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chicago-pd-is-weird · 25 days

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Jay Halstead x Reader Oneshot

Synopsis: Jay and reader are together, and reader works at Med in ED with Will. Reader has a lot of anxiety because Jay is a cop, thinking every cop that is brought in may be Jay.

TW: anxiety/panic attacks is a main theme in this, also some mention of blood and doctor-y stuff because reader works at Med in ED

Requested by: @sorry-i-spaced

Thank you so much! This was fun to write!

Any other oneshot requests, please DM me! :)

“We got a Stevenson!” A paramedic called out as they rolled into the ED. You and several other doctors sprung into action, running toward where the paramedics were coming in. ‘Stevenson’ was the code name for a cop, to let Med know who it was, no matter if they were in uniform, plainclothes, or undercover.

“(Y/N)! Rhodes! Trauma three!” Maggie’s voice called from the desk. Working in the ED was no walk in the park, especially in the middle of Chicago. You made your way quickly to where Maggie pointed you, picking up the pace as they wheeled in a man who was surrounded by cops. You pushed through the crowd and into the room, seeing the man on the gurney with three bullet holes in him. You helped get him moved over, then assessed the damage, Dr. Rhodes right behind you to help.

“Three bullet wounds, center mass. I’m assuming this is the perpetrator, not our Stevenson?” You spoke out loud. Some of the officers outside the room confirmed your thoughts.

Your heart was already pumping from the adrenaline as you worked on the man, but you couldn’t help it as it beat faster, hoping the officer shot wasn’t Jay Halstead. It made you especially nervous when the officers outside the room talked amongst one another, saying the man shot was a detective. Bile started to rise in your throat, but you were pulled back by the monitors beeping rapidly. You took immediate action as you snapped out of your anxiety for just a few moments.

You finally stabilized the man enough to take him to surgery, letting the nurses and techs take him with Dr. Rhodes. You backed away, looking around the room at the mess that had been made. For a moment, you stood in silence, looking around at the blood and various instruments that were around the room, as well as the blood on your gloves and scrubs.

Blood. You saw it every day, and yet, you couldn’t help but get a nauseous at the sight. You thought maybe that detective, who was fighting for his life, was bleeding out. That maybe it was the man you loved. Maybe he was in the other room, clinging to life, and here you were, trying to save the man who shot him. The notion made you sick to your stomach. You ripped off your bloody gloves and left them in the room, quickly moving to the nearest bathroom to empty your stomach of your breakfast. You panted in between heaves, gripping the toilet for dear life as you trembled at the thought of Jay dying and you saving the man who killed him.

You and Jay had met through Will, one of your coworkers and closest friends at Chicago Med. Will and Jay were brothers, and both had taken a liking to you at first, but you ultimately decided that romance with a doctor at the same hospital as you would be too complicated. You never expected the anxiety that came with beings cop’s girlfriend, though. You’d been prone to anxiety in the past, but it ramped up when you started getting serious with Jay. You had episodes like this a lot, no matter what cop came in. It had never been Jay in the past, but it only took one bullet in the wrong spot for him to die.

When the nausea passed, you slowly pushed yourself to your feet, though still unsteady as your head spin. You flushed, washed your hands and face, then made your way to the locker rooms to change out of your scrubs and into a fresh pair. When you re-emerged, you were met with Will, who gently pulled you aside before anyone else could see you. “Hey, (Y/N), you okay?” Will already knew the answer to that. He was the only one who knew the full story about these episodes you had at work. Although Jay knew some of it, especially about your anxiety, he didn’t know the full picture, and you’d sworn Will into secrecy over it.

“Will, it wasn’t him, was it?”

“No, (Y/N), Jay is fine. I talked to him just a little bit ago. He is investigating this with Intelligence. He might still be here. He was looking for you.”

You let out a shaky breath, but nodded. You were relieved, but needed to see for yourself. You walked with Will back to where he’d last seen Jay, your stomach settling down as you saw him standing with Detective Lindsay, talking to Maggie. You walked over, leaning on the counter with a hum beside him, hand reaching out to rest atop his on the counter.

Jay smiled when he saw you, leaning over and kissing your cheek. “Hey, was looking for you earlier. That perp going to make it?”

Instantly, your anxiety faded away, as if it was never there in the first place. Jay had that effect on you, especially when he was upright and acting like himself. “It’s touch and go, I think,” you said with a soft sigh. “We did what we could. Rhodes took him to surgery prolly about a half hour ago. If he does make it, it’ll be a hard and long road.”

Jay hummed and looked up at Will, who had taken a place behind the counter with Maggie. “And what about the detective?”

“He’ll make it,” Will replied. “Barring complications, he should be back on the job within a few weeks.”

“That’s good,” Jay replied, shifting his gaze back to you, unable to help the smile that pulled on his lips. “Hey, don’t look so down. We’ve got this.”

Your eyes met his, not realizing you’d looked upset. You smiled at him, nodding. “I know,” you replied. “It just must be hard that it’s one of your own, yaknow?”

“The risks we take,” he said with a small shrug. His statement was so nonchalant, which you didn’t like. You had to force yourself to focus on anything else to keep your rising anxiety at bay. Jay and Erin left soon after, and you shuddered, but moved back to work, checking on some other patients.

— —

“Stevenson incoming!” Maggie’s voice called out. You froze, looking up from the computer you had been typing at, swallowing hard. Your mouth ran dry, as stats were called by the paramedics. “Male, mid-thirties, stabbed multiple times.” You stood quickly, but Maggie didn’t assign you to it. You probably wouldn’t have been much help anyways, seeing as you were on the verge of an attack.

A firm hand was placed on your shoulder, pulling you back to reality as you gasped, looking behind you to see Will. “Come on,” he said softly, nodding to you. “It’s okay, come on.”

You let out a shaky breath, walking with Will out to the small break room. He got you coffee, which you took whether you liked it or not. It was something to pull you back into reality. “I-I’m sorry, I just…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Will said, shaking his head. “I get the same feeling every time, but Jay just texted me that we are meeting for lunch, so it can’t be him.”

“I shouldn’t feel so much relief from this,” you said, putting your hands to your face, wiping away some tears that had started to escape. “Someone is hurt, yaknow? But I… I’m so terrified of something happening.”

“Have you talked to anyone about this? Maybe Dr. Charles can help.”

“No, no,” you said, sighing heavily, sniffling and wiping your face. “I talked to therapists all throughout middle and high school. None of them even understood me. As far as I know, I’m just messed up mentally.”

“(Y/N),” Will sighed. “We’re all messed up mentally. We’re doctors.” He shook his head again, reaching over to put a hand on your arm. “Look, maybe you just need to find the right person. Besides, we know more about mental health and the brain now than we did then. There may be new tactics to help you cope, even if we can’t cure it.”

You were thankful for Will, nodding at his suggestions. “Maybe,” you muttered, leaning back in your chair and rubbing your face with your hands again, then coming back to down the coffee. “Thanks.”

“Any time,” he replied, nodding. “You’re not alone, alright?”

“Thanks,” you repeated. Just then, Will’s pager rang and he had to go, but he planted a soft kiss on the top of your head as he pulled you into a gentle embrace. As quick as he was beside you, he was gone, and you sank back down to the chair, looking at your empty coffee mug with despair. Maybe you’d never get better.

— —

The past few weeks had been filled with more and more scares. There was a serial killer on the loose who was targeting cops. Your body was racked with constant anxiety every time a Stevenson was brought into the ED. The only time you weren’t was when you were assisting with a surgery, so you stayed with Dr. Rhodes most of the time to ensure you were in surgery. It was better that way for the patients and for you.

The surgery you’d just assisted in finishing was a tough one. It was a kid who had fallen on a pair of scissors the wrong way. However, Dr. Rhodes was like magic, and your own hands remained calm and steady as you fell into a zen-like trance. You weren’t thinking of anything else but the surgery at hand. The anatomy and biology of the body lying below you. It was the only time and place you’d felt at peace, despite the circumstances surrounding the incident.

As you scrubbed out, washing your hands and arms, someone came into the room. “(Y/N)…” Will’s voice rang, a hand coming to your shoulder.

“Hey,” you said softly as you turned off the water and dried your hands. “What’s up?” Your mind was still calm, but when you looked up to Will, you could tell something was off.

“Don’t freak out on me, alright?”

“Will…?” You searched his face for the answer as he squeezed your shoulders with his hands.

“Just, promise.”

“Uh… I… okay…?”

“Okay,” he said with a sigh, knowing that was good enough. “Look, Jay was brought in, but-“

“What?!” You didn’t let him finish before trying to push past him to find Jay.

Will kept you in place. “No, no, (Y/N), stop, it’s okay.”

“This is NOT okay, Will! How are you so calm?!” The bile had begun to rise in your throat as you feared the worst. Tears jumped to your eyes and you had to see him. You had to know Jay was alright, even if he wasn’t.

“Hey, hey, look at me. It’s Will. Look at me!” You looked back up to Will, his hands squeezing your shoulders again to pull you back, shaking you a little. “Look, see, I’m right here. Let me finish before you break down, at least.”

You scoffed, a small scoff to hide the soft laugh of that last remark. Although you were on the verge of an attack, that pulled you back from the edge a bit, making you shake your head. “Just tell me then!”

“Jay just had a gash on his arm from a piece of metal he ran across. He just ran into a piece of metal. His sergeant sent him, just to make sure it was good. He is not shot. He is not hurt badly. He is coherent and walking around. He needed a few stitches, but that’s all.”

You searched Will’s face for any sign of him playing down the injury, but you knew Will wouldn’t lie to you. You let out a breath, wiping your face. “No, I still have to see him though because… if I don’t, I’ll never recover from this feeling.”

“I know,” Will replied. “Come on, he’s in five. But you know if you go in there like this, you’re going to have to come clean?”

“I need to see him,” you affirmed as Will walked you downstairs to where Jay was.

When you got there, you walked in and pushed the curtain back over the door to ensure you had privacy. You nearly broke down as you saw Jay, his shirt off, a bandage on his upper arm. Whether from anxiety or relief, you had no idea. The emotions pulling you in different directions was crippling, and you just stood there, trembling as tears streaked down your cheeks.

Jay looked over you as you stood, frozen in time, hot tears racing down and dripping off your chin. He got up quickly, his soft voice finally hitting your ears. “Hey, hey, (Y/N), what’s the matter?”

As he caught you between his arms, you started to sob, nearly collapsing into his chest. “Fuck, Jay!”

Jay was surprised, but caught you with ease, holding you close to his bare chest. “What did I do this time?” He teased, trying to make you feel better.

You were barely in the mood as you took a fist to his chest, hitting him softly. “Don’t even joke, it’s not fair!”

Jay turned more serious, pulling back to look at you as you sobbed. “Hey… hey, just tell me what’s going on.” You couldn’t muster any more words, wiping your face with your hands. Jay pulled you over, sitting on the bed and pulling you to sit beside him. “(Y/N)?”

“I have… I have this… this intense fear,” you finally spoke, soft words only coming out with your breaths. “This intense… burning fear… all the time… that…” You swallowed hard, leaning into his shoulder on his uninjured arm.

“That what?” Jay prompted after a moment of silence.

“That you’re going to come in here and die!” You sobbed out, moving to cling to him again, arms around his torso. “Jay, every time a cop comes in here, I can’t take it! Anxiety and panic takes me over! I-I can’t! I love you so much, and I can’t lose you!”

“Hey, hey baby, you won’t lose me. You won’t.” Jay held you tightly against his chest once again, kissing your head. “Hey, come here, look at me.” He pulled back, letting you sit up and then gently taking your chin in his fingers. He tenderly pulled your chin up, then leaned down to meet you, planting a soft kiss to your lips. When he pulled back, he let out a breath. “Nothing will ever take me away from you… Nothing. Ever.”

With that, your emotions finally leveled out. You swallowed hard and reached up to cup his face, looking over his freckles. You smiled a little as your eyes met his. “Promise?”

“I promise,” he replied, matching your smile and leaning down to kiss you again.

#chicago pd #chicagopd #jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #detective Halstead #detective Jay halstead #x reader #oneshot #fanfiction requests

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thefuckinheaven · 10 days

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#chicagopd #jesse lee soffer #jay halstead

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tracyscpd · 13 days

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One night at Molly’s

Hailey: Hey, everyone…

Jay: There’s something we need to tell you…

Adam: … You two are dating?

Hailey: What?

Kev: Wasn’t that what you wanted to tell us?

Jay: No, yeah. It was. But how did you know?

Kim: You guys weren’t as low-key as you might think you were. You two are inseparable. Among other things…

Kev: We’ve known about it for the past couple of years.

Jay: Years?

Hailey: We’ve only been dating for like three months.

Adam: Three months? Then what the hell were you doing before???

#chicagopd #hailey upton #jay halstead #upstead #upstead forever #incorrect chicago pd quotes #incorrect quotes #chicago pd nbc #adam ruzek #kim burgess #kevin atwater #I miss these idiots

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5021george-jayhalstead · 1 month

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No matter what Gwen says, these two are forever

#jayhalstead #jesseleesoffer #5021george #chicagopd #onechicago #tracy spiridakos #haileyupton #upstead #upstead forever #5021henry

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fangirlfrom-hell · 6 months

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October 1st and Traditions Gone Wrong || Jay and Will Halstead x Halstead Sister

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠

Becca wants to follow the Halstead's tradition, but looks like everything is againt it.

👻🕯🎃🕸🦇⛓🖤🕷🥀🪦🐈‍⬛💀🌙⚰🍁🕸️

"WAKE UP, YOU SNORER!"

Jay abruptly opned his eyes when a hand moved his shoulder with a shout of "HEY!".

"What the--"

"DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT DAY IS TODAY?" Becca was on top of his bed, jumping with excitement.

"Um, it's 5:00am on Sunday, that's all I know", her brother answered turning to his side, trying to go back to sleep.

"IT'S OCTOBER 1ST, SILLY! THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR HAS BEGUN!" She was smiling from ear to ear, extreme happiness could be heard in her voice.

Jay, feeling a bit defeated, reluctantly opened his eyes and gazed at his sister, who was dressed in a pajama adorned with little ghost designs. Despite his initial exhaustion, he couldn't help but break into a warm smile as he turned his eyes to her, feeling a surge of affection and happiness.

"Well, you certainly know how to wake someone up with a bang!" He rubbed his face with his hands. "What's the plan for today, Becca?"

The girl changed her tone to a more serious one. "You're joking, right? It's tradition: we watch 'The Night Before Christmas' while having a Halloween-themed breakfast, silly..."

Then, she switched back to her excited tone: "I ordered these Jack O' Lantern molds to make pancakes..."

"What? How did you order that? With what money?"

"I used your card, but that's not the point! I'll call Will, in case he forgot. He should be the one cooking today." And she hurriedly left the room.

"Sure, he'll be delighted to be woken up," Jay muttered to himself and chuckled.

After a tiring night call, Jay struggled to break free from his bed. He knew Becca wouldn't allow him to go back to sleep. Besides, she was brimming with energy; this date was significant to her, and he didn't want to disappoint her. They had followed this tradition since they were kids, but it had halted when Jay went to war and Will pursued his studies. Jay had resumed it when their mother passed away, primarily for Becca's sake. Will had rekindled his involvement in the tradition only a couple of years ago when he came back to Chicago.

Jay stepped out into the hallway, wearing his own ghost-themed shirt to match his little sister's. He made his way straight to the kitchen to brew some coffee. As he prepared the coffee, a smile crept onto his face when he spotted the box of Jack O'Lantern molds she had bought, fully aware of how much she had been anticipating this moment.

The room remained dimly lit, with most of the lights turned off, but Jay could discern Becca's silhouette on the sofa. She appeared deeply engrossed in a phone call, and Jay couldn't help but sense a tinge of concern. Was she crying? He continued to watch her intently while tending to his coffee, quietly trying to gauge her emotions from a distance.

"..sure, I understand. Yeah, no problem, I already told you I get it. See you later". she said into the phone before hanging up.

A few seconds of tense silence filled the air. Jay waited for her to say something, but she didn't budge from her spot.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

"Yes," she replied tersely.

"Is Will going to make it?" Jay inquired, though he already knew the answer.

Becca struggled to conceal her emotions, her voice quivering as she responded, "No."

Jay let out a deep sigh and sat down next to her. She was gazing into the abyss with her arms crossed.

"He just got back home from his shift; that's what he said," Becca explained, immitating her brother's voice. "He said he would be here later. I know. He's working, he's tired...but he forgot about it! And now everythingi s ruined! Just for the record, I'm not mad at him, I'm just...sad, I guess."

"Hey! Nothing is ruined, I'm still here!" Jay reassured her.

"But the tradition is with the three of us! We can't do it with minus one!"

"Well, sometimes traditions change, and that's all right, Becc. We used to do this without him, remember? Then he came back, and it evolved to what we have now..." Jay reassured her, understanding the sentimental value of their tradition, but also the way it had adapted over time.

"I guess you are right."

"What I'm trying to say it that if he said he'll come later, and his precense it's so important for you, maybe we can adapt to it. We'll watch 'The Night Before Christmas' in the evening, no big deal. Meanwhile, you and I can select another movie and savor those Jack O'Lantern pancakes. What do you say?"

"Yeah, I like that!" Becca replied with a hopeful smile.

The two Halstead siblings got to work. Together, they cooked the Jack O'Lantern pancakes and prepared hot chocolate for the special occasion. They shared hearty laughter, engaging in playful banter, and soon, Becca's spirits began to lift. Occasionally, Jay would stifle a yawn, and it was impossible for Becca not to notice the dark circles under his eyes; he appeared incredibly tired.

"Thank you for doing this with me," the girl said as they settled back on the sofa. "I know you're exhausted too."

"No problem," he replied sincerely. "There's nothing I'd rather do than celebrate October 1st with you," he winked. "Now, what are we watching?" Jay added, his exhaustion momentarily forgotten.

"Ghostbusters?" Becca suggested with a grin.

Will arrived at Jay's place around 5:00 pm, carrying two big bags filled with Halloween-themed treats and snacks. "This is my way to say I'm sorry," he explained.

"Apology accepted," Becca said, taking the bags.

Everyhting was going well, the Halstead siblings were now together, preparing everything to finally watch the movie. The initial credits appeared: "The Night Before Christmas" and Becca, Jay, and Will started to sing along: Boys and girls of every age. Wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see. This, our town of Halloween...

"Oh, geez! I'm so happy we made it!" The girl said and hugged her bothers.

But like a bad omen, Jay's phone began to ring. Becca turned to him, but he initially decided to ignore the call. It was probably nothing, as it was his day off, and he had explicitly asked not to be bothered, considering the Halstead's celebration. However, the phone rang again, three times in a row, and he couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Halstead", he sighed as he answered the call.

"Oh, God. I should have kept my mouth shout", Becca reproached herself as she paused the movie.

"I'll be there in 15", the detective brother finished the call with an agry tone.

"It's your day off!" Becca stood up, "This is not fair!"

"I know, I know, Beccs. I'm really sorry, but I gotta go to this crime scene".

"Ugh, this day is cursed. It's a stupid tradition, anyway. Who cares?" She stormed off to her room and slammed the door shut.

Becca's heart sank, but not as much as Jay's. He called out, "I'll try my best to be back soon, Becca! I promise!" as he hurried away, his voice filled with regret and determination.

"I'll take care of this, don't worry," Will reassured his brother with a comforting pat on the shoulder before Jay left the place.

Becca's door was opened and when Will peeked his head in, she was sitting at the edge of the bed, weeping the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

"Hey, munchkin", he slowly approached to her "You know this is not Jay's foult..."

"I know," she turned to face him, her expression troubled. Her voice quivered with a hint of sadness. "But it doesn't make me feel better. I... I always wait for this day because it brings us together. We used to do this with Mom and Dad, and... I don't know." Tears welled up in her eyes as she continued, her voice choked with emotion. "Things started going wrong since this morning. I should have listened to the signs. You two are adults now, with your own lives and jobs, so, of course, you wouldn't have time for these things."

Her words carried a deep sense of disappointment and longing, and her eyes glistened with the memories of cherished family moments that seemed to slip further away with each passing year.

"It's not nonsense," Will assured her, his tone gentle. "You're right. We're not kids anymore, and we have other things to attend to, but nothing, not even work, will ever be more important than you, Becca. You are our priority, and if this tradition is important to you, it's important to us too." He sighed and reached out to hug her by the shoulder. "I apologize for forgetting it; I wanted to make amends by coming in the afternoon. I didn't think it would cause so many problems."

"No, it's not your fault. It is what it is, that's all."

"You waited for me the whole day," Will observed. "May I ask why it's so important that the three of us watch it together?" He inquired, genuinely curious about the significance of their tradition for her.

Becca frowned for a moment, lost in thought, and then she smiled warmly. "It was Mom's favorite spooky movie," she explained. "Somehow, it feels like she's still around when it's the three of us." Her eyes held a mixture of nostalgia and comfort as she shared her toughts.

Will and Becca spent the evening playing board games until they decided to watch another film while waiting for Jay.

"You haven't seen 'Gremlins'?" Will asked incredulously. "How come? Geez, that's it! That's what we're watching now!"

Hours passed by, and Becca's eyes were beginning to close. After all, she had woken up very early to start the day. She realized Jay was not coming back on time, but she still wanted to wait until the very end.

"You should rest," her brother encouraged her.

"It's 10:00 pm. If he gets home, we can still honor the tradition."

"Tell you what: close your eyes and sleep; you look tired. If Jay comes back, I'll wake you up."

"Hmm, will you really wake me up?" She asked, sounding suspicious.

"It's a promise!" he assured her.

As soon as she place her head on her brother's shoulder, she fall asleep.

👻🕯🎃🕸🦇⛓🖤🕷🥀🪦🐈‍⬛💀🌙⚰🍁🕸️

"We shouldn't," murmurs echoed in the distance, almost as if they were part of her dream. "I promised her," another voice chimed in. "Give it a try," someone suggested. "If she doesn't wake up at first, we let her rest."

"Hey, Becc!" Will's voice was now clear and bright. Becca opened her eyes to see her red-haired brother's face in front of her. "Jay's back."

She turned her head and spotted him standing right next to the couch. Her smile was bright, and suddenly, a rush of energy filled her tiny body as she stood up quickly.

"OK, WHAT TIME IS IT?"

"Um, 11:30."

"IT WORKS FOR ME; WE'RE STILL ON TIME TO COMMEMORATE THE TRADITION!" Becca exclaimed with enthusiasm. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? MOVE! MOVE! GET EVERYTHING READY!"

Becca couldn't contain her happiness. It was true; the tradition hadn't gone as usual, but at this very moment, surrounded by her brothers, she felt a warmth that overshadowed any disappointment.

It was true what Jay had said: traditions change with time, and that's perfectly okay. In this case, they had even added two more movies to the celebration. Her brothers had made the effort to be with her on this important day, and she couldn't have been more grateful for their presence. She hugged both of them tightly, cherishing this moment of togetherness and the bonds that meant the world to her.

"I'm glad you both made it".

By the time the movie finished, the clock struck 1:00 am. Becca couldn't stifle a tired yawn, feeling the exhaustion wash over her. She turned to her brothers and was surprised to see both of them fast asleep, their peaceful expressions illuminated by the soft glow of the TV.

A warm, fond smile crept across Becca's face. She stretched her tired limbs, feeling a sense of contentment in this moment. With a gentle sigh, she snuggled up between the two Halstead brothers, her heart filled with love for her family. It had been an unconventional but truly special day, and now, as she closed her eyes, she was ready to join them in a well-deserved slumber, cherishing the bonds that meant the world to her.

👻🕯🎃🕸🦇⛓🖤🕷🥀🪦🐈‍⬛💀🌙⚰🍁🕸️

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a like, comment or share 😌♡

#one chicago #chicago med #chicago pd #halstead sister #jay halstead #will halstead #chicagopd #jay halstead x sister #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fanfic #Jay Halstead x Halstead sister #Will halstead x sister #Will Halstead x Halstead sister #Spooky Season #The nightmare before christmas #Halloween #One chicago

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lady-rhaesnow · 3 months

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I have come to the heartbreaking conclusion that I will not be watching the latest season of Chicago PD.

Honestly the last season nearly destroyed me and I don’t think I have it in me to watch Gwen ruin what was once my safety ship. Hailey and Jay deserve so much better and I will not be relying on the ridiculous writing that is happening in the writers room for any sense of closure because as we can clearly see that is just not going to happen.

I would like to believe that Hailey and Jay got married and are very much happy together thank you very much. Because that is what they deserve.

I refuse to be disrespected by this atrocious storyline for them. We know this is not how things would have worked out had there been some real writing happening.

I will gladly stick to the fanfics written by the very talented people in our fandom who know how to deliver on an ending.

I wish I could stay I would stay just to watch Tracy but honestly I did that with the previous season and it didn’t do me any favours. I won’t be doing that again.

Sorry, but I’m out.

#chicagopd #what the hell happened to pd??#when the writers have failed the show so badly there just aren’t any words left #upstead forever #upsptead HEA #that means HAPPILY EVER AFTER #Jay Halstead loves his wife #fight me on that I dare you #Hailey upton and Jay Halstead are soulmates #hailey upton #jay halstead #nbc chicago pd

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cpd5777 · 1 year

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“She hasn't been protected a day in her life. Doesn't know that she can be, that she should be.”

I just do not understand how a show and a writer’s room that has been building this protection arc for Hailey from literally her first DAY on the show would find that it makes any sense at all to do this.

I get that Jay is not coming back and they want some kind of fresh slate or “phoenix rising from the ashes” story for Hailey now. That they want to start fresh (I don’t agree with it, but I see that’s their current ridiculous angle).

Thinking we’ll believe she’ll emerge from this stronger and better is insulting our intelligence. They took two of the most reserved characters and built trust. She was still trusting and loving him in this last ep. So you took a woman who has a history of abuse, brutalized her for an ep, kicked her while she was down, and then forced her through Voight to question the “one good thing” after you destroyed that thing by assassinating Jay’s character.

Tracy is the best actress in a generation and the writers are relying on her to act them out of a corner again and again. She’ll make us believe whatever they put on a page.

But, it’s the most amateur of storytelling. I feel like I am reading a “choose your own adventure” book vs. watching one of the top rated shows on network TV. As much as I adored Jay, this is not about wanting him back.

The main tenet of shows is to realize that strong shows respect the stories and the characters they built. So keep that loyalty to the ones on the screen still, like Hailey. Even non-upstead stans and casual watchers are perplexed. That’s a sign that no one gets it.

I’ll watch this show as long as Tracy is on it because I enjoy watching a masterclass every week even if she is in the background, but the direction of the storylines on all fronts feel decidedly amateur and that’s a shame. We could have continued with an enjoyable procedural post Jesse exit, and the OOC character plays are just downright distracting now.

#upstead #chicago pd #hailey upton #jay halstead #tracy spiridakos #jay x hailey #jesse lee soffer #nbc chicago pd #chicagopd

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burzekshow · 19 days

Text

Scene 8x05 burgess proposes to Mack that she move in with Burge and they become a family and take care of each other 💗💗💗

#burzek #kim burgess #marina squerciati #chicagopd #one chicago #chihards

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anhandfulgirl18 · 11 months

Text

You know, it is OK to let go if you're the only one fighting.

#chicago pd #chicagopd #chicago pd spoilers #chicago pd edits #tracy spiridakos #hailey upton #hailey upton edit #you're losing me #upstead #upstead x taylor swft #upstead x you're losing me #tv show: chicago pd

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writinghalstead · 1 year

Note

you should consider doing a different ending to 'boy trouble' were she finds out she's pregnant and she needs to tell her brothers. there will be a different side to marcel. (got what he wanted and done one)

Hi, thank you for your request. I really enjoyed writing this one and I hope you will enjoy it too. This is a part 2 of a oneshot I wrote a while ago. If you want to read that one too, press the link below.

Boy trouble

I do write other scenarios too, it doesn't have to be a Halstead sister one. Feel free to send me your reqeuests!

Enjoy! :)

A Halstead!sister oneshot

Not proofread

Pregnant

Summary: When Y/N doesn’t get her period, she goes to Hailey for help. They find out that she is pregnant with Marcel’s baby. Now they have to find a way to tell Y/N’s brothers.

Word count: 2870

Warnings: mentions of period blood and abortion, swear words

----

It was six am and Y/N woke up form the feeling of cramps in her lower abdomen. She turned around in her bed, trying to ease the pain. The pain only got worse and a wave of nausea hit the girl, reminding her that is was that time of the month again. She got out of bed slowly and let out a soft groan. Y/N walked out of her room towards the bathroom at the end of the hall. She expected to see a red puddle in her underwear but she was shocked to see that it was still clean.

The girl sighed and ran her hands through her hair. She was supposed to be on the 6th day of her period today; she was a week late. It wasn’t unusual for the youngest Halstead to be a couple of days late but she had never been this late. She had expected her period to arrive today, especially with the pain she was feeling in her lower abdomen, so seeing that she was still not bleeding made her nervous. She was still seeing Marcel, even though her brothers had told her not to. She really liked this boy. But not being on her period made her think about the worst thing that could ever happen to her.

She decided to wait a little longer for her period to arrive and walked to the kitchen to get herself some breakfast. It was still a little early but she knew that she wasn’t going to get any more sleep anyway. The girl grabbed a bowl and put some cereal in it, along with some milk. She grabbed a glass of orange juice too and made her way over to the couch where she sat down to eat her breakfast while watching Grey’s Anatomy. Y/N was only halfway through her bowl of cereal when she felt another wave of nausea hit her. This time it felt different and the girl knew something was not right. She put down the bowl and ran towards the bathroom where she emptied her stomach.

‘No, no, no, no. This can’t be happening!’ she thought as another wave hit her and she threw up again. She sat there for a minute, wanting to be a hundred percent sure that her stomach was empty, before flushing the toilet. She didn’t have the time to wash her mouth because there was already a knock at the door.

‘Is everything okay in there?’ It was Will. He was the last person Y/N would want to talk to at this moment. He would doctor her every time that she didn’t feel well. It was really sweet of him and Y/N never minded him doctoring her but this was the last moment she would want to be doctored at.

‘I’m fine,’ the girl answered and turned on the sink to wash her mouth and splash some cold water in her face.

‘You don’t sound fine to me,’ her brother said as a matter-of-factly. ‘Can I come in?’

The girl sighed and gave her brother permission to enter the bathroom. As soon as he walked in he closed the lid on the toilet and made her sit while putting his hand on her head. ‘Your temperature doesn’t feel so high,’ he stated. ‘Are you just nauseous or do you have a headache too?’

Y/N sighed and looked at her brother’s worried face. ‘Will, I’m fine. It’s probably just a fever.’ She said with little conviction.

‘I want to take your temperature anyway,’ the redhead said as he grabbed a thermometer and put it under his sister’s tongue. ‘Is there anything I can do for you right now?’

The youngest Halstead thought for a moment before answering; ‘can you call Hailey for me? I want to talk to her.’

Will furrowed his eyebrows and looked at his sister questioningly. ‘What do you need Hailey for?’

The girl shrugged. ‘I just want to talk to her. It’s a girl’s thing.’ She lied. Will looked even more puzzled than he did before but decided to not ask anymore questions. He knew that his sister was not comfortable with talking about girl problems with any of her brothers. The eldest Halstead walked out of the bathroom to get his phone and when he returned, the thermometer beeped, indicating that Y/N’s temperature was taken. He checked her temperature first before giving her his phone. ‘

‘A 100, it’s not a fever yet, but I do want to keep an eye on you.’ He said as he gave Y/N his phone.

‘Ok, Will,’ she said quicky as she searched for Hailey’s contact. ‘Can you give me some privacy please?’ Will nodded and without asking any further questions, he left the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

The phone rang three times before Hailey answered. ‘Will? Why are you calling me so early, it’s six thirty.’

‘it’s not Will, it’s me.’ Y/N’s voice sounded more insecure than she wanted to, raising Hailey’s awareness.

‘Oh, hi, sweetie. What’s wrong?’ Hailey’s voice was already filled with concern, something Y/N appreciated about her. Hailey took care of Y/N as if she were her own sister.

‘Hailey..’ the girl breathed in deeply, thinking of a way to tell her her suspicions. ‘My period is a week late and I’m feeling nauseous and I just threw up. I’m scared and I don’t want to tell Will.’ Her breath hitched halfway through her sentence, making the girl realise how scared she actually was.

Y/N could hear Hailey talking to someone on the other side of the phone and then she could faintly hear her walking away, indicating that she was already, or still, at work. ‘Y/N, are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?’

The youngest Halstead nodded and realised that Hailey couldn’t see it. She tried to talk to her but she couldn’t find the words, tears running down her cheeks instead.

‘Y/N?’ asked a even more concerned Hailey. ‘Are you there?’

The girl sobbed and breathed out a shaky ‘yes’.

The other end of the line got quiet for a couple of seconds, making Y/N wonder if Hailey was going to be mad at her. She knew her brothers were going to kill her and she could handle that but she could never handle an angry Hailey. She was the only one she actually felt like talking to about girl problems. After a moment, the woman’s voice sounded through the phone again. ‘Who’s is it?’ she asked.

Y/N sobbed again, feeling ashamed that she even had to tell this. It was embarrassing. ‘It’s Marcel’s.’

‘Wait, the Marcel?’ asked Hailey. ‘The one your brother’s told you not to see anymore?’

The girl felt even more scared now, making more tears run down her cheeks. ‘Yea, that Marcel.’ She could hear a sigh coming from the other end of the phone.

‘You know I can’t talk you out of this, right?’ The detective ran a hand over her face thinking about how she was going to help her fiancé’s sister. ‘Have you taken a test yet?’

‘No,’ answered Y/N with a shaky breath.

‘Okay, my shift ends in two hours. I will pick one up from the pharmacy and then I will help you out, okay? Promise me you won’t tell anything to Will yet. I won’t tell Jay either until we know for sure, alright?’

The young girl agreed and shakily hung up the phone. She couldn’t even imagine how her brothers would react. Frankly, she didn’t even want to know.

Two and a half hours later Hailey walked in alongside Jay who tossed his keys on the kitchen counter. ‘I heard my sister was sick,’ he said as he made his way over the girl who was sat on the couch, buried in a warm blanket.

‘Her temperature hasn’t gone up anymore, but she’s still not feeling well,’ Will said as he laid his hand on his sister’s head again to check her temperature.

‘I’m fine you guys,’ the girl said as she looked at Hailey who nudged her head towards the bathroom. ‘I have to use the bathroom.’

Without looking at the two men, she quickly made her way over towards the bathroom where Hailey was already waiting for her. She was holding a pregnancy test in her hand and looked at the young girl with pity in her eyes.

Y/N sighed heavily as she ran her hands through her hair. ‘Alright, let’s get this over with.’

‘Do you know how to take this test?’ asked Hailey as she gave the test to the girl who took it with shaking hands.

‘Yea, you just pee over this stick right? And then it will tell you if you are..’ she swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat ‘pregnant or not.’

‘That’s right,’ Hailey placed her hand on Y/N’s shoulder, squeezing it softly before walking out of the room. ‘I will wait for you outside the door.’

The youngest Halstead nodded and took the test. She had to wait for a couple of minutes before she got the results. She had a gut feeling, however, that she already knew what the test was going to say. She invited her brother’s fiancé back in the bathroom when the test had the results ready.

‘I don’t want to check,’ she said with a shaky breath. ‘I feel like I already know what the result’s going to be.’

Hailey looked at the girl with sympathy and asked if she had to check the results. Y/N nodded and fearfully looked at the woman’s expression when she read the results.

As soon as she met Hailey’s eyes, she burst out in tears. The blonde detective spread her arms, inviting the girl for a hug, which she immediately accepted.

‘I can’t believe it!’ she cried. ‘Jay and Will are going to kill me. They will never let me see another boy ever again, hell, they won’t even let me out of the house ever again.’

‘Let’s not think about that right now,’ she rubbed the girls back as she tried to think of how they were going to handle this. ‘There is one more important thing you should consider right now.’

Y/N let go of her brother’s fiancé and wiped away her tears. ‘And that is?’

Hailey sighed and took a second to answer. ‘You know it’s not a good idea to keep it. But the decision is yours to make. Do you want to keep the baby?’

The youngest Halstead sighed heavily and started crying again. ‘I don’t know!’ she sat down on the toilet and rested her head in her hands. ‘I don’t know, Hailey!’

‘I know it’s a tough decision to make, Y/N, especially at your age. But I guess you can already tell what your brothers are going to say. I want you to make this decision on your own and I want you to know that whatever you decide, I will stand by you.’ She took a hold of Y/N’s hands and squeezed them softly.

‘I guess it’s time to tell them, isn’t it?’ the young girl asked as she looked at the woman in front of her.

‘You have to tell them today, but take as long as you need. I’m here with you.’

‘Thanks, Hails.’ Y/N smiled softly at Hailey, being glad that she could soon call her her sister in law.

After about an hour sitting in the bathroom, the two walked towards the living room where Jay and Will were sat on the couch, watching a hockey game.

‘There you are,’ Jay said as he paused the game. ‘You have been in there for over an hour, what happened?’

Hailey stood next to Y/N, squeezing her shoulder ever so slightly in a poor attempt to calm the now anxious girl down again. The girl knew she had to say something but the words didn’t come. Instead she started crying again, surprising herself that she still had tears in left in her body after all that crying she did today.

Both of her brothers got up form the couch and walked over to her, worry plastered on both of their faces. ‘Y/N, what’s going on?’ Will asked cautiously.

‘I-I have to tell you something,’ she said in between sobs as she started fumbling with the sleeves of her sweater.

She didn’t dare to look the two men in the eyes so she kept looking at their feet instead. She noticed Jay crossing his arms over his chest, which never meant anything good. After a long silence, except for Y/N’s sobs, Jay spoke up again. ‘Y/N, tell us what’s going on.’

‘Erm,’ she started.

‘And look at me,’ the detective added in a strict tone that she never dared to disobey.

The girl slowly looked up, meeting her brother’s green and worried eyes. ‘Well, I, erm..’ she wiped away a tear from her cheek before continuing. ‘Do you remember Marcel?’

‘That boy you fucked in our apartment without telling us?’ Will said while crossing his arms too. ‘We remember him damn well.’

‘Well, erm,’ Y/N lowered her gaze at their feet again, feeling the nausea kicking in again.

‘Damn it, Y/N, just tell us!’ Jay started to lose his patience and took a step towards her.

‘Guys,’ Hailey the two men in front of her and Y/N, while putting and arm around her. ‘Give her some time,’

‘Fine, sorry.’ Jay scoffed and waited for his sister to speak.

‘I, erm,’ the girl sobbed again but continued her story, ‘you told me that he wasn’t welcome in here anymore, so we thought that we could still see each other at his place.’

‘You slept with him again?’ Will asked as he took a step forward too.

‘Well, yes, and I erm..’ she looked at Hailey for a second, who nodded to encourage her to keep on talking. ‘I don’t really have a fever, it’s just that..’

‘ARE YOU PREGNANT?!’ shouted Will as he took another step forward and grabbed her arms.

‘Will,’ warned Hailey but she couldn’t be heard because Jay started yelling too.

‘Are you fucking kidding me? Hailey are you supporting her?’ he looked at his fiancé as if she had murdered someone.

‘I am not okay with her being pregnant, Jay, but I am supporting her because this is more difficult for her than you think.’

‘We are going to med right now,’ Will grabbed his keys from the table and grabbed Y/N’s coat before shoving it into her hands. ‘You are going to get this thing removed.’

‘Don’t push her, Will,’ Hailey grabbed the coat from the poor girl’s hands and grabbed Will’s keys from his hands as well. ‘She doesn’t know what she wants yet.’

‘She doesn’t know?’ Jay’s voice sounded so calm it even made Hailey get goosebumps. ‘What do you mean she doesn’t know? She is only sixteen years old. She isn’t capable of raising a child. She is still a child herself.’

‘She knows, Jay,’ Hailey said. ‘But it is a living being inside of her. It’s not only hard for her physically but mentally too. Please, let her think about it.’

‘No, they’re right,’ Y/N said softly, making everyone turn towards her. The girl looked up and looked each and every one of them in the eye. ‘I know what I did and that I shouldn’t have done it. This is my punishment for being so stupid.’ She looked at Jay and sighed. ‘You are right. I am not capable of raising a child. I should get it removed.’

‘Won’t you at least think about this for a week?’ asked Hailey. ‘You should discuss this with Marcel too.’

‘Marcel doesn’t have a say in what happens to our sister,’ Jay interrupted his fiancé.

‘Well, actually he does,’ said Will who was a little more calm than he was before. ‘She should tell him about it. It is his child too.’

‘How about we let Y/N think for a while and let her call him when she comes to a conclusion?’ asked Hailey.

‘I would like that,’ said Y/N softly as she looked up at her future sister in Law who in return smiled at her.

‘Fine,’ Jay scoffed again and turned to his sister. ‘But don’t you think there aren’t any consequences, young lady.

‘I understand,’ nodded Y/N. ‘Do I have to go to my room?’

‘No , you can sit with us. But only for today. You will be grounded though, and we will take your phone and call Marcel’s parents.’ Will said as he made his way over towards the couch.

‘And you will either go to the district or to med when you’re out of school, you understand?’ added Jay quickly.

‘I understand,’ said Y/N. ‘Thank you for letting me think about it.’

‘Of course,’ Jay put a hand on Y/N’s shoulder, ‘even though we’re mad at you, we still want you to feel alright. You’re still our sister and we want what’s best for you.’

Y/n smiled softly and spread her arms to hug her brother, who gladly accepted. ‘Thank, you Jay. I love you.’

He placed a kiss on her head ‘I love you too, munchkin.’

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burgesskims · 2 years

Photo

BURZEK APPRECIATION WEEK

Day 5: Favorite underrated moment - 8x10

#kim burgess #adam ruzek #burzek #chicagopd #chicago pd #mine.#dailyburzek #burzekaw22 #user.ciara #usersole #lindsayerins #atangela #atjess

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chicago-pd-is-weird · 9 days

Text

Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader

TW: main theme of eating disorders, reader has a panic attack

Requested by: @sorry-i-spaced

You walked into the bullpen, settling down at your desk for the day. You'd gotten there fairly early, early enough to be the only one there, aside from Adam. Seeing as he'd been having issues at home, he seemed to spend more and more time at work. You nodded to him. "Hey Adam, good morning."

"Morning, (Y/N)," he responded, humming as he looked up from the computer. "You're in early."

You shrugged. "I could say the same thing about you." You shook your head, getting logged on to the computer and working on some reports you had in your desk tray.

A few moments later, Adam scoffed at something on his computer, making your eyes jump up to him. He looked to you. "You see these new dieting trends?"

You took in a short breath, but shook your head, trying to play it off as you looked back down. "No, I don't follow that stuff."

Anymore.

Sometimes you missed it, in a way. You didn't miss the suffering, the growl of your empty belly, or the feeling of eating only lettuce for lunch. But you missed feeling skinny. You missed being able to fit in a size 2 pant and an XS tshirt. You missed getting compliments, people asking if you'd lost weight, and bonding with people over it. It was so unhealthy, and yet, you'd made multiple 'friends' that way.

"It says here a juice clense and intermittent fasting can help you lose twenty pounds within a month. That's insane!" Adam laughed.

"Yeah," you mumbled, trying to seem as disinterested as possible. You remembered all of your therapy techniquies, trying to calm yourself down and tune Adam out. He dropped it for a while, just scoffing at his computer every now and then as he seemed to deep-dive on some articles. Obviously, he had too much time on his hands. You wished Voight was there to assign the man some work.

An hour or so later, the others started to pile in. Hailey arrived and so did Antonio, the two of them chatting about boxing or something of the like. You hadn't really been paying attention, until Adam spoke up again. "Hey, guys, look what we found earlier."

We? No, not we. You.

You huffed, trying not to let Adam get to you. It was just a touchy subject. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know, but it hurt you nevertheless. You just wanted the conversation to be over.

"Juice clense and fasting?" Antonio shook his head. "Nah, they got it all wrong. If you're going to diet, you have to go Keto."

"Antonio, that's so 2009," Adam mocked, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, Laura was on it for a while," he shrugged. "I think she lost a few pounds, but she gave it up after a while. It's hard to just cut out certain things."

"How about we cut out this conversation?" You growled from your desk, not looking up. "Bad for your health."

"Yo, (Y/N), what's your problem?" Adam asked, all three of them looking to you. "Not like we're actually doing it. Just talking."

"Yeah, well, some people do it. It's not funny, either." You looked up with the hardest glare you could muster, hoping your eyes weren't glossed over with tears.

Hailey, who hadn't truly joined the conversation until now, looked to Adam. "She's right, you shouldn't even be looking at that stuff at work. They're all gossip articles." She shrugged and moved to her own desk to get busy. Anotnio went to his own desk too, leaving Adam alone with your glare.

Jay walked in just a moment after, looking around at the silence in the bullpen, then sitting at his own desk. Kim and Kevin soon followed suit, walking in and chatting about some new trend on TikTok. You ignored everyone, just keeping your head down and finishing your case reports. Then, you went to the bathroom. When you came back, you could hear Adam talking to Hailey about you, wondering what was the issue.

Since you'd been dating Jay, Hailey had become like a sister to you. Hailey was practically ignoring Adam's asks. "Come on, Hailey, what's her problem today? She's been grumpy since she came in. Jay? Did you not satify her last night or something?"

"That's enough, Adam," Hailey huffed, shaking her head. "I don't know what's going on, but it's obviously none of our business if she didn't tell us. Drop it."

"Adam, dude, shut up for once in your life," Jay chimed in, shaking his head. "Just let it be. If you pissed her off, she'll come talk to you later."

"Dude, what did I do? All I wanted was to make conversation," Adam huffed. "Why did she come in so early anyways, huh? Did you piss her off first and she's taking it out on me?"

Jay stood from his desk. "Alright, shut up right now, Ruzek, or I'll lay you out in the middle of the bullpen."

Adam stood from his desk, huffing. "Yeah, I'd like to see you try, Halstead."

"Alright, that's enough," Antonio said, standing himself. "I'll lay the both of you out on your asses if you don't both sit down and shut up." He shook his head. "Ruzek, why don't you go check on this?" Finally, someone had found Ruzek something to do. You thanked your lucky stars Antonio was there. He had always stood up for you, even if you weren't close friends. Antonio handed Adam a paper with about twenty names. "Take Kevin with you."

Kevin looked up. "Hey, what did I do to deserve that?"

"Nothing," Anotnio said with a shrug. "It's not a punishment for you. Just go, now."

The two men looked at one another, then left together down the stairs. You sighed in soft relief, still standing against the doorway back into the bullpen. You looked at the four people left, nodding as Hailey met your gaze. You sat back down at your desk as if nothing had happened. You were relieved not only to have some peace and quiet, but to have the instigator removed. Adam wasn't a bad guy, but he was definitely still immature, being practically the youngest on the team. He didn't know how to pick up on social cues the way Hailey or Antonio did. It was his biggest downfall.

Some time later, Voight came into the office, having been at a ComStat meeting all morning. He looked around, seeing the silence, then hummed as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "So, I'm two officers down and the rest of you are silent? What's going on?"

Antonio looked up. "I sent them out to drop anchor on some streets we suspect trafficking patterns run through. Do we have a case?"

"No," Voight said, humming and looking to you, Jay, Hailey, and Kim. "What about the rest of you?"

"Finishing some reports, Sarge," Jay said, motioning to the stack on his desk.

"I'm helping with that," Hailey confirmed.

"Filing," Kim said from the filing cabinets near Antonio.

"I just finished my reports a few mintures ago," you said with a shrug. "If there's anything I can help with, let me know."

Voight hummed, then nodded and walked through to his office, motioning Antonio with him. The two shut the office door and talked, but they couldn't be heard behind the wood and glass encasing Voight's desk. You hummed and moved over to Jay's desk. "Need another hand?"

Jay hummed. "No, I think we've got it." Kim moved past the two of you to hit the restroom, leaving you and Jay and Hailey in the bullpen alone. "You okay?" Jay asked softly. "Listen, I know with this morning and everything, and I don't know what Ruzek did but-"

"It's fine," you cut him off with a soft sigh. You hadn't wanted conversation, you'd wanted work.

"It doesn't seem fine," Jay protested, putting a gentle hand on yours. "And about this morning-"

"You wouldn't understand," you mumbled, pulling your hand away. You didn't want to talk about the morning or about Adam. You just wanted to distract yourself.

Jay thought for a moment, ready to protest before realization washed over his face. "Oh... Did Adam say something about your body?"

"No, no, he..." You sighed. "It's fine. It's all fine, Jay."

"He was talking about some new diet fads or something," Hailey chimed in softly, meeting Jay's eyes and giving him a look.

Jay nodded to Hailey, then looked back to you. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

You shook your head and went back to your desk, trying to work on your therapy techniques again, then left your desk to go to the locker room without a word.

"(Y/N)," Jay said softly, a soft hand placed on your cheek. He ran his thumb over your cheekbone, which was fairly prominent. You pulled away slightly.

"S-Stop, you'll ruin my makeup."

"You don't need the makeup or the diet. You are beautiful."

"You'll never understand, Jay. Society just doesn't treat men the same way." You sighed wiping the tears from your eyes as you pulled on the pants. You'd been trying to get into the size 0 pants for as long as you could remember, and it was frustrating you that you couldn't get them completely on or buttoned.

"This isn't healthy for you, (Y/N). You don't need to be a size 0 to earn my love."

You let out a scream of frustration when you couldn't pull the pants up all the way. "Fuck! I'm just not losing enough weight!"

"(Y/N), please, please listen to me," Jay begged, walking over and prying your hands off the jeans. "This isn't healthy. You're not healthy. Please, stop trying to be like this. I love you, and I always will no matter what. You could be a size 100 and I would still love you."

You clung to the jeans like they were your life force, but when Jay finally got your hands off them, you hit his chest, then clung to him, sinking into his arms and to the ground. He knelt with you, holding you tightly to his chest, stroking your hair and rocking you slowly.

"I hate myself..." you mumbled. "I hate my body... I'm not skinny enough..."

"That's not true," Jay whispered in reply. "Your body doesn't define who you are... Running ten miles a day and starving yourself isn't healthy. If you don't stop, you won't have a body to hate, and I won't have anyone to give my love to."

You sobbed into his shoulder, still clenching fistfulls of his shirt. Finally, he coaxed you out of the state you were in, took the pants off you, and helped you into some sweatpants that were a size 4, which were big on you at that point. He picked you up with concerning ease and took you to the living room, settling you down and kissing your face. A bit later, he brought in some food he'd made, some chicken and gravy and biscuts with vegetables mixed in. Then, he sat beside you and handed you a small plateful. As much as he wanted to give you a normal or even large portion, he knew it wouldn't be right. He knew you had to start small. "Here," he said softly.  "You don't have to eat all of it, but can you please at least eat a few bites?"

You sighed, but nodded. Jay had been so gentle with you and never really frustrated. He hadn't seen how bad it was until you'd started dating a few weeks back. It hurt him to see you like this, you could see it in his eyes, but you didn't know any different. High school had ruined you, and you'd been spiraling out of control since then. You took a bite of the delicious food Jay had made. You had to force yourself to do it, but the smile that came to his face when you did was more than enough to get you to take another. You loved him, truly, and wanted to get better, for him.

You sighed as you sat in the locker room, trying to keep yourself from crying too loudly. It had gotten to you. You now wore a size 8, and were in a generally healthy state. Sometimes you'd forget to eat or skip meals because you were working, but Jay always made sure to catch you if that happened.

You were terrified now, because the fight that morning had really hurt you and then you'd taken it out on Adam. It wasn't his fault, but he had triggered a fight or flight within you. You swallowed hard and tried to breathe, feeling a panic attack coming on. You moved to the wall shakily and sat down, just in case you passed out. You tried to control your breathing, breaking out into sobs.

"(Y/N), it's been forever since we had a night out. Come on, let me take you out to a fancy restaurant or something."

"Jay, I hate fancy restaurants." You rolled your eyes with a small huff. "What's wrong with having a night in?"

"We just go to work and come home. We never go out together."

"We go to Molly's all the time. More than I'd like to. I'm practically an alcoholic because of you, and it makes me gain more weight." You huffed and turned from the counter to look at him. "I never drank before I met you. Now we're there like every other night. Sometimes more."

"Well, yeah, because we never go anywhere or do anything. I can't be cooped up all the time."

You shrugged. "Then go out and do things. I don't see the problem."

"The problem is I'm not doing them with you. I want to do things with you, (Y/N)."

“And you know I hate going out. People look at me funny.”

“No they don’t!” Jay raised his voice at you. “And even if they were, you know I’m here for you! I’d never let anyone get away with hurting you!”

“Jay!” You yelled, huffing again. “I’m too fat to ever look good going out! I don’t want to go to some fancy restaurant and wear a dress! My makeup never looks right and I look dumb!” You slammed down the plate with your toast on it, shaking your head. “Forget this! I can't eat breakfast in peace even if I wanted to!” You grabbed your jacket, badge and keys, leaving from Jay’s apartment, despite his protests and apologies. You ignored him, then left for the district, the only other place you felt safe outside of your own apartment.

You tried to breathe deeply, but it was so hard. Between your fight with Jay and the ordeal with Adam, you just wanted to shrink into a ball and disappear. You sobbed, trying to keep yourself quiet as you spiraled into your own mind and thoughts.

Suddenly, there was a hand gripping your arm. "Breathe, breathe, (Y/N)," came a familiar woman's voice. You looked up, seeing Hailey through your tears. "Breathe in, as deep as you can. Come on, I've got you."

You breathed in as deeply as possible, but it wasn't deep enough. You breathed out, but back in fairly quickly, trying to catch that deep breath you desparately needed.

"Good, good," Hailey cooed. "Good, (Y/N), breathe."

With Hailey's help, you calmed down within a few minutes. You were able to breathe again, although your head was spinning. You looked up at Hailey, who simply held you by the shoulders now. You sniffled and nodded to her. "Thanks..." you mumbled.

"(Y/N), I've never seen you like this. What's going on? What happened this morning?"

You swallowed hard, getting up with her help and steadying yourself. You sighed, shaking your head. "Jay and I... We're just different. I don't like to be around people, you know? Not in public or at fancy places. I just want to be with him or my friends, like you. People I know won't judge me..." You shrugged.

"Judge you for what?"

Tears came back to your eyes as you wrapped your arms around yourself. "For... For my body..." you mumbled.

"What do you mean, (Y/N)? None of us would judge you based on how you look."

"I-I was really bad for a while... Before I met Jay, and before he helped me get into intelligence... Before I met you..." You sighed shakily, looking to Hailey. "I just... I had a really bad disorder..."

Hailey seemed to understand a bit, nodding. "We would never think of you as anything less than what you are: smart, confident, beautiful. I know Jay feels that way, and so does everyone else in the unit."

"It's all fake," you mumbled.

"Fake it until you make it," Hailey replied with a hike of her shoulders. "Maybe you can compromise with Jay on this. He wants to go out, you want to stay in, maybe there's some kind of middle ground."

"Like what?"

She hummed, thinking for a moment before nodding. "I'll tell Jay what I'm thinking, and you give it a chance, okay?"

You looked to Hailey, skeptical of whatever it was, but nodded. "Alright..."

"And about Adam?"

You sighed. "I was... I was stressed from this morning with Jay and on top of that, he was talking about diet culture and... Those were the types of articles I read about in tabloids in high school... You know, the fads? I didn't... I couldn't listen to that. After this morning, I-I just wanted to leave and be safe, and then I felt attacked again, like temptation to go back to that place... I don't know... It just hit somewhere too close to my soul." You sighed. "I'll apologize when I see him next, I-I just couldn't take his constant talking this morning."

"Hey, we all have a hard time tolerating him on a regular basis, let alone with you going through something like this. You don't have to apologize; you were only defending yourself."

You shrugged again. "I was still mean. I'll apologize and just tell him it bothers me."

"Okay," Hailey said with a small nod. "Alright. Do you need another minute?"

"No, I'm good." You stood, wiping your face and then taking a deep breath.

Adam and Kevin came back in after lunchtime. You hadn't moved from your desk for lunch but, like most days, Jay had left with Hailey to get lunch and come back with a to-go container with a small meal in it. Jay walked in and set it on your desk, then leaned down and gave you a small kiss to your temple before returning to his desk without a word. You nodded a small thanks as you looked up at him, then your eyes returned to your paperwork. You typically did this, either ate in the office or not at all. You used to leave the office to eat in your car, but as you gained relationship with the team, you became more comfortable eating lunch around them.

After Jay came in and everything was settled, everyone went back to their respective "busy work," seeing as there just wasn't a case to handle that day. Even Sergeant Voight looked bored, eyes glazed over as he stared at the computer in his office.

You looked up to Adam, waiting for the right time. He looked up and caught your eyes, you silently nodding to him and getting up, moving toward the interrogation rooms. As you moved into the viewing room, Adam was on your heels. "Hey, look, (Y/N), what happened this morning-"

You shushed him, shaking your head with a soft sigh. "I wanted to apologize. I was very rude toward you. It's just that... Things... Things like that bother me. Stuff about eating and diet culture and that kind of stuff... I just don't like it, okay?"

Adam's eyes softened a little as he looked at you. "(Y/N), I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"I was taking my anger out on you this morning, and it wasn't right, and I am very sorry, Adam. Look, you're a good guy and I shouldn't have been so rude to you, no matter what I felt."

Adam nodded and put a soft hand on your shoulder. "I'm sorry too, I didn't realize it was making you upset. I need to do better with that stuff. I shouldn't have been talking about it, and I won't again. I understand now that it's a touchy subject for you. I didn't mean to upset you. Again, I'm sorry."

You nodded and offered a small smile. "I'm glad it's all okay now."

"Me too." He pulled you into a short embrace, squeezing you softly. "And hey, for what it's worth, you look nice today."

You laughed, snorting a little at his remark. "Is that all, Ruzek?" You punched his shoulder. "Get out of here."

He chuckled and put his hands up, walking backwards and out the door, back toward the bullpen. You took the chance to use the bathroom before going back as well, sitting at your desk and finishing up your tasks while eating your lunch.

When the day came to a close, you stood and grabbed your jacket, looking to Jay as he approached your desk. "Hey," he said softly, low enough that the others wouldn't be able to hear. "Let's get out of here. We'll make a stop at your place, then I want to take you somewhere."

You sighed a little at the thought, glancing to Hailey who smiled and nodded at you, then looking back to Jay. His puppy-dog eyes pleaded you to say yes. You finally nodded. "Alright. You can follow me home. I'll just park and change, then I'll be back out to meet you."

"Perfect, I'll stop at my place on the way to grab a few things and meet you there." Jay smiled softly, glad you'd agreed to it.

When you got into Jay's truck outside your house, you hummed. "So, what is Hailey's crazy plan this time?"

Jay smiled and shook his head. "It's a surprise. I can't tell you yet."

You looked to him. "You're not taking me anywhere fancy, are you? Cause I dressed in sweats for a reason."

He laughed, looking over at you and grabbing your hand. "I would take you anywhere in sweats. You're beautiful no matter what."

You couldn't help but smile, bringing his hand up to your mouth and kissing his knuckles. Despite your disagreements, you loved Jay with your whole heart. No argument, despite how much it affected you, would ever change the love you held for him. He pulled your hand toward him as he drove, reciprocating the kiss to your knuckles. You smiled again, moving across the center console to lean against him. You just wanted to be close to him, and you hoped wherever he was taking you would allow you to do that.

You rode beside Jay in gentle silence for a while as he finally turned into a fast food place. You furrowed your eyebrows, sitting up in your seat and looking up at him. "A fast food place?"

"This isn't our final stop, just stay here a second." He got out of the truck, leaving you inside. Truthfully, you were fine with being in the truck as opposed to inside the store, but you missed Jay's warmth sitting beside you. In his place, you turned on the heater and let the vents circulate hot air into the car. You hummed at the warmth, closing your eyes and leaning your head back. Jay came back about ten minutes later, a bag in hand. He set it in the back set before getting in and kissing your cheek. "Alright, ready?"

"Yeah," you replied, still soaking in the heat. Jay rolled down his window, allowing you to keep the heat on while he stayed a bit cooler. You didn't mind, as it also circulated in some fresh air. It was nearly fall, so the nights were getting cooler, but not cold yet.

Some time later, you noticed Jay had taken you to the outskirts of the city. He parked his truck at a local park, away from the hustle and bustle. You furrowed your brow as he turned off the truck, the heat leaving you. You looked to him for an explanation, but he didn't say anything. He simply smiled as he got out, moving to your side to help you out (which you didn't need, but it wasn't unwelcomed). He then helped you up onto the bed of the truck, following. He had a goofy grin on his face as he laid out several pillows and blankets, enough for the both of you to be comfortable and warm. Then, he grabbed the food from the cab and laid it out, helping you to sit down. "Ta-da," he said with a small grin.

You couldn't help but smile at his smile, shaking your head. "A truck bed dinner and cuddling?"

"This way, we're alone and can eat and lay here in peace, together, but we're also not at home."

You hummed. "Hailey is a genius."

He laughed and nodded. "Yeah, she's pretty great for coming up with this one. And best part is, we can go anywhere, so I'll never get tired of being in the same place, but you'll always be comfortable."

You smiled again, this time wider. "Yeah, this is perfect."

"I'm glad you think so." He motioned to dinner. "Now eat, and then we can lay back and watch the stars."

You scooched over to be closer to him, leaning into his side as you ate, humming. "It's perfect, Jay."

He rubbed your back, kissing the top of your head. "Anything for you, beautiful."

#chicago pd #x reader #fanfiction requests #chicagopd #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #detective jay halstead #cpd

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