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rainyinautumn · 1 year

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there's a parallel in last life that I don't see talked about as much as it deserves and so I'm going to dissect the ever-living hell out of it. remember the ghast farm incident? everyone remembers the ghast farm incident. Grian turns red, he starts knocking blocks of a bridge out from under Mumbo, "there's a way we can still be friends," etc etc etc. it's fantastic. WELL. two sessions earlier, there's a similar confrontation between Scar and Joel after Joel turns red, except the roles are reversed. Joel approaches and it's Scar who starts breaking blocks of the bridge, trying to put distance between the two of them. HOWEVER, the interesting difference here is that Scar is doing it not because he doesn't want to be Joel's friend anymore, but because he still wants to be. lets take a look at a transcript of part of that scene, shall we?

[Scar breaks several blocks of the bridge.] Joel: Scar, what are you doing? I know you're not my friend anymore, but come on, Scar. Not the bridge. Scar: I wanted to make an arrangement. Are- are we not friends? Joel: We can't be friends, Scar. We can't be friends.

Scar knows that Joel is a red life and that he might hurt him, but he still wants to be friends, so he's providing a way that they can be near each other while he isn't in any danger by putting a gap in the bridge. he even breaks it again when he comes by to chat later. during that chat, Joel reminds him of how dangerous he is, Scar says he "gets it," and then proceeds to let him continue living under magical mountain. Scar doesn't "get" that he needs to be cautious of Joel—what he "gets" is that he's taking a risk by letting him stay and that he's already accepted something might happen. and he's OKAY with that. Joel is red. he gets it.

now compare that to this excerpt from the ghast farm incident:

Grian: Y'know, Mumbo, there's a way we can still be friends. Mumbo: Yeah? Grian: Yeah. [he starts breaking blocks at of Mumbo's feet] You could join me.

with Joel and Scar, it's a red life choosing to step away from his friend in order to protect him, while said friend tries to find a way that they can still be near each other without placing himself in danger. with Grian and Mumbo, it's a red life choosing to try to take his friend down with him so that they can be near each other because he can't accept not being his friend. the fact that in BOTH scenarios the friendship is symbolized by a bridge being broken is a perfect illustration of one of Grian's lines from the ghast farm incident: "it was a bad idea for the wrong reasons." those friendships should have been a good idea, those bridges should have been a good idea, but now they provide a connection that isn't safe, and they all know that.

and I'm not done talking about this. no no no no no. this offers a FASCINATING insight into why desert duo is Like That. Scar would sooner let Grian kill him than have to stop being his friend. Grian would sooner kill Scar than have to stop being his friend. which is all kinds of perfectly fucked up and explains exactly why 3rd life ended the way that it did. it also makes the cactus scene from double life very interesting to think about. remember the cactus scene? it's a doozy.

Grian starts session by dropping a stalactite on Scar's head as a prank and (unintentionally) taking them down to two and a half hearts. Scar then retaliates by leaning against a cactus until Grian breaks it. he then leans against Yet Another Cactus until Grian breaks that one too, at which point they are at only one heart. a question I've been asking since that day is this: if Grian hadn't broken the cactus, would Scar have stepped away before it was too late?

using bridge theory, we can find an answer to this.

the answer is no.

this isn't necessarily because Scar is actively trying to get them killed—it's more because he knows with absolute certainty that Grian will break the cactus. he's not prepared to step away because he isn't worried he needs to. see, the difference between Grian and Scar is that Grian is willing to throw around the lives of other people to get what he wants, and Scar is willing to throw around his own life to get what he wants (the fact that what they really want out of all this is often the other's trust is an issue I will dissect another day). once again, last life is the perfect example of this. Grian steals a life from Scar right off the bat and gets another one out of him by force a few episodes later. meanwhile, Scar makes a business out of selling his soul and threatens Team BEST that he'll kill himself in order to go red life crazy on them. and they don't doubt him! and they SHOULDN'T doubt him, because Scar is the kind of guy that would do that! the same way that Grian is the kind of guy who will drop a stalactite on his soulmate's head but break the cactus he's leaning against.

Grian is willing to risk Scar's life, but he's not okay with Scar risking his own life, because he knows that he's completely willing to stand against a cactus until he dies if it makes a point. so Grian breaks it.

but Scar knows Grian as well as Grian knows him. Scar knows that this is hardly a risk at all. so he leans against the cactus a third second time.

#normal about desert duo #normal about last life #normal about how the life series is a tragedy of epic proportions but is also just a block game that some guys play for fun #these two are so integral to each other's demise it is unbelievable #desert duo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #last life #double life #overrainylyzed

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nohaijiachi · 8 months

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I've been seeing just about all moments of GO S2 being put under a microscope and absolutely dissected frame by frame

And still I am yet to see anyone mention a moment that might be small in the grand scheme of things, perhaps not as character defining as many other that have been (rightfully) analyzed a thousand times over, but which was *so* important to me, and every single time I watch it I'm just filled with so many feelings and jhaghagha

(putting this under a read more to not spam y'all with a ginormous post clogging your dashes)

The moment in question is this (my apologies for the pics, I currently don't have a proper way to take screenshots of S2 and had to snap photos of my tv screen lol)

It's such a quick moment, a small blip in the entirety of episode 5, but let me tell you why it absolutely destroys my heart every single time.

First of all let's refresh our memory on Aziraphale's relationship with Heaven and Gabriel specifically, shall we?

The very first time we see Gabriel in S1, he surprises Aziraphale at a sushi restaurant. Aziraphale looks to his left, because that's the side where Crowley usually appears when approaching him, but instead of his boyfriend the familiar Demon, he sees the reflection of Gabriel at his other side, and he turns around with what reads to me as very much an "oh shit" expression.

In episode 2 we see Gabriel again, along with Sandalphon; they are flanking Aziraphale and leaving him no way to escape in what to me seems a blatant intimidation tactic, especially with Gabriel being all "hey you remember Sandalphon, right :)" and Aziraphale being like "Oh yeah, likes smiting and turning people into salt, I sure do! *nervous laugh". There's literally no reason for them to be acting like this if not to (un)subtly remind Aziraphale what his place is, and that he is NOT safe, not even in his bookshop.

Whenever we see Aziraphale in Heaven he is constantly standing ramrod straight, hands kept caged behind him, none of his usual mannerism to be seen. He always smiles like a hare being stared at by a hawk and the cinematography very much underlines that tenseness by both showing the impossible, cold and sterile expanse of Heaven in contrast to the camera being shoved right in the characters' face to make the viewer feel just as uncomfortable as Aziraphale is.

When Gabriel and Aziraphale speak in the park there's this moment after it looks like Gabriel is leaving, but he pops right back up in Aziraphale's space in an instant, causing the reaction we see in these screenshots. Aziraphale is clearly taken aback and tense, eyes widening which is like, fair considering Gabriel pretty much jump scared him, but that's rather the point, isn't it? Gabriel pretty much jump scared him. He didn't just turn around and jog back to Aziraphale to ask him about the sword, he purposefully moved himself up to him without any warning. Like sheesh, talk about terrifying bosses.

No Gabriel here, but just another example of how much Aziraphale does NOT like being in Heaven. When he gets discorporated and finally manages to stand up for himself, saying he refuses to fight a war, he still looks like *this*. Like he's one step away from just discorporating a second time and without an actual body out of sheer anxiety.

When all it's said and done at the Tadfield airbase and the four horsemen are gone, Gabriel and Beelzebub decide to go check what the heck is going on, at which point Aziraphale pretty much seems to be bracing himself, straightening his back, adjusting his clothes nervously and then holding his hand in front of him in a show of dignified quietness I definitely read as him doing his best to hide just how anxious he truly is.

Of course we don't see Aziraphale's reaction at being told to shut his stupid mouth and die already by Gabriel due to the body swap, and at this point is pretty safe to say Crowley has never shared with Aziraphale that little tidbit of information, but even not knowing the extent of the cruelty Gabriel showed toward him at the end, he still knows that Gabriel and, by extension, Heaven was more than willing and ready to murder him.

Even at the start of S2, when an amnesiac Gabriel arrives at the bookshop and then hugs him (awkwaaaard), Aziraphale looks like he's entirely frozen and unable to react to the improbability of what is happening, and when Gabriel asks him if he can go inside the bookshop Aziraphale's immediate reaction is to pretty much recoil with an immediate "No!".

Of course he is then forced to let him in because there's a naked man on his steps while the whole neighborhood is watching, and we get some many more little moments of Aziraphale anxiety emerging through his body language: The pacing, the way he sits ramrod straight in front of Gabriel, and him literally backing away multiple steps when Gabriel asks him "You know how it's like, when you don't know anything at all, and yet you're totally certain that everything will be better if you were just near one particular person?"

(Because of course Aziraphale knows how that feels, and that's exactly the same reason why he's been so scared of Heaven for-fucking-ever!) (Also as an aside let me just bless Michael 'Acting Choices' Sheen for that smile that lasts a shard of a second after Gabriel asks that. You can pretty much see the word "CROWLEY" stamped in big bold letters on his forehead in that moment lmao)

(Also as an aside to the aside. Jon Hamm is just fantastic. Gabriel comes across as such an asshole in S1, but Amnesiac!Gabriel is a fucking cinnamon roll and he pulls it off so well ajahjahja)

Then of course we get the whole exchange about the 'something terrible' that sends Aziraphale into more anxious frenzy until another tiny, kinda overlooked moment hits us in the shins, in which Gabriel says "You're funny. I love you." And like, can't blame anybody for not looking at that moment without much thought, I know that that sentence had me crying laughing multiple times on multiple rewatches, but also... God, you can see the way some of that fear instantly leaves Aziraphale, the way he relaxes ever so slightly and ??? Aziraphale??? Is that all you need to instantly start trusting someone who wanted you dead? Who treated you like shit for who knows how long? (Why am I even asking this, of course that'd be enough, it's Aziraphale we're talking about, here.) Then of course the rest of season 2, he and Crowley having a row about what to do with Gabriel with Aziraphale insisting that he needs them, as his friends, yada yada, we get back to the initial moment that sparked this post.

We get there, Aziraphale's (eldritch) Ball and the romantic moment he's been working himself up for ruined, murderous Demons at his steps putting both he and all the humans inside in peril, and all he would need to do to avoid any harm coming to them is to give Gabriel up, and... "You came to me. I said I would protect you. And I will." Not just the words, but the way Aziraphale says them; voice lowered and serious, that hint of hesitation and fear at the start that melts away into full blown confidence at the 'And I will'.

It isn't just Aziraphale being scared by Gabriel mentioning the 'something terrible' at the beginning, nor the brief moments of cryptic recollection that he witnesses Gabriel going through-- It's that Aziraphale sincerely accepted to protect him, and he wasn't going to give that up. He is a Guardian and a Principality, after all.

And like, I see this and how am I supposed not to get my heart utterly shattered by it? If Aziraphale had rejected Gabriel, or treated him unkindly in any way, I hardly doubt anybody would be hard pressed to say Aziraphale did not have the right to do so, not after the way he's been treated by Gabriel and Heaven his whole life. But he doesn't. He is kind to him, if a tad long-suffering at times. The protection he extended over Gabriel is utterly sincere and unwavering.

And ngggggggh I don't even know where I'm going with this. I just. Love Aziraphale so much. Stupid, clever, anxious, brave man-shaped thing that he is, recklessly throwing himself into the line of fire for somebody that, by any means, did not have any right to ask something of that magnitude from him. He is my scrungly, and by God am I ever so excited to see how everything will play out in season 3. I want him to fully grasp that bravery and raise absolute -metaphorical- hell with it. Shine bright, you crazy bastard.

#good omens #aziraphale #meta #i suppose #idk i just wanted to throw my two cents and talk about this specific moment #cuz it gives me ALL of the feels #my angel blorbo ilu

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lovesickeros · 13 days

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☆ you sow; & thus you shall reap what you are owed

{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood, violence {☆} word count 0.8k

You are dying.

Gold melts into the dirt, bleeds into the very earth that you'd molded by your own hands – a familiarity you do not understand the source of – you know it to be true, yet you do not remember it as Teyvat does. It weeps, in turn, for the way you bleed upon it, the way your lungs strain for breath.

It is fury and sorrow and fear and hatred so raw that your mind buckles.

You will die.

"A dying godling and its judge, it's jury – it's executioners," The voice is hollow and cold, sweeps across your broken body like the first chill of winter, "Archons who saw themselves Gods, now brought to heel by their own hubris."

A cold hand upon your cheek, the brush of a thumb across your lip, the gentle caress of cold across your skin. You know her – you don't remember, you shouldn't recognize her but you do – and she knows you. The cold beckons and you follow, let her kindness settle in the hollow space of your chest. You want to speak, to cry and scream and rage, let the world burn around you in a fit of flames so hot even she cannot contain it – but she silences you, quiets the anger seeping into your blood, quiets Teyvat itself.

"Do not speak, little godling. Guide my hand," She is cold; her hands are not gentle, yet it is bliss compared to the callous, cruel hands that have shattered you. She is cruel and cold and brutal but she is love in the way she kisses the crown of your head. She is love in the way she is the bulwark between you and the world that has scorned you – she is fury in the way she brings them to their knees. "And I shall enact judgement most divine."

They will pray for forgiveness, and they shall find themselves wanting.

"It wasn't our fault!" They cry, but you cannot recognize the voice – it breaks and cracks like glass. "They were too human. How were we meant to know? We– we thought they were.."

Silence.

You watch your judge – the executioner, the blade that shall carve their sins into the very marrow of Teyvat, stand above you like death. As cold as winter and just as brutal. Your temple has been painted in the gold of your divine blood, and she shall complete the masterpiece with their own. The Archons shall become the grandest art in the world – this temple the canvas, their blood the paint and their bodies the palette. The cold that cuts sinew cradles you – it sings to you, whispers sweetly in your ear and carves bone from body in the same breath. The cold presses it's lips to your wrist and it cradles a heart within it's palm – judges them and finds them guilty.

It is her spear that rests between their ribs, her sword that dissects and her dagger that carves – the cold devours.

In the breadth of this divine sanctuary, the Archons dwindle. They become the pieces of a divine work of art, they bleed and bend and break upon her hands. She shakes the heavens and carves mortality into the bones of the divine – your word is Law, and you weave their deaths into the roots of Teyvat itself.

They shall know of their grand folly in every moment henceforth and longer still and they shall weep.

And as the curtain falls, as the world crumbles beneath fist and blade, she cradles your face between hands too cold – as gentle as a shard of ice between your ribs, as brutal as the kiss of gentle snowfall. The world buckles at the loss of six, but she alone does not allow it to break – you will have to mend the wounds of the world when you are well, but today you weep and Teyvat weeps with you.

And alone, the cold remains.

Stone has eroded, the wind has ceased, the flames have been extinguished, the storm has been silenced, the forests have gone quiet and the seas go still.

But the cold remains, bathed in gold.

It wraps you in thick furs, cradles you against the winter storm that brews beneath a veneer of composure. It brings you home – lets the world settle into a stillness and silence that inspires only dread and still she presses a kiss to your brow.

It is cold, but there has never been something so warm.

Where hands have broken you, she drapes you in furs, wipes away the thick gold that clings to your skin. She pieces you back together where you have been shattered, reshapes you where you have been bent – makes of you something new. Not a god and not a mortal but something wedged between them.

But you are yourself.

And you are where you belong.

They shall put you back together and you shall know only the worship worthy of the divine. They shall carve this world into your image, tear out and burn away the rot that festers.

All you need to do is say the word and they shall be your tools to make this world your own.

One word and those who wronged you shall burn, too.

Just one word. That's all it takes, and they shall take away your pain.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #fic tag #genshin cult au #genshin impact cult au #tsaritsa #“eros you left for a month again” yeah.................#anyway. posts tsaritsa fic and leaves #i kept it kinda vague but the fatui are all on your side. whether or not your actually the creator or not though..#now thats up for debate.#did they tamper w teyvat to kill the archons? to break the world to be remade in whatever image they see fit?#using you as the means of their end?#maybe you are the creator and they just saw an opportunity. maybe they are just devoted to you.#i just think lowkey villain au but specifically imposter au where the only ones who side w u r the fatui like OUGH #i love the fatui. them being the only ones 2 side w u is so tasty #prime material for angst bc the self doubt if the only ppl who believe u r the “villains”#a lot of this is just like. tsaritsa posting again though #the tsaritsa who loves so deeply yet cannot love #contradictions all the way down #she loves you but she cannot love you.#she loves you but she will put a dagger between your ribs. she loves you but she is incapable of love #tsaritsa the woman that u r ough #harbingers and their complex relations 2 love my beloved #smth smth tsaritsa seeing an opportunity to install a puppet “creator” which creates a separate imposter!au when the actual creator pops in #did i write this just 2 write tsaritsa being vague and Weird and horrifying and a horror and a lover and just a woman and #yeah :]#please talk 2 me abt the tsaritsa pleas epleas pleas eplease please please please p[lease please pleas

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santacoppelia · 8 months

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The HUGE analysis - This season starts and ends with a discussion, doesn't it?

Ok, my loves. This was one of the really long metas I've been working with, and probably the one that has taken me the longest (because it depended a lot on rewatching the season time and again).

I couldn't help to notice that the fist interaction Aziraphale and Crowley have in season 2 is a fight, really. Yeah, we have the beautiful “in the beginning” sequence, with both of them being angels and happy and all the such (oh, how lovely, Neil Gaiman planting the seeds of why it will matter to us that Aziraphale will not be fighting the idea of inviting Crowley to Heaven, because he remembers that happy, careless guy). But after the intro, we see them having a big disagreement… And we end the season in the biggest disagreement they have had, probably, in 6,000 years.

I love over-analyzing and dissecting narratives and characters, and more so if I can use only what we’ve been shown in the screen. Therefore, I believe that the first fight of the season tells us a lot of the things we will need to know to understand the final fight of the season between them. Let’s take a look, shall we?

The first fight is motivated by having an amnesiac Gabriel in the bookshop.

They see the same circumstance: Gabriel in the bookshop means trouble with Heaven. He is also an individual risk, because he has menaced Aziraphale directly (well, Crowley under the visage of Aziraphale).

It affects each of them differently: even when they both panic, Aziraphale feels compelled to be kind to Gabriel (gives him a blanket and hot cocoa) while Crowley has a full-on panic induced reaction and gets defensive.

They propose opposite solutions: Azi wants to do the Good thing, taking the “higher road” (help Gabriel), while Crowley wants to do His Own thing: “Protect the precious, peaceful, fragile existence I have carved for myself”

At that moment, Aziraphale corrects him and marks a “we”, which is very interesting. But immediately after that, Aziraphale gets all "my way or the highway".

Crowley asks for clarification, with a well-leveled tone of voice: “Is this how it is going to go?”

Azi clarifies "no, I want you to help me!" But then he does the passive-aggressive thing: "if you won't, you won't". (oh, Aziraphale, how you triggered me here, my dear chap. I was angry at the character the first 6 times I saw this)

Therefore, Crowley is out. He marks a clear limit: “I won't. You are on your own”, and then storms out. No Eccles cakes would help him: he needs a breather and counting to 10. That doesn't help either.

Crowley only comes back after gaining an extra perspective: the "extreme sanctions" talk with Beelzebub.

When he comes back, Aziraphale will stand his ground: he feels he deserves an apology, which is delivered via a “I was wrong, you were right” literal admission (even when he probably wasn't "right", but that's their way... And they've been doing it since 1650, or so they say). Then they are able to work together again.

Now, let’s see how this dynamic plays out in their last discussion of the season:

They come from different sides of the same experience: Crowley went to Heaven to investigate and learned about the plans to continue with the end of the world, while Aziraphale stayed defending the bookshop. Then Crowley saves the humans, while Aziraphale solved the Beelzebub + Gabriel affair.

They haven’t had time to talk, as they get interrupted by The Metatron. While he takes Aziraphale, Crowley receives a visit from Maggie and Nina.

Each one of them gained an extra different perspective: Azi, the Metatron proposal (and veiled menace); Crowley, the pep talk/scolding from the couple they were trying to get together.

This makes them develop different solutions:

Crowley wants to finally admit what Azi has been saying all the season: they are a "we" (Azi said so when Crowley talked about his “precious, peaceful, fragile existence”; he said it again when talking about “our car” and reinforced it with the bookshop)

Azi wants to take the "higher road": go to Heaven, reinstate Crowley as an angel, so they can still work together.

Crowley sees the “usual dynamic” of their disagreements coming: it will be Azi’s way (or the highway). That has happened before, in front of our eyes, and not only in this season: it happened also in season 1, but we have already attested that it is still happening, and it is even “worse” (Aziraphale being a little “petty” with the “if you do, it is fine, but if you won’t, you are on your own” in the Gabriel discussion).

Crowley gets indignant. He asks, tentatively, if he told him where to stick it… And then he reinforces his belief. We are better than that, YOU are better than that, you don’t need them, I don’t need them; then he makes the first mention of the offer of getting back to Hell (which he hadn’t shared with Aziraphale), and makes a new point: I said no, neither should you!

Aziraphale goes back to the “you are the bad guys!” thing. Heaven being the side of Truth, of Light, of Good… It is not the propaganda Crowley needed for this move.

Crowley then clarifies the fallacy in his logic: when Heaven ends life on Earth, it’ll be just as dead as if Hell ended it.

Aziraphale then sees the "undesirable result" coming: Crowley is not going to accept, not with that argument.

Crowley makes his plead grow in urgency: Tell me you said no.

Aziraphale’s pitch of voice goes high (usually used as a sign of distress): “If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.”

Crowley understands. This is his “my way or the highway” moment. That’s why he comes up with the courage to make his half-proposal-half admission.

Crowley never gets to state out loud the “I want us to be together in a formal way” part. His voice breaks before he does so. He mentions all of the reasons they have to stay together, which Aziraphale already knows: we have been together for a long time, we’ve been a group (“our own side” was the way he always said it before) and we’ve spent our existence pretending that we aren’t (Azi also knows that! He has been working hard into making Crowley notice it!)

You can see, when they shoot Aziraphale’s face, he squints a little during that moment: maybe questioning, a little disbelief? As usual with Michael Sheen, it is a blink it and you’ll miss it moment.

After the grunt, Crowley proposes his alternative solution: going off together, using Beelzebub & Gabriel as an example that they could.

Therefore, what Aziraphale has just listened is what he already knew: yes, they are a “we”. Crowley wants to run away (he had proposed it twice during the Armageddidn’t, another pattern they have already established).

The next step is the usual way for Aziraphale: he reinforces his proposal: come with me, to Heaven. Ill’ run it, you can be my second in command. This idea has rubbed me wrong since the first time I watched this scene. Why remark the hierarchy? (not to say that I’m in Crowley’s side in here, but… It was weird and uncomfortable to think of them in a vertical power structure; they have always been equals).

Then, he goes back to making a difference, only it is “we” this time. Crowley is noticing he won’t back down… But Aziraphale usually doesn’t.

“You can’t leave this bookshop” works as a representation, a figure of speech. “This Bookshop” is “This life we have been building”, and they both understand it as such.

“Oh, Crowley… Nothing lasts forever…” For Aziraphale, it means he can leave this for something greater. For Crowley, it means… Actually, the same. But without him. Because he knows the “my way or the highway” side of Aziraphale, and none of them will budge. Aaaaand… that’s Crowley heart breaking. The rest of the scene happens with Crowley in “breakup mode”.

Aziraphale is used to “the discussion dance”. He Insists, “Crowley! Come back, to Heaven, work with me! We can be together, Angels! Doing good!”. He promises all he can: “come back, work with me, we can be together”, which have always been Crowley’s triggers to change his mind. However, the problem lies within the “angels doing good”. That’s the part that Aziraphale would need to let go before getting back to Crowley.

And then, he breaks down: “I need you!!” That has always worked! Aziraphale knows that Crowley loves being needed, he won’t leave his angel when in need, right?

And then, he gets angry. And he questions if Crowley has understood what he is offering, which transforms in an “I don’t think your exactly and my exactly are the same exactly” all over again.

Crowley is already brokenhearted, so he answers truthfully, as far as he knows. He understands how terrible the offer of going back to heaven is for both of them, and is not aware of the veiled threat in Metatron’s offer. He knows that going back to Heaven is a non-negotiable boundary, and Aziraphale is absolutely determined to cross it.

Aziraphale, then, does his passive-aggressive shit again: “I guess there is nothing more to say”. My guy, my love, you need to become better at negotiating with your loved one.

This is where Crowley decides to show, don’t tell, the hurt: no nightingales. And then… The “You idiot. We could have been… us” (no, you couldn’t, it was always too late!!! First the pandemic, which I’ve decided to treat as canon, then Gabriel. They never stood a chance).

In this context, Crowley’s kiss is a desperate way to say good-bye to the person he cared most for the last 6,000 years; also an angry way to regain some semblance of control and affect Aziraphale; and a final way to get some “closure”. Is there desire? Is there love? Maybe. But they are lost in a cocktail of emotions that have been stated during the rest of the discussion.

The angry “I forgive you”, which is also a usual dynamic for Aziraphale when he is angry with Crowley, gets there too late for Crowley to react to. He has already “checked out”. That’s why the “don’t bother” feels almost like an afterthought and comes after a small sigh.

After watching this 16 times, I’m pretty confident that the first thing Aziraphale mouths is a “no…” and then… he sobs a little. Michael Sheen, you’re a beautiful actor. The rest of it is a masterclass in using microexpressions to convey a whirlwind of emotions in under 2 minutes.

Sooooo... Did I hurt my own emotions while writing this? Yes. Did I absolutely need to do so? Also yes. Even when I like doing intertextual readings (and that's why I like bringing some theology to some of my musings), reading what is in "the text" (in the scenes we have watched, in the dialogues we've been shown) gives me an enormous amount of pleasure, and I find a lot of comfort in believing that most of the things that I'll need to understand and enjoy a great piece of media are being given to me inside it. And I believe Good Omens is a great piece of media!!

I have no Shakespeare to offer you this time. Let me know what you think!!

#good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens spoilers #ineffable divorce #the final fifteen #narrative analysis #character analysis #good omens #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #If I was into Academia this should be counted as a journal referenced publication #Making my Comms Sci degree useful for something

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beautifulhigh · 7 months

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It just occurred to me that the polo scene doesn't get much love as it should. I know it's very short but just the thirst in Alex’s eyes, the way you can see his mouth dry while watching Henry ride that horse and his oh so sexy smile. I feel like that scene required a major dissection, and no one does it better so I came calling.

You know what? I'm doing this one now. I know I said I would do a meta on Henry Fox and I would do a meta on the New Year's Eve party but this is in my inbox now and yeah, let's talk about the polo scene.

(I'm also doing this now so I don't have another thing on my To Do pile, and your kind words made my shitty day a little better so thank you.)

Short scene, not a short meta.

In the book when he and Henry are in his bedroom, Alex has this little moment of clouds parting, sun beaming, angels chorus revelation:

In an instant of sudden, vivid clarity, he can’t believe he ever thought he was straight.

And while movie!Alex doesn't have the same bi awakening that book!Alex does. this is very much his moment of "oh I am very not straight at all" and that is valid of him.

(As this is a Jen meta, we shall also be talking about everything else because you do not analyse a text in isolation.)

This interview talks about the editing of the polo match:

Nick [Moore], my new editor coming in, took a look and he says, “I wanna try something with that polo match.” He spent a weekend of his own time doing something, and then he was ready to show me. He sat me down and said, “I’ve done something crazy.”

And we went from filmed scripted scenes and a lead in, to "bagpipes intensify" and it works SO well for where these boys are in this new stage of their relationship.

Our establishing shots are of the teams, the horses, the uniforms. This is Henry's world and Alex is about to step into it (which is a reversal of Henry at the NYE party - I swear I will write that meta once I have all the gif posts I want to link to) and it's all quick cuts and sharp transitions and moving shots. The pace has been set for Alex to enter.

We pick him out in the crowd but he's lost as quickly as we spot him. He's one of many here and it's all too quick to stay with him.

Firstly, you will never convince me that he didn't pick the tightest trousers he could find. Henry's comment about him being a mouthful is foreshadowed, right there.

ANYWAY

He walks in, he's looking around, he's doing up his jacket as a form of protection. Alex is the proverbial fish out of the proverbial water (and I have a meta about water if you're interested) and we're straight back in with the quick edits. Horses, polo sticks, this is not a game most people know how to play. Alex certainly doesn't. He's doing up his jacket and he is uncomfortable.

He is not a stranger to a suit, and that is certainly not something that is ill fitting. It is circumstance, not clothing.

And then we get our first clear shot of Henry. Only it's not clear, not at first. He literally comes into focus.

Stick aloft, mouth open, like he's a walking riding metaphor.

And Alex's face changes.

Yeah. He is definitely not straight.

From then on we stay with Henry. We, in Alex's viewpoint, have found him. And so we track Henry through the game and it's just generic horse legs if we're looking at anything else. The only player we/Alex see is Henry.

Here, Henry is leading. Going in first, checking it's clear, knowing Alex will follow him. Henry leads, Alex follows. Into the garden, into the bed, into the sexual component of their relationship. Alex admits to Henry right from the start that this is new to him:

“I’ve, uh,” Alex begins. “I’ve never actually done this before.” “Alex,” Henry says, reaching down to stroke at Alex’s hair, “you don’t have to, I’m—” “No, I want to,” Alex says, tugging at Henry’s waistband. “I just need you to tell me if it’s awful.” Henry is speechless again, looking as if he can’t believe his fucking luck. “Okay. Of course.”

When it comes to being with a man? Henry leads, Alex follows.

And then the pacing and editing kicks off. We intercut to the tempo of the bagpipes between the match and the hook up and Henry is leading the charge on both.

He's in charge and Alex is LOVING it:

Turns out being on the receiving end of Henry’s royal authority is an extreme fucking turn-on.

This is risky and the most dangerous thing they have done so far. Amy walking in on them in the Red Room is one thing - book!Alex is VERY thankful for the staff NDAs when it comes to what they know about him and Henry - but neither of them care here. And Alex is very much letting Henry take the lead and set the pace.

Which, given how long Henry has wanted Alex, wanted this, and how he's not able to live and love (at this point) as openly as Alex is, giving Henry this control means that not only can Alex continue his education in this mlm era of his life, but he's giving Henry all of the freedom he can. God Bless America or something.

We intercut the make out scene with shots of things being hit, the hard slamming of one thing against another, of riders in saddles. The hands may be a metaphor for sex in the Paris scene but we have it here as well.

Alex is fully on board by this point and he's not letting Henry set the full agenda. In his White House bedroom we got the scene of Henry going down on Alex (and there is no way that it was a one-way exchange given how long they were there) so now? It's his turn.

My favourite editing choice?

We then cut to Henry's arse bouncing in that saddle. If the Paris scene is making love? This is them fucking. Henry is bouncing away, riding for all he's worth, chasing down his singular aim with precision and determination.

It's innuendo at its finest.

I love this shot. We're looking up at them - we're just like Alex who is now looking up at Henry due to his new vantage point (#NoLongerTaller) - and we see Alex is fully crowding up into Henry's space. And they are right by the door. There is no cover, no escape. Anyone coming in has fully caught them. Please let there be a PPO or a Secret Service be just outside. Please. For their sanity if not mine.

But even if there isn't for some insane reason, they don't care. They are so lost in each other, so caught up in this moment, that they aren't FSOTUS and the Prince Of Wales. They aren't boys with status and expectations. They're just two consenting adults who are testing the boundaries of what public indecency actually means.

They are really going for it now. Henry's arm is tensed with the effort of keeping Alex close, his hand is splayed on Henry's back to give him contact with more of him. They are not letting go. Diving all in like it's a nod to the Olympic event where they met in the book.

And when they come up for air it's because Alex is... well... about to go diving.

Those fingers make VERY quick work of the belt and what he is doing with his hands and those fingers is further evidence in the "this is them fucking" category.

And then the frame which I'm guessing inspired Cordelia's ask to me:

LOOK AT THAT FACE. Look at those fucking eyelashes. But Alex is wanting and he is wanting hard for Henry. Pun intended. He's got a plan for this, he's got a To Do list for those Very Bad Things he promised/threatened Henry with all those weeks ago.

And it will have been weeks. The State Dinner was around February time based on the texts (end of January at the latest) and then Henry says the polo match is "next month" (which would put it end of February, early March because we would not say 'next month' if it were next week, regardless of when the month starts) and so it's been weeks since they hooked up in Alex's room. Weeks of having to just text and email and maybe venture into video calls.

None of that would compare to being together.

This is the first time that Alex has gotten his hands on Henry since his bedroom and he's desperate to get more than his hands on him.

And this shot as Alex pulls Henry's trousers down is fucking pornographic. Matthew López, did you direct Nick to act like this or was it his choice? Go watch his expression as Alex is pulling the offending clothing out of the way and tell me that this isn't pornographic.

And then we cut to the not-at-all subtle shot of Henry well, making the shot. With ease and power and the ball shooting out of frame. Something something orgasm metaphor something release.

There's even a little wisp as he makes the shot. If this post isn't flagged for mature content I'll be surprised.

Next shot?

Congrats on not getting caught, on the sex, on the most smut-filled-while-almost-fully-clothed-sex scene I've ever had the joy of frame-by-framing through.

Alex is doing up his tie again but he's not uncomfortable. And Henry is so fucking happy I could cry. Because he just hooked up with this guy, in semi-public, and got away with it. They are firmly in Henry's world here, a world where he can't be out and proud, and he got to have something he wanted. And, maybe crucially, no one knows about it. His privacy is intact.

But more importantly, this thing he's got with Alex is something. It's not a one night stand. Alex came here specifically for him, because he asked him to. Because Alex wanted to see him, be with him. This wasn't an obligation, this wasn't something set up by anyone for show and to do damage control. This was for them, and them alone.

Look at these smug bastards. Look at them. Gettin' their rocks off and making puns about being hungry and eating like they didn't just devour each other.

BUT

I gotta bring the feels here 'cause it's me.

Henry attended the State dinner because he was expected to, because that was in place before the New Year's kiss. It was an obligation and in both the movie and the book he had been ghosting Alex. And then Alex grabbed him in the Red Room and they hooked up and at the end of that scene Henry nervously asks Alex if he wants to be his guest at the polo event. Alex doesn't actually say yes - he says he doesn't know how to play polo, there's a comment about it being safer if he's on the sidelines - but leaving aside any fear that he would stand Henry up this is the first time they have made plans with the intention of seeing each other, of being together in this way.

This is, for want of a better term, kinda like a date.

Alex turned up, Henry put out, and they're very much committing to seeing where this path will take them. (Forever. It'll take them to forever.)

Alex isn't straight, Henry is very much in love, and they're embracing that giddy phase of a relationship where you just can't keep your hands off each other. And we fade from this to Paris where they're on another kind of date and then there's another kind of sex scene and it's a speedrun of their relationship on screen like they weren't indulging in foreplay with all the text flirting.

Which, by the way, don't think I didn't notice that Henry's jersey number was 4. Four-play indeed.

(Thanks for this, Cordelia, I needed something like this to soothe my brain.)

#jen answers stuff #i-cordelia #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #prince henry of wales #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #firstprince meta #overthinking jen is overthinking #rwrb #otp: history huh #long post

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critter-of-habit · 4 months

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When I watched the new What If episode with Peggy & Nat I immediately thought of you, your art, and what your reaction would be. Especially since it was kind of a retelling of Captain America & The Winter Soldier.

What are your thoughts on the episode?

Seeing as you asked, I WILL TELL YOU MY MANY THOUGHTS. WITH PICTURES.

under the cut for length lol

First of all, as usual the animation, particularly the lighting, was incredible. Also the effects! The explosions, smoke, everything. Always blows me away how much effort and love these animators put in to What If.

I love that it's Winter Soldier based because by god do I love that movie - but I also love that it's so very different to my AU cos that means I can keep going with it lol.

Okay here we go with the highlights - Blatant flirting and showing off:

This???:

Just how in sync they were with every fight scene - even in the Battle of New York when they had only known each other for a few hours.

HEY LOVELY. LOVELY:

Angst. And how soft Nat is here:

"Hey, Peg. I got you."

Natasha's inability to sit in a chair properly:

Peggy making a star wars reference and Nat calling her out on it like .. Nat you RECOGNIZED the reference you're a nerd too

"You know I always wondered how you got all those GI Boys to follow a woman into war: question answered." ie. "I'm so into you right now":

This Natasha stabbed Dreykov to death with a corkscrew and I love her for it.

Natasha instinctively putting herself in between Peggy and Steve even though they're both twice her size

I've already mentioned but, the choice to focus on Natasha's face in this scene:

Nat's face here:

Natasha only getting taken down by the robots because her gay-Peggy-focused-ass gets distracted when Peggy runs off to protect Steve: (I'll come back to this point later as a negative)

MELINA.

Was anyone else looking to see if Yelena was there

"Let's unpack that later, shall we?"

"I don't know whether to kiss you, kill you, or dissect you." "Let me guess, all three?"

I bet the Captain Carter film was baby Nat's gay awakening lol:

Melina's glorious slo-mo "grandma, it's me, anastasia" coat drop:

Peggy running to save Nat T_T

These shots:

Nat wearing the same outfit from Winter Soldier:

Natasha "too-loyal-and-infatuated-for-her-own-good" Romanoff going along with Peggy again to look for Steve without even being asked. (in stark contrast to the end of Winter Soldier when Natasha did not go with Steve to look for Bucky, I might add)

New reaction image:

Peggy and Nat calling and reaching out to each other when the portal opens and ALMOST making it - then Natasha punching the ground in desperation T_T

These two look SO COOL and I can't wait for the 1602 episode.

Negative points:

Rehashing Ste/ggy all over again - we already HAD that and it was endgame, why do it again?

As much as I adore Natasha's intense loyalty, it's very one sided in this episode and I'm wondering if that's intentional. Peggy is hyperfocused on Steve and leaves Nat behind to run after him multiple times, even though he is in an entire suit of armor and is FINE and Natasha is the one actually getting injured. Then she's leaving at the end without saying goodbye to go find Steve again (despite there being no reason to think he's alive? he EXPLODED??) even though Natasha just went through a trauma too and shouldn't be abandoned. Kinda feels like Peggy is taking Natasha's always being there for granted and I really hope it's addressed in following episodes (though I doubt it will be - it'll just be Steve focused again -_- )

Okay I think I'm done. This was a LOT I'm not sorry I've been waiting for more content for SO LONG I can't wait for the rest of the episodes to rip my heart out and stomp on it :3

#Disclaimer because this is tumblr: I'm under no illusion that Peggynat will actually happen #but all their interactions FEED ME #peggynat #reply #critter rambles #long post #VERY long post I'm not sorry #what if...?#what if...? spoilers #what if #what if spoilers

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foxylady13 · 3 months

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Azriel and The Necklace

This is his reaction to putting the necklace on Elain:

He knew it was wrong, but there he was, sliding the necklace around her. Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin.

It had never gone this far. They'd exchanged looks, the occasional brush of their fingers, but never this. Never blatant, unrestricted touching.

Wrong -- it was so wrong.

He ends their interaction with saying their *almost* kiss was a mistake and clearly hurt Elain. He then finds the necklace in his gift pile the next morning. Which, to me, signals Elain rejecting Azriel and putting a stop to anything else between them.

This is the ending of the bonus chapter when he leaves the necklace with Clotho to give to Gwyn:

Clotho says: She deserves something as beautiful as this. I thank you for the joy it shall bring her. And what do we have after her saying this?

Something sparked in Azriel's chest, but he only nodded his thanks and left. He could picture it though as he ascended the stairs back to the House proper. How Gwyn's teal eyes might light upon seeing the necklace.... for whatever reason he could see it.

But Azriel tucked the thought away, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image deep down, where it glowed quietly.

A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

Which interaction has more positive connections attached to it? Which interaction leaves Azriel picturing how another woman eyes would light upon seeing it and has to consciously erase the slight smile it brings to his face? Which interaction has Azriel tucking the image away deep down where it glows quietly? Which interaction leaves Azriel with a happier feeling?

Now let's take a look at the necklace itself because it's interesting how the necklace is described.

The golden necklace seemed ordinary. It's chain unremarkable. The amulet tiny enough that it could be dismissed as an everyday charm. Small, flat rose fashioned of stained glass, designed so that when held to the light, the true depth of the colors would become visible.

A thing of secret, lovely beauty.

The golden faelight shone through the little glass facets, setting the charm glowing with hues of red and pink and white.

Let's dissect this for both Elain and Gwyn because I believe this necklace is a metaphor for who Azriel will *actually* end up with.

Elain - Elain mentions that needs Sunshine. She is mated to Lucien, the son of Helion who rules over the Day Court. The sun has golden rays, much like the necklace is golden. I believe that when she is with Lucien, her mate, her true depth will shine through.

And while yes, Azriel gave her a necklace that has a rose attached to it because she gardens, it's also described as ordinary and unremarkable so is it really that special of a gift for Elain and shows he knows her? When Lucien, her mate, has given her enchanted gloves that would protect her while she gardens and pearl earrings after she's worn pearl combs in her hair? And she's kept the gifts from her mate whereas once again she gave back the necklace.

Gwyn - She has coppery colored hair (or you know a redhead) which fits with the color within the charm. She glows when she sings and her inner light shines through, much like how the colors shine through when the charm glows. Gwyn can also put the charm on her bracelet and know one would know given it can be dismissed as an everyday charm.

The ending of the Bonus Chapter ends with Azriel thinking of Gwyn receiving the necklace and tucks the image deep down where it glows quietly. A thing of secret, lovely beauty. <----- this last part is quite significant and can't be easily dismissed given the connotations and how the necklace itself is described.

All in all, I truly believe Sarah has made it clear who Azriel love interest will be. She used the necklace itself to show us this and also how she worded things throughout the bonus chapter.

#pro elucien #pro gwynriel #gwynriel #elucien #azriel shadowsinger #gwyneth berdara #lucien vanserra #elain archeron #acosf #gwynriel supremacy #elucien endgame #gwynriel endgame #elucien supremacy #lucien and elain #azriel and gwyn #gwyn x azriel #elain x lucien #they are endgame and you can't tell me differently

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hwaitham · 21 days

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⸝⸝ ˙˳ ⑅ first piece of marginalia ( of many , hopefully :3 ) about eremite!al haitham && akademiya student!reader ♥︎ f!reader + not proofread + subtly implied trauma on both reader n haitham's end

you first meet the eremite who's to serve as your bodyguard throughout your research expedition on the day of your departure, at your designated meeting spot under the pavilion in pardis dhyai. its stone pillars cascade with vines of sumeru roses that shine a sweet lavender hue under the morning sun— one of which you've plucked and tucked into your hair earlier, leaning over the railing to gaze at your reflection in the pond and smile at the beauty of it.

(and a petal which has unknowingly slipped off and fallen to rest ever so delicately within the dip of your clavicle.)

“al haitham, yes? um, hello!” you greet the eremite as he walks into the pavilion with a quiet waver to your voice, bow respectfully, try to still the timid pitter-patters of your heart that only seem to worsen the longer you're in his presence.

because this man standing before you is large— tall, broad, as stunning as the pale blue moon. his upper body is strapped with tough sinew and yet his waist remains lean, torso mostly bare save for the pashmina shawl draped about his neck and the worn leather holster slung across his chest.

and he's silent. offering you only a small bow in return before giving you a quick once over, gait unhurried as he takes one, two long strides to stand by your side. it's an arduous task to bring yourself to look up at his face, but you do— lips parting in awe when you realise he's unlike any other desert eremite you've met before.

the trimmed red silk tied around his head shelters only one of his eyes.

how interesting, you think to yourself, for what you know of desert eremites is that they are convinced all things betray, even their own sight.

you bite your tongue to stop the questions that bubble and ebb at the forefront of your throat from tumbling past your lips, the innate scholarly need to learn and dissect and digest and know. a surprised little squeak escapes you instead when he turns his head and catches you staring, meeting your curious eyes with technicoloured cyan.

“is something the matter?”

“no, not at all! i'm sorry, i didn't mean to stare,” you flush hot under the intensity of his gaze, play with the flouncy sleeve of your blouse while you giggle nervously. you're unsure whether it's his size, or his beauty, or his quiet dominance that makes you feel much more shy than you'd like to feel, far too giddy— as if you're a little girl back in grade school.

“alright. shall we get going then? we're losing daylight with each second that passes.” al haitham holds a hand out in front of you, waiting expectantly.

you tilt your head in confusion and pout. what's he asking for? a tip? your hand?

“your bags?” he heaves a sigh, rests his other hand on his hip. you feel a hint of irritation in his words, and your heart wilts a little, “did you want me to carry them?”

“oh!” you exclaim in realisation before hoisting your travel bags further up your shoulders, force a reassuring smile on your lips. “it's okay, i couldn't possibly ask that of you. i can handle it myself, really!”

that couldn't be further from the truth, and al haitham sees right through it, with your shoulders hunched forward from the leaden weight of your bags slung atop them, the wince in your step as you walk towards the pathway, how you nearly topple over when you lose the slightest bit of balance.

“hey,” he pinches his brow, a certain roughness in his voice when he calls out to you that withers into something more gentle, tender after you turn to look at him. sweet and innocent and dewy-eyed. like a flower too frail, one whose stem may snap clean off if looked at the wrong way. “let me take them.”

al haitham doesn't allow you to protest, swiftly lifting your bags from your shoulders and holding onto them with ease, their weight nothing compared to what he's had to endure throughout the entirety of his life.

“it's my job to take care of you these next few weeks, and i intend to do it well.” he walks ahead of you, the longer mint strands of his hair swaying with the wind, the air around him lifting into something lighter— even if it's only by the most minute amount. “besides, you'll tip me generously if i do, won't you?"

his voice lilts mischievously, and you can only bring yourself to watch on in awe. nerves melting into excitement, cheeks warming not from timidness, but anticipation of what lies ahead in the next month— for your research, yes, but also for something closer to your heart.

a companion, a friend.

you smile a smile that reaches far past your eyes, bounding up to him with those clumsy fawn legs as you try to match his pace. two of your steps for one of his own. “of course i will, thank you so, so much! and i'll do my best to keep from making trouble for you— it'll make your job easier too, i hope!”

al haitham hesitates for a brief moment when you thank him so earnestly, so wholeheartedly, so unlike any of the other scholars he'd been commissioned to act as a guard for. with your smile so cloyingly sweet and your kindness so childishly naive, he can't help but feel a bit grim.

how much violence did it take for you to become this gentle?

the faintest of smiles— honeysuckle soft— curls up on his lips and he gives your head a single pat, sweeps the spare rose petal off of your clavicle, quietly wonders what he's gotten himself into by accepting this commission.

“silly girl. come, let's get going.”

#haitham ❤︎#&(*^&@)*(&& hieeee ! ! omgeeb so 🥺 this is how i imagine reader n haitham to meet in this au . .#i rllie like imagining alhaitham w someone who is more . . . gentle n naive n almost timid ?? like despite all The Horrors they are still #not worn down by it all ( or so it seems C; ) n remain tender towards the world #bcos . as we know . alhaitham is . . not exactly that . he is much more guarded n cautious after experiences frm his own life #+ also seeing what happens to others #so putting him with his ' diametric antithesis ' jus sounds rllie precious in my eyes 🥺🥺#how they cn learn frm each other ! show each other something they've never seen before 🥺#maybe fall a little in love in the process . . . WAAAH #anws :3 anywhosies :3 this is what this au is all about :3 n i hope ! ! ! i hope #if / when i continue to post lil blurbs about it #this is what u envision too :3 #WAH !#um um um ! ! 🥺 if u like this au or wnt to see more of it . . . then may i selfishly ask u to interact with this post ??#even a like is fine ! ! or u can tell me too !#'s just to gauge interest bcos rn i dont weally knowwww if anyone is interested in this besides like .#Me ><

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helpallthenamesaretakenblog · 24 days

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The Judo Flip Scene; The Scene that Divided the Percy Jackson Fandom: What Went Wrong?

Annabeth grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her shoulder. He slammed into the stone pavement. Romans cried out. Some surged forward, but Reyna shouted, “Hold! Stand down!”

Annabeth put her knee on Percy’s chest. She pushed her forearm against his throat. She didn’t care what the Romans thought. A white-hot lump of anger expanded in her chest—a tumor of worry and bitterness that she’d been carrying around since last autumn.

“If you ever leave me again,” she said, her eyes stinging, “I swear to all the gods—”

Percy had the nerve to laugh. Suddenly the lump of heated emotions melted inside Annabeth.

“Consider me warned,” Percy said. “I missed you, too.

-Mark of Athena

This scene is one of the, if not most, controversial scenes in the entirety of Rick Riordan's books. It has caused many fans to go deep into the morality of the scene--into the question of boundaries, whether it is just a good boundaries into Percy and Annabeth's relationships or just abusive behaviour. In this post, I will talk about my opinion on, 'What went wrong?'

First, let us dissect this scene, shall we? We have Annabeth, who has lost her only proof of permanence for six months. The guy she was dreading would die for five years before she thought they had their happy ending was suddenly snatched in a time where she thought life couldn't get any better. During this time;

she saw jason falling in love with piper and was stressed that percy would be doing the same without her

she was stressed percy would never even remember her.

she canonically spent hundreds and thousands of drachmas (and probably time too) on iris messaging every monster and god she could just so that she could find him

she spent a WHOLE lot of energy on this.

she was probably advised by people in camp to find another guy, probably got these comments regularly

she was also troubled by athena's roman form to find athena parthenos statue and ditch finding percy, which must have been hard to handle

she was in charge of helping build a WHOLE WAR SHIP

she was also in charge of rebuilding the home of the gods

And you know what? It makes sense that she would have all of these emotions buried inside her. It makes sense that she would be angry, stressed, and depressed and that she would bury all of this inside. "During their separation, something had happened to Annabeth’s feelings. They’d grown painfully intense—like she’d been forced to withdraw from a life-saving medication. Now she wasn’t sure which was more excruciating—living with that horrible absence, or being with him again" Yep, homegirl was going through some stuff.

Though we don't know what his thoughts were on his point of view, from the fact that he laughs and never brings it up later, we can conclude that Rick wanted us to know that he didn't care, and that these interactions are common between both of them, though one could argue that isn't really reliable.

So; Annabeth having an outburst of emotions is a completely normal reaction, judging the amount of things she has gone through, even though it isn't the right way to express her feelings. But, why is the judo flip scene actually bad? Why did it give even percabeth shippers the ick?

The Way Rick Wrote It: Rick treated the scene as if it was funny, Annabeth was such a girly girlboss who did it to keep Percy in his place. "I only judoflip my boyfriend". And people were mad. Mad that girls are portrayed to be girlbosses by making them violent. Mad that this violence was against a guy who was implied to be abused in his childhood.

My Argument: This scene was written in a time where media with violent comedy was popular among kids (tom and jerry, oggy and the cockroaches, i see you), and that it aged badly. Another important thing: a lot of the fandom also thought of it as percabeth's most romantic moments, and hyped it up so much, which contributes towards the whole ick of the scene.

My Argument: One thing to take into account was that the romans were really on guard when the greeks arrived. they were scared it was going to be an ambush. so when annabeth judoflips percy, their nerves took over. i fully believe the humor of 'i only judoflip my bf' was just their way of diffusing a potentially dangerous situation of misunderstanding.

But in the end I do agree, the way this was written was a major disservice to the feelings that Annabeth was experiencing that time. Rick failed to portray that scene as an exhausted traumatised teenager having an unhealthy outburst of emotions, which is what it really was. Instead, he tried to make it a funny type of scene, and the fandom carried it forward by hyping the scene up as if it was one of percabeth's most romantic moments, and even though the intentions were good, he failed to convey the meaning behind what they said properly.

So now that we've answered the question this post was made for, I'd like to end this post with a positive note. I'd like to point out that in cotg, there is no moment that annabeth physically hurted (hurted is too much of an overstatement) percy if you think about it, which shows that she has improved. If you want proof, I searched any time where Annabeth teased percy physically when he said something 'stupid' and what I found was 'nudged me with her toe' and 'lightly pinched me'. So, even though Rick messed up in writing that one scene more than ten years ago, it's safe to say he has improved.

****************************************************************

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its-avalon-08 · 20 days

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hearts intertwined (hamilton x sister! driver!rosberg) pt2

chapter two: look what you made me do

warnings - none at all

series so far - pt1

The tension in the drivers' briefing room was thicker than the stale coffee being served. The initial shock of Y/N's arrival had subsided, replaced by an awkward curiosity. The drivers, used to the same faces, were eager to understand the new dynamic.

Sebastian Vettel, ever the diplomat, cleared his throat. "So, Y/N, what brings you to Red Bull? Surely you had some other offers?"

Y/N's smile held a hint of steel. "Let's just say I like a challenge. And besides," she glanced at Max, a playful glint in her eyes, "Max here promised to teach me how to properly drift a Red Bull."

Max snorted, a mock look of horror on his face. "Oh god, help me. You'll have Christian pulling his hair out in a week." Laughter erupted, the tension easing slightly.

"Seriously though," Charles chimed in, "who influenced you to get into F1? Any racing heroes?"

Y/N's smile softened. "Actually, my biggest inspiration has always been my brother."

A hush fell over the room. All eyes darted towards Lewis, who sat rigidly in his chair, his jaw clenched.

"Nico gave me incredible advice, pushed me to my limits, and always believed in me. No major racing company looked at me as a child considering I was a girl. Nico gave me all the confidence I have today and I owe it all to him," Y/N continued, oblivious to the undercurrent of tension.

Lewis scoffed, a barely audible sound, but enough for everyone to hear. "Cheating motherfucker," Lewis muttered soft enough to not be audible but loud enough to know that he said something

Y/N's smile vanished, replaced by a glacial stare. "Something you want to share, Lewis?" she drawled, her voice dripping with saccharine sweetness. "Perhaps some… helpful pointers on how to lose gracefully?"

The room erupted in gasps. Lewis' face turned a deep shade of crimson. He opened his mouth to retort, but Sebastian intervened before a full-blown argument could erupt.

"Alright, alright, let's keep things civil, shall we?" he chuckled nervously.

The media pounced on the exchange like vultures on carrion. Headlines screamed of a brewing 'Rosberg Revenge', with Y/N's comment dissected and twisted into a declaration of war.

Back in the Red Bull garage, Y/N rolled her eyes at the news articles Max shoved in her face. "Honestly, these people wouldn't know drama if it bit them in the ass"

Max grinned. "Schat just focus on the race, Y/N. Don't let Lewis get to you."

Y/N snorted. "Don't worry, Max. The only thing Lewis will be getting this season is a taste of defeat."

The competitive fire in her eyes burned bright, fueled by a mix of raw talent and a burning desire to not just win, but to prove Lewis wrong. The stage was set for a season unlike any other, a season where sibling rivalry would take center stage, and the battle lines were already drawn.

credits for gif - @lewishamiltongifs

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holewithinahole · 10 months

Text

Brown and Green | Olivia Octavius x Reader

Summary: After the accident with the collider, you end up on Earth 1610 in the Alchemax building. Dr Olivia Octavius is here to greet you. You can't help but notice all the resemblances with your own Octavius.

Ao3 Link

Warnings: shameless smut, no genitalia specified, no pronouns specified (reader), tentacle sex, restraints, orgasm denial, overstimulation, fantasising, non-native writer

I hesitated posting it here, but we don't post non-beta'd shit to be a coward. I wrote this in a few hours and took three days to resign myself and just post it. But after seeing Across the Spider-Verse, I had to re-watch the first one and I was, once again, hit in the face by my bisexuality and my obsession towards Dr Octavius. Tell me I'm not the only one...

Oh, reader is part of the Spider-Verse, I wrote with no gender nor genitalia in mind, I hope everyone can enjoy it!

Ok. Let’s do this one more time, shall we?

My name? Not really important because for the last few years, I’ve been the one and only Spiderman. You all know the story by now: being bitten by a radioactive spider which suddenly allows you to skip workout, the loss of a loved one... The usual Spidey-stuff.

I shoot my webs; I swing from Brooklyn to Queens to the Bronx to stop supervillains, rescue cats stuck in trees and help your grandma cross the road.

One day as I was doing my super-work, something weird happened: a flash of light and boom, I was in New York. But not my New York, a new New York. As for where I crashed, well–

“You seem tensed, Spiderman.”

You can feel your bones crack as those weirdly smooth, plastic-y tentacles wrap tighter and tighter around you.

“You, ow–” you hiss, out of breath. “You could say that.”

A shimmering laugh answers you and it’s just so weird. But after all, what could you expect from a parallel universe? You still have a hard time wrapping your head around the whole concept of dimension warping… and alternate versions of your enemies.

“What did you say your name was?”

“Dr Olivia Octavius.” She draws closer, that ridiculously hot smirk at the corner of her lips.

Fuck, can you concentrate for once?

“It sounds like you already knew the answer,” she says. With her free hands, she pulls her curly hair up, rebellious strands framing her face. Is amazing hair a multi-universal law for all Doc Ocks?

“‘Can’t say that I did–” you pause as long gloved fingers slide under the edge of your mask. “Hey! That’s a no-no, lady!”

She snaps the mask right off your face, an interested glimmer in her eyes. You feel like a mouse spread apart for dissection and she sure looks ready to whip out a scalpel. Was she really hiding a complete latex suit underneath her clothes? Not to be the one to pat supervillains on their shoulders to congratulate them on a job well done, but she really mastered the inconspicuous chemistry teacher cosplay.

Focus.

“It is quite fortunate that your portal opened here,” Octavius says conversationally as she readjusts her gloves. “I would have hated to run after you everywhere in the city.”

“Oh, you know me.” Your shrug looks like an uncontrolled twitch of your shoulder. “Always glad to help.”

“Indeed,” she chuckles. She grabs your face, inspecting it from every angle, ignoring your string of offended words. At the corner of your eye, an actuator reaches for a– ah, there is the scalpel. “Now…”

Oh hell no…

“Hey! Hey lady–“ Struggling is pointless and the more you try, the more she grins. “Olivia– can I call you Liv’?”

Octavius laughs. “Only my friends call me Liv.”

“We can be friends I’m sure.” You make sure to put on your best smolder. It looks painfully ineffective. “Or, you know, we can come to an arrangement.”

She raises an eyebrow at that but doesn’t answer. She’s not considering it, is she? That’d be a lucky day for the smolder – not that it doesn’t usually work of course (It doesn’t.) You keep smiling but her slow approach makes all your senses – spider and regular, tingle. It takes all of your brain power to tame your fight-or-flight response and not recoil as much as you can.

Are you seriously sweating right now?

“Oh, that’s rich.” Her smile is predatory. “Is it a usual Spiderman tactic to try to seduce their enemies?”

The actuators tighten even more around your torso. The discreet cough you let out widens her smile.

Toothy.

“Perhaps not in your universe.”

You’re relieved when the scalpel is dropped carelessly on the table behind her. Even more relieved when the tentacles lessen their grip around you. Your relief is soon replaced by surprise as one of them curls slowly around your left leg. It’s definitely better than being cut open, right?

“Alright, little spider.” Octavius stares down at you. “I’ll entertain the idea.”

Right?

In a blur, she steps in between your legs, helped by the arm holding your limb hostage. “And to answer your question…” Her hand comes to rest in the dip of your hip, feeling up muscles under her fingertips. Somehow it’s this simple gesture that sends a strong shiver through your nervous system.

“You can call me ‘Doctor’ from now on.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Liv.” The actuator tightens around your throat. “Doctor!”

A low laugh answers you. And that’s just not fair. Octavius has you in the most vulnerable state you’ve ever been in. Except perhaps that time when you had to face Captain Stacy, near the corpse of your bestfrie— oops, no, wrong mind folder. The most physically vulnerable you’ve ever been then.

“You never stop talking, do you?”

Earlier, Octavius had taken all the time in the world to push your arms out of your suit, her actuators handling you like a puppet, until your torso was bare for her to enjoy. You did try to yank at the tentacles keeping both your arms secured behind your back but thanks to whatever kind of sick machinery she put in them, they just wouldn’t budge. You were genuinely impressed at the technology allowing those arms to both be flexible and unbreakable. Even your Octavius had to favor titanium steel when he built his own.

The actuator that isn’t wrapped around your throat – a menacing yet tantalizing statement, or holding your limbs down, creeps from the top of your thigh to your chest, not unlike a viper chasing for its food.

Ah yes, the situation at hand.

“To be fair,” you huff. “You love to hear yourself talk as well.”

“You seem to know a lot about me, little spider.” Her hand travels from your hip to the underside of your right thigh. “Altercations with my alter-self then?”

You chuckle, a breathy fucking embarrassing thing. “Oh, plenty.”

Your suit pools uncomfortably at the bottom of your stomach, the sleeves flapping underneath you. It must be so practical to have strong mechanical arms capable of holding your enemy one meter above the ground without even breaking a sweat. But you feel way too warm. Isn’t it hot right now? Isn’t she hot?

Oh, she definitely is, submit your traitorous mind.

“I’m sure we must have been tormenting you intensely.” She giggles, examining a large scar running from your pectoral to your lower belly. With a finger, she traces it like words on paper.

“That’s from you, actually.”

Your Octavius had looked so smug when it happened.

She looks up, smirking. “His actuators are way more pointy than yours,” you explain.

The double-entendre doesn’t go unnoticed, but she doesn’t comment. “Actuators, uh? I haven’t heard this denomination in a while, since my research paper on radioactivity in fact.”

“Yeah, I did my homework.”

You exhale shortly when the teasing actuator wrapped itself around your middle section allowing the others to tug at your suit. Octavius stopped her reverential petting to observe the spandex clinging to your skin, slowly displaying your legs and your underwear-clad pelvis like an exhibit. A free one at that, with free food and everything.

“So,” Octavius asks after discarding the suit to a corner of the room. “What’s the name of my counterpart?”

Both her hands come resting on your legs again. “Otto,” you mutter through clenched teeth.

“Funny,” she says, taking her sweet time feeling your backside muscles. She likes to grope, doesn’t she? “That’s the name of my father.”

Your nose wrinkles. “Ew, what a way to kill the mood, lady.”

Strangely, she doesn’t mention your slip, simply laughing while resting her palm on your– nether regions. The mood is far from being killed however judging by the humiliating wetness spreading through your underwear. She presses her palm down a little forcefully, and you moan loudly. Raising an eyebrow, it’s with a certain – perhaps misplaced – curiosity that she alternates between stroking up and down and toying with the tips of her fingers any potentially sensitive region. And you can’t contain the noise.

To be fair, you’ve never really been ashamed of anything.

There’s a daze settling in your mind, a fog behind your eyes as you only focus on the diffuse pleasure settling down there. You’re pulsating, every blood vessel tight, engorged as a blush spreads on your skin. You’re drifting, fuck– you’re so–

“Eyes on me, sweetheart.”

You don’t have time to reflect on the fact that you obeyed so eagerly because her touch's gone and it's the only thing you can focus on at the moment. She knows that too because her smugness is plastered all over her face – some things never change, and you want to cum all over her arrogant little smile.

“That’s–” you struggle to catch your breath. “So uncool.”

“The arrangement is you get out of here alive and I,” Octavius smirks. “get to do what I want with you.”

The shiver that travels through you speaks volumes. So the key to the ultimate fuck was ‘travel to a parallel universe’ all along? Talk about a joke.

“Now.” She straightens up, towering over you. “Tell me a little more about your Otto.”

The tentacles raise you higher in the air, pushing your hips at almost eye-level to Octavius.

“Self-centered much?” You joke, trying to ignore the actuator crawling along your leg.

“Curious,” she replies, enjoying the show. “You didn’t go around flexing those beautiful muscles in front of his face, did you?”

“What–” You try not to blush but fuck– it’s hard to concentrate when there’s the equivalent of an alien tentacle nuzzling you through your underwear. “Hey! I’m a very respectable – ah!, person ok?”

She laughs loudly at that. “It’s not a no, is it?”

“It’s part of the job!” You huff, avoiding eye contact. “Nothing ever happened with Otto. I care about my life, you know.”

“But not enough to avoid trying your ridiculous seduction tactics on me?”

You wonder if there’s a sliver of internalized misogyny reprimanded somewhere but, in your defense, the smooth head of the actuator now slowly creeping towards your opening is hard not to focus on.

“Worth a shot?” you pant.

You let out a surprised groan as the rough feeling of your underwear breaches your entrance, pushed inside by the blunt head of the mechanical arm. Not nearly enough to truly be inside but the movement is a warning at worst, a promise at best.

For fuck’s sake, listen to yourself.

As the actuator keeps pushing against your hole, you’re assaulted by the wet sound your garment does as it moves. It’s reminiscent of your evenings alone in your shitty apartment when you have enough time to tease the shit out of you. And as Octavius’ hand is back on your crotch, sensations and recollections drive you mad, spilling moans and gasps from your open mouth. Are you going to cum just like this? Groped through your pants and your hole teased like a fucking teenager? You’re too old for that.

Octavius hums to herself, observing you and cataloguing all your reactions as she would do for her research. Her undivided attention on you is exhilarating, and you watch her through half-lidded eyes wishing you could see the curious glint in those wide brown pupils.

What the fuck?

“You seem out of it, Spiderman.” She chuckles. “Drifting away?”

You gulp. “You could say that.”

It’s like she can see right through you. “Fuck– I’m–”

She suddenly disengages, leaving you once again panting, muscles tensed under smooth plastic. “Oops,” she giggles. “Butterfingers.”

You can only stare, heart skipping a beat. She couldn’t possibly have–

“Let me help you with that.”

In seconds, she discards you of any remaining pieces of clothing, holding you upright in all your naked glory. Still dizzy from everything, the touches, the words, you don’t say anything.

“Well then.” She tilts her head to the side. “Spider got your tongue?”

As latex-clad fingers dip inside your mouth before you can even muster a clever answer, you let out a moan, obsessed with the slick feeling of spit on her gloves. Lost in thought, a smooth arm soon takes its rightful place on your groin, pocking, rubbing and your sex glistens, sticky and sensitive to the air. Octavius keeps pressing her fingers down your tongue, sampling every single strand of your DNA when she pulls them away. Now that she’s so close, you can see her green eyes through her goggles. Wait, green?

“Have I finally broken you, little spider?”

Her laugh is supposed to be taunting but it just releases another spike of arousal through your whole body as if she somehow managed to alter your genes, confuse every nerve. Your entire self had changed with a single bite from a radioactive spider, who said you couldn’t go through the same process all over again?

“Not by a long shot,” you chuckle breathlessly.

“If I’d known it’d be this easy…” Her wet fingers graze against a hard nipple and you bite your tongue to not release another embarrassing noise. “Perhaps your Otto should take lessons.”

You let out a breathy moan, weak against the surge of all those sensory attacks and perhaps from the superposition of brown and green, tiptoeing the leyline linking her universe to yours. Unlike him, she seems to see right through you, deciphering the codex of your fantasies with a single look.

“You should describe him to me.”

“What?” you sutter. “What for–”

The twist sears through you, making your knees shake, pleasure distorting pain. The actuator against your throat tightens imperceptibly, just enough to make you remember its presence.

“Come on,” she whispers. “Are we alike?”

You scoff. “Not at all. He’s…”

A pain in the ass. Always in the way, always stealing money, always speaking about grand schemes and higher purposes. Completely mad, a total whacko, undeniably intelligent, brilliant–

“Tall.”

It makes her laugh. The touch of the actuators against your feverish skin is almost enough to cool it down. “And?”

“Uh, large?” you mutter. “He’s like a mountain or– something…”

One hand keeps playing with your nipples as the other traces random figures along your stomach which, you realize, aren’t random at all but just the complex network of your battle marks. When she runs a finger along the scar adorning your torso, you gasp softly and her gaze is all-knowing. Octavius drives you insane, and you’ll soon be complete putty in her hands, using your body as she pleases while you’re assaulted with visions of large hands and uncovered skin.

“He has uh…”

Get a fucking grip.

“Uh, he has short brown hair.”

You realize that her spit-covered fingers have travelled all the way down when she uncaringly presses a digit inside. Breath knocked out of your chest, you still hiss at the dry and unpleasant sensation but the lone actuator is quick to distract you again. When you think you had enough time to gather all your unholy thoughts and the remnants of your oxygen, her finger is joined by another, spreading you open.

“What else?” she asks, focused on her task.

You sigh, annoyed. “He has brown eyes–”

The actuator’s head suddenly splits open, revealing four small appendages and the opening of the tube that controls it. It stares at you, almost mocking, and you can’t take your eyes off it before it starts to dip down.

“Wait, wait, what do you think you’re doing–”

The echo of Octavius’ laugh is registered far at the back of your mind as the arm traps the entirety of your sex like the mouth of a carnivorous plant on a powerless bug. You feel it suck, making you throb, sputtering everywhere. The rippling of the plastic membrane makes it look alive as if it was waiting to swallow everything your body has to offer.

“Whe– where they even– fuck!, designed for th–ah!”

Octavius retreats her fingers, laughing again before getting rid of her right glove with her teeth. You try not to dwell on how filthy it is.

Fuck, it’s the filthiest thing you’ve ever seen.

The suction on your crotch increases and now you can only pant, gasp and droll everywhere. It's a sensation like no other, making you ignore everything else. Nails dip in your cheeks as Octavius grabs your chin to look at you, pride of your current state written all over her face.

“His eyes, you said?”

You want to kill her. “His– eyes?”

“Yes.” She giggles. “I don’t think you finished your sentence.”

You want to kiss her.

The actuator around your throat releases you, leaving you gasping for air. But your relief is brief as it soon slides against your loosened hole, slowly but surely pressing in.

‘They’re– they’re,” you stutter, arching towards her, brain devoid of any coherence. “Brown?”

She grips your face more forcefully and every sensation suddenly comes to a stop. “Have your brain already melted through your ears?”

You whine. “Ok, ok– they’re big, too gentle even–”

She smiles, a predatory thing. Aren’t spiders supposed to be predators? One good, strong suction on your crotch has you moaning so loudly you’re afraid all Achemax will come running in. “Beautiful– he’s–”

The actuator pushes inside smoothly, leaving you a shaking mess, split apart by the chaos of sensations running underneath your skin. No casual sexual encounter could have ever brought you to such a delightful, painfully aroused state. Your senses are attacked, assaulted from every direction as you’re watched, dissected under the gaze of an enemy. Octavius takes immense pleasure watching you completely surrender to her, and you can’t not picture the smug crooked smile of her counterpart in the wrinkles at the corner of her lips. There’s a lot that you could question about yourself if you hadn’t left your higher brain functions under the hands – and the tentacles, of a magnificent opponent.

“I think you have some self-reflection to do, little spider.”

You register the press of her lips late. Still holding your chin in a death grip, she kisses you like a snake strikes its prey. Eyes rolling back as she sinks her teeth into your lower lip, you arch strongly towards her, arms hurting for being held down for so long, legs spasming and chest heaving. Her tongue plunges into your mouth and she sucks at your lips not unlike how her actuators pump in and out of you, suck you dry, drive you insane…

Suddenly, she draws back, exhaling harshly against your reddened lips and you can feel her body moving forward. You only have the time to register that her hips are trusting against the actuator stuck to your crotch before she grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls harshly.

“Come on,” she pants in the crook of your neck. “Break down, sweetheart.”

You come like this, lightning travelling up your spine as you release on the mouth of the actuator, overstimulated by the trusts inside of you and the feeling of Octavius’ teeth on your skin. You spasm like an insect trapped in a web, a mouse constricted by the body of a python, arching, trusting your hips up over and over as the arm milks your orgasm out of you. Your throat is raw, your tongue is heavy and all your muscles scream from overuse but you just can’t stop coming, wetness spreading against your groin. When the actuators finally move away, you drip all over the floor, as your sex pulses, crimson red and spent.

Breathing air like it’s the first time, you try your best to calm your beating heart as you’re finally free from the arms’ grip, lowered on a nearby chair. Octavius lets out a sigh, tugging a rebellious strand of hair behind her ear.

“Oh well.” She smiles. “Good, very good.”

She throws your suit at your face. “You better run, little spider.”

“Uh?” You put it back, ignoring the uncomfortable stickiness between your thighs.

“This is my gift to you,” she says, putting on a clean glove. “You have five minutes before I hunt you down and use your body for my experiments.”

You laugh awkwardly, voice rough as you limp through the room. “I’ll be gone then. See ya, Doc!”

The giggle she lets out is hunting. As you swing away to central New York, the traces of her abuse all over your body, you think about your Octavius.

Perhaps you’ll try a new technique next time you meet.

#olivia octavius x reader #dr octavius x reader #otto octavius x reader #olivia octavius #into the spiderverse #spiderverse imagine #spiderman imagine

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paviastrashyrings · 3 months

Note

yaoi please . idc who just yaoi please

Well allow me to preface this by clarifying that this is a x reader blog, and due to you not caring who, this is perfect real estate for me to write about Horropedia. I just got him to insight 2 and I am very happy with his alternate appearance.

So join me now, dear readers, in a sweet dream of our favorite Nerdy nerd.

Spending a night in with Horropedia

He invited you to a "horror movie watch party", and by party he meant you and him and the others that he invited that wouldn't show.

He never really did mind the others not showing, horror movies were not everyones cup of tea, but you showed up?

Oh, hes over the moon. "Wow! you even brought snacks for us" he would invite you in with a big doofy smile, taking the bag of snacks you brought in so that he could lay them out in a nice container with different sections so none of the flavors or seasonings mixed. Instead of a grand party, there lay a pillow fort on the floor in front of his T.V with a stack of classics queued up for the marathon.

He is collected to the naked eye, calm and polite, but inside? Shaking with pure joy, especially if you listen to his open plot dissections of the movies he laid out.

He wanted you to choose, even if he's watched all of them already, and of course he'd give a recommendation of what to watch.

If you had a favorite? Hes more than happy to watch it with you, but be ready for discourse on scenes he was either impressed by or not impressed with.

He would never discourage you for liking a movie that was not of his tastes, he knows better than anyone what that feels like and would never wish that upon you let alone be the cause of it.

Engage him in polite discourse or rant about the lore of a horror franchise you like and he'll listen and join in, overjoyed to have found a conversation partner that actually enjoys horror too.

Now dear readers, for a sweeter dream, Romance with our beloved nerd.

He is not really a physical touch person to begin, preferring quality time over touch to build trust and comfort.

Laughing with you and sharing snacks with you in the pillow fort over the course of a few movie nights had made him warm up to the idea.

He would be the first to ask if he could initiate physical touch first, wanting to initiate it for his own comfort but allowing it to be a choice.

"Can you give me your hand for a moment?" he would ask, and if you gave him your hand he'd smile and hold it gently in his.

The type of person to draw gentle patterns into your palm, non-repetitive motions to avoid discomfort. He never let his fingers linger on the same spot of your palm for too long.

If you wish to initiate physical touch first, please spare him the same courtesy of asking, allow him to prepare himself to be touched even if it is for a moment.

Holding hands beneath the blanket, reaching over to play with his hair, just small touches and soft laughter; hushed voices whispering "shh! its my favorite part.."

You wondered for a moment how he thought he could fit more than two people in the pillow forts he made.

In reality, he only counted on you coming, hoping that you always did. He would never admit it though <3.

Yet another soft end to a sweet dream, dear readers. Now it is time to close your eyes, breathe in deep, and relish the feeling of freedom in the time that you find rest. I will wait till you find me once more, and then again we shall dream.

Until then, signed yours truly

Moon.

#reverse 1999 #reverse 1999 x reader #horropedia #r1999 x reader #r1999 #rev1999 #horropedia x reader #gn reader #x reader #r1999 horropedia

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delirious-donna · 4 months

Text

chapter 5: Dinner Dilemmas

Story Masterlist

pairing: Kakashi Hatake x female reader

warnings: SFW (NSFW in later chapters), no warnings for this chapter, only flirting and fluff, mention of explicit reading material (we all know what that means)

wc: 4.3k

synopsis: Kakashi Hatake, newly appointed Hokage, is struggling with transitioning from active duty to being sat behind a desk. Sure, he might not be placing his life on the line every day but perhaps now is the time he puts something else out there instead, his heart.

Meanwhile, things aren’t quite adding up. There is a discrepancy in the records that cannot be explained, and it falls to you to investigate. Never did you expect it would lead you to the door of the Hokage’s office, a man you had admired from a safe distance until now. What happens next leads you into a closely guarded secret that will change the rest of your life.

In a story where the past might be harder to let go of than usual, can two strangers find a semblance of happiness and peace?

beta reader: a huge thanks to @angelic-muse for being an amazing beta and friend! <3

The door looked no less intimidating this time around, in fact, it was even more so, and you shook like a leaf caught in an autumn wind. Two days had passed since that fateful encounter with the infamous Kakashi Hatake and in that time he had barely left your thoughts.

At first, you had considered telling no one about the dinner invitation, but after a sleepless night and turning up to work looking as if you had been dragged through a hedge backwards, you had relented. It would have been stupid to pretend that you were alright when questioned by your closest friend, the dark circles beneath your eyes and the dishevelled state of your clothes were a dead giveaway that all was not right.

You dissected the interaction from every possible angle—without revealing the details of your assignment—and it was your friend’s opinion that this was indeed a date. That thought was almost worse than still feeling somewhat confused by the situation, because if it was a date then that meant there was more than a possibility that Kakashi actually liked you, and that was insane.

Glancing down, you eyed the simple charcoal grey dress you wore. It highlighted the curve of your waist, flaring at your hips and falling to your knees. There was no way that you had selected this specific dress because the colour reminded you of the colour of a certain Hokage’s eyes, absolutely not and no one could prove it.

Suddenly, a muffled voice sounded from the other side of the ominous door, forcing you to take a step back in alarm.

“Are you going to knock, or shall we stand here a little longer?”

Trust him to have been alerted to your presence despite your attempts at the lightest of footsteps. Now you felt like a fool, for how long had you stood there pondering what to say or do? Had he been waiting on the other side of the door all this time? Probably considering how sane you could be if this was how you conducted yourself and reconsidering his invitation to dinner. You wouldn’t blame him.

You ground down your molars, lifting your hand only to narrow your eyes at the fist that trembled. The knock was lighter than you intended, though it was far from necessary now. Barely a second passed before the door swung open and even in the face of the man you were quickly becoming infatuated with, you managed to scowl up at him.

It earned you an amused chuckle, and that only made it worse. Your eyes closed whilst you took a calming breath, he might be the hottest man you had ever laid eyes on but that didn’t mean he couldn’t also be a little infuriating.

“How long were you standing there?”

“Do you really want to know the answer to that?” Kakashi quipped back, his head falling to the side and smiling that annoyingly adorable closed-eye smile of his.

Not for the first time did you wish for the ground to open and swallow you whole. The burn of embarrassment stained your cheeks a deep pink even through the light make-up you’d applied nervously in the bathroom only an hour prior.

“Goodbye…”

You made to turn on your heel, to retreat as swiftly as you could and chalk this entire situation up to a memory that would haunt you in the years to come, but you were halted. A hand reached around your wrist, slender fingers, rough in texture closed gently against your skin and you felt the zip of energy travel from where his fingers touched you right through your hand and up your arm.

Nervous eyes turned back towards him, the expression on his face evidence enough that he had felt it too. Silver eyebrows lifted high enough to become obscured by his hair and grey eyes wide in a perplexed look that had you swallowing thickly.

Kakashi hesitated for a moment. What on earth was that feeling that had shot through his hand? It was a redundant question, he had decades of experience with lightning and the electricity that brewed from not only the sky.

His hand fell away now that he was sure you weren’t going to attempt to run out on him. He chose to ignore the flare of panic that had ignited in his chest as you uttered that annoyed goodbye, focusing on the softness that edged your eyes as you stared at one another. Each knowing the other had felt that sensation just as strongly as they had, but unknowing what to say about it or if they should even speak it into existence.

It certainly wasn’t the way he had expected this dinner date to begin, but where was the fun in the standard when you could have literal sparks of energy connecting you both?

“Can we start again?” he asked softly, running the hand that had moments ago been wrapped around your wrist through his hair. “You look… lovely.” The pause was unintentional, an acceptable word to describe what he saw in you stuck in his throat.

Kakashi reminded himself of the lengthy pep talk he had given himself in the bathroom mirror this morning. He was your boss; this really wasn’t a normal situation, and he needed to tread carefully. The soft grey of your dress suited your complexion and the hue of your hair, it was casual enough not to look out of place, but the style complimented you.

He wanted to say you looked beautiful, that the kohl sweeping your lashes and the pastel pink of your lipstick was unnecessary, you didn’t need it–any of it–but he refrained. Opting to gesture for you to turn with him and begin the journey to his home.

The wild pound of your heart had yet to die down.

So many emotions within the space of a two-minute interaction–irritation, embarrassment, surprise, excitement, gratitude–you had experienced them all and what would usually take you many hours of inner contemplation had to be swept aside in favour of the moment in front of you.

The walk from the Hokage’s office out onto the streets of Konoha had been uneventful, giving you a few minutes of peace and the opportunity to glance at Kakashi standing by your side. He appeared dressed in a similar way to how you had always seen him in the tower, yet there were subtle differences.

His forehead protector was missing, as were the fingerless gloves that you were ashamed to admit had been a prominent feature of many a wayward daydream. You were grateful not to have passed anyone who might have questioned why you were accompanying the Hokage this evening, and more so for the cool evening breeze that diffused a little of the heat from your skin.

Your fingers twisted together in front of your body, peeking sideways long enough to catch Kakashi’s eye and blurting out words so as not to appear as if you had been ogling him. “It was dinner you invited me to, right?”

Only now that you were headed further and further from the main hustle of the village did you realise that he had never elaborated on where this dinner would take place. You were venturing towards more residential streets and even the houses that lined your path became sparse with each subsequent step taken.

“Right, dinner. I hope you don’t mind that I planned to cook for you myself. I’m a rather good cook but I don’t always make the effort if I’m only cooking for myself.”

That would mean… surely not.

“We’re having dinner in your home?” you squeaked, the wringing of your fingers intensifying.

Kakashi chuckled and the sound was like a ripple of water in a once perfectly still lake, mesmerising and it tingled at the base of your neck. His elbow jostled lightly into your arm, not enough to knock you off balance but enough to be reminded of how close he was to you.

“Well… yes. The alternative is that I feed you whilst you stand outside, but that doesn’t sound all too comfortable for you,” he joked, adopting that lazy smile once more.

He watched as you visibly stiffened. It was endearing as well as concerning and perhaps he had miscalculated. You had known him for all of two minutes and he was inviting you into his home. It made perfect sense to him; Kakashi always felt more at ease and relaxed within the four walls of his house but you weren’t to know that.

“Ah. I’m sorry if that’s come as a shock, I simply find it easier to be myself when I’m not being watched. It’s hard to go out to dinner and not have people stop by to chat or say hello. I’d like for this evening to be a chance for you and me to get to know one another without worrying about interruptions.”

That made sense, it really did. You nodded your understanding and yet it did little to untangle the mass of writhing knots in the depths of your stomach. You were going to be inside his house, Kakashi’s house… the Hokage’s house.

“It’s fine. Pretty sure that if I’m to put my trust in someone, you’re a safe bet, Lord Sixth,” you teased with a wink. You were unsure where your nerve had come from but you wouldn’t question it when it boosted your confidence to see the light pink dust the tops of his cheeks, the sliver of skin visible above his ever-present mask.

Kakashi cleared his throat. “Kakashi, please. Don’t make me ask you again.”

“Kakashi,” you conceded. Testing the weight of his name upon your tongue, feeling the muscle curl towards your teeth as you lilted the syllables for the first time in his presence. You had to admit it sounded nice, and pride flared in your chest at not stumbling over it as you had feared.

Smiling, you glanced up at him only to find his eyes fixed pointedly on you, staring as if he had words upon the tip of his tongue and yet he swallowed them back whilst you watched. You followed the bob of his Adam’s apple, bemused and perplexed by his reaction, half wanting to ask if something was wrong.

“Here we are,” he said after a long pause. Kakashi gestured with his hand and you followed it eagerly, excited for your first glimpse at the place he called home.

It shouldn’t have been this difficult to get you to relax.

After both of you had slipped off your shoes and padded into the main living space, Kakashi had offered to fetch you a drink whilst he cooked but you weren’t content to simply sit and wait. You were stubborn that was for sure, batting away his persistent reassurances that he didn’t need any help until he relented in giving in a small job in cutting up some vegetables.

It was clear that cooking was not your forte, his eye drawn to the less-than-efficient way you held the knife and the slow work you made in a task that would have taken him seconds, but he didn’t wish to discourage you. Instead, he monitored you like a hawk to prevent injury and praised your efforts when you presented the haphazardly chopped vegetables.

Your bright smile was worth it…

Thankfully this seemed to appease your sense of obligation to help, and in truth, he had prepped a lot of the steps in the early hours of the morning so the meal was close to being finished already. It had been an opportunity to stand a little closer to you, sharing the counter space side by side and if his head had tilted in your direction once or twice simply to admire you then you appeared none the wiser to it.

Kakashi’s thoughts returned to the moment you had first spoken his name, embarrassed by how off guard he had been caught by it. Never had he heard it said so sensually and without meaning to, he certainly didn’t get the impression that you were aware of the salacious inflection of the name from your lips.

As he plated up the pasta dish his mind turned to how it might sound moaned breathlessly into his ear and he had to stop quickly. His hand gripped the edge of the counter, eyes shut for the seconds it took to rearrange his thoughts into something far more appropriate and collected the lightly steaming plates.

Meanwhile, as Kakashi attempted to diffuse the wayward direction of his thoughts, your foot bounced nervously as you took in your surroundings. His house was clean and tidy, if not a little sparse in decoration. Apart from several potted plants and a bookcase that you couldn’t quite see the contents of except to say it was very full, there wasn’t any decor to speak of. You weren’t sure what you had expected but actually, it made sense. He didn’t seem the type to give great weight to material possessions but the place could use a little colour in your humble opinion.

“Dinner’s ready.”

The appearance of Kakashi both alarmed and calmed you, a grin spreading with ease and for a second you simply ate him up with your eyes. He had changed since your short time by his side in the kitchen, and he looked good in the charcoal grey sweater and black pants–real good.

You followed him towards the dining room, again it was tidy and devoid of clutter, and you sat happily in front of the delicious-smelling meal.

“Thank you for the meal,” you recited happily. You took a quick sip of the wine he’d poured before humming gratefully as you began to tuck in.

To say he was a good cook was an understatement, the simple meal was so flavourful that you fought down a moan of delight from escaping. “This is so—”

The words died in your throat the second your eyes lifted to give your praise of his skill. It was the last thing you were expecting though logically it made sense, how was he meant to eat with the mask in place? Yet knowing that to be reasonable, the sight of Kakashi without the mask obscuring the lower half of his face still stole your breath entirely.

It wasn’t an exaggeration to say your throat ran dry, hand raised with a bite of food midair whilst you watched him eat. Never had you seen a man look more attractive, and you knew you never would meet one more so than he.

The sharp jaw that you could make out even with the mask was accentuated perfectly, his mouth moved as he chewed his food and you spied a small mole or beauty mark beneath the left side. You wanted to touch it… maybe more so than you wanted to run your fingers over the seam of the scar bisecting his eye.

Kakashi looked up, realising you had stopped mid-sentence and tipped his head in confusion. He wiped a napkin across his face, concerned he had food smeared on himself but it was nothing like that and the realisation dawned on him suddenly.

“Oh, the mask. Whilst I can eat stealthily I thought I’d forgo that trouble since I’m alone in your company. You don’t mind seeing this old mug, do you?”

Never in your wildest, most extravagant dreams had you considered lunging across a table to kiss someone, not until that exact moment and it was unsettling. How were you meant to act? Why in the fuck were you even here? It made no sense. He was the Hokage, a goddamn war hero and probably the most eligible bachelor in the entire village, and you were… you. Nothing special across the board.

“No, I don’t mind at all,” you murmured. “But why am I here? I don’t understand. I came to you about an assignment you might have information on, and now I’m sitting in your home.”

Kakashi frowned at your question, at how your shoulders rolled inwards and the once bright smile he’d seen only minutes ago diminished into an expression of worry and what he interpreted as insecurity of some kind, though he couldn’t quite understand the reason behind it.

This was a conversation he had not anticipated this early, recalling his long discussions with Obito and how he had sworn to be as honest as he could with you. To ensure that you understood his interest was genuine, even if the invitation had been rushed to distract you from your said assignment. At least until he and Obito could work something out that would hopefully not land anyone in hot water.

You stared into the depths of your pasta, the dish growing cold the longer you left it untouched but you didn’t feel very hungry anymore in the face of your anxieties. Kakashi cleared his throat and your eyes flew up as if commanded to.

“I’m sorry if I’ve caused you confusion. I know that my inviting you here was… hasty. I’ll be honest, as honest as I can be,” he offered and your nose scrunched at that last part before he continued. “I-I’ve noticed you in passing, ever since I became Hokage and you seem like someone I’d like to know more.”

The beat of your heart sped faster, a course of adrenaline flooding your veins and you licked over your lips, the skin suddenly parched. Your fingers trembled around the stem of your wine glass, holding it steady as you took a large gulp beneath the watchful eye of the man sitting opposite you. What should you say? That you were flattered but you still didn’t understand despite what he offered as an explanation. However, Kakashi seemed to have more to volunteer and you were spared from having to speak yet.

“I understand that we met under unusual circumstances and I will, of course, answer any questions you might have relating to the case you’re working on, but I want to be clear that I asked you here as a… a date.”

“I’m nothing special,” you admitted without hesitation or thought. The answering silence was heavy as you met with a face that was unimpressed at best.

“I don’t think you get to decide that,” Kakashi stated flatly, his tone cool for the first time. It made you sit up a little straighter.

Kakashi tentatively reached his hand across the table, the very tips of his fingers touched your knuckles for the briefest moment. “Please eat, and tell me a little about yourself. Let me be the one to decide whether you’re special or not.”

It was impossible to deny him those simple requests, not when they were asked with such heartfelt sincerity. It truly would be a shame to waste such a wonderful meal and after a moment of pause, you resumed your eating much to Kakashi’s delight.

You still weren’t used to seeing him like this, not just without his mask but in any kind of informal setting. As you considered what to tell him, you watched him eat slowly and it was obvious he was watching you too.

A couple of idiots… that’s what you were.

The conversation flowed more naturally after your outburst and slowly but surely, you relaxed enough that it was quite funny to hear his take on certain things. You told him how your father had been a Jonin many years ago but was now retired. Kakashi asked for his name which you gave. It was cute that he claimed to have heard of him and that he had been a brave man, an asset to Konoha in his words.

He asked if you had ever considered the shinobi life, chuckling at your abrupt laughter and explanation that you had no aptitude for it as well as no regret over that fact.

Kakashi was intrigued to discover you enjoyed reading and rather passionately too, your eyes lit up as you spoke about your interest. He too was an avid reader and he was quite sure that the entire village and surrounding lands were aware of that.

“So, is it true?” you asked with a timid smile.

“Is what true?”

You coughed, swallowing a small sip of wine the wrong way and you couldn’t quite believe you were even asking this, maybe the wine was going to your head. “Well, the rumour is that you have a bit of a habit of reading books of a certain nature, and quite publicly too.”

Kakashi blushed. The entirety of his cheeks warmed to a brilliant pink and you noticed the colour even crept to the tips of his ears. It was both the most endearing thing you might have ever witnessed and also the funniest. Here was the man in charge of the entire village and he was blushing like a teenager who was caught staring too long at a crush.

For a moment you didn’t think he was going to answer, but with a sheepish expression that made you tingle all over, he nodded dutifully.

“Guilty as charged.” He sighed and looked off towards the living room you had previously occupied, you guessed at the overstuffed bookcase. “It started as a kind of ‘fuck you’ to some of my elders that developed into a habit that I’ve never been able to quit.”

Interesting…

You mused over his cursory answer, swirling the remnants of your near-empty glass and in a mad moment of courage you met his stare with a salacious smile. He was first to look away and that only served to bolster your confidence when he stuttered and spoke again.

“It’s not like I’m walking around with a perpetual hard-on.”

Even to your ear, he sounded pouty but there was no real bite of annoyance to it. He stood with the now empty dishes in hand and walked towards the kitchen, and you were quick to follow closely at his back. Kakashi sensed your presence far more intensely this time, you were a full footstep closer whilst he walked and he was certain that you were now relaxed in his presence. It must be true if you were willing to ask such a question, one he was a little shy over but underneath it, he liked being just that little bit vulnerable with you. It wasn’t something he allowed himself with anyone else and it was strangely more cathartic than he had expected.

It was hard not to snort in laughter at that last comment and you’d be lying if you were to say it was easy not to let your eyes lower to the place below the waist in question, just to check. The wine had to be affecting you at this point as everything was bathed in a soft glow from the now pitch black outside and the few lights on within the house. It made things seem more intimate and you could admit that you liked it rather a lot.

With the dishes set in the sink to soak, Kakashi turned to lean on the counter and simply admired you in front of him. There was a noticeable height difference but one that he didn’t mind in the least, in fact, he liked it. It seemed there was a lot of liking going on right now, not that either of you was aware of the other's current train of thought.

A lull had fallen in the conversation, the last remark about hard-ons making it feel amusingly difficult to restart things but there was no feeling of discomfort to the stretch of silence. It made other sounds far more obvious, such as Kakashi’s slightly increased heart rate and the barely perceptible hitch in your breathing despite there being no evident reason for it.

You reckoned that had this moment played out on a big screen you would have been certain a kiss scene was approaching, but living it made you a lot more cautious. Not least because crossing that particular line would come with consequences and ones you weren’t sure you could recover from. Kissing the Hokage was definitely to be considered a no-no for a subordinate but that was his call to make, right? Right?

Kakashi was the first one to move, closing the small distance and reaching out to pull free your bottom lip that you were worrying with your teeth without realising. His touch was featherlight, the barest graze of his thumb across your lip and you froze beneath his hooded stare. You wanted to wrap your arms around his neck and beckon him to your lips like a siren calling to a sailor but trepidation and the fear of the unknown stopped you.

No, it wasn’t the fear of the unknown, it was the fear of acceptance and reciprocation that had you pausing. You wished you weren’t so inside your head, so wrapped up in insecurities that you couldn’t appreciate the honest interest that was staring right into your face.

He was so close, one more inch lower and you’d be breathing the same air. The scent of your shampoo and the faint dab of perfume ensnared him fully and it was difficult to think about anything else than how you might feel in his arms, against his mouth. Would you taste sweet? Would you melt against him? So many possibilities and he wanted to learn the answers.

This was it. The final moment to pull yourself free and stop this from happening. To thank him for the meal, walk out the door and into a future that wouldn’t include him. Kakashi Hatake wanted to kiss you, there was no way of denying it now and your pulse shot through the roof. You had always thought it corny when you read in books how it seemed that time stood still but there was no other way of describing how this moment felt and you finally understood the expression. It was as if there was only you and he in the entire world and nothing else mattered.

Could you possibly accept him?

Would he accept you?

#delirious writes #kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #kakashi smut #kakashi fluff #kakashi angst #obito uchiha

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