#my first fav would be tommy

[riotzerosys]

i drew gordon freeman (hlvrai) goin camping with the science team in his 'MIT' sweater

#hlvrai #gordon feetman #lmao #digital art #my art #shitpost #i just rly wanted him in a babygirl pose but like.. #subtle #yk? #anyways yea #he's like my third fav of the hlvrai cast #my first fav would be tommy #but gordon's rly fun and easy to draw #and i have yet to figure out what design works best for tommy #rambling in tags #ALSO OHHH MY GODDDDD IM GETTING BETTER AT HANDS YAY #THEY ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE POSING #INSTEAD OF BEING A BIG OL BLOB #i'm even getting better at poses hooray!!

[baddestbittyontheblock]

thomas shelby fic recs

you are responsible for the content you consume‼️

✧*:·˚ hi everyone!! here is a list of all the fics that are my favs with tagged writers/authors ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each writer!! ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ also, if you'd like me to remove your fic from this list, message me! ✧*:·˚

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

「*ೃ࿔」 another chance by @smallheathgangsters thomas shelby x reader | 2.6k

-tommy believes keeping things about work from y/n would help their relationship. he couldn’t be more wrong.

「*ೃ࿔」 a promise i won't break by @justauthoring thomas shelby x reader | 1.2k

-mosley is obsessed with tommy’s wife and tries to make a move on her.

「*ೃ࿔」 dead of night by @justauthoring thomas shelby x reader | 1.2k

-without you, everything just seems fucking pointless.

「*ೃ࿔」 the right treatment by @ijustwant2write tommy shelby x reader, john shelby x reader (platonic), arthur shelby x reader (platonic), polly shelby x reader (platonic) | swearing, illness (including pain), injury, arguing, angst, fluff

「*ೃ࿔」 a free spirit by @ijustwant2write thomas shelby x reader | mentions of sex, fighting, threats, pregnant symptoms, shouting, swearing

「*ೃ࿔」 gunshot by @smallheathgangsters thomas shelby x reader | 2.7k | fluff, some hurt/comfort

-tommy and y/n spend a night together, but never speak about it again. that changes, when tommy’s business plans have a dangerous impact on the lives of people he loves.

「*ೃ࿔」 another chance by @smallheathgangsters thomas shelby x reader | 2.6k

-tommy believes keeping things about work from y/n would help their relationship. he couldn’t be more wrong.

「*ೃ࿔」 unspoken by @shelbylimiited-blog thomas shelby x reader

-"i can't keep kissing strangers and pretending that they're you."   "people are staring."

「*ೃ࿔」 all nights after by @tessimagines thomas shelby x reader | heatedness and nakedness, I guess? no actual smut though.

-tommy comes to a conclusion one night late in bed.

「*ೃ࿔」 i chose you by @peaky-blinders-lit thomas shelby x reader

-you’d never been a morning person but mornings with Tommy were blissful.

「*ೃ࿔」 brave enough by @cas-kingdom sister!reader x tommy | 3.1k

-you’re the only person brave enough to mess with thomas shelby.

「*ೃ࿔」 not part of the deal by @storiesforallfandoms thomas shelby x female!reader | swearing, violence, hints of smut, 1.6k

-a potential peaky blinders business partner ruins his chances by making some off remarks about the boss’ girl

「*ೃ࿔」 wishing it was you by @orionwhispers thomas shelby x reader

-tommy knows he's standing next to Grace.

「*ೃ࿔」 private ceremony by @storiesforallfandoms thomas shelby x female!reader | 1.1k

-after some trouble with his men, tommy and his bride to be decide to have a quiet, more intimate ceremony before the chaotic one

「*ೃ࿔」 fear by @babylooneytoonz thomas shelby x female!reader | light angst , mentions of abortion, unplanned pregnancy

-tommy and his second wife, reader, an independent, successful business woman are living a fairly happy marriage until the reader finds out she's pregnant. things take a wrong turn when their work life clashes with this news and in the end, the reader takes a devastating decision. without consulting her husband.

「*ೃ࿔」 nice to meet you by @merakiaes thomas shelby x reader | 2.9k

-you’re ada’s flatmate in london and you haven’t met her brothers yet. tommy comes to your shared house one night to find you giving karl a bath and as he doesn’t recognize you, his automatic response is to pull a gun on you. 

Part Two - First Impressions

Part Three - Salvation

「*ೃ࿔」 speechless thomas shelby x reader

-thomas shelby knows that he’s going to marry his childhood friend one day. He also knows he’ll be a bundle of nerves when the day arrives.

「*ೃ࿔」 love is blindness by @blueathens tommy shelby x fem!reader | smut (MDNI!), raging breeding kink, creampie, unprotected sex (please use a condom), tommy has A Thing about you being pregnant, 3.3k

-after watching you mother his boys, tommy is intent on making you the mother of his real children.

「*ೃ࿔」 protect you by @babybluebex tommy shelby x fem!reader | this is pure fluff no smut to be seen, violence is mentioned, injuries are mentioned, confessions of love are abound, tommy hates to admit when he's got a crush but buddy now is the time to admit it, 2.5k

-being a peaky blinder often makes you a target, but when a rival gang crosses the line, tommy puts you first.

「*ೃ࿔」 misbehaving by @babybluebex tommy shelby x fem!reader | smut (MDNI!), dubcon (the punishment isn't exactly wanted but the sex, reader is 100% into), impact play (spanking, belting), slutshaming, age gap (tommy is early 40s, reader is 20-something), unprotected sex, glimpses of sweet tommy

-you made tommy look like a fool, so he doles out a punishment that he deems appropriate

「*ೃ࿔」 little love by @twilightmyths tommy shelby x fem!reader | pure fluff

-thomas shelby adored you.

#thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby smut #tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders #tommy shelby smut #fic recs #fic rec

[chasedbyatlantic]

when you wash your hair, joel miller

summary: IN WHICH — you decide to surprise a sleeping joel after you've been working all day outside of jackson's walls, but it doesn't go as you plan.

warnings: gender neutral x joel miller, post outbreak!joel, jackson!joel, mentions of you and joel in a relationship, sub!joel, joel has ptsd, joel almost hurts reader (doesn't tho so dw!), lots of fluff at the end, cute ending, lots of swearing, ellie being annoying as per usual LOL. lmk if there’s anything i missed <3

wordcount: 2.6k

a/n: hiiii this is my very first fic on tumblr! i have been obsessed w/ tlou for the LONGEST time now so why not start writing for my fav fictional mass murderer? anyway- hope u guys enjoy! i plan to post a ton more so stay tuned xoxo

—

You had just finished an ungodly long shift along the outskirts of Jackson, keeping everyone inside safe from- well, whatever lay outside (scary squirrels, mostly). It had been so different since you arrived, with Joel and Ellie. For starters, you weren't kept on edge every single second of every single day - Joel was, which you always got pissed at him for, since you two were more than safe inside these walls. There was also the fact that life had sort of just- resumed, after twenty years of fighting for your life. It was alright, though, a sense of normalcy was nice, even if it were to only last for a little while (you were hoping it lasted forever).

As soon as you were inside the gates of Jackson, you rode over to the stables in which your horse, Leo, was housed at. The big wooden doors were opened by a stable hand that looked no older than Ellie, maybe she knew who this was, you thought to yourself.

You had slid the kid a small "thank you." as they closed the door behind you, and you hopped off Leo. You reached in your bag and scrounged for a second, before pulling out an apple core, the remains of the apple you had eaten earlier. "Here boy," your hand raised towards the horse's snout with the leftovers in-palm, and he took it as if it were the best thing in the world.

Leo munched away while you swapped his bridle for a halter and lead, tugging him to his freshly-mucked stall. He had walked over to his water bucket and you moved with him, undoing his girth and removing his saddle. It was hoisted over your arm as you moved out and locked his stall. "Excuse me," You called over to the stable hand that had let you in as you put all of his tack on the stand in front, "Do you mind brushing him down for me? I've had a long day and gotta get home quick."

The kid nodded their head eagerly, which had earned a smile from you. You weren't lying about having a long day or needing to get home quick - besides, you had always stayed after your shifts, right now you were just craving to see your favourite person (and a warm bath too, you had guessed).

You had removed your gloves as you took one last glimpse at your boy before you left him to be taken care of by the stable hand. As you walked out of the stable, you were greeted with a nice breeze. It wasn't exactly winter yet, but it sure as hell wasn't summer. Autumn was close on finishing, which only meant the days were getting longer.

It took you a mere twenty five minutes to walk back to the Miller residence. If you had a little pep in your step, it would've taken no longer than fifteen. But, being up since before sunrise has its cons. Anyway, it isn't your fault that Tommy and Maria (Joel's brother and new sister-in-law) placed you guys in the farthest house literally ever.

As you approached closer to the home, you could see the familiar little (she would kill you if she heard you describe her as little) girl. The girl took notice of you too, "Fucking finally!" Ellie had kicked up her skateboard, grabbing the tip of it, and came running over. "Jesus Christ, I thought you had got eaten by like- fucking bigfoot out there!", She seemed to be only half-joking.

"I was not eaten out there, Ellie." You sigh as you messed her hair up slightly with your hand, "Is Joel still out on patrol?" You had asked the girl. Her face dropped, earning an "ugh!" from her. "You two love birds are gross. You should care more about me than him! He's a frail, broken, old man while I'm a super cool, and totally awesome young person." You rolled your eyes, an automatic laugh escaping your lips. "Another half an hour out here, Elle. It's almost sundown- and please be careful, for fuck sakes. I don't want to be popping your kneecap back in place because of a fall off that- board."

You weren't Ellie's mom, and you didn't mean to take any place of a motherly figure in her life - it just, sort of happened. After what had happened in Salt Lake City a year ago, and you had fought for Ellie back alongside Joel, you couldn't help but grow so much more attached to her- you and Joel both. This is when your motherly instincts (you were never a mother, not before or during this apocalyptic world) kicked in. You both shared a special bond, one that would never be broken, despite the cruel world you both live in.

A small grunt and a "fine" escaped the girl's lips as she flips her board down and kicks off down the street. You shake your head with an almost disapproving look and walk down the rest of the block to your home. A small smile plays upon your lips as you approach the house with a mailbox at the bottom of the driveway that reads "MILLER". Your last name was not Miller, but you were in a relationship with a Miller, so that could maybe, in the slightest, count as your name too.

Your hand brushed past the rusted metal box as you walk up the paved drive way, you're excited to see Joel. Hell, it feels like it's been an eternity since you've seen that man - when in reality, it's only been since this morning. You climb up the wooden stairs at the front of your porch and remove your boots before entering the house - this saved horrid amounts of mud that would scatter in the small foyer of your home. Once your feet are out of your dirty boots, you silently enter the home.

The door was never locked, not when Joel knew you or Ellie weren't home. You didn't know why he kept it unlocked- maybe in case something had happened and you needed to get home fast, or in case you would lose your keys while out and about. It wasn't that big of a deal, though; nobody else lived in this part of the town (besides Tommy and Maria, who were distant neighbours).

It was dead silent when you entered, too eery for your liking. "Joel?" You called out as you shrugged off your autumn layers. No response. "Joel?" You call out once again, moving to where you had seen the light. You approached tip-toeing, starting to get a bit on edge. Joel was always there to greet you when you got home, unless he had patrol duty himself. As soon as you step foot in your living room, all of the previous worries you had melted away as you saw your favourite person curled up on the arm chair, sitting back and mouth open slightly. You wish you had a camera, god a polaroid of this would be amazing.

You approached him, quiet as ever, sliding the sleeves of your soft-knit sweater over ninety percent of your hands. You had brought your face closer to Joel's once you were close enough. The smell of his vanilla and rose scented shampoo had engulfed you. Joel said he hated it (in reality, he definitely did not), but if it made you love him a little more, he would wash his hair with it.

"You're perfect, you know that." You whisper to him, even though he was sound asleep. From the faded freckles over the bridge of his nose from being out in the sun too much this summer, to the small scars that littered his forehead from years of just surviving, he was perfect.

You breathed hushly as you moved your hands up to his face, to cup his cheeks. You thought it was perfect, for him to wake up to you (as if he didn't every morning) at this moment. You knew he missed you when he wasn't with you, he told you multiple times. This would be a nice thing to make his day slightly better, you had thought. Your fingers made soft contact with the flesh on his face - but, this is where it all went wrong.

Joel had shot up from the deep (well, you thought deep) sleep he was in and grabbed the hands that were touching his face. It hadn't registered to him that it was actually you who was touching his face, and not a clicker, or a raider, or anything else. Rage and a sense of fear filled his eyes as they shot opened, eyebrows furrowed as they looked around frantically - he was ready to fight.

A loud grunt and an "ow." escaped your lips once your hands were grabbed and yanked. It had happened within a blink of an eye. You weren't exactly in the mood for getting manhandled in this current moment, but here you were. "Joel- hey, hey, it's just me. You're okay." You spoke quick, trying to pry him off your hand.

It was now that his eyes had met yours, and it took him a moment (which felt like eternity) to process it was you. "Baby.." His grip immediately loosened and his eyes fell. He looked horrified, at himself rather than anything. "M'sorry." There was a tone in his voice that made him sound ashamed, like he had just broken bad news to someone he loved.

"Don't apologize to me, Jesus Christ." You spoke almost too fast and brought your hand to his face again, you felt bad for scaring him awake- your plan had massively backfired. It took Joel a minute before he melted into the touch of your hand in his cheek, something he will only do when it is only you and him around each other. "Shouldn't have been sleepin' while you weren't home." He muttered, his eyes looking everywhere but at yours.

Your heart ached, he shouldn't feel like this- fuck, you're so stupid for doing this you thought to yourself. "Don't apologize baby, hey-" You brought his focus to you, and only you, "-listen, you're alright, okay? We're safe here, you know. I'm safe, Ellie's safe, you're safe." You reassured the man in front of you. "If you want to sleep all day without a care in the world, you can do it."

Joel was being extremely vulnerable right now- and he knew that you sensed it. This part of him never came out, he was always the strong one in the relationship (not that you weren't, he just had that aura linked to him). Your finger rubbed back and forth over his cheek. "M'sorry for waking you from your nap- I was just too jealous of how peaceful you looked. All comfortable in your blue sweater.." your eyes started to trail down his body right in front of you, "-your sweatpants.." you snapped yourself out of the trance you had fallen in, your eyes reaching back up to Joel's.

He was just quiet, in his own thoughts. "Ya'know I love you." you told him. He looked like he snapped out of his own thoughts once you said this to him, the smallest smile known to man appearing on his face (it was genuine, though). "I know, darlin'." This was your cue, you reached forward and placed your lips onto Joel's. Now this, this was home- god, you could've had your lips on his all day for eternity. Joel melted into the kiss, and placed one of his hands on your thighs.

Things had got heated between the two of you within seconds, suddenly the positions were switched and you were straddling Joel on the armchair in your living room. It wasn't until you tore apart from his lips that it hit you. "Ellie’s going to be home soon, baby. We can't have her catching us like this- not again." You tell him as you catch your breath. His lips find your neck, he only hummed in response. After a moment of no proper response from him, you tap his shoulder, "Seriously, Joel!". He had grunted, basically forcing himself off of you. "So let her see us, not like she don't know 'bout it." He muttered, leaning back in the chair you two were in. "Oh, suddenly you're mister PDA?" You asked as you got up, stretching.

He said something under his breath that you couldn't catch, but chose not to pressure him about it. "But hey.." You grab his hand and help him up, "Maybe you could help me in the shower, hm? Let me borrow some o' that good smellin' shampoo ya' got? Wash my hair for me?” Your eyes met his, a smile completely lighting up your entire face. "I'on mind, doll. Maybe you could help me with a few things too," He reaches down, pressing a wet kiss onto your lips.

You take this as the perfect time to slip your fingers between his, and lead him up to the second floor of your large house. Even though you had completely scared the shit out of Joel earlier, and you thought you were a dead man for a split second, he forgave you. He always forgives you - this is why you love him.

Joel had promised you that he would always stay, no matter what had happened between you two. After years of being together, through your ups and your downs, through your serious arguments and your little scares (like this), he was yours. Joel was always yours, and you were always his.

You two come laughing down the stairs, completely soaked from the shower you had taken together. Joel was back in the clothes he wore when you got home, and you were changed into one of his shirts and a pair of sleeping shorts you had. He had his hand in yours as you lead him down the stairs. Before you could even step foot on the first floor, an "ew!" was yelled by a familiar voice.

"That is fucking disgusting- I cannot believe it! I can't leave you two together for more than thirty minutes before you turn into fucking rabbits. I may as well start thinking about names for the baby!" Ellie over exaggerates, acting completely disgusted from you and Joel holding hands.

Joel shoots Ellie a death glare as he drops his hand from yours momentarily, about to open his mouth before you interrupt. "Do I need to send you to your room, or something? You're so fucking crazy Elle!" You had let the little nick name slip out of your mouth, "You know I would never do anything unholy under the same roof as you." Well, you weren't lying. You and Joel never did it while Ellie was there, you didn't want anyone hearing what happened while you two were alone.

"Don't care, that's gross! Dinner is already made, I am GOING TO BED!" She had yelled as she was already half way up the stairs to her room on the second floor. Joel's hand snaked around your waist from behind as you tsk. "We got stuck with the most batshit crazy kid, I'm telling you."

Joel's hand tightens a smudge when you say that, "I love her though, and you I guess." He rests his head between the crook of your neck and slightly lets go once you add that. Even after the little bicker between the teenager, you couldn't help but smile to yourself.

Even though you were in the midst of an apocalypse, life couldn't have been anymore good to you. They gave you Joel, and you were content - more than content - with it.

—

when you wash your hair, matt maltese

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel tlou #tlou #tlou2 #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ell #ellie the last of us #joel the last of us #joel miller the last of us #ellie williams the last of us #joel x you #joel x reader #x reader #gn reader #chasedbyatlantic #joel #miller #the last of us

[spookykoolkat]

the red j.m. | chapter five

CHAPTER FIVE: FORFEIT

series masterlist | main masterlist | previous chapter |

pairings: older!joel miller x plus sized!younger!reader

chapter summary: joel has been acting colder than usual towards you since your encounter in his living room, and when it turns out that tommy paired you up with joel for a last minute adventure on your first day of patrol rounds, you were infuriated.

warnings: 18+ age gap (joel is 57, reader is turning 26), inappropriate thoughts, sexual language, teasing, touching, x-rated descriptions, crude language, mean!joel, mean!reader, mentions of past su*cide attempt, brief mentions of breeding, dacryphilia, cockwarming, p in v, oral. descriptions of sex acts, explicit. MDNI!!! minors r not welcome on my page

wc: 7.6k

na: the smut will be coming soon i promise. lioterally next chapter. I TOLD YOU IT WAS SLOW BURN! but omg i think this is one of my fav chapters lol

MONDAY DECEMBER 23RD, 2024

YOU

the weekend was dreadful. naively, you believed somehow it was a miracle that joel gave you the attention he did on saturday night. no, you just realized it was something he strongly regretted. sunday morning, he woke up without a sound and left as swiftly as he could. 

he was avoiding you. 

it was so bizzare to you. everything happened so fast and life became as domesticated as it could be for you in this world.  you were living with a man and a girl, and now there’s an odd sexual tension between the two of you that you were possibly misreading. it was inevitable, you were deathly attracted to this man. joel miller. 

it’s like somehow being around him and ellie almost healed a part of yourself, you didn’t know what but you felt you could be yourself again. honestly, being in jackson sort of healed a part of you. you were finally getting the chance of finding yourself, finally figuring out what being you meant and who you are, and it was because you were here in jackson. because you actually had two people in your life that you could actually try to begin to trust.

but that doesn’t mean he never pissed you off. and it doesn’t mean that he was never an asshole. 

it was four thirty in the morning when he slammed the door shut on his way out, and forced you to get up and grab all your shit for your first patrol shift. it was supposed to be from six in the morning to eleven in the morning, giving you the first shift of the day. you noticed joel had been taking nights with tommy occasionally, leaving at six in the evening and coming back close to one in the morning. 

he chose to be on the lookout longer, searching longer, doing more than he needed. he was thorough, and for that you respected him. besides his hostile attitude, he was a natural hunter, killer, forager. of course, you could only assume. you hadn’t seen him in action the way ellie and tommy have.

tommy told you to meet him at his house on your first day, and you complied. you were expecting to see tyler standing with tommy outside of his house when you walked up, but this man was not tyler. the thick coat he wore would’ve made it impossible to figure out who it was, had you not seen that coat before. but it was in fact the coat you brought home for him after a shift down at the local buy and trade shop, something you picked up because it was in his size and you knew with the torn hoodies and sweaters he had, none would suffice to keep him safe when he’s out in the cold.

this was the man that made you clench your thighs when he was angry with you, the man who saw you as vulnerable as you were that night, the man who spoke nothing but dirty things in your ear then left you high and dry, ignoring you even as your footsteps crunch in the snow.

“where’s tyler?” you said loudly over the heavy winds and snow, getting closer to the broad figure. it was the man you’ve thought about since saturday night, the man that ignored you even now. 

“me and maria decided you needed an expert ‘stead of a rookie, but since maria is pregnant i wanted to stay, so i put ya with the second best of jackson,” he said clamping down on his brother’s shoulder, “my big brother,” his smile was way too big for this early in the morning, and you internally rolled your eyes. 

“i don’t need an expert, i’ve been out there by myself for years. i can handle myself,” you spit sourly. even joel felt it slash through him a bit, the pure disgust on your voice wasn’t easy to fake and a part of him felt bad. but he knew what he was doing and why he was doing it. 

tommy looked between you two, facing opposite from each other. “just precaution, don’t need ya gettin’ lost.” you could tell tommy felt some sort of sympathy for you, understanding how cruel his brother could truly be.

you scoffed. maybe tommy did feel bad for you, but if he did you wished he would keep the faces he makes to himself. you didn’t need pity. you needed to not be stuck with joel for a couple of hours.

just great.  “i need y’all to search this abandoned town a few cities back, ain’t that far, maybe two hundred, two fifty miles west. figure’s it’d be better takin’ the horses,”  so not a couple of hours.

tommy practically gives the two of you a list, a list of things that he and maria needed, and places to search for the infected. 

“we need soap, and medical shit like gloves, anythin’ works,” he said and you nodded. this seemed a little less like patrolling and more doing duties for him. maybe it was both, but you were a little disappointed. 

“baby steps, a’right?” tommy said, sensing the disappointment on your face and rubbing your arm to warm you up a bit. 

“joel’s got you,” 

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

oh it was torture. you and joel would be on this mission for two days. this wasn’t patrol, this was a favor. this was a job taken on by those who weren’t fighters, but could protect themselves. the people who scavenged abandoned towns, homes, cities near jackson to see if it’s worth expanding or if there’s anything they would take. but this wasn’t what you wanted to do, you didn’t want the soft version of what joel did. 

whether you wanted to or not, you worried that he didn’t look at you as capable since the first time he met you you were lying face down in blood soaked snow that formed into a ring around your body. not only that, but when you finally awoke, you tried to take your own life in front of him. you couldn’t blame him if he thought that way, it just made you more weary about your strength and if he would be right to think that way. 

you were desperate to prove yourself to him, for no particular reason. you just wanted him to see that you didn’t need him like he thought you did. 

“where are we gonna sleep?” you asked as the click clack of the horses began to pick up. you rode right next to him, following his lead with the map. 

“wherever we can,” he muttered, unhappily might you add. 

“i mean, what are we doing joel? this is not me patrolling,” you argued to yourself, and he sighed loudly as he looked back down at the map. 

“no, it ain’t. but it’s a taste. stop tryin’ to kill yourself,” he spit and you closed your mouth quickly. you were actually a little offended. he actually got you to shut up, and it felt like shit. 

because he was right. you jumped into everything so fast, getting yourself hurt when you told yourself it’d never happen. so, you just shut up and listened to him when he told you where to go. you didn’t want to fight with him because really, you couldn’t take it. you’d want him to take you with the fury in his eyes. maybe you were mentally deranged for being so distracted by him lately, figuring out that everything about him sends you into a frenzy. this was ridiculous, you were ridiculous. 

you know it’s wrong. but joel made you feel something that nobody else has. he challenged you. he wanted you to snap back at him and bark your insults at him. he may not admit it, but he liked that you had something to say to everything. your attraction was only growing for him, and you were ashamed of it. the man won’t even look at you and you’re ready to open your legs from one glance? 

the sun was rising at this point, passing empty farms and abandoned shacks while joel inspected the map tommy gave him. he was frustrated, you could clearly tell through his grunts and swear words that he spilled. so far, it’s been clean. no infected, no people, nothing but emptiness and nature covered in snow. your gun was still in your hand, ready to aim and shoot but for now you just watched joel. 

he refused to ask for your help because he felt like he was lost. maybe it was his sight, but he truly thought that he mistook a walking trail for a road, derailing the two of you. he was a proud man, and was embarrassed to ask help from a twenty something year old.

he refused to be the one needing help on this globetrotting the two of you did. 

“joel?” you talked for the first time in two hours, and he shot you a glance over his shoulder, you riding a little behind him now. 

“what?” he grumbled, and you sped up to catch up to him. his heart picked up when he heard you so close. 

“are we lost?” 

it was hard for him to be angry with you when your voice fell so soft for him. he noticed the way you spoke to people you didn’t like, or didn’t care for. bored, short and cold. just like him. but even when you didn’t notice, he heard the gentle tone you used with him. maybe it’s because you’re a live fucking wire who kills everyone you ever loved and she knows you’ll blow up on her too.

“no, just-” he stalled and you followed as he flipped the map around, acting like that will solve the issue. you quickly reach over to snatch the map from him, shaking your head and not listening to his noise when you start reading the lines. 

“just stop,” you said and halted your movements. you moved the map around and found your location now, and the circled location on the paper. joel watched you with frustration and embarrassment, but you wouldn’t know. you weren’t the best at picking up social cues. 

“just go straight. it should take you to a road, and turn right then.” you answered, shoving the paper back into his hands and continuing your journey. you waited for him to ride off first so you could trail a little bit behind him, and he did, not giving you a second glance.

it was one hour, then it was two, and then it was three. three turned to five, and finally a break was taken. joel wanted to go as much as he could before he needed a rest, to take a piss, relax his joints. you, on the other hand, wanted to keep going. 

“get there to and back faster if we keep going, just wasting time.” you mumbled to him as you leaned against a tree while he came back around from one, adjusting his coat. the two of you stopped in the middle of the woods that you were forced to cross through, snow falling slower now. the trees were still, and as was the shallow river nearby. 

“do you ever stop complaining?” he finally spoke, but nothing but annoyance dripped from his words as he leaned against another tree, collecting himself. 

“only when i don’t have shit to complain about,” you bit back, rolling your eyes as you watched the stream of water rush. 

“you don’t have shit to complain about,” he argued and you scoffed. 

“alright joel. just, let’s go. the sooner we’re there the faster i can get the fuck away from you.”

“we live together,” he said matter of factly. 

“no shit joel, oh my god, can we just go?” you were so fucking irritated with him. the only thing that came out of his mouth to talk to was to just piss you off even more. he acted like he wasn’t practically breathing down your neck not even three days ago. 

“you’re so damn irritating,” he mumbled as he gathered his things from the snow and swung his backpack over his shoulders, along with his rifle. 

“oh, yeah, right because you’re a real fuckin’ joy to be around.” you spit. you quickly left without him, being much quicker on your feet than he was, and got to your horse before he did. 

“don’t do that shit again, “ he spit at you when he reached his horse. of course, referring to the fact that you went off without him. joel was, needless to say, pissed off. and of course, again, you seem to be the root of his anger. you couldn’t lie, and you fought hard to keep the smile from creeping on your face at your realization. you actually enjoyed when he was angry  because of you. you felt strong enough to have that power over him, at least some sort of power. you just knew how to press his buttons, and he knew how to press yours. 

but just as you took joy in pissing you off, he enjoyed to watch you bite back and get equally as angry as he does because of you.

“it was fifteen feet joel. I know what i’m doing.” 

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

it was nightfall when you got to the small town outside of jackson. tommy was off by fifty miles or so. so far, still not running into anything that could kill either of you. taking the horses cut down the travel time by half had the two of you walked, and suddenly you were grateful because joel still won’t talk to you after the little spat in the woods.

it was bothering you an insane amount. you had no problem being unwanted and unwelcome, but this was excruciating for you. you just wanted to knock him off his horse and force him to be nice to you. 

you were behind joel, a little off to his right when you rode further into the eerie town. 

it wasn’t until you and joel stopped in front of a supermarket, tying the horses to nearby trees. the two of you walked into an abandoned supermarket that greeted the entrance of the city, stepping over the frame of the automatic doors that were broken. and as reckless as you were, you just so happened to step on the broken glass of the automatic doors that crunched under your boot. joel shot you an angry look, in a way that says ‘way to fucking go, smart one,’ when the snarling came from the back of the supermarket and you shot one right back. you start to see the pale figures running towards the two of you down the aisle in front of you. 

you and joel hadn’t shared a word since you helped him with the map, so when he tells you to get behind him you don’t listen. you hear angry words, but you don’t listen. a part of you was still angry even when your very life was being threatened, it was true that maybe you held grudges for way too long. you weren’t paying attention to him, you fell into fight or flight and moved to the side of joel and around the cash registers to shoot bullets at two of the angry bodies running at you full speed. 

the thing is, you didn’t want him to have to save you. you didn’t want him to have something to shove in your face later on, a debt you had to repay to him. you also didn’t need him to survive, you didn’t need his protection. even if you wanted it. you knew he might just throw it in your face one day.

joel was distracted, and caught off guard. of any time he could be distracted he chose now, too distracted by the way you quickly maneuvered around him without even noticing. too distracted by the way you just proved you could handle yourself, and then some. and too angry that you never listened to him.

and his stillness was because joel felt the same anxiety, the same nervousness he felt seeing you hold a gun to your own head, and actually felt his chest grow tight. he just froze. this wasn’t like joel, he was always on his toes, eager for bloodshed. but now, it’s pure fear and anxiety. you saw it when you finally noticed the clicker that was close enough to take him apart, and wondered why he wasn’t shooting and instead gripping at his chest. you called his name out, getting his attention and the clicker, raising your gun you shoot three times to watch the clicker drop to the floor.

“what the fuck joel?” you hushed as you tried to breathe normally again, trying to make sure there weren’t any more infected either on the way or here in the store. 

“are you okay?” 

“you didn’t listen to me, goddamnit,” he spit and quickly ransacked the store for whatever he saw on the list. you felt your head spin. was he mad at me? you thought.

“joel are you okay? that was, that wasn’t,” you didn’t know how to say it without making him look weak, ignoring the anger that took over his body. you didn’t even care about the tone and how enraged he sounded, you were worried about him. 

“stop talkin’ and keep watch.” he was so sharp, so cold. 

you sighed and kept watch like he said, walking around the front entryway as joel rushed to grab what was there. you were sure that the sound of the gunshots would’ve sent a plethora of clickers your way, but it was nothing but the sound of wind. 

you were just so angry at him. his very existence and the fact that he still treated you like you were hardly there, it sent a certain rage to your body. you didn’t understand how this was your fault. how anything was your fault.

you had no choice but to follow him, so when he pushed past you with a fuller backpack you followed his lead. you could feel the heat coming from his body as he walked by you, and you knew he was angry. you tried to rack your brain what for. you just basically saved his life. 

he was angry that he just proved again that he failed you. he got lost on the way here because he couldn’t see, and felt a sudden rush of fear hit him all at once. he was weaker, weaker than he’d been when he was traveling with ellie.

it wasn’t long before the two of you rode  into a neighborhood and found streets of abandoned houses, cars still in driveways and swing sets still in the front yard. it was so eerie, creepy. this was somewhere people lived, created families here. now it’s a ghost town. it was nothing. 

after the two of you tie up the horses again, he finally speaks.

“we’re gonna check all these houses, and sleep in one. listen to me for fuckin’ once and stop acting like a fuckin’ kid. come back here if shit goes south.” he demanded ugly, and you glared at him, actually taken aback. 

“you know what joel-” you started but he waved you off. 

“go.” 

you were angry. god were you so angry. looking through house after house, floor after floor, room after room and all you could think about was telling joel off. you occasionally found something tommy and maria were looking for, batteries, a bottle of soap here and there, gloves, alcohol. but, you took everything after you made sure the coast was clear. 

it might’ve taken you and joel about three hours to check every house on the block, some being too destroyed and in ruins to even search through. you looked at the watch on your wrist and the time flashed 12:56AM. and you were still angry. not only were you angry, but you were very much sexually frustrated.

how dare he act like that one night and act like i dont exist the next? you were fuming.. 

joel waited for you as you walked back to the first house on the street where you split up, and as he watched you walk towards him he noticed a scowl on your face. anger in your eyes and irritation, but he didn’t care. 

“nothing. i’m going to bed, goodnight.” you spit, telling him there were no threats and no harm. you walked into the small house and went into the back rooms to look for a bed, finding one bed and couches in the living room. when you walked back to the living room, joel was already standing inside. 

“you need to listen to me when i tell-” he began but you groaned and threw your backpack on the floor, taking your gun to put it in between the cushion of the couch where you plan to sleep. 

“no joel, i’m not doing this shit with you. i’m capable, alright? you’re so fuckin’ angry at me for no reason and want me to just let you take it out on me,” you said loud enough for it to be taken as hostile.

“what the fuck happened? you didn’t,” you breathed, “you didn’t shoot or anything you just froze joel, what’s wrong with you?” your voice was rising, heat rising to your face and you just stared at him. 

“you’re gonna get us fuckin’ killed, you’re just a fuckin’ brat.” he spit at you, and you scoffed. 

“yeah okay joel, i’m a brat. i don’t know shit, i’m just a little stupid girl that doesn’t know shit, right? keep deflecting, keep saying nothing’s wrong when you look like you were having a heart attack,” you say, “you know you’re one to talk, you’re fuckin’ childish you know that?” 

“i’m childish?” he asked, surprised. deflecting. 

“really? that’s what you have to say? nothing about the fact you almost died?” 

“yes you’re childish. you come onto me, and can’t even face me after it. you’re angry at me and for what? didn’t talk to me this whole way and why? cause you regret it? man the fuck up joel, i don’t care if we talk or not but what a fucking partner you’ve been. aren’t you the one supposed to keep me safe? not the other way around?” 

he didn’t respond. you just saw his eyes go dark as you threw pillows off the couch for more room. he knew you were right, and you didn’t want to argue with joel right now. not when you had another day to spend with him, and having to go back home with him. but you were still so angry, at the audacity he had to call you a kid earlier. to act like you were the problem, you couldn’t help it.

“I act like a kid? please,” you scoffed even louder, “I saved your fuckin’ ass back there, really you should be kissing my fucking toes. you have some nerve, man. you might scare everyone, even your brother, but you’ll never fuckin’ scare me. you’re crazy if you think you do.” you laughed genuinely, shaking your head to rid yourself of the redness in your cheeks from your rage. and before you stopped going in on him, you had to top it with the cherry.

“maybe if you weren’t such a prick all of the time, ellie would actually want to spend time with you.” 

“shut the fuck up,” he seethed and you laughed again. that might’ve not been the best idea, but you weren’t know to have the best ideas. his fists were clenched at his side as he stepped closer to where you stood, you just waved him off.

but he knows who his anger is really directed at. he couldn’t be angry at you, well he could, but not forever, he knows. he was angry at himself, angry that you had to risk yourself to save him. angry that you had to do anything for him actually. he was supposed to be your protector here, and now you were his? he felt weak. he felt, almost useless. if you can protect yourself and him, you would never need him then. he was angry at how right you are, and how right you’ve been. 

“i don’t regret it,” he said as you sat on the couch with your back facing him. 

you sat in silence for a bit before you responded, wanting to make sure you heard right. 

“what?” you asked, turning to face him. 

“i don’t regret it.” 

you truly didn’t know what to do. you didn’t know if making a move was the right move, and you felt like you were going to do something you regretted.

you stood up again, and walked to stand in front of him. you needed to see him, to watch him as he watched you. 

“you don’t regret what, joel? touching me?” you asked, getting another not so smart idea. maybe one that would flip the entire dynamic of this bond you had. “then touch me, joel.” 

he was taken aback more than you thought, and you saw the internal fight he put up with himself as he looked over your face and body. 

“i can’t do that, sweetheart.” was he really denying you right now? asking him to finally touch you and he says no? 

“why not?” you said, reaching for his shirt. you didn’t care anymore. your anger was turning  into desire for every minute you were alone with him, and you wanted him to take you in this abandoned house more than anything. maybe it was pathetic, but you couldn’t help the wetness that was pooling in your panties from his soft glare.

“i’ma mean old man, you don’t want me to touch you, don’t think i’d be too nice with ya,” he said with fake confidence. he wanted it so bad, he wanted to let you take his hands and put them anywhere he wanted. and even in your black hoodie that zipped up with your tight jeans on, he wanted to feel every inch of you. he wanted to believe he was doing the right thing by saying no you, but fuck it did not feel right to him. what would feel right is if he was buried in that cunt of yours for as long as he wanted.

“nice? you’re never nice, actually you’re jackson’s biggest asshole, but i was never expecting nice from you. i’ve wanted,,” you breathe and let your palms rest on his warm stomach, the small pouch he put on while he was finally eating meals under your touch. he was so warm underneath, knitting your eyebrows together in irritation when you realized he could’ve been keeping you from freezing all night. you didn’t care if he was nice to you anymore. you could handle mean, roughness, you could handle anything he wanted to give you.

“you’ve wanted what? talk to me, sweet girl,” he whispered, giving in to your needy tone, taking his fingers and grabbing your chin to look at him, his eyes. god his eyes. the wrinkles around them creased with every facial movement, usually his eyes were a brown, hazelish glaze but now they’re pitch black. something else in his stare. desire and lust. he couldn’t help but indulge himself when he heard you wanted something from him. because he wanted to give you everything. 

you weren’t angry anymore. you were in admiration. you were enjoying being this close to him to see every detail and line and crevice on his face. you wanted to rub his cheeks, feel his skin under yours, but you couldn’t let go of the coat he had on.

“i’ve wanted you to make me feel good. but, you’re just so fucking angry all of the time it’s like you hate me. so i hate you more.” you rolled your eyes at him and he just stared at you. 

he was soaking your words in. his thumb was rubbing over your chin, too close to your lips when you avoided his gaze. even now, you were still spewing your snarkiness at him and all he wanted you to do was beg him to make you feel good. but even being a brat, you looked so fucking pretty to him. eyes wide, mouth parted, your hands rubbing over his chest and abdomen—he needed your touch everywhere. he knew you could only be a brat for so long with the way you were leaning into his touch.

he was cracking, and so were you. 

“i could never hate you, doll. could never tell a pretty girl like you no, ya fuckin’ kill me,” he softly chuckled, leaning into your face close enough to feel his breath on your lips. his hands move from your chin, slapping himself for taking back his word, and letting them fall on your wide hips.

“jus’ always so eager, ain’t that right? bloodthirsty little thing you are,” he teased, referring to the way you looked almost excited  to pull your gun out and use it earlier. he liked it, and in his mind he felt like he was the only one who could tame you. the only man that could be man enough to handle all of you the way you deserved. tyler would never be able to pick you up and throw you face down on the bed, he’d never be able to even touch your pretty pussy the way she deserved. 

his lips grazed the skin of your neck, and you felt something wet glide across the salty skin. his tongue was eager to taste you, so substituting your pussy for your neck was his best choice. if you weren’t already wet, you were now. 

“joel, just, god you’re so fucking frustrating,” you grunted as you curled your fists into his sweater. your wetness was soaking your panties at this point and the throbbing of your clit was making you frustrated.

he just chuckled. “what do ya want baby,” he breathed, now dangerously close to your lips after he trailed small kisses from your neck to your cheek.

you didn’t really know what you wanted now that he asked, and really you were too damn nervous to say the words. i want you to fill me up. pump me full with your cum. tell me i’m yours and you’re mine. what if you scared him off with that? what if you said it out loud and it made everything so much more real? not just touching and flirting? it was too much to ask for. to even ask for anything from him, you felt like a burden. 

“fuck you joel,” you breathed and whimpered, “you know what i want, just fuck me already, or are you too old to take me how i want?” you were desperate for him even if you were being mean about it, and he was loving every minute of it.

you needed him, his cock, his fingers, his tongue inside of you. and you saw how your neediness made him smug, his anger dissipating into nothing but adoration for you. he lightly tapped your ass at your old man remark, and narrowed his eyes at you, but relaxing them again when he saw a long overdue smile on your lips. 

“fuuuuuck,” he drew out with his southern accent, “why are you so fuckin’ hard to say no to when you’re such a pain in my ass?” he asked himself. you felt him grow hard against your abdomen as you clenched your thighs and pulled him tighter to your chest. you needed the friction, but you needed it somewhere only he could give it to you. 

“because i’m askin’ so nicely?” you suggested playfully, distracting yourself from the burning in your core. he practically smiled against your lips. 

“that was nice?” he asked and you hit his chest playfully. 

“i can’t do this with you, it just ain’t right,” he tried to resist again.

“you don’t seem like a man who does the right thing, joel.”  you said smartly and he rolled his eyes at you before sighing. 

“don’t fuckin’ do that, don’t try t’ guilt trip me. you’re fuckin’ trouble.” he’s saying it roughly, but the hard on he has pressing into you says otherwise. before you could take your hands to his cock, he’s grabbing them to remove them and pushing back from you, retracting himself. his self control was thinning, he wouldn’t be able to resist you if he was standing that close to you for another second. 

“you’re an asshole, y’know that?” you said sharply, moving yourself away from him with the sting of rejection on your heart. you turn on your heels and start to walk away from him, wanting to escape to the dirty bathroom. 

“it ain’t like that and you know it,” he defended from behind you and you shook your head. 

“yeah i can tell! let me see, you make me tell you how i want to fuck you and call me baby and sweetheart and all this bullshit, then you tell me you want to do the right thing.” you paused and looked at him, “you get upset because i almost fucked someone, put your hands down my panties, and the next day you hate me. then you’re always fuckin’ mad at me, and then say i’m tryna guilt trip you into fucking me,” 

“i mean what the hell joel. all you have t’ say is you don’t want me and we can fuckin’ leave it at that,” you spit and turned around. he just stared at you still with a hard look on his face, but something on his face that reads he isn’t exactly upset at you.

the silence thickens and a minute after a stare down between the two of you, he looked away. the switch that he had flipped so quick, and you’ve seen it before. how could he act so normal when he was throbbing in his jeans and you were staining your panties wet?

he kind of thought you were going to look away first, but now that you were so angry with him he could use it as a way to keep his distance. he knew exactly what he was doing. he was white fanging you. and he was doing it successfully. 

“goodnight.” he said quickly without looking at you, and he walked past you to the back hall. you were turning back to sit on the couch as he took the bed until he came back out with all of his things in his arms. 

“take the bed.” he ordered and you huffed. 

“i’m fine out here,” you argued. 

“take the bed.” he wasn’t budging.

so you gathered your things and huffed away to the bed, still thinking about the way he spoke to you when you decided to just leave your shoes on and sleep. you thought about why he’d trade you for the bed, it being this comfortable you figured he’d take it for himself. he was an old man, looking for comfort in anything he could.

you wondered why after all this he was still insistent on doing the right thing. you felt like doing the right thing was out of the question already with the way he spoke so crudely to you. you knew he wanted you too, you knew he was fighting himself to not touch you how he wanted. 

but he had that instinct. the people he cared about before him. always. he couldn’t let himself delve into the possibilities of what would happen if he did do exactly what you wanted. he knew he was no good for you even if you tried to put this image of being a tainted person up. he knew that though you might think the two if you are similar, that he was far worse than you thought. 

he couldn’t compete with the idea you created of him, that he was this holy protector that did everything to keep his loved ones safe. while he did protect, he was also taking. he could take no credit of the hero title, he never felt like one. to protect his family, he tore people’s families apart. 

he didn’t know how, or when, but he knew he was going to hurt you if he let himself be smitten by you. he was going to make you really hate him if he gave into you, if he let you control him the way he feels like you do. he couldn’t let it happen. not tonight. 

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

DECEMBER 24TH, 2024

joel was right when he said you’d be home by nightfall had the two of you left before sunrise. the two of you were back before midnight after awkwardly gearing up and leaving promptly at four in the morning. it gave you time to explore the surprisingly empty city, yet still managed to have most of what tommy and maria needed. 

to occupy your mind from joel’s eyes burning holes into your back as you took the responsibility of holding the map, you thought about what could’ve happened to that small town. it was eerily empty. something about being there made you feel like your stomach was churning, like someone was watching you. 

you wanted to bring it up to tommy and maria when you met back with them that night, and even bring it up to joel when the two of you finally settled back into the house you hadn’t been in. but no words were spoken again, leaving an uncomfortable silence between you two that ellie noticed. 

it was just the two of you once again in an empty house as ellie left to spend the night at a friend's house again. joel told her this time to tell someone before she leaves, if she left. 

the clock struck twelve in the morning the minute the door slammed behind you, and without saying a word you trudged  upstairs with a sigh and slammed your bedroom door. it felt childish, but that’s what this whole thing was. 

you were throwing a fit that he wasn’t even acknowledging you unless he had to, yet you didn’t even know if you fully wanted him in the way you thought you did. the thought of having a companion, in this hypothetical situation let it be joel, and having someone that close to you again scared the shit out of you. 

you’ve always had commitment issues. always had a fear that you’d duck and run before something bad could happen between the two of you. some people call it self sabotage. 

you threw all of your gear sloppily in the closet that was on the same wall as your door and rummaged through the suitcase to grab a pair of panties and a shirt. you needed a shower, and you were desperate to just lay your clean head against a pillow and black out. you couldn’t bring yourself to think of joel anymore, and as you mindlessly walked to the bathroom that was on the second floor you heard the door to the bathroom open.

unfortunately, it opened right as you were grabbing the knob and before getting the chance to look up at the familiar scented man after the door swung open, the hand that gripped his towel around his waist unclenched. 

you didn’t know if it was your surprising appearance that caught him off guard, or the fact that he didn’t expect anyone to be there in general, but he stilled and his hand involuntarily flexed, dropping the plush towel from his hips. joel felt the breeze before he even realized his fingers let it slip, but still kept his eyes on you. 

you were staring. you knew you were staring, of course you knew you were staring, but you couldn’t give a shit. he was hard. you saw the throbbing immediately, the way it jerked and hit his abdomen when the towel dropped, how disgustingly big he was compared to anything you’ve seen. realistically as you practically drooled over his cock, you thought it was eight inches max, but the girth somehow made it look more swollen, more to take.

if you were any other random woman he was housing for the time being, he would’ve immediately picked up the towel to cover and excuse himself as he scurried embarrassingly to his room. if you had been any other woman that had tried to throw advances at him and purposely tried to see him in the shower, he would’ve hated the look you were giving him. 

he wanted to hate it even more because it was you, but fuck do you look so sexy and you made him feel sexy. it wasn’t often he felt desired since he was an older man, and now that you’ve given him a lick of it, he was addicted to how you were put into an immediate trance. you were looking at all of him in all of his glory. and with your help. joel had been jacking off in the shower before he got out, stroking his angry tip to the thought of putting it between your lips. 

he was going to allow himself to indulge just that one time. he promised himself. but he wasn’t a good person. he wasn’t a good, honest man. he was a liar, and a sweet talker, someone who knew the power of persuasion. he could have you if he wanted to, could’ve had you on your knees in the shower for him while he rubbed a thumb over your cheek. 

he knew what he was capable and yet, he settled for fucking his hand thinking of your cunt. but the good man in him, the honest man in him was pleading to escape. plotting his escape.

you couldn’t stop gawking at his cock. it was peppered with long veins, one specific one trailing down from the tip to the base of his cock, and you could actually see the precum dripping down his angry, throbbing tip.

to him, you stared as if he was the last man on earth. and he enjoyed the attention so much he wanted to show you just exactly how much he appreciated the way you desired him.

it took self restraint from dropping to your knees right now, to feel his tip hit the back of your throat so he can shove his way into the tight walls of your throat. you imagined the noises he made, how he would talk to you, how he’d praise you. you craved it now. 

you were in awe, maybe even a little scared. all of your fantasies and imaginations finally had something to base off of, and now that you saw how girthy and long he was, you were intimidated. there’s no way he’s that big. god, he’s almost 60!

finally, after what seemed like an hour but really was just a minute or two, you closed your eyes shut and cringed at how you must’ve looked, how obvious you liked seeing him like this. and how smug joel must look with how easy it is to get you to surrender yourself to him.

you memorized the way he looked though. the dark curls that gathered at the base of his cock, trailing up to his stomach before thinning out right below his belly button and the little straight line of sparse hair trailing up his stomach a bit. the way his thighs looked so thick and strong, perfect for you to take a seat if you wanted because you’d have no doubt about not hurting him with your weight, the way his rough hands clenched into fists at his sides and the way his stomach wasn’t the most toned but was firm and still wet, tan. 

you knew if there was any chance of being able to actually sleep with the man, it'd take some finessing to fit all of him in any of your holes. but even though the size was intimidating, you could just tell that the stretch he'd provide sliding inside of you would be everything you've ever wanted.

you wanted to feel his body under your fingers while you sunk onto him, watching him watch you. you needed him, and you couldn’t fucking understand why this desire and urge was coming out now. to feel so strongly about him that it frustrated you to tears, it was morbid because this was based on pure attraction.

he didn't know you, you didn't know him. not really.

you were inching closer and closer to your downfall with every look over of his body. but he was loving it.

“i’m, god, i’m sorry, i was just—shower, i needed to, wash uh,” you breathed as you opened your eyes again and looked away as he grabbed the towel from the ground. “just, you know. get clean, wash certain uhh–areas, and stuff.” 

joel was thoroughly amused. you actually managed to shift your eyes around to see that he was fully covered again and he was in fact grinning smugly at you. you’d never seen joel express any other emotion other than negative, and it sent heavy fluttering to your core and throughout the tendons of your thighs.

“‘s all good, honey,” his voice was hoarse, raspy and god did it make the slickness start to run down your cunt and into your panties. “go ahead,” 

joel slide between you and the door frame, breathing you in without shame and letting you feel him graze the cloth covered throbbing length against you, smiling to himself at your body’s reaction. 

you quickly shut the door without looking at him again, releasing a long breath that you had been holding. again. you were angry because he knew exactly what he was doing. he was torturing you, and took all the pleasure of doing so.

joel actually expected you to fold right there, in front of him while he was hard all because of you. he expected you to break and ask him why he’d been ignoring you, again, and tell him how you want him. he honestly expected more than just a stare from you, he couldn’t read your face exactly so he couldn’t tell if you enjoyed the view or not. 

but after your babbling and messing your words up, he knew it wouldn’t take much more to break you. suddenly, the urge to stay away from you so he wouldn’t bring harm to your life was overpowered by the urge to ruin you in every way possible all in one day. he wanted to see your hard shell crack because of him, before you cracked his. 

because whether joel wanted to admit it or not, he met his match with you. and god, he wanted to prove to you that maybe you weren’t as strong as you seemed. his sick, twisted mind wanted to see you crying for him, begging him, pleading for him to make you feel good. he wanted to see you break for him, he wanted to be the only one to see you fucked out for him. he accepted the fact that being away from you and not being able to touch you as he pleased wasn't going to last any longer.

he was just waiting for the right moment.

#plus size smut #chubby smut #plus size reader #joel miller #joel miller x plus sized reader #fat girls #smut #joel tlou #chubby #joel the last of us #tlou hbo #the last of us #joel x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfic #joel miller smut #the last of us hbo #joel miller x plus size reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller series #joel miller x female reader #joel miller tlou #joel and ellie #tlou fanfiction #tlou #tlou2 #plus size series #plus size representation #body positive #curvy

[wikiangela]

fav lines game

rules: share your favourite lines or paragraph you've written from one of your fics, posted or wip.

tagged by @lover-of-mine @bidisasterevankinard @diazsdimples @dangerpronebuddie @hippolotamus

so ofc suddenly I'm forgetting everything I've ever written lol but here's some of the most recent ones idk

from I wanna breathe you in

“Both.” Buck nods, so confident and sure in this. “I want- I want my family, my friends to know that I’m- that I’m bi.” he says, a smile splitting his face. He’s taken a minute to label himself, but when he found this one, it felt right. Bisexual. That’s what he is, that’s what feels like him, like Buck, like Evan. Like all the parts of himself that felt scattered and chaotic and weren’t making any sense are finally settled in the right place, glued together by this realization, by this one simple word – bisexual. The only person who knows so far is Maddie, and he wants to tell everyone else, wants them all to know, and wants to share how happy he is. Besides, he thinks she’s going to explode if she keeps it from Chimney any longer – and once Chim knows, well, even with the best intentions, he sucks at keeping secrets. He doesn’t want Tommy to be his secret. “And I want them to know you’re my boyfriend.” he adds confidently.

from I'm comin' back, don't let me go

He feels like every single action, just getting up, getting dressed, pouring a glass of water, getting something to eat, just anything takes much more effort than it should, than it used to. Living takes much more effort than it used to. Sometimes he thinks maybe it’d be better if he- He doesn’t want to die, not again, not really, but he can’t help thinking that he’d rather not be here. Not when he feels the way he feels. He doesn’t feel like himself, he’s just putting up a front, a Buck-shaped mask in front of people. He feels like a hollow, empty vessel. He just- he doesn’t want to be here.

from you can see it with the lights out (you are in love)

 It’s sweet and soft, and it makes Buck’s stomach flutter even more, but at the same time it feels like everything is finally as it should be, like relief, like coming home after a long trip, like taking a breath of fresh air after being in a smoke-filled burning building. It feels familiar, like home, like they’ve been doing this forever, like maybe they’ve been in love through multiple lifetimes, always finding their way to each other. It’s a ridiculous thought, a little bit, that he knows Eddie would fondly roll his eyes at and tell him there’s no such thing as past lives or fate. Buck believes what he believes, though. He feels like he’s loved Eddie for an eternity, and he’ll love him for another one, or a hundred, or a thousand eternities, as long as the world keeps turning, and if there’s anything after that, then even longer. He’s never been more sure of anything in his life.

also this from my most recent fic bc for some reason i just love this little moment haha - we don't know where this is going now (don't be afraid of heights, let me open your heart wide) 

“I know.” Evan chuckles, his gaze settling on Tommy’s. “I just- I really want to.” “Okay.” Tommy repeats, smiling, and waiting. It’s fine if Evan changes his mind, but this is his to initiate. Tommy will wait. He’d wait forever, is the thing, and it’s scary, with how short they know each other. “Okay.” Evan echoes, and then he’s grabbing Tommy’s chin, similar to how Tommy grabbed his during their first kiss. His thumb nestles into his cleft, and Tommy sees a flash of an endeared smile before Evan’s lips are on his, fingers not letting him go.

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck

@eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life

@diazpatcher @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @weewootruck @loveyouanyway

@spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks

@alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @giddyupbuck @tommykinards

@honestlydarkprincess @underwaterninja13 @exhuastedpigeon @911-on-abc @jesuisici33

@steadfastsaturnsrings @theotherbuckley @buddieswhvre @tizniz @daffi-990

@fortheloveofbuddie @hoodie-buck

#fav lines #fic snippet #wikiangela writes #bucktommy fic #911 fic #911 abc #my writing #911 fanfic #buddie fic

[citrusrei]

In Every Lifetime.

Joel Miller x Reader MDNI 18+ Summary You fell for a man before the world went to hell. Nearly 20 years later, he’s there again in a different lifetime. Genre: a lil angst if you look at it right, Smut, fluff TLOU!Universe Word Count: 10.7k Warnings: Post-Outbreak!Joel, aggressive situations, a couple of hasslers, smut (piv ~unprotected~, fingering, hand jobs, creampies (again), slight breeding kink maybe? vocal dirty joel, mutual masturbation), age gap (14 years, joel is older duhh) lots of good Ol’ soft Joel, slightly possessive joel (again cause i love him), insecure joel :( happy ending cause my heart couldn’t take a sad one  *please imagine whichever Joel you’d like whether it’s pedro’s or videogame joel cause I pictured both at certain points.*

AN: This is truly one of my fav things I’ve ever written lol Joel is so babygirl in it i’m crine. also this can be read as a one shot if u haven’t read the first one~ (but read the first one hehe)

pt. 1 

listen to these as you read~

Life after the apocalypse was nothing anyone could have anticipated. Before the outbreak, you’d seen countless movies about zombies or the undead, or infected. But this was different. It wasn’t a virus, or a bio-weapon used to control the population. A fungus. A fungus that just so happened to mutate and create this global panic. 

The night it happened you were with a friend of yours testing out a new club downtown. Everything was great. The drinks were cheap and tasty, the music was amazing, the vibe was just immaculate. You and your friend Holly danced, drank, and sang the night away. A little before 11:00pm is when things got strange. The music changed, slower now. Holly asked if you wanted another drink to which you declined, but followed her to the bar anyways.

“Another sex on the beach please!” she urged.

“You’re addicted to those, ya know?” You laughed, shaking your head.

She laughed with you, “I am not! They’re just so delicious I can’t help myself.”

As the bartender handed Holly her drink, you sent Joel a quick text asking him how his birthday was. You’d been taking things slow since the night you and him finally hooked up. He had admitted his feelings for you and you were right there with him. The both of you decided to give each other a shot. You had wanted to see him today but he had told you he was working a double and wouldn’t be home until late so you had planned something with him later in the week.  

- 10:45pm Joel <3: Got home a couple hours ago. Sarah wanted to watch a movie and knocked out. Lil girl can’t run with the big dogs.

- 10:45pm Me: lol hopefully she got to see at least a bit of it! Holly dragged me to this club tonight and I’m kind of over it. Would rather be in bed with you rn 😉

- 10:46pm Joel <3: You got no idea how much I'd like that bout now darlin. You got me all weekend.

- 10:46pm Me: You better promise me that, Joel Miller!

- 10:46pm Joel <3: Promise.  

- 10:49pm Joel <3: Tommy just called me. He’s in the county jail. I gotta go get him... text you in a bit.

- 10:51pm Me: You’re kidding...... jesus Tommy. But ok. Text me once you get him. Talk soon <3

You slid your phone into your bra and sighed, not surprised that Tommy found himself in a predicament like that. He was so headstrong and stubborn. You wondered what had happened to him. 

“Everything okay?” Holly asked. You nodded but still you were unsure. Your eyes floated to a couple on the dance floor as your eyebrows knitted together. The woman began to twitch, her limbs snapping in different, odd directions. It continued a moment. People around her began to notice and step away, creating a circle around her. The man she was with held on to her as an attempt to keep her steady. She fell to the ground, her body still moving slightly. As this happened, the man pulled his cellphone out, most likely trying to call 911. In the blink of an eye, she rose to her feet, jumping on to the man in front of her and sinking her teeth into his neck. It physically startled you as you latched onto Holly’s arm. “We need to leave.” You said, eyes never leaving the woman, the crowd now starting to panic. People dispersed in a matter of moments. You could see someone trying to pry the woman off the man who laid what looked to be lifeless on the ground. That person suffered the same fate. She was on him in an instant.

Holly looked around and realized what was going on before pushing you towards the door. Once outside, everyone was scrambling. And not just people from the club but the man across the street, locking his bail bond business up or people fleeing from a nearby diner a few doors down. It was mania. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you looked around a moment, not exactly sure where to go or what to do.  

C’mon, ___! We gotta get to my car!” You followed Holly down the street to where she had her car parked when suddenly a horde of people ran by, being chased by what seemed to be someone covered in blood. Mucous and viscera gargled from his mouth as the sounds echoed through the street. The man dove to an older woman in front of him and began his attack. Holly screamed at the event which cause the man to turn his attention to her. He swung his arm out for her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her forward. You leapt into action, grabbing her body and pulling her back to you with such force, you could feel her back pop.

“Come on, run!” You screamed. The two of you sprinted to her car, not even minding the fact that both your heels had broken off in the process. She started the ignition and sped off, driving anywhere besides here.    

“What the fuck is happening?!” She yelled, checking her rearview mirror to make sure no one was following.

“I’m not sure. I need to call Joel.” You pulled your phone out and dialed his number, but it went straight to voicemail. “Fuck!” You called a few more people, Tommy, your mom, your sister. No one answered.  

“I gotta get home, ___. My-My son... I left him with the babysitter.” Holly cried, tears flowing now as she thought of all the possibilities of what could be happening to her child.

“Okay- It’s okay. We’ll go get him.”      

You and Holly sped to her home, not minding the speed limit as literally no one was. You both got to her house without a hitch, thankfully. However, upon arriving you noticed the door was wide open. Holly’s eyes widened.

“Stay here. I’m going to go in.” She breathed, shaking so bad she could barely unbuckle her seatbelt.

You nodded, checking your phone again and seeing you had a missed call from Tommy. You called him back immediately. It rang once, “Tommy! Hello? Can you hear me?”

“___! I can hear you but barely.” He was staticky. The call was barely hanging on. “Where are you? Are you safe?”

Tears began to prick your eyes as he spoke, his voice comforting you. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m with Holly. We’re getting her son. What is happening? Are you with Joel? Is Sarah okay?”

Tommy sighed, “I’m not sure. It’s a mad house. Av-oid downtown bu-t drive west. We’re over that w-ay. I was with Joel and Sarah b-ut I got sep-arate-d. Meet us p-ast the theater o-n the west side, okay? I got to g-” Suddenly the call dropped, showing no signal. At the same time Holly ran out with her son RJ in her arms. She set him in the back seat and jumped into hers, her tires squealing as she backed out of her drive way. Just as she pulled out, the babysitter came running out of her front door, growling animalistically. Your eyes flashed from her to RJ, checking for any wounds which you found none. He was bawling, completely terrified.   

“Hey, Tommy said drive to the west side past the theater and we can meet them there!” You said, climbing into the back seat to comfort RJ. You cradled the 2-year-old and hushed his sobs. He clung to you for dear life as you rocked him back and forth. You drove just outside of Austin, avoiding the mobs of people. Many people had the same idea as you but the flow of traffic stayed decent, only stopping every so often. The three of you rode in silence until a blockade came into view. It looked like the military was stopping people and directing them east. The exact opposite of where you needed to go. As Holly pulled up to the officers, they signaled her to roll her window down.

“How many in the car?” he asked, shining his flashlight in the vehicle.

“Just us three.” She answered.

He nodded, typing something on a tablet he held, “Okay, head east 15 minutes from here. There’s a larger Military presence over there and they’re taking survivors. I’ll add 2 women and a child to the list so they know you are coming.”

“No-No, we need to head west! We have people we need to meet!” You said quickly. The officer scowled and shined his light back to you and RJ who had calmed down into sniffles.

“Sorry ma’am but you can only go east. West side of Austin is under lockdown and no one can leave or enter. You go east.” He finished, walking to the car behind us.

You set RJ down next to you, buckling him in before returning to the front seat. “We need to find Joel and Tommy. We can’t go East.”

Holly shook her head, turning her tear-soaked cheeks to you. “No, we’re going east. I have RJ to think of, ___. If Joel and Tommy are smart, they’re already there waiting for you.” You sighed, defeatedly. She was right. The Miller brothers were very resourceful. It was a possibility. Maybe they were already at the safe zone. Same with your family. You nodded, your heart twisting in your chest as you agreed with her and then you were off.

It was a 15-minute drive but you could see the lights and helicopters before you even got there. It was massive and there were hundreds of people and tents popped up everywhere. It would be forever before you found anyone. The officers let you all in, setting you and Holly into a medical tent with a few other people. RJ slept in his mother's arms as the Doctors and Soldiers came in and out of each tent. Your leg bounced with anxiety. You glanced around the tent and around the area in general. People sobbed and cried and yelled, asking where their loved ones were, or what was going on, and saying they wanted to go home. You couldn’t help but to agree. You wanted nothing more than to go home and go to sleep and wake up and have this all be dream. 

Some time passed before the fedra soldiers came back with water and blankets. They said they were transporting people to quarantine zones as soon as possible. You wanted to fight back and say you had people to find, but everyone was saying that. So you sat and obliged.  

Finally, the doctors made their way into your tent, checking on the other habitants first. They did a full body check on the young girl sitting on the cot. She was clean. Next was the mother, she didn’t speak any English. She cried to the doctor, “Por favor, doctor. No estoy enfermo. Quiero irme a la casa.” The doctor just looked at her, checking her body over anyways. She cried and cried and your heart broke for her. It made you sick. You wanted to go home too, desperately. You wanted your mom or your sister. Or Joel. The doctor finished his search and nodded to the soldier. The soldier came over to the woman and dragged her away. Her daughter screamed on the cot as they subdued her. You couldn’t look anymore, it hurt too much. You averted your gaze back to Holly and RJ who was awake now, rambling in her arms. She raised her hand to wipe the hair out of his eyes, and that’s when you saw it. Your eyes widened as you noticed the three scratch marks on her wrist.

         Present Day.                                                                                                    It was fall now. Mid-October. The cold decided to make an early appearance and you were thankful for the older couple you’d stumbled upon a few weeks ago. They’d stocked you up with a good amount of food and a thick winter coat. The old man had been saying it was going to be a Winter with a sharp bite and offered you the jacket. Who were you to deny an old man and his wisdom? They let you stay there a couple days. Maybe they had been too trusting. You could have easily killed them while they slept a few doors down from you. You’d even thought about it. They had plenty of food and a barn with a couple cows and chickens. You could just take it if you had really wanted to. You hated that those were thoughts you had. They were showing you such kindness and trust, hell, the older woman even baked you a pie. A fresh baked pie?! It had been probably 20 years since you’d had one of those.

The course of the last 20 years moved in a blur. From you being split from anyone you’d known and sent to a QZ in Illinois, to that said QZ being destroyed by fireflies only 5 years of being there. You’ve had to do horrible, heinous things to survive; which you hated yourself for. You searched and searched for anyone familiar. Someone you’d gone to school with, babysat, or maybe a neighbor. Anyone. And that never happened.

As you scrambled for a place to find shelter, dark storm clouds rolled in, bringing a late fall storm. The trees all shades of burnt sienna and burgundy as their leaves fell to the ground, leaving the smell of their decay lingering in the air. It was a comfort to you. You’d always been a fall type of person and being out here in Wyoming, it was almost magical. You adored the whip of the wind across your skin as the air became colder, a few drops of rain kissing your cheeks. In the distance, you could see a small shack, clearly (hopefully) abandoned. You trudged on forth, minding the ache in your knees. You’d been walking for a while now, and you definitely weren’t 22 anymore.  

As the shack came into a better view, the rain began falling harder. You picked up speed, not wanting to be completely soaked and thankfully mother nature allowed you to reach your destination before it really pelted down. Once inside you looked around and no surprise, it was empty. It was a small, dusty home. Only having a living area, kitchen and bathroom with a bedroom off to the side. You sat your backpack and rifle on the couch as you sat next to it, reclining and stretching into the cushion. You were so comfortable as you listened to the rain patter against the roof. The room was dark and cold, you couldn’t help but close your eyes and drift off for a bit.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but when you woke up it was still raining. You stretched, shaking off any remaining drowsiness but when you went to reach for your backpack a gun cocked at the back of your head. You froze, raising your hands in compliance.

“Stay fucking still.” The voice said. You blinked, annoyed with yourself that you let your guard down. “Don’t plan on going anywhere.” You retorted.

You sat there a few moments before another voice spoke, “Hey, kid! What are you doing?” The gun’s nozzle stayed firmly planted against your skull, “She was in here asleep! I was getting the upper hand!” The other person came up to your assailant and pushed the gun away before stepping in front of you, hand at her gun on her hip.

“Who are you?” She asked. She was average height, darker skin tone and had these beautiful braids in her hair. She seemed a bit younger than you but had to have been in her mid to late thirties.

“Doesn’t matter, I’m just passing by.” You sighed, not really in the mood for an interrogation. I mean, you’d just woken up.

“Why are you in the area?” she asked, probing further. The other person, a young girl, went to stand next to her, eyes locked tightly onto you. Did you really come off as that threatening? The girl had to have been 13-14 no older than that. Maybe 15. You couldn’t really tell.  

“I told you. Just passing by.”  

“Maria, she doesn’t really look like much of a threat...” The younger girl hushed. The older woman, now known as Maria, sighed. “What’s your name?”  

“If I tell you, will you let me leave?” You asked, your annoyance increasing.

“It’s pouring still. You want to leave in the middle of a storm?” The younger one remarked.

You sighed, “It’s ___. My name is ___. I don’t have any intention of hurting or robbing or killing any of you. Just needed a place to stay while it rained. Is this your place? I didn’t mean to intrude.”

Maria shook her head. “No, it’s not. We were out on a hunt and it started pouring. Saw this place and had the same idea as you, I suppose.” Maria relaxed, removing her hand from her hip and settling down on a chair opposite from you. “I’m Maria. This is Ellie.”  

Ellie scoffed, “Maria! We could have used fake names!” You smiled softly, loving the kick-back. Maria just shrugged, relaxing further into her chair. “Where you from, ___?”  

Your eyebrow quirked as you thought of an answer, “Good question. Kind of everywhere. Midwest originally. Stayed in the Chicago QZ after the outbreak. Didn’t last long. Been traveling since.” Which was mostly true. You were in Texas of course for a while, and there had been groups you stayed with since the QZ fell, but none of them worked out in the end.

“Why Wyoming now?” She pondered.

“Well, just kind of found myself here. Was with a few people and that ended. Now? Well...”

“What happened to them?” Ellie asked.

“Doesn’t matter. Looks like the rain is letting up. Am I free to go?”  

Maria sighed as she hesitated for a moment. Ellie watched her intently not quite sure where she was going. After some time, Maria spoke. “Alright. You can go if you’d like. Want to follow us though? We have a town a bit north from here. Could set you up a place to stay for a few nights, get you some food, a shower...?”

“A shower?” You asked incredulously. It’d been so long since you’d had a proper bath and you knew you needed one desperately.

She chuckled, nodding.  

“A hot shower too!” Ellie chimed in.

You hesitated a moment, weighing your options. One, you could go and have an amazing shower and meal and sleep in a safe place... maybe even on a bed. Or two, it was a trap and they were going to sell you off or maybe even kill you and cook you. If it were the latter, they probably would have killed you by now, so you decided. Fuck it.

“You have a deal.”

You followed Maria and Ellie a few miles until a rather large town came into view. You could see the area had power as the sun had begun to set. Lights twinkled throughout the homes and your heart almost got caught in your throat. “You guys have electricity?”  

Maria nodded, “Yep. We have a dam nearby that give us power and stuff.”

You all walked a bit more before finally reaching the town. It was massive considering things. As you approached the guarded gate, you could hear people chattering and kids laughing. What were you about to get yourself into?  

Maria raised her hand at the guard who stood at his post, signaling for them to open the gate. As they did, a man rushed to Maria’s side pulling her into a tight hug. You didn’t pay much attention to it as you peered into the town, eyes wide.

“Where have you been? It’s been hours! I was worried sick!” He spoke. Maria rolled her eyes, “I don’t know if you knew this but it was raining cats and dogs about an hour ago? Ellie and I found a little shack and waited it out. We found her too.” She said, pointing towards you.

Your attention was brought back to Maria and as you looked to the man in front of her, your eyes widened even further. His face matched yours as you both stared at each other.

“T-Tommy...? No fucking way.” You stood there like you’d seen a ghost. Tears pricked your eyes and you blinked them away immediately, scared that if you looked away, he’d disappear. Tommy rushed to you, pulling you into a tight hug, squeezing the air out of your lungs. You clung back to him, letting the tears fall freely.  

“___… I can’t believe it.” He breathed into the side of your head, bringing his hand up to your hair.

“I’m guessing you know each other?” Ellie asked.

The two of you embraced a moment longer before he let go of you, keeping you at arm's length. “What... where... I can’t even formulate a sentence right now.” He said, tears of his own stinging the corners of his eyes. You laughed, biting back more tears that dared to spill, “I’m in the same boat, Miller. It’s been so long.”

Your heart was pounding as you reunited with your former friend, just stuck in a  state of shock that after all these years, you’d run into someone like Tommy Miller. What are the odds?

“This your place, Tommy?”

He nodded, “Yeah, Maria and I oversee things for the most part. Come on, let’s get some food in ya.”

You followed Tommy, Maria, and Ellie through the town until you reached the mess hall in the middle of it. As you walked through the streets, people greeted Tommy and Maria. They were doing their duties or relaxed on their porches, enjoying their space. Enjoying their life. Their guards totally let down. It was a sight to see. Children played with each other, splashing in the fresh rain puddles and chasing each other down in a game of tag. It was almost unreal.

The four of you entered the mess hall, the smell of fresh cooked food entering your nostrils. You’d been living off canned beans and peas for the past few weeks so your stomach was instantly rumbling. Tommy sat you at a table while he went and grabbed you a bowl of chili and bread. You could have cried as you ate your first bite; it was hot and fresh. “Is it good?” he laughed. All you could do was nod, stuffing your mouth with another spoonful.

After you ate, Tommy and you caught up to date as best as you could. Ellie and Maria had wandered off somewhere else leaving the two of you to yourselves. “So, you and Maria?” Tommy smiled, “Yeah. Couple years now. Even married her.”  

Your eyes widened, smiling at your longtime friend, “No shit! Wow, who would have thought Tommy Miller to be married.”  

He laughed, “Yeah, yeah. Such a shock, is it now?” You just laughed back, looking down at your empty bowl.

“What about you? Anyone special over the years?”  

You rolled your eyes jokingly, “Maybe a few here and there. Nothing serious though.”

“Don’t know why. You’re still a looker.” He poked.

“There’s the Tommy I know and love.” You grinned, pushing his shoulder playfully, “Not everyone has the luxury of living in a town like this one and meeting the love of their life.”  

Tommy leaned back in his chair, agreeing with you. “Well, maybe it’s sudden but you know how I am. You know you have a place here with us. We’ll set you up with a lil’ house. Get you on the board for some jobs. Wasn’t a doubt in my mind when I seen you out there that I was gonna let you leave again.”

“You gonna hold me hostage, Tommy?” You laughed.

“Might have to.”

You’d be a fool to pass it up, you knew it. But you were nervous. How could you adjust to a life of ‘normalcy’ after being essentially feral for so many years.

“Mind if I think on it a bit?” Tommy shook his head, “Take all the time you need. In the meantime, I got someone you might want to see.”

Your eyebrows knitted together in thought. Who could he have been talking about? And then it hit you. In the excitement of everything that had been happening in the last couple of hours, you hadn’t even considered the idea that Joel could be there. Your heart started pounding in your chest again, butterflies swarming in your stomach as the thought of seeing him entered your mind. You’d convinced yourself that he’d died years ago. That both him and Tommy had died and Tommy was in fact here before you. It’s been 20 years and the idea of seeing Joel Miller still sent you spiraling. “He isn’t…” you began. Tommy smiled at you as he radioed someone over the talkie, “Anyone got eyes on Joel?”  

Your heart hammered so hard Tommy could probably hear it. He had to have been pulling your leg. You started becoming self-conscious. You hadn’t showered in weeks, you were grimy, you had aged. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself because when was the last time you’d had to worry about that?

“He just got in from patrol, you need him?” A man said on the other side of the radio.

“Yeah, send him to the mess. Got someone he needs to see.”

“Roger that.”

Tommy made small talk while you both waited for Joel to arrive. You couldn’t process anything though. You were suddenly so nervous. How was he going to react? Would he be just so happy and cry? Yeah right, that was so anti-Joel it was laughable. Would he just be nonchalant? Like, wow. Been a while. Nice to see you. You couldn’t even predict it. Tommy could sense you were anxious and placed a hand on your shoulder to calm you down. “Hey… it’s Joel. You know him. No need to be nervous.”

He was right. You did know him. But the keyword was did. You knew him 20 years ago. You’ve changed since then so of course he’s changed as well. What if he didn’t even remember you? God, you’d be so embarrassed. “Y-You’re right. I’m just in my head I guess.”

“Well get out of it. I think you’ll be surprised. Want a drink?” He offered.

“God, yes. What do you have?”

“Well,” he began “probably don’t got those fruity little drinks you used to like but I can sure get you a glass of whiskey.”

You laughed, exhaling a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, “Okay. Whatever you got.”

Tommy returned with the drink quickly. You downed it as soon as it hit the table, the whiskey burned the back of your throat and chest as it went down.

“Still can’t shoot whiskey, huh?” Tommy teased. Your face scrunched up into a look of disgust, “Fuck, guess not. That’s awful.”  

Tommy opened his mouth to say something but was distracted by the mess doors opening. There he was. Joel Miller in all his glory. Tommy walked up to the man, patting him on the back before striking up a conversation. You were out of earshot so you couldn’t hear anything but you weren’t sure you wanted to. If you were anxious before, you didn’t even know what to call how you felt right now. You felt like you could throw up on the spot, but maybe that was the whiskey talking. He was the same. A bit aged, but still Joel. His hair was grayer, bit longer too. Still scraggly, but it’s always suited him. Maybe he was a bit more muscular but you couldn’t exactly tell cause of all the layers he had on. You stirred in your seat as your heartbeat went a thousand miles per minute. He was here, and he was alive.

Tommy led Joel over to the bar and poured him a glass of amber liquid, maybe in a way to prepare him. Joel took a sip, not noticing that his brother had signaled you over. You stood from your chair, stomach in your ass as you made your way over to them. Nothing could prepare you for this. You had half a mind to run out and never look back. But your heart yearned for him, even if it were just to be in his presence, even just to say ‘Hi’.  

You reached both men, standing at the chair behind Joel who had his back facing you.  

After a moment of you trying to talk yourself up, you spoke. “I’ll have another one, Tommy.” You said, sliding your glass over to him. Joel turned around, finally aware of your presence. His eyes scanned up your body until they met your face.  

A chill ran up Joel’s spine as he heard a voice ask for another drink. It was a voice he knew all too well. One he hadn’t heard in 20 years, besides in his dreams. His eyes met yours for a moment, until you turned away under his gaze. No words were said and honestly you didn’t feel like they needed to be. He stood from his chair and faced you fully, eyes shimmering behind the tired look on his face. Almost like he was renewed.  

“Hi, Joel.” You managed to get out, your words finally finding you again. Confidence found you too as you looked the man in the eye. He sputtered a moment, not quite sure what to say before he decided nothing was best. He wrapped his big arms around your frame, pulling you in for a hug that was even tighter than Tommy’s. You hugged back, gripping to the back of his flannel. He smelled the same with just a hint of something new. That warm, musky Joel smell that reminded you of cedar and whiskey with the added sent of pine. You could have gotten drunk off it. Not in a million lifetimes could you have imagined the day would come where you were reunited with him. You had to have been dreaming. More tears spilled and you cursed yourself, tired of all the waterworks.

Joel held on to you for what seemed like an eternity. You didn’t mind at all. In fact, you welcomed it. It’d been too long since you’d been touched in general you hadn’t realized how much you’d been craving something like this, let alone from him.

“I’ll give the two of you a moment.” Tommy said, knocking on the bar and walking over to Ellie who was coincidentally walking up to you all and pulling her away with him, “Oh c’mon, Tommy!” She yelped.

Joel finally pulled away, but still keeping you at bay, “I don’t... I don’t understand. Where did you come from?” He was breathless. He kept thinking it was a dream, you being here. He didn’t want to wake up.

“Well, that’s a long story,” You laughed, “Most recently from Colorado. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t even know how we’re both here to be honest.”

Joel smiled down to you, his grip tightening, “It’s kind of unreal, right? I kind of.... thought-”

“That I died? Trust me, when I saw Tommy, it was like I’d seen a ghost.” You recalled, eyes softening as it really hit you that Joel was here in front of you. Unchanged, just slightly grayer.

“I-I looked for you... For years. I kind of went mad about it for a while. So much happened that night.” His face twisting into a look of discomfort as he remembered the night things started.  

The two of you sat and spoke for hours, catching up on everything. Joel told you about Sarah and how Tommy stopped that soldier. You cried when he spoke about her; he teared up too. You told him about Holly and how she’d been taken that night. How you looked after RJ until he got sick one winter when he was 8. He didn’t make it either. He told you about the Boston QZ and people he’d met along the way. How he met Ellie and how that went down. You did the same. A lot was similar in the way you lost people, and a lot was different. 

At some point during the conversation, Joel reached over the table and took your hands into his. You couldn’t even imagine pulling them away. By the time you caught each other up to speed, the clock above the mess door said it was nearly one in the morning. At this point, it was only you and Joel in the room. It was so strange to you how 20, almost 21 years had passed and it was like you’d talked to him yesterday. You both fell so naturally in line with each other, you had no idea why you were so nervous to begin with. The two of you sat in silence while Joel rubbed circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. You hadn’t felt this kind of comfort in so long, you didn’t want it to end.

Suddenly, the doors burst open to reveal an irritated Ellie and an exasperated Tommy. “Joel, you have all day tomorrow to catch up. You promised me you’d teach me that dumb song on your guitar.” she said, throwing her body down on the chair next to Joel.  

“I’m sorry, we tried everything in our power to keep her entertained. You know how she is about her Joel.” Tommy joked, pushing Ellie’s head forward slightly.

Ellie scoffed, “Yeah, right. This old man? I’m just making sure he makes good of his promise.”  

“You know I always do. But, she’s right. It is gettin' late. I’m sure you gotta be tired.” Joel said, looking over at you. You nodded, finally paying attention to how exhausted your body was.

“Yeah, I am. I’ll give you Joel back, Ellie.” You said smiling to her, “Tommy, you said you got a place I can stay a while?” He nodded, beckoning you with his hand to follow him. You went to follow him but not before Joel grabbed your wrist, stopping you from going any further.

“Promise we’ll talk tomorrow?” His eyes searching yours for something you weren’t sure of.

“’Course. I’m not going anywhere.” Your answer seemed to satisfy him as he gently let go of your wrist and stood. “Alright.”

The next few days flew by. You’d gotten cozy in your tiny home. Which really wasn’t so tiny. Two bedrooms, a working bathroom and kitchen. You could have died there you loved it so much. Tommy had taken you to the pantry to get some essentials stocked up in your house. They gave you a few days to settle in before getting your answer on if you’d be staying long term. Which, of course you were. You saw Joel and Ellie every day. She was always in tow behind him which you thought was the cutest thing ever. She’d been growing on you and you hoped you were growing on her as well. She acted tough at first, almost like she wasn’t interested in getting to know you, which Joel told you she’d come around. You really hoped for that. And you succeeded. 

It seemed like Joel made up any excuse to see you throughout the day. Literally the most mundane things, and there he was. Knocking on that red front door of yours.

“Tommy told me the sink has been leaking. Figured I’d come take a look at it.”

“Actually, the sink has been doing just fine.”

“Oh, well. Maybe I should take a look anyways.”

Or, “I made an extra sandwich. PB&J. Ellie said she didn’t want it. I figured we could have lunch together.”

“Oh, I actually just made some eggs. Also, aren’t you on patrol today?” He pouted, “Oh, yeah. I have a lunch break though. It’s alright if you don’t want it. Jus’ thought I’d ask.”

“... a peanut butter and jelly sandwich sounds pretty good right now.”

And even, “Hey, Maria said they’re playing that one movie you liked at town hall tonight. The one with the green guy and the donkey?”

“Shrek?”

“Uh, yeah. I think so. Want to go watch it me? Or, uh... I mean, Ellie and I?”

“Sure, Joel. I’d love to.”

It was so funny to you. But you loved it. It was so in character for him to beat around the bush or to just make the little excuses to see you or hang out with you without just plain saying “Let’s do something.” You’d come to realize Joel really hadn’t changed much at all in the decades you’d been apart from him. At least, in the ways he’d been showing you. You also realized maybe you hadn’t changed much either over the years. You found yourself falling into ‘normalcy’ easily. You lived for the moments where Ellie would come over and ask you to have dinner with them. Or the little excuses Joel made up to see you. It filled your heart in ways you weren’t even aware of. You were excited to wake up each day, knowing you were with people. Maybe even your people.  

Days turned into weeks and you’d even been assigned work at the preschool during the day. Sometimes you’d take shifts at the mess halls bar, serving drinks to the men and women in the town. You figured it was a good way to make friends. Joel and Ellie always sat at a table near the bar when you'd work with the excuse of keeping you company. Not that you minded, at all.  

One night, a few months after settling in Jackson, you called Ellie over to the bar, “Hey, come here. Wanna teach you something.” Ellie pointed to herself making sure you were talking to her to which you nodded, smiling to her.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Wanna learn how to make a drink?” You offered. Ellie’s eyes lit up and she agreed eagerly, “Um, yeah, duh! What drink?”

“Well, let’s see what we got. Not much to work with but here,” You said handing her the glass, “Put some ice in it, and fill it up to here with this.”

You handed Ellie the bottle of bourbon on the shelf behind you. She opened the bottle and filled the glass halfway, eyeballing it to exactly where you had pointed. “Hmm, how about we top it off with this?” It was an almost empty bottle of ginger ale. She followed your instructions, filling the glass to the brim. “Okay, now take this spoon, put it at the top of the cup and slam it to the bottom.”  

Ellie looked at you with her eyebrows quirked, “Slam it? But why?”  

You laughed, “Just do it. Trust me.”

Ellie tilted her head, unsure, but did it anyways. She slammed the spoon down, causing the glass to fizz up, nearly spilling over the edge. “Oh shit... Can I drink it now?”  She asked eagerly.  

You laughed again, now tilting your head as you thought a moment, “Well, not too sure about that one, Ellie. Why don’t you go ask your dad?”

Ellie grabbed the glass and carefully walked over to the table Joel was sitting at. You watched from a distance as she asked the older man if she could drink her creation. Joel looked over to you and gave you that look, you mouthed a sorry and stifled a giggle. “Not today, kiddo. Try again when you’re older.”

“Oh, c’mon, Joelllll. I can’t even have a sip?” She whined. It was endearing.

You watched as the two of them went back and forth, arguing over the drink and who was going to drink it. You smiled to yourself. The moment felt so... domestic. You didn’t know what to think of it. But by the way your heartbeat picked up, you figured you might have liked it.

You were cleaning glasses and organizing the liquor when a couple of men sat at the bar, and removed the hats off their heads. “Back from a late patrol, boys?” You asked, placing cups in front of them and pouring some whiskey into it.

“Yes, ma’am. Not much out there when it’s ‘bout 10 degrees and snowing.” One of them said. He was a regular. Here at the bar every Thursday and Friday. Maybe Sunday’s. You’d picked up from his friend that his name was Luke. He was younger. Probably about 25, maybe 26. His friend, who you learned was named James was a bit older. Mid-thirties, married, had two kids. They were both nice, however, James was a flirt despite being wed. Luke tried but he was pretty inexperienced. Both alright looking though, the younger being taller and thin, blond hair and blue eyes. The older one was shorter in stature, bit thicker, with darker hair and green eyes. If you were honest, you weren’t the biggest fan of James, but a you remained cordial.

“It is a chilly one out there,” James began, “Luke needs someone to keep him warm at night. You’re single, aren’t ya, ___?” He said, smiling. His grin somehow gave you bad vibes, but you smiled back nonetheless.  

“I am. But I'm not looking right now. Sorry, Luke. I’m old enough to be your mom!” You laughed, finishing up wiping a couple of glasses and setting them in a tray under the bar. “Barely! Maybe if you were a teen mom or something.” He retorted. You just smiled and went about your business.  

A little while later after a few more people came and drank, it was almost time to call it a night. You peaked behind the people finishing up their drinks and sure enough, Joel was still there, with a book, listening to the random music that played on the stereo. You bit your lip, hiding the smile that adorned it. He was always there.

“All I’m saying is that, if I weren’t married, I’d be all up on that! Luke, c’mon she’s a single cougar. Get your head in the game.” You overheard James's whispering to the younger man next to him. James sighed, “I don’t know, James. She’s been seen with that Miller guy. Not Tommy but the other one. He’s scary. Heard he’s killed a bunch’a guys.”  

“Oh, come on. He’s not that bad. Just an old dude. Plus look at her. She’s fucking worth it, man. The ass she has on her? God, and those tits.” James continued.

You mentally scoffed. You figured he was a slime ball but this was just flat out gross. Thank God the mess hall was closing soon because you were about ready to give the man a piece of your mind. Suddenly, James said something, attempting to get your attention but you pretended not to hear.

“Helloooo! I said can Luke get another drink here?” He repeated himself.

“Oh, sorry. I’ll pour you one more but we gotta close up soon.” You replied, filling Luke’s glass once more.

“Jesus, Luke. You see that? Dumb and hot. I bet you could convince her to get in bed with you.” This was your last straw. You get they’d been drinking but they clearly lacked common sense. You turned to the sleazy drunk, ready to tear him a new one but it turned out you didn’t need to. You stood there; arms crossed waiting for whatever was going to happen next.

“What’sa matter, baby? Suddenly want a piece of what Jamesy-boy has to offer? Got enough to go around!” Your eyes rolled as he tried again, digging himself a further hole.

“Don’t think she likes what you’re offering her, Jamesy-boy.” Joel said behind him, placing both of his hands on either of James shoulders. Luke’s eyes widened at what was happening, or at least about to. He had some decency to know what James was saying was wrong, but he lacked the balls to say something about it.

“Wha-What... How would you know what she likes and doesn’t? How dare you come up and put your hands on m-” James bit his tongue when he turned around to see a seething Joel behind him.  

“Wanna repeat what you were about to say?” Joel asked, leaning down into the man's face. James shook his head quickly, struggling to move from his seat as he was so frightened.

“If I see or hear you talking to her again, hell, even lookin’ at her, I’ll mess you up so bad, your wife won’t even want what ‘Jamesy-boy' has to offer. Y’hear me?” Your eyes widened at Joel’s threats and you couldn’t help but like what he was saying. His words turned in your stomach as you felt the heat build there and further down. Only God knew what that said about you.

James nodded, trying to slip past Joel. Luke got up as well, ready to follow his friend out. “I didn’t hear you say it. Out loud, now.”  

“I-I won’t talk or look at her again. S-Sorry about that.” He stuttered.

“Good. Don’t apologize to me though.” Joel said, signaling over to you.  

“I’m sorry, ___. It-It won’t happen again.” You nodded, acknowledging him, waving him away.

The two of them scurried away like the rats they were. Good riddance. You looked at Joel who was now sitting at the bar. “Jesus, Joel...”

He scoffed, “What? Was that not okay? He was harrassin-”

“I think you’ve gotten softer in your old age.” You chimed in. Joel stared at you, confused as to what the hell you were talking about.

“Excuse me?” He asked. “I told him I’d beat him so bad he’d be disfigured and that was soft?”

You laughed, finishing up the last of the cleaning before close. “Yeah. The old Joel I knew would deck a guy for saying something to me.”

Joel sat there a moment as he recalled the night at the bar where he broke a man's jaw for calling you a slut. He smiled lightly, “That’s right. You’re right... maybe I have gotten soft.”

Your eyes rolled as you grabbed your winter jacket and throwing it on, “Come on, softie. Walk me home.”

Joel obliged, getting up from his seat and following you out of the mess hall. The two of you walked into the frigid air, almost instantly shivering from the lack of warmth the place provided you. The sun had set a long time ago, leaving the milky blue hues of the night appear next to the luminescence of the moon. It was a sight. You stared up at the floating rock in the sky, entranced by its beauty. If everything in this world has changed, the moon stayed the same. You were a big fan. You were so engrossed in the way the moonlight shined; you had no clue someone was doing the same but to you. Joel walked with you, paying no mind to the road ahead of him. His eyes were on your frame, on the swell of your breasts, on your lips. He noted how your irises twinkled as you peered up to sky. It caused a lump to form in his throat, his heart rate picking up as he tried to swallow it down.

“Hey, Joel?” You asked suddenly, his gaze quickly leaving you as you looked to him.

“Yeah? What’s up?” He replied, clearing his throat.

“Back there… in the mess. I could have handled that myself.”

Joel was taken aback for a moment before chuckling softly, “Oh, darlin’ I know. He should have been more scared of what you were gonna do to him instead of me.”

You laughed back, nudging Joel on the shoulder with your own, “I mean it! I would have tore him apart had you not been there.”

Joel smiled, “I know, I know. Maybe I just wanted some points in my favor with you. Make me look cooler, maybe make you like me more.” He continued.

You looked at him with a confused face, “Like you more? Joel, I’m not sure if that’s even possible. I think I like you too much.” Your nerves started getting the better of you as you realized what you’d just said. Joel’s eyes widened but only for a second. He started slowing his steps down as he turned to you, “Like me too much, huh?”

“Just forget I said it.” You piped in quickly, trying to back track.

“Don’t think I can do that, darlin’.” Joel said, stopping you from going any further. He wrapped his calloused hand around your wrist, lightly pulling you to him. Your eyes softened as you looked up to the man, your cheeks reddening under the yellow-toned streetlight the two of you stood under. You wanted to look away. You didn’t want Joel to see the way he so easily made you blush. “Stop hiding from me. You look so pretty, tonight. You always do.” Joel placed his free hand under your jaw, leading your eyes to meet his.  

“Why can’t you forget I said anything?” You hushed, entranced in the way he was looking at you. Like you were the most precious thing in the world. He just laughed, bringing his hand from your wrist to the other side of your face. “Don’t want to. Think I might like you too much, too.”

You smiled, heart racing, stomach flipping; everything. You brought your hands up to Joel’s jacket, running over the wrinkles until you hit his neck and kept them there. Snowflakes began to litter from the sky and danced around the two of you, melting as soon as they hit your bodies. “Well, Joel Miller. If you like me so much, why don’t you kiss me?”

“Can I?” he asked softly, nudging his nose with yours as he closed the space between you. All you could do was nod as your words failed. That’s all he needed before his lips were on yours. His soft lips met yours, only a little chapped. You moved with him as he kissed you, one of his hands wrapping around the back of your neck while the other fell to the nape of your spine. Your own hands wrapping around his neck and lacing through the bottom of his hair. You both stood there for what felt like forever, just enjoying the embrace. At one point Joel nipped the bottom of your lip, asking for an entrance. Your tongues moved and intertwined with each other as Joel deepened it even more. You didn’t want to break away as you were quite literally seeing stars and hearing fireworks but Joel stepped away first. “We-We need to stop, baby girl.” He said breathlessly.

“Why? I want to kiss you more.” You insisted, moving your head to kiss him again.

Joel grinned, pecking you again lightly once, twice, maybe a third time. “Trust me. I need to kiss you more. But not here.” You agreed with him as you pulled him further down the street. It was a straight shot to your house when suddenly Joel stopped again.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

He hesitated, his face etched in concern. “You’re not gonna regret taking me home with you, are you?”  

Your eyebrows pulled together as you looked at him like he’d said something ridiculous, because it was. “Joel, do you think I’d regret it?”

He hesitated, unsure of himself, “Don’t know... ‘S why I’m asking you. Don’t want you mixed up with the ‘crazy old guy’.”

You paused a moment, almost laughing at how silly it was. You walked right back up to Joel, placing both of your hands on his cheeks a pulled him into you, kissing him once again. It was full of intensity. You wanted to show Joel just how badly you wanted him, crazy or not. Hell, you were old too. Joel fell naturally into it, wrapping his arms around your body. He chased your lips like he was addicted. It sent you soaring. After a moment, you pulled away, “Come on. Take me to bed.”  

Joel placed his forehead against yours, holding you to his body. You could hear the heavy, desperate breaths coming from him like he was wagering with himself. Joel cupped your face once again, his lips ghosting over yours before whispering, “Let’s go.”

The trip to your bedroom was hazy. You were so out of your mind with want for this man you were shaking. As soon as you both entered your room and the door was shut, Joel was at you. He shed you of the thick winter jacket you had on and the fleece sweater under that. You did the same to him, pushing off his coat and flannel in one go. Your lips met fiercely, your hands running up his chest to his neck, pulling him closer. You wanted to be engulfed in him in every way. It scared you a bit at how much you wanted him in this moment, how much you needed him. You shivered at the lack of clothing as Joel pulled your jeans down, leaving you in your bra and underwear. He stepped away but only for a moment as he discarded his shirt and worked on his pants. His eyes ever left your body. His breath grew heavy again, watching the way his chest puffed up and down. You could see the strain of his length, begging to be released as he stepped out of his own pants and returned to your body.  

Joel kissed from your clavicle to your neck, biting and sucking as he saw fit. You moaned as you wrapped your arms around him, scratching his back lightly. He grunted, shuddering from the pain as it turned into pleasure. Joel grinded against you, his erection poking your belly. Your hand flew down to it, rubbing him through the fabric of his boxers. He sighed, kissing up your jaw to your mouth as he fucked into your hand. “f-fuck, baby girl. You’re drivin’ me insane.” He stuttered, his hands at your panties as he slid them down. He left them just below your ass, gripping your cheeks and kneading them in his large hands. You moaned again, your own hand slipping into his underwear as you continued your ministries. His cock was already slick with precum. God, he was so needy for you. Never in his life had he had a desire this intense. Both your bodies felt like fire as your fingertips danced over the expanse of each other’s skin.  

You were just as desperate. You could feel the wetness drip from your folds on to where your underwear sat, your swollen bud just aching to be played with. It’s like Joel could sense that, as one of his hands left your ass and dipped inside of you. He circled your clit slowly at first which you could have cried at. You needed more. You bucked your hips into his hand and he got the hint, picking up his speed. You both stood there at the side of your bed, getting each other off. Both moaning into each other’s mouth, licking up his jaw as he did to yours.

“Baby, need to be inside of you. F-fuck, I’m goin’ crazy.” He breathed; his breath muted as he spoke against your lips. You were already so close from Joel working so hard on your clit, but you knew coming around his cock would be way more gratifying. You nodded, separating yourself from him as you shucked your bra off and climbed on to your mattress, minding the way you wiggled your behind ever-so-slightly to which Joel moaned out loud at. Joel rid himself from his boxers and climbed over to you, hovering over your body as he pecked hot, open-mouthed kisses up your body.

“You’re so f-fucking beautiful.” He spoke, eyes on you. Your own eyes rolled as you wrapped your hands around his neck pulling him in for another kiss.

“Quit buttering me up, Miller.” You sighed, licking a strip up his tongue. Joel’s grip on your waist tightened. He was so hard it was beginning to hurt. “Not doing no such thing, darlin’. You’re so fuckin’ pretty. Look at how hard you get me. Been doing this to me a while now. Just lookin’ at you, I could cum.” His words went straight into your heat as you clenched around nothing. You needed him in you or you’d quite literally die.  

“Oh yeah? How long you been touching yourself to me?” You asked, your hand returning to his cock as you lined him up at your entrance. Joel slid his leaking tip in between your folds, running it up to your clit, rubbing there for a moment.  

He laughed softly, “Long time, baby girl. Here and there before. But now that you’re here with me again; it’s almost every night.” Your back arched at his confession. There’d been many nights you’d lay awake since you moved to Jackson. Your mind thinking of the events of the day, but they’d always end up on Joel. They way he’d sip from his glass of whiskey, or bourbon. The way he’d come into the mess hall after a patrol, always a little disheveled and sweaty. Or the way he was always so intense with you, never looking away when you spoke, when you laughed. How he’d always find a way to have a hand on you, just to be as close as possible.  

“Joel, put it in, fuck- all the way. Please fuck me.” You begged, your legs wrapping around his waist.

“You ready for me, sweetheart?” He asked, teasing your needy hole with his tip, pushing it in slowly. You nodded, lips back on his. Joel pushed himself in easily. You were beyond ready for him. He gasped at the sensation. He loved the feeling of his cock being swallowed up by you. He looked down at your cunt as he bottomed out, moaning at the sight.  

“Jesus... you take me so well. Y’always have. Like you were made for me.”  

His words sent you spiraling, your eyes rolling back as you felt his fat cock fill you up. He started at a slower pace that was still intense. His lips on yours as he kissed into your open mouth. You couldn’t help the moans and sighs that escaped your reddened, plump lips, abused from Joel’s own. Joel pumped into you, your slick mixing with his as you both created a symphony of wispy moans and slaps against each other’s skin. It was fucking beautiful. His hand pushed the stray hairs away from your face as he picked up speed, thrusting into you as the claps became louder. “Yes-s, take it. Let me see that pretty face of yours. So fucked out ‘cause of me.”

You loved how vocal he was. It was a driving force as he slammed into you, on the edge of his high. You were right behind him, the coil in the pit of your stomach on the verge of snapping. Joel’s thumb worked on your swollen bud again, circling quickly as he wanted you to come with him.  

“Joel I-I'm so close, fuck!” You cried out, your arm thrown over your eyes as he rutted into you.

“Move that arm of yours, wanna see you when you come for me.” You obeyed, your arms wrapping back around his neck pulling him down to you. Joel kept his pace steady, and with a few more flicks of his thumb, you were unraveling. Your hand flew to his hair, gripping it as you moaned, calling out his name. Joel felt your cunt tighten around him, gripping him to you. “Yes, fuck, take it! ’s all yours, baby. Always yours.” His pace slowed; you felt the hot ropes of cum filling any leftover space inside you, coating you. Tears pricked your eyes as he continued the remainder of his thrusting, everything becoming too much.  

Joel’s softened dick slid out of you and was replaced by two of his long fingers, “Don’t want you to waste a drop. Keep it all in, baby doll.”  

Your eyes closed; body enamored with pleasure as your legs shook from the af effects of your orgasm. Joel collapsed on to you, pecking your chest and neck with more kisses and love bites. His hands found their way up to your hair and weaved into it. He wanted you close, but you weren’t going anywhere.

The room was quiet besides the sounds of both yours and Joel’s labored breaths. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as you basked in the comfortable silence. It was a while before either of you spoke. You actually thought Joel had fallen asleep which sucked, cause while you loved him being on top of you, he was getting heavy.

“Do you regret it?”  He spoke suddenly.

You pushed yourself up onto your elbows as you peered down to the older man on you. You looked at him incredulously, like you’d been shocked. “Regret what we just did?” He nodded slowly, eyes on yours.

“Joel,” You began, fully sitting up as you pulled him with you, “Why would you even ask that?”

“I just... Dunno. Just feel like you could do better than an old, crazy guy. Lots of guys ‘round here dying to have you even look at ‘em.”

You sighed, your shoulders slumping. Your hand reached out to Joel’s face, petting the grayed scruff on his jaw. You took some time to figure out how to say exactly what you were feeling, even then it was hard to explain. “If you think that, genuinely; You really must be an old, crazy man.” You laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

“I don’t think you realize that I am absolutely in love with you, Joel Miller.” Joel’s breath hitched as his eyes widened slightly. His heartrate picked back up. He really wasn’t expecting to hear that.  

“Not Luke. Not James. No one else. Ever. I get that might be a lot to place on you so sudd-”

Before you could even end your sentence, Joel’s lips were on yours again. He kissed you so deeply, so passionately, that you could have exploded. Your body was so warm even with the bite of the negative temperatures outside. He pulled you on to his lap and just... held you. He held you so delicately, like you’d break with any amount of pressure. After a moment, he broke away and maybe you were just seeing things, but you could have sworn you saw a little tear drop, threatening to fall. Your eyes glazed over, tears of your own beckoning an appearance. You truly were just so in love with him, it was crazy. You’d only been reunited a few months back but, it was as if you’d spent the last 21 years with him. It felt as though no time was spent apart at all. Things between you just worked so naturally and flowed so well. Like you were made for him, just as he said. And as though he were made for you.

Another comfortable silence lingered in the air. You both just genuinely enjoyed the presence of one another. Joels hands rested at your waist, one them made its way to your back, rubbing small circles on to your skin. His head fell into you, resting just above your breast as he breathed you in. Your own hand had moved to his hair, scratching his head lightly.

Joel sucked in a big breath of air before speaking, “Don’t think I’ve heard those words in a couple’a decades.” You nodded along with him. It’d been a long time for you too. Joel looked up to you, too comfortable to move any further. His eyes glimmered as he looked into yours. It was as if you held the universe within those orbs of yours. He couldn’t look away.

“I am absolutely in love with you too, my sweet girl.” Now it was your turn to be surprised even if you weren’t really. Not like you’d been expecting him to say it, but it was still something. You couldn’t help but smile as a tear fell. You didn’t want to cry, not at all. But you couldn’t help it. Your body swelled with emotion as every cavity of you filled with love and admiration for this worn-down man in front of you. Both of you changed in so many ways, some for the better, maybe some for worse. But when you really looked at it, not so much was different. He was still Joel Miller, and he was yours.  

“Good.” Was all you could say as more tears threatened to fall.

Joel smiled, a small laugh escaping his lips. “Good.”

taglist: @paleidiot, @aestheticangel612​

i hope u all like this part! soft joel is my absolute weakness and i love writing him. i think i might take some requests so if anyone has any ideas for Joel Miller or even Din Djarin :o i’d be glad to see them! also lemme know if anyone else would like to be added to a taglist <3

likes and reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed <3

#pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller x reader #tlou #the last of us #joel x reader #fanfiction #please lemme know if yall like it hehe

[auteurdelabre]

Losing our Minds Together Part 1 [Joel x f!reader][Bill x Frank][Ellie x Riley]

Summary: As an artist by trade it's only natural that you'd agree to give your young neighbor Ellie drawing lessons. You just weren't counting on her stoic father Joel Miller getting under your skin.

Rating: 18+ (for future chapters)

Word Count:

Pairing: Dad!Joel Miller x f!reader (no use of y/n, no physical descriptions) , Bill x Frank, Ellie x Riley, Tommy x Maria

Warnings: This is saccharine slice of life with smut and a Soft!Joel. You have been warned. There is smut, but when it gets to those chapters you will have plenty of warning. (That is if there is interest in my story!)

A/N: Hey ya'll I loved writing "Something to Fight For" so much, building a world for these characters to live a kinder, softer life. I couldn't stay away from the idea of another AU story for Joel x Reader, this one with less angst , our fav girl Ellie's first crush, and our fav guys Frank and Bill falling in love. Nothing like my other work, not associated with it at all, just similar in that I'm the one writin' it heh heh. But PLEASE let me know what ya'll think in the comments.

---------------------------------------

Losing our Minds Together: Chapter 1

I don't paint dreams or nightmares. I paint my own reality.

- Frida Kahlo

-----------------------------

It needs more blue.

No, no. That's wrong. It needs white, just a little dab.... There.

Perfect.

You step back from the canvas, satisfied.

The music is blasting, something moody by The Smiths. A bit before your time, but you've always had a proclivity for older things. Old houses, like the one you live in. Old furniture artfully arranged in the rooms, beautifully carved and one of a kind. Old music, like the stuff that blasts from your CD player now.

You think it's because you grew up with your grandfather. The kindest, most patient man you'd ever met. The kind of man that saved you after your parents died in the car accident. Not just in sheltering and feeding you, but in building you up again. Reminding you what was so wonderful about being alive.

He's the reason your an artist. He's the reason you're alive at all, really.

You brush the hair that's fallen into your face, feeling the dried paint there and breathing deeply as you step back and survey your work.

This one is the ocean, a trite and overdone concept, but working only with the palette knife gives it fat swathes of colorful texture. The kind that makes each wave seem possible to touch, to dive into.

Your next gallery showing is coming up, and you have a few more pieces to create. It's a multimedia exhibition, and your latest batch of ceramics needs to be fired. You sigh, thinking of the kiln you had to sell last month to pay the rent. Money is a bit tight these days, your art's not selling like it used to.

Over the music you hear the sound of beeping, high pitched. You turn, looking through the large bay windows of your studio/office.

There's a moving truck, and alongside it a silver blue truck gliding into the driveway next to yours.

New neighbors. You'd forgotten the couple across the street had mentioned that the place was bought. The place next to yours had gone unsold for so long that you just assumed it would stay abandoned forever. You'd enjoyed that, feeling more free in your backyard without the old biddy who used to live there shooting you daggers.

You take a sip of your coffee, watching as the moving vehicle backs into the driveway next to the truck.

A young girl scrambles from the front of the truck, dressed in jeans and a faded black t-shirt layered over a striped long sleeved shirt.

She walks quickly towards the house, her dark eyes blown wide.

"This place is fucking huge."

You giggle silently to yourself at the young teens observation. She can't be more than fourteen with her dark hair in a knotted ponytail. It swishes back and forth as she takes in the entire house.

You watch as a tall man with broad shoulders and tousled brown curls steps down from the truck. He's wearing jeans and a black t-shirt that pulls against his thick biceps.

"Watch it," he says without malice. "Swearing isn't exactly becoming of a young lady."

You hear a twang in his husky voice, one that doesn't match his daughter's. Texas maybe?  You've never been great at placing accents.

You watch with mild interest as he begins to unhook the ties holding the boxes in the flatbed.

"Yeah well when I see one I'll tell her," the girl replies.

You feel yourself bubbling over with laughter. She's quick. You smile around your coffee cup, watching them.

You find yourself rather fascinated with the duo, listening to them banter back and forth from your window. They carry boxes inside the house , talking the entire time. You can't hear everything, but you think you hear the words "baby" and "school".

"This place is amazing, Joel," Ellie says.

Joel. Not dad. And yet when you watch them interact it's certainly as if they are family. You suppose that he's perhaps the step dad, that the mother will be joining soon.

You consider going over, being neighborly and offering some help. But a quick beep of your watch reminds you that you're already behind on your own tasks for the day. 

///

You grunt carrying the large box of dried ceramics up the steps of the gallery. The site conditioning hits you and you send a silent prayer to whatever god is in control of temperature.  Through the double doors at the back is Frank's personal studio. He owns the gallery, recently moved here but still loves to create his own art. He's really big into textiles and ceramics.

He's the one who first taught you to throw on a wheel.

Frank was friends with your grandpa as long as Frank had lived in Wyoming. He's known you since your were a heartbroken twelve year old moving to a new city with a grandfather you barely knew.

You were coming from New York. Big city, big apple, big dreams. Moving to Wyoming had felt like a punishment. Leaving your friends and life behind.

But Wyoming is where you found your love. Art. Paint, ceramics, drawing, anything you can get your hands on.

"Honey!" Frank calls out when he sees you burst through the doors, rushing over to help you carry the items to a nearby table. He grunts, hefting them onto it along with you. 

Frank is tall, lean and impossibly handsome. When he smiles it lights up his face. He's always dressed well, chic like any gallery curator.

"You really need all these fired today?"

"Yeah," you nod panting. "Exhibition is coming up in soon. I gotta be ready. And I wanted to test some of the glazes first "

"We have those test tiles," Frank reasons. Frank always thinks he knows better about most things (which makes it extra annoying when he is).

"Yeah but you know it's not the same," you argue. "My pieces are totally different than-"

The two of you begin to debate the merits of test tiles as you unload the items and Frank places them into the kiln.

"These are great," Frank says, but you hear the catch in his tone. Great, but not like the stuff you used to make.*

"You wanna grab a bite?"

"Not this time," you say wincing. You don't want to have to say the words out loud: you're on a budget. A shitty one that means store bought coffee and no more non essential clothes shopping.

Then Frank says the two words that cause any broke artist to rejoice.

"My treat."

///

It's busy in the cafe down the street. The one Frank comes to at least once a day. You settle into the bar along the window while Frank brings over his drink and your huckleberry pie. 

You chat a while longer, mentioning your new amusing neighbors and how you're going to miss having the quiet to work.

"Is the dad cute?" Frank asks with a brow raise. Frank loves hearing about your romantic life, you assume because his is so littered with bad dates and worse boyfriends.

"I didn't get a great look at the front," you admit. "But he wasn't bad from the back."

Frank laughs around his espresso cup before you suddenly feel him tense beside you. You watch your friend's eyes go owlish behind his glasses and follow his gaze out the window.

Coming up to the cafe with a scowl is Bill. Everyone in town knows him. Bill. The quiet, intense mechanic that owns the place around the corner. The one who comes in for coffee at roughly the same time every day. You roll your eyes at your friend, taking another bite of pie.

"Frank."

"Shhhh," Frank says, pressing into you with his shoulder as Bill walks in, the bell tinkling above him. You both watch as he strides heavily to the counter.

"Black coffee."

The usually friendly barista doesn't even say good afternoon. Bill doesn't do pleasantries. He slides the two wrinkled bills towards her.

"Still that guy, Frank? Really?"

Frank is smiling shyly. He gives a short shrug of his lean shoulder, before his eyes are back on Bill. As if he feels the gaze Bill glances over, catching Frank who  pretends to be laughing at something you say.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"He saw me staring," Frank says gripping your arm and shaking it gently. "Pretend you're telling a joke. Pretend you're funny."

"I am funny."

"Really?" Frank asks, his face amused. "I've never seen proof of that."

You give his shoulder a playful push. "When are you just gonna ask him out?"

"I don't even think he bats for my team," Frank murmurs back. "How humiliating would that be? I confess a year long crush just for him to tell me he's straight? No thanks. I did enough of that in college."

You smirk at that, nudging him with your elbow. "Wimp."

Frank says nothing, simply watches from behind you as Bill takes his coffee, heading outside back to his shop.

"Thanks for the pie," you say earnestly. "It's been forever since I had anything other than something I can heat in the microwave."

"Finances still tight?"

You shrug.

"Told your grandfather not to remortgage," Frank says under his breath.

"It's not all that bad," you insist. "If my next show goes well I'll be able to pay off the majority."

If you show goes well. If not, it might be time to think about selling. The thought of selling your grandfather's place with all its memories is upsetting.

"You should think about teaching art classes again," Frank suggests gently breaking into your thoughts. "You used to love doing that."

"Yeah well," it's your turn to shrug. "Things change."

"Only thing constant is this life is death and taxes," Frank agrees. "But what I'm hearing is you have taxes you can't pay."

You go quiet.

"Just think about it," Frank urges you.

"Okay," you nod at your friend before scraping the last bit of huckleberry onto your fork. "I'll think about it."

///

Your car rambles into the driveway hours later, the sun setting behind you. You're tired, spent from dropping buying specialized art supplies in Colter Bay.

The last of your money for this month, but if it's as good as the woman in the shop promised then your pieces are going to look amazing. And you need them to look amazing. You need to make sales.

You give a groan, pulling the bags from the seat next to you. You stretch to a stand, your mind whirring with all you need to do in the coming weeks.

"Got any garbage bags?"

"Christ!" you scream at the unexpected male voice behind you, dropping the bag you're holding in fright.

The man, Joel, your neighbor stands looking aghast. His hair is sweaty at the temples, his t-shirt damp along the collar. He's been lugging boxes all day, the moving truck is gone and his truck's flatbed is bare. He has a beard, closely trimmed and the same shade as his hair. Up close you can see it's threaded with bits of grey.

You look down to your feet, your worst fears confirmed. The expensive brushes you bought have snapped under the heavy gloss varnish bottle which has cracked and leaked all over the bag and now dribbles onto the driveway.

"No," you drop to your knees, trying your best to scoop the vanish back into the bag even though you know it's pointless.

Joel drops to one knee as well, even though he can tell it's fruitless. He looks at your crumpled face as you stare at the waste, shaking your head.

All you can see now is dollars and cents being quickly soaked up by the ground.  You drop your head into your hands.

"Fuck. No. This can't be happening."

You twitch when you feel a heavy hand at your shoulder. A tentative gesture of apology from the man knelt across from you. 

"I'm so sorry," Joel says, his face twisted into genuine concern. "I'll replace 'em. Just tell me where and I-"

You're so angry. Angry about the fact that you have no money. Angry about your art not selling as well. Angry about the pitying look in Frank's eyes when you talked about the mortgage. And now deep thundering fury at the man who gapes at you with wide brown eyes.

You glare before you angrily push his wide hand off your shoulder.

"Stay away from me you fucking hillbilly."

Joel's eyes blow wide at your sudden vitriol. You jerk to a stand, bringing the ruined supplies with you. Joel is still kneeling there, staring at the remnants of the varnish. 

Without another look you rush to your house, holding back furious tears as you force the key into the lock.

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #smut #joel miller #dad joel miller #fanfiction #pedro pascal #fanfic #bill and frank #ellie x riley #romance #soft!joel #soft!joel miller #ellie the last of us #lgbtq community #lgbtq #love #pining #art #artist #a03 #a03 writer #a03 fanfic #a03 fic #read on a03 #fanfic writing #slice of life #please comment

[sneakyblinders]

urgent business. tommy shelby x reader

A/N: hi! new writer here for the peaky blinders! please enjoy this cheeky one shot. :) 

Warnings: fluff, language, sexual themes, light spice. not canon for how our fav gangster would behave but i like to think this is how tommy would be if he found the right woman.

“Don’t you just hate how they’re always all over each other?” your eldest son, Peter said, face twisted in disgust. You, Tommy and your four children were supposed to be having a family walk through the gardens, but Tommy had other ideas, leaving your four children trailing behind, his arm wrapped around your waist, telling you funny things that made you cackle with laughter. 

“No,” your second child, Katherine replied back. “I think it’s quite romantic.” she said, dreamily.  “What’s romantic mean?” Isabel, tied for youngest with her twin brother, William asked, her little legs barely able to keep up with her older siblings.  “Like--lovey dovey. You know what romantic is!” Katherine snapped at her.  “I’m only five.” Isabel shot back in response.  You turned around to see your children, and smiled at them, their father only looking at you. Only ever having eyes for you.  Tommy adored his children. He would walk through fire and in front of a bullet for any of them, but you: his wife, his beloved. You were the breath in his lungs. Fire in his belly. Apple of his eye. His one true love. The one who gave him strength to wake up every morning.  You pulled him out of the depths of his shell he had retreated into after the war. Made him remember who he was before. Helped calm his shattered nerves, shattered heart. You picked up the pieces and loved him back to life. And for that, he vowed he would spend the rest of his days loving, cherishing, ravishing and spoiling you to absolutely no end.  Tommy said something else you found funny and you turned back to him, playfully hitting him on the chest.  “Do you think they’ll have another baby?” William asked, cogs in his mind whirring. “I sure hope not. There’s too many of us already.” Peter sneered.  “I think another brother would be nice.” William said, a smile on his face.  Peter rolled his eyes.  “Children!” Tommy called behind him as they approached the barn. “Your mother and I are going to go for a ride. We’ll be back shortly. No playing around the ponds, am I understood?” he said, expression stern.  “Yes, father.” they all replied in unison.  “Good.” he smiled at them before turning his attention back to you. You had jogged ahead of him a little ways, giddy with his boyish promises of ravishing you in the horse stall like he used to when you were first married.  The children plopped down beneath an apple tree, a good distance away from the barn. Horses still frightened Isabel, despite their father’s attempts to dull her fear of them. He had tried riding with her and it had ended terribly; she screamed and cried, only spooking the horse. Tommy had to practically throw them both off the horse and tried to calm him down before throwing Isabel over his shoulder and walking the whole way back to the barn. 

“Why do we never go riding with them?” Katherine asked quizzically to her older brother.  “It’s their alone time, silly.” Peter responded sarcastically, plucking grass, blade by blade from the patch around him.  “They’re always alone.” She responded, a pout on her face.  “It’s because they can’t keep their hands to themselves.” Peter replied, a devious look on his face.  “Don’t speak that way about them! Father would have your head if he heard you say that.” Katherine responded. Isabel and William were preoccupied with trying to catch a frog.  “Can’t ever say anything poorly about mother,” Peter rolled his eyes. “He always yells when I do say something, even if she is wrong.” he said in disgust.  “Mother is rarely wrong, Peter.” Katherine told him.  “Yes, but sometimes, she is and he never lets me tell her my side of what I see. It bothers me.” Peter threw the blades of grass into the wind.  At that moment, their parents emerged on their fathers favorite horse, a huge black stallion with a white patch on his left side. Their parents both looked rather disheveled.  You rode in front of Tommy, his arms and legs caging you in, holding you tightly against him. Moments before, he had pushed you up against the stall door of the barn, hands needy as he tugged at the neckline of your blouse. “Thomas,” you said weakly, out of breath from his kisses against your lips, pulse point, collarbones. “Thomas, not when the children are so close.”  “My love,” he rasped, grabbing your backside. “We’ve done far worse with them far closer.”  “Tonight, you may have your way with me.” you promised him, kissing his nose.  He gave you a devious smirk before leading the horse out of his stall. 

A half hour later, you and Tommy returned. “Go see to the children while I put ‘em away.” He told you, helping you down from the horse.  You nodded, walking back towards your children. “Mother! Did you see if any of our flowers have bloomed yet?” Isabel asked. A few weeks ago you and your daughters had planted some wildflower seeds in a field close to where you keep the garden.  “They haven't bloomed yet, but I did see some small, green stems!” you told her excitedly.  “Where’s father?” Peter asked, standing up.  “Just putting the horse in his stall. He’ll be here soon.”  “Do you think he’d play ball with us today?” he asked.  “I’m not sure, son. I think he may need to go back to his office, but why don’t you ask him when he comes out?” you hated disappointing your children, but more often than not, Tommy had very few spare hours to spend with his children. Much to your dismay, most of their waking hours were spent with their tutors and the nanny. You and Tommy were often busy with business.  “Ask me what?” Tommy asked, coming up behind you and taking a hold of your hand.  “If you would play ball with us this afternoon.” Peter said.  Tommy looked at you nervously for a moment. “I don’t have anything pressing to attend to today. Why not!”  Peter and William cheered. “Can I play?” Isabel asked.  Peter rolled his eyes. “She can be on my team.” Tommy told his eldest, who started to walk back towards the house. 

When you got back to the house, Tommy, your sons and Isabel stayed outside to play while you and Katherine went back inside the house to get some lemonade, cheese and crackers for a snack. “Mother, do you love Daddy?” she asked.  You smiled to yourself. “Very much. What would make you ask such a question?”  “Just wondering.” she responded dreamily. 

That night, after all your children were safely tucked away in their beds, Tommy began working on the promise you had made him in the horse barn. “Gotta be quiet, love.” he rasped in your ear, his hand between your legs.  You bit back a moan. “Thomas,” you whined.  “Sh...” he chuckled, pushing your nightgown further up your hips.  You were in fact, not quiet that evening. Your husband was good at many things, and delivering pleasure filled nights was one of his favorite pastimes.  You woke up the next morning, sore between your legs, but an unmistakable glow about you. Tommy loved lying in bed with you, watching you gradually come to life in the mornings.  “Good morning, my love.” he whispered, pulling you into his chest.  “Good morning,” you yawned, curling into him.  “Sleep well, my queen?” he asked, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You mumbled a yes. He chuckled. “You seemed thoroughly exhausted by the time you did fall asleep.”  “I was.” you chuckled, cheeks flushing.  “Don’t be embarrassed,” he smiled down at you, heart swelling in his chest. “I loved every second.”  You heard what sounded like a stampede of footsteps, followed by the bedroom door being flung open, and the nanny screeching, “No, no, no!” Three of your children bounded in the room and launched themselves into bed with the two of you.  “Mr. and Mrs. Shelby, I am so sorry!” The nanny stammered, trying not to look at your almost bare forms, barely hidden by blankets and sheets.  You and Tommy laughed. You were glad you both had decided to slip some scraps of clothing on before you fell asleep the night before. “It’s no bother, Sara.” you chuckled. Tommy had Isabel and William pinned down, ticking both of them at the same time.  “They’re late for their lessons.” she fussed, cheeks flushing hot, seeing Tommy’s chest bare.  “That’s alright. They can work a little later into the afternoon today.” you told her as Katherine snuggled into your neck. “Good morning, my girl.” you cooed at her.  William and Isabel had managed to overpower their father, who was now being held down by both of them. “My love, help!” he laughed, playing into their game of play fighting as they tickled his stomach. You grinned at your eldest daughter.  “You reckon we ought to help Daddy?” you asked her.  “Take it like a man, father!” William laughed, causing Tommy to laugh harder than you’d heard him laugh in a long time.  “Okay, okay, okay, I surrender! I am waving the white flag!” Tommy said, breathlessly. “What do I have to do as your prisoner?”  Isabel and William looked at each other, a sneaky look on their faces. “We’d like chocolate biscuits for lunch.”  You gave him a smile. “Very well then. Small price to pay for my freedom.” he said. “Sara, see to it that they get chocolate biscuits for lunch, please.” he told the blushing maid, who was still frozen in place.  “Yes, sir, Mr. Shelby.” she said.  “Alright, children, let your mother and I get dressed. We’ll see you shortly.” Tommy told them, pressing a kiss to each of their heads. Sara ushered them out of the room quickly, closing the door behind them.  Tommy flopped back down on the bed, still trying to catch his breath. “That was fun.” he chuckled.  “Do you reckon they heard us last night?” you ask, eyeing him as he reached for a cigarette.  “You mean heard you?” he asked, chest rumbling with laughter.  “We need a bigger house.” you groan burying your face in his chest.  “You can have whatever you want, my love.”  “I’m not gonna ask ‘er!” you overheard your oldest daughter screech to your younger one.  “Fine, I’ll ask Daddy.” you heard William say as they walked down the hall to where you were sitting, sewing a quilt.  Thomas sat next to you on the loveseat, reading the paper.  “Daddy,” your youngest son said, standing in the doorway. “Daddy I have urgent business.” he said.  Tommy chuckled, setting the paper down in between the two of you. “Yes, son?”  “It’s--it’s mans business.” he said confidently.  “Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of your mother, son.” Tommy said sternly. “Your mother is as much a part of this business as I am.”  “Well,” William said, digging his little hands into his pockets. “Do you love Mother?” he asked.  “Of course I love your mother. Isn’t that obvious?” he chuckled.  “Well--we thought so but then last night there was a lot of shouting. And we figured she was upset at you because she kept shouting your name like she was upset with you. And sounded like she was crying.” he said. “We were--we were worried, that’s all, Daddy.”  All of the blood drained from your face, heart hammering with anticipation of how your husband would explain this one to your son, and daughters who were eavesdropping.  Tommy rubbed a hand over his face. “Son--”  “I tried to tell ‘em, Dad. Tried to tell ‘em they would understand when they were older.” Your eldest, Peter chimed in from behind the other three.  “Understand what, exactly, Peter?” your husband asked, eyes serious.  “The love between a husband and a wife.” Peter said matter-of-factly, shooting his dad a knowing look.  “Yes, Peter. Sometimes, the love between a husband and wife can be so--intense--” your husband paused, searching for a cigarette. “That it causes them to shout.”  You stifled a giggle, clearing your throat to distract yourself. “Mother, are you certain you’re alright?” Your youngest son asked.  “Of course, lovey. Your father is right. I love him very much.” you said, smiling gently at him.  “Right, well, go run along now, please.” Tommy said, sitting back in his spot on the loveseat.  The three youngest children scurried off, but your eldest remained. “Thank you, son.” Tommy sighed.  “Keep it down next time, will ya? I can only answer so many questions before they aren’t satisfied with what I tell ‘em.” Peter said, giving his father a stern look.  “Yes, Peter, I will do my best to contain myself from now on.”  “You too, Mother.” your son shook his finger at you.  “Careful how you speak to her.” Tommy warned.  “Yes, Sir, Mr. Shelby.” you smiled.  Peter shook his head, turning on his heels and walking out of the room.  You and Tommy shared an embarrassed look before chuckling to yourself. “Thank God for Peter. Fifteen going on fifty, eh?” he sighed.  “Thank God for Peter.” you agreed, smiling at your husband. 

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x oc #tom shelby #thomas shelby #peaky blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #sneakyblinders

[ohraicodoll]

im am cracking up at the thought of ellie getting her first gf and trying to get some advice from joel and red. like ellie really wants things to go well w/ her and joel and red are the only people she would feel comfortable asking, but i just know red and joel would accidentally make the whole thing awkward and ellie would lowkey regret asking. god i love my fav emotionally constipated family 💓

omg yes because Joel would definitely learn about Ellie being gay earlier with Red around and they are the absolute worst at dating.

Joel had never looked like he was dying on the inside more than that moment. It was a moment of many firsts. Sarah hadn't quite made it to the point where boys were a discussion so he never had to talk about it with her, thankfully. And back then he only had to look big and imposing and maybe bring Tommy along with him to the school pickup lines to deter any boys.

Now, he was having to sit in a whole new world, twenty years later, while his new surrogate daughter stumbled her way through talking about a friend who he was quickly catching on wasn't just a friend. It took him a while to figure out that's where the conversation was going because while Ellie wasn't necessarily girlie, he was almost certain he was going to have to deal with that boy Jesse asking her out. Turns out it wasn't Jesse he was having to worry about. It was Mia. Red looked equally nervous and anxious, though not surprised. It was more because Ellie was starting to ask their opinion now. Opinions on maybe asking this girl out. The three of them were equally uncomfortable. "I just...wanted to see if you two had any advice? On, like, telling her I'd like to go with her to movie nights or the community party next week or something?" Ellie's face was red and her hands were flat on the table in front of her, eyes diverted but flickering up to them as the silence stretched. Joel looked at Red and quickly saw the panic in her eyes and the slight shrug of "don't fucking look at me." "Um, kiddo, you're like wanting to ask her out on a date?" he tentatively asks though he knows that's exactly what she's asking. He needs to hear it confirmed because he's not about to put his foot in his mouth. His mind is still trying to wrap around that its girls he's going to have to deal with, not guys, and how the fuck do you scare off girls in the apocalypse? It's not like he can put his shotgun out, everyone fucking had a shotgun. Girls were ballsier than boys when it came to dads and he couldn't go around scaring them off easily. Ellie fumbles though at his direct question, face growing brighter red, "I mean- no- yes, kinda? Look I know it's weird-" "It's not weird," Red quickly cuts her off forcefully, teeth clenched, "It's fine-" "Yeah, totally not weird," Joel joins in, both their voices overlapping, "You like girls and that's fine and we're fine with it-" "You can like boys too, you can like both or everyone, whatever you want-" "Doesn't matter, as long as they respect you and down the line, like way way down the line, you're safe-" "Oh god," Ellie is shoving her face in her hands, "That's not at all what I want to talk about! Can't you just tell me how you asked other people out?" There was a hesitant silence. Joel didn't want to tell her that his previous attempts at dating were all in bars on liquid courage and his last actual relationship before Red was with Sarah's mom who he married when he was barely twenty-one after getting her knocked up. And he knew Red's was twenty years ago with her high school sweetheart of six years whose face she shot off.

They both had fumbled their way together through hate sex so that wasn't going to get brought up at all. "You see, I..." Joel started then drifted off, not quite sure where to progress.

"Um," Red winced and stared at him with panicked eyes, visibly trying to think back and coming up empty, "You could have a friend ask her? Or...have you tried a card?" "You two are the fucking worst," Ellie groaned.

#anon #anon asks #joel miller x feral reader #joel miller x reader #tlou ellie #tlou #the last of us #tlou fanfic #the last of us fanfic #joel miller imagine #series: feral #Feral Reader #raicodoll writes

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Ceilings

Pairing: Post-apocalypse!Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Warnings: Smutttt, 18+, swearing but overall this is really wholesome and heartbreaking and possibly my fav thing ever written, so much angsty vibes guys.

Word Count: 1.3k

Song: "Champagne Problems" by Taylor Swift and "Ceilings" by Lizzy McAlpine

Summary: The reader has to leave but Joel is willing to do anything and everyting to keep her in his arms for one more night, not wanting to be abandoned again like everyone else has left him. This is a request by @what-muses; "Female reader smut with Joel Miller and the prompt 'Make Me’."

It's lovely that I have the opportunity to be beside him, bodies curled against each other while we watch the plaster peel off the ceiling, soft rain drops hitting against the cracked window. It's a perfect day to be alone with him, the humid air swarming around us, warming our cold bodies that lay beneath the blankets.

He's so soft like this, bedsheets wrapped around him, his hands splaying across my hip as his lips attentively find a home on the column of my throat. He smells like aftershave and something woodsy, calloused skin feeling good against my own, his aura filling my mind like the most addictive drug.

How special am I to be able to see him in this environment, unlike his typical closed off, hateful, spiteful mood. He's not like that with me, not normally, instead taking on a more protective, caring, stern mood when he's curled up in bed with me but I know that there's still a darkness looming in and out of his mind.

When we first met at the QZ, I didn't know the extent of his pain or what he had been though. Anyone could've seen that he's been through a lot, more than most people and that's saying a lot considering nearly everyone was impacted by the cordyceps looming around, turning our loved ones into monsters.

But when him and I started to get closer and one night, over booze, he confessed to me that he had a daughter who quite literally died in his arms, the day of the fall, his birthday, I broke down with him. How could such a good man, an overall good person, go through that and not turn into a monster of a different form compared to the ones we're used to.

I found out about his brother a week later after Sarah.

He harbors guilt for Tommy, wondering if he was the reason that he left in the first place but anyone who knows Tommy knows that Tommy just seems to be a busy body, always getting involved in something new whether it be the military or the Fireflies.

But he left Joel, like Sarah did, though in different ways.

So what does that say about me?

I don't want to leave him in the morning, but I have to, abandoning the only arms I've ever called home. He doesn't know and he shouldn't have to know that he's losing me in the morning because I know his world will fall into chaos the minute he finds out that I'm leaving. Like everyone else has.

Feels like the start of a movie I've seen before, me leaving him, him leaving me, it's a back and forth nightmare where we don't know when the next time we'll kiss, when our movie will end permanently and the other person won't have closure.

But I have to go.

So for now, I'll soak in what I can, humming quietly as he rests his head on my bare chest, my fingers carding through his tangled locks in an attentive manner. His guitar is in the corner of the room, my eyes lifting to look at it every so often to memorize it just in case I need something to remember when I'm beyond the walls.

I map Joel's fingers, imagining them plucking at the strings and telling me about his daughter, how he got her a guitar when she was younger but she never used it so he picked it up out of spite to show her how easy it was for her to use.

I imagine that Sarah would be happy that he's with me, being constantly dotted on and taken care of, just how he should be. She'd like that he smiles now, that his eyes have softened and jaw has unclenched since her passing. He's told me that he's had no reason to be hopeful for the future until me, no reason to be afraid of losing himself since he's met me.

Since Sarah.

It makes leaving even harder.

"You're leaving aren't you?" Joel asks against my skin, lips brushing softly across my collarbone and I feel the stinging of tears rise to my eyes, frustration and anger towards myself swimming in my brain.

"How'd you know?" He looks up at me with soft eyes, no disappointment or anger behind his brown hues, not like I had expected them to be filled with. Instead it looks like he already knew, as if he assumed I wasn't here to stay and that thought makes my heart break. He always knew I was a flight risk.

"You're holding onto me tight." I can see the glass heart through his eyes shattering with every word that escapes him and I confirm his fears by holding onto him even tighter, worried that he'll leave me before I have the chance to leave him, our normal back and forth bullshit. "Tighter than normal."

"I just wanna be close to you." I find his lips, drinking in his taste as our lips part to accommodate the elephant in the room, my heart weighing heavily in my chest and I can't ignore the fear that this is the last time we'll get to be like this, to have the pleasure to soak in each others presence without behind worlds apart.

"You couldn't be any closer." He whispers against me, greedy yet soft hands urging my hips closer to his and I gasp, feeling his cock against my thigh, my head spinning at the feeling of him so close, wanting nothing but for him to slip inside of me, keeping me close to him and never letting me go.

The words die on the tip of my tongue; I miss you already, I want you, I need you, I can't live without you.

"I want to be." I wrap my arms around his neck, face pressed into the pillow as I throw one of my legs over his hip, moans drowning in the pillow and Joel hums.

"C'mere." His voice keeps me hanging on like a prayer, fingers carding through his hair as his cock finally slips into me with no effort, a small whimpered gasp escaping me at the feeling of being so full, like my missing puzzle piece, fitting perfectly into me, completely my broken edges. "Don't go." He begs, arms wrapping around my waist the best they can and my mind clouds over.

I'm pretty convinced that I'd do anything he'd ask me to when he's deep inside of me, thrusting lazily in and out of me and it makes my eyes spring with tears once more, knowing how desperately and pathetically I'm going to miss being this close to him.

"Joel."

"I never ask for anythin'." He mutters, kissing me sweetly once more and I feel my whole body tremble in his grasp, his hand cirling around my to fist some of my hair, pulling me chin upwards so he can press kiss against my throat, leaving bites in his wake. "Please just stay."

"Make me." I beg, giving into him, knowing in my heart that if I try to leave, it's going to be nearly impossible.

There's something that just happened, just now, something that shifted from what we were before into something new, a sense of wholeness filling us as he fills me and tears trail gently down my cheeks as I reach my peak, tumbling over the edge and pulling Joel with me. He groans loudly, finding my lips as he presses messy, heated kisses to my lips, unrelenting and heartbroken.

"If I had it my way, you'd never leave this bed." Joel whispers after a few moments, holding me tightly to him and not bothering to slip out of me as he gets comfortable, wanting nothing more than to keep me as close as humanly possible.

"Then don't let me."

#joel #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel x reader #the last of us #the last of us fic

[bucknastysbabe]

Hi, :)

Can you write soft degredation for Tommy Miller where he is doing that to female reader. Tommy is a soft dom and the reader is a sub <3

Omg so sorry for the wait luv u for being patient E xoxoxo BUT I ENJOYED WRITING THIS IMMENSELY I need him especially when he shows up in tlou hbo HNGHFFJNN also I did use some twang bc they Texan also my fav thing is when Joel gets Distressed and the accent IS OUT

Kink Bingo - Degredation

Little slice o’ heaven

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: >2k

Tags: Soft dom, Tommy Miller is a sweetie pie who luvs his lady, pnv!sex, SOFT SAPPY LOVEMAKING, slice of life, set in Jackson, fake innocent reader, light Degredation kink, general warm n fluffies and orgasms

You couldn’t help but worry every time Tommy went on a patrol. But he was extremely capable, everyone in the safe haven knew that. Joel and Tommy once took out over 20 infected on a patrol, including those ghastly clickers and near impenetrable bloaters.

You stoked the fire in your shared cabin with your love, stew cooking on the stove. He’d radioed he would be back soon. You frowned, the asshole had been gone for a week. But you stayed busy, tending to the kids of the community, teaching them the ways of this new life. Well a life they’d only know.

There was a niggling feeling Tommy liked to go on extended patrols with Joel so they could bond. Which considering how volatile they were at first it warmed your heart. Padding back over to the pot of beef stew you stirred the contents, eyes flickering out the window.

People milled around, kids playing. You never thought life would become so…normal. Heavy boots and the creak of the door drew your attention, Tommy throwing off his jacket, running a hand through his long hair. He toed

off his thick boots, eyeing you softly. You smiled, putting a hand on your hip and teasing, “Bout damn time Miller.” He grinned and strode toward you, sweeping you into a big hug.

He nuzzled at your neck, drawling, “Sorry sorry, there’s my girl. You know how it gets up at those ski lodges.”

You rolled your eyes and teased, “Yep, playing guitar and laying on those couches you love. Leaving your poor pitiful baby at home, slaving over this stove and caring for the snotty children.”

Tommy’s grin widened, dark eyes sparkling. He kissed your lips quickly, big hands caressing your waist. In that southern drawl of his Tommy laughed, “Oh you’re fine, needy lil’ thing.” You harrumphed and turned back to the stove, pointedly shrugging off your lover.

Tommy snickered, coming up behind you and rasping in your ear, “C’mon baby, don’t you play cold w’me.” You turned to look, face innocent, “I’m almost done with the food, go on and sit down. Mercer gave me a bottle of wine he pilfered at a resort down the way.”

Tommy gave your ass a light smack, stomping to the rickety kitchen table. A pretty little flower from the greenhouse decorated the center. The fire crackled in the background. You poured the stew into some bowls, grabbing a loaf of bread to soak up the hearty flavor. Tommy called from the dining room, “You better be nice after we’re all fed, been thinkin’ bout your pretty self.”

You blushed and ignored the obvious sucking up. Carrying the plates to the table Tommy groaned, “Damn baby that smells good, much better than that dried shit Joel n’ I been eatin’.” You snickered, “Figured you’d need something to warm up.”

The pair of you ate in bliss, Tommy updating you on his adventures and you talking about the rowdy kids at the school. Time caught up, and the wine was drained. Suddenly you felt tipsy and flushed, Tommy’s lids lowering. You knew that look. Pillowing your hand on your chin you hummed, “What’cha thinking about stud?”

He leaned forward, a hand on your thigh, dangerously high. You’d been wet since his scent filled the room again. For y’all’s age difference, Tommy was insatiable. He crooned, “What d’ya think, sugar?” You couldn’t help the little whimper emanating from your chest.

That damn Miller man had you hooked since you stumbled into Jackson, half starved and crazed. He was kind and patient, teaching you more survival methods. As a former reluctant FEDRA teacher he found you a spot for schooling the kids. But with a much less militaristic, fascist curriculum.

People made jokes about Tommy being too old, but you liked it. He was dominant, rugged, and oh-so-sweet under the rough and tumble demeanor. Tommy snapped to get your attention, humming, “You all spacey already honey? Don’t take much for ya’.”

You trembled and whimpered, “Need you Tommy.”

He grinned, squeezing your thigh. The man hummed nonchalantly, “Why don’t you put up the dishes and I’ll get us all set up in the bedroom huh baby?” You nodded obediently, standing on woozy legs. The wine definitely did not help. Gathering the plates, a fork fell, clanging against the table.

You yelped and jumped, Tommy already up and assisting you to carry the dining ware. He sighed, “Sorry sweets, didn’t mean for that, here.” He walked you to the kitchen and pecked your cheek, his stubble brushing your soft skin. Your mind was blank as you scrubbed and put up the dishes, eager to get with your man.

The bedroom was dim, a single homemade candle you had crafted with the kids dimming the room. Tommy had washed, curls cascading to his shoulders— dark eyes gleaming. The heady atmosphere almost made your knees buckle. The Texan crooned, “C’mon over here darlin’.” You gulped and crawled forward, robotically beginning to shuck off your clothes.

Tommy grabbed you and pinned your trembling frame to the bed, tutting, “I get to undress my baby girl.” You whimpered, “P-please Tommy!” He laid plush kisses on your lips and neckline, rugged hands pushing down your pants. He ordered gently, “Up now, know how soft ya’ get.”

He shucked off your thick sweater, gifted by him of course, and the dreary long Johns underneath. Next came the bra, you shouting at the chilly air hitting your nipples. Tommy chuckled, warm hands palming the tender flesh. You mewled, “S-sheesh baby, feel so good.”

“I know sugar, young hot blooded thing like you needs this. Good thing your old man knows what to do. My girl.”

You arched into his lean body, hands pulling at his thick clothing. Little by little his tanned scarred body came on display. You simpered, “I missed you, handsome.” A calloused hand caressed your cheek, Tommy murmuring in your face, “Missed ya’ too hun, sweet thing. Can’t get enough.”

Tommy slowly crawled on top of you, smiling down softly, but the dark gleam in his eye betrayed the benign look. You spread your legs and laid back, outstretching your hands to wrap around the man.

Your lover pressed flush against you, nipping at your jaw while he adjusted himself to mold to your needy body. His hot length slid against your folds, sinewy thighs flexing. You whined his name, running fingers into inky curls. The man gasped, swearing lowly, “Christ you’re soaked sugar, can’t help yourself can ya? All sopping from me steppin’ into the room, naughty thing.” You flushed and scrunched your eyes, moaning, “You get me so hot- gosh- Tommy!”

He laughed again lowly, “You haven’t sworn yet.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. You wanted Tommy to dick you down, not question your word choice. You spluttered, “W-wha?”

He replied as if you were a dolt, “Obviously I haven’t banged the schoolteacher outta ya’ yet.” You batted his shoulder with a scoff, thrusting up against his cock to get back to the matter at hand. Tommy groaned, hand gripping into the bedding beside your head. He grunted, “Fine fine, so needy.”

You watched as a scarred hand guided his dick into your core, mouth agape in ecstasy. You whined, “Yeah- yeah, god Tommy!” His pretty lips fell atop your own as he slid the extent of his hot, pulsing cock inside of you. The pair of you kissed softly, tenderly as he began to move. The old bastard was right, you couldn’t go (too) long without being fucked.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, softly moving along with his movements. Tommy murmured, “Everyone knows your secret baby,” he licked up into your mouth, “Prim little girly likes gettin’ it from ole’ Tommy Miller.” You whined and clenched around him, eyes darting away from his smug face.

He gripped your chin gently, guiding your vision back to his face. Tommy teased breathily, “Ain’t I right honey? You love being my little slut hm?”

You cried out softly, pussy convulsing around his cock. Which was rubbing, rubbing, rubbing all the right spots. You shoved your face into his dampening neck, whimpering at it all. Tommy cooed, hand skimming down the middle of your torso to play at your swollen clit.

“S’okay baby, I know. Don’t have to tell me none.”

His calloused thumb swirled around your bud, sending a lick of fire up your body in a wake of goosebumps. Your fingers dug into his back, moaning his name wetly into the tanned skin. Your thighs clenched harder around Tommy’s slim waist, mewling, “S-shit yes, m’yours yours!”

He groaned again, fucking into your pussy harder, thick tip bumping that spot that drove you wild. Tommy rasped, “Thas’ right, whose pussy is this huh?” You blubbered nonsense, panting and writhing under his undulating movements, earning a sharp crack to your ass.

You howled, “Yours Tommy! Fuck- my pussy is yours baby!”

“Thatta girl.”

Crack.

You scrabbled at his shoulders, moving your lips back to hungrily gnash against your lovers mouth. You moaned and whined between frantic smacks, drool collecting on your lips. You tightened around Tommy, pleasure making the world spin. You cried into his smiling mouth, “Fuck I love you, fuck me so good, m’so lucky.”

“Mmm, I’m lucky sugar, fucking hell, get the sweetest doll in Jackson. Ain’t nobody taking you away from me.”

He fucked brutally hard after talking, proving his point that you weren’t going anywhere. You yanked on his curls, the swirling on your clit sending you to the precipice. Tommy gasped and nipped your lip as you whimpered, “Closeclose, oh god, fucking god, Tommy!”

He moaned, “Yeah, yeah baby, that’s it, come for me.” He pressed his forehead to yours, panting roughly, the bed creaking under both of your panicky movements. Your eyes crossed as you throatily howled a wordless noise, cunt clamping down on Tommy’s cock.

You shivered and held to him, tears pricking at your eyes, overwhelmed mewls escaping your drooling mouth. Tommy swore and pulled out, painting your trembling belly with white streaks. He heaved, “Sshshit! Oh baby girl.” You replied, “Yeah, yeah, s’good!”

You blinked slowly, orgasm ebbing away sadly, Tommy blindly reaching around for a cloth to wipe you off. He did so lovingly, cooing, “Such a good girl for me. Love you.” He tossed the ruined fabric to the side, flopping next to you. Tommy laid on his side, arm draped around your waist.

You turned to face him, tucking a stray lock of his dark hair back. A goofy smile erupted on your face, sucking in a breath before teasing in a hoarse voice, “You been getting jealous? Everyone knows I’m yours.” Tommy rolled his dark eyes, pulling you closer to lay kisses on the bridge of your nose and lips.

“Maybe. Young bucks’ll get sent to the woods if I catch them hawking you down again.”

Snuggling closer into the man you giggled, tucking a leg between his own. You sighed, “I’ll make sure to give the kids a warning. Fool.” He shrugged and held you tight, a warm light in this strange world.

#tlou fanfiction #tlou smut #tommy miller x reader #kink bingo #asks answered

[metaphoricgibberish]

Hi, it’s the annoying Bay Area anon again.

I come with a question more in tune with your blog this time. I’m kind of new to the fandom and was wondering if you could link me to some fic recs. Trying to go through ao3 and tumblr is overwhelming af and I really enjoyed your fics so I’m trusting your judgement lol

if you don't stop calling yourself terrible, undeserving names i will drive out to berkeley right now!

absolutely, of course, i would love to! first and foremost i must mention though, i am a very busy lady and i don't read half the amount of fics i would like to, so this list is just going to be off the top of my head, fics that have stuck with me and/or absolutely wrecked me, but i try to reblog stuff as i read it as well so keep an eye out for that.

Literally anything by @netherfeildren - Vic is an actual genius wordsmith and i worship the ground she walks on probably to a degree that freaks her out. you can't go wrong with any of her fics. Pink and Fear of God are my person favs tho.

Your Summer Dream by @swiftispunk - absolutely incredible, vacation!joel AU that i'm so obsessed with that i check daily like a madwoman for updates.

Lavender and Halcyon by @justagalwhowrites - Lavender is completed and probably thee quintessential Joel fic. Halcyon is a no breakout AU that i just started reading and also check for updates like a woman starved.

everything written by @the-ginger-hedge-witch - her series (which she's turning into a book because she's brilliant) Crush, is what made me start writing my first Javier Peña fic. Highly recommend her Joel boxer AU fic called Breakout.

Rough Day by @no-droids - obviously. this is probably the most famous fanfic the entire pedro fandom has. incredible work, everyone knows that.

Of Constellations & Creeds on AO3 - idk if this author has a tumblr, i read this ages ago and i don't think it was ever finished, but it is so fucking good, Mando a/b/o dynamics. i think about this fic more than i should.

forever is the sweetest con on AO3 - also unsure if this author has a tumblr (please if anyone sees this and knows any of the authors for the fics i've left untagged let me know) but i think i've read this fic like 20 times. reader is the daughter of a prepper, Joel and Tommy stubble into town and he's immediately smitten by her. takes place over several years. angst is so fucking good, and a wonderful payoff.

okay that's all off the top of my head, but there's thousands more that are incredible and amazing. i try to reblog things as i read, so just scroll through my blog for more recs!

hope you're doing well! i know it's quite a dreary week in the bay right now, hoping to see some sun soon!

#fic recs

[robinsnest2111]

zombie au anon here, you have got my brain turning with this monster high au

for some reason, the thing that wont leave my mind is nikki accidently losing a hand/it running off, and that's how he might meet mick? like for some reason, the hand isn't scared of mick and is kind of drawn to him, and wont leave him alone. nikki apologizes, but the hand just wont listen, and wont leave/reattach. i don't think mick would be annoyed at this, i honestly think he'd just find it funny. but nikki would be embarrassed because that's literally his right hand. nikki cant just grow a hand, he's literally without a hand here. the hand's almost like a pet in my mind?

speaking of pets, tommy is probably very affectionate to mick, and i'd like to think that mick only really lets tommy do what he does to him? the only time he scolds him for it is when he'd jumped on his back, which did genuinely hurt mick. tommy didn't realize it until mick literally pushed him off, and then he started apologizing. tail between the legs kind of guilt y'know

ALSO SIREN/BANSHEE VINCE IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA like taking vince's beauty and just slightly turning it into something slightly creepy is my absolute jam, its one of my fav things. like hes still absolutely stunning, but his eyes are just a little too blue, or his teeth are a little too sharp, or nails a little too long. hes eerily beautiful, and it lures you in, but somethings just always off about his appearance yk?

very sorry for the long ask! also, the first chapter of the zombie au should be finished and out by next week 👀

this ask has been living in my mind rent-free the past couple days aughhh <3333333

and I can all see it so vividly so I whipped up some sketches real quick <3

you can really tell Mick's look is very much inspired by Draculaura 👉👈💕

also omg, cannot wait to read the first chapter of the zombie au!!!!!!! 👀

#anonymous #ask robin #monster high au #robin's art adventures #mick mars #nikki sixx #vince neil #tommy lee #vampire #werewolf #siren #banshee #frankenstein's creature #mötley crüe #motley crue

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Do you have an HC’s about Jake & Mo’at’s relationship either in your modern AU or in Cannon?

Oooh, my fav relationship, yes indeed I do anon.

My main man Jake Sully is a huge mamas boy, I've established this and so has the movie. The man is not only baby in the first movie, he also wants a mom so bad. I think Mo'at totally could use an extra idiot. Also, Neytiri is stubborn, willful, and always gravitated more towards Eytukan than her. Of course they were close, but Sylwanin was her mini me. Jake is ready to stumble over himself at any time to do whatever she needs, haha. Neytiri would give her pushback sometimes, but Jake always wants her guidance and comfort. Neytiri is also more pragmatic, whereas Mo'at and Jake are both massive empathetic softies. I bet you so so much money that one time Jake came across an injured viperwolf in the forest and brought it home for Mo'at to heal. Neytiri was like "Eywa said it was this animals time, Jake, you are being silly. Our children live here and we are busy, you have a clan to run." And Mo'at was like "Eywa sent you this creature, Jake Suli. Also look how soft his ears are." And they both bullied her into letting Jake keep it.

In my modern au, their relationship is similar. Jake wasn't starving as much for a mom, because we have Grace basically raising him, Tommy, and Norm in my canon. But Mo'at could tell right off the bat him and Neytiri needed a kindred soul like each other. Someone who was a little lost, and who hadn't found their place yet. Jake loves his in laws more than anything, he owes them his life, his freedom, his mobility, his confidence, his family; everything. But Mo'at is a little special. It's not the fake teasing relationship he has with Sylwanin, or the camaraderie and gentle advice he gets from Eytukan. Or even the genuine mutual friendship he has with Tsu'tey. He can ask Mo'at anything, tell her anything. They just fit well, they have similar personalities. Even if Neytiri wants to expand, work elsewhere and take on places other than the clinic, Jake is content to be there helping and doing whatever makes Mo'at's life easier. She is like is hero, and he wants to help her help people like him.

#jake sully #mo'at #neytiri sully #jeytiri #tommy sully #norm spellman #sylwanin #eytukan #tsu'tey #avatar #avatar the way of water #james cameron avatar #melissa's asks #melissa on avatar (cameron) #modern au (wheelchair jake! edition) #we are mindmelding get in

[caroll-in]

top 3 12 fics I read in 2022

I was tagged by @pennygalleon in her post to share my own fav reads of 2022 and... wow, it's SO HARD to narrow it down? Like, I knew it would be, but still 😂 This year was pretty peculiar when it comes to my reading, as I didn't really read anything older nor did any re-reads (I did listen to all of the Gallapod and a few podfics of Saras_Girl's stories, if that counts!). Instead, I was trying harder than ever to keep up with this year's drarry fests and dabbed in A LOT of other fandoms too. And, for the first time in years (as dramatic as that sounds haha), I started to read published books again and I'm still all hyped about it 😍

But, back to the fics!

The Categories:

📅 Fav published in 2022

😍 Fav new-to-you fic

🃏 Fav Wildcard (a reread, rarepair, different fandom, the spare spot on a BINGO card)

📅 Favourite(s) Published in 2022 📅

Kept in Cages by @sweet-s0rr0w (hp: drarry, E, 76k, @hd-wireless) - most phenomenal slowburn and stellar worldbuilding, Draco being fantastic with magical creatures, chubby, depressed Harry (and his depression arc is handled SO WELL too) and a whole array of side characters and truly touching scenes that made my cry A LOT. Also, those Malfoys are *somethig else*!! Never before I have been so impatient to know who's the author and the second the reveals dropped I RUN to Lauren's DMs to yell about how much I loved this fic sdfghj

Fool Me Twice by @sorrybutblog (hp: drarry, E, 38k, @harrydracobang) - so it's a case fic but it does a great reverse of the usual Auror Harry trope, as it's Draco who's job is to solve the (so well plotted!!) mystery and Harry is very much in his way, even if not on purpose haha Also, their banter here is *chefskiss*

Open Fire by @slytherco (hp: drarry, E, 38k, @hd-wireless) - canon divergence of what would happen if the war didn't end after Battle of Hogwarts, written in a perfect Tarantino vibe that left me shook a lot and in the best way possible! Ola's worldbuilding here is phenomenal and it also has one of the most steamy shaving scenes you will ever read, trust me.

Romp and Circumstance by @wolfpants (hp: drarry, E, 35k, @hp-bodiceripper) - so it's basically canon hp world but set in a Regency Era? How brilliant is that?? All the Mr-s added before their surnames created such insane tension I could YELL and it was hot AF and so full of pining and jealousy and denial and truly stellar descriptions of era's outfits.

The Inconvenient Death(s) of Harry Potter by [anonymous] (hp: drarry, E, 33k, @hd-erised) - my Erised gift from this year and I'm ITCHING to know who wrote it so I can shower them in love sdfghjkl But believe me when I say it's here without bias, as it's a perfect mix of hilarious and hot and did I mention it's a time loop fic? It features, among other brilliant things, dramatic Draco being frustrated about Harry's choices of running attire, a serial cat rescuer Harry and Tommy the Swan - tell me you're not intrigued!!

Yours Truly by @skeptiquewrites (hp: drarry, M, 14k, @hp-bodiceripper) - ok, first of all: Draco here dresses like Indiana Jones and I'm still not over it and it's been MONTHS. It's an epistolary fake dating fic written in Tee's signature gorgeous prose with brill characterisations and captivating magical theory and I hope I can squeeze some re-read time in 2023 as I very much itch to get back to this one.

The Final Case of Auror H.J. Potter by @pennygalleon (hp: drarry, E, 14k, @harrydracobang) - Penny wrote this fic based on my art during the Reverse BB and I don't think I'll ever be chill about it? Harry's self-discovery here is handled in such a good way, the pining is stellar and it's funny and hot and hilarious AND has Penny's signature drarry banter that never fails to make me grin!!

facedown on my bed (thinking of you) by @onbeinganangel (hp: drarry, M, 10k) - to quote Mari's own words: "Canon remains canon but Hogwarts is an all girls school". And it's such a BRILL idea I could scream about it nonstop!! Their characterisations are so stellar here and they were roommates and had such perfect dynamic and the pining was through the roof!! I had no idea how much I needed a fem!au drarry before I have read this fic tbh and it was everything I could have hoped for in that regard.

😍 Favourite New-to-Me Fics 😍

Impatient to Be Free by @idiopath-fic-smile (les mis: ExR, M, 19k, 2020) - so it's an 1950s les amis lesbian au and I actually don't think you need to be familiar with les mis fandom to appreciate this story? The research done here is honestly insane, the dynamics between two main characters are truly stellar and I could cry over the beauty of author's writing style!! I cannot believe it took me two years to get around to read this gem of a story but I will make up for it by reccing it at every given opportunity sdfghjk

🃏 Wildcards 🃏

steve harrington's six-step guide to getting the guy. by @metaldeads (stranger things: steddie, T, 34k) - steddie is the very first Stranger Things pairing I ever felt the need to read fics about and this one not only fixes what canon ruined in such a gorg way, but also spoils the reader with such perfect characterisations of its characters (not only Steve and Eddie!!) you will actually feel like you're watching a special episode of the series (only better tbh). It was funny and touching and so full of yearning omg!!

elegantly bound by @alchemistc (ofmd: steddy hands, M, 25k) - what kind of Karol's rec list would it be if there wasn't at least one poly ship here? I haven't expected to fell in love with Izzy as much as I did and even more so that I'll be so in love with the idea of him with Ed and Stede... And this fic not only caters to everything I love about their triad, it makes sure to give Izzy some extra backstory (and as a bonus some Black Sails refs!!!!) but it also develops the feelings between all three of them SO WELL! Author takes their time and makes sure they all can get some proper dynamics development: in pairs and all together which I love BEST in poly fics!!

Familiar as a Bottle and a Glass by @queeniegalore (CoD MW2: ghostsoap, E, 12k) - I'm ending 2022 with a very unexpected OTP (and I haven't even played any CoD game, what happened asdfghjkhgfgh) but I'm honestly so obsessed like I wasn't in a very long time!! And THIS FIC, oh my, when I tell you it has the most brilliant pacing of going from UST to RST I have ever read I'm not even being dramatic, it's SO GOOD. The tension here is insane and the dialogues are actual gold of a prose!!

Since I already went way over the og number of mentioned fics and I know a lot of you have already been tagged by others - let's say everyone tagged in this post may consider themselves tagged to share their own favs too. I'm also leaving an open invitation for anyone else who'd like to join - please tag me, so I can see your lists!

#hp #drarry #fic rec #les mis #ghostsoap #steddy hands #steddie #ExR

[althaiareads]

Hiya, I'm normally way too anxious to pop into someone's asks but I love the selection of Joel and Tommy Miller fics you have. Do you have any authors you would recommend for either of them and any fics you'd recommend? Thank you <3

Aaaahhhhh! Thank you so much for sending an ask! It means the world to me that you enjoy my carefully curated (not at all) blog. You are so lovely!!

As for recs... I recently responded an ask with outbreak day themed fics, and I wholeheartedly recommend their work. They are amazing writers.

Here you have some more recs.

For authors, a.k.a. please read their entire masterlists:

@ay0nha is just an amazing writer, seriously. Their work is absolutely incredible. I would recommend Dead Man Walking and Violent Delights, Violent Ends, both are Tommy Miller fics that are unbelievable! I am currently in a brain rot over VDVE Tommy, it's so good.

@inej-ruination-ghafa again, because I just love her so much. I am in the process of devouring her entire masterlist. I would recommend Bloody Hands for Tommy Miller, absolutely amazing! As for Joel I would go with Mine it's just so cute, absolutely incredible.

@pedgeitopascal just read her entire masterlist. Please. Vee is an amazing writer, everything she writes is gold. If I had to rec some of her work, I would go with To do the right thing (which she's turning into a full out series and I'm so excited about it) and A safe haven an ongoing series that I love so much. But seriously, go through her entire masterlist, I did, and wow.

@inklore I mean, Laur is a must when talking fic recs. Her work is amazing, she's in hiatus right now, but she has posted some of the most delicious smut I have read in my life, and I say this as a non smut girly. My fav would have to be Folly it has the angsty edge I love. It is part of the wicked game series, and I love it.

@nexusnyx Nyx, the absolute love of my life. Her writing is straight up poetry, I love it. I melt in compliments whenever she posts. My favs from her are the series Journey to Kintsugi, and this drabble, both are for Joel Miller. Again, please check out her entire masterlist.

@kteague have I recc'd them yet? I don't know, but they are astonishing! Their work is art in every single way. My fav has got to be A Future Together, I promise there's the most twisted unexpected twist halfway through the series that'll make you question your life!

@guess-my-next-obsession is absolutely incredible! I would rec Elementary a series set pre outbreak, and all the drabbles she's put out in that universe.

For one-shots or short series, a.k.a. people that I have not yet had the time to read all their work, but they are absolutely amazing:

Tommy Miller

It will come back by @moonlight-prose the softest hottest smut you'll read in your life, I promise. One of the first Tommy fics I read, I think, and it made me fall for the man.

The best thank you by @augustghosts it's domestic, established relationship with Tommy, and it's so cute. Tommy is a little shit sometimes, but that's okay, he makes up for it.

You are the reason by @angsty-twihardxx it's a three part series, and omg did I suffer reading it! Angsty as fuck, and absolutely beautiful, I loved the ending so much.

Apple of my eye by @gtgbabie0 is just so me, you know? It's set in Jackson, and it is just the cutest.

But then I found her by @iraot right so. I cried. A lot. So, I think you should too. That's all I'm gonna say. Please check it out, it's amazing.

Joel Miller

Safe & Sound by @pagesfromthevoid Cress is an amazing writer! And I wholeheartedly recommend all of her work. This is her first Joel Miller series and is just so good? Two chapters out, and I am eating this shit up!

Why She Spared Me by @colonelarr0w spoilers for the game TLO2, so careful, love. But... I sobbed like a baby reading this. It hurt, it broke my heart, it was awful, I loved it.

This one by @forever-rogue wing woman Ellie for the win. Joel being all nervous, Jackson being the safe place it is. It's such a cute and fun read, amazing!

Unexpected by @typingcorgi okay, this one is HOT! But also, soft, it is a lovely relationship between the two of them and I love it so much. I am eagerly waiting for the last part <3

Ughh, I feel like I'm forgetting many talented writers, and I've come back like 20 times already, but that's all I have for now :(

Please if anyone has more recs, do add them! 🫶🏻🩷🫶🏻

Happy reading, love <3

#Joel Miller fic recs #Tommy Miller fic recs #lovely anon #althaia answers