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kirishoshego · 3 years

Text

Confidental Composition//Bakugo

!!!MINORS DNI!!! 18+ONLY !!!

This is the first part of my little 'Teachers Pet Series' (I will add the link once I got all parts covered and the right ideas).

Summary: A simple task fucked up late at night as you send the wrong version of a piece of homework to your English literature teacher Mister Bakugo. Of course, he would want to see you after class the next day. But not for the reasons you might think. Pairing: Docent!Bakugo x afab!student!y/n // Words: 4.2k+ Side note: Insert a friend or random name you want for X :)

TW: nsfw: slow burn (sorry), spanking with a ruler, hair pulling, being bend over a desk, calling him sir, spitting, choking, dirty talk, degrading, slight praise

„Write an essay about the worst description of a woman or coitus. In the essay, explain why it is bad and then rewrite it. At least 30 pages, max. 60 pages (sources and any other extras you please to include, excluded). Due Date: 8 weeks from now on, 35% worth of your end grade. Questions can be asked per E-Mail, or, if you must, I’m free every Wednesday afternoon for meetings strictly for this essay and this essay only.“

A sigh left your lips as you starred at the piece of paper for the tenth time today ever since he handed it out to you and your classmates. The options you had were endless, you knew so many bad pieces about both topics and could write more than 100 pages about them as well. Everyone in class you talked to had decided on their topic already, some were even further. It was X who told you to just write the topics on a piece of paper and let fate do its work.

Black ink on a badly ripped blue note decided that you were going to write about a sex scene. Just now that you thought about it, rewriting something like that for your professor to read was an awfully stupid idea, yet you decided to listen to a small piece of paper.

At first, you were going to go with Fifty Shades of Grey but you felt like the choice was chewed up and spat out. It took you three days to finally decide on a book and once you settled there was no turning back. Considering your ignited interest in this topic you weren’t surprised when you were done within the first four weeks. Knowing the editing is going to take another week, maybe even a week and a half, you decided to take a small break, just one or two days off. On your second day, you decided to visit the new coffee shop that had just opened up around the corner.

Never had you expected to see your professor near your living spot. You were about to greet him when you noticed his pissed-off expression on his face and only now did you spot the woman behind him. She grabbed his arm and made him turn on the relatively small and empty street.

„Suki you can’t be serious,“ she was angry and hurt, while he seemed to be angry and annoyed. Not much of a difference than to how you see him on the daily, to be honest. „Are you fucking stupid? Of course, I’m fucking god damn serious. It was your choice to cheat on me and now I choose to throw you on the streets where you apparently belong, go ask one of your little boy toys to take you in for all I care,“ you were frozen in place, not entirely sure what to do. Right now your eyes were glued on his chest that was clad in a tight, black pullover, rising up and down heavily as his nostrils were flared caused by his anger. „Because you gave me no choice! If you like that sort of weird, rough shit then paddle your own canoe! I need something soft and tender-,“ before she could finish her sentence he laughed. Cold and slightly maniac in a way.

„Then get some fucking chicken! If you don’t like how I’m in bed then break up with me and piss off but don’t send my best friend a nude to ask him to come over. Even a ten-year-old would see how stupid that is,“at that moment your eyes met. His eyebrows were furled together, red eyes expression furry and disgust. Blond hair usually styled like he was going to be on the cover of Vogue, like he had been before, now slightly messy. Plump lips slightly apart to let his teeth shine through slightly before wetting them with his tongue. Your eyes widened and before you knew what you were doing you waved at him, making him cock his eyebrows in confusion for a second before noticing it was you who he was looking at. Turning on your heels you walked past busy crowds of people as you walked back home, trying to understand what you had just seen and why your angry professor had turned you on more than anyone had done before.

It was a stupid idea to ditch the next teaching unit of his but you had absolutely no clue how you were going to look at him. You knew teachers had a private life themselves, but never would you have guessed that you would run into one of them in your small area. As far as you knew he lived across town according to the very, very few private stories he had shared in magazines.

„Dear Professor,

down below is my finished project as an attachment in form of a PDF. I know you request it to be printed as well and I had planned to hand it in today, but sadly I came down with the flu. I’m looking forward to attending your next unit in the following week.

Have a nice week,

Y/N Y/L/N“

Maybe he had forgotten that you were there already and you were worrying too much about it. You were his student, nothing more, nothing less. Bakugo could care less about you, right? The flu did go around a lot right now, so it wouldn’t be completely unthinkable that you were sick. Itching eyes signaled you that it was time to go to bed now, so you closed your laptop and went to bed, not knowing what the next day will hold for you.

X had waited for you at the main entrance the next day to give you all the information you might need and ask why you weren’t there, considering it was obvious that you had the flu for one day only. At first, you were hesitant to explain what you had witnessed, it was messy already and you doubt Mister Bakugo would want the fight to go viral at his workplace. „Just one of those days you know? I had my mind completely full and felt like crap,“ that was the best excuse you could come up with, a white little lie that wouldn’t harm anyone. „Glad to see you’re doing- Oh, hello Professor,“ X smiled at someone behind you. There was no need to turn around to know who it was, the scent of his very expensive and extremely beguiling perfume clouding your mind. „Hello,“ his gruff voice greeted your friend shortly as you turned around, met with his muscular chest. You didn’t expect him to be so close to you, but here you were, tilting your head slightly as you looked up to him through your lashes, feeling not just your cheeks growing hot. „Good morning Sir,“ your voice sounded a lot more confident than you were feeling. Bakugo clenched his fist around the fake leather of his bag, his red eyes starring right into your soul as you had no chance of escaping whatever was going to happen next. „Miss Y/L/N, just the person I was looking for,“ fuck. „You were?“ X and you said at the same time, but your friend decided to excuse themself after a single glare from the older man. „How may I help you, Professor?“ You asked after swallowing down the anxious feeling that threatened to rise. „I received your Mail yesterday, with the PDF,“ okay, why did he search you just to tell you he got your assignment? Was it that bad? „But I’m relatively sure that it was the wrong one, considering I doubt that you want your teacher to know that 'this shit is so bad, but I wouldn’t mind being bent over a writing desk like that' with a smirking emoji at the end,“ only when his finger pushed your chin upwards gently you noticed that it was agape, shame filling every molecule in your body as you already planned your escape out of this country. Nobody was near you to see the weirdly intimidating scene happening between you and your teacher.

„Also I know you didn’t have the flu. I don’t appreciate being lied to. Tomorrow five p.m. in my office, don’t be late or you will get in more trouble. Send me the actual version tonight so I can grade it. I won’t let something as unprofessional as this slide again, understood?“ You nodded, taking in all of the information given to you, and somewhat in all of this mess felt thankful that he was giving you a second chance. The man in front of you rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue, ordering you to speak up. „Yes Sir, thank you,“ you sounded more confident than you felt inside. „Good,“ was all Bakugo said before he turned around, leaving you behind in the big hall dumbfounded and confused… And horny.

As if Chronos himself felt immense joy in your misery, minutes appeared to be hours and the panic inside of you only grew the closer you came to five in the afternoon. You tried everything, watching a show, listening to podcasts and audiobooks, reading a book you had put of for so long, went outside, cooked something, worked on another assignment, stopped yourself from destroying your hair, made the phone call you so desperately had put off and it’s still only ten p.m on the same day. How was that even possible? As you laid in bed you tossed and turned, the thought of your really hot teacher all angry, breathing heavily, his hands roaming your body. It was hard to pinpoint exactly when those thoughts turned into a very lucid dream, but when you woke up in the morning, already an hour too late to your first period, all you wanted to do was scream into your pillow.

Considering first class is canceled, you wanna go grab breakfast? X texted you.

Canceled? Checking your mails you saw your teacher had sent out a mail, excusing themselves and explaining they came down with the flu. A blessing in disguise. You let X know that you would meet up at the building and go grab something near it. Once agreed, you took a quick shower, a moment of peace given to you as water hit your body. There was no way you could do anything between your last class and the meeting with Professor Bakugo, so you tried to look your best possible for the next upcoming hours.

Suddenly time flew by and the closer you got the more you begged for a little bit more time, for him to postpone it, anything. But no, here you were, five minutes early and looking around to spot the blond man with no luck. „Miss Y/L/N. Step inside,“ you jumped slightly as his voice boomed up behind you, not expecting him to be in the office already.

Once you walked inside you were stunned about how clean everything was, no matter where you looked it was neat. His books were sorted alphabetically with marks between them to let him know when a new letter began. As far as you could tell he used cherry wood for his pieces of furniture, a big, black carpet in a corner underneath a small seating area, and some books placed on the table. Even his paperwork was stacked in order. Big glass windows allowed the evening sun to fall into the room, its warmness kissing your skin while you were seated in front of him, a big writing desk between the two of you, on it your work.

It was quiet for a short moment, before he leaned back in his chair, red eyes mustering you up and down which didn’t help at all. „What would you like to talk about first? Your assignment or the fact that you lied to me?“ Why was he so bothered by your lie? You knew plenty of students calling in sick every once in a while even though they aren’t. „I apologize for both of it. It shouldn’t have happened and I learned from my mistake,“ you were hoping that it would ease his anger a little bit but he seemed more worked up than usual. „Although I don’t understand why you are so angry at me for it? Plenty students lie-,“ „Yes, but they aren’t stupid enough to make it so obvious,“ he interrupted you. „I could care less about who’s missing my class, it’s their fault in the end if they decide learning is unnecessary. However you are one of my top students, I expected better from you. You could have excused yourself with no explanation. But you chose to add the feeble lie about being sick for what?“

You took in a deep breath, feeling as if another lie would be caught immediate, so you had no other choice but to tell him the real reason: „I heard the fight you had with the woman you were with, in the café, and I didn’t know how to react when I see you in your class,“ there was a small moment where he looked honestly confused before something clicked in his brain. „So it was you who I saw. What did you hear?“ „I can’t really rem-,“ „One more lie and I will lose my temper, don’t test me,“ shit, why was he turning you on so much right now. He’s your teacher for god’s sake and angry at you, this wasn’t the right time. „That she doesn’t agree with certain things in your private life,“ „Like?“ he knew you tried to talk around it, yet he wanted you to talk about, to see you embarrassed again, he liked that look on you. „The way you fuck,“ it was said before your brain could even comprehend the words, another apology laying at the tip of your tongue but his next question cut you off before you could say something else. „Why were you there in the first place? I’ve been there a few times and never saw you or any other student,“ he explained. „Because I live close by?“ It sounded more defiantly than you had wanted, causing your opponent to cock his eyebrow.

„I feel like you’re forgetting who’s the authority figure here,“ he walked up to his door, locking it before coming back. Now he was right in front of you, slightly sitting on his desk and the sleeves of his button-up shirt pushed up a little. „No sir, I’m sorry,“ „You see, the problem is, I don’t really believe you,“ with that he pulled you up, bodies pressed against each other, letting you feel his toned torso while the muscles in his arms flexed slightly.

„You lied to me once already, I think I have to teach you a lesson,“ everything happened so fast and you suddenly found yourself face down on his desk with his hand between your shoulder blades, the other one grabbing his wooden ruler. „If I recall correctly this is what you wanted right?“ His voice was low, slightly above a whisper as his upper body was pressed against your back while he pulled a few hair strands from your face. „Yes, but Professor I don’t think this is a good idea,“ your inner voice yelled at you, saying this was the best idea ever, angry that you possibly ruined your dreams coming true.

„Tell me to stop and I will do so immediately. Your choice. There will be no consequences if you worry about that,“ he reassured you, waiting for you to get up and run, but you didn’t and the current position allowed him to feel you clench your legs. „So?“ He asked again, the ruler in his hand basically burning with the anticipation of hitting your skin. „No, don't stop,“ you breathed, awaiting his next move.

„Good,“ with that he exposed your raised ass, your underwear the only thing between your bare skin and the wood that came down upon it, one foot raising in the air because of the sudden pain. „From now on if you say stop I won’t listen, you will tell me how you feel through colors. If it’s too much you tell me red and I will drop everything, understood?“ Another spank was delivered to the same spot.

„Yes,“ another one. You weren’t sure if he hit harder or if your skin turned more sensitive with every blow.

„It’s sir to you,“ you could feel him lunge out but shortly before the ruler came down he stoped, laughing slightly at your small jump.

„Yes sir,“ another one.

„You’re going to apologize every time my ruler paints your cute ass even redder, got it?“ You nodded your head, a moan escaping the back of your throat as he spanked you yet again.

„One more thing, be a good girl and stay quiet, wouldn’t wanna get caught now do we?“ He knew it was going to be torture for you to follow his order the more he continued and in a way he wanted you to fail. There was so much build-up inside of him and it appears that you were willing enough for him to use you as he pleased. That’s why you were his favorite. Bakugo knew what he was doing was wrong and he never expected to feel this way for one of his students but forbidden fruit tastes the best.

You stopped counting after the seventh blow, sorries, sirs and small whimpers fall from your lips as if they were your whole vocabulary. At one point you started crying, tears mixed with mascara running down your cheeks. He tried to remember something that turned him on more than the sight of your messed-up body with no luck. Everything build up inside of him, everything itching in his hands, the inner desires he had to soften for his ex, it all was going to come down on you. His thick girth twitched at the simple thought of finally being surrounded by your dripping wet cunt.

A warm soft hand rubbed over your bruised flesh while the other one found its way into your hair to pull you up to him, your back arched.

„What are you sorry for?“ Your mind was clouded with pleasure and pain, the only thought right now was the feeling of his dick print right between your sore cheeks. „I asked my little bitch a question, I expect you to fucking answer,“ this time he spanked you with his hand but it was just as intense as his ruler. „I don’t know,“ you breathed, a soft moan slipping out of you when his thumb barely circled your throbbing clit. „You’re just apologizing because you want me to use you?“ You could hear him chuckle lowly before he pushed your underwear to the side, his middle finger now playing with you. „Yes sir,“ Katsuki couldn’t hear a single ounce of shame in your voice and he wondered how long you had been thinking about him like this before.

„I never expected you to be such a dumb, cock hungry whore,“ The sound of his belt hitting the floor was dull like it was far away from you but at the same time, you felt him closer than before. Strong hands around your waist turned you around and once again he lifted your head with his finger underneath your chin, studying your ruined make-up as if he was memorizing every little detail he never wanted to forget. The blond, muscular man lifted you with ease, your behind getting a small moment of cooling as it hit his wooden desk.

Bakugo dried your tears slightly with his thumb, smearing it even more. „Only for you,“ you whispered and in that moment he couldn’t stop himself, he just had to kiss you. Not sweet and gentle, but passionately and hungry, like he was poisoned and your kiss was the antidote. The hand behind your head traveling to the front as you were laid down completely.

„If I had known before I would have fucked you so much sooner,“ with one hard thrust he was buried deep inside of you, one hand over your mouth because he knew you wouldn’t be able to keep quiet and the other one around your throat, squeezing shut and watching you struggle against it slightly. Your professor was thicker than what you were used to and you didn’t know how good it would feel until now. With the first few snaps of his hips, you knew you never wanted to feel something else anymore.

Your hands went to his arms and you tugged on them, causing him to let go as the blood found its way back to your brain. „Color?“ he asked, afraid you weren’t able to handle him. „Green,“ was all you could get out before another moan cut off your ability to talk.

„Good girl,“ he whispered into your ear, kissing down from your earlobe to your shoulder before sucking on a rather sensitive spot. Both of your wrists were held over your head with his left hand, with the explanation that he doesn’t appreciate being stopped while using you however he pleased. The right hand was going from between your chest after he admired your bouncing tits thoroughly, to your stomach to connect with your most sensitive bundle of nerves. Bakugo switched from circles to eights, from fast to slow, but the harshness of his hips never haltered.

„I know you wanna scream right now, but I can’t allow that. Can’t let others hear what a dirty slut you are for me right now. I promise I will fuck you in my house if you behave now. You can moan my name as much as you want. Or maybe I will gag you, watch you drool all over yourself. Maybe I will tie you up and edge you for an hour straight until you’re begging me to fuck you, you like the sound of that, huh? I can feel you squeezing around me,“ another chuckle left his plump lips as he watched you struggle to stay up on your feet.

„Maybe I will let you choke on my dick while I work on something for the next lesson. Gonna use you as my little cum dump. Let you think about it again when I talk about it in front of the whole class. Do-,“ you were so close when a sudden knock on the door startled you both, but he never once stopped what he was doing, if anything he went even harder, whispering into your ear to be quiet for him.

„Hey Kat, your ex is outside and says she wants to talk, want me to send her in?“ It was the psychologist professor Shinso, his voice as done and deep as usual. „No, I’m occupied,“ Bakugo saw your mouth open after you fought so hard against it, he couldn’t let you moan, not right now. He did the first thing he could think of, spitting into it and watching you swallow. Oh, he would definitely film you do this with his cum covering you everywhere and the thought brought him slightly closer to his release. „Still grading papers huh? I don’t get where you got all of that energy from,“ his voice was blurred out by Bakugo whispering into your ear. „Do you want me to tell you what we're doing right now? Let him know I’m fucking my little toy stupid right now?“ And while you were shaking your head no it was the last straw for you and you found yourself grabbing his hand to put over your mouth, biting your lips until you tasted blood to muffle the scream you couldn’t stop. Bakugo cursed under his breath when he could feel you throbbing around his dick and your nails digging into his arm. „Tell her to leave me the fuck alone, she’s already forgotten,“ his voice sounded strained and you knew he was close as well. „Ah, I see. Well then have fun,“ his laugh was fading away the further he went.

„Can’t believe that made you cum, you’re even more perfect than I thought, such a dirty girl, tsk,“ both his hands are on your hips and he pulled your body against him with every thrust. You were still coming down from your orgasm when you felt his thrusts turning sloppy before he stopped completely, his dick now pulsing while he was holding you tightly. Breath uneven and getting stable on his feet again he turned you around, careful so he wouldn’t hurt you.

„Next time I gonna make sure you can’t walk but right now I need you to be able to leave the building,“ he pulled his pants back up and added: „Sadly,“ before walking around his desk.

It was still hard for you to stand so you sat down, wincing as the usually soft cushion now felt like thousand of tiny spikes on your bruised ass. Before you pull your bottoms up again he grabbed your wrist and pulled you up, once again with a stern expression on his face you were so familiar with.

„I apparently really fucked you stupid if you think I let you leave like this,“ having him put cooling cream on your bare bum felt more intimate than having him be balls deep inside you. „Sorry I just thought-,“ „Well, you thought wrong. I don’t know what kind of boys you had in the past but now that you have me there are going to be changes, got that?“

860 notes · View notes

capt-spooki3 · 3 years

Note

Hey hi hello, how are you doing, i miss you and am .5 seconds away from spamming all your work with likes and reblogs 💕☺️

So I've been thinking (uh oh).... Being close with Tommy and tubbo and telling them ur terrified to meet techno cause mans is so scary to you, and they tell him you're scared cause they're little shits. A d cut to like a few days later where you have to talk to him for smthn and he's making fun of youand teasing you relentlessly cause he knows you were visibly nervous to meet him, but he's being really nice besides the teasing. Thoughts? Interpretations?

You don't even have to respond, just know that I love you and your stuff and hope you have the best day because you deserve nothing less◖⚆ᴥ⚆◗

( ˘ ³˘)♥

am i positive if you're asking me for a fic? No, not entirely.

Am i going to write you one anyway because you're so sweet? Yes absolutely and now presenting:

My Unexpected Tutor

Platonic college au!Technoblade and Y/n

(plus besties with the rest of the sbi ofc 😌)

(Hope this is okay, i just took my own interpretation of it and changed it just a little👌)

Warnings: cursing, teasing, nervousness(idk)

3.3k works

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With the final bell ringing and college classes ending for the day, you snatched up your bag and book you’ve read off and on that week before heading over to the courtyard that was near the on-campus dorms. Stopping by a vending machine first to grab a drink then seating yourself on a bench and getting comfortable while you wait for your company to arrive.

“Yeah! And that’s- HA! That’s when Wilbur just… oh!-” The nearing sound of Tommy’s voice cut off along with the softer laughing from Tubbo. You were very obviously engrossed in your book, but now you just feigned reading as you listen closely to the sound of slow footsteps nearing behind your bench. The two of them were horrible about being sneaky since you could easily hear hushed laughs as they desperately tried keeping each other quiet.

Right as you heard them stop moving, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself before turning around suddenly and lunging at them over the back of the bench with a half effort grab at Tommy’s extended hand, and yelling. Tommy screamed back, stumbling back a few paces and Tubbo just stumbled before backing up to the bench and busted out laughing.

“Ey what the hell!” He scoffed despite not being able to hold back his growing smile, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’ll remember that bitch, I’m gonna get you back.” he walked over to you and sat on the other side of the bench, giving you a hard glare when you laughed a little bit though it was mostly from Tubbo’s hysterical laughter. He took a deep breath and calmed himself so he could jump over the back of the bench and sit between you and Tommy.

The two boys were your underclassmen, being freshmen while you were a sophomore. The three of you met in your coding class. You were there mostly to get your English degree and major in said area, but you figured while you had the opportunity you would take classes on things you didn’t know much about. There, you met Wilbur, a senior and Tommy’s oldest brother, and he helped you quite a bit with understanding bits of coding that were a bit too confusing for you at first and were quickly becoming friends with him. That was until Tommy entered the picture. First, you just saw him as Wilbur’s chaotic younger brother who just happened to be in the coding class as well but after some insisting that you get to know him from Wilbur, you hung out one weekend in the library. One weekend turned to two then almost every weekend once he introduced you to Tubbo as well and you all had become a true trio.

You got to know Tommy’s family pretty well. His single father, Phil, who was just like a second parent to you now, and Wilbur who acted just like the older brother you never had. You knew them well despite having known them all for less than a year. The only hang-up is when it came to Tommy’s other brother. You knew he had an actual name, but only knew him by his nickname since that’s what everyone referred to him by. That would be Technoblade. The two of you had a couple of literature classes together and the fact that he was only one grade above you, you’d figure that you could befriend him with ease. Now, it’s not like he was big and scary, he was more tall and lanky but he was smart and he had some vibe around him that just petrified you. You couldn’t ever build up the courage to be around him which made it quite an issue since you were best friends with his brother, though this wasn’t an issue you had ever brought up to any of them.

“So how did classes go for you guys today?” You asked as you pulled one of your legs up onto the bench and closed your book which you held close to your chest.

“Fucking shitty! I got a fuck ton of extra work, like I know it’s college and the weekend but let me live.”

“We got one essay to write, it’s two pages long.” Tubbo reiterated with a smile while Tommy grumbled and leaned his head back so he was looking up at the sky. “What about you Y/n?”

“It wasn’t bad, I don’t have any extra work other than a bit of coding to do. Oh speaking of, Tommy?” You reached your foot over and kicked his leg to get his attention, only continuing when he was looking at you. “Is Will gonna be free at all? ‘Cause I need some help with this stuff.”

Tommy perked up a bit, sitting up to get his phone out. “Oh you're right, I actually need help with it too.” He mumbled while texting and staring at the screen as he waited for a reply. “Uhh okay so he says… I’m visiting some friends so I won’t have time… blah blah uh but ask Techno, I heard he’s pretty good at coding. Nice! That’s perfect, you can just come over to my house and-”

“Ah, you know what- I actually think I’m okay.” You quickly interrupted him, pulling your laptop out of your bag to aimlessly scroll through the assignment you were given. “It can’t even be that hard I’m sure… I can figure it out.” You said with as much confidence as you could muster despite knowing full well you’ll be completely lost as soon as you try to start on the work.

“Come on, we both know that’s a lie, you're so shit at this stuff.” He said light-heartedly and watched you ‘work’. “Seriously, just come over. I’m sure Techno is good at this stuff, if anything we can pay him to do the work.”

“It’s fine- really. I think I’ll just wait for Monday, I can ask Wilbur for help then.” You closed your laptop, keeping your gaze on it for a moment before looking over at Tubbo and Tommy who were giving you both a puzzled look. “What?”

“You don’t…” Tubbo started to speak but Tommy pushed him back with an arm on the chest so he could lean over to look at you closer.

“You don’t have a crush on Techno, do you?” He said and squinted at them as if disgusted by the thought.

“What!? No!” You sat up taller and looked at him, baffled that he resorted to that.

“Well, then what the hell is the problem! Just come over and he can teach us!”

“I just… he’s kinda…” You grew flustered and found a loss for good words as you realized you were going to admit this. “He’s scary.”

Tommy busted out laughing and wheezed hard, doubling over as he coughed and laughed some more, stumbling over words as he tried to talk but was laughing too hard. Even tubbo who was trying to hold back, joined Tommy which only made them bounce off each other in their hysterics.

“Wha- I’m serious! Do you two not think he’s intimidating!?” You looked at both of them desperately as you could feel the heat that had risen to your cheeks.

“He’s literally-” Tubbo’s laughter interrupted him. “He’s a nerd! How the hell is he scary?” He settled down a bit and nudged Tommy to get him to calm down too, luckily he got his fit of laughter out.

“Oh my god, no I’ve got to go home now.” He grabbed his backpack that had been discarded behind the bench and looked at you once more before laughing more. “Scared of Techno- oh my god. That's good, that’s a good one. Bye bitches!” He saluted both of you before running off.

“Tommy I swear to god if you tell anyone I will deck your shit!!” You stood up, holding your laptop in hand, to yell at him but just stood there defeated once he turned a corner around a building. Tubbo got up beside you, laughing as he put his hands in his hoodie pocket.

“I wish I could give him the benefit of the doubt… but he’s gonna tell Techno. And Wilbur. And Phil for sure.”

“Yeah... I’m sure he will. I’m going to my dorm, I’ve got to call my mom.”

“Aww-” You put your hand over his mouth, but took it away as soon as he shut up so he wouldn’t lick your palm.

“Shut- I don’t wanna hear shit from you too. Anyway, get home soon and don’t get kidnapped.” You turned away to put your laptop and book into your backpack and zipped it up before pulling it over one shoulder. You looked back at Tubbo and put your fist up to him.

“I’ll kick them in the balls, don’t worry.” He laughed a little and bumped his fist to yours and walked backward a few paces, waving at you. “Tell your mom I said hi!”

You waved back at him and stood to wait and watch him walk off along the stone path until he was fully out of sight to make your way to your dorm, which was right in the courtyard area.

Monday came around and with the school day partially over, you made your way to your coding class. You of course didn't end up doing the assigned homework even though you gave it a good try and just decided to rely on Wilbur's help.

You walked into class and took in a deep breath, it was always cool and smelt of coffee since the teacher brewed a cup before your class every day. Making your way over to your usual computer you looked over to see Tommy sitting in your spot beside Wilbur and chatting to him. You guessed he heard you coming or saw Wilbur look your way because he looked back and grinned wide which never meant good.

"Ey look at who it is! Wonderful seeing you again, how was your weekend?"

"Fine." You said, looking down at him and kicking his foot. "I don't like how you're acting, what the hell did you do?"

He just feigned innocence and looked offended that you could assume such a thing. "Me? Me!?" He leaned forward, hand gracefully on his chest. "I cannot believe you right now, I'm hurt Y/n! Truly hurt."

You scoffed with an eye roll and sat on the other side of Wilbur since the seat was free. As soon as you set your bag down and went to turn toward the two, Wilbur was already facing you and leaning on the desk area for the keyboard in a way that looked like he needed to say something in secret.

"You good?"

He just waved you down and you leaned forward to listen. "You're not… actually afraid of Technoblade are you?"

"Tommy you little shit!" You jumped up, nearly hitting Wilbur but he moved back in time. Tommy laughed and fled to the other side of the room where he normally sat so you just grumbled and took your seat.

"Well?"

"Is no one else? He's intimidating, I feel like he'd call me out on all my insecurities if I inconvenienced him. And THEN he would hold me at knifepoint till I left him alone."

Wilbur snorted and hung his head as he softly laughed, you reached over and hit his arm before leaning closer to whisper. “I’m serious Wilbur! He scares me!”

He looked back up at you with the most amused look. “Come on, you can’t be friends with this family without knowing techno. Honestly. Talk to him today. You two have the same literature class at the end of the day right?” He asked as he sat up and leaned back into his chair to turn his computer on and log into the coding website.

“I mean yeah but- what does that have to do with anything.” You asked, but Wilbur didn’t reply as he just stared at his screen so you leaned forward to get into his peripheral vision. “Will, what does that have to do with anything? I’m not talking to him, I hope you know that.”

You were wrong. Nearing the end of your literature class, you sat there listening to the teacher while completely lost on the assignment. Usually, it wouldn’t be too much of an issue because you would just give it the best attempt you could and see where you messed up at the end to better understand the work. It wasn’t the best tactic but you liked it better than having to ask for help. But now, this was a big and grade-determining assignment, not one you could afford to flunk.

The class was given five minutes to start on or look over the work at the end of the class. You leaned back in your chair, staring at your paper at a loss, and listened to the sound of people moving around the class near you. You didn’t try to look up since you assumed it was friends going to sit together and gossip. That was until you noticed someone took the seat beside you and shuffled a bit closer. Pulling the paper away from your face to look, you froze instantly upon locking eyes with Technoblade who was smiling lightly. You had never seen him this close, the most notable thing was his dyed light pink hair that had grown out brown roots and you could even see in his smile how his top and bottom canine teeth were a bit longer than normal and looked like he had small fangs and tusks.

He pushed his glasses up before crossing his arms and leaning forward on his desk. “Hey so I know you’re terrified of me, but it looks like you’re having a bit of an issue.” You opened your mouth to speak but were just met with a loss for words and just averted your eyes, continually glancing back at him for a moment as you were unsure what to do. He snorted lightly, bringing his hand up to stifle his laugh, and cleared his throat. “Yeah sorry for bein’ so big and scary but I can help ya. Come one, show me what you are confused with Y/n.”

“You- you know my name?” You looked right at him finally to which he raised an eyebrow at you quizzically.

“Well yeah. Did you really expect me not to? You’re besties with both of my brothers and my dad loves having you over. I was just waiting for you to say hi to me.” He leaned back, fidgeting with a ring with his hands. “Didn’t think you’d actually be scared of me, thank Tommy for snitching. He talked about it all weekend.”

You groaned, leaning forward to run your hands over your face and sigh, swearing that you’d smack him once school was out.

“Oh shi-” You looked at Techno and he was checking the time on his phone. “Hey, class is about to end. You’re not gonna be busy are you?”

“Uh… not, no I’m not.”

“Great.” He got up, moving the desk back to its original place and trotting over to grab his bag, and looking back to you. “Get your stuff and meet me at the south entrance, we can work on it back at my house.” And without giving you a chance to try to object, he called to the teacher saying that he was going to leave a minute early to get his stuff together since he rented a locker a bit away from the classroom and the teacher waved him off.

Reluctantly, you went back to your dorm which was close to where you had class. You dropped off unneeded books and grabbed a granola bar from a box you kept in your room then headed toward the entrance Techno told you to meet him at. And of course, walking up the sidewalk to the doors you saw him there sitting on a bench with his bag beside him. He saw you and jumped up, waving you over to him as he started walking immediately. While you were still behind him, you sent a picture to Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur of him walking in front of you and adding the caption ‘i did it :P’.

The two of you chatted while you walked through the neighborhood and despite light teasing on how scary he was, he was easy to talk to and you had a lot in common with him. It was a shame you hadn’t taken the initiative to talk to him before. In no time, you were walking through the door after him into the familiar home where Phil greeted you with a surprised but happy look and offered snacks which Techno graciously took before heading to his room.

To your surprise, Technoblade is the best tutor you have ever had. He is attentive and incredibly patient when trying to figure out where you are having struggles and he’s smart. Like he knows every single bit of what is supposed to be brand new information from the class. Not even two hours into him helping you, you understood the assignment completely and you both spent the next three hours sitting on his bed and working together. You joked with him and he held the same energy while keeping the focus on working and even swapped laptops with him to check it over for each other.

You broke your gaze from the endless lines of text on your laptop screen to look at the window and seeing the orange sky around trees and over top of houses that indicated the setting sun. “Oh my gosh!” You scrambled off the bed, carefully stuffing papers back into your bag. “I didn’t even realize what time it was- Technoblade thank you a million for helping me. I appreciate it so much, but I need to get back to my dorm! I promised my roommate I’d help her cook dinner tonight.” You grabbed your laptop off of the bed and put it into your bag, closing it all up quickly.

Slinging it over your shoulder and adjusting it, you turned to make your way out of the room but you were stopped by a tug and looked back to see Techno holding onto your bag and looking displeased. “Not yet.”

“Wha- I need to go though-”

“It’s a tradition in this house to hug anyone before they leave, you should know that from my dad.” He let go and opened his arms up to you.

You turned to him and tilted your head a little. “You’re joking…”

He just smiled smugly and waited. You glanced at the doorway but gave in and closed the bit of distance, hugging him to which he returned snugly and spoke softly to you. “You’re a good person. I’m glad to have gotten to know you and I hope you’ll come back. I promise I’m not all that bad.” With that, he slowly let go and patted your arm before gently shoving you toward the doorway and plopping down on his bed. “Have a good night!”

“Uh.. yeah, you too!” You said back, still surprised by the exchange. His words swam through your mind as you went to leave the house, hugging Phil on your way out and wishing him a good night as well. Finally checking your phone on the walk home, you found a supportive and proud text from Wilbur, a dirty joke from Tommy, and something in between from Tubbo.

You laughed to yourself, amused by the differences in the messages. It was times like these that you most found appreciation for the three. Mentally you had to correct yourself though. The whole family was good. This you can say for sure now.

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buckys-black-dress · 3 years

Text

stargazing (bucky barnes x fem!reader)

a/n: so this idea totally just came to me because this trope is honestly so cute and i love these and i need to get this out of my system. i listened to stargazing by the neighborhood while writing this and i LOVE this song, so i’d recommend listening while reading! (just listen to the whole album).

also-- happy new year! 2020 quite literally fucked us up but im so grateful this year was the one where i decided to come on here and share my work with yall. i love every single one of my readers, so THANK YOU! anyways, without further ado...

enjoy my dearies!!! -ali

wc: 2.8k

When you first became best friends with Rebecca Barnes in preschool, the last place you’d expected to end up was with a massive crush on her older brother.

James, or Bucky, as he likes to be called my his close friends, was basically the perfect guy for you. He was kind, witty, and didn’t treat you like a child. (Anymore).

Now that you had graduated high school and were in you first year of college, Bucky was in his second year. And things were getting rough.

You were a Cognitive Psychology major, and your main interest was in becoming an occupational therapist. You were attending Columbia University.

And of course, so was Bucky, studying English Literature. Rebecca was studying at FIT, her main interest being in fashion design. All three of you couldn’t bear to leave New York City, so you all decided to stay nearby.

Since all three of you were in the same area, more or less, you three remained close and tight-knit. Since you were still a freshman, you decided to dorm on campus, while Rebecca and Bucky did the same. Bucky was in a fraternity, so he had a place in the house, and you often found yourself hanging out in his room, having been introduced to most of his brothers.

Like today, it was Thursday night, and your classes were cancelled for tomorrow. You were in no rush to get back to your room, and your roommate was also out at her boyfriend’s. Rebecca thought you were finishing up an essay, though.

“Y/N, you’re crashing here tonight?” Bucky’s voice caused his chest to rumble under your place on it.

“Yeah, is that alright?” You asked, looking up at him.

“Of course, Y/N/N.” He smiled back down at you, trying to ignore the fluttering in his chest at your doe eyes.

She’s your sister’s best friend. Becca would hate you.

“I’m gonna wash up before I fall asleep, Buck.” You said with a yawn, lifting yourself off of Bucky’s warm, comfortable bed.

Bucky watched your form disappear out of his room to the bathroom next door, his chest deflating with a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

I’m so fucked.

Making your short walk to the bathroom, your mind was filled with thoughts, and you really didn’t know what to do in this current situation.

You and Becca had been best friends since you were both in preschool.

And now you were pretty certain that you had the biggest crush known to humankind on her older brother.

Staring at your reflection in the mirror as you pat your face dry, you wondered what would happen if this went further.

What would happen if you told Bucky that you liked him?

What would Becca do if she knew you liked her brother?

Shaking your head at yourself, you knew you couldn’t do that to Becca. She’s been there for you through everything that’s happened to you. To just turn around and tell her that you’ve fallen for her brother- you don’t know if that would be the right thing to do.

But how could you just outwardly deny your feelings for Bucky?

A knock on the bathroom door drew you out of your thoughts, letting whoever was knocking know that they could come in.

“Hey, Y/N, how ya been?” It was one of Bucky’s closest friends whom you also knew growing up, Steve Rogers.

“Hey Steve, I’m good. How ‘bout you?” You asked, getting ready to head back to Bucky’s room.

“Good, good, y’know, Peg’s keepin’ me on my toes.” He flashed you a smile, a blush creeping up on his face at the mention of his girlfriend.

“Aw, Stevie’s in loooove,” You sing-songed, pinching his cheek.

“Well, I think I could say the same for you, Y/N/N.” Steve scoffed back in retort, but your breath hitched at the words.

“Shut up, Steve...” You mumbled, twiddling your fingers.

“Y/N, I’m serious... You and Buck ‘ve been spending a lot of time together and I can tell. He’s my best friend, and I know when my best friend is taken for someone. Trust me, Y/N, your feelings aren’t one-sided.” And with that, he steps into the bathroom, leaving you reeling at his words.

Lost in your thought again, you walked back to Bucky’s room. You tucked yourself under his warm duvet, as you fell into a deep slumber with his arm wrapped around your waist, thinking about the weight of it around you as you fell asleep.

The next morning was... quiet... to say the least. After your encounter with Steve in the bathroom, you really didn’t know how to feel about your feelings towards Bucky. He felt the tenseness that was rolling off of you in waves, making him wonder if he did something to make you upset.

Bucky wondered if he was doing too much, wondering if he had caused you to be uncomfortable with him for some reason.

So naturally, he pulled back.

As the days went on and got colder, you found yourself spending more time in your dorm, or places that weren’t associated with Bucky in your mind.

And it was safe to say the both of you were losing it.

Bucky was slowly losing his composure, where he would participate the most in his seminar classes, he was quiet and folded in on himself, losing his confidence.

Where you were the most outspoken on certain topics in your classes, you became a bit of a hermit.

And almost everyone noticed.

Most notably, Becca and Steve.

When you returned from class at the end of a long week without Bucky, you invited Becca over to have take out in your room.

“So, how’s your week been?” She asks, reaching into your takeout box and grabbing a piece of garlic honey chicken.

Rolling your eyes, you say “Fine, same old. You? How’d that design project go?”

“It was awesome! My professor really loved my piece, she said it was one of the ‘most original takes’ on this project she’s seen!” Becca was ecstatic and you were so proud of her.

“That’s so awesome, Bec! One day you’re gonna have to make me something that I can wear, and when someone asks me where I got it, I’ll just say, ‘oh, sorry my best friend made it, you’ll have to wait ‘til it hits the runways to buy it.’” You laugh, pointing your chopsticks at her.

“Y/N, stop, you flatterer.” She smirked, looking back down at her food. “Hey, I’ve also been meaning to ask... have you noticed Bucky acting weird as of late, or anything? Is it just me or is he like... way more quiet than usual?” Becca asked inquisitively.

“Oh- uh, I actually have no idea. I haven’t really seen him that much this week. Just around campus here and there.” You shrug your shoulders, the pit in your stomach nagging at you.

“Really? You guys usually hang out more often...” She responds, and your face burns in embarrassment.

“Wh- How do you know how often your brother and I hang out?” Your voice didn’t even feel like your own as you spoke, quickly occupying it with food.

“Well, he does live with Steve... Apparently you’re around there pretty often.” Rebecca eyes you, seeing your body language and how uncomfortable you seem. “Y/N... If you like my brother, that’s okay. I think you guys would be cute together. And I can tell you like him, so don’t try to deny it.” Becca smiles, reaching to rest a hand on yours in comfort.

“Wh- You don’t care?” You ask in confusion, expecting a bit of a more dramatic reaction.

“Of course I care, I care about my two favorite people being happy. And if they’re happy together, then that’s even better!” She explains, and your head spins.

“I- I’m telling you this in confidence, Becca. You can’t tell anyone, not Steve, not Peggy, and absolutely not Bucky...” She nods, moving closer to you. “I...I do like Bucky. A lot. But I don’t think he likes me that way. I mean, just look at his exes. I’m not like Natasha, or those gorgeous girls. And what if he just sees me as his friend. Like a little sister?” You finish, your hands flailing around and out of breath.

“Y/N... I know my brother, but I can’t read his mind. If I had to take a wild guess... I’d say he likes you too. Based on what Steve tells me, based on how Bucky acts when you come up in conversation... his eyes light up, dude. I think you need to talk to him, face to face.” Rebecca explains, giving her best advice. “You both deserve to be happy, and I think you could both give that to each other.” She softly smiles.

“Thanks, Becca. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You laugh, pulling her into a tight hug. “I’ll talk to him.”

In the frat house across the campus, Steve and Bucky were sitting in the living room amongst some of their other brothers.

“Buck, what’s been up with you this week?” Tony, a senior and president of the frat asks from the kitchen.

“Hm?” Bucky looks up, confused at the question.

“You’ve been... off all week long.” Sam chimes in from next to him on the couch, eyes leaving the football match on the TV.

“I’m fine, why?” Bucky deflects, taking a sip of his drink in hand.

“Whatever you say, but I have a feeling this has to do with Y/N... haven’t seen her around here at all this week.” Tony points out, plopping down on a futon.

Steve’s eyes widened, looking down at his phone that he’s been on all night.

Little did Bucky know, Rebecca was feeding him information about you to him directly, trying to make sense of his friend’s odd behavior this week.

His eyes shot to Bucky’s, trying to gauge his reaction to Tony’s mention of you.

“Yeah, she’s been.... busy, I guess. Haven’t really talked to her.” Bucky says nonchalantly.

“Why not? You two are basically attached at the hip... like, Friday nights are usually your thing together. I thought you’d man up and ask her out already.” Sam’s response caused a stillness in the room, everyone looking at Bucky for his next move.

But it was quiet.

“She’s... she’s my sister’s best friend... I don’t think Becca would appreciate me taking her best friend out to dinner.” Bucky said in a low voice, clearing his throat.

“Have you asked her how she feels about it?” Thor asks from his spot on the other couch. “Maybe she’s fine with it, she doesn’t seem to be too stuck up...” He suggests.

“My sister isn’t stuck up, man. Watch it.” He responds defensively.

“I wasn’t saying that! But you should talk to her about it, that’s all I’m saying!” Thor fights back.

“I just- I don’t know, last week when Y/N was here, she went to the bathroom to wash up at night, and when she came back she was acting totally different. She’s usually comfortable around me, but she was acting like... like she was uncomfortable around me. I thought I did something to make her feel that way, so I kinda backed off this week.” Bucky explains, trying to understand what went wrong.

“Well, did she say anything? Did she try to reach out this week?” Tony asks.

“I mean, she texted me a few times, but it was casual conversation. I can’t tell how she’s feeling. I like her, but I don’t want to make things weird for her and Becca, or Becca and I.”

And this is where Steve chimes in.

“I mean, come on Buck, it’s obvious she likes you too. I think you need to talk to her, because Becca wants you two to be happy. I don’t think she’d care that much, y’know?”

“But what if I make things awkward? Like, what if I read the signals wrong this whole time, and she doesn’t even really like me?” Bucky was now going into a deep spiral, and Steve needed to pull him out, fast.

“Buck, I don’t think so. You should talk to her, face to face.” Steve encouraged.

“You think so?” Bucky wasn’t so convinced.

“Yes!” A chorus of voices echoed in the house, causing Bucky to jump to his feet, ready to confront this head-on.

“Okay, yeah, yes, I’m gonna tell her how I feel. I got this, I’ll be fine-” But his pumping-up session was cut short from the doorbell ringing through the house.

Steve got up, “I got it.” He simply said, smirking mischievously as he turned to face the door and twisted the knob.

And of course, it was none other than you.

“Hey Buck? I think it’s for you!” Steve yells from the doorway, stepping out of the way and directing everyone in the living room to hide out of sight. Of course, they were all still eavesdropping and lurking about.

“Doll, what’re ya doin’ here?” Bucky was beyond confused, you timing was impeccable.

“I-I have some things I wanna talk about. I just, I think we need to talk.” You say, looking up at him.

“Y-Yeah, come inside, it’s freezing out. What’s up, doll?” He asks, pulling you into the house and into the living room, sitting down next to you on a couch, making sure to face you.

“Everything’s alright... but I need to get this off my chest before I go crazy-” You stop yourself from rambling further. “I was having dinner with Becca earlier, and we... talked... about some things. And apparently, someone was telling her about all the time we spend together.” Bucky was listening, but cursing Steve in his head, knowing he was behind it.

“And I know last week I was acting weird, but I promise, it wasn’t because of something you did. Well, it kinda was, b-but not something bad, y’know?” You explain, trying to get Bucky to understand how you feel.

“Whaddaya mean, doll? If I did something, tell me, because I would never want to hurt you-” He started, trying to pinpoint his actions.

“You made me like you! There, you happy?” You exclaim, hands covering your cherry red face. “I said it! I like you. And I totally understand if you don’t feel the same way, I’m just your little sister’s annoying friend, I get it-”

But instead of the feeling of rejection, you were met with Bucky’s lips on yours, his hands cupping your cheeks.

Bucky was kissing you.

Bucky was kissing you!

Holy fuck!

What. The. Fuck.

But before you could overthink anything, you heard loud whoops and cheers coming from all around you.

“What the hell? Steve?” You asked, looking around, trying to process the last minute.

“Finally! Took ya two idiots long enough! God, Becca and I didn’t know how much longer we’d have to be your freakin’ puppet masters.” He laughed from his spot in the kitchen.

“Come on doll, let’s go upstairs to talk, where we could have some privacy...” Bucky said pointedly, looking at his brothers as they kept cheering as you two made your way up the stairs.

Once the door closed behind you two, you were quite literally speechless.

“You kissed me.” You pointed out the obvious, since your mind was still reeling.

“I did.” Bucky simply answers.

“...Why?” You ask, like an idiot.

“Because, for the past three years I’ve had the biggest crush known to man on you... and I knew if I didn’t kiss you then, I never would. Kind of a life or death situation here, doll.” He jokes trying to gauge your mood.

“Bucky...” You sighed, walking closer to him, holding his face, “you can kiss me whenever you want.” And punctuated your sentence with a kiss.

“Well... then... can I call you my girlfriend?” He asks, looking into your twinkling eyes. Bucky’s large hands cover your waist, pulling you closer against him.

“Yeah... I think you can.” You answer, the sparkle never leaving your eyes.

“Hmmm... finally.” Bucky hums, closing the gap between your lips over and over again.

Your loud giggle fills the room as Bucky peppers kisses all over your face, trying to make up for lost time.

“Hey, make sure to use protection, kids!” someone’s voice comes from down the hall from’s Bucky’s room.

“Shut up, Sam!” You both yell in unison, resuming your previous activities.

And in this moment, there’s nowhere else either of you would rather be.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #frat!Bucky #frat!au #college!bucky x reader #college au #college!Bucky #frat!bucky x reader #bucky x reader #brother's best friend!bucky #brother's best friend #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x reader one shot #bucky barnes imagine

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knickynoo · 3 years

Note

Do you have any thoughts on Marty and his self esteem issues? In most of the trilogy, I feel like Marty ranges from experience a lot of insecurity at best, to like a considerable amount of self loathing at worst, (like pls Marty, Doc getting struck by lighting was not your fault? You’re not Thor?) . And there’s the whole chicken thing, so I was curious if you had any thoughts on where it stems from, how it’s affected him etc etc? Okay lmao that’s it, have a great day !!

Hello! Do I have thoughts?? Yes. I do.

So, one of the things I like so much about Marty as a character is that...he's kind of an enigma of sorts? Like. Here's this kid who skateboards, rocks that denim jacket and the cool sunglasses, plays guitar, has a pretty girlfriend, etc. You take all of that, and it should reflect a really confident, popular person. I mean, with all the stereotypical "cool guy" attributes considered, Marty should have Ferris Bueller-level confidence and charm. He should be strutting around, smooth-talking everyone, laughing in the face of danger, and possessing unshakeable self-esteem. But he does/has none of those things because, as we all know, Marty is A Mess (affectionate). And yeah, a lot of it seems to stem from self-esteem issues, which we do see sprinkled throughout the trilogy. Where's it all coming from? Well, a lot of places, most likely...

• FAMILY: Probably the biggest factor. Though I'm sure George and Lorraine were sincerely in love for a while at the beginning of their relationship/marriage, I think it's fair to assume that any real spark between them had pretty much fizzled out by the time Marty came along or when he was a young kid. Take a loveless relationship between a meek, subservient man and a woman who drinks away her feelings, factor in a 17-year-old boy who's probably never had any real semblance of parental stability in his house, and it's highly likely that kid is going to have some issues. It's really difficult to believe in yourself & feel secure when the norm is having parents who are wrapped up in their own worlds/rarely interact with each other, seeing your father get emotionally (& physically!) pushed around by his supervisor, and watching your mom cling to alcohol and sink into depression.

• Plus, there are the separate relationships George and Lorraine have with Marty. Granted, we don't see much of it, but what we see at dinner is probably a good example of a typical interaction. George is quick to steer Marty away from any situation where he may face rejection or hardship. And yeah, he may think he's protecting his son, but this strategy is actually pretty harmful. I can imagine that any time Marty is feeling nervous or let down, and goes to his father seeking encouragement, he's only left with the impression that it's better not to take any risks at all because he might fail anyway. Instead of being built up, any potential self-worth is being chipped away at by George.

And as far as Lorraine is concerned, I get the impression that she's (more often than not) critical and judgemental of Marty. She's not shy about airing her strong dislike for Jennifer, during which Marty stays completely silent and unresponsive. Perhaps Marty's general default around his mom is silence, due to him having learned a long while back that he's better off keeping his mouth shut. I can see Lorraine lecturing Marty often, picking apart every little flaw she may see in him (friends, grades, attitude, etc.), especially when she's had too many drinks and especially when you consider that Marty is probably her most "difficult" child. Sad as it may sound, I can't picture Marty walking away from very many interactions with his mother feeling good about himself.

• GENERAL ANXIETY/NEURODIVERGENCY: Marty is an easily flustered, anxious guy. And whether that stems from his home environment or genetics (I mean, look at George), I don't know. But he definitely seems to be a sort of nervous, hesitant kid, particularly in the first movie. I also, like most of the fandom, headcanon Marty as having ADHD. And like...if that's the case for him, it certainly isn't helping at all with the self-esteem stuff. He's written off as a slacker at school, told he'll never amount to anything, and probably struggles a lot to keep up in his classes and survive in an environment that almost definitely doesn't offer any form of support or accommodations. That would be a big blow to his self-worth as well.

People with ADHD also tend to be very critical of themselves, worry about what others think of them, and have a hard time with rejection. Hence, the one rejection at the audition followed by, I'm just a big, stupid failure and I'll never ever be good enough. My world is crumbling, I should just give up everything forever =(((

(What do you mean those weren't his exact words??)

• BONUS: Marty might also face a decent amount of social isolation/teasing due to his friendship with Doc, which would take a toll on confidence too. Also, I just...don't think that Marty has many friends??

When you take all the above factors, Marty's self-esteem issues make a lot of sense and, if not for Doc, would probably run a lot deeper than what we see in the trilogy. ALSO!

• Marty blaming himself for Doc getting hit by lightning in the DeLorean: I've seen a few people comment on this and how they think it's ridiculous that Marty felt guilty but...it's always made a lot of sense to me, actually. No, Marty didn't cause the lightning, but he did set off the chain of events that led to Doc being there at that moment. If he'd had the inner strength/self-control to walk away from Biff outside of the dance, he could have just joined Doc on the roof with the almanac and they'd have been on their merry way. And even if Biff had continued to challenge him, or even followed him, Marty likely could have created a diversion or gotten an adult at the dance to help and still made it up to the roof before the worst of the storm hit. But because he couldn't stand being called a chicken, he ended up taking a door to the face, had the book stolen back, and had to go on that little side adventure to retrieve it, which led to Doc needing to save him. So yeah, I'm actually team Marty on this one. His choice did lead to Doc being catapulted into the Old West, lol. I'd have been consumed with guilt too.

• The Chicken Thing: I'm not going to go into too much detail (HA!) because this is already ridiculously long, but I will say that I don't go by the more popular headcanon that says Marty's sudden inability to handle being challenged is due to the updated timeline taking effect and "altering" him. Essentially, that Marty growing up with a confident, successful father made him have higher expectations put on him, and so he was always striving to prove he could live up to them.

I actually don't think any ripples from the new timeline catch up to Marty yet during the course of the trilogy. (I tend to headcanon that as happening gradually in the coming weeks and months after he gets home). Instead, I think that Marty's inclination towards becoming feral at the words "chicken", "yellow", etc. is because of his life in his original timeline. Growing up with a jellyfish for a father, it makes sense that Marty would want to distance himself as much as possible from being associated with weakness. He'd want to prove himself that much more because everyone around him would probably think he's just like his cowardly old man.

And though I know it's not really possible (because they weren't planning on a 2nd or 3rd movie), I think a case can be made that there's a glimpse of the "chicken thing" in the first movie, in the scene of Marty and Lorraine in the car at the dance. I mean, he gets all upset and tells her not to drink, but then she calls him a square, uses the classic peer-pressure tactic of, everyone's doing it, and he caves instantly and takes a swig. Could be because he doesn't want to be thought of as a square, or could be because he's desperate to calm his nerves a bit. Either way, Marty doesn't seem to fare too well when challenged or put under pressure, so I lump this scene in as a "chicken" moment.

I...need to stop. I set out to write a quick response to this. Like, a paragraph or two. But this question activated Hyperfocus Mode, and I blinked and now it's 2 hours after I started and I have AN ESSAY.

Thanks for the ask! *goes to lie down*

#back to the future #bttf #marty mcfly #asks #nikki rambles #nikki be quiet challenge #🤐#though...at this point you all know what you're getting into when you ask my thoughts or analysis #so I suppose you want responses like this??#idk i'm always a little worried i'm going on too much and am annoying everybody #so i hid it under a cut so you can scroll past if you want lol

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amphibious-entity · 3 years

Text

TMBS Book 1 Brain Dump

~An Embarrassingly Long Post~

I don’t know why I’m writing this or why I’m so determined to do it. Maybe to finally assume my true form and become a mega dork on main, or maybe just for fun!

This is basically a compilation of all the main points running through my head after reading The Mysterious Benedict Society (2007) for the first time. Rather than posting a ton and spamming the tag, everything’s here in one neat package! (hopefully this gets it all out of my system rip)

Contents:

The Book Itself

The Book Itself, for real this time

The Characters

A Funny Parallel

The S.Q. Section

Lines & Scenes I Liked

Spoilers abound!

The Book Itself

Upon acquiring the first three books (don’t judge me pls), I was surprised at just how long they are. Like, they’re still pretty light being paperbacks and all, but these books are hefty lads.

The first book has this Disney+ Original Series circle thing printed on it, which is kind of unfortunate. Regardless, I love the cover illustration and yellow is actually my favorite color :D It made me weirdly quite happy whenever I saw the book lying around in my room

Also, it’s really cute how there’s a letter from Mr. Benedict at the end! (It only reveals that you can find out his first name if you “know the code”, meaning the bit of Morse printed below the summary on the back.) Shock and horror, though, as I realized I’m starting to recognize some of the letters

The Book Itself, for real this time

It’s wonderful how the tone of the book really shone through to the show adaptation. Something about the deliberateness of the aesthetic, from the set designs to the fashion to scene compositions, that really sells that particular style— like it’s very clear that this story is being told to us, rather than one we’re seeing unfold, if that makes sense.

Where that narration style stood out to me the most was the first chapter. We are told (rather than shown) how Reynie gets himself to the point of the second test, and there’s this whole twisty time maneuver for that whole sequence of events that’s really interesting

A super secret fun fact about me is that I wanted to be a writer when I was younger! So this particular balance of show vs. tell is really neat, since it runs counter to my own tendencies. The sheer amount of commas in every sentence is also kind of comforting, since Ahah, I Do That in those few serious-ish attempts at writing lol

Overall this book’s style reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl’s books, which are very nostalgic for me :D The whole “kids are more competent than adults” angle helps a lot too haha

The Characters

Oh boy here’s where I get a little bit critical! Overall I did really like this book!! it’s just that that expresses itself in all this weird “”analysis”” lol

Reynie - much better in the books than in the show

It’s sort of a lukewarm take but I feel like show!Reynie is kind of boring? He doesn’t have a lot going on flaw-wise, and obviously since he’s the protagonist he can’t have too many weird traits or else the kids watching can’t project themselves onto him as easily

(I call it the difference between an aspirational protagonist and a vessel protagonist. Going off of the Roald Dahl vibes, think Matilda vs Charlie. show!Reynie is more of a Charlie)

Thus when we get to see him really struggle with the Whisperer and doubt himself it gives him a lot more dimension, at least in my opinion

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

Sticky - my son

I’ve long held to no one besides myself and my long suffering sister that Sticky is The Best Member of the Society

He happened to hit a lot of the Bingo squares of Stuff I Like In Characters: glasses, anxious, nice :), kind of a coward but ultimately is there for his friends, etc

For some reason I don’t talk about him nearly as much as you-know-who, but I love him just as dearly

Kate & Constance - I don’t have much to say

Kate is really interesting in this book! I like how we get to see more of her depths, in particular that one passage about her belief that she is invincible being the only thing that keeps her from falling apart? :c

Also her constant fidgeting is relatable lol

Constance is somehow a lot more tolerable in the book. I think I’m just one of those people with no patience for small children, unfortunately lol

(Some of) The Adults

It’s interesting that they had such an offscreen presence for most of the book. Giving them more time was probably one of the stronger changes of the show

However if that decision was made at the expense of the white knight scenes I think the choice should have been clear

I like the way Rhonda and Number Two are written

Milligan always on sad boy hours 😔✊

The “mill again” passage is touching but kind of messes up the pacing of the getaway, at least for me. Maybe I should read it again to make sure I didn’t miss something

Miss Perumal is much better in the show. We see so little of her in the book she doesn’t function well as an emotional anchor for Reynie, imo

The Institute Gang

Jackson and Jillson serve their purpose well, and Martina was surprising to say the least. I like the direction they took her in the show! I can’t imagine how funny it must have been to watch the tetherball subplot come out of nowhere lolol

These sections were written out of sequence, so random tidbit I couldn’t fit in The S.Q. Section: I like how he stumbles over his words. relatable

Mr. Curtain

While I think I know why they decided to not give Curtain the wheelchair in the show, we were totally robbed of Actor Tony Hale’s performance for the reveal during the final confrontation

Speaking of the wheelchair, it’s such a powerful symbol of his need for control or rather, his fear of losing it

The Contrast between him and Mr. Benedict. This point is expanded on in A Funny Parallel

Mr. Benedict

Oh boy, Mr. Benedict… How do I say this

I find it hard to trust Mr. Benedict, unfortunately

I mean to say, I do in the sense that I know he would never hurt the kids, thanks to knowing that a) this is a children’s book series and b) the meta (tumblr) states that he is really nice and lovable and stuff, but seriously. Why do the kids trust him at first?? I probably missed something somewhere

I like to think I’m an optimistic person, but unfortunately I’m also super paranoid. The premise of “a bunch of vulnerable orphans team up with a strange old man” is just so odd to me I don’t know how to explain it

I don’t know!!! I really want to trust Mr. Benedict

One of the strengths of the show is that we get to see him more often, and thus he gets to acknowledge more often that the plan is weird and that he feels really badly for putting the kids in danger and that he’s trustworthy and genuine

But his lack of presence for most of the book just makes him into something of a specter, invisible and unknowable, speaking only in riddles from across the bay

Which is why the white knight scene is so important!! I loved that scene ;-;

Because here’s an actual emotional connection! We can actually see it happening, rather than only being told that it exists

Reynie asking for advice and receiving encouragement, in words that demonstrate that Mr. Benedict actually cares about him and worries about him and agghh

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

But overall this whole issue didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the book at all! It’s just ->

A Funny Parallel

Okay, ready for my biggest brain, hottest take ever??

Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain…. are… the same

I mean obviously not entirely, given that one is benevolent and kind and the other is… Mr. Curtain

But seriously. Genius old man seeks out children (mainly orphans) to enact a plan. Said children often end up incredibly devoted to his cause and deeply admire him this is a little flimsy

Undoubtedly that’s intentional and is supposed to show the difference between them, like some kind of cautionary tale? “Let yourself be vulnerable and let others help you, lest you turn eeeeviiillll”

I guess that’s where the aforementioned epic contrast comes in. You get Mr. Curtain, strapped into his wheelchair and hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses, terrified (but unwilling to admit it) of ever showing the tiniest hint of vulnerability, vs. Mr. Benedict, who can let himself fall knowing that someone will catch him :’)

Anyhow I have nothing against the parallels, I just think it’s funny

The S.Q. Section

The S.Q. Quarantine Thread so it doesn’t leak out everywhere else <3

I’d like to meet the emo angstlord genius who read this book and decided to make SQ into Dr. Curtain’s son. What in the world

Okay I should probably preface this by saying that I absolutely adore both book!S.Q. and show!SQ with all my heart. Somehow, despite being a completely different character in both mediums, he has managed to be one of the best characters in either and certainly one of my favorites (besides Sticky of course) in the entire franchise, despite the fact that I’ve only read the first book/watched the show so far. I am confident in this statement.

But seriously! How?? Why?? I could probably write a whole other essay about why show!SQ is such an interesting character, and the change works so incredibly well. I’m just. Baffled

Okay, focus. book!S.Q. is such a sweetheart, oh my goodness. Like, 100% one of the most endearing characters in the book. Poor guy. I don’t even know where to start!!

He just seems to be a genuinely good guy at heart, despite being technically one of the bad guys. He’s genuinely happy for Reynie and Sticky when they became Messengers and helped Kate when she “fell” and was concerned about Constance when she looked sick and how he was in that meeting with Mr. Curtain and Martina?!!? aaahhhhghgh ;-; he just wants people to be happy TT-TT

Comparing him against literally every character at the Institute is probably what makes him so endearing tbh. When everyone else is so awful to the kids, it really makes him stand out. Like a cheerful little nightlight in the worst, most humid and rank bathroom you’ve ever been in

It’s kind of pointless to theorize about a book series that’s already concluded (I think?) but. Is the implication of S.Q.’s forgetfulness supposed to be that Mr. Curtain used him in brainsweeping experiments somehow? The timeline probably definitely absolutely doesn’t line up but like. How did he get to being a Messenger being the way he is now, given how cutthroat the process is? And then of course Mr. Curtain keeps him around as an Executive because he’s fun to mess with and presumably his loyalty. I’m very curious as to how their relationship develops in the other books, if at all. Those are probably where the seeds of the “let’s make them family” logic were planted

But wouldn’t it be hilarious if the reason we don’t know what “S.Q.” stands for in the books is that he just. Forgot

Another thing that occurred to me. Given that he and the other Executives were Messengers at some point, what were their worst fears? What is S.Q.’s worst fear?? Inquiring minds need to know

One last horrible little anecdote: I was thinking about book!S.Q. while eating breakfast, as one does, and suddenly it hit me.

I want to believe The Author Trenton Lee Stewart had the name for a character, S.Q. Pedalian, and was like, “Hm! What sort of quirky trait should this young fellow have?” Because, of course, in this style of fiction every character has to have at least one cartoonish or otherwise distinguishing trait to stand out in the minds of children. (For instance, Kate has her bucket, Sticky has his glasses, Constance is angry, and Reynie is Emmett from the Lego Movie)

Anyhow, he looks around the room, searching for inspiration. Suddenly he comes across a jumbo box of plastic wrap. Completely innocuous in design, save for one line of text. 300 SQ FT.

“…large… S.Q. …feet? THAT’S IT!” i’m sorry

Lines & Scenes I Liked

In no particular order!

Sticky quotes Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Evil combination aerobics/square dancing in the gym with the Executives

Everyone being happy at the end :’)

Everyone partying after Sticky reunites with his parents, and later finding Mr. Benedict asleep at his desk from the moment they shook hands :’’)

Literally any scene with Sticky in it

Any time Kate says “you boys” or “gosh”

[“Um, sir?” S.Q. said timidly, raising his hand. “A thought just occurred to me.” / Mr. Curtain raised his eyebrows. “That’s remarkable, S.Q. What is it?”] clown prince of my heart </3

S.Q.’s determined monologue about searching for clues after he bungled up the first time

Literally any scene with S.Q. in it (please refer to The S.Q. Section)

Reynie trying to resist the Whisperer.

[Let us begin. / First let me polish my spectacles, Reynie thought. / Let us begin. / Not without my bucket, Reynie insisted. He heard Mr. Curtain muttering behind him. / Let us begin, let us begin, let us begin. / Rules and schools are tools for fools, Reynie thought.]

NO MORE HURTIN’ WITH CURTAIN

Milligan showing up on the island!!

Remember the white knight hhhhhh

“controle”

A Super Secret Bonus Section

I would be extremely surprised if anyone read through all the way down here lol. Regardless, here’s a little acknowledgements section :D not tagging anyone since I don’t want to bother all of these people

Special shoutout to tumblr blog stonetowns for unknowingly yet singlehandedly demolishing my reluctance to read the books by posting a ton of cute quotes. Thank you for your service o7

Thanks to the two OGs that liked the post I made right before this one, for being my unwitting enablers and for sticking around despite being a) technically an internet stranger (hello!) and b) someone I haven’t spoken to irl in literal years (hey!!)

Last but not least thankz 2 my sister for putting up with me ranting about the book when I first got it and for asking about “CQ” sometimes lol. (i desperately hope you’re not reading this orz)

#the mysterious benedict society #this took me like three days to finish rip #it’s worked though! i feel less of a Mighty Need to think about this stuff constantly now #however!!! today through some conniving i have gotten the Second Book #now I’m at 3 out of 4 infinity stones. muahahaha #was going to include my villain origin story about why i like show!SQ so much but cut it for being too long and irrelevant. however #if the words jeff naomi and Sweet Dreams are Made of These mean anything to you please hit me up. it’s kind of a funny story

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the-seas-song · 3 years

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Richard Armitage and Astrology

Hi! I find astrology fascinating, and am an armchair expert on it myself, so I found Richard's comments in his recent Total Film Magazine interview very interesting. This is what he said:

I’ve been incredibly lucky. I’ve dabbled with having my celestial chart looked at every couple of years, just for a little tune-up. Every time, the guy sighs, and goes, “What can I say? You’ve just got a sprinkle of luck.” And I say, “That’s good, because I don’t have the talent, so I really need the luck!”

[cut]

There is a naughty, dark side to me. I am quite strongly affected by the moon. So if there’s a full moon I’ll go a bit crazy. (source)

This isn't the first time Richard's mentioned astrology �� he's mentioned being a Leo, reading his daily horoscope, and finding out he was born in the Chinese Year of the Pig; but these were all informal twitter comments. He has also mentioned the effect the moon has on him before, in February 2020:

“Everyone has cycles of positive mental and emotional feelings and negative mental and emotional feelings and I know that I am profoundly affected on a monthly cycle. I always look at the calendar when I'm feeling particularly low and check the lunar cycle to see if it's a full or new moon.” (source)

However, what prompted me to write this is that Richard's personal put-downs were even more direct here than usual; and the connection that has to his natal, or birth, chart.

A little disclaimer: Personally, I think general horoscopes (like the ones you find in magazines) do far more harm than good. They are based solely on the twelve sun signs, and your sun sign is just one puzzle piece out of 25+ pieces that make up your natal chart. This is why many people don't relate to their horoscope or it's personality description.

Your natal chart, however, is a whole different animal. It's an intricate puzzle created by the exact date, time, and location you were born; which is why most people find their natal charts to be scarily accurate.

Back during the Hobbit days, a fan blog reported that Richard told a NZ fan that his birth time was just after 4 a.m. I used 4:05 for this post, and being off by a few minutes doesn't really make a difference.

Richard and self-esteem

I really feel for and relate to Richard's self-esteem struggles, because our charts mirror each other. We are both Leo suns; but I have my moon in Aries with my MC and Chiron conjunct each other in Virgo and sextile my North Node; while Richard has his moon in Virgo with his MC and Chiron conjunct each other in Aries and sextile his North Node.

What on earth does that mean?

Each planet represents a different part of you. The sun represents your ego/conscious self; the moon your emotions, mercury your mind/intellect, venus love and beauty/aesthetics, mars passion and drive, etc.

On top of the twelve planets, there are specific points and asteroids that are also important. Your MC, or Midheaven, represents your career and public persona. Your North Node describes your inner journey and life purpose. The asteroid Chiron describes your major soul wound, that you will be forced to deal with throughout your life.

A conjunction and a sextile are two of several different kinds of aspects. The different kinds of aspects are the different ways your respective puzzle pieces can interact with each other. Some are 'easy/positive' and some 'difficult/negative'. A sextile is considered easy/positive. A conjunction means two things are next to each other and overlap with one another, and is usually considered positive.

Leo and Aries are both fire signs. Fire signs are generally playful, warm, passionate, confident, and optimistic. Virgo is an earth sign. Earth signs are generally practical, grounded, sensual, and logical.

Richard's personality is dominated by an almost equal amount of Leo and Virgo influence, with both his sun (core self) and venus (love and beauty) in Leo and his moon (emotions) and mercury (mind) in Virgo.

Aries and Virgo are said to be the most difficult Chiron signs, because they are the wounds tied directly to your self-worth (Aries is the wound of Self and Virgo is the wound of Perfection). With Aries Chiron you feel a core sense of worthlessness, like you're missing a fundamental piece of your core self. This deeply felt lack of self-worth leads people to be people pleasers and have issues with confrontation and conflict.

Aries rules the planet mars. It is the warrior planet of passion, drive, and combat. A conventional Aries is confident, outgoing, impulsive, and strong willed. Aries and mars are definitely the rowdiest sign and planet in the zodiac. However, with Chiron here the traits are inverted, and so someone like Richard is much more likely to be scared of his inner passion, confidence, and willpower – depending, of course, on what the rest of his chart is like.

That leads us to Virgo. Chiron Virgo feels impure, like there is something fundamentally wrong with them. This kind of low self-esteem makes you feel like you have to constantly try to 'fix' yourself so people will love and accept you. It's an OCD type of perfectionism that only ends in failure and heartbreak.

A good example of how this works is when I talked to my therapist recently. I hadn't quite succeeded in meeting my goals, and so my automatic response was to condemn myself for failing. My therapists immediate response was to congratulate me on how much progress I had made.

Ironically, unlike with Aries, this isn't an inversion of the conventional Virgo. Conventional Virgo is meticulous, detail-oriented, focused, patient, efficient, practical, perfectionistic, systematic, and pessimistic with high expectations. If Aries is the official warrior of the zodiac, Virgo is the official nit-picker.

This means that Richard's subconscious intellectually (mercury) and emotionally (moon) expects and demands perfection, whilst simultaneously feeling fundamentally worthless. In short: ouch.

Interestingly, a significant number of celebrities have their Chiron conjunct their MC. Personally, I think Richard hit the nail on the head as to why in his essay on the Human Condition for Cybersmile:

The answer in my humble opinion, (and believe me it is humble, to a point of taking 43 years to be shared) is actually something which applies to my work as an actor. It’s why sometimes actors are called in to work with therapists, in large corporations, in schools. It’s why drama therapy is fantastic to understand what we do, how we do it and what the outcome might be, and in an improvisation where we aren’t playing ourselves sometimes we explore avenues that are too frightening or unacceptable in our own lives.

[cut]

So going back to my very first point, the “social media society” in which we’d all like to feel safe, supported, excited, creative, spontaneous, innovative, courageous, is really in our own hands. And back to acting, it’s taken me a long time to shake off the effects of bullying in school. That people were always laughing behind my back. I was always looking out of the corner of my eye. I now have incredible peripheral vision which is so useful, (as is Kinesthetic sense…Google it) but try being a brave, experimental, uninhibited actor with all of those hang ups. Wasn’t happening.

So here is the thing, and it’s key to my work and I think ours as a community. When we speak or write, we ultimately desire to ‘affect’. If we aren’t watching the destination of that affect, then how do we know our words have landed and the ‘effect’ they have caused?

[cut]

If I have a strong opinion about something which I want to express I really task myself with backing it up with the ‘why do I feel that?’

Again it’s part of my work building a believable character, and actually part of building a believable ‘me’ outside of my work. Just.. “because that’s what I feel” is a bit of a cop out.

[cut]

As for Bullying, it’s like the moment the pot boils over, or it’s the poisoned stream that can’t be cleansed, so why bother. Well I think that’s what art is for. It’s can support the best and the worst of ourselves. We can ‘attack’ a canvas with black angry paint, we can ‘savage’ a piano keyboard, we can dance until we drop, we can read about a Puritan society who executed elders, we can explore the psychology of a serial killer, and when we can’t do this ourselves we can experience it, and witness it through others.

It’s more than being nice. Edward Munch’s “The Scream” is far from nice. Francisco Goya’s “Saturn” is horrific, Metallica, Die Antwoort etc etc. But then there is Monet, Faure, Renée Fleming, Peter Jackson, Ariana Grande (ok it’s getting a bit eclectic I admit) but when we look, listen and empathize, we tune in to the Human Condition.

We are all part of The Human Condition, whether we like it or not. Social Media. Expression. The Human Condition.

Us human beings are wired for emotion and connection. For actors, their career gives them a way to safely process and explore their personal wounds through the characters they play. For Richard in particular, his mars is conjunct his North Node. So, his mars and North Node are sextile his Chiron and MC.

Remember, Aries (the sign of Richard's Chiron and MC) is ruled by mars. Mars is the warrior planet, like Aries is the warrior sign. This means that Richard's spiritual journey/life's purpose (North Node) deals directly with healing his soul wound so he can accept and embrace his inner confidence and willpower. This explains why he ends up playing a lot of ultra-masculine characters – mars/Aries are the most macho of them all.

This isn't to say I think Richard should change who he is! I wouldn't be interested in him if he was ultra-masculine or macho. However, for his own sake, I would be overjoyed to see him gain more self-esteem and inner confidence.

Extrapolating from my own personal experiences, the constant criticism and judgement I received during my adolescence from my peers and various authority figures (like family members and teachers) for being unconventional and 'over the top' caused me to turn on myself and repress my passion and will-power for several years. I think it's highly likely that Richard experienced this too.

Here are some quotes from Richard that illustrate everything I've been talking about (emphasis is mine):

Armitage is still notably handsome, but, within minutes of meeting him, it’s apparent how incongruous it is that this bookish, sensitive, self-described ‘melancholic, philosophically-minded softie’ and ardent fan of The Great British Bake Off was cast as beefcake killer totty for a considerable part of his career. ‘It’s ridiculous. It’s the complete opposite to who I am. I’m such a pacifist,’ he laughs. ‘But then, part of me always felt: “Well, isn’t that why we’re actors?”

[cut]

'I think the turning point was losing my mum,” he says. “Up until that point, I felt like I mustn’t put a foot wrong, that if I said the wrong thing or revealed too much about my personal life, it could all come crashing down, and it would come down on my parents, and they wouldn’t be proud of me anymore.” He shrugs. “Now that I’m past that I’m actually much more carefree about the choices I make.” (source)

Richard Armitage puts his head in his hands and emits a noise that's somewhere between a sigh, a laugh and a groan. “Oh no! Why would you want to pin this up?” he says with a horrified whisper.

[cut]

Never has a man seemed more ill at ease with the heartthrob label. He squirms with embarrassment in his chair every time the subject comes up. He is grateful for the loyalty of his fans, he says, but worries that “there is this thing of, 'Is he just totty?' Because the industry will sometimes write you off as a serious actor if they think that. I have always been conscious of that and fought against it, because I don't really see myself like that at all.”

[cut]

This brings us back to Astrov, who looks so relentless towards the future that he can't see the truth in front of his eyes. “It's interesting that he's an outsider in the play. I've often felt like that myself in life. I'm quite a solitary person. I enjoy my time with me, and sometimes it's not necessarily healthy, because I can talk myself into quite a dark place.

I'm an optimist, but at the same time, there's a discipline in me that will attack me for not working hard enough, not achieving enough, not being good enough. You always think, 'I'll grow out of that. With success, those voices will disappear.' But they don't, they get louder. I suppose I'm learning a bit about myself through Astrov.” (source)

The answer in my humble opinion, (and believe me it is humble, to a point of taking 43 years to be shared) is actually something which applies to my work as an actor. … And back to acting, it’s taken me a long time to shake off the effects of bullying in school. That people were always laughing behind my back. I was always looking out of the corner of my eye. I now have incredible peripheral vision which is so useful, (as is Kinesthetic sense…Google it) but try being a brave, experimental, uninhibited actor with all of those hang ups. Wasn’t happening. (Human Condition essay)

So I kind of travelled on that line for a while, and I was bullied for it as well. The problem with me is that as soon as you try to push me down or say “you can’t do this” and “I don’t think you should do that”, I immediately push back. So I did – I’d decided really young that I was going to try to make a career out of it.

[cut]

Actually, there was something I wanted to add to what Shaun said, about inclusivity, is that um, no matter how – how much confidence you have or how, in my case, lack. Y’know, I always felt like a misfit, or an oddball, or that I didn’t belong. But I always – I always told myself that ‘you exist in the world, so therefore there’s a place for you in this industry’. I think anybody who feels like, “I can’t become an actor because…” – you exist. And, y’know, the job of filmmakers is to write about our life and society, and if you are a part of that, then there’s a place for you in the industry. (source)

I'm a bit of a brooder. I don't like confrontation, so I think I suppress things. When my temper does come out, it goes all the way – the kind of temper you can't apologize for. Yep, the chair getting thrown out of the window. Those emotions are scary, but hey, they come in useful when you're acting. (source)

Armitage is a noticeably calm presence but he talks with passion.

[cut]

In the past, he has described himself as a shy person. “Not any more,” he says forcefully. “I mean… if I’m very, very honest, I’m a big guy, I think I’m at times quite a frightening person.”

In what way?

“I think I’m quite uncompromising. I can’t bear bulls---. And in a way the shyness is me protecting other people from that. I can feel that there’s an intimidation that can happen if I own my full height, and speak at my full volume. So I’ve learned over the years to just tone it all down a bit.” (source)

I've become one of those actors who find it difficult to say no when things are offered. I think if I had come out of drama school and been an instant Hollywood superstar I would be taking long, leisurely holidays. But I always feel somehow it's going to be taken away from me so I work when I can. When you struggled with work as I did when I left drama school you make hay when the sun shines. There was a time when I thought, and my agent thought, it wasn't going to happen for me. We both sat down and I actually said I don't know if I can stay in this state. The interesting roles have only come since I got into my 30s. But I didn't know that was going to happen. I'm a bit of an all or nothing kind of guy. To be honest, I had no blind faith in myself. I don't think I could have stayed around as a jobbing actor. I would probably have quit. Who knows? I think I would have found that too frustrating. But at the moment when I thought I was going to quit, something happened and it all changed again. (source)

[talking about being cast in the Hobbit]

There was a little bit of guidance as to what they were looking for. I felt that I was too young for the character, too tall for that character, so I thought, you know, ‘I’ll just look at the scene they’ve written’. And then I realised the essence of the character that they were aiming for. So I went to meet Peter and Phillipa and we read some of the scenes. I think we spent an hour-and-a-half talking about the character and what their vision was, and I sort of explained who I thought he was, and that was it.

[cut]

Yeah, my first instinct, whenever that kind of thing happens, is to say, 'Well what's wrong with the part? Why did nobody else want it'? Which is kind of the story of my life really. When I get offered something, I'm like, 'Well there must be something wrong with it if they're offering it to me!'

[cut]

But you know, the thing is, you talk about all of this: ‘How did you get the role? And how did it feel when you got the role?’ And once all that’s died down you start to think, ‘I’ve actually got to go and play this now’. They’ve trusted me. Everyone’s happy, everyone’s celebrated, the phones have gone down and the deal’s been done. Now it’s over to me to make the role work. And that’s the scariest moment, because you do have that elation and then the work begins and you think, ‘How the hell am I going to do this?’ (source)

How was it for you taking on this beloved role, this character that has such a huge responsibilty on his back? Could you relate in some ways?

Richard Armitage: Yeah. There is always building within him this paranoia that he’s not a good enough leader, and that weighs him down. I have experienced that same feeling as an actor in this role. And I was aware of taking on the responsibility of that character, so there was something I could latch onto there, as one of the people who loved ‘The Hobbit’ book and had envisioned that character. It took me a while to be convinced that I could do it, it wasn’t until I saw some sketches, this one particular pencil sketch….there was something about this characters eyes and the way that his hands are crossed, I thought, “I think I can do this, I can pull this off.” (source)

Q: I wanted to ask you about what your Arkenstone is. For you personally.

A: Me personally?

Q: And I meant for this to be materialistic. What's the thing that you covet so much that it makes you mad that you don't have it?

A: Well, it's actually not material. It's not material, and it's – (laughs) You want a comedy answer, don't you? But it's respect. It's the thing that always eludes you, you know. You have to fight for it and when you get it, your arkenstone, the thing that crowns you, is respect.

Q: And also a sweater.

A: And a sweater. I do have this little natty number.

Q: It's a good one man.

A: Tom Ford made this personally. But hey, he can have it back. I don't covet wealth and material. (source)

Q6: You’ve done a variety of different roles, I wonder what influences you to pursue those roles?

R: More often than not, you go where you’re wanted. So getting hired is still kind of a revelation to me, a shock and a surprise. Sometimes you have very flat periods, where I don’t really care what comes next, I just want to work on something. I feel like I’ve got a little cloud of luck over my head so the right thing always seems to come along. But again, I’m easily excited about literature and stories, so I’ve always said I don’t really pursue glory, I’d happily do acting for two people in my living room if it was a role that I really enjoyed with a story I’d really like to tell. So it’s chance, I would say.

[cut]

Q8: Once in an interview about Thorin, you were asked what your arkenstone was and your answer was respect. I like this answer a lot. So I was wondering what’s your red dragon? As you said yesterday he’s a character who sheds his skin, improves, and becomes something. I was wondering if there was something you’d like to improve, become?

R: I guess the antithesis of that is disrespect. Do you mean in myself?

Q8: Yes.

R: Yeah I try not to be too disrespectful. I guess I value the truth. I think we’re living at a time at the moment where the truth is warped and there’s a word that’s been in my head for a long time, and particularly recently it’s come to the surface. When I was studying Macbeth, at the RSC, I read a long thesis about the gunpowder plot, which was one of the things they thought that Shakespeare (or whoever Shakespeare was) was stimulated by to write Macbeth. And the word equivocation was used in this thesis, it was actually about equivocation and what equivocation is. And if you look it up in the dictionary, at the moment most politicians are equivocating. When you don’t answer a question, or you bend the truth to make it seem like you are answering the question, and in fact you’re telling a lie. So I would say my red dragon would be equivocation.

[cut]

Then there was the physical form that I was studying and observing, but also, I do sometimes enjoy locking myself away in a room and reading a book or just doing something alone, and you sometimes can go a couple of days without speaking to anybody. I don’t know whether anyone else experiences this or whether I’m just a weirdo. But I find that when that happens my voice changes, and I always forget how to make a noise, I have to do a warm-up before I go into the world and start speaking again.

[cut]

Q15: I was wondering if you ever had to pull out of a project because it felt wrong or something, and what is the point where you say “nope I can’t do this”?

R: Um, no. But that’s partly to do with the fact that I have a lot of loyalty, probably too much loyalty for my own good, really, and there’ve been moment when I’ve been on board a project, and actually it happened this year with The Lodge, I was already on board that project and something else came along which was bigger and better and brighter and more money, and your agent says “look we can pull you out of The Lodge, they can probably recast it,” and here I think “I’ve already started this process, I don’t want to let people down,” and I don’t have a problem with that at all, I never have any regrets over the things that you miss or the things that you decide not to do, I think there’s a strong enough reason why you’ve decided not to do it, but in general no I haven’t ever pulled out of something. There was one television show I remember, I’m not going to say what it is, but after the first readthrough, I did call my agent and asked, “can I get out of this?” And then he quickly got back to me and said, “don’t do it. Don’t build a reputation built on disloyalty.” So I try not to.

[cut]

Q18: I think you are very handsome, but your character Francis hated the way he looked, how did that make you feel?

R: Francis hated the way he looked? Yeah. I guess there is something we relate to in that. Without getting too personal, I don’t always enjoy looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t do it very often, to be honest. I do it just to be sure I don’t have food on my face. I do it in character, actually. I do spend a bit of time studying my own face when I’m playing a character, which is interesting because your face does change. (source)

He cannot see the handsomeness: “I think I am odd-looking. I have big lines on my forehead.” I squint, looking for them, but he is talking over me, sounding slightly panicked. “I shouldn’t draw attention to it, because then everyone else will see the oddness.”

[cut]

Laziness is what makes him angry: “Laziness in myself. Laziness in other people. And dishonesty. All things I feel capable of myself. I have a propensity to be lazy and lie about it. Fear makes me rageful. There are words in The Crucible I actually find it quite hard to say.” I beg for an example — The Crucible is in the public domain. “No,” he says, “you’ll see it in the play.” I tell him it will make no sense in print if he will not tell me. But he won’t. So I change the subject. It works. “OK, I will give you a line.” He inflates a little and says: “Is there no good penitence but it be public?” And then: “Were I stone I would have cracked for shame this seven month.” (source)

Q: How would you describe your evolution as an actor since you started?

A: I think everything has to do with the fact that today I’m not afraid anymore. At first, I was embarrassed to do something wrong or do things badly or make myself ridiculous. Today, I am almost looking for opportunities to be ridiculous or vulnerable or to make as much of a mistake as possible. In a sense, it’s now the opposite of being undercover.

Q: Are you the actor you dreamed of being when you started?

A: Not yet. I am not yet fearless enough. It’s in waves, actually. But I have already approached this dream. There were moments, especially during Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, which I performed on stage, where I felt I had no control over things. That’s what I’m looking for: to lose control.

Q: You often play bad guys. What do you like in these characters?

A: I like disobedience. I like the fact that you can be disobedient thanks to your creativity. As a person, I must always be polite in life, be careful and correct so as not to hurt anyone. In a fantasy world, I can be as offensive as I want. It’s an outlet. (Laughter)

[cut]

Q: Many actors are moving to directing. Is this also your goal?

A: I would like to, but I do not think I’m smart enough. I am good when it comes to working with another’s vision. I do not think I have that creative spontaneity that creates a vision from scratch. But the future will tell. (source)

I applaud Richard for being so open and direct about his fears and insecurities. It takes a lot of bravery to do so. And while I've seen some fans get annoyed with his continual self-deprecation, I think his honesty and openness is much more significant, and shows his inner strength. He doesn't try to pretend to be someone he's not.

He recently described himself as “patient, obsessive, and silly” (source). The patient part is classic Virgo, and the obsessive part comes from an element of his natal chart that I have not mentioned.

The silly part, however, is classic Leo. Like I said above, he has an almost equal amount of Leo and Virgo in his personality. Personally, I'm proud to be a Leo, but I also know we get misunderstood a lot of the time. I wrote the following for an essay of mine on Leos in Disney:

Your sun sign represents your core identity. Just like the physical sun is the center of the solar system and its energy creates life, the astrological sun is our consciousness and life force. Each of the twelve sun signs are ruled by a different planet and element.

Since Leo is the fixed fire sign, we don't inherit the reckless and impulsive nature of fire, but instead are a steady flame. No sign is more reckless and impulsive than Aries, because they have the double combination of being a cardinal sign and a fire sign. Meanwhile, all four of the fixed signs struggle with stubbornness and admitting when their wrong.

Leo's are well known to be natural leaders and the rulers of the zodiac. We are ruled by the sun and our animal is the lion. We dream big and are born with big personalities, and we can't help but be theatrical and dramatic. This means we are always self-centered in the sense of being strong-willed and having a strong sense of self. It does not mean all Leos are egotistical.

Unhealthy Leo traits all revolve around the ego: attention-seeking, egotistical, selfish, bossy, controlling, pushy, jealous, possessive, lazy, vain, arrogant, aggressive, and obstinate.

Healthy Leos, however, are known for our fire-based traits – being animated, theatrical, happy, outgoing, independent, competitive, charismatic, creative, open-minded, open-hearted, confident, assertive, playful, warm, social, courageous, idealistic, affectionate, romantic, optimistic, and adventurous.

What isn't often talked about is our steadiness, our fixed-based traits. Leos are authentic, steadfast, fiercely loyal and protective, consistent, persistent, full-hearted, dedicated, need to do their best, generous and selfless, honorable and moral, genuine and direct, extremely supportive, hard-working and responsible, dignified, strong-willed, and ambitious and determined.

Something that is often mentioned but highly misunderstood is our trait of courage. Having courage doesn't mean you're fearless or reckless. The definition of courage is “the power or quality of dealing with or facing danger, fear, pain, etc.” It means that instead of running away from our problems or denying our emotions; healthy Leos face them and be genuine and direct with ourselves, embracing our vulnerability.

Having a big personality doesn't necessarily mean someone has a big ego. C.S. Lewis once said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.” Leos have huge hearts and are incredibly generous. The sun never goes retrograde, always shines, and gives life and energy to all living beings – it isn't selective or discriminatory. Healthy Leos are like mini suns; which is why we are also irrepressibly upbeat, optimistic, and fun-loving.

We're not pushovers. We are like roses – we have both flower petals and thorns. If you mess with someone we love you're going down. We're too loyal and protective to let major things slide; and even if we forgive, we never forget. Little things? We'll try to work them out with you.

Being naturally strong-willed and assertive is healthy – it just means we usually make horrible subordinates and yes people. There's nothing wrong with having high standards and being open about them. In fact, in relationships it's far better in the long run to open and frank about what you need and what you consider a dealbreaker from the beginning.

And oh yes are we ambitious and competitive – but most often with ourselves. We're natural leaders who always dream and think big. For a healthy Leo it's not about being the best, but doing your best. We have to be grand and intense, we're ruled by the sun. It's all or nothing for us. Settling is not something a Leo does. We need to be the best leader, the best friend, the best partner, etc. that we possibly can.

Also, in astrology each sign rules a different body part, and Leo rules the heart and upper back.

Adding to this, Leos are known as the Kings/Queens of the zodiac not because we're egotistical, but because our sun sign is the sun. It's like a double amount sun. I could go into significantly more detail about this, but it involves a lot of technical astrological details; so if anyone wants to know more just message me!

Going back to Richard, having his core self (sun) and love/beauty (venus) in Leo explains why he is an actor and artist; and why he is often warm, silly, and dramatic when he feels comfortable – his long interview with The Anglophile Channel (and it's deleted scenes) does a great job of showing the synergy between his Leo and Virgo sides.

We see Richard express the heartfelt, generous, sincere, and honorable side of Leo all the time. This is why I'm sure he has the inner-confidence and strength hidden within him to overcome the deep pain his Chiron causes him (like it does to us all). I hope he continues to find projects and people that help him on his journey to heal.

Thank you for reading this, I'm wishing him and you all the best. Take care!

#Richard #Richard Armitage #Astrology #Mine

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loving-daisy · 3 years

Text

Cry For Me | George Weasley x Reader

Masterlist | Cry For Me Masterlist

Chapter 4 - Little by Little I Fall For You

Words: 7.1K

Warnings: nosebleed, mentions of blood, scheming, pranking, angst, and fluff

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Love makes my mind give way.

“Damn Icestone. I knew you were smart but I didn’t know you were a genius at potions! That’s why you don’t write down on your parchment whenever Snape blabbers about his potions...you’re basically a master too!” George complimented.

The controversial human relations of Y/N Icestone hanging out with a Gryffindor, especially a Weasley, grew even more after the party held 3 weeks ago. After the stunt George pulled, the unfolded events were spread like wildfire. Rumor has it that George Weasley fancies Y/N Icestone. Apparently, Slytherin queen Y/N Icestone fancies him back.

Not an ounce did the Slytherin gave a damn to the nosey people chasing after her tail. However, somehow she was relieved. Because the event caused the couple to hang around more frequently. After George’s sudden confession, nothing really changed in their relationship. They remained as friends.

Except they were friends who walked each other in classes as they slightly brushed their hands against the other, friends who gave forehead and cheek kisses as a quick goodbye, and friends who stole glances at each other across the great hall. Yeah. Friends.

George and Y/N were currently seated inside the library, the ginger actually convincing Icestone to tutor him for their upcoming O.W.L.S. To be really honest, it's not like George had convincing to do. Y/N would have agreed anyways.

But what the Slytherin didn’t expect was to catch the Gryffindor alone. And early! The Weasley twins never parted. They were always attached at the hip! However, somehow Y/N felt giddy that she gets to spend some hours alone with George.

The Slytherin huffed to calm her rapid heartbeat so as to not make heat rise up her cheeks from the Gryffindor’s flattery. “What are you talking about?” She snapped.

George rested an elbow on their shared desk, his chin settling down on his palm as he gave the girl an astonishing look. “How ‘bout replacing Snape in the next few years, love?”

Y/N shrugged, turning her attention back to the open book to avoid getting lost at the boy's eyes. “I’ll consider. I do love potions afterall.”

George’s ear’s spiked up at the statement. He was really interested in knowing more about Y/N Icestone but he was having a hard time because she doesn’t really let people in. She was more of a listener. Whenever the two hang out, it’s always George who tries to keep the conversation going. He’d ask questions, get answers, but then the topic always comes back to him like a boomerang. “Well, then what do you plan after Hogwarts? Are you gonna enter the ministry? Be a healer? What’s your plan, Icestone?”

The Slytherin gave the boy a glare. “I mean, Y/N?”

Y/N places her quill down, turning on her sides to rest her elbow on the desk, mirroring George’s position. Humming as she had her eyes at the ceiling, briefly thinking about an answer to the question.

“Ministry? Nope. Healer? Sounds...interesting. Like I said, I really do love potions. Maybe a job that revolves around potions?” She suggested rather to herself before sighing in defeat.

”I’m not sure, George. My parents want to marry me into a family as soon as I get out of here.” She reasoned.

George rolled his eyes, the hand that had his chin rested being retrieved to slap the desk annoyingly which caused Madam Pince to give him a glare. George gave her a slight bow as an apology before ranting to Y/N in a more toned down voice. “Honestly, what is with Slytherins treating Hogwarts like a mating area? Marriage? We’re just teenagers!”

“I know!” Y/N exclaimed.

The ginger scoffed, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms against his chest. “I’m gonna make sure that my children get to do whatever they want when they grow up. Marry, go enter the ministry, work at Gringotts, anything their heart desires!” He confidently proclaimed, making the Slytherin spat a quiet and short giggle.

George immediately felt his pulse run faster with the sound. He froze in place, staring at the girl in front of him. Y/N noticed the sudden tension in their bubble, however, challenging the boy’s stare as her own darted at his. Their atmosphere became quiet. Quiet but not awkward. It was more like a comfortable silence. Just a Slytherin and a Gryffindor staring at the window’s of each other’s soul, trying to find ways to enter and be mates. Soulmates.

A few moments after their little staring contest, Y/N decided to break the bubble by whispering a question of her own. “How ‘bout you, George? What do you plan after Hogwarts?”

“Marry you.” George replied, not breaking his intense stare.

Y/N felt the familiar heat rising in her cheeks which made her feel a little embarrassed. For the nth time today, her heart was beating rapidly, intense like the sound of the drums whenever there was a quidditch world cup. Trying to hide her flustered self, she spat a demanding “What?!” earning a small laugh from the boy in front of her.

“Are you blushing?” He teased, a smirk plastered on his face as he pointed a finger at the girl’s face. “I just made your heart flutter didn’t I?”

The girl scoffed, rolling her eyes. “No. You’re really mad. It’s just the cold.” She reasoned. It was now the turn of the ginger to roll his eyes before getting ahold of the knitted material resting on his neck, unwrapping the soft scarf, and gently snaking it around Y/N’s neck, tucking her in.

The beating of the Slytherin’s heart went allegro. Heat crawling up her neck, to her cheeks, and to all over her face. Only this time, she failed to cover it up.

George had a finger raised, pointing at the girl’s face, still a teasing smirk plastered across his face. “You’re even redder than before. Don’t tell me it's the cold. You like me~” He sang, earning him a smack on the arm and a glaring Y/N Icestone.

“Shut up!” The girl demanded.

The boy huffed, decreasing the gap between their faces before muttering “Make me.”

Y/N decreased the gap even more causing their foreheads to touch. The couples face being inches away from meeting, the ginger feeling the girl’s hot breath against his which caused him to pull himself away and turn as red as his hair. “O-okay! Chill down Icestone!” He stuttered, feeling heat all over his body as the girl in front of him began stifling a laugh.

George groaned, crossing his arms against his chest as he huffed. Meanwhile, Y/N gave her head a small shake before turning her attention back to the essay that she was writing, a small smile on her lips as she read through her notes before jolting some sentences down her unrolled piece of expensive parchment. George just stared at the girl in front of him, his small pout being replaced by a grin as his thoughts consumed him.

If he was to go back in time and tell his 3-months-ago-self that he would be sitting with Slytherin’s pride and joy, Slytherin’s queen, the Icestone heir, the girl who often gave ice-cold glares to people who blocks her ways, and the girl who turned him and his twin little ginger kittens because of a miscalculated prank, he would probably think that he was mad. Not once did he ever think of hanging around with Y/N Icestone. Not once did he ever think of being friends with Y/N Icestone. Not once did he even ever think of developing feelings for Y/N Icestone.

George, however mentally scoffed at the last thought. If he was being honest, the task given to him by Fred keeps on slipping his mind as time goes by. He constantly had to remind himself that what he and Y/N have are not truly genuine. That he was just playing this little prank and Y/N must have been playing something on him too. I mean, a Slytherin couldn’t possibly think that a Gryffindor is worthy of their friendship, right? At Least that’s what he tried to convince himself. A game, George. A game. None of this is real.

“A joke shop.” He suddenly blurted out.

Y/N’s ears perked up at the small and random statement. Scribbling the last words of her generated sentence before turning her attention back at the ginger. “What?” She questions, confused written all over her face.

“Earlier, you asked me what I’m planning to do after Hogwarts. A joke shop. Me and Fred are planning to start a Joke shop.” He repeated, suddenly getting embarrassed at his confession which caused him to scratch the back of his head before turning to his still empty parchment.

With the girl still amused at the ginger’s answer, she was speechless. I mean, she didn’t expect George to go beyond the box. She knew that Fred and George were huge pranksters but she didn’t know that this was how serious they both were with it. She was stunned. She wouldn’t say it out loud, but the Weasley twins have just earned her respect. However, far inside the back of her head, she was jealous. The twins had freedom. They could do whatever they want. She, however, had to reach her family’s expectations.

On the other hand, George felt Y/N’s silence suffocating. Merlin, she might think it’s stupid. I mean, she said she wanted to have a career centered around in potions. I want to have a joke shop. What a joke, I am. “It’s stupid, I know but —“

Y/N quickly brushed her thoughts away, moving in her seat as she placed a hand at the back of George’s neck, pulling him before slamming her lips against his.

Before George was able to return the force, the Slytherin pulled away, retrieving her hand back and staring at the boy with narrowed eyes. “What was that for?!” George asked, stunned.

“To make you shut up.” George’s face went as red as a tomato, however, still confused by Y/N’s reaction towards his chosen career path.

The girl glowed a big grin, pointing at the boy’s face like he did to her earlier, deciding to tease him. “Now look who’s blushing.”

The Gryffindor let out a forced cough, swatting the Slytherin’s hand away from his face. “Shut up!”

Y/N stifled a small laugh at George’s reaction, thinking that it was actually funny to do the teasing. So this was what George felt when he was teasing me. She thought.

Finally getting back to her more composed self, she stared at the pouting boy gently, her eyes like a doe, innocent and genuine. “That’s amazing, George.” She complimented, making George sit up straight and have a shocked look on his face.

“Really?!”

“Really.”

George grinned so wide that his teeth could blind a passerby. “So is this some sort of approval that you’re going to support me and Fred’s joke shop?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Y/N asked, an eyebrow raised towards George for the what she thinks is a stupid question.

“Because it’s stupid?” George suggested, causing Y/N’s raised brows to furrow as she crossed her arms against her chest, ready to give him a small lecture.

“Shut up, George! It’s not stupid! If you’re really passionate about running that shop, then go for it! If it’s your dream, reach for it! Run for it and don’t stop until you get there!” She demanded.

“But people say-“

“Who cares what people think, George? Are you really going to let other people’s opinion define who you are? Who you want to be? Don’t listen to them. Do whatever you want. Just ignore and go on your own way.”

After Y/N’s little words of wisdom and affirmation, George was left speechless, completely melting from the girl’s words. George was amazed. He was glad and giddy. After numerous times of sharing his career choice to his friends, not once did he ever receive a reaction like Y/N’s. His friends would laugh it off, thinking that it was probably going to change once the twin’s reach their seventh year. His friends didn’t take him seriously. Even his own mom couldn’t believe him!

“Wow.” George mused. Y/N looked at him, her head tilting as she examined his face. “What’s wrong?”

“I think I just fell in love with you.”

____________________

Fred was seated on top of his bed, rolls of parchment on his left and a box of different sweets on his right. He was monitoring him and George’s products, evaluating on which one they should release next.

Noticing that his twin wasn’t on his own bed, he looked around the room, rolling his eyes and forcing a rather loud cough when he saw George about to grab the handle of the door. George, failing to escape quietly, faced his twin, a guilty and apologetic smile plastered around his freckled face. “Hey...Freddie. You seemed busy so I didn’t really want to disturb you…” George reasoned, earning a scoff from Fred.

The older twin dropped the parchment he was examining to cross his arms, raising a brow towards the younger twin. “George. Piece of advice, you shouldn’t be snogging someone else if we are to go on with our plan against the ice queen.”

“Snogging? I’m not snogging anyone.” George denied, both hands in front of him as he held out all five fingers, as a sign of defense.

Fred rolled his eyes once again, clearly not believing George. “Oh yeah? Well then where were you last night? And the other night? And the other night too!”

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” The older twin repeated before giving a scoff. “I’m not stupid, George. At least not THAT stupid to not notice how you have been sneaking around at night. And without telling me! Your own twin brother.” He exclaimed before placing his hands against his heart to feign an offended look, “You pain me, brother. What happened to telling each other secrets?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Fred’s hands travelled down his hips, a brow raising once again. “Playing hard to get, ey? What secret of yours should I reveal to the whole school right now? That one time when we were 5 and you accidentally-“

“Okay fine! But I was not snogging anyone. In fact, I was with Icestone. At the astronomy tower.” George confessed, a hand rubbing the back of his head, slightly embarrassed for revealing his and Icestone’s midnight escapades.

“Perfect!” Fred beamed. “I don’t know why you haven’t been updating me with our scheme when we’re a team...I really had to hear most of the stuff from the school gossip but it’s good to know that we’re still right on track!”

____________________

“Nosebleed nougat?” Y/N questioned the ginger in front of her.

A few nights after George’s reveal of his career choice to Y/N, the Slytherin wanted to get involved as an observer. She thought that the bewitched letters that spit water at the receiver was brilliant but she knew how it worked as she was able to bewitch hers into something that throws pie at the face. She did, however, wanted to see more, as the Weasley twins were really popular for their products. Therefore, she found herself in the room of requirement with George, who had a simmering cauldron in front of him.

“Yeah! Me and Fred's latest product. Only, I still don’t know how I’m supposed to make this. You see, Fred is more of the....plan generator. I am in charge of the execution. He’s the mastermind and I’m the...whatever you call it.” George explained.

“You’re the executioner.” Y/N suggested, earning a snort from George. “It makes it sound like I’m the one who’s going to punish a bad person.” Realizing this, Y/N started laughing, which George found infectious that made him laugh too.

____________________

“George, I got it! You have to crush the peppermint! Not put one whole but crush it to bits and pieces and sprinkle it around the potion!” Y/N exclaimed, quickly grabbing a peppermint and crushing it using a mortar and pestle.

A few minutes after watching George scrunch up his nose and think in his ginger head hardly on how to create the product, Y/N felt suffocated. It was painful to watch George casually throw ingredients into the cauldron without much thinking that caused countless explosions in the room. When Y/N stood up from her seat, George felt a pang of disappointment hit him as he thought that the girl was bored and was tired of him being unable to figure things out. However, he was surprised to see Y/N take off her Slytherin robes and roll her sleeves before grabbing an ingredient and staring at it, to think deeply.

George felt giddy once again. The only one who has helped him was his twin. No other person on earth got involved with their products when creating.

After Y/N letting the recipe cool down in a wooden pan, she took out a bunch and cut it into bite-sized pieces. She carefully placed it on a tray before offering it to George, who looked amused by Y/N’s work.

“It...looks like what I have here.” George stated, pointing at the tray in front of him, which caused Y/N to roll her eyes at him. “Yes but yours didn’t work at all. Your nose bled like...2 drops. Besides, yours are shaped like squares. Mine are diamonds. Bet you 10 galleons that mine would 100% work. I’m so sure of it. You have to test it out.” She demanded.

“Me?! No way! You made it, you go test it!” George exclaimed, causing Y/N to groan.

“No.” She remarked.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“George-”

“Alright, alright. I bet you’re just scared that yours would malfunction and that you think that it's better to be me than you.” The ginger pronounced, moving to set in front of Y/N to grab a piece before his hand was swatted away. George, confused, was surprised to see the girl having her brows furrowed, the tray settled down on a table as she chewed on her created sweet.

Almost immediately, blood started dripping out of her nostrils like waterfalls. Her eyes were wide and watery, tears threatening to spill from the pain she’s feeling. Turning around for privacy, she quickly covered her nose with a free hand before shoving the other side of the nougat on her mouth to stop the bleeding.

Moving to the table to retrieve her wand, she cleaned herself up before facing George with a grin on her face, who had his mouth open from utter shock. “It worked~” Y/N sang. “I told you so!”

For the second time this week, George was speechless. Not once did he ever expect for someone to willingly test their dangerous sweets. Not once did he ever expect for it to be a Slytherin, for it to be Y/N Icestone.

“Wicked.” was all that came out from his mouth, shaking his head from side to side as he gave the girl an applause. The grin on Y/N’s face remained as she curtsied, muttering cocky “thank you, thank you...of course I could do it. I am Y/N Icestone afterall.”

____________________

A few hours after creating more nosebleed nougats, George and Y/N were sprawled at the floors of the room of requirement, wrapping the sweet into its packaging as they quietly chatted.

“Hey, Y/N. Can I try something?” George asked, dropping the packaged nougat into his box as he looked at Y/N. The girl nodded, mirroring the boy’s action before facing him with a raised brow.

“So me and Fred have been practicing palm reading.” He announced, a small smile plastered around his face as he executed the little plan in his head.

Y/N gave him a look of amusement. “Palm reading?!” She repeated, earning a nod from George, who had a hand offered to Y/N. The Slytherin stared at his hand then to George then to his hand then back to George again, confused written all over her face. “Why?”

“Can I try and read yours?” George urged. Almost immediately, the Slytherin accepted, moving closer to George to let him examine her palm.

The ginger held it softly, tracing a finger at the lines of the girl’s palm, a determined look on his face as he squinted and pretended to understand something. “Hmm….interesting” He commented.

“What? What is it?” Y/N, who was curious, queried.

George put Y/N's hand on her lap, turning his attention on her doe-like eyes. “It seems like you’re going to be on a date this weekend. With a ginger Gryffindor in Hogsmeade.” He professed, the girl’s curious and expecting look changing into an amused one, realizing that George was lying and that the twins were not actually practicing palm reading.

The Slytherin put out a thinking look, looking at the ceiling as she hummed. “Hmm...Perhaps Ginny?” She said, attempting to tease George, who only ignored her.

Intensely staring at the girl with a hopeful look, George sat. “You and me. Hogsmeade this weekend. Please?”

Y/N beamed, nodding. “Of course, George.”

____________________

“So?” Daphne interrogated as she stood in front of Y/N who was seated in her bed, an innocent look on her face.

“So what?”

“What’s the tea?” Daphne questioned ever further, trying to get information.

Y/N glanced behind her best friend, to her fairy Mira, who was making tea for the both of them. “Uh...cherry and -”

“Not that kind of tea! The details! The 411! Hello? Has Weasley made you all dumb now?” Daphne conveyed impatiently, eager to get actual answers from her best friend who suddenly stays out of her room to go to unknown places. At least, unknown in Daphne’s knowledge.

“No! I am completely fine, Daphne.” Y/N suggested. The black-haired girl crossed her arms against her chest, a brow raised as she interrogated the girl in front of her. “You sure?”

“Yeah...just…”

“What?”

“I can’t help but think about George.” Y/N revealed, sprawling in her bed as she put an arm on top of her eyes. “He’s just...he’s amazing, really. He’s so thoughtful and he’s so smart, he’s funny, and he...treats me like a princess.”

“Everyone treats you like a queen, Icestone.” Daphne asserted, still having doubts at the Weasley’s true personality.

“Not him! People who treat me like a queen have other intentions with me. They either want to brag to other families that they got the Icestones on their side or just want a share with our family wealth! But George….he seems like he doesn’t care for any of those, at all!” Y/N articulated, dropping her arm as she felt Lixie lay on top of her.

“Are you sure, Y/N? I mean, don’t get me wrong but the Weasleys aren’t really on the wealthier side of the wizarding families…” Daphne carefully commented, carefully trying not to offend the Weasleys or even Y/N.

“Exactly my point! Those other families have been wanting more wealth and power from my family. They’re so greedy! I don’t think the Weasleys are like that at all. Besides, I met George, and of course his twin, Fred. I met their lovely sister Ginny who, by the way, adores Lixie! And Ron! I met Ron! They seem kind of nice.”

“So?”

“What do you mean, so?” Y/N asked, confused.

“So what are you gonna do then?”

Y/N sat up, her shoulders slumped as she sighed. She glanced up at Daphne who was impatiently waiting for her answer, before putting on a determined look on her face. “You know what, Daph? Screw the plan. I’m just gonna go with it and see where it takes me. I’m just gonna...fall.”

With Y/N’s answer, Daphne let out a small shriek. “Fall?! For Weasley?!”

“Yeah...fall.” Y/N repeated. “Free fall. And I’ll see where I’ll land.”

____________________

A day before the weekend’s Hogsmeade trip, the controversial duo agreed to not have their usual midnight escapade to the astronomy tower and to just get a good night’s rest. Besides, they are to spend the whole day together tomorrow after all.

Currently, the Weasley twins were casually seated in front of the fireplace situated in the Gryffindor common room, doodling on their piece of parchment for the next product they’re planning to create when suddenly, the entrance busts open with a small fairy followed by an enchanted trunk who was floating her. The fairy examined the Gryffindor common room in awe, foreign to the warmth as the Slytherin’s common room was usually cold. Once again scanning the room, her eyes landed to two identical redheads before making her way towards them.

“There you are! And here I was having second doubts if I would be able to find you. Good thing you’re both tall.” The fairy rambled, flying around the twins’ face as she spoke.

Fred, who was completely bewildered, spoke. “Uh...hi?”

“Oh! Hi! Apologies for my rambling. I’m Mira, Ms. Icestone’s fairy. I’m here to make a delivery? Which one of you is George Weasley then?” She inquired, her eyes moving back and forth to Fred and George.

“That would be me.” George spoke, curious as to why Y/N would send her fairy with a large trunk past 10:00 PM in the evening.

The fairy clasped her small hands before commanding the trunk to rest itself in front of George’s feet. “Great! Here!”

The trunk was as big as a treasure chest, jet black in color with silver linings, which made it look expensive. In fact, it really was expensive.

George knelt on one knee, his hand tracing the top of the chest before seeking Mira for answers “What exactly is this?”

The small flying fairy gave him a small smile, her small arms laid out as she presented the trunk to him. “I guess you’ll have to open it to find out.” She said. Suddenly, there was a soft meow near them.

Turning to look at the cat, Mira was delighted to see the familiar cat who sleeps beside her master, who was currently resting on top of Ginny’s arms. “Lixie! I didn’t know you were here! Sneaking out of the quarters again, I see? Did you ask Y/N’s permission?” The fairy asked, moving towards the Siamese cat as she patted his head. The cat gave another meow, which caused Mira to frown and scratch her small head. “Oh...yeah I forgot to wear my pin. I can’t really understand you, Lixie…”

Meanwhile, as George opened the trunk with Fred, he saw an emerald envelope sealed with the familiar Icestone crest in gold. He took a hold of it, opened it, only to see a card that had a brand’s logo that he never heard before. Princeton Perspicuous Potions. Turning the card around, he saw the familiar handwriting.

George,

For your future.

Icestone

George, getting more curious of the contents of the trunk, pierced down the trunk to see a brown briefcase. Pulling it out of the trunk, he set it on the floor and opened it. Only to be surprised to see a variety of ingredients for potion making.

The older Weasley twin then commented. “All this from Icestone? Damn, George. She’s mad. I think we shouldn’t continue on with our plan of breaking her heart anymore and just let her bring you gifts like this.”

Mira, who was gently petting Icestone’s cat in the arms of the female Weasley, snapped her head towards the direction of the older Weasley twin. Eyes about to pop out of her head as she felt shock all over her small body. The Siamese cat froze. Shocked of what has been spoken as well.

Meanwhile, the female Weasley glared at her brother, furious as to why they didn’t dropped their stupid plan yet. The cat was angry, spitting a few loud meows before hissing at the direction of the twins.

As if he was not paying attention earlier, the older twin was surprised to see the cat in his sisters arms, the fairy no longer in sight. “Where’d you get the cat, Ginny?”

“None of your business.” The youngest Weasley snapped before turning her heals away from her twin brothers.

“Feisty that little girl is.” Fred commented, shaking his head from left to right, Turning his attention back to George who was further examining the contents of the prestigious looking trunk. “What’s that?” He asked, however, getting no answer from George which made him move closer and see for himself.

“A cauldron...and gloves? Aprons too! For the two of us!” The older twin exclaimed. Inside the trunk, a medium sized black cauldron was unwrapped from emerald green silk. Unlike what the students of Hogwarts possess, the cauldron was thicker, shinier, and much more robust. Something that looked like Y/N Icestone’s own cauldron, based on what George remembers.

In another unwrapped silk, there laid four pairs of gloves. Two were made of the finest leather, brown in color, while the other two were made of rubber, plain white. Lastly, in the other silk, two brown leather aprons with a small printed “W” on the top right side were neatly folded.

George felt his heart melt. He couldn’t believe that Y/N Icestone would spend a ton of galleons just for him. Somehow, he suddenly felt guilty. Embarrassed of himself for numerous reasons. One of them for taking advantage of the elite Slytherin.

“Bloody hell, mate.” Fred, in an excited manner, was unable to prevent himself from cursing. “What did I say? Don’t break up with her just yet! Imagine the gifts she’ll-“

“Shut up, Fred!” George demanded, starting to get wrathful of his own twin.

Fred raised both his hands in surrender, backing away from George as he stood up, a serious and stern look on his face as he faced Fred. “Woah, woah! Calm down, dear brother. What has gotten into you?”

“I want to stop this, Fred.” George stated, Fred immediately understanding what he was pertaining to.

The older twin scoffed in disbelief, crossing his arms as he furrowed his brows. “This early? But she hasn’t even declared her love for you yet! I really think we should stick to our initial plan so that it could work like we planned to! How can we break her heart if you don’t even have it yet?”

“Breaking her heart would mean mine breaking too.”

Fred, still in disbelief but in a more softened tone and an open mind, looked at his twin with concern. “What do you mean, George?”

____________________

On the other side of where Fred and George stood, was the sender of the gift, Y/N Icestone in her nightgown, seated on her couch in her own quarters as she read her transfiguration book. Hearing the noise of her door opening and closing, she looked up to see her personal fairy, who looked as if she lost an intense battle. The 5th year closed her book, crossing her legs as she gave Mira a small smile, greeting her. “Mira. Glad to see that you’re back. Have you successfully delivered my gift to George?”

The fairy flew in front of Y/N’s face. This time, Y/N was able to see the troubled look on her face, as if she was having a debate inside her head. The Slytherin put her two open-palmed hands side by side, laying it in front of the fairy to motion for her to rest on it. Almost immediately, the fairy landed on top of it, kneeling as she placed her small hands on top of her thighs.

For a moment, Mira had her head laid low, before shaking it and finally giving her master an answer. “Yes, Y/N. I have. But -”

“That’s great!” Y/N exclaimed enthusiastically, drawing what she thinks was George’s reaction in her head. She imagined him glowing, his lips curled from ear to ear, probably boasting his gift in front of his own twin.

With the thought consuming her head, Y/N beamed. “Do you think he liked it?” She questioned. “You saw his reaction didn’t you? You were there when he opened it, right? You HAVE to tell me everything, Mira.” The girl added.

“Of course, Y/N. It’s wonderful! He looked really happy and thankful! Bet you my 8 sickles that he’s going to probably ask you to be his girlfriend tomorrow on your date!” Mira answered, feigning excitement before visibly frowning. The frown, however, was not seen by Y/N as she bursted up giggling for her happiness soaring, her eyes shaping into a straight line as she smiled so wide. “But I have to tell you something -” Mira, who hesitated, added.

Immediately, Y/N’s expression turned into concern, looking softly at her fairy. “Is everything okay? What is it?” She asked.

The fairy once again laid her head down, her eyes fixated on her small fingers as she played with them, fidgeting from nervousness and hesitation. Suddenly, she rose to her feet, flying towards Y/N’s closet before opening it to examine its contents. “I have the perfect outfit in mind!” She pronounced.

Y/N beamed once again. “Wonderful.”

____________________

The next day, George found himself parting with his twin at the entrance of Hogwarts castle, waiting for a certain Slytherin for their first date in Hogsmeade. There he stood in brown khaki pants and brown boots, a maroon white jumper inside a maroon winter coat, and a white beanie on top of his ginger head that matches his mittens and scarf, all hand-made, knitted by his mother. Hearing the sound of heels, he turned his head towards the sound, eyeing Y/N Icestone, who was wearing her own set of winter clothing, except it was colored in black and green. Offering his arm for Y/N to grab, the duo made their way outside, walking on the snow covered floor, heading towards the small wizarding village.

The controversial Gryffindor-Slytherin couple spent most of the day inside Zonko’s Joke Shop, George purchasing a bunch of dungbombs to replenish his personal stock, and Y/N grabbing a handful of sugar quills, one of her favorite sweets to munch on whenever the classes becomes too boring for her liking. The two were also examining the shop’s newly released products, taking some inspiration for Fred and George’s Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes.

A few hours later, the two felt like they needed to quench their thirst, so they headed to the Three Broomsticks, greeting Madam Rosmerta before placing two orders of butterbeer for them to enjoy.

“So…” George began.

“So…”

“I didn’t know you had a fairy...and a cat too” The ginger stated, trying to start a conversation, remembering last night’s encounter with Y/N’s fairy.

The girl raised a brow. “You...didn’t know I had a fairy? You’re not as observant as I thought. Mira always flies with me in the Slytherin table at the great hall. And a cat? My cat was literally with me when you accused me of ordering the Slytherin Quidditch team to defeat Gryffindor in a not so fair way.”

George, muttered a small “...oh” before laying his head low, embarrassed at the girl’s statement. Y/N, who immediately sensed George’s defeated state, looked at him concerned, feeling bad for not filtering her words. “You know...I can speak to Lixie.” She revealed.

The ginger looked at her, confusion written all over his face. “You...can speak to animals?!” He queried, suddenly getting interested in the topic. The girl gave a small smile before shaking her head. “Nope.” She said, popping the ‘p’. “I can speak to cats.” She added.

George placed an elbow on their table, his chin resting on the palm of his hand. “How?”

Y/N’s hand went to her neck, fumbling with something before showing George a silver chain necklace with a single diamond pendant hanging on it. The boy stared at it for a moment, before recalling what he and Fred were studying in their common room a few weeks ago.

“Icestone.” George, realizing, muttered. “That’s the Icestone mark or something, right? Of course, diamonds. Stones that looked like ice.” He worded, nodding to himself. However, trying to comprehend, he still couldn’t understand how a single necklace enables her to speak to a cat. Did all the Icestones know how to speak to cats? “I still don’t understand.” He confessed.

Still holding the necklace, Y/N pointed towards the diamond. “This, George, is the Icestone jewel. You’re actually right about that. However, I bewitched it. For it to enable me to understand what cats are trying to say. Brilliant, aren’t I?” She declared, keeping it back to the safety of her jumper as she saw their orders making its way towards them.

“You...bewitched a necklace? Honestly, how do you do that? Isn’t that advanced magic?” George asked, stunned. Y/N took her glass of butterbeer, taking a sip before answering the question.

“Well...when I was just a little girl...about 5 or 6, my mother and father hired private tutors for me to learn about magic early. You see, the Icestone family really takes academics seriously. We hold a title, and one single failure would tatter that name. That’s why they have a lot of expectations towards me...because I’m an only child...and apparently the next heir to our family’s wealth.”

“When I was 12, for my birthday in spring, I told my mother that I wanted a companion with me in Hogwarts. I think you noticed how I don’t just hang around with anybody. I’m really picky on who I make friends with...because of their true intentions. So you’re lucky, George Weasley, that I befriended you.” She added, George immediately feeling the familiar pang of guilt that he had last night when he received such luxurious gifts from the girl in front of him.

“Anyways, you know, Siamese cats often talk. They really have a lot to say! They’d tell you what they did during the day, what they’re currently feeling, and you know...stuff! And I was really frustrated that I didn’t understand Lixie. So recalling my past lessons with Mr. Princeton, my tutor, I remembered something about jewelries being encharmed and so I asked for his help and bewitched my Icestone jewel. The rest...well...is history.” Y/N said, concluding her little tale.

____________________

A few hours after continuously chit chatting at the Three Broomsticks, it was nearing sunset so the couple decided to go outside and just have fun in the snow and breathe some fresh cold air. Y/N, who was gathering snow to make large snowballs using her gloved hands, was trying to make a snowman that resembled Fred and George, planning to throw snowballs on it to tease the ginger. George, however, was the first to tease the girl, as he threw a small snowball at the girl’s face. Only, it wasn’t Y/N in a snowman form. It was really Y/N, the person.

The Slytherin gave him her signature ice cold glare, slightly scaring the boy with the look. At first, the boy didn’t take it seriously, but when the girl spoke, he felt his heart drop.

“You, George Weasley, is so gonna regret that!” The girl threatened before turning her heels from the ginger’s view, heading back to the castle.

George dropped his carved snowball, concern all over his face as he marched towards Y/N, who was stomping as she climbed the snowy hill. Thinking that Y/N must have been offended, the ginger started to plead for forgiveness. “Oh c’mon, love. I’m only jo--” The Gryffindor was unable to finish his sentence as he felt someone throwing a snowball at him from behind. Confused, he turned around, seeing nobody there.

He examined the vast space covered in white snow, looking for any signs of footprint, thinking that it could be someone he knew who was using Harry’s invisibility cloak, his own twin perhaps, but to his surprise, there was no trace at all. Suddenly, from afar, he saw a chunk of snow being lifted off the ground, carving itself into a big snowball. Narrowing his eyes to determine its cause, he was shocked to see the ball darting towards him, hitting him straight in the face.

Feeling shivers in his body from fright, with wide eyes, he turned his attention back to his date, who was on top of the hill, grinning at him as she had her wand pointed out. Realizing that it was the girl’s scheme, he felt competitive. “Hey! That’s a foul!” George called out, brushing the snow away from his face before grabbing his own wand. However, the grip he had on it loosened, as another snowball, rather a much bigger one, hit him again.

George heard the familiar sound come out of the girl’s mouth, her laugh, which only a few people have heard nor seen. He thought that he would be glad to be hit with a thousand more snowballs just to hear the angelic sound.

“Y/N Icestone!” He called, lying on the snow-covered floor due to the Slytherin’s countless and merciless snowball attacks. Y/N moved closer to him, a teasing yet innocent look plastered around her face before muttering “George Weasley.”

The sun was setting behind the girl, giving her a soft yellow glow. It illuminated her pretty doe-like eyes, shiny like honey and diamonds. Y/N’s lips were curled upwards into a small smile, the sun illuminating it as well, making it look pink and plump.

George sat up, stared at her eyes, placing a gloved hand on her cheek, leaning closer as he pulled her into him. Tension was filled in their atmosphere as their gap decreased even further, that their foreheads touched. It was as if it wasn’t 8 degrees anymore, feeling heat all over their bodies from the shared moment they’re in.

The Slytherin slowly closed her eyes, waiting for George to seal their lips together. She felt his hot breath against hers, feeling it’s warmth even more when the ginger muttered. “I fancy you, Y/N Icestone.”

The girl fluttered her eyes open, seeing the boy staring intensely at her, his eyes full of love and sincerity, his face showing a look of genuineness. Y/N gave him a wide grin, wrapping her arms around his neck, sealing the gap between them after muttering “I fancy you.”

End of Chapter 4

____________________

Tag list: @abrunettefangirlnerd @gloryekaterina @lilypad-55449 @memekingofwwiii @leovaldez37

Author’s note: Thank you so much for being patient and for actually reading my work! I really enjoy reading your comments~ Do put a lot on this one! It makes me motivated to keep on going :D

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legoshi-plz · 4 years

Text

Study Date ( Legoshi x Reader)

Summary: Late night study date with Legoshi and he can not keep his hands to himself. College! Legoshi x Fem!Wolf!Reader

Warning: Smut (NSFW +18)

A/N: No one asked for this but this has been sitting in my drafts for waaay too long. Hope you all enjoy 💕

/////////

“Do you think this essay is too short?” You asked your boyfriend who was currently zoned out.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you think my essay is too short? The max amount of pages was five but I don’t want three and a half to come off as lazy,” you mumbled. You waited for Legoshi’s input which never came.

“Earth to Legoshi, what it up with you?” You snapped your fingers which seemed to bring him out of his daze.

“Oh, uh, sorry it’s just....”

“Just..... what?”

“You’re..... you’re really pretty... have I- have I ever told you that?” he asked in a breathless tone and you felt your heart throb at his words.

“Yes, many many times, Legoshi,” you giggled, reaching up to scratch behind his ears. His tail began to wag in delight which in turn caused your tail to swivel in reciprocated joy.

“I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve you,” Legoshi sighed, pulling you into his lap. The two of you were previously sitting side by side at your bedroom desk in an attempt to get some homework done but a certain grey wolf found it hard to concentrate on anything that wasn’t you at the moment.

“The essay, Legoshi...,” you whined but making no move to get up from his lap.

“Right, sorry. I- uh, I actually think it could be a bit longer,” he murmured into your shoulder, claws gently stroking your thighs.

“I knew I should have added another paragraph before the conclusion, it was reading way too rushed at the en-” you squeaked in surprise as Legoshi’s hand found their way up the him of your oversized T-shirt and into your panties, rubbing slow circles around your clit.

“Legoshi I’m trying to finish my essay,” you were struggling to bite back a moan, your body immediately responding to his.

“Then finish it, stay focused,” His voice was gruff and you could tell he had already switched into ‘Male’ mode.

There was a time at the beginning of your relationship when Legoshi was afraid to touch you in fear of hurting you. He was nervous about his own sexual (which was actually pretty nonsexual) history with small mammals and felt nervous about being with his own kind. He felt like he was inadequate in a way because he didn’t have the first clue on how to pleasure female canine. But that time had long since passed as he quickly became an expert in your body through experience. Lots and lots of hands-on experience with none other than yours truly.

“Legoshi, can’t this wait? I really need to get some work done,” you whined, hoping to disguise the slight moan in your voice. Legoshi’s response was taking your arm that held your pencil and pressing it against your paper almost a little forcefully.

“Write.” He growled and you felt your spine tingle in excitement.

You and Legoshi had had many conversations about his strength and how he didn’t have to hold back with you the same way he would with a small mammal. Initially he was mortified at the idea of exhibiting his strength to anyone, especially his girlfriend, but after testing the waters for an almost torturous amount of time, he eventually slipped into comfortability which slowly morphed into something else.

He began to crave those moments he could allow himself to feel you unrestrained, without the constant pressure of holding back looming over him. With you, he could finally just feel (and be felt) for the first time, no guilt attached. He finally understood why people placed such a high importance on being with your own kind. Where he originally thought it was meant to be a means of confinement, he soon discovered it actually opened up a whole new realm of freedom he could have never imagined.

You were whimpering in his lap as he began to finger you purposefully. You held your pencil in a death grip while he plunged his thick digits inside you at a vigorous pace. Despite never vocally confirming it, Legoshi was actually quite proud of his agility with his hands. It’d taken him a while to get to this point where he was confident enough that he could pleasure you so roughly without hurting you with his claws. He was cautious of every single movement yet he made it look, and most importantly feel, effortless.

“Le-Legoshi please, I can’t take it,” you moaned as you squirmed uncontrollably in his lap. Your cunt was an absolute sopping mess as your arousal gushed all over his fingers and onto his thighs. Legoshi’s mouth watered at the sight.

“Stay still for me, you’re almost there and I really wanna help you cum,” Legoshi breathed into the fur of your neck, his senses going into overdrive at the scent of your raging hormones. He was struggling to keep focus on helping you achieve your orgasm with his own straining member screaming for attention while you were practically bouncing in his lap.

Legoshi grabbed your tail by its underside, a motion he knew you couldn’t resist, and was rewarded by your wanton cries as you finally gave into your own release. The pencil in your hand snapped in two but you hardly noticed anything that wasn’t Legoshi’s fingers inside you.

“Good girl. I think you deserve a break for that,” Legoshi lifted you up and tossed you unceremoniously on your bed before grabbing you by your calves to tug you closer to him.

Legoshi practically ripped your panties off of you while you tugged off your shirt. He paused looking down at you sprawled before him. It was a sight he didn’t think he would ever get tired of no matter how many times he saw it.

“Hey! This is no time for dawdling, Furball,” you teased tugging at his sweatpants.

“Well excuse me for being mesmerized by my beautiful girlfriend,” Legoshi began to strip and your eyes never once left him. He took pride in the fact you were just as mesmerized by his own physique.

When he finally freed his weeping member from the confines of his boxers, he didn’t miss the way you bit your lip. He knew his size was pretty intimidating even now after all this time but he also knew you could take it and, more importantly, he would take care of you to make sure it didn’t hurt.

Legoshi pumped himself as he ran his tip between your soaking lips, allowing your arousal to coat him. He then began to ease into you, humming at the snug tightness surrounding him. Every time he entered you he knew that you had to be made for him, that wolves were made for each other. There was no unbearable pain or discomfort that came with him trying to force (or, in the case of his ex-girlfriend, be forced) his member into an anatomy that was simply too small to take him.

You had never tried to force him to do anything he didn’t want to do. You were patient and allowed him to set the pace for the sexual relationship the two of you had. Though initially hesitant, Legoshi’s wolf hormones would not let this hesitancy stand for long. He craved you, craved being inside you, in a way he never had with a Herbivore or anyone else actually. There was something about being with you that called to him in the most primal way and that was a call he was always happy to answer.

Once he was completely inside of you, he had to try and calm himself down. He wanted to go wild with you but not yet, not when you looked this beautiful beneath him. He wanted to savor that look for as long as he could before he fucked you into a sweaty mess.

“Legoshi~,” you cooed, running your nails through the tender fur of his lower abdomen. You knew he was especially sensitive there and he shivered at your touch, hips bucking into you automatically.

“Sorry, I just- I could look at you all day,” Legoshi lamented, grinding into you slowly. Your hips met his with you own frantic rhythm, a clear indication you were way too wired for such a slow pace.

“I know, baby, I know but I need you right now,” you mewled and Legoshi felt his spine tingle in desire.

“What do you need from me? I gotta hear you say it,” Legoshi asked in a husky tone as he dragged his claws through the fur of your thighs.

“I need you to fuck me, Legoshi,” you purred and that was all the confirmation he needed.

Legoshi pulled out slightly before sinking back in, putting most of his weight on you. He thought it odd at first when you told him you loved when he would lay on you fully during sex. ‘I just feel like we’re so much closer when you do it. And it doesn’t hurt at all,’ you had assured him multiple times and though it was nice to not have to worry about accidentally crushing you, Legoshi was still cautious of himself.

Legoshi fucked into you relentlessly, his pace becoming more frenzied as he neared his completion. You were in absolute bliss as your drenched cut began to tighten around him. Legoshi grit his teeth, determined to outlast you.

“Le-Legoshi I’m right there, shit I’m so close,” you wailed, your hips gyrating frantically as you sought your release. Legoshi continued to pound into you, his length repeatedly brushing against your cervix. The thought of filling your womb with his litter was too much and sent him toppling over the edge. He removed himself before his knot had a chance to lock into place but not before he filled you with his cum.

“No, not yet! I’m right there baby!” You yelped, grabbing at his sides trying to pull him back in.

“It’s alright, Y/N, I’ve got you. You know I’ll take care of you,” Legoshi panted, bringing his fingers to your entrance. He fingerfucked you vehemently through his cum as he watched you come undone before him, your claws sinking into his back while you rode out your release.

When you finally opened your eyes again you noticed Legoshi staring at you as if you hung the stars and the moon. He crawled on top of you to hover above you, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Have I told you-”

“Yes, many times.” You answered for him, already knowing what he would say. Legoshi chuckled, bringing his lips to your own softer ones.

Legoshi knew he complemented your beauty a lot but he felt he had to, both as a side effect of his own guilt and as a reminder to how lucky he was to have you. When he first met you, he was unintentionally put off by your beauty. He could barely even bring himself to look at you, let alone talk to you beyond cordial acknowledgment if you spoke to him. He was almost downright rude to you, completely uncharacteristic for him. Yet a few talks with Gouhin led him to the ultimate conclusion he’d been avoiding this entire time.

His mother was a beautiful wolf and she left him, leading to his own subconscious mind resenting beautiful wolves. It’s why despite him and Juno being so right for each other on paper, he could never imagine himself as anything more than her friend. And Juno’s beauty didn’t even hold a candle to your own.

So he finally sat down, began working through his issues with his own species instead of working around it and finally gained the courage to apologize to you properly. Which led to him finally being able to see you as a person, a person he couldn’t stop thinking about. A person that he couldn’t stay away from even if he tried.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked softly, stroking his fur as he laid on top of you, seemingly zoned out for a moment.

“You, as always,” Legoshi hummed in content, nuzzling your neck.

“I’ve still got a essay to write, remember,” you cooed, making no move to get up.

“I thought you finished already,”

“Oh I finished alright, just not the essay,” you giggled, and Legoshi groaned at your pun.

Yeah, he was definitely lucky to have you.

#beastars legoshi #beastars legoshi x reader #legoshi x reader #beastars #legoshi x you #legoshi

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

Text

(Shanghai-related asks)

Anonymous said:

Did you see how, supposedly, the reason Marinette goes to Shanghai is bc Adrien is there. Because you know, that's a totally normal thing to do.

You know, there’s this suspension of disbelief where characters are allowed to do certain things that you’re like, “okay that’s not realistic but it’s fun so I don’t mind.”

Yeah, this is not fun.

Anonymous said:

Based on the new trailer for the Shanghai special, one of my biggest fears is that we won't see Marinette interacting with Sabine's family outside of Uncle Wang, even Sabine is nowhere to be seen in the trailer, please ZAG at least give us one of Sabine's parents, we're starving

I’m still rolling my eyes that there’s not one piece of dialog with Sabine talking about stuff related to her family, though her cheongsam is also flipped so--

Anonymous said:

Synopsis for the Shanghai Special: To join Adrien in Shanghai, Marinette is going to visit her uncle Wang who is celebrating his anniversary. But, as soon as she arrives in China, her purse gets stolen with Tikki inside, whom she needs to secretly transform into Ladybug! Without money and alone in the immense city, Marinette accepts the help of a young and resourceful girl, Fei. The two girls will ally and discover the existence of a new magical jewel, the Prodigious. Hawk Moth, also also present in Shanghai, seeks to finding it since a long time... Yea, cause Marinette still hasn’t suffered enough :p

mAriNEtTe mAkeS a mIsTakE iN eVeRY sToRY

Anonymous said:

As someone of Chinese descent, I felt extremely bothered by how miniscule the boy's , the one on the right (?) taking a picture with Adrien, eyes were when I saw the Shanghai trailer. It feels extremely... stereotypical? Not sure if that's the right word. I mean, he could just be squinting, but it still bothers me. Especially if that's their normal eye shape.

I heard similar complaints when Kagami arrived. They really stress the eye shape when it comes to someone full-on Asian (and if you’re half-Asian then you get wholly round eyes which makes no sense). It also gets weird because I feel like we have characters in the show who could pass for Asian (Mireille at least has the proper eye shape without it being over-exaggerated; I don’t remember if her skin tone is correct or not), but when characters are actually Asian, it’s usually taken to the exaggeration.

My sympathy goes out to everyone of Chinese descent who’s going to have to deal with the special. I’m literally a mish-mash of whiteness (American, French, and German) but even I know it must suck.

Anonymous said:

im tempted to watch the Shanghi special with my family, we're part chinese and have been to shanghi a few times. Then we can laugh and yell at it together, no need for show context

omg

As long as you have fun! Give it a good roast for me!

Anonymous said:

Excuse my french (pun intended) but

WHAT EVER LOVING HELL HAPPEN TO THE SPECIAL!!

Marketing.

Also the writers wanting to make sure you don’t forget that Adrien is a guy who exists.

Anonymous said:

Hi, Clarity! If you don't mind me asking, do you have any thoughts on the upcoming Shanghai special based on the information and trailers we have?

When I found out that Marinette was spending time with her great-uncle Wang, I was so excited. I was hoping that this special will be a breath of fresh air and spontaneously focus just on Marinette and her family for once. Maybe we'd explore Marinette's Chinese heritiage and learn more about her mother, Sabine and extended maternal family.

Then I saw Gabriel in which I eye-rolled 180* like any degree of character development. Like... great... more needless Miraculous lore/exposition. (Can we even call it exposition? I doubt any of the Miraculous-related events will be referenced within the show.) Whilst Miraculous lore is great and does expand our knowledge on the Miraculous, it steals any individual focus that Marinette could potentially have. It also tends to "hands everything" to Hawk Moth, who gets almost everything done his way without him even trying. Hmm, I guess as Shadow Moth, he won't have to use Mayura as his catslyst anymore. He'll have to ruffle his own feathers. (I don't know why I'm making a bird joke about Gabriel here. I hate him snd I couldn't care less about him.)

Also by reading the special's synopsis, it mentions that Adrien and Gabriel go to China for an unknown reason (maybe business related.) So Marinette decides to go to spend time with him (also spend time with Wang concurrently.) This might be a minor issue but I don't want Adrien to always be the centre focus of Marinette's motivations/desires. (He isn't always but I feel he is more than he should be.) Let our beautiful amazing girl just have an amazing time with her family in China. The writers need to stop Adrien being an integral part of Marinette's character. This special should be about Marinette (along with her family) and them solely.

Moreover, I'm worried that Marinette will imminently be embarassed/scolded/humiliated in some way. The synopsis mentions that she loses her bag (that contains Tikki.) Inevitably, she's going to be scolded for this for not being careful. The writers will blame her for the destruction that Hawk Moth will cause and not the actual man terrorising Shanghai himself. And no needless lovesquare drama please. If I'm not interested in it in Paris, don't think I'll be interested in it in Shanghai. And please do not let it be used to cause Mari/LB to suffer. Romance (no matter how contrived it is in this show) should be about finding joy and happiness. It should never intentionally be a burden for anybody, especially if it's for comedic purposes. Why am I worried that CN will yell at LB this time?

Maybe I'm just being pessimistic. I hope that the writers actually have them communicate properly about this time. Like they should both be honest (an important aspect of healthy relationships), to build clarity and to avoid confusion. Like the needless drama in NY could have been avoided if Adrien didn't ignore Ladybug and actually TRUSTED her by telling her the truth about him going somewhere instead of complacently lying to her, then losing her trust. Both could have told each other that they are going to NY "for personal reasons" without giving too much detail. To prevent suspicion, the writers could have included the American superheroes hosting an event inviting them or asking for their help to defeat that Micromonster guy. LB and CN could have both then collectively made a decision that if anything were to go wrong in Paris, they could quickly use the Horse Miraculous to transport to France in time (like Marinette was advised to do in "Startrain") or use the Rabbit Miraculous to travel back in time/manipulate events. There was no need to make Marinette suffer for the sake of needless lovesquare drama.

However, I love the animation for the special. It is mesmerising and beauitful and the graphics look superb. The atmosphere looks so clean and the nature-aspects (Hawk Moth's hideout) are intricately detailed. The lighting also complements the charactrrs and the settings' colours. A huge round of applause to SAMG for their excellant hardwork for animating this special despite the pandemic!

If you have any worries about the special, free free to do so! I want to conclude my message by thanking you so much for being such a lovely, kind, confident and resilient person. You always confidently express your opinions and strcture your essays clearly and legibly. I always look forward to reading your posts. I know I can always count on you to express our frustrations with the show's writing on our behalf and speak up for Marinette's mistreatment and inustice! 😊

Firstly, thank you! I gotta defend Marinette because we know the show won’t!

Anyway, I agree with basically everything you said. My biggest comments on it are like--

- I’m already tired of places just being used as set pieces for specials. I actually have a history of disliking specials/movies for shows because its purposes is usually just to get people hyped up, but that means big plots with big stakes and I end up thinking, “okay, but why can’t we have that in the show?” That’s always the issue I take with it; movies/specials prove that they can come up with high stakes plots, but we can’t have equivalents in the show because...?

- I officially tune out now anytime Marinette’s crush on Adrien is mentioned. It gets tiring and it just makes me feel bad for her and simultaneously angry at the writers for treating her this way. Add that onto the “Marinette always makes mistakes” rule and it’s clear that they’re creatively bankrupt and needlessly restrict themselves for the sake of making Marinette suffer. I’m just insulted that Gabriel is going to Shanghai for his fashion business but Marinette being into fashion is ignored.

- The animation is nice but whenever I see it, I’m reminded that we couldn’t have much SAMG in Season 4+5 because they were busy working on the special. The show should always take priority over some lame special/movies. I won’t judge the special for it but I’m salty about it regardless.

#category: salt #special: Miraculous Shanghai #other: ask and answer

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thestyleswritings · 4 years

Text

Restoration of Faith

REQUEST: (this may be triggering, so i'd understand if you chose not to write it). first-time consensual sex. Y/N lost her virginity in a sexual assault but has been to therapy. It took her a while to be comfortable with sex, but now she decides she's finally ready to have sex with Harry for the first time. He know what happened wants to make it a positive experience for her so he's super gentle and attentive.

"I'm... Nervous," she admits, biting her lower lip once again and truly testing his resolve. Her lips were always a key part in his fantasies. Contrary to her words, she rocks herself onto his growing length, making the pair of them shiver.

"You don't need to be nervous, princess. This is all you. We can do whatever you want and nothing more. The ball is in your court." Harry tells her softly, though now his voice has a gruffness to it that she's only heard early in the morning.

Harry meets a girl who’s been through something awful and falls deeply in love with her.

Warnings: Smut, TW // Mentions of abuse and self-harm

4k+

Therapy had saved her life. She was ready and willing to admit that. After her attack, she stopped texting, calling, going out. She wouldn't make contact with anyone for anything, even her professors had thought she'd dropped off the face of the planet. She wasn't eating, she wasn't sleeping, and she wasn't showering. She also had a very nasty habit of hurting herself, even if only a little bit, just to feel something. The sting of a cut, the scorch of a lighter. It took her somewhere close to 3 months to even get out of her head and call a therapist.

It had been another 6 months into therapy that she'd met Harry. Before he arrived in her life, she always kept the same routine to feel as if she had more control over her life, never failing to tick every box to the letter on her list of daily activities. It helped her feel like she was really in charge of her life, an exercise her therapist taught her, and consistently praised her for continuing on her own.

The day she met Harry, everything she had structured in place for herself shifted. It started when she missed the bus she normally took to her weekly appointment, kicking herself for snoozing her alarm one too many times. She typically didn't even take advantage of the function on her phone, only she'd been feeling hazy for a few days prior and figured a moments peace couldn't hurt anyone. With a scowl on her face, she decided she'd just hoof it there and apologise profusely for her tardiness once she arrived.

Only she never made it that day. One blasted thing after another got in her way, making it nearly impossible to get to her destination. Pavements were closed on one road, traffic being directed in a never-ending stream on another. It was maddening. She could almost feel herself unravelling towards a breakdown when a man spoke to her left, nearly causing her to jump from her skin.

"Sorry love, was only asking if you knew another way 'round this intersection. I've got an appointment at a quarter til, and it's just about half-past now. I didn't mean to give you such a scare," the man sounded sincere, honest, apologetic. She felt the very corner of her lips raise at the notion. An honest man? Unfathomable.

"S'alright, I'm just a bit caught up in my mind, innit?" She offered, tone teetering on cheekiness.

"I must be too, s'why I'm on my way to therapy. Though it seems like every bloody traffic cop in London would rather I didn't make it there." The man scoffed lightheartedly, dramatically rolling his eyes for her amusement.

"Oh, that's actually where I was headed." She offers, not exactly sure why. She didn't owe him any further explanation of her presence on the street, but here she was, still giving one. It felt nice. She hadn't so much as double taken a man since what had happened to her, but there was something so welcoming about him. So she dared to ask his name, creating an inevitable conversation. She made a note to let her therapist in on this major break in her recovery realisation.

"'M Harry. You?" He said, glittering eyes gazing into hers.

Another 6 months down the road, she felt her throat close up as her heart sank to her stomach. She and Harry had laid down a sturdy foundation together in the time leading up to then, strong as mountains. They'd quickly become the best of friends, laughing at all the same corny puns and jokes and learning every little quirk that made the other up. She knew things like how he took his coffee, and what kind of jam was his favourite. She knew where he'd grown up, who he was friends with in another life, strange dreams he had, what sort of dumb things he and his sister fought over when they were young. But she also had more intimate knowledge, things like his deepest fears regarding his family, his future, if he'll have a family of his own, his regrets. And he knew those same things about her. She trusted him by showing him what she'd done to herself when she needed to bring herself back to reality. She told him what she was ashamed of, both things she had done and what had been done to her. She spoke openly about how her purity had been snatched from her grasp, although kicking and screaming. She cried to him when she felt small. They had even told the other they were in love.

That's what scared her half to death. She knew she loved him with the entirety of her soul, but she was afraid, almost petrified, to take her clothes off in front of him. She had a few unwelcomed touch-memories when he'd come up behind her and laid a hand on her hip innocently, or when he'd spontaneously kissed her neck and she nearly lost her mind.

And he understood that. He couldn't imagine the kinds of trauma buried beneath her skin, the levels of paranoia that were bestowed upon her. From the nights she spent at his flat, he knew she sometimes would even jump in her sleep. It made him upset. Not because she was subconsciously jumping from his touch, but because someone made it that way. He would never forgive himself, even if the thought was beyond irrational, for not meeting her sooner. He wished more than anything to take that pain off her shoulders. To erase the searing memory she was still so harshly burdened with. Of course, he desired her physically, but he would never be able to live with himself if he made her feel pressured or uncomfortable. What kind of monster couldn't wait to be intimate with her? It kept him up some nights, but he'd never tell her that. She felt guilty enough as it was during their waking hours, he couldn't add to her burden by telling her he couldn't sleep sometimes while thinking of the horror she went through, cuddling her to his side deeper as she slept soundlessly.

So when she went to Harry and sat on his lap, curled up like a kitten, he was a bit taken aback. He loved a cuddle and was one of the snuggliest creatures she had ever had the pleasure of meeting, but they usually only cuddled once they were in bed, where she felt the safest. He didn't dare protest, silently complying and raising a hand to get lost in her hair, petting his fingers against her scalp lightly.

"What's on your mind, pet?" Harry rasped quietly, voice tired from the full day he'd had at work. She had been home all day, thinking of ways to break the conversation, fibbing and telling him she was skipping the day's class to stay at his flat and complete her essay, bringing her one step closer to her master's degree.

"Just thinking. I love you, I've just been thinking about you all day." She admits softly, pressing a kiss to his neck just below his ear.

He feels a blush run over his cheeks, feels himself inflate with affection and giddiness, much like a puppy getting its belly scratched. He couldn't help the goofy smirk adorning his lips, he just felt too good not to.

"Yeah, baby? I love you. I'm so crazy about you. You're always on my mind." He tells her, not caring how utterly lovesick he comes across at times.

She flushes, though it comes with a tingle that travels from the top of her head to the tips of her fingertips and toes. It's almost like she can physically feel his soul in hers and she feels alive. She truly can't help but give his neck another kiss, wetter this time, and joined by several others. He shudders and she feels it, making her blood sing in her veins. She couldn't remember a time where she felt so in love, so safe and so free. She felt like she and Harry could soar the greatest heights together, the pair of them unstoppable when they were together. It was an incredible feeling.

"What are you after, baby?" He questioned, not wanting her to stop but also wanting to see where her head was at. He didn't want her to make a rash decision if she would end up regretting it later down the line.

Instead of answering outright, she removes her face from his throat with one last kiss. Her eyes are doe-like and Harry's heart stutters. She'd never looked more radiant or confident than in that moment. Taking her lip between her teeth, she looks down between them to catch his big hand in her smaller ones. The air thickened instantly, the pair of them seemingly holding their breath.

"Just.. wanna be close to you. Wanna love on you, if you let me," she purrs, causing the hairs on Harry's neck to come to a stand and his tummy to flutter. She can't be implying what I think she is? He thinks to himself. It's not that she's never shown her attraction to him, he just can't believe today could be the day he's finally allowed to touch her. He's thought about it countless times, dreamt of it even, and it nearly brings a tear to his eye that she finally, finally feels comfortable and safe enough to physically show him love.

"Yeah? Show me how you wanna love on me, princess." Harry breathes, light filling his green eyes. He wants her to show him exactly what she wants, willing to go to the ends of the earth for his girl to be whatever she wanted.

She's back to feeling shy, not really knowing how to initiate this. She knows he'd take the ropes if she were to hand them over, but they both know how important it is that she takes control at this moment. This is her choice.

She looks into his eyes and her breath stalls at the look of love he's sending her. She dives back in, kissing Harry with a fervour he's never felt from her. He can practically taste the lust dripping from her tongue onto his. Gingerly, she presses herself against his lap where he's already sporting a mainly solidly stiff prick. As silly as she feels for it, the presence of it shocks her, ripping a gasp from her puffy lips. The feeling sends her into a frenzy, pulling back with wide eyes and a rapidly rising and falling chest to meet his gaze once more.

"Mhm, you feel it? 'S for you. Always is," Harry admits with a blush. He's no stranger to dirty talk, but he wants to take precautions with her. He doesn't know how filthy he can be without sending her back into her shell.

"I want you, in every way. Stayed home to pluck up the courage to do summat about it. And to take a very, very thorough shower that involved a lot of bending and twisting to get everything shaved." She tells him, a raspberry blush appearing beneath the skin of her cheeks. He's in awe again, of his darling girl.

"Cheeky thing. Lied to me about why you stayed home just so you could strategise how to jump m' bones?" Harry chuckles, grabbing her waist delicately before making the motion to stand.

"Gonna bring me to bed?" She asks breathlessly, nerves still getting the better of her. But she won't let her fears and self-doubt get in the way of another night she could've spent wrapped up in her love. Not anymore.

The moment she feels the plush mattress beneath her, she can breathe a bit steadier. Even if they hadn't used the bed for its extra-curricular purpose, it was still a major staple in their relationship. She knew this place, and she felt safe here.

"Take off your clothes." She instructs simply. If she were to get through to the rewarding bit of this, she had to hurry and get to it already. The build-up was the worst part. His lip curls at the command as he does what she asks. He leaves himself in nothing but his tight black boxer-briefs, kneeling on the bed before advancing. Watching and waiting to see if she would ask him to do something else.

"Come here, please," she begs of him, reaching an arm out to grasp the back of his neck. He's awfully careful as he crawls up the bed, hovering over her much smaller body, not putting an ounce of pressure on her.

"I love you. I love you so much. I-I wish you could've actually been my first," she begins, but he stops her.

"I will be." He assures her, "If you didn't say yes, it wasn't your first, princess. I know I've told y'that. This is what you'll think about when you think about your first. I promise you I won't let any other thought come up." His voice breaks as he cradles her face, finally dropping his body to rest against hers. The kiss he lands to her lips shatters her and mends her at once, feeling the love and healing he put into it.

"Please, I don't know what I'm doing yet," she mumbles against his lips, grazing her hand along his length. He draws back to look at her once before he's moving down the bed again, placing kisses to her neck and gripping the bottom of her shirt. She can faintly hear him asking to undress her through the blood rushing to her ears and she nods. She may be inexperienced, but she isn't naive. She knows exactly what he's headed down to do, and more than anything, she's excited.

"Aw, princess, s'this all for me?" Harry coos his rhetorical question softly upon seeing how incredibly aroused she'd become, kissing the softest and squidgiest bit of her thigh; right up top.

"You know it is," she whimpers, threading her fingers through his thick strands. Before she's even finished her sentence, her panties were pulled from her hips. She ignores the unpleasantly familiar sensation of someone that isn't her taking them off. Harry. It's Harry.

"God princess, might be down here a while..." Harry breathes, voice drunk. She peers up at him quickly enough to catch the strong drag of his tongue against her slippery lips. The noise she makes would've made him laugh in other circumstances, a squeak, instead he grunts and grinds his hips into the mattress. He might not even make it inside her before he's tapped out.

The movement of his tongue picks up each time she squeezes the handful of hair in her grasp, which is quite often, and he's loving it. He doesn't think he'll ever get enough of her sweet peach now that he's had his tongue inside her. She can't describe the feeling, she just knows that she would be asking him to replicate his actions often. She tenses up as her clit makes its way into his mouth, hearing the filthy slurps and moans coming from his lips. She could finish just from the sound of him. She thrashes when she feels a finger tease the rim of her opening, subconsciously kicking at Harry's shoulder before he grabs her ankle and kisses it.

"I's me, princess. S' just me. Let me make you feel good, sweet girl." His voice calms her immensely, shaking her head and focusing back on him. He's so good to her, it feels like karma's personal apology to her.

"Sorry," she says sheepishly. She knew it would happen, she just hoped she hadn't ruined the mood. As if she ever could.

No more words are spoken as she feels his finger back at her hole, lips leaving kisses to her lower tummy. He slides it in further than the rim this time, sucking her clit into his mouth to alleviate any discomfort she may have felt. He thrusts his finger in steadily, not too hard but definitely not as soft as he'd been at first. She appreciates him attempting to keep some normalcy.

"Wait- Oh! Feels good, really good. Wanna feel you now, please-Please!" She nearly surrenders to her pleasure when he adds another finger, curling them right up against her spongy wall.

"Gonna make you come first, princess." He tells her, not bothering to break away from her clit. The vibrations in combination with his unrelenting fingers send her spiralling over that edge she'd wanted to fall over with him. Her moans are strangled as she reaches her orgasm, the sound bringing Harry to a pile of mush below her, still working her through it.

"Mmm," she tries to form words as he hovers back over her, but she can't seem to find any. She's overcome with a multitude of emotions that she suddenly can't convey. She feels loved, she feels proud, she feels safe and she feels clean.

"Can pick this back up tomorrow, my love. You seem sedated." He jokes, kissing her lips and leaving behind a lingering taste of herself. She shakes her head, grabbing at his hips and pulling them down to her own.

"Want it now," she breathes, kissing his neck where she knows he's the most sensitive. And who is he to argue with that? He's about to stand to get an emergency condom he keeps in his closet before she clears her throat. His attention is back on her immediately, looking for any signs of hesitation.

"M' on the pill," she mutters shyly and Harry's jaw drops. He gets to have her and she'll be bare? This day could not get any better.

"God, you're perfect. I love you," he reminds her, peppering kisses to every inch of her face possible before reaching down to take her hands and guide them to his pants. "You do this bit. You've waited long enough," Harry encourages her, slipping both their fingers into the band before letting go of hers.

When she yanks them down, she's floored. That's what I've been missing? She thinks. It's thick and tall, standing between them with a certain strength and glory. He doesn't miss the look in her eye, but he doesn't call her out on it. He has all the time in the world to tease her about her awe of his cock another day.

"Sure you want to do this?" Harry checks for the hundredth time. She kisses his nose and nods before taking a deep breath.

"I'd never regret this. I'd regret if we didn't." She assures him, gripping his torso in one hand as to brace herself. He nods, knowing her word is final.

He's gentle as he strokes himself and even gentler as he lines his cock up with her delicate little hole. He cannot believe he's about to have sex with the love of his life. He can't believe how lucky he is to be her first. Her real first. The first lover to have her this way, the only man who gets to say she's his.

The initial push causes a sting to shoot through her lower half, throwing her mind to the last time she'd felt it, but she powers through. It's Harry. It's her lover. The man she trusts with her entire life. She hears his breath hitch instantly, only having pushed the tip and a bit more in. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, indulging in the feel of his girl before opening them to check on her.

"You okay, beloved?" He asks, voice beyond strained. When she gives him a nod, he pushes more of himself into her until she's hitting his side. His head snaps to the side, expecting a look of fear or pain, but to his utter surprise, he sees a look of pure bliss. He knows he's up against her spot, feeling the rough patch massage his tip. He uses this knowledge to his advantage, bottoming out at this angle, catching the spot the entire time he glides in and sending her into a frenzy of sorts. Her legs instantly locking onto his hips, giving him little leeway to do much else but fuck into her right onto her spot. She clenches around him as he pulls back, almost like she didn't want him to move his hips away from hers for even a moment.

"Feels, god! Feel so good, angel. My sweet baby, yeah? Feel good for you?" Harry rambles, nipping the skin of her neck to distract himself from blowing his load right then.

She's a mess, physically unable to stay put for more than one thrust. She never thought she'd be doing this, never thought she'd even make it through the year last year. The fact that it's her Harry just pushing her further and further into space.

"Mhm, so good. What, what are you doing? S' really nice. Does it always-?" She's a moaning mess as she replies, feeling a particularly solid strike at her beloved spot that she didn't know existed until now. He chuckles at the unintended compliment to his performance.

"Feel this good? Nah, s' because we're in love," Harry begins, but the feeling was too overwhelming, causing the word 'love' to come out as if he'd been hit in the stomach with a steel baseball bat. As if the spoken emotional intimacy turned him on to a point he couldn't stop himself from coming. He couldn't help it as the feeling travelled from deep in his belly, shooting out all the love he could produce, spilling into his princess.

"Mm, fuck Harry, I'm about to-" She moans at the feeling of his warmth spreading inside her and he cuts her off with the rapid movement of his nimble fingers down to her clit, still pistoning his hips into her, prick softening but still effective as she came.

Harry collapsed on top of her, wrapping an arm around her back to press their bodies even closer. He was still inside of her and she could feel the spurts still going as she came down.

"I'm so sorry... I literally couldn't stop myself from-" Harry begins, but she laughs. Laughs like she hadn't laughed in a year. A genuine laugh that drew tears from her eyes and an ache to form in her belly. His cheeks and ears grew red as she continued to laugh, thinking she was laughing at his premature end.

"Hey, it happens to a lot of guys! And I got you off again, don't make fun of me," he pouts, beginning to retract his arm from around her before she grabs a hold of it.

"Not laughing at you, doughnut. I love you so much, and you did get me off again. I'm laughing because I feel, I don't know. Clean." She admits, kissing his temple.

"After that? Should feel right sticky, I know I do," Harry gests, leaving her a kiss to her own temple before pulling out slowly. She gasps at the hollow feeling, but she has an inkling he may not mind filling her right back up whenever she wanted.

"You know what I mean." She rolls her eyes, allowing his arms to encompass her.

"I know, baby. I'm glad you found the strength in yourself to do this. And not just because you let me shag ya." Harry hums, kissing the crown of her head.

"You're an idiot," she teases. She couldn't be more in love if she tried.

"'M your idiot."

And yeah, maybe the idiot had a point.

Thank you for reading! This was a little difficult to write for personal reasons, but I hope this piece was alright! Please share your feedback/thoughts!

#Harry Styles #harry styles fic #harrystyles #harry smut #harry styles smut #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles au #writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harrystyles oneshot #harry styles dirty #harry styles fluff #masterlist #mobile masterlist #1DFF #1d fic

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ranvwoop · 3 years

Note

TALK ABOUT AMERICAN HEALTHCARE I HAVE AN IDEA OF WHY IT'S THERE BUT I WANNA HEAR THE EXPLANATION ALSO THE ONLY HOUSE THAT"S NOT ON FIRE (YET) FOR THE SAME REASON I JUST WANNA SEE THE ANALYSIS:TM: IF U WANT I WANNA SEE IF I GOT IT RIGHT :D

Hi :DDD. Thank u for asking,,,, I have many thoughts. I am sorry in advance. This is one of those things I will put under a readmore because I am into rambling. IT GOT A LOT LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED IM SORRY. Like. a lot. It was 4 pages in google docs because i dont trust tumblr to save my drafts

Okay a lot of my Ranboo thoughts are about the syndicate / boreal trio / peerpressure duo. But you’re probably aware I am a Them enthusiast first and both a dsmp enjoyer and person second. Because. I really like the syndicate. I also don’t have too too many thoughts on the more recent lore past the experiments. Once the in character monologues stopped, so did my brain. I communicate through monologue to monologue communication.

American Healthcare is actually gonna be the main reason why this is so long bc it works Very Much for like three different reasons. One sorta niche and abstracter reason is a stream that was basically never elaborated on back in March, either the day after or very close to the peerpressure Egg confrontation stream. The egg called him a coward (for some reason my brain can Only come up with the “stop saying i look like chicken little. he’s dumb, and a coward, and i am NOT a coward” vine), and he is not a coward, so he decided to make an action plan to bring the server together by acting as a mediator for all parties and try to make sure that everyone is happy, because he’s the only one that can see all sides, or something. This was where he said the big happy family™ line but other than Ranboo Become Dream?? analysis nothing else really happened and everything went along as normal.

(I also always held a little bit of suspicion on this stream actually and thought it might be the influence of the egg, because it says it can give one whatever they want, and ranboo wants to make everyone happy and this was a totally foolproof way of doing that. Sort of in a similar way that BBH is convinced that his plan will totally make Skeppy happy. But also Ranboo is just like that, but this felt a little more on the nose than usual and he did fall into the egg and made his decisions after being egged on by it, buT WE’LL NEVER KNOW, WILL WE?

… also I really wanted to see more egg conflict at the time. Peerpressure rlly got involved in the egg plot for cameos at the banquet and nothing else. I do not blame anyone and respect the ccs for all of their attempts to weave plots together but also. also…. we.. we coulda had so much…)

That was a little off topic from the point, but… he really just thinks he can save the sick… he can see that everyone on the server is unwell and is wrong but, y’know, look inwardly, the unwell is coming from inside the house. And an inherent problem of the way that the server runs. And if this is still lowkey in effect or not (idk man a) ranboo has monologued a lot I simply chose a one off from march to grow emotionally attached to and b) i think that my brain has shut off once ranboo stopped solo lore streams), it would probably go the way that most choosing to change the system from the inside goes. Which is the point of the song and stuff! He will inevitably decide what’s too far, whether he will either admit it’s a choice or just feel that it’s what he has to do. The, uh, dealing with the devil, to be polite.

in conclusion (but we are not close to done here i’m holding you for a bit longer), i think a lot about that stream and i think that shows what he wants to be, at the very least, and continuing down that path would definitely go into being far more trouble than just a noble goal of wanting to help people, from negotiating with corruption (The lobbyists, the Congressmen and lies bit) and that the server can’t really be brought together and saved like that (When things are more and more this way / Sometimes it's like they'd rather die)

THE LESS. vwoop why have you written an unnecessarily long post about one stream in your playlist character analysis reason is both more literal and piece by piece and also Syndicate, My Beloved, you know the drill. We are going line by line because I have a lot of feelings about American Healthcare, apparently.

This also comes back to that everyone on the server is doing Really Badly, all of the time, but mostly his time in L’Manburg. For one, he is pretty complacent in everything and doesn’t really accomplish much in terms of actual change, so like Well people die every day / I wouldn't have it any other way / I just think they should feel good while they are alive. An example of this is Exiled Tommy — who I’d also metaphorically put as the dead man just for funsies, since Tommy’s whole exile thing was one of the first things Ranboo experienced on the server—as he did try to be friends with Tommy and keep him company with his letters, but he still has no power over the actual issue at hand. Just trying to make it a bit more bearable. Similarly is Techno, while Ranboo still participated in the butcher army that was trying to kill him, he helped in the meantime until he “died”.

And then it’s the Realization that participating in the system doesn’t really help much, and the subsequent Everything. It could be getting mad at the whole government system and that he didn’t mean to contribute to the harm, or how he fought with Fundy using hs ideology but not in the way that Ranboo thought. It could also be standing up to his hallucination Dream, in that he doesn’t try this hard to be a good person just to be accused of helping with all of the things that he may or may not have helped with. (That is… a discussion for not right now, I don’t know.) And I think this sort of area is also where it’s like they’d rather die is also relevant, cause Doomsday. Nobody could just set aside their governments and just get along, though Ranboo had his own solution to fighting and things.

And then he joins the Syndicate! And the lyrics of the song are directly Government Bad, because government bad. Canon anarchist, has done things that he’s not proud of as a part of the government. The lines it was the government / … It got louder over the years / Until all that I could hear was flies and all.

But honestly I think in the Syndicate he’s still trying to “save the sick”! Because the Syndicate don’t All fit eye to eye either. He’s the token pacifist, and a vote against violence whenever it comes down to it. Not all anarchists are violent but Techno and Phil will probably react strongly when provoked, due to All the past events, and I live in a world where their trauma and issues get talked about as much as everyone else’s. Since everything is decided by vote it’d probably be split between them and Ranboo + Niki, who is in her healing/no longer resorting to murder arc. He’ll help them negotiate and then everything will Be Okay, ideally.

(Also I just like the idea of Ranboo believing that he is helping the people he’s living with because canonically cc!Ranboo has said he just really cares about his family and the syndicate are included in his family shut up but they also just believe they’re helping him and yes it’s self indulgent. I care them. Particularly Endduo, actually, or whatever they're called, I am not bold enough to think Ranboo looks at Techno and thinks I Can Fix Him, but. Philza Minecraft will one day talk about his feelings. One day.)

There’s also radioduo and beeduo as of recent— really I’m just saying I think that Ranboo constantly has a Need To Help People, believes he can do it, and it will come back to hurt him in the end (except for the Syndicate because I’m in denial. The Syndicate can’t fall out if they never stream together :) ).

THIS CONCLUDES THE AMERICAN HEALTHCARE PORTION OF OUR SHOW.

The Only House That’s Not on Fire Yet !! I like this one. This is also blatantly there cause Syndicate. They are the only faction that is not actively falling apart, and this could absolutely be because they never stream together. But I do not care. However we are also going to go through this one piece by piece because we’re nearing 1500 words here and I might as well embarrass myself more. I am writing an incredibly informal essay about Ranboo My _Beloved (i assume his middle name is My, and he’s just one of those people who write his full full name) and this is the third page. If you’re still reading this, I’m sorry. Here we go.

There are lines that just seem like an unwell but recovering person, and I like to sort of think that way about Ranboo in the arctic during the down time. “I feel knotted up today / But in a most exquisite way” and “I feel strangely regular / But honestly I prefer it to / The usual bizarre” are just! He’s just hanging out. He’s doing good. There is the acknowledgement that he’s usually not doing well, and all of the episodes that he’s had in the past, and it’s probably strange to be doing well in the midst of everything, and there’s probably something impending, but now? He’s doing good!

The verses directly after both of those ones are about uncertainty and trust and such, and I feel like that’s not necessarily about just One relationship but all of them. Will cause problems as long as he has an accomplice. He is not confident but he trusts and loves people.

“This suit doesn’t fit me / I made it conterfeitly” I just like to think about Ranboo in his fancy suit, but it’s just a little wrong because he actually has no idea what he’s doing. I also like to think about Ranboo in a cape to fit in with boreal trio and later the syndicate, and emerald duo had matchy blue outfits from the Antarctic Empire… and trying to fit in with them…. or maybe They make him something.. You know. Much to think about.

“Killing me with déjà vu” I think is like. A little less fun, because despite how well things are going, the enderwalk is still not resolved and he had even less answers when I started thinking “this is a ranboo song”. Just as it relates to having a strange sense of reality and stuff, which goes into specifics of enderwalk headcanons, which would make this far longer. Even though I’ve framed it as a negative, there is also the more positive note of “Oh! I just thought of how to change all the hate / Into love with the old switcheroo / Dancing in my déjà vu / You'll be dancing too” which I’d rather explain broken up but I feel like as it’s a full verse it should be together. The first part is connected to my general thoughts of him explained earlier tbh, he’s trying Very Hard to make everyone happy and fix things. And adding the second part to it is just like! He is trying to make sense of everything, and it’s not so scary as time goes by. Since the experiments where he’s been (questionably) trying to be more comfortable and get more answers.

This was very long. I am sorry. I am ending it here and probably not going to do much formatting to make it readable because it is very late o’clock and also this is four pages and 2000 words I am so sorry. But if you read this far then. Uhhh thank. ^v^.

#asks #vwoop.noises #☆graphite☆#Reader. graphite in particular. i am so sorry.#this is. kind of just embarassing actually #if you notice a tone switch at the end its cause i got tired and didnt want to finish this in the morning #and look at my past sins #2k words of analyzing r*nboo in the direction of some internet songs. not. the thing you want to think hard abot that when you wake up #ok i fell asleep looking at the post page. 10/10 #but uh otherwise thank u for asking (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

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jalapeno-princess · 4 years

Text

In Between the Lines

Librarian Jinyoung X Reader

Word Count: 2k

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Jinyoung is a librarian at your university’s library and you visit the library quite often. The two of you develop crushes on each other but you are both shy to confess to one another.

A/N: I rushed while writing this so I’m sorry if it sucks but I hope you enjoy it anon!

“Jackson, I don’t care that we’re friends, that isn’t going to stop me from bothering you about returning “To Kill a Mockingbird”. It’s four months overdue man, where is it? I’m tired of having to come up with excuses for you. I don’t understand why you borrowed it in the first place. I bet you haven’t even read it once since you checked it out.”

The older boy scoffed at his librarian friend while crossing his arms in disbelief. “I did too read it! It’s about killing a mockingbird. Duh. The title practically gives away the entire story. Fine, I’ll be honest. I’ve been meaning to bring it back for the longest time but I misplaced it just a few days ago. I’m sure it’s under the pile of dirty clothes I never end up washing—hey Park Jinyoung! Are you even listening? What are you looking at—oh. God dude, can you make it anymore obvious that you like y/n? Stop staring at her, it’s creepy. Everybody and their mothers know that you have a huge crush on her. I’m sure even she knows. You leave the library open an hour later just so you can continue gawking at her just hurry up and tell her how you feel already—I swear to God Jinyoung—“ he took his hand off of Jackson’s mouth and sent his outspoken friend a death defying glare.

“Shhhhhh! This is why my manager keeps threatening to ban you from coming here. You’re always so loud. Keep it down would you? To kill a mockingbird has nothing to do with a damn bird so return the damn book by tomorrow or I’m sending you a bill. And can you be any more louder about my feelings for y/n? If she didn’t know before, she probably knows now you loud mouth. This is why nobody tells you anything. Now get out of here.” Jackson scoffed sarcastically and stuck his tongue out before waving to Jinyoung and taking his leave.

To be quite honest, Jinyoung couldn’t give less of a shit over the missing book. Matter of a fact, he never really understood why he applied to be a librarian at his university’s library. Sure he loved reading, and the library was an extremely quiet place. That was unless one of his friends paid him an unwanted visit. He never had much to do other than to check out books, put back returned books, search through the computer if a student was looking for a specific book and to call people if their books were overdue. It was an easy job and the pay was decent considering he hardly ever did anything but sit there and watch reruns of Friends.

At one point, he even contemplated on quitting so he could focus on his studies but that all changed the first time his eyes landed on you. He didn’t notice you walk in to the library but his eyes never left your figure once when you first approached him to ask where you could find “The Great Gatsby”.

Whenever someone would ask Jinyoung where they could find a book, he would just motion them towards the shelf. However, when he found himself getting up and motioning for you to follow him as he made his way down a few rows of books, he knew he was in trouble. You were shy and soft spoken, two traits that caught his attention as soon as you began talking to him. He was quick to pick up on the crack in your voice and the redness that rose on your cheeks and he thought it was the most adorable thing ever.

As soon as he led you to the literature section, there was something inside of him that didn’t want to leave your presence just yet. “This is actually one of my favorite books. Are you required to read it for a class or are you just reading it to read it?”

You scrunched your nose while shaking your head and Jinyoung could’ve sworn he’s never seen anything cuter. “I’ve been actually wanting to read it for a while now, but I never had the chance to. Luckily, we have to write a six page essay about it for my English class.”

He hummed in acknowledgment. “Have you seen the movie? It’s an actual shit show if you ask me. It’s nothing like the book. I don’t think any movie does any justice for the novel it’s based on.” You giggled softly on how irritated he seemed when talking about the movie. He opened his mouth to continue but then he felt a vibration in his pocket. “I’m needed at the front desk. It was nice meeting you—um—“ he scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. How could he not have learned your name before talking nonsense to you?

“Y/n. My name is y/n.” He gave you a gentle smile before slowly making his way towards the front.

“Nice meeting you y/n. Don’t hesitate to ask me any questions. You know where to find me! Happy reading!” Once he took his seat back at the counter, he face palmed himself and groaned in frustration. Happy reading? Who says that? He felt like such an awkward loser but he knew it was because he didn’t know how to act around you.

Park Jinyoung wasn’t one to get involved with girls. He was always so focused on his studies, his job and his pet rabbit that he never had the time for any sort of relationship. Nobody ever caught his eye before. However, he couldn’t get the image of your pretty little face out of his mind.

From that day on, Jinyoung made it his goal to try and talk to you every time you came in to the library. To his delight, you seemed to frequent the library quite often and you’d always stop by the front desk to say hi to Jinyoung before going to study or find a book to read. Jinyoung would put books away as an excuse to talk with you and whenever he felt like the conversation was flowing well between the two of you, he would completely forget the task at hand and give you his full attention.

Unfortunately, Jinyoung was a coward and could never build up the guts to tell you how he felt, leaving the two of you in an awkward position. You weren’t necessarily friends, no matter how badly the two of you wanted to be but you weren’t exactly strangers either. In your short talks together, you learned quite a lot about the mysterious and extremely handsome librarian. He was a law major trying to save enough money to open up his own book store. His favorite show was Parks and Recreations, he liked going to the beach when it was storming out and swam in the rain, his favorite color was navy blue and he was allergic to broccoli.

You enjoyed spending as much time with him as you could but you didn’t understand what it meant. Something about the way he listened to you and looked at you like you were some kind of marvel as you explained your obsession with Keanu Reeves caused you to grow more and more curious about Jinyoung and it made your heart desire things you know you shouldn’t be wanting.

The more you developed feelings for him, the harder it was going to the library and seeing him knowing that you wanted more than just the simple hellos and small talk in between the bookshelves. It’s been months since your first initial meeting and he’s done nothing to make a move on you, so you felt as if he didn’t see you that way and you accepted it for what it was.

Right after Jackson left, Jinyoung couldn’t help but think about his words. Was it obvious that he had feelings for you? Were you aware of it? And how did you feel about him? Jinyoung wanted nothing more than to be the one you went running to whenever life got hard. Every time you would bring up how rough your day was going, he wanted to be the one to make it better. He wanted to take you out on cute little dates, stay up talking to you on the phone, hold you in his arms while looking at the sunset, learn more about your likes, dislikes, and he wanted to know how it felt to be loved by someone. By you.

He’s found himself multiple times reading excerpts from books that reminded him of you and the way your smile would light up the room. There were occasions where he would even highlight passages in some of the libraries’ books that reminded him of you and it got to the point where his manager was having him look for the culprit. As he began to come up with ways to ask you out, he didn’t even notice what time it was until you approached the desk.

“Hey.” His breath hitched at the sight of you. You pulled out your hair from the bun it was in earlier and Jinyoung couldn’t help but stare at you in all your beauty. Whenever you would come in to the library, your hair was always in in either a braid, bun or ponytail. This was the first time he got to see how your hair framed your pretty face and he was on the verge of a breakdown. You felt self conscious under his stare and waved your hand in front of his face to break him out of his reverie and smiled to yourself when you noticed the blush that was now on his cheeks.

“Hi, sorry. I um—sorry.” You giggled as you gave him the book you were holding. “Ah, Looking for Alaska. A great choice. The movie just came out a few weeks ago.” There he was again, telling you about the book’s movie. Whenever you went to borrow a book, if there was a movie for it, he’d always bring it up and you always wanted for him to lead it in to more.

“Have you seen it?” He shook his head in disagreement.

“Nope. I’ve been wanting to though.” With the confidence you didn’t know you were capable of, you spoke up, finally making your move on the handsome boy in front of you. If he didn’t harbor the same feelings for you, then you’d accept it for what it was and just stop going to the library altogether. But you wouldn’t know how the older boy felt if you didn’t ask. The worst thing he could do was say he didn’t feel the same. You could feel your heart rate increase as you began to think about what you would say to him, but the words just fell out before your mind could process them.

“Would you maybe want to watch it together sometime?”

Jinyoung could’ve sworn his heart was about to jump out of his chest at your offer. Did this mean what he could only hope and dream that it meant? “Yes! Ah—I mean I’d love to—sure—God what is going on with me today—“ the gentle kiss that was placed on his cheek made him freeze.

“I like you, Park Jinyoung. And a little birdie might or might not have told me you like me too.”

The idea of Jackson telling you of his feelings for you made his blood boil, but he wasn’t going to let his now negative feelings for his friend ruin the moment with you that he’s been dreaming of for months. “I uh—that might be true—it is true—why can’t I form actual sentences—I like you a lot y/n. More than I’m willing to admit if I’m being honest and I’m sorry it took so long. But I’d be happy if you’d let me take you out on a date.”

You beamed up at him while nodding in agreement and before you knew it, he exited the counter and made his way towards you.

“Oh, and that cute little peck isn’t going to cut it.”

As you were about to ask him what he meant, his lips were on yours. He brought his hands up to your face and cupped your cheeks while molding your lips together. His lips were chapped and rough against yours, but you loved how it felt as if your body was in flames by the ministration. Every time he would talk with you, you’d find yourself absentmindedly staring at his pretty, pouty lips and wanted nothing more than to experience what they felt like against yours. Now that you’ve had a taste, you didn’t think you’d ever be able to get enough.

“You know y/n, we can skip the date and we can just make out in here all night.”

You playfully shoved his arm to prevent him from seeing the effect he was having on you. He squeezed your hips while leaving soft, chaste kisses on the juncture of your neck. The feeling of how close your bodies were together as he continued showing love to your body was driving you to the brink of insanity and earned Jinyoung a breathy moan.

“Shhhh baby, we’re in a library remember? You’re going to have to keep it down. Keep the volume up and I’m just going to have to teach you a lesson.”

#got7 imagines #park jinyoung #got7 #got7 jinyoung #got7 preferences #got7 drabbles #got7 fluff

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i-believe-in-soriku · 4 years

Text

Essay Part 2: The Deepest Relationship

Now that I have explained how Riku is a strong character with is OWN development and his OWN personanity, I can talk about his relationship with Sora. Sora is also a developed character, even if his evolution is less spectacular than Riku's. I'm not here to talk about Sora so I'll probably give you links to wonderful analysis I've read.

If I mention that, it's because I want to point at something which is very important in terms of writing. To write a relationship between two characters (or more, but here it's two), the two characters involved must be developed. That's important to understand the dynamics between them, why they like each other, why their relationship exists and why it works. And this rule applies to all kinds of relationships.

Indeed, those conditions are filled with Sora and Riku's relationship.

Actually, the producer himself admits that their relationship is the very heart of the series:

"The fact is that the main focus of the series is Sora and Riku; how their friendship develops, but also how they grow up."

Now, let's see how their relationship works. Because it works. Whether you see it as friendly or romantic doesn't matter, it works the same.

The two of them were childhood friends. It is told in BBS and KH: they used to spend all their time together, inventing stories and dreaming about adventures. They kind of promised to protect each other at the really early age of 4 and 5.

Aqua: Sora, do you like Riku?

Sora: Of course I like him, he's my best friend!

Aqua: Good. So then, if something happens, and Riku is about to get lost--or say, he starts wandering down a dark path alone--you make sure to stay with him and keep him safe. That's your job, Sora, and I'm counting on you to do it, okay?

*Sora nods*

As they grew up, a distance has settled between them. I have already talked about what caused that distance. KH is not the best moment of their friendship but, believe it or not, it is essential to its development. Both guilt and love pushed Riku to seek to make amends with Sora, to protect him:

Sora, on his side, wasn't resentful against Riku at all -all he wanted was to find his friend back and make things the way they were before.

But it soon became clear to them that such a thing was impossible. Too many things had changed due to Riku's actions and the hardships they had to face. They had to stick the pieces back, and tried their best to do so. Sora tried to find back Riku during CoM and KH2.

Sora (beginning of KH2): Well, I'm gonna go look for Riku. Then he and I can go back to the islands together.

Riku tried to help Sora recover his memories and he watched his friend during his sleep.

And it didn't mattered to them that one year has passed, their goal never changed. When Sora woke up, Riku kept on protecting him, Sora kept on searching for him. Both of them wanted to recover something that mattered to them - that is to say, their best friend. Is it forced? No. It follow the events of KH. It is the consequence of what happened before.

When they finally find each other during the events of KH2, the feelings expressed by Sora (happiness, relief) and by Riku (shame, doubt) underline how much they care about each other.

Sora: Why didn't you let me know you were okay?

That's not like Sora's and Kairi's reunions, where all we can see is a promise - something that Sora and Riku also share - and mere relief, joy. I don't say Sora is not happy to be reunited with Kairi and vice-versa. It's just that when they do, the poor development Kairi is given prevents these scenes from being as powerful as Sora's and Riku's reunion(s).

Indeed, when they found each other in KH2, after a rough fight with Xemnas, what is the first thing that happens between them?

A heart-to-heart conversation.

That is sweet, and illustrates that, yes, they share a special bond. But what I like the most with this scene in the Dark Margin, is that it's the undeniable proof of what I've said before.

Those boys are trying to line the scattered pieces of their frienship up - and the way they do it is simple, touching. They are just being honest with each other while talking about their past feelings for each other - and also the one they experience in the present moment:

Riku: What I said back there...about thinking I was better at stuff than you... To tell you the truth, Sora... I was jealous of you.

Sora: What for?

Riku: I wished I could live life the way you do. Just following my heart.

Sora: Yeah, well, I've got my share of problems, too.

Riku: Like what?

Sora: Like...wanting to be like you.

Riku: Well, there is one advantage to being me... Something you could never imitate.

Sora: Really? What's that?

Riku: Having you for a friend.

Sora: Then I guess...I'm okay the way I am. I've got something you could never imitate too.

That is so sincere that I don't get why people keep on saying that their relation is forced.

Their story, however, is not over yet. Dream Drop Distance is the the highlight for the writing of their common story. I have already written a post about their bonds in KH3D, so I'll resume what I said, and add new elements. DDD is pretty smart because it depicts the link between Sora and Riku even though they're separated during almost the whole game.

At the beginning of the game, Riku and Sora are at Master Yen Sid's Tower, and he says that they have to pass the Mark of Mastery Exam. It is really important to Riku, but for Sora, it is quite useless. Still, Sora decides to pass the exam with Riku in order to motivate and support him.

Sora: But that's a formality, right? I already proved myself. Me and the king, and Riku--we can take on anything. Right, Riku?

Riku: I don't know. I think that in my heart, darkness still has a hold. Walking that path changed me. I'm not sure if I'm ready to wield a Keyblade. Maybe I do need to be tested.

Sora: Riku... Then count me in. Put me through the test! Just watch--me and Riku will pass with flying colors!

This element shows that the two of them trust each other. Which is the proof that their conversation on that dark beach has definitely recovered their bonds - their trust in each other, the fact that they can rely on each other no matter what.

That is an evolution, not just a "return to the way it was before". Because the dynamic between them has changed. Sora is the one Riku rely on. Sora is the one "in advance". Sora is the one confident and cool. (at least in Riku's eyes). But Riku is not jealous anymore. That's different.

The game has also a lot of interesting scenes. In Traverse Town, for instance, we """learn""" (in case it wasn't clear until that moment...) that Sora is Riku's most important person.

Beat: I just...wanna protect the one person who matters.

Riku: I know the feeling.

On Sora's side, by his own words, they are always together, even when they are separated:

Sora: Don't worry. He's with me--even when it might seem like he's not.

In La Cité des Cloches, the Quasimodo/Riku parallel shows that Riku his still holding back stuff inside of him.

Quasimodo: Master Frollo--he made me live inside the bell tower, but the real walls were the ones I built around my heart. You helped me see that, Riku.

Riku: I was...speaking from...personal experience.

Given the context, it is clear that it is a reference to Riku's feelings for Sora, especially if we take a look at Quasimodo's feelings for Esmeralda, and Esmeralda's and Phœbus words.

In Monstro, Riku says that Sora is his conscience, and even talks about "his stupid grin", what's.. extremely tender?!

Jiminy: You must have somebody--a friend you can talk to?

Riku: Yeah...actually, I do. That stupid grin he's always wearing--he's the best teacher I could ever have.

The Symphony Of Sorcery is also full of elements, like the fact that Sora considers that Riku is always there for him...

Sora: Don't worry. I've got a friend out there who will help. He's always picking up the slack for me.

...which was actually proved in game:

So yeah, the game does not only say that Riku is here for Sora, it actually shows that. And the fact that they share a "heart song" is purposely here to illustrate how strong their relationship is.

Mickey: It's like each of you is holding on to a little part of the other. Your hearts are always in tune, so they're free to sing.

Mickey even says that, when they're together, their heart are "free to sing". And it is true: they can be their true selves together, they know they can trust each other, they are comfortable with each other.

Riku being Sora's Dream Eater is a major point in his character but ALSO another proof that he cares really much about Sora and that it is instinctive, natural - he doesn't even realize it until someone points out this """detail""".

Another scene that, for me, is important to proove that their relationship is NOT forced is the moment when Riku is named Master. Sora is not upset, he's sincerely happy for Riku:

Sora: I knew you were gonna pass with flying colors. This is just so awesome!

Watching his reactions, it's easy to see that he knew how important it was to Riku:

And finally, KH3 is the consequence of this development. Riku and Sora have achieved a balance together, between trust in each other and independence. In this game, Sora wants to protect Riku, Riku wants to protect Sora - and he actually found the strenght to do it. Riku cheers Sora up, believes in him, the same way Sora did for him before:

In the end, Riku is, once again, the one who's saving Sora. In fact, I would say they constantly save each other - sometimes save and being saved is the same thing.

So, yeah, I don't know if it was clear... but what I meant is that every single KH game where those boys are present - that is to say the large majority of them - shows how they both evolve individualy but also how their relationship evolves to become something better, something greater. The way it is written follows a perfect logic, a dynamic that corresponds to the state of the two characters and the context in which the action takes place.

Once again, regarding the care that is taken to tell their story, it is unfair to say that their relationship is forced. ESPECIALLY if it is compared to Sora's relation to Kairi. It is simply incomparable.

Intro • Part 1

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soranihimawari · 4 years

Text

where he loved you

you would count on one hand the various times you’ve been in love. their names were “who,” “what,” “when,” “where,” and finally, “why.” those prompting words belonged to different boys throughout your school years since you entered junior high. you had often heard your mother chatting with your neighbor, one of the parents of the twin boys who were curious about the timid kid who lived a few houses down the block. for the life of you, you could not come up with a good enough excuse, even at the ripe old age of ten years old, to remove yourself from eating dinner at the miya household. the twins in your class were always causing mayhem with their crazy hijinks during recess, yet your mother shot you a glare saying you were going with her and that was that.

so when your mother suggested you wear your “fancy” clothes for the welcoming dinner party you weren’t expecting one of those twin demons to actually compliment your jumper dress. you had your bangs pinned to the side with small fox shaped barretts. you looked up at your mom who nudged your shoulder cuing your ten year old self to say, “thanks ‘samu.” his brother, atsumu, on the other hand, sent you a curious glance, but nonetheless showed you all their lego sets. right before you and your mother left their house, you extended both of your pinkies to the twins (who were surprisingly calmer at home) making them promise to be your first best friends ever.

at ten years old, you realize you might begin liking living in a new part of hyogo.

-- SEVERAL YEARS LATER: inarizaki high school, free period --

“oi! y/n-san! you got miyas on your three o’clock,” your classmate, nagisa-chan, called out to you and you inhaled a deep breath, then upon the exhale you heard atsumu’s voice reverberate from the entrance to your classroom.

“hey there baby cakes,” atsumu always had greeted you with wonderful terms of endearment. every day it was something new and rather than make a fuss over the one he called you today, you just went along with it. “listen there was something ‘samu and i needed a third party to settle for us.”

the sound of his voice seemed to be in it’s jovial range, meaning the now blond-haired twin was feeling a little overly confident. you mentally calculated the amount of steps it would take the twins to approach your desk allowing you to mentally prepare for whatever it was atsumu was going to throw at you. when you reached the holy number of seven (they took broader strides ever since they grew taller), atsumu was walking toward your desk with his brother not too far behind. they were dressed in their athleisure gear for their club while you were still seen in your uniform. you were writing down the last part of your essay on the allusions to nature from the western romantic authors of the 18th century, but you took a break every now and then to enjoy a sip of canned hot cocoa.

“and praytell what would that be, ‘tsumu?” you folded your arms neatly on your desk. throughout the past six years, you grew up alongside the miya twins, so you were already accustomed to the way atsumu furrowed his brows as a silent tell that he was about say something stupid.

“now i need you to be one-percent honest with me.”

“miya atsumu, we’ve known each other for the last six years, built dozens of castles made from legos, hell, i even watched you get your first kiss on the jungle gym last year by the park close to home, and now you’re wondering if my honesty is real?” you were enjoying atsumu’s face fall into a panic when you recounted all of the milestones he bragged to you about. stifling a laugh, you glanced behind atsumu’s shoulder returning osamu’s nod of salutations. “see? this is why my other friends think osamu is the better twin.“

“hah!” osamu scoffed unaware of your small increase heartbeat. your brain clearly labeled it as nerves, but the muscle in your chest cavity said otherwise. yes, you did grow up together, so you were accustomed to how each of them grew into their features and you’d have to be blind to the way your circle of girl friends fawned over the volleyball siblings. “see, this is why i’m glad she made us make that pinkie promise.”

“shut it ‘samu.”

you poked atsumu’s cheek with the back of the pen you were using, a useful tactic to discipline him for being rude to his sibling thus causing the blond setter to laugh too.

“now, what exactly do you want me to settle for you two?” you asked, removing the pen from atsumu’s face.

atsumu turned to face his brother for a moment before shrugging their shoulders as if to say, “just ask her. it’s not that hard man.”

“we was wonderin’ if you prefer sweet snacks over onigiri,“ atsumu stammers. “i said you always liked sweets. you always ate candy whenever you came over.”

“uh-huh. well, that part may be true, ‘tsum,“ you begin. then you let out a short giggle. “but i do prefer eel onigiri over sweets. sorry ‘tsum.”

then, without any forewarning, atsumu decided to spill one of the biggest secrets he was for sure going to get yelled at for at home before he turned on his heels to leave:

“okay good. because i’m pretty sure my little brother is going to make you eel onigiri to go along with his confessing his undying love for you.“

“huh?!“ you and osamu both exclaimed when you jumped up from your desk. all color drained from the younger twin’s face as he recalled confiding in his brother how he really felt about you earlier that school year after you three walked home one spring afternoon in your first year.

when the rest of the class heard what atsumu had mentioned, the girls in your class gave the soundtrack from live t.v. a chorus of “awws,” were heard as you seized both of the siblings hands and politely, yet hastily, dragged them both outside of your homeroom. you dragged them into the music room and immediately shut the door behind you.

“i never once wanted to be an only child up until ten minutes ago,” you heard osamu mumble when you walked past him. you glanced up at his brother for brief moment before letting out an exasperated sigh.

“atsumu, i don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but you should know better than either of us, it’s not nice to play with other people’s feelings. especially when it involves the three of us.“ you said as you paced back and forth in front of them. “i suggest you leave now before osamu makes good on his promise of wanting to be an only child. i’ll see you after practice, yeah?”

atsumu nodded, he had knowing smirk once he closed the door again, leaning against it to keep watch (aaand to eavesdrop).

osamu ran a hand through his now dark gray hair, his eyes focusing on everything else but you. his secret was out thanks to atsumu, which wasn’t part of how he was going to confess to you at all, yet life finds away. especially when karma presented itself so deliciously in his brother’s lap.

“now that ‘tsumu’s gone, mind explaining to me what he meant by ‘confessing his undying love’?” you inquired. you stopped pacing at that point to study how osamu stood across from you thinking about how to feign innocence prior to abandoning all reasonable excuses. his marble gray eyes visibly softening soaking up the way the sun had decided to shroud you in a golden hue. your hair was brushed back behind your neck since your pacing had caused it to flutter about behind you.

“’samu, why are you just standing there looking at me like that? do i have something on my face?” your voice brought his thoughts to a screeching hault.

instead, with whatever courage osamu had stored, he gripped your shoulders gently leaning in.

“you can stop me if this is weird for you,” his words danced across your cupid’s bow. and when your hands find their resting place around his shoulders when you slightly stood up on your tip-toes, closing your eyes you closed the short gap between you and osamu’s lips. if someone were to ask osamu what kissing you felt like, he would tell them your mouth tasted like first of november; warm and bright, similar to the feeling of drinking hot cocoa for the first time that year. when you break the kiss as you returned to standing flatly on the ground, the two of you realize something together.

“i’ve been in love you since the day you came over for the first time when we were ten,” osamu says, a coy smile finds its way to his mouth. your curious eyes widen at the brazen forwardness of his statement, you close and open your mouth feeling your breath hitching in your throat, so you just nod. osamu instead of releasing your shoulders from his hands, he pulls your body flush against his own; you swear you could hear how erratic his heart was nervously beating. all this was because of you.

“osamu?“ your voice was timid this time when your hand traces tiny spirals on his shoulder blades in a way to relieve some of his outlying anxiety spewing forth from his confession.

“hmm?”

“count to ten for me, yeah?” you feel him hum again; you remove your left hand away from his shoulder and cup the side of his face. he leaned into your palm with eyes closed as if he were about to cry like the one time he scraped his knee after his bike flipped over at the park when you were eleven, but having you cradle his head in your tiny hands prevented him from doing so. when he reached nine, you gave yourself a mental pep talk right as he finished counting...

ever so slowly, inexorably, you press your lips onto his again. the action was kind, gentle, and chaste. it was then that you both notice that maybe there’s no fireworks or sparks like in the movies you forced the twins to watch with you on valentine’s day, but it’s better than anything the scripts could come up with – there is a wave of passion that fills his mind up with memories of how much he craved for you to return all those stolen glances atsumu would tease him for days on end; it was spilling out from his heart now and you were relentless in letting osamu know how much those mutual feelings were returned by fact you allow yourself to deepen this embrace the further you both plummet in desire.

by the time you exit the classroom, hand in hand with osamu leading the way, you pretend to not notice the way atsumu had this “i told you so” air about him.

you and osamu were sixteen years old when it dawned on you that you had fell in love for the fourth time (osamu would essentially be the one to teach you the lesson of “where you love”) completely unaware that your new lover’s twin brother swallowed his pride for just a second to realize you were the one to teach him the answer for “why he loves.”

—bonus inspiration photo collage below—

disclaimer: I found all these images on Pinterest & used the borders app to collage the images. all content belong to the original owners.

thanks for reading!

#who what when where and why #miya osumu #osamu x reader #hq fictions #love is a messy thing #fluff with a twist!#back on my nonsense #⌚️queued

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thehuns-bubble-tea · 4 years

Text

So guess who finally wrote the SaiZon essay I promised months ago! @there-is-a-carrot-in-my-ear’s post was the last bit of encouragement I needed so thanks for that lol.

I am going to go episode by episode to talk about all the SaiZon scenes. I am using the official LineTV episodes and some of the translations are a bit weird so I will have to occasionally make assumptions with the dialogue, sorry in advance for that. If I happen to assume wrong or make stretch conclusions forgive me for I only have one brain cell and it’s currently bouncing around my head like a window’s screensaver. I am also going to mention some of the behind the scenes episodes so if you haven’t seen those you might be slightly confused, but I don’t have international links for them so I apologize! Also this ended up being 18 pages long- I AM SORRY.

So let’s start with part one of episode one shall we? The beginning starts off weird as hell, honestly I had forgotten how crack this show was after the last few episodes were so- normal? Anyway we are dropped off in Zon’s dream(???) where he sees Tutor and Fighter being cute, and then an absolute precious Saifah- except it is really weird to start off here. This dream doesn’t seem to belong at the beginning because nothing that sets up this dream has happened yet, which I only realized as I rewatched it. Zon doesn’t know about Tutor and Fighter’s relationship until episode 11 and he doesn’t actually know Saifah yet, so to have Zon have this dream as the literal introduction to the show is a bit of either foreshadowing or referencing the idea that this whole show is a dream/Zol’s novel which I think is quite interesting. I don’t have much else to say about this besides I am incredibly impressed with how well this scene garners interest- it’s like I’m watching for the first time again and I /need/ to understand what is going on. Also the animated Zon freaking out about Saifah getting too close? Mood.

There was no SaiZon part in part two so moving on to part three of episode one! This part starts off with Saifah playing the guitar surrounded by a bunch of girls and Zon walking up from behind, seeing him. As much as I would like to say “love at first sight” this is definitely not that- in fact Zon straight up tells the girls they don’t like each other. Which is fair honestly, these two at the beginning don’t seem to have anything in common. Saifah is an engineering student while Zon is a english(literature???) student so they wouldn’t be able to get close through classes and they don’t seem to share many face value interests (Sai with guitar and soccer, Zon with writing and generally “nerdy” stuff) so it would be easy for them both to write each other off. Definitely not a “I hate him” but more of a “I don’t know him and I don’t want to” kinda situation where unless outside forces brought them together they wouldn’t have even considered entering each other’s lives. So shout out to Tutor and Soda for being mvps! This part also gives us the iconic moment of Zon literally standing on a table to fight Saifah and like??? Hello??? The tension already here is so much- but here’s the thing! Why R U has set up their relationship to be that of “enemies” up to this point, so when you first watch it you’re like “hm Sai is trying to get a rise out of Zon because he thinks it is funny because they hate each other” but what Sai says isn’t necessarily mean. Yes Sai does tease Zon about being bad at everything, but after that he just flutters his eyelashes, calls himself cute, and does that cute little smile up at Zon. There is no real hurt behind his words, if that makes sense? It is very much a teasing jeer at Zon to get a reaction, and the second Zon stands on the table Sai smiles and seems to take pride at the action. He isn’t doing it out of hatred or evil, but more like the joy of seeing Zon riled up. Sai blames his actions on disliking Zon because of reasons they’re currently only alluding to but like- bro get over it? There’s no reason for Sai to act like that if that was his only motive so I call his bluff, he has to already be somewhat interested in Zon. Even if it’s not a crush yet he definitely enjoys Zon’s reactions enough to keep pressing buttons.

Finally the end of episode one with part four. Finally! The, also iconic, punch to kiss scene! Sai is smooching the girl Zon is pursuing, it’s upsetting for Zon and Sai is kinda rude about it- then WHAM. Zon, the absolute unit that he is, just fucking decks Saifah. When I tell you I screamed- This is especially important because the thing that finally makes Zon snap is Saifah’s “no one can like you” comment which is so hurtful and man he’s gonna eat his words you can just /feel/ it already. And the punch is completely valid because what Sai did was shitty and honestly Zon had every right to be mad so great moment 10/10. Then we have Sai try to retaliate and first off he misses like a huge dork and then he kinda trips into Zon which leads to them accidentally kissing. Logistically I don’t know how this happened, but who am I to complain? This is of course also Sai’s first experience with a Zontm reaction and that I think is what causes the shift in Saifah’s head. After that huge exposition piece we have Zon dreaming about Saifah in his bed talking about them being together. All I’m gonna say is- is it gay to dream about your not bro wanting to kiss you? The answer is probably yes.

No SaiZon for parts one or two of episode two, but part three gives us a bit to cover! First off- the elevator line scene where Saifah literally stares at Zon with the absolute best puppy eyes and lovesick smile is peak cuteness, like?? Hello??? This is the perfect example of what I mean when I say SaiZon were never enemies- like I can’t imagine hating someone and then letting them shoulder bump me with a “hi”. That’s not how enemies act, this is more of a “well we haven’t always gotten along but I’m willing to move on, here let’s try again” type of situation and it’s fucking adorable. Sai seems confident in his own teasing way and Zon is confused as heck, which is so valid. Mind you this is also several months after their accidental kiss so any hot blooded emotions surrounding them has definitely dissipated which means there is now room for them to grow and initiate a friendship, which is what I assume Sai is trying to do. This is also the first time we get “my Zon” and I swear everytime I hear it I astral project into another dimension, so there’s that. Also Sai fulling embracing the fact that these girls ship them is peak bi confidence (I read Saifah as a bi character don’t @ me lmao), that I can only wish to have. Like Sai seems to already genuinely like being around Zon, lightly teasing. I say this because nothing he said was a dig at Zon harshly but more like something I would say about my friends to get them to give me a funny reaction and he gets exactly that. Zon gives him a reaction and then as soon as he’s gone Sai has this very pleased smile on his face. It really feels like Saifah has already decided that he wants to have some sort of relationship with Zon, at this point I wouldn’t call it a crush yet but more like a casual friendship. Then we have Zon daydreaming about Sai asking him to be partners for the music competition thing and again I’m going to ask- is it gay to daydream about your not bro pouting and wanting to be partners? The answer is probably yes.

Part four of episode two gave us no SaiZon so we move on to part one of episode three! We get a tiny bit of animated Sai talking about flirting with Zon, Zon freaking out you know- the usual. But then we get the stair scene that haunts me. Sai has committed to calling Zon “my Zon” already and I am here for it. His fucking smile after he says it too- boy is enjoying himself. The two fight over whether or not Zon will play with Sai or not and progressively lean into each other’s spaces as they bicker back and forth. Which is valid- Zon doesn’t even know how to play and then to be asked to play with someone he doesn’t really know or get along with, I’d say no too. Anyway Tutor breaks them up drags Sai to class, but not before Sai can say goodbye to “N’Zon” which just really threw me and Zon to be honest. I love that Sai is fully committed to these nicknames and I love how flustered Zon gets because of them- they’re already starting to fall into an ease with each other. Quick note here Saifah tells Tutor that he likes teasing Zon because it makes him happy, which is kinda cute? We see Sai play around with Tor and Day a bit but the way he is with them is vastly different then when he’s with Zon. Again I wouldn’t quite call it a crush yet- but we’re getting there. For now it seems more like an enamoured fascination with this dork of a human. (also real quick side note but I love Soda and would gladly let her step on me--)

Part two of episode three gives us yet another iconic scene- I have dubbed it the gay painc shower scene for obvious reasons. First of all, props to Zon for even grabbing Sai’s towel for him. Like they might not be close, and Sai might tease Zon relentlessly, but Zon is a genuinely good person and I really like that about his character. He doesn’t even hesitate to ask “which one” so he can do that for Sai. But of course Sai has to be a little brat and try to pull Zon into the shower stall with him, causing Zon’s first almost heart attack. Then he crowds Zon up against the wall with the most sensual look and teases him by attempting to remove his towel, giving Zon almost heart attack number two- Sai is seriously a brat and I love it. The funniest part is that this, from my experience at least, is common locker room teasing which Zon clearly wouldn’t know since he’s not in the soccer club- so having Sai do this to him is clearly a point where Zon’s single working braincell goes into gay panic and just short circuits his system and once again that’s valid. Zon tells Sai no matter what he won’t play with him, man these two eat their own words a lot huh, and Sai tells him it’s really up to him. Also side note here I know Junior did this in hopes of getting Sai to convince Zon to do the talent show thingy but I fully head cannon that Junior realizes there’s /something/ going on between them and forced them into this position, do with that what you will. There is also behind the scene footage of this scene (I can’t find an international link to this specific one rip) but it shows Jimmy and Tommy fake biting each other’s fingers and it’s so cute and weird- anyway all this to say I think this is where we start to see a shift in Saifah’s attitude. He’s the one who mentions being partners, mentions kissing, and Zon being a shy Korean drama lead- he’s a huge romantic so this is where he steps up a bit more. Instead of being just a tease in the way Zon acts it is now a tease about them together, being together, testing waters almost. It’s a huge shift if you really think about it, the only thing that stays constant is Zon’s flustered reactions.

Part three of episode three once again delivers with panic gay Zon being a fucking dork. This is where we get that ridiculous moment in the bathroom when Zon thinks two dude are doing the do in a stall and presses Saifah into a wall, you know casually. This scene is so weird and just ??? why??? Saifah takes in all in stride though, this kid is seriously getting whipped quick and I relate. Zon just has such chaotic energy that it’s hard not to play along, no matter how mortifyingly embarrassing he is. Also can we talk about how every time Zon leaves an interaction with Saifah, Sai gets the biggest smile? Like that is so precious I can’t handle it, boy is WHIPPED and doesn’t even know it yet!

Part four gives us a little bit of SaiZon. Zon is distracted by his text conversation (this is not translated so I have no clue what’s being said or who he’s talking to rip) when Saifah comes up behind him. This looks so domestic- like you don’t just do that to someone you barely know, right? Also the fact that Sai can lean over Zon so far when Zon is just sitting is stressful to me. Who gave him the right to be /that/ tall? Anyway Zon goes to stand and Saifah scares him, causing him to trip backwards and have the first of many time where Sai holds Zon up and it’s romantic as heck- They both instantly know where to hold each other, and then gaze at each other’s faces I just ??? I’m short circuiting honestly. This is also the first indication to me that Sai is developing some form of feelings because he keeps looking at Zon’s eyes and lips, and that’s valid. Of course Zon ruins the mood by pushing him away but they both look hurt this time. Sai looks hurt even asking if Zon’s serious about not playing together and it’s the first time we see Sai be any bit vulnerable. He seems to genuinely hurt by the idea and it makes Zon shuffle a bit before leaving. Even when he’s gone Sai looks upset and even comments on how Zon falls easily- which is really cute. This is our first glimpse at the Saifah that seems a bit more like the hopeless romantic we get towards the end of the series, a stark contrast to the overly confident perfect boy persona he uses around the campus.

No SaiZon in part four of episode three or part one of four so on to part two- We get the music partner reveal! And to Zon’s credit he doesn’t immediately turn around and leave. Instead he is actually committed to this and Sai, to his credit, doesn’t make him feel weird. They take the fan page photos and they’re both clearly out of their element here, they’re shy and awkward and it’s precious. They’re both coming to this realization that they’re really doing this- being partners and committing to each other basically. They both seem determined but also terrified of what that means. I love it- because this isn’t about them just yet but more of their shared responsibility to Soda now that they both can’t back down. It’s a good foundation because right now they’re on equal footing, neither really has the upper hand. Soda, my queen, to her credit is trying to get them to see that their arguing isn’t going to help anyone here and it’s a fair point. They’re going to be stuck together for two months (why was I under the impression this whole time it was much longer?) and they both agree to at least attempt. I love how genuinely awkward these scenes are because like I’ve said before they were never enemies but also never friends, they don’t know much about each other yet so it’s weird. What do they talk about, what are their boundaries, they don’t know and I love it. It is the perfect foundation for a fresh start for both of them to learn about each other and build a strong bond. We get a bit of Sai trying to teach Zon guitar strings and it’s a nice moment. They’re both getting comfortable with the other and then Sai plays the love song for Zon- you think Zon’s going to be set off by the moment but instead he teases Sai! He confidently both compliments Saifah and teases, it’s growth! Then Saifah settles to help Zon learn to strum, a moment where they’re very intimately pressed together and have an almost kiss. This is the first time they do the lip bite thing that I noticed they do when they think about kissing the other- and this is the first time that I think they realize their feelings aren’t just basic acquaintances. For Zon he feels something but he is also hung up on the idea that this is all Zol’s book. He is scared because he doesn’t know if these moments, these feelings are real or not. For Saifah I think he is really starting to understand how he feels for Zon, but thinks that Zon doesn’t and will not feel the same. But Sai isn’t the type to push so he just lets it go for now. Then we get the cute montage of them getting closer and teasing in more of a friendly way- again this is just solidifying in our minds and theirs that there is something growing between them. Right now it’s just a natural friendship, but is also hinting at more deep feelings. This is the part that I love the most about SaiZon- this was never a love at first sight relationship, it is one born out of something incredibly natural. They grow into each other and themselves. We start to see Saifah get more comfortable with his dorky side, and Zon gets more confident in himself because of their time together. It’s a breath of fresh air how easily they settle into the other’s presence. And of course we also get the gay pining bed scene and I, for the third time shall ask is it gay to daydream about your new bro laying in bed with you? The answer is probably yes.

Part three of episode four gives us the iconic guitar pick date (yes I understand I keep saying iconic but with SaiZon what isn’t?). This entire scene is just the cutest thing? They fall into each other so easily and they seem to have tons of fun goofing off. It reminds me of my friends and I going to shopping centers just to window shop and be together. It’s so incredibly natural and shows that they’re becoming so much closer then what they started out as. Nothing is over the top or unrealistic, instead it’s effortless and an absolute joy to witness. There’s even a deleted scene where two girls come up to ask for a photo (which is weird but whatever) and Zon gets so lost in his head about how close Saifah is- it really is a defining moment in my mind that Zon is torn. Torn between believing that his feelings are real and that this is all just being a dream from Zol’s novel. I kinda wish this scene hadn’t been deleted because it takes away from Zon’s internal struggle. When they have their little heart to heart and Zon admits that Sai is actually a good person my soul leaves my body. It is so cute and demonstrates that these two have started to grow past their initial judgements of each other and more into learning the intricacies of the other. Anyway it’s cute and I love them, moving on.

Now on to part four of episode four. This gives us the scene that fully convinces me that Saifah is just a big softly. Sai walks into the practice room to see a mess and Zon is asleep on the floor. Instead of being a brat and waking him up, Sai quietly goes around and cleans everything up because he is peak soft boy he just won’t admit it. When he does accidentally wake Zon they’re both just absolute cuties- the way Sai’s face falls when Zon said he was just kidding about wanting to wait for him- my boy is WHIPPED. But here’s the thing, and I’ll come back to this point in a bit but, the way Sai never pushes Zon on anything. It’s clear that Sai is really starting to crush on Zon the way he treats him and acts but any time Zon pulls away Sai just lets him. That’s so refreshing, especially in contrast to the way TorFight act in parallel to SaiZon. There is never an expectation for Zon to meet Sai’s desires and Sai takes only what Zon is willing to offer, and I appreciate it so much. Anyway their little collective panic when Sai tries to take Zon to his room is hilarious they’re both on such different pages and they really are just dorks. And then we have the typical in the rain sequence- oh my gosh- I love some good classic tropes and this is one of them. Once again we see Saifah just be an absolute romantic, he doesn’t even hesitate to take off his jacket to cover Zon and himself. I just- that’s peak romance for me my dudes. Both me and Sai are whipped and that’s just facts. Then Zon (somehow??) forgets how to stand on two legs and trips yet again and we have another close contact scene, but this time there noses touch and Zon’s reaction isn’t nearly as visceral as it has been- it’s almost like he likes the attention up until his mind thinks it’s too close to a novel and he gets scared.

On to episode five’s part one! Zon is finally in Sai’s room and we get the cute hair drying scene that Zon doesn’t appreciate as much as I do- anyway Zon is freaking out and Saifah doesn’t fully understand what he’s babbling on about but still gets his chance to tease. It is once again cute and effortless, I crave more of this (SaiZon special episode I’m looking at you). Sai is getting a bit more confident with his advances but always pulls back the moment Zon freaks, it’s completely them. And then we get them waking up in each other’s arms, the screaming, Zon being an absolute moron. This is why these two are /the/ couple for me. Like no one else could pull this scene off nearly as well as them, it’s great. Also Saifah pulling a 2Moons2 Kit and just yeeting Zon off the bed? Iconic, that’s it that’s the analysis.

Part two of episode five has a moment that’s not a SaiZon scene but I do feel like it’s important in their relationship- Zol tells (well lies but Zon doesn’t know that-) about changing the story after their promise/wish/curse. This is the point where Zon can finally take what he has been experiencing and feeling in for the first time with a clear head. It’s no longer “possibly” influenced by supernatural forces because of Zol. This is when Zon decides “oh this is real, these feelings are real”, and you can tell that the way Zon acts around Saifah is considerably more calm and open to Saifah’s advantages to a point. Occasionally he still talks about it everything being similar to a fiction but he isn’t held back by it nearly as much. Then we get SaiZon practicing in the music room again and being interrupted by Natee and Junior, they kinda make Zon nervous about the show- until Saifah steps in. He confidently tells Zon he believes in him and that he will be there for him and I just- oh my god?? That’s so soft and I swear Saifah is the biggest soft boy ever who is willing to do anything to lift Zon up and that’s precious. They really are slowly starting to get on the same page.

Moving on to episode six part two (this is where we start to see less SaiZon due to the pandemic limiting their filming time)! This episode gives us Zon asking Sai on a guitar buying date. And lemme tell you the way these two act? WHIPPED. They both get so shy and tease the other the perfect amount, they really have grown into each other in ways I don’t think any of us expected. The cute little happy dance they do when they agree and hang up? Boyfriends, just like ??? hello??? Mind you they agree to go the Saturday before the show so they have now spent almost the full two months together- I can’t even believe it. They have had this relationship grow for two months and we’ve only been able to see glimpses, just imagine what we don’t get to see! Anyway we see Saifah being peak baby all bundled up sharing headphones with Zon- which is like peak romance for me I won’t even apologize. And then the pure excitement Saifah has when Zon suggests he stays over at Saifah’s- WHIPPED. He even suggests that there might be something between them when Zon questions their closeness, but the moment Zon wants to change the subject Sai follows his lead, like I’ve mentioned before Sai is not one to ever push Zon for more because he respects Zon so much.

Part three of episode six gives us the rooftop scene! The lingering looks! “The stars are beautiful.”, “It is beautiful-” as Saifah looks at Zon with those soft eyes! THE GAYS ARE PINING. And then them playing together. I am crying??? I can’t even form sentences, I can’t analyze, I just am going to sit here for a moment and think about how this romance is goals. That’s it.

Part four is full of SaiZon just being huge teases. Saifah confidently pulls Zon into him, asking if Zon is afraid of falling in love with him and I just- the way Zon looks at Sai? He’s already in love, and no I don’t take criticism. That’s it, that’s the analysis.

Part one of episode seven is the scene that made me want to write this essay- we have Zon and Saifah in the most intimate scene yet for them. It really is just a back and forth between them that is simple and wholly them. And then it shifts- Zon is looking at Saifah so softly, and is easily going along with what Saifah is doing with no hang ups. Saifah is looking up at Zon like he’s hung the stars and it’s the perfect moment. “You’re being so obedient, be like this more often. I like it”, “I like it too”, even the music is just perfect, but right at the last second Zon looks away. “I didn’t mean I like you.” and Saifah clearly looks disappointed, everything leading up to this was pointing in this direction and it didn’t happen. Saifah very clearly has feelings, he isn’t even trying to be subtle anymore, but not once does Saifah push for more. He backs off and settles down into a level that matches Zon’s comfort zone, because he cares about Zon’s comfort more than his own feelings. They have a moment for the comfort to level out once again and then they’re back to their usual selves. They’re back onto an equal field where they’re both just being themselves together- and they have another almost kiss that Sai does try to play off. Zon is still a bit spooked but it is still another testament to Saifah’s respect of Zon’s boundaries. This is where yet another deleted scene happens that I desperately wish they kept- it shows Zon fast asleep grab at Saifah until he’s completely draped over him. Saifah holds him, very similarly to a scene we will get to shortly, and the smile on Sai’s face? This boy is so in love but also so careful with Zon’s limitations, that just being able to hold Zon is enough to put him at ease. And we were ROBBED of it. Why R U editors turn on your location, I just wanna talk-

Part two of episode seven gives us the most cursed scene that, like Zon, I wish I could forget. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it but the second hand embarrassment is excruciating so for the sake of my sanity I’m gonna kinda gloss over it? Zon sees Sai’s boner, it causes Zon’s single brain cell to explode, that’s it- MOVING ON. On the bright side it also gives us SaiZon’s first public performance together. I assume this is to hype up the actual show, I don’t really care, all I care about is how earnest Saifah is with Zon. Zon is terrified of performing and Saifah is there to cheer him on. He is willing to let Zon leave if it means Zon will be more comfortable and he genuinely doesn’t want to push Zon into anything. Zon finally calms down enough to agree to stay and sing- and then Saifah starts rubbing his hands to give some comfort. The dialogue in this scene will forever go down as one of my favorite exchanges ever- “Are you okay with having me beside you?” SAIFAH HONEY. This one sentence holds everything in it. Is it okay that Saifah tried to kiss him? Is it okay that he got turned on? Is it okay that Saifah clearly has some sort of feelings for Zon? AND ZON SAYS YES. I just, I will never recover. It’s a very cute moment that they share, a sort of understanding that they share now that doesn’t really change what they have already, just gives some clarity to their current situation. And then the performance they give? It’s wonderful. What more can I say?

And now we’re getting to the good stuff- episode eight, part one. Sai is able to sneak read a bit of Zon’s writing, Sai trying to make himself look not suspicious is so funny, but the absolute angle Zon lets him get away with it. Then they have a cute back and forth about Sai wanting to sleep over at Zon’s place, it’s precious and shows that since the last time Zon seems a bit more comfortable with the obvious flirting and even does some himself. “Otherwise I’ll kiss you.” Saifah being bold as fuck and Zon not running away? That’s what we call growth! Then when Saifah is actually at Zon’s home and they’re telling his parents about the music show they are in full support, Zon’s mother and Saifah both teasing him about his name’s meaning. It’s light hearted and fun and I appreciate how cool Zon’s parents seem to be with their son’s and Saifah’s relationship (thus far). But them being so okay with his joining the music show compared to how unsupportive about his writing hurts, both me and Zon. When they’re in his room Zon is visibly upset with how his parents have handled his passions and Saifah is doing his best to cheer him up. Giving him some comfort, and this is where he admits to reading a few chapters of Zon’s fiction and Zon looks shattered. He is so afraid it’s bad because no one will support him, encourage him until Saifah tells him he actually liked it. That if he wants to keep writing he can count on Saifah to read it and it’s so touching because Zon finally has someone who believes in him. They have this really longing moment of just staring into each other’s eyes and it’s so soft and just full of pining. EXCEPT once again there’s a deleted scene we were ROBBED of. (Why R U’s editing team is out to hurt me apparently) In the deleted scene there was supposed to be a kiss to end the longing stares, this would be their first real kiss. And as much as I would have /loved/ that I can understand wanting the other scene being /the/ moment, but it doesn’t make me wish this scene hadn’t been cut any less.

The next three parts of episode eight I’m going to talk about in one piece because it is basically one long scene that’s just cut into parts. (Part 2, Part 3, Part 4) We have finally gotten to /the/ moment they’ve been leading up to this entire show, the music performance. When we start Zon is asleep and Saifah has arrived with food, trying to wake him up and only successful when he manages to kinda kiss Zon. They bicker a bit in their normal way, Zon whines about wanting an egg and Saifah gives his up happily. It's freaking adorable and the quality content I signed up for. Soda puts them in their performance outfits. They have a weird little fashion show that just makes me love Tommy and Jimmy with all my heart, you know the usual. And then the time gets closer to their performance- Zon is, rightfully, nervous and is having a little breakdown in front of Saifah who is trying his absolute best to calm him down. It’s a touching scene because you can tell that Sai doesn’t really know what to do to help but is seriously trying, and then Zon asks for some encouragement. Saifah wrapping his arms around Zon and hugging him is a scene that I will never recover from. Saifah is so confident in Zon’s skills and very clearly wants to perform with Zon that he’s willing to just hold the nervous kid in his arms until he calms down. It’s really touching and romantic and just perfect. It does the trick and they’re able to perform without a hitch. (I would like to say at this point I have been working on this essay for two days and have decided to throw alcohol into the mix so if I start going off the rails- whoops?) The actual concert is super lovely, like Tommy can sing don’t even @ me because I could listen to these two sing and nothing else and I would be completely happy with that, and when they go to do their thank you speeches my heart swells. Hearing Zon heartfully thank Saifah for doing this with him and then to hear Saifah ask every one to cheer for “my zon” one more time, it’s the pinnacle of romance. I don’t even think that they know how it looks to an outside viewer because they’re so lost in their own world. To them this wasn’t about the concert anymore but them proving themselves to each other, something so meaningful to them because without this moment being the huge lead up they would never have been anything more than people who shared mutual friends and “hated” each other. Without this concert neither would have taken steps to bring them closer, to this peak. And that is exactly what the concert is, it’s their peak because it’s the tipping point for their relationship. Any hesitation from either at this point would break it all down. And so when the two of them head backstage and they have this magical moment- this is it. Zon is complaining about the strings hurting his fingers so Sai softly blows on them to soothe the pain, it’s simple, quiet, and breathtaking. “Why are you so nice to me?” It's such a simple question, Zon’s eyes are filled with stars and he might not thinking that he’s going to get a good answer. “Because you already have my heart.” That’s it. Nothing Saifah could have said would top this. It leaves no questions, this is it for Saifah- he is throwing in everything at this moment and Zon just stares at him. He doesn’t flinch at the kiss Saifah leaves on his forehead, instead he puts his hands on Saifah’s cheeks and pulls him closer so he can kiss his nose. It’s not words that either need now because they just understand. They’ve taken the chance and it’s real now. Them just brushing noses in comfort is enough, but then they go all out. They /finally/ have their first /real/ kiss and it’s a culmination of everything they’ve been through and felt up until this point. I’m sure everyone has seen the behind the scenes clip of the pd calling them out for not following the script. Supposedly it wasn’t supposed to be so passionate but more of a quick peck, but this- what they gave us was nothing short of perfection. This kiss is a solidifier for everyone, especially Zon who has struggled internally this whole time about whether this is real or not. This is a confirmation that Zon’s feelings, now I might be reading a bit too into it/self projecting onto Zon, are valid. Zon and Saifah, as far as we know (I haven’t read the novel either btw), are presumably perceived as straight hell they may have thought they were straight up until they developed feelings for each other. Saifah develops his feelings confidently, he isn’t ashamed or shy about them. Like everything else in his life he takes it and makes it his own and that is completely valid. But for Zon it is a struggle the whole way through. He’s scared and he overthinks, over analyzes everything, and shys away from Saifah’s advances until now- a common theme found in many unsure/closeted queer kids. And THAT is also valid. They’re both so completely different and yet they fit together in ways that I don’t even think they knew was possible. The way they play off each other, can read the other, knows what to do or say- it’s the perfect amount of them.

Episode nine is purely TorFight and part one of episode ten gives us only crumbs of SaiZon, but they are crumbs I would die for. It’s a couple of minutes of a sleepy Zon being cuddled by Saifah. Nothing fancy, nothing overly sexual, just the domestic bliss of these two holding each other. Once again it’s a testament to how made they are for each other. In any other drama (and I say this with affection to all the other bls I have consumed) this wouldn’t fly- this slow progression isn’t the norm for these types of shows and that’s why it’s so damn refreshing. Saifah in all his suave bad boy persona, is truly just a hopeless romantic that wants to hold his boyfriend in his arms for as long as he wants. Zon for all his shy avoidance of anything romantic, just enjoys having Saifah by his side. There is no one party pushing for more, no one party aggressively making moves that are unwanted. It’s just these two content in taking it slow and basking in the warmth of it,

Again for episode eleven we only get a little bit of SaiZon in part four, but that’s fine. It’s especially fine because it’s like every good sick fic I’ve ever read put into canon. Need I say more? It’s soft and cute, Saifah being a whiny sick baby while Zon takes care of them is peak devastation. I really have nothing to say here except thinking about this scene gives me a hundred and one fic ideas and melts my cold dead heart. Moving on.

Episode twelve has a bit of SaiZon but outside of them being totally whipped and wearing matching outfits to the beach I don’t have anything to say? Like I could just scream about the fact that they’re cute but if you’ve made it this far I would hope you already know that, so I’m gonna carry on to episode thirteen- hope you don’t mind!

The finale- episode thirteen. Once again I’m going to just talk about it as a whole rather than split it up because this episode also follows like one central moment in time rather than having huge time breaks in between. (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4) Now we can get into the quintessential moments that define why I think SaiZon is one of the most superior relationships in media I’ve ever consumed. We are thirteen episodes in, we know these characters. They have grown into each other in front of us and this episode shows it in such a poetic way. When Sai and Zon get to their room at the hotel Sai is quick to tease Zon about his “duty” (for future reference if I ever hear someone say duty in reference to sex I might just cry) that night and of course in typical Zon fashion he gets a little antsy. But it doesn’t stop there like it would have earlier, instead Zon uses his nerves to turn the tables. He initiates a kiss with Saifah! Leaving both Saifah and I stunned in the process before teasing and dragging him out for their cute little beach date montage. Now mind you I am gay and love the beach so this shit hits hard for me. Like they’re being your typical love sick characters, Saifah stealing a few cheek kisses to Zon’s surprise, they goof off on a boat(?), they have those dumb couples clothes on- it’s really over the top cute like what else can I say. You want proof love exists? Here you go. Anyway they’re cute, it’s lovely, moving on. They have, I can only imagine this as a very strange double date, dinner with TorFight some bickering happens- again your typical drama moment it’s not too special. Until we get back to the bedroom. Now I have seen a lot of queer media in my life and with that comes your natural tropes (I say tropes fondly because I tend to like most tropes), and that’s what I was expecting. But no, I have never seen anything so purely born out of natural instinct and emotion in my life. Saifah sitting at the edge of the bed strumming a nameless song out of nerves, Zon trying to get his attention in the dorkiest way possible. Once again this is so totally and utterly /them/. I can’t picture anyone doing the way they did, selling that natural awkwardness that comes from your first time with someone you love? Fuck man. Saifah is finally all out of the confidence he normally has, instead he’s avoiding Zon and the prospect of the night by playing the guitar. It makes sense too because this is his first time doing this with someone that he loves, and his first time with a guy which is another added layer of nerves. It’s a lot for both of them, but Zon seems to be actually interested now- finally starting to make moves himself because he knows for a fact Sai isn’t going to push in fear of spooking Zon. And then we get the real moment that really changes everything, “You have music in your heart, don’t you want to have Zon in your heart?” This is it- this is the moment they’ve both been waiting for. Zon already has Saifah’s heart, he has for a while I believe, but this question is what tells Sai that Zon is ready too. They want the same thing, each other. Now we get one of the best build ups I have ever experienced. If you're watching just at face value it might seem a bit strange but every action is deliberate. @spookshowenilorac and I have this running theory that Zon doesn’t close his eyes during some kisses because he is afraid that if he does it will all disappear, it’ll be just a dream from Zol’s fiction (and anytime one of us mentions it I tear up). He’s been so afraid for so long and this moment does feel like it’s out of a dream, it’s overwhelming in passion and over thinking. But the moment Zon accepts it as real it progresses. Mind you, as I’m sure you already know, the tongue in these kisses was not scripted. This is purely Tommy and Jimmy giving this scene and these characters everything they had. It just feels right, after everything these two have been through, and to not have that level of intimacy would have left this scene hollow. The passion and dedication Mii2 gave SaiZon is unparalleled. But that’s not it is it? No, they take it even farther. The promises they make each other? “I promise that I will only have you.” “I’ll give in only to you.” The unscripted tears and voice crack? Nothing can or will top that. I’m sorry but that is /love/. This isn’t based on lust or desire or just purely passion, what Saifah and Zon have is so palpable you can almost feel it. I don’t think any words in our universe can explain the raw emotion that just envelopes this scene in particular. And to know half of it was unscripted and Mii2 just felt like this was what was needed, what the characters would have done is so validating? Just knowing that both Tommy and Jimmy see it too, how this scene needed to play out this way in order for Sai and Zon to have their story complete is unprecedented. Again I wish I had the words to describe it better but I just don’t, so I hope you can understand at least the surface level of what I’m trying to get at here. Anyway let’s move on before I combust by the pure emotions in the bed scene to the next bed scene! This is where Zon and Saifah wake up the morning after, and when I say this is yet again peak devastation I am not kidding. They’re so bright and loving with each other in their typical teasing manner. Saifah steals a cheeky kiss from Zon and demands a kiss on his cheek, of course Zon tries to mess around refusing, then kissing, then refusing when Sai asks for more. It’s light hearted and the emotional levity we all needed. Especially with the dazed look Zon has, I think here is when he fully understands and accepts that Saifah and this feeling isn’t a dream. This is real and his to keep. The passion between them hasn’t died down but their relationship isn’t solely based on it being so aggressive either. They excel in these in between moments, the give and take of both a teasing joke and a desire to be together. It’s not as primal as the love TorFight have, but that doesn’t make either any less valid. It’s the fact that they’re such vastly different relationships that makes me admire this show more. The contrast between the two really highlights that no two relationships are the same, just like no two people are the same and that’s a wonderful message. Moving on from that very domestic scene we get the beach kissing scene (yes I’m skipping a tiny bit because I have nothing to say about SaiZon walking in on TorFight besides gay solidarity baby!). First of all I wanna point out that their outfits are peak gay culture, like I can see @travelersmindpalace and I wearing the exact same outfits during our next beach date and it /hurts/. This is also where I point out that I have a weak spot for height differences and holy shit does SaiZon deliver. The way Zon has to kinda tippy toe to kiss Sai or have Saifah lean down a bit- I’m whipped. They also thank each other for coming into their lives and I had to pause for a good few minutes to have a nice little cry over that. Like??? How??? How are they so pure and sweet after everything- I really can’t fathom it. And they do that soft little nose bump thing before they kiss- my gay heart can really only take so much of this without crying over them. They truly are the pinnacle of relationship goals. I don’t know how else to say that? They really just are so encouraging of each other, the boundaries they set up are respected, there’s never a moment of an imbalance of power, they just have a healthy relationship that’s based on trust and understanding. I hope in the in the future we get more shows depicting a relationship like this.

This was a lot and I am sorry for the word dump?? If you made it this far I love you and I beg you to scream about SaiZon with me- and with that I’m done!

#why r u #saizon #saifahzon #THIS TOOK FOREVER I'M SORRY #this is almost 8000 words of me crying over my love for saizon episode by episode rip #boba!wordcollections #it's 1am I'll deal with the consequences of this when I wake up :3

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