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#its okay we’ll say theyre out of view
dimensionwarp · 6 months
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@somerandomdudelmao ‘s newest update MADE me draw this new outfit because. just look. hes so tiny. absolutely does not know the horrors waiting for him. so silly.
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sambucky parents mfssss because i love them
neither of them would be stern idc. like have you met these idiots? they’re so gentle and soft around kids its stupid. anyway. 
these little shits would absolutely spoil this kid. like oh my god. between sam growing up with not a lot of money and bucky being from the goddamn 1930s, its safe to say theyre spoiling this kid 
names: riley/natasha/natalia/natalie/karli/becca/karli (you know im right)
honestly i can only picture them with a little girl (i may be projecting but i dONT THINK SO AHAHA i so think so) 
they’d be a total nerd end of point. bucky ‘i read the hobbit, in 1937, when it first came out’ barnes and sam ‘everybody loves marvin gaye’ wilson would raise a nerd and thats final
bucky would probably retire as soon as they adopted, if he hadn’t already, and i dont even wanna think about this kids reaction when sam left for mission or whatever (actually i do so here we go)
like imagine sam is suited up in his and buckys doorway, looking like hes on the verge of tears as a small toddler was curled up against bucky, sobs wracking her body. bucky smiled at him sadly, pulling him in for a short kiss. “we’ll be okay, go get em, cap.” and after sam left with a kiss to both bucky’s hairline and the little girls, bucky put clone wars on for both his entertainment and the little girl. the two of them cry softly the first night sams away, but they know he’d be back soon. thats what bucky whispered to the little girl when she refused to sleep. and thats what sam texted bucky the first night, and the second night, and every night until he got back with a tired look in his eyes, and an instant smile as his two favourite people came into view
or, if you will, a tiny, maybe 6 month old baby girl, sleeping peaceful on buckys chest. the little girl was dressed in a captain america onesie and sam nearly died. he took a picture of the scene in front of him before slipping down the hallway to take a quick shower and change. by the time he was in buckys best sweatshirt and buckys best sweatpants, the super soldier was up, trying his best not to wake up the infant that slept peacefully. “hey.” sam murmured, barely audible, but bucky looked up at him, and a tired yet beaming smile appeared on his face. causing him to almost drop their children. sam shook his head fondly
anyway, that is all, very sorry for my ridiculous word vomit, i just have a feelings for Sambucky as parents
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tw: death, derealization
I seem to find more reasons to hate the town I was raised in. People die too often, people I know, people I have grown up with. There was one boy, the most recent death, we’ll call him Brian. Brian was the kind of kid to light up a room. He was popular, he had a lot of friends and everyone knew him. He was alive. He seemed to enjoy life. He was the kind of person who pretended they were dumb because they did bad in school but they know so much more about life than anyone around them. They know more about love and pain and rage and hurt. They’ve lived a thousand emotions since they were born. I knew him from a young age, he was few years older than me but I always hung out with older kids. He had plenty of childhood friends he spent his life with, and the same girlfriend since about freshman year. I was personally close to him but I knew him and I could read him. I think about him often now. He changed as he got older, had less friends, partied less, it was like the golden in his eyes drained away. He seemed tired and in a different world any time I saw him, almost hollow looking. 
The story my friend, who we’ll call Victor, told us broke my heart. Victor was very close to Brian. They had been friends since middle school. The entire group had. The group was at one of their houses, acting like dumb young boys do. Smoking, Drinking. They were playing around with a gun, a pistol. They knew it was loaded but they didnt care, theyre young boys who think theyre invincible. Itll never be me, they say. 
Im going to tell it how Victor told it, his point of view, his words. 
In my head I was holding the gun then handed it to Randy. I walked out of the room because I got a call and it was like just a second later I heard the gunshot and screaming. I hung up the call and ran into the room. Brian was slumped back in the chair, like he was sitting but his hair was mess up and his arm was hanging over the side. Everyone was screaming “we need to go! we need to get him to the hospital!” but I could tell he was already dead. I saw his eyes for only a second. They were grey, they stared at a painting hung on the wall but they seemed to stare past it somehow.
When he told me this I said “well, its good you werent in the room, Victor.” 
Then he looked at me and shook his head. “No. Thats what appened in my head. I told the cops I didnt know what happened and I wasnt in the room, and I really thought that. But I was. I was in the room. I watched it happen.”
He cant tell whats real and fake anymore. The reason im typing this all out and sharing this personal story is because of what happened today. It was just Victor and I. We were sitting in his car at the park, just listening to music and hanging out. He started staring at me, intently. Like wide eyed. I asked him if he was okay then he asked me something that made me feel sick to my stomach.
“Are you alive? “What? Of course I am. Im okay and alive, Victor. He shook his head aggressively, grabbing his hair. i could see his distraught. He clenched his jaw and seemed to pull his knees up toward himself. 
“No youre not. Youre dead.”
I dont know if anyone will ever read this but I want you to understand why I hate my home town. This is one reason why. I know its not the towns fault. Its nobodys fault, but this place seems to suck so much from people. This is where people stay when something horrible happens because this own is so good at comforting the broken. You never think it will be people you know.
Maybe Victor was right, maybe none of this is real, maybe im not, maybe you arent but what does it matter because we were all chosen for this reality, this game, this simulation or whatever it is and this is where we are stuck. So we learn to live with that and we learn to love here and live here, even if the people are fake. We learn to lose here and we grow from it or it destroys us. Maybe loss awakens us, maybe it helps us see life better after you see someone die. After you lose someone you love. Maybe thats why im not real, but I am present, and my mind and thoughts and emotions are real and I will learn to live with that, even if im not real, because I wont let aby reality or simulation or universe win against me. 
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hobishopee · 5 years
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Curtains.
Requested?: Yes.
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Genre: soft!yandere, Mafia!Jimin, fluff
A/N: BRO EVERYTHING IVE BEEN WRITING THE READER IS SLEEPING OR THEYRE IN BED WHY AM I LIKE THIS ITS ALL IN THE BEDROOM
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Pulling the curtains aside, you allow the sunlight to pour into the bedroom. You’re always left alone in the mornings due to Jimin’s ample workload. He never really explained the specifics of his job, but you knew enough to keep your lips shut and your smile plastered. You never questioned him.
Sure, you didn’t really expect to come this far within the relationship with Jimin due to his abnormal tendencies, but Jimin’s headstrong, and he gets what he wants. His motive for you to stay by his side caused him too much stress, but he killed them anyways because it’s what they deserved for tainting your view on him. Yes, the shipments and supplies fell behind while he meticulously took down each and every threat pertaining to your relationship, but he could’ve cared less about the cocaine not being delivered on time.
No family, friends, or strangers for that matter could help you in this situation. You truly loved him- loved. If it wasn’t for the fact he was damn near a Mafia god, earning your place in his home, stationed and locked up in fear of your safety, you could’ve looked past his small faults. Nothing you could do will change Jimin’s mind that maybe you weren’t the one, so you sucked it up and allowed Jimin to spoil you into oblivion with designer items and his love. It was irritating, but it gave you attention nonetheless. What person doesn’t appreciate being thought about?
“Baby?” You jump at the sudden noise, noticing the voice didn’t belong to any of the guards or maids. You turn away from the curtains, catching Jimin’s eye. 
“You were supposed to leave an hour ago, Jimin.” You return your focus on the window, straightening out the curtains.
“I did, but I made the driver turn the car around. I feel like I haven’t been the best husband recently.” He explains, loosening the cuffs on his suit. “We could do something today. Do you want to go shopping? Or maybe we could-”
“Dress down and cuddle?” You cut him off, happily jumping into the unmade bed. You pull the thick covers over you. “Close the curtains.” Your words are drowned under the duvet.
Jimin laughs at your endearing nature, kicking off his shoes and shutting the curtains.
“Anything else my queen?” He jokingly says in a proper tone.
“Yes actually, you.” Jimin stiffs up, surprised you have allowed yourself to finally be open. He felt fuzzy and warm as he climbed into bed, not bothering to slide off his slacks.
“You’re going to wrinkle your pants.” You note, shuffling through the layers of blankets, finally wrapping your arms around his waist.
“I have ten more pairs ironed and ready, don’t worry about me.” He replies, casually slipping off his rings and bracelets and throwing them onto the bedside table. “How was your day?”
“Babe, the sun barely rose.”
“Okay how was...your one hour without me?” He smiles through his words. “Did you miss me?” He giggles softly waiting for your answer.
You playfully look at him, ignoring his question. “Are you sure your business will be okay without you there?”
“Hmm, I guess we’ll have to find out.” Jimin shrugs his shoulders, pulling you closer to him. “Don’t worry about it.” You both remain close, silent.
Don’t worry about this. Don’t worry about that. Don’t worry about him. He always made sure you didn’t have to worry about anything.
“I love you, you know. I keep you here, safe, for a reason.” Jimin breaks the silence. Your head rests on his chest, his fingers lingering on your back.
You remain quiet, nodding. You were too sleepy to respond and Jimin’s light touches weren’t helping. Your breath evens, Jimin’s voice slowly fading, but you caught on to his last words.
“That’s all I need. For you to be with me, safe, whether you like it or not.”
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lunawings · 5 years
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King of Prism SSS Episode 12 commentary (FINAL!)
Crunchyroll was awesome this time! 
No significant complaints on the subs!
You guys were awesome this time! 
So many people stuck around for the late viewing in the stream and even after just to chat! 
Now on to the actual episode. 
Once again sorry this is so long. But with this being the last one, can you really blame me.....?
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.....As much I love this episode, this scene was just so painful. Worse than Shine’s show. Worse than that whole last episode combined. 
A lot of my predictions about Part 4 were wrong (will discuss later) but I was absolutely sure of one thing. I knew no matter what happened in Part 4 just one thing was FOR CERTAIN. And that was... I was going to have to see Shin cry. This precious boy who deserves nothing but love is going to suffer. And I tried to prepare myself. I tried. 
But somehow. Even though I knew. EVEN THOUGH I KNEW... It was way worse than I could have ever imagined.
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I always assumed he would cry because he found out about something terrible about the past. But instead HE NEVER KNOWS THE TRUTH and we get him sobbing over something entirely NOT HIS FAULT... in front of everyone.... HOW.... HOW COULD THEY.... DO THIS... TO.... HI...M................ 
This scene upsets me so much I don’t know if I have ever even seen the whole thing. I always end up turning away at some point, or just curling up into a ball.....
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Did anyone else feel like they were watching a totally different anime for a few seconds here? I’m having trouble telling if the style actually changed or if I.... just am not used to seeing Shin make expressions like this............. ba.....by..............
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Leo always cries when anyone else is crying.
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Even though everyone claps for him at the theater at cheering shows, it doesn’t make me feel better. AT ALL. Because Shin never knows the truth. NONE OF THEM DO. Okay we’ll talk about this more later but just..... gah it hurts........................................ So much that it actually hindered my enjoyment of what amazing thing comes next......
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Back in the first movie era, the idea of a full CGI show of the Edel Rose boys with Shin as center was something that I could not imagine coming true even in my wildest dreams. And I love this show. I just wish it wasn’t proceeded by so much suffering. 
Shin being their center was something they decided at the Christmas live (before performing Dramatic Love for the first time) BTW. While it seems obvious to us that Shin would be center, it wouldn’t necessarily be as such in-universe. They had to decide at some point! And I’m glad it was a part of that story. 
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I LOVE THESE OUTFITS. 
THEYRE PERFECT. The rainbows, the stars, the colors. Everyone looks AMAZING. And I know the rainbows are probably an homage to Over the Rainbow... BUT..
its just so gay
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Prism stone beam???
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This is orange I guess? It looks more yellow to me. A lot of the hand colors are kinda vague and I’m just like... WHO DID YOU TOUCH 
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For anyone who read my I THINK I MARRIED ALL THE EDEL ROSE BOYS. OR THEY MARRIED EACH OTHER. ANYWAY EVERYONE IS MARRIED NOW shitty out of context spoiler I wrote in a comment obviously it was this ahahaha
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I really do love this show, and like with the new Shuffle’s show last week I’m so glad I can finally watch it without the.... suffering. 
The first time I saw this in theaters, this exact frame right here was when I first started feeling any semblance of better after all that had happened. He looks so confident and gallant and his eyes are shining and he just.... Shin............... I love you so much....................................................................
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Also this is a good spot to talk about their feathers I guess. So these are different from the other (male?) wings Shine had. Why? What does that mean? 
*throws hands in the air*
So, some folks may not be aware of this but the feathers from Rainbow Live were a feature of the arcade game. 
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You could unlock them by raising the PairTomos, and even the night dream feathers look like they were available at one time during an event it seems?? I am not entirely sure how it all worked since I never played the game back in the heyday. (You can no longer obtain all the feathers now even if you bring a memory card to a currently running Pretty Rhythm machine since some just aren’t available anymore.)
But anyway, the actual point I was trying to make is that the feathers had a set  structure within Rainbow Live since it was grounded by the arcade game. But in King of Prism...... that just kinda do what they want.... s....o.............
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The first time I went to cheering for this it was the premiere date, and it was also the first time I ever did cheering the same day. In between the morning/midnight showing a whole bunch of people had the idea to go to the 100 yen shop and get glowstick rings just for this scene. I was like daaaamn. 
But then...
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Our first official non-Crunchyroll translation of prism no kirameki? 
Even the Juuouin group worships “the prism”. 
And I can’t help laugh at the irony that Crunchyroll abandoned using “the prism” but also just ignored the translation ALREADY ON SCREEN
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I can’t take his scream here. It’s just like.... HE WAS ALREADY DYING, WHY DID THEY HAVE TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS. 
LOUIS. 
LOUIS NOOOOOOOOO. 
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Even as late as it is, I am really, really grateful how they took a few seconds to establish for the new audience exactly how much of their shows are powered by prism sparkle. 
Note that they did not change out of their costumes though. But my headcanon on this is that Leo just prefers to make the real thing because he can. 
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Singing at cheering shows is also everything I have ever wanted. 
I feel bad though since I pretty much always get tongue tied here every time. It’s hard to just sing acapella to a song you’re not that familiar with. Especially with the sparkely lyrics appearing and disappearing like this. I actually don’t hear that many other people singing in the theater, perhaps for that reason? But I always try my best. 
And now that this is finally out, I can finally practice at home and nail this down with confidence just in time for...... SSS to leave theaters..... um............ ye....ah........
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I also mess this up like every single time ahaha. It’s just slightly too fast for me to read. 
Someday I will succeed in properly marrying all of the Edel Rose boys. Someday. 
(Also I don’t think this was rainbow-colored in the theatrical version.)
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So Edel Rose and all their fans just up and created a prism goddess so we don’t need the prism gods anymore. Can they do that? Can we do that? I guess we can! 
WE DID IT GUYS
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It’s oddly fitting that Hijiri is kind of an ugly crier. I mean, he’s just so beautiful the rest of the time. It’s only right. 
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So let’s unpack this for a sec. Unbeknownst to them, because the Edel Rose boys all married each other they put a new seal on Shine. But this seal is entirely dependent on their marriage their bond with each other. 
How literal is that I wonder?
Because like.... Edel Rose won’t last forever. Kakeru, Minato, and Yukinojo are gonna be going to college in a year and a half.... ahah ha.....
I just imagine like. A couple of them meeting on the street in the distant future being like “Oh man I haven’t seen you in forever!” “Yeah! We really lost touch! Hey, have you heard from Shin lately?” “No, you?” And behind them is like a TV report of Shin become Shine destroying a city or something. 
.....................Reminder again that this commentary is coming from the place where I am after having a couple months to let this all sink in and get to the point where I am comfortable joking about it.... ahah ha........ 
This is one of my coping mechanisms for dealing with the idea that my favorite character basically has the devil living inside of him trying to take over at any moment.....
Another one is thinking back to older King of Prism media and wondering what Shine was doing at that time. Like, I imagine him floating there inside Shin all bored and pissed off making sarcastic comments at whatever the Edel Rose boys are doing. And I find this hilarious for some reason. I’d make a webcomic about it if I could draw.
ANYWAY 
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So my understanding of this scene (which may or may not be totally correct) is: The Edel Rose boys’ rings put a seal on Shine which drags him down back into the depths of where Rinne first plunged him. But before he goes, he installs(?) his powers into Shin so that Shin is free to use Shine’s powers on his own now. (Up until now he was just like borrowing them?) 
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If you also briefly wondered how they could have gotten a perfect score after failing a jump, my guess is the Prism System just wasn’t recording at that time due to the lack of prism sparkle ahah ha. 
They absolutely mopped the floor with the new Shuffle, and it did not matter.
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What makes this so nuts to me is that even before I saw Part 4, like way back after I first saw episode 5 I was already comparing Joji to a twisted Hiro. (Elaborated on this in my episode 5 post.) And then this aha. 
So in the theatrical version I swear the crowd here has light blue lights. And I wondered if it was on purpose to be like inverted Hiro (who goes from light blue -> yellow in the Prism King Cup, so Joji went yellow -> light blue?) but nope, I guess somebody just forgot Joji’s theme color is yellow ahaha. In the TV version they just made it multi-colored. 
So to add more context to some things, you may remember I mentioned before that Part 4 premiered in Japanese theaters in the gap between when Taiga and Kakeru’s episodes aired on TV. So by the time Joji’s episode aired on TV... I already knew this was gonna happen. I already knew we were watching the number one prism show. THE CHAMP. The only 2D prism show.... SO MUCH IRONY. 
But you know what. Despite his show being what it was..... After all the time to let it sink in.. After all the dust has settled.... the one solo song which is my clear favorite..... The only one which has gotten stuck in my head WAY MORE than ANY other.... is Joji’s. 
(Well, Ace’s. But still.)
So. 
Congrats Prism Champ. 
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Never thought I’d say this but poor Jin. Even when he ACTUALLY TRIES to do something fair for once...... still......
(Goddammit Shine.)
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Poor Joji? Or not. It’s hard to feel bad for him when he’s THE PRISM CHAMP ahaha. Like. He made it. He has everything he ever strived to obtain. On the surface anyway. 
How Nori-kun feels about this though, who knows. Will we ever?
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DOES IT REALLY NOT? Haha I really don’t understand this at all. Like. Was it really political pressure? Did Jin fold since he didn’t win in the way that he wanted to? Did Kakeru pull some strings behind the scenes again?
*throws hands in the air*
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AND THIS
It’s framed to be this super significant scene but
WHAT DOES IT MEANNNNNNNN
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I have already touched on this in separate posts, and this post is so long already that I’m going to kind of leave it hanging here but I consider Kakeru’s plot in SSS to be a loose end. He was the only boy who did not have a plot with some kind of resolution about himself. Instead Kakeru’s plot was only about other people.....
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FINALLY, the ultimate conclusion to the infamous curry plot of Pride the Hero.
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AND FINALLY
YOU
GUYS 
I WAS SO MAD 
The official King of Prism Twitter and such were actually pretty good at hiding Dorachi before Alexander’s episode aired. But Torachi was just EVERYWHERE and I was like COME... ON. REALLY.
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So you may have noticed this but he was added to the opening too. For us seeing SSS in the theaters, we only get one OP per showing. So this means Japan actually got this spoiled before episode 10. 
But I didn’t. I didn’t even notice because I just wasn’t thinking to look for it. (Also I guess sitting in a terrible seat to the far right twisting my neck at an angle may have had something to do with it but.) When I first saw the reveal of Torachi in episode 12 it was TOTAL SURPRISE for me......
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But as much as I love Taiga though, Dorachi is my clear favorite. My Dorachi merch collection will start as soon as I can get my hands on ANYTHING
Also I wonder at what point Alexander figured out that DJ COO was Rei, because he sure knows now ahah. 
But anyway, speaking of spoilers....
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I know I said at one point Nikkanen and the twins didn’t have any significant appearances in SSS, but that was before Part 4 and I just decided not to correct that and let you guys be surprised AHAHAH you’ll just have to hate me *BLASTS OFF INTO THE SUNSET*
(I’m so glad they seem to have cleaned up Nikkanen’s face a little. He looked so weird in the theater. Or like.... weirder at least.)
(If you don’t know these boys they are already established characters introduced on the Prism Rush mobile game.)
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And what do THESE feathers mean..... 
LOUIS ISN’T DYING ANYMORE DONT CARE *NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM* 
By the way I can’t believe the prism sparkle disappearing and Louis becoming the protector of the world WAS FORESHADOWED IN ROAD TO SSS 9. That’s why I reblogged this post the other day.
It’s so funny how much of Road to SSS didn’t matter. Then you get to event 9 and LITERALLY EVERYTHING MATTERS. 
And again.... speaking of spoilers............
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The week before Yu’s episode aired I AGONIZED about whether to put in some kind of vague hint that the Edel Rose boys new unit name was revealed in that episode (as part of Yu’s prism jump). Ultimately I decided not to. Because even though I didn’t figure it out at the time, I think with even a vague hint I probably would have. Because even when I saw it back then I was like.... “...... huh........” 
So you’re just gonna hafta haaaaaaaaate ahahaahah ha sorry
But anyway! Now I can finally stop referring to our seven stars as the “Edel Rose boys” and from now on call them SeptEntrion! Since calling them just the “Edel Rose boys” isn’t really accurate anymore since it would also include the twins and Nikkanen, etc. I’m happy that the main seven finally have a good name to distinguish them. 
(Now I need to learn to remember how to spell SeptEntrion....) 
Also
You guys in the livestream ruined this for me so I’m ruining it for everyone too.
Look at the red letters. 
Then flip over your desk and storm out of the room like I almost did when I noticed. 
WHY
THERE IS NO WAY THAT IS NOT ON PURPOSE
WHY 
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So, a few weeks ago I was in Tokyo and I decided to stop by the Yotsuya station area.
I found the site of the supposed Yotsuya Credit union  (which is actually a lottery ticket stand) and the KPO KFC almost immediately. 
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I also found out there is a Catholic university in the area, and although it doesn’t look anything like Edel Rose that seems like not a coincidence. 
So I started to walk around that area, but try as I might I could not find any little  shopping streets like the one in the anime. The area didn’t look like it would have that sort of place at all. Also it was POURING RAIN, I was just at Aqours 5th live the previous day, I had at least 6 hours to get home, and I was anxious to make it there with plenty of time for the stream of Alexander’s episode which we were doing that night. I decided to give up and head to the KFC to console myself over chicken, coleslaw, and biscuits before beginning the journey home when LOW AND BEHOLD 
RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE KFC
WAS THIS 
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IT DOES EXIST 
And there is not nearly enough room for SeptEntrion to perform here ahaha. 
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I can’t help but notice that while they used Prism One performance snapshots for all the other boys, Shin is in his old Over the Sunshine outfit. Well I mean. OF COURSE HE IS. But.....
But I really can’t help but wonder what the boys are thinking nowadays in retrospect about what happened. 
I mean, not that they shouldn’t love and trust Shin. Of course they should. 
But if my friend turned to pure evil for a solid 15 minutes I would be.... CONCERNED for him? ?? To say the least. 
The fact that THEY DONT KNOW AND MAY NEVER KNOW really just eats at me
I suppose Louis or June could tell them. But I don’t think Louis ever will since he just wants to protect Shin, and June..... where would she even start. 
Not to mention what does Yamada-san think about how Shin just BECAME Wataru Hibiki like I.... I just have several questions but......
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The cheering audience for the half second we can see Torachi here: “..............................................................AHHHHH!..................................................”
I wondered for weeks what the TV ED would be for this episode, and as soon as Boy Meets Girl started playing I was like...... OF. COURSE.
Hahah I’m glad though. So far the only SeptEntrion version Boy Meets Girl we’ve had was live (at MRS) and I often thought of ripping the audio from the DVD just to have it, but now I won’t have to. The TV audience never got to hear the theatrical ending 366 Love Diary though, which is kind of a shame. That song is such a big part of SSS to me.
So when we do the livestreams, I often have the live episode playing on my actual TV with the sound off. The stream is delayed by a few minutes so it’s been great for cues to help prepare stuff to type into the chat about things coming up.
While you guys were still in the meat of this episode, I casually glanced over my shoulder and saw THIS on my TV
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Shin in the outfit Leo originally made him for the Prism One.
And just started having a seizure that lasted until the credits ended BECAUSE THEN THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE.
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Playing to the left is the theatrical weekly video we got in the third week of Part 4. 
(It has actual dialogue in the theaters, but here they just muted it and laid it over the credits. I went to the theater yesterday JUST to take notes on this for you guys ahaha. Glad I didn’t need to though.)
But like. When I first saw this in the theaters... 
I was so SO sure this was a joke. I mean Prism 2!?! Seriously!? 
But now I don’t know WHAT to think. 
ESPECIALLY ABOUT THIS
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But um. Someone tell me the anime references I’m missing here:
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And which of these are newly revealed YMT29 boys ahah:
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And..... that’s it....
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This is Louis’ coded way of telling Shin he’ll love him forever I guess. 
Aw man
you guys
we made it
ROUND OF APPLAUSE 
Ahhhhhhhhhh
ITS BEEN A JOURNEY
So Part 4 turned out way differently than I predicted. When the episodes were first announced and episode 12 was “Unknown”, my immediate thought was “it’s gonna be Shine.” Especially since the quote for Shin’s episode was something like “what have I done,” I assumed he would gain some memories of the past in episode 11 and was talking about something he/Shine did in the past. Then I thought Shine would perform in episode 12 and cause a bad end. Even though we knew Edel Rose was scheduled for a unit performance, I was skeptical if it would actually happen or not as I doubted Shin would be in any condition to perform in episode 12. (I also wondered if maybe we already HAD already seen their unit show in the OP and thus wouldn’t be getting a new song.) 
But when the CDs were announced and I saw the last one said “unit song” I was like.... ohhh.... I guess they will perform as a unit after all? That’s good? 
Turns out I was right at least in predicting that Shine would get a show, but not that he would STEAL SHIN’S SHOW, and that Shin’s “what have I done” quote was about THE PRESENT DAY and something that Shin DID NOT DO. AHHH THE PAIN. 
Although it really cuts me deep that Shin never learns the truth, I am grateful we got that unit show and a happy ending. 
But.... 
OR IS IT? 
says a voice in my head.
Shine’s coming back someday. And we can’t kill him without blanking Shin. Hghkhgkdhlkdh.
If I didn’t know any better I’d say the grand endgame climax of King of Prism would be SeptEntrion teaching Shine to love. But we already know from director spoilers that supposedly the grand climax is about saving Jin. I have a sinking suspicion Shine and Jin may be connected in some way though. 
Who fucking knows where we’re going from now. 
Other than WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON with Jin, another one of my big questions is does the Prism King Cup even matter anymore? Since the Prism One was supposed to replace it, but that didn’t go so well. HAHAH are we REALLY doing the Prism Two come on now..........
But anyway. I suppose there is no point in drawing this out it any further
for now
this is THE END
Thank you all SO MUCH for coming on this journey with me
It’s been such a joy sharing all this with you
And I hope to see you around
SHINY SEVEN STARS FOREVER
EDEL ROSE SPARKING
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skzchuu-blog · 6 years
Text
minsung ↬ the parents
word count: 1376 words
point of view: third person
genre: angst, romance, slight fluff
group: stray kids (skz)
member: lee minho, han jisung
pairing: lee minho x han jisung (minsung)
storyline: in which lee minho and han jisung try to convince their parents to let them date.
warnings: homophobic mentions/applications
a/n: okay first of all, I don't know their parents and im sure theyre wonderful people.
Happy birthday Minho, thank you so much for existing~
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"Minho~, are you ready yet?" Jisung asks knocking on the door to the boys bedroom.
"No, not yet!" Minho yells back from the other side of the door, mentally cursing his boyfriend for being so impatient but he knew Jisung couldn't help but complain, he got bored easily.
"It's been 10 minutes already~." He drags out his words, admitting to his annoyance. Minho sighs, Jisung is right. Minho simply didn't want to see his parents again, not in the slightest. In fact, Minho had been stalling himself, telling himself that “His hair didn't look perfect enough,” or “He didn’t look proper enough to have his parents see him like this,” that he hadn't even realized how much time had passed. He hadn't done anything special to his appearance in the first place, he looked the same, going over the same old parts of his hair, and putting the same shirts back on. He had been playing a game with himself ever since he planned having a meal with his parents and Jisung. His boyfriend had thought of the brilliantt  idea of having dinner at his parents house to show them how perfect the two of them are together. He dropped the brush and the hair spray from his shaky hands, walking out his bedroom, greeted by his impatient boyfriend, who pulled him to the car without any words exchanged. Minho entered in the driver's seat while Jisung sat on the driver's seat next to him. 
The problem is Minho’s parents have never been the most cultured people in the world. He made Jisung completely aware of this a year ago when they had started secretly dating. He was more fortunate than others, his parents were not belittling, but they were not accepting either. They made racist and homophobic jokes on occasion and made Minho feel terrible about himself and his sexuality. Jisung didn't know this of course, otherwise Jisung would have never asked Minho to do this.
When Minho asked Jisung out he didn't even think about the situation he was in, he was so excited to be with him that he found himself jumping at the idea, delighted to be able to call Jisung his. Minho still has yet to tell his parents, it would be announced to them for the first time tonight. Bloody hell., was he scared.
His palms were sweating and his knees were weak. He felt like nothing would be the same if he told Jisung, or if he didn't tell him and he found out about his situation tonight but still he didn't say anything. He simply kept his lips pursed and told himself everything would be okay. They had worked too hard to stay together and he hoped after this, they would only work harder, or maybe even stay the same. He hoped nothing would go to waste. Minho would never want that to happen. He wanted to be happy, He wanted Jisung to happy, she wanted them to be happy.
When Minho met his  family they had treated him so wonderfully. He had felt like one of their very own children. They had told him funny stories, fed him all the food in the house, and even gave him flowers and chocolates to take back home. He was so ashamed that he had to doubt his parents would do the same for Jisung. He had no idea whether or not Jisung’s experience would be anything like his.
As they grew closer to his parents house Minho could feel himself going frozen cold, tears starting to well up in the corners of his eyes. Quickly, he soaked them up with his hands. Jisung had been looking though, there was no hiding it now. “You’re scared now, aren't you?’ Jisung says, his eyes looking sincere. Minho didn't dare look over at him though, he kept his eyes on the road, knowing if he looked at his boyfriends beautiful face he would break down. Still, he nodded. “Don't be scared, MinMin. I can handle it even if they hate my guts.” He smiles brightly, slipping his hands into Minho’s hand that laid on the hand rest. “We’ll be together forever.”
Minho could feel a smile creeping at the corners of his mouth, thankful to have such an amazing man in his life, even if he was still hesitant. Minho pulled into the driveway, finally having the courage to look over at Jisung. Now, he didn't feel like he needed to worry, he felt that he needed to be confident. Simply from the sound of Jisung’s voice and the feeling of his hands in his.
Minho pulled the brake, turning off the car. The two allowed themselves to get out the car by letting go of each others hands. They practically ran back towards each other, latching their hands again. They walked up the driveway, knocking on the front door. Almost immediately the door opened.
“Minho!” His mom cheers excitedly. She seemed happy to see her son after so long. Minho smiled, greeting his mom back happily. He could feel Jisung pulling his hand away but Minho only held it tighter. His hand was the only thing keeping him calm in that moment. His mother let them in and they entered proudly, making eye contact with each other for almost a second, before looking away shyly. His parents looked at each other curiously at the new aura that had entered their home, undoubtedly noticing their son holding hands tightly with another boy.
They seemed to ignore it, Minho’s father ushering them into the dining room to sit down. The two love birds sat next to each other, his father sitting across from him, whilst his mother walked into the kitchen.
Quickly, his father started to make small talk. Conversating about the recent football game, the weather, anything he could think of. Jisung had versed himself in both the mother’s and the father’s interested and even became interested in some of the things they liked. Such as cooking and sports so he easily blended in, even better than Minho.
Minho had really got himself a smooth talker.
Soon enough, his mother came in with the food, placing it on the table. “Dig in.” She tells everyone, allowing the three men to stuff their faces as she removed her apron.
“Ms.Lee, did you use extra flour in this flour?” Jisung asks. His mothers eyes widened at his observation skills.
“I did! How did you know? Does it stand out that much, is it bad?” She asks.
“No! No!” Jisung tells her. “Its great! You really have great taste in your food and wonderful cooking skills!” He smiles brightly making Minho’s mother smile as well. What a happy virus.
‘Wow, I'm impressed.” She says happily. His father shakes his head with a smile, happy to have a wife who cooks so well.
The meal went on and Jisung continued to impress the parents of his boyfriend before eventually the dinner table went silent. Finally, another topic was brought up, surprisingly, by Minho himself.
“Mom, Dad.” Minho says with a deep breath. He earned hums from each of the older adults stuffing their faces. “Can I tell you something important?”
His mom swallowed her food, feeling the seriousness of this situation. “Of course son.” His father nods, giving him an insuring look.
Minho looked down at his plate of food. “I don't have a girlfriend, I lied.” He tells them.
“What? Why did you lie? Tha-” He cut his father off before he could on.
“Its a boy. I'm dating Jisung.”
They looked at their son. What had he said? They looked between the two boys sitting across from them, both avoiding eye contact. They seemed hesitate to say anything. His mom nudged his dad to say something. “... Well … do you love each other?” The boys nodded. “Then I guess it's okay?” His dad says, questioning his own words. He had not believed what he was saying but Jisung was a good boy, and his son could never do wrong. They were trying and that's all that mattered to his father. His parents looked at each other spectacle, at least they were trying to understand. That's all they could want. Thank you for trying.
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faunusrights · 5 years
Text
OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 5
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oh dear
Though she’d had time to slip back into her shoes and soothe away the immediate pain of Emerald’s silence, the journey here had left her no less raw, a persistent frown curling her lips.
i said this last time but i’m still really enjoying the cinder narration we’re getting in the remaster... i also know it’s what really will be the final nail in my coffin, but c’est la vie.
of course it means we get 2 see this sadder cinder and i! dont like it AAAAAAAA!! i preferred it when we had no idea what her motives were so then Me Caring About This Round Child could be delayed but now we’re in full force i-love-cinder territory!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLEASE....
i literally googled maikoa’s name JUST IN CASE SOME BUGGERY WAS GOING ON but i think we’re safe. no hidden double meanings. no secrets....
Her lips pinched together, watching a Faunus with broken antlers lower his head to avoid Maikoa’s gaze, others with similar signs of abuse doing the same. It was a familiar move, one she recognized intimately.
i BEG to be free of this depression!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD. GOD I DO NOT LIKE THIS PART!!!!!! and what do u mean recognised intimately hello??????
Golden eyes scanned the streets, the Faunus all turning their heads away as her gaze fell over them. Most were older than Maikoa. Others were children, their horns and fangs still growing in.
im sad now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SAD,
Pristine steps rose to a porch lined with pots of Angel’s Trumpets, and Cinder’s smile thinned. It almost looked cozy.
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NEVER FUCKING MIND WHAT I SAID ABT HIS NAME I WAS WRONG,
“Do you often question your superiors?” Cinder asked.
[...]
But even without the slow shake of his head, Cinder already knew the answer to her own question. There were too few scars to be seen on Maikoa to indicate he had ever refused an order from the White Fang.
theres like.... HISTORY HERE...... and im SO UNBEARABLY CURIOUS as to what it IS. like. im tryna figure out. if her superiority over him stems from her dealing w. the fang, or if. shes actually been. a LOT closer than we know. cinder’s history is SO muddied and even though i know we’ll discover some of it im endlessly curious because I Know Some Other Shit that makes me WONDER.................... is there more to this....
Cinder blinked down at the key, not missing the way her title was tacked on as an afterthought. That same heat from before pooled in her cavernous ribcage. Violence collected at her twitching fingers, old scars across her body flaring with phantom pain.
That old itch again, like every wound rubbed raw.
THERE’S SOMETHING MORE HERE AND I JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHAT PLEASE I WANT TO K N O W
like the interactions w/ cinder and the fang are so specific and im like. i just. whats going on. WHATS HAPPENING. HEWWO????????? am i misreading it.... maybe..... but also...... hm,
“Tell me, Maikoa, do you think Sienna Khan would care if I killed you right now?”
i never said i would write cinder/sienna fic but hey if you put a gun to my head i certainly wouldn’t say NO.....
Around them, the Faunus that had been sheltering close to doorways and alleys had begun to take notice of what was happening. They stood watching openly, their ears all pricked and swiveled towards the scene.
you know what im gonna say it. cinder is just. GOD. she thinks of herself as powered by that sorta burning spite??? that she works for HER MACHINATIONS and boots ppl up the ass if she feels like it but. i just. shes like ‘im not gonna care!!! gonna do my thing and not give a shit’ but she gives so many shits. every day, new shit, and she’s giving it out like she’s at a soup kitchen. of shit. and i LOVE IT GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cinder ‘i have never cared’ fall is actually cinder ‘i have ALWAYS cared ALWAYS’ fall and i BELIEVE IN THIS because u kno. u kno that rly. a lil piece of her aint gonna give her the satisfaction of being a stone cold bitch!!!!!!!!
Cinder had made arrangements with the White Fang’s leader herself, and Sienna Khan wasn’t known for a bleeding heart.
NEVER SAID I’D WRITE IT BUT I NEVER SAID I WOULDN’T WRITE THE CINDER/SIENNA FIC,
On the edges of her peripherals, Cinder saw the people stepping closer, their attention rapturous. It occurred to her that they probably viewed her as a savior, someone to break the shackles of their enslavement to the White Fang. Someone altruistic. Someone not motivated entirely by spite.
They didn’t know her.
The White Fang would send another overseer—they always did—and by that time, the white-hot resentment licking at the inside of her ribcage would have exhausted, her own plans taking her far away. There would be another overseer, the inhabitants would resume their harried lives, and Cinder wouldn’t spare this town a second thought.
Besides, a nagging part of her insisted, this town would probably not survive the coming days.
but theyre ON HER MIND.... IS..... THE THING..... like out of all we’ve seen of her narration so farm she DOES think abt it she IS aware of it and she DOES recognise it and all of this is just her. trying to say to herself ‘you dont care this isnt yr business’ but i just. MMMMMM ITS A LIE. SHES LYIN. and because of [SPOILERS WO~AH] im like. bitch. bitch,
okay moving on from vague cinder feels but i AM right i WONT BE SWAYED,
FROM THE CINDER, TO THE GLYNDA...
She didn’t stop, continuing on with scarcely a moment’s respite, her body drawn by the increasing tug of Cinder’s location.
👈😎👈
And she found, though she’d only hunted Grimm in the past, the trail Cinder left was similar enough, black smoke hanging in the air like a veil.
👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈
okay honestly if i keep grabbing bits the rest of this will become a huge emojifest but there’s. there’s a lot of Hints being dropped. just So Many. LIKE JUST A LOT LIKE. 
im rly loving the deserts clashes tho we get some Peak Cinder and Peak Hunter Glynda too its all very 👌👌👌💦
In her soft Beacon years, she had forgotten how a hunt made unnecessary things wilt and die to make room for stronger senses, and even forgotten how to use those stronger senses. Now, it was as if she had never lost them. Her blood didn’t just sing to her now; it roared like the engine of a great machine, and the prickle in her flesh at Cinder’s presence was like needles.
a few things abt this passage:
ONE. i rly like that shift to ‘soft beacon years’, because i think that rly draws a line in the sand (hoho) from glynda ‘i gotta protect beacon its my home i belong here’ goodwitch to the current glynda ‘cinder is my goal beacon is behind me right here right now she is my one focus’ goodwitch. this hyperfocus is, firstly, a mood, and also just a rly good character tidbit we stan this autistic bitch,
TWO: 👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈 fuck off!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF GOD THAT BIT IS BRAZEN
She had been young then, yet to learn or respect the emotions people expected from her.
WE STAN ONE AUTISTIC BITCH!!!!
For the first time since she’d fully committed herself to the hunt, Glynda felt the prick of displacement. A small, distant part of her wanted to go home.
i cant wait to publish the bingo card i made JUST for offal hunt because rn that shit would be pretty chockablock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A few minutes later, her Scroll buzzed again. Ozpin passed her the details for a secure communication channel to an Atlesian address, belonging to one Special Operative Winter Schnee.
YES HERE SHE COMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE APPROACHES,
okay so THAT’S CHAPTER 5 DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
honestly this one really WAS OUT TO HURT ME and i Hated Every Second but i still am out here knowin Cinder Lies To Herself Most Of All and also Glynda Is One Big Old Dumbass,
thank god winter will maybe salvage this probably maybe not
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8147 · 6 years
Text
reading hamlet for the first time (act 5: the finale)
masterlist
none of you told me it was going to be this painful . none of you.
a5s1
“Ophelia’s dead.” “Enter CLOWNS!”
Like im sure this has a different meaning in EMA but im gonna make fun of it because it’s fucking hilarious. (future (present? (now past once more (?))) antares coming back to say i did look at nfs and yeah theyre gravediggers)
“First Clown: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter? Second Clown: The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.” damn not even just this one quote but these are some depressing clowns
hamlet and horatio!
okay there’s something about all of hamlet’s skull talk that makes me uneasy. like, not even the topic, just something in the words and how earnestly and (pardon my pun) gravely hamlet’s speaking about this. and it’s almost a mournful tune, too. it’s a huge difference from his “we’ll all be eaten by the same worms” speech to the point that it’s almost haunting.
“HAMLET: I will speak to this fellow.” C O N F R O N T
“HAMLET: I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.” (incomprehensible scribbling)
HAMLET, NOT IN ENGLAND: oh yeah lol he was sent to england huh u know why lmao
wait. did the. did the pirate situation get resolved. before act V.
I mean i think hamlet mentioned something about three years but the pirates are so fucking glossed over like what the fuck
“First Clown: 'Twill, a not be seen in him there; there the men are as mad as he.” HOLY SHIT ROAST THEM JFC
“HAMLET: Let me see. (Takes the skull)” THIS IS THE SKULL SCENE! I fucking KNEW it was bullshit that holding the skull was in the to be/not to be speech. I saw it being presented as such like once or twice while reading and I KNEW IT
hm okay so hamlet picks up this guys skull, of someone he used to know, and sure maybe i could ignore the “those lips i have kissed” but then he goes on to mention alexander the great and i mean come on
but jesus like i feel like im not doing justice to the stuff hamlet’s saying. just, the gravity of it all. Its kinda hitting home a bit hard bc like ive had a crippling fear of what happens after death and being forgotten etc since i was like in fourth grade and this is @ing that phobia
like, with that julius ceasar thing. “O that that earth which kept the world in awe / should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw,” it’s so strange. like, every fucking human who has lived, whether they be emperors, murderers, inventors, peasants, or philanthropists- as long as they weren’t blind, they’ve all looked at the same sky. like. It doesnt matter what the fuck you did or didn’t. It’s wild.
“First Priest: No more be done: We should profane the service of the dead To sing a requiem and such rest to her As to peace-parted souls.” hey i get that there are cultural taboos around suicide but like this guy’s a dick it isnt even clear if it was suicide, like, she was so fucking crazy she might not have even known she was, y’know, in a lake or w/e
laertes, dude, my guy. maybe jumping into a grave is cosmic foreshadowing for something you don’t want to happen to you. js.
“HAMLET: [Advancing] What is he whose grief Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I, Hamlet the Dane. (Leaps into the grave)” hamlet is NOT one to be out-extra’d (posting-antares here to say, wait, ‘whose phrase of sorrow conjures the stars? is this my aesthetic-speeches-summon-ghosts theory? probably not, but i havent mentioned it for a while)
“LAERTES: The devil take thy soul! (Grappling with him)” IN A FUCKING GRAVE. THEY ARE FIGHTING. IN A GRAVE.
all because hamlet doesn’t want to be out-extra’d. my god.
“QUEEN GERTRUDE: This is mere madness: And thus awhile the fit will work on him; Anon, as patient as the female dove, When that her golden couplets are disclosed, His silence will sit drooping.” Ah yes gertie just talk about the distraught and angry madman as if he isn’t there. that’ll diffuse the situation.
You know what? We still haven’t discussed the pirates.
a5s2
“HAMLET: So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other; You do remember all the circumstance?” If this isn’t gonna be about the pirates im gonna. scream.
“HAMLET: My fears forgetting manners, to unseal Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio,-- O royal knavery!--an exact command, Larded with many several sorts of reasons Importing Denmark's health and England's too, With, ho! such bugs and goblins in my life, That, on the supervise, no leisure bated, No, not to stay the grinding of the axe, My head should be struck off.” god, though. imagine that. being exiled to another country by the person who killed your father, only to find out that they were going to have you killed, anyways. that’s fucking terrifying. jesus christ.
Damn this idea that pretty handwriting is ~beneath~ nobles confuses me so fucking much. I got called haughty once just because my main handwriting is cursive. I mean, they were right, but their evidence was circumstantial at best.
“HAMLET: That, on the view and knowing of these contents, Without debatement further, more or less, He should the bearers put to sudden death, Not shriving-time allow'd.” Hamlet’s Revenge. 
but also, what the fuck, dude. two wrongs dont make a right.
damn i kinda lost myself while reading but it really doesn’t sound like hamlet’s insane anymore. Like he’s… tempered himself. he doesn’t feel insane, just solemn.
“OSRIC: Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark. HAMLET: I humbly thank you, sir. Dost know this water-fly?” goddamn ROAST HIM HAMLET (also what a fucking mood)
Osric put on your fucking ha--
The wind is
The wind is northerly
“HAMLET: No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.” I remember someone saying that this is important
Okay here: “HAMLET: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.”
oh no
Osric just wear ur fucking hat u doof
“OSRIC: Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry,--as 'twere,--I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: sir, this is the matter,-- HAMLET: I beseech you, remember-- (HAMLET moves him to put on his hat)” excuse me a WAGER
but alas all hamlet cares about is osric’s fucking hat
“HAMLET: What's his weapon? OSRIC: Rapier and dagger. HAMLET: That's two of his weapons: but, well.” hamlet u sarcastic little shit i love you
I mean so is horatio. I love him too.
This stuff with the competition is. not gonna end well. not at well.
“HAMLET: I do not think so: since he went into France, I have been in continual practise: I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart: but it is no matter.”
hamlet no. listen to your heart or whatever. jesus christ don’t do it.
“HORATIO: Nay, good my lord,--” HAMLET LISTEN TO HORATIO
Ohhh hamlet
okay reading what laertes said, you know what? i’m giving laertes one last chance. please do not prove me a fool, laertes. 
everything is giving me mad anxiety. e v e r y t h i n g.
claud’s speech is insanely sketchy
“KING CLAUDIUS: [Aside] It is the poison'd cup: it is too late.” One, so that’s why it was sketchy. Two, the POISONED CUP?
IT’S TOO LATE?
Gertie’s. Dead.
Shit, shit, shit
“LAERTES: [Aside] And yet 'tis almost 'gainst my conscience.” YES! SO PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING!
“LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES.” Oh no oh no oh jeez eheu they’re hurting each other, shit, fuck,
“LAERTES: ...woodcock…”
“KING CLAUDIUS: She swounds to see them bleed. QUEEN GERTRUDE: No, no, the drink, the drink,--O my dear Hamlet,-- The drink, the drink! I am poison'd. (Dies)” one, i love how claud is desperatley trying to stick to the plan, its almost adorable in a childish sort of way. two, oh god. ohhh god. gertie. 
Oh no. 
this is the bloodbath. THIS IS THE BLOODBATH.
BODY COUNT: 1
“HAMLET: The point!--envenom'd too! Then, venom, to thy work. (Stabs KING CLAUDIUS)” ...
BODY COUNT: 2
wait and hamlet’s on death row, as with laertes. Oh no.
“LAERTES: He is justly served; It is a poison temper'd by himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me. (Dies)’ oh my god already??? I haven’t even really accepted king claud’s death?? jesus christ??
My friend just sorta nudged me and asked if i was alright and i. I’m not. i’m in shock. goddamn. what?
BODY COUNT: 3
goodness thats three in like less than thirty seconds JESUS CHRIST
“HAMLET: Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.I am dead, Horatio.” that’s chilling. just, the poignancy. that’s so fucking spectral. i’m not okay.
“HORATIO: Never believe it: I am more an antique Roman than a Dane: Here's yet some liquor left.” No no no on no nononon NO NO oh my god are you going to-
“HAMLET: As thou'rt a man, Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't. … If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from felicity awhile, And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story.” hey i’m crying in study hall. i’m actually crying. what the fuck. I don’t cry unless i’m thinking about that one pair of 18th century shoes with the really good photo quality (transcribing-antares here. I fucking love those shoes. I’m looking at them right now and they’re so fucking beautiful. they look how velvet feels, which is odd, bc they're apparently silk. I don’t care they’re just so fucking lovely)
F O R T I N B R A S?
“HAMLET: O, I die, Horatio; The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit.” I’ve identified my emotion. Dread. pure, unadulterated Dread.
for all of you that’ve listened to the penumbra podcast: do you remember the concierge, right before final resting place, saying “you do realize you can just like, leave, and everything will be hunky dory and you won’t have to deal with the emotional consequences this episode will bring you” because i’m seriously considering doing that right now.
“HAMLET: The rest is silence. (Dies)” shit. (posting-antares here to say that i forgot to do the body count but honestly im crying while formating because of this goddamn fucking 400 year old play)
“HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince…” oh god. horatio.
“Good night sweet prince…”
(yet again tis transcribing-antares here to say that im fucking sobbing right now, the shoes are no match for this, and ‘goodnight sweet prince’ is actually never going to leave my head.) (editing-antares here to say im fucking crying again god fucking damn it) (posting-antares back again saying that this fucking line. this line. my god.)
“HORATIO: What is it ye would see? If aught of woe or wonder, cease your search.” oh, horatio. god. that isn’t something said without tears staining your skin and a bitter tone hard-won, not that its possession is a victory.
oh my god. this can’t. no. this can’t end like this. What. no. people must have rioted. No. no!!
i typically hate it but i would GLADLY accept a deus ex machina right about now!!
okay my friend just took my phone away from me and shut it off because i kept on trying to scroll past the end
jesus christ
okay so i’m not going to be okay for like, several eternities, so im going to play the sims until i. until i die, probably. my god.
masterlist
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Note
hi hi ! i have a huuge crush on a v close friend of mine. i honestly think i'm in love with her. i have a strong feeling she has feelings for me too, idk if they're exactly the same as mine. but.. i have a problem where i feel like she's too good for me. she's above average attractive and could get anyone. she's accomplished a lot too. i feel like she deserves better than me no matter how she may feel about me. i'm a LITTLE younger than her so i'm not as settled in life. idk what to do :( part 1
(part 2). i've reached a point in my feelings where i can't contain them anymore and i feel like i HAVE to tell her because i don't know how to calm them down. but if i tell her, i won't be able to take it back. & whats the point in telling her if i feel like i'm not good enough (therefor not wanting a relationship out of insecurity). we may be a perfect match tbh but i don't like my appearance or where i am in life. i lack relationship experience while shes had a ton.. (this is so long im sry)+
(last part, 3). she's also pretty popular so i don't want to ruin her reputation by being with her. but i noticed i've always thought this about every person i've ever liked lol so idk. she's also kind of involved with someone else and has been for a long time but theyre not serious and idk if they'll ever be. that person is just one of the many things in the way. okay im done .. thank you so much for reading this and responding 💖💖
okay so im gonna try to unpack this bc there is a bunch of things going on, so i’ll try to tackle them separately, but we’ll see.
1) just because you are behind someone in some kind of life achievement, whether it is relationships or just life in general, it does not mean that they are necessarily actually ahead of you in these things. like, sure, you are younger and less experienced than she is, but experience by its own definition is not static. if you do get with her, that would already be something you are experiencing and learning from as a person, and wouldn’t it just be great to share this with someone you love?
2) i don’t want to imply that you are not allowed to be insecure, because a lot of times when other people say that i always read it as something they just feel they have to say just to make me feel better, so i’m not trying to do that. what i do want to say is that whenever our insecurities hold us back from doing things, it’s not actually them doing it. it is how we see our insecurities and how much time we allocate to spend thinking them all over are what makes us doubt our actions, feelings, and, in some cases, existence. im sure most people think that the person they are in love with deserves someone better, you are not alone at that. what’s more, i’m sure that she has tons of insecurities too! i don’t mean to just shout “nobody is perfect!!1!!” at you, but i do think that, even though some things are out of your control, you can change the amount of effort you put into caring about these things. effort is discipline, and that’s basically a muscle that you can exercise. if you are insecure about some parts of your appearance, think about the parts that you do like! if you are in a shaky spot in your life, try to find some peace once in a while. you don’t have to rush into things, take your time, but do pick a direction in which you will move.
3) if you feel like you will explode with your feelings, i would say you should ease into it. first, find some minor outlet for your emotions, be that writing or art, just something into which you can pour the love and help you alleviate the critical levels. (speaking from personal experience, this really helps. not only will you be able to see the situation with a more logical point of view, but also will find the process of creating art out of love rewarding) second, if you do decide to tell her about your feelings, make sure that the conversation does not come out of nowhere. does she have any idea about your feelings? if you don’t think she does, i would say it would be good if you let her prepare for this conversation. maybe flirt a bit, or (you haven’t indicated your gender so i’m just saying this just in case you are someone other than a straight guy) make sure she knows that you are into girls, try to spend more time with her, etc. if she does feel the same/similar way, maybe she’s also unsure about your feelings, so it would be a good thing to indicate at least some level of attraction before you actually have The Conversation.
4) in regards to the other person with whom she’s involved, i would be a bit more careful about that. on one hand, it really could be not that serious, but in this situation you might not know all the information, so i would really check everything. on another hand, if she is in a long term but not serious relationship, how would you know if she wants to have a serious relationship with someone else? i think you should definitely find out what she wants prior to confessing, because you might have different views on what you want out of a relationship, not even necessarily between the two of you, but just in general.
5) if you do decide to tell her, and she does reciprocate your feelings, let her decide if dating you is something that would “ruin her reputation.” if she does feel some way about you, this shouldn’t matter.
good luck!! i hope i helped in some way!!
- mod v
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thelaurenshippen · 6 years
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uhmm.. i worry i might be the only one thinking like this but? im not entirely a fan of the gang gathering up to ward off damien from having ANY friends? like,i do think warnings of toxicity are necessary but none of them are really a mutual friend with rose and her and damiens possible friendship was nipped in the bud. idk people change people, and if damien gets pissed that theyre engaging in a potentially toxic behavior as well in isolating him-- well saying "you were worse" doesnt (1/?)
justify it??? like..i KNOW damiens abusive and him getting beat up was GREAT… but im not a fan of the group ganging up on any possible friends of damien and stopping it? again, people change people and especially if damien was to get involved with a friend who is good at emotionally mature convos like rose seems to be??? i think thatd be awful of the group to do and though i excuse this as “dr. bright acting on being rose’s therapist” as valid, if its someone NONE of them know and they (2/?)
get involved??? i dont agree with damien on anything but i would definitely be in his corner for the inevitable blow-out of isolating him. and idk i would be a big fan of damien having a relationship with someone where,if his power returns, he is a bit conflicted because it means he will be manipulating his friend. idk im a big fan of bad characters growing into decent ones, and if damien never becomes one,thats fine. but id hate it if he didnt purely because of that kind of interference (¾)
am i crazy for thinking that??? (4/4)
First of all, no you’re not crazy for thinking that - I think you’re probably not alone in feeling this way. But, okay, this turned into a long one, so more under the cut. 
I think it’s important to think about the information that the group has - they only know Damien as someone who has manipulated and abused them (granted, this is a little more complicated for Mark, but we’ll get to that) and they only know Rose as a seemingly innocent patient of Dr. Bright’s who got caught in his orbit. Damien has been known to use mostly unrelated people to get to people he’s targeting - using Adam to get to Wadsworth, threats against Sam to get to Mark and Dr. Bright, etc. So when Dr. Bright shows up to meet Rose and Damien is there she, as Sam said, “freaks”. 
Does that mean it’s the gang’s place to determine who is in Damien’s life? No. Does that mean they feel a responsibility to warn Rose about Damien’s pattern of behavior? Yes. Does that mean the actions they take are completely without fault? Absolutely not. Nothing any of these people do is without fault. 
Rose is a grown woman who can make her own decisions. She’d only met with Damien a few times, but she also doesn’t know any of the group very well, except for her therapist and this is a pretty weird situation in which to see her shrink. She’s going to have to make judgements on her own about who to trust based on the information she has. 
What the group said to Rose is not dissimilar to what Damien said to her - after she approached him, he warned her against what The AM was capable of. But she had a good experience there - Agent Green made sure she was well taken care of and it really helped her. With the new information Damien gave her, she’ll have to make her own judgement. Should Damien not have told her about the shadier stuff The AM does? Will that keep her from going back there when she really needs help?
I agree that people change people, but if Damien doesn’t grow into a decent person, it won’t be because the gang interfered in whatever tentative acquaintance-ship he’d struck up with Rose. It will be because he consistently and continually chooses not to change. Dr. Bright began the series as someone who lied and manipulated but she ultimately made an effort to own up to her mistakes, apologize, and try and be more open. This doesn’t mean she’s perfect, but she is constantly trying to be better. We haven’t seen that kind of behavior from Damien, so there’s not really a strong argument for him making huge changes just because he met Rose or doesn’t have access to his power anymore.  
They are imperfect and messy and are literally constantly making bad, potentially damaging choices, but, in this particular instance, I would have made the exact same decision the group made to warn Rose. They don’t control her - they’re not trying to forbid her from seeing Damien, they want her to be part of a decision despite the fact that she makes it clear she doesn’t have a strong connection to Damien that she wants to defend - but they want to make sure she doesn’t put herself in danger. In telling her, they’re not thinking about ruining Damien’s life or ganging up on him; they’re thinking about protecting Rose.
This is probably the moment for me to acknowledge some inherent, strong bias I have about this kind of stuff. I work in an industry that is now notorious for our spreadsheets of terrible men (many of which I have been seeing for years). I’m very glad to see some of these terrible men being torn down, but my community still very much operates on women (and LGBT folks) warning each other about scary, abusive people. Some of the people I hear about are people I’ve had perfectly nice interactions with. And then I have to make a judgement call based on the info I have. Given how much this topic has been in my conversations over the past five months, I think a lot of that bled through into my writing, for whatever that’s worth.
Some of the people I’ve encountered I bet could change - I hope some of those people do change. But taking that on is an enormous responsibility. Maybe it’s one that Rose would want to take on but maybe Damien was never interested in being her friend in the first place - he’s certainly never shown interest in growing a relationship with anyone, with the exception of Mark. And I personally believe it is never the abused’s responsibility to redeem their abuser. 
Sorry for this extremely long-winded reply, but I always want to take the time to talk about these Damien-related things because it is a very sensitive and difficult subject. I really appreciate you vocalizing this view and I absolutely don’t want to suggest that someone like Damien couldn’t become a good person. He could. But he would have to choose to change his behavior and how he treats people and so far, we haven’t seen any indication that he’ll do so. 
Just a head’s up about Episode 48, our next episode: Damien has a pretty difficult conversation that addresses a lot of these ideas of responsibility and abusive cycles. So if he’s someone that you feel a lot of empathy for, just know that before listening!
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m0onbean · 7 years
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skaterboy!AU yoon sanha
category: flOOOOOF note: dedicated to kaka~( @sanhasmoonbuns ) and completely inspired by this super cute photo so i couldn't resist writing this
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at every school there's that "skater" squad that's considered really cool & considered popular
they would skate to school together, skate down the street to the mall, skate in the neighborhood, basically they just SKATE A LOT
and everybody at your school ADORESS THEM
"omg the skaters passed by my house this morning and one of the boys WINKED AT ME AIHFOAFIA"
"wow skaters r so hot"
"have you seen the skaters today ?1!1!! they ditched school omg"
"i'm taking skating lessons now"
but then you're just awkwardly there because you really DON'T care
i mean yeah skateboards are cool but in your opinion the skaters are just edgy teenagers who are rebellious and you don't really find any appeal in that
so one day you have to walk home and you do this thing where you always go another direction from the skaters so you can avoid them
but it's not like it's bc you hate them or anything
you just don't wanna be in the way when they SKRT SKRRTTTTT past you
so there you are walking home with your earplugs in when suddenly you hear that SKRT SKRTTTT
AND YOU'RE SHOOK BECAUSE NOW WAIT A MINUTE A SKATEBOARD'S GONNA RUN OVER ME GOSHDARNIT
and before you can move out of the way bOOM a person crashes into you from behind
and you stumble forward and scrape your knee and it's stinging really badly too
and then you hear a squeaky voice that sounds really worried and he's saying "ARE YOU OKAY" while rushing forward to examine your leg
and at first you're like "yeah i'm good" but then suddenly you get anGRY AND YOU'RE LIKE:
"WHY TF DID YOU RUN OVER ME COULDN'T YOU HAVE LIKE WARNED ME AT LEAST OR TRIED TO GET OUT OF MY WAY THIS SIDEWALK ISNT THAT NARROW"
and the boy which you now take time to look at eyes just widen a little
his hair is brunette and he has messy bangs that fall a little bit over his eyes
he's wearing this red snapback, earbuds are dangling from his pockets, and he's wearing a lot of wristbands
and then you realize huh this boy is actually really cutee!! wait no hes not lol-what am i saying
and he's lowkey scared but then he turns anGRY too and he's like
"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE WALKING SMACK IN THE MIDDLE SO I WOULDNT HAVE CRASHED INTO YOU"
"SO THIS IS MY FAULT?"
"I MEAN, YEAH"
"WHAT, HOW IS IT-"
then you two start bickering over whose fault it was for a solid two minutes before you look down at your phone and realize that you should've been home by now
so you're like oH SHIT we'll continue this argument another day then you usain bolt down the road
the next day, you're at lunch with your friends and you're eating your lunch and socializing
when suddenly a band-aid falls in front of you and when you look up it's tHE SAME BOY FRMO YESTERDAY
and YOUR FRIENDS JUST KINDA LOOK AT HIM THEN LOOK AT YOU THEN LOOK AT HIM 
AND THEYRE IN SHOCK BC WHATS A SKATER BOI DOING HERE
you notice that he's wearing a different outfit this time: backwards snapback and a green hoodie (still with those tangled earbuds though)
and his skateboard is still hanging loosely in his arms
so you give him the stinkeye and you're like "why are you here"
and i guess he wasn't expecting that response because he chokes on his words before coming up with "i got you a band-aid since you scraped your knee"
and you just scoff at him and show him your already bandaged knee
and he's like :O and he reaches his hand to take it back but you're like "no it's okay i'll just save it for the next time you crash into me"
the boy is obviously shocked but then he just laughs and says, "can't wait"
then he leaves not before winking at you and then you turn back to your table and your friends are ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) why didn't you tell us about this
so school ends and you're walking home alone AGAIN unfortunately
but this time sanha is lingering at the school gates while tossing his skateboard in his hand from boredom
then he looks up and sees you and he's like "oh (Y/N) wait up!" and he runs over to you
and you're just like ??¿?¿¿ how do you know my name
regardless, you allow him to walk with you anyways because it's lonely walking alone
and that's how you learn his name which is sanha
you and sanha chat about random shenanigans and argue over small things
"it's better hearing the bad news before the good news because when you hear the good news it'll lift your spirits and make you forget about the bad news and compensate for it"
"but that's false hope and expectation. it's better to hear the good news and THEN hear the bad news so you don't delude yourself into happiness"
and so this becomes a habit now; he would wait for you at the school gates and you two would walk together to your house. he'd watch you go in and skate away.
it becomes such a casual routine now and you actually quite enjoy it
one day you ask sanha why he doesn't hangout with his skater friends after school anymore 
and he just casually says "eh they're no fun compared to you."
and your heart flutters a little bit at his words even though he probably didn't really mean it romantically
as time progresses you find your heartbeat accelerating each time you see him and you would become unusually shy around him
but you being a stubborn cookie, you would never admit to having a crush on sanha although all of your friends know it too well
all of your friends think you guys are dating because you're always seen wearing his snapbacks and hoodies and sharing earbuds in the hallways
plus you two would often hangout during lunch together and sneak off into the back of the school and just listen to music together
and all these little actions he does such as pushing a strand of hair behind your ear or teaching you how to ride a skateboard makes your heart go sssKKKKRRRAAAA 
then on one fateful day as you two are sitting together during lunch sanha suddenly offers to visit the skate park together
and you're like sure! and then he says "ok let's go now" and you're like ب_ب wdym
"let's go to the skate park right now!" he says really cheerfully which is different from his usual chill and calm mood
but YOU'RE LIKE AIWHOADIFH DITCHING SCHOOL ?????
and at first you hit him playfully and scold him for even thinking about skipping school especially since his grades have been doing so well lately
and sanha feels down that you rejected him but then you look at his sad state and you're finally like OK WHATEVER LETS GO YOU LITTLE BRAT
and immediately sanha is (。◕‿‿◕。) again
using his past rebellious experinces, sanha is able to get past the locked school gates with you and your adrenaline is ruuuuuushhing because oh god what if we get caught!!!1!!
but when sanha holds your hand you calm down and you know that he'll protect you <3
once you two make it outside the gates, you both run away as fast as you can before somebody sees and by the time you reach the skate park you're both out of breath bc wow exercise amirite?
and at the skate park you two have lots of fun together (^̮^)
he holds your hands as you try to balance on the skateboard and even tho you're wobbling sanha laughs and encourages you to keep on trying
and once you can finally "ride" the skateboard he's never been so hYPED BEFORE
"yay now we can ride together!!11!!1!"
"sanha i dont have a skateboard lol"
"oh"
so when christmas comes up and sanha is waiting at the school gates you notice a pretty big present box in his hands
and you're like oh?? what's that
and guess what? it's a skateboard he bought for you and it's in a custom design of this really cool black and white sketch
and you're like in LOVE with it because it's so new and nice and pretty and you can't help yourself from hugging sanha really tightly bc wow thanks i love it omg
and you two finally skateboard together (although you occasionally trip and fall down but its ok bc sanha is always somehow there to catch you)
but you didn't forget about sanha's christmas gift!!!
you TOO got sanha a BRAND NEW SKATEBOARD since you notice that the one he uses is rlly old and is about to snap in half
but you put more thought into it by customizing his initials in it and choosing a plain design since sanha isn't into overly decorated things
and when you reveal it to sanha he almost cries because he spent all his money on your gift so he couldn't get a new skateboard but you got it instead for him
and then the next day he shows you that he carved your name onto the skateboard and you blush so hard and at this point your heart is soARRRING FLYINGGG
so in return you put the band-aid he gave you at lunch a long time ago onto the skateboard and he’s like bursting into laughter at the memory and he’s like obsessed with it
and obviously you can't hold your feelings in because you truly love sanha as a friend and as a partner
so one night at the skate park it's completely vacant and the sun is setting with pink clouds looming in the air
and you and sanha are laying down besides eachother in those big bowls used to do cool skateboard tricks while staring at the sky
and like always, you two are sharing earbuds and are listening to chill lofi hiphop music
until suddenly you turn around to face his face as he gets lost in the view above you guys
and you can see his eyes glowing like he's in a dream and you realize the beauty of love and how beautiful sanha is 
and then he looks at you and just smirks "what are you staring at?
"you." you bluntly reply
sanha just chuckles and stares back at you, forgetting about the sky
"are you just now realizing how sexy i am?" sanha teases playfully
you scoff but can't help to smile yourself
then out of the blue you lean forward and peck him on his cheek quickly
aND SANHA fREEZES because WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?!1??
then you confess "i love you" before you can regret it
so he wraps his arms around you and pulls you tighter to him until your face is nuzzled in his hoodie
"i love you too."
“my knee still hurts tho i wont forgive you for that”
“you really know how to ruin the mood”
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fagderolo · 6 years
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cr2 ep 9 notes dump
"roomie?" -f "im fine with that" -m HELL YA U ARE MOLLY U GAY FUCK
"nein" "theres six a ye"
"im not very good so you can take so much money from me" -j [i am watching this from the table, this is the show] -t
"you know what else we should do?" -j "go outside and rob them?" - m "molly cmon now-" -f "sorry" -m (at the same time) "-thats not helpful" -f
"come, unpleasant one, lets go" -m "haha alriight obnoxious one, im with you" -b
"deeply punchable" -m abt the crowns guard
frumpkin on mollys back
beau and fjord moment abt her compliments sounding insincere please that was so good
molly telling nott that some people need every bit of money they have
that whole bit was very good honestly molly talking w nott and nott indulging even tho shes visibly wary of him
"molly do you need to pray over your swords" -f "i did it before you woke up" -m "well next time could you include me in it i dont know if maybe itd help me with my skills" -f ",suure, happily" -m
molly trying to convince fjord specifically to get a bath
"it was given to me... by a wise weirdo" (nott abt advice frm molly g bless)
"...and you, look at you" -c abt m
"...we're going to take the good feelings from that money and spend it on on hot water and inappropriate friendly nudity..." -m
"i find it easier to have this conversation when just everyones sitting around naked in hot water" -m
[i take five steps and i go "i dont know where the blackmith is"] -t
"she was a very grumpy person" i cant deal w how much nott is clinging to this advice god its so good
"ah, hyuck hyuck,,"
kiss on the head to yasha just casually naked
"hey theyre all about to start having sex so you may wanna..." -c [npcs leave] "i dont think they understood that was an invitation" -m
the way yasha says “well” just in general is very good
molly and yasha having a whispering "hi" "hi" "ts good to see you" conversation and then head to head
"3 months worth of shows like that" -m abt the money they make
storm lord. good.
"i vouch for her for what its worth" -m "which means a lot molly" -f "it means what it means" -m
"you run into your friends who are also heading in odd directions" -m
"its easier to look into someones eyes and tell if theyre lying when theyre naked and boiling" -m
"he called you all baby a lot,," -y
"i felt demeaned but in a good way" -m wow okay molly o,,kay
"oh no jester, help" [drowning noises] -f
"do i uh get a nice view" -beau (marisha ig? abt yasha gettin out of the bath)
i dont hug her back but i gently give her one pat -y abt j
"uh,, barry" [with a quick head shake after] -y
"we'll take care of it" -y "im suuure you will" "i sense a little sarcasm in you sir" -y "its a dwarven thing. ive got resting bitch voice"
["its all black velvet, yes, the way the audience thinks vaxs looked thats what i look like right now"] -l
"yeah thats what i thought. quick meeting, right! quick fucking meeting!" [”we're gonna kill that guy" -t]
everything about yasha is good
"we had a bath house episode!" right as its fading
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cakethegreatxx · 7 years
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The Reason
I didn't breakup with you because I don't love you anymore. I broke up with you because we grew toxic for eachother. We crippled eachother, we lost ourselves in our love and drug use, we needed to find ourselves again. We needed to learn how to take care of ourselves. We needed our families back, and i did everything i could to get mine back. That ment losing you in the process and vice virsa. How can someone choose between family and your bestfriend you've loved for almost 4 years? I hear everyday how proud they are for me ending it. I broke my own heart trying to make other people happy. We had our fights, but I could never stay mad at you. When I say toxic, I don't mean that we abused eachother physically.. emotionally though it was on purpose. There was a time we forgot about the whole world, put eachother before everything. You've turned down jobs, disconnected with your family, stole from your family for me. Just to support me. I couldn't let me, stop you from becoming the best you, you could be
I wanted you to feel happy, I needed you to see there was more to life then just me. I went at it the wrong way. I was harsh because it was just to hard letting you go. I haven't let go, and I don't think I will. When I said I'd marry you, I ment it. I still mean it. I tried to get over you, many times. Do you know how much pain and agony ive put myself through trying to grasp the thought that we don't need eachother to be happy? I held it together, though I was dead inside, no one had a clue. 4 months later, when i found out you were in the hospital, i cried and panicked. I paced for hours trying to convince myself that it was all a dream. I want to take it back, you taught me to love. You showed me what love was. You made me feel like i was the only girl on the earth. You showed me there's more to life, that everyone has a chance at happieness. That I create my own happieness. That life was worth living. That we were fighters. Thats when i lost it. Thats when i realized im stuck in a relationship that was basically an excuse and coverup of my emotions. The last couple of weeks, my breathes have been shallow, my heart is mangled and my brain is an active war zone. The day you almost died snapped me into reality. I am stuck and dont know what to do or say. Everyone thinks I'm over you. I really thought i convinced myself that i was in fact over you, but im not, I never was. My life is a lie. All I do is think about is you, I try to imagine your voice saying its going to be okay, we'll get through this together. Writing all this out makes me realize, there's no amount of apologies I could give to you my love. Just a reason, and my feelings. I miss your warmth your hugs gave me, it was a different type of warmth. A sense of comfort. Love isnt just an mental attachment, love is a feeling you can't mistake for others
Love can be the best feeling in the world but it can also rip your soul apart. Love can be a feeling of pure happieness and joy but only with you Tanner, i don't want us to be a disant memory or just a dream. How much time does it take to get over a true love? Is it possible to hate someone who was once your love, your smile, your reason to be, your everything? Someone you spent every waking moment with. Someone who you had created the absolute best and worst times of your life? I hate that in your point of view, i just broke so many promises and lied to you. I never lied to you, i never talked bad about you. I still stick up for you. Why do you refuse to say my name? Why do you act like nothing ever happend? Yell at me, scream at me, talk to me please, show me because im still in love with you. I'll always love you. And if it's ment to be, we'll find eachother again like the books say. I will search for you. I will fight til you're back in my damn life. It may take months, fuck, even years. But you are my soulmate... it's the smallest things that make me miss you. Your laugh, Your sleepy voice, the way you get my attention when you want something.. I miss being comforted by you, you've taken my sadness away before... it's just a matter of when it will happen again. I miss the teenage us, I miss the careless nights with you, I miss our crazy camping adventures. I miss just cuddling you. I miss the trust we had. We were strong, just going through really rough times. You are my home, You are my human and I know I'm yours too. Just let me in... I'd rather be dead or alone than without you forever. I was so desperate to get over you, I didn't know how to do it, I fucked up. I jumped into a relationship, it was sort of fun at first I guess. But, now its gone to far. I cant get out of this relationship without bloodshed and tears. He lives with me and my family now. My parents love him, are like best friends with him. Theyre closer to him then me and him are. Literally. I havent slept in my own bed in weeks. God, i dont even remember the last time i kissed him or even look at his face. I cry alone at night just wishing he was you. Nobody compares to you. I'm drowning and no one knows. I don't feel comfortable at home anymore. Do you know how hard it is to avoid someone without having anyone notice? I hate how I can't even say your name without ridicule. It wasn't all dark times. I loved you before I knew how to love myself which is probably why I'm so torn. I didn't know what real love was until I met you. You taught me to be myself, you showed me what good feelings were. I loved you before drugs, before we altered our brains, I fell in love with the real you, and you brought me to life. You stuck up for me, loved me at my worst, you delt with my moods wings and emotional breakdowns. I'm not saying I just love you for the good times but for all of it. Bad and good. We fucked up and did some pretty horrible things to eachother.. but at the end of the night, we were in eachother's arms whispering "I love you, forevers and evers baby" "you promise?" "I promise baby" ...what we had was real, and it's only a matter of time. I will wait for you for the rest of my life. Please look past everything that happened between us and remember how you felt with me, how you talked to me, how you love..(d?) me. Remember us. Remember our loyalty and trust for one another. Let go of the past and tell me you feel the same way like I know you do. Look past incidents and reflect on us just through emotions. Don't feel with your words or memories. How you feel when youre in my arms is all that matters, does your heart race? Do your ears get hot or do you get crazy goosebumps? Is your body like magnets or your insides like putty? Or is there nothing? I need to know.
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hannahindie · 7 years
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Hannah & Manda’s 200 Follower “Punk’s Not Dead” Creative Challenge
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Hey everyone! It’s me, Hannah! And over there is my lovely Manda! We both are excited and very thankful to announce that we have both hit 200 followers. We were so excited that we decided to have a special challenge to celebrate!
The name of the challenge is “Punk’s Not Dead”. Why’s that, you ask? Because Manda and I both grew up with and love 2000s pop punk, and it’s one of the great things that we have in common! We decided to pick out some of our favorite lyrics to inspire you all to create amazing things. The rules are listed below! We hope that you are excited to join us and we can’t wait to see all the awesome things you all come up with!
WHAT IS THIS?
This is a Creative Challenge! We know there are so many creative people with amazing talents in the SPN fandom and we want to give you a chance to share yours! Anyone is welcome to participate!
Do you write fanfiction? Awesome, write your heart out!
Are you an incredible aesthetic designer? Yes, please!
Is art more your thing? Fantastic - make all the things.
Love making compilation videos? We have a great list of songs you can use for inspiration/background!
Got another totally awesome talent that you want to utilize to participate? Sweet, we can’t wait to ohh and ahh over it!
THE RULES:
Following both of us is NOT required but would be appreciated! Pick a prompt from the list below (you can click the song title to hear the song if you are unfamiliar)
Send an ask to either Hannah (@hannahindie) or Manda (@pinknerdpanda) with the number of the prompt that you would like and if you will be creating a fic, aesthetic, art, video or whatever your clever little selves would like to do! (messages and reblogs won’t count so we can keep track of them easily)
Any pairing except NO WINCEST please! :)
SPN only
Any Genre, length, format (Fic writers - just be sure to use a “Keep Reading” break if your fic will be more than 500 words)
The lyrics you choose should inspire your work in some way. If you choose to use the lyrics in what you do, be sure to bold them and give credit to the artists
Be sure to tag both @hannahindie and @pinknerdpanda in your work
Use the tag #HanPan Punk’s Not Dead Challenge
Entries are Due June 5, 2017 (If you need more time or need to back out for some reason - that’s fine, just let one of us know!)
THE LIST OF PROMPTS:
“When I was younger/I saw my daddy cry/And curse at the wind/He broke his own heart/And I watched/As he tried to reassemble it” - The Only Exception by Paramore
“The faster we're falling/We're stopping and stalling/We're running in circles again/Just as things were looking up/You said it wasn't good enough/But still we're trying one more time” -  In Too Deep by Sum 41
“But now this broken soul of a boy/Falls in pieces with no choice/At the sound of her voice/He falls apart/But now this broken soul of a boy/Falls in pieces with no choice/At the sound of her voice/He falls apart, he falls apart, he falls apart” - Sincerely Yours by Hit the Lights
“I'm troublesome, I've fallen/I'm angry at my father/It's me against this world and I don't care.” - The Young and the Hopeless by Good Charlotte
“Simple words we never knew,/The power behind what they put us through,/Now it's all begun,/what it takes to make it real./We're standing on the edge of this,/When our soul is gone,/what will we miss?/We lost what it takes to really, really feel.”  - Save Us by Cartel
“I watched the smoke, as it grew darker and blew up through the roof/I watched the fed, saw them panic, as the fire grew/I saw virginia, get rid of langley, and its secrets too/I held your hand, and sat there knowing, that we'd make it through.” - Watch the World by Box Car Racer
“Is it still me that makes you sweat?/Am I who you think about in bed?/When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?/Well, then think of what you did/And how I hope to God he was worth it/When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin” - Lying is the most fun a girl could have without taking her clothes off by Panic At the Disco
“As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs/And sit alone and wonder/How you're making out/But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere with anyone/Making out.” - Screaming Infidelities by Dashboard Confessional
“And the record won't stop skipping/And the lies just won't stop slipping/And besides my reputation's on the line/We can fake it for the airwaves/Force our smiles, baby, half dead/From comparing myself to everyone else around me” - I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)  by Fall Out Boy
“Wait, they don't love you like I love you/ Made off/Don't stray/My kind's your kind/I'll stay the same” - Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
“Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say./I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way./For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,/Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?” - I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance
“I remember the look in your eyes/When I told you that this was goodbye/You were begging me not tonight/Not here, not now” - Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard
“Your sins into me/Oh, my beautiful one/Your sins into me/As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer/And I'll beg for forgiveness/(Your sins into me) Your sins into me/Oh, my beautiful one” - Silver and Cold by AFI
“Laying in the summer grass, you told me not to talk so fast,/As I told you how I feel,/You made me feel right at home,/You told me I was not alone and you knew just how I feel,” - Seasons by Good Charlotte
“life is/only/as good as the memories we make/and i'm taking back what belongs to me/polaroids of classrooms unattended/these relics of remembrance/are just like shipwrecks/only theyre gone faster/than the smell after it rains” - So Long, Astoria by The Ataris
“Back then it meant so much to have you by my side,/I always had your back and you always had mine,” - Let Me Go by Good Charlotte
“feel your fire,/when it’s cold in my heart/and things sorta start/remindin' me of my last night with you/i only need one more day/just one more chance to say/i wish that i had gone up with you too/and i'm sure the view from heaven/beats the hell out of mine here/and if we all believe in heaven/maybe we'll make it through one more year/down here” - View From Heaven by Yellowcard
“I don't care about a thing today /I used to but I'm fed up/And I can hear the words you say/I wish that you would shut up” - Festival Song by Good Charlotte
“Light breaks underneath a heavy door/And I try to keep myself awake/Fall all around us on our hotel floor/And you think that you've made a mistake/And there's a pain in my stomach from another sleepless binge/And I struggled to get myself up again” - Globes and Maps by Something Corporate
“you see, it's never bad enough /to just leave or give up/but, it’s never good enough to feel right” - This Photograph is Proof (I know You Know) by Taking Back Sunday
“Days swiftly come and go./I'm dreaming of her/She's seeing other guys/Emotions they stir/The sun is gone./The nights are long/And I am left while the tears fall.” - Swing, Swing by All American Rejects
“And when it all goes to hell, /will you be able to tell me sorry with a straight face.” - The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes - by Fall Out Boy
“But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight/And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight/For the first time in a long time I can say/That I want to try to get better and/Overcome each moment/In my own way.” - Even If It Kills Me by Motion City Soundtrack
“Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet/Wishing to be the friction in your jeans/Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him?/I'm just a notch in your bedpost/But you're just a line in a song” - Sugar We’re Goin Down by Fall Out Boy
“I'm gonna tear your ass up like we just got married/And you're all mine now/Tonight is the night we've been waiting for all our lives/Or maybe for just tonight” - Bedroom Talk by The Starting Line
“I tried to be perfect/It just wasn’t worth it/Nothing could ever be so wrong/It’s hard to believe me/It never gets easy/I guess I knew that all along” - Pieces by Sum 41
“And the mindless comfort grows/When I'm alone with my 'great' plans/And this is what she says gets her through it/"If I don't let myself be happy now, then when?/If not now, when?" - For Me This Is Heaven by Jimmy Eat World
“I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have/the days have come and gone/our lives went by so fast” - There Is by Box Car Racer
“Forgive me, I'm trying to find/My calling, I'm calling at night/I don't mean to be a bother,/But have you seen this girl?/She's been running through my dreams/And it's driving me crazy, it seems/I'm going to ask her to marry me” - Remembering Sunday by All Time Low
“Are you gonna live your life standing in the back looking around?/Are you gonna waste your time?/Gotta make a move or you'll miss out.” - A Praise Chorus by Jimmy Eat World
“I just can't look, it's killing me/And taking control/Jealousy, turning saints into the sea/Swimming through sick lullabies/Choking on your alibis/But it's just the price I pay/Destiny is calling me/Open up my eager eyes/'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside” - Mr. Brightside by The Killers
“Hey, you know they're all the same./You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in./Live right now, just be yourself./It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.” - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World
“The angry boy, a bit too insane/Icing over a secret pain/You know you don't belong/You're the first to fight, you're way to loud/You're the flash of light on a burial shroud/I know something's wrong/Well everyone I know has got a reason to say/Put the past away” - Jumper by Bedlight For Blue Eyes version
“Since the day I met you/And after all we've been through/I'm still a dick/I’m addicted to you” - Addicted by Simple Plan
“I got a couple addictions/But I swear that I'm coming clean/I got a new way of thinking/Yeah, you're bringing out the best in me” - Chemicals Collide by Boys Like Girls
“I can't remember the time or place,/or what you were wearing,/it's unclear about how we met,/ all I know it was the best conversation that I've ever had,/to this day I never found someone,/with eyes as wide as yours” - The Story So Far by New Found Glory
“What if I wanted to fight/Beg for the rest of my life/What would you do?/You say you wanted more/What are you waiting for?/I'm not running from you” - The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars
“Your eyes were covered in sunglasses /When they first met mine/I sat there and stared at you /You didn't seem to mind” - I Don’t Wanna Know by New Found Glory
“We drive tonight,/and you are by my side./We're talking about our lives,/like we've known each other forever./the time flies by,/with the sound of your voice./its close to paradise,/with the end surely near./and if i could only stop the car/and hold onto you,/and never let go (and never let go)/i'll never let go (i'll never let go)/as we round the corner/to your house/you turned to me and said,/"i'll be going through withdrawal of you/for this one night we have spent."/and, i want to/speak these words/but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,/and accept "someday, somehow"/as the words that we'll hang from.” - Tiger Lily by Matchbook Romance
“Think i'm dying without you here/so i drink myself to sleep/and then i hide beneath the sheet/and i try to disappear” - Dumb Reminders by No Use for a Name
“First my car broke down/So then I had to hitch a ride/I was almost there/When the motor died” - My Life Story by MxPx
“Now here I sit, so far away./Remembering all our memories./It's times like these that I miss you most,/Remembering when we were so close.” - Jaded (These Years) by Mest
“Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you./Looking as innocent as possible to get to who,/They want and what they like, it's easy if you do it right./Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!” - Misery Business by Paramore
“We're traveled like gypsies/Only with worse luck and far less gold/The kids you used to love/But then we grew old/We're the lifers here til the bitter end/Condemned from the start/Ashamed of the way/The songs and the words own the beating of our hearts” - Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year by Fall Out Boy
“She/She's figured out /All her doubts were someone else's point of view/Waking up this time to smash the silence with the brick of self control/Are you locked up in a world that's been planned out for you?/Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?/Scream at me until my ears bleed/I'm taking heed just for you” - She by Green Day
Forever Tags: @@trexrambling @wheresthekillswitch
@pinknerdpanda  @hiimaprofessionalfangirl  @emptywithout @escabell @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes  @deanssweetheart23 @dean-winchesters-baby @aubreyreadsstuff
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Lamoure North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58458
"Lamoure North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58458
Lamoure North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58458
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Lamoure North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58458
Lamoure North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58458
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Lamoure North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58458
Lamoure North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58458
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i own a chevy beat 1.2 LT and need to know the right comparision of d best insurance company policy.pls reply asap.
How ill this effect my car insurance quote?
there is a question on an money supermarket asking if i have access to any other vehicles. my answer would be company vehicle, excluding social how would this effect my insurance quote? also how would company vehicle, including social effect my qoute? Thanks""
What is the process of renting a car through your insurance?
Im calling about it tomorrow but I just dont want to sound completely clueless. So how does the process go for this? Does the insurance just tell you where to go and when to pick up the car and you just go get it or is there more??? This is assuming insurance pays for it completely.
Cheapest car insurance for new drivers?
Co-op seem to be the cheapest i can find at the moment, i am going on my dads name because we are both going to drive it and he has like 11 year no claims, so far co-op seem the best (coop seem to go by the age of the car) the older the cheaper, im looking to insure either a fiesta a clio or a corsa, something like that, could you from experience or just knowledge tell me which insurance is the cheapest, by the way im 17""
I need a good car insurance company I have 6 points and a chapter 7 in my credit report?
I have two cars one needs full coverage $500.00.00 deduc.at list, the car is a 2002 ford explorer and the other one is a 1992 dodge spirit /liability only. If you know about an insurance company that gives good coverage for a decent price let me know my current policy is $166.20 a month.""
""If i have full coverage for car insurance that covers theft, how much should i get?""
esurance if it helps, do i get what i paid for the car when it was new or the bluebook value""
Medical Health Insurance Florida: Family Plans?
I am looking for affordable medical health insurance plans for my family. We live in Florida.
Do i still have to pay excess on my car insurance?
can someone please tell me if I still have to pay my excess after a claim on my car insurance, it was my fault and alot of damage was done to the 3rd party car, i never got mine fixed...the thing thats confusing me if is my insurance is up for renewal next month but my current insurance is quoted over 1000 I have found it a lot less elsewhere so if course im leaving my insurance, but will I receive a letter stating i owe them the excess, as I paid nothing at the time of the claim?""
How much does Car Insurance for a teenager cost?
How much is car insurance for a 15 ( starting drivers ed) year old girl if you are only a part time driver, like if you dont own a car you just use your parent' car in Illinois? Like how much is added on to your parents insurance bill? and how much does it cost if you have your own car?""
What is the best dental insurance company to get for a low income individual?
I'm getting by on a min wage, part time job....However, we really need dental care. Does anybody know of a good company to look into?""
Motorcycle Insurance in Ontario help?
Hello, I am a 20 year old female looking for motorcycle insurance for a Honda CBR 250r with an M2. I have never owned a bike before and have a clean driving record. Like most people my age it is nearly impossible to get insurance that is affordable if you are under the age of 25. If anyone knows of an insurance company/brokerage that would give a quote below 2.5k a year please give me any way I can contact them. I live in the Ottawa area if that is any help as well.""
What is the best car on cheap car insuRANCE?
I AM LOOKING FOR A CHEAP INSURANCE I AM 18 JUST PASSED
How much would car insurance for a 16 girl cost?
Im 16 and thinking of getting a 2000 ford explorer and a 2000 jeep cherokee. how much would my insurence cost? and what car is better to get?
Cheap car insurance for teenagers?
I passed my test yesterday, I'm 17 but turn 18 in 3 months. I have my own car and I'm desperate to start driving. I spoke to dozens of companies and the minimum quote I got was 3000 something a year or 288 monthly with ingenie, which I don't earn enough wages for let alone without the cost of petrol. Can anyone recommend cheap insurance companies for new drivers? My mums won't insure me because of my age and told me I need no claims but I don't get how I can get no claims when I no one will even insure me? I'm really upset because I've spent 1100 on learning. Be grateful for any advice!""
How much would a street bike cost to insure?
like a gsxr 1000. Just the price range.
Galo Auto & Home Insurance.com?
need to find a cheaper auto & home insurance before july 09 State Farm is droping home ins.? can you please hellp me?
Questions about insurance?
1. What are some of the important questions to ask before deciding on the amount of life insurance to buy? 2. How can you determine if you are under-insured or over-insured? 3. Is there any benefit to a single student without children, who is living with his or her parent(s), who is still going to college, having life insurance? Why or why not?""
Buying a new car..insurance help?
So need some help.ive bought a brand new car which is coming on the way from suppliers so will take a few weeks.so i have a car im trading which ive never done before so im unsure wot to do about insurance as the insurance on my current car expires 13th feb and the garage will nd a cover note of new insurance to tax car..and as i dont know the reg plate yet.same for tax of car what do i do when renewal letter comes through(renewal date 31st jan)as hopefully will hv car by then.
2012 mustang gt vs 2009 bmw 335i coupe for insurance and reliability?
im am wondering what would be cheaper on insurance but most off all what would be the most reliable please no bias, although i am a ford fan boy you cant argue with a bmw but i hear they arnt to reliable being twin turbo v6, and also because if they arnt reliable i dont want to be stuck with expensive a## parts to buy... im 19 with a clean driving record""
Driving Lessons+ Insurance+Car?
when i turn 17 i get about 4,200 . now im wanting to spend that money on something improtant, to me thats a car, lessons and insurance. will i have enough to do this? say i pass etc how much will the insurance cost & the lessons""
Motorbike Insurance Help!!! Please!!?
Im 16 and live in Ireland and have a provisional A1 license and im getting a road legal motorbike soon. I rang up quinn direct yesterday and got an insurance price for a 1999 Honda Rebel 125, Fully Comp. Bikes worth 1500. they quoted me 1685.70 and got the same quote from AON and there quote was 2575.. could anybody please tell me how much dearer it would be to get insured on lets say a honda cbr125 or aprilia rs125?? or maybe a honda nsr 125? i know the insurance will go up quite dramatically but would anyone have a rough estimate??""
Health insurance for a minor...?
I moving to California and on my own and I am 17, turning 18 in about 2 months, and I was wondering how much health insurance would cost me? and what would it cover?""
Range Rover Insurance?
I know that insurance depend on a lot of factors however I'm just looking for a round about estimate for a 24 year old female with a clean driving record on a 2003 a range rover?
""Hi, I'm 20 and 6 weeks pregnant. Insurance problems?""
Medi-cal won't let me file an app b/c I'm not 21, And my mother doesn't qualify for me. I make 900 a month with car payments ins. Anyway I don't have money to buy insurance. Planned Parenthood told me my edd, and gave me the positive test. I haven't seen a doctor, and I don't know what to do? I live in CA are there any suggestions?""
What car has the cheapest insurance for a first time driver?
i have looked at a few cars and atm i think a corsa 1.0 is one of the cheapest i know that i will need to get a 1.0 but does any1 know any other 1.0 litre cars that are decent so i can compare??
Lamoure North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58458
Lamoure North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58458
How can I show proof of my insurance to get car tax?
Hi I need to go and get my car tax tomorrow but I dont have my insurance certificate yet becuase it akes 5 working days is there anyother types of proof I can bring to get my car tax?
CBR600F4i motorcycle insurance... $360/month?
Huh.. i just did an online quote with progressive insurance and the dang thing says $360/month for coverage. is this normal. I'm 35 years old, yes, a beginner, but is a 600cc bike gonna be that expensive for insurance?""
Why you would be better off buying a 20 year term life insurance policy at age 25......?
Why you would be better off buying a 20 year term life insurance policy at age 25 rather that buying a one-year renewable policy?
Insurance on a '98 Mustang?
16yr old girl in Ohio, just wondering the cost before i try and sell the idea to my dad lol. Yellow w/ body kit. Help? :)""
My parents just lost there health insurance. ?
My dad retired from the city of Stockton after 36 years. Due to our city filing bankruptcy all retirees now have to pay for there health insurance(1200 dollars a month for my parents). This is just not affordable for then so they lost there insurance. My mom takes enbrel for her medical condition. How can I get her that medication at an affordable price? I have been looking but can't find any help. My parents are 60 years old.
Should i sell my car and purchase a bike?
My situation is i currently own a car but as usual it just seems to be sucking up all my income. I'm currently a student but i work part time aswel with quite a good income. I need some sort of transport as 2-3 times a week i finish work really early in the morning when public transport is unavailable, work is about 25km away so its not a huge distance. The market value of my car is $8500AUD at the moment which would be more than enough to get a bike and appropriate gear plus rego but would it be any cheaper? On my car i spend $60 on petrol each week plus maintenance costs for the past year have been around $870 including rego and insurance it costs me around $5500 to maintain it each year, would a bike be any cheaper? and is it wort the trade off im spending around 1/4 of my incoming on this car which could be going to more important things.""
What is the average cost of Health Insurance adult woman who is a Registered Nurse per month?
Health Insurance for a healthy, non-smoker, fit woman???????""
Which company offers good whole life insurance?
I am sick of term life insurance and the company I am with now is abysmal. I would appreciate any help. I have a wife and two daughters, it's about them, not me....""
What is the cheapest n nastiest car insurance I can possibly take out?
I'm 26, just got my license, have 0 years no claims bonus... What is the cheapest car insurance I can get? I don't care if they cover me for hardly anything... Also will they insure me on a Toyato Celica 1.8 VVTI 3DR 2000 I want the cheapest of the cheap guys!! Suggestions??""
Why is Geico Home Owner's Insurance So Much More Expensive Than other Companies?
I have had my home owner's insurance through Liberty Mutual and I pay $865.00 per year for about 110,000 in dwelling coverage plus other coverages as well. However, I just decided as I wasn't doing anything today to check on the competition and I called up Geico. Get this.. Here it is... Geico, for the EXACT SAME COVERAGE I am paying Liberty Mutual $865.00 per year gave me a quote for $4,200.00 per year. WITH ALL COVERAGES BEING EQUAL. I was shocked... The lady told me because I had one claim for roof damage which cost $4,000.00 that justified the increase in coverage. Plus Geico had a higher deductible of $1,500.00. First I don't know anyone paying $4,000.00 for a one year home owner's policy for $110,000.00 in coverage. But does anyone know why Geico is so ridiculously expensive?""
""Car insurance help, for new driver!?""
I passed my driving test 3 months ago and am looking for insurance to drive my parents car, however every company i have tried is way too expensive (one quoted 11000?!?!) anyway, does anyone know of any UK insurance companies that do good deals for new drivers?? please help, i am so desperate to drive! thanks :)""
What is The Age Limit To Use My Medical Insurance?
Hi I'm 20 years old and i want to know what is the age limit medical insurance covers? I hardly use it and now that i need it to have an eye check, I don't know if it will cover me... I reside in California. Thank You!""
""How much would a car payment and insurance be a month for a $40,000 car?""
im turning 16 so ins. would be more. Thanks
What are the fines and penalties of driving without a license or insurance in California?
Under 18 with permit only. Also loud music. Was only driven in parking lot when pulled over. Car in another persons name. Are there any fines or penalties for car owner?
""How much is car insurance? For example geico, progressive, the general, all state, 21 century, state farm etc.?""
Right now I'm still on my permit. Wen I get a liciense, I want to figure out how much it cost. For a 20 year old 21""
Maternity insurance in ohio?
can someone share some information, i live in Marblehead, Ohio, i am looking for insurance with maternity raider. Or if there any other information about any other way to save some money here in ohio other then buying the insurance. (we are not eligible for medicare and she is not pregnant yet).""
What is the best car insurance for teenagers who got their first car?
It's an older model car and I'm 19. One of my friends pay I have a friend who has state farm and pays 100 a month. Also believe it or not I have another friend who got insurance under her parents insurance company and she got a discount for it.. She is under Progressive and pay 50 dollars a month. I'm a male and I can only dream of my insurance being $50. That isn't going to happen.
Effects of Multiple Sclerosis on car insurance?
A friend of mine was diagnosed with relapsing remitting MS just over a year ago. She had several bad relapses one after another but was then put on tysabri and has been getting better and better since then. She now feels ready to start driving again but is worried her insurance will be through the roof. She is in good health now and because of the tysabri is not likely to have a relapse again for at least a couple of years. Does anyone have any experience of trying to get car insurance if you have MS?
How much can i expect to pay for storage insurance?
I plan on getting a street bike, and sitting my truck. I pay 1400 dollars a year for full coverage right now.""
""If minors can't sign contracts, why can they get their own car insurance?""
If minors can't legally sign contracts, then why can we get our own insurance policies? The policies are way higher in price, but in Virginia, where I live, you can legally have your own insurance policy and insurance, separate from your parents. They don't have to sign anything, they don't even have to know that you have the policy. Statefarm, Progressive, Allstate, all of them do it.""
Anyone know of any affordable dental insurance? ?
i work full time, and want to have some dental work done, i was looking online, not having any luck.""
What is better - socialized medicine or affordable health insurance?
What is better - socialized medicine or affordable health insurance?
What is the best and cheap health insurance?
I came form a different country so i dont have any insurance when i came to california. What is the best that i dont have to pay anything when emergency and cheap like $30 per month.
What's the average price of a Doctor's visit without health insurance?
My eyes are yellow.
Car insurance rates for a 2008 ford crown victoria?
was gonna look at one
Lamoure North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58458
Lamoure North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58458
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-cancel-insurance-quote-me-happy-riley-mcclain/"
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i did not need his negativity yesterday nor did i have the mental strength to not be affected by it. 
he seems to have a rose colored view on his past friends who have lived even more passively than i have while doing hard drugs, drinking and having sex with so many partners that diseases are spread among them. but yet i’m told i’m just a welfare case, that i should just get over it, try harder etc. but there is never ever an admission that perhaps the troubles ive had in life directly relate to the struggles i still have now. 
“well her mother was crazy so she had to leave at 15 and take care of herself”
??? my mother was crazy and my father was sick and i had to take care of myself and him. without giving into the temptation of an easy escape through literal hallucinations. i am better than everyone who did give into the temptation. my will is stronger. sorry. that might bother him because he is a drug user. and he wans to convince me that my weed smoking is comparable to people shooting drugs. and it simply is not in any way. i am a functioning member of society in so much that i do not have a drug den, i do not have needles around, i do not have any long term physial effects of drug use im just a fucking stoner. just like people who HAVE to buy starbucks everyday. theyre just basic bitches. theyre not coffee addicts. and he trappe the conversation - all addicts say this. but i am making a choice and it would be incredibly easy for me to make other choices if i felt they were worth it in my depression. i am ADDICTED to DEPRESSION. i do not control that addiction and it is harmful to people around me and myself.
me smoking a joint is not. me smoking a joint is only beneifical to not only myself but the people around me. i am alive today right now because i smoke weed. THAT is how i am “strong”. 
it didnt matter though. i was already spiraling and wanted to go home but knew i couldnt because it was cold and almost midnight and i didnt even have proper boots and the weight of my entire life and being began crushing me. 
these are panic attacks. these are not attacks which can be seen as the typical display of it but not everyone will hyperventilate into a paper bag. my parents called it an asthma attack because i wasnt breathing right. i wasnt allowed to act out. if i acted out my mother attacked me in such severe ways that i trained myself not to react to anything. but you cant do hthis you cant just be a robot forever your emotions will operate whether you acknowlege them or not.
so it builds. and during the build up which always happens the same way my thoughts are spiraling. if someone latches on to a brief idea of the issues im battling inside, it now solidified the thought and i start to panic. it wasnt being called a drug addict. it was the fact that im constantly put on the bottom of the list for like existing human beings. no one ever goes, ‘well you had to take care of your father’. i dont get that. why? am i not blonde and cute enough? did i not suck enough dick? should i have done drugs and been more pathetic? why is it that everyone else gets a ‘well this and this happened tot hem so is understandable’. for me it’s literally well you cant focus on your past you just gotta move on. it’s not fair, it’s frustrating and when it comes from the only person even giving you any sort of love at that moment in time, it feels trapping. deal with this or have nothing. 
i cannot explain this though. it starts here and by the time i’ve freaked out so hard i cant even communicate the intricacies of these thoughts. i’m now totally overwhelmed and i want to scratch out my eyes and tear out my hair and i’m sobbing so hard i cannot breathe. 
i told him he outright had to help me because he did not listen to my warnings that what he was saying was bothering me. because i told him i didn need that negativity right now and i didn’t nee him focusing on being a  “drug addict” because i dont spend my rent money on shooting drugs. i dontand thats not part of my problem. it’s just a matter of opinion regarding marijuana. period. my opinion differs greatly and i advocate for the VERY PROVEN medical benefits of it. not just “its been shown K helps depression”. so does lsd. so did lsd. so much so that people dosed other people unknowingly to try and “help” them becuase they thought lsd “helped them” and “opened their mind”. but shold you do LSD everyday? no. i really dont think you should. can you ingest something that has minimal effects on a normally healthy person with no pre desposition to mental health issues everday? yes. cancer patients smoke weed because of its legitimate medical benefits. they should not be k-holing. thats not the appropriate way to deal with cancer. nor does it help any of the issues of cancer except moderate pain relief and slight alleviaton of mental pain if you dont put yourself into a k-hole. 
i can smoke 4 grams of weed and not die. i can smoke 4 grams of weed everyday for the next week and have no side effects except not even getting stoned anymore. i wont have to go to the hospital for “exhaustion”. i wont have spent my time at clubs or raves. i probably spent a lot of money on food. i will have no track marks or prolems with my nasal cavity and depending on how i smoke the weed, if i vape it - i may not even have lung problems. and in those days of smoking 4 grams i will STILL DO PRODUCTIVE ACTIVITIES and not just lay around wondering when i’ll get high again. 
so to put me with heroin users is wrong and a surprisingly antiquated view. but i cannot explain all of this and maybe he’ll still disagree but now i’m just in a position where a person who is supposd to love me is telling me im as bad as a heroin addict. i am not and that is not an excuse to not change - i can still change my habits but you have no idea what i wold be for someone like me to do that. he made an “effort” to help but he doesnt have the tools in him to actually help. he told me to think of skating because he wanted to take me skating. 
this morning as i was dropped off he asked if we were going skating. i said i guess and he said no more “i guess” i had to make a solid decision for what iiii wanted to do. and i guess i appreciate that - acknowledging that his personality is not okay for someone like me in the state i am in. i explained to him that our mutual friend came to my place and spoke to the roommate for me and was very like... it was as good as having a medical therapist come and advocate on my behalf. it wasnt like a “you shouldnt do this this is bad” it was “the person you live with suffers from very serious mental issues which affects her daily life and there are reasons as to why she is avoiding confrontation or choosing to live with things that others consider unreasonable” and it was really very good. like not only did i feel like it helped bridge a gap but that someone legitimately felt like they wanted to advocate for me. i didnt ask her to do it. i just explained this is my life and she was like no this is not okay and you need assistance to overcome this hurdle so you can continue on to the next one. i really really appreciate that. no one advocates for me. 
i also made a doctors appt next week and that kind of alleviates some of he pressure i feel about dealing. i know i can now go talk to this person. and if i need to, i have a drive really to see him more often. our mutual friend also came in and casually asked for my razors. and that is something i also appreciate. i made avery large step by freely admitting a relapse. it wasnt like omg cry for help it was this is what occurred. period no discussion because you are not the person trained to deal with such maters of the psyche however as a human being you can acknowledge a crisis and offer assistance to he best of your own abilities. if you have the ability to say ‘hey do you mind if i take your razors with me to get them out of the house’ that is perfectly fine and good and helpful. 
he does not know i relapsed. he has continually said he has no judgement on what i choose to do but does not support it and will only ever advocate for stopping outright. which is totally fair but it compounds the severity. 
hes still trying though? last night he took time to have a moment of private affection and when i tol him about the door knob lock situation he immediately said he would buy one and just let him know. he then said we would “drink sake” tomorrow and added on the skating activity and these things were nice because there is rarely time put aside for just me in the “us”. i follow what he wants to do when he wants to do. i rarely ever ask to go somewhere and when i do i may be able to go but ill have to put up with mock fighting about it. but its not terrible. its not like im dragged to bars or baseball games. he decides we will go hiking and we do. we’ll go to this random thing an hour away and look at i and we do. and i get to exprience sooooo many things i would have never otherwise experienced if i was not with him. and this is why i remain with him. no one else has ever shown me this much of the actual world beyond the bubble i was trapped in. my ex did a decent job but we rarely did anything. like any activities at all. it would be a big deal to take a walk in the woods by our house. 
i’ve gotten to canoe and climb beautiful ontario landscapes. i’ve gotten to eat food from all over the world. ive been given nothing but useful or beautiful and sentimental and meaningful gifts. i have never been given something frivolous ust for the sake of gifts. i’ve been given flowers on more than one occasion. 
it’s really hard to come up with a complaint when i still get to do these wonderful things? like how can i be upset about hiking different parks? i think i’d want to do that anyways. so it’s nice i guess to have it acknowledged this morning that i had the freedom to choose. we did not have to skate and i didnt have to do it because he offered. 
i kind of wanted to though. i think he knew also last night’s dinner with his family friends was just super awkward for me and woul be for literally anyone not related to them. it’s amazing how well they can make someone feel like an outsider while simultaneously telling them they’re “apart of the family”. that wasnt really his fault though. or maybe it s. i dont know. those people sucked and it took forever to eat and i did not even say goodbye to them because literally two sentences were said to me during the night which were, “so you do work in x city or do you commute to another?” and “are you flying out to see him when hes living out west?”  both of which are questions that should never be asked. just period. i mean theyre reasonable questions but to ask them to me results in really awkward answers. like “~ im an artist.” to which she asked, “where” - bitch everywhere. i am a fucking artist of life. and of course its not within my parameters to explain - well you know i’m fucking pretty mentally ill so i’m generally unemployed and collect social assistance hbu. its not like i can outright lie either as the two people who do know my life are sitting there too. and its shitty in some ways that these eople are close tot hem and i am at their house everyday and never once has it been explained that this is in fact his girlfriend, this is what she does and why she is the way she is etc. lie most people would get a “this is ashley, she works at shoppers drug mart and shes a great mom”. but since i have none of this i am nothing to them 
i am also very open about my struggles and where i came from in most situations. this is going to define my interaction with you and you should know that i’m aware of it an am working on it everyday. i am a very self aware empathetic person and i know that becaue of my unusual life i may cause unintentional offense or harm or burden someone in a way that i would not mean to if i understood differently or had a different journey. and everyone has their own journey but it’s a bit like a soldier coming back from war and it’s not on us to judge the severity of harm their journey caused them because we dont know. if theyre so encumbered by the thoughts of death they saw and were apart of it while others are not - we still need to respect the severity ad toll it tok on those individuals. and in no way do they want to be affected by this. theyre not choosing to take it home with them. but it now shapes everything they ever do and being a military person now defines you. it is apart of your definition and character. 
it woul not be appropriate to xplain this to the wasps who think theyre daughter had it rough because she coudnt talk of her prividledge life to stuggling immigrants working to survive while she worked for 2 weeks for extra spending money when she went on her vacation to australia. and it’s ironic of course - i’m now offended by him and i was concerned for offending them; well i was. but then i gave up because i didnt give a shit about them and i didnt think they were actually good members of society. i thought maybe they were “good” fathers or mothers. maybe decent employees. but like a real active good member of society who is bringing a positive vibe to the world? no. i really dont think so. and i have mt people i believe do this. people who i also see really negative traits in as well. theyre not perfect but “good people of society” like working an seeing the whole of society - every part of it as an equal and good thing. maybe theyre bad mothers or fathers though. or maybe not great. i wouldnt say bad. but maybe not great, definitely could be better parents. but they atleast will instill their values, hopefully, into their children who will also be good people of society. i am currently in daily contact with atleast three people who were raised by shitty people of society. people who cared only for heir own exprience and saw everything else as an outside. they now gave that quality to their children. “good mother”. shitty person. 
its up to the people in my support system to advocate for me. honestly. 
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