#like please dont link me with this awful writing

[fqiryspit]

𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 ; 𝐞.𝐣𝐚𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐫

Eren x Fem!Reader

part 5 of: baby fever

cw: breeding kink, praise kink, fingering, oral (m), lactation kink, cum eating, switch eren, cum cleaning, squirting, ball-sucking, committed relationship, pregnancy, rainy day sex.

summary: Its fathers day and Eren decides his gift is going to be impregnating you

.

you leaned on the door frame of the nursery, where a shirtless Eren swayed with your baby girl on his chest -taking soft breaths as she slips into a deep sleep.

he turns and sees you, making his cheeky smile even wider as he motions you over, with a slight sigh you walk to him just to get smothered in kisses

"Thank you" he whispered on your lips, the sun dimming down with an orange glow that fell on every inch of his beautiful features

"For?" you tease, he looks down and your eyes follow to the perfect little girl you both made

"For making her..." he whispered once more in fear of waking the infant, you smile while creasing his cheek having him to look back up to you

"If it wasn't for your baby fever we wouldn't be here right now" you let out silent laughs as he furrows his brows, cheeks becoming warm once the image of him impregnating you flashes in his brain

"speaking of baby fever..." he slightly sings, hips still swaying as the babe lays perfectly on his pecs

"no..."

"It's gonna be fathers day soon..." he teases even further

"eren jaeger no"

"and I was thinking"

"cover her ears because I'm about to-" "we should make another one"

.

The thrashing of rain pours in your ears but it's not enough to drown out his moans as Eren cries out for you.

thank goodness for your thick walls because Eren can't handle seeing you like this, 

You're on your knees, completely naked as your milk-filled breast pout at him -basically begging him to suck them- as you suck him dry

these past couple of months have been about you, now it's time for you to praise him for this fathers day

your glossy lips are stretched out as he wrapped his fingers around your locks, and your eyes tear up with blurry pupils covered in bliss as Eren makes you rub yourself on the flooring

you rubbed your pretty little pussy lips back and forth as you simulated your clit, almost becoming too much with how you worked yourself up

he loved seeing your tits bounce with every hump as you choked on his dick, your hands reached up to cup his aching balls making a guttural moan escape from his throat

you slide him out as you flash your pretty lashes at him

"They're so sore, baby"

"Mm-hm you've been driving me fucking crazy" he admits as you watch in awe at this disheveled man crumbling from you

his hair is a mess, his bun is holding on for dear life as the rest sticks to his forehead, pretty red lips bruised from biting and kissing 

a mischievous smile forms as you lean over to kiss his very achy ball

"s-shit"

you lick them wet before placing one into your mouth

"Oh my fucking- please don't stop" you let out a corrupt giggle causing vibrations to erupt from his sensitive area

your hands wrap around his sore cock as you begin to pump him while sucking and suckling onto his ball

"please baby" he whines while squirming, cock twitching over and over as the feeling of you begins to be too much

"cum" you order before harshly sucking his ball once more, he cries out a moan as white spurts out of his abused tip, his cum splashed onto your breasts as the rest dribbles out, leaving a kiss on his tip before beginning to stand up

you watch his dizzy eyes follow you as you stand, beautiful green eyes with pupils spinning with lust and desire -those eyes fall to your milking breasts

"on the bed" now he orders as you lay yourself down, he places himself on top of you as he swipes some of his cum up with his fingers

he brings it up to your eyes as the baby batter drips from his fingertips,

"open." you follow immediately as you open your mouth, woozy eyes following with every word he says 

he doesn't hesitate to stick his fingers down your throat, choking you with them as you lap his cum up

"good girl" he praises before coming down to lick the rest of himself off your tits

it was something about watching his eager tongue lap up his own cum off of your that made you wrap your legs around his thigh and start grinding your needy little pussy on it

he chuckles while looking back up to you "that desperate for my cock sweetie?" he teases but you only nod with a cry leaving your occupied lips

he removes his fingers from your mouth and traces them down until they're at your cunt, starting to drag them up and down your wet folds

"p-please eren" you moan as he rolls his eyes at your impatientness and pushes his fingers in

he leans down to toy with your nipple, milk leaving the bud as he sucks a little too much on it, noticing how you whimpered at it made a smirk form on his precious lips

"can I milk you?" he asks so simply, like asking for the time -yes, he has drunken your milk before but this time, he is determined to suck you dry

"y-yes" you almost forgot is fluttering fingers inside you that were so delicately stroking your g-spot

he dove into your nipple as he placed his teeth on the areola, beginning to suck the pretty milk out of you

"eren!" you cried out as you dug your fingers into his now loose hair, spreading down into your chest as his pretty green eyes looked up to you between the curtain of hair

his fingers curled into your pussy walls, your cunt gripping onto his fingers as they sucked him in deeper

"eren fuck! I'm gonna cum!" you sobbed as he brought his free hand up to your other breast, gripping around it so your milk would dribble out -causing a sweet moan to leave your lips and for him to let out a deep moan, drinking you up as the best fucking meal

striking eyes never leaving yours as your cum squirts out of you, shaking from the intensity of your orgasm

"fuck baby did I just make you squirt?" he chuckles as he looks at the mess you made, his wrists covered in your cum as the bed suffered as well

his cock standing at the incident, even just from that you're already closing your thighs at the sight

he nibbles on his bottom lip from your doings, moving your thighs apart to get between them

"ready f'me?" he lazily says as he is hung up on the idea of your sweet walls choking his dick

"yes! please just fuck me eren!" you whine as he taunts with a swipe up your folds

"okay baby, I'll fuck you"

and just like that, he slams his cock in you with one quick thrust, you cry his name out as he shuts his eyes, your pussy suffocating his cock so fucking perfectly he focuses on not cumming immediately in your awaiting womb

"alright ima start movin now baby" he slurs, already pussy drunk as he begins to thrust into you

kissing your cervix as he kisses your lips, your pretty red pillows swollen with blurry eyes -so fucking pretty for him

you could hear the wetness of your pussy with every thrust, the cum being a great lubricant as he sped up into your drooling cunt

you felt every drag of his cock, balls slapping against your ass as he rams himself in and out, you looked up with spinning pupils seeing this gorgeous fucking man lifting one of your legs up and over his shoulder to dig his cock deeper into your hole. his green eyes lighting up the whole room as he towers over your needy body, his abs glistening with sweat as his hair falls low on his collar bones

he is fucking you like a whore

"you're so beautiful, baby"

-in the most loving way possible

"eren you look like a god" you babble out at his previous statement, causing a genuine laugh to erupt from his chest

"then honey, you're my goddess"  he speaks purely as his cock slides in and out of you, walls tightening around him at his complement

the little light in the room hit his features perfectly as he thrusts himself in and out, this intimidating man towers over you and he can't help but sputter out compliments about you

"I love it when you're dizzy, you're so fucking pretty" he smiles, looking at how your eyes can't focus on anything as the main thing on your mind is pleasure -how your thighs are covered in slick and your mouth is stuck open, letting out needy moans as you beg for him, how your breast bounce with each thrust and how your eyes squeeze shut on a particularly good place

"Fuck, I need to cum in you"

"w-what?" you managed to mumble out as you felt your orgasm about to snap

"Baby, I need to fill you up...please let me help make another baby" he winces in your ear as he speeds up into a feral pace

his cock treats you so well as it slams into you, the room spinning as you feel him in your stomach so fucking full of his dick you can't think as your pussy keeps sucking him in deeper

hell, why wouldn't you make another? You love your baby so much, maybe another one won't hurt...

"fuck! yes, cum in me just please don't fucking stop!" you cry out as your coil snaps, creaming on his cock as you hear Eren whimper out,

"Fuck baby, yes please fucking cum on me, I'll fill you up so good" he whines as he rams in and out

"Fuck! I'm cumming I'm cumming!" he cries out as he shoots his baby batter into your womb, even after he collapses onto you, you can still feel him spurting out cum into you.

you cuddle into his warm body as his cock still sits snug in you, rain crying out into the window  you catch your breaths as Eren begins to speak up

"do you really want another baby?" he whispers on your neck as your back away to face him and kiss his pouty lips

"I'd love to be impregnated by you once more Eren Jaeger" you state proudly and his face goes fucking red as he avoids your gaze as if he doesn't have his dick snug in your pussy

"...you could've just said 'yeah'" he mumbles while laughing into your neck, kissing it up to your laughing lips

the slow cries of a baby could be heard from the other room, Eren closes his eyes for a moment as the screeching continues making you giggle, kissing him once more as you whispered on his lips,

"happy fathers day, daddy"

.

an: AHHHHH HEYYYY SHAWTYYY! HAPPY FATHERS DAYYY!!!! AND THANK YOU FOR 600 FOLLOWERS! 💞 "tho, I will say for my 600 special I won’t be doing baby fever 5 lmfao" that didn't age well 💀 —this is my 600 special, even tho I just gained 1000 followers!! I’ll be doing 700, 800,900, and 1000 specials soon! Thank you guys so much for all the support! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCHHH OMGGG MWAUH MWAUHM MWAAUUHHH 💞

#wow I hate my writing in this 🤩 #LMAOO #nah but fr my writing seems like...my old writing?? uhhh #i think i was just tired when i wrote this #i wrote it in one go #and then showered and now im posting it --at 7 am <3 #like please dont link me with this awful writing #its not me #eren x reader #eren #attack on titan #aot #eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren x you #eren smut #eren jeager #snk #eren yeager x you #eren yeager smut #eren yaegar #shingeki no kyoujin #eren yeager x y/n #eren yeager fanfiction #eren jaeger smut #eren fluff #eren x y/n #eren jäger #eren x fem!reader #shingeki no kyojin

[hobimo]

would u guys still like me even if i namedropped the absurdly popular author i fucking HATE . and even better would u keep it just between us so we're besties so that eventually when i finish dragon fic and its the banger fic i want it to be. it might just get recc'd enough that [BTS AUTHOR] reads it. and i hope it makes them realise how awful and damaging their writing is

#sorry. chapter 5 came out yesterday and im still reeling #its just... #sometimes. you need to read a fucking book to learn how to write #anyway my evil fantasy where they read my fic is delusional and insane and i know this already ok. dont remind me #there's no point to subject myself to this awful writing #so much extra transphobia sprinkled in for no reason #male/female gender essentialism??? in a/b/o???? #this is the magic white wolf subspecies fic. btw #white womanhood will save these damned animals apparently #ITS NOT EVEN A GOOD A/B/O. THEY STRIPPED IT OF ALL THE ANIMALISTIC DEVOTION THAT MAKES IT GOOD #so u mean to tell me ur omega did not recognise his alpha the Instant u saw him? mmm kinda cringe. #anyway. if i see the word “trauma” in a fic i break out in fucking hives because of this author #if you guys know who im talking aboit KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. HATING IS AN INDIVIDUAL SPORT #BE A HATER ON YOUR OWN TIME AWAY FROM ME. #but if you know the namkook fic someone mentioned. link please #i have no idea what namkook fic u guys r talking about. but i would like to add a fic to my hater repertoire

[boykissr]

WHAT IT'S LIKE BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP W/ HIM : HCS !

tighnari x gn!reader

cw : ooc , fluff , pure brainrot , i love him so much i can't think clearly

an : remastered remixed part 2 idc. he is not a want but a need. sickfic linked here

you help out around gandharva ville a lot in your spare time

tighnari hardly ever lets you assist him in his duties in the forest, and when he does, it's typically when he's sure there won't be any danger

which isn't often

everyone at the village is very thankful that you help out so much

going on patrol with collei!!! you're practically attached at the hip most of the time

you do occasionally give tighnari shit for always being busy. all in good fun, of course - you understand that he has a very important role in helping the forest, and that it isn't always possible for him to spend time with you

whenever you get sick he makes the nastiest medicine imaginable <33 it's not his fault that the best treatment tastes awful!!!!!!

when you refuse to drink the medicine on your own, he spoonfeeds you!! while teasingly chiding you, of course

and if you still dont drink the medicine...... well, he has to resort to.. other methods

i'll leave that up to interpretation

please req a sickfic i have so much to say actually

you.... have so much knowledge of plants

you can't help but pay acute attention whenever tighnari goes off on another excited ramble about this species of flower that reminds him of you!!! he's just so adorable in moments like those

the look on his face when you recite some knowledge he told you in passing a few weeks ago

shitting on the akademiya together

him helping you open up and share your opinion more, and you helping him learn that he doesn't always have to be in charge, that it's ok to take longer rests and that he shouldn't feel guilty when something that's out of his control goes wrong

you constantly taking in animals that are either hurt or babies, and him rarely having the heart to turn them away

the amount of ongoing inside jokes. plant jokes. most of the time they're so subtle that if you weren't in on it, you would even realize a joke was being told

helping him write the occasional botany paper because, shocker, you've developed a love for the subject as well

dragging him to bed with you, even if it's just to cuddle and talk about your days and theorize if this specific plant could thrive under these specific conditions

you asking him one time to bring you something back from his patrol, him doing it every time he goes on one without you

every time you drop something and hurt yourself, he's immediately (lovingly) on your ass. damn those big soft ears

petting his ears. ranting and raving about them with collei

you being the only person to pet his ears??? like even if other people ask he typically declines them...

him constantly flustering you with subtle flirts, even after you've been together for years

still being in the honeymoon phase despite dating for so long already

him somehow finding ways to flirt / compliment you so that you don't process it until way later,,,, staying up way too late thinking about what he said

you tearing up the first time he gave you a handmade lunch; admitting that it was the most thoughtful thing someone's done for you in a long time

still crying when he gives you homemade lunches, being painfully aware of his busy schedule and seemingly-never ending duties

having tons of connections by association,,, becoming quite well-known yourself

pausing to look at certain flowers when on a walk, remembering him mention them to you the other day

when you argue him having the nerve to get all close to you and say some shit like "ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad" and so you do. you kiss him. hard.

him promising to get you a different flower that reminds him of you every year; him keeping tru to that promise

falling asleep to the sounds of the forest, tucked in his arms, smile on your face as you snuggle closer into his neck

laughing whenever he accidentally bonks his ears on a doorframe

#tighnari #tighnari genshin #genshin tighnari #tighnari gi #tighnari fanfic #tighnari x reader #tighnari x gn reader #tighnari fluff #genshin #genshin impact #genshin fanfic #sumeru #sumeru genshin #genshin sumeru #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x gn reader #gn reader #i hate him so much. i want to kiss him in the lips

[soapiemomorphine]

My Rottmnt Separated Au!// Masterpost

(*Dj Khalid voice *: Another one ) (scroll to bottom for links to other posts)

This one’s called:

How I Met Our Brothers

And it’s an au of my own inspired by all the greats, like @daedelweiss @dianagj-art @trubblegumm @red-rover-au and more! (Seriously go follow their blogs)

Mainly by @trubblegumm and by the feral Leo from @cupcakeslushie , and you’ll soon why

With out further ado;

DRUMROLL PLEASE DUN DUNNUNUUUUHHHHH

(Also dont worry ab my chicken scratch I have it all written down lol)

(Click for better quality lol)

Since my writing’s shit (lol) here’s the transcript for what I wrote: the character descriptions first, then the pluses from top to bottom

Donatello Hamato:

Raised by Splinter/Hamato Yoshi/Lou Jitsu in the sewers under Brooklyn

Started looking for his bros after his dad told him about them

Met April when he was 9 (she was 11)

He met Leo when they were both 11

Baron Michelangelo:

(I hc that Baron is a title, not a name; like Lord or Lady, so Mikey inherited Draxum’s title)

He’s been training to be a mystic warrior since he was born

Muninn (the one with a larger body and the underbite) wanted him to be named Angel, Huginn (the one with a larger head and overbite) wanted him to be Michael, so they compromised with the perfect name (don’t tell Draxum they saw it in a human pamphlet )

Raised by Draxum alone until he was seven

At 7 y/o he met Raph and ever since both Big Mama and Baron Draxum have joint custody over them

BM and BD raise them like a divorced couple, they alternate houses weekly and they celebrate each holiday twice, (Big Mama and Draxum only come together for their b-days)

Besties with Raph and Cass, (met Cass when he was 10, she was 13)

Rapheal Jitsu :

Training to be a mystic warrior since he was 9

Big Mama named him what she and Splinter would have named their first son; (he proposed to her, you can’t tell me that they didn’t talk ab baby names)

Big Mama was not the only secretive one in the relationship, she didn’t know what Splinter’s real last name was, (and as a gang leader she doesn’t use her name anymore) so yes, Jitsu is Raph’s legal last name

Met Mikey when he was 9 y/o

BM and BD raise them like a divorced couple, they alternate houses weekly and they celebrate each holiday twice, (Big Mama and Draxum only come together for their b-days)

Besties with Mike and Cass, (met Cass when he was 12, she was 13)

??????? —> Leonardo Hamato:

He grew up in the sewers in Staten Island, the one who brought him there was *REDACTED*

Staten Island is full on awful people, so nobody took him in, and he learned to fear people

Donnie found him, and named him Leonardo and gave him his birthday, making him 11

Other Info:

+ because Leonardo was hella malnourished as a growing young lad, Donnie ended up being the 2nd tallest by the time of the movie

+Splinter became more proactive in Donnie’s life ever since he lost sight of the other three brothers and became more proactive in his training when he met April because he’s more paranoid than he is in the show

+Don didn’t really care for Leo (he was comfortable as an only child and Leo changed his routine), until Leo got deathly sick and nearly died

+Big Mama and Draxum (somewhat) reformed only b/c Mikey and Raph would cry and throw tantrums (they won the moral argument slay) when they would talk ab their plans and beliefs (Draxum loves his children more that he hates humanity, and Big Mama finally learned how to love with Raph)

+Mama truly loved Splinter, but was insecure about him loving her as a Yokai (she had trust issues) and b/c her morals are hella skewed, it seemed like a great idea to keep him the only way she knew how, by putting him in Battle Nexus (and she makes bank with him there! In her mind it seemed like a win-win)

(Note: Big Mama’s and Splinter’s relationship will solely be as exes, because it would be hella unhealthy for Splints to trust her after she betrayed it like it. (They both lied to eachother during their relationship in this au) Their relationship in my comics and fanfics in this au will solely be as estranged exes, they will not be getting back together)

If this post gets like, at least 30 notes then ill post a comic on how Leo and Donnie met! (Edit: oh wow. U guys did it)

Lists of HIMOB Posts:

Disaster twins post

Sunset duo post

HIMOB Donnie meets the Canon Mad Dogs // Bonus Comic

Donnie and the Stranger: Part 1 // Part 2

The name Rapheal: Part 1 // Part 2

The Caretaker: Part 1 // TBC . . .

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #rottmnt leo #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise season 3 #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt separated au #another one #rise fanart #rise comic #rise fanfic #rise donnie #rise disaster twins #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt splinter #rottmnt comic #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt raphael #big mama #baron draxum #rise villains #seperated au #rottmnt au comic #my rottmnt au #rottmnt au #how I met our brothers

[rubberduckrobin]

hi there im feelin a bit blue, i wonder if u can do some belphie comfort writing? like when uve just had a terrible day feelin like everything downed on u and u came to him for console :,) hes my favorite character so if u do it tyvm! if u dont thats perfectly ok too!

Hey Anon! Tysm for this request - it means a lot to me! I’m sorry to hear you haven’t been feeling good but I hope you’re doing alright <3

Enjoy the fic! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩.

Fandom: Obey Me!

Pairing: Belphegor x GN!Reader

Type: Fluff, comfort

Word count: Around 1k. (rounded up)

Summary: After a long, difficult day you seek out Belphie for comfort, hoping that you’ll find what was missing from your day, in the warmth of his arms.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51474559

TW: Nothing I can think of.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓

Prologue:

Please love me. Please tell me you love me. Please tell me you love me and brush my tears away. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆

Part 1: The dark stormy clouds bring satisfied fields of flowers. 

Fortune is something you believe in. And from the moment you woke up, you knew you weren’t on cruel luck's side. 

Even your morning’s dream was a nightmare. Even the little comfort you found in the day’s rainy skies, your favourite type of weather, cannot overcome the underlying feeling of needing something more. 

Needing to let out anger, at the strangers that pushed against you, let out sadness at the loss of the day that could have been productive.

You need something.

Today was awful. Today was a day you wish hadn’t happened. 

But a part of you knows that seeking comfort in Belphegor afterwards is what would make it so…worth it. 

You hate feeling as though you’re taking advantage, and that you shouldn’t want to have such a terrible day just to be able to come to Belphie for help, but his warmth is irresistible, like a blanket in bitter cold. 

This wasn’t the first time you found yourself outside his room, staring blankly at his doorknob, a debate with two sides of your brain, the ‘considerate’ and the ‘selfish’.

Should I knock? Should I leave? 

If he denies your presence, you’ll be left empty, unloved, another reason for wanting the horrible day to end and for the earth to cave in under your feet. 

However, he could also be the one to stop everything; your memories of the people that pushed past you, the lack of effort you put into your work, the torment you endured from family, acquaintances, friends. Everything. Everything that happened.

The doorknob clicks open.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆

Part 2: Security Blanket

As you reach for the door, it opens from the other side.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

Your swollen-eyed gaze meets Belphegors and it only takes him a moment to realise what’s happening.

“Another one of those days, huh?”

You can’t respond.

Everything…

“Alright. Come in.”

Everything…

Belphie wraps around you by the waist almost instantaneously, cold hands curling warmly around your stomach; his warmed breath paces against the line of your neck, tickling you gently. 

He runs circles on your back whilst leading you towards his bed. 

“I was just feeling sleepy. I’m glad to have a new pillow.”

Still holding your hand, he gets under his duvet, ushering you in with soft breaths. 

Everything…

You’re pulled into the comfort of his blanket, and he repositions his arms to be around your torso again, burrowing his head into the crook of your neck. 

“Mm.”

Everything…

“Are you gonna tell me what happened?” he asks, in nothing more than a whisper.

“It’s just…not a good day today.”

“Alright…do you want to stay here with me? Like this?”

“…yes.”

Everything.

Time stops. Memories stop. 

It’s only you and him. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆

Part 3: As gentle as mournful melodies tribute to joy. 

He begins to hum, the vibrations running down your aching body. 

The song is not one you know, but it provides a sense of familiarity. It’s similar to the feeling of completing something small, like a puzzle, or something big, like your day. 

As he runs his hands through your hair, you find your mind to be indulged in nothing but the sensation. The feeling of his fingers winding their way through each strand, the pause when he goes to start from your scalp again.

You feel pampered.

Everything.

Through newfound drowsy thoughts, you begin to speak.

“Everything today was just so…”

Before you can find the word to complete it, he speaks.

“Difficult? …mm…”

“Like the world was…”

“…Against you?”

“No. More like…crashing in on me. But yeah, that too.”

“Okay. It’s okay. That’s life…”

“Life sucks then.”

“Yeah…it really does.”

Everything.

“…what can make it better?”

“I don’t know.”

“…is there anything I can do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Alright. Do you want to sleep? …Or talk?”

 “I don’t…”

“Know?” His laughs are muffled against your body and your heart just melts - you’re so lucky to have him.

It’s unusual how you aren’t anything more than friends, but you are together as though more. His tenderness as he holds you seems more than just what you are labelled. 

“Hey, Belphie?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t you think its weird to be like…this? You know…”

“Huh? Oh. No? You were upset. And you looked exhausted. I don’t see a problem with this.”

“Don’t you think this is something for couples?”

“No. But…”

“But?”

“It’s nothing, go to sleep. You’re tired.”

Nothing more is needed to be said, and nothing more is to be done, aside from you just staying in his arms as you dream.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆

Part 4: Dreams.

I dream of idle moments in your arms. The weight of your body against mine. The sink of my heart before the flutter. The stars in the sky as you watch with glistening eyes.

I think of how stupid this is, how stupid this all is. How ridiculous it is to think such romanticised thoughts.

Then I think of you.

Everything stops and all there is is my heartbeat against yours. 

Nothing less, nothing more.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁ᶻ 𝗓

End Author’s Note: I hope you enjoyed it! To whoever is reading this: please be kind to yourself and have a great day/night! :)

#belphie x reader #obey me belphegor #obey me fic #obey me belphie #obey me comfort #comfort fic #x reader #obey me #anon ask #fluff

[oathofkaslana]

lee oathofkaslana, i was wondering if you have any advice for getting into hi3, especially in regards to digging into the lore. i’ve been following along with your hi3 posts for literal months and i get more intrigued each time you discuss it so i finally decided to just go for it. i know theres the game/webtoon/animated shorts/cooking with valks but i’m not totally sure about how to go about approaching all of it and the more obscure elements (like the other games with the hi3 characters) because i don’t want to miss out on anything. is there a certain order of approach that you suggest? also, are there any resources that may help with taking it all in, like explaining the basics and the timeline or something like that? there’s no pressure to answer right away, i’m sure you might want time to compile your thoughts, i just trust your judgement on how to get into hi3 over trying to figure it out myself based on how knowledgeable you appear to be about everything.

cracks knuckles. anon im being so serious this made my day both bc of your kind words and bc its the perfect opportunity for me to infodump about hi3 resources (<- especially unfortunate part of my current interest on hi3 is that im a lil too deep into things about the game that dont really matter?? thats beside the point)

lee oathofkaslana's hi3 starter guide :) ps: important. please please read my warning in the comics section of other content.

reading lists! ok this is the most important thing so its going first. hi3's comics are a lot more important to the plot than like. genshin's. and its kinda annoying bc in some cases you'll be guided from going between chapters of the game to a comic and vice versa. i highly recommend checking out both of these reading lists: hoyostans reading guide (start from part 1 phase 1) archives wiki hi3 reading list the seconds a lot easier to follow imo! especially with the earlier ones. i personally prefer primarily using the second one and then consulting the first to see if there's any extra content that's missing (since some ggz/retconned hi3 comics are linked there and provide some context! the first one also has some very helpful notes from the OP!) i DO think that reading the comics in the order listed on the archives wiki and then starting chapter one is best. it might feel like a dip in story telling though but i promise it will get a lot btter once theyre a lot more stable w their game development and writing :)

other content: comics: ok first i have to put a warning. escape from nagazora is from ggz iirc and like. early ggz and early hi3 humor kinda sucks ass. there's awful sexualization of underaged girls and its weird about women and this is where a lot of the fetishization comes in. they're also not normal about consent here. also another warning about azure waters. it heavily references CSA and has an almost rape scene and i completely hated the way it was all visually portrayed. if needed I will gladly summarize these comics for you without any of those details. this aside, the comics are included in the reading guides! there are also non-canonical ones though! (4komas featured on the manga site and 4komas from the jp twitter! theres a google drive linked in the other post w fan translations. they're comedic and not at all canonical but they may spoil things since its run coincides with the game's progress so i dont really recommend reading them until you're farther along. atm i am just starting part 1.5 and ive read most of it, but i am intentionally avoiding newer ones just by looking at what design is in the thumbnail. they're very quick to read though dw!) animated shorts -> they are included in the game :) if you would prefer watching them in chinese, i'm afraid you'll have to look at it on youtube though :' for some reason on the western servers all the CG's in the first part are in japanese even if you switch your language to chinese. chronicles -> they're included in both the reading guides! theres some that aren't very lore relevant (dreams of gemima and kallen chronicles) but they're a fine source of weapons and crystals (hi3 equiv of primos) part 2 -> i haven't started it yet but from what i've seen, it's recommended that you finish part 1 before this. open-world -> again, follow the reading order for these :) the only exception is APHO because that takes place in the future (after part 1.5). i haven't finished it and i personally don’t plan to until after i do 1.5 in case there's any important spoilers! there are major hints that kinda spoil the end of part 1 though. <- same with the alien space comic. it takes place. sometime after APHO i think. other universe events -> primarily captainverse. obv these take place in a different universe! these characters are not the same as the main characters. iirc the only one that's really lore-relevant is honkai salvation log (it comes later in the game and later in the hoyostans reading guide!!) donghua: cooking with valks: not canonical content. season 1 is pretty safe but it is best watched after chapter 12 to get full context for some references! honestly you could probably get by with watching the rest of the series after imo but if you'd prefer to play it safe, the hoyostans guide includes it :) golden courtyard: do not watch this one until you finish chapter 31. journey crisis: do not watch this until you finish part 1.5 ggz/hg2: honestly. you don't need to know ggz for hi3. you would benefit from knowing the retrospective timeline's history for the main trio but from there on, ggz and hi3 follow completely different stories with different characters. honestly you could go by without knowing the main trio's history in retro i think its already explained enough in the main story and other media.

links. youtube: homulabs -> has cohesive lore videos that help a lot (esp later on)! also has some hsr stuff if you're interested :) hide's honkai archives -> playthroughs of all of part 1 completely in chinese (including cut scenes). also fixes up some of the translations since i believe the eng translations are translated from the jp dub! i mostly use this to both rewatch chapters when i need background noise and look at cutscenes with OP's translations. i find it interesting.. official hi3 youtube visual novels: again, look at the reading guides. im pretty sure think some of those links on both guides are wonky though so ill provide them here. ae visual novel (eng) shattered swords/7 swords visual novel (eng) durandal visual novel (eng) i also have a larger post with various links here build/combat: ok this is my weakspot. marisa honkai -> kind of unfortunate backbone of the hi3 community. allegedly kicked someone from his discord server for saying kiana is a lesbian. but his infographics are useful! he also has a youtube but i can't vet how his videos are o7 <- lore player and very obvious about it elysian realm shallow sequence -> in case you're ever struggling w this part. dont worry about it early game though you'll get to it in time. honestly its optional though so.

quick tips/loose info:

the wikis will be your best friend.

do the character trials!! they teach you how to use any of the characters and you can open them whenever you want! if the battlesuit is new, you will also get rewards if you do the trial in time :)

honkai has an absurd amount of currencies for some fucking reason. this is more of a warning than a tip.

ok imo hi3 combat is super super fun but my god the powercreep sucks asssssssss. i hate the process of building characters because you have to pull for characters signature gear and that equipment banner's pity doesnt carry over it fucking sucks.

BUT don't worry too much honestly if you are just playing for the story like i am it doesn't matter too much since you don't need to use your own valkyries for much (story wise). do at least build some though even to a minor degree (you will need them for chronicles)

speaking of gacha though! there's no 50/50 to worry about in honkai!

don't go into the chat for room 1 its fucking scary and full of weirdos (derogatory) and assholes. first and last time i went there i saw homophobes.

remember this is all for fun :) sorry if this seems long or wayyyy too serious i meant it when i say im awfully fixated on this fuckass game! i hope you enjoy it if you continue to play it :DD <3

#hnk3 #asks #links #<- in case you wanna save this but are too shy to rb! lmk if you'd like me to tag this with anything else :D #this was really really fun to type up ty anon! sending you love n luck :) #feel free to send any thoughts or reactions :) im obv not normal abt this game and rereading each part of the story is vv fun for me #also feel free to send me any more questions you may have!!! #and i think that is. all i have for now :)

[tobyislame]

tobyislame intro and tos

abt me ...

im toby and im a psych major in college :] check out my carrd if you wanna know more

im very autistic and very awful at talking to people if you ever wonder whats wrong with me its that

i had unrestricted internet access as a small child so ive been in the creepypasta fandom since i wus like 10 . i have roots in quotev and (gags) amino

what i post ...

i basically just post about ticci toby . headcanons mostly, but i do writing and x reader stuff when i have free time (when im on break/dont have school)

my dms and ask box are open for whatever, say anything you want i love talking to you guys :]

requests ...

as of now requests are open season, havent really got a feel for what im willing/not willing to write yet so go wild lmao . just keep in mind i only write for toby

if i ever dont respond to a request/ask it either means i didnt understand it (autism) or i didnt know what to say (autism) . its nothing against you (its autism)

if youre <18 DO NOT REQUEST NSFW . i get that you cant really regulate that cus yk anons but i would hope you guys respect my wishes at least . i regard all of you as my friends please be kind to me

my tags ...

#tobyhcs are my headcanons

#tobyxreader is writing that pairs toby and the reader

#tobyworks is for any writing that isnt a bulleted hc post

#tobynsfw is for when i inevitably start writing porn

#tobywords is when im just yammerin or it isnt particularly crp related

dni ...

if youre <18 DO NOT INTERACT WITH NSFW I MAY POST . you will get blocked if you do im so serious i WILL be checking

if youre <17 please dont try to befriend me

links ...

my toby playlist

my spotify

my youtube

my pinterest

#this post will be a continuous wip #my tags for easy navigation #tobyhcs #tobyxreader #tobyworks #tobywords

[tickly-trashcan]

hey guys haha i have a kind of announcement thingy... it is not sunshine and rainbows unfortunately orz

(there will be a tl;dr at the end if yall dont wanna read all my random thoughts lol)

i am going to just be completely honest. i don't really want to write anymore. at least not on this blog...

i know that i have requests but i really have been struggling with... everything!! i just graduated and that was like a punch in the face because everything that i've been feeling for months really became... real??? like i thought i had just been hallucinating all the really bad feelings but it was real!!!

i've been lacking motivation with writing, and every time ive sat down to write i feel bad and terrible and it really is an awful feeling and i'm sick of it... and even when im not writing my silly goof tickle fics those feelings somehow creep into my brain and it's been making it really hard for me to write anything that ive enjoyed.

so... i think what im trying to say... is that i'm going to stop writing for this blog. it isn't because of anyone, i think that its just because ive been doing it for so long that it's become a genuine stresser for me, and i think that by separating myself from this blog, it'll be much easier for me to... exist!

i could go into a LOT more details about how ive been feeling but i really dont want to go too crazy since i am... on the internet lolol but i think that it would be better for me to not write anymore.

so what does this mean for this blog???

i'm not going to be deactivating this blog, and i'll make sure that all my links and such are up to date before i officially leave. I'm not going to like... sign out, and i'll still be active every now and then, but if you'd like to get my discord for any contact, please let me know! i'm not super active on discord right now either though, so please be aware of that lol

this blog is essentially going to be an archive. i'll go through my masterlists and update all of my other important posts, but otherwise, there probably won't be any new content from me.

I probably won't be active on ao3 either, but if you'd like to give my old works a peek as well, you're more than welcome. the link is right here if you're interested!

there's still some stuff that i'm working out as well in my personal life and in cleaning up some loose ends on this blog, so if i take a little bit in responding to anyone, that's why. i'm sorry this is kind of a bleak little post, but i really can't do it anymore.

to everyone who sent in a request in the last round of prompts, thank you so much because it really did make me excited, but i'm not going to be able to complete them... i really appreciate every single one of you, and i hope you can forgive me orz

TL;DR

I'm really really tired and have had a lot of negative feelings for a really long time, and I think that leaving this blog in terms of writing will be best for me in the long run. There will be no more new content from me, but I might still remain active with communications if I can. I'll be updating my blog until it's good enough to leave, and then I will no longer be a content creator.

(sorry that tl;dr sounds more negative than the rest of my post LOL i'm really fine i just... i need to rip the bandaid off and just... be done)

#announcement #important #update #sorry i was really negative in this my bad

[tallysescape]

actually I need to know how that playlist is going for you just in general any thoughts

ok so i was listening to the playlist all day in school so i wasnt thinking too deep on the songs besides “wtf wtf this is SICK” but!!!!

im on a pearl by mitski and here’s some other songs that stood out to me

everyone by mitski. rori you are fucked up for putting this. botw zelda. shaking sobbing on my knees jumping out a WINDOW. SHE HELD BACK THE CALAMITY FOR A CENTURY WHAT IF I DUCKINF LOST IT. “but it didnt want me yet” THE GODDESS. IM DEAD

i want you by mitski.

im ignoring garden song bc you already know how insane it makes me an i cant hit the image limit yet

FROM EDEN BY HOZIER OH MY GOODDDDD i will never shut up abt pre-botw link and zelda they’re so fun (awful terrible im going to cry) to think abt

wasteland baby by hozier. botw zelda is playing this as she pulls up at the castle me thinks

sunlight by hozier (NOTE: there is so much in like all these songs that drive me crazy but im just pulling my fav lines) OUGGGGGG. i could say so much.

i bet on losing dogs by mitski. you didnt have to do this

we’ll never have sex by leith ross. shaky thumbs up

like real people do by hozier MY GOOODDDDD THIS LINE THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. CRAZY. hateno house 💥🔫

about you by the 1975 THIS ENTIRE SONG MESSED ME UP. SHE DIDNT THINK HE WOULD REMEMBER HER BUT HE DID AND I JUST KNOW HE COULDNT WAIT TO TELL HER I JUST OUGOUGHHHHHH AND ME PERSONALLY. i love the hc where the sheika slate can replay the memories like holograms in game so. that hurts me.

seven by taylor swift. SERIOUSLY WHATT. “passed down like folk songs the love lasts so long” HELP ME.

kiss goodnight by idk how but they found me. genuinely dont ever send me links again

shrike by hozier. ough. “i was housed by your warmth thus transformed” “remember me love when i am reborn” ok. totk. i jump in a lake

carefully steps over forth of july like its a landmine

line without a hook by ricky montgomery. I CANNOT ESCAPE THIS GUY. pre botw they were both so messy im gonna die i cant DO THIS

cosmic love by florence + the machine. im literally so sorry jjk fucking stole this song you im SORRY. thinking abt fake zelda so hard i might fuck around and write something

punisher by phoebe bridgers. i just think its crazy how everyone know them through each other. im soooooo normal abt this

gold rush by taylor swift. I ACTUALLY DIDNT GET THIS SONF UNTIL THE END??? i seriously cannot think of anything but fake zelda here. i really might just write the fic. like. he followed her ALL OVER THE KINGDOM AND IT WASNT FUCKING HERE. “so inviting i almost jump in” WHAATTTTTTTTT. “cause it will never be gleaming twinkling eyes like sinking ships on the water” WHAATTTTTTTTTT (PLEASE YELL AT ME ABT THE SONGS TOO)

i guess by mitski. ngl. jjk also got this one. apologies. im in the trenches. BUT. how often to you think they’ve sat somewhere thinking about the second chances they’ve both offered each other. casually slides this to notes app

francis forever by mitski. need i say more. once again i think its fucking insane how tied to each other they are like. oh my god. don’t think abt them in hateno don’t think hateno

first love late spring by mitski. ough

iris by the goo goo dolls. THIS RUINS ME

a pearl by mitski RORI WHEN I CATCH YOU

#👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼 #SEE IM THINKING ABOUT THEM I SWEAR IM THINKING #i told jayme this but the reason i had so many jjk thoughts was bc i was listening to the playlist while reading a jjk fic #and thats how they stole cosmic love and i guess 😭 #GENUINELY THE ENTKRE OLAGLIST IS SO SO SO GOOD IM ON MT KNEES SHAKIN SOBBING AND I HAVEMT EVEN FINISH KT #loz #ask

[the-francakes]

Welcome to tumblr now what...

Hi, I wrote this up for my cousin because she’s never used any platform, but since a lot of twitter users are coming to tumblr, I thought I would share as someone that has been here... way too long. This blog might only be a year old, but i lived through tumblarity. both times. ugh. 

cause i will use this interchangeably and forget to clarify, tumblr dash (short for dashboard) is more or less the same as twitter feed. 

likes - these are a thumbs up. A nice little ‘hey this post is cool!’ or ‘i agree with this post.’ users can elect in settings to have their likes visibly on their page, meaning when you go to their actual tumblr, theres a link to liked posts. however, i have always disabled this in the same vein that none of you will ever see my ao3 history. if you get a like, you’ll get notified, but that’s all it really does in the grand scheme of things. 

reblogs - if theres a post you want to share, reblog it.  reblogging it puts it on the dash (feed) of anyone that follows you. tumblr does have a setting to see popular posts, ‘in your orbit,’ or ‘for you’ as in things it thinks you may like.  it has a setting for recommended posts into your feed. i, and mostly everyone i know, disable these features and rely solely on their dash.  so assume if you’re reblogging this post, you’re sharing it to make sure the people that follow you also see it. if no one reblogs this post, then only the 150 people that follow me will see it and it will die. which is totally cool. im rambling all over this shit and forgot what capital letters are. its probably half wrong anyways. 

some people will say always reblog instead of like. i think its give or take. it depends on what you like, what you want to share, you’re weird taste in shit you want people to know about and not know. if you reblog, you will make sure more people see something wonderful and its a really lovely and free way to help writers, artists, etc. spread their art.

commenting on a reblog - its not necessary.  I probably do it once in a blue moon these days.  adding a comment in your reblog is like jumping into the conversation. usually i reserve this for things that are important and want others to build on as well. or continue the shitpost cause i like to think im funny sometimes. if its something like my bullshit commentary that really does not apply to anything in the post or i dont want spread on everyone’s dash as they go on to reblog it, i write it in the tags. for example, please reblog this and add anything i missed that helps you navigate tumblr. write in the tag if you think its bullshit and i should delete. 

replies - replies were made because when they didn’t exist, people would have ‘dash conversations’ by reblogging one post over and over and over and over again.  it would be a post of 50+ posts of two people having a conversation and about things like is it red or blood orange.  this was especially awful in rp when sometimes posts would only be a few sentences asking ‘hey whats up how are you.’ so use a reply if you want to tell the original poster something, but youre not adding onto the post.  a good reply to this post would be a ‘thanks for posting this’ but a good reblog with a comment would be ‘i agree, but also you forgot this important bit!’ 

something different than twitter (i think???) - your replies do not just show up on someone’s dash. they have to click the little word bubble on the post to read them. 

tagging - tagging someone with an @ will give them a notification that you mentioned them in your post.  you can also tag in replies.  you don’t need to tag the original poster in a reply because they will get a notif that says ‘___ replied to your post.’ my brain is fuzzy here, but i believe if you put a reply on a post that is a reblog, both the current poster/reblogger and the original poster will get notifs. i only say this cause some people get annoyed by too much tagging, but as someone that doesnt give a shit, just always tag me. tumblr eats shit or doesnt work sometimes, so just blow up my notifs. 

asks/submit - some people enable you to ask or submit posts.  when they answer the ask or approve the submission, it will end up as a post on their dash.  if the ask is not anon, they can also reply privately. a lot of people do not allow anons these days because while tumblr is one of the better social medias ive encountered, there are still some assholes that like to send hate anons. and i will say this for the people skimming this - ASKS GET EATEN. aka they disappear from asks boxes or don’t even show up. if someone says they didn’t get it, there’s probably like an 80% chance they are not lying. there’s a 20% chance they are and don’t want to answer it but like that’s their choice too. 

messaging - for the new kids, this is DMing. for the cool kids in back, this feature was enabled cause aol took aim away from us. this caused a huge panic of how do we privately talk to our friends since while replies are okay for convos, anyone can see them and tbh can get cumbersome for longer communication.  i use this feature a lot to send my friends posts that i need to make sure they see.  maybe its not my sort of content id reblog, but i know for a sure thing they will love it, so im passing it along for them to reblog, laugh at, tell me im an asshole cause its a meme making fun of them, etc. 

ask games - sometimes people reblog posts that say SEND ME A NUMBER and theres a list of numbered questions.  as i grew up here in roleplay, i was taught it was good tumblr etiquette to always send numbers to the person you reblogged from. I was also taught just to send numbers if you see them cause you’re cultivating friendships here and maybe you don’t know the person, but TRUST ME, they will love and appreciate you took the time to get to know them just a little. its not hard to send 1-5 and then fuck off but it will give them something fun to do and maybe make their entire day so.. send the numbers. 

WHAT YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO: who interacts with your posts a lot. do you see the same username liking your things? does the person reply a lot. FOLLOW THEM! reply to their posts! fangirl from afar and send a shy ask saying hi i love you. propose on the dash.  answer their questions. become FRIENDS. we’re all the weird kids here so don’t worry, we love you already. 

WHAT NOT TO DO: NEVER STEAL POSTS OR CONTENT. this means, you see a pretty piece of art- reblog it. do not right click, copy link to image, and make your own post.  love a passage someone wrote? see a HILARIOUS joke? do not copy and paste it into your own post.  If you feel in someway you NEED to do this, contact the original poster, ask permission and how they want to be credited.  you might have to link to their tumblr, you might have to link to their tumblr, ig, ao3, website, mom’s best friends snapchat, whatever... you listen to how they want to be credited and respect it. and if they say no? go reblog it and sit down. this is the same how you would never copy and paste someone’s tweet and say it as your own. or would you???? is that a thing??? maybe i shouldn’t be helping you come here... 

ALSO, JUST LIKE AO3, NOTES MEAN NOTHING. a lot of notes does not mean its a great post. Something can have 500 notes and its two friends shitposting ‘hi’ back and forth in the replies 250 times each.  and yes, this has happened before and will happen again because this is a hellscape. 

crabs/april fools/tumblarity/fonts and colors/xkit - you know how in YOU they have those like seven totems of living in LA? same concept except when you understand it all, you’re cursed to live here forever. you’re welcome. 

--- --- --- 

please expand, add to this, tell me im wrong, tell me to get off tiktok cause i need to stop yelling at children to let me love my favorite ships idc what canon says.  

the good news is, if you think you’re doing it wrong, then youre using tumblr right.  people might say don’t use it like a diary, but you bet ill write a long ass post venting about my depression and/or that my sock has a hole in the toe.  people say posts have to have content and length... brevity is the soul of wit or whatever and i love a good shitpost and i will reblog a post that is legit ‘wish i could pet a dog today.’ 

#tumblr #twitter #don't forget to feed your horse

[marias-wonderland]

💜 Welcome to Maria's Wonderland! Where your worries drift away and auspiciousness fills up your heart 💜

please read until the end

As you may have guessed, I'm Maria and this is my tumblr account! ~&lt;3

10 Facts about me!

I'm 20 years old from Greece 🇬🇷

I'm studying English language and literature but, that doesn't mean i dont make mistakes in both languages :')

I'm Christian Orthodox ☦

Ever since i remember myself i loved books and movies. Imagination was a shelter for me.

I'm very quiet and easy-going most of the time

I enjoy wine a bit too much for my own good (not my fault if combined with well done supper)

I love flowers and flowery patterned clothes! My favourite ones are: roses, gardenias and water lilies

I enjoy nature even though i never come outside of my room (but don't take me to the sea. I can't stand the sea)

I love dogs and birds

My youtube playlists might contain 80's heavy metal, classical music and Britney Spears all mixed up :')

In here you will find:

(Mostly) Reshares of my 3 favourite couples (Alutegra, Clannibal & Dragatha)

Posts that i relate to / find funny / informative / aesthetically pleasing and everything in between

Me complaining in the tags about how Clannibal should have gotten more attention, how the nbc show was flaming garbage and how hann*gram is awful (always with love, obviously. . . )

My love-hate relationship with the hellsing fandom on tumblr (for real, what's up with those people?)

My love and appreciation for the dracula 2020 fandom 💜 💖 (love ya girls ~<3)

Posts from other fandoms too! Like Naoki urasawa's monster, IWTV & WWDINS!

Basically posts with weird tags. Tags arent supposed to be taken seriously. They mostly are for me cuz i laugh while writing them

Me talking with my cousin in greek in some posts (Γεια σου ξαδέρφη!!! ~<3)

Did you know I'm a fanfic writer? No? Don't worry, neither do most people! But that's why this link is here!

Go and enjoy (?) The many (not) stories I've written!^^

I accept prompts and fanfic ideas for the already mentioned couples I love! So pleaseeeeeee, don't be shy 💝💝💝 share your ideas and love about those silly lil blorbos with me!! 💖💖💖💖 let our love for our blorbos unite us and make more friendships 💖💖💖

(One last thing before we finish: as much as i complain about certain stuff/ blorbos/ ideas etc, in the end we are all people with much more important stuff to do. So relax, enjoy some stuff, act like an old lady sometimes and *always* be respectful of others ~<3)

Ta-ta. MF.

#personal #self introduction #thought why not? #perhaps this way we can get to know each other #Or perhaps for people to know with what kind of an idiot they are dealing with #Now they have no excuses. I come with instructions! And warnings ⚠️ #have a nice day

[lemonsbakery]

— and as we lay in the warm sunrise, becoming freshly baked sunshine pies!

✩ About me !

Lemon — 15 — Nonbinary — Any prns + neos

Italian — Self taught artist — Theorist and analyst

Autistic + susp adhd — too silly to handle

Time to go into detail !

- When I say I go by any pronouns, I mean ANY pronouns. You can call me anything as long as it isn't offensive. Please do not stick to one pronoun set for me. Get creative!

- I'm almost entirely tone-deaf, tonetags are very appreciated! Though, please don't overdo it. That only confuses me.

- I tend to get nervous very easily, especially around new people, so please try to be careful with me. Paranoia is not fun.

- I'm very violent with my words. For example, i might describe crushing you into a pringles can in explicit detail to express my love for you.

- selective kosmemophobia haver. (how else do I phrase that?? I'm only scared of certain kinds of jewelry)

- I LOVE SPAM NOTIFICATIONS THEY MAKE ME FEEL SO HAPPYY

✩ Tags! (Dear god I'm awful at them)

#lem speaks - me speaking. I rarely use this tag.

#lem rambles - me rambling.

#lem answers - me answering an ask!!

#lems confusion room - silly posts that dont make sense

#lems art - my art!

#lem edits - my edits (mainly memes)

#lem writes - writing/I think philosophy. I forgot

#lems ocs - content about my ocs!

#lem stfu abt [___] - me rambling about a certain topic/character (either roguefort, almond or needy streamer overload :3c )

✩ Interests !

FNAF

Cookie Run Ovenbreak

Menhera

Needy streamer overload

MLP:FIM

Omori

Tomodachi life

Swapnote

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

DDLC

Vocaloid/Utau/ETC

Body decomposition (sorry again)

Psychology

Mitski's work

Vivinos' work

Cheese (yeah. Like literal cheese.)

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[lastcrush]

wanted plots for all of my muses !

by no means is this comprehensive and some plots are vague so we can build on it more. you can consider this a jumping off point for when we're plotting and we're having trouble coming up with something. source link is my muse page for reference. absolutely ask more about a muse if you want more information. while most of these are slice-of-life plots, i will absolutely give supernatural, fantasy (modern or historical), & crime verses upon request.

PLEASE LIKE AND/OR MESSAGE ME IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ANY OF THESE PLOTS. while i recognize that the same plot will be written out differently with a different partner, i’ll likely cap each plot at a maximum of three depending on how much attention certain ones get.

jester flores / drummer / 24 / they+she

rival band shenanigans... battle of the bands... maybe theyre on the same label and there's stress from that...

oops sorry for accidentally punching you in the face in the mosh pit meet ugly

secret relationship where the rest of the band hates the other person because they're from a rival band/label but that won't stop jester from seeing your muse

lennox greaves / f1 driver / 25 / he

rival driver ... some rivals to lovers stuff here ... fated 2 be mortal enemies and yes they do hate eachother. yes they do constantly find eachother during the after parties. yes they are nearly killing eachother on the track but thats ok

pr relationship <3 sorry i do love them...

ummm someone in another sport ? idk we can build from that..

i think nox should actually win a race once. maybe he gets transferred off of sentinel onto your muse's team. as a little treat. maybe we can combine this with the first one.

beejal shah / novelist / 26 / any

your muse Knows that bee’s mom is a high profile actress and that her dad is a politician. they know. they plan to bring this to light for some reason. maybe they dont like her. maybe they don’t like her parents. whatever. chaos. 

REALITY TV SHOW. i havent seen any but i just think it’d be fun to write bee in that type of environment considering how awful she can be. will likely require a lot of plotting. romantic or platonic or antagonistic i want them at eachother’s throats i want them to kiss i want them to be messy.

fellow authors :3 maybe they write in the same genre. maybe they write in completely different genres. r they friends? r they enemies? who knows. we'll figure it out

haha someone who is a fan of both bee's shitty webnovels and her published works and is putting 2 & 2 together .. very close to figuring out the connection .... drama !

james adeyemi / museum curator / 27 / she+they+he

idk i think it would be fun to have recent exes that just keep running into eachother and okay fine we can try again one (1) more time except it’s a mess and their friends r begging them to stop going back to eachother but they Can’t. anyway.

fellow phd candidates.... i think she should have someone to suffer with.... meet cutes i think would be fun with this

people who work at the museum with her !! archaeology nerds perhaps. maybe they dig too deep into something that's delivered to the museum and it ends up being supernatural in nature. maybe your muse is supernatural in nature.

faking dating for no fucking reason. maybe it turns into a fake engagement. hell, let's do a marriage of convenience.

percival nwodo / law associate / 28 / they+he

right so remember when i said he's based on mik.e r.oss from suits. :3 i do think a m.ike / r.achel type of ship would be fun... to me personally ..... percy should suffer, really, is what im saying. tl;dr y/m also works at the same corporate law firm and after a while of a push/pull type thing with percy, they get together ! and then much too late y/m finds out that percy has been essentially lying about who he is (re: does Not have a law degree and has never gone to harvard). angst ! fun !

alternatively, maybe indulge me in a little superhero type plot .... yeah lets pull a daredevil <3 percy & y/m run a shitty law firm together and percy is a masked vigilante at night.

shion iwasaki / medical examiner fellow / 29 / he+xe+she / half-ghoul

supernatural that has been a supernatural creature for longer and helps shion understand what he is (a ghoul) and is just genuinely nice to him and wants to see him survive

a hunter that works in the same supernatural hunting organization that his family does and is tracking him down. why? angst <3

supernatural that sees shion, a brand new half-ghoul, as an opportunity / something to exploit. maybe shion is exactly the perfect alibi they need because he's found himself investigating supernatural deaths now. idfk.

kazuharu miya / bodyguard + underground fighter / 30 / he / werewolf

sorry i am by design a sucker for bodyguard/person that they are guarding ships. give. additional reasons for giving me this : the who did this to you trope.

for you historical fantasy nerds : let haru be your muse's loyal knight. perhaps they met when haru was young and ur muse was never meant to be next in line to the throne but things happened that propelled y/m into the role of the kingdom's ruler and who better to have by your side than your childhood best friend who will take a sword for you without question?

also a sucker for people bandaging haru's dumbass up after fights.

ummm supernatural things... vampire from the clan that killed his family maybe.

naomi furukawa / private investigator / 34 / he+they

they met years ago when naomi was still in the fbi and were partners (i mean literally, they worked together, but they could have been partners). your muse is considered dead. while naomi is working a case as a PI he comes upon something that leads them to find your muse, alive. cue angst heartbreak reconnection

haha your muse is a criminal. naomi is tasked with finding them/taking them down. he thought this case was going to be small and easy but it quickly unravels into something much bigger than expected. game of cat and mouse. at eachother’s throats. one of them always one step ahead of the other.

you: give me a superhero/powered character. me: gives you a PI that is hired to investigate something that said powered person is involved in. chaos <3

nuri jeong / actor + stuntperson / 35 / they

dysfunctional celeb couple

your character does not know who nuri is and nuri is absolutely fucking elated by that. can be platonic/antagonistic

ldr :') they were together for a year and then your muse has to move for job or family or something else 12 timezones away and nuri can’t go with them because they have their own responsibilities here so they decide theyll try this LDR thing and for the first few months its going great even if it means theyre both sacrificing sleep and their health but then it starts getting a little worse and they dont call as often and theyre starting to have doubts and one of them decides enough is enough and goes on a little trip to see the other without telling them and thats as far as i got

december kelley / event photographer / 25 / they / vampire

ember meets ur muse at a wedding they are photographing (someone in the bridal party? grooms party? one of the people that is getting married? who knows.... heh...) and they hit it off... perhaps better than the marrying couple themselves

ember's gf that turned them into a vampire.... maybe she isnt dead ! maybe she went into hiding. whatever. ember's pissed now because how dare you turn them into a vampire and then abandon them?

wedding cake baker... idk its just fun to me...

lochan rao / researcher + professor / 37 / she+he

okay stay with me here. give me lochan's ex-fiancé. the fiancé broke it off because they thought she wasn’t giving them enough time. they find eachother again. lochanwants to get back together because of course she does. whether your muse agrees or doesnt is up to you but personally i’d love to explore the fall of their relationship and the rebuilding of it and the hesitance and the angst and everything that comes with it.

LOL. REBOUND!!! she deserves a little bit of a rebound. maybe it’s only one night maybe it lasts a month. maybe they stay friends after maybe they don’t maybe they were always in love with her and she sees them as temporary.

your muse work’s in the same department as lochan at the same university (or hospital works too?? we're flexible) :) a little bit of a rivalry. for fun :) maybe its more :)

lochan and your muse made a pact when they were in their twenties that if they aren’t married by forty, then they’d marry each other. with 40 close, your muse contacts lochan after over a decade of not talking. they meet up, start talking again, discuss how the pact was silly and they fall in love anyway :)

wolfgang kestrel / music store owner / 39 / they+he

right so. hes in the witness protection program. would be fun and probably dangerous if someone who he knew in his previous life finds him, huh... perhaps even someone who was involved with the reason he's there in the first place.

bites my fist... oh what i wouldnt do for a single parent (wolfgang) / teacher thing..... hes very very understandably protective of his son okay..

ummm alternatively.... wolfgang is the teacher bc he teaches music at his store sometimes. maybe ur muse would like to learn music. maybe ur muse has a kid that wants to learn

celeste owuor / editor in chief / 40 / she

i'd be a liar if i said i didnt want some devil wears prada thing. but like with a newspaper. you get it.

idk . rivals? eocs of other papers? people that celeste fucked over to get where she is? we can figure it out

situationship. at their big age. yeah. celeste keeps putting work first and your muse is fed up with it because they rightfully would like a little morsel of attention sometimes.

silas montague / firefighter / 40 / he

you know ben warren and miranda bailey from greys? yeah. that

silas keeps saving y/m and is suspicious by how its always on His Shift that theyre in danger but whatever

angel flores / hacker / 42 / he+they+xe

your muse hires angel for their hacking services and you pose it as a No Big Deal thing thats totally fine but it ends up unravelling into something else entirely. haha whoops. now youre on the run together

your muse and angel are friends. or at least as close to friends as angel manages to get to others. you notice his typically immaculate memory starting to go a little... off.

he deserves some sci-fi things. perhaps some fantasy things, even.

i'm running on fumes i think angel deserves to kiss someone and that it should be angsty. as a little treat.

santiago leon / math teacher + anti-hero / 45 / he

literally anything to do with superpowers/heros/villains etc. idk it would be fun to me in particular !

someone who Also came back to life Changed and they bond over it <3

fellow teachers :3

your character has a teenager that santi teaches math to o7 ... would be fun if santi taught at a private school and ur muse was from a very popular / influential family. for fun . i guess

magdalena diaz / trauma surgeon / 48 / they+she

someone she met in group therapy / grief therapy when her long term girlfriend passed. these two are still in contact and have occasional meet ups just to check in on eachother and make sure the other is doing well. platonic or romantic idk up2you

idk. some grey's anatomy shit <3

vivianne park / horror writer / 50 / she

if you want horror plots you want anne. she's been plagued by the Horrors since she was a child and has used that as insp for her writings that are getting increasingly more concerning.

some ghost/monster hunting business would be fun :p

hey have you seen killing eve- [i am forcefully taken off stage]

#indie rp #indie oc rp #indie bi rp #if any muses r missing its bc theyre about to be removed.. sowwy #& KEVA : WANTED.

[abyssal-cryptid]

Still thoughts about Tears of the Kingdom (SPOILERS)

The Great Fairies look like they want to eat the small man when they first emerge

Zonai Zelda is so cute

The memories bro the memories

THERE IS A SECOND GIANT HORSE

Why cant I put flowers in their mane

Please let me marry Zonai Zelda

Rauru is like lmao Zelda I wont die *dies*

Rauru dont give Zelda more trauma she has been through so much already

Rauru is like "we will put this all on Link"

HE'S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH

I will write angry fanfic about this

Gleeoks are so terrifying what the fuck

You can upgrade your horses

What did they do to my beautiful dessert

They let me in as a man??? Noooo I was waiting to enjoy the complicated feelings of Link's gender again

Riju looks so good in this new look

Its so hot everywhere

Nooo my coins my coins!!!

Again doing shrines because I need hearts and stamina

I am a well enthusiast

I caught the golden horsie

Trying to find a perfect colored 5* speed horse is hard

Why are there gleeoks everywhere

IVE BEEN COLLECTING HORSE GEAR

Outfits my one true love

My horses are so cute

Let me customize the big horses pleaseee

I need to murder more deer for coins

Need to go deal with the Lurelin Village Pirates

DID I FREAK OUT ABOUT GIBDOS YET

I HATE THEM

Sorry I write these while Im not playing so I dont always remember to go in order

Im also writing fanfic because of course I am look at me

YOU CAN MAKE PICKAXES FROM THE MOBLIN HORNS

Im having so much fun

Shrines are becoming less awful

MY GOD I HATE GANONDORF

NOT SONIA

NOOOO

Wait how is Zelda the descendant of Sonia and Rauru if Sonia died without children

I saved this man's goats

Satori mountain is said to have endura carrots. I need them please

THE STICKY ARMOR LOOKS SO COOL

Im pro-all armors that show off Link's cool arm

I looked up how to get to Hestu and

I know what I need to do but I dont have the strength to do it

No joke theyre evil for this

How do I get gloom resistant armor

Playing the Zora main questline

The sky island has moon gravity!!

Where is Kass

The new dragon is a Light Dragon

Finally some good fucking food (All the apples on satori mountain)

Me: oh shit blood moon should be soon

Literally the next night: blood moon

Im a psychic

You are correct Roman there is so many apples here you do deserve some here you go baby boy

The checkmark you get for caves is if you killed the Bubbulfrog in there

I need to kill more

I want the full mystic armor

I have one friend who isnt into LOZ and I could tell all this to her but its no fun if she knows nothing about it

She does send me Zelda memes tho. 10/10 friend

Finally endura carrots

WAIT HOLD ON YIGA CLOTHES

OMG FINALLY

I love Malanya so much

Best god

I love Sidon but my god is he just in the way during the Water Temple

On the way, making me waste my bubbles, why do I have to be next to him to get the bubble

GET OUT OF THE WAY LET ME HIT THE CROCODILE

Useless

Hearing Zelda being referred to as the Sage of Time >>>>

Also I will not shut up about how pretty Zelda is

I have to draw her

Im a simple lesbian

My switch camera is full of screenshots of her

Every cutscene has her be so pretty

Sidon made me my own copy of him

And this man isnt marrying me

KING DOREPHAN DIDNT DIE

YAY

I dont think I could have handled that

WAIT SIDON'S BECOMING KING???

My camera roll is also full of screenshots of Sidon

NOO YONA BECAME QUEEN

DONT CALL HER BELOVED SIDON

SIDON STOP CALLING HER ENDEARING NAMES

SIDON

Yona is actually really sweet Im just having a moment

A sad day for Sidon lovers everywhere

King Sidon is handsome

He literally got on his knees to swear a vow to me and gave me a ring and married Yona

Yona is cute and I love her

Like her voice too

She's adorable

Maybe we can do a triad

Political(ish) marriage + one crackhead who attracts all the trouble

No because I still actively avoid spots where there used to be guardians

I was at a stable and went "no cant go that way there's guardians"

Nightmares wont give up ever apparently

ALSO HAVE YALL SEEN THE TIKTOKS OF LIKE

PEOPLE ABUSING THE BACKBAG KOROKS

There has been so many crucifications. The Korok Space Program. Fire is involved

I've also seen people build bombers and mechs

I love it

It seems so wild to me because I dont build in this game

If I can avoid it

I do use the dispensers but thats because its gambling

But all the material spots just get ignored

Nope

Dont care

Im going on Roman (my horsie)

But I love everyone is vibing

But still. I need easy mode

These posts are how I process the game btw. Been surprised that people have liked them. I will keep going because I have to process what I feel about things (doctor's orders)

#tears of the kingdom #legend of zelda #spoilers

[darkthingshappen]

Brother's Keeper: The Power of Music

This is a thank you all of my followers. I have now reached 300!!!! I had several requests for Ben fluffy. But I am me, so this fluff is... angsty. It's fluffy angst. Flangst™️.

I can't believe this many of y'all follow me for this. It's so much fun being on this hell site with all of you. I will try to write some actual fluffy fluff for my sweet Ben at some point, but there's so much fun pain in the current arc that I still have to deal with. Hahahahaha

As always, I'd like to say a HUGE thank you to the wonderful @whumpcereal for her amazing job betaing my story and poking and prodding where needed to make me a better writer. This story wouldn't be what it is with out her pushing me to "give" more.

Content warnings: nothing explicit, but a lot of alluded to or implied past trauma including implied past noncon.

Lastly, I have included links to some Youtube music in case you are not familiar with the songs mentioned in this piece or if you just wanna listen along while you read. They can be found at the end of the piece.

Tagging List: @i-can-even-burn-salad @peachy-panic @deluxewhump @arwenadreamer @whumpcereal @melancholy-in-the-morning @dont-touch-my-soup @whumpsday @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @oddsconvert @melennui @susiequaz12 @morning-star-whump @crystalquartzwhump @whump-and-other-things @mylifeisonthebookshelf @reflected-pain @hold-him-down @quietshae @sparrowsage @quietly-by-myself @no-terms-and-conditions-apply (I hope I’m not forgetting anyone - please let me know if I am and I’ll fix it. I’m still getting used to this) 

Ben laid curled up in a ball on his bed in the psychiatric hospital he’d been brought to upon his rescue from Volkov.  It hadn’t been what they had all hoped for.  The Adkins family had wanted to bring him straight home, but the intensity, frequency, and severity of his flashbacks had made that impossible.  So now, he was in an unfamiliar, sterile room in a near catatonic state.  He was safe, but he wasn’t home.  

Maria Adkins silently wondered if her youngest son would ever fully come home.  She sat in the chair next to his bed, but she didn’t reach for him.  They had to be so cautious with being near him, let alone touching him.  The boy she’d dreamed about wrapping in her arms for the entirety of his captivity couldn’t stand to be touched.  His eyes were open most of the day, they seemed to see everything and nothing all at the same time.  

There would be long stretches where he stared at the wall and rocked back and forth.  Other times his eyes darted around the room seeing terrors only he could see.  Ben had always been so bright and joyful, but now his soft brown eyes were haunted.  Would he ever come out from behind the walls he’d built around his mind?  Yes, he’d survived, but he wasn’t living, not yet anyway.  He’d shut himself away in his own head just so that he’d be able to cope with the trauma he’d had to endure.  

How long had he spent cooped up in that awful cage that she’d seen pictures of?  Her husband had tried to shield her, but she had to know.  She’d snuck into his office and flipped through the files.  She’d stopped when she saw the chains attached to that monster’s bed frame.  

How was she supposed to get through to him after the horror’s he’d been forced to endure?  She wanted nothing more than to pull him into her arms and hold him like she did when he was a small child, but it was the one thing she couldn’t do.  Her baby was lost.  He was here, but he was utterly lost.  They needed a lifeline that would help him find his way back home from wherever he was in his head.  That’s why she’d asked Zoe to come today. She only hoped it would help. 

There was a soft knock at the door.  It opened with a click, and Zoe’s bright red head poked in.  

Mrs. Adkins smiled at her.  “Hey, honey, thanks for coming.” 

“Of course,” Zoe whispered, coming into the small room, a large black case on her back.  “I’m happy to help.  How is he doing today?”

Maria smiled at the young woman.  Benny and Zoe had been thick as thieves since they were sixteen-years-old.  Maria adored Zoe; she was a good match for her boy.  They were both academically gifted, but Zoe had spirit, which kept Ben on his toes.  He needed that.  

“Mostly the same.  A lot of rocking today.  I wish I knew what he was seeing.”  

She smiled sadly at Zoe.  They were so young, almost children still.  They shouldn’t be dealing with this level of evil.  They should be studying and debating the great mysteries of life.  They should be figuring out who they were.  Zoe was wholly dedicated to Ben.  She’d, at a minimum, stopped by at least once a day every day since he’d come home.  The first visit had been the hardest.  Like they had all accidentally done, she’d reached out and combed her fingers through his hair before anyone could stop her, and he’d devolved into a flashback and full on panic attack.  Zoe had left sobbing into Jake’s shoulder while he tried to tell her it was okay, that it wasn’t her fault.  

Maria half-expected Zoe to be afraid to come back.  She’d spoken to Zoe’s mother, and it was evident they thought their daughter should try to move on.  But they were good people and would trust their daughter.  They didn’t want her to be hurt, and Ben’s disappearance had hurt more deeply than anything else Zoe had ever gone through.  

Maria was a mom, she understood.  But Zoe was a lover.  When she came the next day, there was a fierceness in her eyes that Maria recognized in her own expression.  Zoe was in it for the long haul.  Ben was hers, and she wasn’t about to let go.  Maria approved.  

Zoe’s eyes moved to Ben’s curled up form.  Her red eyebrows knit together in concern.  “Yeah, but I think whatever it is he’s seeing must be pretty scary.  Ben was never afraid of much.  He was always so protective of me.  I can’t imagine how bad things got to make him like this.”

Things had gotten bad.  Zoe didn’t know the half of it.  Maria hoped she never would, but she had a feeling that the determined little Irish girl in front of her would find out, one way or another.  Maria wished to God that she could shield her, shield them both, but despite the fact that she still saw them as children, they weren’t.  Not anymore.  There was an innocence that that monster had stolen from both of them.  

“You brought your cello?” Maria asked.

“Just like you asked.  You really think it’ll help?”

“You know how much he loved hearing and watching you play.”

Zoe blushed slightly.  “I loved playing for him.  He was my biggest cheerleader.” Zoe laughed softly at a memory.  “He cheered like he was at a Penguins game.  The rest of the audience would be politely applauding and he’d be on the first row, whistling and cheering.”  Her expression grew wistful as her eyes darted back to him.  “You know I always told him I hated that and that it embarrassed me.  But, all it took was one concert without it for me to know I really loved it.” Her voice was suddenly quiet. “I’ve barely played since then.  I missed two recitals.  I just couldn’t do it without him there.  It was too quiet.”

Zoe wiped a stray tear off her cheek.  “He was always there for me, since we were sixteen.  Maybe this can help me be there for him.”

Mrs. Adkins rubbed Zoe’s back.  “If this doesn’t work, it’s okay.  It’s not on you, honey, to bring him back.  You’ve been hurt through all this too.  We all have.”  She gave Zoe’s shoulder a squeeze.  “It doesn’t change the fact that you love him and he loves you.”

Zoe swallowed and nodded.  

“Here.  You take the chair, and get set up.  I’ll be back in a bit and I’ll see if I can get another chair in here.”  She patted Zoe’s shoulder again and stepped out of the room.  

*!*!*!*!*

Zoe’s hands shook a little as she set up her cello.  She set the endpin in the rest stop and then rosined her bow.  She gazed at Ben, curled up in the fetal position and rocking slightly.  Most of the time his eyes were open, but every now and then he would squeeze his eyes shut and his body would shake with some horrible memory that he couldn’t cope with.  Zoe suspected much about what had happened to him.  

Whether this worked or not, she was determined to find out.  She couldn’t help him if she didn’t know.  She knew Ben’s parents would never tell her.  But Jake might be persuaded.  Or intimidated.  Zoe wasn’t above emotional manipulation if it meant she could help Ben.  She loved Jake like a brother, but she wasn’t blind.  Jake was the connection to that monster and why Ben had been taken in the first place.  He owed her, and Ben.  

“Hey, Benny.” She angled her body and cello slightly, so that she was able to see him full on with her back to the door of the room.  “I learned a new song that you haven’t heard me play before.  It’s the only thing I’ve felt since you’ve been gone.  I missed you, bestie.  It’s been so quiet without you.  So, here we go…”

The mournful strains of Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence” soon filled the room.  The notes were deep to begin with, but on a cello, there was no comparison as the rich tones of the music resounded from the walls.  By the time she got to the line, silence like a cancer grows, Zoe’s tears were coursing down her cheeks and dripping off her chin to run down the length of her cello.  She poured every ounce of the loss she’d felt during all the time that Ben was gone into that melody.  

Zoe had panicked when her small touch had sent Ben spiraling.  She worried it was a rejection of her.  But Jake had explained that he’d reacted the same to each of them.  Touch-averse was the word he said the doctors used.  Touch-averse.  The man who was always so tender and affectionate with her.  The man who held her hand when they walked to the park, the man who was always ready to throw his arms around her.  The man that was always her support, physically and mentally, was touch-averse.  It had seemed like a cruel cosmic joke at first.  Her parents had told her it was okay if she moved on.  They told her the Ben from before was most likely gone.  They weren’t wrong, Ben would never be the same.  But that was true for all of them. Zoe would never be the same either, and she didn’t want to be–she had to move forward with Ben. 

Zoe poured everything she had into reading up on touch averse therapies and long term recovery options.  It was too soon to tell if this would be lasting.  And Zoe loved Ben more than anything in the whole world.  And when you love something, you fight for it.  So she came back, day after day after day.  

When she finished the song, the deafening silence echoed back at her from every corner of the room as last notes fluttered in the air.  

Quietly, Mrs. Adkins stepped back into the room, wiping her own tears.  The two women understood each other.  Zoe took a deep breath and started the next tune.  In her head she sang, softly and sweetly, Joyful joyful we adore thee, God of Glory, Lord of Love; Hearts unfold like flow’rs before thee, op’ning to the sun above. Melt the clouds of sin and sadness, drive the dark of doubt away.  Giver of immortal gladness, fill us with the light of day.  

This was one of Ben’s favorite hymns.  He’d always loved the simplicity of it.  The tune, the words, the hope.  He thought they were beautiful.  She’d laughed the first time she’d scrolled through his music and found no less than twelve versions of the same hymn.  Fast ones, slow ones, classical versions, a version from a popular 90’s movie.  It didn’t seem to matter, Ben loved them all.  He was no singer, but as they grew up and grew closer, Zoe loved to hear him frequently humming this sweet melody.  If he was feeling silly, he might belt it out at the top of his lungs.  It was his go-to happy tune.  Zoe suspected his mother had something to do with that.  

Zoe played.  She sang through every verse.  She wasn’t sure exactly when Mrs. Adkins joined in, but her sweet voice filled the room mingling with the lovely chords dancing under Zoe’s fingers.  Together, they both sang the final verse of the song, Ever singing, march we onward, victors in the midst of strife.  Joyful music leads us sunward, in the triumph song of life.  

Slowly, Zoe finished out the notes, but her eyes weren’t on her cello, they were on Ben’s.  They were clear, and he was watching her.  At some point, his lips had started moving along with the words of the song.  Zoe made a snap decision and kept playing.  She’d already played through the whole thing once, but she couldn’t let him retreat.  Not when he was here in this moment.  She played it over again, the entire glorious hymn.  

Mrs. Adkins sat on the floor next to Ben’s bed, her hand resting softly on the sheet beside him. Ben’s hand moved slightly from where it had been curled up under his chin to just next to his mother’s hand.  Their fingers brushed slightly, and he didn’t pull away.  Zoe watched with tear- filled eyes as Maria moved her fingers over his, slowly and gently, and held his hand.  They both held their breath for a second and then released when he made no move to pull away.  Zoe could see the tears trickling down her cheeks.  Ben didn’t talk, but he looked between the two of them while he mouthed the words.  Zoe smiled at him while her fingers sang the tune.  When she finally did reach the end of the song, and the gentle notes still hung in the air, she looked at Ben.

“Hi, it’s good to see you again.  I’ve really missed you.”

Ben had tears in his eyes, and they spilled down his cheek at her words. His lips started to move, but he didn’t make a sound. Zoe smiled at him.

“It’s okay.  You don’t have to say anything right now.  You just rest so you can heal.  I’ll keep playing.”

He gave her a weak half-smile.  

Zoe’s fingers started to move again, and the delicate notes of “Brahms' Lullaby” filtered through the room.  Mrs. Adkins hummed along;  Zoe remembered her saying that she used to hum that song to him when he was a baby.  Like “Ode to Joy,” she continued to play as she watched Ben grow sleepy, his eyes drooping, but for once not filled with terrors, but soft memories and safety.  Soon, he was sleeping, real sleep, a sleep that was deep and natural.  

Zoe played long after he’d fallen asleep, in an attempt to ward off the nightmares that so often disturbed his slumber.  She played through suites, opuses, odes, and lullabies.  It was the longest concert she’d ever performed, but she wouldn’t have had it any other way.  Ben had been home, really home, even if just for a few minutes.  It was progress.  

She was utterly exhausted when she packed up her cello hours later.  But the exhaustion was tempered with satisfaction.  It had worked.  They’d successfully drawn him out from behind the walls he’d hidden behind.  

Mrs. Adkins enfolded her in a mother’s embrace.  “Thank you for this, Zoe.  I think we can see a little light at the end of the tunnel.  Just a bit.”

“I hope so.  I’ll come back tomorrow and play some more.”

“That would be great.  Get some rest.  I’m sure that was tiring.”

“Worth every ache just to see him look at me for real.”

“Yes.  Me too.”

Zoe walked over to Ben and dared to touch his shoulder.  He was sleeping soundly and did not stir.  She started to lean down to kiss him and glanced at his mom for permission.  Mrs. Adkins was still sitting next to him, still holding his hand.  The older woman smiled warmly at her and nodded.  

Zoe leaned down and gently pressed her lips to Ben’s temple.  Her fingers grazed the deep scar over his cheekbone where he’d clearly been beaten.  

“I love you, Benny Bear,” she whispered into his ear.  She stood and gathered her music, stand, and instrument.  It took her a few minutes to get everything packed away.  

“See you tomorrow, Mrs. Adkins,” Zoe said, with a yawn as she shrugged her cello bag onto her back. 

“Yes, darling.  I’ll see you tomorrow.  I know he can’t say it right now, but he loves you very much.”

“I know.  But thank you for telling me.  I hope you know how much I love him.”

She would have given anything to hear Ben say it, but knowing his mother knew it meant she could wait until he could say it himself again.  And he would.  She was certain of that.  She might not know the timeline, but she would get him back.  There was no world in which Maria and Zoe wouldn’t fight with all they had to pull him back from the brink of the nightmare world he was trapped in.  

“Oh, I know how you feel,” Mrs. Adkins said. “You’re so good with him.  I know it’s hard, but you’re doing great.”

Zoe smiled at this.  “So are you.”  

They both shared a sad, but hopeful smile with each other before Zoe turned for the door.  

*!*!*!*!*

Mrs. Adkins watched the young woman leave.  

“Benny, my boy.  I know you think you hid that ring where I couldn’t find it.”  She delicately ran her thumb along the back of Ben’s hand.  “But you picked the perfect girl.  She’s amazing, and I truly hope I get to see the two of you married one day.”  

Mrs. Adkins settled in a bit more comfortably on the bed and returned to humming Brahms’ Lullaby.   She didn't let go of Ben’s hand.  

*!*!*!*!*

Ben sighed in his sleep. In his dreams, he drifted back in his memories to a time before Volkov and all the horror.  He ran his fingers along the glass countertops of the jewelry store.  

That one!  That was it.  He pointed down to a delicate band of white gold; Zoe didn’t like yellow or rose gold.  The band was simple, but the diamond set was ornate.  It was surrounded with multiple different types of green gemstones - emerald, peridot, tourmaline, green sapphire, and kiwi topaz.  It was perfect.  The multiple shades of green reflected the deep clear green of her eyes.  

Ben smiled broadly as he made his choice.  He was ready, or as ready as he’d ever be, to propose to his girl.  He glanced out the window to the bright sunny afternoon and whooshed out a nervous breath.  This was it.  He was really doing it.  He was buying an engagement ring.  

He’d known it was Zoe from the minutes he’d seen her.  Maybe not literally, but it felt like that.  They just fit together - they got each other.  As he was handed the ring in its little box, he couldn’t help but hum his favorite hymn. He walked out the door with “Ode to Joy” on his lips. 

Somewhere in the air above him as he headed for the park, he heard the notes of Brahms' Lullaby drifting through the air.  

Ben sighed contentedly in his sleep, his fingers flexing to grip his mother’s.  For once, his dreams were happy and the pain was forgotten, held at bay by the music he knew was just for him. 

#brother's keeper #benjamin adkins oc #ben adkins #maria adkins #zoe doyle oc #zoe doyle #aftermath of torture #aftermath of captivity #aftermath of noncon #aftermath of kidnapping #implied past noncon #psychiatric hospital #recovery #music therapy #kidnapping #captivity #catatonic #trauma #trauma recovery #whump #whump community #whump writer #whumpblr #Youtube

[oedipushansen]

Do you have any good YA recommendations that have actually dark themes or depict teenagers in a way that's even remotely realistic? I never read YA bc it always feels so fake but maybe I'm not looking in the right places

OKAY so. please hear me out bc im abt to recommend u a fanfiction series but i swear to god its very far removed from the source material so u can just like. read it on its own. it’s called twin skeletons (here’s the link), and i’m sure i’ve talked abt or at least mentioned it on my blog before but its just very very special to me !! it rlly feels like ur getting in the heads of these Awful teenagers and all of the subjects r dealt w/ in like. such a raw & unfiltered way in my opinion. it doesnt feel fake or preachy or like the reader is being talked down to or anything. the writing can be messy & imperfect bc its a fic from a couple years ago, but i still think its so so good and so worth it. the characters felt so real to me & it was dark & complicated & frustrating & it managed to stick w me years after reading it & i love it so much. i use it as a big inspiration for how i would want to write teenagers if i ever. like. actually got arnd to writing anything. maybe my own sentimental feelings r making me biased but god i just think its such an amazing coming of age story and the writer just Understands how teenagers think and act so well and u should absolutely read it if u want a realistic YA story

for actual published work, i have more trouble bc u r right! finding published YA that doesnt try to water things down can unfortunately be v difficult & most of these r just books i read in my school’s library or in the Teen Section of my local bookstore a long time ago & particularly stuck w/ me & some of them im not even like. That sure counts as YA i just know that im a Young Adult who read & enjoyed it & it was also abt Young Adults. maybe its cheating but i honestly dont think that whether or not its Officially Supposed to Be YA is that important, im assuming ur just trying 2 find good coming of age stories

these arent in any particular order im just listing off whatever i think

speak by laurie halse anderson

allegedly by tiffany d jackson

forgive me, leonard peacock by matthew quick

dare me by megan abbott

perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky

catcher in the rye by jd salinger (uve most likely already read this but it wouldn’t feel right to leave this classic out)

my heart & other black holes by jasmine warga (a little rushed at times but felt like a breath of fresh air after trying to read annoyingly pretentious trainwrecks like fault in our stars & all the bright places. does what those novels Tried to do but manages it well in my opinion)

these violent delights by micah nemerever (not considered YA lol but i asked the author personally & the characters r like. 16-17 for majority of it & its an incredible book that i want everyone to read anyway so! why not put it here)

my dark vanessa by kate elizabeth russell (definitely not supposed to be YA but a lot of it is from the perspective of a teenage girl & i can imagine it being in my school’s library & its very good & relatable so!! again why not put it here!!)

black iris by elliot wake (i think this is considered more new adult than YA but whatever)

fault line by christa desir

forbidden by tabitha suzuma

hell followed with us by andrew joseph white (not sure if u can call this realistic considering its fantasy but its dark & definitely YA & it has body horror & i liked it so it’s going in)

house of hollow by krystal sutherland (again, this is a fantasy, but i thought it was pretty good when i read it & its YA so it’s going in)

i’m somewhat delirious after taking a nap so im srry if this is like 97% of me just rambling or not making sense. i know our tastes r probably not the same so some of these (or just YA in general) may not be for u but i rlly hope u enjoy or appreciate any of these if u ever decide to read them <3

#if anyone else has any recs feel free to comment them :] #i havent gotten the chance to read the raven cycle or all for the game but based on how ive seen ppl on here talk abt it they seem good #asks