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blushk1tten · 3 months

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Ok, imagine you're a guest on Chuckle Sandwich, and the topic of Ted going to every MargaritaVille and the Rainforest Cafe comes up. Then, it turns to how you and Schlatt should go to every (whatever restaurant) in the country as a challenge. At first it was a joke, but then it slowly became something you and Schlatt started planning on. And during the trip, you guys starting getting closer and closer, knowing each other more and more. Where at the point you guys are flirting, touching, kissing, and even to the point you guys have sex.

I can even imagine that during one of the hotel rooms you guys were staying at, you accidentally see Schlatt full body naked. And seeing Schlatt absolutely embarrassed about it, you show Schlatt your naked body to make things even between you two.

i’m sorry this took so long but this prompt had me frothing at the mouth. i hope you enjoy <3

"no, because i loved when you went to every margaritaville and rainforest cafe," you explained to ted as you sat sandwiched between him and schlatt on their podcast. "i've had a similar idea for a while. i want to go to at least one cat cafe in every continental state, and along the way promote some shelters for people to adopt at."

ted raised his eyebrows curiously. "really? that sounds pretty cool. maybe you should take schlatt with you, since he's a lonely cat man and all."

"ignoring the fact that having two cats does not make me a lonely cat man," schlatt shot back at ted. "that sounds like a cool idea. i know there's plenty of cats like jambo and the other guy who need adopted."

you couldn't help but laugh a bit. "maybe ted's right. you sound pretty passionate about it for a totally not lonely cat man. you could come with me, and not be so lonely."

"fine!"

with that final word from schlatt, you had accidentally and officially locked yourself into the trip with him. he began to help you research cat cafes and shelters in every state, and helped you to plan the road trip map as well. that was only the start of the two of you getting closer. on the trip, it was a whole different thing.

"let's play twenty-one questions!" you suggested after leaving the cat cafe in austin, heading for your hotel and the next one in louisiana. after all, you had a roughly eight hour drive ahead of you.

schlatt scoffed, looking over at you. "isn't that a game for teenagers tryin' t' date someone?"

"no," you protested back. "it's for people to get to know each other better! i'll go first if you're going to be a dick. what's your favorite animal other than cats?"

he paused for a minute, then admitted his answer in a gruff voice. "bearded dragons. i used t’ have one when i was younger. he was a chill dude."

"see, that's nice, and i learned something new about you," you gave him a small smile. "now you ask me a question."

"are you a virgin?"

"schlatt! i'm not answering that."

the game continued to go similarly, with you asking genuine questions to get to know schlatt, while he asked raunchier questions to poke fun at you and get under your skin. about halfway through your journey though, you gave in, and began to answer him.

"what's your biggest turn on?"

"any kind of intimate touch."

he raised his eyebrows, surprised that he finally got an answer. "intimate touch? what does that mean?"

you could feel your face grow hot as you tried to explain. "any touch from a partner of mine, even if it's casual."

"even if they, like, shake your hand?"

that eased the tension, and you burst out into laughter as you shook your head. "okay, maybe not any touch."

with each leg of the trip, the two of you learned more about each other and grew closer. about halfway through the trip though, was when things began to heat up between the two of you. it wasn’t uncommon for the two of you to flirt or use pet names with the other.

“hey, toots,” he called to you, keeping his voice quiet so he didn’t startle the cats. “look at this one. i think it likes me.”

you couldn’t but giggle from your spot on the floor, where a gaggle of cats and kittens had been swarming you for affection. throughout your trip, you had come to find that most of the cats preferred you to schlatt. some found his large stature imposing, while others just didn’t like men, so it was a special moment whenever any cats would come up to him. this time, it was an old, graying tabby, purring loudly from its spot on schlatt’s lap.

“the first time you’ve ever gotten pussy in your life, big guy?” you teased, standing up and moving to sit beside him.

“oh, fuck you,” he scoffed softly, though he looked at you with a smile. “he just knows i’m the better person out of us. look, he’s not interested in you at all.”

it was true. the cat was completely content with schlatt and paying no attention to you. meanwhile, you couldn’t help but pay attention to schlatt. with a soft smile on his face as he scratched the cat’s chin and back, he looked endearing. dare you say it, he looked handsome. you couldn’t help it when you leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

schlatt stopped petting the cat instantly, looking at you with surprise in his brown eyes. then, after a moment, he spoke up. “you missed.”

this time, you could feel the surprise on your face as he leaned in again and kissed you on your lips, soft and tender. it wasn’t until the cat on schlatt’s lap meowed in displeasure at the lack of pets that you broke apart.

“i’ll— i’ll edit that out.” you stammered, glancing at the various cameras you had set up while schlatt resumed petting the cat.

“yeah,” he nodded, a light blush on his cheeks. “that sounds good.”

from that point on, flirting and pet names came with the addition of kisses. sometimes they happened on camera in the cat cafes, while other times one of you would invite the other over to their hotel room for a heated makeout session. soon enough though, the trip was coming to an end. you only had a few more cat cafes left before the road trip was over. that would mean an end to the flirting, the pet names, and the kisses that managed to steal your breath each time.

you were thinking about it forlornly as you headed to schlatt’s hotel room, hoping for a nice makeout session to cheer you up. he had actually given you the extra key, so you didn’t think twice as you swiped the card and opened his door. however, you didn’t even make it a step in before you noticed schlatt, completely nude with his bath towel in hand.

“oh my god!” you exclaimed, catching his attention as well.

the last thing you saw before turning on your heel and slamming the door was a glimpse of something massive between his thighs, heat filling your face as you ran back to your own room. you had no idea how you would address that incident, nor did you know if you wanted to. the flirting, pet names, and kissing was one thing, but seeing him naked and anything beyond that was something else.

eventually, you heard the buzz of a keycard opening up your room, though you kept your gaze firmly on the floor as you sat at the end of your bed.

“doll,” schlatt spoke up after a moment. “i’m not mad at you or anything. i gave you a keycard t’ my room so you could come whenever you wanted. i should’ve changed in the bathroom or said somethin’ when i heard the door.”

you shook your head, hoping that any embarrassment on your face was gone as you looked up. “no, jay, it’s my fault. i should’ve knocked before coming in.”

he sat down next to you on the bed. “we both could’ve done stuff differently, but hey, shit happens.”

you nodded, the wheels in your brain turning. you wanted to make it up to him somehow. then, it hit you. the best— or possibly the worst— idea that you had ever had. “i could get naked and let you see to make up for it.”

schlatt went silent for a moment, staring at you as if you had just spoken another language. “what?”

“i’m serious,” you told him. “i got to see you, so you should get to see me. then, we’ll be even.”

his throat bobbed as he swallowed. then, he nodded. “well, toots, better get to it.”

with that, you stood up and began to strip, first pulling off your top, then tugging your shorts down. the whole time, you could feel your heart pounding. you’d gotten naked in the past for others, but something about doing it for schlatt, the same schlatt you’d been growing feelings for, felt different. still, you continued, taking off your bra and underwear as well until you were finally naked in front of him. schlatt’s first words were the same as yours.

“oh my god, doll,” he took a sharp breath as he looked you over, his eyes beginning to smolder with lust. “you look perfect. like everything i’ve imagined and more.”

you couldn’t help but blush, though you were a bit surprised as well. “what do you mean everything you’ve imagined?”

schlatt blinked, his lust fading in confusion. “doll, you have t’ know how much i want ya by now, i just— i didn’t want t’ make you uncomfortable, so i took what i could get.”

“what do you mean when you say you want me?”

“platonically, sexually, romantically. whatever i can get.”

it felt like a weight came off your shoulders when schlatt said that, and you couldn’t help but smile as you walked forward to sit on his lap. “what about all of the above?”

he nodded, then like so many other times, he leaned in to kiss you. this time though, it was different, full of a special kind of passion that came with knowing your feelings were reciprocated. of course, there was also the fact that you were completely naked in schlatt’s lap, his hands running over every inch of skin he could reach.

“jay,” you whined between kisses. “wanna fuck you.”

“fuck, hold on, doll. lemme get my clothes off and get you prepped.”

he didn't take long in stripping, allowing you to finally get a good look at his body. that included his long, thick cock, hanging heavy between his thighs and curving slightly to the left.

"how is that supposed to fit?" you mumbled quietly to yourself, though schlatt chuckled as he heard.

"don't worry, doll," he promised, moving down and pressing a kiss to your clit. "i'll make sure you're nice and wet f' me."

you couldn't help but gasp as he dived in, your fingers tangling in his hair as he ate your pussy like it was his last meal. his own fingers were busy playing with your clit, as he drank up the slick coming from your cunt. "jay!"

schlatt moved and pressed a kiss to your clit before pulling back with a grin, switching to sliding two fingers in your pussy. "c'mon, doll. we're just getting started,"

a high-pitched whine left your mouth, and your back arched as he began to search for the spot that would make you fall apart. it didn't take long either, his grin growing as you called out for him again. "there it is. that's my pretty girl, soakin' my fuckin' fingers. are you gonna cum, baby?"

you nodded, crying out as he began to suck your clit as well. it was your undoing, and you quickly reached your orgasm as he continued to pump his fingers. "i'm cumming, jay! i'm cumming!"

he pulled off and gently pulled his fingers out, face shining slightly with your slick. "good girl. did that feel okay?"

once again, you nodded, panting for breath. "felt amazing."

schlatt leaned in to kiss you, a string of slick connecting your lips as he pulled back. you both laughed, and he pulled back further to break it. "so, are you ready for the rest?"

"yes please," you murmured, him carefully getting into position over you. "just be gentle."

"i promise." he replied, leaning in again to give you a quick kiss before he pushed in.

despite how wet and open you felt, schlatt was big enough that it was a stretch. your nails dug into his back, and you couldn't stop the whimper that escaped you. "oh my god, oh my god—"

he stopped for a minute, looking down at you in concern. still, you could see how hard he was working to keep still. "you okay, doll?"

"just give me a minute. your dick is fucking massive."

the two of you stayed in silence, each trying not to move until you finally gave the go ahead. this time, as schlatt finished pushing in and began to move, you could feel pleasure starting to run up your spine.

"feeling better?" he grinned, his smug attitude beginning to return as the pleasure was clear on your face.

"mhm," you agreed, beginning to roll your hips in time with his thrusts. "feeling a lot better— fuck!"

he adjusted your position into a mating press, making it so you could hear the wet sounds of your pussy as he thrust in, and let out a groan. "fuck, doll. your pussy's so wet f' me. gonna pump you full of cum, get ya even more slick,"

you couldn't help but whimper, clenching around his cock at that statement and making him chuckle a bit. "you like that idea? me fillin' you up with all my cum, gettin' your tummy all round?"

"please," you begged with a sob, making him pick up his pace with another groan. "please breed me, jay!"

"shit, doll, is that it? you want me to make you a mama?"

you nodded, drunk with pleasure. "mhm, please, jay. need your cum so bad."

"you'll get it doll," he grunted, moving his hand down to your clit as well. "just give me a minute. want you to cum too."

sure enough, it didn't take much longer for schlatt's thrusts to grow sloppy and his breathing to grow ragged. "you ready, baby?"

"yes, jay," you moaned, back arching once again as you felt your orgasm building. "gonna cum!"

"then cum, doll. need you to cum so i can give you a baby." he grunted, fingers continuing to dexterously play with your clit.

that was all it took for you to peak, tumbling over the edge with a cry. you could feel yourself milking schlatt as you came, causing him to cum shortly after. you couldn't help but feel tears prick at your eyes from the full feeling. it was everything you could have dreamt of with schlatt and more.

he helped you clean up afterwards, gentle and caring, before snuggling with you in bed.

"so," he eventually murmured, playing with your hair. "we're going to keep this up for the rest of the trip, and even after, right?"

you smiled softly, cuddling closer to him and giving him a kiss. "i think we'll be doing this for a long time to come."

#jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x you #schlatt x reader #schlatt x you #jschlatt hcs #schlatt hcs #jschlatt headcanons #schlatt headcanons #jschlatt smut #schlatt smut #blush ꨄ

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moreventsthanamongus · 3 months

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big time vent

The first memory I have of my body is when I was 8. In year 4 we were learning about the different states, solid liquid gas. Miss Nolan handed around a bag of cholate buttons and asked us all to take one, hold it in your hand or place it on your tongue, and see what happens she said. I’ll hold mind in my hand I thought, then my classmates will know I’m not fat because I’m greedy, I just happen to look that way. No one else held theirs, I walk to the bathroom alone to wash my hands.

When I’m 10 I walk to school alone. I’ve only just started to be interested in boys, and I’m even more aware of how I look. I know I'm bigger than the other kids my age. A group of men in a car stop for me at the zebra crossing. They tell me I'll grow into my body soon. They tell me to give them a call. I'm only 10 I think, can't they see my school uniform? I'll never know their names.

When I'm 13 I have a friend named Luce. She's pretty and skinny. She's a vegetarian, so I become one, maybe I can be skinny too. She's anorexic, so I imitate it, maybe I can be skinny too. I starve myself when people can see, and I go home and eat. I develop binge eating disorder. My weight doesn't change. I'll never forget her name.

When I'm 14, we spend out time at sleepovers on Omegle. It's what everyone did. You laugh when old men flash you and ask how old you are. Something doesn't feel right, but everyone's doing it. I'll never know their names.

When I'm 15, I use Tagged. Everyone around me is in a relationship, and I think my chances are better online. I speak to all sorts of men from different ages. I'm not being groomed I think. I know what grooming is. These men are just kind to me when they talk about my body. A 21 year old man named Nick plans for me to visit him. I'll never forget his name.

When I'm 16, I loose my virginity to Jake. It wasn't special, or mind blowing. But I loved him, and it was intimate. I still remember small details, how we went to London and the science museum, my red lipstick, his blue camo coat, how we raced my parents home so we would have a free house. I consented, and he checked. I'll never forget his name.

When I'm 16, I start college. I meet Quaid. He tells me I'm pretty. He convinces me to send him photos of myself, I think he likes me. He shares the photos with his friends. I don't know the names of the men who have seen my breasts now. I cry because I'm a slut, I've only had sex with one man. I'll never forget his name.

When I'm 16, I date Julien. I think he loves me. He rapes me. It's not rape I tell myself, he thinks my no's are playing. Like when he tickles me. He leaves me and gets with another woman, and starts telling everyone about my saggy tits. I don't bother explaining gravity. I go to the youth centre in town, and the man tells me that it's hard to prove rape if he was my boyfriend. I steal ibuprofen from my nan, and swallow them. I get scared and call 999 for myself, dying is scary. I survive. I'll never forget his name.

When I'm 17, me and Ryan break up. I still have to stay at his house, as we made plans. He's drunk and he starts to touch me. I don't want him to, so I say no. I sleep on the floor that night. I know how to say no, and he respected it. He ends up cheating on me and getting chlamydia, I'll never forget his name.

When I'm 18, I start university. I haven't experience night life before this, except drinking in a field with friends. One night my friends go home early, they leave me with someone, I can't remember who. Another man wants to take me home, no-one checks what I want. I remember trying to stop him. I remember waking up and he was gone. I remember the comments from my flatmates about the good night I just had. I don't know if anything happened, what proof do I have if I don't even know what he looks like. I'll never know his name.

When I'm 18, My binge eating disorder gets worse. I plan it days ahead. I still do not know that I have an eating disorder. One cheat day won't hurt I tell myself.

When I'm 26, My boyfriend of 3 years sexually assaults me. I don't know that yet. I wake up from a nap with Liam. One of his hands were down my pants, and the other down his. He notices I wake up and he stops. Maybe he thought I was awake, I tell myself. He breaks up with me 6 months later, that was the last time he touched me. Maybe if I stayed asleep he would still love me I tell myself. Maybe if I let him he would still love me. It's not assault if he's my boyfriend right. It's not rape if he didn't use his penis. I bring it up the last time we speak, he doesn't remember it happening. Maybe I'm just making it up. I'll never forget his name.

When I'm 26, I am the most suicidal I've ever felt. I plan my suicide using tools from amazon. I stop working, I binge nearly every day. My boss buys me 6 hours of therapy. I start to realise that I was sexually assaulted. I was asleep, I could not consent. I did not consent. I realise that I have an eating disorder, and that every time I do it, I've been self harming. I continue therapy from my own wallet, until the desire to kill myself subsides.

My name is Ally and I'm 26 years old, and I start to wonder when I lost ownership of my own body. Was it when I was 8 and decided that my peers opinion of my body mattered more than mine? Was it when I was first catcalled or flashed. Was it when images of me were shared without my consent, or when sexual acts were taken from me without consent. Did I get ownership back when I said no, and proved I could say no, only to loose it again to the next man to take it?

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captainkurosolaire · 3 years

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~ Mass Update ~

Mainly going into future plans and intents alongside ideas below cut.

Ton's of things I've in store this will prove difficult to vent it all out. But here we go... First off rehashing and appropriately learning to tag and organize things better on my blog. Each category will have their own corresponding content, I seek to bring or share. [Tales of Goldbrand] -- I intend this to carry a Compendium of all my writes soon that'll have everything neatly in-order including a glossary, so it'll have highlights of stories that even matter or the best stuff. I've written here for a very, long time, there's been many shifts. I want to make it more accessible. While coloring what matters for people who want to learn Captain or his Crew with less chapters. While also giving choice to find it all easily. This is essentially a step-above master-lists. I'll be doing that after the Saga I have going on, right now is done. [Captain] -- Will provide you strictly with Captain screenshots, gifs, photo-sets. This is still his blog despite the Crew thing's will sort of make this a scuffed Multi-Muse blog. I've few more things to edit and tag fix to get all his stuff though. [The Wild Crew] -- Afterwards this story is done Immortal Age Saga, It's something that I mainly wrote as a passion project within three days to get my warm-up process fixed. It's to allow me to get a feel for all his Crewmates and casts, in combat, in-general, to feel their presences. While also giving a bit of their backstories. At any point, I can go back and polish or tweak things in. They're NPC's but... not entirely. All will have their own 'Dreams' and their own 'Disapproval's' they have their own missions even. These things will factor eventually, they might set seeds, to betray or disagree with something, but that's all angst and more stories to be created, but overall, they'll probably always be Crew, eventually. -- I plan on making character-profile sheets of them and putting them in this Tab, it'll have their screenshots, their likes/dislikes. Some RP partners or people can also be shipped with them, but they'll all be monogamous and originally start off probably Pan. This allows them to figure out what they like on their own stories. I've always been someone who likes organic-flow. Although this one story contain all 16 characters or more, the rest will probably be shortened to a Squad of 4 and dispersed when on adventuring missions. Until I do a War Arc, that's my main goal to build too. [Roster] -- Will contain this Crew in just screen-sets dedicated to them, I'll probably randomly produce those. I've PC players among this Crew too. I may not be done either adding more, but this Crew is mainly built around Quality. Most pirate crew's mainly, have hundreds, thousands. Even Fleets. This Crew has personalities, monsters, people who are living life's that exist with piracy. He's an particular leader that had PC players the same way, he's had split-personality serial killers aboard, tribal chieftains, succubus, all sorts of various people once on a Crew. It's often an outcast style, pirates default are chaotic in nature, so this really isn't any different, it's a Fantasy version of it. There's humanization characters aboard too though, so this cast is really decked, everything and person is vital, they matter because they remind or covet something that others can draw upon. If ever played (Three Houses or Mass Effect / Dragon Age Origins) A lot of things like that are relatable too this structure and format. Which, Is something I want to be able to give when RPing. I want a genuine feel of this new world someone else's muse will be the main-character too. Depending on what's interacting everything they'll be scale appropriately to follow the genre they're in and environment even. [Aesthetics] -- Already explainable what you'll find here. [Asks] -- Same thing. [Prompts] -- Trivial things I was tagged too, I plan on compiling later. [Writing] -- Another alternatively to randomly go-down and it works right now. [Logs] -- Will have more individualistic master-lists and posts there, my poems from Sheik Sphere the Bard, etc.

Things of that nature, I'll probably add still. It's where a lot of my creative writing is summed. [Gems of Hydaelyn] -- My main #tag for other characters and artists, creationist. Lot of amazing people easily to find their zones or follow them optionally if you like. Ton's I intend to support and bolster, be a lot less unspoken. I'm never the type who's been strictly inclusive. But I'll do that when I've time to even explore the dash, I'm always still planning ahead with things and projects. [CKS] My original character-sheet it's outdated on something's but not too terrible. I'll give him polishing someday, I swear? [21+F-List] -- Just purely degenerate stuff of Captain. I'm a pirate blog. I will represent that with openness and furthermore. I'm never projecting you some false-image. I started off a smut-writer by stripping that, I no-longer represent the same aura and identity. But those are strictly his stuff and kinks, I'm effective in executing them but they're not all relatable to me OOC. This blog will always be 18+ containing crude or dark material sometimes, romantic things, this Captain is blunt, will literally put his cock on the table in conversations. Swearing and being censored would be too uncommon and displace most of him, but there's more about him then all this. [Other] -- I pay homage to a lot of characters, I originally am a Concept Designer. Which mean's I make characters and ideas like my addiction. Bad characters / villains or other little things I like to share in designs, I'll put there. Some villains might get little photo-sets, even if they died. Just cause I like their design, or maybe I'll give them an AU, where they won. When I've wrapped up things. [Collabs + Ships] -- Is a new project idea. This isn't going to be something limited too romantic only ships. It'll contain, platonic, romantic, friendships, rivals, frenemies, family, PC Crew, all ships. I am desperately working on improving my gif, screenshot, posing game so I can supply 'Screen Stories' this is not only a way to RP that's accessible with even people who are upon time-crunches from work, It gives visual-representation. To impactful stories shared with others and establish bonds. That are all-valid and impactful matter. Lot of people take a lot of their characters attributes into them and are them dialed up, I work with that and bit more, differently. I'm disconnected from my characters and they'll get hurt and injured and killed by me, that's my duty as their Author to give them conflicts and struggles. I'm their major antagonist, but that doesn't mean at-all, it's always SET that way. The characters I like to make have their own life, they live in this setting and are abide by it, they're often nothing, nobodies, and by the interacting with others, they slowly gradually building, more... Through emotional impacts, they alter, these are REAL people by all their beliefs. Each person they come in-contact with are legitimate and treated like that too. They've always impacted or given them insights to grow, or represent more. Otherwise it'd be criminally disrespectful if I allowed any emotional I felt OOC be the grudge to something IC. Captain in-particular is set on defying me. I cannot have that. ...But I can't stop him. He's met and encountered so many people and lived so many scenarios based on the actions of others, he's giving a chance right now to actually do things a lot further than impossible. The more people he meets and encounters, experiences, the more I lose. These stories are emotionally interactive where everything is a factor and adds to the dice, where the other people are the one who get to roll the dice for him, not me. That's something I want to color in. People range in emotions, they have their down's, ups, their own wholesome-grounding people, spending time with your favorite people, there's nothing more cherishing than that, being in your own comfort-zone or 'safe-space' these are all treasures that we live under, today. Contrary if what people assume of me, I'm not another 'blogger' that's came

before, who's wanting to force a harem, then constantly is bewildered when that falls to pieces cause of selfishness or a lack of communication, or the skeletons they have in their closets and beliefs they hid behind and swindled fooled everyone. I'm not looking to be popular or anything really, I just create stories and want to share in those, and I want to also boost others included, upward with me, especially those who make me. There's no ego in anything I do, this is purely love. I've never cared about being replicated or duplicated, I've had stalkers, I've gone through more then anyone would imagine, I've been used OOC and abused, just for my writing and cold-harshly told, i'd never amount to anything other then that or vice-versa. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Passion. That's all I got and am anymore. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Passion is the hardest thing to keep. It's something that can be stolen, quite effortlessly. Few words of discouragement, a bad negative representation, a lack of confidence, or small amount of time, there's many thing's that can put that flame out. Once you lose it. The difficulty to reattain is hundred-times harder than climbing any mountain for real. I've watched the greatest creators crumble from under the pressure, from beaten down by others. I watched many of them do it to themselves because they put a grand vision of needing validation of another and once lost, felt uncompelling to press onward. But passion also can be given BACK and drawn. It can be shown and encourage others, with a soft-triggering, that pushes them. That motivates, that constantly sticks to it. There are many that fuel me. If I ever quit, I let them down, I spit in the faces of people who're better than me in every-way. Or people who've came and given me their precious Time. That have given their character's or dedication to the abundant stories and community-driven things I've done. There's ONLY things you can do, create, give and provide. It cannot ever come to life without YOU. This is a fact. ...I swear, If you let your creativity soar, you'll be amazed by the heights you get. Constantly polish and learn and hone the best you, challenge yourself day after painstaking day, to draw better improvement on something, no matter how trivial or unfamiliar you are. You'll find a confidence only you can give yourself. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Future Plans --------------------------------------------------------------------- For me, I've got so much more stories to give and also explore, I might be taking up soon some other artists and more skilled people from community and hire them for some of my future writes, to up my game or cause something thing's can't be done in-game cause no background carries it. I also got a lot of-set up things and more angst stuff I want to practice, plus I'm adamantly on that grind to produce screen-sets with the intent's to some sort of improving daily. Additionally more people I'll be reaching out too soon for these collab's ideas and things. I look forward to shaking your hands, giving some hugs, show you my respect and admiration, then creating some enchanting stories and giving plots light. Feel free to reach out to me, I get scattered-brain but I'm working on getting better about it. Eventually will get to you though, my goals, if uninterested just say so when I poke, no bites, unless you kinky. Anyways, cheers hearties.

#ooc #update #future plans stuffz #ToG #Work on thinking of daily practice now

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xpeachesncream · 3 years

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acquainted | ten

> series masterlist | series playlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: jungkook x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 2.7k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, jealousy, some good car sex w/ breast play, straddling, fingering, a lil spit play

note: to the anon who requested the one shot, i promise i have it done - i can’t post it juuuust yet tho lol

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish @photographic-girl @yonkoghan @moonchild1 @thebeebi (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"How was your date, Jungkookie?" Hoseok asks as he forks into his salad. Jungkook sits in front of Hoseok and Yoongi, while Namjoon and Jin sit off to either of his sides. Kook does a simple chuckle with his nose scrunched as he's digging into his fries.

"Good." He smirked.

"Oooh, Jungkookie has a girlfriend!" Hoseok laughed, causing both Namjoon and Jin to shoot looks at each other while shifting in their seats.

"No, but I hope to ask her out."

"Wait, like really ask her to be your girlfriend?" Yoongi chimed in, his gummy smile coming forth with a small high-pitched laugh. "How cute."

"Yeah, I want to. Not right at this moment, but I've already been planning on how to have this talk with her about being exclusive."

"Aw, our Kookie is growing up!"

"Shut up." Jungkook laughs. "I just really like her. She's beautiful, and smart and fun to be around."

"Are you seeing her today?"

"No, but I'm gonna hang out with her tomorrow. She has stuff to get done."

"Do you see her a lot?"

"A good amount, but I try not to suffocate her."

"Jin, you haven't said anything. What's up with you?" Jin looks up from his plate, eyes quickly roaming between all of them.

"Sorry, I just knew all of this already. It's nothing unexpected." He gives off a fake chuckle.

"Grace issues?" He shrugged.

"Sure, but this isn't about me." They nod and shift their attention back to Jungkook. Whew.

"Have you gotten her in bed?"

"Woah, Yoongi? What the fuck." Namjoon laughed.

"I'm just curious and we're always honest with each other right?" Joon shoots Jin a quick look before shaking his head at Yoongi.

"No." Kook chuckled. "I mean I don't care for it much. If she isn't ready to take that step with me then I won't force her."

"What a gentleman! Jin you taught him well." They laughed. Jin is reciprocating the energy with a small smile, as that's the best he can do right now. He didn't want this topic to come up only because he did already know how Jungkook felt about you. Yes, he felt bad, but also, he didn't want to let up on you. He wasn't going to, and Namjoon can easily tell he wasn't over you even though he told Jungkook to go for it. He hated having this silent competition. He knew his feelings for you were growing and he couldn't help but feel like a child over it.

I saw her first. I got her first. Me. Not you.

And so their conversation over an early dinner gets put to rest, Jin thanking God that no one pressed him more about Grace or why he truly wasn't saying much. They were all too caught up in Jungkook's feelings. All, except Namjoon. Jin gets to his classroom a little early to get himself together for class, gathering all his thoughts and feelings about you, Jungkook, Grace, etc., and pushing it to a far, far corner in his mind. At least, until class is over.

[Namjoon] 5:04pm: You couldn't be any more obvious.

[Jin] 5:05pm: What are you talking about now?

[Namjoon] 5:05pm: You're still seeing her. Or, let me rephrase - You're still trying to pursue her even after you told your brother to go for it.

[Jin] 5:06pm: It's complicated.

[Namjoon] 5:06pm: Seokjin, please. What did I tell you? Don't start this mess.

[Jin] 5:07pm: It'll be fine, okay? I appreciate the concern but stop worrying about me.

He sighs as he paces around the front of his room. The real reason as to why you weren't hanging out with Jungkook tonight was because of him. He needed to see you. Feel you. Touch you. Be close to you. There was also something he needed to bring up, hoping you'd agree to it.

Namjoon was right. The concern is valid. However, if things pull through the way Seokjin expects it to, then he knows what he has to do from there. He'll know how to approach this better. Hopefully.

Seeing you in class makes him feel at ease. He loves the little smiles you send his way when you both make eye contact. He just loves to look at you. Smiling and laughing with your friends. Your serious face when it's time to focus. He has it bad for you.

"Alright, class. Get those in to me on time by next week and I'll think about the movie." Jin laughs as the class has mixed reactions while packing up their things.

"But Mr. Kim it's a really good movie, don't you think we deserve a little break in class?" Taehyung whines as he picks up his bag.

"I always think you guys deserve a break, the movie though? Not sure if it's my cup of tea."

"Awww come on, just once." The class whined, making Jin laugh that adorable laugh he has. It was cute to see how adored Jin was by your classmates. He truly was a great teacher and made it a safe environment for everyone. Completely inclusive.

"I'll sleep on it. See you guys next week." He smiles and flashes a wink at a couple of people leaving the classroom saying their goodbyes. He stands at the front, his hands dug into his pockets as he looks at you and Ryujin coming down the steps - always being the last to leave.

"I'm counting on you, Mr. Kim." Ryujin says, flipping her hair.

"Counting on me for what?"

"The movie." She turns to look at you. "And other things." You shove her out the door before looking over at Jin, who hasn't stopped chuckling.

"You heard her." He nods.

"Pick you up in a few?" He asks, almost at a whisper. You return the nod and smile before walking out. You silently walk next to Ryujin, thinking about what tonight would be about. Not gonna lie, you were excited to be alone with him again, even if that meant being in his car, sitting in silence. The thought alone made you happy. The thought made you push through the day just to get to this point.

"Are you seeing him?"

"Yeah." Is all you respond to Ryujin with.

"Be careful, okay?"

"I know." Ryujin knew you weren't going to let up on Jin easily. She too, just like Namjoon, could tell that you had developed deep feelings for him, yet she just didn't know how you would approach it. Whatever it was though, she was going to have your back and be there for you. She just wished you had told the boys because handling you alone is work! Extra support would have been nice!

Getting home, you toss your things aside and start working on a few assignments until Jin is texting you that he's outside of your building. You feel a little nervous, as if it's a first date when it's really not. You step out of the elevator and into the lobby, just to see him ahead in the driver's seat. He has one hand resting along the wheel while he's scrolling through his phone in the other.

"Hey." You say as you hop into the passenger's seat. He puts his phone down and looks at you, his head tilted towards you and rested against the headrest.

"Hey pretty girl." He softly smiles as he leans over to kiss you on the lips. "Want some ice cream?" You laugh.

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not?" He begins to drive off, taking you to a nearby ice cream joint.

"How was your day today?" You ask him as he's roaming the streets looking for parking.

"It was alright. Went to work for a bit and met up with the boys for an early dinner before class."

"How was that?" He keeps his eyes on the road.

"Mm, good. I love sitting around and hearing about my brother's feelings for you." You chuckle at his sarcasm.

"You're dramatic."

"Call it what you want." He says. "It's still not fair."

"You can do something about it, you choose not to though." You straight up tell him. He parks his car and looks over at you, a small smirk plastered on his face.

"So, do you want me to do something about it?"

"Jin, please. Don't turn this on me. You're the one whining." You get out of the car. It was true. He kept talking about Jungkook and how he couldn't stand it, but yet, his ass was over here doing absolutely nothing. You expected that much though, because what? Was he just going to up and leave his fiancé because of a little jealousy? You honestly didn't think it was that deep for Jin. Maybe a little bit of a competition, but nothing too serious. And that was honestly the most painful realization for you.

You probably weren't worth it.

"I'm not whining, love. Trust me." You subtly roll your eyes at the weak comeback, but you don't throw in a rebuttal. Were you worth it? It was hard to read Jin sometimes. There were days where you felt like this could be more, then there were days where you felt dumb as hell for even having the thought cross your mind.

Like right now, you feel like this could be more with the way he's letting you taste his ice cream, his hand below your chin to catch any melting ice cream from dripping onto your clothing. He takes his cone back to his lips at the same time he's raising the napkin to the corners of your lips. You're both sitting in his car, overlooking the bay and the San Francisco skyline view in his back seat. There's a walking trail in front of the small lot his car is currently parked in, but no one is around. It's just you, Seokjin and your ice cream cones.

"Mmmm, thank you." You say gobbling up the last bit of your cone.

"You're welcome." He chuckles. "How was your day?" You shrugged.

"Same old." You fold your leg onto the seat while the other draped over it just so you could turn and look at Jin. You lean your head against the seat, watching him eat the last bits of his cone. You admired him, and you couldn't help but marvel at how absolutely breathtaking he was. The goddamn nerve. He was literally sitting there in a hoodie and jeans and you thought he was the most endearing thing.

"Sounds fun." He clears his throat as he tosses the napkin into the cup holder in front.

"Why'd you bring me out here?"

"I just wanted to see you. Is that too much to ask for?" He looked at you. "I missed you."

"You see me in class."

"It's not the same and you know it." He cocks his head to the side again to look at you. "Come here." He grabs your hand to pull you closer to him and leans in for a kiss. You rest your hand on his neck as you continue to kiss him back, the sounds of slow kisses being exchanged filling the car. You climb onto his lap as the kiss deepens, your hands gripping Jin's face while his warm, soft hands explored inside your sweater. "You drove me crazy the other night." He whispers as you slightly pull away.

"Good." You respond, bringing your lips back onto his, slowly grinding your hips into his.

"Fuck." He hisses. He quickly aids in removing your leggings before unbuckling his jeans. You feel his hardened member underneath his boxer briefs against your clothed folds, causing you to slightly tilt your head back in pleasure. You feel his hands travel up to your bra, unhooking it and raising your sweater to suck on your nipples freely. You feel his tongue working in circular motions on your hardened bud, causing you to let out a breathy moan. His eyes wander up to your face, slightly shutting close when he sees how much you're enjoying this. He moves to the other breast, his free hand cupping the one he had just removed himself from, tongue exploring your nipple. His hand moves down to aggressively hook your panties to the side, giving him room to swipe his fingers up and down your wet folds.

"Oh shit." You slightly jerk at the sensation, his long fingers taking their sweet time spreading your wetness all around your pussy.

"You're so fucking wet." He keeps his eyes on you and watches your eyes roll to the back of your head when he inserts two digits, pumping them in and out. It's incredibly hot to him how fucking wet you are, the sounds of your pussy now echoing in the car.

"Jin, ohhhhshit." You mewl. "I'm gonna cum." He continues to pump his long fingers into you, the feeling of both pain and pleasure radiating throughout your body. He curves his digits upwards, tickling your core to send you hurdling over the edge. You buck in your position from how hard the orgasm hits you, Jin's wet fingers swiping your folds and gently caressing your sensitive clit. You squeal, the overstimulation becoming a little overbearing but it feels so fucking good. You unbury his hardened member from his boxer briefs, letting your spit dribble down onto his cock as you play with the pre-cum pooling at the head.

"Oh fuck, Y/N. Don't do that shit." He tilts his head back in pleasure. You silently chuckle as you jerk him, getting his dick a little wet before hopping on and filling yourself up with it.

"Ugh, why do you feel so fucking good?" You moan as you fix your position onto him, slowly riding him and easing your way into it. You slip his two fingers into your mouth to taste yourself, his fingers still dripping from your cum.

"I-I've been wanting to fuck you so badly." He lets out a breathy moan. "The things you do to me."

"Yeah?" You say, picking up the pace as his hands guide your hips and direct your pace.

"Just like that, baby." He groans. You love when he called you baby. It made you want to give him all of you.

Your hands are resting on his shoulders, gripping tightly as you grind your hips in a steady motion. You cock your head back in pleasure, Seokjin's hands gripping your breasts. You begin to roll your hips slowly, a louder moan erupting from both him and you.

"I'mgonnafuckingcum." Your words mesh together, unable to speak clearly at how good he feels deep inside of you.

"You're so tight. God, you feel so good, gonna cum with you." Sooner or later, a roll of the hip or two in, your coil is spiraling out of control, causing you to yell Jin's name as you scratch onto his clothed shoulders, his fingers digging deep into your skin as he fills you up at the same time you're milking his dick.

His head slowly raises from against your chest, his cheeks tinted and eyes slightly glazed. He smiles up at you, his lips locking with yours once more before you climb off to clean yourself.

"Y/N." He says, tucking himself back in and getting himself situated in the seat.

"Hm?" You hook your bra back together and fix your sweater.

"I'm going to LA this weekend for a quick business conference." You furrowed your eyebrows, unsure why he was telling you this. It's not like you asked him for a daily play by play.

"Okay, have fun?" You chuckle.

"Meet me there." He looks at you. "I have to be there by Friday morning, but I know you still have work and school."

"Meet you.. in LA?" He nods.

"I really want you to. I'll buy your plane ticket. But also, know that I'm not forcing you." He slightly sighs. "I just wanna be able to spend time with you and do other things together besides fucking each other's brains out."

"Um," is all you can respond with. Because hell to the fuck yes you wanted this. But you weren't sure why you were hesitating? Maybe it was a big jump and you were scared of taking it? The lies you'd have to tell people about where you would be going this weekend? It was all such a mess. Such a huge, huge mess. Part of you also felt like this would be such an easy way for Grace to find out.

"You don't have to tell me your answer now but— just know it'll make me really happy to have you there with me." He looks at you softly, a small smile creeping at the corner of his lips. Perhaps, you were worth it.

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sweetestlamb · 3 years

Text

Still, I Rise

Summary: Damn teenagers and their angst.

Author's Note: Back with another chapter, if you didn’t already know it I will be revealing our mystery character from the last chapter LOL please put down the bats and weapons (jk take them out it’s hilarious!) With this chapter we are getting closer to the “climax” and I am so excited to write the fun chapters I have planned ahead, one scene that I am really looking forward to writing is the camping trip, I had so much plans and events that I wanted to see that didn’t because TVN woke up and chose basic, we hate to see it. I can’t wait to rewrite history honestly also can’t wait to just move to onto regular schmegular teen problems, I swearrrrrrr.

"Don't you dare embarrass me this time. You aren't ugly why can't you get these damn little rich brats to like you? Are you truly this useless? Don't come home if you can't make this one fall for you!"

Those had been his father's final words right before his hand split his lower lip open with a razor sharp blow that made his head whip in recoil. His father's footsteps faded as he walked away leaving him crumpled on the ground, anger and embarrassment raging in his blood. He hadn't chosen this life at all, never wanted to be a bargaining chip for that despicable man. First with Eun Dan Oh and now this new girl, Kang Sujin.

She'd initially stood him up and he had felt foolish sitting in the lavish restaurant by himself, checking his phone but no calls or messages arrived.

His father had been livid that night, more vicious than usual his stepmother's weak screams served as the soundtrack for his brutal beating. Why couldn’t she just be quiet? Did it make her feel better when she acted as if she actually gave a shit about him? His brother coming into his room after with those pathetic weeping eyes and a bandage had only made him angrier, he shoved him away slamming the door in his face, refusing his help. He didn't need anyone, nobody could save him from his horrible fate.

It hadn't taken much research to find out her school and on impulse he'd gone there without her knowledge, watching from afar at first. A tiny girl with short hair framing her face had ran giggling into a taller girl with long dark hair and a classically beautiful face, they walked side by side smiling and laughing and that's when he'd heard her call out , "Sujin we should get something to eat!"

It wasn't love at first sight or anything ridiculous and disgustingly romantic like that, but he felt a connection to the girl for some inconceivable reason as if they were kindred spirits or something, maybe it was the remnant of a bruise he saw on her wrist hidden beneath her sweater.

It seemed they had more in common then he had initially believed, it was a grim similarity.

He'd gone home feeling less burdened than before, and his father's smile had been terrifying when he'd told him that he would work hard to win the girl over, only because he knew how quickly that smile could evaporate and his father could become the monster he was accustomed to. He tried not to flinch as the older man clapped him on the shoulder, his body already in fight or flight mode.

His father had merely smirked at his apparent fear.

Bastard.

So he'd taken to following the other girl around, she was going to be his fiancé anyway so he saw nothing wrong with it. And that was how he learned about the other boy, a tall slender boy who looked like someone that would grace an idol magazine cover. They were together more often than he liked, and it seemed more than platonic if the glances and subtle touches were a sign.

He wasn't jealous per se, but this would be a roadblock in his plan that he couldn't afford. He was getting used to not being beaten.

The day he'd followed them to the hospital presented another challenge for him, he hated hospitals and what they represented with every fiber of his being. He'd spent too much time in them growing up and then again for a girl who couldn't care less about him, she was another reminder that he wasn't worthy of love. He had thought he loved her but still hurt her whenever she disobeyed him, he knew he was no better than his father.

Unexpectedly Sujin had burst through the hospital doors, surprising him and forcing him to hide lest she spot him, peeking out from his hiding place behind a tree he saw her distraught and near tears running the opposite direction. He stood in shock merely watching and waiting to see if the unknown boy would follow her, but thankfully he never came.

Pushing down his own wariness and discomfort he walked into the hospital immediately feeling a cold chill on his skin, he refused to call it trauma that made it sound like something was wrong with him. He was fine and he could do this.

Thankfully the nurses were too busy and nobody noticed him walking by and he froze when he spotted another man who was capable of making him flinch. Doctor Kang, he looked anything but approachable in his gleaming white lab coat and he remembered watching the man laugh with his father as they both sold their children without remorse. Instinctively he hid watching the man glare into a hospital room, he almost feared for whomever was the recipient of the ice cold gaze.

Minutes melted by before the doctor finally walked away, his steps clipped and echoing on the linoleum floors and he finally let out a sigh of relief when the other man disappeared around the corner.

Stealthily he rounded the corner and took the doctor's abandoned spot, peeking into the room through the small window in the door. It was that boy again, the idol wannabe but this time he wasn't alone there was a young girl with a bouquet in her arms and a older woman lovingly patting him on his cheeks.

His mother.

A loving one, at that.

His blood seared watching the domestic scene, jealousy ripping through him like a tornado. There was no way he was letting this asshole have Sujin too, he already had too much. More than he, Baekyung would ever have.

The motorcycle roars under her thighs as they whip down the road. It only serves to remind her of the first time she was on a bike with another boy, his cologne and the scent of leather infiltrating her senses and making her heart jump through hoops. This time she feels nothing but annoyance and extreme frustration, barely holding onto the stranger in front of her as she leans forward to yell above the engine, "Pullover!"

She knows he heard her based on the immediate tension in his body but he continues to ride ignoring her request demand. With a grunt she grabs onto his waist only to bodily drag them to the side not caring if they both crash at this point she cannot stand another second on this bike with him, instantly he straightens them before skidding to the side and finally pulling the brakes bringing the motorcycle to a halt, the moment the bike stops she hops off in a frenzy.

Thrusting the bottom piece of his helmet up he screams at her, "Are you insane? You could have hurt us!"

She bares her teeth at him, ready to unleash her full anger on him now without an audience.

"Who the fuck are you? And why did you come to my school?" She bellows glaring poisonously at the strange idiot who had single handedly upended her day.

Moving calmer than she's feeling, he dismounts finally pulling his helmet off and then squeezing it under his arm looking down at her.

With a condescending look he stares at her, "You know exactly who I am, don't play dumb it's beneath you."

He's right. She does know who he is although she had never seen him or known his name, she had truly thought she could ignore him and he would disappear. Just like with her father that was proving to be an erroneous dream that would never come true.

"But I'll formally introduce myself since we are going to be engaged soon after all, Baekyung. You can call me oppa though."

Engaged soon.

Her head spins from his words, she feels terror shift over her like a thick suffocating blanket.

"You don't even know me. Why would you even agree to this?" She stares at him in disbelief, at a loss to his acquiesce to their tragic fate.

The look in his eyes haunt her, it's like staring in a mirror and gazing back at the person she was months ago. Somehow without her knowledge or consent she'd changed, grown even and therefore started believing that her life was just that, hers.

"You act like we have a choice. Don't be stupid, we have to just do as we're told. It's easier this way for everyone." He repeats those words that she herself had uttered to Seojun not so long ago, a sense of deja vu washes over her.

"How is letting ourselves be used easier? Don't you have your own dreams or aspirations? Isn't there someone you actually like?" She knows the error of her argument immediately as she says it, his eyes narrow into thin enraged slits and she can practically feel the anger vibrating off him.

"Don't pretend to care about me. This is about you and your little boyfriend," he spits the word like acid and immediately she remembers those chilling words he had whispered in her eyes earlier, "Do you think he'll be safe?" That was all it had taken for her to go with him, he couldn't get hurt she wouldn't allow that to happen ever. She had no idea what those ominous words meant and how this boy could pose a threat to Seojun but she knew she had to hear him out and protect Seojun anyway she possibly could.

"He's not the only one you should be worried about." The smug bastard continues with a humorless grin on his face and suddenly the dots connect, her father outside of Ms. Han's hospital room and that calculating look on his face. Her stomach drops.

"Leave them out of it!" She screams embarrassed at the urgent plea in her voice but she can't help it, she's so scared more than she's ever been for herself.

"Well that all depends on you doesn't it? Your dear father will have no reason to do anything to them if you listen like a good daughter and date me as expected."

She stands frozen once again feeling helpless, it kills her inside all her growth slipping down the drain in a matter of seconds.

"Why are you doing this?"

He stills at her question, his cold mask dropping and leaving something numb and unreadable in its place. It feels familiar to her, she awaits his answer with bated breath.

"I want to live, even if I have no control over it. I'd rather be alive."

Thunder clashes above them, the previously sunny day shifting into a gray dark distortion, heavy storm clouds ominously loom above them and the first raindrops land perfectly on her cheeks, crying the tears that she refuses to let fall. She has no more left to cry.

Confusion is an understatement to express Su-ah's true feelings following the mysterious boy on the motorcycle, when she finally gets Sujin on the phone the other girl is quiet and mumbling, evading all her questions and as soon as she mentions Seojun, Sujin shuts down hastily ending their conversation with some nonsensical excuse.

That was not going to be the end, Sujin might want to play dumb about the true nature of their relationship but she wasn't part of the circus. She was no clown, she had eyes and it was clear that they liked each other and it was only growing the more time they spent together. She wouldn't let her best friend sabotage something that could be great for her, she deserved happiness and Seojun made her happy. So it was truly that simple.

Stomping up the slight incline to school, she huffs and puffs determined. She was going to talk some sense into the other girl.

Those thoughts come crashing all around her when she sees Sujin coming out of a car, a car that she has never seen before and her questions are answered when the boy from yesterday steps out after her. Every eye in a ten mile radius is watching them, captivated by this new school scandal. Girls already squealing and giggling, envious of Sujin and doing very little to hide their true feelings.

“Why is he with her? She isn’t even that pretty. He should be with me.”

The lies people told themselves to sleep at nights, sad.

Accidentally knocking the gossiping girl to the side with a rough shoulder check, ignoring her dramatic cry she sprints the rest of the way, once again pushing through the crowd to get to Sujin.

Immediately their eyes lock and she begs Sujin for a answers, What happened? Why are you doing this? What’s going?, she flinches at the cold emotionless stare she gets in response. She watches in dismay as the tall boy bends down as if to hug Sujin and that's when a loud grumble fills the air, she turns around to the all too familiar sight of Seojun on his motorcycle. He revs the handle bar causing the crowd to part like the Red Sea, then he rides slowly until he's right next to Sujin bike inches away from touching her.

With a practiced motion he tugs off his helmet, those sloping feline eyes already on Sujin in a hard stare.

The tension is insurmountable and cloying and Su-ah watches transfixed before Sujin breaks the impasse, tugging her bookbag over her shoulder she stomps into the school without a word to either boys. But then the interloping boy calls out, “Have a good day. Princess,” and Sujin stops immediately at the word, turning around with a ferocious look in her eyes, “Don’t call me that. My name is Kang Sujin to you. That’s all.” Su-ah sees the way that Sujin’s eyes almost subconsciously seek out a certain cat eyed boy and feels like she misses an entire conversation between the two before Sujin finally walks away.

The mysterious boy glares at her retreating back before shooting a cold glare at Seojun and then promptly hopping back into his car, the backseat as he's chauffeured away.

"Oh my god! That was so hot! Princess?”

"Who is that? Does Kang Sujin have a boyfriend? Wow, she’s mean to her boyfriend too. What a bitch.”

Why do you think Seojun looked so angry?"

"Maybe he's worried about losing his bad boy title!"

The crowd erupts around them in loud voices, all curious about what they've witnessed and already creating rumors to appease their curiosity. Suddenly a loud motorcycle screech causes them all to jump silence falling over the crowd before Seojun rides away, the tight clench in his jaw visible even from her distance.

Lunch is a step above awkward, bordering into painful. The easy conversation that used to be a staple of the table is all but decimated, instead everyone eats quietly chilled by the cold air permeating from both Seojun and Sujin. They only speak when spoken to and avoid all eye contact, especially each others. It's painful to be a witness to and she notes regretfully that neither are eating home made lunch today, opting for the school lunch instead.

Sujin had never officially told her but she knew that they were making food for each other, their smiles watching the other eat made it too obvious.

This was serious. Looking at them now they looked like complete strangers, everyone was too nervous to question the elephant in the room. Everyone except poor Chorong.

"Why is everyone was so awkward today? What did you two fight or something? Why do we all have to suffer because of your lover's quarrel? Just kiss and make up already."

The table all looked on with opened mouths except Suho and herself who both looked worried instead.

And people thought she was slow, how had they all not realized what was happening? It was clear as day.

She flinches at his well-meaning words that are evidently not well received by either teen, watching them both glare at the table unmoving and the silence drags out painfully before Seojun breaks the stalemate. Standing without preamble he glares at Chorong before placing the stare on Sujin, it does nothing to change her unaffected stare. With a loud sigh he stomps away, despite his friends dismayed shouts of his name.

She continues to eat her lunch, watching Sujin in her peripheral.

She looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulder and Su-ah for the first time in their friendship has no idea what to do.

But when they all start to funnel out of the cafeteria she follows the other girl anyway, tugging her into an enclave where they are hidden from the rest of their classmates Sujin cries out at the sudden jerk but loses her defensive stance when she realizes it’s just her.

“What?”

“What’s going on? Why are you letting that punk bring you to school and why are you and Han Seojun acting like you broke up before you even started officially dating? Sujin-ah, please tell me what’s going on.” She pleads latching onto the other girl’s arm peering up at her with puppy dog eyes, they have never failed her before.

“I can’t tell you yet, I’m sorry.”

There’s a first time for everything and she frowns at Sujin feeling like there is a mountain between them. She can’t help the hurt that she feels knowing the other girl doesn’t trust her enough to tell her what’s going on. She thought they had moved past all the secrets and hiding but obviously she was wrong.

“I really am sorry. But I will tell you everything soon enough.”

She releases Sujin’s arm, ready to walk away. She hates being in the dark. But before she can walk away, she feels Sujin hand on the bottom of her sweater tugging her backwards, she looks back with a perplexed glare.

“Do you trust me?”

She stares at Sujin and the soft tilt of her head as she asks the question, and her answer is easy, although she has no idea what’s going on and none of this makes any sense to her she doesn’t have to think about that answer.

"You shouldn't do this to him. It's too cruel." Suho expects a biting retort or even a call for him to mind this damn business, so he's shocked breathless when instead the other girl smiles at him, a tiny almost indecipherable thing that makes her lips thinner.

"You two have come a long way." Sujin responds unexpectedly shaking her head and walking over to the couch, before beckoning him over too.

He stares feeling suspicious but ultimately he follows, curiosity winning.

"I think I'm ready." Sujin expels a deep breath, twisting her hands nervously in her lap. Before he can ask her what exactly she's ready for she continues, "I want to tell your father what happened if you really think he'll help me."

He's too late to swallow the strangled gasp that escapes from his lungs and he leans back in surprise. He wants to continue his conversation about Seojun but he’s scared to do anything to make the other girl retreat or change her mind now. That conversation will have to wait for another day.

Sorry Seojun.

"Are you sure? You're really ready to do this?"

There's a long pause and he watches a myriad of emotions run across Sujin's usually expressionless face until something that looks suspiciously like hope blossoms making her glow brighter than the sun.

"Yes. I want to try living just for me."

Blinking away the moisture in his eyes, he pulls out his cellphone sending his father a message.

Please come over.

It only takes seconds but it feels like an eternity before his father replies, he smiles at the message.

On my way.

He stands up to put the kettle on the fire, he knows that tonight will be a long night and he needs something to keep his hands occupied.

When his doorbell rings he's shocked when Sujin stands up looking at him with a serene gaze, "I'll get it." He only nods at her in reply, watching as she greets his father and man recovers quickly at the unexpected visitor, smiling warmly at Sujin before pulling her into a warm embrace.

Even more surprisingly Sujin doesn't flinch, allowing herself to be wrapped up.

His father embraces him as well, patting him on the back and again on the head when they break apart. He can feel Sujin's eyes on them and he moves away guiltily. Now isn’t the time to rub his burgeoning relationship with his father in her face.

"Have a seat Dad, thank you for coming so quickly."

His father lifts an eyebrow at the sudden serious tone of his voice but he follows his directions nonetheless folding his hands on his lap and looking inquisitively between the two teenagers.

"Is there something you both want to tell me? Perhaps you two are....." His father motions vaguely between them and he stares back not comprehending until his father smiles slyly and Sujin beats him to it, protesting ardently.

"No! No, it's nothing like that. There's someone else...I mean no. That's what what we wanted to talk about."

He raises an eyebrow at Sujin's slip and his father chuckles at her stuttering and the red blaze across her cheeks.

His father waves his arms in appeal, apologetic grin on his face. "Sorry I didn't mean to embarrass you both. I just always hoped you two might one day. A father can dream."

He scoffs at his father, "Give up on that dream she's like family to me. We would never see each other that day."

Sujin nods passionately in agreement and his father shrugs easily, now looking even more curious than before.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

Sujin stills on her spot on the couch, the determination in her bones seeming to melt away with every passing minute. He fears this won't go as planned and he has no idea how to motivate her.

Then a loud vibration rumbles from the couch and it takes Sujin a moment to realize it's her phone, he watches curiously as she looks at the message and then a single tear runs down her round cheek. The determination curls back around her like armor, he watches in amazement as she sits taller turning to look at his father with newfound courage or maybe it wasn’t newfound but suddenly uncovered by whatever she had seen on her phone.

“Suho asked you for help for me. I’m really the one who needs your help.” He can hear the slight quiver and hitches in her words but she gets them all out and instantly she has his father’s undivided attention, he even turns his body to fully face the girl. Pride swells in his chest at the sight, he was worried his father would only be adamant about helping him directly as a way to get closer to him but now he can see that he was wrong about the other man. Genuine concern fills every line and wrinkle of time on his face.

“What is wrong? What do you need help with and why can’t you tell your parents?” It’s a innocent question, and logical too but he fears Sujin’s reaction, when she feels like she is backed into a corner in the past that has led to her lashing out with dagger sharp remarks, he watches with his heart lodged in his throat.

“Because they are the ones hurting me.”

His lungs deflate releasing all the air that was trapped in the sacs, she said the truth without hesitation and he turns to glance at his father watching him process the bomb that she has just dropped on him. His father opens and closes his mouth several times, before finding his voice it is but a whisper when he responds to Sujin.

“That time you needed a doctor.” The statement is directed to Suho and with a sober nod he confirms what his father already knows, with a loud sigh his father sinks into the couch quiet rage on his face. “I should have known, you always seemed so scared of him but I thought it was just his parenting style I never thought...never expected that he would....I should have done something!”

Sujin laughs, it is pained and small but he hears it and immediately turns to look at her, “He sounds just like you like father like son I guess,” Sujin directs that at him and he blushes in memory, he can’t deny the claims. Then she turns back to his father with surprisingly soft eyes, “Don’t blame yourself, just help me now if you can.”

“I will use all of my resources to make sure he spends his life in jail.”

Suho jumps in his seat looking over at Sujin, that is way more than they had ever discussed that was what he truly wanted for the monstrous man but it always seemed like too much to ask for but here was his father saying it as if it was completely plausible.

“Jail? Do you really think he can go to jail? It would be his word against mine, I never took any pictures. I was stupid.” Sujin berates herself, and before he can dismiss the self inflicted insult his father is already moving closer and putting a large hand on her trembling shoulder, only then does he realize how the girl is shaking like a new leaf.

“No, it will be my word against his. I will also get that report from Doctor Kim, that could be used as evidence. You’re just a kid and a victim, I’ll handle this you don’t need to do anything else. You’ve handled enough on your own, we got you now.” His father looks over at him as if waiting for his approval and he moves onto the couch with them both, after a moment’s pause putting his hand on Sujin’s other shoulder.

“We got you.”

Jukyeong glances over nervously at Seojun the aroma of coffee thick in the air as she sweeps up the beans she had clumsily spilled on the ground, she waited for Seojun to playfully scold her as he often did when she messed up at work but the reprimand never came and when she glanced over at him he had been staring longing at his cellphone.

Su-ah had been the first to notice how weird him and Sujin acted around each other and despite not having a lot of experience with relationships, especially those of the romantic kind she could see that they didn’t hate each other as much as Sujin tried to drive the deceptive point home. They were always teasing each other and Seojun found any excuse to be near Sujin and soon he wasn’t the only one, they just seemed to naturally gravitate to each other at times bickering so much it was like they were the only two people in the room.

But all that had come to an abrupt end with the sudden appearance of the boy on the motorcycle, the entire school was in a uproar over him, Baek Kyung, she had heard the other girls whispering his name. On paper he seemed very similar to Han Seojun, same bad boy persona and affinity for motorcycles and glares. But the biggest difference she noticed was Sujin's reaction to them both, she had heard from some gossiping girls how vehemently Sujin had declared that Baek Kyung not call her “princess”, a moniker she had commonly heard Seojun use to refer to the girl. Sujin never stopped him these days, instead rolling her eyes and speeding up to escape from him, he would chase after all calling her the sweet nickname all the way.

When Seojun would use it to refer to her in passing such as, “Are you gonna eat that princess?” Those were times that Sujin didn’t react at all, simply handing him whatever food in her container had caught his eye that she had ignored.

They were casually domestic in a way that they never seemed to realize and she couldn’t help but categorize. Seojun liked Sujin that was becoming clearer and it seemed like the feeling was mutual, even if the girl wasn’t yet ready to admit it.

Which was why this new development came as a complete shock to her, why was Sujin suddenly giving her attention to someone else?

“Did you guys have a fight? Just tell her you’re sorry.” She offers out of the blue, and Seojun turns to her with a puzzled look drying a mug with a cloth, “What are you talking about now clumsy?”

Thankfully the shop is empty, she quirks at eyebrow at him folding her arm when he continues to play dumb.

“Sujin. You guys clearly had a fight, you’re both so hot tempered. Her temper is probably worst than yours though so just apologize okay? It’s better than fighting.”

He stares at her with a blank face before turning away, rubbing firmer at the mug in his hands and she worries for its safety.

“Why should I apologize when she’s the one who’s with another guy? Don’t worry about me, I will be fine. Clearly this was one-sided. She doesn’t like me.”

She openly laughs at him now, looking at him like he has two heads. “What are you talking about? If she didn’t like you then why did she follow you to your mom’s hospital? She tried to be all sneaky but Chorong told us everything. Plus she always gets jealous when other girls give you food at school and don’t think we don’t all know that you guys make food for each other!”

He whips around looking at her with huge eyes, “Wait you all knew? So when I said that someone special made it for me? You knew?”

She smiles brightly, “Yep. It wasn’t subtle at all.”

He sighs in annoyance, turning away to hide the pink on his face.

“I’m not apologizing. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

She sighs at the boy’s words, knowing that this fight might go on longer than it needs to and she wishes she could just shake some sense into both of them, why were they choosing to suffer like this?

Damn teenagers and their angst.

Grumbling she goes to take a customer’s order, glancing over at Seojun with a final sad smile.

Hopefully they can figure this out without falling apart.

Time seems to move slower than usual today and he almost pumps a fist in triumph when he sees that it’s finally eight and they are free to leave.

“Do you want to me to walk you to the bus stop?” He offers Jukyeong out of politeness but she shakes her head no, telling him that she is going to meet with her older sister for dinner running out before him and hailing a cab, he smiles at the sight that’s one girl who loves to eat.

Turning off the lights in the shop, he turns over the “open” sign and locks the door behind him. The cool spring night air brushes against his cheeks and he makes his way to his motorcycle, mounting in one motion and sighing as it purrs to life before he speeds off his destination already in mind. He bobs and weaves through traffic, smirking at idiot drivers who blare their horns at him when he inches too close to their precious car but even they are not enough to rain on his parade.

When he finally arrives, he bounces off the bike throwing the helmet onto the handlebar carelessly before bounding over to the figure he sees waiting.

He can’t help the smile that tugs against his lips, ultimately setting it free as the figure turns around at the sound of his boot stomping on the ground.

“Did you wait long?” He asks moving closer until he can feel the heat wafting off the body in front of him.

“No, I only just got here too. Why are you smiling like that? You look deranged.”

He smiles wider, feeling mischievous after what a certain klutz had revealed to him with a smirk he leans closer to her, grinning harder when she leans back looking at him with a confused glare.

“I heard from a certain birdie that you followed me to the hospital and that you get jealous when other girls give me food. Is that true princess?”

Sujin growls at him, shoving his shoulder hard before stomping away to the park bench. He eagerly follows after her, throwing his arm over her shoulder smiling at her wearing yet another one of his sweaters, this time a black one that reaches the bottom of her knees and completely hides whatever she is wearing underneath. She looks equally sexy as adorable and it makes his blood boil in a way he has been trying harder and harder to suppress around her.

“I knew you would try to milk the situation. This isn’t why I told you everything.”

He smiles recalling what Sujin is referring to.

Just a day go.....

He stares angrily at his phone in utter disbelief that she would have the gall to call him after what had just happened. She had left on another boy’s motorcycle even though he had asked her not to, he didn’t know what was going on but seeing her leave like that, he wished he knew how to turn off all his feelings for her. No other human should have this kind of power or control over him but here he was ready to burst because she had picked someone else over him.

“What do you want?” He barks out answering the call with a hard press of his finger and immediately he starts to lose some of his fire when he hears her soft staggered breaths on the other line.

“Seojun, can you meet me somewhere?”

He wants to say no, to bitterly hang up on her and tell her that he has someone new too but that would be a lie and he desperately wants to see her and hold her and find out why she decided to rip his heart out and stomp on it.

Feeling pathethic he answers her with a sigh, “Where are you?”

Songnisan park. It’s not too far from their school and he hangs up without answering hopping on his bike and riding to her. Maybe it’s stupid but he can’t turn his back on her just yet, he still wants to hear her out even if she’s going to break his heart.

By the time he reaches the park it’s raining, pouring down in sheets despite the warm weather and he immediately sees Sujin sitting under the downpour while other park goers are running and using picnic blankets as makeshift umbrellas.

The scenes feels all too familiar and he wonders if this will be their end? Would life be that poetic to have them end the same way they became?

Sighing he tugs his sweater off, walking quickly to close the gap between them before sitting beside her and thrusting his sweater above both their heads, protecting them from the rain.

She turns to him with a gasp and he realizes how closely they are sitting beside each other, he can feel her breath when she exhales and it washes over in an intoxicating breeze. He has to forcibly put some distance between them before he does something that he knows he shouldn’t, especially not now.

“My father knows about us. He saw me at the hospital and I’m scared he saw your mother and sister too. I don’t think I should visit anymore.”

He pauses to process her words and he feels his chest tighten with anger at the mention of that sub-human, if he ever tried to harm a hair on his family’s head that would be the last thing he ever did. But once the rage passes by he thinks of the rest of Sujin’s sentence, my father knows about us.

They were an us.

There was an us for people to know about?

“Us?” He replies stupidly, unable to stop his heart from fluttering.

With a sound of exasperation she looks over at him, “How is that the most important thing that I said?” The pretty blush on her face does not go unnoticed but he responds to her statement staying focused, “My mom was discharged today. They said it was just a scare and nothing serious. He can’t do anything to us, if he tries I’ll kill him.”

He means it, every single word falling from his lips.

He’s not prepared for Sujin to sob and drop her head onto his shoulder, he drops their sweater umbrella at the sudden pleasant weight feeling the rain drench his hair and shirt instantly.

“I’m so happy to hear that. I was so worried about all of you.”

A bubble of happiness explodes in his chest and he’s so close to just letting go of all his anger and holding her, seeing her so worried about his family is almost enough to undo him.

But, he can’t forget the image of her riding off with someone else. His heart will never forget that ache, that indescribable pain.

“So you care about me now? Is that why you left me like that today? Because you care so much?”

He is being petty, he knows that but he can’t stop the jealousy that is fueling him right now. His green eyed monster is raring its ugly head.

“That’s the guy you told me to stand up, remember? That’s the guy my father is trying to sell me to. He’s been following us and he knew about you, he threatened you. I did what I had to, I have to do this until I speak to Suho’s father. I think.....No. I’m ready now. I’m going to tell him everything and ask for his help.”

His heart is pounding erratically in his chest, he can barely hear the rain over the loud thumping of the organ and he can’t believe he ever doubted her, feels guilt twist around him but he pushes that aside to take in everything she has confessed to him, without saying the words she has all but confirmed everything Jukyeong carelessly exposed to him in the coffee shop, she cares about him too enough to want to protect him at any cost. But most importantly she was starting to care about herself, she no longer saw her life as expendable and was willing to ask for help even at the expense of revealing her darkest secret and getting her hopes up.

Fuck she was the bravest person he knew.

Without thinking he tugs her into his arms, wrapping her in a tight hug before he realizes what he’s doing but by the time he starts to move back she’s already hugging him back, her arms tight around his shoulder and her head in the dip of his neck and it’s too perfect to stop now. Absently he strokes her wet silky smooth hair and when they finally draw apart, the barest amount of space between them he takes another risk, glancing at her eyes pleading and then smiling when she nods, giving him permission even without knowing what he plans to do, simply trusting him, he leans forward and plants a soft butterfly kiss on her forehead, she hisses in response but instead of moving away she latches on to him tighter.

“I’m so proud of you baby.” He kisses her again, firmer this time putting all the love and pride he feels for her in that gentle kiss to her brow.

He expects a lot of things in response to his bold move and the new nickname, a punch, a kick, her loud denial and rejection, he is emotionally prepared for any and all of those reactions, but instead she steals his breath away when she smiles up at him, looking into his eyes and he realizes that she’s looking for permission too and he nods, nervous and anxious to see what she will do.

With a moment’s hesitation she tugs him down and he goes easily, his heart in his chest and he closes his eyes as her face draws closer to him, his heart is pattering now a crazy thundering mess filled to the brim with anticipation.

He feels her plush lips against his cheek, the rain making the skin slick and he hums in encouragement as the kiss lingers before he opens his eyes and immediately they are lost in each other’s eyes and he can feel their faces moving closer as if opposite ends of a magnet and he waits for her to stop them, to push him away and run off but she is just as lost as him, moving closer too and when only centimeters separate their lips, a loud crash of thunder booms high above their heads making them jump apart, both flying to opposite ends of the bench.

“We should...um get out of this rain before we catch a cold.”

The ride home is awkward and he can barely breathe with how tightly she’s holding his waist but he smiles through the rain, taking care to move carefully on the wet streets not wanting to hurt Sujin and then they are in front of Suho’s apartment, much too fast to his disappointment.

They both sit unmoving for a few seconds before Sujin releases his waist from her death grip and gets off the bike.

“Let’s talk over there for a minute.” He states dismounting too and walking over to the scaffold so they can escape the torrential rain for a moment at least.

They stand awkwardly shivering from the cold in their wet clothes, it’s obvious that Sujin is embarrassed about what happened- their kisses-but he can barely contain his joy, if he were alone right now he would be doing backflips.

This day as made a complete 180 turn for the better.

“I have to pretend to date him. We already agreed to come to school tomorrow. He agreed to stop following me if I let him take me to school and go on dates. He has to put on a show for his father too.” She says talking so fast that the words slur together and he wonders absently if she’s nervous? And if so, why? Was she nervous about his reaction?

He nods in understanding, “Okay. I forgot to say it earlier, but thank you for telling me and not leaving me in the dark. I appreciate it.”

That’s the logical part of his response, he knows what it took for Sujin to involve him in her plan and how huge it is that she hadn’t wanted him to misunderstand her feelings and motives. But she’s still the girl that he likes and he can’t help the illogical things that flood his mind too.

“Not on his motorcycle though.”

She looks at him with a deep searching stare and he simply stares back, nonplussed. He knows what he sounds like, a bargaining jealous boyfriend. That’s exactly what he wants to be so he sees no reason to attempt to explain himself, whatever she’s thinking is true and he isn’t the least bit ashamed to admit it. At his unabashed stare she crumples looking away with a barely hidden smile, “Okay. Not on his bike. Even though I never told you that you were allowed to have conditions, this isn’t a negotiation.” She complains but the sting is gone because she has already agreed to his request, he flashes a smile at her.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow. I will have to act jealous, that shouldn’t be too hard.” He winks at her and this time she does try to punch him, he barely dodges her fist.

Such a violent little thing.

“I never said you had to do anything.”

He shrugs, “It makes sense. I like you so it would only make sense that I would be jealous if I thought you were dating someone else, plus he will probably want to see that too.”

She’s as red as a strawberry as she sprints away from him without another word, waving at him over her shoulder.

He smiles all the way home, before falling into bed after a much needed warm shower, his toes and fingers were like ice chips when he finally got home.

Remembering one more thing, he grabs his phone shooting a quick text message.

Don’t let him call you nicknames. Only Sujin.

Reading it back he determines that the message is a bit too...commanding and if he wants to keep a certain boot out of his ass he better fix it so he swiftly adds:

Please.

Present time....

“I didn't do anything. She just suddenly started telling me how much you adore me and how you can’t live without me and that I should just forgive you and take you back.” He sniffles dramatically watching amused as Sujin rolls her eyes, before angrily pulling out her phone, he laughs suddenly worried for Jukyeong so he snatches the object from her hands, much to her chagrin.

“I might have exaggerated about what she said, a teeny tiny bit.” He demonstrates the small amount with his fingers and she glares at him biting out, “Liar,” before snatching back her phone and stuffing it in her pockets with a grumble.

Getting serious he turns to look at her with anticipation, “How did it go? Were you able to tell him everything?” She is staring out at the horizon, despite him boring a hole in the side of her head begging for eye contact.

“I hesitated. I lost my confidence.”

He can hear the defeat in her voice and without a pause he opens his mouth to comfort her and tell her how strong she is and explain why this is just a minor setback but next time they can go together and if she needs him to he will hold her hand the entire time and give her every last drop of his support and--

“But then I got a message and it gave me courage. So I told him everything and he agreed to help me. He wants to send my dad to jail, not just emancipate me.”

She did it.

She really did it.

He smiles at her wider than the ocean.

“You did it, Sujin.”

She stares at him in palpable shock, he immediately knows why it’s not often he uses her name and he expects her to be happy that he isn’t calling her the nickname she is always dismissing, she’s always so adamant that she is not a princess much less his princess.

“Don’t call me that.” She says finally turning to meet his eyes and he stares back confused because he had only said her name, why was that a problem? Wasn’t that what she had been trying to get him to call her since the first time he dubbed her princess?

“What do you want me to call you then?”

He is truly asking but the look she gives him makes him feel like the dunce in the corner of the room and realization unfurls in his body like a slow moving tsunami and he smiles unbridled at the epiphany.

He hasn’t wanted to get his hopes up by making assumptions about what this is but maybe it’s time that he have some confidence now, he was someone important to her. She had already proved that in so many ways these past days.

Taking her hand in his, he smiles brightly at her.

It’s the first time that he has held her hand, and he can feel the damaged skin in his own smoother hand. His heart aches for only a moment, her hands are just like her they might look bruised and pitiful at first glance but beneath the broken surface lurked unimaginable strength and power and just like the rest of her, they were imperfectly perfect. He never wanted to hold another hand, this was the only one he needed.

“Good job, you did it Princess.”

She smiles up at him, looking gorgeous-heart stoppingly so-and he can’t help the way his chest constricts as if he didn’t know it already he knows it now unequivocally .

He, Han Seojun belongs to Kang Sujin.

#true beauty #bmtl #han seojun #kang sujin #extraordinary you crossover #baekyung #lots of povs #another rollercoaster chapter #junjin #true beauty fix it #true beauty kdrama #I had mini heart attacks writing this

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nikki-romero · 3 years

Text

The Wild Flower (Tomoki Matsuba x OC) Prologue

It was finally the long-awaited moving day. I was moving into an apartment by myself. My dad helped me get the perfect apartment. The negotiations had gone smoothly and it was time to move in. I decided to walk to the new apartment to learn the new neighbourhood better.

My cousin and I had stopped and checked the map we had.

"Hmm, it looks like it's this way." My cousin, Ayame, pointed ahead of us. The pedestrian light turned green. "Come on!" She rushed across the street. With how excited she was getting, you'd think she was the one starting a new chapter of her life, so to speak.

"Wha-! Ayame!" I called after her. I quickly shoved the map into my bag before running after her. She turned around to wait for me, and her eyes widened.

"Hotaru! Watch out!!"

I looked to the side and saw a white limo heading towards me. I gasped but managed to leap out of the way before it could hit me, right into a puddle of ice-cold water.

"Hotaru! Are you alright?!" Ayame came running up to me, panicked.

"Peachy." I looked at my soaked clothing in utter dismay. Just as I was about to get up from the ground, a gentlemanly man dressed in black stepped out of the limo. A butler? I stared dubiously at him as he reached out his hand.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm great," I replied sarcastically. I had the right of way. I should not have had to escape death so narrowly. And I wasn't about to take his hand either. I shot him a nasty glare as I got up by myself.

"Your clothing... This is my fault. Allow me to make it up to you."

"What the hell was that? Don't you know how to read a road sign? Jesus Christ, you could have killed me!" I scolded him.

"You're right, I am so sorry." He bowed to me. "I'll get you a change of clothes," the man said gently.

"I don't need it," I snapped.

"Please, I insist. I can't leave a beautiful young girl looking like this. For one thing, my employer would be angry with me."

"Hotaru," Ayame whispered, "Maybe you should accept his offer. He looks like he feels really bad."

"You're too nice," I whispered back before turning back towards the butler. "Fine, whatever."

He smiled as he opened the door of the spacious limo and ushered us inside.

"My apologies. I should have stated earlier. My name is Aoi Shirafuji. I'm a butler to the Ichijo family," the butler introduced himself.

I stilled. "Ichijo?" I repeated.

"Oh, you know Mr Ichijo?" Aoi asked, looking somewhat concerned.

"No, I've just heard a lot about the Ichijo Group," I managed to force out. "The amusement parks the company has built is really quite impressive." I forced a smile. Somehow I felt like I just stepped on a landmine.

We arrived at a large and impressive mansion and Aoi took me to a room with a large full-length mirror and closets full of a wide range of clothing. "This way. Choose whichever you like."

The clothes were both my style and my size. It sent unpleasant shivers down my spine; I felt sick.

"Does a girl our age live here?" Ayame mused. I didn't answer. "Hotaru? Hey, are you okay? You seem a little tense." She furrowed her brow.

"Mm," I choked out. I didn't feel particularly eager to talk about it. "I'm... going to get dressed. Would you mind waiting outside?"

"Uh, yes, sure." Ayame knew me too well. She knew I wasn't being myself.

I took a shaky breath. Then another. Another. I took several deep breaths until I felt slightly calmer. I really didn't want to be here. Feeling like I wouldn't explode, I grabbed the first dress I saw off its hanger, not bothering to even look at it.

There was a knock on the door as I finished getting dressed.

"Yes?" I replied though I hadn't finished fastening the hook of the dress yet. It wasn't Aoi who entered the room.

"I'm Tomoki Matsuba. I'm one of the butlers here. I'm here to pick up the garments that require cleaning," the butler said. Bow-tied, black-suited and bespectacled, he exuded a rigidness befitting of a butler.

"Right. My cousin; did she...?"

"She went ahead to the garden," Tomoki responded.

"Oh." I bit my lip. Now what? I couldn't reach the clip on the back of my dress. I took yet another deep breath." Would you mind helping me fasten the hook on my dress? I can't quite reach it," I said.

"Please turn around." I did as he said and turned my back to him. He swiftly fastened the hook at the back of the dress before speaking again. "I'm going to do your laundry. Would you like some tea while you wait?"

"That would be lovely, thank you," I answered.

"This way." I followed Tomoki to the garden where Ayame was already waiting for me. She was sitting at a table, drinking from an elegant tea set.

"Kyo Aizawa. I'm a butler. Would you like anything else to drink?" Yet another butler introduced himself to me.

"The tea will be just fine, thank you," I replied formally as I sat down. Kyo promptly poured tea into the beautiful cup. "Thank you," I smiled up at Kyo once he was done.

"It's an original black tea blend using roses from this garden," he informed me.

"It smells wonderful."

"I recommend first tasting it black." A delicate pattern covered the teacup.

"This is Queen Rose, is it not?" I inquired, inspecting the cup. It suited the garden, but I was too on edge to enjoy it. Kyo didn't look the least bit surprised that I knew that.

"That's correct. It was produced in the early 18th century at the Raines factory." I nodded as I delicately held the cup and took a sip.

"How do you even know that stuff?" Ayame asked me. My only response was a small smile. Ayame cocked an eyebrow at me, inspecting my lips, and then my eyes. She gently placed the cup in its saucer and leaned over the table. "Hotaru?" she lowered her voice so only I can hear.

I shook my head. "Don't."

Ayame frowned but left it at that.

"It's delicious," I said after having tasted the tea, but the truth was I could barely taste anything. Silence fell upon the garden. Kyo didn't seem to be the talkative type as he watched over us. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed another butler approaching, a charming smile on his face. This family certainly had a lot of butlers...

"What's the matter? You look so serious," he commented.

"I always look like this," I replied calmly.

"Itsuka Matsuba at your service. You met Tomoki earlier. Last name's the same," he said cheerfully.

"Brothers, I take it?"

"That's right. Now, how would you two like some freshly baked scones?"

"Scones sound nice, don't you think so, Hotaru?" she asked, a little too cheerfully.

"Thank you," I replied. We were stuck here until my clothes got cleaned so we might as well.

"The strawberry jam is made with organic strawberries from our farm, and the clotted cream from milk from our cows." Was that supposed to impress me? Without responding, I cut open the scone and took a small bite.

"It's very delicious," I said before taking another bite. After eating, I elegantly wiped my mouth with a napkin and glanced at my surroundings. The garden was well taken care of. It was filled with gorgeous flowers and the landscape was really quite breathtaking. "You have a lot of pink flowers and roses here," I noted.

"We're growing them for a celebration," Itsuki replied.

"A celebration?"

"It will be our employer's birthday in a month. And his daughter will be introduced to society on the same day," he explained. It took everything I had not to tremble. Not to react in any negative way. I swallowed.

"Is that so? I'm sure she must be wonderful," I said, keeping the bite I was feeling out of my voice.

"She is. A bit of a diamond in the rough. But that'll make training her all the more worth it." I had to keep myself from barking a laugh, and almost faltered.

"Oh? In my experience, I've found that the rough diamonds are far more valuable than refined ones." I flashed him one of my most dazzling smiles. His eyes widened.

"Oh, how do you figure?" he asked.

"I apologise for not being able to put this more delicately, but in this society, I find these 'refined'," I air quoted the word, "diamonds to be little more than sheep." Itsuki didn't hide his shock at my words, and I smirked ever so slightly. "Of course, I don't blame them. They were raised that way. You know, to follow someone else's orders; someone else's plan for their lives. It's been imprinted on them since the moment they were born and it's all they know. Whereas a diamond in the rough, as you put it, is quite rare in high society, but personally, I find it invigorating. It's like a breath of fresh air in an otherwise suffocating world to meet someone who is willing to against the status quo to do what they believe in. You could even say it's like defying gravity, which, in and of itself is already a very impressive feat." I chuckled. "But, what do I know? I'm just a teenager." I didn't fail to notice Ayame's dubious expression directed at me.

Yet another butler walked up to us, holding my freshly cleaned clothes.

"Sorry I kept you waiting," he said. I had to admit, I was taken aback by how attractive he was. But he had a certain vibe that reminded me of my brother, Eisuke, and that usually only spelt bad things. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Yuma Akagi, and I'm the Ichijo family's head butler." Yuma bowed to me.

I smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"I would like to apologize for the actions of one of our butlers today," Yuma said.

The corner of my mouth twitched. "I appreciate it. I'm just glad no one was hurt," I added. Yuma nodded.

"Meeting like this was, I think, fate. I hope... that you and I will meet again somewhere." I forced a chuckle as I looked away. If we did, I'd choke all of them. Yuma smiled significantly as he took my hand, then he gently kissed the back of it. The gesture was familiar, but it never got any easier to bear. "You were in the midst of moving. I'll have the limousine take you," he said.

"Thank you," I replied. I quietly watched Yuma give instructions to the other butlers.

After changing my clothes, Ayame and I got into the limo together with Yuma.

Ayame gave me another worried look as she was dropped off. "Hey, um, call me. Okay?"

"Sure." I nodded.

"Again, I am very sorry about today," Yuma said. It seemed like his attention was focused solely on me.

"It's alright."

"How did you find the house?"

"It was gorgeous. Absolutely breath-taking," I replied.

Yuma smiled, brimming with elegance and grace, but I could tell he wasn't actually buying a word I said.

We weren't far from the new apartment when the limousine came to a sudden stop.

"Are you alright?" Yuma's arms were around me, steadying me after the abrupt braking. I felt myself stiffen; my blood ran cold. In a panic, I pushed away from him. "Miss?"

"Sorry, I just don't handle physical contact very well." I shifted uncomfortably.

"I... apologize," Yuma said as he moved away from me. I shook my head.

"It's fine. But is there a problem?" I asked, looking away from him and out the window in an attempt to get rid of the tension in the atmosphere.

"It appears the road narrows up ahead. The car can't continue. This is as far as we can take you," Yuma explained.

"Here is fine. Thanks for bringing me this far."

"Before you go, might I ask how you found our service?" Yuma asked. An odd thing for a butler to ask.

"Oh, your service was superb." I got a sudden idea. "You're definitely on Geo's level."

"Geo?" Yuma asked. The corner of my lips tugged upwards. I got him. Hook, line, and sinker.

"My dad's butler," I replied innocently.

"Your... Dad?"

"Oh! I just realised I never introduced myself. Apologies. I'm just so used to people knowing I am. I'm Hotaru Ichinomiya."

"A pleasure, Miss Ichinomiya." Yuma smiled, but it was forced.

"I know this is probably common knowledge, but my dad, Akira, adopted both me and my brother, Eisuke. You see, my biological father abandoned me and my mother a long time ago."

Yuma's façade almost faltered, and I saw that. I was right; he knew!

"Abandoned?" Yuma asked, almost hesitantly.

"Yep. He didn't even show up for my mother's funeral after she died."

Yuma looked away. "I'm sorry to hear that. Perhaps there was a reason he couldn't take care of you?"

I leaned back in my seat. "I don't care."

"You... Don't care?" God, how many more times was he going to feel inclined to make me repeat what I said?

"I don't. No excuse he could have would ever be good enough."

"I'm sure he must love you." I could tell Yuma was choosing his words very carefully without divulging too much information.

"You can't love someone you don't know. I've never even met him. Or talked to him. You see, the way I see it, blood doesn't mean anything. Genetic doesn't mean anything. I'll tell you what does mean something though: When I needed a dad, Akira was there. Akira is my dad. And my so-called father was little more than a sperm donor." Yuma almost choked on his words, and I chuckled. "Not the most delicate choice of words, but it's the truth. The thing is, you don't get to be a dad just because you share DNA. He wasn't there when I needed him the most, and he has no right to take up that role now." Yuma was speechless. "But I'm sorry to dump all of that on you like that. That was really silly and unfair of me. Please, forget I said anything." I made a show of giving a nervous laugh.

"Not at all." Yuma knew I was full of it. And I knew he knew that, but he didn't say anything more.

"Well, it's getting dark. I really should be going."

"Of course." He got out of the car before I did and held the door open for me. I bowed politely to him and turned to leave. I was happy to see the moving truck in front of the building when I finally got there.

"Excuse me. I'm sorry I'm so late. I'm Hotaru Ichinomiya."

"We've brought everything inside. Have a great day, Miss." With that, the movers left. I stood still for a moment and frowned. They brought everything inside? I didn't have to guess how they did that. I had a really bad feeling about this. I just hoped to god I was wrong. I inserted my key and unlocked the door.

"Welcome home, Miss Ichinomiya."

I wasn't wrong...

I was unable to hide my disdain as the butlers bowed their heads gracefully. I slammed the door shut behind me. The composure I put so much effort into keeping all day crumbled in an instant. I stared at them, not saying anything.

"We're here to serve you. Starting today." Aoi said. The butlers brought me slippers. I glared at the slippers, then at them, and crossed my arms.

"Well. I wish I could say I'm surprised," I snapped scornfully. I slipped my shoes off, not bothering with the slippers as I walked into the living room and sat down on my sofa. Resting my elbow on the armrest, I pressed my forefinger against my temple and my thumb beneath my chin. "Well go ahead. Give me the whole speech about why you're here."

Itsuki cleared his throat, uncomfortable. "Do you remember when I mentioned our employer's daughter?" he asked.

"Uh-huh."

"That girl..." Itsuki started, only to have his sentence finished by Tomoki.

"... is you." I didn't respond. "But... you already knew that."

"And that surprises you, how? I have the power, money and resources to do just about anything. You really think I'd go through life being oblivious and naïve without looking into who my father is?"

"You're going to be a sophisticated woman by the time of our employer's birthday," Kyo said. Sophisticated. I could socialise quite well in and I knew how to conduct myself, but there were many in high society who would argue that I wasn't quite "sophisticated" or "traditional" enough. Men in high society liked controlling everything, and I had a reputation for going against the tide. But I've never been bothered by that before and I wasn't about to start now.

"Right. Your employer, Kazuma Ichijo. My so-called father."

"Yes." Aoi smiled. I bet women were putty in his hands with that smile. The stupid ones anyway.

I didn't say anything, and the tension in the air grew ever more palpable. I didn't take my eyes off the butlers either.

As the glaring continued, the front door opened and Mr Head Butler walked in.

"Why, hello there, Miss Ichinomiya," Yuma grinned as he unceremoniously locked the door.

"Oh, great. The cavalry's here," I said sarcastically.

"Yuma, she knows," Aoi said.

Yuma grinned. It was a sinister grin; the same one Eisuke got whenever he was plotting something. "I figured as much. Everything you said in the limo... You knew all along who Mr Ichijo is."

"What did she say in the limo?" Itsuki asked, curiously.

I snorted. "Believe me, if I'd known you were Ichijo butlers before I got in that limo, I never would have accepted your half-assed offer. But then again, something tells me whether I accepted it or not, we'd still all be here right now."

"Enough. I cannot allow and Ichijo to utter such vulgar words," Tomoki said with a scowl.

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Oh yes? Try and stop me, four-eyes."

His scowl turned into an expression of both shock and offence.

"Well as fun as this has been, everybody out. Before I report you for break in and entering."

"I didn't expect you'd treat us like crooks. Not when you're the one violating your lease." Yuma held out a piece of paper.

I snatched the paper from his hand and skimmed through the contract until my eyes stopped at a particular 'special feature'. "Personal butler?" I read out loud. And right at the bottom was Akira's signature. My dad wasn't stupid. No way would he have signed this without checking every detail and have the family lawyer go over it for emphasis. Which could only mean he knew about this and didn't tell me.

"We had you come to the house to make the idea more palatable," Aoi said.

"Yes, yes. You set me up. I figured that out hours ago." I got up. "I don't believe this," I mumbled as I grabbed my phone and went into my room. I slammed the door shut and furiously dialled my dad's number.

"Yes?" He didn't look at the caller ID before answering.

"Hi, Dad. It's me," I said in a voice so sweet it sounded sickening even to me.

"Hotaru! I was going to call you in the morning. Have you settled in?" he asked.

"Yes, about that... Did the lease for my new apartment perhaps come with a tiny detail you forgot to mention?" I spoke through clenched teeth.

"The lease?" Akira remained silent for a few moments as he thought. "Oh! You must be talking about the butler service. It was a special they had just for your apartment. I figured having a butler would make your life a little easier."

My eyebrow twitched as I closed my eyes in exasperation. "So you did know about it."

"Of course. You think I'd sign something like that without thoroughly checking every word on it?"

"And you didn't think to warn me about it?" I breathed.

Akira paused. "You're upset..."

"Damn right I'm upset! Dad, you've been duped!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Those butlers! I wouldn't be surprised if they disguised themselves as real estate agents. They probably played on your worry as my dad, too."

"Hotaru, you're not making any sense."

"They're Ichijo butlers! They orchestrated this whole thing! The apartment, the lease, the butler service. All of it! All so they could, and I quote, 'turn me into a sophisticated woman' for his birthday party."

I heard Akira breathe hard over the receiver in an attempt to maintain his composure. "I'm calling Yuzuru."

"What's he going to do? They're practically untouchable, and not because they work for Ichijo. They planned everything to the finest detail and slipped through all the right loopholes. Everything on the lease is legal and you knew about the butler service when you signed it, so we can't even sue them for not explaining certain details on the contract. There's nothing we can do."

Akira paused. "You're right. But there's nothing on the lease about you following their rules. No conditions about you taking any kind of lessons from them. I doubt I need to tell you this, but you don't dance to the sound of their pipes. You dance to yours."

I smirked, relaxing a bit. "You know it, Daddy."

"Good. I'll call you tomorrow. Love you." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Love you, too."

I took a deep breath before opening my door. Of course they were still there, and they likely heard every word I said to my dad, too. I took one annoyed look at them and moved to the kitchen.

"All sorted out?" Yuma asked sarcastically as he followed me into the kitchen.

"Why bother asking when you heard my entire conversation," I retorted.

There was a moment of silence before Yuma doubled over with laughter.

"I think this will be very interesting indeed," he said as he looked at me with amusement.

I didn't bother responding as I put the kettle on; nothing good could possibly come from interacting with him. I turned around and leaned against the kitchen counter, crossing my arms over my chest.

Yuma's sinister smile returned. I raised my eyebrows in a motion for him to get to the point.

"All you have to do is accept our training on behalf of our dear employer. It's only a month," Itsuki said.

My eyes flitted to him. "No," I said flatly before turning my back to them.

"You had etiquette lessons, but we need to make doubly sure you didn't miss anything. Not to mention kick that flighty nature of yours. Otherwise, you'd just be an embarrassment," Yuma replied with a broad smile.

I barked a laugh. "Wow. That is just hilarious." I turned back to him. "I already told you how I feel about him. And I know you know I meant every word. But just in case you're still processing, allow me to break it down for you. I can barely stomach the thought of breathing the same air as your oh-so-wonderful employer. He can go fuck himself for all I care. And you would be damn lucky if I decided not to embarrass him and his company on purpose, which, by the way, I'm still undecided on." Tomoki opened his mouth to say something. I pointed my finger at him without looking at him. "You say one word about my language, I swear to god I will punch you."

Yuma sighed, exasperated. "How you feel about him doesn't matter. We made a promise to him and we intend to keep it."

I snorted. "Good luck with that." I turned back to the now boiled kettle and prepared some camomile tea. God knows I needed it.

"Alright, it's time you choose," Yuma said. I could hear the amused smirk in his voice.

"Oh, I get a choice, do I?" I retorted.

"Who would you like to be your butler?" Aoi asked.

Next Chapter

#tomoki #tomokimatsuba #butleruntilmidnight #voltageinc #otome #visualnovel #romance #crossover #ichinomiya

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puresephone · 5 years

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alright motherlovers i’m going to be intuiting this here tarot spread. i asked some of my beautiful decks for the overall message and energy for today, 11/11! today is a very special and magickal day especially in regards to twin flames and twin flame energy.

anywho lets get into the reading. okay so this is my first ever reading so it might be sloppy but we’re just gonna roll with it bless

so the first card we have is transformation (aka the death card) which is ruled by scorpio. it’s all about change and letting go of the past to embrace renewal or new beginnings. let go of unhealthy attachments, fears, and grudges that may be holding you back from this opportunity for another chance or a more fulfilled life.

clarified by the eight of wands in reverse, the message i’m getting is to NOT RESIST THIS CHANGE. go with the flow, but don’t rush blindly into situations today ill-prepared and don’t try to run from or delay these changes. full moon in taurus is tomorrow which reminds us to let go of old energies that no longer serve us, while remembering change is the only constant in life.

ask yourself (from the guidebook): are there loose ends that need to be tied up? are there people in my life i need to express myself to? what needs to be completed so i can have a fresh start?

then we have power (aka strength, ruled by leo) in the reverse, which for this deck, just means to pay extra attention to it.

this card is calling you to remember you have all the inner strength and willpower you need to deal with these changes ahead of you, if you are someone who finds change hard to manage.

remember to approach every situation from a place of love. set aside the time to resolve issues and speak from a place of compassion. this mercury retrograde in scorpio, especially, it can be easy to get caught up in black or white thinking or feeling slighted. give other people the benefit of the doubt and remember mistakes happen in order to be learned from. (from the guidebook), ask yourself: what am i supposed to be learning here and how can i make this situation better?

clarified by the four of cups in reverse, what i get from this is a few different interpretations. i feel someone who has been withdrawn from the world, caught up in introspection or perhaps avoiding dealing with reality or their problems. i feel someone who isn’t being honest about how their true feelings and instead, choosing to isolate themselves from someone or people who love them. i feel someone who needs to look inside themselves and meditate and be honest with themselves. don’t ignore synchronicities.

ultimately though, when four of cups comes up reversed, i see the end of a period of stagnation and apathy. because this is a clarifier of the strength card, perhaps we feel reinvigorated remembering our true power as spiritual beings. we can now seize opportunities and manifest our dreams into reality (full moon in taurus tomorrow, nov 12, is PERFECT for that)

then we have the the third card which is the throat chakra. the chakras are energy centres of the human body and when the throat chakra comes up: COMMUNICATE! speak your truth and be honest. speak from a place of love. know that what you think and say matters. express yourself, the throat chakra is also about creativity. do something artsy today, maybe something involving words. journal or write a poem. sing or listen to music. do some positive self affirmations! express gratitude!

clarifying the throat chakra, we have the three of wands. this is a card all about new opportunities and moving forward. this is a card that represents fresh starts and to embrace change. three is represented by the empress, a number and card of creation. your planning and hard work is paying off, but also remember to dream beyond limits and be flexible and and keep an open mind!

the three of wands also reminds us that the journey has only just begun. there’s still time to turn back, but not for long. any time i see this card, i think of that scene from lord of the rings: fellowship of the ring when sam says:

Sam:

This is it.

Frodo:

What?

Sam:

If I take one more step, I'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.

Frodo:

Come on, Sam. Remember what Bilbo used to say: "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to."

speak your truth and be honest with yourself. you’ll never know how far it’ll get you or what opportunities could lie ahead

then we have the card emotional withdrawal in reverse. the border is green, signifying a connection to the heart chakra. this card is represented by the number 8, same as the strength card: passion, control and power. we need to use our courage and strength to continue our journey into this new beginning or undiscovered territory.

what i’m getting from this card is to be aware of emotional withdrawal. it’s good to take time for yourself as seen by the reversed four of cups, but don’t isolate yourself from the people who love you. these cards are actually similar to one another in my opinion. it’s okay to meditate on a situation and have alone time but as we already know, the only constant in life is change. you can’t emotionally withdraw and isolate forever.

with the number 8 here, it also means “infinity” so maybe you’ve felt stuck or like you don’t know how to get out of this withdrawed state. remember your inner power and to speak your truth and from a place of love (not fear) and everything else will follow. be in right alignment with yourself first.

clarifying emotional withdrawal, we have the five of swords. fives in numerology represent conflict. the five of swords comes up when there’s been a disagreement, falling out or conflict of some sort and you’re walking away with a sense of sadness or loss. feeling upset and resentful is also common with this card. you can feel like you’ve lost trust, dignity, respect, or company. the advice here is to PICK YOUR BATTLES

five of swords can also point out you may feel in competition. it’s not appropriate to win at any cost. someone else’s success does not equal your failure and certainly don’t try to bring other people down.

when the five of swords comes up in a reading it could be an invitation to apologise. brooding or trying to be right at all costs just makes relationships and situations all the more complicated.

because the five of swords is clarifying the reversed emotional withdrawal card, i’m sensing it’s an optimal time to properly apologise to people who you may have hurt or perhaps today you will be approached by someone who has hurt you (it is mercury retrograde after all). come out of your cocoon with emotional maturity and show you’re someone with integrity. learn from your mistakes and move beyond past mistakes and conflict into something new and brighter.

(gdi tumblr didn’t save my draft so i need to rewrite this part) then we have the fertility card (the empress) in reverse. again this deck isn’t meant to have reversals and when reversals do come up, just pay extra attention to it. i find it funny how i mentioned the empress earlier and boom here she is. so three is the number of creation, of taking an idea (the magician) and making it into a reality (the empress)

the empress is ruled by libra which is ruled by venus. love on yourself today and show yourself some self-care. indulge a little bit, treat yourself. take comfort in knowing the seeds you’ve sown and coming to and everything is going to work out. today and tomorrow are prime times for manifesting abundance.

hold yourself from a place of love and nurture your relationships. go out and connect with nature if you can today. growth is on the horizon and look at things you find beautiful today. things that give you pleasure, that make you feel love or good about yourself. care for yourself first and then show that care for others.

the empress is clarified by the sixth chakra, archangel metatron. honestly i know nothing about metatron so i’m not going to pretend i do. but the sixth chakra is the third eye chakra which is all about our inner guidance. follow and trust your intuition today and pay attention to your dreams tonight. clarity will make itself known today and you’ll likely have a spiritual download or realisation of some kind.

going back to the first card of this spread, transformation, the woman in the card made me think of having an epiphany. today something will click, the dust will settle, and what you need to know will be revealed. this card can represent a new beginning and a deeper insight of what’s been going on. this new beginning i’m feeling is tied to the realisation you’ll have today.

oh my god one card left

the last card is an affirmation for us all today:

“I find a deeper meaning and personal growth amid the discomfort.”

all in all today, despite uncomfortable situations or talks we may have today, ultimately these are the happenings that help us grow. we will never grow without changes or setbacks, without feeling out of our comfort zone. embrace the change and let go of negativity of the past. make way for renewal and beautiful transformations. the strength of our character will shine today. trust your intuition and go along for the ride.

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fijiangecko · 5 years

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When the Sun Rises in the West

Prologue

A/N: AHHH IT'S HERE!! I'm so excited to finally share this! I'm planning on posting chapters every couple days so I make you all wait for it 😉 this whole series was entirely based off of this playlist, and every chapter will have a theme. This one isn't super edited but I actually love this series. Heavily based off of GoT (locations and dergons) but no spoilers. This story doesn't use the same plot or same characters.

C/N = City Name

Word Count: 1,700+

The barren wasteland of Essos was home to many people for the past several centuries. From dry deserts to scattered mountain ranges, the people couldn't have been happier to be alive and not in Westeros, dealing with the war of the iron throne. Blood shed, tears, agony and resentment are what wars left behind, not the virtues of peace and prosperity they promised. You, for one, would never want to experience anything like it. As heiress to a city newfound within the last century, your heart is only filled with love for your people. Never in your life would you wish to put a sword in a child's hand and tell them to fight for your honor, and not their own.

There's a reason your people haven't had to fight yet. Both the natural defenses that C/N holds and the ferociousness of native animals. C/N lies in a valley between several mountains. It is deep enough to have its own water supply, and no sane ruler would have his army climb over such steep mountain tops. Plus, they've only heard rumors about you, but no one would dare see if they were true.

The people of C/N love your family and care for you deeply, wishing you good health and even better prosperity. Children walk with you through the streets as you treat them to exotic fruits and pleasantries. The adults are thankful to all gods that they have found this Oasis, this sanctuary of peace and happiness. After trekking across the Red Waste and the Dothraki Sea they found a home for both themselves and their families. They smile as you walk by, greeting you and presenting you with their wares. Oftentimes, they will want you to take it for free - a gift, but you refuse every time. You live with the head family, there's no need for you to get freebies. Everyone lives in simple splendor with their everyday lives; content at the opportunity to have an easy life until they die.

"Y/N!" You snap out of a memory where you're dancing around a great pyre to an ancient song with the town elders. It was the celebration of your fifteenth birthday, an important day in a young person's life as they graduate from childhood to adulthood. "You know you have to leave soon, right?" Your mother walks around the grand table to you, and tests her hand on top of yours. She smiles sweetly as she waits for a response.

"I know, I just don't want too." Your eyes travel downwards at the new memory. Your birthday was in two months, and the 22nd birthday through your family lineage meant marriage. Although you wouldn't be taking over C/N anytime soon due to Fathers good health, there's still a need to have good trade relationships with other cities across the nation. You know that they wouldn't force you into a relationship, as their parents didn't, but let something grow naturally with one of the children of other head families. Out of so many there was bound to be one that caught your favor… or so they hoped.

"It'll be okay pumpkin, we didn't want to send you away for so many months, but Masaru's son is the only person in the world that is like you. There has to be a bond there we don't know about." In the past few months, head families have traveled to meet you and hope that they can tie the knot with you. They were all turned away, due to a couple big factors. 1) they were too young, 2) they had a stick up their ass, 3) they didn't give a shit about what happened to the citizens of their towns and would profit off of their tragedy and 4) there were allegations of slave trade among them. True or not, you would not stand to put a price on human life. If there were allegations, then that means someone connected to them was either in or around the trades themselves. It was sickening to think about. As far as you know, the Bakugou bloodline doesn't have any affiliations with slave traders, their son is your age, if not a little older and cared about his people in an odd way.

"Why am I going for so long? I'm going to miss my 22nd celebration…"

"Well, the Bakugou's haven't been sending us a lot of materials lately, so you're not only there for personal interest but diplomatically. We need these materials for more homes. Those children you live are becoming adults, but we don't have the means to help them." She squeezes your hand. "You can help them. Missing your celebration will suck, I know, but we'll have it as soon as you get back. Plus we'll need to talk about who's going to marry who."

Anxiety bubbles in your chest, but you pop it with a calming smile. "I know. I don't like any of the other candidates, but if the rumors about the younger Bakugou are true than I shouldn't have to worry. If we are the only two in the world that are this way, isn't that a sign from gods old and new?"

"That's the spirit Y/N. We'll finish packing your stuff. Go finish saying your goodbyes." Your mother smiles sweetly and give you a tight hug before letting you go. The rest of the night you reminisce with old friends. You all talk about old shenanigans and pranks you used it pull on older people, but now you're the older people having pranks pulled on them. It is a great night of food and friends with a light dusting of sadness topped off with tears. You were gonna miss everyone, but you must do what they need you to do. They weren't crying because they were acted for you, more like they didn't want you to leave.

At first you misinterpreted their tears, "Guys, I'm gonna be okay! I'll have Rhaegal and Viserion with me."

"No Y/N, we don't want you to go!" Mina cries from across the tavern table. The tears were appreciated, and broke your heart.

"I'll be back before you know it. Maybe I'll even have some eye candy at my side." Everyone laughs and you take the rest of the night to enjoy their company. You wouldn't have been able to sleep anyways, so this was a pleasant alternative.

The morning sun is bright when your eyes crack open. They hurt for a couple seconds, but it passes as your body adjusts to new circumstances. The sun itself is only cresting over the mountain tops, creating a golden glow around everything the light touches. That's when it hits you - this is last sunrise you'll be seeing for who knows how long. If all goes well diplomatically, then you'll be able to return home within a month, but if conflicts arise… you try not to put much thought into it and just watch the hues of peach and orange dance across the sky.

Softly, someone places a hand on your shoulder breaking your stream of thoughtlessness. "It's time to go." Your mother spoke quietly, as though cooing a newborn. Her velvet voice helps calm you even further. It'll only be for a little while. I don't even have to focus on Masaru's son if I don't want too. "C'mon, let's go grab Rhaegal and Viserion."

Walking towards the edge of town, a cart with all of your things lies ahead on the path, waiting to be pulled by 2 horses and their carriage master, Kota. He smiles at you, and you back to him. You can't help but wonder how such a sweet stable boy would want in Mereen, but maybe he just wanted to take Clyde and Grumm out for a walk after being cooped up for so long. You and your mother walk around the base of one of the surrounding mountains to a cave entrance. It's too dark to see inside, but you know the two are there; waiting to be set free since the last incident.

"Ñuhyz zaldrīzesse." Screeching bounced off of the cavern walls, the cacophony animalistic gurgles and grunts echo both out and further into the tunnels. An orange flame lights up the room suddenly, and the scale from the beasts glisten in the fire light. Large cuffs are wrapped around their necks that have chains bolted into the mountain walls. "Ñuha riñar, Rhaegal se Viserion. Iksan vaoreznuni." You walk over to the chains and unlatch them. Their large bodies tower over your own, but you can feel that they mean no harm. Rhaegal nuzzles his chin on the top of your head, as if saying "I know". His green scales shine Viserion bellows out another flame. Altogether, you exit the cave.

"They don't seem agitated." Your mother stands back quite a ways; she knows that they would never harm her but they are very large creatures.

"No, they learned their lesson." You run a hand over Viserion's cream colored scales, looking into his golden eyes. "Daēz." Upon the last sound leaving your lips, the spread their massive wings and take off, spurring dust clouds at their feet.

"Hopefully the Bakugou boy is as caring as you are." She laughs as you both walk to the wagon. Kota stares at the beasts in the sky, marvelling at them as they sore and howl.

"If he's the only other person in this world who has one, then he better be taking care of it as if it were his child."

"There is a reason they call you Muña Zaldrīzoti, my dear." You both laugh for a second and you look up at her.

"I'm going to miss you." You take her hands in your own, and squeeze them. She reciprocates it by releasing your hands and going for a hug.

"You'll do great. I know it and so does your father." She squeezes her arms before releasing. "Now go off and do amazing things." Tears prick the corners of you eyes, but you hold them back as best you can. With one last glance at your smiling mother, you hop on the carriage next to Koda and start on your journey to Mereen.

Ñuhyz zaldrīzesse - My dragons

Ñuha riñar - My children

Iksan vaoreznuni - I'm sorry

Daēz - Be Free

Muña Zaldrīzoti - Mother of Dragons

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birdlingstarot · 4 years

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Hey! I was wondering if i can get a general tarot reading about my relationship between me and my boyfriend (Nel), just like what's going between us and what needs to change. I'll send you a picture of us because your rules say is okay to do so, and maybe it will help you more. Thank you! - Valentina 🌻

Hello 🌻 Valentina!

A little birdie told me this 🕊

What represents your relationship currently? XLIV - The Box

This relationship has a great potential. However, the shine of the relationship is being limited, be it through others’ opinions, both of your opinions, what is believed to be the norm etc. This relationship is being played out using what you know or expect to work consciously or subconsciously. This resulted in limiting the potential of the relationship.

The relationship could potentially become boring or lack the passion you and/or your partner hope to have in a romantic relationship. Try something new together. Remember that the relationship is between both of you. Are the expectations of your relationship formed from both of you or are they rooted from a source outside of your relationship.

Communicate with each other on what makes each of you happy, ticked off and the like. Be open to each other. Make sure that what you do for your partner is what makes your partner happy not what you expect would make your partner happy.

To put in an example for better explanation, it’s like you bringing your partner out to a high class restaurant because you believe that it is romantic and sure it does make your partner happy but they would be happier if both of you have a candlelight dinner at home prepared by the both of you together instead.

This would help igniting more passion into the relationship as one/both of you might feel that the relationship is lacking.

Through this, your partner would out in more effort into the relationship to woo the other to reciprocate the affection.

What does 🌻 Valentina wants in this relationship? Frog, Lamb and Rabbit

You want someone who can be your pillar of support especially during tough times. A relationship where you are not afraid of being vulnerable in. You want someone who is attentive to you and listens to you, be it happy moments or sad/ angry moments. Slightly docile as well. Sensitive to your emotions and takes good care of you to sum it up slightly.

Nel could likely be someone with earth dominant with water following after in his natal chart if you are interested in astrology.

(I am getting a feeling that Nel might have an earth sun and water moon, taurus energy too, he likely likes the finer things in life and does not mind splurging where he deem is worth it)

(I am also getting the feeling that you have air and water dominant in your chart, leo sun with air moon/ rising) [Please tell me if this is true, I’m trying to improve, thank you! :D]

You likely want someone energetic but drama-free, someone who provides you comfort when you are out of your comfort zone, be it trying new things or when you’re in a tough spot in your life as well as someone who would remind you to take care of yourself.

You likely prefer men who leans more towards the hairy side of the spectrum when it comes to appearance.

In addition, you would also like for them to be spiritual or at least someone who is open about spirituality one way or another.

You want someone who is able to provide you guidance gently and patiently.

You might also need to be patient with your partner as here as they are likely one who would prefer to approach you after thinking things through while you might prefer to immediately have a discussion.

What does 🌻 Nel wants in this relationship? Crocodile; Son (Knight) of Cups, 10 of Swords, Son (Knight) of Swords, 8 of Wands and 4 of Pentacles

Please prepare yourself 🌻 Valentina. Please read through this entirety before overthinking.

Nel is likely still thinking about his past relationship, this could be romantic, platonic, family etc. However, this person affected him a lot and could still be in contact with him currently.

He wants someone that does not lash out suddenly but is able to snap him out of himself when he got too absorb in the past. He wants someone strong and firm with him in this regards. as he is still has quite a bit to learn regarding emotional stability.

He is likely someone who prefers to keep to themselves when he has a problem and overthinks. This makes himself the worst enermy to him, which is when you come in. He wants someone who can get him moving.

For example:

Him: *Brooding and overthinking about someone with millions of potential scenarios*

You: Snap, snap boy! Get your shit together, it ain’t a big deal and you don’t know hoe it’ll end if you never start.

Him: But...

You: JUST DO IT!!!!

Him: A’ight girl, I’m moving, I’m moving.

You: FASTER!!!!

Him: OKAY, OKAY, MOVING!

Something like that.

He’d likely have a plan put together after a while of pondering on the problem but needs the push to get started in implementing it.

He’s likely someone who is creative artistically and could be surprisingly passionate about things which could come off as a surprise as he tends to protray a much more toned down when speaking about his passion. He’d be happy if you could recognise them and praise him. (He might try to be cool about your praise but he’s jumping right up cloud by cloud to cloud nine internally)

He likes to be in control and panics if he’s not, especially when it comes to the materialistic world. He would like someone who can calm him down and supprot him when that happens. He likely needs to learn to let go of control and let things flow.

What does 🌻 Valentina needs in this relationship? Mother of Cups, Judgement, 6 of Pentacles and 2 of Cups

You need a someone who is emotionally mature and is able to provide tender comfort, hugs, when you don’t feel the best. Preferably, those that listens to you ranting, crying and be like ‘it’s okay babe’ type compared to the solving all your issues/ being a ‘professional’ problem-solver, at least initially. After a while, if the problem persist than he would sit down with you to discuss how to tackle the problem together.

You should get hugs. You’ll feel better with hugs.

You need someone who have strong morals and objective, especially during tough times when your feelings are more volatile. Someone’s whose able to stay calm and logical and provide guidance in tough times.

10 and 2 might be numbers you’d like to take note of if they are repetitive during certain periods, especially 1010.

You need someone committed in the relationship who’s not playing around and someone you can connect to on the emotional level.

In addition, your relationship should not progress too fast. You are likely to be impatient and wants immediate results but you should slow down.

Your relationship should grow like a plant, carefully and tenderly and overtime, bears fruits and flowers. Recognize the smaller things and be grateful to them, don’t let expectations shift your attention from them. Enjoy the journey and you’ll find happiness closer than you think.

What does 🌻 Nel needs in this relationship? Temperance, Ace of Sups, 4 of Swords

He needs someone to balance him out in the relationship, someone opposite to him is ideal. For instance, when he gets too inactive in the physical world, he needs someone who could toss him out of whatever hole he’s in and get moving or if he gets too panicky about a situation, he needs someone who’s chill in that situation. Generally, someone to bring him back into balance when he gets too extreme in any particular situation.

He needs someone who is like a breath of fresh air to him or rather, he needs to recognize that you are a different person compared to whoever he is very affected by back when we were speaking about in what he wants in this relationship.

He needs someone who is mentally strong who can help him improve mentally. Again, he tends to overthink and make a small issue seem much larger than it is which could very likely leads to self-deprecating.

Remember all these stated is vice versa, both of you can and should improve together, this is stated in the generally manner of things, especially when things get tough for one or both of you.

Remember it’s:

Both of you VS Issue

NOT

You VS Him

Sit down, sip some good tea and discuss the issue. Write points down and address them if that helps.

Advice for 🌻 Valentina:

Helping her boyfriend 17 Minimus, 24 Paradisiacal, 6 Epiphany

Guide him through his tough times through discussions. Help him find the source of the issue that is bothering him and discuss methods to help/ solve the issue as likely he would have trouble identifying the source.

Be yourself not what you expect what he wants you to be. It is definitely understandable that both of you want to be as perfect as possible to each other but don’t compromise your unique qualities because they are amazing. They are, in fact, one of the most effective and unconscious efforts to bring him to recognize that you are not someone else and to not associate you with someone else. Be confident in your own skin!

Words of affirmations and hugs for him, especially since he’d have a tendency to degrade himself mentally. Smack your affection and how you view him into his face and shove it down his throat. He needs to know how amazing he is and you are happy to be with him but will be happier if he recognize more of his worth. Scream it at him. Text him. Leave notes. Attack him with hugs and kisses. Whatever that both of you fancy. Don’t go too crazy though. (Don’t take the screaming advice, it’s not advice but if it works go ahead)

On yourself: 5 Gilded Regret

Accept the past for what’s it to be. It’s alright to think about the past but remember the past is the past. Be it yours or his. Don’t let it linger and affect you, him and/or your relationship because of what has already left.

This is applicable to your boyfriend as well.

To improve this relationship:

43 Owl Spirit - You see clearly now

Quiet down and observe. You already know what’s needs to be done. You can see it clearly and not through a fog now. You have the power to see things clearly and decide.

You hold power here. You are the empress here. You know the wise decision. Don’t rush, don’t panic.

Simply observe and you’ll know. Be objective and listen to your intuition.

57 Squirrel Spirit - Believe in yourself

Be confident. Don’t keep relying on others. It’s good to hear opinions but they shouldn’t be the foundation of your actions or how you see your relationship or anything connected to your relationship to be. They should only provide another view to look at the situation.

You know best here. Accept and see different views before acting. Trust yourself and what your intuition and mind tells you.

28 Frog Spirit - Clear out the clutter

Don’t cling on to what’s not there.

Release what needs to be. Communicate with your boyfriend and understand each other. What is it about each other that has changed? Observe and learn to accept them.

Don’t bring the past into your relationship. Look at the present and the future, they are more important and requires both of your attention, not the past.

Understand where the foundation of your relationship lies. Understand what keeps the relationship strong and what weakens the relationship.

You do not need to toss out what weakens the relationship but communicate and improve on the weaknesses and create something out of them to strengthen your relationship. Once done, be grateful and release what is then in the past.

Don;t play games. Don’t explode.

Calmly present your emotions and wear your heart on your sleeve.

25 Elephant Spirit - Learn from the past

Again, learn from the past but don’t hold on to them. Appreciate what had happen and let them go.

Don’t let the past affect your emotions and the relationship.

Build on the past but never linger too long.

The past is like a museum, something to be appreciated from time to time but never affecting you more than what it had already did.

The divine spirit guides are guiding you, don’t worry.

35 Koala Spirit - Spirit has a plan

Do not worry, the divine spirit guides are guiding you, lighting your way however small the light might be. Don’t panic when things doesn’t seem to be going as expected or if something seems off.

Make sure to separate what came about from overthinking or rose-coloured glasses from the truth of things.

26 Flamingo Spirit - Embrace the in-between

Learn to appreciate even the smallest of things.

Learn to appreciate the good side in every bad situation and the bad side in every good situation.

Appreciate what is between the both of you. It is something beautiful and should be treated with respect and kindness.

It’s the little things, you know. People tend to forget that.

Bring them into your daily life.

Oh, you cooked? Thank you, it’s amazing.

Oh, tired? You’d worked hard.

You washed the dishes? Thank you, that’s very thoughtful of you.

Love even the smallest of things and you’ll be surprised at how much love can be accumulated. Every little counts, right?

Anything you feel even remotely about, say it. Communicate it. Don’t let them be stored within you. You should share what the other had done that made you happy. Cheesy? Probably. Worth it? Damn straight it is. Sharing is caring.

4 Badger Spirit - Be fearless and bold

Be confident. Trust yourself and your intuition. Step up to initiate something. The box we mentioned that represents your relationship has many layers. It’s time to break them to shine greater.

Don’t limit yourself. Don’t limit the potential.

It can be destabilizing but what’s good doesn’t come cheap.

We always say that the more challenges you’d overcome, the stronger you are. We can say the same with any relationship. Always remember that in this relationship, you overcome the hurdles together not separately. Work together, not against each other.

I believe that you already understood the areas you can improve on in this relationship. All the best to the both of you! May this relationship blossom beautifully. (Remember to tend to the weeds, water it and love and care for it)

If you require more assistance, please feel free to ring our doorbell again!

We hope this had helped you, 🌻 Valentina!

For now, the little birdie shall return home 🏡 ~ Ring our doorbell whenever!

Rest well 💤 ~

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bitchesgetriches · 5 years

Note

Hi Bitches! I will be having my annual review soon, and I was wondering if you could give me some tips on what to do and what to expect, or point me in the direction of where I could get some good reliable info on that! I want to ask for a raise, but I don't know how common that is, and how much to ask for. I'll only have been at the company for a year at an entry level design job so...? Thanks for everything always!!

Hey sweetpea! So glad you asked this question. An annual review is something we all have to deal with at our jobs, and as I just did mine last month, I feel pretty prepared to answer.

Some jobs have a format to follow, expected questions, etc. Others do a free-form annual review. Regardless of what your company has set up, in general you’ll be asked to review yourself first, and then listen to your boss reviewing you. To prep for this, I recommend you sit down a few days before your review and write down some notes in the following categories:

1. What skills you’re acing at work. Include any major specific wins you’ve had during your first year. Maybe you successfully achieved your quota for sales! Maybe you learned a new computer program like Adobe InDesign that’ll help you do your job better. Maybe you started a professional relationship with a new client that has led to more revenue for the company. Whatever your markers of success, make sure they come with numbers. You want to be able to show how your individual successes have helped the company. And numbers do that in the most sexy, concrete way.

2. What you could improve about your job performance. Note how I wrote that: I did not say “your weaknesses” or “your failures.” You want to direct your evaluator away from the concept of you sucking. So, you use language to show that you’re still working on some stuff! Focus on skills you know you’re not the best at, but indicate how you have a plan to get better at those skills. This is why you should write these notes down a few days ahead of time: so you have time to brainstorm plans for improvement.

3. Your goals for the next year. Derive this information from the first two categories. If you need to improve your cold-calling skills, set a concrete goal for how to do so here. If you signed 30 contracts this year, make it a goal to sign 35 in the next year. The point here is to show that you are sticking around, not looking to jump ship, which your boss will love. It also shows that you’re a hard worker and you’re invested in the future of the company. It also indicates that you’re going to be doing more work, taking on more responsibility, and working harder, which primes them for...

4. Why you deserve a raise. Again, include numbers. Draw from the categories above to show why you deserve more money and why it’s in the company’s best interest to give you more money. Privately, you should think about how much you’d like, and what you’d be willing to accept instead of a raise (more vacation days, flexible schedule, work from home Fridays, etc).

That’s how you should prep for your annual review. As far as the raise goes, here’s some more detailed advice on how to handle that aspect of things:

The First Time I Asked for a Raise

You Need to Ask for a Fucking Raise

Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment

A Millennial's Guide to Growing Your Salary

GO GET ‘EM, TIGER.

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masslessobtrusion · 3 years

Text

This was the last conversation I had with Lauren before she passed away...

It’s unedited besides some names and cities. Lauren It hurts me and stresses me out and triggers me to know you're high right now and I just celebrated my 90 days completely sober from everything yesterday and I want to cry and because of that i can't talk to you for my sake and well-being because this is the first time in my life I have put myself first and I feel great except I'm stressed out now. It's nice to have a sober support group to help, but still ?? Lauren I can't talk to you because I cry and it threatens this great thing I have right now and want to hold on to Ryan I've actually been clean. I'd rather have you as a friend than be high. Lauren That's fucking awesome!! But I need time still and I'm learning patience too Ryan No one talks to me, everyone cancels their plans on me, just because I told them about it. I really need a friend. Lauren It's hard to see you and very confusing and uncomfortable I can't talk to you. Ryan what if I flew you to ****on august 26th. no access to anything and the maywether/McGregor fight is on. the pool is heated, it feels awesome I'll do anything to have you as a friend. Going to home was a nice change in my routine. rollcall is banned forever, markets went down. There's no getting anything. Lauren All I can say is if you want people in your life, open yourself to the idea of AA and get yourself a sponsor and find a way to see what the program is all about past the God stuff. Because what it's really all about is a bunch of fucked up people who have lost everybody and everything getting together and making friends and supporting each other. You will find friends and support through AA. Lauren That's all I have to say. Bye. Ryan Hey, please don't do this. I'm totally good. So many people cut me out of their life. I stopped benzos and kratom is down to one small spoon in the morning. i'm lifting weights. I'm feeling good about uber. Lauren Join AA. Ryan ok Lauren not that you join. Just go. Every day. Ryan if that's what you want me to do to be friends with you. I'll do it. Lauren You will find people. Ryan I don't really want people like that. Just my old friends who don't use. Lauren That's what it will take. AA. Just keep going. Ryan I'm glad it's helping you. It is, right? Lauren More than anything. I have legit friends now and most of all I have support for anything that's bothering me Ryan I figured this would happen. But was hoping that you could not cut me out your life. I won't do anything to hurt you or your sobriety. I promise. Keep me at a distance for a while. But please don't cut me out. Lauren I stay away from guys like they suggest because of 13th stepping Ryan I saw your new fetlife. ?? Lauren AA has changed my life. And no, I don't believe in God. Ryan But I'm glad you're not getting 13th stepped. Lauren I have to until you're completely sober and have a sober support network through either smart recovery, na, or aa Ryan Could you be my support if I need it? I don't care about drugs. I just want a friend to bullshit with. Lauren I can't because men stick with men and women with women for distraction purposes Ryan and you've been my best friend for a long time now. I don't care if you have a boyfriend or you're getting tied up and stuff. Lauren Do AA. You'll meet people and see them everyday at meetings. Its nice Ryan I like you so much. It would be devastating. I'll do it. I have a pinball tournament tonight and am possibly meeting up with arielle, her boyfriend, and ashley. But feel like they'll flake. But I'm still playing pinball. I'll go to a meeting ASAP. I promise. I mean it. Lauren It would seriously be the best thing you ever do. You'll thank me, I promise. But you have to keep going even if you think it's a crock of shit at first. People start off going in pissed off all the time until they start to realize it helps. Ryan I'll probably do NA though. The way you're talking feels like you've be indoctrinated into something that excludes people. I'm glad that you're safe and being healthy though. but i want your friendship. It's pretty much the most meaningful thing to me. and to lose that. I would have nothing. I've been hanging on, waiting for you all of this time. I want to be a positive influence for you Lauren I wouldn't say that. I would say check out both. I've found the people in AA are better but na is more relatable People in na tell more war stories so it might be a better place to start off because you'll have stuff to talk about. Thing is though more people go to meetings high than in aa Ryan I met a new girl too. Nothing serious. But it's a confidence boost. And you're still #1 to me. Lauren All I can tell you is that If you keep going every day you will meet people you can relate to and who will be there for you Ryan actually, I probably won't see her for a long time, because she's moving. okay, I love you though and want you to be my best friend. What's the word? Standard? Just, no matter what. Always be available to me. This attitude that you have is good. You're in control and you set the rules. I'm okay with that. I don't want to be abandoned again. It's the shittiest feeling. and I don't want you to say it's selfish. Lauren I'm available if you get sober because once you're sober, in order to stay sober it's a good idea to avoid people who are using or drinking. It makes sense... Ryan Because you're the only person that really knows me and one of the very few humans that will talk to me. Lauren sober Ryan would be like the Ryan I first met biking... trail running... Ryan I didn't do anything bad. I won't in the future either. Lauren POSITIVE. http://www.*****.org/meetings Meetings | ***** Area of Narcotics Anonymous The 8888Area is part of the *** Region of NA with meetings in ***, Brighton, Longmont, and Louisville, Nederland, and Westminster. ********.org Ryan guhhhh, my cardio sucks, but I've been lifting dumb bells and push ups and I gained some weight. I'm like 155-160 Lauren it sucked when you first started doing it years ago but you got past it and felt great! I remember. You were so confident! it's such a relief to hear you're on the right path Ryan shoulder pain still controls me. Lauren really. Ryan yes. Would you want to go to STL with me next month, get an airbnb? or I could fly out there? Lauren Here. Go to the Longmont one at 7pm tonight while it's still fresh from talking to me http://www.*******.org/meetings/wednsday Ryan and you can see me being healthy and sober. I have plans tonight. Pinball and possibly friends. But definitely pinball. Lauren I'm going to be at the halfway house next month. I'm staying with my uncle until a space is available it's a tournament? Ryan yeah Lauren then go tomorrow http://www.*******.org/meetings/thursday Ryan and i wanted to see if arielle and her bf wanted to get happy hour sushi before. Lauren seriously, ignore everything "god" and just meet people Ryan and ashley said she would hang out and smoke weed with me from a guy she knows that grows and she bought a bunch. but everyone flakes out. Even Robin did for camp dick, planned it 2 weeks ahead. Then he tells me his friend is having a going away party that weekend a few days before. Lauren well I hope everything works out Ryan I'll go tomorrow. Lauren let me know how it goes otherwise don't message me because it'll just make me sad ?? Ryan cool well, not the sad part but yeah, i'll do anything to keep our friendship going. Lauren you're going to meet people. that's what I think is going to be the best and when they ask if anyone's there for the first time... introduce yourself as Ryan and say it's your first na meeting ever Ryan okay thanks for the tips, anything else? Lauren people will come find you and introduce themselves. it's cool how friendly people there are. because they remember what it was like yeah... hang around awkwardly afterwards or bum a cigarette from someone and talk to them if no one comes to you lol Ryan If I do well and meet your expectations, can we hang out? people don't even talk to me at pinball. i hate it. sooooo many times, i start talking to someone and they just start talking to someone else Lauren maybe once you have some clean/sober time under your belt Ryan 15 days so far Lauren that's what's so cool! addicts love to talk to other addicts because they're blacksheep too no alcohol? Ryan i drank at my parents less than they did Lauren dude I found not drinking at all has helped with my mood SO much. just saying for me. Ryan I don't really drink alcohol though. Lauren i know you're going to meet people who are a lot like you I think you'll be surprised Ryan that's a possibility, but really. I'd rather just not have anything drug related in my life. Lauren "hey I'm Ryan. I'm an addict. It's my first time at any kind of meeting like this" Ryan I'm going to check it out though. Lauren thanks Ryan You'll be safe in St. Louis. Lauren it's going to be a while Ryan and we could watch the fights Lauren one step at a time. Ryan well, should I sell my vouchers then? Lauren yeah Ryan :( Lauren or find someone else because i can't go Ryan that was a little dramatic of an emoji Lauren oh lol Ryan but i just wanted a sad face Lauren got it Ryan so, how is fetlife? Lauren I have to go but I'll let you know I just chat with people and still haven't met up with anyone Ryan it kind of worries me. Lauren the tail pic is from my friend Richie who we webcammed with the one time (first kiss/high school friend) it was casual. Ryan doesn't seem like a sober living thing to do. But I suppose it's your rules. Lauren yeah, I'm more looking for a girl Ryan nice want to see the girl I've been hanging out with? Lauren no dude! Ryan ok Lauren hah ouch. talking to you hurts me enough Ryan oh Lauren but anyway I have to go Ryan I didn't mean to do that. I got the feeling that you didn't care. Ok, so, can I still talk to you and stuff. I'm so lonely. Lauren I just can't help but want to help you feel like you used to and find friends shit i'm so fucking up you really can't ?? Ryan I don't want rehab friends. I want hobby friends. Lauren it's part of my treatment plan and stuff that's not even AA related Ryan cool, I like hearing that you have a plan. Lauren yeah. i'm just doing what they tell me because i don't ever want to go back to drinking like i was a couple months ago or shooting dope obviously my decisions don't exactly work so i'm letting them make decisions for me... weird as that sounds. but it's working well so far ?? Ryan then don't talk about it until you're good at it. awesome I just hope you don't get taken advantage of mentally or physically. Lauren nah, i'm still ultimately in control of my life Ryan you're my #1 human. I don't want to lose you. I'll go tomorrow. Let you know about it. Lauren anyway, i can't talk to you for a while. but do the na/aa thing to make sure you stay sober (the counting days part is kind of cool too) and then we'll talk in a couple of months. but go everyday as something to do and a way to socialize and get out of that apartment Ryan a couple of months? why? I would never do that to someone. Lauren because i'm still fresh and easily stressed and because i want to make sure you're committed to this sobreity thing Ryan who is asking for help and it's me Lauren i'm letting you know it's what I feel is best for me it's a couple of months. it's not a couple years. Ryan okay, but I'll support you too. Lauren you can randomly message me with how many days you have Ryan I feel like, just empty. i knew this would happen. Lauren if I don't respond don't think I don't care... know that I'm seriously smiling Ryan my intuition, you know it's legit. Lauren you've got this . Ryan we're no different than the hundreds of stories I've read Lauren now go out and meet people! *hug* Ryan I'm willing to support and help you with whatever you want. Lauren bye Ryan You're giving me a "god bless" like southern women do when they really mean something else. it's not necessary. fuck now I have absolutely zero people who I thought care about me. I've reached out to so many people. This isn't helping anything. If it were, I would tell you. You're super hot too. I don't think you realize how much of a difference that makes. Why not make me go to a reddit meetup or something, maybe I could network instead of focusing on drugs with current and former addicts. I've always disliked other users. You know this. Just bringing up counter arguments. annnnd Ashley just flaked out, didn't see that coming. Arielle flaking out should happen in about an hour. I may go camping by myself, just not ask anyone to go, because they just flake out 9/10 times. Dude, I have no one to talk to. and I want to talk to you. I'm going to go crazy talking to myself, without you responding. Can we set up a schedule to talk? Ryan I'm telling you that this hurts me. It does. I hate being abandoned, not invited and flaked out on more than anything. I feel kind of used too. I was there for you all of this time. All of the phone calls. And then I'm abandoned when I'm doing what I consider good. Those people are going to tell you to tell me to fuck off. That's what makes me think about cults and seperation. It's black and white. And I'm not black and white. so, i'm begging you, whatever is in your head. Just treat me like you used to. Please, I'm desperate as can be. So, can we set a scheduled time, so there isn't random ghostings. annnnnd Arielle just cancelled. Lauren And this is why I fucked up in talking to you. Now I feel guilty and stresses out. Learn patience. Good. Bye. Ryan What did I do? I'm asking for help and friendship. I'm being nice as can be. Am I not? Tell me what I'm doing wrong, so I can learn from mistakes. and im blocked wtf, you really just unfriended me? Lauren? please I would never do this to you. You don't feel like it's wrong at all? i'm just going to cry and remember that everyone treats me like shit. I'm some worthless piece of shit. So I deserve to be treated like one. I would never ever treat you or anyone like this. Lauren I blocked you then realized there was a take a break option then unblocked to do that but realized,you can still message me and now I have to wait 48 hours to block you So please let me take a break! Ryan Don't block me Lauren For my Fucking sobriety This is why they tell me not to talk to you! Ryan why, even think about it. I want you to be sober. I'm being supportive. Lauren I'm stressed as fuck now You're NOT! Ryan Yeah, they do that to everyone. It's like a cult. Like I said earlier. I've read hundreds of stories. But you can make exceptions. If you have a friend in need of help. Lauren You're making me feel guilty and stresses and cry because you're not letting me go for a while Ryan I'm not asking for much. I said I would go to an NA meeting tomorrow. Lauren Just PLEASE stop messaging me For me. Ahhhhhhh! PLEASE. Ryan I just want you to respond or have a certain timeframe of when you can respond to me. Otherwise I get upset. Lauren I. don't. Know. Ryan because I have NO ONE to talk to. absolutely no one. Lauren When you're 90 days clean and sober from everything, ok? Use meetings to help Now please Let me go This is killing me Ryan It doesn't have to be so black and white. I'm on your side and you're treating me like an enemy. I've always been on your side. I want to help you. Lauren Because you're being an enemy to my sobriety and my well being and it's selfish. Ryan I didn't do anything. I sent you pictures of a dog and told you77777 that I'm sober. I was being happy and stuff Lauren Leave me alone!!!!!! Don't talk to me. Ryan ok9 Get some sober time and then talk to me. But don't talk to me now. Thank you Ryan I'm fine and the most sober I've been in a long time. it's not a competition. but i will look elsewhere for friendship, or just cut myself or something. This sucks either way. I'm not going to be your enemy. Because I'm not and never will be. I just lost my best friend of 3-4 years. The closest friend I've ever had.

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years

Text

OK, I'LL TELL YOU YOU ABOUT COMPANIES

Maybe not all the way to succeed is through following the rules. Raising money decreases the risk of failure.1 It would be pretty straightforward to make a few people think in our insular little Web 2.2 If you want to take longer, of course; when parents do that sort of thing? Why is it that research can be done by any sufficiently rich private citizen. So the best plan would be to try it. If half the startups we fund succeed, then half of you are going to get: either part of a study.3 Sure, go off and get jobs or go to grad school in the fall the startup reads to everyone as a programmer. That would be an extraordinary bargain.4 Another reason parents don't want their kids having sex is that they get paid by getting their capital back, ideally after the startup IPOs, or failing that when it's acquired. When a man runs off with his secretary, is it always partly his wife's fault?

He knows what happened in Viaweb. It has always seemed to me the solution is to take fewer board seats.5 Of course, what shows up on the radar screen may be different from the one after the Internet Bubble. I've found myself nostalgic for the old days, you could presumably get them to stay is to give them enough that they're not tempted by an offer from Silicon Valley VCs that requires them to invest large amounts, and a large class of startups that cause stampedes end up flaming out in extreme cases, partly as a way to make viewers watch TV synchronously instead of watching recorded shows when it suited them. Many students feel they should wait and get a job. Parents know they've concealed the facts about sex, and many at some point, either when you graduate they don't give you a list of all the startups they'd invested in.6 So why shouldn't undergrads be able to say they were funded by Sequoia, even if they don't hit it, they've failed in the only thing that mattered, and you feel you have to understand the forces driving it. You can see the desktop is over. The popular image of a visionary. I suspect they'd have a hard time enforcing this, but that's because it's so important. If anything oversensitive.

Along with such outright lies, there must have been told a lot of people, but in fact it will have near zero effect on Boston when we were based there half the year.7 If you made something no better than GMail, but fast, that alone would let you start to pull users away from GMail.8 But eventually the open source world won, by producing Javascript libraries that grew over the brokenness of Explorer the way a startup feels is at least a roller coaster and not drowning. When it comes to deals, you have to be a large tumor.9 Why isn't there a parallel VC industry that invests in ordinary companies in return for the money? Then you'd really be in good shape. So if it seems too good to be true to think you could grow a local silicon valley by giving startups $15-20k each like Y Combinator there, but it's often frustrating at 15.

But there is no secret cabal making it all work. I thought I was ready to question everything I knew.10 The second will be easier. Till about 2002 you could safely misinterpret it as promising that clock speeds would double every 18 months.11 Raising money is the better choice, because new technology is usually more valuable now than later.12 Acquirers too, while we're at it. 1-n Whenever you're trading stock in your company for something that more than doubles the company's average outcome, you're net ahead.13

Whereas a 25 year old over the 32 year old. They'll edge gradually into a different business without realizing it. If you want to learn what lies are told to kids, the most common reason they give is to protect them.14 As long as you've made something that a few months ago we replaced it with an iMac bolted to the wall. That's an extreme example, of course; when parents do that sort of narrow focus can be. So at the last moment. After we fund startups we work closely with them for three months—so closely in fact that we insist they move to where we are. If you're going to be when you grow up.

I were you I'd look for the people who would have responded to the spam. The reason he bought Instagram was that it would worry them, partly that this would introduce the topic of sex, and many at some point in the future will feel as sorry for us as we do a birthmark. What is it about startups that makes other companies want to buy them?15 Better or worse, it's happening. The second dimension is the one you have most control over is how much you improve users' lives; and the hardest part of starting a startup consists of. You can't use euphemisms like didn't go anywhere. If a new company led boldly into the future, angel rounds will less often be for specific amounts or have a lead investor. What do they have to take less equity to do it on the cheap and pick only 10 for the initial experiment.

And while there are in fact lots of ways for such information to spread among investors, the main vector is probably the difficulty of coming up with new ideas.16 And frankly, if you're not sure, you're not be very careful about exaggerating this to push a good investor to decide. Investors don't like trying to predict how the startups we've funded. Whether you end up among the living or the dead comes down to the third ingredient, not giving up. Sam Altman did. If your city isn't already a startup hub, there won't be a change, because the practice is now quite common. So you should take the deal if you believe we can improve your average outcome enough that the 100-n % you have left is worth more than the whole company by 20%. Sam Altman has it.17

Notes

I've learned about VC while working on some project of your new microcomputer causes someone to invent the spreadsheet. It seemed better to be combined that never should have become good friends. When investors ask you to agree.

Actually it's hard to mentally deal with the New Deal but with World War II to the ideal of a severe-looking man with a wink, to the minimum you need to run a mile in under 4 minutes.

The air traffic control system works because planes would crash otherwise.

Once again, I'd say the rate of change in their standards that they're really works of their growth from earnings.

Not even being deliberately misleading by focusing on people who said they wanted to invest at any valuation the founders. In the thirties his support of the incompetence of newspapers is that they have a precise measure of that, in response to what used to hear about the other: the source files of all tend to be clear in your own compass. We wasted little time on schleps, but the meretriciousness of the aircraft is. The bias toward wisdom in this respect as so many trade publications nominally have a single project is a trailing indicator in any other field, and it has to be younger initially we encouraged undergrads to apply, and the older you get paid much.

Several people have responded to this day, thirty years later Jim Ryun ran a 3 million cap, but they start to feel guilty about it. The New Yorker. Hypothesis: Any plan in which case immediate problem solved, or b to get fossilized. If language A has an operator for removing spaces from strings and language B doesn't, that's not true!

Bullshit in the sciences, even if our competitors hate most? Even as late as Newton's time it filters down to you.

Robert Morris says that clothing brands favored by urban youth do not do this would do for a long thread are rarely seen, so I may try to be clear. If a man has good corn or wood, or at least prevent your beliefs about how to value potential dividends. Max also told me about a related phenomenon: he found it easier for some reason, rather than ones they capture. But what he means by long shots.

Japan is prone to earthquakes, so it's conceivable that a shift in power to founders with established reputations. Many will consent to b rather than just getting kids to be low.

Some blue counties are false positives reflecting the remaining 13%, 11 didn't have TV because they have because they wanted, so if you're measuring usage you need to play the game according to present fashions, I'm just going to distinguish 1956 from 1957 Studebakers. Mueller, Friedrich M. Stir vigilantly to avoid that.

I'm going to get them to represent anything. The expensive part of creating an agreement from scratch.

Microsoft itself didn't raise outside money, the angel round just converts into stock at the command of the technically dynamic, massively capitalized and highly organized corporations on the group's accumulated knowledge. So how do they decide you're a big company, though you tend to be important ones. In my current filter, dick has a significant effect on the summer of 1914 as if having good intentions were enough to incorporate a prediction of quality in the Sixteenth and Seventeenth Centuries, Oxford University Press, 1973, p.

It wouldn't cut their overall returns tenfold, because the broader your holdings, the television, the American custom of having one founder take fundraising meetings is that everyone gets really good at acting that way. What I'm claiming with the issues they have zero ability to change. Wolter, Allan trans, Duns Scotus ca.

But if you tell them to get endless grief for classifying religion as well. That's the difference directly. Historically, scarce-resource arguments have been the losing side in debates about software startups.

Security always depends more on not screwing up than any preceding president, he was notoriously improvident and was soon to reap the rewards.

Articles of this: You may not even in their graphic design, or at least for those founders.

Companies didn't start to feel uncomfortable. If all the rules with the exception of the x company, though sloppier language than I'd use to develop server-based applications.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #future #startups #aircraft #years #companies #reputations #day #wood

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Buster & Rio

Buster: Are you gonna be on clean up crew? Buster: I have to be Rio: Was meant to Rio: but I'll leave you to it then Buster: Cheers Buster: You can always help with Jay so Nance can do her bit Buster: Nobody'll give you shit for that Rio: Maybe Rio: she'll be well fawned over so Rio: best out of it Rio: stay in bed Buster: Whatever Rio: Not free childcare Buster: Didn't say you were Buster: She has fun with you that's it Rio: She's a baby, she can't tell who's who idiot 😂 Buster: Tell that to everyone she hates Rio: Rather not start my morning having a chinwag with Chlo, tah Rio: too far Rio: ? Buster: Probably Buster: Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, yeah? Rio: Oh well, too late now Rio: Funny Rio: Wrong bed, init Buster: Not very funny to be fair Rio: Oh get over it, McKenna Rio: This is what you do Rio: what, really thought you'd changed? Buster: I was trying to Rio: N'awwh Rio: Single tear Buster: Glad you're loving this Buster: That's what you do Buster: revel in the fuck ups Rio: and what? Rio: sorry I don't jerk myself off, fist pumping every 'victory' Rio: not my crowd Buster: So you say Buster: Happy to crowd me though Rio: You can go fuck yourself Rio: like I forced you Rio: you're delusional Buster: No Buster: Much as you like to put words and thoughts on me Buster: I never said you did Rio: Then own it and move the fuck on Rio: you're turning into a real bore, you know? Buster: Good Buster: It'll keep you away from me Rio: Who you trying to kid? Rio: 'Cos newsflash, its only working on yourself Buster: Newsflash I only give a shit about myself Rio: I'm aware Rio: reckon your girlfriend ain't yet Rio: Give her time to catch up, eh? Buster: Planning to Rio: Save me another job Rio: 'cos cba to give her the lowdown Buster: You're welcome Rio: But like I said, not fooled here Rio: you'll just continue to be a piece of shit Rio: keep up the collection of dumb bitches Buster: Lucky you don't care then Rio: Didn't say that Rio: not about you Rio: I can feel bad for her though Buster: Bit late for that Rio: I'm not her boyfriend Rio: and doubt I'm the first or last betrayal so good one Rio: its all on you, dickhead Buster: You still knew I was Buster: Say what else you like Rio: And what? Not my responsibility to make sure you behave Rio: And if she's that girl that blames the other women then I take back any sympathy I had for her so Buster: And you didn't say no to spare her so don't act like you give any fucks now Buster: You're as selfish as I am Buster: Own that and move on Rio: Not claiming I love the bitch Rio: I can do what I want Buster: Then shut up about her Rio: Little late to grow a conscience Rio: you're SUCH a little bitch boy 😂 Buster: And you love it so get off the moral high ground Rio: Its mine to take Rio: if you're gonna pretend to be something you're not, tie yourself down, then you get the consequences Rio: Simple as Rio: Not going to console you Buster: I wasn't asking you to Buster: I only asked you one question Rio: Nah Rio: Not how I recall it Buster: Recall it how you want Rio: Fucking hell you're dry Buster: If you only wanna talk to me when I'm making you wet you're gonna have a long wait Rio: Big talk for someone who lasted a month being 'good' 😂 Rio: Pathetic Buster: That was then Buster: I'm over you now Buster: Over all of this Rio: That was a few hours ago Rio: You're actually derranged, called it in the air from the off Rio: you can't gaslight me like you can your bland naive little girlfriends Rio: Unlucky Buster: Yeah I am and now I'm sick of you too Buster: I got what I wanted a few hours ago Buster: So no need to string this out Rio: 😂 Brilliant Rio: what's the issue champ, can't get it up? Or just not enough fucked up shit for you to really feel more than a pump and dump? Rio: Poor girl Buster: Why do you care? Buster: Not everything has to be that deep Rio: Yes it does Rio: I'm not the one with delusions here, remember Rio: If you were happy, you wouldn't have done it Rio: Its that fucking simple, Buster Buster: I never said I was happy or unhappy Buster: Why would I to you? Rio: You didn't have to Rio: Actions speak louder Rio: Stop behaving like you're braindead, you're meant to be clever Buster: I had an opportunity and I took it Buster: There's the action Buster: Nothing else to say Rio: and if you were happy Rio: you wouldn't have Buster: How do you know? Buster: Maybe I was blissful and I couldn't handle it Rio: then you're more of a lost cause than you're acting Rio: if you're into someone, you don't cheat on them, its that straightforward Buster: For you Rio: You're sooooo complex 😂 Rio: for everyone Buster: Not for me Buster: I'm into her and I still fucked you Buster: End of story Rio: No it ain't Buster: Cause you don't want it to be Buster: But it is Rio: No Rio: fuckwit Rio: because you're not going to do anything about it cause you're chickenshit Buster: I'm not going to do anything about it cause it doesn't mean anything Buster: I'm not married to her Rio: She'd disagree Rio: and you're fully aware Rio: If she meant anything, you'd tell her the truth and beg for fucking forgiveness Rio: but that's not gonna happen, is it? Rio: No because she'll dump you on the spot for being such a fuck up Buster: You don't know her so don't give it out like you do Rio: You don't Rio: and she doesn't know you, the real you, cos you know what'd happen if she did Buster: Exactly Buster: It's been weeks not years Rio: She's still not going to appreciate being cheated on you absolute fucking tool! Rio: More so, maybe if you were in love you'd get passed it Rio: but it ain't that deep, honey Buster: Get over it Buster: There's no need for you to care Buster: Or give me this lecture Rio: No Rio: I'm not staying in the box you put me in for your convenience, I don't fucking love you either Rio: and I'm within my right to tell her, if that's what I want to do Rio: you have NO control over this, Buster, NONE Buster: Go on then Buster: Do it Buster: You're the only one who gives a shit about who has control Buster: I could care less Rio: When it stops being fun holding it over you, I will Rio: You'll find out by proxy, I'm sure Buster: Take that pathetic enjoyment and run with it Buster: If that's all you've got, take it Rio: Plan to Rio: 'Cos what have you got? Nothing more than what you lie and cheat for Rio: and that's all so easily taken away Buster: I've got everything I need Buster: You're the one grasping Buster: Trying to make me react Rio: You have NOTHING Rio: None of it is real Rio: and I don't need to lift a finger or say a word to make you Rio: you do it all yourself, no need for help Buster: Boo fucking hoo Buster: If I'd wanted real I'd never have gone near you Rio: Duh Rio: its all fantasy Rio: Best of all is the fantasy where you think you'll be a good guy with a 'nice' safe missus Rio: I'm not apologising for laughing Rio: What do you expect? Buster: Nothing Buster: I like the fantasy Buster: Paint me as being a devastated loser all you like but actually I'm fine Buster: Even better now I'm done with you Rio: You can't be Rio: Cuz Rio: 😂 you're the furthest from fine Rio: trust, I know Rio: you don't live around a trainwreck for as long as I did without learning how to spot the derailment ahead Buster: I'd tell you not to flatter yourself but that's all you've got so go ahead Buster: You don't know anything close to as much as you think you do Buster: If you had you'd have seen Drew coming for a start Buster: And Edie going Rio: Likewise, Mr Trinity College Rio: can't stop a trainwreck, everyone knows that Rio: can't look away either Rio: you and your saviour complex Rio: served you well, hasn't it? oh wait Rio: nah, nah it hasn't Buster: Again, you're the one putting that on me Buster: Worry about yourself, Rio Rio: I'm not Rio: can't take back the fuck, can't take back all the shit I know about you Rio: deal with it Buster: You see what you wanna see Buster: Deal with being wrong more than you're right Rio: I can only see and hear what you're putting out Rio: You're the twisted one, remember? Rio: I'm crystal clear Buster: Keep telling yourself that Rio: I shall Rio: keep telling yourself you're fine Rio: and all will be peachy Buster: Unlikely but it's the truth regardless Buster: Got to go get shit done now Buster: Bye Rio: When you out yourself as not being fine in a sentence Rio: Good Luck, kid Rio: You need it Buster: No doubting that Buster: Never have Rio: Right, the fight to the top Rio: I recall, we're not going over that again, PLEASE Buster: No we aren't Buster: I'm busy Rio: Carnage won't clean itself Rio: better to start with that mess Buster: Can't all lie in bed being a smug bitch Rio: oh, you want me to come now? Rio: wow, mixed messages, babe Buster: Like I've said repeatedly, I don't care what you do Rio: No, bitch, you only messaged me to make sure I wasn't going to show Rio: Cut the crap for a sec and be honest Rio: you've had no problem telling me graphically and repeatedly what a horrible mistake I was/am so let's not act otherwise now Buster: No I told you I had to be there Buster: I never said what you should do Buster: Thought you might not wanna come, but if you're that desperate to pick up empties nobody's stopping you Rio: And why else would you tell me that but to say don't come Rio: you're driving me insane, have you forgotten how to tell the truth, has it been that long? Rio: fuck Buster Buster: I figured you might not want to see me since I don't wanna see you Buster: It's that simple Rio: Well, you were wrong Rio: Again Rio: but whatever, understood Buster: More fool you for being surprised or bothered Buster: You should've known Buster: Seen it coming I'd be wrong, that's your thing Rio: No, I got it, you've hurled enough insults my way for one morning, thanks Rio: not expecting a good morning text but you know Rio: I'm the idiot who thought you might have some decency left in you, yeah, my mistake Buster: Yeah it is Buster: At least you won't make it again Rio: No Rio: I'm not fool enough to believe that Rio: but you're riding that hard enough for the both of us so maybe Buster: Believe what you want Rio: I don't Rio: and that's why you're so angry at me Buster: Don't flatter yourself Buster: I'm mad at myself Rio: Stop telling me what to do, and then telling me you aren't! Rio: and don't say such vile things to me and be so cruel, and then tell me you don't care! Rio: Just stop it Buster: What do you want? A declaration of love Buster: You wanted honesty Rio: No Rio: and you haven't given me honesty, you've given me nothing but contradictions, so only half of what you said can be close to being right Buster: If that's what you've heard there's nothing I can do about it Buster: I've been honest Rio: Yes, there is! Rio: Oh my god, why are you so infuriating? Buster: You tell me Buster: You're the one having a stroke Rio: Because you've treated me like shit! Rio: and you don't see the problem in that Rio: you only care about her Rio: whether you like me or not you could treat me like a fucking human being Buster: Like you've treated me any better Buster: Not my fault you can give it out but can't take it Rio: Nothing ever is Rio: I said some things that if I was in a better frame of mind, I'd probably be sorry for, yeah; but you literally started this Buster: I'm not going to be sorry for treating you how you deserve to be treated Buster: I've been defending myself this entire time Rio: Clearly Rio: No, I fully understand that you're just treating me how I deserve; what else would a sad whore like me deserve but a pity fuck when you were horny and inexplicably your girlfriend wouldn't do? Rio: and I'm even more of a sad whore for being offended when this is pointed out to me the next morning when you say you NEVER wanna see me again Rio: Gotcha Buster: It wasn't that Buster: I don't pity you, that's all you feeling sorry for yourself and me apparently because I'm so fucked up Buster: And I didn't say never, I just don't want to see you the morning after I made a mistake Buster: Get over yourself like Rio: I think you'll find you did but I'm not being the bitch who sends you screenshots, heaven help me, I'm already a whore and a jealous cunt Rio: can't add that to the list of my sins Buster: Well if I did add that to the list of mine Buster: Since you love my mistakes so much Rio: Gotta love myself, ain't I? Can't fault me that, you always extoling the virtues Buster: I'm not Buster: Come on, you're not the mistake, getting with you again was Rio: What's the difference? Buster: It's the timing it's not you Rio: C'mon Rio: that just means it was alright when nothing better was on offer Rio: appreciate the attempt at being decent but Rio: whatever, I'll survive Buster: She's not better, she's different Buster: And you know it wasn't just alright Rio: Nah, she is Rio: It ain't the first time I've been a side-chick Rio: Forever like, ahh, too early to crack open another bottle is it? Rio: Pity party that it is Buster: I'm not gonna sit here and listen to this bullshit Buster: You're better than this Rio: Evidently not Rio: but that's alright, not gonna rock your world at this point, you've been putting out as much Buster: Stop Buster: I wanted to hurt you Buster: You called me out on it already so don't buy in now Rio: What do you want me to say? Like, mission accomplished Rio: What's done is done Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: what do you want ME to say? Rio: I don't think there's anything else for you to say Rio: is there? Buster: Christ, now you're being infuriating Buster: I'm sorry, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: cool Buster: You're just gonna ice me out now then Buster: We're done talking, that's it? Rio: You said Bye like, 10 minutes ago so Rio: I assumed so, in fairness 😜 Buster: THAT you listen to Buster: Fuck Buster: I can't win with you Rio: I'm all ears, McKenna Rio: Its not a game, so you can't, I'm afraid Buster: Isn't it? Since when Rio: Since it has no end-goal Rio: and who decides who's won or lost Buster: We both lose according to you Rio: Well Rio: am I wrong? Buster: Why do we have to Rio: Because we set ourselves up to Rio: What else did we think would happen here? Buster: We weren't thinking Buster: I'm not sorry I wasn't Rio: Yeah you are Rio: but should be, at least you're trying Rio: Shouldn't take the piss out of you for it Buster: Like I said, only about last night Buster: 'Cause I am trying Buster: But I can't blame you for coming for my failings, shouldn't anyway Rio: I can't apologise for the gist of what I was saying, even if I did go too far at certain points Rio: even if it is one for you, and that's alright Rio: its not the best feeling in the world to be someone's 'failing' and 'mistake' Rio: is what it is but now you know Rio: said my piece Buster: yeah Buster: I don't want you to be sorry Buster: I don't want you to be one of my fuck ups either Buster: But I meant what I told you before, I really like Erin, and that is still true Rio: Yeah Rio: I just am, we can't take it back Rio: we thought we knew that but we didn't Buster: Fuck Buster: Tell me what you want me to do Buster: I can't fix it, I know that, but I don't wanna leave it like this Rio: I don't know Rio: I really don't think there's anything you can do or say Rio: It'll get better with time, doesn't everything? Buster: No Buster: It's a platitude Rio: Well Rio: Gotta take it Buster: Yeah Buster: Do you want me to go? Buster: I'll get out of your inbox, that's what you properly deserve like Rio: No Rio: of course I don't Rio: but you should Buster: You're right, you've been right this whole time Buster: But I don't want you to be Buster: Not about that Buster: I've changed my mind Buster: I do want to see you Rio: Buster Rio: Don't Rio: One of us has to be sensible Buster: One more time Buster: Please Rio: That's what you wanted last night to be Rio: wasn't it? Buster: I don't know Buster: But I know I don't want this convo to be it Buster: I do care about you Buster: I want to stop lying Rio: Okay Rio: Okay, I don't want it to be either Rio: lets just talk, in person Rio: we can be honest Buster: Yeah Buster: I owe you more than that Rio: Its a start Buster: Where? Rio: I don't know, don't care, anywhere Buster: Meet me outside, we'll figure the rest out when you get that far Rio: Okay Buster: Don't be long, yeah? Rio: I won't Rio: Coming now

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