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serenescribbles · 2 years

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forelsket

For MGI Mixer 2022!

Forelsket is a Norwegian word that means the euphoria of first falling in love.

Ao3 | Masterlist

一

There is a bench in a park somewhere in Blüdhaven. It isn't anything special, well, except for the fact it has been there since the park first opened. All the other benches in the park have needed to be replaced some time or another. But this particular one has stayed the same.

No one paid attention to it, after all, a bench is just a bench. Nothing to care about. And no one remembers when the sign first popped up. It was just there one day. The content of the sign was stupid anyway.

" The 'Happy to Chat' Bench. Sit here if you don't mind someone stopping to say hello. "

Eventually, the bench became known as the "happy" bench. And no one ever really sat there anymore. Most people did mind people stopping to say hello to them.

Some teen had probably put the sign up as a joke.

一

Marinette was having a bad day. A terrible one. Nothing had gone right today. She’d gone in for an interview today, and she was sure she wasn’t getting the job. It was in Gotham, which was 30 minutes away from here.

Last night, she had set her alarm to 7:00 AM just so she could wake up nice and early to get ready for the interview. But for some reason, her alarm didn’t sound, and Marinette had a sneaking suspicion that she had Plagg to thank for that.

She ended up waking up at 8:15 and had to rush because the interview was at 9:00 and it would take at least 30 minutes to get there, depending on morning traffic! At one point, Marinette thought she wasn’t going to make it.

After finally making it to Wayne Enterprises, Marinette hurried to check in with the receptionist. The whole way there, people had given her weird looks. She was so embarrassed.

And when Marinette was walking (re: speed walking) to the interview room, she bumped into someone carrying a mug full of coffee. The coffee had gone everywhere, and it ruined the person’s clothes. Some of it had scalded her hand, but Marinette hadn’t paid attention to it at the time. Her hand was bright red and swollen, and Marinette had wrapped it in bandages. She had been planning on sending a “Thank You for the Interview” email but her hand hurt too much.

It turned out the person she had bumped into was the Co-CEO of W.E., Tim Drake-Wayne ! He was the person who was supposed to be interviewing her since she applied to be his secretary! Of all days, why did her clumsiness have to act up today?

Because his clothes were ruined, he had to change into new ones and her interview was delayed. During the interview, Mr. Drake-Wayne kept assessing her, eyes sharp and shrewd, probably waiting for her to make a mistake as if she hadn’t already made enough. He asked her questions that caught her totally off guard and Marinette didn’t even remember half of what she said. She just kept on rambling.

Marinette drove home to her apartment after the interview, and all she wanted to do was lay in bed and moped. She’d messed up so badly . What was she going to do now? Well, it was back to job searching again.

She’d spent a few hours moping in bed and against her will, the kwami forced her to get out of the house and get some fresh air. Marinette ended up walking to a park that was nearby. It was cool outside. It wasn’t too hot, and not that cold, but because of the side effects of wielding Tikki, Marinette had to wear a hoodie. She looked… decent if you asked her. Tikki said she was “totally rocking the casual vibe”. Marinette had no idea where Tikki learned that from. It was probably from Adrien. Definitely.

Some kids ran past her as she walked around, giggling. Marinette realized they were playing tag. How long had it been since she had last played that? Since école primaire? Marinette wondered what it would be like to be a child again, to be young and free. Back then, she hadn’t had Hawkmoth to worry about, she had no friend drama, no boy trouble, and no need to worry about her future. Her life consisted of school and playing. But life wasn’t as simple as that. Being a child meant being blind to the world. Growing up meant putting on glasses and realizing the things you didn’t see before.

The park was quite nice. There was a row of trees that provided shade from the sun. Marinette walked along the shady path. There was so much life here. She could feel every movement in the vicinity; bees buzzing, squirrels foraging for food, children playing, people talking, dogs barking. Tikki was the kwami of Creation, and Marinette thrived off of it. It wasn’t enough to make her feel better, though.

It had been years since collège, but she was still so clumsy and accident-prone and full of bad luck. Marinette kicked a random rock with her shoe and watched as it skidded away and finally stopped. She took a seat at a random bench nearby and buried her face in her hands.

Tikki had explained it to her before, she had good luck as Ladybug, so she had not-so-good luck as Marinette. It was all about balance. But she wasn’t Ladybug anymore. Sure, Marinette still wore the earrings, but she hardly ever transformed. Most situations didn’t call for it. So couldn’t something good happen for once? Because it honestly felt like her luck as Marinette had been getting worse recently.

Sighing, Marinette pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. She gently rocked back and forth. Leaving Paris had been hard. Leaving her maman and papa was tough. Paris was where she grew up, and Marinette had always imagined living there until her hair turned gray. What was she doing in Blüdhaven, of all places? She was lost, so lost , and Marinette didn’t know who to go to for help.

Everyone she loved was an ocean away, and they were probably asleep right now. The kwami were fun to talk to, and Wayzz always had some words of advice to give, but being literal miniature gods, they didn’t always understand “human” things. And she had just moved to Blüdhaven, she knew no one here. Not really.

Marinette sighed again and let go of her legs. She decided to do some people-watching. Maybe that would take her mind off of things…

The children who were playing tag earlier were now playing hide-and-seek. Marinette watched with a small smile as the children hid. The places they hid were so obvious , of course, they were going to get caught. Was this how her parents viewed her as a child when she tried to “hide”? It was cute, watching them, and seeing how surprised they were when they were found.

She was so caught up in watching the kids that she didn’t know someone else had joined her on the bench. It only came to her attention when she heard a bark right next to her.

“Haley!” A man’s voice scolded.

Looking to her right, Marinette met the eyes of the owner of the voice. Their eyes were blue, just like hers. He smiled at her. She tried to smile back.

“Hi!”

“...hi,” Marinette waved, half-whispering.

“Sorry about Haley, she saw a squirrel and got excited,”

“Oh don’t worry about it,” and Marinette turned to look at Haley.

Haley had blue eyes, too, and gray and white fur. But her right foreleg…

The man seemed to notice where she was looking and said, “She was like this when I found her. I’m not sure what happened to her leg. I rescued her from some teenagers who were making fun of her missing a leg.”

“That’s terrible! I mean, them making fun of her just because she’s missing a leg. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m glad you saved her.”

“Well, I’m glad too,” the man looked at Haley, “but it does take some energy to look after her. I wouldn’t trade Haley for any other dog in the world, though.”

Nodding her head, Marinette added, “Yeah, taking care of animals can be tough. I know a guy who has a crocodile for a pet. The crocodile’s name is Fang. But, growing up, I never had any pets,”

“Really? A crocodile? Wow. May I ask why you never had a pet?”

Marinette didn’t know why she was so willing to have a conversation with a complete stranger, but it was sort of nice to chat with someone who didn’t know who she was, didn’t know her past, and didn’t have too many expectations of her. So she indulged him.

“I’m not from around here. I actually grew up in Paris. My parents own a bakery, so having a pet would be a safety hazard. One of its hairs could end up in a customer’s food and that would be bad. I always wanted a hamster though.”

“That’s really cool. I bet the bakery always smells amazing . My grandfather cooks and whenever I come over, there’s always something being made in the kitchen. It sucks that you couldn’t have a pet because of that. Hamsters are really cute! And, you know, my little brother actually has a collection of pets. He has a dog, a cat, and even a cow and a turkey!”

“Really? Your little brother must really love animals,”

The man turned to look around the park. He had a fond smile on his face. “Yeah, he does,”

He must really love his family.

They didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes. Marinette spent that time watching the man. He was… handsome, caring, and a nice person to talk to. Talking with him had actually made her feel better.

“So,” Marinette began, and the man turned back towards her again. “Can I pet Haley?”

“Why don’t you ask her?”

She tilted her head to the side, to convey her confusion. The man laughed. “Just watch,”

He held his hands out towards Haley and she readily climbed into his arms, her tail wagging.

“Hold your arms out. If Haley moves toward you, you’re good to pet her. But if she moves away, you shouldn’t. Haley sometimes has trouble trusting new people because of her past,”

The man set Haley down and Marinette gave it a try. Holding her arms out, she waited to see Haley’s reaction. But Haley didn’t move. She didn’t move towards her, but she also didn’t move away from her. Getting the hint, Marinette put her hands down.

“By the way, I was wondering, why’d you sit at the Happy Bench?”

“The what?”

He nodded towards a sign on the bench, one that she hadn’t noticed when she first sat down.

" The 'Happy to Chat' Bench. Sit here if you don't mind someone stopping to say hello. "

“I mean, I was just wondering, since most people steer clear of this bench, but now that I think about it, you told me that you’re from Paris, so you probably didn’t know.”

Well, this was sort of embarrassing.

“Actually,” Marinette hesitated, “I didn’t notice the sign when I sat here. I was having a bad day, so I went here to get some fresh air. I walked around for a while and sat here to rest. I completely missed the sign,”

“Really? I hope your bad day gets better. May the rainy clouds over your head turn into sunshine and rainbows!”

“It already has, thanks to you,” she admitted.

The man looked surprised. “Oh, well, I’m glad I could do that for you! And, I’m sorry if I’m being too nosy, but do you want to talk about what happened?”

“I don’t mind. I actually had an interview today, but I totally ruined it. I bumped into someone and they were holding a cup of coffee at that time. The coffee ruined their clothes and my hand got burnt,” Marinette held up her bandaged hand when she said the last part.

“And, get this, the guy I stumbled into turns out to be the Co-CEO of W.E., Mr. Drake-Wayne! I applied to be his secretary and I spilled his coffee on him! I had to sit through the entire interview with him and I was mortified . I don’t even remember most of the things I said during the interview. God that’s got to be the most embarrassing thing ever . There’s no way I’ll be getting the job, which means I need to go searching again.”

“Wait, you got an interview at Wayne Enterprises? Wow, I heard that to even be asked to go in for an interview there is pretty impressive. You must be someone really talented. And you spilled coffee on the Co-CEO?”

The man’s eyes lit up for some reason at the mention of W.E. and Mr. Drake-Wayne, and Marinette wasn’t quite sure why. Ehh, she mentally shrugged. Just roll with it.

“Yeah, I guess so, but as I said, I ruined it. I hope he was okay. He didn’t seem to show any pain after getting splashed. I don’t know if he was just hiding his pain or genuinely didn’t feel anything. He’s so young, I guess I just can’t help but worry.”

He didn’t really say anything in response and just nodded his head. Haley barked again, and Marinette decided to try and see if she would let her pet her again.

Holding her arms out, she waited for a few seconds, and it looked like Haley wasn’t interested in getting petted, but a few moments later, Haley nuzzled her head into her arms.

“ Awww ! Haley is so adorable !”

Marinette petted Haley on the chest, neck, and shoulders. Her fur was so soft and warm and well looked after.

“Who’s a good girl?” She teased, and Haley let out a high-pitched. “That’s right Haley, you are,”

“Hahaha, don’t take Haley away from me!”

Batting her eyelashes at the man, she joked, “Oh, I could never ! But I can’t help it if Haley likes me better,”

“I’m sure Haley still loves me more. She can recognize who her owner is. Isn’t that right, Haley?”

Haley didn’t budge an inch from her arms. The man gasped, “How could you Haley? I thought you loved me!”

She couldn’t help but giggle. “There’s no need to be that dramatic. Haley does love you. Just not as much as me,”

“I have never been more betrayed in my life! My own dog, preferring someone else over me!”

Marinette was about to say something when the streetlamps turned on. The sky was getting darker, and more people were leaving the park, rather than going in.

Had it really been that long?

The man beside her noticed it, too. “Ah, I should get going now, I have plans with my family tonight. It was nice talking to you! Guess I’ll see you around,”

“Bye,” she waved.

Once he disappeared from sight, Marinette stood up. The sign caught her eye, and Marinette gazed at it, smiling. This bench was a lucky one. It cheered her up through the form of a man and his dog.

一

“Marinette!! Wake up!!” A bright and cheery voice urged, tugging on her blanket.

“Mmhm,” she grumbled, “five more minutes, Tikki,”

“Come on… you need to wake up! You got an email from Wayne Enterprises! It says so on your phone,”

“ What ?”

In an instant, she was up, and Marinette grabbed her phone off the table next to her bed. Sure enough, there was an email. The surprise drained out of her and Marinette slumped. It was probably sent as a courtesy, there was no way she’d gotten the job. But Marinette looked at it anyway.

Dear Ms. Dupain-Cheng, After careful consideration on my part, I would like to offer you the position of being my secretary. To confirm your acceptance of this job offer, please fill out the attached forms and email them to this account. Further details will be provided after the needed forms are signed. Please email any questions or concerns you may have to me. I look forward to our next meeting. Sincerely, Timothy Drake-Wayne Co-CEO of Wayne Enterprises

“ What ?!” She repeated, this time in a different tone. How was this possible? Hadn’t she completely bombed the interview? Marinette decided that maybe it was best to just not question it.

Getting to her feet, Marinette hurriedly made her bed and changed out of her pajamas. She walked out of her bedroom and to her office, where her laptop was and opened up the email again. Okay, this wasn’t a dream, she had actually gotten the job! And it looked like she had lots of paperwork to fill out… Groaning, Marinette got to work.

一

“Good morning Ms. Dupain-Cheng,” her new boss greeted her.

“Good morning Mr. Drake-Wayne!” Marinette said, from where she was sitting at her desk. “You have a meeting with the Board at 11:00 AM and I just forwarded a proposal from the Head of the Marketing Department for you to review. I’ll send someone to bring you a cup of coffee as well.”

Mr. Drake-Wayne smiled, “Thank you Ms. Dupain-Cheng, I don’t know how I’d do it without you,”

Marinette waved his words off, “You’ve been doing fine before I joined the company, and I’m just doing my job,”

Her boss entered his office and they both got to work. Marinette’s job mostly consisted of reading and sending emails, scheduling appointments, keeping Mr. Drake-Wayne on track, among other things.

Eleven o’clock came sooner than expected, and he was off to his meeting. Marinette sent him well wishes. The Board consisted mostly of stuffy old rich white men who only thought about themselves and their money. They were a pain to deal with.

After a no doubt excruciating hour and a half, Mr. Drake-Wayne came trudging back to his office. She took pity on him, and sent for one of the interns to bring him another cup of coffee. He looked eternally grateful for it.

Honestly, Marinette had no idea what Bruce Wayne had in mind by placing the weight of his company on his son’s shoulders. Sure, the two of them were “Co-CEOs”, but Mr. Drake-Wayne was the only person at the company everyday. Maybe Mr. Wayne did do some things behind the scenes but everything else was all Mr. Drake-Wayne.

He was younger than her and under so much pressure. Her boss pulled countless overnighters at the company. During their busiest times, he didn’t even go home! He just slept in his office. Mr. Drake-Wayne wasn’t getting much sleep though. There were always dark circles under his eyes, and kwami knows how much caffeine he consumed. He was running himself ragged, and Marinette didn’t know how much longer he could keep up. And Marinette would be the last to say that Mr. Drake-Wayne wasn’t capable at doing his job, but people have limits.

She shook her head. One day, Marinette was going to have to stage an intervention.

Lunch rolled around soon enough and Marinette had gone to the employee’s lounge to grab her food from the refrigerator. One of her colleagues invited her to have lunch with the rest of them, but she declined. Eating by herself meant getting some work done at the same time. Another time, she’d told her co-worker.

Marinette sat at her desk tapping away on her laptop. She stopped every few minutes to eat her lunch. Marinette was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t notice someone had come up to her desk until they cleared their throat.

“Oh!” she exclaimed in surprise. “It’s you,”

The man from the park a few weeks ago looked back at her. He waved. “Hi, and yeah, it’s me,”

“Can I help you with something?”

“Actually, I came to check on you. I wanted to see how you’re adjusting to working as a secretary,”

She raised an eyebrow. Why was he checking on her? And how did he know she got the job? There was something fishy going on here.

“I’m doing fine,”

He beamed at her. “Great! I-”

Before the man could finish his sentence, Mr. Drake-Wayne came out of his office. “Dick? What are you doing here?”

“I was just visiting, Tim,”

“I’m not letting you take my coffee away from me!”

“I’m not here to do that!”

Mr. Drake-Wayne crossed his arms. “Then what are you here for? To see Marinette?”

“Yes, actually,”

Marinette glanced back and forth at Mr. Drake-Wayne and the man. Her boss had said his name was Dick?

“Uh,” she started awkwardly, and the two turned to look at her, “do you two know each other?”

“Dick is my brother. I’m sorry if he did anything to bother you. Feel free to kick him out,”

“Hey!” Dick squawked indignantly.

“It’s fine! He hasn’t bothered me at all. You should go eat your lunch now, you have another meeting at 2:00 PM.”

Her boss groaned but moved along.

Once he was gone, Dick turned back to her.

“Soo, your name is Marinette?”

She nodded. “And yours is Dick?”

“Yeah.”

Dick was Mr. Drake-Wayne’s older brother, and they’d met at that park and一

“Wait,” Marinette blurted out, and then she narrowed her eyes at Dick. “Are you the reason I got this job?”

“No… I just asked Tim about you…” Dick looked away sheepishly.

“You convinced Mr. Drake-Wayne to hire me?”

Becoming Mr. Drake-Wayne’s secretary was a miracle for her, and Marinette had thought she’d just been lucky. But it turned out someone had been pulling the strings for her. She had to admit that it disappointed her a little.

“I didn’t! When I asked him about you, he told me he was already planning on hiring you! I didn’t convince him to do anything, I swear. You can ask Tim!”

He sounded so earnest, and Marinette sighed. “Okay, let’s say I believe you. What’s your actual reason for visiting? If you wanted to check on me you could just ask Mr. Drake-Wayne, since he’s your brother,”

“Well, Haley’s been whining to see you again, so I was wondering if you had the time to meet?”

Marinette turned pink. “Do you mean this as a date or…” she trailed off.

“A-as a date, that is, if you want it to be,”

She considered his words. Dick fidgeted, as if he was nervous to hear her decision. It didn’t take her long to figure out what she wanted.

“Yeah, I’d like that,”

Dick instantly lit up. “Really? That, that’s great!”

She nodded. “We can figure out the details later, outside of working hours. Here’s my number,”

“Alright, I’ll text you when you’re free!” And then Dick left.

Once he did, Marinette couldn’t stop the giddy smile that spread across her face. But she had to control herself when Mr. Drake-Wayne came back from lunch.

He noticed his brother left. “Everything good, Ms. Dupain-Cheng?”

“Yes, Mr. Drake-Wayne, everything’s good. More than good, even,”

#maribat #dickinette #mlb x dc #dc x mlb #mgimixer2022 #mgimixer

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healinghks · 11 months

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Two Different Places

You’re in a band van with your lover.

I’m in a bed, alone, staring at the ceiling and wondering what the hell happened. I haven’t eaten today. I’ve gotten maybe 7 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, 2 of which happened to overlap with my first work meeting. I’m off to a great start there; late to my first ever assignment.

Everything is gone and I don’t know why.

Everything reminds me of you. Even this bed I’m in. Laying here and staring up at the empty ceiling, I think of you. The last time I was in this bed, I called you, high out my mind on New Years, pupils dilated to the point that there were only little slivers of green remaining. You laughed with me and made that your contact picture. I was just starting to get to know you. I didn’t know you fully, yet, and my consciousness knew that I couldn’t handle emotional connection. I was too broken. But my subconscious persisted, telling me there was something there. It manifested in calls at 3am with the opening line, “I’m not sure why I’m calling you.” Now, it’s 3am and I’m alone in this fucking bed. Dallas, Texas happens to be a prominent place in both the beginning and end of this story.

Everything that reminds me of you is a knife to the gut because I know now that none of it was real. So many random memories keep floating in my head. That drunk old guy in Weston. Sex on your front porch. Studying in your house. Finally learning how to squat correctly. A remarkable night. Valentine’s Day and watching the singers passive-aggressively fight with one another on stage. Surprising you at your show. The old man bar on St. Patrick’s Day. The Real Love Baby song in my living room. Getting overstimulated at Costco. The zoo with my mom and the fighting hippos. Smashing into you on that one ride at Worlds of Fun because we rode together because we’re not good at being apart. The graveyard. Playing guitar in your living room. Telling you my deepest triggers in your bedroom. Seeing you sit in my dad’s spot on my childhood dining room table. You playing your guitar for my mom. Writing you a love letter and being brave enough to send it. Getting stuck in a tree. Unraveling in a forrest with psilocybin. And finally… just one night before D-Day, you held me in your arms and said, “It’s so nice to be in love.” I felt it, too. The euphoria. The sense of safety. The feeling of trust. I didn’t know at that time that you were returning from a night out with your other lover. You’re really The Man, coming home from your Wednesday night out with your other lover to me naked in your bed. You’re The Man, baby, and I’m the fool.

Now I’m left to wonder, how many of those memories are tainted by her and your lie? Did you two fuck on your front porch? Does she like roller coasters? Do you do mushrooms with her, too? Is she more fun to sleep with? Do you hold her the way you hold me? She sleeps on my side of your bed…

What adds insult to injury is thinking about how you must have reassured her. She told me she thought about walking away because she didn’t think you were acting correctly towards me. What did you say to her to make her change her mind? I’m so heartbroken thinking about that. She was making valid, concerning points, but you must have loved her so much that you were willing to discount me in favor of her. You pretended I was okay with your secrecy just so that you could comfort her and beg her to stick around. You made up words you wanted to hear so that you could get love from many directions. You were selfish and extrapolated a brief sentence I said in February to mean something completely different and you carried it all the way into June. You made up a “boundary” that didn’t exist (and made no logical sense), because you are selfish. You invented your own reality at the expense of the honesty and respect I deserved.

I guess I can’t blame you for picking her. She’s tall and cool. She plays guitar and sings and roller skates. She has the same job as you and same schedule. She’s skinny and has cool makeup. She probably looks better than me naked. I’m the former fat girl with stretch marks and loose skin. I wake up everyday 5 minutes before I leave. I usually don’t put any effort into my appearance. My hair is damaged and thin and falls out sometimes. I can’t sing, I’m too clumsy to roller skate, and I study most of the day. I’m spending 3 years learning how to work a Monday-Friday 9-5. She can party on weekday nights. She’s a rockstar and I’m a boring, ugly, nerdy lawyer. She’s cool, calm, and collected, and I take anti-anxiety medication daily. I get it; it’s the better choice for you. The cool rockstar vs. the 9-5 lawyer. It isn’t even a question, really; it just makes sense.

I just can’t bring myself to believe that it was happening all under my nose. I had a feeling, but I ignored it. I remember how you told me about how your ex would always accuse you of being with other girls, so I resisted asking you. But you’d constantly talk about how cool this girl is, how your other friends just misunderstand her, how talented she is, whatever. The only thing that comforted my growing insecurity about how much you talked about her was that she was your close friend’s ex. My brain said, “He wouldn’t do that.” Yet here we are. I’m a fool for ever believing that I could be loved in the way I thought I was being loved. I’m never enough. Nobody ever wants to know the full me.

My brain told me there’s a lot of things you wouldn’t do. My heart and my brain convinced me that you were someone who told the truth. I bared my soul to you, becoming more open with you than with anyone I have ever been with in my life. I told you my deepest fears, my most painful memories, and my embarrassing secrets. Just for you to tell them to another woman in secret.

I loved you. You made me feel more like myself than anyone ever has. You saw me transition from being an extremely guarded, suspicious, and closed-off person to someone who felt comfortable being fully open and fully myself. My trust grew, and so too did my skills in allowing myself to be vulnerable. All for nothing. All in vain pursuit of a man who was never emotionally open to begin with.

Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I told you all of my deepest scars about betrayal and then you used them against me to betray me too. To pour salt into the wound, you recruited all of your friends to betray me, too. You pretended to listen to my triggers just so that you could craft the perfect way to break me. You watched me recover and bloom and put my pieces back together, just to throw me back on the ground so that I’m forced to start all over.

Did all of you involved in this secret ever take a second to stop and think that I’ve fucking had enough? In the past two years, I watched my dad slowly die. I got emotionally and physically abused. I was violently raped. I got a restraining order. I undertook the most strenuous academic journey of my life. You stood beside me during it. Just to make this harder for when you would inevitably decide that I’m just not cool enough.

You were the only man I ever told about being raped. I gave you all the painful details about being held down and crying. After that, I used to have sex on autopilot. It was a talent, really; I could disconnect my brain and my heart from my body and give in to sex because it was always safer to just make myself get “in the mood” than to deal with potential violence from saying no. I learned how to fake moan, how to give quick blowjobs, and how to be a perfect fuck doll. But you made me feel like I had autonomy. You held me. You focused on my pleasure. I blossomed from being closed and reserved to owning my beautiful sexuality. It’s all gone now. It’s safer, now, for me to just go back to being a sex object. It appears that I am destined for a lifetime of guys who will fuck me and then confess that they just wanted to “hit it and quit it” with me. At least they tell the truth. The 5 minutes of intimacy with those guys is 5 minutes of intense dopamine and oxytocin, followed by the inevitable crash I get when they leave and I’m left to lay in my bed in the dark and wonder why I’m nothing but a vagina to most men. The 5 minutes isn’t usually worth it. I was used to feeling like a vessel for men to masturbate into, but with you, I felt partnership. It’s all gone now.

Is she worth it? Is she worth the fact that you blew everything up? Or do you love her so much more than me anyways, so of course it’s worth it and it’s not even a question?

Why was I not worthy of honesty? Why was I not worthy of respect? I’m left to discern every memory I have with you to figure out what was real and what wasn’t. I’m left to figure out when you were with her when you weren’t answering me. I’m left to reflect on all the times I needed you or wanted you but you couldn’t support me because you were fucking her. I’ve done so much drinking and various drugs over the past 48 hours, but I still lay here like this. All the drugs in the world still aren’t numbing me. You’re a fucking tumor growing on what should have been my weekend to feel the joy and euphoria of being with my friends. You’re a destroyer of what was and what should have been.

Why are YOU like this? Why do you need to be admired? Are you just a narcissist? You blamed me. You told me that you fell in love with her because I was too busy. I told you that I spent all of my free time with you, and you told me, “Well, I have a lot more free time than you do.” Could you not have gotten a hobby? Cleaned your house? Maybe put more time into your jobs? Worked towards your goals? Do you just prefer being mediocre at a lot of things instead of being really good at any of them? Are you so needy that you have to have romantic intimacy occurring at all times of your day from multiple sources? You remind me of my fucking ex in that regard. He was so desperate to be admired that he’d fuck whoever, whenever. Are you so opposed and avoidant to commitment that you’d rather show up partially-present in multiple women’s lives instead of fully present in one’s? You don’t have the bravery to commit that monogamy requires and you also don’t have the courage to get all of your partners’ consent that polyamory requires. You’re uniquely failing at both monogamy and polyamory. What a talent.

Have you never considered just going to fucking therapy? Maybe instead of trying to be everyone’s therapist, you could take some time to lean inward. Maybe instead of trying to make everyone feel seen, you could try to see yourself.

What hurts, too, is how nonjudgmental you were to me when I said that I struggled maintaining my own personal identity in relationships. I confessed to you that in relationships, I tend to spend all my time with a partner and neglect my personal passions, friends, and family. I told you that I was actually excited that our schedules were so different because it would give me an opportunity to experience honest, secure love for the first time. You told me you thought that was good and that you were proud of me for making these realizations. Little did I know that you had an entire other lover. Little did I know that it was YOU who truly struggled to maintain an independent identity. You feel compelled to spend all your time partnered, I guess?

I just don’t understand. Months ago, you told me you weren’t ready to commit to a relationship until you have more time to decide if you’re serious enough about me to give up polyamory in favor of monogamy. You told me that, at your age, you’re ready for seriousness because you’re ready to work towards starting a family. You said you can’t do casual anymore and you can’t fuck around anymore because you’re wanting serious relationships only at this point in your life. You needed to plan things out with me and continue to get to know me before we started putting a label on things. I thought that “getting to know me” meant you were going to try for me. It was so, so clear that I wasn’t willing to deal with you having another partner, but you deluded yourself into thinking that I was okay with it. Even if we hadn’t had the D-Day Conversation, you KNEW how I felt and kept progressing your other relationship and ours in spite of my feelings. You heard what you wanted to hear. You took an inch from February and ran a mile with it all the way until June.

Did you smell the seriousness you wanted “at your age” coming up with me, but then something in your subconscious convinced you to jump ship in fear with some phony determination that I was okay with this? Did you think you’d actually be a 40something man with kids whose baby mama was okay with you going on dates while she’s at home breastfeeding? At some point, you’ll have to grow up, right? If you actually want the life you say you do?

I don’t see you anymore. I don’t know who the hell you are. You don’t look like you. You don’t smell like you. Your hands don’t feel like yours.

I don’t see me anymore, either. I’ve spent the last 6 months growing into who I am. Figuring out the answer to the question, “Who is Helene?” has been a weekly subject for me since I started therapy. Your 20s are a time for self-exploration. But I didn’t get to do that because I was caring for a terminally ill father and then being abused. I didn’t get to start my process of answering “Who is Helene?” until I was 25, and you happened to appear by my side. Under your support, I was able to make progress towards answering that question. Now, I feel like a shell again. I’m in survival mode. I haven’t eaten. I can’t sleep. I’m saying yes to every drink or every drug that comes my way. I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. My skin broke out again. The circular bags under my eyes got bigger and darker. I look small. I’ve become a shell of myself.

What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

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wxshing-aep · 2 years

Text

“We were not eye-f*cking!” (pt 1)

Andrew Garfield x famous! reader

One Rule Series

In which Y/n and Andrew were, in fact, eye fucking

Rating: PG 13 (swearing, sexual themes, drinking, two oblivious and horny dumbasses in love, cliche costars falling for each other)

all characters are ages 20-22. Andrew is 21, Reader is 20. In this universe only Tobey’s spider-man movies have been made so Tom and Andrew are not spider-man. I also use current young Hollywood actors as characters so it’s basically present day except Andrew is the same age as them if that makes sense!

a/n: I’m thinking of making this a series? or like a collection of one shots or something idk this is also my first time ever writing a fic I normally just read them so feedback is def appreciated!

It was your first legitimate acting role: a Netflix show somewhere between a Euphoria and Friends set in college

One rule. The director, Mindy Kaling, literally gave you one rule before you even started filming. She was pretty aware of how things among a bunch of young actors would go so she gathered together the main cast for her grand speech

“Don’t date your costars” It was pretty straight-forward. Something about ‘keeping the chemistry alive for the integrity of the series’ blah blah avoiding a ‘potentially horrible breakup so you don’t hate each other’ blah ‘I’m serious’ blah blah blah

The warning was warranted. I mean if you have a bunch of hot college aged people working on a set together for months something’s bound to happen eventually. And you wanted to pay attention, you really did. You take your work seriously, but he had these stupid cute brown eyes and stupid cute hair and stupid dimples and stupid cute face and-

You get the point

so in the midst of your daydreams you’re not really paying attention to her warning… and neither is Andrew

At least you were trying to make it look like you were listening and had your eyes focusing one Mindy while your mind was elsewhere. Andrew simply either did not give a fuck or was a complete dumbass because unbeknownst to you, his eyes were fixed on you through Mindy’s entire speech only looking up after hearing Mindy clear her throat to find that she was looking directly at him

She finishes with an “I mean it, keep it in your pants” without breaking eye contact with him and he nods aggressively along with the rest of his cast mates and tries his best to act as if your pretty face wasn’t engraved into the back of his mind

You were super excited for this job, the show was expected to be huge, Netflix’s next big hit and to be honest you were a bit surprised when you got a call from your manager saying that you booked the job. It wasn’t that you didn’t think you were a good actress: you were and you know that. There were just a lot of big names on this project. The show followed the lives of 4 main girls as they navigated college: the drama, the schoolwork, the relationships, the parties; and you were cast alongside Zendaya, Florence Pugh, and Hunter Schafer so it’s understandable that you were a little intimidated

You weren’t aware of this but the casting directors loved you since they saw your first audition: a self tape sent in from your tiny New York City apartment. And they were absolutely sold after your screen test with Andrew Garfield who had already been cast and your character was a potential love interest for his so they wanted to see how you two paired together

You played Ashlynn “Ash” Douglass: an impressive student with impressive fashion sense, high school valedictorian and debate team captain with a smart mouth but the intellect to back it up. You were really excited to explore the different facets of this character and see what’s lying behind her somewhat icy exterior

Andrew played Max Kingston: who seems like he’d be a typical daddy’s money Econ major frat boy, but he’s actually one of the only people on campus that had the intellect to challenge Ash (a nickname he refuses to call her, always opting for the full ‘Ashlynn’ and always accompanied with a teasing smirk that drives her up a wall, she can’t stand the douchebag… for now

Because of the potential enemies to lovers dynamic that the directors were looking for with your characters they thought a chemistry read was necessary. It was the first scene where your characters meet: the script comprised of a lot of snarky and witty banter back and forth and a lot of underlying sexual tension. You two were electric on screen and it was no wonder that you got along so well off screen.

It didn’t take long for you to develop a crush I mean have you seen him?And he’s not just hot, like he’s definitely hot, but you think you could listen to him talk forever and you simply just really liked being around him.

After a while on set you two were nearly inseparable and it was rare to see one of you without the other. You were positive that Andrew only saw you as a friend (you’re generally a bit oblivious to these kinds of things) and never really noticed his longing stares or the way his eyes would light up when he spoke about you to anyone else

You tried your best to be as inconspicuous about your crush as possible because you think you’d die if he found out. You were clueless to the fact that he harbored feelings for you and you’d be beyond embarrassed if he knew you were into him and it was one sided so you kept it to yourself

Or at least you thought you did

Eventually you wrapped season 1 and did, in fact, successfully keep it in your pants even though Andrew had a few shirtless scenes that definitely tested your self control because damn you wanted to run your tongue down his abs

Thank god the relationship between your characters was still mostly enemies because if your lips had touched his you’re pretty sure all self control would be out the window

After filming season 1, you thought it’d be nice to host a pool party at the house the show directors had put you up in in LA which you were incredibly grateful for, it was much nicer than anywhere you’d ever lived with a huge pool outside and plenty of rooms for guests.

The show premiered on Netflix tomorrow and since the main cast (consisting of you, Zendaya, Florence and Hunter as well as Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield, and Timothée Chalamet had gotten very close during filming you wanted to throw a little rager get together to celebrate.

Hunter offered to bring the drinks since you were still 20 and therefore couldn’t buy the alcohol. The girls came over a bit earlier just to have a bit of girl time before the guys showed up. You guys had basically become a girl gang in real life similar to the way your characters were. You texted in the group chat, because of course you have a group chat, that the front door would be unlocked.

You were in the process of trying on a new bathing suit, a red bikini, you’d just bought when Hunter and Zendaya burst through the front door, Hunter holding a bottle of tequila in one hand and vodka in the other.

“I’VE GOT THE DRINKS BITCH- holy shit you look hot! Andrew’s gonna lose his fucking mind” she says nonchalantly while placing the bottles on the counter alongside some snacks and mixers that you had set out for everyone. You laughed nervously followed by a “what’s that supposed to mean?” while you put on your cover up

Without missing a beat Z responds with “girl don’t act like we didn’t see you two eye-fucking each other everyday on set”

“We- I- we were not eye-fucking” you respond just as Florence had arrived and without any other context besides your previous statement joins the conversation with an “oooh are we talking about Andrew and y/n’s super obvious eye fu-“

“WE WERE NOT EYE FUCKING!” you said incredulously only to met with an “mhmm sure keep telling yourself that babe” from Hunter. “You guys are delusional” you defended. “mm I’m not sure that we’re the delusional ones” Z answered.

“We’re just friends” “See no one who is actually just friends with someone has ever had to say that statement” Flo countered. You huffed “Guys I’m serious, there is absolutely nothing going on between me and-“ you’re interrupted by the sound the front door opening.

You had your back turned toward the door and it nearly hit you as it swung open and you’re greeted by Tom followed by Andrew and Timothée who had also decided to bring drinks “Sorry love” he apologizes for nearly taking you out with your front door

“There’s nothing going on between you and who?” Timothée asks curiously. nosy little shit

“Yea I wanna know” Andrew adds. Your eyes widen slightly as you turn back towards the girls looking for any help out of this situation only to see them all looking at you humorously “yea y/n”, Z adds teasingly “Andrew wants to know” which earns her a chuckle from Flo and a discreet flash of your middle finger

You grab the nearest bottle of alcohol and turn back towards the boys “There’s nothing going on between me and this bottle of-“ you squint to read the label “tequila! And we should fix that immediately! Shots anyone?” which was met with a chorus of yes’s

After a couple rounds of shots everyone headed to the pool and you threw your cover up onto one of the lawn chairs and just jumped in with the other girls and Timothée who had already been in the pool for about ten minutes yelling something about wanting to “destroy literally everyone in a chicken fight” (that pool game where you have a partner and are on their shoulders trying to push the other person off)

Little did you know, Andrew was in fact losing his mind over the red bikini you were wearing

It’s not that he didn’t know you were hot, he definitely knew, but fuck seeing you in that bikini was enough make him weak in the knees

In his defense he’d never seen that much of your skin before and that bikini made you look oh so tempting

And he considers himself to be a gentleman, he really does, but now he’s a little tipsy and your tits, god your tits (and he’s not even a boob guy. he considers himself an equal opportunist and at this point he might just be a you guy) are decorated in this beautiful red fabric that stirs something low in his stomach. He’s trying his best but he can’t help it and his eyes wander and end up glued to your figure watching as the water drips down your body and now he’s thinking about how it would feel to have his hands explore every inch of you and- fuck he needs to look away before his swim shorts suddenly become far too tight so with a shake of his head he muttered a “keep it in your pants, Garfield” to himself to snap himself out of it and forces himself to look away from your beautiful face and equally beautiful body that made him want to take you against the nearest-

Keep it in your pants, Garfield

He looked away and hoped he hadn’t been too obvious but judging from the way that Tom was smirking at him, arms crossed and shaking his head adding a cheeky “need a cold shower bro?” he’d been a bit obvious. He turned a little red in the face and responded with a “Fuck off mate” throwing his shirt at him while Tom laughed and Andrew made his way to the pool

Oddly enough the guys had a similar conversation with andrew in your driveway to the one you’d had with the girls before they’d come inside where basically bullied teased him about being absolutely whipped over a girl he’d never even kissed

“I’m not whipped, I just really like hanging out with her. She’s just one of my best friends” which made Timothée scoff. “No dude I’m ‘just one of your best friends’. Y/n is your favorite person on the planet and also you want her to have your children. There’s a difference” “Even if I was into her which I’m not” yeaaa no one was buying that “it’s not like I could do anything about it. Mindy made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want us dating cast members” “Right but she never said anything about hand stuff so you could probably at least get to second ba-“ Tom was cut off by Andrew smacking him in the back of the head. “I’m pretty sure the phrase ‘keep it in your pants’ also applies to hand stuff you git”

Andrew had been in the pool all of two seconds and was immediately brought out of the memory by you splashing him in the face and you honestly might as well have just declared war against him and questioned his honor because he retaliates instantly earning a giggle from you and god that is his favorite sound in the world. Your little water fight ended with him grabbing both of your hands and pinning your wrists together so you’d stop splashing him. “I’ll take that as you deciding to surrender” you quipped and he laughs. “I’ve literally pinned your hands together love”. You take a half step towards him “Yea but maybe that was my goal” You didn’t mean for it to come off as flirty as it did but hey you were several shots in and now this adonis of a man was shirtless and inches away from you. Andrew had to blink a few times to make sure he hadn’t just fabricated that entire encounter in his mind

Your little moment was interrupted by Florence demanding that everyone take more shots: an idea that Timothée decided to turn into a game by having a chicken tournament in the pool where every time you and your partner lose you take a shot.

After a good amount of rounds and a good amount of shots, the only person you hadn’t been partnered with yet was Andrew. Hunter and Flo had abandoned the game in favor of of some nearby pool floatie and Timothée just about sprinted into your kitchen when you told him you had mini corndogs in the freezer that he could make if he wanted

“Alright Daya lets kick some ass” Tom says to Z as she’s perched on his shoulders and she laughs which she’s been doing at almost everything Tom has said during this entire endeavor (like we get he’s funny but he’s not that funny) but right now you’re not sober enough to care so you store that information away for later and turn towards Andrew. “Alright you ready?” “Hell yea”

Andrew is an absolute ray of sunshine but he’s also extremely competitive and would also never pass up an opportunity to have his head between your thighs so he’s very excited for this game. He submerges himself so you can get on his shoulders and comes back up. You move his hair out of his eyes for him as he steadies you, anchoring you to his shoulders with his hands on your thighs and god do his hands feel nice on you.

“Ready-“ Timmy decided to return to the poolside with a plate of mini corn dogs to officiate and record this momentous occasion on his phone. “Set. Go!” Now the thing is you are also competitive as hell so if there’s one thing you’re gonna do, it’s win and after about a minute you manage to push Z off of Tom’s shoulders earning cheers from your friends. Andrew lowers himself to let you down but hooks his arms back around your legs when they drop near his waist so he’s now giving you a piggy back ride. He rubs small circles on your leg with his thumb and you rest your head on his shoulder but no one is sober enough to make a smart comment about the slightly more than friendly nature of your current behavior. A new conversation starts but neither of you are really paying attention. Andrew turns his head towards you causing you to look at him. No one’s paying attention to the two of you but you still decide to send him a playful “stop staring”. He just smirks, his face inches from yours. “M’not staring” He dares to nudge his face a little closer to yours “I’m admiring” he says in a whisper so low that you think you’d miss it if you weren’t this close to him and you’re now nose to nose and with your body still pressed against him and with the way he was looking you- okay maybe there was some occasional eye fucking between you two- you were about to throw all caution to the wind and just fuck it (or more importantly fuck him) when-

“GUYS TWITTER IS SAYING THEY’VE PUT CARS 2 ON DISNEY PLUS! EVERYONE GET YOUR ASS INSIDE WE’RE HAVING A MOVIE MARATHON RIGHT NOW” Flo yells from the poolside chair that she’s claimed and you and Andrew are pulled from your little moment as he sets you down to follow the others inside

“I’m not sure if two movies counts as a marathon Flo” you comment. “Well, good thing it’s 3 movies then” “Mm cars 3 is more of a spin off-“

As you grab you towel and dry off by the pool before heading inside you sneak a glance and Andrew who’s drying off a few feet away only to find that those brown eyes are already on you, both of you thinking the same thing: god I’m fucked.

read part 2 here!

god that was way longer than I expected lol but andrew x costar reader so true!

#andrew garfield #andrew garfield x reader #andrew garfield x female reader #andrew garfield x you #andrew garfield imagine #andrew garfield imagines #andrew garfield x famous! reader #famous!reader

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desiredmalfoy · 3 years

Text

Star Crossed Lovers

Word Count: 1.6k

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Muggle Reader

Genre: Angst (I’m so sorry for the ending….)

Universe: Wizarding War happens in this universe.

I cried while writing the ending :) I’m a very sensitive person. I apologize for any mistakes.

Listen to “The One That Got Away” cover by Brielle Von Hugel for the full experience while reading if you would like.

(Gif is not mine. Credit to the owner)

Summer after high school when we first met

You had met a couple of weeks you had just finished your last year at school. You were off to university in just two months and you wanted to enjoy your life before you were stuck once again in an absolute mundane routine. You weren’t one to party much but your friends had decided to take you to various pubs for the first time in your life.

That’s when you met him.

He was standing near the bar with a couple more guys surrounding him. His laughter could somehow be heard over the slight music and noise of the pub. You were pulled toward him, your friend Mia had actually met one of the guys in his group just last week. You felt as if the universe was pulling you to him. You gravitated toward him.

“Hello beautiful, my name is Fred”, a voice sweet as honey snapped you out of your train of thought. He smiled warmly at you as waited for your response.

“Pleasure to meet you, Fred. My name is (Y/N)”, you extended your hand to introduce yourself. He grabbed your smaller hand and firmly shook it. Electricity seems to be coursing through your body. As if it was a sign from up above.

“A name so beautiful to fit such a lovely girl.”

As the night dragged on, you spent your time with him. It felt as if you had known him your entire life. The conversation flowed so easily that it seemed as if you had met him before. You felt as if you knew him from somewhere. He looked at you as if you were talking about the most interesting things ever. Before you knew it, it was time to go as your friends were starting to get tired and were very much tipsy.

“It was very fun getting to know you”, he spoke as he swished the drink in his hand a bit.

“I hope to see you again. I’ve enjoyed our time together.”

“I hope so too”, he answered. “Jack said he wanted to return here next week.”

“I will see you here next week if you would like”, you responded boldly. You grabbed a small piece of paper and pen from your purse and scribbled your number on the page. “But here is my number in case there is a change of plans.”

“Thank you.”, his smile warms your heart instantly as you placed the paper in his hand. “Maybe next time you’ll be able to meet my twin George.”

“Is he anything like you?” You teased him.

“Same face but completely different personality.” Fred laughed.

We'd keep all our promises. Be us against the world

What (y/n) didn’t know was that meeting Fred that night would a once in a lifetime chance. One of his muggle friends during his years at Hogwarts had convinced him to go with him and some other guys to some pubs in the muggle world. Fred was hesitant at first, he knew they had the responsibility of the shop. But George had convinced him to go after he had been feeling stuck for a while.

Meeting you, a girl he would have never crossed paths with if he had not taken his friend up on his offer, was once in a lifetime experience.

The relationship progressed nicely as you both got to know each other. He spoke about his parents and all the siblings he had. He spoke about them with much love. You knew his likes and dislikes. Your heart fluttered every time you heard him say “hello beautiful”.

But there were things you had yet to know about him. He was very discrete in certain aspects of his life. Your parents had gifted you a flat to gain some independence as university and adulthood approached. Which was a good thing because most of your dates took place at your flat or going out. You didn’t mind though, you simply wanted to spend time with Fred.

He was very unaware of certain technology. He’d always tell you his parents weren’t big on modern technology, which is why he hadn’t ever watched tv or used a phone. You loved to show him the wonders of the world he was yet to experience. From your favorite films to your favorite songs. The two of you danced the night away.

You still remembered the first time he kissed you. Fred and you had been listening to some music, dancing around your living room. The song ended and you both crashed on the sofa with you accidentally landing on top of him. As you both attempted to catch your breath, you looked into his brown eyes. Time seemed to freeze as you both were now looking at each other, not saying a single word.

He leaned forward and placed a desperate kiss on your lips. One that felt so right. Lifting your lips only from him momentarily to catch your breath before you straddled his hips. You leaned in to continue the kiss, each movement becoming more desperate than the last. You don’t know how long you stayed like this, but you wouldn’t care if it was for eternity.

“You're so beautiful”, Fred said a bit out of breath as he grabbed your face and brought it close to his. This time placing a small kiss on your lips. “ I don’t know how I ever got so lucky.”

“I need you Fred”, you whispered as you brought him towards you. “I need you.”

“Then you’ll have me beautiful.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Never planned that one day I'd be losing you

You wished that things would’ve stayed perfect. Just like a dream. But even the most perfect dreams are eventually shattered. Everything was going well for the past six months and then suddenly he begun to act differently. Fred seemed more stressed than usual but blamed it on his job. He had told you that he just worked in a shop in town. The visits from him become much more scarce as the weeks drag on. He used to come in every other day but now you were lucky if you saw him every week. University kept you busy though, which helped distract you from the absence of your boyfriend.

Every time he showed up at your flat, he looked like a former shell of himself. His already pale skin, becoming even more white. The dark rings around his eyes seemed more prominent than the last time you saw him. He looked so broken.

“Fred you need to talk to me. What’s wrong.” You begged him as you followed him from your room to the living room of your flat.

“Nothing is wrong. Why can’t you understand that.” Fred ran his hand angrily through his messy hair.

“You need to stop lying to me.” Your voice began to crack from the desperation you were feeling.

“You can’t help me because nothing is wrong!”

“But I want to try to”, you were now fully crying at this point. Tears were streaming down your face as you reached for his hand. An act of desperation. “Why don’t you trust me?”

He turned to face you and looked down at your hand that grasped his much larger one. You thought he was about to tell you what was truly bothering you but you were wrong.

He pulled his hand out of yours and walked to leave. His voice began to crack. “I love you but I can’t. I’m sorry we need a break.”

With that, he closed the door to your relationship. You stood dumbfounded in the middle of your living room as you watched the love of your life walk away.

Sadness filled your body as you collapsed on the floor crying. Crying so hard that no noise escaped your mouth. You felt numb. All you could feel was the cold of the tile numbing your body. You wanted to run after him, beg him to stay. But it was too late now. You didn’t even have a number to reach him at. He said they didn’t use phones.

In another life, I would make you stay.

The days passed and you had yet to hear from him. You felt empty as your days went on. Your daily routine felt so numbing as you continued on with your day. You hoped every day that he would come knocking on your door ready to finally speak to you.

Your friends heard of your breakup and started to take you out again to the pubs. You only went hoping to see him again. But he was never there, neither were any of his friends.

You missed him so much.

You stayed home after that and listened to all the songs the two of you like to listen to together. Reminiscing of every memory you had together. Every moment the two of you shared. Every touch, every kiss, and every moment of intimacy.

You missed him every second of your life.

Never planned that one day I'd be losing you

You didn’t know that somewhere else Fred was taking his final breath. As his thoughts lingered on a lover he never got to say goodbye to. A lover that when he last saw her, it ended in a screaming match. A lover he was going to visit after this blasted war, and finally explain it all to her.

One day he would see you again. One day you would be his.

You never knew what happened to the man that stole your breath away. The man that made you feel like the center of the Earth each day. The man whose touch brought you euphoria.

You moved on with your life hoping that one day you would see him for just one last time.

You got married to a wonderful person and had two children with them. But somehow he always stuck in the back of your mind.

Your life would never be complete until you heard “hello beautiful” just one more time.

And you didn’t hear that until you took your last breath. Finally joining the lover you missed.

Tag list: @daisyyy2516 @id-kill-to-be-an-assassin @slytherinambitious @bonkybabe @phatcrackdad @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @keepsmilingandstayhappy @mischiefisbeingmanaged

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crown-anon · 3 years

Note

aah i thought of a req!!!!! could i maybe request one shots or hcs (separate) w dream, sapnap, n wilbur with a s/o (preferred he/him!!) who draws a whole lot,, n one day they catch him drawing him?? tysm :]

@ghcstbnr asked

gn i just realized i made a typo i meant cc catching reader drawing them- but ty again :)

of course! it's kind of long, sorry about that

I took a little creative liberty with the notion of "catching you drawing." also Sapnap's looks kind of long but it's also dialogue heavy. if you want me to redo it, I will. hope you like it 💗

& a note to everyone else, I don't write for Wilbur yet! I only write for the dream team at this time. sorry about that! this will probably change in the future, though, so look out 👀

CW: swearing

format: one-shot

people: dreamwastaken, Sapnap

pronouns: dreamwastaken's piece is ambiguous, Sapnap's piece uses he/him

edited 27 April 2021

—

dreamwastaken

since he doesn't use his camera, you find yourself with your boyfriend in the studio more often than not. when he's gaming casually, you play together, or one of you will cheer the other one on. when he's streaming, sometimes you interact with the viewers, or read donations for him; sometimes you just sit next to him, soaking up his energy and warmth. when he's working long days and long nights to edit videos, you're content with just relaxing together in the same space. at times you have to drag him out to the kitchen to eat, or help him to bed if he passes out, but…he's really cute when he's focused. (and you're starting to think he does it on purpose just so you can dote on him.)

today is a little different. he's recording for a manhunt that's meant to drop in a couple days. you're quiet, trying to avoid disrupting them. you're perched up on the loveseat, staring fondly at him across the room. he's so animated, the way his eyes shine when he talks to his friends, how he tears up when he laughs…

Patches mews at you from the arm of the couch, as if to say, disapprovingly, I cannot believe how sickeningly sweet your inner monologue is.

and you try to understand where she's coming from, you really do, but the sun's starting to set, and the gentle rays slotting through the blinds are shifting from white to gold.

he looks so divine, you decide. it's unfair. how could I not love him? he's seriously pretty. and before you can stop yourself, you're sketching him out on your tablet. you glance up at him fast to get the details right, and look away just as quickly. he never meets your eyes. soon your whole page is covered in little Clays, capturing the way he feels, the way he acts, the way you feel about him. Patches jumps off the chair, with all the moving. and before you know it, you've drawn up a whole page of concept art of your unfairly beautiful boyfriend. Patches was right about me, you muse to yourself.

fuck. Patches. the same Patches who's been meowing at you for the better part of an hour, now sitting patiently at the door? there's no way Clay didn't pick up on all that noise, you fret. but he's still playing, looking intense as ever. relief washes over you, replacing the guilt.

come here, girl, you think to yourself, knowing Patches wouldn't have even understood you if you spoke. sorry to keep you waiting. and you rise, slipping quietly out the door with his cat in your train.

—

you're coming back to the studio. Patches, fed and sated, is napping in another room. opening the door, you have to stop yourself, you freeze. your boyfriend's kneeling on the ground, sitting on his heels, right next to the door—you'd have hit him if it opened any further.

"baby, what are you…" the words die on your tongue.

my book. my sketchbook. my sketchbook full of drawings of him. shit, he's gonna think I'm such a simp! the embarrassment, the shame, the fear, it's overwhelming you.

you hear your voice break. "…what happened to recording…?"

"finished half an hour ago," he says simply.

and that was that. for the first time in ages, the silence hanging between you was thick and heavy with tension. you wait. and wait. and wait. you wait for the criticism, the hate, the argument that never comes.

suddenly, he seems content with what he's seen, when he looks up at you adoringly, and takes one of your hands, giving it a soft squeeze. "is that…me?"

you've lost your voice, all you can do is nod.

"you…you think I'm beautiful?" he glows.

ah, I suppose I did write that, somewhere in there. you look away. all the things I've said…

he brings your hand up to his lips and leaves kisses on your knuckles.

you sound small. "do I not tell you that enough?" you pause. "that you're beautiful? that I love you?"

and just like that, his nervousness dissolves into euphoria. you both start laughing at the same time.

"oh my god—" he wheezes. "—you're so sappy."

"only for you," you blurt out, and start laughing harder. but he quiets, he hesitates.

"only for me," he repeats.

you sink down onto the floor next to him. he's staring so fondly at you, you can't help but smile back.

"only for you," you affirm.

he rests his hands on your knees, pulling himself closer to you. he's so close to you, you can feel his blush. you let your eyes close, softly.

but the kiss never comes. instead, you're met with a "then what about all those drawings of Patches?"

laying on the floor, tangled up in each other, in hysterics, you distantly think I hope he remembered to leave the call from recording earlier.

—

over dinner, you meet his gaze, and he gives you that look. that stupid, handsome look; the one with the smile and the danger behind his eyes. he makes a point of pausing mid-bite, but it takes you a minute to notice that he's stopped eating.

"what's up, honey?" you ask, sounding a little more concerned than you should have been.

he shrugs dramatically. "oh, nothing…just figured you'd appreciate a muse." there it was. the teasing. you knew it would happen eventually. but the tone, it's kind, it's tempting; gentle, unlike a serious jab.

so all you do is roll your eyes, but you can't help the way your mouth quirks into a smile. "you're so dumb," you murmur with affection, and shake your head at nothing in particular.

Patches curls her tail around your ankle as she passes you by.

—

on the couch hours later for movie night, you're the last one up. Patches is curled up in Clay's lap, purring. Clay, in turn, sleeps soundly in your lap. (you think if he could purr, he would, but he settles for humming softly when you play with his hair.) you might think it's funny looking back on it later, but it feels so tender and vulnerable now. you like calm evenings like this one. Studio Ghibli plays quietly on the flatscreen; you don't know which one, you're not really paying attention anymore.

you're busy tracing the contours of Clay's skin, feeling more than seeing his shape in the dark room. mapping him out in your mind, learning his figure like you're seeing him for the first time again. you think you understand him a little bit better, every day you spend together. and with confidence, you make your first stroke, illuminated by the moon.

—

Sapnap

you only barely stop yourself from drawing a big "X" across your paper. exhale, and start erasing furiously. don't rip the paper—well, we didn't need that sheet anyway. ball it up and throw it at the dark, cobwebbed corner of the room. along with the rest of your mistakes.

you're trying. you're really trying. but those lips. his fucking lips. fuck.

your boyfriend smiles at the camera as he gets a donation with a sweet message on it. it should be so easy. he's right there. right here.

you check the time. it's been an hour. you've been trying, and miserably failing, to get his lips right for an entire hour. today, at least. you scoff at yourself, your misery, and pinch the bridge of your nose. it isn't fair.

his camera's on, and he's live, so you know you can't be in there with him. nobody knows you're together, and you don't want know what kind of backlash to expect if people found out. so you've been avoiding his streams…the whole room where he streams, really.

you've kept yourself busy by drawing. and you've cycled through many subjects in your life, and eventually, been able to draw whatever you put your mind to with enough time and effort. the problem is, your sights have been set on Sapnap, even for months before you got together. okay, maybe that isn't the problem. the actual problem is that you fucking suck at drawing him.

you get going, start it out, do an okay job, but midway through screw it all up somehow. to make things worse, your reference is his 2D image. he doesn't…know that you draw him. you're terrified to say. so you can't use the real life Sapnap as a reference, like you would prefer.

ugh, and this one's ruined too. you rip it up and throw it at your growing pile of paper balls, but being tiny confetti-sized pieces of paper, they don't make it very far. great, something else to clean up later, you huff at your own thoughts. it isn't fair.

—

"[name]?" he calls for you. you're one step ahead, already opening the door. you can't remember when you got here and decided to brood outside his room.

"hey, do you think you can—" he tears his eyes from his camera, his waiting audience, to look up at you expectantly. when he sees you he stops immediately, looking concerned, standing to meet you.

"what is it?" your voice is flat.

out of view of the camera, he mouths, are you okay? you only shrug and avert your eyes.

he falters, contemplates, sits back down at his desk and starts to talk to his viewers. "hey guys, I'm sorry for the short notice, but I gotta cut this stream short. my…" he glances at you for approval, only to see you motioning with your hands as if to say, no, don't.

(you yourself don't really know what for. no, don't end the stream for me? no, don't out us like this?)

he looks back. "…my friend…something came up with my friend. I have to take care of it. it's really important." you can tell he has trouble finding the right words. you can tell it throws him off, he's acting out of character for his internet personality. do you blame him? isn't this your fault? "sorry again. bye guys!"

the second he made the last click, he gets up and pulls you into a hug. it's unexpected, it knocks the wind out of you. you're certain he feels the tension.

"babe…what's wrong?" it's muffled by your neck and the sweater you're wearing. you just hold him, saying nothing.

he pulls away and holds you by the shoulders. "look at me. what's wrong?"

you feel all the more embarrassed. it's so silly to be upset about. "I…I…well, it's a lot."

he shakes his head, to say I'm not going anywhere, but his expression softens, his grip loosens. "do you want to talk about it?"

you sigh. "it started as 'I can't draw for shit', then it became 'why am I afraid of asking you for help?', and finally, worst of all, 'why the fuck can't we be seen together?' it isn't fair. it's never been fair. I'm sorry."

he thinks about it for a second. "okay, what makes you feel like we can't be seen together?"

"are you joking?" you snap. "we're two fucking boyfriends. in this society." he didn't look hurt by the outburst, but the guilt crept in anyway. "…I'm sorry."

he shakes his head, "do you really think I'd let that happen? I wouldn't ever let anyone hurt you, darling. remember that."

"I know, I know…" you don't know what to say. "it's easy to forget, I guess."

"what are you afraid to ask me for help about?"

"I…" shit, you guess you have to tell him. close your eyes, breathe, "I've been drawing you. trying to draw you. but I can't, it never turns out right."

you peek, and he's red in the face, stuttering. "me? you draw me? of all the hot people out there?"

you furrow your eyebrows at him. "don't give me that shit. you know you're cute."

he shakes his head incredulously. "are we talking about the same person here?"

"dude, your smile is literally the most radiant fucking force of nature I have ever seen."

"you're hot too! why are you coming after me?"

"I'm not 'coming after you', you're being defensive about your looks, when you shouldn't be! you're gorgeous, baby."

you're both giggling like girls at a sleepover, the anger and frustration long forgotten. now it's a war of who can be more grossly in-love with the other.

"what part of me," he manages between laughs. "are you having trouble drawing?"

"oh god," you groan, remembering yourself and your dilemma. "your lips."

"my fucking lips? you would think that—"

"no," you warn. "shut up. don't say it. don't you dare say it."

he leans in close, his hands have moved up to cup your face. you shiver.

"don't worry," he grins. "I won't."

the kiss is long and sweet, nothing like the ones you've shared in the past. he takes his time, you savor each other. you feel time stop ticking, you feel your heart stop beating, you feel the way he tilts his head. you grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him in. and when you part, you're breathing heavy, in tandem.

"thanks," you manage. "but I needed to see your lips, not kiss you into next saturday."

"nah," he laughs. "I think you needed that too."

you choose your words thoughtfully. "do you need me, too?"

he hums, and—

ding!

dreamwastaken donated $69!

you could die. you could really, seriously die.

the response is instant. you don't even see Sapnap move from you to the PC, flushed down to his neck, apologizing, apologizing, and apologizing again. "change of plans, guys, we're doing an art stream!"

the chat is filled with "huh?"s and "what?"s.

"huh? what?" you didn't have the time to process what just happened.

karljacobs: I thought we were doing a make-out-with-our-secret-boyfriends stream :(

he smiled warmly at you. "yeah. my lovely boyfriend is going to draw me! he's been wanting to for a really long time, and his art is really good. let's go get your stuff."

you're in so much shock that he makes it past you and out of the room, while you stand there waiting. after a pause much longer than you intended, you hurry after him.

—

down the hall, in your room, he's got your sketchbook tucked under his arm, closed. you're sure you left it open when you came out.

you only barely get the words out. "um, did you…go through it? please don't laugh."

your heart sinks when he laughs heartily, but he grabs your hand, resting it on your book, about to hand it off. but he holds you there for a second. "of course not. I respect your privacy." he ponders for a moment. "I respect you."

you can feel the sigh of relief when you let it out. "I…love you."

your holding your book now, as he moves to collect the boxes containing your pens and pencils and colors. he gets them all together, but before he picks them up to head back, he turns around to face you. "is this too much?"

you absently reach for a hand, tracing over the lines on his palms. and you think about it. am I okay? is this too much?

"I don't think so. not with you. I'm okay."

he moves to open the door and grab the rest of your things. "well then, let's not keep them waiting!"

—

edited 27 April 2021

#dreamwastaken x reader #dream x reader #clay x reader #sapnap x reader

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keenesbeans · 4 years

Text

The Green-Eyed Monster: Part 1

Requested by @slutforthegubes: smut fic that's mgg x female reader, maybe something where he is on set of a movie and he has to film a sex scene and she gets really jealous. then they go back to his trailer and have some rough sexy times.

A/N: This is my first time ever writing smut so hopefully you guys enjoy and this is also my first request! And please let me know what you think and if there were any warnings I forgot to mention also going to post a part 2 later in the week since this one got away from me and is already at 2k words.

Taglist: @slutforthegubes

Requests are open!

Category: SMUT (NSFW)

Couple: Matthew Gray Gubler x Girlfriend!reader

Warnings: Smut, cursing, chocking, degradation, oral sex, penetration, Daddy kink.

Word Count: 2,018

******

“Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.”

- Erica Jong

You loved whenever Matthew invited you to set for Criminal Minds especially when it was for the episodes that he directed. Those were his favorite, you loved to watch his eyes light up as he told the actors what emotions they should be expressing for this particularly scene and when he told the cameraman to pan the camera down as the actress wept and fell to her knees. You loved to see your boyfriend in his nature element, he was born to be an actor and you were there to support him in every single acting job and adventure that he embarked on.

But this, you did not love to see.

Matthew had just invited you on set for a Netflix movie called Horse Girl that he had a small role in, you loved to see him work so of course you agreed to go with him, without even knowing what scene he was about to make you watch.

He knew you were the jealous type, right, RIGHT?

You knew the struggles of maintaining a relationship among actors, you being one yourself, but after 3 years of dating you had gotten use to the crazed teenager fan girls for the one and only Dr. Spencer Reid. Though you never experienced the feeling of jealously whenever you visited him on Criminal Minds because Spencer didn’t have many sexy scenes that you could have gotten jealous from.

But this ohhh, you had the slightest of inklings that Matthew knew exactly what he was doing when he invited you to set that day. You knew that he wanted to watch you squirm. Push your buttons to where you were at the point of walking off the set, but your legs betrayed you as you couldn’t help but watch the scene that unfolded in front of you.

That chain, That Stupid Fucking CHAIN

He just had to wear it to set that day. You watched it dangle back and forth as he relentlessly pounded into Alison Brie, his co-star, a sight that you were accustomed to. (Although it was always you that he was pounding into not some actresses) You would usually tug on it as he pounded into YOU, curses slipping from your lips as you felt his fingers rub circles on your clit, begging you to “come for daddy” which you did like the good girl you were for him.

You think that that’s what pissed you off most about watching the sex scene. The thought that you should be the only one to see him like this, the only one privileged enough to watch him as he experienced euphoria, the only one able to make him come undone.

You couldn’t stop yourself from raking your eyes up and down his shirtless torso, a sight that you swore you could never get enough of. You lifted your eyes back up to look at his face, loving the way his stubble perfectly accentuated his chiseled jawline. The one that you would tease him about, telling him that he was like a work of art, joking that his jawline was sculpted by Michelangelo himself. And those lips that you told him were gifts from Aphrodite herself.

You adored this man

As soon as the director yelled “CUT” you smiled gently at Matthew and gave him two thumbs to tell him that he did a great job, too good of a job in your opinion. You turned on your heels away from the sound stage and began to walk to Matthews trailer.

You were ashamed of yourself for getting jealous from his acting but also by the fact that you were extremely turned on right now. To the point where you could feel your arousal through the thin fabric of your leggings. You began to mumble curses at yourself as soon as you entered the trailer, slamming the door shut behind you. How were you going to explain yourself to Matthew when he asked you why you practically ran away from set?

Oh, I’m sorry that I”m acting like the spoiled little brat that I truly am

I’m the only one you should be destroying, not her

Not Her

Knocking you out of your thoughts, was a gentle hand being placed on your shoulder, who you immediately recognized as your loving boyfriend Matthew. Which only made you feel worse about running off of set. You turned to face him, your cheeks flushed from both embarrassment and arousal, you couldn’t place the look on his face, but as soon as your saw his plump lips turn into a smirk and you locked eyes with him. You saw how dilated his pupils were, you knew exactly how he felt.

Turned on

It was like you two didn’t even have to communicate with words, because just with a couple of seconds of staring into each other's eyes you knew exactly what was in store for you.

You began to choke slightly as he applied just the right amount of pressure against your throat as he pushed your front against the trailer door. Releasing his grip on your throat, he raked his hands up and down your torso till they landed on the curve of your hips.

“Jealousy is an ugly color on you” he whispered in your ear as he roughly thrust his impressive bulge into your backside leaving you a whimpering mess as he bought one of his hands up from your hip back to your throat, squeezing tightly exactly like he knew you loved.

“Do you know how embarrassing it was for me to see you run off of set, getting questioned by Alison, wondering why you didn’t want to meet her,” he began to shout into your ear, tears beginning to prick at your eyes as his hold on your neck tightened. You couldn’t even muster out a response (even though you knew that whatever you said wouldn’t dissuade him from giving you the punishment that he had in store for you) before he spoke again.

“No, of course you don’t because you were just acting like the selfless, fucking brat that you are! Isn’t that right y/n...” Wanting you to respond he softened the grip on your throat just enough so you could whimper out those words.

“Yes, daddy”

“Good girl at least you know how much of a fucking brat you are.” He lowered his voice this time now gently saying this into your ear as he bought his right hand up from its position holding your hips in place to stroke your hair before he removed the hand from your throat to spin you around so that you were now facing him.

He began to wipe the few tears that fell from your eyes and gave you a gentle peck on your lips raking his eyes up and down your body with concern, making sure you were okay before he continued his assault.

“Now are you going to be a good girl for daddy or am I’m going to have to punish you” he simply stated as he made direct eye contact with a glimmer of lust and darkness in his eyes.

“I will be a good girl for daddy” you gladly said back to him. Even though you did love his punishments. Right now all you wanted to do was worship this man, to tell him that no other women could make him feel as good as you did.

“Good choice princess, now why don’t you get on your knees and put that pretty little mouth to good use.”

Before the last word even came out of his mouth you were on your knees massaging the outline of his cock through the fabric of his jeans. Licking your lips you could feel how hard he was, which turned you on even more.

He began to undo his belt before you even got the chance to, you are way to entranced in stoking him through his jeans. As soon as he got his belt undone he tossed it behind him, not having a care in the world where it landed.

You helped him push his pants down to his ankles not caring right now about taking them off.

You brought one hand up to grip his shaft while the other one was pressed against his thighs. You licked your lips once again before you began to kitten lick the tip of his cock, the grunts that fell from his lips were the only thing you needed to hear from him that told you that you were doing a good job.

As soon as you brought your mouth directly on his tip, finished with teasing him and licking up his pre-cum, his hand was on the back of your head making a makeshift ponytail with your hair.

He roughly forced you to take him down his throat, clearly fed up with your teasing. Which only allowed you to moan against his length as you began to choke on his cock. He released the hold on your head slightly as you began to bob your head up and down his length, stroking whatever length couldn’t fit into your mouth.

You opened up your eyes to gauge his reaction and a moan fell from your lips when you were might with the sight of sweat beading on his forehead as he threw his head back in pure bliss. Another moan fell from his lips as you gagged on his cock. He bit down on his lips in between every moan. He was absolutely breathtaking.

Matthew began to set his own pace as he began to thrust into your mouth, you slacked your jaw to allow him to fit better and rested both of your hands against his thighs. Your eyes met as he threw his hand forward to look at you, a whimpering mess with tears streaming down your face and spit running down your chin. But to him, it was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen. Upon making eye contact with more groans fell from his mouth, and the grip on the back of your head tightened, signaling to you that he was close.

“Now that’s my good girl letting daddy fuck himself with that pretty, little mouth.” With every word muttered he thrust deeper into your mouth hitting the back of your throat every time.

But before he came Matthew pulled you off of his cock, grabbing your hands from their position previously gripping his thighs which left crescent shape marks at which he giggled at.

As you stood up wobbling a little bit from the numbness of your legs after being dormant for so long, he held you in place as you wiped the spit from your chin. When you were finished cleaning your face up, he once again brought one of his hands up to rest against your neck, like the necklace that you could never leave home without. He roughly kissed you with so much dominance and passion.

You were aggressively making out, you let him win the battle of your tongue's fight for dominance as his hands made their way behind your knees as he picked you up and sat down on the little couch that the trailer had.

Since you were straddled on his lap you began to grind your clothed pussy against his bare cock, moans began to fall from both your mouths as you threw your head back a slight giggle falling from your lips of how good this felt.

Before you could even try to get yourself off he gripped your hips holding them in place and stopped your grinding. A whimper fell from your lips as you pouted, which would have normal pissed him off but with how turned on he was now he couldn’t even think of punishing you.

He brought your lips back up to his and muttered into between kisses that you were both wearing too many clothes and that if you were going to cum it was going to be with his cock buried deep inside of you and when he commanded you to.

Part 2 coming soon!!!

#matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #horse girl #jealousy #matthew gray gubler imagine #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #matthew gray gubler smut #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds smut #criminal minds

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geekygoddesss · 4 years

Text

You

Summary: After Tom breaks the longest relationship he’s ever had, both of them seem to handle the breakup in a completely different way.

Words: 12k

A/N: first part of a serie!

“You” chapter list

January 4th, 2020 - The night

For some reason tonight Tom couldn’t keep his hands still. It was the first time in years were he was actually nervous, he didn’t like that at all.

He has gone down a couple of drinks already, the night was still young, but time was running so slow he was starting to feel this exact moment in his life would life forever, and he was starting to grow anxious as never before.

When he turned his head to the right, the only thing he could see were the blinding lights going all around the room, accompanied by the loud music and gigantic crowd that naturally came with it. If he took a closer look it was easy for him to spot familiar faces, people that were dancing and having fun without him, people he loves but that might be about to start hating him. Because he hasn’t done a single thing and he already feels like a bad person.

Those bright green eyes he knows so well shined directly towards him, and he couldn’t not spot them as they turned to him, that was something that came with having a good eye sight. The face of his girlfriend was smiling to him, waving him to come join her, but he wasn’t in the mood, so he shook his head in denial.

He knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer, he knew her like the palm of his hands, she never gave up so easily.

It was only a matter of seconds - and couple blinks - to have her standing right in front of him, hands on his shoulders and the biggest smile on her face. She was happy tonight, he felt bad.

“There you are!” she yelled, even though he could perfectly hear her, but the euphoria was kicking her hard. “Why are you sitting down?! This is a party” she fake frowned, as she took a look at him up and down.

He did what he does best, act natural and mask shit out. After all, that’s all he could possibly do to avoid tension.

“It’s called a small break, genius” he rolled his eyes, letting out a sarcastic tone that came out playful.

“Right, sorry” she said, going in to take a sit right beside him.

Feeling her arms go around his waist made him even more nervous. When he turned his head to the side, her lips crashed messily into his, greeting him peck, and letting him know she was indeed having a very fun night, but not only that, she was silently telling him she cared and she hoped he was having a good night too.

I’m a bad person.

That thought wouldn’t stop going around his head as time went by, and as he opened his eyes and saw hers, she moved over and went to take the last sip of his drink, he felt even worse. She was unusually happy, and he was about to ruin it from all sudden.

Should he give some sort of hint before exploding the bomb?

Should he leave it out for another occasion?

Would it be better is he said it now?

None, none of those answers seemed like a good option. He was second guessing himself and that was even worse. It was going to be a disaster and there was no way to evict that.

Scratch that, I’m a terrible person.

A couple of big hands landed on his shoulders from all sudden, making him jump in place and sending shivers down his spine. She got scared too at the sudden move, but she smiled right after, once she saw the face behind the small prank, and the one that gave Tom the scare of his life.

“Baby!” Tuwaine’s voice busted in his ears out of the blue, and almost knock him out of his seat.

“Shit!” He exclaimed, doing his best to not fall over “Fuck! Don’t do that, shitface”

As he turned, he appreciated the face of one of his best mates and his girlfriend right beside him, both of them looking just as euphoric as his own girlfriend, and acting concerned for his lack of excitement tonight, which was good for a season like this. No work, free time, a night to remember… it was weird for Tom to be so serious, it was only on him to make it look as natural as it could be.

“Why are you sitting down?” Tuwaine asked.

“That is exactly what I said” (Y/n) argued, as he watched the pair taking a seat right in front of them.

“I don’t feel like dancing tonight, I enjoy watching you trying to get some moves right” Tom excused, directing an awkward grin to his best friend.

“I do a good job, compared to you, you just do alright” Tuwained mocked.

Allison, his girlfriend, laughed “Good one” she giggled, pinching his cheek and grabbing the drink she has been sipping from for the last half an hour.

They’ve been at this bar for a while already, Tom has lost count of how long it has been since they arrived, but for all he knows, he has done through a couple of drinks already, and he would keep going, but he can’t. He needs a clear mind tonight and he couldn't mess that up.

“Another round, gentlemen? Tequila, (Y/n)?” Allison offered, raising a hand for the waiter to come.

“I wouldn’t mind that” (Y/n) shrugged, showing a smile.

“I’ll have one more too” Tuwaine agreed, nodding to his girl as he leaned on the table.

He had to admit he was taking this situation better than he expected. He held his girl’s hand, kissed her on the cheek, caught up on a previous conversation with his best friend, took the liberty to take another beer, and before he knew it, the situation was looking more normal in his eyes.

It was the first time in months he’s been in a bar in London, he has been out for work and all over the world for so long, having some time to stay home made him feel calmed and better. After staying at his apartment, reflecting on life and hardly going out for almost a full week, it was the first time in a very long time he had a night out with his close ones and he was grateful for it.

… but still he was extremely sorry for this night to be the night.

With his head off elsewhere, he kept his girl close as he nodded at the words of his best friend, sipped on his beer and heard (Y/n) ask questions to keep the conversation alive. He didn’t comment or participated, he just listened, he didn’t want to take part in the mix and say anything stupid, he just needed to be present and act natural.

It was difficult to remain fairly sober when he had to face something like this, it was his third drink already, and without intending it, he was going through it faster than usual, maybe it was because he was barely speaking, but as the conversation went on, the bottle became empty as time passed, and he didn’t like that. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to gain himself an assisted ride home and slide words of his mouth that weren’t intended, he needed to get ahold of himself, unless he wanted to start creating wrong opinions from his closest friends.

The light shifted in the room, the DJ became inspired, and in the blink of an eye everyone in the crowd started cheering with excitement. It wasn’t weird at all, he knew why, those were 90’s songs, everyone loves those. The night was starting to come alive with every second and he could see his friends vibing with it, he could see it in how their faces changed and the mood lit up even more. For a second he felt jealous, very jealous. They were having a genuinely good time, and here he was, making a mess of his own mind by worrying about something that has been hammering him for weeks.

He couldn’t wait to get it out of his head. He couldn’t wait to feel himself again.

“Oof I love that song, that’s it” Allison cheered, grabbing (Y/n)‘s sleeve and jumping with excitement. “Bye, boys”

As usual, she just laughed at her friend’s reaction and jumped off her seat at that weird queue, looked back at Tom suggestively and nodded towards the dance floor.

He shifted uncomfortably.

“Go dance, we’ll stay here” Tom assured both of the girls, silently telling Tuwaine to make him company.

Surprisingly none of them fought him, like he was expecting them to. Allison just grabbed (Y/n)’s hand and took off to the dance floor, because she was already too drunk and she couldn’t wait, her body was in need of a bit of dancing. (Y/n) looked back on his direction, giving him an apologetic smile that he waved off without even thinking about it, because there was nothing to apologize for, she was always apologizing for everything.

She deserved to have a bit of fun alone with her friend. He knew she stressed a lot and needed a break, it was a good idea to just let her be, sing and dance until she could forget about whatever she was stressing about this time.

She is a hard working girl, that is why he loves her so much.

“You’re a bit off mate” Tuwaine mumbled to him. Moving on his seat to be closer.

His eyebrows raised, he almost choked with his beer, but he groaned it off, he didn’t want to come off as nervous, although it looked like he was failing. What was happening to him tonight, he didn’t know, but whatever he knew about acting was wearing off, because he was failing at it, and now all he could do was face reality.

“Really?” He asked, trying to seem surprised, but not too much.

“Yeah” Tuwaine said, like it was obvious. “you alright?” He asked, genuinely concerned, slowly turning serious.

Tom hesitated for a second. He didn’t wish to engage anyone into anything, this was something he has been thinking about and it was more of a personal fight, he didn’t want other people to get involved. However, Tuwaine has been his right hand for such a long time, he understood why it worried him to see him like this, because if it was his case, he would feel like that too. He couldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt, that would be mean, he trusted him, so he guessed it would be better to tell someone than to do this and have no one know about this beforehand. It would be like walking on it alone… right?.

“Yeah! Always” he assured, nervously fidgeting with the bottle in his hands.

He thought about it for a second, doubted himself and then… he just gave up.

“Actually, I don’t know” he let out, looking directly at him. “Can I tell you secret?” he mumbled.

Tuwaine shot him a weird look, raised his eyebrows and asked “Right here?” as he looked around the room and moved closer to his friend so he could hear him right.

“Yes” Tom nodded “Just act natural, it doesn’t have to be a big deal” he warned, looking to his from and forcing a small grin in direction of the two girls dancing not too far from them, who would turn and look at them every once in a while. He didn’t want them to notice the tension that started to build up.

“Okay” Tuwaine agreed, looking up front and mumbling “Whats up?”

Once again, he felt weird, but he needed to be an adult and be able to say this as it was, not with bad intentions, but still being real about what his thoughts were. It was his friend after all, he trusted him, nothing bad could come out from this… yet.

“I’ve been thinking about... stuff, a lot, lots of things going around and after having some serious reflections about this, I think... I don’t know” he started, not really finding the right words to introduce the situation, because there were no right words to say this. It was just complicated. “I think (Y/n) and I...” he tried to explain, but he really couldn’t.

He motioned with his fingers what he tried to say, finding that an easier way to explain the situation than to describe it with words. With both of his index fingers he touched them together and then moved them apart, as simple as that, there was no more to communicate. Tuwaine seemed to piece everything together way too quickly, and Tom was nervous what his reaction could be.

“Really?” he whispered in a very surprised toned, clearly being stunned by that new.

Tom nodded shyly. “Yes” he mumbled back.

Tuwaine blinked, clearly being confused and surprised by all this, like Tom expected.

He was aware that dropping this bomb would be anything but easy, and that there would always be a reaction from any of the parts. First of all, because he has been with the same girl for already four years, they love each other, they live together… it was a hard decision, but the hardest thing of it all, was that this was something that would have consequences in more than one aspect and they all knew that very well, it would be a chaos, he was absolutely terrified of it.

“Wow” Tuwaine said, letting out a big sigh as he asked “Is everything alright with you two?”

Tom pressed his lips together, now really getting nervous “It’s fine, it’s okay, it’s just...” he tried to explain. “Listen I’m going to sound like a real asshole right now but it is really the whole truth” he warned, because now it really could get worse from here. “I think I want to be with other people” he said shyly, looking for approval in his friend’s eyes as he said his truth.

Tuwaine looked anything but happy at that response, he looked deep into Tom’s eyes, took a second and nodded his way, giving him the chance to explain himself once.

“Go on” he said harshly, he jaw showing some tension that made him even more uncomfortable.

Tom nodded back, and prepared himself to make this one short and sweet.

“See, I’m only 23 and she is just 21, we’ve been on this relationship for around four years and I have had a good time but I just thought about it and I am not ready for commitment, mate, I am young, I need to explore a bit more and see other girls other than her, live new experiences, you know what I’m saying?” He asked, turning to look at him. “I love her, I really do, but really... I think I’m ready to move on and explore” he shrugged “it really had nothing to do with her, I’m just thinking, hey, I’m still young enough to see a little more aside from the first girl I ever started a real thing with, it’s not like we’re married, maybe it’s time both of us meet new people” he explained, trying to make it sound somehow better, but it was just the whole truth.

Tuwaine looked unsure and certainly surprised by his friends speech. Tom understood that Tuwaine was probably not expecting something like this to come up on a night like this, but the truth is that there was never going to be a right moment, and by this time there was a certain urge for Tom to let it out. He has been rounding this thought for a while, it wasn’t just something that popped out in his mind. It might be surprising, but it wasn’t random.

“I don’t know, are you sure about this?” Tuwaine doubted “I mean, look at her” he said, turning to look back at the girls “She looks very happy now that you’re here, and I mean, she is pretty, smart, she loves having you around, she helps you a lot, are you sure you want this?” He asked Tom, doing his best to make him reconsider his decision.

With this, Tom knew his friend was not agreeing with his argument. But it was natural, he was her friend too, and they were good friends. None of them would want to see her sad, but this is how things rolled now. He took a decision and he would stand by it.

“Yeah, I mean...” he mumbled, looking at her for a second “I don’t want her to just vanish out of my life, I figured we could always be friends and whatnot” he sighed, shaking his head at the thought of her just… going away.

Tom turned his head towards his friend. He was never seen him with such marked frown but still calmed look on his face, clearly trying to remain normal. He wasn’t feeling comfortable and Tom was already getting nervous, this is exactly what he wanted to evict.

“Don’t look at me like that” Tom begged in a mumble “Tuwaine, don’t judge me, please”

“I don’t! I don’t judge you, I swear” Tuwaine said, snapping out of it and holding up both of his hands “Hey, Listen, I think you’re making a mistake, alright? but if you thought about it and you’re sure, then go for it” he shrugged, trying to show some respect to him “But be careful, okay? That’s all I can say, if that’s what will make you happy, I support you, you know that” he assured him, nodding his way and trying to crack a smile.

Tom knew that was not the most honest answer from his part, that hurt, but he bought it. There really was not a better outcome for this moment. He knew no one was going to tell him it was the right decision, but he knew what he was about to do, even when it didn’t seem like so, he has thought this through.

“Thanks mate” He thanked him, leaning in to pat on his shoulder.

As time passed he grew more nervous, now that he has revealed his big secret to someone, not only that, now that he has revealed it and also was alone with the only person who knew his secret, he was feeling even worse than before. Good thing of having someone know of his secret was that he was passing onto him very good advice. He would tell him what she should say and what not to say, what he would do, his perspective, some past experiences that might help him… if anything, he was starting to feel this moment was starting to become a bonding moment for him and Tuwaine, sure it was not the best situation, but sharing this kind of information with him somehow felt special.

Tuwaine would speak a lot, and so did he, trying to explain a little bit how he was come to this decision while he could, as well as giving Tuwaine the chance (and privilege) of commenting on his master plan, that might as well go wrong, but it could be less bad if he fixed some aspects of it with the help of his friend.

Their conversation seemed cut off when suddenly the girls disappeared in the crowd of people, and barely making themselves noticeable, appeared behind them trying to make it seem like a surprised, and once again completing the group that just a couple of minutes ago was incomplete.

(Y/n) slid her arms around Tom, let him hold her hands as they laid on his chest and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. Typical move of her, she loved to have him like this, and he was not mad at it, at all. He felt warm, safe, home…

Focus, Tom, God dammit.

“Are we ready to go?” He asked, as he turned his head and let her leave a small peck on his lips.

A small frown appeared in her forehead, as she walked around him to face him directly and hugged his waist to keep him close. He could see she was missing having the opportunity to have him this close, after months apart, she was missing him a lot and it was showing. On his behalf, It was wrecking him from the inside out, but he was an actor and right now he needed to mask this one.

“What? You want to go already?!” AIlison exclaimed, sounding completely outraged by his question.

He shrugged, hugged his girl close and left a small kiss on her forehead. He needed an excuse to get out of here, this was the best chance he could find.

“Are you tired, bubs?” (Y/n) asked softly, looking up at him.

“A little bit, I’m going to lie” he nervously laughed, shrugging a little “Jet lag is a real bitch” he said, but he didn’t mean that.

Jet lagged has already passed. He has recovered his usual schedule for a couple of days now, he was fine. It was just the perfect excuse to get him out, he knew no one would fight him while playing this card.

“That’s true” (Y/n) agreed, leaving a kiss on his cheek and grabbing her purse on the table.

He made sure to turn back at Tuwaine with a suggesting look, so he understood it was time and he needed him and his girlfriend to vanish elsewhere. Right now he just needed to be alone with his girl and make every possible thing in his hand to not fuck anything up.

“We can go then too, I’ll call an Uber” Tuwaine announced, finishing his drink in one sitting, and getting up from his seat. Queue for everyone to do the same.

“Already? c’mon” Allison whined, showing a pout as she followed her boyfriend’s moves.

“Don’t worry babe, I have an idea” Tuwaine mumbles to her, trying to make this situation look just a bit better.

Making their way out of the bar was difficult, it was crowded, however, it is even more difficult to make it out of there when there are people around that knew Tom’s face, called his name, touched his shoulders and even stepped in the way to just wave his wave. Sometimes it could become very overwhelming. One way or another, and one step at a time, they made their way out of the place and into the cold and shiny streets of London at night.

Tonight was not the most busy night for London’s bar, in fact, for them it was the perfect night to go out for a drink, but it was still crowded enough to build up a proper party. There were a lot of people around, however, there were not enough, so they could easily be able to step out in the street without getting mobbed with people recognizing him and only occasionally see a couple people around that would either call his name or wave at him, those were the best kind of nights, they were the best because he could chill and fool around with his friends without having too much eyes on him. Somehow it made him feel like he was just another guy going out in London.

They stepped into the streets of the city, looking for their usual spot to call a taxi. Him having (Y/n)’s hand in his and guiding her through the small crowd in front of the bar and making sure she was with him at all times. It has just rained, he knew that, it was noticeable on how blingy everything looked now and it didn’t before, also on how this new fresh air ran through the air, he was not expecting the weather to change like this so suddenly.

He looked back at his girlfriend, just to make sure she was not feeling the same as him or even worst, checking if she was cold so he could lend him his jacket if needed; she was definitely the kind of girl who got cold easily. Instead, the moment he turned around, he found her grabbing onto his arm just a little tighter and fighting her feet as she walked and stumbled onto her side in a dumb move when she tried to step in.

“Hey” Tom chuckled, grabbing her arms as a reflect “Was that you stumbling?” He asked, holding her still.

Her lips opened, then closed and cracked into a smile. “No” she answered, standing up straight.

He looked at her with a suspicious look that she detected in less than a millisecond. She laughed, and before he could even notice her arms were all over him, wrapping him into a hug and clinging into him. He laughed, leaned into her and kissed her lips softly, hold her close and really took in this moment. He loved it, he loved this, but he would miss it, having her here and now was something he had thought about pretty often while he was gone, and now that it was happening, it was a shame that he was going to ruin it soon.

“What if we get lost?” He whispered over her lips, kissing her cheek, and pulling her more into him.

She smiled and nodded, making him understand that they were already going home, it was obvious. He nodded back, making her know, he was actually meaning something else.

“What?” She asked, now clearly being confused.

“We” he signaled “are getting lost” he announced, already assuming there was no way she would say no to this.

Even when she doubted… he was right. She looked at him in doubt for a second and by the look on her face, it was clear that she would go with the flow of whatever he had in mind, it was just perfect.

“Okay” she mumbled, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it lightly.

Tom smiled widely, everything was going well, now he just needed to calm down, he could already feel his nerves spiking up on his spine, waiting for the worst part to happen and be over. He was turning more anxious by the second.

Thank god he’s been trained to mask this kind of shit, it was really growing on him and the last thing he needed was making a show in the middle of a public place because he was incapable of ‘playing it cool’ when he needed to.

“Guys, we’re going to take a walk home” he announced to the couple in front of them, as he grabbed his girls hand and guided her with him.

Allison immediately turned up to then and frowned. When things came out a little different, she usually made a lot of questions, but this time Tuwaine had this covered, when he immediately stepped in and wrapped his arm around Allison’s shoulders he was saving his ass from panicking, big time.

“Are you sure? The Uber is almost here” Tuwaine asked, showing him the lit up screen on his phone.

Tom smile and nodded in response.

“Yeah, we can take the long way” he shrugged, slowly walking back and taking (Y/n) with him.

“It is a very long way, are you sure you don’t want a ride?” Allison asked, genuinely sounding concerned.

“It’s shorter than you think!” Tom exclaimed, slowly turning around and making his way out.

He could sense Allison just about to fight him into coming with them into the uber, but the situation was quickly diffused by her boyfriend, who immediately sensed, it was probably better they made their way out by themselves and not step into uncomfortable situations before anything could happen.

“Leave them, I have somewhere we can go” He heard Tuwaine mumble to her quietly, thing that relaxed her and made any possible questions fade out. “See you Monday!” he created Tom as he walked away.

“See you, mate!” he waved back, saying goodbye and finally getting what he wanted.

It might raise some sort of suspicion, but this is exactly what he was asking for, a walk with (Y/n), that was it…

Now he just needed to get it together.

As they walked under the cold streets of London, Tom held her hand tightly and swung it back and forth slightly as they walked and he heard her speak, telling him stories and putting him up to date with everything. They made their way around effortlessly, already knowing where to go and how to get into quitter places where they could really be alone, they knew this place like the back of their hands, getting lost was easy, but really getting lost, for them was both easy and a pleasure. London is a beautiful city, but it is even more beautiful when you know those spots where no one else went, and that is exactly what they went for, a bit of privacy and somewhere where they could walk peacefully.

With just a bit of patience and taking the right ways, in no time they were entering themselves into the best shortcuts of the city. Suddenly, everything so much calm than before, no one else was there staring, or speaking, or calling his name, it was just them on the quietness of the streets, walking hand in hand like dumb teenagers in love. For them everything was always like if they were dumb teenagers.

He had to admit that for a second he really thought she would never buy that poor excuse he gave her to get them out of that place. In fact, he really thought she would be mad for him making them walk instead of taking a cab, however, it happened to be the complete opposite. She was looking way overly excited for having this kind of moment with him, she would walk around the middle of the street in a slightly faster pace than him, almost giving small jumps of excitements as they walked and going on into a story that clearly excited her. On the other side, he wouldn’t speak, he would just listen, made small comments and let her go on; seeing her being so excited was adorable, but he was already starting to feel terrible and it was showing. On his mind, he was trying to find the way to turn this around and make this be as mild as it could possibly be.

“You are quiet tonight” She mentioned from all sudden, stopping her story and looking back at him with a comforting smile. Obviously trying to calm him down without saying much, like she would usually do at times.

Right now he really wished that would work the same.

“No, I’m not” he excused himself, shrugging it off as he turned to look back at her.

She chuckled at his dumb answer. “Yep” she answered back, squeezing his hand as she mumbled. “Yes, you are”

Maybe it was time for him to set the mood and get serious, get into something more than just an exciting story and tone it down, that way he thought it might be easier to introduce such a thing later. The last thing he wanted was to burst her bubble from happy to concerned from all sudden, it would be so much worst.

“Sorry” he apologized, directing to her a bit of a shy smile “I'm just a little...”

“Stressed?” she guessed, cutting him off and taking him completely off guard.

Words were struggling to come out of his mouth, he wasn’t expecting her to see him stressed, even though he was, he thought he was playing it off well, looking normal and relaxed, like he usually was. Now he sees he was wrong.

“I get it, tour week it’s coming and you barely get a proper break, it kind of sucks” she mentioned, shrugging a little as she looked up front.

I’m a way she was right. He was grateful mind reading wasn’t a thing, but in certain way, she had nailed the fact that there was something in him bothering him from that aspect. He loved his job, but sometimes he couldn’t help to keep thinking about what was coming next, even when he was on vacation. This is one of those situations, however, this time there was a plus.

“Yeah, That” he chuckled nervously, as he looked down “Im having re-shoots after that” he also mentioned, keeping the conversation up.

Her eyebrows raised. “Where?” She asked.

“Atlanta”

It was surprising he did not mentioned this to her before, being such an important fact about him leaving for work, again. He usually kept this to himself, although he wouldn’t keep a secret about him leaving, he just didn’t feel like mentioning everything he had to do; he thought it made everything seem a little overwhelming, taking things slow was a better option.

“Wow” she sighed. “you don’t ever get a break, do you?”

He chuckled slightly. “No” he said “I need to learn my lines” he also mentioned, almost as a reminder to himself.

Another responsibility he needed to get his hands on before things piled up.

“Can I take a look at them?” she asked in a happy tone, already looking excited about something like this.

He smiled shyly, acting as if he would think about it, but once he turned to see her, she already knew what he was going to say. “Sure” he let out, squeezing her hand a little bit as she jumped in excitement.

He couldn’t say he was surprised about this, she was always trying to check things out when it came to his scripts. Prompts of having her, she really enjoyed all of the world of screenwriting, she always looking for so much information that it came in handy when she had comments over scripts he had to do. It helped him a lot and at the same time he hoped it helped her as well, after all, this was something she enjoyed with her whole heart.

“I have exams in two weeks, you came right in time” she mentioned, changing the topic as she let go of his hand and went in to walk over the yellow line of the sidewalk. “Right before you leave, I’ll be starting my vacation, I might even grow a pair to see you in action, mister” she mentioned, making a funny face at him and winking his way.

He laughed at her silly moves. She was the kind of person that every time she had some sort of boost of energy, it would show, this was one of the situations. She would walk over that yellow line trying to maintain balance and (for sure) acting like a little girl, she was looking for something to do as they made their way home and that would keep her active. It was certainly adorable. It was hard for him to keep track of the conversation as he watched her, it was somehow entertaining how she moved so gracefully and at the same time rambled like crazy as she spoke.

“What do you mean ‘see me in action’, lady?” he answered, imitating her teasing tone “You’ll make it to the premier?” he asked, letting his eyebrow raise unconsciously.

“Yes, to the premier!” she exclaimed, jumping in place. “I already have it thought out and everything, it will be really fun” she mentioned, giving a small twirl on her feet as she walked, keeping her little game over that line, never for a second letting herself fall.

He shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling the tension over power his body. She had so much in mind, he did too. It was going to be an impossible task to burst her bubble in a gentle way because she already had high hopes over the future. He was about to ruin everything.

He is a bad person.

“I’m sure it will” he mumbled, not being aware of how it came out but suddenly realizing, his nervousness was really starting to show up.

She turned to look at him, obviously noticing the sudden change in his mood. Her face showing a slight and concerned frown on her face. He tried to mask it with a neutral look, but it really was not working now. He just stepped into a weird zone and he didn’t know how to get out, there was not going back now.

“What?” she chuckled awkwardly, trying to read his look.

His eyebrows raised. “What? What?” he answered back.

They looked at each other intensely for a good couple of seconds. Her trying to read him and him trying to act like nothing was going on. He was failing, of course, because once she took her eyes out of him, it was clear that she sensed something was off, and once again, she’d be right.

“You’re acting weird” she mentioned, stepping out of the sidewalk and towards him. “are you nervous about it?” she asked.

For a second, he completely panicked. What did she mean by ‘it’? Did she already knew what he was about to do?.

It only took him a couple seconds to realize she was actually talking about the one movie he has been working on for the past years and that hasn’t come out yet, but it will and yes, he was nervous about that too. He was rarely nervous, but this was something that also had him at the edge of his seat. He was glad she could read into that too, because at the moment it was a good mask for his weird behaviour.

“It’s my first movie for a overly famous company, I’m shitting myself” he nervously chuckled as the words left his mouth “Marvel is one thing, but this... Oof” he sighed, not being able to explain it well.

The smile on her face was very comforting. “It’ll be great” she assured him, taking his hand in hers “we all love Pixar and you are great in voice acting”

He shrugged “I don’t know” he mumbled “I was really nervous in the shooting sessions, I don’t think it’s my best” he admitted sincerely.

A shy silence fell between them. He guessed that she didn’t have much to say, he didn’t know what to say either. The truth was there were a lot of things going on in his life that made him this nervous, those were things he still had a hard a hard time controlling and he knew that even when it killed her to see him like this, she didn’t know how to handle this either. Having him like this was fairly odd.

“Is that what got you like this?” She asked shyly. He didn’t answered, he thought it was better to not say anything. She took that in as an answer and smiled. “You know my cousin always says something really wise that I don’t know if you’ve heard before but it says something like: tu n'as pas besoin d’impressionner tout le monde, fais des choses avec amour et les personnes intéressées se manifesteront” she recited, as expected, he didn’t get it, he had no clue of French. “which essentially means... if you liked what you did and you worked for it, then people will love it, and if they don’t...” she shrugged “they don’t know what they’re talking about”

He smiled.

It was nice how no matter what the conflict was in his head that bothered him in the most minimal way, she always knew what to say and I’m one way or another, it made him feel a lot better. This it was not exactly what he was looking for, but he gave her that. Watching her use her wisdom on him was a gift, he enjoyed it, even when it was not the situation, he wanted to hear one of those thoughts one last time.

If it was the last time he would get to hear them…

“Merci” he thanked her, smiling at her shyly.

She smiled back, there was something her that told her that even when he didn’t say much, he would really think about what she just told him and just… relax. That was okay, that was all she wanted and needed.

As they kept walking through those lonely and quiet streets, it was easy for Tom to find a way to change routes without her asking questions. Good thing about knowing this place so well, no matter where they went, everything could be a shortcut one way or another; before they even noticed his plan was going to perfection, just like he had planned, they were entering that isolated park where sometimes they would hangout, walk the dog, have a drink… lots of things. It was a not a strange place for them and it was the the ideal place to just sit and have a serious talk. It was just the place where they needed to be.

As they passed in front of the place, he took the chance to step into the grass surface of the park and entering it without asking if she wanted to go there first, he just did, and almost automatically, he thought it would be a good idea to make his way to the swings. Pretty much the only sitting surface they had in the whole park.

She walked beside him quietly, watching him as he sat down in one of the swings and looked up at her, waiting for her to do that same. The face she made to him was quiet funny, he was being somehow unpredictable and that was really taking her by surprise. At first she showed to be unsure, but after seeing that he was not going to move from that place in a little while, she gave up and just sat down on the swing beside him.

The atmosphere had become quiet weird and now she was the one becoming nervous, mostly because how intrigued she was, but she didn’t let that show on her, she just went with the flow, she wouldn’t let a bad feeling let her make a fool of herself.

“Why are we here?” She asked, swinging herself back and forth softly as she looked his way.

“I just thought we could sit down for a while” he mentioned quietly “have a talk” he shrugged.

It was weird, she thought, but she let it pass.

“Okay” she mumbled, nodding a little bit and not asking anymore questions.

She looked around the place, admiring the quietness that surrounded them and the sounds of nature that made themselves noticeable at this time. This place was surrounded by a neighborhood, a very nice one, that happened to have very nice houses with very nice gardens that most of the times served as houses for little insects and frogs that helped create such a nice environment. One of those houses actually happened to be her aunt’s house, pretty much the only piece of close family she had in the entire city to count on while her family was at the other side of the world, so you could say this place was no strange to her, it was a familiar environment, it almost felt like home.

“Oh, would you look at that” she laughed, taking a look at the big white house on their front “Look who’s awake” she said, pointing out to the only window of the house that showed a turned on light.

He hummed and looked that way.

“Little Franky is messing around at three in the morning, busted” she chuckled to herself “I bet he’s - like - watching porn or working or reading, but he should be sleeping, that’s a fact, he has school or whatever” she mentioned.

If there was someone she loved in this world with her entire heart was her cousin, Frank. Some may say they are siblings from another mother and the same family, but for her, that guy is her freaking soulmate. There was no one in this world that understood her better than him, and the fact that he was also in London, at the same time at her, that was priceless. They were used to being apart all of the time, having him close was just like a blessing.

“Isn’t he driving you tomorrow?” he asked, in a poor attempt of being chatty.

She smiled. “Sure, but only in the afternoon, I’m not the one who has to wake up super early” she shrugged, thinking about it for a second, seeing how her cousin’s head peeked from the window and disappeared in matter of a second. “Oh, I know what it is! I think he has some new friends in Paris, I heard, he’s probably playing video games, lame” she mocked, rolling her eyes.

He laughed at her reaction, he sensed how much she would like to be there to tease him, but it was not the time. It was adorable anyway, their relationship was adorable.

“You’re a bully, have you heard?” he teased, bumping his knee to hers.

“Stop” she fake whined, now rolling her eyes at him and looking his direction. “I have to admit, I thought we would be going home right away, have some time alone for once” she shrugged, now being more serious. “Huh? you have been home for weeks and we’ve hardly had… you know, a night for us”

The chuckle that came out of his lips was the most awkward move that he has made in his entire life, and he has done plenty of stupid shit. At this point, it was impossible for him to mask anything, it was almost like his abilities to play it cool have worn out entirely. He needed to get serious and think this through.

He didn’t want to do this and mark a wrong impression, he wanted to make things right, but with his nerves playing him like this, he was afraid he would fuck things up in a heartbeat.

“Yeah, about that” he said softly “I kind of wanted to talk to you about something”

She was too smart. The second he said that in that tone was the second her face changed completely, she knew something wasn’t right and it was starting to concern her. He felt terrible for that, he didn’t like when she worried like this.

“Are you okay?” she asked in a serious tone “Seriously, Tom, I don’t understand what is happening, you’re acting really weird” she said, a nervous chuckle coming out of her lips, as she looked at him directly and gave him all her attention.

“I am fine, I really am” he said, immediately “and let me just say, you are too, there is nothing wrong with you, you are one of the nicest beings ever, beautiful, smart and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, nothing”

He felt like he needed to point that out, he wanted her to know it was all him, not her, make it clear before she started to have second thoughts. Although it did sound like every breakup excuse, it was the truth, he needed to lay that out.

“Okay” she said awkwardly “Thanks...”

“I really mean it” he said quickly “there is absolutely nothing wrong with you”

“What?” she sighed, already growing even more nervous. “Listen, you are really creeping me out”

He nodded, he was already starting this with the wrong foot, he needed to fix this up before his nerves betrayed him entirely.

“Sorry” he apologized “I just thought it would be easier if we came here, somehow this place calms me down” he admitted, looking around and taking a short second to breath. The tension was building up quicker than he anticipated

“Because is the only place no one is eavesdropping?” she asked, her eyebrow raising in question.

“And because I know that every time I am here, you are always with me, no matter if you are actually here or in my mind, you just… make me company” he mumbled.

Somehow his hand managed to find hers, and he held her tight for a good second. Already refusing to let go, at least for now. He just needed to hold her one more time, even if it was the last time he would have the chance…

“Something is bothering you, something other than your job” she said, stating the situation without asking what was happening, again.

He nodded, her statements were right, just now in the way she thought.

“Take a break, let’s go home” she insisted, squeezing his hand and encouraging him to get up and go home.

Without her noticing, she was silently encouraging exactly what he has been struggling to say in weeks, and she had no idea. He has been rounding this for a long time, it was finally time to say it out loud and see what happened. Now is the time, it’s something he needed to do and now that they were at this point of the night and right where he planned to be, it was time.

He looked at her straight in the eyes, took a deep breathe and just said it. It was just as easy as that.

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot, I think it might be good for us if we took a break” he finally said to her, being careful with his words and keeping it simple.

It was not easy to let this out, but once he did, it felt like taking a weight off his shoulders. If it should feel like that or not… for him it felt great.

After he said that, she paused for a second. It was clear that she didn’t know what to say or how to react, it was too sudden and she wasn’t ready for something like this. Whatever she could do or say now, he didn’t know.

“A what?” she asked in confusion “When I- I didn’t mean you took a break like this, silly, I meant a break from work, what do you mean a break?” She mentioned nervously, struggling to really understand what was happening “Tom, what do you mean?” She asked again.

He noticed it was being difficult for her to process the bomb that he just dropped to her. She understood perfectly, but she could only hope that she misunderstood the situation and it was only a joke he was trying to play. It was not.

“I mean, maybe we should take some time to see other people, take a break from each other and maybe if we don’t feel comfortable and we’re both up to it...”

…go back, he implied, hoping he had made himself clear on what he tried to say.

I’m situations like this, it was very difficult to not look like the bad guy, but at the same time, it was even more difficult to handle the whole conversation without saying the wrong thing and make it as easy as he could. He didn’t want her to feel bad or cry, but that was impossible because it was already happening, the fact it was getting out of hand without him intending it was frustrating.

He wanted to take a hold of it. He didn’t want this to end up like in a wrong way, but it was failing quicker than he thought and it scared him.

“Did I do something?” She asked, her voice broken and eyes shining.

The atmosphere was slowly changing around her. Her breathing was heavier, she was quiet, her hands tried to stay still and the flow panic that flew out of her head without her noticing was impressing. He felt terrible. He was the one responsible for breaking her bubble, she was happy, and now she was not, she was crying. It was all on him.

“You didn’t do anything” he made clear once again. “I just think we should take some time for each other, we see each other all of the time when I’m out of work, we have lived together for two years, there is not a time ever were we aren’t alone, do you know what I mean?” he tried to explain, as best as he could “Baby, I love you more than you could ever imagine, but we are young and I need space… we need space”

At the mention of space, she sobbed. If there was something she was terrified of, was space. She never had a problem with leaving him be and let him do whatever he wanted, that applied to her as well, she liked to have liberty herself, but there was something inside of her, a big irrational fear of being alone without the ones she loved around her.

He knew very well how anxious this made her and how sensitive this topic was, he has heard stories and he knows she was completely terrified of people leaving her. This was not the case, he would never let this be the case, he would never leave her life just like so.

“Couples that take breaks never get back together” she mumbled.

“We could be the exception” he argued.

“How?!” she snapped, breaking the peace of the silence of the night and for once, showing this small contained anger she had inside.

More than anger, what she had was a lot of questions. It didn’t made sense in her head how he has decided to bring this up now and the fact that it was so sudden made her struggle. She was scared of what could possible happen next, she was too used to this… what is going to happen now?.

“You’re not making this any easier” he mumbled, getting even more nervous himself, now that she was having this reaction.

“So was this…?” she tried saying, but her breathing was too heavy, she could hardly speak. “Why? Why are you doing this? Where is this coming from?” she rambled, not containing herself at all.

“Darling” he mumbled “Calm down first, lets just talk, the least thing I want to do is hurt you” he said softly.

“You’re hurting me now” she whispered back, breaking his heart slowly.

He made sure to hold her hand tight and run his finger on the back of it. He was hoping it would help calm down, it would usually work, but he guessed it wouldn’t be that easy this time.

This was really fucked up.

She was crying and he didn’t know what to do or say. Before he could even notice, he was actually on his knees in front of her, watching from another angle how she cried and poured her heart out. He held her hands tight and tried to keep it together.

He hated this so much, but it necessary, this was something they needed for the sake of both of their relationship. He didn’t pretend to be selfish, he just needed to state that it might be the time for them to separate for a little while, even if it hurt, it was time, sooner or later, this had to happen.

“We’ve been together for four years” he explained softly “I love you, you know that, but... don’t you ever wonder how it would be to be with someone else? have a moment for you? live with no attachments, at all?” he asked, trying to state his point.

“No” she said in a outraged tone.

He was not surprised, she was a very introverted person; once she got comfortable around something, she could spend her whole life around it and not be bothered at all, she liked routine and stability, it was just how she was. For him it was the complete opposite, he liked to shake things up every once in a while, so much of the same drove him crazy and sometimes he just needed to see different things. It wasn’t his fault, he was just like that.

“Well I do” he said, still in a calmed tone.“Call me insane, but I’m curious; and even when I wished I didn’t have to leave you, or something else, I figured, I want to be honest with you no matter what” he admitted, holding her hands close to him he whispered a soft “I love you” and kissed the back of them softly. “I just ask you for a couple of weeks, a month maybe, not even” he almost begged, still being very consistent with his proposal.

Her silence remained intact for a while, she seemed unable to speak or elaborate something appropriate for this moment, she just stared at him, on his knees in front of her and begging for her to understand what went to his mind. She wanted to, she really did, but there was something else inside of her that told her this was very wrong and it was not fair this was even happening.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but” she started saying, in an attempt to speak normally “Are you breaking up with me because you want to be with someone else? Are you bored of me?”

He didn’t know how to answer to that, it was difficult to answer that without sounding like an asshole and she was asking difficult questions.

“It’s not like that” he mumbled.

“Then, correct yourself, because it sounds like that” she argued, sniffing as tears left her eyes, demanding for a proper answer.

At this moment he decided, this was going to be a difficult conversation to get around, so if he wanted to make this clearer he needed to be transparent with her. Trying to make this friendlier to not hurt her was going to fail anyway, he needed to get this out of the way and be honest. He was already stepping on this, the only thing he had left was finishing it.

They could be here all night, but if he didn’t tell her the truth, they would never get to a solid point.

“I just want to have a moment for myself” he snapped, finally confessing what was in his mind “Not like a man who has a distance relationship, because god knows how many times we’ve been over that, I want to feel how it is to be single” he said “I know this terrible and you will probably hate me after this but the only thing I want is… be”

“And then what? Take me back? I’m not a toy, Holland, you can’t just leave me aside and then take me back whenever you feel like it” she argued, a big frown growing on her forehead as she spoke.

Her hands left his in an abrupt move, he could almost feel how she was drifting away from him slowly. He wanted to stop that, get her back. Things were getting out of hand too quickly and he was terrified.

“You’re not understanding my point” he said in a very serious tone. “I’m not doing this just for myself, I think this will be healthy for both of us” he whispered. “We’re young adults; with my job and the amount of compromise I have with so many people, I don’t feel like I’m on the right mindset for anything” he explained, still trying to make things clear. “I love being with you, don’t ever believe that I don’t, but I just want to feel what it is to be single and just...” he motioned “free of everything”

The feeling of the air feeling his lungs was too potent, this much explaining was too much for him, especially at this time of the night, when he was half drunk and tired to keep up with this.

“Is that supposed to mean that I am a responsibility for you?” she mumbled, her voice getting darker as she spoke.

“Babe, of course” he said, her mouth widened in surprise instantly; he said the wrong thing and he knew it well. “not in a bad way, obviously, you’re my girl, I don’t want to lose you, not now or ever, but maybe taking this break will help us... revive the flame”

As soon as he saw the chance, he grabbed both of her hands in his again and kissed the back of them softly. She didn’t resist it, but there was something in the air that told him she wasn’t comfortable.

He was a bad person.

Looking away from his face and into the dark sky of the night, she took a good breath and cried. She cried because it was the only thing she could do to drain her feelings without making this situation worst, even when he started it.

“I-I-I…” she stuttered, trying to say something “Since when have you wanted to…?” she asked, not being able to finish the phrase.

She didn’t need to, he knew perfectly what she meant. It was fair that she asked that, she had the right to know and he had the right to explain it all.

“Since the last time I left” he confessed, opening up to her “I know, I know what you’re thinking and I know it took me the longest time to tell you about this, but I just… I wanted to tell you in person” he said softly “I feel like we have been on a cycle since we started dating, understand me, I just need a breather, I feel like a need a change in my life to get back on track later” he shrugged “This has nothing to do with you, it’s all me, I promise; it hurts for both of us, I am just begging you, let’s give us some time, live our lives, take a break and see how we feel, for once” he begged her, hoping she would understand and know what was happening through his brain.

“But I don’t want to lose you” she mumbled.

“I don’t want to lose you either, and you won’t” he assured her, kissing the back of her hands “I just want to clear my mind, I want you to have you space, relax, let both of us have time for ourselves… not spend all of the time together” he explained one more time “honestly, I’m annoying, don’t you get sick of me?”

He wished this make her feel a lot better. A small smile came out of her lips but there was still sadness in her eyes. She didn’t want to let go and it was too difficult to process everything that was just happening, she was never ready for this, she didn’t even know if the right thing was to let it happen or to fight it. It was a situation she was completely unfamiliarized with.

Although there were a million thoughts running through her mind by the second. When he got back on his feet and leaded her to do the same, she was already thinking about his proposal and it seemed like she had no other option than to take it, because if he already had this decision made, it was impossible he would change his mind, things were already said, there was no going back. Whether she liked it or not, it is what it is and there was nothing she could do about it.

“We can still be friends, right?” she asked.

Tom tensed for a good second. “I think it would be better if we just kept distance”

One of the hardest part of taking this decision was accepting the right thing to do was to not only be apart from each other, but to really keep a distance so things could work the proper way. One of the two of them would break down if they kept contact, so it was better to keep it that way, just until the time was right, he thought, for the time being they just needed a good established break.

“Seriously?” she asked, almost whining at his answer.

He nodded “Just until we’re ready” he mumbled “It’ll just be a while, love, I promise”

He knew this was coming, it’s been happening for a while. When a cry came out of her lips he was the first to pull her into his arms and let her cry the pain away. His heart shrunk at the sight of her pain, but it was his fault and he needed to be empathetic and show support, even when he was hurt as well. He was responsible, but it would be good for them.

“I don’t want to be without you” she cried, holding onto him tightly.

She held him tight and cried on his chest. If it was for her, she would never let go, she didn’t want to let go.

“It’ll be good for us, I promise you, just a couple of weeks” he mumbled, his fingers running through her hair.

“And if you don’t come back? If you feel better without me?” she asked.

Until this moment, he never thought about that part.

What if it felt better to be alone?

“...then maybe, it’s a sign” he said, almost whispering “Of course that won’t happen; we’re a team, we should take this as a time for meditate and reflect on ourselves” he said, looking down at her and mumbling “It’ll be okay”

Part of her wanted to not believe that, there was always something in her that told her this was wrong and he was lying, but something in her heart felt that… deep down, really deep down, he had a reason for all this, and he was right. This had to be mutual, she had no other option than to agree, even when she didn’t want to let him go so easily, the decision was already taken.

She looked up at him, really wanting to look into his eyes, looking for answers. Something in his face showed empathy for her, but there was also something in him that looked serene and peaceful, he looked sure of what he was doing, and unlike her, completely calmed with this whole situation. She envied his capacity to remain so calm. On his lips he showed her a small smile, telling her it would all be okay and there was nothing to worry about, that they would get through this and it would be worth every second, a smile that told her he was more than sure of it.

She didn’t know if it was worth believing that. He didn’t know what would happen, neither did her. Him being so sure about all this made her nervous.

Suddenly the biggest fact of them all hit her.

“Distance…” she mumbled, once it all fell into place. “Where am I supposed to go then?”

Of course this was something she should have worried about sooner, he has and she did not notice about that in any second, her thoughts were too consumed on the fact her four-year boyfriend was leaving her.

He shyly smiled, telling her, he already had it thought out.

It was never a coincidence he decided to take this way home and come to this park in particular. It was never a coincidence they were sitting in front of her aunt’s house, because once they had this conversation, this would be her stop and he would go home, all alone. He already had it thought out and she never guessed what he planned, not even in the slightest bit.

The shock of the moment kept her quiet, she was physically unavailable to speak for a solid couple minutes. Given the time, he decided it was time for her to go where she needed to, so he walked her to the door, it was the least he could do. The fact she would probably get in trouble for knocking at his aunt’s door and ask to stay at this time, that was the least of their problems, he had it already talked out, so the hardest part of the night would be definitely saying goodbye. He wanted to make it as smooth as possible, but letting her go just like this was never going to be easy.

“You can send whoever you want to pick up your clothes and everything you need, even yourself if you want” he let her know as they stepped into the front door. “Just for a couple of weeks, or however you think it is necessary, my door is always open if you need anything” he let her know.

She nodded. “This the last time I will see you, then” she said, he nodded back.

“Just until the time is right” he let her know.

And if it wasn’t right… it would be the last time.

“Will you… call me or anything?” she asked innocently, fearing this would truly be the last time they would ever see each other.

Fearing this would only be the start of her worst nightmare.

“Like I said, I think it would be better if we kept distance” he said, a sad smile showing on his face “but please call me if something happens, anything, for you I will pick up in a second” he said, being sure of every single one of his words.

It was needless to say that he only meant this for necessary things. She knew she wouldn’t be able to make contact with him like before, what he meant right now was only referred to strictly necessary problems, not just any conversation. He would be there for her, but if it was just a casual thing, he wouldn’t be picking up the phone, she would have to look for someone else to talk to.

She never thought this would be happening to them.

“So this is a goodbye” she mumbled “I love you” she said, meaning every single one of her words “and I’m sorry”

His heart broke at the sound of her words. It was not fair that she said that, but he took it, she felt guilty even when she didn’t need to, he couldn’t blame her. This was too sudden, she couldn’t think straight.

“I love you so much” he said in clear words, walking up to her. “you don’t have to apologize for anything”

She smiled, already stating an answer, she knew that.

It was a bad habit, apologizing, it seemed to be something she just did as an instinct and he was always reminding her of that. The fact that he was even reminding her of this in such a moment was ironic.

Taking a step forward, Tom walked up to her and kissed her lips for one last time, not like it was a goodbye, rather than that, he wanted this to be a ‘see you soon’. He placed his lips over hers softly, and making them touch for only a couple seconds, to then slowly step back once it started to feel hard to get away, and before he could get attached, he kept his distance and decided to walk away, go home. Short and sweet, that was the plan.

He kept walking, trying his best to not look back as he left her behind and made his way out. He wanted this, he reminded himself, it was hard but it was something he had to do.

Of course, he wouldn’t just leave without making sure she would get inside, safe and sound; that’s why once he was out of sight, he stopped his pace and just waited, waited to hear that door open and her getting in that house, or at least something that told him there was no way something bad could happen to her while he was not looking. If any of that happen he would never forgive himself.

Part of him expected to hear her cry at the sight of him leaving, but instead, he was surprised when he heard her ring the doorbell straight up. She would get in trouble for that, for sure, but as long as she got in safely, it didn’t matter.

“Yes?” He heard a quiet masculine voice mutter through the intercom.

Frank, of course. The only person who could be up at that time and the only one she probably wanted to speak to at the moment.

“C’est moi (It’s me)” she mumbled through the intercom, speaking in French, only to assure him that it was her indeed.

Frank was no stranger to the language, he was born in France after all, he grew up with it and he was the one teaching her, after all. It was like their way of communicating, their special connection.

“It’s so late, are you drunk or something?” He said in a sort of annoyed tone, sounding tired and done with everything.

“Please Frankie, open up” she whined, holding the tears and barely able to speak.

“One sec”

The tension was building up quick, he felt so guilty. He guessed this is what it took to take such hard decisions.

He felt the impulse of leaving at that moment, once he knew she was finally getting in the house. However, he decided it was better to stay until it was just him in that street; something inside of him didn’t let him take another step while she was still there, he wanted to hear whatever was said, but specially, hear her voice one last time.

Only god knew how much he was going to miss her from now on.

The front door opened, she was finally with someone other than him. Someone familiar.

“Oh Chérie, what happened?” Frank said with worry, once he saw her “Est-ce que ça va? (Are you okay?)” He asked.

“No” she cried, breaking down in a million pieces “He broke up with me” she mumbled to him, with a broken voice “He left me”

Hearing her say that stroke him like he never thought it would. He never thought he wold hear those words coming out of her mouth. He left her, he really did and she really believed that. He left her, after all those years together, and he was very sorry.

The damage was done. He has done what he planned and there was no going back, as difficult as it was, he did what he needed to.

He got what he wanted.

Tom Holland was now a free man.

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slasherkisss · 3 years

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CABIN FEVER - JASON VOORHEES X READER [CHAPTER 8]

Summary In an effort to remove yourself from your previous life in the big city, you move to Crystal Lake. The cabin you had inherited from your father makes the perfect place for a fresh start, however, there is a secret in these woods (and within yourself) that you must come to accept…and to love.

A/N I finally managed to get some muse for this again! I have an idea of where I’m going to go with it and I can’t wait to actually finish this project, I’m gonna do it if it kills me. Here’s the next chapter at least...a year later lol

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Months passed between the day of slaughter, and something inside of you felt heavy even after the deed had been said and done.

True to his word, Jason had taken care of everything. You had woken up the day after the Incident to clean sheets and the disappearance of both blood and body in your mind. It was as though the back of your head was trying desperately to push the thoughts of slaughter from you. To lock it away inside of your subconscious in a way that you would never be able to reach it again. It was something you didn’t need to remember, your brain insisted with desperation lacing the tone it usually took when it spoke to you, and you should simply accept that it would never be like that again.

The nightmares did not let you forget, though.

Each night seemed plagued with them, some more grueling than the other. More desperate in its plaintiveness each time you thought through the story that played within it. Your body in each dream pushed itself through dark, craggy forests and against the bare ground of soil. Roots curled with hunger at your legs as you chased your victim, breath heaving and weapon tight in your fist as you caught up to the terrified little thing. Your weapon always seemed to change in the time of your rest. Sometimes it was the trowel, pointed at its tip and built only for tilling the earth, and other times it was a machete with a glimmering blade and reflective steel like teeth bared for murder.

Sometimes, you were the one running from yourself. Your own form silhouetted in the darkness as you chased down who you knew you had to kill. Sometimes you tripped on the edges of roots so thick they might as well have been hands, and looked up into your own wild gaze. Your own form as you shakily held up the trowel against your fingertips. Sometimes it was you who screamed into the darkness as the weapon fell down into your skull and - oh - you could feel the pain in your body as the pressure drowned you in rivulets of dark red against soil.

You woke up more often than not during the night now, the nightmares ripping through your body in the form of a loud, shaky scream that would fill the forest late into the evening. You found yourself more than once awoken by Jason. His hands would cling to your sides and be pressing you firmly into the bed, keeping your arms away from yourself as what cuts you had given your skin due to your ragged nails blossomed over you. It was as though you were trying to write a message into your own body. If you squinted close enough, the lines you had scribbled with your keratin on the soft flesh or your inner arm were almost readable in their entirety.

Your fault. You did this. She’s dead. It was you! Always you.

As you pondered the threats of the voice inside of your head, staring idly at the slowly healing scars that littered your body now, you were pulled away by a knock at the door. It was a pounding and forceful thing that sent your already sensitive head reeling into a momentary headache. You could feel the pain behind your teeth and you could already tell it would slowly become a migraine after a few more hours of leaving it be. You were sure you had some pain killers somewhere left in your bathroom’s medicine cabinet. If not, you mused, you had willow bark and some rosemary out in your steadily growing garden. You could always whip up a remedy for it using those.

The second solid knock on the door made you more weary as you approached it, however. It was not how Jason knocked. He did so gently, afraid of breaking your doorframe if he slammed on it too hard. He never wanted to startle you with his force and, besides, as of late you’ve been allowing him to simply walk into your home without knocking. It was his home now as much as yours and the thought permeated your weariness to offer a fleeting touch of euphoria.

The third knock was accompanied by a voice.

“Hello? Is anyone home?”

You tensed, palms suddenly sweaty as you stared at the doorknob. You felt your stomach lurch in terror as you chewed on the inside of your cheek, biting down hard enough to feel the skin give into a bruising press of your molars. Jason was not due back from his daily patrol of the lake for an hour still. Likewise, he did not speak. He did not have a voice like that. Rough. Open. Unknown.

With a deep, long inhale you gripped the doorknob and slowly opened it up, the old wood creaking with every turn. You made a mental note to oil its hinges when you could.

The man standing in front of you was middle aged, the graying of the hairs littered in his beard giving it away that he was pushing closer to his 50s at the earliest. The thin lines of his wispy hair were hidden behind a dark brown Stetson rimmed with a small tassel of gold and a badge that indicated his status as a police officer from the local town station. Your mind could not read the words decorated on his tanned uniform. They floated against his skin like ancient hieroglyphs as you gripped the doorknob of your home tighter. Your knuckles turned white behind the frame.

You felt a cold rush of air hit your body and you stiffened, brows furrowing as you tried to act surprised and not as terrified as you felt beneath your skin.

“Afternoon, Ma’am,” The officer tilted his hat respectfully at you, “Sorry to bother you in… Your home. I just had a couple of questions for you regarding a few missing folks if that’s alright.”

You did not miss the pause in his tone as he looked around the forest, clearly uncomfortable in the vast outdoor space. You almost wanted to snort. Wasn’t it his job to patrol the woods? To keep hooligans and stupid hunters out of here in the first place? No, he wasn’t even doing that. Instead it was Jason who protected this forest. Who kept everything within it safe, far better than this fool who stood before you could ever do. You shifted on your feet, ignoring the damp spot of sweat growing on the back of your neck.

“Y-Yes that’s quite alright,” You managed out in a surprisingly even tone, your stutter passing as surprise for seeing an officer so suddenly, “It’s horrible to hear some people are missing, especially this time of year.”

“I know,” He sounded almost genuine in his remorse, “That’s why we’re asking around in case anyone’s seen them. Last I heard from another source, they were up camping out in the forest area around here. I figured since you lived up here, you’d be able to tell me if you’ve seen anything of ‘em around or close to your property? Have you ever walked around the forest and caught sight of some folks? Or seen any campsites set up close by, maybe?”

Your mind flashed to the images of the bodies dead on the forest floor, their red blood soaking into the mossy ground. Dead eyes stared forward at you in your mind, glossy with haze and their faces contorted into fear as their brains decorated the edges of tree trunks around you. You remembered the woman, your spade lowered into her skull and her blood warm on your hands as you watched her still pulsating organs devour themselves in an ouroboros of sin.

“Ma’am?”

You looked up with surprise, snapping yourself out of your momentary disassociation. You swallowed and sighed.

“Sorry, I was thinking if I’d seen anyone,” You were surprised how easily the lie left your lips as you shook your head, “Unfortunately, I haven’t seen anything but the deer lately. As far as I know, no one’s been around here.”

There was a momentary pause in the conversation. A quiet lapse as the officer gazed forward at you, a furrow to his brow marking his concern. Your heart pounded hard in your chest, moving its way up to your throat. He knew, you thought with terror rising in your veins, he knew that you were lying. That you had done it. He saw through your lies and into your soul. Into your sins and-

“Alright,” He nodded, “Thanks for your input. Now you don’t hesitate to call the station if you see any suspicious activity in this place, alright? It’s dangerous living alone in this forest, but rest assured we’ll keep it under control.”

“It’s been pleasant so far,” You find yourself speaking out softly, almost with a smile, “But I… appreciate the security, Officer…”

“Hughes. Darcy Hughes,” He introduced himself, his smile lines emphasizing his age as he gave you a brisk nod, “Take care of yourself and don’t get into any trouble, then.”

“I’ll certainly do my best.”

With another tilt of his hat and a hum to his lips, he turned away from you to file back into his police car that he had brought out, the top of it already slightly covered by fallen pine needles and leaves. He brushed them off gently before getting back in, offering one last wave to you through his windshield. You waved back, a smile plastered on your face as you watched him start up his vehicle, back out of the dirt driveway, and turn down the barely wide enough path to the town once more.

You didn’t stop waving until you were sure his car was out of sight. Slowly you turned back into your home, closing the door behind you, where you stood for a long, quiet moment.

Your legs shook the next second, trembling so hard that they gave out from underneath you. You collapsed to the floor, gasping for a breath you didn't realize you had been holding this whole time. You coughed, wincing at the pain of splinters gathering in your kneecaps, and you threw your hands out to catch yourself as you heaved. For a moment you felt like you were going to vomit onto the floor in front of you, but your throat was so dry with exhaustion that nothing dared to come up and ruin its scratchy heat.

You did it. You had made it out of that situation. Yet the weight on your shoulder burned like a brand, searing an invisible mark into your flesh as you cried out in pain, arching your back as if to escape the sensation.

Liar, your mind laughed at you, what a liar, lair, lair-

A new knock on the door startled you from your writhing episode on your floor. Your face paled in terror. Was the officer back? Maybe you could ignore his knocking. Maybe you could pretend to be in the back of your house and ignore the sound that scratched on your eardrums like a funeral march. Perhaps it was Jason? Returning early from his patrol and sensing your distress behind the door of your home? Your heart momentarily sparked with hope as you stood up on your feet again, feeling light headed as you turned and reached out, wincing at the feeling of the knob beneath your hand once again.

When you pulled it open this time, it was neither Hughes nor Jason. But someone new.

He was an older man, older than Officer Hughes certainly, with barely any hair on his wrinkled, liver-spotted forehead. The way his lip shriveled around his mouth indicated his lack of teeth, his sagging cheeks only serving to make the glare of dark brown eyes he trailed on you all the more intimidating. He stepped forward, invading your space the moment you opened the door. The scent of alcohol was radiating off of him, making you want to gag and cover your mouth as you took one step back into your home, swallowing hard.

“C...Can I help you?”

“Saw you talkin with Officer Friendly there,” He growled out with a raise of his eyebrow, “Told him you didn’t see nothin, didn’t ya?”

“Well, yes I-”

“Been a while since you been in town too, huh?”

Your eyes widened in surprise. It was true, you rarely visited the small town just outside of Crystal Lake. Since your self sustaining farm had taken off, you really only visited for canned goods to stock up on during the winter, or to sell some of your fresh produce to the local grocery store for a little extra money in your pocket here and there. When you did visit, you rarely talked to any of the locals that did not demand your immediate business. You exhaled, your fingertips drumming on the wood of your door.

“I haven’t had a need to.”

The man smiled, confirming your hypothesis on his missing teeth.

“Ya may have fooled the police, girl, but oh I know. I know just what you are, you know. Ain’t gonna pull the wool over ol’ Eddie’s eyes, oh no siree.”

He - Eddie you guessed - got closer to you, his eyes narrowing in a squint as you set your jaw in worry.

“Yer a witch, ain’t ya.” The way he said it didn’t mean it was a question, “Livin out here with yer potions and yer nature. I bet ya killed those folks, too! But oh, it don’t matter. You got em fooled, don't you?”

He was advancing more now, dangerous in his posture towards you as you swallowed hard. You stepped back into your home, moving your grip on the door to quickly shut it, but his boot clad foot blocked the entrance so it didn’t shut all the way. You gasped as he crawled through the gap, a spider with crazed eyes and gnashing jaws as he reached out for you with a glare.

“I knew you’d be trouble since ya came! Changing our town’s ways an communin out here with them spirits. Y’ain’t gonna fool me, not me! You’ll get turned right in and they’ll see ya for what ya are, ya witch! Ya daughter of Satan! Ya-”

He suddenly wasn’t there anymore. With a surprised yelp his entire form was peeled away from your door. You held your breath in surprise, your heart beating loud in your ears as you waited for another sign that he would come in. That he would break the door down and rip apart your form in search of his evidence. In search of anything to call you a witch once more. You looked at your hearth of bones and dried plants, setting your jaw as you understood the accusations, but did not want to hear them.

Instead all you heard outside was another strangled gasp of surprise. A solid snap of something fragile. A thud of body to wood.

You waited a few more seconds before gripping the frame in trembling hands, slowly peeling the door open to reveal what had happened just feet from you in your home.

Eddie’s head was bent to face his back, his eyes wide and dead in shock as his jaw hung limply, broken and bruising the tender skin of his old face. Only a small amount of blood dribbled from the dislocation of his jaw and neck, the tendons bursting against the bruising skin. His fingers curled in on themselves like a dead spider would curl its legs on itself. You stared, blank and unsure for the longest of moments as your heartbeat slowed in your chest. As you licked your suddenly too chapped lips in an effort to hold back your growing smile.

You failed, exhaling as the edges of your mouth upturned into something of a wide, relieved looking grin. You looked upwards from the crumpled body before you, a blush heating your cheeks as you admired the man standing in front of it, his breath coming in ragged gasps against his chest as he followed your gaze.

Jason reached out to you, ignoring the body on your porch. His fingertips roamed the vast expanse of your skin, feeling for any wounds or any indication that you had been hurt before he could reach out to protect you. When you gave a swift sign of ‘I’m fine’ his shoulders sagged in relief. His gaze returned momentarily to the body at his side. One hand reached up to his form, the awkwardness of signing with just a single one making it hard to read but understandable nonetheless. He refused to let go of you for even a moment.

‘What happened?’

‘Police came. Townsfolk are getting suspicious.’

The hand on your shoulder tensed, the pressure in creasing for only a moment.

‘Then I’ll kill them.’

‘No! You can’t get all of them.’

‘I want you to be safe.’

‘I’m safe with you. Always with you.’

Jason paused then, his hand finally freeing your arm as he looked away. He gazed down at the body in front of him, its tangled limbs and broken spine an homage to just what he would do for you. As if aiding in his thoughts, the wind blew gently through the trees. Fallen leaves swirled upwards in a momentary tornado. In the background, your chickens clucked in their coops and the soil housing both your plants and the dead bodies gathered for fertilizer filled Jason with a suddenly intense sort of want. He looked back at you. Through his mask you could see conviction. Surprised at the look, you tilted your head at him, brows furrowed in confusion. You reached your hand out to touch his face, rubbing along the rough edges of his hockey mask in a gentle gesture, one he leaned into as your touch grounded him.

“What’s wrong?” You spoke this time, your tone a weak whisper as you searched his gaze, “What are you thinking about?”

How he knew the next sign was beyond you, yet he moved his fingertips with such conviction that you could not help the heart stopping gasp that welled inside of you when he managed it:

‘Marry me.’

#jason voorhees x reader #jason voorhees imagine #jason voorhees #friday the 13th #friday the thirteenth #cabin fever #cabin fever series #slasher x reader #slasher imagine

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alfredosauce50 · 3 years

Text

Island Escapade [Ex-con 2p! America x reader x Denmark] 10

Island Escapade - 10 - Swimming pools Content warning: A little soft-core. Dubious consent. Mature audiences only. Wordcount: 2, 510 The reader is referred to as she/her.

A/N: I was inspired by Kendrick Lamar’s “Swimming pools”

Allen could drink like it was his job. But throughout the whole of his career, he’d never felt this nauseous. The skidding of the boat, the churn in his stomach, watching you and Mathias—it was all too much. Thanks to the dim light on board, he could see everything as clear as day during the night. You were half-awake on the Dane’s lap, fighting to stay in control of your body with seven shots’ worth of alcohol in your system. Poor thing.

Mathias was talking about taking you back to his house, even. Something about tablets. Medicine. If anything, going to his place was the last thing you wanted. Allen knew that much.

And yet, he couldn’t find the motivation to do anything about it. Not while his head was filled with hot water, leaving his mind in a haze. Alcohol was his weakness, and he never dropped the habit of making bad decisions under the influence.

Just as he thought, he was still the same.

When the boat finally docked at the wharf, he never lifted a finger when Mathias carried you off. He wasn’t walking in the direction of your house either. And yet, all Allen did was stand on the beach, mulling over the heat that overwhelmed his body. A searing headache was pounding in his skull, but it didn’t quite hurt like the ache in his chest.

He was giving up again. After trying so hard to get his shit together, he was giving up again.

It wasn’t the first time, so why was he crying?

He’d seen the look in your eyes. The way you stared at him like he was the best thing in the world. It was hard to believe, but deep down, he knew Mathias wasn’t the only one. The only difference was that you trusted him. You trusted Allen. You wanted to be with him. But he was letting you go, letting you down all over again, letting Mathias become the one thing he wanted to be. Yours.

I think that I'm feelin' the vibe, I see the love in her eyes I see the feelin', the freedom is granted As soon as the damage of vodka arrive

After giving you some water, bread, and crackers, you eventually felt well enough to move on your own. A shower was in order after a night out in the club, but he wasn't entertaining the idea of any drunken accidents. So while you adjusted the temperature, he joined you in the cubicle. "You should've brought me with you if you were gonna drink," Mathias began, coiling two arms around your stomach.

"He doesn't know how much you can handle."

Pressing flush against you only made your heart pound like a drum. You could feel everything, from his wide chest and toned stomach to the space between his legs. This wasn't happening. "... I know my own limits, Mat. So maybe I wanted to get hammered," You murmured, tugging at his arms for him to let go. "It's fine. Allen's fine. He was looking after me before you came."

He released you, albeit reluctantly. "You're upset." His wet hair was slicked back, and steady streams of water were trailing down his face as he watched your frustrated expression. "Why?"

"Why?" You turned to him, in awe at how dense he was. It was becoming hard to believe it was just cluelessness. Entitlement sounded more like it. "Because I'm in the shower with you, that's why!" Mathias's eyes widened as you rose your voice. You shot an arm out to gesture at his crotch, but you really weren't much of an exception.

"I can see your dick, Mat. Don't you see anything wrong with this picture?"

He stared down at himself. When he glanced back up, it became clear to you he didn't—his stare on you was hard and unwilling. "... I'm just... I'm just trying to look after you. Can't I do that?" He responded, earning a huff from you. His deep frown spoke of untold regret, and you were sick of seeing it.

"You keep saying that, but you're pushing it. You could've stayed outside." Turning around to get some body wash into your hand, you lathered it all over your body. "Why are you so weird? Why am I so weird? Why am I even—" When you spun back around, your cheeks were flushed with a deep red. Whether it was from the alcohol or something else, Mathias didn't know.

"—why am I letting you do this?"

Deep creases formed between his brows. He knew the exact answer to that question, but he was too afraid to say it. "... I don't know."

"Yes, you do. You know everything. You just pretend that you don't." Digging a finger into his chest, you watched distress run across his face. If you were sober, you wouldn't even be saying these things. But the truth was finally stepping into the light, raw and unfiltered in the form of a drunken ramble. And you were onto him. "You knew what you were doing. Living with me, sleeping with me, it was all part of your little game to get me back. Well, guess what?"

Mathias's chest was rising and falling intensely at this point. While he breathed heavily, his heart was racing, threatening to burst out of his ribs. He could already predict what you were about to say, and yet, he was insanely nervous to hear it. "... What?"

"It’s working." Blood flushed his face until he was even redder than you—excitement, euphoria, love-sickness, it was all there. His eyes lit up with the most happiness you’ve seen him with, which spoke volumes when he was already a cheerful person. Was this it? Were you finally accepting him again? Not yet. "But if you think you won me over, you’ve jumped the gun. I’m not staying here. I need to get home."

You turned your back on him to keep washing. A deep pout scrunched up his face while he was left standing in a cloud of steam, heating up faster than the water from the showerhead. It’s working, you’d said. Lingering on the words made him burn up with lust so potent, he was left reeling. This was the part where he’d convince you to give in. Like every time you both got into a disagreement, he’d kiss you drunk and take you to bed to make up.

It was the oldest trick in the book, and it worked every time. No wonder he was getting hard. His body sensed what was happening. His mind just picked up on it a little later. And he’d act on it once you were both done with the shower.

"I'll walk you back," Mathias murmured by the doorway. He watched you gather the last of your things in the living room. He'd spent so long at your place, he couldn't bear the sight of you walking out on him. Not again. It became apparent that sleeping alone in his own house wasn't an option. "But can I ask for one last thing?"

There was a subtle droop to his eyes. His hands were by his side, clenched in fists, and his frown was growing deeper at every second you failed to say anything—your breath hitched as you forced the word out. "... Yeah?" One last things never ended well with someone like Mathias. You knew that better than anyone. But the thought never occurred to your intoxicated self.

You just wanted him to stop looking at you like this.

"Can I kiss you?" He took your wrist and held it gently. "Just once."

It wasn't desire he sparked. Rather, it was a harrowing kind of bittersweetness that made your chest tighten up. And so, a deafening silence followed, but only because it was so loud. He had you again, and you weren't pushing him away. Instead, you did something free from your better judgment, which was long burned away by alcohol.

You reached up to his face, giving him the green light. So he leaned down and pressed his mouth to yours. The force was enough to move your head back, so when he pulled away, your lips seemed to follow his. Led on by nothing but an ache that never went away, one kiss turned into two, then three, then a heated lip-lock you couldn't remove yourself from. And Mathias knew.

It was a sin in itself to keep going, but the thought merely got his blood pumping. Without parting, he picked you up and carried you to the bedroom. There on his bed, he pulled you onto his lap. Then, he kissed you until you'd have the taste of his mouth ingrained in your brain. You were breathless the whole time. And yet, the heavy panting never broke the thick ropes of saliva draping between your tongues.

He never let you get the air you desperately needed, let alone the chance to think. Mathias wanted you to lose yourself. He wanted you to feel the same hot yearning that had him in a chokehold.

He wanted you to make the same mistakes as you did in the past.

When you wrapped your arms around his strong neck, it became clear he was getting what he wanted. History was about to be repeated, and it would start with the growing tent in his boxers. If you didn't snap out of it soon, he'd have you naked in his bed and under him before you knew it. And to make up for all the time lost, a year's worth of it, a few hours of love-making wouldn't suffice.

"Just stay the night, eskler," Mathias whispered in your ear. "I miss you."

Having sex with him all night sounded more like it.

Breaking up with him would be history, and you'd be back to square one. Back to letting him do what he wanted, so long as he could put his hands on you. The man was a sex fiend. A bigger one than what Allen could ever be. And you were so foolish to not see it sooner.

Back in your house, Allen was raiding the fridge for anything to offset against the wooziness. He hated tearing through carbs so carelessly like this, but at least he wouldn't feel like complete shit. After scoffing down a packet of biscuits, he sauntered to his room and tried to take his mind off things. He never thought he'd willingly open Animal Crossing on your switch, but the cutesiness of it all made it worth a shot.

However, the longer he kept playing, the worse he felt.

Some island living he was going through. If only reality made it a permanent escape like the game did. In a month's time, he'd be out of here. The R and R he indulged in was about to end on a depressing note, and he'd be back to being a bum. What about you? Probably seeing Mathias again. He practically gagged at the thought. The sick churning in his stomach returned like an old friend, and it never stopped as he lingered on the earlier events that night.

But when he remembered what you told him, he had to hold himself back from vomiting on the spot.

Mathias loves kids, you'd said. And you know how selfish he can get.

That's why I had to break things off.

Allen paled with terror. What had he done? But the real concern wasn't that—it was what he failed to do.

He turned off the switch and scrambled outside. With nothing but a torch in hand, he ventured out into the dark, searching for a house he'd never been to. He didn't know what it looked like, but that never slowed him down. In fact, he ran even faster, tearing through the island like a madman to get to you. This was his last chance at redemption, his last chance at being there for you when you needed it. All the self-doubt had been staved off by this bout of desperation.

He could sulk later. For now, he needed to get to you.

Half an hour went by in fearful anticipation. He went house by house until he arrived at his destination. Without bothering to knock, he broke into one of the windows with his expert lock-picking skills. Allen didn't have time to worry about morals. Not that he stopped to second-guess anything. Not with you in mind. He just hoped he wasn't too late.

Rapid footsteps thudded down the hall, slowing Mathias' movements to a stop. He had his fingers looped around the side of your underwear, and he would've pulled it down if it weren't for what he heard. Before he could register the intruder as the resident ex-con, his damnation and your salvation, they slammed the door open. In stormed Allen, looking like Hell.

When he saw Mathias hovering over you, half-dressed and dazed beyond compare, something inside him snapped. Marching over to rip the man off of you, he threw a hard punch right across his jaw. "That's for beating me up for no reason," He hissed, pulling his hand back for another strong strike. "And that's—" Allen pounded his fist into his face, again and again, driven by a fury so hot, he had to wonder if he'd gone insane. "—for taking advantage of her!"

He was never satisfied until Mathias fell unconscious. Giving his hand a brief shake to get rid of the blood, he cast a softened gaze over your limp form. Immediately, his anger simmered down. You were okay. A little fucked up, but okay. Scooping you up under your back and legs, he carried you all the way home. While he did, you never let go of his neck. After tonight's fiasco, you've never been so calm. The smell of his cologne, the clinking of his dog tags, you couldn't mistake it for anyone else. And it was all you needed for a good night's sleep.

Needless to say, Mathias wasn't allowed in your house anymore. After getting beat up like that, he learned his lesson and backed off. Allen did call himself a criminal, and Mathias got exactly what he paid for.

It was just you and Allen again, spending every minute of the day together for the rest of his sentence. There wasn't much time left, so you needed to make the most of what you had. And on one of those days, you hoped to remind him how much you adored him. But at each passing day running across the burning hot sand and wading through warm waters, the adoration seemed to swell into something greater.

He was abnormal in every way he could be—from his personality to his looks—but the idea of being more than friends gave you hope that you could be normal too. That you could finally move on. Allen didn't have many aspirations in life, but he was beginning to look more and more like the answer to your future.

#hetalia x reader #hetalia fanfiction #hetalia fanfic #country x reader #aph denmark #denmark x reader #hws denmark #2p america #2p america x reader #2p! america x reader #2p!america #2p!america x reader #allen jones #island escapade #alfredosauce50 #hetalia axis powers #axis powers hetalia #axis powers ヘタリア

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bciwasinlove · 3 years

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how would you analyize or interpret the song walls?cause i‘ve heard a lot of people say it‘s a break up song as it‘s written in past tense and basically saying he‘s stronger now after a break up (maybe even from a toxic relationship), he‘s risen above it and it doesn‘t really sound like a love song about an ongoing romance, does it?

Hi anon this is going to be a long one bc there is no quick answer to this so just know you asked for this.

First let's get one thing straight the ones who claim Walls [the album in general] is a break up album are the "Rads" short for Radical Louies. Essentially they are toxic louies who once were a larry shipper [not even a real larrie] but now hate Harry bc their mad Louis hasn't gotten the same promo and solo opportunities Harry has and some how in their eyes that's Harry's fault. They don't see it was Syco trying to sabotage Louis and in no way is Louis being sabotaged Harry's fault. Rads try to twist the truth and believe Harry left Louis for fame so since they hate Harry they have twisted the meaning of Walls to in their head a break up from a toxic relationship. They also really want LT2 to be a HUGE SHADE break up album which is 100% not the case so don't believe their crap.

Tho I heard you may have sent this same ask to others [who probably ignored you] so there is a chance you are a rad trying to find out what larries believe. Either way if you are a confused larrie or an undercover rad you probably need this info that no one else will bother giving you the time of day to tell you but I myself thought why not I'll answer you.

Second Louis and Harry have been happily in love for 10 years and have not officially broken up. Yes they have had issues like any couple does but it did not stem from eachother their issues stemed from them being forcibly closeted, the stunt gfs and their labels thus their songs are not break up songs but songs about not being able to be free and forced to fake date others when all they want is to publicly be with the one they love.

Now that that is out of the way here's why Walls is about Louis loving one person and one person only since he was 18. I'm doing the whole album [minus TOU] bc it is impossible to state why Walls the song is not a break up song without mentioning the others like Too Young [which rads also claim as a break up song] bc the album as a whole paints the whole picture.

Bree's analysis on Walls

Kill My Mind:

You kill my mind, raise my body back to life and I don't know what I'd do without you now.

KMM is definitely the sexual song of Walls [not No Control type sexual but just we click right from the start sexual] It has the I just met you and we are figuring one another out vibe [both physically and just as people] and how right from the start Louis craves Harry and his attention. It has a similar vibe to Watermelon Sugar which Harry said is about the euphoria of falling in love and the way the other person makes you feel right from the start. Louis in KMM is saying I've just meet someone and they are now all I think about, crave and I don't know how I would be able to live without them.

Don't Let It Break Your Heart:

And I know you left apart of you in New York under your bed in a box, but your doing better.

Flashback to HS1 "Ever Since New York" seems like they both love to mention something happening in NY with their lover. We may never know what happened but it's always a funny coincidence when they mention the same places in their songs almost like their singing about the same situation.

Life gets hard and it gets messed up when you give so much, but it's not enough when the highs to high and the lows to low when you love somone and they let you go.

As I stated before their issues involved the stunts [fake dating women] so when Louis says love someone and they let you go he means when his lover gave into what they were being told to do for the sake of their careers. As young as they were when this all started it's hard not to think they may have fell for the lies being fed to them. So Harry let "Louis go" by being seeing with a ton of women gaining himself the brand of "lady's man" while also being forced to watch Louis be with someone else [Eleanor] and publicly act like that was the one he loved. Harry wrote the song Just a Little Bit of Your Heart which is a prime exactly of those feelings. Harry loves Louis so much but he only gets to love him privately while Eleanor gets to loves him publicly and as Harry wrote a little bit of your love is better then none.

Were driving down a one way road to something better. What hurts you is going to pass you'll be doing better.

This shows they know the pain all the bad things thrown their way won't stick around forever. They will overcome this and one day they will see the light at the end of the tunnel or the rainbow after the storm.

We Made It:

Cause we made it, Underestimated and always underrated. Now we're saying goodbye waving to the hard time yeah it's gonna be already.

Do I need to explain it I would say the title alone and this chorus makes it very clear. Break up who when where how? They had hard ships but NOT from their own doing. WMI is about how decpite all they were put through they made it. Flashback to Harry HS1 tour with Kacey in a rainbow dress at MSG in front of 36k people singing "[their/where] still together still going strong." They want you to know nothing will break them apart no matter how hard anyone tries. We are keeping the bad in the past and moving forward to a better tomorrow.

Share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about. Things we'd never say to someone else out loud.

This reminds me of their Xfactor days or early 1D tour days bc in 1D interviews it was always made clear they would share rooms and also how on the bus Louis bunk was filled with his junk so where did he sleep then? Also there are many former Xfactor contestants that have come out and said they were forced to be in the closet on the show. Flashback to an article claiming the people in charge of the 2010 Xfactor season tried to hide and keep a same sex couple apart wonder who that was? That line is about when they were young and the late nights they spent together wondering how their future was going to go. They were still just big smiles, wide eyed, oblivious young boys when they imagined only good things to come of the future with them and the band.

We were only kids just trying to work it out. Wonder what they'd say if they could see us now?/ Don't know why they put all of this on us when we're so young. Done a pretty good job dealing with it all.

We were only kids [when Louis fell in love with said person] and we're so young reminds me of Harry's song To Be So Lonely where he says "Don't blame me for falling I was just a little boy." They both mention falling in love at a young age and both mention how after all this time they are still just as in love as back then but just a little less naive/oblivious. They are both hinting at a higher person [their label/management] who didn't approve of their love and telling them it wasn't going to work out. Harry going you can't be mad at me I was only a boy and Louis going wonder what would happen if they saw us now meaning look we didn't let you win. They tried so hard to separate Louis and Harry but it didn't work and Louis wants us and THEM especially to know they are still very much together, they handled it as best at they could and they weren't going to let them keep Louis and Harry apart.

Meet you at your uni, cheap drink, drink em all night

This is what we call a stunt line to push a narrative. Harry does stunt songs [Carolina and Cherry] while Louis does stunt lines. This line is suppose to allude to the album being for Eleanor [bc she went to Manchester Uni] but the rest of the album is so clearly not for her. If this song was about a break up from Harry then why would they bother adding in a stunt line about Eleanor when the public story is El and Louis are happily still together with Louis planning to marry her? Unless Walls isn't a break up album and it's very loudly Louis declaring him and Harry are still happily together and they wanted to try and force the image that Louis is happily in love with Eleanor. Also funny how this album is gender neutral and has no she pronouns in it unlike Zayn's new album having she pronouns.

Too Young:

We were to young to know we had everything. Too Young, I wish I could've seen it all along. I'm sorry that I hurt you, darling, no we were to young

This song is all about how when Harry was only 16 and he was 18 [Louis himself saying the song is about meeting the one at 18] he was to young to realize he had the best lover he was ever going to have, he had it all. As I said before issues in songs = management/stunts and this is Illuding to how Louis let them minupulate them and do what it was they wanted aka stunting and forcing Louis to be with Eleanor and Harry have a "lady's image" since he was only 16 and Louis now looking back and realizing he should have fought harder. Louis at the time didn't realize how much all this would hurt Harry having to share Louis [once again Just a Little Bit of Your Heart is Harry's feelings about that] and its once he's older he realizes what he did to hurt the only one who he ever truly loved and it pains him to know he put his lover through that even if it wasn't Louis fault Harry went through that.

I've been looking back a lot lately me and you is all I've ever known. Oh I can't believe I gave in to the pressure. When they said a love like this would never last. I didn't know no better now I realize yeah I realize.

So similar to before he's saying Harry is all he's ever known and him giving in to the pressure was about agreeing to fake date Eleanor and allow them to be heavily closeted. Reflecting back on those days he regrets so much what he agreed to do. They said a love like this wouldn't last is their management/label not agreeing with them being together and how two boys in a boyband marketed towards young women won't last, they won't sell records as an out gay couple with Louis believing their lies for a bit and he now regrets ever thinking they were right. This is a reflection song of not understanding what he had when he was so young but he sees it clearly now and he will never let THEM win he loves Harry and won't ever let him go ever.

Walls:

These high walls, they came up short now I stand taller then them all. These high walls never broke my soul and I watched them all come fallin down for you.

The high walls he refers to is all the assholes who tried to break him, break Harry and tried to ruin his career out of spite. This is towards the ones who told him they would never succeed being as they are a committed gay couple. Louis for a time believed them when they said their love wouldn't last, no one will want to listen to their music as a gay couple but eventually he realized they were wrong and those walls he had up filling him with doubt and insecurities were broken down. He allowed his "high walls" to come down because Harry was worth the effort it took to bring them down.

So this one is a thank you for what you did to me. Why is it that thank you's are often bittersweet? I just hope I see you one day and you say to me, Oh.

This is what one calls a metaphor he does not mean a physical person he means the walls he had up for a long time making him feel so insecure bc of how some of the people around him that made him feel so worthless crushing his spirt for so long. The metaphorical person he is thanking for helping him become the person he is today is the wall he broke down. The hardships he dealt with when he was younger got him to where he is today.

For every question why you were my because

Why am I still fighting?

Why have I not given up yet?

The because to his question is his lover HERE is where he directly refers to his lover. Harry is someone who is worth fighting for and will always be one of the reasons he hasn't stopped fighting. He loves Harry more then anything and will fight until the day he can publicly hold his hand, publicly post pictures of them together, publicly go on dates and publicly declare his love for him.

Habit:

You're the habit that I can't break, you're the feeling I can't put down, you're the shiver that I can't shake, you're the habit that I can't break, you're the high that I need right now.

Written over and over throughout the song these are some of the most important lines he wrote about Harry. It's Louis way of saying even if he wanted to, even if it would be easier for him and Harry he can never let him go. Harry's version of this is in Adore You when he sings "You don't have to say you love me, you don't have to say nothing and you don't have to say you're mine. I'd walk through fire for you just let me adore you like it's the only thing I'll ever do." Harry is saying even if publicly you can never say you love me I know you do and I will do anything for you because I am madly in love and could never let you go. They both would go through hell along side each other then being partially happy and the other not being by their side. Harry is the only one he ever wants to spend his life with and no matter what hardships they are put through there is no scenario where being without each other is a better alternative.

I took some time 'cause I've ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I'm supposed to be but honestly, I don't have to choose anymore

The line of all lines he took time away bc he was tired of the facade of faking what makes him happy, faking loving some girl, faking being anything but himself. He's back now and knows without a doubt who he is and is proud of it. No more confusion, no more lies he loves a curly haired dimpled boy and no one will tell him he can't love him. Harry's version of this is the chorus of Lights Up "All the lights couldn't put out the dark, runnin' through my heart. Lights up and they know who you are, know who you are. Do you know who you are? Shine step into the light, shine so bright sometimes, shine I'm not ever going back." They both tell you they have figured out whi they are and are very proud of who they have become and no one will tell them they can't be anything but themselves. They WILL scream it out loud and proud letting everyone know who they love one day [as if 16 and 18 year old H&L didn't already do that.]

And it's been ages, different stages come so far from Princess Park. I'll always need ya in front of me, in front of me

Oh the line that shocked every larrie I know. When he first sang this song and we first heard this line at a live concert everyone was shocked because we all knew what their was only one meaning to it. It was such a drastic line that the Elounors tried to claim he sang Starbuck [until the official lyrics came out.] Princess Park is the name of the apartment/flat complex all of the 1D boys lived in after the Xfactor BUT Niall, Liam and Zayn had their own apartment/flat while Louis and Harry shared one and they always made it very clear to everyone they met that they lived together.

So in a love song Louis sings about how him and his lover have come so far since their Princess Park days and his lover will always be the one he needs. Putting Harry's fav love song Sweet Creature plus Louis line about his lover together it would read " And, oh, we started two hearts in one home, come so far [since] princess park. I'll always need you in front of me. Wherever I go you bring me home" you do the math here. Their lyrics sink up just as much as their tattoos do.

Always You:

I went to Amsterdam without you and all I could do was think about you and oh-oh-oh I should've known

The Amsterdam line one of those lines that can be fact checked and proven to not be for Eleanor. So Louis took Eleanor to Amsterdam for her birthday at a gay bar no less back in July/August of 2017. Then a week or two later wrote the song Always You leaking a snippet of it to us where the lines of him singing about how he went to Amsterdam without his lover and his lover was all he could think about were heard. If he went with Eleanor then clearly that isn't his lover but we know this. Fast forward 2020 Walls comes out and we FINALLY hear the full song of Always You.

Louis said he only put the song on the album because the fans wanted it but if it was just because of us and the song wasn't THAT important to him why did he leak those lines back in 2017 that could easily be fact checked that the lover he sings about isn't Eleanor? It's like he wanted us to know it's not for Eleanor this line is important. So the fact that almost 3 years later he still put the song out shows the song means a lot to him and even in 2020 the meaning of the song still resonates with him and how it will Always be THIS one person that means everything to him. Funny though how his loudest, easily fact checkable songs [to not be about Eleanor] are the ones he downplays the most about importance to him.

I went to Tokyo to let it go. Drink after drink, but I still felt alone I should've known

When it comes to this song the Amsterdam line is Louis speaking [because he went to Amsterdam without Harry] while the Tokyo line is Harry speaking [because Harry went to Tokyo without Louis] and after Harry came back from Tokyo, Japan Louis was seen wearing a ton of new clothes from Japanese clothing brands. This is both of them saying I may be in a wonderful new place but it's not the same without you here. They are sad and alone and would rather be with each other then traveling around the world.

I'm wastin' my time when it was always you, always you. Chasin' the high, but it was always you, always you

I think this is self explanatory he sees no reason to even think about being with someone else because he knows without a shadow of doubt [thinks he always knew deep down] it was always Harry. There was never going to be anyone else for him but Harry.

I went from LAX to Heathrow. Walked through my door, but it felt nothing like home cause you're not home. Waiting to wrap your legs around me

LA and London are their two main residences and places they tend to go back and forth a lot. When he "goes home" if Harry is not there Louis feels as though it doesn't really feel like home because home to Louis is wherever Harry is. They can travel all around the world, meet a ton of new people but no place and others will ever make them feel fully satisfied unless their lover is by their side.

Fearless:

Cashin your weekend treasures, for a suit and time a second wife. Now I'm not saying that you could have done better just remember that I, I've seen that fire alight.

The first line is a nod to the industry itself and how to get your "weekend tresures" [be famous and earn a lot of money] you have to put up a fake facade, acting and looking the way they want you to because in their eyes if you are not the conventional person Hollywood wants they believe you will not make them the money they desire because we all know they only care about money nothing else. At a cost of the real them they must put on a fake smile, go out there sing doing nothing unconventional and they will get money and fame.

The second line yes they are happily together and Louis doesn't want or believe Harry will find someone else but he has seen Harry when all of this gets to be to much and when Harry puts up a facade of I've never had an issue with all of this Louis reminds him that I've seen you when your not fine, it's ok to not always be fine and I am here for you when things are not rainbows and sunshine.

Tell me do you still remember feeling young? And strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people? Just for tonight, look inside and spark that memory of you.

Refering back to Xfactor and early 1D days he's asking Harry if he remembers those days together back when they hadn't really gone through hardships yet and all the strength they had during their youth willing to take on the world together. He's asking him to bring that strength back and remember the younger version of himself. He's asking him to not give up because the younger him wouldn't want him to. It's been 10 years and they are still fighting, fighting as hard as they did when they were merely teenagers not knowing what lied ahead but wer happy as long as it meant they had each other in the end.

Now if happiness is always measured by the life we design, the car on the drive then you should feel better then ever but you know as well as I it's all lies.

This line speaks volumes as stated before with Fearless we have references to the industry and even just life in general. From the outside looking in they got money, fame, material things, they have it all and if deciding who is more happy in life was based on those things then they would win but Louis is telling Harry we both know that isn't the case. The industry isn't sunshine and rainbows, they treat people like shit and strip away everything about a person if they don't think their real self will sell. They only want to make a profit off them and don't care about how they feel about any of it. Everything is a lie the truth must be counseled.

Perfect Now:

You say to me your jeans don't fit, you don't feel pretty and it's hard to miss. I wish you could see my point of view as someone staring back at you.

This song is personally underrated to me I love this song. This song is so uplifting when you are feeling insecure and negative about yourself. Louis personally had a certain curly haired boy in mind when he wrote this. He's talking about Harry's insecurities with himself and Louis wishes Harry could see things from his view and how amazing and perfect Harry is to him.

Cause everybody is looking at you now. I guess some queens don't need a crown and I know why. Even when your tears are following now still someone, you're perfect now.

One of those it's definitely not for Eleanor moments. We all know [especially during fine line era] everyone was talking about Harry, knows his name and eyes turn to him when he walks in the room. Louis is so proud of Harry and is happy everyone else sees what he sees but Harry doesn't always see what others see in him and during those times where he is not already Louis is saying I will be right there with you. I am with you through the good and the bad because even when tears are running down his face Harry is still perfect to Louis.

Cause you're the only one when it's said and done. You make me feel like being someone good to you. Even at your worst you steal the scene.

No matter where life takes them, no matter how hard it gets Louis is reassuring Harry he will always be there by his side. At the end of it all when the final act is over and the curtain is closeting he will still be there because there will never be anyone else he wants to be next to at the end of all of this. Louis looks into Harry's eyes he watches all he does and is intrance wanting nothing more then being the one to be there when he is down and always being the who makes the pain go away even if for a moment.

Defenseless:

I hate to say, but I do we're sleeping on our problems like we'll solve them in our dreams. We walk up early morning and they're still under our sheets.

*Sigh* this is reality setting in things aren't perfect. In their line of work, being who they are, being a closeted gay couple things aren't going to be perfect 100% of the time. Most of the time they would rather ignore all the shit they are forced to indure but Louis realizes just ignoring it all won't make it go away he will wake up each morning next to Harry knowing those issues will always be around by neither fault of their own. He hopes one day they will get to be a happily open couple who posts pics online, goes out on public dates and gets to live the domestic life they always wanted but right now that just isn't their reality. Their reality is I can only look at you for more then 5 seconds or touch you when no one is around to notice.

Been up all night, all night running my lines but it's only the truth. Been up all night not sure how to say this right got so much to loose. / You just keep on building up your fences but I've been so defenseless.

Another metaphor here Louis wondering how to bring this up to Harry and not upset him. The last thing Louis ever wants is for him to be the reason Harry has a frown upon is wonderful face. Harry is more the one to bottle up and ignore the negative things while Louis is the more practical one and he knows he has a ton to loose [Harry and his love] if he doesn't go about this situation right.

No you don't have to keep on being strong for you and me acting like you feel no pain I know you do. And I can't get inside your head when you're lost in your pride but you don't have a thing to prove.

Harry is the one who bottles up his pain, puts on the fake smiles, and makes everyone believe he is perfectly fine. He acts like he can handle what he is forced to indure 100% of the time but Louis sees through that and just wants him to open up more. He knows Harry feels just as much pain as he does and wishes he wouldn't hide it and pretend everything is always fine. Louis wants to be able to help Harry through the pain and to let know he will always be there for him no matter what so don't pretend your always fine just to make others around him, make Louis feel better.

I hope I'm not asking to much just wanna be loved by you. And I'm to tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you.

Louis is tired of pretending, wishes everyone understood, wishes what he is asking for wasn't to much. All he wants is to be loved by Harry and live the domestic life he always invisioned with Harry and no one else but his live is not that simple.

Only The Brave:

Pour mercy, mercy on me, set fire to history. I'm breaking my own rules, I'm crying like a fool. It's a church of burnt romances and I'm to far gone to pray. It's a solo song and it's only for the brave.

I'm sure you understand Louis is gay but if you didn't this line right here is all you need to understand that. No straight man is going to write or sing those lines. He's gone down a path of self discovery and figuring himself out he knows he is and he is to far gone to turn back now but he has no desire to even if he could turn back. He is proud of who he is and doesn't care what anyone else thinks of him.

If the truth tell, darling, you fell, like their ain't enough dying stars in your sky. It's a tell tale and it's only hello, hello, no goodbyes.

It's only hello no goodbyes meaning the confusion, the is this for life between Louis and Harry questions are gone. They aren't turning back, they aren't saying goodbye, they are only saying hello to what lies ahead. The truth is clear, their story is clear, they fell for one another and Harry metaphorical speaking fell for Louis in a way where his star shines brighter then ever just by being with him.

Pour mercy, mercy on me, I'll fall upon my knees and they'll say, I told you so come on when you know you know. All the lonely shadows dancing from the cradle to the grave.

When you know you know they knew right from the start it's me and you until the end. Some won't agree but in the end that does not matter to Louis because he only cares about Harry being by his side. He will not apologize for falling in love he loves who he loves and that is it.

We Made It Directors Cut MV:

If the lyrics alone don't tell you the full story then the music video mini movie should. It sums up everything I explained. Louis being forced to do things he doesn't want, it effecting his relationship to the point their drowning [Harry in Falling MV] but manage to survive. Louis lover never speaking but the girl with ties to the evil one in charge does until eventually Louis breaks free from the man in charge controlling him and Louis finally gets to run away with his lover because he made sure they would make it in the end.

Ending:

Walls is about self discovery, learning to overcome your insecurities "breaking down your walls" no matter how hard it may be and Louis understanding he met the one at 18 and how Harry will always be worth fighting for, THEY will always be worth it bc they knew even as young as they were they were going to get married, have kids and grow old together. So you still want to tell me how any song on Walls is about a break up or Louis moving on from Harry because I certainly don't see it. Walls is Louis perspective on their 10 year relationship and his support and love towards Harry if you want Harry's perspective and his support and love toward Louis you would have to dive into HS and FL but that's a whole other analysis.

They have not given up on each other even if at times it would have been easier they didn't so I will never give up on them. They continue to fight I have been in this fandom supporting them for 10 years watching their continous fight and I will be here another 10 years supporting them if that is how long it takes for them to get the life they knew they wanted when they were only 16 and 18.

#larry is still together going strong #walls lyric analysis #walls is not a break up album #larry is and always will be real #louis #harry #larry stylinson

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themidnight-ghost · 3 years

Text

If we had 5 more minutes

Kate Fleming moves in with Jo Davidson under witness protection. Feelings are discovered, they get a dog, host Jo's first (proper) Christmas, and Kate finally realises what it's like to truly love someone.

“You can live the life you should have lived. Be free to be the person that you really are.”

“Where do you plan on going next?” Steve took another sip of his beer; god knows what was going on in his friend’s mind. Kate Fleming had been confused ever since she met the infamous Jo Davidson, and after the conversation they just had, he knew Kate would be crazy to let her go.

“Home, probably.”

Steve could hear the uncertainty in Kate’s voice, and he placed a reassuring hand atop of hers, “If you want her, go get her, mate.”

“I’m afraid.” Kate ducked her head, “I know she has witness protection, but something tells me it won’t be enough. I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Follow your heart. If I deserve a shot, so do you.” He gestured to the harsh autumn air drifting through the slit in the doorway. Kate felt like it was calling her. She knew exactly where she wanted to go and who she needed to see, “I’ll text you.”

Steve Arnott smiled as he watched his best friend grab her jacket and flag down a taxi, “I know you will.”

By the time Kate arrived at Jo’s safe house, it was already 3 am. She felt terrible leaving the woman alone after everything that had happened, but who could really blame her. After knocking on the door 6 times, doubt started to rise in the DI’s chest. What if Jo had forgotten about her? What if she was asleep? What if something terrible had happened?

Fleming knocked again, this time with more urgency.

“Jo? It’s me, Kate. Can you open the door?” After no answer, Kate started becoming illogical. She was never a rational person, often acting on impulse and facing the consequences. It never even occurred to her that Jo could’ve been in the shower. Kate automatically presumed the worst and started looking for a way to scale the building.

Using her detective skills, Kate located a web of ivy stretching up the side of the house. She tugged on it gently at first, then with a little more force before pulling herself up, gasping slightly as a branch gave way but continued to climb, unaware of the approaching figure.

“I didn’t know you have a double life.” A tired Scottish accent echoed through their street, and Kate almost lost her footing, “You look like you’re about to rob me.”

Thankful that the darkness hid her reddening cheeks, Kate began to make her way down to the former DCI who wore matching sweatpants and sweatshirt.

“Then again, I wouldn’t expect anything less from the woman who saved my life.” Jo twiddled her fingers as Kate approached, not wanting to cross a line.

“It was nothing, don’t worry about it.”

It wasn’t nothing.

Kate still remembered when Steve pulled over the van, how she froze after seeing Jo in such a dangerous position. The DI wanted to say something when they switched places, caress her hand as a sign of good luck, kiss her goodbye or reassure her that everything would be okay. Instead, she waited in silence as Jo was taken away from her yet again.

Unable to take the stillness, Kate spoke again, “How are you feeling?”

“I can’t sleep,” Jo admitted with a sad smile, “I’m constantly locking my doors, checking behind me and closing curtains. I want it to end, Kate.”

The DI wasn’t ready for such an honest confession, but she presumed it was because Jo had nothing left to lose - everything she had was now lost or a lie.

Kate automatically stepped forward, “It will end. The Gaffer’s picked out a place for you, somewhere in the country but still close to this place. You’ll be under witness protection. It’s like I said: you can live the life you should’ve lived.”

“Alone?” Jo’s accent was unusually weak. Alone was the harsh reality Jo didn’t want to admit true. She wanted nothing more but for Kate to come with her and live out a life together free of AC-12 and the OCG, but both women knew that wouldn’t be possible. Kate had a son and her job. Besides, Jo wasn’t worth loving.

Kate Fleming felt the same way. Every instinct in the DI’s body was begging to run to the smaller woman and hold her tightly in her arms, never letting go. It wouldn’t be practical. No one was supposed to know about Jo’s location, not even Hastings.

“I’m sorry, Kate. Forget it; I’m the last person you’d want to be stuck with.”

Jo clearly still felt guilty about leading Kate to her death, but all of that was in the past. Kate didn’t care, and driving off into the night regardless of previous events was the best decision Kate had ever made.

“Jo, wait.” The DI instinctively grabbed the smaller woman’s wrist, stopping her from leaving, “Hear me out. I’ve never considered myself as anything other than straight, but that’s changed.”

Jo liked how Kate’s hand felt, securely wrapped around her wrist and never letting go. It felt safe like nothing can hurt her anymore.

“Christ, I’ve never been good at wording things or forming sentences, but I’ve never felt this way before, and I feel like a child.”

It only just occurred to Jo that this could be a confession.

“You’re so perfect. And even with everything you have going on, you’re still perfect even if you don’t think it now. And in the un-weirdest way possible, I want to follow you.” gentle drops of rain fell from the sky, “I want to follow you to the country, to England, to France, to wherever. Just so I can be with you. And I feel guilty that it took me this long to tell you because if something, anything happened in that prison, I don’t know what I’d do.”

At first, Jo thought this was a sick joke set up by AC-12 to get revenge, but the only thing in Kate’s eyes was honesty.

“You mean that?” The former DCI mentally cursed at her answer.

Taking both of Jo’s hands, Kate pulled her close.

“Of course I mean that. I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” Something clicked, “I’m going to do everything I can to go home with you.”

And for the first time in ages, Joanne Davidson smiled. Too absorbed in the DI’s presence to consider anything else, she hesitantly cupped Kate’s face, pressing their foreheads together in the rain.

“Come home with me, Kate.”

☁️ ------------------- ☁️

Even though Kate doubted witness protection, she’d pulled a couple of strings that allowed her to move in with Jo. Initially, Kate had used Jo’s history with the OCG to convince AC-12 to let her move in, but as more truths became unearthed, Kate outed herself to Carmichael and was given the nod of approval.

It wasn’t the way Kate wanted it to go, but it still worked, and the DI wasn’t complaining. She still kept her job, her best friend, all whilst getting to live with the woman she... loved? Kate was still wavering about that word.

“I didn’t think it would be this big,” Jo spoke over the radio as the pair pulled into the driveway of a rural cottage.

Kate smirked, “Only the best for the best.”

Matching Kate’s humorous tone, Jo pointed to the ivy snaking up the trellis.

“Just in case you feel like climbing into the house again.”

“I was worried, yeah?” Kate gently nudged the smaller woman in the passenger seat, “Besides, I didn’t feel like waiting around all night.”

“Thank you, Kate.” Jo took the DI’s hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, “For everything.”

“You really need to stop thanking me for everything. Give yourself some credit, Jo.”

“Let’s not go there just yet.” Jo unlocked the car door, becoming Kate to follow.

The DI knew Joanne still had problems with her role in their relationship. She believed that everything she did was selfish and wrong, refusing to see the good aspects like when they got drinks together or walked back to Kate’s drunk and free. Free from AC-12 and the worries of life outside and inside of work. When they walked hand-in-hand, looking at the moon whilst convincing themselves this was a totally platonic thing. Jo was yet to know that she helped Kate discover who she truly was and where she belonged.

Unlocking the little red door, Jo’s mind started to buzz. What colour would the walls be? Where would the kitchen go? Is the wall big enough for a tapestry?

“It’s a tad… plain,” Kate commented.

“That’s the point!” Jo enthusiastically hugged the DI, “We get to choose how to live. For once, we are in control.”

Witnessing Jo so excited made Kate’s heart flutter. Consumed by euphoria, Kate picked up her lover and spun her around in their new living room, their laughter bouncing off the walls and filling the space.

The pair ended by facing each other, breathing heavily through bubbles of laughter.

“What colour should the kitchen be?”

“Green,” Jo tucked a strand of hair behind Kate’s ear, “With a gold tint.”

Kate smiled at Jo’s newfound confidence, “Sound good, boss. Ever thought of getting a dog?”

“Please, Kate,” Jo became solemn, “You don’t need to call me boss anymore.”

Kate took her hand, “But, I thought that was our thing? If you want me to stop, I will.”

Jo inhaled deeply. There are certain things she didn’t want to address, especially after the moment they just experienced. That being said, Joanne Davidson knew the key to any healthy relationship was communication.

“Can we just start again?” Jo fiddled with her fingers, something she always did when anxious, “I don’t want to remember what I put you through or the pain you faced because of my mistakes.”

“I’m sorry, Jo, but I don’t want to start again.” Kate touched the older woman’s shoulder, “Those experiences, they make us who we are; it’s why we’re so close. The universal experience we share with AC-12 and the OCG: it’s us, and I don��t want to forget that.”

Witnessing the walls of Jo’s mental castle crumbling, Kate continued.

“You made mistakes, we all do. It’s what makes us human. We learn from them, adapt, overcome, and that isn’t anything to be ashamed of. Even if forgetting was possible, we can’t pick and choose to get rid of the bad and keep the good. You must find good in the experience. To me, that good is you, Jo.”

Jo buried her head into the crook of Kate’s neck, “I don’t deserve you.”

“I could say the same.”

The pair stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Jo cried it out into Kate’s chest, gripping her shirt as the DI whispered honest words of comfort.

☁️ ------------------- ☁️

After adjusting to their new life, the couple decided to take that exciting yet predictable step and get a dog. It was something Kate Fleming had wanted to do for a long time, and Jo was in no place to stop her. The agreement was that if Jo designed the house, Kate could design the dog… or something as such.

After rolling down the windows, taking many wrong turns and singing Taylor Swift at the top of their lungs, the couple eventually reached the pet shelter.

They held hands as they walked through the kennels.

“What are you looking for, Kate?”

The DI hesitated, spoilt for choice, “Something with personality and spirit.”

“Sounds like a tough one-”

“Christ, what the hell is that!” Kate abruptly pulled away, running over to one of the kennels, “It’s some sort of hairless rat.”

Jo tried her best not to laugh at her girlfriend’s antics, “Kate, you can’t just say that. You’ll hurt its feelings!”

The DI kneeled over in a fit of laughter as the hairless rat-dog chirped towards them, and this time it was Jo’s turn to laugh at the little dog as it spun sporadically in circles.

“Look at the tufts of hair poking from its chin!” Kate mocked before focusing her attention elsewhere, “What have you seen?”

Jo wordlessly pointed to the kennel housing a golden labrador. His eyes were kind and gentle, and he greeted them with a waggy tail. Both women crouched by the glass, Kate resting a hand on Jo’s shoulder for support as the former DCI pressed the palm of her hand against the kennel bars. The dog was cautious at first but started licking Jo’s palm delicately.

“He reminds me of myself,” Jo murmured, and Kate wanted her to continue. The DI never expected Jo to relate to a dog. A hawk maybe but never a dog, “In prison, I mean.”

“He reminds me more of Steve; look at his mug.” The quip Kate made to lighten the mood worked, and soon the couple had signed the papers and were driving back home to Taylor Swift, Steve the dog accompanying them in the back seat.

Jo’s first rule was that Steve wasn’t allowed on the bed. The second was that he couldn’t chew anything of value in the house. Unfortunately for Jo, Steve and Kate ignored both of them.

It started when Kate heard Steve crying in his bed, so she naturally felt sorry for the animal and brought him upstairs to sleep with the couple. All was going well until Steve the dog slotted himself between the pair, separating them for the entire night.

“Come on, mate,” Kate whispered as she pulled the dog back, “I’ve spent enough time without her already.”

After about 10 minutes of trying to move the labrador, Joanne Davidson’s tired voice muffled into the pillow: “I told you the dog shouldn’t be allowed on the bed, Kate.” The DI knew Jo was smirking from how she said her name and decided to get her own back. She refused to spend any more nights without Jo wrapped in her arms.

Climbing past Steve the dog and over the blankets, Kate adjusted herself in the darkness, so she was lying comfortably on Jo’s back. Rolling her eyes, Jo shuffled upwards, letting the DI snake her hands around her waist and cushion her head in Jo’s neck. Jo seriously considered letting Steve sleep on the bed every night.

☁️ ------------------- ☁️

With no recent actions from the OCG, AC-12 gave Kate the go-ahead to release details of her and Jo’s location to 2 people maximum. It wasn’t a debate. Fleming approved Steve and Ted in a heartbeat, making sure they knew the pans for Christmas eve.

Jo Davidson had never spent Christmas with someone before, never mind someone she loved. Even with Freida, Jo had been alone, never fully able to relax or enjoy the rainbow lights and festive music, but as she sat snuggled in front of the wood burner with Kate, she was entirely able to absorb the atmosphere:

Their Christmas tree in the corner, Steve the dog chewing a candy cane, stockings over the fireplace, the unfinished gingerbread house on the kitchen counter, Christmas music outlining the walls and being curled up in the arms of the love of her life as she breathed gently on her neck whilst reading a book.

“I know you’re unsure about the L-word….” Jo trailed off, once again twiddling her fingers.

Kate kissed her cheek, “Lesbian?”

The former DCI wanted to be as honest as possible, “You know what word I mean, Kate. And I know it scares you.” A beat, “You are in no position to say it back, but I need to tell you that I love you, Kate.”

Kate reassuringly rubbed Jo’s side.

“You love me?”

At that moment, Jo felt a wave of embarrassment overtake her. She felt like a child in a playground handing their crush a dandelion. The former DCI tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and nodded shyly.

“You mean a lot to me, Jo,” Kate admitted with a smile. She had been brainstorming how to say the L-word without actually having to say it, “More than most people and you need to know, you’re the most important person in my life.”

Content with the answer, Jo snuggled into her lover’s side, drifting away to the sound of carol singers and church bells.

Forgetting to send Steve and Ted a text not to ring the bell, she was thankful to see them (mainly Steve) making ‘lovey dovey’ faces through the window. Kate rolled her eyes at her friends’ antics, cautiously prying herself away from the smaller woman and opening the door, pressing a finger to her lips.

“We didn’t mean to wake you,” Ted said sincerely, placing the bag of Christmas presents on the table.

“Oh, it’s fine,” Kate admitted, “It was mainly Jo anyway, her nightmares are on and off, and last night wasn’t the greatest. But you-” She turned to Steve,

“Finally got the girl I see?” Her best friend greeted her with a witty remark and a hug.

Ted peered into the couple’s living room where Jo slept to admire their tree.

“No star?” He questioned.

Kate assessed Steve’s Christmas eve takeaway, “Jo said her mum had a tradition where they put the star up on Christmas day. I figured we’d keep it alive.”

“You should go wake her, mate. God knows how she’ll react to someone in her house. Nevermind us of all people.” Steve mentioned, not wanting to make a bad impression.

“Just don’t break anything.” Kate quipped.

Steve the dog and Steve the person got along surprisingly well, and when not being interviewed about the OCG, Jo and Ted actually had a lot in common. All four shared Steve’s Christmas eve takeaway whilst watching ‘Love Actually’ and, much to Kate’s dismay, started on her trifle during ‘A Muppets Christmas Carol’. The night ended with an excitable game of charades in which Steve and Jo had to act out Scooby and Shaggy - Steve gave Jo a piggyback around the cottage, both adults screaming with glee as they paraded around.

To be honest, Jo didn’t have high hopes of keeping a relationship with Ted and Steve, especially after Operation lighthouse. It was unfortunate because Kate cared so much about them, and despite not knowing them, it automatically made Jo care about them too.

Christmas day passed too quickly. They started by opening presents. Kate got Ted a ‘Worlds Best Dad’ mug, and Steve bought him a customised top saying: ‘Not H’.

As well as last night’s takeaway, Steve bought Kate a sign he stole from AC-12 whilst drunk (don’t ask how he didn’t get caught) and an Alexa. Kate went for a more classy option: a framed photo of them wasted at a karaoke bar.

Finally, it was Jo’s turn. Due to Kate’s last-minute planning, the former DCI had no chance to buy Ted or Steve anything, but they didn’t mind; they hadn’t formed enough of a bond yet. However, Kate insisted she presented her present first. The DI could hear her heart thumping in her ears as she handed Jo the small jewellery box containing 2 necklaces, each with a personalised pendant: a small silver gun, the other a golden car. Jo admired them with adoration; every detail had been etched into the metal, even the make of Steve’s getaway vehicle.

“A matching set?”

“To remind us of how far we’ve come.”

Jo wasn’t sure how her present could top Kate’s but proceeded with the gift-giving. It was a weighted blanket, a set of bond touch bracelets for when Kate went back to work and a cute little photo book personalised with added newspaper clippings, annotations, dates and locations relating to their relationship.

Jo’s act of love deeply touched Kate’s heart. A series of small yet meaningful presents was definitely her speed, and Kate couldn’t stop herself from flicking through the photobook and admiring all the small details like her favourite colour, preferred flowers and location coordinates which Jo had marked in.

“It’s adorable. Thank you, Jo.”

Jo simply nodded as she sat in Kate’s lap, fiddling with the silver gun around her neck. Kate Fleming had the car, of course.

Unable to move after the Christmas dinner, the group spent the rest of Christmas relishing each others company. Jo and Kate started by carelessly putting up the star, the former DCI needing a lift from her girlfriend to reach the top of the tree. Human Steve was with dog Steve, Ted had a cuppa and a newspaper, commenting on various political events, occasionally uttering a ‘mother of god’ making Kate, who was now squashed under Jo Davidson, chuckle.

That was the first Christmas where Jo had properly smiled.

☁️ ------------------- ☁️

Kate Fleming had been married once, and it was a disaster. Let’s just say she wasn’t ready for it. She had too many regrets, doubts and problems in her own head. That marriage put her off love for a while. Not only that, but the universal experience of being heartbroken was enough to make her want to stay single forever. That was the plan until Joanne Davidson arrived. Jo Davidson helped Kate discover who she was and become comfortable with her sexuality. The woman who helped her embrace the demons, who humbled her whilst building her up and never tore her down.

The DI was on the fence about her feelings until she almost lost Jo at the shootout with Ryan Pilkinton. On that night was when Kate decided to take Jo and run, the city wasn’t safe, and the pair wanted out. Unfortunately, the plan didn’t work.

That’s why Kate was standing by the door, ring in pocket, dog lead in hand, ready to propose to the woman she loved.

“Ready to go?” Greeted the Scottish accent she loved so dearly.

“I’m the one waiting for you, boss.” Jo lovingly ruffled the DI’s hair as she stepped out of their cottage, taking a freeing breath of air; she grinned when Steve bounded behind her and Kate linked their arms.

It was autumn again. The couple proceeded to the nearby hill path, through the arching oak trees, across the wooden bridge kate thought how nice it was to see Jo free from all those layers she used to wear at work. The former DCI swished her legs through the sea of leaves, and Kate did the same, both women snickering like toddlers when they flew up in her face.

Kate knew Jo would want something intimate and private rather than exotic and loud, so she planned to propose at the top of the hill which overlooked the city. Kate had timed the walk perfectly so the sun would set, and she could properly see the golden tones reflecting on her lover’s face.

Finally reaching the top of the hill, Kate admired how perfect Davidson looked as she gazed contently at the sunset, contrasting against the flushed sky. Steve the dog sniffing around for squirrels Kate realised they had the perfect family.

“Jo?” Kate looked calm, but inside, she was terrified of rejection, “Forgive me for not saying this earlier; I just didn’t know how to word it.”

Aware that she had Jo’s full attention, she swallowed the nonexistent doubt and continued.

“I love you. I love how sweet you are with kids. I love how you get sleepy when it rains. I love how you fiddle with your fingers when nervous. I love how you’re obsessed with skittles but only the yellow ones. I love how you turn your head into my hand when I play with your hair. I love how insanely ticklish you are. I love how you adore being the little spoon, even if you won’t admit it for anything. I love how you drive so. So carefully when someone else is in the car. I love how you can’t pass a field of cows without saying ‘cows’. I love how you hug every dog you see. I love how you scrunch up your nose when you feel like you’re going to sneeze.”

Kate knelt down on one knee.

“I love your fear of fireworks. I love how cuddly you are when you’re tired. I love all of that and everything else too, and I could keep going all day with listing all the millions of things that make you Jo. I love you, Joanne Davidson, and I am always going to love you.”

She pulled the box from her pocket, presenting it to her lover.

“Joanne Davidson, will you marry me?”

Jo looked starstruck, but after what seemed like hours, she shook her head. Kate went numb, her face fell, and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The DI didn’t even feel Jo take the box from her hands’ nevermind see Jo taking a knee.

“You seem to be giving all the speeches lately.”

The Scottish accent pulled kate out of her daze, and the taller woman tenderly gasped at the sight of Jo Davidson, down on one knee and offering her a ring.

“I don’t think you realise the impact you’ve had on my life, Kate. You saved me. Not just from the OCG but from myself, and I don’t know how to ever thank you for that. Through the time we’ve known each other, you’ve been my knight in shining armour. You stormed the tower-like Flynn Ryder when Rapunzel needed help, risked your job just to get us out of the city. You intercepted the transport vehicle, and without you, I wouldn’t be here today.”

Jo couldn’t contain her grin as she witnessed Kate's reaction.

“The only time is smile is when I’m with you, Kate. I can be myself around you, and I’ve never been more thankful to have someone in my life. When we first arrived, you told me that we shouldn’t start again because our story makes us who we are. I’m ashamed it took me so long to realise this. We’re here today because we made choices we can’t change, and even though it’s broken me and built me back up, there’s no one else I’d rather go on this journey with. You, me and Steve, of course.”

Kate felt like she was on top of the world and the following sentence was everything she wanted to hear and more.

“Please, Kate Fleming. Will you marry me?”

Obviously, Kate said yes.

☁️ that ending honestly makes me feel sick so I wrote my own. I'm glad Jo found happiness - she deserved it. but we all know it should've been with Kate. thank you for reading bestie x 😔 ☁️

#flemson #joanne davidson #jo davidson #kate fleming #katherine fleming #jo x kate #jo davidson x kate fleming #line of duty #line of duty season 6 #alternate ending #line of duty flemson #flemson ending #line of duty alternate ending #kelly macdonald #vicky mcclure #ted hastings #steve arnott #bbc

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petri808 · 3 years

Text

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33-Epilogue

— I just wanna say thank you so much to everyone who followed along, your comments and suggestions along the way really helped to bring this story to life! It’s my longest fic to date, and to think it started as a one-shot for nalu day 2020 lol. YOU GUYS HELPED MAKE THIS HAPPEN! 🥳🥰🥰 ILY YOU ALL!💜💜💜💜

@mcornilliac special shout out for you help with the toughest part 😘

Even after all these years, riding on a train still brought a small flutter to Lucy’s stomach as she remembered the long ago evening when she’d met her husband. From an innocent meeting to a death defying experience, talk about a roller coaster ride. And yet, if she had to do it all over again, Lucy wouldn’t change a thing. Crazy sounding yes, for why would anyone not want to avoid what she’d gone through? Touka had truly pushed her sanity to the breaking point, but well, the therapist was right in the end and Lucy felt almost invincible now. All that pain, all the struggle she’d pushed through had made her the strong and resilient woman she was today. Happily married to Natsu with their fraternal twins Nashi and Ryuu. Mrs. Natsu Dragneel, Lucy smiled to herself, there was no way she’d change a thing.

Of course, it hadn’t been easy. After Natsu proposed and Lucy had accepted, there were still a lot of work to be done. But that measure of acceptance and affection did wonders. Any worries she’d had that he wouldn’t want a broken woman melted away and gave her the confidence to get better. With each passing therapy session, her strength grew, and by the time they graduated college, Lucy could honestly say she’d been cured to a functional degree. No longer struggling through nightmares and panic attacks, her anxieties were under control and the debilitating depression a distant memory where it belonged.

Yeah... Lucy sighed happily as she watched the landscape pass by from her train seat. Meeting Natsu was the best thing to ever happen in her life, well, aside from the kids. They’d married about a year after graduation on the anniversary of their meeting. It was a beautiful affair at an indoor venue, with close friends and family to join them. They’d gone a more modern route for the ceremony but did take pictures at a garden dressed in the traditional attire for sentimental reasons. Lucy wore the shiromuku white kimono while Natsu a montsuki haori hakama. And no, it wasn’t train themed! Levy was the Maid of Honor and Gray was the best man. By then, Levy and Gajeel were also married and Gray in a serious relationship with a girl named Juvia Lockser. Lucy was so happy for them both. All of their lives were moving in the right direction.

Everything was perfect. Great jobs in their fields of interest, lives settled into a comfortable routine, when 5 years later Lucy was pregnant with fraternal twins. It was a total surprise since twins didn’t run in either of their families. Always the jovial optimist, Natsu joked that they’d been doubly blessed because of what they’d gone through, and Lucy couldn’t help but love such a concept. Of course, once the euphoria of the motherhood prospect waned, reality set in that she was having twins! Two! Double the babies meant double of everything, from the pregnancy concerns to raising them. Growing up without a mother and as an only child, Lucy didn’t have a lot of experience with small children. But Natsu patiently assured her, that she’d do just fine. Think of it as a new challenge, and after overcoming one pretty tough situation, this would be a walk in the park. On the bright side, Levy was also pregnant with the couple’s first child so the two best friend’s kids would grow up together.

And Natsu was right, there were a few bumps in the road but nothing too difficult. During her fourth month Lucy was diagnosed with gestational diabetes as well as some minor gastrointestinal issues, so Natsu swayed the doctor to put her on bed rest. Better safe than sorry. The babies were healthy, but by the 7th month, she really couldn’t move much, and she was miserable being stuck at home all the time. Lucy missed her job because she genuinely enjoyed working for the magazine. But in the end, it had been a good thing. She could manage her health easier that way and it gave her time to do something she’d thought about doing as part of the healing process. With Natsu’s support and permission, it was time to put her writing skills to good use and write a book about their experience.

It became an instant hit, especially with female readers. The book was not only an autobiographical reflection of what had happened to them but focused on shining a light on the dangers of stalkers, as well as the importance of taking the warning signs seriously. Lucy didn’t hold back in her re-telling, even pointing out the serious flaws in Japan’s laws in protecting citizens from stalkers which at the time were nonexistent. Feminist organizations working to change those laws used her story with permission for their cause. She had no intentions of becoming a poster child for the movement, but in the end her role may have played its part, because 2 years after the publishing, Japan finally adopted anti-stalking laws making it easier for police to string together harassment cases, as well as for victims to get the help they needed.

Her life was nothing but exciting to say the least! And with two young children, now age 10 certainly kept them on their toes. Their daughter Nashi was just like Natsu, very outgoing, friendly, but a bit of a daredevil while her brother Ryuu born 4 minutes after her was the quieter of the two. He preferred books like his mother to adventure. Of course, that never stopped Nashi from dragging him into shenanigans! But the best part was how close they still were and fiercely protective of each other. Lucy and Natsu couldn’t be prouder of them and hoped this would continue throughout their lifetimes.

Fifteen years... come to think of it, their wedding anniversary was coming up shortly. With Natsu now a senior fire inspector for the Tokyo prefectural government, he was often busy. Lucy did mind it, because frankly it gave her some peace and quiet. She chuckled at the thought. Not that it was all that peaceful with the twins. But she digressed. His success meant their lives were very comfortable, and her own journalism successes while not as financially based, were still celebrated in their relationship. Natsu never waned in being the dutiful and supportive, always loving husband that Lucy felt blessed to grow old with.

‘Two more stops, pick up the kids from school, stop at the grocery store for dinner...’ Lucy tapped out on her phone a to-do list of ingredients to pick up at the store. Perhaps katsudon... ‘Mmm, or maybe nabe,’ hot-pot soup since it was expected to be a bit chilly that evening.

Lucy looked up briefly, really just spacing out in thought when someone catches her eye. At the other end of the train car, she noticed a woman facing slightly away, but enough to where she couldn’t quite see a face. It couldn’t be... Lucy looked away not wanting to stare, but somehow... for some reason the woman was awfully familiar... looking exactly like Touka. Well, not exactly, but enough to make the hair on the back of her neck stand up. It was a blonde, with a different hair style— and that could always be changed. Similar body type, the facial side-profile features that Lucy could see resembled Touka...

Now despite being better, her anxieties still bubbled up from time to time, so she immediately switched to her coping techniques to calm them down. ‘You’re fine,’ Lucy talked herself through it, ‘no point in getting riled up.’ The woman hadn’t done so much as looked in her direction, so it must be okay. Contrary to popular belief, things like depression and anxiety never fully goes away, especially when someone has experienced a severe level of it. Those emotions and irrational thoughts are forever programmed into the brain, but there are ways to keep them at bay and Lucy’s successfully done just that for 15 years.

‘Just go back to what you were doing. Katsudon or nabe? And don’t forget you need to pick up milk...’ But, fifteen years... could Touka have been released by now? Lucy shook the thought away again. ‘Stop it! Everything is fine. It’s not her!’ The train was semi-full of passengers all minding their own business... including the woman. There was no reason to start panicking now. Lucy adjusts her position on her seat away from the woman’s direction. If she couldn’t see her, she could pretend she didn’t exist. ‘Maybe I should pick up ingredients for both, that way I don’t have to shop tomorrow.’ Lucy thought to herself, and with the kids with her, they could help in carrying the shopping bags. ‘Yeah, we’ve got a plan…’

After figuring out her shopping list, Lucy pulled up social media to keep herself distracted and for a few minutes it did the trick. Silly videos of entertainers never got old. The train reached the next stop and she felt it come to a stop. Since it wasn’t hers, she didn’t pay it any mind as she scrolled through her feed. But as the disembarking passengers funnel past Lucy, her eyes pick up on a pair of pink high-heels peeking from over the edge of her phone. Her body instantly stiffened up from the similarity to the ones worn by the woman, while her curiosity slowly got the better of her. ‘Breath, act nonchalant!’ Lucy’s eyes tracked the high-heels moving past her until they left her periphery. She then slowly sat back up, pretending to readjust her position, when she caught a pair of eyes looking back. Lucy’s breathing hitches with a shaky exhale. “Oh, my god—"

Standing at the doorway with one hand on the frame, the blonde woman smiled at Lucy then winked before stepping off the train.

It was Touka!

#nalu #nalu au #nalu fan fiction #nalu fan fic #natsu dragneel #Lucy heartfilia #Natsu x lucy #fairy tail #strangers on a train #epilogue #petri808

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thirstystarkey · 4 years

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HATE CAN SOUND LIKE LOVE • JJ MAYBANK

Summary: JJ and Y/N have always fought, since everyone can remember. They both have short tempers and a endless love for surf and chaos. But what happens when they have to pretend to be a couple? Well.. people always said that hate can sound like love sometimes.

Warnings: Mention of underage drinking, drugs, minor violence, some smutty scenarios and a ton of sexual induendos, JJ being a hot idiot and Y/N a wild girl brat

CHAPTER 21

As the boat JJ borrowed to surprise Y/N pierce through the waves, the sun started to go sun painting the sky in beautiful shades of pink and orange. Y/N loved watching the sunset and JJ made sure to get them as far as possible to enjoy a nice evening.

“This is so beautiful.” Y/N said mesmerized as JJ sat beside her. He anchored the boat before hand.

The hot weather of summer blessed them with a pleasant warm day, Y/N wore a flowy yellow sundress and JJ had his usual attire that consisted of a random tshirt and his shorts along with his black boots. Fingers adorn with rings and his bandana tied up on his wrist. He looked more beautiful than normal to Y/N.

“The sky ain’t got none on you.” JJ said teasingly brushing her hair behind her ear.

“Oh god, stop Maybank.” Y/N laughed hiding her face as her cheeks turned bright red.

“I made the famous Y/N blush once more.” JJ said loudly like he was talking for others to ear but there was no one around, beside some animals. “I’m the king of the world.” He imitated Jack Dawson breaking into a raspy laugh.

“You are an idiot JJ Maybank.” Y/N looked at him through her arm, with a smile mocking him.

“You still like me, admit it.” JJ arched one brow in a suggestive manner.

“I mean... On good days, you can be tolerable.” She mocked the blond boy pushing his shoulder.

“And on the bad days?” He teased her getting closer to her, his breath hitting her skin.

“I either want to kill you.” She whispered straightening her back. “Or I want to fucking throw you of the boat.” Y/N mocked JJ realizing I was expecting a different answer.

“Am in danger right now?” The blond boy asked.

“Why are you afraid of getting wet?” Y/N sassed.

“Totally not, are you baby?” JJ pulled her into him, whispering in her ear.

“Never.” She answered under her breath due to the sudden movement.

“Good.” JJ smiles against her neck.

It all happened too fast for Y/N to process but when she took notice she was grinding her hips against JJ’s, in his lap while his hands tightly held her against him by her thighs. His rough digits against her soft flesh made her head spin with euphoria, being this close to him and feeling his whole body pressed against her created a itch only JJ could scratch.

But once his hands moved through the inside of her dress until they reached her waist Y/N froze in place, she knew what she was about to do and deep inside her even though she wanted it, it also scared her. Y/N pulled away from his lips and stared into his dilated pupils full of lust darkening the beautiful shade of light blue he had normally.

“Did I do something wrong?” JJ asked suddenly insecure.

“No JJ, it’s not you.” She looked down trying to find the correct words for her feelings.

“What it is?” He asked again, removing his hands from her skin readjusting her dress in place before carressing her face. “I’m sorry, we don’t need to do this if you think we’re moving to fast.” He cupped her chin sweetly.

“I want to. I really want to.” Y/N whispered softly with a sign getting ready to speak her mind. “It’s just that... I don’t want you to see me for what I am and run away after.” Y/N said looking into his eyes, seeing JJ’s expression change. He wasn’t really used to affection but with her it felt different. He didn’t want to hide anymore.

“I won’t ever run away from you Y/N.” His voice turned soft as he kept on carressing her face. “I mean it.” He reassured once he notice her insecure feelings. “I’m the one who should be afraid of you running away, I’m a big chaotic mess.”

“We are all big chaotic messes, see where we live JJ.” She laughed softly.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” JJ confessed against her lips.

“Neither would I.” She whispered back, kissing him softly.

Y/N pushed his shoulders back, making JJ fall softly against the mountain of blankets underneath them before she, in a moment of braveness, decided to take her dress of tossing it beside them, JJ’s mouth fell open watching her as he quickly sat back up colliding their bodies again. His lips roughly kissed hers making her mouth open slightly his he took the opportunity to brush his tongue against her, making Y/N moan at the feeling.

“Are you sure?” He questioned, kissing a trail of soft kissed down her neck to her shoulder while his hands traveled up her spin to her bra.

“Yes, please JJ.” Y/N whined. “I need you.” She admitted.

He was surprisingly fast to get rid of his clothes, picking her up off the ground and in a mess of limbs he managed to get her into the suite of the boat. It was simple but did the job. JJ had previously lit a few candles around the room and once Y/N saw them she smiled against his skin, kissing his neck with a smirk on her face.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to do this.” JJ said once he was on top of her.

“How many?” Y/N bit her lip pulling him down by his shark tooth necklace.

“Too many.” He admitted pulling her leg up his waist. “Every time you acted like a fucking brat.” He said against her skin. “I wanted to wrap my hand your neck.”

“Fuck.” Y/N moaned feeling his fingers tease her. “You can do it now.” She teasingly suggested.

“So good for me.” He whined pushing one finger inside her while his free hand moved up her body, wrapping it softly at first against her throat.

“Harder, please.” Y/N begged arching her back in the mattress.

JJ tighten his grip against her skin as he kept on moving his finger inside her easily due to her wetness, his thumb brushed softly against her clit in circular patterns that made her blood boil in ecstasy, she could feel how close she was to coming undone underneath him since her moans escaped through her lips easily.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum.” She moaned loudly feeling herself clench around his finger.

He kept moving as he whispered sweet nothings in her ear helping her ride her orgasm. When he removed his hand from her he licked his finger clean with a burning gaze on her that made Y/N moan at the sight.

“You taste so good sugar.” JJ said making her cheeks turn red with the compliment.

“Fuck me already.” Y/N begged wrapping her legs against his hips pulling him lower on her.

“Your wishes are my commands princess.” He winked at her with a soft laugh.

Their bodies connected in an euphoric electric rush, both feeling a strange relief as they been waiting for this very moment for the longest time. Both Y/N and JJ moaned and whimper as they tried to get a good grasp of the other, like they couldn’t get enough. She wanted JJ as close as possible to her and he did the same, grabbing her skin to pull her as close as possible.

“You’re so fucking tight, you’re taking me so so well. Fuck baby.” JJ rambled lost in pleasure as he felt her clenching tighter around his cock.

“I’m so fucking close JJ.” She mewled under him, crying out once he begin to tease her clit. The overstimulation becoming overwhelming.

“Let it go, cum princess.” He begged moaning, feeling his own realise dangerously close.

“Cum inside me JJ.” Y/N bluntly begged while she came, arching her back off the mattress.

“Y/N-” JJ whined with his hand over her throat, feeling his thrusts slow down to a sloppy pace.

“Please JJ.” She clawed down his back harshly. “I need to feel you.” Y/N moaned loudly. “I need you.” She cried out.

Looking down at her, seeing her mouth open, her lips red swollen, seeing her so fucked out was enough to send him over the edge, cumming deep inside her.

“Fuck.” He whispered hotly on her ear after pressing his sweaty body against hers. Y/N moved her hand up and down his body in a loving manner as he moved her hair off her face.

They stayed like that for a few minutes before JJ pulled out making her whimper in discomfort due to the sudden feeling of emptiness, he cooed her carressing her skin before he pulled her against him, embracing her.

“Let me grab a towel to clean you up.” He kissed her temple before he got up, dressing back his black boxers in the process, giving Y/N a perfect view of his back.

Once he came back and finished cleaning her JJ handed her his discarded tshirt to dress. He laid down next to her, pulling the sheets over them. Y/N cuddled tightly agains him, with her head on his chest, quickly starting to doze off in a sleepy state as JJ kept on playing with her hair kissing the top of her head a few times.

Tag list 💞

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emiewritesthings · 4 years

Text

locked down with you (1)- jay halstead

jay halstead x fem!reader

summary: a series of scenarios between y/n and jay whilst they quarantine together

requested?: nope but requests are open :)

warnings: language but basically just fluff

a/n: still being in lockdown has made me think about what it would be like to be living with jay during these times. the following is just a strange combinations of scenarios i have thought about. not sure i how i feel about them :/

masterlist

day 1 of lockdown

“is that the last box?” jay called out as he reappeared from his room with a sweaty brow and a large smile on his face. he wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to seeing your clothes hung up beside his own in his wardrobe, or your shows lined up beside his by the door. it was strange, but it felt... natural.

“i think so, wow is it sad that my whole life can be packed up into 5 boxes?” y/n asked, collapsing onto the sofa breathing out heavily. jay let out a small chuckle, before he joined her, melting into the cushions that supported their bodies.

“well that’s not true, that was just your clothes, you still have an entire apartment of things waiting for you back home.” he corrected, with a smug smile pointed. the pad of it flicking her nose, making a childish giggle escape her parted lips. “but who knows by the end of this thing you might need to bring those over too.” jay hummed, leaning closer to her with lustful eyes. in a matter of seconds, his lips pressed lazy kisses against her neck, the sensation taking y/n’s body to a new level of euphoria

“just give it a week, halstead. you will be so sick of me you will have to kick me out.” she challenged, watching as he pulled his lips away from her skin for a moment. allowing their foreheads to rest against one another, eyes both equalling challenging the other to make the next mood. in a moment of weakness, it had been y/n to lean forward, igniting the warmth in their chest.

“if anything, i don’t think i will be able to let you go.” his breaths were rugged, only parting to say the last few words before he reconnected their lips. his hands respectfully running over her body, admiring the way it curved and held its unique shape.

he sure could get used to this.

day 3 of lockdown

“jay!” y/n whined impatiently as she threw her head back to demonstrate just how tired she was becoming. a strange ache running up her spine from the position she was currently sat in. her back arched as she rested against the arm of the sofa. her fingers pinching a pencil as she looked between her sketchpad and the angelic man sat a few centimetres away. “i thought i told you not to move.”

jay’s eyes narrowed in confusion, as he looked up from the pile of paperwork he had to complete by the end of the day. seeing his girlfriend sat in a large hoodie that she had stolen from their wardrobe and a pair of shorts, a look of boredom and frustration etched on her features, he had to question what the hell was going on.

“what are you talking about?” jay asked, in all honesty, he had been so focused on his work that he had tuned the woman out. from the look of art supplies spread over the floor, he could only assume she was occupying her day off with fulfilling her craving to be artistic.

“you know what, it doesn’t even matter anymore,” she sighed, closing up the book in her hands. “it was stupid anyway.” she muffled into the sleeve of her sweater, attempting to walk out of the living room towards the kitchen, a place she had labelled her ‘happy place’ from the moment she stepped into the apartment. slight guilt seeped into jay’s mind as he pushed himself away from the sofa cushions and wrapped her up in his bulky, warm arms.

“i’m sorry.” he apologised, arms trapping her in what only could be described as a bear hug. from her small frame, jay managed to rest his chin on the top of her head, until he brought his face down to kiss her cheek softly. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry.” he repeated between each.

y/n felt her mood slightly, reminding herself of the effect the man had on her. she felt like mush in his hands that he was able to sculpt in whatever way he wanted and she had no objections.

“now what do we have here?” he spoke more to himself as he took the sketchpad from her hands, his fingers playing with the edge of the pages until he stopped on a page with a rather large sketch. the pencil lines were faint, but it didn’t take jay a moment to recognise the large image illustrated on the page. “holy shit, y/n.”

feeling her cheeks heat up, she tried to hide her face with her sleeves. she didn’t like to share her work with anyone, with fear that she would be laughed out of the room. but listening to jay’s taken aback tone made the butterflies in her stomach jump without any consideration for y/n’s wellbeing.

“i know it’s not the best, but-.” she attempted to denounce her clear display of talent by breaking out the embrace, but jay only held onto her tighter. using what control he had to turn her around to face him. he had placed the sketch on the coffee table, so he could focus fully on the beautiful woman standing in front of him.

“it’s amazing,” jay assured, his gaze diving deep into the soul present behind the beautiful colours of y/n’s eyes. “you are amazing, i’m sorry i’m so busy.” y/n didn’t need an apology. she knew that jay’s job was much more demanding than her own. it just seemed being forced to do nothing didn’t feel as good as when she chose to do nothing before any of this quarantine business was mentioned.

“do you want some help?” she offered, not wanting to intrude. her teeth brought in her bottom lip to bite in anticipation worried she had crossed the line. jay’s hand reached up to rest on the side of her face, his thumb resting on her chin as he brought it down to rescue her lip.

“you are the best, you know that?”

“ugh, come on, romeo.”

day 9 of lockdown

“okay-.” y/n began as she entered the bedroom, her body wrapped in a towel and her hair leaving water droplets behind her. it was sometime in the late afternoon and jay was laying on their bed. his attention had been caught by a book y/n had brought, but it had been stolen when she had entered the room.

“i don’t know what you’re about to say but i know it’s going to be a bad idea.” jay discouraged, he knew her. he knew her more than anyone else in this world. the way her voice had raised slightly at the end and she was currently avoiding eye contact with the detective, telling him that she was about to make to offer a foolish plan.

“no fair, you have to at least hear me out!” she whined like a child, searching around for her bras that were normally flung in different directions, thanks to a little too happy detective. jay watched her with a loving grin, she made him feel so alive.

“okay, proceed.” he gestured as though he was king of the castle ordering his servants around. flicking her middle finger up at the man, disappearing into the bathroom once again, but her voice could still be made out.

“i want to dye my hair!” jay couldn’t see her face, but he could imagine the little hop she had done in excitement at telling him about her idea. “or maybe shave my head, you know, since lockdown could go on for the rest of the year, it’s not like anyone will see it.”

letting out a deep chuckle, he waited until she reappeared to respond. her body, cladded in sweats (for once ones that belonged to her), collapsed down beside him. curling into the side of his body. she stared up at him dazedly, trying to read the thoughts behind his eyes.

“it’s your body, your choice,” he shrugged, his right hand coming to his side so he could grab ahold of her own. when interlocking their fingers, he made sure to run his thumb over her knuckles comforting. “i don’t care if you shaved off all your hair and your eyebrows whilst wearing a potato sack, you will always be beautiful to me.”

“i love you.” she hummed, leaning up to kiss his lips.

“i love you too.”

day 16 of lockdown

“y/n hurry up it’s on!” y/n heard as she grabbed a few beers from the fridge. as she reached the living room, she grinned at the sight of kevin, kim, adam, will, natalie on the computer screen.

“hey guys!” she squealed, giving jay a beer before putting the rest on the coffee table that the computer currently rested on.

“oh shit, now i owe kevin 10 bucks.” adam whined, his image slightly pixelated from his poor connection. frowning, y/n looked towards jay that was equally as confused. they then turned their gaze towards kevin, who wore a large smug smirk.

“ruzek here betted me 10 bucks that you two would have killed one another by day 14.” y/n let out a snort of laughter, throwing her head back in amusement. of course, kevin had bet in their corner, had it not been for him, jay and y/n wouldn’t have been together in the first place.

“honestly i wouldn’t have blamed you, y/n,” will spoke up, “it takes a saint to deal with jay’s slobbiness. i think i have only ever seen jay clean his room twice, mom always took pity on him.” will chuckled, making jay cower in embarrassment. y/n had seen first-hand jay’s ability to create a mess in a matter of minutes. a stray sock here, an empty pizza box there. before she knew it, they were eligible for Hoarders USA.

“shut up, will, are we starting this quiz or what?” jay changed the subject, trying to get over the embarrassment of being laughed at by their closest friends. in an attempt to cool him down, y/n hooked her pinky around his. offering him a soft smile when he looked up in her direction.

“hope you guys are ready to lose.” she teased, turning back to face the screen. jay watched the way she acted so freely, a kind smile never slipping from her face, her touch soothing his soul. at that moment he couldn’t help but think ‘this will be the woman i marry’

day 34 of lockdown

“-alright, alright i think he’s on his way. i’ll see you later.” y/n rushed out as she jumped off her position sat on the edge of the bed. her heartbeat was thumping against her chest as she shoved her phone back into her pocket, aware the sound of water had fallen silent.

it was jay’s birthday and y/n had been planning it for the past two weeks. unfortunately, it was well known that y/n y/l/n was awful keeping secrets. it was as though when she knew something, good or bad, she felt an immense amount of pressure, which ended in her exploding and spilling all to the one person she normally wasn’t meant to. but she was determined that this would be like the other times. she had gone the extra mile in avoiding conversation with jay, knowing one slip and her whole plan was ruined.

“hey, baby!” jay yelled, y/n’s body jumped in shock. his footsteps growing nearer until he appeared in front of him. his muscled torso on show as his bottom half was hidden away by a large grey towel. jay noticed y/n’s jumpy behaviour immediately, his eyes drawing nearer as he examined her face. “what’s wrong?”

“wrong? with me? pfft, nothing’s wrong with me. absolutely nothing. w-what’s wrong with you?” she rushed out, leaning her weight against the dressing table until her hand slipped and she quickly caught herself before hitting her head on the wood. jay shook his head in amusement, he had been worried for the past few days that he had upset the woman. she was unusually quiet, which normally indicated that something was wrong, considering she hated silence.

“doesn’t matter.”

seeing jay withdraw from her made her want to reach out, but her mind already ticked over to something else. running into the guest room, she reappeared with a shoe-like box. not knowing what to say, she shoved the box in his direction innocently. jay pecked her lips lightly, taking the box and taking a seat as he ripped the sparkly paper she had found in a random drawer.

removing the box lid, he peered into the box with curiosity. in a matter of seconds the teasing look fell from his face, replaced with a loss of words. in the box resided memories that up until that moment had been in the back of jay’s mind. letters that the pair had sent back and forth all those years ago when he had been enlisted in afghanistan. photos from jay’s police academy graduation, dates, christmases anything that held a sentimental feeling y/n wished to recreate.

“y-you kept all this stuff?” he asked, his fingers grabbing a small blue teddy bear that’s fur was slightly matted from the dust that had tainted its texture and colour. the very bear y/n had brought jay the time he had broke his arm back when they were kids, she had forced her mother to buy the bear from the giftshop knowing that it would cheer the boy up. she was right, of course she was right.

“of course i did,” she whispered, resting her chin on his shoulder, watching him study each individual object. “throwing away any of this stuff made me feel like i was throwing a bit of us, you know?” y/n felt stupid, but only the slight blush on her cheeks gave it away to anyone that looked close enough.

“thank you, thank you for everything.” snaking his arms around her, he brought his chest close to his chest. sometimes he felt like they were still the kids that would climb through each other’s windows just so they could hold one another and remind the other they weren’t alone. “i love you so much, i’m so happy i have you in my life.”

the tears brimming in y/n’s eyes were not missed by the detective, he didn’t miss anything she did. she was like art to him, something beautiful, at times a little misunderstood, but beautiful nevertheless. lifting his head to connect their lips, the two took their time, slowly allowing the lust to push its way through. before it could progress any further a loud blare made them jump apart.

“what the-.” jay began, watching as y/n pushed her way off the seat and running out the door. hesitantly he followed, leading his way out of the house until he found y/n grinning childishly.

“happy birthday, man!” pulling his eyes away from his girl, he found the familiar cars driving slowly down the road. the lights on the large black cars blaring as kevin leaned out the front car, whilst adam and kim leaned out the second. with the confusion seeping into the feeling of surprise, he felt y/n leave his side before reappearing. this time, her arms held out a large cake that had clearly been homemade considering the way the lettering that spelt out ‘happy birthday, jay’ slowly got smaller towards the end.

“you did all this for me?” he asked astounded, despite y/n being the most affectionate and loving person he knew.

“of course i did,” she responded as if it was the most ridiculous questions she had ever heard. “i meant what i said jay, i love you. this is the least i could do considering all you do for me.” the heart to heart was rudely interrupted by the blaring of a car horn.

“you guys can do your thing later, just blow out the candles!” adam complained, earning a thwack over the arm by kim. “i mean, totally up to you, buddy. happy birthday!”

jay chuckled, as he took in a deep breath and blew out the many candles that sprinkled over the sweet treat. before he ignored the cheers of his friends and kissed y/n passionately.

“this might just be the best birthday ever.” he grinned.

“happy birthday, baby.”

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seb-owns-these-tatas · 4 years

Text

Witcher of the Night (Chapter 16)

THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER.

UPDATES FOR WITCHER OF THE NIGHT WILL BE PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY NOW IN MY TIME (GMT +8)

CHAPTER 15.1

WITCHER OF THE NIGHT MASTERLIST

Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader

Summary: A horny and insecure witcher decided to talk what his mind has been keeping; making you see how much of a man he was that was worth to choose and be chosen.

Warnings: NSFW 18+. (Yep. Again. Love it while it lasts, bb’s. Hehehe.) Some witcher in a rut. Finger sucking. Cream pie. Smut. Size kink. (I meant Geralt’s body build. LMAO *I base this story on the show. Not the game or books.*) an irritated bard? Ahehehehe. Nakedness? Geralt being soft and honest? (*screams*)

A/N: I was drained from the last chapter and I’ve taken a break. I was supposed to not update today due to it. I hope you can lend at least a minute to reblog or give me feedback, ghost readers out there! 💟 There ain’t no moments like this anymore because the plot will take its place on the next chapters! ENJOY WHILE IT LASTS!

TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE! Sorry for the grammatical errors and such because English isn’t my mother tongue!

Disclaimer: PNG’s and pictures used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi (GIF credits: littlechinesedoll)

MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

GERALT OF RIVIA WAS IN A RUT.

You were sure he was after being fucked into oblivion by the witcher for countless of times already; taking a lot of orgasms in just about eight hours? He was lucky that he was a mutant. However, in your side? It was unfortunate because your stamina was weaker than his.

Your poor punani has been overworked and wrecked again. Lungs seem to be incapacitated, dangerously reaching the critical level for accepting Geralt's wishes; another round of ceaseless bliss in which you certainly didn't defy. Pants and wheezes were muddled against the mattress as you shoved your face on it, vigorously being burrowed from behind.

Here you thought; feeling mighty and confident that you could take and last for how long his enhanced self would.

Technically, you were wrong. Utterly wrong.

Was it round twenty-five already? Thirty? You may never know because every time Geralt finishes, his girth somehow magically becomes stone hard again like he never spilled himself inside you. If only he wasn't sterile, you were probably about to get pregnant with little witchers somehow based on how he always milks you in; like you were his pet, letting you take it good.

The white wolf's libido was overly developed as well. As you were told by the man, himself. He could go on for hours, days and even weeks, nailing you repeatedly until you have no energy to comprehend what was happening, and you were sure that his enhancement with the desires he had was a perk and also a disadvantage for your weak self who had her virginity taken just days ago.

Your sexual experiences are being expanded and learned by Geralt, not knowing before that you had a size kink of being choked in his own weight above yours, baptizing every nook and space in their home like animals in heat and being treated like you were such a fragile little thing before being corrupted; tainting your once chastised soul.

The witcher was a person who had given you a different outlook in life. Bringing you to a wonderland in the midst of being railed repeatedly; consistent with his rigorous, shameless pounding from the back. Brusque. Sharp. Perfect for the angle that hits the perfect spot, polishing your hole that has sent you ripples and waves of glory.

Geralt's moans were withdrawn, holding back those sounds of pleasure from ponderously watching his girth push and slither inside your heat. His mouth tightly shut and thick eyebrows scrunched in rapture. Aureate eyes intensely concentrated on his hard cock slowly drilling back, keeping his bulbous head in before slowly drawling back like he like watching you be filled with his girth; admiring how you were stretched around his hardened cock.

He'd felt your body intensely tremble beneath his.

Your knees were quivering with every plunge. Warm drizzles of your cunt leaking with a mixture of his fluid and yours together; like art combined with a color that creates a new one. The room smelled like sex and sweat with a scent of fresh grass because of how the windows were wide opened.

Nobody would see you both in such a debauched position, right? you've thought that when Geralt has lowered you down against the mattress, his weight crushing and pinning you down, quickly getting to his job; sticking his girth inside of you like he never would get tired of doing so after basically baptizing the hallway through the second floor.

Elbows began to feel sore. A desperate whine began to gurgle from your dry throat. Hand tightly grabbing onto one of his that laid on the curvatures of your hips, dragging you back to his swollen girth with every shove; filling you over and over like how you deserved because you've been a good girl. Every time he did, Geralt never misses the spot that could bring you into another restless, writhing orgasm.

The filthy sound of skin slapping on skin came with icherous slimy caresses of your nectar coating each other's carnal greed. Noise came with his bedpost hitting the wall like a maddened gorilla raging out of its cage, when all of a sudden; you've heard Kolby's strange bark that seem to come from the first floor, alarming you both that his family has already came back. Yet, here you were, splayed below the witcher and still getting driven to his extremes.

Geralt pulled his hand away from the bed post, leaving a print and a crack of his hand against the wood. His fingers slid through your dangling breasts, palms groping your teat as he began to knead onto it like a cat trying to suckle from his mother; claws out as he tweaked your sensitive nipple in one breast to the other. Simultaneously changing hands as he continued to reach you both to the edge of Nirvana.

Then, you've heard laughter and complaining downstairs.

"Geralt," you started with a mewl, your body being rocked from behind, the sheets thoroughly disheveled from your tiring day activities. His hand that fondled your teat trailed up your body; while the other glided down for what throbbing nub that was needed attention for another release.

His palm gently met your mouth when you've began to moan from his fingers touching your clit, rubbing and circling it the right, pleasuring way while he went on with his ceaseless ramming.

"Hnnng," you whimpered, voice muffled from his large, calloused hand that covered your mouth; hushing you from any noise that could echo out of the room.

The way he was manhandling you does it. From the moment he tried shushing you up, your heat began to clench around him. Your body squirming and thrashing under his skin. Weakened from the sudden action as it made you tremble; feeling the coil beginning to snap with just a few more jabs.

More thuds and unfathomable complaints echoed outside the room. With Jaskier finally knowing what caused the commotion that he somehow managed to be in. Geralt didn't seem to be bothered about the fact that their table has been wrecked; though, the bard might say otherwise.

His plowing slackened when you’ve felt him breath heavily from behind,

"Shhhh. Quiet down, midget." he clasped his palms tighter on your mewling mouth; hearing his breathless grunts above you was making you squirm in his hold. It didn't take you another lewd moan when Geralt's thick index and middle finger skid in between the pillows of your lips, an act of pacifying your noise down which has gotten an elicit of your juices flowing down your thighs, soaking you more than ever. But, you never did deliberate to suck on those fingers like how your mind has told you.

The smutty action was enough for him to briefly glance down at you, engrossed and captivated by a never expected bustles from his naive, greenhorn of a woman.

Another weakened moan was muffled beneath the palm that clasped your mouth. Your fingers trying to wrench his own away from slightly pinching on your sensitive clit, dragging you to where you wanted.

Neverland. Nirvana. Heaven. Where ever you could experience bliss.

Or basically Geralt's bed because you were currently being brought to the edge of the rainbows.

He was persistent and continued rubbing on your nub, his thick, long fingers thoroughly drenched from your arousal.

"Ugh---Hmm. fuck." the white haired witcher deeply grunted and moaned, his jutting hips bottoming out as he continued his desperate, urgent drives. Thrusts turning reckless. Panting breaths like dogs in heat; embracing every bit of his urgency to reach the floating clouds.

Your real name has slipped out of his tongue, sounding so lewd which has taken you over the edge. Knees began to shake as the high took over. Muscles clenching and also your cunt tightly choking his girth to spill his seed, urging him to thoroughly coat your insides. Another loud breathless grunt left his ajar lips; the sweat dripping down his temples as it also drenched his chest from all the activities. His heartbeat was running miles after miles, chasing to catch yours.

"G-Geralt, Geralt, Geralt!" you've salaciously cried out with every sloppy thrusts in the midst of having a muscle spasm; choking in the blast of euphoria when he'd took his hand off your mouth, grabbing onto yours which has been holding onto the headboards for dear life. Hence, as the witcher pulled your hand away; he'd done the unexpected.

Geralt of Rivia has sweetly peppered the back of your hands with honeyed kisses to soothe your convulsion; treating you like he wasn't fucking you to oblivion nor corrupting you from behind.

You've heard his breath hitch. The way he'd dropped his large hand on the mattress over your small ones, gripping onto it hard; you knew he came. He'd panted heavily above you, the new position being surrounded by his gigantic warmth. Your juices soaking your inner thighs as his load shot inside you. All warm and cozy; giving you a fuzzy feeling inside your chest that you couldn't explain.

He never pulled out until he was finished. You were so full of him, his seed dripping out of your cunt when his semi-flaccid cock dragged out of your overused pussy, telling him how he’d filled you more than he planned to. Your knees eventually buckled and lost its will to be useful for you; your face down on the pillow, running short of breath as you planted over the tousled sheets.

Geralt laid on the bed beside you, his large body built turned to you with an arm tucked below his head. Basking in all his glory and sweat with amber eyes solely worried for your weary form. You sounded like you were wheezing as he hovered over to pull the blankets over your waist, shielding you over the cold, crisp wind of the afternoon dew. Your whole body coated in the satiny sliver of your sweat combined with his and the witcher couldn't help but take in the view that he longed to be habituated once again before you came along.

Did he...actually break you while being drilled? he silently thought at the back of his tousled, half tied chalky white hair.

"Midget?" He softly muttered, using an elbow to peer down before you. Aureate eyes lingering a little bit longer. His fingers extending to graze along the line of sweat that covered your spine before reconsidering, hands ought to brush your disheveled hair away from your face, taking his time as he glided his fingers down through the side of your face.

He doted on the spent image of your sprawled body in the middle of his bed. Your heart turning more warmer than it ever could when you've felt him watching you over, the blankets glazing atop of your skin as you've closed your eyes, trying to steady back your breathing.

"I'm...fine. Just...spent. Let me...breathe," you breathlessly whispered.

"Hmm."

His faint, vibrating hum slowly calmed the fluttering butterflies flapping their wings inside your stomach. He earnestly cast his eyes over you. The thick pad of his fingers tracing along the hairs of your arm; giving you a shiver, padding down till the tips of yours before strikingly filling in the gaps of your fingers with his. Such a simple action making your heart feel snug with a hint of palpitation from the sudden, unusual gesture from the white wolf.

Well, he was certainly learning.

You've taken a peek from under the flat fuzz of your pillows; seeing amiable, tired, tender eyes. Rough, large palms delicately scraping through your soft ones, entwined amongst the unkempt silk of sheets from the result of your passionate tupping.

With your eyes still shut, a jaded admission was sent to the latter; assuming things from your negative state of mind. This always happens in the movies, right? the small voice in the back of your mind stated. After all the blissful moments, complication and problems tries to hinder over the blithe that wanted you to believe that this was a much of a miracle to happen.

It was subtly telling you that your presence in their world had a time limit because you didn't belong to their world in the first place. Salt came pinching down your heart at the sudden realization of that; getting a gist of feeling by choosing to live in their world forever, there were instances that would get you coming back from your dimension. Every felicitious moment feeling like it was all temporary and a fleeting scene in your mind.

The idea struck like a lightning. You didn't belong to their world; nor do you fit in.

Such a change of heart that you wanted to scurry home since the first day you've arrived; thinking that everything was just a dream or a nightmare that couldn't wake you up. But, in this exact moment; you felt like not wanting to go home.

"Why do I feel like you wouldn't come back after your hunt?" you weakly muttered; brushing off the infectious thought that could bring the felicity down; pulling yourself closer to him. You've tossed the bad shadows trying to lure you in as you've focused on the golden light that Geralt could let you see through. His warm breath fanned your face as you heavily sighed out the worry crippling out of your chest.

"You're overthinking." he deeply rasped, hearing him breath steady; sounding like his declaration had a double meaning. His thumbs brushed over your knuckles as he continued to reassure your troubled self, "---I never leave nor would I plan to. My family is my home,"

Geralt collected his thoughts, breaking through the spell you've always had to cast him in. Only your exquisite scent being the fire to thaw his walls down. It took him seconds before bluntly saying his next words, making you flutter your eyes open to see him softly smiling back at you. His tone warm, comforting and nesh for your sensitive, soft heart soul.

"---you are also my home. I'll always come back to you---always will find you,"

Those words that he stunningly said made your heart skip a beat. The cicatrix glowing beneath the sheets without you knowing, ecstatic of what has come out from his lips as a burst of bliss spread right through your chest.

You've felt the adrenaline rush from his sudden admission and change of aura; abruptly making you nail your elbows on the table, repeatedly blinking back at the witcher when you've felt the balmy cloud of warmth spread around your eyes; close enough for you to cry and you languidly leaned down to his very peaceful face to softly give him a kiss on the lips in which he gladly reciprocated.

No. This wasn't sweet nothings where he tries to win over your heart. His words was a declaration of breaking those walls down for you. It was a key for you to come hopping in, an invitation of seeing the real him; his vulnerable side that nobody ever sees.

Hence, this was the first time you've had someone showing you what it felt to be important, needed and cared for. A person with real intentions. Sensations which you never knew it existed or believed that you would ever get to experience such.

Nevertheless, it took you a trip to another dimension just to have it.

Your mouth left his with a euphonious twang. There was no rush to the kiss or any type of greed. Just a succulent sharing of what you wanted him to feel from your quiet response of what he said. It needed no words of approval or even a shedding of your tears; erasing the worries away if you started bawling your eyes out from his secrets that he whispered. His thick brows furrowed in a questionable expression, intently eyeing your dewy peepers staring back at him. Utterly fond. The witcher feeling as if there was profound affection deep within your eyes as you tried to shield them over with that twinkling gaze of yours.

He knew what he was seeing or feeling from you. But, he chose to ignore as of the moment.

"Jaskier's fond of you," he abruptly admitted, downright apathetic; his gravel tone expressing a mixture of interest and a little bit of doubt, not for you but for himself.

That simple display of what you've visibly felt made your heart soften a lot more than it ever could. Finding it hard to believe that this person slash mutant in front of you also had his own issues, sounding diffident with just conferring about this surprising fact he noticed from his friend who seemed to be catching feelings for you that certainly was quite difficult to believe.

You were biting the tips of your tongue from saying anything further more, pulling back from driving too fast that maybe Geralt was falling behind.

"Jaskier? Your Jaskier? The bard who always tries to ruin my day? you’re hallucinating, Geralt." you wanted to snort from his accusation.

Geralt has given you a dirty look, appearing to look like he has issues with you that he didn't want to expand as he kept his silence and continued to send a grimace. Was he hallucinating? Were he hallucinating when he'd read those words upon your lips hours ago? Was your endearment just a slip of your tongue? A simple caught up in the heat of the moment?

Was he also just hallucinating when you’ve called him ‘love’?

"Am I, really?" the witcher stated flat, sending a displeased hum as he subtly played with the softness of your fingers clutched to his bigger ones.

Your eyes turned wide from his deadpan, "What did I do? That banter sounded sarcastic, kitty!"

The latter slowly blinked, dragging a sigh as his baritone timbre turned stern and also meek no matter how hard he tried to cover it up from the roughness that he wanted it to sound like, you could read between the lines and sure enough, he was self-effacing from his friend who was also fond of you.

"Do...you like the bard?" he hesitatingly trailed off. The question ending with a pause as it sounded completely unforthright. You've given him a tender beam; child like and masking with nothing but innocence, affection and understanding, "Go on. I'm listening. Tell me what's on your mind," you started, seeing his tight lipped mouth shut. Those amber eyes briefly looking away from you,

"---Come on, please? Let me understand and see through the good heart that I've always believed in,"

Geralt gave it a moment. Exactly a minute as you've accepted the tranquil silence with him. Such silence that you have never imagined to be so comforting because back in your apartment, the stillness was eerie and cold; imagining hands trying to take your soul away from surviving a life by working in another country where you had no one but you.

"You're...significant to me." his glowing amber eyes turned heartfelt, shooting warmth through your skin and chest, "---you are a lot to handle. An unorthodox in my dimension. Yet, despite that, you're the havoc I didn't know I needed,"

"You're calling me chaotic. How sweet of you," you deadpanned, snorting from his metaphors that got you successfully rolling your eyes back at him.

"Your existence brought me sheer confusion about you. But, I'd rather have that befuddlement than to not be with you,"

Destiny brought you to him. Those assumptions he'd taken into consideration was now taken into account. Thus, destiny just needed this to not fuck it up. It shouldn't because he much rather not imagine how it would happen nor how he would be able to accept such fate laid before him.

"Jaskier's...a friend---he's important to me," he continued, feeling your other hand fall onto the side of his face; soft fingers tracing along the scar on his forehead and cheekbones with that glimmer in your eyes that make him want to give you another kiss; readable in your peepers was the acceptance he never knew he needed so badly, "---No matter how annoying he is. He's still my companion. A real...friend. I've seen how comfortable you are with him, saw how compatible you were with the bard,"

You've stopped brushing your fingers along his marks. Your free hand sluggishly propping below your chin as you've peered down. A small grin curling your lips, "When have you been a love guru? Does this version of you come up with a graphic chart that tells how many percentages do I seem to be compatible with Jaskier?"

He kept silent, staring straight into your eyes with a lukewarm expression; not understanding your references.

You've given him a faint raise of your brow, skeptically looking at him with an amused flicker of your peepers, "You've seen us that night. Explains why Jaskier was ranting about the door you've broken,"

Geralt kept his mouth tightly shut, shortly looking away before giving you a pensive response, "I've already fixed it---and you know it was not just about that,"

Pulling your closed fist under your chin, you've tilted your head to the side. Pleased by his tamed reaction as you've leaned closer to his face, adoring Geralt's sublime features that never fails to charm you everyday. His charisma totally knocking your wits out as you could finally see more of his true self.

You started, your words smoothly dancing per word; sounding utmost sincere and in wonder, "People in your world say witchers don't feel emotions," even being disregarded like they weren't humans, you silently added much more to yourself when you paused to talk, "---Well, my witcher is exactly the opposite because you're full of it even though you sound unenthusiastic all the time---comes with the mutations, I guess?"

The soft look in his eyes warmed your soul. Attentive of the stars that seem to float inside those amber pair; looking like he'd caught them for you. He stayed silent, never breaking his gaze away from you nor planning to move away from your body close to his.

"Do you want me to be with the bard?" your question caught him off guard, keenly reading through what your eyes wanted to say. The query sounding like it was just a quip.

"Will that make you happy?"

Geralt warily asked, completely earnest of what he said that made you bite the inner plump of your lips. There was a long amount of silence, contemplating what made him think that way, even considering the idea of never getting in the way when you'll choose another person than him. Was he even real?

Your smile fell a little at the question, swiftly unwrapping your hands entwined with his which ignited a tight frown from the witcher when he miscalculated the sudden gesture. But, those dreadful thoughts ceased when you've poked his muscular chest, the part where his heart loudly beat beneath the pad of your index finger.

"Will that make...YOU happy?" you slowly emphasized and returned the question, intently gazing above him. When he never answered and stayed quiet, it was the right time to say words that couldn't be kept to yourself. You've forgotten to bite your tongue from saying anything further less.

"---But, YOU make me happy, Geralt of Rivia. Isn't that enough reason to choose you?"

Keen golden eyes deeply gazed into yours, as genuine than it has ever been before; sucking you in and having no chance to escape from the resplendent color of his hues. Geralt moved beneath to help himself by using his elbow, his sudden elevation making you tilt your head back to see him deeply staring, mouth turning into a tight straight line as he rasped.

"Even if it takes for your life back in your world to be taken away from you---fuck." he abruptly stopped in the middle of his sentence, briskly taking a glimpse of the door behind you when he could hear stealthy padded footsteps hiking up the stairs.

Jaskier.

Geralt sharply sat his back on the headboard. His silvery, unkempt half-tied hair moving as he does so, the white sheets pooling just below his torso. He looked bedraggled and utterly sweaty which made it feel so fulfilling to have him in your presence looking like that. A miraculous snack. You could never have this opportunity back in earth.

You bit your lips from keeping yourself from grinning, curiously eyeing him as you mused. He deliberately scanned your exposed back, "What? What's happening?"

The latter took no questions and quickly pulled the covers over your shoulders as you laid on your front, slightly elevated with the help of your arms tucked under. He loudly sighed, sitting back on the wooden board. Recognizable footfall thumping louder and closer before a wind up bard barged in the room without knocking or announcing his presence.

"You two!" Jaskier exclaimed, ceasing midway in the middle of the room; looking lost and piqued. His pretty face morphed into a tight frown to find you and Geralt utterly rumpled under the sheets. You tossed a look over your shoulder to see the bard straight up crashing inside like there has been no lock or whatsoever.

Geralt motioned with his hands, palms on either side to show how taken aback he was from his friend who came trudging in like he owned the place. His face hinting with displeasure. Wordlessly gesturing towards the bard with a 'What the fuck?' face.

You skeptically hushed whispers beside the witcher, timidly pulling the covers over your wild head, looking stunned as you exclaimed, "I thought you locked the room? I told you to lock it!---What if it was Cirilla?!---Don't you know what a lock is, Geralt?!"

Despite of your panicking and embarrassed state, he was entirely the opposite as he sounded lackadaisical, going on by glaring at the bard who has his face scrunched in utmost displeasure, "I didn't expect them to arrive home this early." the witcher rolled his eyes from his galled self and sent a scowl towards the bard.

Jaskier raised his brow in disbelief, "Early? We've been gone for 8 hours, Geralt!"

"Well, I thought you'll be gone for at least a day and not barge in our room after we had a 'moment', Bard. A knock would’ve suffice."

Another set of padded footsteps, this time it sounded like this person was merrily hopping through the hallway. Until a ball of Ashen hair peeked through the opened doorway with a short Hirikka standing in the middle of the threshold.

"I'm here---woah!" Cirilla seemed to be knocked out of her boots when she saw you emerging from under the covers, bashfully covering your chest with the sheets, looking mortified by everyone seeing you in that kind of state. You were glaring at the witcher who tossed your off the side for a while as he dealt with his scandalous and crazy family.

"---I knew it!" the princess of Cintra loudly clapped and jumped on her feet. Her excitement immediately dying down when she noticed that you both weren't actually clothed beneath the white blankets. She firmly crossed her arms, her nose scrunching in disgust, "---Also, gross! Please do lock the doors next time!"

She whistled at the flabbergasted Hirikka who was sniffing the whole room in bewilderment; stout stopping before the bard as he sniffed him loudly enough for Jaskier to wave his face off away from his face. Cirilla whistled another, catching the beast's attention and making Geralt wince due to his heightened hearing, "Kolby, let's go! I'm giving you a nice warm bath!" before she shut the door closed behind them when he'd run off towards the princess.

Geralt and Jasker were giving each other stern glares; seeming to be in a challenge where one shouldn't back down despite of how mean it appeared to be like.

Jaskier was the first to talk, beginning his interrogation, "Who ruined the dining table?"

You swallowed the butterflies wanting to fly out of your throat, lifting a shaky finger to point at the witcher who was still as he sat on his side of the bed, "I’m definitely not the person who has superpowers here---It's him," but, Geralt seemed to answer in the same time with you.

"No one."

Jaskier didn't seem to want and take everyone's bullshit as he crossed his arms in front of you both. Geralt's clothes on one hand and yours in the other that made a blush go straight up your whole face, burning the dignity that was left. You wanted to yell from how irresponsible you were for leaving your clothes all around the house when you promised yourself that it'll be fixed after your activity.

You didn't expect Geralt to take eight hours---or you did?----and actually forgot what was needed to remember.

"Oh, no one, Geralt? I suppose this shirt is also owned by no one, considering how unclad you are right now? Hmm. Would this tunic come from the Hirikka then?" the toubadour raised his hand where Geralt's black under tunic has been balled up.

Jaskier dramatically puffed out a sigh, sounding like it was the end of the world for what has welcomed them when they came back from their weekly visit for Cuthbert. He held forth about your sudden shenanigans around the house like a father delivering a tirade.

"We leave for eight hours and this is what you both welcomed us in," pause. "---A broken bloody table where we dine!" Another pause as he threw Geralt's clothes at his face in which he caught it perfectly, "---your clothes everywhere in the house like snakes who shed their skins anywhere they go!"

Lastly, his foot fidgeted on the wooden floors, tapping in anxiety as he remembered that tiny scratch he had seen on his beloved musical instrument, entirely galled from the wound it received like it was his baby.

"---and also my lute---my beloved lute falling on the floors! You've hurt her!"

"We didn't touch your lute," Geralt's response was tepid, lazily blinking back at the enraged bard who stood in the middle of the room.

Jaskier's raised his hands to his hips, raising a finger and opening his mouth, expression wild and ready to send another harangue before back paddling inside his train of thoughts.

He briefly shut his mouth, tilting his head to the side as he wondered out loud, "Oh, maybe the air pushed it to fall. I remembered how I left the windows opened too. However---!"

Geralt cut his verbal onslaught, his gaze narrowing at Jaskier who also didn't back down at sending a nasty lour at the entertained witcher.

"I'll fix whatever is needed to fix, bard. Stop your whining," you've felt the bed squeak and bounce. Geralt slipped his legs out of the sheets, feet plopping down the floors as he heavily sighed. It needed power; manpower for Jaskier to leave the room and Geralt knew he wouldn't leave until he pushes him out of the threshold.

The witcher stood tall and firm, completely au naturel from head to foot like how he have been when he was a baby, stark naked without being moved by the idea that Jaskier was in the same room as you. His bare ass never shaking him off and so does the bard.

"Leave. Out of my chambers, Jaskier."

Geralt sauntered to where he is. Your eyebrows raising in amusement as you've marveled over the witcher in the nude. His beautiful, rugged bare back on show with that A+ rating of his derriere in which you freely tried to memorize inside your head.

Though, you couldn't help but take a glimpse of Jaskier who seemed unfazed by this whole nakedness he was seeing; like he was familiar of the whole thing and the white wolf's dangly bits hanging and it has peaked your curiosity.

Do they bathe together then?

The bard has seen your amused smile with a skeptical brow raised to what you were witnessing. Thus, he peeked around Geralt to acknowledge your curiosity; pointing at you with a roguish grin, "That face tells that you have been swimming deep inside the vast depths of the sea, wondering why I am not bothered by the witcher's nudity---"

"Jaskier," Geralt sent a tired warning and held his slim shoulders, forcefully turning him around as he pushed him forward, towards the door.

"---It's because I have rubbed chamomile onto his lovely bottom before! It was true! I never lied! It was a part of the rules in becoming the rightful travel companion until you came along and began rubbing it for himself! Though, I doubt you did it to join our adventures!---"

You couldn't help but stifle your tee-hee from his admission. Finding their friendship amazing to the point that he does it for Geralt; receiving nothing but his altruism and adventures that the witcher has shared together with him.

Geralt loudly closed the door behind Jaskier; his mouth running on and on about how such a change of habits it has been when you came in their life. He'd knock a lot of times, calling out for the both of you and trying to want and barge in your moment but your white wolf finally knew what a lock is and slid the wooden block over the hook to lock his chambers.

"He seriously rubs chamomile on your butt?"

The skyclad man turned on his heel, raising a skeptical brow as you tried to focus hard on his face and not his body that stood before you.

"I guess that silence means yes, then. Oof, such bromance! Don't you think I'm the one who's actually becoming a hindrance between your platonic relationship with your bard?"

"Ridiculous." He took several steps closer, making you turn your head from becoming too flustered over his glorious, scarred body that he certainly isn't afraid or diffident about his imperfections anymore after you've treated them like it was a part of him that you will always accept. Geralt sat on your side, reaching over the bedside table to look beneath the drawers.

The latter placed a small, transparent bottle on your hand. A clear yellowish tone of liquid inside as you stared at it, thoroughly intrigued, "What's this? Is it another one of your witcher potions?"

Geralt hummed in negation, lifting his calloused hand to take your chin in between his fingers, turning your head to look at his ardent, shining amber, "Eucalyptus Oil. Took it from Cirilla's chambers. For you---For later. Perhaps, our recent activities had you feeling utterly spent,"

You've blinked, taken aback from his plans for whatever it is he wanted. Though, it didn't take you to put two on two together to know where his plans would take you, "Why are you---Oh. I know. I definitely know what you want." pause. "---you are insatiable, Geralt."

Geralt gently nudged your chin, tilting it up to his advantage as he leaned down to press a soft buss to your lips. Once again, he'd took your breath away by how tender he was handling you. The mere opposite of what people see and expected from because they never had the chance to walk through him; they didn’t have the courage to know who he really was.

His thumb that rested upon your chin were easily replaced with his lips, kissing you on the spot before gliding the dimples of his nose to yours, subtly giving you an Eskimo kiss.

"My overly developed lechery certainly comes from the mutation,"

Geralt's mouth lifted into a small, unusual beam, fluttering his eyes closed as he concentrated on you and that specific comfort he found. Questions came hitting him like stones, breaking the mirthful bubble that he was brought in.

He didn't want you to go home anymore because he'd found home in you.

But, what if fate had move mountains and threw his happiness away again? Leaving him no choice but to watch you go?

Taglist for WOTN: (Strikethrough means I can’t tag you, bb’s! 💖) @alyxkbrl @himarisolace @barkingbullfrog @ayamenimthiriel @hellodevilslittlesister @vania-marie @spookypeachx @grungelovebug @fangirl-inthe-us @nympeth @amirahiddleston @gabethelobster @dreaming-about-starfleet @uncoolcloudyhead @melaninstylezz @psychosupernatural @missjenniferb @dance-dreamer @marvelousell @kingniazx @angelias134 @tapismyforte @chook007 @covid-donotenter @winter-moons @cheesecakeisapie @silverkitten547 @angelofthor @carrieannewaywardson, @plantingmum, @stuckupstucky, @shesthelastjedi, @a--1--1--3, @gutfucks,

Overall witcher taglist: @pizza-eater-i-ate-the-pizza

General taglist for Henry: @agniavateira, @iloveyouyen, @rahdaleigh,

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