support and resources for healing over traumas, punishing people for displaying any effects of trauma - it's about using this to invalidate aromanticism.

Any aspec person has heard the anti-aspec claims that being aspec is caused by trauma/mental illness/medication and can therefore be cured, as if we are ill, as if being ill is a reason to harm people. As a trauma-based aro, it feels like you are a direct confirmation of this claim. It feels like your very existence is problematic and harmful to other aros.

BUT!!!

Some people ARE aspec or question if they're aspec or think they're aspec for a while due to things like trauma, mental illness, and/or medication, and this is valid!!! This is the same shitty anti-phase logic like something can be valid and real if it's a phase. You know what's a phase? Everything. Every. Damn. Thing. is a phase. Being a toddler, being a teenager, being alive, bell bottoms, checks being a form of payment, cursive, typewriters, hair length, etc. You know what? Trauma changes you and healing isn't going to return you to who you were before you experienced that trauma. Mental illness is treated and accommodated and coped with but can't just be cured or erased. Some medications need taken for life. It doesn't matter why someone is aromantic or even if they know why at all. Aromantics exist, aromanticism harms no one, and aromantic people deserve to be respected and treated well. The problem isn't that I'm aromantic due to trauma. The problem is that I was exposed to that trauma in the first place. The problem is that support for healing from this trauma is so hard to access. The problem is the way people treat me for having this trauma. The problem is the way people treat me for being aromantic. But being aromantic, for whatever reason, is not a problem.

It doesn't matter if trauma-based aromantics exist or not. Even if we went away or "got cured" (I like being aromantic! I want to be aromantic forever!), anti-aro bigots would still be against aromanticism and seek to harm us. I learned a long time ago that there's no way to make bigots happy. There is no compromise to "I want you to have never existed in the first place, but since you're here now, you're an abomination who should be killed". Targeting trauma and other similar things 'causing' aromanticism is only one way of how anti-aro bigotry is expressed. Even if we didn't exist, the bigots would still hate us. They would still screech that we were broken and wrong and never meant to exist. In my experience, the best way to respond to this in a way that does the least harm to your spirit and soul is to embrace your identity wholeheartedly and exude pride and celebration.

So I'm done hiding. Yes, I am aro due to trauma. Yes, I am happy with this. No, I don't expect everyone to feel the same as me or understand the joy this brings me. No, not all aros are aro due to trauma.

But yes ALL aros are valid and legitimate and deserve to be celebrated!!!

#asaw #asaw 2023 #aromantic spectrum awareness week #arospec awareness week #aromantic #aro #aro spectrum #caedromantic #acoromantic #nebularomantic #erasromantic #inritoromantic #byumaromantic #trauma #trauma based aromanticism #aromanticism and trauma #trauma and aromanticism #asaw day 1 #long post #requisromantic

[mbti-notes]

Hello, English is not my native language, but I will try to be brief in my doubts. I'm a 19 year old INFJ girl. How do I become better at evaluating other people and what do they expect from me? I want to be able to socialize and communicate with them before I misjudge each one, especially Se users. I appreciate any advice you can give me, thank you.

You seem to be referring to critical reasoning ability. Before I start on that, answer this: (Since you mention Se types) Do you have a habit of judging people before really knowing them? If so, reflect: what is the point of doing that? What motivates the habit? Where do those judgments really come from? The path to understanding others is through understanding oneself first and foremost.

What does it mean to be a good critical thinker? It means you don't prejudge people/situations, rather, you suspend judgment until there is a valid reason to make a judgment. If you want to be able to make reasonable and fair evaluations of anything, including people, you must first have enough data/information to work with:

Enter with an open and neutral mind

Observe facts and details objectively

Draw conclusions using sound logic and reasoning

You should be able to clearly explain what your judgments are and exactly how you came to them. You should be open to feedback about how your reasoning process was flawed or perhaps overlooked important information.

An important part of learning a skill is understanding and removing the obstacles that stand in the way of good learning. Immature INFJs struggle with all three of the above steps of critical reasoning because:

they presume to know before they experience (problematic Ni)

they selectively gather facts and details to support their assumptions (problematic Se)

they aren't aware of being emotionally triggered and how it leads them to twist logic and draw incorrect conclusions (problematic Fe-Ti)

The above pitfalls happen in large part due to Fe underdevelopment that enables Ti loop distortions of judgment. INFJs cannot be at their best without healthy Fe and the emotional intelligence it confers, which includes:

a willingness to trust and open up to the emotional risks that are necessary for advancing relationships to a deeper level (with people who are capable of it)

emotional awareness that accurately gauges whether social interactions/relationships are going well or suffering problems that need to be addressed

ethical awareness to know how to set, respect, and enforce appropriate interpersonal boundaries

empathy and communication skills to dialogue authentically and productively about feelings, needs, and expectations, in order to ensure deep mutual understanding

These are all things that can be worked on directly, questions about them come up often, see related tags and the recommended books on the resources list. Focus more attention on the areas you struggle most with.

#infj #auxiliary fe #tertiary ti #ti loop #emotional intelligence #social skills #communication #boundaries #critical thinking #ask

[tiredassmage]

Y’know, I know Hutta gets some shit as far as being a starting planet for the Aesthetic and that’s a completely valid judging point, but I’ve also realized playing through it yet again (let’s not talk about how many agents I’ve done Hutta on and also my several attempts at Bounty Hunter before Len stuck) between the class quests and a few side quests I always find myself doing (I kinda wanna do the rest, see if they add anything to this thought), Hutta is a really good exploration of a character’s motivations for me.

Thoughts on my favorite two under the cut - for spoilers, I suppose, if you haven’t done them and because one of them potentially involves violent actions made in front of a child, depending on your choices - which I mention to pose questions about why a PC might make the choice they do.

The two I always do - first primarily out of their proximity to story quest locations and then continuously as quests I just genuinely enjoyed - are the Czerka representative (”the Black Death”) and Gina’s situation with her husband and son. In short, they always strike me as a peek into what my character thinks of the Empire’s status quo - the Czerka representative tests their views on aliens [generalizing for categorical purposes; it can be directly about the Evocii, if the character ends the consideration with it there, or do they think of it as a broader context issue within the Empire?] and will they accept bribes. You can ask the Twi’lek merchant if he’d like this ‘Black Death’ murdered, and he says that’s bad for business, but leaves it up to you. Does your PC take that as a job and either accept the representative’s bribe to leave him alone, or drop Nem’ro’s name for the LS intimidate option? Or do they say ‘up yours’ to the bribe and kill the representative? Do they merely prefer to resolve problems with their blaster or is it because they genuinely find the representative’s hunting repulsive? Do they feel any sympathy for the Evocii or is it merely business?

Gina’s situation asks how does the PC - a non-Force user - view the status quo of the Sith? Does a Bounty Hunter focus on the job they were assigned at any cost, or do they have lines they won’t cross because the son is present when you confront the father? Do they care about how things are run in the Empire? How does an agent view the relationship between Imperial military or citizenry and Sith? Do they run into a similar moral debate between duty to the Empire and personal values?

Adding in consideration for their choices in their class story, I’ve just found myself fascinated that Hutta has given me, usually, a pretty clear picture of my character’s motivations with just this little sliver of missions. They can, in theory, establish a whole boatload of information about the character’s thoughts and relationship with the Empire or even just backstory, if their choices may be motivated by their previous history.

For example, with Tyr (I am snapping him like a glowstick, after all, you knew this was coming), when I first played him I made these decisions based on his personal values. I haven’t really returned to them until today I’m doing a second run through (for Galactic Seasons and ‘I miss him’ related reasons) and I realized I’ve since sort of tied them to his backstory and expanded on my understanding of his motivations. For him as an agent, its before he takes on the Cipher status, and it’s one of the few decisions I can count in memory that he made based on his own agency. Sure, his actions on Hutta probably help solidify his presence as the Red Blade, but Keeper’s not giving him an itemized list for how to think and behave - they need agents that can do that on their own in the field, first two minutes of the game. So these are his choices. He does not seek reckless cruelty as the Blade, and that’s all these people know him as, so his decisions suit his purposes both as a cover and also told me something about what he values. And I just thought that was really neat.

#and thanks for coming to my ted talk xD #swtor #hutta #ch: tyr #dot talk #idk man i just love thinking about the whys and that led me here

[desde-los-cielos]

Unfortunately I need my feelings validated and I saw a bunch of people talk about how they dropped variable barricade and now I feel comfortable about my dislike of it.

It has also strangely made me motivated to finish it?? Also this is a good lesson on actually reading descriptions of games and not just being "ooh a popular otome game is on sale, I must buy."

I GUESS I don't regret getting piofiore. Even though I hated everyone but Yang (unrepentant mafia head) and Henri (mourning over the loss of his sister at the hands of the mafia, and wanting vengeance). The other people that tried to make their piety and their mafia crimes coexist together annoyed me so much.

Maybe if they didn't blatantly contradict their supposed moral code at every corner??? Tying their efforts to keep the main character safe with the character's physical beauty??? Deciding to kill the main character on another route just because they interrupted your business meeting?? And making it seem like you had to to protect your reputation????

Anyway, even though they gave reasons like being in the mafia to protect their small town, it all seemed to be about making money by exploiting people. At least Yang was upfront about his love of violence and exploitation.

While I don't mind, and even enjoy darker themes, I prefer more solid bonds between the main character and love interests. A few bad ends involved the love interests doing horrible things to the main character. :/

I played both games though, so what does that say. It says that Yang and Henri were worth it!!! If the others were less hypocritical, but just as violent, I probably wouldn't dislike them so much.

Anyway I think this whole feeling validation ties into my fear of psychosis? Like psychosis never seems too far away from me. Like a neighbor a block or two away.

I haven't experienced psychosis though, so this might just be an irrational fear. And maybe this is more coming from my experience with derealization, which doesn't seem to be directly tied to psychosis/schizophrenia, but my mind inevitably goes there and I begin doubting my reality a little bit.

So when people experience the same thing completely differently from me, it scares me.

I was talking to my therapist about this, and just did a cursory google search which seems to show a significant portion of autistic people do experience psychosis. It was just a couple sentence summary. And there are a whole lot of factors that I'm sure I'm not aware of that went into the study. AND I know very little about this topic. So I won't dwell on it.

#oops I rambled too much so now my read more seems more detached from the main post oh well #video game things #only i get to decide when to play hard mode!!!! #oops i will never stop talking about my gripes with piofiore

[wucaro]

christian frameworks

I think I need to start being more honest - with friends, with people in church, with myself. Going back to a fairly evangelical church in DC after my brief united methodist stint in Chicago is a bit of a shock to the system. It’s a fairly left leaning congregation, but the core remains the same. Even though I don’t really believe any of this, I participate in discussions and pray as if I do - it’s like an old muscle to draw on even if I don’t lift anymore. This whole experience has recently given me some new thoughts to reflect on about church culture. First, that the evangelical Christian experience likes to reduce all of our complex human experiences into simple, digestible frameworks or soundbites.

1. God has a plan. He’s in control and you need to learn to trust him more. This suffering and trial will bring you closer to God and the path He intends for you. 2. Our self worth comes from God’s love and our sins come from not believing this enough.

There are a lot more but I’m going to focus on these two first. It’s not that I don’t believe there is value in these frameworks but I think these frameworks became “God” to us and there wasn’t much room for nuance. Looking back on my college church experience, a lot of it was trying to squeeze my experiences, emotions, and desires into these small, simplified sentences. It may have been just my own experiences but the culture was all about creating narratives for your life and understanding it through a “biblical lens”. Nuance is difficult in any mass setting so these biblical lenses often became very reductive frameworks. For example, I directly tied the reason for my sexual assault with my need for male validation which was because I didn’t believe God loved me enough and I didn’t put my self worth in God. Are parts of that true? Yes, but the encouragement of mentors around me to pursue this conclusion left out a much larger picture: the very normal desire for physical intimacy, the lack of education around consent and boundaries, and the suppression of my feelings for someone because they didn’t fit into the ideal picture of a Christian partner. (Note: none of this justifies the assault itself which is solely the fault of the person, it is simply an investigation into the larger ecosystem that enabled it to take place.)

Being Christian often felt like going through life with your mind already made up and a preset list of questions to ask when making my judgements. Yes, I wanted to be open minded but only to a degree. I always believed I had a foundation to stick to but that foundation was more like a great wall. Seeing other people’s experiences and beliefs through the lens of what is biblically true or not also reduces their experiences. We start putting value judgements and motivations on their decisions. They made x mistake? It’s because they don’t know Jesus loves them. They did y? They just need God. It’s not only arrogant, it takes away the complexity of the human experience.

I think in the face of life, these reductive frameworks start to fall apart. There are no simple answers or easy solutions. Trusting God more doesn’t fix every problem. I do believe Christian thought/biblical study has a depth and wealth of wisdom to draw from - I’ve just found that church culture often relies on frameworks of thinking that aren’t as biblical as they claim to be.

[gamebunny-advance]

Confession + Self Reflection

I think I’ve gotten too caught up in trying to draw the things I *think* y’all want to see, instead of the stuff I actually want to draw. I dunno if that’s why I lost my motivation before, but I can definitely see that being a factor in my burn-out.

And ya know, I feel like I go through this cycle every time I get into a new fandom: I do one thing that suddenly gets a lot of traction and inflates my ego, I start trying to capitalize on it, then I think of one huge story that I want to tell because now I start thinking about that thing all the time and start theory crafting about it, but then I get so overwhelmed with the one big idea that I start chasing after small ones to fill the void that are less emotionally satisfying to follow through on, so I stop loving the thing and burn out until I find something new to latch onto and start the process again.

It happened with Animal Crossing, it happened with the Problem Solverz, it happened with Smash, and now it’s happening with NSR.

Like, great, I’ve identified the problem, but I don’t know what to do about it. Because I started focusing on trying to be a crowd pleaser, and although I *want* to work on the big passion projects, they’re just so daunting that I can’t the motivation to continue anything I’ve started. I’ve lost sight of what made me happy about the thing to begin with.

I think the solution is to just force myself to work on the passion projects in spite of my fear of actually working on them. Those passion projects do make me happy without the need for outside validation because I find catharsis in them, but my lack of skill and confidence are holding me back. Somehow, I’ve got to get rid of those feelings and just go for it. Even if I dread working on it in the present, I think the finished product should justify the effort. I’m gonna try to keep telling myself that, and hopefully I’ll finally get somewhere.

#text #like i hate blaming my condition #because i feel like i should be stronger than it #but the depression does keep me from actually finding joy in the things i do #drawing for the sake of drawing doesn't make me happy #whether i like it or not #my motivation is directly tied to validation #but i want to write these stories #even if y'all won't like them #i want to write about green finding the strength to love himself in spite of abuse #i want to write about kliff learning to put the needs of others before his own #i want to write about rob coping with his survivor's guilt and finding happiness with his friends #i want to write about gw realizing that he has value as a person beyond what he can do for others #when i think about it #a lot of the stories i want to write #in spite of the sad parts that i don't want to put out #eventually circle into themes about learning to love yourself despite your struggles #maybe if i learn to love myself too #i'll be able to finally do these things #sorry to get so sappy #it sounds really lame to say it like that #but i honestly think that my self loathing is the root of my problem #i want to get better at it

[linkspooky]

Goggol and Dostoevsky: Joker’s Wild 

The clown and the rat are set up as yet another Yin / Yang or Double Black pairing in Bungou Stray Dogs. Continuing from my previous post on Jouno and Tecchou, the main conflict between these two characters is a conflict between ideals and bonds. More underneath the cut. 

1. Power of Friendship

Goggol is an interesting twist on the ouble black pairing because he’s introduced to us and the only characterization he’s given is how he would live and die for the sake of his ideals of freedom, however his actions contradict that heavily. When a character’s stated motivation, what they want, contradicts what they clearly need as a person in order to grow this is considered a classic want vs need conflict. 

In the same scene where he states that he wants to kill himself to demonstrate his absolute freedom over morality and any other constriction, he also states that  part of that statement was a lie, and the only one who would ever be able to understand is Dos-kun. This sets up a conflict, one you are not supposed to take Goggol one hundred percent on his words for his stated motivations, because Goggol himself doesn’t quite seem to know. That’s why he frames the conversation as a quiz show, he’s seeking an answer to his question. The second is that goggol’s two primary motivators are in conflict with each other. 

Goggol wants to release himself from the constraints of being human in every way possible, the brain is a cage, bonds with other people are ties that restrain him, and therefore the only way he can choose that is a perfect suicide he chooses himself.

However, Goggol also wants someone to understand his philosophy and the reason why he wants to die, and that same craving for attachment understanding is something that humanizes him and works the opposite of Goggol’s goal. 

Goggol cannot have one, because the two ideas directly contradict the other. He cannot die alone if he has friends. If he has friends he will no longer wish to die. That’s simplifying it but stil, Goggol probably embodies the conflict between living for the sake of bonds and living for the sake of ideals more than any character in the manga, especially since his reasoning is so esoteric and purely ideals.

However, I would argue that Goggol himself falls on the side of valuing his connection with Dostoevsky more than his desire to be free. For the simple reason that Goggol could have had his perfect suicide, and he chose not to die. 

Not because he was afraid to die (though he was afraid to die) but the moment before his death he remembered Dos-kun, and found another reason to live. 

Once again, Goggol’s motivations are esoteric so it’s not quite that simple, but basically Goggol is always trying to work out some kind of paradox in his head. First his conflict was wanting to be understood vs. wanting to die alone. When Goggol realized that someone did understand him, his goals shiftded from wanting to be with the person who understood vs. wanting to kill Fyodor to achieve the aloneness he views as absolute freedom. 

However, the fact that Goggol didn’t die, and conjured another moment to live at the last moment means his arc isn’t a suicide arc. He is probably not going to die. Which means that for Goggol while he utlimately not realize it himself, his need to connect to others and be understood by them is far more powerful than his urge to die for his ideals. 

There are lots of yin/yang pairs but I’m going to compare them to Atsushi and Akutagawa primarily because they are the most developed of the pairs. Atsushi is an idealist, he will sacrifice his life to protect complete strangers and that’s how he receives validation. Akutagawa focuses far more on people and the bonds between them, Akutagawa’s entire motivation revolves around wanting to receive validation from Dazai a person he has history with. In the Beast AU his character entirely revolves around rescuing his sister. All of Akutagawa’s positive character development comes from learning to treat his subordinates underneath him better. Atsushi may be better at playing the hero, but Akutagawa is ultiamtely more of a people person. 

Nikolai is obsessed with his ideals, but ultimately the conflict in his character lies in the people around him. When he designs a death game to determine if he should kill Dostoevsky or not, Dazai even comments that Nikolai is a good friend. In layman’s terms he’s basically designed a BFFS test for Dostoevsky. He wants to prove that his friendship is real, in his own unique clown way. 

2. Power of Ideals 

Fyodor is a much more clear cut parallel with Atsushi because he’s Dazai alligned. I am going to make a statement that sounds 100% insane at first, but please give me a chance to explain. Fyodor’s ideals just like Atsushi’s are entirely built around saving others. 

Not everything about Fyodor’s character has been revealed yet, he’s not Goggol he won’t just tell you about his ideals, but I believe bestowing sin’s is god’s work does such a good job introducing his character that we don’t necessarily need a backstory or a clearly stated motivation to elucidate on who he is. 

First Dostoevsky’s central character trait is he’s an absolutist. He never compromises on his ideals even a little bit, it’s desmontrated not once, but twice in his willingness to murder a child to accomplish his goals. 

This is a bit of foiling with Goggol. They both have twisted ideals but their characters work best, if you read them as one hundred percent committed to those ideals. The child’s thoughts as he dies are who is it that evil can save? 

Dos believes that his absolutely evil and detestable actions are ones that will build a better world, by cleansing it in sin. However, in order to accomplish his cleansing he can’t act like a man with morals. He has to be amoral. He has to sep completely above everyone else’s morality and create his own, he has to become his own god. 

Atsushi, Dazai and Dostoevsky all have characters that revolve around saving complete strangers. Atsushi wants to sacrifice his life to save strangers to demonstrate his life has worth. Dazai will manipulate and use his own friends over and over again, and his motivations aren’t completely altruistic he just wants to find a motivation. He can even be selfish in regards to those he saves, he picks favorites between Atsushi and Akutagawa, even though Dazai stated a good man like Oda would have saved Akutagawa. 

Dostoevsky is an extreme version of the flaws of both those characters. Dostoevsky in order to accomplish his goals is order to disregard the feelings of not only complete strangers, but also his own allies, everyone is subject to becoming a pawn for him so he can assert his own individual will over reality. A god has no need of friends, etc. etc. I dont think Dostoevsky is devoid of friendship and sympathy for other people, he just ignores those things because ideals are more important to him, that’s why we see such a big contradiction in some of his actions.

Dostoevsky says good fortune for this world, a blessing for children, at the same time as he’s shown to be instructing a child to kill themselves for the sole purpose of destroying Kunikida’s ideals and accomplishing his plan to cripple both the ADA and the Mafia. If he’s being sincere here, then his character revolves around the same contradiction as Goggol his ultimate foil. He kills children to save children. He uses abilities to change the world to... rid it of ability users. 

Fyodor believes that the only thing that’s able to fight evil is worse evil. 

Dostoevsky is also working with the leader of the Hound Dogs, Kamui. Who shares a similiar motivation. Kamui has done such evil in the name of protecting order, torturing, and killing innocent people making war to make peace. That he now believes the only way for him to stop the evils of war is to seize ultimate power for himself. To keep the tyranny of the world in place, but to place himself as the leader. Replace rid the world of War to Rid the world of Ability Users and you get the same kind of absolutist ideals as Dostoevsky. 

Both of their characters revolve around the absolute evils that they’re willing to commit in order to achieve those ideals, they frame innocent people, dostoevsky lobotomizes people, mind controls people, kills children, and Kamui has done all the same and only seeks to stop it now. 

However, just like Goggol’s actions contradict his ideals, he says he wants to die alone but he keeps reaching out to Dos. Dos’s methods are in complete contradiction to his motivations. His: do evil to do good philosophy in practice show his actions fall short of his high minded ideals. Especially when in order to accomplish his ideals he manipulates complete innocents like Sigma. 

Dostoevsky’s plans often fail because his ideals are too high minded to be compatible with what is a messy, complicated and confusing reality. His dreams for utopia work against the nature of the very humans he wants to save. Dazai points this out to us. Dostoevsky’s massive blindspot when it comes to the worth of individual human life, which are often the monkey wrench thrown in mot of his plans. 

Dostoevsky like to pretend they’re the most important because they’re chess players who can control the moves on the board, but the actual important people are the pieces on the gameboard because they’re actually out there in the world struggling. 

Which will ultimately be the greatest conflict in Dostoesvky’s arc as well. Will he be a person in this world? Because as ruthless as Dostoesvky is he still has ties to the world, he has both Sigma and Goggol. How the conflict with them resolves will most likely determine Dotsoevsky’s fate. God or Man? We have yet to see. 

#bsd #bsd 100 #bsd 101 #bungou stray dogs #bsd meta #bungou stray dogs meta #bungou stray dogs theory #bsd spoilers #dazai osamu #fyodor dostoevsky #nikolai gogol

[hamliet]

Dabi’s Missing Heart

So I’ve been seeing two main responses to Dabi’s character as portrayed in BNHA 292, both of which I feel touch on a very surface understanding of his character and role in the story despite seeming like opposite takes.  

Take #1: 

Dabi is an unfeeling monster created to show the redeemability of Shigaraki and Enji in contrast with his true eeeevil villainy! He will never be redeemed! 

Take #2: 

Dabi is a sweet softy who did nothing wrong! He will never be redeemed because of this chapter which is so out-of-character! 

Note how they both have the same endpoint. I’m not actually gonna address the redemption question much because I can’t fathom what this panel foreshadows if not Touya’s salvation (alive): 

I’m not looking to debate this either; I’m just putting it here because I know it’ll come up if I don’t.

Instead, I wanna address Dabi’s character. He’s my favorite, and I’ve been asked a few different times whether I enjoy him as a villain or as an uwu poor baby, and my answer is always both. 

Dabi is a villain. This chapter’s rampage is, in my opinion, not remotely out of character for him. But neither is it the summation of his character, and he surely is not meant to make Enji look good by comparison. 

So, who is Dabi? 

Dabi is kind of a flaming jerk, and that’s why I like him. He’s an abuse victim who gets to be angry and crass and sharp. He pushes people away because he doesn’t want to open up to them and get burned (heh). He’s just like Shouto in that, except with a dose of murder. 

Believe it or not, this is a very realistic response to abuse, and very common too. It’s good to see that representation. If the writing was indeed just “he’s bad get rid of him,” well, that would of course be a terrible representation. But seeing a mean victim get redeemed? Now that’s some good sh*t I’m here for. 

If you want a sweethearted, misunderstood soft victim, there is one in MHA, and that’s Shigaraki. Dabi is not these things, but that does not mean he’s not a victim or that he’s somehow an unfeeling monster.

You see, Shigaraki is a heart character. Dabi’s the mind. (Heart and mind characters are a literary pattern that is utilized in literature across the globe; it’s not an eastern/western cultural thing. It has its roots in alchemy.) The problem is that you can’t have a heart without a mind nor a mind without a heart. If you lack one, you’re missing half the picture, and you won’t accomplish anything. 

We see this with Shigaraki in his quest to look for ideals, something to believe in, purpose to justify/enable acting on his feelings/emotions. 

Dabi, in contrast, has conviction and ideals, but eschews any kind of personal connection and care. 

So, both Shigaraki and Dabi struggle to unite heart and mind--but they need to do precisely this. 

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki expressly envisions both Dabi and Himiko when musing on what his purpose is. 

Yet Shigaraki is able to unite more easily with Himiko as opposed to Dabi because Himiko is also a heart character. She claims to be motivated by extreme empathy that warps around to become a lack thereof (wanting to be who she loves).

Shigaraki’s motivations are basically revenge for hero society not saving him--which encompasses both a deep internal and external (societal) need for empathy and a need for better ideals. Shigaraki needs Himiko and Dabi. They’re a trio, and all of them need each other to grow. But Himiko, being similarly driven expressly by emotions, is easier for Shigaraki to understand and work with. 

The irony is that Dabi is actually a very, very emotional character as well. But what he does (as is typical for a mind character) is repress them, compartmentalize, dissociate. He constantly pushes people away, yet admits privately, to himself, that he’s primarily (and paradoxically) motivated by family. This is emotional, yet Dabi claims he “overthought” and, according to other translations, “snapped” can be actually be read as “went crazy” as a result over overthinking (note: both are mind allusions). 

Dabi repressing who he is--Todoroki Touya--is symbolic of him repressing his emotional side, because again, family and emotions are tied together for his character. Now his identity is acknowledged, and Dabi claims to be losing his mind (again), claims that he can’t feel, and yet is completely consumed by emotions. Like, does anyone think he’s being methodical and calculating this chapter? 

It’s not just negative emotions (rage, hate) that drive Dabi in response to his family. His seeking belonging and emotional connection is present even in a chapter where he tries to murder two members of his family and laughs off the risk to the life of another. 

See, Dabi first asked Shouto to validate his pain:

But like, given the circumstances, of course Shouto doesn’t really respond well. How Shouto responds is this: 

Shouto’s words are triggering. And keep in mind I am not blaming Shouto: he’s in shock and he’s a kid. I’m merely trying to explain how it likely comes across to Dabi. 

You’re crazy. Your feelings don’t matter. You don’t really care about Natsuo! You’re a villain and that’s ALL you are. Not a brother or abuse survivor. Just a villain. 

So, uh, yeah, Dabi then retreats back to being unable to feel, dissociating as has always been his coping mechanism. But that’s not all: Dabi’s been repressing for so long that of course he’s gonna go a little insane in response to the dismissal of everything he’s trying to point out. Why wouldn’t he? His family dismissed his pain back then and now again, and so, without that heart, without those emotions, principle is all Dabi has. This has been present since long before Stain’s ideology came into his life: 

Now, he answers this question of existence through Stain’s ideology.  Purpose is all he has, and to him, Shouto and Best Jeanist are dismissing that too. Why are they dismissing it? Best Jeanist dismisses him for an ideal: the overall good of hero society. Shouto has a mixture of this ideal and also like, genuine shock and pain. 

Back to Dabi. Dabi’s summation of himself and his purpose is incorrect and harmful to himself and others. I’m not excusing him or justifying, just explaining. It’s a tragic reflection of what Endeavor raised both Touya and Shouto to be (and thereby ironic that BJ uses an ideal to dismiss him): 

Instead of being raised to be the symbol of hero society--as Endeavor intended--he exists to destroy it. The root is the same: Dabi assumes he exists for hero society, as a tool. He dehumanizes himself, hence why his quirk physically harms him (which also fits his almost religious zeal for Stain’s ideology). But it is not all Dabi is. He’s not a tool, he’s a person, but to acknowledge he’s a person involves acknowledging his heart/emotional desires, and that gets to my next point.

Dabi’s not a reliable narrator about himself. At all. I’ve written about Dabi and dissociation before. So let’s look at Dabi’s devotion to his ideals, the ideals he puts above people and claims he only cares about... because there are moments where Dabi goes against those ideals. 

For one example, Dabi’s gone against those ideals when he’s allowed his personal need for revenge (an emotional/heart motivation) to overcome his longterm plan. Like, he was fully about to get himself killed here, even though that would likely mean no one would know the corruption of the Todoroki family and hero society, just for the chance to prove to his father that he hurt him. 

In addition, I’ve talked before about how Dabi’s the only character in the entire damn manga to comment that maybe using child soldiers is not okay. While it’s not explicitly stated, it’s reasonable to conclude that Dabi considers the abuse of children in hero training a sin of hero society that ought to be purged (hence, part of his ideals). 

That said, I have also pointed out that Dabi has gone after children in the past when it benefits his mission (Bakugou would like a word). So let’s look at four examples of Dabi and his principles concerning kids--since, after all, he claims to be motivated by heroes who hurt kids. 

Firstly, Dabi’s “save the cat” when he spared Aoyama. 

Why did he spare Aoyama? We can only speculate, but it seems quite likely there are two reasons: 1) hurting Aoyama would not add anything to his overall goal of downing hero society, and 2) a terrified, cowering kid might just have been a teeny bit familiar to Dabi. Here, his ideals--destroying hero society--either take a backseat to a reflection of his personal pain (and)/or his ideal of not abusing kids directly contradicted his ideal of bringing down hero society. But the important part is that in this instance, Dabi chose mercy and the goal of bringing down hero society was jeopardized as a result. 

So then why did he attack Tokoyami, Nejire, and Shouto this arc? Well, Dabi does things he knows are wrong for the sake of accomplishing his overall purpose. He does things he knows hurt himself for this purpose. This isn’t new. If he can’t be acknowledged, can’t exist as a person with emotions, then he at least will ensure he still has a purpose.  

In addition, let’s look at what sets Dabi off in all of these instances. (Again, this isn’t me saying “well actually Dabi’s justified.” He’s not. I’m just pointing to what’s in the text to explain the machinations beyond “bad guy do bad.”)

Dabi tries to reason with Tokoyami, pointing out that Twice was doing essentially what Tokoyami is doing: trying to save his friend(s), but Tokoyami doesn’t listen (also again: not me saying Tokoyami should have listened--realistically, in this situation, it makes sense Tokoyami trusted his mentor!)

Only after his reasoning was rejected did Dabi go to flames mode. He could have just let Tokoyami save Hawks, but instead he really wanted to kill Hawks and that overrode his other principles. Was this just because of his furthering his goal--killing the #2 hero would help destroy hero society--or because of a sense of personal revenge for Twice? That’s open for interpretation (in my opinion, it’s likely a mixture, because again, it tends to intertwine more than Dabi likes to think it does). His principles and/or emotions are brushed aside, and Dabi Does Not Like That. 

Dabi does this again with Shouto this chapter, asking him where he stands on their family issues, and gets brushed aside, and then Shouto goes into his rage mode and Dabi responds. Again, not saying Shouto is rational here or that he should side with Dabi’s murderous plan, but like, his words really don’t come across well to Dabi. 

Dabi going after Shouto after explaining things, asking Shouto for help, and then having his pain dismissed is pretty much a repeat of Tokoyami. When Dabi’s pain is dismissed, he says fine, let’s aim for the highest principle possible: making Stain’s will a reality, and damn any emotional ties. 

Dabi’s obsession with ideals, you might say, is a smokescreen to cover his own pain. Far from feeling nothing, he feels very deeply. (I promise I’m getting to Nejire.) 

So what does this indicate? Well, that Dabi does have a heart and a conscience. But when he lets his heart act, when his heart reaches out, he gets burned. His heart jeopardizes his overall purpose, so he most often dissociates himself from it. But by pretending he doesn’t have a heart, he dehumanizes himself, and he projects that dehumanization onto others (see: seeing Shouto as an extension of Endeavor, when that’s actually the precise image Shouto is trying to shed). 

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki has been unconscious during the entire confrontation with Endeavor, nor is it a coincidence that Himiko has been MIA. But, Shigaraki wakes up a bit this chapter not only when hearing Dabi spout about how hero society needs to burn, an ideal/the thing Shigaraki lacks, and through a less important but still-ideal-driven character in Spinner asking him to accomplish his supposed ideal of destruction, but when Dabi saves Shigaraki and Spinner. 

Dabi doesn’t burn Nejire for lols (not that this makes it better because it doesn’t) or even for ideals. He burns her to save Shigaraki and Spinner, because they are his links to full humanity right now. 

(Again, this is also dissociation and projection: Endeavor did this! No, Dabi, you did. You’re perpetuating violence against kids rather than stopping it.)

But anyways, when Dabi calls upon heart, Shigaraki wakes. He lends Gigantomachia and thereby Dabi and the league power. 

Dabi can only grow and actually accomplish anything related to his ideals (fixing hero society) through accepting a heart--even though that will likely mean some painful surgery to shift his ideals to accommodate said heart, because pure ideals don’t leave much room for humanity. He needs to feel to actually change anything, because right now he’s just making things worse (hence, the need for saving and redemption).

I know the League aren’t the protagonists of the serIes, but their complaints aren’t exactly incorrect either (if anything they’re almost a little too valid). But through growing together, Dabi, Shigaraki, and Himiko might actually be able to accomplish something, and get themselves in a place where they can be reached and saved by Shouto, Deku, and Ochaco. Because to be saved, the kids will have to acknowledge the villains’ pain and complaints, and do something about it. 

#bnha 292 #bnha meta #mha 292 #mha meta #dabi #todoroki shouto #todoroki touya #todoroki enji #hado nejire #toga himiko #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #best jeanist #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha theory #mha theory #league of villains #spinner

[holden-norgorov]

I was wrong: an apology for Show!Kaz.

Listen, at first I didn't even want to write this post down, but as I noticed that a considerable amount of people have been showing disappointment toward Kaz not being "smart enough" in comparison to the book, I feel the need to point some things out with the hope of making you re-evaluate your line of thinking.

The thing is, Kaz Brekker in the show is a character that very much grows to book-readers with a needed careful and attentive rewatch.

I binged the whole season in a consecutive-7h-long binge-watching session during April 23rd, and came out of it feeling mildly disappointed with the way Kaz had been written (but not portrayed; Freddy was truly amazing). The one aspect that really bugged me at first was that his typical modus operandi when it came to plotting and scheming (by which I mean, keeping the big picture of his plans to himself and revealing just tiny pieces to everyone else according to each one's strengths and weaknesses, so as to make sure to reach the maximum potential of success while risking failure as little as possible) seemed to be kinda absent. I could easily make peace with Kaz not being as ruthless as he is in SoC, because the writers couldn't possibly make only-viewers willing to root for someone like Kaz without presenting at least some way in which he was vulnerable compared to other villainous characters. And to be honest, the fact that Kaz was ambushed by Pekka and forced to his knees not only nicely ties up with him wishing for Pekka to kneel in front of him at the beginning of SoC, but it also provides a reason as to why he would become closed-off and hesitant to apologize to Inej in the future. He was so concerned and willing to openly apologize to Inej in this scene that he lowered his guard enough without thinking and ended up giving Pekka access to Inej's name and revealing to him his own soft spot for her, before being beaten up.

That said, this was not my issue with the character. My issue was with the absence of his modus operandi as a masterful planner. I just didn't feel it during the binge-watch. But then I carefully rewatched the show, paying close attention to the actual succession of events more than to how accurate the characterization of the Crows was compared to the books. And I completely changed my mind.

If you pay attention, you can see that Kaz has been manipulating Arken from the very beginning, and everything Arken has accomplished was made possible because Kaz wanted it to happen, so that Arken would believe to be one step ahead of him and not see his betrayal coming. He quickly realizes that he and Arken think alike, and that he has to find a way to outsmart him.

As soon as the Conductor appears in the show, Kaz points out that he reached out to him not only because he can make them cross the Fold, but also because he smuggles Grisha who are unwilling to fight out of the Little Palace. He immediately grasps that the Conductor actively profits from the existence of the Fold and therefore that his own transport has to be constantly operative and effective. Which makes him realize that there has to be a political interest in his smuggling business for it to be allowed to flourish and survive undisturbed, and that someone has to financially back him up and subsidize the mantainance of the train and the feasibility of the crossing.

Soon after the Crows discovered that Nina had been captured and could no longer guide them to the Little Palace, Arken tries to sabotage their mission by convincing them to abandon it. This is where Kaz understands that he is actively interested in their kidnapping of the Sun Summoner to not happen, and begins suspecting he might have a separate agenda.

He purposefully risks the whole mission on Jesper not gambling everything away while looking for alabaster coal by deciding to grab the goat by himself, which is a less time-consuming task. This grants him the opportunity to attend to a quick rally for West Ravka's independence led by General Zlatan, where he sees Arken retiring with him in a private tent. His suspects about Arken are validated, and he understands that Arken has been smuggling Grisha out of East Ravka to the West with the support of Zlatan, who is also making some kind of alliance with Fjerdians and keeping a blind-eye to druskelle hunting and capturing Grisha (as we find out later on).

While they are crossing the Fold, Kaz is visibly skeptical of Arken's story about the transport being conveniently effective because of his knowledge of engineering and physics, and a chunk of luck. Arken seems to know too well how to safely cross the Fold, and the trasport seems to have worked far too many times for it to be the product of the underground, illegal practice of just one man.

In East Ravka, Kaz comes up with the Royal Archive Heist with the hope of stealing the Little Palace blueprints from the Palace of Kribirsk. But there's a very short scene here, which apparently seems unimportant but is actually pivotal: Kaz gives Arken money to make friends with East Ravkans so as to grant them a safe passage to Os Alta. Keep in mind: at this point Kaz is sure that Arken has been given by Zlatan a personal agenda to carry out regarding the Sun Summoner (I genuinely believe he also grasps that the secret plan is to kill her, so as to prevent the Fold from being destroyed and their smuggling business from being no longer profitable), so he knows Arken has total interest in making sure that they actually have a ride to the Little Palace. Which means, by urging him to "make some friends", Kaz already knows Arken will come up with a plan to be able to arrive to Os Alta and carry out his own mission at any costs, if the blueprints of the Little Palace that they are planning to steal end up being useless. And not only that: he wants Arken to believe he is being one-step ahead of them by "saving their asses" with this back-up plan, so as to easily come to the conclusion that the Crows have no reason to distrust him (how could they, when he finds them a second way-in?) and completely disregard the idea that Kaz might stab him in the back before he does the same thing to them. This is some mastermind thinking and completely IC for Kaz, because all the inner workings of his schemes go completely unnoticed on the outside.

Now that Arken proudly looks like the one who managed to grant them passage to Os Alta, he has no reason to believe Kaz might have ulterior motives when he decides to be the one carrying out a preliminary exploration of the Little Palance's hallways, despite his wounded leg making it difficult for him. But here's when Kaz sees Marie and immediately understands that she's supposed to be a decoy for Alina. So he coldly plans the whole kidnapping operation so as to make sure Arken ends up trying to kill (or directly killing) Marie. Which is why he shows no surprise when Arken reveals he can actually open the Fabrikator-made door with a device he carries with himself (probably provided by Zlatan to be able to get access to Alina's private rooms, or maybe already in his possession from when he had smuggled other Grisha out previously), and shows no hesitation when saying outwardly to everyone that Arken will be the one actually carrying out the kindnapping just because "he knows his way around Grisha locks". I actually believe Inej senses that there's something going on that she doesn't fully know when Kaz so light-heartedly allows Arken to lay his hands on their 1 Mln Kruge prize, but her suspicions (likely born out because she knows Kaz too well) are quickly put to rest and given an explaination only after Arken effectively falls into his trap.

After Alina escapes from the Crows in the following episode, we are led to believe that Kaz abandons the idea of kidnapping her again because of Inej, and this turns out to be actually true (despite Inej herself being incredibly suspicious of this, because of how unseemly it would be). Inej also believes Kaz to be so calculating that she points out that he might have planned to let Alina go in the first place and to detonate Arken's transport so as to travel with the same sandskiff Alina is embarking on and kindap her there. Inej would not have such a suspicion if Kaz's reputation didn't live up to that modus operandi.

While we actually learn that Kaz was being genuine with Inej about having abandoned the idea of kidnapping Alina, we also quickly learn that Kaz has spent the last two episodes silently coming up with a whole new other plan to make sure they can go back to Ketterdam without being killed by Dreesen and Pekka Rollins.

Now, as you can see, this is actually a lot. And this whole progression of events is handled so smoothly by the writing that it's fully admirable only by rewatching the show and paying close attention to Kaz's actions, while also knowing how his mind works. All of this is internal workings, which is typical Kaz.

So, I was wrong. His modus operandi is very much present. It's just barely detectable, as it should be for it to be believable. I hope this might reassure some deluded fans who came out of their watching session feeling let down by Kaz not looking "smart enough". It's all there! And the fact that so many of us couldn't see it at first hand, if you think about it, is just further proof that Kaz's intelligence and ability to scheme were handled extremely well. They couldn't make his mental workings too obvious to the casual viewers, or the character would have lost what actually makes him brilliant, which is the ability to outsmart others without being detected, exposed or anticipated.

#kaz brekker #freddy carter #show!kaz #six of crows #crooked kingdom #soc #ck #sab spoilers #shadow and bone spoilers #a defense of how kaz was written #i hope this helps someone ?? #arken #the conductor #inej ghafa #the crows

[guardianspirits13]

I wanna talk about Natsuo Todoroki for a second here.

tw// mentions of abuse, self harm, and suicide

Natsuo visibly has the most emotional trauma out of anyone else in his family (Touya not included), and I really wanna talk about why that is.

For starters, we haven't seen him really smile since he was introduced in chapter 187. He's introduced as having a friendly, easygoing persona and it's easy to imagine this is how most people outside of his family know him. However, every time we see him appear since then, another layer of his trauma is revealed and expanded upon, and it cuts DEEP.

I think the main reason that Natsuo still seems so vulnerable compared to the rest of his family is different than what you'd assume. Fuyumi and Shouto both spend a lot of time around Endeavor, and have been in close proximity to his (relatively recent) decision to atone. They have seen his growth firsthand and come to terms with it. Rei has obviously taken a very different path to healing- not entirely voluntarily- but she has been working with doctors and therapists for years to change and recover and reconnect with herself and her children. Natsuo is off at college, and takes every opportunity he can to avoid Endeavor. He (understandably) wants nothing to do with him, and shows stagnant resistance to his attempts to atone.

The reason why Natsuo can't move on from the past is because his trauma didn't come from Endeavor. It came from Touya.

Now initially we were led to believe that it was simply Touya's untimely death that still bothers Natsuo, and it makes sense seeing how Endeavor drove him to the edge. Losing his best friend and brother as a young kid without parents to support him or any therapist to speak of can absolutely been the source of persistent emotional damage, but the more and more we learn about Touya's situation, the more evident it becomes that Natsuo's trauma is much much deeper than even grief.

Touya, as we know, was driven by an ambition instilled in him by his father and experienced extreme rejection sensitivity when those ambitions were no longer realistic. Touya's relationship with his parents could be described as insecure attachment, a psychological term primarily regarding how kids react and respond to their parents and other close relationships. As he was raised, Touya learned to equate his potential to be a hero with his personal worth and similarly confounded attention with love. The difference being, of course, that love is unconditional, but even attention was being continually directed away from him as a punishment for continuing to train and burn himself so he could once again become worthy in his fathers' eyes.

This is where Natsuo comes in. At first it was assumed that all of the Todoroki children were born out of Endeavor's strong-willed desire to have a child that could surpass All Might, but we learned that this isn't exactly the case. I'd argue that it was narratively poetic on Horikoshi's part once this was expanded upon. Fuyumi was born to support and encourage her brother, and that is the exact role she plays 23 years later, keeping her family together.

Natsuo's case is even more intersting.

It was bad enough if Natsuo was only born for the potential of his quirk, but it's even more sinister that the sole intent behind his birth was to discourage Touya from his ambitions. I'd say it was to replace him, but it was more to promote the idea that Touya was expendable than to raise aonther kid with the same ideals but the potential to actually achieve it, although that was definitely a secondary motivation.

The parallelism in this is how much Natsuo's life revolves around Touya. He was born because of Touya, he looked up to and took care of Touya as a kid, and the absence of Touya in the present continues to drive him and his decisions in life (but more on that later).

I continue to pray that we will eventually get more solid backstory on Natsuo and Touya's relationship as kids and where it cut off, wether on a bad note or not, but there are a few things we know for certain. One, Touya was mentally ill. Yes, he was rejected by his parents but he seems to have been particularly vulnerable to this compared to any of his siblings since he was the first of them and thus relied only on his parents for validation in his early years. He shows early signs of a variety of different mental disorders, particularly BPD, which I have previously written a whole analysis for on its own. Touya is shown self-harming both by the very nature of his quirk and even by very directly ripping his hair out. He was incredibly self-destructive.

This is why it is so much more concerning to me that Natsuo, who was AT LEAST four years younger than him, was his primary source of comfort. Natsuo was too young to have known anything more than 'my big brother is sad that daddy won't train him anymore' and he obviously wasn't equipped in any way to handle Touya's severe mental illness. Touya most definitely needed professional treaatment as his forms of coping were abnormal even for the neglect and rejection that he experienced. Natsuo comforted Touya through breakdown after breakdown, and more than that Touya relied on him and came to him voluntarily for support. Natsuo was the best option he had, and he took full advantage of that. The main source of Natsuo's trauma was Touya's reliance on him.

Not to say at all that this was in any way Touya's fault- he was mentally ill and desperately in need of some form of comfort to keep him sane; it was almost a survival method at this point since neither of his parents really acknowleged him at all anymore. Touya's instability hurt Natsuo more than parental neglect ever did, but it was the neglect that enabled it and striped Touya of the supportive atmosphere he would have needed at this point not only to prevent but to heal from the mental damage he had already suffered.

Natsuo dealt with this for years and you can see how much it hurt him to see Touya in so much pain, not only from Endeavor's rejection but from his own self harm as well. For Natuso to know that his brotherly love would never be the same as having loving parents; would neve be enough- but at least it was something so he continued to love and care about his brother for little in return- is indicative of the kind of character he is.

(Edit: After the events of chapter 302 we know that Natsuo's relationship with Touya wasn't perfect. I will elaborate more on this in a different post, but I just wanted to clarify that although we were shown a very high-tension scene between them, it is implied that this was a regular occurrence that Natsuo was usually more receptive too but tired out of, in addition to Touya's spiraling mental health. It fit with the natrative to show the tension Touya was feeling with his family from all directions, but Natsu and Touya clearly had a stronger relationship up to and before this point, evidenced by their sharing a room and playing together regularly.)

He is incredibly selfless, and it's interesting to note how many of his positive qualities as an adult stem from negative experiences as a kid. He never really felt love from his parents, so he relied on Touya (and likely also Fuyumi) for that as well. If he grew up learning he had to give love in order to recieve it back, it absolutely influenced who he became in the future, a solid example of this being the responsibility he feels to reach out and have a relationship with Shouto and further regrets that he wasn't able to help his abuse in the past either. Another aspect of his character that intruigues me is how gentle he is. Personality-wise he seems about as opposite as he could be from the awkward, stoic, emotionally-stunted person that is Endeavor.

There are a couple of reasons for this, beyond what I've already discussed.

One, he had little to no contact with elements of toxic masculinity growing up, especially not from Endeavor.

Two, most of the influence he did have growing up was from Fuyumi, who is established to have endlessly cared for him since he was a literal baby.

Three, he grew up in a household where almost everyone around him was in much more literal, immediate pain than he was so he developed a very strong sense of empathy that might also have been tied to early survivor's guilt.

Now I have one important distinction to make, and that's the temptation to label him as a 'softboy' or something of the like after seeing him caring for his family and more pointedly, watching him break down in tears during chapter 252. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with men being soft or vulnerable (on the contrary it's actually so so important and relevant that Hori is writing characters like this in a mainstream shounen manga but that's an essay for another time), it is unfair to label him as such based on a moment when his trauma is being exposed.

Because his truama stems from such a young age, there is a blurry line between just being born with more emotional intelligence and the situation he was in fostering those traits. You know, the classic nature/nurture thing. My point being, it's important to tread carefully when discussing the nature of his personality to avoid invalidating his trauma; I have no doubt that he is very strong for having survived these things, and the moments we see of him onscreen are definitely among his most vulnerable.

Another thing that people less familiar with Natsuo's character might assume is that he is hot-headed and argumentative. I thought that at first too- after all, he doesn't seem to shy away from yelling at Endeavor when given the opportunity. However, this doesn't seem to be the case at all.

The first real scene we see him in with Endeavor, the man walks into the room and Natsuo decides he can't handle it and goes to leave. However, Endeavor happens to be blocking the doorway. Endeavor physically stops him and provokes him to his face, asking him to say whatever is on him mind. While Natsuo is notably not confrontational, Endeavor is. I think it's fair to say that he felt at least uneasy at this gesture. Natsuo is very honest with his feelings, and it's obvious that he's pissed at the audacity of Endeavor to be so oblivious to his own son. This is presumably one of the first real interactions they've ever really had, and at this point Natsuo has been dealing with trauma (caused by Endeavor!) on his own for years, and Endeavor seems completely oblivious to his pain and dismmisive to the rest of the family's as well.

Again during the internship arc Natsuo tries to get along with Endeavor and this time he actually gives it a fleeting chance. Tensions are high, however, and the conversation very quickly becomes uncomfortable, at which point he leaves. It is continually implied that Natsuo is uncomfortable being around Endeavor because his very presence brings up painful thoughts and memories of a time when sharing the same space as him was a warning to run and hide. This is later directly confirmed by Natsuo as he says that every time he looks at Endeavor's face he remembers Touya and the pain he was in.

I feel like an important side note is that we have never seen Natsuo outside the context of his family, which is understandable, as the role he plays in the story directly relates to them. However, if you take a look at Shouto, even though his experiences have shaped him to become who he is, he definitely acts differently when Endeavor's not in the vicinity.

Back to Touya's death, it would be very rare that someone would mourn a death for an entire decade without finding closure unless there are other factors preventing it, and uncomfortably this seems to be the same thing for both Natsuo and Endeavor: guilt.

This is getting incredibly long already, but it's important to note that Natsuo probably felt an incredible responsibility to take care of Touya and protect him because of his empathetic nature. His love was never going to be the same as having loving parents. His encouragement was never going to be the same as having support from Endeavor. Even further than then neglect and abandonement, it was not being able to save Touya that really made Natsuo feel worthless.

He seems to try and remedy this inability to save Touya and diminish his guilt by doing everything he can to be better. He reaches out to Shouto to be a better brother, he consistently pushes his limits to entertain Fuyumi's notion of a happy family, and he's working hard towards a degree rhat will allow him to help people like Touya (and Rei) because he failed to do so in the past.

His bio mildly implies that he didn't have much of a direction he was heading in after high school, but Fuyumi's encouragement led him to seek out his current college career. This goes back to Natsuo's 'purpose' in a sense revolving arount Touya, from his birth to his relationship with him to his death, after which he lost his direction. They were always rather inseperable, so naturally their seperation hit Natsuo hard. He lost his direction in life so when Fuyumi encouraged him to rediscover it, he thought of helping people, because that's ultimately what he was born to do.

Thank you so, so much for reading this if you made it to the end! I clearly have a lot of thoughts on this. Let me know what you think about it as well, and hopefully we'll get more info on this soon in the manga :)

#bnha 203 #bnha spoilers #long post #natsuo todoroki #todoroki natsuo #bnha meta #mymeta #todoroki touya

[thedeviljudges]

For today’s ‘i really, really love kang yohan’ post, we’re gonna be develing into a little bit of emotional intelligence and the fact that Yohan both possesses it while simultaneously doesn’t, lmao.

Yohan is portrayed as a hunter and a shark. He’s said this himself in his own words. He’s read up on dynamics of humans and instincts and basis himself off of a monster for a couple of different reasons, but the main one being the fact that people believed him to be as such instead of coming down to his level as a child to understand him.

This by far, means Yohan was emotionally neglected (physically too, but that’s, in some ways, addressed in my other meta post) by parental figures in his life except for the nanny, possibly, on occasion, and isaac - but even then, we know it must’ve only been to a certain extent. On top of that, yohan’s only true witness to emotions is through those people in the house, and needless to say, one of them was off the walls abusive.

It’s why we get scenes like the choking one because when Yohan is angry, guess how he’s learned to express that? It’s physical, but it ties in emotionally. Yohan lashes out the only way he knows how, but this is also an indicator that he’s lied about being a monster. Why? Because people with extreme reactions to emotionally charged questions (like your associate judge accusing you of killing your brother, for example) can often mean that it’s more than just a sensitive topic; it actually matters to that person. At this point, gaon does not know isaac’s story, but we later learn yohan’s version of the fire, and it’s slowly revealed through Elijah, specifically, just how much family is a tough topic for Yohan.

And fortunately, gaon sees right through yohan’s bullshit when he calls him out about how he should be a victim, not a monster. Which opens up the door to us understanding why Yohan does what he does and says what he says even more because it’s revealed through that conversation that these are specific words Yohan has heard before. So not only has he been emotionally stunted as a child by way of abuse, he’s had so many people in his life look at him as a callous monster. And when that happens, don’t you start to believe it? Don’t you lose a little bit of your humanity and become the very thing people say you are?

However, this is also yohan’s strength in the world he lives in, especially with the intent to seek revenge for Isaac. He can put his emotions aside and think clearly, even in situations that should rile him up. You can actually see him get… amused when someone tries to put him in a corner. Yohan doesn’t rely on emotions because it’s logic, rational and strategy that gets him every single checkmate. It’s what’s got him to the point he’s at now. It’s how he’s able to push gaon into seeing reason because if you look at things from the perspective of philosophy and science (by way of human nature), it becomes easier to see a path and a plan so very clearly to whatever outcome you’re wanting.

The issue that comes into play circles back around with family. Because Yohan did not grow up in a healthy environment, he doesn’t know what family actually means and what dynamic it should look like. The past several years he’s spent with Elijah, he’s lived it logically because it means keeping her safe without taking into consideration the fact that Elijah is not like himself and did not grow up in the same environment he did. Only, Yohan also has a habit of not telling anyone his plans, and that’s where the miscommunication starts. How is Elijah to know why Yohan keeps her away from the world? It’s revealed she’s been kidnapped twice, but does Elijah truly understand yohan’s perspective? No, she’s a teenager, and gaon was right about it not being fair to keep her locked away.

But I digress. Here you have a man with a plan with repressed emotions and then enter one kim gaon, and he’s asked for trouble. One of the reasons Yohan, I believe, has kept gaon around is because he defies the typical. He challenges Yohan, not in an act of dominance, but out of another way of thinking, and that’s a big difference. Things might go over gaon’s head, and he’s not always right, but he’s looking at all perspectives, even if they’re wrong. Multiple times Yohan has been surprised by gaon’s way of thinking. That’s intriguing and it’s different.

Which lead to situations where gaon’s confronting Yohan about himself, holding up a mirror and asking him if that’s truly who he is or if it’s someone he’s trying to be, if he’s listening to what other people have told him or if he’s actually listening to himself. Which is kind of ironic with Yohan only being able to trust himself, but he can’t even do that, can he? He lies to himself in order not to face what he truly feels. And that’s because it’s filled with pain, and Yohan doesn’t have time for that.

But there is also a reason why a lot of his progress takes place in his house and away from the world because a home is meant for vulnerability and while Yohan and Elijah haven’t had that in a while, Yohan didn’t take into account gaon’s ability to see things differently. Yohan saw gaon’s mind for his plan and for the overarching plot to oust the rich, but what he did not consider is how that would translate into his personal life. Which is hilarious because Yohan is the one that brought gaon into his home in the first place and ultimately ended up with a surprise of a man who’s clearly moved in because Yohan never tells him he has to leave.

So, that’s where things begin to unravel. Gaon tests Yohan’s patience and emotions in ways he hasn’t been tested. Again, gaon’s held up the mirror and asked him to consider looking deeper for the actual truth instead of the façade Yohan lets himself believe is real. Gaon is also one of the only other people in yohan’s life that has actually considered yohan’s feelings and, in turn, elijah’s. gaon is also a man of righteousness and it makes sense that he’s not afraid to share parts of himself if it means it’s doing something good.

We see this particularly with Elijah, telling her about his parents, not reprimanding her over her murder plot, lmao. gaon grew up in an emotionally healthy, and most likely, happy household where he could express himself without feeling like a burden. He has patience and kindness imbedded into his being.

So with that dynamic of being in a home where people are not on display in front of the world, with gaon’s ability to emotionally connect with people, and finding out the looming secrets of the kang household, it becomes rife with opportunity to peel back those layers and expose them for what they are and talk about it and instead of hiding it away in the shadows. Gaon gives them all space to have those emotions, and while he prods and he asks questions, it’s generally in the form of a gentle reminder that other perspectives exists than the ones that are within those four walls. Gaon doesn’t get angry necessarily, and he apologizes when he’s wrong. His straightforwardness and heart-on-his-sleeve demeanor actually works in his favor, albeit a bit misguided at times.

And with all of this, it’s how Yohan slowly begins to open up. Gaon might be accusatory from his distrust of Yohan, but it’s from a place of curiosity and determination to understand, ultimately, rather than a motive of punishment. I think gaon connecting with Elijah is also the icing on the cake and driving motivator that yohan made a good choice in keeping gaon around because Yohan notices the change in his niece and how much happier she is. Gaon’s directly pointed fingers at Yohan and he’s spied on him, but he’s also confronted Yohan about what he’s done head on without taking justice into his own hands. So with those two things combined (helping elijah and wanting understanding), and even yohan’s determination to get gaon on his side, means that level of trust has slowly, but surely, grown into something much more than Yohan ever thought it could be.

Because again, Yohan did not think about the intricacies of living with other people at home and how well you get to know them by merely existing under the same roof. Gaon learns little things about Yohan and doesn’t use them to his advantage or as a slight – maybe in the beginning with the spying, if we want to give him any credit at all for that. Gaon sees a problem and tries to fix it – just like he sees a problem with the world and with corruption and uses the justice system to fix it.

With all of that understanding and poking and prodding, gaon learns how much Yohan cares for Isaac and for Elijah and validates those emotions while still giving Yohan a slap on the wrist for how he’s expressed that care. He learns of yohan’s abuse and confirmed and supported the idea of being a victim and how that’s okay, that Yohan needs to learn to accept it for himself in order to truly heal. He’s berated Yohan for not showing more kindness to Elijah, the only family he has left and just how important that bond is, after discovering what Elijah means to Yohan.

And that’s given Yohan agency with his own emotions. He’s cried over the memory of his father abusing him and wishing he could’ve stopped it. He’s admitted that he hates when gaon looks at him like he’s a monster, and he definitely hates it when gaon makes assumptions and dives in head first without actually thinking things through. But that is also an advantage of Yohan: understanding someone emotionally because it means that Yohan has learned so much about gaon and the way he thinks that when in episode 9 he tells gaon about how he reminds him of Isaac with his assumptions, it comes from a place of discussion rather than anger. He’s realized the way to get through to gaon is through talking and physically showing gaon how he thinks (the prison reveal). Granted, he’s been doing this with gaon since the beginning, but it’s become even more pertinent now.

The thing is, Yohan has recognized gaon’s kindness at this point. He’s witnessed it in his misguided understanding of the justice system. But what’s truly interesting is that Yohan understands gaon’s kindness, but he still doesn’t understand the world’s. Yohan has a very different perspective of what kindness looks like because it’s not actual kindness but motivation and ulterior motives. Kindness to Yohan is power play – it’s people using others by any means necessary to get a leg up. It’s self-serving for their own benefit and not for others.

Which is also how that first seed of trust is planted with gaon – when he saved the little girl and the bus driver. And how more seeds are trusted by way of gaon doing what gaon does best – provoking Yohan with different thoughts, especially when it comes to family.

But this also applies to yohan’s understanding and hypocrisy when it comes to Elijah and kindness. At this point and by episode 9, Yohan has accepted gaon’s kindness. He’s let it in, lets Elijah indulge in it because he’s noticed that their home is happier – by way of making gaon come back because Elijah missed him. Yohan believes Elijah naïve for trusting others who show her any ounce of kindness, but the thing is, Yohan has come to trust gaon. He’s witnessed the kindness and the understanding, and yet it’s much easier to continue believing that it’s actually a cruel and ugly thing, especially in the wake of Elijah getting hurt, and that’s his default method of coping. Kindness got Elijah hurt and in trouble. It’s what makes you weak.

And if there is one thing we know about Yohan is that he’s anything but weak, but it’s another lie. Kindness did not get Yohan anywhere in life. Kindness got his brother murdered and his family taken away from him.

But the saving grace from that way of thinking? Gaon, yet again, telling Yohan why he’s wrong. Gaon tells Yohan every human needs someone to rely on as long as they’re human, and I think that was certainly a pain point of remembrance in how Yohan had no one but Isaac and then no one after. only this time, a point is made by way of Elijah because she only has Yohan now and she, unlike what Yohan convinces himself he doesn’t need, actually wants to experience human nature – that innate thing kang Yohan has so desperately read about and studied without taking into consideration that the carnal desires of humanity don’t always outweigh the good found within.

And isn’t that just a little bit ironic how someone so capable of understanding the human psyche cannot simply recognize kindness when it’s so freely given? If he weren’t the skeptic and the hypocrite, maybe he’d see what’s right before his eyes, and maybe he’d see just how far he’s come in allowing someone to see parts of himself he’d always been led to believe didn’t matter.

Kang Yohan is a complex character, but he has so much room for growth, and it’s exciting witnessing that in baby steps – and that’s all because he couldn’t tell his doe-eyed associate judge no. sucks for Yohan, I guess; getting himself into a mess he cannot get himself out of, an issue of his own doing and one we very clearly have seen he doesn’t want to rectify, lmao.

also one more thing..... that dinner scene in ep 9 is also a true testament of what can be done with just a little provocation because there you have yohan realizeing what a happy home can look like if he just tries to be more vulnerable and that it actually, in fact, does matter.

#x #* #kang yohan #the devil judge #look who write 2.3k about yohan bc im a dumbass and just spit out thoughts #this is not in order at all this is me rambling like the dumb b that i am #god i love yohan so much wow i hope this makes sense bc yikes #this is what happens when u have a lot of thoughts and there's so many components s #even after all this i know ive missed some but lmaooo here is this #does any of this make sense i hope it makes sense bc i dont feel like it's fleshed out how i wanted it #nor is it in order but uh yeah food for thought yall!!!!!!!!

[rathologic]

can you elaborate on that future of the town/children post? really interesting point! but it kinda flew over my head lmao

in briefest terms p1 finishes with deciding what the Town will become and finding the characters' place in the chosen ending, and p2 finishes with artemy getting on a train and leaving...

which is partly a function of p2's frame narrative of "this is a play being performed about these events in a town -> the player is a hired actor reproducing their character" coming into conflict with p1's perspective of "the player is inhabiting their character". p2 doesn't have the same stakes (this is lampshaded in the alpha by the rat prophet saying the plague can't kill you!) since all of the p2 endings shift the town into a timeless, miraculous state (exemplified by the sun no longer moving in the main two) from which it will not grow or develop. whereas the p1 endings come with an understanding that it's all part of a larger cycle and the Town will continue for many years past the lifespan of its current inhabitants

that ties directly into the motivation of the haruspex protecting his bound- in both games, isidor instructs artemy to watch over these seven children and the "Eighth", but the way this is fulfilled differs. p1 artemy wants them to live because the kids are all important to his ideology and to the future town, directed by Capella's visions in which she assigns them all crucial roles. p2 artemy wants them to live because children dying is wrong (insert analysis on the way this works with his character and/or allows the player/actor to relate to him), which is still a valid reason but MUCH less thematically sound

the p2 endings don't have anything to do with whether characters have died, which has really been on my mind lately, but it boils down to the only penalty you get for letting those children die is feeling bad about it. and this includes the Eighth both when you take it to mean the Earth, which is the only option presented to you by p2, and when you read it as Aglaya, who dies no matter what you do :( you can fail every single being on the List via Diurnal and still get a you-did-great-son ending. and Mark says once you get the ending, they're going to redo the whole thing anyway with a different character so don't worry about what you ended up with

in classic, if any of your Bound are dying you can't make your argument to aglaya and block, so you can't realize the ending that your inheritance directed you towards, so the haruspex's entire character arc collapses and he's forced to align with a competing ideology (one that A) destroys his people and their livelihood, or B) relies on bloodshed to perpetuate things just as they are), or else the plague kills Everyone. so it's just a really different set of motivations and consequences for doing the haruspex's duty

#i do sort of need to replay p2 days 4-11 but consider: I also don't want to #pathologic #p2 spoilers #p1 spoilers #asks #long post #p2crit

[fanficmaniatic]

The "Anti-Chat" Theory.

(Which is also why Chat Blanc 2.0 wont work and why Ladybug needs to be akumatized).

This is a turducken on my thoughts for S4 and the future of the show so just roll with it.

So, Season 4 has been wild so far, and if clues given by the writers and people involved in show are any indication, this is only the beginning, we are in for a bumpy ride and things are just going to keep getting worse.

In all the discourse revolving season 4 something that we are all mentioning is how “Chat Blanc” is still a thing and there is no guarantee it won’t happen again. If anything it now seems more likely Chat Noir will get akumatized considering the imminent Ladynoir fallout, and how Adrien is still living with his Father, as his isolation keeps getting worse. And though I am always In for some good Character angst, and I feel like it is necessary for Adrien to know about Chat Blanc, and/or for Chat Blanc to reappear, I don’t think Chat Blanc 2.0 is something Adrien nor the show needs right know.

This theory has many parts, I promise it all ties neatly at the end.

First things first, I may be a little biased, Chat Blanc is an episode I really enjoy. I love Time Travel shenanigans, and I was dying to see Adrien finally find out about his father. The heavy consequences of the episode were obviously erased, but the impact of it all still remains trough Marinette, whom we see in the episode ‘Sentibbubler’ is having nightmares about the whole thing. But still, I love the episode, and I really don’t want an “Stormy Weather 2”… which is an episode I heavily dislike, compared to THE BEST formulaic episode of the Whole show, a.k.a “Stormy Weather” a.k.a My favorite episode. So yeah, this whole first point is just me REALLY not wanting an episode called “Chat Blanc 2.0” But there is more to it, and is the fact that I don’t see how it could work out.

“Chat Blanc 2.0” is unnecessary, and the reason why is that bringing him back wouldn’t actually do anything besides perhaps bringing Ladynoir further apart. Ladybug still CAN’T know Chat noir’s identity, (Let’s be honest and admit that’s prolly s4 finale OR happening during s5) so the show would go out of its way to make his dialogue as plain as possible without mentioning his father being hawkmoth. And yes, I do realize that Chat has been bottling his emotions and it all is likely to come out during THE ladynoir fall out… But people are ignoring the elephant in the room which is that Chat Noir DOES NOT fight Ladybug.

I promise this is relevant.

Chat Noir, unless mind controlled, would never attack Ladybug. The most clear example of this is in “Gamer 2.0” when he straight up says “I could never bring myself to fight you” as he sacrifices himself for her, that added to their classic “Is us against the world, My Lady” every season finale, and Marinette’s “In case something happens to me” In ‘Optygami’, it all could pretty well be a foreshadowing of a Ladynoir fight, where Ladybug is akumatized, and Chat has to willingly fight her. Yes, one could argue that he did fight her during ‘Chat Blanc’, but it could also be read as more of him trying to make her listen.

Where am I going with this? Chat Blanc 2.0 would be unable to bring the nuance the story needs right now. Chat Blanc still wouldn’t fight his father, because I doubt they won’t leave that for season 5. Chat Blanc still doesn’t have a motive to actually fight Ladybug. But the most important part is… What would happen at the end? What would be the change? What conversation are we having? What would be different than what we got in the original Chat Blanc?

To be fair, maybe I am wrong, maybe it can work out, this is just a theory. Maybe all the things I crossed out as impossible will actually happen, but I have been watching the show for 6 years, and If I have learned something about it, is that it is a slow burn, in ALL the aspects.

So yes, I believe Ladybug/Marinette needs to be akumatized, but I also think that Adrien has to learn about Chat Blanc, and that Chat Blanc needs to reappear, having a bigger Role than just a nightmare. So… how does that tie with everything I just said? Easy, the “Anti- Chat” Theory’

So you probably remember “Anti-Bug”, one of the best episodes from season 1, where Chole tries to help Ladybug, she doesn’t listen, and Chloe ends up being akumatized into “Ladybug but evil” … In theory, that is the deal, and is no wonder I am picking Felix Graham De Vanily to fill this role.

From an animation perspective, Felix is the obvious choice, he is identical to Adrien, and if following Anti-bug’s logic in costume desing, that would mean they can reuse Chat Blanc model with no alteration needed.

Now, How would this work? By giving Ladybug a jump scare. She thinks she has to live one of her worst nightmares again, to then find out “Oh… This is not Chat Noir” while still creating enough tension, by looking scared and distraught, that she HAS to tell him that she is scared of him being akumatized WITHOUT actually needing to mention the alternative timeline. This gives Chat noir the chance to lash out, once he realizes this is part of why ladybug is keeping him away, which can lead to Ladybug’s future akumatization.

Why this way? And please hear me out. Chat Noir NEEDS to let his emotions out, and I don’t think lashing out at ladybug is the best way but I see it as necessary. Adrien needs to take on more responsibility while being Chat, but he also needs to learn how to healthy express his emotions, because he is not allowed to do that in his current situation. Ladybug being akumatized because she feels guilty about Chat Noir allows Adrien to do BOTH. Because to save Ladybug he would have to realize “My emotions are valid, and is okey to let them out, but the way I did it was not the right one”, and both Ladybug and Chat Noir would have to apologize because this whole thing is not miscommunication… is a misunderstanding of their partners character. Ladybug needs to relay more on Chat and Chat needs to take on more responsibility… it won’t happen if Ladybug is the one that needs to save Chat Noir.

Adrien needs to realize that he needs to save himself, and that there’s people outside of his father that care for him. Ladybug is this figure that he looks up to and Admires, and is from a side of his life that his father has no control over, (At least from his perspective). So if she forgives him, if they are able to fix their relationship he will realize that things can get better.

Now, going back to Anti-Chat… his deal is way bigger than just bringing The Ladynoir fight… Is about setting up seasons 6 and 7.

What do we know so far? The Love Square and Gabriel’s Hawkmoth is going to come to an end by season 5. Which has left many fans wondering “Then what is happening on seasons 6 and 7?” And the best answer we have so far is in the episode “Timetagger” where Bunnix reveals that there is a whole team of miraculous holders fighting the Hawkmoth of the future, which is by the same episode confirmed to not be Gabriel Agreste. Besides this, I think it is safe to assume that the specials are quietly setting up themes that could come back In seasons 6 and 7.

Now, when speaking about characters that could be future villains the fandom seems to have its collective mind set on two individuals: Lila Rossi, and Felix Graham De Vanily.

Besides ‘Rocketear’, (E17), ‘Wishmaker’ (E18), and the special ’Shadow Moth’s last attack’ (Eps 25&26) we don’t know the names of the episodes of the second half of the season, which is really uncommon for miraculous ladybug, and the reason they gave us as to why is “You would know who is akumatized based on the names”… Which AGAIN, is really uncommon for ML. If you have been in this fandom for a long time you’ll realize that most people working in the show don’t really seem to care about spoilers. Now, this is kinda a conspiracy theory, but If you saw that there was an episode called “Anti-Chat” would you have assume it was any one other than Felix?…. No, right? That’s what I though. Miraculous has proven that it is good at subverting expectations, so when they are pointing at something (like a Chat Blanc 2.0 episode) it may not be as we want or suspected it to be. So I think an Anti-Chat episode makes a lot of sense.

Now, Why am I saying that this can set up future season? Buckle up, pals, here we go. What do we know about Felix?

He is evil, or at the very least seems to be ill-intentioned, if his attitude and look at the end of his episode is anything to go by.

He is after jewelry. Which, yeah, was only shown in that one episode he appeared, but this could pretty much be a foreshadowing of him later on going after the miraculous.

We know that he is bound to appear 3 more times

For this theory to work, I need it to happen in episode 22… Yes, the feared 100th episode of the show. It is not as important why Felix is akumatized, but what is happening WHILE he is akumatized.

Besides what has already been discussed, with Ladybug being scared, Ladynoir should not be able to work together. They are tumbling on each other because Chat Noir feels like she doesn’t trust him, but Ladybug NEEDS his reassurance right now, which he wont give.

This, is directly parallel with what is happening between Anti-Chat and Shadow Moth. Because Felix, even though he wants the miraculous, he won’t let himself be bossed around. He is demanding things from SM, and like in Robustus, Anti-Chat tries to, not just take Ladybug’s and Chat noir’s Miraculous, he wants to destroy Hawkmoth too. Which will lead to Shadow Moth being the reason he gets de-akumatized, instead Ladybug and Chat Noir saving him... bringing more fuel to the Ladynoir fire.

Now, Why should Felix have an attitude with Shadow Moth? Well, my friends… Do you remember, years ago, when the producers of the show said “The peacock miraculous holder will make Hawkmoth look like a baby”…. That’s not Mayura. Nathalie is a great miraculous holder, and she is really clever. But instead of making Gabriel look like a baby, she makes him look smart because he has someone like her on his team. What I am saying with this is that Felix, will suspect/ figure out Gabriel is Hawkmoth at the en of Anti-Chat, and that he will get the peacock miraculous during “The Last attack of Shadow Moth.” Thus, setting up a villain for future seasons.

This makes Felix 3 appearances be: In episode 22 (Anti-Chat), In episode 26 (SM last attack, part 2), and during S5’s finale. Felix situation will be much like Lila’s during s1 and s2 where she was introduced at the end of the first but not used until the end of the second.

Conclusion:

Felix Graham de Vanily has the potential to be a future villain and bring the Ladynoir conflict to finally surface.

And to clarify, The Ladynoir conflict, just like this Felix theory, is not something that will, nor can get resolved in one episode. If anything the fight will be around the end of season 4, and it will get resolved during season 5.

But again, this is just a theory, and I will probably be death wrong, but who knows?

#Watch E22 be called Anti-chat #Anti-chat Theory #ml theory #ml meta #miraculous theory #miraculous meta #miraculous season 4 #rocketear #shadow moth #miraculous season 4 finale #shadow moth's last attack #felix graham de vanily #Adrien agreste #Gabriel Agreste #Marinetter dupain cheng #akuma #wishmaker #senti bubbler #Chat Noir #Ladybug #Cat Noir #Anti-Chat #AntiCat #miraculousladybug

[thyandrawrites]

I was curious what you think of Uraraka's overall character in development. I see a lot of mixed views on her within the fandom. At one point I disliked her as I saw her as quite weak character to mostly serve as a love interest, but after her conversation with Toga during the war she's started to grow on me. I think a lot of my overall mixed feelings stem from not really being sure what Hori's trying to do with her.

I had begun to type a response but tumblr ate it up so uughhh this is a lot less well worded than what I originally had, I’m sorry

I loved Ochako, particularly during the sport festival arc. I liked that she had a less cliche reason to be a hero than most of the cast. She wanted to help others, so it was still selfless and a genuine heroic vocation, but she had already two specific people in mind, her parents. Her motive was a lot less abstract than Deku’s, but no less valid or heroic. I think there was potential to developing her further along those lines. But that never happened, which is a shame.

I too get the feeling that hori doesn’t know what to do with her. She was introduced as a badass and independent female character, and at first it was deku looking up to her, not the other way around. I used to like their dynamic a lot more when there wasn’t any romance involved, because their bond was strong and meaningful even without it. Ochako’s the person who redefined the insult “deku” to mean something positive and inspiring. They used to be equals who supported each other, and then at some point Hori thought of destroying all that by falling into the typical shounen manga trope of the girl protagonist chasing after the MC’s back. And even then, I’m not sure why romance even had to be thrown in the mix. Hori could’ve kept it as Ochako finding Deku an inspiration to better herself as a hero, but the romance subplot kinda cheapens her resolve imho? Everyone else got inspired by Deku because he has charisma and he’s strong. She got inspired because she has a crush. It’s pretty underwhelming if you ask me. Especially since she decided not to act on her crush so I’m not even sure why that was even brought up in the first place.

Anyway, then Chisaki’s arc happened, and she got character development. I feel like Hori underutilized her here as well, but that’s a whole different can of worms. Point is, her motivations shifted. She now wants to be a hero who saves people, which is probably meant to mirror Deku’s resolution to save everyone with a smile.

I’m of two minds about this. On the one hand, I feel like this is unnecessary...? Saving people is part of a hero’s job, so it’s not like she wouldn’t be helping others just because her original motivation was oriented towards the goal of giving her parents monetary aid. I kinda dislike how this was framed as a “shift” in her heroic disposition, because even when she was doing this for money, it still didn’t make her selfish. She wasn’t doing it to pocket that cash herself. She fully intended to give it to her parents. She wasn’t after a comfortable life for herself, but she was putting someone else’s wellbeing over her own. The fact that in her case the people who would benefit from her help weren’t the abstract, faceless masses but people she knew personally just served to make her a lot more grounded imho. She wanted to help people in a concrete way, you know? Heroes always focus on grandiose acts of heroism, but poverty is still a major issue in bnha. Sometimes it’s even directly tied to villainy.

On the other hand, the fact that her resolve just became a tad more abstract is probably the basis for establishing how she’ll likely be tasked with saving Toga, her negative foil. So the story kind of needed her to be as idealistic as Deku and Shouto, because their narrative challenge isn’t gonna be an easy one to pull off. I’m just. Framing. urghh. Why is it always a narrative of “catching up” to the male leads.

Anyway, the major reason why I’m unsure what Hori wants to do with her is because he never spends a lot of narrative time on her, as opposed to the other (male) mcs? Deku and Shouto’s resolve to save their narrative foils has been established with a pretty grandiose focus on how this makes them the hopes of the new generation, but Ochako’s once again lagging behind. We had her confrontation with Toga, sure, but we’ve yet to see Ochako have her own lit lightbulb moment, you feel me? Where is it. Why is it taking so long.

I feel like Hori’s constantly torn between her role as a love interest and her role as an independent character and a ray of hope of the new gen. Her so-called development is done kinda clumsily, spread out across several arcs but always inconclusive. For example, she realized she wanted to help people in Chisaki’s arc. That was like 10 volumes ago. What has she done in the meantime? She’s lept to “save” Deku from the activation of his new quirk during the fight with Shinsou. Mh. Not like Deku was in a life or death situation but whatever. “rescuing” her love interest is kinda... a meh way to expand on that. Moving on. The war arc was the perfect opportunity to show her pull off something big, and yet... she just helps with evacuating, which... okay I guess it’s one way of “saving people”, but it’s still pretty underwhelming when you put it side by side with everything that the other class A kids pulled off in that same arc. I feel like hori misses out on a lot of opportunities to really make her shine, and it’s a damn shame because imho her character had a lot more to offer when she wasn’t a Sakura Haruno chasing after Sasuke and Naruto’s backs because they’re so much more awesome than her

I hope that at least her plot with Toga is gonna correct that o/

#ali replies #bnha #bnha spoilers #my post #Anonymous

[sistazai]

Posted @withregram • @wokescientist Capitalism, aspirations, ambitions, dreams & goals - how we do dream BIG while never losing sight that no one is free until we are all free? Dream of liberation, not luxury ✖️Does your self-worth & self-esteem hinge on being better than or superior to your fellow human beings? We are all socialized such that it does. Do you gain validation from having more material possessions, titles, awards, or “political knowledge” than other folks? We’re socialized to think that “better than” means innately more worthy. Our liberation hinges on us unlearning — 🌹To support this work please donate to my mutual aid fund that goes to directly to houseless folks in Santiago, Chile 🔹 Cashapp $ayeshakhan4 🔹PayPal.me/ayeshakhan4 ♤ Can't access my venmo as of now outside the US temporarily ♤ —————— feel free to share- just tag & credit me ✨ to help counter shadowban SAVE > SHARE > COMMENT/ LIKE —————— 🏴If our motivation behind our actions from seeking awards, promotions, wins in a political argument, popularity etc- is about being “right” or being “better than” then it does more harm than good • It helps me today to question my deep motivations behind each action I take, word I say & goal I pursue. Beyond being able to have basic security to survive- my ego can’t drive my aspirations 🌹 I’ve grappled w/ this to make more humble, collective choices rather than capitalist ones even if its appealing, socially acceptable or simpler. There was value in me aspiring for more when I had little to nothing, but I know now that that aspiration was for basic security & stability- food, water, shelter, community. I never need to aspire to wealth & superior status to be safe. Aspiring to possess more hurts me & everyone cuz our liberations are tied • • • • • #anticapitalism #anticapitalist #abolition #abolishcapitalism #abolishthestate #anarchism #anarchist #anarchy #mutualaid #leftist #leftists #neoliberalism #wekeepussafe #decolonize #decolonizeyourmind #decolonizethisplace #decolonizedminds #decolonizeyourbookshelf #unlearnandrelearn #unlearning #unlearn #houselessnothomeless #solidaritynotcharity #revolutionnow #abolitionnow #abolitionist https://www.instagram.com/p/CbF-XU4B-HF/?utm_medium=tumblr

#anticapitalism #anticapitalist #abolition #abolishcapitalism #abolishthestate #anarchism #anarchist #anarchy #mutualaid #leftist #leftists #neoliberalism #wekeepussafe #decolonize #decolonizeyourmind #decolonizethisplace #decolonizedminds #decolonizeyourbookshelf #unlearnandrelearn #unlearning #unlearn #houselessnothomeless #solidaritynotcharity #revolutionnow #abolitionnow #abolitionist