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saninthebuilding · 1 year

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"it's your golden hour"

❤️‍🩹 pairing: kim taehyung x reader

❤️‍🩹 summary: being in a relationship with an idol can be a bit busy, especially when it's one of the members of bts. however, despite all taehyung's idol activities, you're there to show him- both to his face and behind his back -just how much you love him, even when he doubts his worth.

❤️‍🩹 word count: 2.8k (edited!)

❤️‍🩹 genre: idol!taehyung au, art major!reader au, university student!reader au, fluff, slight angst, hurt/comfort

❤️‍🩹 trope: pre-established relationship

❤️‍🩹 warnings: self-doubt, crying, mentions of sleep, taehyung is unsure of reader's love for him, reader is completely in love with taehyung, they're really soft, fluffy-haired taehyung (because i consider this a warning, he's so fine-)

❤️‍🩹 a/n: changing up my theme! to be honest i like this a lot more, it's so organized and clear, but anyways. i really liked how this turned out, even though i had a completely different idea when i started this, but i've been so in love with taehyung's hair in his recent lives and i just had to write something for him because he's been bias-wrecking me really hard lately. i hope you enjoy!

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leaning back into the couch, i stretch my arms high above my head, basking in the evening sun currently streaming through the large french windows in the living room.

taehyung lay sprawled out beside me, head in my lap and feet hanging off the side of the sofa as he taps away at his phone, playing some game he'd downloaded recently.

he cheers, pumping his fist into the air as a celebratory tune rings out from his phone, and i shake my head, smiling down at him as i brush his hair out of his eyes. he looks up at me, excited, before turning back to his screen.

it was a lazy sunday for taehyung and i, the two of us having cleared up our weekend to make time for each other. although he was currently on break from his idol activities to work on his solo career, he was still busy. having secured several deals, he was bomboarded with photoshoots and modelling by major companies like celine and elle korea- just to name a few.

however, my schedule wasn't any better. as a current art major in my fourth year of university, culminating week was just around the corner as my last semester rounded to a close. it was a stressful time, but i was lucky enough to have submitted my portfolio assignment early, so i had the rest of the week free before my final evaluation.

sighing, i look down, staring at taehyung playing his game. he seemed so focused, the reflection of the colourful lights from his screen painting his determined expression in hues of reds and blues.

looking at the time, i see the clock on the opposing wall reads 6:13 pm.

i pouted, glaring at his phone that had held his undivided attention for the past hour. i had thought he would put it away after a while, but it seemed like he had been waiting all week to try the app out, so i'd taken the opportunity to just enjoy his company.

still, i did miss actually interacting with him.

we'd barely gotten free time until now, and until his final photoshoots finished and my semester ended it was unlikely we'd get to spend some proper time together like this again.

not gonna lie, i feel like i'm third-wheeling here.

"taehyung, why won't you hang out with me?" i whined, taking him by surprise as i drum my hands on his chest. he lets out a startled yelp, quickly pressing something on his phone before looking up at me.

"yah, i almost lost!" he protests, looking at me in absolute horror- "you can't scare me like that!"

"yea, well maybe you should lose" i say, cheeks puffing up as i spoke. "all you've been doing is playing that game for the past hour. it's like i freed the weekend up just to watch you-"

realizing this wasn't what i had intended to say, i backtracked, waving my hands around frantically in panic, "which i love, don't get me wrong! uh- watching you, i mean. but, i just..."

i trail off, hands coming up to cover my face in embarrassment, before i peek down through my fingers. taehyung is gazing up at me, a soft look on his face, phone forgotten on his stomach.

i sigh, taking his silence as an encouragement to keep going.

"i've just missed you so much" i mumble, turning away from him to look out the window. the sun was setting lower now, rays turning golden as they hit the glass and splintered in the air.

it was magical.

"this is the only weekend we both have off until all our work is finished, and that isn't for another week or so. and i've barely seen at all except for when i'm leaving early morning for a class and you're there to drive me, or when you come drained after a day of work and slip into bed next to me, so it's a little..."

i pause, confused as i see taehyung's mouth falls open in shock. but before i can ask him what's wrong, he quickly sits up, shifting the two of us on the couch so we're facing each other.

"shit, do i wake you up every night?" he asks as his hands glide up and down my sides in what seems to be apology, "i swear i try to be quiet-"

i laugh, realizing he thinks he disturbs my sleep, before shaking my head, "no, no, don't worry. you don't wake me up." i let my hands rest on his knees, tracing small patterns with my fingers to calm him down.

"but then how do you-" he stops talking, confused, "it's always really late when i get home. and you're always asleep when i lie down..."

"well, no, not really. i just..." i feel heat start to creep into my ears, and i look down, focusing on the soft white material of his t-shirt.

"i wait for you. i know how tired you are when you get home, you barely even wash up or change before coming to bed. so i just, you know..."

i don't see it, but taehyung's eyes go wide, as if something clicked in his head. "that's why my clothes are always changed, and why my face and hair aren't full of all the products the staff use when i wake up."

suddenly taehyung tilts his head down, and as he looks at me, i see his expression has turned gentle, loving, adoring, as though i were the most precious thing in the world. his hands have stopped on my waist, and when he speaks his voice is heavy with emotion.

"no wonder on some nights i'd feel you moving around. and others i'd wake up with memories of hands cupping my face, guiding a glass of water to my lips, brushing the hair out of my eyes. you take care of me every night after i fall asleep, don't you?"

i bite my bottom lip, feeling a little embarrassed, but i nod anyway.

it was true. each night i'd wait for taehyung to get home, and after he had knocked himself out among the sheets, i would get up and start with his clothes. sometimes he'd wake up halfway, helping me swap his dress pants for a pair of soft pajama bottoms. other times i'd gently peel off his leather jacket or button-up while he slept, leaving him more comfortable in a t-shirt.

next i'd wet a towel with warm water and wipe the beauty products off his face (even though he doesn't need any). but it was never too much since the stylists try their best to use as little as possible when shooting, so it was always the easiest thing to do.

then i'd get another wet towel and start on his hair, working out the gel and hair spray that was occasionally still there on days where taehyung didn't have the energy to wash it out before coming home.

and if i was lucky, he would sometimes wake up just as i was getting back into bed, drunk on sleep and exhaustion, and i'd use the opportunity to coax a glass of water into his hands, encouraging him to finish it.

it was nights like these i cherished most, the stolen moments i was sometimes blessed with when i helped him drink some water and he would mumble how his day had been, eyes bleary and hands reaching for my warmth. the days where he trusted me enough to let me take care of him, even in his most vulnerable state, before pulling me into his chest and falling back to sleep with me in his arms.

and as i felt his fingers under my chin, guiding my head to meet his gaze, i stared into his soft, brown eyes, taking in the way the sun hit his tan skin just right, bathing him in a golden glow so breathtaking that he looked unreal, seeing the way his eyes shined and his face was so full of love, for me, all for me, and i realize that, no, those moments were not what i cherished most.

it was him that i cherished most.

"y/n?" taehyung breathes, and as i saw his eyes begin to turn wet, i understood that he felt the same way.

even though we barely got any time together, even though we barely saw each other, even though our lives were so busy, at the end of the day these things would never change the way we felt for each other.

because i loved him, and he loved me, and regardless of all our photoshoots and assignments and mismatched schedules, that love was never going anywhere.

it would never waver, because the bond the two of us had created over the years was deeper than scenic dates and bouqets of flowers and fancy gifts.

it was trust and comfort and support and understanding- but above all else, it was unconditional love.

and that is the kind that lasts forever.

"yes?" i whisper, and my voice comes out breathless, dazed, as i am completely transfixed by the man before me.

"don't i burden you? don't you think i rely on you this much, even unknowingly? doesn't it bother you that i'm barely around, showing up late at night only to fall straight asleep and wake up early only to leave you again?"

my lips part as a gasp comes out of my mouth, his unexpectedly serious words spearing my chest- "of course not taehyung, how could you say that?"

he shakes his head, teeth nipping at the corner of his mouth. "i mean, i know i'm an idol, and that this relationship is probably already something that puts strain on your shoulders due to the possibility of fans finding you and harming you. but i'm also your boyfriend. and boyfriends are supposed to be here, supposed to be present, supposed to show you how much you mean to them."

taehyung leans closer, tentative, wary, almost scared as he reaches out to me, only to pull his hand away. he swallows hard, before looking up to meet my gaze, eyes glistening.

"don't you get tired of being with me?"

my heart drops at his words, at how ashamed and anxious he sounds. he clenches his jaw, a nervous habit of his, and i let my eyes linger on the movement, watching how the veins in his neck make a quick appearance. i see the muscles in his arms flex as he lifts his hand to my face again, seeming unsure. i admire the ethereal glow the sun casts upon his skin as he raises my head to his. the mole on his lower lip, on his nose, on his cheek. the way he pulls the skin of his bottom lip between his teeth, sinking them into the soft flesh before letting go. the way the salt water in his eyes threatens to spill over his lashline.

i lift my hands up to his cheeks just as he rests his own on mine, gently brushing my thumbs over his eyes, preventing the tears from finding their way down his face.

he opens his mouth to continue, but i'm faster, the words tumbling out of me before i can stop myself.

"i love you so much taehyung" i breathe, voice catching in my throat as i feel my own eyes starting to sting. "so, so, so much- more than you can ever know. but you have to know. you need to know. i need you to know."

taehyung lets out a shaky breath, something halfway between a hiccup and a sob, and i move closer, climbing into his lap.

"we're both busy, and that's unavoidable. you have your life and i have mine, and even though we are so closely part of each others' lives, there are some things i cannot be included in, just as there are some things you cannot be included in."

his hands have come to rest on my hips, and letting one hand rest on his cheek, i maintain eye contact as i carefully run the other under his eye. over his cheekbone. his cheek. along his jawline. down his neck. he swallows under my touch, and i feel his adam's apple bob beneath my fingers. his eyes stay on mine, and when my hand reaches his chest, i flatten my palm directly over his heart, feeling his heartbeat thumping against my skin.

"but even though i may not be everywhere with you physically, i will always be in here."

i gaze at him, feeling my own heart beginning to speed up as i feel his fingers creep under my shirt, tracing circles with his thumbs on the skin of my waist.

"it doesn't matter how much time we spend together, it doesn't matter how much time we don't spend together. i need you to know that my love for you is not going anywhere."

my voice cracks a bit, a tear escaping down my cheek, and this causes taehyung to sniffle, eyes watering again.

"it doesn't matter how late you come home, it doesn't matter how early you have to leave. i will be there" i say, pressing my hand into his chest, "both in here..." i take my hand away from his face and gently grip his wrist, before placing his hand on my cheek, "and out here."

he bites his lip, visibly struggling to keep his tears at bay as he lets out a shuddering breath. he's clutching my sides now, as though trying to ground himself, to control the sobs threatening to take over.

"i will always be there to wipe your face down when you're too tired, to make sure you eat or drink something after a long day, to tuck you into bed so you can get a good night's sleep- to do whatever it is you want me to do for you."

i let go of his hand, reaching over to cup his face again, before pressing my lips to his forehead. and it is this action that seems to be too much for him, that breaks the dam he was so desperately trying to maintain, and he lets out a sob, arms wrapping around my body as he pulls me close, burying his face into my shoulder.

"because i love you, taehyung" i choke out, my own tears spilling down my cheeks upon hearing him break in my arms, "and i will always love you. so don't you ever doubt that."

he's crying in earnest now, his hands fisting the cloth of my shirt as his body shakes from the force of his tears. he inhales shakily, before forcing himself to say something.

"y/n" taehyung sputters, and i'm instantly hugging him closer as my own tears fall, rubbing his back and planting soft kisses into his fluffy hair.

"i'm right here, taehyung. i'm not going anywhere, i promise," i whisper into his ear, gently rocking us side to side. "it's okay, you're okay. we're okay."

i let him cry for a while longer, holding him up even as his body gives out under the weight of his tears. i feel him pulling away, and as i wipe my tears away to glance at him, his hands are suddenly cupping my cheeks, looking me straight in the eyes before he presses his lips to mine.

the tears streaming down his face mix with my own on our lips, the salt water a stark contrast to the sweetness of the kiss. he goes slow, as though trying to engrain the moment into his heart, into his mind, convincing himself that i did actually, truly love him despite the burden he considered himself to be.

i tangle my fingers into his hair, and as i marvel at the softeness of his brown locks under my hands, i pull him closer, wanting him to feel all the affection and adoration and sheer love i had for him.

taehyung leans back after a bit, panting softly, his glossy eyes blown wide as he studies my face. he lifts a hand to caress my cheek, absentmindedly brushing at the wetness on my skin before pressing his forehead to mine.

"i love you" he whispers, "i love you so much, y/n, and i can't tell you how grateful and lucky i feel just to be able to call you mine."

he pulls away, grabbing my hand and slips his fingers between my own, before lifting our intertwined hands to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to the back of my hand, keeping his eyes on mine the entire time.

despite my current drowsiness due to all the tears i just cried, i let out a surprised giggle. taehyung's gaze is gentle as he watches me, wiping the tears from my face, and i lean into his touch before throwing myself into his arms. he catches me easily, arms supporting my weight as i kiss his cheek, smiling softly.

"i love you taehyung."

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❤️‍🩹 i hope you enjoyed! likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! thank you for reading!

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saninthebuilding · 1 year

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"i need you more than i want to"

laying on my back, i stare at the ceiling from where i was on my pillow, unable to fall asleep. i could hear the cars outside the apartment racing down the street, and the occasional honking and braking of the drivers.

i grabbed my watch off the side table to my left, careful not to wake up the man sleeping soundly next to me.

2:34 am.

i sigh, placing it back on the table as quietly as possible, before turning to my side to look at him.

peeking through the curtains, i watch as the moonlight hits his skin just right, highlighting his features ever so carefully.

hair covering his forehead and eyes, i stare transfixed at how peaceful he looks. how his long eyelashes cast shadows against his cheeks. how his lips are slightly parted, and his jawline is sharp, even in the dark. i watch his chest rise and fall in time with his breathing, the black t-shirt he was wearing visible from beneath the covers. closing my eyes, i focus on the sound of his breaths echoing in the emptiness of our shared room.

on him.

opening my eyes again, i just lie there, allowing myself to take him in. it had been forever since i'd seen him this comfortable. since i'd seen him this calm and at ease.

he's beautiful.

pulling my arms from under my head, i quietly reach over, gently brushing jeon jungkook's hair out of his face. he stirs, exhaling as he turns towards me and shifts closer.

a soft smile makes its way onto my lips as i adjust the covers over him, tucking them under his chin and around his shoulders.

this causes him to stir again, this time letting out a low groan as he opens his eyes.

oops.

i watch jungkook run a hand over his face, the veins in his arm prominent in the dim light from outside. he sighs, pushing his head down into the pillow as he stifles a yawn. he shakes his head, attempting to clear the drowsiness as he turns to look at me through half-lidded eyes.

"what are you doing awake this late?" he asks, placing a hand on my waist and pulling me to his chest. "are you having trouble sleeping again?"

i stare up at him, still amazed at how he was beside me and now in front of me and around me. the fact that he was here, right here, right now.

the fact that he was real.

jungkook notices my silence, and his nose scrunches up in confusion as he looks down at me. meeting my gaze, he takes in how still i was in his arms and nudges my head with his, drawing me out of my daze.

"y/n?"

"oh, no, i'm okay, don't worry."

he tilts his head, a small pout visible on his lips.

"then what is it?"

i pull the covers up over us, then bury myself into his side. i look up at him with a smile, before placing a soft kiss to his collarbone.

"was just watching you."

pulling me closer, jungkook wraps his arms around my waist and places his chin on top of my head. after letting me get comfortable, he hums, curious, "what do you mean?"

i laugh to myself, "nothing, nothing."

he lets out a soft chuckle, before pulling away slightly to look down at me again. i raise my eyebrows in question, but he just smiles, his eyes creasing at the edges and his bunny teeth coming into view. he just looks at me for a while, before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

i stare at him, unable to believe that he was really here, with me. i hug him tighter, and i swallow hard, feeling a tightness in my throat that wasn't there before.

"i love you so much," i whisper, my voice thick with emotion.

the darkness of our room seems to blanket the two of us, and the atmosphere is filled with life even in the dead of night. jungkook stays silent for a moment, before i feel him pull me closer, as if afraid i would slip away.

"i love you more than you'll ever know."

word count: 716

a/n: i miss him so much for some reason, and the fact that he's been doing lives so often and i still miss him is completely confusing to me but also like i get why??? i just love him so fucking much he deserves everything good in this world

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