#it’s probably gonna be an ao3 fic again but maybe I’ll put it on tumblr later

[eyeslikewatercoolers]

Hey look! Dead Like Me AU is here!!

#dead like me au #it’s probably gonna be an ao3 fic again but maybe I’ll put it on tumblr later

[aresmarked]

AO3 Summary ‘n Tag Tips

things off the top of my head you can do to encourage/avoid discouraging readers on ao3 from reading your work:

presenting as confidently as you can

don’t say ‘i suck at summaries’. you may be tempted to out of self-consciousness. that is the devil talking. guaranteed people won’t even blink at ‘plain’ descriptions like ‘x and y go on a date. Shenanigans ensue.’ because honestly? it reflects an ability—whether or not you believe you have it—to concisely describe what’s going down and tease about More happening than what’s told

focusing on relevancy

don’t tag every extant relationship in your fic if you have a huge cast herd. focus on what the huge ones are in the relationship tags, and then maybe say ‘background x/y/z in the additional tags’. the people hungry for their particular pairing will thank you for your consideration, and people will also be able to see you are aware enough of your work that you can isolate your own focus.

if you’re someone like me who tends to make a lot of small focused ficlets consider making your ficlets standalone but in a series so that you can tag characters appropriately but have everything ‘in one place’.

tags important to the conceit of your fic. more grey-ish area but IMO less is more! i’ll fully admit to using a few tags as ‘talk space’ but i try to relegate most of it to the author’s notes. people usually use tags to find works relevant to their interests, so again, they’ll thank you for ensuring something where what they’re looking for is largely present is what they find. e.g. if i wanted to showcase some mutual pining fic i’d probably tag that as is, and then maybe separately ‘and they were pining. oh my god were they pining.’

really if you go and focus on what people trawling ao3 see and use to sort, you can utilise that to ensure people see.

considering how your fic Looks

summary formatting is such that there aren’t inherently spaces between paragraphs. consider adding one line after each if you have sizable chunks in your summary to improve legibility.

Some sort of proper/consistent formatting that considers readability. i’m not gonna expecting anyone to be doing indentation or bust but if I step in a fic and see that a novel-style fic doesn’t have say, basic capitalisation and punctuation, or is just huge blocks of texts without breaking paragraphs up via TiP ToP, I’m gonna have trouble reading ‘til the end.

Advertising elsewhere

as several others have stressed, ao3 does not have an algorithm. so if you want to nudge a fic into people’s views, try doing so elsewhere. link your fic on tumblr and queue a few self-reblogs for timezones! link it on twitter and put it into a thread. use the tags on those sites too!

there’s plenty other things things but i’m having trouble just riffing off more so... readers! writers! put in the tags what gets you to click through, to read, to comment. put things that have made you just nope out of a fic!

#warproduct rambles

[pashminalamb]

Omg belle good thing you know it was me I forgot to put a label😭. And about ur posts not uploading in the tags, i don’t really know how to help with that maybe you just need to refresh tumblr or smth? but I hope that you will still stay in tumblr right? But yeah ur right a lot of writers are complaining about tumblr and its getting really annoying for them too

Anyways pls take care of urself, have a breather, take a nap drink some water then deal with it again okay? I know u work so hard but health always comes first. I luv u belle🫶🏻

-💙

There’s only one person who obsesses over Oliver on my blog- and that’s you. Plus I can tell who is who by language and familiarity. I can’t be fooled that easily tbh (￣∇￣)

I tried refreshing tumblr but it doesn’t seem to work- I sent out emails to support staff and I’m waiting for their reply, I’ve even tried reuploading by deleting the whole fic and then trying again, first it was the links and then it was this. Not to mention I had other weird accounts and harassing messages (and sometimes really kind messages sent to me Ty for those) And other tumblr users are having issues are having issues as well? The only blog I interact with is Zari’s through my moots account (including other accs of my followers as well - but it’s mostly reblogging stuff) and I think she had issues with posting her things too… I will be on tumblr, yeah but I’ll probably be posting more of my things on ao3. On the positive side of things, I can get more solo fics out for characters… hcs is something I write when I get lazy or get guilt tripped into not posting enough. And with ao3 there’s more quality control? Like you get really good quality content on ao3, ofc other authors here are great as well- but the real stuff is on ao3. I don’t read ff here anyway and I’ve nearly stopped reading on ao3 as well, but not completely cause there are some amazing content creators there as well- but tumblr is also getting really annoying cause the algorithms been built in such a way where smut is given more pref than the actual writing (like I get it erotica- fun stuff is fun stuff) but at the same time my writings are more of 90% leaning more towards the plot and 10% leaning towards smut - cause my plot writing is heavy and the smut… well passable. (Haven’t gotten into more serious things so far) and that’s why I think I should move to ao3.

I’ll keep this account running ofc so that I can have better interaction with my anons, but posting wise- it’s getting really sloppy for me here. Not to mention I get followed by…. nude accounts here (literally got one rn on @isagiusagi - my side account). All the time. Ao3? I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem. Ik I sound over dramatic and everything but this is a plot I’ve been working on for 3 months and it’s 7.3k words. Smut part that I had to slog over and the cry over some of the dialogues. Not to mention that on ao3 the maturity labels are more easier to set. On tumblr, the moment I put a maturity label, my work won’t show up on the main tag until I take it off only for it to get flagged down again - yeah tumblr sucks cause of that. Followers and likes never really mattered to me (cause I’m posting for myself and wanna get an opinion out there too regarding characters) and it’s actually nice to see people interacting abt my work with me here and I’ll to keep that going in future as well. As of now, I’ll post more on ao3 since my fics are longer, with more content cause I just think my writing is built for that platform- not to mention the yandere content that going on there

I heart u too blue 🫶🏻

#belle.☏ #.lost sheep : 💙 anon

[kyuyua]

Sunrise After Sunset 🌅 Progress Update: In the works

So it’s been two years since I’ve updated Sunrise After Sunset over on Ao3 (and Wattpad) and besides answering some comments the few times I check my inbox and that one ask that kicked my brain into gear a bit, I haven’t been saying much about what my plans exactly are for working on SAS? That’s mostly because I’m paranoid and if I say things out loud I’m less likely to do them, but y’all deserve a bit of relief.

To start, nope, haven’t written anything since I went on that unannounced hiatus that faithful August 2020. SAS has been sitting in my docs collecting dust while I’ve been hopping around fandoms as usual. I get the most motivation to actually want to write something when I’m into the thing I’m writing for at the moment, and by the time school started that year I was both busy and getting into a new fandom, which was bad news for my motivation. Didn’t help that I was stuck on how to write the next chapter.

Still, like I’ve always said, I absolutely love the idea for SAS and refuse to give up on it. It just took me until I got back into One Piece wholeheartedly to start looking into it again. At the moment, I’m going to have to re-familiarize myself with One Piece and all it’s intricacies, as well as my stupid jumbled notes that I wrote in a NOTEBOOK LIKE AN IDIOT LIKE WHY ME WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT—

(sigh) Yeah no, don’t let its pristine condition fool you—the mess in there is another reason I didn’t try to pick up SAS again faster…

But anyway, once I do all that stuff, it’ll still be a while until I update new content! I plan to rewrite everything and do some major editing since there were things I’m not happy with now and even some things I disliked when I was writing the fic. It’s gonna be a lot of work, and I’m extremely lazy (if the past two years have said anything) but for SAS I’m (maybe, just a little bit) willing to work for it :’)

After the revision stuff I’m going to prepare a shit ton of chapters before publishing for y’all because you guys DESERVE new content, holy god I’m so sorry. That you’re all still waiting patiently even though I’m the most suckiest asshole of an author on the planet makes me want to work even harder for y’all to finally put your waiting to rest. If it was your plan to guilt trip me all along it’s definitely working—god I love y’all ;-;-;-; It’ll take longer to get anything out but it gives you guys a lot more content to read through in a shorter amount of time than if I were to write every chapter before publishing them like I’ve been doing.

Once I start going through the process I’ll update SAS’s status in the summary as well as make a short progress post here on Tumblr. I don’t know how many of you are even reading this essay but to those of you who are here this is all for you. I originally started writing this fic because I wanted to see the idea out on a screen with words and words to its name. It was just a little project for me, but now I have all of you to share it with and I’m so sorry for keeping so much of it away from you all for so long. You’ll have to wait a bit longer before any true updates are made to the fic, but hopefully it won’t be as long this time :))

I can’t give an exact date or even an estimate of when I’ll start publishing new chapters because I’m horrible at both keeping promises and time management. Feel free to shout at me in my asks or in the comments to make sure I’m actually being productive!!! I’ll probably be caught red-handed but that sort of thing helps me get off my ass the best—is that weird? I plan to start a new discord server specifically for SAS and any future fics I may or may not have, so be on the look out for that update post!!!

Thank you guys so much for your patience. I really don’t deserve you. Know I love and appreciate you all so so so much ^^ ❤️

#sunrise after sunset #sas #my fic #sas progress update #progress update #one piece #op #time travel fix it #lawlu #zosan #please scream at me I welcome it with open arms #any ideas you guys have are also welcome #my brain is only so big (as in not very)

[barbaracleboy]

So, you know that thing I posted earlier? The whole “give me a Character and I’ll draw them with a headcanon, positive opinion, and negative opinion” thing? Yeah, that’s still going (and will probably still be going until further notice), but don’t expect anything to come from that today. I’ll see if I can get anything done with it tomorrow. Apologies if you’re waiting on that.

As for why I’m didn’t get to drawing, heh...that’s because I was writing! I was writing Chapter 4 of Omega’s Assault!!! And I’ve gotten it more or less done!!!!!!

I’m gonna go through it again once or twice, just to try and minimize little errors and maybe touch it up, and if all goes well I’ll be uploading it on Friday! To anybody and everybody that’s supported me during this project and any other time, I give a loud, genuine thanks!

And to Akuma74 (who I’m not @’ing now but will @ on the day this is uploaded), I hope you enjoy the “small fic” I’ve written based on the dream you had...even if it isn’t quite so small any more, ha.

The day Chapter 4 goes up I will also be putting a masterpost containing links to all four Chapters (both the Tumblr and AO3 links). Hope you look forward to it!

#I considered maintagging this but decided against it because it technically is no content but just an announcement #but still...I'm excited!!! #I pray you guys are too #I am so sorry if you're among those that were waiting for this story to be concluded and I sincerely hope you're happy with what I've made!

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

an icarus and his sun: chapter 8

A/N: hello i have returned!! this chapter was weirdly difficult for me to write, but from here on out i think the writing will go much smoother! but unfortunately i do have classes to be worrying about soon, so who knows how much time i will have to write. but still!! very excited about this fic and how you guys will react to upcoming events >:) (plus i added some implied nature wives (katherine and shelby) to this bit so this fic is basically turning into me making empires smp gayer) also check out this stunning art of chapter 5 by @artanogon! and if you wanna make art of this fic, you absolutely can, just be sure to tag me so i can see it!

Warnings: depression of the heartbreak variety, past violence

AO3 Link - Tumblr Masterpost

-

Jimmy was trying his hardest to not be mopey as he helped Katherine with rebuilding. He knew that he had promised that he would help her- but his own confusing feelings about Scott, his lack of building know-how, and the dejected look Katherine had as she looked at the slight crater where her castle used to be had Jimmy feeling far out of his league. But he put on a brave face- he needed the distraction, after all.

They began with filling in the crater, mostly silent as they moved dirt over with their shovels. Then once the ground was level, they could begin with setting up the framework of the castle. They spoke more to each other then- but it was mostly Katherine telling Jimmy where to put the support beams. Jimmy wanted to say something, anything to break the tension and melancholy air- but he couldn’t think of a single thing to say to Katherine that didn’t lead back to the tragedies they had experienced. Jimmy wished that Joel or Lizzie were there- but they were off gathering more materials for Katherine’s castle, and probably wouldn’t return until nightfall. So until then, it was just Jimmy and Katherine, silently stewing in their respective sadnesses.

Luckily- or maybe unluckily- someone much more chipper than either of them came along. Jimmy almost didn’t recognize her at first- but quickly realized that the figure approaching them was the mushroom gnome queen, Shrub. Or Shelby-she had said they could call her that too. She was dressed far more casually than she had been at the ball, a polka-dotted red kerchief tied over her head, brown overalls over a green shirt, and red boots with white polka dots. She had a bag slung over her shoulder, and Jimmy could see the tops of mushrooms peeking out of it.

“Um- hello! I- I wanted to offer some gifts from the Undergrove, maybe they could help with rebuilding! Or they could just look pretty- or just be a peace offering- or a gift of sympathy for what happened,” Shelby rambled, seeming just as skittish as she had at the ball, but was less afraid and more excited. Katherine set down the beam she was holding, and gave Shelby a small smile.

“The gift is much appreciated, thank you. It was nice of you to stop by- I apologize for the appearance of the Overgrown. Usually it’s prettier here,” Katherine said, looking over her lands for a brief moment before focusing back on Shelby.

“Oh! Well, what I saw of it at the ball, your empire is lovely! I’m sure it will be back to its former glory soon… if you’d like, I can help! I’m good with plants and I’m not a bad builder!” Shelby offered with an encouraging smile. Katherine practically glowed at the praise of her empire, and smiled back.

“I’d love to have your help- it’s just been me and Jimmy working all day, and most of our time was spent filling in the crater. Some extra hands would definitely help things go faster,” Katherine replied, gesturing at the land around her. Shelby beamed back at her, setting down her bag of mushrooms.

“Then I’m more than happy to help! We gnomes are small but mighty, just tell me where to lug these beams around and I’ll do it!” she chirped. Katherine blinked in slight surprise at her eagerness, but looked over to the stack of beams beside them.

“Well, there is one that needs to go across those two over here for the entrance. If you’re as strong as you say, then maybe you can help Jimmy with getting it up there- I’ll set some scaffolding up so you guys can reach it,” Katherine explained, going over to where two beams were upright and doing just that. Jimmy watched her set up the scaffolding for a moment, until he felt a pair of eyes on him. He turned and looked down to Shelby, who quickly looked away once she realized she had been caught staring.

“Is everything okay? You seem jumpy,” he asked, brows furrowed in confusion. Shelby chuckled nervously.

“Oh. Well- you see, gnomes can’t swim. And I’m kind of afraid of the water and water related things because of it. But you and the ocean lady seem like really nice people! So… sorry for being jumpy. It’s a habit,” she admitted sheepishly. Jimmy let out a good-natured laugh.

“I mean you’re right to be spooked by Lizzie, she can be scary when she wants to be- but most of the time she’s very nice! And trust me, there is not a single threatening thing about me,” Jimmy said, tone turning a bit rueful at the end of his statement. Shelby frowned.

“The guy with the goggles and his friend sure seemed to think otherwise, why else would they bother you like that?” she asked. Jimmy blinked in surprise at that.

“You… you think Fwhip and Sausage are afraid of me?” he asked in disbelief.

“Well… not afraid, but definitely threatened. I’ve seen it before, back where I came from. You’re someone who won’t bow to people easily, and people like them don’t like that,” Shelby explained with a shrug. Jimmy considered this for a moment.

“Huh. I guess… I never saw it like that before,” Jimmy said, a small smile coming to his face.

Their conversation was ended by Katherine waving them over, and Jimmy and Shelby picked up one of the beams to carry over to where the scaffolding had been set up. Shelby was surprisingly strong for her stature, and carrying around the beams and placing them where they needed to be was much easier than before she had arrived. It was less quiet with Shelby around too, as she cheerfully asked questions about their empires, as well as sharing some things about her own empire. But then there was one question that caused Jimmy’s blood to freeze in his veins.

“So you said that Joel and Lizzie were getting more building materials, but what about your partner? Is he with them too?” Shelby asked, and for a moment, Jimmy was confused.

“My… what?” he asked.

“The elf guy you were dancing with at the ball! You’re very cute together, by the way,” Shelby continued, completely oblivious to the tension in the air her statement created. However she soon noticed Jimmy’s pained expression, and it was her curious smile changed to a concerned frown.

“We uh. We were never together. And he betrayed us,” Jimmy said stiffly.

“Oh- oh I’m so sorry. You guys had just looked so happy together, I had just assumed- I’m sorry,” Shelby rambled, and Jimmy gave her a weak smile.

“It’s alright. I guess I was kinda happy- but it was never real. Not for him, at least,” Jimmy replied, throat feeling tight. He hadn’t really meant to burden all of his issues onto Shelby, but his mouth was moving a little faster than his brain was at the moment, and he couldn’t hold back his words.

“Well- well then that guy is missing out! You seem great, and he gave you up for what, tactical gain or political advantage or something?! He doesn’t deserve you!” Shelby declared, hands on her hips as she smiled up at Jimmy confidently. If someone he barely knew had so much confidence in him, then why shouldn’t he? Jimmy smiled back at Shelby.

“Maybe you’re right,” he conceded. Shelby gave him a half laugh, half playful scoff.

“Of course I’m right! Now c’mon, this castle isn’t gonna rebuild itself!” she chirped, heading over to the stack of beams. Jimmy could only stare after her for a moment, dumbfounded. Katherine seemed just as amazed by the gnome’s boundless positivity, a smile growing across her face.

“She’s spirited,” Katherine murmured. Jimmy chuckled.

“Yeah, you two are like birds of a feather,” Jimmy murmured back.

"We both are definitely nature-oriented," Katherine added with a chuckle. She looked at Shelby fondly for a moment, until her expression turned into a frown as she noticed something in the sky. Subconsciously her hand started reaching for Jimmy’s, and he took it as he looked up to the sky with her. Two figures were flying in- and the tension in Jimmy’s shoulders relaxed ever-so-slightly when he recognized them as Pearl and Gem. But he still gave Katherine’s hand a gentle squeeze all the same.

“What’s going on? Are we under attack again?!” Shelby asked anxiously, coming over to stand beside them and look up at Pearl and Gem flying in.

“Don’t know yet- they weren’t directly behind the explosion… but they are allied with the people who were,” Katherine said apprehensively. Shelby looked down from the sky, frowning in concern- and upon noticing Jimmy and Katherine’s joined hands, she grabbed Katherine’s other hand with a comforting smile. Katherine flushed slightly, but smiled back at Shelby gratefully.

“Please don’t be alarmed!” Gem shouted as she came in for a landing. Frankly, that didn’t make Jimmy feel any less alarmed.

“We aren’t allied with Fwhip and Sausage anymore. We don’t want any part of what they’re up to,” Pearl clarified, landing beside Gem.

“Really?” Jimmy asked warily. Gem looked to Jimmy with an open, pleading expression.

“I meant what I said when we told you that we didn’t know what Fwhip was up to. He left myself and Pearl completely in the dark, while Sausage and Scott were the only ones who knew about the full plan. But even then, I don’t think those two had the full picture, they looked surprised that we hadn’t known about the TNT. The point is- Pearl and I were tired of being part of an alliance that lied to us, and lied to us to hurt others! Katherine- if I had known what was going to happen, I would have never gone along with it and would have tried to put a stop to it,” Gem explained, turning her focus to Katherine as she spoke.

“So… you two are… on our side then?” Katherine asked slowly. Pearl gave her a gentle smile.

“If you’ll have us, yes. We also figured you could use our help rebuilding,” Pearl replied. Katherine looked to Jimmy, as if she was asking for his opinion. Jimmy blinked, and looked at Pearl and Gem. They seemed… candid, at least. But after Scott… Jimmy wasn’t sure who he could trust anymore besides his steady allies. However, they weren’t Scott. And furthermore, it really wasn’t his call to make. It was Katherine’s.

“It’s your empire, Katherine. If you don’t want them here, then just say the word. But you won’t get a fight from me if you do want them to help,” Jimmy said gently. Katherine smiled, and looked back to Pearl and Gem.

“I would absolutely appreciate your help. We’ve almost got all the framework for the castle set up- but having someone with wings help us out with some of the taller parts would be lovely,” Katherine said. Pearl beamed, and Gem clapped her hands excitedly. Gem came closer and Katherine let go of Shelby and Jimmy’s hands to talk over building plans with Gem, Shelby following after her and listening as well. Pearl, however, walked over to Jimmy with a mildly timid expression.

“Pearl?” Jimmy asked.

“There’s something I think you should know,” she blurted. Jimmy blinked in surprise, tilting his head to one side in confusion.

“I… okay,” Jimmy said semi-apprehensively. Pearl took a deep breath, like she was unsure of how to continue.

“Gem and I just came from a meeting with the Wither Rose Alliance. Well… it wasn’t much of a meeting, Gem and I broke off ties with the alliance pretty quickly and then left. But… there’s a… there’s something about Scott,” Pearl explained slowly. Jimmy tensed, swallowing nervously.

“Oh?” Jimmy asked, trying to keep his tone neutral.

“Like I said, Gem and I didn’t stay long so I don’t know for sure- but there was something off about Scott. He just… didn’t seem himself. I think he was just as unhappy with Fwhip as we were with him. I… I just know he meant a lot to you. And I think you meant a lot to him too. I just… I don’t want to get your hopes up, but maybe… maybe you should give him a chance,” Pearl continued. Jimmy’s mouth fixed into a firm line.

“It’s a nice thought… but I don’t think I can trust him anymore. Not after everything that happened,” Jimmy said, throat tight as he tried not to cry. Part of him really wanted to hope that maybe there was some sort of misunderstanding, that Scott really did care about him- but Jimmy couldn’t afford that kind of hope. Pearl nodded in understanding.

“That’s fair. Like I said… just thought you should know,” she said, before walking over to join Katherine in her discussion for the build. Then Jimmy- only feeling ever so slightly useless now that Katherine had so much more help- swallowed the tears that thinking about Scott caused, and joined them.

-

Taglists below! Ask to be added or removed!

MCYT General Fic Taglist: @corazon10000 @damiensaidno @franticfandomfanatic @gattonero17 @hetapeep41 @space-ace123 @vyeoh 

AIAHS Taglist: @anty-kreatywna @beepa99 @devilwoodkitty18 @riobug 

#empires smp #jimmy solidarity #katherine elizabeth #shubble #pearlescentmoon #geminitay #flower husbands #nature wives #mcyt #aiahs #sage writes

[agirlunderarock]

Febuwhump Day 11 and 16: Chronic pain and Hidden scars

Summary: Sas is realizing that the injury she received on Umbara will have lasting affects no matter how many times she dunks herself in a bacta tank. Lucky for her Obi-Wan is doing his best to help her work through it and work out the knots in her back.

Pairings: Obi-Wan X Sas Vom (Clawdite OC) established relationship

Warnings: theres a mention or two of Umbara, its a conversation they need to have, but haven’t quite gotten to it yet. They’re still learning how to communicate these things with one another. There is some suggestive teasing toward the end but nothing major. I’m sure if I wrote smut, this would have led there or theres a sequel that doesn’t exist that could have it, but like eh, I’m ace, I just like their teasing. I’ll leave the rest to other folks

A/N: So I fell behind in these prompts, it was good while it lasted lol. I’m just gonna keep posting and putting these out as a prompt strikes me. I probably won’t upload all of them to tumblr, just because my engagement is so low here and I’m mostly on mobile. But as usual I will include the Ao3 link. Also if you end up liking the dynamics between these characters you might like the full fic I’m writing that goes to their first meeting. I’ve got it posted here and on Ao3

Read on Ao3

    “Explain again…how this…is fair?” Sas panted as she held up her phrik sword despite the burning in her muscles. She never used to feel this tired running drills, or while training in general. It had been months since the incident on Umbara, and yet she felt like she had to exert so much effort just to do basic drills. Sweat ran down the side of her face, and she mentally gave herself a pat on the back for not painting on her tattoos that day. She hefted the sword in front of herself, prepared to take defensive measures against the jedi in front of her.

    “My dear, you wanted to be better prepared to fight opponents with lightsabers, the only way to do that is to prepare with the real one.” Though Obi-Wan had a small grin peeking out from beneath his beard, Sas could tell he was holding back out of concern. She could see it in the small crease between his brows. 

    “I had been hoping that you were going to give me a lightsaber of my own-” She thought she finally managed to catch her breath after the last set they did, but still she felt winded. She lowered her blade again, put one hand on her head and looked up to the high ceilings of the sparring room. Mirrors lined one wall, another looked out over the busy Coruscant traffic, and the last was a simple wooden wall, with a door that led out into the hall. 

Some part of her always worried about someone bursting in during their training sessions. Not that it was a common occurrence, maybe once or twice Anakin, Ahsoka, or even Cody would pop in. Why Sas had this anxiety, she still had trouble admitting. She had nothing to hide in her friendship with the jedi. However, after two and half years of serving on the battlefield together, the two had come to realize they were no longer “just friends.” Sas preferred to think about it as hiding in plain sight. Yes she and Obi-Wan were romantically involved, but nothing really openly changed between them. Sure they’d managed to steal a kiss or two behind closed doors here and there, but there was rarely anything that either of them felt was worth hiding when they were already openly very close as friends. 

    “Sas, are you alright?” Obi-Wan asked, pulling her mind back to the sparring mat..

    “Yeah, I’m good. I just need a moment…”

    “When was the last time you had a session in the bacta tank?” Obi-Wan put away his lightsaber, and took a step toward her. “You don’t need to rush your recovery-”

    Sas put up a hand  and shook her head, her dark braid thumping against her shoulders. “I’m not rushing anything. It's been a few weeks. I was on bed rest and spending hours in the tank. I need to get moving again.” She shook out both her arms before getting into a defensive stance again. “I need to be ready for the next time we’re deployed to the front. I’m never going to be useful if I can’t go in the field.”

    Obi-Wan’s brows furrowed together, his attempt to hide his concern either forgotten or was no longer necessary. He clipped his weapon to his belt and shook his head. “Sas, your recovery is the most important thing you can focus on. Is this about what happened-”

    “This isn’t about Umbara. Please, can we just run the drill again? At least one more time?” She needed to catch up on training. She needed to get her strength back and the only way to do that was by practicing and working out. “I’ll even go down to the med wing after this so the healers and medics can check my back, alright?”

    “Sas-”

    “It's not about Umbara.”

    “What happened there- Sas, that was out of your control.”

    “Obi-Wan, I need the practice. I couldn’t defend myself. That was my fault.” 

    “I just don’t want you to make your injury worse in the process. We can build up slowly. You can’t overwork yourself.”

    “You know what? It's fine, I’ll work out and practice on my own,” Sas said with a sigh. “Stay if you want to, correct my form like you always do, but with or without you, I’m going to train.” She took a deep breath, moving her blade through empty air. Her frustrated stare looked through Obi-Wan, as she did her best to focus on the feel of each position, and whether or not she was correct in the mirrors. She could see that the jedi had moved to the side of the room, and though he said nothing else, she didn’t need to have a connection to the force to know he was leaving a lot of things unsaid. Try as she might to ignore his concerned gaze, she kept catching glimpses of him in the mirror occasionally stroking his beard.

    Sas breathed deeply with some extra effort as she continued to circle the sparring ring fending off an invisible opponent. She knew she had told Obi-Wan she would only run the drill one more time, but that was only if he practiced with her. There weren’t any blows for her to block, so she ran it again and again etching the memory of each movement into her sore limbs. She lifted the blade above her head, prepared to drag it down and cut through the air, but just as she shifted her weight, a sharp pain exploded in her lower back, up her spine and down one of her legs.Her sword fell from her hands, and she crumpled to the ground. 

Before she could kiss the mat, she felt someone catch her. As she was slowly lowered to the mat, she looked up to see Obi-Wan behind her as he slowly sank to the ground with her upper body in his arms. She said nothing at first knowing that he was right, that she of course had over done her workout for the day. He said nothing at first, just moving her hair out of her face, his brows furrowed low over his blue eyes. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Do you enjoy scaring me?” he teased, his beard tickling her forehead as he spoke.

“Mhmm only sometimes, when I try to do it on purpose.”

“So this was on purpose?”

“It wasn’t meant to be,” Sas answered quietly. “I just felt a sharp pain in my back…I’ll be fine in a minute or two.”

“Sas, you screamed as you fell.”

“I scared myself.”

“You would have scared half the temple if these rooms weren’t sound proofed.”

Sas closed her eyes for a minute, her lower back and her left leg still throbbing as she thought of what to say. “I’m sorry… I really didn’t mean to scare you. I just- I miss being able to keep up with everyone-”

Obi-Wan took her hands in his own and slowly massaged her hands as he avoided her gaze for a moment before his face softened. “I know you didn’t, but you don’t need to push yourself so hard, My Dear. Working yourself this way will put you in the medbay longer.”

Sas stayed quiet as she relaxed in his lap and he rubbed her hands. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out in defeat.  “I just want to get things back to normal.” Over the last few weeks, she had missed smaller shorter missions due to her recovery process. Everyone said she was recovering quickly, but she still felt restless. No. She felt useless. “I don’t want this to be my normal.”

Obi-Wan stayed quiet for a moment. Sas felt like she sounded like a whiny child, not the thirty-two year old woman she was. She had learned to manage and deal with the burning in her skin each time she shifted. She had no choice in the matter then, and she didn’t have a choice in her back pain now. She could only hope that it wouldn’t be this bad all the time. For that to be true though, she knew she had to take things slow. She wouldn’t be able to rush through it like she wanted to.

“I know things have been more difficult for you,” Obi-Wan started as he continued to massage her hands. “And I don’t just mean physically. Crix told me about what was happening with the Clawdite council, that they were no longer accepting your help, and what your cousin feared-”

“Then you know why I need to be cleared for combat soon. They’re going to end up needing my help, they don’t know what trouble they’re inviting-”

“Sas, I know you carry the responsibility of how the Zolan’s conflict progresses. Its the only life you’ve known for a long time, but you are not responsible for the decisions the council makes.”

“But-”

“You are not responsible for their decisions. You and your family have given so much of yourselves. You can take time to rest. You and your sister have done more than enough. They’ll need you again when the time comes. You don’t need to burn yourself out, or put your body through this.”

Sas leaned her head back against his shoulder as she let his words sink in. She couldn’t make herself look up at him. She knew he was right, but that didn’t make accepting it any easier. She and Crix had spent most of their lives trying to keep her planet from going to civil war- Sas even joined the Republic’s war to pay for the means to get humanitarian supplies for her people. Nothing she did was enough though. She wasn’t enough.

“You are enough, Sas,” Obi-Wan said as if reading her thoughts. 

Instead of making a smart comment about the jedi supposedly not being mind readers, Sas turned her hands and wove her fingers with his. She lifted their hands to lips so she could place a light kiss on the back of his hand. She wasn’t sure if her thanks came across in the action, but she herself did feel a warm feeling bubble up in her chest when he lifted her other hand to his lips and his beard brushed across the back of her hand as he kissed it.

Sas made no move to get up. She still didn’t really feel she could with the low throbbing in her back and her leg. “I think I should go to the med bay now,” she said when she finally looked up at Obi-Wan.

“Do you think you can walk there, or would you like me to carry you?” His lips were still pressed to the back of her hand, so a small smile spread over her lips as his beard tickled her.

“I should be able to walk….unless…”

“Unless?” He held their hands near his chest

“Unless, you can give me a back rub here?” Sas asked, feeling warmth spreading in her face.

“Darling, I’d be happy to, but are you sure you don’t want one of the healers to look at it?”

“You’ve been in just about every session I’ve had with Rek, you’ll do fine. I’ve got my cooling ointment in my bag where you were sitting earlier. A little of that on my back will be just as good as anything down in the med bay.”

Obi-Wan moved his hand up toward his face again, and felt his beard brush he back of her hand again. She suspected that he had meant to stroke his beard, but instead kissed her hand once he realized he had forgotten to let go.

“Alright, just let me know if anything hurts more. I don’t want to make things worse for you.”

“You could never,” she said and lightly kissed the back of his hand before untangling her fingers from his. She took a deep breath, only to wince as she slowly sat up. Her lower back was still very tender and she was scared of another spasm of pain. She turned her head a little as Obi-Wan tried to help her sit up, and only pulled away once she was sitting upright. She waved off one final offer for him to carry her to the healers before watching him get up to grab her ointment.

She took a deep breath and pulled her shirt and work out bra over her head as carefully as she could, each little movement reminded her how weak her back still was. She held her bundle of clothes to her chest and moved her braid to rest on the front of her shoulder, so it wouldn’t stick to her back. Just as she was about to lay on her stomach she caught a glimpse of Obi-Wan watching her in the mirror. She grinned at him and had been about to make a comment about him enjoying the view, but stopped when she realized he was looking at her back. His brows furrowed together, as he moved to kneel next to her. He didn’t meet her gaze as he helped her lower her body to the mat.

 It dawned on her that this was the first time he’d really seen scars on her back and sides. Some were fading from their mission to the Citadel. Extra time in the bacta tank seemed to do them some good. The freshest one however, a long surgical one that branched out from electrical burns at the base of her spine, was from Umbara. She wouldn’t be surprised if that one never faded. She told herself it didn’t bother her much. That the only way the reminder of what happened would be if, for some reason, she had to shift into someone else and expose her back.  Even as she laid on her stomach, Sas watched his face in the mirror and for just a moment she wished she had gifts like his, that she could reassure him through the force. 

She shifted her weight and took his hand in her own. “Hey, Pretty Boy,” she started and turned her head to directly meet his gaze. His blue eyes met hers and she did her best to offer him a small smile. “I’ll be okay.” Though he returned her smile, it didn’t reach his eyes. His forehead was still wrinkled with worry, even if he tried to relax. He was normally so good at hiding these things. “If I can’t blame myself for not being strong enough to fight off Krell, you can’t blame yourself for what happened to our men or me. He gave you little reason to think he would do anything like that.”

He only gave her hand a small squeeze. His brows had unfurrowed only slightly; she suspected that he tried to relax for her sake more than he believed what she said. She decided they would work on that more later. It had been a few weeks, maybe a month, since the battle. It was still a little too fresh for them and many of their friends.

Very suddenly Sas felt his beard brush across her bare shoulder. “Lay back down, my dear,” he said softly before placing a light kiss on her skin. She glanced back up at him once more before laying back down and folding her arms under her head.

She watched him in the mirror as he took some of her ointment in his hand and slowly spread it over her back. The coolness of the gel, and pressure from his hands slowly eased the throbbing in her back. She let out a breath as she gradually let herself relax under his touch. She could feel his thumbs massaging small circles in her lower back, easing the tension and knots in her muscles there.

“Let me know if anything hurts,” he said, but the only answer he received was a lazy hum in answer from the green woman before him. If Sas hadn’t closed her eyes she would have seen the small smile inch its way across his face in the mirror. He rubbed his palms gently but firmly along her back, his concern gradually dissipating as she seemed to grow more and more relaxed under his touch.

“You’re shoulders are especially tight in your shoulders, did you know that?” Obi-Wan said digging his fingers into Sas’ shoulder blades.

“I’m sure if I was massaging your back, I’d find more tension in yours, Love,” Sas said as she peeked one eye open to look at him in the mirror. The little tired grin on his face said she was probably right, even if he didn’t want to admit it outloud. “If you want, later on, since its your night to stay over, I can give you a massage. I might not be as good as you but-” She stopped abruptly and a shiver ran down her spine.

Obi-Wan started placing light kisses down her spine, and his beard tickled her skin in a way she wasn’t prepared for. His chuckle against her skin sent another wave of trembles through her. “Or maybe you can let me just take care of you again,” he teased before kissing her shoulder.

Sas let out a small huff. “I can’t make any promises about feeling well enough for that, and if you’re going to tease me this way-”

“You’ll let me take you the healers next time?”

“Thats not what I was going to say.”

“Then what were you going to say?” He placed a kiss on her other shoulder. Sas decided he was having too much fun.

“You made me forget, but it wasn’t that.”

“I love you, Sas.”

“You love to tease me,” She huffed.

“Perhaps, but I’m sure you’ve known that for a long time now.”

“Yeah, almost as long as you’ve known I love you too.”

#Star wars fanfic #obi-wan fanfic #obi-wan x oc #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Star Wars #I don't know how tags work #writing #star wars writing

[phantasticworks]

Take a Picture (It'll Last Longer)

hi guys! so it occurred to me that i completely forgot to post the newest part of my new fic on tumblr when i posted it to ao3 the other day so here it is! I hope you guys enjoy this one! I've had a lot of fun working on it!

read on ao3

Words: 18.9k

Summary: Dan and Phil continue their arrangement, but are things changing?

Warnings: swearing, explicit smut, light angst

“We should go Christmas shopping,” Phil announces one afternoon. They were laying in his bed after giving each other blowjobs, and Dan was half-asleep.

“Mmf,” Dan huffs. It’s not exactly an answer. It’s not even really a response.

“Dan,” Phil whines, prodding his chest. “C’mon, it would be fun. We could go into town, get a festive drink, let the spirit of Christmas enter us.”

Dan cracks one eye open at that, giving Phil a smirk. “I don’t think I want the spirit of Christmas to be the one entering me tonight,” he says, his voice smooth.

Phil breaks out into a very predictable blush, but it’s still one of the cutest things Dan’s ever seen. “Dan!” he nearly screeches, swatting at him.

“What?” Dan cackles.

“That’s awful!” Phil shakes his head like he’s disappointed, but his eyes have gone a little wide, and Dan knows he’s thinking about what Dan has just suggested.

It’s the one thing they hadn’t yet done together. They’ve fooled around in every other possible way, but penetration has just been off the table. Until now.

“Do you want to?” Dan asks after he’s done laughing. His voice is unintentionally small. It’s not like he’s particularly nervous about this particular sex act; he’s fucked and been fucked before, but never by someone he cares this deeply for. And the part that hurts the most is that they aren’t even like that, not really.

He watches as Phil swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing against the pale skin of his neck. “Fuck,” he swears under his breath. He glances at Dan quickly, like he hadn’t mean to say it at all. “I mean- God, yeah, of course I want to,” he says.

Dan smiles, scooting closer to him and swinging a leg over Phil’s, as if they didn’t just have sex half an hour ago. “I’d let you, if you want,” he murmurs, trying for seductive. He’s not sure he’s really hit the target in his tone, but Phil swallows again, and he reckons he’s close enough.

“We should go out for dinner,” Phil blurts suddenly.

Dan pulls away a little, blinking at him. “Er… okay?”

“Yeah, we should go eat dinner, and then do some shopping, yeah?” Phil sounds nervous, and Dan can’t for the life of him figure out why. They have dinner together all the time nowadays. In fact, almost every time they see each other they wind up sharing a meal somewhere. It’s not usually at a restaurant, he concedes, the both of them horrible introverts who would much rather be inside the comfort of one of their flats, but still, it has happened.

“Sure,” Dan agrees easily. If he’s honest, dinner is the last thing on his mind.

If he can’t have Phil in the real way, in the way he so desperately wants, then he’ll take this: casual sex and friendship, until Phil no longer has a use for him. The fact that all of this has an expiration date tears at the tattered threads of Dan’s heart more and more each day, but it’s a pain he’s learning to cope with nonetheless.

He’s so deep in his own thoughts that he barely notices when Phil climbs out of the bed and makes his way to his closet. “Um, what are you doing?” Dan asks stupidly when he sees Phil pulling out what looks to be a nicer outfit.

Phil turns and gives him a look like he is stupid. “We have to get dressed if we’re going out!” he says, like it’s obvious.

“We’re going out tonight?” Dan squawks, still mostly naked and covered in slowly-drying bodily fluids.

“Yes,” Phil says, voice full of exasperation. “Go on, go take a shower, I’ll pick something out for you.” He sounds excited, but Dan can’t help but be weary.

“Phil…” He starts.

“No, no!” Phil protests. “Just go, I promise it’ll be good, I won’t pick anything you wouldn’t wear yourself!” It’s probably an empty promise, but his bright eyes and the way he dances on the balls of his feet have Dan convinced.

“Fine,” he says with a sigh, giving in. He stands to go jump in the shower, and he doesn’t miss the way Phil takes a long look at his body. “But I swear to god if you try to put me in color, I’m gonna actually kill you.”

“Fine, whatever,” Phil says, waving him off. “Go, go shower, smelly boy. Your fairy godmother needs some space to think about your outfit.”

Dan feels a tug in his chest when Phil smiles at him. He can’t help but step close and kiss him, just once, to dull the pain a little. “You’re on thin ice,” he whispers, his lips still a breath away from Phil’s.

“You have semen in your hair,” Phil murmurs back, pecking his lips.

Dan flips him off as he stomps off to the shower.

~~~

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Dan says nearly half an hour later, staring at the clothes Phil has so charitably laid out for him. The jeans are fine, black skinnies with rips new enough that he knows Phil hardly wears them. His problem lies entirely with the sweater.

The red, sparkly sweater.

“What?” Phil asks, voice pitched high in false confusion. “It’s nice!”

“I’m not wearing that,” Dan says vehemently.

“But Dan, it’s Christmas! Red is a very Christmassy color!”

“Red is Christmassy,” Dan spits. “This is- that’s fucking-“

“I call it ‘ladybird chic’,” Phil says, unhelpfully.

Dan turns, very slowly, to glare at him. “Absolutely not.”

Phil pouts. “It’ll look really good if I take any photos this evening.”

Dan swears under his breath. Stupid Phil with his stupid soft, kissable lips with their perfect Cupid’s bow. “I’m wearing a coat over it,” he says haughtily.

Phil grins proudly. “Of course,” he nods. “It’s not exactly my warmest sweater, and I don’t want you to get cold.”

Something about that makes Dan’s stomach twist sharply, a feeling he can’t name taking up all the space in his chest as he watches Phil search for a coat. He makes it so hard, sometimes, to not confess that he’s in love with him. Dan isn’t too stupid to think he’ll let himself go that far- he does have some dignity- but god Phil makes it hard.

“Will this work?” Phil asks, returning with a simple but warm-looking black coat.

Dan nods, taking it from him and setting it on the bed next to the outfit. “Thanks,” he says, his voice soft.

Phil smiles at him when he glances up. “No problem,” he says warmly, leaning in and planting a kiss on Dan’s temple. “I’m gonna hop in the shower, I’ll be right back,” he says, leaving Dan with the lingering feeling of lips and warmth.

~~~

Phil looks amazing.

That’s probably the understatement of the year, Dan thinks, but he’s at a loss for words when Phil steps into the lounge, fully dressed.

He’s got black skinny jeans on as usual, but he’s gone for a really nice grey sweater and his glasses, something Dan is always, always enamored with. He figures he’s probably fully staring at him, but Phil doesn’t seem to mind, so Dan sees no reason why he should look away. In fact, Phil seems to like it, if his smirk is anything to go by.

“Ready to go?” He asks, completely ignoring the way Dan is practically undressing him with his eyes.

“Sure,” Dan says, his voice coming out a little garbled. He clears his throat, flushing. “Let’s go.”

~~~

They end up at an Italian place, one that Dan’s never been to. It’s nice, nicer than he expected when Phil suggested they go out to dinner. It almost feels like a date, if Dan lets himself think too much about it. But he knows better than that, so of course he doesn’t let himself think about it at all.

Instead, he convinces Phil to order wine.

“Come on, I’m almost done with classes, and it’s a Friday. Shouldn’t we celebrate the end of the week?” Dan says, batting his eyelashes to really sell it. The truth is he doesn’t think he can keep his mind from drifting off into romance land if he’s not at least slightly inebriated.

Phil sighs, but nods. “Fine.” He gestures for the waitress to come back over, then points to something on the wine menu. “We’ll each do a glass of the Cabernet Sauvignon, please,” he says, tapping the name.

The waitress nods before disappearing, and Dan watches Phil as he fiddles with the menu, biting his lip in thought. “You sounded like some proper wine connoisseur, just then,” Dan says mildly, glancing over his own menu. He already knows he’s likely to get the same thing he always does at Italian restaurants, but he feels weird staring at Phil when he isn’t looking back.

Phil snorts. “Not hardly,” Phil says dryly. “Cabernet‘s just the happy medium.”

Dan tilts his head at that. “How so?” He asks.

Phil glances up at him, and his lips twitch into a smile. “Well, you like wine that’s bitter, and I like sweeter wine. You always order something with mushrooms when we do Italian, and I usually do some type of tomato-sauce pasta, so...” The waitress returns then with the bottle of wine, and Phil smiles at her. “So Cabernet is the happy medium for us.”

Dan blinks at him. Phil asks the waitress a question about something on the menu, looking completely casual, as if he didn’t just send Dan’s heart spinning. As if they just know each other that well- just fit together that well, without ever even acknowledging it.

He’s still lost in thought when the waitress turns to him with a smile. “And for you, sir?” She asks.

Dan shakes his head in an effort to clear it. “Uhh...” His mind is cloudy at the moment, and he can’t really see the menu.

“They have the mushroom risotto you like,” Phil says softly. “Is that okay?”

Dan nods dumbly. “Yeah,” he says weakly. “That’s fine, thanks.”

The waitress nods, taking their menus before leaving the table. It’s quiet then, and Dan jumps a little when he feels Phil’s foot brush against his. “Sorry,” Phil says, frowning. “Are you okay?”

Dan nods. It’s not a lie, exactly. He thinks maybe he is okay, but everything feels stilted and weird now, and the traitorous, lonely part of his brain is trying to convince him that this- this thing between him and Phil- means more than it does. “I’m fine,” he says quickly, nodding again. “Just tired, I guess.”

A brief flash of something like disbelief flashes across Phil’s face, but it’s gone in a blink. “We can just go back home after dinner, if you don’t feel like shopping.”

The word “home” plays on loop in Dan’s brain until he processes the rest of the words. “No, no, it’s fine. I’ll feel better after we eat,” he says, shrugging it off.

Phil nods, and they fall into silence again. They’ve known each other long enough now that it’s not uncomfortable, but Dan’s skin still itches with the quiet. He’s trying to think of something to say when he feels something brush his ankle. He glances up to find Phil smirking at him.

Dan quirks a brow. “Can I help you?” he asks, barely hiding a smile.

The smirk on Phil’s face just deepens, and he rubs his ankle against Dan’s. It shouldn’t feel as good as it does, but Dan’s long past the point of being surprised that everything feels better with Phil. “Nope,” Phil says, biting back a laugh.

Dan rolls his eyes. He takes a sneaky glance around them, and finds that no one is paying any attention to them. He takes that confirmation of almost-privacy and decides to be cheeky. Taking a sip of his water, he shifts his legs, trailing his foot up the length of Phil’s leg teasingly slow. He watches as Phil’s face flushes, the smirk dropping away to a look of surprise.

“Dan,” he hisses.

“What?” Dan says innocently. “You started this.”

Phil shakes his head, his hand disappearing below the table and catching Dan’s ankle in his hand before Dan can reach his destination. “Not now,” Phil murmurs.

That sends a little thrill through Dan. There’s an unspoken “later” in the air between them, and Dan recalls suddenly what he had offered earlier, when they were getting ready to leave. His blood rushes through his veins hot and fast, making him light headed.

“Are we still going to...” he trails off when the waitress approaches with their food, giving her a fake smile.

She makes sure they’re comfortable and have everything they need before leaving the table again, and by then Dan’s too distracted by his food to return to what he wanted to say.

“Fuck,” he moans around the first bite. “This is delicious.” He’s trying to mind his table manners, but the food is hot and sort of amazing, and he hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast. He really can’t help the sounds that fall from his mouth at that point.

He takes a sip of his wine to wash it down and finally glances over at Phil. His entire face is red, and he’s staring down at his plate with pursed lips. Dan blushes, realizing exactly what he sounded like. Then, he remembers their current situation, and the fact that it really shouldn’t bother Phil, hearing Dan make sexual noises. After all, they’ve been getting each other off for the past month or so, so he’s surely used to it by now.

“Sorry,” he says, despite himself. “Got a little too excited about dinner,” he explains, flickering his eyes between Phil and his plate.

Phil nods, avoiding eye contact. “Right, yeah,” he says, his voice sounding hoarse.

Dan smirks down at his plate, but decides to give Phil a break. “How’s the photo series going? Are we almost done taking photos?”

Phil looks relieved at the change of subject, and his eyes are bright when he looks up at Dan. He’s so enthusiastic about this project, just like he is with everything that he really cares about. Dan can’t help but find it ridiculously endearing.

“Almost, yeah. We’ve gotten some really great shots for experiential, but I don’t think I’ve gotten like the perfect shot for each of the other categories,” Phil says. His eyebrows furrow as he looks down, looking more than a little bothered by that.

“What’re the other categories again?”

“Intellectual, emotional, and er- sexual,” Phil says with a deep blush.

Dan smirks. “Sounds like we can knock that last one out pretty easily,” he says, only sort of teasing.

Phil’s nose goes a little pink, but he’s got a guarded look in his eye as he chases a bite of pasta around his plate. “I don’t know if I want that one to be like...” he trails off, glancing up at Dan with something soft in his eyes.

“Like...?” Dan prompts, confused.

“Like... genuine,” Phil says.

Dan blinks. “Why?”

Phil clears his throat, looking down again. “I don’t- I just- I just want you to be comfortable, yeah? And if it would make you uncomfortable to-“

“It wouldn’t,” Dan interrupts. His face immediately warms when he realizes how that must sound. “I mean... it’s what we’ve been doing this whole time, right? I’ll be no more vulnerable naked than I have been for every other candid shot you’ve done.”

Phil looks almost- disappointed, in a way. Dan can’t think of a reason why he would be, so he convinces himself that he’s probably just imagining it, that Phil is probably just thinking about the best way to shoot the more explicit photographs.

“Sure,” he says eventually, downing a few gulps of his wine. “We’ll work on that stuff- later, yeah?”

“Sure,” Dan echoes, sipping his own wine.

‘Later’ is starting to have a lot of weight.

~~~

After they’ve finished their meal and Phil has ignored Dan trying to pay for the check, they head out to see what the shops have to offer. Everything is so bright with all the twinkling lights and decorations, and Dan’s feeling just a little bit warm and fuzzy with it all. Maybe that’s why he reaches for Phil’s hand, he thinks to himself absently. It’s probably just the overwhelming excitement of it all forcing him to reach out for something to ground himself. Definitely not his deep attraction and infatuation with his best friend.

Right?

Either way, for whatever reason on both their parts, Phil doesn’t pull away at the touch. Instead he laces their fingers together, swinging their hands between them as they meander down the busy streets. It feels safe, with so many strangers surrounding them, to share a touch like this in public. No one here knows them, any looks cast their way are forgotten the moment the gawker looks away.

“Ooh, mulled wine!” Phil announces after a while of aimless wandering. He tugs Dan in the direction of the stall he’s laid his eye on, and Dan allows himself to be dragged. “Do you like mulled wine?” Phil asks as they stand in line to order.

Dan shrugs. “Yeah, it’s alright.” He wants to say something about how it would taste better coming from Phil’s lips, but he thankfully restrains himself from going that far.

Phil rambles on about something that happened to him a few years ago, something about spilling cider all over a guy he worked with that he also had a crush on. Dan’s trying to listen but he keeps getting distracted by the rosy patches on Phil’s face, his frostbitten cheeks looking more kissable than ever.

“We’ll have two mulled wines, please,” Phil says to the sweet older lady tending the booth.

She smiles and nods as she goes about preparing them, and Dan doesn’t even have the chance to reach for his wallet before Phil is sliding a few notes across to her. “Have a good evening! Happy Christmas!” the shop lady says with a happy wave after she hands them their drinks.

“Thanks, you too,” Phil replies with a smile, taking Dan’s hand again and leading them over to a set of benches situated around a massive tree. “Mm, this is really good for the spot,” Phil hums happily, slurping on his mulled wine.

Dan gives him an odd look as they sit together. “Good for the spot?” he repeats.

Phil nods. “Yeah, you know. That thing people say when something tastes good.” He looks so sure of himself, and Dan sort of hates to burst his bubble, but it’s basically his duty as a citizen to do so.

“You mean “hits the spot,” right?”

Phil blinks. “Er...” He seems to consider it for a lot longer than Dan thinks is necessary, and finally he shrugs. “Okay, maybe. Maybe that’s what I meant.”

Dan cackles out a laugh at this, dropping his head back with unabashed glee. “Oh god,” he giggles. “You’re such an idiot.”

Luckily they’ve grown comfortable enough with each other that Phil’s not really offended. He pretends, though, knocking their shoulders together with a pout. “You have to be nice to be. I bought you dinner and mulled wine.”

That makes Dan’s skin prickle just a bit. “Right...” he says, looking down. He knows Phil didn’t say that with the intentions of making him feel guilty, but he can’t help what he feels. “About that, actually,” Dan starts.

“Hm?”

“I wish you’d let me pay for something. Like dinner, or the wine, or something, you know?” He looks down at his hands wrapped around his cup, flicking the plastic lid with his thumbnail. “I’m not entirely useless.”

Phil makes a startled, hurt noise in his throat. “Dan, I never said you were. I don’t- listen, I paid because... well, I dragged you here, didn’t I?” He shifts awkwardly, and won’t meet Dan’s eye. If Dan didn’t know any better, he’d say Phil seemed sort of nervous.

“You hardly did any dragging,” Dan says with a roll of his eyes. “I wanted to come. Believe it or not, I genuinely enjoy spending time with you.”

Phil looks surprised, and Dan snorts. He feels like it’s really hardly a shock that he enjoys spending time with him; if Phil was only slightly less oblivious, he’d have already realized that Dan’s got feelings for him.

“Oh,” Phil says, stupidly.

Dan knocks their shoulders together. “Yeah, oh,” he mocks, his voice gentler than he meant it to be. “I’m just saying, you should let me pay for stuff now and again. It’s not going to break me.”

Phil nods, but looks down, mumbling something under his breath. It sounded like “I like taking care of you,” and that sends Dan’s heart beating so fast that he can’t even ask Phil to repeat himself. If that wasn’t what he said, well, Dan wants to be ignorant for now, and live in that bliss.

“Shall we do some shopping?” Dan asks, changing the subject. He’s drained nearly half his mulled wine already, and the warmth of the alcohol is making its way to his veins, making him giddy with energy.

“Yeah, but first...” He hands Dan his cup, which is almost completely empty already, and grabs his camera.

Dan rolls his eyes. “Is this really a photo-worthy moment?” he asks, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Phil smirks at him over the camera. “Of course it is. Now smile!”

Dan looks directly over the camera, straight into Phil’s eyes. He’s not really smiling, but he’s not frowning either. He’s just... looking at him. The camera flashes once, then twice, and then Phil lowers it, looking back at Dan with something almost wild in his eyes. Dan hands him his cup back silently, and purposefully brushes their fingers together. Something settles in Phil’s expression then, and he gives Dan a soft look before downing the rest of his drink.

“Shall we?” he says as he stands, holding a hand out for Dan to take. The smile he gives him when Dan does is gorgeous and makes every photo worth it.

~~~

Dan allows himself to be led in and out of shops for the next two hours, and Phil takes plenty of photos along the way. He takes photos of Dan window shopping, walking, admiring decorations; basically any move Dan makes, Phil captures. And Dan knows he agreed to this, he knows that it’s all for Phil’s project, but after a while, he grows tired of it.

Eventually, Dan turns to him and gives him a withering look. “Can we put the camera away and just be us for a little while?” He doesn’t intend for his voice to be so soft, but he can barely hear it as it floats in the air between them.

Phil lowers the camera with a strange look on his face. “Yeah?” he asks, like he’s surprised.

Dan nods, and before he can think twice about it, he reaches out and laces their fingers together. “C’mon, I saw a nerd shop over there that I want to check out.”

Before he gets the chance to turn away, Phil darts into his space, kissing the corner of his mouth softly. It’s over so quickly that Dan almost thinks he may have imagined it, simply because Phil looks so calm and confident afterwards. He simply squeezes Dan’s hand and leads him in the direction of the shop, and Dan feels like he’s been left to play catch-up, not for the first time today.

“Hey, look at this,” Phil says suddenly, when they’re almost to the shop. He slows to a stop, his eyes scanning over a bulletin board posted on the bit of brick wall between the windows of the game shop and the bakery next door. “Dan, look!” He taps Dan’s arm excitedly as he speaks, as if Dan’s not already looking at the poster.

“Open Auditions” it announces at the top. Dan’s heart quickens, just slightly. A quick scan of information confirms what he’d already gathered: a local theatre company is holding open auditions for their upcoming performance of Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice.

Dan’s heart races and his vision has gone slightly fuzzy as he tries to take in the information. He can barely focus on anything, his ears ringing with the possibilities. This could be it, a little voice in his head mocks. An escape from the life you don’t want, a chance to be more.

It takes him a minute to come back to his senses, and when he does Phil is rambling excitedly beside him. “-great this is, Dan, you’ve got to audition, this would be perfect for you!”

Dan shakes his head slowly, trying to clear the cloud of fantasy that’s infiltrated his mind. “No,” he says eventually. He forces himself to look away, reminds himself that life isn’t a fairytale. He chose this shitty career and this shitty life, he can’t just back out now. His parents may have raised a socially awkward, queer procrastinator but they didn’t raise a quitter.

“No?” Phil says the word like it’s foreign. “What do you mean, I thought you wanted to act again if you got the chance?” He sounds confused.

Dan shrugs, avoiding eye contact with Phil as he shuffles his feet, moving further from the bright poster. “Yeah, but... come on, this? It’s not very responsible, is it?”

Phil blinks at him, glancing at the poster like it has the answers he needs. “Er- how do you mean?” he asks carefully.

Dan hates that. He hates that he’s ruining their nice day with his bullshit. “Well, I’ve got class, don’t I? And like, work, and shit. I can’t - I don’t have time for this.”

There’s a brief moment of pause where Phil looks at him, then studies the poster again, clearly thinking hard about something. “The auditions are next week, so I bet the rehearsals start after you’re done with classes.”

Dan tells that little stirring of hope in his chest to pipe down. Instead, he shrugs, like he couldn’t care less about the whole thing. “Whatever. Are we going in? It’s fucking freezing out here.”

Phil nods and gestures to the store, so Dan turns to lead the way. He notices Phil doesn’t move to hold his hand again, and he pretends that doesn’t hurt his feelings. When he opens the door he glances behind him, and Phil is still a few steps away, like he’d stood there for a minute before following after Dan. Dan can’t imagine why, and decides it’s better not to think about that at all.

He waves Phil in ahead of him, and spares one last look at the poster before following after Phil and into the shop.

~~~

Dan would love to pretend that he stops thinking about the audition flyer by the time they make it back to Phil’s place, but it would be a lie. It’s still there, in the back of his mind, mocking him with the possibilities.

So he does what any reasonable adult would do.

He immediately jumps at the opportunity to get in Phil’s pants.

It’s not like it’s difficult at this point in their... situation, but he still finds part of him is reluctant to be the one to make the first move, if only because he’s scared of rejection. But this time, like so many times before, Phil indulges him.

“Oh,” Phil laughs as Dan pushes at his coat, his voice deep and sexy like it always is at the end of a long day, when he’s truly worn out. Dan can’t believe he has the privilege of knowing exactly what this sounds like. “Eager, are we?”

Dan latches his mouth onto Phil’s jaw, sucking gently as he shoves the stupid coat off of Phil’s shoulders. “Wanna fuck you,” he mumbles against Phil’s chin, loving the prickly feeling of almost-beard under his mouth.

Phil makes a good noise then, a horny one that Dan doesn’t get to hear nearly often enough. “Can we- bed?” he mumbles out around Dan’s mouth, which has finally found its way to Phil’s.

“Mhm,” Dan mumbles, guiding Phil backwards blindly.

This proves to be a bad idea when he leads him into a wall approximately five seconds later, but luckily, Phil is able to laugh it off. “I’m fine,” he mumbles, pulling Dan back against him once more and kissing across his cheeks. “Let me lead,” he whispers.

Dan allows that, following Phil as he shuffles them backwards down the hall towards his bedroom, their lips barely parting the whole way there. It’s sloppy and messy, but it’s hot, too, unbearably so. Dan is so turned on by the time they step foot in Phil’s room, he’s half afraid he won’t even make it to the good part.

Luckily, Phil trips right before they reach the bed, and the resulting stumble-almost-fall is enough to calm Dan down a little. He’s giggling against Phil’s mouth as they right themselves, and Phil is struggling to mumble an apology around the kisses he’s receiving.

“Dan,” he manages, thumping on Dan’s chest a little, just enough to get Dan’s attention and make him pull away for a second. Phil catches his breath and then smiles at Dan, a wide, gorgeous thing. “Slow down, baby. We’ve got all night.”

It’s said so softly, so lovingly, that Dan thinks he’s going to cry. So, instead of listening, he throws that caution to the wind and leans in for another kiss, his hands dropping to undo Phil’s belt. Phil makes a little noise in his throat, and Dan feels gentle hands pull at his wrists, pulling his hands away from where they’re struggling to undo the fasteners on Phil’s jeans. Dan whines and tugs at the grip, trying to free his hands, but he hears a soft shushing noise as Phil breaks the kiss.

Dan doesn’t realize it at first, but when they’re no longer kissing, he feels a dampness on his cheeks. Frustrated, he wipes at the traitorous tears, but at the same time, Phil’s hands come into view, gently wiping the tears away as he murmurs soft words. Dan struggles to make them out at first, his breathing gone hard and ragged. He tries to settle himself, and Phil tugs at his hand, settling it on his own chest like he wants Dan to copy his breathing. He does, and when he finally calms down, Dan can make out what Phil’s saying.

“Shh, there we go. It’s okay, baby. You’re okay. You’re okay.”

It’s said in such a soft, soothing voice that Dan almost starts crying again. This can’t be meaningless. Even though he knows Phil doesn’t feel anything for him like that, some part of him is just begging for this moment to have some kind of meaning, something that means Phil wants him. But wishing can’t change the truth, and he knows that.

“I’m sorry,” he says eventually, his voice raw.

Phil makes a startled noise. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he says. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know, but like... crying is so not sexy.” Dan feels embarrassed just to say it.

“I don’t know,” Phil muses. “I think showing your emotions is kinda hot.” He gives Dan a smirk then, and Dan barely refrains from pushing him off the bed. The only reason he doesn’t is because of how much he craves the closeness.

“Did I ruin the mood?” Dan asks timidly, sitting up in Phil’s lap to give him some space.

Phil smiles, but shakes his head. “I don’t think so. Do you still want to...” His face flushes then, like he can’t even bring himself to say the words.

Dan grins. “I definitely still want to fuck you. If you still want that.”

“I do,” Phil says quickly. Dan smirks and Phil blushes. “I just... it’s been a while since I’ve done that, so...”

Dan nods easily. “Do you need some space to get ready?”

Phil looks relieved. “Please?”

Nodding again, Dan leans down and kisses him sweetly. “Of course. I’ll go sit in the lounge while you do what you need to do.”

“Thank you,” Phil says softly, leaning up to peck Dan’s lips once more. “I won’t be long.”

With that reassurance, and a dismissive pat on the bum, Dan sees himself out of the room, going to wait in the lounge like he’d promised while Phil showers and does whatever else he needs to do to feel comfortable with how the evening is proceeding.

~~~

“Dan?”

Phil’s voice is more than welcome in the quiet of the lounge, but it still makes Dan jump a bit. He’d been lost in thought again, pondering over the amount of time they’ve spent together lately and trying to count in his head how many nights he’d spent at Phil’s over the last month. He’d just made it to thirteen when he hears Phil’s voice.

“Yeah?” Dan calls back, already rising from the sofa.

“Can you come here?” Phil replies, his voice a bit quieter. If Dan didn’t know any better, he’d almost say he sounded nervous.

When Dan steps into Phil’s bedroom, he nearly coos. Phil’s turned the overhead light off and lit a couple of candles, and he’s even got music playing from somewhere. It’s all very relaxing, and something about it feels sort of romantic. Dan bats that thought away immediately before it does something stupid, like settle in his already lovesick mind.

“Is this okay?” Phil asks, and Dan’s gaze snaps over to where Phil’s sat at the edge of the bed. Dan hadn’t even registered him sitting there at first, his mind trying to wrap around the way the room is set up. Phil definitely looks nervous, tugging at the hem of his sushi-printed boxers and avoiding eye contact. “I just thought... I don’t know, actually.”

“It’s nice,” Dan murmurs, going to join Phil on the bed. He’s trying to be considerate of the conversation they’re having, but honestly it’s a little hard considering Phil is practically naked, and god Dan loves to look at him. He nudges Phil’s knee with his own, prompting him to make eye contact. “It’s really lovely.”

Phil smiles, pleased. Something darkens in his gaze then, and before Dan has a chance to decipher that look, Phil is climbing onto his lap and gently pushing him to lay flat against the mattress. “This okay?” He murmurs as he kisses his way across Dan’s jaw.

Dan swallows hard, the kissing and weight of Phil on his lap sending heat to his groin. “Yeah,” he chokes out. “This is... fuck, this is perfect.”

Phil makes a humming sort of noise before finally pressing his lips to Dan’s, swiping his tongue against Dan’s bottom lip. Of course Dan opens up for him, feeling that tongue slip in easily. This is possibly Dan’s favorite kind of kissing, the kind that’s wet and maybe a little bit messy. It just feels good, in a way most things don’t.

Eventually, Dan’s hands trail over Phil’s pale back, tracing shapes down his spine with a featherlight touch before reaching his destination. Dan isn’t like, a hundred percent sure, but he’s actually pretty positive that Phil’s got the nicest bum in the world. It’s thick and soft and gives easily under the pressure of his kneading fingers.

“You’ve got the nicest ass,” Dan murmurs to Phil, pulling away just enough to get the words out properly.

Phil laughs against Dan’s neck, and Dan can’t help the full body tremor that happens when he feels pressure on the sensitive skin. “Do you want to fuck it?” Phil asks, in a voice that’s almost innocent.

Dan groans, kneading his cheeks with more purpose. “God. Yeah, I do. Can I?” He knows they’ve sort of already discussed this, but Phil’s allowed to change his mind.

“Of course,” Phil says with a little smile. He leans back, trailing his hands down Dan’s clothed chest before tucking his hands under his borrowed sweater and stroking the skin there. “Take your clothes off, babe.”

Dan feels a tingle down to his toes at the pet name, and has to remind himself very quickly to get a fucking grip. They’re just friends, this is just a friendly fuck. A mutual benefits kind of deal.

Maybe if he says it enough in his head, he’ll start to believe it.

He’s quick to discard of Phil’s stupid ladybird sweater, throwing it across the room blindly, which unsurprisingly earns him a pinch to the hip. “Don’t be rude to my favorite jumper, Daniel,” Phil chastises, a smile in his voice.

Dan’s got a retort on the tip of his tongue, but he bites it in favor of arching up into the way Phil’s stroking his chest, his thumbs catching on Dan’s nipples repeatedly. “Fuck. C’mere,” Dan mumbles, tugging Phil down by his neck. They’ve had enough sex together for Phil to know what he wants, so he goes easily, latching that wonderful mouth around a pink nub and sucking gently.

The sounds that fall out of Dan’s mouth are too loud in the quiet of the room, but if Phil wants him to be quiet, he’s got a funny way of showing it. Instead he reaches for Dan’s jeans, thumbing at the zipper without looking. He’s got them unlatched in seconds, pushing at the material like it offends him.

“Let me-“ Dan mumbles, pushing at Phil’s shoulders. Phil bites down on his nipple then, and Dan keens. It’s never felt so good before, but when they’re like this, it’s never better. “Fuck, fuck,” Dan chants, holding onto his willpower by a thread.

“You will,” Phil mumbles against his skin, kissing his way across to Dan’s other nipple, which has been quite ignored so far. In a feat of coordination Dan wouldn’t have thought him capable of, Phil manages to shuffle his lower half enough to yank Dan’s jeans down past his thighs without stopping the movements of his mouth.

If Dan wasn’t so stupidly turned on, he’d probably say something about how impressed he is.

Phil massages Dan’s thighs with gentle pressure for a while, kissing and sucking and biting at Dan’s nipple all the while. Dan is leaking through his pants at this point, and he makes a very pathetic sort of noise when Phil brushes a hand over his cock.

When Phil pulls away, it gives Dan just a brief moment to recover, but he still squirms under the heat of Phil’s gaze. “What?” Dan finally asks, when Phil won’t stop staring at him.

Phil shakes his head slowly, blinking like he’s coming out of a dream. Dan is positive that it shouldn't be as hot as it actually is. “You’re so gorgeous,” Phil murmurs, rubbing gently over Dan’s thigh.

Dan covers his blushing face with a squeak. He’ll never get used to this naked appreciation that Phil has for his body. A traitorous corner of his mind reminds him that he better not get used to something he’s not even allowed to keep. Dan clears his throat, twitching his head like he can shake the thought away.

“You know...” he starts slowly, a certain conversation coming back to him. “You said that part of the photo series was about sex, right?”

Phil freezes a little then. He’s quick to recover, but not quick enough for Dan not to notice it. “Sexual intimacy,” he corrects, his voice soft. “What about it?”

Dan shifts his hips pointedly. “I think this might be prime photo taking time, bub,” he jokes.

Something shifts in Phil’s face, and he stares down at Dan like he’s grown a second head. “You want me to take them now?” He asks.

Dan shrugs. “Might as well. We’re horny, and all. Kind of makes sense, doesn’t it?”

Phil draws his hands away from Dan’s thighs, and Dan immediately craves his touch again. “I thought you... I thought we were going to...”

“Fuck? Well, that’s the plan, yeah. Doesn’t mean you can’t get your photo thing done too. Two birds, one stone.” Dan doesn’t intend to sound so tetchy, but Phil’s hesitation is getting under his skin. Has he changed his mind? Is Dan’s body not good enough to be photographed in the light of intimacy? His head swirls with self doubt as he sits up. “Look, we don’t have to, but-“

Phil stops him with a hand on his shoulder. “No, we... that’s okay. I’ll, um... let me grab my camera.” His voice sounds wobbly all of a sudden, and Dan frowns.

“Phil, I-“

“It’s fine,” Phil interrupts, climbing off the bed. His face is horribly neutral, and Dan feels a churning, the bad kind, in his stomach.

He watches, wordlessly, as Phil leaves the room, returning a few minutes later with the fancy camera he totes around with them nearly everywhere they go. Dan tries not to glare at the stupid thing. Phil climbs back onto the bed and goes to straddle Dan’s lap again, clicking different things on the camera before holding it up. “Tilt your head,” he says softly.

Dan does, but Phil makes a tutting noise like it’s not what he wanted. Before Dan can ask for better instructions, Phil shifts forward, the movement effectively causing their hips to grind together. Dan can’t help his very human response, tossing his head back with a quiet moan. He hears the camera shutter, and for some reason his skin crawls. He tries to ignore it in favor of grinding up for more of that delicious pressure, reaching out blindly to grip Phil’s hips and pull him closer.

The camera goes off a few more times, but eventually Phil leans away and Dan hears the sound of it being set gently onto Phil’s bedside table. Dan opens his eyes, glancing around until he catches Phil’s gaze. Something has changed. Phil’s got a guarded look in his eye, and Dan feels his stomach clenching with nerves.

“Phil,” he whispers, reaching up and stroking Phil’s cheek gently. He watches as Phil’s eyes slip shut and he leans into the touch. Dan breathes out a sigh of relief at that. It’s a gamble, sometimes, showing even the slightest amount of affection. Because no matter how Phil reacts, Dan has to remember to keep his guard up, protect himself first and worry about the consequences of it all later.

“I want you,” Phil breathes against Dan’s palm.

“You have me,” is Dan’s immediate response. Even if it’s a lie, it’s a lie he feels comfortable telling, as long as it settles whatever is making Phil look so despondent.

Phil blinks at him, raising an eyebrow like a question. Dan nods. It’s worth it for the smile it puts on Phil’s face, for the way he looks down at Dan like he’s given him the world. It’s worth it even though it tears a hole in Dan’s chest. Phil presses a gentle kiss to Dan’s palm then, and Dan knows he’s absolutely fucked.

“How do you normally like it?” Phil asks, pulling away and doing an odd little wiggle to free himself from his pants. Even as ridiculous as he looks, Dan is naturally very distracted at the sight of his cock, and it takes him a second to process what Phil said.

“Oh, uh,” Dan says stupidly. Phil is looking at him with a smug little smirk, and Dan begs his brain to stop being so fucking gay, for like two seconds. “I’m not picky,” he eventually comes up with.

Phil’s lips twitch. “Really?”

Dan nods, watching the way Phil sits up on his knees and begins tugging at Dan’s jeans, which until this moment, Dan had honestly forgotten he was still wearing. “I’m easy,” he says, trying for a flirty tone but not quite getting there.

Phil snorts. He finally pushes the jeans down to Dan’s ankles, leaving Dan to finish kicking them off, paying no mind to how they crumple to the floor in a sad little heap. “Do you think you can handle it if I ride you?” Phil asks, tilting his head.

Dan’s not sure if he wants to laugh or moan. “Uh, yeah,” he stutters out stupidly.

“You sure?” Phil gives him a doubtful look. Dan almost bristles, but then Phil’s hand is diving under the band of his pants and wrapping around his hardness, and Dan can’t find it in himself to even be mildly offended.

“Fuck,” Dan whines. “Yes, just let me-” Dan wiggles helplessly, trying to push his pants off with the use of only one hand. His other is clutching Phil’s thigh, trying to keep himself under control while Phil wanks him.

Phil laughs quietly as he watches Dan struggle but he finally pushes at Dan’s pants, freeing him from them at last. “Are you comfy there?”

Dan nods, but flails an arm above his head in search of a pillow. Phil rolls his eyes and reaches out, tugging on the pillow Dan normally uses when he sleeps over. He pats at Dan’s shoulder to get him to sit up, and when he does, Phil gently places the pillow under his head before pushing his shoulders back down. “Better?” Phil asks.

“Yeah,” Dan says with a smile. “C’mere.” He tugs at Phil’s body, trying to manhandle him onto himself. Phil giggles, like actually giggles, as he complies, straddling Dan’s hips like before. Their nakedness is hard to ignore now, especially when Phil settles, their cocks rubbing together without a barrier between them. Dan groans, squeezing his eyes shut at the feeling.

“You okay?” Phil asks, rocking his hips gently.

Dan swats at him lightly, with absolutely no force behind it. “Don’t be a tease, you know I hate that,” he complains.

Phil grins. “I know you pretend to hate it,” he says, leaning down and kissing Dan’s mouth wetly.

Dan loses himself in it for a bit, forgetting to defend himself entirely. Instead he arches into the kiss and strokes his hands down Phil’s back, trailing his fingers down until he reaches the small of Phil’s back. He pauses there, stroking his fingertips up and down, but Phil arches, making a needy little noise in his throat, and Dan grins, pulling away from the kiss to speak. “Yeah?”

Phil nods, his eyelids fluttering shut. “Yeah. Touch me.”

Dan certainly doesn’t have to be told twice. He pushes his hands down further, kneading Phil’s ass cheeks with a firm hand. Phil groans, pressing back into the touch, and Dan feels a hot surge of arousal in his gut. It’s so beyond sexy for Phil to be on top of him like this, and then for him to be making those noises... Dan can hardly stand it.

“Condom?” He breathes against Phil’s jaw, trailing wet kisses along the smooth expanse of skin. Part of Dan wishes it was a bit stubbled, and then he’s wishing that he’d had the foresight to ask for something a little different. He’s never personally experienced it, but he’s heard good things about being rimmed by someone with facial hair, and he thinks if Phil put off shaving for a couple days, he’d be well on his way to a decent beard.

Dan shakes himself out of his horny fantasy when Phil moves off his lap. The whine that comes out of Dan’s mouth is embarrassing at best, and Phil rolls his eyes when Dan makes grabby hands for him. “Calm down, you actual goblin,” Phil chastises as he looks through the top drawer of his nightstand.

When he finds what he’s looking for he makes a little trumpet noise. Dan’s so endeared with him that it’s actually kind of ridiculous. Phil smiles at him with the same little happy grin he gets sometimes when he makes Dan smile, and Dan reaches out for him. His hand finds Phil’s thigh, and Dan scratches at the hair there while he watches Phil fight with the corner of the condom package.

“Need some help?” Dan asks, his voice softer than he’d intended.

Phil huffs, but shoves the packet into Dan’s hand with an adorably frustrated noise. “Stupid plastic,” he mumbles.

Dan nods as he rips the corner off easily. “Bad for the turtles,” he says mindlessly.

When he glances up, Phil is smiling at him stupidly. “Yeah,” he says, his tone affectionate. “Bad for the turtles.”

Dan grins and gets to work rolling the condom on, squinting when he realizes that it’s a bright blue color. “Uh, is this gonna like dye my dick blue or something, mate?”

Phil scrunches his face up in adorable disgust at that. “Okay, first of all- ew. Don’t call me “mate” when we’re...” he gestures between them pointedly, making eyes at Dan’s penis. “Secondly, no, you weirdo. Your dick will be fine, I just thought they were neat.”

He’s got a little flush on his cheeks when he’s finished with his rant, and Dan has to bite his tongue to keep himself from cooing at him. “Okay, babe, whatever you say,” Dan says, mostly teasing.

Phil bites his lip, but Dan can tell that the pet name does something to him. It may just come from a point of arousal instead of affection, but Dan will take what he can get. “Here,” Phil says, grabbing Dan’s hand and putting something in it.

When Dan looks down, he’s met with a bottle of lube, and he smirks. “You don’t want to put it on me?”

It was meant as a joke, but Phil’s nose crinkles like the idea disgusts him. Dan tries not to take offense. “I don’t like the texture,” he admits. “That’s why I prefer to, like, prepare in the shower. It’s cleaner and I can just wash the lube off my hands right there.”

Dan nods in understanding. Phil was a bit peculiar about textures of things that he touched. “Maybe next time I can help you out with that?” He means for it to come out as a sexy suggestion, but halfway through the sentence he loses his nerve and it comes out as more of a nervous question.

Phil leans down and kisses his shoulder. “Yeah,” he says simply. Then he nudges Dan’s hand. “Alright, get to work, I’m not getting any younger.” He waggles his eyebrows as he says this, making Dan snort.

“Bossy,” he mumbles as he pours a dollop of lube onto his hand. He tries not to feel watched as he covers himself with it, but he can feel Phil’s eyes on him like a touch. Instead of psyching himself out, he leans into the feeling, giving himself a couple good wanks before drawing his hand back. “Reckon that’s enough?” He asks as Phil settles in his lap again.

Phil shrugs. “You can add more if it isn’t,” he says with a cheeky grin.

Dan rolls his eyes, but Phil’s already sitting up and looking at him expectantly, so Dan reaches down, carefully guiding himself to Phil’s waiting hole. He grips Phil’s hip with his free hand, smiling when Phil reaches down to grip his wrist in a loose hold. They’re both quiet when Dan presses into Phil for the first time, almost holding their breath. It takes Dan a second to realize that Phil actually is holding his breath and he moves his hand to hold Phil’s, squeezing gently.

“Breathe, baby.”

Phil takes in a noisy breath, and his body relaxes enough for Dan to push inside past the first tight ring of muscle. He’s already sweating, the pressure he feels around the head of his cock absolutely maddening already. “Thrust up a bit,” Phil whispers, balancing himself with one hand on Dan’s chest, his other still kept in Dan’s grip.

Dan immediately obliges, pausing only to decipher the noise Phil makes when he bottoms out. “You okay?” He whispers, reaching up and stroking Phil’s chest in a soothing sort of way.

“Yeah,” Phil breathes, nodding. “It’s just, like... been a while.”

It’s stupid how happy those words make Dan. “Same,” he murmurs, trailing his hand up and petting at Phil’s collarbones.

Phil smiles down at him, shifting his hips a little to get used to the stretch. He leans down slowly, taking care not to disrupt the position, and peppers Dan’s face with kisses, only some of them landing on his lips. It feels like so much, all of this affection while he’s buried balls deep inside his best friend, and as much as Dan craves it, he can feel himself beginning to suffocate underneath it all.

Gently, so as not to hurt or surprise Phil, Dan reaches down to grip his hips, pulling out a little ways and thrusting back in. Phil moans against his cheek, and Dan smiles. “Good?” He asks, just to make sure.

“Yes,” Phil whispers. “Right- right there!” He nearly squeals the last part as Dan thrusts a few more times, keeping his angle. He must’ve managed to find Phil’s prostate like this, so he reaches one hand up to grip the back of Phil’s neck, holding him in place.

“You feel so good,” Dan whispers. It’s the truth, Phil always feels good whether they’re sharing a kiss, giving each other blowjobs, or just brushing shoulders as they sit on the couch watching a film. He realizes with a start that as incredible as this is, this isn’t even his favorite way to feel Phil, not by far.

“Mm,” Phil moans, barely coherent. Dan looks at him and smirks when he sees how out of it Phil is, watery, hooded eyes and his teeth digging into his bottom lip in a very Dan-esque fashion. “Meant to be riding you, though,” Phil finds enough brain cells to mutter.

Dan pulls him in for a wet kiss. He can’t not, not with Phil looking like this sat on his cock. When he releases him, he does so completely, tossing his arms over his head to rest on the pillow. He settles Phil with a challenging look. “Okay, so what am I doing all of the work for?”

Phil narrows his eyes at him as he sits up. “You lazy git,” he says, with no bite in his voice.

Dan smirks. “I could say the same about you.”

“Pft.” Phil seems to take this as a personal challenge, steadying himself on Dan’s chest with both hands before he begins moving his hips, doing little bounces at first before eventually abandoning that to grind in tight little circles.

Dan moans. Loudly.

“Fuck.”

“Shh, my neighbors will hear us,” Phil chastises.

Dan groans. “Fuck the fucking neighbors.” He grips Phil’s hips, digging his thumbs in a bit harder than he normally would, and he would probably feel bad if he had the brain capacity to think about it.

“Nah, I don’t think I will,” Phil says smugly.

Dan wants to roll his eyes in annoyance, but Phil just feels too good. He can’t focus on anything but tight, wet heat and searing blue eyes. “God. Make me come,” he grunts, grinding up into Phil. They’d been having sex together long enough that Dan knows Phil doesn’t mind him being a little bossy.

Phil shakes his head though, grinning. “Me first,” he says, grabbing Dan’s hand and pulling it over to his neglected cock. Dan’s pleasantly surprised to find that it’s only flagged a little, still mostly hard. It only takes him a couple of strokes to get him back to full hardness, but then Phil whines like he’s in pain.

“What?” Dan asks, immediately releasing him and stilling his hips. “Are you okay?”

Phil pouts. “It’s getting all tacky and drying out,” he complains.

It takes Dan’s horn-driven brain a second to understand what he’s talking about. “Oh, hang on, let me-“ he reaches blindly until his hand discovers the discarded bottle of lube, and he pats Phil’s hip with his dry hand so he’ll climb off for a second. As Dan’s lathering himself back up, he notices Phil rubbing at his thighs. “You alright?

“Yeah. Little tired though. My thighs hurt.” Phil gives him an apologetic smile.

Dan returns the smile easily. “That’s fine. Do you wanna try this a different way?”

Phil gives him a sheepish look. “Do you mind?”

He’s so considerate. Dan cares for him more than he wants to admit. “Not at all. How about...” he shuffles around on the bed, moving the pillow further up so that it’s out of the way. “Do you want to lay down or would you be okay on all fours?”

It’s funny, the horny expression that crosses Phil’s face as he considers the options. “I think... for now I think I'll lay down. I’m so out of shape, and my legs already feel a bit like jelly.”

Dan giggles. “Alright. Well, get comfy, then.”

As Phil settles himself on his back, he seems to be mulling something over. “I do want to try the- the other one. Like, some other time, obviously, but I do want to try it like that as well.” He sounds nervous, even shy, and Dan feels it settle somewhere in his chest.

“Sure,” he says quietly. He settles himself between Phil’s legs, running his hands up Phil’s calves and stopping at his knees. “You think you can be flexible for me?”

Phil nods. Dan helps him settle back, then brings both of his legs over Dan’s shoulders. Phil looks a little ridiculous, but he grins up at Dan, so Dan smiles back, tilting his head to kiss his knee. He curses himself afterwards, at the soft look Phil gives him. He’s probably already thinking of ways to distance himself from Dan, to tell Dan that they really should just finish the stupid photo series then never speak to each other again.

At least, that’s what’s running through Dan’s head at first. After a moment, however, Phil distracts him again by speaking in a soft voice.

“Are you okay?”

Dan can’t help but smile down at him. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

Phil tilts his head. He looks like a curious puppy. Dan keeps that thought to himself.

“About what?”

Dan nearly freezes at the innocent question, but reminds himself to stay calm to avoid suspicion. Instead of telling the whole truth, he smirks, reaching down to press his fingers to Phil’s perineum. “You,” he half-lies.

Phil smiles, his eyelids fluttering shut as Dan applies gentle pressure. “Mm. Might wanna start doing me instead of thinking about me, Howell. Running out of time, here.”

Dan knows that Phil’s just joking about it being late, but that cuts deep. He really is running out of time, already. This may be the last time he ever gets to have Phil like this, even if it’s technically the first.

“Hey,” Phil murmurs. Dan’s eyes refocus on him, and Phil smiles, a little twitch of his lips. “Come back,” he says.

Dan smiles at him. “I’m here,” he replies.

Phil reaches up, stroking Dan’s arms in gentle sweeps. “No. You were stuck in your head. Get out of there, come be with me for a little while.”

It’s stupid, but for a moment Dan thinks he might cry.

Instead, he leans down, pressing a kiss to Phil’s mouth. “I’m with you,” he murmurs, reaching down to line himself back up.

Phil gasps against his mouth when Dan presses back inside, but it’s a good noise, Dan thinks. “Mm,” Phil hums. “This is better.”

“Yeah?” Dan asks, grinning.

Phil nods, twirling his fingers around a curling piece of Dan’s hair. “I can feel you even deeper like this,” he murmurs, sounding inexplicably fond.

Dan makes a noise that’s somewhere between a whine and a whimper, and Phil tugs at his hair, pulling him down for a kiss. Dan slows his thrusting to a grind so they don’t knock their teeth together too much, and Phil opens his mouth up for him with a soft noise.

It’s softer like this, Dan realizes. They’re slow and careful as they drag fingers over damp skin and press kisses to any place they can reach. Dan’s never been a fan of the term, but this feels more like making love than anything he’s ever heard described in any movie or book.

He’s quick to bat that thought away though. If there’s one thing he understands about their arrangement, it’s that this is temporary.

He doesn’t want to think about that right now, though. Not when Phil is squeezing around him so tightly and he’s making these sounds, like he feels just as good as Dan does. So instead he does what any sensible person would do, sitting up and reaching down to take Phil’s dripping cock in his hand.

Phil keens, and Dan hides his pleased smile against Phil’s knee. “Good?” He asks softly.

Phil nods jerkily. “Really good,” he breathes. “Just, ah-“ he flaps his hand vaguely. “Bit dry.”

“Oh, hang on.” Dan pulls his hand away in search of the lube, but keeps idly thrusting his hips while he searches the sheets for it. Phil whines, and Dan glances down at him with a smirk. “There it is,” he says, brandishing the little bottle triumphantly when he spots it near Phil’s shoulder.

“Pour some more on you, too,” Phil says, reaching up to hold his thighs close to his chest so Dan can pull out.

Dan nods, resting a hand against the back of one of Phil’s thighs as he dribbles a bit over the length of his cock, pushing back in gently and glancing up at Phil to gauge his reaction. “Is that good enough?” He asks.

“Yeah,” Phil nods, gripping at his own hair. “I just don’t like the drag when it starts drying out.”

Dan smiles. He loves learning all these little intricacies about his favorite person. “You like it wet, no shame in that,” he teases, pouring a dollop on his hand and tossing the bottle to the side before wrapping Phil up in a tight grip. He’s learned a few things about how Phil likes to have his dick touched over the weeks that they’ve been doing this, and nothing is better than getting to practice them all.

Phil blushes at what Dan said, but doesn’t argue. “God,” he murmurs instead. “I’m getting really close, baby.”

Dan’s whole body tingles at the pet name. “Okay,” he murmurs, using his free hand to drag Phil’s legs back over his shoulders. He kisses Phil’s knee, trailing across to nip gently at a bit of thigh. Phil jerks, and Dan smiles down at him innocently.

“Cannibal,” Phil says affectionately.

“You like it,” Dan argues.

Phil doesn’t deny it. Instead, he shifts his hips to grind up against Dan, his eyes fluttering closed as Dan tightens his grip, wanking Phil’s cock with purpose. Phil sighs, a little punched out noise that has Dan feeling desperate, his hips driving in faster and harder to reach that place that Phil’s at.

It doesn’t take long. Listening to Phil’s noises and feeling his tight, wet heat around Dan’s cock are recipes for an early finish, but Dan is still a little impressed at how long he’s managed to hold out. Still, he feels a little bad for how quickly he’s approaching that finish line, with Phil still whining and twitching beneath him, like he can’t quite reach it himself.

“C’mon, bub,” Dan breathes, nipping at Phil’s thigh again and twisting his wrist on an upstroke. “I want you to come first.”

“I’m trying,” Phil whines. “It’s- it’s too much, too-“

Dan gets a weird idea. Weird, because, well, it feels incredible to be buried inside Phil’s body like this, as close as two people can be, and honestly someone would have to fight to pull him away from that any other time.

So it’s weird that instead, he pulls out gently, shushing Phil’s noise of protest as he crawls down Phil’s body so that he’s level with Phil’s cock. “Oh,” Phil breathes when Dan ghosts his lips over the tip, dragging his mouth down lower to kiss and suck at his balls. His hands go exploring, searching lower until he finds exactly what he’s looking for.

Phil groans when Dan pushes two fingers inside, and Dan hears the complaint before Phil has a chance to make it. “Your hand’s too dry, Danny.”

“Shh, I know,” Dan placates him, pulling his hand out after a gentle prod around. He glances up at Phil for a second, and when he sees that Phil’s got his eyes closed, head thrown back, Dan grins. Phil’s a little on the shy side about certain parts of sex, and so he’s not sure how Phil would feel about this particular idea if Dan were to ask him.

So instead of asking with words, Dan gives a last gentle kiss to Phil’s balls, then kisses further down, slow enough that Phil could stop him if he wanted.

He doesn’t.

Dan reaches his destination and places a light kiss to the pink puffy rim before him, and he hears Phil’s sharp intake of breath.

“Dan,” he breathes, his voice tight.

“Can I?” Dan asks, excited. He loves doing this for people, even though it wasn’t something he was often allowed.

Phil seems to be struggling to decide. “I...”

Dan kisses him there again, gently. “I’ll be gentle, I promise,” he says softly, looking up at Phil with what he hopes are perfect puppy eyes.

Phil reaches down, brushing Dan’s damp, curling hair out of his eyes. “Yeah,” he agrees after a moment. “Just...” He looks embarrassed.

Dan thinks he gets that. He’s not usually shy about sex like Phil is, but he understands how nerve wracking this particular sex act is, especially with a new partner. “I’ll make it good for you,” he promises, grabbing Phil’s hand and pressing a quick kiss to his palm.

Phil rubs his thumb over Dan’s lips. “I know,” he says softly. He shifts to give Dan more room, and Dan takes that as an invitation.

He dives back in, gentle, just like he promised. He starts with kisses at first, just gentle brushes of his lips while one hand reaches up to wank Phil’s cock, which is still rock hard and hot. Dan slowly introduces a bit of tongue, just an occasional brush against Phil’s rim until he hears him whimper. Dan can tell without looking that it’s a good noise, Phil’s legs shaking with pleasure.

After that, Dan’s a little less cautious. He’s basically making out with Phil’s hole, so he fully commits to it, pressing his tongue in as far as it’ll go, using one hand to hold Phil in place. He struggles to get the position right at first, but then Phil’s hands appear, reaching down to hold himself open, giving Dan plenty of space to work. Dan glances up at him with a grin and a wink. “Thanks,” he mumbles against Phil’s puffy hole as he dives back in.

He laps and sucks and fucks him with his tongue, and eventually Phil is grabbing his hair, moaning loudly above him. Dan will pat himself on the back for this later, but right now he just really, really wants to make Phil come.

“Close,” Phil breathes. “Really fucking close.”

Dan doubles his efforts, wanking him fast and sucking hard and it takes just two, three strokes, and then Phil’s body is seizing up, tight like a wire before he finally releases with a long sigh.

Dan kisses his hole once more, nuzzling his thigh gently before kissing his way back up, lapping at the come cooling on Phil’s stomach just a bit, just enough that Phil groans and squeezes his eyes shut when he looks down and sees him.

Then, Dan decides it’s his turn. He’s hard and aching and ready to burst, but he’s polite enough to give Phil some space to recover. For a moment, at least, and then he’s tugging the condom off and swinging his legs over Phil, rutting his cock against the come smeared all over his stomach.

“Fuck, Dan,” Phil groans. “You’re gonna make me hard again.”

Dan shrugs. “That’s fine. We can go again. Maybe you can fuck me this time,” he says with a cheeky grin. He’s mostly kidding. He’s already feeling exhausted, and at this point he just wants to come his brains out and then immediately pass the fuck out for the night.

Phil seems to be on the same page. “Maybe another night,” he says vaguely, reaching forward and gripping Dan’s hips. “Come here, I’ll blow you the rest of the way.”

Dan smiles and crawls up Phil’s body to straddle his chest, holding his cock to Phil’s lips. “Here comes the airplane,” Dan says in a stupid voice.

“Shut up,” Phil laughs. He tugs Dan forward by his ass, holding his mouth open like a baby bird.

Dan really needs to stop with the childish references before he gives himself a complex.

Instead, he focuses on the feeling of Phil’s mouth. Dan thinks that he’s got this down to a science by now, knows all the right places Dan likes to have touched when he’s getting a blowjob, knows the exact pressure he can use when sucking to really make Dan’s eyes roll back in his head. It’s kind of perfect, if he’s being completely honest.

It doesn’t take him long, not with how long he’s been aching to come, and when he does it’s with a long whine and a full-body shiver. Phil swallows and gives his cock a sweet little kiss, looking up at him with this adoring smile.

“I love it when you do that,” he says.

Dan quirks an eyebrow. “Do what? Come in your mouth?” He smirks.

Phil rolls his eyes, pinching his naked hip in reprimand. “No. That cute little shiver thing you do when you come. It makes me feel like I did a good job.”

And that’s... really adorable, that Phil would even be worried about that.

Dan scoots himself down Phil’s chest so that he’s laying flat on top of him, then smashes their lips together messily. He can taste himself on Phil’s tongue, sharp and salty and a little bit gross. He still likes it though, probably more than he should. So he lets himself indulge for a while, relaxing his weight onto Phil’s body and plying him with kisses.

Eventually, Phil pushes him away a bit. “I’m covered in semen,” he says matter-of-factly.

Dan sits up, looking down at the mess now smeared across both of their chests. “I suppose we both are,” he observes. “Wonder what we ought to do about that.”

Phil smiles tiredly. “Can we just do a quick wash up? I’m really tired.”

“Sure,” Dan nods. He goes to climb off of Phil’s lap, when a thought hits him. “Should we do some more photos?”

Phil flinches. “Now?”

Dan shrugs. “Yeah. I mean... I’m all debauched, I reckon that’s what you’re going for, right?”

Phil stares at him for a long time. Dan feels his gaze like a brand, and it makes him twitch. Finally, Phil shakes his head. “No. I got enough photos for that part.”

“Oh,” Dan says slowly. “Okay.”

There’s a moment of silence as they stare at each other, and then Phil leans back, closing his eyes. “Can you go get something to clean us up with?” His voice is flat.

Dan’s heart squeezes. “Sure,” he whispers. He feels chastised, even if Phil really hadn’t said anything out of order. He climbs off of Phil gingerly, being careful not to touch him more than necessary. It feels wrong, now, to be this naked together, and Dan makes sure to grab his pants from the floor on his way out, as well a random shirt. It’s probably not his, but they’ve fallen into a habit of sharing clothes a lot lately so there’s a good chance that it might be.

He goes to the bathroom and wets a cloth, carefully cleaning himself up and dressing in silence. His heart is racing all of a sudden, like he’s two seconds away from a panic attack, and he really, really doesn’t want to deal with that on top of everything else right now.

Quietly, he returns to Phil’s bedroom with the damp cloth, hovering by the bed awkwardly, looking down at Phil, whose eyes are still closed. His breathing is too uneven for him to be asleep, but Dan feels strange, like he’s not supposed to speak to him when he’s like this. He tries not to think about which part of his childhood instilled this particular behavior.

“I can feel you staring at me,” Phil says suddenly, interrupting the weird, tense silence.

“Sorry,” Dan mumbles.

Phil blinks up at him, and Dan’s never seen him look so tired. Like the weight of the universe is clinging to his shoulders. “Clean me up?” He asks, voice soft.

Dan’s shoulders relax and he lets out a breath. “Yeah, course,” he murmurs. He drags the cloth over Phil’s chest and stomach, wiping away all the evidence of their activities, then carefully cleans up around his dick before going lower. Phil hisses, and Dan stops immediately. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just sensitive. Be gentle.” Phil looks at him with kind eyes, like he already knows that Dan will do his best.

“Yeah,” Dan agrees. He carefully cleans up the tacky, drying lube, and when he’s finished, he holds the cloth in his hand, slightly disgusted.

“Just toss it wherever,” Phil says, flapping a hand, uncaring. “It’ll get into the wash eventually.”

Dan at least has the decency to drop it far enough from the bed that there’s very little chance that either of them will step on it, but with empty hands, he’s suddenly unsure of his purpose. He shifts awkwardly near the door, hesitating. He wants to stay, but he’s not sure if he’s allowed. They don’t always sleep together after, well, sleeping together, but tonight... Dan really fucking wants to.

“Are you coming to bed or are you just going to stand there creeping?” Phil asks eventually, looking over at Dan like he’s gone crazy.

Dan could crumple with relief at that. “Yeah,” he says, making his way back across the room and sliding into bed next to Phil. “I wasn’t sure if, like, you wanted me to stay.”

Phil snorts. Dan tries not to be offended, since he doesn’t really know the reason for the rather unattractive sound. “I always want you to stay,” Phil mumbles, wrapping around Dan like an octopus once he’s settled.

“Me too,” Dan whispers, wrapping his arms around Phil’s waist. He’s clinging, but Phil is too, a bit, so Dan doesn’t feel too guilty. He does realize, however, that Phil is still naked. This feels like it needs to be said. “You’re naked,” he says softly, stroking Phil’s shoulder with gentle sweeps.

“Mm,” Phil hums. “Yeah. That okay?”

Dan snorts. “Of course. As long as you’re comfy.”

Phil nuzzles him then, like a proper nuzzle, and Dan knows he’s not going to be able to escape his very real feelings for much longer.

“Dan?” Phil says eventually, breaking the lull of almost-sleep Dan has fallen into.

“Hm?” Dan mumbles, his eyes already closed.

Phil’s quiet for long enough that Dan is mostly asleep when he speaks again. “You like me, don’t you?”

Dan hums, a sleep-drunk noise that’s barely coherent.

“Dan,” Phil says again, nudging him. “You do, right?”

“Mhm,” Dan mumbles, sighing noisily and snuggling in close to Phil. “Like you best,” he says nonsensically.

Phil makes a noise then, that Dan’s mostly-asleep brain deciphers as a pleased noise. He whispers something against Dan’s hair, but Dan loses it to the clutches of sleep.

~~~

When Dan wakes up, he knows something is wrong. It’s still dark out, but the bed is empty and the sheets are cold, and even as he tries to claw his way out of the haze of sleep, he knows that something about that should raise some alarm.

“Phil?” He calls, patting around on the bed for his phone. The screen is too bright when it powers on, showing a hideous three a.m. that makes Dan want to gag. But part of him, the part that’s spent maybe fourteen nights with Phil so far, is very concerned about this turn of events.

Quietly, as if there’s someone to wake, he crawls out of the bed, shivering in the chilled air. He quickly grabs a random blanket that’s thrown over the back of Phil’s desk chair, wrapping it around his shoulders as he goes in search of Phil.

A peek into the bathroom and kitchen has him coming up empty, so he journeys into the lounge, unnerved by how quiet and dark everything is. He shivers as he turns slowly in the space, and his breath catches when he sees movement out on the balcony.

He relaxes when he realizes that it’s Phil, and paces over to see what the fuck has him out of bed and in the cold, half-dressed at three in the morning. Dan taps on the glass door before he slides it open, making sure Phil isn’t startled by his presence.

It appears he needn’t have bothered, as Phil barely glances at him when Dan steps out on the balcony. Instead, he stares out at the sky before him, not sparing Dan a single look.

Dan can’t take the silence for long. “Having a nice freeze?” He jokes quietly.

Phil doesn’t laugh. His lips barely twitch. “Yeah,” he says flatly.

Dan shuffles, looking down at his feet. He’s already freezing, and he’s got far more layers on than Phil. Phil, who is only wearing a t-shirt and Sonic-printed pants that peek out from under his shirt just a bit. “Are you cold?” He asks softly.

“Why’re you out of bed?” Phil asks, ignoring his question.

Dan startles a bit at his tone. “I was looking for you,” he says, almost petulant. “I woke up alone, and I wanted to know where you were.”

“Well, you found me,” he says. He still doesn’t look at Dan.

“Yeah,” Dan says slowly. “Wishing I didn’t, to be honest.”

Phil finally glances at him, quirking an eyebrow. “Hm,” is all he says.

“Why’re you being a dick?” Dan asks bluntly. He’s always been one to get straight to the point, as he’s been told by many people in his life.

Phil sighs, settling back in his chair and closing his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he says, his voice low. “I don’t mean to be. I’m just tired.”

Dan takes a risk, stepping forward to stand between Phil’s knees. “So come back to bed,” he mumbles, nudging Phil’s knee playfully with his own.

Phil’s lips twitch in an almost-real smile, and Dan savors that victory while he can. This turns out to be a good thing, because when Phil opens his mouth, it’s not what Dan wants to hear. “You can go back to bed. I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

Dan frowns. “I don’t want to go back to bed unless you come too.” He sounds like a child, but he can’t help it.

Apparently Phil picks up on the whiny tone, as well. “Dan, I’m really not in the mood,” he sighs.

“In the mood for what?” Dan demands, his temper flaring.

Phil rolls his eyes. That pisses Dan off even more, if it’s possible. “To argue. Just, go to sleep, or watch tv, or something.”

Dan hates himself for it, but he feels rejected. “I’m not trying to argue with you,” he starts, wrapping his arms around himself as a gust of wind blows over the balcony. Phil shivers, and Dan’s heart clenches. “You’re cold,” he says gently.

“I’m fine.”

“Right.”

“Dan, just...” Phil sighs, rubbing his eyes.

Dan doesn’t want to hear what he’s about to say. “Do you want me to leave?” He asks suddenly, his stomach twisting with the thought. London at three in the morning was a terrifying place.

“Of course not,” Phil replies vehemently. “I want you to stay, I just...” he sighs, running his hands through his hair and making it stand up at funny angles. “My head’s being loud,” he murmurs eventually.

“Oh,” Dan replies. This is really the first time Phil has shared this side of himself, this side that feels pain and annoyance and discomfort.

“Yeah,” Phil says. “So I came out here to try and clear it.”

Dan feels guilty, suddenly. “And then I came out here and made it worse,” he fills in.

Phil shakes his head immediately, reaching out for Dan and gripping his hip. “No, you didn’t. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

“It’s okay,” Dan mumbles. He hates his body’s natural reaction to this kind of stress, as he can feel hot tears pinpricking his eyes. He blinks rapidly, hoping Phil won’t notice.

Of course, Phil notices. “Come here,” he murmurs, pulling Dan in to sit on his lap.

Dan goes willingly, settling into Phil’s arms that wrap around him, one hand coming up to rub his back in gentle sweeps. “Sorry,” Dan mumbles, wiping at his eyes with the edge of the blanket.

“It’s okay,” Phil says softly. “I’m sorry I upset you.”

“You didn’t,” Dan immediately says. It’s a lie, but his natural instinct is apparently protect Phil first and then feel guilty about it later.

Phil kisses his cheek. “I know that I did,” he says gently. “I’m sorry.”

Dan stays quiet, nuzzling against Phil’s neck, curling up as if he can make himself smaller by sheer will alone.

They sit in silence for a long while and then eventually, Phil sighs. “We should go back to bed.”

“Is your head still loud?” Dan asks.

Phil pats his back, prompting him to climb off his lap. “It is, but it’s fine. I’ll go to sleep eventually.”

Dan doesn’t move from his spot, chewing on his lip as he considers something. He turns so that he’s facing Phil, offering a timid grin. “I think I have a better idea.”

~~~

“This is not exactly what I thought you had in mind,” Phil says, his voice sounding very skeptical.

Dan huffs. “Quit being a hater,” he says, snuggling back against Phil. They’re sat on the sofa, Phil leaning back against the arm with Dan tucked between his legs, his back pressed to Phil’s chest.

Phil kisses his neck. “Sorry. What’re we doing again?” He wraps his arms around Dan’s waist, squeezing him like a teddy bear. Dan doesn’t mind being that teddy bear at all.

“You’re gonna help me decorate my island and my house on the new Animal Crossing game,” Dan informs him, leaving no room for debate.

“And why are we doing this instead of sleeping?”

“Because you said you probably wouldn’t be able to sleep,” Dan says, rolling his eyes.

Phil kisses his neck again, and nuzzles at his shoulder, biting gently and playfully. “Okay, so instead of not-sleeping,” he says, a certain lilt to his voice. “Why are we doing this?”

Dan tilts his head to give him a look. “Because this is just a mindless little video game, and I think it would make you feel better to focus on something unimportant for right now. Something that’ll keep your brain busy but not in a bad way, you know?”

Phil looks at him for what feels like a long time before finally nodding. He kisses Dan’s cheek softly, lingering just a little. “Okay, fine. Let’s check out this island, then.”

~~~

“That is so tacky,” Dan complains.

“It’s not!”

“Phil, it doesn’t match.”

“So?”

Dan groans, crossing his arms petulantly. He’d handed the switch over to Phil when he realized that Phil was already familiar with the concept of Animal Crossing. He hadn’t played New Horizons yet, though, so Dan thought this was a perfect opportunity to get a taste of the game before he committed to buying it for himself.

“I’m gonna have so much to fix when you get done playing,” Dan complains.

Phil pinches his thigh. “Shut up, rat. Now where can I go with all these fossils? Should we sell them?”

Dan screeches, a fair impression of a pterodactyl. “No! Take them to the museum, you tit.”

Phil giggles behind him, and Dan feels it vibrate against his back. “Fine, fine. Where’s the museum?”

Sighing loudly in a very put-upon way, Dan guides him through the game to where his museum is located, screeching and complaining when Phil gets his lefts and rights confused and can’t figure it out. By the time Phil gets there, they’re both giggling uncontrollably, poking at each other repeatedly just to start laughing again. It’s so nice, Dan thinks. This is just what they needed. Even if it is nearly five in the morning and they’ve gotten absolutely no sleep, this is what they needed.

“Hey,” Phil says softly after a few minutes, once they’ve mostly settled down.

“Hm?” Dan replies, watching the screen as Phil makes Dan’s character run around in circles.

“Thank you, for this.” Phil’s voice is quiet, and it almost feels like too much, there in the darkness when they’re wrapped around each other like this.

“Of course,” Dan murmurs to him, tilting his head back and puckering his lips for a kiss. Phil grants him with a gentle peck, and Dan turns back to the game, pretending that the pointless kiss didn’t send an army of butterflies raging through his chest.

“You really knew exactly what I needed to calm down,” Phil says, sounding almost in awe of the fact.

Dan snorts. “Of course. You’re my best friend, Phil.” He hesitates, then, nervous that he may have crossed a line that he’s not ready to cross. “I mean- I may not be yours, and like, that’s fine, I just-“

“You’re mine, too,” Phil says quickly. Dan glances up in time to see Phil blushing. “You’re my best friend.”

They stare at each other for a minute that feels like forever, and then Dan clears his throat. “Right. Glad we got that cleared up,” he says, trying to joke.

Phil tightens his grip on Dan’s waist, and Dan tries to pretend that it doesn’t make his heart pound. “Should we go back to bed?” Phil says softly.

Dan smirks at that. “Round two?”

He feels a laugh vibrate against his back and a kiss pressed to the top of his head. “Don’t know about that, babe. I’m actually kind of exhausted.”

“Yeah,” Dan agrees. “It’s getting late. Or early, depending on how you look at it.”

Phil sighs, nodding. “And I’ve got to meet Martyn in the morning.” For all the time Dan has known him, Phil has never sounded so upset about meeting up with his brother.

“Well we definitely need to hit the sack, then,” Dan says. He pats Phil’s arm that’s wrapped around his waist and sits up. “C’mon, bub. To bed, to bed.”

Phil allows himself to be pulled off the sofa and down the hall into his room. Dan tugs Phil’s shirt off with no other intention than making Phil more comfortable, and Phil’s got a soft look on his face when his head emerges. Dan brings a hand up to rest at Phil’s neck, rubbing his thumb over his pulse gently. It’s a moment that feels like it’s suspended in time, their breaths evening out to match. Dan thinks that maybe, maybe this is what it would feel like if they were actually together. Maybe this hot air balloon feeling would be comfortable someday, if he was allowed to grow more used to it. As it is now, it’s so unfamiliar that Dan feels like he might choke with how overwhelming his feelings are.

“Dan,” Phil breathes in the limited space between their lips.

The moment is shattered, and Dan forces himself to pull away. “I’m tired,” he says. His voice is flat.

He doesn’t miss the hurt on Phil’s face, for the flash of a second that it’s there. It’s gone before he gets the chance to feel properly guilty over it, and Phil’s turning away, crawling under the sheets without a word.

Dan settles on the side he’s come to think of as his own, but there’s an undeniable tension in the air between them now. He pretends there’s not, reaching out and turning off the bedside lamp. “Goodnight,” he whispers once he resettles.

He’s greeted with silence.

~~~

The next morning, Dan wakes up alone.

The light is streaming in through Phil’s shitty blinds, and Dan groans out his discomfort, flailing about like he can will the sunshine away by sheer force alone. It doesn’t work, obviously, but his flailing about does bring his attention to the emptiness of the bed.

He sits up, rubbing the exhaustion out of his eyes with sleep-numb fingers. “Phil?” he calls out. His voice echoes in the quiet of the room.

When he doesn’t immediately hear a reply, Dan starts worrying, because of course he does. He’s never woken up totally alone in Phil’s flat. On the rare occasions when Phil isn’t still in bed with him, Dan always finds him in the kitchen or bathroom, or somewhere. But a quick search of the flat has him coming up empty and he’s trying not to panic, really he is, but he actually can’t help it.

He calms down a little when he notices a note pinned to the fridge. It’s a little ridiculous how relieved he is when he pulls it down to read it.

Dan- I would’ve texted but I didn’t want to wake you up. I’m just out to breakfast with Martyn. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. I hope you’ll still be there when I get home. Phil

He’s signed the note with a heart beside his name, and Dan refuses to think about how that makes him feel. Instead he focuses on the last part. I hope you’ll still be there when I get home. The idea that Phil would still want to see him again, after the awkwardness of the night before, makes his heart pound. He feels almost sick with guilt over how he’d acted. But he had been so overwhelmed, with the sex and the emotions that came with it. It was no surprise that he was pushing Phil away by the end of the night.

Dan sighs, folding the note carefully and making his way back to Phil’s bedroom. He tucks the note into his backpack, and then he just sort of stops. He’s not sure what to do, alone in Phil’s flat. It’s not something that’s ever happened before, he realizes with a start. Of course he’s spent the night with Phil before, several times by now, but this is the first time he’s found himself waking up alone on a Saturday in the other man’s flat, with no real idea of when he’s coming back. It’s probably stupid, how much he’s already missing Phil, when he’s got no idea how long he’s even been gone.

It takes Dan a few minutes of searching, but eventually he finds his phone amidst the sheets, and he sighs when he doesn’t see any notifications. He debates with himself for a minute or two, but ultimately decides that yes, he is that pathetic, and opens his chat with Phil. All he does is type out a quick “good morning” before going to find a phone plug, a mocking thirteen percent glaring at him from the top of his screen.

He’s barely gotten the phone plugged in when it vibrates with a notification. It buzzes two more times before Dan manages to swipe over to the messages, and he grins when he sees what’s there.

Phil: hi! Phil: why did we stay up so late 😭 Phil: I swear I have some sort of weird sober hangover

Dan grins as he types out a response, leaning awkwardly on Phil’s desk as he does.

Dan: Idk bub I guess maybe you should’ve stayed in bed Dan: you know, instead of abandoning me

Phil: I had to meet my brother!

Dan: I’m naked though

It’s sort of a lie, since Dan is wearing a pair of Phil’s pants, but he could easily be naked, if he was so inclined.

Phil: ..... okay maybe I should’ve stayed at home

Dan smirks to himself. This part of their arrangement, at least, is easy.

Dan: where r u guys at

Phil: That cafe close to the park Phil: The one you said had hipster vibes

Dan: ew of course martyn would like that place

Dan’s never actually met him but from what he hears from Phil, Martyn’s definitely the hipster-y type.

Phil: You wanna come meet us? Martyn keeps asking about you

Dan: you want me to meet your brother?

He’s trying to be normal about this. Because really, that’s a normal thing. Friends do that. Friends meet their friends’ siblings and families all the time.

It’s the “friends” part that Dan is having trouble with, actually.

Phil: Yes.

Dan hesitates. That does sound kind of nice, actually, but something in him doesn’t really know what his answer should be. He knows what he wants it to be, of course. He definitely knows that.

He must take too long to answer, because suddenly his phone is vibrating in his hand, the constant vibrate of an incoming call. Of course it’s Phil, and of course Dan answers almost immediately.

“I still can’t believe you’re the kind of person who just calls when they don’t get a text back,” Dan says in lieu of a hello.

Phil sounds like he’s smiling when he replies. “Come to the cafe. I’ll buy you breakfast.”

Dan makes a considering noise, as if he’s not already digging around Phil’s dresser for something to wear. “Alright, fine. But I’m not putting out.”

Phil laughs. “Yes you will,” he says quietly. Dan wonders if Martyn can hear both sides of this conversation. “Now hurry up. I want another croissant, but I don’t wanna order twice.”

“Okay but I’m borrowing your clothes,” Dan says, tugging on a pair of dark grey sweats. He goes to the closet, looking through the selection with pursed lips.

“Fine,” Phil says, unbothered. “Wear something warm, it’s cold out.”

Dan smiles. “Okay. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Bye, Dan.” The call disconnects with a click, leaving Dan to select a shirt in silence. He debates with himself for all of a minute before tugging at Phil’s hoodie from his university days, tugging it over his head easily. It’s hideous, but it makes him feel warm when he wears it, both literally and figuratively. It’s well worn with all the years of use it’s seen, but it also makes Dan feel a little possessive. As if anyone who sees him will somehow assume that he belongs to someone just because of a stupid sweater, with a university insignia on it that’s not his own.

He tells his brain to shut the hell up as he makes his way out of Phil’s flat, locking the door behind him with the spare key Phil keeps above the door. He considers slipping it into his pocket but figures that if he comes back it’ll be with Phil anyway, so it would be pointless to pocket the key.

It’s a short walk to the cafe he’s headed for, but he still tucks his AirPods in and scrolls through one of his many pretentiously named playlists until he finds one of his favorite Frank Ocean songs, one that’s really good to listen to while he walks. He hums along as he walks, stuffing his hands in his borrowed hoodie pocket. Phil wasn’t joking about the weather, and Dan’s already regretting his lack of undershirt as the wind nips at every bit of exposed skin.

When the cafe comes into sight, it’s a very welcome thing, and Dan stuffs his AirPods back in their case as he pushes the door open. There’s no happy little bell ringing out the sound of his arrival, not like the little cafe that he and Phil always go to on their own. Still, it’s a warm building, and somewhere in it is the promise of food and Phil, so Dan is pleased to be there anyway.

It doesn’t take him long to spot Phil and his brother sitting at a table towards the back of the cafe. And from the goofy look on Phil’s face, it didn’t take them long to spot him either.

“Hi,” he says when he reaches the table. He didn’t realize it until now, as he’s face to face with the infamous older Lester brother, but he’s nervous. He’s so nervous to meet someone that he knows is so important to a person who’s so important to him.

“Hi,” Phil parrots, sliding over and patting the space of booth next to him. “Cute top,” he smirks as he looks over Dan’s outfit, making Dan’s cheeks flame in mild embarrassment.

When Dan slides in, he offers a smile to the stranger across from them, unsure what to say. He turns to Phil with the intentions of making some sort of joke, but he’s thrown off track by Phil leaning in, planting a short kiss right on his mouth. Dan startles away, his heart racing as he shoots a panicked glance over to Phil’s brother.

Martyn looks completely unbothered, and more unsurprised than Dan thinks he’s really got a right to. “So you must be Dan,” he says, his tone neutral. He’s got a smirk on his face, or what Dan thinks might be one if his eyes weren’t also a bit smiley. “Unless my brother is just in the habit of kissing strange boys.” He sends Phil a funny look, his mouth doing a mimicry of Phil’s precious tongue bite thing.

“Er-“ Dan says with an awkward laugh. “Yeah, I’m Dan.”

Martyn reaches his hand across the table, and Dan accepts the handshake, still a little shaken by the weirdness of the whole encounter. He’s trying not to think about the other reason he feels a little shaken, or the way his lips feel decidedly tingly from Phil’s kiss.

“I’m Martyn, his brother. It’s nice to finally meet you,” Martyn is saying. Dan forces himself to pay attention. “Phil never shuts up about you.”

“Martyn,” Phil hisses. There’s a thudding noise and Martyn winces. Dan knows without asking that Phil just kicked him. Phil smiles sweetly at Dan, and Dan can’t help but lean into the warmth of his gaze. “What would you like for breakfast?”

“Hm,” Dan hums thoughtfully. “There was mention of croissants?”

Phil rolls his eyes, but nods. “I’ll go get you your usual carb selection. Scooch.”

Dan dimples up at him as he slides out of the booth so that Phil can get up to go order. As Phil passes him, Dan makes a split-second decision and kisses his cheek, his body desperate to release some of the affectionate energy he’s got stored up from a morning without him. “Get me something sweet too?” Dan requests as he slides back into the booth.

Phil grins at him. “You’ve already got me, though!”

Martyn makes a retching noise and Dan feels himself blush as Phil trots over to the counter to order their food. Dan forgets to be nervous about being left alone with Phil’s brother for a second, so wrapped up in watching the awkward hand gestures Phil makes as he selects an array of croissants and muffins for them.

His brief reverie is ruined when he hears Martyn clear his throat from across the table. Dan jerks at the noise, startled. Martyn sends him an apologetic smile, and Dan finds himself relaxing. Martyn really isn’t that scary in person.

“If he wasn’t so tall, I’d swear he’s a hobbit,” Martyn says, nodding towards his brother.

It takes Dan a minute to think about it, but he grins when it clicks. “Are we on second breakfast or elevensies?” he jokes.

Martyn laughs, seemingly pleased that Dan understood the reference. “Definitely elevensies,” he says.

Dan smiles, shaking his head in fond exasperation as he sneaks another glance at Phil. “He eats like he’s been starved for twelve years. I don’t know where he puts it all,” Dan jokes, rolling his eyes.

Martyn grins. “One of the world’s greatest mysteries,” he agrees. He glances over at Phil for a second, like he’s checking that he’s still preoccupied, and then he’s turning back to Dan, a thoughtful look on his face. “Phil seems really happy these days.”

“Yeah?” Dan says lightly, trying his hardest not to let that go to his head. He can’t hide the smile it causes though, but he tries, biting down on his lip hard.

“Yeah,” Martyn confirms. He taps the table a little, peeking over his shoulder at Phil again. Phil’s chatting with the barista as they prepare the drinks, and Dan just knows that Phil is trying to tell some weird coffee joke that he tells every time he’s in a coffee shop. Dan’s attention is brought back to Martyn when he speaks again, his voice quieter than before. “We never thought he’d get over his ex-boyfriend, to be honest with you. He was so hung up over him, even after the breakup.” Martyn shakes his head, taking a sip of his coffee with a pained look in his eyes.

Dan feels like he’s been doused in cold water all of a sudden, the thought of there being some other man, some other partner before him... But then again, he reminds himself bitterly, they aren’t partners. They’re just friends who... friends who sleep together sometimes. And that’s enough for Dan. But if that’s all they are, he can’t bear this- hearing about some ex-boyfriend that left Phil broken and obsessed. Some person out there that’s been lucky enough to have the parts of Phil that Dan himself isn’t allowed to have, and then wasted it. He can’t handle it.

Martyn doesn’t seem to notice the breakdown Dan is having, steamrolling right over the topic like it’s nothing. “So I’m sure you can imagine my surprise when Phil told me that he met someone.”

Dan startles at that. The way he phrased it makes it sound like Martyn has a very different perspective on their situation. Almost like Phil told him they were...

“Freshly made breakfast, per your request,” Phil announces as he appears beside the table, his arms laden with various treats and pastries.

“You say that like we don’t know they’re thawed out of a freezer every morning and then chucked in a microwave,” Martyn says, grinning.

“Well... they smell delicious, so surely that counts for something,” Phil says, flapping a hand, completely unbothered by Martyn’s comment. He starts sorting out the food, and Dan doesn’t realize he’s staring until Phil turns to speak to him, freezing when he catches the undoubtedly intense look on Dan’s face. “Are you okay?” Phil asks, his voice dropping to something soft.

Dan nods, trying to shake himself out of it. It’s fine. Everything is fine, so he needs to get a grip and get over himself. “Did you forget our coffee?” He asks, looking pointedly at the table.

Phil makes an offended noise, immediately followed by an “oh- yeah.”

Dan rolls his eyes, looking over at Martyn and shaking his head with a mocking thumb pointed in Phil’s direction. Dan can’t help but grin when Martyn laughs at that. “Scoot over, I’ll go get the coffee,” Dan says, patting Phil’s thigh.

Before he gets the chance to get up, a barista is appearing at their table with two cups of coffee, a small smile on their face. “You forgot your coffee,” they say pleasantly.

Phil looks embarrassed, but nods. “Thank you so much.” He pushes Dan’s cup to him as he gestures at his own head vaguely, saying, “one brain cell, and all that.”

The barista laughs and nods. “Same. Have a lovely day, guys.”

Dan waits until they walk back to the counter and out of earshot before he looks over at Martyn, nodding his head in Phil’s direction. “I can’t believe he told them he had one whole brain cell.” His voice is dripping with false disappointment, and he ignores the noise of protest from Phil.

Martyn grins though, clearly finding this banter delightful. “Right? He’s obviously only got half of one.”

“Hey!” Phil whines. “You can’t team up against me. It’s not fair.”

Dan reaches over and squeezes his knee, letting his hand linger for much longer than is actually necessary. “Don’t worry, bub. I have the other half.”

Phil looks surprised for a second, and Dan revels in the way that look melts into one of delighted affection. Turning to his brother, Phil sticks his tongue out childishly.

Martyn rolls his eyes, reaching over and snatching a croissant, dipping it in his coffee in a decidedly Lester fashion. “You’re a child,” he tells Phil mockingly.

Of course, Phil, ever the younger brother, retorts with a truly impressive: “I know you are but what am I?”

~~~

It’s nearly an hour later when Martyn makes his exit. He apologizes but says he’s got to get back home to his girlfriend, who has some kind of stomach flu. Phil mocks him for leaving her alone all morning, but Martyn has this oddly unbothered look, waving it off and saying, “she’s fine. Corny is a tough bird. She doesn’t need or want me to coddle her.” Phil says he can’t really argue with him there, and they laugh about it, making it clear that there’s something to this Cornelia person that Dan doesn’t quite get, having never met her.

They all clear off their trash and dishes from the table before Phil and Dan follow Martyn to the door. They pause as they stand outside, Martyn and Phil making plans to hang out again sometime the next week. Dan feels sort of awkward stood there, as they haven’t included him in this bit of the conversation, so he pulls his phone out, messing about on Twitter until he hears his name. He tunes back in, glancing up to find Martyn looking at him with a smile.

“Sorry, what?” he asks, feeling his face flush with embarrassment. God, way to look stupid in front of a stranger.

“I just asked if you’d be coming with Phil, when we go out next weekend,” Martyn says, with the air of someone who is not used to accepting no for an answer.

“Oh, er...” Dan looks to Phil helplessly, but Phil just shrugs. He’s smiling encouragingly, like he wants Dan to say yes, so Dan gives Martyn an awkward, uncertain nod. “Uh, sure. Where are you guys going?”

“We’re going with Martyn and Cornelia to have dinner and maybe clubbing a little bit,” Phil replies, giving Dan an apologetic look. He knows how Dan feels about clubbing, and something about that fills Dan with such an ooey-gooey warmth that he finds himself agreeing to it easily, despite how much he despises the club scene.

“Sure, I’m in. Sounds fun,” Dan says with a smile.

Martyn looks pleased, and Dan is surprised when he holds his arms out for a hug. “Cool. Listen, it was nice meeting you, mate. Be good to my little brother, okay?”

“O-kay,” Dan says, stuttering through the word just a bit. He can’t hide his surprise, though, and it only melts into confusion when Martyn pulls away with a wink.

“Bye, Phil,” Martyn says, hugging Phil next. He mumbles something in his ear that Dan doesn’t catch, but Phil’s ears go pink, and Dan decides that he’ll be pestering Phil about it immediately after Martyn leaves.

“Goodbye, Martyn,” Phil says, a little bit strained. He waves his brother off, reaching out and catching Dan’s wrist with the one not waving. Dan thinks he probably means to hold his hand but just doesn’t have the coordination to do both at once.

Dan watches Martyn walk away, then turns to look at Phil. “Your flat is also that way,” he points out, unnecessarily, probably, considering Phil looks like he’d rather choke than have to walk with his brother. Dan’s dying to ask what Martyn could’ve possibly said that would make Phil react like this, but he’s going to give it a moment.

“I know,” Phil says, petulant. He’s a lip twitch away from a full-on pout.

“So... shouldn’t we also be going that way?” Dan teases.

Phil suddenly shakes his head, turning and tugging Dan in the opposite direction. “Nope. We’re going to the park.”

“Are we?” Dan laughs, letting himself be towed along.

“Yep,” Phil says, popping the ‘p’ as he says it. “Gonna buy some bread and feed some ducks.”

Dan shakes his head, adjusting the grip their hands are locked in so that their fingers are properly laced together. He tugs a little on Phil’s arm, slowing Phil down from where he’s walking a pace and a half quicker than Dan. “Bread is bad for ducks,” Dan remarks mindlessly.

“Hm,” Phil hums. He sounds distracted. “Fine, we’ll just look at the ducks.”

Dan shrugs. “Okay.” He waits for a beat. When it’s clear that Phil isn’t going to look at him or speak, Dan cracks. “So what did Martyn say?”

Phil’s face immediately flushes, an incredibly big tell for him. Dan bites back a laugh, squeezing Phil’s fingers reassuringly. “Nothing,” he says quickly. Another tell, and clearly he doesn’t know Dan very well if he thinks that Dan is just going to let it go.

“Come on,” Dan whines, tugging on Phil’s hand. “Tell me! I won’t leave you alone until you tell me.”

Phil rolls his eyes, tugging his hand out of Dan’s grip. Dan feels mildly offended for a moment, but he recovers quickly when he feels Phil’s arm wrap around his shoulders instead. “You’re not wearing anything under this, are you?” Phil asks as he tugs at a hoodie string, ignoring Dan’s pestering entirely.

“No, I’m not,” Dan says quickly, batting Phil’s hand away. “Quit trying to change the subject, I wanna know what he said.”

“It’s really cold out, Dan, you should’ve worn a t-shirt or something underneath this,” Phil continues, a little frown tugging at his lips.

Dan huffs. “I think you’re stalling,” he says.

Phil shrugs, looking away. His ears are still pink, and not the kind you only get from the cold. “I’m not,” he mumbles half-heartedly.

“Was it about me?” Dan asks, excited. He already knows it was, but the way Phil blushes confirms it for him. “It was! What was it?”

Phil sighs deeply. “If I tell you will you drop it?”

Dan nods, holding out his pinky for a sacred pinky-promise. Phil rolls his eyes, but locks their pinkies together anyway. “So?” Dan asks, giddy.

Phil’s quiet for a moment, pulling his arm away from Dan to shove his hands in his coat pockets. Dan feels the loss of his warmth immediately, and leans into his space to get a little of it back. “He told me that he was happy to see me happy,” Phil says quietly.

Dan’s heart squeezes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Phil says with a nod. “And...” he glanced over at Dan, looking away quickly with another flush to his cheeks. “He told me not to screw it up this time.”

At first, Dan is surprised that Martyn would tell him not to screw this up, considering he clearly doesn’t understand the arrangement they have, but then his brain processes the implications of that. Martyn had told Dan that Phil had gone through a terrible breakup, that they thought he’d never get over it... but what he said to Phil makes it sound like he was the one at fault. And despite the fact that they aren’t actually dating, that Dan doesn’t actually really know how Phil is in a romantic relationship, Dan just knows that this cannot be true.

“You couldn’t,” Dan says, leaving very little room for argument.

Phil gives him a strange look. “What?”

Dan clears his throat. “You couldn’t screw this up. You know that, right?”

Phil looks at him like he doesn’t quite agree, but shrugs. “I thought that last time, too,” he mumbles.

Dan’s heart jumps. Phil’s never told him about his previous relationships, and this feels like that might be where this conversation is headed. Dan doesn’t know if he can stand that. It was bad enough to hear Martyn tell it, Dan thinks he might actually be sick if he has to hear Phil tell it as well.

“Phil,” Dan murmurs, reaching out and touching his arm.

“It’s fine,” Phil says with a shrug. “This time will be different.” He turns to look at Dan, a little smile tugging at his lips. “Because you’re different.”

Dan has to pretend that doesn’t make his insides set alight, but oh god, it does. “Right,” Dan murmurs. He doesn’t even know what Phil meant by it, really. Is this different because they aren’t actually dating? Is it different because Dan isn’t like Phil’s mysterious ex? Dan is desperate to know, but he’s afraid to ask.

He didn’t realize how far they’d walked, but his spiral of ruinous thoughts is cut off by Phil tugging at his arm and pointing. “Look! Ducks!”

Dan still has questions, he still wants to know if there’s something else going on between them, but for now he decides to ignore it. There will inevitably come a day where he can’t ignore it, but he decides that today is not that day, and instead allows Phil to drag him over to where the family of ducks is quacking about near the pond.

~

#phanfiction #phanfic #photographer!phil #student!dan #model!dan (sort of) #strangers to friends to lovers #friends to lovers #best friends #miscommunication #angst #fluff #smut #break up #getting back together #photography fic #take a picture (it'll last longer) #tapill #part 2

[fonulyn]

Fic Writer Wrapped-2021 Edition

got tagged by @phoenixkaizen 💖

How many stories did you complete?

75 on ao3, but there’s also a bunch of tumblr ficlets from the first half of the year that haven’t made it to ao3 yet so. idk? 90-ish?

What is your total word count for the year?

~350k. of posted fic. 

What fandoms did you write in this year?

Resident Evil and The Old Guard, but ToG was only in the first half of the year, the recent months have been only RE tbh.

Did you write more, less, or roughly about what you expected?

ehhh well I am always positively surprised I get stuff done so more, I’d say. I did write 300k+ last year too so this isn’t a huge shock but I still remember 2014-2018 when I wrote like literally nothing so writing anything at all always feels like an accomplishment.

What’s your favorite story of the year?

ughhhh i don’t knooooowwww. i am one of those (apparently rare??) people who actually like their own fics :’D bc like, i write what i'd want to read. so even if it sounds super selfish, i have a lot of favorites. but hm. so I confide in you (for nothing compares to you) or the guess who’s back, Krauser’s back -series, probably.

What is your most underappreciated story of the year?

the super self-indulgent snowy nivannedy vacay? :’D lmao it’s the one that got by far the least ...anything so let’s go with that.

Biggest fanfic-related disappointment of 2021?

that nivannedy still isn’t the fandom’s biggest ship, smh. such wasted potential. :’D lmao but nah i ...don’t know. the fact that my to-write-list just keeps on growing and i can’t write fast enough to cross things off it at the same rate i keep adding new stuff? but that’s just how it is i’ve made my peace with it lol.

Biggest fanfic-related surprise of 2021?

that i got my whole grand fic challenge finished. i am great at starting stuff like that, less great at finishing. so it felt like a huge accomplishment! still does. and i wanna do something similar again but idk exactly what. suggestions welcome :’D although I should just stick to my to-fic-list gdi and not stray away from it again.

Something you look forward to working on in 2022?

the nivannedy re4 au! it is my immediate priority. i’m also super pumped to finally finish the nivannedy childhood friends re2 au lol i wrote it already once but realized it didn’t make sense and had to start over. i’m also very excited for the one tumblr request i got asking for them to have a baby so although i haven’t figured out the specifics of that yet i am looking forward to it. Tir also put an idea in my brain about the ot3 having to take in a kid that’s somehow infected (like Sherry) and can’t be placed in any ‘normal’ family, so it’s either that or the kid being put in a lab and ofc the ot3 can’t have that so they’ll take the kid lol.

i’ve also wanted to do a soulmate au for the longest time so maybe in 2022 i’ll finally have the chance to do that. and I have this lifeguard au i’ve wanted to do since june (with nivannedy and chris/oc) and i really would want to get started on that at some point too. 

but like. i have 26 things on my to-fic-list at the moment :’D 27 if you count that one vague addition in the end. so. i have so so so many plans. let’s see if i’ll get even a fraction of those done ansdfgjkjkn

i also would love to actually finish posting all the tumblr ficlets on ao3 sometime this year. would be amazing to have all the fic in one place.

i am rambly, i apologize.

i am also not gonna tag anyone :’D or i will tag everyone! if you wanna do this, do it!! and say i tagged you. i mean it!

#me and my fics #meme thingy

[ravens-words]

feels like there's oceans (between you and me), Part 3

4x13 Coda, in parts

Part 1

Part 2

AN: This is absolutely not a death fic. It will absolutely have a happy ending. Just- a lot of pain before we get to it. I'll post in parts on tumblr and when it's finished, I'll post the whole thing on AO3 . Hope you enjoy!!

After about an hour of waiting, Buck's phone rang. He was tempted to ignore it, but ultimately decided he shouldn’t.

 His eyes widened in horror when he saw it was Carla. "Oh, God."

"Buck?" Hen asked, a concerned frown on her face. "What's wrong?"

"It's Carla," he told her, and watched the realization hit her like it hit him. "Christopher."

"Buck, you have to answer," Hen told him.

"How do I tell them? How do I tell Christopher that his dad- I can't, Hen."

She took his hand and squeezed it. "Yes, you can," she told him firmly. "It has to come from you, Buck. It has to."

He nodded, and let out a shuddering breath. "Okay. Okay, I'm gonna head over there right now, tell him in person."

Hen smiled gently. "That's a good idea."

When he stood up, she pulled him into a hug. "It'll get better, Buck. You'll see."

"I hope you're right," he muttered, "I really hope you're right, Hen."

.

Ana was the one to open the door when Buck knocked. "Buck?" She asked uncertainly, trying to look over his shoulder, probably to see if Eddie's behind him.

He swallowed thickly.

"Is Carla still here?"

Ana nodded, but she was still frowning. "Yeah, she's here. What's going on? Where's Eddie?"

"Christopher?"

"He's in his room. Will you please tell me what's going on?"

Carla chose that moment to come out of Christopher's room. "Buck?!" She asked with a smile, walking towards him and folding him into a warm hug. "I've missed you."

"Missed you, too," he managed to get out.

Carla pulled away with a frown. "You okay, boo?"

"No," he answered honestly. "I need to tell you both something."

Two sets of worried brown eyes were fixed on him now, and his heart pounded against his chest, and he wanted to be anywhere but here. "I think you should sit down for this."

.

Ana cried, Carla seemed to be too in shock to do much more than stare at Buck in disbelief. Buck tried his best to comfort them both, but all he could think about was Christopher.

"Hey, I'm gonna go talk to Chris, okay?" He told the women.

She wiped her tears and sniffed. "I'll tell him."

He wanted to protest, wanted to be the one to talk to Christopher, but he wasn't sure it was his place to contradict her. Ana was Eddie's girlfriend for a few months now, and she'd been good with Chris, according to Eddie. So, even though, it killed him, he nodded.

Carla, on the other hand, apparently didn't agree with him. "Maybe you should let Buck handle this, Ana?" She suggested, putting a hand on the woman's arm to halt her movement.

Ana frowned. "And why is that?"

"You're still in shock, you haven't processed yet. Buck has had time with it, and he'll be able to answer Christopher’s questions. Let him talk to Christopher," Carla explained gently.

Ana sniffled again, then looked back at him. There was something unreadable in her expression, but Buck didn't dwell on it. He nodded at them both, then went to Christopher's room.

He knocked.

"Come in," he heard from inside.

Buck took a deep breath and, his heart in his throat, opened the door.

#buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #hen wilson #carla price #ana flores

[chuckbass-love]

Fic where Chris accidentally gets a girl pregnant( could be a random girl he’s sleeping with or maybe a friend, up to you) he’s super freaked out and tells his mom and family for advice on what to do. But they reprimand him first

Hi lovely anon...

So i received two requests about pregnancy with Chris. One of which is this one and the second is Chris as a teen getting a girl pregnant so i’ll do both as separate fics. This one as adult Chris and the other as it was requested. 

I’m sorry to the anon who requested this since i’ve taken a long time to write it. But i hope the wait has been worth it after you read.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than my Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Warning: Smut! Sex, vaginal fingering, oral (f receiving), pregnancy reveal, swearing and fluff.18+

Word Count: 5,061

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @jckcriley go check them out❤️

Unexpected

“W-what?” you can’t help but almost choke on your beer as the unexpected words leave your friend of 6 years mouth.

“You heard me” he smirks, sipping on his own beer and leaning back on the couch. His eyes remain locked on yours.

“Chris, maybe you’ve had a bit too much to drink” you giggle, reaching over to take his drink but he pulls it out of the way so you can’t “I’m practically sober, Y/N. You mean to tell me you’ve never thought of me that way?” he raises a brow at you, the one look that always has you secretly wanting to jump his bones.

Sure he’s your friend and has been for 6 years but that doesn’t mean you’ve never had sexual thoughts and fantasies about him. Thoughts and fantasies that have been intruding your rational side for as long as you can remember. But you got used to the friend zone and you have no one else to blame but yourself for remaining there. 

Whenever Chris has been single, you’ve been tempted to swoop in and admit your feelings but quickly aborted that mission, refusing to put yourself in a position to be rejected. 

And now, he’s sat in front of you at your house admitting that he’s always had a crush on you. You’re shocked and it shows. 

Your silence to his question and your failure to keep eye contact gives you away. Why does he have to make you so nervous?

“You have, haven’t you?” he closes the gap between the two of you, taking your beer from you and placing both his and yours on the coffee table before turning your head so that his lustful eyes meet your shy ones.

He doesn’t miss the way your breathing hitches at the feel of his lips grazing across yours without kissing you and he certainly doesn’t miss the way you shiver at the feel of his thick digits dancing down your right arm slowly.

“Chris” you whine, in hopes that he’d just give in and kiss you already. After all, it’s been a long time coming. But instead he lowers his head to your shoulder, pressing a chaste kiss to the exposed skin before moving to your ear. His breath fans your earlobe and his beard tickles your skin “what is it baby?” his whispering has you gasping, more so at the intimate nickname than anything else.

“We shouldn’t do this, it’ll ruin our-”

“What? Our friendship? Well i’m down for that if you are” he licks your earlobe, biting it a little too.

Again, your breath hitches and your heart skips more than just a beat as his lips are now inches from your own and the beer fills yours nose.

Before you even have a chance to stop it, his soft lips meet yours. Moving in sync, almost as if they were made to kiss.  His beard yet again tickles your skin, no doubt it’s gonna leave a burn all over after he’s finished with you.

It takes a couple of seconds for you to realise what’s going on but when you do, you let go and it’s incredible. Your arms wrap around his neck loosely and he pulls you onto his lap so that you’re straddling him.

A quick break for a breath of fresh air is taken before going back to it, the two of you going at it more like life long lovers than old friends. You can’t help but wonder if you’re the only friend of his he’s had these kinds of feelings towards. Or if you’re the only one full stop.

“Wait” you push him away slowly, looking right into his eyes “am i the only one?” your question has his brows furrowing in confusion.

“What?” his chuckle leads you to smile “am i the only friend you find attractive? The only friend you’ve thought about in this way?”

“Yes”

And you believe him.

“I never thought i could pursue anything because of the way we are together. The nicknames, the way you act like one of the guys. I just didn’t think it was ever a possibility”

He’s saying all of the right things and right here, right now. You don’t wanna second guess him, so you pull him back to you, kissing him like your life depends on it.

And he just reciprocates the same energy but with a twist. His hands find their way to your ass cheeks underneath your tennis skirt. He gives your soft globes a little squeeze, earning an excited squeal from you which only turns him on more. 

“God this skirt. It drives me crazy every time you wear it” he groans as his kisses turn to open mouthed ones along your jawline and down your neck to your sweet spot.

You gotta admit, you could say the same thing to him about his body. Whenever his shirts are open a little to reveal his chest and his tattoos or whenever his biceps bulge out of the shirt sleeves. You feel your legs turn to jelly and it’s hard to play it cool.

“I need you” you blurt out, causing him to take action. He spins you around quicker than you can even keep up with. Your legs are spread apart and now the only thing stopping him from ruining your tight cunt is the thin piece of cotton covering it. Not for long though.

“Oh yeah, how do you need me baby?” his hands graze your inner thighs and more arousal soaks your panties “I need you to touch me” you beg and your head falls back, resting on his shoulder. You look up at him before closing your eyes as you feel the pads of his fingers press down on your bundle of nerves.

“What, like this?” his mouth begins to suck on your neck, no doubt leaving marks for everyone to see tomorrow. 

All you can muster is a lazily mumbled “mhmm yes” and that’s all he needs to reach his hands inside. The way his fingers run through your folds before circling your dripping hole is like a feeling you’ve never experienced. Probably because the one and only time you’ve ever been intimate with someone was the quick rubbing of your clit and missionary. Hardly adventurous.

Chris however, has experience. And there’s obviously a reason Minka and Jenny went back for more, right?

Or at least you assume so. Plus many drunken conversations with Jenny gave away some details that at the time had you jealous as fuck. But now, you’re aching with the anticipation of what’s to come tonight.

For example. One party that Chris hosted. You and Jenny were bonding over tequila. 

Tara left the group just as she got into it and you can’t say you blamed her at the time. Tara and Chris are best friends and it would be weird for her to take an interest in his sex life shenanigans.

But since you and Chris have only ever been friends, not best friends, you stuck around. If you hadn’t then god knows who Jenny would have told.

She was practically drooling over the sight of him across the room, starting the conversation with a simple “how sexy is he?” almost like she expected you to agree, which you didn’t. Despite agreeing in your head of course.

“Oh you should have seen him last night Y/N, that mouth of his. Jesus. He was like an animal. I’ve never cum so many times from oral”

The memory in itself has you moaning and bucking your hips up into his hand, yearning for more.

His hand pulls from your panties and his fingers hook into the sides of them. He lifts your legs with one hand as his other slides them down and off, discarding them halfway across the room. Not that you care where they land.

The way his arms wrap around both of your thighs, parting your legs whilst they reach down to rub firm circles on your aching and needy pussy, is almost like he’s wanted this as long as you have. Which of course is most likely true since he’s already admitted to crushing on you secretly.

“Please, Chris, i need it” your impatient self can’t control the hunger, but he has other plans.

“All in good time, let me take care of you Y/N”

His thick digits circle your hole once again before two of them slip inside without even a single warning. You’re not used to the feeling but after a couple of pumps in and out, he starts curling them against that familiar spongy spot which makes you forget the stretch you experienced just seconds ago. 

Now everything that Jenny said makes sense.

“Fuck, yes. Don’t stop” your hand grips his wrist as you start to grind your hips in circles, wanting to feel the palm of his hand against you throbbing clit. And with your impending first orgasm of many to come, you can’t help but arch your back.

“Gonna cum already, huh? Come on baby, cum for me” he eggs, a third finger adding to the equation. Just what you needed to fall off the cliff in his arms. Your legs shake and your breathing quickens “just like that baby, cum all over these fingers” and you do. 

Your arousal drips down his fingers, making the mess he urged you to. 

Once he rides you through your high, he pulls out, lifting them to his mouth and the second they come into contact with each other, he’s slurping and sucking them clean.

The sight itself is probably enough to make you cum all over again but before you can, he’s manoeuvring you so that he’s carrying you into your bedroom and laying you down.

More clothes are tossed onto the floor until the two of you are in nothing but your birthday suits and you gotta say, his size is more than impressive.

“Such a beautiful body, might have to keep you like this all the time” he smirks, hovering above you, his huge biceps either side of your head. He lowers his head down so he can capture your lips in a quick but passionate kiss and you can tell this isn’t just a quick hook up to him. Or at least, that’s the way it seems.

You hope.

His lips linger for a couple of seconds before they lower to the valley between your breasts and he inhales your scent instantly, breathing you in like the smoke from a cigarette.

“Smell so good baby. Always smell so good” his fingers tweak at your nipples as the kisses continue, moving lower and lower until he’s face to face with your cunt.

It’s only natural for you to expect some kind of teasing from him but he takes you by surprise by devouring you like a 3 course meal with no feather like touches or dirty talk to get you to beg for his filthy mouth.

“And you taste good too, always knew you would”

The words have you covering your face and the feel of his head shaking on you has you closing your legs on it. The scratching of his beard on your thighs is both awful and incredible all at once. You just simply can’t get enough, running your fingers through his messed up locks and grinding your pussy on his tongue as he sticks it out for you to use as much as you like.

“Gonna make this sweet pussy cum once more before i fuck it, that okay, baby?”

No words are needed, he knows you want it. So he dives back in, spreading your pussy folds and blowing air on your clit before his lips wrap around it for him to suck.

"Cum on my tongue baby, i know you can, give it to me, let me get another taste” he coos and you find your body shaking. 

Seconds later, after his words of encouragement and his tongue fucking you. You release for the second time tonight, all over his skilful tongue. You prop yourself up onto your elbows to watch as he makes sure no drop is wasted before he kisses his way back up to you.

As soon as his tongue slips into your mouth, battling with yours, you can taste your sweet arousal and it drives you crazy.

You wrap your legs around his waist and he buries his face in the crook of your neck as he lines himself up “you sure you wanna do this?” he asks, pulling away to look at you, unsure on whether you truly want this but why wouldn’t you want this?

“Chris, i’m sure” you convince, cupping his face with both hands and all of a sudden your pussy is stretching to accommodate his size as he slides home with no pauses to get you used to it. You knew the moment that you saw his cock that it would hurt a little. But the pain soon subsides and is replaced with pleasure.

His thrusting pace picks up immediately and your legs tighten around him as your urge to have him deeper consumes you

“Shit” he grunts, hissing at the feel of your warm walls fluttering around him perfectly, he can’t say this is anything like his many fantasies because the honest truth is it isn’t. It’s better, way better.

Having you underneath him, panting and moaning like he’s always dreamed makes him think heaven is right here with you. A place on earth.

“Taking this cock so well baby, feel good huh?” his voice raspy and gentle at the same time even though the way he’s ploughing into you is far from it. 

“Yes. God yes. Chris i’m gonna cum” you mewl frantically, feeling your walls clamp down on him hard as if he’ll leave if you don’t. And if you’re being completely honest with yourself, you don’t want to ever be without him now, you want this for life. You’ve come so far, you’re knee deep in feelings for this man and you hope he’s on the same page.

“Fuck. Cum with me baby, i’m right there with you” his grunting and growling turn to moans that could resemble that of a porn star. So hot and like music to your ears.

The room is filled with the sound of his skin slapping against yours and the sounds of pleasure from the two of you merging into one with little sweat droplets adorning both your foreheads.

“Oh fuck, squeeze me again baby”

“Just” thrust “like” thrust “that” 

“Chris, don’t stop” you plead as your toes begin to curl, his head drops so his lips can meet yours the second he spots signs of the coil snapping within you.

And when it does, he’s sucking all of the air from your lungs and muffling your moans.

The way your walls spasm around him spurs his own release on, he twitches a couple times before finally releasing inside of you and painting your walls.

Shockwaves rush through you and you still can’t believe you just had sex with your friend. 

Maybe it’ll hit you in the morning and you fear the unknown reaction from the man himself. What if he regrets it? What if you do? Whatever happens, you can’t change the results, all you can do is bask in the glory of this moment finally coming to life after a million times where you’ve over thought how this would go down.

He eventually pulls out, falling down to the spot on the bed beside of you, panting too.

“Well that’s certainly not what i expected to happen tonight” you giggle.

Chris has to say, he feels relieved. All those sneaky glances your way and all those nights out where he was dying to kiss you have finally stopped. Because now he doesn’t have to hide it away, you know and you feel the same. 

Having you in his arms now as he pulls you to rest your head on his chest after mind blowing and romantic sex. All of your desires have come true.

“Me neither. What does this mean for us now though?” the question you were saving for tomorrow but you’re thanking the lord that he’s asked first.

“I was going to ask the same thing. But i don’t know, i guess if you want to then we could maybe go on a date, see where things go?” he lifts your head up with his finger under your chin and the second your eyes meet, he kisses you hard.

“I’d love to take you out”

“So, that’s a yes?” 

He can’t help but laugh nervously “it’s the easiest yes i’ve ever had to give, i can’t wait. But maybe now we should sleep?" before he even finishes talking you’re yawning and closing your eyes. 

And with a quick peck on your forehead, you both get under the covers and drift off.

---------------------

*4 weeks later*

A month after your hookup with Chris and you’ve already had your first date.

He invited you to his place where he had a 3 course meal waiting, that he cooked himself.

Quite impressive and it was actually edible which made you suspect that he had Lisa’s help.

Though he would never admit that to you because he wanted to impress and of course he did.

You’ve not seen him all week, only spoke to him over text or FaceTime since he’s been super busy with work. Meetings galore for upcoming projects. You respect that with his career though, this dating business is going to be a lot like your friendship has been. There’s nothing you can do about it but to tell the truth, you’re kinda glad he’s not been around.

It all started last week when you were puking constantly, your boobs were unbelievably sore and the nausea has been out of this world. 

The puking has been mostly in the mornings but this morning was the worst. All of these things had you racking your brain, there had to be a reason behind it and when you calculated the days for your period, you realised you were a week late.

So you drove down to the store, picking up some water and snacks as well as a pregnancy test.

The second you returned home, you rushed to the bathroom to take it and let’s just say waiting for the results to show were the longest few minutes of your life. Your legs were shaking as were your hands. When the timer stopped, you took a deep breath before glancing down to meet your fate.

It reads ‘pregnant’ on the clear blue stick.

How the fuck is Chris gonna take this?

The thought alone makes you want to puke so you quickly drop to your knees, spewing your lunch into the toilet.

This is your life well and truly ruined,

-------------------

Chris knocks on your door, waiting patiently for you to answer and let him in. As soon as he sees your exhausted face, his smile fades.

“What’s wrong?” worry fills his voice and it hurts even more.

Yeah sure, he’s 39 and you’re 30. But does he really want a kid this soon with you. You know he wants to be a dad and he has done for a long time. But even so, it’s way too soon. It’ll be like taking 5 giant leaps when you’ve only just admitted to liking one another a couple weeks back.

“Come sit down” your voice monotone and serious, scaring him further.

“Baby?” he asks but you ignore, taking more deep breaths.

“Look, i don’t really know how to go about this and i’m terrified” you gulp, looking away from him and fidgeting in your seat “so for the last week or so i’ve been experiencing some things. Sickness, nausea and my boobs have been hurting and feeling very sore. You know all that already. But this morning was the worst. I puked so much that i almost fainted when i went to stand” 

You can practically see his hands shaking too, still refusing to look him in the eye which is driving him insane.

“Y/N please, what is it?” his patience wearing thin.

Here goes nothing.

“I’m pregnant” 

Now you look at him, his eyes wide, his mouth open slightly.

“What?”

Not a question that needs an answer as you’re pretty sure he’s just shocked.

“I-I don’t know w-what to say”

“I don’t expect you to say anything, Chris. I won’t blame you if you want to walk away now”

Hearing you say that riles him, he forces you to look at him “listen here, i’m not gonna walk away. No chance. Two of us made this baby and two of us are gonna take care of it”

Even with the confidence he’s showing, you know him well enough to see the act. He’s terrified too. But it’s probably best to not bring it up now. 

Tears fall down your face as he pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms around you. He can sense that you were worried about being deserted.

But that’s never going to happen. 

“We’ll get through this together okay?”

“Okay”

--------------------------

Days pass and Chris is getting even more scared. The news still hasn’t full sunk in yet. You’re carrying his child and yet he feels like he’s too immature to do this and in this head space, there’s only so many people that he can turn to.

He thought it would be best to share the news with his family alone first since he’s never been in this position before. He’s watched his sister go through it and obviously his mother went through it 4 times with him and his siblings.

This is something he’s wanted for a long time. He doesn’t want to mess it up. So it’s time to get help.

“Ma, it’s me” he calls out, closing the front door and searching the lounge before he hears her call back “kitchen”

As soon as he enters, he finds his sister Carly helping his mom with lunch.

“How’re you” Carly asks, hugging him but his heavy breathing alerts her.

“Chris?”

“I need advice, i’m freaking out” and now his flustered state is abundantly clear.

“Why what’s happened?”

The pair stop in their tracks, focusing all of their attention onto him and gesturing for him to speak.

“So you know me and Y/N decided to give dating a go” they nod “about time too” Lisa jokes.

“Well, turns out. She’s pregnant” he grits his teeth, watching as they freak out too. With Lisa’s mouth hanging open and Carly’s eyes widening.

“Say something please”

“Chris, how could you let this happen so soon?” 

Not the response he was hoping for. 

“I-i”

“Did you even use protection?” Lisa’s eyebrows raise before she bows her head once he shakes his.

“Christopher, you’ve only just started dating this girl and she’s already pregnant. I don’t believe this”

“Chris this isn’t easy you know, pregnancy, parenting. It’s hard and are you sure you two are ready to take such a big step so soon?” Carly adds, calming her voice more than what their mom did.

He doesn’t even have an answer for them.

Because he’s most likely not ready, neither are you but is anyone ever ready to be a parent? Probably not. 

“It’s sleepless nights, long days of tantrums and melt downs. Loud screaming, refusing to eat and a horrendous amount of dirty and smelly nappies. Can you handle all of that? Can she?”

“Look I’m terrified enough as it is and I know it’s not gonna be easy. That’s why I came here in hopes that you would ease my mind about this” he sighs, sitting down at the breakfast bar and scratching the back of his head with Carly taking a seat on the stool beside him.

“How does Y/N feel about it?”

“Scared too, assumed i was just going to leave but i reassured her it would be okay and that i’d never leave”

A proud mother moment for Lisa, she knows in this moment that she’s done a good job with raising him and all of her kids. 

Her life is a constant never ending string of proud mother moments with them. They never cease to amaze her.

“As long as you have us, you’ll be okay but please let this be a lesson to you. Not using protection is so dangerous. Especially when it’s just casual at first, you need to be careful”

They are right. It was reckless too. Drunken nights in with friends that he fancies aren’t the best time for sex. 

Even he can admit that.

“Condoms always” Lisa’s index finger in his face has him laughing and nodding frantically “yes ma’am” they all laugh at his remark and eventually he feels the tense atmosphere leave.

He feels like the news has been accepted.

“God your father might actually pass out when he hears this”

“Can we tell him and everyone else over dinner, tonight maybe. I want Y/N to be here when they find out. I only told you guys because i didn’t know who else to turn to”

“You’re gonna make an amazing father Chris. You just need to believe that and you’ll be set. Am i saying parenting is easy? Certainly not but what i am saying is that i have more than enough faith in you to do this right. You got this, just please do me a huge favour and wrap it up from now on or you’ll end up like me before you know it”

He hugs his sister tight, squeezing her and letting out the biggest deep breath ever “love you. What would i do without you?”

“I honestly don’t know”

Chris says goodbye to them before heading over to your place and Lisa texts the family group chat, asking if everyone is free to join for dinner.

Once you become aware of the plan, you freak out and hours later you’re still deciding what to even dress yourself in. 

“But what am i even going to wear?”

“What if they don’t take it well?"

Chris has to eventually hold you in place to keep you still “you’re starting to resemble that one scene in the grinch baby. Just remain calm. You’ve been around my family loads of times and besides mom and Carly already know. They support us”

He’s right. He’s always right. This is why you two alway got on so effortlessly as friends. He balances your crazy and anxious self out with his calm, cool and collected self.

Plus you both have a shared love for beer, football and cussing non stop. 

“Shit, you’re right” you breathe in and out a couple times before settling on some high waisted jeans and a pink jumper. You match it with some Dr Martens before leaving to go and have that dreaded dinner.

You’ve been around his family before, you keep telling yourself this in hopes that it will calm your nerves. The car journey is short and sweet and now you find yourself walking into his parent’s house.

All eyes in view fixate on you two. Everyone knows you both have become a thing but wait until they know you’re knocked up because neither Chris nor you had the brain cells to suggest using a condom.

“Right everyone, dinner is ready” Lisa shouts and there’s a rush to the dining room with you trailing behind. Chris pulls out a chair for you to sit in before taking his own in a spot next to you.

Grace is said and small talk is made as the entire family dig in. You can see Chris getting ready to speak up and your stomach does loads of little backflips due to all the nerves.

“Everyone, me and Y/N have something we’d like to tell you”

Complete silence in the room and now you want the ground to swallow you up.

“So as you all know, we’re a couple now”

“About fucking time” Scott roars, earning laughs all around.

“Well, we’ve got some news and whilst it’s completely unexpected but we’re very excited to tell you that we’re having a baby” you stand up with him as you take in the reactions.

Some are shocked, some are cheering and smiling and others are just eating. AKA the kids.

Congratulations are tossed your way and Shanna is instantly giving you baby name suggestions whilst Scott is hugging Chris and offering to baby sit already.

“I’m so happy for you and if you ever need a sitter, uncle Scotty is where it’s at” you’ll 100% bare that in mind.

As you take your seats again to tuck into more delicious food courtesy of Lisa, Chris leans in “see, nothing to worry about. You’re family already” and with a kiss to your forehead, he continues with his roasting of Scott.

You couldn’t wish for a better family to be apart of or a better family for your child.

---------------------------

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LMK if you wanna be added to my tag list... Thank you x

#chris evans #chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x fem!reader #cevans #reader inserts #x fem!reader #x female reader #x reader #fanfiction #smut #fluff

[meridiansdominoes]

(same annon with the kittens) I would send a pic, but I don't have the Tumblr app. Fives even had a mustache!😍 Love your writing - keep it up!!

TINY CAT FIVES WITH A MUSTACHE??? A;LSKJDFAL;SDKFJ

.............

what have you done. I don’t have a cat. I’ve never had a cat. I don’t know how cats act. I don’t know cat body language. I don’t even like cats that much, I am the person least qualified to write a cat fic. But I did this anyway. It’s dumb and not even that great but you inspired me and it helped with my writer’s block at the very least asld;kfasdlfk;laskdf 

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25919743

_________________________________________________________

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Fives snarls.

“I don’t… I don’t think this is a joke, Fives,” Droidbait says nervously--meows, actually, because Droidbait is a loth-cat. Inexplicably. Impossibly. 

So is Fives. And so is Cutup.

The barracks are massive around them. Fives shakes his head in horror. It’s even worse when he can feel muscles that he shouldn’t have twitching and moving as he does. His ears… they can move in so many directions. Not to mention the kriffing tail.

“Alright, just… there’s gotta be an explanation behind this,” Fives says, sitting back uneasily onto his back legs. “Someone will be able to fix us--the Jedi could… do something, I think, I don’t know--”

“Whoa,” Cutup says, staring down at his paws and letting his claws extend and retract, extend and retract. “That’s… kind of cool, actually.” He flexes his claws against the fabric of his abandoned blacks below him experimentally. He looks up at Fives and suddenly chokes on a laugh. Fives rounds on him, tail lashing involuntarily.

“What’s so funny?”

“Your hair… fur, I guess… it looks like you have a mustache,” Cutup sniggers. Fives growls at him--this is so not the time. It isn’t the most threatening sound, but it works to some effect. Cutup’s eyes go wide. He nearly trips clumsily over his paws as he scrambles to put some distance between them. Droidbait curls in on himself, tucking his tail around his paws and flattening his ears against his skull.

“Guys, can we not fight?” he meows plaintively. “We’ve gotta figure out what happened--”

Fives’ tail twitches again. He spares Cutup another dangerous look, but Cutup is spared from Fives’ wrath by the sound of a frustrated yowl from the hallway. 

“Oh, kriff. Hevy and Echo!” Cutup gasps. He darts for the door. Fives goes to follow him and is impressed at the speed that his tiny body can achieve. As long as he doesn’t trip over his own feet… paws… whichever, he can really move when he needs to.

The barracks door doesn’t open immediately--the three of them have to leap up to trigger the motion sensor, which isn’t too hard either. They can get higher than Fives had thought possible. Maybe their transformation isn’t actually that bad--

Then he pokes his head into the hallway and recoils in horror. 

“Guys! Help! I can’t get him off of me!” Hevy cries, scratching fruitlessly at Hardcase’ greaves. Hevy is puffing himself up to make himself look bigger, but it’s not doing him any good. Hardcase, however, looks like he’s having the time of his life, cradling Hevy in his arms and cooing at him in the middle of the hall. Which, ugh. Fives can’t decide if he wants to vomit or if it’s just a hairball. 

“Back up!” Cutup hisses in alarm, but they’re not fast enough. Hardcase glances down. His eyes go very very wide.

“Holy. Kriff. There’s more of them. Jesse! Jesse, get the kriff over here!”

“Oh no, oh no oh no--scatter!” Fives yelps. Droidbait and Cutup obey even as Hardcase drops to one knee in order to swoop one giant hand towards them. Force, he’s massive. Fives barely manages to avoid the fingers that reach out. Behind Hardcase, Jesse rounds the corner of the hallway and gasps. 

“What the--”

“Catch them!” Hardcase shouts gleefully. Jesse stops dead, stares, and then dives straight for Fives. Fives hisses at him and makes a desperate leap for freedom, because he is not going to be coddled like that today, no, not now, not ever, it’s humiliating and he won’t--!

__________________________________________________________

“Fives.”

“Mmm.”

“Fives. You’re purring.”

“Kriff off,” Fives mumbles. The words rumble around in his chest. Vaguely he realizes that he is indeed purring, but he can’t really make himself care. Tup is warm and when his fingers scritch just right over Fives’ skull it sends the most pleasant little tingles down his spine and so what if he’s purring it doesn’t mean anything, shut up, Cutup.

Hevy had been rescued from Hardcase by Del and has been shunted around since then, passed from Coric to Dogma to Jesse. Cutup is perched happily on Tipper’s knee. Droidbait is free, but he’s winding his way around Kix’s ankles to ask for more scratches instead of escaping, the traitor. 

Though… to be fair, Fives could probably escape if he tried. It’s not like Tup is keeping him in place, but… but, uh, it’s a long drop to the floor. Yeah. Who knows if Fives would survive a fall. Not worth the risk, no, absolutely not. That explains it. Fives is stuck, no doubt about it.

Tup’s fingers run down Fives’ spine. He arches into the touch and purrs again. Tup grins down at him fondly.

“So… what should we name them?” Jesse wonders aloud. Fives groans. 

“It’s us, you idiots. I’m Fives. Hear me?” he huffs out. For a moment there’s silence, and Fives dares to hope that he’s been understood--

“Sithspit. That is the cutest sound I’ve ever heard,” Nax deadpans. Fives has to resist the urge to snap at Tup’s fingers in annoyance. Tup doesn’t deserve that, so he restrains himself, but it’s a close thing.

“We’re keeping them, right?” Hardcase says. “Come on, we have to!” 

Cutup rolls his eyes. Hevy lets out a muffled sound of protest. Fives sighs. Droidbait stifles a laugh, tail waving happily in the air as Kix’s fingers run through his fur. 

The door to the barracks suddenly slides open to admit Captain Rex. The men go to jump to attention, but they freeze when they fully register the sight of their CO. Echo is sitting proudly on the Captain’s pauldron, ears pricked up as high as they’ll go. His tail is looped loosely around his paws, and he looks smug. Beta squad’s mouths collectively drop open. 

“There’s another one?” Hardcase whispers. Echo sends him an unimpressed look as Rex holds out his hand in order to lower Echo gently to the floor. Droidbait immediately abandons Kix to rush for Echo, nosing him anxiously to make sure he’s alright. Echo bats at him half-heartedly.

“Your nose is cold, DB, holy kriff. Okay, alright, I’m fine!”

“I know, I know, I’m just making sure!” Droidbait tells him, curling himself up against Echo’s flank gratefully. Echo leans against him obligingly and turns to look back up at Rex. The Captain suddenly heaves the longest sigh Fives has ever heard from him, which… really isn’t a good sign. Beta squad tenses in concern. 

“Sir…?” Del prompts quietly. Rex clenches his jaw. 

“I’m comming the General,” he grits out. “We aren’t equipped to handle this.”

“Wh--what are you talking about, sir?” Tipper says in offense. “They’re just a couple of loth-cats, sir… I mean, they’re kittens. I think we can handle it--”

“Fives, Cutup, Hevy. Can you three come down here for a second?” Rex deadpans, sounding like he’d much rather be fighting a platoon of battle droids than dealing with magical transformations right now. Fives huffs and shuffles to his feet, reluctantly removing himself from Tup’s gentle hold. It’s a lot harder to manage a jump with four legs, but somehow his tail acts as an odd counterbalance and allows him to drop to the floor smoothly. 

Huh. Well, turns out the floor wasn’t actually that far down. Oh well. He sits down next to his batchmates in front of Captain Rex and stares back at the rest of Beta squad, tail lashing, challenging them to just try and pick him up again. Fives has claws and he’ll use them.

...unless it’s Tup. Tup is the only exception. 

“Wait. Captain, you’re not seriously telling me that--” Kix starts. Rex interrupts him with a raise of his hand. 

“Del, you asked me if I had any idea where the rest of your squad had disappeared to a few minutes ago. Here they are,” the Captain says tiredly. Fives glances at Echo as the rest of the room goes dead silent.

“Oh, thank the Force. You got him to figure it out?”

“Yeah. Typed it out on his datapad. I was near the bridge when it happened, so it wasn’t too hard to get to his office.” Echo licks his own paw. Cutup makes a strangled sound. 

“Echo. You’re… you’re. Licking yourself.”

“Huh? Oh.” Echo blinks at his paw for a moment in surprise. “I didn’t even realize…”

“That’s… Domino squad? Are you serious?” Tipper says incredulously. 

“Unfortunately.” The Captain raises an eyebrow at Domino squad inquisitively. “Kenobi, or Skywalker?”

“What kind of question is that?” Echo complains. “Kenobi. Do you really have to ask?”

Fives agrees. Not that General Skywalker couldn’t figure this out, but General Kenobi will probably fix it faster. Maybe. Hopefully. 

“Right, dumb question,” Rex agrees, even though there’s no way he could have understood what Echo had said. “I’ll be on the Communications deck to let General Kenobi know. Until then, stay here. Beta squad, watch them. Understood?”

He doesn’t wait for their affirmations, turning on his heel and leaving the barracks. Fives feels a thrill of horror. 

“Wait a second, wait wait wait,” Fives says, scrambling for the door, “Rex, don’t leave us with them, this is humiliating, they’re gonna--wait--!”

It’s too late. The Captain is gone. Fives’ ears droop. He stares up at the massive door in front of him in dejection. Oh no.  

“Force, he looks so sad. Someone grab him,” one of his horrible, terrible, awful brothers mutters. Fives gets scooped up unceremoniously by a large hand. He’s half a second from sinking his teeth into the finger closest to his mouth when suddenly that same finger scratches under Fives’ chin. Fives goes limp. Mmmmm Force, it’s nice. 

“Alright, Fives. At least, I think you’re Fives. Calm down,” Hardcase says, grinning in amusement. “We’ll keep you safe, don’t worry.” Fives glares at him. Hardcase chuckles. “Yep, you’re Fives, alright. No doubt about it.”

Fives nips at his finger anyway just to hear Hardcase hiss in pain, but then Hardcase stubbornly scratches under Fives’ chin again and Fives’ eyes slide closed. He can hear his batchmates receiving similar treatment from Beta squad, some protesting more than others. He opens one eye to check on them--Hevy is snarling curses, but Tup has him, so Hevy’s temper won’t last long. Dogma’s hands reverently stroke over Echo’s ears. Droidbait is curled up in the crook of Del’s arm. Cutup is batting lazily at Jesse’s fingers, stretched out comfortably on his back.  

“Just rest, Fives,” Hardcase orders gently. Fives sighs in resignation. There’s no escape. Fine, fine. He’ll rest. But only for a minute, as long as his batchmates are safe.

Eventually, five content purrs fill the room. Fives falls asleep. 

#domino squad #fives #cutup #echo #droidbait #hevy #captain rex #fanfic #animal transformation #dominoes

[storytellerofuntoldlegends]

an icarus and his sun: chapter 11

A/N: bit of a shorter chapter this time, so i was able to get it out quicker! scott pov again :)

Warnings: injury, fever, unconsciousness, mild amnesia, corruption/infection, self-blame, self-worth issues, talk of death

AO3 Link - Tumblr Masterpost

-

Scott drifted in and out of consciousness, unsure of what was happening. He didn’t even register where he was at first, just heard faint but familiar voices. Then he was being lifted up, his head gently tucked into the crook of someone’s neck, and someone else’s delicate touch supporting his wings. Then some innumerable amount of darkness later, and he registered laying on something soft before there was a hand on his arm and a yelp. The yelp had sounded like Gem- had he made it to her empire? More murmuring voices, and Scott drifted out again.

The next time he drifted towards a more semi-conscious state, he was instantly filled with relief. He hadn’t really realized how warm he felt until something cool was placed on his forehead. If Scott had the energy to, he would have let out a grateful sigh. Then a hand gently ran through his hair, and Scott just about melted- in a good way this time, instead of the fever-warm kind. He must have made some sort of reaction, because he heard a half amused, half relieved chuckle from above him.

“I think the compress is helping,” the owner of the chuckle said- voice so devastatingly familiar but Scott’s brain was too fever-addled to remember who it belonged to. Inexplicably it made him think of slimeballs and glimmering scales, but he didn’t have the slightest idea why.

“Or playing with someone’s hair is the cure for corruption,” another voice teased. There was an indignant reply, a laugh from the second voice- but Scott sank into darkness again before he could decipher who either of the voices were.

-

Scott was shivering the next time he came to some semblance of awareness. Something soft was pulled over him, and whatever was put on his forehead before was adjusted. The hand in his hair was gone though, and he managed to make a distressed sound at that. There was a soft murmur, some comforting words that Scott couldn’t quite make out, but then there was a hand in his hair again and Scott sighed in relief. He managed to blearily blink his eyes open, and met the gaze of a pair of soft brown eyes wide with surprise and concern. The owner of the eyes had a mess of blond hair on his head, and somehow that felt wrong to Scott. The eyes he knew, but the hair… he felt like it was something he shouldn’t be seeing. But at the same time he felt he had seen it before, on a night with shimmering bronze details, dancing, and betrayal. But Scott couldn’t place why he remembered those things when looking up at the person gazing down at him.

“Easy, you’re alright. Let’s try and get some water in you, maybe a health potion too,” the devastatingly familiar man said. He shifted away from Scott, causing a distressed sound to leave his lips. The man chuckled.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. Just gonna help you sit up a bit,” he murmured, doing just so and letting Scott lean on him when he couldn’t stay upright by himself. His wings reflexively stretched out, and Scott let out a relieved sound at the ache in his wings lessening slightly. An amused giggle came from somewhere on Scott’s other side.

“Guess we should probably make sure he’s not resting on his wings too much, huh?” the owner of the giggle said in a teasing tone. That got a semi-flustered nervous chuckle from the man holding him, who had started to gently prod Scott out from where he had been tucked into the crook of his neck. Scott made a displeased sound, trying to nuzzle into the man’s hold further. Another giggle sounded.

“Gem, stop laughing at me and help, he’s being clingy,” the man pouted. Wait- Gem? Scott knew that name. Why did he know that name?

“Don’t act like you don’t like it, Jimmy,” the other voice- Gem, apparently, teased back. The name Jimmy definitely sounded familiar, it sparked butterflies in Scott’s stomach and reminded him of teasing banter and cocky smiles. The man- Jimmy- sighed and finally got Scott out from his hiding place in the space where Jimmy’s neck and shoulder met. His head was tilted back, and something cool was pressed to his lips. He eagerly drank down the water, earning him a gently reprimanding “slow down” from Jimmy. But soon the water was gone, and despite it helping him feel much better than before, Scott found himself incredibly drained of energy as he slumped back against Jimmy. He made a distressed sound as he felt darkness tugging at him again.

“It’s alright, you can rest. I’ll be right here, I promise. I won’t let you go, ever again,” Jimmy said with gentle determination. He wasn’t sure why, but Scott felt relieved at the assurance. His eyes slipped shut, and he dimly registered a hand smoothing out his feathers as he let the darkness claim him once more.

-

Scott’s next semi-coherent moment was one full of pain. It felt like there was fire spreading out from his forearm, all the way up to his shoulder and down to his fingertips. There was something pulsing and squirming beneath his skin too, in tandem with the pain in his arm. He let out a choked scream when someone touched his arm, the pain intensifying so much that Scott felt like he could barely breathe. Someone took his other hand, and there was a hand gently running through his hair. Scott relaxed ever so slightly at the familiar reassuring touches, even as tears of pain started streaming down his face.

“It’s okay, breathe Scott, you’ll be alright. Squeeze my hand if you need to, it’ll be okay. I’m here, I promised you I’d be right here, remember?” a voice said- and Scott wanted to remember. He wanted to remember this person’s reassurances, wanted to remember why this person’s voice inexplicably meant so much to him- but all Scott could do was scream as the pain intensified again.

“We have to stop, this is only hurting him,” another voice said, cool and collected with an undertone of worry. The pain stopped, and Scott sobbed in relief, his hand loosening the tight grip on the other person’s hand- when had he started clutching at him so tightly? His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath, his already blurry vision darkening at the edges.

“You’re alright, sorry about that, we thought maybe that would work. We’ll figure something out, I promise,” the first voice said, running a hand through his hair. Scott wanted to ask how this person was so confident that everything would be okay, but he passed out again before he got the chance.

-

The last time Scott woke up, he thought he was dead. This was the most coherent he had been in a while, but despite that, he somehow saw Jimmy sitting beside him, eyes closed with his cod head nowhere to be seen and a hand loosely clasped over Scott’s. Surely this had to be a dream, or some sort of bizarre afterlife where he saw visions of Jimmy actually caring about him. All those hazy memories from before, of someone Scott now definitely knew was Jimmy soothing him and reassuring him? That couldn't have been real. Why would it be? Scott had betrayed Jimmy. He shouldn't want anything to do with Scott… but that didn't mean Scott didn't want to enjoy the fantasy while it lasted.

Jimmy suddenly stirred beside Scott, hand gripping his own a bit tighter and causing his heart to flutter. Soft brown eyes blinked open, hazy for a moment before they registered Scott staring right back. An elated, relieved grin came over Jimmy’s face, and Scott really must have been dead or dreaming to earn a look like that. No way that the real Jimmy would care about him that much after everything that Scott had done.

"How are you feeling?" Jimmy asked softly, and Scott could only blink in confusion.

"Am I dead?" Scott blurted, voice hoarse from such little use. Jimmy let out a nervous chuckle at the outburst, shaking his head fondly.

"It was admittedly looking pretty bad… it's still not looking great if I'm honest- but your fever's finally gone down. So you're alive," Jimmy gently explained. Interesting. So maybe this was a fever dream then? But if this was real, and Scott really was going to be okay… he had so much he needed to say to Jimmy. He needed to explain himself, properly apologize for what he had done. He had to take this chance, even if it wasn't real so that Scott could at least finally live with himself- if he was even going to live at all.

"Jimmy-" Scott started, but was cut off with a choked gasp as pain suddenly flared in his arm, shooting all the way up to the top of his spine. It felt like there was something clawing inside him, trying to latch onto him and pull. He was suddenly gasping for breath, hands clutching at the sheets and at Jimmy’s hand.

"Scott? What's wrong, I'm here- Gem!" Jimmy called, standing up but still tightly holding Scott’s hand as he leaned over him with a worried expression. Scott was shaking now, trying to hold back whatever the hell it was clawing up towards his head. Tears sprung to his eyes as he gasped and shuddered, a death grip on Jimmy’s hand.

"I'm sorry," he managed to gasp through the pain. "Sorry" didn't even begin to cover it, there was so much more that Scott wanted to say- but the whatever it was suddenly latched onto Scott’s mind, like claws digging into his skull and forcefully pulled. His body seized one last time with a cry before going limp, his hand loosening his hold on Jimmy’s as well, and his eyes fluttered shut.

And then Scott saw nothing but red.

-

Taglists below! Ask to be added or removed!

MCYT General Fic Taglist: @corazon10000 @damiensaidno @franticfandomfanatic @gattonero17 @hetapeep41 @space-ace123 @vyeoh 

AIAHS Taglist: @anty-kreatywna @beepa99 @devilwoodkitty18 @riobug 

#empires smp #scott smajor #jimmy solidarity #geminitay #flower husbands #mcyt #aiahs #sage writes

[the-mad-starker]

Hi got any starker web bondage one's? I love your blog.

Aww thank you! I wasn't sure if you were asking if I personally wrote any so I'm including ones written by me and a few I've dug up from ao3. (Didn't even bother trying to find via tags on Tumblr 😭 why's it so bad)

I apparently wrote two!

Caught Up in You (Link)

Note: Daddy kink

Bottom!Tony with webbing used as restraints.

My Way (Link)

Note: Dubcon cause of drunk Tony, daddy kink

Needy Peter having a huge crush on his mentor and taking his chance when he comes across a drunk/tipsy Tony.

---

And then I found these gems (and listed with no particular order) and omg the tags some ppl use for web bondage- I love it. Gonna start using it next time I write one 😂 some of these may just have Tony or Peter caught in webbing so not necessarily web bondage but 🤷

Please check the tags since I skimmed for some!

Something New (Link) by @spidey-sins

Here's my prompt 6 of Kinktober- Role reversal!

____________

“Actually, I’m not so sure about this, maybe we should just stick with what we normally do…” Peter rambled, going back on his decision again.

His boyfriend, Tony, currently webbed to their bed, didn’t look very amused.

Tensile (Link) by red_crate

Someone would probably accuse him (again) of being a weird pervert, but he's chubbing up in his jeans from the combination of Peter sitting on his lap and being restrained by Peter's web work.

He's not repentant of it though

Edge of Seventeen (Link) by @tiemeupwithmywebbing

Note: ambiguous age but tagged underaged

Tony's out of town for a week, and edging drives Peter insane; Prolonged torture, rewards, and aftercare ensue

Webbed (Link) by @venomondenim

Note: bottom Tony, sequel to put that back against the wall (make you beg, make you crawl) (Link)

“It’s the one where I web you to the wall, or table, your choice,” Peter grinned salaciously. Illegal, Tony chided in his head. But then Peter continued. “I web you ‘til you can’t move, then I fuck you. And maybe,” Woah, when did Peter get so close? He broke into Tony’s personal space and lowered his voice so it was breathier and sent tingles up Tony’s spine. “Maybe if you’re good I’ll give you permission to come when I’m done.”

Simple Miscalculations (Link) by @sapphic-futurist

In which Peter makes a simple mathematical error with unexpected but gratuitous results.

Because We’re Scientists (or Just Really Dirty) (Link) by @learned-foot

Five times Peter and Tony try something new (and the one time they don’t need to).

Those Eyes (Link) by @learned-foot

Tony Stark is faking it ‘til he makes it. He just didn’t know he would like it so much.

a little more conversation by servicetopthor

The web-bondage was Tony’s idea.

I am totally going to dominate you (Link) by anonymous

Note: bottom Tony, daddy kink

In which Tony lets Peter take the reins.

Kinktober2020 (chapters 16, 24 I think- Link) by @twokinkybeans

A series of one-shots based on our Tumblr Kinktober Prompt List!

--

Anyone feel free to add in your own fics/recs 💗

#asks #starker #nff #inappropriate use of webbing #fic list #I gotta go go back and readcomment on these babies

[philosopherking1887]

Writer tag game

Thanks for tagging me, @ectogeo-rebubbles... 4, days ago, sorry; my parents are visiting and I haven’t had much time to myself.

How many works do you have on AO3?

61

(Why is the number so big when I post? @sapphosewrites said the same thing, so I know it’s not just me...)

What's your total AO3 word count?

515,575

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Mostly Zuko-centric ATLA fics because a couple were inspired by a BNA whom I tagged in the Tumblr post, then she reblogged and lots of people saw them.

Between the Salt Water and the Sea Strand

To Give Birth to a Dancing Star (didn’t get very far on that one, oops)

The Last Argument

Zeno’s Paradox (the only non-ATLA fic on this list; I posted it very shortly after Thor: Ragnarok came out, before I realized how terrible it was)

Shame and Necessity

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes, almost always (unless someone said something weird, or one person left a bunch of identical short comments on different chapters of the same fic; it seems a bit silly to respond to every “<3″ with “Thanks!”). I respond to encourage people to keep commenting, by assuring them that I’m reading comments, I pay attention to their content, and I appreciate them. I especially like it when people comment on specific themes in the fic or how it relates to some aspect of canon, so that it starts an analytical conversation about the story and the characters -- which is what a lot of us are here for.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’m gonna say The Third Time, because Loki actually permanently dies.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Starting Over, I guess? That’s the hopeful ending of my Thorki series, taking place before some hypothetical version of the Infinity War storyline in which neither of our principal characters dies (because fuck the actual movies, and fuck Ragnarok too, while we’re at it). But there are other fics, sometimes intermediate in one of my series, that have hopeful rather than downbeat endings, even if more complications arise later. The Ninth Deadly Sin is a rare standalone fic with a happy ending (which I’d forgotten about until I went looking through my Works page for happy endings). Prince of Darkness also has a fairly happy ending that involves solving climate change with Frost Giants...

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

No, at least not yet. I have nothing against them in principle, and sometimes enjoy reading them, but since the target audience is the intersection of two (or more) fandoms, it’s necessarily going to be smaller than either fandom on its own.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really related to the fic. I did get a random nasty comment on a Garashir fic about a fan letter I wrote to Tom Hiddleston (and handed to his manager-person after seeing Betrayal in London) and then posted on Tumblr. Just someone being an asshole.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do indeed! I write very chatty smut, with a lot of feelings, often angsty, and sometimes awkward, because sex can be awkward, especially if one or more of the participants is inexperienced (at least with bodies like their partner’s).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes -- someone translated No Exit into French as Aucune sortie (though actually, the French title of the Sartre play that I named the fic after is Huis clos).

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I’m inevitably going to answer that kind of question with my current favorite ship, which is Garashir... but that might actually be my all-time favorite ship because the fandom is a lot more welcoming and chill than others I’ve been in before.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Hoo boy. All the people I’ve seen doing this tag game previously have said they don’t have any; I have 5 partially posted WIPs in old fandoms that I doubt I’ll pick up again. I think I’ve tagged most of them as “on hiatus” and warned readers in author’s notes that I probably won’t finish... Do I want to finish them? In theory, yes; in practice, no.

What are your writing strengths?

I’ve most often received compliments on my dialogue, which I also find the easiest thing to write; my favorite version of this compliment is when people say that they can hear the dialogue in the actors’/characters’ voices. Some people enjoy the philosophical discussions that I can’t help inserting into my fics...  

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plots. Thing happening. I cannot come up with plots. All of my fics are just people talking and having thoughts and feelings about things.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Ask yourself: what does it add to have the dialogue in the language it’s supposed to be in rather than translated? If the POV character speaks the language, would it be sufficient to note that they’ve switched to a different language, or put it in italics or something to indicate that? If the POV character doesn’t speak the language, would it make more sense to just say that other characters have spoken an unintelligible string in another language, or that they just caught a few words, or whatever? That’s not to say that there’s never a good reason to include the actual language; if the actual words are important, or if it matters that the POV character doesn’t switch effortlessly between languages, or if it just adds some richness of texture that you’re going for, it can make sense.

If it’s a real language that you’re not fluent in, do ask someone who is to check your grammar.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, of course; I am that age, after all. I wrote fics about Tom Riddle and/or Voldemort when I was in middle school in 2001-2. I’ve always been interested in the villain’s perspective.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

At the moment, Had we but world enough, and time. It stayed reasonably self-contained while also covering the issues I wanted it to cover, with some smut thrown in. Maybe my best fic is actually an older one, but my favorite is always in my current fandom, because that’s what I’m excited about... and I’d like to think my writing has been improving with practice.

Tagging: @delicatetrashstranger, @vermin-disciple, @hex-o, @judiops, @the-last-dillpickle... and @illwynd and @incredifishface (since I actually ended up talking about my Loki and Thorki fics in this one).

#fic writer tag game #my fanfiction

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

Aqua’s Live Reactions: “Tommyinnit Breaks Into Prison and Tries to Kill Dream”

So... I was asleep during the livestream (I’d say I was recovering from my past 4 days of tests) and apparently this one’s a bombshell of a stream, so I’m reacting to this one as well! Since the vod isn’t even up as of the time I’m watching this, I’m watching an unofficial vod here (warning: thumbnail is a spoiler).

Once again, a few things before we start:

For once, I don’t know what happens during the stream. Like, not at all, I slept in until like 11:40am. I might have been spoiled a little by a meme on a community post that I got the moment I went on YouTube to look for the vod, or maybe some hints of spoilers in fanfics written by speedrunning authors on AO3. That’s all I know, I’m going in blind this time. Also, thumbnail of the vod seems to be a massive spoiler, that’s literally all I know.

I hate how I’m going in blind, because I can’t go on Tumblr because people liveblog, I can’t edit TV Tropes because they update fast (nor the DSMP Wiki, for that matter), I can’t go on Discord if I’m looking in the spoiler channels, I can’t even use YouTube to look the damn vod up without getting spoilered... ugh. Time zones, amirite?

Like always, if there are any ads, you’re probably going to see me raging over them.

This whole post is within the context of the SMP, so /rp and /dsmp applies to everything under the cut.

If you don’t know what happened, be warned, as spoilers go unmarked. I’m only adding the spoiler warning because it’s within the first 24 hours of the stream, but in all the other cases, it was later, so it was all fair game.

0:00 – GHOSTBUR??

0:19 – Ranboo and Tubbo and Ghostbur... it’s the boys! <3

0:42 – Are you guys seriously trying to wither the prison?!

1:58 – You do realize that this is a risky play, right? No wonder there are fics where Sam apparently kills Tommy that are tagged spoilers... also, doesn’t Ghostbur melt upon touching water and stuff? There’s a water path in the security measures, how are we supposed to do that? (Wait, sending Ghostbur in... is that the catalyst for the spoiler in the thumbnail?)

2:35 – Ooh, the Axe of Peace, huh? Perfect metaphor. Also, would Dream be under the impression that Quackity’s showing up for the daily torture session again? Hmmm... wonder how that plays out.

2:59 – “We only need to take one of his canon lives, right?” Arguably, yes, actually, considering he only has the one left. We take one of his canon lives, and he’s permadead! Exact words trope, my man!

3:57 – But don’t you need to die to get into the prison? Non-canonically, that is, but seriously... security measures and all, you need to reset your spawn at least twice... how are you going to bypass the very security measures of the prison? In theory, you can’t keep anything on you, and you need inside help to sneak anything into the jail, as Quackity demonstrated a month and a half ago.

4:11 – “...but... I like women!” Man, Sam’s so going to think that Tommy put you up to this, no one on this server talks about liking ladies as much as Mr. TommyInnit does. Dead giveaway, pal.

4:16 – “This is gonna work.” No, I doubt it, I know it has to work for the plot to work, but realistically... I don’t think it’s gonna work.

4:35 – “I’ve been thinking a lot about girls.” Please... don’t do that. Don’t talk about boobies when the only woman you’ve been with (as far as we know) is a literal fuckin’ fish, and fish definitely don’t have boobies, no matter what the content mocked in r/PointlesslyGendered may suggest. Also, choose a more inconspicuous topic... please? Changing the subject so abruptly is only going to raise suspicion.

4:46 – “You look very kickable. You’re gonna--” “Yay!” LMAOOOOOOOOOO why would anyone want to kick the cinnamon roll?

5:36 – “They’re not gonna try and revive me, right?” I don’t know for sure, but considering what Dream said and the spoilers that are insinuated... I’m sorry. 

5:56 – I’ll be honest with you, Tommy, this plan is far from sound.

6:17 – No, I don’t think you have a backup. This scares me. It’s too risky of a play.

6:37 – FRIEND!! My beloved!!!

6:48 – What the hell does ‘ruminating’ mean? Is this some fancy word for ‘eat’ or is it English as First Language exclusive learning term? *looks up on dictionary* “to bring up food from the stomach and chew it again”... specialized biology term... ew. I never learnt this word. Does the English education system cover this sort of stuff in their Bio curriculum? *sobs*

7:08 – Bringing friend for cute points? I doubt that’s gonna work, but sure. Just... try not to die, okay, dearie?

7:55 – Does Ghostbur seriously have a sword named lore?! And Tommy has a Manburg shield? What the... (Speaking of that, Quackity had a Manburg shield or banner in his ender chest as well, from when he tried to blow up the Egg? What’s up with that? I know this is super off-topic, but I want to know how they got their hands on enemy merchandise.)

8:04 – Ghostbur and friend... this is way too adorable

8:15 – I love them being happy, but hm... Dream and Sam are both online right now... I wonder why...

8:26 – MY HEART GHOSTBUR AND FRIEND THIS IS AMAZING

8:34 – FRIEND EATING GRASS............................... THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE SEEN ALL DAY AND THE BOYS ARE HAPPY, MY DAY IS MADE, GAME OVER, WE CAN GO HOME NOW

9:27 – Imagine this plan succeeds and Quackity comes in the next day and sike! Dream is officially deceased and he still doesn’t know how to bring people back to life yet! (I pray that his somewhat addled moral compass is still intact and he won’t go after the kids.)

9:32 – HE GAVE THEM BOTH HUGS AJKS;FA;LSDLKSA;SRW;AFDSC

10:29 – “shame I feel because of him” *screams*

10:57 – Are we gonna have to go around, because Ghostbur melts in water?

11:08 – This genuinely scares me, his feet are gonna be melted!

11:40 – Is that the shaky breath everyone has been talking about?

12:28 – How did a baby zombie get in? Please don’t get Philza’d.

12:55 – I’m noticing all these white particles in the nether waiting room section, is it built in a basalt delta biome?

13:16 – Bye, friend ;-;

13:33 – “he’s my comfort sheep” I CAN’T (also perfect way to change the subject, as planned)

13:55 – Did Sam ban all the visits on the prison after the whole death incident, or did he loosen up ever since the whole daily torture routine started?

14:21 – While he’s reading, Tommy’s making weird expressions and probably mentally prepping in silence in the background

15:13 – No, Ghostbur, you’ve never visited the prison before this, and most certainly not your living counterpart...

15:20 – “Where’s your place of residency?” “L’Manburg.” Excuse me while I cry over Doomsday again..

16:01 – “There’s not much of me physically.” Oh, is he gonna talk about being a barely corporeal (that word is so hard to spell, I had to look it up) ghost-- “I’m quite small.” Oh...

16:59 – Hey, why did he pull the lever?

17:16 – I honestly really love Sam for being relatively nice and patient here.

17:43 – OH, HE’S GOING IN THE GUARD’S WAY!!

17:52 – “Hello, lights! How are you!” I CAN’T, HE’S A CINNAMON ROLL

18:09 – I wonder if the “ahhhh!” was... was it because of pain or a positive emotion? If it’s pain, “that was a lot of fun, can we do it again?”... did he forget?

18:39 – I really am into his acting here, he has to cough, and coughs into his shirt in real life, like to muffle the sound... very pogchamp!

18:52 – Fun definitely isn’t the word to describe this, Sam, I’m with you on this

19:25 – I’m glad that it took this long for there to be an ad, I’m guessing it’s because this channel is relatively small?

20:09 – “[These literal prison cells] are nicer than my house” oh, ghostbur.......

20:33 – Wait, there’s a courtyard?!!?

21:07 – I can definitely feel with you, Tommy, his face... yeah, this search requires literally having a sword stuck through you... like Wilbur’s final canon death...

21:22 – Oh no, it’s the waterworks... Sam, he melts in water... this is what I was scared for.

22:12 – WHEW! I thought this wasn’t gonna be brought up for a sec.

22:34 – I’m not sure if I should feel guilty for being more concerned for Ghostbur melting in the prison than Tommy’s potions running out.

23:22 – DRINK THE POTION WHILE HE SIGNS THE CONTRACT

23:35 – Tommy’s eyes be poppin’... yeah, you’re kind of being the security breach here, pal, and you got traumatized heavily the last time there was a security breach... in other words, BIG YIKES.

23:43 – Can ghosts even catch colds? You gotta catch a virus for that... can ghosts get affected by viruses again? Also, thanks for the cover-up.

23:57 – Really, really thanks for the timely cover-ups, Ghostbur.

24:11 – Yeah, this would be funny, Ghostbur’s already completely dead... *smile drops* unless...

25:13 – OH NO EXTRA PLUME OF FIRE... SAM, PLEASE OVERLOOK THIS

25:51 – HE’S HERE! WE’RE HERE! I FORGOT HOW CLOSE THE FIRE PART WAS TO THE CELL!!

26:24 – Here’s my question, is that once Dream is dead, would Tommy be trapped in there again, since he didn’t set his spawn? Or would he just die (losing a canon life, since all deaths involving the prison are canon unless it’s a security check thing) and leave his tools behind? I’m just very concerned for if all of this goes to plan.

27:20 – NO HE’S SINGING THE ANTHEM I’M GONNA CRY AT THIS RATE

27:26 – TOMS LOOKS SO CLOSE TO TEARS I CAN’T

27:34 – HELLOOOOOOOOO GREEN BOY!!!

28:12 – GODDAMMIT WE JUST HAD TO DO THIS AT SUCH A CRUCIAL MOMENT TOMMY WHY DID YOU TAKE OUT THAT AXE WHY

28:24 – DUDE THEY CAN HEAR YOU..... SAM IF YOU KILL THIS INTRUDER I WILL TAKE ALL YOUR GODDAMN CANON LIVES YOU HEAR ME

28:51 – SAM, ARE YOU DOING THE MILK AS A SECURITY MEASURE OR DO YOU NOT RECOGNIZE THE VOICE OF THE TEENAGER WHO SCREAMED FOR YOUR HELP BUT YOU REFUSED TO ANSWER HIS CALL

29:47 – ARE YOU SERIOUSLY HERE TO RULE-FU HIM

29:54 – Seriously, man, let your reckless teen son go feral for once /hj

30:41 – “Yeah, and I’ll revive him if you don’t let me free!” DREAM WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON, YOU’RE STILL THREATENING TO KILL A MAN AND YOU’RE HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE, BASICALLY, WHAT THE LEGITIMATE FUCK

31:27 – DREAM BASICALLY JUST BROKE OUT OF JAIL BY LEAVING THE GAME YOU STUPIDHEAD WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

32:21 – YES YOU COULD HAVE DAMN WELL DONE SOMETHING BUT YOU DIDN’T

33:20 – GHOSTBUR BEING IN DISTRESS MAKES ME SAD 

33:48 – THIS IS GENUINELY HEARTBREAKING YOU KNOW

33:55 – coping mechanisms and getting out of panic attacks? I- *heart shatters*

34:39 – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

34:58 – What has he done? What has he done, Sam? What have YOU done? If you let Tommy kill the fucker, he wouldn’t have killed Ghostbur in front of everyone just as the lava curtain started falling! I know it’s a terrible idea to mess with the prison in the first place but he was SO CLOSE!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

37:21 – “I’m not corrupt, Tommy!” SAYS THE MAN WHO IS AN ACCOMPLICE IN ACTION FOR TORTURE!! I HATE DREAM JUST AS MUCH AS EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ESTABLISTMENT DOES BUT STILL

37:51 – “the only reason you’re not dead is...” is because you want to protect him, I know, it breaks our hearts, but GHOSTBUR QUITE LITERALLY GOT MURDERED BACK THERE, THAT’S TWO PEOPLE THAT DIED IN THE JAIL ALREADY... THREE IF YOU COUNT PONK AND HIS ARM INCIDENT

38:37 – oh no... what is he going to tell friend? that his owner is dead? as he waits in the nether? TT-TT

38:58 – “you can blame me all you want, you did this.” SAM PLEASE STOP

39:15 – “every single problem in this prison is caused by you” WHAT THE FUCK SAM... TOMMY DIDN’T SET OFF THE TNT THE LAST TIME HE VISITED, YOU STUPID FUCKHEAD, HOW ARE YOU BLAMING HIM?? WHAT THE HELL...

39:28 – “you’re the greatest security risk” DUDE YOU SAW HIM WITH AN AXE, YOU KNEW WHAT DREAM DID TO HIM IN EXILE MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE KNOWS, DID YOU THINK HE WAS SERIOUSLY GOING IN TO BREAK DREAM OUT?? LOGIK???????????/

40:41 – if I check the wiki and don’t see their relationship status as a smacking negative, I’m firing whoever’s in charge of the editing and I’ll change the status myself... also SAM WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THINK HE WAS THERE TO BREAK DREAM OUT AND LET HIM ROAM FREE WHEN DREAM HURT HIM AND EVERYONE ELSE ON THE SERVER????????? WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF LOGIC IS THIS, DO YOU HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS????????? YOUR NEURONS ARE GODDAMN WHACK

41:19 – *sobs over friend* what is happening... what have they done? why? *cries even harder*

41:21 – “oh no...” i know, right............................. *cries even goddamn harder*

41:54 – “i think he’s dead.” “that’s not possible.” i don’t even know what to say ;-;

42:16 – oh shit....................................... dream brought the og wilbur back, I think... he couldn’t have revived ghostbur because he’s already dead..........

44:15 – at the brief glimpse of the tablist... wilbur’s face... it’s not grey... it’s in full colour... wilbur is back...

45:46 – take care of friend.... oh no.......... does wilbur get a redemption arc now? we kind of literally dragged a suicide victim out of the afterlife where he thought he belonged...........

46:08 – his distress................ i can see why the wham episode page on tv tropes is updated now............ because what the fuck happened

46:19 – guys, be careful of l’manhole.......

46:34 – there’s the shrine....... do we get to see quackity’s message?

47:05 – HOLY SHIT HE REALLY IS BACK

47:13 – HE HAS A WHITE STREAK, I REPEAT, HE HAS A WHITE STREAK FROM THE REVIVAL, EVERYONE STAY CALM, THE HEADCANON IS NOW CANON

47:36 – does he have a bandaged left arm? and a literal stab wound? is that from... the death?

47:44 – “who the fuck’s ‘friend’?” oh shit he doesn’t have ghostbur’s memories................

48:14 – “did i do that?” no, sir, it’s your dad, him and his cronies bombed the place to smithereens, even more than you did. he genuinely doesn’t have any memories from since he died, i think............

48:41 – he’s laughing at l’manhole................

49:10 – “I have spent... thirteen and a half years--” holy fuck this man isn’t dead, if he was right about dying at age 32, then now he would be... 45 and a half?? that’s almost as old as my parents, jesus christ almighty

50:07 – “this is my sunrise” the sun rises as he is brought back, what a dramatic bitch, i love him

50:48 – wilbur being back from the afterlife is oddly funny

51:27 – sir, you are kinda retrauming him

51:49 – “my personal limbo was a train platform, tommy” IS THIS A YCGMA REFERENCE?????? I HAVE SEEN. SO MANY. FANART. OF THAT. THAT I THINK HE SAW IT TOO AND MADE IT CANON. YCGMA IS CANON, EVERYONE STAY CALM

52:21 – “you got on a train and you left!” OAAHFASD;KFJALASSASDFJKL;S *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

52:50 – ghostbur................... *sobs*

53:00 – “it was dream” holy fucking shit.......... is that a metaphor for him being in control of life and death?

53:08 – he thinks of dream as his hero?! i understand why tommy is looking at him like that, what the legitimate fuckwit...

53:21 – while I’m happy he’s no longer suicidal, I am still genuinely concerned for this man.......... so concerned. so very fucking concerned. no wonder there were so many tv tropes updates. holy shit.

53:40 – whew, he knows what ghostbur knew.

54:39 – needless to say, I am SUPER DUPER VERY CONCERNED FOR REVIVEDBUR

54:50 – “oh fuck” is a fantastic way to put it... and what the fuck is the perfect summary for the stream, thanks

#dream smp spoilers #dream smp #my post #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #ranboo #tubbo #awesamdude #dream #friend the sheep #pandoras vault #tw victim blaming #/rp /dsmp #arguably? #tw death #tw torture mention #tw suicide mention #cw trauma #cw mental health #aqua live reacts #30 april 2021 #your city gave me asthma