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uplatterme · 1 year

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Hidden Urges

cw: pre-memories!wanderer, sub!wanderer, dom!reader, gender-neutral terms and pronouns but reader has a cock, jacking off, hurt/comfort (my bad), overstimulation, crying, REALLY SOFT

a/n: probably one of the best fics ive ever written ngl. might write a part two with post-memories!wanderer if y’all want it.

———

You thought you had been daydreaming at first.

You stood outside the porch of your house and were met with a man who stood in the rain looking unbothered by the whole thing. He was just there, staring into nothingness despite some parts of his clothes getting wet by the second.

You bit your cheek, walking up to him and taking his wrist with your hand.

“Come in? I have supper ready.”

It took him a while to register but he eventually agreed with your persistence.

He introduced himself as a wanderer, he said, “I’ll be out when the rain stops.”

To which you replied, “Take as long as you need.”

You gave him some spare clothes which fit on him loosely as you hung the kimono to dry inside the house.

He was…a very pretty man.

You served him a bowl of porridge that he refused multiple times, saying that you should just eat it instead, that you need it more than him.

It sounded silly seeing as how thin the wanderer was.

“So, who are you really? Besides being a wanderer, I mean.”

Your question seemed to be something that he even himself couldn’t answer. He made that same face that he wore when he was in the rain, deep in thought, possibly contemplating everything that he had gone through.

After a few minutes, he opened his mouth to finally say something, only to be shut up with a spoonful of warm porridge inside his mouth.

You smiled, seeing him swallow the food even if you had to do it forcefully.

“How is it?” You asked.

“It’s good.” He answered, still stunned at how you had just spoonfed him.

“Yeah? Well, there’s more. Dig in.”

He reluctantly took the bowl in his hands, eating the food that you had generously given to him. You were so persuasive. He wondered if you realized that you had that effect on people.

You ate with him, telling stories of your own as you worried that you had scared him off from asking too much about himself.

A thought lingered in your head as you led him to a spare room before going back to your bedroom alone.

Why was it that he never shivered under the rain?

The rain didn’t let up for days. A storm had manifested instead, meaning any kind of travel would have to be suspended.

Wanderer felt that he was intruding so much already, he could go anytime he wanted to but leaving you alone didn’t seem right.

“Are you alright?” Your hand was on his forehead, checking his temperature.

You had somehow managed to sneak up on him again, he marveled at that fact, questioning whether if you purposely did it when he was busy thinking about something.

He tensed up when you removed your hand from his skin, eager to have more of your touch.

He cursed himself in his head. That had been happening a lot lately, a growing urge inside of him that didn’t want to leave and let go of you once the rain ended.

But that’s exactly why he needed to leave, he couldn’t get too attached.

He stayed in the spare room you had given him and each time he was alone, all these questions kept attacking his head.

Was he supposed to feel this way? Should a puppet such as him have these kinds of emotions?

The longer he stayed here, the longer he felt that he wished the rain wouldn’t stop.

Everything smelt like you. The blankets, the clothes, and eventually, even him.

He stared at the problem at the center of his legs. This too, had been bothering him.

It often happened when he thought about you, or whenever you touched him for too long.

He bit his lip, careful to not let any sound slip. Although these days, he wanted you to hear. To find him like this, all sensitive and spread out just to see your reaction.

Would you have shamed him and kicked him out of the house for this? Or, would you have praised him, telling him how much of a good job he was making?

His hand gripped his cock, imagining that it was you doing this to him. He sang your name softly, fingers now traveling to his tip, using the white liquid that had oozed out as a lubricant.

He continued pumping himself underneath the blankets, smelling your scent and bringing him into a high. His legs trembled with each stroke, knowing that he’ll make a mess once again on the bed that you’d kindly given to him.

“S-Sorry… I can’t help it—” He chanted apologies and came into his hand, his cum splattering to his thighs.

He needed to leave as soon as possible.

Unbeknownst to your guest, you too, were having a problem.

Your lip has been bruising with how many times you’ve been biting it.

You’re appreciative that you have a pretty temporary roommate like him, but he’d been driving you insane.

Like right now.

He’d been helping you out with dinners lately but with him being inexperienced, he tended to do things in a very questionable way.

For example, having cream splatter directly on his cheek while he whipped a batch. Or, bending his body against the counter to reach the spatula that’s on the other side instead of just asking for it.

It had your mind going through things that it shouldn’t. Such as imagining the said guest on top of you, taking you in as he tries his best to please you, asking you whether he’s doing it right. And worse, that’s probably the tamest thing you could think of right now, the others you’ve daydreamed about are ten times worse.

Has his shorts ever been that short?

You didn’t want to take advantage of him, seeing as he would do whatever you asked no matter how weird they may be.

You tried it once, asking him to fetch three blades of grass from the backyard and what do you know, he actually did it.

He seemed to think that he owed you, which isn’t really the case since you just wanted to help out.

What you wouldn’t give to see him gasping your name though.

“Hey, I never really asked this but would you like me to call you something?” You asked.

“Huh?”

“Ah, well. I understand not telling me your real name but uh, I’d like to call you something like a nickname.”

“It’s up to you. I’d be fine with anything you give.”

You bit your lip again. He’s so sweet!

That being said, you didn’t know what you should call him. Wanderer, huh? Honey is a bit too much, Darling is too domestic, Sweetie seemed like you were pampering him…

Why were these nicknames all sounding like pet names for a lover?

“You said anything, right?” You reconfirmed.

He nodded.

“How about Doll, then?”

He stilled, a deep breath leaving his mouth. He seemed agitated.

Did he not like it?

“I–Yes. That’s fine. Excuse me, I just have to get something in my room.”

He left before you could even apologize (for what?) or say a word.

That day, the rain stopped and you stopped seeing the wanderer ever since.

You tried to get it off your mind, spending time on your work or reading.

It didn’t help. He’d disappeared and if it weren’t for your bruised lips, you’d think the whole thing was a long dream that you’d just woken out of.

You laid your back on the doorframe of his room. It wasn’t a guest room anymore, it was his now. Even if he’d never come back.

Wanderer walked and walked, trying to distract himself from you.

The nickname hurt him and he didn’t know why. Was it because he was a puppet? He’d always been content with being one and if you had asked, he’d trusted you enough to the point that he’d tell you the truth.

Was there something he was forgetting? Something that he forgot which made him feel this hurt?

He stood outside of your house, his head leaning on the door, hand on the doorknob, when he heard a sultry voice talking.

Next, came the moaning and gasping. You were with someone else.

Get rid of them, they don’t deserve your touches. That should be for him, for his only.

His head ached.

He turned the knob slowly, walking towards your bedroom but stopped halfway through when he realized that you weren’t there.

You were in his room.

He sank to the floor, sitting there while he listened in.

“You seem aggressive.” The other voice said.

“Stop. Stop talking. Just lay there.” You replied.

“Really? How long is this going to last? All you’ve done is mark my neck and chest.”

Jealousy was all through his veins. Perhaps if he had never left, that could have been him in that bed instead of some random person.

He could hear you sigh disappointedly.

“You won’t even kiss me on the lips. You haven’t stripped out of your clothes and it’s been an hour! I know I shouldn’t complain since I’m getting paid here but come on.”

“God, could you shut up?!” You yelled angrily.

Your voice brought shivers to the puppet. You had never gotten mad at him no matter what. Not when he broke the dishes while washing them, not when he accidentally messed up a recipe, not when he spaced out and stopped listening to your stories.

“I didn’t mean it. Doll, I—”

Silence filled the entire house. Not a word from you or the other person. Not a single breath out of the wanderer.

“Shit, I keep—” You stuttered with your words.

“Can you just get out? Take the money with you.”

The person left without even noticing him to their left, in a hurry and understandably annoyed.

You didn’t think you’d get so desperate, hiring a person who could play his part.

You thought you could get through it, maybe a fuck was something you needed to get it out of your system. You knew it wouldn’t work but you eventually gave in to your desires.

A shadowy figure loomed into your vision.

“I told you to get out.”

“Are you alright?”

You brought your head up to see the wanderer looking at you with worry. Were you dreaming?

You stood up with shaking legs, running towards him to envelop him in a hug.

“You’re back.”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

You frowned at him, why was he apologizing?

“What? I should be the one saying sorry, I brought someone else home and called you something you didn’t like.”

“Yes, but I overreacted.” He replied.

“It did trigger you, didn’t it?”

He nodded, overwhelmed with your warmth due to being out for so long.

“Yes. But I… don’t know why.” He said with his eyes on the ground, troubled.

“I see. We’ll figure it out.” You reassured him.

“We?” He said, surprised.

“Yes.”

You crashed your lips onto his, something that you’d thought of more than you should. Your hands were on his back while you pressed his body against yours tightly.

The sudden act brought the puppet flustered to a whole new level.

“Can I ask something?” He said, gasping for air as he separated from you.

“Hm?”

“Can you mark me like what you did with that person earlier?”

“Anything for you, love.”

The wanderer felt as if there were tons of butterflies fluttering away in his stomach. Love?

Him? Really?

His face is pressed onto the pillows, his ass up for you, as your finger slips inside of his hole so smoothly that you’d think this isn’t the first time that he’s doing it with someone else.

He moaned loudly, fingers gripping the sheets and cum dripping onto them.

He still could feel the bruising on his chest all the way to his neck, there was more and deeper than what you did to your invited guest earlier, obviously wanting to prove to him that it’d never happen again, that it would only be him.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this. Each day with you drove me positively insane.” You told him.

He cried your name, feeling another finger penetrating his walls.

“M-Me too. I’ve thought about it a bunch of times.”

You hummed pleased, removing the fingers that let out a whine from his throat.

You flipped him over, wanting to see his perfect face, and spread his thighs away from each other.

“Can you show me? Can you show me what you do while you think about it?”

He nodded, red coloring his cheeks.

He took his right hand and started from the base of his cock, stroking it but not all the way through, leaving his own tip unsatisfied. The whole scene already had him trembling, he wanted to look away from your eyes but at the same time, he was relishing from the attention.

“Hnn—Ah~” He breathed out your name, continuing to fuck himself with his hand.

“How many times have you done this?” You questioned.

It took him a while to answer, his head mostly focusing on only the pleasure and ignoring everything else.

“A-A lot. I clean the sheets before you wake up so you don’t notice.”

“Ah, such a good boy, aren’t you?”

He whimpered from the praise, a spray of his cum coming out hastily.

“That won’t do, though. I’m kicking you out of this room.” You said, giving his thigh a pinch, his cock twitching for release.

“You’re staying in my room now. If you want to jack off, you’ll be doing it in front of me just like this…Or, there’s always the other option.”

“W-What?”

“You could always ask me to help you out.”

He sobbed out a pathetic noise as he finally reached his orgasm. The bed sheets were already ruined and you haven’t even taken your clothes off yet.

His attention is brought back once he heard you unbuckle his belt.

“I’m gonna make you cum with my cock, the same number of times you orgasmed in here alone.”

“Okay.” He answered, awaiting what it would be like to finally have you inside of him.

Wanderer choked on his own breath when you first penetrated him, it was much different from your fingers. He felt so full of you, each time you thrust in and out of him had his toes curling from pleasure.

He continued whimpering, tears dripping down his cheeks while you held onto his slim waist, pumping him of your length.

His first orgasm from your cock is abrupt, too quick for even him to register it as you didn’t even stop, continuing to pound even deeper and rougher. His cock limped as it juiced out his cum.

It didn’t last long as with one specific hit to his prostate, Wanderer squeaked out an embarrassing noise, his cock hard once again.

“I’m going to ruin you, love.”

“Please do—Hah~”

His body felt lifeless, thighs too tired to even shake even if they wanted to. Your hands doing all the work, whether to switch his position, or make him face you as you fucked him just to see the faces that he would make, high on the pleasure.

Perhaps it was due to his anatomy that it wasn’t hurting, though he supposed that didn’t sound too bad either.

He blushed from his own thoughts, they had been bothering him since earlier. Where were these coming from?

“Do you need me to stop?” You asked him.

“No, keep going.”

His legs were in the air, carried by you, pushing even deeper into him despite that sounding impossible.

Wanderer teared up again feeling his next orgasm coming, he didn’t even know if he’d be able to cum, already milked out dry.

“Hnghh!” He whined out, proven wrong when you used your other hand, palming his tip.

He came for the last time, exhausted and empty as you pulled out.

“Should we take a bath together?”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to go there.” He panted, laughing at his situation.

He was covered with his own excretions and yet he looked just as lovely.

“Nonsense! I’ll carry you!”

“Alright then, love.” He returned the nickname, tugging at your heart and bringing you to a smile.

You two did spend more time in the bath than you expected though.

Oops.

#sub genshin #sub genshin impact #dom reader #dom!reader #sub!wanderer #sub wanderer #sub!scaramouche #sub scaramouche #scramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #plattered writings

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dreamii-yume · 1 year

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Hello! ♥︎

I am BACK with another underrated Japanese Yandere Audio Drama ASMR recommendation for y’all~! Because this is all I’ve been doing in my spare time, I have no goddamn excuses on why I haven’t been posting much 🤡 This, my friends, is the reason why I’m so damn inactive these days lol BUT HEY—Please don’t go 🥺 This one is a real fucking gem, Darlings—I don’t understand why it has so little views on Youtube because it has everything I wanted in my hornii. There’s the plot, the smut (It’s not very explicit as to a full-on fucking, because Youtube—Just a few lewd lip sounds, that’s all 🫣 But that’s all I needed to get the neurons working) and there’s kinda some angst in there(?)

Anyway, it’s an hour-long! 🧎‍♀️ I was so happy after I was done listening to it and kinda speechless ngl ☠️ I dug hard for this gem and I’m not about to gatekeep anyone from finding it and sharing the experience (dont ask how i stumbled upon this one though, you dont wanna know how much ive been scrolling on youtube to find this, my friends 🧎‍♀️)

youtube

It’s a Yandere Audio Drama that is simply titled “Nya-chan” 🫣 Ominously adorable title, but it’ll make sense as you listened to it. As always, it doesn’t have an english translation as of now which is extremely unfortunate because I think a lot of people would’ve appreciated this more if it does—BUT THAT’S WHY IM HERE EVERYONE 👀👋

So, if you don’t mind—Allow me to spoil you all with what happened with a “brief” summary of it all ♥︎ (EDIT : THIS IS A LIE IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR TWO HOURS) BUT I STILL WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO THIS ART PERSONALLY, the voice actor really did a great job with it 😭 check them out, seriously.

Warning : Implied Non-Con | Implied Dub-Con | Implied Stockholm Syndrome | NTR

Kinda got way too into “translating”/“explaining” this one scene by scene so—It’s very chaotic, so that might get annoying so just a heads up lol

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

The story starts off with You (The listener UwU) meeting your fiance’s little brother for the first time and because you want to be a good future Sister-in-Law, you wanted to spend time and bond with him by partaking in his hobbies. He’s an engineer of some kind, and it seems like he’s a talented cook as well because when he found out that you’re hungry, he made you some pasta 🧎‍♀️You praised him, but he says you’re overreacting cause it’s just pasta lol he’s clearly embarrassed—He sounded like wanted to say something else (Probably wanting to cook more for you if you want ✨👀👉👈) but his brother comes in and interrupted him.

Under his breath, he says “Why does he have to be here of all times” which makes me think that this may not be the first time he knew of us…Or he just—y’know got attached that quick. (It really wasn’t specified 😭 or I might’ve just missed it somewhere 🤡) But ANYWAY, THE NEXT DAY—

You both met again, and he’s surprised that see you and where you work at because it’s close to his (?) You pointed out his office clothes, and he thought you were making fun of him, but was pleasantly surprised to hear you say that he looks good in it and he thanks you for it. Flustered, he changes the subject and ask where your fiance may be because he couldn’t get hold of him lately—It seems like he’s working overtime and he feels kinda bad that you’re going to eat dinner alone, so he sighs and invites you over to his place so he can make you something. He’s a real tsundere at this point of the audio drama, which was very cute lol But he seems like he has a soft-spot for you, because once he saw how you really look like you want to try his cooking again, he caved in quick lmao

At his home, he sarcastically praises your appetite and was impressed by the fact that you’re able to act so close woth him, despite only meeting for the few times lmao we have no shame. Your only reason was because you see him as you’re own younger brother too, and he only hums and scolds you more lol Even though he sounds like he’s all annoyed with you, he still encourages you to still eat more and stop complaining ☠️ He says he can guarantee the taste but plating is not his strongest forte lol

Then, he suddenly asks if you’re gonna contact your fiance anytime soon about this and it seems like you didn’t plan to do that—In which he scolds you again and say that you should, because he (your fiance) might think it’s weird. Again, you told him it’s fine because you’re only hanging out with him like how a big sister would with her younger brother…Here, we can hear that hint of disappointment in his voice as he whispers to himself, “…So you don’t see me as a man then.”

Of course, you didn’t quite hear what he says and asks if he can repeat that, but he says it’s nothing and went back to pressure you to continue eating because the food is getting cold.

After a while, you finally finished eating and he praises you for it…Also teasing you for looking so happy about it too along the way. He scolds you about learning how to cook for yourself sometimes, because you sound like you know what good food tastes like lol You told him that—Yeah, maybe from now on, in which he commented that you sound like someone prolonging their diet for tomorrow ☠️ and that’s the kind of person who usually don’t succeed on what they planned ☠️ someone calm this man down jesus christ, i did not to be called out like that ☠️ You asked him if he could teach you instead, but he refuses because he said he was self-taught and can’t teach for shit, so he tells you to learn it by yourself. Damn bro.

Then, this is where he shifts the conversation towards you instead—He asks where you and his brother met, in which you replied with the Cat Café he often visits and Yandere-kun doesn’t seem surprised lol His brother often invites him there, but he always refuses because he’s not good with crowds—Though he likes cats…AGAIN WITH THE WHISPERING he says “…If only I went with him at that time.” “Maybe I could’ve met you earlier than him.” BOI 👏

You asked him what he’s whispering about, and he denies saying anything like he always does and asked you to continue your love story with his brother. It seems like you met his brother when he was at his clumsiest, accidentally scaring a cat, and the cat made a mess, so you got angry with him. Because of that, you both met a second time for him to help you clean up, and things escalated from there—

Idk, Yandere-kun keeps saying wow that sounds like something out a manga—All sounds like he’s impressed and shit but I have a feeling that he’s so annoyed somehow lmao He sounds dead inside ☠️ He says something about it all probably being a “miracle of love” lmao He sounds so insulting about it 🧎‍♀️

He asks why you fell in love with his brother, like what’s so good about him? And you answered “The way he seems so silly, but is actually very reliable” or something—and somehow, he knew and understood that it had to be that reason too because he, too, knew what his brother’s strongest point is…Though, he didn’t know that girls likes those kinds of men too. He proceeds to slander you for having simple tastes ☠️ lmao

The conversation then starts to shift towards himself as he slowly begins to reveal how he feels inferior compared to him—Since his brother seems to have everything, while he’s just there on the shadows. You took notice of this and assured him that, at the very least, he’s still very kind. He’s flustered, embarrassed, scratches his head as he appreciates you for saying that.

…But HOO BOI THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING—You then asked something about him, wondering if he, too, has someone he likes romantically. He was surprised to hear that actually, hesitates, but turns serious and says, “Yes…Yes, I do have one.”

“She’s very bright, kind, and a handful. She’s older than me, but so unreliable that I just can’t leave her alone.” He sounds incredibly embarrassed. “She eats the food I make with a big smile on her face…and it makes me really happy.”

But he suddenly sounds solemn. “…But that person is getting married next month, and I’m still in shock.” He laughs a little, but he sounds so sad 🥺 “I kept thinking, why is it not me? Maybe if I have met her earlier, maybe that could’ve been me by her side.”

“Why do I have to meet her when it’s all too late…? It’s really unfair.” 🥲

“But you know what’s worse?” He starts getting a little weird like he just fucking gave up on trying to hide his feelings lmao “The one that, that person is getting married to…is actually my own older brother. So, I don’t know what to do about that.”

OF COURSE, THAT SOUNDS SUS AF so, as an act of defending yourself against the awkwardness, you stood up from your seat and about to fuck off to oblivion, when he stops you like “Wait, hold up—Please, don’t leave 🥺” He admits that he was frustrated on the fact that people view you and your fiance as this sort of “fated couple”, and it makes him sick. It feels like his brother got something he wanted and once again, he lost. Yandere-kun admits that he doesn’t have that many friends, nor does he have a girlfriend himself, so it’s always his brother who gets all the attention. The expectation that was supposed to be his was given to his brother himself, so he hated how it’s happening again with you this time…and it feels like the universe is forcing him to give up on everything for his brother.

“…But why do you have to be so nice to me?“ It turns out he was actually trying to give up on pursuing you too, but it hurts because he doesn’t want to—Since you’re so nice to him, you spend time with him, and had praised him more than anyone has…But you only see him as a younger brother and not as a man. He felt like you asking if he has anyone he likes was the final straw, and he couldn’t help but laugh. He comments how insensitive you are 😭 Like having no self-awareness and all that shit man

But he knew that you were only trying to bond with him only because you want to have a good, healthy relationship with your soon-to-be Brother-in-Law…But that’s when he finally snaps and how that’s never gonna happen, “From the very first time we met, I’ve only seen you as a woman more than anyone else.” So, he will never see you as just Sister-in-Law, he loves you too much.

He was surprised himself to know how weak he actually is, because just thinking of you was this fucking painful and he’s pissed that he can’t even help himself…and embraces you, finally being able to touch you freely, and commenting on how nice you smell like.

“Hey…How do you think I can be freed from this pain?“ “How do you think am I supposed to give up on you?” Because he doesn’t want to give up on you, he wants you to fall in love with him as well and asks if that’s really such a bad thing.

Perhaps a little freaked out, you began to call your fiance’s name instinctively but he scolds you, “Please…don’t call anyone’s name but mine right now.” AND FUCKING SOFT KISSES YOU. He demands you to say his name, and when you hesitantly did—He’s on cloud-nine, asks you to repeat it again and again, and again as he KISSES YOU EVERYTIME.

“I can’t…I can’t take it anymore, come here.”

You obviously resists as he takes you somewhere, and he 😭 kinda politely asks you to stop struggling because he doesn’t want to be rough with you lmao He wants you to listen to him as he continues to force you to make-out with him (with slightly aggressive moaning, mind you ☠️) and keeps on obsessively (desperately) telling you that he loves you as if that shit was going to change anything lol but well—who knows 👀 foreshadowing, am i right Also he tells you that you shouldn’t hold your voice because he wants to ｈｅａｒyou loud and clear, so just keep on paying attention to him and he’ll make you feel good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

THEN THE AUDIO FADES BECAUSE YOUTUBE 🫠 But it’s assumed that whether it’s forcefully (which is VERY MUCH likely lol) or not, he manages to get his way with you through the night 🧎‍♀️Mfcker even has the audacity to ask for permission, but I don’t think he would’ve cared if you had said no lmao ☠️

The next day (?) comes, or maybe it’s still night idk it’s not really specified BUT AFTER SEGGSY SESSION, he asks if it hurt (BITCH)—He proceeded to apologize, like seriously apologized🧎‍♀️Even he didn’t know why he resorted to forcefully taking you, despite knowing that it’s wrong. But whenever he thinks about how you’re going to be his brother’s wife soon, all he sees is red…He keeps apologizing and says he really doesn’t mean it and understands if you won’t be able to forgive him anytime soon.

…Perhaps you were guilty about the fact that you unknowingly lead his feelings on by being close to him too, you apogized in which he denies immediately—Saying you didn’t do anything wrong, and that everything is on him.

To compensate, you suggested to just simply forget everything that happened until now—But Yandere-kun doesn’t quite agree with that solution. “…Am I supposed to just forget about something that made me so happy?” He says he can’t do that, but realizes that he was being selfish again and apologized as he begrudingly agreed to do just that. “I guess it’s better than you reporting me to the police.” He said, it’s the least that he can do.

“I’ll…I’ll forget about what happened…Definitely. But just for this moment, will you stay with me?” You somehow agreed, and he hugs you tight—Whispering yet another apology.

Some time later after what happened, I guess…Oh, and it’s getting closer to your wedding day PFFT He calls you through the phone, and he was surprised that you answered—He’s sorry for calling you, but he says his brother is at his place and has something he needed your help with, so he asks if you want to eat lunch with them…But he understands if you don’t want to, since it’ll be awkward with him there after what happened. But you agreed anyway, “Are you sure?” He asks, but says he’ll be waiting for you then eventually.

He welcomes you to his home, and it’s not really explained here—But you were surprised to see him, maybe because he looks horribly depressed 😭 He tells you to just go inside and sit your ass down lol You ask where your brother is and he says he went to the convenience store to buy something and he’ll be back soon (doubt) and AGAIN he apologizes for what happened between the two of you, which makes me think that he’s really reflecting on his actions and I’m just being a little bitch about it ☠️ He said he’s gotten better at controlling his feelings now, and swears to you that it won’t happen again (DOUBT)

You assured him, and he finally sounds happy omg He admits that he was sad the past few days because he thought you won’t be able to talk to him again—But seeing you right now, talking to him, and reassuring him made him so glad that he’s wrong 🥹 He’s very grateful and you jokingly tell him he sounds strange compared to before.

He kinda agrees with that and admits that he loved you too much before, and every time he remembers the things he says and did, it made him incredibly embarrassed lol Though he feels better now, since he doesn’t usually have this kind of gloomy personality, so he’s fine now 🙃

…He then suggests to play a game, while waiting for his brother to come back 🙃 A very simple, easy game 🙃 Just close your eyes, hold out both your arms, listen to what he’s saying, and focus which hand is holding yours—Left or right 🙃 Ｓｉｍｐｌｅ，　ｒｉｇｈｔ？ 🙃

If you win, he’ll congratulate you on your wedding—Buy you whatever present you want…”What if you win?” You asked🧎‍♀️And this mfcker just went “What? Don’t tell me you’re worried that I’m gonna make you do something weird or something?” He laughs and strictly told you to just close your eyes alreadg lol He keeps praising you like you’re a kid and assures you that he’s moved on 🙃 So you don’t have to worry anymore 🙃 That from now on, he’s going to be your little brother like you always wanted 🙃 and it’s not like he’ll be able to do anything weird when his brother can come home anytime lol

The amount of (doubt) I had was immaculate when listening to this for the first time, darlings—Can you tell ☠️ He says if he won…He’ll let you cook dinner next time, cause he’s sick of always being in-charge of the cooking and wants to try your cooking this time.

So, then the game begins…Or not lol He’s still preparing, and the first thing he does? Obviously—Gets as close as he possibly can towards your right ear because it’s “necessary” lmao This man ain’t slick ☠️ Obviously, you’re a bit uncomfortable with that, but he says that if you give up now before anything has even started, you won’t get a wedding present from him lol “Don’t worry, it only tickles at the start. You’ll get used to it soon.” AND THEN THE GAME ACTUALLY BEGINS LMAO ARE YOU READY???

Close your eyes, repeats the rules about your hands and he—He begins to fucking BLOW on your ears ☠️ This was fucking tingly af ngl, not something to listen to whilst the dead of the night because it’s actually relaxing af jesus christ…ANYWAY, HE’S SEDUCING YOU BTW.

He bites, sucks, and licks on your ear, encouraging your body temperature to go up and proceeds to ｇａｓｌｉｇｈｔ you into thinking that there’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong nor suggestive with what he’s doing, nu-uh 🫠🫠 It’s all part of the challenge of the game, he says and your ears are just sensitive lmao He commentates on what he’s doing too omg “My tongue is going deep inside your ear.” EAR PORN HITS DIFFERENT NOW, DOESNT IT ☠️

This sussy moment continues on for the next few minutes—But like, as it’s happening, you can hear some really…ominous sounds of something shuffling in the background like someone rummaging for something and like ??? Obviously you’re curious and FINALLY—He asks which hand is holding yours right now…You answered correctly, and he proudly tells you to open your eyes for a job well-done and BOOM.

You’ve been handcuffed 🤡

He cut off every sensory you could possibly have at that moment just to distract you from noticing what he was doing. “I tricked you? No, that was all part of the game.” You probably started raising your voice, but he shushes you—Telling you to shut up, because he’s going to make you feel good again ☠️ GETS ME EVERY TIME GODDAMN IT LMAO Ladies, remember that all men do is lie 😔 (sigh)

He sounds WAY different than who he was before, which makes me think that he was only acting weak, because he sounds assertive now as he drills lewd words right into your head. “Who’s in front of you right now? Say my name.” But you call for help, called your fiance’s name instead. He shushes you gently and corrects your mistake…but asks you again, “Who’s touching you right now? It’s me, isn’t it?”

Maybe you didn’t answer, to scared to say anything—So, he reassures you by instilling you with his own twisted logic : “Don’t worry too much about my brother.” He says, like the devil on your shoulder. “You haven’t been officially married yet, so it’s fine. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“You, me, or my brother. We’re not doing anything wrong.” He says, he sounds like he has a smile on his face as he continues to brainwash you into doing the wrong thing. “…So, say my name. Look at me and only me, because you’re the only one I can see.”

“Fall in love with me.”

“It’s fine. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Nothing at all.”

He kisses you a few more times, to give further validity with what he’s saying and at this point, I think you’re slowly giving up—Because there’s really nothing else you can do but accept it. He convinces you that his kisses feels good, and that you loved being kissed with tongue—and with your feeble, slowly-getting-fucked-out mind, you begin to agree with everything he says. So, he promises you that he can make you feel even better.

“I’ll always be with you.” He says, which had you confused—So, he states the obvious, “Because I’m going to be with you forever.”

“Aren’t you happy that there’s someone in this world who loves you as much as I do?”

He suggest for the two of you to “Do it” again—Your losing your focus, so he had successfully convinced you into saying that you want to do it too…He tells you that he’s happy that you’re thinking that way ♥︎

🫣🫣🫣

WE’RE ALMOST TO THE END GUYS PLEASE BEAR WITH ME, THIS IS AN HOUR-LONG AUDIO DRAMA BUT ITS SO GOOD.

After sexy time, the term “Nya-chan” has finally been addressed for the first time and it seems like while y’all we’re fucking, he was calling you that all this time. He wonders why he was calling you that too—But he guessed that it’s because he had always seen you as a little selfish-bratty cat whenever you’re eating the food he makes, so he just ended up calling you “Nya” as a nickname…Nya as in the Meow in Cat

He likes it, it feels special because he’s the only one who can call you that—He repeats it over and over again and asks if he can call you that from now on. You agreed, so I guess that’s your name from now on, Darling ♥︎👋 Nya-chan 😺 He feels so happy calling you that, it’s so special to him that he begins to cry—He loves Nya too much🧎‍♀️

(My typing hand is dying)

The next day—Someone is calling him and tells you to stay put. It’s his workplace, it seems like they need him for something despite the fact that it’s his day-off lmao somethings never change huh 😭 He’ll still go, but then he notices that you’re now standing in front of the entrance door, and he asks you if you’re going somwhere…But you don’t you say anything, so he figured that you might’ve been too afraid to stay here all by yourself…He steps closer to you, apologized for not noticing your worries earlier—But like, “I was so happy when you told me that you’ll stay with me forever, so I just trusted that you won’t leave.”

“Sorry, have you come to hate me now?” He starts to get a little unhinged, like you triggered something in him, which quite frankly means—That he’s becoming scary again ☠️ “…Hey, did I do something wrong?”

“You’re not…trying to run away, are you?” He steps REALLY close, those footsteps sounds heavy and the little laugh on his voice—Like you just said something really ridiculous and shows that he’s a little pissed 🧎‍♀️Dear God… “Let’s have a little talk, shall we?“

And he slams you to the fucking wall.

“…That’s not it, right? You’re not trying to run away, right? You understand that, right?” He bombards you with questions that I don’t even think you’re answering because he’s already convincing himself that you won’t run away, because you love him, yknow? Why would you even think of something like that lol—Like the little delusional man he is ☠️ He says he’s sorry for being suspicious, he’s just worried for his little Nya and that’s on him. You never know what’s out there.

“I’m so, so goddamn worried that I might lose it once I imagine what will happen to you if you leave this room, Nya.” He’s sounding more and more deranged. “Hey, you’ll understand that, won’t you? WONT YOU?”

He kisses you once again to prove how much he loves and cares about you, but goddamn he’s as yandere as one can get because even I’m scared of how twisted this man’s bipolar-ass kind of love ☠️ He continues to tell you all the things he’s scared of happening when you get out, like when another weird man comes in to sweep you off by the feet and he doesn’t want that 😭 It’s like this man just completely erased the fact that you and his brother are engaged and would actually be getting married in a few days lol Guess that ain’t happening anytime soon now ☠️

“Nya wouldn’t want that to happen to you too, right?“ He baby-talks you, plays with your mind and using this kind of manipulative-guilt-tripping shit going on. He even goes threatning her by saying how even he won’t be able to touch her again if you’ve become tainted by others—And in turn, no one will. So, he scares you into understanding his forceful and terrifying logic…And he’s satisfied with what you become.

He apologizes for being rough before, for almost giving you a goddamn concussion lmao Because damn he’s well-aware that he’s losing his mind, and the fact that you’re the only saving grace he has, he will do his damn best to keep you by his side—Whatever means necessary.

Another time-skip has passed—The next day came and he whispers good morning to you as you’re still chained down on the bed. He apologizes for it being tight (your wrists are probably fucked ngl) so, he’ll loosen them up a little but make sure you don’t run away, okay 👁👁 He’ll be looking at you through the camera (!?) so don’t do anything sus, okay 🧎‍♀️ sorry i love this voice drama so much

Then, someone rang the doorbell—So, Yandere-kun very gently (INTIMIDATINGLY) tells you to not be too loud as he went to go see who it is…Has a few conversation about that person, acting like he’s a normal human-being there for a second and soon—He comes back to you and you asked who it was. He said it was no one important, just the landlord…looking for a lost cat.

“…I sure hope they find it soon.”

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

(SOBBING)

“BRIEF SUMMARY” MY ASS—Sorry, I had too much fun translating and commentating on this lmao ☠️☠️ ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. I’m sure there were a few error in this, but like—I wish I have the general knowledge down at least so that you could understand what happened 🤡 Apologies for that lol

Please listen to the actual audio drama, it’s free on youtube—I swear it’s a different experience with voice on. It changed my life fr だいきりASMR is a hidden diamond in the rough, why is no one talking about them 😩 I’m gonna go listen to more of their content, and I’ll share some with you all if I find something more interesting to translate and commentate on lol 👀 chaotically, if y’all are into that haha

Also, I love how someone can portrait a yandere like this—A yandere that doesn’t rely too much on violence and I love the fact that he’s not just the typical sadistic type of Yandere, yknow? 😭 Like he’s just some poor pathetic bastard who fell in love with the wrong person, at the wrong time—So, you can’t help but kinda feel bad for him ☠️ PEOPLE TAKE NOTES.

#yandere

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furymint · 5 months

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2023 Creator Reflection

ffxiv.

1. dance me to the end of love

this one was fun! i always like merging a character's outfit with the bg so i liked doing that again. picking the colors for elliots outfit was also enjoyable. ive wanted to make smth w that cover for a while

2. shame was still the tyrant of his life

i only wrote two nol and eli things this year and neither of them are finished. the first was a continuation of a scene where nol kisses elliot against the blue stained glass in his room--i once posted it but then i deleted it bc it made me feel woozy for its allusions to sex. i wanted to rebuild it and take a shot at it now that im comfortable writing n reading sex, but i never got very far. theres actually lots of nice parts! i just like nols dumb angsting the best!

3. valentine

i really wanted to focus on nol's eye here, but also not make it too obvious lol. i used a ps filter like a schmuck but i wanted it to be darker without making it even more difficult to see, so i took away their bodies and limited the colors to make it what it is.

4. amateur cracksmen

the second nol n eli wip, which doesnt have many interesting lines rn, was a raffles-inspired story where eli drags nol as his valet to a rival artist's house and tries to steal back the brooch that he bought from an underground dealer feat. much babbling abt the state of societal responsibility that war is supposed to bring

ffxvi.

1. herz an herz dir

i wrote some reflections about this one already here. i honestly was very (distressed voice) cant believe im writing pure fanfic for the first time in over ten years and lacked a lot of direction when i started bc uhhhhh terence has 8 and a half mins of screen time. i tried to convince myself that it's not much different than me stealing brucemont for my own evil devices, but the unique perspective of seeing quite so much fan content def influenced my interpretation. i wanted their relationship to be much more imbalanced from the get-go initially--dion using his power unintentionally and terence barely passing a thought abt it until later bc he's just so accustomed to obeying--but i ended up giving terence a lot more sway & ammunition in their argument. the breakfast bed thing is also smth im rly fond of.

2. mund an mund

there's also additional meta for this one here. i made a silly doodle abt it also. dion kept picking fights here! it honestly turned out how i expected. when i first started this fic, i was gonna have dion start out right in oriflamme and meet ter and kihel there, but i booted them to northreach so i could have this stretch of conflict. i think it's like. Bad Pacing. technically. if i still believe the conflict introduced in the next chapter is the core one, that is. which i sorrrrta do. but i dont care bc i rly like the visual of kihel laying in dion's lap and getting to put a gun on the wall w ahmed.

3. eines atems

its been two months since the last chapter and this chapter is humiliatingly not written. i have all my scrambled notes and scenes that i jotted down in between the first two chapters, so i have a full direction, but it's been really difficult to write lately. ive been devoting all my time to trying to recoup my mental health and work on my teredio secret santa. ill start next year with this wip as a priority, so for now i only have the photoshop edit for it. kihel is holding terence's hand--it's his pov turn.

overall i didnt like this year very much. i didn't read, create, research or do a lot even though i tried to. i became really disconnected from all of my friends bc im too tired to stay for rp or hold online conversations. at this point, i dont play ffxiv at all except the few times i managed to rp a little. i moved into nanny's house and have my own space, but don't have the presence of mind to do anything about my pc, books, and so on, although i did make a lot of progress rewrapping my books w fresh wraps and some other things. my plans for next year are to reach out to a couple of my friends, build my pc, relearn + rebuild + relaunch my queer lit blog on open source code, survive school, and rediscover the productivity ive lost the past few years.

teredio has helped me a LOT to find community, inspiration, and art in my loneliest year yet. im very proud of my fic and grateful every day to the ppl who have reached out to me about liking it. even if im sorry about my productivity rate in comparison to how many extraordinary writers there are in the ship's fandom, i know i have to be easy on myself to relearn how to write, create a writing schedule that works for me, and stop punishing myself when i cant get the words out.

past reflections: 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

#ngl writing this out made me feel like #i reopened a lot of grief about my ability to work and create #and i need to walk away from it before i cry even more lol #thank u to my fc for still being the place #i love to visit when i wake up #even though all of us a struggling a lot #with life and ingame motivation #brianna babbles

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h0neywheat · 2 years

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i know i joke about how it took me a couple years combined with making two fleshed out characters who are transmasc to figure out i was transmasc. i know im the projection king but ive been doing a little introspection lately and wanted to write out my thoughts so hey feel free to read

wheatley I’m so sorry you got named as a joke years ago and it stuck for this long because whoops…

odds are, I treat wheats how i would treat my own past self if i had also figured out gender stuff in my early teens. congrats dude, you get a family that supports you 100% in regards to sexuality and gender also your needs are met they best they can be in regards to your autism. wheats exists in a world where any societal factor I had to repress in my teens, he is allowed to express without question. the people around him love him for who he is. his problems do not come from gender, sexuality, and neurotypical expectations…at least not directly. he still lives in a capitalistic society, but that’s not the point I’m getting at here. like if I was allowed to explore who I was more other than the rigid catholic upbringing I had and was not reprimanded and forced to mask and repress neurodivergent traits, wheats represents a sort of alternate timeline of myself.

yes so many factors are also different, but at this point I feel like he exists as a extension of my younger self, something that could have been if a lot of factors were different. so I treat him with a lot of kindness but also give him character development appropriate for someone who is 16 and still navigating the world (and also the plot of the story he is in) at that age. he isn’t perfect, he has flaws of his own, he still has to deal with growing up, making friends, and high school nonsense.

I love all of my kid ocs equality and each one gets their own sprinkles of self love through projection, but wheats is pretty special for this reason. he was the first step for a couple of my own self discoveries and creative processes so he has a special bread shaped place in my heart.

now matty…

hey, maybe making a taller, transmasc, recolor of yourself to roleplay as has consequences. look, if I had the option to slice my tits off for free and take a potion that makes me taller, gets rid of my hips, and deepens my voice over the span of 24 hours I fucking would. matty wasn’t just me getting the chance to play dnd for the first time and be a funny cursed pirate man once a week. no, I also got to try being a guy for a couple years before realizing that the transmasculine character i was rping was really comfy. from the very start he was someone everyone poked fun at because he really is just some guy in a wacky situation. all the teasing was out of fondness and funny enough, matty helped me realize I was masc. turns out I was also just some guy.

but this lucky son of a shit also has family that knows he’s a big gay trans idiot and isn’t all that neurotypical as well, and I get to be his voice lmao. I only talk mean about him because he’s just so easy to make fun of. I’m so easy to make fun of! but I do it out of love! out of fondness! he doesn’t deserve anything bad or horrible! just suffer the consequences of his actions. all the goofy stupid things that come to bite us both in the ass…I love that shit. I see my own flaws that I’ve learned from, project them onto mattheu and have him learn from them but through his own story.

matty is me if i lived without anxiety or shame of who I was coming into adulthood. more than just a gender presentation ideal, he’s a confidence role model in a way. he’s a pathetic wet cardboard box of a man, but he owns it.

there’s a whole lot more I could probably write but these two are characters are in a current wip and dnd campaign so, fear of spoilers if anyone ends up reading this bc I’m posting publicly

anyway, the middle of the venn diagram of wheats and matty is just me and i love it. love these two and how they helped me figure stuff out while also letting me flex my creative muscles. we’re all just a couple of guys

#☀️.txt #gender talk but make it about ocs #because it’s part of my own trans story I guess lmao #like if you read please

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yupyupppippi · 6 years

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ah geez. i made plans to do things today and i was excited but now I just wanna stay in bed where it’s warm and quiet

#stupid text post #if i hadnt made plans i coulda stayed in bed all day #i mean yea i wanna go out and do things! i love doing things #and its with someone i havent been hanging out with as much lately #but in the quiet warm safety of bed... im doing some thinking #and i feel like... i feel a lot. and i havent vented to anyone about most of it #only a few of the superficial things #i vent here by reblogging memes lmao but there are other things less... jokey #and i had another dream about one of them and it wasnt. i guess the worst dream ive had about it but it was still bad #and that gets me thinking about this OTHER thing thats kinda related #and another thing i got really close to venting about once but. its like i was tongue-tied and literally could not talk about it #bc of. idk a misplaced sense of shame? that goes to my core? that im trying to purge so i can at least vent and process it #but ive got all these other things to process and in the end its easier to just ignore it and go on living the way i have been #but im also (on top of it all) afraid that in keeping this all in and letting it build up and piling on new things #that one day it will just manifest itself in. the worst way #i dont know what that looks like #i dunno. there was one small dumb thing i latched onto the other dat #and i tried talking about it to my mom and i got the sense she was focusing on the wrong details #like maybe i wasnt explaining it well enough but i dunno #she just latched onto the wrong part of the issue and i was like ‘no! thats not the problem thats literally a non-issue here’#i didnt even care about that part. it was just a detail that was barely relevant #but i feel like if i talked about any of this other stuff she’d worry. or look at me weird. or latch onto the wrong details #and make me doubt myself even more #i guess im venting here lmao

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aliensunflower-fics · 3 years

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How to Exploit Kindness [A New Kind of Lila Salt Prompt]

[ Ive seen Lila and Class salt that goes a lot of different ways. In some Lilas a sad lonely girl who will do anything for friends and the class fall for her lies through a mixture of manipulation and Lila’s genuine sad lonely but real persona. In others Lila is insane and the class get basically sucked into her cult. And in others still, Lila slowly breaks the class down by preying on there insecurities, hidden jealousies ect. There are the versions where Lila just bribes the class with connections and the versions where Lila frames Marinette until no one believes her. But I wanted to write a new idea for people to use, one that I feel is a bit more realistic. One where Marinette’s classmates are more their more authentic kind selves but still get slowly pulled into Lila’s web and where Lila is just a bit more intelligent. ]

[ As usual with all my prompts feel free to borrow the idea to write for your own thing salt, sugar, cuteness angst ect just be sure to credit me for the idea so I can read it. ]

Lila was furious! This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! She was supposed to be everyone's friend! She was supposed to finally get a cute perfect boyfriend who would cherish her like she deserved! She was supposed to be HAPPY! But no, the pathetic beetle Ladybug and that goody two shoes Marinette kept ruining everything!

No… No that wasn’t quite true. As much as she wanted to blame her problems on those two it wasn’t entirely their faults. Honestly Lila wasn’t quite sure what had happened. Her lies had been working at first, they had gotten her praise and compliments and adoration and friendship! But now? Now they were all ignoring her, unimpressed by her celeb lies! She could not understand it! At first she’d been sure it was Marinette or Ladybug maybe even Adrien had turned on her! But when she’d probed for information she’d learned that none of them had blown the whistle. So what was it! Tomorrow… Tomorrow she will find out one way or another. She needed to get them back under her thumb somehow.

It was Chloe who gave Lila her answers. Chloe was the reason none of her classmates cared about her stories! Chloe was the idiot mayor's brat. And what a brat she was constantly wiggling her way into her mothers fashion shoots or had celebrities over at the hotel. Of course Lila’s classmates didn’t care about Lila’s celebrity connections because Chloe was always name dropping just as many people as herself. The only difference was Lila used fake modesty and shyness that made her ‘friends’ view her lies in less of a gloating light than Chloe’s haughty claims of celebrity meetings.

It was a damn shame, celebrity lies were her bread and butter, they were exciting got people to think you were important and they were hard to prove or disprove allowing Lila to easily get around the messy little detail of ‘proof’ if someone asked for pictures all she could say was that her mom didn't let her take any because she didn't want her precious daughter being targeted by crazy fans. And if someone asked her to use her celebrity connections? Well she could just turn on the water works and cry about them just being her friend for her connections. Thus her prey would be forced to be her ‘friend’ , always listening to her and doing things for her, unable to ask for anything in return. Then when her mother announced their next move Lila would tearfully say goodbye and leave all her suckers behind. But without the sway of her celebrity lies her system broke down. That was the problem with picking the school full of rich talented idiots she supposed.

Well with Chloe ruining her system she’d need a new one. Scrolling through her classmates' social media for a clue she sneered at their overly cheerful and cutesy posts. Always encouraging one another and posting encouraging puff pieces about this or that. Always acting like they were so nice. As Lila scrolled over a charity fundraiser event that Alya had retweeted from Milene a sudden thought crossed her mind. Her classmates were very ‘nice’ and annoyingly so. They were always butting into each other's business, always being SO concerned, always organizing events to help each other and appreciate each other and going to charity events.

In fact now that she thought about it the stories that had intrigued her ‘friends’ always had some sort of charity garbage attached. Saving Jagged’s kitten or raising money for some cause or other that always got her heaps of praise. Sure saying Clara whatshername stole her dance moves got attention but not in the same way saying she raised money for some green project. Was it really that simple? Sure her classmates all loved Marinette for her extreme generosity and kindness but was it REALLY that simple? She needed to check.

It was actually that easy. One simple little lie about how she pulled a blind old man out of danger when he was nearly run over and suddenly the class was bathing her in praise. And the ‘fact’ that the whole very real thing made her miss first period and sprain her ankle? Well that was just the cherry on top. Suddenly Max was offering her a copy of his notes and everyone was back to caring for her like she was a princess. The fact that Marinette looked like she was seething only for sweet naive Adrien to keep her mouth shut was just so perfect. She’d found her golden ticket. Her classmates were truly ‘good kind people’ and nothing could be exploited quite like kindness.

With this knowledge Lila would easily be able to destroy Marinette, sure she wouldn’t be able to do it quickly but slowly she would replace her, with every good deed she made up with every act of false modesty she would build a reputation greater than Marinette’s she would replace her and become there new ‘everyday ladybug’ and the best part was she wouldn’t have to say ANYTHING against Marinette. Not. A. Thing. No sweet righteous Marinette would eventually snap, sadly for her it would probably be too late with how much control Adrien had over her, so when it happened Marinette would look like the jealous crazy girl going after the girl that was kinder, sweeter, and better than herself. As for Adrien… Well she had a hard time believing it at first but he really was an idiot with a pretty face as long as she was careful as she built her new reputation he would genuinely believe that she was changing for the better and then he'd fall for her.

The best part was, her classmates were genuine. As she built her new good girl heart of gold persona they would genuinely come to love her, all the loyalty Marinette got to enjoy all the perks of being friends with such talented, kind, sweet people would become hers. Slowly no matter how Marinette struggled she would lose, eventually she’d have nothing left. Of course she’d need to be careful with her lies but that was easy. Bring the class to a charity here and there and tell them that she was the one who gave the idea for the charity to the actual organizer but didn't want any credit because she was just that kind and humble. If they tried to make her do actual work then she’d have a sudden accident that would require she sit down.

And then once she’d done more photoshoots with Adrien for Gabriel she’d ‘convince’ the man that a charity would make him look good and boost sales. She’d MAKE her lies true all while winning over her future father in law, and heck maybe she’d even pocket a little of the money, she could use a better wardrobe and the extra would be perfect to buy her ‘friends’ the occasional ice cream or presents. In between that she’d just lie about saving people or volunteering on weekends. Maybe even let it ‘slip’ how she was a temp hero for Ladybug . One of the sweetest parts was that between volunteering with Lila, there own activities and hanging out with Lila so she could ‘thank them for their hard work’ no one would be spending a second hanging out with sweet pink little Marinette, they'd abandon her without even realizing it because they’d be SO busy. Sadly this plan of hers would take a little more work then her others, but it would be worth it to become the queen bee of the class- NO the school! And when Marinette eventually slipped up and looked like the biggest jealous bully in the school. Well she’d have no choice but to leave the school with her tail in between her legs.

Victory was looking sweet and satisfying.

[ And where it goes from here is up to you. Lila can win, she can slowly convince the class and school that she's a model citizen and an everyday hero. She can sneakily maneuver the class to not spend time with Marinette slowly separating the girl from her friends. In this way Alya and the rest of them don't become evil salty versions of themselves who overnight hate Marinette and love Lila, but rather they are good naive people who got slowly separated and tricked by someone who wants to use their genuine talents and skills to make herself look better. Adrien who is already shown to be naive and wants to believe the best in people, can fall into Lila’s trap and become genuinely convinced that his high road method really worked and ‘reformed’ Lila into a better person. OR Lila can fail, she can claim to be the wrong temporary hero for ladybug, or she can pick the wrong charity to lie about, or get exposed any number of ways and the class can realize with horror that because they are kind but flawed people who are perhaps too trusting and gullible that they got pulled away from Marinette through subtle manipulation and so they can be redeemed because instead of turning into outright bullies they stayed the same kind people they always were but just got genuinely tricked which is something that can actually happen in real life. You can go heavy salt where Marinette does eventually leave the school or class heartbroken that her kind friends have fallen prey to a bad person Marinette cant find a way to expose. Or you can go clever salt where Marinette figures out Lila’s plan and fights her from the inside slowly exposing the cracks in her facade. Or you can go sugar and redemption where maybe just maybe Lila actually LIKES being nice to people and having real friends who dont care about her fake celeb connections, maybe she honestly redeems herself and even makes amends with Marinette. You can do genuinely anything with this idea and I hope to see this generate some new less *and suddenly everyone is evil* content for those that like salt and angst. ]

#my writing #ml salt #lila salt #lila salt prompt #now technically there isnt any actual class salt or adrien salt in here because its more of a prompt but to be safe il tag it anyway #adrien salt #class salt #ml salt prompt

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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hi quil. im here to talk about the inherent intimacy of letting down a metaphorical and or physical mask again in the context of ravioli, since weve never seen ruys face.

ive been thinking of him using the blur thing i forgot what it was called in english even within the neverseen facilities, and dropping it around alvar at one point

[disappears back into my minecraft bog]

that is very true. we don't know a lot about Ruy considering how much he's impacted the story (he's not huge, but he does affect things and is one of the few Neverseen members we know of)

I have to admit I didn't may much attention to all the ravioli posts when they were circulating (shipping isn't really my thing but I'm vaguely aware of it!) so I don't have a lot of knowledge on the perspectives and avenues explored when it comes to the two of them, so if i miss something that's why!

Not only have we never seen Ruy's face, but he's always got an addler on him. I don't think he's ever taken it off, which is why we don't have a description of him--and I certaintly don't think he would've taken it off when Keefe was part of the Neverseen. So if he were to take it off, it would be someone private, alone, and anyone who saw what he really looked like would be highly trusted. Trust comes alongside a lot of intimacy, so were he to remove the addler in Alvar's presence...that's a big thing.

Like yes it is a physical thing that he has on in order to protect his identity and keep people (and possibly even himself) from seeing what he looks like, identifying him. But!! I think there's more to it than just not wanting people to physically see him. His actions are irredeemable, so perhaps there's anger and shame wrapped up in that and he's trying to distance himself from the person he is, and the best way he can do that is making it so no one can see what he looks like. If he's irredeemable, there's no way back for him so there should be less consequence for people knowing his face and name, as it's not something he needs to preserve as tarnished as it already is. So something about it is keeping him hidden, is important enough to him that he needs to preserve it.

Maybe he wants to preserve his name, so by hiding his identity he's trying to save that little piece of himself he has left that hasn't become someone against the world, always bitter and angry, instead just him.

So taking off the addler, letting down that mask...that has so much behind it. Letting Alvar see who he truly is/was, the pieces of himself he's hidden from the world, ahhh! The intimacy behind it, the vulnerability, how completely bare he would be feel for the first time in years. He's worn that thing constantly for so long, and to let it down to let someone in...

Ravioli truly has a lot of potential in the avenue of intimacy and the core of a person, how intense their relationship could be emotionally.

[dissipates into silver mist as I'm swept away by the wind] hope you enjoy your minecraft bog!! I think you might've meant blog but it's too late. You're in a bog now <33

#ghakrfoiawef tag on my clothes gonna destroy a building #legit stopped halfway through this to change clothes because t a g #but!! aside from that!!#I haven't thought about ravioli like ever but!!#ruy's addler really adds a whole layer to any relationship #whether ravioli or otherwise #definitely something interesting to explore #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc ships #kotlc ravioli #local-cawcaw #quil's queries

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livebloggingmydescentintomadness · 3 years

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Ive been really upset lately and it makes me eat a lot and i hate it all the way but i cant stop, im punishing myself for being upset by eating too much and then i feel even worse..do you have any advice?

hey there, sweetie, it sounds to me like you might be dealing with binge eating disorder. check that link for my tag on the subject, where i've got some resources that you can look into. if you don't think it's exactly binge eating, here's an article on emotional overeating that might fit better.

and while most of the posts in my eating disorder tag are geared towards anorexia, i think it would still benefit you to read through it and try to absorb the information, because i'm guessing that even if you have "the opposite" disorder, there are lot of the same underlying problems regarding food and your body.

if you don't think the root problem here is food and your body (though that's probably a factor), i'd wager that a big part of it is that you simply don't know how to process your emotions. no one ever taught you how to confront your feelings and cope with them, so you use food to feel good when your emotions are making you feel bad. i know that feels really shameful, but it's extremely common, and the easy availability of cheap junk food in today's world makes it extremely difficult to avoid when that's one of your personal pitfalls.

in that vein, i'm going to direct you to my coping skills tag and mental illness resources tag, as well as my dbt tag. not every post there will meet your needs, but i think it will help to point you in the right direction of dealing with the root cause of the problem here, which may be learning to cope with your feelings in a functional way. that's hard, but it's a reasonable goal that you can work towards.

and again, i know it feels really shameful, but please consider reaching out to a therapist to work on this. emotional overeating is not only common, it's EXTRA common after this past year of global stress. i'm sure that therapists are dealing with huge numbers of people exactly like you right now. you absolutely cannot shock or disappoint a therapist. if you need some help on that, check out my therapy resources tag and going to therapy tag.

hopefully i've covered my bases here and something helps you out. good luck, sweetie. getting better is tough, and you'll have setbacks, but you can make progress. 🤟

#eating disorder #binge eating #eating disorder tw #anonymous #ask

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echoes-of-the-clockwork · 3 years

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Book One: Gold (Prompto x Reader) Chapter IV

When Prompto woke up the next morning, he opened his eyes with a small groan. Feeling a familiar warmth, he looked down to see (Y/n) curled up against him. He had one arm slung across her waist, unsure of when he first put it there. He peered into the sleeping girl's face before looking around the room. Noctis was still fast asleep while Ignis and Gladio were gone.

After checking once more to see if the prince was asleep, Prompto scooted closer towards (Y/n) and tightened his arm around her waist. He moved his other arm around to the back of her head, cradling it against his chest. Lowering his head, he pressed his lips against the top of her head. "(Y/n), I...I..."

The guardian inhaled deeply as her eyes fluttered open. "What is it, Prom?"

Prompto shrieked in surprise and quickly removed his arms. "N-Nothing..."

She sighed, pushing herself up into a sitting position. "You've been acting weird ever since yesterday. What's the deal?"

"Really, it's nothing!"

"Like I said, you're a bad liar..." She hopped off the bed. "Are you embarrassed from touching me? If so, I don't understand why because you've had no issues before. You scared the others are gonna catch you and tease you?"

"Maybe just a little," he mumbled.

"Well, how about we get a separate room then? That way, you can touch me all you like."

Prompto swallowed nervously, tugging at the collar of his shirt with his finger. "You make it sound so dirty, (Y/n)..."

"I'm not the one thinking dirty thoughts. Get your head out of the gutter."

"I-I am not thinking anything dirty!"

"Whatever you say, Prom," the girl giggled at him before stalking towards him. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and tilted his head upward before leaning down and pressing her lips against his forehead. "Consider this your good morning kiss since you gave me one."

His cerulean eyes widened. "You were awake?"

"It's what woke me up."

He stared into her eyes, enjoying her touch as her thumbs trailed across his cheeks. His fingers twitched, itching to touch her. However, he held himself back.

"Now then," (Y/n) removes her hands from his cheeks, causing him to groan in disappointment, "Let's do some exploring!" She grabbed his hand and yanked him off the bed, dragging him out of the hotel without disturbing Noctis.

Prompto and (Y/n) wandered the streets of Lestallum. Their first stop was the marketplace. They browsed the many wares, coming to a stop in front of a stall selling small chocobo charms. The marksman nearly stumbles over his own feet in his haste to take a closer look. Luckily, the girl caught him before he could fall.

He picked up the yellow chocobo charm and admired it. "This would totally look amazing with the bracelet."

She glanced at the charm he was holding. "It does match the gemstone. Why not buy it?"

Prompto was about to pull out some gil, but stopped himself. Even though he loved chocobos, he felt the purchase would be childish. "Nah, I should really spend my gil on something that's useful."

(Y/n) could read the blonde easily. He was an open book to her. "Oh, c'mon, Prom! Spoil yourself once in a while. Besides, it only cost 10 gil. It'll also add some flare to the bracelet."

"Mmm..." He analyzed the charm closer, feeling his resolve shaking. After contemplating for a few seconds, he gave in. "Okay, I'll buy it." He handed over ten gil to the merchant, earning a thanks from the man. He handed his camera over to the girl so he could put the new charm on his bracelet. Once it was securely in place, he smiled. "Ooh, I'm really diggin' it!"

The guardian elbowed him playfully in the side. "Told ya~!" She handed him back his camera. "Let's see what else this place has to offer."

Continuing to browse the market, they found many ingredients that would interest Ignis. They also found more souvenirs for sale, but none of them caught their eye.

(Y/n) and Prompto left the marketplace and wandered the streets before making their way to the outlook. There, the boy took many photos of the scenery while the spirit casted her gaze upward when hearing a voice from above. She couldn't make out what they were saying, deciding to ignore them.

Just then, a flash caught her attention. Her head snapped in the direction the flash came from and saw Prompto with his camera pointed at her. "Did you just take my picture?"

He lowered his camera. "Maybe..."

She huffed out a chuckle. "You should save your pictures for someone who's worthy."

"You are the most worthy and beautiful person of being photographed. It'd be a shame if I missed my opportunity to snap a pic of you. If I could, I'd post your picture everywhere!" Prompto smiled, but it quickly fell when he realized what he just said. It rolled off his tongue with ease without a single thought. He raised his camera and used it to hide his faint blush. "I-I mean...uh, well...eh..."

(Y/n) smiled kindly at him, combing a few (h/c) locks behind her ear. "You're too sweet, Prom. How'd I get so lucky?"

He lowered his gaze, smiling giddily. "I ask myself that question every day..."

All of a sudden, the boy's phone rang. He promptly picked up once seeing Ignis was calling him. When the call ended, he put his phone back into his pocket. "Welp, looks like Iggy wants us to return to the Leville. Ready to head back?"

"Yeah, let's-" The spirit fell silent when she heard the voice again. She looked back up at the sky and addressed him. "Actually, you go on ahead. I'll be there shortly."

Prompto looked up at the sky, but all he could see was how blue it was and the occasional white, fluffy cloud float by. "Oh, um...okay." He glanced at her worriedly before walking back to the hotel by his lonesome.

The second he walked into the lobby, he saw Noctis, Gladio, and Ignis chatting with Talcott and Jared. He asked what was going on and learned from the young boy about the sword behind the waterfall. The four decided to check out the tale and left the Leville.

Outside, Noctis turned to his best friend. "Where's (Y/n)?"

"At the outlook. She was supposed to be back by now," Prompto answered. He lifted his camera and admired the recent photo he took of the girl. Her beautiful golden eyes were casted to the sky with a tranquil expression on her face. He sighed sorrowfully, feeling as if he had no chance with her.

"What's with the gloomy look?" Gladio asked.

"Oh, nothing," the sharpshooter replied, wishing to avoid being teased mercilessly. He looked around at the many women who walked by. "H-Hey, what about the girls here? They're so cool and independent, like, "I don't need a man!""

Noctis glanced at him. "Sounds like you've heard that one a lot."

"C'mon, cut the little guy some slack. I'm sure somebody around here finds him attractive," Gladio said.

Prompto frantically looked around. "Well, then where are you?! Show yourself!" He spun around, coming face to face with the golden-eyed spirit. He screamed in surprise, jumping slightly. "(Y-Y/n)!"

"Does this mean she's the one?" Noctis asked.

"Maybe," Gladio shrugged his shoulders.

The (h/c)-haired girl smiled apologetically at them. "Sorry for being late. What's our next course of action?"

"Gonna check out to see if there's a royal arm nearby," Noctis said. "You taggin' along?"

"Of course! We ready to go?"

"Ready as we'll ever be. Let's go."

The group headed to the parking lot and climbed into the Regalia. (Y/n) was about to return to the gemstone when Prompto stopped her. He told her she could sit in the back between Noctis and Gladio. She looked toward the prince and his shield to make sure it was okay, and they both agreed. With everyone in the car, Ignis started the engine and drove out of Lestallum.

They traveled a little ways down the rode before pulling aside at Burbost Souvenir Emporium to hop out. They used a stairwell located a short distance down the road and wandered down the trail leading to the nearby river. At the water's edge, they spotted a midgardsormr slithering around. Noctis quietly led the group around the large creature, keeping close to the cliffside to avoid detection. However, the path ahead was littered with shieldshears.

"Oh, wow. I've never seen such large crabs before," (Y/n) commented.

"Think they'd taste good, Specs?" Noctis asked.

"What they have gained in size they will have lost in flavor," Ignis replied.

"Guess this means crab won't be on the menu tonight," Prompto commented.

Noctis went to summon his sword, but stopped when he noticed the shieldshears were already on fire. He stared in shock, watching the creatures keel over one by one as they burned. He patted his pockets and checked on his magic flasks. When one wasn't missing, he looked over at (Y/n). "Did you...?"

She smiled innocently. "I've no idea what you're talking about. Let's go!" She ran past the boys and up the pathway leading behind the waterfall.

Gladio looked at the dead carcasses of the shieldshears. "Damn. Little lady did a number on these things without touching them."

"Isn't she amazing?" Prompto sighed dreamily. "She's so badass!"

"Her abilities are fascinating," Ignis commented.

"Hey!" (Y/n) shouted from the path above. "Are you guys coming or what?"

"'Tis rude to keep a lady waiting," he stated.

"Be right there, (Y/n)!" Prompto shouted back.

The boys caught up with the spirit behind the waterfall. There, they discovered the entrance to greyshire glacial grotto. "Wouldn't you know it-an entrance!" Prompto spoke up.

"Looks like the legend checks out," Gladio said.

"So, what does this legend say?" (Y/n) asked.

"Apparently, there's supposed to be a sword behind the waterfall."

"And you believe it to be a royal arm?"

"Bingo," Noctis replied.

The group enter the cave. The first thing they noticed was how cold it was and everything was frozen. Prompto rubbed his arms up and down his exposed arms. "This place gives me goose bumps. Double back for our coats?"

"What's the point?" Gladio remarked.

"Well, looking on the bright side... Maybe the cold keeps the daemons at bay?"

"Yeah, because monsters like warmth."

"Ah. Sarcasm. Hmm... But what if they're frozen?"

"Encased in ice... Waiting for something warm to pass by..."

"And then they jump out!" Prompto's teeth then started chattering from the cold. When he walked closer to (Y/n), he noticed the temperature rose. "Oh, hey! It's pretty warm over here!" He walked ahead and stopped when the warmth vanished. "Aaand it's gone."

The guardian wondered if the blonde would put two and two together, but she sighed when he continued looking for the warm spot again. "Prom, you're gonna run into daemons if you keep wandering ahead."

"But the warmth!"

"Is radiating from (Y/n)," Ignis stated.

"Wait, really?" The marksman strolls back over to the girl. When he did, he felt the warmth pouring from her being. "It is!"

"You're tellin' me you never noticed before now?" Gladio questioned.

"Well, no... I mean, it's not like (Y/n) and I ever went somewhere this cold before. It's kinda nice. Makes me-" The spirit suddenly grabbed Prompto and pulled him back. Flans spawned where he once stood, blocking their path. He eyed the daemons, summoning his pistol. "And there's our warm welcome."

"Flans are resistant to physical attacks. Use elemental attacks to hurt them," the guardian stated. She held out her hand and created a throwing knife from pure flames. She tossed it at one of the daemons, inflicting heavy damage.

"Maybe you should handle this by yourself, (Y/n)," Noctis commented after witnessing her conjuring skills.

"Oh, I don't think so. You've got your own magic at your disposal. Use it."

Prompto snickered. "She gotcha there, buddy."

Gladio and Ignis, even though knowing physical attacks would do little to no damage, used their weapons to distract the flans. Noctis and (Y/n) teamed up while Prompto kept his distance and fired a few rounds.

When the daemons were dead, the group proceeded forward. They wandered through the frozen grotto a little ways before coming across an icy slope leading deeper into the cave. Prompto stands at the edge of the slope, peering down to see just how far it would take them. "Heading down a slippery slope... In slip-sliding shoes. What could possibly go wrong?"

"I'm sure we'll be fine," (Y/n) reassured him.

"Then ladies first."

"All right." She stepped on to the slope, keeping her balance as she slid down on her feet.

Prompto gasped. "W-Wait, (Y/n)! I was only kidding!" He quickly followed after her, slipping on his behind as his body slid down the slope. Noctis, Gladio, and Ignis followed after him.

The girl reached the bottom first, landing in the middle of a horde of imp daemons. She conjured a barrage of fireballs, targeting the daemons. Some imps were killed, but many others remained.

The boys reached the bottom and joined her in battle. Noctis summoned a javelin with an annoyed wail. "You things love deep pits. Let's get it over with."

The group fought against the remaining daemons, silencing each and every last one. Prompto dispelled his pistol when all the enemies were dead. "So much for a "little chill." I got an ice cream headache-without the ice cream!" He stepped closer to (Y/n) and held up his hands.

She eyed his gloved hands. "Am I a campfire to you?"

"No, but... I mean, you're the warmest thing down here and I'm freezing!"

"If we keep moving, you'll eventually get used to the cold. C'mon, Prom." She walked away from him, following after the rest of the boys.

"Aw..." He whined before promptly catching up with the others.

The five continued to trek through the frozen cave. They arrived at another icy slope and saw a side path a little ways down. Carefully, they proceeded onto the slope and slid to the side path. From there, they cross to the other side of the cave and crouch through an opening in the icy wall. They encountered another group of flans, which they easily disposed of.

Eventually, the group came across a narrow ledge. Noctis was the first to cross followed by Prompto, Ignis, (Y/n), and Gladio. Once safely on the other side, they noticed how the cave opened up. They were soon joined by an arachne daemon. It took no time at all for the five to get rid of the creature and head towards a ramp leading to a pathway above.

After taking down some more flans, Gladio dispelled his greatsword and looked around. "So, the glaive is through here?"

"Most likely," Noctis replied as he guided his companions to another narrow ledge.

"Let's see for ourselves," Ignis commented.

Like before, Noctis was the first to cross the narrow ledge. It wrapped around the side of the cave, leading to another path. Prompto, who was following right after the prince, shivered. "I'm freezing... What I wouldn't give for a hot bowl of soup. Mmm...soup. We're almost there... We gotta be. Right?!"

"Keep calm and try not to fall, Prom," (Y/n) advised.

After crossing the narrow ledge, they came across an area with an immense icy slope leading upward they couldn't reach. Located down the left path, they spotted a familiar stone door. "Hey! Knock, knock," Gladio grinned.

"We're there...finally," Ignis sighed.

Noctis went to approach the royal tomb, but he quickly backed away when a mindflayer materialized out of thin air and blocked the path. Alongside the medium-sized daemon was a pack of imps.

"Can't it ever be easy?" Gladio groaned, summoning his greatsword.

"Never." Noctis conjured his sword and leapt at the mindflayer.

"Where's the fun in that?" Ignis sarcastically replies, calling upon his own daggers and joining the fray.

Prompto used his pistol to attack from a safe distance. Whenever he was able to defeat a single imp, he shrieked when flans manifested right behind him. "These things are everywhere!"

(Y/n) placed distance between her, the boys, and the daemons. "This calls for a little fire." She transformed in her spiritual form and immediately pounced on the nearest daemon. Using her fire, she burned it to a crisp before setting her sights on another one. Seeing her presence had grabbed the attention of all the imps, she stepped back and inhaled deeply. Once creating a large flame in her throat, she exhaled and breathed fire at the small daemons. Each one perished from her attack.

Hearing a scream from behind her, (Y/n)'s ears twitched. She turned around and saw one of the mindflayers grabbed Prompto. She leapt into action, latching her jaw around the daemon's body and yanking it off the blonde. When he was free, she tossed the mindflayer aside and Gladio dealt the finishing blow.

While Prompto was recovering from the attack, the spirit utilized her many tails and swatted away any daemons that tried to attack him. Noctis made his way over and killed the enemies that she smacked away. Ignis and Gladio took down the last mindflayer while Prompto fires another bullet and annihilated the last flan. He sighed in relief when seeing all the adversaries were dead. "Does this mean we can go back outside?!"

Noctis didn't answer the marksman as he enters the Tomb of the Wanderer, acquiring the weapon that belonged to his ancestor. While he claimed his third royal arm, Prompto wandered over to his guardian. He threw his arms around her neck and buried his face into her soft fur. "So warm..."

(Y/n) nudged her nose against the top of his head in response to his touch. She messed with his hair until Noctis exited the royal tomb with his newly acquired weapon. With their business done, she returned to her human form and they left greyshire glacial grotto.

Outside the cave, Noctis is suddenly wracked with pain and grabs at his head. He witnesses a vision of Titan as well as the Disc of Cauthess. Prompto stepped away from (Y/n) to check on his best friend. "Noct, you okay?!"

The prince was baffled at the images that crossed through his mind. "What did I... Where was that?"

"What is it?" Gladio asked.

"A hole in the ground...something burning... The Meteor?"

"You saw the Disc of Cauthess?" Ignis asked with a tone of shock.

"Let's make our way back to Lestallum," the shield said.

Prompto nodded. "Yeah, gotta report to Talcott."

"Can you walk?" (Y/n) inquired.

Noctis met the girl's golden gaze and nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter || Masterlist

#ffxv #ffxv x reader #final fantasy xv x reader #final fantasy xv #prompto x reader #prompto argentum x reader #prompto argentum

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honeyhan-123 · 4 years

Text

Doctor Doctor

Summary: With a bullet in his arm, Bucky seeks medical attention and a certain surgeon catches his eye.

Warnings: non-con, gun play (gun fucking), biker!Bucky, minor descriptions of blood and bullet wounds.

Word Count: 3k

AN: This was written for the incredible and lovely @the-soulofdevil and her 500 follower writing challenge. Congrats gurl, I’m so proud. My prompt was a doctor au. Also, I’ve been watching wayyyyy to much Grey’s Anatomy, pls help me.

Squares Filled: Biker!AU & Knife/Gun play

My Masterlist

Exhaustion held your body captive as you dragged your feet, your eyes fluttering shut every few steps. Your entire body was sore, your neck cricked from looking down at the body on your operating table for so long and your hands were slightly cramping. The CABG surgery had taken far longer than you had expected, and now nothing was sounding better than going home, opening a bottle of sauvignon blanc and taking a long hot bath.

You eyes the door for the stairs disdainfully. Deep down you knew you should take them. The attendings lounge was only two floors up but you were dead tired so instead, you plodded along to the elevator, jabbing the up button. Looking back on it you really should have taken the stairs.

The elevator finally dinged on your floor, the doors opening slowly and without even looking, you jumped inside. You only noticed the other occupant after the doors had slid closed. He was tall, impressively built, and his eyes were a stunning shade of cerulean blue. You hated yourself for wondering briefly if he was here visiting a girlfriend.

However you could tell there was something off about him but, maybe that’s what attracted you. You had always had terrible taste in men. You could feel his body come closer, invading your personal space. A hand reached out to your name tag, his eyes flickering over it.

‘A surgeon huh? So I guess you know your way around the body.’

‘Excuse me?’ The words were barely out of your mouth before he reached into the waist bands of his jeans, pulling a gun from it with one hand, his other pressing the shutdown button on the elevator panel.

‘I need you to do me a favour Doc. I need you to get this bullet out of my arm.’ You stared down the barrel of his glock, your mouth going dry as he continued to speak. ‘Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to press the start button and then the elevator doors will open. You’ll take me somewhere private and you’ll quietly and stealthily get whatever you need to get the fuckin’ bullet out of me. If you even think about calling for help I will blow the brains out of whoever is around. Clear?’ Your heart thudded like a hummingbird’s wings and the turtleneck underneath your scrubs felt far too tight around your throat.

‘I said. Are we clear?’ He pressed the gun directly between your eyes, forcing the cool metal against your heated skin and you nodded.

‘Yes.’ You barely managed to squeak out your assent.

‘Sir.’ He added for emphasis.

‘Yes Sir. I understand.’

‘Good girl. Are you ready? And remember, if anyone dies, it’s your fault.’ You nodded once more and watched as he pressed the green start button, the elevator coming back to life. He stowed his gun back into the waistband of his jeans, sending you a look that clearly said he could whip it back out faster than you could scream. But his look was unneeded. You weren’t going to call for help. The people that worked at this hospital were like your family. There was no way you were going to risk any of their lives.

You lead him through various hallways, picking up an abandoned supply trolley as you went until you came across an empty patient room. You gestured for him to sit on the bed as you pulled on a gown and gloves before wheeling the stool over and sitting in front of him.

He grunted in pain as he pulled his leather jacket off, his t-shirt following soon after. Under normal circumstances you would have cut the material away but seeing him in pain gave you a sick sense of glee. But as you stared at his now bare chest, any sense of joy quickly seeped from you, dread taking its place. It shouldn’t have been as much of a shock as it was to see the pitch black ink staring back at you. He had waved a gun in your face for crying out loud. But still, seeing the dark outline of a wolf on his chest sent a chill through you. Of course this man was a White Wolf.

‘Scared of a little ink doc?’ The man before you teased a smirk taking over his plush pink lips.

‘Of course not Sir.’ You quipped back. It was only half a lie. You weren’t afraid of the tattoo itself, more of what it represented. You had seen far too many victims of the White Wolves over your time working at Seattle Grace Hospital. ‘I’m going to have to go in blind, I hope that’s okay as I assume you don’t want to be checked in?’ You asked even though you knew the answer you would get.

‘Obviously.’ His voice was a monotone as he rolled his eyes, your hands sweeping over the blood surrounding the torn skin. The bullet didn’t seem to be too deep which was lucky for him. It would make extraction a lot easier. Once the site was clean you pulled over the IV kit, standing to attach the morphine to the drip before picking up the needle and making for his other arm. ‘No.’ He yanked his arm out of your grip with such force that you stumbled.

‘Excuse me?’ You were confused as you sat back on the stool, the needle still in your hand.

‘No drugs. Just get it out now.’ He pulled the needle from you, chucking it across the room as he did so.

‘I’m sorry sir but I have to insist. The drugs will help you stay still through the pain as I extract the bullet.’ No matter how much his pain earlier had helped ease your own you weren’t a sadist.

‘I said no. I don’t want any drugs, I can handle the pain. Just get the fucking bullet out now.’ He growled and you submitted, scared that the commotion might attract unwanted visitors. Quickly you organised your tray and held the tweezers up to the bullet hole.

To your surprise, the man barely flinched as you pressed the metal against the tender flesh, searching for the bronze bullet that you could barely make out. You had expected him to yield, allowing you to administer the painkillers but he barely reacted, the occasional hiss or grunt escaping his lips was the only sign he felt anything.

Finally the bullet came free and there was a clink as you disposed of it in one of the metal bowls. Next you started working on patching him up. Some more blood had spilled from the wound as you had worked and he would definitely need stitches. As you worked you heard your parents voices echo around in your head, telling you horror stories of the White Wolves.

The gang had been haunting Seattle since the early forties and were often used as bedtime stories told to young children to make sure they didn’t stay out too late. While you had taken your parents warnings seriously growing up, you had always thought they exaggerated the cruelty of the gang. Working in the hospital had changed your mind. Their cruelty was unparalleled and perhaps if you weren’t so afraid of what they would do to your family you might have thought about “accidentally” clipping his axillary artery. He would be dead within minutes but you knew the other Wolves would come around sniffing for answers.

You struggled to keep your hands steady as you worked but finally you did the last stitch and bandaged his arm. ‘You’re going to have to wear a sling for next 4-6 weeks to make sure it heals properly and isn’t jolted around because you don’t want to be pulling your stitches. Also no strenuous exercise for at least two weeks and after then only light exercise such as going for a walk.’

‘What about fucking?’ Your lips parted involuntarily, shocked at how blatantly he had asked the question.

‘Erm, well that would count as strenuous exercise but after the two week mark perhaps depending on umm… on how you… on your chosen, erm, position then it should be okay.’ You felt your cheeks heat in embarrassment. You talked about sex and other embarrassing topics all the time in post-care but something about the way his cerulean blue eyes were staring at you so intently had you stumbling over your words like a school girl.

‘Hmmm… that’s a shame. If I had known this morning was going to be the last time for a while I would have made it something special.’ He mused to himself, his eyes drifting over your dark blue scrubs as you pulled off the gloves and gown. ‘But since I’m here, you could always fix me back up if something happened. Couldn’t you doc?’

‘Excuse me?’ You asked in confusion, blood draining from your face as he got off the bed and began stalking towards you. You backed away quickly, your hands fumbling with the door as you tried to pull it open only to have his uninjured arm slam it back shut. He twisted your body around so your back was pressed against the wood, both his arms pinning you against the wall as he leaned in.

‘I think you heard me doc. The same warnings apply. Scream and I’ll kill anyone who walks through that door.’ His breath tasted like cigarettes and his body was hot and hard against you. When you gulped and finally managed a nod, he pulled you from the door, bringing you back over to the bed, forcing you to lean over it.

He pressed his growing bulge against your ass as he pulled your scrub top over your head, the pale blue turtleneck and your bra following soon after. You squirmed in his arms but despite his injury his grip was steel tight. He groaned against the shell of your ear as he palmed your breasts, kneading them until your nipples began to harden. His breath was hot and heavy against the skin of your neck as his hands moved lower, down to the waistband of your scrubs. He slipped one hand in underneath your panties and groaned out.

‘Oh Doc, you’re already so wet for me.’ He breathed out and you shuddered against him, trying to squeeze your legs together as tightly as you could. He tutted you, pinching your ass through the scrubs. ‘Behave. You don’t want to know what happens to bad girls.’ You choked back your sob as you nodded and allowed him to push you back against the bed, Your chest resting on the cold sheets. He slipped your scrubs down your legs and continued to play with your clit, rubbing it harshly as you tried to force your body not to react. One hand grabbed both your wrists, pinning them both at the small of your back as he moved.

‘One thing I’ve learnt from girls like you is that you always need something inside of you to feel full don’t you?’ You felt him shift behind you and then suddenly something very cold brushed against your thigh. You struggled in his hold even harder, thrashing your body around the cool metal brushed against your heated lips. You didn’t have to see it to know what it was.

He swirled the barrel around, coating it in the slick that had involuntarily pooled along your lips. ‘No. No! Stop it! Get off of me.’ You tried to buck him off but his grip remained like iron, holding you down against the mattress with one hand as the other eased the barrel inside of you. You thrashed wildly as the cool metal juxtaposed the heat between your legs causing an odd sensation to form.

You hated the way the edges of the gun moved against your walls, making you feel every tiny ridge in the metal. You hated the way your body was responding to it even more.

You barely managed to hold back your moans as his pace picked up, becoming unrelenting. The urge to roll your hips back onto him had you shuddering with disgust. Your body shouldn’t be responding like this, it shouldn’t be enjoying it as much as it was. But you couldn’t help it anymore, not when he called you his good girl. Praising you for taking his gun so well.

The moans started tumbling from your lips and soon enough the coil in your belly had snapped and you pulsated in his arms. Your body convulsed as he slowly edged you down from your high.

‘See? That wasn’t so bad. I’ve always wanted to have a cunt on the end of my gun.’ You shivered at his words, your senses slowly coming back to you. ‘Here, taste yourself.’ He forced the metal by your face and you wanted to shrink away in disgust, yet the tone of his voice told you that wasn’t an option. Hesitantly, you moved your head towards it, licking a small stripe along the side, praying that was enough to satisfy him. ‘Not like that. Suck it like it's my cock.’ You shuddered and cringing inside, you angled your head to take it like he wanted, terrified that his finger would slip on the trigger.

You forced yourself to slowly bob your head going up and down the gun’s length, his groans echoing in the room as he rubbed himself against you in time with your movements. Suddenly, the gun was gone and you heard the tell-tale clink of his buckle, the fly of his zipper following.

‘Please you don’t have to do this. I won’t tell anyone, please.’ You could no longer hold back the tears and they fell onto the mattress beneath you, darkening the white sheets.

‘I’m sorry Sweetheart, but that’s just not how the White Wolves work. You see, when we see something we want... ’ his face dipped down next to your ear as he whispered into it, ‘we take it.’ And with that he entered you with one long thrust. You cried out at the intrusion. Although you were shamefully wet, you hadn’t been prepared for the sheer size of him. ‘Oh fuck doc. Your pussy’s so fuckin’ tight.’

There was no gradual build up. Just straight hard fucking. His balls slapped against your ass as he rutted into you, his pace unforgiving. You screamed out underneath him as you felt one hand wrap around your thigh, circling your already sensitive clit. ‘That’s it sweetheart. That’s such a good girl.’ You moaned as his deep sensual voice penetrated your ears.

You felt his grip on your hands loosen before it wrapped around your throat, pulling you up against his chest. He felt even deeper like this and your tears ran down your cheeks freely. You hated how every stroke of his cock made you shudder in the best way possible.

Your hands clutched at his around your throat as black dots started to appear in your vision. Between how breathless you were from the fucking and the crying, it was no surprise that you were struggling to breathe.

‘C'mon sweetheart. Scream my name for me. Let everyone know who’s fucking this pussy so right.’ He didn’t seem to care that you could barely breathe or that he hadn’t even bothered to give you his name so you choked a meager Sir. He seemed to realise his mistake as he grunted his name into your ear.

‘Bucky….’ Your voice was hoarse.

‘Louder.’ He growled and you repeated yourself. ‘Louder baby, louder.’

With air you didn’t know you had, you screamed his name for him, the waves of pleasure crashing inside of you reaching their peaks as you did. He groaned into your ear as he kept rutting, riding you out through your orgasm as your body collapsed back on the bed. He thrusted a few more times before hastily pulling out, his seed dripping down onto your ass as he moaned unashamedly.

‘Well fuck doc. How was that for strenuous activity?’ You couldn’t respond as he laughed, fabric rustling in the background as he dressed. ‘Didn’t even pull any stitches either.’ He mused to himself and you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Shame washed over you like a tidal wave, pinning you in place.

You saw him walk around the bed, kneeling down as he came into view. ‘Get dressed.’ His voice was firm, leaving no room for argument, but still, you didn't move. ‘Fine. Stay like that and let the next guy who walks in see your wrecked cunt. Like I give a shit.’ It was only at his brusque words and the reminder that this is in fact your workplace that you finally stood sorely. Your hands reached up to brush away the tears on your cheeks and you see him fiddling with your phone that had been in your pants pockets as you dress.

‘What are you doing?’ You barely manage to get the words out.

‘Just getting your number. You never know when having a doctor on call will be handy in my line of work.’ You tried to hide your scoff and failed.

‘Your line of work? You mean terrorising the streets of Seattle.’ You have no idea where this fire has come from and if you knew better you would have definitely kept your mouth shut.

‘No, I mean running a multi-million dollar enterprise.’ You gulp, swallowing thicky as he stands his chest nearly touching yours.

‘Running?’ You question, even though you’re not sure you quite want his answer.

‘Yeah sweetheart. Running.’ His hands lift up and he slides your phone back into your chest pocket. And with a wink sent your way he slips out from the room, leaving you with a sense of dread for the next time your phone will ring.

Tags will be added in a reblog

My Masterlist

#thesoulofdevilchallenge #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #the winter soldier #bucky x you #bucky/reader #biker!bucky #gang!bucky #hospital au

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earthlyemily · 3 years

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I’m struggling so much financially and honestly just wanted to vent somewhere. I’ve always lived in poverty and I think in my whole life I’ve had maybe 2 years where I didn’t have to stress about money and not be able to buy groceries or pay rent or be put into collections for not being able to make payments etc and that was when I was in college. For at least the past 5 years I’ve been struggling but I never talk about it. I don’t even know where to start haha I don’t even know what it’s like to not stress financially and be in debt. I’ll just start with the first things that come to mind with what I’m owing maybe. So it’s Dec. 23 and rent was due yesterday because we moved into this small suite attached to someone’s house on Nov. 22. It’s $1200 which is so expensive, but also the average price for BC if not even cheaper for a one-bedroom with a yard, utilities included. and no first and last, no pet deposits, etc because this is just short them for 4 months until the end of March because i reached out and asked and they said yes.

After 1 month I already remember why we went into the trailer almost 2 years ago and it’s literally because we can’t afford any other lifestyle. I think that’s the difference between us and some people that live in trailers, vans, etc. like we lived in a mouse & mouse shit infested trailer for 6 months breathing in their feces and urine and having it all over all our belongings. i literally had to take my whole life to the dump and we officially have no food storage because they ruined it all. there were at least 50-60 mice because a few birth cycles happened in the ceiling. I could write a whole post about my experience of living with field mice, but now isn’t the time so for rent, i only had $600 yesterday so that’s what I gave them. thank goodness they were okay with me asking for a few more days to make the other half. but I don’t even know when that’s going to be :(

my etsy shop veganveins has been doing so bad lately for more than one reason, most of my orders are just postcards and stickers, and while I’m grateful for them, that $1-3 profit isn’t going to keep my business going. and it’s so hard for me to work lately. the wifi doesn’t work sometimes for hours and I always get distracted by shawn and the dogs working from home in a small space. I need to get better at my time management. I got up at 8:30 today which is actually early for me so I’m proud of myself. I’m chronically ill and I really need to go get a blood test and see what’s happening because I haven’t gotten one since being diagnosed with graves disease again 1.5 years ago. anyways. i switched to a print on demand method this year for veganveins for some shirts and sweaters because i couldn’t afford to keep ordering shirts in bulk, and it’s honestly been so, so expensive and i barely make any profit. I’m currently owing my t-shirt printer $999 on one invoice (it was originally $2196 so I’ve at least paid half of it) but that was 2 weeks ago and I still need to pay it. Mario, my t-shirt printer has been with me since I started veganveins and I’m so grateful he gives me extensions on paying the invoices. every other t-shirt printer I’ve ever asked has said no. in addition to the $999 there’s going to be another $2200 invoice I’ll be receiving this week for my last order. I think because of the holidays he’s going to give me some time to pay off that too, but the problem is when I have outstanding invoices he doesn’t print new orders for me. He’s closed now until Jan. 4 so I just need to somehow make that much before then.

btw I don’t have a credit card ($8500 all used on veganveins and it got put into collections last march) and I had a fully used $5000 line of credit but I got a debt consolidation loan for $16,000 1 month ago and my payment for that is $167 a month. it fully paid off and closed my credit card and line of credit + $3000 overdraft which is nice. but now I don’t have any extra money except for what comes in. my credit is only 640 which is really bad in canada so I won’t get approved for a new credit card or loan until I build that up, which is going to be a few months of regular payments. so for regular payments, the $167 for the loan is due on Dec. 27. Yesterday the trailer loan which is literally unliveable from what the mice did until we renovate it came out for $260, that’s how much I pay once a month for it on the 22nd. I didn’t have $260 in my account so it got rejected and I got charged a $48 NSF fee. omg if anyone is reading this long i’m shook. i’m genuinely just writing this for myself to process my feelings and in case anyone was curious about my financial situation here you go haha. maybe some of you can relate, maybe some can’t. anyways. so now I somehow have to get $260 in my account for that for when they try to take it out again in the next few days.

another payment that was supposed to come out yesterday but hasn’t, but I’m sure will come out today is our truck loan. they deferred it for 8 months because of covid which was so nice, but we started paying it again 2 months ago. for both those months I called and made my payment a later date and that helped, but there’s barely any service here so when I called 4 times yesterday to try and change the date the payment comes out, I was on hold for 20-30 mins then my phone would disconnect and hang up. so that’s $586 and it will come out today, I have $0.46 in my account right now so it will get rejected and I’ll get charged another $48 NSF fee. this is why being poor always costs more and the banks are always harsher on those who don’t have money. today I’ll try calling again to see if I can ask for it to come out on a different day like january 10 instead, so I can first have time to pay rent and the trailer and also our $190 truck insurance which got rejected from my account 3 days ago, which was another $48 NSF fee. oh and something else i’m so stressed about is CIBC is going to put me into collections on December 28 if I don’t pay $1000, $700 of which is purely their fees. I have a $300 overdraft which they said i have to cover by then and the $700 is literally their $48 fees added up over the past 3 months. I got a text from them today saying my account is over and it’s because an amnesty international $11 monthly donation came out and obvi there’s no money in there, so that’s another $48 they charged. they’ve already given me a month to pay it and don’t want to wait any longer :(

I owe everyone in my family money, my sister $1650, my mom $700 and my brother also lent me $700. none of my siblings have money either and my mom definitely doesn’t so I hate that i had to borrow that much, and it’s literally been months. thankfully they’re so patient but i can’t wait to not owe them that

omg and i can’t even think about the amount of money shawn’s grandma has lent us. she’s genuinely the only reason we haven’t been completely homeless. but it’s a lot. like i don’t even want to say the number on here. she let us use it from her line of credit over the years and we’ve been slowly paying her back, but she lets us go months at a time without making a payment which i honestly hate doing, but have no choice. i’ve felt a lot of shame and guilt about this, but I also know that she genuinely would rather help us than see us suffer.

so i’m gonna talk about a big reason I’m broke this month especially - saving a pig named buster. his rescue cost me $1850 out of pocket that I didn’t have. but otherwise he was going to be killed in 2 days, he was my baby and I loved him so I had to do it. I somehow made $1350 that went towards it but I’m still owing $500, which I just asked for an extension for today until the new year. i’m not really supposed to talk about it but everything I’ve ever posted here has stayed here, so that cost was literally just from me buying the pig off the farmer. myself along with everyone else ive talked to is disgusted that he charged that much, but he wasnt budging and if that’s what it was going to take, of course I’m going to do it. I wouldn’t think twice about doing it for my dogs and Buster was smarter and more affectionate than them. i love him and I’m so happy he was saved. a non-profit organization transported him to a sanctuary and it was my biggest wish come true and the happiest moment I’ve had all year. my eyes are literally tearing up haha i love him so much. i could write a whole post about his neglect but basically he hasn’t had fresh water in weeks, he was only being fed handfuls of mixed nuts, he was constantly dirty in a muddy enclosure with an electric fence that he was always getting shocked on. he never got true love or affection except for when I gave him it. i posted an instagram story about him and asked people to message me and that i needed help, 2 people donated $111 and $120 each, and 2 other people donated $15 and $12. Someone also e-transferred me $20. These 4 donations equaled almost $300 ($277) and I was so grateful for those people wanting to help me help buster. if anyone else wants to help me with the cost of his rescue i still do need help and would appreciate it so much. this feels really weird and vulnerable for me to do and i’m sorry if anyone is annoyed by this post, I just genuinely am struggling and figured if someone does have extra and wants to help, there isn’t harm in that. but i do feel guilty for asking because i know there are so many other people struggling out there that need even more help than i do :(

i haven’t talked about it publically but i guess I will now, this farmer that I bought buster off of is the owner of the organic vegetable farm i was living and working at this past spring and summer. we worked really hard all summer to be able to stay there and park for free in the winter, but this past fall he told us no one was allowed to stay at the farm anymore, including us, so we had to find a new place to bring our 14ft trailer in to live. so that was an unexpected bummer and if we had known we wouldn’t be allowed staying there anymore (despite doing the labour of $1200 a month for free harvesting organic kale, for an off-grid spot he told us was worth $350 a month to park) we wouldn’t have driven 8 hours with the trailer and we would have stayed in the snow in northern BC and sucked it up and lived on the land we got the opportunity to rent this fall. Donna, the woman who is renting the land to us has been the biggest blessing in my life this year. I love her so much. Basically, she’s letting us live on 170 acres for $600 a month. letting us do whatever we want on the land (building a cabin, setting up rainwater catchment systems, having a solar passive greenhouse and a huge garden) LIKE WHAT. we could even open a farm sanctuary if we had money, i wanted to so bad but obviously that dream didn’t even come close to being reality. opportunities like this literally don’t exist in canada, especially not in BC. i cant even process my gratitude, i cry everytime i think about it. when we go back in the spring it’s going to be the beginning of the rest of our life :) i want to rescue so many senior dogs. everything we’ve always wanted to do we’ll be able to do, assuming we have money haha. but i want to have an organic farm and grow veggies to donate to families in need, especially since we live on stolen indiginious land and I see how the goverment actively restricts their access to fresh healthy produce. but anyways by then it was too dangerous to drive 8 hours back hauling a trailer in the snow and it was just easier to stay in the okanagan until the spring. i know the farmer probably doesn’t realize this and he’s also probably struggling financially but not being able to stay at the farm for the winter months we worked for, and buying buster for that price is a big reason I’m in the financial stress I am now so I figured i’d talk about it.

anyways. i think this is long enough and i think anyone reading this gets the point, i’m drowning in debt, my small business is almost costing me more to run and i’m not making nearly enough profit to live, the past few months ive been living off grid (not by choice) and just focused literally on surviving and not freezing and getting water etc and not having service or internet has affected me negatively. there’s internet now in the suite I’m in, it works really good in the morning and not as well at night, like for example tumblr doesn’t work past 5 pm for me to post photos. but ive been in a bad sleep schedule since i got here that i need to change. im sick and i need to heal myself. tomorrow i’ll set my alarm for 7:30. hopefully i make some money today. i got a social media managing job and it will end up being $1000 a month once i do the 3+ hours a day of work which im already feeling like i barely have time for my own basic life tasks. but i can do this.

if anyone reading this wants to help me out a bit, my paypal email is [email protected] or http://www.paypal.com/paypalme/veganveins

and my e-transfer email is [email protected] i have auto deposit so you won’t have to ask a question :)

this is my first time in 7 years i’ve made a post like this or asked for help. i won’t do it again but figured i have nothing to lose. if you read up to here i love you a lot and thank you so much for being here <3

#personal #finances #broke #poor #vegan #small business owner #graves disease #saving animals #off grid #I wonder if anyone will even read this all #debt #life update lol #p

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verydeerfitz · 3 years

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in a similar vein 2 my last reblog ive been rethinking my stance on asexuality a lot after seeing some more compelling posts on it as of late. especially with regards to seeing actual terfs spouting some of the same stuff i used to say and stating that being their "gateway drug" to terfism. that said, i do still have a complicated relationship with asexuality.

i used to be ace myself once, when i was a kid that was terrified of and repulsed by sex. i think seeing and adopting that label at that age honestly set me back in my development, let me live in my fear longer than i had to because it was my Identity, and as a result made me develop a deep sense of almost puritanical shame over my sexuality when it did finally begin to surface that has taken years to even begin to undo.

of course there are other factors tht contributed to this as well but it certainly didnt help and actively delayed the discovery of my sexuality. so right off the bat i have really negative connotations associated with asexuality.

i also get hung up on the fact that if im to accept them as inherently lgbt, or queer, there isnt really a barrier between the asexuals that would harrass and threaten gay people, and show active disgust towards them on the basis of being "allosexual" and the gay people they target.

but with all that said i think ive come to accept that letting the bad apples represent the entire group is at best just kinda silly, and at worst, opening the doors to even more ridiculous microlabels and twitter level discourse and even further segregation of a community that really, ultimately, i think, should be able to unite themselves under the rainbow flag.

i will probably always have my feelings and my critiques of asexuality based on how i experienced it but. community and unification, to me, will always be more important than placing ppl into their exact right boxes that keep them seperate from me. basically if u fight the good fight u belong here.

#this is more or less sums up my feelings on the word queer as well #i grew up in a place where it is used positively and negatively in about equal measure #and the love of my life grew up somewhere where it was actively used against her #so i got my Feelings abt it but ultimately i think the reclaimation of it can only lead to good things for the success of the movement #its abt the Unity man.#comrades #fitz speaks

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missmonsters2 · 4 years

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About You || Part IX

Gif by: giuliacommissions (please check her out if you’d like to commission her for gifs and other work 💞)

PAIRING: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader/OFC

Summary: Wanda had never known loss like she has until she lost Pietro. It’s debilitating. She can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t even leave her house. Life is fading fast, and she’s not sure if she even wants to hang on. Enter you, a stranger that reconnects her to the daily things that makes life beautiful.

Warnings: Deals with loss & grief and the spectrum of emotions and depression that comes with it. Please note there is no glorification in any of this. Loss, grief, and depression are nothing beautiful. Also, please don’t hesitate or reach out for help if you are in a dark place. Love you, lovelies 💘

Genre: Angst & Romance

NOTE: One more chapter after this. YES I KNOW I’M LATE IN POSTING AHH.

PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV || PART V || PART VI || PART VII || PART VIII

PART IX of X

Count: 2562

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Moving into the new place is a whirlwind with you.

You let her paint all over the walls for decorations, and Wanda's never had so much fun picking a couch before.

Wanda is currently flushing red as Natasha is over, and she had caught the two of you amorously loving each other.

You had to go to work, so Wanda was left to face the embarrassment alone.

"You certainly have a lot of energy," Natasha comments, and Wanda drops her paintbrush.

"I can't help it," Wanda mumbles.

"Oh, it's fine. At least you're doing it in the name of love. Loudly, but for love."

"You could hear us?"

"We can hear you every time," Natasha deadpans.

"We?" Wanda emphasizes.

"My only advice is that you pick better times to do it if you can. Clint had to wait outside for an hour and a half last time he came over."

Wanda flushes, her ears a hot red while she tries to resume painting.

She can't help it if she wants to have you when she does.

"So, was Clint right?"

"About?" Wanda mumbles.

Natasha stares at her friend and frowns.

"That she's the top?"

Wanda slams her paintbrush down.

"No one is allowed to be friends with Clint anymore."

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You were weird on the phone today.

A little skittish in Wanda's opinion. You said you wanted to take her somewhere after work.

She couldn't help but worry that maybe you were regretting everything, but then you showed up at home at 7 PM with flowers in your hands.

"Would you go somewhere with me? I have something to tell you."

A look of worry passed over Wanda's face, but she nodded as she grabbed her jacket.

The ride was quiet. You were tense as your hand would grip the steering wheel before relaxing, the cycle repeating.

"Where are we going?" Wanda asked.

"I wanted to show you the person who made sure I wasn't alone," you tell her.

Wanda is surprised because she wasn't aware that your friend was in the same town. She thought they were out of your life, as you had indicated.

But then, when you pull up into the cemetery, Wanda's heart dropped.

"Why didn't you say so?" Wanda looks at you, heartbreaking at the sad smile on your face.

"It doesn't change that people do come and go."

Wanda doesn't say anything and lets you lead her. She feels a little on the edge because she knows this cemetery too well by now, and the route is familiar.

The two of you come to a stop, and Wanda looks at the gravestone she's seen many times before. She used to spend hours every day sitting here.

You put flowers down before standing up and looking at Wanda with wet eyes.

"I have something to give you," you quietly say, your hand fishing in your bag before you pull something out and put in Wanda's hands.

Her yearbook.

Wanda looks back at the gravestone, the words searing on her eyes.

Pietro Maximoff.

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Flashback...

You were in a bit of tizzy. You and your business partner just recently bought the space to open your own psychology clinic.

You had just hired a marketing firm to help you with your advertising for your grand opening. He would be arriving in a couple of minutes with his advertisement plan.

"Hello?"

You shoot up from your office, putting down the boxes as you rush to the front.

"Hello!" You say breathlessly, feeling a little shame at what a mess you look like.

The guy standing there looked equally of a mess with his blond hair with dark roots in an array. He looked a little breathless, and you guessed he was running late.

The two of you stand there, looking at each other before the two of you start laughing.

"I'm Pietro, your marketing manager."

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"Pietro, the job had been done weeks ago. Why do you keep coming here?" You quirk your brow.

You and Pietro had hit it off quite well, getting to know each other as he helped you with advertising your clinic and services.

But it was professional. Except Pietro had kept coming even after everything was finished.

Monday it was coffee, Tuesday was lunch, Wednesday was dropping off a coffee and a bagel, and now it was Thursday, and he had come on his lunchtime again.

"I just wanted to see if you wanted to go for dinner," he smiles.

You stand there, brow still quirked as you assessed him.

"Alright."

"Cool, how about 8 PM?"

You nod, and Pietro smiles and runs out the building again.

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Dinner is a pleasant affair.

He is flirty but respectful. He holds doors and chairs open for you but doesn't make a move to grab your hand or try to get closer.

Pietro is talking about his plans to see his sister next weekend when you interrupt him.

"Do you keep coming by my office because you're interested in me?"

It's blunt, but you rather be straight forward about it.

Pietro stops his story, mouth still open before closes it sheepishly.

"No," he admits, "I actually wanted to set you up with my sister."

"Pass," you say immediately.

"What!" Pietro says. "C'mon, you guys would be a perfect match."

"Not interested in dating," you tell him as you eat your food, more relaxed that it's not a date.

Pietro groans and you laugh a bit before he starts eating again.

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Even after your blunt rejection, Pietro still comes by the office to pester you into getting lunch.

He lectures you that you can't skip it even if you're busy and lists all the things that could happen to you if you don't eat.

"Cancer? Really?" You say to him.

"Everything causes cancer," he tells you seriously.

"Wouldn't that mean that even eating can cause cancer?" You argue back at him.

"Exactly," he says seriously, "If we're all going to get cancer regardless, you should eat and have a full stomach at least."

You laugh, a weird familial warmth filling the pit of your stomach.

"You seriously haven't changed," you tell him.

"What do you mean?" He asks you.

You roll your eyes, but you don't expect him to remember.

"Pietro Maximoff, track and field captain, while also the student council president. The guy everyone wants to be friends with."

Pietro's mouth dropped.

"We went to the same university?" He says excitedly. "You do know my sister too then!"

"Yeah, she's really nice," you say while you look down at the ground with your hands shoved in your pocket.

"Nice?" Pietro snorts. "No one ever says that about her."

You chuckle.

"She beats up bullies, so she's automatically nice even if she seems like the equivalent to a cactus."

"So, you're saying you will go on a date with her!" Pietro says excitedly.

"Are you deaf? Nowhere in what I said says I'll go on a date with her."

"But you just said she's nice!" Pietro whines.

"I also said she's the equivalent to a cactus."

"Wanda's really wonderful, trust me."

You merely hum.

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It's a little weird, you admit. Having someone like Pietro who goes out of his way to spend time with you.

People ask all the time if you're dating, but Pietro always laughs it off and says that you're like family to each other.

"I'm her big brother!"

"You're only two months older," you would always say in response.

"God, you're like Wanda. Older is older," Pietro would joke.

He talks about Wanda a lot. You can tell he clearly adores her. You're not sure you really understand sibling bonds because of your own brother.

But Pietro talks as if he would move mountains for her, and talks like Wanda wouldn't hesitate to take a bullet for him.

"Is that piece of shit calling you again?"

You look away from your phone screen to Pietro's scowling face.

He knows everything about you.

He knows that your brother has been trying to get back in touch with you.

"Yeah," you sigh as you put your phone down and sit back in your chair. You have 30 minutes to relax before your next patient comes.

Your brother had seen you in an online advertisement and has been calling your workplace. You picked up the phone one, talked to him briefly before he started saying how he needed cash.

You haven't picked up the phone since.

"You should just let me pick up the phone and tell him to fuck off," Pietro glares at the offending phone.

"You have a lot of free time," you say to him in response.

"I'm a director now, hell yeah, I have lots of time," Pietro laughs.

The two of you banter some more when the receptionist tells you your appointment is here.

Pietro smiles at you before he walks out of the office with you following him.

Except, at the front desk, you see your brother standing there.

"What the hell," you mutter under your breath.

"What are you doing here?" You say to him.

"Miss, that's your appointment," the receptionist tells you.

"My appointment is supposed to be with a Leon--" You groan because he used a fake name to book the appointment.

"You need to get the hell out of here, Jake," you glare at him.

"I just need 5 minutes to talk, don't you want to talk after all this time?" Jake frowns at you.

You want to make a scene, but this is your workplace, so you drag Jake into your office with Pietro right on your heels.

"No, I don't want to talk or catch up. Why would I want to catch up with someone who left me at an orphanage?" You hiss at him.

"I was 18!" Jake defends himself. "I couldn't even take care of myself, let alone you. I left you for the best."

You scoff at the response.

"And what? You want to catch up now? Or is this about the cash you said you needed."

Jake is quiet.

"I just need a loan," he says instead.

There's a scoff in the background.

The two of you look over to see Pietro there looking at Jake in disgust.

"What's your problem?" Jake glares at him. "Get out of here, this is family business."

"I am family," Pietro says in return.

"With family like me, she doesn't need your ass around here," Pietro pulls out his checkbook from the inner chest pocket of his suit jacket.

"Take this, and get the fuck out of here. If you ever come back around here without her wanting you around, I'll sue you," Pietro threatens, ripping out a cheque and shoving it into Jake's hand.

You catch the numbers as your eyes widen.

It was $10,000.

Jake's eyes are wide too, but he looks at Pietro once more before looking at you.

"Deal," Jake says and leaves.

"Fucking dick," Pietro mutters as Jake leaves the building.

"What the hell, Pietro!" You yell at him.

"Why did you give him $10,000?"

"Because jerks like that will keep coming around until they get what they want. Or until their legs are broken, but I don't know anyone who can do that for me. Yet."

You stare at him in disbelief, but he just laughs and pulls you in for a hug.

"$10,000 is nothing to make sure my little sister isn't hurt."

You denied it when Pietro asked you later if you were crying.

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"You should show up here. At 7 PM."

You look at Pietro.

"Are you trying to set me up with your sister again?"

"No. Yes. Maybe," Pietro answers.

"Give it up, man," you shake your head at him.

He talks about Wanda all the time. You admit you're a little intrigued by her. But only because Pietro spins her in such a wonderful light, even when he tells you stories of when she's being an asshole.

"My sister is going to die alone with a cat, have some sympathy, and meet her. I guarantee you'll want to lock her down. I'm convinced she's your soulmate," Pietro determinedly keeps going.

"Why are you convinced of that?" You quirk your brow.

"Because she's prickly, you're super nice and patient, and I can't explain it anymore, just meet her!" Pietro whines.

You laugh.

"Well, I'll actually be traveling to Europe next month for a volunteer experience there for some less fortunate kids who need counseling. But, I'm not opposed to meeting her when I'm back. No guarantees, though, and on one condition."

"What's that?" He asks you excitedly.

"I want her yearbook, and when I meet her, I'll give it back," you tell him.

"Why do you want her yearbook?" He asked confusedly.

"I never got to write in it," you tell him.

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"That was the last time I got to see him. He died while I was in Europe."

Wanda knows because she was in the car accident too.

She opens her yearbook and sees an added message on the back, the only other writing in it other than Pietro's.

Wanda,

You may not recognize me, but I wanted to say thank you, for all those years ago, for sticking up for me and getting my things back.

Sincerely,

The girl you saved.

There was a picture there, and Wanda flipped it over. She sees a picture of you back in university, with a familiar dirty backpack.

"When I saw you at the bridge...I just couldn't let you die. You were someone Pietro loved so much. I--"

"Did you blame me?"

Wanda saw a flash of guilt through your eyes.

"I did at first. I hated you at first. You were his family. He loved you so much, he loved me like family, and now he's gone."

Small things over the past few months pass through Wanda's head. Like how you talked as if you new Pietro, trying to get her to not blame herself.

She listened to the words, a dull ache in her chest because the truth felt like you had blamed her too, and she deserved it.

"But...Pietro was right. I met you, got to know you, and everything Pietro told me about you was right. I couldn't blame him for trying to set me up with you."

What a small word, Wanda thought.

And you were begging.

"Please don't hate me."

But Wanda merely closed the yearbook and opened her arms so you could dive into her comfort.

Because even though you had blamed her, hated her at first, you still saved Wanda. You still stuck around, cleaned her mess up, loved her even when she was awful to you.

You took in all her imperfections, loved her, and let her love you.

"You are my soulmate," you confess her to, lips quivering.

"Pietro always had a way of taking care of his family. I asked him at the funeral for help, and he gave me you," Wanda whispered.

Your tears stopped at Wanda's calming words. She pulled back, cupping your face as her thumb wiped your tears.

"I love you," she insists. "I'm never letting this hand go."

She holds up your hand, pressing her lips to the painted red string around your wrist.

"I was lost, but you found me. I'm never letting you go."

PART X

#mm: my fics #series: about you #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x OFC #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #Wanda Maximoff Imagine #scarlet witch x reader #scarlet witch imagine #avengers au #avengers imagine #avengers reader insert #Marvel reader insert #Modern Avengers AU

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menalez · 4 years

Text

ive been saying that i’ll be posting receipts on the hetfem server, which was also heavily requested by plenty of people on here. this post is going to be pretty long, so i’m putting it under a read more. keep in mind, this isn’t every single wrong thing that has been said on the server, some may disagree with some parts even being wrong to begin with, and this post may have more added to it afterwards in the reblogs. the individuals who have provided me with receipts were all feeling threatened due to knowing how vicious and prone to harassing others the women in this server often are. so ive been sent countless receipts with context, which i have tried to summarise as well. please remember that the point of this post isn’t to call out specific individuals, but rather it is to showcase that the concerns and ‘rumours’ going around about this server were reasonable and true, and to show how lesbophobic and racist this server is (which many have publicly stated before being dogpiled by members of the server).

first is the zionism and racism in that specific regard. “theHettyishere” is black-diaspora, “Autumn” is probablyaterf. both are partaking in the erasure & justification of how israel is treating palestinians, erasing palestinians proven ties to their country, erasing the war crimes israel partook in, and also erasing the racism within israel which prioritises ashkenazim over mizrahim and black jews.

then they got more blatant and started saying that if you’re anti-zionism then you’re .. anti-semitic ?? keep in mind these people aren’t even jewish

then they go onto defending christianity

and falsely claim hitler ‘deeply respected’ islam. interesting considering hitler called muslims ‘half-apes’ and all but oh well!

second set of receipts is the defending of blackface and justification of it. in both these ‘debates’, they literally only present one side and then act like they had a great discussion at the end of it when they’re all just confirming their pre-existing beliefs and using one another to support that. anyways, girlsfrommars had previously come under fire for publicly defending the blackface tradition existing in her country, the netherlands. this is her doing it again after backpedaling on tumblr on this topic, and people in the server standing by her. battleking is bookrebelwordwarrior on tumblr.

the conversation kinda goes on for a bit and girlfrommars does the same thing she did on tumblr not long before this convo, which was give a “oh ok i’ll reconsider!” which may not be her truth anyways.

next is people on the server saying straight women don’t have enough good representation and even talking about being upset over bi women and even lesbians being represented?? again, autumn is probablyaterf. laughing bird will appear in the screenshots a lot, although i’m not sure what her url is.

idk how to tell these het and bi women.... that lesbians have practically no good representation. especially not as much as het women. there’s a lot of parts of this conversation that are highly questionable. tldr its bad if lesbians or bi women headcannon gnc women as bi or lesbians. also its bad if gnc characters aren’t straight.

this next screen is coming from a het woman so keep that in mind. i don’t know how to put into words why i find this iffy so yall can see it and decide for urselves

she justifies it w this when a couple of members make it clear they find her message questionable:

on a different occasion, girlsfrommars, a white woman, decides to randomly ask other white women in the server what they think about reparations. a bunch of racist white women show themselves during this conversation. please keep in mind i was not the one censoring their usernames so i myself have no idea who these women are, but the person censored in white is emanon, who has a tumblr. i dont know what her tumblr is, but she will appear in multiple other receipts after this. keep in mind this entire channel ends up being deleted by probablyaterf to cover up the racism and prevent the collection of receipts, which you’ll see evidence of later on in this post.

then one of the white women dismisses the impact of racism, basically,

then woc start to chime in (white is the white woman, ‘emanon’)

then, after this conversation went on for a while, a mod decides to tone-police and shame the woc for taking issue with what the white woman was saying. this mod is also white.

“my race doesn’t matter, but i’m jewish” sounds convenient. especially since this person admitted to being white and stated thats why she should stay in her lane the previous day:

back to the dispute between LB and the woc:

remember LB’s tone and behaviour in the above screenshots as you’ll see how different it is from how she acted when a white woman was being lesbophobic on the server.

probablyaterf eventually comes in with “both sides were bad :)” basically

girlfrommars makes a non-apology apology about bringing up reparations the way she did

the next set of screenshots is just.. i dont even know what to say about it? yall can see it for yourselves because i think its self-explanatory. battle king = bookrebelwordwarrior, thehettyishere = black-diaspora, autumn = probablyaterf.

then the subtle lesbophobia comes in

this convo was then moved to a channel that was eventually deleted (receipt of that will be shown on this post).

probablyaterf then comes in and says lesbians are All saying the things mentioned above

then radfemkitten talks about how upset she was and probablyaterf goes on about how this conversation should stop or something

PAT then lowkey admits that part of the point of her server is to be able to talk shit about lesbians without being criticised for lesbophobia:

radfemkitten more or less confirms this

PAT basically says “if you think women here are lesbophobic then leave but if you keep criticising what is said then i’ll mute and maybe even kick you!” ok

after this PAT muted that woman for saying that some of the women were being lesbophobic.

someone showed exactly where lesbophobia was present

“straight women should have a space where they can shit talk lesbians without criticism” basically ^. this is the 3rd screenshot where members of the chat, specifically the creator PAT, states that the server exists partially so that non-lesbians can say shit without being criticised for being lesbophobic.

this was then said by emanon (racist reparations lady):

then probablyaterf coddles the women who were upset for being held accountable and kicks out the women who called out lesbophobia

probablyaterf deleted entire channels which involved members being lesbophobic and racist for the bullshit reason she provided here, basically admitting she would remove things to prevent the collection of receipts:

this is why she is so confident on her blog about how people can’t possibly have receipts on her server. because she makes sure to delete the evidence. issue is, she did it too late. she then started twisting the story and lying to save face. she removed the conversations regarding reparations, separatism, the accusations of racism & lesbophobia, them complaining about there not being enough good representation of straight women, etc were all removed. evidence:

then it gets even more blatantly sketchy, where PAT basically tells the members of the group to not repeat the drama or dish the details of it, as any honest and open person not hiding questionable shit would do, apparently.

the details and specifics of this drama were all kept quiet by those involved as well, and those involved agreed to not talk about what has happened in detail.

the bit “one of the members was crying SO MUCH because you called her lesophobic that she almost LEFT HER JOB :(” is funny as y’all can see the situation for yourself up there, she said something and people questioned her on it. this wasn’t a case of a poor defenseless victim being cruelly attacked or whatever.

“a lot of them do tho clearly” keep in mind that there were like what .. 4 lesbians that took issue with the server? and initially there was even less than that.

radfemkitten then goes onto a lesbophobic rant.

then they changed the story within the server and claimed that the accusations of racism were directed at woc... when it was directed at white women exclusively, as shown above. keep in mind the person claiming this and putting racism in quotations is a white woman herself so. hmm.

next incident is some white woman being very blatantly lesbophobic on the server. several people took issue with it, and she received multiple warnings but was not kicked. keep in mind that earlier, someone was kicked simply for questioning a member on the server and saying they were being lesbophobic. yet when someone is blatantly lesbophobic, they receive multiple warnings and then get away with it. “pinkie the feral one” goes by roxxy, i don’t know if she has a tumblr. notice how laughing bird is comparatively very civil and patient with this roxxy person.

bi & het women determining that lesbians talking about thinking of pussy somehow implies ‘homosexuals are sex crazed deviants’, is what’s homophobic, btw.

next are when the hetfem server came under fire after TD spoke against it and drama ensued. i was initially 100% for the hetfem server and said those opposing it were being illogical. however, after a while of that drama, some lesbophobia was starting to come out from the hetfems which is when i said i think both sides are wrong. the hetfems took this very personally and proceeded to make lesbophobic comments about how im just bitter bc i dont have a gf or something (altho i was in a relationship back then so lol) and then they blatantly said they dont think het women have power over lesbians. the convo resulted in them full on arguing that lesbians have it easier than het women.

next coming is the hetfem server arguing that abrahamic religions actually *helped* women and how radfems should be talking about that. keep in mind some of these are the same people that mock people who say islam is a ‘feminist religion’.

next is them arguing on the hetfem server that Nasime Aghdam, the youtube shooter, is male and referencing a meme as a source. they completely ignored the fact that Nasime’s childhood photos make it pretty obvious that that meme was inaccurate anyways. also probablyaterf argued that it’s somehow racist to note that nasime aghdam resembles many other people in the middle east (somewhere im from & where ive lived my entire life). its interesting considering how many things she argued weren’t racist or homophobic, yet noting that someone isn’t a Weird Unusual Looking Alien like she wants to claim is ..racist

the probablyaterf goes on to strawman that i claimed all iranians are clones of each other or smth simply bc i said nasime aghdam’s face is not unusual in countries like iran. also keep in mind the person censored in red is a white woman lol.

henryhetta = foxfur-nadine.

listen.. ive seen women wearing borderline clown makeup in my country. it doesnt make them male. anyways then PAT says ‘maybe im wrong but ill insist im not anyways’, basically.

next is the time black-diaspora posted a pic of my mom taken from my country’s gov facebook page, which provides people with her first & last name. this was brought up on the server. they said i was lying (i was not) and went on about how im crazy and need to get laid. also calling me a ‘nigel’ in one of those screens.

then they just keep justifying it and insulting me. instead of taking issue with what a member of their server did.

so basically “calling out lesbophobia is bad, but posting information that leads to someone’s mom’s full name and facebook is ok, and somehow posting something from a ‘public news article’”

then they said “homosexuality is legal in bahrain” to somehow justify any of this??? as if Bahrain doesn’t have a history of killing, imprisoning, torturing, and exiling Bahrainis that they see criticising the government (which i frequently do) or anything. not like around 200 people have lost their lives for critiquing Bahrain’s government or anything. moreover, plenty of things are ‘legal’ in Bahrain but still lead to punishment. sex outside of marriage is illegal and gay people can’t legally get married, for one. and people have been imprisoned in Bahrain for kissing members of the same sex. but whatever i guess. anyways then radfemkitten argues that i sent a picture doxxing my own fucking mother to black-diaspora. so i endangered my own mother and then begged these people to delete the information they posted, apparently?

sadly, that is the end of the receipts i have on the topic of BD endangering my mom and the hetfem server justifying it and finding ways to blame me for BD’s actions. so i don’t have the bit that confirms how she explained herself to others and justified it, however she did justify and defend it publicly when i called her out on it. BD was not kicked or muted or anything of the sort for what she has done, and as you can see, everyone justified it and took it as an opportunity to insult me. this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if i wasn’t from a dictatorship and if my blog wasn’t so political. what BD posted is STILL present on another blog and i could not get staff to delete it, so if the information falls into the wrong hands i don’t know what’ll happen to my mother, or even to me.

next is them justifying allying with the right despite their homophobia, racism, etc. keep in mind some of these women reblogged white supremacist propaganda in agreement with it so this isn’t particularly shocking. christmas begins in november = autumn = probablyaterf.

the issue with this, by the way, is associating with a group that is often misogynistic, homophobic, and racist solely to have a slightly larger platform of people who are more or less heavily for gender, gender roles, and more, sends the message that somehow these are ok things to side with as feminists. yall notice how many ‘radfems’ are literally just conservatives who are against some aspects of misogyny or trans people? these are the people you’re roping in a lot of the time. and this makes the voices of radfems easier to dismiss by the left as well. instead of establishing a space in the left, you end up placing yourself closer to the right and effectively putting the success of your movement to a halt.

these coming screenshots are the hetfems arguing het women have it The Hardest in radfem spaces

separate event is just some lesbophobia, again.

“imagine a straight/bihet woman wondering what the purpose of a lesbian is” go outside. there’s plenty of that. one idiotic woman saying that about bisexuality doesn’t somehow override that.

more blatant lesbophobia in a separate event. note the reactions underneath the text (all in agreement)

how often have gay people talked about how the stupid “you have equal rights now uwu” bullshit is simply bullshit? this is exactly what men use to dismiss feminists, why do it to dismiss talk of homophobia?

a bunch of white & het/het-passing women joking about making a straight pride or kkk march

remember the white woman, emanon, who argues against reparations because “what about poor white people? :(” she comes in with more racism, and some intersexism too! this is her calling caster semenya, an intersex black woman, a man and using ‘he’ pronouns for her. girlfrommars, the white woman keen on defending blackface, comes in to express her agreement.

then they argue that semenya was raised as a male.. because she refused to wear feminine clothing including in school & because some people thought she was, and thus treated her as such until they realised shes not, a man??

this is more recent than a lot of the previous receipts. i reblogged one post by radfemkitten a while back, and she was so flattered she felt the need to complain about it on the hetfem server, to which someone replied by likening me to a male hippo from madagascar.

#whitefem racism #long post #liberal lesbophobia #hetfems #hetfem server #probablyaterf #black-diaspora #girlfrommars #radfemkitten

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