#jin crack

[taetaespeaches]

“Jin, just get in the car.”

seokjin x platonic!reader (oc); feat. yoongi and namjoon genre: crack word count: 8.7K

a/n: Ok lovelies! Here we Jin hanging out with platonic reader/Kid (Yoongi’s girlfriend) sort of against his will when she picks him up from his eye doctor appointment. It’s pure crack, she’s a terrible driver, there’s TONS of references to ridiculous songs, and lots of bickering and finding each other kind of hilarious. I hope you all enjoy and thanks so much for reading this overly massive crack fic :)) 

p.s. Here’s reader’s/Kid’s playlist, made by my best friend (the girl who inspired Kid) Madi (@aurorassadprosee​): caution: gay idiot driving. The songs from this playlist are literally all throughout this fic so it might be fun to listen as you read <3 

As your eyes dragged over the book propped up against your legs, you couldn’t help but lose track of the words as your attention drifted to Yoongi. He was sitting in his desk chair, Namjoon leaning over his shoulder as they examined a beat that was displayed on the computer screen. You thought the song sounded great but they were both in agreement that certain elements of the song weren’t quite up to par.

You watched as Yoongi leaned back against his chair, hands brushing through his hair roughly as he groaned. Shortly after, Namjoon sighed, looking around the room for a brief moment until he spotted a spare chair. “Well,” Namjoon noted as he grabbed the back of the chair and tugged it towards your boyfriend. He had resigned himself to the fact that their issue with the song would take a bit to figure out.

As Yoongi let out a sigh, he suddenly snapped his head in the direction of his phone, startling you. “Shit, what time is it?” He asked no one in particular as he checked the device. It was thirty-five minutes to noon, you noted as you checked your own phone. “Fuck, I’m supposed to pick Jin up from the eye doctor.”

“Wait, why couldn’t he drive himself?” You asked, worried about your boyfriend’s best friend.

“He just had to get dilated so he didn’t want to drive in case his eyes were all fucked,” Yoongi told you. When you asked if his girlfriend was available, Yoongi shook his head. “She’s at work, couldn’t get away.”

“What time are you supposed to be there?” Namjoon asked.

“Around noon,” Yoongi replied, dragging his hand over his face. “Shit.”

“What about sending our manag-”

“I can get him,” you suddenly interjected, both men turning to look at you slowly. They both gawked at you for a moment, making you shrug at them questioningly. Namjoon responded to the gesture with a cackle, his head ducking forward, while Yoongi simply stared at you with an expression of incredulity. “What?”

“I’m not sure Jin would appreciate that the way you think he would,” Yoongi told you, Namjoon still chuckling beside him.

“Hey,” you protested, “offensive.” Yoongi sighed once again as you cocked your head at him. “I like to be helpful.”

“I know you do but-”

“Just give me the keys,” you insisted, tossing your book on the table and standing up. Holding your hand out to him, you glanced down at your hands. “If you leave now you’ll miss a breakthrough on this song and you’ll regret it.”

“Namjoon was just about to suggest a great idea where we have our manager go and get him,” Yoongi noted, pointing out to you that there were indeed other options than sending you, the woman notoriously known amongst your friends as a terrible driver.

“He’s busy, leave him alone,” you countered. “Yoongi. Trust me.” Yoongi thought for a moment, turning to look at Namjoon who shrugged at him.

“I’ve never died riding with her,” Namjoon bargained.

“See,” you pointed at Namjoon. “And I’ve driven him a million times.”

Scoffing, Yoongi shook his head, though he dug his car keys out of his pocket. “Jin is going to kill me,” he noted to himself.

“If I don’t do it first,” you joked, your timing horrendous as Yoongi’s eyes popped wide open. “Ba dum tss,” you added, the man gawking at you. “It was a joke,” you quickly defended. “Lighten up, Min.”

Looking up at you with his keys in hand, he shot you a pleading expression. “No more jokes,” he warned, making you nod innocently at him. “Just, be careful.”

“I always am,” you insisted, taking the keys from him and tossing them twice in your palm.

“Wait, why my car?” Yoongi suddenly realized, his eyebrows pulled together in question, his hand reaching for yours as if he wanted to reclaim his keys.

“Mine’s almost out of gas,” you told him nonchalantly. “Like, the empty light is on.”

“Jesus Christ, Kid,” Yoongi huffed, his expression softening when you pouted at him. “We’ll gas it up tonight,” he accepted, used to these kinds of antics from you. Leaning toward him, you pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“My hero,” you teased, smirking at him. “Oh my god,” you suddenly gasped, startling both men as Yoongi flinched and Namjoon jolted slightly, both of them staring at you with wide eyes. “I get to show him my driving playlist.” The playlist was a newer thing, and you were pretty sure Jin was one of the last ones among your friends to hear it, not having driven with you for a while.

You caught the way Yoongi’s lips curved up into a smile at the mention of the driving playlist. “My song is Lgbt by cupcakKe,” Yoongi informed Namjoon, trying to hold back his gummy grin and maintain a disinterested attitude, but failing.

“And Strawberry Kisses,” you reminded him. “One of Australia’s finest contributions to the world.” Namjoon pulled a face of question as he pondered the song title.

“I don’t know that one,” he told you, making you point to his phone in his hands.

“Nikki Webster, look it up,” you told him, ignoring the way Yoongi shook his head at you. “I’ve been missing your strawberry kisses, ‘cause nothing’s as sweet, the taste still drives me crazy,” you sang, looking at Yoongi to find him smiling at you as he continued shaking his head.

Namjoon let out an amused chuckle at you, looking up from his phone to watch your short performance. “My song became Coconuts last year, right?” he asked.

“Kim Petras,” you added with a nod. “A modern day classic.”

“Is that the ‘you can put em in your mouth’ song you make me listen to?” Yoongi asked, confusion written across his features.

“Don’t act like you don’t know the song, Honey Boy.”

Ignoring you, he instead asked, “why that song?”

“Namtiddies,” you pointed out.

“My-yeah. Tiddies,” Namjoon said quietly, a bit shy. However, he couldn’t hold back his smile either as Yoongi chuckled in disbelief.

“Anyway,” Yoongi changed the topic. “Jin is in Yeongdeungpo, can you handle that?”

“That far? Aren’t there hundreds of eye doctors in Gangnam?” Yoongi’s eyes widened as he waited for you to answer his question. “Of course, I can handle that,” you defended dismissively. “Have a little faith, Min.” However, when he told you the address, you stared blankly at him. And when he started giving you explicit directions, you waved him off. “Yeah, wherever that is, I’ll just use maps.”

Scoffing, Yoongi looked at you knowingly. “Right, because that’s worked so well before.” He did have a point, but you only called him crying one single time! It wasn’t like it was a regular occurrence, he was just holding this one unfortunate event over your head, which really wasn’t fair.

“Ok, that was one time,” you complained. “Like I said, have a little faith.”

“I’m trying to have faith but your track record is horrendous, Kid.” Namjoon chuckled again, making you shoot him a glare. “At least she has a license,” Yoongi defended you teasingly, suddenly becoming the only person who could criticize you. A knight in shining armor, truly, putting you down one moment only to jump to your defense the next.

“Yeah,” you added lamely. “Now let me leave, Jinnie’s chariot awaits!” Glancing at Namjoon, and allowing your eyes to drop to his chest, you placed your hands on your knees to become more level with his upper body. “Mary Kate and Ashley,” you sang from the song Coconuts. “I bid you adieu.”

“Did you just say goodbye to his tits?” Yoongi gawked at you.

“Did you just call my chest tits?” Namjoon questioned your boyfriend, biting back a smirk as he sat on the knowledge that he’d get to use that against Yoongi for years to come.

“Everybody love the twins,” you sang again with a shrug. Turning away from the boys, you began to make your exit toward the door, though you could hear Yoongi following behind you, his sock-clad feet shuffling along the floor. As you opened his studio door, he reached for your wrist.

“Hey, just- please be careful,” Yoongi pleaded. “I’m serious. For the love of god, do not crash my car and kill my best friend and girlfriend all in one go.”

“Was that listed in order of importance?” You asked, ignoring his plea. When he looked at you in confusion you began repeating his words. “Your car first, then Jin, then me- which I would prefer to be called the love of your life or something cute-”

“Kid,” Yoongi interrupted you with a serious expression, though as always, you could see the hint of amusement in his eyes and the slight quirk of his lips.

“I promise,” you groaned with an eye roll, though you couldn’t help but flash him a smile. “I’ll be careful, Yoongi.” The man hummed disbelievingly before leaning in and giving you one more soft kiss.

“You are the love of my life,” he whispered to you. “So come back safely.”

“That’s better,” you grinned. “I love you,” you told him sincerely, just before shaking his keys in his face.

Starting down the hall, you heard Yoongi mumble, “I love you, too, brat,” making you giggle to yourself as you pulled up the playlist on your phone that was specifically made for driving your boyfriend and your mutual friends around.

Before Yoongi’s studio door closed, you could just barely hear the hum of Strawberry Kisses playing from Namjoon’s phone. Maybe that would help inspire them for their song, you smirked.

Let the fun begin.

[line break]

Pulling up to the eye doctor’s office, you mentally patted yourself on the back. Only got lost once and only five minutes late. Spotting Yoongi’s car, Jin exited the building, a dorky throwaway pair of sunglasses secured on his face. It was one of the pairs that the eye doctor gives you after you’ve been dilated so the sun doesn’t blind you as you leave the office. Very chic.

Turning up your music, you rolled down the window so the soulful melody flooded out onto the sidewalk. Jin halted his steps as the tune of Ego by Beyoncé met his ears, alarming him. Bending over to peer inside the open window, you watched as his mouth fell open slightly. “Shit,” he let out in realization. “Where’s Yoongi?”

“Hey bestie!” You called out over the music. “He’s working! I’m here to chauffeur you, sir.” Jin stared in your direction, though you couldn’t see his eyes through the massive sunglasses.

“I’m not getting in with you,” he informed you.

“Jin, just get in the car.”

“I’m not getting in.”

“Come on,” you whined just as a person appeared down the sidewalk a little ways, and the chorus of the song started blasting through your speakers.

It’s too big, it’s too wide, it’s too strong, it won’t fit, it’s too much, it’s too tough- “What the hell-god dammit,” Jin complained, his legs moving quickly as he tried to get into the car before the oncoming passerby appeared next to the car and heard the song. As you watched Jin hustle, you defiantly turned the song up even louder, counteracting his movements.

“Would you stop blasting this song?” He asked as soon as he shut the car door, his fingers making quick work of finding the buttons on the side of the door. His actions were frantic as he was painfully aware of the stranger getting closer and closer to the car. The car doors suddenly locked and then unlocked, making you laugh evilly at his struggling.

He got a big ego, such a huge ego, I love his big ego, it’s too much.

Jin wasn’t fast enough with figuring out which button controlled the windows, the person walking by the car and very obviously registering the lyrics of the song as he slowed his steps and not so casually looked at you. You smiled and waved, the man awkwardly nodding at you while Jin tried to sink further into his seat, embarrassment flooding his senses, his ears already tinting red. As the window very slowly rolled up, Jin looked as though he wanted the seat to swallow him up. However, he still nodded politely, giving a tight-lipped smile to the stranger as you cackled at his expense.

He snapped his head in your direction as soon as the glass was fully raised. “What is wrong with you?”

“This is Beyoncé, Seokjin,” you informed him as if it was justification for your antics. “Queen B.” You were sure he was glaring but you couldn’t take him seriously with his dorky eyewear. “And I chose it specifically for you, you should be appreciative.”  

“I wish you hadn’t,” he deadpanned, his face still pointed toward you.

“Hey, did you know I started dedicating a song to all of you when I drive you guys around,” you smiled proudly.

“I’m surprised they all let you drive them around still,” he muttered. “Or do you ambush them too?”

Ignoring him, you smirked. “I Kissed A Girl is your sweet Poopsie’s song.” The man cocked his head, but you didn’t give him time to respond. “I almost changed your song to something else but I decided against it,” you nodded at the radio, “because you know, this is very fitting with the whole massive ego thing, Mr. Worldwide Handsome. But I also kind of wanted to dedicate Hannah Montana’s Nobody’s Perfect to you, just to humble you.” The man sat in silence for a moment as though he was processing. “Everybody makes mistakes, Jin, everybody has those days-”

“Stop it,” Jin tried to cut you off.

“Nobody’s perfect!”

“Why didn’t Yoongi tell me you were getting me?” He spoke overtop you, making you have to hold back a giggle.

“Look, I got you a coffee,” you held up the ice beverage for Jin to inspect. “Does Yoongi do that?”

“Actually no,” he replied, taking the cup from you. Hesitating to take a drink, the man raised it toward his lips. “Thank you,” he mumbled just before taking a sip.

“See? Just trust me, this will be fun,” you assured him, watching as he turned to look out the window.

“Trusting you is easier said than done considering you almost hit a pedestrian the last time I rode with you, and you ran a red light the time before that,” he complained toward the car door, refusing to look at you.

“You’re being dramatic,” you rolled your eyes. “Like you said, I almost hit that pedestrian, but I didn’t. And people should know not to walk out in the street when I’m coming.” Jin couldn’t help but let out a silent laugh at your comment, the man shaking his head.

Inspecting his reflection in the side mirror, Jin tsked at himself. “Don’t worry, the song wasn’t necessary to humble me. These glasses are doing a good enough job already,” he chuckled at himself, just before taking another drink of the coffee.

“What?” you asked in outrage. “It’s a whole look.”

“It is not,” he scoffed, though a smile was planted on his face.

“It so is,” you insisted before grabbing your phone. “Hang on, hold still.”

“Why- no. No photos,” he held his hand up to block the camera from capturing his face.

“Jin, you look amazing as always, let me take your damn photo.” You watched as his shoulders slumped, making you roll your eyes. “You know what, I have the perfect song for this moment.” you held up a finger at him, silently telling him to wait as you searched through your playlist.

Jin huffed impatiently as you continued to hold up your finger, your other finger tapping on the screen with every swipe down the list of songs. After a brief moment of silence as he anticipated your next move, the car filled with a spoken piece, followed by an early 90s electronic beat, Jin waiting curiously to recognize the song.

“You better work, cover girl!” you began singing along to RuPaul’s Supermodel, Jin immediately letting out a squeaky laugh. “Work it, girl, give a twirl! Do your thing on the runway!”

“You’re insane,” Jin chuckled, you nodding at him as if you already knew that.

“Are you going to work it or not, Seokjin?” You cocked your head at him, waiting for him to pose for your awaiting camera. The man sighed, triggering you to prepare to scold him, but then the next moment he was pulling modelesque poses: pouting his lips, framing his face with his hands, and giving stern expressions that made him look serious and experienced in modeling.

All the while, RuPaul continued singing through the speakers, telling Jin that, “when you walked into the room, you had everybody’s eyes on you.”

“Excellent, you’re a supermodel, Jin, everything looks good on you,” you teasingly complimented as you repeated the lyrics.

When you started filming the man, he pulled the sunglasses down slightly so he could look over them. As soon as he did so, the sun struck his eyes, making him dramatically scramble to cover his face as he yelled out in pain. “Oh my god,” you laughed, “are you ok?” Instead of answering you, Jin simply let out a squeaky laugh and nodded. Smiling at him, you ended the video. “Good, let’s get this bitch on the road,” you patted the dashboard, just before discarding the phone in a compartment in the console. “You can look through those photos if you want,” you nodded to the phone. “But no deleting.”

Jin slowly picked the phone up, but before he could go to your photos, he stalled, inspecting the open playlist that was currently playing. “So this is the playlist, huh?” he asked, studying the cover photo which was a Kermit the Frog meme stating, “back by unpopular demand: me”. The title was “caution: gay idiot driving”. To make things worse, the description simply stated “put on ur seatbelt babes xo”.  

“I can’t tell if it’s better that you’re so aware of your shitty driving or if it’s worse because you know and you still drive like shit,” he noted. You simply shrugged at him. “If you have to warn people to put their seatbelts on like this, maybe you shouldn’t be behind the wheel.”

“What do you mean?” You asked in defense. “Jin, it’s the law, I’m simply reminding you of that, you’re welcome. Safety first, pal. Seatbelts always.” With a sassy eyeroll, the man reached for the seatbelt and secured it into place across his body.

As you began pulling out onto the street, Jin asked, “so what are everyone else’s- jesus.”

Cutting him off with a slam of the brakes, you smiled guiltily. “Whoops,” you pulled a wince, Jin straightening up in his seat as he craned his neck to look at the traffic on the street. As you started inching forward, Jin started yelling at you to stop. “What?!” You asked in panic, just before a car honked behind you as you nearly rolled out in front of them. “Oh fuck off! Stop honking, it’s not like I hit you,” you ranted to the driver.

Before Jin could say anything, or really even react in any way, you pulled onto the street and started driving forward. Looking over at him, you caught him adjusting his seat belt and ensuring it was latched properly. When he looked up, he pulled the sunglasses off his face so you could see his incredulous expression, his eyes blown wide, almost comically so if it wasn’t for the terror swirling around them. “You’re gonna kill me this time, aren’t you?” He asked in doomed realization. Despite the sun hurting his eyes, tears pooling along his lash line, he ensured he kept the glasses off long enough for you to see his seriousness.

“No,” you retorted with scoff, Jin putting the sunglasses back over his face. “I’ve never been in an accident, I’ll have you know,” you defended yourself. You were met with a moment of silence that you filled when you recalled a past driving experience. “Well, there was that one time that I backed into a pole but that was hardly anything.”

“How many near accidents have you had?” He countered. Well. That number is a lot higher, you thought. “Should I even ask that? Is it better not knowing?”

“Jin, stop worrying and enjoy the ride,” you brushed him off. “Besides, I promised Yoongi I wouldn’t kill you so you’re safe.” Before he could respond to how un-assuring that was, just then, Charli XCX’s Vroom Vroom started playing, the opening lyric, “Let’s ride” blasting through the tension in the car in the most hilarious timing. “Listen, my song is on,” you smiled knowingly as Jin stared at you in shock.

Unfortunately, mostly for Jin, traffic was a shit show. It wasn’t so much an issue for you, but it did mean Jin would be stuck in the car with you longer. He really should be thankful, but the man had not yet loosened up. He’d get there, you were sure of it.

The car was mostly quiet as you drove among the mass of cars on the road, you giving Jin no real reason to worry for about three minutes. “Are your eyes ok?” You asked, Jin humming in confirmation. “Do you need to rest them? Does the sun hurt them? You can close them if you want,” you suggested, wanting to ensure Jin’s well being. Ironic, considering you were driving him.

“No, no, that’s ok, I’ll keep them open,” he insisted, nearly making you snort. As the song changed to Thot Shit by Megan Thee Stallion, you gasped, alarming Jin for a moment as though he was holding his breath.

“Oh! This is Peaches’ song,” you told him, turning it up slightly just as Jin exhaled with relief.

“Thot Shit is?” He confirmed. Smiling slightly, he shook his head. “Why is that?”

“Because she’s basically the hottest, coolest person ever,” you said as though it was obvious. You were speaking facts.

“I think you’re the only one who thinks that,” he commented with a smile, enjoying teasing the girl he was truly very fond of. If there was anyone who could irritate Jin more than you, it was Peaches. “Wait,” he suddenly recalled your earlier information. “Why is Poopsie I Kissed A Girl?” Smirking at him, Jin cocked his head in question. “Please tell me you haven’t kissed my girlfriend.”

“God no, I wish,” you said, Jin scoffing in both relief and disbelief. “She’s just hot, a girl’s gotta fantasize, Seokjin.”

“Well stop fantasizing about my girlfriend,” Jin demanded, though you could tell he quite enjoyed someone talking to him about how attractive his girlfriend was.

“Don’t worry, she’s obsessed with you,” you told him as though you were annoyed by it.

“The feelings are mutual,” he noted. “Too bad I’ll never see her again because you’re gonna kill me.”

“Oh shut up, you’re fine,” you rolled your eyes. In poor timing, you tapped the breaks quickly. Jin gripped the arm rest as he looked for a reason for you to be break checking him. “Sorry, my foot slipped.”

He took a moment to simply breathe as you stole glances at him, waiting for your beratement. Choosing to move on, suddenly deciding he was mature or something, he relaxed in his seat just slightly. “What’s everyone else’s songs?”

“Oh would I love to tell you,” you started through a growing grin. Jin simply chuckled in response, settling in for your ridiculous explanations. “Well, Yoongi is Lgbt by cupcakKe, in honor of the bi wife agenda,” you smiled at your boyfriend’s expense. “And because ya know, he’s rolling with me.”

“Right, ‘gay idiot’,” Jin referenced the name of your playlist.

“And he’s also Strawberry Kisses,” you told him, Jin shrugging at you cluelessly. “Why do none of you know this song?” You complained with an eyeroll. “Anyways, Hobi is Material Girl by Madonna.”

“Obviously,” Jin chuckled, nodding in agreement.

“Obviously,” you repeated with a giggle of your own. “And Petal is I’m A Slave 4 U, because, well, she’s sexy and I would do anything for that woman.”

“I love that song,” Jin suddenly announced, placing his hands to his knees and attempting to do a slut drop from a seated position, making you cackle loudly as you reached for the phone. “Hey,” he ripped it out of your hand, shooting you a glare over the sunglasses where they slipped down his nose slightly. “No phone while driving.”

“Ok fine, but put the song on,” you told him, Jin following your direction and finding one of Britney’s best songs. “It’s Britney, bitch!” you announced as the song started playing. Grooving along to the beat, you continued through your list of songs for your mutual besties. “Taehyung is That Don’t Impress Me Much by Shania Twain.”

“Great song,” Jin nodded in approval.

“For sure slayage,” you agreed as you started doing the choreo to I’m A Slave 4 U. “And it’s perfect for Tae because he has that whole vibe check, I mean, I swear he can be so hard to impress.”

It wasn’t until you swerved into the lane next to you that Jin looked over at you and clocked you doing choreo behind the steering wheel. “Goddammit,” he complained, tapping your arm. “Can you pay attention to the road? Now is not the time to be dancing.”

“You did it first,” you whined, putting both hands back on the wheel.

“I’m not driving. And even if I was, I’m not you. You specifically are not allowed to dance while driving,” he told you.

“You know, you’re getting lame in your old age,” you teased him, grabbing a drink of your iced coffee.

Sighing for the hundredth time since being in the car with you, Jin crossed his arms over his chest. “Ok, go on. What’s Namjoon?”

“Oh! Namjoon is Coconuts by Kim Petras because his boobs are huge,” you said excitedly.

Jin smirked at the comment as he looked straight ahead. “His chest really is massive.”

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed at him. “You are never beating the husbands allegations with that smirk, Jin, fix your damn face.”

“I’m not trying to beat any allegations-” he began ranting. “He works out, of course his pecks are huge, he’s always in the gym these days, you expect me not to notice?!” Laughing loudly at him, you glanced at him as he took another drink of his coffee.

“Is the coffee good?” You asked nonchalantly, pretending as though he didn’t just have a very Jin-like outburst.

“Very,” he said shortly but loudly, still in rant mode, making you hold back more laughter.

“Good. Anyways, Daisy is Maneater by Nelly Furtado,” you continued going through your songs. That made Jin smile as he nodded his head.

“Fitting.”

“Right? ‘You either wanna be with me or be me,’ like that’s her,” you said, noting lyrics from the song. “And then you have Jimin and Dear. Jimin is Hot Girl by Charli XCX.”

“What?” Jin snorted, looking at you in expectation of your explanation.

“He’s literally the ‘it’ boy. I don’t make the rules, Seokjin.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m a hot girl, pop girl, rich girl, I’m a bitch girl ‘catch me if you can’ girl,” you sang the song, Jin awing in realization.

“You’re actually so good at this,” he commended you. “That’s so fitting.”

“I know,” you agreed. “Trust me on this, I know you guys. So Dear is Fantasy by Queen Mariah. Because I have the biggest crush on her,” you said dreamily. “She’s so cute.”

“You have a thing for everyone,” Jin pointed out, making you glare at him.

“It’s literally not my fault you guys all date the most beautiful girls I’ve ever met.” You had a point, and you both knew it. “Oh my god, are you ready to hear Jungkook’s song?” You asked, excited to share this information with him.

“I actually am,” he giggled. “Do tell.”

“Ok, first, Holly. I Would by One Direction,” you told him, smiling widely at your own cleverness. “It has the lyric about the tattoos,” you reminded him when he didn’t quite get just how good your song choice was. “Oh my god, Jin, go to the song.”

You waited as he found the song in your playlist, all while Dirrty by Christina Aguilera played throughout the car. “Who’s your favorite One Direction member? Your bias if you will.”

“What?”

“If it’s not Niall, you’re wrong.”

“It’s Harry,” he told you.

“Jin,” you said disappointedly, the song’s acoustic guitar intro cutting you off as you gasped. “Oh my god, ok, skip to the second verse.”

“How am I supposed to find the second verse,” he directed to you, causing you to turn and glare at him. “I don’t know this song,” he defended himself from your judgment.  

“Jin, you’re literally a musical artist, you know the approximate time a second verse would start,” you pointed out, still staring at him.

“Ok, jesus, can you look at the road?” he pointed out the windshield. “Like now, oh my god,” he cried out as you barely hit the breaks in time before you would have bumped into the car in front of you. “I can’t stand you right now.”

“Oh, chill. That’s an exaggeration,” you held back a smirk.

“I don’t think it is,” he retorted.

“Look, now it’s at the second verse,” you nodded to the screen that displayed the map of Seoul on the dashboard, though an address wasn’t entered into it. A slight oversight on your part, but you weren’t about to tell Jin that you may be a bit lost. Another sigh left Jin as you started singing along. “Back in my head we were kissing,” you smiled. “This is the verse.”

“Yeah, I’m aware,” he said through a small laugh. One thing you truly adored about Jin was his ability to play along even when you were annoying him. He was never too serious, and you always had fun with the guy. Even if sometimes it was at his expense. He was a good sport. “Feels like I’m constantly playing a game that I’m destined to lose,” you continued singing. “It’s right here,” you said excitedly between the vocals. “‘Cause I can’t compete with your boyfriend, he’s got 27 tattoos!”

“Oh my god,” Jin let out a squeaky laugh, genuinely amused by Jungkook’s resemblance to the lyrics. “That’s too good.”

Reaching for your phone, Jin’s laughter halted as he glared at you. “We’re at a red light, Jin, just let me find Jungkook’s song.” Letting go of the phone, you quickly started searching for the song. As you scrolled through the hours worth of music, Jin alerted you to the fact that the light was green.

“It’s green,” he told you.

“One second.”

“No, it’s green. You’re holding up traffic.”

“I just need to find this-” you were cut off by a horn honking behind you.

“Do you even hear that? Or does it happen so often that you don’t even register it anymore?”

“Hear what?” You asked, Jin’s shoulders dropping. “There,” you noted cheerfully as you clicked on the song. “Shut up,” you huffed, shooting a look of disgust in your rearview mirror at the person behind you.

“So you do hear it.” Pressing the gas a little too carelessly, the car jolted forward, tossing Jin against the back of his seat. “Jesus,” he breathed out, you giggling guiltily.

“Sorry,” you winced. “Ok but the song.”

Jin listened for a moment, recognizing the song but not placing it quite yet. As the chorus hit however, a hilarious squeaky laugh erupted from the man as he nodded and clapped in amused approval.

I fell in love with an emo girl, I’m in love with an emo girl, blasted through your speakers as you started jokingly headbanging to the song. “That’s the best one of all of them,” Jin exclaimed through his laughter.

Giggling with him, Jin joined you in headbanging. As you sang along to the song, both of you falling into laughter while you tossed your hair around, Jin headbanged a little too hard and sent his disposable sunglasses flying across the car and smacking your window, falling into your lap. A scream left you in surprise as Jin looked over at you in shock.

“Holy shit,” you exhaled, clutching your heart. “I thought I hit something.”

Jin couldn’t help but laugh at your admittal. “I’m surprised you didn’t,” he joked as you handed him his glasses back.

“You need to be careful, you’ll break those,” you noted, nodding at the glasses as he put them back on his face just before striking another model-like pose.

“That would be a travesty.”

Finally Jin had relaxed, and you both were having fun listening to your ridiculous playlist. You knew this drive could be really fun for you and Jin, and it had been way too long since you hung out with him just the two of you. Not that having Yoongi and Poopsie with was ever a bad thing, but it was just nice to hang out with your friend one on one every now and then. However, you finally realized the oversight you made before, and unfortunately you’d have to let Jin in on the issue.

As he jammed next to you, rocking his body back and forth to Ariana Grande’s 34+35, you quickly looked toward him nervously. The motion was fast but it was enough to catch his attention. When you did it again, he was already looking at you.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his tone already worried.

“Ok, it’s not the worst news but like it’s still bad news,” you started, glancing over at Jin only for him to push a finger against your jaw, immediately forcing you to look straight ahead again.

“Just tell me,” he sighed. “And keep your eyes on the road.”

“Well, I was vibing because you’re so fun,” you attempted to soften him up with flattery. “And I’m pretty sure I took several wrong turns and now I have no idea where we are.”

A snort left Jin as he looked at the screen displaying a map. “There’s no address in that, is there,” he realized. As you shook your head, Jin laughed breathily. “You know what, I actually think this is my fault, I should have known this would happen and therefore I should have been navigating.”

“You’re right,” you agreed, feeling the way Jin’s eyes bore into your skull despite not being able to see them at all as his eyes were still shielded by the silly sunglasses.

“You’re unbelievable,” he protested, just as Paris Hilton’s Stars Are Blind, started playing.

“What did I do?” You asked in offense, your mouth falling open in shock.

“You’re not supposed to agree, this is clearly your fault,” he argued as he typed the Hybe building’s address into his phone. “Don’t worry, I’ll get us out of your mess.”

“Oh whatever,” you rolled your eyes, looking out your window. “I love this song,” you added quietly.

“I do too,” Jin agreed, both of your biting back smiles. “Ok, you keep going straight for another block.”

“So the next street I turn what? Right?”

“Yes. Wait,” he then said, looking at the phone and then at the street signs. “Shit, that was our turn, why does it tell you the turn is coming so late?” He asked. “It’s like turn in a quarter mile and then bam you missed your turn,” he ranted, you rolling your eyes but smirking as you finally found yourself on the upper ground.

“Maybe you just have a hard time following simple directions,” you teased, Jin scoffing at you as you smiled victoriously.

“Ok take the next right, it’ll take us to the right street anyways. Following his instructions, you turned the car and began down a new street. “Alright, now get into the left lane, we need to turn up here.

“Mmm,” you hummed, looking out the front windshield suspiciously. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure, what do you mean, am I sure?” He questioned you, his voice raising in volume and pitch as he prepared to dive into another rant. “Get in the left lane, you’re gonna miss the turn.”

“But this doesn’t look right,” you second guessed him, continuing in the middle lane.

“Get over!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

Still not fully trusting his navigation, you kept driving straight, Jin sighing harshly as he sat back in his seat and looked out his window. “Are you kidding me right now?”

“Oh shit,” you looked down the street, realizing that you missed the turn. “Was that really the turn?”

“Of course it was, like I told you ten times. Get in the left lane,” he repeated his earlier command.

“I wasn’t sure!” You defended yourself.

“Take the next left. Please.”

“Ok, I will,” you told him through a small smile, Jin shaking his head as he bit back a grin of his own. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he chuckled, both of you relaxing once again. After you made the correct turn, a slower song you didn’t really know started playing, making you look toward Jin in confusion.

“What the hell is this?” You asked, Jin lowering his sunglasses to shoot you a look of disbelief.

“This is- are you serious? This is Coldplay. It’s literally your playlist,” he pointed out to you.

“Coldplay?”

“It’s actually a really good song, I’m surprised it’s on here.”

“Not as surprised as me,” you said, thinking to yourself as you tried to figure out why this song was on your driving playlist. “Hey, wait, what do you mean it’s actually a good song and that you’re surprised it’s on here.”

“I-” he started, sighing to himself once again. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Thin ice, buddy.”

“Right, so why is Magic on your playlist if you don’t even know the song?” He asked you, intrigued by your surprise at the song.

“Magic,” you repeated. “I’m not a man in his forties, I have no idea why Coldplay is on here.”

“Hey, I like Coldplay and I’m not that old, you bully,” he commented in defense of himself.

“Wait, it’s called Magic?” Nodding at you, you smiled in realization. “I thought I put Magic by One Direction on here.”

“You’re joking,” he snorted, resting his head against the glass as he chuckled at you. “Ok, now it makes sense.”

“If I were to put a Coldplay song on here it would be feature BTS,” you said as though it was the only option. “My Universe or nothing.”

“Ok, now that’s valid,” Jin agreed, pressing next on the song, Can’t Believe It by Flo Rida and Pitbull playing next with the opening line, damn, that white girl got some ass. “And we’re back,” he noted, smiling at the song. “Take the next right.”

“Thanks, co-pilot,” you nodded, preparing to get into the right lane. As you hit the blinker, you somehow switched on the windshield wipers, sending them into full speed. “Aah!” You screamed, Jin jolting in his seat. “I don’t want those on.”

“Can you not scream while driving unless it’s an emergency, you’re gonna give me a heart attack,” Jin complained, clutching his chest.

“Jin, I don’t know how to turn these off,” you ignored him, panicking over the wipers that thrashed against the dry glass.

“You just turn the dial on the shift, I don’t even know how you turned them on, honestly,” Jin calmly explained to you. “Can you get into the right lane?”

Haphazardly looking in your right side mirror, you started going into the right lane, only for the car behind you to honk at you. Again. “Oh my god,” Jin groaned in embarrassment, causing you to wince at the upset you caused in both the driver behind you and your passenger.

You quickly slid into the lane, the car behind you switching lanes immediately and driving up next to you. As you glanced over and Jin looked over your body at the driver, they flipped you off before speeding away, Jin gasping at their action. “Oh fuck you!” You yelled at the person, just before taking your turn.

“Yeah, fuck you! Asshole!” Jin added, yelling after them, making you smile at his support. “People are so rude.” Then, however, he turned his attention to you. “Check your mirrors before you just switch lanes, this is driving 101.”

“I did!” You defended as the windshield wipers still sped across the glass. “Can you help me with these?” You asked, gesturing to the buttons on the turn signal lever.

“Just hit the switch, it’s right there,” he glanced over. “That one.”

“This one?” You asked, flipping it back and forth, adjusting the speed of the wipers, slowing them and speeding them up repeatedly. Jin stared at you for a moment as you struggled, as though he was trying to figure out how you could be so academically smart but such an idiot behind the wheel. Finally, you turned the switch all the way down, the wipers finally halting. Sighing in relief, you could see Jin shaking his head out of the corner of your eye. “You know, it’s not that easy to drive when I know you’re over there judging me.”

“Well it’s not easy to ride with you,” he retorted. “So I guess we’re even in that regard- oh, look, still on,” he pointed out when the wipers squeaked across the dry windshield once again.

“Fuck,” you complained. As you looked down at the controls, Jin pointed ahead.

“Please just leave them and focus on the road,” he begged. “We’re almost there.” Hesitantly, you placed your hand back on the wheel and straightened your posture as you tried to gauge Jin’s mood.

Worried that you had upset the man, you turned the music down slightly as you traveled down the busy Seoul streets, making a conscious effort to keep your hands at ten and two on the steering wheel. Cascada’s Evacuate The Dance Floor hummed lowly from the speakers, only interrupted every ten seconds by the squeaking sound of the windshield wipers dragging across the dry glass. Jin was staring out his window, completely unaware of the comedy of the situation. Glancing over at him every few seconds, you wondered how you could fix the vibe. From all the years of teasing Jin, you had never actually angered him. This was very new.

And then Jin turned toward you, a wide smile on his face as a laugh that resembled the sound of the wipers when they were on a faster speed rolled out of his mouth. “This is so ridiculous,” he wheezed, immediately putting your concerns at ease as you tossed your head back in laughter, both in relief and hilarity.

Jin continued to chuckle as he rested his head against the headrest and stared ahead at the road. The song came to a close, being replaced by Shaggy, It Wasn’t Me. Both you and Jin reached for the volume at the same time, you being just a bit quicker as you giggled while turning it up. “Now this is my jam,” you announced.  

“Honey came in and she caught me red-handed, creepin' with the girl next door,” you both sang, smiling at yourselves and the silliness of your current activity. “Picture this, we were both butt naked, bangin' on the bathroom floor, how could I forget that I had given her an extra key? All this time she was standin' there, she never took her eyes off me”, you both sang, swaying from side to side to the beat.

As you stopped singing at the start of the first verse, Jin shockingly continued rapping along, your jaw dropping to your lap as you gawked at him. Jin bit back a smile as he continued the verse, ignoring your reaction. Between his rapping, and the fact that he was still wearing those ridiculous sunglasses, you were certain you had never seen a funnier more shocking sight in your life.

“Why- how do you know this song so well?” You finally pulled yourself out of shock enough to ask, Jin letting his smile break through. His ears were tinted red, but he continued with the song. “Rapper Jin?!” You yelled excitedly, taking your hands off the steering wheel as you pretended to bow down to him.

Without missing a beat, Jin simply reached across the console and held onto the bottom of the wheel, keeping the car steady within the lane. As the pre-chorus started, you started singing again, you and Jin switching back and forth. When you sang, “But she caught me on the counter,” Jin followed up with “Wasn’t me.”

“Saw me bangin' on the sofa,” you sang.

“Wasn't me,” Jin responded.

“I even had her in the shower.”

“It wasn't me,” Jin sang, raising his hands up and waving them in front of his chest as though he was denying the accusation in the song.

“She even caught me on camera!” You exclaimed, Jin maintaining his cool as he yet again sang, “Wasn’t me.”

You crumbled into laughter, going as far as resting your forehead on top of the steering wheel as you wheezed, Jin pushing you lightly as he squeakily laughed. “Eyes on the road,” he told you through his laughter, making you gather yourself enough to sit up and at least look ahead of you. You both continued to dance and sing for the remainder of the song, though your giggles never fully disappeared, both of you losing your composure at random, triggering the other one to burst into bouts of laughter all over again.

When the song ended, a fast club-like electronic beat started playing. You sang along to the song as Jin eyed you suspiciously, not trusting the direction the song was going. When the chorus hit, you singing with it proudly, “Treat me like a slut, little dirty bitch, I love to fuck,” Jin groaned before a breathy laugh escaped his lips.

“This is Kim Petras, Jin,” you told him as though that should clear things up as to why it was an absolute bop.

“If you killed us right now, they would include this in the news article,” Jin informed you. When you looked at him questioningly, he sighed. “BTS’ Jin dies in horrific car accident. Witnesses reported that ‘Treat Me Like A Slut’ was blasting from the remnants of the totaled vehicle,” he mimicked a fake news report, painting the picture for you.

“Oh my god, I’ve actually had that thought before!” You exclaimed. “I was FaceTiming Holly one day and I literally almost died when this truck pulled out and almost ran right into the side of my car, and-”

“Are you sure the truck pulled out and almost hit you? Not the other way around?” He interrupted skeptically.

“Believe it or not, yes,” you told him sassily. “Anyways! Teenage Dream but the Glee version, you know the one sung by Blaine? That was playing, and I did have the thought that if I did get in an accident, that’s what would be playing.”

“I’m honestly surprised you’ve only had this thought once,” Jin remarked, making you giggle because the dude did have a point. “Holy shit,” he then realized, placing both hands on the window as he gazed at the building just beside you. “We made it.”

“Of course we made it,” you rolled your eyes. “I’m not as awful as everyone thinks I am.”

Scoffing at you, Jin ignored the comment, simply choosing to stare at the building in gratitude. As you parked the car, you mentally patted yourself on the back: another car ride with the gang and no one died.

Pulling up to the curb, you slightly nudged it with the tire, the car shaking much more violently than it should have. Jin’s “jesus christ,” slipped from his lips as he turned toward you one more time.

“Sorry,” you smiled with amused guilt. At that moment, All Too Well by Taylor Swift started playing in the car. As soon as you parked the car, which automatically unlocked the doors, Jin reached for the door handle, trying to get the hell out of there. Quickly, you locked the doors again before placing your hand against Jin’s chest and shoving him back against the seat.

“What the hell-”

“We have to sit in here and listen to this,” you informed him. “You can’t just walk out of the car during Taylor Swift, Jin.”

“Sure you can, you just get out-”

“No.” You and Jin stared at each other for a moment before Jin sighed, relenting, and you smiling as you started singing along. “Oh yeah, it’s the 10 minute version.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Jin deadpanned, making you giggle as you settled in your seat, swaying along to the obnoxiously long tune.

Finally stepping into Yoongi’s studio, both Yoongi and Namjoon turned towards you both with wide eyes. Yoongi appeared visibly relieved you actually made it back in one piece, which you immediately took offense to. Before even greeting you, he looked at Jin, inspecting him slightly. “You all good?”

“Hey, what about me?” You complained.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jin replied with a nod.

“Did she drive ok?” Yoongi asked in surprise, Namjoon looking just as shocked beside him.

“Hey!”

“Oh god no,” Jin responded dramatically. “But we made it.”

Finally Yoongi looked at you to find you glaring at him. “They’re reasonable questions, Kid,” Yoongi told you, biting back a smile. “How are you?”

“I’m offended,” you answered jokingly, all the boys in the room laughing. Wrapping your arm around Jin’s shoulders, tugging him to your height, you pressed your cheek against the top of his head, the man resisting the contact but not pulling away. “We had fun!”

“She did get me a coffee,” Jin mumbled just as you released him from your hold. “No one else around here does that for me.”

“And the playlist?” Namjoon questioned, Jin sighing though his features softened. “What’s your song?”  

“Ego,” Jin sighed through a small grin. “Beyoncé.”

Yoongi let out a breathy chuckle, his shoulders shaking as he stared at you fondly, while Namjoon laughed and nodded in amusement.

“Honestly, I'm just glad you didn't show up with your own car and that fucking bumper sticker,” Jin then told you as he meandered toward the sofa.

Gasping at him, you shot him a glare. “Hey, that shit is hilarious and you know it."

The bumper sticker under scrutiny sat proudly on the left side of your bumper and stated: Jesus is my copilot and we’re cruising for pussy. It simply was hilarious, and Jin could not seriously deny that as he finally admitted, “... yeah it is.”

“I bought that for her,” Yoongi interjected, as though he needed credit for the hilarity of the sticker. You remembered coming across it in a little shop, Yoongi pointing it out to you. Both of you laughed so hard over it that Yoongi couldn’t resist buying it for you. He even cleaned the spot on your bumper and put it on for you, the man crumbling to the ground as soon as he took a look at its finished state while you stood behind him filming him as you cackled excitedly.

“Didn’t a cop recite it to you after pulling you over?” Namjoon recalled.

“That cop was an asshole, I was hardly even speeding. I think he was just annoyed by the sticker,” you complained.

“He was an asshole, but it was also mortifying hearing him read the sticker to us,” Yoongi said, chuckling once again as he shook his head.

“No sense of humor.” Pulling out your phone, you grinned at Yoongi before turning and looking at Jin. “You know who does have a sense of humor though,” you started, Jin already about to rise from his seat to stop you. “Look at this video of Jin posing to RuPaul in his dorky sunglasses,” you said gleefully, skipping over to Yoongi as Jin followed behind you.

“You said it was a whole look!” Jin ranted, you tossing your head in laughter as you pressed play on the video for Jin’s friends to enjoy.

#jin crack #jin fluf #seokjin crack #jin x reader #jin x platonic!reader #jin fic #seokjin fic #seokjin imagine #jin imagine #seokjin fanfic #jin fanfic #seokjin scenario #jin scenario #bts reactions #bts crack #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts fics #bts imagines #bts scenarios

[rapmonie2047]

Egghead - KSJ

pairing: kim seokjin x y/n

genre: fluff

rating: pg

notes: i’m missing seokjin so much. the picture he posted the other day with hobi and jimin made me cry. i just want him home, but i’m so proud of him. this fic is my therapy in the meantime. also, i dont have any clue how any of the miitary things work, so its probably really inaccurate. please forgive me lol

plot: y/n joins hobi and jimin to visit her boyfriend in the military

You have been nervous all day. You tossed and turned all night due your excitement. The morning started off with you trying on everything you own and then settling for the first outfit you put on, a nice pair of jeans and Jin’s favorite t-shirt on you. You ran around your house gathering all the bits and bobs you were going to need for the day, your film camera, some things Jin asked you to pick up for him, and a gift from you to Jin. You stopped for a moment to think of anything else you might need when three knocks in a rhythmic pattern interrupted your thought. You go to open the door and are immediately met with two arms surrounding you.

“Y/N!!!! Are you ready to visit your boyfriend?” Hoseok asked as he pulled away from the hug.

“I’m so nervous, but I just want to see him so bad!” You smiled in response. It had been a few weeks since you were last able to see Seokjin in person due to different schedules, but finally, you were going to be able to see him today. Oh, how you’ve longed too see him, to smell him, to touch him, to kiss him... 

“Me too. We’ve got to get going now. Jimin’s waiting in the car.” You grabbed your things while Hobi waited patiently at the door and then went down to join Jimin, who quickly gave you a hug and smile before starting the journey to see Jin.

The drive felt so long in your current state, but at last, the three of you had arrived. You practically ran to the entrance of the building, leaving Hoseok and Jimin laughing at your antics. “You aren’t even going to wait for us?” Jimin called after you. “Excuse me, the love of my life that I have not seen in what feels like 27 years is just behing those doors, so I’m completely justified in my excitement,” you sneer back at him.  “You know I’m just messing with you, Y/n. Come on, let’s head in.”

There he is, speaking to a few of his friends. He looked better than when you saw him last. His cheeks were fuller, meaning that he was eating well, his body was more muscly due to all of the exercise he was getting from his training, and his hair was growing out. You remembered when he first shaved it off. He looked good, but it was just strange seeing him without the mop of hair he had grown out in the months leading up to it. At the time, you were hit with the realization of what was to come, so you began to tease him and say that he looked like an egg while your tears started to fall. He just chuckled and held you tightly, gently wiping away your tears. 

Feeling yourself start to get overwhelmed with the emotion of seeing him again, you fell into a trance as you slowly began to walk over to him. Jimin and Hoseok stayed close to the door, sensing the emotional reunion that was about to happen. Jin still hadn’t noticed you, but the colleagues he was speaking to did, stopping the conversation and signaling to him that something was going on behind him. He slowly turned around and was met with your teary eyes. 

“Hello, Egghead,” you said as the tears began to fall.

Jin didn’t say anything, but he picked you up and hugged you as tightly as he could. After some moments, he slowly put you down. He pulled away, and you could see the tears that had started to fall from his own eyes. Before you could say anything else about it, he smushed his lips against yours in the most passionate kiss you’ve had in a while. Suddenly, a flash of light and sounds of sniffles interrupted your kiss. You and Jin pulled away to see Hoseok taking a picture, and Jimin crying a little behind him due to the sweet moment you and Jin just shared.

Jin turned to you and started to wipe your tears away. “Yahhhh, jagi. I missed you so much. You look gorgeous.” You ran your hands through the hair on his head. “I missed you too, Seokjin.” You reached down to grab the gift you had prepared and handed it to him. The gift was a cute mini photo album filled with polaroids of you, Jin, and some of your favorite date spots and memories that you wanted him to be able to look through on days that you weren’t able to physically see each other. He took it from you and began to look through it, wiping his tears as he reminisced on all your special moments together. “This is so precious, jagi. Thank you. I love you.” He leaned in to kiss you again.

“Uhh, sorry to ruin your moment, hyung, but we’re here too,” Hoseok interrupted. 

Seokjin pulled away and gave you a wink before turning to give his brothers hugs too. The four of you sat down and began to catch up on what eveyone had been up to since the last time you had all been together. It was nice to see Jin speaking with his brothers in person. You watched on with so much love in your eyes. You were so in love with the man, you were just happy to be in his presence again. Jin saw you looking at him from the corner of his eye and grabbed your hand under the table, reassuring you of his love for you.

The rest of the day was spent chatting and taking pictures to post for army later. Man, how you loved your egghead.

#kim seokjin #kim seokjin x y/n #y/n #jin #jin x y/n #the astronaut #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #bts army #bangtan army #bts fluff #jin fluff #bts crack #jin crack #kpop #bts imagine #bts drabble

[park-jimin-isnt-real]

𝓪 𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓽𝓮𝓼

♡ pairing: jin x reader (crushes) ♡ rating: G ♡ genre: fluff, crack ♡ au: summer job ♡ tw: n/a ♡ wc: ~1.3k ♡ track: Six Feet Under the Stars ~ All Time Low: “Meet me on Thames Street, I’ll take you out though I’m hardly worth your time. In the cold you look so fierce but I’m warm enough because this tension’s like a fire. We’ll head to South Broadway in a matter of minutes and like a bad movie, I’ll drop a line and fall in the grave I’ve been digging myself, but there’s room for two six feet under the stars.”

♡ summary: Jungkook and Taehyung accidentally-on-purpose spill one of Jin's secrets. Luckily, it's a secret you had, too.

♡ an: this is for @mirahuyooo my beloved darling moodboard maker (she made all the banners you're going to be seeing). i told her i would post hers first so here it is!! enjoy!! 14 Valen-tans Days masterlist ♡♡ main masterlist

You lifted the box up to the shelf, only slightly struggling with it. Mr. Yun had graciously given you and your other coworker, Jin, the night off to celebrate the Summer Festival, so the sooner you got your work done the sooner you could leave.

Mr. Yun was a kind old man with a small business that he hired extra help for over the summer. This was your fourth year working for him, and third year working with Jin. It was a great way to make some extra money while you weren't in school. And the year Jin came around just made the whole experience better.

Jin was so much fun to work with. He was only a couple years older than you, and he was constantly cracking the worst jokes that always made you laugh, no matter how hard you tried not to. You still remembered the one he told you after he introduced himself.

"Do you know what color hamburgers are?" he asked you, barely holding back laughter with the slyest shit-eating grin you'd ever seen.

"Um, brown, mostly?" you answered, very unsure where this question was about to lead.

"No," he squeaked out, "they're burger-ndy!" Jin bust into laughter at the joke, but it took you a moment to connect the dots before the most unattractive snort escaped you. It was such a stupid joke, it shouldn't have made you laugh, but in trying to hold the laugh back you did that.

You had instantly thought that Jin was attractive, but shoved that thought down as soon as it had arrived. First, you were both here to work, and second, with a face like that he was probably already taken. Still, you had wanted to make a good impression, not… that.

But over the years, despite your attempts to squash any and all romantic feelings you had for him, they had only grown as you got to know him better, as you met his friends, as you hung out with him outside of work. Eventually you learned he wasn't taken, but you still didn't let yourself hope. There was no way he liked you back.

"You got that?" his voice shook you from your thoughts, and you looked over to see Jin (with his now light pink hair that you adored a little too much) gesturing towards the box.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," you responded as you pushed it into place. "Just trying to get finished so I can get ready for tonight."

"I'm glad you're excited," Jin smiled. "I used my undeniable charm to convince Mr. Yun to let us go tonight." That got an eye roll from you.

"Sure, Jan." That was something you had picked up from Jungkook, the youngest member of their friend group who had the most sibling-like sibling relationship with Jin. The kid was a brat, but he was an adorable one, and he was always sweet to you.

Jin groaned. "Don't encourage the brat by repeating the things he says."

"But Jungkook is funny."

The gasp he let out was overdramatic on purpose, and you giggled. You thoroughly enjoyed teasing him about his jokes (really, Jungkook was just a bad influence on you). "Brats, the both of you!" He turned away, but you caught the hint of a smile on his face. "That's it, I'm telling Mr. Yun you offered to stay here by yourself tonight!"

"No no no no!!" You reached out for his hand to keep him from getting too far away. "No, Jin, don't, I'm sorry! You're way funnier than Jungkook!"

"You promise?"

"Yes! Please, I really wanna go tonight." You added a pout, something you learned from Jimin. Jin rolled his eyes, but acquiesced.

"You really picked up all the worst habits from my friends." He exhaled. "Come on, I'm nearly done with my section, and it looks like you are too."

You dropped his hand and the two of you returned to working in comfortable silence. After a few more minutes of work, you were both finished and you began locking up. Jin waited for you just outside the front, and you heard the tell-tale laughter of two trouble-makers.

"Jin-hyung!"

"Y/N-noona!"

You glanced over your shoulder to see Jungkook and Taehyung bounding towards you two. "Hey guys," you greeted in return as you finished.

"Noona, are you excited for your date with Jin-hyung tonight?" Jungkook asked, a mischievous smile lighting his face. You nearly dropped the store keys, looking between the giddy maknae and Jin's own shocked face.

"Um… what?"

"Jungkook—"

"Yeah, Noona," Taehyung added with a matching smile, "you're ready to go, right?"

"Taehyung!"

"Jin, what are they talking about?" you whisper-yelled to him, very confused.

He gave you a very pretty but very unconvincing smile. "Nothing, just ignore them, they're just being brats." Jin turned back to the boys with a look that said they were going to get killed later.

Jungkook wasn't phased and leveled the elder with a look of his own. "Hyung, have you seriously not asked her yet?"

Jin sighed. "I was getting there until you two terrors showed up!"

You looked between the three bickering friends and took a tentative step back. Jungkook mentioned the word date and both he and Taehyung seemed very insistent that Jin was supposed to ask you on one. But Jin didn't like you like that.

"Hey, Jin?" You finally spoke up, catching all of their attention. "I know we were all planning on hanging out tonight but were you going for something different?"

"It's now or never, hyung," Taehyung smiled, patting Jin's shoulder.

"Fighting!" Jungkook added.

"Would you two get out of here?" Jin lightly pushed them away, and they easily went, offering you a small goodbye and a promise to see you later at the festival.

Once they were both far enough away, Jin smiled at you softly, his face red. "I'm so sorry about them, I don't know what possessed them to do that." You simply nodded and waited for him to continue, to answer your question.

There was a long moment of silence where you two just looked at each other. You wondered what he was thinking about as he met your eyes. Was he thinking about how to let you down easy?

Maybe you shouldn't have asked him if he wanted more for tonight. Maybe you can hang out with Jungkook and Taehyung tonight instead of Jin.

"Listen—"

"Do you like raisins?" Jin asked over what was going to be your poor attempt to backtrack. The question came out of nowhere, and honestly, the past ten minutes were giving you whiplash.

"What?"

"Raisins, you know, the little dried-up grapes. Do you like them?"

Slowly, you shook your head. There was a small niggling feeling in the back of your mind that said this was some kind of set-up for another one of his jokes, but you weren't sure where it was going.

"Okay, so, how would you feel about a date?"

Jin had that smile on his face, the one where he was waiting for you to get the joke, but there was also a hopeful gleam in his eyes like this was more than just a joke.

You took a deep breath, trying to quell the laughter from the pun. "Jin, is this seriously how you're asking me out?"

"Did you really expect anything different from me?"

You let out a small giggle at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. "That's a bad joke," you managed.

"But the date will be amazing, I can promise you that." He added a wink that had you blushing as hard as he was. "I'll meet you later tonight?"

You nodded quickly. "Yeah, I'd really love that." You looked away and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. Jin waved goodbye with one last smile and ran off to catch up with the younger boys. You started on your way home to get ready for the date you never thought you'd get.

tagging: @daydreamer-writing

thanks for reading!!

#bts #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts writing #bts au #bts fluff #bts crack #bts valentines event #writing event #14 valen tans days #jin x reader #jin drabble #jin fluff #jin crack #monfics

[btsmosphere]

33 lucky number

anon, your lucky number has paid off!! this was one of the prompts I was hoping someone would ask!! unfortunately, my hope was a bit misguided because there is a very good reason I've never written this one, and it's that the plot is so complicated I have never been able to figure it out🤣if I had enough time to dedicate I could probably sit down and force a coherent plot together, but alas my writer brain is currently bouncing around all to many wips you may notice the prompt is very ambitious but also vague😅basically my vision was an elaborate crackfic that was also a high stakes mafia au, and while I was dying to write it, but it never transpired because I just could not figure it out! I've waded through my plans for it and managed to pick a scene to draft what it could be like, so enjoy!💜

33: From a til post (I can't find the post to link, but maybe you know the one!)-Jin is a Michelin critic but they are really mysterious, yn is a spy/mafia agent/something like that and thinks he might be the same-hijinks ensue n Jin gets involved but he's just like !!! I just wanna eat good food

pairing: jin x reader genre: mafia/spy au, michelin critic au, crack treated seriously, angst?, humour?, strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers word count: 650 rating: pg13 warnings: mention of gun violence, mention of trafficking (unspecified), mention of alcohol, jin being obstinate and frustrating

~a/n: the scene is from the middle of the proposed fic, giving me plenty of time to hint at context I don't have to explain😌it's a mess of tone with crack and e2l and idk what's going on. but it was fun!

Your chair squeaked on the floor as you adjusted it nervously. Wincing, you were suddenly unable to look Jin in the eye.

Only when Miyeon came back with menus tucked under her arm did your tense shoulders loosen. Rewarding her with a grateful smile, you took the worn paper in your hand. Those same tattered edges, more so now than even you remembered (you really had been away too long), felt grounding under your fingertips as you flipped through the menu, despite knowing it by heart.

Quickly deciding, you still clutched to the menu rather than discarding it. It formed a meagre shield as you finally chanced a glance to your dining companion.

Your stomach knotted tightly at Jin’s face, his frown spelling distasteful confusion as he turned the pages of the menu, pinched between his fingers as if he could hardly bear to touch something that wasn’t printed on satiny parchment, like the first place you had met.

With a deep breath, you forced down your growing defensiveness. Miyeon’s food could speak for itself. In any case, there were more important things to discuss aside from food. Jin’s strange obsession with the luxury when it came to his food had made your journey more interesting for sure, but you hoped you had finally brought him somewhere that would both satisfy his crankiness for good food, and keep you both out of sight.

“I’ll take whatever’s recommended,” he concluded at last, tossing the closed menu onto the tabletop.

“You won’t be disappointed,” you spoke darkly. You had thought coming back to your childhood friend’s would give you respite, but with Jin opposite you, an irreversible reminder of what was at stake right now, you only felt small.

He met your gaze evenly. Here, there were no fancy candelabras or flower arrangements to get in the way of the two of you. It gave you a full view of his wrinkling nose as he cast his eyes over the modest eatery, but you were thankful he bit his tongue.

Holding his gaze, you lowered your voice.

“At the very least, we won’t get into a shoot-out in this restaurant.”

An eyebrow raised.

“You seem very sure of that.”

“They won’t know about this place. We need to lay low, figure out a move that doesn’t involve walking right in to one of theirs.”

“You mean to say this place has no associations with any restaurant of renown,” Jin retorted dryly. You heard the thinly veiled disdain loud and clear.

“ ‘Renown’ won’t save them once this gets out,” you bit back.

A crease of worry emerged between Jin’s eyes, which widened slightly.

“But – the woodland pastry at Dokgu’s is world-famous!”

Your face transformed into total exasperation. How did he always manage to turn the conversation into food? What kind of spy neglected their mission so much? Either it was a very convincing front, hiding what his real priorities were, or he had got too comfortable on the job.

“And their trafficking head chef is about to be as well,” you went straight for the throat, not having time for this.

You had tried for too long to spare his feelings, as well as salvage some secrecy as to your objective, all before it had been lost in the mess of bloodshed that had led to you to Jin’s doorstep, fleeing in his car in the dead of night and washing up right back here. Everything was out in the open with nothing to stop it. Better to be straight with him so you could work together and get this mission over with. All the sooner you could retreat to lick your wounds.

“At least we should try to stop their kitchen garden from burning to the ground,” he pouted, “they’ve been working on a new hybrid of mint that’s supposed to be ground breaking.”

You motioned at Miyeon for more wine.

~

Thank you for reading, and to anon for playing my roulette! Play for a drabble of your own here💜

#bangtanarmynet #bts crack #bts mafia au #jin drabble #jin imagine #kim seokjin imagine #kim seokjin scenario #jin scenarios #kim seokjin crack #jin crack #jin angst #jin mafia au #kim seokjin mafia #bts drabble

[bonvoyagenoona]

wait no it makes sense!!! the trajectory of jihu and bongseon’s relationship from when they first met will have parallels to how their 3 sons meet their own future mrs. kims!!! as of right now jihu and bongseon’s ‘relationship’ is the mirror of joon and sad girl’s relationship!!!! OH MY GOD YES WHICH MEANS JOON AND SAD GIRL ARE ENDGAME EXACTLY

Lollllll I LOVE THIS CLOSE READING!!! Y’all are so perceptive?! But you know me -- I never give it all away! So let’s see if you’re right...

--

Parallel Universe Namjoon: (munching popcorn) I wish I could find out if Sad Boy Namjoon and Sad Girl are endgame already. All of this suspense is killing me!

Parallel Universe Jin: (sipping soda) Right? The Other Jin wasn’t lying. This is fascinating.

Mrs. Kim: WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE ARE MY SONS?!

Parallel Universe Namjoon: Technically, we are your sons---

Mrs. Kim: FROM THIS UNIVERSE!

Parallel Universe Taehyung: (tossing a kernel up and catching it in his mouth) Honestly, I’m just ready to see more smut.

Mrs. Kim: (stares, scowls) 

Jin: (grins)

Mrs. Kim: Maybe you... are... my sons...

#asks #your asks #amomk #a map of mrs. kims #bts fanfiction #bts drabbles #namjoon fluff #jin fluff #taehyung fluff #namjoon crack #taehyung crack #jin crack #bongseon has HAD IT with the UNIVERSES lol #anon

[lilapplesheadcannons]

I just realised something. Jin Ling better get an expert matchmaker when he grows up. Lord, he's surrounded by the most rizzless people ever!

Who is this boy going to learn from? His dad, the martyr to chronic foot-in-mouth disease? Jiang Cheng, the man boycotted by all the matchmakers? Wei Wuxian, disaster gay? Lan Wangji, lord of let me bite you to tell you how I feel?

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs crack #mdzs headcanons #jin ling #jin zixuan #jiang wanyin #wei wuxian #lan wangji

[whyse7vn]

PALENTINES -

[ ot7 x reader ]

SINGLE LADIES 😁🔥

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

tae: gave my gf an hour long whimpering audio for valentines day

namjoon: you make me sick

jimin: this definitely counts as harassment

jk: yoongi got me a plastic fork

yoongi: yw

y/n: the audio was 5 minutes long????

tae: ok but i sent it to you 20 times

do the math????

jin: you sat there and whimpered into ur phone for 5 minutes that’s crazy

don’t you feel any shame??

tae: why would i feel shame?

it’s called being in love jin

you should try it sometime

jimin: it’s called harassment

hobi: ew man

jk: free asmr :D

jin: it’s gonna be free tae from jail soon

tae: no it won’t

jimin: ur right when you get locked up no one’s gonna want you free

hobi: KEEP TAE IN JAIL 🗣️💯

jk: personally i would want tae free

jimin: personally ur not real so it doesn’t matter what you want

jk: :ᗡ

hobi: ew how the hell did you flip it

i hate that

ew

jk: :ᗡ

hobi: HOW DID YOU DO THAT

jk: :ᗡ

hobi: STOP GO AWAY I HATE IT

namjoon: yoongi got jungkook a present this year?

yoongi: not by choice

y/n: it was by choice

hobi: it was a plastic fork

yoongi: a plastic fork not given by choice

y/n: yoongi

yoongi: no

y/n: please

yoongi: no

y/n: pretty please :3

yoongi: it was by choice

y/n: see told you!

yoongi: don’t understand why we have to buy each other shit on this holiday anyways

i like ONE of you not all of you

tae: am i the one you like be honest

yoongi: bye

y/n: it’s our silly little tradition don’t be a loser yoongi

yoongi: whatever

jin: ok anyways who ordered me a fucking marching band???

jk: idk but did you like it??

y/n: gonna take a wild guess and say it was jungkook

namjoon: i thought you have his card how did he order that??

y/n: he has apple pay now i can’t stop him 😕

hobi: wait no fair

jin did NOT deserve a marching band all he got me was his butter photocard???

jimin: he got me that too….

jk: OMG ME TOO >_<

tae: i don’t feel special anymore

namjoon: really jin?

y/n: mine was signed!!

yoongi: cheap

jin: you literally got kook a plastic fork?

yoongi: he loves it

jungkook tell him you love it

jk: i love it

yoongi: see

jin: whatever don’t care

jimin: namjoon got me a fucking book

jin: lol that’s crazy cuz you can’t read

jk: i’m sorry to hear you can’t read jimin hope you can soon :/

namjoon: i put a lot of thought into the book i got you

jin: that’s cute but he can’t read so

jk: i wish i was a book

tae: if you’re a book does that make you a tree?

jk: guys

y/n: no jungkook

jk: oh ok

jimin: i CAN read btw

yoongi: don’t care

jin: sounds like fake news

jk: omg wow ur a fast learner jimin you can read now!!!

jimin: ur talking way too much today

you should stop

jk: is he talking to me????

hobi: y/n got me a holiday to australia

i’m not gonna go cuz like bugs

but that was really nice

y/n: you’re welcome!!!!

tae: k but i got sex

y/n deleted this message!

tae: 😕

silencing me like they did MLK

jimin: what

jk: milk

hobi: did you just compare urself to mlk?

jin: yeah never say that again

tae: why not?? it’s true

yoongi: you are nothing like mlk

jk: tae ur not milk

namjoon: taehyung do not compare yourself to martin luther king ever again please and thank you

jk: or milk

y/n: and in black history month too…

tae: you don’t understand me or him

y/n: yeah ok

back to gifts

joon got me some really pretty flowers

jimin: boringggggggg he does that every year

jk: namjoon got me wood

hobi: ?

namjoon: statue

it’s a wooden statue thing

not just wood

tae: joon giving other boys wood for valentines ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

u wanna know who i gave MY wood too

y/n deleted this message!

namjoon: tae shut up

jin: saw that

tae: i’m just like mlk i’m telling you man

y/n: stop

tae: sorry

jimin: hobi got me shoes

hobi: i did

jk: hobi got me cheese

hobi: expensive cheese

y/n: i took yoongi to those cute photo booth things

yoongi: they didn’t need to know that

y/n: yes they did

we are sharing what we got each other

read the room yoongi

jimin: yeah yoongi read the room

tae: how tf u read a room??!

a room not a book ☠️☠️

u guys dumb as hell

jin: you not knowing what reading a room means makes a lot of sense actually

jk: send photobooth pics ^0^

bet u looked so cute

not you yoongi

y/n

her

not yoongi

i’m talking to y/n NOT you yoongi btw

yoongi: shut up

and no

you’ll never see those photos

jk: ☹️

hobi: so what did yoongi get y/n??

yoongi: don’t worry

tae: personally i’m worried

jk: me 2 guys yoongi is really scary

what if he killed her

y/n: ?

jin: i want to blow jungkook up

jk: i’m no ballon 😭

jimin: probably fucked for valentines let’s be real

tae: well that’s obviously NOT true lmao 😜 ☠️

yoongi: why is that “obviously” not true

we could of

tae: you didn’t

yoongi: and you know how?

tae: cuz i just know

yoongi: yeah ok

we could of for all you know

on the actual day too

tae: you weren’t even with her on valentine’s day

yoongi: and you were?

y/n: he wasn’t

tae: ok

but i could of been

yoongi: but clearly you weren’t

tae: neither were you

namjoon: both of you stop

tae: idk why yoongi acts all high a mighty

especially when it comes to her

y/n: ok that’s crazy

how about you don’t talk about me like i’m not here!

yoongi: idk why taehyung acts like he has a chance lmao

jk: guys

tae: that’s actually crazy

you’d be fucking surprised yoongi!!!!

yoongi: what’s that supposed to mean?

tae: what do you think it means?

tell me yoongi

guess

i’ll tell you if you’re right or not

yoongi: shut the fuck up

tae: or what?

hobi: why this kinda sexualllll

jimin: like 😭😭😭😭

y/n: LMAO STOP

jin: arguing over pussy that belongs to neither of them is crazy i’m just saying

jk: pussy \ ^0^ /

namjoon: how about we all stop arguing and move back to talking about the gifts we got eachother !!

hobi: jungkook got me a ballon

jk: yeah

do you love it

hobi: sure

jk: ^_^

jimin: personally i think hobi’s lying to you kook

jk: WHAT

jimin: i think he hates his ballon actually

jk: hobi pls say he’s lying

hobi: he’s lying

you see it may seem that way because on the outside im a very chill and nonchalant man

y/n: that is not true actually!

hobi: but on inside i am actually very chalant

EXTREMELY chalant no joke

so basically inside im going fucking crazy over the ballon jungkook gave me but it just doesn’t seem like that cuz im a chill guy

jk: but inside ur chalant

hobi: exactly

jk: jimin why would you lie to me

jimin: ur easy to lie to

jk: no im not

jimin: namjoon died in a car crash 24 hours ago

jk: NO NAMJOON OHHMYGOD NAMJOON NO

namjoon: i am not dead

jk: oh

y/n: how did you fall for that

namjoon cant even drive

jk: oh yeah

lol namjoon cant drive guys

namjoon: ok we all know

hobi: so what did you guys actually do on valentine’s day

jk: minecraft but then it got too scary so i played valorant instead

jimin: idk what any of that means but ok

i personally watched movies with joon

namjoon: yeah

i dropped by kook’s and y/n’s place first tho to give my gifts and stuff

hobi: where was my movie invite?????

jimin: we did call you

you were like high as hell

hobi: oh

wow

how real of me

jin: i cooked steak

jimin: for urself?

typical

jin: kys

no

for me and y/n actually

y/n: …

jin: my fault

yoongi: what

tae: oh

jk: SHE SAID SHE WAS BUSY

TTAHSTNOT FAIIROGJKFNKLDVLKFNKLFHKLNNDKVHNFKVNKLGNGR UFHDFHDKJ GHDKLNGFKLNGFG FHJDJHHGR DHGGRHBDNBF JGHKJGHGR

hobi: ????????????????????

namjoon: cool

jimin: jin???? out of everyone JIN??????

why would you fuck jin

jk: WHATR OHMYGOF WHAT?????? SHUT UP

jimin: on valentine’s day too…..

even fucking ME would make more sense than jin right now

jin: tf is that supposed to mean?

jimin: i said what i said lmao

tae: she cant of fucked jin

cuz she’s fucking me

yoongi: LMAOOOO

u really think your special dont you

thats crazy

jk: WHYIS EVERYONEFUCKING MY GIRLFRIENDOHMGYOJFDJFDKJDSDB

hobi: i dont get it even if she was fucking tae why couldn’t she fucked jin too?

y/n: i am like right here you know

tae: because me and her are serious

yoongi: serious???

you are just a rebound

tae: yoongi i think you’re just upset she didn’t come to you first after the whole jaehyun thing

yoongi: i’m glad she didn’t actually because now i know for sure i’m not rebound

you are

tae: shut the fuck up

yoongi: why? you getting upset?

idk why you’re acting like the victim here when you’re using her for the same thing

hobi: woah??

jimin: cap taehyung bitchless

yoongi: it’s time you stop using y/n to get over jennie and grow some fucking balls

jin: hold on

jimin: WAITTTTTTTT

hobi: SHUT FUCKING DOWN FR????

jk: imgonnapassout

y/n: oh

namjoon: yoongi

tae: i am not using y/n to get over jennie and you know that

hobi: wait ur fr??? taejennie was fr??

LIKE ACTUALLY?? OHMYGIDTHISISREAL??

yoongi: i know that? thats crazy how could i know that??

you didn’t even tell us about jennie

for over 3 months you were with her and you didn’t tell us

and then those photos of you and her were leaked and you were all depressed for ”no reason”

and now all of a sudden your obsession with y/n?

yeah you’re not using her you’re right i’m just fucking stupid aren’t i?

jimin: holy shit man

tae: i am not using her

yoongi: so why is yeontan with jennie right now?

y/n: tae you told me he was with you parents?

tae: yeah

but

i didn’t tell you that because im using you or anything i just said that because i didn’t want to cause any problems

y/n: you lied to me

for no reason

if you told me the truth it would of been fine

tae: i know

y/n: so when i came over

were you planing on sleeping with me anyways?

were you mad at yourself for calling jennie and leaving yeontan with her?

did you use me to help forget about it?

tae: did you use me to help get over jaehyun?

y/n: no

i can tell you that in full confidence no

now answer my question

tae: you know i would never do that to you

y/n: its a yes or no question taehyung

tae: i would never do that to you

yoongi: yes or no you asshole

tae: shut the fuck up

yoongi: answer her question

tae: leave me the fuck alone

tae left “SINGLE LADIES😁🔥”

jk: wow

y/n: didn’t sleep with jin btw

jk: ohthankgod

y/n: did sleep with tae once

we are NOT serious

jk: double ohthankgod

wait

y/n: and now i am going to sleep

jungkook come cuddle

gn all

jk: ON MY WAY OHMYGOD IM ON MY WAY

gn

jimin: good night …

hobi: nite!!

yoongi: gn

jin: goodnight

namjoon: gn

DOWNBAD😭🫵🏻 #2 (minus tae)

6 participants - 5 online

———————————

namjoon: yoongi that wasn’t fair

yoongi: i know

but she deserved to know

and he wasn’t gonna tell her any time soon

hobi: YOU AND NAMJOON KNEW THIS TAEJENNIE WAS REAL THIS WHOLE TIME????

yoongi: i just found out

namjoon knew longer

namjoon: not that long

jimin: ok but how do you know tae is using her fr?

yoongi: it’s not hard to connect the dots

jin: still you could be wrong

yoongi: well he didn’t deny it did he?

jimin: to me it looked like he didn’t know if he was using her or not

yoongi: well he needs to figure that out soon it’s not fair to her

or him ig

but mainly her.

—

hate this don’t care about anything bring back yellow….

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks

#bts crack #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts fic #bts text #bts x reader #btsxy/n #btsxyou #namjoon × reader #jin x reader #yoongi > reader #hoseok × reader #jimin x reader #taehyung × reader #jungkook × reader #bts texts #rm x reader #suga reader #vx reader #hope x reader #hobix reader #bts fake chats #bts incorrect texts

[mushroomwriter]

THE UNTAMED episode 34

#theuntamededit #theuntameddaily #mxtxnet #cdramasource #cdramaedit #dramasource #dailyasiandramas #cqledit #chen qing ling #The Untamed #Jin Ling #Jiang Cheng #A-Ling's jiujiu #TU ep34 #cqlmoments #cql p #myedit #id in alt text #best uncle-nephew duo!! #Jiang Cheng's face in the second gif cracks me up

[twistedappletree]

lan sizhui: hanguang-jun, what do you do if the person you love bats their eyelashes when they want something? how do you say no?

lan wangji: you don’t.

lan sizhui:

lan wangji:

lan wangji: give up. give in.

#resistance is futile #based on an actual convo with my friends lmaooo #mdzs #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #lan sizhui #a yuan #lan yuan #lan wangji #hanguang jun #lan zhan #mdzs crack #mdzs shitposting #mdzs meme #apple memes 🍎 #incorrect quotes #incorrect mdzs #as for who lsz is talking about #I’ll leave that up to everyone’s preference #and just slide in a gentle reminder that jin ling has the puppiest puppy dog eyes to ever puppy dog eye 👀 #YOU SEE THAT KID IN THE DONGHUA?? #HE WORKS IT EVERY TIME #WITH EVERYONE #can’t be fucking mad at him ever because the eYES #oh and obviously #wangxian #lmFAO #expert disaster dad advice: ✨ give up ✨

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

He dies if you don't pay attention to him, its a very urgent situation for an uncle to attend to.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #jin ling #In the audio drama he's banging on the door and it cracks me up #i really wanted to draw jin ling banging on a window but I could not make it look right B*( #he exhibits such strong needy little dog vibes in this scene #scratching and banging at the door because its *Closed*!!!! how could you do this!!! aughhh!!! #i called him jiang cheng’s designer depression puppy before but this really proves it #this is the perfect and ideal form of a spoiled character. when he gets away beeing needy because he’s loved #JC’s threats are *so* empty. He’s the uncle who says ‘no more candy for today’ and caves after looking at JL’s wet eyes #‘hey op are you going to talk about the clown nose?’ okay sure. it was tucked into the fluff of the dog from the last comic #or maybe wwx just grows them every once in a while when he’s being a clowned on

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

what if NMJ just poofs into an owl when qi deviations loom tho

Bonus from a later reblog:

FWUMP

#turning nmj into an owl to incite brother shenanigans :3 #he has three didis and he can't get them to FIT under his wings!! he can't protect them! #you YEET the da-ge?? you yeet him like the soda can??? #JAIL FOR HUAISANG #lil bro is a bird-lover u know he'd be delighted #and overly invested in teaching da-ge how to fly via flap power #until the owl sleep schedule conflicts with canary song-time and da-ge is chasing his songbirds around at the ass-crack-of-dawn o'clock #it'll wear off eventually no worries chifeng zun #buuuuut u keep losing ur temper? then u keep poofing into a flying feathery marshmallow bird that has to hack up pellets #giving chifeng zun the power to be a flying pillow with claws that can double in size and make people piss themselves with demon screeches #he gets to keep his mind intact but he has to be a bird first and suffer indignities #such as various brothers needing soft owl hugs Right Now #altho the ability to harass and prank a-holes and blame it on owl brain is a perk #jgs says something in-character and owl-nmj swoops him and Yoinks some jewlery #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #nie brothers #lan xichen #jin guangyao #zewu jun #chifeng zun #lianfang zun #mdzs #the untamed #fanart

[bbsantc]

my favorite bts fics so far (hyung!line)

hello lovely readers, i hope all of you are doing great. i've been wanting to make this post for a while now. i really want to share the amazing work and talent that many authors have on this app. as a literature fan and hopeless romantic myself, i made sure to pick out all the fics that i think are beautiful and amazing :)

disclaimers!!!!:

some of these fics contain nsfw content (minors dni), or some heavy themes, i am yoongi biased so excuse me if the fic ratio compared to the other members is waaayy bigger (like by a lot i am so so sorry), also this post is insanely long heh (once again, i am so so sorry :p), all pictures are from pinterest!

fluff- ♾️

angst- Ω

smut- ☻

crack/humor- ☼

i would sell my liver to read this again for the first time- ¶

Kim Seokjin

Turn Back Time- @raplinesmoon ♾️☼Ω☻

''pairing: baseball player!Seokjin x doctor!reader (based on the movie 13 Going On 30) genres/au/rating: fluff, humour, angst, smut, time travel au, 18+ summary: After total humiliation at his middle school baseball try outs, Kim Seokjin wants nothing more than for his awkward years to fade away until he’s thirty. Cue a magic baseball glove, and his wish is finally granted. Seokjin suddenly wakes up seventeen years later, now the star pitcher of the team he’d always dreamed of playing for. Confused and overwhelmed at the prospect of the new life waiting for him, he turns to the only person who seems to understand him — you. Will Seokjin learn what it truly means to be thirty, flirty, and thriving? Or will he find himself wishing he could turn back time?''

Every Year- @another-army-spot ♾️Ω☻

''Pairing: Jin x Reader, some implied Yoongi x reader and Namjoon x reader

Word: 15.6K

Genre: friends-to-lovers!au, richkids!au, chef!Jin, bookworm!oc, hard fluff, smut angst?

Summary:  As the daughter of the Kim’s closest friends, you’ve attended their extravagant annual New Year’s party since the year you were born.  No matter what you always spend time with your favorite childhood friend, Jin, who has always been there for you.  Here are the highlights of you and Jin realizing just how important you two are to each other.''

Let's get married as a joke- @burningupp Ω♾️

''Genre: angst, fluff

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x reader

Wordcount: 8210 (I’m so sorry)

Summary: Your best friend Jin has always had a talent of getting you into trouble. Maybe that’s why you’re not surprised that he asks you to marry him as a joke - or that you agree.''

friends get married all the time- @hobipost♾️

''The silly promise you made ten years ago comes back to bite your asses, and you’re both too weak to pretend it never happened

pairing: seokjin x f. reader

genres/tropes: friends to lovers, fluff

words: 2k+''

Min Yoongi

series:

The Truth Between Us- @jimlingss @gukyi ♾️Ω ☼ ¶

“⇒ summary: a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.

⇒ enemies to lovers au with various other au’s thrown in there

⇒ word count: 14k (first chapter)

⇒ genre: fluff, angst, drama”

Dating advice- @taleasnewastime ♾️Ω☻

''Summary: It’s been months – ok, it’s been years – since you last went on a date. And you’re sick of it. Sick of seeing couples kissing and holding hands in the street. Sick of your friends settling down. Sick of everyone buying houses and having families. You’re going to do something about it. You’re going to snap up a man, you’re going to tie someone down, you’re going to finally commit, you’re going to – you’re going to need a bit of advice.

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: fluff; angst; smut

Word count: 54k

Status: Complete''

unexpected lovers- @jjkeverlast ♾️Ω☻

''-> pairing artist!yoongi x female reader

-> genre fake dating!au, romantic comedy

-> summary what happens when you meet min yoongi at the club, or well accidentally use him as your pawn to not get hit on. not knowing your cousins friend overhears and suddenly your whole family knows.

-> word count 19.8k''

Only Yesterday- @borathae ♾️☻Ω ¶

'' “Your life in a small countryside village was nothing of the extraordinary, you owned a quaint little teashop, enjoyed warm evenings in your garden and liked taking walks by the river. One day a handsome stranger moves in the abandoned cottage opposite side of the river and it is not long that he becomes a source of comfort in your life.”

Pairing: Yoongi x f.Reader

Genre: s2l!AU, Neighbours!AU, Teashop!AU, Slice of Life!AU, Romance, Fluff, Smut

Warnings: This is a very feel good story, meant to comfort the soul and warm the heart. However it contains talks about car accidents and memory loss, as well as sexually explicit scenes. If you are sensitive to such topics I advise you read with care. 

Wordcount: 78.620''

Signed in Black- @yoon-kooks♾️☻

''Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Soulmate!AU, BadBoy!AU, FLUFF, Smut [in future chapters]

Summary: Min Yoongi. That was the name magically tattooed to your skin. You were told he was your lover by fate. And as cute as it would be to have a soulmate, Yoongi was the last person you ever wanted to be bound to. But thankfully, there was a way to remove the tattoo. All you had to do was convince six Bulletproof Fairies that the two of you were in love.

Word Count: 3.3k'' (first chapter)

neon signs- @pantoneyoongi ♾️¶

''title ; neon signs [ drabble series ]  pairing ; campus crush!yoongi x campus crush!you 

description ; namjoon doesn’t think it can get any clearer outside of yoongi building a giant neon sign saying i have the absolute biggest crush on you but apparently, book smarts don’t exactly translate when it comes to you and your massive crush on min yoongi.

(alternatively: namjoon and hoseok try for three years straight to get you and yoongi together.)''

Reflection of You- @agustdakasuga ♾️Ω ¶

''Genre: Historical!AU, Timetraveller!AU/ Different Dimension, Romance

Pairing: SUGA x Reader, Yoongi x Reader

Characters: Normal!Reader, Idol!Suga, King!Yoongi, Guard!Seokjin, Guard!Jungkook, RoyalAdvisor!Namjoon, Servant!Jimin, Servant!Hoseok, Prince!Taehyung

Summary: Confirming you were dating the famous Min Suga of BTS, you knew you were bound to make some enemies. But what you didn’t expect was to be cursed, leading you to meet a cold-hearted, arrogant king that shares the same face as your rapper lover. ''

your universe- @muniimyg ♾️☻Ω ☼

''in which min yoongi refuses to lose you

+ 

regretting rejecting oc, min yoongi goes through a circus load of gestures and tasks in attempt to be loved again

pairings:

basketball captain // tsundere yoongi + sunshine // preschool edu major oc

au/genre:

friends to lovers 

uni au

one sided pining / rejection / redemption / a sad excuse of a slow burn

smut, crack, angst

social media au + written

warnings:

implied + actual smut

angst (oc is heartbroken and trying to move on from being initially rejected)

name calling, love/hate friendships, big egos, overprotective friends, childish social culture, and a burnt out era &lt;;3 

parts:

ongoing ( ongoing/25 )''

andante cantabile- @kkulfm-2 ♾️☻¶

''pairing: myg x f!reader

genre: historical / regency au, fluff, smut

wc: 30.6k + 3.8k smutty bonus

summary: You are convinced Mr. Min is nothing but a rude and gloomy man after he leaves a horrible first impression on you. His friends' attempts to convince you otherwise are met with mixed success.''

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oneshots:

Man of The Year- @raplinesmoon ♾️¶

''pairing: single dad!Yoongi x gn!reader genre(s): pure fluff, very minor angst au(s): graduation au word count: 2.7k warnings: some swearing, Yoongi is a little nervous, Yoongi is bad at flirting, this is so cute I could cry

rating: PG

summary: For the longest time, it’s always been Yoongi and his daughter, celebrating every milestone of life together. But today, that could change.''

Shut Eye- @alpacaparkaseok ♾️

''pairing/genre: idol!Yoongi x reader, fluff

premise: In a world where every night you meet your soulmate in your dreams only to forget their face and voice when you wake up, you’re now more desperate than ever to find them.

word count: 2.6k''

gold- @aquagustd Ω♾️☻

''↣ you’re in love with Min Yoongi, yes, you are, but why do you keep thinking of the boy who broke your heart into a million pieces when you should be focusing on the one who’s mending it.

pairing: yoongi x reader (past jungkook x reader)

genre: angst, fluff, smut, bff2l

word count: 17K''

stood up. -@parkdatjimin Ω☻♾️

''Three years after dumping your toxic boyfriend, you decide it's finally time to try the dating scene again. What you don't expect is for a handsome and confident CEO to come to your rescue after being stood up.

"Just play along. My name is Yoongi and whoever stood you up is a douche."

Pairings: CEO!yoongi x fem!reader

Genre: HEAVY angst, smut, lil fluff, slice of life, mutual pining, non-idol!au''

First-Date BAIT!- @jimlingss ♾️

''Words: 11.3k

Genre: Fluff

First dates are embarrassing. First dates are awkward. I’ve been through countless ones, sitting across from people who bored the living daylights out of me. It was less exciting than watching paint dry. Some dates were so utterly rude - I think you and I both know what it’s like to be on the receiving end on that. But now we both don’t have to waste our time anymore!

With First Date Bait they went out for me! Afterwards, they informed me if it was recommended to go out on a second date. It’s amazing with a 99.99% accuracy rate! That’s how I ended up meeting my husband!

First Date Bait. Why waste your time with awkward first dates?''

DreamCatcher- @jimlingss ♾️Ω

''Words: 13k (oops)

Genre: Fluff & Angst

Summary: When your dreams are more or less nightmares, monsters inside your head that eat you alive, it seems like the only person who can help you is Min Yoongi, professional dream chaser.''

Purr-haps I like you- @taleasnewastime ♾️

''Summary: You have a no pets policy where you live, but when you find a tiny kitten in a box on the side of the road, what can you do but bring it home with you? The only problem? The landlord who made the no pets rule, also happens to be your flatmate.

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: pure fluff; Flatmates au

Word count: 11.6k''

Wild Strawberries- @yoonia ♾️☻

''➤ Character / Genre: Min Yoongi x reader/female OC (told through Yoongi’s POV) | Lucid Dream!au, fluff, smut''

first love- @jungnoir Ω♾️

''⇢ summary:  yoongi meets you, seated next to him at a familiar brown piano, and he steals you away hours before your wedding day, seated next to him at a familiar brown piano + yoongi’s been in love with you since childhood and he only has the courage to tell you when you’re about to marry someone else.

⇢ relationship: min yoongi/reader.

⇢ genre: best friend!au, angst, romance. 

⇢ words: 5.6k''

strike a chord- @snackhobi ♾️☻¶

''pairing: yoongi x reader // word count: 15.8k // genre: smut

summary: your idea of a good night certainly doesn't involve being stood up by yet another blind date and finding yourself alone in a fancy bar; fortunately for you, there's an attractive man playing the piano to keep you busy, instead.''

Anyone But The Groom- @yoonjinkooked ♾️Ω☻

''❅ Summary: After a meet-cute that brings all the romcoms to shame, you realize that for once in your life, the stars have finally aligned and presented you a guy that might be able to make you believe in love at first sight. Only to find out that you’re in charge of planning his Christmas Eve Wedding.

❅ Pairing: Yoongi x female reader

❅ AU: Wedding Planner reader x Arranged Marriage groom Yoongi

❅ Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, will-they-won’t-they type of relationship

❅ Word Count: 36.5k (I AM SO SORRY)''

Not Even a Mouse- @softyoongiionly ♾️☻¶

''Summary:  The week before Christmas, you are tasked with delivering some paperwork to your father’s former business partner in order to secure your ownership of their legendary toy store. However, things don’t go as planned and a sudden blizzard keeps you cooped up inside the tiniest town you’ve ever seen, Snow Falls. You keep telling yourself that it’s the weather that’s keeping you here, but after a visit to Min’s Mini Mart, you aren’t so sure anymore…

Pairing: Single Dad! Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Romance, FLUFF, Smut (18+ only please)''

All I Want for Christmas (ft. Yoongi)- @hayjeon ♾️Ω

''→ singledad, CEO!yoongi x secretary!reader→ 13k words''

ceo!yoongi- @jungshookz ♾️☻☼ ¶

''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader 

→ genre: ceo!au, clumsy!y/n because that’s always nice, jimin is ur best friend, floofy fluff, a touch of nsfw aka office sex

→ wordcount: 21k+ so u should probably read this using ur laptop and not ur phone''

first love | myg- @lavienjin ☻Ω

''synopsis: After an incredibly long day, Yoongi found you crying in the copy room. Though he doesn’t talk much, you’ve always found his presence comforting, and it didn’t surprise you when he stayed and listen to you vent. However, while you sought comfort in his embrace, he proposed a special offer to reduce your stress with the magic of his hands. The only catch to your arrangement? You couldn’t fall in love.

But wouldn’t you know it, just as your friendship deepens into something more, you find an old notebook sitting on his bookshelf, and in it, a collection of poems. The last entry has you reeling because it’s addressed to you. And in that page, a single line is written: Without you, I am nothing

pairing: yoongi x reader

wc: 11.3k

genre/rating/au: 18+ | fwb, coworkers, f2l au | smut, angst

warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, semi public sex, multiple smut scenes, multiple orgasms, oral (m. & f. receiving), masturbation, exhibition, lots of feelings. like a lot of feelings :(''

A Boy Like You | Yoongi- @cinnaminsvga ♾️¶

''→ summary: for whenever you are feeling low, always remember that there is a boy you know who would lift the sky for you.

{or alternatively: Min Yoongi loves you, though he never says it. He’s always been a firm believer in that actions speak louder than any words ever could.}

→ genre: coworker!au, f2l, fluff''

when the stars align- @itskimtaehyung ♾️Ω

''Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: FakeDating!AU with a hint of roommates (well actually more like apartment-mates but roommates is catchier), College!AU, fluff, angst

Word count: 10.5k

Content/Warnings: Mentions of heavy drinking, drug usage, strong language, but also cute things like adopting a dog together

Summary: With cuffing season approaching its end, you thought you had escaped the pressures of finding a boyfriend for the holidays. That is, until your friends set you up on a blind date that goes horribly wrong. This prompts you to enlist the help of your roommate, Yoongi, to fake a relationship so your friends will stop meddling in your love life. And it turns out Yoongi is a lot better at this romance thing than you originally thought…''

p.o.v | myg- @jtrbluv ♾️Ω

''summary: you were eight when you first met your soulmate. then you were eighteen when you realized that the boy who just got hired at the local record store next door, is also your soulmate. the issue at hand: you are the only one that knows.

pairing: yoongi x reader (fem)

genre: fluff, angst, soulmate!au, redstringoffate!au, college!au, high school!au

word count: 17.9k''

Yoongi is a Rock- @yoongsisbae ♾️Ω ¶

''rock!Yoongi x reader :D fluff a bit of angst a lot of silliness

Word Count 1.3k''

android!yoongi- @jungshookz♾️Ω☻☼ ¶

''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader

→ genre: android!au becauSe for some reason android aus are popping up everywhere, the usual heaping serving of fluff and comedy, N S F W like reALLY nsfw i poPPED OFF this time i don’t know even know what happened,,, forgive me god for i have sinned, a n g s t, i definitely teared up a little writing this because i was listening to kim bum soo’s i miss you and it made me 100x more emo

→ trigger warnings: this does get a little intense! beware!! 

→ wordcount: 24k like that bruno mars song''

you’re so concerned about the ending that you don’t even know the plot- @joonsgalaxy ♾️☼

''° yoongi x reader x taehyung

° 1.9 k words ° fluff/humour

🌟 you bring your broken laptop to Tae—the IT specialist—who you have a crush on. you drag your bff Yoongi along with you, who—you’re certain—has a crush on Tae too. what a mess, right? well, the thing is, you never even considered the possibility of your assumptions being totally wrong.''

better place- @cupofteaguk ♾️

''summary: you might be in love with childhood best friend Min Yoongi, and he might be in love with you—and everyone seems to know it. except for the two of you.

pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

genre: hogwarts au, friends to lovers au | fluff

warnings: slow burn, alcohol consumption, truly lowkey an idiots to lovers au word count: 14k''

something to hold on to- @fantasybangtan ♾️Ω ¶

''❦ word count. 17.7k ❦ genre. parent fic, fluff, angst, a bit of boob action ❦ warnings. illness, mention of hospitalisation, mention of minor character death, yoongi is kind of a dick sometimes, accidental(?) flashing ❦ summary. it’s not that you don’t like your job. on the contrary, reading bedtime stories to a certified little princess is something you still can’t believe you get paid to do. it’s just that between all the school runs, snow days and secret second hot chocolates before bed, you may fallen a little too hard for those dimpled cheeks and gummy smiles…. worse still, you’ve fallen for her father too.''

the proposal- @dreamescapeswriting ♾️Ω☻

''WORD COUNT: 35K (No its not missing a decimal point)

PAIRING: CEO!Yoongi x Assistant!Reader

GENRE: Smut, enemies to lovers, CEO x Assistant, fake marriage, angst, movie inspired, slow burn''

basketballcaptain!yoongi- @jungshookz ♾️☻☼ ¶

''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader

→ genre: basketball captain x water girl, cheesy cheesy stuff, the FLUFFIEST fluff, jungoo is an idiot, humour, nSFW = smut, cocky yoongi, spoiler alert yoongi does a body shot off of u it just be like that sometimes

→ wordcount: 18.4k this will definitely make the app crash as per usual don’t come for me''

Hug-o-gram- @cinnaminsvga ♾️☼ ¶

''→ summary: 

“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font. 

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious. 

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.}

→ genre: college!au, hugging booth!au,fluff, humor → warnings: yoongi is so smitten that he’s a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where you’ll want to scream, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; → words: 13.3K''

I Wanna Hold Your Hand- @minisugakoobies ♾️

''Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, fluff, Roommates!AU

Rating: T

Warnings: pining, a lil’ smooching, Yoongi is very persuasive, reader is easily duped, it’s as fluffy as freshly fallen snow

Word Count: 1.4K

Disclaimers: None, other than obviously I don’t own BTS - they simply inspire me

Summary: It’s hand-holding season, according to your roommate.''

subtle- @joonary ♾️Ω

''↳ summary: just another memory added to the long list of drunk memories that you’ll forget but wish you’d remember, while yoongi will remember but wish he could forget. 

↳ genre: fluff; light angst; friends (?) to lovers (?); min yoongi x reader

↳ rating: pg-13

↳ warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, and yoongi’s soft spots being exposed to the light of day. yknow, just another joonary fic.

↳ word count: 3.5k''

Hobi's Girl- @jjungkookislife Ω☻

''↬ pairing: f. reader x Hoseok, f. reader x Yoongi

↬ genre: smut [18+], angst

↬ summary: Yoongi had a wonderful night with you… but you’re Hobi’s girl.

↬ wc: 4.8k''

The King Isn’t Dead- @another-army-spot ♾️Ω☻

''Pairing: Yoongi x oc (fem)

Rating:  M

Word: 19.7k~ (my finger slipped?)

Genre:  historical fic, smut, romance, fluff, angst, political upheaval shit

Summary:  After the invasion and the King’s miraculous survival, the nation aims to secure stability and his position of power through the prospect of marriage and continuing the Min line.  As a promise to your brother on the battlefield, the King promises to consider you as his potential wife - to love and to protect.  Or maybe it’ll be the other way around?''

the landlord- @ppersonna ☻

''↳ summary- your air conditioner breaks right at the height of a recordbreaking heat wave.  good thing your hot landlord, yoongi, knows how to attend to any needs you may have.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 4.3k

↳ pairing- yoongi x reader

↳ genre- smut, light crack, PWP''

CYBERSEX- @gimmethatagustd ♾️☻☼

''The whole point of being a phone sex hotline operator is that you’ll never have to meet your clients. So what are you supposed to do when you find out your favorite client is your brother’s best friend? 

» pairing: yoongi x fem!reader 

» wc/date: 14.6k | July 2022

» genre: BTS | 18+ | brother’s best friend | smut | fluff | humor

» warnings: alcohol | blowjob | car sex | creampie | dirty talk | fingering | masturbation | pet names | phone sex | pussy slapping | sex work | unprotected vaginal sex''

Jung Hoseok

hot rod- @kinktae ♾️☻

''a 1950′s inspired fic where greaser Hoseok can’t keep his eyes, or hands, off the new waitress at his and his boys’ favorite diner.

pairing: greaser!hoseok x reader

word count: 10k

genre: 1950s au, smut, fluff''

Kim Namjoon

The Bodyguard- @rmnamjoons ♾️☻Ω

''➳ summary: You’re the daughter of the ambassador to a small, peaceful, barely-on-the-map country in Western Europe, working as a diplomat to help your mother with her endless meetings and politics. After a kidnapping attempt gone wrong, you and your protective bodyguard Namjoon are on the run across Europe, jumping from trains, stealing cars, and pretending to be a couple on your honeymoon to stay hidden. As the would-be kidnappers close in, Namjoon promises you that he’s going to keep you safe, no matter the cost.

➳ pairing: bodyguard!Namjoon x reader

➳ genre: bodyguard au, romance, smut, fake dating/fake marriage, road trip (kinda), very slight angst

➳ word count: 62.9k – this is a complete, VERY long oneshot''

Show Me How- @imaginationofacrazyfangirl ☻ ¶

''Summary:You swiped right on a nerd, instead you got a Greek God. Or tired of your virginity, you decide to throw caution to the wind and find a hook up on tinder.

— PAIRING: Namjoon x f!reader

— GENRE: smut. 18+ minors dni.''

I'll continue in a pt.2

(tumblr doesn't let me write more lmao)

#bts fanfic #bts fic recs #bts friends to lovers #min yoongi fluff #yoongi fic recs #yoongi fanfic #jin fluff #jin fic recs #jin fanfic #namjoon fluff #namjoon fic recs #namjoon fanfic #hoseok fic recs #hoseok fanfic #bts f2l #bts #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #yoongi crack #namjoon x reader #hoseok x reader #jin x reader #bts hyung line

[syrooo]

#jin pounding that kenjussy lol #jjk meme #jjk memes #jujutsu kaisen memes #jujutsu kaisen #SUKUNA #ryomen sukuna #uncle sukuna #mommy kenjaku #kenjaku #jin itadori #yuji itadori #nephew yuji #choso #choso kamo #jjk crack #jjk choso #jjk

[themissinghand]

ghhhhh i have a massive Beru brainrot,,,,z he won't get out of my headdd... can I request a cute little crack fic about a gn/male reader who returns from a fancy gathering or party they're drunk? they get overly excited to see Beru, and uh- basically this happens

The lip gloss scent wouldn't come off, and Beru smells like cherries for a few days. Jinwoo witnessed this happen to Beru lmao

also the relationship between Beru n the reader is platonic, they just like Beru..., little meow meow..

take care!

Solo Leveling: Little Meow Meow ^-^

Summary: In which loving Beru is like loving a cat. 

Or Beru is too cute not to love.

Pairing: Platonic! Beru and M! reader.

Note: Thanks for being patient! 

Warning: None. Just fluffy goodness. 

★・・・・・・★

Beru watched as you stumbled into the apartment. 

In fact, he had watched the young man go into a bar filled with laughter, music, and clinking glasses.

Now, Beru almost popped out from the shadows had you not held onto the wall with all your might. 

His Liege had asked him to watch over his little friend, to make sure that you were not harmed or taken advantage of. Beru also knows that His Liege cares about you very much, considering how much you had supported his family through tough times as a B-class hunter. 

“B-Beru? Is that you?” You hiccuped, before you rubbed your eyes. Beru jumped at the sudden call of his name, and didn’t know how you manage to spot him without revealing himself.

“Beru~ I know you’re there~” You take a step, but tumble over. Luckily, Beru was there to catch you. 

"Beru! My favourite lil man~" you exclaimed, your words slightly slurred. "You won't believe the party I just came from! It was incredible!"

Beru tilted his head, a silent acknowledgment of your presence, instead, leading you to the sofa. The drunk man, however, paid no mind to Beru's stoic demeanor. Instead, you gave the shadow knight a wide grin.

"You know, Beru, you're like my own little meow meow," you giggled, reaching out to rub the creature's head. Beru shivered, a foreign feeling bloomed from within.

Suddenly, you cupped Beru's face and brought it closer to your own. 

"You're so cute, Beru, You’re like a little kitty!" you cooed, and without another warning, your lips pressing against the creature's forehead.

Beru immediately jumped back, surprised by his own avoidance and embarrassment. Is this what humans do when they get drunk?!

Luckily HIs Liege can’t get drunk, because humans are like a different person when they are drunk! 

If Beru wasn’t here, what if you did this to someone else! That would be embarrassing! 

“Beru~” While Beru’s head was filled with question marks and danger signals as more scenarios pop up, you however, weren't satisfied with just one kiss. 

You dive towards him and continued to shower Beru with affectionate pecks, your enthusiasm fueled by the alcohol coursing through your veins.

Also, were you wearing lip gloss?? Why does it smell like cherries?!

Beru, being smothered with kisses, he quickly held you up and away from him. He didn't know what to do.

My Liege! 

Jinwoo, having sensed the commotion, entered the room just in time to witness the peculiar scene. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of Beru, who was covered in red lip stains, and looking at him confused and pleading for help.

"What's going on here?" Jinwoo asked, trying to stifle a laugh.

You turned to Jinwoo, your cheeks flushed from both embarrassment and alcohol.

"Oh, Jinwoo! Beru just deserves all the love, you know?"

Jinwoo couldn’t help but chuckle, making Beru even more flustered. Luckily, Jinwoo easily peeled you off of the poor shadow soldier, letting the poor Beru breathe again. 

You grinned, giving Beru one last affectionate pat before settling onto the couch. 

"Best party ever, Jinwoo. Best party ever." You mumbled before going into a slump, clearly won’t remember anything when you wake up. 

And so, in the quiet apartment, the shadow knight sat awkwardly, adorned with the scent of cherries, as you drifted into a tipsy slumber, thinking of their own little meow meow.

Jinwoo didn’t forget to tease Beru everyday, nor did anyone in the shadow army. 

#manhwa #solo leveling spoilers #solo leveling fic #solo leveling headcanons #solo leveling #shadow soldiers #sung jin woo x reader #beru #sung jin woo #male reader #x male reader #x male y/n #solo leveling crack #platonic

[lilapplesheadcannons]

There is a convoluted tangle of "jealous of other people's younger sibling".

Wei Wuxian: Lan Zhan is so adorable! I wish I had a cute didi like him!

Jiang Cheng: Hey!

Lan Xichen: Oh, Wangji is perfect, but I wish we were a bit closer to each other like the Yunmeng brothers.

Nie MingJue: Look at Meng Yao, just look at him! He can draw up an emergency patrol roster in his sleep!

Jiang Yanli: I love them, I do. But I wish they were a bit less... them and a bit more sensitive and tactful like that HuaiSang.

Wen Qing: The day Wen Ning can stand up for himself, like young master Jiang, is the day I can die peacefully.

Jin ZiXuan:(looking at Meng Yao and Mo XuanYu) They are perfect!

#mdzs #mdzs crack #mdzs headcanons #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #lan xichen #nie mingjue #jiang yanli #nie huaisang #wen ning #wen qing #jin zixuan #meng yao #mo xuanyu

[whyse7vn]

FWB -

[ot7 x reader]

NAMJOON -

namjoon: u like sunflowers?

y/n: you need to stop giving me flowers after we fuck

namjoon: why?

y/n: people don’t do that?

namjoon: i do?

y/n: and i have way too many flowers in my house rn

we like fuck a lot….

namjoon: but i like getting you flowers

y/n: i know

namjoon: do you not like flowers?

y/n: i do

namjoon: so i should get these sunflowers rn is what ur telling me

y/n: you do not need to get me anything

we fuck cuz i think ur hot and ur convenient

NOT because you get me flowers

namjoon: oh

y/n: oh?

namjoon: ok

y/n: don’t tell me i hurt your feelings

namjoon: you didn’t hurt my feelings

y/n: are you lying to me?

namjoon: a little bit

y/n: namjoon….

namjoon: i’m sorry….

y/n: this is not very no strings attached of you

namjoon: baby :(

y/n: YOU made that rule might i add

namjoon: i take it back

y/n: you can’t take it back

namjoon: i just did

y/n: ur just horny

namjoon: am not

i just like you

a lot actually

i like you a lot

can’t help but buy you flowers

y/n: joon

namjoon: yes baby

y/n: /&/&&&;&;&;

you make me sick

i REFUSE to blush and giggle rn

you do this all the time

u nasty little freak

act like you’re deeply in love with me or something

and then just ghost me for 100 years

and come back when u wanna fuck again

namjoon: not true at all

i ignored you for 2 days

ONE time

y/n: so you ignored me on purpose???

namjoon: you know i would never

was super busy i promise baby :(

y/n: i can feel ur horniness through the screen

namjoon: can you feel all the love i have for you as well??

y/n: see you ARE horny

namjoon: out of love and appreciation

y/n: whatever

namjoon: i’m standing in the middle of this florist looking like and idiot

come on baby

sunflowers yes or no?

y/n: no namjoon

and anways jin is at mine rn

so ur gonna have to wait until he leaves

and that’s IF he leaves

namjoon: that’s ok jin’s a very busy man these days ofc he’ll leave

i can wait

y/n: jin is not a busy man at all

you and i both know that 💀

he’s literally been crying in gc about how bored he’s been at home

namjoon: he has?

y/n: yeah literally yesterday

and the day before that

namjoon: maybe i didn’t see that

y/n: you need to read the gc more silly!

namjoon: ur right baby i do

y/n: ofc i’m right

namjoon: of course :)

y/n: …..

are u fr……

this is not fair

why is he leaving?????????????

namjoon

…

this was supposed be our catch up time☹️

what did you say to him????

and WHY is he listening to you

namjoon: didn’t say anything

told you he’s a busy man baby

y/n: shut the fuck up

namjoon: not nice :(

y/n: idc actually!

namjoon: you do

y/n: bring me tulips you slut

JIMIN -

jimin: you need to buy more bread

y/n: ???

jimin: you have no bread

buy some more

y/n: are you in my house rn????

jimin: come home the kids miss you

y/n: motherfucker

jimin: i’m more of a you fucker!

y/n: shut up

jimin: shut me up

y/n: leave my house

jimin: are you on ur way home?

y/n: how did you even get in??

that is highkey very scary jimin!

jimin: do you not want me or something

y/n: hey i never said that did i?

jimin: well ur acting like you don’t want me :/

guess i’ll just leave then

sighs looks out window….

y/n: aw what a shame guess i’ll have to eat this bread i just picked up by myself….

jimin: hey i like bread….

y/n: no way me too…

jimin: you can make toast with bread…

y/n: that’s true and i make really good toast….

jimin: you do….

y/n: so like do you want to have toast with me….

jimin: wow look at you practically on ur knees BEGGING for me 🙄

y/n: whatever

you’ll be the one on ur knees soon anyways

jimin: is that a threat???

y/n: it’s a promise mr park!

jimin: just say you want my hand in marriage at this point

y/n: lol!!!!!!

jimin: i know you do

deep down

y/n: keep telling urself that!

jimin: she wants you jimin 😍

y/n: fucking freak

jimin: she REALLY wants you

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: you told yoongi we were dating?

taehyung: can’t hear you rn babe

i’m literally drilling holes in the wall

it’s real noisy

y/n: we fuck each other that is it tae i told you this….

taehyung: 🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀 you want me 🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀you need me 🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀 🌀🌀you are my girlfriend 🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀

y/n: stop it

taehyung: you are in love with me

y/n: i am not

taehyung: sorry can’t hear you i’m drilling baby

i told you this already

y/n: drilling does effect your reading ability

taehyung: oh my god the wall dust has gotten into my eyes i can’t see omg someone help me ohhhshuszu

y/n: ur not funny

taehyung: can i come over later 🥺

y/n: can you stop telling people we are an actual couple

taehyung: i love you

y/n: i’m going to drop you

taehyung: in bed?

y/n: should of rejected ur stupid offer when you asked

fwb my ass

taehyung: we have that type of love that it gets just gets so overwhelming in the best way

don’t you agree?

y/n: shut the fuck up

taehyung: you know i like it when you take control

y/n: i’m gonna stop speaking to you taehyung

taehyung: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭baby plz😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i can’t even breathe without you 🥺

y/n: i mean it tae

taehyung: ok but let me sing for u rq

y/n: no

taehyung: you should let me love youuu

let me be the one tooooo

give you everything you want and neeeeddd

y/n: shut the fuck up

taehyung: i forgot the lyrics hold on

y/n: i am not holding on

taehyung: wait that’s so jack and rose core

i’ll never let go jack 🥺

and then she lets go of him

or does he let go??

idk i forgot

y/n: wish you were jack

taehyung: you into white men???

i’ll be a white man for you

y/n: absolutely not

taehyung: i’ll make you mayo sandwich

think that’s a white person delicacy

y/n: ur getting blocked now

taehyung: ok but we still fucking later???????

y/n: …..

taehyung: ???

y/n: ur so fucking annoying

taehyung: >3<

y/n: 5

don’t be late

taehyung: 🫡

JUNGKOOK -

jungkook: the weather is so nice rn

y/n: do you want to fuck?

jungkook: please 😭

y/n: just say that next time idiot

jungkook: i’m sorry

just wanted to be a gentleman

don’t want to act like just using you for sex or something

y/n: you literally are???

jungkook: not true!!!!!!

y/n: 🤨

jungkook: i’m very upset that you think that

ur worth more to me than just sex ☹️

y/n: since when??

jungkook: since our first date i think

y/n: our first date????

you mean the time you took me to buy a plan b??

jungkook: no the time we had ice cream…

y/n: AFTER you took me to buy a plan b

jungkook: ☹️

y/n: don’t frown at me kookie

jungkook: don’t u like me?

y/n: ofc i like you

i’m fucking you am i not?

jungkook: yeah but

y/n: but?

jungkook: ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

y/n: don’t you understand the concept of friends with benefits?

jungkook: i do ☹️

y/n: so why are you frowning at me?

jungkook: i just thought the benefits would be you falling deeply in love with me and holding my hand sometimes idk….

y/n: kook

jungkook: i’m sorry

y/n: 😐

jungkook: but like…

have you???

fallen in love with me i mean

i mean it’s cool if you haven’t

well not cool

but like cool for you

not really cool for me

but i’ll like cope lol

y/n: sighs

jungkook: changing the subject sorry i’ll cry

but anyways i know i said i wanted to be a gentleman and not act like i just use you for sex or whatever

but i do really need you rn lol

i can come over now right?

cuz i’m on my way lol no joke

i hope that’s ok with you

cuz it’s ok with me

ofc it’s ok with me why did i say that

sorry

but if it’s not ok with you that’s fine

well not fine for me lol

cuz i’m like painfully hard rn

that’s kinda gross

sorry i don’t know why i said that

but it’s ok i can always like

um

fuck some else

?

if ur busy or just not in the mood

i get it

don’t worry

y/n: omg you fuck other people?

wow i’m impressed!!!

you go superstar jk!

jungkook: I DON’T I DON’T OH MY GOD I DO NOT

idk why i said that lol

sorry for shouting

um yeah

i don’t

y/n: oh

jungkook: do you??

not that it matters or anything just wondering

y/n: well

jungkook: actually i don’t want to know lol

sorry for cutting you off btw

i didn’t mean it

well i did but like not in a i don’t care what you have to say type of way but in a if you say what i think ur gonna say i’ll throw up and cry and jump off a building

lol

that was a joke lol

LMAOOOO

ha

i won’t do those things actually haha 😭

i am a tough guy

i can handle if you were seeing other people

i can still come over btw right???

y/n: you talk a lot of shit

jungkook: sorry

i’m sorry

i get that

y/n: i like you jungkook

jungkook: yOU DO???

*you do?

sorry caps

oh wow

thanks ha

lol

i like you too

a lot

y/n: i want you

jungkook: OH

ok OK YEAH

that’s cool lol

in what context tho haha

like you want me as in you want me to be ur bf?

you want me to fuck?

you want me to die????

you want me

and this means it’s ok to come over right?

y/n

hello??

you have an incoming call from kook ♡

YOONGI -

yoongi: you free? :3

y/n: i am

yoongi: :3

y/n: idk what that means

yoongi: yes you do

y/n: i don’t

yoongi: stop lying

y/n: never lied in my life

yoongi: ur lying rn

y/n: don’t think so

yoongi: shut up

y/n: that’s mean

yoongi: i’m coming over

y/n: for?

yoongi: y/n

y/n: yoongi

yoongi: stop it

y/n: stop what

yoongi: i’m not saying it

y/n: saying what

yoongi: …

y/n: what u coming over for yoongi :3

yoongi: no

y/n: no?

yoongi: changed my mind

not coming over

y/n: ok

yoongi: ok?

y/n: ok yoongi

yoongi: so u fucking other people now

y/n: woah?????

where did that come from

yoongi: ur fine with me not coming over..

you must be fucking someone else

y/n: jealous much

yoongi: SO YOU ARE?????????????

y/n: don’t shout at me

yoongi: i didn’t shout

y/n: you definitely did!

yoongi: i don’t even care fuck who you want

y/n: ok

yoongi: ok??????????

y/n: yoongi

yoongi: no

y/n: are you mad at me rn?

yoongi: no lol

y/n: wtf did i do to you what the hell

yoongi: who is it

y/n: ????

yoongi: give me a letter

y/n: a letter?

n??

yoongi: NAMJOON???????

yeah just go ahead and block me now

fucking namjoon

ur telling me namjoon better than me

LMAOOOO

y/n: tf are you talking about

yoongi: you and namjoon

y/n: me and namjoon??

yoongi: oh

so ur not..

y/n: i’m not following

yoongi: me or namjoon?

y/n: what

yoongi: you following me or namjoon

y/n: on insta??

twitter???

tf are you taking about

work with me here yoongi

yoongi: i’m drunk

y/n: that makes sense

yoongi: i lied

y/n: i don’t believe you

yoongi: i’m outside

y/n: my house???????

yoongi: no the fucking world trade centre

y/n: the what

yoongi: open ur fucking door

i need to kiss you

SEOKJIN -

jin: IF YOU TOUCH JUNGKOOK ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA THROW UP EVERYWHERE AND RUIN THIS PARTY FOR EVERYONE

y/n: i think he’s so cute tho :c

jin: CUTE?????

he thinks 4x4 is 7 and i heard he never showers

but you see me i know that 4x4 is 24 and i shower regularly

y/n: 4x4 is 16 you idiot

jin: go away

y/n: you look like a loser in the corner by yourself

where ur hoes at seokjin?

jin: my one and only hoe throwing herself all over one of my best friends rn

y/n: no way?

jin: yes way :/

y/n: does she look good doing it tho?

jin: so good actually

i might faint

y/n: why don’t you go talk to her

jin: like i said she’s trying to fuck my best friend rn

y/n: ur no fun

jin: ur a cheater

y/n: i’m single actually

cheating is not a possible thing for me to do rn

jin: ur supposed to be my fwb not jungkooks

y/n: we are not exclusive jin u know this

and anyways sharing is caring!

jin: convinced you’ve lost your mind

y/n: ur wasting my time rn

kookies getting upset i’m not paying attention to him

jin: kookie????

don’t play i’ll throw up rn

watch me

sticking my fingers down my throat as we speak

y/n: no ur not

i can see you yk?

jin: so NOW you’re paying attention to me

y/n: i always have been

how else would i know you’ve been standing in that corner for and hour like the little creep you are

jin: ok it hasn’t been an hour

y/n: ur right

+30 minutes

jin: yeah whatever

you wanna leave rn??

y/n: only if i can bring kookie with

jin: no

y/n: but look at him

jin: he’s pretty ugly

y/n: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

jin: i am not sharing you with anybody

y/n: that’s not ur decision actually

jin: it should be 😒

y/n: you asking me out rn mr kim 🤨?

jin: no

well

unless…..

y/n: me you kookie

one night i promise

jin: 😐

y/n: listen

jin: listening

y/n: one way or another i’m fucking jungkook tn

ur lucky i’m inviting you

jin: SIGHSSS

you ARE a cheater

i’ll let you fuck jk if you go on a date with me

y/n: can you not read??

was gonna fuck him anyways

jin: ok but I’LL join if you go on a date with me

y/n: you were joining regardless

jin: not true!

y/n: very true!

jin: ….

if you knew that why were you begging me?

y/n: had to make you feel special somehow

jin: you say that like i’m not?

y/n: you are

jin: i know

y/n: i’m glad

jin: ur so hot

y/n: thank u kookie just told me that 💓

jin: he doesn’t say it like i say it tho

y/n: you sure?

jin: very

y/n: interesting

jin: are you guys coming to the car or what?

y/n: so eager

jin: you blame me?

got to show jk how a real man fucks

then i got to take my girl on the best date of her life

y/n: your girl?

jin: problem?

y/n: *friend

jin: no!

y/n: ???

you can’t just say no

jin: watch me do it again

no!

y/n: i am NOT ur girl

jin: u right

wife 🥰

y/n: no!

jin: don’t use my shit on me

y/n: watch me do it again

no!

jin: ok whatever

ur opinion on the matter isn’t valid anyways

y/n: ???i think it is

jin: no!

y/n: kill yourself

jin: not really into the whole suicide thing

can you come kill me??

i would prefer you take me out via strangulation

y/n: you me sick

jin: come to the car now i’m boredddd

y/n: i don’t see you moving to the car

jin: i’ll move when you move

y/n: whatever

jin: so excited wifey😋🥰

HOSEOK -

hobi: hey (my dick game insane)

y/n: sometimes i think if i knock on your head i would hear an infinite echo

hobi: hey (my dick game insane)

y/n: or maybe ur skull would just completely collapse idk

hobi: hey (my dick game insane)

y/n: yeah you said that

i bought you a tshirt by the way

was feeling generous

feel blessed bitch

hobi: hey (my dick game insane)

y/n: ok

can you like shut the fuck up

hobi: hey (my dick game insane)

y/n: hey (ok)

hobi: so… (it’s HUGEEEE btw)

y/n: so… (ok)

hobi: hey (no joke basically a third leg)

y/n: ok stop

hobi: no (can we fuck)

y/n: out shopping with family rn ur gonna have to wait

hobi: i can’t (they can join lol)

y/n: ur gross

hobi: ur kinda a shit friends with benefits (want u so bad dick might drop off)

like where are the benefits at rn?? (pls come take care of me)

y/n: i have a life hobi

cant fuck you all the time you know

hobi: boo (please)

y/n: do you not have anyone else that can help u rn?

hobi: are you stupid????? (i think ur stupid)

y/n: don’t call me stupid :(

hobi: sorry pretty (suck my dick pls pls pls pls)

y/n: i am out hoseok

hobi: don’t same my name like that (i’ll cum)

y/n: i did not say ur name like anything

i typed it

hobi: but in that moment and time i imagined the way you say my name (it’s hot)

y/n: stop imagining things then u whore

hobi: i’ll shoot myself (COME OVER)

y/n: stop typing like that

hobi: come over then i’ll stop (rizz)

y/n: shut up

hobi: ..- .-. / ... --- / .--. .-. . - - -.-- / .. / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / . .- - / -.-- --- ..- / --- ..- - / .-. -. / .-.. --- .-.. (morse code rizz)

y/n: why tf do you know morse code

hobi: you never know when you need it i be in a lot of different situations pretty girl (strong brave educated man rizz)

y/n: whatever u freak

hobi: 01110000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101001 00100000 01100101 01111000 01110000 01101100 01101111 01100100 01100101 00100000 01101001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 (binary rizz)

y/n: what the actual fuck

hobi: i’m horny (i’m horny)

y/n: couldn’t tell actually

hobi: lol me gustas mucho no es broma sé mi novia (ultimate spanish rizz)

y/n: girlfriend???

hobi: YOU SPEAK SPANISH?//£:£:&,£:

y/n: you like me??????????????

hobi: BYE LMAO

—

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @jmnscutie

surprise guys ;p

#bts crack #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts fluff #bts text #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts x y/n #bts x you #namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #hoseok x reader #hobi x reader #jhope x reader #jimin x reader #rm x reader #taehyung x reader #v x reader #jungkook x reader #bts texts #bts incorrect texts