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rommahh · 3 years

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I Carry Your Heart

Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4k

{Ahhhh ok so this is my first work like ever. There will definitely be a second part because ive got more to say and it needs a second part. I hope whoever sees and reads this imagine enjoys it. I appreciate comments, likes, reblogs, ideas on what could go into the story, and any form of help and redirection as to how i should write things. Much love, R.}.

Part two

All Y/N wanted tonight was to hang out with her boyfriend, eat a mass amount of junk food, and watch a marvel movie or two. That was all she wanted and that was all she asked of her boyfriend. Instead of any of that happening, she found herself sitting on the nasty kitchen island of her boyfriend's frat at a party that she was trying to avoid going to.

This party was supposedly ‘the party of the year.’ The last rager before finals and then christmas break. Y/N had spent the whole week studying and finishing up end of semester projects hence the want for a chill night. When Harry came to her saying his frat was throwing a party tonight and that he just HAD to be here, Y/N didn't feel like she had a choice but to let him go. She came because she thought this would be the only time she would be able to have some time with Harry after a long week of barely seeing each other. With two vastly different majors, the couple wasnt able to find a lot of time in the middle of school work to make time for just the two of them. Obviously her hopes of quality time with her man were futile because here she was sitting by herself in the kitchen of the frat while Harry drank and got high with his friends in other parts of the house.

Of course she was disappointed. She felt a knot in her throat and a weight on her chest just sitting there in that kitchen. Her white claw was warm now- not that it was any cold when she opened it. She was starting to form a small headache from the too loud music and the ache in her heart was growing.

She stood from the countertop on the search for her boyfriend, hoping he wasn't too far gone from sober. Wiping the back of her jeans from anything that was left on the island, she began walking around the house. She doesn't remember the last time the two of them spent time together by themselves. Of course they occasionally ate dinner together in the dining hall but they were normally surrounded by friends. Y/N wanted to be alone with her boyfriend to talk and bask in his presence.

After pushing through groups of partying humans, she found Harry and at least ten other people sitting around playing some sort of drinking game.

“Y/N! Where have you been?” Luca, one of Harry's frat brothers yelled out to her from the circle. Luca was cool, he was one of the only tolerable boys in this frat aside from Harry. Hearing his girlfriend's name, Harry turned around from where he sat on the ground and reached out for his girlfriend to sit beside him. Much to Y/N’s dismay, Harry was wasted. His eyes were half mass and his words bumped and slurred together. “We are playing truth or dare, wanna play?” Luca asked.

“I don't wanna play but Ill sit and watch.” Sitting next to her boyfriend, she grabbed one of his hands holding it in her lap. She was annoyed at him but it did her no good to show it when he was this drunk.

This game of truth or dare was childish. Dares of licking people's shoes and taking multiple shots had been done and truths about money and relationships were being spilled among the group. It had finally become Harry’s turn to do something, making Y/N tense.

“Ok Harry, I dare you to…” One drunk frat boy started looking around the room trying to come up with something clever. His eyes landed on a pretty girl in the room, Yara, a stuck up girl who for sure got her way no matter what. “I dare you to kiss the hottest girl in the room- obviously not your girlfriend because that defeats the purpose.” The frat boy smirked knowing what his intentions were. Everyone in the group giggles and gasped shocked by the dare but ready to see what was going to go down. Y/N’s brows furrowed as she became angry with the stupid dare.

The ache in her chest seemed to tip over the edge when she felt her boyfriend in the room move to stand up. She grabbed at the bottom of his shirt as a way of stopping him. Harry halted his movements to look down at his girlfriend. He giggled a little.

“You’re not actually going to do this right?” She asked Harry with wide eyes of shock. Harry laughed at her like she made a joke, making her heart hurt even more.”Harry I do not want you to do this just take the shot and lose the dare.” Her tone held warning.

“Don't be silly of course I'm going to. It's just a dare, nothing serious. Don't be so clingy.” He stood walking over to Yara and planted a wet kiss on her mouth. Yara gripped Harry’s shirt and kissed him harder. The kiss went on for a few more seconds, the room absolutely silent out of shock. Harry stepped back from Yara slightly sobering up from his actions. Yara smirked at Y/N, hand gliding down the front of Harry's shirt.

Y/N stood from the seat she was in and scoffed. Scoffed because she should've known Harry would do something like this. Scoffed because it hurt to see her boyfriend do something so careless without any regard for his girl's feelings. She pulled herself together, feeling her throat tighten once again. She was quick to leave the room and down the hall of the frat.

Harry's clumsy steps could be heard from behind her as he mumbled her name. Or at least he tried to. He was still so out of it, his words not making much sense. Y/N was crying now, the strength that she had slowly dissolving as she walked further away from her boyfriend.

“Y/N wait. P-please wait. I cant-” Harry stumbled over his legs behind her falling into the grass of the front yard. The girl couldn't help but turn around looking at her stupid boyfriend. She was choking on sobs now. She wasn't crying over a measly little kiss but over an extreme amount of burnout from school and exhaustion from simply existing. She was crying because her boyfriend ignored her boundaries, crushing and erasing the boundaries she had set in their relationship. Harry tried reaching for her once she had stopped walking. His hand clasped around her wrist, he laid his head down on her shoulder. He hated seeing her cry even if he was too drunk to see why.

“Baby don't leave, Im-Im Sorry.” He hiccuped and burped due to the alcohol. Y/N felt her rage build. Shoving Harry off of her, she crossed her arms across her chest as a way to shield herself from Harry physically. He was hurt by her distance and the wall she put up around her.

“You're an idiot Harry. An idiot!” her sobs grew louder, some stray party goers watching in amusement- some even snapchatting it for shits and giggles. “I didnt want you to kiss her and you did. What provoked you to think that was ok? All I wanted was for us to hang out tonight and just be us and you did this!” She was yelling now. Her hurt is beyond her now. Anger and rage simmered throughout her body making her head dizzy and her fingers curl within themselves. She didnt like being angry. It wasn't an emotion she liked acting on, it felt impersonal.

“Baby I don't under-” Before Harry could finish his sentence he was barfing at his feet. Y/N stepped back disgusted with her boyfriend. She couldn't even feel remorseful because of how angry she was. Luca, the frat brother from earlier, caught up with Harry and his girl only to find Harry doubled over heaving. Luca wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders.

“I'm sorry Luca but I can't do this tonight. Can you please make sure he gets some water and goes to bed. I-I can't do it tonight, I wish I could but I can't.” Y/N didn't want to leave her boyfriend in this state but she didn't deserve this. She wasn't going to care for her drunk boyfriend when all she wanted to do was care for herself. Selfishly, she enjoyed seeing him this way because of the anger he caused her.

Luca shook his head in understandment. “Of course, I'm really sorry for tonight. He's going to seriously regret this in the morning, especially since it will be circulating all over snapchat in the morning.” Luca waved to Y/N then proceeded to pull Harry into the house. Harry called out for Y/N not wanting to be away from her but Luca pulled him harder.

Harry woke up the next morning feeling like the bottom of a dumpster. He wasn't shocked by that. He knew he got trashed last night, he had planned to. He, just like Y/N, spent all week studying and completing projects while also fulfilling certain responsibilities for his frat. He wanted one night to be a normal teen. So he drank and drank and drank and maybe even smoked some weed. As he tried to recall last night's events he came up with nothing. He didn't understand why Y/N wasn't here with him like she normally would after a party on the weekend. They were normally always together during the weekend. A bad feeling loomed over him. He could tell something wasn't right but decided to put his feelings to the side.

He saw a bottle of water beside his bed making him think she was probably here and left early. Chugging the water he started to go through his socials to see if anyone had posted about the party. He had multiple tagged pics and videos in his notifications from snapchat. Way more than he normally would.

The first video he saw was a video of him and Y/N standing in the front yard of the frat house. Turning the volume all the way up he could hear Y/N yelling, it shocked him. She doesn't normally raise her voice, especially not at him. The angle changed showing her face which was red with anger, eyes filled with unshed tears. He could hear her yelling about him kissing someone else. He felt his heart stop. He had kissed someone else? On the next snap was a picture of him keeled over vomiting on his shoes with the caption saying, ‘are yall seeing this shit?’ Harry was embarrassed but he was more concerned than anything.

His head was hurting but it didn't stop him from rolling out of bed, washing up, and putting on a fresh set of clothes. He checked his phone hoping Y/N had messaged him but nothing was there. He walked into the kitchen only to see luca sitting at the counter eating cereal.

“Hey Harry….” Luca said warily. Luca pushed the cereal around his bowl feeling the tension begin to rise in the room. He felt horrible about his friends.

“Luca...what's up?” Harry was confused by Lucas' wariness.

“So do you remember anything about last night?” Luca asked, setting his cereal down in the sink behind him. Harry started playing with the frayed edges of a bracelet Y/N made for him. It had little beads with her name on it. They made them together at an event on campus.

“I don't, I only saw the videos of Y/N screaming at me. I think I fucked up but I- I don't know what happened.” Harry's cheek flushed with even more embarrassment. Luca awkwardly chuckled scratching the back of his neck.

“You got dared to kiss the hottest girl in the room and um actually did it in front of Y/N...even though she didn't want you to. Which led you guys outside and yeah you know the rest...Im sorry dude, I wish I had stopped you.”

“Who- who did I kiss?” Harrys stomach lurched when he heard Yara’s name come out of Lucas' name. Y/N didn't like Yara and it was understandable. Yara has been pining after Harry since their first year of college. Harry couldn't breathe. He felt disgusted with himself. He could only imagine how Y/N was feeling.

Y/N woke up the same morning, eyes puffy and crusty from tears and head hurting. She probably cried herself into dehydration. She was lucky enough to have no roommate because she wouldn't have wanted someone else to see her breakdown. She still couldn't believe last night went down the way it went down. She couldn't tell if she was just being overdramatic or if her emotions were in the right place. She didn't want to be mad at Harry. He was everything to her, she had an odd connection to him. Meeting him during their freshman welcome week they quickly became best friends with a growing romantic connection in the mix. They started dating before Christmas break. They had grown close so fast that he even came home with her to meet her family for the first few days of break. Even though they were in their junior year of college, Y/N could see them beyond college. She's imagined them getting married, travelling, sharing a home. She saw the whole future with him. She had her doubts though. He was immature just like every other boy in college. He was dumb with his actions and tended to only do things if they benefited him. He had a lot of growing to do as a person, so did she but she wanted to grow with him.

She heard a knock on her door hesitating to answer it because one, it could be Harry, and two, she looked like a wreck. Answering anyways, she was met with a very sorry looking Harry holding a small coffee and bagel from their cafe.

“Hi baby…” He sheepishly said holding out the items. She silently let him through the door not once looking him in the eye. He stepped into her room, setting her treats on her desk. He could see that her bed was messy meaning she recently woke up. Y/N never went about her day without making her bed. He turned back to her and finally their eyes met. He took in all of her facial features, from her puffy eyes, to her downturned lips that looked chapped, to her flushed cheeks that longed to be held for warmth. He hated to see her like this, the last time he saw her so upset was when her parents moved out of her childhood home. It took alot to make Y/N this upset. She was normally really headstrong and vigilant. She knew how to ease her way out of problematic situations and could talk her way through anything.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Y/N holding her hand up in front of his face. “Don't talk. I'm really hurt Harry, so if your plan was to come over here and apologize over bagels- think again.” She snapped, backing up to put space between the two of them. She sat down on her bed while Harry pulled the desk chair out and sat down. He much preferred to be on the bed with her holding her tight but he didn't want to overstep boundaries.

“Love, I don't know where to begin. I'm really sorry for what happened last night. I was really drunk and obviously wasn't in the right headspace.” Harry reached out and touched the tips of her fingers with his. She wanted to move but it felt good to be touched by Harry.

“I told you that a measly little apology won't do Harry. I didn't want you to kiss Yara and you did anyway. You know how Yara feels about you and you just let it happen!” She pulled her hand away remembering the prior night's events. Harry felt himself getting angry too. He felt like he needed to defend himself- even though it would be a very bad idea.

“I think you're being over dramatic.” Wrong move Harry. “It wasn't like I was making out with her!”

“You're joking right?” She scoffed and scooted further up her bed to create more distance. “Harry it's the simple fact that you did something that made me uncomfortable that shouldn't have even happened. I see myself getting married to you and it makes me worry that right now in our relationship you can't respect my boundaries!” She yelled. Harry’s eyes widened as he laughed sarcastically.

“Married? What the fuck are you on about? I'm a junior in college. In what world would it make sense for me to be prepping a relationship for marriage? Once again I think you're being over dramatic.” Her eyes watered hearing Harry's statement.

“I- I guess I'm the only one in this relationship thinking about the future? I thought we were on the same page. I'm not planning our marriage now, obviously. I'm thinking about how elements of our relationship now could play out in the future when we do want to get married. You cheated on me last night. I went to a party you begged ME to go to only to be there for you. I wanted to be here cuddling with you, pigging out on fast food but I was at a party with you and got cheated on!” Her volume rises once again, making Harry shove his chair from underneath him when he stands up.

“You're doing too much right now. I'm not planning a future right now because I don't want this future! I want to be myself without thinking about how to appease my girlfriend. I invited you to the party so you could lighten the fuck up. I love you, I do, but I'm not thinking of marriage and futures. I'm thinking about my life right now and having fun.” Harry snapped right back at her. Her chin wobbled. Obviously her and Harry were on different pages. It hurt so much to hear him say that he didn't want a future with her. Harry didn't mean it though.

“Ok, well I guess that's my fault for assuming we were thinking along the same lines. Um, I don't want to hold you back from being yourself so with that being said, you are a free man Harry.” She pushed herself up from her bed walking to the door ready to escort Harry out.

“Huh? Love, what?” Harry was confused on how they got to this point. Just a few days ago they were in love, meeting in the library to share a lunch and exchanging sweet words determined by their love.

“Listen I have a day full of exams tomorrow so if you could just leave that would be best. You don't really want this so I'm letting you go, Harry.” She had tears rolling down her face, falling from her eyes down to her chin where they fell to the ground in droplets. Harry’s eyes welled up watching his love cry before him.

“I don't-”

“Harry, leave, please.” She opened the door making room for him to go through. He walked through the door turning to look at her. She turned her face away from him whispering a small goodbye before shutting the door. Harry was left in the silent hallway, so silent he could hear his thoughts and the tears hitting the tile floor beneath him. He thinks he stood there for at least thirty more minutes before accepting what had happened and walking away.

Leaving Y/N in her room sobbing like she had never done before. Her tears coated her face and she thought her head could explode right then and there. She didn't want to accept what had happened but she had priorities. She composed herself enough to start studying for her exams.

The week rolled by quickly, Monday meeting Friday in a flash. Exams were done and Christmas break was on the horizon. Students were piling off of campus in a hurry ready to get home to their loved ones. People were outside by cars loading up their winter necessaries and saying their goodbyes to their close friends.

Harry cried everyday this week. He wasn't normally a crier. He hated crying, he hated the feeling of crying and the headache that came from it. He cried because he realized how wrong he was. He missed Y/N. He missed finals week dinner together where they tried to get off campus at least once and be alone for a moment. He missed watching her relax while eating food that wasn't from their school's cafeteria. He would pay for their meal just so she could have one less thing to worry about. They would normally get frozen yogurt right after too, Y/N getting as many toppings as she wanted because Harry would be the one paying. He missed her tight after exam hugs. She would squeeze his shoulders tight, smiling into his neck, telling him how proud she was of him. She would bring him tea in the morning when they met for breakfast. Sometimes they would spend the night in one or the others room so they could have time together to destress and just talk.

Y/N wasn't doing any better. She normally went into exam week feeling confident. She studied too hard not to. But this week she felt like shit. Her heart hurt and she kept thinking about the fight. She feels like she overreacted but hearing Harry talk about their lack of a future hurt nonetheless. She really assumed that they did have a future that included marriage and a life together. She didn't understand where his sudden lack of commitment came from. She regretted dumping him but at the same time she wished he did more to get them back together but he was silent. He hasn't contacted her at all and avoided all of their spots on campus all together.

She stood by her car prepping for her six hours car ride back home. Packing away her clothes and some essentials in the trunk of her car, she heard light footsteps behind her. Closing her trunk she turned to see Harry standing with his hands in his pockets.

“Hi.” He said. She looked at him, putting her own hands in her pockets. It was cold outside, the nippy air hinting at a possibility of snow.

“Hi Harry.” They shared a moment of silence together. Just staring at each other. It felt good to be near each other again. They felt like they could breathe again.

“I had to see you before you left. I know the break is only a month but I didn't want to leave without seeing you.” He replied quietly. She made him feel so shy. Her beauty always made him awestruck. Even in a hoodie with their college's logo and some large sweatpants and some fuzzy crocs, she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

“I don't know what to say harry.”

“It's ok. I don't deserve anything from you after what I said. I just wanted to apologize and wish you a good break before you left. I also wanted to give you this.” He pulled a small box and envelope out of the front pocket of his backpack. “I know we agreed on no presents but I think thats a dumb rule and I love you too much to not get you something.” She smiled at his words, taking the gift from his hands.

“Thank you Harry, it means a lot to me. So what are your plans for a break?” She asked him, the tension that was in the air slowly dissipating.

“I couldn't get a flight home until next wednesday so i'll stay here on campus until then.” He shrugged.

“Oh ok. Well tell Anne I said hi. I have to go Harry but I'll see you after the break, ok?” She didn't want to leave him but she didn't want to drive through the dark.

“Ok, love. Drive safe. I lov- I mean have a good break.” Her chest tightened at his hesitation. She wants to hear him say the words but she knows he won't.

“Have a good break Harry.” She whispered. Before getting in her car she stood on her toes placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Rubbing her thumb across his cheek and turning away and into her car.

She drove away knowing that her heart was left in that parking lot in the hands of someone she loves way too much.

Harry stood in the parking lot watching his heart drive away for winter wanting nothing more than to be with her.

Part two

#harry styles x reader #frat!harry #i carry your heart #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles x y/n #college!harry #part 2 coming soon #harry styles smut #fratrry #boyfriend!harry

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nyctophilin · 4 years

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Fake Affection | III

Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV, Epilogue

Description: Han Jisung has been rejected by the girl he likes one to many times. He decides that he has had enough and is set on making her want him back. What could possibly make her want him more than seeing him with her rival after she boldly assumed he can’t find anyone better. That way Jisung and Y/N are stuck in a fake relationship until Jisung’s crush falls for him. Or he falls for someone else.

Pairing: Han x fem!Reader, Hyunjin x fem!Reader

Word count: 5.1k

Genre: College!AU, Fake dating!AU, Angst, Fluff, eventual Smut

Warnings: swearing, mild groping, mild violence

Pearl note -> This got long. Yeah, things got interesting in this part. :)) Also, I realized I forgot to add something so I had to come back last minute and edit it. Yeah, sorry for the delay. :/ I hope y’all enjoy it! Feedback is very much appreciated.

The sun was shining brightly despite it being almost 6 PM. The temperature outside reached unusually high numbers for that time of the year, and Y/N decided to take advantage of that. Dressed in a forest green spring dress that reached her mid-thighs and offered a modest view of her cleavage, she was waiting for Jisung in front of her apartment complex. The dress she was wearing had short sleeves, but she decided not to take any jackets with her thanks to the weather forecast that predicted the temperatures to be high until later in the night.

She was clutching the strap of her purse tightly and impatiently checking the time on her phone every few minutes. It has been such a long time since she went on a date. Just because she was going there to make Mina jealous didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun. What better way to convince the other girl that she missed on a lot of fun than have fun?

Coming from the left side, she heard the sound of an engine approaching. Soon, a black Range Rover came to a gradual stop right in front of her, the front wheel almost climbing the sidewalk. From inside the car, Jisung gestured her to get in. She opened the door and climbed in, placing her purse over her knees before fastening her seatbelt.

Without much of a word, Jisung turned the steering wheel and started driving to a destination unknown to Y/N.

“I didn’t know you had a car.” She spoke, trying to get rid of the awkward atmosphere.

Jisung threw her a look before concentrating on the road again.

“It’s Chan’s. He let me borrow it for today.” A long sigh left his mouth. “After a long talk where he told me that if I hurt his baby, I’m dead.”

Y/N let out a chuckle, and Jisung smiled as well, as the memory of the silly conversation he had with the older man flooded his mind. Another minute passed, and the silence in the car was being filled by the pop music coming from the radio.

“You look pretty!” Jisung complimented, stealing another glance at her.

A bright smile invaded her facial features at his words.

“Thank you! I didn’t know where we were going, but I figured a dress would be appropriate for many activities.” She chirped, the tiniest bit of excitement rolling off her tongue.

“What if we are going hiking?” Jisung said, and a smirk appeared on his face when he noticed her rolling her eyes from the corner of his eye.

“Then you can turn the car. I’m not coming!” Y/N crossed her hands under her chest and her mouth formed into a small pout.

“I’m joking. We are going to an outdoor cinema.”

She gave him a side look and raised an eyebrow.

“No offence, but how do you know when outdoor cinemas are happening? They don’t seem…” She eyes him up and down on the driver’s seat. “...your style.”

Jisung resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her comment. After a moment of silence, he sighed silently accepting her words.

“Mina told me about it three weeks ago. She said it was a rom-com she really wanted to see. We planned to go together.” He explained taking a right turn.

“Then how do you know if she’s going to come if you planned to go together. I don’t know if you realised, but you are supposed to be dating me, and she’s dating no one. Girls don’t usually go to this kind of thing without a boyfriend or a potential one.”

“There’s this guy from Theatre and Film that she used to hook up with when I wasn’t around. I know from someone that they are coming together.”

Y/N let a pitiful smile involuntarily invade her features. It was kind of pathetic how he knew about her whereabouts and still didn’t say anything. She understood that they weren’t together, but they were heavily flirting and behaving like a couple, hence why she and a lot of other people thought they were actually in a relationship.

She let her teeth sink in the flesh of her bottom lip holding back from telling him a piece of her mind. He was old enough. He knew what he was doing. Or at least she hoped he did.

The rest of the way to the outdoor cinema was spent in silence. The only audible sounds being the radio and Jisung’s soft humming from time to time. When they reached, their destination Y/N got out of the car and let Jisung find a parking spot somewhere further away from the location of the cinema due to the parking there overflowing with vehicles.

Checking her phone, she noticed the time indicating 7:17 PM, and only then she realised how much time they spent in the car. Walking lazily on the pathway to where space was designated for blankets and chairs she saw a sea of people. Maybe not really a sea but there were enough people to fill two of the auditorium in their university.

For a second she thought she'd lay out the blanket, but then she remembered the only thing she had on her was her purse. On top of that, they needed to ‘accidentally’ bump into Mina and her date and hope they end up sitting next to each other.

Just as she was thinking about that a squeal deafened her and a pair of delicate arms wrapped around her. When the girl let go of her, and she met Mina’s face, she grimaced, but she regained her composure fast. She smiled at her and her date, a guy she had seen occasionally in some of her classes.

“What a coincidence you are here!” Mina’s fake excitement was pissing her off. Coincidence her ass. Y/N was sure she knew they were going to be there.

“Yeah, what a small world.” She gave the two a visibly fake smile and prayed for Jisung to hurry.

“Are you alone?” The girl asked, moving her head in different directions as if she was looking for the person she came with.

“No. I actually came with Jisung.” As if on cue Jisung appeared from behind the two, a blanket in hand.

“Are you looking for me, princess?” A jolt of surprise went through her at the new nickname he used, but she didn’t let it show.

Observing the angry expression on Mina’s face at his words, she figured that was how he used to call her before they broke up whatever they had going on. She surpassed a smirk from painting her lips.

“Mhhm.” She extended her hand, which he gladly held and went in for a short kiss. “Look who I found. Isn’t it lovely seeing your friends here?” She sarcastically said, smiling up at him.

“You guys should come sit with us!” Mina’s date said, and a victorious smile spread across her face.

“We’ll love to if that is okay with Mina, of course. We wouldn’t wanna disrupt you!” Y/N faked concern and gave Mina doe eyes.

Mina’s jaw slightly clenched before immediately relaxing and letting out a forced giggle.

“Of course you can. Why wouldn’t I be okay with that?”

After that, the four of them went and found a place at the back of the crowd where they could sit. It wasn’t exactly the back of the crowd since there were some more people behind them, but they were reasonably behind.

Jisung spread the blanket on the fluffy grass, and Mina’s date, whose name she found out was Jay, did the same as Jisung. Their blankets were almost touching, the distance between them millimetric.

There were still 20 minutes before the movie was supposed to start. They sat down on the blankets, and Y/N stretched her legs, finally relaxing for not having to stand on the platform shoes she was wearing.

“So, are you guys dating or…” Jay asked, fixing his body position so he could see them better.

Y/N rolled her eyes at his question. The guy wasn’t the best at reading the room.

“Of course we are. Why would we be here together if we weren’t?” Annoyance was dripping off her tongue. She only wanted to relax for a bit before having to spend two hours watching some boring rom-com.

“Oh…” His voice sounded almost disappointed as his gaze lingered a second too long on her exposed legs. “Mina and I are not a couple. And since she and Jisung have had a thing before, I thought...” He bit his bottom lip while looking at her thighs that were pretty much bare thanks to her dress riding up when she sat down. “Never mind!”

Y/N shifted uncomfortably and placed her hands on her thighs in an attempt to cover them even a little. Mina wasn’t aware of her date’s actions as her eyes were concentrated on Jisung and on the way he looked under the golden rays of the sun that was preparing to set.

Jisung, however, was burning holes with his eyes into the other man’s head. Upon seeing him biting his lip while looking at Y/N in a less than appropriate way, he felt an unexplainable feeling of rage penetrate his body. What he wanted to do at that moment was to get up and punch that pig into next week for daring to look at her like that. But he kept his composure and decided not to make a big deal out of it.

There was literally no reason for him to get that angry. Besides the apparent reason that it made her uncomfortable and he shouldn’t allow something like that, especially when he is playing her boyfriend. But the sudden feeling to rip his head off filled him with turmoil.

Jisung decided to ignore it for now, and he took his jacket off and placed it over her legs. Her head shot in his direction, confusion and at the same time relief present in her eyes.

“What is that?” She asked, trying to act unaffected by Jay’s actions.

“I just thought you might sit more comfortably with this over your legs. It stops unwanted attention.” He subtly glared at Jay, but he didn’t seem to pay him any mind as his eyes were now fixed on Mina’s chest.

“Thank you!” She said, bringing the jacket further up to cover her thighs better.

Jisung inched just a little bit closer to her and cupped her face. Placing his lips on hers, he forcefully pushed his tongue in her mouth, taking her by surprise. He made sure their heads were positioned in such a way that the two on the blanket next to them will be able to see the exchange of their mouths.

Mina was watching Jisung drag his tongue inside Y/N’s mouth, his eyes closed in satisfaction. The exchange wasn’t rushed, and the way his thumb would caress her cheek so gently had her bursting with jealousy. Jisung had never kissed her like that. Their kisses were always rushed and sloppy, driven by sexual needs.

When she first heard about their little relationship, she laughed. She thought it was some kind of stupid joke. But then she saw how they behaved. The kisses, the hugs, the hand holding, how he would always have a hand around her shoulders. In the three days, they dated he showed Y/N more love than he showed her in a year and a half.

Her initial plan was to tease him a little bit, then finally accept to be his girlfriend. She didn’t think he'd go and find himself a girlfriend. And especially not her. From all the people he could choose it had to be her. Looking at them now, Mina regretted her decision.

Jisung broke the kiss and looked into her fluttering eyes before placing a peck on her nose. Y/N was sitting there dizzy from everything that happened. His sudden boldness left her speechless and burning hot from the embarrassment of being seen doing something like that.

She wanted to question him. Ask him why he suddenly did something like that. However, a loud sound erupted from the speakers surrounding them, signaling the start of the movie. So she focused her vision on the big cloth in front of her and decided to ignore it.

She shivered discreetly as a wave of cold hit her body. The movie was only half done, and with the midnight approaching slowly, a chilly air adorned their surroundings. The weather forecast predicted high temperatures, but at that moment she was far away from her city, and so the weather was different.

Y/N rubbed one of her arms with her hand, regretting not taking a jacket with her just in case something like that was to happen. From the corner of his eye, Jisung noticed her actions, and he leaned in close to her to whisper in her ear.

“Hey, are you ok?” His hot breath on her ear made the hair at the back of her neck stand up.

“Yeah, I’m just a little bit cold. I’ll be fine!” She whispered back giving him reassuring eyes.

Jisung thought for a second of what he could do. He didn’t have another jacket, and he didn’t want her to uncover her legs. At least not when Jay was around. An idea finally struck him, and he softly called her name, catching her attention again.

When she turned to look at him, he tapped the space between his spread legs. Y/N raised an eyebrow at his gesture.

“What does that mean?” She sounded a little bit annoyed.

“Come sit here. I’ll cuddle you so you won’t be cold anymore.” Y/N threw him a weirded out look. “We are ‘dating’. No one will find it weird. Or you could just stay there and freeze to death.” The man explained his voice a little bit louder than before.

She pondered his offer for a bit before getting up and making her way between his legs. She let herself fall backwards until her back hit his chest softly. Jisung put his arms around her, and warmth started enveloping her almost instantly. Y/N let out a purr at the newfound comfort, and her eyes shot open at the realisation of what she just did.

“Hey, don’t get too comfortable, you hear me? I’m doing this just because Mina might be watching.” She warned, her voice stern hoping he missed her last action.

Jisung rolled his eyes but decided not to bring up the sound she just let out. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the newfound proximity. Only so they can make Mina jealous. Right?

They sat like that, none of them daring to move. For some reason, Jisung found the position really comfortable. A few days prior at the start of their relationship he found skinship really awkward but now it wasn’t like that anymore. It felt almost natural. Like they have been doing it for a long time.

Some more time passed, but Jisung wasn’t sure how much. The movie was approaching its climax, and the man felt bored out of his mind. Was it really worth going through that only to get his dick wet? But then he remembered who he was doing it for. He was doing it so he and Mina, the girl who he has been in love with for the longest time, could finally be together. And when it happens, he will be able to slide his hand through her silky hair, and feel her smooth skin and kiss her soft lips without having to call it a friendly gesture.

His trail of thoughts was interrupted by a quiet mumbling coming from Y/N. Her voice was so small that Jisung couldn’t hear her.

“What?” He leaned his head down in order to hear her when she talks.

For a minute, there was silence. Thinking that she didn’t hear him, Jisung wanted to repeat the question when a puff of air left her mouth. Right after, she turned slightly to the side, pushing her head more against his chest, and that is when he realised that she fell asleep.

An involuntary smile tugged at his lips, and his heart started beating faster. He couldn’t explain why he was so happy about it. It was going to be a pain in the ass. Having to wake her up and wait for her to recover from her dazed form. They were going to be the last ones to leave after the movie was over.

A whistle-like noise left Y/N’s nose when she expired the cold air of the night, and his smile turned into a grin. Jisung moved a few strands of hair from her face before wrapping his hands better around her to keep her warm. He placed a kiss on top of her head and rested his chin on her head, swaying slightly while continuing to watch the movie.

If you were to ask Mina what has happened so far in the movie, she couldn’t give you an answer. As much as she wanted to see the film, the girl’s eyes seemed to be more interested in whatever was happening on the blanket on her left.

She watched as they were cuddling and whispering to each other things she couldn’t hear. Then Y/N fell asleep, and Jisung seemed to be even more loving, hugging her even tighter and kissing her. She was wondering if he has ever done that to her on the many nights they shared a bed.

Mina never thought she would be that affected by the fact that Jisung has found himself a girlfriend. After all, he was just one of the many boys she was hooking up with. She never thought she would have feelings for him, but here she was, being jealous of the last person she ever thought she would.

She had to somehow get the boy back. She wanted to see it as a challenge, but she couldn’t. It had barely been two weeks since they ‘broke up’ and scarcely four days since he started dating that perfect little missy. Love doesn’t fade away that fast. She’ll have him back in no time.

Y/N felt someone shaking her arm gently, and she mumbled some incoherent words, pushing the hand away. She was sleeping so well, she didn’t want to wake up. A hand pushed a hair strand that was ticking her nose out of the way before grabbing her shoulder and shaking it again. She groaned in annoyance.

“Wake up, Y/N! You have to go home. Unless you want me to take you to my place.” Someone whispered close to her face, and her eyes fluttered open, trying to make up her surroundings.

The first thing she saw when she finally managed to blink the sleep away was Jisung’s smirking face. God, he was so annoying. Ignoring him and looking around, she noticed she was in his parked car in front of her apartment complex. She vaguely remembered falling asleep, but she doesn’t remember waking up to get to the car.

“How did I get here? Did you wake me up?” Y/N asked, straightening her body and inhaling the cold air of the night.

Jisung held her hand and helped her out of the car before slamming the door closed. He let her lean against the front door and opened the back door to fish her purse from the back seat.

“I didn’t. You were way too cute when you shut up. Like a little obedient kitty. I had to enjoy the moment a little bit longer.” He teased, putting a hand around her waist and making their way to the entrance in the complex.

Y/N scoffed at his childish remark but decided to ignore it. She didn’t have the necessary energy to argue with him.

“So you carried me to the car? What about the blanket and the other stuff you had there? Did you go back for them?”

“No, I had Jay get them for me, so I don’t wake you up.”

Stopping in front of the elevator, Jisung pushed the button, and they waited a few seconds for the doors to open. Stepping inside, Y/N pushed the button for the third floor before leaning back against Jisung.

“Talking about Jay. Thank you for today!” The man threw her a questioning look, acting as nonchalant as he could.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t act dumb! I know you didn’t give me your jacket just because you are nice like that. You saw how he looked at me.” She wanted to sound more aggressive, but her voice came out soft and calm since she was still sleepy.

Jisung found that adorable but surpassed a smile. Adopting a disinterested expression, he spoke.

“He did? I didn’t notice. I just thought that, as your boyfriend, I shouldn’t let everyone see your underwear.” Y/N punched him in the stomach lightly, and Jisung dramatically bent down, letting out a fake grunt.

“You are such an asshole!”

A loud ding echoed in the restricted space, and the doors opened, revealing the dirty wall of the third floor. They stepped out of the elevator and slowly walked down the hallway to where Y/N’s apartment door was. Taking her purse from Jisung’s hand and finding her keys, she unlocked the door and opened it.

She leaned against the door frame and looked up at Jisung, giving him a bright smile.

“I'd like to say that I had fun, but I fell asleep halfway through the date.” She giggled, trying to mask her embarrassment. “But it was nice getting out of the house. Thank you for today!”

The man put his hands in his jean’s pockets and scoffed.

“You are lucky Mina got upset by you sleeping on me. Otherwise, I would have gotten angry. My shoulders are so stiff from having to support your weight. I might not recover for a few days.” A fake pained groan left his throat, and Y/N rolled her eyes.

Lifting herself on her tiptoes, she placed one hand on his shoulder and brought his head lower. She connected her lips with his in a short kiss. Breaking the kiss, she stepped inside her apartment and kept the door open enough for her head to be visible.

“See you on Monday!” With that, she closed the door all the way and made her way into her bedroom.

She wasn’t sure what was the time, but it must have been well past 11 PM. Taking off the dress, she discarded it on the floor before grabbing the oversized t-shirt from the back of the desk chair. She put it on and threw herself on the bed, letting the sheets envelop her body before falling asleep.

Y/N’s eyes shot open, and her mouth fell open as the realisation of what she did only moments prior sank in. Putting the back of her hand over her forehead and exhaling deeply, her eyes closed and her brows furrowed. Why did she kiss him? She’ll never interact with anyone while she’s still drunk on sleep.

Meanwhile, Jisung that just exited the complex couldn’t contain his smile. He couldn’t understand why that was happening. They kissed before to make Mina jealous. But maybe that was precisely the reasons such an insignificant gesture brought him so much joy. Mina was nowhere near. A spark erupted in his stomach at the thought that the girl might have a crush on him.

“Do it again! With more love this time. Come on. You want me! You desire me!” Y/N ordered to Jeongin.

The man let out a frustrated groan, using the script to cover his eyes from the brightness of the sun.

Both of them, Hyunjin and Jisung, were outside, in front of the university. They had a free period and decided to practice the script for the short movie they were playing in. Hyunjin, although not part of the film itself, was always with them thanks to Mrs. Bae’s affinity towards him.

Jisung, however, was new in the picture. Ever since they went on that date a week and a half ago, he seemed to be spending more time with her. She felt mildly suffocated by that but decided not to question it. As long as he wasn’t distracting her from her usual activities, she didn’t mind him tagging along.

“You don’t make desiring you really easy. We’ve done it four times already. We will start filming in three months. I don't have to be perfect right now!” Jeongin exclaimed letting his body fall on the bench on which Jisung and Hyunjin were seated.

“Hey! Be careful of what you say. My girlfriend is very, much desirable!” Jisung said in a jokingly offended tone earning disgusted groans from the other two men.

“Really dude? I could have lived my life without knowing that information.” Jeongin started fanning himself with the script. It was a sweltering day.

“I don’t understand why you are here. You are only four-wheeling us.” Hyunjin remarked, earning himself a dirty look from Jisung.

“A car needs all four wheels to be functional.”

“Yeah, babe, but we are a tricycle.”

Hyunjin, Jeongin and Y/N erupted into laughter at Jisung’s dumbfounded expression. From behind Y/N, they heard even louder laughter and Hyunjin scoffed at the scene unfolding under his eyes.

“I swear to God! Mina has been so annoying lately. Much more than when she used to hang out with Jisung. It’s as if she’s following us around.” The man rolled his eyes as he remembered how many times Mina ‘coincidentally’ happened to be in the same place as them the past week.

“Tell me about it. And how she is always with Jay from our major. If I wanted to watch live porn, I would have signed up on one of those porn sites.” Jeongin seemed as annoyed as the other man.

“Don’t stress about that guys. I’m pretty sure these are just coincidences.” Y/N tried telling them, even though she knew everything they said was right.

“No, I’m pretty sure they are not. There’s someone between us whose attention she’s trying to catch.” Hyunjin gave Jisung a side look.

“You can’t be sure of that.” She played dumb, wanting more than anything to change the subject.

“ Oh, please! She’s always watching him. In the cafeteria, when we are hanging around on our free periods, when she’s kissing that loser. It’s like he’s a good movie she can’t tear her eyes from.” Jeongin snapped, tired of the whole situation.

“Then let’s give them something to look at!” Jisung smirked smugly.

“What do..”

In the next second, Y/N has been pulled on Jisungs lap, and he captured her lips in an urgent kiss. One hand was on the nape of her head forcefully holding her in the kiss, and the other one was on her ass cheek, squeezing it.

She heard someone awkwardly clearing their throat from her right, and all her senses heightened. Y/N placed her hands on Jisung’s shoulders and tried lightly pushing him away while uncomfortably shifting in his lap. As a response, the man groaned lowly and slid his hand from her neck to her chest, cupping it.

Her eyes widened in shock at his action and mustering all the force she had in her, she pushed him away, finally breaking the kiss. A loud bang ringed around them as her hand made contact with his cheek. Jumping off his lap, she gathered her bag from the leg of the bench.

“You are a fucking asshole!” She shouted in his face before storming off inside the university.

The stomping of her boots was echoing in the empty halls, and the few students that were around decided to make her space to pass. Her thinking was clogged at the moment, and all she could feel was rage and shame. She was angrily making her way down the halls, but her destination was uncertain. She just wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

Y/N heard quick steps from behind her, and a hand pulled at her shoulder. Without turning around, she shrugged it off and started walking faster. The person behind her also increased their walking speed, but this time around, they grabbed her wrist.

Just as she was preparing to scream in their face, she was pulled into a hug, her face forced into a firm chest. Y/N felt herself calm down as the smell of a cologne she grew accustomed to in the last week invaded her lungs. His hand was gently rubbing her back, and she relaxed under her touch.

“Are you okay?” Hyunjin whispered softly in her ear.

She hid her face more in his chest, feeling shame overcome her.

“I’m sorry you had to see that. I swear it’s not what you think! We’ve never…” Her voice was shaky, as if she was about to cry. Hyunjin cupped her face forcing her to look in his eyes. She could see concern and sadness hiding behind his brown orbs.

“Why are you apologising to me? You are the one who’s been wronged here. I just wanna make sure you are okay.” His soft voice was acting as a calmative for her racing heartbeat.

Y/N felt her insides flip at his caring words. His hands on her cheeks were hot, and she decided to blame them for the blush that acaparated her face.

“Hey! Step away from my girlfriend, you motherfucker!” Jisung’s voice filled her ears, and she saw Hyunjin roll his eyes.

The warmth of his body left her, and he crossed his arms as Jisung finally arrived in front of them. Hyunjin was looking down at the other man, and both their expressions were filled with anger.

“I was just making sure she’s fine. It looks like you took your time deciding to do the same.” The taller man spat venom dripping off his tongue.

“It’s none of your business how I handle my relationship!” Jisung adopted a louder tone bringing his face closer to Hyunjin’s.

“But it is when you decide to act like a bitch in heat and make your girlfriend uncomfortable. This is why Mina never dated you and why you and Y/N won’t last long!”

Jisung clenched his jaw upon hearing the other man’s words, and before anyone could register what was happening, he plunged his fist into Hyunjin’s face.

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kachinnate · 3 years

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,,,,okay i know i just said i wasn’t going to talk about the deh movie but actually yeah imma talk about it for just a sec bc y’all actually make me legitimately distressed sajkfndsmjkgds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQ_A0H1otc i dont have the braincells to do a shot by shot analysis right now but here’s what we’re lookin at

under a readmore because ghhhhhhh

firstly, let me lead with this: yes, from what we know, there’s a lot of things wrong with this movie.

the worst, in my humble opinion, being the bts treatment of the (very few) actors of color, and the lack altogether of any production team members of color. that’s something that should be acknowledged, talked about, and fucking dug into especially at the current fucking period of time we’re living in. it’s unsurprising, but disgusting nonetheless, and it set this movie up for failure from the very beginning. i’m a white person so by no means so i feel inclined or like i have any authority in saying what one should feel wrt all of that, however i will say if there’s to be a boycott in not watching this movie, that should 100% be the reason why. it’s fully poc’s choice whether or not to forgive the production team or give this movie a chance for the irredeemable shit it did in regards to handling the movie’s production. the movie imo definitely doesn’t deserve their forgiveness, but again, that is not for me to say.

there’s some little things too that i can’t fully think of off the top of my head - like, the whole making larry connor’s stepdad thing fucking irks me, for example, but, like...... listen.

if you know me like at all, you know my favorite word is nuance.

so, i’m going to say it outright: the way you people are approaching this three minute trailer shows literally.... none?? no nuance ??? is it no-nuance november over here or ???? like i’m begging you i’m BEGGING YOU to put aside your pre-determined prejudices against this movie and like stop pretending to be a renowned film critic for ten seconds because it’s really not as outright fucking abysmal as you are saying!! and also it’s possible to have opinions that aren’t completely fucking polarized to one side because guess what, the deh movie? a piece of media! what is the shit y’all are constantly preaching about having the ability to consume media critically ? because you’re trying to cancel a fucking trailer based on the contents of the trailer alone !!!!! hello !!!!!!!!

media is bound to be problematic. if y’all were as quick to judge any movie as you did this one, guess what you wouldn’t be watching any movies like ever <3

anyway lets get into the parts that are probably going to get me cancelled lmao

ben platt - listen. LISTEN. listen i know he’s too old to be reprising evan we ALL know he’s too old to be reprising evan i’ve heard this same argument since the announcement was made we get it we all know. haha he’s a grandpa yes bestie ur so right ur so funny wow. i do agree that we should’ve maybe had a not-ben-platt evan moment but here’s some things to keep in mind: the arguments of “oooh ABF is right there !!!!!!” 1. who’s to say he was available? 2. the environment of a movie is so, SO much different than that of a musical -- as much as you wanna pretend you know everything from just a trailer, there’s no way of knowing what scenes were added that might’ve made the movie like.. idk possibly more intense story-wise not even COUNTING the fact that just inherently a movie set is different than a musical one? like yes ben platt might be just being used as a device but that’s probably not the sole and only reason. Also, if i see One (1) more comment about his FUCKING HAIR 😃 first of all it’s not that deep like... if you’re so distracted by an actor having their hair different that’s on you, but going as far as to call it bad or distracting or being like Vehemently a way about it? y’all i know it’s most likely not your intention but that is literally just ben platt’s natural fuckin ETHNICALLY JEWISH hair sajknfgkjds!!!! i’m not the first to make this point, but like dsjnfkjdsg!??! y’all are being so mean about it and for WHAT? again, maybe not intentional, but it reads as like high key Very antisemetic and you should.... maybe not 😳 be that way

connor. the thing about a trailer is that they don’t show you all the scenes because they want you to come see the movie. right? can we agree on that? all the connor scenes in the trailer had SEVERAL hard cuts, omitting a lot of the scene -- like the computer lab scene! we see the beginning of it, there’s a VERY obvious hard cut, and then he’s running out! in my opinion my first watch through of this trailer i had a very like “:// hmm all these actors feel a lil like dry”, but man oh man the comments ive seen about connor. holy shit guys. this boy gets 7 minutes of stage time in the actual musical, and the whole thing is we DON’T KNOW VERY MUCH ABOUT HIM. not to burst your bubble, and i by no means hate connor, i love me some good connor lives fics and stuff, but everything we write with connor being alive? that is !! speculation on our part !!!! those are headcanons and us using the little context we have!! connor doesn’t have any significant development IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL that is being adapted into a movie !!! you 1. can’t fully judge a character with already limited screentime in a 3 minute trailer, 2. can’t really call what connor has canonically in the musical as in depth character development !! what is his arc then !!!! he pushes evan, goes to the computer lab, has an outcast loner kid moment, gets upset, takes the letter, DIES. sorry stans, that’s just how it is !! and, AND, everything in between, all the idiosyncracies, that depends on the actor playing connor! speaking of, you know who the actor is playing connor in the movie? that’s right, colton ryan! so, i don’t know, maybe... have some trust in the process, in an actor who ALREADY has played connor on broadway???? and also trust that you will get more connor content then u are seeing from a 3 minute trailer!! dhgnijsdg and some of the comments on like his appearance specifically? like are you really made that he doesn’t have long hair?? they kept his nails and his rings but nahhh the hair was apparently a MUST HAVE (even though like.. not all connor actors on broadway always had/have long hair but w/e).. REGARDLESS. tldr on THAT , the movie would have to do a pretty shitty job if they want to take something from someone who doesn’t have much to begin with and i think y’all are being extremely harsh on this point

jared. honestly i’m a bit worried too about the like... name change, because it does have the potential to be taking out some representation, but... they did change the name to fit the actor’s ethnicity? it’s a really [hmm] topic because, again, from a trailer and from what we have been told we don’t KNOW a lot of the context, but i think it’s important to remember that uh.. jewish people aren’t just? always white ?? there’s a possibility they changed the last name to fit with the [ethnicity] while keeping him jewish?? ofc there’s the possibility that they Didn’t and ... again hm that’s its own thing altogether but just reiterates the point that you can’t knock a whole movie just based on the trailer. you can’t talk about things you know nothing about.

alana. same thing as before, you can’t.... completely bash a character based on a 3 minute trailer. there was discussion about how she seemed ‘shy’ when talking to evan, which like.. maybe she is but also that scene was them talking in a library like if u actually take notice of what’s happening in the scene jdskngsd though i do share the general consensus with many others that she won’t get a lot of screen-time but that’s neither here nor there 😔 moving on

scenes and the setting. one of the things i was most like.. tentative about in regards to a switch from a musical to a movie was how they were like... going to do certain scenes? naturally, a lot has to be different when we’re going from a minimal stage set to an entire movie with like.. settings. there are going to be new scenes because a movie lends to have like, physical places that aren’t just [evan’s bedroom] and [murphy kitchen] and [implied school]. so new scenes, new conversations, slightly different pacing.. this is all to be expected right like are y’all geneuinely surprised here or ........

there’s a lot we aren’t seeing yet because this is a TRAILER. again i already mentioned this re: connor but like... again, y’all are making some Claims that just... fucking outlandish. there are so many moments in the trailer that are very obvious Hard Cuts. you don’t have all the information yet. you are angry at a tiny fragment of something that is confusing you because you don’t have all the context. is there a chance that some of this shit is just genuinely Bad? yeah but you really cannot 100000% say it with your chest and gauge it without seeing the movie and understanding what that scene is in context. lowkey uhhh saw some jokes about the zoe scene in the car and :’))) ? jesus? christ????

concluding thoughts because my brain hurts but like. you don’t have to like the movie. you don’t have to WATCH the movie. like all media if you choose to consume the movie you should do so with some CRITICAL THOUGHT. but, just like the novel (and i do not want to have any discussions about that i don’t care if you think it’s good Or bad that’s not what this is about) you guys are going in this WANTING to believe it’s bad and completely polarizing your thoughts on what this is going to be. yeah, maybe there shouldn’t be a movie. i genuinely think we could’ve gone without. but it’s just a piece of media, it’s not a progression like all your (musical is good, novel is bad, MOVIE IS WORSE OH NO) posts are suggesting. they are all just. different pieces of media stemming from a source. at the end of the day it’s just a fucking movie. if you already hate it so much, guess what? you don’t have to watch it! you don’t have to put so much needless fucking hate into a 3 MINUTE TRAILER. you can stop being performative and dissing it for its poor treatment of POC while then going on to make fun of ben platt’s hair and just targeting a different group like! please !!!

i’m not trying to be a fuckin’ advocate for this movie because there’s so much opportunity for it to suck, i do Not have high hopes for it, and i’m not even really sure i want to watch it (i bought the novel when it came out and have yet to read it, and i’m sure the movie will like.. elicit very similar vibes from me lsdngjkdsg like im just not uhhh feeling it) but y’know what? watching the trailer did not bring forth the fucking onslaught of hatred in me that apparently has fuckin posessed all of y’all and like djnsgjksdg plagued my dashboard for this whole evening. don’t come into my inbox trying to like.. argue with me about this (preemptively im turning off anon because i like i Can’t lmao) this is just like... a rant i needed to get out of me real quick.

SO. tldr for now: have critical thought about shit you consume, there’s no ethical consumption under [the film industry], you can’t judge a movie entirely on its trailer, and y’all need to calm the fuck down

#garbage.txt #deh movie #ask to tag #irrelevant #bc this is lowkey a vent bc jfc #this isn't @ anyone btw this is just [in general mostly just from my dash] bc.. sighs #anyway im gonna refrain from making any more comment on this its just. frustrating.#edit: ok to rb

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nobody-knose--archive · 3 years

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i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

#lemon demon #spirit phone #pretty sure this is my first bit of spirit phone content on my blog. hi greater lem dem fandom nice to see y'all. go listen to deporitaz #loolin liveblogs #i enjoyed this less for the content the commentary contained & more for the way i handled it. more pleasant than some times ive had #tis i #i havent listened to spirit phone in general in ages. i know why. so this was nice #to the world and back again

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uncertaininnit · 4 years

Text

who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck.

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED.

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty.

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does.

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must.

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile.

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile.

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice.

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy.

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM.

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy.

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

#simp #like im literally the biggest simp #mcyt #dream smp #wilbur soot #the_eret #tommyinnit

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offtopicoverload · 4 years

Note

What do you think the female lis’ families are like? I feel like only the guys talk about their families, with the exception being Talia talking about her parents and brother I don’t think any of the other girls do at all

hi anon thanks for the ask, hope my headcanons make sense

Talia:

pretty nuclear family, an older brother, her mum and her dad

her older brother’s maybe 4 years older or so, not enough that they never saw each other but enough that they didn’t really meet in school or anything

and that’s definitely why she meshes so well with the Jake even though they have like 6 years between them, shes used to the gap and hes really similar to her brother anyway, both goofy but sweet when they need to be

she definitely really close with her mother, i know its mentioned that they look just like each other, but i think that dialogues universal for the S1 LIs

and her mum owns a salon, right?

thats definitely why she takes such good care of her hair, her mother always did when she was little and encouraged it, complimenting her on it and styling it whenever she wanted

and she worked at the salon when she was a teenager and it was summer, working the front desk or cleaning up, sorting products, that sort of thing

its definitely a different story with her dad, hes pretty traditional and didnt take her coming out very well

it ruined things between them for a while and made it hard for her to visit, she only saw her brother at his place and her mother at the salon, but after LI, if shes with MC, he eases up a bit when he sees how happy they are

shes so open about her sexuality, especially on the show, because she doesn’t want any other kids to feel alone, she knows how much it sucked when she was a teenager

if she ends with MC, her mothers there at the finale and just showers MC in compliments and comments about wedding bells to mess with Talia

and her brother loves teaming up with MC and Jake to tease her

the first time he met Jake, Talia thought they’d get married on the spot cuz they just meshed so well

her dads wary at first, but once its clear that MCs not going anywhere, maybe he catches them talking about him or something and just being vulnerable with each other, which is something Talia never was with him, he starts welcoming MC more, buys her flowers or something the next time they visit and annoys Talia because he didnt get any for her

Allegra:

ive been headcanoning for a while that she has a really big family and an awful relationship with them

her parents got divorced when she was little, maybe 3 or 4, they both remarried, her mom got divorced and remarried again, so she has a ton of half and step siblings, but no full

because there were so many kids in whatever household she was staying in at the time she kinda got lost in the crowd, which is why shes so desperate for attention on the show, she never got any when she was younger

and no matter what happens on the show, her parents dont call her or come to the finale, the only person that says anything is the one step sibling shes close with

they're about the same age, maybe 8 months to a year apart, and were glued to each others side when they were tweens

but they live really far apart and her step sister couldn’t make it to the finale, so they barely see each other which makes them drift apart a bit

if MC runs away with her after the reunion, she gushes to her step sister and they get closer again, to the point that her sister moves in with her for a job a year or two later, maybe right before quarantine if MC doesn’t so they don’t go insane

MC and her sister get on well and always call her Leggy just to watch her get mad, and they’re the only two people that can get her to calm down when shes pissed, her anger being another side effect of being ignored as a kid

the only way she got attention was if she threw a fit, and eventually that frustration just stuck around

but she gets better when she gets closer with her sister again and after the backlash from the show dies down, which it does pretty quickly when her and MC announce their relationship since she was the fan favourite

she never really introduces MC to her family, it just doesn’t make sense to her, but MC drags her along to a few weddings and holiday parties until Allegra’s dad introduces himself to her like its the first time four events in a row

she gives up after that, and Allegra’s perfectly fine with it, she’d rather keep their relationship between them anyway

Marisol

like Talia, she has the same family dynamic - an older brother and her parents

but her brothers only a year older and their relationship is a lot tenser

her dad always encouraged competition between them - if one got a good mark on an exam, the other was expected to match or do even better, if her brother got an award, Marisol was expected to get it a year later, that sort of thing

she doesn’t really talk with her brother outside of formal or family events, there’s still a lot of tension from their teenage years between them, but Marisol’s too proud to admit it, and her brother is too

and she’d never admit it, but the whole reason she’s in law school is because her father wanted her to, and she was just lucky that she enjoyed it

and again, like Talia, her dad didnt take her attempt at coming out well, he just flat out denied it, told her she’d meet a nice guy and settle down, that is what just a phase, all that shit

neither her mother or brother stuck up for her, which pissed her off a bit and just made things worse

her mother was never that involved in her life, never seemed that interested unless she was getting perfect marks and competing in dance competitions

and because she was so focused on her studies and work, she never had many friends and has honestly always seen them as a waste of time

its why she has no problem shitting on Lottie’s girl code, to her it just never made sense

so most of her friends end up being from the show and MCs friends if they’re together, and shes not big on family events, her immediate family isn’t either

but she is really close to her abuela on her mum’s side and an older cousin on her dad’s who’s gay and shes always related to

she got really excited to introduce MC to them, and her abuela made a whole array of food for Marisol, MC, and her abuelo and her abuela cooed over MC for ages

her cousin bought them drinks and made them tell him stories from the Villa, and afterwards pulled Marisol aside and told her he was proud and approved of MC and it made her really mushy and she hated it, MC wouldn’t let go that she cried in the cab for ages

her brother and her mother were never particularly rude to MC, but her father definitely was cold and distant and disrespectful

she got pretty pissed after that, telling MC off for ever encouraging to go and shouting about why that kind of thing was the exact reason she kept her distance

her and MC definitely has some issues after that for a while, and she shut her dad out until he gave a halfhearted apology, but her cousin and abuelos helped her feel better about her family situation

Elisa:

her parents aren’t together anymore and her mum had custody of her most of her life, even though she struggled to raise her and her sister

she didnt know her dad that well until she was a in her late teens, but regardless of all the lost time, they still have a good relationship

makeup and art was an escape when she was younger, and even when her mother was exhausted after working multiple shifts, she always encouraged her and helped her improve or just told her she loved it

her mum was her biggest supporter when she started the whole influencer thing, and her favourite thing to spend her money on is things for her family, like flowers for when she visits her mum or a new phone for her younger sister

they’re seven years apart, so she never had that close of a relationship with her when she was young, because what 13 year old wants to hang out with their annoying 6 year old sister

but once she got a bit older she started taking her to the movies and shopping to bond and encouraging her own art

her sister loves music, and even if she cant relate to it directly, she always does her best to support her

she even got kassam to make her sister a mixtape after the show and give some tips on mixing, and if MCs a musician she always asks her to give her sister lessons or something

introducing MC to her whole family all at once was one of her favourite things to do, she took them all to dinner and bought MC a dress and everything

her parents loved MC and laughed at all her jokes, and MC nearly joked on her salad at a story her dad was telling

and even though her sister was pretty quiet, she told Elisa how much she liked her afterwards

they all start a family game night that is Elisa’s favourite thing to post about all week, and even though her parents haven’t been together since she was 7 or so, they still get on well and now that her dad’s more comfortable being there even though he’s not with her mum, hes more involved in her sisters life

her job and her Elisabees are crazy important to her, but she’d drop all of it for her family, even if she doesn’t seem super sappy

Lottie

shes an only child for sure, but with a few cousins shes decently close with

her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect by any means, but she still gets on with them

they encouraged her art even if they made some odd comments about her being alt that rubbed her the wrong way, but they mean well

there was a couple years where Lottie thought they’d get divorced, because they were arguing about finances cuz her mum went back to school and they lost her income, but when she started working as a nurse they were able to get back on track

her dad’s a bloke and loves sports and cars and all that, but hes also big in horror movies and is the one that introduced her to it

her mum hated all the gore, but her dad would let her watch it with him when she was out of the house

she always goes home for Christmas no matter where shes living, but has her own traditions for New Years and Easter

her aunt and uncle always host a big dinner and her dad drives two hours to get there, and she always spends the drive listening to new music and planning new makeup looks to test out

she has a ton of cousins because each of her parents has 4 siblings, but their ages are all so spread out that shes only close with a few of them and swaps stories from the year with three of them

they all lost their shit over MC when she brought her to their Christmas Eve dinner, hugging her way too much in Lottie’s opinion and telling her as many embarrassing stories as they could think of

her mum spent the car ride there trying to connect with MC, and they actually got on pretty well, but her dad seemed to click with MC even more for whatever reason, giving her a beer when they got back to Lottie’s parent’s house and turning on Lottie’s favourite slasher film for background noise while they talked

her dad made MC swear that she’d come back next year, that they weren’t allowed to trade between MC’s family for Christmas and Lottie’s, and MC agreed with a laugh as Lottie’s head was in her lap, watching the movie

Hannah:

she has a huge traditional family

three older brothers, two older sisters, and a younger brother

she grew up in the country and her mother had horses that she always loved to spend time with cuz i love her but she was 100% a horse girl

her parents never had any problems, were always happy and sappy and that was the only type of relationship she saw growing up, so before Love Island she didn’t really understand that relationships could be bad and how to deal with that

two of her older brothers and both of her sisters are married, her brothers and one sister have kids, again super traditional and happy, which only further reinforced these fairy tale ideals she has

she loves her nieces and nephews, but never felt like an aunt, more of an older cousin for whatever reason

her oldest sibling is her brother, they’re 13 years apart and he has four kids already, hes been married since 21

her oldest sister got married the oldest at 25, and shes always been worried she won’t match up to them, which was a huge motivator to go on Love Island

shes closest with her middle sister, who’s 23 with no kids, but she still has a nice house in the suburbs with a big yard, still crazy nuclear

her whole life has been spent around this type of tradition, and it was really hard for her to break out of it after Love Island

Hannah’s youngest brother is still only 15, and hes a bit of a black sheep - hes alt and dyes his hair and draws tattoos on his arms during school, and she was never close with him before Love Island, but after she comes out as some kind of queer, he comes out as gay and nonbinary(he/they) and they get really close for once

he gets in a fight with their parents when they’re 17, and he runs to Hannah’s place, driving multiple hours to get there and moves in with her after a few weeks

they stay with her until they graduate uni with a degree in education, getting a job at a school and telling all their students that his sister was on Love Island and her girlfriend’s really cool

MC and him are her biggest encouragement to break from the mold her family set, both so her relationship can thrive and to be a good role model for her younger sibling

she struggles with fitting in with her stereotypical family and siblings that all have multiple kids and nice houses, but she still loves her little mishmash of MC, her sibling, and the constant friends that cycle through their flat - Lottie, Priya, Chelsea, Gary sometimes even, Ibrahim once or twice as hes on a golf tour

Lottie loves her sibling and sometimes does makeup for them, and Chelsea always shows up unexpected to hang out with MC and redecorate their house but Hannah hates it because she likes all the memories her clutter has, even if MC calls her a hoarder sometimes

she had so many hand me downs growing up that now she has her own place, she loves filling it with things that are for her and MC and only them and has a really hard time letting go of things, always reasoning that they might give her inspiration to write or something

AJ:

shes an only child too, which made her dad treat her as much like as son as he could

her parents struggled to conceive, so once they used IVF to have her they didnt want to go through it again

her dad was super excited when she was interested in sports and is her biggest fan, always showing up to every single game and driving her to practices before she moved out, though she still doesn’t have a car cuz she hates driving, its too much pressure

her dad would watch games with her and coach her during off seasons, her uncles a football coach and used to get them tickets when he could, sometimes letting her train with his team when she was a teenager

her mum didnt like how hard she pushed herself, but was still supportive of how much she loved it

her mums a mathematician and always helped her with her homework because she awful at maths, while her dad would try and teach her history or edit papers until her mum had to step in and correct him

when she came out as bi and later gay, they didnt even bat an eye, her mum making her pride color cupcakes and her dad maybe even being excited that he could point out cheerleaders when they were watching games

her mum didn’t quite understand when she wanted to go on Love Island, but her dad thought it’d be a laugh and further enforced her “just have fun” attitude

but her parents are both crazy happy when she wins with MC, making a banner when AJ first brings her home

she thought her dad would crush MC when he started hugging her, and her mum made an entire cake, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, and more sweets that she made them take home

her parents always make her and MC come over for dinner on Sundays and she started noticing the extra effort they always went to - her dad actually dressing nice, the house was super clean, the dog always had recently been given a bath

even though she knew her parents supported her, seeing all that really calmed her nerves about bringing home a girl, and made her coming out as a gay a lot easier

MC and her alternate between their family’s for holidays, and her parents each invite their brother and their families every time, and after their third holiday at her parents, they bought her and MC a dog

her and MC definitely have a pretty traditional family life, married after a few years with a nice house, going as far as to adopt a kid or two when AJ stops playing professionally, her parents always closely involved with their grandkids

Disclaimer - I don’t know if Yasmin or Lily make mentions of their family, so I’m just going with what I think

Yasmin:

her mother passed when she was 12, and her and her younger sister were raised by her dad

he wasn’t always the best dad, sometimes he struggled to make time for them with work, or sometimes he struggled to connect with them, but it was never anything too bad

she was always super close to her sister and parented her as she was growing up since they have a 9 year difference between them

her sisters her biggest fan and always makes her send demos and work in progresses so she can listen to them on repeat, and whenever Yasmin writes a song specifically for her she loses her mind

all her friends love Yasmin’s solo music and Enchanted Husband and she brags nonstop

Yasmin figured out she liked girls pretty young, around 10 or so, but only came out when she was 17. she didnt want her sister to ever feel alone or isolated if she ended up being queer too, so she tried to always be open about who she was

her dad sat her down when she bought a pride flag and had her explain everything to him step by step, and he gave her some space for a few days, but then he offered to take her to pride when it came around

he doesn’t talk about it with her much, and she knows he doesn’t fully understand, but he offers his support whenever he thinks she needs it

her sister absolutely fangirled over MC the first time she met her, hugging her and not letting go until Yasmin nearly pulled her off MC

her dad hugged her too but was far more reserved, hes quieter like her, and tends to keep his distance, whereas her sister has no problem shrieking and making a scene in a train station

later that night her dad pulls her aside and tells her he likes MC and thinks shes a good fit, and her sister has no problem saying how cool MC is, even when shes in the room

her sister and her dad always ask for tickets when shes touring nearby, and MC always offers to take them to dinner before the show, and the three of them get on better than Yasmin expected

she thought her dad might be too distant or her sister too excitable, but even if she’d never say anything, seeing them all get on makes things easier

when her sister gets older and moves out, their dad moves closer to Yasmin, even though he never says exactly why, and there’s a few years where her sister and her are both to busy to meet up, but MC makes them hang out together and then get dinner with their dad when their all in town

MC tends to be her reminder to slow down, and after that dinner she cancels the rest of her tour and takes a two year break in which her sister starts spending weekends at Yas and MCs, their dad visiting often too

Lily:

she has three full brothers and shes the only girl, her parents are divorced and her dad remarried while her mother stayed single

she has a step sister from her dad’s remarriage, but they dont have much in common and didnt grow up together, her parents only split when she was 15

two of her brothers are older than her and her oldest is the one shes closest with, with a gap of 7 years between them

hes an engineer and into cars too, he helped her fix up her first car and helped her pay for college

her youngest brother is only a year below her, but they were never close, he was never that interested in playing in the mud when they were kids

hes an art and english double major and still lives with their dad, hes closer with their step sister than Lily, but there’s no bad blood or anything

her other brother is a middle ground, three years older than her

he’s an accountant and used to drive her around before she could herself, they bonded over a few small mutual interests like a tv show they would binge together and just staring a space together since they shared a room, her younger brother and step sister across the hall

her dad wasn’t crazy active in her life and she doesn’t know her step mother, but her mum worked from home when she was younger and had custody on weekends

she babied her younger brother and always scolded Lily for being a tomboy and it bothered her a lot when she was little, until her older brother started encouraging it

her brothers all love MC, even her youngest, and they all try and bond with her in a different way

sometimes Lily goes home just to find a note that one of her brothers took MC to a movie or dinner or somewhere else, and she wants to be annoyed with them for it, but she likes the validation

she never officially came out, so none of them saying anything or criticizing her is really comforting, knowing that something so trivial doesn’t matter

her mum was a little shocked by the show and MC, but she tries to be polite and eventually comes around, inviting MC to go shopping to bond

her dad has no problem, her step mother being a little confused but not concerned, and her step sister doesn’t care, just nods at MC the first time she meets her

Lily tends to keep her distance from her family, especially when her older brothers find partners and start families, but is fine going to events, sometimes its nice to see her brothers and catch up

#can it kc #headcanons #litg talia #litg allegra #litg marisol #litg elisa #litg lottie #litg hannah #litg aj #litg yasmin #litg lily #asks

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judylicious · 3 years

Text

And When He Smiles I Swear I Can’t Breathe

Alan Rubin x fem!Reader

Word count: 1,655

Fandom: Blues Brothers

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Blues Brothers characters or movies. This refers to Alan Rubin as a character in the movie, not the real Alan (although he obvsly played himself but you know what I mean)

I’d like to add that I made everyone of the band a few years younger (so the age gap between the reader and Alan isn’t that big), so he’s approx. in his early 30s.

Sophia & Lisa are two OCs created by two lovely people within the fandom.

Warnings: none

Chapter IV

A few days past and Sophia and Lisa had a hard time to get a hold of Charlotte. She barely was home and spent a lot of time in classes or in the College’s own library. Her plan was to keep herself distracted from thinking about Alan and also putting more effort into her studies had settled her parents in some way. At least they were asking less questions and leaving her alone for most of the time.

One day the two friends went by Charlotte’s home again, hoping she’d be there. And as she opened the front door, her friends were purely delighted to see her again. “Hey hun, we’ve been trying to reach out to you.” “Yeah I’m sorry, I was pretty busy studying. Please come in.” “You’re parents home?” “Nope, fortunately they’re not.” “We really have been worried about you.”, Sophia said and took a seat on the couch. “I know and I’m really sorry, I had some trouble with my dad and you know how I prefer to isolate when things become though.” “We’re always there for you.”, Lisa reassured Charlotte and they both sat down beside Sophia. “We are meeting the boys Friday night for a casual get together and thought it’d be lovely if you joined us.” “Just Lou and Jake?” “Yes exactly.”, Lisa replied to her. But Sophia shot the girl with the red hair a commanding eye. “A-and Alan.” “Well, to put things straight he said he’d be there if there was a chance of you being present.”, Sophia explained. “What? Girls this ain’t funny.”, Charlotte said and wanted to get up but her friends hold her in place. “The last times we met the boys he asked about you, wanted to know why you wasn’t with us.” “Alright don’t toy with me. The last time I saw him, he had some blonde woman in his arms.” “Look I don’t know who that woman was, perhaps we was unhappy with the situation between you two and was simply trying to distract himself.” “You know what men are like.”, Sophia also trying to comfort Charlotte. “He really asked about me?” “Yes, yes, he did! A few times actually!” And just the day before yesterday. I told you the very first night he’s crazy about you.” Charlotte needed a moment to think about it. “Well, okay, yeah, why not!” “Great, I can’t wait for the three of us back together, we really missed you.” Sophia gave her friend a tight hug. “If anything’s wrong, call us. Please.” She gave her friends a warm smile. “I will. Oh, Sophia before it forget… I hope you gave Jake an appropriate welcome the other night.”, Charlotte said with a whimsically grin. “Oh you bet I did. We didn’t even made it home without, you know. So finally my car’s inaugurated.”, Sophia boasted with a big laugh. “Woah remind me to never ride along in your car ever again.” “Well in that case you shouldn’t use my apartment’s door anymore either! Or sit on my sofa, my kitchen table-“ “Damn girl, I got you!”, causing the three girls to scream with laughter. “No seriously Jake’s a wild boy, couldn’t wait for him being back but there’s no better feeling than falling asleep in his arms, cuddling into his chest.” “Well, we certainly are happy you got him back for now.” “Truth to be told you were pretty narky without him.”, Lisa rolled her eyes joking.

Until Friday there were going so many thoughts through Charlotte’s head and she constantly told herself not to get her hopes up again. Yes, he asked about her. But that didn’t mean anything necessarily. He still could be interested in a casual hook, especially after what Lou had told her. But tonight would give her a harmless opportunity to learn more about him and that “issue" without making a fool out of her by asking him out directly.

Charlotte picked out a nice dress and did her make up in front of the mirror, while dancing and singing along to one of the boy’s albums. When she was satisfied with her look, she grabbed her coat and jumped on to the next bus heading city centre.

They agreed to meet at this little bar with live music, which especially gave young, newcomers of the rhythm and blues scene a chance to gain experience.

Sophia and Lisa waited for Charlotte in front of the bar. “Hiya girls, am I running late?” “No, not at all, the guys are already inside but we didn’t want you to walk in on your own.” They gave each other a hug before Charlotte went inside first. She let her gaze wander through the room and found Jake sitting at a table near the small stage where a young girl with a guitar was performing. Lou was walking towards the bar, where no less than Alan was sitting on one of the barstools, a lady leaning into him. She was tugging and fiddling with his shirt, his hands grabbing hers and the upper part of his black, silk shirt was unbuttoned, exposing his chest hair. Her face only inches away from his. And that was all Charlotte needed and wanted to see. She turned on her heel, squeezed past her friends and straight through the door. “Wait, Charlotte where’re you going?” Hearing her name, Alan looked to the door and saw a baffled Lisa and Sophia, who quickly noticed the woman that was almost on his lap by now and they gave each other a concerning look.

Lou carefully grabbed the woman, trying to pull her away from Alan. “Miss you’re drunk. You’re surely doing better if you go home.” “No, get your hands off of me. I’m in the middle of a conversation with this very handsome man, can’t you see?”, the woman slurred. “We’re not!”, Alan claimed. “I’m sorry but I already told you, I’m not interested.” “No, no, you gave me those eyes, I can always tell.”, the woman persisted. Luckily the bartender chipped in “Listen, Ma’am, we called you a taxi, it’s waiting outside and will bring you home. You are way to drunk to be in my bar and I won’t approve of you molesting other guest.” Jake started up from his chair and he and Lou both grabbed on arm of the lady, dragging her outside, placing her carefully in the car waiting outside. “Thanks guys.”, Alan thanked the two as soon as they got back in. He greeted Lisa and Sophia and they all took a seat at the table next to Elwood. Alan looked at the girls, “Charlotte, she…?” “Is probably home by now.”, Sophia finished for him. “There was nothing going on, SHE approached me, I wasn’t even interested.” , he tried to explain himself. “We know that, Charlie’s just… overreacting sometimes, when it comes to things like these.”, Sophia told him and Lisa felt the need to correct her, “she’s overcautious, that’s all.” The three musicians gave the girls a curious look. “Her ex cheated on her for quite some time. Problem was he was an employee of her dad, he introduced the two.” “Some young and rich wanna-be.”, Sophia added. “Everyone knew he wasn’t good for Charlotte but her dad thought so much of him it was hard for Charlotte to convince him otherwise. So she had a hard time when she was trying to break up with that guy. Her father simply didn’t let her and she had so stay with him.” “That’s shit, man.”, Lou mumbled. Alan looked taken aback. “She knows not every man is like him but if a guy she likes is surrounded by women every time, it scares her off.” “No chances for you then, Mr. Fabulous, huh?”, Jake joked and gave him a bump with his elbow and Alan said nothing but lowered his eyes. “I’m sure she will understand that she was wrong to judge the situation from what she saw only.”, Lisa said with a smile and laid her hand on Alan’s arm. Lou though quickly grabbed Lisa’s other hand and she understood that little hint by removing her hand from Alan’s arm causing him to chuckle about the cute couple next to him.

For the rest of the night the four tried to cheer up the trumpet player but didn’t success. He had been looking forward to this evening so much. He understood that Charlotte was being cautious after what had happened with her ex but was as disappointed he didn’t even had proper chance yet to show her how much he liked her.

The next Monday afternoon Charlotte’s father got home excitedly. “Sylvia darling! We won the case against ‘Jones & Johnson’! They finally decided the verdict, what a triumph.”, he praised and gave his wife a big kiss. “We’re all going out for dinner, tonight. This calls for a celebration. Tell the girls to get ready and dress up!”

On schedule for their reservation the family got into their car. “You know I still think you and mum should enjoy this night on your own, you deserve some quality alone home.”, Charlotte tried to bluff it out. “Nonsense, you two are joining us.”, her dad told her. “What was that restaurant called again….?”, the youngest sister enquired. “Ugh, don’t even bother to tell us, I bet it’s just another snobby French place”, Charlotte snapped and laid her head against the window.

As they reached the posh restaurant, the bored girl ambled behind her parents, checking out the place. “Chez Paul.”, she mumbled the name of the place and scoffed. “Good evening, Sir, we have a reservation at 8, for Ellington.”. She heard her father say. “Of course, welcome at the Chez Paul, Mr. Ellington. Please this way.” And at the first word Charlotte had already recognised that voice. His voice. So soothing and sexy, like the melody of her favourite song.

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III

#Alan Rubin x fem!Reader #Alan Rubin x Reader #blues brothers #blues brothers fanfiction #blues brothers fandom #Mr. Fabulous

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sbtlns · 4 years

Text

Home, part five

Warnings: mainly fluff, very slight nsfw

A/N: sorry for the delay in posting, a bitch is goin through it! i hope you enjoy the recipe for the depression meal ive been making everyday of quarantine lmao. i’m working on a request that should be done later this week, so send me any requests you have! also if you have any thoughts on where you want this series to go let me know!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Cas carried the grocery bags to the front door where you stood, thumb running over the key that had rested idly on your keychain for three years. After seeing Castiel waiting patiently behind you, you unlocked the door and held it open for him. “Home sweet home, Cas!” you exclaimed cheerfully, taking in your surroundings. Castiel stood still, eyes taking in every detail your home had to offer. “This is a beautiful home, Y/N,” he said softly. “I think so too, Cas,” you smiled at him. “All right let’s put these groceries away and fix up some dinner,” you said, clapping his back and walking into the kitchen. Castiel followed closely behind you like a lost puppy. You sorted through the groceries, putting everything away except what you would be using to cook dinner.

“It’s already late so I’m just gonna make a quick pasta, if that’s okay,” you bit your lip looking for any signs of protest on his face. “I can cook something nicer tomorrow,” you added quickly. Castiel smiled reassuringly at you before saying, “pasta will be more than enough, thank you, Y/N.” You smiled back to him and turned to get some water boiling in the pot. Once it boiled, you dumped in some pasta and then grabbed a pan and set it on another burner. You threw some olive oil in the pan, followed by some garlic, chopped basil, and spinach. Once the pasta was done, you drained it and tossed it into the pan to mix it in with the other ingredients. Castiel stood behind you watching intently. “This smells lovely, Y/N,” he commented. “Well,” you said grabbing two bowls from the cabinet. “Let’s hope it tastes good too.”

You filled both bowls, grabbed silverware, and set it all down on the table. “Here, Cas,” you said gesturing to a bowl in front of an empty seat. He took the hint and sat down while you made your way to the cabinet to grab a wine glass. “Do you want some wine?” you asked over your shoulder. He furrowed his brow, deep in thought. After a few moments he replied, “I’m not sure if I will like it, but I would like to try.” You nodded and grabbed a second glass, filling both with white wine. You made your way back over to the table, setting his glass in front of him. You watched as he took a forkful of pasta and looked at it carefully before taking a bite. You stifled a laugh as his eyes widened, looking up at you and vehemently nodding. “Y/N,” he began, mouth full of pasta. “This..this is incredible!” “Thanks, Cas, it’s just pasta,” you laughed, digging in to you bowl. He took a big gulp of wine and you laughed at the way his face immediately scrunched up. “Cas,” you said between laughs. “You’re not supposed to chug it,” you told him while he coughed, struggling to recover from the burn of the alcohol. “I think,” he coughed, “I think I will stick to water for now.”

After the two of you finished dinner, Castiel was insistent on washing the dishes. “It’s the least I can do,” he repeatedly said in defense to your protests. “Fine, thank you. I’m gonna grab a shower, I’ll be back down soon,” you said over your shoulder as you made your way to the staircase. You walked up the stairs and down the hallway, stopping when you reached the spot where you had found your sister on that fateful night. You shut your eyes, clutching the necklace she had given you before her death tighter to your chest. Taking a deep breath, you made your way to the linen closet, grabbed a towel, and walked into the bathroom. You opened your music app on your phone while reaching into the shower to turn the hot water on. You undressed, singing to your favorite song and slipped into the shower. You sighed in relief as your muscles relaxed into the hot water; you had been driving for so long and it felt good to finally be home. You turned to grab the shampoo when you saw it. The biggest spider you had ever seen in your entire life. Your blood ran cold as a piercing shriek involuntarily left your lips. You desperately tried to back up from it, but lost your footing and you fell, scrambling to get out of the tub. You had just barely covered yourself with your towel and the door flew open and Castiel stumbled in.

“Y/N!” Castiel yelled, eyes wide in concern, darting across the room trying to find your attacker. Not seeing any threat, his brows furrowed as he cast his gaze down to you, dripping wet and clinging on to your towel. Your face was pale and you tried to explain yourself. “Sp-spider in th-the show-er,” you managed to get out, arm pointing behind you. Brows still furrowed, he tilted his head in confusion and stepped toward the shower. He drew back the curtain and found your assailant. He quickly scooped it up in his hands and left the bathroom. You took a deep breath and let out a shaky exhale, trying to calm yourself after making an absolute fool of yourself in front of Castiel. Silently cursing yourself, you stepped back into the shower.

After changing into one of Sam’s old college shirts that came to your mid-thigh and some boy-cut underwear, you walked back downstairs trying to overcome your embarrassment. Castiel was sitting quietly on the couch, thumbing through one of your coffee table books. He turned as he heard you enter the room and gave you a gentle smile. “The spider is outside, where he belongs,” he said assuringly. You gave him a stiff smile, trying to ignore the red creeping up your cheeks. You cleared your throat before saying, “sorry if I scared you I just....” you trailed off, plopping down next to him on the couch. Sighing, you continued, “I know that I literally fight monsters for a living but..spiders,” you shivered. “I don’t do spiders,” you said, cutting yourself off from rambling. Castiel nodded understandingly. “Some of my father’s creations can be...intimidating,” he agreed. You sighed again and shook your head. “Do you wanna do something? We could put on a movie or play a board game, or if you’re tired I can show you your room,” you said turning to the former angel. Castiel thought for a moment. He knew that he was tired and would soon require sleep, but he couldn’t shake the ever present longing to spend time with you.

“I think I would like to watch a movie with you,” he stated confidently, peering into your eyes. Fighting the urge to get lost in his eyes, you nodded and quickly turned to find the remote. The two of you decided on a cheesy looking horror movie, something you and Dean would have chosen for one of your weekly movie nights. You ignored the pang in your heart as you thought about the brothers, instead focusing on the movie in front of you. You settled into your seat on the couch, just inches away from Cas. He glanced longingly at the distance between you before shaking his head and turning back to the screen. A decent chunk of the movie had passed when there was suddenly a jumpscare you hadn’t anticipated. You gasped loudly, jumping at the monster on the screen. Castiel fought the urge to wrap his arms around you, comforting you the way he had done after waking you up from the nightmare you had at the motel. He was about to turn his attention back to the screen when his eyes grazed your newly bare thigh. The big t-shirt you were wearing had ridden up most of your thigh when you jumped, leaving your skin exposed. His eyes wandered up your leg, stopping at the apex of your thighs, still covered by the shirt. Castiel crossed his legs, desperately trying to ignore his tightening pants, and looked back up at the screen. He tried not to think of how soft your exposed skin would be to touch, how your body would react to his hand inching up your thighs, creeping higher and higher until-

“Cas?” Your voice ripped him away from his thoughts. He quickly turned to you, his wide eyes meeting your concerned expression. “Yes,” he choked out. Your features softened and you chuckled. “Did you hear what I said?” He looked down, avoiding your gaze. “No,” he muttered. You laughed again, resting your hand on his thigh. His eyes shot open and he felt his heart race and a blush creeping up to his face. “I said,” you began in a teasing voice, “I’m tired and I don’t want to fall asleep down here. Come on, I’ll show you your room.” You stood up and Castiel watched in disappointment as you t-shirt fell back down to your mid-thigh. He got up and followed you up the stairs to the room directly across from yours. “If you need an extra blanket, there’s some in the cabinet, the towels are in the hallway closet, and.....” you look around looking for anything else worth mentioning. “I think that’s it. Tomorrow I was thinking we could go shopping for some clothes for you, unless you wanna keep wearing the same outfit,” you joked. “If you need anything I’m right across the hall, don’t hesitate to knock,” you said smiling up at the former angel. He glanced around the room before his eyes landed on you, returning your smile. “Thank you, Y/N, you have been very kind to me...more than I deserve I’m afraid,” he trailed off, casting his eyes down to the floor. “Hey,” you began, reaching up to lay your hand on his shoulder. “You deserve the world, Cas. You’ve been so good to me,” you said as he lifted his head, meeting your stare. You stood there smiling at him for a second before removing your hand and saying, “Goodnight, Castiel,” and walking out of his room and in to yours. “Goodnight, my Y/N,” he said softly, sighing as he watched you walk into your room and close the door.

You woke up feeling more well-rested than you’d felt in a while. You got out of bed and made your way downstairs, noting Castiel’s closed door. You brewed a pot of coffee, enough for the two of you to have a couple of cups. You poured yourself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table, reading the newspaper and carefully scanning the stories for any mysterious deaths in the area. You heard footsteps padding down the stairs followed by a yawn and you smiled to yourself. You turned around to greet the sleep ridden Castiel but you were met with a surprise. Standing before you was the former angel rubbing the sleep from his eyes, dressed in just the t-shirt he had been wearing the day before and a pair of boxers that were fitting a bit...snug. Castiel had not realized his predicament until he followed your line of vision down. His eyes shot open and his face burned in sudden embarrassment.

“Y/N, I-” he cut himself off searching for what to say. You looked back up at him with raised eyebrows and opened your mouth to respond before he cut you off. “My vessel..it....I don’t..know...” he stuttered in a panic. You reached out for his hand and took it between yours. “Cas,” you said softly, smiling reassuringly at him. “This is um, a very natural thing for um, for a man’s body..in the morning,” you said awkwardly. He pulled his hand back and hung his head in shame, turning away from you. You bit your lip, feeling for the newly human Castiel. All of these experiences must be so overwhelming for him, especially this. You debated what to do in your head; on one hand you were secretly dying to help him yourself, you had been fantasizing about you and the angel since you first met him. On the other hand, you knew you couldn’t take advantage of him, especially when he was so vulnerable. Sighing, the angel on your shoulder won out.

“Cas,” you said, clearing your throat. “Maybe um, maybe you should call Dean...this is kind of his area of expertise.” Castiel nodded before walking back up the stairs. You sighed to yourself as you sipped at your coffee, trying to ignore the heat that had pooled in your core.

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tag list: (message me if you want to be added)

@antoniamarie1989-blog @transparentfestivaltiger

#cas x reader #human!cas #castiel #castiel x reader #human!castiel x reader

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padfootagain · 4 years

Text

Girl Crush (IV)

Chapter 4: Cyclamens For Farewells

Here we go for a new chapter!!! I am still on fire!! I hope you like this new part, tell me what you think :)

No warnings except for a little bit of angst towards the end.

Word Count : 2791

"I reckon that this is an octopus."

"Or maybe a lion."

You gave Harry a pointed look.

"How can you see a lion where I see an octopus? The two are far from being the same."

"Everyone sees the world through a different scope."

"And Harry the philosopher is back with us, ladies and gents…"

He let out a bright wave of laughter.

"Have you finished that book I gave you, by the way?" he asked, turning his neck in what had to be a painful position to look at you, but he didn't seem to mind.

The grass was soft under your bodies, and above your heads the lazy clouds drifted as they changed shapes. The Californian sun was warm, but not burning your skin anymore. It was quite late in the afternoon, and soon twilight would turn the azure sky in pink and purple hues.

It was good to have Harry back in L.A. even if it wasn't going to last for very long. He had some scenes to film for his movie Dunkirk in the studios by Hollywood, allowing him to spend some time with you again.

Along the months that had passed, you reckoned that your friendship had only strengthened. It was normal for the two of you to call each other almost every day. And the more you spent time learning about Harry, the more you liked what you discovered.

He was goofy, and funny, and held kindness to everyone he met as naturally that it was for him to smile. Of course, sometimes he pissed you off, and he was cheeky, and he could be a pain the arse if he wanted to be, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to hold any grudge against him. At the end of the day, he was one of the nicest people you had met in your life.

"I'm almost done. Do you want it back?" you asked back.

"No, no, no… take your time. I just want to talk about it with you, 's all."

"Not yet! No spoilers!"

"I wouldn't dare. You scare me too much."

"I hope so."

You both let out a laugh, looking at the clouds again. Harry pointed at another one, round and fluffy and cotton-like.

"This one is a jellyfish," he decided.

"Agreed."

"What? No arguing?"

"No… no, that's a jellyfish, alright."

He chuckled, and once his laughter had faded, his smile remained on his lips, dimples planted on his cheeks. You caught yourself staring, and hurried to look up at the heavens again.

He had cut his hair short for the purpose of the period drama he was filming, and you were now accustomed to seeing him with such hairstyle. When you learnt that he had given his cut hair to a charity, you weren't even surprised. It was most definitely something Harry would do.

Your eyes drifted back towards him, as if you couldn't help it, as if they were a compass and he was North. You studied how some of his curls had fallen out of place and covered his forehead a little…

…and then you shook yourself and brought your attention back to the clouds above.

"I hadn't done that since I was a child," Harry admitted. "But it's still very nice."

"It's relaxing," you nodded, "I hadn't done that in an eternity either."

You let out the next words before you could think them through, but they were true, so you didn't mind.

"I've missed you a lot, it's good to have you back, Harry."

He reached for your hand across the grass, and brushed his fingers against yours, as if to show you that he was here, or perhaps to remind himself that you were real.

"I've missed you too, Y/N."

Another cloud drifted above you, and you smiled at the shape. You and Harry pointed at it in sync.

"It's a heart!"

You looked at each other, and exploded with laughter. And maybe it was a little hard for both of you to look at each other for a while.

"So… nothing new?" you asked Harry, trying to hide how much your voice was hesitant.

"Not so much."

"You've got to tell me more about the set and everything though…"

But Harry shook his head.

"Not now. We don't talk about my work now. But we can talk about yours! What about that promotion you were aiming at? Any news? You were supposed to get an answer this week, right?"

You gave him a bright grin.

"Yeah, I got it."

"You did?!" Harry sat up in a jolt.

"Yep! I did! I'm officially a florist, and not an assistant!"

"That's amazing! Congratulations!"

Before you could move, he was pulling you up into a bear hug, making you laugh.

"It deserves some champagne!" he went on.

"Relax, it's not that big of a deal…"

"Not that big of a deal?! Are you kidding me?! You've been working so hard to get this job! It's amazing! Come on, get up! We're going to celebrate!"

"Now?"

"Yes, now! Come on!"

"Where are we going?"

"Doesn't matter! We're going to get hammered! Come on!"

He grabbed your hand and pulled you up to your feet, making you laugh.

"I thought you were supposed to see your girlfriend tonight," you reminded him, and Harry took out his phone.

"You're absolutely right. I'll tell her I'll be a little late."

"Or she can come with us?" you offered, even if you secretly hoped she would say no.

Not that you hated her or anything… it was more selfish than that. If she came along, she would be all over Harry, and you hadn't seen your friend in three months… and if you didn't blame her for it, you just wanted to spend some time with him.

But Harry shook his head.

"She had something to do before dinner, so I'll just tell her I'll be late. It's alright."

"You sure?"

"Of course! We should ask some of your friends to join us!"

"Uhm… okay…"

He frowned hard.

"You don't seem so happy about my idea. Did I say something wrong?"

But you shook your head with a happy smile back on your lips.

"Of course not, it's very sweet. I'll call a couple of friends and ask them if they want to join us."

"Nice! I know a nice bar not too far from here."

"I'd… rather go somewhere more… quiet…"

"I know just the place! Come on!"

An hour later, you were eating pies at the beachwood café with Harry, your colleague Sandra and your friend Jasmine.

If Sandra had met Harry at the flower shop many times, Jasmine had only heard of your new friend. And as you had come to realize along the past few months that Harry's name was better known than what you had expected, you thought it wise to warn her before she would arrive. Which was why the following texts were exchanged before she arrived at the café.

I've texted you the address of the café

Yep, just saw it.

Harry chose the place, it sounds nice.

Harry… I see…

Can you stop already? You're embarrassing me. We're friends, he's not single.

Just saying that it's been a while since

you've been in anything serious and he

sounds like a nice guy.

A nice guy in a relationship with someone else, yes.

By the way, as you know more about music than I do… I should warn you about Harry. I think you might know him

Really? What's his stage name.

Harry Sytles. Rings any bell?

WHAT?!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

WHAT?!?!

…

I take it that it does ring a bell, then…

You have about twenty minutes to get over it and calm the fuck down

If this is a joke you will not be my

friend anymore.

It's not a joke.

Omg…

You had to give it to her that she was doing a great job at trying to stay calm. She seemed a little freaked out, but loosened up as the evening went by. Harry was his usual charming self, asking her questions about her work, and answering with silly anecdotes. And in the end, you were grateful for Harry's idea, you were having a lovely time.

She held back until Harry had to excuse himself to the bathroom and you were left alone with her and your colleague.

Her smile vanished and became an accusatory expression while she kicked your shin under the table.

"Ouch! What was that for?!" you complained, throwing a piece of breath at her in retaliation.

"Harry… fucking… Styles… Are you KIDDING ME?!"

"Shh!"

"How could you not tell me before that you were friends with Harry Styles?!"

"The occasion never arose for you to meet him, and quite frankly, I'm beginning to wish that it never had arisen at all."

"I can't believe it… the cute clumsy guy from the wedding was Harry Styles…"

"Don't talk about him like that," you frowned.

"Like what?"

"Like he's not a person."

"I'm not doing that. I'm just pointing out the fact that he's super famous! And hot!"

You rolled your eyes.

"Jasmine…"

"He's very nice, don't get me wrong!" she interrupted you. "But… that's hard to process."

"Well, you'd better process before he comes back!"

"He's a sweetheart, he would get it!"

"We're having a nice evening, Jas! Don't spoil it."

"Oh! Calm the fuck down!"

"Is everything alright?"

You both turned to Harry, who was standing by your table again. He was frowning hard, looking suspicious.

"Yeah, everything's fine," you beamed up at him, which made him only more suspicious.

"Okay… Why are you acting weird?"

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm not."

He took his seat once more, but the cloud didn't vanish above the table so easily.

Indeed, it only grew darker as Harry's phone vibrated for the fifth time in ten minutes.

"You should call her," you advised, taking a sip of water.

"Who?" Jasmine questioned, even if she knew perfectly well who you were talking about.

"My girlfriend. She can wait though," Harry argued.

"You were supposed to see her tonight, she's right to be pissed."

Harry rolled his eyes.

"She came four times while I was shooting abroad, I haven't seen you in three months! You've just had a big promotion, and she's making a scene because we're spending time together, not because I'm late."

He heaved a frustrated sigh.

"She'll calm down. Or maybe she won't. Not my problem for the moment. For now, you've got to tell me more about this project Mary dragged you into… what kind of sculpture can you do with plants?"

He was dodging the issue, and you let him, answering his questions and letting him brighten the mood around the table once more. You didn't really want to spend your evening with him talking about his girlfriend. You felt like you were a bad friend because of it, being selfish, but somehow, it made you quite sad to think of Jessica. Maybe it was because, once he would be in her flat with her, he wouldn't have time to spend for you anymore.

You were awakened by your doorbell ringing. When you checked the hour on your clock, it was 1 am.

Who the hell could be at your door at 1 am?!

You dragged yourself out of bed, grabbing a magazine that you rolled to turn it into some kind of weapon.

"Who is it?" you asked through the door.

"It's Harry. Can you open the door?"

You recognized his voice and his accent in a second, and unlocked the door in a hurry.

He looked dishevelled, had a bag in his hand, and his eyes were red as if he had been crying.

He looked miserable.

"What's going on? What happened?" you questioned, moving out of the way to let him in.

He didn't move from the threshold though, looking at your pyjamas.

"I'm sorry, it's real late, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's 1 am."

"I'm sorry… I just… I didn't feel like being alone right now. You were asleep though."

"It's alright, come in, Harry. What's wrong?"

"I… huh… Jess and I broke up."

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'."

He finally walked inside your flat, dropped his bag by the door, and waited for you to guide him to the couch. It was strange for him to act so uncomfortable around your flat, he had been there dozens of times.

He had never knocked on your door in the middle of the night because he was heartbroken though.

"Sit down, I'm gonna make us some tea, yeah?" you told him with the kindest voice you could muster, and he nodded in agreement.

He seemed stunned more than anything else. You hurried back and forth in the kitchen to get the warm beverage ready, and soon reappeared in the living room with two hot mugs.

"Okay, tell me what happened," you asked, handing him a cup as you took a seat on the couch by his side.

He gave you a bitter smile.

"I don't really know why I act like I'm so upset about it, I reckon we both had it coming. It hasn't felt right for a while."

"Was it because of tonight? Because of our…"

"No, no, it wasn't because of that. It was just an excuse, really. It just… we drifted apart quite a lot these past few months."

"So… are these your things from her place?" you asked, nodding at the bag that rested by the front door.

Harry nodded.

"I… I didn't want to go back to my house. Didn't feel like staying there on my own. I'm sorry to bother you though."

"Don't be stupid, we're friends! That's what friends are here for."

"I told her I wanted to break up," he breathed out after a short silence. "She didn't exactly tried to hold me back and stop me from leaving."

You soothingly rubbed his shoulder, and he found your touch incredibly soothing, no matter how simple your gesture was.

"I don't really know why I'm so upset," he admitted. "I… I genuinely think that it's for the best, we weren't right for each other. I… I didn't… didn't love her enough, I think. Didn't make enough efforts for her…"

"You did buy an awful lot of flowers," you argued with a touch of humour that brough the ghost of a smile to his lips. "And you did try to see her as much as you could."

He shook his head, watching the smoke rise from his cup and vanish in the air.

"No, no I didn't. And I know it. If I really loved her, I would have made sure she would want me to stay. She didn't."

"Maybe you were just… not right for each other. It happens."

"Yeah…"

A tear rolled down his cheek.

"It's okay to be sad," you reassured him. "You've just broken up, even if you know you've made the right choice… it's still sad to say goodbye."

He nodded, sniffing this time.

You gave him a kind smile and opened your arms wide.

"A hug?"

He nodded, letting out a quiet sob, and he let himself fall into your embrace.

You kept him against you, wishing you could just make all his pain disappear right then, wishing there was more that you could do than to simply hold him while he cried. You didn't know how much better he felt now that he was holding you though.

The hug turned into watching a silly rom com on Netflix, but you kept on holding him against you.

He had stopped crying a while ago, and even smiled a couple of times throughout the movie. He didn't speak about Jessica again, and knowing his quiet nature, you reckoned that it was best to let him talk whenever he would be ready.

You reckoned he was good enough to try to make him laugh again.

"I did learn something about you out of this mess though," you said, making him peer up at you from his spot on your shoulder. "I knew you were a little spoon."

And it did make him laugh. After hearing him cry, you had never felt happier to hear this sound.

"I am a little spoon," he admitted.

"I knew it. I was absolutely certain of it."

"You're a big spoon, aren't you?"

You chuckled.

"I guess… I don't know, guess I don't have a preference. But… I don't mind being a big spoon for you."

You exchanged a smile, and he snuggled up against you once more to resume watching the film. A mischievous smile formed on your lips.

"That nickname's gonna stay though, little spoon."

***************************************************

@ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky @snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity @i-padfootblack-things @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi@jigsawlover10 @emyyjemyy @addictedtofictionalcharacters @staringmoony

@madamrogers @cronias13

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #imagine #harry styles series

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zeldasayer · 4 years

Text

Loving Dyn V - Christmas Eve

Pairing: Mandalorian/Dyn Jarren x Reader

Summary: Domestic Daddy Dyn, Artist Mom & the green bean attend your parents infamous Christmas Eve party. We get to know your parents and your backstory. (Continuation from Loving Dyn II & IV)

Warnings: Flashbacks including drinking, smoking, brief depictions of depression, loneliness/abandonment, mention of coming out.

Dyn squeezes your hand as you walk up the steps to your mother’s residence. Your other hand holding up your caramel coloured silk dress, your heels clicking against the marble.

Baby looks up at the 15-foot doorway in astonishment from his father’s arm.

“Okay,” you say turning to your two boys, you feel the lapels of Dyn’s blue velvet suit between your fingers to stay grounded. It’s fitted and he looks dashing. You’ve dressed Baby in a matching blue velvet robe you made yourself out of fabric you found at the market. “There’s my mother, Wilhemina. My father, Stark. My mother’s husband, Ezra. My father’s husband, Madden.”

Dyn nods, “Wilhemina. Stark. Ezra. Madden. I got it.”

“Right, and then there’s everyone else. My aunts. Uncles. Cousins. Family friends.” You look towards the door as you start to panic. “Oh god, Dyn what have I done?”

You start to fidget. “Everyone is in there. This is too much. It’s Christmas Eve. You must think I’m insane. Let’s just leave. We can just go. Let’s just go.’’

You turn and Dyn grabs your arm, “Hey, hey. It’s fine. I’m excited. I love Christmas.”

“You didn’t even know what it was three weeks ago.” You whimper.

“Yeah, well....” Dyn shrugs, tilting his head to the side.

You look down at your hands and Dyn crouches to try and find your eye line. “Hey, I am ready for this. It’s you, me and Baby against the galaxy, babe. Always. It’s going to be just fine.”

You nod and Dyn takes your hand and you push open the door.

You’re hit by a wave of warmth, sound, and colour. As the foyer is filled with people dressed in jewel toned evening wear, everyone dripping in silk and fur and velvet and gold. There is laughter and clinking of champagne glasses. More than a few heads turn toward you and you look down in embarrassment.

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darlene Love fills the air glowing rich with candlelight, as a droid skids past, offering drinks.

“HMm.” Dyn grunts in displeasure. You let go of his hand and link your arm through his.

“Come on, tough guy. Let’s find my parents”

Baby coos, distracted by the lights and colours and different voices, the vibrating music. Even Dyn has his neck craned up to the cathedral ceilings strung with twinkling lights.

“Remember,” you say looking back at them, Baby’s eyes bouncing around like a ping-pong ball, Dyn staring straight up at the oversized black and white portrait of you as a child, a goofy smile plastered across his face. “If this gets to be too much, you tell me and we’re out of here.”

“Yeah, sure.” Dyn says, looking back down. “Is that you?”

You look up at the portrait you mother had blown up after you moved out. It was taken at the beach, your hair wind-blown and salty at the end of the day. Your chin raised, and your eyes cast down to the side. You were 7.

“Uh, yep.” You say, maneuvering through the crowd. Stopping as more guests began to recognize you. You exchange quick kisses on the cheek and insist you’ll return once you find your parents.

“Kind of crazy, isn’t it?” Dyn asks.

“How so?” You say over your shoulder.

“That’s what our daughter could look like.”

You stop and Dyn walks into you, Baby’s arms go up in surprise. You look up at your love with wide eyes, “Okay, we’ll unpack that when it’s not Christmas.”

Dyn laughs and shrugs and you imitate his movements as a joke.

You turn back as you walk through the arches of the grand living room and you hear an excited scream.

A woman in a long red fur coat turns, she wears a matching red gown, her exquisitely shiny silver hair piled up with pins on the top her head. She has an opera length cigarette holder between her dark purple lips.

“Someone take this!” She calls, pulling the holder out of her mouth and stepping forward with her arms up. “There will be no smoking around my grandson! Or my daughter! Or her beautiful partner!”

“Hi, mom” you smile, opening your arms for her. She embraces you and gives you a kiss on the cheek.

“And this must be Dyn and Baby,” Wilhemina sings, wrapping her arms around the two of them.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you.” Dyn gasps through her grip.

Wilhemina pets the top of Baby’s head lovingly, then clasps her hands together. “I am so glad you’re all here. I am so happy.”

The droid skids by again, a replenished tray of champagne balancing on top.

“Please!” Your mother exclaims, “Have a drink.”

“I’d love one,” you say and Dyn just stares.

“It’s fine, just take it.” You say through your teeth.

Dyn grunts.

“Take it.” You pretend to cough.

Wilhemina raises an eyebrow but her focus is broken as she looks passed the two of you. “Oh, Stark! Look who’s here!”

You turn to greet your father, but Dyn catches his hand first. Giving him a strong handshake and Baby cackles from the bumpy movement.

“Nice to meet you, Dyn.” Your father smiles, before crouching down to meet Baby. Everyone is always stunned when they meet Stark, Baby included. He coos with his mouth agape, reaching for his club master reading glasses. Your father wears and all white suit with a black tie, salt and pepper hair slicked back, his beard impeccably kept. He stuffs his hands in his pockets as his velvet fog voice spills out of his mouth, “Well hello there, Baby,”

Baby smiles sweetly with wide eyes and Stark squeezes his little cheek.

“Y/N!” Madden calls, stepping around his husband. “The most beautiful girl in the galaxy. When are you going to let me put you in a movie?”

“Never!” You laugh, as you kiss each other on both cheeks.

Madden rolls his eyes, “I know, but I’ll never stop trying.”

“She’s far too talented to be an actor, Madden darling.” Stark declares to his husband, crossing in front of him to embrace you and you quickly inhale his cologne.

“Hi dad,” you smile up at him.

“I’m so happy you came.”

“I think I’ve almost missed it here.”

Dyn laughs at something Madden & Wilhemina are telling him, probably something at your expense, but you smile at the sweet sound of his voice any way.

“You look happy, my star.” Stark says, searching your face.

You look over to Dyn, now bouncing Baby on his side as your mother introduces them to her husband and others you recognize as your aunt Adohara and her family. Dyn’s face is Iike sunshine, even in the darkness of winter as he smiles and nods, wishing everyone around him a “Merry Christmas”.

Your aunt comments on his exquisite face as Children pull on his arm for a better look at Baby and Wilhemina passes him champagne. He and Baby are a commodity.

You look back to you father, “I really am, dad.”

Your father nods, “I am so glad, my star.”

Stark smiles, and behind his frames you can’t help but see relief, joy and sadness swirl around in his eyes, all at once.

Wilhemina Starling and Stark Juniper were pioneers of the hologram film age, and the biggest stars on Venus-9. They were disgustingly beautiful, effortlessly funny, breathtakingly talented, and, as a duo, criminally profitable. Their marriage was iconic and your birth was broadcasted on every comm on the planet, finally an heir to a film dynasty. The next true star, so they thought. You rebelled at an early age against any matching of your parents stardom. You would rarely sit still for photographs and journalists, loudly expressed your contempt for fame, specifically declaring you had never even seen a Starling & Juniper vehicle. You didn’t mean to come off harsh, it just spilled out of you.

You were cursed at such a young age with the ability to see through it all. You didn’t see the beauty, the constant filtering of important people through your home - from filmmakers, to poets, to musicians and diplomats. You didn’t see the opulence, or even the joy your parents brought to others through their films. You only saw the loneliness looking back at you in the mirror. The confusing desire to both rebel and have your parents full attention, to be as great as them in anything. You could only see a life you didn’t ask for. You wanted to be delicate, exist in the shadows. Stunning and strong.

Instead you were full of rage and sadness. Your own beauty repulsed you and you were so desperately impulsive. You screamed out to the sky every night “Why did you send me to this planet?!” for you knew it must have been a mistake. You weren’t who you longed to be. You had an obsessive desire to set the planet on fire, but knew it wouldn’t burn fast enough. Nothing ever did. You were lost in a never ending cycle of everything being too much, or not enough.

It wasn’t until you were an adult and moved off of Venus-9 that you saw your parents for what they were, as complicated and lonely as you.

There was your mother’s exhausting career in always being “on”. Trapped in a contract she signed at 21, she had been making 6 films a year since. She was who everyone either wanted to be, or be with. A pressure she kept hidden in the dark with cigarettes and brandy. The biting of her cuticles and the ever-present guilt of so desperately wanting to be famous, just to secretly be unable to handle it. Wilhemina threw herself into every party, every role, every glass of brandy with her purple lipstick print, as to not be afraid.

Though, Stark could have been the loneliest of all. From the ages of 12-15 you could count on one hand how many times you had seen your fathers glorious face. It was a time you called, The Days of Recluse. You all slept under the same roof but at this point your parents had separate bedrooms. Your father only emerging from his for work. Otherwise, he laid in the dark all day, you were certain, catching a glimpse inside his room one afternoon when your mother shuffled out with a tray of uneaten breakfast. One of the few times you actually came face to face with Stark during this time, his appearance startled you. Gone were his golden movie star looks. His lustrous perfectly coiffed black hair had gone dull and shaggy. His skin over grown with a beard that made him unrecognizable. The dreamy look in his eye had gone hard and vacant like stone. He looked frail, his body swallowed by light blue pyjamas. Ultimately, he looked defeated. If you didn’t know your father, you wouldn’t know who was standing before you in the hallway at the top of the stairs in your own home. You stood there, eyes wide and he began to cry.

“I love you,” you blurted out, and pushed past him. You didn’t know what to do. How could you? This was just your normal.

Wilhemina became increasingly irritable during this time. Favouring chain smoking in the grand living room, with her large sunglasses on with her sister, Adohara. They spoke in whispers, but you heard them, of not knowing what to do. Wanting to help your father but not knowing where to start. “He needs his truth.” Your mother would say. “He needs his truth.”

When your father came out to you, you wept. You wept for him, you wept for yourself, you wept for the light that now crept into the home. You wept tears of happiness because you felt like perhaps this had been what was missing all along, your father’s truth.

You had a vivid memory of just days later, sitting on the floor of your parents formerly shared en-suite bathroom as your mother cut your father’s unkept hair, and trimmed his beard that he decided to keep.

Your father leaned into every touch, and your mother smiled through misty eyes. It felt so intimate, like you shouldn’t be there. It was like witnessing two people coming out on the other side, battered and bruised, but alive. Victims of a vicious studio system that overworked them and stole the best years of their lives just to display for the joy of others. A system that didn’t care what happened to them, as long as they were making money.

You once had elaborate fantasies of telling your parents you were magnificent in spite of them, not because of them, but all that came out of your mouth the night before Stark moved out of the residence was, “Growing up was so hard.”

Your parents looked down in shame. Your father’s bottom lip protruding as he let out a heavy exhale.

Wilhemina grabbed his hand and opened her mouth to speak, but you cut her off.

“And I don’t need you to be sorry, I don’t need you to want to take it back, I just need you to know how hard it was to always be alone. I was always alone.” You felt your chest burn from your voice cracking. “I know it wasn’t easy for you either, but I was the child and I needed you.”

Wilhemina and Stark nodded. They knew. And you knew that they did. There had been a shift after your father’s coming out. You actually saw each other, Wilhemina in the process of retiring from the scene all together and Stark transitioning to work behind the camera. You had begun showing them your own work, your art picking up recognition under the pseudonym F/N Zelda as to not attract any concerns of nepotism. Your mother began hanging pieces around the residence until they sold, even holding on to the ones you insisted on scrapping.

They were trying, but change wasn’t immediate. You weren’t suddenly delicate overnight. You felt for your father who was now faced with dreaming up his entire life all over again, and your mother who was losing you both to new lives at once. The three of you had a lifetime to mend and heal from, but it finally felt like the beginning of the end.

“Dyn, Y/N,” your mother sings as Baby reaches for her, much to your surprise. “I hope it’s alright, I got a few Christmas gifts for Baby.”

Wilhemina adjusts Baby in her arms as he rubs his face softly against her fur coat.

“Of course,’ Dyn says.

“We got him a few things, too.” Stark says, putting a hand on Madden’s shoulder and Madden beams a radiant smile.

Your mother turns and you all follow her as a parade through the sea of people to the back of the home. Past the 18-person dining table and through the kitchen with servant droids assembling platters of hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne. You link your arm through Dyn’s again, pressing yourself against him as delicately as you can. You look up at him with doey eyes and he smirks.

Through the kitchen you’re met with the more modest living space, the one you frequented most growing up. You gasp.

The room is lit up by a Christmas tree surrounded by package after package wrapped in different coloured foils, all tied meticulously with bows. Different shapes and sizes, there is at least two dozen of them.

“Oh mom.. Dad...” You sigh.

Wilhemina sets Baby on the ground and he waddles toward the shiny colours.

Stark and Madden walk passed you excitedly as you and Dyn have stopped in your tracks, eyes wide.

Dyn leans into your ear and whispers, “Baby isn’t going to know what to do with any of this.”

“Yeah, no. Not a clue.” You whisper back.

Baby looks back at you, as his finger traces along a gift.

“Go ahead, Baby.” Dyn nods. “It’s all for you.”

Sometimes you can’t believe this is your life. A civil relationship with your parents. An angel you would run to the end of the galaxy for, and his sweet green bean that you came to care for as your own. A delicate existence that satisfies you creatively, emotionally and otherwise. Filled with soft moments and a love so deep, if you think about it for too long, it makes you cry. A life you didn’t know was possible, for you once believed you’d be screaming up into the sky for eternity. But here you are. Sitting cross legged on the floor with Baby in your lap as he tears through Christmas presents, more interested in the wrappings and bows than the toys themselves. Dyn scarfing down hors d'oeuvres with your step dads and father just above you, stopping to feed you one, as your hands are tied with your sweet boy. Your mother watching everything with excited eyes, sipping on Coca Cola from a glass with her purple lipstick print.

You made it. You’re okay.

Tags: @otherthingsinhead @aeryntheofficial @maryan028 @readsalot73 @osric-the-l3m0n-l0v3-demon @capsironunderoos @antclottz @intense-sneezing

A/N: I feel like I should apologize as this has turned into more of myself practicing/finding my writing style than an actual Star Wars tale. I promise in the next chapter or 2, everything changes....👀 Stark and Wilhemina are based off of Rock Hudson and Dorothy Malone. I hope you enjoyed. Happy holidays! Love, Zelda

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #mandalorian #mandalorian x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #baby yoda #star wars #star wars fanfiction #dyn jarren x reader

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embeanwrites · 4 years

Text

Finding Home Gavin Reed x Reader

Chapter 15

Masterlist

Connor had driven me home after we finished the movie and now, I was laying in bed looking at my phone. I decided to send Gavin a text before heading to bed.

How’s burning the midnight oil with Nines?

lame, i wish i was with my cats

Me too lol

how was dinner

Pretty good, we watched Into the Spider-Verse after. Connor had never seen it!

i haven’t either

You’re joking, right? Is this the Jameson and Ginger Ale thing again?

i barely have time for new movies, let alone old ones

We’re watching it ASAP

lol ok pipsqueak

hey i have bad news

Damn, you couldn’t secure a place for the Dead Mom Society to meet? Or is the bakery out of chocolate chip cookies?

no i have to work through lunch on monday

What are you going to have for lunch then?

idk a pb&j from the breakroom

Would it ruin your “working through lunch” if I brought you lunch and we eat it in the breakroom?

nines wont be too happy

Tell him it’s revenge for lying and setting us up!

ok ill work on him and let u know

Awesome! Good luck saving the city tonight, Batman!

ur the biggest nerd ive ever met

yet for some reason i like u

Awwwwww you like me

…hm

Yeah, yeah I like you too

I gotta go to bed, talk to you later

Sleep tight, pipsqueak

I smiled at the screen for a moment, even if that nickname was rude and had started as an insult, it was his thing for me now. I'm an adult woman. A nickname shouldn't make me feel this giddy, but here I am, grinning at a now black phone screen, thinking about how he only grins and never smiles and how handsome it is when half his face scrunches up to accommodate those grins. I wonder if he's grinning now, a small one at his desk, maybe into a cup of coffee to hide it while he returns to his case files. I hope he's grinning, feeling like a stupid teenager. I hope he likes me as much as I'm starting to like him. I fell asleep soon after, thinking of what I should bring him for lunch, trying to guess what would surprise him most without being too flashy, what I could do to make him grin for me again.

I woke up the next morning around 10 am, and laid in bed for a moment questioning how necessary it was for me to get out of this nice warm cocoon of blankets, with the sunlight streaming in gently just out of my eyes, and sighed loudly when I remembered that it was indeed necessary that I get out of bed, as Tina would be here to pick me up at 11:30. I kicked the covers off, grabbing my phone off the charger and moving to sit on the edge of the bed to check it before truly getting up. The first notification was a text from Gavin, sent around 5 a.m.

u can come on monday probs around 11 bring whatever im not picky

Will do, Batman!

I turned on a throwback playlist while I got ready, a quick shower where I debated too long over shaving my legs before I actually did so, thinking about how Tina might have me try on a suit or dress for the wedding. I hadn't decided what I wanted to go for yet, hence the indecisiveness with the razor. Eventually I bit the bullet and just took the extra five minutes to shave just to the tops of my knees, not bothering with my thighs as I highly doubted I'd be wearing a mini dress to a formal event, though it might be fun to see how Gavin would react to more revealing clothes. I filed the thought away while I got out of the shower, toweling off and tying the towel around my hair and brushing my teeth. By the time I had thrown on a pair of well loved jeans and a plain tee, Tina was calling me, I answered and before I could even put the phone to my ear, I could hear music blaring in the background, and then Tina screamed "HERE BITCH!" and promptly hung up. I pocketed the phone, and hurried looking for my Birkenstocks, of course they weren't by the door, they were in front of the fridge, where I had stopped last night upon arriving home to grab some food before heading to bed. I slid the sandals on, stopping for a moment to grab two packets of the applesauce squeezies for a quick breakfast.

By the time I got to the car, Tina was listening to a different song, but the volume was the same, I'm sure my poor neighbors who were trying to sleep in on a Sunday morning were not very pleased. I opened the door and slid in, Tina turned the volume down. What a shame, she had excellent taste in music, ‘Do I Wanna Know?’ by Arctic Monkeys isn't a song you just turn down!

"Took you long enough!" She laughed, a smile stretching across her face.

"Shut up I couldn't find my shoes!" I shouted, holding up my feet and wiggling my toes in the most comfortable pair of shoes ever made. She looked at my feet and raised her eyebrows, snorting.

"Jesus Christ I’m a lesbian and I still wouldn’t wear those ugly ass shoes, (Y/n)!” I gasped and smacked her arm.

“You’re disrespecting your culture!” I shouted, as the car silently started and began to pull out into the street, heading towards the dress store. Tina just giggled and I huffed.

“For that, I’m not giving you the applesauce I brought for you.” I tore open the packets, double fisting them and squeezing all their contents into my mouth. Tina howled with laughter

“What are you, fucking two years old! I cannot believe you!”

“You’re just jealous that you aren’t as stylish as me and now I’ve had a healthy breakfast which I assume you didn’t as you were at the station all night. I was going to be a good, kind, maid of honor and offer you sustenance but if you disrespect the birks, you disrespect me.” I joked, crossing my arms and looking out the windshield past her.

“Oh my god my maid of honor is two years old!!”

“Hey! That’s uncalled for, I’m not a toddler, if anything I’m like a seven year old, I make sense but just barely.” I joked. She laughed and nodded.

“Still can’t buy booze.”

“That’s why there are other best people who are of age who can.”

There was a natural pause in the conversation, the song changed and we both listened for a moment before Tina turned to me, a devilish grin on her face making me nervous.

“What?”

“So, I noticed something strange at work last night.”

“Yeah, what did you notice?” I laughed.

“A certain someone kept texting on their phone and smiling AND Nines wasn’t giving them a hard time for being on their phone.” She smirked. “I thought the date went bad?”

“How do you even know it was me, future Detective Chen?”

“Well, I may have glanced over his shoulder at some point and saw your name.” I laughed.

“Tina! I was going to tell you. You didn’t have to spy on Gavin!” She laughed.

“It was the heat of the moment. I promise the next time I spy on him I won’t tell you.” I shoved her shoulder and we both laughed.

“Man, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” The automatic car pulled into the bridal shop and we both squealed, jumping out of the car and practically running inside.

"I win." Tina said smugly as she crossed the threshold of the store before me.

"Hey who's the kid now!"

Time went by fast in the shop, the consultants immediately brought us back to a sitting area, offering us complimentary champagne that we happily took. Our consultant, a happy-go-lucky android named Lance, brought out a selection of pantsuits for Tina to try, and offered excellent counsel on all of Tina's concerns. She wanted something elegant and more masculine. She tried a couple things before deciding pinstripe made her feel like a mobster and that white was definitely not her color. Lance was always smiling and laughing with them, not minding at all when they laughed at one of the options or didn't like what he had brought for her. He was very efficient in bringing options, and after three 'no's' he brought out a selection of black jackets and pants, assisting her in a pair of slim fit high waisted slacks with a center vertical pleat to help her look taller, a simple white dress shirt with a short popped collar, and a sleek black satin jacket, with a black lining. The fabric shone nicely in the light, a little bit of a sparkle in the thread. She looked gorgeous, and I could tell she felt it too, the way her eyes shone a bit, and her cheeks flushed, though she would probably blame that on the champagne if I brought it up later.

“You should try on some bridesmaids’ dresses. I’ve got my suit and now I want to judge others!” Tina plopped down on the couch next to me and took my champagne from me.

"You haven't even decided on the style you want! Are you matching both bridal parties? Doesn't Valerie have a say in it then!" I squawked, reaching for the champagne flute she'd stolen from me.

"We actually have talked about it, and we decided that as long as everyone has blush pink or yellow in their outfit, whatever style they want is best. It eliminates the drama and keeps our wedding day happy." Tina said, tipping her head back and downing my champagne in one big gulp. I smacked her arm.

"Ah, I'd be happy to help you find a dress Miss. (L/N)." Lance offered, moving to sit next to me and offered out his hand, images of dresses popping up on his hand.

"What are you thinking Miss (L/N)? Would you prefer the blush tone or yellow?" Lance asked, looking at my face instead of his hand.

"Ah, blush please." I requested.

"Not a problem, it's a popular color so we have a lot of options. Now, what style cut do you like?" I looked at him like a fish out of water.

"I'm not sure, what do you think would look best, Lance?" He smiled, before pulling up a couple of images on his hand and explaining the styles and what design choices would flatter my features. I nodded, and he guided me back to the dressing room.

"I'm going to run and grab some of the options we discussed Miss. (L/N)." He told me, before shutting the door. He knocked when he returned about five minutes later, hanging six dresses on the wall for me. "When you're ready, join us in the showing room, and we can adjust the fit and see what the bride thinks." He told me. I shouted 'Thanks!' through the door before turning to decide which dress I wanted to try first.

“Wow.” I murmured looking at myself in the mirror. From the tag on the dress I learned it’s a ‘long chiffon dress with halter neckline.’ I didn’t really understand what any of those words meant, but this dress was…amazing. It made me feel like a goddamn princess.

“What’s taking so long!” I heard Tina shout.

“Give me a minute, you drunk!” I walked out of the dressing room, towards where Tina was sitting.

“Holy shit.” I laughed and spun around.

“It’s pretty good, right?” She got up and walked towards me.

“You’re getting this one. No question. I’m not letting you leave without it!”

“Are you sure? I can try a light-yellow dress if you want.”

“No, this one is perfect.” She smashed her cheek on mine and we both looked at ourselves in the mirror. I was smiling so wide my face was starting to hurt. She quickly grabbed her phone and snapped a picture of us, and I laughed.

“Tina!”

“What! I want to remember this moment.” She kissed my cheek. “I can’t wait to come back here with you when Gavin proposes.” She teased, causing you to laugh.

“We’ve gone on one date! How much champagne have you had?” She shook her head.

“Just three glasses, I’m drunk on happiness! Come on, change back and buy that dress!” I laughed and walked back to the changing room. I picked up my phone and saw Tina had sent me the picture already. Smiling, I sent the picture to my dad.

Got my dress for the wedding!

Beautiful kiddo!

#gavin reed x reader #gavin reed #detroit become human #tina chen #dbh #hank anderson #x reader

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itskateak · 4 years

Text

(Preface: this is a really long post as I typed it as I was watching the movie so this is unedited, pure thoughts as I was watching this movie.)

I just started watching the new Cats movie and I’m already having issues with what’s going on

Why did Munk spider man his way down a wall

What’s wrong with Misto

Why don’t they just crawl on their knees Jesus Christ if they weren’t on their toes it would be better

“Are you mean like a minx” that’s not in pitch

ThatS NOT HOW JUMPING WORKS

The choreography is going good though- I knew it would. I’ve worked with that choreographer before.

WHY IS THIS NOW A POP REMIX

I have so many questions

Music is too fast. Tempos are everywhere.

Singing isn’t too bad. I can understand the words better.

Munk is a little too feminine for my taste at the moment but I like his design.

ROMANTICAL CATS (heart hands) IS THE MOST ON BRAND MISTO THING YET

Macavity speaking and singing his own song is disgusting

WHY DO THEY HAVE HUMAN TOES AND FINGERS

Why is everyone bullying Misto

AND HUMAN NOSES

Munk there’s a rhythm to the Naming of Cats. You can’t go off it whole everyone else is on it.

You guys can’t keep a tempo can you

HIS name. HIS.

Munk that’s a little sexual. NO YOU ARE WITH DEMETER STOP

stop cutting the scene up. Just let them dance.

AH REFERENCE TO ORIGINAL CHOREO. I SAW THAT

Misto is on brand except he’s not Misto yet storytellers

Also I’m liking the idea that Victoria is new to everything and the plot is they’re introducing her to the wild and the whole heaviside layer thing

THATS NOT THE MELODY MUNK STOP

they have human eyebrows too what

Munk that note is too high for you

Is Jenny twerking excuse me

JennY IS SUPPOSED TO BE MOTHERLY STOP THAT

that’s also not the melody

The human mice are going to cause nightmares

Wait is Jenny lusting after Munk

Why does he actually look interested

Munk do you have an English accent or American. Please decide.

Jenny that’s not the right notes

HUMAN ROACHES NO

WHY DO THEH HAVE HUMAN FACES

The skiN UNZIPPED OH NO

no one needed that undershot of cockroach crotches

Mm meow

huh what Tugger what was that

Okay Derulo is not bad at all

I’m missing the Tugoffolees banter though

This Tugger is a little gayer than the original

THE NEUTER JOKE OH MY GOD

Tugger is reminding me of Dr. Frank N Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show

Why does he have an English accent though

VictoriaaaaAAAAA? (The TOES)

Jenny’s humor is eh. Don’t see the reason of putting that in.

The ending is pure Tugger though

Not a bad rendition

Grizz isn’t as rough as I imagined her looking

Oh her VOICE

HER VOICE HITS HARD

Who is this cat singing about Grizz (the first) her voice was nice

NO. WHY THE SHORTNESS ON “that”

Munk why did you grab that queen’s head

Edward Hyde is that you?

Jenny stop trying to be the comedy relief you’re too awful at it

Bustopher please STOP singing your own song

PLEASE KIDNAP HER IDRIS ELBA

THANK YOU

I wish they spent more time dancing since that’s really the point of the show and the draw to it.

Bustopher wearing heels? I’m for it. Gay legend.

“Thanks Tugger” stop this whole sequence please

Bustopher is supposed to be a very prim and proper cat. What happened to him

Still can’t get over Idris Elba being in this

THATS NOT THE MELODY OF MUNGOJERRIE AND RUMPLETEAZER

What have thEY DONE TO THE MELODY GOOD GOD

AND THE RHYTHM THEY DESTROYED THE SONG

Oh. Hey that’s pretty neat choreo though

“I bought that for her myself” “hey” “what?”

My brain is rebelling because it’s not right at all in anything I remember

Did Misto just pull a whole femur from his hat

STOP THAT. MISTO LOOKS LIKE A CLOSETED TWINK STUCK IN A STRAIGHT RELATIONSHIP

is he wearing eyeliner

GROWLTIGER IS BACK

I don’t actually know his song so this is new to me

Jenny and Bustopher being comedic relief hurts because they’re not funny

Munk “where have you been?!” Is there a love triangle happening. What happened to Demeter

Also his voice in Deuteronomy is actually really nice

“Sits in the suuun” that was beautiful oh god

Deut looks more like how I imagined Grizz would look

IS THAT DAME JUDI DENCH

I bet she regrets ever saying yes after this.

What cat is randomly wearing a crow skull around their neck. Is that a witch’s cat

JUDI DENCH CAN’T YOU ACTUALLY SING? WHY ARE YOU STRUGGLING

Why are you singing Munk’s line

Oh the Jellicle ball is next let’s go Andy show me that awesome choreo

Asparagus are you okay

Tempo doesn’t exist in this movie does it

Neither does rhythm or time keeping

IS THAT MY BOY SKIMBLESHANKS

Twirly boy Munk

Munk really just wants to be topped doesn’t he

WhAT WAS THAT TWITCHING AND THE PANTING

Andy I love you man but the traditional and classic choreo would’ve worked just as fine

Skimble and Munk being gay

what happened to Plato and why is there something going on with Misto

TUGGER YOU HAD A MOMENT YOU COULD HAVE INTERRUPTED

Ah okay I understand why that happened. No mating dance or slumber party

Cats wearing shoes disgusts me more than the toes

POINTE WITHOUT POINTE SHOESSSS GROSS

honestly? Jellicle ball is disappointing. They just cut the ten minutes of amazing dancing down to like four.

I don’t like the heavy breathing. That’s not something that was ever necessary.

Okay, the end worked okay with the big synchronized dances.

I’m ready for this Memory rendition. Already getting chills.

Those are very human hands

Oh keep with the rhythm I beg of you

Ooh altered verse

Wait that’s jennifer Hudson???

Oh we just removed a whole verse, bridge, and chorus didn’t we.

Sweet moment? See I like Vic reaching for Grizz

Vic gets a song??? Ooh intrigued

I like her voice

I’m going to cry this song is sad and I’m glad she gets a story

Though it’s kind of “you think your life is hard? Mine’s worse” feeling after Memory

Awww I’m gonna cry what a sweetheart what a lovely dear protect her

Ugh meaning of happiness. I hate this song no matter who sings it.

Wait what happened to Rumpus Cat song :( the battle of the pekes and the pollicles

What do you mean you’re about to make the choice

We still have Gus’s song, Misto’s song, and Skimble’s song.

They got Ian McKellen to do this?? How much was he paid

“Cross paws” no stop

Why is Gus singing his own song please don’t

Munk’s face bugs me for some reason

His song always makes me cry for some reason but this is kind of goofy and cute and I love it

Misto in the background is just strange for me

Is he forgetting the words sometimes and mumbling to fill in because goodness

Misto’s so eager to please what a bottom

“Macavityyy” I hate it

Munk starting Skimble’s song has the same energy as Tugger doing Misto’s songs

I’m glad they’ve kept this song the same as it was

Skimble is SO gay oh my god what a classic twink

Oooh I like this addition of the train getting started via tap

I’m actually really liking this rendition and the tap dancing on the the rails

Though the tap continuing when no one is tapping or the rhythm being wrong is uh not good

Such an iconic song and I love the changes in scene

Oh skimble that note was not good

WAIT OKAY THAT WAS MACAVITY’S DOING WITH THE LEVITATION

Oh hi Taylor Swift

Use more breath. Stop doing the pop voice thing. Stop it.

Is Bombi a drug dealer

MISTO BEING TWEAKED ON DRUGS IS THE FUNNIEST GODDAMN THING IVE EVER SEEN IN THIS LIFE

I can say though that what they’ve done to the song is exactly the vibes it needed. Sultry and pushing the boundaries.

Sad there’s not a Demeter.

SORRY MUNK WHAT WAS THAT

I actually rewinded to see what happened there with the martini glass

OKAY MAN NEEDS TO BE TOPPED OH MY GOD

“Green house glass is broken” was changed and that makes me sad

This was a good song for Taylor to show off her vocal prowess but she just didn’t

Why is Macavity naked

Why is he singing his own damn song

PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON

Munk you’re still tweaking out a little

Oh here’s the sleeping orgy

What’s with this drama now with the choice thing

We don’t have Munk’s fight with Macavity. Robbed

VICTORIA YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO GET MISTO OUT THERE. IT HAS TO BE TUGGER

If there are no 23 spins, I’ll throw my phone

Munk that’s gay and I’m here for it. Encourage your twink Misto

“Please don’t make me do this” has phantom vibes

Munk that was a lusty look

Where’s the “ooh ahs”

This is weird without Tugger singing it and being an ego for Misto

Tugger come on. Please save this number.

Victoria I swear to god I will beat you

Why do they have one person on the melody in this. And Derulo going through the stratosphere

WHERE IS THE DANCING >:(

That trombone is playing absolutely nothing in the music at all

DON’T YOU DARE KISS HER

oh here’s the fight music

WHY DID WE UNZIP SKIN AGAIN

oh they used the fight music for the escaping of cats

How much longer is there

Oh there’s the daylight reprise thing

I want to die

To the sun, Vic. To the sun.

Munk, Tugger, be respectful. That’s your mother.

Wait that doesn’t work in this universe because Deut is female.

Oh they gave the Asian cat patterns that resemble tiger stripes hmmmm

Why couldn’t they have just filmed an actual stage version and turned that out

Oh that “smile at the old days” was god awful

How much longer oh god

I’m tired man. I wasted 6 bucks on this

Victoria just stealing Jemima’s parts

“Like a flowER as the dawn is breaking”

Okay here it is

OH COME THROUGH QUEEN. WHOLE FILM IS WORTH THIS CLIMAX

Okay so there are some cats wearing clothes and others not. What are the rules for this universe. Are they naked or are they not.

I have not shed a single tear. Usually I have by now from this show. Not a single tear.

Deut X Grizz is still my favorite ship

Is that the intro to Til I Hear You Sing that I hear. Those F to Gm chords Lloyd Webber loves.

Judi Dench stop trying to sing for the love of god.

Ah yes show off that beautiful ballet dancer that plays Vic

Aww Munk bowing to Grizz

Oh so it’s a chandelier this time and not a tire

Where’d Macavity and Bombi go

Oh there he is. What a child. Hate that.

BUSTOPHER CONFIRMED A GAY ICON

Deut being a proud mother to Munk is cute with the hands on the shoulder

Why are we reprising the first song

Also Air balloon.

WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME JUDI DENCH

why are they all staring so intently at her too wait

Munk looks like someone is touching him inappropriately this whole scene.

Munk and Misto looking at each other

MUNK STOPPPP JESUS CHRIST DO YOU NEED TO BE REMOVED FROM THE SITUATION

The choreography doesn’t even match the beat of the song. Huh???

Misto you’re gay stop

Munk and Misto looking at each other and the shy glances away

So Grizz gets hot air balloned to death is that what I’m seeing

Oh it’s over okay

I want to cry.

It’s not as bad as I heard. Once you got used to the way things looked and just let things happen and say it might as well happen, it became a bit more enjoyable.

It’s still god awful though and let’s pray the furries never get ahold of it.

#katetalks #ren live blogs #shitpost #cats #cats 2019 #cats the musical #im so sorrh for sich a long post but thoughts man thoughts

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davidmann95 · 4 years

Text

Your power is mine: thoughts on Kingdom Hearts’ newest, oddest character

Finished Final Fantasy XV over the weekend. Mixed feelings to say the least, but it does give me an excuse to talk about Kingdom Hearts again, specifically this weirdo:

And how it feels like most of the people discussing Yozora and trying to figure out what his deal is are missing half the point. Yes, there’s the apparent connections to Sora and Riku, and there’s his meta association with Noctis and the entire real-life corporate backstory there intertwining with the in-game narrative to an unknown extent. But when he’s discussed as some kind of fusion of Sora and Riku, or a literal reincarnation of Noctis, or that Verum Rex might end up a real game, or something similarly straightforward in terms of “he’s going to be a very important central character going forward”, the ideas or at least the tone of how they’re presented seem to miss an absolutely critical component of how he was introduced to us, in a way that shapes not only him but by extension the entire future of the franchise and its thematic concerns:

We aren’t just supposed to be surprised he’s important because he’s real where we thought he wasn’t. We’re supposed to be surprised because he’s introduced to us as a self-evident gag character.

Not that we’re not supposed to take him seriously where it counts: it’s clear he has an important role going forward and is a force to be reckoned with. But no matter what deep, foreboding connections to the Keyblade and Master of Masters may lie within his backstory that may determine the fate of more universes than one, he will never not have had the hilariously inauspicious beginning of being a toy played by Rex the Dinosaur. He doesn’t even have the dignity of being introduced as a game on one of the plot-heavy original worlds! He’s a throwaway gimmick to spice up one of the filler Disney segments, literally a child’s plaything.

Even before we learn the context he’s being presented in...well, look at him. He’s like Riku, who’s cooler than Sora, and Noctis, a Final Fantasy character and therefore cooler than all this Disney stuff, but also he has a LASER SWORD and a CROSSBOW - that are clearly functioning as cool future tech instead of dopey magical powers - and his eyes are MYSTERIOUS MISMATCHING UNNATURAL COLORS and he fights GIANT ROBOTS with a dude in a fedora in a city straight out of the REAL WORLD to save a helpless lady/prize: truly, let no mistake be made, he is VERY, VERY SERIOUS INDEED, AND ALSO, RAD. TO THE MAX. He’s every attempt at reframing contemporary Final Fantasy as slick and modern and cool dialed up and up and up until the tone breaks, without the barest hint of self-awareness even as it advertises its action figure tie-ins. I don’t think that his little Keyblade pattern on his jacket being near-impossible to spot unless you’re looking for it is just to preserve the surprise, but also because the sight of the big keys with the Mickey Mouse logo on them would be anathema to his entire vibe, so important as it may be it must be squirreled away where it can’t make him look dumb. Heck, when Dylan Spouse announced on Twitter he was playing this major character in a childhood favorite franchise of his, surely knowing more than we do about Yozora, his description of the part was “I have lived out my edgy JRPG character fantasies...I even got to say ‘Sorry, but I don’t lose.’” We’re supposed to receive him off the bat as Square Enix, and more specifically Tetsuya Nomura, poking fun at themselves, going ‘yes, we suppose this is all getting to be a bit much, isn’t it?’

And then he enters the story for real.

Obviously he’s much more than a joke now, but the idea of him as something off, something that doesn’t fit in these games, endures. His episode isn’t just in a modern cityscape but skinned in the graphics of the grittier, more detailed style of the Pirates of the Caribbean world meant to evoke photorealism rather than the look of the rest of the game. He interferes with the gameplay in ways no other enemy does, stealing your items and weapons (we’ll get back to that). When he casts you into a void to be attacked by the mechs, it’s not a pure empty white but a mass of abstract polygonal space, evocative of the visuals of early game development. What details we do get of his backstory frame him as a counterpart to Sora on a parallel journey all his own, but the associations with his other source material in Noctis are considerably more...cutting. Credit to @kitsoa, whose own extensive musings on Kingdom Hearts’ increasingly overt metafictional concerns brought to my attention the obvious parallel: that Yozora being changed ‘beyond recognition’ with his heart replaced by another’s is a reasonable, albeit scathing description of Noctis’s revised character in the shift from the Nomura-helmed Final Fantasy Versus XIII to the largely overhauled Final Fantasy XV (and by the same token, the Nameless Star’s identity being stolen comes across as a shot at Versus XIII’s Stella Nox Fleuret being entirely replaced by Lady Lunafreya. Who, by sheer coincidence, would have been corrupted in planned but cancelled DLC into a monster of darkness).

While the comparisons to his source material are not only intentional but textually overt - his introduction as a real boy is literally scored to the FFXV theme music - so is the distancing from that material, given that if Nomura simply wanted to use Noctis the very premise of Kingdom Hearts as a series could have allowed him to use Noctis, and even change him to fit his original vision however he wished given the design and backstory changes to the other Final Fantasy characters involved. Yozora has a distinct role in which he’s still meant to represent that tone and aesthetic, and all signs point to that being because as that representation, he hardly seems an endorsement. He’s a parody, offered up in a demeaning context and tangled up narratively in real-life creative bitterness before being placed as an antagonist, however well-meaning (though keep in mind every secret boss of his kind before - other than Julius, I suppose - went on to become an endgame boss later on), in the player’s path. He may not be a villain, but all signs seem to indicate he’s a figure to be regarded as a contrast to the heroes.

And it’s in that role as a contrast that I have my own theories about what his deal ultimately is, thematically if not plotwise.

For those who saw this in the Kingdom Hearts tag and aren’t superhero fans, that’s Superdoomsday, introduced in Grant Morrison’s run on Action Comics about 8 years ago. One among many takes on an ‘evil Superman’ from a parallel universe, the twist with his world is that rather than a survivor of Krypton, he is literally the materialized concept of Superman - imagined by his reality’s Clark Kent, Lois Lane, and Jimmy Olsen, who created a machine which could bring ideas to life - that when sold to a corporation was reimagined in service of wide public appeal into an all-powerful, uncompromisingly brutal monstrosity clad in armor somewhere between an iPhone, 90s Rob Liefeld battle gear, and Nazi regalia, who ultimately journeyed into the multiverse to stalk and kill other incarnations of Superman, seeing them as competition to his domination of the ‘market’. “The curse...of Superman...” murmurs the dying Kent of that world, “...he becomes anything you want...him...to be...our world...wanted that...”

Yozora is...probably not exactly a 1:1 to that. But as a counterpart to Sora, it absolutely seems as if the main factor by which he contrasts him is that he’s ostensibly the sleeker, edgier model, new-and-improved. He reworks Sora’s story arc and aesthetic into something theoretically cooler and more palatable, steals his power, ‘saves’ him by sealing him away to presumably fight in his stead and thereby take his place as the lead. He is the protagonist so many feel Kingdom Hearts has needed for years, the somber AMV-ready Secret Movie tone and aesthetic stepping into center stage at last rather than maintaining a sunshiney Disney-esque child hero lead to anchor the assorted conspiracies and horrors of much of the rest of the tale. The manner in which he is presented as to make metatextuality an in-universe concern (to call back to Grant Morrison again, his next work after Action Comics was Multiversity, where a major plot point was that the events of parallel universes were unwittingly documented in each others’ pop culture; in that case comic books, in here video games) for Kingdom Hearts to explore in the next main entry is I believe so as to ask what, in fact, Kingdom Hearts as a series should be; is it a Disney series with some incidental Final Fantasy stuff in it? A Final Fantasy spinoff with some Disney elements cluttering it up that should maybe be discarded as it grows up? Something all its own? Is it time for Kingdom Hearts to get Serious? Even if the Kingdom Hearts as imagined by a marketing executive vision of Verum Rex isn’t what’s next, what is, as things get darker and that vision is now part of the narrative whether for good or ill?

So yeah it looks like Kingdom Hearts IV is Kingdom Hearts vs. its own Gritty Realworld! Urban Fantasy AU fanfiction for the soul of the series, and I am extremely here for it.

#Yozora #Kingdom Hearts #Sora #Final Fantasy XV #Final Fantasy Versus XIII #Final Fantasy #Kingdom Hearts IV #Grant Morrison #Analysis #Opinion

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riskeith · 3 years

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ooo! how was playing? what do you think about the event? i’m really enjoying it actually... always nice getting new daily things to do hehe.

yeah i think everyone knows The Cover now. i still can’t believe they did that... not complaining tho... oh really? you’re absolutely right and judging by the way they’re taking the story it seems like those two will have a lot more growth to their relationship. who knows maybe we’ll even get a part where bakugou apologizes or even talks about their past etc. one can only wish. YEAH i’ve seen both the movies and i love them!! they’re super fun and such a nice break from everything that happens in the anime sjskjssk kiribaku in the first one was so gay i.... we get it boys y’all in love fhjsjdjfk (THE SIDEWAYS TODOBAKU SMILE... one of my favorite moments ever) i am all caught up now.. waiting for s5... :(

no clue!! it’s just my theory so it might be wrong. the blue one was cute too so was the pink one.... they’re all cute why do we have to pick just one :( HEY you do know how to draw 😡 pretty amazingly too! but i’d love to see that in your style chongyun is so precious.. <3

omg i gotta hustle hard for AR 35 then i already miss him. i’m at 26 now and god.. it’s getting more and more difficult i can’t imagine how it is at like 45... 😭

oooooh!!! honestly barbara healing is godsent if you don’t get him you should consider it (hopefully you do though!!) IVE SEEN VIDEOS OF OCEANID AND HE LOOKS SO SCARY CLUNA.... no thoughts head empty only boy scouts party. looking at others with amazing parties: ok but do you have boy scouts party?

i mostly have sword users! but like i mentioned i’m starting to fall in love with book users (and even bow users) shskfhdkd so i might consider investing in those some day idk they just shoot of attacks and it’s so sexy. no hands dirty. ningguang seems so op 😭 plus geo is so nice!! like an all around element.

HE’S TALL? he has a short person voice...

i’m making a twitter i wanna see some fluff 😭 wait really? even this fandom is shit? why 😭 i sometimes see yt comments and the thing i’m iffy about is how people talk about spending money on it etc but is there more?

i’ve never heard anyone do that that’s so interesting!!!! do you write it down in the same doc and then delete it or do you write it separately?

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!! i’ve had so many ideas come to me before bed and i always think that i’m gonna remember them but i never do it makes me so upset. especially if it’s an idea of how to continue a story i’m stuck with... god it’s the worse. writer things 🤪

“stan loona” aka bane of my existence. i don’t usually tell ppl i used to stan because of that reason sksksj. god that was the worst sheesh. anyway. yelling at ALL of these!!! ofc i know daddy issues slowed!!!!!!!!! it’s like one of the most popular slowed songs we’re all just a sad horny bunch loving sexy vibes huh. i listen to slowed songs a lot when i write actually it sets the mood. it doesn’t even have to be anything racy sometimes it’s just calms you down. do you listen to music while you write? also i don’t listen to any of those you mentioned except troye 😭 i’m sorry 😭 but if you’re have recs i’d love to hear them ofc!!

“after school” time that’s so cute. it reminds me of when you’re younger and you run back home and eat a snack and watch cartoon (i say that as both of us still watch cartoons... yee) speaking of crying; would you consider yourself a crybaby? (such a random question hskshdjdfhhd)

before i leave; let me blow your mind with a little something... https://twitter.com/primo_fates/status/1347780975078506496?s=21

hehe... mwah. ;)

it was good!! i tried to get some ominous masks and weathered arrows, but drop rates are always shit lolll. and i think the event is alright! i don’t love it but yeah as you said it’s fun to have something more to do every day.

ikr omg... it’s such a good cover LMAO. omg a bakugou apology 😩😩. what did you think of deku vs kacchan part 2?? i regularly rewatch clips of it and cry LMAOOO god bakugou.. “why did i become the reason for all might’s end?” heart broken wow. NICE!! yeah i remember everyone freaking out over the kiribaku scenes in the first one and honestly,,,, how else do you explain it LMAO. (AND THAT SIDEWAYS SMILE!!! holy shit i watched the movie like the day after i got into todobaku and that scene obliterated me.... absolutely destroyed!) aw nice! but yeah now it’s just the waiting game i guess lol welcome to the club 🤪

IKR??? i saw the “once you pick one the others are gone” and i was just nooooooooooo whyyyy. you can’t give us all these options then don’t actually give us an option 😭 AHAHA thank u but i always joke that i can only draw well like once every 10 tries so... yeahhh we shall see! i have this thing envisioned in my mind but i am unable to execute it fskhfkdsjfs

yeah omg when i reached 45 i was like “wow i’m gonna have to do the ascension quest soon” but it’s taking me so long to reach ar 46??? yikes how am i meant to get the experience with no quests fkhdsfkjsd

i use barbara a lot in the fire domains and with the pyro regisvine!! it’s kinda funny that i’m bringing a level 40 into a level 70+ fight LOL but yeah she’s good! AND YEAHHH OCEANID LEGIT GIVES ME NIGHTMARES I JUST. as soon as i had an actual team that could beat it i grinded it as much as i could before my world level went up and it became impossible again.... but since mine might go up again soon maybe i should grind some more... and maybe i’ll be able to level up both xingqiu and barbara lol. EXACTLY!! can they pls interact in game somehow omg.. we need a bennett story!! and more razor!!!! and chongyun too!! i forgot he hasn’t actually appeared in game hfsdkjfds. and ofc xingqiu <3

fdfjlsjfs are you gonna go from a no long range team to an only long range team ahahah. and you like geo??? omg no... i hate it bc it’s so like. inert FHKDJFSD. but i guess the shields are really nice!

HE’S 172 CM!!!!! he has a baby face too so it’s pretty wild fhskdjds

ooo wdym how they talk about spending money? i don’t really look at youtube comments tbh lol. and i haven’t really seen people talk about spending money much on twitter? tho some content creators i follow open commissions for money for the gacha fhsdfksj. if you do end up joining genshintwt i hope you have fun!!

same doc and then i delete! but sometimes if the plan is really long i’ll make a new doc so i can see both at the same time (but recently i’ve just been opening the same doc again so i can see both that way lol). do your dotpoints go into the same doc as your writing one?

LMAOOO yeah i’m always like “hnghhh okay it’s fine.. i will Remember... trust myself” and then i never do and it’s just like welp goodbye to that amazing idea. but also bc it was thought up at such a weird time maybe it isn’t actually that good after all LOL

oh nice!! yeah slowed songs are soooo good. and i usually do listen to music! it’ll depend on what i’m writing bc i like the songs to have a similar vibe, but sometimes it’s too distracting so i put on lofi or something so there are no words ahaha. oh rippp LOL! hmm well badlands by halsey was my klance/voltron album writing soundtrack for a really long time.. i wrote a few fics with that in the background i think! melanie martinez’ k-12 album has a whole free movie to go with it! if you wanna check that out. bastille’s pompeii was really popular but i also really like flaws and of the night from them.. a lot of these are older bc i don’t listen to new stuff fhsdfkjds. and hmm pentatonix (they’re an acapella group!) do a lot of covers so maybe you can find one of a song you like and check them out that way? ahah that’s a lot feel free to not listen to any!! no stress at all lmao

oh fun fact melanie has a idk what to call it character? and song called ‘crybaby’! so very coincidental you asked. but yeah i think i am? LMAOOO like if i’m alone in my room watching something and it’s sad i Will Not hesitate to cry.. like sometimes you just gotta get it out you know? and sometimes maybe it’s a little boy singing a korean cover of colours of the wind but it’s so ethereal you just burst into tears but that’s fine! FHDSKJFHDSFKJS. how about you?

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD!! i legit. my jaw is dropped. i. oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭😭 FHSJFKHSKDJF1!!!! 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is so atmospheric and cosy and warm 😭😭😭 i can go at peace now.. fhskfhdsjf

thank you always!! - c.r. xoxo

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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