#it's so painful to write small towns bc even if im from one (almost) my brain is permanently in a busy bustling city

[pwarkluv]

❝ idk you yet ❞ - p.js

park jisung x reader | angsty, fluff | 1.6k words 

WARNINGS | TW: mentions blood, abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, lowercase au, non-idol au, high school au, badboy!jisung, mature language/cursing, reader is like an angel sent from heaven for him, jisungie just in need of love :(

SUMMARY | being an outcast has him wondering if he’ll ever be happy. cue you, the new girl, stumbling into his life (literally).

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “idk you yet” by alexander23! also AHHH this is my 100 followers special fic :) THANK U LOVES FOR 100 IM SO SHOCKED CJSBFKEJD <33 the writing is a little crappy because i’m currently on my period and my patience for sitting down and writing this went down halfway through lol but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ENJOY THIS JISUNG FIC BC JISUNG MY BABIE AND SO ARE YOU GUYS!

whenever anybody thinks of park jisung, they think of the chains and dark clothing he wears. they think about the faint smell of smoke and men’s cologne that follows him wherever he goes. 

they think of the boy who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. 

but what they don’t think about are bruises on his face he fails to hide whenever he walks into school, the dejected look on his face whenever random people give him disapproving looks, the way his smile slowly faded into a permanent frown wherever he went. 

jisung quickly accepted his reputation at school and in their little town, not having enough energy to feel insecure about it like before.

the only group of people that even remotely cared about the boy were his best friends in the whole entire world, nct dream.

they were outcasts just like him, the most “fucked up group of boys” in their town (the people’s words, not theirs).

see, they were your typical bad boy group straight out of your typical fanfic. bad grades, smoking in their free time, getting into fights, always being late to class; not a single person had hope in them.

but behind their scary and intimidating facade, all seven boys were big softies with misunderstood hearts and difficult backgrounds.

people were just too dense to look into it, only judging them based on their looks and personality on the outside. 

❝ how can you miss someone you’ve never met ❞

love was a foreign thing to jisung, the only form of love he’s ever felt being from his friends. his parents were… interesting to say the least. 

jisung’s father was a hard-core alcoholic, his mother being a major druggie. with no siblings in the house, jisung was usually their main target to push around and beat up.

and so because of this at a young age jisung learned to distance himself from other people and found different ways to release stress.

he started smoking when he was 14, the warm and hazy feeling of the smoke entering his lungs comforting him.

if jisung humored himself enough, maybe smoking could count as his first love. it was always there for him, never leaving him alone even if he wanted to quit. 

he relied on it knowing it was the only constant in his life. 

now of course the boy has heard of proper love, love like in the movies or shitty romance songs he hears on the radio.

and he won’t lie, there were moments he thought about what it felt like to be in love. but he knew that would never happen, at least not in their small town anyways. 

he just wanted to be loved. 

jisung would never admit it but sometimes he’d be jealous of the old couples walking down the street in their own world like it was just them two against the universe. he was jealous of the happy kids running around, their mother’s and father’s fondly smiling at their child. he was jealous of all the “normal” kids in his neighborhood. 

jisung wanted that, craved that. 

but most importantly, the boy wanted love.

❝ cause i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

everything hurt. 

his head, his body, his mind, his heart; everything was in pain.

jisung walked down the empty streets of their city, a trail of blood following behind him as he accepted his fate. the boy was 99% sure he had a concussion and at the very least had a few broken ribs. 

he felt like this was the end, and he was ready.

-

wandering aimlessly around town, you decided to take a late night walk to familiarize yourself around the area. you had just moved into the city a week ago, spending all seven days trying to help your family unpack and rearrange your cozy new home. 

now that you were finally free of the smell of tape and the dust of the boxes, you decided it was best to get to know the place you were living in. 

the autumn air seemed to settle at night as you shivered, cursing yourself for not bringing a jacket of some sort. the sight of a convenience store up ahead of you brought you relief as you rummaged through your pockets wondering if you had enough money for ramen.

your steps became excited as you found a couple dollars, fondly thinking about what type of ramen you should buy. you became so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even notice the poor boy who was staggering in front of you, or the trail of blood he left behind. 

-

jisung pushed himself to reach the convenience store a couple feet away from him, in desperate need of supplies to at least try and fix himself. 

if it didn’t help in any way then oh well, maybe death was indeed an option. 

grinding his teeth though the pain, he did not expect to feel a small body bump into him. had he been at his regular health, jisung would’ve easily been able to keep still but because of how much blood he was losing the boy was knocked down like a bowling pin.

“holy fuck.” jisung cursed the feeling of the concrete floor colliding with his ribs. he didn’t even notice the girl who had bumped into him sitting on the floor dumbfounded, freaking out over his state.

“oh my fucking god.” the girl said, capturing his attention. jisung glared at the stranger, mentally acknowledging the fact she was pretty. 

but her being pretty won’t get you anywhere, he scolded himself. she’ll leave you just like everyone else.

“a-are you okay?” she said, eyes glancing at his black eye. jisung rolled his eyes, already annoyed. “does it look like i’m okay?” he replied, his deep voice catching the girl off guard. 

“just, fuck off.” jisung said closing his eyes as he laid back down on the floor, knowing he couldn’t force himself to get up anymore. he didn’t even have to open his eyes to know she left, hearing the sound of her footsteps walk away.

the boy sighed as he laid idly on the floor, wondering what sin he committed to lead him to where he is now. not even she wanted to stay, the tears threatening to fall as his thoughts buried him alive.

“why can’t i just die?” jisung said out loud, asking no one but himself.

“because i won’t let you.” a voice replied as jisung forced himself to sit up in confusion. it was the same girl he had bumped into, but this time she had a first aid kit with her. he gave her a lost look despite knowing what she was here to do. 

jisung’s mind just couldn’t wrap around the fact that a total stranger would even bother to help him. 

“now sit up.” she said softly as she bent down to open the box, the boy slowly followed her instructions. “i’m sorry this might sting.” she said though jisung didn’t mind because she was much prettier up close.

-

the next ten minutes were you trying to fix his wounds against the shitty chairs outside the convenience store.

jisung didn’t even bother mentioning his broken ribs, not wanting you to freak out. you cleaned up what you could and the boy was beyond grateful for that.

you subconsciously rubbed his back in a comforting way whenever you’d apply alcohol to his open wounds, trying to ease the sting. you held his hand for him to hold and though he was a big boy and had a high pain tolerance, he still gave it a squeeze just to keep your hand there.  what the actual fuck is this feeling, jisung asked himself as he watched your determined figure work on him.

it was cold and in order to better work on his wounds, the boy offered to give you his hoodie which strangely had no traces of blood on it. you gladly accepted, the faint smell of blood and his cologne engulfing you up. 

the sight of you in something so big and so him made his chest swell in pride.

jisung couldn’t even formulate a sentence as you cursed at the time once you finished patching him up, fleeing the scene before he could say anything with a small smile, his hoodie still on. 

❝ and can you find me soon because i’m in my head ❞

the thought of your soft hands on his, your voice, your whole presence; everything about you couldn’t seem to leave the poor boy’s mind. it was now monday, and waiting for his class to start already made him want to go home.

if only i got her name, jisung daydreamed with his head resting on the palm of his hand. the classroom was loud and bright, people occasionally giving him looks but the boy didn’t mind. 

“jisungie~ did you hear we have a new kid?” jaemin asked, poking the boy’s cheeks. the boy only gave him a pointed look before sighing. 

“hyung i don’t really care.” jisung replied, looking back out the window. 

jaemin only gave him an offended look before grumbling a bit. “i don’t know maybe you will.” he muttered under his breath as their teacher walked into the room. 

❝ yeah i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

their homeroom teacher stood in front of the class, jisung tuning out his voice. the boy once again sighed as his teacher called for their attention, explaining they had a new girl in their class. “now make her feel welcomed,” he said before turning towards the door.

“y/n, please come in.” the teacher said and jisung almost fell out of his seat when he saw you walking through the door with the same smile you gave him a couple days ago.

“hi i’m y/n and i hope we can get along.” you bowed to the class, a familiar hoodie you were wearing catching his attention. 

isn’t that mine, jisung thought to himself as he bit back a smile knowing you kept it all along. 

#park jisung #park jisung x reader #park jisung x y/n #park jisung fanfic #park jisung imagine #park jisung imagines #nct dream #nct dream x reader #nct dream x y/n #nct dream fanfic #nct dream imagine #nct dream imagines #haung renjun #lee jeno #lee mark #lee haechan #lee donghyuck #na jaemin #zhong chenle #nct angst #nct 127 #wayv #nct 127 imagine #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 x y/n #huang renjun x y/n #huang renjun x reader #lee jeno x reader

[boneheadduluc]

I'm in need of some Andrea smut every time I read something about him there is no sex because this was in the 30's and it would be inappropriate to do it before marriage. So...let's get inappropriate (?

no mommy kink please, i can't cope with that

Actually this was going to happen v/ soon in my fic of Andrea BUT I'll write a quick drabble/one shot for you bc same! we need that in our lives :) I'll be doing gender neutral reader for dis ;) Warnings!! 18+ , loss of virginity, perhaps slight edging? oral on reader (female presenting) and NO mommy kink per request :)

Rules were rules. Marry a nice man, then lose your virginity. You had been following those rules. Even now, you lived alone in a small cottage on a hill. And you still haven't lost it. You never felt inclined too really...and you were fine with that. It's just everyone in the village usually was a kid or a senior. No one was around your age, so you preferred a secluded kind of life. 

 Even if that meant following rules you didn't want to follow. You hated that you didn't have a choice. You hated how your parent's voice replayed in your head over and over. Telling you “wait! get married first!” You were sick of it, you were desperate sure, not desperate enough to lose it to whoever you met, but then...

 a new boy showed up, you learned his story since you were a bit close with Janet and Ursula, the old sisters who were housing the young man. So you met him, and god... he was just your type.

Plus they invited you over so he could play for you? meaning the violin. At first, you felt a little out of place... until he started playing. Needless to say, he was more than talented than you expected. You’d never heard anything like it, afterward, he wanted to talk to you surprisingly. 

“What is you name?” he tried his best to speak, you were told his English wasn't the best so you found it more endearing than anything and applauded his effort since he’d only been here for a few weeks. So you looked to him, sitting beside you with wide eyes and rosy cheeks. His hair was a bit shaggy as he shook the hair out of his eyes.

“Oh, my name is (y/n).” You gave a warm smile, shifting in your seat to face him more. “And you are Andrea, yes?” and he nodded before he repeated your name warmly, and honestly you loved the way it sounded in his mouth.

------------------

Weeks passed, you visiting, Andrea playing for you, afterward, you would talk to Andrea, his English noticeably getting better. And sometimes he would even be a bit of a flirt. So one day you just asked the sisters if they would allow you to take him into town. You did your best to sound as friendly as possible and it seemingly worked.

You showed him a few of your favorite places, took him dancing to the pub. Though he wasn't a very good dancer, you had to kind of show him. Guiding his hands to land on your hips and pull you close, telling him to watch your feet as he got red because honestly he couldn't help but stare at your face. 

Then finally he asked to see your home. And you couldn't help be nervous, he had been making eyes at you all day, smirking like a cat with cunning eyes. Like he had so much more in that head of his, thoughts that he wasn't sharing. Plus he was already holding hands with you, keeping you close to him as he kept calling you ‘Liebling.’ And of course you didn't refuse him, not at all. So by the time, you were halfway up the path on the mountain and he slowly stopped walking, staring at you with a sweet smile. 

“Something the matter Andrea?” you questioned- confused as to why he had stopped. He moved slowly, stepping closer to you, leaning in, quickly pressing a kiss to your cheek. Then backing away, checking your eyes for permission. You nodded and Andrea knitted his brows together, exhaling through his nose as he slowly moved to press a kiss to your other cheek. Gently. Wonderfully. Then your forehead. The tip of your nose, then finally his mouth hovered over your own. Breath shaking with feverish anticipation.

You ached to lean in and finish what he started, but you wanted to see if Andrea would do it himself, and after about 5 nervous seconds you felt him roughly slot his lips against your own.

You were lost, blindly lost to pleasure and yearning. You barely realized the way you pulled him up the hill, mouths slotted together as you rushed backward, your back soon up against your door, your hands at his waistband, he moaned against your mouth.

And soon enough you were turned around and inside and he was walking backward as you led him to your bed. Pushing against his chest as he sat and you climbed his lap. Kissing him so harshly you felt your teeth clink against his own, embarrassed you pulled back, your hand coming to your lips. 

“I apologize, Andrea-” You were breathless, with shy eyes and flushed cheeks. 

He looked the same, though less embarrassed. More lustful than anything. 

“No, no-” He started softly. “You are wonderful.” He spoke slowly, catching your eyes as he brushed your hair out of your face with his thumbs. Putting a strand of hair behind your ear lovingly. 

“But...I need-” He started up again, and he groaned out, almost a whimper really, like he was in pain and that's when you felt something poke against your inner thigh, and then you understood. You ground forward and watched as his mouth fell open. Andreas eyebrows furrowing, his face growing red, a moan caught in his throat.

“Oh, you wonderful creature.” You mused. Almost amazed at the power you held over him. So you did it again and again until he was begging for you to let him cum. 

“Please...Please (y/n)-” He buried his face into your neck, his large hands on your waist, fingers digging in deeply, his shoulders going tense at your dry humping. 

A part of you was nervous honestly. You didn't know if Andrea was also a virgin, but judging by his closeness already ...you were gonna bet on the fact he was, but then again you didn't know what you were doing anyway. 

So instead, you simply stopped. And he stopped breathing. He was frozen actually, and you wondered why, a part of you wanted to laugh, he was curled up into you, unmoving, holding you. 

“Andrea?” you questioned and finally he moved, looking up at you, 

“I do something wrong?” he slowly drawled out, voice tiny and nervous and you shook your head. “No, of course not I just...have you ever done this before?” It was your turn to be tiny and nervous now, especially self-conscious. 

He gulped, Andrea understood. And he slowly shook his head ‘no’

“I'm sorry,” he whispered and it almost broke your heart. 

“Oh my love, no! You have nothing to be sorry for. I have never...done this... either. So it's okay Andrea. And...and honestly, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to.” You cupped his face, giving him a warm smile and he returned one. Slowly pressing a kiss to your lips. 

“I want you.” He whispered after breaking the kiss barely. 

And that was all you needed to push him back on the bed so he was laying down. You climbed atop him, undoing his pants slowly. He raised himself on his elbows, watching you, breathing heavy, eyes flickering back and forth between you and your hands. 

And suddenly he took your hand, putting it away from him. Softly and gently and lovingly.  “first you. Let me...help.” He muttered, looking to you for permission and so you switched roles and he was helping you undress from your light dress. 

And you were naked and self-conscious and nervous in front of him. 

But he was smiling, eyes running over your perfect form. You were perfect to him, everything about you, even the things you considered a flaw, he would reach out, brushing his fingertips lightly over them. He muttered how you were beautiful before reaching with both hands to your thighs. Parting them slowly, gently as all his movements were. 

He slowly moved off the bed, to his knees as he pulled you to the edge of the bed, your legs over his shoulder, his eyes on yours, looking up to you the entire time. Your hands gripped the blankets harshly and nervously. But you nodded at him and he leaned forward, delving his tongue over your entrance. And you moaned, the feeling making you throw your head back. 

And he did it again, though opening his mouth even wider, taking you into his mouth, his tongue lapping up your wetness. Moving up to run over your clit. And you shivered, sensitive all over. 

He realized that was the spot, so he did it once more and got the same reaction, actually an even bigger one. Your back was beginning to arch. Toes curling. 

And he kept eating you out- tongue sometimes delving into you, into your warmth and he would moan against your wetness and heat. Eyelashes fluttering and closing as you would spread your legs further, pushing your cunt against his mouth- thighs shaking and quivering as you felt a knot of heat in your lower stomach slowly coming closer and growing bigger. And finally you were gripping his hair, pulling as he whimpered against you. 

“Oh Andrea- Andrea Im so- Im going to-” You could barely get a full comprehensible sentence out before your thighs were convulsing around his head and your back arching and a loud moan was drawn out from deep within you moaning- screaming his name as a intense orgasm slapped you right across the face, and god- you were exhausted in all honesty. You even fell back on the bed, his tongue still on you though as if he couldn't get enough, nose sometimes even nudging up against your clit as he hungrily and greedily tasted everything in you. 

And as much as it was amazing soon you were becoming over sensitive and with each lick and moan of his against your pussy you were being shocked, body twitching and you pulled back, breathless, a mess for a lack of a better term. 

And you began to chuckle as well as he rose up now, smirking at you, his lips and chin, all slick with your wetness and his own spit. And you grinned right back at him, and pulled him down to meet your mouth as you kissed him, without a care in the world. It was almost satisfying to taste yourself on Andreas tongue. 

But finally you broke the kiss, cupping his face as you knew what came next. “Your turn my love.” You muttered. Sitting up now as you went for his belt, undoing it slowly, hoping he wouldn't stop you again. Though it was worth it last time. But he allowed you to- Andrea even began unbuttoning his shirt. Throwing it to the floor along with your dress, as you followed up with taking off his belt and pulling the pants away- his cock finally free and hard. Fully upright, beads of pre-cum forming at his reddened tip. He was so desperate, it was clear in his expression. Mouth slightly agape as he watched you. 

You thought for a moment, wondering on what you should do now. On what position and honestly how all of this was gonna go. A part of you was scared as you shuffled back on the bed, and patted the space beside you, signaling him to come be by you, but first he began shuffling out of his shoes, then along with his pants until he was fully naked. The look on his face signaling he didn't want you to feel self conscious with him being half clothed, so he decided he too would be fully undressed for this.  He moved beside you now, huffing out a short breath, nervous. It was clear so you pulled him close, kissing his jawline softly.  “Lets go slow, yes?” You mumbled to him softly. He looked up at you, shoulders tense as he nodded. “Yes mien Liebling.” he whispered back, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he furrowed his brows again for you were laying back now, resting your head on the pillow as you slightly spread your legs for him to fit in between. So he moved to lean over you, head of his cock teasing against your lower belly softly, it made him whimper as you couldn't help but giggle as you looked up to him, he looked beautiful this way.  “Should I- uhm..” he stuttered, cheeks burning red as he lowered himself slightly, trying to align himself with your entrance.  “Yes Andrea- go ahead.” You bit at your lower lip, eyes gazing as he closed his eyes, throbbing tip budding at your opening, he pushed his hips forward, his tip sliding in before it slipped upwards, you really were that tight- though you felt bad, for if you were more relaxed it would've gone in easier. “I apologize-” you mutter, exhaling shakily but he shakes his head.  “No- not your fault.” Andrea shares a calming smile, his eyes shining as he looks deeply into your eyes.  “I try again.” he reassured and positioned his cock to your entrance once more, this time sliding it in your slickness and heat easily. You held your breath, feeling him stretch you wide, Andrea on the other hand groaned out, whimpered as his head fell into the crook of your neck. You couldn't imagine how sensitive he must be at the moment.  He kept sliding in until he couldn't anymore, and he filled you to the brim, you felt so full and couldn't help but moan softly, your hands going to the back of his nape, playing with his hair, twirling it around your fingers, admiring the feeling of his warm body atop of yours, holding you. he stayed still, immediately understanding you would need some time to adjust. So you two stayed still, breathing and trying to figure this all out, he lifted his head, and you just stared at him until the two of you broke into small laughter. Warm chuckles filling the air around you, and you caught his lips softly, he laughed into your mouth even- so shy and nervous, Andrea couldn't help it. But after a minute of kissing and nervously giggling you finally felt ready. You broke the warm kiss. And caught his eyes. “Andrea I think I'm ready...move...please?” You muttered shyly- you didn't want to sound demanding but were soon relived when he just smiled at you. Giving you a look as to say “of course.”  And he pulled out halfway, inhaling deeply as he then slid back in setting up a pace, not to fast not to slow, just right honestly. And that's when you felt the pleasure slowly beginning to take over the slight discomfort. When he soon began pumping into you like a animal in heat. You moaned his name over and over, arching your back as you watched his face turn desperate. He would mutter in polish and German. whispering into your ear and you couldn't help but scratch at his back. He changed his angle slightly, cock hitting your g-spot. 

“Oh! Oh Andrea you- oh fuck.” You cursed, closing your eyes. “Yes harder please.” you moaned out, feverishly. Everything felt so hot, you were even sweating across your forehead slightly.  And he did as you commanded, pushing harder, fucking into you, moaning brokenly each time he pushed in. The squeeze of your pussy around him making him lightheaded even. He dropped his head to your chest eventually. Tongue finding its way to your nipple. Opening wide and sucking on your breast. And you felt so sensitive, everything overwhelming you but in the best way possible. 

“Oh yes, yes-” you chanted, breathless and suddenly wrapped your thighs around him, flipping the two of you over so you were on top, he gasped- eyes wide as he looked to you, his face becoming flushed once more- the sight of him was enough to push you to the edge as you began to bounce on his cock, suddenly reaching you climax, steadying yourself by putting your hands to Andreas chest- your back arching as you clenched around his cock, falling forward now- pushing your lips together. 

He kept thrusting into you though- desperate to cum inside, “Please- please.” He begged for release, closing his eyes as you groaned softly, your insides sensitive as you sat back up, and it only took 2 bounces on his cock for Andrea to be moaning out your name- as he gripped your thighs and soon you felt his warm seed fill you up, he whimpered and fucked into you harshly now- sitting up and pulling you close, fitting his mouth over your tit to muffle the shameful sounds spilling out of him. 

As he fucked through his climax he soon began to slow down, exhausted as you moaned- feeling him suck your nipples softly now, closing his eyes as his breathing calmed. 

You ran your fingers through his hair softly. Kissing the top of his head- satisfied now and he now popped off your tit, lips a bright color that matched his cheeks. He smiled at you and you grinned back, pressing a kiss to his nose. You raised yourself off of him, and you felt his warm seed inside of you, you adored the feeling as you rolled off and laid down- he lowered himself to be by you. 

“You were amazing Andrea- absolutely wonderful.” You sighed softly as his hand reached your stomach, drawing invisible lines with his fingers over the soft skin. Andrea shyly smiled now. “Danke.” he whispered in German, you knew what it meant and chuckled softly. 

“Im sleepy.” you whispered, and it was true- your eyes were heavy and Andrea nodded. “Sleep.” he kissed your cheek warmly. And so you did, you fell asleep to him cuddled beside you, humming a tune that was familiar to you. 

#Daniel Bruhl #daniel brühl #Ladies in Lavender #Andrea Marowski #andrea marowski x reader #loss of virginity #first time on tumblr #this is so soft pls #hope you enjoy this oneshot guys #sorry it took so fckin long

[minecraftoworymode]

picked a whole bouquet of whoopsie-daisies the other day reading some Very badfeel content so to cheer myself up here’s some super self-indulgent ramblings about romeo recovery post-s2

“YOU CAN DANCE IF YOU WANT TO YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY BEHIND” or how romeo learned to stop worrying and indulge in the ““feminine”“ shit in life

when romeo transitioned he scrubbed everything that could be potentially viewed as feminine from his appearance and behaviour. while he did everything he could about the former (hairstyle, clothing, body language, voice), it didn’t feel like enough bc he couldn’t change some things that ppl used to be jerks- his frame (short and lithe), his family, his being trans- so he made up for it by trying to “act” like a “real man”. this unfortunately meant he was super vulnerable to manipulative alt-right indoctrination tactics (”we will validate you as a man as long as you endorse our assholery and share our shitty beliefs about what it means to be a man”) and he was on the verge of getting sucked into gamergate ideology when [THIS LORE IS ANOTHER POST] and hey, now the world is minecraft. u dont gotta perform gender roles for villagers they dont care. xara will not only actually eat ur liver for pulling The Bullshit but when you are kind she smiles, so bright and warm, and it is very very nice so maybe you should keep on doing that. n fred? fred is chill with their Everything in a way uve only ever Dreamed of. romeo marinates in this sauce for a couple centuries and comes the closest to being comfortable in his own skin he’s ever been.

however,

after the Incident he slam-dunked himself back into the hypermasculinity juice bc it was a mindset “safe” from feeling pain, whether his or others’. n since the worlds the admins created dont have the same ideas of gender as the world they came from, once he’s been dethroned romeo has a particularly hard time adjusting wrt That on top of all the other 2750347502730 issues he has to face

anyway flash forward a couple months of being incredibly volatile bc he now has to confront all the terrible things he did and how Dare u make him do that and maybe if hes nasty enough he can provoke someone into killing him and saving him from having to unpack All Of That- (note from @simple-mooshroom-herder​: Xara and Jesse at least grasp that Romeo will probably burn himself out on this bullshit eventually and the best thing to do is interact with him with a certain level of healthy detachment. Eventually he'll see that theres no "getting out of this" and he'll start to do the Work but until then its very frustrating to see that tactic take him nowhere.)

- one day petra notices how he’s constantly staring at all the ppl wearing cute dresses in beacontown and at first she thinks he's being creepy but then realizes that he's not being creepy and actually she knows exactly how he feels bc she also used to look at ppl wearing clothes super not suited for combat like that, like she wished she could wear them too, like if she just didnt have to keep up this image of the Warrior who is Not Soft Ever-

n ok. listen. these worlds have been specifically engineered to be better and kinder than the one the admins came from, and when people mess up- even REALLY mess up- people are generally not only willing to forgive you but support you as you try and get better. it’s instinctual for communities to respond to misdeeds with rehabilitation and reconciliation, rather than retaliation and renunciation (tho its not an overnight thing and it generally takes 1-3 people to spearhead the process, esp if the actions have affected a large group of people). like. ivor created something that almost destroyed the entire world, not just beacontown, yet by the end of season one he’s grown to be a part of the team- n its not just jesse & co being forgiving here, bc when ivor made his s1 build with 3 lava source blocks people objected to it, but by s2 he not only has lava in his build but a giant lake of it. (im assuming the fences around said lake are coming eventually, bc safety is still important, but the implications im choosing to take from this are a) despite almost ending the world people let him into their lives anyway and b) the community not only grew to accept but encourage his self-expression.)

BUT ANYWAY before i go off on that even more one day petra and romeo basically put on an impromptu fashion show in jesse’s house (bc their house is huge and, kind of perfect for a fashion show, and also right next to the order hall’s armory whence they stole a bunch of fancy swords to match the outfits) n theyre having a blast until the hero in residence , returns to their residence (and with COMPANY) n romeo is absolutely Mortified- caught red-handed showing feelings of an almost human nature, oh my god, this will NOT do- n this whole grand soliluquy of shame and excuses and apologies grabs the steering wheel of his tongue but he cant even spit a single syllable out bc jesse and lukas almost immediately dip leaving romeo panicking for a second before they come back with their inventories FULL of cute outfits, including a billion skirts and dresses, some of them are even enchanted so theyre like. super shiny or constantly flowing or things like that.

this actually ends up spiralling into a town-wide... not quite fashion show bc there's no runway or anything, everyone just shows up in their cutest/coolest outfits .. fashion convention?? Anyway several people come up to him and compliment him on his outfit casually before continuing along, not recognizing him not only bc of how hes done his hair and makeup n what hes wearing but he just seems... so happy (he might be wearing something on his head? like a headpiece or hat or something? but also maybe not hmm)- whoever this is, he's not hunched over like he's got several centuries' worth of sins crawling on his back he’s not trying to shrink and make small a human-shaped apology for the simple fact of his existence not dragging his feet like hes ready for, dreading, a hundred mile trek through the desert repenting hes just. hes literally just Vibing

anyway he's mostly been silent or just providing very quiet "thank you"s but when it turns out that some people showed up ready to play music and there's a song that he knows he literally cant help but start jamming out its the GOod Stim everyones a-dancing and a-jiving and some people start to sing and so of course he does too (the healing power of dancing and singing in cute outfits.... unfathomable) but. ppl recognize his voice

and after a few seconds he notices how quiet it's gotten all of a sudden n everyones looking at him like "oh shit thats the admin" and honestly his heart breaks. visibly

but

then someone starts singing, so quiet it takes a moment for him to hear over the sound of an encroaching panic attack (oh god he has airpods in), but when he looks over theyre smiling - theyre smiling at hiM???? AND IT DOESNT EVEN LOOK MEAN??- and doing this very simple step, that he catches onto just as easily as he matches their singing (its a fairly common little tune n dance)

theyre like standing like a good few meters away but as they take turns with lines in the song they slowly inch closer

and he thinks hes starting to recognize the dance that the steps theyre doing is from but at the part in the song thats coming up ur supposed to allemande left and even tho theyre like, less than a meter away now literally no one has really wanted to get close to him, let alone actually touch him, so hes totally expecting them to be like 'psych' and humiliate him in front of the entire crowd-

BUT THEN THEY ACTUALLY GO FOR IT???

he completes the step without even thinking about it n continues onto the next in this state of dull bewilderment where there is but one braincell active in his head and it is just going, in a very tiny voice, "danser?"

- when they linked arms the person briefly seemed surprised that he didn't like, chew their arm off or anything (he had. kind of snapped at people a few times during the past few weeks), but then their shock turned into a wide smile and they sort of- nodded? at someone over his shoulder like 'come and join us, it doesn't look like he's going to kill me after all you guys can put the eulogy writing on hold'

what rly makes his heart do the confused and hopeful conga is that this isnt even anyone romeo knows, its a total stranger. or- like- he saw them while he was pretending to be jesse he just didnt care to get to know them beyond ‘name and gimmick’- its not even someone who has any reason to think he'd be cool to befriend its literally jsut someone taking a chance on him (tkae a chance take a chance take a chance take a cha)

afterwards hes like "i should thank jesse for putting you up to that, it was fun" and theyre like "what? jesse didn't "put me up to" anything, dude, you just looked super choked. * something something surfer lingo who would i be if i just left someone to feel bad when they could be having fun dancing you know?*"

he H

#ng+ #msg #i said this was super self-indulgent and i was not lying #i call ng+ my mcsm project and thats literal

[spin-birdie]

there was a conversation in the rk1k discord about a spiderman au a while back and i decided to try write something about it bc its consuming like 30% of my brain

idk if i’ll write more (im way better at writing ideas down as bullet points instead of prose) but man it just seems like a neat idea idk

word count: 1.6k

pairing: general

additional tags: human au, physical violence, gavin is an unsympathetic rat boy

Look, Connor considers himself a calm person. He’s level-headed at the best of times. But he’s pretty sure even the calmest person would panic at least a little if they got stuck to their bedroom wall.

One hand is completely splayed out on the ceiling, the other one still stuck to his sneaker. His feet aren’t quite flat on the ceiling, but he certainly wouldn’t have a comfortable fall if he stopped sticking to everything. Why he’s sticking to everything, he still doesn’t know.

He doesn’t know why anything that’s happened to him today has happened; he grew a good three inches taller overnight, he accidentally stuck to his biology textbook - and subsequently tore it to shreds - this morning, and it’s like he’s jumping at the slightest provocation. There’s been a foul taste in his mouth all day, and he swears he somehow burned a piece of paper he chewed on, but he hasn’t got a fever. It doesn’t make any sense.

Even so, the thought sends Connor’s anxiety through the roof…more to the point, his anxiety is making him stick to the fucking roof.

For no good reason, he keeps thinking about yesterday. The field trip to the CyberLife Lab, the spider that crawled onto his hand and left him a painful, bruising bite. The tour guide said something about the experiments they were running on arachnids and other small animals, genetically enhancing them with nanobots in an attempt to slow or prevent extinction, or…something. But that doesn’t make sense. There’s no way to confirm the effects are transmittable to humans.

It’s probably not helping him at all to scream his head off, but he’s not sure what else he can do. He’s pulling his hand away from the ceiling as hard as he can, even trying to pry it off with the sneaker in his other hand, but it’s not working. He’s just putting more cracks in the paint.

He can’t see the door opening from his angle, but he hears it, followed by his dad’s voice: “Connor, are you o-- What the fuck?!”

At the same time as his dad swears, Connor finally frees his hand with a startled yelp. Drywall flakes off with it, but it doesn’t quite fall into his face before his entire upper body falls down with nothing to hold it up. The upside-down view of his room, of his dad’s confused and horrified expression, makes Connor nauseous.

And just a second too late, it strikes him that he’s hanging from the ceiling of an old house by nothing but the balls of his feet. With a dull crunch, the drywall above him gives out and he plummets to the floor. Connor’s fall is half-broken by his bed, but his knees land straight on the floor. Carpet be damned, it’s a rough landing.

And now there’s a perfect handprint of missing drywall on Connor’s ceiling.

---

Okay. So maybe Connor has unhuman abilities thanks to a genetically altered spider. That’s fine, probably. Kind of. Once he figures out how to ignore them, everything can go back to normal.

And for a few weeks, it’s almost like Connor gets away with telling himself that blatant lie. Ignoring them during school is hard and stressful, but at home, he’s free to throw theories (and himself) at the wall to see what sticks; and once he’s done that, he knows how to avoid triggering them. It gets a little bit easier to stop sticking to everything, to stop burning whatever enters his mouth or visibly jumping whenever something sets off his fight-or-flight reflex.

Maybe it’s a smarter idea to tell someone. Or maybe telling someone would be the fastest way to be locked up in a government facility and experimented on until someone wrote a book about him. Or maybe he’s being paranoid, but still, Connor has a bad feeling that he doesn’t want anyone to know what’s happening to him. And apart from his poor father, no one seems to know.

“Hey, jackass! I’m talking to you!”

That might change if this guy doesn’t leave him alone, though. Connor’s sharpened foresight allows him to step out of Gavin’s reach before he can grab Connor by the back of his sweatshirt. Instead of turning back to face Gavin, he pulls up his hood and keeps walking as fast as he can without looking conspicuous.

Gavin reaches out again, successfully pulling Connor back by his backpack. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

As Connor is forcefully spun around, he barely stops himself from glaring. “I’m pretty sure I’m not. And I’m pretty sure this isn’t even the way to your house, so you ought to turn back and go home.”

Predictably, Gavin ignores him. “Don’t play coy. You promised to help me out with exams, remember? I just need your English notes; I’ll bring them back safe and sound tomorrow, alright?”

“When I promised to help you, I thought that meant tutoring you. I’m not letting you copy my notes. Especially if you’re copying them word-for-word.”

“That was one time--”

“If you don’t want to listen in class, that’s your own problem.” Connor can’t quite stop spite creeping into his voice when he continues: “I’m not letting you get us both in trouble just because you don’t want to stop being an asshole.”

“Watch the tone, robot,” Gavin sneers.

“If you literally ever watched your own, I’d consider it. Instead, you have to waste all your energy on being the biggest dickhead on the planet and pretending you’re not just like every other mediocre straight guy ever.”

He shrugs Gavin off and steps back. “Ask someone else for help. I’m done talking to you.”

That proves to have gone too far as soon as Gavin shoves Connor back into the wall of a nearby building. His backpack stops his body from colliding at full force, but his head still gets knocked pretty hard. Right before Connor recovers, Gavin moves forward and punches him straight in the diaphragm. He doubles over for a moment before Gavin grabs him by the jaw and shoves his head back against the wall.

“Alright, smartass! I’ll give you one more opportunity to do this the easy way.”

It dawns on Connor just then; they’re alone. Connor is the only kid who goes home this way, and he doesn’t live in the nicest part of town. At school, there are always witnesses, no way for people to get away with beating each other up for very long. Out here, people probably won’t step in unless Connor runs for help, and he’s not sure if he can get away fast enough. At least, not without setting off his powers.

Connor bares his teeth. “Smartass this, retard that, do you even know my real name? Is your brain that small?”

Gavin hits him in the stomach again. And again. Connor thinks he hits a kidney on the third strike. And then he makes a snap decision, jerking his head to the side and biting down, hard, on Gavin’s finger.

“Ow, what the fuck?! Ow!”

Gavin recoils, clutching his hand like it’s on fire. Connor didn’t expect such a strong response, but he’s just glad he hasn’t got his back against a wall, and he wants to keep it that way. Without thinking, Connor grabs Gavin by the ears and headbutts him with all the force he can muster.

He promptly realizes a human skull is harder than he thought, so he hurts himself just as much as he hurts Gavin. And he’s within range for Gavin to reel back and knee him directly in the groin. As he curls in on himself, Gavin throws him to the ground and kicks him again in the stomach. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

He doesn’t stop, he even kicks and stomps on Connor’s ribs and face a few times for good measure. There’s blood in his mouth, and he’s not 100% sure it’s Gavin’s. He pulls his hood all the way over his face in an attempt to protect himself.

And a few moments later, it abruptly stops. Gavin breathes like he’s tired, but he’s not kicking Connor anymore.

“What are you doing?!” an unknown voice shouts. “Leave them alone!”

Gavin swears through gritted teeth, and Connor hears footsteps sprinting away. He doesn’t get up. The newcomer murmurs under his breath - their? It’s a masculine voice, at least - before more steps are heard. A hand rests on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

It takes Connor a few moments to find his voice. In the meantime, he drags himself into a sitting position, wincing at the pain. He’s definitely going to have some spectacular bruises, and that’s a best-case scenario. “I think so,” he grits out.

“Can you tell me your name?”

Connor lifts his hood enough to look at the stranger. A tall guy with tawny skin, who looks to be a little older than Connor. His head is shaved, but there’s a ghost of stubble on his jaw. His eyes are heterochromatic, focused intently on Connor even as he not-too-subtly gawks at the stranger’s arms. He’s obviously athletic, and the tank top he’s wearing doesn’t leave a lot to the imagination.

Oh, right. Still bi.

And still in immense physical pain. Connor leans over and cradles some of the worse pain spots. “I’m Connor.”

“Markus,” the stranger replies.

Something feels amiss all of a sudden. It’s close to that distinct feeling Connor gets when he’s in danger, but there’s something off about it. It’s pulling him towards something instead of away; towards Markus, specifically. Some unheard epiphany is pulling at the corners of Connor’s mind, stronger and stronger until it snaps. Almost simultaneously, they speak:

“You’re like me…”

#dbh #detroit become human #rk1k #rk1000 #fanfiction #original #spiderman au

[their-name-is-morgan]

Ok b so like, I'm gonna try to make this sort of specific, I live for some angst and I live for Abba so like.... Imagine Abba being in one of those days where he just feels like garbage , but then his nice softie s/o visits him and cheers him up and gives him luv bc uwuwuwu. im so awkward at writing this, anyways, it's a scenario if thats ok with u b, and the s/o is a female.

AAAAH B I tried my best to make this turn out decent!! I feel like Leo is extremely OOC and there might be some mistakes here and there, but it’s late and I’m tired...so I’ll fix this in the morning! ;;

I hope you enjoy it anyway, ilysm❤

Il loro segreto

Leone Abbacchio x Fem!Reader❤

Everyone has bad days, and everyone faces them in a different way. There are people like Bruno: he would try his best to help other people overcome their struggles, and seeing their smiling face would make him feel better in an instant. There are people like Fugo: he would allow himself to have a day off, and he’d spend that day doing his favourite things, talking to his favourite people, or even staying alone. And then there are people like Abbacchio.

Leone was a man of few words, he would talk when necessary, and he wasn’t the nicest member of the gang. His face appeared to be in an eternal scowl, with his dark, thin eyebrows furrowed and his lips rarely lifting upwards. One would think that he was a strong, confident man whose only emotions were anger and disgust, but there’s always more to a person than what they let the others see.

Abbacchio was like any other person: some of his days were happy, other ones boring, and other ones bad, upsetting days. On the latter he would isolate himself and even refuse to get out of his bed, too mentally exhausted to interact with other people. He would push them away, and then he’d feel guilty about it. His lips would quiver and his eyes would water, but he’d hold it in.

And that day was one of those days.

(Name) exhaled, her eyes fixed on the last message he had sent: “See you at 9” with a black heart at the end. ‘Edgy’ she thought with a chuckle, but the small smile on her face disappeared as soon as it came. They had agreed on meeting quite early in the morning and, when she noticed that it was pouring outside but his last access remained the same as the previous night’s, she had guessed that the rain wouldn’t have been a problem for him either.

But after an hour of waiting for his arrival in front of the smallest, saddest bookstore in town, she came to a sudden realization: what if something was wrong?

Was he okay? Was the rest of the gang okay? Was her phone being dumb and not showing her his true last messages? She needed to know. She was about to stand up and open her umbrella when she noticed a notification from a different chat: Bruno had just texted her.

‘Would you mind coming over? I know this is sudden, but there’s somebody here who needs you.’ The text read, and her expression twisted into one of concern. It wasn’t the first time that she received a text like that, from either the Capo –whom she considered one of her closest friends- or another one of the guys, and it was not a pleasant thing to read.

She didn’t even bother to reply, instead she started walking towards the Passione residence, which was not that far away from that spot. The rain didn’t stop, making her almost trip at least twice along the way, but she was determined to see her lover’s face and hold him as close as possible.

It didn’t take that long before three knocks on the door snapped Bruno out of his trance; he stood up and made his way to the front door, abandoning the crossword puzzled he had been trying to complete for the past forty minutes on the wooden table.

He slowly opened the door to reveal his friend, umbrella in her right hand and phone in the other, her eyebrows slightly furrowed but a polite smile still present on her face. He motioned to come in and guided her to the couch, where they both sat down;

“So, what happened?” she asked, fidgeting with her hands. He let out a sigh,

“I...will keep it short. You know how Leone can get and now I know he needs extra support that I can’t give him. But please remember, cara; if this is too much for you, if he somehow hurts you with his words or actions...” he paused, cautiously choosing what to say next, “It’s not worth it. He is my friend, but you are too and I wouldn’t want you to think that I agree with everything he says or does.”

She carefully listened, her expression concentrated. She warmly smiled as he finished talking and took his larger hands in hers, grateful for having such a caring and honest friend.

“Bruno, I will follow your advice if anything happens. But I’m pretty sure it won’t,” she reassured him, and he nodded and returned the smile, “Now, he hasn’t left his room has he?”

“He’s been in there since yesterday night. He’d making all of us very worried, (Name).” He confessed, his tone of voice sincere. The girl could only nod and direct her gaze on the flight of stairs leading up to the second floor, where the bedrooms were located.

 Unmade bed, window shut, blankets and dirty clothes lazily piled up in a corner of the barely lit room. The smell not bad enough to be unbearable, but enough to make one’s nose wrinkle. The pitter patter of the rain soothed him, but unnerved him at the same time. Was it even possible to feel in such a way?

He sat there, intently staring at the blank, boring wall as if it was the most interesting thing. What else could he have done in his state after all? With his headphones too far away to reach and the overwhelming fatigue that didn’t seem willing to leave him anytime soon, he could only lose heart and sit there, with his back against the bed’s headboard.

His almost lifeless gaze fell upon his phone, which had been resting on his nightstand since the previous night. A feeling of guilt struck him at the thought that he hadn’t shown up for his and (Name)’s date, his chest tightening and a lump forming in his throat. No, he couldn’t cry. What was the point of crying anyway? His eyes alarmingly watered, salty tears threatening to roll down his pale cheeks; he tried to focus on breathing, when a soft, almost inaudible knock made his grip on the thin blanket covering his legs tighten and his eyebrows furrow.

No. He thought, his heart beating faster. Fuck, leave.

Silence. But then, another knock, this time a little bit louder. Who was it, and what did they want? He had harshly declined Bruno’s help earlier that morning, and made it clear that he didn’t want any of the other guys around. Watching Bruno retrieve his hand at his commanding voice made him regret his actions, but then again. What was he expecting from himself?

With his gaze fixed on the door, he flinched when he heard the voice of the person behind it.

“Leo?”

I don’t deserve you. He thought once again, his eyes burning. He suddenly became aware of the state he was in, with his normally silky hair now messy and tangled, tied in a low ponytail, no sign of makeup on his ghost white face, and his embarrassing attire composed by an old, short sleeved shirt –obviously too large for him- and a pair of grey night shorts, his legs exposed and, much to his regret, hairy.

“Leone, I just want to know if you’re okay-“

“I am, now leave.” Please, he wanted to add, before I say something I’ll regret.

He could feel her sighing, trying to come up with something to tell him that could’ve comforted him. But what exactly could’ve possibly made him happier? He had tried to think of something, to do something, but it only ended up hurting him more, making him lay back down, exhausted and ashamed of himself. Just the thought of it made him stomach turn, the thought of his beloved waiting for him under the pouring rain whilst he was laying in bed, frustrated... melancholic.

“Please tell me if there’s something I can do to make you feel better. I know you’re lying, but it’s okay,” a pause. Then shuffling, and the doorknob moved a little, “Can I come in, Tesoro?” she asked. Little did she know that the man was trying his hardest not to break down there, in that exact moment. Or did she? She’d never seen him or talked to him while he was in such a state, usually he would be angry and frustrated, drinking his pain away in the kitchen in the middle of the night, or even in a bar.

Silence means consent, she thought –as much as that sentence could’ve been wrong-, and she dared to open the door, moderately illuminating the chaotic room. He froze, not really sure what to do, if to yell at them or to gather all his strength to stand up and lock the door completely. But he simply stayed still, his chest rising and falling with every shaky breath he took.

“What are you doing here,” he asked, his words ended up sounding more like a statement, though. She slowly stepped inside, her gaze falling upon her handsome boyfriend’s body, partially covered by a thin, cream coloured blanket.

“I’m here to listen to you, what’s going on Leone?” she asked, slowly stepping closer to his bed. He eyed her for a moment, his eyes softening. He wanted to be mad and make her leave, he really did, she wasn’t supposed to see him like this and he deserved to suffer alone. He deserved to listen to all the horrible thoughts that his mind was full of, obsess over them.

He gasped at the light touch of her hand, which was now softly holding his, his long, bony fingers subconsciously intertwining with hers. That simple touch sent a wave of butterflies through his veins, making him shake and choke back a sob.

(Name) promptly took notice of this and sat down beside him, her eyes kind and a warm, welcoming smile on her face.

“You can cry, it’s okay to. Please look at me,” and he did, with tears finally spilling down his face, his cheeks flushed and the muscles of his chin trembling, making his lips quiver. His right hand clutched at hers as if his life depended on it, while his left was clenched in a fist, the knuckles slowly going white. (Name) worriedly moved closer to him, letting her free hand wander behind his head to untie his hair and run her fingers through it.

Tell me everything.

“I am... I don’t know. Fuck, I don’t deserve you-“ a stifled sob, and then he sharply inhaled, “You were waiting for me, but I was here. Being a useless dick even if they wanted to help. I just...” he suddenly stopped, allowing smaller sobs to escape from his parted, soft lips. The girl moved her hand from his hair to his back, pulling him closer so that his head could rest on her shoulder.

Slightly embarrassed by this position as she was the one usually laying her head on his shoulder, he tried to pull away, but her soothing touch and whispers sent a shiver up his spine and made him hold onto her for dear life, weeping and babbling about how he didn’t deserve her, about how he would miss her though if she left, and she thought she heard him say I’m sorry once or twice –and he’d rarely apologize-.

(Name) held him tight, noticing how quiet he was even while shaking and sobbing almost uncontrollably, wetting her cute, slightly elegant shirt. Not that she cared anyway, he was much more important than a stupid shirt.  

“Leo,” she whispered at some point, making him blink, more tears rolling down his reddened cheeks, “You deserve so much and you don’t even realize it. I know you blame yourself for a lot of things...” he raised his head, his hair gracefully cascading down his back; their eyes met and (Name) gave him a small smile, which he returned, “But not everything’s your fault.”

He averted his gaze, his breath slowly calming and his shoulders relaxing.

“Hm. Just promise... this whole thing will stay between us,”

She chuckled, and shifted in a more comfortable position so that they could be even closer.

“Of course; now will you eat breakfast with me?”

#jjba #jojo #jojos bizarre adventure #leone abbacchio #abbacchio #jojo abbacchio #abbacchio x reader #vento aureo #golden wind #jojo part 5 #scenario #abbacchio scenario #angst #fluff #fem!reader

[bisexualryder]

Okay dude i’ll bite, can i know more about your trio wardens au ? Like how did they meet ? Who did they romance ? What happens to them after dao ? In da2 ? Dai ? (Sorry im just a huge fan of ocs and i love the wardens)

Ahhh, first off - thank you for asking! I’m happy to gush about my trio of idiots wardens :D Secondly - don’t apologize for asking! I love talking about my OCs, I’m just bad about keeping up with posting and such lately (but hope to fix that soon, especially if I make this extra sideblog). ANYWHO, gonna jump in and apologize now if this gets long, lol.

—

SO I’ll hit romance first since that’s quicker and easier. Rylee and Ise (eventually) become a thing - they’re married by the time DAI rolls around. Typical grumpy asshole falls in love with ray of sunshine and doesn’t want to admit it at first. She tries to play it cool and ends up playing it too cool until she gets some help from the couple companions she befriends (mostly Zev, since Sten doesn’t care that much, but he offers his insight on what qunari do). But they don’t actually, like, really become a romance-y thing until after ghoul!Tamlen shows up and oof that one is painful.

Eleri I… don’t know yet, to be honest. She was a re-imagining of my old Cousland, who romanced Alistair, but with Eleri I’m actually leaning a bit more toward Zevran. But uh, still not sure yet, I’m mad indecisive on this one. tbh even Nate is in the running for her *shrug emoji*

On to the rest!

DA:O

They don’t all join the standard way, I guess, but they do all meet at Ostagar. Ducan officially recruits Rylee and Isethari, Eleri recruits herself, lol.

Rylee is recruited first. Standard Tabris origin there and it’s on the way to Ostagar that they plan to stop and see the Dalish elves and that’s when they find Isethari half-dead in the middle of the woods (it was sheer luck, really). Duncan sends Rylee, carrying the nearly-dead Ise, to the camp and goes to investigate the area. Other than Rylee wandering around the Dalish camp like an awestruck idiot, most of the Mahariel origin is the same. Rylee stays behind in the camp, though, when Ise and co. are sent back to the ruin where they run into Duncan. Once they leave, Rylee earns herself the duty of ensuring that Isethari doesn’t run on their trip to Ostagar, bc let me tell you Ise is not happy about leaving without finding Tamlen.

Now for Eleri, she escapes the castle with only her mabari after her parents sacrifice themselves to buy her time to get out. She manages to make it to the stables for her horse and rides as hard as she can to Ostagar, desperate to find her brother. When she basically gets told that he’s out scouting and she likely won’t see him before the battle, she asks about the wardens and is pointed toward Duncan. At that point, she goes up to him like: “I just slaughtered my way through an army of men trying to assassinate my family. I have nothing left but this dream, please.” He asks clarification, she provides, he eventually agrees and sends her off to gather the other recruits and report back with Alistair. It’s at that point she meets Rylee and Isethari, who are hanging around close together by the quartermaster (after Rylee nearly kills Daveth for hitting on that one woman, you know the one). 

From there up until the start of the fight, it progresses as it normally would in canon. They all get their quest, go out into the wilds, etc. etc. And once they survive the Joining, they have a pre-meeting meeting thing. Alistair and Eleri join the meeting as per canon, and Duncan assigns Rylee and Ise to the remaining warden forces. So from there, canon-typical for Eleri. Go to the tower, light the beacon, get almost killed and then saved by Flemeth, etc.

Rylee and Ise, however, have a much more trying experience. Rylee takes a genlock to the face (claws? blade? idk lmao) for Ise to protect her - this being around the time they can see the battle is going south. Duncan’s already been killed at this point and Ise starts to panic (she hates fighting as it is) and manages to half convince, half drag Rylee from the fighting and they flee the battle to the nearest town (naturally, Lothering). They end up meeting up with Eleri and Alistair (and Morrigan) again and explain what happened from their perspective and then work with Eleri and Alistair to come up with a plan of action.

Eleri takes up the role of warden-commander (since Alistair and Ise don’t want to lead and everyone knows Rylee leading is a Very Bad Idea™).

Uhhh, key highlights of what they do I guess would be:

Sided with the Mages

Irving saved, Uldred dead etc etc

Put Bhelen in power

Branka’s killed

sent Dagna off to study ofc

Sided with the Dalish against the werewolves

two elves with one being Dalish and the other violently racist made it a simple choice for Eleri to lessen a headache later (she had way too much else to worry about than argue with them)

Helped Redcliffe and saved Conner

demon killed w/Jowan’s help (he does the ritual and Morrigan is sent in to yeet the demon out)

Isolde’s alive

side note: didn’t poison the Urn

Anora rules w/ Alistair

Loghain alive & recruited as a warden (recruited post-final fight)

Alistair still performs the ritual with Morrigan

Awakening

Not too much of note here. Rylee is the one that finds Nathaniel, though, and it does not go well for him. It’s only Ise that stays Rylee’s hand from killing him. When they bring him to Eleri, she immediately recruits him when she realizes it’s her old friend. He’s still pretty ticked, but softens about the whole thing a bit when he realizes Eleri is around.

With more wardens, they’re able to more easily protect the Keep and Amaranthine. And the Architect does live (much to Rylee’s great annoyance).

DA2 & DAI

Sometime in here is when Rylee and Ise get married. They have two ceremonies - one in the Denerim alienage to honor Rylee’s culture and then again when they find Ise’s clan outside Kirkwall.

Hawke and co. do run into Ise and Rylee in the Deep Roads during the expedition (as they are canon with Ashley Hawke, there’s not a twin to save). BUT the two of them help Ash and crew gtfo and back safely to Kirkwall. Turns out they saw Bodahn on their way into the Deep Roads to investigate and got a tip to keep an eye out for some lost members of the expedition (the whole leaving suddenly without them thing didn’t sit right with him).

Later on, in that mission where you run into Nate? Eleri’s with him, though doesn’t actually advertise herself as the warden-commander while chatting with Ash. Ash isn’t dumb, though, (not always, at least) and gets a feeling Eleri might be kinda more in charge than she was told. So when wardens start disappearing, she takes a chance and makes contact. It ultimately pays off when Eleri sends Rylee and Ise to help the Inquisition.

During the events of Here Lies the Abyss in Inquisition, it’s Rylee that stays behind to buy everyone time to escape. And, much like when Ise was taken from her clan, she has to be dragged out - this time by the Inquisitor herself (Olivia, for the record) - kicking, screaming, and utterly sobbing that they’re leaving her wife behind.

BUT because fuck canon, Rylee survives and kinda wanders around the raw Fade until she finds another open rift. This ends up dumping her into the ass end of Orlais somewhere and it takes her a while to make her way back to Skyhold, but dammit! She and Ise do get a happy ending. It does take a while though, it really does. And for that duration, Ise doesn’t leave Skyhold for anything after they get her back there. Resigned, more than anything, she usually perches on an empty wall away from the hustle and bustle of the main areas near the stables. She also doesn’t eat much, only what small bits that Cole brings her.

As for Eleri, she - along with Nate, Velanna, and Sigrun - are searching for the cure. And I really haven’t thought much beyond that.

MAN this got long, I hope you don’t mind! I had a lot of fun thinking about this and gushing a bit about my girls and what they do :D So thank you, again, for asking! One day, I think I plan to write something detailing their journey from start to finish in DAO and maybe beyond, but it’d probably be a series of drabbles? I struggle with long fics and flowing from one chapter to the next, but maybe.

#lagawara #taie replies #warden trio au #rylee tabris #eleri cousland #isethari mahariel #rylee hc #ise hc #eleri hc

[okietokiee]

The Song of Achilles/Metalocalypse AU

ahh !! I commissioned a friend of mine (who is an incredible artist and specializes in custom/DnD art!! If you’re interested in her work her etsy is MadisonNicoleArt) and she helped me finally create an AU I’ve been obsessed with for a while!

Ok this is going to be pretty long, so bear with me !!

If you’re not familiar with The Song of Achilles it’s basically a retelling of The Iliad by Homer, but from the perspective of Patroclus, the right-hand man of Achilles. It’s a beautiful, magical tale and if you’re familiar with The Iliad the ending is (spoiler)  gut-wrenching and heartbreaking. You spend the whole story knowing what’s coming, and you almost get lost in the enchanting beauty of Achilles’ and Patroclus’ relationship with each other. 

Now when I first got into the Mtl fandom I was surprised there weren’t any Iliad AUs (BUT CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG AND SEND THAT SHIT MY WAY), because Achilles was a beautiful, golden demi-God (sKWIsGAar in a nutshell LOL) and Patroclus his stong, toned, gorgeous (im extrapolating here but...) right-hand-man/partner/lover/soulmate/other half who, though never prophesied by the Gods for greatness, had his own strengths and made his own name for himself following his heart (Achilles ;))

Here are just some ideas I’ve had about this:

Skwisgaar

- Serveta being a promiscuous Queen who has a one night-stand with a lower level God that left immediately. The God’s seed was so strong that after birthing Skwisgaar his mother became incapable of having any more children and she resents him for this. 

- However, Skwisgaar was prophesied by the Gods to become the greatest/quickest warrier of his time with potential to become one of the Gods. His step-father (gentle Tyr) married Serveta and he loves her dearly, though she constantly cheats on him and neglects her only son. 

- Tyr does his best to make it up to Skwisgaar, but obvious damage has been done.

- Skwisgaar’s real father is never revealed and it’s quite popular in town to make theories about which gorgeous God Skwisgaar is the bastard of. (Adonis is a popular choice)

Toki

- Toki being the only son of the cruel King Aslaug, a malevolent leader of a deteriorating village. Toki is a small/weak boy for his age and is constantly beaten, belittled, and humiliated by his father, and therefore has no respect from the village people despite being the rightful heir. 

- He ends up accidentally killing a young bully his age (son of a noble man) in blind rage because he has certain freak episodes (episodes that likely led to his parents fearing/hating him??). (This is almost exactly what happened to Patroclus in TSOA) 

- He’ s exiled from his home, loses his family name, and is sent to be a ward of King Tyr and lives with various other abandoned orphans/exiled princes in Skwisgaar’s father’s rich, plentiful kingdom. 

NOW the fantastic slow-burn begins. Because Toki can’t seem to fit in with the other boys and there are constant rumors about how he beat a kid to death for such petty reasons and the rest of the kids are scared of him and keep their distance. 

aLL BUT SKWISGAAR! (and fuck i keep almost writing Achilles)

Who finds the new foreign boy utterly fascinating and is inexplicably drawn to him. 

Skwisgaar is obviously popular with the fellow boys for he is a tall, strong child destined for greatness, and he basks in this fact. 

Now I see Skwisgaar skipping training/class to wander off and play with a golden lyre in some hidden spot in the nearby woods.

The same spot Toki escapes to to avoid the blatant stares and loneliness. He’s shocked for a moment to see the golden prince lounging serenely on his favorite spot surrounded by flowers. But he’s stopped in his tracks after hearing Skwisgaar’s masterful Lyre playing and is absorbed in the music. He remember how, during his cold lonely years back home, an old wooden lyre was his favorite escape. 

Skwisgaar spots him and is not surprised to see how this young boy is amazed by his playing because everyone is. He’s a Lyre God. But he is surprised when the young boy timidly asks, 

“Cans I tries it?”

No one has ever had the audacity to interrupt him mid-play or the confidence to play anything that could match him. However, he’s amused and has been watching this new kid for a while, so he beckons him over and lets him play a song. 

NOW THIS IS THE MOMENT! The moment Skwisgaar is sHOOK by how Toki’s fingers glide across the instrument and the gorgeous sounds he makes. It’s not exactly like Skwisgaar’s, but it’s something entirely his own. Something gut-wrenching and heartbreaking. And Skwisgaar feels something he has never felt before for any music other than his own. 

And they end up sneaking off often and spending their free time like this, playing Lyre together and barely speaking. Eventually Skwisgaar tells his step-father he has chosen Toki to be his partner/right-hand-man (bc they did that in Greece, forgot what it was called??) and Toki is shocked and happy and can’t believe for once in his life he can be near the first person that’s ever made him so happy in his life. 

Then obviously the growing up together thing !!!

- Toki becomes stronger and truly grows into himself. He’ll never have Skwisgaar’s natural swiftness of foot or affinity for combat, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try. 

- Skwisgaar is originally jealous of/shocked/impressed/aroused by how muscular/toned Toki grows up to become, but he constantly lords his impressive height over Toki

There’s so much more I feel is too much to add!!! 

But the other mtl ppl too:

- NATHAN AS ODYSSEUS!! PLS AND THANK

- Murderface or Pickles would actually be a really cool Chiron (a satyr who has trained many Greek heroes)

- Abigail as Briseis !!! (wont talk too much about her role bc TSOA spoilers)

- I’m not sure yet who Charles would be but he definitely has a place in this AU!!!

- mAgNuS iS hECToR !!!ii!!Ii!!

And the boys have so many obstacles in the way of their relationship, society/expectations/responsibilities/themselves. And it’s hard and painful but so worth it as long as they have each other. 

And stuff happens and the Trojan war breaks out...

I have so many thoughts for what happens to them, but ugh it’s too much to put in words almost. Just, I can’t help but think of these quotes from the book?!?! They scream Skwistok to me

“I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.” ― Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

“He smiled, and his face was like the sun.” ― Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

and another quote that i can’t put up bc if i do ever get around to writing this i want it to be a heartbreaking shock bc just thinking about it makes me tear up LOL

Even re-imagining versions of these quotes in their broken english makes my heart hurt !!! 

Just asadasfsd

end rant, I hope to add more to this AU in the future

ANd pls if any of you writers are inspired by these ramblings at ALL pls feel free to write something with this AU. Because i crave Ancient Greek Skwistok fics so much

#mtl #metalocalypse #fan art #skwistok #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #nathan explosion #william murderface #pickles the drummer #au

[irwinsx]

okay here me out: what if like you meet cal & y’all are friends & you like him but don’t wanna date him bc you know he mostly just hooks up but then you overhear him talking to the boys ab how you’re like a game changer & he’s never felt these things before & then y’all fuck & he keeps whispering things like “so beautiful” & “pretty girl” & ugh what a dream

ugh what a dream i unfortunately didn’t write the smut (sorry!) because i knew i was gonna butcher it. but it is super fluffy so i hope that makes up for it.

Words: 1.5k

Triggers: none

Story: In which you finally hear the harmony between your best friend, Calum, and yourself.

im taking writing requests!

“Seriously, stop!” you giggled, pushing Calum with your elbow. You were both grasping controllers in your hands, focused on the screen. Calum had killed your character, once again, irritating you. He erupted in laughter, loving the way you had gotten worked up. He knew you were bad at video games. In fact, it had become an inside joke between you two.

A joke. Ironically, the way you met: a huge joke.

Everything about college was a nightmare. You had forgotten your cutest clothes back home, hours away, and lost your school card far too many times to count. You were late to class multiple times, and only met one person, you’re roomate. She wasn’t friendly, only offering harsh glares layered with stress and annoyance.

Frankly, you avoided her. It wasn’t until two weeks later, on a cold night you met someone.

The street was overflowing with life; the lights beamed yellow along the sidewalk and each bar was opened late night, blasting music and conversation. It traveled in the night sky and danced around the stars. Even at 10pm, your small college town was alive.

You, however, were walking home from the local library and back to your dorm. You avoided the bars, headphones blocking out the movement of sound and feet avoiding miniature potholes in the pavement. Before you could take another step, a sudden tug at your elbow had spun you around, knocking melody out from your ears and your heart into a panic.

Before you knew it, your fist dug its way into a large, tough chest. You heard a yelp of pain and witnessed a man grasping his chest while leaning over.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” you gasped, reaching out to the stranger. A sudden wave of guilt strangled your heart.

“Fucking hell– you just had to punch me?!” he coughed. He managed to stand up straight, revealing a dark blue t-shirt, holding onto his broad shoulders. His black hair fell just above his brown eyes, now piercing into yours.

“Yeah, you, like, grabbed me!” you exclaimed.

“I wasn’t gonna kill you, ya know! I was just playing a … joke!” he said.

“A joke?” you questioned, “where you abduct a woman?”

“No– don’t be dramatic. I was dared to hook up with the first ugly girl I saw. Glad that didn’t work out…” he said, rubbing at his chest. You were suddenly offended, all feelings of guilt fluttering from your heart and out into the sky to mingle among the music and stars above.

“You asshole,” you scoffed. Once again, before your feet could dig into pavement, you were stopped by a familiar grasp.

His grasp.

“Listen, I’m sorry,” he sighed, lowering his voice, “let me make it up to you. My friends may be assholes but i’m not. I’m Calum”

You looked past his shoulder, noticing a group of guys looking over and snickering to themselves, no doubt saving this for a future story while sitting together in suits surrounded by their dolled-up wives.

However, you gave in, and suddenly had a coffee date.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t always kill me off like that,” you said, throwing the controller onto the floor next to you.

It had been a year since that coffee date. You were shocked by the person you met and how different he was from that night. The Calum you met in that coffee shop had made your heart flutter. He made you laugh, filling the world with the sound of your laughter, and what he called, your undeniable smile.

Over the year you two had done it all: sneaked pecks on the cheeks on nights of light drinking, danced in an empty bar at 3 am, jukebox playing Nirvana, tangling around the two of you as he spun you around, almost tripping on your feet. He spent late nights with you in the dorms after your stress induced episodes, holding you at the edge of your cheap twin mattress and whispering jokes into your ear.

“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?” he whispered, arm around you and his face in your hair, “it has great food, but no atmosphere.”

You laughed, not because it was funny, but because it was Calum, holding you, smiling against your hair and tracing circles into your arm.

And as much as your heart had sung for him, his didn’t sing for you. Instead, his heart jumped from girl to girl, party to party, and you didn’t want that.

You couldn’t imagine a life of just hooking up. Not with Calum, not with someone who made your heart burst in falsetto. So instead, you lingered, hearing about his late night hookups, as if they were trophies on a pedestal.

He would brag, boasting about bar scores, scratching ticks into the wall to count off another body, on another night. Every time he brought up his faux achievments, you thought to take a trophy and break it in half, throw it in the trash or burn it.

But you didn’t.

“Well, I’d appreciate it if you came to the kickback tonight,” he smirked, turning towards you.

“Right, as if I don’t have studying to do.” you replied.

“Studying? Come on– education is for losers!” He laughed, ruffling his hair with his hand.

“Fine…” you said, racking your brain with excuses, “I have a date!”

A silence boomed between the both of you, staring at each other with the paused expression of hiding smiles.

“Not that excuse again. You’re coming tonight, I don’t care!” he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, causing you to fall into his chest.

“Fine!” you shrieked, laughing and lightly hitting his chest, “I’ll be there. Promise.”

You arrived to a house filled with modern bleak furniture and concrete floors, leading to a large backyard, wrapped in fairy lights that resemble lightning bugs you used to catch as a child. A smaller group of people were here with you, drinking to light music that waltzed on the flowerbeds outside.

This felt different from most of Calums other events. Those were usually filled with blasting music and screaming people who made out in unlabeled bedrooms.

On your second drink and third guy failing to flirt with you, you still had your mind on one person.

Him. Where the hell was he?

You stepped back into the house, greeted only by people you barely knew and empty cups sprawled on tables. Calum was nowhere to be found, not until you came across an unlabeled bedroom. Then you heard it, like a dog reacting to a whistle.

“It’s just… something else,” you heard from the bedroom. It was Calum.

“Like what?” another voice came from the room. Luke, a friend Calum introduced you to months back.

“I’ve never felt this with someone. Everytime I’m with her I get.. nervous? It’s like I don’t even… care about anyone else. I want to be around her, and only her.” He explained, playing with the rings on his hands.

Metal, twisting up to his nail bed, and back down again, like clockwork.

“Only her? That’s a first,” Luke laughed in a failed attempt to lighten the mood.

“She changed it for me. I don’t care about who I’m gonna hook up with tonight. I just want to see her. I wanna see Y/N” he continued to explain.

“Then see her!” Luke insisted, “Who is stopping you?”

A series of shuffling came from the room, and suddenly you found Luke stomping out from the bedroom, looking annoyed. He whipped past you, leaving you looking at Calum.

The only thing separating the two of you was this door frame, until you walked through it and shut the door behind you.

A silence crept its way into the room, squeezing itself under the doorframe and standing between the two of you. It wagged its tail and jumped, begging for your attention.

You didn’t pay it any. Instead, you kept focusing on the sudden sweat that leaked from your palms, on your heart beating against your ribcage, and the face of your best friend, the boy from the bar with a hurt chest and dark hair.

“Listen…” Calum began, standing up and wiping his hands against his dark jeans.

“You know… you were all I wanted to be around, Cal. Just you, for so long,” you interrupted, looking right into him.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, “I promise.”

Once again, before you could take a step closer to him, the familiar feeling of his hands on you raced up your spine and back down again. It found its way to your shoulders and into your hands, where they rested on the back of Calums neck. And for a split second you felt your lingering fingers zap against his skin.

And then he kissed you.

Your heart began to sing, crescendoing into a high tune of excitement and nervousness. However, it wasn’t alone. It was paired with another tune that escaped from Calum.

Your hearts, for the first time, harmonized, and silence snuck its way back to the party to beg for attention from other strangers. The melody curved around the two of you, creating the lights of fireflies and street lamps next to bars. That stupid bar, you thought, made your chest sing.

And you both parted from the kiss, still held in embrace, surrounded by twisting sounds and blazing lights like stars.

“You’re so beautiful…” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You looked up at him and smiled, your heart still and always in falsetto.

#answer #anon #5sos fanfiction #5sos #calum hood #blurb #imagine #calum hood: blurb #calum hood: imagine #my writing #my writing: 5sos #mine #college!calum #fanfiction #im not that happy with this but we'll go with it #thank you for reading #ily all #writing request #my writing: calum hood #calum hood: request

[nureyevsbf]

first ten for carlisle :3c

i literally almost cried MULTIPLE times while writing this let’s GO

tw for mild internalized homophobia in question 7

sorry if you’re just some rando looking for twilight content who comes across this bc of all the fuckin keywords in it

otp question meme

1. Who is the most affectionate?

does it even count if i say both??? like i have lovey dovey bitch disease and im extremely affectionate but like. carlisle. carlisle who was lonely and heartbroken and crushed by self-loathing for years. carlisle who was touch starved for decades and would probably cry if he was physically capable the first time i touched him lovingly. carlisle who thought he was a monster and damned to hell who finally has someone - someone who's hunted monsters like him before and yet sees this beauty in him and loves him with their whole heart - that looks at him like he put the stars in the sky himself and who loves every part of him and insists he's more human than any of them. that carlisle?????? look me in the fuckin eyes and tell me he wouldn't b the softest most affectionate full-of-love motherfucker on the planet.

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

im the big spoon just bc i Always am and Am Never the little spoon, but a lot of time i'll sleep on his chest while he sits up doing whatever (since, like, doesnt need to sleep and shit)

3. Most common argument?

hmm. i don't think we would argue very much?? we probably don't argue at all until the other cullens start coming along, and it's more... how to correctly handle them. like specifically in new moon i would Definitely be against packing up and moving out just bc edward's being weird and fucking emo and that would definitely turn into...one of the few heated arguments we ever have.

4. Favorite non-sexual activity?

carlisle really likes cooking, even though he can't eat any of it himself, so he enjoys helping me in the kitchen when i make food. he also likes being with me when i sleep - be it curling up with me and resting his eyes or reading while i sleep on his chest or whatever.

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

i think i've answered this before and said it would probably b an even split but. yeah normally it'd b me due to who i am as a person so u would Think. but like. he MORE than has the strength for it and definitely loves to just. sweep me off my feet, literally, when the moment calls for it tbh

also, given vampires r like. Basically stone. i think it's very difficult for me to lift him in my human form.

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

ive definitely answered this one before but. for me, my favorite physical feature is his voice and his eyes. like of course All of him is breathtaking but those two things specifically get my ass. but my favorite non-physical feature - and yes i know i wind up saying this of a Lot of my f/os, im pretty sure this is just my type - is his heart. like....he's such an inherently good person and his desire to do good runs so deep that that's the thing that was amplified when he was turned - he literally is the only cullen who has never taken a human life bc his gift is literally to be able to resist THE most quintessential part of being a vampire. and i RLLY fuckign love that abt him.

he i think also likes my eyes??? there's nothing special abt them like his my eyes are just rlly pretty like irl hjdfghdfjg. he also really just...loves the fact that i'm flesh and blood. like he relishes in my warmth and my heartbeat and the fact that i'm living and it's just made better by the fact that i'm not mortal. like he can still have a partner who's all these things and whose life he can cherish w/o having to deal with me eventually falling victim to this mortal coil that doesn't affect him (and i mean - both of us are not invulnerable but at least it's like. time that's never going to do us part.)

but then as far as non-physical features go, he likes.....ok this is very broad and i do have to explain all the shit that falls under this umbrella. but he likes my sense of good. i'm a deeply, deeply loyal person, and have this very strong sense of morals and a code of honor, and i'm naturally very selfless and giving, and these r all things that made him fall in love w me in the first place.

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

oh this is so so emo and im so sorry for how sad this is abt to get. this is one of the parts that almost made me cry and not bc of how soft it is.

for me it's not too bad i just am very obvious abt how attached to him i am and wanna spend more time w him and really like latch onto him once i realize ive caught feelings. like that's just how i am in general.

but w carlisle. it's so hard for him to deal with. like it's just massive fucking turmoil for him. this affection and adoration he feels and is dying to express but this horrible guilt and his self-hatred getting amplified - like, again, he hates himself and what he is and he thinks he's this awful monster even if he's never hurt a human being and is actively trying to help people by studying medicine, and then there's me who he sees the world in and who he knows has distaste for his kind (bc again has actively hunted his kind) and he's just hit with all this shit like. he's not good enough for me, what if i find out abt the way he feels abt me and i'm disgusted by him, what if i leave and don't want to travel with him anymore. could he take that kind of heartbreak, could he take being alone again, could he take being left because of what a wretched thing he is? (there's also probably. religious panic :\\ im sure like coming to terms w being bi/mlm is NOT easy for him, son of a preacher, and im sure that's a part of it.)

he reacts to this whole fucking chaos of emotions in him by withdrawing a lot, i think? getting quieter and distancing himself from me - he's not even really meaning to, he wants to be near me but it hurts so much he just does it on instinct. which turns around and hurts him more, and hurts me in the process, so really this initial weird period of painful ass angsty pining just hurts us both, like, way more than necessary

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

i have Not ultimately though up anything since i was last asked this :pensive: so i think i have to just come to terms w the fact that i don't think we would give each other nicknames. not even shortened versions of our names (outside of me w eli but i literally just go by that normally.) pet names, yes, absolutely; it'd be my standard ones - dear, baby, doll, honey, sometimes love/my love, and if i Really wanna be over-the-top half-facetiously sappy and gross sometimes i'll say "my darling dearest." w him it's darling, dear, love/my love, and his gross over-the-top cheesy bullshit is 100% genuine and absolutely NOT facetious even a LITTLE bit and it DOES fluster the shit out of me when he does super gay ass shit like call me "my heart" or "my light in the dark" or whatever other sappy ass BULLSHIT

9. Who worries the most?

this one i know i've answered before. and like, it's him.... i think he just has a lot to worry abt. im fleshy and kinda vulnerable and that scares him - i think he worries a lot too abt like. what if the nature of our relationship makes me a target. esp with the volturi, who like have it in their rules that vampires are not to associate w werewolves, and that's not what i am but would they be willing to listen to that? especially if aro reads my mind and realizes i've killed their kind before?? the family probably keeps it under wraps tbh, hides me from the volturi, but that's not really a perfect solution. it's probably not till the end of breaking dawn when the volturi agrees to honor the treaties/relationship w the pack that they feel like i'm safe.

he also just worries abt little shit too!! like i can and do get hurt in ways they don't even if it's NOT a big deal. cut myself cooking (which to clarify. my blood isn't an issue bc it smells like shit to them. i think that might have been confirmed for the pack too but. i smell like dog it's Not appealing) or twist my ankle doing some dumbass shit or whatever. and i heal much faster than humans so this shit isn't a problem!! and the rational doctor in him is like this is a very small injury it's really NOT an issue. but the husband in him is like ))))): i don't want him to be hurting

and it just kind of results in him hovering nervously and fussing over me when he RLLY doesnt need to be

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

w us it's not exactly a big deal given carlisle can't exactly eat out at restraurants lol. he does remember my favorite restaurants in every town we go to and my takeout order and regularly brings food home for me on his way back from work, though.

#answered #answered meme #ladychraelix #4 - #5 - #carlisle

[zillanewt]

Merc With A Trashmouth

Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four

summary: Despite growing up in Derry together, the two boys went down two very different paths. Richie is the world’s most notorious mercenary and assassin, while Eddie is none other than New York’s sweetheart - the literal poster boy for bringing justice to baddies without unaliving them. This is the self-indulgent spideypool!reddie au that literally nobody asked for. 

pairing: reddie

words: 1.2K

warnings: gratuitous cussing (bc this is deadpool!richie ofc), non-graphic violence (again, deadpool au), mentions of child abuse (it’s only one or two lines)

A/N: wow so idk if ive ever told yall, but im such a huge marvel fanboy and this is a fucking pleasure to write. ok so Richie’s backstory on how he became a mercenary is very vague for a reason, because nobody is actually sure of Deadpool’s backstory in canon, soooo. There’s also quite a bit of fourth wall breaking because Deadpool. I feel like this kinda sucks and is a little underdeveloped, so please let me know what you think! Please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!

Kids who left Derry were fucking strange. But that wasn’t saying much when those who stayed were either absorbed into the evil cogwork of the town’s sinister behaviors or abducted by a demonic sewer clown.

Though, none of these things truly mattered to Richie Tozier.

He supposes he would’ve been strange even if his parents hadn’t even birth to him in that shithole town. Besides, he’s 95% sure all that Pennywise shit happened in another universe, so it’s not like anybody would know what the fuck he’s talking about if he brought it up.

Still, you had to be a special kind of fucked up to be sitting masked in a Toronto bar while a man offers you money to kill another man.

“There are important business transactions happening here, so you won’t get my tragic backstory quite yet, sweetheart.”

The man sitting across from Richie looks confused, yet unsurprised that the mercenary is speaking to thin air. There are always whisperings about how crazy the man is, so nobody expects him to be any less than completely psychotic. If you walked away from a conversation with him without a bullet in any of your limbs, it could be considered a complete success.

“We have an offer for you,” the man said in a low voice, sliding a manila folder across the table. “High-pay target. We suspect him to be Spider-Man. He has been interfering with our drug rings in New York.”

The second Richie opened the file, his heart was hit with a pang of worry, then a wave of rage. In small black typed letters was “Eddie Kaspbrak,” then stamped over in a bright bold red were the words “TERMINATE.” There’s going to be hell to pay for whoever thought this would be a funny April Fools joke to pull on him.

“No,” he growled, tossing the file back onto the table. “He’s from Derry. This guy couldn’t even complete a lap in gym class. What in the fuck makes you think he could possibly Spider-Man?!”

The man instantly shrinks back from Richie’s yelling, slightly in fear for his life.

“People change, Tozier,” the man reasons, then chooses to go for the low blow. “You did, didn’t you?”

Every patron in the bar eavesdropping knew the comment was a mistake and so did the man, as regret instantly washed over him and his face paled. He took those few quiet seconds to silently say goodbye to his limbs.

“Get out,” he mumbled very quietly, almost like a hurt teenager.

“What?”

“Get out!!” he yelled at full volume now, not holding anything back. Sure, he killed people for a living, but damn...he still had feelings.

The man quickly gathered his belongings, sweeping Eddie’s file into his arms. His breathing stopped when Richie placed a crushing grip on his arm.

“Leave Kaspbrak’s file with me,” Richie demanded, determining the amount of pressure it would take to break this guy’s arm.

“I can’t do that Mr. Tozier! My boss will kill me,” the man said panicked but gave in when Richie began applying said pressure. “Ow! Ow! Ok! Ok! Take it! Just please don’t hurt me!”

As soon as he handled the file over, Richie let go, but he wasn’t quite satisfied yet. Before the frightened man could run away, he whipped out his gun.

“One more thing, Mrrr…” Richie said very calmly, a complete contradiction to his behavior only seconds ago.

“Reynolds,” the man whimpered, not taking his eyes off the gun in Richie’s hands.

“Mr. Reynolds,” Richie began, putting the barrel of the gun against the man’s forehead, in between the eyebrows. “You tell whoever the fuck you’re working for that nobody touches Eddie Kaspbrak or every single one in your filthy operation will become very familiar with my good friends here.” He gestures to his guns and the twin katanas strapped to his back.

“We Gucci?”

The man whimpers and nods, fleeing from the bar as soon as Richie puts his gun away.

“God,” Richie giggles, “they are so fun to scare.”

Sitting in this dirty bar, he realizes now he has Eddie’s information, but he’s not sure what to do with it. They haven’t talked in a good 10 years, and he’s not even sure Eddie would even care about him anymore.

It’s not like anybody really does.

But, some crazy part of him is screaming at him to find his childhood best friend and love.

“Uhhh no,” Richie says to no one in particular. “Eddie probably has a perfect life and family, and we kill people for a living.”

Would Eddie hate him if he knew who he grew up to be? Would he be disgusted? Would he find out what’s under this mask and be horrified?

It’s times like these he wishes he still had Stan to be his voice of reason. But then again, if that were reality, Richie wouldn’t be “the Merc with a Mouth.” He’d just be regular old “Trashmouth,” like he was when they were kids.

Constantly, he lays awake at night due to the pain and wonders whether his life would’ve been different if he didn’t move from Derry when he was 15. There was nothing Richie wanted to do more than stay with Eddie, but his father was relocated Canada. Though, that sounds like a relatively safe place to be, right?

It should’ve been, but his parents just would never stop fighting. It wasn’t that bad back in Derry, but the move put too much stress on them and they all snapped in their own ways. Mrs. Tozier yelled at her husband and son whenever she got drunk (which was quite often). Richie’s dad decided to take his anger out on his “idiot son” and would throw Maggie’s empty bottles at him.

Richie?

Well, Richie was a teenager. There was nothing else to do, but fall in with the wrong people and turn to violence. The violence provided money, which was his ultimate independence from the disaster of the Tozier household.

Truthfully, he doesn’t remember much else, due to his state of mental health. All he knows is that he now owns a full arsenal and always has weapons strapped to him, like a fucking lunatic.

And to think, just ten years ago he and the Losers were spitting loogies at the quarry and telling ghosts stories about “Pennywise the Dancing Clown.” Richie was at least glad he didn’t exist in the universe where that stupid clown actually tortured and tormented them. He didn’t need any more problems.

Carefully, he opened the file and looked at the picture of Eddie. This is him at 25, and he’s just as amazing as he was when they were kids. His skin is sun-kissed like it always was when they were younger. He still has all those freckles on his face. There’s a woman with him in the picture, probably his wife or girlfriend, kissing him on the cheek as he laughs.

Richie should be more bitter Eddie has all this - the beauty and a happy life - while Richie has literally nothing, but he just simply can’t be. He remembers how much Eddie struggled when they were kids, as his mother continually manipulated him and the Bowers gang constantly beat on him, but he was always kind to other people. If anybody deserves to be happy, it’s Eddie Kaspbrak.

And if Eddie really is Spider-Man, then Richie would truthfully be impressed and slightly aroused because he’s seen how tight that spandex is.

Maybe, it’s time to pay his old friend a visit….just to make sure no goons try to whack him off.

#wow this really sucks i could do better #im sorry yall #reddie #merc with a trashmouth #my fics

[parkjmini]

Reminisce | 4

Park Jimin “I found myself falling more in love with you as I grew older.” You and Jimin were childhood best friends until you had to move away. As years passed and you both aged, the separation between your friendship deepen and you never heard from him again. More than a decade passed and you suddenly stumble upon the man who you never stopped thinking about. Word Count: 3,314 Italics = flashback (Y/F/N) = Your Full Name

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | the end

thank you to everyone who reads my horrible writing )): im really sorry i haven’t been updating, my life has just been so hectic !! pls give me feedback bc im always looking to improve ((: this is NOT the last chapter !!

“Dad!” You yelled as the familiar man stepped out of his car. He looked tired, eyes heavy with dark circles that rimmed the bottom. His face sagged and his posture was bent. However, the sound of your voice instantly lit his sulky face.

“My dear!” He whispered as you quickly jumped onto him for a hug, like a small child would do. He laughed, hoarse and deep. He had grown older and weak, so he stumbled back to maintain his balance.

“Dad, I missed you!” You squealed, giddy and eager to see your parent after several years. 

“Honey, when did you get back?” He set you down and tried to take in your grown face.

You went on to explain how you were to be in town for the next couple of days. “Did you not hear my voicemail?”

He lightly knocked his knuckles against his temples and groaned, “I forgot to check my machine these past couple of days. I’m sorry, my love. Where are you staying?” 

“Dad, have you been well lately? I slept at Jimin’s apartment last night.” Your father looked behind your shoulder to see the cool Jimin leaning against his door frame, observing the daughter-father reunion. 

He smiled lightly, “I’ve been a little tired recently. You are staying for dinner tonight, right?” 

“Yes. I was planning on staying here now that you know I’m back—”

“–No, no, my dear. Your room is no longer here. I don’t have your bed anymore. You should go and stay with Jimin.” Your dad began walking towards your home. Confused, you followed after him.

“The last time I visited was six years ago and you got rid of my bed?” You were slightly offended that he gave away your bed, let alone demolished your entire childhood room.

“You were here six years ago?” Jimin suddenly appeared out of no where. You jumped at the sound of his voice and nodded. “Why didn’t you come say hi? Why didn’t you come and see me?”

Groaning, you were reminded by the painful memories of your shattering friendship. “Because we weren’t really.. friends.. anymore.. at that time.” A sugar coated explanation was all you could give, along with a sympathetic frown.

Jimin was taken aback and didn’t move from the doorway of your house. He was absolutely clueless. “What are you talking about?” 

“Nevermind. You don’t remember because it didn’t hurt you as much as it had hurt me.” You answered passive aggressively and tried to find your father in the big house.

“(Y/N), wait.” Jimin caught on to your wrist before you fled off. “Talk to me.”

“Jimin.. we can talk and talk, but you’d never understand how much I was hurting when I grew up without you.” Knowing that you were hurt would only hurt Jimin. Knowing that your pain was because of him made it even worse. Jimin never wanted to be the reason behind your painful sorrows. He merely wanted to be your happiness.

“I wanted to be there for you.” Jimin began to defend himself.

“But you weren’t, that was the thing.” You didn’t know where the sudden fuel of anger and sadness came from. Maybe he wasn’t allow to feel upset that you didn’t bother to see him when you came to visit in the past. 

“Why don’t you go see Jimin?” Your dad asked as you laid underneath your soft, cotton covers. 

You viciously shook your head, so hard that he was afraid your head would fall off. “I don’t want to see him.” 

“Why not, honey?” Your dad tried to be as comforting as your mother. The bed shifted due to his weight and his warm hand rested on your shoulder.

“Because we aren’t friends anymore.” 

“His graduation is today.” 

Cuddling closer against your window sill, you buried your head deeper into the mattress. “I don’t care.” Your dad hated those words and he decided that there was no point in pushing you anymore. He lacked persistence, contrasting your mom, who didn’t take no for an answer.

“Can you believe it? We’re graduating in a few hours.” A young girl’s voice traveled through your open window, into your room.

“Yeah. It’s crazy.” Jimin’s voice made you still in your blankets. The fact that he lived in the same neighborhood made it harder to ignore his existence. He was obviously walking past your house to get to his own.

“I’m going to miss you.” She said sadly. Jimin exhaled and there was a silence. You thought they had left and escaped into his house, so you peeked out your blinds. There he stood at the corner of your driveway, with a girl in front of him.

“Me too.” He had hesitated before saying it. You ducked quickly before either one of them saw. The obnoxious rattling noise of the blinds caught her attention.

“Did you hear that?” The girl asked. “I think it came from this house, that window.”

“This house? No. I know who lives here and no one lives in that room.” You heart was pounding so loud, you heard it in your ears.

“How do you know?”

“They’re a family friend of mine and I’ve been in that house.” 

“For what?”

“Are you done asking me all these useless questions?” Their footsteps picked up again.

“Jimin, you’re hiding something. I can tell.” Her voice faded and Jimin’s response was no longer audible. 

“Jimin, I don’t want to talk about this right now.” You trailed and looked behind you to see if your dad was still in sight.

Jimin shook his head, unable to let go of the topic, “we’ll talk later tonight, when we go back to my place. I mean, you still need a place to stay and I’m more than happy to offer my place.” 

You sat across from your father at your old dinner table. The once small square table use to have three filled chairs. Now, it seemed too big for only two people, let alone one. Your dad’s cooking tasted exactly the same and reminded you immensely of your childhood.  

Your house was practically empty since you and your mom moved out. It was also more dark and disheartening. Your dad completely let go after the divorce, but not enough where he was living in the streets. He also never remarried or had many friends.

You cleared your throat as you both ate in uncomfortable silence. “Why did you clear out my room?”

“I thought that you wouldn’t really need your childhood room anymore. It was too childish for a young woman like you are now.” He sipped his soup nonchalantly.

“I am barely a young woman right now. I’ll always be your little girl, Dad.” You sighed and he smiled lightly. 

“I know, my dear. However, you’re getting older now. You have a boyfriend and..”

“Boyfriend? Dad, I don’t have a boyfriend. Where did you get an impression that I had a boyfriend.” You were taken back at how your father thought you were with someone. You never mentioned anything about your dating life.

Your father stared back at you and raised his brow. His head tilted in confusion and he blinked back at you, not understanding what you meant. “Honey, what are you saying? I thought Jimin was your boyfriend.” 

“What?!” You stood up quickly. Shaking your head, you ignored any way your dad was trying to calm you down.

“I mean who else would have given you that mark on your neck–”

“Dad!” You had totally forgotten about the small mark Jimin left on your neck from this morning. You didn’t even remember which side it was on and proceeded to cover your entire neck. “We’re only friends, you know that!”

“Well, you staying over at his place and then showing up together. He practically chased you down. Now, you have this purple mark—”

“Dad! Seriously, it’s not what you think!” Your face turning a humiliating shade of red. Your father laughed and continued with his meal.

“Then I suppose you fell and hit your neck on something to get that bruise?” He was being sarcastic. That was the thing with your father — always witty and sarcastic. 

You sighed and remained silent. Anything else you would’ve said to defend yourself would have been used against you. You were already upset from the earlier conversation with Jimin, and now your own dad thinks you two are together. You didn’t want to go back to Jimin’s place so soon. He would’ve wanted to talk about the loss time, but talking about a time without him made you incredibly heartbroken. 

You texted Pilot Kim underneath the table. He responded almost immediately. You were going to take his offer for drinks to get your mind off of Jimin.

“Dad, I’m going out with someone.” You helped him put away the dishes after dinner. He peered over at you, an eyebrow raised. “No, not with Jimin. I’m going out with a coworker of mine. She wants someone to explore the city with and who else knows it best besides me?” You lied.

“Alright honey. You two girls be safe. I’m heading to bed anyways. I’ve got the early shift tomorrow morning.” He smiled and hugged you close. “I’m always thinking of you, dear.”

“I’m thinking of you too, Dad.” You returned a small smile before heading out to meet Pilot Kim.

He pulled up in a sleek black rental car. The headlights were blinding white as he pulled up to your sidewalk. You entered the car and the new car smell hit you unexpectedly. “Hello Pilot—”

“—Taehyung. (Y/N), just call me Taehyung.” He cut you off and ended his sentence with a grin. He wasn’t in uniform, so you felt strange seeing him in casual clothing. He looked ravishing. His patterned button up wasn’t buttoned all the way, his dress pants fit his long legs well. He was expensive.

“This is a uh– a fancy car.” You gulped. You were trying to make small talk, anything to fill the empty air.

He smirked and leaned back coolly. “Only the best for you.”

You turned to face him, confused. He shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. “So how was your day?” Taehyung changed the subject rather quickly.

You sighed, remembering all the events of the long day. “It was good. I haven’t seen my dad for a long time, so having dinner with him was really nice. What about yours?”

“Ah… I stayed indoors practically day, besides going out to eat. I had breakfast with Jen, lunch with Gabriella, and dinner with Kimberly.”

“And now you’re getting drinks with me.” You laugh uncomfortably. You really meant for it to be a joke, but you couldn’t help the way it flew out of your mouth.

Taehyung was very popular among the female crew members and pilots. He was a young, probably a year or two older than you, and handsome. Taehyung had a smaller frame, but his height made up for it. He was a fresh face that everyone wanted their hands on. Also, he was single.

You two have never really spoken much, considering you switch coworkers almost every flight. However, you’ve crossed paths enough to have minimal conversation. The talk surrounding him helped with building his character. He was funny, or so people said. He had great morals and a real down to earth guy.

Even though Taehyung was everyone’s dream, you didn’t understand the hype. He was undeniably gorgeous, a work of art, but there was something missing. He didn’t have his own ambitions. Taehyung wasn’t passionate about anything really. He reminded you of a lost boy who has yet to find himself.

“(Y/N), you were the first person all day that I invited out first. The others offered to take me out and I just went along with it.” Taehyung explained.

You shook you head. “You don’t need to explain. We’re not dating or anything. You don’t have to tell me excuses.” The car came to a stop and the neon lights of the club caught your attention.

It was a small bar and it wasn’t a busy night. Taehyung and you sat at a table. You were never big on drinking, so you had no clue what to get. You merely followed along to what your colleague got.

“You don’t drink much, do you?” Taehyung raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t. I don’t enjoy the taste of alcohol.” Your eyes couldn’t stop scanning the room, you didn’t want to make eye contact with him. Playing with your fingers, you two sat in stiff silence.

“Then why did you agree to meet with me?” He was asking difficult questions now.

You shrugged and sipped your bitter drink, “maybe because I wanted a friend.”

Taehyung sighed and leaned forward. There was a live band playing quiet jazz music. The beat was soft, something to sway to. “When will you realize you mean more than a friend to me?”

“Excuse me?” You weren’t sure if you’d heard him correctly. Right on cue, your phone buzzed with a text message from Jimin. He was wondering where you were at such a late hour. It didn’t occur to you to warn him that you didn’t need a ride back to his place.

Taehyung placed his hand on top of yours. Your head was ducked down at the device on your lap. “I like you, (Y/N). I want to spend more time with you.”

“I think you’re super cool.” Your eyebrows wrinkled together. Your table partner was scribbling compliments all over your notebook.

“You guys are so cute! Why don’t you just date each other already?” A girl across from you stated.

At your new school, people were nice. It was nothing like how it was back before you moved. You made a lot of new friends who loved your big hair and didn’t take advantage of your big heart. You were a little more outgoing than before. Eleven was a big transition in a child’s life. You were slowly becoming a preteen.

“We should. I mean I do like you, (Y/N).” The boy smiled boldly. Your friends squealed next to you and started slapping your shoulder to edge you to respond.

You were still very sensitive from Jimin abandoning you. A huge part of you didn’t want to let go of your childhood best friend. Your mind was telling you to lie to your table mate that you felt the same. Your heart, however, told you to stay true to who you felt for.

“I like you too.. but not in that way. We’re great friends. I’d like for us to stay that way.” You smiled halfheartedly.

Everyone paused at your reaction. You rejected him. It was a good thing he was an amazing sport about. “No problem. I still think you’re cool. I’ll have to like you from afar then.”

You chuckled, but it wasn’t funny. It was sad, honestly. You couldn’t ever like another guy because of Jimin. Jimin ruined every chance of a relationship for you. No one was ever going to be like him or live up to his standards. It needed to be him or no one. That was how you felt. And you felt that way for almost your whole life.

“Pilot Kim.” You addressed him formally again. You needed to be firm with him. Drawing your hand back, you stared him in the eye. “I feel it’s best if we were friends. If we were to be with each other, it would be inappropriate. You are my senior and I respect you. I think we shouldn���t cross that boundary. You’re a fine young man and you’ll find someone else.”

“Let me guess, you have a boyfriend already.” He sipped his drink and fell back into his seat. “He also just texted you, right? He was the guy you were with today, the voice I overheard on the phone.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s only a friend. My— our — job makes it difficult for us to date, you know that.” You sounded more nervous than you intended.

Taehyung nodded and asked for the bill. “Maybe you should text him back.”

You replied to Jimin with a quick, vague message. He demanded for you to come back to his apartment. You rolled your eyes at the messages he was sending and muted your phone for the rest of the night.

As you were getting out of Taehyung’s car, his hand gently grabbed onto your forearm. You shifted around and he had a disappointed, but hopeful smile. “I know you said that you want to stay friends. I’m perfectly fine with that. I’m sorry if I made you feel uneasy or—”

“—Pilot Kim, it’s okay.” You patted his hand and he nodded, letting you go. Entering the elevator, you punched in the floor of Jimin’s apartment. Anticipation bubbled up your stomach. You’ve been mainly avoiding Jimin your entire night.

There was still a chance he was asleep. You prayed that he was in bed, so you didn’t have to speak or explain yourself. Opening the door, it was revealed an angry Jimin leaning against his dining table. The lights were a fluorescent yellow and the apartment was quiet, except from Jimin’s heavy breathing.

“Don’t.” You said as you took off your shoes and shut the door.

Jimin crossed his arms and got off his table. “My room. Now.” 

You groaned and followed him to his neat, dark bedroom. As you closed the door, Jimin was pressed closely against you. You scanned his face for any clue of it being a mistake. Any sign of embarrassment. 

He tilted his head and it was the scene from earlier all over again. His sweet, soft lips roughly pressed up against yours. His hands held onto your face and lifted your head off his door. Before you had the chance to kiss him back, he pulled away aggressively, leaving you in complete shock.

“You reek of alcohol.” He rolled his eyes and stood before you again, bold and towering. “Where were you and why weren’t you answering my messages?” 

“Who are you? My boyfriend?” Crossing your arms, you traced steps around the heated man. 

“Answer my questions.” 

“Fine. You want to know so badly, here it goes. I went out to get drinks with my coworker to avoid coming back to you.” You exploded at him, unsure where the sudden burst of rage came from. 

He exhaled sharply and said in a low voice, “now was that so hard to say?” 

“Don’t tempt me, Park Jimin.” You spat back, your words laced with venom.

“Why were you avoiding me?” He soften up. Lending out his hands, they touched your gracefully. Automatically, you unwind in his grip.

“Because I didn’t want to talk about the past. I didn’t want you to interrogate me about why I didn’t visit you when I came back. I don’t want to relive the pain of losing my best friend.. no, more… you were more than my best friend.” You were crying now. Tears spilling onto the floor. Jimin encapsulating you in his arms.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.” You pushed him away the instant you heard that nickname.

“You don’t get to call me that.” You sniffed.

 “Why not?” He looked down at you with confusion.

“Because you’re not my boyfriend, Jimin! What don’t you understand?” You screamed and cried harder.

Jimin was back, holding you with such care. “What if I want to be?” 

“You don’t want that..” Your voice trailed, afraid of his next answer.

“Like you know what I want, babygirl.” Peering up, he had a delicate smile on his handsome face. “I want to be with you.” 

You sucked in your breath. Standing there, you contemplated whether you were drunk and imagining all of this. It was all too good to be true. 

#park jimin #jimin ff #jimin fanfic #jimin #jimin bts #bts jimin #bts scenarios #jimin scenarios #jimin scenario #reminisce #mine #bts fanfic #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop scenario #kpop ff #kpop fanfiction #kpop imagines #kpop imagine #jimin imagines #jimin imagine #bts imagines #bts imagine #beyond the scene #bulletproof boy scouts #bangtan #bangtan boys #bangtan scenarios #bangtan imagines #fanfic

[survivor-rebelsvsroyals]

EPISODE 14: I really wish there’s a montage or collage of all the dumb sh*t I’ve said in this game - Dane

I’m just Abi-Maria this game huh except I made it to the final episode

*24 hours later*

well. the jig might be up gals i just. really have the feeling it’s me tonight. like it just feels definitively over. i’ve started to be less paranoid about dan stabbing me in the back and more about ruthie having an idol. we have to vote her bc it means a better shot at all of us in ftc but like i’d feel SAFER voting lachie since he definitely doesn’t have an idol. me getting idoled out would be hilarious in a karmic way but like also. i would cry a lot. so let’s hope i’m just being paranoid. i’m so close and i wanna win so fucking badly that i’m legit gonna be heartbroken if it’s me tonight (:

Okay so I have had TONS of things to do today, I had to ring the Salvation Army bell, decorate a golf cart for Christmas while my mom gave an interview about a blink and you miss it parade my town has every year AND my school kids go swimming every other week and today I agreed to get in with them and BOY am I exhausted and ready to call it a night. I just want to search for the idol, find it and get my ass to sleep. Okay so Dan is talking to me now and he, Lachie and I are going to vote together but for who... I'm not so sure!

i hate writing rops. i just feel like i come off so fake even when im not trying to be. i'll start writing things and then i'll be like "god this bitch," and erase the whole thing.  the personality disorder really jumped out

So I just realized that after I idol’d out Linus and we voted out Ryan in the live night, John AKA Joe started a Snapchat streak with me and after I voted him out he ended it 💀💀💀💀

Sooooo lmao since the cast was announced I knew I was never going to win this game but I have had a blast playing it. These games are truly meant to be played for fun and this was fun BECAUSE I knew I wasn’t going to win. I instead made a challenge for myself and said “find people you trust and get all of them to the end,” and Me, Dan, and Asya are almost at final 3 and I couldn’t be happier! It was almost like a challenge lmaooo like getting to the end by yourself? That’s reasonably easy, you just have to line yourself up for ONE person to get to the end. But getting you and your 2 closest allies to the final 3? That shit is STRESSFUL like any of us could’ve gotten voted out at any moment and we nearly did! Thanks for the fun game uwu xo 

I can’t fucking believe I made the final 4. I really felt like I positioned myself really well in this game and now my hard work might ACTUALLY pay off. Being so loyal in this game has scared me honestly. I don’t know who I am anymore. I do fear my game isn’t as flashy as Asya and Dane, but literally when have I been on the radar? If you want to call it using meat shields, I guess you can, but that doesn’t make me a floater. I was actively keeping targets in front of me by using others to protect me. Amanda died for me, Ruthie died for me. Like I literally was at risk and then they let their side know I wasn’t a threat. It’s literally genius. Idk maybe I’m being too big headed, but I truly feel like I played a stellar game. Getting to FTC would mean the absolute world to me and I really pray for a f3 and not a f2. I just really need to look back and be prepared for questioning. Asya is very articulate and her Rites of Passage really spoke to how well she played. I personally just don’t like using them to talk about my game, it’s more of an honoring thing for those who played. We have enough time at FTC to ramble about how we played the game. I’m not looking forward to endurance tonight. I have won endurance before, but I’m so worried if Lachie wins. I’m hoping and praying Asya will be willing to vote Dane out, but objectively she’d be better off killing me and going to the end with Lachie and Dane. I’m worried. I NEEEEEEED to win.

i’m so fucking nervous for this endurance :’) i’m already bad at pressure cookers but my gout flaring up this past two days sure doesn’t help ! i really would love to win bc a bitch can only trust HERSELF but i might have to cop out as soon as lachie does when the pain gets too intense. i just have to pray dane and dan don’t leave me to duke it out with him. probability of me crying on camera? high oh yeah also i survived the f5 vote lol

*After endurance*

FTC BABY !!!! i actually made f3 with my f3 alliance... wildt. my whole body hurts and i won’t be standing again for the foreseeable future but it was Worth It. will make another confessional tmrw when i’m not sleepy.

I really wish there’s a montage or collage of all the dumb shit I’ve said in this game

writing talking points for my opening speech and everything feels wrong like i just. i know what i want to say but when i say it out loud i feel like an asshole. i think it's because i'm used to going into these things sure that i'm playing for 2nd or 3rd place, but as of right now, i really believe this is my game to win. and saying that makes me feel like The Worst bc its not like dan or dane played badly, i actually think dane really underestimates himself. i just feel like i've worked so fucking hard to get here, scrambling to make things happen on every single vote, building numbers from nothing, busting my ass in every challenge, even the ones i knew i couldn't win. this is one of, if not THE best game i've ever played and i just !! want validation for that i guess. but i don't know how to say that in a way that sounds self assured and confident but not like.. douchey. on the other hand, i've played the loyal game all along. i helped get dan and dane and myself to this point, but now it's every man for themselves so like. lets go ig

Honestly I hated Asyas opening statement. It was a lot of stuff I did with her??? I think I’m really gonna roast her at FTC now. Like the girl acts like she did all the work voting out glo but I used my relationship with Dane and Linus to get them to trust me. She sounded so cocky and confident about her position but I truly believe she wouldn’t be here without her idols and myself. I’m just worried the jury is going to see her as the mastermind when I literally was there with her for every move, Dane too.... I need to really think because who knew people would become real snakes in the grass at f3...

So final tribal tribal council is tonight and I’m so anxious lmaooooo. If it were people that like aren’t rude then I wouldn’t be, but a lot of our cast members tend to be very petty so I have a gut feeling they’re going to make personal remarks. I’m happy to answer any gameplay questions though! I think i have played a pretty well game considering I started out on the outside of a large majority alliance. I snuck my way into people’s trust where they may not usually trust me and it helped me get further. I stayed lowkey with making small moves which would benefit my future like voting out Pippa and Glo and making big moves like voting out RTP and idol’ing out Linus. I used the fact that the cast hates me to keep around as an easy beat and overall I’m really proud of my game no matter what anyone says tonight or the result of the votes. Thank you hosts for casting me it was fun xo

WHEW ftc is over and I feel okay? Asya probably won, but honestly her performance was very impressive. She really sold her game and I need to give credit where credit is due. 

 However, I really think I sold my game. There’s not much else I can say. The production value was lower, but it was just as effective. I feel like I’m on cloud mine right now just because I can say I DIDNT FUCKING FLOP A TS SEASON.

 I made two incredible friends that I plan on talking to long after this and I’m just blessed for this opportunity. Whatever happens, I need to be happy with the result and know in my heart of hearts that I played the very best game I could. Also, Isaac smells.

[minishmarbles]

Long vent, strap in.

When I was born, I was named Abigayle Kristynn Rayne Gibbs. To break down that name, Abigail means "father's joy," and my parents did that white people thing where they spelt it wrong. Then Kristynn means "follower of Christ." This was not a planned thing, my parents just thought it sounded cool and it was similar to my sister's name, "Korrynn." Rayne was after "The Rainbow Connection" a Muppets song my mother loved growing up.

I was supposed to be the rainbow at the end of the storm for my parents.

My mom and dad had lost a baby before I was born to birth complications.

By birth complications I mean the nurse was a bitch and called my mom a liar because she was giving birth two weeks before expected, the doctors made my mom wait two days in the worst pain she'd ever been in and when they finally performed an emergency C section, Korry had wrapped her chord around her throat while trying to be born, suffocating her and resulting in a stillbirth.

Korryn, the baby that my mom and dad were so excited to welcome into this world, had slipped through their fingers, and was lost on Friday, December 13th. Korry Gibbs didn't breath a single breath before it was all stolen from her lungs by doctors who didn't give a shit.

Thus I was born. A sloppy replacement, and a hope for my parents that they could go back to normal and be happy again. I was born in Las Vegas on October Tenth.

Then, my little sister was born two years after me. The family that was once broken apart now had 5 children in it, my older brother Kyle, my older sister Angelyka, my older sister Kayla, me and my younger sister Isabella.

But even though I was there to help my parents heal, instead of being a cast on a broken arm, I was a bit more of a bandaid on a laceration. My mom was still broken to pieces, and my dad was barely hanging on.

It was never exactly hidden from me that that's why I was born, but it was said in much nicer and optimistic tones. Stuff like "that's how you got your name! Because you made your dad so happy, and we know you will forever!" And "Korry would be really proud to have you be her sister" were. Small.

The small things gathered and I began to realise what they really mean. "We need you to be happy!" "We expect a lot from you!" "We really can't handle you being what we don't expect!"

And even though my mom and dad never realised that's what they were saying, that's how I read into it. If i was sad i didn't go to my parents. If i was making trouble that was my fault. All of the pressure wasn't put on my explicitly, but it was there.

It got worse when I got into school, and turned out to be very good at it. I never needed to practice counting, I never had to practice writing, never had to read the whole story to know what would happen. I was good at drawing, i was good at thinking, I got As ans Bs and was in a special class for Gifted students called GATE (Gifted And Talented Educations) i had it all. Sure I wasn't the best at reading or talking but that was okay, I was smart. At least that was my train of thought.

Every ego booster was more to add to the pressure to keep it up. The more people expected the less i felt i was putting on the table.

By third grade I was almost completely quiet, and never spoke unless spoken to. If I spoke, I could be wrong, and that would be bad. I didn't raise my hand and I had a hard time telling people if i felt sick or upset (that being said, I still went home sick a lot. The nurse knew me by name and we talked a lot. I knew her daughter too.)

In fourth grade I made friends. Their names were Lauren and Emily. I don't feel ashamed saying it now because they have very unoriginal names. Abigayle isn't much better frankly, but no ones going to single these girls out ever bc you really can't.

Lauren was half South Korean, and was a swimmer. She was very smart, and looked a lot more like her dad than her mom.

Emily was a redhead with glasses and was also very smart. Her mom was a teacher.

I was close friends with them, and we would talk a lot about nothing in particular. Emily and Lauren were closer to each other than to me, but that was ok, i was okay being the third wheel.

Now a little bit about me in 4th grade. I was very tall, taking boxing, kinda scary looking and very quiet. This made it easy for what Lauren and Emily did to me to succeed.

Sometime after winter break, Lauren and Emily started to spread rumors about me bullying them. Insulting Emily's red hair (which was bullshit, my mom has red hair and I later dyed my hair red) and making fun of Lauren for being Korean were just two of the things they said I did.

No one wanted to be friends with me, because I was "mean" to Lauren and Emily. Even though it had never happened. I was isolated.

The rumors got so bad i was taken to the counselor's office, were she told me for 20 minutes I was lying and being mean. I went home that night in tears. I lost all of my friends for something I didn't do.

I would be lying if I said I knew why they did that. But it sort of sparked a fear in me. If this is how it was when I wasn't mean, imagine how it would be if i WAS. from then on, i was paranoid every action I made was mean.

In middle school, I had no friends from Elementary, and I moved across town. Puberty hit before I knew how to deal with it and I got my period without knowing what it was. I was alone again, and only really liked my sixth grade art and science classes, my seventh grade history and my eighth grade math.

During middle school is when my relationship with my mother took a nosedive, and it had a significant impact on how I did in school. All the normal teen angst was multiplied by how bad my arguments were with my mom, as I watched her mental health decline while dragging down my own and no one else in my family paid attention.

My grades sucked for the first time ever. I wasn't perfect. I went down a spiral of self loathing and confusion, and came to the conclusion I was stupid.

In 8th grade, at a time I had no friends I talked to outside of class, after an argument with my mom, I attempted suicide. It was a stupid attempt at overdosing, i tried to use the only thing i had, a bottle of alergy meds. I threw up, went to sleep, and even though i had terrible muscle spasms and felt sick to my stomach and very tired, it obviously didnt work. I would go on to attempt overdosing five times, none working.

Upon hearing i had attempted to kill myself, both my mom and dad threatened me with physical violence and being forcefully sent to a hospital. Even though i had been talking to them constantly about my mental state and how I needed proffesional help or even just someone to talk to, they acted as if there were no warning signs even though i had been very clear i was having suicidal thoughts. They forced me to do the dishes while i was dizzy and still spasming.

The only friends I reaally had were online. I had no one to talk to irl. So i began to overshare where I was anonymous.

In Highschool, not much changed, but my family began to notice my mom was nuts too and i got like. 2 friends only one of whom and im still talking to.

My mom and dad split in 2019, and the night before my dad and my and my sister left, my mom said she wished I'd died in birth instead of Korry.

Im still depressed, im not going by my birth name anymore, and im still super fucking suicidal. Oops.

Tldr : im a failure oops.

#jake speaks #// vent #// long post #// negative #// rant #//vent #negative // #// suicidal thoughts