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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

#bnha 323 #uraraka ochako #rat principal #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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cherrywoes · 3 years

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cuddle headcanons. (ft. diluc and kaeya.)

title: cuddle headcanons

characters: diluc and kaeya (separate.)

fandom: genshin impact

requests: open.

rating: nice and fluffy

a/n: thank you @sullen-angel24! i'm glad to see you in my ask box dear! <3 istg kaeya's was throwing me for a loop so i went with my best interpretation of his personality and in-game actions thus far. i'm a kaeya main and i struggle to write him smh. anyway! i hope you enjoy it! <3

diluc: cuddle headcanons

i feel like diluc would be one of those people who are intentionally a little skittish around intimate contact of any kind, but secretly loves it on the inside,,,

like there are only so many ways he can express his emotions through his words, usually which come out either wrong or not quite what he meant, so he can convey his emotions better through small actions, whether that be a hug or something else *wink wonk*

but on a more serious note, i do believe diluc is an actions over words kind of guy. he values actions over words, at least, because they mean more to him than anything you could say in the long run.

so cuddling with diluc would more than likely be a "behind close doors" affair, so to speak, he isn't fond of public affection and would much prefer it to be on his terms in a place where he feels safe.

that said!

cuddling with diluc is like cuddling with a heater. it can be comfy, depending on the weather (dragonspine) or it can be absolutely awful depending on the heat (mondstadt or liyue), but either way, the man runs pretty hot on a regular basis due to his abilities, so cool clothing--or none at all--is a must.

diluc very rarely wears much of anything because of it (this is if nighttime cuddles are a thing) so you'd have to be comfortable with an unusual amount of skinship with him. at first he might be a little wary and wear clothes, for propriety's sake, but would quickly grow weary of the whole thing and be as comfortable as possible.

since diluc has strong upper body strength (he has to, being a claymore wielder) he has a rather firm grip when it comes to holding you to his chest. it is pleasant and comfortable, not too hard and not too loose, but just enough to where you can feel comforted and protected--which is the goal.

if you are ever in distress, tired, sad, or anything at all, you can always track down diluc at the dawn winery and know he'll be ready to offer cuddles at a moment's notice, but only because it's you.

play with his hair. do it. he says he doesn't like it but he does. do it when he turns his back to you and just cuddle him from behind and run your fingers through his scalp, twist his hair into braids, muse it thoroughly--he'll be much more compliant and at ease than if you hadn't.

his favorite cuddling position is when he's on his back and you're snuggled right up to his side, resting your cheek somewhere between his shoulder and chest and a leg thrown over his hips, comfortable and leisurely. especially in the mornings, when neither of you have nowhere to go immediately and can just sit and bask in each other's presence.

his second favorite would probably be face to face but it's rare that it happens because he'd much prefer the first. he enjoys just flicking his gaze over your face if you've fallen asleep, or just staring into your eyes in general if you're awake, feeling as if his stare alone could convey the many words he would never say.

at the end of the day, diluc is a pretty soft boi with a fairly rough background so handle his heart with care please!

kaeya: cuddle headcanons

the opposite of diluc, i think kaeya would be opposed to any kind of skinship--for the most part. while he certainly appreciates a good hug or pat on the shoulder here and there, he's averse to contact for extended periods of time lasting longer than maybe a few minutes.

he is able to express himself more thoroughly with his words, i believe, than his actions, because his actions can be easily misconstrued, as past actions indicate. *cough* so he much prefers verbal affirmations to physical ones, but however, if the traveler (yourself) is more skewed towards physical affection, he supposes he can't complain, since it's you, after all.

with kaeya, you would have to start out small; lingering touches, never fully encompassing or heavy, but light and delicate. get him used to your extended presence, so to speak, and he'll be more inclined to be touchier because, despite what he says or indicates with body language, he does crave that interaction with you even if his mind vehemently opposes it.

in a compromise, he'll sit as close to you as possible, but the rest will ultimately be up to you.

cuddling with kaeya, at first, is a bit of an awkward thing. he isn't sure what he wants, so he tries to do what is natural--deflect with flirtatious comments and fond words, distracting you from his uncomfortableness, but you see right through it.

over time, as he grows more accustomed to it, he grows clingier, even going as far as cuddling you in public spaces. the knights of favonius' hq has never known him to be as close as he is to you at any given time.

if he's working late and refuses to come home, you can easily wedge yourself into his lap on his chair and cuddle him that way, which is counterproductive since he can't resist when you do that.

because he runs quite cool, being a cryo user, he's the best to have during mondstadt heatwaves or impromptu trips to liyue. he sleeps with several blankets so if you end up having a cuddle session before bed, either wear cool clothes or be prepared to sleep naked (not that he would mind). *wink wink nudge nudge*

he's a blanket hoarder and collects blankets. you can't persuade me otherwise. i will die on this hill.

in an interesting turn, he doesn't like his hair played with, but he will play with yours, although not in the neat and pretty designs you probably would. usually it ends up knotted and matted worse than before if you came off of a mission, because while his touch is playful, it more than often comes with disastrous consequences.

his favorite position is cuddled up behind you, as close as he can be, with an arm under your head and another wrapped around your waist, his hand close to your heart. you can either hold that hand or reach up and stroke your fingers down his arm and he'll be happy. bonus points if you twine your legs together with his, he loves that.

his second favorite is less of a cuddle and more of a bear hug; specifically, more like a koala hug. it's less of an intimacy thing and more of a "i enjoy being greeted this way" thing, especially if he's the one coming back from a lengthy trip or mission. just leap on him and hold tight with your arms and legs (don't kill the poor bby tho) and he feels loved and appreciated and actually wants to return to you than mondstadt.

kaeya, when all is said and done, yearns for affection and affirmation, so be careful with him; he does, despite what he claims, breaks easily.

#genshin impact #headcanons #diluc headcanons #kaeya headcanons #diluc x reader #diluc x traveler #kaeya x reader #kaeya x traveler #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact kaeya

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drowningbydegrees · 4 years

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As it turns out, falling into bed with your very best friend who you are privately very much in love with isn't nearly so nerve wracking as waking up with them the morning after.

Read on AO3

He can’t remember the last time waking up was a remotely soothing experience. Geralt’s sleep muzzy mind has no other word for the body plastered against his front from shoulder to hip, the steady heartbeat against his palm where his hand is splayed out across someone’s chest. His nose is tucked against the nape of someone’s neck, and the scent is far too familiar to be jarring.

“Jaskier,” he rumbles quietly, his mouth miles ahead of the rest of him. The quiet, absent pleasure of waking up tangled with someone who smells sleepy and content and like they’re his leaves no room for reason. There’s no room for anything really, except to press a kiss to whatever patch of skin he can find, savoring the soft sigh it earns him.

Jaskier is… The night before rushes back to him, and Geralt almost jerks away, even though it would be entirely pointless to bother with that now. He cracks an eye open and is met with the disaster that Jaskier’s hair, mussed in the night by sleep, and by Geralt’s fingers buried in it before that. Even as worry begins to creep in, he sort of wants to do it again.

This isn’t the first time they’ve shared a bed. This probably isn’t even the hundredth time they’ve shared a bed. This is most definitely the first time they’ve done so with so little clothing between them, none to be exact. There’s only the blanket tucked around them both, warm and lovely and unexpectedly distressing.

Geralt isn’t sorry, per se. Jaskier’s chest rises and falls under Geralt’s palm in the slow rhythm of sleep. It’s the loveliest thing Geralt can remember waking up to, and therein lies the problem. An emotion fed only grows, and this unruly, sprawling affection is the worst offender. Stupidly, Geralt had thought getting this out of his system would quell it, but the longing reaches a fever pitch instead.

Jaskier is beautiful, all the more so for the way he shifts in his sleep, closing the gap Geralt has tried to put between them. Geralt could happily wake like this every day for the rest of his life, but it isn’t a fair thing to ask of someone who flits from one love to the next like a butterfly between flowers. He will not trap Jaskier in this just because he happens to be besotted. Somehow, the resolve not to try to keep this does nothing to ease the guilt welling up that he wants to in the first place.

Nothing Jaskier said the night before conveyed meaning beyond a playful desire to tumble into bed together. Moving the target now would only be cruel. He should be rolling out of bed, hastening them back to normal. He should be proving that this has done nothing to harm their friendship. It isn’t Jaskier’s fault, after all, the way Geralt wants to breathe him in and kiss him senseless and forget the rest of the world until the innkeeper boots them out.

“Geralt?” Jaskier startles the witcher from his worries, wriggling impossibly closer and laying a palm over his knuckles. “You okay?”

“Thinking,” Geralt replies vaguely.

“Well, don’t hurt yourself,” Jaskier teases, still warm and lethargic with sleep. Geralt almost manages to take advantage of the levity of the moment and extricate himself, but before he can, Jaskier rolls over so they’re nearly nose to nose. His fingers cradle Geralt’s cheek and any attempt to escape now would just be graceless. “What about?”

Geralt doesn’t know how to answer, so he only hums noncommittally and hopes Jaskier will let it lie. Of course, Jaskier being Jaskier, does no such thing. He takes advantage of the change in positions to tangle his legs up with Geralt. “I can’t tell you to knock it off if you don’t tell me what it is.”

“We should get going.” Geralt tries once more to escape, frowning when Jaskier shows no sign of releasing him. It’s silly of course. Jaskier couldn’t hope to hold him here if Geralt was set on leaving. He just can’t actually make himself do it.

“Was it that bad a night?” It’s an easy opening, an invitation to stray back to their usual banter, but Geralt gets no further than a raised eyebrow before Jaskier is clasping a hand over the witcher’s mouth. “Wait. Don’t answer that or I might have to smother you with a pillow and that’ll just be unfortunate for both of us.”

Right there, with Jaskier smiling at him, Geralt can almost believe they’re going to survive this. Almost, but almost still leaves a distance he cannot cross. As soon as Jaskier pulls his hand back from Geralt’s mouth, the witcher opens it. “They’re not going to let us sleep in forever.”

“They might if I convince them to let me play again this evening. We could move on tomorrow,” Jaskier ventures, but something in Geralt’s face must give him pause. “Oh do not look at me like that. The world isn’t going to end just because you stop to take a breath once in a while, Geralt.”

“That’s not…” Geralt starts, but he doesn’t know how to finish. There are no words that convey the razor wire sensation of facing down the impermanence of Jaskier’s affections, of realizing how deeply his own feelings run far too late.

“Shh.” Geralt knew what to do with impulse, with Jaskier’s mouth crashing into his, with Jaskier’s hands scrabbling at him to shed his clothes. He doesn’t know what to do with the tender, intentional way Jaskier regards him this morning, lips pressing to the witcher’s brow and lingering afterwards. Does it mean something, or does Jaskier grant all his lovers this subdued, aimless devotion? Lust was so much simpler than this aching sort of affection that puts down roots even as Geralt tries to burn it away.

Geralt doesn’t precisely surrender, but he resigns himself to the lazy attention Jaskier is so determined to lavish on him. If he lets Jaskier turn him away later instead of now, there will be at least this one pleasant thing to remember. So he doesn’t complain at Jaskier’s fingers combing through his hair, or the bard’s body pressed warmly to his. If every touch feels like a harbinger of their demise, it’s still hard to let go of.

He almost passes things off as okay, he thinks, until Jaskier kisses him. It’s a brief thing, immediately withdrawn. “Geralt?”

If realizing the hopeless situation he’s stumbled into was uncomfortable, the idea of talking about it is nothing short of torture.

“Well, you haven’t shoved me out of bed yet, so you’re not mad. Talk to me,” Jaskier coaxes, his expression so openly concerned and affectionate, Geralt could scream.

“It’s no-” Geralt starts, but Jaskier shut him up with a theatrically sour look.

“I swear if you say nothing,” Jaskier threatens aimlessly, an easy smile on his lips, but underneath, Geralt can hear the way his anxious heart threatens to vibrate right out of his chest.

“I don’t know what this is,” Geralt admits because that, at least, is safe. It’s nothing about how he feels in relation to anything. It’s nothing about the want that simmers under the surface despite his guilt.

Jaskier’s brows scrunch in a way that would be endearing if the entire ordeal didn’t feel so fraught already. “I don’t think I follow. I mean, I know having a conversation isn’t your usual wheelhouse, but it’s not exactly a foreign concept.”

“Not. That.” Geralt bites the words out, tight and clipped while he gathers his frayed nerves enough to explain. “You’re not in the habit of keeping people. I don’t know what you want.”

For just a second, Jaskier looks like he’s been struck and Geralt wants desperately to take the whole thing back. But the bard’s expression smooths out and then twists up in a wry smile. “Of course I don’t. What would I even do? Drag someone else along on our travels?”

There’s a point Jaskier is making. It’s right there. He knows it is, but it eludes Geralt anyway. “You could have stayed somewhere if there was someone you wanted to stick around for.”

Jaskier laughs, just a giggle at first, and then so hard that even his efforts to bury his face against Geralt’s shoulder do nothing to stifle it. “You are absolutely right. I could fall completely and utterly in love with someone and choose to stick around.”

“I don’t see how that’s funny,” Geralt says flatly, staring at the far wall of their room. The urge to curl around Jaskier and forget the whole stupid conversation in strong, and maybe he’d have been better off doing that in the first place, but he doesn’t surrender to it.

“Well, you’re one of the smartest people I know, so these moments where you decide to be an absolute idiot happen to be hilarious,” Jaskier teases. The bard must take pity, because his palm slides to cradle Geralt’s jaw, and Jaskier puts himself right at eye level where the witcher can’t look away. “Don’t you realize? I fell in love with someone, and I chose to stick around. It happened ages ago.”

Geralt has long since given up on trying to anticipate what Jaskier will say to any given prompt, but that is… somehow not even on the same continent as anything he might have expected. “What?”

“You really are determined to make this as difficult and stressful for me as possible, aren’t you?” Jaskier asks. There’s a tightness around his eyes when he looks at Geralt, leaving the witcher with the awful realization that Jaskier must be flying as blind as he is. He’s probably as unsure of Geralt’s intent as Geralt is of his. And yet… “I chose you, you ridiculous man. I always choose you.”

That… that explains a lot, actually. Geralt swallows thickly as Jaskier’s nose bumps against his. “Why didn’t you ever say?”

“Ah yes. ‘Hello my very dear emotionally… hampered witcher who will sometimes, on a very good day, admit that we are friends. Would it it complicate things overly much if I also happened to be completely, utterly in love with you?’” Jaskier huffs out a helpless, almost panicky sort of laugh. “Tell me Geralt, is there any time in the last few years where that would have gone well?”

Years? Now, confronted with the full force of it, Geralt isn’t sure how he even missed it last night, let alone for so long. Now that he knows it’s always been a bit painfully obvious. And much as he’d like to, he can’t really argue against Jaskier’s point that it probably wouldn’t have gone well to say so. “What changed?”

Jaskier sighs in that dramatic, overdone way he tends to when he’s being asked what he thinks is an exceedingly silly question. “You did.”

“Hmm.” Geralt doesn’t comment and Jaskier doesn’t press for further conversation. It’s peaceful, this thing blossoming between them, now that his most immediate concerns have been silenced.

That Jaskier laid his heart on the line and asked for nothing back isn’t lost on Geralt though. The words catch and stick on his throat, so Geralt writes them into the tender way he traces the curve of Jaskier’s spine with his fingertips. He presses them against Jaskier’s lips, jaw, throat with lazy, lingering kisses.

“So tell me-” Jaskier starts, the words interrupted by a soft sigh as Geralt’s thumb skims the divot of his hip. It’s an unmistakably promising sound all by itself, even ignoring that delightful way Jaskier presses into the touch. He finishes his thought, but it’s unmistakably breathless. “What are you thinking now?”

The recognition that this isn’t some fluke settles warmly around him. This could be always. There are so few things a witcher really keeps, but for now he’s willing to entertain the notion that this might be one of them.

“I’m thinking…” Geralt mumbles against the side of Jaskier’s neck, delighting in the way the bard’s fingers tangle in his hair and tug. “That maybe we’ll leave tomorrow.”

#geralt of rivia #Jaskier #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #gerlion #the witcher #my fic #They're both dumb and I love them #They may not have been remotely related to what I meant to write this month #But hey I posted stuff three days in a row and it's not even Nano month yet

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jenstar1992-2 · 3 years

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I’ve been having a rough week, and it only gonna get worse. Could you please write a comfort fic where Ahsoka tells the reader she’s proud of them? I really need it this week. Thank you

My dear Anon, I’m sorry you’re having a rough time (and I’m so sorry it took me this long to get this posted) 🥺. I hope this can be a source of comfort for you, even if only a small one, and I hope things get better for you. 💕

Also, I went with Rebels Ahsoka for this one, I hope that’s okay.

The Comfort of a Friend

Pairing: Ahsoka x reader (platonic)

Warnings: Accidental self- injury (nothing major), self- doubt, self- blame, talk of war, mentions of war related losses, brief mention of scars, mentally stressed reader (Ahsoka to the rescue 😄)

Word count: 1,742

The door hissed as you entered your private quarters, what followed was a loud clattering of objects hitting the durasteel floor of the ship as you kicked over the metal box that contained your various tools, causing them to go flying and scatter across its surface. You muttered a quiet curse as a sharp pain ran through your foot and up your leg; perhaps that hadn’t been the best choice of action, then again, none of your actions lately had been “good choices”, at least, that’s how it felt.

You let out a heavy sigh as you made your way to your bunk, limping slightly as you attempted to lessen the pressure on your dully throbbing foot, and let yourself fall onto its soft surface. You laid there for a good minute before finally sitting up, only to then slump forward, holding your head in your hands as you contemplated your situation, something you’d done a lot of lately.

No one said joining the rebellion would be easy, you knew it wouldn’t be, you’d expected it to be hard. What you hadn’t expected was just how incredibly frustrating and emotionally taxing it would be. You felt as if every win, big or small, came with an even worse defeat, to the point where, at the end of the day, it didn’t feel like a win at all. You gave your all, you all did, and what did it get you? More scars, and less friends, that’s what. You were at your wits end, feeling as if you were reaching the very edge of your sanity, just short of falling, knowing it wouldn’t take much more to send you tumbling over. You felt heat rising to your face as you desperately fought back the tears that threatened your eyes. This wasn’t going to get any easier, and in the recesses of your mind, a thought lingered, lightly poking at your consciousness, “Should I just give up?”

Before you could dwell on this idea any longer, there was a knock at your door. You straightened, composing yourself as best you could, and called for them to come in.

The door then hissed open to reveal your ally and closest friend, who regarded you with a warm smile.

“Hey”, Ahsoka greeted you, voice gentle, careful. Could she sense your distress, was she worried she might hit a nerve with one wrong word? Most likely.

“Hey”, you greeted back, the word coming out in a sigh as you let your guard down; she’d see right through your façade anyway.

She moved into the room, letting the door slide shut behind her, and came to sit beside you.

“Wanna talk about it”, she asked.

“Not sure it’ll change anything.”

She shrugged. “Maybe not, but it might help, voicing your troubles, gets things off your chest, and lightens the burden on the mind”, she said, lightly tapping your temple with her index finger.

You meet her gaze and see that she still wears that same warm smile, the one she wore every time you two had a heart-to-heart, the one that made you feel cared for. You decide to take her suggestion and you let the burdens weighing on your mind flow from you, one after the other.

“I just, I feel like such a screw-up. It seems like all I do is make bad decisions, ones that cost more than just my own safety, and with every wrong choice I make, I lose more; more hope, more friends, more of my own sanity… more of myself. I feel like all we do is give for this rebellion, but we get nothing in return, just more pain and hardship, and I can’t help but feel responsible for our failures. I’m no leader, never have been”, you said, pausing for a minute as you tried to sort your thoughts. Ahsoka waited patiently, not wanting to say anything until she knew you were done.

“I don’t know, maybe… maybe it would be better if I left, I’m not sure if I’m cut out for this”, you finally said, finishing your train of thought.

Ahsoka regarded you for a long moment before she finally spoke.

“(Y/N), I know this is hard, and I know things feel pretty hopeless right now, but I promise you, they will get better. It might not seem like it now, but victory doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time, and a great deal of effort, effort I see you put in every single day. You might not see your prowess as a leader, but I do, and so does every other person who’s fought by you, they put their trust in you because they see your dedication to the cause, they know you want to free the galaxy just as much as they do, and they know you’ll do what it takes to make that a reality. It’s an attribute they respect”, she said, confidence thick in her tone.

You furrowed your eyebrows, your inner thoughts fighting her encouragement within the confines of your mind.

“Tell that to the ones that didn’t make it back, the ones I let down because of my misguided choices, the ones I…”

“Stop”, Ahsoka said, her voice becoming firm as she cut your sentence short. “Loss is a part of war, a sad truth, but true nonetheless; they knew that, and they still chose to fight, because they believed in what we’re fighting for. Those losses are not on you, those people, they weren’t blind to the dangers they faced, they knew the risks, as do we, because we’re the ones taking those risks right alongside them, we’re with them, every step of the way, don’t forget that.”

You sighed; she was right, you were facing the same dangers as any one of the rebels under your command, and it could’ve just as easily been you who didn’t return, you’d just gotten lucky. You knew you were being overly hard on yourself, but as time went on it was getting more difficult not to, you couldn’t help but feel responsible, even if it was for things out of your control.

“I know, it’s just hard, and it only seems to be getting harder. It’s difficult to look at things optimistically when it feels like the whole galaxy is crumbling down around you. It’s hard to keep going when it feels like you’re getting nowhere”, you told her, leaning forward to rest your head in one of your hands.

“I understand”, Ahsoka said as she placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, moving it gently so you turned back to face her. “But I know you can do it, you’re more capable than you give yourself credit for.”

You raised a quizzical brow at her words, your expression earning a chuckle from the woman.

“I’m serious”, she affirmed. “I’ve seen you do countless things I’m sure you thought you couldn’t; impressed me many a time.”

You noticed her gaze didn’t waver, the only thing it conveyed was complete belief in the words she spoke. She gave you her familiar warm smile once again and you found yourself smiling back, albeit a bit weakly.

“Really?”

“Really”, she confirmed, giving a single nod to emphasize her response. “Try not to let your self-criticisms get the better of you, okay? You can acknowledge your successes just as much as your defeats.” She paused, speaking again only after you nodded your understanding. “You’ve done well, I’m proud of you (Y/N).”

Her words tugged at your heart and had the small smile you displayed growing wider and more genuine.

“Thanks, Ahsoka, that means a lot”, you said, your tone conveying just how touched you were by her words. She then pulled you in for a hug, her hold strong and affirming, but still gentle in nature; you gave just as much to the embrace, attempting to demonstrate your appreciation and love for your friend through this wordless action.

“Any time”, she said, releasing you moments later, rising from the bunk and moving towards the door, but not before giving your hand one final comforting squeeze. She touched the keypad, opening the door, but stopped before fully exiting. She turned to face you; eyebrow raised in a playful manner.

“Meditation”, she said simply.

Your face scrunched up in confusion. “Huh?”

“Meditation”, she repeated. “I’ve felt a lot of stress on your mind lately, it gets pretty loud in there”, she explained, pointing to your head. “I think a little mindful meditation is just what you need, help you sort out your thoughts, quiet things down a bit”, she suggested.

You huffed an amused laugh.

“Yeah, not sure how effective that’ll be, not even sure I’ll be able to do it right, I’m no jedi, after all.”

Ahsoka shook her head and laughed.

“(Y/N), you don’t have to be a jedi to meditate, you simply have to sit, clear your mind, and look inward, take control of your own thoughts for a while, trust me, it’s easier than it sounds”, she explained.

“Uh huh”, you said, not fully convinced.

“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it”, she said with a grin and a shrug.

“Whatever you say”, you replied, still smiling.

You said your goodbyes and soon you were once again alone. You smiled to yourself as Ahsoka’s comforting words echoed in your mind. You were truly grateful to her, she always knew how to help you, always seemed to know what you needed, so maybe, she was right about this too.

You sat up straight, folded your legs, and rested your hands atop your knees, rolling your eyes after doing so; you felt a bit ridiculous humoring this notion, but you trusted Ahsoka, so, you closed your eyes, and attempted to clear your mind.

Nothing happened at first, but you kept at it, and soon enough you felt yourself drifting, it felt like falling into that place between sleeping and waking, but you knew that wasn’t where you were going, rather you were going inward, and you soon found yourself inside your own head, mingling with and sorting through your inner thoughts.

This went on for a good while before you finally felt comfortable enough to bring yourself back to the surface, falling back on the soft cushioned surface of your bunk once you’d done so. In that moment, you realized the feeling you had was one you’d almost come to forget, a true sense, of peace.

#ahsoka x reader #platonic pairing #star wars fanfiction #rebels fanfic #comfort fic #request #sending positive vibes your way Anon #ahsoka tano #star wars #star wars rebels

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hinagamoizaf · 3 years

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Odaiba Memorial Day 2021

My first Odaiba Memorial Day while being an active part of the fandom, and it’s high time I write an essay about my crackhead obsession with Yakari.

(*There will be some swearing & f-bombs in this post) As a kid, Yamato was like the ‘blue and cooler Taichi’ to me, like he doesn’t exist without being adjacent to the gogglehead. Also my family didn’t have the full Dark Masters arc in our CD collection, so I literally knew nothing about Yams’ emotional meltdown. But now, I adore this overly sensitive dork, and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way. Maybe I’m biased in this reading, but I think Yamato has had to push himself to mature faster than his peers; and he’s very much a mini-adult at a young age. For all these grand monster battles, the main cast are still children; among them Yamato is a kid dealing with a lot of unresolved issues but he’s got a lot of heart, he’s passionate about those he holds dear but he just doesn’t know how to process this. Another thing that goes hand-in-hand with Yamato is the fact he’s a musician. Again, I could be reaching way into my ass here; but there’s this mumbo jumbo real life idea of the ‘depressed creative’, and Yamato works his way out of that dangerously romanticised label. The kid’s got a passion for music, he’s literally been playing the harmonica since Takeru was in diapers .Without spoiling DA:LEK, Yamato still holds onto that flame into adulthood but it’s not something he can actively work on; and that takes its toll. I love Yamato because he’s someone who cares so much about those around him and what he does; and he’s just a kid who’ sorting things out and wanting to better himself and well fuck, if that isn’t relateable. Even with the flaws that the Tri films have, I think it’s a natural progression for Yamato’s character journey. I see people saying how ‘they just turned him into a tsundere’ or ‘he’s so snappish now’. But seeing as most of the Tri cast are in High School and general teenagers are assholes to each other, yeah it’s not unreasonable to see why Yamato’s the way he is now. He didn’t lose his touch with the Crest of Friendship; when the literal world is up in flames, there’s still the same loyal and compassionate Yamato who understands the importance of being there for and with his friends. Yamato’s a big mushy boy who has a hard time conveying what he feels and his needs; Hikari isn’t any better and this was how I grew to love the concept of them being together. She’s not the Chosen Child of Light for nothing, Hikari’s symbiotic partnership with Tailmon is a very shoehorned metaphor of being an angel from Heaven and I absolutely eat that shit up. Fans have pointed out Hikari’s so mysterious with her role and powers as late member of the team, the same can be said for her personality. You see Hikari, you think ‘sweet, little girl’ and in part thanks to the 02 dub, she grows into being this sassy brat.

A brat who has trouble asserting herself and is prone to literally get dragged into an ocean of depression. Like any respectful human, Hikari cares for her friends and family; but a mixture of that and a tendency to devalue herself is Hikari’s fatal flaw. She’s too self-sacrificing to a fault, and this reflects the other extreme end of her crest. In my own overly pretentious words, I think Hikari has self-imposed on herself for ‘being the light of the team’; like she carries herself as a doll whose job is to bring others out of darkness when she’s still stuck in the shadows herself. Hikari doesn’t allow herself to verbalise her wants, let alone her needs because she doesn’t want to inconvenience others; she just goes with the flow and puts on a mask of toxic optimism.

I am aware this analyse could be me scraping the bottom of the barrel, but it’s how I interpreted Yamato and Hikari’s character; and now I’ll articulate my brain rot with how the fuck are these two being shipped.

You have these two people who already have this history and experience of being Chosen Children, but there’s also an underlying sub-connection of them being each other’s brothers’ best friend. As many Yakari fanfics have headcanon, it’s not unreasonable to think that Yamato’s at the Yagamis’ apartment frequently because A) Taichi is his best friend and B) The Ishida apartment is prolly empty ‘cause Hiroaki’s out being a workaholic. The Yagamis become the family that Yamato didn’t have growing up, and they welcome him with open arms. At their apartment, things are warm and rowdy, he doesn’t have to be alone with his thoughts and they treat him as a second son. Listen, I've been a diehard Takari shipper too, but I genuinely think Takeru and Hikari can be platonic soulmates. They know each other like the back of their hand, they’re cosmically entwined and their Digimon are in sync; they’re also legit a pair of best friends too. I know early 2000’s fics depict Yakari as being this big drama; but I have a weak heart and I’m here to say Yakari can be cosy and comforting and they’re just two idiots in love who need to be honest with each other.

I imagine their courtship not to be this grand display of fireworks and ‘the chase’, but a very subtle experience with slow burn. For me, Yakari is very much the first blossom of spring. They represent new beginnings and youth, the gentle lull of Mother Nature tending to the earth, something that’s natural but the routine has existed for centuries. Yakari is very much a gentle love, and with everything I’ve said about their characters; these two learn to embrace and nurture the other until they have a whole garden of spring’s blossoms.

This crackship has the surface-layer appeal of ‘brooding lone wolf’ and ‘sweet angel’, so when you peel the layers to find these two very private characters who just need that one-on-one reassurance/affirmation; this ship is a warm blanket of fluff and yes that’s basically the plot of my fics. It’s the charm of slice-of-life, the endearment of growing and improving yourself with the one you love with the occasional reminder that this is a series founded on puppies evolving into angels.

I’ve had enough of tragedies and melodramatic love affairs. I write about Yakari because as cliche as this sounds, I want more stories about ‘the light of friendship’. Yes that was a god awful line, but it captures why I have brain rot for this pair. To celebrate my first OMD, I have uploaded a special chapter on my AO3 fic titled ‘Mon ange’; it wouldn’t be August 1st if I didn’t half-hazardly work on this leading up to the big day. It couldn’t fit on Instagram, but this rambling piece is part of a bigger essay on my tumblr, so that’s also up and running. I hold Digimon near and dear to my heart, and I go about sharing that love by gushing about Yakari.

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astaroth1357 · 4 years

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(Yes, I still have more requests but I need a creativity break. This has been in my drafts for a while so I share it with you now)

How to Comfort Your Demon Boyfriend

Have Some Sympathy for the Devil...

Demons are amoral beings by nature. This lack of natural empathy and ethical restraint can make them appear to be heartless, but nothing is farther from the truth. In fact, your beloved hellspawn can feel happiness and love just as well as you can but that also means they can experience sadness too... When this happens it’s only natural to want to cajole your lover back to high spirits, but this task can be easier said than done. For cases when your demon has taken up sorrow, our guide How to Comfort Your Demon Boyfriend is here to help! This volume will offer you some of the best advice on the market for how to bring your demon back to happiness as any lover would want to do. With our help, you should see that frown lift right off your partner’s face just like when they torment the beings left for eternal damnation, guaranteed!

Lucifer

Lucifer will not want to make his sorrow known to you at first. He prefers to present an image of power and composure which in his mind goes against the vulnerability sadness can bring. You will have to be mindful and watch out for changes in his behavior.

If he is: avoiding your presence, working even more than usual, being stricter on others, emotionally distant, isolating himself, or listening to an inordinate amount of classical music it may be time to intervene.

Engage Lucifer on this only when he is alone. This won’t be too difficult as he will likely be avoiding people anyway.

Approaching Lucifer on a matter this sensitive should be done with caution and great care. You have very little room for error. If you make a gaff or try to speak to him in a way he deems belittling, then he may shut you out further and then you’re back at square one.

Do you best to convey concern, compassion, and sincerity. In your mind you should not be speaking to the Avatar of Pride right now. You should be approaching someone very dear to you whom you can tell is hurting.

If Lucifer is not ready to speak, he will try to console you but give you no concrete answers for his behavior. This is normal, and a tad frustrating, but not a complete shutdown. You can wait for a time (at least overnight) and then try again.

Do not interrogate him. He may not feel comfortable divulging why he's upset just yet. Simply tell him what you’ve noticed about his behavior and express concern.

When Lucifer is finally ready to tell you what has him so gloomy, take care to listen intently. He may only admit this once.

Once the information is out in the open, assess what can be done and what advice you can offer. Lucifer isn’t one to speak idly about his problems, he will likely be seeking some kind of actionable guidance more than a willing ear. Offer all suggestions empathetically, with the understanding that he values your opinion even if he doesn't take your advise.

A new plan of action will likely soothe him the most, but if he still appears to be troubled after your discussion you can offer him further relaxation options: tea, a hot bath, more classical music, pleasant conversation, etc.

Now that he’s let you in, he shouldn’t begrudge your presence anymore so remain with him for as long as you feel is necessary. To some extent, Lucifer needs solitude to sort out his thoughts but he’s not the best at doing the same for his emotions. Remind him, gently, that some battles take two to win.

Mammon

If Mammon is upset, you’re probably going to know about it. Where Lucifer is reserved and secretive, Mammon is overt and transparent. He may not mean to be but it is what it is. He wears his heart on his sleeve.

Signs that Mammon may be in distress include: avoidance to particular topics, unconvincing denial, crying, clinginess, impulsivity, and, in extremes, desperation.

If Mammon is upset he will naturally gravitate to you for comfort. This certainly makes your task easier so long as you pick up on the signs quickly.

Physical closeness will do wonders for easing his mood. If you’re alone, I’d suggest holding him in some way but doing so in public may make him too embarrassed to actually enjoy your comfort. If you’re with others, allow him to hold you.

Get him talking. It won’t be very difficult, so just let him air out what the problem is. He may just need to complain about a bad day or some unfair treatment and that’s totally fine. Offer him a sympathetic ear.

After he’s done speaking, assess where his mood is now. If he still seems particularly gloomy, it may be the time to deploy other measures to bring him back to happiness.

Affection and humor are the best methods to use when dealing with a sad Mammon. Make a joke at the expense of whoever/whatever is troubling him then take the time to remind him of something positive about himself or your bond. He won’t accept these compliments verbally (but he won’t want you to stop them either).

If even this is not enough (and you’re feeling generous), you can offer to take him shopping or out to eat on your expense. Be warned that he will NEVER refuse this offer and you best have the funds to cover his (immense) expenses. Grimm can’t buy you happiness, but if you’re Mammon it comes very, very close.

Leviathan

Chances are if Levi is sad it’s due to an insecurity of some kind nagging at him. Like Mammon, he generally won’t be very subtle about it.

Look for these signs: melancholy, self-deprecation, envious statements, the phrase “It’s not fair!,” increased anime/game usage, crying, loss of appetite, lack of sleep, increased possessiveness.

Leviathan will periodically go through moods of self-doubt that will cause him to deflate and draw inward. He will not be able of pull himself out of these recurring regressions so it will be up to you to take notice of when he’s struggling.

If you see signs that he is falling victim to his thoughts, it's best to comfort him some before getting to the bottom of what’s wrong.

Find a way to hold him, if he’s currently playing a game then either wait for him to reach a stopping point or ask politely if he will pause so you can give him some affection. He will likely cling onto you in some way once he’s ready to speak. This is normal behavior, allow him to be as close as he needs and pat his head. He will find this soothing.

Now gently ask him what has him so upset and assess the situation. Levi may have several insecurities but always remember that he also has many strengths. Downplay his weaknesses and bolster those strengths when necessary.

He may not appear to believe your compliments at first, but this initial denial is normal. DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED. Your words mean more to him than anyone else’s, even his own. There will be a point where he stops attempting to refute your claims, that is a sign that they have reached him.

With his self-esteem bolstered, seal the deal with more affection. Kisses, hugs, and other forms of intimacy are all acceptable as he is in sore need of all options. Monitoring Levi’s emotional wellbeing is not a task for the faint of heart, yet it can still be a rewarding experience to those who wish to love this awkward otaku.

Satan

Satan takes a little after Lucifer in that he won’t be very obvious when he’s upset, but even more so because he’s already very used to acting against what he may be feeling.

Signs that Satan is in need of comfort will be subtle, but not impossible to spot. Look for if: he’s reading at nearly all times or gravitating especially toward one particular topic (this will be in response to a problem he may be facing), irritability, impatience, melancholy, or he’s more quiet/withdrawn than usual.

It is best to approach Satan about this in solitude but you need not be in private.

There is little need to walk on eggshells when asking him about his mood. Simply present your concerns in an honest and compassionate manner. Chances are, he was only hiding his problems so not to trouble you. Being direct in telling him that he doesn’t burden you will likely get him to open up just fine.

Again, like Lucifer, he will probably be seeking a solution to what’s bothering him more than he will need to vent. It’s alright if you don’t have an answer for him right away, if he’s looking for one himself it may not be a very simple problem.

Offer your support and maybe help him brainstorm what sort of steps he can take. Knowing that you’ve noticed his emotional state and are behind him fully will reassure him greatly.

If this problem has him particularly downtrodden, offer him a good book or some sort of cat-related activity/item. This should perk him up considerably because the thing he loves second to only you, is cats.

Asmodeus

If Asmodeus is upset, you WILL know.

He is not subtle in the slightest so finding signs won’t be much of a challenge. If he is: crying, moping, acting uncharacteristically withdrawn, shying away from partying, buying excessive amounts of makeup/clothing/jewelry, etc. then he is likely in need of comfort.

Approach Asmo anywhere that you can find him and ask him why he what's wrong. There isn’t any need to hide his feelings from others, he’s very open about his emotions.

He will probably tell you immediately and may need to vent in the process. Listen patiently to what he has to say with a sympathetic ear. This is a therapeutic release for him and a very important step towards making him feel better.

Once he’s done, offer him physical comfort. A hug or kisses should suffice, but it can be taken farther to whatever level you are most comfortable with. He will appreciate any contact that’s offered regardless.

If time passes and he still seems unusually somber, offer to take him shopping or to go to a spa of some kind. This may not completely rid him of his sadness, but it will help bring him back to higher spirits.

Asmodeus’ emotions run deep and can be very intense, both in highs and lows. Do not feel inadequate if it takes a few days to fully rid him of a bad mood. Just be there for him as best you can and he will love and be grateful to you for every minute of it, regardless.

Beelzebub

Beelzebub is not likely to voice his sadness, but it can still be picked up on pretty quickly if you know what to look for.

Look for these signs: he’s eating less/smaller portions than usual, unfinished plates, general looks of sorrow or unhappiness, exercising more/in excess of what's healthy, and gravitation towards comfort foods.

The first thing to note is there’s a chance that his sadness isn’t his own, but Belphegor’s just carrying over to him due their twin connection. It may be advantageous to check on Belphie before approaching Beel just in case. (For more on cheering up Belphegor, consult the next section).

If Belphie is fine, then go to Beel and gently ask him what’s wrong. Again, there is little need to beat around the bush here. Like Satan, he probably just didn’t want to trouble you.

The chances are that he’s upset about a family matter or he’s having nightmares again. If it’s a problem within the family, first ascertain if there’s an upset between him and Belphie. If the twins are having a spat, the best way to cheer him up would be to help resolve it.

For other family related issues, please seek out our supplementary material: On Demonic Family Relations & How to Resolve Demonic Family Squabbles

If he’s having nightmares, then you should consider monitoring what food he eats before bed and stay with him while he sleeps if you are not already. It will comfort him to have you close. The nightmares should pass eventually, but be there to give him love and support until they do.

Beel may look big and intimidating, but he has the most heart of any demon out there. If he has gifted it to you, it’s only natural for you to feel distressed if he’s not acting like his usual self. Just remember that a downcast Beel is not the end of the world, nor something that can’t be righted with a bit of love and effort to reach out.

Belphegor

In truth, Belphegor is more prone than the rest to suffer from bouts of sadness regularly. There may not be an obvious cause for these dips in mood, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t things you can do to help.

Belphie is very hard to read at times so physical indicators of sadness won’t be easy to catch. It may take some added familiarity with him to know when he’s acting differently than usual. Stay patient, vigilant, and empathetic. You will pick up on it eventually.

Look for these signs: increased apathy, melancholy, excessive sleepiness (yes, even more sleepy somehow), irritability, lack of appetite, and general withdrawal from the world around him.

It may be best just to ask Belphie how he’s feeling on a somewhat regular basis, but be careful not to frame your questions as if they’re coming from a place of excessive worry. He won’t want to feel as if you pity him or find him to be overly fragile, this is just a part of his daily life after all.

Beel can also be used as an indicator of Belphie’s emotional state. If Beel is looking particularly sad, it might be good to check on his twin just in case.

If it’s not a good day for him, he may not tell you outright. You will need to read between the lines. Watch where his eyes go as he answers and how long it takes him to respond. If he refuses to look at you or takes a little longer than he should to say he's alright, he may be struggling even if he claims to be fine.

Thankfully, there are very easy ways to bring Belphie a bit of comfort. Offering to nap together or cuddle is by far the easiest method and he will rarely refuse the opportunity. You can also make plans to go some place with him and Beel. Spending time with his twin will significantly improve his mood, at least under most circumstances.

If he and Beel are not currently on speaking terms, this could be another reason he's upset. Helping to resolve the issue should bring him back to good spirits, so do so post-haste.

Belphegor is a melancholic individual on principle. Though you may want to see him be cheerful more often, to some extent that’s just not a part of his nature. Don’t blame yourself if you can’t seem to get him to appear happy most days, the chances are that just having you there is doing more for him than you could ever know. Just remember that when he says he loves you he does, in fact, mean it.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios

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weelittleweasley · 3 years

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Amnesia (p2) | Draco x Reader

If you have not read part one, you can find it here!!

Prompt: After proper diagnosis and treatment, your Healer informs you that your amnesia has effected your most recent memories. These memories include your life as a upperclassman at Hogwarts, your knowledge and skills, and arguable the most important thing to you: your relationship with Draco. When Draco hears of your condition, he is overwhelmed and scared to say the least. You two are now strangers. What happens in Part Two of this multipart series?

Warnings: memory loss, nightmares, PTSD, anxiety, mentions of death

Word Count: 6.3k

A/N: This part is a slow burn, but just trust me. Shit will hit the fan soon.

This story is not about romanticizing mental health issues. These are serious conditions and this story is not meant to romanticize or fantasize these topics. It’s used as a vessel to convey a different story. That being said, please take care of yourself and sending everyone lots of love. Thank you for coming back for part two :)

Flashbacks told in italics!

Draco watched you from the window that saw into your hospital room, his nerves and terror eating away inside of him. How was he supposed to keep calm when the love of his life almost died days ago and now does not remember a single detail of their relationship? He ran his hands through his matted platinum blonde hair before covering his face and letting out a sigh that was full of mixed emotions. He was going to fall apart in seconds if it were for your Healer passing by, so he could ask him questions about your recovery.

“So her memory is gone?” he frantically asks, pleading that the answer is no. That would just mean so much time and love and energy that you both had put into this relationship was being washed down the drain.

The Healer places a firm, yet reassuring hand on Draco’s shoulder. “Not gone,” he speaks as Draco lets out a breath he was holding. “Temporarily lost you can say. Her memories can come back to her in random spurts or all at once. The brain is very complicated and everyone reacts differently. It could take anywhere from two days to two weeks for her to remember. There are rare cases, but it is possible, that it could be a few months for her to recover,” the Healer tells Draco as Draco swallows hard.

If it was going to take you months to remember your relationship with Draco, the boy would go mad. He needed you to remember who he was and what your relationship was like so you could both move on and live the life you had planned when you were students at Hogwarts weeks before. Draco dreamt of what it would be like when you two finally got away from the chaos. He pictured you two settling down somewhere remote, in a cottage somewhere in the countryside, maybe out of England. He pictured you having a lot of land, somewhere you could both enjoy nature and its scenic views. He imagined you with your beaming smile in one of your favorite sundresses, laying in the grass, reading a book whilst you laid your head in his lap. He would stroke your hair and watching you crinkle your nose as you laughed at something he said, him relishing in the regality of your beauty. He felt unworthy to look at something so rare and so beautifully genuine.

Draco snaps back into reality from his daydream and speaks, “Are you sure there isn’t a charm or spell of some sort that you could use to jog her memory? Do muggles have something that you could possibly use?” Draco was desperate for an answer, a sign, a solution, something.

The Healer just smiles lightly and shakes his head. “If there was, my boy, we would have used it,” he tells him. “I’m sorry you two are going through this. I can imagine it is hard for you, but just imagine how difficult it is for her. The best thing you can do for her right now is be there for her. When she remembers, I have no doubt that your relationship will be stronger than ever.”

-------

And so Draco was there for you. Even though visitor’s hours were over, Draco stayed in the waiting room in case anything happened. Not even your parents did this. Your parents went home and told you they would be back in the morning, confident that you were in good hands with the Healers. Draco could never be too sure. You could remember him overnight and desperately need him. You could remember something about Hogwarts and need answers, to which he would be right at your side. So in the waiting room he stayed, waiting in case you needed anything.

The ex-Slytherin prince was exhausted to say the least. He hadn’t slept since the battle, too afraid to close his eyes and see what his mind conjured. He feared he would see the eyes of his father, burning into him full of anger and disgust; his only child, his only son, betraying the family to run off with some girl. Draco feared he would see the eyes of the Dark Lord although he was dead, he feared he would find his way into Draco’s mind and into his dreams. Draco didn’t even want to think about if he saw his mother in his dreams. How he abandoned her, leaving her alone to her own devices. Worst of all, Draco knew that in his nightmares he would see you, getting hurt, pulled away from him as he clawed at his father to let him go. Draco knew he would see your limp body, bloody and frail as they carried you away to a medic. He couldn’t face his dreams; they were far too scarier than his reality.

Exhaustion pulsated throughout your body before your heavy eyelids fell, you immediately falling asleep with the help of the pain potion given to you. Today was overwhelming for you; too much has happened for your brain to process adequately. You were relieved to see your parents and Ron and Hermione, but now your diagnosis and this whole Draco situation just made things worse than you had expected. How could you just forget a whole relationship with someone that had lasted almost two years? It just didn’t seem or feel real.

You were peacefully asleep, but that’s when your dreams started for the night. Although your body was at peace, your mind raced. In your dreams, you saw flashes of fire, the screams of people echoing in the halls. Stones and rubble were all around you, bodies, dead and alive, all around. Panic entered your veins as you felt your heart sink. You’re running as fast as your legs can allow you. The taste of iron is in your mouth as you scream, your lungs burning and hot tears running down your face. You’re screaming for someone, but the words don’t come out. It’s just a scream. Chaos is growing around you as see people who you once knew die before you in the matter of seconds. Somehow you cannot control yourself in your dream as you try to run over to your friends in need, but your legs are planted. You have become stone. You see Ron from across the hall and you want to run to him, knowing that he’ll keep you safe. He’ll protect you from whatever was happening.

But before you can run to Ron, your body pulls you in the opposite direction. You want to call out for Ron, but his name doesn’t come out. Instead, your screaming something else, but you can’t make out what. Before you can even register where you are going, you look above you and see a large boulder, making its way down to crash down on you.

And that’s when you scream. The sound is rippling through your body as you sit up straight in your bed, eyes darting open. You stop screaming when you realize it was all a dream, a nightmare rather. Why did it all feel real? The pain in your head is creeping back up as your brain throbs as you catch your breath. Your heart is beating through your chest as sweat slowly drips down your temples. Hot and cold flashes ripple through your body as you clinch onto the white hospital sheets for dear life. Frantically, you look around the room to see if anyone was around you to come to your rescue. Were your parents still here? Ron? Anyone?

In that instant, the door flings open and there was the boy you were supposed to be in love with, his blonde hair pushed in front of his face, a panicked look in his eyes.

When Draco heard the scream, he knew it was you in an instant. He could recognize your voice easily, whether it was in joy or in pain. Draco knew you better than he knew himself. His heart sunk to his stomach at your cry and he leaped to his feet. The worst thoughts came to his mind, thinking that something awful had happened to you. Did someone come into your room and try to attack you? Was he not dead? Was it his father?

Before he could answer any of these questions, he had practically knocked the door down just to see you sitting up straight in bed, your face covered in panic, horror, and sadness. The sight was gut wrenching. Draco wanted to run to your side, pepper your face in kisses, stroke your hair with his fingers, and tell you that he was right beside you and going nowhere; he would be there to protect you. But instead of doing so, in fear of frightening you more in your vulnerable moment, he just makes his presence known.

“Are you alright?” he asks, gently and slowly, still half standing in the doorway, half in the room in case you asked him to leave.

You take a look at the boy in front of you and wondered why he was still here in the first place. It was the middle of the night; not even your parents were here. Why did a boy you barely knew decide to stay here overnight? You don’t entertain the thought any further. “Bad dream,” you simply tell him, rubbing your eyes.

Draco understood, there was no need to ask you any further questions. He knew that you needed time and space. The last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm you further.

Out of curiosity, you ask him, “What are you still doing here? It’s late.”

Draco sighs, “Uh, I just wanted to make sure that you were alright. That if you needed anything someone would be here for you. Besides, I don’t have anywhere to go...” he trails off the last sentence sadly. He ran away from his mother, there was no home for Draco right now. He was alone. And without you? He was more alone than ever before.

You both look at each other for a few moments, breathing the moment in through your nose and out of your mouths. You took the time to really take a good look at Draco. He looked exhausted; heavy bags under his eyes that pulled all the way down to the tops of his cheekbones. His hair flopped lazily in front of his face. As sad as he looked, there was something almost angelic about him in this moment. The medic lights that flickered over his head dully almost made a halo above his head as he stared upon you with the most loving, sad expression you have ever seen. You could see how a previous version of yourself fell in love. He was undeniably handsome and there was something that was absolutely magnetic about him. You wanted to be around him for some reason.

Draco interrupts your thoughts, “I’ll be just outside if you need me.”

He tries to slither out of the door before you stop him, not even register what you are saying until the words fall out of your mouth.

“Stay with me,” you call to him, rather than asking him like you would have preferred.

He stops dead in his tracks and turns to you, a confused expression on his face. Did you remember him? Was this your way of telling him?

You inhale, “I just don’t want to be alone.” It was true, you didn’t want to be alone again with you and your nightmares in fear it would attack again when you closed your eyes. “My dreams are scary,” you confess. “They seem real.”

In that moment Draco knew that the dreams you were having weren’t really dreams; they were flashbacks. He had them too when he closed his eyes. Draco knew exactly what you saw and there was no need to explain. He was just happy that you asked him to stay with you. “Of course,” he gives you a small smile, preventing a larger one from appearing on his tired face.

Draco slowly closes the door behind him before making his way to the chair near your bedside. He sits in the chair slowly and offers you a small smile. You return one to him with a small sigh. You wanted to go to sleep, but also were afraid of what you would see again. Would you dream of the same thing again? Or something worse? Would this happen all the time?

You watch the ceiling for a few moments before speaking to Draco, “I’m afraid of closing my eyes.” You turn to him to watch his reaction and he gives you a sympathetic look.

“I am, too,” he confesses. “I see old memories that replay in my head. Horrible things. Things I did, things I bore witness to, things I tried to stop...” he looks at you sadly. It was like you both understood where the other came from. There was an unspeakable understanding that just reassured the other that they were not alone. Although you don’t remember much of Malfoy besides the limited encounters with him, you can’t help but feel bad for him. He had obviously been fighting something and you wished that it would leave him alone. “Did you want to talk about what you saw?” he asked you. You shook your head and he gave you a smile. “That’s alright. You should try and fall asleep at least. You are in recovery from a nasty injury, let’s not forget that,” he teases as you smile. He loved your smile.

You lay back a little further in your bed relaxing. “Malfoy?” you ask as Draco’s ears perk up to his name being dropped from your lips. “Were we in love?” you ask, surprising him and yourself. But if you were going to remember the boy, you had to know if you loved him.

Draco thought to himself, Were we in love? As much as I breathe. But he doesn’t say that. “We were,” he smiles lightly at the memory when you would look at him with love glistening in your eyes, brushing his hair with your fingers as he would pull you in close by your hips, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. The boy loved you with every fiber in his being. “Madly,” he adds with a laugh.

As he says that, your curiosity peaks. You two must have had a beautiful relationship if he claimed you were madly in love. That was not a light statement. Without further consideration, you ask him, “Can you tell me the story? Of how we fell in love?” Draco’s eyes widen when he looks at you. “It’ll help jog my memory...I also just want to know,” you tease, making him laugh. His laugh made goosebumps appear on your forearms.

Where to start, Draco thinks. He could tell you about the story of the moment he knew that he wanted to make you his, your first date, when he asked you to be his girlfriend, the moment he told you that he loved you for the first time. There were so many good memories that he had of the two of you, it was hard to choose just one. “How about this,” he proposes, “I’ll start wherever you don’t remember. With each day, I’ll tell you a new story.”

His proposition made you smile. It seemed promising. “How do I know I’ll see you every day for a new story?” you ask, raising your brows.

Your expression made Draco smile. That teasing little smile that played on your lips was one he was so fond of. “I’ll make sure of it. That’s a promise,” he tells you. “Pinky promise.” He sticks out his left pinky finger as you loop yours with his, squeezing it. Instinctively, you kiss your thumb and Draco does the same. Your eyes widen, shocked that he did the same thing as you. You would kiss your thumb after a pinky promise ever since you were a child with your mum. As if he read your thoughts, Draco said, “I remember a lot of things, (Y/N). We also used to do that a lot.”

His words bring a smile to your face as you let go and giggle at the boy in the chair. “Alright, let me think,” you state. You scan your memory for what you remember of Draco. You remember meeting him that first night you arrived to Hogwarts when he made fun of you of being friends with Ron, you remember him teasing you in your charms class because you came to class with bedhead, running late, you remember sitting next to him at the Triwizard Tournament and stomping on his foot when he said he wished the dragon got Harry, you remember when Umbridge busted you and your friends for learning defensive magic and Draco being the first person you saw when you exited the room of requirement. “The last thing I remember was when Umbridge busted Harry and all of us for learning defensive magic behind her back. You were there and you made a comment at me. I remember being mad about it and you stood a smirked at me,” you push his arm.

Draco laughs, “Sounds about right.” You roll your eyes, turning your body gently to face Draco before he began the story. Draco had to stop himself from getting distracted at the way you looked at him, excitement in your eyes as he started his story. Your wispy pieces of hair floated over your head like a fuzzy halo, his heart fluttered at the sight. Merlin, I love you, he thought to himself. “Alright, let’s see,” he starts.

After being busted by Umbridge, you were under high surveillance. Not much to do for fun around Hogwarts anymore. No more gatherings after a certain time, no common room study sessions, the library closed after a particular hour, and not to mention boys and girls had to be separated by 8 feet. How was anyone supposed to have fun outside of academia anymore? Even Hermione belly ached about how bored she was.

You should have expected your secret meetings to have been busted. When you heard that Umbridge had rodeoed a select few students to be on a watch patrol, you knew that their leader, Draco Malfoy, would go to the ends of the Earth if it meant busting Harry Potter. You wondered if the boy really found joy in being a dickhead to people. Although the conversations you had with Draco were limited, you could tell that some of it was a show that he put on for his other Slytherin friends. It’s like they expected him to be an arse before they even met him. Regardless, the point was that Draco was always blunt and rude around you and his company was not your preferred company.

In the library, there you were, sat at a small table during your off period, scribbling some answers down to some last minute Potions homework that you knew if you didn’t get done, Snape would have your head on a silver plate. As you scribble down your answers in a frantic fury, you don’t even notice Malfoy enter the library, his sightline going straight to you. He smiled when he saw you sitting at the table, immersed in your work, hands pulling at your own hair gently. You were a sight for sore eyes. Draco always took notice of you at Hogwarts, he just never made a move because you never left the damned Gryffindor common room.

You didn’t even notice Draco in front of you until he hovered above you, startling you. “Merlin, Malfoy,” you jump. “What do you want? And stay eight feet away, you git. I don’t need to get into more trouble with Umbridge. You have already done enough damage,” you sneer at him.

Draco thought it was adorable when you were cross. “I came to ask you out,” he simply states. He doesn’t explain himself further. He just sits beside you at the table in the library, a smug grin on his face like you said yes to his proposition.

“What makes you think that I would want to go out with someone like you,” venom drips from your cherry flavored lips as Draco smirks. Your words did nothing to him. Oh, how that would change very quickly. “You’ve been nothing but cruel to me and my friends and now, all of a sudden you want to ask me on a date? You’re out of your bloody mind.” You continue to finish your Potions homework before Draco plucks the textbook from underneath you.

Before you can protest to his actions, he speaks, “Someone like me? And what would that be? Handsome, charming, intelligent, and funny? Sounds like a real bore,” he jokes. Merlin, he had a big head. “Not to mention, this hasn’t come all of a sudden. I’ve had my eyes on you for a while, (Y/L/N). I just haven’t mustered up the courage to ask you out properly. So here I am,” he leans on his elbow on the table, a shit eating grin on his face that you would love to smack off. “I need an answer, darling. Or else Professor Snape’s homework will just have to wait...”

You roll your eyes, “The answer you’re looking for is not the one you desire. Besides, even if I said yes, what would we even do? It’s not like we have any freedom here. We’re under constant watch.”

Draco laughs at your naiveté. “I thought you were brighter than this, (Y/L/N). I have my tricks. You can get away with a lot when you’re a Malfoy,” he pushes a strand of hair out of your face as he said this, you slapping it away as he does so. “Play nice,” he teases. “Your homework is on the line.”

Anger bubbled in your stomach, but for some reason his argument seemed to be compelling. What did he have planned? “What exactly are you thinking of doing, Malfoy?” you lean in, teasing him further as he smiles, thinking he’s won. Instead, you just pluck your textbook back from his hands, smiling as you do so. You beat him at his own game. This just made the boy more enthralled with you.

“Ah, that’s for me to know and you to find out, darling,” he speaks. “So, I take it you’re interested?” he asks, wiggling his brows.

You really hated to admit that you were interested in his offer, curiosity getting the best of you, as it usually did. You huff, brush your hair to one side. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t,” you admit, a smile pulling at the corner of your mouth. This was so unlike you.

Draco let a chuckle escape from his lips. “Brilliant. 7pm. Stay in the Gryffindor common room. I’ll come to you. I’ll see you then, kitten,” he purrs, leaving just as quickly as he came.

As Draco wraps up the story, you stare in disbelief. “There was no way I fell for that line,” you tell him, sitting up from your position in your hospital bed. “I really said yes to that cheese ball line?”

“How could you not?” he retorts. “I’m suave,” he jokes, making you laugh as you threw your head back. The sight of you laughing was enough to melt every single one of Draco’s fears. The way your nose crinkled as you laugh, your eyes squeezed shut, melodious laughter falling from your parted lips. “You’re beautiful when you laugh,” he tells you, unable to hold back his thoughts. That was Draco’s weakness. He could never lie to you. He always told you what he was thinking. It was his best quality and yet his downfall.

His compliment makes you blush and look away from him. You weren’t uncomfortable from the comment, but you were just taken aback. Draco was someone who you barely remembered, yet you had such visceral reactions when you were with him. He brought you confusion and comfort that was oddly satisfying. You decide to change the subject. “So tell me about our first date. What did you end up doing that was so spectacular that make me stay?” you ask through a large yawn.

Draco smiles as you cover your mouth, you were obviously exhausted. “I said one story a day, you sneak,” he smiles at you. “Besides, I don’t think you would be awake for the most of it. You look exhausted. I think you should get some rest,” he rises from the chair. He was right. You were even more exhausted than you were before. You pull the covers back over your body, cuddling into the thin sheets. Draco watches as you get settled in your bed, gently smiling at how you pulled the sheet all the way up to your chin like you always did before bed. He remembers how you would always sneak into his bed at Hogwarts; you always preferred his silk sheets to your cotton ones. “Sweet dreams, (Y/N).”

The platinum blonde boy walks to the door before a thought intrudes your mind. What was the harm in speaking it? “Draco?” you call his name cautiously. He turns around to face you, eyebrows raised. You slowly pull the sheets open. “Do you wanna sleep next to me?” you ask slowly, treading lightly. You gave him the offer mostly because you felt bad about him having to sleep in a hospital waiting room until morning. Those chairs were wildly uncomfortable and no one should be forced to sleep there by themselves. But there was part of you that wanted Draco with you. There was an aura about him that reminded you of home. The way he could make you smile with just a dumb sentence was comforting. He felt familiar; like you could remember some pieces of him. Maybe if he stayed with you tonight, all the memories would come back. Maybe his touch would awaken something in you.

At the offer, Draco wanted to scream yes and climb into bed with you, snuggled next to your side, breathing in your all too familiar scent. But he didn’t want to overwhelm you. He had to tread lightly, make sure that you were comfortable. “Are you sure?” he asks, genuinely wanting to know if that was alright. “I can just stay in the waiting room, it really is no problem.”

You shake your head. “I’m positive...I want you to stay with me,” you tell him. “I could be rushing it or I could be crazy, but I think that maybe you staying with me might be helpful...for my memory.”

How could Draco argue with that logic? He smiled and closed the door, trying to hide his excitement. He took off his patent leather shoes and peeling off his blazer, getting himself comfortable before climbing next to you in bed. The hospital bed was arguable just as uncomfortable as the waiting room chairs in Draco’s opinion, but you in bed with him made it all better. Draco slid one arm carefully around your shoulder as to not disturb any painful areas. Although the gesture should have been romantic or comforting, it just felt awkward.

You both just laid there for a moment, awkwardly laying before you give in to his touch, resting your head on his chest. Within an instant, the two of you let out a breath that you were holding in, melting into each other’s touch. This position of you resting on his chest, hearing his heartbeat made something inside you click. It did feel familiar. Something about it was familiar.

The two of you don’t speak any words to each other. You both lay there, waiting for the other to say something. But no one says anything. What is there to be said? You allow yourself to slowly fall asleep to the slow drum of Draco’s heartbeat in your ear through his chest as Draco follows only after you are sound asleep. He knew that he could sleep once you were.

-----

As you drift back off into sleep, another dream kicks back in. This one not nearly as horrifying as the last. In fact, it was quite endearing. You aren’t at Hogwarts. You’re somewhere else. Someone’s home. It’s not yours, that’s for sure. The house was smaller, but had a large winding staircase. It isn’t until you hear multiple voices in your head that you instantly recognize where you are. It was undeniably the Burrow. Weasley’s. A smile forms on your face when you recognize your surroundings.

In this dream of a memory, it’s Christmas time. Molly Weasley in the kitchen, cooking, something delicious smelling of sage and rosemary. Fred and George are in the backyard, building what looks like a fort of some kind, their efforts failing miserably when Ginny runs into the fort, causing it to fall down. A giggle escapes your lips.

You walk further around the house and recognize it more and more with every step. The Weasley home felt like a second home to you. So much so that Molly knew how to cook your eggs and knew the difference between yours and Ginny’s uniforms and Arthur had put a coat hanger in the side hall for you when you were over. You were here almost as often as your own childhood home. Your parents travelled a lot for work and you spent Christmas at Burrow maybe two or three times. This year was undeniably when you were in year four with Ron. You know it to be so because of Ron’s horrid haircut that you teased him about that whole year.

As if one cue, Ron appears and pulls you to the other room and suddenly you are on the couch, a mug of hot chocolate in your hands. Ron is telling you about a prank that George had planted in Percy’s room for when he came home. You have the feeling of undeniable joy in your chest and your cheeks hurt from smiling. Have you ever had this feeling before? The two of you were laughing at the other and expressing your joy and excitement for the holiday, focusing on the company of the other. You loved spending Christmas with the Weasleys because you knew that you would have more time to bond with Ron. Ron was your first friend at Hogwarts and he was the one who introduced you to Hermione and Harry. Ron was the one to push you to go after what you wanted. Ron was your best friend and other half. Undeniably.

In this dream, Ron looks at you in your eyes with a cheeky grin on his face and says, “I am so glad you’re here for Christmas. It makes things so much better.” He pulls you into a tight hug and kisses your forehead. “I love you.”

Before you can process the words, you speak out, “I love you more, Weasley.”

Your eyes shoot open and you slowly sit up. You were all kinds of confused. Ron Weasley? He was your best friend, sure, but the feeling you got during the dream was not one that a best friend should have. Your face was flushed, cheeks a bright shade of red. Were you blushing? Your heart beat was racing and your mouth was dry. The image of Ron smiling at you, his arm around your shoulder sticks out in your mind. Him saying I love you plays on repeat like a broken record. What was happening? This went against everything you knew and what people told you you were supposed to feel? Ron wasn’t your boyfriend; Draco was.

Draco.

You look next to you to see Draco still peacefully asleep, lips parting that allowed light snores to escape. His arm was still draped around your figure which you once found comforting, but now you found alarming. Careful not to wake him up, you peel his arm from around you and onto his lap. His touch now was now foreign. How did this all take a 360 within a few hours?

Casting the thoughts out of your brain, you turn over to the other side of the small bed, back to Draco, trying to fall back asleep, hoping that Draco didn’t notice the change of position. You let your heavy eyelids bring you to sleep, but unbeknownst to you, Draco does notice that you are no longer peacefully asleep on his chest. But he doesn’t say anything. Disappointed, he just takes note of it and closes his eyes, but he can’t fall asleep.

-------

The morning light streams in just as quickly as it left and gently wakes you up. The light hurts your head and makes you wince in pain, softly clutching your head. You sit up slowly and rub your eyes with the heel of your free hand, trying to rid the sleep from your eyes. As you let your eyes focus again, you see Draco is sitting in the chair beside your bed like he was like night, trying his shoes. “Morning, sleepyhead,” he smiles at you. You let out a groggy morning. “The Healer left you another pain potion for this morning. He said to take it as soon as you wake up and then you are good to be discharged and go home,” Draco reports.

The thought of going home made you excited, but nervous. Home was always nice and being your parents at a time like this was definitely something you needed. However, your childhood home didn’t feel like much of a home after your time at Hogwarts, especially since your parents were always traveling and were rarely home even on holidays. If anything, home meant going back to Hogwarts or alternatively going back to the Burrow with the Weasleys...

Shaking your head, you return yourself to the current conversation. “Sounds great,” you smile and take the pain potion from off the nightstand, drinking from the small vile, contorting your face in disgust after, the fowl taste lingering on your tongue. Draco laughs as you do so. “I hate the taste,” you blush, wiping your mouth. “Are my parents here to pick me up?” you ask Draco.

“I’m not sure,” he says. “I can check with the Healer and see if your parents called or not. If not, I can always take you home. I have no problem seeing that you get back safely,” he offers with a gentle smile as you nod. “Great,” he breathes out. “Let me check for you.”

Draco moves to the door and opens it up only to reveal Ron Weasley standing there, fresh eyed and with a small smile on his face that fades when his eyes land on Draco’s. “Weasley,” Draco greets. “I was just going to grab the Healer. (Y/N)’s been discharged.”

Ron shakes his head, “I know. I’m here to pick her up.” Ron glances to you and smiles before sending you a wink. Your heart stops in your chest and your eyes widen. Something that was a friendly gesture between you and Ron now has new meaning after last night’s dream/memory. What was going on?

Interrupting your thoughts, Draco looks to Ron and says, “You’re picking up, (Y/N)? Where are her parents?”

“Is there a problem with me picking (Y/N) up? I’m her best mate after all. Plus, her parents asked me if I could whilst they dealt with preparing her room and treatments for her arrival home,” Ron pushes past Draco and straight to you. “Morning, darling. I have fresh clothes for you and your mum is making breakfast for you back at your house. Ready?”

You look back and forth between Ron and Draco and the tension between the two is palpable. You thought that Draco and Harry had problems? This was another level. “Um, yeah, I guess so,” you reply to Ron while looking at Draco who shakes his head, understanding completely. Your parents had sent Ron for you. You didn’t need Draco. Draco just gives you a small smile before walking to the door. “Wait, Draco,” you call for him like you did last night. “I’ll see you again, right? You owe me a story,” you gently smile.

Draco lets a pink hue reach his cheeks. “You’ll see me again, darling. I promise,” he tells you. “I’m not going anywhere,” he says, this directed toward Ron this time. “Until then, love,” he winks at you before walking out of the room and down the hospital corridor.

Of course, Draco wished he could be the one taking you home from the hospital. He wanted to be with you every step of the way on your recovery. Draco wanted to hold your hand and guide you through every bump in the road. But if this is what you wanted, he had to respect that. He would have his time. He was sure of it. You would come around.

Meanwhile, you changed in the bathroom into the fresh clothes Ron had brought with him. The soft cotton of your clothes made you sigh in relief, it was so much better than that itchy hospital gown. You emerge from the bathroom, straightening out your hoodie before breathing out, “Let’s go home.”

“Brilliant,” Ron beams, guiding you out of the room, his hand on the small of your back. The action makes you gasp a little bit, but you eventually relax and calm yourself down. It��s a friendly thing, (Y/N). Merlin.

The two of you exit in the hospital, leaving behind all of your fears and worries, ready to face whatever obstacle with a newfound confidence. As you climb into the car, Ron starts it and drives away from the hospital, the radio playing whatever muggle music the channel had to offer. The car ride is mostly quiet except for a few exchanges, but that’s when you notice Ron isn’t taking you back to your childhood home. Rather, you are going somewhere else.

“Ronald Weasley,” you furrow your brows. “This isn’t the way home to my parent’s house...where are you taking me?”

Ron doesn’t hide the cheeky grin from his face. “We’re going home alright,” he laughs. “Just my house.”

The Burrow. Merlin, help you.

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theolympusfiles · 3 years

Text

rereading the PJO and HoO - part one: the lightning thief

before i start, all italicized parts are from the lightning thief by rick riordan. they're not my words and these are not my characters. my thoughts are the only thing that are mine :)

• "mom, you're coming too." her face was pale, her eyes as sad as when she looked at the ocean. "no!" i shouted, you are coming with me. help me carry grover". - the first(ish) appearance of percy's fatal flaw! i love the early establisment, especially because it helps foreshadow to the sea of monsters when fatal flaws are formally introduced.

• "that's -" "pasiphae's son," my mother said. "i wish i'd known how badly they wanted to kill you." - sally is underappreciated. she's smart as hell and clearly took the time to research demigods. yes, she was a little bit selfish with keeping percy out of the loop and not sending him to camp. but can you blame her? she lost all of her family and if she sent percy to CHB at an early age, that most nearly means she won't see him often (he'll attract monsters because he's aware of his status as a demigod and will most likely be at camp full-time). but sally ensured that she knew enough about the demigod world to protect percy because she knew that her selfishness would come with consequences. best mom.

• i was crying, calling for my mother, but i held on to grover - i wasn't going to let him go. - percy's first loss as a demigod and i am broken. honestly, so sad to think of, especially knowing all the losses he'll face in the future books. this line is also his fatal flaw showing once again (refer to first bulletpoint)

• "it (america) is the great power of the west. and so olympus is here. and we are here." - if olympus follows the west, where would the next location be? obviously, america is still a big powerhouse in terms of western civilization but that's not going to last. my bet is south korea but who knows? would love a fanfic on this tbh

• "the truth is, i can't be dead. you see, eons ago the gods granted my wish. i could continue the work i loved. i could be a teacher of heroes as long as humanity needed me. i gained so much from that wish... and i gave up so much. but i'm still here, so i can only assume i'm still needed." - how will it be decided that he's not needed? honestly, can't imagine CHB without him but chiron also deserves retirement

• i started to understand luke's bitterness and how he seemed to resent his father, hermes so okay, maybe gods had important things to do. but couldn't they call once in a while, or thunder or something? - percy has always showed some hesitance when accepting the demigod world, so i wasn't really surprised to see doubts like this pop up, especially with luke's influence. i'd think most demigods feel this way, luke and percy are just the ones who exhibit it the most in the series. i'm really interested in the parallels between the two and i'm looking forward to reading more and examining them

• "during the winter solstice, at the last council of the gods, zeus and poseidon had an argument. the usual nonsense: 'mother rhea always liked you best', 'air disasters are more spectacular than sea disasters', etc. - despite the fact that the gods are all-powerful beings, i appreciate the petty sibling spats that are mentioned briefly

• "so let me get this straight," i said. "i'm supposed to go to the underworld and confront the world of the dead." "check," chiron said. "find the most powerful weapon in the universe." "check." "and get it back to olympus before the summer solstice in ten days." "that's about right." i looked at grover, who gulped down the ace of heaers. "did i mention that maine is very nice this time of year?" he asked weakly. - this would be perfect for those 30 second trailers

• "gee," i said feigning surprise. "who else would be stupid enough to volunteer for a q uest like this?" the air shimmered behind chiron. annabeth became visible, stuffing her yankees cap into her back pocket. - the way he knows her pretty well already, i-

• the truth was, i didn't care about retrieving zeus' lightning bolt, or saving the world, or even helping my father out of trouble. - early on, we see from the get go that percy has a dislike for the gods. it's small mentions like this that really gets me thinking. he never really showed any dislike of the gods when he first arrived at camp (understandable) but he was hopeful for his father. it wasn't until luke planted the seed into his head that these thoughts came to light. i love this little detail, especially as we know that towards the end, luke does seem to think he can turn percy against the gods. his plan backfired a little bit on him in the end but like i said before, the parallels between luke and percy are so glaring. riordan definitely thought it out extensively

• do not be a pawn of the olympians, my dear. you would be better off as a statue - this is said to percy by medusa and again, feeds into his dislike of the gods. i wonder if monsters have some opinion on this. most would probably hate the gods but i wonder what their stance is on demigods. we know that they work with them (see kronos' army). the real enemy for monsters are the gods, the demigods killing them are just pawns to the gods so maybe that's how some monsters see them

• "so, what's your status?" luke asked me. "chiron will be sorry he missed you." i told him pretty much everything, including my dreams. it felt so good to see him, to feel like i was back at camp even for a few minutes, that i didn't even realize how long i had talked to him until the beeper went off on the spray machine. - there's no doubt that percy really considered luke a friend. he wasn't hesitant to tell luke about his dreams, something that he didn't share with annabeth or grover until later on the book. luke was a sort of mentor to percy and it was conveyed pretty well through their interactions, which makes his betrayal even more heartbreaking

• "you think you'll ever try living with your dad again?" she wouldn't meet my eyes. "please. i'm not into self-inflicted pain." - my heart breaks for annabeth and her relationship with her father. i've read most of the riordanverse books and the growth in annabeth's relationship with her family is definitely something i'm looking forward to watch grow as i make my way through the books again

• i looked over at the desk and saw a girl sitting there, also wearing a straitjacket - so i never paid the dreams any mind but now that i think about it, they're really good for analysis. for example, the straitjacket could mean something like the gods are keeping them restrained. maybe i'm overthinking it or have been analyzing text too much in AP english but i think that the dreams are worth some deeper thinking

• i pretended not to see annabeth wipe a tear from her cheek as she listened to the mournful keening of cerberus in the distance, longing for his new friend - i need to see annabeth play with cerberus again D:

• i turned and faced my mother. i desperately wanted to sacrifice myself and the last pearl on her, but i knew what she would say. she would never allow it. i had to get the bolt back to olympus and tell zeus the truth. i had to stop the war. - percy's growth as a character really shines through here. the lightning thief is a pretty short book and the journey they took was less than 2 weeks but despite that percy's grown immensely as a character. his goal was always to save his mother but in the end, he sacrificed her because he knew it was his duty to save olympus and i respect that

• "you have made an enemy, godling," he told me. "you have sealed your fate. every time you raise your blade in battle, everytime you hope for success, you will feel my curse. beware, perseus jackson. beware." - ares cursed percy to be unsuccesful in battle but does his curse ever take effect? i don't recall any mention of this curse later on the series. obviously, percy is the main character and a really good swordfighter but the curse might have affected some battles right? but then again riordan has a lot of plotholes so i wouldn't put too much thought in it

• i knew dionysus must've filled it out, because he stubbornly insisted on getting my name wrong. - i've always accepted the fact that dionysus called the demigods by their wrong name for humor. but what if it's deeper? what if it's a way to put some space between him and the demigods, just as an extra precaution so he won't get attached. or it could be a ploy to showcase that he's more powerful than them and that they are beneath him, which is why he doesn't need to know their name. i like the former headcanon more though :P

• i opened my eyes. i was propped up in bed in the sickroom of the big house, my right hand bandaged like a club. argus stood guard in the corner. annabeth sat next to me, holding my nectar glass and dabbing a washcloth on my forehead. "here we are again," i said. - the parallel

well, that's everything i had notes on. overall, i liked rereading it. i really do miss this series and i'm finding my love for it be rekindled by rereading. i miss the humor of the early books (i could literally make a whole post of underrated lines). the last time i read the series in its whole was when i was 7 and now that i'm 16, i have more thoughts and can analyze the story better. also loved seeing baby percabeth as they're my OTP. i'm excited to continue with the series. to the sea of monsters!

#Percy Jackson and the Olympians #PJO #Pjato/hoo #reading #rereading #books #Greek Mythology #percy jackson #annabeth chase #luke castellan #Grover underwood #analysis #the lightning thief #pjo series

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mendesblurb · 3 years

Text

WHERE IS THE LOVE

Shawn Mendes x female reader

Warning: fluff, maybe grammar error and maybe some punctuation errors and maybe typos

GIF Credits to owner and maker @tannerandthesociety-backup

It felt like it was just yesterday when you were a new transfer student entering a high school in Toronto.

You were forced to relocate to another country because your dad was offered a promotion at work. You were so happy when he conveyed the news even though you were a little sad that you had to move to another country.

First day of school was tough as nobody wanted to get to know the new kid. You were about to give up when a group of guys asked whether they could sit with you during lunch.

Because you were lonely and desperate for friends you said yes. Those guys were Shawn,Brian and Connor. Soon the four of you became inseparable, you see the thing is for other people at the school they were the three weirdos and now you were their newest member.

The three of you were there from the beginning of Shawn's music career. You were there when his vine blew up and you were all so proud when stitches went trending.

Fast forward to now, you are currently on a summer break from university and what better way to spend your break than joining your best friend’s world tour.

Today you were off to the land of the rising sun aka Japan. As soon as you reach your seat, all you want you to do is take a nap. But unfortunately that was just impossible as you were sitting in next to Brian and Connor.

“Guys please let me sleep.” You whinnied

“Nope, Y/N you're so busy with boring University assignments and now we can finally catch up with each other .” Brian said

“Hey Y/N, what’s stopping you two?” Connor asked

“What do you mean?” You said in lazy tone and eyes still closed

“Let me rephrase it for you my dear, do you or do you not still have feelings for Shawn?” Connor said cheekily

You opened your eyes immediately and said, “Connor wtf?” You said while elbowing him

“Owww, but seriously that sounds like a yes to me, right Brian?” Connor said

“Uhm without a doubt.” Brian nod his head

“Look Y/N, all I’m saying is It will be a dream come true if you and Shawn finally decide to take your friendship to the next level.” Connor said

“What are you trying to say Con, stop giving me riddles.” You whined

“All I’m saying is I know our Shawnie like you too and I have a plan to make him confess his feelings to you.” Connor said

“Whatever brilliant plan you think you have, I don’t want to know because whatever feelings I have towards him will just ruin our friendship.” You replied

“Cmon Y/N, please!” He said while giving you his puppy eyes

“I just don’t want to ruin our friendship, Con.” you said

“I pinky promise, your friendship won’t be ruined.” He said

“Fine, tell me your so-called amazing plan” you replied

“Brian, will you do the honours of explaining the plan to this amazing lady here.” Connor said

“ it would be my pleasure.” He said while giggling

The next few hours flew by and soon you were arriving at theHaneda Airport. Upon arriving the four of you and all the crew rushed to the hotel.

————The next morning———————————-

“Good morning Y/N and Con.” Shawn said in a clearly still sleepy face

Shawn was sleepy but not blind as he saw his 2 best friends standing rather close to each other. Connor’s hand was wrapped around your waist and his face was buried in your neck.

“Oh hey Shawn, didn’t see you there.” You said and immediately you turned your attention back to Connor and he whispered to your ear,”pretend I said something funny and you loved it.” In response you just giggled and Completely ignored Shawn.

Shawn felt annoyed and decided to go and find Brian. After spotting Brian, Shawn decided to approach his table.

Shawn plopped on the seat next to

Brian, resting his head in one of his hands while the other aggressively stabbed the watermelon in his bowl with a fork.

“Dude, don’t blame the watermelon when you have a jetlag!” Brian said

"I am not jetlag" Shawn mumbled through gritted teeth and annoyed expression, lifting his eyes to look at you again, gripping the fork tighter when he saw who you were with.

Brian followed his friend's eyes, and he was crossing his fingers and hoping his plan worked when his eyes landed on you. But for now he just sighed and put his hand on Shawn’s shoulder, to somehow give him support over the image of his two best friends acting all flirty toward one another.

You made your way through the hotel restaurant to find Brian’s table while holding Connor’s hand. This was part of the whole plan, you and Connor had to act all flirty with each other during breakfast.

Hey guys" You playfully greeted, reaching the table, a big smile on your face as you sat across from them.

Before Connor could sit down next yo you, he got a phone call from Andrew saying that he needs to finish editing the video now so he excused himself and went back to his room.

"Hi Y/n" Brian happily replied, lightly nudging Shawn’s elbow when he didn't say anything.

Your smile instantly replaced by a frown, when you noticed Shawn was just focused on his watermelon , avoiding your gaze. By now you wonder, whether the plan actually worked because the last thing you want is to ruin your friendship.

"So how did you guys sleep?" You awkwardly asked, focusing your curious eyes on Brian, waiting for him to tell you what was going on with Shawn.

“Uh ... not much but managed to get 6 hours" Brian said. "So, when did you get all lovey dovey with Connor?" He asked to take the attention away from Shawn, but he mentally he knew that's probably the last thing Shawn wants to hear right now.

"Oh last night Connor confessed his feelings and I said I felt the same" You smiled back again, meanwhile Shawn just choked at his glass of milk.

By now Shawn was coughing and you quickly asked, “ Shawn you okay, here have my water.”

“I’m good Y/N, thanks.” Shawn replied but still avoiding your meet your eye

“He confessed his feelings and now you guys are showing all the PDA" He teased in a mocking tone making you frown for the second time, because it wasn't a sarcastic mocking tone, it was a mean mocking tone.

"I mean he is proud to say that He has feelings for me and now he just wants other people to know about our love too so I will say it’s a sweet gesture he likes and I really enjoy it too" You defended yourself, and Shawn just chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure that's just a rebound,I mean we're talking about Connor, He makes everyone think he has moved on from his ex and Y/n, I'm sure he just wants to have a tour fling to show his ex." Shawn proudly said

"So you're saying I'm just some fling for him?" You asked, ignoring the way your heart ached from Shawn who was thinking so low of your other best friend.

"What I'm saying is the guy still constantly talks about his ex , so my advice is you shouldn't be that excited about your new relationship status because he'll just end up going back to his ex.” He stated while obviously still clouded by jealousy.

"Seriously why can’t you be happy that I end up with Connor, Mendes" You painfully said, before getting up from the table and leaving your bowl of cereal behind and you went back to your room.

Jealousy could trigger many things and you certainly didn’t expect Shawn would say that about Connor.

“Mendes, when was the last time she called you that?” Brian said

Mendes, you only call him that whenever you are upset with him. And now he realised that he too was blinded by the jealousy that he didn’t monitor all the words coming out of his mouth.

“ You know what I still can’t believe, I am still surprised that a guy like you could write so many songs but can never truly say anything to the person who inspired all the songs.” Brian shook his head in disapproval and left Shawn all alone at the hotel restaurant.

…………………….Later at rehearsal…………………..

Part B of the plan was for you and Connor to arrive together at the rehearsal but also you need to arrive a little late to build some type of tension, at least this theory was stated by Brian.

“Okay everyone let’s take 5, before we start.” Shawn said to the band, “Brian where‘s Y/N?” He asked

“I don’t know probably, with Connor.” Brian replied

After rehearsing for 2 songs you finally arrived at the venue with Connor.

Usually during all rehearsals or concerts you will give your full attention to Shawn and after every song you would give him a thumbs up and clap for him.

Today however it was different as he looked across the stage he saw you sitting in Connor’s lap and giggling at his cheesy jokes.

Shawn felt heartbroken when he saw you, his girl, well not exactly, his girl that isn't his but is his ... the girl he loved forever... anyway, when he saw you laugh with someone that wasn't him his heart instantly dropped.

Especially when that someone was Connor Brashier, I mean he knew that Connor was aware of his feelings toward you and he didn’t expect this type of betrayal from Connor of all people.

———- The day of the concert——————————

Today was the big day, usually Shawn felt excited because he was about to meet all his fans but today he couldn’t concentrate, he kept thinking whether things could turn out differently if he confessed his feelings sooner. Would you feel the same? One thing for sure is he would be on cloud nine if you felt the same way he did.

“Shawn, you ready?” Andrew asked

“Yeah, yeah sure.” He said clearly distracted

“Hey.” You said entering the dressing room

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” Shawn asked

“Am I not allowed to wish my best friend a goodluck?” You asked.

“Whatever Y/N just go and be with Connor.” He said

“Look Shawn I think there’s something you should know.”

“Look Y/N, I need to focus on rehearsing my lyrics so please don’t distract me.”

“Shawn I’m sorry if I ever was a distraction, I’ll be outside if you need me.” You said trying to hold back your tears

“Y/N wait! I’m sorry I didn’t mean that it’s just you’re a distraction because dammit I am in love with you and I understand that you’re with Connor now and I just think you should know how I feel about you .” He said

“Shawn I’m not with Connor, I mean the whole thing was them trying to prove to me that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way towards you… the truth is I have loved you since high school if I’m being honest.” You confessed

The next few minutes was a blur as Shawn got up from his seat to kiss you…. what you didn’t know was that the dressing room door was open and Connor and Brian were standing there.

Seeing that Brian grabbed the door handle and closed the door.

Standing at the side stage, Connor happily said, “we did it bro.”

“Damn right we did.” Brian sighed happily and they fist bumped each other.

@itsalwaysbeen305

#Shawn #Shawn mendes #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes fandom #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes #Shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes oneshot #Shawn mendes stories

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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years

Note

for the meet ugly asks, 08 with the ot4 if that’s ok? (the note in the locker one, in case I have the wrong number). rating up to you! :)

Here you go! I went NSFW

Joseph is not missing his chance. Not again.

If he’s keeping count, which he’s certainly not, he’s missed fifty-two chances between fifth grade and now.

Barclay’s family moved next door in the summer of 1951, causing eleven year old Joseph to learn very quickly what it’s like to have someone whose side you never want to leave. Lucky for him, Barclay felt the same way; they were in the same boyscout troop, were each others first choice for sleep overs or outings where they were allowed to take one friend. When they hit high school, Barclay went out for football because Joseph did (and Joseph did because that’s what upstanding young men do). They played together all four years, Barclays growth spurt rendering him doubly dangerous on defense and the dominant source of Joseph’s late-night fantasies. Joseph did debate club alone, but Barclay joined him for chess club. And when Barclay bought his car, his first stop was to take Joseph cruising, just the two of them.

Unluckily, Joseph’s never worked up the nerve to tell Barclay how he feels. This may be why he hasn’t had a date since the spring hop two years ago, while Barclay’s had quite a few (cheerleaders and band boys alike can’t seem to resist his physique and general gentleness).

That all changes today. Joseph slipped a note into Barclays locker right before lunch that conveyed all relevant information.

Dear you,

Drive in on Friday? We can park in the back row.

Love,

Joseph.

He’s sitting in his normal spot on the bench near the cafeteria, doing his best impersonation of someone who’s heart isn’t in his throat.

As he’s scanning the crowd, none other than Duck Newton begins weaving his way over to him, leather jacket reflecting the sun and his black hair combed back as always. Joseph was wary of him for years--as any good square is of kids from the rough side of town--until they got paired together in biology their senior year. Duck, who seems not to give a shit about school the rest of the time, is incredibly good at science. And he’s funny, nearly got them both kept after class for cracking a joke that made Joseph lose his breath laughing.

The problem is, right now he’s waving a very familiar piece of paper.

“Gotta say, I’m pretty fuckin flattered, Joe. But, uh” he leans on the table, smiling playfully, “I gotta make sure ‘Drid is okay with me playin backseat bingo with someone who ain’t him.”

“Um.” Joseph shakes his head, trying not to focus on the idea of Duck holding his head in his lap in the dark corner of the drive in, “I, I’m so sorry. I must have been nervous enough to put the note in the wrong locker. Not, not that you’re not a catch.”

Duck raises his eyebrow, “1650 or 1652?”

“1652.”

“Huh. Well, I got shop class with Barclay. You want me to just give it to him?”

“No.” Joseph holds out his hand.

Duck places the letter in it with a shrug, “Suit yourself, slick. See you later.”

Joseph rips the letter to shreds, tosses it in the trash, and hopes that’s the end of this humiliating error.

It’s not.

“Hello, Joseph.” Indrid Cold rests a shoulder on the locker next to his. There’s no one in Kepler High quite like him; his family moved from California three years ago, which most people use as the explanation for Indrid’s red glasses, crystal necklace, and pale hair that is always a quarter-inch shy of the principal writing him up for it. He’s never struck Joseph as the kind to fight, but he did mistakenly proposition his boyfriend three hours ago.

“Indrid. How can I help you?”

The taller boy hands him a folded slip of notebook paper, “By taking me up on this invitation.”

Before Joseph can ask any questions, Indrid is disappearing down the hall. The paper contains a hand drawn map to an X, under which is the word “Bash” but nothing else. Joseph has never been invited to any kind of party that needed a secret map. He mostly just gets invited to get togethers because he’s the captain of the football team. No one talks to him once he’s there. Well, except Barclay.

He stares at the map; he doesn’t have to be home until ten. He’s never going to get a chance to make the scene like this again.

Joseph shuts his locker and hurries to his car.

------------------------------------------------------

Indrid’s remarkably accurate map leads him to a dirt parking lot beneath the sign for Amnesty Point. As he follows the signs for the “beach house,” a Coaster’s song drifts through the air, underscored by splashes from the lake to his right. He’s deep in the woods on the wrong side of the tracks, but even so he’s unprepared for how everyone lounging around the weathered picnic tables on a shaded patio stops talking and stares at him.

“Who the fuck invited the square?” Someone whispers, making him wish he hadn’t left the map in the car.

“Joseph?”

He turns so fast the gravel flies. Barclay, clad in a grease-stained apron, is smiling so bright it evaporates his nervousness.

“Hi, big guy.”

His friend hoists him in a hug, “I’m so glad you’re here, Indrid said he invited you but I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

“He piqued my curiosity. Um, is this the new job you were so cagey about?”

“Yep. Mama--she runs this place--pays real well, but tries to keep Amnesty Point kinda secret. Cops just love busting places like this up for no reason.”

Joseph nods, still a little hurt Barclay didn’t trust him enough to share where he worked. His friend must notice the dip in his smile before he hides it, because he adds, “It’s gonna be even better working here now that you know where to find me. Listen, um, I gotta get back before Jake sets something on fire, but the burger stand closes at eight. I’ll come find you after that. Duck and Indrid are down by the dock, if you want company.”

He absolutely does, since the alternative is looking even more out of place by being the only person here alone.

When he hits the grey sand, Duck is just pulling himself back onto dry land. The half moon scars on his chest are the only reminders of the trip he took to San Francisco last summer.

“Glad you showed up, slick. Day like this, the water is the only nice place to be.”

“I wish I’d known, I would have brought my swim shorts.” Maybe if he rolls up his pant legs he can get some relief from the heat…

“Could just go in your boxers. I won’t tell.” Duck winks.

“Nothing is also allowed.” Indrid lilts, floating past on his back.

Joseph looks at him, then at the planks of the dock because Indrid is also demonstrating that second option without a care.

Duck snickers, “sugar, put somethin on, you’re scandalizin’ the poor guy.”

“Very well. But I demand help with the sunblock in payment for quashing my self-expression this way.”

“You’re soundin like your pops there, ‘Drid.”

“....ugh, you’re right.” A splash and the soft fwup of a towel, “alright, Joseph, I’m decent.” He is, but his swim shorts leave very little to the imagination. Joseph stares a moment too long, notices Duck smirking when he looks away.

The greaser holds out a bottle of sunblock and they get to work.

“Goddamn, this wouldn’t take so long if you weren’t so fuckin long everywhere.”

“You’ve never complained about that before.” Indrid grins, red sunglasses hiding his eyes. He doesn’t lift a finger to help them, but Duck seems to get a kick from it. Joseph wonders if he spoils Indrid like this in everything they do. If Indrid ever does it back.

(If either of them would do it for him).

They spend the evening talking, Duck skipping stones and Indrid sunning himself while Joseph dangles his legs in the water. When they get back to the beach house Joseph receives fewer stares, Duck and Indrid’s company substituting for cool. He and Duck get a real dinner, but Indrid opts to down three Cokes in place of a meal.

When Barclay closes up shop, he’s immediately at Joseph’s side. Joseph is about to suggest they all go for a walk when Indrid winks at Barclay and steers Duck towards the trees with a promise to see Joseph at school tomorrow.

“You get on okay while I was working?” Barclay starts them on a path towards the edge of the point.

“I did. It was actually really nice just to spend time talking with people who like me. Or at least don’t hate me enough to shove me in the water fully clothed.”

“Nah, they’re not those kind of guys. Hell, it was their idea to invite you here. I was, uh, I was too shy.”

He stops, turning to face Barclay, “what do mean?”

“Duck told me about the note.”

“Oh lord.”

“Not on purpose, he just mentioned he’d seen you and when I asked how you were doing, well, you know he can’t lie for shit. So Indrid suggested we invite you out here.”

“Out of pity?”

“No.” Barclay frowns, sets his hands on Joseph’s shoulders, “Joseph, why didn’t you just ask me out in person?”

“I was too nervous. I thought it might ruin everything.”

“Not a chance, blue eyes.” Barclay rumbles. Then he’s kissing him, gentle and slow, whimpering when Joseph kisses back and cups his face. When they part, he’s certain there’s nothing but air under his feet.

“Can we do that again?”

“Not tonight. Your curfew is still ten.”

“Shit, you’re right, if I don’t get on the road I’ll be late.”

“Lemme walk you to your car. I gotta hang around since I’m Indrid and Duck’s ride home tonight.”

“Do you want to go get them so we can all leave together?”

Barclay chuckles, tips his head towards the woods where a faint, rhythmic grunting cane be heard.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, not gonna ruin their fun.” He pulls Joseph into a much more heated kiss, then sighs, “get home safe, blue eyes.”

---------------------------------------------------------

Joseph suffered through both the personal hygiene class at school and his father’s lecture on what to expect now that he was truly a man. But nothing in either of those taught him what to do if he’s so hot under the collar he can’t focus but the guy who’s causing it won’t just fuck him.

He and Barclay have gone out every Friday for the last month, steaming up the car windows with their kissing sessions. They tried to work out who was supposed to give who their varsity jacket and settled on just trading, Joseph smiling whenever he spots Barclays name on his back. And Barclay tells everyone Joseph is his boyfriend with a level of pride he never gave their state football wins.

But he won’t go all the way with him. One Sunday afternoon they were listening to records in Barclays room when the larger boy rolled across the rug to straddle Joseph. His hands were hot and a little rough on his cock, Joseph moaning into his mouth as he came in under a minute. Before he could reciprocate, the front door banged open, announcing the return of Barclay’s parents. His boyfriend told him not to worry about it and kissed him on the cheek.

He’s worried Barclay loves him but doesn’t want him. He’s worried that if he ever does, Joseph will embarrass himself, be so inexperienced and inelegant he’ll turn him off forever. He wonders if he can entice Barclay to ask him to fuck so he doesn’t have to admit the embarssing intensity of his desire.

“Duck? Do you, um, do you think I’d look better if I dressed like you?”

The greaser looks up from his notes, “Maybe? I mean, I dress like this because I dig it. You wanna try it, go wild.”

Joseph nods, intending to drop it. Instead, he slows his stride by Duck during their laps in gym.

“It’s just, I’m worried I’m too square for anyone to be really into me.”

“Joe, what the fuck is this about?”

“Newton, I heard that! That’s an extra lap.”

“Son of uh, hold on, are you worried about Barclay? Because he’s so into your goody-goody thing I’m surprised he ain’t asked you to fuck him with your report card.”

“Stern, you’re done, get off the track!”

He jogs to the bleachers, Duck’s words rattling around long after he’s hit the locker room.

“You’re really worried about this, ain’t you? You’re smart, slick, but I swear sometimes you can’t see what’s right in front of you.” Duck is behind him, still in his gym clothes while Joseph is half changed out of them. They’re both dawdling, the locker room empty save for some other stragglers near the bathroom.

“Duck, if I were in high demand, I’d be getting more, um, attention than I-”

His sentence is cut short by Duck yanking him down into a kiss, lips salty with sweat and so demanding Joseph wants to get on his knees.

Duck pulls back, pats his cheek, “Like I said; right in front of you.”

With that he waves and leaves the room the back way. Joseph can’t even be mad for cutting school; right now, he’s almost ready to follow him.

-------------------------------------------------

“I really must thank you again.” Indrid clears the low table of his math notes, “my focus is such that I struggle with math much more than I’d like. Having someone sit and walk me through it in a calm setting helps a great deal.”

“I’m always happy. Barclay can too, if you ever can’t get a hold of me.”

“Oh, I know he can. He helped me last year.” Indrid stretches his legs; they’re on the floor of his VW Westfalia. His parents let him live in it on the property behind their one-story house as long as he continues to be a cooperative member of the household.

“I didn’t know that.”

“It was only a few times, though he often lingered when we were through.” Indrid’s emphasis makes Joseph blush.

“Duck and I weren’t going steady yet. And my cocksucking skills are not the stuff of legend for nothing.” Indrid smiles, dreamily.

“Oh. Um.” Joseph shifts his notebook into his lap.

Indrid sits up straighter, “I apologize. I, ah, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not sure that’s what this is.”

Indrid cocks his head, “No? Envy perhaps? After all, you’ve had years to dream about him, to hope you’d be the first, and here comes a skinny little freak from the coast to beat you to it.”

“You’re not a freak” Joseph says softly, “I, I can’t say I blame Barclay for taking you up on it.”

“He does have excellent taste” Indrid looks pointedly over his glasses at him. The heat under his skin doubles as Indrid crawls forward, “you know, Duck and I have an...understanding. But if you and Barclay do not, I can stop. I mean, I can stop regardless, if you don’t want this.” He lowers to his belly between Joseph’s legs, nuzzles his fly with a hum.

“I, I--ohlord” He moans when Indrid mouths at his slacks; he’s getting hard, if he had his way he’d lay down and let Indrid suck him off until he came on his glasses. But he knows he won’t enjoy it if he isn’t sure how Barclay feels.

“I, we should stop. Please.”

Indrid sits up, smiling, “Of course. Would you like to stay for dinner? My mother is making fish stew instead of tofu salad for once.”

“...I’d love to.”

---------------------------------------------

“I didn’t know Amnesty owned all this.” Joseph let’s Barclay guide him through the trees.

“Yeah, Mama’s family bought it years ago and she’s hung onto it through some seriously nasty shit. Hah, there they are.” Barclay waves to Duck and Indrid, resting against each other on a massive, checkered blanket. His boyfriend sets the picnic basket down and then, confusingly, turns off the lantern Duck brought.

“Okay, baby, there’s something I’ve got to ask” Barclay looks at him, “do you think I don’t wanna make it with you?”

“Truthfully? Yes. You, you’ve barely gone beyond some heavy petting, meanwhile Indrid was offering to blow me.” He slaps a hand over his mouth; there go all three of these relationships.

Barclay shrugs, “He told me about that.”

“Honesty is important. Most of the time.” Indrid grins.

“Blue eyes, I’m crazy about you. I’ve just been going slow because I was afraid I’d stress you out. I know how you get, Joseph. You put so much pressure on yourself to do everything right, I was worried you’d try so hard to be perfect for me that you wouldn’t enjoy it at all.”

Joseph stares into deep brown eyes, eyes he’s loved since he was a boy. Then he laughs softly, rests his head on Barclay’s shoulder, “You really do know me well, you know that.”

“Oh, oh baby” Barclay holds him closer, “you really think there was a way of touching me that’d disappoint me? Fuck, just getting to kiss you makes me the happiest guy in the state.”

“That being said” Duck drawls, “aint there somethin about practice makin perfect?”

“I, are, is this really what you three want?”

“Yes” Indrid nods, “but if you don’t, well, we shall never speak of it again.”

“I do. Sweet fucking christ I do.” He kisses Barclay ferociously as the other two scoot closer.

“Hmm, I believe we should let seniority decide. Barclay, what’s your preference?”

His boyfriend pulls back, kissing his jaw, “Do you wanna blow me, blue eyes?”

“So badly.”

“That settles that. Duck, what about--ah, I see you’re already taking off your pants, so I guess you’re fucking hm. He’s fucking you? Ah, semantics.” Indrid waves his hand dismissively.

“Wait, does, do we have a rubber?”

Duck pulls one from his wallet, “never leave to see this one without one. I know how he is.”

Indrid pecks his cheek, then grins, “I believe, Joseph, that leaves me to help you with your hand jobs.”

“Fuck, yes.”

“On your back, baby.” Barclays nudges him and he falls onto the blanket. For a moment only the trees and stars look down on him; then Barclays face fills his vision as his hands open his fly and guide his cock out.

“AHshit, shit that’s good.” He bucks as his boyfriend jerks him off steadily, his cock standing at attention in a matter of seconds.

“Okay big fella, you go get your dick sucked.” Duck straddles him. He’s down to only his undershirt, his muscular thighs, soft belly, and strong arms on full displays as he rolls the condom down.

“You’re so handsome” Joseph sighs.

Duck seems to blush, “Thanks, slick. Not bad yourself.”

“I mean it, really, you’re incredible” he paws his legs, grabs his shirt and pulls him down into the kiss. Duck giggles into his mouth, then sinks down onto his cock. Joseph decides he is never, never letting go of the man above him; his weight is so comforting, his body so perfect, the way his laughs morph into moans so charming.

“G-great thing about this position” Duck gasps, “is you don’t gotta do much besides let me ride you. That’s why it’s ‘Drid’s favorite.”

“Second favorite; you on my face is my first. Speaking of which” he kneels, gently lifts Joseph’s head into his hands while Barclay sits cross-legged on the other side of his head. His cock is thick and long, so mouthwatering Joseph opens his mouth without being told.

“Fuck, baby, wanted this so long.” Barclay guides his cock between his lips when Indrid turns his head. The skinnier man keeps supporting him as his tongue registers skin, sweat, Barclay and he whines for more.

“Easy, blue eyes, fuck, you’re doing great.”

“I’ll say. Fuck, can’t believe you been keepin this dick all to yourself, Joe.”

“I got my haAAnds on it once.”

“Clearly you should have done it more” Indrid purrs, hips moving slightly, “as soon as someone plays with it, he sucks cock very nicely.”

“No fuckin kiddin. Baby, baby, yeah, suck like that.”

Indrid shifts behind him, “Barclay, hold him a moment, there’s been a change of plans.” A zipper goes as Barclay cradles him. Then Indrid’s fingers are back, turning him to face a second, narrower cock.

“Handjobs can wait.” Indrid pulls him forward, moaning high when he sucks the head, “oooh, yes, that’s it.”

“Fuck, I’m gonna fuckin combust watchin you do that.” Duck bounces more deliberately and Joseph yelps joyfully around Indrid’s cock. He’s already close to cumming, the feeling of Duck around him and Indrid inside him flooding the rest of him with pleasure.

Indrid pulls his head back, starts to turn him towards Barclays, when it punches through him. He moans, pushes up into Duck as the shorter man laughs.

“I, I came first, I’m sorry, this is one of the things-”

“Shush” Barclay helps him up as Duck climbs of him, “that was fucking incredible, and you’re not done yet.”

“On your knees, facing us. Unless, sweetheart, do you-”

Duck’s hand is already between his legs, “I’m gonna enjoy the show.”

“Mmm, which means I get to enjoy you enjoying it. Barclay, turn slightly, like this.”

“Why, oh, oh I got it, fuck, you’re a fucking genius.”

Joseph agrees, though he’s going a bit cross-eyed. So he closes them, lets first Indrid and then Barclay press their cock into his mouth. It’s a stretch, his jaw aching instantly, but it’s the best he’s ever felt. They can’t push more than the heads in, so he concentrates on sucking and licking, pre-cum collecting on his tongue and spit seeping down his chin. Duck grunts behind him, offering running commentary on Indrid’s appearance and Joseph's voice. Barclay shoves both hands into his hair while Indrid keeps one on his cock.

“Fuck, fuck, Joseph, baby, this is fucking aces, gonna paint your whole fucking stomach white.”

“Ahnnn, agreed” Indrid pants, “your mouth was made for this, ohyes, that’s it, mmm, this is even better, feeling your cock against mine dearest, oh, oh” Indrid cums, bitterness hitting his tongue, and when he tries to swallow he gasps and gags instead.

“Fuck” Barclay grunts and then another burst of cum fills his mouth. He gasps for air as they pull out, sending some down his chin. He wipes ineffectively at it with the back of his hand.

“Here” Duck, underwear back on, cleans his lips with a napkin.

“Th-thank you.”

“Of course.” Duck kisses him as Indrid flops on his belly and Barclay curls his arms around Joseph.

“Gotta say, blue eyes, don’t think you got anything to worry about when it comes to making it good for me. Or, uh, us.”

“No, I don’t think I do.” Joseph rests against him, then jolts up, “shit, what time is it?”

“Ten.”

“Shit!”

“Don’t worry” Indrid nestles next to his knees, “we’ll say I had car trouble and you two came to my aid.”

Joseph relaxes back among his boyfriends, “Good call. Just, um, don’t let Duck talk?”

“Only if I get an extra kiss for keepin my mouth shut.”

“Deal.”

#OT4: Government Men and There Cryptid Boyfriends #Indruck #agent stern/duck newton #sternclay #50s au #inclay #meet ugly #reader request #trans duck newton

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queensofthekastle · 3 years

Note

For the dialogue prompt -- how's about 42?? :]

HOLY SHIT OK IT TOOK ME A MONTH BUT I'VE DONE IT. FINALLY. Life was just happening everywhere, thanks for waiting me out. 🙏

TW: descriptions and references to racist police violence.

The prompt was "I'm only here to establish an alibi." I was totally stuck--what could be blamed on Frank that he wouldn't have actually done? Canonically to the comics (though I commend the show for not giving a flying fuck about whether Frank went after glorified DHS cops who were dirty) the only things Frank won't touch are bystanders, cops, and active duty military.

And then I had it. Because 2020 has been A Year and I'm still processing some shit. So, here we go.

-Stellar

************************************

The door rattles under a succinct knock at 2:45 am—just when Karen had been so close to falling asleep, caught in that limbo of vague consciousness and wandering thoughts just on the cusp of falling into dreams. So, it’s with more irritation than concern that she drags herself out of bed after the second round of door-bludgeoning. It being post-closing time on a Friday—well, Saturday now—she's fairly confident what she’ll find through the peephole will be a drunk neighbor with the wrong apartment. It wouldn’t be the first time, nor, probably, the last.

A cautious look through the peephole does not reveal one of her gregarious bar-hopping neighbors though, but a still figure; hood pulled close around his face to shadow shifting eyes that look black as ink in the low, shit light of the apartment hallway. Frank has a lovely mouth, but it’s set now in a tense line. Karen’s heart picks up speed, a fullness in her chest and a pressure in her veins—middle of the night, tense Frank is never a good sign. Though he doesn’t seem to be bleeding from anywhere, which is more than can be said for some of his other visits.

She undoes the door chain, and she’s quietly but earnestly asking “what’s going on?” before she even has the door open wide enough for him to see her face.

“Nothing.” He says, voice rough and low, but calm. “I just need someone to know it’s nothing.”

He looks askance, looks at her. She allows herself a sigh.

“What does that even mean, Frank?”

He shifts his weight and looks at her from under the shadow of his hood.

“I’m only here to establish an alibi.”

“Because you didn’t do something, or because you did?”

“Didn’t,” he says, and she believes him. She always does. It’s one piece of why he’s so dear to her: Frank never lies to her, and she never lies to him.

“This should be interesting,” she says, and opens the door far enough for him to step through. When she’s closed it behind him she asks if he’d like a drink. He answers without looking her in the eye, mind working on something else far away from her little apartment—he asks for his usual, of course. Only Frank would suggest coffee this near to 3:00 am.

“Not sleeping tonight?” she asks. He shrugs one shoulder.

“Guess not.”

“Uh-huh. So you didn’t do anything, but you’re pulling an all-nighter in my apartment? I’m going to need an explanation here soon, Frank.”

He hovers beside the hutch that acts as her kitchen island without looking any more settled than he had out in the hall. His jaw works for a moment before he answers.

“I don’t know how much you want to know. Let's just say I ran into someone with a mission about like mine and I’m giving her space to work.”

“Oh. God. A Punisher copycat? Jesus, Frank. The law turns a blind eye to one of you, I doubt you’ll get away with two.”

“Nah,” he says, “nothing like that. I’m it. This is a one-time thing—lady's got some things to get out of her system. I only found out because she was after the same supply chain I was.”

“Supply chain?”

“Ammo,” he says flatly. Karen holds her next blink a little too hard and a little too long. But he is what he is—she accepts that again every time she opens her door to him—and she doesn’t comment except to ask:

“Who is this person after that you aren’t?”

“It’s probably better you don't ask. If someone comes sniffing after me about it you should be able to say you didn’t know anything.”

“So if one of your Homeland ‘friends' shows up to see if you’re testing their good graces what do I tell them, then? That you just showed up at three in the morning for a chat? No one is going to buy that.”

He shifts, not quite shrugging, looking off into space with the raised eyebrows of feigned innocence.

“Just say I saw your light on, came to say hi.”

“Right. And you were walking around Hell’s Kitchen to see my light on in the first place because . . .?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Hoping maybe if I tried my luck with a walk I’d find you up.”

Karen sighs, turning away to pour his coffee. She’s made it thick as hot asphalt for him, in part because she knows he likes that, in part because she’s so damn tired she’d lost track of how many grounds she was piling into the coffeemaker. Frank takes the mug she offers him with a low “thank you.” And sure enough, after a sip, he smiles.

“You always make my kind of coffee,” he says.

“It’s an easy recipe,” she says, leaning over the counter opposite him, “just make it so no sane person would drink it.”

He laughs, a very short, low sound that rumbles in his chest and rasps in his throat.

“Dare I ask what you were actually in the neighborhood for?” She asks. “If insomnia is your alibi?”

“Probably shouldn't. Let’s just say I had a meeting.”

Karen quirks an eyebrow, conveying as much skepticism with the look as she can.

“Meeting as in you’re probably accessory to whatever it is this friend of yours is doing?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

Karen fixes him with her best piercing journalist stare. He drinks his coffee. They stalemate that way in silence for a minute or so before he meets her eyes and speaks.

“There are some things I don’t touch,” he says. “People doing their jobs, following shit orders and shit training and fucking up in the process—shit I’ve done, Afghanistan . . . I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. Would be a hypocrite. It’s not my place. And I guess you could call it self-preservation, too. Doesn’t mean I don’t think about it, though.”

“Think about…?”

He takes a long drink, eyeing her over the top of the mug, making some calculation she can’t guess at.

“You know any Latin?” he says finally. “Quis custodiet ipsos custodes mean anything to you?”

It does, and for a moment, she’s sure her heart has stopped.

“Oh, no,” she says. “Who watches the watchmen. Tell me this is what I think it is.”

“I’m not telling you anything, don’t worry.”

“Frank,” she hisses. She doesn’t need his sarcasm right now. She thinks she knows what it could be that he won’t touch and still endorse: with Frank it’s always either war or justice, and every headline for the last month has been about the absence of justice on a battlefield where he could never hope to win. Cops in the city conveniently overlook Frank. He gets the ones they can’t, they have no vested interest in handing him over so long as he doesn’t mess with them. It’s an unspoken arrangement that lets Frank do what he does—and what he does lets him stand to live. Karen knows that. They’ve been over it enough. The police let Frank slip through their fingers and he doesn’t pick a fight in exchange.

But it’s been a long summer, and every day of it has been a fight with police for the thousands of protesters gathering over and over throughout the city. In early June a beat cop—White, of course—used a kind of handheld Taser repeatedly on an unarmed Black man “resisting arrest" for a crime he didn’t commit. Cell phone footage from witnesses made it online despite the NYPD's best efforts, and all anyone saw when watching it wasn’t a criminal resisting, but a victim on his knees, clutching his chest, begging please, please, I have a heart condition, I have a pacemaker, before the cop shocked him again. And again. Until he wasn’t on his knees but prone on the ground, gone still and silent.

The officer was reinstated after a paid leave six days ago. The DA declined to prosecute.

And yesterday, the innocent man, having spent weeks in a coma induced by heart failure, was declared dead.

Frank looks Karen hard in the eye, an unflinching stare that says he knows she understands. She puts her face in her hands.

“There’s shitstorm coming, isn’t there?” she says.

“Probably.”

She shakes her head, drops it into her hands again. She can feel him watching her. A minute ticks by. Maybe two.

“Karen.”

She lifts her eyes just enough to meet his.

“You feel you gotta do something with this?” he asks. It neither a judgement nor a threat. She worries her lip for a moment before answering.

“This person you know of,” she says slowly, “they won’t implicate you?”

“No.”

“And do you know enough of their plan that you could stop them? Tip someone off?”

He takes a long drink, holding her with those deep inkdark eyes, and for the first time, he lies to her.

“No. Nothing.”

She knows it’s a lie. She knows he wants her to know. She could call him on it and he wouldn’t deny it. But she doesn’t.

All she says is “then I guess there’s nothing we could do,” holding his eyes while she speaks, making sure he understands what’s happening here.

Frank nods. It’s enough.

Karen looks away, stares at her hands folded in front of her, tracing the patterns of veins under pale skin.

After a moment she asks, “would you like anything stronger?”

Frank looks at her with cool appraisal that says what he won’t out loud—that somehow, on some level, he helped with what’s to come. And he knows she’s letting him get away with it.

“No thanks,” he says. “But you go ahead.”

And she does. She falls asleep beside him on the couch, drunk with her head resting on his shoulder, sometime after 4:30, an economy bottle of wine that started full and is now half gone still out on the coffee table.

On Monday, Ellison will ask her to look into the story of a body found charred beyond recognition in an NYPD patrol car.

She’ll tell him there was nothing she could dig up, and never mention it again.

#kastle #kastle fic #BLM motherfuckers #queensfic #someday someone at Marvel will have the guts to put Frank up against a precinct of horrible cops #and on that day my only request is they let Garth Ennis write it

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buildmeafairytale · 4 years

Text

Female Reader x Female Harpy

Just finished up this request for @featherynutcase for a harpy soulmate AU. Hope you guys like it!

The Rushing Isles had come by the name quite honestly - a thought you often had when trying to make your way through the docks. Taking a shortcut through the markets always seemed like a good idea, but yet here you are, trying to convince the old women of the port city that you do not need to be set up with their nephews from the neighboring isles.

Truthfully, the idea of their nephews had become a bit less repulsive with time. Most of the people you’ve grown up with have seen their soulmate’s footprints, shining like a prism and beckoning them to their other halves long ago. You have not been so lucky. You’ve seen prints, shining and glowing like all the stories say, but you wouldn’t exactly call them feet. Claws would be a much better description. That never deterred you, and on the rare occasions that you saw the prints you would follow them, only to be disappointed when they would abruptly end.

“I wonder how appalled the old women would be if I asked if they had any handsome nieces who were single, instead?” you mumble under your breath.

You dodge your way out of the crowd and make your way down the sand worn steps that bring you closer to the beach partially hidden by tall rock structures. This has always been one of your favorite hide-aways; whether you were brushed aside by other children for being more plump, or being relentlessly questioned by your family about your apparent lack of a soulmate, this spot is always a comfort. You had brought a bag full of snacks and other things to keep you occupied, and were fully prepared to spend the better part of the day on the beach.

That was the plan,at least, until you saw the claw marks in the sand.

The same thing happens every time you manage to catch a glimpse of the claw prints.

Your heart starts racing, your palms get sweaty, and no matter how many times you have been disappointed, (this time would make thirty-two attempts at following the marks, but who’s counting) you are unable to stop yourself from thinking ‘this is it, I will finally get to meet them’.

You follow the prints, your fast walk slowly building into the crescendo of a sprint, your white dress flowing behind you. You round the corner of a boulder and are at the face of a shallow cave with the waves lapping at the mouth of it. The prints had not stopped yet, and you had your head down, concentrating on them. So concentrated on the luminous prints, in fact, that you almost ran right into the one who made them. Had it not been for their shocked gasp and the shuffling noise they made, you would have collided with them. You looked up, and your deep brown eyes met their shining amber ones. Your feet were rooted to the spot, and your mouth opened and closed a few times, no sound escaping you.

She was gorgeous, ethereal, otherworldly. You could know every word in your language and then some and still not be able to express how beautiful you found her. She was a harpy, you had grown up hearing stories of the winged creatures that lived on the highest peaks of the island, making their homes above the clouds. None had ever expressed how lovely they were with their brown wings and feathers lining parts of their body. You see their claws, the claws that had left the prints leading you to them. They were sharp and deadly, but delicate in their danger. Around her claws, the prismatic light that signified one's soulmate was concentrated.

The silence was broken by a pained squawk emitted from your soulmate. Her wings flapping as she shuffled back, putting more distance between the two of you. She heaved out a sob, and started to wail.

“No! No, no this wasn’t supposed to happen, you weren’t supposed to see me! Oh my winds, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Leave, and forget you ever saw me here Nuccia!” She refused to look at you, and you started forward as if to offer her comfort.

“What do you mean I wasn’t-how do you know my name?” You asked her, suddenly shocked. “You knew! You had seen me before and knew? And you didn’t think to introduce yourself? I have looked for you for so long, and you knew this and continued to be purposefully elusive to me?” You could not, try as you might, keep the anger out of your voice. She was obviously distressed, but now so were you. Tears of hurt and anger filled your eyes. Your whole life you have been too much for so many people, have felt out of place and unwanted. You were too plump, or too dark, or too opinionated. Now here you were, in front of the one being on this planet that you were made to love and be loved by, and she didn’t want you.

Her eyes widened and she whimpered, her flustered form looking for an escape the cave denied to her. You grew determined, and placed yourself even more in front of the entrance. Fine, she didn’t want you. But that didn’t mean you were going to leave without some answers, she owed you that much, soulmate or not. Your hands came to rest on your hips, and you measured at her.

“Well, go on then. If you’re going to reject me or tell me how you never wanted me, go ahead. An explanation on why you haven’t earlier also seems warranted, hmm?” You ask, trying to convey an attitude of indifference you didn’t particularly have.

The harpy looked horrified at this, scrambling even more. Sounds left her that had you wanting to cover your ears, horrible squawks that had no business coming from the one you wished to hold. She folded in on herself, her winged arms coming to shield the majority of her face and upper body from you. This pulled at your heartstrings, and a bit of your resolve crumbled away. You were torn between approaching her or letting her calm herself; while you were trying to decide a course of action, she pulled her winds away and managed to draw in a deep, shuddering breath. Her words spilled out quickly, as if she could not bear to keep them contained any longer.

“I wasn’t going to reject you, I wanted to avoid you rejecting me. I wanted to be human before I introduced myself. This is all wrong! It wasn’t supposed to be this way!” Her voice cracked, volume rising again.

“You wanted to be human? Why on earth would you do that?” You could not keep the confusion out of your voice.

“You’re human and I’m a giant bird! You’re so lovely and I just wanted you to like me. I was supposed to meet a witch to help me change, but they said it’s a lost cause and I’ll never be human. I was here moping when you found me.” Her gaze was cast down, claws tracing shapes in the sand.

You walked over to her, holding her face in your hands.

“You are my soulmate,” you said, vehemently, “You are you for a reason, and you, like this, are the other half of me. Don’t you dare think you have to change to be worthy of me.” Your hands come to rest at your sides, and you take a step back. You try not to let her awed expression distract you from what you have to say. “I have been trying so hard to find you, and every single time I saw your prints abruptly end, I felt less and less worthy. I felt as though the universe was playing a trick on me. But instead, you were hiding. It is a relief knowing that it wasn’t because you didn’t want me, though. I can only be so upset at you for this, now that I am finally in your presence.” You let her process her thoughts, seeing that she is still shocked and anxious by this turn of events. A part of you wanted to comfort her, assure her that she is the most beautiful creature you had ever seen, while another part of you wanted her to comfort you, instead; to take you in her arms and tell you that she was mistaken for hiding from you, that she would never reject you.

“You aren’t...afraid of me, Nuccia?” She softly inquired, peeking up from her feathered lashes.

“That's all you got from all that? Why on earth would I be afraid of the most beautiful person I’ve ever had the privilege of laying my eyes on? And again, you call me by name but have not yet graced me with yours.” You reply to her, equally amused and exasperated with her.

“Oh-I’m sorry, dear one. My name Enora. You think I’m beautiful?” She whispers, a taloned hand coming up to caress your cheeks.

“As dramatic as you are beautiful, it looks like. My, my, it looks like I’ll have my hands full, good thing I have two,” you tease, gazing up at her, suddenly giddy with affection. You might have still been upset with her, and you will have to

talk it out with her later, but you aren’t going to let that sully your first real meeting.

You manage to calm her a bit, and knock her out of the stupor she seems to be in. You enjoy how red her face and chest get while you flirt with her, the effect you have going to your head.

“It seems I picked the perfect day for a beach day then,” you say, showing her the picnic basket you had dropped upon seeing her. You pull out the small finger foods and wine you had brought, setting up a beach blanket by the mouth of the cave. Maybe she would stay, and you could drink wine and watch the sunset together. Your heart beat faster at this thought, already allowing these romantic notions to float about in your head. You settle onto the blanket, hoping she would sit with you and not fly off now that you aren’t blocking the exit.

What is likely only a minute feels like an eternity, but Enora settles next to you, her spine rigid and legs crossed. You offer her some food, many things she admits she has not tried before. You watch her try the new things that you provided, and something about taking care of her in this way feels very right. Her feathers brush against you, tickling your skin. The two of you spend the day getting to know each other better. She stays for the sunset, much to your delight. You felt clingy, and did not want to part ways with her. But, the sun was going down and you figured it was time to get back home, and Enora was getting antsy, informing you her family would start looking for her.

“Will you...come back?” she asks, her eyes wide, and a clawed finger gliding down your arm. Now that she has winded down and started to understand you want her, she has been flirting, her own version of being coy. You were soaking up the attention, and she continued. “I would very much like to see you again, dear one. I have a lot of making up to do, after all.” Her claw comes to your chin, turning your face to hers.

“You’re done running from me then?” You tease her, inching your face closer to her’s.

“Yes dear one, I swear it,” her breath is ghosting across your lips, and all you can hear is blood rushing in your ears. Your hand comes up to the back of her neck, and you close the gap, gently brushing your lips against hers. A sweet trilling noise escapes her, and you smile into it. All too soon it ends, and you agree to keep meeting in the same spot.

You show up the next day and head into the cave. You peek around the corner, and you see Enora, pacing. That is not all you see; there are blankets and pillows arranged like a nest, flowers, and a bottle of wine set out.The nest is near the mouth of the cave, the perfect spot to be sheltered from any winds but a good view of the ocean and coming sunset. She still hasn’t spotted you, and she heads towards the nest, fluffing and rearranging the blankets to her liking. You come up behind her, and trace your fingertips down her spine, greeting her with an airy “Hello” as she jumps. She smiles at you, her spine straightening and her hands clasped behind her back. She greets you and clears her throat, looking nervously from you to the nest.

“You surprised me dear one, I was not expecting you quite yet. I hope this does not seem too forward, but nest making is a large step in harpy courting and something I wished to do for you.” She announced this so nervously, but if it was a large step for her you could see why. You assure her it looks beautiful, and you can’t wait to try it. You see her blush, and you decide to keep laying on the compliments, running your hands over the blankets and telling her how good of a job she has done. The more you go on, the redder her face seems to become, much to your delight. When you slip your sandals off and crawl into the nest, the same awe struck look takes over her face from the day prior. She follows you in, and brings your hand to her face.

“You have no idea what seeing you in here does to me, do you?” She asks, and you run your fingertips over her lips, fascinated at the way her breath catches when you do this.

“I think I could guess. It’s probably similar to my feeling knowing you went to all this trouble for me.” You reply to her, once again feeling trapped in her eyes. The two of you share another kiss, the trills and sweet noises leaving her only encouraging you. Her claws ghost across your neck and send a chill down your spine. She leans you back into the nest, wings opening above you and closing you in. She is trembling above you, and you can see tears in her eyes when you part.

“No sweetheart, none of that now. What’s wrong?” you ask her, heart clenching.

“I was a fool, I waited so long for nothing, and we could have been here years ago!” she sniffles, angry at herself and her actions.

“Hush darling, we’re here now aren’t we?” You coo at her, running your hands through her hair. You have known her for such a short time, yet she already holds your heart in her hands. One of your legs comes up around her waist, pulling her close again. Enora quickly gets lost in your kisses again, and you feel some of her stress melt away under your hands.

This goes on, the two of you sharing stolen moments together and heated kisses in the cave. You both incorporate some of your own courting customs, so far your favorite of which is when she does an aerial dance for you. She tells you that harpies usually do it together, but she happily tweaked it and you were impressed all the same. The next day you showed her a popular island dance, and you swayed together to the sound of the waves outside.

One day you are on your way to the cave, dinner in tow, when you spot not one, but two harpies on the beach near the mouth of your cave. Neither of them are your harpy, however, and you grow anxious hoping Enora is alright. She did not speak of how other harpies would feel about her soulmate being human, but you were hoping you weren’t about to run into trouble. You get closer and the harpies spot you, both taking off and quickly landing in front of you. They circle you and you feel like prey, one behind you and one in front. They are both larger than Enora, and male. If you had to guess you would say they are twins, but you are hardly able to concentrate on their looks. No matter what species you are, having two large men circling you is nerve inducing.

“So you’re our little Ennies’s mate, huh?” The first asks, his voice deep.

“You aren’t very tall, she must have her hands full protecting you.” The second observes, making his way around you.

“She’s been coming home all starry eyed and happy, haven’t seen that in her in years.” One tuts at you, and you feel pride swell in your chest amidst the confusion.

“We had to come follow her, find out where our little sister was sneakin’ off to so much.” The other interjects.

You’re overwhelmed, but relief floods through you. These are Enora’s brothers, and you doubt they would do anything to you. You’re just getting a very intense shovel talk, it seems. You start to interject yourself into the talking, going to introduce yourself, when an outraged squawk fills the air and Enora and another smaller harpy land.

“What on earth are you doing? You used Glaucus to distract me to come here and try to intimidate her! And I’m not your baby sister, I’m five years older than you two!” She reprimands them, walking up to them both and grabbing them by the ears. “Now, go home to mother before she starts to worry where you went. And do not follow me here again!”

“Aw Ennie, but you’re smaller than us so you’re our little sister.” The twin pouts on their faces at being reprimanded are adorable, and now you can see it. You stifle a giggle, and spot the youngest harpy, Glaucus, looking ashamed.

“Yeah, just wanted to make sure she’s good enough for our little sister,” the other twin echos, being pulled down to her level by the ear. She walks them away from you, and you hear them yell that it was nice to meet you. You return the sentiment, a smile on your face, and wave to them as they leave. Glaucus takes off before Enora comes back, shouting a goodbye.

She walks back to you, her eyes aflame. She grabs your hands, and starts to apologize. “I’m so sorry dear one, they can be quite intense. Are you alright? I’m so embarrassed.” You giggle, and assure her that you’re fine.

“They’re just looking out for you, I’m not mad. I was a bit intimidated at first but they seem nice! Don’t be too harsh on them, love.” You kiss her cheek, and pull her into your nest, and Enora abruptly stops grumbling about her brothers. She looks at you, her eyes wide and lips parted.

“Do you? Love me, I mean.” She asks, whispering. Your face gets red and you realize what you’ve said. It’s true though, you love her.

“Yes, I do.” You whisper back, throat tight with emotion.

“I love you too Nuccia. I have for so long, you amazing creature.” She pulls you onto her lap, your thighs bracketing her underneath you. You have never felt so at home as you do in the arms of your soulmate.

#monsterlover #monstergirlfriend #female reader x female monster #harpy girlfriend

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omni-scient-pan-da · 4 years

Text

And They Were Oar-Mates

A Fic About The Oars by omni-scient-pan-da

Except their story is ever so slightly different because they're people since I really have no clue how to start a love story between two typically inanimate objects (Edit: Find All Parts HERE)

They had known each other since they were children.

Grown up in the same forest, two boys, growing up side by side. They started off as friends, both too scared to confess their feelings to one another, til the day their home was invaded, the trees cut down, and their small little town invaded by warlocks and barbarians alike, the now 20 something best friends afraid for their lives.

"... Ian?" Rowan asked as the trees around them got cut down one by one, invaders storming into their once peaceful viliage. "What's going to happen to us?"

"... I don't know Row," Killian told him, sounding nervous for once in his life. "I... I don't know."

"If we're going to die... Then... Then I'm really glad I got to know you," Rowan replied, scared for their lives.

"Row... I... I need to tell you something... If... If this is the end..."

"Y-yeah?" Rowan asked him, terrified of what his best friend and longtime crush might say.

"... I love you Row... I always have... You're my best friend and I... I don't want to die without telling you how much I love you," Killian said, terrified to hear Rowan's response.

Rowan sniffled, "Y-you do?" He asked, his voice small with a hint of hope hidden in his tone.

"Yeah... I have since we were children I think... I couldn't have asked for someone better to grow up with," Killian told him.

"I love you too," Rowan responded, almost immediately. "I wish I would've known sooner... I wish I would've had the guts to tell you sooner... I wish we weren't about to die..." Rowan sounded like he was on the verge of tears and Killian's heart felt like it was about to burst.

Killian wrapped his arms around him holding him tightly. "At least if we're about to die, we can die together."

Rowan hugged him back before cupping his face in his hands and kissing him softly.

And when the invaders found their viliage, that was how they found them. The two young men caught in a passionate embrace, holding each other close because they had nothing left to lose, trying to convey years of pining into the few moments the two of them had left together.

The door flung open and a warlock stormed in, one of the most notorious warlocks in all the land to beat. And yet, he was shocked to see the two young men in each other's arms, paying him no attention.

"Do you not care that these will be your final moments?" The warlock asked the two of them as they finally pulled away for air.

Tears streamed down Rowan's face "If these are to be my last moments, then there is nothing else I'd rather be doing."

Killian gripped his lover's hand tightly, staring at the warlock with defiance in his eyes. "If you're here to kill us, do us in already, at least we'll die together after so many years apart."

The warlock just laughed. "Kill you? No, no, no dear boy... That spark in your eyes... You are far more useful to me alive than dead."

Rowan squeezed Killian's hand tightly. "S-so then... Then what are you going to do with us?" He asked the warlock.

"I'll offer you a deal," the warlock told them both. "Either I can kill you now," he gestured to Rowan, "And train you as my warrior," he gestured to Killian.

"Not an option," Killian told him with a glare. "I'd sooner kill myself then train with the man that killed my favorite person in the world."

The warlock laughed, a neon green flame sprouting from his right hand. It didn't seem to burn or hurt him, despite the fact that it had enveloped his hand completely. "So it'll be option two then?"

"Wait, what's option two?" Rowan asked him.

"You both can live, I'll even help you escape from these barbarians that insist on pillaging every viliage they come across."

"... What's the catch?" Killian asked.

"One day, it could be a week from now, it could be years from now, it could be never, I will ask for your help in battle. You will have half an hour to say your goodbyes and then my magic will instantly transport you to my side and you will be my faithful bodyguard for the rest of your mortal life." The warlock told Killian.

Rowan gasped. "Ian... You, you can't do this..."

Killian looked at Rowan, his best friend, the love of his life. Those blue eyes that he had grown up with, fallen in love with, and Rowan's terrified expression and knew that he couldn't let him die. No matter what Killian had to sacrifice, he would do anything to protect Row.

"... I accept," he told the warlock. "Help me and Row get out of hear alive, and when you call for me, I... I'll dedicate the rest of my life to protecting you."

"Killian!" Rowan gasped. "You can't, there has to be another way!"

Killian winced slightly, Rowan only ever used his full name if he was upset with him. "... I have to Row."

Killian turned towards the warlock. "So, do we have a deal?"

The warlock offered him his right hand, still covered in that bright green glowing fire. "All you have to do is shake on it boy."

Before Rowan could stop him, Killian reached forward and shook the warlock's hand, surprised that he didn't get burned by the flames, but that was what happened when you made magical deals with a warlock he supposed.

Rowan choked back a sob, wrapping his arms around Killian tightly as a poof of green smoke filled the room around them, the deal and Killian's fate both sealed.

"I don't want to lose you..." Rowan told him between his tears.

"I know..." Killian told him, rubbing his back softly. "But this way, we'll have some time together... And I'll know you're safe."

Rowan just clinged to him tighter and the two boys held each other for a moment before the warlock cleared his throat.

"Are you two ready to get a move on?" He asked.

True to his word, the warlock helped them escape safely and undetected, and Rowan and Killian managed to flee to the nearest city and seek refuge.

Every day, Rowan was scared he'd wake up and Killian would be gone, taken from him forever, but the two of them were able to live together for years without incident.

It was Killian that proposed, a week before Rowan was planning to.

"Y-you... You want to marry me?" Rowan asked him, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Row... Who else would I want to spend the rest of my life with?"

Rowan hugged him tightly, "I love you so much Ian... Of course I want to marry you."

Both of them cried, and the wedding was held a few months later, the warlock's deal almost forgotten, erased from their minds.

Rowan giggled as arms wrapped around his waist one morning while he was cooking breakfast.

"Come back to beeeeed," Killian groaned, resting his head on his husband's shoulder.

"Honey, it's already 10:30, how much longer do you expect to sleep in?" Rowan asked his husband, turning to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Forever," Killian mumbled, his voice muffled from his face being buried in Rowan's shoulder.

Rowan chuckled slightly. "Let's get some breakfast in you first and then maybe we can consider going back to bed for more cuddles."

Killian smiled, kissing Rowan softly. "Anything I can do to help make breakfast faster?" He asked.

Rowan just smiled and shoot his head. "Not that I can think of, just have a seat and it'll be ready in a few."

Killian snuck in one last kiss before heading to sit at the table, Rowan setting a plate of breakfast in front of him, but something about Killian was... Different.

"... Ian? Everything okay?"

Killian stared ahead blankly, the sweet gaze Rowan was so used had disappeared, replaces by an almost sneer.

Killian's usually green eyes had darkened to a murky greenish-brown, and he made no acknowledgement as to having heard Rowan.

Rowan nudged him slightly, "... Ian? What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Killian turned to face him, and Rowan took a step back at the intensity of his glare, startled by his husband for the first time in his entire life.

"The warlock has called for me," Killian told Rowan.

All the blood drained from Rowan's face. "Wh-what? The warlock? B-but... It's been years o-over a decade, what could he possibly want from you now?"

Killian scowled, a complete change in demeanor from how Rowan usually saw him.

Sure Killian was grumpy most of the time, but never outright mean or scary. He never said or did anything that felt remotely threatening towards Rowan and yet... Something felt... Different.

"I don't know," Killian told him. "But this is it."

Tears welled up in Rowan's eyes and his hands started to shake. "N-no.... N-no, H-he... He can't do this, we... We didn't have enough time, he... No..." Tears begin to stream down Rowan's face. "I can't lose you Ian... I... I can't."

Killian just sort of stood there, making no move to comfort his crying husband, and that was when Rowan truly knew that the magic had taken hold.

He reached a shaking hand out towards Killian, "H-he said we had half an hour, Kil, please I- I can't lose you... I... You're my everything, I... I can't, we were meant to be..."

Killian did nothing, his murky brown eyes had deepened to almost a shade of black and he stared at his husband with no emotion on his face. "Or are we? You knew this was going to happen... We knew it was coming and yet, we ended up here anyways."

Rowan wrapped his arms around him tightly, his whole body shaking as tears poured down his face in earnest, "N-No.... NO, I-Ian, it's the warlock talking this isn't you... P-please I know you're in there, I-Ian, please... A-at least let me say goodbye... I... I didn't know this was going to be it, I... I can't lose you, Ian please."

Killian stood there motionless as the love of his life sobbing against him, making no move to wrap his arms around him or to give him the final goodbye he so desperately pleaded for. He belonged to the warlock now. "... I think it's better if I go now," Killian told him, all emotion drained from his voice.

Rowan let go of him, and the sight of his face contorted in such unimaginable pain brought back a flash of the green Rowan knew and loved to Killian's eyes.

"Row-" but just as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone.

"NO!" Rowan sobbed, feeling powerless to do anything. "I-Ian please..."

Killian stared at him, his face expressionless once more. "... I think it's best if I go now." He hesitated for a moment more before shaking his head, as if snapping out of something, breaking him from whatever lost battle between him and the magic was going on inside his head.

"Goodbye Rowan," he said to him, before disappearing in a flash of neon green flames.

Rowan reached out towards him just before he disappeared, but it was too late. His hands caught only empty air.

"NO!" Rowan screamed, sobbing. "Nononono, he can't be gone, he CAN'T!"

He looked around the room as if Killian would suddenly reappear before sinking to the ground on his knees sobbing into his hands. "I should've stayed in bed and cuddled him," he berated himself between gut wrenching sobs. "I should've came back to bed when he asked."

Rowan stayed like that for hours, curled up on the ground, sobbing into his hands, regretting all the time he spent apart from Killian, regretting all the moments they could've shared, regretting all the years before they confessed.

He cried until there was nothing left in him to give anymore, the deep sorrow he had felt replaced by a hollow feeling of loss and hopelessness.

On shaky legs, Rowan carefully stood off the ground, wiping the dried tears from his eyes. Killian was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Nothing except hunt that son of a bitch down and free his husband from the evil warlock that had so cruely taken him from him.

As Rowan dried the last of his tears, his heartache hardened into rage, his sorrows forming an unbreakable resolve.

Rowan would get Killian back no matter how long it took to find him, no matter how many people he had to hunt down, no matter what, Rowan was going to hunt that warlock down and do whatever it took to get his Killian back.

Rowan was ready for revenge.

I actually had a lot of fun writing this despite the fact that I lost a lot of sleep and cried a lot while writing. If enough people want it, I would definitely make a part two (I don't like angst endings, so part two would end up much happier) If I do make a part two, you should be able to find the link HERE, please let me know what you thought!

#this is my first time writing a fic so please be nice #or well #i wrote part of a fic for hootlingo #it's always the crack ships #also i might write a part two if people are interested #i have an idea planned out #puppet university #puppet history #watcher #we are watcher #watcher entertainment #the oars #the oarmates #and they were oarmates #fic #fan fic #a part two would resolve all the angst i promise #I don't like angst as a whole #panda posts #panda writes #please reblog if you enjoyed #or comment #i crave interaction #ALSO THEIR NAMES ARE PUNS #PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE GOT THAT #rowan like row-ing and killian because he got turned into a sword and was forced to kill a guy i really hope people got that #angst #part one #in all honesty you could probably understand this without having watched puppet history #it's now 4 am on a school night i really hope y'all like this because otherwise im going to have a really bad day of zoom classes tomorrow

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bpro-cardstories · 4 years

Text

Tomohisa Kitakado SSR

2019 ー Performance [実演]

“Fufu, I am looking forward to it. But KiLLER KiNG’s『Sexiness』...... I wonder what it will look like?”

『Event: The Wizarding Academy (02nd - 09th October 2019)』

Part 1

Tsubasa: ‘Excuse me, I brought Kitakado-san with me.’

Yashamaru: ‘Thanks, Tsubasa-chan. Sorry for taking your time, Tomo as well.’

Tomohisa: ‘No. But, it’s rare to be called out alone. Did something happen?’

Yashamaru: ‘Wrong, it’s not such a serious topic. I just thought of a good idea and only wanted to quickly tell you!’

Tomohisa (chuckles): ‘A good idea?’

Yashamaru: ‘Ufufu, that’s right. Before that, do you remember the flower artist Jay with whom you released the collaborated MV? It has a really good reputation, even until now~♪. It’s because you guys worked hard to convey your image to Jay-san.’

Tomohisa: ‘Aah…… That time was difficult. It’s quite a memory. The sunset I went to shoot with Ryuji and Tsubasa….. was unbelievably beautiful.’

Tsubasa: ‘Yes. The time with the both of you as well….. The sun that sets in the sea and the rising moon perfectly match the image of decadence and regeneration, which is truly impressive.’

Yashamaru: ‘Right, exactly as you said!!’

Tomohisa & Tsubasa: ‘Eh?’

Yashamaru: ‘This time KiLLER KiNG wants to place more emphasis on the MV image of the new song. And I thought wouldn’t Tomo be perfect as the director!’

Tomohisa (perplexed): ‘Me….. as the director?’

Yashamaru: ‘『The sun dyes the ocean with its own colour, both when it sets and when it rises.』The image you came up with was definitely the key to that MV. Don’t you think it’s great to have a place where you exhibit this excellent sense more? It’s a waste to leave it like this.’

Tomohisa (smiles): ‘To have Yashamaru-san tell me this, I feel deeply inspired.’

Tomohisa: ‘But, because I don’t have any filming skills, I can’t easily accept this. Even if I study, I don’t know how long it would take…..’

Yashamaru: ‘Oーh, so series. That’s fine! There will be as many technical professionals as you want on the location. I have a high opinion of your sense. It’s not Tomo’s job to be the filmmaker. Tell the actors and staff the image you have in mind as accurately as possible.’

Tomohisa: ‘The image I have in mind……’

Yashamaru: ‘Exactly, well, for now, listen to the song. And if nothing comes to your mind, then it’s fine to pass this time.’

They are listening to the song.

Tomohisa: ‘.......!’

Tsubasa: ‘Wah….. very cool, such a mature song. It is unlike KiLLER KiNG, in a good sense.’

Yashamaru: ‘True. I want to show a new side of the boys.’

Tomohisa: ‘.........’

Tsubasa: ‘......... Kitakado-san, are you fine?’

Tomohisa (smiles): ‘Yeah…. Perhaps it’s fine to have dark elements for this song.’

Tsubasa: ‘!’

Tomohisa: ‘The confrontation of good and evil or the fear that people have….. I wonder if it’s interesting to compare it to a fable?’

Yashamaru (winks): ‘Ufufu, I wasn’t wrong, after all! Which means, it’s decided, Tomo ♪. I’m looking forward to it.’ ___________

ーBack at the mansion. In the lobby.ー

Tomohisa: ‘.........’

(Kitakado-san…… Since before he’s been frowning the whole time. In addition to being busy, serving as the director for another group’s MV is a burden, after allーー)

Tomohisa: ‘.....『Gloomy』. No, 『Sexiness』, hm.’

Tsubasa: ‘Eh?’

Tomohisa (smiles): ‘It’s the theme of the MV. To bring out the new charm of KiLLER KiNG, I’ve been thinking about which would be good the whole time…..’

Tsubasa: ‘Kitakado-san…… Were you not worried about accepting the role of the director?’

Tomohisa: ‘Oh, could it be that I made you worry about that?’

Tomohisa: ‘I was certainly confused at first, but the moment I heard the song, the image overflowed in my head…… I’m very excited right now. More than anything, I’m greatly honored to be able to receive such an opportunity.’

Tsubasa: ‘If that is the case, I am happy to hear that…….! Because I love the works Kitakado-san produces, I wondered if it is not difficult while thinking that I want to see it……’

Tomohisa: ‘Thanks, Tsubasa. When you say so, I become even more motivated.’

Tsubasa: ‘Fufu, I am looking forward to it. But KiLLER KiNG’s『Sexiness』...... I wonder what it will look like?’

Tomohisa (smiles): ‘That’s the fun about the photo shoot, hm? KiLLER KiNG’s vividness with their cuteness is a big attraction. But they also display a sexy and mature look sometimes. If you can bring it out well, you may have a fascinating music video that mixes cute and sexy.’

Tsubasa: ‘Cute and sexy….. The balance between both is quite difficult.’

Tomohisa: ‘It’s fine. I plan to get the appropriate advice from experts.’

Tsubasa: ‘Experts you say?’

Tomohisa: ‘Exactly, the road of the professional.’

Part 2

ーThe day of the MV filming.ー

Ryuji: ‘Andーー Why was I called again?’

Tomohisa: ‘Because Ryuji is the best idol who has both cuteness and sexiness, and can perfectly express both of them. On this occasion, I want to show an example as we move on with the filming in accordance with the situation.’

KiLLER KiNG: ‘We will be in your care!’

Akane: ‘It’s a little bit embarrassing to be produced by a friend, but I’m happy! I want to make it good, so don’t hold back!’

Ryuji: ‘No, having such expectations is troubling…..’

Tomohisa: ‘It’s fine, if you show us the usual Ryuji for the sake of our cute junior group, please?’

Ryuji (bashful): ‘Tomo…. Geez, can’t be helped then.’

Tomohisa: ‘Fufu, thanks.’

Tsubasa: ‘Kitakado-san, the camera setup seems to be finished. The test can start at any time.’

Tomohisa: ‘Thanks, Tsubasa. Alright everyone, shall we start?’

Tomohisa: ‘Ryuji will lie down on the bed over there. Mister cameraman, please shoot from the front, diagonally on the right side. From there, it feels like you’re moving closer….’

Tomohisa: ‘Ryuji, slightly raise your gaze. And then….. Can you look at the camera provocatively for me?’

Ryuji: ‘Like this?’

Haruhi (blushing): ‘Wah…..! My heart just skipped a beat.’

Yuduki: ‘Hm…. Is that maybe the so-called『Sexiness』?’

Tomohisa: ‘As I thought of Ryuji. It’s a shame that I can’t show this to our fans. I wonder if we can’t use this footage for something else?’

Ryuji: ‘Yes, yes. Enough of me, aren’t KiLLER KiNG the mains here?’

Tomohisa: ‘Yeah, you’re right. Then first is…. Shall we start with Akane?’

Akane: ‘Eh, with me!? O-Okay…..’

Akane: ‘Uhm, lying down, and with a flirtatious glance….. Like this?’

Tomohisa: ‘The restless expression is cute I think, perhaps you need to be a little bit calmer…..?’

Akane: ‘L-Like this?’

Tomohisa: ‘Hm….. Should we try to imagine the situation concretely? For example, let’s say you have a loved one in front of you, who did everything that they could do to come to see you. You want to make everything your own right now, don’t want anybody to touch them. When remembering such a fierce emotion, what kind of look will Akane send this person?'

Akane (shyly): ‘I-I don’t know…..! What is this situation!?’

Miroku: ‘You’re too bashful, Akane.’

Akane: ‘Uuh, I mean…. I’m probably not suited for this…..’

Haruhi: ‘Miss stylist, I’m borrowing the flowers here~.’

Haruhi: ‘Look, look, Akane! I’m sure it’s this kind of feeling! I’m going to eat you up, sweet kitten ♪.’

Yuduki: ‘Why are you holding a rose in your mouth….?’

Miroku: ‘Haruhi, it just looks like a joke.’

Haruhi: ‘Eeh, it can’t be! Even though I was so confident!’

Tomohisa: ‘It’s better to not make many complicated things so that the atmosphere might come up. Since it’s a MV this time, there are no lines. So above all, the『Gaze』becomes the core of the sex appeal.’

Tomohisa: ‘Provocative, hot, and run with sweetness…. I know. Tsubasa, could help me for a bit?’

Tsubasa: ‘Eh….. I?’

Part 3

Tomohisa: ‘Then, Tsubasa stands here…. Can you stand next to the camera?’

Tsubasa: ‘Y-Yes.’

Tomohisa: ‘It might still be too high of a hurdle to regard the camera as your beloved person.’

Tomohisa (winks): ‘For the time being, why don’t you try to act, thinking of Tsubasa as your dear lover?’

Tsubasa: ‘Eh!?’

Miroku: ‘Eh?’

Tomohisa: ‘Eh?’

Akane: ‘W-W-Wait, Tomo! Aren’t you raising the bar!?’

Miroku: ‘Agreed. Besides, it also troubles Tsubasa.’

Tomohisa: ‘..... Why?’

Haruhi: ‘Wah, such pure eyes....! As expected of Kitakado-san, the prince….’

Yuduki: ‘Haru, and are you impressed….?’

Tomohisa: ‘...... I see. Explaining it just with words is hard to understand. Should I try to put it into practice?’

Tsubasa: ‘.......! K-Kitakado-san…..?’

Before she can realize what is happening, Tomohisa already closes the distance between them.

Tomohisa: ‘Hmm. Your embarrassed face also is quite charming, Tsubasa. Come one, raise your head. Look me in the eyes and show me more of….. my unknown Tsubasa.’

Tsubasa: ‘.......!’

Yuduki (blushing) & Haruhi: ‘......!’

Miroku (blushing): ‘As I thought, that’s…..’

Akane: ‘It’s impossible for me~~!!’

Tomohisa: ‘Is it too hard perhaps? I thought because there’s a partner, it’s easy to put in emotions…..’

Ryuji: ‘It’s not that.’

Tomohisa (perplexed): ‘Ryuji?’

Ryuji: ‘Everyone should have understood by now what Tomo wants. After this, it’s just about switching. How about you shoot one by one? They are all professionals, so if they decide on their feelings, they can do it.’

Tomohisa (smiles): You’re right….. That might be the case. Let’s shoot individually then.’

Ryuji: ‘When that’s finished, you will shoot outside, right? That seems to be difficult, so isn’t it fine to make more time in advance.’

Yuduki: ‘Ehm…. With this machine, we can make it rain.’

Tomohisa: ‘Yes. To bring out『Sexiness』gloominess and sadness are necessary. When I expanded the image, I really wanted to include rain. I thought it would be difficult because I needed a huge amount of equipment, but I’m glad I got the OK from Yashamaru-san and the others.’

Tsubasa: ‘When I heard Kitakado-san’s enthusiastic presentation, I thought it was absolutely necessary. That is why I wanted everyone to listen as well.’

Akane: ‘I see….! It’s the scene Tomo is fixated on.’

Tomohisa (winks): ‘Yes. While you’re hit by the rain, you think of your beloved person and stand still in pain….. I want to shoot a scene that touches the heart. I’m sure it will turn into a beautiful movie. I’m looking forward to it.’

Part 4

ーIn the Gandara office.ー

Tomohisa: ‘It’s incomplete footage that I connected roughly…. What do you think?’

Tsubasa: ‘It is wonderful. At first, it has a cute atmosphere that gives off the feeling of KiLLER KiNG, but…. Their suggestive gazes gradually draw me into a different world and make my heart throb. The rain scene as well is an impressive end. Because Kitakado-san’s performance in the test filming was really fantastic, I was wondering if you would come out of the screen for a moment….. I was expecting it a bit.’

Tomohisa (smiles): ‘Haha, thanks. But since it’s KiLLER KiNG’s MV, I mustn’t intrude.’

Tsubasa: ‘Fufu, you are right. I am sorry.’

Tsubasa: ‘When the shooting of the connecting image scenes is over, the editing is left afterward, if I am not wrong.’

Tomohisa (worried): ‘Yes….. That’s what I was planning to do.’

Tsubasa: ‘Did something happen?’

Tomohisa: ‘Tono’s look worries me a little. The footage just now was sexy plenty enough but…. I have the feeling that there is more fitting『Sexiness』to Tonoーー’ ________________

ーIn a library.ー

Tomohisa: ‘I’m sorry for asking unreasonable things as in wanting to do an additional shooting.’

Tsubasa: ‘No, everyone has the same feelings because they all want to produce something good. I am glad the schedule allows it. Besides, the concept of showing Miroku-kun with『Intellectual Sexiness』...... is a really charming idea.’

Tomohisa: ‘I should rather say that Tono possesses a mysterious aura that’s detached from the real world. A well-trained body is sexy as well, but isn’t it better to focus on that instead as it gives off a fresh feeling is what I thought.’

Miroku: ‘I was surprised at the new setting. The scattered pieces seem to become one….’

Tomohisa: ‘I aimed at making a collage-like movie, so I didn’t expect that I’m able to compose a story from it.’

Tsubasa: ‘The other unit members were characters in Miroku-kun’s open book…. I think that this is a very interesting structure.’

Tomohisa: ‘The rest is whether it can be expressed well in the movie. Tono, shall we start filming right away?’

Miroku: ‘Yes.’

Tomohisa: ‘Look in the camera and smile. With the image like a god who controls everything in this world….’

Miroku: ‘.......’

Tomohisa: ‘...... Very good. As expected, this one is sexier.’ ________________

ーIn the meeting room.ー

Tsubasa: ‘The inserted footage has come out pretty well.’

Tomohisa: ‘You’re right. It took a considerable time for the staff…. I’m really grateful that I was allowed to be so particular.’

Tomohisa: ‘Cool, cute, a gap that’s different to the usual tone…. Everyone in KiLLER KiNG is charming, so the people who will watch the MV will enjoy it by that alone.’

Tomohisa: ‘But….. as I moved on with the work, I wanted to tell more than just those four. I wondered if I can’t, by including the story, make a movie with depth from multiple angles….. Wouldn’t it resonate with the fans’ hearts in this way.’

Tsubasa: ‘I think that the staff is also seriously facing this project because those emotions are definitely being conveyed.’

Tomohisa (laughs): ‘Yes…. If that’s so, then I’m happy. For everyone who is helping us, I need to produce the best MV.’

Part 5

ーKiLLER KiNG’s room.ー

Haruhi: ‘Ooh…..! The MV’s so absolutely cool! Ah, look! My face!! Isn’t it super handsome!?’

Akane: ‘Yep, yep! When you complete things, it must feel like this, right…..! It kind of doesn’t look like us!’

Yuduki: ‘The movie looks like a really beautiful…. artwork.’

Tsubasa: ‘Fufu, everyone is quite excited.’

Tomohisa: ‘It looks like it’s to your liking which I’m happy about.’

Miroku: ‘It’s a type of work that’s different from our MVs so far. Even the storyline is appealing….’

Miroku: ‘..........’

Tomohisa: ‘...... Tono? Does something concern you?’

Miroku: ‘No, not something that concerns me.’

Tomohisa: ‘Don’t hold back. There’s still room for discussion.’

Miroku (surprised): ‘Kitakado-san……’

Miroku: ‘..... Uhm, in that movie I’m watching and controlling the three from the outside but if it’s possible I feel like wanting to put in another surprise…..What do you think about the last twist of me, who is supposed to rule, actually being part of the story, for example?’

Akane: ‘In other words, Miroku too is merely a character in a book that someone is reading…. or so?’

Miroku: ‘Yeah.’

Tomohisa: ‘I see….. That’s interesting. Tono, who is entranced by the omnipotence, is yet in the palm of someone’s hand. God, the creator of the story, is in the position to play around with such great things….’

Yuduki: ‘It’s a little bit scary….’

Akane: ‘But this thrilling feeling might be great maybe!’

Tomohisa: ‘Yeah, it emanates a more fascinating atmosphere. It depends on the negotiations, but if it’s possible, I want to include this. However, there’s also the problem regarding the casting choice…..’

Akane: ‘There’s no need to worry about this.’

Miroku (smiles): ‘Of course, it will be Kitakado-san.’

Tomohisa: ‘Eh?’

Haruhi: ‘Agreeーd! During the filming too it felt like Kitakado-san did as he liked with us!’

Yuduki: ‘You’re perfect for the role of the god.’

Tomohisa (worried): ‘But as I thought…. If I appear, I will only be in your way.’

Haruhi: ‘Ehh!? It’s going to be a super cool MV I think.’

Akane: ‘Or does the image not fit Tomo’s?’

Tomohisa: ‘That’s…..’

Tsubasa: ‘If you are not against it, why don’t you try it out? It is a work that you made with such a determination. It would be a waste to not take the challenge. If the image does not match, then let us talk about it together.’

Tomohisa (smiles): ‘Tsubasa…..’

Akane: ‘You don’t need to worry about it this much, okay? Tomo’s the one who understands this MV the best, after all!’

Tomohisa: ‘..... You’re right. I’ll give it a try.’

Akane: ‘Ehehe, that’s how it should be!’

Haruhi: ‘I wonder what the costume will look like~?’

Yuduki: ‘As expected, a god or a writer…..’

Miroku: ‘If we go with that setting, then going with a god may be better.’

Tsubasa: ‘Fufu. Everyone is acting so lively.’

Tomohisa: ‘True. I’m also having lots of fun. I think it’s a happy thing to share the feeling of wanting to produce something great and create one work in this way.’

Tomohisa (winks): ‘.... I’m sorry to have caused you trouble again with the schedule. I’ll be counting on you again, Tsubasa.’

Tsubasa: ‘Please leave it to me. This is my job, after all!’

END

#b project #b-project #tomohisa kitakado #kitakore #myps #card:2019

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letters-from-r · 3 years

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I Burn: A Review

I'm not good at reviewing things but I thought I should say some things about (G)I-DLE's 4th mini album 'I Burn' since this is the first comeback I'll be witnessing as a Neverland. I know next to nothing about the technicalities of music, so I'll say what I want to say as easy as I can say it.

If you come across this post, please give the album a listen before reading my review. I recommend listening with headphones/headset! Here’s the link to the album on Spotify.

#1: HANN (Alone in Winter)

The first song on the abum is called HANN, which is a continuation to their previous song also called HANN. HANN 2.0 starts out exactly like it promises: chilling. A few piano beats that goes lower with each beat, a lone high beat followed by a lone low beat, all the while a strong wind blows in the background. It gave me the feeling of being isolated.

The song talks about a neverending winter after a breakup (one that happened preceding the events of HANN 1.0). Based on the lyrics, the main character seem to be in the middle of a very long winter, alone for a very long time. The line ‘Is it my greed to wait for your spring again?’ gives me the impression that the main character has not completely moved on from the ex yet, but there is an obvious negative feeling towards this ex as well.

I can tell that this song is supposed to be from the perspective of someone who is hurting, with Yuqi and Miyeon’s verses followed by a melodious shout (?) that seem to convey hurting. I can’t explain it very well but I can feel the emotions by the way they sing the lyrics.

The song is dominantly accompanied by piano, whose melody goes perfectly with the message the lyrics are communicating. Shuhua’s melodic ‘Lalala lalala’ adds to the overall melancholic feeling of the song.

When I first heard this song it didn’t have as strong of an impact on me as it does now, it’s a song that gets better the more you listen to it. I’ve watched quite a few fan edits of this song as well, and it goes well with period dramas and movies with sad endings. The title came from the Korean word ‘Han’ which is a feeling that cannot be directly translated to English, but from what I gathered it means something along the lines of feeling empty or void, alone, sad, the feeling of having lost someone, etc.

Overall, I give this song a rating of 9.3/10.

#2: HWAA (Fire, Flower) [Title Track]

I think even if Soyeon didn’t say beforehand that HANN (Alone), HANN (Alone in Winter), and HWAA were connected, just by reading the lyrics I would definitely know. HWAA starts out with a Soyeon singing verse, which is one of my favorite things ever (because I know her raps are fire but girl can also sing so well!).

The song starts out cold as well, and it gets warmer as the song goes on. I love how you can especially tell that the song is cold with Minnie’s first verse. She does this thing with her voice that will make you feel chilly. As the song goes on, it will become bass-heavy, which I love.

The message that I got from this song is that the main character is now in their lowest of lows (’The darkness gets deeper’ from Soyeon’s first verse), which means they can only go up from there. The main character has finally cried all their tears (’I can’t live any more tears’ from Soojin’s first verse) and is now ready to bloom again.

Soyeon’s rap verse gives me the idea that the main character is ready to completely erase the memory of their ex (’I won’t leave any traces of you, even the resentment I can’t say is far and wide’), or at least use this to fuel their rebirth (’It will release the cold, enjoy spring again, all memories become fire or fertilizer’). Soyeon’s genius is especially evident in this track, because throughout the whole song she will keep referencing the title (HWAA) with both of its meaning (Fire, Flower) without it feeling disconnected from each other. ‘Fire will release the cold, enjoy spring again (with flowers), all memories become fire (to further fuel fire) or fertilizer (to nourish the flower).’ I think it’s absolutely brilliant!

In HANN (Alone) and HANN (Alone in Winter) it was kind of evident that the main character is resentful of or angry at their ex for what happened, and in HWAA the main character is still angry but for a different reason: they’re angry at losing their ‘spring’ and is now using this anger to fuel their rebirth (’I get mad, get mad even more to regain the lost spring’ from Yuqi’s verse).

The chorus to this song is a harmonic, melodic, singing of ‘HWAA’ from all of the members (but if I’m not mistaken the chorus itself is mostly led by Shuhua). At first it seemed lacking to put such little words in the chorus, but after watching (G)I-DLE’s latest I-Talk episode where Soyeon talks a little about HWAA, it now makes sense. Soyeon said that the way the chorus is sang represents how the fire burns (you’ll get it when you listen to it, at least I did). In fact, Shuhua’s line before the chorus (’Set fire’) kind of says it all.

Honestly, I wish I was born speaking Korean, or at least knew how to speak Korean, because I can only imagine how impactful these lyrics are. Soyeon has said in a behind the scenes video that she used old Korean words for this album to properly convey the message.

Overall, I give this song a 9.2/10.

#3: MOON

This track holds a special place in my heart because it’s one of two tracks composed by Minnie (yes, my bias). Also because the track is called ‘Moon’ which I think is pretty cool. Plus, the lyrics are written by Soyeon, so it’s guaranteed good.

When I hear the word ‘moon’ I automatically associate it with emotions, maybe it’s the hidden astrology bitch inside of me but anything that has to do with the moon I immediately think ‘emotions’. This track is one of those things, and I know I’m right this time.

The song starts with a Minnie verse, and from the start you’d know it’s quite different from the previous two songs. Although personally I think all six songs are similar in such a way that they all seem to ‘take place’ at night, either on a night drive with friends or alone on a roof staring at the moon or alone in your bedroom staring outside the window, they all seem like the type of songs that you’d listen to at night.

Anyway, I kind of digressed there, but the point is this song is quite different from the previous two but also similar. It differs in the genre, since MOON is a pop track (as far as I know) while HWAA is moombahton (house music + reggaeton) and HANN (Alone in Winter) is more of a ballad. But it continues the story line of the previous songs.

The message of the song is basically the main character hiding from something, or the main character wants something to be hidden. ‘Do not shine on me, oh moon’, ‘Do not come near me, oh moon’, ‘Turn off the moon light, please don’t let it shine’, they all tell the same message. I think at this point of the story the main character is trying their best not to open up to emotions, after the very devastating break up they just experienced.

I can’t really explain the music properly, but the way this song was composed is just... so good. I love how it sounds, I love the lyrics, I love the voices the (g)irls put on for this track (I can’t pinpoint it exactly but when you’ve been listening to an artist a lot you’d know how different their voices can sound). Soyeon did not participate much in this track, only at the very last seconds, but I think that further reinforces the message that the main character is hiding something, hiding from something, or wants something to be hidden.

This track is the 10/10 of this album. I would recommend this song to anyone anywhere that’s asking for a song recommendation.

#4: Where is love

I think most people would agree when I say that this fourth track is the dance track of this album. ‘Where is love’ is under the retro funk genre, and although that sounds like it doesn’t fit the story line, trust me it does.

The song starts out with a Soyeon verse. The main character seems to be thinking about the ex in the dark night (see? it all takes place at night), but instead of getting hurt by the memories they laugh it off. ‘The crumbled memories slowly become dull, I let go of you and find myself, the lost smiles are filled back again, I forget you and find myself’. This is definitely a road to self-love song, even though the title seem to be saying otherwise. I think the title talks about how a love so strong was able to just disappear without leaving a trace, thus ‘Where is love?’. At this point of the story line I think the main character has moved on enough to be able to look back and not be hurt by the past.

Soyeon’s rap verse on this track is probably one of my favorite Soyeon raps ever (the next track might be a contender). The music is great, and I think if the girls will perform this song on a live stage this would be a carefree-type of song. It has a ‘come on, let’s vibe!’ type of energy.

Overall, I would give this song a 9.3/10.

#5: LOST

This fifth track is written and composed by Yuqi, our best and most hard-working girl. LOST is under the RnB genre. It starts out with Soojin’s beautiful voice, followed by Yuqi’s captivating one.

This song is also very, very beautiful. It talks about having lost somebody dear to you. The first verse was hard to get at first, but after some thinking I think I know what it means. ‘Dazzling sunlight, will it get dark if I cover it with my hand? Will it be forgotten if I cover you in stained memories?’ I think this mostly means that if you pretend something didn’t happen, did it really not happen?

This is somewhat of a u-turn on the story line, because it seemed like the main character was already moving on in ‘Where is love’ but here it seems like they’re remembering the past again. It might just be a final goodbye to this chapter of their life.

Like I said earlier, Soyeon’s rap verse on this track is a contender for my all-time favorite Soyeon rap. The music here is also great, something you can jam to at any time of the day. Catchy, somewhat upbeat, the voices are beautiful as it always is.

I think my favorite part of this song, aside from Soyeon’s rap verse, is Minnie’s last verse. I just love her voice a lot.

Overall, I would give this song a 9.4/10.

#6: DAHLIA

Ah, DAHLIA, everyone’s baby. DAHLIA is another pop track, written and composed by Minnie (again, yes, my bias). This song is another contender for a 10/10 on this album. Almost everyone on my Twitter timeline was obsessed with this song when the audio snippet came out. Not only does it exude major sapphic vibes, it’s also super catchy and just... beautiful.

The song starts with Minnie’s breathy, angelic voice. From the start, by the lyrics alone you’d know this is a love song. ‘So beautiful, just looking at you with my own eyes makes me fall in love’, ‘I’m drunk on a flower called you, no matter what they say, I’ll choose to love you anyway’ Okay, can we talk about the sapphic undertones? Pink and purple dahlias are said to represent feminine beauty, and flowers in general are mostly associated with women and femininity. Add to that ‘No matter what they say, I’ll choose to love you anyway’? Gay. I know it. Gay.

Also, I don’t know why but to me Soyeon’s rap verse here reminds me of their song last year called ‘Oh my god’ (which is also pretty gay, ‘Oh my god, she took me to the sky, Oh my god, she showed me all the stars’?). Maybe it’s the fact that she says ‘I’m in love again’ and then towards the end she calls out to god again ‘I pray to God, I hope this flower will be beautiful forever’, which are two of the major key points of ‘Oh my god’.

Actually now that I remember it, Soyeon did an intro rap for their last ‘Oh my god’ performance last year in December, and if I remember correctly that rap included something like ‘I’m about to sin again, fall in love with her’ (yes, with the female pronouns). I think DAHLIA might be the song that that rap was referring to, if my intuition is correct that DAHLIA is about a woman.

Anyway, aside from the lyrics which I am absolutely obsessed about, the music is also really, really good. Very catchy, beautiful vocals, and that beat drop that I like during ‘My love is dahlia’. It has that same build up as ‘Oh my god’, fast approaching the chorus and then a sudden stop just before chorus, and then a beat drop with the chorus. It is easily addictive (honestly, all six songs are easily addictive).

Overall, I give this song a 9.8/10.

---

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my album review that is more like rambling and fangirling than anything. If you still haven’t listened to ‘I Burn’, please give it a listen! It’s beautiful, I swear.

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