#its 1 am which means thats what i should be doing

[earlyspringtranscendence]

being normal about audiobooks again. prommy. but whyyyyy why why why why why why dont audiobook narrators following in other narrator’s footsteps within the same series (ESPECIALLY FANTASY) just . quickly have a listen to the prev person’s pronunciation of words. i wish it wasnt this hard and yet.

#im listening to crystal awakening and well 1. i looooove learning new stuff about delanos and all the spires #and i love that this is katashi again even tho we technically already associate katashi with a different spire but like thats wrong #and id love to know what the timeline on this is (though if the prologue has anything to do with that i think its a couple years before AA) #but its like. ugh ok listen to nick podehl when narrating aa is narrating from a limited 1st pov so it doesnt matter how he says delanos #i mean it . does but i can ignore it bc corin is from valia so we can just pretend the inconsistency there is on corins part #but you caaaant have a valian character pronounce valia as vah-lia if corin pronounces it vay-lia #&&& like with the whole delanos thing its more of a declension issue so its fine i can pretend to be normal #but like. brother the word is spelled valia it should not be so hard you literally have a 50% success rate #& like. im pretty sure corin mentions valia within the very first chapter of aa1 #(and also in general i dont really care i think i as the audience should get to complain and make demands. bc i love aa) #anyway its whatever i am loving this one a lot #i think sage is such a sweetheart (& emiko but that goes without saying) & hahne (idk how to spell that) #theyre very very interesting & mysterious which we love. & i love the male narrator a lot i love how he makes aldis sound #recently read #starting the year off right by reading both of my fave authors (andrew & china)

[autism-corner]

for being such a sleepy guy i sure dont sleep enough

#waugh guy realizes hes TIRED if he doesnt sleep enough??? WHAAATT #im. so tired. #i am sleeping like. i want to say 7 but it is 6 hours and a lil. which. i do realize is not 'enough'. according to 'doctors'. #the problem is that once i WAKE UP. i cant sleep again. bc im awake. #so then i spend like 4 hours on my silly screens. and then im too tired to function. #but my brain cant accept that were tired and should take a nap bc. its light out. its not even 4pm. we cant nap. #like. 4pm is when napping is allowed. but guess who has work at 5??? heh! this guy =w=b #erm #its not going to be a long day. work will be fine. #but thats also what i thought yesterday and. it was not fine. #sillyposting #its fine tho. i get to do my autism task today probably. #YIPPEEE #i love ordering things!!!! #the unfortunate part is that im getting quite fast at doing it. what took 1+ hour is now taking 35-45 minutes. which means less autism time #>:( #its finee. #i think #probably.

[nomaishuttle]

I'm gonna be so open and honest with you guys right now i fucking rly dont want to go to work tomorrow .

#im violently nauseous rn and ik its judt bc ive been in a straining position and also i ate like 20 slimjins but like km only gonna get 5 #hours of sleep maximum im gonna have a headache im so tired of everything i wanna have a day off but i cant. Its only tuesday and im #already liek Please can we be done please no more this week all done all done #im so fucking sick of working i dont want to have to work for the next 40 years Minimum. i hate everythingbon earth #i dont understand how ppl work fulltime and have a life i only get 2 live At all on weekends #and even then its only 1 day saturday bc sunday is my Doing all my chores and stuff day #so i do all my laundry i tidy up the room Et cetera. i dont udnerstand how people can just do this forever #it genuinely feels like. bc i leave 4 work at 6am. i get home around 5pm. im supposed to go to bed. well technically i should go 2 bed at #9 to get a full 9 hours but look man . that would give me 4 hours a day to be a person #so my bedtime is officially 10 but usually i go to bed at 12 which means i dont get enough sleep which means as soon as i getnoff work the #next day im even less willing to do anything #+ doing anything fun fucking costs money if not the thing itself the travel expenses. and if i spend money i just have to work to make that #money back i fucking hate it. and im doing this for what. so that in 40 years i can retire and then 10 years after that oh no unforeseen #expenses or something suddenly my retirement isnt cutting it i have to go work at fucking walmart or something as a 70 year old judt to #make ends meet. god. And when the fuck am i supposed to have kids i want kids very badly one day but how the fuck am i supposed to have #kids if id only be able to spend Maximum 6 hours a day with them. thats if my work is like Doectly next door. #how. how. how. less than 6 hours even bc theyd go to bed before i did so rly like 3 hours a day with my theoretical kids Im an awful #theoretical parent and maybe my theoretical spouse works less hours so they can be home with the kids but they resent me for always being #at fucking work 9 hours a fucking day and they resent me for not being there for our theoretical kids Im sorry theoretical partner i want #to fucking be there but SOMEBODY has to put money into our theoretical savings account. UGH!!! #i hate work i hate it i hate it #i dont even hate my job i just hate that its my entire fucking life #i hate that i essentially get half a day every week thats truly mine that i get to do whatever i want. and in my current situation i barely #even fucking get that idk.

[feyburner]

This is part of a longer thing I may post on ao3 at some point but here’s some silly little Jaytim texting AU. I use this format as a writing warmup.

[Unknown] »

Hey. This is Jason. 

I have a favor to ask. You can say no.

« tim

uh

1. i’m aware of how favors work  

2. what is it?

« tim

?

« tim

hey are you like. good

J »

Yeah fine 

Sry. Rethinking this maybe

« tim

what, do you need a kidney or something?

i can’t give you a kidney.

i don’t have any organs to spare.

J »

What ? 

« tim

what’s the favor?

J »

I wouldn’t ask if it wasnt important

I’d ask Roy but hes in star city 

or Kori but shes off world

I tried dickhead but hes in haven. Cant get away tonight

« tim

yeah jason i get it lol

J »

So Im currently in the cargo hold of a private yacht

« tim

what >?

J »

We’re caught in the storm thats hitting the city its a whole thing. 

« tim

are you in the cargo hold of your own volition or did someone put you there

J »

So I dont think I can get back t

No its on purpose

« tim

hang on. you’re in gotham bay right now? in a boat?  

jason this storm is really bad.

it’s already sunk a houseboat and a fishing boat at the marina

J »

I dont think I can get back totown toni

Christ you type fast 

Shut up for a sec. Clam down

Clam*

*Calm fuck me

Thought I was gnna be back tonight but bc of storm its not looking great.

Can you feed my sourdough starter 

« tim

what

J »

4511 overhill apt 6D 

Key under the neighbors mat. 6H

« tim

hey to clarify. “its not looking great” ← what does that mean

J »

Starter is on counter. in glass jar 

Should just need one feeindg. Maybe 2. depending 

« tim

on???

J »

On wwhen I get back?

« tim

so you do plan on coming back

J »

Yeah timothy I’m in a boat not the heart of Mount Doom

« tim

yeah? vaders not there? so that means everything’s fine? 

J »

Did you

jst say Vader

As in Darth

« tim

??? 

J »

Oh my god

« tim

jason are you in peril or what.

J »

No im not in “peril” lol.

Did you see the thing I said about my sourddough starter

It needs to be fed

« tim

wtf is a sourdough starter

nvm i googled it

J »

Its a live bacteria colony you use to m 

Oh ok

Yeah so it just needs 50g lukewarm water + 50g flour

Theres a scale next to the jar

Stir until it looks like hummus

Put lid back on

The end

« tim

the internet says if you put it in the fridge it doesn’t need daily feedings

J »

Sure. But that would mess up my bread schedule

« tim

your bread schedule 

J »

Man are gyou gonna fuckin feed Breadie Mercury or should I find someone else

« tim

im already en route. 

J »

Oh

Ok

Thank you.

Wtf dont text and motorbike  

« tim

how about you dont text and Sinking Boat

J »

Hey its not like I’m gonna cause a boat crash

« tim

i was stopped at a red light 😐

anwyay i’m at your place.

1. why do you not have a security system. when you said key under the neighbor’s mat i thought you were joking. 

2. how warm is lukewarm

J »

1. I’m the security system

« tim

just rolled my eyes so hard it actually physically hurt

J »

God youre annoying

2. ? Its lukewarm

« tim

ohhhhh thanks! that’s so helpful :) here i am trying not to murder your incredibly important bacteria colony that i just drove across town for but no thats great jason very descriptive thanks :) 

J »

Like warm but not too wram, nothing you’d want to take a bath in

Can you fucking

I TYPE SLOW.

« tim

ok.

[Image Attached]

he is fed

J »

Thanks man.

Sincerely.

« tim

so hows the cargo hold going

still intact i assume? 

J »

Mostly ya

« tim

pardon? 

J »

Slight leakage. Nothing major

« tim

oh? are you a boatologist now? 

i dont think you’re qualified to judge that?

J »

Moving right past “boatologist” out of the goodness of my heart.

Chill lol. If it was rly bad thered probably be some sort of alar

Hm.

« tim

did an alarm just start going off

J »

Dont worry about it

« tim

im not. 

did it though

also which yacht? im in the marinas scheduling dtabase

blue miracle, serendipity, carp-e diem? which one

« tim

jason?

« tim

if this is a joke it’s not funny

oh cool you’re not on comms either. great.

hey if youre dead again and i just fed your stupid starter for nothing im gonna be soooo mad just fyi

« tim

ugh.

*

J »

Hey

Thanks again for the

I’m not gonna say “save” bc I was doinf just fine on my own.

But thanks for the backup.

Lmk when youre home

Nope sorry lol you dont have to do that.

Night.

« tim

home

J »

Also I just saw your messaages from

Ah. 👍

From earlier. 

« tim

you mean from when you said “huh, this boat seems to be filling with water” and then disappeared? those messages? 

J »

Those were not my exact words.

« tim

right. your exact words contained somehow even less information 

J »

Shut up

I just wanted to 

You know. Youre the only one who jokes about it

The only one in the family I mean

your family, I mean

The bats.

« tim

? 

the only one who jokes about what

J »

Me being dead

« tim

oh. 

ok. well

its not like. actually funny to me. i was just annoyed. sorry i guess

J »

No thats not 

Tim. Shut up.

I dont mind. I like that one of you does. 

Its better than people talking around it. Like its this big shameful thing I did.

One of many

If I mention it in front of dickhead he does the face

the :~{ face

« tim

wow its uncanny

uh. for the record. 

i don’t think that’s the reason people talk around it

if im correct in thinking that by “people” you mean “one specific person whose name rhymes with Rat Can” 

 

J »

Yeah well

I just

Christ never mind. Im sorry. You are not the person to be sayign this to.

Im gonna shut the fuck up I think. 

Goodnight.

« tim

oh what, you can’t talk to me about being dead bc of that one time you tried to kill me? 

and failed btw :/ 

J »

Tim

Not to be so unchill

But you know how me being dead isnt actaully funny to you

« tim

…got it. sorry

J »

No. don’t apologize to me

Ever

I’m serious 

« tim

like for anything? 

what if i killed breadie mercury 

J »

You didnt. He is thriving

« tim

he is?

wait. really?

you can tell?

J »

[Image Attached]

Hes doubled in size since you fed him.

« tim

whoa

J »

Yup. Thanks again for thattoo.

*that too

Its stupid but hes kinda my son.

« tim

wouldn’t he technically be like, 10 billion sons

J »

He is my 10 billion sons.

« tim

lolol

wow. why am i so pleased hes thriving lol 

J »

Right

« tim

jeez

i was so worried about the water temp

google said lukewarm is 98-105 so i did 98 to be safe

J »

You used a thermometer? 

« tim

your instructions were vague!

i didnt want to kill your bacteria colony!

J »

Thanks Tim.

« tim

? you already said that lol

i gotta pass out btw

glad you didnt die: the sequel in a yacht

that would have been so cringe

night jason

J »

Night

*

J »

You up?

« tim

obviously

why

J »

Could use your eyes on something.

[Image Attached]

« tim

morse code but the dots and dashes are reversed and its spelling backwards in russian, ASTITP AYALEB AVD RTSIRP → PRISTR DVA BELAYA PTITSA → PIER TWO WHITE BIRD

J »

Bc it looks like morse but its not, its kind of scrambl 

Ok jesus christ . 

30 seconds? Seriously? Fuck me

Can I hire you? Jesus lol

« tim

that depends. do you pay more than batman?

J »

The fuck? Does he pay you guys now?

« tim

no.

J »

Then yes. I do pay more than batman.

« tim

how much more

J »

One coffee per codebreak? 

« tim

:\

J »

Two coffees per codebreak

Two and a loaf of sourdough

« tim

sourdough from breadie mercury?

J »

Ya

« tim

done

J »

Damn. I feel like you should have higher standards

« tim

i mean i was already gonna do it for free

now i have successfully negotiated coffee & sustenance 

im on a roll. nothing but Ws 

J »

Ws?

« tim

its young people slang you wouldn’t get it ❤️

J »

I am barely 3 years older htan you.

It could be argued, considering certain events, that we’re basically the same age.

« tim

and yet you text like an old, old man

J »

I do not

Would you rather I texted like “idk brb lmao roflcopter”

« tim

ROFLCOPTER?

oh my god. ohhhhhh jason. oh my god

that is absolutely not what the kids are saying these days. oh my god

J »

Ok you know what. At least I know Mount Doom isnt a Star Wars thing

« tim

? 

oh, is it star trek? 

J »

I’m 99% sure youre antagonizing me on purpose

But have you seriously not read or watched Lord of the Rings

« tim

no i have not.

J »

Hm.

« tim

what

J »

Nothing.

« tim

……….what

*

« tim

did you NARC on me

to BRUCE

about LORD OF THE RINGS?????

J »

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

« tim

WHY DO I NOW HAVE 3 SEPARATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON “HOUSE MEETINGS” BLOCKED OFF IN MY CALENDAR, JASON? 

WHY ARE THEY EACH 4 HOURS LONG?

WHY ARE THEY LABELED “CULTURAL EDUCATION (MANDATORY)”? 

J »

I can’t pretend to know what goes on in B’s mind.

That said, I have reason to believe he and Alfred take lotr pretty seriously.

« tim

its a TWELVE HOUR MOVIE

about GOBLINS

J »

I’m not gonna respond to that bc I know youre just lashing out.

« tim

if youve sentenced me to 12 hours of a movie i hate i’m gonna hack everything you own. 

im gonna mass text the entire cape wearers community the footage of that time condiment king kicked your ass so bad he felt guilty and offered to personally help you out of the mustard pool 

J »

What the fuck

How do you fuckig know about ?????? that???????? 

Not that ithahpened 

What hefuckk ??

« tim

ooooooooo you better hope i love these goblins!

J »

Why are you?? evil??

« tim

you should have killed me when you had the chance!!

sorry.

J »

Its ok. That one was pretty funny tbh.

Oh hm shouldnt have laughed just then. Bad timing on my part

Brb

« tim

uh

« tim

ok…….. getting reports of a “disturbance” at pier two…….. 

« tim

sorry were you texting me *mid-standoff* with the russian mafia

« tim

ugh.

*

« tim

you know tracking your location would be so much easier if i didn’t have to hack into your comm sys every time

luckily your encryption is garbage but still. its 2 minutes of my life i wont get back.

J »

Not sure I recall giving you permission to track my location?

« tim

oh i’m sorry. next time i will simply leave you to go down with a texas oil magnate’s incredibly tacky yacht, or get swiss cheesified by mobsters 

J »

Hey I wrapped up the russians myself 

« tim

yeah? 

J »

…

Yeah….

« tim

so you thought the 12-minute universal signal jam was the act of a benevolent god? 

J »

:-|

« tim

im just saying it would be significantly more efficient if you agreed to a tracker

just one little tracker. you wouldn’t even notice it’s there.

think of all the time and energy you’d save me

J »

I feel the need to point out that you don’t have to repeatedly hack my comms system.

« tim

i mean it’s that or monitor sightings on the gocitizen app

i have an algo that texts relevant pings to me, which is super helpful for when i want an inbox full of random people talking about how hot you are. less helpful for literally every other circumstance 

J »

Uh

What

« tim

how hot *red hood is. to clarify

in their opinion

the people’s opinion

J »

?

« tim

the people of gotham city

J »

The people of Gotham city do not think Red Hood is hot lol

« tim

wait 

i cant tell if you’re being serious

J »

Uh? Yeah Im being serious? Lol tf

Why would they think hes hot 

They dont think Batman is hot 

« tim

o…kay…

huh.

how to… hmm

J »

Like nightwing sure

And the girls. Bc of objectification of women

« tim

oh wow

J »

Red Robin. If i had to guess

But when people see Hood its definitely not… that kind of response lol

« tim

what kind of response, exactly

J »

You know like saying “Hey Hood youre hot” 

« tim

oh, wow. 

okay. ummm

hmm. one sec.

J »

?

« tim

check your email 

J »

Ok…? 

J »

Oh my fucking god.

« tim

yeah

J »

Oh my god?

« tim

yeah

J »

This document is fucking 45 pages long?

« tim

its everything from the past 30 days yeah

J »

The past

Whaht the fuck

Ok some of these people definitely got hit by Poison Ivy.

This is . Tim wtf. I havent even heard of some of this stuff. 

« tim

oof are you on page 14

J »

Im on page 3???

« tim

oh my god

J »

What the fuck

Please please tell me its not like this for Batman too

Tim

« tim

its not like this for batman :)

J »

Ok. Jesus. I would genuinely have to move cities.

« tim

its worse :)

J »

Oh what the fuck

Oh my fucking god page 14.

You get this shit TEXTED to you?????

Ohm ygod. You read this?????

« tim

i mean

no

i glance at it

for security purposes.

i dont like, read it read it

anyway did you seriously not know? haha

J »

No??? Again its not like people tell me

« tim

yeah but

like

theres a certain level of objectivity involved, here

yknow

sorry im trying to find a non awkward way to be like “have you looked in a mirror lately” 

« tim

sorry

that was in fact awkward!

nvm

just let me know if you’d be ok with the tracker. its fine if not

i was mostly joking about the hacking

J (From Work) »

No you weren’t.

« tim

no i wasnt

i dont mind though. its like a brain teaser

anyway im going dark for patrol, later

*

J (From Work) »

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

Question. why is the average Gotham citizen a raging horndog 

« tim

oh my god

you know i can tell you searched “red robin hot” right

J (From Work) »

Figured it was only fair

[Screenshot Attached]

This persons got some mad zoom lens skills

I’d think it was you, if it wasnt, yknow, you

« tim

wow. that is certainly a photo of my ass

…a stellar photo of my ass. wow. 

do you have a direct link? i gotta send this to steph

J (From Work) »

goctz.app/user/3824973/post/29348230df3

Haha

I kinda thought you and blondie broke up

back on again?

« tim

no lol we are very much just friends

she has a thing going with someone who shall remain nameless but suffice to say it’s Going

anyway we just send each other gocitizen vigilante ass shots 

its a whole genre

they’re like trading cards

J (From Work) »

Guess everyone’s got a hobby?

« tim

the only rule is no nightwing

J (From Work) »

Do I want to know why

« tim

he accounts for a frankly overwhelming percentage of vigilante ass shots

so its too easy

you’d THINK we’d have a no-batman rule, because ew, but due to the cape and his sixth sense for cameras pointed at him, a qualifying shot is actually extremely rare. 

← only guy who ever managed to take quality photos of batman 

anyway, we put it to a vote. i lost.

J (From Work) »

A vote between you and Steph? 

You lost a 50/50 vote?

« tim

i dont wanna talk about it.

J (From Work) »

Right. 

So what I’m getting from this is you have Red Hood ass shots in your phone.

« tim

no

J (From Work) »

No?

« tim

well

J (From Work) »

Yeah?

« tim

we don’t like, save them

that would be weird

we just notify each other. professionally, as colleagues 

and keep an ongoing points tally

thats all

so i do not currently have photos of your ass in my phone. thank you

J (From Work) »

How many points is my ass worth

« tim

i hate everything about this conversation

J (From Work) »

Its 100% your own fault, answer the question

« tim

if you must know. 

points are awarded based on a series of objective scoring criteria.

J (From Work) »

Uh huh. Like what

« tim

technical excellence

composition. lighting and color balance. 

dynamism 

J (From Work) »

Dynamism…

« tim

creativity

umm

emotional impact

and 

subject matter

J (From Work) »

I see.

« tim

ok i know it sounds bad

J (From Work) »

It sounds fucking hysterical Im near tears 

« tim

but if you think abou

oh

okay, well, great

J (From Work) »

I’ll let you know if I stumble on any more. 

Or is that cheating

« tim

its totally cheating

please do

J (From Work) »

You got it red. 👍

« tim

:)

#jaytim #can’t emphasize enough that this is a silly thing i wrote for Me and My Friends but sharing here as well lol #my writing

[agayconcept]

.

#genuinely actually how am i in a position where i literally have to go stage a sit-in to be allowed to speak to my fucking doctor #thats what i have to do on monday. take a train and 2 buses to go protest-sit in the waiting room bc the nurses at the office r ghosting me #and not passing along any of my messages #why u ask? #well dear reader #that would be because theyre about HRT! and everyone who works there are transphobic pieces of shit!! #who delieberately drag out the process to idk punish me ??? who tf knows #but its been EIGHT YEARS since i had them change my name in the system and everyone except my 1 doctor & 1 receptionist still deadname me #they deliberately call me a woman etc at every chance they get #and when i tried to get referred to another doctors office for hrt bc i knew this would happen?? #they didnt put the referral thru. oh my doctor wrote it. the nurses and other ppl at the office didnt send it. #then when my doctor forced them to they dragged it out so long i had to literally abandon it and get my hrt thru this office bc it had been #ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR. #so ok. now im stuck getting it thru the transphobic office but that should be fine bc the doctor isnt transphobic so as long as i talk to- #OH OK. THEY REFUSE TO PUT MY MESSAGES THRU TO HIM. THEY REFUSE TO LET ME SPEAK TO HIM AT ALL. i can only contact him thru them #which means they can simply. Not tell him that i called. and that way they can deny me what he wants to give me #that they so clearly have a fucking problem with. great. cool. thats just....fucking fabulous #before anyone asks YES this is illegal. YES i am reporting them. but its a process and not an instant one so in the meantime i am literally #just. gonna show up and refuse to leave until i have spoken to my doctor. face to face or on a direct line. #no messages no voicemails no passing it along NO BULLSHIT. i am NOT leaving until it happens #so anyway. who wants to help me crowdfund transit money for my sit-in next week cause i dont have a way to get there but i am GOING #paypal.me/DuckyKeith if u have a few spare bucks to help cover bus fare #help me ruin some transphobes' days #better yet help me ruin some transphobes' WEEK. #because if they dont let me talk to him monday? i'll be back tuesday. and wednesday. gurl im moving iN call the uhaul

[disruptivevoib]

Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.

#chonnys charming chaos compendium #chonny jash #voidthoughts #i know the album is interpretive!! but i also think it is crucial that we dont pin any one of them down as villains or anything #that like while hms are all flawed and cruel to one another they ultimately are also victims of themselves its #its the like culprit and victim motif #the “you're doing this to yourself and you shouldn't feel you have to do that” #internal communication with yourself. learning kindness and humility and whatnot is very important!! #thats all

[hyunjinsbelovedamericano]

Skz when their partner can't sleep

i couldn't sleep when i thought of this so

i can't sleep~

teeth rotting fluff,not proof read yet

Bangchan

He probably wouldn't be able to sleep either,and most of stays sleep schedules are wrecked so he would do a live with you.He would go on Channie's room and do whatever.Comments like"Why aren't you guys asleep?","Go back to bed" would fly through."I don't know what you guys are talking about,its 1 in the afternoon.You know time zones?"but stay know thats its 2 am where you are so your attempt on manipulating them failed

Minho

You guys would rate children's drawings,yk those tiktoks where the teacher rates their students drawings.Thats you guys but you're not teachers."Who is that supposed to be?" "Barney","Then why does it look like grimace if took he meth".You guys would probably receive noise complaints for how loud you'll be laughing,but they would laugh just as loud if they saw these drawings

Changbin

Watch rip-off movies,have you guys seen that video where benoftheweek was watching rip-off movies.Yes.Instead Ratatouille your watching ratatoing,instead of the bee movie you're watching plan b."This animation is giving me nightmares","This is torture".Changbin couldn't stop laughing at the names of the movies,"Who wrote this"he would be in tears

Hyunjin

This one is more wholesome than the previous,i feel like he would read poems to you,even better read HIS poems to you,they would be the cutest things ever😭😭,i think he would also make you some tea,massage your head whilst reading the poems.(I need a fanfic on this NOW),he would have such a soothing voice reading them and then scream in your ear(jk...maybe),he wants you to get your 8 hours even though that might mean that he can't

Han

He would eat midnight snacks with you,even though it's not midnight he'll still have snacks.You would try new foods,"This taste likes bbamba's foot","How do you know how his foot taste like?","..." ,you would go late night shopping at those 24/7 stores,han would be scared if its 3am,"why are you so scared","have you not seen those do not watch at 3am videos?"You would just laugh at him,he's such a child

Felix

As we know Felix,is a tiktok king.He would post tiktoks with you,you would explore so many trends and do almost all of them.You would also have a debate why the tiktoks should go on his account or your account,"I deserve this tiktok","No i do".You would do funny tiktoks,dance tiktoks etc.a lot of them would go in the drafts and you would also have a debate on which you should post,"I look like a rat in this tiktok.","Exactly"

Seungmin

This is also one of the wholesome ones,I feel like he would sing you to sleep.His soft gentle voice singing you melodies AHDSUDGDEIURRH that's too cute 😭,he would try to calm you down make you tired because who doesn't want to sleep.Especially with his vocals the song could be rock and he would somehow make it sound soft,he would sing your favourite songs and if you don't say a skz song he would add one in there

Jeongin

He would do skincare with you,you have a bunch of products so it would be quite time consuming."What does this do?","Something".You would take pictures with face masks on because it's a vibe.You would also go online shopping for more products,"Buy the rose jelly one ","No" he would add it to your cart when your not looking,when it arrives and you ask him about he would pretend not to know anything about it

#hyunjin x reader #stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #lee know x reader #changbin x reader #felix x reader #skz fluff #skz x reader #skz x y/n #han x reader #jeongin x reader #seungmin x reader #stray kids headcanons #stray kids fluff #skz x you

[crystalandbow]

PICK A PILE🤍

CALL OUT EDITION

Pile 1 is beach, pile 2 is garden, pile 3 is swans. Take the reading with a grain of salt and only take what resonates 🤍

If you liked the reading, lmk! & Follow for more

Hello pile 1👋🏻

Or should I say hello my mama bears

lol anyways let's begin!!!

The cards that you got: 2 of swords, ace of coins, the emperor and the ace of cups.

Okie so The 2 of swords really sums it up for y'all, the others cards just confirm it more. like you guys are torn between 2 options/paths/things/ whatever. Making a decision is important because It seems like this has been on your mind for some time and is bugging you ? Taking up all your mental energy/stamina. *like a vampire/jk* most of y'all already know which path you want to choose but for some reason you haven't locked in your answers is what I am feeling. And now it's time to make a decision! It might be that you are afraid for some reason, you have this fear of what if things go wrong or something like that or it might be that you are unable to make a decision because both options seem equally tempting.

I think you can choose any path because they will have decent results. The advice or call-out message is that whatever you chose to do for your situation, stick with it. Its not about the options it's about you! The reason why I called you guys mama bear is because that is how you should deal with your current situation. Chose whichever path you want, fight or flight. But stick with it! Know that what you did was absolutely okay!! You have to embody the emperor's energy (of being bold and authoritative, because it is your life, do not fall for anything that doesn't feel right )

The ace of cups tells me that you guys should make a decision using your heart ( feelings & intuition) because afterall you know what's best for you! follow your intuition/gut feeling, don't be afraid of anything YOU ARE THE EMPEROR & YOU'VE GOT IT !

Keywords: stability, bravery & action. Facing fears/oppositions, gut feeling

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

Hello pile 2 👋🏻

Cards you got: 3 of cups, death, 2 of cups & 9 of cups

I'm getting the word "love potion" for guys, I mean we do have alot of cups *the 2,3 and nine of cups* woah! That's alot of emotions. I'm also getting the word "self acceptance" all the cards are so positive but it doesn't feel that good? Something feels heavy? And a Lil stressful yk? I think the message for you guys is opening up yourself.

Y'all might have the habit of guarding yourself, but many times sometimes you just end up over doing it, leaving you feeling sad? Y'all feel that you are different from others in a sad way and that you have to put up this "fake" self to fit in. You try to be like others / everybody around you in public and this needs to change, atleast your mindset that people won't accept you for who you are. Change is needed! Stop blaming it on other exteranl reasons. Do you even know who you actually are? Do you accept yourself? Do you love/care about yourself? Do you prioritise your needs first? Its not always others, sometimes it's our fault that we let people treat us like that! The two of cups imagery is giving me mirror energy, it looks like there's a mirror between the two peeps and they are actually the same person but also different at the same time like it's just their "other side" yk? How you view yourself, and how you let yourself be you truly. Love your inner child. Death talks about how you need to embrace all your different sides and be yourself, be unique & don't try very hard just to "fit in"

The nine of cups is here for advice and it talks about prioritising your needs first & putting yourself on the pedestal! Whether it be in romantic relationships or platonic or any relationship

Call-out message: DONT BE AFRAID TO BE YOURSELF let yourself be! Accept love, prioritise your emotional needs first!!!

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

Hello pile 3 👋🏻

Cards you got: the strength, justice, devil & the star.

Surprisingly all major arcanas😭I really wanna know what's going on with y'all. Like what MAJOR shit is going on lmao

Anyways here's my interpretation for you guys: you guys are working hard towards some goals of yours. I'm getting the vibes that the world told you what you think or thought once upon time is unrealistic and unachieveable but to you it feels like "inner- calling". you have started working towards it and might have achieved/ overcome certain milestones and mini achievements that you should be proud about and if not then you should know that they hard work that you have put in WILL workout and you will gain the fruits for you dedication. One thing you should possibly avoid is arrogance and / or greed attachments will be different for everybody, basically avoid the temptations of the devil. Don't believe you're at the top of the world and for some it's not getting overly obsessed with results,etc. Everything will workout at the right time. The justice card over here is likely talking about getting your results. Call-out message for y'all could be to choose the path of hard work & patience instead of shortcuts and unfair means. The star card is asking you to stay optimistic regarding your work to know that it will all be worth it, you will get your answers and result just keep working hard and have pure intentions

So yeah basically, just on the right track, keeping working hard, don't fall for temptations like shortcuts, procrastination, unfair means,etc be patient and you will be good to go

Ig thats it, lmk how I did and only take what resonates 🤍 have a good day/evening/night

#pick a picture #pick a pile #pick a card #pac #tarot #free tarot reading #divineguidance #divination #daily tarot #tarot reading #free tarot #tarot community #tarot blog #tarot journal #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarotdaily #intuitive #intuition #tarotoftheday #tarotonline #psychic readers #psychic readings #tarot guidance #love reading #spirituality #pac tarot #tarot pick a card #tarot pac #tarot pick a pile

[etherealkissed88]

I really wanna manifest a new love interest but like I feel not good enough. Like ik im pretty (which I’ll work on more) but I just feel like I’m not enough and that they won’t like me and that I don’t deserve it. Do u have any tips for this?

you feel like your not good enough because you feel lack within. your self concept is low. self concept is your concept of self so how you view yourself, what you assume to be true about you so clearly you dont think highly of yourself. this is why fulfilling yourself is so important. satisfy yourself in imagination! what do you want to experience? being w this sp but more importantly, feeling secure in yourself and knowing you are good enough. give yourself the feeling of being secure. realize you hold the power at every given moment and you can decide you are now that person who knows they are good enough. deciding takes 1 second. great now its done. now that you are this person whos self concept is on 100, you can have fun in imagination and actually experience anything you want (-> gets you into the wish fulfilled if you havent gotten there already thro deciding).

you can imagine whatever you want that implies this confident version of you. i can give you some ideas: you can visualize a scene where you are looking at yourself in the mirror and you are loving what you see (it doesnt matter what you visualize, its the feeling it gives you so whatever scene that gives you self confidence is good). same with other techniques (affirming, scripting, inner convos, etc -> they should give you the feeling. its not the techniques that manifests, the techniques are only changing yourSELF and its SELF that manifests). anyways, when you visualize your scenes or affirm or do whatever, focus on actually satisfying yourself in imagination. what actually makes you feel “good enough”? play around with this and know a confident version of you already exists. your only job is to embody that version and decide thats you now.

someone who has a high self concept is someone who knows they are top tier and they always get what they want, etc. embody this version! from here do whatever you want: techniques or no techniques, you are being this person in imagination. with techniques, you experience what you want for fun while knowing or with the intent of knowing (getting into the state of the wish fulfilled) that its done. with no techniques, you just know/decide its done. your goal is to hold this high concept of self by satisfying yourself aka accepting/assuming it.

once youve felt this confident feeling and you can confidently say: “i know i am good enough” or if you just decided you are good enough, its done. continue being that person in imagination since thats who you are now. if you fall out this state, just get back in when your ready and know you are always perfect ! 🎀

to add: working on self concept means: you are no longer the person who thinks theyre not good enough -> you know ur good enough, (like duh). you are no longer the person who’s sp doesnt like them -> duh they like you because your literally perfect. change those assumptions on yourself. and i make it clear that getting into the state of the wish fulfilled does all that for you.

#ask jani🎀 #law of assumption #loa blog #manifesting #loassumption #neville goddard #edward art #imagination creates reality

[msallurea]

How to Change Self - Edward Art Edition

To change self is to change your "I AM".

1. I think of what I want to be, ANYTHING

2. Then I assume I am that in IMAGINATION ONLY

3. Now I walk in my physical world persisting in the knowing that what my inner man(self) experienced is truth and that I did truly experience that, in its own miraculous way in ways we just cant explain thats so natural almost coincidental it will come to pass

But Ms. Allurea why should we only change ourselves in imagination only?

You change who you are being in imagination because IMAGINATION IS THE ONLY REALITY/CREATES REALITY. Therefore in order to change what you are seeing you must first change who you are being. Since I know that the inner man is self and all I must do is change self to change my reality, I go within and become the one I want to be in imagination knowing that who i am within is truth because i do not identify as this outer body but as the inner man and when i say "I AM" i do not speak of the senses but of my eternal being which is the inner man(the I AM, my true self).

Well Ms. Allurea how do I know that I've changed self?

You will know because you will feel a sense of fulfillment. You see self was already changed the moment you desired it to be changed. But sometimes we tend to forget this, by thinking that we need to do something in order to get what we want. The moment you stop DOING and start BEING is the moment you've changed self. You've shifted your state from trying to get to now already being it. That is the goal, to realize that you aren't getting anything but realizing that you've already had it the second you wanted it.

But Ms. Allurea what about methods? If I affirm does that not mean I'm fulfilled?

Oh no no darling, you can definitely still do methods. But it's a matter of what are you doing those methods for? When you affirm, are you affirming because you enjoy it? Are you affirming because it satisfies your imagination? Are you affirming to remind yourself when you forget it's already taken care of? Or are you affirming to bring something to you/to get something? How about visualizing, are you visualizing because you want to and it makes you feel good or are you visualizing because u think you have to and feel that in order to get what you want you must visualize? The methods are not the issue it's how you use the method that is. This is why you hear ppl say that no matter what method u use maybe every method works, some works or even none because it's entirely based on what you're assuming. Either way, it all depends on how you look at it, and no matter which way you look at it whether you assume using a method makes your desire come quicker or you're doing the method for fun YOU ARE STILL OPERATING OFF WHO YOU ARE BEING. Which is why no matter what you do, do it from a position of changing your I am(self) and experiencing what you want to experience through your real self.

But Ms. Allurea I wanna see my desires in 3d and-

Well then my dear you haven't learned a single thing about loa or manifestation in general. The 3d cannot give you anything let alone fulfill you. Let's say you did have your desire in 3d I'm sure on the first day you're probably squealing with joy..now turn 1 day into 1 year, 9/10 you're not even squealing like before and your just like meh this is normal I have it and that's that onto the next desire. See the desire itself isn't the thing we want at all, but the feeling that comes with it. No matter how big or small it may be, there's always something attached to this idea that makes us want it. Why did you desire what you desired in the first place? Because whatever it was, when thinking about its fulfillment made you feel something that satisfied you and made you feel good. With that being said my friends, you can give yourself all those feelings you want to feel by feeling them now within yourself through experiencing what you Want to experience within imagination. And yet somehow some way, in a way that's so natural and just can't be explained, so much so you would have thought "well it would have happened anyway" you practically forgot that you even desired it in the first place because of how unexplainably natural it was..that same thing you desired to have on the outside actually ends up being right there seen with your own human eyes. But why? Because the 3d is just a copy of imagination acts that we've accepted as true that in its own way harden into fact in our physical world.

Do not move through the world with your eyes of sight but through the eyes of faith, for faith sees beyond what the human eyes are limited to and the inner man can experience beyond what the outer man senses. Turn away from and disregard your organs and instead listen to who you are being NOT what you are doing. It's through faith that you are the inner man experiencing your desire, that your outer man also reflects this as well because who you are in the eyes of the flesh, was first who you became through the eyes of I AM.

#msallurea #law of assumption #manifestation #my blog #manifesting #neville goddard #affirm and persist #edward art

[papamado]

A "theory" regarding Sampo's abilities

okay so this is an absolute mess and more of a ramble but I think it might be worth sharing so here I am Since I'm very normal about Sampo Koski, I've noticed some paralels to.. osme things... and i ended up with a concept that Sampo might be aware/know the future/what is supposed to happen, aka the same/similar thing to what Elio is using as a base to write his scripts, or is aware of the scripts that Elio creates. On Belobog we don't encounter stellaron hunters (for obvious reasons), but Sampo does end up being the one who affects the way the plot goes and actively puts it in motion, he's the one in control (to some extent) He also appears to be aware of stuff that has yet to happen and its possible outcomes (getting Natasha even before we started fighting Svarog, knowing that we will arrive on Luofu despite it being an unplanned stop, the possible future Belobog catastropy) There's 2 ways to approach this: 1. He works with how it's supposed to go, (following the trailblazer around, kinda like stellaron hunters happen to do) 2. He deliberately works against it (Jarilo VI is supposed to face destruction but he prevents it, could be for personal reasons) Theres also the whole thing about him breaking the 4th wall, which could be connected. Awarnesss of the fact that this is a game could result in him having a knowledge of what the plot of said game is.

I strongly HC Sampo to be an Elation emanator, so I thought about what being an elation emanator could mean, as in, how realistically the powers could manifest From the recent guide that was released along side the 2.2 stream, we have a small entry about Masked Fools which confirms that the path powers are DIRECTLY tied to their masks (this could mean both metaphorical or physical masks but from what i get from the context here it most likely refers to the physical ones?? the concept works with both possibilities tho so whatever <3 )

We know that sampo doesn't have his mask currently (which also works in a symbolic way, Masks represent the devotion to Elation, him not having it could represent how he wants to distance himself from what Elation is considered to be and pursue his own idea of it instead. The general description provided here for how masked fools are doesn't exactly fit him either whichmight further prove that idea, i should write a seperate post on that, anyways-) , so how the hell can he do shit that we assumed earlier was Elation-related powers? i have 2 possible explanations for this 1. Him being an emanator lets him use the path powers without a need for a mask, if thats the case - the mask would only provide a powerup 2. Elation emanator powers are something else altogether

when we look at his current power set/abilities it can all be tied to the fact that this is a game so, him bieng an emanator of elation would allow him to ignore the rules of this world/mainupulate said rules, simple as that it would also explain why he can break the 4th wall, why he is aware of the future events, what leads to them and/or how to stop them in the first place and how he can do stuff that contradicts what's been established lore vise (like how nobody should be able to cross the barrier between the Overworld and Underworld), those rules don't apply to him, he's beyond them. But there's more we DO have an in game example of people already messing with the reality in the same manner - Silver Wolf From what I gathered (with help of some friends of mine mwah mwah), the "reality editing" abilites of Punklorde people are directly tied to a technology present in said world - that combined with the world view of those living here results with them reating the world they live in as if it was a game

Adding onto that, during "punklorde mentality" mission we get to hear Leonard say this:

"Masked fools believe it really exists" so are the Masked Fools aware that someone could posses *actual* (not provided by technology) power to alter/manipulate reality and ignore the established rules of the world? We can kinda see such thing happening with Aha in stimulated universe, not only do they break the 4th wall, but according to Herta they also seem to be affecting the stimulated universe itself Aha's manipulation of reality is also mentioned in the "Glimpses into the Beyond"

So maybe to wrap it all up: 1. Sampo could be aware of the possible future events and use the reality manipulation abilities/the fact that the rules don't apply to him to achieve a desired outcome 2. Him and the Stellaron Hunters have some paralels in the narrative when it comes to the role that they play and what they do?? kinda??? 3. Punklorde people could be affiliated with Elation to some extent, even if not directly blessed by it I am probably VERY wrong about all of this but honestly I'm having fun with this theory so idc <3

#sampo koski #hsr sampo #honkai star rail #masked fools #Aha the Elation #theory #stellaron hunters #I need to throw Elio into the blender to learn their secrets #hsr silver wolf #hsr thoughts #5 star sampo needs to come out faster because im losing my mind here yayyyyyy

[the-magnus-archives-wiki]

im here for things getting weird tbh :vc

Transcript below the cut

[Music]

Alex: Hello Everybody

Jonny: I'm Jonathan Sims, the writer and narrator of the Magnus Archives

Alex: Visionary Nightmare Merchant

Jonny: Visionary Nightmare Merchant, ooh I like that, I like that

Alex: and I'm Alexander J Newall, I am the founder and CEO of Rusty Quill Ltd and for magnus I was the co-creator with Jonny, alongside director and producer. Why are we here today?

Jonny: Oh, cuz we're doing it AGAIN!

Alex: yeah!! I know! Everyones like "Oh I maybe - maybe theyre doing like a little halloween special? NO!

Jonny: Magnus. Archives. Two. Not that Actual Title

Alex: We wont - no. There's a better title

Jonny: I'm really.. I'm not done  

Alex: Your not done. Don't tell them the title.

[Beep]

Alex: We need to tell you a bit more about it Like, whats going on? okay. So In order to do this, we are looking at doing a Kickstarter

Jonny: Kick. Starter.

Alex: to start the kicking. Um, and that basically means that We are going to be doing a pre-signup, Which is going to be available on the 30th of October, this year If you head to kickstarter.com/projects/the-magnus-archives2/the-magnus-archives-2 On the 30th You'll be able to pre-sign, and that means that you will get alerted when the kickstarter is live and that means you will be the first to get in there for early bird goodies and things like that where you will only get it if you are getting there right out of the gate But, we are trying to get this going  with a BIG kickstarter So that we can do THREE seasons. Three full seasons!

Jonny: Three seasons. It is going to be canon. It is going to be a continuation of the Magnus Archives universe But not necessarily in the way you would expect.

Alex: Its gonna get weird. Its gonna get really weird.

Jonny: its gonna get real weird.

Alex: So, we're also going to be selling limited edition merch

Jonny: limited edition merch! that was it!

Alex: So the limited edition merch is only going to be available for basically the period we are going this kickstarter, and these are designs that are going to disappear You will never be able to get them again. ever.

Jonny: Cuz if you try, i'll come round and burn them.

Alex: He'll come and burn it. In order to get ahold of those probably, you'll want to go to www.rustyquill.com and there will be more info there, but its pretty much going to be available anywhere that you can buy our designs so your looking at you know, redbubble, and tee public, things like that

Jonny: Can I get a mug?

Alex: yes.

Jonny: Can I get a t-shirt?

Alex: I believe so, yes.

Jonny: Can I get, your face as a cat scratching post?

Alex: Uh yes, but you will have to pay SIGNIFICANTLY more thats going to be a custom item and we will talk more on that later

Jonny: Oh no, I was inviting you over.

Alex: aww

Jonny: just to hang out...

Alex: aw shnookums!

[laugh]

[beep]

Alex: Why now? Its ben a while, we could have done it immediately but we didnt, why?

Jonny: I mean... cuz i fucking love magnus and i want to do some more of it

Alex: right? I kind of miss it.

Jonny: its been, since it finished, a lot of stuffs been just... percolating, and...

Alex: yeah.

Jonny: we were talking and we were like should we just? should we do? do you wanna just to a bit more?

Alex: we should do it. Yes, we are going to do, or we are AIMING to do I should say a three season epic is a strong word. life changing event?

Jonny: yeah? yeah.

Alex: we are looking at a larger number of guests we are looking at going big from the start we have learnt a lot of lessons during magnus 1 and we want to hit the ground running

Jonny: Lesson 1: Trust no one.

Alex: [laugh] okay. cool i feel like-

Jonny: Lesson 2: Plan your exit, on the way in.

Alex: I feel like we are honing back in to season 2 there so maybe steer us away from that... But yea we are -

Jonny: Lesson 3: dont listen to Alex. he's already compromised.

Alex: stop compromising all of the fandom with your MENTALITY

[beep]

Alex: in order to take part, to reiterate on very last time. If you head to kickstarter.com/projects/the-magnus-archives2/the-magnus-archives-2 You can get on there for the pre-sign from the 30th of october and then youll get more info or you can get all of the limited edition merch that WILL DISAPPEAR and for more info on that, go to RustyQuill.com

Jonny: The day before halloween. Halloween? Scary. before all hallows? its before all hallows... and so this is halloween-ee-een its Halloween squared baby. its even scarier

Alex: [snicker] thanks jonny.

[laugh]

Jonny: thats what I'm here for.

Alex: Bye everyone!

Jonny: Bye!

#the magnus archives #tma #also kinda unsettled by how much jonny looks like my ex in the video #bbut hmm i just like the sound of weird

[skullvgirl]

a strange dream | barou

incl. barou 🎀 ( he would kill me )

warnings. completely sfw, fluff, school!au, fem reader, very much ooc, slow burn

an's. i missed him so much i had to revisit

BAROU probably hasnt got any interest in you before your relationship, not in a bad way but lets be honest—he's a soccer addict, he definitely wouldn't notice you until well, he did.

you're both sitting in math class (which did i mention had one hell of alot of students) and someone from the other side of the room asks to pass a note to you, rumor has it they've got a crush.

eventually the note ends up in the large hands of Barou Shouei and he's of course expected to pass it along to you but doesn't see anyone ahead of him expecting to receive it from him. he's confused—who the hell was yn ?

its his bad—he really wasnt to familiar with anything not soccer related.

he looked around, then finally decided to give the piece of paper back to the person he got it from—whoever that was.

you look at barou confused, so the paper was for you? you had originally gave it too him because you weren't sure if the people mumbling in the back of the classroom were really talking about you or not.

you opened your mouth to whisper-yell at him, but he wasn't paying attention to you anymore, his eyes trained on the teacher once again.

you uncrumpled the paper, trying to be as quiet as possible in the dead silence, but with no luck.

"yn?!"

shit

"yes miss?", you hid the paper under the desk, trying not to make eye contact with the 28 other students that had eyes on you.

"care to share with the class whats so important that you need to be passing notes in my class?"

fuck

reason #1 why you really hated this class, your math teacher was a fucking bitch.

'mean girl giggles' echoed throughout the room, barous eyes paying special attention to what you were about to do.

you dreaded the feeling of being forced to stand up in front of the entire class and read aloud whatever was written on the small note.

"get to it missy"

oh fuck off

you looked around the classroom trying to assess anyone who may have been distressed or embarrassed but with no luck, everyone seemed to be waiting on you.

weird...

"im serious yn. if you dont start reading in the next 10 seconds im going to—"

"no, no thats okay—i-im reading"

for whoever wrote me this, i am so sorry.

you cleared you throat in preparation for the humiliation you were about to face, curses be upon you miss peterson.

"hi, i think your really cute, we should go out sometime together, from..."

your heart stopped.

oh no this cant be right

"thats it."

"thats it?" the teacher probed, slowly making her way towards you.

"that it. i-it just says from your secret admirer after that nothing else".

your math teacher narrowed her eyes, looking closely at your expression—she didn't buy it.

dont breakeyecontactdont break eye contactdont breakeyecontactdontbreakeyecontactdontbreakeyecontact—

"really..."

"really!" you broke eye contact.

she pointed her nose upwards, probably as high as possible and began walking towards your desk.

"alright then i wanna see it, i need to have it confiscated"

"what?!, why?" oops you said that kinda loud. the class whom had previously lost interest when you finished reading turned back towards you and miss peterson now intrigued.

"well why not?! it was a distraction in class and now it needs to be taken away to make sure it wont be a distraction again...!"

but that doesn't make sense, if you care so much about us passing notes you should take our notebooks not the gosh dang note !

"but that doesn't make sense—" but you didn't get a chance to finish as the teacher viciously snatched the paper from you and spun around back towards her desk.

you sat down and burried your hands in your face, you couldn't watch this.

"oh this looks fun...says it's from barou shouei, not what i was expecting...not what i was expecting at all..."

fucking kill yourself, PLEASE

the class, which had previously been dormant erupted in a series of raging giggles and screams—shocked at the reveal of who the note was from.

a soccer player.

it was no secret in BLLK High that nobody—under any circumstance—was to mess with a soccer player. they had a bit of a reputation going on. even the nice ones.

" 'cuse me?" a commanding and masculine voice emerged from your left side and you turned as quickly as possible to the over 6 foot ( 182 cm ) tall man trying to explain yourself.

fuck, one day you were seriously gonna kill your math teacher.

"no, no no i promise it's not like that—i seriously don't know who made this i promise it wasn't from me and i know it wasn't from you—"

"you're yn ?" he cut you off smoothly, leaning back in his seat ever so slightly.

"huh?"

his knees were facing yours now. "you're yn right? been wondering who that was for the longest, guess i know now, cool."

"huh?"

okay now you were confused—about multiple things actually. #1, barou shouei, the man you'd been sitting next to for almost a full year now had yet to learn your name untill just now which is—gosh, just outrageous even for a soccer player

and #2 he wasn't toltally angry and going to kill you like everyone said he would have, should you make a fool of him?

no seriously someone explain what was happening.

you didnt get a chance to ponder on your thoughts much longer however, the bell rang loudly in your ear and soon everyone including yourself was making way for the door out the classroom.

what the fuck just happened, what the actual fuck just happened.

"heyy ! yn over here !" you didnt realize it but you apparently had auto-piloted your way all the way through lunch and was now being called over by people you've never talked to a day in your life—and you knew exactly what it would be about.

could this get any worse

you were about to find out. "yes...?" you asked, tray still in hand while you stood awakwardly by the trash can near the lunch table who called you over.

"soo—wait first sit down, we're friends we're friends, sit down first" one of the girls said, patting a seat next to herself eagerly.

you looked at the eyes on you and quickly made a decision to move.

there definitely here to ask me about him. it can't be that bad right? i think her name is ashley? i don't know maybe this'll be fun, maybe they'll be nice.

"so have you guys had sex?"

"what?! no—"

"have you guys even ever kissed yet?"

"no—"

"we used to talk you know", this one was from ashley, a pretty blonde haired girl who's blue eyes sparkled like marbles.

"really?"

she was attractive that for sure but and you could definitely see why some people would wanna date her but barou? not so much.

"really"

like in what world would some super macho super mysterious soccer guy get the hots for some popular pretty blonde girl? not to mention an obnoxious pretty blonde girl.

gosh i sound like a pick me right now, who knows maybe they really did talk

"didn't even know her name" barou said, cracking his neck from side to side.

"seriously man?" asked isagi, popping a fry in his mouth.

"dead serious"

this was the soccer table, a table where only the best of best players would sit for lunch, not that it was official or anything—but new students were warned not to go near The Table anyway.

"so you did ask yn to prom?"

"no bachira, i didn't ask her how many times to i have to say that, i barely know her anyways"

"untill today" kunigami confirmed.

"until today" barou repeated.

"would you though?" chigiri asked, he glanced over at your table—you were pretty that much was obvious but it was barou we're talking about, who knows what he thought of you.

"nah, couldn't."

"why not? shes not ugly" nagi questioned albeit a bit insensitively.

"shes not but..." he trailed off, stringing his eyes from nagi to you, she looks kinda...

"but what"

"i don't want her thinking we're dating after prom or somethin', gotta focus on the game."

"what if i did then, think she'd say yes?" it was reo speaking now who was now also looking at your table.

"nah, your uncanny resemblance to a donkey might turn her off"

The Table laughed as reo scowled at the other players, he didnt find it very funny.

"shut the fuck up shouei, i didn't hear her accepting your undying love now did i?"

"thats because i never really asked her dipshit"

"your point! still better than knowing your rejected as a default"

"is it though?" barou was almost smiling at the purple headed boy.

"oh really? watch me"

the table made boyish "ooo"-ing sounds and reo stood up confidently.

shouts erupted from the table, causing the whole cafeteria to turn towards the players, they payed them no mind however, only staring intently at where reo was walking.

"look, look, look! one if them is coming over here right now!"

"really?!"

you whipped your head around towards where the whole cafeteria's attention had been directed.

nononon, this cannot be happening. you seriously did not need another soccer players thinking you were some freak weirdo because someone else wanted to be messy!

"thats reo, he's super fucking rich, i heard he has a whole two backyards !"

"and an a theater room!"

great, and it was a rich snob kid too.

"does yn sit here?"

your table said nothing, even the loud ashley kept quiet while he was talking. everyones heads turned to you, waiting expectantly for you to say something.

"yeah thats me..." you said meekley.

reo smiled and curled his finger towards himself a few times, asking you to come to him.

this is so awakward

you stood up silently and walked over to where reo was. he didn't stop directing him towards you until you were standing right up against him, close enough to where he could grab your jaw and yank your ear towards his mouth.

"you're hot, go out with me"

your eyes bludged, and your heart accelerated way more than it should have. that was NOT what you were expecting.

reo let go of your face, his hands were in his pockets as he waited for your answer, he looked confident tou would say yes. and most people would, but this was a soccer player we were talking about—and this one specifically was known for being super rich, super smart and a super hoe. three things you couldn't be bothered to even try giving a chance with.

you glanced behind him trying to peer at the damage that had been done.

holy shit the whole fuking cafeteria is looking

"so?"

you were snapped back into reality as reo looked at you, still waiting for an answer. it was pretty obvious what you were going to say.

"no. im sorry but no, i hardly know you and you're really not my type, sorry."

your table made all types of noises as they watched the now humiliated boy bite a scowl and walk back too his table.

you quickly sat back down and watched as The Table made fun of reo's rejection. all the players were laughing but you were only looking at one.

"said i wasn't her type". The Table erupted in laughter, all the players except reo cackling like animals.

"fucking told you so, at least get to know the girl before you start trying to hit on her" isagi joked, slapping reo on the back repeatedly.

"no for real, dont know what made you think she would fall for you in a day, not all girls are so easy you know" kunigami shook his head.

"what did you say too her anyways?" nagi asked now curious as to what got him such a harsh rejection anyways.

"didn't say nothing, js asked her if she wanted to go out, said no, that's it." reo reiterated bitterly.

"knowing him it was probably something like 'youre hot, lets go out'" barou said offhandedly, distracted by the feeling of eyes on him.

"you could hear?" reo asked, now confused.

The Table went silent for a moment and isagi burst out laughing when he realized what reo had just said.

"so you did really say that?!"

the emmbarassment for reo only cotinued further but barou wasn't paying attention to that. the eyes from before were still on him.

it was you.

cute...

BAROU isnt really much of a romantic either, he hasn't got the headspace for it like he does for soccer, so of course—he's not seeking the love. the love is seeking him.

1 week later

you sat quietly in the school library studying like a madman for finals, it was just near the end of the school year and you were determined to get good marks on all of the subjects.

the library was the most perfect and quiet place to relax and work at the same time—without any distractions or problems to bother you from your job.

"excuse me?"

you glanced up to where the voice was coming from and your heart felt like it was going to explode.

it was none other than barou shouei in the flesh.

a whole week, a whole week you had managed to somewhat avoid his presence and pretty much ignore him during math ( your teacher denied you request to switch spots ) it was going fine untill—well, now.

"can i borrow your computer charger? mine just died and a left mine at home"

that was it?

you didn't really know what to expect from the man though. he was known to be pretty brutal on tbe field maybe you were assuming he'd be the same in real life.

although i guess i shouldn't think that considering how chill he was over the fake confession and all of that...

"oh yeah sure, I uh can let your borrow it no problem"

"thanks"

barou took your charger without another word and walked back over too his seat.

the racing in your heart was begining to subside, that wasn't so bad...

you shifted to get comfortable in your seat and began studying once again, right now where was i...

"excuse me?"

and just as you were getting comfortable. barou shoei again.

"yes?"

"sorry im back so soon but, could i sit here for a little bit. the outlet by my table isnt working for some reason" he said it in a polite tone but seemed eager for an answer, he was probably in a rush to get as much study time in before practice like most athletes were.

he really isnt as scary as i thought he'd be...

"yeah of course that's fine, it's better this way anyway, wont forget you had it in the first place ya know" you smiled moving your belongings over to make room for his.

"thanks"

barou set his things down and soon enough a static silence ensued over the both of you, not that you minded though. you still needed to get work done and it was better he wasn't attempting to make conversation with you. it is a bit awkward though...

"you color coded your pens"

the voice that emmited from the other side of the table almost made you forget who was there.

"i did, why?"

"nice, i did too"

barou didnt wait for an answer, but instead pulled out a all black pencil pouch to reveal all seven colors of the rainbow line up in order.

jeez, i just think it looks cool, his has all the pen hooks facing up too, ocd much?

that wasn't the main point though, what was more important was his sticker—on thst rested sturdy on his bag. "you watch graves anatomy too?"

he looked surprised when you mentioned the show, and nodded his head appropriately. "yeah, and im all caught up too, all 22 seasons and counting."

"holy hell, im only on season 12 how to even time for that—aren't you always having games and stuff, scince your on varsity and all..."

barou quirked an eyebrow, "mm you know your stuff—i make it work"

now it was your turn to make a face "you make it work...really, its that easy?"

no. the absurbant amount of school work i have is fucking killing me right now plus i've got sisters too take care of so no, it's definitely not easy

thats not what he said though.

"yup, real easy." he nodded his head and although you didn't buy it, it was hardly your place to nag. he didn't seem like someone you should nag.

"uh huh.." you shook your head up and down slow and repeatedly, "for sure, for sure"

"what you don't believe me?" barou moved his chair closer to yours, so close in fact you think your knees were touching, his arms bulged as he rested his hands on his head ; it was hot nice seeing him in a position that wasn't so straight .

"no i do, you seem really responsible im sure you're great at 'making it work' " you put a thumbs up.

gosh, could you be anymore awakward...

"oh im responsible ? you would know that im responsible?" barou questioned, leaning even closer on his arms towards you.

is he...flirting with me?

you laughed and covered your mouth with your hand leaning slightly away as he got closer.

"i mean yeah" you paused to swipe away the nonexistent dust from your eyes, you just couldn't hold the eye contact.

come on, dont get shy now yn.

"people talk, i guess."

"do they?"

"they do" you nodded your head firmly up and down, since it was the only thing you were sure you could do at the moment.

"mh"

mmh?!? the fuck does that mean ??

"so yn i wanna ask you a question" barou leaned back as he said this, finally returning to his normal position.

holy shit my heart was beating so fast, somebody get me on a stretcher and to the hospital NEOW, i am about to blow!

"yeah?"

barou stayed silent for a few moments, thinking deeply about what he was going to say.

"hypothetically..." he paused, staring directly at you.

"hypothetically..." you confirmed.

"hypothetically if someone, other than reo from the soccer team—just as an example lets say...yoichi ! remember hypothetically speaking—asked you out on a date what would your answer be?"

huh?

"what kind of question is that?"

"a hypothetical one" he said matter of factly.

"a hypothetical one, right, well if—hypothetically of course—i was asked out by isagi, om a date that is...i don't know...yeah? I guess i'd day yes?"

"really, you would?" he looked surprised and you suddenly felt alarmed, was that a bad thing or something??

"yeah? i mean no, not really—maybe not if he asked the way your friend did..."

"mhm"

??? again, what does that mean?

A moment of silence passed between the two of you and you tried and failed at going back to the work you were supposed to be doing in the first place.

"what about chigiri?" he said suddenly.

"chigiri? what do you me—"

"chigiri. pretty, has red hair, plays on varsity and is super fast? chigiri. would you say yes too him?"

"i mean, maybe, yeah he's definitely not ugly and i guess if i knew him well enough I would probably say yes—why are you asking me this?"

barou said nothing and suddenly, the strangest thing began to happen—he looked at you smiling—a large, uncanny smile resembling a creepypasta monster formed from on his face, your heart began to beat but for the wrong reasons.

"wake up yn" it was definitely barou's voice but it sounded far.

"huh?" you couldn't move, and you now realize you probably couldn't move for a while.

what...is happening...

"wake. up."

your head shot up from your arms, ans you looked around disorientedly.

oh...

up untill about the last 30 seconds you were a bit disappointed it had to end. your dream that is.

"yn", a voice—much deeper than you recall im your fantasies spoke out to you as you felt a tap on your shoulder.

it was barou. the real barou.

"i baroued your charged?" he said holding it out towards you. (an's. IM HALARIOUS LAMOSJKWIS)

"oh. right sorry, thanks." you took the cord from him. but he didn't leave, still looming over you in his tall stature he spoke again.

"uh, you got a little.." he pointed to the corner of his lip, scratching at it in expectation for you to do the same.

you did, softly at first, not really sure what is it he was implying but quickly realized what he meant after you felt a crusty dry substance still left from your unconscious.

oh..

oh !

"ive got drool on my face haven't i" he nodded his head, and you swore you saw grin appear on his face—a real one but he turned and walked away before you could make confirm.

"thanks for the charger yn, see ya later"

his back was facing you now, slowly getting smaller and smaller at he walked away from you.

seriously ! could i be anyless embarrassing for even a second!

im afraid not yn.

because according to barou, he thinks your little moments of embarrassment and humiliation were pretty damn cute.

BAROU is never scared. he hardly ever get worried, he's king and one of the best players in his school, he's top of his class always and struggles—never. so why? why was it now, over some so trivial that he was all thoes things he never gets all at once?

1 week later, in the classroom.

barou felt weird.

the truth is, he didnt need a partner for the social studies project. his teacher was allowing groups of two or singles all the same. his reasoning behind why he wanted a partner is what was scaring him.

after almost an entire year, barou realized that you not only were in his math class, but his social studies as well. and his history, and biology—even his orchestra ( he plays cello in case you were wondering ).

he realized that you were everywhere.

barou, for the first time was recognizing someome else, not on the team, not an adult, but a girl, he was acknowledging a girl, as more than nothing.

it was weird.

"yn."

you peered up at him, wide-eyed and adorable. "work with me on the project"

your eyes, (e/c) and beautiful, got impossibly larger.

"yeah—uh—sure we can"

he gave a thumbs up, and went back to his seat.

what am i doing?

"i dont know, maybe we can exchange numbers instead?"

"yeah thats better, since im hardly on social media anyways"

even though you've got so many followers..

"alright cool"

you and barou were in the library, again. instead of dreaming about his muscles however, you were watching them in real time move for your phone and yours the same.

there wasnt mych said after that, only short words to communicate what part of the project you both were supposed to work on, untill...

"yn?"

"yes" and once again, you were looking at him, wife eyed and adorable.

"i've got a question to ask you"

no way, did i fall asleep again?

you sucked in a breath, and pinched your cheeks, not paying any attention to the words that might come out of his mouth.

"ow!" nope, you were definitely awake.

barou raised an eyebrow and couldn't hold himself in. he burst out laughing and you we're glad the library waw empty, because in all his seriousness—barou's laugh was loud. like the sort of thing you'd been holding in for a while.

"what yn, afraid you're gonna fall asleep again?"

your cheeks heated up an intense amount.

"no..."

"you're funny you know, really funny"

"huh?!" you squeaked, shifting all over in your chair. "what does that mean"

barou leaned in close to your face, so close that your noses were touching.

"it means..." he tilted hid head sidewards, waiting for your permission.

"i think you're the stupidest most adorable person to exist..." you didn't move away.

and like a shock, barous lips were on yours so softly it made it feel very much like a dream, but it wasn't.

an's. i know this is not himmm, he wouldn't even look at you after a supposed fake letter i knooow, i couldn't think of a better way to force it ( i was lazy ) and he's cute let me live.

an's. i rushed the end i knoww, leave me alone. i like writing for personal enjoyment shhhhhh.

#fanfiction #anime #blue lock #skullgirl #bllk headcanons #bllk #bllk fluff #bllk imagines #bllk x reader #bllk x you #baroushoueiheadcannons #barou shoei x reader #barou fluff #barou x you #bllk barou #blue lock barou #barou shouei #barou x reader #barou bluelock #yn x canon #fluff #ooc post #blue lock x female reader #fem reader #female reader #fic #oneshot #suggestive #reo mikage

[gabriel-the-messenger]

Armored Core 6: Fires of Rubicon

Please play this game I am begging on my knees

Whats not to like:

1

Big robots fighting with oversized weapons

2

A lovely photo mode for all the screenshots you would ever need

3

Endless mech costumisation

4

Endless LOGO and DECAL constumisation

(This logo took about 3 hours of my day but I regret absolutely nothing)

5

Not one. Not two. But THREE great stories (with NG+ and NG++)

6

"621, the Balam Corporation wants you to burn down this orphenage for a handful of COAM. It's just a job, all of it. Stay focused on the job 621"

7

Handler Walter my beloved🥰

(He's actually just a disembodied voice in the game, credits to u/Count15 on Reddit for the fanart)

Also, shoutout to the lady in my head that calls me Studmuffin (love you Ayre)

8

Coughing baby vs hydrogen bomb (i.e : if you're gonna commit war crimes and/or throw away your humanity, do it in style)

9

(this one is just for you @zealfruity, if you're anyone else you can scroll past this one)

You can make a Transformer!

(This one is by iiiveliii on TikTok. I haven't found any great Starscreams, meaning YOU should be the first!)

10

If you're not @zealfruity, welcome back! So, for my last and final point:

THE MUSIC

If you weren't already enamoured by the visuals of this game, wait t'ill you hear its soundtrack.

These are two examples I cherry-picked from my favorites, but there's nothing more atmospheric than fighting giant robots while having these bangers in the background.

CLOSING REMARKS

AC6: Fires of Rubicon is an amazing game. It takes about 50-60 hours to complete (including NG+ and NG++), but I've sank more than 100+ hours into it as of writing this post. It offers an experience unlike any other, letting you not only build and costumize your massive war machine to your heart's content, experimenting with many different playstyles, but also let's you experience an amazing story with many hidden facades (in true FromSoftware style (did I mention this was a FromSoft game? Dark Souls FromSoft?)) and fight interesting and varied bosses.

Be warned, I have struggled on quite a few bosses, and even the tutorial boss is considered a "filter". However, when you do beat these ennemies, you feel a rush unlike any other.

I've spent all this time writing this and yet I haven't even talked about PvP, and thats because my enjoyment of it varies extremely depending on who I'm fighting. Some people run builds based around the meta (which I personnally find a bit boring, but if that's your vibe then go all out), but I find the truly entertaining matches to be players who aren't afraid to experiment, bringing unconventionnal weapons or builds and trying out interesting strategies. Some also throw all of that out of the window, and I've had quite a few matches end up with me and them simply throwing our weapons out and punching each other to death.

All around, I obviously could not recommend this game more. It's a good 9.5/10 for me, with my only criticism is that I wish there were more long-range and ballistic weapons (I'm a sucker for the sound of bullets ricocheing).

#ac6 #armored core #armored core 6 #fires of rubicon #armored core vi #handler walter #stud muffin #video games #rant #merc

[bobacupcake]

Hi Rob! After the events of last year I was really saddened by what happened with Unity, and haven't checked on it since. It feels like people are talking about Unity like normal again... Did things change back and it's okay to use again, or should I completely scrap my project?

unity walked back some of the changes, main points being

fee is no longer retroactive, only applies to unity 2024 and up

fee only applies to games with over 1 million in revenue over the course of a year, AND 1 million users

fee is now a choice between either self reported downloads, or a flat 2.5% revshare, whichever is lower, over the initial 1 million

ceo resigned

what that means for you is up to you ! most people are still pretty unhappy about the initial breach of trust. for bigger companies this also still means the per-seat cost that they were used to PLUS revshare, so a lot of them are considering switching to unreal since thats just revshare, but, i assume most of us here are not bigger companies, so its really just a case of, what you want to do with it

personally i am sticking with unity because i just cant really afford to learn another engine right now (which would probably be godot since getting away from unity just to go to unreal seems counterproductive for me . also i just dont like using unreal ..) godots also still a bit in its early stages, and this will absolutely change with all the attention its gotten, but again i cant really wait for that to happen.. and while some of my 8years of unity experience will carry over, id have to relearn a lot too and its just not feasible for someone who needs to launch a game like. Last Year

a lot of people still are switching though just because of the initial breach of trust, knowing that something like this could happen Again , jumping off a sinking ship, etc etc . a lot of people have been unhappy with unity for a While, it has a ton of different half-finished systems in place, some of them overlapping with eachother, while people really just want them to iron things out, focus on the structural issues people have when trying to launch a game with unity (unity was actually doing something like this, they were making a whole full fledged game in unity internally and going to release it as an example project. it got cancelled because they ran into structural issues trying to launch a game with unity . )

SO, basically . long story short its complicated . a lot of the initial issues got reversed, but the fact that they thought it was a good idea in the first place reveals larger issues that are going to take a while to address and build back trust of developers again . do what you feel is best for you. i Want off the unity ship but for me its going to have to be when im in a more stable place to actually do that... some day i hope to try out godot

#ask #potion of answers your question #Anonymous

[daisybell17]

New Years with Loki hc’s:

He would be so confused on why this was such a big deal to many midgardians…its a new year…so what?

Besides his confusion, he loved new years eve parties, and with you it just makes it 100x better

His first new years eve party was hosted by Tony Stark so of course it did not disappoint

He wore a nice black suit with hints of green silks inside his coat jacket. You on the other hand wore a tight fitting dress, also having hints of green through glitter spread around the dress

Loki could not keep his eye off you

The night was filled with great conversation, food, drinks and celebration of the year that passed by and the year to come

Loki kept hearing about “resolutions” and of course when it came to Midgardian things he did not understand, he would ask you

“Why is everyone asking me my “resolutions”? From Stark to the spider boy to even the arrow guy…what is a resolution darling?”

“Well a new years resolution is something people make as a sort of change in their life, sometimes they’re big, sometimes small. It’s just something people make as the new year comes, since its like a restart of everything”

“That sounds…odd, why do people wait till new years to make a change, just do it now”

“I cant really answer that honey, everyone is different, plus I have my own resolution”

His eyebrows raised at your response “You do? Enlighten me my dear”

“Yea one of my new years resolution is to spend more time reading, hopefully finishing books i have been putting of. I guess mine is small but it is some improvement…you should make something!” You encouraged him as to bring in the new years spirit

“Me? Improvement? Make a resolution? Darling I don’t need one. I’m perfect. duh” He snickered

You laughed at his response “You know there isn’t such thing as perfection, thats what makes life beautiful, its always changing and you find the beauty in it…plus, even perfection such as yourself can always self improve somewhere”

“That defeat the whole purpose of perfect, I don’t need some resolution…i am PERFECT darling!” He kisses your cheek as he finished his stance

“Okay! Whatever you say honey”

The night goes on as normal but of course your words linger Loki’s mind…and he took a minute to do some reflection…i mean he knew he was perfect, but even perfection has room for self-improvement…hmmm..

As the final 10 minutes of the year approached, your tipsy self found Loki and fell onto him

“Woah! Darling you ok?” He says as he holds you up

“YUP JUST TIPSY! …its a-almost n-new years…i need to be sober for our kisssssss”

“Kiss? I can kiss you right now you know”

“nOOOO new years eve kiss! I need water…NOW”

Loki rushes to get you water to get you back to being sober and by the time you gathered yourself and your thoughts, there was about 3 minutes to go

“OKAY IM GOOD! so basically a new years kiss is when we kiss once the clock hits 0! so basically…an i love you kiss, happy new year! Ya get it?”

Loki nods…he would kiss you any day at any time but he knew to wait, this was special to you as he could tell

As everyone gathered and the clock counted down, you and Loki stood together side by side

“10….9…8…7!”

Loki watches as everyone was here, celebrating the past and the future, all in the present moment…

“6…5…4...3!”

As the last 3 seconds ticked by, he took one good look at you. He knew how the past year had been for you…filled with so much good, too much bad in his opinion but amazing moment you both shared…and he couldn’t wait to see what the future brought for you in your own right, but for where you both will be and the memories to be created…he couldn’t wait

“2…1! Happy New Year!” Everyone cheered, screams of happiness filled the room and hugs and love was spread all around

You looked up at Loki and awaited for him to kiss you, which he did once you gave that glance that drove him insane

As the kiss went on, Loki felt nothing but happiness…how lucky is he to be with someone like you? What a lucky god he is….

Pulling away, you hugged Loki and watched as the fireworks went of and your friends greeting one another, you and Loki also greeting back

The excitement slowly died down and many went back to partying and drinking…Loki looked at you “Darling…I have a resolution”

You looked at him happily “You do?! You wanna share or keep it to yourself?”

“No no…you should know…My new years resolution is to make us happier…build us closer to our future…and of course…love you more and more each day…”

Looking at Loki, your eyes welled up in happy tears and you kissed him once more “Oh i’m so lucky to be with you…my love, I love you so much”

“I am just as lucky as you…I love you too…happy new year” He says with a smile as he held you close

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