#like i may be over thinking every little detail but damn the batman got DETAILS

[non-licet-bovi]

Why (I personally believe that) the Riddler is white supremacist coded

I’ve seen some back and forth over whether or not the Riddler as a character can be interpreted as a white supremacist in The Batman (2022), so I figured I’d expand a bit on why I personally came away with that assessment in my viewing of the film. This is a bit of a character study ramble, because I feel like I need to touch on what I believe the core of Riddler’s persona is to really explain why I believe he’s a supremacist terrorist.

Obviously a lot of this is based on subtext and imagery as well as my own ruminations on the film’s themes, not direct quotes from any member of the cast or crew, so feel free to take this with a grain of salt. Regardless, I think the structure of the Riddler character is pretty overt, especially when paired with Reeves’ and Dano’s words about him.

I really enjoy this take on the Riddler because it is so different from what we’re used to in other Batman media, for the most part. I think Reeves & Dano tooled his character in a way to really benefit the structure of this story and to reflect on societal problems that are prevalent in our modern lives. This character is so effective, I feel, because he is a familiar figure of fear in our culture that we see so often: a passionate extremist with a hateful, selfish motive he twists into a dogmatic ideology that radicalizes others into violence online.

While Riddler has a sympathetic backstory and is absolutely an example of how the lack of social programs causes undue suffering, he’s purposefully an extremist. He employs fear to exact his personal form of justice and it makes him a textbook example of a terrorist. His spree of murders coupled with an entire media campaign would be enough to designate him as such, but his purposeful use of bombs and a small army of enthralled followers fashioned in his own image hammers the point home. 

Nashton uses the same tactics we’ve seen from white male terrorists for decades, from the Oklahoma City bombing to the Christchurch Mosque Massacre. Not only were those terrorists motivated by racism and supremacist ideology, they were also stridently anti-establishment just like Nashton. It was hard for me to view the attempted assassination of a Black female political leader by a crew of masked white men in military surplus gear and not draw connections to real world terrorist attacks.

The only other people we know he associates with are his followers, who are apart of a small, radicalize group that watch his social media videos. That structure is so important, I think. Like, yes, the Riddler drew a ton of inspiration from Heath’s depiction of the Joker in the Dark Knight, but there are a lot more connotations to a guy yelling his criminal aspirations into a camera in 2022 than there were in 2008. These days, it's impossible not to watch those scenes and think of the myriad of extremists who used their streaming platforms, social media and/or youtube accounts to publish their hate-filled rants to a forum of sycophantic bigots. The Riddler’s scenes pretty overtly harken to extremists that have been ubiquitous in American news, including incels and alt-right zealots. His final video seems to me to be a direct allegory to the manifestos of killers posted on 4chan. I don’t think a film so purposeful in its aesthetic, themes and character building would have presented those scenes in such a way without recognizing what they would suggest to the viewer. 

Let’s not forget either that the character is heavily inspired by the Zodiac Killer, a killer that famously used a cross through a circle – a symbol long appropriated by white nationalists in America as far back as the KKK (once again, a white male extremist in a hooded disguise is always going to have certain connotations in an American film) – as his signature. It may not be the killer’s only motivation for picking the symbol, we probably won’t ever know for sure, but it’s still a connection that’s difficult to ignore. While the Zodiac, like most other serial killers, stuck to his own racial group for his choice of victims (there’s a lot of reasons for this, usually, but I’m not gonna go off on a tangent lmao), he also uses the n-word in one of his letters and mentions how he’s turning his victims into “slaves in the afterlife” several times.

All that, along with the context of his time period in 1960’s San Francisco, makes Zodiac an influence you cannot completely remove from racism. Zodiac may not be as strident an example of a racist criminal as, say, Charles Manson, but I don’t think these details were lost on the crew of The Batman. In fact, I think the theme continues through their use of the neck bomb in DA Colson’s murder.

Nashton’s use of the neck bomb device is directly lifted from a crime that occured in 2003, where a Pennsylvania man -- Brian Wells -- was allegedly a co-conspirator in the bank robbery he committed and was double-crossed by the perpetrators when he realized the bomb wasn’t fake like he’d been lead to believe (that retelling is my take away from the event, fyi, as it is debated whether or not Wells was a duped conspirator or an innocent and unwilling participant). Just like with Colson, the bomb couldn’t be removed from Wells’ neck without activating a fail safe that would cut off his head. Also like Colson, Wells was given detailed instructions on how to get the code to unlock the collar, but authorities failed to remove the bomb before it detonated. 

Why is this relevant to my point? While I think The Batman uses this device mostly because it is a shocking, fascinating murder weapon, there’s a detail about the crime that sticks out to me: Wells originally blamed the collar and the bank plot on Black men, to intentionally divert suspicion from the real conspirators he knew were all white. The alleged mastermind of the crime, Marjorie Diehl-Armstrong, also suggested blaming Black people in pre-crime meetings (which Wells may or may not have attended, it isn’t confirmed). The purposeful racist choices of murderers that help make up the inspiration for Nashton’s character absolutely color my interpretation of any underlying biases he may or may not have. Obviously this interpretation isn’t confirmed by any sense of the word, but I think it is reasonable to believe that the Riddler’s persona being inspired by real world racists encourages the audience to assume he may very well be one as well.

Racism isn’t the only tenant of white supremacy, though, and there’s more to the Riddler’s ideology and actions that seem to align with that form of extremist thought. I think his personal conflict as well as his indiscriminate victims both add to why there’s cause to label him a supremacist.

A huge point, I feel, is how Riddler views and depicts Martha Wayne. His expose on the Waynes isn’t just a condemnation of Thomas, but of Martha as well. His loathing of her carries into his snide tone and word choice. Even the retelling of her parents' murder-suicide disregards her trauma. Martha was mentally ill and struggled with her condition, which Riddler assumably believes to be deplorable. The reporter who intends to publish her medical history is called "crusading", like his purpose in exposing her as a mental patient is valiant. Nashton recounts her experience like it is a salacious, dirty thing that is unsuitable for society, just as much a horrific secret as Thomas getting a the reporter killed. He doesn’t outright state that she is lesser for being mentally ill, but his rhetoric and weaponization of her circumstances alludes to ableist eugenics-based ideology that is absolutely championed by white supremacists.

Similarly, Riddler has no regard for Annika’s personhood nor safety when publishing her image. She’s completely unimportant beyond the fact that she is a confirmation of Mayor Mitchell’s poor moral choices and duplicity. She’s just another clue at the connection between Mitchell and Falcone, not a downtrodden person who deserves justice as much as Nashton does. The man is a forensic accountant, a job that is detail-oriented and meticulous, and it reflects in the specificity and planning of his crimes. It certainly must have occurred to Nashton what might happen to the beaten sex worker he exposed, he just didn’t care. Her murder is unremarkable to him.

Riddler is unconcerned with other people in general, since he’s willing to kill hundreds of innocents well after he’s exposed the truth about the Renewal Fund and knocked off all but one of his primary targets. The flood and the attempted massacre show his true purpose is shock, awe and total fear. Gotham’s corruption was just a fine excuse to create something powerful out of himself, so he’d never be ignored or forgotten again.

Sure, he sees and loathes the stark inequality of Gotham’s system. He rages against it. But, in all honesty, I believe it is only because he happened to be one of the people who didn’t get to benefit from that unfair status quo in the way he wanted. He’s not an advocate for the marginalized – in fact he actively harms them – just resentfully fixated on the circumstances he suffered from and obsessed with comparing that experience to the object of his disdain: Bruce Wayne. He delved into the corruption of the city not necessarily because he was investigating the reasons why his orphanage was left to rot, but because he had a chance meeting with the Waynes. He saw a little kid that was essentially just like him – white, male, able-bodied – but when Bruce is orphaned, suddenly only the reasons they’re not alike affect their difference in treatment. Bruce is rich and prestigious, Nashton is not. Those qualities give Bruce power Nashton does not possess, so they are the qualities Nashton demonizes. 

If there was no Bruce, Nashton would have still been a neglected orphan, but he likely wouldn’t have had the personal vindictive drive to discover the Renewal Fund’s secrets. Every target of his may be a loathsome, corrupt power figure, but they are all connected to his hatred for Bruce. They're all pinned to his wall, but Bruce dominates the entire center. His mission is personal, based in his private hates and inadequacies, not a bourgeoise uprising. If he cared about anything resembling leftist ideals, he certainly wouldn’t have chosen to bomb the sea walls, as the ones who suffer the worst from such disasters are always the poor and disadvantaged. If he cared about the structural failures behind his suffering, he maybe would do more than turn the old Wayne Orphanage into a private theater occupied by drug-addled, destitute orphans. He doesn't care about orphans, he cares that he is one.

To him, justice isn’t forcing Gotham to change. Justice is forcing Gotham to acknowledge his individual pain to his satisfaction, which means everyone else should feel the pain and fear he’s shouldered since childhood. It doesn’t matter how many die, so long as he is vindicated and legitimized. It’s peak terrorism. 

His selfishness, I think, is a key pillar of who he is and why he makes the choices he makes. Dano, in an interview, talks about how Riddler was fixated on questioning “Why Me?” as he lamented his lot in life. He’s a tortured individual focused on his own misfortune, who ends up blaming Gotham’s powerful for his individual situation. He’s a loner, like Bruce and unlike Selina. He doesn’t have a community he’s concerned about uplifting, he wants retribution for himself. Nashton’s only motivations are getting the revenge he feels he deserves, finding his individual power through instilling fear, being “remembered” in a way he never was as a child, and earning the attention/approval from the figure he most admires (Batman).

“Why me?” becomes “Now they will spend their last moments wondering, ‘why them?’”

I see that selfishness in the manifestos of recent terrorists and in the hateful ideology that demands the white man always be given exactly what he proclaims he deserves, everyone else be damned. For me, the way the film frames Riddler’s disregard for others can be read as bigotry. Riddler’s idealization of Batman as a figure he assumes to be just as detached from reality as he read as a particularly white male power fantasy he constructed for himself (this is a subversion of the Batman power fantasy trope that I enjoyed, tbh. The Batman depicts making a fearsome, vengeful god out of Batman is a bad thing). His personality and actions seemed to hint at white nationalist extremism without needing to lampshade it. I love the script for getting so much more across than just what was said overtly. 

As a last tangent, I really like the set up in the film of forcing Batman to reckon with himself through the lenses of other characters. Riddler is one of the mirrors held up to reflect Batman back at Bruce, the other being Selina. They both recognize aspects of themselves in Batman and actively seek to engage with those aspects. They’re both inspired by Batman and his power because they’ve been forced to be powerless their whole lives. They both commit crime. They both have murderous intent. However, the things that make them different are why Nashton is repugnant to Bruce and Selina is alluring. 

Nashton is a direct contrast to Selina in key ways: he isolates himself and only interacts with others online while she is dedicated to her friend and willing to upend her entire life for her safety, he relishes in the anonymity of his mask and disregards who Batman is without the cowl while she constantly sheds her disguise and ponders just who Bruce might be, his family is never mentioned and never matter while her parents are hugely impactful to her characterization and actions, he gleefully uses murder to exact his revenge while she realizes she doesn’t need to kill to reckon with her personal trauma, his vengeance is destroying Gotham while her vengeance is being able to survive in spite of Gotham. 

Selina’s story arc shows just how much Nashton perverts his suffering into a self-righteous excuse to do harm, which in turn allows Bruce to realize how he was unwittingly doing the same. The Batman critiques some of the most frustrating representations of Batman -- as an infallible super soldier, who is so resolute and powerful that he can function as an unstoppable, unquestionable force of his own violent will, beholden to no one -- by giving the Riddler the ultimate revenge fantasy and showing it's inherently destructive.

By the by, I don’t think it’s inconsequential that these two contrasting characters so important to Batman’s development are played by a white man and a biracial Black woman. Media still struggles to circumvent our cultural norms of assuming that every sad, traumatized white guy deserves the best possible interpretation of his choices, no matter how horrific they may be, and that every sad, traumatized Black woman must be unyieldingly strong yet ethically pristine in her actions to be worth empathizing with. Does The Batman have a perfect depiction of its characters and perfect awareness of how race factors into those depictions? Not necessarily, no, but the effort is there.

Ultimately, Riddler is a modern American terrorist archetype. The modern American terrorist is, in his most concise and expected form, a white supremacist.

(Quick sidebar: I doubt it's lost on y'all how differently a 2022 "realistic, gritty" Batman film depicts a terrorist villain compared to, say, a 2012 "realistic, gritty" Batman film did. I do love the Nolan trilogy to pieces, but the change of Bane's entire character into a vaguely Middle Eastern former member of the League of Shadows -- all the while still white-washing the entire League, Jesus Christ -- was a very pointed choice. A decade ago, American prejudice equated terrorism with the Middle East and it isn't surprising that the perception reflected in our media, where we had Talia Al Ghul trying to literally nuke Gotham off the map. Media always takes public anxiety and uses it for horror, as it assumes the audience will already feel intimidated by your villain/monster. Ten years after The Dark Knight Rises, the fear of homegrown American terrorism is much more predominant than it used to be -- even though white extremist violence was always more common place than anti-Muslim bigotry might have some believe -- and we're getting references to that fear in our current Batman antagonist.)

I think that archetype came across very strong in the film’s presentation and it makes him an all the more effective villain, especially for a grounded, realistic Batman film. We recognize the Riddler in the people and movements that scare us in daily life. He’s not an unbelievable, otherworldly monster. He’s sympathetic to a point and his descent into terror mistaken as justice is uncomfortably familiar. To me, it makes him a lot more compelling in a media landscape where we’re used to comic book films featuring superpowered aliens with designs to destroy entire planets rather than reckon with structural inequality and corruption.

Anyway, I hope this overlong drivel helps illuminate why I – and maybe others – consider Riddler to be an unspoken white supremacist character. Even if one might disagree, I think I laid out my thought process where one might at least allow that the interpretation is reasonable enough.

#meta #The Batman #Batman #The Riddler #Edward Nashton #Selina Kyle #Bruce Wayne #white supremacy #racism #terrorism #character analysis #discussion of real life crime #it is so weird experiencing online fandom when you talk with all ur friends irl about batman all the time #i fr thought EVERYONE thought the riddler was a 4chan racist lmao #like i may be over thinking every little detail but damn the batman got DETAILS #i get one run away thought and suddenly ive written a 3k word essay jfc #this riddler scary its a damn good performance claps for mr dano

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Okay so it's not fair if you get to perfectly capture Bale's Batman as well as every other character you write for 😅 you're too damn talented!

So, without further ado I'm going to become that person:

Dannnnyyyyyyyy gimme more Bruce Wayne

Sequel to The Other Half | Masterlist

Warnings: I'm in love with him. There, that's the warning.

When you go to bed that night, you drop off fairly quickly. You’re $500 richer, and replying the easy smiles and laughs and conversation that you’d shared with him. He’d been far nicer, and far more down to earth than you could’ve ever imagined.

The next day, your manager is a little…Grumbley. She’s sort of irritated that you spent so much time with Wayne, though she doesn’t say as much. You can tell by the way she mumbles to herself, straightens a display, glances at you, and then goes back to mumbling and straightening displays again. The day passes without incident (though a few of your coworkers come up to ask what he was like. You tell them the truth: Incredibly dreamy up close, and nicer than you expected.) As you clock out for the day and wave goodnight to the security guard, you hear someone say your name. 

You turn, and catch sight of a well-dressed older gentleman that looks familiar. You think it may be the man that Bruce showed you a picture of at the diner yesterday, but you’re not entirely sure. 

“...Yes?” You ask, taking a couple of steps closer to him, “Can I help you?” 

“Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Alfred Pennyworth. I'm Mr. Wayne's butler.” 

Your brows raise a touch. “Oh! Was there something wrong with what he purchased yesterday?” 

“Not that I’m aware of. He asked me to give you this.” Alfred holds an envelope out to you. You take it carefully, unable to help the way your confusion slows you. You eye your name written on the front, then turn the envelope over in your hands. You open it, drawing out an invitation for that evening. Your eyes skim the details—the time, the place. You recognize the name of the place—Chef du Roi. It’s an upscale restaurant in one of the highest skyscrapers in Gotham. You scoff out a stunned little laugh. 

“If you do plan on accepting Mr. Wayne’s invitation,” Alfred tacked on, “I will be happy to drive you to your apartment, and then to the venue.” 

“Uh…” You hesitate, glancing between the invitation and Alfred a couple of times. “That is…Really kind of you, Mr. Pennyworth, but I don’t wanna waste your time.”

“No time would be wasted,” He reassures with a smile. “And Mr. Wayne has told me that I will owe you quite the thank you, come Christmas morning.” 

You chuckle, shaking your head in slight surprise. You'd be a fool to say no. Besides, you enjoyed your time in Mr. Wayne's company yesterday. Why not see if you enjoy it today.

“Uh…Okay. Yeah.” 

“The car is waiting outside,” Alfred gestures. You nod a little, muttering your thanks as he holds the door open for you. 

--  

You’re panicking all the way back to your apartment. You insist that Alfred come up and have a cup of something warm while you’re getting dressed. Your roommate, Michelle, makes a pot of tea while you frantically search your closet for something suitable for dinner at a rooftop restaurant with a billionaire. 

You shower as quickly as you can, do your hair and makeup faster than you ever have in your life. You call Michelle in to zip your dress up, fanning under your arms to stop from sweating with panic. 

“You better use extra perfume,” Michelle warns, “You’re gonna sweat right through this thing—Hang on, I have a shawl that’s gonna cover your upper arms. Maybe by the time you get the entrees, you’ll have stopped up a little bit.” 

“Ugh, thank you,” You mutter, fanning at your heating face, “Oh my god, I’m gonna sweat off my makeup.” 

“Calm down!”

“You calm down!” 

--  

“I see you got my invitation.” 

“I did,” You nod. Bruce gives Alfred a nod over your shoulder, and you turn to look at him as well. Alfred smiles warmly, offering you a quick wink before turning away. You smile, turning to face Bruce again. 

“C’mon,” He nods you closer, resting his hand on your lower back as you fall into step with him. You expect the restaurant to be bustling, but you find it…Completely silent and completely empty. 

“Oh, wow,” You mumble. “Maybe this place isn’t as hard to get into as I thought.” 

Bruce laughs, pulling your chair out for you. 

“Thank you,” You mutter, glancing up at him. 

“Of course.” He rounds to his side of the table, sitting down. “Do you prefer red, white, or rosé?” 

“Rosé.” 

“I can work with that.” 

You smile, looking down at the menu. You skim the names of the dishes, fighting the urge to look at the prices. 

“Um…I hope this isn’t rude, but, uh…” You look at Bruce from beneath your lashes. “What am I doing here?”

“Well it looks like you’re looking at a menu, but looks can be deceiving.” 

You tip your head to the side, arching your brows. Bruce’s smile widens before he tacks on, “We ate at a diner yesterday, instead of some five-star something something. So, now you can see how the other half eats.” 

You huff a laugh, shaking your head.

“Incredibly generous of you, Mr. Wayne. But you could’ve sent me take out from somewhere upscale.” 

“Maybe I wanted to see you again.” 

“Just maybe? Renting out an entire restaurant seems like a lot for a maybe.”

“Alright,” Bruce’s smile softens as he leans in a little. “I really wanted to see you again.” 

“Because I don’t treat you like you’re Bruce Wayne?” 

“Because I want to get to know you better…And because you don’t treat me like I’m Bruce Wayne.” 

You laugh softly, leaning back in your seat a little. You can’t take the way he’s leaning in; his look is too warm, too sweet. Even though he spent most of the day yesterday showing you that he’s not some simple-minded billionaire, not the man that you've seen in the papers or on tv, it still feels so foreign and surprising. It shouldn’t—you don’t really know the man sitting across from you. You’ve spent a total of two and a half hours with him. 

“So,” You look over the menu, “Have you got any recommendations for this five-star something something?” 

“Not a one. I’ve never been here before.” 

Your brows shoot up. 

“You rented out a restaurant that you’ve never been to before?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“What if we hate it?” 

“Then Alfred will drive us to the nearest fast food place and we’ll get a cheeseburger.” 

“You wouldn’t do that.” 

Bruce reaches out, resting a hand on your menu and tipping it down to get your attention.

“Watch me.”

You bite your lip to tamp your smile down, but you can’t help your grin. 

“Bullshit.” 

--

“I can’t believe you.” 

“Sure you can—Are there fries in there? I thought I got fries,” Bruce frowns, tipping the greasy paper bag toward himself. You giggle, watching him rifle through it before he lets out out a triumphant grunt. You watch as he draws out a handful, cramming them into his mouth. 

“Slow down! If you keep this up,  you’re gonna choke.” 

Bruce waves you off, taking up his milkshake to wash the fries down. You lean back against the park bench, glancing back over Gotham Harbor. The sun is just beginning to set, casting a golden glow across the water. 

“Still can’t believe you rented that place out and then took me to BK’s.” “Now you know not to challenge me.” 

“I learned the tasty way.”

“‘Sides, the staff at du Roi got paid, and got the night off this way. It’s a win-win,” He offers. Your gaze flickers to his lips as he raises his thumb, sucking away a few grains of salt. Your face goes warm at the sight, and you hurriedly avert your gaze again. 

“Bless Alfred for braving the drive-thru,” You add. 

“He’s gone through far worse for me.” 

“Oh?” “Mm.”

You wait for Bruce to go on. Instead, he fishes into the paperbag for another handful of fries. 

“Can I ask you something?” He asks once he’s swallowed. 

“Sure.” 

“You said your family moved because Metropolis was more affordable?” “Mhm.” 

“Do you think they would’ve stayed if they could’ve afforded to?” 

You consider for a moment. The question turns your stomach. It’s one that you’ve been grappling with yourself. 

“Mm…” You look down at the burger in your hands, picking at a stray piece of lettuce.

“I don’t know,” You finally admit, shaking your head a little. “Maybe? It kinda reached a point where they were between moving to Metropolis and moving to the Narrows. I mean, the crime’s been off the charts—and even with the Batman doing everything he does, you know, my mom’s been…Panic-y. She didn’t feel safe here. Not that Metropolis has been a bed of roses, you know, I mean, they’ve got—that Mannheim situation over there, same way we had Falcone. It was kind of just a…Lesser of two evils.” 

Glancing over at Bruce again, you find him staring speculatively at his burger. You bite your lip, fighting the urge to ask about his family—about what he remembers of his parents, but—

“Has Alfred gotten any hints about what he’s getting for Christmas this year?” You ask. 

“Not a one,” Bruce answers without missing a beat. His gaze flickers to you again, a small smile curling his lips. 

“Good,” You chuckle. “I’m glad I didn’t ruin any surprises when he turned up at the store.” 

“Oh no? Didn’t ask how the gloves fit?” 

“I’m not gonna lie, I was this close.” 

“No—”

“You showed me his picture yesterday, I recognized him! And as soon as he said it name was Alfred, it just clicked. But—I just asked if there was anything wrong with what you’d bought yesterday. Didn’t even say that it was for him.” 

“Very subtle.” 

“Thank you.” 

You reach into the bag, drawing out a few fries, and grinning and giggling as Bruce reaches out. He bats at your wrist, grumbling, “You’ve had yours already!” 

“C’mon, you’re a billionaire. You can spare a couple fries.” 

“Mm, I suppose.” 

“You big baby.” 

-- 

The ride back to your apartment feels sort of embarrassing. You don’t exactly live in the nicest neighborhood—you can’t imagine someone like Bruce Wayne has been anywhere near it. 

Alfred opens the car door for you, smiling and nodding as you get out. 

“Thank you, Mr. Pennyworth.” 

“Please, call me Alfred.” 

“Well, Alfred. Thank you.” 

“It’s been an honor, miss. And thank you again for the tea.” 

“Any time.” 

You round the car, smiling and taking hold of Bruce’s proffered hand. 

“I’ll be a moment,” Bruce tells Alfred. Then he turns, letting you lead the way to your front door. 

“I had a nice time,” You offer softly. 

“Oh?” 

“Mhm. I still can’t believe you rented out Chef du Roi and then took me to fucking Burger King.” 

“I’m just glad you could have it your way.” 

You splutter a laugh, turning away from Bruce and shaking your head. “Unbelievable.”

“...Could I see you again?” 

The question is a surprising one, and it makes you turn to look at Bruce again. He’s watching you patiently; the way he sweeps his thumb tenderly across the back of your hand tells you that he doesn’t know what you’re going to say. You’re not entirely sure yourself. You think for a moment before offering:

“I’ve never been to Taco Bell.” 

Bruce’s lips split into a wide, beautiful smile. 

“I think we can work with that,” He chuckles.

“Oh yeah?” 

“I’ll reserve a table and everything.” 

“I don’t think you can reserve a table there.” 

“How would you know? You’ve never been.” 

“And you have?” 

“You’d be surprised by where I’ve eaten.” 

“You’ve already surprised me twice in a row. I think to really shock me, you’d have to take me dumpster diving—”

“We could do that, you know.” 

“Oh, the Gazette would have a field day—Prince of Gotham Dumpster Diving—and Hanging Out at Local Landfill.” 

“Ouch,” Bruce laughs, lowering his arms to curl around your waist. The move catapults your heart into your throat. “C’mon, you’re better than that.” 

“You just say that ‘cause you’ve seen me all dressed up.” 

“I’ve seen you at work, too.” 

“I’m much more presentable at work than I am in my downtime.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Mhm.”

“I’d like to see that,” Bruce insists, raising his hand to cup your cheek.

“Well, I’m sure we could arrange—” 

Before you can finish teasing him, Bruce is leaning in, pressing his lips warmly to yours. It’s far more gentle than you expect—but then again, nothing that Bruce has done has been what you expect. You let your eyes slip closed, leaning into him. Your lips pull with a small smile as Bruce pulls you just a little bit closer, his hand curling around to rest on your nape. You raise your hands, gently curling in the fabric of his coat lapels. You think he’ll draw away, but Bruce catches you off-guard again, instead gently nipping your lip, then sucking it between his lips. You tenderly nudge your nose against as the kiss cools. Bruce rests his forehead gently against yours. 

You swipe your tongue across your lips, smiling as you feel Bruce’s fingers flex in your coat. 

“So,” He murmurs, “Taco Bell? Tomorrow?” 

You giggle, nodding. 

“It’s a date, Mr Wayne.” 

Part Three

#Bruce Wayne x Reader #Bruce Wayne x You #Bruce Wayne/Reader #Bruce Wayne/You #Bruce Wayne fic #Bruce Wayne imagine #Batman x Reader #Batman x You #The Other Half

[miraculous-trinity-leo]

Whacky Gotham, Goofy New York, and Chaotic Paris.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

Chapter 5: Then Let The Games Begin

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Soooo, the Batfam is panicking, Gotham's confused as to why Iron Man is flying over Gotham like a madman, and Maria is with two of Gotham's Sirens (but only Ivy and Harley know this) having a wonderful time playing with Bud and Lou.

Let's start with the Sirens.

Harley is watching over Maria and Tikki as they sleep with Bud and Lou, Ivy walkes over to sit next to Harley, handing her a cup of tea.

"So, what's the diagnosis?" - Ivy

"She has some sort of trauma, has class issues... and handles more than she should, but still does everythin', on top of bein' a hero. She's been through some sh-t Pam." Yeah Harley may have found out Maria's a hero (if the tiny god and magic were anything to go by).

"Is she alone?" - Ivy

"No, thankfully, she has supportive parents, and friends that aren't little sh-ts. I think they're also heroes, she also has a lot, and I a mean A LOT of pent up emotions, she doesn't show anythin' negative, only positive things. She seems to shrink in on herself if she thinks she does somethin' wrong. Pam, we both know there's a limit to how much crap a person can take before they snap, and she's such a sweet kid. There has to be somethin' we can do to help her Ives." Ok she found out alot, but in Marias' defense, they have trustworthy souls, and they were the only other people (besides her friends) that she talked to about it, yes she had her Maman and Uncle to talk about hero stuff, but for the stuff her class does, she only ever vented (without being negative) to her friends.

"Her class is visiting the Botanical Gardens in three days, and it's a 2 part tour, so we can see just what's going on. If it's bad then we scare them a bit, if it's bad bad... they can handle a few slightly poisonous plants right?" - Ivy

"God I love the way ya think Ives, do ya think she can stay with us? I mean look at how cute she is with Bud and Lou... Oh my god, she's cuddlin' dem, and ya gave her a flower crown, how'd I miss that?! Where's the camera?"

Harley took a picture to remind her of this wonderful moment. As Ivy and Harley looked at the picture, they both promised to keep Maria safe, and maybe become sorta kinda-ish parents to her while she's in Gotham.

•—–·Now back to the Bat-Chaos Bat-Cave·–—•

Tim took over the chair and was now searching the possible locations with Jarvis, Damian was sitting on a different chair, trying to act cool, but he wouldn't stop looking over at Tim, to see his progress. Bruce was talking over the comms with Tony. Dick and Jason, weren't helping (they kept feeding each other worse and worse ideas of what could have happened to Maria). Then they heard Jarvis speak.

"I have found the most likely area Ms. Dupain-Cheng would be in. Her phone died about 56 blocks away from her hotel, if we don't count kidnapping, or murder, she would have thought about asking for directions, but may have decided not to considering the city she is in. So that leaves us with a possible 15-25 mile radius from her last known location. I think it best to divide into groups of two, have Oracle stay and update you if anything on security, and or traffic cameras happens. Bruce will be with Tony, Dick will go with Tim, and Jason will go with Damain to search within the area. Stephanie and Cassandra will search around a 5 mile radius near Wayne hotel." as Jarvis continued to explain the other details, the Batfam began to suit up, Batman met up with Iron Man, and they took the North area, Nightwing and Red Robin took the East area, while Red Hood and Robin searched the South. Steph and Cass were on foot in civilian clothes, searching the West area they were assigned.

They searched for the whole day, and came up with nothing. Until Oracle saw a video from a traffic cam around 9pm, 15 blocks away from where her phone died. She called it in and everyone went back to the cave. Once everyone was at the Bat-Computer, Oracle pressed play, the cameras didn't have sound, and it wasn't close enough to see if she was ok.

They watched as she went to an overgrown parking lot and sat down. She was looking down at the ground, and that's when they spotted two figures round the corner and spot her. They watched as the two figures approach Maria, and saw the startled reaction she had. They realized it was Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy that were talking to her, then they saw Maria collapse. They watched as Harley made sure she was ok, looking over to Ivy before looking back to Maria and picking her up. The last thing they saw, was Maria being carried away by two of Gothams' most dangerous rouges, but now they knew where to look next.

•—–· Back to Ivy and Harley ·–—•

Harley continued to take adorable pictures of the children.

"God, they're so f-ckin' cute!" - Harley for the 20th time

As Ivy continued to watch while caring for her plants, Catwoman walked in.

"Hey girls, got the stuff for movie night, so what are we- Holy mother of cats! He adopted another f-cking child didn't he! Where the hell does he keep finding them?! 7 was ment to be the god DAMN LIMIT!!!" - Catwoman

Maria jumped at the sudden shouting and may have accidentally summoned a yo-yo (one made useing creation magic and protection magic) before saying.

"Tikki where's the akuma?! How long was I out?! Forget it Tikki spot-" she then realized she wasn't in Paris, and seeing a new face, she also realized she just spilled her secret to another person within the same day... kinda

"Fffffffffffudge sunday that fell on the pavement!" - Maria shouted in baker profanities

"That's not how ya curse sweetheart. It should go more like-" Harley was cut off by a vine Ivy had summoned.

"Harley, cursing makes the plants sad, you know this." - Ivy said removing the vine

Harley just walked over to Maria and whipsered it in her ear.

"You're supposed to say it more like this, ' ..... .... ... .. ....... .. ... .....' ok?" - Harley ended with a big smile

"... I will never see this world in the same frickin' light ever again." - Maria

"ehh close enough." - Harley

"Can someone please tell me, WTH is going on here, on our special girls day off?!" - Catwoman

"She is a new member of the Sirens as of today, and as a member, she's unda our protection, so effective immediately." - Harley

"Cool." - Maria

"Harley." - Ivy

"Wut... first things first, if she is going to join, she needs to be very flexible, know how to fight, and be incredibly intelligent." - Catwoman

"She beat Ed's @ss with a gun pointed at her, and solved every riddle with ease, so I'm positive she'll be an amazin' addition to the team." - Harley

'God she sounds like a new mother now' "But we don't know how good her flexibility is." - Catwoman

"I know, hey Maria, ya wanna do some tricks with me, of course we need to stretch first, but do ya wanna give it a go?" - Harley

"Sure." - Maria

Ivy and Catwoman sat down on a couch a few feet away from where Maria and Harley stood in the empty part of the building. They started out with stretches, and to Catwoman's surprise (and Harley's delight) Maria copied Harleys streches perfectly.

"Ok, now that that's done, we'll start with some cartwheels, then move on to flips, then handsprings and so on." - Harley

Maria gave Harley a nod... and they were off... literally, Harley did a cartwheel into a handspring, and a few backflips, Maria executed it flawlessly. Harley did some more complicated gymnastics tricks, and Maria did it, Harley did triple backflips going into a cartwheel, into a summersault, and Maria did that perfectly as well. This went on until both Harley and Maria were slightly out of breath, both having massive smiles on their faces.

"Ives, please let her join, she's like a mini me." - Harley then hugged Maria and they somehow both tripled in cuteness as they both did puppy (or Puss In Boots style) eyes at Catwoman and Ivy.

"Sure Harley." - Ivy said walking over to give Harley a small kiss on the cheek.

"Okay... but she doesn't have a costume yet, and she still has to think of a name for herself." - Catwoman

"Is a mouse good, like a mouse themed costume, that or a Turtle themed one. What do you think Harley?" - Maria

"Mmmm, I like that with the mouse you can always toy with Cat, ya know, cat an' mouse stuff, turtle seems... weird even fawh Gotham, so personally I would pick mouse, just because of the cheesy jokes you could do." - Harley

"Very funny, ok then, give me a moment."  Maria then reached out her hand, her eyes then started to glow an icy blue, and a small portal opened in front of her, she reached in and pulled out a small pendant necklace. After she put it on a small mouce appeared and greated itself, Marias' eyes going back to normal after closing the portal.

"Hello I'm Mullo, nice to meet you all."

"Omg omg omg, It's soooo f-ckin' CUTE!" - Harley

"Best to assume all of them are extremely cute Harls." - Ivy

"What the Hell did I miss in the week I was gone?!" - Catwoman

"Ehh, not much, oh but Iron Man did fly aroun' Gotham a few times earlier this mornin' like a madman." - Harley

"Oh sh-t." - Maria

"Maria are ya ok? That was ya first official proper curse in my presence." Harley said looking over to the girl.

"He's gonna kill me." - Maria

"Wait, what do you mean Marigold?" - Ivy

"... He's my Uncle, and I never got to text him I was ok, since my phone died before I met you." - Maria

"Hey, I'm sure he'll understand, now what are we watchin'?" - Harley

"I think we have more important matters other than movies at the moment!" - Catwoman

"Ok, Me Myself and Irene it is." - Harley

"No! You basically kidnapped Iron Mans' NIECE!!!" - Catwoman

"Technically, she fainted and us bein' the good Gothamites we are, decided to take her with us, to make sure she was a-okay." - Harley

"I'm ganna need more than just a six pack of soda to get me through this... Just put the movie on already." - Catwoman

Catwoman sat at the far left end of the couch, next to her sat Ivy, then Maria, and then Harley, Bud and Lou by their feet. All of them sharing one big blanket (Becuase if Iron Man did show up, or any of the birds, then Maria was in a protective burrito and they may not see her right away) and they started the movie.

•—–·–—•

"Oh god, the poor cow." - Maria

.........

"Hahahaha, he stuck a whole f-ckin' chicken head in that guys @ss" - Harley

"The poor chicken." - Maria

"Maria you don't want to see this part." - Ivy then lightly covered her eyes for the ehem, chicken extraction.

.........

"Anyone up for another movie?" - Harley

"That depends." - Ivy

"Any suggestions Cat?" - Harley looked across to the other end of the couch to see Catwoman already sleeping.

"She took her cat-nap already? Seriously?" - Harley

"... What about Pirates of The Caribbean?" - Maria

"I'm good with that." - Ivy

And they started the next movie, Maria was happy, it felt like when her maman and papa would sleep with her when she made a pillow fort. It was a loving atmosphere, it felt safe, and nothing could ruin it. Marias' eyes became heavy, and she leaned her head on Harleys' shoulder, falling asleep after a few minutes.

Ivy paused the move looking over to see both Harley and Maria sleeping, soon Ivy also fell asleep in the comfortable silence.

…………………………

Around an hour later Maria woke up in a panic, she had a nightmare, and kept looking around frantically for someone with tears running down her face.

"What's the matter hun?" - Harley said looking around to see if someone had gotten in. When she looked back at Maria she saw that she was crying.

"What happened?" Harley asked in a kind voice that was filled with motherly love.

"I, just *hic* had a bad dream that's *hic* all, I'm fine." - Maira said trying to wipe the tears away.

"You're ok, I promise nothin's goin' to happen to ya as long as Ivy and I are here, ok hun?" - Harley hugged Maria, and she could feel the girl let out a few more sobs, and quick breathes.

"Thanks Maman." Maria didn't even realize what she had said, it just felt natural for her to say it.

"You're welcome hun." 'Omg I'm gonna cry, she called me maman!' Harley rubbed small circles over Marias' back, and began humming until she fell asleep, she continued to hug Maria until she also fell asleep.

•—–· Back to the Chaos Bat-Cave ·–—•

"What do you mean she's with two of Gotham City's Sirens?!" - Tony

"Tony, calm down, I'll call Selina, she can talk to them and get this all sorted out." - Bruce

"Your fiancee is a Gotham Siren too?! Why didn't you tell me?!" - Tony

"Why isn't she picking up? And unlike some people, this family doesn't like outing our secret identities... on live TV." - Bruce

"Oh well excuse me for not keeping my secret identity a SECRET!" - Tony

"I'll try calling her one more time." - Bruce

"Bruce, it's 3am. Who in their right mind ever stays up this late.... aside from this family." - Tim with a giant coffee mug in hand.

"... I'll just call her one more time." Bruce then connected it to the Bat-Computer so everyone could hear.

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Catwoman's phone is ringing like crazy, waking everyone up, including a tired, annoyed, and confused Selina.

"Wth does he want at 3 in the morning?!" - Selina

"Just answer it so we can keep sleepin'." - Harley still hugging Maria

"I'm putting it on speaker, so you lot can testify against his @ss in court, for disturbing the peace."

•—–· Over to Batsy ·–—•

"Selina I need to ask-"

"WHAT THE F-CKING HELL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT A GOOD NIGHTS REST!" - Selina

"Oooooh, she sounds pissed Bruce." - Jason

"I'm sorry to call you at this hour, but we need to find a girl that looks just like every single one of my other kids." - Bruce

"Bruce... I thought we agreed that 7 kids was. the. f-cking. limit." - Selina

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Selina looked over to Maria before muting the speaker.

"Do you want them to know you're here Kitten?" - Selina

"... I'm tired, I haven't had coffee, I have no filter, so f-ck it, act like you never saw me today, and let them drown in chaos. " - Maria

"I think I like filter less Maria." - Harley

"Okay." Selina shrugged her shoulders and then un-muted her phone, putting it back on speaker mode.

"Where was she last seen?" - Selina

"She was last seen with Harley and Poison Ivy, I want you to see if she's still with them." - Bruce

Selina looked over to Maria and Harley, both of them shook their heads with mischievous grins.

"I've been with them all day, and I haven't once seen a girl that looks like your kids. Now can I go back to sleep, and forget this ever happened?" - Selina

"WHERE IS MY NIECE!!!" - Tony

"Oh, hey Tony, didn't know you were there, don't know who, or where your niece is, but good luck trying to find her. Oh and Bruce, I'm shutting my phone off so you don't keep calling till the butt crack of dawn. And congrats it's now 4am. you owe me a lunch date, uh-ba-bye." Selina then hung up her phone and turned it off.

"That went pretty well if you ask me, now I'm going back to sleep." - Selina

•—–· Back to Batsy ·–—•

The room was silent for a few minutes before Jason spoke up.

"Does that mean that Pixiepop ran away and is even more lost now?!" - Jason

"Oh god, what do we do, what if she got hurt?!" - Dick

"What if she got kidnapped?!" - Jason

"What if she's with a big time Gotham Villain?!" - Dick

"... What if she got more coffee?" - Tim

"Oh Hell No" - Jason/Dick

"... Lets all go to sleep, and when we wake up, we'll head over to their base and double check. She could've just said that because I called her at 3am." - Bruce

"But my niece is still out there!" - Tony

"You're going to sleep Tony." - Pepper then dragged Tony to his room.

•—–· Back to Maria ·–—•

Selina went to a different part of the building, where Maria assumed the bedrooms were. Ivy had gone to the greenhouse to be with the plants, and now it was just her and Harley left on the couch, and she couldn't sleep.

"... Harley?" - Maria

"Yeah hun?" - Harley

"I can't sleep." - Maria

"Well, watcha wanna do till ya get tired?" Harley asked sitting up a little straighter to get a better look at Maria.

Maria gave a sly smile, and looked Harley in the eyes "Want to go free-running on the rooftops?"

"... Alright, but lets get some coffee, and a snack in us first." - Harley gave her a side hug, before getting up to go make the coffee, and grab some snacks.

After they had their coffee, they climbed to the roof of the base. Harley was in her outfit, bat in hand and ready to do some bonding.

"So, how does ya outfit work?" - Harley

"Like so, ready Mullo?" - Maria

"Yes Maria" - Mullo

"Ok, Mullo, Get Squeaky!" A bright light flashes, and when Harley could see again, Maria was in a dark gray suit, wearing black knee high boots, with a strip of pink at the knee, and black elbow length gloves with the same pink strip at her elbow. Her mask was a slightly lighter gray on the top part, and pink on the bottom. Her hair was pulled into two buns with pink ribbons that faded to gray, and to black at the very tip. Her jump rope around her waist forming a tail going just below the back of her knees.

"Just when I think ya can't get any more adorable. So what should I call ya?" - Harley

"You can call me Multimouse." - Maria

Soon they were racing and doing tricks off different roofs, they were really enjoying themselves. From one of the roofs they heard a commotion in one of the alleys, when they looked down they saw a man holding a woman at gunpoint.

"Not good, seems like he's got issues, probably lost his lover, most likely has additions to drugs and alcohol, and seems to be a little tipsy." - Harley

"I've got a plan." - Multimouse

…………

Multimouse droped a little way behind the guy, grabbing his attention while Harley got the lady to safety.

"You know there's a help center two blocks from here that would be more than willing to help you." - Multimouse

The crook just raised his gun to her trying to keep it steady as he spoke.

"Give me all your money little girl, or else I'll hurt you."

"1. That's not how you hold a gun. 2. That is no way to treat any girl. and 3. Instead of money, I'll give you my jump rope." - Multimouse

"Why the hell would I want your jump rope, that thing looks worthless." the crook lowered his guard enough as Multimouse pretended to hand over her jump rope, only to use it in a quick motion to dismarm the man, as Harley promptly knocked him out with one swing.

"Lets neva have ya at gunpoint again, okay hun? I'm afraid my heart can't take it." - Harley said while tying the crook to a lamppost.

"Sorry, but it was the best idea I could come up with at the moment, besides, any guy with a gun would feel like they have the upper hand if they're facing a random little girl with a jump rope, rather than Gothams' Harley Quinn with a bat." - Multimouse

"Sadly I'm just too popular with the kiddos on the street." - Harley

…………

They continued to stop a few more muggers on the way back to the base, and when they got back they peaked around the corner to see the whole Batfam plus Iron Man talking with Ivy and Selina.

"How much you want to bet we can get back out before they see us?" - Whispering Multimouse

"... Lets try hidin' in the kitchen." - Whispering Harley

As they tried to sneak by (still in their costumes) Selina just walks over and draggs them to the group.

"Here, now let me sleep!" - Selina

"Dang it Selina we wanted tah see just how long we could hide out in the kitchen!" - Harley

Selina did a double take now realizing they both went out.

"... You didn't." - Selina

"We wanted tah go free-runnin'! So what?" - Harley

"She could've gotten hurt Harls." - Ivy

"My suits magic, I am invulnerable to bullets, normal magic, swords, knifes, anything staby staby, and I can withstand any temperature in it." Multimouse said with a slight pout.

"Hold up, is she a magical girl?" - Red Hood in the background

When Selina let go both Harley and Multimouse went behind Ivy for protection.

"We can still make a run for it." - Harley whispered to Multimouse

"... Ok, I'll meet you on the roof." - Whispering Multimouse

Harley gave a nod as she slowly inched her wasy closer to the door that lead to the roof, as she saw Iron Man approach Multimouse.

"Please get out of your suit, we need to talk about why you're here-" - Iron Man

"Multitute!" - Multimouse

Harley then saw Multimouse shrink into dozens of tiny little versions of herself as her clones spread out in all directions, one of which was heading right for her.

"Wth, you never told us she could use magic!" - Red Robin

Harley picked her up, and slipped through the door without anyone noticing.

"That was great, but how do ya get back tuh normal size?" - Harley

"Simple, I just merge back with my clones." As she said this, all her clones came back, and she merged with herself, becoming normal sized again.

"Where to?" - Multimouse

………… So now The Batfam is trying to find many long gone Mini-Multimouses, and Harley seems to have disappeared with her. Harley and Multimouse are now running over the roofs, heading for Wayne Manor.

"So why are we going to Wayne Manor?" - Multimouse

"Because, Batsy will neva think of lookin' for us at his own home, at least not fawh a little while." - Harley

When they arrived at the Manor, Multimouse de-transformed as Harley knocked on the door.

"Ms. Quinn, Ms. Maria, pleasure to see you here, please come in." - Alfred

"Are any of the bat-birds here?" - Harley

"Ms. Barbara, Ms. Stephanie, and Ms. Cassandra are the only ones here at the moment." - Alfred

"Do ya think you can keep us bein' here a secret from Batsy?" - Harley

"Harley? What are you doing here with Maria?" - Barbara

"It seems that Ms. Harley and Ms. Maria are now playing hide and seek with the rest of the family." - Alfred

"Did someone say hide and seek?" - Steph

"Yes, so could we maybe try and keep this a secret from everyone else, please?" - Maria

"Sure, it was starting to get boring around here. We can all hide in the living room no one ever use. Barbara you show them the way, I'll get the food/drinks and boardgames." - Steph

"Is this alright with you Alfred?" Maria

"It's all right Ms. Maria, you can hide out in the old living room." - Alfred

"Thanks Alfie, ya the best." - Harley

"Thank you Alfred." - Maria

"Ok then, follow me." - Barbara

…………

In the old living room, Harley, Maria, Barbara, Steph, and Cass began to formulate a plan.

"Ok, so the best way for them to never find you is to have your phone off, stay away from any and all cameras, and show your face to no one." - Steph

"So, do you have anything in mind that you might want to do?" - Barbara

"Can we put them on a wild goose chase?" - Maria

Cass nodded to Marias' suggestion approvingly.

"I can hack a few traffic cams to help with that." - Barbara

"We can also throw in some useless hints, to throw dem even further off our scent." - Harley

"Good idea Harley." - Barbara

"Thanks, but how long do ya think we should make it last?" - Harley

"As long as Maria wants it to." - Barbara

"Then let the games begin." - Maria.

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Chapter 5 complete. Hope everyone is stayin' safe, Rockin' those Positive Vibes, and havin' an absolutely wonderful day. BUG-OUT 🐞💮🐞

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜Tag List〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

1st Place★: @animegirlweeb ☕ , 2nd Place★: @jumpingjoy82, 3rd Place★: @zalladane, 4th Place★: @jayjayspixiepop, 5th Place★: @arty-shadow-morningstar, 6th Place★: @smol-book-nerd, 7th Place★: @irontimetravelflower, 8th Place★: @fandom-trapped-03, 9th Place★: @meme991001, 10th Place★: @buginetye, 11th Place★: @blackroserelina, 12th Place★: @jessigurl-design, 13th Place★: @adrestar, 14th Place★: @moon5608, 15th Place★: @little-bluestar, 17th Place★: @myazael, 18th Place★: @our-preciousss, 19th Place★: @wolf2118, 20th Place★: @nyx-in-line, 21st Place★: @kking13, 22nd Place★: @lunerlover2024, 23rd Place★: @moonlightstar64, 24th Place★: @corporeal-terrestrial, 25th Place★: @kashlyn, 26th Place★: @tbehartoo, 27th Place★: @heart-charming, 28th Place★: @solangelo252, 29th Place★: @t1dwarrior-of-earth, 30th Place★: @lady-phoenix-of-tardis, @lupagrimm

#miraculous ladybug #damian x marinette #marinette dupain cheng #damian wayne #miraculous fanfic #mlb crossover #harley quinn #posion ivy #bud and lou #tony stark #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #pepper potts #alfred pennyworth #multimouse #shenanigans #fanart #miraculous lb #badass marinette #class salt #fluff #foryou #miraculous marinette #mlb x dc #mlb x marvel #batfam #maribat #Whacky Gotham Goofy New York and Chaotic Paris

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Runaway Ride

Fandom: Never Have I Ever Pairing: Devi/Paxton Rating: T Word Count: 4889

Summary: Kamala gets herself into a pickle, Devi needs to go to her, and Paxton has a car. Problem-solving has never been so simple, but that's how it is when your new boyfriend is Paxton Hall-Yoshida. Throw in a little hand-holding on the highway and this family crisis might just be the best date Devi will ever have.

When they finally took a break from dancing—disconnecting hands from hips and shoulders, lips from lips—Devi stepped away in a dreamy headspace. She almost collided with Jonah, but he didn’t tell her to look where she was going, only offered a shrewd, indulgent smile.

Actually, everybody was treating her like that; every eye that caught hers on her way to the table where she’d left her stuff was unjudgmental, admiring, straight up fairy-godmotherly. Devi hadn’t received this much notice since her dad’s death and her subsequent paralysis. And those looks had been pitying, freaked out. Positive attention was new and cool and she wondered, as she grabbed her phone out of her turquoise clutch, whether her socials would show more of the same when she opened them. Would people have snapped stealthy pics of her and Paxton dancing now that she’d been vaulted into the pseudo-celebrity strata of the high school hierarchy? Would the Insta posts be captioned with hashtags of their ship name? Paxi? Daxton? Vishwall-Yoshumar?

Devi never got to check.

Unlocking her phone, she found two missed calls from her mother. Maybe two wouldn’t have seemed like a whole lot to someone else, but Devi knew that, in order for her mom to risk rudeness by stepping away from the company she was hosting at home not once but twice, she’d need to be pretty frantic. Two missed calls from Nalini Vishwakumar were the equivalent of six or seven from any other mother.

Skirting the edges of the gym as she headed away from DJ Humanoid—that nit-witted saboteur of slow dances—Devi was about to call her mom back when her screen changed to an incoming call from Kamala. She pressed her other hand to her ear and answered it.

“Hey. Do you know what’s going on with my mom? She called me twice and, honestly, she knows I’m at the d—”

“Devi, shut up. Sorry,” Kamala sighed. “But I may have kidnapped your history teacher and now I’m panicking a little.”

Devi stopped in her tracks.

“You did what? Why is the sound weird?”

As she was trying to identify the background noise coming from Kamala’s end, her eyes swept over the crowd of her classmates and landed on Fabiola’s. Her friend had been smiling, mid-sway as she held Eve from behind and chatted with Sasha, but it fell off her face like Devi off Dr. Jackson’s roof. Fab disentangled herself from her girlfriend and crossed the room to stand with Devi. She was frowning, silently asking for an explanation for Devi’s distress, but Devi didn’t really have one yet.

“We’re in his car on the highway,” her cousin was saying. “He was a little drunk, so I’m driving.”

Devi had imagined that Kamala was exaggerating, but no, this was really starting to sound like a kidnapping.

“You better be on hands-free right now,” she lectured. Then, because she wasn’t exactly a paragon of road safety herself—barely an hour ago, she’d walked right out in front of Paxton’s jeep—didn’t wait for confirmation. “What the hell happened? Context, Kamala!”

“Well, as soon as I snuck out of the house—”

“But why did you sneak out?!”

“Devi, I can’t talk about that right now!” Devi’s eyebrows shot up at the clear and abnormal hysteria in her cousin’s voice. “I ran out of the house,” Kamala continued, “totally directionless, and the first thing that popped into my head was Manish’s invitation for me to come to karaoke…”

“Ew, what the fuck, don’t call Mr. K that.”

What? Fab mouthed at her, but Devi shook her head.

“That is his name and what he asked me to call him. Anyway,” Kamala said, sounding strained, “I went to your school and met up with him and now I’m driving his car and I think I might have shut my sari in the car door, but I’m scared to pull over and check because if I stop the car, I’m going to have to confront things and I think I’d rather not do that yet.”

“Kamala,” Devi said in a heavy, careful voice. “You have to pull over. I totally get what you’re saying because it sounds like something I might do—minus the part where you kidnapped Mr. K—” Fabiola’s eyes went dramatically wide as she was adjusting her tiara. “—but this isn’t you. You don’t run away from your obligations and elope with my teachers!”

“Manish and I didn’t elope. It isn’t in any way romantic.”

“For sure though? It’s not?” Devi heard another voice in the car ask.

“Mr. K, back off! Kamala’s in the middle of a crisis!” she shouted. “And please be drunk enough to forget that I yelled at you.”

“Devi, what should I do?” Kamala asked, sounding desperate in a sad way now.

“Where are you?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Ok, well, which direction are you heading in?”

“Um, either north or south.”

“You’re a disaster,” Devi muttered.

“What was that?”

“Uh… I said, don’t drive any faster. Try to read the next sign you pass so you can tell me where you are.”

“Alright,” Kamala said.

Devi tilted her phone away from her mouth so her cousin wouldn’t hear her frustrated sigh. She locked eyes with Fabiola.

“Kamala panicked at her engagement dinner and ran off with Mr. K. They’re either headed for Mexico or Canada, but I’ll know more in a minute.”

Fab blinked.

“Wow.”

“I know. It’s a lot. And this is me talking,” Devi emphasized.

“I don’t know if you would do anything this big. Mainly because you don’t have a driver’s license.”

“True.”

“Santa Barbara in twenty-six miles,” Kamala said in her ear.

“Damn, you made good time.”

“The traffic was quite manageable.”

“Try to calm down a little and get off the highway when you can. Don’t go past Santa Barbara. I’m coming to talk you down in person,” Devi said. “Oh, and don’t answer any of my mom’s calls; she’ll just stress you out.”

“That doesn’t seem very responsible. How about I send her a text when I stop to let her know I’m ok?”

Devi rolled her eyes.

“Suit yourself.”

“Thank you, Devi. But how will you get here?”

“Let me worry about that. Text me when you stop so I know exactly where I’m going.”

“I will.”

“’K. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Devi hung up and sighed massively, slumping into the wall and feeling a streamer crumple against her back. She and Fabiola stared at each other.

“What are you gonna do?” Fab asked.

“Be the hero my family needs, but not the one they deserve.”

“Are you misquoting Batman to justify doing something reckless?”

“First of all, rescuing Kamala isn’t reckless, and second of all, the movie isn’t called Batman, it’s The Dark Knight. Young-ish Christian Bale, hello.”

Fabiola pointed a finger at her own face.

“Young-ish out-of-touch lesbian, hello. At least I was close.”

Devi sighed again while Fab smiled sadly at her in obvious sympathy.

“It’s after ten at night. How am I gonna get to Santa Barbara?”

“Assuming you’re not going to ask your mom—”

“No.”

“Then you need a ride.”

“You need a ride? I’ll drive you.”

It was Paxton, walking up and tentatively taking Devi’s hand while darting uncertain glances at Fabiola. Devi felt her entire face light up.

“You don’t want to know where or why?” she teased.

His expression said those were insignificant details. Wow. Devi’d never had a fantasy where Paxton joined forces with her, bounty hunter-style, to track down a flighty Kamala, but this felt oddly romantic. Passionate even? They’d see where the night took them.

“You wouldn’t wanna leave the dance unless it was serious,” Paxton reasoned. “So, I’ll drive you. You wanna go now?”

“I guess we better. Lemme just grab my…”

“I’ll get it,” Fab said, raising a hand like the nerd she was as she volunteered.

She darted back through the dancers to grab Devi’s things and Devi watched their classmates part for their Cricket Queen. She was so proud of Fab. Also, she felt kinda bad for ditching such a momentous occasion. But Kamala needed her, and would totally do the same for her if she ever went off the deep end and kidnapped a dude while fleeing a proposal. Not that Devi could see herself fleeing a proposal (she glanced at Paxton as she thought this, then quickly away, thinking, Way too soon!). Carrying out a kidnapping? With a sufficiently convincing pro-and-con list, anything was possible.

“Basically, Kamala freaked and drove to Santa Barbara with a drunken Mr. K,” Devi said, because Paxton might not have asked to be informed, but she wanted him to know what he was getting himself into. Beyond that, she wanted to give him the chance to say, No way, Devi. I came here to look hot and dance up on you, nothing more.

“Oh shit,” was what he said.

“Damn right, oh shit. You still want to drive? This is going to take a while.”

She should probably have felt guilty about trying to subtly persuade him with her eyes, but not only was Paxton the least complicated option, he was also her first choice. If she maintained eye contact long enough, Devi figured it might trigger some kind of boyfriend override that made going for a long drive at night just as appealing as staying here and dancing with her butt pressed thrillingly to his groin when the teacher-chaperones weren’t looking.

“As long as we can hit up the bathrooms first. I was going to, but then I got talking to Trent, and then Marcus was doing a handstand…”

“Definitely,” Devi assured him. “Good call. Empty the tank. Oh, actually, that reminds me… how much gas do you have in your jeep? If we need to stop at a gas station, I’ll have to factor that in to the ETA I give Kamala.”

Paxton shook his head at her, smiling in what she liked to think was affectionate amusement.

“I filled it up on the way here. I needed a minute to, uh…” To her epic astonishment, he ducked his head self-consciously, cheeks pinking. “You know. Get my shit together. Up here.” He tapped his temple with his index finger. “I wanted to show up for you, like, completely. You know?”

Right as Devi was at dangerously high risk of sagging to the floor in blissful bonelessness, Fabiola sprang to her side, shoving the rest of her possessions at her.

“Ok, ok!” Devi said, harried.

She had to dump it all on the bathroom counter a minute later anyway, but after she’d done her pre-road trip pee, she came out and gave Fab a better thank-you.

“Your Highness,” Paxton told Fabiola with a nod.

Fab nodded back, smiling wryly.

“Prosecutor.”

“I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship,” Devi assessed, “but we gotta go! Say congrats to Eve for me again!”

“Sure. Drive safe!”

Devi and Paxton pushed through the doors together, striding quickly with his hand wrapped around hers. In the parking lot, she glanced sideways to see him digging his keychain out of his front pocket.

“Oh,” she said, “so I wasn’t just feeling that you were very happy to dance with me.”

Until they got into the jeep, it was too dark to see whether she’d gotten him to blush again, but she liked to think that she had. He was definitely smiling.

They got in and Devi carefully tucked her skirt around her legs, mind on Kamala’s cautionary tale. At least it was until Paxton leaned forward to shrug out of his jacket and she saw his shoulder muscles jump beneath his fitted button-down, his narrow black tie swinging forward. Dang. Fifty shades of Hall-Yoshida.

“Santa Barbara?” Paxton double-checked once he was settled behind the wheel, steering out of the student lot.

“Santa Barbara.”

Until they were on the highway and heading out of Los Angeles, Devi did her best to keep her worry about Kamala’s situation contained to the way she flapped her phone against her thigh. Usually, she was stressing about the problems right in front of her (when she wasn’t blatantly ignoring them, only to have that approach bite her in the ass later), but with whatever was going on with Kamala, she kinda had to look ahead.

Had she wanted Kamala to get engaged to Prashant that badly? Well, the best thing about Prashant was that you never knew when having additional hot relatives would be to your benefit. (Devi was already hoping that Mr. K would get over the more nerve-wracking elements of this night and just remember having fun with her stunning cousin… and that this could possibly translate into at least a month of generous grades, if she could somehow spin these shenanigans as an intentional blind date arranged by herself.) However, an engaged Kamala was wholly different from a married Kamala. She wouldn’t be around to watch nonsensical episodes of Riverdale, or be duped into hijinks, or listen to Devi when her mom was too tired, or bitch about her shitty lab-mates in exchange for sitting through Devi bitching about her complicated feelings on the subject of Aneesa dating her ex. She wouldn’t live with them anymore, and the family that had begun to miraculously fill out after her dad had died would be back down to three. And the other two members of it would be old (Sorry, Mom, she thought) and not at all prepared to champion her dating life or the cleavage-accentuating formal dress currently buoying it.

So, yeah, Devi was looking ahead—eyes glazed over as the yellow lights of cars slipped around them to prevent her vision from fully adjusting to the blue-black sky—and feeling more than a little nervous and scared of the Kamala-shaped hole she’d have in her life if her dazzling, dorky cousin left her house for one she might eventually fill with the most beautiful children the world had ever seen.

Thankfully, Paxton was there. It startled her when he took one hand off the wheel and felt across her lap to grab hers, loosely interlacing their fingers. Devi quit hitting her phone against her leg. She sent off their updated location to Kamala and then let her phone fall flat.

“Did she say where she was?” Her boyfriend’s voice was quiet in the car and she realized for the first time that her head had been too crammed with thoughts to put on any music.

“Carpinteria State Beach. Do you know the exit?”

“We’ll find it.”

“And if you want me to drive while you rest on the way back…”

Paxton laughed.

“No way. Safety first.”

“Says the guy driving one-handed,” Devi countered, not that she was eager to surrender the hand warming hers.

He turned his head just long enough to shoot her a look.

“Whoa, pal, eyes on the road!” she said. (She had a half-baked plan to call her boyfriend ‘pal’ a few times and thereby de-weaponize the word in a memory that still felt like a fading bruise, an almost-gone sore spot in who she and Paxton were before they were openly a them.)

“Sorry,” he said, staring out the windshield again. He grinned. “You look gorgeous.”

“Really?”

“So gorgeous.” Paxton’s voice was softer this time, the underlying laugh it had carried since she’d offered to drive his jeep drained out of it. It was nearly a sigh.

“Thanks. So do you.”

“You know, I feel fucking awful for hitting you with my car, but I still think I mighta felt worse if I’d walked in and seen you dancing with somebody else.”

Devi twisted their hands, touching the back of his to her thigh so she was sandwiching it between leg and palm for a moment, aiming for reassuring.

“I wanna say I would never be that flaky, but my previous offenses speak for themselves.”

“So does doing this with me.”

“Uh,” she droned, “to recap, you left a fun thing to do a huge favour for me. You’re talking about it like this is my act of redemption. I feel like if you examine it for a sec, you’ll see how I’m actually kind of a dick for accepting your help.”

“I want us to be together,” he said bluntly. “Here we are. Together.”

“It’s that simple?”

“I don’t see why it can’t be.”

“Huh. I think you’re really gonna be good for my tendency to overcomplicate a situation.”

Paxton laughed and unthreaded his fingers from Devi’s. But it wasn’t to release her for pointing out that this date was, in actual fact, the coordinated response to a family crisis; his fingertips moved lightly over her palm, momentarily trapped when her fingers flinched inward in reaction to how it tickled, then traced along the thin skin of her inner wrist. He wasn’t trying to pull away. He was lingering. Though his touch when he sunk his hand into her hair or drew her closer by her waist had always been fairly gentle, it had often had the faint aggression of hastiness to it, clutching her as they made out in her room, always listening for footsteps in the hallway. How Paxton touched her now was pure, exploratory tenderness. It made the hairs on the back of Devi’s neck stand up as a wave of shivers rushed up her spine and crested somewhere around the nape of her neck.

He must’ve felt that wave break, the foamy aftereffects in some tic of her arm or quickening of her pulse while his fingers skimmed gradually up the inside of her arm towards her elbow, because he chanced another quick glance at her.

“That feels good,” she explained.

Paxton looked forward, nodding slowly, and shifted in the driver’s seat.

“Good.”

She thought it must have felt good for him too, knowing he’d made her shiver.

—

The miles were flicking past for Paxton—another, another, another, as fast and steady as the dashed lines painted between the lanes, his arms cutting the water on the front crawl. He wanted Devi, beside him, to believe that he was paying attention to his driving, but he was honestly kinda zoned out. Like that time he’d swum to San Diego, he let his body go through the motions (in this case, twitching the wheel, putting on cruise control when traffic thinned so he didn’t have to focus on the pedals) while his mind floated freely.

Where it floated was to his girlfriend.

At ten years old, he’d been the last kid in his swim class to jump off the 10m board. It was optional—a treat after getting water up their noses turning somersaults below the surface and doing egg-beater legs in between—but all the other boys in the group had done it eagerly, shrieking on their way down to sloppy pencil dives. Paxton had climbed the stairs all the way to the top easily enough, even stepped onto the wide platform, bordered by metal railings and rough under his bare feet. He’d walked out to the end and frozen to find himself so high above the pool.

He hadn’t feared the water, he’d feared the air. Being so exposed on his own at the end of the diving board. Eventually, he’d retreated, then surprised the coach waiting down at the poolside by turning around and taking the jump at a run. Few memories felt as good as the sensation of giving himself back to gravity and letting it reunite him with the water. He’d just had to get past the exposure.

Same thing tonight, going to find Devi at the dance. Holding her hand in his had been him reaching the platform, but when they stood together, just inside the school’s doors, Paxton hadn’t known for sure whether he would take the leap or retreat. And not just for a running start this time, but in a way that turned his sixteen-year-old present self back into one of those nervous ten-year-olds who wimped out and had to take the coward’s way down—descending each step they’d climbed. He might not have run, and yet he hadn’t needed to back up and race into their relationship either. Momentum hadn’t carried them inside for everyone they knew to see them. It had been a calm approach, even if he’d been shaking on the inside when he saw Trent staring at them.

So maybe Paxton had learned something in the last six years, or maybe it was harder to feel exposed with somebody right next to you.

She really did look gorgeous, like he’d said, and because he didn’t want her to worry about his focus if she spotted him gazing at the side of her face while she texted her cousin, the glances he stole were of the knee region. Her dress’s overlay sparkled when the high lights of eighteen-wheelers passed them and the specific teal of the dress itself reminded him of a river he’d swum in once during an out-of-state family vacation. Natural and deep and fresh, and exasperating for his parents because he’d accidentally doggy-paddled himself all the way to a small waterfall and hadn’t heard them calling him back for dinner around the campfire. He felt all that about Devi, except for hoping for a different reaction from his parents when they met her.

Holy shit. He was going to have to introduce his girlfriend to his embarrassing hippy parents. But then, she’d already met Rebecca, so maybe they were set? A sister’s approval should count for a ton.

No, no, no, Devi would have to meet his parents. He was doing this. The two of them were doing this. Paxton exhaled determinedly through his nose and made himself concentrate on the remaining miles he needed to cover. His mind, anyway. His hand continued to stroke and search, covering his girlfriend’s hand with his until he had her fingers tucked away protectively under his own, and then caressing all the way up to the crook of her elbow so suddenly that she made a noise between a laugh and a yelp because he’d unintentionally tickled her. Man, she was cute.

The very end of their journey required the most concentration from Paxton; he finally took back his hand to have both on the wheel as he steered them off the highway and Devi’s got lonely or something, because it chased across to where he was sitting and landed on his thigh. His jaw clenched. He could feel the heat of her palm through his pantleg and congratulated himself on being a driving legend for driving smoothly to where they needed to park for beach access.

Devi had a pink sweater that she put on, but Paxton grabbed his jacket out of the back as well in case she needed it. It was almost midnight and a breeze rolled up off the water, rippling his tie and swishing Devi’s dress. He didn’t have to ask what they should do next—there was just one other car parked nearby and Devi’s cousin was already standing outside of it, raising a hand to wave sheepishly as they got out of his jeep.

“Here,” he said, holding out his jacket for his girlfriend to put her arms through the sleeves. “You guys talk. I’ll be down at the beach.”

Devi turned her back to him as she accepted the jacket, but she glanced over her shoulder with a look of concern.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You’ll want privacy. I need to stretch my legs anyway.”

“Just don’t swim away, ok?” she requested. “I don’t think I can handle more than one rescue mission per night.”

Paxton could tell by her expression that it wasn’t entirely a joke. He grinned and gripped his lapels, now on Devi, reeling her in.

“I promise. You’d probably take the opportunity to try to drive the jeep home, and I don’t want to risk that.”

“Me committing grand theft auto or me getting hurt?”

“I bet they tested you for smartness,” he said, “but you think they have a test for being a smartass? You’d score high, Vishwakumar.”

“I know, I know, you don’t want me to get hurt.”

She was so infuriatingly flippant, rolling her big brown eyes at him.

“That’s right,” Paxton said plainly. There he was, up on the platform again.

Devi straightened his tie and let her hand rest flat on his chest. He remembered how overwhelmed she’d looked the first time he’d placed her palm there, right on his skin. Even now, it almost made him laugh.

“Ok,” she said, and he was surrendering himself to the sweet strength of gravity, propelled down to the beach while Devi stayed to talk to Kamala.

—

Devi had heard that there were tidepools here, and she was nervous about stepping into one and spearing some aquatic animal on her high heel. Well, she couldn’t magically improve her night vision, but she could take her shoes off and remove the possibility of impalement. They dangled from her fingers as she picked her way down to the beach.

Her boyfriend was sitting in the sand, staring out at the ocean. It just looked so romantic—with the stars the sky was too bright to see at home, and the waves, and the back of Paxton’s white shirt in the moonlight—that Devi decided to slip into the scene without saying anything at all.

A mistake. Paxton gasped and jumped. Apparently, he hadn’t heard her over the noise of the water.

“Sorry, sorry!” she said.

He sighed and smiled, getting to his feet.

“How’d it go?”

“I think it went well. She was feeling calm enough to drive, so she’s on her way home now. She’s gonna cover for me until we get back.”

“That’s good… but what about Mr. Kulkarni?”

“He was passed out in the passenger’s seat,” Devi stated. “I guess he’s kind of a lightweight? Kamala said she’s going to drive back to our school and leave him and his car in the parking lot. She’s planning to call my mom for a ride home. If it were me, I think I’d take the bus and try to sneak back into the house as quietly as possible, but Kamala still has a lot to learn about how to thoroughly dodge your problems.”

“And maybe about how to climb to the second floor of your house from the outside?” Paxton suggested with a meaningful smirk.

She did her best to return it, but the odds were that it didn’t look nearly as sexy on her. Then again, she had moonlight and midnight and well-displayed cleavage on her side.

“How’d you learn to do that so quietly anyway?” Devi asked, tossing her shoes to the sand and stepping forward to boldly wrap her arms around Paxton’s waist.

He’d had his hands in his pockets, but as soon as she’d begun to move towards him, he’d pulled them out. His arms encircled her, his hands on the back of his own black jacket. Although Devi wanted to offer him the jacket back—he felt slightly chilly through his shirt—she didn’t want the two of them to separate. Besides, body heat was a thing. This was practically what it was for. So Devi just pressed herself closer, breathing the scent of the ocean and Paxton’s fading cologne.

“Trent,” he said.

“Yeah, actually, that checks out.”

Were there boundaries between warming someone up while having a conversation and just hugging them? It wasn’t clear to Devi, but it felt good when they both went quiet for a while. She stood unevenly on the cold sand and listened to the thud of Paxton’s heart.

“You never said yes,” he said eventually, quietly.

“Yes to what?”

“I told you I came to the dance as your boyfriend and you never actually agreed to be my girlfriend. We kinda just started making out.”

Devi lifted her cheek from his chest so she could look at him. He didn’t appear disappointed, more like he was making an observation. Maybe he’d been reflecting, out here in the dark, while she and Kamala had talked.

“In my books, that’s an obvious yes,” she said, grinning. “What more do you need?”

She could see him trying not to smile.

“A little atmosphere would be nice,” Paxton said. “Maybe a long drive, or the beach. A full moon. Romance me, Vishwakumar.”

Devi vibrated with silent laughter. Or her heart was just beating really, really freaking hard.

“Sounds like you’ve got some pretty big expectations there.”

“And stars,” he added. “There should be a shitload of stars.”

With that, he took one hand off her back to point far above them. Devi tipped her head back, the light of the stars a friendly blur as she tried to pick one to settle on, just one. Paxton’s face coming forward to hover over hers blotted them out. Her boyfriend kissed her, light and ghosting and then firm and slow.

“On the other hand,” he said, pulling back a little, “I think we were onto something with the making out.”

Devi smiled and dug her toes into the sand to make herself taller, lips at the ready and realigned with his.

“We did set a precedent.”

#my writing #Never Have I Ever #Never Have I Ever spoilers #NHIE #NHIE spoilers #Devi Vishwakumar #Paxton Hall-Yoshida #Devi x Paxton #Daxton #Fabiola Torres #Kamala Nandiwadal #couldn't find a gif I wanted and then all of a sudden I was making a moodboard

[stxleslyds]

LET’S TALK ABOUT BATMAN AND ROBIN #20 (2011).

And the issues that followed that story (Batman and Robin vol.2 #34-37)

DC and the fandom really let Bruce get away with what he did to Jason in that issue. DC because they had Jason go back to Bruce a few issues later to finish their story and the fandom because this moment in comics isn’t talked about enough which has led people to believe that the the concept of “batfamily” as it is in fandom belongs in canon.

This type of moments in stories should make a bigger impact on comic relationships and fandom’s perception of said relationships. From where I am standing Bruce’s actions in that issue are right on the edge of unforgivable and they could have used them as a key moment for Jason to finally move on from all Bat related bullshit without thinking that he had to stay and finish the job (of getting Damian back).

Making Jason move on so easily from that situation really makes it look like if Batman is physically, emotionally, or mentally abusive to his children then it’s not that much of a big deal, it’s just a subplot to a bigger story.

And that is something that happens repeatedly in current comics and it’s disgusting.

Anyway, now that I am done with my rambling, I will start talking about the issues that I mentioned.

Batman and Robin (2011) #20 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

For a little context, this issue is set after Damian’s death and Bruce is looking for ways to resurrect him.

And in this particular issue of this run, Batman recruits Jason Todd between the events of RHatO vol. 1 #18 and #19, that’s why in the cover of the issue the name of the run is changed to ‘Batman and Red Hood’.

A bit more context is that in issue #18 Jason finally recovers from the injuries that he got when the trap that Joker had put on his helmet detonated, and Jason was also having an existential crisis after the Joker convinced him that he was always present in Jason’s life and that he shaped the man that Jason had become (If you want to read more about that and the times' Joker has played with Jason’s mind, I have this post in which I talk all about that).

Good, now I can finally talk about this hellish issue.

Bruce asks for Jason’s help because he wants to take down some marksmen and women that are based in Ethiopia that might or might not have been the same people who took on the job of looking for Damian when his mother had put a bounty on his head.

One would imagine that Bruce calling Jason for this job means that he would let Jason kill some people, bounty-hunters that are money-driven enough to kill children seem to be the kind of people Jason would have in his black list, but Jason is smart and he knows that Batman won’t let him kill so he asks why is Bruce asking him of all people to join him on this mission, Batman replies with “Because I am seeing red”.

If you, like me, don’t understand why Batman would ask the Red Hood to stop him from killing some very shady people then don’t worry, Batman was lying, he didn’t ask Jason to go with him to beat some bounty-hunters, he has ulterior motives.

I will give it to Tomasi, he wrote Jason as the smart cookie that he is because Jason doesn’t stop picking up on the weird technicalities of the mission, and I will go as far as to say that Jason never truly believed that Bruce was being honest about the true nature of their mission. Smart Chonky, I miss you and love you.

Once they get to Ethiopia Bruce starts setting the rules of engagement (don’t shoot to kill, only hands, knees, and elbows), and off they go. Bruce even makes a comment about how it “feels like old times” and Jason is all happy and warm that Bruce invited him to beat some baddies and he also brings up the fact that Bruce stayed by his side while he was recovering from his injuries, very lovely stuff that will soon mean nothing (and that should have meant nothing because Bruce and his lies had resulted in Joker knowing all of their secret identities and messing with all of them in horrible ways, but the Bat can get away with that too).

Here is part of Bruce’s speech about trust and his lies, “You don’t ever need to thank me, Red Hood, for a family always looks out for each other” to which Jason says, “Yeah but a family also needs to earn each other’s trust” and Bruce continues his speech with, “comes a time when having to keep earning someone’s trust stops and you hope the people you’ve put your faith in will always have your back no matter what”.

Batman, everyone, master detective and master manipulator.

As Batman is talking manipulating Jason he beats every bounty hunter almost effortlessly because he had brought some bat-gadgets that were going to make the fight really easy. And as the fight is over in what looks like a minute Batman and Red Hood get on the Batmobile ready to leave Ethiopia… or not.

Jason is very aware that Batman didn’t need him for that so-called mission so he starts to ask more and more firmly about the real reason as to why Batman brought him to this place.

Batman brought Jason back to Ethiopia, but most importantly back to the Magdala Valley because he wants to see if Jason going back to the place where he died will make him remember how he was resurrected.

Yep, talk about having messed-up parents. Bruce is positively the worst at this moment, but it gets worse.

Jason is rightfully pissed off, he says, “You lied to me, this wasn’t about taking down those mercenaries. You wanted to bring me here, to the worst place in the world and here I was starting to believe all your crap about trust and faith...”

To which Bruce says, “I thought bringing you here could jog your memory, maybe retrieve a detail buried deep in your subconscious that could help piece together how you came back to life so I…”

And my man Jason really continues his thought process only to later tell him how much of a piece of shit he truly is (I love this Chonky, go Jason show this man that he ain’t shit).

“…could apply it to getting Damian back. Yeah, I get it. Did it ever occur to you I might like keeping whatever the hell happened to me buried deep? If you cared about me, you wouldn’t want me to dredge up the one thing I’ve been trying to forget. I don’t want to remember the most horrific day of my life all right? You may like wallowing in your tragedies, Bruce, but I’m done looking back!”

Jason, bravo, tell him exactly how you feel! Any sort of good human being would surely accept that they crossed a massive line and that they should ask for forgiveness next, right?... Right?

No. And that’s because Bruce is a horrible human being, I am sorry but it had to be said, this man has zero empathy for Jason and he proves it when he says the following.

“If you cared about me and what I’ve lost, you’d want to dredge this up! Don’t you see, there is a chance you can help me erase one of the worst days of MY life, Jason! You can give me the greatest gift of all and help me figure out how to bring my son back”

Fuck Bruce Wayne. This man has no right whatsoever to talk this way to Jason, no matter how you see this situation, the whole thing is fucked up. Bruce puts his needs above Jason’s feelings and he diminishes Jason’s position as his son because Bruce only refers to Damian as his son. This whole thing is incredibly nasty.

Here we should have had the point of no return for Jason and Bruce’s relationship, although if you are like me, you might think that the point of no return happened way back in Batman (1940) #650 when Bruce decided that saving the Joker by throwing a batarang at Jason’s neck (how did he know that Jason would survive that, I have no idea, maybe Bruce can see the future) was a better option compared to Jason finally killing the clown. Because that’s the thing, Jason was going to kill the clown but Bruce didn’t let him because he didn’t want more blood in Jason’s hands, I laugh until this day about how stupid Bruce’s thinking was there.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that Jason should have said bye-bye to Batman and all related Batman crap from this moment on. It would have been perfect but DC can’t help themselves and Lobdell’s self-insert-Jason really wants to be part of this amazing family so, no luck for Jason or us.

If you have read my latest post about Joker getting under Jason’s skin or read issue #18 of RHatO you know the context of what Jason says next.

“Yeah, and how about me? How about the gift of not knowing that the Joker manipulated my entire life, huh? The clown tainted everything, the good, the bad, hell my life’s even been tainted by you!”

Yup, Jason was going through it, and he had talked about these feelings with Bruce previously in issue #17 of RHatO, he had asked Bruce if he thought that Joker had created him and Bruce said, “No Jason, He didn’t make you, I never did either. You made you” and Jason was extremely thankful for that. And now, here we are, these feelings are being brought up again but in a very different situation.

Them arguing becomes a physical fight and after Jason asks Bruce “why are you making me stand in the exact same spot he beat me to death?” He replies this “Because I want to watch Damian grow up damn it! Damian earned that right! And I want to give it to him!”

This conversation only gets worse and Bruce’s most horrible side comes to light, like, I understand that Bruce wants Damian to be alive and all that but he is saying all the wrong stuff to Jason. I feel like as the reader I am being told that Bruce values Damian more than he ever did Jason because he is willing to put Jason through his own personal hell for Damian but refuses to see the reasons as to why Jason doesn’t want to do it. Bruce is being incredibly selfish and he is not caring enough about Jason to notice that he is hurting him. He even doesn’t notice after Jason says, “I was ready to stand by your side and you’ve thrown it all away!”

It is incredibly sad but it's also a bit of a look into what Bruce will do to Dick in Nightwing vol. 3 #30. It has the exact same vibe in both issues, Bruce going completely berserk on his children and telling them that he “trained them to be better”.

This issue ends with Jason punching Bruce several times and Bruce taunting Jason by telling him that he might as well continue because he is “still standing”. The levels of manipulation that Bruce had going on here weren’t as high as the ones in Nightwing #30 but he sure was a little bitch every step of the way.

Jason, being smart, doesn’t take the bait and tells Bruce that he is leaving and he is taking the car.

Wouldn’t this have been an amazing moment for Jason to finally rid himself of all Batman-related events and bullshit? How did DC miss this amazing opportunity to make Jason Todd/Red Hood a character that can stand on his own and with his own rules?

The potential that was wasted when they made Jason go back to Bruce and help him get Damian back in issues 33 to 37 of this same run is immeasurable. And just like Joker being able to get under Jason’s skin, him going back to Bruce and the “family” for plot purposes harmed Jason’s characterization greatly.

Batman and Robin (2011) #34-37 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

Whatever kind of respect I held for Tomasi because of the way he wrote Jason in #20 is now gone. Issues 34 to 37 have Jason fighting alongside Batman and him being all buddy-buddy with him.

Now, let me make something clear, Bruce wanting to bring Damian back to life/from Apokolips is absolutely fine with me, a father fighting for his son’s life can always make a good story, the thing is that at this point in time not only the events of Batman and Robin #20 have happened but so have the events of Nightwing #30.

So, Bruce going through all of this for one of his kids (that keeps being brought up as if he were his only son) after he emotionally manipulated Jason and Dick makes this story very bitter.

But I understand what DC is doing, you know? Here is how they manage to make this story as bitter-sweet as possible. In issue 34 of this run, Dick shows up in his Spyral get-up and offers his help in getting Damian back, because the kid meant a lot to him but Bruce can’t have Dick helping him out along with Barbara and Tim because Bruce has everyone convinced that Dick is dead. So, DC was like “here is this big brain idea, let’s have Jason, Barbara, and Tim helping Bruce get Damian back”. And that’s exactly what they did.

They dragged Jason back to Batman-related crap after he was manipulated, insulted, and punched by the man that is supposed to be his father. And this issue is also happening after Jason had such an immense existential crisis that he decided to have his memory wiped so he could cleanse himself on any doubt that the Joker had manipulated his free will.

How on earth are we supposed to believe that Jason is dumb enough to go back to Batman after all that? Does DC and its writers read their own material? Do they check if the characters that they are planning on using have contradicting narratives?

It’s so messy, the opportunity that DC, Tynion, Tomasi, and Lobdell got to make Jason his own man and his own character was completely wasted, just for a Batman event!

And it isn’t like Jason’s participation in getting Damian back was crucial, it really wasn’t, if I am planning on taking a team of heroes to Apokolips for a rescue mission, Jason, Barbara and Tim wouldn’t be my first options. Jason was put in that book only so they could have someone making snarky comments and for Jason to be like “Bruce we are family, we will always have each other’s backs” I mean, who is Jason supposed to be, Dom Toretto?

Here are some of the moments that seemed the most out of touch for Jason in these issues.

Batman and Robin #34

In issue 34 Bruce gives a long speech about him not wanting to hide things anymore from them (like he did during the events of Death of the Family) and that he wants a new start because they “have been broken long enough” so from that moment forward “good or bad, the truth rules”.

The audacity of this man, my god, how dense can Bruce be? “we’ve been broken long enough”? YOU have broken your relationship with these people time and time again! As you are standing there talking about the truth you are hiding the fact that Dick is alive and well somewhere far away because YOU sent him on a very dangerous mission after he died and you manipulated him.

THE AUDACITY OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT! Am I becoming an anti-Batman blog? I think I am and quite honestly, I am having the time of my life. Fuck this guy.

But back to the issue, after Bruce says that the truth is all that goes now, Barbara basically says that she doesn’t believe him, that all it takes for Bruce to go back to lying is “another situation that justifies you going dark on us in more ways than one” HA! You go, girl! But he is already hiding something from all of you.

Jason being himself supplies a situation like the ones where Batman lies to them in order to get them to work for him, he says, “or bringing me to Magdala Valley on a sightseeing trip to reminisce about the good old days of crowbars and explosions”, ah yes, sure, Bruce did all that back in issue 20 and now it is brought up as an afterthought… how wonderful.

Bruce, of course, lies to their faces when he says “I promise that nothing gets held back. We speak our mind no matter what the cost” to which Jason says “Unconditional truth now and forever, Bruce, otherwise this is all a load of crap”.

AND IT IS! IT IS ALL A LOAD OF CRAP CHONKY! RUN, RUN LIKE THE WIND!

Man, what a mess, poor Dick. He had to wait there and watch his father lie his ass off. And he really wanted to help Bruce get Damian back. Even after Bruce told Dick (as well as Barbara, Tim, and Jason) that he had to go to Apokolips alone Dick still helped Bruce in other ways, Dick really is the MVP, what a man, I love him so much!

(I really needed to show my love for Dick right then and there, sometimes you just have to do it. Dick Grayson is, after all, the greatest comic character to have ever been created).

Batman and Robin #36

First of all, seeing Jason and Barbara wearing the Robin symbol really makes me laugh. It’s just weird to see Barbara wear it, it almost feels like it’s something that shouldn’t have happened and in Jason’s case, well, the last time he wore it he died and it’s kinda funny to see beefy and tall Red Hood wearing a Robin symbol, it’s just funny not a critique.

What I am going to critique from this issue is that after they (Jason, Barbara, and Tim) go to Apokolips and find Bruce they say, “You’re here in this hellish place for your son, Bruce” and Jason continues that with, “And we’re here for you”.

Ah, the irony. Of all people, having Jason say that to Bruce is wild. This man has done nothing for Jason and here Jason is, in Apokolips, of all places, to help a man that does not deserve it. This is proof that Jason is a good man but its also proof that he is an idiot in the New 52, I am sorry but come on, writing Jason this way after what Bruce did to him in issue 20 seems like DC is confirming the fact that even though Batman does the most horrible stuff to his kids, he can still get away with it because his kids still love him all the same.

I understand, loving your parents when they are flawed but Bruce had been written at this time like an abusive father, and he was written like that towards Jason and Dick, so it is not a good look. Bruce saying that he promises that he won’t do it anymore isn’t enough DC, make the man pay for being that way, make his kids stay away from him for a while (or forever).

And here is the other thing, I say that Bruce is Jason and Dick’s father but DC doesn’t, they only acknowledge Damian as Bruce’s son and they do it because the New 52 timeline is non-existent. After all, they deleted a lot of history from these characters, I think it’s fair to assume that Bruce never adopted Dick or Jason and that both of them were Robin for a very short time. What I am trying to say with this is that not only is Bruce getting away with being abusive but he is also getting away with being an abusive father. Because Bruce is their father, at least I see it that way, he isn’t just his friend/mentor/tutor he is their father. He used to be before New 52 and that’s not something that we as the readers are ready or want to let go of.

All in all, Jason didn’t do much in these issues thus confirming (to me, at least) that the only reason he was invited to the party was because they couldn’t use Dick. And that’s an insult to Jason’s character, it would have been better if Jason didn’t appear in this story and he actually had the chance to do something else, like go back to being the proper Red Hood, an anti-hero that does what Batman won’t do for Gotham and its people.

#jason todd #red hood #batman and robin #batman #robin #dc comics #batman and red hood #dick grayson #nightwing

[sohotthateveryonedied]

Gender? In THIS Economy?

Read here on AO3!

Summary:

Duke is questioning stuff and goes to Tim for advice. (feat. trans!Tim and nonbinary!Duke)

“Here you go. One Batburger with extra pickles, extra onions, and extra extra mayonnaise.” Duke drops the paper takeout bag unceremoniously into Tim’s lap. “Your taste buds need a tune-up, bro.”

Tim unwraps his burger and takes a bite. Batburger may be questionable when it comes to copyright laws, but damn if they don’t pile on the condiments better than any fast food restaurant in Gotham. “Sounds to me like you simply haven’t reached the sky-scraping level of enlightenment that I have, grasshopper.”

“Enlightenment would have been going to Red Robin and using your uniform to get a discount,” Duke says. He sits beside Tim on the rooftop’s edge, their legs dangling side by side a hundred feet above Gotham’s plunging gray streets. He digs into his own burger and makes a face. “Enlightenment would also be getting the Robin Nuggets next time. This tastes like dried leather.”

“I like it,” Tim says with a shrug. “It has personality.”

“So does raw sewage, but you don’t see me eating that.”

Tim concedes the point. His communicator buzzes in his belt. He checks the screen and discovers an alert from Cass composed entirely of clown emojis and red harlequin diamonds.

Duke notices. “Should we get that?”

Tim pockets the communicator. “Nah, Spoiler’s got it. We have time to relax.” And he’s not about to pass up quality time with the one little brother who doesn’t hate him. It’s hard enough as it is for Tim and Duke to find the time, what with them being on opposite sleeping schedules and work snatching their attention away with grabby, toddler-sized hands.

“Don’t get a lot of that during the day shift,” Duke says. “Every time an alarm goes off, it’s my business.”

Tim knocks him in the side with his elbow. “That’s what you get for turning to the light side instead of kicking it in the shadows with us. More employees to go around.” He sips his soda for a moment. “Why did you come out tonight, anyway? I thought you stayed in on weeknights.”

“Right. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Duke says it carefully, like he’s testing the waters. “I need advice.”

Tim has to admit that his chest puffs out a little at that. It’s not often people come to him for advice when Dick and Barbara are right there, all full of adult wisdom that Tim is too pitifully shrimpy to possess. “What’s up?”

“It’s kind of...personal.”

“Yes, Bruce does have special powder for suit-chafing. It’s in the cabinet under the first-aid supplies.”

“It’s not that,” Duke says, though he snorts in half-hearted laughter. He looks down at his hands like he’s dreading the words lodged in his throat. “What was it like, realizing you were a dude?”

One of Tim’s eyebrows shoots up. “Oh.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s an invasive question.”

“No, no, it’s fine. You just caught me off guard, is all.” It’s not like this is the first time someone has asked. Tim used to be uncomfortable talking about it, but he’s grown up since then. Talking about his trans journey is as normal as talking about what he did yesterday. He eats a fry. “What do you want to know?”

Duke searches Tim’s face for a sign that he’s lying, that he should back off. When he doesn’t find one, he asks, “How old were you when you figured it out?”

Tim thinks back. “Nine, I think? But even before that, it’s not like I ever really felt like a girl. I knew there was something wrong, but I didn’t know what. When I first heard about what being transgender meant, everything I’d been feeling until then clicked into place.”

“What was it like?” Duke asks, “growing up the way you did? Presenting as a girl when you knew you weren’t?”

Tim shrugs. “I don’t know. It was life at the time. I dealt with it.”

“Was it hard? Pretending to be something you weren’t?”

Tim doesn’t know what answer Duke is looking for, or why he’s so interested, but he won’t ask. “My parents always had this idea of me being the perfect daughter, all obedient and graceful and crap. I’m pretty sure their hope was to eventually marry me off to the highest bidder so they could reap the business benefits.”

“That sounds awful.”

Tim shrugs again. “I didn’t start feeling any different than I should have until around six or seven. I was always a tomboy. I liked doing boy stuff and playing sports, but my parents thought it was a phase I would grow out of. They’d make me wear dresses and go to fancy parties with them, all the while I just wanted to claw my skin off and go home.”

He remembers the nights he would lie awake in bed, imagining what it must be like to have been born someone else. Anyone else. To grow up as a little boy who was allowed to run around, to get dirty, to be himself instead of following some arbitrary guidelines someone else drew up the day he was born. He imagined what it would feel like to answer to a different name than the one he’d been given, which grated on his ears the longer time went on, like an itchy sweater he couldn’t shed. It was hell.

He gives Duke a sly grin. “But the upside of having absent parents is that there aren’t as many people watching you. No one cared if I went to school in the boy’s uniform instead of the girl’s. No one was there to stop me from cutting my hair short the way I wanted it.”

Duke's eyes widen. “You cut your own hair?”

“It went exactly the way you’re thinking. I had to go to the barber the next day and have them fix it because it was so uneven. But by the end of the day, it was the way I always imagined it. I was finally starting to look like the person I wanted to be.”

Duke stares intently at the remains of his burger as if the universe’s answers to an unspoken question were written in sesame seeds. “Did it get better after that? Did you feel...at peace?”

“‘Course not. The world wasn’t magically fixed just because I took a step in the right direction. My problems didn’t go away.” When he says that, Duke looks almost...disappointed? “But,” Tim adds, “it was better than it was before. I still had to act for my parents and the rest of the world, but I didn’t have to hide from myself anymore.”

“How did your parents react when they found out?”

Tim grimaces. “They...didn’t take it well.” He can still hear his father’s voice in his memories, bringing up therapy and camps and whatever places he could think of that would “fix” his little girl.

“But, after a while,” Tim continues, “it was clear that I wasn’t going to change my mind anytime soon. I guess they figured it would be easier to go along with it than fight me every step of the way. They still didn’t like it, but they tolerated it.”

Duke is quiet.

“Why do you ask?” Tim prods.

Duke’s expression doesn’t give anything away. It’s nights like this when Tim can see how perfectly Duke fits into this mental institution they call a family. For all that Duke thrives in the light, he keeps his cards just as close to his chest as the rest of them. He gives Tim a half-smile. “Just wondering.”

“Okay.”

They fall into weighted silence, the scales tipping on either side of their post, but never settling. Tim waits. He finishes his burger and busies himself with reorganizing the pouches in his belt, giving Duke the privacy to think.

“I don’t know,” Duke starts after several minutes, “if I’m a boy.” He looks at Tim. “I think I might be something else.”

“Okay,” Tim says calmly. “What do you feel like?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve always felt different, y’know? When I was a kid, it was because I was smarter than everyone in my class. And it was fine, because I knew what it was and how it worked and why it was a good thing, being the smart one. It made sense. Time went on, the other kids started catching up, but that mismatched feeling never went away. I never felt right in my skin.”

Duke’s face rises to the dark clouds, the Batsignal shining from the top of the police station like a holy beacon. “Then I met Batman. My powers started to come in and everything clicked into place, all at once. That was why I never felt like I fit in with everyone else, because I was different. I had powers. That must have been it.”

“But it wasn’t,” Tim guesses.

Duke shakes his head. “I thought it would be. I mean, what else could it have been, you know? It should have explained why I never felt at home in my identity. But time goes on, I learn how to use my powers, and it fixes some of it, but not everything. There’s still part of me that looks in the mirror and sees something off. Some detail out of place.”

“Do you feel like a girl?” Tim ventures to ask.

Duke folds over the corner of his straw wrapper again and again in tiny triangles. “Nah, I doubt it. I like some feminine things, but I don’t think I’m a girl. Or a guy. I think...I might be nonbinary?”

Tim does his best to channel Bruce’s “supportive dad” energy and smiles. “Okay. What pronouns do you want to use?”

“They/them, maybe? For a while?”

“Duly noted.” He puts a hand on Duke’s shoulder. “I really do appreciate you telling me.”

Duke rubs the back of their neck, their cheeks flushing. “It feels good to say out loud. Not just in my head.”

“Do you think you’re going to tell anyone else? You don’t have to if you’re not ready, but our whole family will support you.”

“Yeah.” Duke picks at their nails, nodding absently. “I know they will. I’m not worried about that.”

“Then what are you worried about?”

Duke takes a deep breath in, and Tim is reminded of a balloon close to bursting. “My parents aren’t dead. I’m going to get them back. And when I do...what are they going to think when they wake up after half a decade and find out that their son isn’t their son anymore? What if they don’t like the person they see?”

Tim can’t say that he hadn’t swum with the same thoughts years ago, back when the person who is Tim Drake was still on the drawing board. But there’s a difference between his situation and Duke’s. “Your parents love you, Duke. They’re not going to stop loving you just because you’ve grown up since they last saw you.”

“What if it’s too much? The superpowers and the crime-fighting and the new gender...it’s a lot to take in.”

“Well, sure,” Tim says. “It might take some time for them to get used to it, but this is who you are. They’re going to love it just as much as they love the rest of you.”

Duke smiles, and if their eyes are a little misty, Tim pretends not to notice.

“Besides,” he says. “If I were you, I’d just lead with the superpowers thing. Anything after that sounds perfectly acceptable.”

#i know this is choppy i'm sorry i just got sick of staring at the word doc #i want to focus on writing but the other half of my brain is like 24/7 #ravencycleravencycleRAVENCYCLE #it's a struggle #duke thomas #the signal #dc signal #tim drake #red robin #robin #batman #batman and robin #batman and the signal #batfamily #batfam #trans tim drake #nonbinary duke thomas #trans duke thomas #pride month #fanfiction #fanfic

[plasticnightmaredoll]

I’m still working on the NSFW Alphabet for Enigma/Edward Nashton/Riddler-Before-He-Was-Riddler from “Arkham Origins,” and it’s going to take some time because of my work schedule being the PITA that it is...

However, I do have some snippets of an Arkham Knight!Riddler x female!Reader fic I’ve been working on here and there over the last few weeks. 

Now, these are not beta-read, so there may be some mistakes, and some things might change or be added or rearranged, etc. when I do get around to proof-reading the complete fic, but the basic idea of each snippet won’t change from here on to the finished product. 

The general concept behind this fic is what would it take for AK!Riddler to, well, get his shit together? We all know how he started out as a snack -- or more accurately, a damn MEAL:

then became a...well, a hot mess (still adorable, though):

Possibly having someone in his life who actually appreciates him and shows him some affection could get him to clean himself up? Because we all know this boy is most likely touch-starved and would probably cry if someone was actually sweet to him, and he’d probably do whatever he could to be as presentable as possible to keep them around -- anything to keep them from vanishing from his life and leaving him all alone and unwanted again.

Anyway, here are the three (non-beta’d!) snippets from the fic:

Snippet 1:

Initially, Edward told himself it was for his own good. He was Gotham’s one true genius so why shouldn’t he take better care of himself? Cloning was not possible, nor was there any way to transfer the human consciousness into a machine. All of this meant there was only ONE Edward Nigma, and he deserved to look and feel his absolute best. 

Besides, he thought it was yet another way to one-up anyone who opposed him. Yes, of course he could look just as put together as anyone else -- or better. He was superior in every possible way after all.

It had all started with a comment from Selina as she was leaving to take care of the job Edward had assigned to her.

“You know, Eddie,” she said, turning to look at him over her shoulder. “Ladies like men who don’t smell like a car repair shop.”

With that, she was gone and Edward was, at first, not even registering what she had said to him. But it did creep into his thoughts faster than he would have liked, and he analyzed every piece of it. Why would Selina say such a thing? Then again, most people said pointless -- or more accurately, stupid -- things. Normally, he would have disregarded and forgot about it as he went about his work, but it nagged at him like a mathematical equation without a proper solution.

Taking a break from working on some new Riddlerbots, Edward went to the bathroom to locate anything he had on hand to take care of the headache he was currently dealing with. He found a bottle of Aspirin in the medicine cabinet, but when he closed the door, he stared at his reflection for a moment (When was the last time he’d given himself a proper glance in a mirror?)

As Edward took the Aspirin, he remembered Y/N was coming to see him that day -- soon, actually. Perhaps a shower would be a good idea? She would probably appreciate it if he didn’t smell like a car repair shop. And he probably would feel better being clean. Could help him think a little more clearly.

As he showered, Edward told himself this was primarily for his benefit and he wasn’t trying to impress Y/N -- or anyone for that matter. Deep down, though, he knew this was part of something he didn’t quite understand, something dealing with Y/N, something he hadn’t experienced before. That part of him was too afraid at that time to come forth and propose an answer to this dilemma. This was unfamiliar territory, something that wasn’t logical or scientific but emotional and...no, that “strange” part of him needed to stay quiet if he wanted to keep his thoughts together.

This was nothing. Nothing was going on. Everything was normal. And no, Edward didn’t feel relieved when Y/N complimented him on his appearance upon arriving. Taking a shower and putting on nice, clean clothes had nothing to do with gaining her approval. He did it for himself, to give himself a “refresh” before getting back to work. He wasn’t aiming to please or impress anyone, remember? Not even Y/N.

Especially not Y/N.

Or so he thought.

Snippet 2:

Something was different when Edward put someone else before anything of his, namely his work. Had it been anyone else, he’d have tossed a bunch of insults and told them never to bother helping him again. 

However, with Y/N, it was completely different -- and he didn’t even realize it at first.

She was carrying a box of mechanical parts to bring to Edward to aid in constructing new robots, and he had warned her to be careful, to not overload the box or it would be too heavy for her. While carrying the box of gears, wires, and metal bits, she tripped over her own feet and fell forward. The box toppled over onto the floor, spilling the contents everywhere, and she collapsed on her left forearm and knee.

“I told you to be careful!” Edward growled as he rushed over.

“I’m sorry!” Y/N said, pushing herself up and looking at the mess. “I don’t think I broke anything--”

“Let me be the judge of that.”

Y/N fully expected Edward to examine the scattered parts to see if they had sustained any damage but he went right by them. Kneeling down beside her, he gently took her left arm and briefly studied the scratched skin. 

“I don’t think it’s broken,” Edward said as he carefully felt her forearm and elbow. “And your knee….”

“I think it’s ok,” Y/N said as she moved to sit. “It hurts, though.”

Edward placard his hands on Y/N’s left knee, feeling around and noting how she winced several times. 

“Not broken,” he said. “But most certainly will be sore and bruised for a while. Here…let’s get you up.”

Edward let Y/N put an arm around him to steady her as he helped her to stand. Of course, her left knee ached far too much for her to walk on her own, so he continued to guide her to the bathroom.

“I’m sorry about the stuff,” Y/N said, looking and sounding as guilty as she felt.

“Don’t worry about it,” Edward said absent-mindedly as he located some clean bandages and antiseptic cream. “Most of it probably won’t even be needed for what I’m doing now, and I can always acquire more. In fact...I have more in storage.”

Edward turned on the faucet and tested the water until it was comfortably warm, then he gingerly took Y/N’s left arm and began cleaning it with soap. It stung a little but she tolerated it, studying his highly focused expression and wondering if this was even happening? He truly wasn’t upset that she dropped the box of bits and pieces? She just couldn’t wrap her head around it, and doubted that anyone would believe her without proof.

Edward dried Y/N’s arm with a clean towel before tossing it in the trash. After applying some antiseptic cream to a strip of bandage, he proceeded to wrap it around her arm, covering the wound. 

“There…” Edward said, admiring his handiwork. “How does that feel?

“Good,” Y/N said.

“Now for your, uh, knee.” Edward swallowed, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “It...doesn’t appear to be bleeding so...I think we can just put, um, ice on it. Unless you think it needs to be looked at?”

“No, I think it’s fine. Ice is fine. Thank you.”

Edward nodded before clearing his throat and reaching out to Y/N.

“Come,” he said. “Let me help you to the couch.”

Snippet 3:

“Ok, who are you and what did you do with Eddie?” asked Selina as she looked Edward over incredulously.

It appeared that Edward finally got his shit together and was taking care of himself. Not only was he free of grime and grease, he was dressed in rather impressive attire: black dress shirt, green gloves, green trousers, and dark brown boots. Even his hair was cut and styled differently as it was shorter with subtle layering, the offset part causing bangs to fall over most of his forehead and just above his brows. 

Another noteworthy change was Edward’s weight. Instead of surviving on snacks and coffee, he must have been eating actual food again as he was no longer skin and bones. Actually, he looked a little bit...toned? Was he back to his old routine of perfectly planned, ultra-healthy, balanced meals coupled with a decent amount of exercise? Selina remembered he used to get up early in the and exercise almost right away most days of the week. It helped him “get focused” before even having coffee, he had said.

“What are you going on about?” Edward asked in an agitated tone. “Nevermind. It’s nonsense anyway.”

“Personality is still the same,” Selina muttered as she followed Edward to a workbench.

Once he was done explaining in excessive, almost condescending detail the particulars of the items she needed to steal for him, she decided to ask some questions.

“So, tell me, Eddie,” Selina began, turning to him. “What inspired you to finally start looking like a professional criminal mastermind as opposed to an overworked grease monkey?”

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Edward said, before clearing his throat and straightening, a smug smile on his face. “I came to the long overdue conclusion that, as Gotham’s one true genius and Batman’s superior, I should look after myself and be presentable. What’s on the outside should reflect what’s going on inside, so to speak. I mean, what a waste of a brilliant mind such as mine to live in a body akin to a starving, filthy rat scurrying about in the sewers?”

“So you are basically telling me you did this for yourself,” Selina said resisting the urge to roll her eyes at Edward’s narcissistic ramblings. “Are you sure you didn’t do this for any other reason?”

“Like what?” Edward asked, clearly puzzled by such a question.

“Hmm...well, let me ask this: Has Y/N seen your ‘transformed’ self?”

Selina noted how Edward’s blue eyes lit up upon hearing Y/N’s name, and suddenly, his obnoxious personality changed to a much more amiable one.

“She likes it,” Edward said with a bright smile. “Her compliments about my appearance go hand in hand with her compliments about my genius. It’s wonderful having someone around who actually appreciates my existence.”

“I take it that her approval means a lot to you then?”

“Of course! Considering she’s the only person who treats me with respect, I think she deserves the privilege of having me listen to, accept, and sometimes take her advice.”

Selina smirked as she had received the answer to her question.

“Well then, I must be going, Eddie,” she said as she turned to leave. “I’ll get you what you requested in no time.”

“Yes, please do,” Edward said sternly, going back to his arrogant tone. “My request should be of the utmost importance compared to whoever else you’re working with at the moment.”

“Yes, yes, Eddie, of course. Bye!”

#edward nigma #riddler #riddler x reader #edward nigma x reader #riddler x female reader #edward nigma x female reader #the riddler #edward nygma #arkham riddler #arkham knight riddler

[batfam-rewrites]

Batfam During Quarantine: Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Bruce: So I have Dick giving Damian the talk in the next room.

Harper: Is that the best choice. Having the person who has had the most sexual partners explain that to a 14 year old.

Bruce: I thought of that, but then I thought Jason would be very explicit, the rest of you aren’t mature enough...

Tim: What the fuck! I am much more mature than Dick!

Bruce: Hold on! My last point is that he has a giant sweet spot for Damian, so he is going to sugar coat every detail.

Dick: *plays Prince’s I Wanna Be Your Lover*

Bruce: NOOOOO!!!! *runs into the room and drags Dick out by the ear*

Dick: OUCH, OUCH, OUCHIEEE! BRUCE!

Bruce: I thought you could handle this!

Dick: I can, I’m teaching him about the birds and bees while introducing him to one of the greatest artists of all time.

Bruce: NO PRINCE!!!

Dick: FINE!!! *walks back in and plays Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing*

Bruce: DICK!!!!!!

Jason: I’m on it. *pulls out his guns and opens the door* TURN THE MUSIC OFF NOW DICKWAD!!!

____

Jason: *jumps onto his bed*

Dick: *opens Jason’s door* Hey Jason! Want to play Rock Hero with us?

Jason: No Dickwad!

Dick: Kk. See ya! *shuts the door*

Jason: Good riddance.

Harper: *opens the door and walks in* Hey Jason!

Jason: Jesus! Does anyone knock in this house! I could have been fucking naked!

Harper: You know what, never mind! I’ll leave you to whatever you were going to do! *slowly walks away*

Jason: No! No! Not like that!

Harper: Suuuurreee!

Jason: Get your head out of the gutter!

Harper: Hey, I won’t say anything, just lock your door next time! *shuts Jason’s door*

Jason: EVEN IF THAT WAS WHAT WAS HAPPENING IT’S A NATURAL THING!!! EVERYBODY DOES IT!!! *walks over to the door and locks it, then turns on his tv*

Tim: *knocks on the door* Jason, where’s my cape??

Jason: *opens the door slightly* I wouldn’t fucking know! Go away! *slams the door and starts dressing into his Red Hood costume*

Damian: *knocks on the door*

Jason: *opens the door with a box of Reese’s Puffs* What demon seed?

Damian: Give me back my Reese’s Puffs, Todd!!!

Jason: I don’t know what you’re talking about! This is my box! *finished eating the box of cereal and walks through the house towards the study*

Damian: I NEED MY CHOCOLATEY PEANUT BUTTERY CEREAL!!!! GET ME A NEW BOX!!!!!

Jason: You know how to drive, get it yourself! *moves the hands of the grandfather clock and enters the batcave*

Damian: Father won’t let me.

Jason: Boo hoo. What would you ever do. It’s not like you have a brother who will literally do anything if you give him a hug or another one who you could annoy into getting you some. 

Damian: THEY DIDN’T EAT MY REESE’S PUFFS!!!! YOU DID!!!

Jason: You have no proof that I did. *throws the box away* Now piss off! I’m going on patrol! *hops onto his motorcycle and drives to his safe house*

Jason: *opens the door*

Damian: Liar!

Jason: AHHH!!! SON OF A BITCH GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!

Damian: GET ME MY REESE’S PUFFS!!!!!

Jason: FINE!

____

Dick: You know, I wish I had a friend named Jen!

Stephanie: Why?

Dick: So I could make them a Jen and tonic.

Tim: Why’d you ask?

Stephanie: I was expecting a serious answer.

Tim: Dick? Serious? When is he ever serious?

Dick: It’s like a switch, I can turn it on and off!

Tim: Then be serious!

Dick: I don’t wanna!

____

Red Robin: Okay so Dami. There’s this duck.

Robin: WHERE!!! *gasp* Is he supposed to be a secret?

Red Robin: Uhhhh..... sure. I’ll tell you where he’s at later. Anyway, this duck will eventually reach the point where it will learn to fly and see other animals. It’ll see some monkeys, wolfs, bears, snakes, and and so on. Now at some point the duck will want to meet one, or multiple animals, and get....*clears throat* physical with the other animals. In some cases it could be another bird, or the duck might want to get physical with a bird and another animal.

Robin: Oh! I see where you’re going with this!

Red Robin: You do?!

Robin: Yeah! Now let’s go stop some super sick people pinning a free for all match with those animals.

____

Tim: SOMEONE TOOK ACE!!!!!

Stephanie: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!!!!

Damian: I’ll tell you what we are going to do. We’re going to hunt this sucker down and break every single one of his fingers and toes. Then we’re going to CASTRATE HIM, TIE HIS BODY TO A STRETCHING RACK AND STRETCH HIS BODY UNTIL HIS BONES BREAK!!!!!!!!!

Stephanie: Okay, I’m pretty sure what you said was threatening, but with how high pitched your voice gets when you’re angry and how chubby your cheeks are you look like a chipmunk!

Damian: I WILL KILL ANYONE WHO STANDS IN MY WAY!!!

Tim: *on the floor rolling* OMG.... STOP...... IT’S TOO FUNNY!

Later that day

Robin: *kicks the guy who stole Ace in the chest* I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!!!!!!

Thug: *coughs* Who brought a *cough* giant chipmunk to a gun *cough* fight?

____

Blue Bird and Spoiler: *crashes through the top window of the building and takes out a few of Riddler’s henchman*

Riddler: With potent, flowery words speak I, of something common, vulgar, dry; I weave webs of pedantic prose, in effort to befuddle those, who think I while time away, in lofty things, above all day practical I may not be, but life, it seems, is full of me! Who am I?

Spoiler: Assface Dickwad!

Riddler: You all suck!

Blue Bird: And you have the right to remain silent!

Riddler: You’d have to catch me first! *starts running*

____

Dick: Okay, so I just found this new app called 3-D gym men, and is so cool!!! LOOK AT THIS RINGS ROUTINE I JUST MADE!!!!

Duke: Oh no! SOME ONE STOP HIM BEFORE HE TURNS INTO SUPER GYMNAST NERD!

Jason: *tackles Dick*

Dick: OUCH!

Tim: *walks in the room* Hey guys, I just got this gymnastics app and it is so DAMN AMAZING!!!!! THANK YOU FOR THE SUGGESTION DICK!!!!

Stephanie: Oh my god it's contagious!!!!! EVERYBODY LOCK THEM IN A ROOM!!!!!

____

Duke: Where the hell are my eskrima sticks?

Dick: I can’t find mine either.

Cassandra: Anyone seen like 30 batarangs that I had in my room.

Duke: Nope.

Dick: Nada.

Tim: I’ve been missing my cape for a few days now!

Jason: *walks by*

Dick: JASON!!!!

Cassandra: GIVE US BACK OUR STUFF!!!!!

Jason: YOU CAN’T PROVE SHIT!!!!

____

Jason: IT’S TIME FOR THE FIRST EVER BATMAN-OFF!!! PERSON WHO DOES THE BEST BATMAN IMPERSONATION WINS. WITH OUR JUDGES, BRUCE, SELINA, ALFRED, JULIA, AND CULLEN!!!

Stephanie: I’m Batman!

Jason: The judges are writing their scores, and Steph gets a 22. Nice try.

Tim: Criminals, by nature, are a cowardly and superstitious lot.

Jason: And the judges give Tim a 31. Currently in first!!!

Duke: I’m not wearing hockey pads!!

Jason: The judges give a drum roll please! A 29!

Dick: Nope, but be careful Robin. They’re wearing sunglasses at night. Which means they are very, very cool.

Jason: I think I speak for all of us when I say that gets a 0.

Dick: Hey you never said which Batman. I think I should get a 50. That is spot on Batman.

Bruce: Disqualified.

Damian: I thought you’d be younger.

Jason: And Dami gets a 31. Tied.

Cassandra: *drops down from the second floor and lands on the floor* Grrrrrrr.

Selina: And we have a winner!

Bruce: I don’t sound like that!

Alfred: Yes you do!

____

Blue Bird: Hey, my dad is calling. Orphan, you answer the phone.

Orphan: Okay. *answers the phone* Hello, Harper isn’t here right now, would you like me to find her?

Harper’s Dad: Yes, please!

Orphan: Okay, let me put you on hold *sings the Mii channel theme*

Orphan: *taking a breath* Blue Bird, your dad wants to talk to you. *goes back to singing*

Blue Bird: Obviously I can’t. We’re on a stakeout.

Orphan: Okay, *stops singing* I’m sorry for having you on hold for so long. I can not find Harper so I would assume she is currently online with her class! I am sure though she will either call you or text you at your earliest convenience. I mean her earliest convenience.

Harper’s Dad: Okay.

____

Bruce: Okay, so Alfred, you did such a great job with me...

Alfred: Master Bruce, it’s time we had a talk.

Bruce: Yes! I agree, you should give the talk to Damian.

Alfred: No! When you were entering puberty, I was very nervous what to say. I knew that it might have been the last thing on your mind but I knew it was going to come up at some point. So I sat you down and had the talk with you. Now it has come the time for you to do the same to Master Damian.

Bruce: Damn you and your parenthood logic. Should hire a tutor for this crap. *knocks on Damian’s door* Hey, Damian, it’s time we’ve had the talk.

#batfam #Alfred Pennyworth #batman #bruce wayne #catwoman #Selina Kyle #Batwoman #kate kane #julia pennyworth #nightwing #dick grayson #batgirl #barbara gordon #Huntress #helena bertinelli #red hood #Jason Todd #Red Robin #Tim Drake #spoiler dc #Stephanie Brown #blue bird #harper row #orphan #cassandra cain #signal dc #duke thomas #robin #Damian Wayne #cullen row

[anunvalidcritic]

Justice League: Snyder Cut

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

Oh, the time has come my friends! Now, I originally did a review on Batman V.S. Superman and I didn’t care for it, so I deleted it. But before I start, I would like y’all to read this statement made by @verified-villain-fxcker - You can click HERE to read it. As I stated in my repost, I couldn’t have said it better. May Autumn Snyder continue to rest in peace. Let’s get started!

It’s been so long since I’ve made a post I can’t even remember how I do this LOL.

CLARK is outta there to say the least...

WONDER WOMAN and LOIS look flabbergasted, as they should... BRUCE as well.

Talk about a shock-wave scream 

All jokes aside, the hate that LEX has towards SUPERMAN is just to much energy to be giving to another person..

THESE BITCHIES ARE READY

why are they letting a minority approach the fucking the cube?!?!

*insert travel montage scene here*

                      Part 1 - “Don’t count on it, Batman.”

BRUCE knows damn well he’s talking to AQUAMAN. Let’s move this shit along lol

“Oh Gotham? How’s that shit hole?” - AQUAMAN

Ik these bitchies aren’t singing rofl

I’d sniff anything wore by Jason Momoa too.

“Maybe a man who broods in a cave isn’t cut out to be a recruiter.” - ALFRED

TALK YO SHIT ALFRED!!!!

AMY ADAMS can literally take my heart, step on it, throw it in a river and I still wouldn’t be mad. 

Here comes the lovely WONDER WOMAN!

broooo her hands were moving like Donnie Yen in Ip Man!

Fucked that entire ceiling up

Ofc the one who tried to touch it would make the stupid statement. 

STEPPENWOLF is really wildin’ out

Don’t look back! I hate it when they look back!!

These are some strong as women!

                             PART 2 - “The Age of Heroes”

“It’s toxic, that’s good.” - STEPPENWOLF

I can only imagine that this is how toxic people think. 

this dude really just threw that lil demon fella like it was nothin’ lmao

You know you're working at a job for too long when you say this is the first time in a while that they're going home early smdh

Now that shit was pretty lit....

SILAS thinkin’ shit I better check on my son. 

“You know a lot about monsters, don’t you? Especially how to make them.” - CYBORG

If that isn’t teen angst, then I don’t know wtf is lmao

Seeing Gal in this tomb makes me want to re-watch Wonder Woman 1 all over again!

DARKSEID ol’ trifflin’ ass

plopped him down like he was dirty laundry

God bless Willem Dafoe, this man is a fuckin’ legend!

“This world is divided. They’re a primitive species. Unevolved and at war with one another. Too separate to be one.” - STEPPENWOLF

DeSaad kinda looks like Doctor Doom in the Fantasic Four reboot lmao

GREEN LATERNS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!

we really need a Green Lantern Corps moving...

ZEUS + ARES = A Dynamic Duo When They Aren’t Being Dicks To Each Other

You know I feel bad for man because all they did was bury that shit in the ground rofl

                  Part 3 - “Beloved Mother, Beloved Son”

BARRY + IRIS = Love at First Sight 

The burger can’t be that good like damn. 

Bro the detail on his fucking shoes and the glass!!

ROFL PLEASE TELL ME HE TOOK THE HOTDOG FOR HIS DOG!?!? 

damn did the car really need to explode...

lol BARRY must really need the job lol

... I would’ve just played dead after he threw me against that rock...

Man of Steel probably has one of the best soundtracks not just for a superhero movie but just in general

Americans love their football!

I have this love-hate relationship with CYBORG being in the JL and not with the TITANS you know since he’s a kid, but he’s a college student in this one. 

Thank God DIANA spoke with VICTOR instead of BRUCE because I honestly don’t think he would’ve gotten him on board.

Everyone can literally zigzag zoom across this planet at undeniable speed except for BATMAN lol

Come on, VIC, help the lady out.

You know honestly, BARRY has a pretty cool pad for someone who's trying to get by paying for a Criminal Justice Degree. 

“A very attractive Jewish boy. Who drinks milk, I don’t drink milk.” - BARRY

“Fuck the World.” - CYBORG

dang Ik DIANA has every right to grieve over STEVE, but damn that man has her whipped!

“You’re looking at the hottest thing on Earth. The exact same thing I said to my prom date. She dumped me anyway.” - RYAN CHOI

Why does MERA have an accent in this but not in AQUAMAN?? (ik the answer)

DAAAYYUUUMMMN MERA TURNED INTO A WHOLE BLOOD BENDER!

                               PART 4 - “Change Machine”

CYBORG just glided over silently

STEPPENWOLF + WONDER WOMAN = EPIC FIGHT SCENE

Seeing BARRY move like that to stop the debris and to ping DIANA’S sword really is amazing..

But he should not be screaming like that LOL

How do you not remember the planet that’s habitants almost killed you?? Because if that was me, I wouldn’t have forgotten that shit at all!

 Would've held a big ass grudge until I could go back. 

“I know we’re all thinking the same thing right now. Who’s gonna say it? I’m not gonna say it.” - BARRY

WOOOAAHHH J’ONN JONES?! (forgot about that)

 “There are six, not five. There is no us without him.” - BRUCE

Damn, no faith at all 

                        ��PART 5 - “ALL The King’s Horses”

ICONIC DIALOGUE

BARRY - “Wonder Woman. What do you think, man? You think she’d go for a younger guy?”

VICTOR - “She’s 5,000 years old, Barry. Every guy is a younger guy.”

I would’ve kept swippin’ that ID like a cashier at Wal-Mart swippin’ a debit card.

They're movin’ a little too slow for me. Ik they’ve never been on the ship before, but I would’ve been zoomin’ through that entire ship just to hurry and get the job done. 

NOT THE PREGNANCY TEST

Damn, they couldn’t have at least picked up the photo??

The foreshadowing was spectacular! It will always amaze me. 

I’m sure Allstate will cover that person’s car...

Just when LOIS was about to move on. 

CLARK grabbed DIANA like miss me with that Rafiki shit.

I would’ve come back to my senses too after looking at Amy Adams. 

AQUAMAN + THE FLASH = A CONUNDRUM

DR. SILAS takin’ one for the team

                              PART 6 - “Something Darker”

As crazy as radiation is, it’s quite an amazing spectacle.

I wish this Justice League movie could’ve held off until we got some other heroes such as the Green Lanterns, Hawkgirl, and many others. 

Our generation was truly blessed to have an incredible actor as SUPERMAN, and we are not putting him to use!

JONATHAN sounds like President Biden lol

Alright, team?! Break!

AQUAMAN is totally enjoying this fight. He rode that Parademon like a surfboard.

AQUAMAN + CYBORG + FLASH = *THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN*

I swear every scene that WONDER WOMAN enters into does not fail to include the “Ancient Lamentation Music”. 

VICTOR hurry up and say “one” god damnnit!!

SUPERMAN COLD!!!!

Somebody needs to put this fight on WorldStar

BARRY = HE’S A RUNNA HE’S A TRACK STAHHHHARRR!!!

THAT WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

The Unity  = The Three Bitchies

I bet DARKSEID will remember that shit now

                        EPILOGUE - “A Father Twice Over”

VICTOR = A Final Requiem

LOL VULKO and MERA look stressed tf out!

“Uh, I have too much to live for. And more important things to do.” - LEX

A cocky motherfucker LMAO

Alright, we’re back in this type of dream sequence. 

“Who have you ever loved?” - MERA

Uh, bitch his parents, Robin tf?!

Thank you, JOKER, for stating the facts for Ms. Fish-stick

 Oh shit, they let LOIS die, goddamn it!

HARLEY’S DEAD TOO?!?!?!

BRUCE LOOK SICK AF!!!

Well, the dream is over once again...

I just don’t see how people can live with all those fuckin’ windows. 

“Oh, and some have called me The Martian Manhunter.” - J’ONN

Alright...

________

Yes, the movie was long but what needed to be expressed was. As we already the Snyder Cut wasn’t supposed to be seen because a father simply wanted to grieve the death of his child. I’ll once again reiterate what @verified-villain-fxcker you don't have to like the film but at least give it the benefit of the doubt from its predecessor. For me, I did enjoy watching his version, but let’s be honest what he who shall not be named did was just fucked up. 

#RIP Autumn Snyder #Justice League snyder cut #zack snyder #cyborg #the flash #batman #aquaman #superman #Wonder Woman #hbo max #lois lane #amy adams #ray fisher #ezra miller #ben affleck #jason momoa #henry cavill #gal gadot #dcu #dc comics #jk simmons #Alfred Pennyworth #jeremy irons #lex luther #jesse eisenberg #jared leto #the joker #dc

[choco-glow]

Day of the Dead (Robin)

April 27th.

The bed shifted, creaked as Bruce dragged himself up out of the comfort of his way too expensive (and totally worth it) mattress, followed reluctantly by an equally exhausted Selina. He insisted she use the bathroom first, taking that time to rub his face and scalp, forcing himself into an alertness that he didn’t feel…and Bruce ignored his constantly buzzing phone. He could hear Alfred puttering around in his own room down the hall, Damian’s near silent footsteps alongside his dog’s as the youngest Wayne limped down to let Titus out. Tim…Bruce sighed, knowing that Tim one of two places; passed out in the chair in front of the computer down in the cave, or passed out on the couch in the library, his laptop on the floor.

Either way, he was sleeping, most likely, and Bruce was going to take advantage of that.

“Hey.” He glanced up, and the smile on his lips was small, but real; she looked so good leaning against the doorway in nothing but her underwear and one of his old band tees, tousled hair sticking to her forehead from her shower, a sweet smile on her face, those familiar green-blue eyes always so dark in the morning. Bruce dragged himself upright to wrap her up in his arms, hugging her tight, and Selina melted against him, nuzzling his cheek. “Bruce…”

“Thank you for staying…” He murmured, gratitude thick in his voice, and she patted his bicep, popping up on her tiptoes to kiss his nose.

“Of course, sweetheart. Go wash up and get dressed, I’ll head down and help Alfred with breakfast?”

“Selina, you don’t have to…” She shook her head, chuckling, and he chuckled back, ignoring his impulse to just turn away and go brood. Brooding wouldn’t help today…

“I want to. I know what today is…and why it’s so hard.” He ducked his head, swallowing his next word, and she cupped his cheek. “Bruce. I mean it. Jason…” He lifted his head, blue eyes tired but crinkled from a weary smile.

“I miss him.”

“I do too. Go on. We’ll be waiting for you.” He nodded, and after a lingering kiss, despite Cat’s aversion to morning breath, Bruce let her go. The shower was hot enough to wash away some of the pain from his shoulder and upper back, and after washing up, he carefully redressed the bandage on his thigh, then pulled on a pair of old jeans and a tee shirt. It was Saturday, thankfully, so Bruce didn’t have to worry about a suit, and making his way down the stairs, he was glad to see visitors…especially these visitors.

Four years…four years, he’s been gone now. His heart twinged, but Bruce didn’t have to hold up a mask around Dick, who hugged him tight as soon as his first Robin saw him, nor around Barb, who he knelt to hug as well. Steph looked a little lost, a little nervous to be here, and Bruce hugged her too, whispering thanks to her as he’d done to the rest, and if Steph hugged his waist a little harder, her voice a little thick…well, Bruce wasn’t going to tell.

“Father, Alfred the cat is most worried about you.” Bruce paused as he set Steph back on her feet, turning to face Damian, who was holding his purring tuxedo cat and looking concerned…and Bruce couldn’t help the tiny, choked sob, because Damian looked so much like Jason at that age, his whole being focused on “comfort father”.

“So I see. May I hold him?” Damian nodded, and Bruce gently took the cat, smiling as Alfred bumped noses with him and settled on his shoulder, purring deeper still. “Thank you, Damian…”

“This is an auspicious day; we need all the comfort we can receive…” He murmured, and Bruce hugged his youngest tight, tears spilling over now…and Damian hugged him back, clinging to him tight.

“That’s…that’s true…c’mon everyone, we better get into the kitchen before Alfred the butler and Selina yell at us.” He murmured, and Dick chuckled while Barb smiled and took the lead. Damian pulled away from the hug, but not from Bruce, and they walked in hand in hand, taking comfort from one another. Jason’s photo, the last one taken two weeks before he died, was sitting on the counter, as always, with a candle lit…and the new addition of a tin can with the label meticulously soaked off, full of dandelions, and Bruce paused by it, lips twitching up in a fond smile.

“Master Bruce, I hope you don’t mind…I wanted…well…I remember Jason making those bouquets for us when he was a child…” Alfred murmured, and Bruce just pulled him into a hug, tears running hot down his cheeks now.

“I can’t think of a better thing…It’s perfect. Best bunch of flowers that’s ever entered this house.” They all shared a laugh at that, though Selina, Steph, and Damian looked a little confused, and it was Dick who explained, his voice warm and fond as he remembered all the times Jason would prowl the Wayne grounds, plucking dandelions and purple clovers, filling an old coffee can or tin can full to the brim and bringing them back to the house to share, his smile bright and happy.

“…At first, we offered him the flowers from the garden, and Jason just shook his head, looking scared, and said that he got in trouble for pulling those. No one cared about the wildflowers.”

“Oh, what a sweetheart…” Selina breathed, and Bruce and Alfred settled at the table at last, which prompted Dick to pass them the plate of pancakes and motion to fill up.

“He really was…c’mon, let’s eat, best way to remember our boy.”

“Here here! And whatever we do, avoid Buzzfeed today.” Barb raised her OJ in a toast, and Bruce closed his eyes with a sigh.

“God, I hate Buzzfeed…”

“Same here, old man. Same here.”

—-

Six months I’ve been back, and not a Bat to bother me. Jason settled in for a quiet Saturday morning, and ignored cable for a change; he knew what was going to be all over the news today, and he, for one, didn’t want to hear yet another poignant portrayal of his death. At least Bruce wouldn’t be out in public today; he’d learned that from running through the old news stories from the last few years, and frankly, Jason was grateful for it. It…meant that Bruce at least care enough to mourn him. Even if the goddamn Joker is still alive…

He sighed, and pushed away the anger he still felt at that fact, and pulled out his guns, then pulled up YouTube on his TV. He scrolled through his usual recommended list, feeling…restless and a little out of his element; it was the first death day he’d spent back in Gotham, and his normal goofy favorites just…weren’t going to cut it. Then he saw the one video he didn’t expect to see.

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Jason Todd, Wayne or Robin?

A grin split his face.

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

—-

“Welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved. I’m Ryan Bergera, and this is Shane Madej. Today, we are covering the mysterious deaths of two important people in the deadly metropolis that is Gotham City…or are we?”

“Wait, what?”

“Jason Todd Wayne, the adopted son of billionaire Bruce Wayne, and the second Boy Wonder, Robin, both of whom disappeared the same day, April 27th…and have never been heard from again.”

“Ryan, you said it was one murder!”

“And therein lays our mystery, because the more you hear details of the case, the more you wonder if these two boys were really the same person.”

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh…I smell a conspiracy!”

“Shane, you smell lunch.”

“And a conspiracy! C’mon, out with details, gimme something, Bergera.”

“Hold your freakin’ horses, dude, lemme go over things…” Jason watched with unconcealed delight as he disassembled his pistol, cleaning each part as Ryan laid out the admittedly sparse facts of the case; of course, Jason knew the truth, but he was frankly somewhat impressed with the story that Bruce and Alfred had concocted. Of course, they couldn’t say the Joker beat him to death with a crowbar and blew up a building on him ( and even Bruce couldn’t have guessed that Talia al Ghul had stolen his corpse from the morgue, gave them an equally beaten dead kid to bury, and dumped his ass in the Lazarus Pit). But the story of Jason being killed as a hit out on the Wayne family was all too likely.

Batman had a lot of enemies.

Bruce Wayne had a lot more.

“No one was ever charged for Jason’s murder…here’s the last video of the press conference where Bruce explains things.”

“…Jesus, he’s barely keeping it together…I know he’s a billionaire, but he’s got a lot of heart…poor guy…”

“Yeah…I know we tend to fuck around on this channel, but…this kid died. Pretty badly, from what the evidence shows.”

“Man…so, you said there were theories, right?”

“Yeah, and they only get worse from here.”

“Well, we started the program with a dead kid; can’t get any worse than that.” Jason paused the video and just…stared at Bruce’s face, the tears on his cheeks, his exhausted appearance…and sighed a little.

“Sorry Dad…”

—-

“Theory number one: Dick Grayson killed Jason Todd out of jealousy. It was rumored that the brothers didn't get along and Dick and his father didn't have a good relationship when Jason came to the household.” Jason’s eyes narrowed at that one; whoever thought up that crock of shit had another thing coming. Sure, he and Dick had bickered like brothers, but at the end of the day, Dick was his brother from another mother. Even now, even with everything that had happened…Jason missed those hugs something fierce.

“I mean, that’s a pretty cut and dry one…”

“So it would seem…but if you look at the interviews, there’s nothing in Dick’s demeanor that shows any resentment or anger. And both Jason and Dick were orphaned at early ages and adopted by Bruce, so…”

“Yeah, I dunno. It’s cut and dry, but…at the same time, it doesn’t really make sense.”

“Especially given that Dick every year celebrates Jason’s birthday; I mean, killers can be weird, we know that from the last several seasons, but…I dunno. It doesn’t really fit.”

“Probably some asshole detective looking to close it up.”

“Probably…”

“On to number two!”

—-

“Bruce Wayne killed Jason Todd. This was, actually, the first big conspiracy theory to hit the web. Thankfully, it quickly died when people saw just how devastated Bruce was for months after his death, but apparently there are still some trolls on public forums who accuse Bruce Wayne of killing his son.”

“…That’s utter bullshit. Fuckers.”

“Right there with ya, buddy. Right there with ya. Onto three?”

“Please.”

—-

“Jason isn't dead, because of sightings of a homeless boy who wandered all around Crime Alley and looked exactly like Jason Todd. He was completely battered and bruised and suddenly disappeared after a year in the streets, likely due to a trafficking ring.” Jason raised an eyebrow at that, and turned his AK, Shane and Ryan’s incredulousness a comfort. He wasn’t sure why he was still watching this, but…it was kinda nice. Nice to have people be pissed off for his sake.

“Jesus Christ, Gotham, y’all are so dark.”

“May be why their superhero is Batman, dude.”

“STILL. Could this one have some merit, though, since he was an orphan?”

“This one is one of the strongest theories to date, because Jason was from a place called the Narrows, not far from Crime Alley, and according to Wayne Enterprises official documentation in their family museum, Jason had had issues with drugs and abuse, though to what extent, only the family knows. It’s a pretty ugly idea, but…it’s possible.”

“I think I’d rather be dead, Ryan, than go through that.”

“Same. Same…”

—

“Now. We move onto the disappearance of the second Robin, who vanished the same day that Jason Todd supposedly died. Possible theories of the disappearance of the second boy wonder—”

“Ryan. Ryan. Buddy. Champ. Are you implying, really, that Jason and Robin are the same kid?!”

“I’m just reading the script!”

“You wrote the script!”

“…I may be implying that they’re the same, yes.”

“I KNEW IT.”

“You don’t know shit.” Jason started laughing, and paused to get himself a fresh beer, ordering pizza while he was at it. Alright, this wasn’t so bad after all…

—

“He is hiding. Some say he hid from Batman, and some say Batman is hiding him from others. They don't know what, though. Some even say he quit the job.”

“Alright, I’ll bite, who’s ‘some’.”

“Paparazzi, conspiracy theorists, Alex Jones, etc…”

“Ah yes. The enlightened crowd.”

“Pftt…This is the weakest one, so we’ll go ahead and lay out the second theory while we’re at it. The second Robin died. After Robin stopped appearing with batman for an entire year, the same time Jason Todd died. This used to be a widely spread theory, until people realized maybe talking about the death of a boy in a terrorist attack for a conspiracy theory after his father broke down in public isn't the nicest thing to do.”

“And this is your theory.”

“This…is the strongest one I think, and the one that has the most emotional punch. But let’s be real; if the second Robin was indeed Jason Todd, then his Batman HAS to be Bruce Wayne. And c’mon. We’ve all seen the nightmare surrounding THAT theory.”

“Uh, yeah. No thanks, I do not ever need to write another “But the butts don’t match” article ever again in my life.” Jason snorted at that, cracking up laughing, and when he googled “The Butts don’t match”, he had to pause his boys because the ensuing hyena laugh had him flat on his back for ten minutes, absolutely losing his shit.

“Oh Christ, I love the internet…”

—-

“Next theory. He’s a kid, he took a break from vigilante-ing to do something else.”

“Now see, I like this one; that’s like, the most wholesome version. I hope this is the real one, but…”

“I know, man. I know.”

“Sigh.”

“Sigh.”

—-

“Almost there. Some people believe the second and the third Robin are the same, although many people disagree, considering witness reports that they looked very different, and the Robins were very distinctive in their fighting style and personalities.” Jason snorted at that, shoveling a slice of pizza into his gullet, and even the boys were looking a bit annoyed at that theory, Shane more than Ryan.

“Question.”

“Yes?”

“How the hell do they know about fighting styles?!”

“Gotham City Police.”

“Oh. Well, that makes sense now.”

“Also, apparently Commissioner Gordon likes the third Robin more, which tells me they’re definitely not the same.”

“Yeah, if anyone other than Batman would know, he would. What’s next?”

“This one is kinda great, but also a bit outrageous.”

“Ooooh, juicy. Spill the beans, Bergera!”

—-

“Some even believe that the second Robin is now the infamous Red Hood. Gothamites have been known to try to stalk the dude but it's never successful, and supposedly, even the Batfam won’t bother him.”

“I mean, that’s a cool story, but how true is it?”

“Considering the guy wears a red freakin’ helmet with eyeholes and no mouth, who knows how true it is?”

“Still a nicer story than the butts. And hey, Red Hood is pretty chill, man, I think he’s probably the best thing to hit Gotham in years.”

“You’re a Hoodie!”

“The fuck is a ‘Hoodie?”

“Red Hood groupie.”

“Uh, hell no, I just think he’s cool.”

“Uh huh…Well, folks, that ties up our deep dive into the murder of Jason Todd, and the disappearance of the second Robin. To date, this case remains…Unsolved.” As the quiet music that ushered in the ending screen and credits, Jason sat back, working his second slice of pizza, and chuckled a little to himself. If only they knew…well. His people knew who he was; old man Falcone figured it out the second day Jason had been home. The Narrows had welcomed their boy back…And they weren’t gonna tell anyone. They didn’t trust Gothamites, they didn’t trust the Bats…which was why Jason had carved out his place here again, with gunfire and brutal justice. They trusted him.

He turned YouTube over to something mindless, and padded over to the window, feeling the sunshine, weak though it was, break through the clouds and warm his skin. Jason leaned against the familiar brick, and opened the window, letting in a rush of cool air, reminiscent of spring.

It was good to be home.

#deathinthefamily #jason todd #red hood #batman #bruce wayne #selina kyle #damian wayne #dick grayson #barbara gordon #buzzfeed:unsolved #ryan bergera #shane madej #this is feels and crack #why do I write this

[teaandgames]

The Tea Times - June 2020

Well, we’re officially over halfway through the year at this point. I know for many people it feels like we’re dragging ourselves over that point but try and keep your chin up. All bad things must end. In the world of games it’s been a rather packed month, with some high profile releases and some unexpected announcements coming out of the woodwork. Hopefully that’ll tide us over for the second half of the year where things will, hopefully, start to look up.

At A Glance

Valorant, Command & Conquer Remastered Collection, Desperados III, The Last of Us Part II, Summer in Mara and Pokemon Cafe Mix released.

Resident Evil 8: The Village, Crash Bandicoot 4, Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon 2, Pokemon Unite, Pokemon Snap and Lost in Random announced.

Kingdoms of Amalur is getting retooled!

Rumour mill: Far Cry 6 and Batman! 

UK strikes out at loot boxes!

Playstation 5 is revealed!

Cyberpunk 2077 Re-Delayed!

The Releases

My goodness there’s a lot to get through this month. Let’s begin with Valorant, a team shooter developed by Riot Games. Many team shooters have jumped up and been smacked right back down but Riot Games, the League of Legends lads, have some proper grunt behind them. I’ve heard a lot of positive chatter about Valorant, and seen some exciting videos, so there’s every chance. I’m too incompetent for these type of games but if you’re not then it released on PC on the 2nd June.

I’m also too incompetent for Command & Conquer: Remastered Collection but that’s not going to stop me. While it’s not much of a collection, containing only Command & Conquer and Command & Conquer: Red Alert, there’s a lot of love in the package. The retooled art is nice to see, while also preserving the spirit of the original. It’s a heavily nostalgic game and a reminder of when RTS games were about the base building and not screaming at your teammates. If you fancy a trip down a FMV-laden memory lane then it was released on the 5th June.

Desperados III caused some long forgotten light bulb to spark in my head, though I can’t really explain why. It’s a real-time stealth game set, rather unsurprisingly, in the Wild West. Was there much stealth there? My mind has been too corrupted by images of people blind-firing at each other with revolvers. Still, Desperados III seems to have an action element to it as well for when you’re bored of killing people and stashing their bodies. It’s also getting decent reviews too, which is encouraging. If you fancy some rootin’-tootin’ throaty slittin’ then Desperados III came out on Windows, PlayStation 4 and Xbox One on the 16th June.

Summer in Mara is a funny one. It popped up constantly on my Facebook, sending me ad after ad. Normally this would turn me against a game but, in a rare twist, it actually got me pretty excited. It’s a farming game, with an exploring element to it and I am all about that. It also looks gorgeous, in screenshots at least. I actually didn’t realise it was out yet so I will soon be booting up either Steam or my Switch to get on that. I’m ready to waste another hundred hours. It released on the 16th June.

Well now here’s one that’s been doing the controversy circle. Released on the 19th June, The Last of Us Part Two was quickly subjected to review bombing. Possibly because it committed the cardinal sin of acknowledging that the LGBT community exists. Ah well. That nonsense aside, it’s picking up top scores and awards, much like its predecessor. It appears to be heavily story focused though the physics, by the look of it, are top notch too. If you liked the original then give it a whirl. It was released on PlayStation 4 on the 19th June.

Even more unexpected is Pokemon Cafe Mix. Not too much to say about this one, to be honest. It’s a pleasant little puzzle game about serving folks in a cafe, which is staffed by Pokemon wearing adorable outfits. It’s free to play, with microtransactions, and seems like a nice little game to kill a few minutes. It dropped on the Switch on the 23rd June.

The Announcements

It seems like every five minutes, I found another game that had been announced. Not least of all is Resident Evil 8: The Village. If you remember, I adored Resident Evil VII and I hope that the sequel carries on its spirit. It’s certainly in first person and the trailer gives me hope. It also has an old man in a flat cap with a shotgun which always gives me hope. The trailer is absolutely dripping with symbolism too. It should be coming out next year.

Next in line of the unexpected sequels to nostalgic games is Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time, which has a trailer set to The Rockafeller Skank just to maximise that early 2000s nostalgia. As you might expect, it’s about time. That title has its tongue buried deeply in its cheek. It looks like a proper return to form too, with bright colourful graphics and a fresh Cortex plan to ruin. While I never got on that well with the Crash Bandicoot franchise, I know a lot of people will be excited for the return to form. It’ll be out on October 2nd.

Lord, they are cranking out Bloodstained games, aren’t they? Back in 2018, the original Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon came out, which was an old school Castlevania game in all but name. A companion game, Ritual of the Night, made things 2.5D. Now however, we’re back to Curse of the Moon with Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon 2. It looks like it keeps the old school Castlevania art style, which is nice to see. If you’re in the mood for an older flavour of game, Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon 2 will be out on the 10th July.

The second controversy on this list is a new Pokemon game, Pokemon Unite. In this case, the ire may well be justified. Pokemon Unite is a MOBA, of all the bloody things, which is a bit of an odd move. It’s a pretty heavily saturated genre, full of big names, and I don’t honestly know how much market Nintendo will be able to carve out of that. Add in the fact that it has a definite connection to Chinese company Tencent (which doesn’t have the best reputation) and it goes some way to explaining the mountain of dislikes the video has gotten. Ah well. A release date has yet to be announced. 

What is much more up my street is Pokemon Snap for the Nintendo Switch. The original was one of the highlights of my emulation days. Basically, you ride on a little cart through the world of Pokemon, taking pictures of them in their natural habitat. Then Oak looks through them and reveals how weak of a photographer you are. It’s not a game for everyone but if you always wanted to see Pokemon frolic around like normal animals then Pokemon Snap is your game. No release date yet, though.

Still not too sure about Lost in Random to be honest. I think I just like me some dice games. It’s set in a fairly dark world where people’s fates are decided by a roll of the dice, but it also has something of an upbeat tone in the vein of Tim Burton. It’s an action-adventure game, with some pretty heavy looking combat, set in a gothic fantasy world and all of those are good things. If you like the sound of it, then Lost in Random will be out next year.

Kingdoms of Amalur: Re-Reckoning

Well this is one I wasn’t expecting. I did a whole piece about how the intellectual property had been handed around like a game of hot potato, even landing in the hands of the state of Rhode Island at one point. THQ acquired the property rights in the end and they’ve now announced that they are giving it a fresh coat of paint, which is being handled by the folks at Kaiko, who did the Darksiders remasters. So it should be fairly decent.

What confuses me is that the things they are working on are the graphics and the gameplay. The two things that Kingdoms of Amalur didn’t really suffer from. The game always looked pretty gorgeous, to be honest. It captured the spirit of a fantasy forest nicely. I never looked at it and thought, damn this needs retooling. Same with the gameplay really. It wasn’t anything amazing but it wasn’t screaming for a remaster.

Honestly, Kingdoms of Amalur’s biggest flaw was from the core design. The huge open levels with bugger all in it, quests that didn’t really do anything interesting and long lore dumps that put you to sleep. That’s not really going to change if you’re just doing surface level stuff. Still, we don’t know for sure what they’re changing so you never know. The remastered version should be out in August.

The Rumour Mill - Exotic Locales And Batman

The first of our rumours this month revolves around Far Cry 6. The latest entry Far Cry 5 was set in North America and revolves around a cult, which probably hits a little too close to home for some people. If that’s not your bag then you’ll be pleased to know that Far Cry 6 will be set somewhere more exotic. No exact details at the moment but I imagine there will be sunshine and clear waters. It’s also supposedly due to be released before April next year, COVID19 depending. If the rumour is true, we’ll hear more about this on July 12th.

For those more interested in the caped crusader then you may be interested to know that there’s a good chance of Warner Bros. announcing two Batman games in August this year. This rumour is fuelled by the fact that two domains have been registered. They point towards two titles, ‘Gotham Knights’ and ‘Suicide Squad’. The second one is more obvious and probably inevitable, given that we’ve had a whole film about them. Not sure about Gotham Knights though. We should hopefully have more info at DC’s fandome event on the 22nd August.

UK Says Loot Boxes Are Not OK

Following on from the example of companies like Belgium, UK ministers are asking for a review of evidence with regards to Loot Boxes in games. The issue comes from the definition of Loot Boxes as gambling. It’s not an unreasonable definition, as it encourages people to put in a varying amount of money for the chance at getting something rare and exciting. Everybody wins, of course, but most of the time it’s basic stuff that entices you to try again. Sounds like gambling to me.

People aren’t too happy with advertising gambling to under 18s so this decision has a lot of weight to it. If Loot Boxes are declared to be gambling, then games will be required to remove them or change them up so they can be sold to under 18s. They may even remove the games entirely. How enforceable that will be remains to be seen but it will likely make it harder for multiplayer games to be marketed in the UK. Not a happy thing but we’ll have to wait and see what the evidence says.

The Sleek, Sexy… Router?

Well here’s an interesting one.  Sony released their first images of the PlayStation 5 design this month and people are already disagreeing with it. I can see why. It’s a very sleek, futuristic design. Minimalist white and grey in an obelisk like shape. I’m in two minds about it myself. On the one hand, it’s quite sleek and attractive. It doesn’t look like a ‘console’ which I think is a good thing. It looks memorable.

On the other hand it looks like a wireless router. You’ll have to make your own mind up on this one.

Re-delayed

Just a quick one to end on. CD PROJEKT RED are fully committing to making sure Cyberpunk 2077 is ready to go. To that end, it’s been delayed back to November 19th. They’ve been fully transparent as to why as well, which is refreshing. Essentially, while it’s good to go content-wise, they need extra time to go through everything and iron out those bugs. A good reason, as reasons go.

They did however release some new gameplay trailers to keep people going, so make sure to check those out to remind yourself why it’s worth waiting until November! That’s all for June, see you in July!

#Valorant #Command & Conquer #Desperados III #The Last of Us Part II #Summer in Mara #Pokemon Cafe Mix #Resident Evil 8 #Resident Evil The village #Crash Bandicoot 4 #Bloodstained Curse of the Moon 2 #Pokemon Unite #Pokemon Snap #Lost in Random #Kingdoms of Amalur #Far Cry 6 #Batman #PlayStation 5 #Cyberpunk 2077 #Gaming #Video Games #Tea And Video Games #Column #The Tea Times

[suspiriu-m]

About Me

Hello! My name is Sal and welcome to my blog, Suspirium! Suspirium is a word that originates from one of my favorite movies, Luca Guadagnino’s 2019 remake of Dario Argento’s classic italian horror movie Suspiria. According to World of Dictionary, Suspirium is a Latin word meaning “Deep breath, sigh”. It’s also the title of one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack to the movie produced by Thom Yorke of Radiohead. I’m a huge horror movie buff so expect to see a lot of that sort of content on my blog if I can incorporate it into any of my work. I chose this as the title of my blog because of how well the word fits into the movie, and I just love the way it sounds. Anybody who’s watched the movie will understand, but I won’t go into detail as to not spoil it for anybody who hasn’t yet seen it.

Throughout my highschool years I technically went to two schools. My main and home school was Middletown High School, and my secondary school was Orange Ulster Boces in Florida New York. In high school I was always in media production and art classes. For example, photography, video editing, drawing & painting classes and my favorite was an Elements of Horror class I took my senior year. Horror being my favorite genre, I absolutely had to take a class that’s dove into the origins of classic horror novels, films and short stories. Leading to me finding my favorite classic horror story Dracula by Bram Stoker, and a multitude of stories by H.P. Lovecraft. Continuing on now to college i’m now majoring in Media Production while also still taking some classes in Marketing and Design! I really enjoy both a lot so it’s hard to kind of pick exactly which I want to do, but it’s nice knowing that no matter what path I finally choose I'll still have some experience in the other!

Aside from my education, I love to watch horror movies and read stories in my own free time. Movies in general are a huge hobby of mine and I watch at least 3-4 a week given I have the time. Some of my favaroties of all time concerning classics have got to be the Halloween series, The Evil Dead series and all four of the Scream movies. Other hobbies of mine that take up a huge part of my life and time are video games and music. I have a pretty big record collection that’s continuously growing with at least 80-90 albums and counting. I just recently purchased a few more to add being Sade’s Diamond Life, Whitney Houston’s Whitney and Whitney Houston albums, Lazaretto by Jack White, Texas Sun by Khruangbin & Leon Bridges and Petals for Armor by Hayley Williams. Hopefully my next additions will be What’s Your Pleasure? by Jessie Ware and The Baby by Samia. I’ve been collecting them for years, but especially now since even CD’s are starting to go out of style. I’m the kind of person who still likes to have physical copies of all my music and movies and games so having such big collection is super special to me.

In terms of video games, I try and play as wide of a variety that I can because I believe I can find something I like in any genre. Strategy, shooters, brawlers, online competitive games etc, but I think my favorite style of game is single-player, narrative driven experiences. Most recently I played The Last of Us Part II and was absolutely enthralled with it. I loved the first game so much so getting a sequel was something I was extremely grateful for. I don’t think video games get enough credit for what they do for storytelling. TLOU 1 and 2 are some of my favorite stories that I have experienced in any form of media. The heartbreak, pain, love, fear and excitement those games have succeeded in giving me while just sitting in front of my TV is something no other form of entertainment has brought me. Some of the most touching moments, but also the most excruciating. They also had a queer women front and center throughout the games which is something that isn’t very common in video games so seeing that was really nice to me. Other than The Last of Us, some other solid narrative driven games I’ve played are God of War, Uncharted 1-4, Marvel’s Spider-Man, The Tomb Raider Reboots, Ghost of Tsushima, the Batman Arkham series and Control.

Although story based games are my favorites that doesn’t mean I don’t have a place in my heart for some good old fashioned fun as well! I also really enjoy a lot of the Super Mario and Legend of Zelda games as well. My biggest pet peeve that I have with the gaming industry right now though is Fortnite. I think it’s literally the most annoying game ever created. People spend hundreds and thousands of dollars just to buy skins and weapon packs and I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. The fact that I work at a major video game retailer and constantly have kids running through my store screaming about the damn game at least once a day could also contribute to my hatred. Either way, I want no part and absolutely nothing to do with it.

Going back to queer representation though. I recently watched Pose over the summer. Not only was the show heavily based during the AIDS epidemic in New York City, almost the entirety of the main cast was comprised of Transgender Black women. On prime time television! This is the first show to ever achieve such a feat. Not only was the cast extremely talented, I thought the writing and production of the show as a whole was brilliant. It definitely has its flaws and I could point out a few of them, but I believe all of the good of the show far outweighs the bad. It’s not afraid to tackle extremely real and difficult subjects the Transgender and Black communities have faced in this country and all over the world. It’s so important to see content like this on television as well because EVERYBODY deserves representation. Not only was the cast Trans, but one of the lead writers of the series Janet Mock is also a Black Trans woman! Pose was filled with heartfelt moments that truly had me sobbing in my bed as I watched. I think I actually cried at pretty much every single episode for both seasons. The cast is brilliant, the realism and talent and star power they bring to the show is like nothing that I’ve ever seen before and I’m so glad to be able to see them up on my television. I so badly one day hope that I can be behind the scenes of producing a show of this caliber some day.

While I have yet to help in the production of a show like this, I have had my fair share of of making short films, music videos and even assisting on a friend of mine’s first full length movie that he submitted to festivals. Last year, I had the opportunity to shoot a short horror film with my classmates for our final project. The film was based around a young woman getting trapped at her school in the middle of a blizzard, and slowly beginning to realize that she may not be alone. In a fight for her life, she has to survive till morning while going up against a mysterious killer who lurks the halls of her small town college. Sadly, we didn’t have enough time to produce a full and finalized cut of the film but coming together and working with a few other classmates was still a really fun experience. Not only was I able to play the role of the killer, I aided in audio, music selection, location scouting, props department, shot planning and writing the movie and it was a great time. I also had the pleasure of helping out my friend Matt Vincini in shooting his short film The Cattle Farmer. A horror/thriller film about a boy who is adopted into a family, only to realize that his life might have been planned from the start. It featured a mysterious woodland family who may or may not have had cannibalistic tendencies that included their adopted children. It was a super cool experience to be on a set with a bunch of actors and seeing my friend in action in the role of director. Collaborating on projects like this with friends is always a fun time, even it does get stressful at some points. At one point in the film, one of the characters realizes that the dinner he is currently eating could quite possible be his last meal ever. Which kinda let me to thinking what my last meal would be. After some thinking, I think i’d definitely have to choose my families homemade pasta and meatballs. I know, pretty stereotypical for an Italian family but it’s just so good. We make our own sauce every september and it’s a huge family event. Everybody comes together and one of our houses and it’s literally a whole days worth of work. The best part? At the end of the night, we all have a huge feast and make pasta and meatballs with all of the sauce we just made. It’s one of my favorite things to do with my family and always one of my favorite meals. Not only is it delicious, but also sentimental.

This is all for now! Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading a little bit about me. I could probably keep rambling on for hours but I don’t think that’s the smartest idea. I can’t wait to fill this blog with more content this year and hope to hear from you guys as well! Until then, i’ll be watching more movies and DEFINITELY playing some more games. At this point i’ve been playing the new Marvel’s Avengers video game so, let me get back to kicking some AIM ass!

[dorizardthewizard]

TLNM musings, part 2

Okay, here I ramble about problems with the movie. Ended up adding more stuff since I first wrote this :’P

Screentime and characterisation of the other ninja:

One of the biggest complaints from fans... they're all introduced individually with very different personalities, they’re told they each have a special element they control, making you feel like they should each get some moment to shine and affect the plot of the movie, but then none of that happens. Ultimately you could take out all the ninja and the story would be the same, you don't even necessarily need them for Lloyd's character since his journey of reconnecting with his father and bringing his family together can still work without them. It's so sad because if you read and watch extra material, you can tell thought went into their personalities, but we never get to see this as they're all just lumped together, mostly there to support Lloyd's development.

For someone who hasn't seen the show, it must feel a bit off seeing characters with distinguished personalities and no payoff for it; take Zane for example. Imagine not knowing anything about the characters and seeing one of them is a robot, for some reason? You wonder why he's a robot, what significance that has for the plot and why it's important for his character (I mean they missed a big opportunity to develop Zane from always trying to fit in and seem like a “normal teenager” to accepting that he's different but that that doesn't mean he's less valid), but then this really specific characteristic is never expanded on except for comedy purposes. People probably thought “oh, guess it makes more sense in the show”, but this just detaches viewers and makes them feel like they're missing something if they haven't seen the show beforehand.

Sigh, still gotta give the crew credit for fitting in a load of little subtle details about the ninja, I had to rewatch it a couple of times because there were things I didn’t notice at first, like Kai sliding down a bannister in the Temple of Fragile Foundations and falling off :’D

Group dynamic:

Another thing that bothered me is that the movie isn't that good at making you care about them as a team. They're already established as friends but I wish there were more material showing us how much they care about each other. The Kai hug scene was 10/10 but then when Chen and the other cheerleaders started picking on Lloyd, nobody said or did anything? In merchandise it said Kai is a hothead who isn't afraid to speak up or stand up to people, then show it in the movie! Him and Nya should have been on the verge of tackling that guy to the floor! Ok, I can see Lloyd asking them not to get into fights as it makes people hate him even more and he probably feels guilty if one of the ninja gets into trouble because of him. This would still have given more emotional connection between the characters but we're never shown it, except in the novelisation where Cole tries to block Lloyd from his locker so he doesn't see the insult written on it, I think. But again, we shouldn't have to read/ watch extra material for that.

Instead of moments showcasing the ninja’s friendship and close bonds, we got the opposite- everyone turned on Lloyd incredibly quickly for one mistake. Sure, it was a pretty big one and resulted in Garmadon taking over the city and their mechs being wrecked, but Lloyd was the only one doing anything about Garmadon at the time and he didn't exactly know what the consequences of using the ultimate weapon were; it's not like he knew it could potentially hurt his friends. In fact, how did the ninja know he used it anyway? That would mean they already knew about it and what it could do, yet Lloyd was not told? In which case, how can they blame him?? Damn it Wu, why couldn't you just tell Lloyd that using the weapon would unleash a cat that could destroy the city, instead of vaguely saying the weapon can be dangerous in the wrong hands. That's taking too many pages from TV Wu's book!

Honestly, it's like the ninja were just one character either shunning Lloyd or supporting him, depending on what the plot needed :/ That scene where they're talking with Garmadon while carrying him through the jungle really rubbed me the wrong way because first, no one seemed to care that Lloyd is so snippy because he's been forced to work with the man who made his life hell, and second they joke about Lloyd with that very same person and imply they don't respect Lloyd as leader, as Jay says he doesn't usually want to listen to him when he's talking? What??

 Lloyd and Garmadon’s relationship:

I mentioned this in part 1, but they really didn’t execute this well- I feel like they had so much fun playing up Garmadon being the worst dad in the world that they forgot to give him redeemable qualities. It took me a second viewing to realise his relationship with Lloyd was actually pretty messed up, because they played off his despicableness as comedic and glossed over it by suddenly giving him a flashback to make it seem like he’s sorry. They wanted to go for the father-and-son-have-issues-but-reconnect story, and had Lloyd say “I wish we didn’t have to fight all the time” in his emotional ending, but that’s a line usually present in a daddy-issue story where both have a part to blame and there's issues with communication. In this, though? Lloyd did nothing wrong! It was just Garmadon being trash, and there wasn't even a particular scene of him recognising and apologising for his actions- not the bit about driving Misako away, but how he treated Lloyd after.

The message is all mucked up - hoping to find some good in neglectful parents is just gonna get you hurt, and in a story like this it would make more sense for the protagonist to realise they don't need validation from this guy, shouldn't feel like they have to keep connected with toxic relatives just because they're family, and that they should focus on the friends and family who actually love them (although, whether Lloyd's friends were even portrayed as liking him is a different story). I mean, Koko could just teach him to throw and catch! Does he have to have two parents just for that?

 Tone and humour:

I think another main reason this movie didn't do as well was its more childish tone and dialogue; unlike the previous two movies, it was marketed at younger children. One of the main reasons TLM and LB were so successful is because of the self-aware jokes that could actually be enjoyed by adults too, while in this movie I may have properly laughed only a couple of times. Plus, in its effort to connect with kid's humour it just got cringy in some parts, like the Ultimate Weapon compilation. It would have been funny if it was ironic, like Amazing World of Gumball style, but it just didn't come across like that, so I can see why many jokes fell flat for older audiences.

People probably had different expectations for the overall tone as well- everyone loved the previous LEGO movies because of their constant barrage of action, witty jokes and a ton of references. This was never the selling point of Ninjago, but TLNM didn’t manage to capture the show’s dramatic style and deep lore-driven plot either.

The writers:

Okay last thing. This movie had three directors, six producers, six screenwriters and seven people working on the story. Compared to most animated movies, that's a lot, and its shows. It feels like they had a few different ideas and themes and couldn't quite patch them together, with vague messages like “looking at things from a different point of view” being thrown in as well to try and link it up. I guess at the end of the day, this is a father-son story, and that makes it very difficult to fit in a power-of-friendship plot at the same time, but still. Also, the shifting plot and ideas is really clear in the trailers, I mean half the stuff there wasn't even in the movie, it's as if the entire story was changed!

 Final verdict? I think an overall theme with this movie is that the writers wanted to overhaul Ninjago to introduce it to new viewers, but also wanted to keep the fans happy so shoehorned in lots of elements from the show without giving them enough development. This just disappoints fans and alienates general audiences, which is a problem since Ninjago doesn’t have a huge following already backing it up like LEGO Batman did, and could have been the pilot for more original LEGO lines making it to the big screen. It was a technically amazing movie, with beautiful animation and visuals, an epic soundtrack and stunning voice acting, but it was also such a waste of potential.

 The only other thing we can do is think about how it could have gone differently, so here's some of my ideas :'D

NOT using the deleted time travel plot. I know that after being disappointed in a movie you welcome any alternative, but giant mechs were already a big deviation from the ninja theme; flinging in time travel as well would be too much for non-show watchers. Plus, I thought we were all complaining about how time travel in Ninjago always just messes things up :'P

Also not following the show closer. We have over 10 seasons of the show, the whole point of a movie is giving a fresh take; using a giant snake or the Overlord possessing Garmadon again would just be boring.

Delete the first act? One of the best parts of the secret high school heroes trope is seeing how they juggle both lives, if you're gonna drop it after half an hour there's not much point of it being there.

Could instead just have Garmadon attacking again, the last invasion attempt being ages ago. Maybe the ninja rediscover a rich history of elemental masters protecting Ninjago when Wu decides to get a new team together to fight the new threat?

Make it about learning master building instead so they build their mechs at the end, and then gain elements in a sequel?

Or don't mention anything about elements and have every ninja individually go through an obstacle to obtain an elemental weapon, then they all lose them but don't know they're not necessary, so it's actually a surprise that the power is inside them? Everyone gets a sort of true potential moment?

Ninja having to warm up to Garmadon's son, so we have a plot of Lloyd slowly gaining their respect and becoming leader?

Higher stakes at the end, make the Shark Army more threatening and have them turn on Garmadon using Meowthra, so there's still an intense climax of the ninja fighting the army before Lloyd reaches Meowthra and gets his emotional ending?

Get rid of the live action sequence, or make it fit the message of the story more?

Feel free to add any ideas/ thoughts!

#ninjago #ninjago movie #lego ninjago movie #RIP lego cinematic universe v_v #my posts

[ithinkthingsaboutstuff]

What is with Birds of Prey criticism?

i have seen BOP 

and i have read comments and review’s from different people (male and female) and i have decided to throughout my observations into the void. 

now personal taste is personal taste and everyone is allowed to like or not like whatever they want. 

but i will be looking at this from a ‘structured’ pov so i will be breaking the movie down into what others have got to say about it.

and with that in mind i will be taking things out of context but i will be summarising and linking to the sources when possible.  

i will be looking at how people have persevere them (again male and female) and why this might be so (but i will say now that it is only my best guess, and i will try to be as fair as possible)

and i will also add i have only seen the movie once at this point so i may miss some things or misremember others 

so from here on out we this will be nothing but 

------------------------------------------SPOILERS-----------------------------------------

ok so with that out of the way. 

PLOT 

the plot is basically 

Harley and the joker have broken up (joker, dumped her) 

this makes Harley lose her immunity in Gotham as she was protected by the fact she was the jokers girlfriend.

black mask is one of these people and is one of the most powerful in Gotham.

but he needs a diamond (that belongs to Helena) to be the most powerful in the city,

but when Zsasz and Black canary, get it take off them by a street girl (Cass) 

Harley says she will get it back to square herself with mask and he will protected her afterwards 

(there is also a b plot with Helena going around kill everyone who was involved with the death of her family)  

things happen 

and they all end up fight Black Mask men in a amusement park 

and Harley kills him on a dock.

then they all part ways.

now this is an oversimplification. 

but that does allow the movie to explore the characters and their relationship's with the world and the story.

but over all an average plot but no so more them say 

-the avengers (2012)

-thor (2011)

-age of ultron (2015)

-spider-man homecoming (2017)

and so on.

Criticisms

this is what one critic had to say about the movie

review from  Mick LaSalle

“but no, even that makes things sound better than they are. There’s no character there at all. There’s a look. There’s an attitude, and there’s an assemblage of mannerisms, but these are all veneers surrounding a vacuum.”  

“None of them suggest a personality, beyond some generalized zaniness.”

now i am no expert but is having a look, an attitude and mannerisms all things that make up someone’s personality? 

i can see if he was trying to say she has not much to add to the overall story or if it over shadowed everything in the movie, for sake of being “zany”   

but it was integrated into the movies narrative as a the main story telling tool,

e.g. Harley’s narration and the cartoons/ animation that came with. those where there to add character to the movie through Harley’s, so basically Harley’s personality is the films personality. 

and this is what he had to say about the plot

“If she wanted the Joker back, that would be something. That could be a movie. If she wanted revenge, that would be a weak motive, but it would still be something.”

now this has some interesting connotations,

what he was trying to say with this sentiment is only something i can guess, but i will want to give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was asking for a story similar to ‘mad love’  from the s4 of the Batman new adventures.

looking more at the sickness of that relationship (that some people admired and fawned over in suicide squad) so if that is the case then its not a bad thought,

however the way it is phrased makes it sound like more like Harley needs the Joker to be major part of the story for it to be any good. 

but Harley has had comic’s for year’s that prove the opposite.

now to compare this what he had to say about the Joker (2019)

“What’s terrifying and brilliant about Phoenix’s Joker is that he seems to be operating from an intricate yet alien form of logic. There is very little common ground between the character and the viewer, no shared understanding of right and wrong, real or unreal. He erupts into laughter without warning — a terrifying, piercing laugh that he can’t control. He sits in the audience at a comedy club, joyously and maniacally laughing at setups, not punch lines.”

now i am not saying Joker is a bad movie, I am just saying that he complained about the lack of story and character in one film and praised it in another.  

now i also understand that these films are different, and they have different tones and messages. and ever genre (one is action, the other is drama)

but basically

he is saying Joker’s lack of clear “personality” made the movie good and Harley’s made it bad (again this is apples and oranges, and way to simple)  

but the main point is that he has failed to look for WHY Harley is that way, or how that adds to the movie like he did for Joker.

now moving on to

Anthony Lane

“ No one could call Harley Quinn a recluse. She loves to go out, get wasted, meet people, and fight them. In onscreen graphics, she proudly reports what it is about her that vexes her opponents. (“Voted for Bernie.” “Have a vagina.”) Yet Harley is often alone in the frame—marching toward the camera in her T-shirt and shorts, smiling madly through lips of fire-engine red, and peppering us with unceasing chatter, as if words were buckshot. She lives on her own, too, with a stuffed beaver in a tutu and a pet hyena named Bruce. (As with the title, note the surfeit of nuttiness. Rarely have I seen a movie strain so hard to seem out-there.) Our heroine needs some kindred spirits, and quick.”

ok benefit of the doubt this is just a colourful way to describe the movie and Harley’s set up,

however with the next paragraph that follows i don’t think so

“No surprise, then, that Yan’s movie, peopled as it is by women who talk among themselves, with only fitful reference to men, doesn’t so much pass the Bechdel Test as ace it, while also ticking the profanity box, the ear-splitting box, and the bone-snapping box—every box, in fact, except for the tricky one that requires a motion picture to be good”

the strange thing is that he was so close to an epiphany

yes Harley is social but she is lonely that is the point of her being with the BOP, taking in Cassie.

and saying someone who is social is not able to be lonely is the dumbest thing i have ever heard.

and i can name dozens of movies off the top of my head that is a group of guys ‘talking among themselves, with only fitful reference to women’

like 

-  the hang over (1,2 and 3)

- die hard

- pulp fiction 

- fast and furious (all 9 of them)

- the other guys

- Sherlock (RDJ movies)

- the dark night 

- scarface

-  any Adam Sandler movie for the last 20 years

-memento

- rush hour (all 3)

- fight club 

like damn dude your getting all bent out of shape for women having the nerve to want to tell story’s about other women.

(and i would also like to point out that very on in the movie was a ‘bad guy’ or did bad things all throughout the film and the men are just what they are up against you know like some kind of antagonist??? fucking wild idea right, and as we all know every female villain in movies are always written with respect and dignity, can you feel my sarcasm)

and this is what this man also said about ‘ford vs ferrari’   

“Ford v Ferrari” is directed by James Mangold, and it may be his strongest film.

like dude you are showing your hand here.

but i am not wasting any more time on this dude.

 let us move on to the lady’s

MOLLY FREEMAN

“the movie ultimately embodies different kinds of liberation - not only of women breaking free from their abusive boyfriends, psychotic employers and the restrictive boy's club, but also the freedom and power that comes with finding a group where they feel accepted and supported.”\

“Cathy Yan's directing and vision for the film, which is realized in the action, costumes and music. The fighting sequences are absolutely brutal and choreographed in a way to showcase the characters' respective abilities. Harley's gymnast moves make a return, and when she gets her hands on a bat, the Cupid of Crime really lets loose - and it'll leave audiences breathless with exhilaration. Birds of Prey stands out because it's uniquely female, from the characters' fighting styles down to the details of Harley pausing mid-fight to give her friend a hair tie. This further extends to the costumes, designed by Erin Benach (A Star Is Born), which are exquisite and perfectly showcase each character's personality.”

Susana Polo

“Each character’s storyline is given a slightly different genre and tone, as well, one of a number of tactics the production employs to mimic Harley’s manic internal life. Huntress stalks around Birds of Prey like it’s a Kill Bill-esque revenge epic, while Renee Montoya is in a hard-boiled cop flick. The main heroine ensemble actors all breathe a wonderful amount of life into little-known characters overdue for mainstream attention.”

“Winstead delivers a comedic twist on the Huntress’s classic personality that I hope makes its way to comics as soon as possible, and the 13-year-old Basco deserves particular credit for holding her own alongside Robbie in their many scenes together. Robbie’s Harley Quinn is just as scene-stealing as she was in Suicide Squad, appearing to operate on at least 20 percent cartoon logic at all times — a useful skill for an occasionally fourth-wall-breaking narrator. Cartoon-channeling is also a useful skill for the star of a movie with such splendid fight scenes.”

 now i am not saying every man hates the movie, and every woman loved it that is insane and dumb.

but what does seem to be a common theme is that positive or negative, men and women are looking at different aspects of the movie 

women look at the movie on its own terms and men seem to look by comparing it to other “guy movies” 

now this a generalisation but this is a common idea that seems to run through it.

and here is some general thoughts from some people who have made comments, online.

female 

“I am sick and tired of being told what movies I need to like as a woman, this is a bad movie. It isn't a zero nor is it a ten and anyone rating it that way isn't being honest either with you or themselves. The storytelling is odd and the flashbacks are weirdly placed to the point where they take you out of the movie. This movie has too much exposition and then not enough which I congrats I guess. I don't think men are rating this film low because they are "man babies" I think they are rating it low because there are far better superhero and anti-hero movies out there to choose from.”

this is based on personal taste and why it didn’t sit right with them (and that’s fine)

male

“A rush movie without any type of storyline and God knows where they are heading with DCEU and it's characters..It's only Harley and Harley who has never been in BOP in comics...Mis usage of characters and movie..Just make a decision where do you wanna go with your movies”

now this interesting, when this people has the same feels as the person above 

they don’t look to the movie itself they look to find out evidence to discredit instead of anything in the film itself.

again i am not saying this person is wrong to feel this way i simply think the method of expressing it, is interesting.      

(and for the record this is actually an incorrect statement Harley and Poison Ivy have been apart of the team at different points) 

male

“The girls looked terrible like they were going Break-Dancing or something and Harley Quinn was dressed up like a Bird with makeup?? The ending was ridiculously stupid and predictable and the misogynist male pig attitudes towards the females in the film were jaw dropping cringe moments, like who acts like that??”

now this is about appearance, and the male characters, now this is showing that men see a violent, man who literally gets someone to cut a MAN’s face off  

and the only thing they focus on is that ‘oh he is mean to women damn SJW’s’

that is the weird’s thing? like you the bad guy is bad to the hero’s? shocking.

now i am not saying that the character is perfect and well crafted like loki or kilmonger but he serviced the purpose he was meant to, he was powerful intimidating and unpredictable.

(and black mask has always been a nut case)  

but i also think its interesting that these men who cry about SJW’s and how they mock men (and that does sometimes happen, it would be dumb to say they didn’t) 

never seem to mind that that women get called bitch’s and whores in every other movie.or that women are used shallow props to move the movie along. 

almost like it is distressing when you see someone you can identify with is treated like the peace of garbage. 

female

“The Film was decent enough for a lowkey Friday night out with the girls. Nothing you'd rant & rave about or even remember seeing in a few months but it was entertaining in places. The script felt a little bit underbaked & the story itself felt a bit disjointed. The direction of the film was lacking for me. In a world where Todd Phillips pulled off Joker (2019) this seems like a more rushed project that would've been better at Netflix or even Amazon Prime for release. I think the deserve another crack at this movie & another attempt at something with a bit more substance”

honest to the point and is looking at the movie on its own term's

notice how she does not need to devalue other women to get this across, not the character’s, not the write or director but was looking at it from a personal taste and rewatchablity,

the anger about this movie is so strange 

like how many hero movies have been worse then this and was not taking very chance they get to bash the creators and that they should not do their job’s because the movie had women as most of the cast and was mainly about them.

anyway i hand it over to all of you.    

#Birds of Prey #birds of prey movie #Harley Quinn #bop #long post

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

dick grayson fic rec post

i’ve read a fair amount of dick grayson/nightwing-related fic over the last few months–and have so many favourites that i revisit frequently!–that i thought it was about damn time that i made a rec post. feel free to add on any gems that you think i’ve missed.

s/o to @cautiousamber who actually inadvertently got this ball rolling, and who is just awesome in general.

-

these fics are listed in no particular order. almost all of them are sourced from ao3 and a lot of them feature dark themes, blood and violence. i’ll put fic-specific warnings next to each title, but make sure to check out the tags on the fic itself before reading in case i missed something that you’d rather not read.

-

like a rubber band until you pull too hard by @perissologist Summary:  Morgaine le Fey curses Dick Grayson to absorb the pain of everyone he loves.

Warnings: Violence, blood & gore, whump, some swearing. Also, it’s Jason Todd/Dick Grayson, tho that’s not the focus and more or less subtext until the last few paragraphs of the fic.

this is a gloriously simple h/c premise that packs in so much potential that i’m still kicking myself for not thinking of it before. the writing is wonderful, the interactions between dick and his family are heartfelt without being sappy, and the writer treads a fine, fine line between jason’s general standoffishness and the aching core of his love for his family so damn well. 

Half Lost, Half Found by takadainmate Summary:  Driven underground, Batman fights to keep Nightwing alive.

Warnings: Violence, blood & gore, graphic descriptions of injury, some swearing. And it’s, uh, incomplete, and likely to remain that way.

this… THIS is the fic that truly inspired me to make this post, because everyone needs to read it. rich in detail and full of glorious h/c, it manages to give us a nuanced, dynamic portrayal of bruce and dick’s relationship even while ratcheting up the tension as batman struggles to keep a gravely injured nightwing alive and save them both from Peril. it lacks the final chapter where (presumably) they are rescued and finally get a chance to recover, but i would 100% recommend reading what’s there even if you aren’t a fan of incomplete fics.

Black and Red by Eboni_A Summary:  Jason Todd is the Boy Terror to Dick Grayson’s Boy Wonder and proud of it. Where Dick is graceful, Jason is brutal, but they work together like clockwork. When a serious illness takes Dick down, Jason makes it his duty to watch over him. Jason loves his adopted brother and will kill to protect him.

Warnings: Violence, chronic illness, blood and gore, swearing, dick is fourteen and jason is twelve and they go through a lot of Shit. first person perspective.

this is nominally set in the young justice universe but there are a lot of changes–with jason todd adopted far earlier than he has been in other batman media and working as a batman sidekick of a different name while dick is still robin. given i’m not a big fan of reading robin-era fics (literal children in Peril makes me squirm) or first-person perspective, this fic still managed to win me over with how well-rounded and sympathetic it made an angry and prickly jason todd feel. dick also has to deal with a fairly serious medical issue, but despite spending most of the fic in hospital, his humour and charm and bravery shine through.

Collar Me (Don’t Collar Me) by CaramelMachete and spread_my_wings Summary:  A basic patrol ends in a common injury. However, complications may turn a simple broken arm into something potentially career-ending. Dick copes as best as he can. Until he doesn’t. His family tries to help.

Warnings: blood and injury, serious complications of said injury, descriptions of surgical procedures and discussion of permanent disability. some swearing. a work in progress.

i am obsessed with this fic. spoiler: the complication is compartment syndrome, and the way the fic approaches not just dick’s ways to cope with this, but other members of the batfam and several of dick’s friends ring very true to their characters. it’s emotional without being melodramatic and wonderfully written. an update on this fic ranks among the highlights of my day, honestly.

through sandstorms and hazy dawns by Makalaure Summary: “Robin,” Bruce grinds out, “stop talking. You need to stay sharp.”

Dick knows he is walking a fine, fine line. “Aw, come on, B,” he says, going for cheerful but feeling like something in him, something he has kept carefully in check till now, is about to snap.

Warnings:  mature themes, mentions of forced prostitution, homophobic language, implied paedophilia, implied past abuse, and exoticisation. panic attacks.

this is a beautiful fic, dealing with all the highs and lows of the earliest stages of bruce and dick’s relationship–both of them utterly out of their comfort zones but learning all the same. being batman’s first robin is so much more of a struggle than dick ever lets on later in his life, and in spite of everything, their growing love for and wonderment at each other shine through like a beacon.

Yellow Submarines by jerseydevious Summary: A collection of Batfam prompt-fics.

Warnings: there’s some swearing, violence and blood in some fics, but mostly harmless, i think.

not all of these are dick-related, but each and every one of these 52 fics have made me cry like a lost child. i love this author’s batfam–they’re softer, more open, and utterly unafraid to love each other with all their heart. it helps that the writing flows so well, too–there are some phrases here that will stay with me for a very, very long time.

Atropa Belladonna by Embleer_Firth0323 Summary:  A routine traffic stop sets off a domino effect that will forever shatter Officer!Grayson’s entire world–transforming a once temperate existence into a lurid nightmare of obsession, deceit, violence, and finally murder.

Warnings: Rape/non-con, abuse, suicide. suicidal thoughts, violence, blood and gore, multiple character deaths (none of the batfam), discussions of pregnancy and miscarriage, swearing, first person perspective. i’m sure i’m missing some warnings; please check the tags for the fic. there are also chapter-specific warnings in the notes that precede the chapters.

HOKAY. this is a VERY long, very soap-opera-y retelling of the infamous tarantula arc from the comics. somehow, it is even darker, but hopeful in that all of the damage it inflicts on dick and those close to him is actually acknowledged and addressed. the world around this particular version of dick is rather nicely fleshed out and full of likeable people… bar catalina, of course. catalina flores plumbs the depths of awfulness and digs even further when it comes to her relationship with dick, but even at her worst, her anguish and trauma is always palpable. it’s a long, difficult, but extremely engrossing read. 

i would recommend reading this author’s other novel-length fics as well, but beware that they deal with very, very heavy topics, and not always with the deftest or most sensitive hand.

Come One, Come All and The Only Thing To Say by incogneat_oh

both of these are really cute fics where members of the batfam care for/spend time with an injured!dick. they are sweet, rich in detail, and honestly a delight to read. warnings-wise, i can’t think of anything beyond the odd swear-word.

Little By Little by paramountie Summary:  Six times Tiger found himself stuck in Bludhaven.

Warnings: swearing, blood and injury, mind control, violence. Tiger/Dick. 

this fic builds on all the the strengths of the Grayson comic series–a breezy tone, spy/thriller content, and tiger and dick’s fun dynamic. this fic is very funny and kind of heartbreaking in turns. my only caveat is that this dick tends very much towards the happy-go-lucky, quippy, emotional, a-bit-of-a-disaster characterisation that tends to plague him in fanon–but to be fair, that is the persona he put up while at Spyral in Grayson.

O Clouds Unfold by lowflyingfruit Summary:  Over the years, Alfred tries to introduce the younger members of the Batfamily to the noble sport of cricket.

Warnings: none that i can think of, really.

THIS FIC DELIGHTS ME ON SO MANY LEVELS. little snippets of alfred bonding with bruce’s adopted kids over the years by trying to introduce them to cricket–alfred’s voice is consistently amazing, and it is charming af from beginning to finish. 

i’d recommend all of this author’s batfam fic tbh.

Tectonic Doom by paganpunk2 Summary:  Dick and Tim head out for a week of brotherly bonding in the wilderness only to find themselves caught up in a scheme to put humanity on the ‘extinct’ list.

Warnings: violence, blood, injury and gore, minor character death

this is a lovely, long, plotty fic–with a wonderfully imaginative premise that’s brought out in rich detail, with so much glorious, glorious Dick/Tim bonding. there are way, way too few fics that focus on these two.

Ducklings on the Freeway by pentapus Summary: Jason worries about the younger Robins. He doesn’t worry about Dick – Dick’s untouchable, and even if he wasn’t Jason wouldn’t care.

(Or Dick gets hurt, and it freaks Jason out more than he expected.)

Warnings: swearing, injury. Jason/Dick, but more subtext than anything.

jason’s voice in this fic is so perfect–the tentative ways in which he reconnects with his family, and especially dick, while still dealing with a fuckton of trauma and resentment ring very, very true. and tired-but-knowing!dick is a delight as always.

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this is maybe ~33% of the recs i had in mind, but this post has gotten long and i’m tired, so. i’ll add more later. if you have anything that i’ve missed, please feel free to add it to this post!

#batman #batfam #dick grayson #nightwing #robin #fic rec

[redhoodieone]

Don’t Tell Me Part 3

Don’t Tell Me Part 3

A/N: Okay!!! Here is Part 3 to “Don’t Tell Me” and I gotta say…it’s a little darker than I intended for it to be. Of course, I took Tim Drake’s storyline from “Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker.” In this particular story, Tim (as a young fairly new Robin, of course) was kidnapped by the Joker and was tortured mentally and physically for three weeks until Batman found him and saved him. After Tim healed, Bruce believed Tim was fine because after everything that happened, Tim seemed happy and normal. But…as the story goes…maybe Tim never healed and never got over what happened, especially since Tim’s a very emotional person.

But what will the Batfamily have to do now that Tim’s an enemy? Can they save him, or will Tim possibly have the same fate as Joker?

 Warnings: Language, bird killing, betrayal, and more later on.

   Jason didn’t know what to expect when he discovered Y/N was pregnant with his child, let alone what to expect when he would actually become...a father. Father... Jason Todd had a father once, before he became a ruthless crook, and went to prison. Even after, he never returned home. Jason’s mother and himself had more than a rocky relationship between drug addiction, and soon found himself alone on the streets. Which gave poor street rat Jason an opportunity to steal the Bat-mobile’s tires...and the rest is history. Bruce was a good father to him; despite his and Jason’s constant ups and downs. After the longest time of feeling replaced and betrayed, Jason even forgave Bruce and learned to love Tim as a younger brother. But in the end, Jason always considered Bruce his father, and even secretly thought that if he were to become a father, he would hope to be a worthy one as Bruce. But Jason knew he would never admit it out loud. Who would believe Jason had thought once or twice about being married and having children? No one, especially those who knew him as an angry, scarred, and troubled young man. But underneath the hard and difficult armor, Jason had always wished to have his own family at one point in his life. Ha. Family. Family... Jason still couldn’t believe Y/N is pregnant. The thought of a beautiful, wonderful, and kind woman like her carrying his child makes his heart soar and expand, as if finally, he could have the family he’s secretly hoped for most of his life.

He silently hopes Y/N got pregnant the night of his birthday, but he wouldn’t count on it. He admits he knows nothing about how conceiving works besides sex and wouldn’t know how to do the math to figure it out.

If anything, he just remembers how Y/N looked underneath him; with her hair spread out on the pillow, the sweat beading on her forehead, her breasts bouncing, and her kissable lips parted when she tried to breathe but Jason kept knocking the air from her lungs.

The fact that Y/N is even pregnant with Jason’s child makes him want her more.

But Y/N’s pregnancy is a secret to everyone else, except himself of course. Jason knew about her secret doctor’s appointments. But Jason’s questions were answered when he spied on Y/N throwing away her failed birth control.

The sickness, the little bump, and how Y/N keeps to herself just proves she’s different than before. Jason knew he was guilty as Y/N was; even when she didn’t keep up with taking her birth control, he didn’t wear condoms on most of their sexual activities because he wanted to feel her hot, wet, and tight pussy with just his bare cock. And a condom would surely prevent his fantasies and desires with Y/N.

Is it a boy? He would surely convince Y/N to name the little boy after him, since Jason was positive his son would be the spitting image of him (looks and personality, of course) and it would just make sense for a Jason Peter Todd, Jr. Is it a girl? Oh...Jason knew if he were going to have a daughter, he would love her with all his heart and do whatever it takes to protect her and Y/N for the rest of his life. Maybe this is life’s way of forgiving him, for all his sins and mistakes, so Jason can finally have the happy ending he deserves. And maybe...just maybe...Jason can be the man he’s always wanted to be. “Red Hood, you imbecile! Your communicator’s off!” Robin spats, and lands beside Batman, who are now behind Red Hood. “Are you asking to die, Todd?” “Robin...” Batman warns. His voice already deep and low, and his Bat glare already permanent on his face. “No personal names called in costumes.” “Yeah, you little shithead! What the hell do you guys want?” Red Hood snaps and twists his body around to face them. After patrolling for a couple of hours and with only a mugging and some goons stealing from a jewelry store, Jason found himself bored, and sitting next to his favorite gargoyle. He stands, and towers over Robin. “I already did my job around here, and so far, nothing has happened.” Batman growls. Jason knew his attitude and mouth weren’t helping the situation. “Okay fine, what’s going on now?” Red Hood asks as kindly as he could, which isn’t a lot. “The Joker has been missing for three days.” “So, what else is new? Joker’s been missing before, and we find him, kick his ass, and throw him back in fucking Arkham. And when he’s out again, we repeat. How’s this time any different?” Red Hood questions. “No clues. No sightings. No lead. This is different. I don’t know what he has planned this time,” Batman answers grimly. “Usually, Father and Drake always know the Joker’s actions and schemes before he does. This escape seems as if it was calculated before Joker could even thoroughly plan it himself. The escape may have been designed outside of Arkham, from a source who knows every detail of the premises and is well informed with the employee’s schedule to successfully bail him out. The question is, who could have pulled it off?” Robin asks, he hums in questioning. “Names...Robin,” Batman reminds. “Sorry,” Robin mumbles. “It’s a damn habit...” “Look, normally I would have already ranted about how your golden rule of “not killing and justice not vengeance” would have ended this cat and mouse game YEARS ago, but this is not new, Batman. I can’t fucking count how many times you’ve practically allowed Catwoman to walk out of Arkham for a booty call, or how you hand over the bad guys to Arkham for them to escape within one day. What’s so special about this one particular Joker escape?” Red Hood explains, and even lifts his gloved hand to count his fingers to name off a few ideas. “Is he going to blow up Gotham? He’s tried and failed miserably before. Is he going to kidnap Robin to attempt to turn him against you? He’s tried a million times, and it’s only worked once but that was taken care of. Is he planning to Batnap you and propose to you on top of Wayne Enterprises, because of the whole ‘chase me and I can’t live without you’ running joke, while the rest of us are tied up and gagged with bombs strapped to our chests? Maybe...” “Red Hood!” Batman shouts angrily. “Hold on, he might be onto something...” Robin considers it. “What? It’s not like Joker’s tried that yet. It’s just a fucking suggestion, old man,” Red Hood defends himself. Nightwing jumps down into a kneeling position and faces his father and brothers. A somber frown is on his face, and he gives off a negative vibe. Something’s wrong, and the rest know it. “Where’s Red Robin?” Batman asks Nightwing. “I don’t know. He hasn’t been answering his communicator all night. I can’t even get Oracle to trace it,” Nightwing answers truthfully, despite his eyes not meeting anyone’s. He exhales, and finally forces himself to look up to his father. “I...I think something’s wrong with him, Batman.” Batman breathes deeply, and walks closer to Nightwing. “What do you mean, Nightwing?” “This...this isn’t the first time this has happened. Oracle noticed he’s been MIA for a week. He hasn’t been cooperating. He hasn’t been patrolling with anyone,” Nightwing lists off his concerns. “Oh please, Grayson. Drake slacking off is hardly a concern or issue to even be worried about him. Perhaps he’s being too intimate with Y/N. He’s most likely back at the Manor, doing the baby-making process I’ve been reading up on lately. I would like a nephew, and I hope Drake’s sperm cells are sufficient swimmers and impregnate Y/N rather quickly. She has been different lately...perhaps she already is with child,” Damian reveals. “Damian!” Batman growls enraged. Jason felt his heart beat faster than before. Just hearing about Tim trying to be intimate with Y/N makes his blood boil like a volcano. “No, that-that’s not what I’m trying to talk about,” Nightwing sighs, and shakes his head. “I don’t want to say this...but I guess I’m the only one who can tell you the truth.” “Nightwing,” Batman begins and pauses instantly. He fears the worst. Batman knows he would be a fool to think all is well when the world keeps getting darker and shittier every day. “Just tell me the truth.” With one last sigh, Nightwing’s teary eyes look up to Batman’s. “O-Oracle...she has...reason to believe...t-that Tim was the one who released the Joker out.” The air got thicker. The silence between the four men shocked them; and made them question why Tim Drake would help the Joker escape. If anyone knew Bruce Wayne, they would say he’s a loving, protective father of all his children. And if one is being accused of something horrific and questionable, he would defend them until he died. “What did you just say, Dick?” Batman asks, appearing to have not heard Nightwing clearly. “W-we think Tim is responsible for allowing the Joker to escape. Y-you see, Oracle was able to go through Arkham Asylum’s surveillance cameras, and Tim had to be the one to get passed all of them successfully,” Nightwing explains hastily. “So, he’s not even on camera?” “Well, no but-“ “Then you have nothing to prove your accusation. If you have no evidence, then you can’t accuse Tim of doing something as wrong as letting an insane, murderous, criminal out of Arkham,” Batman says angrily. His breathing is uneven, and his temper is about to burst. “Let me just explain it,” Nightwing tries to reason. “No, no I don’t want to listen to your reasons, Dick. H-how dare you accuse Timothy of doing this? If anything, why not accuse Jason or Damian?” Batman yells, unable to keep his rage under control. The brothers stepped back, because Batman’s anger is frightening; even to them growing up. “Why not accuse me? After all, I don’t kill, and when I don’t kill, they’ll just keep escaping, murdering innocent people, and destroy every ounce of happiness I gain for only a short while. Because maybe I did it. Maybe Alfred did it, too.” “Do not bring Pennyworth into this,” Robin threatens. “Just listen to me for a minute. He wasn’t caught on cameras, but couldn’t someone who knows Arkham as well as us have done the job and not get caught? It would have to take a genius to go in undetected, do the job, and get out as if nothing happened? The only problem with this theory is, what would Tim get out of it? Why would he want the Joker out?” Nightwing clarifies his case. Batman stays silent. He turns to face Red Hood and Robin. “He...he wouldn’t, though. He is different. He’s always so aware and sure of everything. Why would he do this?” Batman whispers, mostly to himself. “He never had a bad past; not like the rest of us. I...I always thought he was going to stay good. I thought I would never have to worry about him.” Jason couldn’t believe this. He didn’t want to believe Dick, but something in his gut was telling him to hear him out. Could someone as good as Tim really turn bad? Would Tim happen to know his and Y/N’s secret? Oracle beeps into Nightwing’s communicator. “Go ahead Oracle.” “Nightwing...I-I have some bad news for you. Well, for all of you really. Get online now,” Oracle commands. Red Hood pushes a button inside his helmet where he is watching the screen load the video. Batman and Nightwing look down to their wrists where a screen lights up, that links them online with Oracle and Alfred. A shaky video loads, and it appears someone unknown is recording a brown shoe box, where a dark and reddish bird, a robin to be exact, is lying down dead with its eyes open outside of a nest with two small bird eggs inside. “Well! Isn’t this precious! This robin birdie was a mother,” the voice belongs to Joker. His high screeching laugh made the men silently gasp. The camera moves away from the mother bird and zooms in on the eggs. “Aww...new life. They say in death, live continues on...but not for these unborn children.” The camera then turns around and Joker’s face takes up the entire screen. His dark eyes send shivers down the Batman and Batboy’s bodies. His painted red lips curved up into a deadly smile. “I finally have your attention now, Bats? You’re probably asking yourself, ‘Now why would the Joker attack and brutally kill a bird, who just laid her eggs, and didn’t have the beautiful opportunity to see her children hatch from their little eggs, and take that first breath in this dark, evil, and deadly world I, Joker reign in?’ You know, while I usually take my sick pleasure in torturing your family Bats, or some innocent people I don’t even know or care about. But I must say Bats...even your family can surprise me!” Joker laughs hysterically, before he dramatically frowns. With a hand holding his cheek, his mouth opens wide. “And let’s just say, this wouldn’t all be possible without your third Robin...” Batman growled and shut his eyes tightly. This was too much for him. Red Hood feels his insides burning with rage. No, no there’s no way Joker could know...he thought to himself. Tim wouldn’t do this... “I am beyond surprised Bats! Even I couldn’t have done this all by myself! After all, who would have thought that the second former dead Robin would have knocked up a woman, who is supposedly dating your third Robin? Did you know that, Bats? The so-called damned Prince of Gotham knocked up the Batfamily slut, Y/N Y/LN. Now that’s a mouthful! And now I bet you’re wondering where your faithful and more-than alive Robin is,” Joker says, and turns the camera and it zooms in on Tim Drake, dresses from head to toe in his former Robin costume but painted in exact Joker makeup. “Who would I thought I could manipulate and influence his mind twice? He must not be as sane as you believed, Bats!” Batman’s breathing heavily in panic. When Tim Drake was younger, Joker managed to kidnap him and manipulate him into being Joker’s son. But luckily Batman was able to treat him and stop Joker’s influence from taking over his mind. But maybe Joker is right. Maybe Tim isn’t as sane and good as he once believed. Red Hood watches in complete horror how Tim glances up at the camera and smiles, very similar and terrifying as Joker’s. “Whoever this Robin was...his spirit is destroyed, as I have destroyed the second’s, and even yours, Bats!” Joker cackles. Joker turns the camera once more as he holds up the robin’s eggs to the lens. “Oh, and as for these baby birds? I can’t wait to eat them, just like I can’t wait to eat yours, Red Hoodie!” Joker tosses back the robin’s eggs into his mouth and his teeth breaks apart the poor, unborn birds’ eggshells. The liquid from the eggs, blood, and flesh stick to his teeth, creating a grayish ooze with blood, and his maniac eyes shine as his laugh echoes throughout the tape. “Now, that was very delicious! Those robin eggs were tasty, and I know Red Hoodie’s and Y/N’s will be very tasty too! Isn’t that right, Y/N?” Joker asks, and turns the camera to face Y/N, lying on a dirty, torn up hospital bed, but she appeared to be groggy and unresponsive to her name. “Well, she’s just tired because being pregnant with Red Hood’s baby MUST be exhausting! That kid’ll come out like a cannonball!”

Jason clenched his teeth and fists. He was pissed off; angry and frustration weren’t enough. A sudden strong energy takes over his body. He feels the urge to protect his love, and his child. No matter what. Even if he must kill Joker.

Jason no longer cares about the golden rule. The love of his life and unborn child are in danger, and if he doesn’t find them, he’d lose them both.

He’d even lose Tim…his brother.

“I’ll even eat her egg when she’s just three months along! You know me Bats!” Joker’s laugh ends when the tape ends.

The screens are off when Red Hood notices Batman, Nightwing, and Robin are glaring at him. “We’ll talk more about that at home. Until then, we need to find the Joker, and save Tim and Y/N,” Batman announces, and motions the boys to follow him. “How dangerous could Drake even be? He has the anger and the strength of a toddler,” Robin claims sarcastically. Batman stops, and faces his sons. There is the worry, the anger, the tears in his eyes he can’t fight back anymore. “None of you remember how Tim was back then. You had your own life Dick, the solo career as Nightwing. Jason, you were back into Gotham with your vengeance. And Damian, I didn’t even know you existed. So, none of you were there when Tim was just starting off as my Robin. He was a happy kid, a kid who loved to learn and be the best. But Joker got to him before me. He tortured him for three weeks. Brain washed him. Torment him mentally and physically. Used him as a solider to get back at me. But because of Tim’s natural innocence and happiness, he was made a perfect target. Tim…was and still is an emotional guy. If something were to snap in his head, it would be the end for him. If he wanted to, Tim could have killed hundreds, maybe even thousands, just to hurt me. Tim was and still is the perfect solider, and I’m going to be the one who pays, again,” Batman confesses. “Why would you pay? I’m the one who should be paying for what I’ve done,” Red Hood asks quietly. Batman releases a choked sob. “Because I knew about Tim’s pain...and I never helped him. I didn’t think he’d ever need help.”

“What do you mean?” Nightwing asks. “Did you know this was bound to happen?”

“Yes. I knew it was eventually going to happen. And now that it’s happened…I have to stop him myself.”

Jason knew what Bruce meant, and while Bruce may have a plan, Jason knew he wasn’t going to stand beside him when it comes down to the Joker.

Jason wants nothing more than to put a bullet through the Joker’s skull.

“If he hurts Y/N, the baby, and Tim,” Jason chokes out before he manages to pull himself together. Hot tears are streaming down his cheeks, and he thanks God he has his hood on. “I’m going to kill the Joker. I don’t give a fuck about your golden rule anymore. If you get in my way, I’ll kill you too. If you kill me right after, I’d still not give a shit. Because what’s it going to take for you to realize he’s a fucking monster who’ll keep doing this over and over again until you’re the last one standing? So, how many more people have to die or be crippled for you to see he needs to die? Me?! Barbara?! Tim?! Y/N?! My fucking unborn child?! Or does Alfred, Dick, or Damian have to be the last ones for you to see it?” Jason screams.

Batman exhales. A pained look is on his face, and he looks defeated already.

“Maybe this time…I won’t stop you from doing that…if it needs to be done.”

#dc comics #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #batfam #batman #red hood #nightwing #robin #joker