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jhuzen · 8 months

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do you have any thirst hcs for grandpapi neuvi? if you do pls share i’m so hungry 🤲

hydro dragonussy [m.reader]

hello hello, guess who’s back to writing again? this is a warmup because i struggled hard in continuing my kaveh request wip and a buncha scenarios for sick reader w genshin men and jing yuan all at once. on second thought… i think i really shouldn’t have written everything all at once. not to mention i’m trying out quotev to publish my yandere oc/m.reader stuff for fun. + yes that is the title. it’s either that or crybaby old man dragon thirsts. you pick.

𖦹 nsfw, neuvi is a virgin old man, underlying mentions of reader being an attorney (we all know i have a bias for them anyway, have you seen my workload series? lmao), switch male reader, switch neuvi, though we’re heavily leaning on bottom neuvi for this one, honorable mentions of cockwarming and thigh fucking, brief mention of double penetration (reader receiving), gentle and rough sex, implied dacryphilia (you), breeding, fontaine rains whether or not he’s sad, his tears are the rain and i will drink them like a hungry eremite in the sumeru desert.

Let’s face it, Neuvillette has no time outside of his work as the Iudex of Fontaine, he’s constantly buried underneath those paperworks, and on top of that, when he’s not tackling mountains of cases, he’s out in the opera, presiding trial after trial when the Oratrice can already do the same thing for him.

So when you appeared in his life all of a sudden, he was new to all sorts of things. In his long life as a dragon, he has had little experience in what you can offer to him. He’s awkward for the first few moments of your relationship.

It’s the same to sex — you’d have to take initiative in every single little thing, show him the ropes like the good commander you are, and he obeys with no complaints. He sees that you enjoy it, and if you’re good at it and you’re willing to teach him, he is an obedient patient.

Old man’s heads are very clumsy at first, teeth scraping against your length while he slowly but surely bobbed his head. He’s slow, but he treats your little guy with so much care. Looking up at you with tears pricking at the ends of his eyes as he tried to please you as best as he could. Obligatory weather report — it’s a light drizzle in Fontaine.

But when you give him head, Neuvillette squirms, it doesn’t matter where he is, he could not keep himself still. It’s always obvious that even you cannot bring yourself to blow him semi-public in his office, just because you’re afraid a poor innocent little Melusine would come inside and see their beloved leader squirming around traumatize them. It would also be bad for his image if you guys get caught, so… sexy times are inside the comfort of his possibly huge home as much as possible.

Sex with him is slow and intimate, very romantic. What did you expect? He’s from Fontaine and they apparently love to romanticize things. Whether or not who’s on top when you guys are doing it, they are a lot more languid in style, like a moment of relaxation between the two of you.

A switch, though preferably a bottom. Yes, that’s right, old man Neuvillette likes to be serviced. He likes it when you’re the one filling him up so good. It’s hot and heavy, just the way he likes it.

He’s a tired man, so he’s definitely a pillow prince— no, a pillow king. He lays there and takes it like a good boy, only gazing at you with those soft eyes, hazy with love and lust while you continued to push into him. He takes your hand in his every time you enter him and he always squeezes your hand tight the deeper you go in.

Call him romantic and a basic man, but he lives for missionary. He wants to see you while he feels you stuff him full of your cock. He only writhes in the beginning while he tries to adjust around you, squeezing you tight inside him while his breath stutters, trying to take you in all at once.

If he’s the one in charge, it’s all the same, he’s gentle with his actions, though, honestly, he’d rather have you ride him instead. He likes to see you in all your glory, with you rolling your hips in such a needy manner while he kept you grounded, holding onto you as he caressed your thighs. It’s perfect for him.

Oh yeah, and this goes without saying — he’s a dragon, so he has two cocks. Fitting him in is a sport on its own, but you graduated with a major in fucking dragons, so you’re good. He’s a bit thicker on the side too, so each time you take him in, you could feel every inch of him, and every throb of his cocks is a heaven sent feeling that courses through your insides.

Please be gentle with him, he is an old tired man who hasn’t had a break. He is so vanilla that it’s boring but his cries are worth it.

He’s a very quiet man too, his moans are shy and light, a gasp here and there and a tiny whimper with every increment of speed adding into your thrusts.

Neuvillette is definitely the type to squirm and get away from you at first, but you just need to keep him still and hold him down by his thighs before you plow into him. He likes it though when you do it, it reassures him that you want to do this with him and that you’re not letting him go no matter what happens.

Another weather report: a good light rain. Not too heavy.

Now that all the sweet stuff is out of the way, rough sex is not as often as the usual vanilla one, but it’s not completely an uninvited guest between you two.

If you fucked him rough and hard, Neuvillette will cry and break. His poor pristine and unmarked body, filled to the brim with your greedy bite marks and hickeys, glowing red and bruising dark purple that leaves him embarrassed when they’re still around if you somehow managed to weasel in a rough session in the morning before he goes to work and you will be reprimanded for it once he’s home, no exceptions.

“No more of these obvious markings,” he’d say with a stern tone, only to end up face down on the pillow with his ass up while you found a loophole and devoured his entire back instead.

He hates that he can’t see you when you go rough on him, because it’s normally him ending up with his face buried into his pillow while he laid on his stomach, his hips being held up by you while you ruthlessly pounded into him without even an ounce of mercy.

He hates it, but at the same time, it does help with keeping his noise down because when you’re doing him so roughly, Neuvillette wails, he cries hard, with those pretty tears of his not letting up. He’d scream to the high heavens and were it not for the fact that your hand was forcing his head down into his soft pillow, the entirety of Fontaine would hear it.

Again, Neuvillette is a tired old man, so something so rough definitely leaves him drained, you’d constantly have to hold him up halfway through your little session.

Fucking him while he’s on his side and his one leg hooked over your shoulder is a great compromise, with how you can both still see each other Neuvillette can immediately turn his head to hide away into his pillow when he realizes he’s being a little too loud on his own good.

He’s definitely the kind to force himself to be quiet. If you fuck him without anything for him to bite into to hide his loud noises, he will cry and be embarrassed through out, barely even managing to cover his own mouth with his hand without an ounce of struggle while his body jerked up and down, following through every harsh punctuated thrust that you made into him. Weather report: Fontaine has a storm.

Neuvillette cries his heart out every time you go rough, full on sobbing and it is such a turn on. The way he makes garbled noises while he would protest into your roughness, hand gently pushing into yours while he asks for you to be gentler and go a little slower, only to cling helplessly into his pillow when his pleas fell into deaf ears.

His tears are just… divine. He cries so prettily and he does it with unwitting grace and class — somehow, he’s just innately beautiful in every thing that he does. There is no such thing as an unsightly sobbing to this man.

Neuvillette makes this soft noise in between a whimper and a gasp every time you hit his prostate spot on and he just shudders in delight, his breath shaky until he can barely think straight.

Gentle or rough, he’s definitely into breeding. Neuvillette has a breeding kink and anyone who thinks otherwise will sink deeper than Khaenri’ah. Stuff him full of your cum and he’s a happy and satisfied man.

It’s not just the feeling of your hot seed pumping him full that pleases him, but being around the Melusines, treating them like his children despite them being just his subordinates has definitely gotten this old man all too paternal. He likes the premise of being able to build a family with you, and he will nurture your children with all his being.

Thigh fucking? Thigh fucking. Though it’s rare, only when he’s really tired but still aches to please you, and even you’re too lazy to move a lot.

Bother him when he takes work at home by making him cockwarm you. He could not concentrate at all — squirming and squeezing around your cock so deliciously while you teased him about getting his work done.

Has definitely tried wall sex with you, with his back against the wall while you held him up. May or may not have happened at the opera after a heated trial when he ruled against your client and you were pissed your streak of wins on that week crumbled into dust. It’s neither your fault but the client’s, but you’re a sore loser and Neuvillette is a stoic judge.

Call him daddy while you fuck into him and he will break, he’ll go slack, his mind numbed when a rush of dopamine just infiltrated his brain every time you’d call him that.

And after all that, aftercare is a must. Treat your dragon well. He did so much for you, and you broke his old man back after fucking him into oblivion. Clean him nice and well, kiss his tears away, and wrap him tightly in a blanket while you hold him.

#I AM #somewhat alive #i honestly planned on posting more works soon if i didn’t hit the classic ‘wow i suck’ moment #i have been doing nothing but scroll though yt shorts help 😭#also play genshin and hi3 because hsr has no content until 30 #jhuzen’s stupid hcs #jhuzen’s shameless filth #genshin impact x male reader #sub genshin #sub genshin impact #sub neuvillette #neuvillette x male reader #neuvillette smut

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verysium · 6 months

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ACT 1, SCENE 3: blue lock headcanons

sae is into skincare: lotions, serums, the whole set. he and rin used to have self-care nights as children during which they would sit in bed with matching face masks and watch cartoons on the family tablet. if they were in a good mood, they would let you join.

barou listens to classical while working out. no joke. this man is so insanely focused he will shoot goals and play paganini at the same time. his work ethic is low-key why you were attracted to him the first place.

nagi is lazy to the point he will deliberately buy five pairs of the same exact pants just to save himself the trouble of having to choose an outfit in the morning. thank god for reo otherwise nagi would still be dressing like he just crawled out of bed. he still can't do much about his bedhead though.

rin desperately wanted to join sae in the deeper end of the community pool; however, he was deathly afraid of drowning. his only logical solution was to cover himself in pool floaties while he dipped a single toe into the water. even to this day, he still has traumatic memories of that experience. you need to hold his hand every time.

kaiser acts like his football prowess comes entirely from natural talent. in reality, he trains to an obsessive degree behind the scenes. you could come home at midnight, and he would still be there replaying every single highlight of his recent game. he is the type to keep detailed notes about all the players he went up against.

isagi likes to walk around his hometown of saitama and just observe the snapshots of life around him. whether it's a street vendor, children playing on a grass patch, or a couple in the sunset, he secretly enjoys these little vignettes of human experience. he would become sentimental when it comes to you. sometimes you have to pull his head out of the clouds.

nagi has parents who work overseas, so the most he sees of them is through video calls or holiday presents. occasionally, he also gets a birthday card shipped through international mail. when you threw him his first surprise party, he secretly felt touched because his family was never big on physical celebrations.

sae is ridiculously good at anything that involves data and calculations. he participated in a math competition one time in junior high, and he would have made it to the national level had he not been entirely focused on football. refused to tutor rin in algebra though because apparently his little brother has to figure out everything for himself. if it were you though, he would begrudgingly agree.

bachira holds the world record in procrastination. his notebook, pencil, and eraser are still as untouched and pristine as they were on the first day of the academic school year. he does not know what a book is, nor has he read one. he only studied because you refused to cuddle with him otherwise.

ego eats so many cups of instant ramen noodles that his glasses begin to fog up from time to time. anri has to clean the frames and lenses weekly just to make sure his myopic self can even see. at this point, she's the real MVP of the entire series.

barou likes to open the windows right after it rains because he enjoys the sweet smell of petrichor. his ideal day would be spent lounging on a couch with some tea and a novel. it would be even more perfect if you snuggled under the blankets with him.

niko sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night, immensely insecure about his forehead. he thinks it looks giant though it really isn't. you have to brush his fringe back and pepper kisses down his face and remind him that a big forehead means a big, sexy brain, so it really isn't that bad. he believes you and goes back to sleep.

shidou would make fun of boomers. in fact, he'd ridicule every single person he considers past their prime. he does not believe in any form of authority, nor does he like being told what to do. if he had his way, he would have turned the entire world into anarchy a long time ago. the only reason why he doesn't wake up and make himself everyone's problem is because he doesn't want to upset you.

kaiser knows he is very well-endowed physically, so he purposefully walks around your apartment shirtless. if he catches you eyeing him, he will make a big deal out of it. tries to not-so-subtly flex his biceps every time he reaches for the milk carton.

reo loves cocktail dresses, especially in the wine red shade. something about the accentuated figure and natural curves gives him goosebumps. his favorite part of you is when your tummy slightly protrudes after you've eaten too much. you might think it's embarrassing, but he thinks it's adorable.

rin only uses shower gel, mostly because he learned his lesson after using the locker room shower stalls. never use bar soap, always use bottled. he's also the type to always have shower shoes. sae taught him that.

bachira is the type of student to completely misread the question and still not feel bad after the teacher points it out. oh no, he was actually supposed to solve for x, not just circle it? he'll shrug it off like nothing ever happened. at least he tried. the teacher should be grateful for his effort.

sae says he does not understand the sentiments behind cute couple traditions but then proceeds to get upset when you show up to his game without wearing his jersey. would definitely get you matching bracelets for your anniversary.

aiku has a high spice tolerance. he would definitely drown his food either in sriracha or buldak sauce. if you can't handle spicy though, he would set aside a separate plate just for you and manually spoon out the food just to make sure you have something to eat too.

aryu never has dry cuticles. he is always trimming and filing to perfection. sometimes he has beef with your nail tech because he thinks he could have done so much better on your acrylics. refuses to let you go to a salon because he already has all the tools and expertise necessary.

sae does not know how to cook. his manager has always ordered take-out for him. the one time he tried to use a microwave, he completely misread the package instructions and nearly burned the entire building down. called you up with the straightest face afterwards to tell you that the smoke alarms were not shutting off.

barou unconsciously caves into peer pressure. every single new trend makes him rethink his personal style. however, he views it all with an old man mentality. like what are these youngsters doing these days? dying their hair every possible color of the rainbow? he has to do that too. proceeds to call aryu to add red streaks into his own hair. sometimes you have to remind him that external opinion should always taken with a grain of salt.

chigiri has a major sweet tooth. if you so much as bake him one single treat, he will have made plans to put a ring on your finger before he even finishes the damn pastry. his ideal partner is someone mature and understanding who can take care of him well. definitely likes the homemaker type.

gagamaru is the seeing friend in your relationship. no matter how many trips he makes to the optometrist, he will always come back with perfect 20/20 vision. definitely a nature enthusiast, and he loves hiking. even if you're blind as a bat, he will always be there to hold your hand in the dark.

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anonymous-dentist · 8 months

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Anyway, this is all to say that q!Roier is such a fascinating character, but he’s very watered down in the fandom because he himself has watered himself down in character. He’s very happy to just ignore his tragic past and his own literal murderous impulses in favor of building his dead son a city and hanging out with his sexy cool hot smart husband. He’s a very good actor (both cubito and creator)- q!Spreen and q!Quackity never even realized he was mad at them. Nobody left on the island except for q!Jaiden even remotely knows what went down because Roier just… doesn’t acknowledge it.

And he still isn’t acknowledging it, probably partially because cc!Roier is very close with cc!Spreen and he knows that Spreen doesn’t really wanna be connected with lore at all, but in rp that could literally just be q!Roier just internalizing it and pretending it didn’t happen and that it didn’t leave him a mess that still hasn’t been cleaned up. Because Roier is still traumatized, he just won’t do anything about it because he’s convinced himself that he’s just kinda just over it. He’s moved on! He’s happy again! He has a new family (who won’t betray him) and a new romantic interest (who won’t literally stab him in the back) and he’s happy.

Happy Roier is the way he’s constantly presenting himself, so it makes sense that that’s the way the fandom sees him. His old lore hasn’t been brought up in months… on the surface. But if you read into his character, you can still see his trauma even now that he’s wearing his Happy Outfit again.

His taqueria is a perfect example of that: he didn’t even touch a taco ingredient after he was betrayed over taco ingredients. But once he started building Bobby’s City after he started getting close with people again, he started the taqueria he had always dreamed of building. And he finished it for his fiancé so they could have their first date there, just like how he had planned to take all his friends (and his crush q!Spreen) to his taqueria back in March/April before they crushed his dreams and sent him into a depression spiral. Even now, he just doesn’t really ever touch tacos. He lets Leo take care of all of that, and he doesn’t really make them at home. He’s probably remembering q!Missa’s words: “You care more about tacos than your own friends.”

Oh, and there’s how q!Cellbit told Roier that he used to kill people and how Roier’s only concern with that was whether or not Cellbit would kill him. Because Roier is not a very sympathetic person, he only became a therapist for the gossip, and he blows people up with mines for fun and he asks his husband to kill for him when he’s even slightly annoyed. But he remembers how the person he cared about most took a sword and stabbed it through his back and killed his dog in front of him (notice how Roier hasn’t had his own pet since then, only the people he’s lived with have them.) And he’s terrified of that happening again.

And then there’s his reaction to q!Foolish seemingly getting stuck in the Nether. Because while everybody was joking about having a funeral, Roier was silent. (And he’s only silent when he’s doing rp.) He doesn’t have a lot of family, and it’s implied that he just didn’t have any besides his freaky abuelo before the island, so losing someone else he cares about kinda just… hurt. He got Cellbit to stop with the funeral stuff and he jumped in front of a literal (bubble) gun to protect Foolish when he came back because he’s tired of his family getting hurt!

Everyone Roier loves either leaves him or gets hurt, and so he’s obviously limited himself. He only ever really interacts with Cellbit, who he trusts not to willingly leave him, Richarlyson, who he will make sure will never get hurt because all the eggs get hurt when he watches them and they die and-, and Jaiden, who he knows would never hurt him or leave him.

But despite all of this, he’s still just a Little Guy. He presents himself as such constantly. It’s a coping mechanism. It’s him pretending nothing’s wrong and everything’s fine and he’s just a Little Guy!!! And that’s why the fandom probably gets him wrong so much, because the character gets himself wrong, and that’s absolutely fascinating from a meta perspective

#anyway I love him

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femmefatalevibe · 10 months

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Hi Femme Fatale,

I hope your day has been great. I’m 25 and

I have a very traumatized past of DA in the household from a young age. This unfortunately kept me from being with a man of value/or just making the first move to date. I don’t understand the “signals,” that men may send to women if they’re interested. I get nervous when I see a man I find attractive and/or my standard and I walk right past them or avoid them. It even happens when I see the men showing interest in me while passing: eyes widen, eyebrows go up, they’re eyes linger on me. I dress well AT times.

But idk. I’m single, I would like to date but I don’t see it happening for me at any point rn. I’m also awkward and I blurt out things. I don’t feel “sexy” or secure— I’m constantly apologizing to a guy (I’m interested in) about little things I may have done on accident. I feel like I have to change my wholleeee self, I usually am makeup less and I wear pretty good clothing but I’m saving up to redo my wardrobe. I don’t feel like the woman I aspire to be like: dream hair, clothes, makeup etc.

I have to save up for that type of woman I want to be.

I’m just overwhelmed and saddened that I am self sabotaging myself from dating.

I don’t mind being single but I do feel like it’s time for me, and I’m ready. But with the abuse I experienced and me running from men and only being friends with “unattractive” men as my safety.

I hope that makes sense

Thanks !

Hi love! I'm sorry that you've had to go through these traumatic events and that these experiences have left you with (understandable!) self-image issues. While the art of socializing and flirting is definitely helpful and is a learnable skill set, from what you've told me, it seems like the most pivotal thing you can do for yourself is to begin seeing yourself as desirable and finding ways to feel desirable in your daily life. You don't need to change your whole self if that doesn't align with who you feel you are, but your life is your canvas, so change any aspects of yourself that you see fit to align with the person you aspire to be.

I'm glad you're able to work towards dressing like your best and most authentic self – this practice is so helpful for self-confidence! If you want to experiment with a little makeup, try something subtle (like a tinted lip balm or gloss, a cheek tint, tinted moisturizer, or mascara) or wear a certain scented lotion/perfume/body bronzing lotion, etc. to see how it makes you feel.

However, your most valuable and priceless asset is your self-perception and confidence. Certain ways to enhance these aspects of your life are completely free:

Posture: Standing up straight, getting comfortable with direct eye contact and smiling (short bursts to build up to tension-creating glances), laughing and allowing your personality to show through in conversations, and maintaining open, relaxed body language

Self-talk: Engage in positive self-talk – whether that's through affirmations or simply telling yourself that the other person will love you before entering a room/conversation. Remind yourself that you're worthy and desirable until it becomes your default narrative. This one takes a lot of inner work and some time, but you can get there if you believe you can/let your emotions run their course throughout your journey

Self-pleasure: Having a consistent, effective, and fun self-pleasure practice is key for sexual confidence, which can only elevate your flirtatious energy in general and allow you to reclaim ownership over your body/sexuality. Consider trying an orgasm manifestation/ affirmation ritual to help reclaim both your sense of self-confidence and sexuality through one practice

Once you get reclaim your sense of self and sexuality, the external parts of the dating puzzle will come considerably more naturally to you as you will have the confidence and instinctive gut training available to help guide you along the way.

Hope this helps xx

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thelesbianpoirot · 7 months

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I am looking up Baulder's Gate III characters and their backstories on TV tropes. I am loving the game. I came across the backstory of a character beloved by Tumblr. Obviously a thin white flamboyant male. And I realized how they would never have loved his backstory if he was a woman because it is so anti "sex work" i.e prostitution and it that would piss so many of the pretend "left-ish" crowd off.

Astarion Ancunín "Deconstructed Character Archetype: The Casanova/Ladykiller in Love type - The suave, handsome man who gets with everyone he wants. Astarion is this way because he is the manservant of a monstrous master vampire named Cazador, who controls, manipulates and abuses Astarion. Astarion himself is a victim of being forced to constantly engage in sexual intercourse along with other deeply humiliating and depraved behaviour (self-mutilation, eating rats, etc.) for Cazador's satisfaction, and also using sex as a predatory tactic to lure victims in." Meaning this character gets pimped and exploited for the profit of someone else. And this is considered humiliating and mentally damaging. It is just show as common sense that having sex with anyone, whether you are attracted to them or not, for survival, can have awful affects on you. Further more the above line " forced to constantly engage in sexual intercourse" is linked to the TV tropes page called Rape Is A Special Kind Of Evil! It is acknowledged in the lore that "survival sex work" is essentially RAPE. But in the tumblr fandom community people will gleefully create a character who backstory is that they had to prostitute themselves to survive, and treat it as a kind of fun sexy hobby/trait - and not horribly traumatizing. "Astarion really struggles to deal with his growing feelings for the player, and he actually staves off a romantic tryst because he wants to make sure he really does love the player. Sure enough, if the player presses forward during this event, Astarion recoils from it and ends up breaking things off from the player." Being sexually exploited affects your consensual sexual relationships. I remember watching Hustlers (2019) and there is a scene in the backroom where all the strippers talk about growing to hate sex. Their male partners date them because they expect a really sexual person but because their survival depends on them being sexual for money, they no longer find joy in it. And many avoid sex with their partners as much as possible. Prostitution, porn, stripping, camming etc, all forms of sexual exploitation creating a repulsion to sex in the end. Being pro-prostitution is being anti-sex, it is being pro-rape. "Astarion demonstrates how an obsession with sex can ruin you, especially if you're forced into it to survive." I love when it is acknowledged that being forced to have sex for money isn't some glamourous thing. I have seen mothers and aunties forced to have sex with their baby fathers (exes), disgruntled husbands and bosses to ensure their children survived. These women grew up to be relatively asexual, and sex repulsed because every instance of sex was for survival, not fun or enjoyment. And to see middle class white kids online treat it as a sexy hobby is just aggravating. "This is even sadder if you romanced him and decide to try being with someone else; he'll dejectedly ask if it's because they haven't been sexually intimate in a while. It takes Astarion coming to terms with his past and his growing love for you that he'll initiate by asking to make love in the resolution of his arc. He lets you choose whether to finally be able to have sex without the feeling of being tainted, wait for another time, or just simply be there and reflect in calmness. Either way, Astarion respects your choice." I bet tumblr fangirls and gamer fanboys will have all kinds of beautiful meta about this character surviving essentially escaping prostitution, and have all kind of sympathy for him, and hate people who raped him. Yet they will give none of this sympathy to real women and girls, homosexual/bi males (trans identified or not) on the streets being prostituted or exploited in porn/strip clubs. The minute a survivor of prostitution/sexual exploitation is anti-prostitution they are bullied and mocked online, called a SWERF, told not to "bite the hand that fed them." Hypocrisy of this generation is disgusting.

#thelesbianpoirot

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egyptianhoney · 6 months

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The girl with the rose tattoo

Earlier this year, I made a spontaneous appointment with my favourite tattoo artist to get two small pieces done. Growing up, I always knew I wanted tattoos, so I would keep ongoing lists of ideas or inspirations scattered across notebooks and post-its. I classically promised myself that I would only get a tattoo once I wanted it for over a year.

I broke that promise with my first tattoo. My close friend made an appointment with a very coveted Toronto artist and we took that opportunity to get semi-matching tattoos. Same design, different colours and placement. A somewhat shared ornament, on my right arm and on his left knee.

I continued to break that promise. I started collecting tattoos like souvenirs, as if I was a Christmas tree adorning myself with different trinkets I gathered across different times, places, or eras of my life. Up until a couple of years ago, I had never really thought about a tattoo for more than a couple of weeks—if even. Most of my tattoos were designs I decided on the day of, browsing through artists’ flash. It seemed that a successful, non-regrettable tattoo was one with the least amount of meaning. The more meaning-less, the better.

One cold winter day in 2021, me and my partner at the time randomly decided to get semi-matching tattoos. Looking back, this situation was so proverbially wrong, and at the time I was actually very uneasy with the idea. I was reassured by the fact that the tattoos would be, again, semi-matching ornaments devoid of real meaning. When we were discussing placements with our artist during the shared appointment, my partner suddenly had a change of heart and asked, “Why don’t we just get matching tattoos?”

The problem with my partner’s question was that it seemed to be a trap. Presently, I’m aware that I should have stuck to my initial hard boundary, but at 21-years-old I caved when faced with her follow-up, “Do you not trust us?”

We got the tattoos and broke up two years later.

Right after we broke up, I started healing from that heartbreak by making my first appointment with my now-favourite tattoo artist to modify said-matching tattoo. I didn’t want to cover it up because I wanted to learn from those experiences and honour my embodied mistake. I chose to add a border, giving my artist complete free reign. Now, it is no longer matching.

After that traumatizing but enlightening experience, I began to wonder whether my spontaneous and free-spirited attitude towards tattooing was what initially trapped me in that uncomfortable situation. Upon much reflection, I developed a new rule for myself—out of respect for my body, my new tattoos all needed to be meaningful and well-thought out. In practice, I primarily searched for meaning in my culture, through designs that referenced traditional Arab/North African motifs, such as present in rugs or in art. As a Syrian-Egyptian young woman trying to carve a place in a world that has always taught me to minimize myself, I developed the opinion that the only way to respect my body in my tattoo journey was by honouring my ancestors and their tattooing practices. What better way to ‘decolonize the mind’ as Frantz Fanon (1961) theorized, than by reclaiming my body through its ornaments. This was a stark departure from my initial philosophy, as I now believed that respecting my body manifested through restricting myself to more ‘meaningful’ tattoos, particularly cultural ones.

But, earlier this year, when I made that spontaneous appointment with my favourite tattoo artist for those two small pieces, I was faced with a dilemma: I didn’t only want ‘meaningful’ tattoos anymore. I wanted a rose behind my ear and cherries on my right hip. I just wanted to have fun again, chasing the high from my first impromptu appointment. I wanted something sexy, fun, youthful, and most importantly, I wanted to be spontaneous again.

Anyone who has gotten a tattoo before can attest to how deep the conversations get when you’re laying down for hours with your artist hunched over your bare body in the most uncomfortable positions, stabbing you endlessly with a machine-powered needle.

So during my appointment for the rose behind my ear and the cherries on my right hip, I was explaining my thought process to my artist, how I wanted to stop thinking about ‘my body as a temple,’ and restricting myself to just what I would deem as ‘meaningful’ or ‘cultural’ tattoos. They asked,

“Well, what makes a tattoo meaningful?”

This question never really occurred to me. By focusing on cultural tattoos specifically, was I replicating the same colonial thought processes by creating a category of ‘cultural’ tattoos that was unchanging, fixed in time, and static? Even though I did extensive research on motifs before affixing them on my body permanently, did I fall into the same colonial psychological traps that I was trying to overcome? In my quest for meaning, was I actually just using tattoos as means to neglect the fact that I was still healing from the embodied trauma of my relationship? Is that why I suddenly became scared of my once-celebrated spontaneity?

Is my body actually just a ‘temple’ adorned with art that I find beautiful, and that’s what makes it meaningful? Is there deeper meaning behind the seemingly meaningless? Is the rose behind my ear, the cherries on my hip, or the first semi-matching tattoo I got with my friend, actually all meaningful tattoos too?

We moved on to other conversations, but I couldn’t get those questions out of my mind. More importantly, I realized that my different contrasting quests for meaning(less) tattoos were futile, because in reality, my tattoos all had meaning simply because, at a moment in time, I found them beautiful enough to place on my body permanently. The tattoos are all in some way a testament to myself. And that is the best way I can honour my ancestors—by loving and decorating this body that I inherited.

In a beautiful coincidence, my dear friend and I discovered that we have the same symbol tattooed. I often find coincidental matching tattoos in ‘the wild,’ especially with my small eye piece on my inner left arm. And every time I meet another person with the same tattoo as me, I point it out.

During the summer, I was drunkenly showing a stranger my two new tattoos, when he said, “You know every girl has that tattoo behind her ear right?”

I replied, “I know.” and I’m proud to be like every other girl who has a rose behind her ear, or cherries on her hip. I’m proud to share tattoos with thousands of others before me, because it is so wonderful how we all collectively found the same image beautiful enough to memorialize on our physical selves.

My tattoos have meaning simply because I find them beautiful.

#tattoos #girl #tattooed

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roguetaemincat · 1 year

Text

*waves shyly* Hi, I'm Rogue, and I write fic.

Some of it is fun happy sexy stuff where everyone has a great time. But I'm also a sucker for horror and wildly traumatic darkfic, so there's some of that as well. Please do not mix the two up, read the damn tags etc etc.

Whether it's fun or dark though, it's all love stories, because I'm a romantic sook.

Anyways here is my Ao3 🤗 I would love to talk to you about words and stories if that's your thing.

#taemin #exo kai #fanfic #rpf fic #exo #shinee

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fonulyn · 1 year

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May I have a fic rec, please?

I would like to do a full Fon re-read but, and you may not be aware of this, you have A LOT of fics.

In your expert opinion, where should I start?

... when you say "a fic rec" do you mean just one fic or? :'D because c'mon these are my children and there's over 200 of them how am i supposed to pick just one! :'D

so i'm gonna just. take this as an opportunity to list some of my personal favorites and you can ...idk use a random number generator to pick one? :'D (or start with 5 it's a good start)

reach the point of no return; Chris/Leon; Chris proposes and the timing is questionable. (idk it still makes me laugh :'D it's one of the very first fics I wrote in this fandom (like the third? I think) and it still makes me happy so I think it's worth mentioning lol)

survival is secondary (to having it all again with you); Chris/Leon; Leon tries to sort through the traumatic aftermath of being kidnapped and tortured, and watching Ada die because of him. (this was my attempt at touching the complicated ...whatever it is between Ada and Leon, and idk I do enjoy rereading it occasionally)

and I don't want to know how slow the time must flow; Chris/Leon; They fight their way out of a BOW infested castle while going from idiots to lovers. (very self-indulgent Leon-gets-impaled (and not in the sexy way lmao) fic :'D)

from the gates of longing; Chris/Leon; Chris volunteers to take Leon home, but ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for. (I just loved writing the re4-ish Leon. considering how much i love that version of him i write him very rarely lol)

so I confide in you (for nothing compares to you); Piers/Leon; Leon saves the president's son from a cult, but that isn't the end of their story, it's only the beginning. (one of my personal top faves negl, I loved getting to include re4 and Vendetta and my fave otp in one fic :'D in hindsight I wish I'd somehow worked Damnation in too lol but I'm still happy with this)

all the things you are; Jake/Piers; At first, Piers isn't happy the guy he's been hooking up with turns out to be a damn mercenary. Then, his emotions get more and more complicated. (their dynamic is just so fun to write, and this fic is something that rattled in my brain for a good while demanding to be written lol)

maybe he's born with it; Piers/Leon; There's a bet going within the BSAA whether Leon is a natural blond or not. Piers is not amused. (it makes me laugh :'D that's reason enough)

without hope, without fear; Jason/Leon (past Krauser/Leon); Jason tries to convince Leon of his cause, and when it fails, he takes of Leon what he can. (I am still so bummed that the obvious Krauser-Jason parallels were so uniformly ignored by fandom 😩 there's so much potential. also the monsterfucking was fun to write lol. I'm still happy with this one and I hope one day i can write more Jason)

can't help but follow in spite of going insane; Krauser/Leon; Krauser takes too long to kill Leon and Saddler intervenes. (negl I had tons of fun with this and i love the complicated mess of feelings between Leon and Krauser. I'm both really happy with the ambiguous ending and sad that I couldn't figure out how to make this fic longer :'D)

will you be by me?; Piers/Leon; After getting infected in China, Piers doesn't regain all of his memories. Leon has to deal with both almost losing Piers and losing their entire relationship. (I'm honestly so happy with how the sad stuff in this turned out. it makes me cry :'D so I feel accomplished)

never too much to ask for; Piers/Leon; Leon's journey to learn that he is allowed to have nice things. (I love love love Leon learning to enjoy hugs and closeness, and even more importantly, learning that he deserves them and can have as many as he wants!)

nothing else remains; Piers/Leon; So Leon might've known he had a bit of a praise kink but the intensity of it still takes him by surprise. Or maybe it's Piers, who is making everything even more intense with his mere presence. (what can I say, I think Leon is desperate for praise and deserves every bit of it ;D srsly, i'm way pleased with this one)

and love shall heal the scars; Chris/Leon/Piers; Leon is missing and presumed dead, but in reality he's in captivity being tortured, while Chris and Piers desperately try to find him. (not sure what it says about me but i loved writing this :'D)

winter lovin' (there's snow one like you); Piers/Leon; They get a winter vacation. (things don't get much more self-indulgent than this tbh I just want all the fun good things for them! and them being in Finland is just a plus :'D)

only the courage to continue counts; Piers/Leon; Leon is sent to Spain with a new partner to save the president's daughter. (i worked so hard on this and my love for re4 knows no bounds)

heal the scars and change the stars; Piers/Leon; Piers and Leon are stuck together with civilians and surrounded by zombies waiting for rescue. What makes it harder is the fact that they've broken up, even though they still love each other. (I still remember the dream that inspired this so vividly. and what can i say, they're a love story for the ages :'D am happy with how this turned out)

last chance garage; Chris/Leon/Piers; Chris and Leon retire and start a garage together, before ending up getting together. Yet somehow something is still missing. Until Piers. (i never intended to write 8k of this lol but in hindsight i'm glad i did because i think it turned out great. altho i'm still a little bummed no one else enjoyed my fave scene in it :'D)

honorable mentions to the re2 Piers/Leon time travel au, the Piers/Leon choose your own ending (with varying degrees of death), the Piers/Leon woke up as girls for a day smuttage, the Chris accidentally breaks Leon's heart but Piers puts it back together fic, the Piers/Leon where Leon has a bit of a competency kink, the little nose kisses Piers/Leon fluff, and the tiny soft moment Piers/Leon.

and as separate mentions, a couple of series;

the pinnacle of self-indulgence; Piers/Leon; it's obviously very long and obviously very self-indulgent but I just can't not mention it because it's important to me. and I'm hoping to get the next part done soonish.

the Krauser's back trilogy; Krauser/Leon; i'm genuinely proud of how it turned out. i am more of a fluff person so writing something more complicated always feels like an accomplishment :'D

hey, it's free (mutant) baby!; Piers/Leon; ok this series only has one fic rn but i'm halfway through writing the second part and have plans for like... five parts, so maybe i'll one day get them written.

#attackpoodle #i am truly sorry :'D #but it's SO MANY FICS #me and my fics #ask and i shall answer #can i tag this as #fic rec #when it's my own shit? :'D #no matter already did lmao

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papirouge · 2 years

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Sorry to be doing this in your inbox, I don't really like doin this, you can ignore this if you want. Mentions of sexual abuse ahead.

I accidentally saw some tiktok screenshots of people reacting to Amber Heard's rape account, and they left me feeling so gross. All of them thought the story was not a big deal, or even hot. And let me clarify, I dont know mcuh about this case, I havent been following it because I dont care about celebrities so i have no idea whos guilty and whos not, or if both are. Dont even know if the rape story is true, but the fact that people are reacting this way, a story that is similar to things women have actually gone through... and some even said "I don't even follow this case", basically admiting that there wasnt even any sort of bias or knowledge of whether she might have been lying or not.

Its all so disheartening. But i guess it does make sense. Ive heard that men invade or lurk womens rape groups where they discuss their sexual abuse to masturbate to these girls traumatic tales. And i remember years ago stumbling upon this forum where people (both men and women) woould post articles of real rape histories as fap folder and would try to dig the most details of these stories they could find, and would try to find photos of the female víctims.

And i avoid reading comments on rape stories because ive even seen victim blaming comments on stories where the rape victim was a 10 year old girl.

I guess porn truly has rotted men brains, where they see violent, hateful "sex" as normal or kinky. And many girls grew up reading violent degenerate fanfiction, so they think these stories are sexy or whatever.

Like I dont know. Perhaps im exaggerating, and I should lighten up. i cant help but remember feminists saying that no woman wants to be raped in response to assholes who claimed some women did, even if she found the man to be desirable, but the girls stating ir would be hot if it was Johnny depp are kinda undoing all that work. And i wonder if men would find it so 'fun' if it was a man telling a story about getting raped with a broken bottle.

Sorry to be vomiting all these words in your inbox lol. Im calmer right now. Guess im a little sensitive because it males me upset about how little people care about prostitutes and porn actresses and im doubting there will ever be an end to these industries. Men don't care. Women don't care. The only people who really care are radfems, a portion of Christians (lets be honest, many "christians" don't give a fuck) and some conservative people. And even then, some still put most of the blame on the prostituted instead of on the ones who create the demand (if theres no demand, theres no offer, simple as).

And like I said, i have no idea about this case, i'm no a depp stan or heard stan so its not really about them, just how messed up people act towards rape ahhhh

It's okay anon, my ask will always be open and I really appreciate how you and many other will share your insight about things that matter to you💜

Best advice I would give you anon is to realize that shit on the internet ≠ reality.

Yes, porn culture is widespread. Yes, violence is glamorized. Yes, weirdos fap themselves over female trauma...... but please, PLEASE for the sake of your mental wellbeing, just know that these websites are nothing but a tiny window of this World. Delete your TikTok & Instagram account. Slow down on 4chan/lolcow/kiwifarm because they will transform you into a cynical doomer. Tumblr should be on thin freaking ice. None of this is the reality. The degenerates displaying their obscenities aren't the norm.

Porn culture is a reality but some men are waking up. Look up the #nofap #pornfree movement. Good things are happening.

Beside radfem, Depp wk, and misogynist clout chasers, nobody cares about this trial. Most people only see crazy rich people tearing each other up. This case isn't gonna change the treatment of abused women worldwide and I hate whitefem acting like it did - they just obsess over it bc they relate to Heard, their bisexual White queen and also because they consider themselves as the standard of feminism ("if it happens to US now we're gonna care about it"). Note they NEVER had so much energy when another A+ celebrity (Megan Thee Stallion) got victim of abuse and she too got shredded into piece by crazy people online.... These whitefem they didn't care. They didn't wrote these corny post whining about how much step back for feminism it was🐊😭 (bc "feminism" couldn't be represented by a Black female rapper, you know 🙃)

See anon? This is only a circus. This performance outrage only manage to exhaust us mentally and make us fall into a doomer mentality. Terminally online people antics being continuously commented by terminally online people. Each defending its own little Chapel while pretending being more virtuous than the others. No wonder you feel drained by it.

Don't let the internet circus affect your mood.

#answered

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Love when people have me blocked because they find my contentious posts on rape/pedophilia/incest fic super objectionable, but for some reason still want to reblog my posts or find my meta interesting enough to make use of. Ah, man. Classic.

Its right up there with people who treat kinkshaming like a capital crime but think shaming survivors for having opinions or triggers and calling this them ‘playing the martyr’ is like, Totally Reasonable and Not At All Hypocritical.

(See also: Getting offended when survivors say “hey what if you didn’t call my trauma your kink?”)

Or my all-time fave, the “I care super-duper-hard about survivors, as you can see by my careful use of trigger warnings. Don’t be fooled by the way I actually just treat them as a liability waiver, as though by mere use of them, I am both protected from social consequence (aka people saying awful things like “I don’t think your right to feel good cuz people say “this fic you wrote about rape being hot is really sexy, kudos to you” is more important than survivors’ right to feel good by not having to constantly see people saying “this fic you wrote about rape being hot is really sexy, kudos to you”) as well as absolved of all emotional harm a survivor might experience by being lulled in by my compassionate posts about how much I care only to then feel betrayed by tags that express that lol actually tho I find rape super hot and sexy, PS no real people were harmed by the making of this fic, not even the ones who are reading these words and feeling harmed lol those ones don’t count they’re doing ‘having an emotional response to fiction’ wrong.”

Good times, good times.

There’s nothing at all entitled about people who want the freedom to express their creativity through any and all means possible, without any regard for boundaries or impact-upon-audience, but who at the exact same time don’t want the people whose experiences are literally the source material being used for sexual gratification here to have the freedom to express like.....how this makes them feel.

I mean, not if they’re gonna do it in a way that might make fic-writers feel bad about their choices or priorities at least.

After all, aren’t fic writers the REAL victims here?

#May the gods of irony protect me from the wrath of any who find this post more hurtful and offensive than the idea that their sexy fun times #can and does trigger PTSD responses in survivors whose feelings and triggers are a bit more complex than #*falls apart at teh mention/sight of past trauma ergo reading anything that might contain this trauma is their fault*#…..as opposed to stuff like *is triggered by seeing people express delight/appeal/appreciation for the pain/trauma being advertised by….tags #much like their own past victimizers expressed….delight/appeal/appreciation during the act of traumatizing/abusing/raping them*#Hey novel concept #Instead of trying to preemptively absolve yourselves of your impact on others by ASSUMING what they feel and what prompts them to feel that #and anything you might overlook or fail to consider is on them not you since you did your due diligence #Maybe like….consider doing things the other way around and instead of telling people to shut up when they say could you like…..#LISTEN TO US WHEN WE SAY HOW WE’RE AFFECTED WHEN YOU AFFECT US…..you could like….#ACTUALLY listen instead of busily preparing your rebuttal to your assumption of what they’re saying #And decide at THAT point whether or not you might happen to feel some measure of responsibility for how you affect those around you #Including those in your *fandom community*#And like…apply THIS line of thought and awareness and personal accountability into what you choose to do and prioritize going forward #Instead of making your entire approach to all of this being primarily about one thing only #How Can I Continue Doing Whatever I Want While Not Feeling Bad If It Clashes With Other People Wanting Things Like A Day In #Fandom Without Being Triggered:#a memoir by….Fanfic Writers Who Just Came Out To Have A Good Time and Are Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now #By Fanfic Readers Who Just Came Out To Have A Good Time and Are Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now #By Fics That Keep Telling Them That Their Traumas Are More Important In Terms of How They Entertain Others Than In Terms Of #How They Affect Actual Trauma Survivors’ Lives

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c-is-for-circinate · 3 years

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Like, is the gist "Real life pedophilia/incest/rape is bad, and stories saying these things are good are bad, but including these topics in a story isn't inherently bad, so the people being like 'hey, maybe Ao3 shouldn't have so much kiddie porn there's an entire category called "Underage"' are just overreacting and making things worse?" Because it feels like you're saying, "your negative reaction to this stuff is valid, but also you're annoying and prudish and bad and really you aren't valid."

So here’s the thing: it really does not sound like you're asking this question because you want my answer, it sounds like you want to be angry with me and have a fight. And fair enough! I'm not terribly interested in a fight, but apparently this is my day to dive into this topic as thoughtfully and honestly as I can be. Maybe I'll say something you haven't already heard from other people before. Maybe not! Only you, anonymous asker, know that.

To begin with, you got part of the gist right. Real life rape (including child abuse/child sexual abuse as well as incest) is bad. Stories about rape, about underage sex, and about incest, are stories.

They're stories. They're pixels on a screen. They're not real. Whether they claim that rape is good, or bad, or sexy, or melodramatic, or life-destroying, or a normal Tuesday afternoon. They're stories.

And having a negative reaction to them is valid. Stories can stir up powerful emotions in people. It is absolutely, 100%, fair and valid and even normal for there to be certain tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that make you upset and that you never want to see in a story you read, ever. You don't have to want to read about sex. You don't have to want to read any of it. That doesn't make you bad.

There are tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that upset me. There are stories I won't read. The same is true of literally everyone else I know. Even though I know the stories aren't real. Even though I know the things happening in them are happening to fictional characters, who do not exist, who I cannot protect and who also cannot be harmed because they're not real. Even then, I can be made sad and scared and upset and hurt by reading those stories. And that is okay and that is valid and I am not bad or wrong for being upset about the story I've read, and neither are you.

But that doesn't mean the story doesn't have value to somebody else. That doesn't mean the story isn't important to somebody else.

What I see most often coming from antis, possibly even including yourself, is an overwhelming desire to protect. They want to keep themselves and others--possibly people they know, possibly hypothetical people they may never meet--safe from being hurt by these stories. And that desire to protect, also, is normal. It's even admirable! The problem, though, the thing that does more harm than good, is when that desire to protect drives people to lash out against things that matter to other people.

There is a difference between actual rape and stories about rape. There is a difference between a story that could theoretically hurt somebody, someday (which is all stories, always), and a story that hurts you personally. And there is a difference between a story that hurts you personally, and a story that is inherently poisonous to everyone who touches it.

We know--absolutely, scientifically, incontrovertibly--that stories about rape do not make people rapists. Yes, even the stories where the rape is there to be sexy. Even stories where the person being raped is a child. Even then. Fiction is not the same thing as normalization; again, there are far smarter people who have written far more extensively on that topic than I, and next time I come across something that goes more into detail on this point I promise I will reblog it. If this really is the thing you're afraid of, I may not be the right person to convince you that this is an unfounded fear, but I know someone out there can elaborate on it.

(Unfounded, which is not the same thing as invalid. My mother's claustrophobia is unfounded; it flares up in many situations where there's no physical threat whatsoever, where she has plenty of space to move and air to breathe. It's still real. It still chokes her. It's still valid, she is not bad or broken to feel that way, and she still can't drive through certain tunnels. The fear is real. But the thing she's afraid of can't physically hurt her, and that is worth knowing in terms of how she deals with it.)

We know, absolutely, scientifically, and incontrovertibly, that stories about rape and many, many, many other things can hurt and even traumatize their readers. Even though the situation you're reacting to is not real and you receive no physical injury, you can still be hurt by it. The key word there, though, is readers. The fact that the horror genre is out there terrifying people who enjoy being terrified for fun does not damage me unless I do something stupid and try listening to the Magnus Archives again and end up tense and miserable and paranoid for the rest of the week. The fact that guacamole is apparently delicious to everybody else in the world does not hurt me unless I do something stupid and order the wrong thing at a restaurant, and end up itchy and miserable with a little trouble breathing for the rest of the night.

The fact that there are, yes, tens of thousands of fics on AO3 in which characters under the age of 18 have sex? It can't hurt you. Those fics do not hurt you by existing. They can only hurt you if you read them. They can only hurt anyone who reads them. That's why there is an 'Underage' tag--and it's worth noting, 'Underage' is a warning, not a category. Nobody wants you to get hurt reading the wrong fic, any more than the sushi chef wants my throat to swell up because I ordered something with avocado. Literally nobody wants that.

The flip side, of course, is that you hating each and every one of those fics individually and as a group doesn't actually hurt me, or anyone else who writes, reads, or enjoys them. By itself. You can hate anything you like, and fic writers can write anything they like, and it all comes out in the end, more or less. Except.

Except that reading fic is always, entirely, 100% opt-in, and online harassment isn't even opt-out. Some antis have a nasty habit of going after writers whose content they don't like; climbing into inboxes and comments sections, calling those writers nasty names, throwing around cruelties and aggression and insults. I know that's not the same thing as simply disliking a genre, or even passively disagreeing with its existence (although disliking a genre and disagreeing with its right to exist are also very different things). I know not all antis do that. I don't know you, anon, but based on the speed and aggressiveness of this response to my last post, I can't help but wonder if you would do that.

And that does hurt people. Just like it might hurt you if someone threw a bunch of content that makes you uncomfortable into your inbox. Including the harasser, actually--because getting into fights with strangers on the internet about things that make you angry, sad, defensive, and upset isn't good for anybody. Including both you and me.

Anyway, after yet another lengthy ramble, let's get the tl;dr response to your ask here: nobody is ever bad or wrong for disliking certain content in their stories, no matter what that content is. You and your emotions are valid. The "overreacting and making things worse" part isn't about what you feel, but what you do with it. Constantly engaging with places where the thing that upsets you will probably show up, even to argue and try to fight it, will make things worse in the sense that now you're spending way more time thinking about this thing that makes you upset and angry, thereby leaving you more upset and angry. Getting together with a bunch of your upset, angry friends to make your feelings everybody else's problem? Makes fandom a more toxic place for everyone else involved.

Don't read stuff that's going to hurt you. Don't make other people read stuff that's going to hurt them. That's the whole thing, really.

#Anonymous #asked and answered #rape cw #incest cw #discourse #anti discourse day

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fruitcoops · 3 years

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Hi Eve! Just wondering if you could write a coops smut where one of them wears lingerie? You sort of explored the concept in the Valentines Day smut where Sirius wore thigh highs, but i was maybe thinking a fic where one of them wears a full set. Its all completely up to you!

How about both? Happy smutty Monday, folks! Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove

TW for smut, subspace/ subdrop

It was Friday, and Remus was learning the glory of stockings on hockey thighs.

It was Thursday, and he began to wonder how to repay his lovely fiancé.

It was Sunday, two weeks after Valentine’s Day, and between flashes of thunder outside and damn near howls of pleasure into their traumatized pillows, Remus was still thinking about the socks.

It was Tuesday, a bye week, and the last piece of his plan clicked into place as Sirius hefted him further over the countertop by the muscle of his thigh with one hand keeping his chest flush to the cool marble.

It was Wednesday, and Remus smiled to himself as Sirius snuggled closer in the darkness of a quiet night in. He ran an absentminded hand through inky curls, relishing the soft puffs of Sirius’ breath on the hollow of his throat while their legs remained comfortably tangled. You have no idea what’s coming, he thought, letting his lips linger on Sirius’ forehead. No idea at all.

It was Sunday, and Remus had spent two minutes hyping himself up in the bathroom mirror. The rustling from their bedroom had stopped long before. “Alright, you can do this,” he murmured, leaning his hands on the edge of the sink. “You look hot. This isn’t weird. He’s gonna lose his fucking mind.”

“Mon loup?”

Anxiety leaped in Remus’ stomach. “One second!” he called back through the closed door. He stared at himself for a moment longer, then sighed. It was a stupid idea—there was no way Sirius would want to see him in something as silly as this. He looked ridiculous, and it wasn’t even worth it; any clothing would be off in a heartbeat anyway. Sirius always preferred skin-to-skin contact.

The lacy edge of the garter belt itched the peak of his hip as he blew out a slow breath. Did Remus still dream about Sirius’ thigh highs over a month later? Yes. Did that guarantee Sirius would have a similar reaction to seeing him in actual lingerie? Not necessarily.

Remus liked guarantees. They were safe. Soothing. Unquestionable.

“Are you alright?” Sirius’ voice floated through the door on a wave of concern.

Fuck it. The bathroom lights caught the silver buckles. It’s now or never. “You can’t laugh, okay?” he warned, closing a hand around the knob.

“I won’t. I have a surprise for you, too.”

That bit of curiosity gave him that last push of courage he needed to open the door and step out of the safety of the bathroom. His pulse skyrocketed, though whether it was from the sudden feeling of absolute exposure or the sight of Sirius waiting on their bed in some sort of sheer, lacy top, Remus couldn’t tell. Sirius stared at him, lips slightly parted. Remus cleared his throat and spread his hands. “Surprise?”

“Oh.”

“You look—you look great,” he managed lamely. There were a million better words to describe the lavender fabric cascading over the planes of Sirius’ chest, but his brain had been replaced by the blush prickling up his neck and face. Going for the basic black garter belt and underwear suddenly seemed subpar instead of classically sexy.

Sirius shifted on his knees and reached for him. “Viens ici.”

“It—” Remus faltered. His chest and legs were bare, save for the satiny clasps holding the garters in place on his thighs. Sirius was just staring, like he couldn’t believe his eyes. It had been a long time since he felt self-conscious around Sirius; every bit of missed embarrassment flooded back at once as he sat on the foot of the bed. “I liked your socks on Valentine’s Day, and I figured—I dunno. This is the surprise, by the way.”

“C’mere.” Sirius’ eyes finally flickered up to his face without a trace of judgement.

“I’m here.”

“Here,” Sirius repeated, tugging him over to straddle his lap with an arm around Remus’ waist. He kissed him, soft and slow but undeniably wanting, before he leaned back. “You look so handsome, mon coeur.”

“Yeah?”

“Ouais.” And, god, if Remus didn’t love the way his voice curled around that word, turning it into a million perfectly lazy syllables.

He rolled the hem of Sirius’ top between his fingers and hummed against his mouth. “This is new.”

“You like it?”

“Mhmm.” It was hard to tear his eyes away from the shadow of muscle beneath the delicate fabric.

Mischief flickered over Sirius’ face. “It’s called a ‘babydoll’. Thought you might get a kick out of that.”

“Babydoll for my baby,” Remus teased, kissing his nose with a playful tug to the lace edges. Sirius’ gaze slipped back down to his lap—no, his legs—and his fingers toyed with the seam of the accompanying underwear. Remus placed a light kiss to the shell of his ear, watching every twitch of his hands. “What do you want?”

“To look at you.” There was nothing but honesty when Sirius glanced back to him. The intensity of it sent a spark up Remus’ spine; he had grown so used to Sirius’ general aura of focus that he had nearly forgotten what it felt like wholly directed on him.

“And…?”

“And nothing. Just to look.” Nervousness flickered across his fine features as he settled back against the headboard and pulled Remus with him. “Just for a minute, and then we can do whatever you—”

Remus silenced him with a kiss, bracketing his waist with his palms. The babydoll was like water under his touch, but Sirius was as solid as ever. “This is for you,” he said when they separated. “You can look for as long as you like.”

Except Sirius didn’t only want to look—he wanted to touch. That fact was made clear within seconds, when the hands smoothing up and down Remus’ thighs in rhythmic motions began dipping beneath the straps of his garter belt and sliding up to his narrow hips, then hooked around the backs of his bent knees. Sirius pressed one palm flat over his abs and Remus shivered, trailing his lips down his neck. He wasn’t aroused in the lightning-fast please please I need you now kind of way, but more of an I’m about to float into space if you don’t keep touching me like a treasure buzz.

“Re, honey,” Sirius murmured. It was only then that Remus realized most of his breaths were coming in short pants instead of kisses. The nickname was one of his favorites, reserved for the times when he was well and truly gone; it was more tender than mon coeur, and worlds more intimate than his own name or even sweetheart. He nipped the edge of Sirius’ jaw and felt him gasp.

Remus licked his lips as he pulled away just enough to speak. “D’you want me to take it off?”

“Never.”

He smiled. “It has to come off if you want to fuck me.”

“Deux pièces.” The arm around his lower back tightened as one hand came to rest on his ass, which was still fully covered by lace-lined black fabric. Remus had opted for the ‘boyshort’ choice, as it looked to be the most likely to prevent slippage.

That, and it had fewer strappy bits. The buckles were hard enough to figure out—adding an accidental wedgie into the mix seemed like a poor idea.

“Yeah, but the important piece can only come off if I take the fun one off first,” Remus explained, snapping one of the ties. Sirius stared at it for a long moment before blinking slowly.

“Are you sure?”

“Giving me puppy eyes isn’t going to flip this inside out, babes,” Remus laughed. “Two seconds.”

“But you’ll keep the fun part on, right?” Sirius slid down to lay next to him while he wrestled with the garter belt, hissing curses each time the buckles pinched his fingers. It was, quite possibly, the least sexy thing he had ever done. That did not seem to deter his fiancé—if anything, watching Remus struggle with black satin strips in the dark while laying flat on his back appeared to be the highlight of Sirius’ day.

The fog in his head cleared a bit as he worked his underwear down his thighs, being careful not to mess with the garters too much. It had taken him five full minutes to get the damn things on in the first place, and he wasn’t exactly in the mood to waste another five that could be spent in much more pleasurable ways. “The ‘fun part’—” Remus couldn’t spare a hand to do air quotes, but he hoped Sirius got the gist. “—is a lot more trouble than it’s worth.”

“Nope.”

He paused. “You’re not the one losing a fight to a few scraps of fabric.”

Sirius met his eyes, looking every inch the fallen angel with his hair splayed over the pillow and his lavender whatever-the-hell-glory pooling at his mid-chest. “Do you want me to take it off for you?”

“I thought you wanted the fun part to stay on.”

“Here.” Remus barely managed to kick the underwear off his ankles before Sirius shuffled over to lay between his thighs and attach his mouth just beneath the left garter.

“Oh, fuck me,” Remus huffed, letting his head fall back against the pillows.

“Gimme a minute,” Sirius said into his skin while he licked a stripe up to the first buckle and carefully pulled it down to hook into its proper place. Remus arched his back, only to be pushed down a moment later as Sirius electrified patches of skin he didn’t even know he had. Teeth slipped along the curve of his muscle and nibbled just above the back of his knee; Remus clenched his hands in the sheets with a shuddering inhale and tried his best to keep his wits about him.

By the time Sirius moved on to his other thigh, he was a goner. He could practically feel his pulse through his dick and the fog had returned with a vengeance, blurring the world at the edges while he let go of the tension in his back. How could he possibly be stressed when Sirius was saying such pretty things? The warmth of lips on his thighs disappeared and he stretched his arms above his head, relishing in his own contentment and Sirius’ light laugh. “You’re lovely,” he mumbled. Really, it was the only appropriate word for the occasion.

There was a rustling sound next to him, but Remus didn’t bother paying attention to what it was—Sirius’ weight all around him was more than enough to occupy—

“Oh.” His eyes flashed open as a lube-slick finger pushed into him to the first knuckle. “Oh.”

“Were you listening?” Sirius sounded faintly amused. Remus smiled lazily; he must have missed a joke (or a warning) somewhere in the tumble of words from that lovely pout. He rocked his hips onto Sirius’ finger, stretching one leg out as the other remained bent and tilted away. It was only kept in place by Sirius’ free hand, but even the idea of being held sent a tingling feeling all the way to his toes.

“How many?” Remus asked, looping his arms under Sirius’ to pull him closer. He needed warmth, and the smooth familiarity of Sirius’s chest against his own. He needed the encompassing feeling of being covered, which had yet to fade, no matter how much more muscle he gained.

Sirius smiled into the side of his neck. “Two.”

“Really?”

“Mhmm. Are you still with me?”

“Sure.” The world zoomed back into 3D focus when Sirius’ fingers brushed his sweet spot and Remus gripped his shoulder blades with a hitch of breath—his free leg jerked inward at the sudden shift. “There. There, now.”

“I have other plans, sweetheart.”

“Now,” Remus insisted. He would give Sirius anything he wanted if it meant he could feel that thrill again. Their bedroom was dim, but the lights popping at the corners of his vision as Sirius closed a hand around his shaft and continued sliding two fingers into him were so very bright. Remus moved his hands down from Sirius’ shoulders to his hips, then lower to give him a hint. “Now?”

“I was going to do three—”

“Now,” Remus said, brooking no room for argument. He pushed Sirius’ chest until he rolled onto his back—bless the man for his quick thinking skills, because Remus’ new muscle still wasn’t enough to manhandle him properly—and settled himself into his previous position on Sirius’ lap.

A dark eyebrow arched, though his dilated pupils gave away Sirius’ true feelings. “Like this?”

“You said you wanted to look, didn’t you?” Thinking back, Remus couldn’t imagine how he could ever have been worried about this. He took a few deep breaths as he sank down, biting hard on his lip against the dizzy want prodding the edges of his mind. This needed to last. Sirius’ mouth was cherry red and wet when he glanced down, fully seated and feeling rather confident about the whole thing. “Then look.”

The first rock of his hips brought a whimper from plush lips and Remus grinned; he took Sirius’ hands and planted them on his thighs before bracing his own against the broad planes of his chest. Silky fabric parted under his palms and his smile widened into giddiness as he slid his hands beneath it to rest on warm skin. Sirius pushed the side of his face into the pillow with a huff of breath.

“No,” Remus panted as he continued to move, pulling Sirius’ chin back up. His hands were shaking when he cupped his face. “Look. L—look at me.”

Sirius’ brows pitched and his silver gaze flickered down to the garter belt; Remus let his head fall back as long fingers toyed with the straps, sometimes tugging gently, sometimes snapping fireworks through his legs. The power shift between them ebbed and flowed like the tide. He wanted a tsunami.

He worked the words around in his mouth for a moment, unsure of how to ask for what he wanted. One of Sirius’ hands traveled to his back and began moving in steady presses up and down his spine. “Fuck me,” Remus pleaded.

A synchronized roll of their hips made them both moan. “I am,” Sirius said breathlessly.

Remus licked his lips and made a valiant effort to get air back into his lungs. “Please.”

His expression must have made the message clear enough, because understanding rippled across the puzzlement on Sirius’ face in mere moments; with a firm squeeze, Remus’ hips stopped cold. Mistake, his brain thought immediately as Sirius’ dick rested directly on his prostate. Mistake, mistake, keep moving or you’re gonna—

“Remus.”

The whine that tore from his mouth would have been embarrassing if he had any self-conscious braincells left to spare. He bit his lip again, teetering on a knife’s edge while his thighs shook and his knees slid on the sheets.

“Deep breaths.”

One.

“One more for me.”

Two. He was wheezing slightly with the effort of keeping down his moans.

“Try again.”

A frustrated grumble built in his chest, but he obliged. Three. The air was warm and smelled like Sirius; it was intoxicating. His next breath was even deeper, and he let it fill him.

“Good job.”

Something in Remus perked its ears up and he managed a lopsided smile, blinking his eyes open to look down at Sirius. His face was still soft, but his eyes had a tarnished edge to them that sent a shiver down Remus’ spine and nearly undid all his hard work.

“Color?”

He didn’t hesitate. “Green.”

“Are you slipping?”

Slipping, slipped, gone for good, he thought. “Mhmm.”

Sirius laid him back down, catching himself from sliding out at the last second. Remus arched his back at the slow press in. “How do you want it?”

“I already told you twice,” he said, planting a kiss to Sirius’ upper lip. The warm touch around his thighs had not faltered yet. “Come on, Captain, you know what I want.”

Sirius positioned his legs to wrap around his waist and kissed him fully, stealing the breath from Remus’ body in one fell swoop as he began to move his hips again; the pace increased so steadily that Remus nearly lost himself in it. The lace of the garter belt no longer itched, but slid in a blissful rhythm instead. The bits of cold where the small buckles rubbed against his skin were a mind-melting contrast to the cocoon of warmth he sank into.

“M—” Remus didn’t even get the word out before Sirius gave him a hard thrust and pressed their tangled fingers further into the mattress. He muffled a shout into the dip of his shoulder and sucked a mark there between moans. “Oh, fuck, Sirius.”

His head was spinning with the mixture of sensations—he had been so focused on being full that he almost forgot about the hand still moving terribly slow along his shaft. One leg kicked out on its own accord and he twitched, one hip canting upward until Sirius held it back down without breaking stride. Remus’ breaths were little more than staccato moans; he knew bringing out Sirius’ dominant side was an easy switch to flip, but he hadn’t been expecting the change to be quite so sudden. Not that he was complaining, of course.

Sirius let go of his hand to drag his leg back up, fingertips digging in just below the garter as the new angle drew a desperate ‘holy shit’ from Remus and a squeak of protest from their bedsprings. He had forgotten how long it had been since Sirius truly railed his lights out—the tingling sensation racing through his thighs and up to his chest was a welcome companion.

And he began to laugh.

Breathless and practically hiccups, but a laugh all the same. He could see Sirius’ confusion in his mind’s eye despite the fact that he had given up on trying to keep his eyes open several thrusts prior. The movement slowed. “What?” Sirius asked. “What’s so funny?”

“I fucking love you,” Remus said between gasps.

“Why are you laughing?”

“I don’t know.” Something warm slid down his cheek. “It’s so good and I can’t—I don’t know. Keep moving, please, please.”

Sirius’ thumb swiped across his cheekbone and he picked up the pace again; Remus’ shocked laughter faded back into panting and babbling within a few seconds, but the pure elation didn’t slip until he felt his orgasm approaching and resorted to leaving a trail of sloppy kisses along the line of Sirius’ collarbone and neck. Sirius liked his mouth, liked feeling it on him, and Remus could tell that he was getting close by the heat building under his palms where he struggled to find a handhold.

“I l—I lo—I love you,” he managed, adding a love bite to his collection around a groan. They were both sweaty messes, but the salt on his lips was exactly what he wanted.

“I love you, too.” Sirius’ voice was just as labored as his own, buzzing against every pleasure center Remus had.

“I lo—” He broke off with a strangled shout as Sirius squeezed the sensitive part of his thigh at the same time as a thrust. There was nowhere for his mouth to go. He bit down hard on instinct.

Sirius hissed in pain and Remus immediately pulled away, feeling frantic and worried and awful. “Ow.”

“ ‘m sorry,” he said, still a little wild as he covered Sirius’ cheek in apologetic kisses and searched for a hand to hold. “ ‘m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I promise.”

“It’s okay,” Sirius assured him, soothing his hands as they skimmed across his body. “Just surprised me.”

“Didn’t mean to hurt you.” Horror tried to push in around the tangle of joy-want-need-more, but there simply wasn’t room. Remus settled for running his trembling fingers through Sirius’ hair and kissing him gently. He hoped it would be enough.

“You didn’t hurt me,” Sirius said against his lips, rubbing circles with his thumb in the crease of Remus’ hip and thigh. The whirlwind in his head calmed to tv static—the world tunneled to them and their bed. Remus buried his face in Sirius’ neck and slid deep under.

He registered the pressure of Sirius’ hands and the feeling of his own throat pouring out nonsense; he felt his muscles clench and the slide of satin on sweaty skin before balling his fists so tight in Sirius’ babydoll top that it nearly tore. He heard his own breaths become shallow, knew it was Sirius’ hand running along the crown of his dick, and finally, finally shuddered apart with a hitching whine.

“Re, honey.”

Remus sighed through his nose and held him close. He was beyond comfortable, if not a little sticky. Again, his body suggested.

No, his brain answered immediately.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

No.

“I can’t,” Remus slurred.

Lips pressed against the corner of his mouth. “What can’t you do?”

“Go again.”

He felt laughter from the weight above him—Sirius, his brain supplied with a happy fizz down his back—and let his legs be pulled back down to the mattress. “Yeah, not a chance.”

The warmth inside him slipped away and he winced. “Put it back.”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“Cause we’re definitely done.” The laughter returned, bright as a summer day, and he rubbed his face in the hollow of angular collarbones where the vibration was strongest. “How are you feeling?”

“Noodle.”

“Okay, sweetheart.”

Remus closed his eyes and stifled a yawn; the world could wait until he was done with his nap.

“Hey.” Someone tapped his hip and he frowned. “No falling asleep yet.”

“I’m tired.”

“I know, but we need water and a shower.”

Remus squirmed around until he could fix Sirius with a look. “Can’t stand up.”

“You hate sleeping while you’re sweaty.”

Fair point. Remus became suddenly and harshly aware of how sticky he was and pulled a face, flexing his fingers on Sirius’ back. The high was softening; he felt more settled in himself already. He nudged Sirius until he laid down, then curled into his ribs with an arm and a leg slung over his body. The aftershocks raced in pops of lightning down his legs. “Teddy bear.”

“Hmm?”

“Teddy bear,” he repeated. “ ’s all you are, at the end of the day. I love it. I love you.”

Sirius pulled him closer and kissed his temple. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” He stretched all four limbs and felt his elbow pop, then relaxed. “Much better. Alright, I need to get this thing off.”

If trying to put the garter belt on had been difficult, it was nothing compared to forcing his unsteady and sweat-slick fingers to get it off. “Do you need some help?” Sirius asked, amused.

“No.”

He struggled for a moment longer, spoiling the sweetness of the drop with frustration, before Sirius’ hands replaced his own and carefully untied each strap so he could get it off properly. “There you go.”

Remus kicked it to the floor and glared balefully at it. “I love you, but I’m never wearing that again.”

“Never?”

“Maybe one more time,” he conceded. The confidence boost had been dizzying. “As long as you keep this.”

Sirius looked down at where Remus’ fingers were tugging with the hem of his slip. “I really like it, too.”

“The color’s nice.”

“C’mere.” Sirius wrapped his other arm around Remus’ shoulders and drew him in for a snuggle, rubbing his back with one hand. “Let me know when I can get us some water, okay?”

“You can go, if you need to.”

“Really?”

He hesitated, then moved his head to rest above Sirius’ heartbeat. “No.”

“D’accord.” Sirius kissed his forehead again.

Remus lasted three minutes before he couldn’t stand the tacky feeling of the lube any longer, but those three minutes were the coziest he could remember. Sirius was warm and traced patterns over his bare skin; his soft lips decorated Remus’ face, simultaneously lulling him and keeping him from falling asleep. With a sigh, he detached his arms. “Okay.”

“I’ll be right back,” Sirius promised. The room was darker without him—the bed stayed warm. Remus scooted over into the indent he left and basked in the memory, cataloguing his aches. Abs? Sore. Arms? Still good. Thighs? A bit chafed from lace, but alright. Neck? Scattered with love bites he couldn’t recall receiving, though that was a fairly common occurrence.

“That was quick,” he mumbled when the other side of the mattress dipped.

Sirius shrugged. The babydoll shift was tragically absent. “The usual two minutes, actually.”

“Must have zoned out,” he hummed, leaning into the cool washcloth on his face. A few tears always slipped out when they dipped into rougher territory, though he never felt sad. It was just…overwhelming, in the best way.

Sirius cleaned his thighs with the same careful touch as his face before handing him a cup of water. “Are you hungry?”

“Nope.” Remus downed the glass in two gulps and opened his arms. “Bedtime.”

“No pajamas?” Sirius asked with a laugh, though he obliged and let Remus laminate himself to his side.

“Unnecessary.”

“No shower?”

His instinctive response was god no, cuddles take precedence and I’m dead on my feet, but a shower did sound nice. Sirius washing his hair, scrubbing the last bits of shakiness and his drop away, going to bed clean…

“Alright,” he agreed grudgingly. “We’re probably going to need to change the sheets, too.”

“That can wait until we’re done.” And before he could even attempt to stand on his own, Sirius gathered him into his arms and hoisted him off the bed. If he wasn’t afraid he’d fall flat on his face without help, Remus would have protested. “Mon dieu, I forgot how muscly you are now.”

“Says the man who can’t stop ogling me whenever I take my shirt off,” Remus teased, then frowned when he saw the purpling bruise on Sirius’ neck. “Holy shit, my dentist could identify me with that thing. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Sirius paused in the bathroom doorway and kissed him hard, stirring the last dregs of arousal in Remus’ gut. “You have blanket permission to do that whenever you like.”

Remus gaped at him, speechless. “Well, that’s not fair,” he managed. “I’m tired.”

“Not a bad way to spend a Sunday night,” Sirius mused. His sneaky squeeze of Remus’ ass did not go unnoticed. “In my personal opinion, of course.”

“Of course,” Remus said drily. Maybe a shower wasn’t the worst idea after all. His knees weren’t nearly sore enough yet.

#remus lupin #sirius black #coops #smut #my fic #fanfic #sweater weather #vaincre #lumosinlove #lingerie #subspace #subdrop

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isozyme · 4 years

Note

:salt: what do you think fandom generally gets wrong?

belatedly: more salty opinions

this one goes out to both the untamed and fandom in general, none of y’all are free from sin

every damn one of you vanilla ass virgins and diehard BDSM hall monitors needs to quit it with the handwringing “but where are the safewords” shit.

safewords aren’t the be-all end-all of kink safety! and nobody is handwringing this much about “but condoms” or “but where’s the shears while they’re doing rope bondage in case somebody panics” or “how long have those nipple clamps been on?” because for those things people seem to understand that it’s porn and “you have to be careful with abruptly pulling long hair because you might fuck up someone’s neck” isn’t fun and sexy to read about. smut is for fun! the author controls whether or not there’s accidents, so if i’m reading something that’s just a kinky pwp, i assume that no inconvenient practicalities are going to rear their head the way they always might irl. included in “inconvenient practicalities” is being prepared someone might need to safeword out.

sometimes there’s a good reason to put in a safeword discussion: maybe badwrong sexy bit includes someone starting to have a bad time and the presence/absence of a safeword gives the sex scene tension. maybe one character is kinking on inexperience and enjoying leading their partner through the basics in detail. some story justification! something more than “oh right and i need to be a Responsible Porn Writer and include the safeword discussion”

fanfiction isn’t sex ed anymore than pornhub is! you can learn stuff from it, sure (there’s some creative stuff out there on the internet) but it’s not a how-to guide.

but all that isn’t even what i’m most steamed about!

the thing that makes me insane is the idea that you have to have a safeword for all kink activities. safewords are for consent play! there is absolutely no reason that saying “no” or yanking yourself away shouldn’t be sufficient outside of roleplay. otherwise, you know what is a good way to make your partner stop hitting you? saying “stop hitting me.”

if you’re using a safeword as the big consent marker, then there’s only one way to say stop. if you’re not, there’s a thousand ways to say no. body language! tone of voice! a very wide range of vocabulary! there are also a thousand ways to say yes that aren’t “green,” and you can add “stops conveying yes/enjoyment” to the ways to say no. you don’t have to remember a special vocabulary word to be able to say “hey, bad spot, back off.” more importantly, the person hitting you has no excuse to not pay attention to that signal because it’s “well it’s not a safeword sooooo.....”

there’s just such a big difference between how somebody enjoying themselves acts and someone who isn’t! it’s almost always fucking obvious. people who try to convince you it’s all subtle and confusing are not good people.

like: “ah, fuck, that hurts so bad, i can’t, i can’t -- oh my god, no, not again, please please please!”

versus: “whoa, uh-uh, that was too much. ow. i need a five minute break.”

one of those examples has the word “no” in it. it’s not the one that should bring things to an absolute screeching halt. the difference in tone is stark, and would be even starker with an actual voice behind it.

another example with consent play!

compare: “oh no, it’s so big, don’t put it in me! i won’t be able to take it! if you touch me there i’ll be ruined forever!”

to: “wait, i’m getting freaked out, let’s stop playing.”

most fic is writing about characters who know each other really well and should be able to read the body language of their partner. a lot of rules and safety precautions are most applicable when two people who don’t know each other super well are having sex and needing to have things you can point to and say “you agreed if i said red, you would stop, and when i said it you didn’t stop” with no room grey areas. if you have a bad actor in the room, they’ll take any chance they get to say they got mixed signals and how could they have known. two characters who love each other should be different! and in that vein: a lot of kink irl is done with dominant men and submissive women, so the dom is physically a LOT stronger than the sub. so many m/m ships are between characters with basically equal strength and there’s an element of fear that just isn’t present the same way.

a safeword is a big stressful thing to use -- there’s a lot of weight and seriousness put behind it. plus if it’s some cutesy thing you have to remember it under duress, that seems hard! there’s not enough nuance in a single word to easily make the difference clear between “i’m getting a leg cramp” and “if you touch me one more time i’m going to feel traumatized.” in some ways, this obsession with safewords makes me worry about the false safe of security given by following the rulebook. ticking off all the boxes on the consent to-do list isn’t a substitute for using your goddamn human social skills that you’ve been developing for 18 YEARS AT ABSOLUTE MINIMUM!

personally, asking if someone is “green” is also deeply unsexy in my book, akin to my arbitrary hatred of the word “panties,” but that’s less serious, and you’re free to disagree. the rest you can fight me about if you want, but i’m right and you’ll lose

#doing my best to get cancelled on the internet today #kinky sex is still sex!#''no'' works great for flogging AND fucking!#Anonymous #belatedly ETA: real life is not fanfiction #my thoughts on safewords irl are different form my thoughts about them in fic!#although some of the same body language thoughts do apply

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makeste · 3 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 294: A Half-Assed Escape

Previously on BnHA: Mirio was all “SURPRISE I’M BACK THANKS TO OUR RESIDENT SEVEN-YEAR-OLD WHO RECENTLY EARNED HER BACHELOR’S OF BEING A TOTAL BADASS.” Kacchan was all, “you know what, Dabi’s been trending long enough, time to remind the fandom what a real G looks like,” and he blasted his little bleeding body back into the fray and was all “FROM HERE ON OUT CALL ME DYNAMIGHT!!” Mirio was all, “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... oh, you’re serious,” and Kacchan was all “!!”, and so that’s the story of how my son got murdered twice in one day. Meanwhile in the Todoroki Drama Zone, Deku was all “STOP MURDERING MY FRIEND” and Dabi was all “THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” and fandom had a whole big debate about Whether Or Not Dabi Trying To Murder Deku’s Friends And Mentors Is Any Of Deku’s Business, which went exactly how you think it went. Anyway, so then Deku yelled at Dabi, and Endeavor was all moved by his manly words and randomly went to go uppercut Machia in the chin. And, seeing as how the Momoserum finally chose that exact moment to kick in, Machia is now down for the count.

Today on BnHA: The Miriosquad handles the Nearly High End Noumus, freeing up Jeanist to jasphyxiate (okay that one doesn’t really work so well) the rest of the League. Compress is all “TIME FOR THIS MILD-MANNERED SIDE CHARACTER VILLAIN TO SHINE”, except that by “shine” what he actually means is “use his quirk to punch a literal hole right through his own ass to free himself.” The rest of the chapter is basically just a back and forth between him and Jeanist, with Jeanist trying to recapture him, and Compress repeatedly thwarting him by chopping more holes out of himself because HE’S FRESH OUT OF FUCKS, AND THE ONES AT THE STORE ARE ALL SOLD OUT, MOTHERFUCKERS. Anyway, so with Compress basically dying and all, Horikoshi is all “you know what that means”, and delivers a freshly-baked villain flashback revealing that Compress is a descendant of Harima Ouji, a.k.a. the Peerless Thief, a.k.a. some famous guy whom Gentle mentioned this one time for like two seconds back in the day. The chapter ends with Compress finally demasking himself and dumping Tomura back onto the ground, a.k.a. The Worst Possible Place For Tomura To Be. ( •﹏•)

WHY IS CRUST HERE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

-- OH WAIT, SHIT. OH

AIZAWAAAA you’re alive and receiving medical help thank GOD. HOW MANY EYES DO YOU HAVE. AND MIRKO!! HOW MANY LIMBS DO YOU HAVE, OMG

so is this Aizawa dreaming about Crust’s final moments, then?? jesus. with All Due Respect to Crust’s memory, does Aizawa not already have enough misplaced guilt on his conscience as it is?? “nope, we’re gonna keep piling it on. that’s all he is now. three limbs, an indeterminate number of eyes, sexy hair, and Guilt” well shit

motherfucker y’all really out here placing an oxygen mask on Gran Torino’s corpse. fucking shounen characters. each one comes with a lifetime warranty

DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI WHY DO YOU KEEP SHOWING THESE CLOSE-UPS OF HAWKS’S UNCONSCIOUS FACE ALL WHUMPED OUT AND EXHAUSTED. HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS ARE WE GOING TO GET. ARE YOU PLANNING ON KILLING ME WITH THE UPCOMING CONVALESCENCE ARC, BECAUSE IF SO, AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL ME AHEAD OF TIME SO I CAN MAKE A WILL

for a moment I considered going back and checking my previous recaps to count how many times I’ve already made a joke about Dabi’s fire incinerating Hawks’s wings but not touching so much as a hair on his five o’clock shadow, so that I could calculate whether or not I could possibly get away with making that same joke one more time. but then I realized I could just do it in this kind of roundabout way I’m doing right now instead. so there you have it

FFFFFFFMT LADY AND MIDNIGHT NOOOOO

PLEASE BE ALIVE. PLEASE RESPECT THE SIGN ON THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING. THE ONE THAT SAYS “NO LADY CHARACTERS ALLOWED TO DIE”, WITH THE FINE PRINT AT THE BOTTOM “AT LEAST NOT UNTIL HORIKOSHI GIVES US LIKE TWENTY-SIX MORE OF THEM FIRST IF THAT’S THE WAY HE WANTS TO PLAY IT.” IT’S A GOOD SIGN, PLEASE RESPECT ITS WISHES!!

so anyway though, Jeanist is giving a speech about how god knows how many people all worked together to bring Machia down. and now RHA is getting in on those fabric puns too, I see. “A SINGLE STRAND MAY BE THIN BUT TOGETHER THEY FORM A STRONG ROPE” oh so you think you guys are funny eh? I’m a frayed knot

MEANWHILE EXCUSE ME BUT WHY ARE YOU FUCKING CRYING BLOOD, HOLY SHIT

fffffff. so much for him taking over as the Number One once all this is over. so let’s just recap real quick, because Horikoshi has long since made it clear that one of his plot goals for this arc is to wipe out every single member of the Billboard Top Ten. so how we doin?

Endeavor - was just figuratively eviscerated in front of the entire nation by his homicidal zombiepunk son. also burnt half to death and possibly down a lung. will almost certainly be forced to retire after this one way or the other

Hawks - lying prettily in a medical tent. wings status: gone. hair status: still perfect

Jeanist - WELL I THOUGHT HE WAS FINE BUT APPARENTLY HE’S OUT HERE DYING, JESUS CHRIST

Edgeshot - MIA, last seen fighting Re-Destro. I really want him to have kicked RD’s ass because fuck that guy, but realistically they probably fought to a draw at best

Mirko - alive but in critical condition and missing something like 1.5 limbs

Crust - dead, currently haunting Aizawa’s traumatized dreams. now he’s gonna be triggered the rest of his life by people giving him the thumbs up, THANKS A LOT

Kamui Woods - was set on fire which is His Weakness. thoughts and prayers

Wash - last seen floating hospital patients to safety as Tomura’s wave of decay descended towards him. probably dead ffff

Old Man Samurai - haven’t seen this fucker in a hot minute, who even knows where he’s wandered off to

Ryuukyuu - currently being treated for her wounds, looked pretty bad off. but it’s hard to tell how hurt she is since most of the injuries were acquired in her transformed state. SHE BETTER GET WELL SOON

anyways, so yeah. so much for the top ten. guess that’s another reason Horikoshi brought Mirio back now, huh

so there’s a big panel of everyone fighting the Noumu while Machia lies there all “blurgh.” good riddance my dude. it took like twenty chapters and a hundred people to stop this guy so I really fucking hope he stays down. you’ve had your fun

anyway so Jeanist is sending another steel thread towards Dabi! and he’s all “just a bit more!!” fklklj this is gonna go real well isn’t it

meanwhile Mirio’s fighting a Nearly High End with all of these weird rock formations jutting out of its skin. go on and kick his ass then, Mirio

“each of these guys is probably just as strong as the Noumu from Kyuushuu” hold on I thought Ujiko or Tomura or someone said that wasn’t the case? not that Mirio would know I suppose. anyways let’s just hope he’s wrong cuz if not these kids are probably screwed

kLSDKFHLSKHGLKLK OH MY GODDDD

IIDA FUCKING TENYA YOU’RE A PEACH. THINKS THE NAME IS OUTRAGEOUS, CHECK. USES IT ANYWAY, CHECK. “JUST BECAUSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T BE SUPPORTIVE.” WHAT A CLASS ACT

AND KACCHAN IS RESPONDING WITH AS MUCH DIGNITY AS HE CAN MUSTER

WOW, SON. IT’S ALMOST AS THOUGH YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO, OR SOMETHING!! although listen up, real talk, the fact that Kacchan of all people can’t muster the energy to yell at someone questioning his ability to kick ass is HIGHKEY troubling and we may be in need of an intervention here soon :/

now Jeanist is finally turning his attention to the League! was... was it not already on the League. omg

ACTUAL SCREAMING AHHHHHH FUCK FUCKLK LK AHHLKHKFFFF

hey so um. what the actual fucked up hell. my soul left my body. imagine if you saw the reflection of this panel on your bedroom window. you would never sleep again

OKAY RHA TRANSLATORS ARE YOU HAVING YOURSELF A LAUGH AGAIN

THIS CANNOT BE WHAT HE’S ACTUALLY SAYING RIGHT. BUT IT’S RIGHT IN THAT UNCANNY VALLEY OF NOT BEING QUITE SURE, THOUGH... (　ﾟдﾟ)

(ETA: just a next-day clarification here, apparently my sleep-deprived ADHD word-skipping brain completely skipped right over the “a” in that last panel, so what I read was, “and Shigaraki’s limp noodle.” so yeah, the moral of this story is always read the speech bubble carefully before you start making running jokes throughout the rest of your post, folks.)

oh wow he’s really freaking out lmao

to be fair though, I’d argue that Dabi has gotten pre-tty close at this point :’) thrilled for him, really I am

but anyway, well then figure something out you big dramatic robot-armed fiend. didn’t you just say you could touch your own ass? can you not just Compress yourself to break free?? does it not work on you? or would you be stuck afterwards lol

(ETA: I was picturing him compressing his entire body at once, not just chunks of it. ghhhlkh.)

holy shit Jeanist. are you stupidly trying to cut off their air, or are you going for more of a sleeper hold (jleeper hold??) thing instead. the latter would be way smarter and faster and probably safer as well just saying

but unless Spinner is just being super dramatic, it sure looks like he’s fucking strangling them djslkjlk. this will certainly cement his popularity among the villain stans. good thing you’re not running for office any time soon bud

anyway so I have no idea what these guys are trying to do now. what is this

do you even have till the count of 5 at this rate. I mean

OH MY GOODNESS

HE’S REALLY FUCKING DOING IT!! HE’S COMPRESSING HIS BUTT!! OMFG. TOMURA HIDE YOUR NOODLE!!!

WHAT THE FUCK

DID YOU COMPRESS A PIECE OF YOUR OWN ASS. FUCKING WHAT. PUT THIS MAN’S PICTURE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO THE WORD “LOYALTY”, HOLY CRAP

HOLY SHIT COMPRESS

“HOLY SHIT DID THAT GUY JUST PUNCH A HOLE THROUGH HIS OWN ASS IN ORDER TO SAVE HIS VILLAIN PALS. FUCK IT, HE DESERVES TO ESCAPE”

jeez, talk about... A HALF-ASSED ESCAPE ATTEMPT :D :D :D hahaha. but real talk though, Horikoshi has clearly never tried to leap twelve feet straight up in the air multiple times in succession with only half his glutes though. everyone, I regret to inform you that this panel right here on the left may be slightly unrealistic

also where the hell is he going to go?? did you pack a jetpack away in one of those little marbles sir. and what about Dabi?? and Skeptic too, I guess, but we don’t really care about Skeptic

(ETA: at this point I had to stop reading for about two hours because I had to go out and take care of something; that’s also why this is being posted later than usual lol. anyways so where were we.)

oh my lord

the existence of a translator’s note here implies that the earlier line about Compress being able to reach Tomura’s junk was not, in fact, ad-libbed. hmm. hmmmmmmmm

anyway so now he’s grabbing Compress again because OF COURSE HE IS, so now we’re right back to square one! except now Tomura and Spinner are secured inside of little marbles, and presumably Compress is the only one who can release them

oh nevermind he’s just maiming himself again instead, SHEESH

Skeptic a man is dying please have some goddamn respect

so, uh. is he gonna die, though??

I really can’t tell wtf is going on here, this is the most confusing the art has been in a while. Horikoshi put all of his spoons into that creepyass close-up panel earlier, that bastard

OMG WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS

DON’T FUCKING TELL ME THE “COMPRESS IS RELATED TO THIS THIEF GUY FROM OLDEN TIMES” THEORY IS ACTUALLY TRUE WHAAAAAAT. OH SHIT

so apparently Harima was a Robin Hood type guy who stole from... heroes?? wtf. are heroes the 1% in this scenario. y’all didn’t have any Fortune 500 CEOs to steal from?

THAT’S THE BLOOD THAT FLOWS THROUGH YOU, OH SHIT. and in a related oh shit, the fact that we are getting a Compress flashback now of all times doesn’t bode super well for him. ffff

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKIS ARE STILL TODOROKI-ING

listen here boy if you touch one freaking hair on Shouto’s candy cane head I swear to god --

WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY!!!

SHOUTO NOOOOOO. WTF YOU’RE LITERALLY THE ONE GUY WHOSE WEAKNESS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FIRE. DABI YOU SHIT, YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF!! I’M PRINTING OUT A COPY OF THAT COMPRESS PANEL!!! KEEP AN EYE OUT ON THAT BEDROOM WINDOW YOU PUNK!!!

SO NOW POOR SHOUTO IS UNCONSCIOUS AND FALLING!! SOMEONE SAVE HIM!! WHO CATCHES THE CATCHER

COMPRESS LITERALLY HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS HAPPENING

PLEASE DON’T CALL TOMURA LEADER OF THE “PLF” YOU KNOW I CAN’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU DO THAT. ARE YOU DYING. ARE YOU JUST A FUCKING HEAD NOW WTF

(ETA: “masks are removable, makeste” you know what it’s been a long day okay lmao. or I suppose Compress is really the one who is lmao.)

GASPPPPPP

okay. okay. looooool okay then

WHY WERE YOU COVERING THIS SEXY MOP OF HAIR UNDER THAT HOOD YOU TOOL. IT WOULD HAVE LOOKED SO GOOD WITH THE TOP HAT. I’M SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW

as if it wasn’t enough for him to demask himself, he also had to get all shirtless and then do this weird attempt at a sexypose too huh

hard to say exactly how much of his torso is currently missing, but safe to say that’s proooooooobably not good. :///// fuck

on the other hand, Kacchan also has a torso hole and he’s still flying around like he just drank a dozen red bulls, so

this man lost his ass and he’s still out here monologuing like it’s the last two minutes of The Prestige. one might say he is monologuing his ass off

so he let Spinner and Tomura free, but is Dabi still trapped in his marble?? wasn’t he all on fire and stuff?? hopefully he can still turn off his quirk in there because if not that’s a pretty fucked up way to die. somewhere out there Snatch’s ghost is all “YEAH I’LL SAY.” oh how the turntables

last but not least, sooooooo. Tomura. back on the ground. that’s. um. ...shiiiiiiiit

#bnha 294 #mr. compress #...and actually that's pretty much it lol #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #sorry this is up later than usual (and mostly unedited as well)#just one of those days

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syn0vial · 3 years

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Hello Wise One! I was actually hoping if you can give me some solid personality pointers on Jango, rather than Boba, Fett?

sure thing! full disclosure that my knowledge of jango is not as extensive as my knowledge of boba, but i’ll do my best with what i have! here are some personality traits of jango’s i’ve observed:

paranoid/protective: this is a big one if you ask me. jango endured a life of betrayal and loss before he became a bounty hunter and it shows. besides boba, he doesn’t trust anyone fully, not even those closest to him and is always ready to cut ties at the drop of a hat—lethally, if necessary. his mistrust of the rest of the galaxy is so potent that when he takes boba on missions to populated areas, he instructs him to hide even from normal foot traffic and becomes anxious when he learns that others may have spotted him. it becomes pretty evident that part of the reason boba was so isolated growing up was that jango didn’t trust the vast majority of the galaxy enough to let them near the kid. and when other bounty hunters find out about him? ho boy. jango actually convinces them that he killed boba using a cloned child’s body, bc he’d rather be known as the worst kind of monster rather than make boba a target. there’s also the fact that, after their apartment on kamino gets found out by obi-wan, jango is packed and ready to leave in minutes. not only is he ready to bug out at the first sign of danger, but he’s well-prepared to do so at a moment’s notice.

a loving father: another big one. for those who look at a man as battle-hardened and stoic as jango fett and wonder whether boba got enough affection as a kid, worry not: in the vast majority of depictions, jango is a very loving father, especially when he’s out of the prying eyes of clients and colleagues. he hugs boba, tells him he loves him, joins him in playing with toy starfighters, and tries to make time for him as much as he can. he even does his dadly duty of going fishing with his son (though he and boba practice spearfishing rather than using a rod and tackle). there’s also a wistful little scene where, trying to help boba feel better after zam’s death, he takes him to kamino’s main spaceport and lets him infodump about all the ships he sees there :,) so overall, he has a lot of good qualities as a dad

controlling: and the other side of the coin! while jango is a genuinely loving father, he’s not at all the type to encourage his son’s independent development. self-sufficiency? sure. interests in anything other than the path jango has laid out for him? not really. he actively discourages boba from learning about “unimportant” topics from books, an apparently very broad category given it includes things such as schools, moms, and other children. he drills into boba’s head that he’s going to be a bounty hunter and that he needs to abide by a code with such healthy guidelines like, “don’t have friends or attachments” and “trust no one but use everyone.” boba, of course, goes with it bc he loves his father and wants to live up to his expectations, but he never really gets a choice in the matter. honestly, i think this side of jango is best summed up by him leaving a post-humous note for boba that says, among other things, “i am more than a parent to you.” it kind of goes along with how, after jango’s death, boba continued to think of his father not just with love and grief, but also an almost religious dread of failing his expectations. jango undoubtedly loved his son but he also seems to have defined a very narrow path for him to walk, without room for deviation.

possesses an actual charisma score: okay, now for a more fun one: jango has a charisma score and he apparently makes a habit of using it, to the point where his old friend rozatta pokes fun at him for it (he compliments her and she’s like “oh, you’re flattering me? must mean you want something!”) he also pulls the same thing on zam, calling her charming to get her to agree to help him break into a target’s stronghold. so yeah, jango fett turning up the charm to get people to help him/give him info? 100% canon, baby

very fun friendship with zam wesell: look, this isn’t a personality trait, but it’s important to me. these two are just so fucking funny together. like, on the surface, it’s just a fun dynamic of zam making flirty banter and jokes while jango pretends to be annoyed and drag her, much to her delight. but then on a professional level, you have these two ammoral assholes bouncing wildly between being one another’s Sexy Rival and being one another’s Unhinged Partner but whoops, jango went and had a kid, so now they’re Unhinged But Mostly Responsible Co-Parents. one of my favorite scenes is when, in an attempt to intimidate a prisoner into talking, zam impersonates a politician and lets jango pretend to “kill” her in front of him. for some reason, even after they’re done, jango continues to bridal carry zam’s “body” into the cockpit of slave I, at which point, she perks up, bats her eyelashes at him, and goes, “you’d never really kill me would you, jango?” jango quite honestly replies, “only if i had to.” there’s a beat and then zam’s like, “....you’re so sweet! 😘” honestly, they’re so stupid, i love them

ascetic: much like his son, jango doesn’t seem to have much interest in luxury or “the finer things.” despite having enough money to live very comfortably, his apartment on kamino is described as “spartan” in design and furnishing. this may have something to do with the first bullet point, given that a simple life is easier to pack up and take with you at a moment’s notice, but i do think there’s some amount of preference in this lifestyle, given it’s what both fetts seem most comfortable with in all circumstances.

traumatized: i mean, he’s a fett, ain’t he? particularly, just like boba after him, jango is traumatized by the loss of his family, especially his own father figure, jaster mereel. much like boba, jango seems haunted by the need to live up to jaster’s name and legacy. for background, jaster was betrayed and killed in an ambush by the leader of deathwatch, after which he passed on the title of mand’alor to jango. however, some time after this, the true mandalorians led by jango were wiped out by a combination of death watch and the jedi, with jango himself being stripped of his armor and sold as a slave. after this point, jango does not seem to see himself as worthy of jaster’s legacy and thus attempts to pass it on to his son, resulting in the high and narrow expectations he sets for boba as mentioned in bullet point #3. boba himself concludes as much as an adult. on top of the trauma of losing his family, jango also seems to have been traumatized by his time as a slave. most notably, when he’s being tortured after being captured by target komari vosa, he at first remains fairly stoic, even as she starts to mutilate his face. it isn’t until she mentions enslaving him that he seems to panic, struggling desperately to get away. vosa even laughs and says that she must have touched a nerve with her comment. basically: fetts be traumatized :(

soft spot for (some) kids: another thing that’s interesting about jango is that he... usually attempts to do right when kids are involved. i say “usually” bc fat lot of good it did all the cloned children he had a hand in creating >:( but, for example, after killing a runaway clonetrooper as part of a bounty, he finds out that the clone had a son. unwilling to let the child live in poverty due to his own actions, he has regular payments sent to the boy’s mother to help support him. in another instance, jango and zam help deliver an artifact to a client who intends to use it to carry out a terrorist attack on coruscant against millions of civilians. when zam finds out about the client’s intentions, she’s horrified and goes to jango demanding they steal the artifact back. jango completely brushes her off at first, telling her it’s not his problem and that he needs to spend more time with his son. zam coldly asks him how many “sons” he thinks live on coruscant. needless to say, her argument convinces him to join her in stopping the terrorist plot :,)

aaand that’s all i got at the moment! i hope it helps to characterize jango a little bit more!

#crcgeneralwandsmith #jango fett #boba fett #zam wesell #fetts pass on trauma like a family heirloom :`)#like ''got this from grandpa jaster so don't lose it now''

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