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#its the equivalent of he likes me. he likes me not. but actually talking to the plants/flowers lmao
we-r-loonies · 15 hours
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an actual guide to british slang for foreign marauders writers.
because i am sick of seeing
a) people using american english eg. mom, sneakers
b) people overusing "mate" and "innit"
alright? = a greeting, like hello.
everyday words
ain't = haven't
scran = food, or to describe eating
swear down = promise
"swear down, I didn't do nothing,"
bloody = can be used in any sentence at any time
"bloody hell" "its bloody pissing it down out there" "i was bloody wankered"
bloke = a man
innit = isn't it?
mate = equivalent of calling someone bro
bruv, lad, my son = bro, dude, etc
fags, rollies, ciggies, (NOT A SPLIFF) = cigarettes
trust = trust me
"trust, ill tell you later"
chatting (what you chatting about?) = what are you on about?
quid = pound
proper buzzing = really excited
good
sound = good
bangin' = really good
lush = good
"that scran was lush"
jokes = a laugh, funny
bare = a lot of
fit = physically attractive
"he's well fit, isn't he?"
pissed = drunk
dodgy/dodge = questionable
bad
are you taking the piss? = are you having a laugh?
thats peak = thats bad
not being funny, but... = no offense but...
gordon bennett! = surprise, shock, disbelief
slag off = talk badly about someone
"she was slagging her off to anyone who'd listen"
minging, rank = disgusting
bloody nora = expression of surprise, irritation
bollocks = nonsense, something bad
"stop talking bollocks, mate"
skint = broke
prat, git = an idiot
insults
a melt = a pathetic person
clapped = ugly
"he's fucking clapped..."
sket = a promiscuous woman
slag = ^^
minger = an unattractive person
plonker = calling someone silly, not offensive
"don't be a plonker..."
cunt = VERY OFFENSIVE!
wanker, tosser = a general insult
bender, poof = a gay man, used insultingly
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greenlaut · 9 months
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“do you think wolfwood likes me back?“
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mikoran · 1 year
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i cant enjoy anything without it immediately going back to st and byler its almost worrying
like i played loz wind waker like two months ago. and i spent half the playthrough thinking of a willel centric au with byler undertones because 1) brother and sister (link and aryll -> will and el) 2) bad things happen to sister on brothers birthday (aryll gets kidnapped by bird -> el getting bullied at rinkomania) 3) brother has to go on quest to find sister. and i started planning out a wholeass thing with it and then like never did anything about it
and now recently ive been playing slime rancher again and im starting to think of mike and will being ranchers together i think something might be wrong with me
#anyway now to talk about the loz ww au in the tags#byler#willel#im realizing you guys might not know the plot of wind waker but oh wellllll#SO will is link here and el is aryll thats established in the post#now i really didnt want el to be sidelined so i fucked with the lore here a bit#in this scenario el (aryll) IS actually zelda and vecna (ganon) was right in his idea to kidnap her#in the original game ganon is going around kidnapping girls with pointy ears because they could be zelda#and the actual zelda is this pirate girl you meet named tetra and aryll is just used as a catalyst for link to do his thing#but thematically it makes more sense for el to be zelda and not whoever the tetra equivalent is#who ive gone back and forth about because her personality heavilyyy matches max compared to everyone else#but keeping the romantic pairs makes that harder but were fucking with how the lore and pairings work anyway#so i considered making tetra two characters being both max and mike but im not sure so#anyway back to the themes#having el be zelda and vecna being ganon#and by association triforce havers#that makes will also a triforce haver as link#WHICHHH CAN BE TIED TO THE WILL BYERS HAS POWERS THING AND INSTEAD OF LIKE TRIFORCES ITS BEING NUMBERS DO YOU SEE THE VISION#THEMES PEOPLE THEMESSSS#also dustin is makar just cuz i feel like hes violin coded no one ask it makes sense to me#and lucas as medli with erica as prince komali#cuz i want dustin lucas and erica to still have more major roles#and they just work there to me idk i can see erica being bitchy and emo over an orb#no ones gonna read this but to the people who do ily#i was literally just thinking of ideas for this au during that whole playthrough after finding the similarities i mentioned#its sad honestly#i have drawing ideas for this too thatll never see the light of day#OH AND LINKS GRANDMA BEING ALL WORRIED EQUALS JOYCE BEING ALL WORRIED THE PARENTAL FIGURE LINES UP TOOOO#im done now sorry
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sparklingpax · 2 years
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BAHAHAAHAA GALVATRON GETTING DRUNK OFF HIS ASS AND IMMEDIATELY GOING OUT TO ATTACK EVERYONE & THUS RUINING THE DECEPTICONS' OWN PLANS HAS ME 💀💀💀💀💀💀✨
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jewishvitya · 2 months
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I remembered this essay from years ago when I was unlearning what I knew of Israel and zionism and I couldn't find it again, and now I see it in a Shaun video, with the source.
Ze'ev Jabotinsky, "The Iron Wall." I downloaded it from the Jabotinsky Institute.
These are the titles he gave this essay:
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I said that Zionist leaders explicitly talked about Zionism as a colonialist movement. This is an example of what I was talking about.
Some quotes:
There can be no voluntary agreement between ourselves and the Palestine Arabs. Not now, nor in the prospective future. I say this with such conviction, not because I want to hurt the moderate Zionists. I do not believe that they will be hurt. Except for those who were born blind, they realised long ago that it is utterly impossible to obtain the voluntary consent of the Palestine Arabs for converting "Palestine" from an Arab country into a country with a Jewish majority.
My readers have a general idea of the history of colonisation in other countries. I suggest that they consider all the precedents with which they are acquainted, and see whether there is one solitary instance of any colonisation being carried on with the consent of the native population. There is no such precedent.
He's saying openly: no land was colonized with the consent of its indigenous population. So we have to do it without that consent.
Every native population in the world resists colonists as long as it has the slightest hope of being able to rid itself of the danger of being colonised.
That is what the Arabs in Palestine are doing, and what they will persist in doing as long as there remains a solitary spark of hope that they will be able to prevent the transformation of "Palestine" into the "Land of Israel."
He said that any zionist who depends on the Arab population accepting a Jewish state on their lands, might as well withdraw from zionism because that's impossible.
Zionist colonisation must either stop, or else proceed regardless of the native population. Which means that it can proceed and develop only under the protection of a power that is independent of the native population – behind an iron wall, which the native population cannot breach.
And then he says that this Iron Wall is the British Mandate and the Balfour Declaration - they're the power that stops Palestinians from resisting us.
He says that despite this, zionism is moral and just, so justice must be done, zionism must move forward. He just wants to be honest about what it takes. He wants to discourage talks of an agreement to avoid signaling to the British that they must try to reach one between us and Palestinians. Just stop them from fighting us, we'll colonize the place.
Zionism was openly colonialist until this language was no longer politically useful.
Editing because I was kinda shocked by the response this got, in several moments. When the slavery of US founders was brought up to dismiss this whole thing. When First Nations reservations were brought up on the same list as the United States as equivalent to Israel, because I said I oppose the existence of a country that prioritizes one ethnic group at the expense of others, and I support democracy that protects everyone equally.
But another thing that's still nagging at me is the idea that this whole essay can be dismissed based on semantic arguments, like sure this uses the word colonialism, but is it actually the colonialism that we talk about and oppose? And what if this word is only used to appeal to the British for support?
This isn't the the first time that prominent zionist thinkers talk about zionism as a colonialist movement. I saw it in old publications, things like magazines, I'd be posting them too if I found them again. I did my own deconstructing years ago, I don't remember where I found all my sources.
I do remember that they talked about the two concepts together - the idea that we're here to colonize, and that we're here to come home. So nowadays there's the arguement that people can't colonize their own homeland, but to them there was no contradiction. I saw it again looking at Herzl's diary last night.
I say I define colonialism through actions and tactics, through the harm that's done to the victims of colonization. Because if we knowingly repeated the actions of colonizers and used the help of an imperial force to conquer a land, having a historic connection to it shouldn't absolve us.
Jabotinsky didn't write to the British in this essay. He wrote to other zionists who wanted to aim for something more collaborative with Palestinian Arabs. And it's true that word choice can mean different things in the context of the time, but there's a reason I chose those quotes. What is he actually saying in this essay?
Consider colonization throughout history - the native population never agreed, so we must do the as colonizers did in the past.
Palestinians will never agree to a Jewish state - so we must do it by force. We should use an imperial force as an "iron wall" to prevent them from resisting. Stop talking about an agreement because then the British will try to reach one instead of holding them back and letting us do our thing.
He's comparing the zionist movement to other efforts of colonization, to talk about emulating them.
This isn't a game of semantics. I'm not just bringing this up just because he used the words.
What he's describing - conquest by force, preventing a Palestinian state, forcibly creating a Jewish majority - is what happened. And it's still what's happening.
This is the branch of zionism that went into practice and founded Israel.
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rae-writes · 1 year
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An Angel...
om demons x reader (+Simeon, Solomon)
wc : 1.k
warnings : simping bois, humor, some sprinkled suggestive comments
synopsis : a deviltok trend has the boys on their knees for you (though that’s nothing new)
a/n : this audio scratches an itch in my brain and I needed to do something with it
angel ver. 
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<Asmodeus> GUYS!!!  YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS!!!! NOW!!!!! LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
[attachment sent]
Casually clicking on the video file, his interest peaked immediately when he saw you. Clad in your RAD uniform, you were positioned in frame a couple steps back. 
“Who are you?” 
He watched you slowly stalk forward with a smile on your face; it was both reassuring and off putting. Only someone like him would be able to notice. 
“An angel…”
You held out your hand towards the camera gently, as if beckoning someone closer. 
“What’s your name?”
The transition was fast— smooth. In an instant, your hand came up and grabbed the phone, like you were choking someone, causing the frame to shake. 
“Satan.”
Once the shaking transition stopped, with your hand still in its previous position, his mouth dropped. You had completely transformed yourself into what he assumed is your version of their demon form. 
Realistic black sheep horns protruded from your head, curling backwards around your ear and ending at your middle jaw. There were light purple extensions added here and there, blending with your hair perfectly. Your free hand had come up to splay over your malicious grin- showing off the fangs you’d added and the sharpness of your new nails. The outfit you wore was revealing- black with shiny accents and shiner jewelry - easily showing the intricate marks you’d drawn over the exposed skin. 
[8 people saved a video attachment] 
Lucifer
His stupidly handsome face forms the most obnoxious smug smirk imaginable 
Don’t get me wrong, he was absolutely flustered. On the inside. 
On the outside though, he radiated pride and smugness 
Like ‘yeah. That’s my Mc. mine. Eat it.’ 
Not that he would ever speak those words. Totally not
Was he also slightly bugged that Asmo seemed to be the only one who had access to this video? Sure. 
Was he gonna make sure his brothers, Diavolo, and Barbatos deleted this from everything they owned? Of course. 
But first, he’s gotta get you to dress up like that for him in person 
Mammon
Mans was astonished. Eyebrows had shot through the heavens, mouth was dropped down to sea floor level, cheeks were a blazing inferno— he was in awe 
First thought : ‘HELL YEAH, MC, YA LOOK HOT!’ 
Second thought : ‘WAIT HOLD UP, THE OTHERS ARE SEEIN THIS TOO-‘ 
Really though, Mammon is just so in awe at how gorgeous you looked 
especially in that gold he knows he bought you
Immediately takes a screenshot of you in that getup and makes it his home screen wallpaper
Then he texts you, begging demanding you dress up like that again because he wants to make videos with you in his demon form too!
I mean, if he doesn’t get to have his hands all over you and his mouth on you like that, how will anyone get the message you’re only for him?
Levi
Someone call the equivalent of 911 for the Devildom, Levi might just be coding 
Actually- don’t even worry about it, he’s just a big puddle on the floor! No worries! 
He. Is. FLUSTERED! Flustered doesn’t even begin to cover it really- 
Levi can't breathe, can’t talk, can’t even wave his hands around frantically to express his lost words
Irl version of a windows restart. 
But as soon as he does reboot, he’s doing his best impression of Oprah into his pillow with how high pitched he’s screaming 
Would love to take a picture with you in that outfit while he’s in his demon form or have you sit on him 
He’ll send you a bunch of emojis in show of his approval but his normal skin tone still isn’t visible under the blush for hours
Satan
Smug as fuck about the audio itself. Definitely silently bragging
Aside from that, Satan is absolutely willing to kneel for you in that outfit 
He’s studied with you on seductive speechcraft but this? He was not ready
Has to take a minute to get his bearings together and to wipe that blush off his face
Satan’s actually pretty speechless for a good 30 minutes 
Not that he’d let you know. He will, however, be telling you how fucking good you looked
Wants to ask if you’ll walk around town with him in his demon form too so everyone can see 
Power couple ™— Take that Lucifer 
Asmo
Azzy is on his knees in an instant- pliant and ready for you to fucking step all over him 
The moment he saw the video he was liking, favoriting, commenting, saving, sharing- everything 
He’d suggested something similar for you to do in the past but you just. 
You went light years beyond what he was expecting the outcome to be and he is here for it 
#1 supporter and immediately is coming up with different- sexier -outfits for you to wear
Will ask, beg if he has to, if you’d come have a photo shoot with him (surprisingly he mainly wants to take photos of just you) 
Admitting to anyone who listens that your beauty is absolutely on par with his 
On his way to your room right this instant- but only after he shares the video with the others 
Beel
Choked. 
You’d think he hadn’t ate in years with how much he was drooling but no
He was just looking at you in that outfit. Which he thought was amazing. 
You are easily the most delicious thing he’s ever laid eyes on (“Gorgeous too…”) and he can’t wait to tell you to your face 
Wonders if you’d have a tail or wings if you really did have a demon form 
Wants to ask Diavolo if there’s magic to make you a real, temporary demon form to find out
Please come to one of his Fangol games dressed like that. He’d promise to win for the rest of the season- and succeed
Overall flustered with his cute blush present, but unlike Satan or Levi, he doesn’t mind showing you 
Belphie
Two words : “holy. fuck.” or alternatively : “fuck. me.”
He is sprinting- yes, sprinting- throughout the fucking house and barreling straight through your door
On his knees faster than Asmo was and is ready at light speed to crawl at your feet and wrap his arms around your leg 
All of his usual curt expressions are thrown out the window without a care in the world
No pure thoughts behind those doe eyes. Not a single one. 
Convinces you to let him take a picture from underneath you while you’re choking him to put as his lock screen because he needed it
Will not be letting you go for the next 24 hours or longer
Fakes innocence like a pro when the others accuse him of hogging you to himself (“they are mine” he snips, even though you have the metaphorical leash right now)
Barbatos 
Mmmmmm, the silent simping is strong in this one
He was simultaneously so fucking ready and so very much not ready for that
Does not know what to do with himself for the next 2-7 business days
Had to put down shit he was cleaning multiple times before he broke something (because you actually broke him)
Straight up doesn’t even ask to show up in your room this time, he just does and immediately beelines to shove his face into your neck 
No, his ears are not red. I believe you might be color blind Mc…
Won’t outright admit how badly you affected him- he just lets out a small ‘you look lovely’ like yeah, Barb? Just lovely? 
Please wear this to the next formal event you attend to watch him lose his cool for split second intervals all night
Diavolo 
If he didn’t have millennia of training on composure, he’d been screaming as loud as Levi 
Instead he settles for slamming his hand on his desk like that meme Asmo showed him 
Concerning his butler a bit, but Diavolo is a proud simp- he ADMITS it
Please come sit on him. Let HIM sit on YOU, for all he cares
You look so good?? What the fuck?? Marry him?? (<<exact texts he sends you)
Tries to find ways to give you a real demon form before getting scolded
Volunteers whole heartedly to let Asmo take pictures of both of you while you’re dressed like that
Ring, ring, Lucifer, he’s coming over ASAP, don’t be alarmed when he shows up at the door
Bonus : 
Solomon
Fuck this man is so down bad for you
I mean, he knew that before but this is just something else, Mc, what have you done to him? 
Knows you’re still human but god does he crave having your pact mark seared into his body (it’s a guilty pleasure of his)
Maybe you’ll just create one and tattoo it on anyway
No second thoughts, teleports to your room immediately to yank you into a kiss
Door is locked- Solomon refuses to let the brothers snatch you away from him rn
Please get on top of him and show him how real your fake fangs and nails feel
Will actually beg without a fight
Simeon
Thinks he should not find this as attractive as he does but the heat flooding through his body disagrees
Gets so hot and flustered, it would be concerning if he wasn’t an actual angel 
Drinks a whole ass cup of water in less than 2 seconds 
Personification of ‘hold my mf halo’ as he makes his way to your place once he calms down a bit
Yes, he’ll take pictures with you with his wings on display and yes, he may or may not be into this (and if you start a little roleplay with him? He’s ascending.)
Don’t tease and make fun of him, he can’t help it! He’s not trying to blush- though he isn’t trying to hide it either
Lies through his teeth without hesitation when he gets questioned about the faint lines on his shoulders 
Heaven’s filthiest angel, on brand
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stangalina · 6 months
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Jaskier has found a very effective method of diffusing tense situations involving Geralt and the various dimwitted and judgemental humans they're forced to interact with.
Unfortunately, enacting this method has about a fifteen percent chance of earning him a knee to the sternum afterwards.
Though it is usually worth the risk, since this method works one hundred percent of the time.
The method is thus:
Sit on him.
It works like a charm.
Allow me to elaborate.
It's very difficult to be scared of someone, no matter how intimidating their features or bone-chilling their stare, when they just sit still and do not question a fully grown man flopping down onto their lap. It does wonders for a tense prejudiced atmosphere inside a tavern. Given, the mood only changes from tense to confused. But confused isn't planning to stone them both out of town so he'd consider it a win.
Getting to sit on Geralt's leather clad and very impressive thighs is also a win in of itself, obviously. The knee to the gut only comes if he pushes his luck or gets too handsy.
Different variants of this method also work. Such as wrapping himself around Geralt's abdomen like a stray piece of seaweed so the merchant will stop looking like he's about to piss himself and actually catch his breath long enough to sell them something.
Murmurs of Witchers being infested with infectious diseases can be silenced by Jaskier grasping Geralt's chin while talking to him in a show of feigned annoyance. Perhaps a gentle touch to the cheek if he's feeling tender, or a light tap on the nose to be playful.
Depending on how Geralt is feeling, he will either ignore Jaskier, or play along. It doesn't matter which one he chooses, as the method still works either way.
It's the people equivalent of putting a collar on a wolfhound and having its lead be held in the mouth of a perfectly groomed poodle wearing boots and a waistcoat. No less dangerous. But a hell of a lot less intimidating.
And if Jaskier is secretly using this method as an excuse to get Geralt more comfortable with physical contact for totally innocent reasons, then that's nobody's business but his own.
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mawofthemagnetar · 3 months
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Father's Day
“So, hold on a minute,” Iskall held his hands up, “back up, because I must have missed that. You’re a FATHER?”
“Well, yeah?” Jevin shrugged, scrolling through his comm, “What’s so hard about that to believe?”
Iskall, by way of a reply, simply gestured at Jevin’s person from his head to his slimy feet.
“So? Okay, yeah, I guess it- is a little hard to fathom. I do, uh, have a certain- aura of coolness around me. But yeah, no, I’m a dad. And a damn good one, too. I mean, a slime-dad, which is a little different than a regular dad. But for a slime-dad, I’m top-shelf. Of course.”
“Uh-huh. And how does a slime-dad differ from a regular dad?” Iskall folded his arms.
“I don’t gotta, uh, chase after my kids as much as you guys do. They’re pretty much ready to go once they hit full-size. I do my bit by checking up on them periodically. Anyway, point is, I gotta go. My kids are throwing a father’s day bash, and I can’t be late.”
Iskall rubbed his temples.
“Okay, couple questions. One, father’s day was three months ago. Two, is there a Missus Jevin you’ve got stashed away somewhere? Or a Mister Jevin? Or-“
“…Why would another person be involved?” Jevin asked, tilting his head with a squish of slime, “Like, literally, why? Who needs help to become a parent?”
“…Uh…you know what? No. You want to learn about the parrots and the bats, go talk to Keralis.”
“Sure, whatever. Anyway, to answer your second question, it’s ‘cause if you try to do father’s day on the actual, like, day, renting a big enough hall is stupid expensive and it’s all just kind of dumb. And a hassle. So we host it whenever.”
Jevin glanced up from his comm.
“Wanna come? Meet my kids, I mean.”
Iskall rubbed his forehead.
“Sure, why not. Hit me with it.”
They tapped their comms together, and Jevin clacked his jaw together- the slime equivalent of a smile.
“Okay, so uh…All my kids know you guys as their aunts and uncles. So if they start calling you “auntie Iskall-“
“-Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m used to it.” Iskall nodded, “Should I wear something special?” 
Jevin waved a hand. 
“Nah, don’t worry about it. You’re fine as you are. Anyway, let’s go. Not good to keep my kids waiting!” 
And Jevin tapped a few options on his comm and vanished. 
<iJevin has left the game.> 
Iskall shrugged, tapped over to his server list, and selected the option for the Hub, with the teleport coordinates visible in the centre. 
He tapped it, and vanished. 
<Iskall85 has left the game.>
When Iskall opened his eyes again, he was standing outside a colossal building, looking like some kind of conference centre. It was made of smooth quartz, with a fake parking lot full of fake vehicles that had clearly taken some builder a long time to put together. 
Jevin was standing there, tapping his sneaker impatiently, the blue slime slosh-slosh-sloshing against the ground. 
“Alright, c’mon, let’s get moving.” Jevin huffed, “We’re already a couple minutes late, and my kids worked really hard to put this on.” 
“I’m coming, I’m coming…” Iskall muttered, brushing off his pants and following Jevin towards the doors.
Iskall was assuming that Jevin’s family would have set up a few tables in a corner. He was a slime; and the way Jevin was talking, Iskall had assumed a big family. Maybe ten kids? That would be a pretty big family. 
Then Jevin and Iskall stepped into the conference hall. 
“HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, DAD!” 
Several thousand slimes bellowed all at once, a wall of sound so deafening that Iskall could feel his bionic eye nearly shake out of its housing. 
He blinked his one eye, darting it around the room in shock. There were hundreds of small tables around which sat an unfathomable number of slimes in all colours of the rainbow. The room was a riot of wild fashion choices, and a deafening rumble of clattering bones and squelching bodies.
“I- I-” Iskall stammered, as he reached up and tightened the nut holding his robotic eye onto his skull’s mounting post.  
“HEY EVERYONE!” Jevin shouted back, “THANK YOU!” 
“Is that Uncle Iskall?” a deep voice said eagerly, “It’s so nice to meet you!” 
“You have…THOUSANDS…of children. Not ten. Not twenty. Not even a hundred. THOUSANDS.” Iskall stammered. 
“Yeah. I’m, uh, the father of all slime hybrids. It’s not a big deal, to be honest. Some other slime would’ve absorbed a skeleton and decided to think about itself if I hadn’t.” Jevin shrugged. 
“All. Of them. ALL OF THEM.” Iskall clutched his head in his hands.
“Yeah? It’s not that difficult. You just, like, shed some slime on a large enough pile of biomass, it’ll grow into a kid. How is this so confusing for you? That’s probably where humans come from.” Jevin shrugged. 
He rubbed his slimy hands together with a hideous squelch, and started traveling through the room, eagerly greeting each and every one of his kids. 
Iskall staggered over to the snack table, piled high with compost, cinderblocks, and beer. He popped a bottle, and started chugging it.
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13uswntimagines · 4 months
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I'll Take Care of You (Alessia Russo x MMA!fighter R)
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Request: Could we maybe see some slightly more stern dom alessia dealing with r (doesn’t have to be smut) in front of the team because reader starts acting bratty with them?
Part of the same universe as the come down.
Warning: Slight touching but not actual smut. Also D/S fic
Author's note: Hey Y'all, i really hope you enjoy this. I want to point out that D/S dynamics are based on trust and communication, so that's what I chose to focus on. Alessia is a soft dom, and chooses a punishment that she knows will be effective. If you want to chat or have any ideas or comments, feel free to hit me up.
Gearing up for a fight was the equivalent of stretching out a rubber band to its limit. It was 8 weeks of nonstop training, 4 weeks of conditioning your body to shed water so you could make weight, 2 weeks of cameras following you around for UFC embedded, and 1 week of media bombardment where you had to listen to grown men act like 5-year-olds talking about who was going to beat who.
It was utterly exhausting. 
The only upside was that at the end of it, you got to step into the octagon and do what you did best. 
You got to put the plan your coaches drilled over and over into your brain into place. You got to release all of the built-up anxiety and frustration from camp. 
You got to fight. 
It was like coming up for oxygen after being trapped underwater. Sometimes the cage felt like the only place you could really breathe on your own. 
It had been your safe haven for almost as long as you could remember, which was kinda strange considering your health was put at immediate risk every time you stepped inside. It had been your escape from your family, and your only coping mechanism for as long as you could remember. 
To go through training camp, and fight week and the weight cut, only to have your fight pulled at the last minute was fucking devastating. 
It was like when Alessia brought you all the way to the precipice of an orgasm and then pulled away just before you could tumble over it, except far far far worse. 
It made your blood boil. It made the monster in your chest roar that your opponent couldn’t do his end of the job to make the fight go on after all of the shit he was talking. And there was nothing anyone could say or do to make it better. 
Dana promised that the fight would be rescheduled. He even threw in that if you won, you would be next in line for a title shot. 
But it didn’t help. 
The fight was set to be at the O2 arena, meaning your girlfriend and all of her teammates had been set to see you, and now they couldn’t. You couldn’t get your 10 training weeks back and you would have to do the weight cut all over again. 
It was a shit sandwich, and it made you feel completely out of control. It made you crave for someone else to put you right again. For Alessia to remind you that she had control always. 
Maybe that’s why you chose your satin button-down shirt to go to dinner with your girlfriend and her teammates and paired it with tight black skinny jeans. 
It wasn’t often that you liked to push Alessia’s control. That you toed the boundaries that she set, but tonight it felt like the prize comparable to stepping into the cage. 
With the little black dress she had worn, you really couldn’t blame yourself either. You could never resist when she showed off her legs. You were obsessed and she knew it. It was probably why she had chosen the outfit, to begin with. 
It was probably designed as a reward of sorts for after your fight, except you weren’t having a fight. So you supposed it was kind of like a consolation prize. 
Except you felt wound too tightly to really enjoy it.
“So that’s it, they just call the whole thing off?” Ella asked leaning forward to rest her chin in her hand.
“Yep,” You popped the p, your finger running a gentle circle on Alessia’s exposed knee. “I can’t even sign a paper that says I’m fine fighting him despite the failed drug test, and it’s too late to find a replacement even if we allow a catchweight,” 
She let the movement continue, the hand wrapped around your shoulder gently squeezing the arm furthest away from her. 
While she was relieved that the rules prevented you from fighting a man on steroids, she knew how gutted you were about the cancellation.
“Probably for the best mate,” Leah said, sipping her wine. 
You shrugged, letting your finger trail a little higher on Alessia’s leg. 
It was slightly too… forward for the steakhouse her teammates had chosen, but with the dimmed lights you figured no one could see your hand under the white tablecloth anyway. Not with how close you were sitting to your girlfriend. 
“I already made weight, so it’s kind of a waste,” You muttered, dragging your nails up the inside of her thigh to just below the hem of her dress. “I’ll have to start camp all over again unless I take something short notice,” 
“Can you do that?” Mary asked, from your other side.
You shrugged again. “I told Dana I was game if he needed someone to fill in, so we’ll have to see,” 
Alessia’s eyebrows pulled tighter together “You didn’t tell me that, love,” 
“Didn’t I?” You asked, feigning dumb, as your fingers finally made it past the hem of her dress. “Must have forgotten. I’m excited to see you all play on Tuesday though,” 
You ran your nail across the sensitive skin on the inside of her thigh, dangerously close to her center. But before you could make it any further, her free hand caught your wrist, and repositioned you so your hand was resting very innocently near her knee again. 
“Ireland is always fun to face,” Ella smiled at you. “Should be a bit chippy,” 
“I’ll definitely be rocking my MacCabe jersey,” You matched her expression, your thumb again beginning to rub circles into Alessia’s skin. 
Leah frowned, dropping her menu. “You will?” 
“Absolutely,” You smirked, wiggling your eyebrows and slyly trailing your thumb back up Alessia’s thigh. “Gotta support my favorite foul-mouthed Gooner,” 
Leah’s eyes went wide, and Alessia squeezed your shoulder. 
“And what about me?” Your girlfriend asked, a pout pulling at her lips. 
You wiggled your eyebrows, a witty remark at the tip of your tongue, knowing it would piss her off, but the tension in your chest made you unable to stop yourself. 
You wanted to push her. To force a reaction, even when you knew all you had to do was ask for what you wanted. 
“Are you ladies ready to order?” A waiter asked, appearing behind Leah before you could let it fly. 
You let your smirk widen, closing your menu with a thud and making eye contact with the waiter. 
“Since she’s not on the menu,” You started, leaning closer to your girlfriend for just a second, edging your hand even further up her thigh until it was again past the hem of her dress. “I think I’ll have the tomahawk, medium rare with a Yorkie and the roasted carrots please,” 
You winked at the waiter for good measure as the table giggled and Alessia’s cheeks turned bright red. 
The waiter cleared his throat, turning his attention to your girlfriend. “And for you ma’am?” 
Alessia opened her mouth, probably to order, but you cut her off instead. 
“She’ll take the sirloin, medium with the Orzo and kale salad,” You said, reciting her normal order with perfect precision. “And she’ll be having me for dessert later,” 
More giggles erupted from your friends, and you dragged your hand impossibly higher, extending your pinky so it brushed against her underwear. 
She inhaled sharply next to you, sending you a warning side eye as the rest of the table continued to order, but she didn’t immediately remove your hand. 
You ignored her warning, letting your pinky slide over the satiny fabric of her underwear. 
It wasn’t what she normally wore, and you couldn’t help the wolfish grin that took over your features. 
She had worn lingerie for you. 
Maybe that should have stopped you. Made you consider that you wouldn’t get anything if you kept pushing, but again you couldn’t seem to help yourself. 
“Will you be in the Ireland friends and family section then?” Leah asked, wiggling her eyebrows at your girlfriend. “Cause I don’t think my family or Less’ will enjoy you wearing the opposing team’s jersey,” 
You made a noise like you were considering it as you finally slid your hand up and cupped your girlfriend’s heat. “I don’t think I’d feel at home though. Surely your family can deal with it right Less?”
Alessia nodded once, very stiffly. “My family loves you no matter what you’re wearing,”
You smiled impishly at her, adding just a little more pressure to her core. 
She shifted in her seat, leaning very close to your ear, as Ella started talking about some movie she and Joe had watched, taking the attention of the rest of Alessia’s teammates. 
“They’d even love you if you had to wear your collar at the game,” She chuckled darkly in your ear, her voice soft enough to get lost in the noise of the restaurant as her free hand yet again caught your wrist and pulled your hand back to a much more innocent position. “Now behave, or I promise you’ll regret it,”
You pulled away, your devilish smirk only getting broader. “No,”
Her eyebrows furrowed her expression something between anger and concern and warning, like she was trying to figure out why you were pushing the boundaries when you never did before. 
You wiggled yours in return, offering her nothing else before joining the conversation of her teammates. 
You weren’t ready to talk yet. 
You were too content digging yourself deeper and deeper. 
*****
You continue to push Alessia all throughout dinner, taking every opportunity to make her blush or to creep your hand further up her thigh. At one point you had even wiggled a finger beneath her underwear before she could stop you. 
And your behavior hadn’t stopped once you left the restaurant. 
You definitely placed your hand far too low on her waist as you and your friends walked back to the hotel the UFC had rented for you, and winked cheekily at the fans as you entered the building, spending far too long signing things and flirting just to annoy your girlfriend. 
You knew from the “come on darling,” and the way she wrapped her arm around you, her fingers closing gently around the back of your neck that you were in serious trouble as she led you into the hotel and to the elevator. 
“Good luck mate,” Leah nodded towards you as she stepped into her hotel room after Mary and Ella. “Think you’re gonna need it after that show,”
She tilted her head toward your girlfriend glaring a hole in Leah’s doorframe. 
“Good night Leah,” Your girlfriend bit out, pressing her thumb into the space at the very center of the back of your neck.
Leah rolled her eyes at the movement, well aware of the dynamic between you and your girlfriend. More aware than most of her teammates for both club and country because of how long you had known her. “Right you two, do have too much fun,” 
You stared at the door for a long moment after it closed, the tension in your chest bleeding down to your stomach.
You knew your time was up. That you would have to pay the piper so to speak, and it had guilt swirling along with the unpleasantness. 
You knew that all you had to do was utter a word and it would all be over. 
You knew that Alessia would stick to your limits, no matter how hard you pushed her, but you couldn’t help the… lingering anxiety that came from your past relationships. 
The ones that took advantage of your submissiveness, and the unhealthy way you had always chosen to deal with stress. The ones that ignored your pain for their own pleasure. 
 “Come on then,” Alessia said, very gently running the nail of her thumb down the length of the back of your neck, and squeezing your shoulder. 
You hummed, allowing her to lead you down the hallway to your own hotel room door, but she paused before she opened it. You looked up at her, realizing suddenly that you were trapped between her and the door. 
She stepped closer so your noses were nearly touching. She dragged her hand from your neck to your chin, using her thumb to tilt your head to where she wanted it. 
“I love you,” She said, her voice soft and sincere. “No matter what,”
She leaned in the last centimeter separating you, connecting your lips in a very sweet kiss. 
You leaned into it, opening your mouth when her tongue poked out, welcoming it and meeting it with your own so they spun in a slow dance. 
It was the reminder that you desperately needed. 
The promise that she would take care of you, even when you acted like a brat. 
She pulled away just enough to disconnect your lips, and your mouths separated with a low pop.
“Remind me of your colors,” Alessia said, her thumb running across your cheek. 
“Green for good, yellow for slow down, and red for stop,” You recited, your voice breathless. 
“Good girl,” She hummed. “Open the door, and take off your shirt and pants once we get inside,” 
You swallowed hard at the change of tone. 
“Yes Miss,” You said, already pulling the key card from the back pocket of your jeans. You didn’t look away from her as you fumbled until you heard the lock on the door beep, and clumsily pushed it open. 
You stumbled backward, unwilling to break eye contact with your girlfriend because you knew you would probably get very little of it tonight. 
She turned away from you as soon as the door slammed shut, busying herself with something you didn’t know. 
“I believe I told you to do something,” She said, not even sparing a look over her shoulder at you, and you realized you had been staring for too long. 
You cleared your throat, your fingers trembling as they unbuttoned your straining shirt. 
You carefully pulled the satin materials from your shoulders, folding it neatly and laying it on the bed before you started on your pants. 
It took you three tries to undo the button, the zipper getting caught in the stretchy material of your boxers. You peeled your tight jeans down your legs, folding them and placing them next to your shirt. 
You felt Alessia’s presence behind you as you pulled off your shoes and socks. 
As soon as they had been placed in their rightful place, her hand found its way to your bare back. 
The touch was soothing and grounding and exactly what you needed to combat the slightly floaty feeling in your brain. 
The hand slid up your back, all the way to your neck. 
“Kneel,”
The soft squeeze on the back of your neck was like magic, as was the soft, but stern order. 
You sank to your knees without question, your butt resting on your heels, your hands facing palm up on your thighs, your back straight and your head bowed, as the tension in your chest slowly ebbed away.
“I think we need to have a chat,” She continued, the hand on your neck sliding up to run through the hair at the base of your skull. Her nails scratched soothingly at your scalp. “Because your behavior in the restaurant is not the behavior of the good girl I trained,”
You grunted, glaring at a spot in the carpet. 
You didn’t want to talk. 
You already had to talk to Dana, to your coaches, and to the media. You had nothing left to say. 
“Do you want to tell me what that was about at dinner?” She asked you, the fingers on your scalp wrapping through your curls. She gave it a sharp tug, forcing you to look up at her. “Because I’d really like to know what the fuck you were playing at,” 
Her blue eyes burned into you, concerned and… something else lingering below the surface. 
“I wasn’t playing at anything,” You grit out. 
She raised a perfect eyebrow at you, as she searched your face.
“Is this because your fight was canceled?”
You didn’t answer her, unwilling to admit how… off balanced it made you feel. 
But that was enough of an answer for her. 
Her eyes softened minutely. “Baby,” 
You shook your head. 
You didn’t want her sympathy or her pity. 
You wanted her to crush you. 
“Alright,” She signed, tilting your head back so far it was painful. “I’m going to give you 2 options. We can call Clarke and Lexa and they can run you through a workout,” 
You shivered at the mention of your respective striking and jujitsu coaches, knowing already that whatever the alternative was, you would be choosing it. 
“Or you can take a punishment of my choosing,” She finished. “It won’t be an easy one,” 
“I’ll take a punishment,” You muttered after a beat. 
You didn't need easy right now. 
She hummed, holding you close for a long second, and you relished in the attention. 
That had been why you acted out at all anyway. 
She dropped her hold on your hair suddenly, and you crashed back on your knees. 
“On the wall,” She said, completely cutting contact with you, and walking towards the little kitchen area of the suite. 
You let out a shaky breath, pushing yourself to your feet, and shuffled over to the wall next to the television across from the couch. 
You turned to face the couch, wincing when Alessia pulled a wine glass out of the cabinet and a jug of water from the counter and returned to you. 
She carefully filled the glass to the halfway mark, before her attention turned to you. 
You knew immediately what punishment she had chosen. 
The rules were simple, you would balance the glass in one of the designated calisthenic positions. If the water spilled, or the glass fell then you would move to the next position. The punishment would be over when you made it through all 15 positions to Alessia’s satisfaction, or if you safeworded. 
It sounded easy, or like it wouldn’t be effective, but that was entirely wrong. It was the punishment that you hated the most. 
Your stomach never failed to drop when Alessia approached you with the wine glass and water. Just the sight of her with it was enough to have your muscles quivering at the impending fatigue. 
“Ready darling?”
You made a low sound, leaning back against the wall, bending your knees, and getting into the first position. 
A wall sits with your knees pressed together to focus the pressure on your quads. 
She used a hand on your shoulder to push you further down the wall until your thighs sat parallel to the floor, and then very carefully balanced the stem of the wine glass between your knees so the base just barely brushed your hamstring. 
You frowned. She usually balanced it on top of your legs further up your thighs so all you had to do was stay level. But where it was now meant that you would have to stay level and squeeze with your adductors so it didn’t slip and spill the water. 
“Tell me your color,” She said, her thumb sweeping under your chin, drawing your eyes away from the glass to meet her blue. 
“Green,” you murmured, leaning into the gentle touch. 
“Good,” She hummed, cupping your cheek for another long second before she pulled away. “I’ll be right there, reading my book,” 
Your gaze trailed after her as she settled herself on the couch directly across from you, picking up the 7 Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. She easily found her page and began to read. 
You glanced back to the balancing glass between your knees. It was already shaking slightly, the liquid vibrating around the bowl of the glass with the effort of your muscles to keep it in place. 
It irritated you that you could already feel your quads and adductors quivering. It was pathetic that they were already fatigued after only 30 seconds. 
You grit your teeth, letting your hips slip down further so you could squeeze with your glutes to take a little bit of the pressure off of your adductors. The glass shifted minutely, and the water inside sloshed dangerously before it settled. 
Your eyes flickered back up to Alessia, wondering if she saw it too, but her eyes stayed planted in her book. 
That irritated you too. 
The only upside to your fight being canceled was that you got to spend more time with her. You wouldn’t have to split your attention between her and not getting your face caved in. 
Now you didn’t even have that. 
You thought of safewording and forcing an early end to your punishment. It would be a violation of the rules though.
But when she found out that you broke her trust (the most severe infraction you could ever commit) she might choose a more… harsh punishment. One of the ones that was listed in the soft limits the two of you had agreed upon. One that would separate you from reality, and leave you feeling floaty and thoroughly controlled. Thoroughly owned. 
A part of you wanted her to forcibly put you in your place. To disregard how bad it would feel tomorrow and the bad memories it would bring up for you, and just demolish you. To crush your will and grind you into dust. To beat you into oblivion. 
It was what your opponent would have done anyway. 
You knew Alessia would never agree to it while you were this upset. She didn’t like to give in to your self-destructive tendencies. 
The glass between your knees shook again, drawing your attention back to the warm fire setting deeply into your quads. They would ache tomorrow you were sure, but then again wasn’t that part of the point?
It would be a reminder that even when she wasn’t with you, you belonged to Alessia. It was an invisible mark that claimed you. That reminded you she would always take control when you felt dangerously unstable. 
And then it clicked.
This punishment was Alessia’s favorite because it was based on your choice to obey her. Your choice to push your body to its limits to please her. Your choice to give her control over you. 
She didn’t need to use a belt or a paddle to bend you to her will. 
She just had to ask. 
You just had to relax and trust that she would take care of you. 
You let out a long breath, counting down from 3 in your head. You let it fall back into the wall with a low thump and your shoulders sagged, as the remaining tension in your chest drained out of you. 
“Good girl,” Alessia said softly, and the page of her book turned. Your eyes darted back to her, hoping that they would be on you, but they weren’t. 
She looked so composed, both legs tucked under her, reading her book. It was diametrically opposed to how you felt, completely out of control. A quivering mess fighting to stay in a simple wall sit. 
It further reminded you of your place, and the weight of it was enough to have your eyes sliding closed. 
You focused on your breathing, 3 seconds and 3 seconds out. Deep and slow. 
You lasted for more breaths before the glass slid from between your legs, landing on the carpeted floor with a light thud. 
Your eyes snapped open, and again you expected to meet Alessia’s eyes, but they remained trained on her book. 
“Next please,” She said softly, flipping another page in her book. 
You slid down the wall to the floor, sucking in another long breath as you nodded, wishing that she would just look at you, but you knew that was part of the punishment too. 
You took another breath as you rolled over to your stomach and sat yourself up on your elbows, squeezing your core. It was a slightly modified plank designed to show off the muscles in your back and arms for the benefit of your girlfriend and to give your legs a break for a bit. 
She waited until you were in a position to stand, slowly padding over to you and grabbing the wine glass off of the floor.
She paused next to you, and you felt the way her eyes dragged across the muscles on your back. 
“Always so pretty for me,” She hummed and you heard the water as she refilled the glass. “Too bad you can’t have the reward I had planned,” 
Her touch lingered as she carefully balanced it between your shoulder blades, and stepped away. 
“Let’s see if you can beat your best time on this one,” She said, talking more at you than to you. “Your record is 22 minutes, which isn’t quite championship timing. I think you need to make it at least 25,” 
You groaned. 
Her competitive streak was legendary and often a part of your punishment when you had been particularly ornery. You switched positions at her pleasure, so you knew you would be planking all night if you couldn’t break 25 minutes. 
It was like when she decided you needed to break your edging record. 
There would be no mercy unless you safeworded. 
You focused on your breathing as she sauntered back to the couch, fighting to keep your core and back muscles locked to prevent the glass from tipping. 
Your abs clenched, and you so badly wanted to roll your shoulders to relieve the tension building in the space between them. The space holding the glass. 
You focused on the sound of Alessia’s breathing. Each rhythmic inhale and exhale like the clicking of a metronome, broken only by the occasional fluttering of a page. 
You wished she had put the timer in front of you so you could see how long you had left. 
But then again that would probably be worse. 
You always found it harder to go the distance in a fight when you could see the clock ticking down. It always made you feel more exhausted at the end of the round, and made standing up off of your stool at the start of the next round that much harder. 
You sucked in another breath, refocusing on the sounds of Alessia’s inhales and exhales. You counted each one, letting them wash over you and lul the fog slowly seeping through the crevices in your brain. 
It let you forget the trembling in your core muscles and the sting between your shoulders. They didn’t matter. All that mattered was each of Alessia’s breaths, and your ability to please her. 
To be honest, you forgot about the water balancing on your back. 
You shifted, lifting your head so you could watch Alessia, and that sent the glass tumbling to the floor with a low thud. 
She looked up at the noise, pushing herself to her feet and grabbing the glass. 
“Good job darling. You made time.” She rewarded you by meeting her eyes for a long second and flashing you a winning smile. “Position 3,” 
You took another deep breath as she filled the glass. 
You pushed yourself up into a pushup position, slowly lifting your right arm and left leg so they extended. 
Your arms shook immediately, and it was then that you recognized just how exhausted you were already. Your core ached in a way that was edging on unpleasant, and your back felt like you had run 5 rounds with your jujitsu coach. 
It was strange that you felt so drained and you had only made it through 2 positions. 
Alessia waited until you were stable before she balanced the glass in the very same area between your shoulder blades. 
The spot that felt so tight.
You knew you weren’t going to last long before she even stepped away. But you tried to breathe through it. You tried to ignore the little beads of sweat collecting at the small of your back, and the cramp setting in just below the glass, radiating up to your neck. 
You deserved the pain. You had done your damndest to make sure Alessia gave it to you. 
“Tell me your color,” Alessia said, her voice dripping dominance, sending a shiver down your spine and causing the glass to tumble off your back. 
You collapsed to the floor. 
You hadn’t even made it a minute. 
“‘M ok,” You murmured into the carpet, each breath rattling as it left your lips.
You hadn’t even lasted long enough for Alessia to make it back to her seat. 
It was pathetic.
“That’s not what I asked you,” She said, crouching next to you, her hand resting on the throbbing space between your shoulders. “Tell me what your color is,” 
Your brain ran into overdrive, taking stock of the burn in your thighs, and the way the muscles in your back were locked up tight, and before you could even think through all the reasons why you shouldn’t safe word, “red,” was falling from your lips. 
You had been red before you even started position 3, you realized. 
“Good girl,” She said, settling fully down beside you, her hand running soothingly up and down your sweat-soaked back. “You did so well for me, and I’m so proud of you for knowing your limits,”
You groaned into the carpet as warmth spread through your chest, chasing away the last of the tightness that had been there since Dana caught you after the weigh-ins. 
“‘M sorry for pushing you,” You mumbled, your words nearly getting lost in the floor. “Didn’t know how to…” 
You trailed off, losing your train of thought. You weren’t even sure what you didn’t know how to do, only that antagonizing your girlfriend. Your miss. Had been the only way that seemed to make sense to achieve it. 
“I know darling,” She hummed, gripping under your arms and shifting so your head was resting in her lap and your upper body was between her legs. “Take some deep breaths for me, and then we’ll get you cleaned up and we can cuddle,” 
You made a low sound of agreement. You felt content with her completely around you, her scent enveloping you, and her hands running gently through your tangled hair. 
She was the stability to your rocky seas, and you trusted that she would take care of you, just like she had already tonight. 
A cuddle sounded perfect because it was perfect. 
It was everything you needed. She was everything you needed. 
545 notes · View notes
decaying-enigma · 2 months
Text
[Space Core AU]
Danny could see it all.
Where the darkness meets the dance of light, a swirling canvas of stardust and celestial wonders—a symphony of colors, shapes, and energies unfurling across the infinite reaches of space.
Their radiant glow casting an aura that just beckoned him to join.
Cosmic tendrils weaved a labyrinth of star clusters, and stellar nurseries gave birth to new stars.
Nebulae shimmered with ethereal beauty, their wispy tendrils reaching out across the void like ghostly fingers.
Supernovae unleashed titanic explosions, scattering the remnants of dying stars across the cosmos in a dazzling fireworks display of light and energy.
Danny could almost feel it wash over his skin.
Black holes lurked in the depths of space, their gravitational pull so intense that not even light could escape their grasp.
Dark matter, the invisible scaffolding of the universe, weaves its enigmatic web throughout the galaxy.
He could hear the countless echoes, all worming their way into his being and, for a moment, pulling him closer and closer to...
""Danny!""
He fell back into his seat instantly, two arms holding him down, as Earth's gravity once again took hold of him.
Blinking rapidly, Danny shook his head, visions of stars and nebulae sliding away.
Yet not completely leaving his mind.
It took him a moment to remember where he was as he turned to Tucker and Sam.
They sat on either side of him, both having a firm grip on him with deeply concerned expressions on their faces.
They were all outside, at a table nestled in the corner of the (thankfully empty) park, and had been in the middle of eating lunch from a new cafe that Sam had wanted to try.
Or, at least, that had been the plan before he decided that gravity was just a suggestion.
"You okay, dude?" Tucker asked, a hand still holding onto him.
"I'm fine," Danny replied immediately.
But judging by the identical unimpressed looks on Sam and Tucker's faces, neither believe him in the slightest.
And rightfully so.
Though they did let go of him, trusting he wasn't about to start floating away again, they were ready to react if it happened again.
Danny sighed.
"I just got distracted for a second."
"You were floating away." Sam pointed it out, making little wiggly movements with her fingers. "Plus, your eyes were doing that weird galaxy thing again.
"That was just some dust," he lied half-halfheartedly.
She raised an unimpressed eyebrow, not buying that for a moment. "Yeah right. If we hadn't pulled you back down, you would probably already be out of the atmosphere by now."
"I would've noticed," Danny murmured, his eyes shifting to the side. "...eventually."
Sam huffed in frustration. "So not the point I was trying to make."
"They are super weird, though," Tucker agreed, then took a bite of his giant BLT sandwich. "But still cool, in the way they turn into terrifying black-holes that they look like the endless and cruel vacuum of space."
Danny stared at Tucker flatly.
"That makes me feel so much better."
"No problem!"
There was a brief silence, only for Tucker to put his sandwich back down, showing just how serious he was, and ask.
"But seriously, dude, are you alright?"
Danny looked down at the table, wanting to ignore his friends admittedly reasonable concerns, and absently twirled the straw of his ice tea.
But, eventually, he gave in.
"I already stopped by the Far Frozen to talk with Frostbite," he finally admitted. "Even ran into Clockwork, who was feeling strangely non-cryptic, and asked him about what was going on."
"So, what'd you find out?" Sam questioned, leaning forward, eager to hear what he had to say.
Danny snorted, an impish grin growing on his face. "Apparently, I don't actually have an ice core."
They both blinked in surprise.
The fact that Danny's core, practically the ghostly equivalent of a soul and a fundamental part of their being, wasn't ice this whole time and was actually something different was... a pretty big deal.
Sam asked, both curious and concerned, "So, what core do you have?"
"Frostbite called it a space core, or, as Clockwork referred to it, a piece of the Void." Danny rolled his eyes. "I'm like, 70% sure, he only called it that to be extra dramatic."
"So the ice powers were just...what? The first side effect before the weird eyes and the 'spacing' out?" Tucker joked with a grin.
Danny chuckled at the pun, while Sam groaned.
"Basically."
"Do you know what powers you are supposed to expect?" Sam asked, hoping they would catch a break this time.
"Not a clue," Danny said, shooting that hope down immediately.
Tucker raised an eyebrow. "Isn't there someone in the Ghost Zone you could ask?"
"It's, like, super rare; I mean, the only other ghost I know with the same core is Nocturn," he explained with an annoyed huff.
They both winced.
Despite not currently being antagonistic with the Ghost of Dreams, Danny and Nocturn's relationship wasn't anywhere close to friendly, even by ghostly standards.
And considering most ghosts could beat each other up, possibly even dismember one another, and still be willing to hang out later, that's saying something.
Danny sighed. "Yeah, I basically had the same reaction."
"Are you sure there's no one else?" Sam pushed, looking for a solution.
"Ghost Zone's a big place and leads to a lot of others, so probably." He shrugged. "But, even if Nocturn or someone else was willing to give me advice, it wouldn't help very much."
Seeing the confusion on their faces, he continued to explain.
"Frostbite gave me a whole lecture about it, but it basically boils down to the fact that, unlike most core elements, space cores express themselves so differently that there's no real set of powers that they share."
Sam slowly nodded, understanding showing on her face.
"So, while one ghost with a space core might be able to make black-holes, another might control gravity or even create stars," she continued, a hint of wonder in her voice.
Danny nodded his head in agreement.
"Hey, for all we know, you might get the power to twinkle really, really brightly instead." Tucker snickered loudly, with Sam quickly following.
Danny dropped his head onto the table, not sharing his friend's amusement in the slightest.
The snickers soon died off, as Danny continued to mope.
"It's probably not that bad." Tucker pointed this out. "You already learned to control the ice part of your powers; you'll figure this part out eventually."
"And we'll be right there when you do," Sam added, fully believing they would find the answer eventually.
"Hopefully not too close. Frostbite mentioned a few...unexpected stabbings the first time around," Tucker muttered under his breath, wincing as Sam punched him in the shoulder.
Danny rolled his eyes.
He wished that he shared his friends confidence in his abilities, but he was nevertheless grateful for the support his two best friends were giving him.
Thankfully, the conversation soon changed subjects from his potential new powers, moving on to talk about a homework assignment for school as they finished their lunch.
Danny made sure to pay attention this time, staying focused on the here and now.
Yet, even as he grinned from the sarcastic joke Sam had made, he could still feel the pull in the background.
He could hear the symphony of celestial bodies, the stars, the nebulae, and the infinite reaches of space in the back of his mind, all calling out to him.
Just waiting for the day that he would give in to the urge, and in the moment of weakness, join them forever and always until the end of time.
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envy-of-the-apple · 1 month
Note
The yan!stsg x reader cheating has me in a chokehold for days actually! As much as its thrilling, vindicating and flattering that these hoes come crawling back(except for gojo? Hes like the newest addition to you so hes just strolling in your 3sum 😭😂), beneath that surface is actually a heavy cesspool of angst(i love angsts!) like thats where your vision of unrequited love in yan trope comes in delicious clutch
Youve forgiven, moved on and stuff— theres no coming back to loving suguru again; but the banger is!!! Amidst your years captivity, you forgot how you started loving suguru. Yep, forgot.
You dont wonder the moot points how suguru is unrecognizable from the time youre with him nor question yourself what made you fell in love with the pos in the first place.
But youre trying to remember how you fell for him in the past because you feel nothing now; indifference, and how jarring you find yourself to be in this predicament— and so that trying to be with the two in your turbulent captivity would be freeing in companionship.
But the thing is, your feelings are like ashes that stsg is trying to ignite again, but you feel nothing; or a blind person trying to perceive colors or stuff.
JUST imagine sugurus pain in the later years, youve got hidden diary in between your cloud docs or written in little receipts thats about your regrets and your love for a person(thats after him) and that love is so full of passion and longing its borderline painful that you tried to get back to feeling any semblance of emotions for suguru but failed. Just suguru pathetically stewing in regret, how he shouldve handled both you and gojo and rage, because you loved another person thats equivalent to how you used for HIM lmaooo
I hope ive articulate my feelings for this prompt quite fine??? Im struggling with english(its my 2nd language), i hope you get the gist of it xD thanks for listening to my rant, but i had to share this brain rot 😭🙏😊
istg if you dont get outta my inbox and wRITE THIS SHIT RN-
ughhh i think its even worse that you've forgiven them, right???? lets face it, it's only cuz of you suguru and satoru were even able to get together. those two fucking suck at communication and you basically taught suguru to love and be vulnerable. maybe, even before the cheating happened, you became friends with Satoru, you talked about things together, he become softer with you and he fell for you. They both loved you, but they loved eachother too.
you forgive them, because of course you do. but it still hurts to see them, so you leave. Maybe you move cities, ignore their phone calls, block their numbers. You meet someone else. Someone who gently puts you back together, makes you learn to trust again.
You forgive Satoru and Suguru enough to send them wedding invitations. It's all water under the bridge, you think to yourself. You don't realize that they still aren't over you. That they will never feel complete without you. They've lost contact with you for years but now you've given them an exact date, time, and location.
They don't care how happy you are with your new partner. All that they care about is how happy they'll make you.
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juneberrie · 9 months
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LOVE IS LIKE THE LOTTERY [ 🐍 ] DEUCE GORGON
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summary ∿ deuce gets jealous when a guy tries to hit on you [ gn ! reader ]
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after cleo and deuce broke up, monster high was desperately in need of a new it couple. and, a few months later, they found one: deuce and you.
deuce had always been popular, or whatever the equivalent was in monster high. by association, you became popular too. and, because you became popular, that meant you got lots of attention.
it wasn't a bad kind of attention; everyone at monster high (with the exception of a few ghouls here and there) was incredibly nice. but a few weeks ago, there was a new student joining. he was some cousin of torelai's and instantly became famous among the student body, particularly the ghouls, for his swoopy shiny hair and lilting voice. and his eyes. girls would swoon if he so much as gave them a cursory glance. but it was you he liked eyeing, and deuce didn't like that one bit.
walking through the maul hand in hand, deuce says, "wanna grab a drink 'fore we leave?"
you nod and the two of you make your way towards the coffin bean. deuce presses a kiss to your forehead, his snakes peppering little reptile kisses to your hairline. "go sit," he smiles. "i got your order, babe."
you thank your loving boyfriend and find a table for two. settling down in your chair, you watch deuce talking to the barista. your phone buzzes and you open it up to see a text from clawdeen.
clawdeen ♡ hows your date w/ deuce going????
y/n ✶ great <3 we're at the coffin bean rn
clawdeen ♡ oooo update me later bae
clawdeen ♡ kiss kiss love you !!
y/n ✶ love u 2 xoxo
hearing the chair scrape the tiled floor in front of you, you look up with a smile expecting to see your boyfriend.
its not. its torelai's cousin. he smirks lazily at you, one arm slung across the back of his chair.
"hey."
"uh.... hi? my boyfriend's actually gonna sit the—"
he waves you off, flashing another grin. "he won't mind, would he?"
"actually, i do mind, purrcy." deuce stands behind torelai's cousin, holding a steaming cup of coffee and a paper bag. "get outta my chair." the snakes on his head hiss at the werecat.
purrcy laughs, a hissy kind of giggle that makes every hair on you stand up. "can't i talk to one of my fellow classmates?" the way he said it made it clear he didn't think of you as a classmate. more as a . . . thing he wanted.
"yeah, well they don't wanna talk to you, dude," deuce snaps. his snakes start getting restless, a few even snapping in purrcy's general direction.
purrcy's head swivels towards you, still with that lazy grin. "well?"
"well what?" you ask. deuce had moved to stand next to you, putting the coffee down and gently placing a protective hand on your shoulder. it was comforting.
"do y'wanna talk to me, baby?"
deuce's fingers twitched on your shoulder. his snakes snapped at the air.
"no."
"see? go hack up a furball," deuce scowls.
purrcy's face darkens and he hisses, "asshole," as he pushes away from the table and stalks off. deuce lets go of your shoulder and moves his chair next to you.
"are you okay?" he asks, opening the brown paper bag and pulling out a pastry. he hands it to you, eyes worried through the lenses of his glasses.
"'m fine, deuce. thank you," you smile, accepting the pastry. laying your head on your boyfriend's shoulder, you take a bite of the delicious treat. he wraps an arm around you, taking a sip of his drink. he's quiet for a few minutes. you sigh and put down your half-eaten pastry.
"deuce. baby." you grab his face and gently turn it towards you. "i don't like him."
"i know," he says, sounding a bit defensive. he looks at you for a few seconds before slumping in his chair and pulling you closer towards him. "i just—" he sighs. "he's such a douche," he concedes.
"i know. but guess what?" you smile. his eyebrows furrow and one of his snakes cocks its head at you, curiously. "love is like the lottery, right? and i have you, so that means—" you press a kiss to the space between his eyes. "—i've won the lottery."
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furrysmp · 5 months
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decided to go sunbringer designs for once. I have so many words oh my god
so. uh,
I am so normal about sunbringer joel smallishbeans so normal I swear. he's planning to throw the o from his name at scott btw.
... he and scar are related but I'm not explaining further until the actual fic about it comes out because there's so much plot significance in the smallishbeans.
... grian. has a book. that he borrowed from the Library. it's very relevant I swear the concept of the library is a plot point.
Also grians eyes are technically green! With a bit of purple and just. a layer of Dark over them to make them less neon green. its not in his genetics to have neon eyes. unlike scar and I swear their eye colors are relevant but like in a weird queerplatonic scarian dl based bit in the grian chapter of the fic
Mumbo is a long cat and being held by me specifically those hands are how I draw my mc skin. I wanted to draw him as this meme since 2021 but he's very hard for me to draw so I took the one time I'll ever draw him and did this.
Jimmy is. a creature. that has bird features but also cod features bc again half of the plot of sunbringer is based on empires 1. Also the bird he's holding is singing. And joel is stealing the song bc he has music type magic.
Scott! Is the one guy I can talk about! Because he already appeared in the fic. He's part ender dragon and like. a child of stars? I have a lot of times I drew him before I think but idk how much of it I uploaded before so yeah. Please ask me about sunbringer scott smajor he's one of the only ones I can talk about and he has so much lore going for him he's so dear to me
impulse is. technically part ender dragon too? the specifics will be explained in his chapter of yhiwu (alongside. a lot of magic lore. like a lot. I have half that speech written already it's basically looking the empires fic in the eyes and going "fight me uwu")
And because impulse is aligned to shadows skizz gets to be some form of light dragon descendant? Like light isn't directly an element in the magic of this universe but it does have an equivalent in the element of Life, which connects to truth and love, whereas shadows and theatrics (and storytelling in general) is always aligned to whatever element is considered dark; in this magic system, being Void.
Tango is looking up at mumbo. thats all. I don't have a lot of notes because my tango is just a little guy.
(Etho is checking smth on his smartwatch and also doing his best to ignore bdubs rn bc bdubs is in his villain arc/hj)
... ngl the only note I have on the bdubs design is that it's accidentally inspired by my human design for the main character in the show I'm writing. Bracelets and sparkly eyes and a t-shirt and. Crimes.
also not much on the cleo design she was just fun to draw but the implications of her existence are spoilers and also not really visually indicative bc idk what a "zombie hybrid" would look like so she just looks. funky. her background is all stitched together btw I finally had a use for the dashed lines brush :D
martyn and ren are. BIG spoilers. But only to like chapter 5 of the current fic. I will say I highly enjoy their existence tho. Also my ren designs always have hawaiian patterned shirts its a personality trait he seems to possess. Also his glasses are like. a hologram? bc his ears are Dog so he cant have normal glasses w like. the things that go behind ur ears.
lizzie is. also very important. she gets the two animals thing like jimmy bc axolotl and cat were her empires animals. also her buns are heart shaped I saw some fanart of that and its really cute so I also have that. and she's also looking at the long mumbo! very confused.
bigb. scares me. like yeah secret life really be mans villain arc. I tried to reflect that by actually straight up mirroring his eyes and having him be. the only guy looking straight at u. he can see u. u can run but u cant hide. also he gets cookies. also also drawing facial hair is hard he's the only time I ever managed to make facial hair look. normal. ever. wont happen again.
gem is being adorable and also definitely a deer hybrid dont mind the magic or stuff its fine (her chapter is. third in the roster. I literally just need to finish the impulse chapter to convince myself that its ok to upload her immediately after ch2).
and pearl! who we know bc she gets first chapter of the fic and thats already out. her eyes are a bit like moons btw. also she's doing magic back at gem which is cute I think. idk.
also half of them have fancy hair shines. like joel having beans that get progressively smaller. or pearl having moons. :D
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the-s1lly-corner · 4 months
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Creepypastas comforting the reader
except some of them arent particularly good at it + as per usual jeff ben and toby are written as platonic everyone else can be seen as either or writing a silly little thing before i tackle in on requests, falling into the same vibe as the "hugging/kissing creepypasta characters" post from last week since i do enjoy rating these lads on thing ehehehe obligatory "these style of posts go over my personal character limit but since this is writing for the admin he bends the rules a bit" anyways uhuh totally dont give me ideas for these eheheh winks
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SLENDERMAN:
not much of a talker in general, and i think that remains true in scenario where you're upset/crying. but he does make it clear that hes here for you... just... in a general sense. you know? refuses to leave you alone unless you directly ask him that you need space; more so watches out of concern rather than his usual curiosity. i think he would make you a warm drink and let you vent to him. more of a logical approach than an emotional one; better at giving solutions rather than giving comfort.. though i like to think that his tentacles will pull you close if you want to lean into him, will let you cry into his shoulder with no judgement. 6/10 low score simply because sometimes one needs comfort in the moment instead of solutions, you know?
SPLENDORMAN:
i think hes the opposite of slenderman. hes all emotions first, logic later. if he already knows you comfortable with it, i think he would come in and scoop you up in a hug.. hell he might even cry with you, or do the equivalent of it (admin is still on the fence of whether or not he has eyes or not! torn between them being actual eyes or markings) will make you your favorite snacks and drinks, all the while letting you cry and vent to him. gets mad on your behalf if someone had done you wrong, does not make your feelings feel small or invalidated. if he could he would confront the person who treated you unfairly.... and in fact he might, who would ever believe the person that they came face to face with a ten foot tall monster? though... this can lead to him being a little quick to make choices that might have big impacts... 7/10 love this man need to write more for him and develop my hcs
EYELESS JACK:
you know now that i think about it, given how much i write for EJ, i swear ive done a similar prompt at some point. regardless of it i did and if my hcs are the same, im going to go ahead and drop my hcs. i think hes very similar to slenderman in terms that hes more of a solutions > emotion person.. though i do think hes more likely to join you in any shit talking if someone did you dirty... do i think he would target that person next when hes going to go 'hunting'? no... unless the person did something truly awful and unforgivable, then he would definitely consider it.. probably wont go through with a harvest, though.. but thats it whole other thing. more of a talker than slenderman, so at least he has that going for him. lets you sleep in his bed if youre venting to him in his cabin 7/10 one point higher than slenderman simply because he talks more n stuff
LAUGHING JACK:
im gonna be so real i think he can go either way if hes going to be good at comforting you. on one hand hes too silly and might not take it too seriously; or he might try to make you laugh.. which COULD work but other times makes it look like he doesnt care about your feelings. on the other hand i think he can give some solid adivce, but thats only based on the fact that i love it when unhinged hyper characters suddenly drop the most valuable info. shrugs. i mean if you need a distraction, i think lj is your man to go to ! he was literally made to entertain so i dont think its going to be too hard for him to take your mind elsewhere. i think he would offer to cook you something but i also think hed probably be banned from the kitchen because he cant cook for shit. has probably set water on fire somehow level shit. so instead you guys just sit together talking... mostly its him leading the conversation, though. doesnt leave you be until you at least give him a smile... 6.5/10 only because i dont know how to rate him here
MASKY/TIM:
oh not at all emotional. well no thats a lie but hes not very emotive. thats the more correct word. look if we're talking about masky, hes probably going to be really bad at comforting you unless your means to be comforted involves being watched... though i do think he would fall into the act of service hole.. does all the chores and such for you so you dont have to worry yourself about cleaning a pan thats been in the sink for two days now. tries his hand at cooking, but i dont think masky is the best cook.. TIM on the other hand.. but we'll get into that in a minute. probably ends in you guys ordering something but hey its the thought that counts. if someone made you upset you notice over the course of the next few weeks that person starts outright avoiding you and overall seems anxious. weird. probably unrelated! 7/10 only because im badly overworked irl and the idea of someone taking charge sounds like a dream
tim i think would be similar, but hes more expressive for you... will cook for you but if your favorite food happens to be really specific or something else, hes probably going to run out and get it. torn on whether or not he would tell you before he goes, or if he sticks to keeping it a surprise.. i think he would tell you just so it doesnt feel like hes abandoning you when youre down..! not much to be said here other than him being supportive 8/10 i would KILL for some white cheddar popcorn rn
HOODIE/BRIAN:
i think he would put you to bed. actually i think both of them would but to keep things clear im still going to divide this like masky/tims. i think hoodie is going to keep you in bed, even if youre not particularly tired. dont bother trying to fight him on it, hes only allowing you to get up for the bathroom. let him take care of things! very similar to masky, picks up on a lot of the chores. i think he can cook, though, definitely better than masky but i dont think hes like. top tier. likes making you little snacks, or food thats generally deemed as comforting (mac and cheese, cornbread, ect). doesnt talk (sign) much but will occasionally sign to you asking how you're feeling 7.5/10 love this man, so mad kid me used to sleep on hoodie
very similar, but an even better cook than hoodie so be prepared to eat good. communicates with you more than hoodie and makes small talk while cooking. i think he would keep the chat lighthearted and on a different topic rather than tackling your feelings, unless you express that you want to vent then hes all ears! not because he doesnt care more so because he doesnt want to seem prying or nosey and wants to give you the choice yourself. sometimes makes jokes about stuff in order to try to get you to smile. feels victorious when he succeeds 8/10 mad i slept on him too
TICCI TOBY:
i think he might actually be TOO strong and in your face when asking you what happened. only one who outwardly offers to krill someone if someone were to make you upset. but thats just because i think toby can occasionally get protective of you. i mean youre one of his best friends (only friends) and here you are upset! if you dont want him to do anything hes going to try to contain himself. he strikes me at the type to retreat to the roof and look up at the stars... i think he would offer to do that with you; but if youre too scared to climb then he can lay out a blanket for you so you guys can go sit on the grass! surprisingly a very good listener, though very emotionally driven and reacts a lot when you tell him the details of your day.. but its nice, i think, reassures you that hes is in fact listening.. 7/10 gives off brother vibes
JEFF THE KILLER:
ohhoho so this is an interesting one, because i like the idea of jeff still acting like an older brother every now and then even after everything. but he also has that attitude of "i dont care about anyone around me and im better than everyone".. more of an actions than words guy. he wont really say it.. you know? one of those "if he actually didnt care then he would bother giving you the time of day, much less break into your house at night with his arms full of your favorite snacks and drinks". good luck trying to vent to him though, i think its rare that he lets anyone vent to him since he also holds the "ew yucky feelings" thing ben has.. though once in a blue moon i think he would let you and give some decent advice... though every now and then that advice involves punching someone 6/10 is fair i think...
BEN DROWNED:
kind of reminds me of how younger siblings will give their older siblings know they like. kind of like the "my brother saw me crying and asked me what my favorite color is... he gave me things in that color" post/image going around that i cannot for the life of me find but i know it exists because it made me cry. i think its like that. except since hes in your phone he already knows what your interests are.. probably pulls up what your comforts and likes are in an attempt to cheer you up. i dont think he would bluntly speak with you about your feelings, but thats just because he thinks heart to hearts are yucky and cringe/lh. uses videos, art, stuff like that. ehehe silly phone ghost 7/10 because as simple as it is, if someone tossed my cc at me i would feel at least a little better for a moment and its the action itself you know?
PUPPETEER:
i thin hes similar to jeff in regard that he tries to play things off but deep down he does care, and that tends to show more through his actions... though i personally think if you were to actually cry then he might lose it a bit, because who DARE? i gotta admit, im still trying to figure out how i want to write pup and what hcs to give him, but i think.. this is an okay take.. might 'confront' anyone who made you upset, with or without your approval which might make some issues between the two of you.. more ready to let you vent to him though, might slip out some mean insults and words about whatever's got you upset regardless of its a person, chance, or object 7/10
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theswordwizard · 7 months
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ai art: both sides
I think a lot of non-artists are also just really and truly not understanding the big picture. I personally could not care less about that cat image, it was fun, whatever, but you are only producing those kinds of images in the sense that an art director "produces" whatever art they are in charge of. They are telling another artist what to do, even guiding them, but they are not considered the artist themselves. Artists who are creating their own art, who are trying to survive off of their work (many of whom have some form of disability, as art is easy to do while sitting down, etc), who are already in the middle of fighting to not just be tossed aside for a product which doesn't even produce the results it claims, are reacting negatively because they are seeing that in parallel with tabling spaces taken up with people presenting generated art as their own illustration, and game devs/producers using it as a way to explicitly avoid paying people for work, while using something that was trained on their work.
"Why do people react so strongly to things possibly being AI art?" If you want to keep it out of the courts, then public opinion matters all the more. It's about a party line that is easily communicable. Most artists are going to be strongly anti-AI because that's the best way to protect themselves than trying to "open a discussion" about it. It's like nurse scabs. We can argue back and forth all day about the intricacies of scabbing for important jobs, but at the end of the day the party line will generally be "scabbing is bad," "we don't like scabs," "scabbing harms workers."
People are trying to compare people getting mad about it to people getting mad about Duchamp's fountain, which just lets me know about their level of art education, and the level of which they like to talk out their ass.
Duchamp's fountain isn't a major point in art history because of the object itself, its because of the STATEMENT. It is because of the placement of the object IN THE GALLERY. It is the equivalent of a political pamphlet, but summed up in a single object that incites discussion around his political statement. It isn't about the object it is about the CONCEPT. We can literally call anything we want "art" if we dedicate ourselves to reframing it and treating it as such, it's just that most non-artists don't even care. They want the label of being an artist without even putting in an effort to. It's like if I wanted to be called a photographer and I wanted people to treat me as such, and so I just made a portfolio of pictures I took off of Pinterest or even a stock photo site, because I've decided that it's the photos I would WANT to take, and thus I can just act like they have anything to do with me.
There have been arguments over much more "similar" things for a long time too. Since the 90s Richard Prince has been taking people's instagram photos, making slight tweaks to avoid copyright, and then printing them large scale and selling them for tens of thousands of dollars. Technically legal, kinda shitty, as he does it without even contacting the (plenty of times, women) original posters. And that's just with selfies people have taken! But I don't see people mentioning that because a lot of people don't like him, and most people arguing to legitimize AI art to be uncontested don't actually care that much about contemporary art. They have zero real interest in being an artist and talking about art to that degree, to have those discussions in a way that isn't validating themselves. Duchamp's fountain in a gallery incites discussion because galleries are places of art discussion. If someone brought a crate of mechanically woven baskets (that they bought from amazon) to a craft fair, people are going to be rightly pissed off. It's about context.
It's also, in my opinion, a similar discussion to the one that was big on twitter not too long ago, where people argued that artists weren't obligated to be able to draw non-white and/or disabled people. Which, sure, but you probably aren't that good of an artist if you don't know how to. And someone going through a portfolio of exclusively white people might go "huh, only white people. interesting." (I even want to include a gotcha here! If an artist has a portfolio of white people, and they have a section talking about their focus being painting their family tree in like, northern Ireland, it's gonna be a totally different story. why, you ask? because there is an underlying concept other than "wow this artist really only likes white people." this is part of the reading comprehension test that will follow.)
And you know what, I'm going to be honest - and this is likely a result of me not being a photographer - but I'm not even really talking all that much about AI photo edits, outside of the large scale implications of what it means that anyone can create a highly realistic image of anything they want (including political figures, female celebrities, you see my pattern here) with zero effort, on a mass scale we've never seen previously. I think they should only be used with stock, and I even think that photographers who upload their works should get additional payments from it. I actually had used a generator back in 2019 for a project, well before this even became a discussion, and it was even featured in a gallery show for a bit! The overall theme was "fake news," so it was a conceptual piece with fake landscape photography that I made with some beta tool. The point was the tool in combination with the tool's result, not how pretty the fake pictures were. I also want to say it was trained a lot more ethically than a lot of the generators that are so popular today.
And this isn't to say that you have to have a gallery or be so fully integrated in a physical art scene or whatever to be able to make conceptual art or talk about it - honestly I think zines that could actually combine whatever your concept is with having room to talk about it, and they're easy to create both physically and digitally and share. maybe just don't have it be around "look at all these pretty pictures that I made with AI." similar to how people at the art book fair aren't going to be impressed with me being like "look at all these pretty pictures I found on Unsplash."
Sure, AI art is "real art," but it's not illustration or photography or whatever, it's conceptual art. Which means it's main goal is to incite thought and discussion about it. Like the D&D book's release that suddenly turned to being about the AI art they used. So if you want to be an artist using primarily AI, go ahead, no one can stop you, but the topic is culturally significant with the current fight between the entertainment unions to protect their livelihoods, so the discussion will be heated.
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vvatchword · 11 months
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In Defense of BioShock Infinite
Although I had preordered BioShock Infinite with all its bells and whistles, I did not actually play it until January 2023. And lordy, I had me another Experience with a capital E. How the hell a bunch of urban Yanks could capture my experience as a queer democratic-socialist atheist struggling with her roots as a rural evangelical-cum-fascist is kinda magical, honestly. As to the game itself, it didn’t hurt how good it looked—the kickass skyhook gun battles—that novel setting—the complex characters—that delicious historical setting—that bloodthirsty critique of America—and to top it all off, they had pulled yet another Cassandra. Hell, speaking of which—not only was the game fun, it was fucking smart. It was intelligent, memorable, and meaningful in a way I hadn’t experienced in video games for years.
Now, back in 2013, when I had realized that I would be spoiled for Infinite, I left the BioShock fandom. After completing the game, I headed to Tumblr to re-engage, wagging my whole body like an excitable golden retriever, only to discover that BioShock Infinite was remarkably absent, and when mentioned, brutally derided. 
“I hate BioShock Infinite and all my friends do, too,” someone said in the tags under a post. 
I was utterly befuddled and deeply sad. I wanted to talk about BioShock Infinite! I wanted to dig into it, uncover unexpected ideas, learn new things, talk shit, make new friends—the full fandom experience. And instead I kept stumbling into hateful diatribes and super-charged disgust.
Obviously, I first looked at myself and my own judgment. Had I missed some obvious problem or misread some theme or dialogue? This wouldn’t be the first time I’d snapped down on a hook. But the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.
There are two parts of BioShock Infinite that are unquestionably terrible: the fridging of Daisy Fitzroy and the false equivalence of violence between haves and have-nots (lol what are the have-nots supposed to do, ask nicely?). Additionally, one could look at the use of real Native American tragedies as tasteless. Personally, I do not—in the same way that I don’t find it tasteless that real war victims were used as inspiration for Splicer deformities. This is what really happened; this is commentary on events that really happened to real people. 
At this point, I’m sure I don’t have to explain why two of these themes are Unequivocally Bad. 
Anyway, I thought that perhaps these were the reasons BSI had been condemned to Super Hell.
I was wrong.
How Criitcsim Werk
This wasn’t the fandom I’d made friends in over 2010. Hell, this wasn’t the fandom of 2013. This was a fandom made up of Babies. They were making their first coltish stumblings into media criticism and with it, dredging up the same brain-dead bullshit from Tumblr circa 2008.
Suddenly I was brought face to face with people who seemed to think that if a character couldn’t be likable or good that the story itself couldn’t be likable or good; that one bad element means the story is unsalvageable (lol u pussies); the implication that one is bad for liking it; the destructive juvenile insistence that media accurately measures its fans’ moral qualities en masse like an astrological sign. This goes far beyond simple like or dislike and plunges head-first into Puritanism: praying loudly on street-corners instead of quietly in a dark corner where God might hear you.
At one point I had a kid go off about how they wouldn’t take time to understand Booker DeWitt’s perspective because he had (fictionally) taken part in a genocide. (That same person said the Native American element had been employed for shock value, a thought that sometimes keeps me up at night, because it is legitimately one of the dumbest criticisms the game has ever received.) At another point I saw someone acting personally offended that (fictional person) Dr. Suchong’s (fictional) data was being stolen (in a fiction) by a (fictional) racist who would (fictionally) take credit for (fictional person) Suchong’s (fictional) inventions “while calling him slurs”. Sure, a better question would have been, “Why would the creative team opt to do this” rather than assume intentional racism from a Jewish creative director with an in-office multi-ethnic team in the year of our lord 2013, but why not handwave the choice with prurient moral dismay so your audience won’t beat you to death with bats? 
It was as though fans were treating these completely fictional characters as real people whose personal gods had opted to torment them, and that their tormentors merited the kind of censure that psychopaths should receive. As I hope all of you understand, this is fucking madness.
More than once I saw people posting about hating the studio or the creative director in ways that seemed intense, unreasoning, and excessive—notably an “I Hate [Irrational Games creative director] Ken Levine” stamp (rofl the more things change amirite). People get so performatively moralistic about it that I started wondering if I missed something big along the way. Was there some secret Voxophone I missed swearing fealty to baby Hitler or some shit?
Double Standards
At the same time, I was utterly confused. BioShocks 1 and 2 both featured some absolutely ghastly bullshit based on real-life horrors and a thick mix of complicated human beings—many of them victims who have become monsters. The fact they are grounded in historical tragedies is a huge part of their appeal. Hell, I don’t think those games would have had half their meaning without World Wars I and II and the threat of a third.
A gay man who feels so cursed by his orientation that he is incapable of intimacy and systematically destroys his ex-lovers—including the man he loves the most. A Korean who survived Japanese occupation and a Jewish Holocaust survivor repeat the violence and traumas exacted upon them and their people, subjecting a new generation to agonies unthinkable. Chasing the shadows of Bolsheviks, a Russian citizen becomes the brutal tyrant that he loathed. A rich lawyer with an easygoing drawl designs a concentration camp and systematically harvests hundreds, if not thousands of political prisoners, selling them out to medical testing for a quick buck.
But a Native man who destroys his own people and class to ensure his own survival and social acceptability is too far? This character is where people drew the line, so much so that the entire game is disavowed? Hell, if you’re just talking about Booker (rather than Comstock), he doesn’t have anywhere near the largest bodycount. If we were to judge on the metric of human misery alone, Booker wouldn’t even hit the top ten. 
Keep in mind that the most-discussed BioShock game on Tumblr is BioShock 2, and that one of the biggest fandom favorites is Augustus Sinclair—the easy-talkin’ Georgia lawyer who sells your character into horrors past all human comprehension, as he sold hundreds before and after you. Sinclair is a motherfucker so vile that BioShock 2 gives you no choice but to murder him. But Sinclair is also pleasant; good-looking to some; spends the whole game making sweet love to your ear; is one of the only true positive experiences you experience in a horror story. Unlike DeWitt, a man who is brutal and awful from step one, Sinclair is smooth and sweet. Unlike DeWitt, Sinclair’s victims are faceless, completely fictional, and carry no political or social baggage.
People fuckin’ ship this guy with Subject Delta, his explicit victim. He’s usually described as a squishy cinnamon roll. In most fanfiction, he often gets to escape to the surface and fuck Delta while helping raise Eleanor as Dad 2. It is rare that I find fanfiction that acknowledges his monsterhood in all its glory. In fact, I can only think of two.
Literacy Comes in Levels
My problem with the over-the-top hatred of BioShock Infinite is along the same lines as my confusion at Twilight and Harry Potter hate: there is so much worse out there (how much do the haters actually engage with media if they think this is that bad—yes, even considering the shitty creators themselves!), the hatred far outweighs the sin committed (in BioShock’s case, the truly bad bits are not central enough to derail the larger narrative), people don’t seem to hate it so much as they want to be seen hating it, fans want to enforce an unspoken rule hating it (bitches this is poison. Stop this), and there’s something about the hate that stinks of poor reading comprehension.
A great metric for general literacy is the newspaper. In journalism, you’re writing for the lowest-common denominator, which for years here in the USA has been about a fifth-grade reading level (about 10-11 years old, for my non-American readers). The AP posted an article a couple years back about how the general reading comprehension of Americans needs to be dropped to a third-grade one (8-9 years), and baby, I’m here to say it’s true. 
Most of the problem is that the American education system is shitty as fuck. The rest of it is from an extremely American disdain of intellectualism and the arts. People are not taught how to interpret art or literature—a difficult and subtle skill which involves accepting such truths as “multiple contradictory readings can exist and yet be simultaneously correct”, “the author can be a complete tool and still be right about things”, “the author can be a great person and still write horrifyingly incorrect bullshit”, and “worthwhile works can be ridiculously long and it really is your fault for not having an attention span”. 
Media criticism must be learned through trial, error, asking questions, confidently swaggering into a public space to announce your brilliant insight only to have your ass handed to you (usually by your older self ten years later), being willing to admit you swaggered confidently into a public space to state bullshit and then amending your bullshit only to produce more bullshit, and otherwise making a complete and utter cock of yourself. We are taught to fear and flee pain and failure, despite the fact this is how we learn and improve. Because we judge our value by whether or not we are “smart,” we are afraid of displaying that we don’t know something or might be mistaken–better not to try at all than to reveal ourselves to be fools. And yet the best way to learn is to crash up against someone else and be proven wrong!
American parents are terrified of hurting their children to the point that they spare them cognitive dissonance of any kind, disavowing difficult art—without any appreciation for the fact that art is how we provide safe spaces to explore key human experiences, better preparing us to face those difficult subjects when there are real-world consequences (sex, gender and social expression, grief, violence, predation, illness, interacting with people of different ideologies, whatever new issue is pissing off some smooth-brained old motherfucker somewhere). 
If parents and teachers aren’t teaching us how to interpret art, we’re probably never going to develop the skill at all, or crash unsubtly into it in a piecemeal fashion (hello it me). Another unfortunate side effect is that these readers tend to be blitheringly superficial: they are literally intellectually incapable of reading deeper than the uppermost layer of a text. The curtains are always blue.
And let’s not forget the role moral performatism plays in media criticism, which although faaar from new, has reached hilarious levels in the age of social media. What’s important isn’t understanding something, it’s finding something to symbolically burn at the stake so everyone knows God loves us: please keep loving me, please don’t hurt me, please don’t throw me on the fire—for performatism is not for outsiders. We long for human connection so fucking much that it’s more important to destroy what might point out our fallibilities than it is to let ourselves stand in the furnace and burn out the dross.
What do you think the point of BioShock Infinite was?
Emotional Machines
Let’s face it. Human beings give a lot more credence to how something makes them feel than they do its complex invisible reality. We are not logical creatures; we are emotional ones. Our logic is too new a biological mechanism to override something as powerfully stupid as our primal lizard brains.
Knowing this, let’s take BioShock’s most popular characters. The first two are Subject Delta and Jack Wynand, the protagonists of BioShocks 2 and 1, respectively; and why not? They’re the characters we play. In the first two BioShocks, whether or not you kill Little Sisters determines the ending you receive. In other words, Delta and Jack can only be as “wicked” as the players are. 
How do people want to see themselves? As good. What do people want to see around themselves? Good. (What is “good”? Uh, well,,,,,,) What do they want? Simple moral questions with simple moral answers. And in the first two BioShocks, what is moral is obvious: don’t kill little girls. It’s actually kind of insulting once you say it out loud.
In-fandom, Jack and Subject Delta are almost never painted as murderers or monsters, but as victims and heroes; I saw someone musing about putting Subject Delta on a “gentle giants” poll and I nearly choked on my own tongue. I only saw that musing because someone put Subject Delta and Jack in a “Best Fathers” poll. Nobody in-fandom really considers the “evil” or “complicated” endings as canon choices, despite those versions being fully understandable alternate readings, with a story that doesn’t make sense without them. (I don’t believe Burial at Sea is necessarily canon; in fact, I would bet good money that it is a huge middle finger lol, mostly because a number of brain-dead motherfuckers won’t take unhappiness for an answer.)
Most fandom art and writing is gentle, sweet, good: the symbolic healing of the damaged, the salvation of innocents, the turning of new leaves. These things are not just saccharine sweet—they tend to be unrealistically sweet. Now, far be it from me to demand these works cease. There’s a reason they exist. People write them because they need hope and happiness; I have enjoyed them greatly myself and intend to enjoy them in the future. But if y’all get to have your dessert, I demand the right to have my dinner.
The Colours Out of Earth
Let there be media where the opposite can also be true: where everything is unbelievably complicated and unforgivably fucked-up. Let there be characters who slide slurs into their speech without thinking. Let there be characters who destroy themselves in a thousand different ways, not all of them obvious, some of them horrifying. Let there be well-meaning people struggling with all their mights to do what is right only to destroy everyone around them and then completely miss the fact it’s all their faults. Let there be wickedness painted as goodness, superficial appearances accepted over essential and inherent values, denial of change and transformation, failure to accept that what is old must die and what is new must live, human stupidity and short-sightedness and cruelty in all their flavors. Let’s smash it all together and see how it plays out. 
Oh, badly? No shit! But “badly” isn’t the point. How does it play out?
Let there be a world of gradients—a place I can float from color to color, hue to hue, value to value, while attempting to figure out where, why, how, and by whom they transform—to taste concepts in a hundred different ways, test their textures by a hundred different mediums, insert them into a hundred different contexts. I need to understand why I feel the way I do; I need to understand morality in all its hideous, fragmentary glory. For I have been sold to a ideology of blacks and whites, and let me tell you: it prepares you for nothing, and it will always destroy what is most precious about human life.
I can no longer believe in a world where what is lost always returns, because that world does not exist. I have a reflexive need to come to terms with Finality: what I have lost, what I have destroyed, what will never return, what will never be better. I have a reflexive need to understand Transformation: what I am now, what is as of the present, what has risen shambling from the ashes, what turns to gaze upon me in the darkness. I need to understand what is wretched about me as much as I need to heal myself. How can I heal if I can’t understand how I have hurt and been hurt? 
I need to shine a light in the dark. Not to remodel it, not to destroy it—because I also can’t believe in a world where the wicked is destroyed forever—but to behold it, to learn from it, to view my own impact upon it, to accept how it has become a part of me, to learn how to do my best (because that’s all one can do). I must learn to love people more than causes, I must learn to love people rather than the act of winning, I must learn to love people rather than battle. I need to stand in that endless black with the lamp off and my eyes closed, letting the agony roll over me, burning with a fire that throws no light, rolling back and forth from an intense self-loathing to a fury at a society that destroys what is most valuable because it didn’t make them feel the way they wanted.
The Unforgivable
I believe that there are only two differences between Booker DeWitt and his equally cursed cohorts.
In the Hall of Whores: The Unmarked Slate
First, unlike the previous two games, where you enter the world as a tabula rasa and might roleplay as what you perceive as a good person, you are explicitly put into the shoes of a monster, and nothing you do can save you.
With other shitty BioShock characters, you are passively watching other people, and you are able to hold yourself apart. Sure, everyone else is crazy as fuck from using biological Kryptonite, but you’re too smart to end up a crazy fucking asshole like them! Sure, you are now technically a mass murderer, but those fuckers deserved it, damn it! 
“Look at this crazy bastard!” you say, rolling your eyes at the Steinmans and Cohens and Ryans and Fontaines. “It sure is a great thing I’m not a crazy bastard!”
You are able to escape acknowledging that you, too, in certain circumstances, might be the crazy bastard. You are being challenged to stand in the body of a person who has committed unforgivable sins. Imagine if you yourself committed those sins. Imagine what sins you have already committed. Imagine what brutalities you cannot take back. Imagine what horrors you have wreaked just by breathing.
“Ahhhh!” said players, probably. “What do you mean I’m not allowed to be good?”
Because that’s what the game was designed to do. Because “good” is a fucking cop-out and if it’s how you live with yourself wait until you find out you’ve been doing horrifying bullshit all your life without question. You can be evil by association through no fault of your own.
Original Sin
Second, the plight of Native Americans is a sin that non-Natives will always carry, and the socially conscious are aware of this even if they don’t know how to put it into words. The state of affairs being what it is, it is unlikely that First Peoples will ever be treated humanely, much less have their land returned. They must struggle for scraps of what is rightfully theirs while we lounge on their corpses. We cannot help but benefit from their destruction; we are made unwitting partners with our forebears; we steal the fruits of their lands and make mockeries of their faiths and identities. We have destroyed part of what made this world fascinating and unique and most of it can never be returned. Even if everything were to be made right tomorrow, their genocide is a sin that we will carry until we die, because the only reason we could be here at all is because they were killed. 
The obvious solution stands before us, but the powers that be are so much greater than we that we are effectively powerless, and achieving anything less than total restoration smacks of anticlimax. 
This is unbearable.
How can one think of oneself as a good person if one sees the good that must be done, but cannot achieve it? If one’s actions are meaningless? Goodness without action is pretension.
We are all Booker DeWitt. We have all set fire to the tipi. We swept the ashes away, we ignored the sizes of the bones, we built a CVS on their graves, and then we made statues and holidays commemorating Native Americans like the world’s cheapest “Thinking of You” card. We have de-fanged them, transformed them into cardboard cutouts, and set them up as cute little side characters in our sweeping American dream.
Booker is not a man. Booker is America and Americans—and America and Americans are monstrous: one part hypocrisy, two parts incessant violence, three parts constant peacocking, and four parts dumb as a stump.
The Monsters We Make
Outside of the message about “choice,” an enormous part of BioShock’s thematic ensemble is the creation of monsters. How are monsters created? Who or what is responsible for creating them? What do the monsters think made them the ways they are? Can a monster be saved? How? Is it enough to acknowledge you did wrong and want to be a better person?
Maybe most people are aware on some instinctive level of what facing one’s own monsterhood means. No one wants it. It’s not fun. It hurts. It’s embarrassing. It’s destructive. It’s admitting you don’t have it all together and might never, ever—that despite your best actions, you can have it horribly wrong at any point. In an age where we demand moral perfection, it demands vulnerability: you must admit that sometimes you’re the racist, the transphobe, the sexist, the nationalist, the classist, the homophobe, the violent, the wrong, the dumbfuck. 
Human beings are not built to be moral; human beings are built to survive. We so rapidly learn how to deal with our contexts at such young ages that we don’t have the time or capabilities to question why those contexts are the ways they are or why it is demanded we perform the ways we do.
In a very real way, BioShock Infinite demands vulnerability of us. It demands you look in the mirror and see what is monstrous in you—how you have been created—manufactured—a tool, a machine, a trained animal. It asks you to recognize that you can be a monster simply by association. And if we can’t look into the mirror and truly acknowledge that monsterhood, we run very real risks of becoming or enabling those monsters in one way or another.
Worst of all: perhaps monsterhood isn’t optional. Perhaps the monster was inside of us from the very beginning. It’s not a matter of if you become a monster, but when, under what circumstances, by whose hand. What is more, believing the “right” moral stances will not save you. Monsterhood can afflict anyone, in any ideology, any political stance, in any social movement, in any faith. The only element that can save you is to truly love other people, and even then, you can fail, for there can be states where there is no winner and ways to misread how best to treat another person.
Environment and Society: Context Will Not Be Denied
BioShock 1’s original ending is Jack-as-monster, regardless of how many children he saves, regardless of your feelings as player. He passes through the gauntlet of Rapture, but he has supped of its poison. And he wasn’t poisoned when he entered Rapture the second time—he was poisoned the minute he was conceived. He was born of it. He had no hope of ever escaping it—he never could have—he’d never had a choice to begin with.
No matter what choices you make in BioShock Infinite, Elizabeth will always kill you. Why? Because she has seen every world—every context—every limitation—every boon. And there is no way to stop what has been; there is no way to undo what has been done. The minute you have committed to a decision, you have split the universe; there is no telling what kind of person it will make you. In fact, there’s no telling which of your decisions will matter at all. Only Elizabeth can see because she is the unlimited future: your offspring stands before you, judge and jury, and you will have no choice but to accept her verdict, for despite your name, you are incapable of controlling how you are interpreted. 
Elizabeth sits across from you in the boat and stares without blinking. She sees a million million similar Bookers. Some are a little bit taller, some a little bit shorter, some a little heavier or lighter. Some more-resemble one grandparent or another. They have different colored ties. This one blinks when rain hits him in the eyeball. That one took a brutal beating back on the airship and one eye is swollen shut. That one can’t stop shaking; this one is unable to speak at all; one hasn’t yet lost hope, although even he doesn’t realize it.
They all lowered the torch to the tipi.
The baptism determined Comstock; what determined Booker?
Why Booker Is
In BioShock 1, characters are often stand-ins for larger concepts. Thus Ryan stands in as Ayn Rand’s Objectivist Ubermensch; Bill McDonagh as Andrew Ryan’s conscience; Diane McClintock as the citizenry of Rapture; Captain Sullivan as law and order; Frank Fontaine as the truest expression of Objectivism in its distilled form.
Who is Booker? Most importantly: why is he?
Booker is a fictional character with a brutal background based on historical events, alternative and true. Booker might be Lakota; Booker might have undergone forced Anglicization; Booker might have been ripped from his parents; Booker is a product of violence, perhaps literally. Booker is American exceptionalism distilled. Booker is the past in constant judgment of itself, unable to live with itself and unable to die. Booker destroys what is best in him and around him in exchange for belonging. Booker has sold the future to absolve his sins. Booker has sold his daughter because he is a fictional character in a work of fiction who needs to be propelled.
Booker is a shell, a sluice, an environment. Booker is the broken shape you are meant to fill, horrified. His internal shape should torture you as it has tortured him: the messy slaggy soul of a shitty tin soldier.
Does Booker take the baptism and become Comstock? If so, it might be his second one. His last name literally means “the white.” His first name can mean “author.” It is most likely his second name: an attempt to rewrite himself. And when he was unable to rewrite himself the first time, when the cognitive dissonance boiled at the edges of his skull, he found there was only one way to cleanse himself the second: to remake the world entirely. To force transformation on everyone else. To take vengeance on a world that could never love him, never want him—to create a world that has no choice but to love him. If he can’t change the world’s mind, he’ll change the world.
Note what he opts to do: to take the fight to the environment–to the unyielding universe.
Context Is Everything
It is no mistake that BioShock Infinite occurs in 1912: the sinking of the Titanic is often credited with ending an unfettered optimism, a period when the Western world believed technology had brought the human race into a golden age. With World War I—which would follow a mere two years later—came modern warfare and all the horrors thereof, not the least of which was the realization that humans had created a kind of war that could destroy the entire world. World War I also seeded the rise of the United States: much of the wealth of warring Europe—itself fat on the blood of subjugated peoples and stolen lands—would rattle into America’s coffers.
It is also no mistake that BioShock 1 directly follows World War II. With WWII came a heightened terror—that this war is not the last war, that there will never be an end to war, that war will go on expanding and expanding until it has consumed us all. World War III would not be denied: prettily packaged in the ideals of its children, it simply followed the utopians down to their underwater tombs. According to BioShock 1’s original ending, World War III is not a matter of if—it’s a matter of when.
But even more important than the history in the BioShock games are their settings. Mute leviathans, Rapture and Columbia determine all of your behaviors: from where you can exist in space to all of your desires and goals to how you choose to present yourself to how you opt to behave. Isolated in extremism—whether that extremism is the crushing depths of the ocean or the unbearable lightness of the air—most of their power is that they simply cannot be escaped. You can’t outrun them. They are everywhere. They are everything.
Like Lovecraft before it, BioShock acknowledges the greatest horror of all: you cannot escape your context. Your context does not only involve your immediate surroundings. It is also historical; contains zeitgeists from various cultures and subcultures; is filled with pressures both personal and impersonal, human and nonhuman. Many of these forces can hurt you. Many more can destroy you. What you do to survive depends very much on where, when, and with whom you must live.
Human beings are not built to be moral.
The Death of the Future
In the film Operation, Burma!, a soldier asks Errol Flynn: “Who were you before the war?”
“An architect,” says Flynn.
Who were you? Because that “you” doesn’t matter now. That “you” is irrelevant. So you’re an architect. What the war does to you; what these deaths mean to you; your past, your education, your loves and desires and forward motivation, the you that could have been outside war, the you that slogs alone into the brutal future—all completely irrelevant. Your forebears don’t care so long as you can bleed. 
Children are the manufactured tools of their creators—helpless before the enormous strength of their elders and the zeitgeists that enclose them, poisoned by their parents’ insecurities and flaws, utilized like weapons regardless of the cost—often with great love.
Consider something more than the traumatized culture: consider the society filled with traumatized children; consider the traumatized society. Consider channeling children through that trauma over and over and over again, if you can. Poisoned—poisoned—poisoned—all of us poisoned. Poisoned by those who loved us most. Poisoned by the people we trusted. Poisoned by the people who meant to make a better world.
I believe it is notable that creative director Ken Levine is Jewish; I have read from multiple accounts that the European Jewish diaspora was uniquely traumatized from the Holocaust and passed that trauma down upon their own families. I sometimes wonder if he saw that firsthand.
The fathers eat sour grapes; their children’s teeth are set on edge.
Choice: Player Expectations and Entitlement
For players who experienced BioShocks 1 and 2 with their multiple endings (Good, Bad, and “ok bye then I guess” respectively), it must have been jarring to suddenly reckon with being a monster. How often I see players grousing that nothing they do will change their wicked pasts! These players completely miss that the only meaningful choice had already been made, that it had nothing to do with the player at all, and even if they had been there, DeWitt was still unforgivable. The only way to go on was to bow out and allow the future to redefine herself.
Nobody was ready for that shit. 
Like it or not, BioShock 1 had set a precedent. Not everyone’s going to read up on creator intentions. If any keyword came blaring through the noise, it would have been “choice.” Most players only recognize choice by the ability to make it, not the absence of it, and most of them weren’t equipped to recognize that its lack was the point. The meaningless choices were commentary, and they were as much about the player as they were about DeWitt himself. Not every choice will be meaningful, will it? And there will be choices you make that will be momentous, but they will seem very small when you make them.
Because most players had experienced what they thought was a basic moralistic tale in the first two games, and would see Infinite not as reflection upon America’s destructive personality, its obsession with a meaningless Good/Bad duocracy, and the infinite, cyclical nature of violence, they saw Booker’s death as corrupted artsy claptrap.
“I did the good schuut,” they say. “I want the good schuut end. Where happy end??? Where treat :(”
Bitch the future is here. 
Time to die.
It’s Not Me, It’s You
Generally I despise essays that end with, “But the real fault lay with the clueless motherfuckers who played the game!” Often, if enough people complain, there’s something to it; the message has been obscured somehow. Details or explanations weren’t clear or intuitive enough, some mechanism isn’t working somewhere, some character needs to talk more or less, some setting needs to be transformed. O artist: stop whining and get cracking. If everywhere you go smells like shit, it’s time to look under your shoe. 
But sometimes it’s true that a piece of media is on a level folks aren’t equipped for. Think of every literature and art class you’ve ever had, if you’ve been fortunate enough to have one. There’s always someone scoffing in a back row, like here are all these jokers making more of something than they should. Similarly, some of you have been arguing with me this entire time, saying: “I just wanted a video game. I just wanted to shoot something and feel better and instead I get this bullshit ending that makes no sense.”
First of all, smart bullshit (and even fucked-up attempts at smart bullshit! Hi BioShock 2) gets to exist on this Earth along with Gmod and Roblox or Schuut Big Tits 84 (there are 84 tits and you must shoot them all. They explode into smaller tits) or whatever-the-fuck-else you think is a worthwhile gaming experience. Second of all, miserable bullshit also gets to exist, and what did you fucking expect if you played through either BioShocks 1 or 2? When you hear a football player quavering out in the darkness for his mom to pick him up, how’d that make you feel? What did you think was going to happen to Jack after pounding back the entire Plasmid library, the cancer cocktail that explicitly destroys the fuck out of its users? Third of all, if you missed the smart bullshit going on in BioShock 1 and didn’t think BioShock Infinite might be larger in scope in more ways than one, that’s on you. Fourthly, if you were simply satisfied with saving like, 15 kids from a violently-perishing city of thousands and call it good, I mean… is that really where your thoughts end? Are you really that fucking small?
It’s Not You, It’s Me
You ever meet those motherfuckers who talk shit about Shakespeare or modern art? And you’re just left there staring with dead eyes at this poseur who mistakes playing devil’s advocate for intelligence, cheek resting on your fist, thinking about the fanfic you’re writing, wondering who it’s for, remembering that all your smut-writing friends get ten times the viewers, and considering throwing yourself in front of a bus.
Yeah, there’s a personal element to this: the fact that BioShock Infinite is the kind of art I like and long for and want to make myself, the fact that the game was successful and yet the studio was closed, the way its DLC was so rushed that the story plopped out like half-baked mystery meat—realizing that the same forced rush was at 2K’s behest for BioShock 2, as well, and wondering how good art can ever be made in this unforgiving capitalist hellscape. The game was weirdly niche and I’m not 100% sure I’ll ever experience anything quite like it again. And with the whiners in this fandom, the loud ones controlling the narrative, some fresh brain-dead exec in some brain-dead publisher might be like: “We must keep it safer and simpler for these fuckin babby adult!”
Nah bitch nah. Naaaah. Cry some more while I enjoy me my fucking dinner. I’ll eat it while making loud smacking noises and keeping unbroken eye contact. Come here. Let’s look at each other. It’ll be like Lady and the Tramp but we want to punch each other. What truer form of love can there be here in the modern world?
I keep having to remind myself that this response isn’t new. I keep having to remind myself of my place. I keep having to remind myself why I write, why I read, why I like to experience art to begin with. It’s not for the reasons other people do it. Oh, I want the same emotional release as everyone else, I want the same rollicking plots, I adore the same tropes. I seek out everything and anything for a good time; I’ll read Moby Dick today and a smutty 5,000-word abortion with the world’s most suspect grammar tomorrow. I don’t give a shit if it’s low- or high-brow; there are all kinds of ways to have fun and there are all kinds of ways to engage with art, and lord knows I’ve done my share of smooth-brain criticism. The problem is that I’ve always wandered off by myself, sunk into an all-consuming reverie, on tracks that no one else ever seems to be on, and then looked up to talk excitedly about something only to realize I’m alone. And whose fault is that?
By the same token, maybe I haven’t talked enough. Maybe I spend too much time with my mouth shut. Maybe I haven’t stood up enough for things that are worth our time, worth talking up, worth setting on pedestals.
I tell you, BioShock Infinite will stand the test of time. It’s too good for this. It’s too good for you, warts and all. Some of you will grow to understand that; some of you won’t; many of you will shrug and go on with your lives (and this is fine; it is only a video game). But I’ve truly not seen anything like it. I can’t believe a mainstream video game was allowed to be so fucking brutal about the American juggernaut, and what’s more, that it sold like hotcakes. Plus, I can’t think of any works in recent memory that have struck me so close to my own heart. No creative work has made me start beating a monster’s face into a washbasin for ten hours only to lift her by the scalp and see my own eyes looking back.
Look into those eyes. See your own stupid impulses pouring out. Your own stupid excuses, your violences, your sins—your claws, your teeth, your costumes, your hilarious attempts at interpretive dance. The beast doth protest too much.
O, monster—behold thyself—and tremble.
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