#like we do every month

[happyheidi]

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ. October will bring blessings.

ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

#let’s manifest this shit! #like we do every month #cottagecore #October pls be kind <3 #october #manifesting #manifestation #positivity #blessings #autumn #text #autumn aesthetic #light academia aesthetic #classic academia #affirmations #cottage academia #heart #heartcore

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

#ra speaks #it’s a silly joke/pun dw #we stay silly :3 #edit: #woahg. that’s a lot of notes. hi everybody o/ #10k. stop clenching your jaw and drink some water. #15k. eat some fresh fruit this week! I’m having kiwis tonight :] #20k. quit sitting like a shrimp it’s bad for your neck! sit up straight and do a little stretch every now and then #25k. I’m up at 2 AM but I’ll get to see the sunrise today :] if you can’t see that I hope you admire the sunset later today #30k. do something fun you haven’t done in a while. I haven’t drawn in months - I think I’ll paint a cat tomorrow :3

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[wild-neko]

disabled people: we are still dying, can you please just wear a mask to the grocery store and doctor’s offices so we can live

conservatives: no, die or stay inside all day, no one cares

leftists: no 🏳️‍🌈✨💖

#wear a mask #covid #sars cov 2 #disability rights #eugenics #disability pride month #lgbt #it really is like this :') #queer #pandemic #ableism #disabled queer #auspol #me not ever being able to share the same air with anyone ever really does something to your mental health #trying not to die in the ongoing pandemic #wear a fucking mask #we would actually like to access third spaces too #we just lost 100 years of disease prevention bc govt propaganda worked a little too well and gave every single medical person brain rot #they went from 'do no harm' to 'actually i think you should quit complaining and allow me to kill you with airborn aids' #which is happening EVERYWHERE BTW and it made it to the media that an aust hospital COVERED IT UP like this is what we're dealing with #this is what modern day eugenics looks like and no one gives a shit #Ableism #HAPPY NEW YEAR #pride #LGBTQIA #activism #acab

[genderkoolaid]

can we PLEASE get over this childish idea that every queer term needs to be entirely separate from others otherwise its stealing like we're on deviantart in 2010 accusing each other of tracing. did you know that things can be inspired by other things and that isnt a heinous crime

#m. #if ur wondering ''is this about–'' the answer is probably yes #because we do this like every month

[royalarchivist]

I love the QSMP. Not only has it introduced me to many amazing international creators, it's also introduced me to the French and Brazilian community, who are so sweet, funny, and chaotic in their own unique ways. I love seeing fans sharing their culture and learning from one another, and I myself have learned a lot this past year. I think it's incredible how QSMP brings so many different people together – all of us united in our love and passion for this project and its goals.

But passion can often evoke strong emotions, and these strong emotions aren't always positive.

The past few months, I have seen multiple waves of hate, bad-faith generalizations of communities, and racist remarks directed at fellow fans – especially those who are part of the French / Brazilian community. This kind of behavior is inexcusable, and is in direct conflict with the mission of QSMP, which is to break language barriers and unite communities.

We are a global community with a variety of people from different backgrounds. Miscommunications may occasionally occur because of cultural differences and/or language barriers, but we should use these moments as opportunities to learn and engage with other people rather than assuming the worst about them and starting fights.

Although certain issues can be resolved with communication, sometimes it’s better to block and move on. Avoid spreading negativity or hate, and save yourself the headache of interacting with people who are just looking for someone to argue with.

No matter what community we're a part of or what languages we speak, we're all here to have fun. Please remember to be kind to each other. We have more in common than we have in conflict.

#QSMP #mod talk #Additionally: we should avoid stereotyping entire communities for reasons I hope are obvious. #I think everything will work out in the end #I don't typically see this kind of stuff on here but I figured I'd post this anyways since I'm posting it to Twitter too #It's understandable that emotions are high because of everything that's happened to the QSMP community the past few months #but it's very sad to see fans attacking each other #everyone's a bit on edge it seems. I rarely use my personal Twitter but I opened it today and saw some close mutuals snapping at people #then after stepping away and calming down coming back to a conversation and apologizing #it's sad to see everyone in this state #So... comments from the peanut gallery I suppose. I do hope this helps someone though #I don't usually post things like this because frankly- #I don't think every single drama / controversy / whatever necessitates a public statement from every single member of the fandom #but I've been thinking a lot about this #Anyhoo. Hopefully I can start sharing clips again tomorrow. I've been moving the past week and life was hellish #hopefully things ease up a bit now

[surreal-duck]

valkyuri

#got a bit too silly w pose studies #enstars #valkyrie #mika kagehira #shu itsuki #shumika #mikashu #duck scribbles #doodles #ensemble stars #im literally so normal about them they definitely do not occupy my every other waking thought #watched memory of marionette stage play some time ago w my beloved ducky and we both lost it and cried #reread some stories too theyre so. augh. auuugh #and since then ive been on a real valk kick lately i cannot even describe how much they mean to me #valkyrie is eternal for real #and to think in a month id have liked them for a year now. insane #miasma free

[bloodfreak-boyking]

i love when they're suffering and allow themselves to comfort each other with physical touch :))))

#why...why do i feel like im gonna end up doing the every touch ever wincest series #not right now #i have some shit to get through the next few months #but...perhaps after that #we shall see #anyway intricate rituals etc etc #emma rewatches spn #1x14 nightmare #spn #wincest #samdean

[sappy-detective]

“im not a crook adict.”

#someone genuinely help me my quality is so fucking bad how do i fix it is it just me? this is so embarrassing… #“sappy we don’t care about SP get back to danganronpa” I WILL OKAY! my hyperfixations just flip flop between DR and SP like every month. #it’s south spark winter. #anyway i think a lot of people underestimate or discard that tweek is an adict #wether he wants to be or not he’s a meth adict and it’s bound to catch up to him one day #weather that’s having major side effects and accidentally ODing #i have a long of angst instore for him #but that’s for my fanfic. not tumblr :9 #south park #creek #sp creek #tweek tweak #craig tucker #art #fanart #my art #ship art #craig and tweek #tweek and craig

[birf]

apparently I’m the talk of the family again for doing “pornography”

#like we do this every 4 months #apparently my dad told them off tho being like: and why are you looking at it? #LOL

[happyheidi]

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ. September will bring blessings.

ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

#let’s manifest this shit! #like we do every month #pls darling September be kind <3 #so happy autumn is coming #it’s my favorite season #cottagecore #text #manifesting #positivity #blessings #september #autumn #classic academia #light academia #art

[zeb-z]

also okay. Leo voiding and Foolish going “that’s alright I’ll just wait. I can wait. I wait.” like yeah totem boy that’s all you ever do isn’t it. waiting loyally for Vegetta to come back, for his plans to find fruition, for islanders and federation workers alike to take him seriously, for Leo to return now, just like he waited for her before, keeping patience like none other. he’ll wait - that’s kinda his thing.

#every time foolish goes ‘I don’t really do lore’ and then does shit like this #yeah he’s doing the dramatic rp in lethal company as fuckin clone 99 or Luigi and Mario because his character is not vocal and emotional #it’s subtle like this because his character - as dramatic and silly and seemingly attention seeking as he is - is subtle #when it matters his reactions are quiet #usually - extenuating circumstances aside. we all watched the last purgatory stream #idk idjajfksjfjsjf but like. the fact he’s always the one who’s waiting. who will extend that patience. but he’s also the one left behind #this seems like a good time to bring up when he was left in the nether again kfjsjfjr yknow? #he waits. and he waits. and he waits. and he waits. and nobody takes him seriously in the meantime #he waits for Leo just like he’s been doing for the last few months. reassuring himself and bad she just voided. man #mcyt #qsmp #q!foolish #z speaks

[skitskatdacat63]

Beanie Nando for @sweatyflytrap <3

#cofi i am so glad these pics also made you have a mental breakdown #i just remember like 6 months absolutely dying over these #adn trying to find every single pic of him with this hat on #and ik i already said to you but aaahhh its so cute that he has a matchign version of this hat for 2008-2009 renault colors #HE IS SO BABYGIRL TO MEEEEE #THIS IS PEAK FERNANDO BABYGIRL #THE LITTLE HAIR TUFTS STICKING OUT!!!! SO KITTTYYYYY!!!!!!!!! #also these are just eternal ref pics to me #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #2006 jerez testing #we do a little bit of f1

[flowercrowngods]

man some of y’all are really out here doing fandom events like #SteddieLoveMonth and writing fic every day just busting out that quality content for free and providing us with love and care and safety and spice and just a free load of emotions while life is genuinely crazy out there like fuck me some of y’all are really out here writing thousands of words and preserving a little humanity in your creations of love it’s so awe inspiring and i think more of y’all need to feel (and share!!) some of this insane gratitude and awe

#yes it is also valid to not write every day n shit but steddie love month and i see some of yall posting every single day??? #can we as a collective please appreciate that and go into our favourite writers comments or ask box and just tell them we see them??? #like i know there’s an over abundance of things to read now with so many talented writers but life not stopping for us to read them all but #can we please go give them some love? can we do that? writers need to be seen and appreciated 🤍 #steddie #steddielovemonth #be loud about your appreciation otherwise people won't know it's there!! 🫶

[spywhitney]

How I sleep knowing I'll never trust anyone that hates Sydney but worships Richie:

#the bear #the bear fx #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #richie jerimovich #jk kind of #well on days I don't see or think about Sydney haters #under every damn comment section in this fandom is someone saying Sydney didn't take accountability #like I know we all have our biases but yall are really shameless about it #Sydney scored A LOT of Ws for The Beef AND The Bear #but one time she makes a mistake and justifiably walks away from a toxic work environment she's the devil #Richie worked at The Beef for years and Sydney did more for it in what less than four months than he did #on top of being a prick to Sydney in particular because she was changing things he wanted to keep the same #to the detriment of the restaurant but also everyone #and overall being unpleasant to Carmy #Nat and anyone that didn't find him funny or interesting or like his bs #pre-Forks Richie reminds me of those types of people that only listen to people that like them #and I love that because it's realistic to some ppl #I do like Richie #it just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth knowing there are people that hate Sydney #ignore her accomplishments only to raise up Richie #in the same breath when the actual show is showing you what's up #like you'd think there were different versions of the show with how these two are perceived #I get this weird need to defend Sydney when people shit on her because I wonder how often said people treat the Sydneys of the world #but that aside #In Fishes Richie mentions something about wasting potential at the beef #In Ceres it's implied he called the popo on the dealers after Sydney deescalated a situation Richie previously dealt with #in an unorthodox manner #he recognised he needed to change but still was an arsehole to the one person who was facilitating that change effectively Sydney #this show is great but people denying what they're seeing on their own screens is crazy

[why-the-heck-not]

02.10.23, thursday

I feel like taking whole weekends off doesn’t work for me. Like if I take the days off, I’ll get stuck in that mood and I’m just now getting back to the groove of things, and it’s friday again tmrw. I think the ideal for me would be like 2 weeks on and then couple days off. Something I could actually do sometimes if I just schedule it. But couple last weekends I’ve had set plans so had to have actual weekends and my productivity has taken the hit

#basically I’m just so bad at starting things that I should never stop bc it takes too long to get back to it #i have things this weekend and probs next weekend as well but after that #(also side note; why do we have to stuff _everything_ to the end of the year?? like every celebration/event and then also the deadlines like #why don’t we have legit anything for january-april like those months suck) #aesthetic #books #studyblr #study #reading #read #bookblr #book #studyspo #dark academia #booklr #chaotic academia #november 2023 #2023