#mental expansion

[yoga-onion]

The Quest for Buddhism (118)

Buddhist cosmology

[Spinoff] Transcendental Meditation – One of the modern meditation methods.

As a comparison and contrast to Vipassana meditation (Ref) as an alternative medicine, we would like to mention Transcendental Meditation of Hindu origin.

Transcendental Meditation (TM) is a form of silent mantra meditation technique derived from the Vedas, made known in the mid-1950s by Indian Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Maharishi summarised and presented the Vedic teachings in a form that was understandable to Westerners, using scientific language.

Advocates of the Transcendental Meditation movement (TM) claim that the technique promotes a state of relaxed awareness, stress relief, and access to higher states of consciousness, as well as physiological benefits such as reducing the risk of heart disease and high blood pressure.

Transcendental Meditation is said to foster a higher consciousness and improve one's luck (described as receiving nature's support). When done in groups, it is said to promote very powerful attunement, creating harmony and positive influences in the environment (making the world a better place).

The connection between mantra and meditation is considered a "scientific technique" and is called the "science of creative intelligence. It is said to develop latent abilities, drawing out vitality, intelligence, and fulfillment, and even "transcending" thought. Maharishi states that "transcendence" is the transcendence of the mind over thought, the turning of the mind inward, beyond thought, beyond the conscious mind, to experience pure consciousness which being absolute bliss consciousness, totally unchanging and eternal. The "ultimate goal" of transcendental meditation is "God-realisation," the realisation of the value of "God" within oneself, and the attainment of God-consciousness.

Building on the teachings of his master Brahmananda Saraswati (known honorifically as Guru Dev), the Maharishi taught thousands of people during a series of world tours from 1958 to 1965, expressing his teachings in spiritual and religious terms.

Many celebrities and celebrities such as the Beatles studied Transcendental Meditation during this period, and its influence on the subculture was significant. It is known to have had a major influence on musicians during the Flower Movement, and among hippies in the 1960s, 'meditation' and 'zen' were seen as techniques that could provide similar psychedelic experiences without the use of drugs.

They were loved by hippies as a method for 'mental expansion' and so-called 'opening the doors of perception', with Transcendental Meditation being described in the rock media as the most 'effective' and known amongst young rock lovers.

Beginning in 1965, the Transcendental Meditation technique has been incorporated into selected schools, universities, corporations, and prison programs in the US, Latin America, Europe, and India. The technique has still been included in a number of educational and social programs around the world.

仏教の探求 (118)

仏教の宇宙論

[番外編] 超越瞑想 〜 現代瞑想法の一派

代替医療としてのヴィパッサナー瞑想（参照）との比較対照として、ヒンデゥー教由来の超越的瞑想について触れておきたい。

超越瞑想 (ちょうえつめいそう、ﾄﾗﾝｾﾝﾃﾞﾝﾀﾙ･ﾒﾃﾞｨﾃｰｼｮﾝ:TM) は、インド人のマハリシ・マヘーシュ・ヨーギーによって1950年代に知られるようになった、ヴェーダに由来するマントラ瞑想法である。マハリシはヴェーダの教えを、西洋人にも理解しやすい形で、科学的な言葉を使って要約し紹介した。

超越瞑想運動 (TM) の提唱者は、このテクニックがリラックスした意識状態、ストレス解消、より高い意識状態へのアクセスを促進し、心臓病や高血圧のリスク軽減などの生理学的効果もあると主張している。

超越瞑想を行うことで、より高次の意識が育まれ、運がよくなる (自然の支援を受ける、と表現される) という。グループで行うと、非常に強力な同調を促し、環境に調和と肯定性の影響が生み出される (世界がより良くなる) という。

マントラと瞑想の結びつきは「科学的テクニック」とされ、「創造的知性の科学」と呼ばれる。これによって潜在的な能力を開発し、活力、知性、充足感を引き出し、さらには思考を「超越」させるという。マハリシは、「超越」とは、思考を超えた心の超越であり、意識を超え、純粋意識を体験するために心を内側に向けること、純粋意識は絶対至福意識であり、全く不変であり、永遠であると述べている。超越瞑想の「究極の目標」は「神の実現」であり、自らの内にある＜神＞の価値に気づき、「神意識」に到達するとされる。

マハリシは、師であるブラフマナンダ・サラスワティ (敬称はグル・デヴ) の教えを基に、1958年から1965年までの一連の世界ツアーで何千人もの人々に教え、その教えを精神的、宗教的な用語で表現した。

この時期、ビートルズなど多くの有名人や著名人が超越瞑想を学び、サブカルチャーに与えた影響は大きい。フラワームーブメントの時期のミュージシャンに大きな影響を与えたことが知られており、60年代のヒッピーの間では、「瞑想」や「禅」は薬物を使用せずに同様のサイケデリック体験ができるテクニックとして捉えられていた。

「精神拡張」、いわゆる「知覚の扉を開く」ための方法としてヒッピーたちに愛好され、中でも超越瞑想が最も「効く」とロック系のメディアで語られ、ロックを愛好する若者の間で知られていた。

1965年以来、超越瞑想法は、アメリカ、ラテンアメリカ、ヨーロッパ、インドの特定の学校、大学、企業、刑務所などのプログラムに取り入れられている。この技法は、現在も世界中の数多くの教育・社会プログラムに取り入れられている。

#transcendental meditation #modern meditation method #vedic tradition #hippie #matra #alternative medicine #mental expansion #flower movement #60s #meditation #psychedelic movement #philosophy #nature #art #history

[neptunejheart]

Expand your mind. Expand your comfort zone. Expand your view of yourself.

#growth #internal growth #mental growth #expansion #mental expansion #spiritual expansion #spiritual growth #growth mindset #affirmations #self concept #reminder

[squishysoftmonsters]

Triggers : Sexual Content/Belly Expansion/[Mature +18 Minors /Ageless DNI]

💚Imagine if your 7 evil exes were just chonk ghosts..and they strapped you spread open to a pole for them to freely pump you full of the pent up cream they've been wanting to fill you with for ages before you axed them,leaving you a gaping and drippy mess for other ex lovers in need of human holes to fill until you creak,gurgle and slosh from being repeatedly used.

Your brain got shut off after 7 evil exes...and there's several other throbbing ghouls in line. You couldn't use your words anymore or do anything else after becoming an obedient cum dump for all your ex lovers.💚

👻

#squishylovers #ghost nsft #ghost smut #ghost fucker #exophillia #smut imagine #belly expansion #monsterfucker #dumbification #free use toy #mentally fucked #full belly #monster chonk #monster fucker #monster smut

[histhoughtslately]

As soon as you move away from the wrong people, places and things; the right people, places and things start coming in…

#OutgrowingIsHealthy

#histhoughtslately #htl #life #life path #life quotes #mental health #self growth #growth #love #mindfulness #mindset #positive words #positive affirmations #mental heath awareness #spilled feelings #spilled ink #writing #lit #literature #self care #inspirational quotes #motivational quotes #black tumblr #empowerment #expansion #comfort zone #writing community #spilled writing #positive mental attitude #healthy lifestyle

[sarcasmprodigy]

I can finally die.

#splatoon 3 #splatoon #side order #side order spoilers #To finish a single chip you need to have five of that chip in one palette run #and to finish a match set you have to finish the chips in that set #and to finish a hue you have to finish all of the sets in that hue #and tjen finally. The little circle at the far right colors in #its a lot #but it looks nice. #i’m the same guy who finished every level with every weapon in the octo expansion for all the check marks #i’mm a little mental about completing things

[tarthole]

#and that is definitely 100 percent the only mental illness he has #definitely #amos burton #the expanse

[mosstrades]

Oh wait this is fucked up actually. Marcy grew up around Simon while he was actually already under the effects of the crown (both physically and mentally). He was already unraveling by the time they found each other, even if he still felt like he was 'himself', so Simon as we know him, regular-ass Simon, would be in ways a kind of stranger to her. Physically, in his appearance and presence decoupled from the effects of the crown; situationally, what with them not being in a barren wasteland and whatnot; emotionally and personally, with Simon maybe doing things or showing himself to be things that Marcy didn't know to expect. And add to that how much they've both changed over the course of their lives since they separated...

While Simon managed to see her life through Ice King's eyes for a while, I like to imagine the memory is fuzzy at best and entirely unreliable at worst, so — in a way, truly, their reunion is them getting to know each other all over again, in a new dynamic, but with the base of that same old, foundational relationship; that same old, old love.

And I'm so normal about it.

#(the reconnection of a grown up kid and her dad who she only knew as an active user after he gets out of rehab) who said that #<- projecting hard #adventure time #nick.txt #marceline abadeer #simon petrikov #fionna and cake #Do you think Simon has a strained relationship with self-expression and silliness after being IK. Do you think it makes Marcy think about #the Simon who raised her - always cracking jokes to help them both cope? #You ever think Marcy gets a bit weirded out by how... normal... post-canon Simon is. #Do you ever think Simon gets bouts of 'madness'* and she's like 'oh hey I know this guy'. #Do you ever think she tells childhood anecdotes from that time he wasn't there and he gets this heavy look of regret he cant quite hide-- #(at this point i have been shot with a tranquilizer dart) #*I think the relationship AT has with the complicated-ass concept of altered consciousness/'madness'/mental illness is really interesting #and has a lot of potential for expansion in fic #What with themes alienation from yourself and from others. What with the portrayal of what your being 'mad' 'does' to you/those around you. #What with themes of guilt and forgiveness and acceptance and responsibility and healing. #Like. If youre like me and you hc Simon as having a litany of mental struggles. At what point does that differ from #the magic-induced altered state? #and what does that look like and feel like? How does that affect himself and his connection to others? #I think its a very easily dismissed concept bc of how it brushes some pretty stank ableist tropes #but I also think it could be incredibly #resonant if treated skillfully and compassionately and realistically #to put it crassly #local man finally free of crazy-crown-curse discovers he has severe mental illness. like. the normal person kind. #has to deal with that. #tldr simon my friend simon my favorite he/she grandma who experiences psychosis <3 #and marcy my friend marcy my favorite she/they mitski stan who just wants love to surround her #the tags in this post are like three other posts. im right tho

[britney-tf]

CMSN- Treasured Moment

Maybe the real treasure is the euphemisms we made along the way... Commission for Monkeyspunk patreon.com/britneyTF If you wanna help me make more stuff : )

#tf #transformation #sequence #mtf #tftg #tg #mc #mental change #be #breast expansion #hypnosis

[aro-culture-is]

quick note - this blog is gonna be sparse again for at least this week. trying new medications and tbh initial side effects are not super pleasant + actual effects build up. as a result: currently as if unmedicated for mental health, with anxiety+ side effect, extra fatigue, dizziness, and fatigue. it's uh, sure something.

totally recognize that most of y'all know we're absent at times due to health things, just wanted to give a heads up that this one is at least anticipated.

#fun fact sometimes condensing meds just means poorer treatment of some conditions #this is a re-expansion + new thing #so that instead of poorly treating my mental health and using an unusually high dose SNRI for another (physical) condition #i will hopefully both be in less pain AND not depressed af AND also have an appetite again #i doubt i will be lucky and not have a fucked stomach due to meds but one can hope that an appetite will allow me to eat foods that upset #my stomach a lot less #my health is forever a massive balancing act #every time a medical thing is like 'so what meds do u take' i'm like here i wrote it down for u #and they're like 'oh. ooookay. let me just...' *five minutes of typing and clicking later* #'so! what did you come in for again? uhuh. you said you experience pain daily? with your chronic pain thing? hm. have you tried yoga?' #/gen #like. straight up every time i say 'i am in pain all the time due to fibromyalgia' they are like 'ooh studies say regular exercise helps' #and like. theoretically yes! but also. i would be lying if i said the fibromyalgia studies i've skimmed don't set off general 'bad science' #alarm bells in my brain #like... cool you performed a fibromyalgia study with... all male lab rats? mhmm? so are you aware fibromyalgia appears to occur #overwhelmingly in women? like. data seems to suggest between 70-85%? #(not that the data can't still indicate things but it certainly makes male rats a poor choice of model for tests on it) #also just... idk i've looked at some metaanalysis and been like 'okay cool theory and for all i know about human bio or bio in general that #sounds more or less correct BUT. you never discussed that one study on this subject that did NOT support your conclusion. #and that's 1) interesting when it was the most diverse group of subjects and the exceptions often teach just as much as the 'rule' #2) just shitty science. tell me how your theory is still credible when some evidence doesn't fit the model. #like... 'given that all other studies were primarily conducted on white american women in their 30s to 40s it is possible that this model #only explains (the early effects of fibro since that's a typical onset period) / (a possible genetic link primarily found in white women) / #(a possible sign of bias in diagnosis that demonstrates the possibility that there are different causes) / combinations of all of those #like... idk a paper that just throws out things that don't support it is a pretty big red flag #it doesn't mean the conclusion is entirely incorrect but it is often important to understand the context in which it applies #like... it's very easy to jump to an incorrect conclusion if you used something in the wrong context #ie: thumbs up is a good job / positive thing in a lot of western civilizations. teenage kee once went to china and discovered it to be #neutral to offensive in many areas outside of major tourist locations that were used to it #anyways i gotta sleep

[system-of-a-feather]

A Routine Self-Care / Healing Thing I Do

(And have done for a while. I'm mostly sharing it because I was thinking about it and its relation to other values and thoughts I have and felt like sharing it)

Temporarily denying access to a main coping tool

It sounds counter intuitive, but every so often - either when I want to develop myself more or when I feel like I am stuck for no particular reason and thus feeling as though my life has grown dull and empty - I look at what I spend most of my time doing, particularly to relax, and I say "hey for the next week, we aren't going to do that. Its still there, but that action is off limits" and I choose to limit the usage of whatever I usually spend my time doing

It can cause some stress and so I don't push myself to abide by it 100%, but I try to stick to it when I can, because I often find that when a dominating coping mechanism and time sink is removed, there opens up a vacuum and that vacuum serves to provide a lot of opportunity to introduce new habits, new skills, and see life in a more creative and open manner.

It causes a mild amount of adjustment stress, but so long as the coping mechanism is still there to return to (and you let yourself dabble if it ever gets too stressful with the interest of still minimizing usage) that adjustment stress is a small payment for experiencing new things and being able to expand the things that you can self sooth with.

Not only is this helpful for having diversified coping strategies and introducing healthier habits, but it also practices and helps reinforce to the emotional / trauma brain that sometimes when things that we love and are used to regularly using to sooth aren't available, that we are okay and able to manage with other coping tools - including ones we haven't acquired. It reinforces the idea that even without our familiar coping tools, the world has a lot of things out there that can fill the role as something soothing.

And when you practice the unavailability of preferred coping tools in a space where they aren't ACTUALLY 100% unavailable, you can practice and develop the tolerance to that lack of access in a space where you still have control how much you can tolerate

Then, when life makes it so that something you prefer to cope with is unavailable, you have built up a better relationship with yourself, the world, and coping to feel a little more safe waiting until your preferred coping is available again; because you do this regularly when the access is in your hands. You've survived it multiple times, because its just part of your daily life and practice. Sometimes you don't have what you usually use to meet your needs, and that's okay. There's plenty in the world out there.

#coping #mental health #mental health recovery #ptsd #did #actuallydid #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #coping skills #buddhism #zen buddhism #spoiler for those reading the tags #I realized this is something Ive been doing most of my healing journey that is very much rooted in a lot of zen buddhist principles #the idea that when we can find ourself numb and detatched or overstimulated and oversaturated with Stuff #that we get comfortable and attached to Stuff that we no longer really see the wide expanse of choices we have in existence #and thus every so often it is a good idea to remove excess #remove stuff and preferred attachments and just enjoy what is innate to your existence #what is innate to what is around you #and learn that there is always something in the world there to help you and make sure you are okay #buddhist rambles

[emblazons]

Thinking about Dion washing up on the shores of Ash (x), struggling with the burden of survival—how he’s quite literally standing in the wake of the ashes of his former life, revived from the death he expected and forced to face the ramifications of not only the destruction of his homeland & Sanbreque, but the world as he’d known it from the gilded confines of his royal cage.

Thinking about the way he would run across the wild wyvern tails Harpocrates showed him when he left the Hideaway expecting his end—how the victory he never expected coils and twists like dark tentacles within him, and every breath he takes is a reminder that he still feels undeserving of a good life, knowing he can never atone for the destruction left in Bahamut’s —Ultima’s—wake.

Thinking about how he is torn between wishing his death was the end of atonement and wishing he had not left Terence now that he knows he survives Origin—the way he is torn between his desire to return to what was once familiar, safe and constant and the way he knows he will never be the same man he was no matter how many times he might play out repairing the thing he knows he broke forever with Terence in the halls of Ran’Dellah (x).

Thinking about how he feels guilty for enjoying the fullness of the air without the weight of Bahamut in his chest, even as he misses the light of the dragon storming within every waking hour—how he feels more naked without the armor of Bahamut’s scales than he has ever before in his life, despite knowing that the humanity he so desperately longed for came at the expense of his dominance and the eikon of light.

—thinking about how all of this now pales when he looks at it in comparison to the optimism of the Phoenix himself; how Joshua, who has survived a certain death not once but twice in his identical 28 years, still ventures forward, determined to save others even as he desperately searches for both truth and his family, no matter how high the personal cost.

Thinking about how standing next to an equal in both rank and status—next to both a prince and fellow dominant—for the first time in his life both delights and challenges him in radically new ways; the way Joshua pushes, prods and demands of him in ways no one but his father ever dared, though with a touch of healing fire that permeates through the heart of him—bright enough to want to hide from, but not painful enough to burn.

Thinking about Dion dealing with the ramifications of his willingness to follow Joshua so easily—the way he can doubt, question and even disagree with the man before him and still desire to believe him, the same way he has since the minute Joshua entered that tent with nothing but a plucked white wyvern, a companion and a tale to tell about monsters and mothercrystals all the same.

Thinking about Dion thinking—how he must speak of his debts now that it is over...and figure out who he is now with all the feelings that living dredged up in the dragoon who met a phoenix’s end.

#phoenixflare #dion lesage #joshua rosfield #we've got a LOT of feelings about dion and phoenixflare tonight. I made tags about 'the fic I would if i could' and now...I'm so sorry lmao #this is literally just the mental expansion of the snippets you’ve been getting lately as well #guilt-ridden overthinker Dion my beloved #also...this doesn’t even have to be romantic which is my favorite part. they’re just entwined to an absurd point and I love it 😂 #will there be a Joshua companion piece one of these days? likely. but we’ll see how long it takes me to write it out lol #ffxvi #ffxvi gifs #my writing #...because it is kinda? #the me tag

[canon-divergence]

im fine

im ok

everything is going to be okay,,,,

useless asset.

cant even handle someone raising their voice past a certain volume.

worthless piece of scrap metal.

nobody cares about you or stupid little attention stunts.

just die.

#side order #splatoon 2 #splatoon 3 #splatoon 3 expansion pass #side order splatoon #splatoon #side order dlc #parallel canon #splatoon 3 side order #the intensifying harmony #man the out of nowhere mental breakdowns are sure getting out of hand lol - admin

[c-cw-f-saeko]

tell me your name (tesso and seonhee headcanons 2/3)

they moved out of the way so i could take a picture of mt. fuji -> loose recreation of this image 

hi !! i thought i’d finish this tesso and seonhee (separate and together) headcanon masterpost. it covers their individual backstory, how they met and how their relationship grew.

btw i made another headcanon masterpost about the liumang here 🤩 it wouldn't be a bad idea to read it before this one !

i warn that this is the ultimate yapping session LOL so it's long and very image heavy OOPS! there are more than 30 images, i wanted to add more but will stop there for now. check the bottom of the post for some straightforward headcanons (and a TLDR).

also, please pretend the entire timeline makes sense.....i won't beat myself over ageless characters not fitting 100% with documented events 😭 (imo seonhee is 34 and tesso is 37 currently) nvm my guess for seonhee but tesso is surely 37

also, the two fics i wrote heavily tie to this (don't mind the last one). i won't say you need to read them to understand, but i recommend reading them (BC I COOKED!) it'll be linked when needed.

- wang tielin

not completely accurate because he shouldn't have his scars but i'm too lazy to re-do the texture from scratch... sorry tielin 💔

birth name is wang tielin

born in japan. lived in the countryside with his uncle for the longest he could remember.

vowed to his childhood friend to live on the straight and narrow no matter what (hahaha)

a promise to keep was to become rich and share with their family when they grow up.

went to school just because, but had no plans nor dreams in particular. never stirred trouble.

was always kinda bland, but made an effort to become and dress "cooler" after coming to kamurocho (look at the fit please 😭 it was definitely a phase). this is part of the stuff tesso left behind (including his real name). would've preferred no one he knows today met him during that time.

zhao tried time and time again to make tesso show him pictures of him when he was younger but tesso claims to have none. zhao even got seonhee on the task and was ready to put down a good chunk of cash to make it happen. unfortunately for him, tesso was a nobody that truly came out of nowhere according to the geomijul (seonhee just lied 🤩 sorry tianyou).

-> long before the liumang

he came from some city in the country side where nothing really happens. his aunt and uncle took care of him and sent went to school. he was expected to take on his uncle’s restaurant since he was helping out from time to time and that’s what his uncle wanted anyway. 

how can i put it… as long he found a way to feed himself and have a roof over his head, he didn’t have a goal to attain (like a goal career or whatever). he had no aspirations as in “i guess i’ll live” 😍 

though, he had a close friend called liwei. they spent most of their time at school and outside together doing whatever. unlike tesso, liwei had big dreams of finally making it out go the “boring” countryside and establishing himself in a big city, becoming the wealthiest person of his family to provide for his parents. he had a passion about going to especially kamurocho because it was the complete opposite of their current lives. tesso's response to liwei was mostly -> “i support you!” he kinda admired liwei for having determined ambition. 

-> a bit before the liumang 

though, liwei ended up getting killed because a hit was ordered by a bunch of strangers on seemingly the wrong person. not a lot of clues were left behind, but tesso was adamant about it being a mistake since the two of them always swore on being on the straight and narrow (ironically).

so, tesso decided to leave his hometown in the countryside to find out what happened, who killed liwei and how the mix-up happened in the first place.

it lead him to many big cities (like kamurocho) though he navigated a bit clumsily with his words (talking a bit too carelessly about “i’m looking for such such that killed such and such, not knowing the type of place he was getting into), tesso ends up getting jumped by the local chinese mafia at least twice 😭 the clues he finds leads him into yokohama and bro gets jumped again 😭

all to figure out the true culprit was guys from yokohama's chinatown and going up front to them was the worst idea ever. instead, he joins the liumang (at first for refuge as outsider chinese people were vulnerable to trouble between seiryu/liumang and liumang/chinatown). then, in hopes of giving another meaning to his life and eventually seek justice for liwei’s murder.

-> in the liumang 

won't go too much in detail here, but tesso ends up being recruited personally by zhao as a liumang officer through a fight - given the exploit of him being able to scratch his jacket with his claws (and zhao scratched his face across his nose and cheeks with his sabre 😍)

- sakura, the number one hostess

long ago in kamurocho, seonhee used to be an hostess called sakura. remnants of the jingweon mafia rejected by mainland and local koreans (that later formed the geomijul) survived  the best they could with low-level information dealing. they used cabaret clubs to get info out of the local population. 

moving left and right with her mother, it was lucrative enough for her to be able to fend for the two of them — even if it was temporary, she would be doing it until they’d be able to find some sort of stability. 

eventually, the cabaret club was disbanded due to more prominent gangs taking over kamurocho, basically forcing the geomijul out of the city (to later end up yokohama).

in the move, the geomijul was very unstable; most members falling into despair as they were forced out of of home one more time.

seonhee was one of the few people to step up to rally the remaining people together. if they were wavering in the faith of surviving their predicament, the geomijul wouldn't even survive. she did everything she could to make sure fellow members wouldn't walk astray and find them a new home.

being one of people that proposed lodging the geomijul between the seiryu clan and the liumang and reprise their information dealing activities. it was through her sheer determination and in the success of securing the geomijul in yokohama that seonhee was made leader (despite being that young and a woman) jumping over all the oldheads.

fun fact, after leaving the cabaret club, she vowed to herself to never do that type of work ever again.

- meeting for the first time in kamurocho

bro came dressed like that to the luxury club 😭 first timer spotted!! fresh meat here!!!!!!

one promise he made to himself was to realize one of liwei’s dreams, no matter how futile it was. so, he gathered most of his money and decided to light it up for one night in kamurocho in his honour. he ended up going to the first cabaret club he laid eyes on - the one owned by the geomijul.

given the way he was dressed (lol) and the fact he had never been in the city before, seonhee (the number one hostess at the time) was tasked of  tending his table. she usually handled the most "suspicious" customers. 

that's what she thought at first, but past their initial talk, she really did find out he was just young random dude trying out the cabaret clubs for the first time. 

“is it your first time here?” “yeah, there isn’t stuff like this where i live” and so on. funny enough, he turned the conversation back on her a lot so she could ramble about the city and the type of work she did (life in the countryside is boring and uneventful anyway). it caused her to indirectly talk about the geomijul — tesso couldn’t know, her words still applied to the cabaret club dynamic. “the streets are competitive so we are working hard to stay on top!” and how teamwork was the most important thing at the end of the day, etc.

they had a good time talking and tesso was glad to find out city girls were so friendly. he had the impression that he’d be eaten alive, but he was doing ok so far. 

he touched briefly on the real reason he visited kamurocho (thought to himself it would defeat the purpose to not mention it). though, seonhee was smart to not make him linger on the subject by proposing to toast in his honor. tesso agreed, he was there to celebrate and she had made the right call. 

[sorry for the lack of continuity here but i can't being myself to write more atm. will evetually expand that part into a fic.]

- meeting for the second time in yokohama

tesso was always one of the officers zhao relied on the most. for example, he was leading the men sent by zhao after nanba through the city.

so, after mabuchi's overturned coup-d'etat and seonhee taking over the liumang, zhao named tesso as the most reliable man under him and could definitely provide great support in mending the geomijul and liumang together - zhao assured seonhee she could rely on tesso to bridge the two factions.

seonhee was quick to recognize tesso right away, thinking hard about where she had seen such a familiar face before - and the options were very little. it didn't take long for her to realize that it was the same guy she met at the cabaret club years ago. she thought about playing it cool and pretending they never met before, "he probably forgot anyway" and it's not like she looks exactly the same as she did. but she couldn't really shake off the possibility of him remembering. still, she plays it off in front of zhao

for as long as tesso remembers, the geomijul was a very secretive organization and most liumang didn't even know who the boss was and what they looked like. so he rolled with the assumption of having never met them before. so, of course, when he officially met seonhee for the first time, he didn't recognize her. at least at first 😭

- the underworld post mabuchi

because of fusion of the underworld, there was a lot of re-structuring to (such as combining certain cashflows, identifying businesses to assign new leaders to look after them, etc.) it was challenging especially after mabuchi basically left the liumang in shambles and with a lot of defecting members.

tesso helped out sorting out the mess with seonhee personally; it was easier to go through everything with someone that new the ordeal from top to bottom (thanks to zhao). the little time they had was dedicated to fixing the whole organization. at that time, seonhee relegated a lot of leading responsibilities to joongi while tesso did the same with his subordinates.

that's all it was; hours in a corner of the geomijul (usually in the middle of the night) sorting through hundred of files.

at first, it was awkward. tesso had never seen who led the geomijul before and the reality was very far from this expectations. starting at the fact he didn't even thought the geomijul had a woman at its head because of the rumours running the liumang. a detail zhao never bothered bringing up before they met.

zhao's funky and malleable nature was replaced by something more rigid, stern at times but always stood on business. it was different, but tesso went along with it. her style was definitely gonna bring the liumang and geomijul back on its feet.

still, he spoke to her with the same clumsiness as he did with zhao. distant in his words, just like a subordinate should be to its leader. she didn't mind, especially when she did most of the talking anyway.

that's how their routine was at the start: meet, sort documents, leave — there wasn't anything else more to it.

but, something didn't feel quite right.

the more he heard her talk, the more he was sure to have met her before. the words she used, her tone... it felt so familiar. and he had plenty of time to think about it. there was no doubt, she definitely was that girl from the cabaret club...

he kept it to himself and vowed to pretend he's mistaken. the last thing he could do was to bring it up first and be wrong. he would continue to behave the same as he ever did. given their circumstances, he could assume she had left her old life behind as well.

though, irony seeped from his pores, it was stronger than him. the coincidence was a bit humorous; the two of them meeting again with different names and under these unlikely circumstances. he kept his stun under wraps - or at least tried to.

from lingering gazes when she wasn't looking to the way she held herself, tesso recalled the selfless woman he met long ago in kamurocho. despite the heavy facade she always wore, she played it off well, how, in the midst of her words, always passed others before herself.

even with her bolder style, and it's not like she changed much: she was still as beautiful as ever and had that unwavering aura fit of a born leader.

perhaps, he had made his realization too obvious.

ever since zhao presented tesso to seonhee, she knew they had met before. thus, sat quietly with the intent of pretending she was someone else. however, tesso's demeanour changed out of the blue. he seemed a bit more awkward and careful in his words.

though, seonhee resigned on pretending. "tesso? is that how you call yourself these days?" shortly followed with his real name. she asks, chuckling a bit. perhaps, he could've picked something more subtle. he did abandon his birth name for this alias he wasn't really sure whom give it to him. but it doesn't really matter. it just meant was a completely different man now.

it was a bit ironic; they are able to have to shy laugh about it, the ice is starting to melt between them.

- the bridge between the geomijul and yokohama liumang

overall, the union between the geomijul and liumang was welcome by its members. given the situation they both were in - one left without a leader and the other very vulnerable to outside threats. it was worth leaving residual animosity behind and cooperate for the sake of keeping yokohama safe.

so, antagonists to seonhee taking over after zhao were far and between - mainly geomijul oldheads (like seo hancheol 😍 rip bozo) and the few remaining mabuchi enjoyers (like zheng because yes in this timeline bro didn’t get banished out of yokohama).

so, not only did tesso assist seonhee in the merge of the two groups, but he kinda became for the liumang what joongi is for the geomijul: the first commander under the leader and first rep for the liumang. so, in case of trouble or any reference needed from geomijul members, they could ask him if needed. tesso is known to get along with younger folks (canon) so it helps a lot!

overall, the underworld is structured like this:

- factions subordinates (tesso and the geomijul)

yeona calls tesso liumang oppa 😭 she's the one that got tesso to read manga

i feel like yeona would get along well with these two LOL she can get info on joongi from tesso since they work on another level (joongi hides his cringy side from his subordinates). also, she tends to tease seonhee a bit about not being single anymore 😭 in a little sister-big sister type of way. bc like it's not like they ever announced anything, but yeona just picks up on vibes like that 😭 there's banter between seonhee and her, but it's in good faith!! there are so little women in the geomijul, so yeona made sure to stick with

"seonhee unnie, that's your boyfriend isn't it?" she didn't say that, but her eyes kinda did 😭 yeona always knows when something is up about her big sister. this whole exchange happened while tesso was reading his notes LOL 😭

well kinda... because now that seonhee is taken, han-sama (joongi) can stop worrying about seonhee's relationship status.

- advisor to advisor (tesso and joongi)

"Tha- That's not possible! She couldn't have a boyfriend! Some random man from who-knows-where!?" (direct canon quote istg 😭)

"some random man from who-knows-where" that's literally what tesso was to joongi for awhile. 

of course, he knew tesso was one of the closest subordinates of zhao. but he wanted to dig out his history as much as he could before even asking zhao about it. surprise came when he didn’t find much out of the geomijul surveillance system — there was no way to know for sure how nor when he got in the city. however, joongi was adamant about not asking seonhee about it just yet. 

sure, tesso and seonhee never announced they were together (for a very long time). but joongi picked up the smallest changes of seonhee's demeanour and her mannerisms. she tried her best to conceal it, but nothing went past his eye. and it was very clear to him... seonhee was indeed dating that random man.

at first, it was veiled concern but joongi believed seonhee could do better. he thought seonhee could aim for someone more or at least just as good looking than him (im sorry LOL but exhibit A) and someone as refined as her and not so… contradictory in looks and personality (tesso looks rough with a lot of distinctive features but is rather simple). so, first impression wise, it was off to a rocky start. 

despite being the two most important members of the geomijul and liumang, joongi and tesso didn’t really get along. tesso thought joongi was arrogant and preferred dealing with his subordinates instead (like yeona with whom he was able to work well with). 

“don’t mind han-sama. he’ll get over it eventually…” tesso still has no clue what she means by that

the impression of tesso and joongi not getting along wasn't setting a good example for the fellow geomijul and liumang members. while tesso was unsure about the whole thing, joongi struggled moving on for a bit. even seonhee wasn't sure of what was going on between the two.

it took yeona telling on joongi's business back to seonhee for her to set the record straight. no one knows for sure what she has said, but their short discussion was followed by a shy apology from joongi, blaming the geomijul's eternal lack of trust of others for his behaviour and vowed to be as reliable as ever. actually, that was a move from seonhee where she wouldn't let a reason so petty cloud joongi and tesso's relationship further. it was better if tesso didn't know (lol).......

in joongi's opinion, there was too many red flags or dubious points about tesso and couldn’t figure out where nor when they even met (as seonhee never mentioned him before). so, everything came to him as a surprise. 

deep down, the hurt joongi felt was because seonhee didn’t tell him about it first when they shared pretty much everything. he took it as a sign of being unworthy of her trust. understanding it didn’t come from malice, joongi slowly opened up to tesso - it was iffy at first, there was still moments when he was a bit rude despite him. it took time, but joongi trusted seonhee in her decision and agreed that tesso wasn’t so bad after all (“albeit a bit goofy and doesn’t have a presentation as neat as I do”). all that mattered at the end of the day was seonhee’s wellbeing and she seems happy. bro got over himself…

- relationship ladder

(i'm not gonna extend myself too much on this but) the particular thing about them is how the closer they got, the place to work on business changed as well.

this is the fish shop next to eomoni's vow 😭

it started at the corner of the geomijul but surely became eomoni's vow (which is just my first fic LOL) - right at the time when the city was as calm as ever and the liumang and geomijul were combined together. members were more comfortable walking the streets so the need to remain miles of tunnels under the surface wasn't as needed.

still, they usually met in the middle of the night to work on stuff, but just end up eating and drinking the hours away. they got in the habit of playing mahjong against each-other singing karaoke on rare occasion (amongst other things).

next location is qing jin.

omg bro with the three piece suit 😭

it's upgrade from eomoni's vow since the top floor has a dress code 😍 you have to be put together to get in there so dresses and dress shirts are a must.

tesso debated for awhile before inviting her. it was a bit of a bold move, but he knew qing jin would be more of her taste (more spacious, luxurious and an entire different palate) AND it was still very private.

tesso actually picked the artwork (see the tomato picture below) and the room divider is from lin lin

they went a few times, and that was then tesso told seonhee about zhao's apartment complex and eventually advanced the idea to share a spot there. won't go over the details again LOL but you get the idea 🤩

knowing she'd be coming, tesso leaves her sweets 🥹 he's usually more busy on foot (you know assassination quests 🤩), but will drop by before she does if he has other stuff to do for the day.

seonhee definitely spends more time there since she doesn't have to be out carrying missions out on the streets and enjoys the privacy. it's seemingly normal when compared to the gloominess of the geomijul and restaurant row.

- trip to kyoto

this is basically the fic i wrote last year - tesso and seonhee go on a trip to kyoto. (PLEASE READ IT I COOKED!!! 😭) the fic in a nutshell:

i am kidding of course

despite being a higher ranked officer with more responsibilities, he’s always stuck at the “uhhhh taking some time off like that kinda feels unfair” but was bullied convinced by zhao to take some anyway. yokohama had been peaceful for awhile now and his subordinates could run well without him around for a few days.

so take the bullet train to osaka only to come back three days and four nights later. notably, they visit the nonomiya shrine (the shrine of love woooooooohooooo, no it is actually!), tesso dedicates her a poem and they stay in a machiya.

funny enough, i managed to make 3d models pretty close to the original drawings (iykyk) so it's fun!

pretty!!!!!!!!! 😭

- miscellaneous

funny thing they do -> rock paper scissors and they talk to each-other the native tongue of whoever wins for a day. seonhee tends to win often; she's just built like that.

during yua's first year at seiryo, tesso and seonhee attended the parent-student meeting together in place of her uncle (yua's legal guardian at the time). to meet sawa-sensei (yes she lived).

negative trait

tesso : can be too passive | seonhee : lacks humility

positive trait 

tesso: dependable | seonhee: diligent 

strength against the other

tesso: resistant to dominatrix energy | seonhee: resistant to tianyou

their weakness coming from the other

tesso: her cute mannerisms | seonhee: him calling her a specific petname (b......ba......omg i can't [dies of cringe])

serious complaint about the other

tesso: sacrificing health for the sake of fashion | seonhee: sleeps too little

unserious complaint about the other 

tesso: lacks stamina | seonhee: grandpa mannerisms at 37

random quirk

tesso: can fall asleep anywhere | seonhee: rarely laughs from her the pit of her stomach

karaoke? 

seonhee: enjoys anything from koda kumi | tesso: either tone deaf or decent, nobody knows… won’t do anything more than adlibs

hobby they got because of the other

tesso: skincare | seonhee: gardening

seonhee enjoys growing tomatoes, amongst other things. on his part, tesso grows nappa cabbages somewhere on a rooftop in restaurant row (mostly for kimchi ofc).

hobby they don’t share

tesso: shopping | seonhee: running

hobby they tried together for the first time

dancing (thank you yagami)

seonhee is pissed bc yagami made them do something really hard as a tryout. it's not easy, but it's simple at least so they managed!

thing they do when sick

tesso: eats lemons like oranges | seonhee: drinks tea with every single aromatic she can find (ginger, turmeric, cinnamon, peppercorns, etc.)

last thing they fought about

seonhee being frustrated at tesso’s reluctance to take over the liumang, leading her to talk ill of zhao’s ways of leadership. though, seonhee is too proud to apologize first and they didn’t talk to each other for two weeks. even zhao and saeko picked up on the fact they were kinda avoiding each other. 

one thing they struggled with

(especially tesso at the start) treat each-other on equal footing. he was kinda confused at how to behave, whether to be or to not be subservient, like.....

not that it was his second nature, but that's what he used to for the longest time. so, he didn't mind at all.

seonhee was a bit frustrated at the need to spell it out, but it was better that way. at least, everything was clear between them from that point on.

for zhao's costume party [i'll write about this later? maybe?]

(actually seonhee convinced tesso but) they did matching costumes of leon kennedy and ada wong from RE.

TL;DR: i think there are moments when seonhee shares more of herself to someone on equal footing, moments where she's more vulnerable and has room to step away from her idolized self.

i think there are moments when tesso has to put himself first, moments when he must learn to not overextend himself at his own expense.

despite the unlikely circumstances and complicated conditions, i think they would be able to do that together. tesso and seonhee are polar opposites on so many things and i think they can learn a lot from each-other.

i'll make another post with all different outfits they had soon because the volume of models i made 😭

next headcanon post is either going to be ichitesso on dondoko island or yua.....idk yet........

and yes in my book miku was on dondoko island LOL

and before you ask, yes i smoke crack! thank you for coming to my ted talk!

#tessohui #tesso #seonhee #domain expansion #mental institute!!!!!!!!!! #also please dont think im a joongi hater #hes just lame af for how he is towards seonhee about her dating..like bro.....shes not gonna let you hit please stop #also he called ichiban ugly so................bruh............ #other than that hes cool #im mentally ill #there are so many more things i wish i could convey #but i kinda hate writing #also this is not very fluffy? i think? #i shouldve written more i literally cant #im sorry #this has been in my drafts for a month at least #han joon gi #zhao tianyou

[alketaire]

remember forsaken year when booting up the game was like

#d2 #destiny #listening to the forsaken soundtrack for my mental health #am somewhere between 'i miss it' and 'fuck that it made me jump from a whole room away back in the day' #(the loading screen lit up white at the same time as the horns went FUCKING HAM and no other expansion did that)

[diver5ion]

#the expanse #naomi nagata #seeing filip #and mentally saying goodbye again #until jim out-jim'd himself lolz #dominique tipper #//

[muzzleroars]

Idk if this makes sense but The Mind Electric by Miracle Musical just fits Micheal in a way...? Especially the parts of "Understand what's going on inside my mind; Doctor I can't tell if I'm not me"

(heads up for searching the song + lyrics - go to the no flash lyric vid here!! the flashing one is REALLY intense!!)

YEA YEA REALLY THO...i love this song and it feels much like the moment he tears the light from himself, as well as what comes immediately after. he pleads forgiveness for his sin, his own soul on trial, just before he's torn apart to feel every inch of his body ripped through and annihilated in a searing agony. yet he simply wakes up. everything is numb, save for the indescribable feeling of death now infecting every fiber of his body, a feeling he can't understand as a once immortal, incorruptible angel. but he knows he's wrong. something went horribly, awfully wrong. his mind is wholly intact and initially he sees no physical evidence of what he's done, but he's trapped. how? his body isn't responding like it used to, his ethereal mind still limitless but stuck, unable to turn to light. of course. still that horror mounts more and more, numb yet so much more aware of his body, his physical being tethering him. he can't leave. he can't get out. this body is sick, he feels it soon enough, and he is within it, jailed inside of it in growing anxiety until he finally sees what he's wrought. skin sloughing, flesh deteriorating, body caving in as he prays in horrified, disbelieving panic. for days on end he pleads to a god who can no longer hear him, rotting away all the time as new life uses his corpse to feed itself. until he breaks entirely. he wakes, passing out after so much frenzied, frantic prayer, to look at himself again, covered in flowers. there is sunlight on him and even if he's no longer afforded its warmth, the flowers turn toward it. it's not so terrible. in fact, he thinks, it could be beautiful.

#i couldn't even pick lyrics because like. it's ALL of it #bc michael's mind feels VERY trapped in his body now #it is so fully him that it doesn't feel like him at all #this isn't him it isn't the ethereal aery form he knows #how can it be him. his mind still so expansive but now bound and smothered by his body #then he begins to fall apart physically. until he falls apart mentally. #and it's all good. it's all beautiful and perfect and god told him so #GAH....mike #cake answers #michael #rise and fall au