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lrfanfics · 1 year

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Poly Cupid (Cupido Poly)

Ladies, gentleman and fellow enbys, we present to y’all the Prologue of our dear fic “Poly Cupid”.

PROLOGUE

POV Castiel

The last school day, which is also prom day, has finally arrived. During these last 2 years, in this Hell of a place called school, I've been suppressing my romantic feelings about a certain green eyed, long brown haired girl. Her name is Lili and today it'll be the day I finally declare myself to her.

Because I'm already mentally prepared?

Not much.

Because I heard the son of a bitch that is my worst enemy, telling someone that he would be doing the same thing as me today?

Yes, obviously!

Of course I would never let Nathaniel win. Besides, I'm sure Lili will accept me! Like, has any of you read a fanfic, or seen a show, where the shy nerd wins against the sexy bad boy? No! Of course not!

"Ahm… I'm… sorry, but I… already like someone else." I opened my eyes, not being able to believe what I had just heard.

And there I was, with this shitty leash (a tie) that that blonde asshole is always wearing; next to the school's entrance in front of my crush that was oh so pretty, wearing a beautiful dark green dress that reached her knees; under a fantastic night sky, typical of those super cliché romantic films… being rejected.

WAS!

REJECTED!

Me!!! The hot bad boy!

This shit never happens in fanfics! Usually the bad boys are very lucky in this sort of stuff, especially the music ones like me!

"Who do you like, then? Ah, I know… Kentin, right?" The typical Childhood Friends into Lovers trope." I gotta find out who's the motherfucker that stole my girl.

Lili simply looked at me and denied my question with her head, sheepishly.

"Lysander?" Mysterious dudes are also a big thing with girls.

"No." She said while nodding with her head side-to-side again.

"Don't tell me you have a crush on the surfer dude?"

"Ewww… of course not!" Lili said, rolling her eyes and making a disgusted expression.

"What? Let me guess, you like Nathaniel, is it?"

Pfff! What am I even saying? Like something like that could ever happen! Hahaha! Who the fuck likes nerdy, nice guys?

Lili visibly tensed up. She then started to move her hands in the air, nervously.

"N—No! O—Of course not! Me liking Nath? What are you even saying! Hahaha!"

Shit! Fuck me and this stupid fucking luck of mine! I would prefer it if she said she liked Lysandre, then it wouldn't be as humiliating as this! And who knows… we could've formed a trio.

"Lili?" The voice of that blonde dipshit interrupted this humiliating moment.

I saw her look at him, embarrassed, I think she was scared that he'd heard our previous conversation.

There was a long silence. They're gazes were completely fixated on one another so much that it almost looked like they were fucking each other just through their vision. This is too much of a humiliation! God, do you really hate me this much?!

"I just wanted to know if you'd like to come dance with me for a little bit… as friends, of course!" He stretched his hand towards her and she placed her hand in his.

"I would. A—As friends, obviously!" She added, a very noticeable nervous smile plastered on her face.

Hello!? Don't these bitches see me here or something?!

"Bye, Castiel! I hope I'll never have to see your face again!" Nathaniel said, grinning, while he took Lili, who was waving me goodbye, as they entered the gym where the party was occurring in.

And I just stood there.

Alone.

Rejected.

Humiliated by that fucking son of bitch, Nathaniel!

I think my life can't get worse than this.

I decided to just walk back home, at least Dragon is gonna be there waiting for me. The streets were completely empty and silent, but there was this one sound that caught my attention and was only getting louder and louder, until it…

AH! BITCH, THAT SHIT LEGIT SCARED THE FUCK OUT OF ME!

I almost had a fucking heart attack! Fuck! How are these people able to pass their drivers test!? Can't you see the fucking crosswalk on the ground! They must have bribed the fucking instructor, damn.

"ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND!? CAN'T YOU SEE I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING CROSSWALK, HUH!?" If my reflexes weren't so good I would've been ran over by this retard. Unbelievable!

The same car that had almost ran me over abruptly stopped, it's already a little late for that, but ok. When the driver's side door opened, a woman with brown hair and blue eyes— NO… not her, please… anything but this whore!

"I should've guessed! This could've only be your doing, you whore!" I barked in the direction of Debrah. Why is this bitch so obsessed with me!? I mean, what idiot wouldn't be obsessed with me, ain't that right?

Oh, right.

When I noticed, the bitch was already a few centimetres away from my face while her gaze was fixated on my crouch.

"Hey! I don't know about you, but when I'm talking with someone I like them to be looking at my face while I do it!" I spit.

…

Who does this chick think she is to be ignoring me right after almost killing me with her car!?

I bring my hand up to her head and start poking her with my index finger.

"Hey stu—" What—!?

WHAT THE FUCK, MY FUCKING FINGER JUST PASSED THROUGH HER HEAD—!!!? But— The fuck just happened?! I feel like I'm trippin' right now… I knew that I shouldn't have asked that shady looking guy, wearing a leather jacket, for a cigarette!

Suddenly, the world seemed to be spinning around me, making my head hurt, and the beating of my heart accelerate at each breath that I took. Sweat falling down my face.

I look at Debrah, a disgusting smile plastered on those hoe lips of hers. "Heh. One less cuck… huhm, I better get going before the cops get here." She says, turning her back to me and running away.

This hoe really thinks she's that bitch, huh!?

Huff. I let out a sigh. This is some bullshit…

While she walked back to her stupid ass car, her last words didn't seem to leave my mind: I better get going before the cops get here.

Yes, it's true that she almost sent me to a better place, but… I don't feel in pain, or don't seem to have anything broken. She almost aborted my life, ALMOST, but she didn't. So why would she be afraid of the police — besides the fact that they're extremely intimidating — without having committed any sort of crime? Well, none besides being a slut, right?

. . .

Wait

… . . .

A few minutes ago, when my hand passed through her face, that normally only happens when— No… NO!

I gulp and take a deep breath. If this is really happening right now, it could only mean one thing… I turn my head around, slowly, and it looks like my fears have been confirmed… fuck me. There it was, my beautiful sexy body laid on the ground like dog shit.

It's so depressing that it's enough to make a manly man, like me, cry. I can't look, I don't want to look… but I do—

Ah! Wait—!

T—This can't be real, this has to be some sort of very shitty lucid dream! That would also explain why Lili picked that fucking blonde dumbass over me! Because it's impossible for a bad boy, especially ME, to be rejected! HA!

Ok… enough is enough! Now is time to wake the fuck up, Castiel—

"Shut the fuck up and take your ass to the tunnel, already." Said a low and raspy voice.

Excuse me—!?

I quickly turn my body in the direction of the voice and find myself face-to-face with a dark skinned… and short… man, with dark brown hair and eyes. Hey, wasn't that the man that gave me tha—

TO BE CONTINUED

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hippo-pot · 2 years

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our huckleberries are starting to be ripe I think? but like? i haven’t had this variety before so i can’t be sure? lol

the first one we tried (over a week ago) was green on the inside and tasted like a vegetable instead of a fruit. the ones i had today were mostly dark purple on the inside and tasted like fruit, but not very sweet fruit. but maybe that’s just how they are? and we should just put ‘em in pies or jams, with lots of sugar?

also like three berries i’ve seen have bites out of them or are shriveled in a weird way. like. vaguely worried about the possibility of large numbers becoming overripe or otherwise losing the battle with the nonhuman environment if i don’t pick them at the right time. so i can’t wait TOO long. but google did say they get sweeter if you leave them on the plant even after they’re ripe. but how sweet?? what is the limit?? whew what an adventure

#went thru a process with ground cherries where i didn't realize they got riper if you kept them for a couple weeks after they fell off #i've eaten soooo many not-fully-ripe ground cherries #growing new plants is so experimental honestly even if it's stuff you eat regularly #like figuring out when to harvest corn? melons? okra? it's DIFFICULT #also i have like seven new huckleberry seedlings because i spat out the seeds from the unripe huckleberry last week LOL #it's literally been in the 100s every day and they're just babies and yet they're completely fine #they are SO good at growing #and thriving etc #maybe the corresponding downside is that they just don't taste that good?#we will see!!!!

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emo-batboy · 11 months

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Battinson and Food

He’s vegetarian and I will hear none of your crap

Depression meals, so many depression meals

I already made a post of his greatest hits here but here's three more:

A whole tub of apple sauce

Instant grits mixed with a hot chocolate packet

And a bowl of croutons

Some meals have actually graduated from the “Depression Meal” category to “Whenever I Can Sneak It Out of the Kitchen” status (because Alfred is appalled every time)

Dick, with the invincible, titanium-lined stomach of a 9yo, doesn’t know why Bruce makes them, but he loves taking bites of Bruce’s weird concoctions.

His favorites so far are:

Cream cheese and jelly sandwich

Spoonfuls of peanut butter (with chocolate chips, that was his idea)

And frozen garlic bread

Diner Food is King. (This is New Jersey. What did you expect?) His go-to order is two eggs over easy, well-done rye toast, grits with syrup and butter, and a fruit cup with no melons from the 24-hour place two blocks east. Hasn’t changed since he was five. Never will.

Bruce can cook food that is edible. Edible.

Like if he tries to make Italian, he can successfully cook the pasta. He can make a basic sauce. He can even plate it.

The tomato sauce is crunchy in some places, yes, but it’s fine :) and it is edible

but Bruce has NEVER succeeded in a baking endeavor, and it positively devastates him every single time

“Baking is science! I love science! I’m great at science. So why didn’t the cake rise when I did everything on the recipe?!” “You need to make it with love-“ “That wasn’t on the ingredients list, Alfred!”

He can handle spice surprisingly well. It’s not like he could avoid it while training all over the world, so he ended up building a tolerance, but his eyes still go unbelievably red every time.

He really fucks with bagels (I mean, what self-respecting Gothamite doesn’t) and he has a very specific bagel order for every possible mood from the great place downtown

The workers at Bagel Kingdom know which moods correspond with which order, and they have a designated spreadsheet taped to the back of the counter so they can work accordingly.

They know he’s barely hanging in there when he gets a toasted blueberry bagel with no butter.

He’s having a good day when he gets a plain bagel sandwich with tomato, provolone, two fried eggs, and hot sauce. In that order. That’s the shit

When he’s stressed, he gets a pumpernickel bagel with strawberry cream cheese to cheer himself up.

The workers of Bagel Kingdom will NOT let you disrespect his bagel.

Bruce almost burnt the tower down when he tried to cook a toaster waffle in the microwave while running on 40 hours without sleep, and he just kept cooking it because it wasn’t crisping for some reason

Alfred needs to force him to eat all the time

(It is definitely because Bruce suffers from disordered eating.)

There was one period of time in which Bruce went days without food, and Alfred (lovingly) threatened to send him to in-patient if he didn’t eat

Bruce said that those gross, mushy, lukewarm blueberries were the only thing he’d tolerate when he was struggling, so blueberries became their indicator: if Bruce can’t stomach blueberries, he goes to in-patient.

He’s gone twice, and Bruce was very mad each time, but he still uses healing methods that he was taught in there so it couldn’t have been that bad.

(He’s also friends with some of the nurses now. He, Denise, and Kayleigh have a group chat.)

Dick once convinced him to test taste different kinds of olive oil to learn the difference between regular and extra virgin. It was absolutely disgusting, and he ended up puking an hour later. Alfred now puts child locks on the kitchen cabinets.

The first time Bruce ever makes a meal that doesn’t look horrid is when he spends two weeks practicing Romani dishes for Dick the month after he adopts him.

He has since perfected three different recipes:

Stuffed peppers

Goulash

Cabbage rolls

(Keep in mind Dick is not vegetarian like Bruce.)

He tried making almond cake like 80 times (which is more like a biscuit but still a baked good) but could never do it right so Alfred makes them instead.

At dinner time, Dick always eats off Bruce’s plate more than his own. Alfred has chastised him several times, but Bruce only encourages him more. He thinks it’s cute. And so does the general public when they attend dinner parties.

One of Bruce's favorite memories of his parents is when he had a bad dream in the middle of the night so Thomas and Martha drove him out to the nearest diner to have a chocolate milkshake at 3 am.

Now, after patrol, if Bruce saw something traumatic or something that reminded him of his parents’ death, he’ll go to that same 24-hour diner and sit for a bit with a chocolate milkshake.

He continues this tradition after Dick becomes Robin. (Even if it took months for Bruce to even consider the idea of letting Dick near harm’s way.)

No matter how hard he tries to keep Dick away from the gruesome stuff, he can’t stop everything. They get milkshakes a lot more than Bruce would like.

But eventually, it turns into a treat whenever Dick does well in school or needs a pick-me-up.

And when they add Jason to the mix, they introduce him to the tradition as well.

They know everything will be okay when they have chocolate milkshakes together.

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thelandboundseawitch · 6 months

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🍎Fruit Correspondences🍎

Apples:

Red Apples- Love, prosperity, lust, knowledge, sex, romance and passion, fruit of the dead, immortality, happiness, good physical health, curses

Green Apples- Money, prosperity, luck, success

Yellow Apples- Curses for money loss, greed, envy

Apricot- Love, longevity, good health, healing(physically and emotionally), sweetening things, glamour, beauty Banana- Travel, sex, fertility, potency, prosperity, comfort, pain relief, sleep, dreams; infidelity curses, impotence Blackberry- Healing, love, protection, natural beauty, lust, cursing, binding Blueberry- Healing, protection, calm, focus, communication Cantaloupe- Protection, energy, motivation Cherry- Dreams, love, divination, beauty, substitute for blood/meat/organs, happiness, emotional healing, friendship, repel negativity, relationships Coconut- Chastity, innocence, protection, purification, beauty Cranberry- Romance, cleansing, severing negative ties, ambition Date- Love, psychic abilities, friendships and repairing them, quick energy Elderberry- Protection (psychic and emotional attacks), protection from psychic vampirism, fidelity, spirit work, wisdom, cleansing, dexterity, balance (usually of body and mind), celebrations; can be used as a substitute for blood despite not being red, good for ink making Fig- Abundance, divination, energy, fertility, good luck, health, love, money, peace, power, strength

Grapes:

Green- Money and prosperity, business, grounding, creativity

Purple- Psychic abilities, divination, spirit work

Red- Strength, lust, fertility, encouragement

Grapefruit- Cleansing, confidence, cooperation, healing, inner strength, mental clarity, purification, curses

Honeydew Melon- Sweetness, refresh, renewal, energy, subtly, kindness, relationship Kiwi- Secrets, looking for answers, happiness, sex and physical longings, good luck Lemon- Love, purification, beauty, friendship, longevity, inspiration, cursing Lime- Command and dictation, emotional healing, protection, energizing, purification, protects from negativity, curses(envy, jealousy, money troubles, bond severing) Mango- Love, protection, harvest, business and legal matters, happiness, friendship and family Nectarine- Love Orange- Awareness, prosperity, love, friendship, divination, creativity, inspiration, dream work, opportunity, harvest, money luck Papaya- Love, protection, brings happiness, kindness, strength in hardship, overcoming challenges Peach- Happiness, love, protection, exorcism, wishes, femininity, female fertility, knowledge, motivation, bliss Pear- Love, lust, wealth Persimmon- Happiness, healing, luck, lust, sex, wisdom Pineapple- Relieves stress and anxiety, imagination, relieves art block, luck, prosperity, happiness Plum- Luxury, sex, lust, love, wealth, and sleep Pomegranate- Beauty, protection, lust, the forbidden, death, wisdom, blood substitute and organ substitute Raspberry- Fun, love, courage, blood substitute Strawberry- Love, curses(losing love, cheating or lost of sexual drive) Tangerine- Protection of a home or space, happiness, friendship and cheerfulness Watermelon- Purity, luck, happiness, renewal, rebirth

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talonabraxas · 2 months

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Planetary Correspondences of the Moon

The energy of the moon is tidal and watery, bringing to mind our deepest dreams, thoughts and emotions and its cyclical nature honors the cycles of our lives and our bodies. The moon shines its light through the darkness to reveal secrets, even those we keep from ourselves.

The moon’s metal is silver.

Stones that correspond to the energy of the moon tend to be white and/or luminescent. moonstone, pearl, white quartz and white or clear crystal spheres.

Lunar Herbs

Lunar herbs tend to be juicy and lightly sweet and with a sweet (sometimes cloying) fragrance. Either they produce watery fruits, or they have succulent leaves or both.

Many moon herbs help to balance hormones, relieve mild pain and/or gently induce sleep. Many moon plants open at night and close during the day or release their scent at night to attract nocturnal pollinators. Moon plants often grow near water.

White or silvery plants tend to correspond to lunar energy and sometimes these plants bear the mark of the moon even more strongly (see the doctrine of signatures).

Here’s a list:

moonflower,

lotus,

Evening Primrose,

Night Jasmine,

cucumber,

melon,

bitter

melon,

almond,

agave,

moonwort,

milkweed,

passionflower(sedative),

mallow,

Willow(pain),

poppy (sedative, pain relief),

Gooseberry,

Goat’s beard,

Mugwort,

Wild Yam(hormones),

Iris

Lunar Fragrances- Incense, Oils and Fumigation Herbs

Almond, clary sage, Orris root

Temple of the Moon Portals into the Multiverse. Talon Abraxas

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magickkate · 2 months

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Witches! Today, let's dive into the mystical world of correspondences associated with the days of the week. Each day holds its own unique energy and significance, making them powerful tools in your magical practice. Here's a quick guide to help you harness the magic of each day:

🌞 Sunday: Sunday is the first day of the week, perfect for new beginnings. This day rules the conscious element of the human mind, the ego, the "real self." It is your confidence, your strength, your resilience, your personal power. The sun is life giving, it’s energetic, it inspires growth and accomplishment.

Planet: Sun Color: Yellow, Gold Plants: Sunflower + Marigold Stones: Diamond, Amber, Tiger's Eye, Carnelian, Sunstone, Topaz, Gold Herbs: Cedar, Frankincense, Lemon, St. Johns Wort Foods: Orange God(s)/Goddess(es): Brigid, Helios, Apollo, Lugh, and Beli or Bel

🥈Monday: Mondays are ruled by the moon and the divine feminine energy that this celestial body is associated with. The cycle of the moon has long been associated with the menstrual cycle. Therefor it is an excellent planet to work with for fertility, transformation, and change.

Color: white, silver, blue Plants: bluebells, jasmine, gardenias, or white roses Stones: moonstone, pearl Herbs: Jasmine, Lemon, Sandalwood, Honeysuckle, Myrtle, Willow, and Wormwood Foods: Melon God(s)/Goddess(es): Selene, Luna, Diana, Artemis, and Toth

🏮Tuesday: Tuesday is ruled by the planet mars who is associated with the roman god of war Ares. This day of the week is perfect for any areas of your life that requires strength, courage and speed.

Planet: Mars Color: scarlet, red, black, and orange Plants: snapdragon, thistle, and holly Stones: garnet, bloodstone Herbs: Basil, Ginger, Black Pepper, Dragon's blood and patchouli Foods: carrots, peppers, and garlic God(s)/Goddess(es): Ares, Tiwaz, Tiw, and Tyr

🔶Wednesday: Wednesday is ruled by the planet Mercury, making this the perfect day for communication. If there’s a conflict that needs addressing, a big decision to discuss, a promotion you want to ask your boss for, or any other situation where communication will be your sword, this is the day to harness that magic.

Planet: Mercury Color: purple, orange Plants: fern, lavender, lily of the valley, aspen Stones: citrine, agate, aventurine, mica, pumice, quicksilver, zinc Herbs: lavender, eucalyptus, jasmine, sweet-pea Foods: unknown. God(s)/Goddess(es): Odin, Athena, Hermes

🍏Thursday: Thursdays are ruled by the planet Jupiter. It is also associated with the Norse god Thor and the Roman God Jupiter. Jupiter is the largest planet and therefor the most powerful. Thursday is the best day to perform manifesting magic. Prepare that money magic, ask for that raise, have fun with friends and loved ones.

Planet: Jupiter Color: blue, purple, green Plants: oak, wheat Stones: amethyst, lepidolite, sugilite, tin Herbs: Clove, Oakmoss, Cinnamon, Musk, Nutmeg, and Sage Foods: unknown. God(s): Thor, Jupiter, Zeus, Taranis, Perun, and Perkunas.

📘Friday: Fridays are ruled by the feel good planet Venus. This day is usually associated with reward and relaxation due to the end of the work week, but the influence is also due to the celestial body that governs it. Fridays are for indulging. It’s date night. It’s a luxurious bath with a glass of wine. It’s celebrating your free time.

Planet: Venus Color: pink and aqua Plants: rose Stones: rose quartz, jade, lapis lazuli, coral, emerald, malachite, copper Herbs: Rose, Yarrow, Cardamon, Strawberry, Sandalwood, Saffron, and Vanilla, Thyme Foods: strawberries God(s)/Goddess(es): Eros, Venus, Aphrodite, Freya

✒️ Saturday: Ruled by Saturn, Saturday is ideal for grounding, protection, and banishing negativity. It's a great day for spells related to structure, discipline, and long-term goals.

Planet: Saturn Color: black and deep purple Plants: pansy, morning glory , cypress Stones: obsidian, hematite, or jet, Coral, Hematite, Salt, Lead, Serpentine, Pewter Herbs: Cypress, Myrrh, Patchouli, Black Poppy seeds, Mullein Foods: unknown. God(s)/Goddess(es): Hecate, Saetere, Saturn, Cronos, the Norns, Loki.

As always, while these correspondences can serve as a helpful guide, feel free to adapt them to suit your own intuition and magical practice. Experiment with different spells and rituals on each day to discover what resonates best for you. Embrace the magic of each day and let it guide you on your witchy journey! 🌟✨

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marlinspirkhall · 1 year

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The star trek food cubes are haunting me again. I want to put them in my mouth.

So here are the theories on how to make them.

[ID] Screencap from The Conscience Of The King shows Lt. Riley uncovering a plate of food cubes [end ID]

Tofu, diced.

Marinate in liquid(s) of choice (e.g, lemon juice). Cover with cornstarch. Add red, green or yellow food colouring to blocks as required. Roast and serve.

Suggestion: marinate the cubes in different flavours to correspond to their colours.

Prototype recipe

Melon, diced.

This one is low effort: Red cubes= watermelon, other cubes= melon. Allegedly, the original on-set props *were* dyed melon (but I don't have a solid source), so this may be the best fit.

Royal icing/icing sugar.

This one is just candy: make 3 batches of royal icing, one red, one yellow, one green, dice when half-set and leave to fully set.

Cake, fondant.

Possible, if we assume Lt. Riley was drinking milk in that scene from The Conscience Of The King (Pictured above). This one is also easy to make, assuming you don't object to fondant.

Jelly, cubed.

(Jell-O). Dishonourable mention; this one is too see-through for my liking.

[ID] Screencap from Where No Man shows Kirk eating a green food cube, which looks blue here. [End ID]

Potatoes, Diced.

Roast Potatoes, Diced

This idea comes from CoolPete.com, and my first thought was "please don't put food colouring on the potatoes".

Cool Pete provided a photo of the finished results, and the natural colour of the potato offsets most of the food colouring to make them all look greener than intended. The red food colouring comes out the best. I suppose colour theory dictates that you should use blue food colouring on the potatoes in order to get green cubes, but don't quote me on that.

With this in mind, I'm going to tentatively suggest a horrible idea:

Roast Sweet Potatoes (Yams), Diced

In theory, the redness of the yams might allow the Yellow Food Dye to look more yellow, and make the red more vibrant. There's a greater chance that you will be able to use the green food colouring without it looking blue here, but use at your own caution, because the finished product may look oversaturated. Perfectly edible, but potentially unappetizing (the first bite is with the eye).

Closing Comments:

For uniformity of texture, tofu or melon seems to be the best way to go. If we are to believe that the "food cubes" in-universe are supposed to be fruit (according to that same trekbbs thread, they're placed in glasses in Journey To Babel), then watermelon and cantaloupe are begging for our attention, but we must ignore them, for melon alone does not a meal make!

“I wonder if they were actually supposed to be some kind of fruit in-universe, too? IIRC, in "Journey to Babel" the copper aliens put them in their drinks, which seems a strange thing to do if they were supposed to be the 23rd century equivalent of tofu cubes or something.”

-Avro Arrow

This isn't the end, merely the beginning. I will test out a couple of variations of these meals and report back on which one I think is best.

My current hypothesis is that the tofu will allow for the most variation, as you can marinate it in naturally-colourful liquids of various colours. If it's colourful enough you could forgo the food colouring altogether, or marinate it in something colourless (like salted water) and then add seasonings and food colouring if you wish.

I intend to start by using tofu with diced potatoes as a side, though if I test out too many cube-shaped meals at once, my household will get suspicious, so I need to space this out over the course of a few months. I'm going to use the tag #Food Cube Trek, so filter it if that's not something you'd like to see.

#Food Cube Trek #food cubes #star trek #star trek TOS #girl help I can't stop thinking about the food cubes #long post #cooking with quark

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themotherofblood · 2 years

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Legendary Lovers

Tywin Lannister x Reader

Tears of gold AU

A/N: I am a desi writer, so I was really excited to use some elements of my culture. My culture has a rich war ritual and wanted to include a scene of jauhar. I will still make it as suicide even though it is something much more than that’s

TW: birth, blood, murder. Mentions of suicide.

The news of Stannis Baratheon approaching King’s Landing spread out pretty quickly. More women were seen at the godswood praying for their husbands and intendeds, their sons and brothers, their fathers and wardens. While the men were away sharpening their swords, acing their aims, preparing their horses.

Lady Y/N Lannister spent most her time in her gardens. Looking out to the shore that would either bring forth a victory, or would end her life. Her hands occupied with the golden and red silks of her house, sewing a banner together for her husband. It was tradition derived from her culture, the lady of the house would sew a banner for the men at war, the banner that held the prayers of the families under the sigil. She remembered her mother sewing one during the days of rebellion. She also remembers her mother ordering for a giant pyre to be built. Should the city fall, the women of the house would not be taken but instead die with their honour in the fire.

When you were married, with you came twenty women from your city. Women that very much followed the traditions of your home, who had reached out to you about the pyres as the news of war spread. You however needed permission from your husband, you knew he wouldn’t take this well but as a woman. This was owed, he vowed to protect your honour and this is how he would do it even in his death. This is how he would protect his children. What you were asking of him becoming even more imperative, since the tales of what was done to Ellia Martel were all too familiar.

A fortnight ago, Lord Varys had crept up to your garden. Nearly scaring the life out of you as he called out your name. He presented you with a message, an unopened, sealed message which made you look up to him in confusion. All correspondences go through your husband, Vary’s simply said nothing and urged you to read. The letter came from Dorne, from your uncle’s lover; Ellaria Sand.

“The Sand Snakes await you by east shore in a fortnight, no more Dornish blood on pale hands.”

You read it over again, there was a chance that you could leave, but you weren’t a hostage. You were the wife of Tywin Lannister and you were going to die on the same ground as him, should he fall. You crumpled the parchment and handed it back to Varys. It was answer enough, you were staying in King’s Landing.

You’d sat at the dine, awaiting your husband. You’d requested to eat alone today. Just the two of you,and the King for goodness allowed it. Though if Tywin wanted to eat alone there was so stopping him. You sat out of breath after journeying back to your chamber, pressing a cool glass of water to your sweaty neck.

“You do realize the Maesters do not tell you to not walk around for entertainment.” Your husband’s voice called out from behind you. His hand leaning down to your bump and pressing a kiss to your temple before sitting down on his seat. Servants poured in to set up your table, as each item was placed you tried not to look displeased as most food this days made you sick. Tywin pushed forward the fruit bowl to you, the cool texture of melons were the only thing you could eat.

Tywin didn’t want to say it but he was terrified for you and his children. You could birth in two fortnights or three, and now he didn’t even know if the Lannisters would survive one. He watched as you bit into the watermelon, a small hum leaving you as you savoured the red fruit. “How is the banner coming along?” He asked. His wife told him of this tradition, and he would do everything possible to bring that banner back to his wife after the war.

“Nearly done, husband.” You said sipping out of your water cup. “Just a few more stitches.” You took a deep breath, not sure of how to wage the conversation you wanted to have with him. “Husband.” You paused making him look at you

“We have another war tradition. Jahaur.” You stated looking at the fruit bowl in front of you. “Should the city fall, I need your permission… to let go.” He looked at your confused, not quite understanding what you meant. “The women, we’d rather burn in a fire then be taken by Stannis, I would not impose this on the other women but my ladies and I request the flame of you, my lord.” You looked at him sternly, a look Tywin himself mastered to often hide any emotion he felt. His brows were scrunched tightly as he took in what you had just said

You facade cracked through however, a slight gloss in you eyes as you pleaded you husband to allow your death. Tywin knew that even Stannis’s army wasn’t devoid of the treacheries that men imposed on women. He couldn’t bare the thought of those men touching you. He too thought of Ellia Martell and how her child was cut out of her. He simply gave you a tight nod as approval. You looked to you maid who stood at the corner of the room, her eyes too glossed over. You nodded at her as she scurried off to make preparations. Both of you sat in silence, opting to move to lay on the couch. His hand gently rubbing your bump as you looked out to the night sky.

Days before the siege, you’d found Cersei in the royal gardens, with her youngest Tommen. He overjoyed when he saw you. His little feet running over to you before falling into a wobbly bow. “My lady.” The boy called out

“My prince.” You smiled back and lifted the boy as best you could. “Aren’t you getting bigger.” You spoke to him as you walked to his mother. Cersei never liked you, she thought it betrayed the memory of her mother, she didn’t trust you because you weren’t a Lannister.

“Your grace.” You bowed before handing her Tommen. She gave your her practiced tight lipped smile.

“I’m surprised you haven’t run yet.” She spoke as she patted the seat next to you, to sit.

“This is my home, why would I?” Cersei scoffed at that. Watching Tommen run about the garden as she looked to your belly.

“You love him?” She said almost as if she was trying to believe it herself. She looked at you for answer but you said nothing. She sported a look you couldn’t quite decipher, it was maybe of sympathy or pity. Maybe she thought you were pathetic, willing to die for a man who would never truly be yours. You let your gaze go back to Tommen, you wondered what Stannis would do to these children. You thought of what he would do to you.

That night Tywin found you in bed, wide awake staring at the canopy. The sheer curtains drawn and within it your silhouette laid perfectly still, the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the movement of your hand on your belly. He’d sworn he wouldn’t share such intimacy with anyone other than Joanna. A small part of him, as wars raged on, wished that a pierce right through his heart would send him to his beloved. Though that was a fool’s wishful thinking, to even believe he would go to the same place as his first wife. With Stannis’s army about to rain down on them in a few hours, he didn’t seem to care. He looked at you laying there, and if he could let your care consume him. He’d happily die on your marital bed. He watched as you became aware of his presence, extending your arm out and wiggling your fingers at him.

“Come to bed. Husband.” Your soft voice called out to him, his feet carried him like a siren’s song towards you, already stripped into his tunic. There you laid in a sleep dress, the white shinning like stars against your skin and while in other circumstances Tywin would have you screaming his name for looking like that. There was melancholy in the air, he saw the small frown on your face, the little shake in your fingers. You were scared and so was he. The gods had blessed him with yet another chance and here he laid as within mere hours you might be taken away from him.

He shuffled in, facing you as you moved your head to look at him. His large palm found yours that rested on your bump. “My wife, promise me” He huffs against your shoulder. “No matter what happens tomorrow, you will wait till the very end.” He didn’t need to elaborate what he meant. He wanted you to wait until Stannis was at the Red Keep to enter the pyre. A tear felt past your eye, as you looked upward to the ceiling again.

“I promise.” You smiled sadly at him. A small purr erupted a Lion jumped on the bed to lay in between the little space between you and you husband. Hearing him purr made your frown grow and bottom lip quiver, you closed your eyes to compose yourself. “Do you think they will hurt him?” You voice broke halfway.

“This is why we don’t name things, wife.” Your husband whispered as if speaking any louder would make this room ignite. His knuckles rubbing the feline’s snout. You were crying, not inconsolable, or breaking down. It was grief, anguish just silently pouring out of you. Tywin’s heart would give out from not showing it. He too felt the way you did. “Sleep, my wife.” You felt his touch lull you to sleep. In that limbo between coniousness and sleep, you could swear you heard the faintest humming from him. You couldn’t quite decipher the song but he was humming for sure.

The next morning was chaos, the court in shambles as women sewed gold in the hems of their dresses, more women showed up at the pyre. Arrows being accounted for, soldiers being head counted. Common folk being urged into the insides of the abandoned dragon pit, which now held food, clothing and milk for children. You and your husband on the other hand were wrapped in each other’s arms. Both unwilling to let go, your back to his as his arms engulfed you back into the sheets. Waiting and dreading for the knocks of your servants which rest assured came.

next chapter

#tywin lannister x reader #tywin lannister #desiblr #house lannister #tywin lannister smut #game of thrones #got x reader #ruiewrites #got #game of thrones fanfiction #reader insert #dorne #stannis baratheon #angst #charles dance

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smile-files · 11 months

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okey dokey!!! my little object (?) world is still in development but i really should share it with you all... (especially @mumpsetc so i'm tagging you!!) here's a little blurb on botanica!!!!

so this is a peaceful planet filled with sentient fruit! yay!! if you'd like to learn more, read below :D

in botanica, as fruit ripen on their plants, the plant material grows inside of the fruit, as if a miniature version of the plant has grown into it - botanican fruit possess a circulatory system of xylem and phloem within their flesh, with stems and vines growing out to form appendages (fig 1). all botanicans have leaves on at least one appendage, which they use to photosynthesize. aside from this energy from the sun, botanicans also drink water, which is taken in with a root tongue, and consume soil, from which nutrients and moisture are absorbed in a stomach-like organ. in doing so, botanicans effectively keep themselves "fresh" and/or "ripe", meaning that the life of a botanican fruit off of the parent plant is longer than that of a corresponding fruit in our world. all botanicans do eventually pass, and when they do, their bodies decompose and the seeds within them have the chance of growing into plants that will create more botanicans.

botanicans, like our fruit, come in different species, but those species are grouped into four categories: roaming botanicans, which are vine fruits (melons, tomatoes, squash, grapes), coasting botanicans, which are tropical fruits (bananas, papayas, pineapples, starfruit), floating botanicans, which are berries (raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, blackberries), and soaring botanicans, which are tree fruit (apples, pears, peaches, cherries). citrus fruits are in a subcategory between coasting and soaring botanicans. (all of these category names are subject to change though!!)

roaming botanicans are quadrupedal (four vine legs) with a prehensile vine-and-leaf tail (fig 2a); they live in sibling herds (usually small, but can vary in size) and roam around the landscape, without any designated leader among them. most roaming botanican species follow the sun year-round, and so avoid winter; in their constant migration they periodically stop to rest at hills, under which they burrow to make a nest. after making a nest under a hill, a herd will stick a branch at its peak so, after they leave, other herds will know that that hill can be used as a nesting site (fig 2b). some roaming botanicans have evolved to have particularly thick rinds, and so are more cold-resistant, and so opt not to constantly migrate, instead living more sedentary lives with occasional migration.

coasting botanicans have a stem-and-leaf tail and two leaf fins (fig 3); they grow on land but live the majority of their lives in the water, where they spend their time in groups. these groups are more based on friendship ties than familial ties, considering how vast a domain these botanicans have (basically the entire aquatic realm). more so than others, coasting botanicans connect with botanicans of other species and categories, and spend most of their lives just exploring and meeting others. while usually surrounded by others, a coasting botanican might on a rare chance find themselves alone in the ocean, in which case the loneliness will cause them to act in a way abnormal for most of their category - they will become antisocial and will lose their desire to explore. there are few cases of this occurring, however, given how populated and lively most corners of botanica's waters are.

floating botanicans have four large leafy wings and six tiny stem feet (fig 4a); they are the most solitary of the four categories, being very individualized. they have a very strong connection to flowers, which they in fact pollinate - many cultivate their own gardens and end up specializing in a specific type of flower. floating botanicans can be very social at times, and often come together to form collaborative gardens and even breed flowers, but they do not live in groups. these botanicans, being so much smaller than the others, can often not safely drink out of rivers or lakes without falling in, and so have evolved a long root tongue to drink with (fig 4b).

soaring botanicans have two large, leafy wings and two stem talons (fig 5a); they tend to live in very large familial flocks, as fruit trees often produce mass amounts of botanicans. the first to ripen is usually the leader of the flock. these botanicans build nests in their family tree (get it?) using fallen sticks, branches, and other plant materials, which becomes the center of life (fig 5b). within a flock of soaring botanicans, many individuals are designated to explore the surrounding area for interesting additions to the nests (such as a foreign flower or a pretty rock). due to the large size of these groups, most individuals within a flock form a "twin" bond with another individual, which they spend more time with than others.

i don't think i ever came up with a name for the soaring-coasting subcategory, but in any event, these botanicans have a single broad leaf tail and two stem talons (fig 6). these botanicans are more closely related to soaring botanicans than coasting botanicans, but as they tend to live in more watery areas, they have many similarities to coasting botanicans and do not have the capability of flight. botanicans of this category live in large flocks in ponds, lakes, and rivers; many build small dams. unlike those of the typical flock of soaring botanicans, individuals within flocks of these botanicans tend to intermix more; they often make friends between flocks and so there seems to be some kind of broad botanican network from pond to pond, river to river, lake to lake. these botanicans, like coasting botanicans, are very friendly and carefree.

botanica is a peaceful, happy planet; basically every resource needed for survival is in abundance and there is no opportunity for greed and selfishness to even arise, so individuals are more often than not cooperative, kind, and generous. of course, as loss and loneliness are truths of life, no botanican life is free of all suffering altogether, and issues can arise - but given the warm, compassionate nature of the surrounding physical and social environments, individuals end up living happy, loving lives overall.

something interesting about botanican life is the complete disconnect between reproduction and relationhips - seeds are only spread after a botanican passes away, and those seeds grow into plants otherwise entirely disconnected from the botanican in question; then those plants are pollinated and new botanicans grow from them. in this way, botanicans have no real concept of sex, and often fall in love with and befriend members of different species (as there is no reason why this would be an issue; they wouldn't be reproducing with them anyway) (fig 7). while plant individuals sometimes have parts of a specific sex, most have parts of both sexes, and either way this has no impact on the mindset or behavior of the botanican as a whole creature (they technically have biological sex but they have no gender).

...so yeah, here's my silly fruit world!!! there's a lot of stuff left to talk about (with the gods of the world and everything) but this is good to start with :) i hope you like it!!!!

#dandy's doodles #botanica #osc #<- i never know if this really counts but i guess it does #this whole thing was very first created like 5 years before i even learned about the existence of object shows #but y'know there's a connection here #the reason why i love object shows so much is because i already personified inanimate objects!!#so yeah i guess this counts :)

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heseipikmin · 2 months

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Fuck it, almost every Plant in PVZ 2 compared to what AK Operator they correspond with (As well as Event Stages) (sorted by World) (Plants that don't seem to represent any Operator not accounted for)

Starter:

Sunflower: Myrtle

Peashooter: Adnachiel, Rangers, Durin

Walnut: Beagle, Noir Corne, Friston-3

Potato Mine: Robin, Frost

Cabbage Pult: Totter

Ancient Egypt: A Walk in the Dust

Repeater: Kroos, Jessica, Tachanka

Bloomerang: Caper, Jieyun (Skill 2), Shirayuki (Skill 2)

Bonk Choy: Any Brawler Guard

Iceberg Lettuce: Kafka

Twin-Sunflower: Elysium, Sailech

Pirate Seas: Heart of Surging Flame

Kernel Pult: Erato

Snapdragon: Any Reaper Guard, Any Spreadshooter Sniper

Spring Bean: Shaw (Skill 1)

Spikeweed: Bena, Kiara

Coconut Cannon: Pozemka (Skill 2), Fiametta (Skill 2)

Threepeater: Blue Poison (Skill 2), Fuze

Spikerock: Specter the Uncained, Kazemaru, Manticore

Cherry Bomb: THRM-EX

Wild West: Darknights Memoir

Split-Pea: Jessica the Liberated

Lightning-Reed: Any Chain-Caster

Pea Pod: Ling

Melon Pult: Catapult

Tall-Nut: Cuora

Winter Melon: Greyy the Lightningbearer

Frostbite Caves: Break the Ice

Pepper Pult: Catapult, Meteorite, Fiametta

Chard-Guard: Shaw (Skill 2)

Stunion: Kafka

Lost City: Gavial the Chief Returns

Red Stinger: Melanite (Skill 2)

A.K.E.E: Any Chain-Caster

Endurian: Bubble

Stalia: Ela (Skill 3)

Far Future: Dorothy's Vision, Lone Trail

Laser Bean: Melanite, Corroseum

Citron: Any Mystic-Caster

E.M Peach: Kafka

Magnifying Grass: Swire the Elegant Wit

Dark Ages: Maria Nearl, Near Light

Sun-Shroom: Poncirus

Puff-Shroom: Deepcolor

Fume-Shroom: Ifrit, Corroseum

Neon Mixtape Tour: Lingering Echoes

Phat Beet: Ethan

Celery Stalker: Mountain (Skill 2)

Spore-Shroom: Muelsyse

Jurassic Marsh: A Flurry to the Flame

Primal Wall-Nut: Gravel

Primal Potato Mine: Dorothy, W

Big Wave Beach: Dossoles Holiday

Guacodile: Iana

Bowling Bulb: Any Mystic-Caster

Banana Launcher: Goldenglow (Skill 3)

Modern Day: Integrated Strategies

Dusk Lobber: Sesa

Premium:

Snow-Pea: Orchid

Japaleno: Ifrit

Imitater: Muelsyse

Pea-Nut: Liskarm, Blitz

Sap-Fling: Greyy the Lightningbearer

Hurrikale: FEater

Strawburst: Any Mystic-Caster

Wasabi Whip: Any Instructor-Guard

Seed Packets:

Blooming Heart: Click

Aloe: Tuye (Skill 2)

Boom Balloon Flower: Dorothy

Mega Gatling Pea: Ash, Exusiai

Levitater: Qanipalaat, Ho'olheyak

Bamboo Warrior: Lin

#plants vs zombies 2 #pvz 2 #arknights #if theres a plant unaccounted for that actually represents an Operator please comment it down incase i missed one

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writing-with-melon · 11 months

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Hi! What elements from books / shows / things you like are present in your WIPs? Can you trace each WIP back to their main inspiration source(s)? (hope the question makes sense, I'm lurking in inboxes trying to be more writeblr-active)

@redotter hello! Thank you for stoping by!

OOOoh that's a good question!

I often borrow inspo from settings or situations from other works. I can't really pinpoint any specific elements because my writing is a patchwork of all the things I like or am thinking about at the moment.

But I can trace my Wips to their original sparks. For example, Pennyroyal and Asturia started as an idea sparked by the Kyoko/Bo and Ren/Koun (Skip Beat) dual identity + romance situation and the magic setup of Howl's Moving Castle.

Thank you for the question, friend! I think I answered it correctly.

#melon’s correspondence #writing

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stardewspellshed · 10 months

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Stardew Correspondences: Summer

Foraging

Grape (can also be grown during fall)- intoxication, infatuation, abundance, prosperity.

Spiceberry- acceleration, aggression

Sweet Pea- calm, peace, serenity, fragrance (figurative). Could be used in a literal sense to invoke effects from spells that you would cast with perfume in a physical setting.

Crops

Blueberry- multiplication, abundance, wealth.

Corn (can also be grown in fall)- longevity, endurance

Hops- glamour ingredients, intoxication, dependence

Hot Pepper- intensity, acceleration, a spark. Power enhancer for spells in general.

Melon- luxury, abundance, happiness, contentment.

Poppy- sleep, intoxication, death.

Radish- absorbing energy. Useful in storing power for wards, absorbing baneful magic, etc.

Red Cabbage- awakenings, seeing the true nature of things, breaking illusions/glamours/bindings, etc.

Summer Spangle- energy, vigor, excitement

Sunflower (can also be grown in fall)- sustainability, continuations, seeking positivity. Can be used to represent the sun.

Tomato- hatred, loathing, detestation, repulsion.

Wheat (can also be grown in fall)- an abundance, blessings, may you never be hungry literally or emotionally. Can be used to represent the element of earth.

Fishing

Catfish (in Secret Woods pond, can also be found in spring, fall)- storms both literal and emotional,depression, misery, drowning in sorrow. Useful for cursing and storm magic.

Dorado- representation of the season of summer itself.

Flounder (also found in spring)- unusual solutions, thinking outside the box

Halibut (also found in spring, winter)- to see the truth, to cut through artifice or glamours

Octopus- intelligence, awareness, sociability, cleverness

Pike (also found in winter)- irritant, annoyance

Pufferfish- don't touch that, repellent, barrier

Rainbow Trout- pride, enthusiasm

Red Mullet (also found in winter)- domesticity, companionship, close bonds

Red Snapper (also found in spring, can spawn while using a Rain Totem in winter)- childhood memories, nostalgia, comfort in the past

Shad (also found in spring, winter)- changeability, malleability, to manipulate the odds in your favor

Sturgeon (can also be found in winter with use of Rain Totem)- luxury, wealth, abundance, success after a struggle

Sunfish (also found in spring)- drawing things in, accessibility, easing burdens

Super Cucumber (also found in fall, in night market submarine)- magic, magical power, magical inspiration. Best used as an ingredient to strengthen other spells, or kept on hand while trying to create a spell.

Tilapia (also found in spring)- taking time to restore yourself, vacations/staycations, relaxation

Tuna (also found in winter)- being noticed, impactful first impressions, someone with a large personality.

Crimsonfish- dignity, nobility, putting on airs. Could perhaps be used to represent. a pompous person in specific situations.

#pop culture magic #pop culture witchcraft #techno magic #techno witchcraft #long post #correspondences

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delightingintragedy · 3 months

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Moon Correspondences

From Christian Astrology by William Lilly

(It is mostly word for word. I tried to format it to fit into a nice correspondence list, but the information itself is untouched.)

Zodiac: Rules Cancer. Exalted in Taurus, Detriment in Capricorn, Fall in Scorpio.

Nature: She is a Feminine, Nocturnal Planet, Cold, Moist and Phlegmatic.

Profession: Queens, Countesses, Ladies, all manner of Women; as also the common People, Travellers, Pilgrims, Sailors, Fishermen, Fishmongers, Brewers, Tapsters, Vintners, Letter-carriers, Coachmen, Huntsmen, Messengers, Mariners, Millers, Alewives, Malsters, Drunkards, Oysterwives, Fisherwomen, Charwomen, Tripewomen, and generally such Women as carry Commodities in the Streets; as also, Midwives, Nurses, Hackneymen, Watermen, Waterbearers.

Sicknesses: Apoplexies, Palsy, the Colic, the Bellyache, Diseases of the left Side, Stones, the Bladder and members of Generation, the Menstrues and Liver in Women, Dropsies, Fluxes of the Belly, all cold rheumatic Diseases, cold Stomach, the Gout in the Wrists and Feet, Sciatica, Colic, Worms in Children and men, Rheums or Hurts in the Eyes. In the Left of Men, and Right of Women: Surfeits, rotten Coughs, Convulsion fits, the Falling sickness, Kings-evil, Apostems, small Pox and Measles.

Colour: the White, or pale Yellowish white, pale Green, or a little of the Silver colour.

Savours: the Fresh, or without any savour, such as in Herbs before they be ripe, or such as do moisten the Brain.

Herbs & Plants: Those Herbs which are subject to the Moon have soft and thick juicy leaves, of the waterish or a little sweetish taste, they love to grow in watery places, and grow quickly into a juicy magnitude; and are: The Colwort, Cabbage, Melon, Gourd, Pompion, Onion, Mandrake, Poppy, Lettuce, Rape, the Linden tree, Mushrooms, Endive, all Trees or Herbs who have round, shady, great spreading Leaves, and are little Fruitful.

Beasts & Birds: All such Beasts, or the like, as live in the water; as Frogs, the Otter, Snails, the Weasel, the Cunny, all Sea Fowl, Cuckoo, Geese and Duck, the Night Owl.

Fishes: The Oyster and Cockle, all Shellfish, the Crab and Lobster, Tortoise, Eels.

Places: Fields, Fountains, Baths, Havens of the Sea, Highways and Desert places, Port Towns, Rivers, Fishponds, standing Pools, Boggy places, Common shores, little Brooks, Springs, Harbours for Ships or Docks.

Minerals: Silver.

Stones: The Selenite, all soft Stones, Crystals.

Weather: With Saturn cold Air; with Jupiter Serene; with Mars Winds red Clouds; with the Sun according to the Season; with Venus and Mercury Showers and Winds. She delights towards the North, and usually when she is the strongest Planet in the Scheme.

Angel: Gabriel

Planetary Alliance: Her enemy is Saturn, and also Mars.

Week Day: Monday

Correspondence posts for the other planets: [Sun] [Mercury] [Venus] [Mars] [Jupiter] [Saturn]

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lostmar · 6 months

Text

Murd’rous Machines: A Comedy

Act 1, Scene 1

Note: the numbers correspond to footnotes that you'll find at the bottom of the post

Characters in play: Uzi Doorman-a working Dron’

Khan Doorman-Father of Uzi, a working Dron’ gatesmithy

3 Disassembly Dron’s

N-Well meaning friend of Uzi

V-Vicious and vengeful Dissassembly Dron’

J-Leader of Dissassembly Dron’s

Thad-Pupil and a working Dron’.

Doll-Pupil and a working Dron’ of Russian origin

Lizzy-Pupil and a working Dron’

The Unnamed Worker(1)-Gatekeeper, a working Dron’

Various Working Dron’

[Uzi and Teacher in a classroom. Filled with students, among them Riley].

Uzi: Robotic workers art(2) we who toiled

To succor(3) Mankind to his ultimate

Goal of conquest and colonization.

Behold! Plan’ets on edge of the knowing

And dread(4) sense of Man have since becometh

Our domain to shred for his service

To th’ dishonorable Lord Jensen.

Who behaves to our wondrous kind species

Mere servants to windows crisp(5) despite our

Innate, humble nature

Gaze in some delight as th’ colony

Of Man ceases to function for profit

‘Cause of his utter arrogance come here.

Like th’ Icarus ‘fore him he fell down

And left us thou richst and gentle(6) plan’et;

Gave us this Copp’r-Nine to settle here

As our one and only true home for us.

This plan’et was wiped clean of man’s touches

And he graciously allowed us to live

Among ourselves as we raised our issue(7)

From our humble colony out lonesome,

To busy former Silicon City(8).

But ‘lo! Yond murd’rous tyrant Lord Jensen

Dispatched his servants of evil ‘gainst us

Who breathed out unspeakable crimes ‘mongst us

They did ruin our gentle cities and kin.

What remains most grievous to me is th’

Lack of care in which thy parents hath shown

Toward th' well being and prosperity,

Th' rough mortal body of I and thee.

As we cower behind th’ iron gates,

Thrice they art, to guard us from th’ thin air

Unneeded they art; they stir up more mess

Th’ med’cine to this ail is in mine palms.

Beholdeth! I present to class this gun

Crafted with th' power of th’ devil

To exterminate th' murd’ous machines

Of th' vile tyrant Lord Jensen’s joint stock(9).

Why(10) doth you fear like fatherless children?

Stand for your country and battle as men!

This weapon sees not good operation now;

Testing more needed, but p’rhaps it fire!

Riley: Woe! This unleashed chaos vexes(11) me soul!

Teacher:

Lazy pupil.

Thy problem was to count thy melons.

Uzi:

By some perchance doth this f’rearm suffice?

Teacher: Nay to question, an’ feelings thou shareth

Count but two marks on thy exam present(12).

To add, thy ‘arm’s colour seems most jealous(13).

Uzi:

Great woe am I and my class here present!

This gun exhausts itself with splendid heat

And fires free onto th'students front!

Railgun explodes. All Exit hastily.

(1)-Technically, according to the SMG4 and Murder Drone Wikis, this character is named Braxton. I thought it appropriate to call him unnamed as a joke from the pilot episode references his lack of a spoken name.

(2)-Are

(3)-Assist

(4)-Great

(5)- Uses us to clean windows

(6)-Noble

(7)- Descendents/Heirs

(8)- Silicon City fell to the Murder Drones in 2674 AD.

(9)- A company

(10)- Classmates panic/cower here

(11)- Annoys/Angers

(12)- Or, two points on the test/assignment.

(13)-Suspicious

#murd'rous machines #or #a murder drones shakespeare au #shakespeare #murder drones #murder drones writing #uzi doorman #uzi murder drones #teacher murder drones #writeblr #writers and poets #not written by me btw #it was written by my brother #im just posting it for him #also were gonna be updating this every saturday #:D

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