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queerlennon · 3 years

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Lesley-Ann Jones Is Untrustworthy

So I’ve seen some people in the fandom reading and citing Lesley-Ann Jones’ biography The Search For John Lennon recently and to be honest it’s concerning to me. Lesley Ann Jones has proved in the past to be an extremely untrustworthy source for info about the people she writes about. I understand that it’s exciting to have a book about John that’s not written by the typical “Lennon biographer” type (aka an ageing straight man) and for said book to also promise to shed light and focus on his bisexuality but, if we’re going to analyse John respectfully and accurately, it’s important to identify sources that are biased and untrustworthy, even if they’re technically within our favour. Especially when it relates to his queerness. And seeing as LAJ doesn’t have the best record when it comes to writing about rockstars’ sexualities in a respectful manner, it’s best to treat her words with caution.

Info about exactly how she’s a bad source is under the cut

Firstly, it's key to talk about LAJ's journalistic background when discussing what sort of writer she is: she's worked for papers such as The Sun, The Daily Mail, and The Mail On Sunday. Essentially, the bulk of her work has been for tabloids and traditionally the writing style for those kinds of publications place an emphasis on sensationalism and gossip. Now obviously that doesn’t discredit her work immediately, authors are usually able to write in more than one style so it doesn’t necessarily mean the tabloid style is going to carry over to her biographies; but it’s good to keep in mind when discussing and analysing the legitimacy of the narratives she creates and the stories she recounts in her work.

LAJ has received criticism in the past, particularly from the queen fandom of often overexaggerating, or just straight presenting false information in her bios about Freddie Mercury. She is the champion of the claim that Freddie was bisexual and not gay. Her evidence for this is over-exaggerating and (seemingly intentionally) misinterpreting the nature of the relationship between Freddie and his friend, Barbara Valentin. LAJ claimed that the two had a relationship and even lived together:

“Barbara was very open with me about the sexual relationship she had with Freddie.”

(x)

(x)

However, no-one in Freddie’s life has ever corroborated that Freddie and Barbara were anything but friends. As for the claim they lived together, according to Peter Freestone, an extremely close friend of Freddie’s:

In the event, Freddie never actually lived there although Barbara fulfilled a huge role in Freddie’s life at that time... Freddie became very disillusioned when with more and more frequency articles were appearing in the German press’s gossip columns... about the relationship between him and Barbara... After one article claiming to have knowledge of him and Barbara getting married, Freddie... concluded that it could only be Barbara who was providing the information.

(x)

This exaggeration of their relationship and the insistence LAJ has on presenting Freddie as bi because of it has attracted criticism from queen fans for obvious reasons. For one, it’s borderline homophobic to essentially lie about a gay man having a relationship with a woman while downplaying his relationships with men. No, she’s not portraying him as a straight man, however it’s still erasure of the specific struggles Freddie would’ve faced being a gay man in his time, therefore those who want to analyse him would be missing some of the picture when trying to understand him and his life

LAJ’s research methods are also... questionable. This is a post from Crystal Taylor (one of Roger Taylor’s roadies) about her methods for her David Bowie bio which, if to be believed is particularly concerning.

(x)

LAJ is also known to greatly exaggerate her own relationships with her subjects. She often claims to have been friends with the people she writes bios about (coincidently the people she does this with are dead.) Back in the day she would meet with artists while on tour so the idea is convincing enough. However besides her word there’s nothing to suggest that she had close friendships with Freddie or Bowie, two people she claimed to be good friends with. There’s also this comment from Brian May which actually goes against the idea that she was close with Freddie:

(x)

So with all of this in mind, let’s look at the quote from The Search For John Lennon that’s been circulating around Beatles tumblr:

That Bowie worshipped Lennon is no secret. He'd banged on about it often enough. The ex-Beatle had gone to his hedonism. They'd met in Los Angeles, during John's Lost Weekend. I lunched from time to time with David in New York while working there as a music journalist, before he married Iman. He lent me his house in Mustique, to write the first draft of my first biography on Freddie Mercury.

The crazy pair went out to play, according to David, when John was on yet another break from May and far away from Yoko. They genderbender-ed about, John indulging again that 'inner fag' of his. What larks.

They later 'hooked up': 'There was a whore in the middle, and it wasn't either of us,' David smirked. 'At some point in proceedings, she left. I think it was a she. Not that we minded.' By the time they made it back to New York, the ambisextrous pair were 'lifelong friends'.

I’m suspicious of this story for several reasons but first I want to make it clear that none of them have to do with John having sex with men or being bisexual. I’m a very firm believer of John’s bisexuality (my username is literally queerlennon lmao) but once again I think it’s good to examine the legitimacy of sources, even when they favour our position.

Firstly, LAJ’s source for this story is the claim that David told her, which considering I can’t find any info about them being friends besides her word, combined with the fact that she’s lied about having close relationships in the past raises a lot of flags.

But even if we assume LAJ isn’t lying and did know Bowie, the quote is still suspect, particularly the line “John was on yet another break from May and far away from Yoko.” According to May in her book Loving John, her and John had only one break from their relationship (the phrase “yet another break” implies multiple) that lasted a week, and for the entirety of that week, John was with Yoko. (x)

Finally, the language LAJ uses to describe John and David’s sexualities not only puts me on edge but very much makes me question her intention. Phrases like “the genderbender-ed about,” “indulged his ��inner fag,’” and “ambisextrous,” all come across to me as fetishisation. Bisexuality is already very highly fetishised and sexualised and LAJ is most definitely not concerned with deviating from that representation. That phrasing combined with the way she also discusses Freddie’s sexuality, where she’s alleged highly sexualised claims about him having threesomes:

And quite often that involved other people as well. Other men, other women. There would be a number of them in the bedroom at any given time. In fact they were raided by the police once and the police stormed in and they found more people than they were expecting to find in the bed that morning.

(x)

— leads me to believe that LAJ is an author less concerned with exploring John’s sexuality as apart of his life, something that made him who he was, and more concerned with including details about “bisexual threesomes” as shock value, as a sensational point she can use to to promote her book in press tours and interviews. Like a tabloid writer. And this sort disrespect representation of John’s queerness, imo isn’t that much better than the biographers who dismiss or underplay it. I totally understand that for a lot of us, finding out new info about John’s queer identity is exciting, especially for those of us who are queer and identify with a lot with John for that reason, myself included. But we shouldn’t be giving credence and legitimacy to someone who firstly, isn’t trustworthy and secondly who’s reason for talking about it is gross and exploitative at best and biphobic at worst.

tl;dr, LAJ is an incredibly untrustworthy source of info and in her own over exaggerations, treats discussions of queerness in an extremely problematic and exploitive way so please take anything you read from her with a massive grain of salt.

#john lennon #the beatles #freddie mercury #queen #david bowie #beatles analysis #lesley ann jones #shut up fable #classic rock #biographies/memoirs #fable’s analysis

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hotchley · 3 years

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balls fair in love and war

So... this is the fic inspired by the AU in this post. Umm... it's a shambles, I low-key hate parts of it, the ending is rushed, but we're going with it before my laptop dies </3

Ignore any and all medical inaccuracies. I did a bit of research, but a lot of it confused me, so... this is not an accurate representation of a concussion. Like seriously. Also ignore any ethical issues, they're just... it's fine. As usual no proofreading. Umm.... don't ask where Rossi is. I don't know.

Taglist (I guess? I don't actually have one, it's just for this lol): @eldrai @willlemonheadsupremacy @shmaptainhotchnersmain @sarcvstiel @unionjackpillow @katytheinspiredworkaholic (you said you would read it so... is that okay?)

A very big and grateful thank you to @aaron-hotchner187 for giving me a title!! And to everyone else that gave suggestions, you are also much loved <3

Also, the way Hotch acts as a teacher is inspired by the way I think @ellyhotchner will be when they become a teacher <3 and everyone go and tell @whump-town thank you because she: told me about penlights, gave me the easy tiger line and is just overall a good person.

Trigger Warnings: concussions, fear of brain hemorrhages, hospitals, self-blame

read on ao3!

Like most things that went wrong in Aaron Hotchner’s life, his current predicament could be blamed on Emily Prentiss. He would not hear otherwise. And he didn’t think he should be forced to hear otherwise, given he was the one sitting on a hospital bed in a thin gown that did nothing to keep him warm, whilst she got to sit outside with a cup of coffee.

She had, admittedly, looked absolutely horrified when the accident occured, and had spent the whole journey to the hospital apologising again and again. He’s pretty sure she offered up her first-born child to him at some point as a form of penance. As well as her apartment. And he definitely remembers hearing something about grading his papers for him.

So whilst he may not want to be anywhere near her offspring- especially if they’re like her- and whilst he may definitely not want her apartment- he doesn’t care what she says, it is haunted- he will be taking her up on that last offer. Did he feel suitably appeased by her squirming the whole time, and by the fact that she was the one that had to explain to the principal why there were two classes screaming, crying and a teacher on the floor?

Yes, but there was no harm in milking it.

If he’s being completely honest, he felt like he was taking advantage of a hospital bed. He was sure he was fine. Yes, it hurts to move his head and he feels dizzy, and he probably has all the symptoms of a minor concussion, but he just really doesn’t want to be in the hospital.

Besides, he needs to make sure the kids aren't traumatised. It can’t have been easy for them, watching him just fall to the ground and hit his head hard enough for there to be blood. Emily could be traumatised, he didn’t care. But their students? Absolutely not.

He sighs. He wants to hand in his resignation now. Going back is going to be so embarrassing.

“I don’t think you understand. He is my best friend, and if he doesn’t get this blanket, he will- Spencer, what will he do if he doesn’t get this blanket?” A voice says from outside.

Aaron closes his eyes. He wants the ground to swallow him up. Forget returning to school, the next few minutes of his life are going to be even more embarrassing than the time Emily tricked him into being part of the Christmas pantomime. Haley hadn’t been offended, thank goodness, but still. It took him three months to be able to meet her eyes.

“He’ll- he’ll- I can’t even say it, it’s just so upsetting,” Spencer lies.

“Ma’am, sir, if you would let me speak for two seconds. Miss Prentiss said that some of her colleagues would be coming with Mr Hotchner’s things. All I am asking for is proof of identity,” the floor receptionist says.

The apologies immediately start to pour from the mouth of Penelope Garcia, whilst Spencer Reid just takes out both their driver's licences. The receptionist clearly approves, because before Aaron knows what’s happening, he’s being embraced by someone who smells like roses, and his favourite blanket is being draped over him.

“Oh my goodness, you don’t know how grateful I am that you’re alive,” Penelope says.

Aaron gives her a slight smile. Penelope is one of his favourite people, despite all their differences. And he likes to think he’s one of her favourites. He wouldn’t be thinking wrong.

“Penelope, I’m fine. Seriously. This is just a precaution. I promise it isn’t that bad,” he says, even though the light is starting to hurt his eyes.

“Isn’t that bad? I saw you and Emily taking your classes outside, which was weird to begin with because you both have classes that don’t require being outside, what were you doing? And then, I’m watching because the class can be trusted to sketch without my guidance and I’m curious. But then I turn my back for three seconds to help someone, and everyone is screaming, and you’re on the floor, and there’s blood everywhere and- it was scary!” she says.

“I’m so sorry,” Aaron says, for lack of anything else to say.

“I don’t want you to be sorry! I want you to stop getting hurt!” Penelope exclaims, whacking him in the shoulder.

“I don’t want you to be sorry either. It was hilarious to watch, my students were in hysterics,” Spencer adds. Penelope glares.

Aaron isn’t surprised. Him and Spencer get on- they even have shared interests- but they also have some of the same classes. And as a result of the different subjects and ways they teach, it seems to them that it is impossible for their students to like them both.

“So, not that I don’t appreciate it, but why are you here?” He asks.

Spencer and Penelope glance at each other, and Hotch feels like he’s dealing with two students that have tried to set up two of his friends.

“Garcia. Reid,” he says. In the same tone he uses when dealing with two students that have tried to set up two of his friends.

“We thought that if we came, JJ wouldn’t, but uhh-” Spencer starts.

JJ bursts into the room before he can finish. “”Hotch! What happened? I mean, I’ve heard what happened because Strauss came and told me the basics, but still. Why were the two of you in the playground? Are you okay? Let me see that bump on your head. I also brought your lunch in case you were peckish.”

“Well basically-”

“Why does Emily look like she’s about to start crying?” Haley asks, entering.

Everyone but JJ turns and stares at her with a slight look of horror. Aaron slides down the bed slightly, hoping the blanket can cover the furious blush that he just knows stains his cheeks. Him and Haley went on a date once, after he asked her in a moment of impulsivity. It was the worst thing he’d ever done, for both of them.

“Oh come on guys, we’re professionals. JJ asked me to come because apparently, Aaron listens to me? I said he’s just too afraid of me to disobey. Which, I meant as a joke, but you do know that I don’t hate you right? Sure, the date was a disaster, but you do know we can still be friends?”

“I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me,” he confesses.

“That’s why I brought her with me. To prove you wrong,” JJ says. “But yes, why is Emily so upset?”

“Because I almost killed my best friend and traumatised our students and I’ve ruined his life and our careers and he can get me fired and press charges, but all I wanted to do was make him laugh, and this is the first place where I’ve felt appreciated, and I’m going to lose it all,” Emily sobs from outside.

“Can you bring her in?” He asks Penelope.

She obliges, and Hotch pats the area next to him. Emily sits beside him, wiping her eyes on the corner of the extra blanket they brought.

“You didn’t almost kill me, it’s a mild concussion at most. Our students have seen worse, and they will be fine. My life is not ruined because you will be doing my grading. I’m not going to get you fired or press charges, and you’re not about to lose any of this. Okay?”

“You always know what to say,” she says.

He ruffles her hair.

“Love you. Platonically,” he tells her.

She gives him a bright smile, and he can feel himself smiling back, less embarrassed about everything.

And then she starts laughing hysterically, and deliberately shoves him, causing him to almost fall out of the bed, only stopped by Haley and Dave each grabbing one of his arms and pushing him back up. Of course, Emily just looks at him like she hasn’t done anything wrong.

“I cannot believe you fell for that. As if I would ever be that upset. Honestly. Haley, maybe I should replace you as drama teacher!”

Haley raises an eyebrow. “Ah yes, because the last time you got others involved in theatre, it ended so well.”

Emily has nothing to say.

Aaron does. He turns and swears in French.

“Naughty boy. Don’t let anyone else hear you. Especially not my class, I told them what that meant after you said it when I stole your stapler and then told you I’d given it to Miss Brooks.”

He pales.

“Speaking of your classes, how did this happen?” Haley asks, clearly sensing the need for a change in topic.

Emily looks at Aaron.

“It was your fault!” he says.

“Well it was your idea!” she counters.

He sighs. “So what happened was…”

Hotch and Emily’s classrooms are next to each other. To Hotch, this is both a blessing and a curse. It means he could keep an eye on her. It also means he had to keep an eye on her. See, Emily isn't irresponsible, and she would never actually endanger her students, but sometimes, she leans towards danger.

How, when she teaches modern languages, is beyond Hotch, but regardless. Strauss had actually hired Emily, not just for her abilities, but because she believed someone needed to keep an eye on Hotch. How the times have changed.

Hotch is on break duty, and he can't see anyone from his class. Which is weird. He tries to keep their lives as stress-free as possible, and he was always willing to help anyone that needs it, but certain assessments could not be avoided. But still, he expects to see at least one of them outside, if only to get a few minutes of fresh air.

Emily smiles at him sympathetically before she walks into her classroom. It is like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over him. Sympathy from Emily isn't comforting. Not when it was aimed at him. If anything, it just makes him more scared. The last time she had looked at him like that, he had explained how his date with Haley had gone from one disaster to another.

And then she laughed.

So he pushes the door open, stepping back in case something fell on him. It wouldn't have been the first time. But nothing does. So he steps into his classroom, expecting to see his eleventh grade literature class doing something suspicious.

They aren't, and suddenly he understands exactly why Emily had looked at him like that.

Because his class has never looked so upset or defeated. And his heart breaks for all of them. It has been a while since he was fifteen, but he wouldn't ever forget the feeling of helplessness that seemed to define his existence. Nor would he forget how everything felt like too much and not enough.

"What happened?" He asks them gently.

Violet, a quiet girl that always tells him what Miss Prentiss had said about him, burst into tears. One of her friends patted her back, but it's clear they didn't quite know what they were doing. Neither does Hotch, but goddammit, these are his kids. Nobody is going to hurt them.

"Hey, it's okay. Do you want to go somewhere else?" He asks her.

She shakes her head. "I just- I want all of this to be over, but then I don't because it means going to college and leaving here and having to grow up, but I just- I have no fucking idea what I'm doing and it's all too much."

He winces at the use of swear words, because he is still a teacher, but that also means he feels a sense of pride that she's able to voice what it is. Because now, he may not be able to fix the situation, but he can help.

"I know. That's okay. That's normal. And you'll work it out. You know, I almost became a lawyer."

She looks up, her eyes red, but starting to sparkle again. "A lawyer."

"Yep, I almost also applied to the FBI Academy. It was actually Miss Prentiss that talked me out of that one. Well, it wasn't really talking but the true story is a little too… inappropriate for school."

"I can't imagine you doing either of those. You'd get bored as a lawyer, and you would never smile as an FBI agent," Clarissa says.

Hotch blinks.

She shrugs like it's the most obvious thing in the world. And then she offers him a piece of candyfloss, which he rejects.

He checks his lesson plan. And then his planner. And then the calendar he keeps on his table. Emily always makes fun of him for being so organised, but Spencer admires it, and that makes him feel cool, so he focuses on that instead.

"I have a compromise. We don't need to do a lesson today, we have more than enough time to cover everything because we're already ahead. I let you do whatever you want for the remainder of the lesson- whether that's colouring or crying or dancing. But you have to do it outside. I didn't see any of you at break."

"Really?" Violet asks.

He nods. "Of course."

Everyone cheers, and grabs their bags, clearly ready to not use their brains for a bit. Aaron gives them the most warm smile he can manage, but he can't help the small surge of guilt that accompanies his lack of realisation.

As his class exits, happily chattering away to each other, Emily pokes her head out the door.

"Mr Hotch, what are you doing, and can I join?"

Immediately, all eyes are on him.

"Please?" Violet asks.

Clarissa pulls out the puppy eyes.

Thomas falls to his knees.

"Oh my god, yes fine, okay, just- everyone be quiet before Strauss finds out and shouts at me," he says.

Emily runs back inside, and soon, they're all just milling about and having fun on the playground. It's nice, both for the students, and the teachers, to have a bit of a break from the world, and to spend a few moments away from it all. Some of them are running around, playing a game of tag, some of them are simply sitting around, and a few are colouring.

"Do you still like playing catch?" Emily asks him.

"What?"

"Catch. Remember, you used to play it with Sean all the time when we were in college."

"I mean yeah, I would probably get involved, but I'm not quite sure-"

"Think fast!" She shouts, and she lobs a netball at him.

The last thing he thinks, moments before his head meets the ground with a large amount of force- enough for there to be a small amount of blood- is: how is it always her? Every single time he gets into a situation, it's her that causes it. That has to be statistically impossible. Maybe he should ask Spencer…

"So yeah! And now I'm here!" He shoves Emily, who has the audacity to look offended.

Penelope kisses his forehead. Haley laughs a little, but Reid just blinks like he can't quite believe how stupid his co-workers are.

"Well. From what I've heard, it was a pretty good shot," JJ comments.

Haley turns to her. "From everything we've just been told, that's what you choose to pick out?"

"I'm a gym teacher, can you really blame me?"

Emily mutters something.

"You were what?" Garcia asks.

"I was aiming for his leg," she repeats.

"Emily. I know you teach languages, not biology, but look at me. Head," Hotch says, pointing at the bump he's not going to cover up, "Leg." He points at his ankle.

"It's always lovely when people know their anatomy. Saves me a lot of time," a new voice says.

Hotch turns in the direction of it, ready to make a snarky comment, but whatever words he had thought of die on his lips as he suddenly feels like he's been transported into a medical drama full of unrealistically attractive protagonists.

Because the doctor who has just walked in is the most handsome man he has ever seen. His smile is easy and genuine, and his eyes seem to twinkle with mischief. And his arms, oh god his arms seem like the safest place to exist. Aaron can't help but wonder what it would be like to have those arms wrapped around him-

His cheeks warm. No.

"Hi, I'm Dr Morgan. But you can all call me Derek. I'm here for Aaron Hotchner. Who I am going to assume, is you," he says, looking straight at Hotch.

"I- yes. How did you know?"

Dr Morgan- Derek- somehow smiles even more. "Well, even though there are far too many people in here- did all of you somehow miss the two people at one time sign- you are the only one in a hospital bed wearing a hospital gown, so. I'm no profiler, but it was pretty easy."

If it's even possible, his cheeks flush more. But one word sticks out to him. "Wait, profiler?"

"You got me. Crime procedurals are my guilty pleasure. I always said that if I joined the FBI, I would become a profiler. Obviously, I went down a very different route."

"Obviously. Wait, too many people? Oh god, I'm so, so sorry, if you need them to leave, they can. In fact, I also feel a lot better, so if you would like me to also go, I really, it's no trouble."

Because he is an idiot- there really is no other justification for this- he tries to stand up. And he does. He also gets a few steps in before the world starts spinning and he almost loses his balance. Derek somehow moves fast enough to guide him back to the bed. Aaron tries and fails to ignore how warm he is.

"Thanks," he whispers, slightly breathless. And not just from almost hurting himself again.

"It's not a problem Aaron. Both things. Your friends can stay, we're just doing some simple checks," Derek says.

"Oh everyone calls him Hotch," Penelope says.

"Aaron is fine. Really." Because he likes Derek calling him Aaron. He wants Derek to call him Aaron.

And then he meets Emily's eyes and he realises his mistake. There's a common denominator that exists with everyone that he tells to call him Aaron, and he knows that she knows what it is. He's fucked.

"Okay then. Well, can you explain to me what happened?"

Aaron is mesmerised by Derek's eyes. So mesmerised that he forgets to answer. "Sorry, what?"

There's a flash of concern, replaced by a smile. "Can you tell me how you ended up here?"

"Oh yes. So, I'm a teacher- so is everyone here. And I- I was outside, with my- my students when Emily- that one there- she, look, it's a really mild concussion, can I just be discharged? I'm sure my students are very, uhh, very scared," he stutters. Why can he never function when he likes someone? It's mortifying.

"I'm sure it is, but you can't blame me for doing my job. I'm going to take your heart rate now, okay? The stethoscope will be cold, but it'll warm up eventually," Derek says.

Aaron nods, and barely flinches when it touches him. If anything, he's more concerned by how close Derek seems to be. Not in a malicious way, but he's always had this deeply irrational fear that if someone got too close to him, they'd be able to read his thoughts. Which would mean Derek can hear both the fact that he has a crush and that he has this fear.

Derek pulls away, and Aaron exhales.

"Your heart rate is unusually fast. Normally that wouldn't be too concerning, because we expect that when patients seem anxious, but you've seemed pretty calm, up till this moment," Derek says, noting how Aaron tenses.

"Is he going to be okay?" Penelope asks.

Derek turns to her. "Of course he is. He's in good hands."

Aaron needs to get his mind out the gutter before his cheeks explode. Or before Emily opens her mouth.

"Aaron, I know you think the concussion is mild, but this is still a requirement. I'm going to turn on this penlight, and I'm going to ask you to follow it with your eyes okay? Follow the light," Derek explains.

He nods, and Derek turns the penlight on. Aaron flinches at the brightness of it, then tenses in slight fear that his lovely doctor is going to be annoyed at him or call him difficult, or sigh and say he needs to stop acting like a child. It wouldn't be the first time,

But Derek doesn't do any of those things. He does something very different.

He places his hand on Aaron's thigh. "Easy tiger. I won't hurt you," he says.

Aaron melts. His eyes drop down to where Derek's hand is warming his skin. He thinks Derek says his name, but he's too busy having a crush to hear him. And then suddenly, his thigh is cold, but Derek is touching his shoulder and he should be shying away from the light being shone in his eyes. But he isn't because he's too busy looking at Derek and his beautiful eyes to even pay attention.

Rather late, he remembers that there is a reason for Derek to be looking at him the way he is, and he tries to follow the light. But the headache he's had since he came around is only getting worse, and the light isn't helping.

Derek isn't smiling anymore.

"Aaron. Be very honest with me. You've displayed difficulty with coordination, memory and speech. If I asked you whether or not you felt sick or nauseous, what would your answer be?"

Normally, he would just under exaggerate, but Derek seems to genuinely care. So he chooses to be honest.

"Yes?"

Derek's eyes widen. "Aaron, I don't want to alarm you, but I like to keep my patients informed. You're going to have a CT scan done immediately, and there's a chance you may be rushed into emergency surgery."

Everyone, including Emily, starts to panic, but Derek leaves the room to grab a nurse to help, and to tell someone else to make sure there's a clear room. Aaron isn't completely sure what's happening, but his head is killing him, so he lays down again. It only helps a small amount.

For Aaron, the CT scan isn't too bad. If he knew the reason it was being done, and that it wasn't a routine procedure, he would probably have spent the whole time panicking. But he doesn't, and so he sits there- well lies there- with a slight smile on his face. The migraine he's had has been getting worse, so keeping his eyes closed for such an extended period of time is actually quite enjoyable.

It is far less enjoyable for everyone that is upstairs, waiting to find out whether or not their friend has a brain hemorrhage. That's what Derek told them after Aaron was carted away, still seeming very out of it. They needed to test him for a brain bleed. And if he had one, then it would just be a case of waiting to see whether they could treat him. And even if they could treat him, it wasn't guaranteed that he would get back to normal.

Emily, in spite of all of her teasing comments, isn't coping. Because it's still early, the floor is relatively quiet, and Derek is technically on his lunch break, so he's sitting with them in an attempt to provide them with some sort of comfort. He's not sure where this emotional attachment to these random people has come from, but it's formed itself and now he's determined to provide some comfort.

"I really was aiming for his leg," Emily whispers.

"Hmm?" Derek asks, not quite following.

"When I threw the ball, I really was aiming for his leg. He had lost consciousness by this point, but I started crying when he hit the ground. He forgave me. He told me he loved me, platonically that is, and I laughed at him. He's going to die, and he isn't going to know how much he meant to me."

"He's not going to die. He may not even have a brain bleed. But if he does, we're going to save him, and you're going to be able to spend the rest of your life telling him how much he means to you. I promise," Derek says.

Even though there are tears in her eyes, Emily turns to him and smiles. "You're a good man, Dr Morgan."

"That's all I've ever wanted, Miss Prentiss. So thank you. It means a lot to me." And it does. He replays the moment as he goes over to Spencer and Penelope, who he feels a strange sense of protection over. Like he needs to protect them from everything, which is weird, because once Aaron is discharged, he'll probably never see them again.

That shouldn't make him sad, but it does.

"Mr Hotchner's CT scan came back normal. There's no sign of a brain bleed," the nurse tells them, what feels like a lifetime later.

There's a collective sigh of relief, and when he's wheeled back in, looking tired but alive, Emily throws her arms around her best friend, who lets out a soft sound of surprise. Like he's not quite used to the fact that people love him. Derek smiles. His patient will be in good hands when he gets discharged.

"Wait, so what caused all of those problems?" Spencer asks.

The nurse shrugs. "It's probably as simple as: his concussion was more severe than we initially thought, but not as bad as we feared."

"Oh."

"And on that note, Aaron, we're keeping you overnight for observation. It's just to be safe. We can't be too careful. You gave everyone a very big scare when you got sent out," Derek says.

Aaron cannot, and will not, confess. Does he feel guilty? Yes. But he can live with the guilt. He cannot live with the all-encompassing shame that will come with explaining that actually, the reason he was stuttering and failing the penlight test was because of a silly little crush.

"Okay," he says, determined to be as compliant as possible.

"One- and only one- of you is welcome to stay with him, if you'd like," Derek adds.

Haley's eyes light up. "I'll do it! Jessica can bring me my things, and maybe you'll be able to look at me after we've spent another night together. Only this time, nobody's getting pneumonia. I hope so, at least. You're not cold are you?"

Aaron shakes his head. "But you really don't need to stay. I'll be fine on my own. Seriously."

"I know, but I want to. Believe it or not, I do actually enjoy your company."

He smiles.

"We should all be getting a move on. Jason and Erin will want updates, and I have lots of marking," JJ says. She kisses Hotch on the forehead before walking to the door, smiling at Derek for looking after her friend so well.

Spencer waves from where he's standing and Penelope showers him with affection. Emily is the only one that seems hesitant to leave.

"Can I stay till visiting hours end?" She asks.

"Do you feel like you can keep up with these two lovely ladies Aaron?" Derek asks.

Aaron has never enjoyed the sound of his name as much as he does when it comes from the doctor. "I- sure," he stutters, and he just knows his cheeks are a stupid colour. Emily frowns, as though she finds something suspicious.

Derek smiles. "Good man. I'll be back in a few hours to run the same tests as before. For now, take it easy."

Derek doesn't come back a few hours later, because he has other patients. It's a different doctor, and Aaron is both relieved and disappointed. Because on the one hand, he's not going to create another medical crisis, on the other, he wants to see Derek again.

Maybe he can get Emily to knock him out again…

"Your heart rate seems completely normal. And you followed the penlight exceptionally well, so I believe we have nothing to fear. Of course, you'll stay overnight, and we'll run these tests once more before you're discharged tomorrow, but I think we're out of the woods now," they say.

Emily gasps, and Aaron knows he's screwed. Luckily, both the doctor and Haley seem to not have heard, and she leaves with the doctor, so Aaron doesn't have to know right at that moment whether his suspicions are correct.

"Night Hotchner," Haley says a few minutes later.

Hotch is already asleep.

The entire team comes and collects him from the hospital.

Aaron is just grateful they're sending him home with a pack of all the things he now needs to do, because he spent the whole lecture admiring how handsome Derek looks with sun shining down on him that he didn't take any of it in. It's also Derek's signature on the discharge papers. He's reminded of high school, when he and his friends would make fake marriage certificates. Not that he's going to do that.

"Bye Aaron. I don't want to see you here any time soon, okay?" Derek teases.

"I won't make any promises," he replies, just relieved he does it without stuttering or blushing.

Derek smiles, and the twinkle in his eyes seems even more mischievous. "Miss Prentiss," he says, spotting Emily.

"Dr Morgan," she responds. She's smirking.

When Aaron asks her what was going on, she doesn't answer. Haley says it's probably linked to the emotions of the previous day, and she's usually good at reading these situations, so he doesn't push any further. Besides, he's too busy catching up with the meetings he missed, and the antics of his students, because a lot happened in the three days he was off, to give it much thought.

Two weeks pass, and the incident is almost completely forgotten.

But then he walks back into his classroom, having just finished a meeting, and he finds flowers on his desk. Tulips. His favourite. He immediately pulls the note out, and when he opens it, he almost wonders if he's concussed it.

Because he knows that signature. He's been staring at it for fourteen days. It's Derek's.

"Surprise. Aaron," a voice says for the doorway.

"How- what- I- what?"

Derek Morgan, still in scrubs and a white coat, smiles at him. "Want to pick a question I can actually answer?"

"How did you- what are you doing here? And why?"

"Well, you should thank Emily. After the other doctor took your heart rate, she came and told me her suspicion. Apparently, you always say you're Hotch. Even the students call you Mr Hotch. Which is strange, because I call you Aaron. And, you shouldn't have done the penlight flawlessly if you had a more severe concussion. So she thinks you have a crush. I didn't want to be unethical, so those flowers can simply mean: I hope you're coping. If you don't have a crush that is."

"What if I do?" Aaron asks, surprised at his own boldness.

"Then I would ask if I could kiss you before I take you out to dinner," Derek says, not missing a beat.

"And if I said yes?"

Derek takes three long strides, and he kisses Aaron like it's something he was made to do. Aaron melts against him, trying to memorise him as quickly as he can, before he realises he has all the time in the world to do that. Because Derek is going to take him out to dinner. Derek, who brought him flowers.

"That was- wow. Wait. You have a crush on me too!" Aaron exclaims with a grin.

"Of course I do," Derek says.

That stuns Aaron back into silence. "Wow," he whispers to himself.

Derek hugs him, and being in his arms is everything- no more- than Aaron imagined it to be. "I'm glad you're okay," he says.

"I'm glad you don't hate me," Aaron says, because he really doesn't know what else to say.

Derek laughs, and Aaron can't wait to find all the ways he can make that happen.

"We should say thank you to Emily at some point. If she didn't know you as well as she does, she wouldn't have realised you had a crush. And if she wasn't so terrifying when she wants something good for her friends, I wouldn't have sent the flowers."

"Can we say thank you later? I want to stay like this for a few moments," Aaron whispers, snuggling closer to his new boyfriend.

"Of course we can," Derek says, kissing his forehead.

When they eventually make it to Derek's car- Aaron can come back tomorrow and get his, it'll be fine, Aaron realises he has one more thing to say.

"Derek?"

"Yes, sweetness?"

Well. That makes him feel things he won't confess too, because he needs something to make him seem the slightest bit cool.

"I'm really sorry I made you think I had a brain hemorrhage."

Derek's laughter is so real that Aaron can't help but join in, and they end up not starting the car for five minutes because it would be irresponsible to drive in that state. And it's only when they're pulling out that they both realise something: Derek gets to see Aaron's family again, and Emily didn't need to hit him in the head again for him to get to see Derek again.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #hotchgan #mortch #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #tw concussion #tw brain hemorrhages #tw hospitals #tw self blame

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song-of-oots · 3 years

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Fuchsia Groan: my (un)exceptional fave

A while ago a friend of mine was asking for people to name their favourite examples of strong female characters, and my mind immediately leapt to Gormenghast’s Fuchsia Groan because it always does whenever the words “favourite” and “female character” come up in the same sentence. In fact scratch that, if I had to pick only one character to be my official favourite (female or otherwise) it would probably be Fuchsia. There are not sufficient words in the English language to accurately describe how much I love this character.

The issue was that I’m not sure Fuchsia Groan can accurately be described as “strong”, and until my friend asked the question, it hadn’t even occurred to me to analyse her in those terms…

Actually this isn’t completely true; Mervyn Peake does describe Fuchsia as strong in terms of her physical strength on multiple occasions. But in terms of her mental strength things are less clear cut. She’s certainly not a total pushover, and anyone would probably find it tough-going to cope with the neglect, tragedy and misuse she suffers through. In fact, this is something Mervyn Peake mentions himself – whilst also pointing out that Fuchsia is not the most resilient of people:

“There were many causes [to her depression], any one of which might have been alone sufficient to undermine the will of tougher natures than Fuchsia’s.”

Anyway, this has gotten me thinking about Fuchsia’s other traits and my reasons for loving her, going through a typical sort of list of reasons people often give for holding up a character as someone to admire:

So, is Fuchsia particularly talented?

No.

Is she clever, witty?

She’s definitely not completely stupid, and her insights occasionally take other characters by surprise, but she’s not really that smart either.

Does she have any significant achievements? Overcome great adversity?

Not really, no.

Is she kind?

Yes. Fuchsia is a very loving person and sometimes displays an incredible sensitivity and compassion for others. But… she can also be self-absorbed, highly strung, and does occasionally lash out at other people (especially in her younger years).

So why do I love Fuchsia so much?

Well, I’ll start be reiterating that I don’t really have the vocabulary to adequately put it into words, but I will try to get the gist across. So:

“What Fuchsia wanted from a picture was something unexpected. It was as though she enjoyed the artist telling her something quite fresh and new. Something she had never thought of before.”

This statement summarises not only Fuchsia but also the way I feel about her (and for that matter the Gormenghast novels in general). Fuchsia is something I’ve never really seen before. On the surface, she fits the model of the somewhat spoiled but neglected princess, and yet at the same time she cannot be so neatly pigeon-holed. It’s not just that her situation and the themes of the story make things more complex (though that is a factor); Fuchsia herself is so unique and vividly detailed that she manages to be more than her archetype. She feels like a real person and, like all real people, she is not so easy to label.

Fuchsia is also delightfully strange in a way that feels very authentic to her and the setting in general (which is particularly refreshing because it can all too often feel as though female characters are only allowed to be strange in a kooky, sexy way - yet Fuchsia defies this trend).

She’s a Lady, but she’s not ladylike. She’s messy. She slouches, mooches, stomps and stands in awkward positions. Her drawing technique is “vicious” and “uncompromising”. She chews grass. She removes her shoes “without untying the laces by treading on the heels and then working her foot loose”. She’s multi-faceted and psychologically complex. Intense and self-absorbed, sometimes irrational and ruled by her emotions more than is wise, but also capable of insight and good sense that takes others by surprise. She is extremely loving and affectionate, and yet so tragically lonely. Simultaneously very feminine and also not. Her character development from immature teenager to adult woman is both subtle and believable. She has integrity and decency – she doesn’t need to be super clever or articulate to know how to care for others or stand up for herself.

Fuchsia is honest. She knows her own flaws, but you never catch her trying to put on airs or make herself out to be anything other than what she is. She always expresses her feelings honestly.

She’s not sexualised at all. I don’t mean by this that she has no sexuality – though that’s something Peake only vaguely touches on – but I don’t really feel like I’m looking at a character who was written to pander to the male gaze (though her creator is male, I get the vibe he views her more as a beloved daughter than a sexual object).

Finally, I find her highly relatable. I am different to Fuchsia in many ways, but we do have several things in common that I have never seen so vividly expressed in any other character. This was incredibly important to me when I was a teenager struggling through the worst period of depression I ever experienced – because she was someone who I could relate to and love in a way I was incapable of loving myself. Her ability to be herself meant a lot to me as someone struggling with my own identity and sense of inadequacy. It didn’t cure my depression, but it helped me survive it.

What am I trying to say with all this?

I love Fuchsia on multiple levels. I love her as a person and also as a character and a remarkable piece of writing. I mention some of the mundane details Peake uses to flesh out her character firstly because I enjoy them, but also because it’s part of the point. Her story amazes me because it treats a female character and her psychological and emotional life with an intense amount of interest regardless of any special talents or achievements she happens to exhibit. She doesn’t fit the model of a modern heroine but neither does she need to – she’s still worth spending time with and caring about.* To me the most important things about Fuchsia are how different and interesting and relatable she is – and how real she feels.

* To be honest, this is part of the point of the Gormenghast novels in general. The story is meant to illustrate the damage that society – and in particular rigid social structures and customs – can do to individuals with its callous indifference to genuine human need. Fuchsia is one of many examples of this throughout the novels. These characters don’t need to be exceptionally heroic in order to matter – they just need to exist as believable people. And despite how strange they all are, they often do manage to be fundamentally relatable.

Why am I talking about female characters in particular here?

The focus on “strong” female characters and the critique against that is pretty widely acknowledged. Growing up, I definitely noticed the lack of female characters in popular media and the ensuing pressure this then places on the ones that do exist to be positive representations of womankind – someone girls can look up to. It’s very understandable that we want to see more examples of admirable female protagonists, given that women were traditionally left to play support roles and tired stereotypes. The problem is that the appetite for more proactive female heroines can sometimes lead to characters who are role models first and realistic human beings second (characters who I mentally refer to as Tick-All-The-Boxes Heroines). It’s not a problem with “strong” proactive heroines per se, but rather lack of variation and genuine psychological depth (not to mention a sometimes too-narrow concept of what it even means to be strong).

Male characters tend not to have this particular problem because they are much better represented across the whole range of roles within a story. You get your fair share of boring worn out archetypes. You get characters who are meant to represent a positive version of heroic masculinity (and now that I come to think of it, having a very narrow and unvarying presentation of what positive masculinity looks like is its own separate problem, but outside the scope of this particular ramble). We don’t usually spend time obsessing over whether a piece of fiction has enough examples of “strong” male characters though, because we’re generally so used to seeing it that we automatically move on into analysing the work and the characters on other terms. And because there are often more male characters than female, they don’t all bear the burden of having to be a positive representative of all men everywhere. They exist to fulfill their roles, and often exhibit more variety, nuance and psychological depth. They are also often allowed to be weird, flawed and unattractive in ways that women usually aren’t (which is a damn shame because I’ve spent my whole life feeling like a weird outsider and yet this perspective is so often told primarily through a male lens).

Tl:dr; Fuchsia Groan is a character who feels like an answer to so many of those frustrations that I felt growing up without even truly understanding why. A large part of why I love her is simply because of how much I relate to her on a personal level. I admire her emotional honesty and her loving nature… But there’s also a part of me that was just so relieved to find a female character who exists outside of the usual formulae we seem to cram women into. She is unique, weird and wonderful (but non-sexualised). Psychologically nuanced and vividly written. She isn’t exceptionally heroic or talented or a high achiever – but she does feel like a real person.

Female characters don’t need to tick all the right boxes in order to be interesting or worth our time any more than the male ones do.

#fuchsia groan #gormenghast #mervyn peake #female characters #mental health #depression #long

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iamnotawomanimagod · 4 years

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Hollywood is not a show about recreating history. It’s a show about rewriting history.

It’s a show about telling the stories that were there all along, and about what it might have looked and felt like if people had been successful.

Those untold stories, and their “what could have beens.” The hushed-up diversity of identities in the history of American media, which is an absolute reality, not just present-day wishful thinking retroactively inserted for woke points.

People like us - queer people, people of color, and those few true allies who see us as the complex and emotional human beings that we are - have always existed, and will always exist.

Our histories are painful. They’re filled with slow, difficult progress, with violence and cruelty and endless obstacles.

But what if it hadn’t been that way?

What if we’d been able to overcome so many of those obstacles during the Golden Era of Hollywood?

Golly gee, isn’t that a dream?

That’s the story Ryan Murphy wanted to tell, and he does so brilliantly.

Are the characters accurate representations of who those people were in history? No. Much like with most of Ryan Murphy’s work, Hollywood is a fictionalized version of reality, a hyper-vibrant and clever and smooth representation of real events. It’s far from the first time he’s taken liberties with “the truth” - anyone who’s seen his American Crime Story series or even certain fictionalized representations of real people in American Horror Story will already be familiar with the way he inserts real-life figures in order to root his fantastical stories in reality. It’s a hallmark of his work (and part of why I personally am drawn to so many of his stories, but I digress.)

Unlike many of Murphy’s past works, however, Hollywood is far from the bleak, dark tale one might expect it to be. It’s one of the most inspiring and emotionally fulfilling pieces of media I’ve seen in a long, long time.

This is not a story about the dark, depressing, real history of the slow march towards diverse representation in media. Rather, it’s a wish-fulfillment style fantasy that asks the question -

What if - instead of being beaten down, of being pushed over the edge, of having to suffer in silence - what if those who were most oppressed and least represented in media at this time (and to this day) had risen up? Had been able to become the stars they should have been all along? What if they’d known recognition, representation, and accolades way back at the dawn of the Golden Era of Hollywood?

And it asks this question to make us know how it would feel. Not to show us what would’ve happened, and how it would’ve changed the world. We already know that. No, this story exists purely to give us that incredible warmth and pride that fills you from your toes to your scalp when you see people like you succeed, and it lets us glimpse, for a moment, how it would feel if that had happened when it was already long overdue, 70 years ago.

As it turns out, it feels fucking incredible. And it hurts so goddamn much that it isn’t real.

Many viewers have commented about crying throughout the final episode, so I was bracing myself for some horrific and tragic twist - but it never came. You can trust the title of the final episode - “A Hollywood Ending” - to deliver exactly that.

What makes it special and important and unique is who that happy ending is for.

Black men, black women, Asian women, gay men, and the elderly. Every dream they could ever want - success, love, acceptance, bravery, joy - all of it was delivered to them, without caveat within the story. It isn’t too late for anyone. Nobody is ever brutally punished for being true and honest about themselves. The show ends in a black-and-white shot and the words “The Beginning.”

Within the story, it’s perfect. It’s Hollywood. A happy ending.

But it’s still a Ryan Murphy story. The setting is intentional, because the late 1940s were such a pivotal time for American media and for American culture. The heartbreak, the real-world caveat, comes when you wake up from “Dreamland,” and remember reality.

I had to pause and cry for a good five minutes when Hattie McDaniel says to Camille: “They let me in the room this time.” As far as I know, that never happened for her.

Or when Anna May Wong got her Oscar. That didn’t happen for her.

Or when Roy and Archie walked the red carpet hand-in-hand, an interracial gay couple in 1947. Obviously, that never happened for anyone.

But god, do you know how good it felt to imagine? To see it? To dream?

And not only did we get to see those huge, satisfying moments - we got to see an in-world context of how it might’ve affected people alive back then. A poor immigrant Chinese family; a solitary black gay writer; a black family, particularly a little black girl - we get to watch them all explode with joy and happy tears and acceptance as they’re seen, for the first time, by America at large.

That didn’t happen in 1947. It has barely even happened now.

That’s why Hollywood is intentionally “unrealistic,” why it rewrites history. Why the opening credits sequence shows all of this downtrodden people working together to lift each other up the Hollywood sign, to catch each other when they slip, to watch each other when they take the leap - and to enjoy the gorgeous, golden glow of the city together when they reach the top.

It’s about community, bravery, and fighting the good fight. And it’s about winning.

This is the first piece of escapist media I’ve seen in a long time, and it is a tenderly written love letter to queer, elderly, and poc creatives.

That’s worth a million times more than so-called realism ever will be.

#if anyone tries to tell me this show wasn't good I will FIGHT them #this was fuckin' brilliant #this might be the best thing Ryan Murphy has ever done #hollywood #netflix hollywood #ryan murphy #hollywood spoilers

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christinaroseandrews · 3 years

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It’s hard being transgender in Japan.

Just as Ryo who is struggling to be himself when everyone around him thinks he’s weird or out of place. He’s the nail that sticks up, and in Japan, the nail that sticks up gets hammered down.

But things start to change when Jin, a cool older student, is forced to repeat a year. At first Ryo thinks Jin will be like everyone else, but Jin sees him and more... accepts him. Jin thinks that Ryo is cool, has good taste, and is the perfect person to form a clothing brand with him.

Huh... I guess boys really do run the riot. Hmm... that sounds like a pretty cool brand name. ~_^

Boys Run the Riot is an #OwnVoices manga written by a transgender mangaka that has honestly one of the best representations of what LBGTQIA+ life is like in Japan.

It’s also got some of the most gorgeous and amazing art I’ve ever seen in manga. The character design is so well done. But even more than that the sheer amount of detail and thought put into every panel is honestly stellar. The very first panel setting the scene in a subway station is so incredibly accurate that you can actually pinpoint which subway station it is from the details.

The whole manga is like this. Not necessarily in color... but the artwork is so beautiful.. so in depth and filled with so much meaning. It’s on par with the art that was in Spider-man Into the Spider-verse... There’s an absolutely beautiful piece of graffiti that Ryo does that quite frankly brought tears to my eyes.

Like it’s so, so very good.

I don’t want to spoil it so instead I’ll share a close up of the artwork from the cover...

The way the clothing is rendered. The graffiti on the walls. The shift in clothing depending on what’s in the background. It’s honestly amazing art.

And that matters.

But what matters more is the beauty and relatability of Ryo. Ryo feels real. He feels true. He’s got flaws and foibles but he’s also lovable and caring and has an inner-resilience that makes me want to give him a hug and tell him he’s valid. But I don’t need to, because he’s got an amazing ally and friend in Jin. I feel that all of us need a Jin in our lives. A friend who wants to be with us because they think we’re cool and want us to live our best lives. A friend who will accept us for who we are. A friend who will call us out on our B.S. A friend who wants you to be honest with them because they’ll be honest with you. A friend who will forgive you when you mess up.

Seriously we need a Jin.

What Jin and Ryo have is a true bromance... not a romance. Ryo has a crush on his other friend, Chika, who is a little weird herself but she owns it.

This manga also really hits what it’s like to be transgender in a fairly sexist society. Because, let’s face it... Japan is pretty darn sexist... worse than the United States. Whereas in the states it’s okay to have friends of all genders, it’s less okay in Japan. Especially as teens. It’s hard to be a transgender teen anywhere. It’s hard to be transgender in Japan.And it’s really well represented here. There are some other content warnings that people should be aware of: CW: Transphobia, Homophobia, Sexism, Misogyny. Gender Dysphoria, physical violence (teacher on student), bullying. I also really appreciated the author interview at the back of the manga. The fact that the cover was created specifically for the English release is kind of cool to know.

BTW read the liner notes. Seriously. Read the liner notes. There’s some really great information there. A+ for the publisher for doing this.

This manga is stellar. Magnificent. More people need to know about it. I also really appreciated the author interview at the back of the manga.

Seriously... read this.

Five Stars

If this is your jam, you can get it here.

If you like these kind of honest reviews, please consider supporting us here!

I received an ARC of this manga via NetGalley

#manga review #transgender fiction #transgender characters #young adult fiction #ownvoices #coming of age story #high school #cw: transphobia #cw: gender dysphoria #cw: bullying #cw: sexism #japan #keito gaku #Five stars #Rose and Lark review books

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nataliekabra · 3 years

Note

Answer these when you feel up to it! Also don't feel obligated 💖💖💖

COUNTDOWN TO CAZZIE/ATYPICAL:

In honor of me and my homies eagerly awaiting atypical I will have a special ask for each day until the new season-

Who's your favorite character? When did you know? And what character trait do you like most about them? 💖

HI MEG (this looks like such a fun idea skjdjsfhkgj IM SO EXCITED) (okay full disclosure this is gonna get a little rambly)

izzie (zahid is a semi-close second)! okay so basically just a little over a year ago i was blessedly recommended this video called "casey and izzie being gay disasters for seven minutes straight" set to wii music on my yt feed (it's now my favourite comfort video of all time and i watch it every week/whenever i need the extra serotonin) and oh my god I'd never related to anything as hard before?! I swear to god it made me blush (which never happens fyi) and smile so goddamn hard to myself and I FELL IN LOVE WITH THEM OKAY LIKE I'D LITERALLY NEVER SEEN SUCH ACCURATE SAPPHIC REPRESENTATION ON SCREEN BEFORE (with the sole exception of my spirit animal, elena maria alvarez riera calderon layte-vidal inclan of course)

anywayyy then I proceeded to find a playlist of every cazzie scene ever and binged the whole thing till 3am?! which is what got me to watch the show and subsequently fall in love with everyone else. but skdjfhksjdgh izzie is like the one character in the weird intersection of "she is ME" and "i have a huge crush on her" because SHE'S SO CUTE especially with casey and im in love with her laugh and the way she expresses that she cares and she just always makes me smile but also...I relate to her so damn hard?! I love her whole arc and just everything about her. i love how she's honest with casey but doesn't expect anything from her ("even if you don't feel the same way you could at least be there for me as a friend" and "i understand if you don't wanna do...this") and "my brain betrays me sometimes" BECAUSE YES EXACTLY THIS IS ME?! and I've never seen a character express something like that before. and the fact that she always apologizes and tries to communicate and fights against her head and her instincts and her internalized homophobia because she cares about casey so much...she's the epitome of flawed but trying and that hit hard and really gave me a lot of comfort and hope?! I can't express how much it means to me to see a character who doesn't/can't always do the right thing and has to struggle to fight against her brain and environment but takes accountability and tries and fights for what she cares about and works on herself instead of giving up...making the choice to care even if she doesn't expect the other person to understand. she's just such a nuanced and relatable and gorgeous character and she means the world to me <3

#meg <3 #skjdjfhkjsdfh i love this let's go cazzie nation x #who's your favourite character?#cazzie #atypical

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winxlava · 3 years

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Where Fate: the Winx saga fails

As a winx fan of 14 years (in and out), this fate thing is really scandolous. I’ve seen lots of ups and downs the winx fandom. As I’ve watched all of the development that fate had, I've had some thoughts, but I’ve waited until I watched everything.

This is going to be a reaction to all 6 episodes of Fate the Winx saga. This is coming from a fan of the og show so expect lots of comparisons.

If this bothers you, please don't keep reading. A lot of this is only my opinion. If you like it and think its great, that’s good! I’m not here to ruin it.

There is a list of what I liked most near the bottom of this post. Spoilers Ahead!!

Anyway, back to the post.

What made the Winx work

Lets start with the basic idea of Winx. Bloom, a normal girl, finds out that she has magic powers and is from another dimension. Seems like a simple concept? Well, Seasons 1-3 (and 4?) expanded this idea to the max.

Likeable characters galore and lots of fun, fashion, and magic.

For a lot of us that’s what sold the show.

So lets talk about tone and why its so important

The idea that teenage girls were exploring a world we could never see or experience. And the darkness that came with it.

Remember when Daphne, bloom’s dead sister, clung to life to help bloom figure her life out? When bloom became evil and nearly killed all of her friends? When Flora drowned to save her sister, only to get enchantix? (Actually all of enchantix was like this). When Musa gave up seeing her dead mom to save the world? When nabu died?

The show was full of these small, intense, dark moments. That’s what made winx special. The light came with dark.

By making the show dark and “eDgy” it takes away the impact of the dark moments. I’ve been saying this since the beginning.

Point of view and how Stella is affected

Stella was very misunderstood in the remake and it shows. The thing is, Stella was the first entry point into the magical world in the original show. She carried Bloom and her parents to Alfea. She was the transfer point to a whole world for the audience.

Her spunk and optimism and snark made her a fan favorite, but that’s not what made her character work.

She was Bloom’s first friend, and because of the that, we saw her in a good lens. She was reckless, but a pure heart nonetheless. She was confident, cunning, and powerful.

It was because we saw the good in her first that made us like her. She was good before she was bad in our eyes.

The remake takes all of that away. She’s just a generic mean rich girl now. To be honest, Stella is accurate, but the way she was introduced put her in a whole new light. In this version, she is annoying and trifling, seemingly taking the place of Diaspro in her liking for sky.

Also she hates her mother? Stella would never! She loved both of her parents dearly and was mad simply because she felt they never loved her as a result of their divorce; they never talked to each other and she felt split between the two of them. (See Stella’s nightmares sequence season 1 :https://youtu.be/wuvyw0OHA6A?t=129). She was lonely and her father, though he loved her, spoiled her with gifts instead of the love she desired.

You see this side of her when Chimera comes in and tries to take her place in season 3. Her worth is tied to what she has and looks like. Her title as a princess rules her.

Not only that, Stella learns about “commoners” through her friends. She was spoiled and never saw people who couldn’t afford things; it was new and she was a bit rude about it, but can you blame her, she was always put above everything else in her home country.

https://www.youtube.com/post/UgzCfOQ696rvwa51Z_J4AaABCQ?lc=UgzCDSxfcNaP9XogBSB4AaABAg

https://www.youtube.com/post/UgzCfOQ696rvwa51Z_J4AaABCQ?lc=Ugxl_sOsUSGBXEwagxJ4AaABAg

^^ These are comments of people saying similar things.

Stella also vents to Sky a lot in the remake. She seems like she is chasing him pitifully, something og Stella would never do.

Edit: Check the “liked” section; she has been upgraded to sort of like in episodes 5 and 6.

Aisha

They did Aisha dirty as well. (Just like Bonnie from Vampire Diaries, why am I surprised?) I would write a lot here, but someone else summarized it well:

https://rainbow-whitewashing-jar.tumblr.com/post/639787632624369664/its-just-there-is-so-much-background-on-aisha.

https://www.youtube.com/post/Ugx4WL5rIPTS1suGOed4AaABCQ

Tldr: Aisha was a very lonely princess of Andros. She only had one friend growing up but then they moved away and she was lonely all over again. She copes with her princess duties by being great at sports and even beating some of the men! She stood up to her parents when they wanted her to be arranged married, until she fell in love with Nabu HERSELF. She decided her own future from that point on.

Also, her relevance to the plot has been dwindled to being Bloom's right hand man; the black best friend sterotype! What a let down for one of the PRINCESSES of the original!

She had her own goals, drive, and motivations in the original! She did things for all of her friends; she definitely wasn't only driven by one person!

And she was closer to Musa than Bloom that's for sure!

Bloom

The fact that bloom transforms before everyone else gives bad vibes, considering that one of the reasons she was insecure about magic was because everyone of her friends was better than her and could transform. Why would she feel insecure when they are all around the same level?

The theme of sisterhood

Ever notice that none of the girls had the same taste in guys?

Bloom liked goody guys like Sky and Andy. Stella liked guys who were fun and flirty like Brandon.

In fact, none of the girls ever fought over a guy, they fought over things that actually mattered like someone being rude or a mission gone wrong.

That's what made them relatable. They weren't petty about guys and they mostly respected each other's relationships.

https://www.youtube.com/post/Ugz6TEOmGRV2Cfqy12F4AaABCQ?lc=UgwhLsToVbhLDYpFphB4AaABAg

^^ Look at highlighted comment

Not only that, but the winx represented a positive sisterhood. They stood by each other and respected each other; they never let men come between them and shared their power with each other.

Only the trix, the bad sisterhood, fought over men and power. The trix were foils to the winx and what they stood for! That's what made them some of the best villains in the series!

Instead of that, we get useless relationship drama! 😒

And that brings me to...

Stella/Sky/Bloom & Riven/Dane/Terra

What was the point of Dane? I'm still asking myself that question. He doesn't really do anything except act as relationship fuel for a love triangle.

Don't get me wrong, the representation is needed. But he adds nothing to the real plot at all except that Terra thinks he likes her, and he has a crush on Riven.

In terms of the Stella and Bloom love triangle with Sky, apparently she BLINDED someone because they flirted with sky. What?!? Stella isn't that cruel at all. The show clearly flanderized her to a cruel mean girl so....

Edit: Check the “liked” section; she has been upgraded to sort of like in episodes 5 and 6.

Lets not forget about “diversity”

Male fairies did exist before Fate:

https://www.youtube.com/post/UgziTWMf44kv0fkDt8x4AaABCQ

https://www.youtube.com/post/UgxWAFZRmqt_k3iBMhZ4AaABCQ

Flora/Terra, Musa, and Whitewashing

Terra and Musa are wonderful! Their actress' do a great job; their personalities are so similar to the original (except for musa's mind abilities and Terra's talkative personality)! Whenever one of them interacts with the other main cast, you feel actual friendship chemistry between them!!

But there is an elephant in the room: the whitewashing. If these characters were the correct race, they wouldn't be in this critical review.

Terra isn't flora, but her character was clearly based on her! Also, she has a cousin named Flora, so Flora is clearly in this universe.

Why change her race and swap her out! The personalities are spot on, which makes it even more disheartening to know that they would rather replace two POC characters with white characters who essentially are the same people and have the same plot importance.

What a shame and low blow that is! Especially since I am a black woman myself!

Sky and Riven

Them being bros make no sense really. Before they were more like enemies who were forced to work together.

Why are they friends?? What's the backstory?

Other than that, sky is pretty spot on. He's the pretty boy with good intentions. Not interesting but not very boring either.

Riven is cringy like I feared. He was also sort of cringe in the og but because of the darker setting in the remake he just feels even more so.

Other Criticisms:

- we gets some pretty cringy dialogue (mostly from riven). Some of the clingy dialogue (not from riven) ironically could have worked in a lighter setting and become "campy".

- The fact that there are no wings for 5 whole episodes, just makes the entire thing feel like Witches or something...

- why does everyone have the dead parent trope??

- no tecna

Things I do like:

- bloom missing her parents and feeling left out

- Musa and Sam before Musa and Riven (hopefully)

- Terra in general

- Terra’s dad and brother

- Musa in general

- Stella funny quips

- the scenery is gorgeous

- Stella's clothes are so fashionable! She has great outfits!

- Sky and Bloom taking during the party and/or being friendly with each other

- the magic cgi looks good 👍

- the rooms of the girls dorms and the castle looks great on the inside

- Aisha's personality

- Farrah Dowling is good as well

- Bloom is pretty spot on

- Stella's mom's powers are awesome

- imagine the genocide plot but with the happy fun show vibe and with the trix. The trix want to get revenge on faragonda for killing their cult, who wanted to revive the ancestral witches or something💥💥💥

- Stella in episodes 5 and 6 is cool

- the inclusion of the witches of aster dell (Beatrix said she was born there = witch)

- the inclusion of musa’s mother’s death

-Her transformation was lackluster to me, but I appreciated the effort to include it.

Conclusion

The pacing was all over the place to me; it felt like some episodes lasted forever and all of them seemed to have the vague theme of : be careful who you trust.

By trying to separate the winx from the og and have them have "their own lives" (which they already had), they ruined the intriguing backstories the characters already had in the og. Some were somewhat kept, but others were kind of left in the dust *cough*Aisha*cough*.

They took away with made them special: the teamwork, love, and friendship that brought them together and made them stronger. *They try it in episodes 5 and 6, but to me it just falls sort of flat.*

That said it isn't completely bad, it's mediocre at best, but it isn't Winx and that's that.

Edit: I know that it’s not supposed to be winx per say, but it has characters from the og and even the “winx” name in the title!

Credits: WCD channel on youtube, rainbow whitewashing jar on tumblr, and Youtube videos by the official winx club youtube channel.

#fate the winx club saga #fate the winx saga #winx club #netwinx

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aworldofyou · 3 years

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So, on the subject of MY favorite media in terms of good and accurate native representation to that of indigenous culture? ( yes, thank you @listered , one of my favorite writers ever. ) Well I could start this off as one thing, that remember a native actor or actress likely will never be in a role that they think is truly offensive, or isn’t concerned with a subject that needs attention. I mention this because a few of my favorite comedies, people call problematic despite the fact that the native side had like a 98% native casting ot it? So with that said, this is what I appreciate in terms of the stipulation checklist of a good media representation of culture.

First of and foremost, if the movie or tv series does not take place with a direct focus on the culture and instead features a native character. Ensure that the mindset of the surrounding characters and setting reflect that of the times. If the group likes or has an indifference toward natives, remember the rest of society hates us. So we would be meeting opposition outside, especially in non-native oriented locations.

And the above includes name calling, or nicknames that are normalized surrounding the names. (like for an example an asshole character might be best friends with a native character but would every now and again call him ‘red’ in the heat of battle or some sort of event.). Like I said, especially in wild west this was normal, Or even a less intentional demeaning thing would be ‘chief,’ or a shortened variation of their name. (For example, Wanahton - would be Wan, or Nahton.)

How much of the above is not erased.

How brutally honest the movies are in showing the struggles.

How many details and small things show me that the people who have directed the movie show that they did their research. Because at the end of the day, the research is done, and we know it, and that is all we ask for. Because there are so many different cultures within our nation, the small details matter.

Films and movies I’ve enjoyed that show this? A small list, yes:

Dreamkeeper ( Free on Youtube mind you, Here is Part One, and Part Two )

Dances with Wolves.

Hostiles

Westworld

Magnificent 7, the remake. (I haven’t seen this but Martin Sensmeier was asked by the Comanche(?) nation to attend one of their festivals.)

The Lone Ranger ( Again, Johnny Depp was taken in by the nation of the tribe in this movie )

A Documentary called Dakota 38 ( +2) ( Here is the link free to watch )

Disney’s Pocahontas

Pow Wow Highway

Smoke Signals

Maverick

Thunderheart

Windtalkers.

Spare Room

Disney’s Brother Bear.

RESERVATION DOGS!!!!

Avatar

Avatar: the way of water

There’s likely more, but I can’t think of more right now, these are the immediate examples. But! Remember !! So long as native actors or actresses are playing the native parts, then it’s for the most part likely okay? (Unless it’s a special case like Johnny Depp who did everything right and was accepted and adopted by the nation.)

#[ out of character. ] a raft fit for a queen #[ i think.. i - answered this right? ]

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years

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no-sleep 1x09rewatch ramble-essay (all content warnings for the episode apply here)

i was just like. oh i’ll watch a feel-good episode of gossip girl! s1 thanksgiving ep is great isn’t it! blairenate family feels!!! ruflyson love triangle drama!!! vdw siblings AND humphrey siblings hanging out!!! dan’s “see you later waldorf” *salutes & closes the cab door* !!!

& like. yes i DID remember serena’s whole not being sober on thanksgiving thing, and yes i DID remember blair’s ED relapse - which is heavy, but eating disorder content isn’t particularly triggering for me personally (i find it kind of cathartic, if we’re being honest) BUT . i somehow forgot. that THIS was the episode which has howard’s suicide attempt?? and now i have some of the most painful nate feels in the world.

blah blah blah, leight’s acting brought me to tears, which probably doesn’t sound like a very big deal but sort of is, for a variety of reasons (watching things doesn’t usually make me cry, it’s happened maybe a single-digit number of times before + also just my blair feels in general --> she’s a really interesting character but i don’t find her AS relatable as i do dan, or nate, or vanessa, or maybe even serena at times --> so i usually do have a bit of a disconnect re: watching her, which i really do not have for like. dan, for instance.)

i just cannot divorce that very cute outfit blair wears with her ED relapse - which brings me to the next point, which is that blair is maybe THE only character ever for whom her clothing choices and her plotlines are so interwoven in my head (lemon yellow shirt and funky little hat is her mean bridesmaids competitive game day, yellow-&-orange dress is her choose chuck over dan moment, genderqueer plaid skirt and grey shirt is her “dan loves me for me” moment, white shirt with the pink flowers is her get owned by nelly yuki moment, etc etc)... the only other time i noticed outfits is derena cotillion, but that’s just because i LOVE derena cotillion, and date matching shirts, but that’s because i am tuned into all things date and couldn’t possibly tell you what those outfits actually symbolise, with the exception of dan’s pink flannel shirt from when he’s holding milo. or any of the outfits from 2x06 because that is my episode hands down. oh hey would you look at that, i do actually form associations. but you gotta believe me on this, blair’s the one it happens most naturally for, which is very strange. i think it’s because her outfits are always Statements in a way that the other characters never do, except for jenny, who is a fashion designer, so it’s Different for her. what am i trying to say.

oh yeah another iconic outfit is serena’s golden jacket and bright blue pants to the morgue to identify what might be chuck’s corpse. she literally dressed like she was going clubbing and i respect her so much for that.

anyway. gosh. nate just - getting gaslit by his mom, getting reprimanded by his dad for telling his mom to stop being rude/petty... howard was like “don’t fight my fights for me” but nate wasn’t even doing that?? he was just asking his mom Not to be rude, and the fact that nate got told off at the end of that interaction... uh. it shows a lot about the archibald family unit in general and just. how nate is sort of treated as ... i don’t have the right word, but my brain is like “second class citizen”... which is absolutely NOT the right concept for nate but like. he is treated like he is Less a part of the family than his parents are....... RIGHT until one of them (or both of them!) fuck up in a big way and it’s down to nate to fix their mess. i haven’t read “adult children of emotionally immature parents” but from whatever i’ve heard about it, i think nate could do with reading it. or not. maybe it’d just make him sadder.

and fuck - nate’s whole talk with his dad and his dad telling nate that he doesn’t know how he can go on, etc etc... idk what to say or where to draw the line but i have really complicated howard & nate feelings. i really truly think anne was the worse parent (not like it’s a competition of course) and i sometimes seriously wonder if maybe howard archibald had a more supportive life partner, maybe he wouldn’t have ended up being ~like that~ to nate (doesn’t justify anything of course). anyway nate’s sitting by the hospital bed and his dad is denying his suicide attempt at first and nate’s just like, no, stop. this is also making me think now of nate sitting by serena’s hospital bed after tripp, and nate possibly sitting by blair’s hospital bed some point pre-series (eating disorders are serious and i really do think, esp with eleanor being eleanor, that it must’ve gotten pretty bad for blair before she got help - which. sorry. i know, it’s sad but i’m just putting together pre-existing implications.) all i’m saying is some point in the future i wouldn’t be surprised if nate’s just. uncomfortable in hospitals and unable to piece together why. oh yikes i just remembered blair’s miscarriage. at which point do hospitals become overly suffocating for natie, remind him of his own helplessness, etc... because i really think they would. anyway.

anne archibald chills me because she is such an accurate representation of a very specific kind of mother and. i hate it for nate obviously but i struggle to remember a time i’ve seen a tv mom who i can 100% relate to so hard. as in. fuck. worded that wrong. whose SON i can relate to so hard. ouch. this may be a moot point because i don’t watch much tv, but honestly anne & nate is just. a Lot. in a way that is significant to Me, specifically. this is part of my pet peeve (not enough to fight with anybody don’t worry) when people make edits about mothers & daughters, as if what was happening between nate & anne, somehow didn’t have the same complications - i honestly think there’s some solid eleanor & blair/ anne & nate parallels to be drawn. and we’ve been over this somewhere else, but lily & serena / rufus & dan / rufus & jenny definitely have a lot of the same specific issues (parent projecting on child, etc.) again - everyone engages w the show differently, im ready to admit that like... maybe 65% of my problems with the ‘mothers & daughters’ reading probably stem from gender dysphoria, lol. but whatever.

i have feelings about dan & alison, too... i really do think dan was closer to his mom than to his dad for majority of his childhood, and this ep really cements it. anyway. i don’t have any more words and i’m tired. and i might just watch derena cotillion episode because . derena cotillion episode my beloved...

wait wait before i forget. venn diagram of humphrey family & van der bilt family & playing american football. i know this has come up before but like. here we go i;m thinking about it again. both dan and nate have been competitively thrown in the grass by a family member in the name of sports. no wonder nate chose dan over chuck in 2x06 (i would put a tone indicator but even i can’t tell if this is /gen or /j)

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cosmic-navel-gazin · 4 years

Photo

This is something a bit different from me, but in light of the recent announcement from Ubisoft that there’s going to be a remake of Prince of Persia: Sands of Time coming out in January 2021, I thought I’d share some thoughts.

(This started out small but got outta hand so super long post incoming, no spoilers for the games)

So first off, a bit of my history with the original game.

I’m a big fan of the Prince of Persia (PoP) franchise, and I’ll fully admit that nostalgia plays a big part in it. You see, in many ways this 2003 classic was my real entryway drug into the world of videogames.

It wasn’t the first videogame I had ever played. My friends had consoles, there were some games on the school computers, but I didn’t own games as a kid. As far as my parents were concerned, these were all the spoils and soul damning devices of Lucifer himself. You know how it is, every generation goes through this thing of blaming all the world’s problems on a new artform: rock and roll, comic books and then videogames.

So yeah, a gaming console or buying games for the home computer was a BIG NO-NO!

But of course, the more an authority figure says you can’t have something, the more you want and crave it. It was only a matter of time until the opportunity presented itself to me.

And then the day finally came.

It was just me and a couple of friends, going to this new magazine store near the school. And there it was: the dvd case that came with a gaming mag for like 5 euros if I remember correctly, stupid cheap for such a great game.

There was doubt, there was fear, there was anxiety. I didn’t know much about the game, only the old 1989 DOS Prince of Persia:

This had the same name but looked different. I was seduced immediately.

The case stared longingly at me:

It’s not my fault, I was bewitched and I bought it.

My symbol of rebellion, my first big transgression, and my first real treasured posession that I bought with hard earned money.

PoP:The Sands of Time was my original sin so to say:

Accurate representation of what happened that day

I furiously installed the game as soon as my parents left the house. Played it for a couple of hours and stood in awe at the thing - the cinematics, the cool parkour moves, the arabian nights setting, the time manipulation to undo mistakes when platforming or in combat, the Prince breaking the fourth wall saying:”no no no, that’s not what happened, let me start over” whenever I died and got a game over…

You have not experienced true fear if at some point in your life you didn’t feel the cold sweat running down your back as you hear the very distinct sound of your parents’ car arriving when you’re doing something “prohibited”.

As soon as I heard that sound, I quickly quit the game, uninstaled it (I could not run the risk of them finding out I had tainted their machine with a videogame *gasp!*), and ran to my room to hide the game before opening the door for them.

Neetheless to say, I never made much progress since I had to start over every time after quitting and uninstalling the thing. I would just play those first couple of hours over and over, never knowing how the story progressed, but I was happy all the same. At one point I knew every line of dialogue, every music cue, every sound effect of that beginning part. It would be some years before I got my first laptop and finally managed to complete it.

All of this to say that the game means a lot to me. Not just as a product or piece of entertainment. This wasn’t casually playing on someone’s gameboy advance or PS2 to have a bit of fun and pass the time.

This was more intimate.

It was just me; the game; a dark room and a blanket; and a sincere and charming, simple but compelling story told seamlessly through mechanics that only enhanced it. This was me witnessing gameplay and storytelling going hand in hand in a way that even many of my other favourite games don’t do, or don’t do as well (there’s usually some disconnect where a game only manages to really excel at one but not the other).

Ok, so on the announcement and trailer:

youtube

As a big fan you might think I was super hyped for this.

But I gotta say…no, not really.

I’m not super angry, but I’m not really excited either honestly. And I don’t think it’s just the rough and uncanny character models and animation that people are pointing out all over (although that doesn’t help).

I guess to talk a bit on that, I should stress out that my problem isn’t that it doesn’t look realistic enough. To be honest, and this is going to sound rich from a big Witcher 3 fan, I think that the gaming industry overall, moreso big tripple A titles, seem to have this unhealthy obsession with photorealism. Like, I don’t need to see the characters’s pores to care about these polygon people. Strong art direction is what I feel is more valuable. I just don’t think this arms race to photorealism is sustainable. Games are taking longer to make and fund, and I’d rather have dev teams spend more time polishing and refining the games’ mechanics and/or story if the trade-off is less “realistic” graphics.

It might just be personal preference, but I wish we were getting more stylized character and world design. Go look at some screenshots for Pathologic 2, a game that came out last year that hits that sweet spot between full-blown cartoony/caricature and realistic by today’s standards:

And I think that is somewhat what they were going for with this remake’s character models (or I hope it was). But it’s still not quite there, hopefully they’ll work on improving those so they can hit that sweet spot also.

(in defense of my hipocrisy and love of The Witcher 3, I think the more realistic look was appropriate for the world they were portraying, it benefits from it. However I don’t think I would love it any less if it had less detailed models and environments)

One last thing on the graphics.

I will say this though, at least from the footage we see in the new trailer the team seems to be capitalizing on colour. Big vibrant reds, blues, whites and yellows in the environment look great, and really captures the 1.001 nights/arabian nights feel that I absolutely love. I appreciate that since there’s always this tendency for remakes to suck all the colour and life from the original (in both games and movies), regardless if it fits the setting and tone or not.

Anyway, I think the reason I’m very much without a big reaction is that I believe the 2003 original is a true classic, a masterpiece even - I guess I should stress out that when I say masterpiece, I don’t mean it’s perfect. Just that the whole is bigger and better than the sum of its parts, that the things it does right, it does so right, that it completely overshadows the flaws.

The story, the art direction, the gameplay (the holy trinity of platforming, combat and puzzle solving), the brilliant introduction of the dagger of time as a gameplay and story mechanic (one of my favourite mechanics in all of gaming), the music, the charming duo that is the Prince and Farah, the tight pacing with the game being just the right length and not overstaying its welcome, the outstanding level design where you’re never stuck doing one thing for too long (the game is always juggling between combat, story, platforming and puzzles, mixing and matching)…

Looking at all these things, I just really don’t think we need a remake because I don’t think there’s that many glaring terrible flaws that could justify it.

Adding more scenes and content could be good, or it might backfire: bloat and ruin the game’s already excelent pacing and fluidity (which I think is the main keyword that better describes the original, everything flows superbly). The original was only 6-8 hours long and it is better for it. I’m not confident that adding dozens of hours of gameplay like the big tittles today would help at all.

The only real improvements I can see are:

tweeking and perfecting the combat (I’ve seen it mentioned that they’re implementing a targeting system which sounds good);

perhaps also better Farah’s A.I during combat when you have to help protect her from swarms of enemies;

Maybe throw in a couple more enemy types? The cut sand tigers for example?

usual things like adding the option of subtitles, add the ability to skip cutescenes;

But other than that…

I don’t even think the graphics of the original look bad. They’ve aged of course, with the game being 17 years old, but still. I installed it last night and played through the first hour to take some screenshots and I think they’re still good:

I can understand the MediEvil remaster, the Spyro remaster or the more recent FFVII remake in terms of wanting to update the graphics. I can understand that not everyone can easily go back to these low poly lads:

But this game? I know I’m influenced by nostalgia and all, but I don’t think it needs that makeover that badly, especially when compared to these other remakes and remasters. Funnily enough, I just noticed that these examples I just listed were all PS1 games. PoP: SoT was a PS2 , PC and Xbox game. PS2 era games have aged far better visually and don’t need that big a makeover in my most humble opinion.

It would be one thing if the original was out of print like a Rule of Rose scenario ,where you can’t find the game unless you go to ebay or something and it’s stupid expensive. Or if it was a pain to get running on modern systems like it was with Grim Fandango, until it got a remaster.

But no, you can find the Sands of Time trilogy and the PoP (2008) reboot on GOG and Steam (on Steam only there’s also the PoP:The Forgotten Sands midquel). So there isn’t the usual problem of the game no longer being accessible to people who want to play it, which helps justify the need for a remake.

The original still plays nice, sounds nice and looks nice, so I guess this all goes to show that at the end of the day, this remake just feels a bit unnecessary to me, at least from what little the trailer showed (I would love to have my bitter cynical ass proved wrong though!).

Maybe I just have a superhuman tolerance for older games and how they look, I really don’t have that big a problem if the game itself is good or interesting, so I don’t always think older games need remakes.

Maybe my falling out of love with Ubisoft in this last decade has curbed forever any hype I might have for their announcements, even when they pull out my son, my baby boy Prince of Persia out again.

Maybe I’m just burnt out and too pessimistic about remakes, remasters and adaptations (although game remakes usually do better than film ones).

And this makes me a bit sad because I don’t want to sh*t all over the first piece of “new” Prince of Persia content we’ve had since 2010??? Oof, it’s been a while.

Especially knowing that Yuri Lowenthal is coming back and excited to voice the Prince again. And I also don’t want to be too harsh since we’re looking at an alpha of the game. But so far I’m just very numb to this, I do seriously hope it turns out good and that they don’t rush it out the door. But I’m not convinced we need a remake in the first place. The original is a milestone, a game changer. I’d rather see a game that had great ideas and poor execution being remade than something people already love and consider a masterpiece.

Guess we’ll see how I feel once more news and footage come out.

Oh and feel free to share your own thoughts on this remake. I’m curious to know what both fans and newcomers alike think.

small edit: I can’t believe I was just watching this Sands of Time playthrough on youtube and at one point it is said: “Another game that is designed similarly to this is Soul Reaver actually.”

Of course! I didn’t even see it! All of my favourite things are connected!!! Maybe that detail was another thing that helped me getting really into Soul Reaver as I was first playing it.

#prince of persia #prince of persia: the sands of time #prince of persia remake #ubisoft #videogames #my ramblings #I can't seem to write a short post to save my life!

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lady-divine-writes · 4 years

Text

A Christmas Story (Rated PG)

An angel and a demon watching a Christmas pageant, discussing the bitter and enjoying the sweet. (1401 words)

The First Noel,

the Angels did say

Was to certain poor shepherds

in fields as they lay …

“Hmm … They’re quite good, aren’t they?”

“Quite.”

“Shame they had to drag these poor kids out in the cold to entertain us though, huh?”

“It is nippy out, yes.”

“Speaking of … cocoa?” Crowley nudges a thermos against Aziraphale’s arm. Aziraphale shifts only his eyes to look at it.

“Thank you,” he says softly, taking it in both hands. He sighs when his fingers wrap around the comfortably hot cylinder. He didn’t realize that he’d let himself go cold – probably out of sympathy for the choir of eight through twelve-year-olds singing their hearts out while their pastor and a flock of altar tenders lay a statue of baby Jesus in a hay-laden manger.

It’s a tradition on Christmas Eve after midnight mass – the laying of the infant savior in his manger. And Crowley knows that Aziraphale never misses it.

But this is the first time Crowley gets to watch it with him.

“You found me,” Aziraphale says, unscrewing the lid to the thermos and taking a sip.

“It wasn’t all that hard.” Crowley reaches into an inside pocket of his coat as the wind blows around them, pulls out a black metal flask, and flashes it Aziraphale’s way. Aziraphale nods and tilts the mouth of the thermos towards him. Crowley uncaps the flask and, with a generous pour, makes the cocoa Irish. “Ironically, you’re the only angel out and about at present, during the one time of the year you guys should be swarming the streets.”

“Yes, well …” Aziraphale lets the remaining sentence drown inside the thermos with his next sip, not expending any energy towards defending the absence of his kind.

Aziraphale didn’t choose the biggest church to go to on this blessed night, not the sort that would have a mob gathered round it, or celebrities in attendance who would attract a crowd. This church is humble, out of the way. It took Crowley effort to get to it. He could only drive his Bentley so far. Then he was forced to park and hike the rest of the way through wet grass in the dark. As churches go, this one that they’re standing in front of is a much more accurate representation of the barn that baby Jesus was born in.

Which means the people who have come to worship must really want to be here to go so far out of their way.

“To be honest, I’m hurt you didn’t invite me to come with you,” Crowley says, taking a swig from his flask.

“I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“I like the Christmas story as much as the next demon.”

“You were asleep.”

“Of course I was asleep!” Crowley chortles. “It’s after midnight!”

“I didn’t want to wake you. I know how much you like to sleep.”

“I like being with you more.”

Aziraphale smiles at his husband’s remark, but it doesn’t take his eyes away from his focus. Crowley observes Aziraphale from the corner of his eye, tries to imagine what he’s thinking as he watches these modern day humans act out a scene he witnessed firsthand centuries ago. But the longer Crowley watches him, he begins to notice that his angel isn’t looking where he’d assumed - not at the cherubic baby Jesus raising his chubby arms in exultation, not at the bright lights or the decorations, or the choir. He’s not looking at the rest of the players entering the scene – a shepherd wearing a stuffed sheep across his shoulders, playfully admiring it like it’s an expensive mink stole; another stoic boy, his bulky varsity jacket showing beneath his thin linen robe; a teenage Joseph who’s yawned twice already; a slightly younger mother Mary with vibrant pink hair peeking out from along the edges of a chunky knit pompom hat; a flamboyant King Caspar prancing down the aisle, absolutely dousing the audience with frankincense - as the song selection changes to Angels We Have Heard on High. The children seem to be having a blast despite the hour and the temperature, but Aziraphale has stopped enjoying their antics.

He’s gazing over their heads, eyes locked on a crucifix standing beyond the festivities, shrouded in shadow.

“These kids are putting on a stellar performance,” Crowley says, inching closer to his husband and slipping an arm through his. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a lively re-enactment.”

“They are doing a wonderful job,” Aziraphale admits, his voice thick.

“So why so glum? Hmm? What’s on your mind?”

Aziraphale takes a final poignant sip from the thermos. He screws the lid back on and stuffs it in his coat pocket. He puts a hand over Crowley’s, breathes in deep, and blinks watery eyes. “I saw that boy born. I watched him grow. I heard him preach the Almighty’s message. I saw him feed the poor, heal the sick …” Aziraphale pauses, swallowing when his voice cracks, but it does nothing to smooth it down. “We watched him die.”

“I remember,” Crowley says, squeezing Aziraphale’s arm tight.

“He was Her truest, most devout Prophet … and She let them nail him to a cross. Her own son!”

“She did it to prove how much She loved humanity.” Crowley tries to comfort his husband, but his tone stiffens. “Her great sacrifice.”

“But it wasn’t Her great sacrifice, was it? It was his. And from what I remember, he didn’t get much say in the matter.” Aziraphale scoffs. “Seems to be a running theme with Her, if you ask me.”

“Can’t disagree with you there.”

“But then, after all that, She would have let humanity die? In another pointless war to prove Heaven is more powerful than Hell?”

Crowley shrugs. “Maybe not. Maybe She let it play out the way it did because She knew how it would end. Maybe She designed it that way. You know – the Ineffable Plan?”

“The Ineffable Game, you mean,” Aziraphale says exhaustively. “I’m tired of all the games.”

“She does excel at them.”

Aziraphale leans into his husband’s arm, rests his head on Crowley’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t mind so much if She’d at least let us know the rules!”

“Well, like you’ve said before – Her plan, Her game, Her rules. It’s not for us to question.”

“You, my dear, were cast out for asking questions. We’ve been on opposite sides for over 6000 years. Regardless of our friendship, of the lines we blurred, I thought I knew where we stood – black and white, cut and dry. But now I’m beginning to doubt.”

“Times have changed. Things were simpler way back when.”

“Were they though?”

Crowley exhales long into the chilly air. “I don’t know.”

“Anyway, probably not long before she casts me out, too. The thing is … I’m not sure I’d be too upset about that.”

“She won’t cast you out,” Crowley says reassuringly, if only for himself. “You’re the only angel She has who actually behaves like an angel.”

“Even with all the tempting?” Aziraphale asks smugly.

Crowley grins at his husband’s cheek. “Even with. If she hasn’t cast you out by now, she isn’t going to. If you ask me, I think She has greater plans for you.”

“Yes, well, I don’t think I care.”

“I think you do.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you love your job. You love Earth. And you love humanity. You’ve fought hard to protect it. Almost died, too. I would like to believe that, in the end, even if no one else knows about it, it means something to Her.”

“So what do you suggest I do? Hold my breath and wait for a commendation?”

“You do what you were put here to do. You inspire humanity. You watch over them. You bless them. And you do it not because She commands it, but because you love them. You want what’s best for them. Luckily, now you have the freedom to decide what that is.”

Aziraphale snuggles deeper against his husband’s side, his eyes leaving the crucifix and rejoining the pageant right as King Caspar hands off his frankincense to a bleary-eyed Joseph and performs a dramatic death drop to rousing applause. “You know, you would have made a decent Principality.”

“Yuck.”

“A better Archangel, even.”

Crowley shakes his head. “Not at all. In fact, I’ve only ever met one being who truly deserves the title.” He drops a kiss in Aziraphale’s hair. “And I married him.”

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #frankie writes

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bemused-writer · 4 years

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VNC Chapter 43 Analysis

Wow, for chapter designed to segue between one arc to the next, this one sure had a lot packed into it! The political intrigue is through the roof and our main characters take a backseat while we finally get to see Dominique and her family once more. Before that, though, a few last thoughts on Gévaudan. We learned both Chloé's and Jean-Jacques's names and they, indeed, suit them well. Chloé's was "Canorus," or "she who plays with snow crystals." She'd isolated herself in a snowy castle and she played the piano to exert her power, which has white keys. It also implies a more lighthearted nature to Chloé than we really got to see, which seems accurate to me. Jean-Jacques's is "Aprix" or "he who nestles close to the last snows." His is especially overt in its meaning: he loves the snow (Chloé) and stays close to her side. Jean-Jacques is also the easiest vampire to cure we've seen to date and the reason is simple: he only gave his name to Naenia to protect Chloé. If he doesn't need to do so to protect her, then why bother?

He will now protect her as himself, his true self, without any outside help. I can't help but wonder how soon he will have to live up to that promise. We also finally get something of an update on Johann and Dante.

Okay, so we already knew these two were hired by Marquis Machina, we just didn't know what it was they were looking for. Turns out, the whole reason they were there was for Chloé's alteration device. This actually makes perfect sense: it contains information and that's precisely what dhampirs collect. Furthermore, it seems information is what Marquis Machina is most interested in as well, so things are adding up nicely.

Unfortunately, (or thankfully?) Marquis Machina doesn't get whatever information this device has because of the chasseurs and Ruthven. I think it's safe to say at this point that there are certain members of the Church that are allied with Ruthven. Furthermore, they are almost certainly trying to reignite a war between humans and vampires.

Having these two groups working together is nothing short of a disaster because it's a very effective team up and no one even suspects what's going on, save for possibly Marquis Machina who is familiar with both Ruthven and Chloé, but I'll talk a bit more about that in a bit. Also, I think we now know why Astolfo was sent to Gévaudan:

Now this is just sinister. Astolfo was purposefully sent because they know he has no restraint. They know he's angry, looking for purpose, and they're manipulating those emotions into something beneficial for them. It also means they know Roland is questioning the Church; they had to make sure he was sufficiently distracted in order to get what they came for. And who was in charge of all this? None other than Gano, the mysterious chasseur that was supposed to come as backup a couple chapters ago. I guess now we know what the holdup was about.

There is not a lot of love lost here, is there? Olivier is looking at Gano with overt mistrust and disdain. Roland has his relaxed grin firmly in place, but I think we know enough about him at this point not to blindly believe it: he knows there's something up with Gano and he knows that whatever happened in Carcassonne shouldn't have taken that long. I think we now have a physical representation of why Olivier is so worried about Roland's behavior. He knows people like Gano are aware of his treasonous thoughts and he knows Roland is in danger. I think it's also safe to say that Olivier isn't a big fan of a lot of people in the Church, which fits in with the leeway he's given Roland and his extreme opinions (in the Church's eyes at least). As for this Gano...

That is one of the most suspicious individuals I've ever seen. 8D My goodness, Mochizuki isn't doing much to give him the benefit of the doubt, is she? XD He's all but leering at them; he knows something they don't. No wonder Olivier looks so irritated. I wouldn't be surprised if Gano is an extremely powerful chasseur. All the more reason for Roland to be careful in his investigation of things. Another major thing before we jump into the de Sade drama:

I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT, BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I-- *ahem* So, Murr is a shady cat. :D Either Teacher is the cat or, more likely, he's watching everything through the cat, which is still pretty disturbing. Think about it: Noé has been put through the wringer repeatedly, and Teacher hasn't lifted a finger to help him. Noé was nearly killed by Ruthven on two separate occasions, nearly died in the catacombs, lost a limb most recently, and I'm sure it's only going to get worse. The only time Teacher offered any help was when Noé was asleep and even then he wasn't so much helping as he was listening to Noé's troubles, no doubt because he was curious what Noé would do. It's Louis all over again, just with some adjustments for Noé's personality. Anyway, that wraps up the Gévaudan arc pretty neatly. I doubt this is the last we'll see of Chloé and Jean-Jacques, though. You don't spend this much time developing two characters simply to drop them by the wayside for the next arc. I have two guesses on how this could go: Chloé and Jean-Jacques will show up later in the series to support Noé or to offer some knowledge on Ruthven. Alternatively, they will be sacrificed in the near future to prevent that information from getting out. Either way, for the moment, Vanitas and Noé are allowed to bask in their victory and feel as if they've accomplished something, which they have, but there is so much manipulation in this series I'm feeling uncertain about how long they'll get to enjoy it. And at long last, we get to see Dominique again! None of our questions about Misha are answered, though, and if anything, I'm more worried about what happened to her than ever. She thinks all of that was a dream? What did he do to her?

Everything seems to be in order. Her bedroom is clean, there's no sign of struggle, she isn't missing anything... It makes everything that much more alarming. How long has she been sleeping? What happened after she met Misha? Quite a bit of time has passed, so that seems to indicate, to me, that if she's still dreaming about Misha, something bad happened that she can't remember. There seem to be a lot of memory issues in this series. After all, if you can't remember something, you can't very well exercise your will over a situation, can you? Dominique is desperate to get outside, but she's immediately confronted by her sister, Veronica.

There's a familiarity between these two that shows they were probably raised together, but there isn't any closeness, which means they weren't raised to have especially strong bonds with one another. It's an interesting dynamic and feels both sinister and aristocratic. Now, Veronica says she's covered in blood because she was having an intimate moment with Marquis Machina. However, I feel the need to point out, there's no reason we should believe her. We didn't see the marquis anywhere, after all. However, she has information on the senate meeting that she could only have gotten from someone in the senate, so there's probably some truth to what she's saying. Personally, I find this a curious change of attitude for Veronica. I thought she was a bit of a misandrist if I'm completely honest. This is the woman who said, "What is a human doing here? Not only that, but a man. What a stench. The stink of humans is so strong I think my nose may drop off." I suppose her biggest issue was that he was a human (so, she's a xenophobe and/or racist), but his being a man didn't seem to help. Still, people who are bigoted often get together with the very people they have issues with. In that regard, Veronica and Vanitas are kind of similar. 8D Vanitas definitely has misogynistic tendencies and he's trying to have a relationship with a woman. Likewise, Veronica may have issues with men, but she's having a fling with one. All right, then. It is true that she and the marquis interacted with one another in volume two:

It's extremely subtle, but the fact she didn't just go ballistic on the marquis when he didn't handle the problem could indicate a certain fondness for the guy. Anyway, the important bit for now is Dominique's reaction to this revelation: she seems a whole lot like Noé all of a sudden. Dominique: Marquis Machina got you all bloody, Veronica? Why...? This is kind of odd for Dominique. She normally seems way more worldly than this, not to mention way more on top of things. This seems more like the Dominique we saw in flashbacks, and I suppose that makes sense. She just woke from a nightmare, she's feeling disoriented, and her sister is messing with her. Not a great time of things. Furthermore, her sister says this:

"You're as dull as ever, child." This is in direct reference to Dominique being uncomfortable hearing about Veronica's sexual conquests. This strongly implies Dominique isn't having her own sexual conquests, despite her being so flirtatious in previous chapters. Put that together with Veronica referring to Noé and Jeanne as Dominique's "favorites" and I think it's safe to say that at the moment, Dominique is harboring unrequited romantic feelings for both of these individuals and Veronica find the whole thing contemptible. As an aside, this means Dominique and Vanitas are kind of similar, too. 8D In fact, both of them are having more luck with Jeanne than they are with Noé. Jeanne seemed quite taken with Dominique and their dance going so far as to keep pursuing her afterwards, and she has become much more fond of Vanitas. Meanwhile, Vanitas's almost-pursuit of Noé at the beginning of the series* has gotten exactly nowhere, much like Dominique's. I'm not sure what that says, exactly, except that Jeanne might be more romantically inclined than Noé. Or, perhaps, Noé is even more oblivious than Jeanne to this stuff. Still, both Vanitas and Dominique are very close to Noé, so maybe it's a matter of time. Anyway, we then get into the political spectrum of things, and this is no doubt what a lot of the next arc will be dealing with. We're introduced to several senate members, and none of them seem trustworthy.

From right-to-left we have: Lord Bellator (the Fuming), Unnamed Lord (the Nervous), Lord Paldence (the Sly), Lord Ruthven (the Liar), Antoine (probably a lord? I'll call him "the Diplomat" and in this instance that's not necessarily a good thing), and Master Luca (heir to the throne AKA "the Prince"). I think it's interesting that in the overhead shot, we're shown there are eight senate members, but in this closeup we're only shown five, not counting Luca. We know Marquis Machina was there (though notably his face wasn't shown), that raises the number to six. That means there were two members there we still know nothing about, not to mention The Nervous, who was never given a name. It seems Bellator and Ruthven are not each other's biggest fans. In fact, most of the meeting that we are shown is of these two going at each other's throats.

Ruthven's comment here makes it pretty obvious that vampires live for a ridiculously long amount of time, but even vampires agree that acting like you can do whatever you want because of a conversation from a century ago is kind of pushing it. It also implies that the people on the senate have been on the senate for a ridiculously long amount of time. In other words, they are set in their ways; there's been no new fresh blood. The political side to vampiric society is probably insanely outdated compared to humanity's and that's saying something for a series taking place in the 19th century--it's not just that certain families stay in power for years and years; literally the exact same people maintain that power. No change. No advances. They are stuck. Anyway. Dominique doesn't want Jeanne to be executed, understandably, and she reveals this weakness to Veronica.

Veronica berates her for trying to drag the family name through the mud; apparently, no one likes a bourreau. But what I find interesting is that Dominique says "Father's territory." Um... what? So, they live in this giant mansion and the father has his own territory? What about the mother? Do they mean territory as in he invaded and took over some spot or do they mean he just really needs his space? Either way, this is further evidence that this family is not very close; they are some kind of political enterprise. I really feel bad for Dominique, though. She's kind of out of it, but she immediately goes to Jeanne's rescue. Gotta admire that. Anyway, Antoine finally shows up and all of that is taken care of.

Antoine's sudden appearance is jarring, to say the least. Also, his fangs are out. Now, who was hanging out in the hallway with blood on her? Veronica. Who just showed up with his fangs bared? Antoine. Who seems incredibly shady? Both of them. There's probably nothing to this, but if there's going to be some kind of bizarre, incestuous affair going on, I wouldn't be shocked to discover it was with the de Sades. Regardless of potential crack theories, Antoine gives us even more information on what happened at the senate meeting. This makes it pretty clear to me that Antoine is kind of the head of the house. Why didn't their father go? Apparently because he has an entire territory to himself, I don't know. Thus, the responsibility falls to Antoine. Luckily for the de Sade family, he seems remarkably good at this job. He easily maneuvered Bellator into doing what he wanted and got the senate to cool down as well.

Even Veronica is impressed. He says he just wanted to move on from the topic, and I almost believe him, but there's no doubt he benefited from the whole thing as well. But he continues on, and it raises some questions.

What does he mean by "comrades?" It could be the other senate members, but Dominique thinks she shouldn't be hearing about this, which she didn't say previously. It makes me think that the de Sades are involved in something a little more nefarious than mere politics. If they're aligned with Ruthven, then I suppose it's the Church and they want a war. If not, then I have no idea; there are quite a few possibilities there. Perhaps loyalists to the queen? Either way, he isn't sure the queen's reappearance is a good thing, understandably, too. It would change the power dynamics for certain. We then get to see Marquis Machina speak with Ruthven, and, boy, are there some layers in that conversation.

In other words, Machina knows something was afoot, and he's letting Ruthven know he knows he had something to do with it. It also means that literally every single person involved in the Gévaudan incident was a pawn.

Ahh, now this raises the question: who is the chess master? At first, it's easy to think it's Ruthven. But now we see that Machina was manipulating quite a few things: the dhampirs, Noé, and Vanitas. A section of the chasseurs were squarely in Ruthven's control, however, so what we're seeing here is a power struggle between Ruthven and Machina. Who knows which of them will win that particular battle? For the moment, Ruthven is ahead simply because he got the device from Gévaudan, but who knows how long he'll be able to keep the edge.

I'm almost certain Machina is referring to Ruthven here. He's certainly been causing a lot of trouble in secret. On the other hand, "lion" has noble associations, so it could be Luca's rise to power. He beared his fangs at this meeting and saved Jeanne. Perhaps Machina is curious to see whether he can maintain the throne. Ruthven is still the more likely choice judging by the panel that follows:

Machina knows Ruthven is teetering on the edge, and he wants to see the man fall. This next arc is going to be something. There are so many threads in this introductory chapter alone that I think it's safe to say we're in for a wild ride. After all that, we get a brief glimpse of Noé and Vanitas back at the hotel.

We have a bit of a time skip; they've been back in Paris for ten days, and Noé is only now growing concerned that Vanitas has been sleeping solidly for all of them. Um, Noé, you probably should have checked after the first day.... We can also see that Noé is wearing a brace and that it looks like they're trying to reattach his hand. I am ... so curious about whether that works. Just let me know, Mochizuki, please.... Noé also gets to see Vanitas's sleeping face at long last! XD

What even, Vanitas. XD I can't tell if he's actually sick or if he's completely drained from how emotionally vulnerable he was for the entire Gévaudan arc. He was literally worrying about Noé for the entire arc, then he was worrying about his promise to Jeanne, then he was panicking about how fond Jeanne was of him suddenly and his own reaction to it. Yeah, I don't think he was prepared for literally anything in that arc. XD Guess we'll see how that continues later this month! I really need to see it.... *I've talked about that in previous installments, so I opted not to bog things down further by getting into it here, but if it seems unclear feel free to ask about it. :)

#vanitas no carte #vnc meta #long post #Bemused's post #vnc spoilers

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sim-songs · 4 years

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“hi, I’m not from the US” ask set

So I wanted to answer all of these, because why not you know? @dreamsongsims now you can learn more about Belgium ;)

It’s under the read more so I don’t clog up your dashboards.

1. favourite place in your country? Honestly my home. I am living in Antwerp right now with the bf and I honestly love it, even though we aren’t really going outside much right now bc of the virus. I do miss the green and the “not city” smell haha

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad? I am okay with both. My family always goes on vacations during holidays, the last few years we’ve gone to Thailand for example but I’m more interested in staying closer to home. I LOVE Norway and want to go on holiday there again but it’s expensive.

3. does your country have access to sea? Yes. 67 kilometers of ugly “badsteden” lol (literally means bathing towns). To be honest I like the coast in the Netherlands better because it isn’t as gray and superficial.

4. favourite dish specific for your country? A nice “frietje van de frituur” (french fries), specifically a “frietje speciaal”, that’s french fries with ketchup, mayo and thinly sliced onion.

5. favourite song in your native language? I hate Belgian music, absolutely despise every Dutch song on the radio. But if I have to pick one its Goud from Bazart, it’s an older song by now but it’s one of the few I did not mind listening to.

6. most hated song in your native language? As soon as I read this I immediately thought of Banaan from Jebroer. Just shudders ugh. But really all Dutch songs in this style.

7. three words from your native language that you like the most? I’m gonna paste my earlier answer here: Hmm that's a hard one for me... Gezellig is a word I've always liked bc it doesn't have a real translation, just like cozy or smt. Another one I like is grassprietjes, meaning blades of grass bc it sounds funny and kinda rolls of the tongue and non dutch people will never be able to properly say that! and a third is eenzaam, meaning lonely. I don't really know why I like that one tbh

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom? I don’t really remember ever being confused for another nationality. I have read that Dutch sounds like German on crack, and that Belgian Dutch is easier than Netherlands Dutch for foreigners.

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best? Visit most: France and Germany, I have been to them both already but never for long and a long time ago. Know best: Probably the Netherlands. We share a language after all so we share some cultural things! (Does Temptation Island count as a cultural thing lol?)

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language? Mmm tough one to answer, because me and my bf are big English speakers so most of our swearing is of the “fuck” variety. I like “godverdomme” (god dammit) and what my dad sometimes says “godverdomme miljaarde nondeju” (there is literally nothing I can do to translate this)

11. favourite native writer/poet? I can’t think of any poets, but I like the writer Valerie Eykmans, specifically the book “Verloren Maandag”

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem? So I really like “Het Weer” by Hugo Claus, I even have a poster in our living room with the poem in his handwriting.

Weather

How was the weather in the country without you? At first mist fell over the concrete mountains.

Then the sun hung like mist over the mother-of-pearl sand.

Then the sky moved and became clammy as your armpits.

A lightning closed my teeth.

And everywhere the smell rose of the big animals that don't exist

unless in the ringing of your ear, in the rustle of your hair.

That's how it was back there without you. You are the air pressure and the dew and the snow in my skull.

It does not rhyme much in Dutch, it’s more about the rhythm of the words, so as far as the translation goes it’s pretty accurate in it’s contents but the rhythm is definitely off in the translated version

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders? What immediately comes to mind is the whole “Sinterklaas” problem where every year the discourse starts again whether or not the “Zwarte Pieten” are racist. Honestly not gonna comment on that because it’s not my place to feel offended or otherwise about this issue. Another thing that’s a bit more lighthearted is the “jaarmarkt” in our hometown, it’s like a big market that always finds place on the first sunday of the year. There’s a “stoet” (procession) with the walking orchestra, horses, horses and carriages, dogs and a whole load of tractors all going to get blessed at the church where the pastor throws holy water on everyone passing by. I have a love hate relationship with this tradition because it’s always freezing, and the tractors take forever to end. Oh and the main street of our town is completely closed of and there’s a big market with stalls in the street and everyone gets drunk of of the “jenevers” from the Scouts stalls lol.

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV? Not really, the only thing I used to watch was “Helden van Hier: Brandweer” (Heroes from here: fire brigade), it was just following the fire brigade around to fires and what not.

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get? ah je moe kakken moe je kakken he 😉

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with? Hate: Belgians are small-minded people not interested in anything going on outside of their home. Just not true at all. Sure there are people like that but every country has those. Agree: Belgians are hard to get to know. I hear this one a lot and I can see why people say that.

17. are you interested in your country’s history? Copied from an earlier answer: I am interested in history in general, it was one of my favourite classes in high school. I do like learning about Belgian history, mainly because Belgian history is, in one term, a messy bitch

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language? Yes, I speak with a “Kempisch” accent, but in general I’m still pretty understandable.

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem? I really don’t care about our flag, the Flemish Lion is being overly politicized to exclude the Walons lately and our national anthem is meh, no one can sing it and it’s more of a joke to people my age I think.

20. which sport is The Sport in your country? Soccer (or football idk) and veldrijden (literally field riding, but cyclo-cross as the translation) GO Wout van Aert! (idc abt sports but he’s local to me so)

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be? I’m not sure if this means you want to get rid of it or if you want to memorialize it? Getting rid of “Manneken Pis” because he’s stupid and memorializing an entire classic “frietkot”

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed? Proud: Our cultural diversity and lately our banding together during the crisis Ashamed: All the racists (looking at you Vlaams Belang)

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country? BEER, ALL THE BEER

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country? Honestly our own nation is most joked about for good reasons. Flemish joke about the Walons and vice versa, and everyone jokes about the joke that is our government.

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country? I’m happy where I’m at now, so no.

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal? I have never seen any prominent representation of Belgian in a Hollywood movie.

27. favourite national celebrity? Probably Tom Waes

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites? We dont have much haha, we have rivers, most notably “De Shelde” which runs though Antwerp not too far from my apparment.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country? Flemish and Walons have always had beef, so yeah.

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family? I had a phase where I was into genealogy and it’s safe to say I’m one of the most Belgian Belgians out there lol, especially on mothers side her family literally has been living in the same place since the 1600′s and my grandparents had never seen the ocean until my parents took them.

#ask game #non sims #dont mind me i just wanted to answer all of them #anyway if u dont care just scroll past

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