#maybe fall a little in love in the process . . . WAAAH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hwaitham · 21 days

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⸝⸝ ˙˳ ⑅ first piece of marginalia ( of many , hopefully :3 ) about eremite!al haitham && akademiya student!reader ♥︎ f!reader + not proofread + subtly implied trauma on both reader n haitham's end

you first meet the eremite who's to serve as your bodyguard throughout your research expedition on the day of your departure, at your designated meeting spot under the pavilion in pardis dhyai. its stone pillars cascade with vines of sumeru roses that shine a sweet lavender hue under the morning sun— one of which you've plucked and tucked into your hair earlier, leaning over the railing to gaze at your reflection in the pond and smile at the beauty of it.

(and a petal which has unknowingly slipped off and fallen to rest ever so delicately within the dip of your clavicle.)

“al haitham, yes? um, hello!” you greet the eremite as he walks into the pavilion with a quiet waver to your voice, bow respectfully, try to still the timid pitter-patters of your heart that only seem to worsen the longer you're in his presence.

because this man standing before you is large— tall, broad, as stunning as the pale blue moon. his upper body is strapped with tough sinew and yet his waist remains lean, torso mostly bare save for the pashmina shawl draped about his neck and the worn leather holster slung across his chest.

and he's silent. offering you only a small bow in return before giving you a quick once over, gait unhurried as he takes one, two long strides to stand by your side. it's an arduous task to bring yourself to look up at his face, but you do— lips parting in awe when you realise he's unlike any other desert eremite you've met before.

the trimmed red silk tied around his head shelters only one of his eyes.

how interesting, you think to yourself, for what you know of desert eremites is that they are convinced all things betray, even their own sight.

you bite your tongue to stop the questions that bubble and ebb at the forefront of your throat from tumbling past your lips, the innate scholarly need to learn and dissect and digest and know. a surprised little squeak escapes you instead when he turns his head and catches you staring, meeting your curious eyes with technicoloured cyan.

“is something the matter?”

“no, not at all! i'm sorry, i didn't mean to stare,” you flush hot under the intensity of his gaze, play with the flouncy sleeve of your blouse while you giggle nervously. you're unsure whether it's his size, or his beauty, or his quiet dominance that makes you feel much more shy than you'd like to feel, far too giddy— as if you're a little girl back in grade school.

“alright. shall we get going then? we're losing daylight with each second that passes.” al haitham holds a hand out in front of you, waiting expectantly.

you tilt your head in confusion and pout. what's he asking for? a tip? your hand?

“your bags?” he heaves a sigh, rests his other hand on his hip. you feel a hint of irritation in his words, and your heart wilts a little, “did you want me to carry them?”

“oh!” you exclaim in realisation before hoisting your travel bags further up your shoulders, force a reassuring smile on your lips. “it's okay, i couldn't possibly ask that of you. i can handle it myself, really!”

that couldn't be further from the truth, and al haitham sees right through it, with your shoulders hunched forward from the leaden weight of your bags slung atop them, the wince in your step as you walk towards the pathway, how you nearly topple over when you lose the slightest bit of balance.

“hey,” he pinches his brow, a certain roughness in his voice when he calls out to you that withers into something more gentle, tender after you turn to look at him. sweet and innocent and dewy-eyed. like a flower too frail, one whose stem may snap clean off if looked at the wrong way. “let me take them.”

al haitham doesn't allow you to protest, swiftly lifting your bags from your shoulders and holding onto them with ease, their weight nothing compared to what he's had to endure throughout the entirety of his life.

“it's my job to take care of you these next few weeks, and i intend to do it well.” he walks ahead of you, the longer mint strands of his hair swaying with the wind, the air around him lifting into something lighter— even if it's only by the most minute amount. “besides, you'll tip me generously if i do, won't you?"

his voice lilts mischievously, and you can only bring yourself to watch on in awe. nerves melting into excitement, cheeks warming not from timidness, but anticipation of what lies ahead in the next month— for your research, yes, but also for something closer to your heart.

a companion, a friend.

you smile a smile that reaches far past your eyes, bounding up to him with those clumsy fawn legs as you try to match his pace. two of your steps for one of his own. “of course i will, thank you so, so much! and i'll do my best to keep from making trouble for you— it'll make your job easier too, i hope!”

al haitham hesitates for a brief moment when you thank him so earnestly, so wholeheartedly, so unlike any of the other scholars he'd been commissioned to act as a guard for. with your smile so cloyingly sweet and your kindness so childishly naive, he can't help but feel a bit grim.

how much violence did it take for you to become this gentle?

the faintest of smiles— honeysuckle soft— curls up on his lips and he gives your head a single pat, sweeps the spare rose petal off of your clavicle, quietly wonders what he's gotten himself into by accepting this commission.

“silly girl. come, let's get going.”

#haitham ❤︎#&(*^&@)*(&& hieeee ! ! omgeeb so 🥺 this is how i imagine reader n haitham to meet in this au . .#i rllie like imagining alhaitham w someone who is more . . . gentle n naive n almost timid ?? like despite all The Horrors they are still #not worn down by it all ( or so it seems C; ) n remain tender towards the world #bcos . as we know . alhaitham is . . not exactly that . he is much more guarded n cautious after experiences frm his own life #+ also seeing what happens to others #so putting him with his ' diametric antithesis ' jus sounds rllie precious in my eyes 🥺🥺#how they cn learn frm each other ! show each other something they've never seen before 🥺#maybe fall a little in love in the process . . . WAAAH #anws :3 anywhosies :3 this is what this au is all about :3 n i hope ! ! ! i hope #if / when i continue to post lil blurbs about it #this is what u envision too :3 #WAH !#um um um ! ! 🥺 if u like this au or wnt to see more of it . . . then may i selfishly ask u to interact with this post ??#even a like is fine ! ! or u can tell me too !#'s just to gauge interest bcos rn i dont weally knowwww if anyone is interested in this besides like .#Me ><

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thebeautyoffanfics · 3 years

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Hey! I always loved your writing and you actually inspired me to write some myself so I want to request if it’s alright…

Can I have Hanako x f!reader who doesn’t believe in love (this having to due with her parents never getting along). She says that it’s just a little word people say to make them feel better about themselves and it’s a waste of time.

But she can’t help but fall in love with Hanako and gets on flustered when he’s around but tries to tell herself it’s not love. Oneshot please!

Thank you and feel free to ignore if you want!

hanako x f!reader

a/n: hello hello!! thank you so much for the compliment- that’s really sweet, and it genuinely means the world to me;; but, sure thing! (ahh, the fact that i wrote a rengoku fic about the reader feeling that way not long ago- this is a topic I’m familiar with, so I hope that it makes it turn out even better? haha) thank you so much for requesting, and I hope this turns out alright!!! <333 also, if you ever want to share your writings, do feel free to tag me/let me know somehow! I’m sure they’re amazing, and I’d love to read them, should you be comfortable with it!! :DD

bro i guess this request resonated with me bc i genuinely like,,, went off. So it’s,,, pretty long- i hope that’s alright haanofnaoinf-

warnings: implied parental issues?

word count: 2,363

Love was ridiculous. It was a stupid idea. An overused word, thrown onto any situation in which you felt something other than anger, fear, sadness, or disgust. If something made you even a little happy, you’d claim to love it. If someone showed you basic human decency, you’d claim to love them.

You hated it. It made you feel sick.

It’s not like you could control what everyone else did, you supposed. So, you’d continue on normally. If you didn’t fall in love, then there was no worry about falling out of it- that’s what you figured. That’s what you told yourself. Love wasn’t real in the first place- how could such an overused word hold any true meaning? It was like a 1st grade pinky promise. It was easily broken, as if it held any truth to it when the kids exchanged a deal. No matter how much either part of it trusted the promise, it made it no more real or true.

Yep… love was best put as a 1st grade pinky promise.

Maybe not-

Still, such a strong opinion on love, an unmoving opinion, with your own “proof” to back it up… made it hard when you thought that it may be put to question. You walked near the bathroom, the girls’ bathroom, and heard a girl from your class shout something. You couldn’t tell what, but you did notice her slightly annoyed expression as she left the bathroom.

Ah, the girl who seemed to be constantly head-over-heels for boys- particularly Minamoto-senpai, you had noted. It wasn’t like he’d return the feelings, you figured. It’s not like her “love” was anything more than an obsession.

Still, you figured there must have been some other girl in the bathroom. Yashiro probably had friends- she talked to Aoi a lot. Maybe the school’s princess was teasing her friend. You pushed open the door, noticing that all the stalls were empty. The only other entity in the bathroom was… a floating, slightly-transparent boy. He was laughing, and you went ahead and assumed it was at Yashiro’s annoyance.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. Honestly, you just needed to pee, but it shouldn’t have surprised you. Little mokke running around the school constantly, weird things happening, a boy in the girls’ bathroom wasn’t life-changing. Or so you figured.

You grumbled, making some comment you weren’t even sure you got, as you stepped into a stall. Not acknowledging him would surely be best. You were fairly new to the school, and it wasn’t like you were insanely fond of public restrooms anyway. You’d never have to see him again. Plus, if he was anything like the other supernaturals, you were sure he’d be a handful. That was your thought process, as you washed your hands, glimpsing up at the mirror hung above the sink- you caught another glimpse at him.

An old uniform. Brown, almost shaggy, hair. His eyes were amber, and rather large- the way he held his hands, you silently compared him to a puppy. Innocent face, playful eyes- almost too alive for a ghost. He turned his head, nearly making eye contact, but you continued to study his appearance. A white… bandage? Sticker? Something- stuck to his face, the kanji for “seal” written in red.

Weird.

“My, you look as if you’ve seen a ghost,” He spoke, bringing a hand to his mouth, as a mischievous smirk came to his face.

A pain in the neck.

Your eyebrows furrowed, as you looked back down, turning off the sink and drying your hands.

“Oh? Gonna pretend you didn’t see me? How cruel,”

Still, you ignored him. He couldn’t be serious. How was he so sure you didn’t simply think you caught something out of the corner of your eye? Was he messing with you, or trying to lighten the mood?

“I don’t think I want to associate with a pervy ghost,” You said, shutting the door behind you. As if right on time, the bell rang, signaling that lunch was over. With that, you made your way to class, hoping to not have to deal with any more paranormal things.

…

Unfortunately, things don’t always go as planned. As the rest of the day took it’s sweet time to pass, you sat, spacing out as you thought about that boy. He was one of the first humanoid supernaturals you had seen at the school- honestly, you half-hoped that all of them were cute little bunnies. Not… strangely eye-catching boys… how weird.

You sighed, clicking your pen, letting the quiet sound drown the teacher’s ramblings out a bit. Ca-click, click-click, ca-click, click-click.

“Y’know, people find that little sound annoying sometimes. It never bothered me, but teachers seem to be so sensitive about it.”

Jumping, you turned your head a bit, only to be practically nose-to-nose with the boy from the bathroom. Your heartbeat increased from the surprise, but you placed your hand on your chin, pretending to not have seen anything. Not only did you not want to give him much of your time or energy, but you definitely didn’t want to attract negative attention from the normal kids around you. Your eyes scanned the room, and you noticed Yashiro looking in your direction, most likely at the boy. Yes, she definitely saw him too.

“Waaah, Yashirooooo, the new girl’s totally ignoring me!” He sighed, floating over to her. She looked away as well, focusing intensely on whatever the teacher had to say. You weren’t even sure by this point, watching the two out of the corner of your eye. You stopped clicking your pen, watching as he stood behind Yashiro, leaning against her as he peered at her notes.

He glanced at you again, and you looked away. The boy, who you were now curious as to what his name could be, floated back over to your desk, glancing at your notes.

“You really aren’t paying attention, huh! Yashiro’s not much better- her page is mainly doodles. How on earth do you plan to pass like this, haha?”

You glared at him slightly, before lifting your pen, and clicking it open. Annoyed, you flipped to another page, and scribbled something down. He leaned forward a bit, looking at whatever it is you wrote.

“Leave me alone, toilet boy.”

He laughed, patting your back. “Toilet boy? What’s with all the insults, I barely know youuuuuu- plus, I have a name. I’m Hanako. School Mystery Number 7, Hanako-san of the toilet! Not ‘toilet boy’, nor a pervy ghost.”

You raised your eyebrows, writing once more.

“Wonderful. Now leave me alone, ‘Hanako-san of the toilet’.”

Days passed, and he certainly didn’t leave you alone. In fact, you grew to find yourself spending more time than you expected to with him. You assisted with supernaturals from time to time, even meeting his two other friends properly- Kou Minamoto and Yashiro Nene. You all slowly, but surely, became friends.

“I’m done wiping the mirrors,” You said, tossing the dirty rag into the bucket.

“I’m done mopping!” Yashiro exclaimed, sighing as she leaned against the mop.

“I’ve finished dusting too,” Kou added.

Hanako nodded, clapping cheerfully. “Great job, everyone! Can’t wait to see the same enthusiasm tomorrow!!”

The three of you collectively groaned, rolling your eyes. “Yes, yes, just like that,” Hanako laughed, moving his legs to sit in the air in a criss-cross fashion. Light conversation picked up, Kou talking to Yashiro, and Hanako throwing in a comment every so often. You stood, leaning against the sink, watching your friends look so happy. Hanako glanced at you, closing his eyes as he grinned.

Your heart rate picked up, and you felt your face grow warm. Your eyebrows furrowed just slightly, as you glanced away. It wasn’t the first time a little action like that made your heart go haywire. Not just your heart- your stomach, your legs, your arms. The moment Hanako grinned at you, hugged you, or emptily flirted, you felt as though you lost the ability to function. It couldn’t be love… no, you didn’t want to fall in love.

“Right, but it's getting late, guys. I should really head home,” Yashiro spoke, putting the mop up as she did so. Kou nodded, glancing over at the clock. “I’ve got to get home and work on dinner,” He said, putting the duster away, and grabbing his things.

Hanako glanced at you.

“I don’t really have any plans. I finished homework in class, so I think I’ll linger around for a bit more.”

“Alright! Be safe when you head home, (Y/N)! I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Yashiro spoke, waving as she left the room. “Bye guys! Be safe!” Kou added, leaving not long after she did. Silence filled the room for a moment, the only thing breaking it being the sound of your shoes as you made your way to the window seal. Taking a seat, you looked at Hanako expectantly.

“Well? Any more stories of the things I missed out on?”

...

“The Confession Tree?” You questioned, the other two humans long gone by now, leaving Hanako to recount to you previous adventures they had gone on.

“Yep! Yashiro and I took care of that one- it was honestly easier than most of them were. He’s still around, just nothing bigger than one of those pre-cut broccolis. The rumor was, you’d confess under him, and he’d make the feelings mutual~, buuut, it obviously got way out of control.”

“That’s so stupid.”

Hanako raised his eyebrows, not expecting such a distasteful tone of voice. “What is?”

“A supernatural forcing some kids to ‘fall in love’,” You made air quotes, before continuing, “it’s pretty gross. Love’s nothing more than some overused word. It’s tagged onto everything, and it’s basically used to make you feel better. It’s all a waste.”

For once, he was silent. Several questions began to circulate in his mind, but a part of him was… somewhat hurt.

“But what if I love you?” He questioned, tilting his head. His face felt warm, but he tried to steady his heartbeat. It wasn’t a direct confession. No, just a question. A ‘what if.’

You blinked, your face feeling warm. You understood- of course, it was nothing more than a ‘what if.’ “It wouldn’t be love. You’d be interested in me, only for the interest to go away eventually- even if it took a week. Even if it took years. Just… trust me, Hanako. I’m not the smartest person in the world, but- once you see it happen to the two people who are supposed to be there for you forever, you get the memo. It isn’t love. Never was, never will be.”

Those words you spoke… you didn’t like the fact that you questioned their sincerity. Especially when you were blushing, the boy who made you question those words looking at you with his big, rather beautiful eyes. “Or… that’s… what I think,” You added, the heat rising to your face only making you feel worse, as he blinked. His undivided attention on you- on what you said- made your heart beat much faster than you wished it would.

And suddenly, he was closer. Too close. Way too close. His eyes began to shut, as his face drew closer to yours. Your heart began to beat quicker than it had before- your face grew hotter than it already was- your eyes widened, as you silently questioned what on earth he was going.

One of his hands grabbed your wrist, and you looked over at your arm he was holding, then back up at him. His face was still close, so close you were sure you’d smell him if he still had a scent. So close he could probably feel the heat radiating off of your face, if he could still distinguish hot from cold.

“Then why is your heart beating so fast?” He finally questioned, thumb pressed against your radial artery, as if the warmth of your face wasn’t enough of a sign.

“Because- you’re… way too close.”

“But you aren’t pushing me away? I’ll scoot back if you want. I’m not a mind reader though, so just use your words.”

Your mouth felt dry. Why weren’t you saying anything? You could speak. Open your mouth and tell him to move. Take your free hand and shove him.

But… a part of you didn’t want him to move.

Hanako smiled once more, his eyebrows drawn together slightly, as if he were saddened by something. “I’m sorry that you were dealt a hand like that in life. It’s easy to look around and find all the negatives in life. But,” He leaned forward a bit more, nose nearly touching yours, “you aren’t your parents. You don’t need to follow in their footsteps. Don’t let their problems influence you so heavily to where you miss out on potentially great things. It’s okay to be sad about it. It’s okay to be scared. But it’s still your life, not theirs. If everyone’s overuse of it bothers you, then only say it when you mean it. Still, if you feel love, embrace it.”

Your eyes felt slightly prickly, as they watered up a bit. His sincerity… your racing heart. Maybe, just maybe… you were in love.

“I… think I love you, Hanako,” You muttered. You were scared. You were scared that he’d tell you he was joking- or that maybe this wasn’t love. Scared of so many things, stemming from one little word. Yet, you tried to embrace it.

“I love you, (Y/N). And nothing will change that,” He said, his smile widening. Quickly, he closed his eyes, closing the distance between the two of you. His lips were… cold. His touch was the only thing that reminded you that he wasn’t alive. Still, the warmth of his words made up for it, as you closed your eyes into the kiss.

His encouragement wouldn’t drown out the fear completely. He couldn’t take the memories away. But he tried… he told you that he loved you, so… you’d believe him. After all, you hadn’t heard him overusing the word. It only made that moment feel that much more genuine.

#anon #request #x reader #f!reader #x f!reader #oneshot #tbhk #jshk #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #hanako #tbhk x reader #jshk x reader #toilet bound hanako kun x reader #jibaku shounen hanako kun x reader #hanako x reader #amane yugi x reader

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xjamlessparkx · 5 years

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divorce | myg | 08

summary: in which you have to go through a painful process of your own family shattering

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: angst

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 |12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

"Talk?" Suddenly, you started laughing as you ranged from one side to the other side hysterically.

He held your elbow slightly but you freed yourself, pushing him away.

"I don't want to talk to you..." you lifted your hand and tried to walk past him when you tripped over your own feet, falling forward. He grabbed your upper arms as he lifted you up, preventing you from falling.

"Please Y/N..." he begged, holding you close to himself. You shook your head going forward again. He grabbed your hand and turned you around. "Let me drop you home and let's talk on our way home" He didn't even give you a chance as he dragged you with him. You shut your eyes from time to time, the fatigue feeling overcoming you. He helped you in the passenger seat and jogged to the other side of the car. To be honest, you were too tired to fight back that's why you let him drop you home.

He drove off and hesitantly tried to start the conversation. "You seeing Yuna wasn't my first intention...-" you cut him off.

"Yuna? I don't know that name..." You snapped and turned on the radio. "Waaah!" You cheered, clapping in your hands as your favorite song played. It was a 90s ballad and you started singing along to the lyrics which you forgot a little. It was more gibberish than real singing.

He sighed deeply as he shut the radio, turning to you. "Y/N you're making everything harder for me..."

Without taking up to what he said you clicked on the button to let the music play again. You turned the volume on and started dancing to the sad ballad. While singing you spotted a weak smirk on his lips and you laughed loudly.

"Yoongi, you're so handsome!" You put your hands under your chin, trying to sound as cute as possible. If anyone would see you like that, they wouldn't believe that you were a mother of two children. He chuckled at your statement, his blood rushing up to his cheeks. At that moment you realized that you were about to divorce. You weren't sober but you remembered everything in a matter of time, you just acted irrationally and emotionally. Turning the volume off you turned around, looking out of the window.

"I forgot ... I can't say that anymore." You bit your lip, feeling your throat burning. Hearing Yoongi swallowing hard, he cleared his throat.

You didn't even reach your house and you spotted a small takeaway which was still open. You furrowed your eyebrows, wondering why it was still open in the middle of the night but the thought of eating something right now didn't leave your mind. You licked your lips.

"I'm hungry!" You yelled you gaze still on the small takeaway as you started hitting Yoongi's shoulder. His eyes widened and he shook his head.

"I think it's better if you rest a little bit-" he exclaimed but you interrupted him when you started whining loudly. Begging him to go to eat something.

"Pleeease!" You pouted and he took a deep breath as you felt his car stopping in a parking lot near the takeaway. You ran up to the public place, not minding Yoongi who followed you quietly behind.

"Ahjussi, please bring me some black noodles" you yelled and Yoongi tried to shush you out but you only chuckled when he tried to. He sat on the opposite side of you, watching the man bringing your food. You licked your lips as you started eating as if it was the first time in your life where you saw delicious food.

At that moment, Yoongi realized how much you've changed physically. His eyes were focused on your cheekbones as you slurped the noodles, how it showed your bones clearly. Your eyes were a lot smaller as if you never had the chance to sleep or rest nicely. He noticed how much of an amount of weight you've lost. Biting his lip, his gaze stopped at your hands, holding the chopsticks while you ate deliciously. He wasn't lying, he felt full when you ate.

"Aren't you eating?" You asked, making him wince and come back to reality. He shook his head slowly, smiling at how you enjoyed your meal as if it was your first meal for today.

You finished up the noodles and grabbed your purse to pay the meal. Suddenly, you felt a warm hand surrounding yours. As you looked up you saw Yoongi putting money on the table.

"I'll pay you back!" You said immediately but he chucked at your statement, knowing that he wouldn't accept it even when you tried to pay him back.

Just as you wanted to stand up he stopped you, pointing his finger at your lips. "You still have sauce on your lips-"

"Here?" You wiped the part away but he shook his head, telling you that it was the other side. When you couldn't find the spot he reached out for your lips, his thumb brushing your bottom lip softly. His eyes were darted in yours and his expressions were blank. His fingers not leaving your lips as he wiped the sauce away with his fingers. Biting his lip, he rested his other fingers on your jaw. You were looking at him strangely, not noticing how much he was affected by his own behavior. He winced, his eyelids blinking a few times as he pulled his hand away.

"We, we should head home..." he muttered and you nodded, walking past him while trying to hold your balance. You hopped into the car and he drove off.

"Thank you ..." you mumbled and smiled weakly at him. "Sometimes you're such a jerk and other days you're like the nicest person on earth..." you clarified as you leaned back in the seat.

He chuckled at your words, furrowing his eyebrows questioningly, "Wow... thanks for this nice compliment" he exclaimed sarcastically.

He helped you out of the car and opened the door to your house. It was dark and he assumed that everyone was already asleep.

Suddenly, you pushed him as you let yourself fall on the couch. You started sobbing loudly, burying your face in your hands. Mood changes were absolutely a thing for you while you were drunk.

"Y/N?" His soft voice brought you back to reality. You lifted your head and looked at him, standing in front of you.

"It hurts" you cried and he furrowed his eyebrows, not being able to tell what you were trying as to say right now.

You clenched your fist as you started hitting your chest multiple times, over and over again, pointing at your heart, "Right here!" You wiped away your tears as you looked up to Yoongi.

"Why did you do this to me? Don't you see how much I suffer? Can't you see that I can't be as happy as you are?" Your sobs were actually swallowing half of your words but Yoongi still understood. He couldn't move, shocked by your words and he also wanted to listen more.

"When I saw that girl in the office I knew that I lost you... but the moment I saw her in the passenger seat I felt so betrayed and awful..." you stood up, grabbing his collar, "I can't lose my children ... they're all I have!" Your forehead dropped on his chest as you started crying loudly, forgetting about your children who should be asleep right now.

"I, I'm sorry... I didn't tell you about our meeting with the kids. Please don't worry, you won't lose them." His hands were on your shoulders, pulling you back so he could look into your eyes. You shook your head as you lifted your head.

"She tried to make them call her 'mom'. Is it so easy to be a mom? Are you going to take my children away once we divorce? Does my effort and love not matter at all? Are you going to let them forget me and start a new family? With someone you love?" You muttered the last words were more of a whisper than a real statement.

You let yourself fall on the couch again as he sat down next to you.

"Yuna insisted to get to know with the children. She thought that it would be a good opportunity since the children are a part of my life..." he started, "I know I should've told you about us spending time together with the children. But I didn't even tell them that she is my girlfriend-" he mumbled, as he moved his hands away from you.

"So it means that she is their second mom to you? I don't want my children to have any contact with her. Damn it! I hate the fact that you belong to her. I can't stand the fact that I wasn't enough for you, for your love. That I wasn't strong enough to rescue our family..." you sobbed, tears streaming down your face as you started hitting your knees. "I, I hate myself so much Yoongi!" You cried out as you dropped your face into your hands again. Yoongi bit his lip, not knowing what to do right now. He didn't even know how he could comfort you. He was feeling sorry for the way he made you feel. Feeling sorry, for not noticing and not considering your emotions and feelings.

"You moved on. You have a new girlfriend now. That's why you left me. You didn't love me anymore and clearly, my love wasn't enough..." you leaned back, slowly as your back touched the couch. You closed your eyes and your body relaxed. Breathing quietly you whispered, "How will I ever be able to move on when you're still the only one in my heart?"

After that, you didn't know what happened. You drifted off to sleep and were woken up by the loud swearing of your mother who was walking frustrated through the living room, searching for something. You noticed a blanket over your body, trying to remember last night and how you ended up here. But you didn't really remember anything that's why you decided to stand up. Maybe a hangover soup would be good. Actually, you felt quite embarrassed for your low alcohol tolerance and getting drunk by one bottle.

You threw the blanket from your body as you stood up, feeling the pain in your head as you hissed quietly.

"Y/N! I can't find Ahran!" Your heart sank at the words of your mother.

"What do you mean? Are playing hide and seek again?" You chuckled as your smile faded slowly, noticing how serious your mother was.

"H-how!?" You jumped up and furrowed your eyebrows.

"I don't know ... I woke up and wanted to wake up Junsun and Ahran but Ahran wasn't in her room anymore. She isn't anywhere to find, I'm worried..." she stated and you hear Junsun from upstairs calling for his sister who didn't answer.

"Mom, did anything happen yesterday?" You asked her while you grabbed your phone, dialing Yoongi's number. Maybe she was with him and you really hoped it to be like that.

"Nothing happened. After you went to work we left to go home as well. We watched a movie, played games until they fell asleep. Nothing suspicious..." she clarified and you sighed deeply, biting your nails.

"Hello?" You heard the voice from the other side of the phone.

"Is Ahran with you?" You asked immediately.

"No ..." he said, making you shut your eyes and hit your forehead with your palm.

"Is everything okay?" He mumbled, sounding worried.

You took a deep breath, feeling the tears coming up, "Ahran is missing!"

"What?! How?" He yelled through the phone while you shrugged your shoulders, walking hysterically from one side to the other side of the room.

"I, I don't know ... I will go and search for her!" You mumbled, your voice cracking.

"Wait! I will pick you up, let's watch out together!" He clarified, ending the call. You sighed deeply, sitting down on the couch. Junsun ran downstairs as he jumped up to you, sobbing silently.

"Mom, Ahran isn't home ..." he muttered. You kissed his forehead, stroking his hair slowly.

"We will find her okay..." you promised as you stood up, grabbing your jacket.

"Mom, stay with Junsun. Yoongi and I will find her, I promise. Call me if she comes home..." you exclaimed as you put on your shoes.

"She isn't with Yoongi?" Your mother asked worriedly and you shook your head.

"Clearly not!" You opened the door, being confronted by the cold breeze, blowing through your hair.

"Call me when you find her!" She yelled, standing next to the doorframe. You walked up to the entrance of your house, looking in every direction, watching out for all details while you waited for Yoongi to pick you up.

Suddenly, you felt your heart dropping from its place. You were ashamed of yourself. How you were drunk yesterday and couldn't watch out for your children. The tears started streaming down your face while you wiped them away, one by one.

You saw Yoongi's car approaching you, your heart jumping from hope as he stopped in front of you. Jogging to the other side, you got into the car. He didn't even wait as he drove off.

"How did it happen?" His voice was concerned as he drove fast, looking everywhere.

"I, I don't know... I woke up and my mother told me that Ahran was missing. I believed that they played a game but my mother told me that she looked everywhere in your house, not finding her-" you were cut off by Yoongi hitting the steering wheel, groaning loudly.

"Why did she even leave?" He mumbled under his breath, trying to think of a good reason for her loss but he couldn't find a rational reason.

"It's my fault ... I, I shouldn't go drinking after work, I should've been home early. I could've avoided that. I'm the worst mother in the world, I, I'm so sorry-" you felt the tears blocking your view as you grabbed the roots of your hair, pulling them slightly. The car made an abrupt stop and your head fell forward. You turned to Yoongi who had stopped the car as he faced you. His hands reached your face as he cupped it and wiped the tears away.

"Don't say that you're the best mother in the world! It's nobody's fault!" He smiled weakly at you while he stared into your eyes, intensely. Something felt strange. As if there was a similar scenario like that, you bit your lip and it made you feel confused. You slowly turned your head to the road and he noticed his action while he pulled his hands away, fixing his eyes on the road.

"I think we should look in the park" you mumbled, feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks while you opened the door of the car. He walked out as well.

Since it was a small area in which you lived it shouldn't be that hard to find her and you hoped that she didn't leave any further or wasn't taken away by some stranger. The thought of her being kidnapped send a shiver down your spine. You started running through the roads and parks, constantly yelling her name with Yoongi.

"Ahran!" You yelled, asking people if they saw a similar to the girl you described. The more people started shaking their head, the more hope you started to lose.

"Y/N..." you dropped on a bench in a park, near to the city as you hid your face in your hands, starting to sob silently. You heard Yoongi panting loudly, "We will find her ..." he tried to say between his breaths.

In that moment everything went silent and you heard a silent giggle which was totally familiar. You lifted your head, slowly, looking to the direction where the giggle came from. Slowly, standing up you walked up to the direction. Yoongi followed you, not hearing anything. You pecked your head behind the brush.

"A-Ahran!" You voice cracked once you saw her sitting in the grass as she playing along with a small puppy. He eyes widened the moment she saw you. You dropped to your knees, pulling her into a tight embrace while you kissed all over her face. "How can you make mommy worry so much?" You cried loudly, feeling Ahran pushing you away. You fell on your hip, Yoongi grabbing your upper arms gently, preventing you to fall fully on the ground.

"Go away!" She yelled.

"Ahran ..." you mumbled, your throat burning as you didn't know why she acted strangely.

"I heard you two last night!" She stood up as she stomped up to Yoongi, pushing him with her weak hands. "You left mommy because you love someone else, not us!" She cried out as she tried to ran away but Yoongi grabbed her hands. You weren't really able to tell what she was talking about right now.

And then it hit you. The memories from yesterday started flushing in front of your eyes like a short movie. You remembered every word your mouth left and your concern to Yoongi.

"Ahran ... that's not true. Your father loves you, only you!" You mumbled as you stood up, looking at Yoongi who was really confused about her behavior.

"Ahran", he started, "I, I would never leave you for anyone in this world..." his voice cracked as you examined his face. His eyes were red from crying as he breathed out quietly.

"Why didn't you tell us then? Why did you act like she was a good friend of yours as you brought us out together with her?" She tried to escape from Yoongi's grip. You couldn't believe what you did, but in that moment you kneeled down to her level, taking her hands in yours.

"Look, your father wanted to tell you. He just waited for a good moment." You exclaimed. You couldn't let Ahran detest her father. Since that girl was a part of Yoongi's life you would have to face her more often, knowing that you can't avoid it.

"You're afraid that you will lose your father, right?" Her eyes lit up as she glanced at you, biting her lip. "This will never ever happen. Not in a million years. I and your father love you much than anything else in this world!" You clarified as you started caressing her hair. Yoongi kneeled down as well, nodding at your statement.

"Of course we do." He assured.

"That's why you lied to us..." Ahran was cut off b her father, sighing deeply.

"We, we didn't lie we just-" she shook her head, sliding her hands out of yours while she calmed down a little bit.

"Staying silent and hiding isn't better... that's what you teach me. Also" she stepped away a little bit, "I don't want another person in our life."

Yoongi was frustrated as he let himself fall on the grass. He took a deep breath.

"You're right..." you started, grabbed her hands and guiding her down so she would sit on the grass as well. "I never wanted to share my parents with anyone as well. It's hard, I know" you licked your lips, sitting down on the ground as well.

"Think about it. Your father never wanted this turn out like this neither did I. Sometimes the worst things what people expect the least happen in one's life." You stroked her cheeks not really believing the words which were leaving your mouth right now as you spoke.

"Think about it differently. You will grow up with three people loving you. Maybe this isn't as bad as it seems" you smiled weakly, feeling Yoongi's gaze on you. He knew that the words which left your mouth were a lot more different from yesterday. You didn't mean your words but you wanted Ahran to smile again. Sooner or later, you had to face this. No matter when.

She bit her lip as she exchanged glances between you and Yoongi.

"But I won't ever call her mom!" She pointed her finger upwards. Yoongi chuckled slightly.

"You don't have to" he took Ahran's hands in his as he lifted his head to the side to look at you, "You only have one mother"

For you, it felt like he gave you the first warm smile ever, wholeheartedly as his eyes didn't leave yours.

"Dad," Ahran started while she looked down at the ground, playing with her hands, "Can you... can you stay at home tonight?"

#bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bangtan angst #bts scenarios #min yoongi angst #min yoongi scenarios #min yoongi series #yoongi series #yoongi scenarios #min yoongi x you #bts x you #bts x reader #bts angst #bts series

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stuckinthekookiejar · 7 years

Text

Goodbye Kisses pt 2

Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 || Pt. 3.5 || Pt. 4 || Pt. 5 || Pt. 6 || Pt. 7 (final)

Jin x Reader

Genre: Angst/Fluff (more fluff)

Summary: You woke up and Jin never wanted to let you go ever again. Your confidence in him skyrocketed and you thought nothing could ever make you doubt him again...

Word Count: 1866

The sun rose, it’s light penetrating through the glass of the windows. The blinds were of no help in shielding you from the rays. You awoke in Jin’s arms which currently felt like they were going to suffocate you,

“Jin...Jinnie...yah...wake up...” You poked at his stomach hoping he would let you go from his rather tight embrace, “Jinnie...wake...up!” One harsh poke to his abdomen must’ve worked because he literally jumped in surprise, almost falling off the hospital bed.

He sat up, his breathing was quick and heavy from the rush of adrenaline and looked around like he was confused. Then he looked back at you who also was sitting up at this point,

“J-Jagi? Jagi-ah...is...is that really you?”

“Yes, Jin. It’s really me...” You were taken aback when Jin’s body suddenly collides with yours in a desperate hug. You wrapped your arms around him, rubbing his back as he cried in your arms. This was about the fifth time Jin had broken down ever since you woke up from your coma, and that was only yesterday.

When you had woken up, the doctor was rather perplexed by your sudden improvement, so he advised that you stay in the hospital for another week in order to run some tests. The doctor wanted to make sure everything was okay before you were discharged.

You weren’t so sure if Jin processed the fact that you were alive, awake, out of danger. Jin wasn’t so sure either. Ever since you had woken up, he wouldn’t stop stroking your hand, caressing your face or even look away from you. He thought that he was dreaming or that this was too good to be true. He kept on hugging you from the moment you woke up because he promised that he wasn’t going to ever let you go again.

Now here he was again, hugging you as if you would fade away at any moment,

“Shh, I’m here Jinnie...I’m here...” Your hand came up to stroke his brown locks.

“Y-you know....you know I love you, Y/N? I really, really love you, so much. Don’t ever, even for a second, think that I don’t...” Your eyes widen as you realize that he knew that you had doubted him. Jungkook must’ve scolded him, you thought.

“I know Jinnie...I know, I’m sorry I doubted you...I love you too.” You cried in each other’s arms, comforting each other, building your bond, strengthening it. You thought now that he was here, crying over you, hugging you, loving you, there would be nothing in this world that could ever make you doubt him again.

For the next couple of days, Jin barely left your side. He got you the food you asked for, rented the movies you missed while you were in your coma, and sang to you whenever you asked. He was a complete sweetheart. It wasn’t like he wasn’t one before you got into your accident, but it seemed like he was trying extra hard to be sweet to you after the incident. Jin just wanted to make sure that you felt his love.

Jin was laying with you in the small hospital bed watching a movie when suddenly the door swung open violently, “Noona!” A crying Taehyung, along with the rest of the boys, came in. Taehyung ran to you, almost knocking you backward over Jin as he embraced you, “Noona! We were so worried!” This was the first time you’d seen the boys since you woke up.

You giggled as you patted Taehyung on the shoulder, “Aw, I’m sorry that I worried you guys.”

Taehyung backed away and held your face with his hands and squished it, “Are you okay, noona? Are you really okay?”

“Tae,” Yoongi interjected, “You’re going to break her face at this rate.” Taehyung gasped, and immediately let go of your face.

“I’m fine, Taehyung-ah. Really, I am.”

Hoseok held a box in his hand, “Oh, we brought some fried chicken. The one from the place you like, noona.” You clapped in excitement. You had completely forgotten about your favorite fried chicken, and your mouth was watering at the mention of it.

Everyone pulled up a chair and surrounded your bed which served as a makeshift table. You and the boys happily grabbed at the crispy pieces of tender meat and munched on them. Occasionally, Jin would grab a piece, debone it, and feed it to you. You were a little surprised since Jin never really did that when you were in public or with the boys. He was always shy to show anything towards you in public, so a simple act of feeding you felt really foreign.

The boys took notice of Jin’s change in practice, especially Hoseok, “Waaah, Jinnie-hyung! Why’re you being so loving all of a sudden, hmmm?” He smirked as his eyebrows bounced on his forehead.

Before, Jin and you would just awkwardly accept Hoseok’s teasing, so it came as a surprise when Jin flung his arm around your shoulder bringing you closer to him, “Why? I can’t show my jagi that I love her?” His face came closer to yours and he pecked you on the cheek. The boys cringed as they made various incomprehensible noises.

You were utterly flustered. Jin had never ever acted this way before in front of anyone. You were surprised, but at the same time, you were happy. You thought, maybe I should have gotten into an accident sooner.

After a while, all the chicken had been successfully transferred from the box to all eight of your stomachs. It was starting to get late, and visiting hours were almost over, so the boys got ready to pack their stuff and leave. However, Jin looked as if he wasn’t going anywhere. He had slept in your room ever since you woke up, and you knew he hadn’t gotten a good night’s rest sleeping on that uncomfortable couch.

“Jinnie, why don’t you go back to the dorms tonight?”

“But jagi...”

“No! No ‘buts’. I’ve seen how you’ve been getting back pain from sleeping on that tiny couch, and it is not healthy for you. Especially with the kind of job you have, you need to be healthy. I am totally fine now. I think I can manage to sleep by myself. Now go back to the dorms...or else.” Jin pouted but accepted your suggestion. He never defied you whenever you added “or else” at the end of your statement.

The boys leave and finally, you think that you could get some alone time. You loved Jin, but you also needed your fair share of solitude from time to time. But suddenly, the opening of the door disturbs your two seconds of peace.

“Oh...Jungkook? Did you forget something?” Jungkook was silent as he took long strides over to you. You were confused when he came and wrapped his arms around you,

“Noona, I’m glad you’re okay.” He let go of you and left just as quickly as he had entered the room.

You thought that he was particularly quiet today, and you realize that he was because you must have caused him so much worry. You didn’t tell anyone, especially to Taehyung, that Jungkook was your favorite dongsaeng. He always came to you whenever he wanted to get something off his chest, and you gladly lent him your ear. He entrusted you with his inner feelings that not even the members knew about. Seeing him worried like this made you guilty, but you were happy that he cared for you just as you cared for him.

You couldn’t sleep. Your throat felt so dry that it was practically pleading for a drink of water. On the side of the bed, you pushed the “call” button and after a short moment a nurse came in,

“Hello, my name is Yoo-Bin. You called for a nurse?”

“Ah, yes. Sorry, but do you mind getting me a glass of water?”

“Oh, of course! I’ll be right back.” She disappeared for a few minutes before she came back in and handed you a bottle of water,

“You know, the nurses and doctors were pleased to hear that you woke up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! We thought you were never going to wake up...I felt bad for that boyfriend of yours.” She came closer to you and whispered, “Don’t tell anybody, but I saw him in your room late at night once, after visiting hours. You’re lucky to have a guy willing to sneak into a hospital to see you...I wish I had a boyfriend like that...”

Jin? Sneak into a hospital in the middle of the night? Jin? The same Jin who’s scared of being a foot away from a grasshopper?

“Oh...my boyfriend did? I’m so sorry if he broke the rules...”

Yoo-Bin giggles, “Oh no, don’t worry. I didn’t tell anyone about it. I thought that he was just so sweet that he came to see you and took the effort to sneak in and...oops...I’m sorry....you probably wanted to go back to sleep...”

“No, no! It’s okay. I like talking to people, plus I can’t really sleep right now. I wouldn’t mind the company if you aren’t busy, Yoo Bin-ssi.”

“Oh please, call me Yoo Bin.”

The two of you clicked instantly. Your interests were similar, your hobbies were similar, even your personal tastes were similar. It was like your friendship was meant to be. The both of you talked as if you’ve known each other for years, and you found it comforting to speak to someone other than the boys for once. The boys were nice to talk to, but sometimes you wished you had time for some “girl” talk.

After what felt like hours, Yoo Bin leaves you to get some needed rest. You thought that she was a very nice and you were glad to have befriended her, but something about her looked...familiar.

The next morning Jin came by super early just as visiting hours began.

“Jinnie! You’re here rather early, don’t you have to get to the studio?” He greeted you with a hug,

“I’m sure Namjoon would understand if I’m a little late to practice. I just wanted to come and check if you were doing okay.”

“Jin, I’m not some sick child you know.”

“No, but you’re my sick jagi.” You cringed, but you also thought that it was cute.

“Hey, Jin? When I was in a coma...did you ever visit me...like super late? Like you ‘snuck in after hours’ late?”

Jin shook his head, “Um, I don’t think so. The only time I could come around was during our lunch breaks in the middle of the day. And me? Sneak in? You’re funny jagi-ah, I trip over my own two feet. How am I supposed to successfully sneak in without getting caught?”

It was true, you knew Jin wouldn’t be capable of sneaking in late at night...then who...

“Ms. Y/L/N, I’m here to just check on your blood pressure.” Yoo Bin walked in with a sphygmomanometer in her hand.

“Oh, Yoo Bin! I thought you were a night shift nurse?”

“Yeah, well my shift doesn’t end until...” Her smile faded into a look of surprise as she noticed your boyfriend, “Jin?”

Gif not mine, credit to owner

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