#it would be way too long and i also want to discuss those topics later so yeah

[linagram]

[ 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜' 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 ]

here they are!! finally!!

okay, so at first i thought that i should add something like "part 1", since this post will include only the guilty trio's side characters, but i thought about it and.. i don't really think i should make profiles for other side characters too? most side characters are just the family members (like asahi's adoptive father or eiko's mother) or they're those prisoners' friends (riku's friends/bandmates, reina's friends, etc) and i don't want to make profiles for all those friend groups.

but we'll see! maybe i'll just drop some family/friends lore when i feel like it.

Side character 001: Saito Arata

Name: Saito Arata (斎藤新) (his last name means "purification, worship" and his first name means "fresh, new")

Age: 17 y/o

Gender: Male

Birth date: March 23rd (Aries)

Height: 176 cm

Blood type: AB

Occupation: High school student (first year)

Personality: Arata is an interesting and unpredictable person. It's hard to tell what's going on inside his head, but he always looks like he's up to no good. He does whatever he wants and whenever he wants and he doesn't care what others say. He's very chill and relaxed most of the time and there's only a few things that can make him angry. He's very talkative and outgoing, but he still has no friends.. Or maybe he has one, if you can call that boy his friend. It's hard to impress someone like Arata, so if you manage to do that, don't be surprised if he suddenly becomes obsessed with you and starts basically worshipping you. But also.. don't be surprised when he just as suddenly decides that he doesn't find you interesting anymore and leaves you. His interests change all the time, he can't control it. And also, even if you are like a god to him, it doesn't mean that he will forget about everything else. He's not as loyal as he likes to make people believe. Also, what's the point of being so obsessed with someone if he actually has more power than anyone else here?

Trivia:

Arata's grades aren't that good and one of the reasons why he started to like Akio is the younger boy agreeing to let him copy his homework.

Arata doesn't look exactly like Riku, but they share some other traits, like age, zodiac sign, blood type, being taller than Akio and having dark hair. Also, Riku not looking like an exact copy of Arata and Akio still liking him because of how much he reminds him of his follower can be explained as Akio missing Arata too much.

Arata is a year older than most of his classmates, but there's not any particular reason for that.

Arata really likes animals that are considered to be weird, dangerous or scary by most people and he was obsessed with insects and dinosaurs when he was a child (he still is). He also has a huge shark plushie in his room, but it's not cute at all and it's actually kinda creepy. When Akio found out about that interest of his, he tried to find as much information as possible, so that he could impress Arata with his knowledge later.

Arata actually didn't care about Akio that much when he first met him, he only had to spend time with him for reasons I can't talk about yet, but as he kept learning more about him and what kind of person he is, he started to admire him and be truly supportive of him.

Arata knew Akio's victim well not only because of them all being classmates, but also because Akio's victim really wanted to be friends with Akio and that annoyed Arata even back when he wasn't interested in Akio (or at least he thought so). When he fully turned into Akio's follower, he did everything to make his victim's life worse: from stealing his medications to "accidentally" pushing him down the stairs. Akio actually didn't need to try and "manipulate" Arata to kill the poor boy for him, Arata would do it anyway sooner or later.

If you remember, the silhouettes' eyes in Akio's MV were green (meaning envy and jealousy) and only one of them had pink eyes (meaning love and genuine support). Yes, those other figures are Akio's classmates and the pink-eyed figure is supposed to be Arata.. but only in this particular MV (symbolism, am I right), because in real life, as you have probably already noticed, Arata has heterochromia and one of his eyes is pink, meanwhile his other eye is green. And yes, I've made his eyes like that on purpose.

Remember how Akio mentioned in his interrogation that he's okay with anything his mother cooks, but something was crossed out? He actually wanted to write "anything Arata cooks", but quickly changed it to his mother, because he found it too embarrassing and he didn't want the guards to ask about Arata. The funniest thing about this is that Arata actually can't cook at all and he just bought random food and then he was like "Yeah, I've made it for you, do you like it? <3". It worked though and Arata had to hold his laugh every single time because Akio genuinely believed him.

Side character 005: Mikazuki Ruka

Name: Mikazuki Ruka (朏 瑠日) (his last name means "crescent moon" and his first name means "lapis lazuli" and "sun")

Age: 21 y/o

Gender: Male

Birth date: May 19th (Taurus)

Height: 164 cm

Blood type: A

Occupation: Unemployed

Personality: Ruka wishes people would just.. ignore him or pretend he's not here. He doesn't like talking to people and finds it exhausting. Even simply being around people is too much for him. No, actually, everything is too much for him. Getting up in the morning or even simply eating or breathing is too much work for him. It would be nice if he had someone who could just.. do all of that for him. He'd be okay with doing anything in return for that.. well, if it's not too exhausting. Ah, and if this doesn't sound too weird yet, Ruka has this interesting habit of saying that he's actually dead if anyone asks him to do something he's too lazy to do or simply asks him a question about his past or how he's feeling right now. He often says something like "'Cause I'm dead" in the end of his sentences. He never explains why he does that and it seems much more serious than just him trying to come up with an excuse not to talk about something or not to do something. Maybe it's because he genuinely feels like he's actually a corpse and that's why he's always so tired?.. Ah, but don't think that he's always so cold and emotionless. He's actually very expressive, but only around one specific person.

Trivia:

Ruka's voice is very androgynous and most of the time people have to ask him about his gender. It doesn't help that he has a unisex name as well. And when someone asks him or thinks he's a girl, he simply shrugs and goes "I'm dead anyway, so it doesn't matter". He often wears skirts and dresses too.

Speaking of that habit of his, at first Kei thought that Ruka suffers from "Cotard's syndrome", a condition in which the person thinks that they're actually dead or don't have any blood or organs, but he has soon found out that Ruka knows perfectly well that he's alive, he just likes to think that he's dead, a walking corpse or even a zombie.

Ruka stopped growing when he was 14 years old and he still looks very young and people often mistake him for a teenager. When Kei first met him in a night club, he actually got worried and wondered how this kid was allowed in here. Ruka kinda likes the fact that he looks so young, since "it proves that he really has died and stopped aging".

Ruka is much more talkative around Kei in general. And just so you understand, he wasn't a "poor innocent guy who Kei has kidnapped and tortured in his basement", he was free to go anywhere he wanted to (without leaving the house, of course) and do anything that he wanted. He even made fun of Kei and made jokes like "Ah, do you like me for my childlike appearance or something? You're even more of a creep than I've thought" (Kei punched him right after that and made him take his words back because even he got uncomfortable after hearing that) and "Just beat me up and take as many photos as you want already, I wanna go to sleep as soon as we're done". He even teased him and said things like "What, is this everything you've got?" while Kei tortured him. Kei absolutely did horrible things to him, but Ruka still had more freedom than it was shown in Kei's MV and even though he's still a victim of kidnapping, he actually kind of enjoyed the process because he thought he was finally about to die for real.

The outfit that he's shown wearing has sun and moon motifs which is a reference to his name meaning. I wanted his name to be related to both sun and moon to show that he's Kei's "sun and moon", that meaning that he's Kei's everything.

According to Ruka, he doesn't have any parents or siblings and he also hates when people ask him about them. He still had a friend group (he didn't care about them at all) and he actually was basically forced to come with them to that night club from Kei's MV. They have still spent a lot of time explaining that he really is an adult This is how Kei and Ruka met and Kei went "Oh.. He's just like me fr.."

It's hard to explain what kind of relationship Kei and Ruka had, since it's hard to call them friends and they weren't really a couple. Their relationship had platonic, romantic and sexual elements, but they still had no idea who they are to each other and they mostly just treated each other like an artist and a muse at first before they started to become closer.

Side character 008: Kanasawa Takame

Name: Kanasawa Takame (金沢喬女) (her last name means "gold" and "swamp, stream" and her first name means "high, noble" and "woman")

Age: 31 y/o

Gender: Female

Birth date: November 16th (Scorpio)

Height: 170 cm

Blood type: O

Occupation: Maid cafe manager

Personality: Takame is a polite and gentle woman who is always very kind to everyone, especially her employees. She has a very good reputation and everyone knows her as a caring and understanding person who never lets her employees overwork themselves and if she sees someone making them uncomfortable, she will make sure to take care of that and protect them. She's quite passionate about anime, manga and games and that's.. uh.. one of the reasons why she decided to open a maid cafe. What about the other reasons? Haha, you don't have to know that. Maybe this woman really does have a dark side, but only one of her workers knows about it. And that worker still loves her no matter what.

Trivia:

Takame secretly has a thing for cute girls in maid outfits and that's a second reason why she opened a maid cafe.

Takame really does have a secret second job and her being a cafe manager is just something she does to hide her secrets and make herself look like a normal person who doesn't do anything illegal.

Unlike other two side characters who actually liked their prisoners, she didn't have any feelings for Yurika and just manipulated her because she knew that Yurika is the only worker who would agree to help with something like Takame's second job and she knew that Yurika really needs someone to rely on, so she promised she will take care of everything that Yurika has problems with. She thought that Yurika is cute, but that's all.

Takame really does like anime, manga and games and that's not something she made up. She believes that no matter how old you are, you should still do what you like, even if other people judge you for it.

She knew everything about Yurika's past and her problems and she knew about Yurika's relationship with her victims. She used that information to make Yurika trust her, but no matter how manipulative she was, she actually did protect Yurika from her stalkers and people who harassed her. Of course, that made Yurika like her even more, but when Takame did that, she genuinely wanted to protect Yurika because she didn't want her to go through anything like that.

#most facts are just about their relationships with their prisoners but if i tried to talk more about their backstories and personalities #it would be way too long and i also want to discuss those topics later so yeah #feel free to ask questions about them though! #no arata doesn't actually have an akio itabag BUT IF HE COULD MAKE/BUY AKIO MERCH HE WOULD #i really really like his dynamic with akio especially bc i know arata's backstory so i'm like. HHHHH THEY'RE SO INTERESTING #yes i can't believe i'm saying this but. kei and ruka's dynamic is kinda cute if you think about it #OF COURSE IT DOESN'T EXCUSE THE KIDNAPPING AND TORTURING AND BASICALLY BRAINWASHING HIM AND ALL THAT STUFF #but still it's very interesting how kei likes ruka bc he acts like kei's real self meanwhile ruka likes him because he makes him feel alive #and in a good way and he doesn't want to say that he's dead when that happens #also when i started working on lineart and looked at takame i realized that she reminds me of shidou's wife and i screamed #LIKE I THINK SHE DOESN'T HAVE THOSE VIBES NOW THAT THE DRAWING IS DONE BUT STILL #(yurika simping for shidou's wife is a hilarious concept though) #i don't know if these guys will have their own tags but again we'll see #i'll just tag their prisoners for now #👑prisoner 001: miyagawa akio👑 #🍓prisoner 005: sanada kei 🍓 #🎀prisoner 008: maruyama yurika 🎀 #(and yes i used a chain brush for ruka listen i got lazy IT WAS SO HARD TO DRAW THIS GUY FOR SOME REASON) #(AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN HIS FULL DESIGN YET.)

[mrs-monaghan]

Can you show me jungkook being the best boyfriend ever

What tf kinda difficult question is this??? JK is an amazing fucking boyfriend. He shows up. This👏🏾 motherfucker 👏🏾shows👏🏾 up👏🏾 He puts the standard so high, making it look like we are all getting treated by our partners like garbage. This dude loves Jimin so much and has always been there for him in so many ways big and small and you want me to pick one moment?

Oh. Unless u didn't mean just one moment in which case forget all that 😁😁😁 here. Have this Jimtiddie as an apology

Tweet

Off the top of my head my dear anon;

Exhibit a) Dieting

So once upon a time, I'm sure we all know the story of how JK got Jimin to stop dieting unhealthily.

(Thanks @sarah2711)

Exhibit b) The live they did after their UN speeches.

V is the one who starts the whole thing by making fun of Jimin apologising after he made his mistake during his speech. (I already talk about JK being there for Jimin here) Other members chime in and at first Jimin is laughing with them. But then at some point he stops laughing, just sits there as they continue to make fun of him. Then he starts chewing on his nails which alot of the time is a sign of nerves

And he absolutely shrinks in on himself. Of course JK notices immediately and that's when he tells the members to cut it out. He tells them how they should be making Jimin feel better. Not making fun of him. Immediately all the members, at the same time, backtrack. They start praising Jimin and saying how they get it.

The whole thing is too long to clip but it all starts at 12:32 here

Because we don't talk about Yoonmin 😏 we have to note that all of them made fun of Jimin but JK only spoke up after Suga said this

🤭🤭

P.s RM also said something but the members only changed their tune after JK did. I have always found this moment so sweet. JK was being protective of his baby here of course. Which goes hand in hand with this post. JK just wasn't having it and I love to see it.

When Jimin was explaining himself,

JK was quietly listening. He didn't say anything until Jimin said this

And we all know JK doesn't like when Jimin is being self deprecating. So it tracks that he comfortingly says;

That, right there anon, was JK showing up like the amazing boyfriend he is.

Bonus with the Jimin jealous moment here. And yes, thats exactly what it was.

More instances of JK being protective of his bf by Kanmom here

Exhibit c) SEVEN

Yes. Seven. The summer song of the year. Love to watch it. Love to hear it. So, I think we can all agree its a sex song. Period. That's what it is. It's a proper love making song. A topic we love to discuss on this side of tumblr.... but, have we stopped for a second to explore the romantic side of SEVEN?

So we established SEVEN is basically satellite Jeon in a nutshell. Which that alone is quite big. Always wanting to be with your person, next to your person no matter what. But JK chasing after his love interest from beginning to end till she gives in shows;

He would do anything for the one he loves. He would walk through fire. Through storms. Go anywhere... if it means its for the one he loves. He is devoted, he is all in. Deeper than the ocean. And this is basically what this post is all about, really. JK's devotion for Jimin. Deeper than the God damn ocean.

Then we have this part

For those who dont know what that means by now, I'll give u a few seconds to go look up the meaning on Google. In the meantime the rest of us will enjoy this cute clip of satellite Jeon who started quite early

Oh you're back! Yes. We can proceed. 😁😁

So what we have discovered is that JK is a generous lover... a considerate lover... Puts his partner first. JK is a "it's okay baby, you can tend to me later, this is about you" kind of guy. He is the "I won't come until you've cum" type of dude.

In other words, his lover is the priority.

Now.

Jikook don't have an only fans so we haven't seen this in action and there4 have no way of knowing that JK is like this in the bedroom. BUT, considering the fact that he prioritises Jimin all the time, we have seen this happen, I dont see why we can't assume this part of him extends to the bedroom too! Right? Like, its gotta be the case.

JK would rather loose provided Jimin wins.

JK always prefering to walk slightly behind Jimin

JK would rather miss out on the last dish and let Jimin have it. (And we know this is huge coz mans loves his food)

Just to give 3 examples that show JK when it comes to Jimin... well, u know. Jimin comes first. Literally and figuratively 😏 So I'm gonna go ahead and politely insist 😂 that the same happens during Sevening. Mkay? Glad we agree 😁😁

Exhibit d) JK always looking to praise Jimin.

(Thanks @tarheelthings)

Jimin made the group ramen (his specialty) and as u can see JK was already telling him how perfect it tastes and yet he hadn't even tasted it yet. Even editors noticed 😂😂

Bv 1 finale no one praises Jimin's santa and he laments as much.

We know our Mimi loves to be complimented and praised; absolutely feeds off of that shit. And JK knows this which is why he immediately tells Jimin "yours is the best" Jimin is so happy to hear this, cheeses so hard that even the editors notice.

Gosh... he was so happy 🥺🥺 Jimin has a praise kink and JK is great at fulfilling this. Aaah. Shit. Now I'm wondering if this extends to the bedroom 🤔 I'm pretty sure it does 🙈🙈🙈

Okay ✋🏽 let's stop thinking about JK calling Jimin a good boy and move on, yes?

Btw, RM too recognises that Jimin loves to be praised and u will see him come through too. But JK is always faster so... 😁😁

Then we have ITS when JK tasted Jimin's food, once again, high praises.

And then when when Jimin says

JK replied "I know."

Something about this moment drives home to me the fact that Jimin doesn't cook well, at home. JK does. But we already knew this from Jin ("Jungkook is Jimin's chef")

On the topic of praises, when other members try to make fun of Jimin JK will quickly make sure Jimin knows he doesn't feel the same way. This and exhibit b are like sisters. They can go hand in hand 😆

So Bon Voyage season 1 Jimin was cooking for Jin. As soon as Jimin placed the plate on the table JK did not once take his eyes off of it.

And, this was after JK kept going to keep an eye on Jimin cooking even though they weren't team mates or nothing. I'm telling y'all, Jimin sits pretty at home while JK does all the cooking. Anyway, when Jin tastes the food he says;

But the way he says it, its like he's taking the piss. It wasn't complimentary. So JK of course went;

And he couldn't get to that dish fast enough

And he devoured the rest of it

While the rest, mind you, are still making fun of Jimin/his dish. But JK didn't give a shit. His baby had made that plate and by God he was going to enjoy every second of it.

Once again, to me, this cements my theory that JK doesn't get to eat Jimin's food often. He gets way too excited when Jimin cooks, can't wait to taste his food, etc etc.

Which brings us to our next example where one time Jimin brought the entire group cucumber drinks and they hated it. Jhope goes on to explain just how much they hated the flavor.

There is a chorus of all the members agreeing with Jhope and even Jimin accepts that the cucumber drinks were terrible. But low and behold, look what the boyfriend had to say about it

Timestamp 4:12 so u can see for yourselves just how much everyone hated those drinks.

(Thanks @tarheelthings and @chicknbunny13)

Look, in JK's eyes, Jimin can do no wrong, okay? To JK, Jimin is perfect and that's that. End of story: No further questions. This behaviour is what I was talking about on my whipped post here.

Exhibit e) When JK checks on Jimin.

I don't gotta show many examples of this we've all seen it. JK always craning his neck over members to see what Jimin is up to. He always likes to know where Jimin is, what he's doing, which imo is amazing boyfriend behavior if ask me.

A moment I've never seen talked about anywhere from BV 1; JK comes into the RV to check on Jimin who's sleeping.

I know he came to check on Jimin because he walks in, takes a peak, then walks back out. Almost like he had confirmed Jimin was okay and now he could go about his business.

Tell me thats not the sweetest, cutest thing ever!

I've just uploaded 31 images n a video. I don't think tumblr likes me enough to allow me to do more so let's stop here. I hope your Jungkook praise kink has been fulfilled. It was my pleasure.😁😁

He really is a good man. The best. And Jimin deserves nothing less 😍😍😍

#protective jungkook #we don't talk about Yoonmin #satellite jeon #jikook is real #if jikook isn't real then neither I'm i #bon voyage Jikook #run Jikook #ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #kookmin #minkook #jimin and jungkook #jimin #jungkook #park jimin #jeon jungkook #bts #whipped jungkook #whipped jk #jungkook seven

[mynameismckenziemae]

Unbroken

Part 3

(previous chapter here, next chapter here)

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x You

Summary: You and Bradley sneak away from the wedding early for some fun, but your past gets in the way.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! A little bit of smut. Please note: This chapter has heavy and possibly triggering topics for some-unplanned pregnancy, miscarriage, discussion of abortion, asshole ex-boyfriends. Feel free to send me a message if you’d like me to clarify anything before reading!

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

You're more than a lover

There could never be another to make me feel the way you do

Oh, we just get closer

I fall in love all over every time I look at you

I don't know where I'd be without you here with me

Life with you makes perfect sense

You're my best friend

You can’t help but smile as you watch Jake and Charlie dance to their first song as a married couple.

Who knew your brother’s wedding would be one of the happiest days of your life?

You clap with everyone else as Jake dips Charlie at the end with a sweet kiss, before turning around with a sigh to take a seat when the DJ invites other couples to the floor when another slow song starts. It’s one of your favorites.

But there’s a tap on your shoulder before you can even take a step.

“Will you dance with me?” Bradley asks.

“I’d love to,” you smile, taking the hand he offered and letting him lead you out on the dance floor.

Your mom spots the pair of you and wiggles her brows. Your dad rolls his eyes at her as he spins them away, winking when you mouth “thank you”.

“Your mom is a hoot,” Bradley chuckles.

“She’s something,” you mumble, breath hitching when he pulls you closer.

“Have I told you how pretty you look today?” He murmurs in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Only once or twice. I like hearing it though.”

“Can’t help it,” he smiles, meeting your eyes. “I’ll tell you every day if you give me a chance.”

You return his smile before resting your cheek against his chest and close your eyes, fighting the unease that tries to creep in.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

Two hours later your feet need a break from all the dancing you’ve done. You press a cold beer to your heated cheeks as you take a breather under the stars.

“Hey! I need you and Bradley to leave now so you can go to our house and decorate for when we get home,” Charlie says as she walks up behind you with a beer also in hand.

You look at her confused before your eyes widen. “Oh shit, Charlie. I never even thought of that! I didn’t realize you’d want-“ you start but she interrupts.

“No, I don’t actually want you to”, she laughs at your puzzled expression. “I’m just giving you and Bradley an excuse to leave soon. That’s what I’m going to say if anyone asks where the two of you went.”

“I can’t leave now,” you argue, even though it does sound like a good plan.

“You can and you will. I’m the bride and what I say goes,” she says, clinking her bottle to yours. “Now finish your beer with me and go…if you want,” she adds, ultimately giving you the choice.

“That does sound nice,” you agree before taking a long pull.

“Thought so,” she smiles, taking a drink too.

You give her a big hug before you head back into the tent to find Bradley. “Have fun on your honeymoon, I don’t want to hear about it when you get back,” you laugh, giving her one more squeeze before pulling back to look at her. “Love you, Char. I’m so happy to call you my sister.”

“Love you too,” she sniffs, pulling back to look you in the eye. “Text me tomorrow. I gotta know if those mustache rides are really what they’re cracked up to be.”

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

“So, my place or yours?” Bradley asks, quirking a brow as he starts your truck. He’d offered to drive since he’d only had water for a few hours now.

“Mine, if that’s okay?”

“Yeah, I’d like to see where you call home,” he replies, reaching for your hand in the seat between you.

“It’s small, but it’s just me so I don’t mind,” you say, weaving your fingers through his.

“Do you like living in the country?” He asks as he turns down your road.

“Mhmm. I enjoy the quiet,” you nod your chin to the little white ranch-style home. “It’s this one.”

“Cute,” he observes as he pulls into your drive.

“Thanks. I figure I can always add on if I need more room,” you muse, hopping out. He picks up your bag and his from the backseat before you get a chance to reach for it. “I’d rather do that than move.”

“I can see why you wouldn’t want to move. It’s beautiful out here. I’ve never seen the moon so big, or so many stars. Wow,” he says softly as he takes in the endless sky.

“If you look long enough you’ll probably see a shooting star. We can sit out here on the swing if you want?” You offer as you unlock your front door.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he murmurs, still looking up.

“Not sure what you all have in your bag, but I’m sure I’ve got some sweats here of Jake’s if you want to change,” you say, pushing the door open.

He nods, loosening his tie. “I’m ready to get out of this suit.”

You find him something of Jake’s to wear that you stole when he was deployed before heading back to your bedroom to change.

You groan in relief when you take off your tight strapless bra after slipping off your dress, putting on silky shorts and a sweatshirt after.

You can’t hide your smirk when Bradley's eyes drop to your bare legs when you come out of your room.

“Beer?” You ask as you open your fridge and bend over to reach them on the bottom shelf, knowing your shorts are riding up.

His gulp is audible before he responds.

“Please.”

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

A few minutes later you find yourself tucked into Bradley’s side on the porch swing with his arm around you.

You see a streak across the sky at the same time he does.

“There! There was a shooting star! Did you see it?” He asks excitedly.

“I did. I’ve seen thousands but it never gets old,” you say, finishing your beer and setting the bottle on the ground.

“That’s the first time I’ve seen one,” he says, still smiling.

Your fingers find his jaw and you turn him towards you before you lean in to press your lips to his.

Crickets chirp in the background as you kiss him slowly, sweetly beneath the light of the moon.

“Cold? Do you want to go inside?” Bradley murmurs as his hand runs over your leg, feeling your goosebumps.

You’re not, but your bed is much more comfortable than the wood swing beneath you.

“Let’s go,” you say, rising before reaching for his hand.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

He spins you into his chest once you pass the threshold of your room, kissing you with more intent than moments before.

He stops only to shuck his borrowed tee but you stop him before he can pull you back in for another kiss. Your eyes hungrily taking in his sculpted chest and stomach.

“Holy shit, Bradley,” you murmur, reaching out to trace the muscles that tense under your touch.

“Tickles,” he breathes, inhaling sharply when your fingers dip lower to the top of his sweatpants.

Your eyes flit back up to his. “You’re gorgeous,” you whisper, kissing the scars on his neck and face before returning to his lips.

Your hands push his pants down and you groan in unison against each other’s mouths when you palm his erection through the thin material of his boxer-briefs.

“That is never gonna fit inside me,” you say pulling back with wide eyes.

He chuckles and steps out of his pants that are pooled at his ankles and backs you up until your legs hit the bed. “I’ll make sure you’re good and ready first,” he says lowly and full of promise as he pulls up your sweatshirt.

Your eyes close after it’s off, revealing your bare chest to him.

“I knew they’d be perfect,” he whispers in awe, immediately cupping a breast in each hand. “I’ve been wondering what they’d look like since I first saw you.”

“Yeah. Wednesday was a long time ago,” you laugh, rolling your eyes.

“No,” he shakes his head before he meets your eyes. “Since I saw you at our graduation.”

“3 years ago?” You ask in disbelief.

“Yeah. You were stunning in that yellow dress. I wanted so badly to talk to you but Jake and I weren’t exactly friends.”

“You hated each other,” you agree. “I can’t believe you remember that.”

“You’re hard to forget,” he replies, kissing you again as he lays you back on the bed.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

Your back arches and your hands fly in Bradley’s hair with a gasp when Bradley sucks a nipple into his mouth, teasing the other with his fingers; alternating back and forth until you’re panting beneath him, rubbing your thighs together for some friction.

That earlier unease rears its ugly head when he goes lower, kissing a path down your stomach.

Chet never did that.

“What are-oh. You don’t have to do that,” you say, propping up on your elbows as he begins to untie your shorts.

“Want to,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your thigh, pausing when he sees the hesitant on your face. “Unless you don’t like it?”

You flop back down and cover your eyes with your arm. “I uh, wouldn’t know.”

“What?”

“My ex…no one’s ever done that before,” you reply, still hiding your face.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Bradley says, coming up to lay beside you. He gently moves your arm away so he can look you in the eye. “He should be the one embarrassed, not you.”

“Well, we were only 17,” you reply with a sigh.

Bradley’s brow furrows.

“Maybe we should talk,” you sigh, reaching for your sweatshirt, feeling suddenly exposed in more ways than one.

“Sure,” Bradley replies, pulling his sweatpants back on before he lays down at your side.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

“I’m sure Jake, or Charlie, or my mom…someone’s told you that I have no interest in relationships, right?” You ask, turning on your back to look at the ceiling.

“Yeah, Charlie mentioned something,” he replies, surprising you by moving closer and placing his hand on yours.

“Well, it’s not true. I am…interested in being in a relationship, but I am absolutely terrified,” you say with a heavy sigh.

“I was a senior when I started dating Chet. He was popular, funny cute, the star running back…everything a 17-year-old girl wanted. He asked me to homecoming and we were inseparable after that. I fell fast and I fell hard; so did he. I know we were young, but it felt like l more than puppy love. He was my first kiss, my first love and he took my virginity the night we graduated. It was awkward and painful, like most first times are,” you say, turning on your back to look at the ceiling.

“We only had sex a few more times before he had to leave for school; he had a scholarship playing football. A few weeks went by and I missed my period,” you take a deep breath before you continue.

“I called Charlie’s mom-Lisa had gotten pregnant with Charlie when she was in high school, so I felt like she’d understand. I was too scared to tell my mom yet. Lisa brought over a test, told me the directions through the bathroom door, hugged me while I sobbed when it was positive, and held my hand when I told my parents. My mom and dad were so supportive and didn’t try to persuade my decision, which was to keep it. My dad even cried at the ultrasound,” you smile at the memory.

“And Chet? Was he supportive?” Bradley asks softly, already knowing the answer.

“No, he wasn’t,” you shake your head. “He was so angry. It scared me, he’d never yelled at me like that before. He told me to get rid of it before he accused me of cheating on him since there was no way it was his because we’d used a condom. Then he stopped returning my calls and texts; just ghosted me. To say I was devastated is an understatement. I was going to be a mom at 18, I lost the love of my life and I could see my dreams of becoming a veterinarian circling the drain.”

“Whatever you say next…it’s not going to change anything,” Bradley tells you, thumb rubbing the back of your hand.

You nod before your eyes fall closed. This part hurts the most. “I was so stressed out; I couldn’t eat, I was exhausted but couldn’t sleep. A few weeks later I started cramping, and then the bleeding started. I lost the baby.”

“Oh Em,” he whispers. It kills you to hear tears in his voice.

“I was such a mess. The doctor told me it wasn’t my fault but I still find myself wondering if it was. I felt so guilty, but relieved; and guilty that I felt relieved. I became a shell of the girl I’d been. I decided to go to school, to pretend I was okay. I still remember Chet’s face when he saw me in the courtyard; the way he did a double take. He smiled; fucking smiled when I told him I miscarried. I slapped him across the face so hard it echoed,” you say, lip twitching in satisfaction to that memory.

“I haven’t dated or been with anyone since, I haven’t even wanted to until I met you,” you say, turning your head towards him finally, but still unable to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sure this isn’t what you had in mind when I asked you to leave with me.”

“I didn’t have any expectations for tonight. I was just excited to spend more time with you,” he tilts your chin up. “I really like you too, Em. I’m a patient man and you’re worth waiting for.”

You give him a small smile as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

Hours go by as the two of you talk about anything and everything; what it was like growing up with Jake, the way Lisa became your second mom, how you still think about your baby; if they would’ve been a boy or a girl. In return, he tells you what it was like losing his parents so young, the crazy antics his adopted uncles got up to, and the paralyzing fear he felt before Jake saved his life.

“Oh God, what time is it? We talked all night,” You say through a yawn when you notice light starting to filter through the curtains.

“5:53,” Bradley replies, failing to stifle his own yawn as he checks his phone.

“Do you want me to take you back to your hotel?” You ask, exhaustion catching up to you quickly.

“I’m pretty comfy here,” he says eyes already closing, but he fights it to look at you to ask, “If that’s okay?”

You nod before snuggling into his side, still smiling when sleep pulls you under.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

A/N: Well…now you know why Emma is the way she is. What do you think?

As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in comments/reblogs.

Tagging (please let me know if you want to be added/removed!):

@mamachasesmayhem

@its-the-pilot

@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@shanimallina87

@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

@lexixstewart

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@mrsrobertfloyd5

@charmedkim

@k-k0129

@bellaireland1981

@hookslove1592

@amiets2

@nero4te

@eli2447

@atarmychick007

@vixenobrian

@86laura11

@hisredheadedgoddess28

@dempy

@angelbabyyy99

@buckysteveloki-me

@djs8891

@mizzzpink

@daggerspare-standingby

@mrsevans90

@littlezee80

@emma8895eb

@schreksdoubledeckerhomechecker

#bradley rooster bradshaw #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw #jake hangman seresin #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x you #top gun smut

[interstellarsystem]

Endogenic Systems and Experiences in the Neurodivergent Community

We tend to stay mostly on the fringes of syscourse nowadays without directly interacting with it too often but I'm going to post this more broadly and less focused on our specific instance of this because community-wise I think it's important to talk about.

Endogenic and other non-traumagenic systems are so commonly excluded from so many neurodivergent-safe spaces where they would otherwise be able to gain knowledge about the disorders they might have, share experiences and coping strategies with peers, or at least have a sense of community that is so commonly valuable to disabled and/or neurodivergent people. In a lot of cases, even people who only support non-traumagenic systems get shoved out.

[Continued under the readmore as it's long.]

This obviously harms non-traumagenic systems, but I have to point out that when people sit there and say "we care about REAL disabled people!", I have to say.... Do you? Because if you did care about those with mental illness, physical disability or neurodivergence, you in my mind wouldn't exclude them based on something unrelated to the topic itself which might even be something as small as holding an opinion that other people get to be the judge of their own experiences. You can say that you care about "real" disabled people, but what about when a traumagenic DID system also has a tulpa that they consider just as valid and real as their alters? What about when a system labels themselves as quoigenic because in reality, you owe no one the knowledge that you are vulnerable and traumatised? What about when a system starts out as endogenic but gains so much trauma later on that they develop dissociative symptoms?

We're quoigenic because while yes we are diagnosed with DID:

DID does not have trauma in the diagnostic criteria so our diagnosis doesn't mean anything by way of origin. Nontraumagenic is not the same as nondisordered the same way that traumagenic isn't the same as disordered.

We cannot remember a time before we were plural so we cannot say with accuracy what our actual origin was.

We have headmates we consider to be from both traumagenic and endogenic origins and it feels unfair to pick one.

We don't owe anyone a quick little "hey, we have trauma!" flag on our pinned post which can easily paint us as a target. This is the exact reason we don't share our triggers online--it's not safe.

You don't owe anyone personal medical information including your diagnostic history, your trauma history or lack thereof, your current medications or how many times you've been in a hospital. That is your business and yours alone to decide who you share it with. It's downright dangerous to share some of it, especially so publically. So who is anyone online that clearly isn't your specific medical practitioner to decide whether your experiences are real enough to allow you into spaces meant for a usually completely unrelated thing? Why would someone holding the opinion that endogenic systems get to decide what labels they use be denied access to spaces just because they support people with differing beliefs and/or experiences?

If we as a system with multiple disabilities want to go into a space for people who are schizoaffective because we need others who won't immediately jump on the ableism train when discussing something we're diagnosed with that has so much stigma, should we be denied that just because we don't label our origin with a clear-cut "we are traumatized!!" label? Should we be denied access to spaces because we don't want to sit around and smile while parts of our system and other members of our community are called fake and evil and whatever else they come up with? It's so common in spaces for people with disabilities to be exclusive to traumagenic systems and people with an anti-endogenic mindset that people don't realise they're not only hurting the endogenic community, but literal chunks of their own community itself.

I can't even begin to understand the reason why.

Endogenic systems by just existing do not cause harm. They're not like a transphobe you would not be safe around by default of having a label. Not every nontraumagenic system is a saint but if you took any communtiy and called everyone in it the equivalent of an unproblematic holy angel, you'd be lying. People are bad in every community, some worse than others, but the nontraumagenic system community literally just wants to exist--and yes, sometimes a nontraumagenic system (or supporter of such) does have dissociative symptoms, or maybe they have autism, or maybe they're physically disabled. Should they be not allowed access just because of the way they chose to label their system, or their opinion of people picking their own labels for their personal identity?

What exactly is the reason they're so excluded everywhere? I'd try to assume that this level of exclusion (to the point of endos being on DNIs next to transphobes and racists) would mean there's some real harm being done on a community-wide scale, but even when looking for it there isn't any explanation we've been able to find. "They're fake" is all we seem to see which has no actual backing whatsoever. "They're harmful" is another but.. How? We might be looking in the wrong places, but we have never seen an actual explanation for how nontraumagenic systems cause harm as a community just by being themselves.

At this point, I have to wonder how many people who say "we care about real disabled people!" are just covering up their "we care about socially acceptable disabled people who I understand and/or do not find cringey" sentiment instead. Being neurodivergent should never be about fitting into tight little boxes--it's part of the whole point of having a community like this. You're not the majority, and that's okay. So why are we dividing the disabled community into boxes too?

Of course, this doesn't only apply to ND spaces. LGBT+ spaces are similar and even more divided from the concept of being a system that it makes even less sense to block nontraumagenic systems from entering the space. How does their system origin relate to their LGBT+ identity? Sometimes it can, but should a trans person be excluded from a trans space because they have a friend who is an endogenic system and they support them fully?

Overall, the main point is that it makes no sense whatsoever to be anti-endo in general, let alone so violently anti-endogenic system to the point where you hurt members of your own community due to it. Sometimes from something as simple as them supporting endogenics alone. Your safe spaces aren't actually safe if you exclude a nonharmful group who also belong in that space due to having a personal identity or opinion different to yours. If you want somewhere to be a safe, inclusive space, it should include everyone as long as letting those people in won't cause harm. People who are seeking to cause harm (racists, transphobes, etc) obviously do not belong in a safe space because they seek to harm others, thus making the space unsafe. But people who just want to be themselves without harming anyone should be included in your space if they fall under whatever it may be topic-wise. Even the "cringey" ones. Even the ones who don't quite make sense to you or have "contradicting" labels. Even the ones who use labels completely differently to the way you do. And even the ones who are uninformed or misinformed but trying their best to learn. Your safe space is not safe if it excludes those who do not follow your every single mindset and thought without any deviation.

#reiterating that traumagenic and disordered are not synonyms and that you can be disordered and endogenic too by the way #important note here #plural #actuallyplural #plural system #plurality #endo safe #pro endo #system #alterhuman #didosdd #actually did #syscourse #actually endogenic #endogenic #disabled #quoigenic #did system #did osdd #neurodivergent #did #disability #op #mystery (they/it) #tw #tw: syscourse #tw: ableism #everything althu #althu experiences #everything plural

[devilfic]

Saw the previous Matt Murdock post and I can’t help but think of him as college professor dynamic???!

LIKE HOW WOULD HE BE?

❝criminal law professor!matt murdock❞

cw: law school professor matt being everyone's wet dream, brief mention of alcohol, brief suggestive content. words: 1.3k.

AHHHHHHH criminal law professor!matt who never set out to teach but got invited to a lecture held by an old lawyer friend of his and built up such good rapport with the students that when one of them came up to him after class and told him they'd sign up for any class he'd teach, the cogs started turning

only teaches one class a semester, probably one class a year

one of those professors that almost everybody wants to get in with but is prone to several dropouts after the first two weeks because of his teaching style

he's very casual most of the time but very much hands-on and will not let up on you for a second if he thinks it's a teaching moment

he's relentless. he is not an easy A but you will come out of his class better than you went in

his favorite part of the job is getting into ethical debates with the students

likes to do a lot of mock trials and very regularly stick his students with cases that test their moral judgment

it's not to make them feel bad or play at having the higher moral ground if they make a "wrong" decision, but more so to force them to consider what they're willing to compromise on to win a case

and whether winning cases is the best thing for them or for their client

he's the type of professor who will gladly stay an hour or two after class just chatting it up with students over cases he's done in the past or answering questions about practicing law professionally

he grades hard but he always offers ample feedback to make his students do better next time

has a saying that he'll never turn down a coffee from a student trying to butter him up

and immediately follows up with "it won't make me change your grade but it will help me remember your name"

this motherfucker definitely likes to sit on the edge of his desk while teaching, too

undoes his tie a bit when he gets passionate about a topic, rolls up his shirt sleeves to his elbows, has to stop himself from pacing the room without his walking stick when he feels particularly excited about a discussion

does not care about late work like at all

as long as you get it to him before the end of the semester, you'll be fine

you'll be panicking, emailing him about how you're so sorry but your laptop got stolen on your way home and that you'll have to rewrite your entire paper from scratch in the school lab tonight so it'll be a day late and you'll get a response back in 4 minutes that just says "No problem, stay safe - Sent from my iPhone"

and... your laptop is mysteriously returned a few days later. apparently whoever stole it had a serious change of heart. you also got a 98 on your paper

(he may not be swayed to change your grade with coffee but he is a bit of a softie when it comes to stuff like this)

he's also just the hottest professor on campus. do I even have to say it at this point

comes to class everyday in a nice button-up, very form-fitting trousers (none of his students have ever seen him in a pair of jeans nor will they), glasses perched on the tip of his nose, a leather messenger bag at his side that is mysteriously well-stocked with first aid supplies, and a loose red tie around his throat

do you see the vision

cancels class often because of daredevil business and treats these as days to work on papers

tries not to cut class short because of daredevil business

it actually makes him a bit sad when he has to, and so he makes it an open invitation that if students catch him out in the wild or walking around campus, they can bother him as much as they want

his TA is a little (a lot) exasperated with him but he makes up for it by buying them food. it has actually put a dent in his budget at this point but their appeasement makes it worth it

he has an office on campus but he very rarely uses it for office hours, you can pretty much find him anywhere BUT his office

he likes to meet in coffee shops or lecture halls or parks on campus because he feels like it's less daunting for students to just sit and talk out in the open

he's very popular on valentine's day

students and faculty alike will shower him with chocolates and mini bottles of wine and roses and proposals to go out for drinks sometime and he always accepts the gifts graciously

and then passes them onto his TA, karen, or foggy

although he'd be lying if he said he didn't keep some of the wine for himself

he has a strict rule against dating within the university, he'd just rather it not be awkward

now,,, a one night stand with a fellow professor maybe? no strings attached? he's not opposed to that

let's just say that tie and office are getting put to good use-

if you're a student and want a piece though, you're gonna have to wait until you've gotten your degree, sorry

he happens to like his one class a semester/year and he'd very much not like to deal with the legal repercussions of getting caught with a student. repercussions of which he is well-versed in

but alright. I mentioned that he sometimes has to cancel class because of daredevil business and so I MUST tackle the big question: does anyone suspect him

yes and no

it starts out simple. sometimes he shows up to lectures with cuts and bruises, some bandaged but fresh, and swears that it's nothing to worry about. you might catch him wearing the rare sweater on those days, even

when he gets questioned about it, he sort of spins some half-baked lie about boxing being his part-time hobby

and then people start noticing that he's never around when there's a daredevil sighting

now, he doesn't always cancel class for daredevil business. sometimes it's because he's got a client to take care of!

but he also loves to invite his students to sit in on the less serious cases so. what gives

one student starts a rumor and then it kind of becomes a joke in class that professor murdock is secretly daredevil

most of them don't take it seriously because how could their sweet, chill, blind professor murdock be a crime-fighting vigilante? it just wouldn't make sense!

and you know what this bitch does? he feeds into it

student: yeah, professor murdock is daredevil. that's a good one

matt: what do you mean?

student: oh, it's just a joke! we know you couldn't be daredevil

matt: but I am

student: hahaha that's funny

matt: no, I really am daredevil. haven't you noticed? same build, never in the same place at the same time, devilishly handsome

student: uh-huh, sure thing professor

matt: is it cause I'm blind? that's pretty insensitive, don't you think? you don't think blind people just read braille all day and get walked across the street, do you? is that what you think?

student: well I mean no but like... I mean.... uh....

matt: nahhh I'm just fucking with you. I am daredevil, though

student: hahaha for sure man, definitely

matt:

he does fly too close to the sun one day though when one of his students tries to debate him in class about it for shits and giggles and accidentally comes up with such a compelling argument for why he could definitely be daredevil that he sort of just nervously laughs and stops making jokes about it for the next four weeks

also keeps a flask in his desk drawer to pour into his mug after a rough night on patrol. but if anyone asks, no the fuck he didn't. mind your business. you have a C in his class

taglist: @yikes-buddy @alexxavicry @theclassicvinyldragon @marina-and-the-memes

#I saw this ask and immediately got to work #please send me more matt stuff I actually really enjoy writing for him #matt murdock headcanon #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock au #matt murdock #daredevil headcanons #daredevil fluff #daredevil au #daredevil #marvel #mjwrites

[sirenjose]

Thoughts and Theories about "Identity Switches"

This will cover current Identity Switches (up to Hunter Norton/Fool's Gold), as well as their connections between the Identity Switch and their normal version, motivations, personalities, backstories, etc... as well as some discussion about the plot of the main story and the Oletus Manor tragedy (including my theory regarding Jose's father's potential involvement in that event).

Regarding the topic of Identity Switches, it'll be easier to answer questions about those as Netease releases more, but for now we just have Novelist/Nightmare, Alice/Memory, Professor/Luchino, Weeping Clown/Joker, and now Norton/Fool's Gold (though we'll likely get Melly's hunter version sooner than later as well).

With Orpheus, we've known for awhile how he's talked about having multiple personalities or whatever, but the form he takes as “Nightmare” isn't real. So far, it doesn't seem like the rest of the Identity Switches (Memory, Luchino, Joker, Fool's Gold) are "real" either, at least in the sense as being those being their appearance in the real world and such.

"Nightmare" seems to have formed as a result of his trauma and the aftereffects of the tragedy that killed the DeRoss couple (Alice's parents) who he was close to.

I think Novelist's S-tier Essence, with Hollow, and that essence's backstory does the best job showing this, especially with Alice as Source of Evil's shock and disbelief that Orpheus as Hollow is the one behind everything she's seeing.

Hollow himself literally states he wants "revenge" during his essence trailer, as well as the rest of his lines during his trailer.

He used to be kind but his heart hardened after what he experienced, and he's no longer as trusting. He also now seems to primarily see the flaws or "sins" first and their good parts second (which i at least personally think is also visible from the way he writes most everyone's 3rd letters, which usually tend to depict the character in a negative light). He wants people to "repent" (with him seeing himself as the person making these "sinful souls" repent).

This idea of him focusing on the evil in people and wanting them to "repent" I think could be reflected in Orpheus aka Nightmare as the manor owner. I think it's best shown in Bane’s letter, where he see themselves helping this happen, but also from those same letters, we eventually see them begin to question Orpheus the same way Source of Evil did.

The best example being Bane in William's 4th letter, where we see his doubt beginning to show due to failing to understand why Orpheus would include an innocent like William in his experiments.

Based on Bane's 4th letter, where Alice talks about Bane missing by the time of the final game, it is possible it is because he begins to doubt that he might've disappeared.

Bane and Burke worked for the DeRoss couple before the tragedy, after which they worked for Orpheus as the new owner. They're people who are close to Orpheus, so if even they are questioning Orpheus' actions, along with Alice at least as Source of Evil, with Alice being Orpheus' childhood friend, that should show just how much he changed.

Sorry it took me so long to reach here, but I think this is what is reflected in Orpheus when he takes the form of Nightmare.

The reason he looks like a bird connects to how birds are stated to be what Orpheus' likes. The gas mask Nightmare wears, which we saw during Time of Reunion, may connect to the drugs Orpheus developed and is using (and how we see him messing with gas in Darkwoods during Time of Reunion).

Nightmare's finger being a pen connects to Orpheus as a writer, a "novelist", while the music notes on his arm can connect to the Nightingale's song and the piccolo we saw being used during Time of Reunion to open the gates of the manor, and how Alice says during Ashes of Memory that the nightingale's song can open all the doors in the manor. We see Orpheus playing the piccolo during Novelist's release trailer too (as well as bandits who come in and kill Alice's parents during the live action trailer for ToR).

Then there's his name, which his rumor seems to explain the meaning of "Perhaps known only to 'Orpheus', this nightmare of his memory".

Finally there's how Nightmare is essentially a raven. This can relate to how the raven is sometimes seen as a bad omen, which fits with Orpheus' change after the tragedy.

So, at least based on Novelist and Nightmare, we can see his Nightmare is a combination of things related to Orpheus himself, his past, but also an emphasis on the... darker side of his personality. Many of the other hunter Identity Switch's we have I think are similar. Their hunter versions seem to put a spotlight on the darker aspects of their character and thus also why I think they tend to be depicted as inhuman, as a way to emphasize how they aren't how they normally are, except these dark parts which are normally hidden internally are now reflected externally in their appearance, and show them as monsters normally or exaggerated versions of their normal selves to mirror their inner darkness, but if that darkness was cranked up to the max.

Joker in a way is similar to Orpheus. Both used to be kind people but changed drastically after going through painful experiences. For Joker, this was the pain and humiliation he was forced to subject himself to day in and day out for the audience's amusement, the pain Sergei caused him, both physical by the acid, and the mental due to Joker's ruined face now preventing him from playing his role in Hullabaloo anymore, not to mention more emotional pain as Sergei was with the girl Joker loved, made more complicated when Joker learned Sergei was abusing her, whatever happiness Joker felt at Margaretha coming to him for comfort because of that abuse, complicated further as it was this event that made Sergei hurt Joker. And even more as Margaretha may not have loved him back, but Joker still cared about her. Put everything together, and it should make it easy to understand why Joker did eventually reach his breaking point, which was the day he killed Sergei, took his face, and then (likely) killed everyone else at Hullabaloo that day, which is the tragedy Mike refers to in his backstory, and is the thing motivating him to go to the manor.

Joker looks the way he does I think at least in part to represent Sergei, or at least maybe how Joker saw Sergei, but also combined with maybe how Joker wishes he was. Compared to Weeping Clown, Joker is much bigger and stronger. But he's also always happy and smiling, which is what Joker wants, what he's been unable to do for so long (just read Joker's deductions, I think it makes this apparent enough).

Moving on to Luchino, I think he's potentially the easiest to understand his Identity Switch/hunter version. His deductions and backstory make his interests clear, as well as how far he'll go for his research. Professor's trailer and backstory tell us in a way he sees his hunter version as "evolution" and stepping over the "last of my boundaries", while his current state (with Professor) is "a small price to pay on the path to truth". His rumor and summaries put best when they basically say Luchino's hunter version an emphasis on his "exploration into forbidden areas" or him going into "territories of taboo".

Maybe Luchino's most recent (4th) letter can give us a bit more insight. It says he is "I've spent my nights suppressing the inhuman desire within me and battling against that 'instinct'". Maybe, compared to his hunter version, this could help show that Luchino's hunter version, like the others, is still an emphasis on a character if they went all the way to the extreme and focusing on their darker traits. Based on his following comment in that letter about "understanding of humans", this could be what his real goal is.

Next I'll mention Alice and Memory. Memory we know is entirely because of Orpheus. It is how he views Alice. Or, to put another, it is what he wants to see. If we go back to Hollow's trailer, he says he wants to "rebuild paradise", which so far I think is the easiest thing to understand regarding what Orpheus is doing and why he has done everything he has.

We know he was torn up by guilt over the tragedy based on Alice's letter to Orpheus in the 2nd anniversary package, where she says "Please don’t blame yourself for father and mother’s death". I think this can even connect to a line by Burke in Bonbon's deductions, where Burke mentions "Since he got back from his 'real' parents, that brat lost various valuable items again... He tried to take full responsibility for it, but such tolerance and protection will only feed their greed".

There’s also how, based on Time of Reunion trailers (live and otherwise), cutscenes, and even Hollow’s essence (S19 E1), at least to me it seems to be implied that it is Orpheus’ fault the bandits got into Oletus Manor to kill Alice’s parents.

The farmer looking people we saw in the portrait during Time of Reunion and during Ashes of Memory when Orpheus is talking about his past may be Orpheus’ “real” parents, the ones Burke mentions during Bonbon’s deductions that Orpheus may be taking valuables from the manor for, which implies Orpheus’ real parents were likely “greedy” people.

During Orpheus’ story in Ashes of Memory, he refers to the man as a “forest ranger” the DeRoss couple hired. This actually can fit with Burke’s deductions, where he talks about the DeRoss couple “bought their own staff” for the manor, after which he says there was “a strange boy in this annoying group”. Orpheus being the son of forest rangers the DeRoss’ hired would explain why he appeared when the DeRoss bought their staff, which could include forest rangers, as we know Bane used to be a forest ranger hired to work on the “hunting grounds of Oletus Manor” (those grounds being the Forest of No Return, as that’s where we can find Bane’s cabin) according to his backstory. Though Bane, unlike Orpheus’ real parents, was loyal to the DeRoss couple.

Orpheus in his story says this forest ranger (likely his real father/parents) “colluded with bandits” (during that scene we see the forest ranger dropping some coins, likely to imply he hired the bandits), the same bandits that killed the DeRoss couple and “ransacked the manor”.

We know from Burke’s and Bonbon’s deductions, as well as from Time of Reunion, that the “key” to get into the manor was a piccolo, likely combined with having to use it to play the nightingale’s song as Alice says during Ashes of Memory.

We see Orpheus playing on this same piccolo in Novelist’s release trailer. We also see the bandits playing on this piccolo during the live action trailer for Time of Reunion. During Ashes of Reunion 2, as Alice is walking through the Muse Corridor, we see the lines “How did they get inside?!”, implying it shouldn’t have normally been possible, likely due to the security we know Burke installed for the manor.

If the piccolo was the key, we know that must be how they got in. How did they get it? Well, we know Orpheus has been taking valuables for his “real parents”. We also know he’s held and used the piccolo before. Maybe Orpheus knew about it from getting close to Burke, who does say right after first mentioning Orpheus in his deductions that the kid “showed great interest in my studio” and “I can always see his clothes or shoes sticking out from the corner”. It’s also possible Orpheus was able to learn about it or get his hands on it due to getting close to the DeRoss couple, especially once Alice was born and he got attached to her.

If Orpheus did help the bandits get into the manor, potentially by giving them the key, that would parallel Hollow’s essence trailer well, as we see in that trailer the young, still innocent Orpheus reaching his hand out to the shipwreck survivors, with the very next scene being these same people attacking the manor.

It would also explain Orpheus’ guilt and why he blames himself for Alice’s parent’s death according to Alice’s letter in the 2nd anniversary package.

Now why do I say all this (besides the fact I think as I talk and couldn’t help going on a tangent as I think about other things)? Orpheus is the one who sees Alice as “Memory”. “Memory” is just as her name says, a memory of the past. Alice looks just like she did back then. Back when things were happy, before their “paradise” was destroyed by the events of the tragedy. Hollow does say he wants to “rebuild paradise”, which reflects his desire to go back, to “look back” if you will just like Orpheus in the actual Greek myth, an action that causes him to break his promise to Hades and thus lose Eurydice.

Orpheus is unable to see Alice as she currently is. He is unable to move forward. He is unable to get past the guilt Alice mentions in her letter to Orpheus. In that same letter, she tries to tell him “You’ve already done everything in your power to save them; my survival is proof of this”. This can connect back to the words we saw in Ashes of Memory 2 when Alice is in the Muse Corridor. We hear someone saying “Take her and run. And don’t turn back”, followed soon after by someone asking for where the kids went (Orpheus and Alice), with the last line we see and hear being Orpheus who says “Don’t be afraid we’ll meet again”. This last line likely is a reference to how Orpheus helped ensure Alice’s survival as she mentions in her letter, potentially him trying to hide her from those looking for them (if they were found, it is possible they would’ve been killed like their parents. Though Burke and Bonbon’s deductions imply they were found, it’s possible timing and exactly who found them was important to ensure their survival).

But based on the first lines in that letter, it seems Alice (in the present, likely during the final game) so far has failed to get Orpheus to stop what he’s currently doing. We know she’s trying to stop him based on the shock and disbelief Source of Evil expresses during her essence to Hollow’s actions, as well as during Novelist’s release trailer as we see a lady holding Memory/Little Girl telling Orpheus to “Stop it! End all this now”.

Orpheus is incapable of stopping himself from focusing on the past, on revenge, on getting back what he once had. His pain and desire is too great, potentially to the point he was willing to use the drugs on himself as Alice in her letter to Orpheus says “regardless of whether you can or cannot remember��. Drugs to help him forget, to ease his pain, but also the same drugs that cause characters to hallucinate seeing others differently, such as seeing Orpheus as Nightmare.

Siren Song is the drug that causes hallucinations. We see Alice, right after she sniffs the bottle, to briefly hallucinate seeing Mary and Nightmare.

I also believe this is the same drug that was used on Jose’s father, Joaquin, and his crew the day they disappeared, depicted in Jose’s 1st letter. They mentioned things that the “cannons couldn’t kill”. The reasons the cannons didn’t kill anything was because the things they saw weren’t real. However, unfortunately for them, their actions still had consequences, which was why their ship likely sunk and why Jose, who waits for his father returns, never sees his father again, and why the Queen assumes Joaquin made off with her treasure and so punishes the Baden family.

(I also still believe in my theory that Jose’s father and crew were the shipwreck survivors depicted in Hollow’s essence in the Season 19 Essence 1 trailer who later may have ended up being at least some of the “bandits” that Orpheus’ real parents “collude” with aka hire or pay off to attack the manor, steal its valuables, and kill many of those inside, including Alice’s parents. We know Jose mentions his father changed course due to a storm in his 3rd deduction, while his 4th and 7th imply the “loss of most of the crew” wasn’t because they were fighting pirates, and instead because “the nightmarish waters had swept them away”. We know from deduction 2 that Joaquin’s change of course took them through an area “not recommended for sailing”. Therefore, the “nightmarish waters” and “loss of the crew” could imply they shipwrecked just like we saw in the Season 18 Essence 3’s (Source of Evil) and Season 19 Essence 1’s (Hollow) trailers. We also can make a good guess the large ship at Lakeside may connect to Jose’s father due to the items on the ship, including a map of the Mediterranean, where we know Joaquin was sent the day he disappeared, a paper with the same symbols as are on White’s compass, a Teru Teru Bozu doll, which is for praying for fine weather and can relate to the “nightmarish water” or the original storm that made Joaquin change course, a picture from Jules Verne’s Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea of a sailor being grabbed by a giant squid, and a nighttime picture that looks very similar to the images from Wu Chang’s backstory trailer. This could imply Jose and his father have been here before, and if his father participated in the attack on Oletus Manor that killed Alice’s parents, that could explain why Jose is so traumatized after they return from this voyage based on Jose’s panic attacks stated to be worsening as well as explain why Jose says in his 7th deduction that the “nightmarish waters” swept away both his “companions” as well as their “conscience”, which implies they did something bad based on the implications from lacking a conscience, especially when we know Joaquin saw this voyage as so important he refused to turn back due to a storm and instead changed course through an area not recommended for sailing. If they did shipwreck, causing them to potentially lose all their cargo, that’d risk Joaquin’s reputation and his desire for fame and fortune. So he would be the type who’d be willing to fall to the lengths of attacking and stealing from a manor to potentially regain what he lost. This would explain why Jose says whatever happened “awakened the demons flowing through the Badens' blood” as well as the Queen’s “wealth” they were said to have “protected” and returned with after the voyage, which is what earned Jose’s father the fame and fortune he always wanted. And again, it would explain some of the other sarcastic lines in Jose’s deductions including “Redemption: A sin the gods can't forgive, but a king can”, which can tie to how Orpheus as Hollow says in the trailer for his essence “Only a sinful soul does as it pleases” and “Revenge! To hell with the gods!”. This idea could also explain why Orpheus in Jose’s 3rd letter calls Jose a “gift” from a “friend who passed away” that Orpheus “treasured” to use in his experiment, so much so he was willing to pause the experiment when it looked like Jose’s mental state was deteriorating too much. The “gift” from the “friend” that “passed away” can be a sarcastic way to refer to Jose’s father.)

Speaking of the drugs that cause hallucinations, I want to go back to Joker. Remember how I said Orpheus is the one who sees Alice as Memory? Well I think it’s possible Margaretha is the one who sees Weeping Clown Joker as Smiley Face Joker. We know drugs weren’t used on Mike, Joker’s 3rd letter implies the same it seems based on “But even without the influence of drugs, Subject 8-0-3's emotions still moved uncontrollably toward the extreme”, for Violetta it was twice said that it “wasn’t the plan to use medicine” on her, and Murro like Mike has “?” for the 2nd spot of his serial number, which usually implies the character didn’t have the drugs used on them. In which case, Margaretha was likely the 1 to hallucinate Joker’s Identity Switch. And it makes sense too as Margaretha knew a lot about Sergei, ran away with him, but also experienced his abuse. We know from Margaretha’s 3rd letter that, due to the drugs, she mistook Joker as Sergei for a time. That could explain Joker having an appearance that may have a resemblance to Sergei. It could also explain why he’s as big as he is. It could be in part tied to her fear of Sergei due to his abuse.

That then leaves us with Norton and Fool’s Gold. We already got a good bit of information about him from his Design Notes video by Netease. His name itself comes from Norton’s 1st letter from Benny, as well as how the “strong contrast between his outer appearance and inner self” fits well with how Fool’s gold aka pyrite looks similar to gold but is actually iron.

After this part is likely the best answer to your question regarding what an Identity Switch is (https://twitter.com/IdentityVJP/status/1723176218563149901):

“IDENTITY characters and their bodies are somewhat similar to the concepts of id and superego. Or, it can be said to be the difference between the perception of other participants in the game and the person's own perception.

As for character design alone, when we select an IDENTITY character, we tend to enlarge his or her most prominent tags.

Norton's most notable tags were hard work, reticence, being weighed down by life, having no choice but to endure, suppressed anger inside, and ambivalence created by ambition and desire.

We showed one side through Survivor Norton and hoped to show another side through 'Fool's Gold.'”.

After this it further explains why he has a stony appearance, which they say involves his occupation as a miner and how he had been “losing his humanity”. This was why they made the hole in his chest, to show the mining accident damaging “more than his body. When he lit the fuse, his morals, social norms, and appearance of good nature were completely shattered”.

As we said, the Identity Switch/hunter versions are essentially an emphasis on their negative traits which are turned up to the max in this version of themselves. Sort of like how a ONCE skin is a what if something about their story changed, Identity Switches/hunter versions are like a what if the worst or extreme parts of a character were cranked up way more than they actually are.

With hunter Norton, going back to his design notes, it describes this version of Norton being someone that was “reborn in the collapsed mine”, while the hole in his chest involves him “no longer needing the lungs that had been in constant pain before, and that he had been given a new lease of life!”

At least for me personally, another visual for this being a version of Norton with his darker traits magnified is how Norton’s usually crooked smile is now instead a full smile. Norton in his survivor version has a crooked smile to emphasize his name as well as his 2 sides, 1 being his “gloomy and depressed” side (the sad Norton desperate to escape poverty and depressed at his inability to do so no matter how hard he works) while the other is his “avaricious” side (the one affected by the “magnets” said to have “disturbed his brain”).

Fool’s Gold having a magnetic pickaxe he can throw and recall, as well as dash towards, is a reference to Norton’s magnets, the ones he made after he took a chunk of the meteorite from Golden Cave after the mine collapse before managing to dig himself out.

Fool’s Gold/Hunter Norton is a version of Norton that has his greed and willingness to do anything to escape poverty turned up to the extreme. This is a version of Norton no longer in pain from black lung, a version no longer letting himself be abused by his coworkers or employers, a version where his darker side won the inner/mental conflict in Norton, which is depicted in his backstory trailer when we see him holding his head in pain and see both survivor Norton and hunter Norton at the same time (to even better show this is a conflict between survivor Norton, aka his better/good side, and his hunter version, aka his worse/bad side).

An even easier visual and proof of this conflict being part of at least normal, survivor Norton comes from Norton’s 2nd letter. The author is Norton, but he’s also talking to himself, trying to convince himself to accept the job and to kill the female he was asked to kill for the monetary reward he was offered. The fact he has to try to convince himself shows Norton needs convinced aka he hasn’t decided completely if he will go through with it or not, or at least he’s having 2nd thoughts, which again also helps to show survivor Norton and hunter Norton are different (that hunter Norton isn’t necessarily the real version, it’s a what if his darker side was magnified).

There is also the chance the eye in Golden Cave is involved in all this. The Famitsu article already suggested the magnets may be messing with his head, magnets made from the meteorite that came from Golden Cave, where the large eye is. We even see similar fiery eyes appearing as effects with hunter Norton’s S-tier Infernal Skin. I do think there’s a chance hunter Norton is a version of Norton controlled or manipulated (more than normal) by whatever the meteorite and the eye in Golden Cave is.

(I have discussed the idea of the Golden Cave eye being Cyaegha before: https://www.tumblr.com/sirenjose/731920677136924672/golden-cave-eye-cyaegha-theory-updated?source=share).

While I’m thinking about it, I do wonder if we can say Orpheus’ and Norton’s Identity Switch’s/hunter versions are different from the others. I say this as Orpheus has already been said to have multiple personalities, while for Norton he’s already been said to have 2 sides and we’ve already seen him arguing with himself in his 2nd letter. In a sense, I wonder if we can say their hunter versions are “real” in a sense, just that the ones we see in game are now actually (externally) visible and magnified more than normal.

Though speaking of the 2 of them, going back to you wondering if it could relate to the Identity Switch being someone more willing to follow the manor owner or supervising the games, we see Norton during Ashes of Memory 2 seemingly working with Norton. This is based on how Alice encountered Hunter Norton while chasing after Orpheus (the black figure she was initially chasing after), then she is knocked out by Orpheus while Alice is running from Hunter Norton, who we know is actually Norton based on his reflection in the puddles. After this, we then see Norton using the Hydra drug on Alice, with Orpheus likely nearby considering we hear him questioning if the drug is working as Norton is giving it to her. Norton is only officially announced to arrive at the manor the day after that scene takes place. The other bit making it pretty evident Norton is likely working with Orpheus is how we see Norton in the secret basement/cellar that no one besides Orpheus (and Alice now due to her investigation, but none of the other participants at least normally are shown to know anything about it) knows about, not to mention how he knows about Orpheus’ drugs that he likely wants to keep secret from everyone, especially the other normal participants, as them knowing would likely ruin his experiments.

So Norton (or the others really) I don’t think was turned into a hunter/got an Identity Switch because of a “punishment”, nor has he done anything I believe to warrant a punishment, especially with him seemingly being someone directly working with the manor owner rather than just 1 more game participant.

The hunter versions for Orpheus, Joker, and Norton seemed to have formed due to pain (especially over a long period of time) and trauma (powerful experiences). Memory is due to Orpheus’ desire to go back to when things were happy. Luchino I’m less confident about, but maybe we’ll get a better idea as we learn more about his game. It’s possible he could be because of his obsession. It could also be because someone hallucinated him that way similar to Margaretha to Joker and Alice to Norton, which is a combination of knowing or being told about the person and seeing them as more extreme than they currently/actually are likely due to fear. So far though, drugs seem to be the main cause, though not all hunters are just hallucinations (like Leo), but it’s hard to say without full confirmation by Netease how much of each hunter is hallucination and how much is real. We can make guesses, like Bane for example seems mostly real, but who knows if they might surprise us and show their real version is a bit more toned down, like they did for Joker and Luchino.

(As for the question about detention, I don’t believe it’s ever explained in detail, so I think it’s fine to imagine or explain it however you may want. My best guess is maybe it can be explained sort of like adrenaline. Kind of like how the last week before a season ends is called Final Push, I think when the last cipher machine is decoded, it’s like the “final push” to the end. For survivors, this is to escape. For hunters, it is to eliminate everyone. Survivors “borrowed time” talent, which is when they heal when the last cipher pops, has the text “To what end will the last gleam of hope lead?”, which connects with this. Hunters’ detention on the other hand has the text “What's the hurry? Stay here forever”, which I think could help back up by guess that survivors may be more “adrenaline”, while for hunters it may be more… something like bloodlust? The desire to eliminate them all before they can escape. If you want to imagine it as a loss of whatever humanity they had, even if temporary, I think that’s fine ^_^; !)

#idv #identity v #norton campbell #prospector #orpheus #novelist #nightmare #joker #smiley face #weeping clown #luchino #professor #alice #memory #alice deross #jose baden #first officer #idv norton #identity v norton #idv prospector #identity v prospector #fool's gold #fools gold #hunter norton #idv fool's gold #identity v fool's gold #idv fools gold #identity v fools gold #idv hunter norton #identity v hunter norton

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

a brief retrospective on Louis and Violet as love interests, Clementine's bisexuality, and the fandom's continued insistence on fighting over this

In December of 2019, I made a series of posts called "An Explanation of Why Louis and Violet are Both Excellent Love Interests" that explored my feelings on the topic after seeing a lot of fighting in the fandom over who's better; who is the "right" choice for Clementine?

The answer is simple: there isn't an objectively correct choice.

I compared Louis and Violet to the romantic options in other games, including Life is Strange, Persona 4, King's Quest 2015, and Catherine, as well as TWDG: A New Frontier. I wanted to show how much better TFS handled the romance versus those games, why we should be grateful for what we got since it could've been a lot worse, and how the fighting over who's "right" was a waste of time.

I suppose it's only fitting that I'd be driven to revisit this topic after seeing fans continue to argue amongst themselves over this years later in the trenches of a weakening fandom.

Just when I think I'm done writing pieces for TWDG, some random redditor writes an essay about how violentine only exists for "woke points" that grabs me by the throat and throws me down. Then another will insist that clouis is abusive since Louis voted against them in ep2 in their own essay and I'm dragged back here, kicking and screaming.

While I think my previous Excellent Love Interests posts about this are on the juvenile side, I do still agree with my main point: Louis and Violet are excellent characters who make for compelling love interests. The fact that we got them both, that we were given the choice, and that they're as well done as they are, is something I don't think we appreciate enough. Hell, I don't think we even appreciate that Clementine's a canonically bisexual protagonist as much as we should.

We're too busy trying to one up each other with, "Well, actually, clouis is superior because of this and this," and "no, you're wrong, violentine is actually better because of this and this," and sometimes a wild non-shipper will appear out of nowhere to slap down an, "actually, you both suck, singletine is better."

It's sad that this is what fandom inevitably defaults to, always. It stops being about the game we love, the thing that brought us here, and it becomes a pissing match.

Doesn't matter what fandom it is; we end up projecting too much of ourselves onto fictional characters, investing too much of our time into ship culture, hyper-fixating until it becomes part of us... and let's be real, sometimes it's in unhealthy ways.

So, when someone else attacks the things we're attached to, it becomes a personal attack... and when we feel threatened, we become defensive and retaliate... and sometimes, we take it too far and target others out of insecurity, to feel validated, even if it means going after someone who is just minding their own business.

Also, I think some people are just assholes who want to piss on everyone.

Because of this, I would like to discuss Louis and Violet as romanceable characters, why they're both important to TFS no matter who you choose, why Clementine being a bisexual protagonist matters, and the fandom's continued insistence on fighting over this.

For many personal reasons, I've always been trepid about being open with my sexuality as a bi woman. I've done a lot of reflection this year on why that is; internalized misogyny, the biphobia that lingers in the queer community, insecurities, regrets, how I tend to be harsher on female characters over male characters, why it took me so long to not feel afraid of engaging with queer media, admitting I was wrong about so many things I've said in the past, how it's all affected my writing, etc.

When TFS released and I made this blog, I had already accepted my bisexuality but was in no way public about it, not online or in my personal life. But playing the first two episode of TFS, being presented with both Louis and Violet as potential romantic partners struck something inside of me.

Yes, I picked Louis; we all know I'm a major clouis shipper at this point, and if you're new here, then now you know, too.

But it's the fact that Violet's also an option, that with just a few different button presses, Clementine could've fallen for her just as she did with Louis; that there's evidence in game that she shows interested in both of them no matter your choices; that no one in-game judges Clementine for who she chooses to be with... that meant something to me in a way that it hadn't before.

TFS wasn't the first game I played with a bi protagonist; in Excellent Love Interests, I compared Louis and Violet to Life is Strange's Chloe and Warren. I have a lot of mixed feelings about the first LiS game overall, but I've been quite open about my dislike of Chloe and indifference to Warren.

Chloe, to me, is everything I dislike in a love interest, predominately in wlw. 2023 was the year of "CJ dives into sapphic literature and it's a 50/50 chance of striking gold or gettin' hella eaten by disappointment, shaka brah." Meaning I've read a lot of wlw novels, and all the ones I hated featured a Chloe clone, sometimes done even worse.

And Warren? I'll be real honest with you- I couldn't even remember what his name was when I started writing this. I had to go back and check. That tells you what I think of him, no?

So, LiS didn't strike me the same way. Sure, I knew Max was a bi protagonist and that's great, but the choices weren't appealing to me. This was when I was a teenager still somewhat in denial of my sexuality, which most definitely contributed to me being uncomfortable when faced with a wlw relationship portrayed in-game, especially when I found myself wishing Kate was an option for Max... but y'know, "shhhhhhh if I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist."

When the first episode of TFS released, I was older, I was no longer in a not-so-great relationship, and had better accepted who I am. The first episode does a great job of introducing you to Louis and Violet, and giving you the opportunity to spend more time with the one you're interested in.

I actually really liked them both when ep1 dropped, but I've always had a preference for a character who is kind, deflects with humor, and tends to be picked on by the rest of the cast... so it was inevitable that I'd stick with Louis. Though I won't discredit Violet in ep1, or the rest of the game, just because I didn't choose her in the end.

That's one of the best things about Louis and Violet as options; they're opposites, yet alike in many ways. They have their appeals and charms. They're flawed. It never feels like a "love triangle" situation where they're fighting over Clementine. Louis and Violet are friends who have known each other from before the walkers came. It's refreshing to have two characters who are interested in the same person but don't go for each other's throats over it. When they do argue over her, it's more to do with AJ shooting Marlon and whether it's safe for the group to let them stay.

I can't fault anyone who struggled to pick between them. When someone talks about who they picked and why, it's all about the player's preferences.

It's your choice to make, and no matter what, you're not wrong for it.

This season concludes Clementine's story, regardless of what some comics will say. It's the last fight. It's her happy ending. She and AJ finally found a home, a family.

I've played these games since S1 came out in 2012, over ten years ago. Clementine holds a special place in my heart. Not only did this important character have a great final season [despite Telltale shutting down and TFS nearly being left incomplete, remember] but she's also revealed to be canonically bisexual.

They didn't release the whole season and then as an afterthought be like, "oh yeah btw she's bi, she has oneline of flirty dialogue with this character so see? we did good rep."

Yeah, I'm side eyeing you, ANF.

They didn't try to hide it. They presented it to the player unapologetically and made a conscious decision to exclude anything biphobic from other characters... which meant a lot to me.

Biphobia is real and it's not that I don't want it explored well in media, but there's something appealing and safe about a game with a bisexual main character who isn't questioned about it negatively; "You're bi? Doesn't that mean you cheat on all your partners?"

To give a compliment to Life is Strange: True Colors, I had a similar feeling in that game, too. Alex is openly bi, she can date either Steph or Ryan and no one questions the "legitimacy" of her bisexuality.

Because that's always a thing on top of everything else, y'know? "You're a bad bi unless you're with the 'gayer option.'" "Bisexuality isn't real, you're just confused." "I don't date girls who've been tainted by a man." "Oh, you're into girls? How about a threesome?"

Violet never turns her nose up at Clementine for admitting she had a crush on Gabe. Louis isn't ever gross about Clementine and Violet getting close. It speaks volumes for their characters and how accepting they, and everyone else at Ericson, are of Clementine no matter who she chooses, if anyone.

That acceptance, even if it's just in a game, means more than words can express to queer players who don't feel that acceptance in their daily lives.

Which means it hurts all the more when it comes to the fandom's own display of biphobia; "You're bi but ship clouis? Why ship something hetero when violentine is right there?" "Well, MY Clementine's straight because she picked Louis! Stop forcing the gay onto MY Clementine!"

Clementine's important to all of us. Why do you think so many people are pissed about the comics to the point of spewing disgusting bile toward Tillie Walden? I've said my piece on that plenty times before, so allow me to say it on this; the representation of bisexuality in Clementine is beautifully woven through TFS in ways that are subtle yet impactful, and I thank TFS for giving that to us.

One argument I've come across recently against Clementine's bisexuality, and violentine in general: "blegh they only included violentine/made Clem bi for lgbt points." y'know... as if that's a bad thing.

It bothers me because A. saying "I'm not homophobic *but*-" and then making a homophobic argument against violentine while insisting that Clementine's bisexuality came out of nowhere and was forced is icky, and B. I know I've said similar things about violentine in the past. I know I used to argue that violentine's underdeveloped, yet the devs pushed it to the forefront over clouis to pat themselves on the back for doing representation, etc.

I don't believe that anymore; remember when I brought up people making arguments out of insecurity? Yeah, that and being lowkey bitter that violentine got more dev attention than clouis sometimes even though like... that doesn't matter? It literally doesn't matter. That's what I meant when I said you get so invested that certain things feel like a personal attack when they're not.

Some of the developers of TFS are queer people. They probably wanted a bi protagonist with a wlw option because that representation is important to them and they had the opportunity to express it, not because they were trying to get "points" with anyone. Go listen to the commentaries for TFS; they talk about violentine with nothing but positivity, and they didn't do that to shade Louis or clouis shippers. And if you do think they did it shade fans, then maybe stop and consider why; do you actually believe that or are you annoyed that your fave wasn't the center of attention?

On the flip side, I also want to say that gloating and insisting that violentine is the better/right choice because of these things is also unpleasant and untrue. It sucks when it feels like things are biased against you and it sucks even more when that bias is weaponized by other fans to beat you down.

But honestly? If you need this much validation on your opinions about fictional characters, maybe you should stop to think about why that is and what it says about you, yeah?

Truly, this whole clouis versus violentine thing is irritating at best, vile at worse. Thankfully it doesn't happen as much on tumblr given the state of the fandom, and everyone's at least agreed that no matter their feelings toward each other, clemricca is worse. So, that's something, I guess.

I think the best way I can put this is you don't get to dictate what other people think and feel. Being passionate is great until it becomes an excuse to be an asshole. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you need to put your big kid pants on and accept that.

I'm under no impression that the fighting will ever stop, even when this fandom is dried up with only bones and memories haunting its desert... but at the very least, I can point some of it out and ask that we do better than this.

The focus gets lost in the fighting, and that focus is Louis and Violet themselves. Y'know, the two this retrospective's about.

Remember when I talked about Persona 4 in Excellent Love Interests and how much it sucks when the person you want to romance isn't actually an option--?

Hmm? What's that? Ah, yes, right- @pi-creates insists I add that TFS and Persona 4 actually are the same because Aasim wasn't an option and they're still bitter about that... but this isn't about Aasim, that's a topic for another day. Sorry Pi, but thanks for the screenshots used in this retrospective👍

Anyway, TFS gave us two excellent choices, and it would've been worse off had it only given us one of them, or none at all.

Louis wears charisma as a mask and uses humor as a shield to deflect. Violet, for as quiet and standoffish as she first appears, has a heart she's both eager and reluctant to share.

Louis is warm curtains of sunlight seeping through the murmuring woods of green leaves and little song birds. A heart carved into the rustic wood of an out-of-tune piano. Music echoing in the early morning hallways.

Violet is the glow of a full moon that illuminates still waters so the stars can dance in its reflection. Paint smeared over finger tips to offer a piece of herself meant to be worn. Constellations of stars named in secret.

They're both lonely people, often misunderstood by the others at Ericson, and sometimes by each other. They want to be known. They want to be seen.

But fear is a powerful wall to overcome.

And that's the beauty of choice. You get the impression of knowing them in the beginning, but it rarely breaks surface tension; Louis is nice and funny but undependable, Violet's rude and reserved and a little awkward. Neither are outspoken about any issues around Ericson, content to keep their heads down.

Clementine has to make the effort to know them, and the game establishes this by asking you an unassuming question: do you want to go hunting with Louis or fishing with Violet?

Clementine either makes an effort to understand Violet's feelings toward Brody and why she's so mean to her, and try to help her through it... or she doesn't listen to what Violet's saying, is dismissive, and ends up making things worse.

When Clementine goes hunting with Louis, she has to make the decision to spend time with him or ignore him in favor of hunting, and should she choose him, he opens up to her just a bit.

Then comes the confrontation with Marlon at the end of the episode where Clementine has to make the choice of who to appeal to. The gravity of this choice is often glossed over, I think.

Marlon has a gun pointed at her head, and she pleas for Louis or Violet to step in and save her. Both are hesitant because of course they are! They've known Marlon longer, he has a gun, and he's using manipulation to scare them into submission; he uses his friendship against Louis, and Minerva against Violet.

But when Clementine gets through to them? They stand between her and Marlon in rather in-character ways; Louis eases in with his hands up, attempting to deescalate the situation while Violet pulls out a weapon and demands he back off.

They risked getting shot. They risked death. They knew what was happening was wrong. They didn't want Clementine to die, they didn't fully believe Marlon's bullshit but were too scared to step forward until Clementine asked them, too. In that moment she basically told them, "I trust you. Instinct tells me you are the one who can stop this. My life is in your hands."

This choice changes them, and this moment ripples through the rest of the season. It makes perfect sense that Louis would be upset over Marlon's death and feel unsafe with Clementine and AJ there whereas Violet sees the death as justified and Clementine and AJ shouldn't be kicked out over it. It's an overwhelming situation for everyone.

I've talked about ep2 and the vote until my lungs nearly collapsed and I saw the gates of Hell over the horizon... but that's fine, I can talk a little more about it and maybe this time the flames with cleanse me of my sins or something.

This is where the fighting really began, and I shouldn't have to say it again, but I will anyway: There isn't an objectively correct answer here, there's only personal preference.

Louis and Violet take very clear, opposite stances on this situation. I think they're both a little wrong and a little right; they shouldn't ignore that AJ killed Marlon, but kicking them out isn't the best solution either.

As a clouis shipper, I happen to like the way these events play out with Louis' vote. But not everyone feels that way. For some, Louis' vote is a deal breaker, making Violet the more appealing option given she voted for Clementine and AJ to stay.

Do you want a girl that's been by Clementine's side from the beginning and was vocal about keeping her and AJ here?

Great, Violet's the choice for you. Enjoy the lovely moonlight and constellation mini-game.

Do you want the extra angst of a boy who made a vote he comes to regret and then does everything he can to apologize and make it up to Clementine?

Wonderful, here's Louis. He'll play you a song he wrote and then name it after Clementine, it's very cute.

While on the topic of ep2, I also want to discuss the episode's final choice of saving either Louis or Violet and the consequences.

You know how in other games, say like massive RPG's with "good" and "evil" choices you can make that end up defining your character? You know how sometimes people question why developers even bothered putting those evil routes in since a majority of people will choose to be good? This isn't a new topic of discussion, but it's relevant to my point- they do it because the option to be evil makes the choice to be good more impactful. If you do choose to be evil, you did it knowing you could've been good and yet you decided chaos was the way to go, and now everyone and everything around your character suffers.

I don't think it only applies to binary "good" versus "evil" choices, either.

TWDG is great with its "You can only save one of them" choices, even if they usually fumble with the consequences in later episodes.

When I'm faced with this choice to save either Louis or Violet, I don't save Louis just because I like him more. Sure, initially that's why I saved him on my first run... but then the rest of the season came out and I learned the consequences of the choices I did and didn't make.

Knowing that he'll get his tongue cut out if I don't save him makes me all the more anxious to choose him. And I know violentine shippers are gutted knowing that if they don't save her, she'll feel so betrayed that she turns on Clementine and in the end is blinded in the boat explosion, so they're just as eager to save her.

But all of us have to live with the consequences of what happens to the one we didn't save, too. We made the decision to save the one we love at the cost of hurting the other we didn't love enough. You can't save them both. You're forced to hurt one of them in order to protect the other.

And it doesn't even stop there. TFS isn't done twisting the knife.

Mere moments before you have to make the choice to save one of them, Lilly's standing over Clementine with her finger on the trigger... only to then be tackled by the person you didn't choose to spend time with.

They just saved Clementine's life only to be dragged away by their neck, and the game asks you what that's worth: They got captured saving you, so do you save them in return or do you remain loyal to the one you chose before?

And when you know the consequences of both routes, when you know Louis will have his tongue cut out and Violet will have her eyes burned?

Louis and Violet are good people at their cores who only wanted to be understood and loved, and no matter what, you have to abandon one of them for the other... and they are left physically and mentally traumatized because of it.

But wait, there's more. The one you didn't save will always survive to the end and act as a constant reminder of what you chose... but the one you saved? If you don't trust AJ, then you'll be forced to watch them get torn apart and eaten alive by a herd of walkers. The only way to save them is to trust AJ so that he shoots Tenn.

A child has to die in order for you to save the one you love again, a choice you indirectly made.

The ending shows you the one you didn't save, and it shows you Tenn's grave... and it presents a quiet question: was it worth it?

Would you make those choices again?

That's the power Louis and Violet bring to TFS.

That's why the choice matters.

We justify trusting AJ because we'd rather see Louis and Violet live over Tenn, knowing we're taking away the best friend AJ's ever had and allowing Minerva to get her way. We save Louis knowing that it breaks something inside of Violet and results in her permanently losing most of her eyesight. We save Violet knowing that we'll find Louis bloody and sobbing in the cell after having his tongue cut out of his mouth.

And we argue about it amongst ourselves even though it's all fucked. There isn't a true happy ending here, not for everyone.

Louis and Violet stand on their own as great characters, but you only get the true depth depending on how you play. They're excellent love interests because they care for Clementine. Through their relationship with her, they grow as people and find the acceptance and love they're starved for.

It's not perfect, but it honestly doesn't need to be. There was care woven into these characters. Both routes have a wide appeal. That means something to so many people.

I know we as fans often will say we wanted more, we wanted this and that, we wish this was different. It's not a dating sim where the main objective is to woo them. It's not a massive RPG with hundreds of hours to explore every nook and cranny of their characters. This is a Telltale game. It's a narrative with Clementine and AJ at the forefront, and it's up to you whether you want Louis or Violet to share that spotlight.

It's a story about Clementine finding a home, about molding what kind of survivor AJ comes. It's about Clementine meeting two broken people with glass shards at their feet, about her glass mixing with theirs. It's a game about choice; which glass pieces do you pick up, and which do you step on?

We should take more time to appreciate Louis and Violet. We should share our appreciation for the development team for giving us a bisexual lead with two great love interests, especially since we almost didn't get TFS in its entirety; we can hate Skybound as much as we want for the Clementine comics, but without them, this team wouldn't have been able to finish the game they were clearly passionate about.

We should have more self-awareness and try to understand why we like and dislike things without targeting others.

In conclusion?

I think they're both neat 👍

#twdg #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg violet #twdg clouis #twdg violentine #clouis #violentine #long post #i didn't plan on writing this for new years but here we are #might as well end 2023 with some clouis and violentine talk mixed in with some self-reflection and shade toward reddit #i have many thoughts so thanks for reading them

[tallsc]

AvA Blue Character Analysis

Starting this analysis, I thought I would have trouble coming up with something important to talk about with Blue. Their character's been pretty stated, right? They're a pacifist potion-creator who likes eating weird stuff and is good with a bow. They're pretty acrobatic, they're a decent builder but not the best, they don't like being in leadership roles. That's their character, right?

No, it isn't.

The first statement in that list is wrong. Or, at least, is missing many key details that explains a lot more about what Blue is actually like.

Blue has been commonly described as a pacifist, and I can understand why. Before looking into this topic, that's how I thought of them too. They've never been one to start a fight with their friends (unlike most every other member of the Color Gang) and in Piglin War, they wouldn't hurt the piglins, only the zombies.

But that doesn't make them a pacifist. It highlights another aspect of their character that I will discuss later in this analysis, but it doesn't make them a pacifist.

Blue has been shown, time and time again, to kill. They killed the ghast with Green in season 1, along with Yellow's ghast friend in one of the shorts. They have fought pillagers with lethal force, and taught villagers to do the same. They even killed piglin brutes along with the rest of the Color Gang in the Ultimate Weapon. They never hesitated to do that, despite going out of their way (and almost dying) to avoid hurting any of the piglins in Piglin War.

Additionally, they seem to enjoy the act of fighting. They happily join sparring matches with the rest of the color gang, and will even initiate them as long as they know it is all in good fun. So they do sometimes enjoy battle, and show no hesitance to kill when the situation requires it.

This doesn't make Blue any worse than the rest of the characters, since they have all fought mobs and killed before and they all like fighting, but it certainly doesn't make them entirely peaceful. So why do they have a reputation as a pacifist? Why do they seem so reluctant to start serious fights, and why were they so careful around the piglins in Piglin War?

Well, the answer to that seems to be that Blue forms a very close protective bond with those they care about, and they form those bonds very quickly. Everyone in the Color Gang cares about each other, of course, but Blue tends to express their bonds in a different way, and forms said attachments so quickly, that their actions tend to resemble pacifism.

Blue has consistently been quietly protective of their friends in a way that none of the others seem to express. They avoid fights - with their friends. They try to stop conflicts - between their friends. They go out of their way to make sure their friends don't get hurt. They risked their life multiple times to save their piglin friends, both in Piglin War and in The King. Their main focus is often to support their friends and, most importantly, keep them safe.

In fact, while they've never backed down from a possibly-dangerous adventure, they also have never (purposefully) started one. The only time they did start anything of the sort, they went out of their way to not bring any of the others. New adventures can be dangerous after all, and the last thing they want is for their close friends to get hurt.

This apparent desire for peace that has led to Blue's reputation as a pacifist is really more a focus on keeping their friends safe by avoiding infighting, rather than them disliking battle in general. But this still seems like a good thing, on a surface level, since being the protective mediator should help to keep those friends they value so deeply safe.

But there is a problem with Blue's thought process. Because their friends have gotten hurt before. And, worse, people who Blue had started to view as a close friend have hurt them. And they haven't taken either scenario well.

Blue often appears to be the one who's hit the hardest whenever it appears their friends have been hurt or killed. Everyone cares, everyone's upset, but Blue always appears the most distraught. They're so afraid to lose their friends that they will regularly risk their own life or even harm their friends on accident - most notably in the Ghast friend short - in an attempt to protect them. Blue isn't instinctual like Orange, but their actions can still be misguided when they don't have time to think everything through.

But there's more than one way to lose a friend. Purple's betrayal seems to have affected them deeply, such that - significantly after the betrayal, even after it appeared Purple was their ally again - Blue was very reluctant to trust anyone who reminded them of Purple. Far before Mango revealed their plan, Blue still did not trust them, solely because Mango reminded them of Purple. Blue puts in so much energy and trust into their friends that losing one through betrayal hits them incredibly hard.

Blue is a lot of things. Like all the Color Gang, Blue makes friends easily. They always do their best to keep their friends safe, both from outside threats and from each other. They're crushed at the idea of their friends dying, and will risk their life to stop that from happening. They're afraid of betrayal.

But one thing that Blue is definitely not, is a pacifist.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed, you thought of this topic in a new light, or at least found it interesting! I'll be honest, I really did think of Blue as the pacifist one up until now, but from what I can tell now that's based in something entirely different.

Thanks to rigatoniiiiiiii for the suggestion to do something for Blue! And sorry for like directly contradicting the one thing you said about them but this was the topic I came up with- 'XD I was considering doing something on their relation with Green here too but this is a long enough analysis already so I'll do that some other time.

#alan becker #animation vs minecraft #animator vs animation #blue #analysis #fun fact while looking at the ultimate weapon episode to confirm some things #while most of the piglins just seemed to be knocked out #a few do die and turn to smoke #at least one of them killed by blue #namely that bit of smoke in the first picture w a s a piglin #imma be honest i'm starting to think blue might have the highest kill count in the color gang #hoping there's no glaring errors here but i've looked it over enough times so probably should just send it

[starry-eyed-steve]

What do you have against Ronance? It's clear Robin was attracted to Nancy as well as Vickie. Not only that, she jumped off a boat into monster-water for her, for goodness' sake. It's a bad-faith argument to say that people don't ship Vickie with Robin because she's a bisexual sapphic woman. Greatwise/Will and Gareth is not comparable in the slightest as that is a crack ship that never interacted. We DID have scenes with Robin and Vickie, though few.

And I'm gonna be So For Real, more people would ship Rovickie if Ronance was not there. People would devour those crumbs. But why choose crumbs, when you have a potential meal we spent a whole season with?

Okay, so this is really long, I'm sorry this took way too much time. I know I went a bit overboard. If there are any errors, please ignore lmao. Thank you for sending me an ask for a discussion. I also want to preface that I don't hate Nancy as a character, I don't like how she is written in certain situations and that the show overlooks mistakes she makes, and by pointing out those mistakes on her behalf is not me hating on her. Overall, I think she deserves better than what she is given both in the show and fandom.

First things first, Robin didn't jump into the water for Nancy. It was a delayed response after seeing her best friend being dragged under water. She's not as brave as Nancy. If we would apply the same logic, then Eddie would have jumped for Robin because he's in love with her. So no Robin jumped for Steve and should have been the first to do so, but because that scene was used for Stancy later (Eddie giving the speech to Steve in the woods) it had to be Nancy in that instance. It's really bothering me that this scene is so misread because people just don't get Robin's character. Who would you jump for, your best friend you know better than yourself or the girl you met a day ago?

The whole premise of Ronance (platonic or romantic) in s4 was so ooc for Robin, s3 Robin would have never acted the way like s4 Robin did. And I think that has something to do with what I said in the other post. We don't have enough time. There is no conflict when different groups of people come together because the show needs everyone to get along to save the world, and they couldn't elaborate on complex feelings a person might have towards others. So the show made Robin throw herself at Nancy's feet, despite thinking not too highly about her a season prior. Same with Steddie, the OG script was about how Steve and Eddie didn't get along first but it was cut out because there is no time to proper develop new relationships, even tho it would be more interesting. But again, that would mean the show would have to give us more episodes, which is unfortunately not the case.

So you see, I just don't think Robin would have acted the way she did around Nancy based on the character traits she displayed in s3. Furthermore, I will bring up Steve, which is a sensitive topic when it comes to Ronance. I don't want to come off as someone who in general makes a lesbian/sapphic relationship about a man's feelings, however because Steve has history with both girls I can't ignore him because Robin wouldn't either.

A little bit of background of Robin prior to meeting Nancy:

In s3, Robin couldn't stand Steve, and later, we found out why. It had mostly to do with her crush, Tammy Thompson, who had only eyes for him. Yeah, he was obnoxious, and Robin couldn't stand his smugness and arrogance, but the main reason was Tammy and her being kinda jealous of Steve in general because he had no problems fitting in. So she held on to this grudge against Steve for maybe even years. That tells us she doesn't forget when someone has wronged her and maybe, to an extent, her friends. Like she seems to be a person who has your back, no matter what.

Idk if you consider Rebel Robin as canon (I mean Maya narrated the podcast soo I mostly view it that way) but before Barb was Nancy's bff, she was close with Robin and later ditched her for Nancy. That in itself would leave a bad taste in Robin's mouth, and I guess she wouldn't be Nancy's biggest fan. Maybe that's why the priss comment in s3. Again, she had no problem disliking Steve because her crush liked him, but then she does an 180 with Nancy despite Barb being her actual friend leaving her for Nancy. Losing a friend to another person is much worse than a crush you never talked to, not liking you back or liking someone else.

But even if you ignore the Barb stuff and don't think it's canon, Robin still wouldn't be Nancy's biggest fan in the beginning and that has something to do with how Stancy ended and Jancy begun. You have to keep in mind Steve is Robin's bff, one if not the most important person in her life. He's everything to her she trusts him completely. He was maybe even the first person to know she was gay. Then why on earth would Robin A try to befriend Nancy, who broke his heart, and B trying to push her without a thought to get together with him again. It doesn't make any sense to me, based on how Robin was introduced.

Steve may have not any hard feelings for Nancy, maybe he only said positive things about her to Robin because he still views himself as the only person who fucked up in that relationship and not that Nancy was already in love with Jonathan for a while before things ended. Idk where you stand on the whole cheating thing, but it doesn't matter because rumors outside of the relationship would spread. Steve, the most popular guy in school, who is well liked, got left by his girlfriend of 1 year for the school freak, not even 2 days after a public fight. Like people would go crazy and Robin would have heard those rumors as well. You have to admit getting together with a new guy, not even after 48h is, I don't want to say weird, but not very cool, okay? Plus, Tommy would spread extra nasty shit because he hates Nancy and Jonathan and wants to hurt Steve as well. Robin would view her through those rumors, plus Steve having a hard time letting go, being heartbroken about it, there is no doubt in my mind that she wouldn't side eye Nancy.

Those two reasons, Barb and how Stancy ended, are the main ones as to why I think Robin was ooc for desperately wanting to befriend Nancy.

So the way I would have built up Ronance would be Robin being aloof towards her, and Nancy would have been the one who wanted to befriend her in the first place. Nancy never has to work for her relationships with others. People usually make the first move with her, so she never has to give much thought to it. Like Steve still loves her, Jonathan was ready to follow her wherever even if it endangered his family, and Fred followed her around like a lost puppy as well. And with Robin, it could have gone differently. Nancy should have made it her mission to make it up to Robin. Like she desperately wants a friend, she doesn't understand why Robin is being cold to her. By making her the instigator, Nancy would have to reflect on her mistakes and how she treated people, which would finally give her some personal character growth. Plus, it would have made the introduction to Stancy (romantic or platonic) way smoother and more balanced because Nancy never reflected on it. Steve's just available she doesn't have to make it up to him as well. Nancy never really addresses her faults in relationships, and the narrative in Stranger Things lets her off the hook every time. Letting Steve believe he was a terrible boyfriend despite liking Jonathan instead of him? No problem, no consequences. Steve still likes her. In s3 the show was again on her side when she fought with Jonathan by giving her the Karen pep talk, yes she apologized to him but she didn't understand his struggles really because she gave him the don't ever doubt me comment which kinda destroyed her apology imo. Furthermore, as soon as there was a rough patch in s4 with Jonathan, she expected him to come to her instead of going to him and fixing it because she has the financial means to do so, which indicates she still doesn't fully understand Jonathan's financial problems. Also, in general, Jonathan is terrified to tell her the truth, so he gets high to cope. It doesn't seem that he thinks Nancy is understanding.

Again, Robin could have been the person that would have made her realize wait, the way I take people for granted, and sometimes treat is wrong. Instead, we got yet another person instantly liking her and going along with everything she does, so Nancy never had to do anything for it, despite the obvious conflicts that should have arisen when they first met. But like I said before, the show doesn't have much time and focuses more on the plot, so there is no real development for characters, and everyone has to get along. I also think Stranger Things wanted a strong girl duo like Elmax, so they just threw Ronance together without conflict because they wanted to avoid drama, which would take up too much screentime. I can't emphasize the fact that Stranger Things suffers so much because it has too much plot and not enough time. Plus, I believe making Robin angry at Nancy on Steve's behalf would mean acknowledging that Stancy ended in a bad way or that Jancy maybe didn't have this cute start as a romance, but that would also mean recognizing Steve might have not been the only one who was wrong which is simply not possible. When s2 aired and people pointed out hey did Nancy cheat on Steve, did they really break up because a lot of people didn't view the fight in the ally as a break, especially because Nancy mentions she likes Steve at Murray's and Steve went to her house, the Duffers had to confirm it via interviews because I doubt they thought people would sympathize with Steve. Hence, why the narrative only blames him because they wanted the audience root for Jancy.

Long story short, I would have switched roles for platonic Ronance in the show. When it comes to romantic Ronance, that's mostly on the fandom. Everyone is allowed to ship whatever, I personally just don't think they are a good match. I don't see Nancy being patient enough with Robin's neurodivergent ways. She wouldn't handle her rambling over time very well. Nancy gets quickly irrated and snaps. Like Robin already felt the need to explain herself to her, making sure everything is okay because Nancy made her feel like her personality is too much and has faults, like her mom constantly tells her. Whereas with Vickie, she felt immediately at ease when they talked. More of that later. Robin is also poor, maybe a bit better off than Jonathan, but still, Nancy already doesn't get Jonathan's problems. Another reason is that because Steve is Robin's bff, Robin wouldn't want to date her all together. Like she sees Steve still likes her, she knows how much Nancy hurt him to a point that he is serial dating because he has like trust issues, that would immediately turn her off. Robin values Steve's friendship way too much than try to jeopardize it in any way. It's not like Steve wouldn't allow her to date Nancy, I think he would do everything to make Robin happy even if it costs his own happiness. Robin knows Steve. She would know that he would be hurt, and that's ultimately the factor that turns her off. Maya already confirmed that Robin values platonic relationships so much, so yeah. Just think about it that way. How would Robin feel if Steve suddenly would show interest in Vickie and starts dating her? That would be kinda fucked, same goes for Ronance, Robin knows Steve still likes her. I'm also a believer that you shouldn't necessarily date your bffs ex, it's just too messy especially if that relationship ended rather badly.

@findafight had this amazing post about one-sided Ronance, where they described exactly what I'm trying to convey. Nancy is the one interested, but ultimately, Robin declines because of her relationship to Steve. They also have several other posts about Ronance if you want to check it out. Another blog that discusses Ronance and has similar opinions is @thestobingirlie

What I dislike the most is that in Ronance, mostly Robin is only an ounce of her typical character. Her relationship with Steve is downplayed. She makes fun of him with Nancy, she lies to him about her relationship, even asks for sex advice in some fics which is just very weird and so ooc for her to do. Same goes for Steddie, as soon as either Steve or Robin go into a relationship both characters are so ooc, you almost don't recognize them, plus they only have time for their partners and their friendship gets sidelined, which again doesn't make sense for their characters. Ronance is also mostly beneficial to Nancy as it's viewed more how Robin can save her so she doesn't have to end up with a man. Hence, all the posts about how Robin is the only person who gets her, which is also such a shitty thing to say because both Jonathan and Steve were trying. Like Nancy's character development hinges more on her relationship with Robin than doing some soul-searching. Because for real, all her relationships so far are kinda meh because she doesn't know how to communicate properly with her partners, Robin wouldn't magically make everything better because she's a girl. Nancy needs to be single first and discover who she is without jumping in a new relationship. She needs therapy and has to work on her people skills to be a better partner for future relationships.

Also, so many people want Nancy to have a friend, and when Robin comes along, they immediately make it romantic. Robin can still be there for Nancy and understand her as a friend. I don't think she was romantically interested in Nancy in the show. She was actively pushing for Stancy. She only ever talked about being into Vickie romantically. Robin should be allowed to make a friend who is a girl without making it into a romance just because she is a lesbian. Lesbians can have platonic girl friends, lol. Fact is that so many see Robin interacting with a girl as romantic because she is looking at her and then ignore her real crush she talks about all the time.

Now to Rovickie and Vickie. What I meant with people not giving Vickie a chance because she's a girl and interested in a sapphic relationship is a common occurrence throughout fandoms in general. Guys are usually preferred when talking about characters or shipping. Girls have it so much harder. Like with Gareth, I don't think my comparison of him and Vickie was nonsensical or dumb. The fandom had no problems coming up with interesting headcanons for him, even outside the crackship. Almost all the hellfire boys, but especially Gareth because he's the most objectively attractive one of the group, got more love from the fandom. Vickie, on the other hand, is mostly used as the villain in Ronance fics, who is in the way of the main ship. People in general call her boring or too similar to Robin, which is insane because we have one scene where she rambles because she is talking to her potential crush. Also, being similar doesn't have to mean it's bad. Like I mentioned earlier, Vickie rambling is showing Robin it's okay to do so, which makes her feel immediately relaxed because she doesn't have to explain herself to Vickie. Not to mention the biphobia that runs through fandoms. The fact that Vickie had a boyfriend, who she broke up with, was enough. People usually headcanon Nancy as a lesbian than making her bi. Steve's only a bi icon when he's shipped with guys, like him dating a girl is seen as less valued or popular. Again, everyone can headcanon characters sexuality how they like, you do you it's just apparent that characters who are seen as bi are only celebrated for dating a person of the same sex.

Lastly, think about it if Vickie was a guy who was the love interest for Steve, there would be non-stop content for her. She would be well loved within the fandom. But Vickie is a girl, and if she were used as the love interest for Steve instead of Robin, she would also face the same scrutiny the already faces now. She's the villain in the way of ships because she's only a side character and not the full meal like you described. A male characters even with almost no screentime, will always get better treatment than female characters.

#robin buckley #nancy wheeler #anti ronance #steve harrington #stobin #platonic stobin #vickie stranger things #rovickie #rockie #stranger things #sandra says stuff #anon #anonymous #answered

[stvrdrops]

the american actress pt 2 | pt 1 ☆ shuri x fem!reader

after seeing how stressed you’ve been and how it’s impacting your relationship with the princess, shuri holds herself to a promise she had made early on in your relationship.

warnings : this is like full on smut so expect strap ons, kissing, and overall mentions of sex lol

word count : 3k+

note : i got some requests to do part two of the american actress so here it is ! i wrote this all in one setting and i’m not the best at writing smut but i hope it’s a good enough predecessor. i set it up for there to be a potential part 3 so we will see what happens !! ^_−☆

it had been almost a whole year after attending the gala held in wakanda. in those many months so much of your life had changed. shuri and you had been essentially “courting” as her country would call it, considering she is royalty. the press found out shortly after, and then the whole world knew. you two quickly became perhaps an even bigger power couple than tony stark and pepper.

however, some people did not approve of the relationship you had with shuri. these people ranged from those in wakandan tribes to silly twitter stans that had a lot to say online. you had heard your fair share of remarks from both sides of the coin, however shuri was always there to comfort you about it.

“they are just jealous, my love.” she would whisper to you as she held you in her arms. she loves when you curl into her lap and just let her hold you. it is when she feels most at home no matter where she was. you had become her home and she had quickly become yours.

you worried so often about getting wakanda to fully approve of your relationship with her. mainly it was just trying to convince the council to love you, but the nation’s thoughts mattered as well. after all, you’d be considered a princess of the nation after marriage. it was far too soon to think of marriage, but due to you dating the princess of the richest place in the world it was a thought you often kept in mind.

if dealing with the worlds approval of your relationship wasn’t enough, you had also gotten booked for a major motion picture movie deal. it was centered around your character in a dystopian world she is aiming to destroy from the inside out. it was really just another action movie, which you didn’t enjoy because you had just started exploring other genres. however, what pushed you towards the deal was the talk of an oscar. they were just rumors, but apparently you could have a great shot at winning one with this movie. it’s an absolute dream of yours to win one. it’s better if it happens sooner than later. after all, if you did end up marrying shuri one day would you be forced to quit acting? you didn’t enjoy thinking about giving up your career, but you were sure that shuri is worth it. you wanted to discuss the topic with her sometimes, but something about it would make you too scared to bring it up. it was early into the relationship still and you didn’t want to overwhelm her or scare her away.

little did you know, she could tell you had done much overthinking over the last couple months. you two had been apart for a while due to your filming in another country. she drowned herself in lab work to distract from thinking about you. before you left she had given you your very own kimoyo beads so that calling could be better and faster no matter where you were. however, you barely used them. she would attempt to reach you through them but you were always too busy or tired. when you did answer she could hear how tired and stressed you sounded. she felt awful keeping you on the phone in that state, so the calls were never long. shuri, instead of becoming frustrated with the situation of the relationship, began working on a way to help you destress if your schedule allowed it. she had remembered mentioning this to you before, but surely you didn’t remember the sleazy comment.

your movie was being put on pause for a few weeks due to your costar spraining their ankle from a silly stunt. you had told them countless times to just have the stunt double do it, but they were too headstrong. despite feeling awful about the whole situation, you were glad to be spending some time recuperating and seeing shuri again. your girlfriend had been excited to know she was going to be able to see you within a few hours. you had been confused by this news, as you assumed you’d probably fly back to your apartment in nyc for a few days and then go see her. however, she had apparently heard of the accident on set and how it was delaying the progress for a few weeks. she gave very clear instructions over the phone:

wear the outfit that was coincidentally placed on your bed in the hotel you were staying in.

grab an overnight bag, that really needed to be made for many nights.

head to the limo that’s waiting downstairs for you.

you followed her instructions with no pushback despite wanting your beauty sleep before seeing her, you too had been excited to see her. you felt like you had been neglecting her lately which hurt your heart. she insisted she understood the situation and that she may have moments of her own like this someday in your relationship. it didn’t make you feel much better to hear those things though.

the box on the bed contained a sheer black lingerie dress made of only the finest materials. a matching black set of lace lingerie was underneath it which only made you snicker. of course she picked out something so scandalous as this. you hid the sexy attire underneath a large hoodie and shorts as you made your way to the limo.

the limo of course drove you to a location where a jet was waiting. a member of the dora milaje greeted you as you approached the jet by saying, “hello, princess.” a wink following after.

it caught you by surprise to hear yourself be called that. some of the people in wakanda would do it whenever they saw you due the fact you and shuri were dating. when you told shuri of this she only laughed and said, “they are only messing with you.” you would scrunch your nose in response to her teasing.

you made your way onto the jet and the woman warrior followed after you. it took off with ease and you allowed your eyes to shut for the remainder of the time. the distance would be traveled fast, but any bit of sleep you could gain was definitely worth it.

“y/n, we have arrived in wakanda.”

the voice of the woman makes you suddenly open your eyes as if you were on full alert. she gives you a soft smile before helping you stand from the comfy seat you were sitting on.

“thank you.” you say to her, in which she nods.

one nice thing about wakanda is that you never need to worry about taking your bag to your room. the people around you were always ready to take your bag for you and place it in shuri’s room or elsewhere so that you could easily go and see her right away. that's exactly what they had done with your overnight bag you brought. the only thing you had to do was find the princess, which you were informed was in her room waiting for your arrival.

two members of the dora milaje accompanied you through the beautiful halls towards shuris room. you never quite got over just how beautiful wakanda was despite your many visits. every time you came, shuri would show you something new about the nation or the palace. you loved the little moments when she would make fun of the architecture or say how she could make something better or more advanced with her tech. she never fully exited out of her mad scientist role, even while with you.

the dora milaje stopped in front of the ever so familiar door. you smiled at them before pressing the doors open. you didn’t bother knocking on your lover’s door considering you were told she had been expecting you.

when you entered the doors shut behind you. your eyes wandered around the room to see scattered flowers among white sheets and open windows displaying the beautiful stars and city of wakanda. you thought everything was so beautiful and well set up. it warmed your heart to see how much effort she had put into all of this for you. you felt like you should’ve been doing this for her though, seeing as though you feel as if you had neglected her. however, shuri had often liked spoiling you, so you let her.

you noticed that the only thing missing from the room was shuri. you wondered where she could’ve possibly been until a voice answered your thought for you.

“hello ms. y/n. shuri will be joining you shortly.”

it had been griot, an ai that took you months to stop being scared of it whenever he randomly spoke. you see, shuri liked taking you in very public spaces. you had a fear of being caught. and somehow every time you were allowing her to be handsy in those situations, griot would speak out of nowhere and scare you half to death.

“hello griot, i appreciate the heads up.”

“my pleasure.”

you took off the hoodie and shorts, leaving yourself only in the lingerie she had given to you. you assumed it would be a nice little present for her considering she had put all this together. when you sat yourself onto the bed wearing the exposing lace, your eyes landed on something.

it had looked like a camera in front of the bed, but not directly in front. it hadn’t looked like a normal camera either, more like a high tech one. you assumed shuri had designed it. it had her qualities written all over it.

“do you like? it’s my own personal design.”

her voice tears your eyes away from the device and onto her. she entered through her side bedroom door wearing just a tank top and sweats. her hair had been freshly faded, leaving her perfect pile of curls resting atop her head. you felt far more exposed than her, but the tank top made you throb the same way the lingerie made her throb. she found out from one of the first times you got intimate with her that tank tops were a thing you loved seeing her in.

“you look good.” you say to her after watching her move around to the device.

“and you look even better.”

“hmm…” you groan as you let yourself fall back completely onto the bed, “i don’t feel better.”

she chuckles, “don’t worry, i’ll make you feel better.”

you can’t help but blush at her words and the deep tone she uses. your body even tingles a little. you didn’t realize how badly you missed her kissing and touching you until she was standing right in front of you. you just wished she would stop messing around with that stupid piece of tech.

“won’t you just come here already? i’ve missed you.”

“be patient. i’m attempting to set up this camera.”

oh, so it is a camera.

“oh?” you couldn’t help but vocalize your thoughts.

“ah there we go.” she said as you hear a little beep coming from the device. her footsteps can be heard making their way towards you.

“come here.” she says before picking you up and setting you down in her lap. you wrap your legs around her torso and blush. it always made you flustered whenever she’d show off how strong she truly was.

her dark brown eyes stared into your own. the contact from her fingertips on your skin was driving you crazy, but you tried not to show it too much.

“you know how i said i wanted to make a movie with you?” she asked, causing your eyes to widen. of course you know how she said that. it was one of the very first things she said to you. you had assumed she was only joking though, as it never actually happened.

“you’re going to record us?” you asked so innocently that it made her chuckle.

“should i have made it more obvious? i want to keep a video of this for when i miss you. your filming makes it so hard for me to fuck you. so now when you go back, i can just watch this and feel content for the time being.”

those words flowed so easily off of her tongue that it had caught you by surprise. she was incredibly nonchalant about this whole thing which made you think she had been planning this for a while. you were not camera shy in the slightest, but you had never exactly recorded yourself in any position like this before. not that you were opposed, just a little timid.

“just say action then.” you say to her, a smile spreading across your face.

“action.” she replies in a challenging tone.

soon your lips were colliding into hers. her fingers dug into your brown skin and you couldn’t help but exhale due to how good it felt. she had never handled you like this before. shuri was being gentle yet also harsh at the same time. you could tell how much she missed you by how hard she held onto you and how gentle she kissed you. you only hoped that your kisses and hands reaching out for her face relayed the same message.

kissing was enough for shuri until it wasn’t. she eagerly began tugging at the straps on the sheer cloth you wore on top of your lingerie. her mouth went to her favorite spot, your neck. after that first night she craved sucking on your soft spots and kissing in other spots until they were purple. she enjoyed the sounds you were making as her lips touched your skin.

your fingers gripped her hair as she sucked so eagerly on your neck. the vanilla and coconut smell radiating off of her was so pleasant and mouthwatering. she smelled so perfect even with smells as simple as those.

your hips had begun grinding into her, searching for some sort of release. you hadn’t even noticed you were doing the action until she stopped kissing on your neck. the thing about shuri is that she never full stops unless she intends on torturing you. she always eases out of things. she swears its because she never wants the moment to end. you swear it's because she just loves to leave you wanting more by easing off little by little. sometimes it’s more torture than fully stopping it. so before stopping her kisses, she eased off by peppering them.

“you are so eager tonight. i did not know you missed me this much.” she said while slowly taking you out of the lingerie you had taken so long to put on. you didn’t have it in you to detest her taking it all off of you. not that you would’ve detested anyway, but maybe been a tease just a little while longer.

“i missed you more than words can describe, shuri.” you breathe out as she begins palming your now exposed breasts. this pleasure usually wasn’t enough to overwhelm you but you felt so sensitive. had you two not been in the early stages of sex then you probably would’ve just asked to cuddle as you perhaps wept. although both things have you being vulnerable, the sex just seemed so much better. this was because she wouldn’t know exactly what you had been so stressed over.

“i’m sure i missed you even more, my love. i day dreamt of touching you like this again.” she begins to kiss your chest, “i grew so bored and lonely without you here. we haven’t been together for very long in the grand scheme of things but i am sure i love you.” her kisses begin traveling lower. “i am sure i love you more than anything and it makes me sad to see you so stressed and tired.”

you loved when shuri talked to you like this. she made you feel like the only person in the world, and she has been since you first met. this was not the first time she told you she loved you. in fact she had told you many times before this. the first time being out of nowhere in her lab. she had said it so casually.

“i think i love you.”

“you think?” you had asked.

“hm... no, i definitely know i love you.”

you couldn’t stop smiling for a week straight after that interaction. it was so simple but it was the perfect way for her to say she loves you. you didn’t want all that extravagant stuff, after all she was most extravagant for you on dates and intimate nights already. it felt so much more genuine that it came out of nowhere.

“shuri please…” you moaned out after she had been kissing on your now erect nipple. her lips plopped off of it and she looked back up to you with puppy dog eyes. you could feel yourself melting.

“please what?”

“please… please just make love to me. i want you so bad.”

you didn’t have to tell her twice. this was all about making you feel better and more relaxed. she was willing to do anything for you under any circumstance. while you were worrying about what would happen if you two were to get married, she worried that you wouldn’t want to marry her at all. shuri didn’t know how she would bear it if she lost you. it would be especially worse considering she would be forced to see your face everywhere on social media and posters for your movies.

“of course my darling.”

she flipped you over onto your back with ease. it wasn’t too harsh though, as she was scared she may hurt you. you laid there on the bed feeling yourself up to release some tension as she walked to the side of the bed.

“come here.” she commanded, causing you to turn your body to be positioned in front of her. you’re assuming this was the position she wanted you in as she climbed onto the bed. it would look the best on video. her getting a clear shot of how she stroked you so elegantly with the strap on she had been hiding underneath her sweatpants. it didn’t hit you until now why it was so nice to grind against her.

she lifted your legs up and got the perfect view of just how perfect and vulnerable you truly were. your entrance was begging for her to make her way in but she couldn't grant it that pleasure yet. shuri wanted to look at you a little while longer. she wanted to take in how beautiful you looked in your purest form. she admired your stretch marks and the way your stomach formed a crease or two while having your legs bent back. if she had the chance to, she would keep you constantly by her side forever, just so she could look at you for hours. she admired your birthmark and your little moles that adorned the most private places on your skin. she loved how your skin sparkled in the night stars due to the cocoa butter lotion you religiously lathered yourself in.

you were like a forbidden fruit that she craved more of with each passing day. she was sure you were created by bast herself despite you not being of wakandan origin. that didn’t matter to shuri though. she was sure bast put you here just so that she could know what true love and adoration felt like. even while you were going through a little rocky situation with your relationship, her feelings never faltered. you were both sure you could get through anything and that moments like these were to help with that.

she slowly pushed herself into you which caused you to moan. they were slow and steady strokes. shuri did not want to overload you with anything too fast. she wanted to show you with every movement how lucky she was to have you and love on you.

“faster... just a little bit faster, please.” you managed to get out between your soft moaning. of course shuri obliged and began thrusting faster while digging her fingernails deep into your thighs.

the extra pinch from her fingernails was beginning to push you over the edge. she cooed to you calling you her beautiful angel or sweet girl as you whimpered and cried out for her to go faster or slower. at one point you had switched positions into one where you were in her lap being pushed up and down her strap. you didn’t need to be guided for long though as you began making your own movements as she continued grabbing onto your hips. your head was nestled deep within her neck as you struggled to keep your breathing evened.

then finally her stroked began getting deeper and deeper. this was what really sent you over the edge. she was hitting every thrust like she was following the beat of a song. you could feel yourself be lifted up from her lap a little every time she did it. something about this intimate act could not compared to the others you two have shared. you asked her to make love to you and thats exactly what she was doing. before you two had just been fucking, simply having sex. this was so much more emotional and powerful and truly you felt like it couldn’t get any better than this.

“i’m c-coming!” you managed to get out of your lips as shuri thrusted faster and faster. your moaning and breathing became utterly uncontrollable as you let yourself melt in her touch. she could feel herself coming up on her release too from the strap’s material rubbing against her and your beautiful moans. at some point you forgot the camera was even rolling, too in tune with every thrust and grunt shuri had been making as she did it.

you soon came undone beneath her with a final moan and gasp for air. you kept your head nestled in her neck as your back arched and she continued to thrust, although slowing down. she had finished shortly after you with her slower strokes. those had always finished her off like clockwork which you found amusing. however, you much too tired to even giggle at the action. you could still feel the strap inside of you as you remained in her lap.

“my love, i have to get this out of you.” she whispered to you.

“must you? It feels so nice. i could fall asleep just like this.” you whispered back, your voice laced with exhaustion.

she laughed, “i’m sure you could, considering you already are. however, i can not have the ladies come in and see us like this. it would be improper of me.”

you sighed, “i suppose so.”

she helped you get off by slowly taking it out of you and setting you on the side of the bed that you always slept on. you could hear her shuffling around in the background as your eyes refused to stay open. her bed had been so soft and was covered in only the finest sheets made of satin and most likely vibranium.

“here.” she whispered out to you. suddenly you felt a warm towel wiping the inside of your legs and flower. you always loved that she took care of you after. shuri placed a kiss on your forehead before saying, “i love you y/n. rest well for me.”

she didn’t have to tell you twice. as soon as the covers were pulled over you the warmth flowed through your body and put you right to sleep. shuri climbed into bed shortly after you going to sleep, placing another kiss on your forehead before falling into a slumber of her own.

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙✧⋆｡°✩☼⋆｡°✩☽

#stvrdrops #fanfic #princess shuri #shuri #shuri/reader #shuri x you #mcu shuri #shuri fanfiction #shuri x reader #shuri x y/n #wlw #actress!reader & shuri

[animeyanderelover]

I was so excited that I stayed up for this.

May I request hcs of ryuken (I have a slight obession of this man.) with a judge darling who over works themself to the point of passing out. Like they go to work earlier and come home later than him. And they leave the hospital going against medical orders and say to the nurse " Tell doctor Ishida that I am leaving since I have a hearing in 2 hours, if he wants to see me he can see me at home. " Thank you

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, paranoia, controlling behavior

Judge darling who overworks themselves

◻️It truly is the definition of an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. Truly, if you wouldn't push yourself so much Ryuken could admire this all a bit more. After all he appreciates your hard work and your respectable job. After all both of you have jobs where you essentially hold control over someone else's life and Ryuken wants to admire that. But he just can't do that with the way you constantly go against the medical orders he places upon you. Your partner has a tendency to be a bit more controlling, especially since he is a doctor and the director of the hospital in this town. So of course he would react very sensitive when he finds out that you overwork yourself to the point where you skip sleep and faint due to exhaustion and a lack of proper nutritions. You can protest and claim to know the limits of your body all you want but you aren't the medic in this relationship. He is and so he knows best.

◻️This topic is sure to spark a lot of discussions and arguments between the two of you. You are extremely stubborn and refuse to listen to Ryuken whilst he just ends up belittling you for your attitude. You're acting like a little child in his eyes right now, one that doesn't know when to stop. He thought that you would know better than that but apparently he was wrong. Those arguments never end in a shouting match though because both of you think that you're above screaming at each other from the top of your lungs. Instead there are sharp glares thrown at each other, words dripping with sarcasm fired at each other and constant belittlements directed at each other. Ryuken would rather not spend so much time arguing and destroying the domestic bliss but you give him no choice. He won't back down and watch you ruin your health.

◻️He tries to approach this all logically for a while in hopes of reasoning with you. So he explains to you that if you were one day to seriously suffer from the constant days and nights of overworking yourself, you wouldn't be able to help all your clients and bring justice upon the court. Can't you see that your reckless behavior is also harming other people? If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for your clients who need you in your best condition. Or do it for him, your husband who is very worried about your health. Even as he tells you this argument, he can't hide the sharp edge in his voice completely. He considers himself a patient man but even he is slowly losing his patience here because both of you have been quarreling like this for way too long now. And you still refuse to listen to the his advice. The advice of your husband and an actual doctor.

◻️Ryuken finally reaches a limit when he finds out that you constantly leave the hospital and go against medical orders despite having fainted prior to being brought there. He will absolutely not tolerate such neglectful behavior for one's own health. Fine. If you refuse to properly take care of yourself, he will have to take some measurements then. He starts meddling with your job as he talks to people you work with to bring them on his side and convince you to take a few steps back and relax from your constant work. He starts taking this matter more to the public and even if he dislikes sharing what is privately happening between you two normally, this is for your own good. He plans to make people aware of what you're doing and uses his influence as an actual doctor to strengthen their belief to trust his words that you need to slow down or else you might suffer serious consequences later on in your life.

◻️You hear words from your concerned colleagues soon after and storm angrily to Ryuken who calmly stands there and listens to your furious rant. He rebukes you for your accusations though as he explains to you that he only informed people about this because apparents his own words as your lover and doctor weren't enough. You really are too reckless for your own good but he won't allow anything to happen to you just because you are too stubborn to just sit down and rest for a while. You are worse than he is and that is already an achievement in itself. He additionally scolds you for leaving the hospital despite the medical orders for you to just spend a day or two there and rest. Are you even aware of the risks? Next time you will head the advice he gives you as your doctor.

◻️Ryuken is definitely persistent and you feel his influence in the people around you who try to encourage you to work less and take more breaks. This only adds gasoline to the flames and obviously you try to work even more as a protest. Only that you soon find out that Ryuken has stepped his own game up. He stays longer awake himself to catch you before you can leave for work again and when you scold him for getting too little sleep he quickly points out the sheer hypocrisy in your words as you have been doing the very same thing even longer than he has and even locks the door to the bedroom to prevent you from leaving. He uses the same strategy whenever you end up once again in the hospital as he makes sure to lock the door that would allow you to leave the room and tries to take as much time to stay with you in the same room to ensure that you take proper rest. As soon as you start an argument with him, you just receive this cold glare from him. You got yourself in this situation. If you would have just listened to him, none of this would have to happen. But he'll keep on playing this game you try to play until you learn your lesson.

#yandere bleach #yandere ryuken #yandere ishida ryuken

[arcane-abomination]

This is a topic that can get very confusing for those starting out. There are lots of interchanging terminology, beliefs, and constructs that not everyone sees fit to agree on. This can often create misunderstandings and propagate the misuse of certian energies making navigation for newcomers more than just problematic. In this blog, I will attempt to systematize some of the complexities enough to deliver a more organized path for beginners to follow and build upon.

Keep in mind, however, that while there are some definite rules to thoughtforms there is also a well of UPG around this topic. The knowledge surrounding thoughtforms changes quite considerably with the beliefs of the individuals that practice it. So take from this blog what you will.

The Basics

So I bet some of you are asking, what exactly is a thoughtform? Well, that’s a being created from our beliefs and thoughts. They are made up of energy and can be utilized in magickal workings. Now there is some confusion among some members of the community here. Sometimes the term is not seen as the umbrella term it really is and instead becomes a varying type all on its own. However, to fully understand where this name fits we need only break it down in its simple meaning. "A being formed by the power of thought." This clearly describes a variety of different beings, not just a singular one, hence why it's more traditionally used as an umbrella term.

⚜️ Creation ⚜️

A thoughtform’s creation will ultimately depend on the witch but essentially most agree it starts with finding a purpose. From there you can build it up starting with a name. A name binds the thing into existence so this is most often agreed upon to be a very important step. From this most people use that name to create a sigil. Others make a symbol on their own and bind it to the name afterward. Either way, it’s often seen as an essential step in the process. A sigil gives the thoughtform a physical foundation to draw energy from and affect the real world. Some witches in turn will then place that sigil on a vessel for their thoughtform to connect to, while others draw it in the air with energy.

Finally comes the fun part, designing. You can skip this process altogether but many enjoy deciding how this being is going to look. This is also a great opportunity to build more symbolism around it. Tie its appearance to its purpose and allow this to strengthen it. Once that’s done it’s time to begin the actual ritual. Now, many like to write out everything on a petition and/or draw a picture of the being. In my experience, this isn’t really needed but it helps quite a bit if you’re doing a more complex being (this will be discussed later in another section). It’s also good to decide on the finer details. Not just what you want your thoughtform to do, but what type it is, and what it’s not allowed to do as well.

Once the written portion has been completed (and drawing if you choose to use that), set it up in a place of power. Most people use their altar but you can also create a sacred space specially for this part. The ritual itself will essentially involve you going into meditative gnosis and forming the energy with your mind. (Visualization helps with this. Some people choose to picture a light forming into the being or a large cosmic egg. But that too is based on a user's preference.) This part takes focus so make sure there aren’t any distractions nearby. Once you’re finished greet your thoughtform and continue with any other magick you wish.

As for how long this is going to take, nobody can truly say. We each are different and how our energy works will ultimately decide how long things will take. However, in my own experience, I would say that most thoughtform creations vary based on complexity. The simpler the being the shorter amount of time it will need. For longer amounts of time, you may need to visit your uncreated thoughtform once a day. giving it energy each time to ensure its continued gestation.

⚜️ Feeding ⚜️

Think of your thoughtform as a computer. It’s programmed to function a certain way by the user and to keep it going you need to give it a battery or plug it into a port. In short, it needs something to draw energy from to work properly. How you feed your thoughtform will depend on its type, but for most people, they set their thoughtform's ability to feed during its creation process. Either going to it regularly to meditatively give it energy, to offerings, or even to preprogrammed sustainability, a thoughtform needs something to ensure its success.

⚜️ Setting A Time Limit ⚜️

Certain thoughtforms will need a time limit of some sort. This is usually predetermined by the creator and set during the creation process or a kill switch is kept in place for whenever the practitioner deems it necessary. (Like burning or tearing up the paper vessel or petition with the thoughtforms sigil). Now depending on who you ask, What thoughtforms should get a time limit will inevitably change. Some believe that all thoughtforms need a limit and thus rarely venture past the simple variety. While others believe that there are many more varieties that don’t need such a limit. I will cover this in further detail in later sections.

⚜️ Involuntary Creation ⚜️

This can happen sometimes, especially if there are lots of emotions around a certain belief. Things can manifest against our will and they can be both negative or positive depending on what energy was used to create them.

Servitors

Also called simple thoughtforms and simple servitors, they are the most common form of thoughtform and by far the easiest to create. They have no sentience to speak of and are driven only to complete their task. The purpose for their creation. It is everything to a servitor which is why many believe it’s the type of thoughtform that MUST have an end after that task is finished. To allow a servitor to exist without a purpose would be like a living hell to such a creature. It would be cruel and compared to torture some believe.

Now let’s say you did decide to let it remain. What exactly would happen? Well, there’s a variety of things really. One, if left unfed the servitor could simply vanish one day, but it would be a slow death. However, if you’re unlucky enough, it may just evolve sentience. When this sort of thing happens in such a situation the servitor is often already driven to madness and will become something akin to a parasite. Recklessly feeding off their creator to sustain themselves. This can cause exhaustion, dizziness, clumsiness, and in some more severe cases illness to the practitioner. And those who suffer from other forms of mental illness like depression and anxiety have often reported their symptoms getting worse. The best course of action for these sorts of beings is to extinguish them completely. They have no hope of being reasoned with.

Now let’s say you do feed your servitor, but you never give it a purpose. Then what happens? Well, they can still go mad as the life without a purpose is demeaning and arduous for such a creature. This is why some people like to give them new purposes. The problem is, a simple servitor isn’t made to properly sustain things like this. It would be like uploading a new program onto an older computer that isn’t equipped to properly run it. So while it may work for a little while, it will never be up to par like it was before, and eventually, you’ll have to accept that. You’ll be forced to get a newer model anyway. Problem is, that even these beings can still grow in sentience. And while they may not be as crazed as the ones mentioned before, because they’re not in a state of starvation, they may still express the dislike of such an existence. Some people report that once sentient, some servitors have simply run away or completely withdrew in their own depressive state. Ultimately wasting away because they wouldn’t eat. This is why it’s generally agreed upon that a simple servitor works its best when a time limit is in place.

Sentient Servitors

Also called complex servitors or complex thoughtforms, consider these beings a step up from your average servitors. Most often they are created with sentience or at the very least created with the intent to obtain sentience by growing into it as they do their job and experience the world around them. This type seems to have become more popular in recent years and has garnered its own subcategories in turn. These generally tend to be something concerning their purpose and will vary by practitioner. Some of the most popular is a familiar, home guardians, or personal protectors.

For the most part these beings are created without the intent to destroy them. This is because what they are needed for what generally takes regular upkeep as well as a mind that can analyze and learn just like we do so it can grow alongside you and learn different ways to cope with its overall objective. But that isn’t to say people don’t exist that give them time limits. However, that can bring up more controversy depending on who you talk to because now you’re destroying something that may not actually want to be destroyed. Something that wants to continue on and experience existence. When a thoughtform reaches this stage and they realize you may want to destroy them, they often start looking for a way out. A way to feed without the help of the witch. That way they can simply go off on their own. In lots of cases, a witch may gift their thoughtform with this ability so that when their task is done they can go ahead and make the way out.

Poltergeists

Now some of you may be surprised to see this category on this list but it really is a thoughtform. Looking into how some paranormal experts define these entities reveals that they are entities created from the negative energy accumulated in a certain place or around a certain individual, and that’s exactly what a thoughtform is. A poltergeist is always an involuntary creation, however, and is almost always negative as well. It’s known for throwing objects and making strange noises. Hence why their name means “noisy ghost” in German.

Egregores

These thoughtforms are created by a group of individuals instead of just a single person. They can be voluntary or involuntary, sentient or otherwise, it all depends on the conditions for their creation. For instance, some covens create an egregore for their personal group typically of the non-sentient variety, while other individual people may believe in something so much that the beings form involuntarily from that belief. Many use this way of thinking to explain how deity came to be. Declaring that all gods and goddesses as we know them are simply egregores believed into existence. Not everyone agrees with this sentiment, however, nor does everyone utilize the egregore label exactly the same.

While some say egregores can be both sentient and non-sentient, others have strong beliefs that the egregore can only be non-sentient and that once it grows to sentience it will become something else entirely. The former seems to be the most popular way of looking at it on our modern age though, so you're bound to find that this way of utilizing the egregore to be more prevalent in the ways of information.

Godforms

Also known as God Heads, this is probably the most confusing of all the types of thoughtforms simply because there are so many varying beliefs around it. More traditionally, godforms are statues or pictures portraying the image of a particular god. Through ritual, the god embodies these pieces and they become an extent of that deity. Some believers even associate people as being a part of that godform, and during those sacred ceremonies, the chosen individual becomes a direct speaker for the god they are channeling. However, in more modern times, the term has taken a considerable divergence into thoughtform territory.

It is believed by some that the godform is a type of deity, either created to be a god from the beginning or grown into one by an egregore. In more recent years, however, a godform is often depicted as being a more personalized entity. An individual's own personal god if you will. In this instance, they are created using a specific part of the practitioner's energy. Usually some part of a magical circuit like the elements, or the 8 circuits of consiousness. This entity in turn becomes heavily connected to the individual and will affect whatever cuircut or energy center they were made from. Let's say you made a god that draws from your fire energy. Therefore, your fire energy will grow and everything it affects will also grow. This entices the person to continue giving the god energy, through meditations, offerings, even an altar. It's given praises and prayers as well, just like any other deity.

Tulpa

The tulpa is often confused in our modern times as being nothing more than a servitor, but that understanding couldn't be more false. Traditionally Tulpa's are a concept from Buddhist nirmāṇakāya. It was a translated in Tibetan as sprul-pa and was the practice of creating an autonomous entity made from the individual's mind. It was manifested by a Buddha to teach and guide those who hadn't yet attained nirvana. Some have likened it to seem much like a ghost or apparition, walking between the physical and metaphysical realms. They were said to obey their master for the most part but were entirely sentient with their own thoughts and emotions.

Today, tulpamancers, often equate a tulpa to something kind of like an imaginary friend, but one that can actually manifest things. Tulpas are said to have the ability to use their creator's body, or even dwell inside of it completely. They can even operate it on their own should their creator allow it. Many, state that the tulpa often helps them out during difficult situations. They are created with the qualities that the user doesn't have so that they can take over in times when those qualities are needed. As for life span, that will definitely depend on the individual. Like regular thoughtforms, some say that the user ultimately decides if they want their tulpa to remain or vanish after they themselves have learned to obtain whatever qualities they had placed in their tulpa. Others say that the tulpa stays with you for life. Whatever the case, this thoughtform is definitely the most unique of the bunch.

Conclusion

Thoughtforms are an interestingly diverse form of magick. And while they are very prevalent within the chaos magick community, many magickal practitioners from all pathways come to utilize them within their crafts. As stated above, there are many unique beliefs surrounding them, and finding out what way is best for you can seem somewhat daunting. The best thing to do is take it slow, and practice, practice, practice. Thoughtforms are one of those things you learn best by doing. Just remember that what works for someone else may not work entirely for you. Go at your own pace, and find your own rhythm. Best of luck!

Further Reading

• Types of Ghosts (Poltergeists)

• Servitors (Chaos Magick)

• Thoughtforms

• Psychonaut Field Manual: Egregores

• Psychonaut Field Manual: Godforms

• Tulpa’s

#paganism #witchcraft #pagans of tumblr #chaos magician #chaos magick #eldritch magic #witches of tumblr #chaos witch #eldritch witch #chaos witchcraft #thoughtforms #thoughtform #servitor #egregore #godform

[groenendaelfic]

Do you think Simon would actually be willing to become the Prince Consort tho?! Like yes he LOVES Wille but I don't think he'd ever wanna officially set a foot in that system let alone give up his career for being a working royal

The quick answer is yes, I think he’d thrive. Go read my fic Becoming Prince Simon for details.

The long answer is that I think that just like we tend to make Wilhelm into this social justice prince who’d love being a house husband and hates being a royal, when in fact he is quite comfortable with ignoring staff while he walks past them in a ratty old t-shirt and sweatpants because there’s nothing more normal than living in a palace and having staff cater to him for him, and he actively enjoys ordering Jan-Olof to send him food to the middle of nowhere Hillerska, to name but two examples of how Wilhelm very much doesn’t mind being royal or privileged, and just hates being told what to do or say and having to act like someone he isn’t, Simon, too, isn’t this grand idealist.

Sure he’d like being treated fairly, who doesn't, especially when you always draw the short straw even while following the rules while your classmates get away with breaking them without problem, but the truth is he’s rather pragmatic.

He gets back in contact with his drug addict, alcoholic and to a currently unknown degree abusive father so that he can acquire alcohol for his underage classmates to drink so that Sara can attend a party, and then steals drugs to among other things pay for math tutoring because he wants good grades.

I’m not saying Simon would jump at the chance to join the royal family, but he’d come to see the advantages, and I’m not just talking about him being with Wilhelm, but also all the good he can do. He doesn't need to be a monarchist for that.

So yes, I don’t only think Simon would be willing to become Prince Consort, but that he’d thrive once he got accustomed to the idea.

After all modern day Sweden isn’t Czarist Russia or pre-revolutionary France, you can’t just burn that shit down (and get the Soviet Union or Emperor Napoleon), because that wouldn't work and attempting so would do more harm than good. 

You need reform and systematic change, and to change a system you need to interact with it, for example from the inside, and as spouse to the Crown Prince and later King, Simon would be in the ideal position to affect that.

He doesn’t need any actual power to highlight problems and topics important to him or for people to pay attention and listen. It doesn’t always have to be Diana shaking hands with a man with aids in the 80s, it can be something as trivial as the irl second in line opening a fairytale trail in her duchy as a toddler.

What the royal family does (and doesn’t! do) gets publicity and is reported. Simon knows that. He grew up seeing it all the time.

And the people most likely to take note of what the royal family does? Those I dare say are also some of the ones who could do with a bit more exposure to the causes Simon would highlight.

Also not to be mean but give up what career? We know Simon enjoys making music and he wants to get out of small town Bjärstad, but as far as we know he has no great, specific career ambitions he’d have to give up.

I’m gonna end this with a potentially triggering and extreme example, so take care.

When the royal court announced that the irl Swedish crown princess had an eating disorder I was in junior high. I'll always feel sorry for what she had to go through so publicly and it definitely is another point on the list of why monarchies and celebrity culture are the worst, but I also cannot overstate how much good that publicity did when it came to bringing awareness to the topic of eating disorders.

Suddenly that was something that was seriously discussed as an illness by people in power and who otherwise never would have, and not just in a ‘haha those silly teenage girls wanting to look like Kate Moss’ kind of way, because it was the crown princess and not some random pop starlet, and if that can happen to someone like her, then who is to say it can’t also affect our own children etc?

We were taught about it in school, in detail, when my older cousins never were, how to recognize them, how to help, where to go for help. More, there suddenly were places to help, places that were actively advertised which hadn’t been before.

There were clinical programs being opened and awareness campaigns launched, and not just in Sweden. (I’m not saying she was the only reason, it was the late nineties, it was really, really necessary, but she was a big deciding factor when it came to the amount and speed at which things changed)

It sucks that royals and celebrities highlighting important issues can make such a difference, and I’m the first to go yell abolish all systems of inequality irl, but Simon could do a lot of good as a working royal, and he’d actually care about changing things, instead of just finding it a boring necessity like irl royals and the YR royal family including Wilhelm do, which is why I think that in a few years, given time, he would very much be willing to become part of the system if only to bring what change he can, especially when no one else can take his place and do it instead of him.

#king wilhelm ftw #prince simon ftw #ask me anything #young royals #young royals meta #random ramblings

[longing-for-rain]

On sexual abuse, trauma, and recovery

I’ve wanted to post something like this for a long time, because of things people have said directly to me and other things I’ve seen. It strikes me how people who haven’t experienced this really don’t understand how it feels, both in the moment and in the aftermath.

The reason I finally decided to make this post is actually on a more positive note—I’m writing this just after I’ve had my first real date in years. My first real date I’ve had the courage to go on after escaping a sexually abusive situation I endured for nearly a year during the COVID pandemic. I’m writing this to say that even though what I’m talking about it going to sound bleak and disturbing, it doesn’t end there. We can still move on. I used to think I would rather die than be looked at sexually again. I didn’t even want to go out in public. But I’m sharing because no matter how bleak what I’m about to say sounds, I’m still here. We don’t have to stay trapped; we don’t have to stay silent.

I’ll put the rest below, and please, read at your own risk because I will be discussing heavy topics such as sexual abuse and the aftermath of that.

I’ve learned a lot over the past few years, but probably the most important thing I’ve learned is that the idea that recovery is quick and easy is a myth. The idea that it’s easy to get justice when you’re abused is a myth. Some people will probably get angry at me for saying this, but in all honesty, I wish I’d been warned. That’s the part I truly wasn’t prepared for—how isolated I would feel in the aftermath, and how the people and systems that promised to always support victims failed me. I’m tired of being told that it’s easy to simply report and move on. It’s never that simple.

The first time it happened, I was naïve and drunk and blamed myself. I just blocked it out. By the time it fully hit home that I’d been assaulted, it was too late. I had no evidence of the event and knew nothing would come of it if I reported it. So I didn’t. It was painful enough that it happened. I couldn’t handle also being accused of being a lying whore trying to ruin an “innocent” man’s life for no reason. That’s how women like me are treated when we try to say anything.

That was right before COVID. During COVID, I was mostly online and that’s how I got into fandom again. I found comfort there, especially after what I’d been through, but unfortunately I repeated the same mistake I’d made the first time—I was naïve, I was somewhere unfamiliar, and way too vulnerable. Someone took advantage of that.

I don’t really want to go into details, but I was sexually groomed and abused over the course of about a year. I didn’t realize it at first, because that’s the cruel thing about grooming. When it starts slowly, you don’t realize what’s happening to you until it’s too late. I spent hours a day at times on the phone with this person. What I thought was “advice” was really just her pushing me into places (sexually) that she knew I wasn’t comfortable with. To this day I still don’t know if it was because she was interested in my sexually or if she just liked the idea of “corrupting” a much younger woman into destroying herself just like she had.

But at the time, I was blind to it. I thought it was just a toxic friendship. I felt hurt and traumatized but didn’t understand how to express why I was feeling the way I was. I didn’t yet recognize it as abuse, and even the slightest hint of that was crushed by my abuser and her friends. She knew the community better than me and how to manipulate it—how to make me look crazy for trying to come to terms with what happened. So ultimately, I simply blocked her, deleted every account I’d been associated with her on, and thought it would end there.

At the time it seemed like the best option. But later, I realized what I’d done. Those conversations were evidence, and I’d gotten rid of them all. So now I’m suffering the same fate I did the first time. I have no evidence. I have to deal with what happened, and I can’t prove it.

I did try to speak up, eventually, as many abused women do. I got a taste of why rape has a 2% conviction rate, why this is a crime that goes so often unpunished. People who barely knew the situation got involved, because they were friends of friends of the abuser. I was called things like “shit stirrer” and accused of “disrupting the community” for trying to say something. I lost friends I thought I could trust, either because they sided with my abuser or because they were too cowardly to say anything. And nobody has ever apologized for anything—not one. I’ll be honest. I seriously considered suicide multiple times and attempted once. The aftermath was even worse for me than the abuse in some ways. I was still living under the lie that as a victim, I’d have support and understanding from my community when in reality it was the opposite. Sometimes I feel like if it ever happened to me again, I would actually end my life. I don’t know if I could go through this whole process again.

So yes, that’s why it’s isolating. That’s why it’s so painful; why “just report it” is bullshit. If you haven’t been through something like this, don’t even pretend to understand. You will lose friends. You will be isolated and ostracized from communities you thought could support you. You will watch people repost essays about supporting victims on their social media turn around and blame you for your own abuse. You will watch people use sexual harassment and abuse in ship wars about fictional characters and then participate in your real life abuse. People will make fun of your sexual abuse. People will tell you your sexual abuse is hot. People will tell you that they understand, then side with your abuser anyway, after you’ve already opened up to them.

That’s the reality. Why is it this way? I don’t know. I think a lot of it is deeply ingrained misogyny, which is why I think it’s so so important to recognize and call out the misogyny intertwined in our culture and communities. It’s what creates the environment that allows this to happen and isolated victims from each other.

This is rambling, I know, but I’m getting frustrated by some of these anons spouting off about something they clearly know nothing about. Stop treating it like some easy thing that just goes away and that people actually care about sexual trauma and victims. They don’t.

#tw sa vent #tw sa #personal #tw suicide mention #tw misogyny #feminism

[sisterofficerlucychen]

i was rewatching 4x21 and have so many thoughts bc of what's going on with chenford in the episode even though it's central to one specific topic and most of it feels internal??

let's start at the beginning with the double take she does when tim confirms that he and ashley are planning a vacation to hawaii. she’s totally caught off guard and while everyone else smiles as they talk about it, she’s still processing as she reaches a conclusion to what it may mean. her attention is almost undivided to tim during this brief interaction between the four of them. then when they break and lucy mentions how chris wanted her to meet his parents, she brushes right past it which is noteworthy because lucy likes to talk things out. granted, it could have been because she was set on her answer but considering lucy’s tension with her own family and the fact that they hadn’t been dating that long, you’d think she would have spent a minute or two on the topic except she immediately switches to wanting to find out more about the trip by asking who came up with the idea of hawaii.

then they're in the shop where lucy asks if he’s proposing - she’s hesitant to ask like she literally gulps before being able to ask it. it’s a question with high risk, she knows she may not like the answer to it. which given tim’s reaction is so amusing because she was definitely psyching herself up about it and he’s completely baffled by the idea. the fact that they’re both so confused too like he’s confused as to how she could even think that and she’s confused as to how that isn’t obvious. she has him panicking for a sec with him not “being aware of the signals” he’s sending. it’s funny that it was lucy at the receiving end of those signals though given how ashley was like “nah, i’m good.”

the fact that we later see lucy talking to patrice about her rocky relationship with her mom is something i think shows how she could have talked to tim about it considering she has discussed the subject with him before but chose not to. then tim comes in talking about hotels in hawaii and she’s so smug about how patrice congratulates him and how clueless he is. then there’s a shift here again where she goes from trying to understand how he can’t see how the trip looks like a proposal to her relentlessly teasing him because the next time we see them, it’s with angela as she’s filling them in on monica and jonah robbing the bridal store and ms. lucy chen does not miss when she says “oh, well, i guess you won’t be the only one getting married.” she’s so damn amused with herself. which, sidenote: angela’s reaction here always gets me, the beat she takes to just stare at lucy. i love that she’s always known. 

ofc this turns into them bickering like the old married couple they are as they debate romantic destinations. the fact that lucy pulls up different lists to make a point and tim’s not having it is so classically them. i love that because he’s continuously refuted throughout the day that he’s 100% not planning on proposing, it’s easier for her to push back on him. at least until she explains why it’d be a “no brainer” and there’s the tiniest of shifts where it’s all for shits and giggles until it’s not again. she doesn’t seem nearly as nervous when she asks him if he can see himself married to ashley but there’s still some reluctance with the question. the way tim takes a beat then turns to look at lucy and then answers - this is my roman empire.

so much happens after lucy asks this question and yet not much is said. we see tim work through a few different thoughts before answering. he goes from whatever train of thought he’s in to another before turning to look at lucy and then reaching some realization and then he answers. there is no way that the “her” he was picturing himself married to wasn’t lucy like the way he had to turn to look at her and it still took him a sec to answer. also, the way he answered??? “yeah … i can”. i am of the impression that there were two different answers here: the “yeah” was in regards to who he was seeing himself married to and the “i can” was tim trying to convince himself that he could see himself married to ashley. AND THE WAY LUCY SAYS NOTHING. this always gets me because it always takes me back to how excited she was about nolan proposing to bailey and immediately giving him ideas to her just going silent with tim. when has she ever been silent when it comes to tim?? also the fact that he’s just as quiet and in thought, they’re both processing it for a moment until they get the call from dispatch.

and thus we reach the end of the night and the prank. tim did lucy so dirty with that one lmao. i'll admit ashley is a character i have mixed feelings on but i did appreciate how when tim said lucy had been "particularly annoying" she really said nah, sounds fake. then what lucy had said comes back to haunt him as he spots the fresh mani. there's two things that stand out to me with tim's "need to clear the air about something" - 1. how lucy's tied to it and 2. the urgency of ensuring he and ashley are on the same page about him not proposing. tim's reaction to her answer is so interesting now watching it with the full knowledge of season 5 like he was surprised for half a second and then was fine. i remember when this episode first aired, what i thought of was the episode where lucy had asked tim if he'd ever have kids and the meaning behind that but now i think of tim and lucy talking about their own kids. ashley may have been the one to break up with tim but tim never saw a future with her to be genuinely disappointed by that answer.

okay but back to the fake proposal lol. i really wish we would have gotten how tim framed the prank to ashley because what???? i will never understand how ashley just casually went along with her boyfriend fake proposing to get back at his aide??? then again she stayed with him after the double date so guess that shouldn't be as surprising. this prank is one i've never quite understood if i'm being honest like i can wrap my head around tim thinking it was a good prank since that's what she'd been messing with him about all day but her reaction? that's what gets me. i do think he was trying to annoy her back which he ultimately did with the 'got you' text as she ran off to find lopez to curse him but then her actual reaction to what she thought was a real proposal. she's completely thrown, she takes a tentative step toward them but doesn't actually move to go outside, and then when chris comes up behind her she's so frazzled because she thought he really proposed.

the fact that lucy actually storms off to find angela is perfect. she's not just annoyed, she's upset. the way he just put her through this mini rollercoaster of emotions, though she lowkey did the same thing to do him throughout the entire day. the fact that this prank was just as unhinged as lucy's fake confession prank is just *chef's kiss*. then there's the underlying angst and how that also parallels to a different episode. lucy asking tim if he could see himself married to ashley feels so closely related to tim asking lucy if she loved chris when he wanted her to move in - it's a moment where there's an actual possibility that they've lost the other except one happens in their denial era and the other in their pining era.

#the rookie #chenford

[communistkenobi]

There’s a popular sentiment in political discourse that right wing extremist beliefs - shit like Qanon, but also often just like, antisemitism in general - are indicative of mental illness, or that these beliefs are pathological in origin. There are a lot of arguments against this, but a common one I see in progressive spaces is that this is an ableist argument to make (which is a reasonable response!). However, I don’t think this is persuasive enough on its own to convince people to stop framing it as a mental illness thing (or even why it’s ableist to begin with). I also don’t think people fully understand why it’s a factually incorrect claim, even if they know it’s a problematic framing of the issue. And so I want to attempt to give an explanation for why that framework is wrong, and why believing it will lead you to poor conclusions about political beliefs generally.

This is going to be a long post, so it’ll be going under a cut. If anything doesn’t make sense or people want shit clarified feel free to send me an ask/reply etc. This is primarily aimed at people who might know that it’s wrong to call Nazis or Qanon people mentally ill (even jokingly) but don’t understand why. This is not meant to be an exhaustive explanation, but I want to make a strong case for why it’s shitty to talk about ring wing views in this way.

I’m gonna first talk about disability and mental illness, and then talk a little bit about right wing beliefs - the goal here is to fully explain why it’s ableist, and then move into why it’s an incorrect argument more broadly. The primary sources for this discussion will be two books: one called Absent Citizens, which is a book about disability politics in Canada, and a book called The Authoritarian Personality, which is about a massive research project conducted in America after WWII with the aim of understanding the content and origin of fascistic beliefs. This isn’t going to be an academic essay or whatever, but I do want to draw on academic sources to frame this discussion. I think this is a complex topic that involves a lot of complicated shit and I want to hopefully clarify some of the dimensions of this issue.

why this argument sucks

To begin, I want to break down the argument that people who believe absurd things - like bleach as a cure for covid, for example - are mentally ill. There are a lot of hidden assumptions built into that claim that I don’t think people realize are there. I also think people react to and argue against those hidden assumptions, but they still often go unstated in discourse about the topic.

You often see this claim made against celebrities - Kanye is the most recent example, but Trump is a really common one too. And whatever actual diagnosed mental health issues they have, I’m going to set those aside for the moment, because I don’t think that popular discourse about them being mentally ill is actually about their specific, diagnosed mental illnesses. Kanye would still be antisemitic even if he did not have BPD, but the fact that he does have BPD provides people with a very handy rationalization to explain his horrific views. And if he didn’t have any diagnosed mental illnesses, I doubt that would stop people from claiming he’s mentally ill anyway (which I’ll talk about later).

So, this argument has a couple different assumptions built into it. First, it takes for granted the idea that there is a social and political orthodoxy which is normal, and to fall outside of that orthodoxy means your beliefs are pathological. Views deemed sensible and reasonable (generally centre right to centre left) are equated with mental well-being, and views that are deemed unreasonable are equated with mental illness. What this does is medicalize all political beliefs. Sufficient deviance from the societal norm is therefore a sign of mental instability.

What this also does is medicalize mental illness, which is to say it individualizes it. To make the claim that absurd or dangerous political views are a sign of mental illness is to make the argument that the origins of these views come from an individual, medical deficiency within a person. It ignores the social, economic, cultural, and historical circumstances for why someone may come to believe right wing conspiracy theories (I will explain this in more detail a bit later, so just bracket this for now).

And if you frame the problem of right wing conspiracy in this way, it informs political solutions for how to get rid of these conspiratorial views in society - if antisemitism is a mental illness, then mandated mental health tests that measure political deviancy, or the invention of new mental health diagnoses for right wing extremism, would be a viable solution, right? To take this claim seriously, it would mean inventing a new class of disability, a new type of pathologized person. And once you’ve created this category and placed people into it, what do you do with them? If their beliefs are a matter of neurological deficiency, does that mean they are incapable of being de-radicalized? Should they be put on special medication? Are they even responsible for their own beliefs if there is something wrong with their brain?

And like, this line of argumentation is bad! It’s a defeatist attitude (some people are just bad and there is nothing to be done about it), it makes political beliefs biological (some people are inherently good and others inherently bad), it ignores broader forces that may lead to someone believing these things, and it prescribes policy solutions that are eugenic in nature. If we just get rid of all the bad mentally ill people, society will be fixed. Which means we are now in a very similar political position to right wing beliefs about trans people, jewish people, people of colour, and, of course, disabled people.

The second issue is that it equates “normal” political views with mental fitness, which is often a (hidden) shorthand for moral fitness. This creates a view of society as something that is naturally good, a moral yardstick to measure everyone else by. People with absurd beliefs that shock the public are just not following the rules that will make them a good person. It leaves no room for a critique of those societal norms. Is the current political orthodoxy good? Is it a good yardstick to measure other people by? Is the current state of the world a morally and socially healthy society? What if you think it isn’t? Does that make you mentally ill too?

disability & mental health

I remember right after the 2016 American election there was a very intense focus in the media on Trump being mentally ill. He was charged with infecting the body politic with his mental instability. What this did was place him outside of history, positioning him as an alien invader on an otherwise healthy society. It did not account for the social and economic forces that led to him becoming a key political figure in American politics. It was an abdication of responsibility from mostly liberal people who did not want to confront the problems in society that existed far before Trump got into power, and indeed, allowed him to get there. If you could prove Trump was mentally ill, then that would mean the problem was just that - illness. So, to go back to an earlier point, when people point to Kanye’s bipolar disorder as a reason for his antisemitism, they are not making a medical diagnosis; they are removing his political beliefs from public discourse and placing them in the realm of mental pathology. It is a refusal to meet his beliefs as they exist, and instead insist that they exist outside of society. It also robs him of agency. Something outside of his control is making him do this; you can’t really blame him. It frames bigotry as something a person does without their knowledge or even consent. This external problem is to blame.

And finally, to synthesize these points, the idea that right wing bigotry is a symptom of of mental illness is making the argument that mental illness, and disability more broadly, are medical in nature. This is also a problem! Disability has for decades been seen by activists and academics alike as something that is not biological, or at least not completely. Since around the 70s or 80s, disability activism began pushing the social model of disability, which was in direct opposition to the biological (or medical) model of disability. The social model argues that disability is the product of an unfair and discriminatory society. Disabled people are not biologically broken; society purposefully excludes them.

I think a really instructive example to use to illustrate this is the built environment. Staircases are not naturally occurring phenomena; human societies build them, and there are certain assumptions that go into building stairs as opposed to ramps, or tiered walkways, or other configurations. The inability to climb a set of stairs does not indicate a biological deficit in a human being, the social model argues; it indicates that society is building a world that excludes disabled people from fully participating in it. Framing it this way, the solution to the problem isn’t to force everyone to use the stairs, it is to alter the environment so that it is accessible to everyone. Disability can either be exacerbated or minimized through social change. In the same way, there are a lot of social norms that exclude certain groups of people. Autistic people for example can find a lot of social norms to be confusing and difficult to navigate. It’s worth considering whether these social norms are useful to everyone, and whether it would be better to alter them the same way we might want to alter a staircase to include more people in public life. It’s not that these people are broken or incorrect, it’s that historical institutions, from social values to urban architecture, prescribe certain modes of travel, certain social relationships, that can be more or less harmful to certain groups of people. The same critiques can be made through a feminist lens, or an anti-racist one. What the social model of disability does is introduce the idea of disability as a social category, one that is not a biological destiny but a historically contingent position in society that can be improved through social change.

And more broadly, mental illness has a similar disadvantage. It’s framed as a medical issue, a problem that arises within individual people. Society isn’t the cause of social dysfunction, or depression, or personality disorders; your brain is just broken, and you need to learn how to fit into society better.

And so going back to the original claim, what you’re doing when you make that argument is A) medicalizing political beliefs, and B) accepting that an individualized medical view of mental illness is inherently correct and useful for understanding political conflict.

So that’s one reason why this framework is harmful. It also leads into the other major reason why this view is harmful - it prevents a structural analysis of right wing beliefs. If Kanye West’s antisemitism is a manifestation of his mental illness, this means that antisemitism is itself a medical condition. It comes from nowhere, or to be more charitable, it’s someone pathologically indulging in bigotry. In this framework, the source of the bigotry isn’t the problem; the person being too extreme about it is.

fascism

I’m going to talk about fascism now in a more theoretical way. I think even if you’re on board with everything I’ve said up to this point, it’s still hard to watch someone say something completely absurd and not think there is something mentally wrong with them. Like, who the fuck actually believes that giving your kids bleach or horse heart de-wormer will cure covid? How can bigots keep making claims about jewish people or trans people that are easily proven false every single time? You have to be mentally ill in some way to ignore reality that hard, right? But I want to caution people against framing this as mental illness, even if it’s difficult to find another explanation.

Fascism is a product of history. What I mean by this is that fascism is a response to large social forces, and when fascist movements are successful, they reinforce a lot of those existing social forces. Fascism often takes the form of political ambitions, such as the desire to take over a democratic government, but it goes deeper than that. In The Authoritarian Personality, Adorno (one of the authors) makes the argument that fascism is a particular response people have to the contradictions of capitalism - those contradictions being that you are supposedly this free agent able to make your own choices, yet are constantly crushed under the weight of the ruling class. Human beings are told they are free and yet are constantly alienated from other people as a result of class conflict. The book explores this claim at multiple scales, down to the level of individual families all the way up to society as a whole. We know, for example, that children in abusive households sometimes become abusive people themselves. Not always, or even often, but they sometimes do. Abuse also causes a lot of other, non-abusive social and emotional problems for children who grow up in these environments, often following them into adulthood. This is a particularly horrific environment that people respond in different ways to, and it produces a wide range of issues that people have to grapple with for the rest of their lives. In the same way, harmful societal forces illicit different responses in people, and sometimes, that response is a turn towards fascism.

Adorno describes fascism as an ideology of irrationality. A fascist is someone who embraces the contradictions of capitalism and makes contradiction a core component of their belief system. Or rather, fascism is a belief system that fully accommodates contradiction because of its irrational character. Fascism is often difficult to describe precisely because of this irrationality - in order to make sense of it you need to place it in a rational context, which runs the risk of over-intellectualizing or rationalizing it. This even came up in the methodology section of the book. The researchers couldn’t go around asking people if they were racist or antisemitic, for example, because a bunch of people would say no, even if they were explicitly racist and antisemitic people. In several of the interviews the researchers did, fascistic people would assert that they were not racist and then, in the literal next sentence, would say something horribly racist. And they found that fascistic people would repeat this pattern for many areas of their lives - deny a behaviour, even a trivial one, and then do that exact behaviour a few minutes later. This contradiction is so deeply embedded that it makes investigating what fascists actually believe difficult.

However, to try to give a broad overview, fascism is a singular fixation with power. The way power is distributed in society is along in-group/out-group lines. If you are part of the in-group (white, Christian, able-bodied, cishet, etc) you are deserving of power; if you’re not, then you must be dominated or destroyed. In order to realize this goal of white supremacist power, any belief or behaviour that will further this goal is advantageous, regardless of how truthful it is. This is part of the reason why a lot of right wing conspiracies sound so ridiculous - truth is not a quality that is valuable to them because it could interfere with the pursuit of power. In this framework, Qanon people asserting that ivermectin will cure covid are not making a factual medical claim; what they are doing is saying that the medical establishment cannot be trusted, that a deadly disease killing millions of people can be stopped with an over the counter remedy. Because if covid isn’t real, or is as mild as a seasonal flu, then the current government in power is making illegitimate demands on people to socially distance and wear masks, and therefore the only moral response is to overthrow them and install someone who will stop making those demands. You have to view all right wing conspiratorial claims not as factual but as strategic; you need to evaluate their claims based on what the proposed solution to the problem they’re presenting you with will be. If they’re claiming trans people are grooming children or assaulting people in bathrooms, then the obvious policy response is to bar trans people from any space that contains children or public bathrooms (ie, all public spaces). If Jewish people have undue influence in government, the obvious response is to remove all Jewish people from positions of power. And these are short term solutions - if these minorities are so disgusting that you need to shut them out of public life, the only real solution is to get rid of them entirely. It doesn’t matter that these accusations are demonstrably false; they are “true” to a fascist because they further their political and ideological goals. They have to be true for their power to be realized, and so by virtue of that they are effectively true to a fascist. (This is also why disproving their claims with facts don’t work; they aren’t interested in the truth of any of their claims, because truth is not something they value in their vision of society).

And they don’t even need to be dyed in the wool explicit fascists to be saying this shit! A good portion of this discussion has been about hidden assumptions in discourse. I do things without realizing the full consequences of my behaviour sometimes. Sometimes I don’t even know I’m “doing” something at all because it’s so embedded and normalized in society that it feels natural. I try to catch myself as much as I can to make sure I’m not doing something harmful, but everyone does it. Fascists are just as capable of this. And like, racism and bigotry are part of normal everyday society. The dedicated well-read fascists who know what they’re doing and the shallow incurious racists who just want to be assholes both peddle the same shit and it does the same harm; doing it unintentionally doesn’t make you mentally ill, and being mentally ill doesn’t mean you’re being racist through some kind of medical accident. These people are enacting their political beliefs through their words and behaviour, whether they know the full scope of those beliefs or not, and you should not diminish that agency by arguing that they’re misguided mentally ill people.

It’s also part of the reason why they will deny charges of bigotry. They aren’t necessarily lying to themselves, but they are attempting to exclude types of discourse that would harm their political goals. I’m not racist because racism is bad and what I want isn’t bad. I’m not racist because racism is undue bigotry against racial minorities and mine is fully justified. You can’t trust what they say, but you can trust their intentions, and their intentions are bad.

This post is extremely long already so I’ll wrap it up here. When you see people making outlandish, false, ridiculous claims about a minority group, remember that these people are not expressing mental illness. They are expressing dangerous political views and need to be shut down for political reasons. The status of their mental health is not relevant to solving the problem of bigotry. Laying the blame at the feet of mental illness is an error of both scope and origin; bigotry does not come from illness, it comes from a desire for power, and that is the thing that needs to be stopped.

#book club #erm. hope this makes sense lol #absent citizens is a great book btw highly recommend it even if you are not canadian #it goes into detail about how disability discourse is linked with neoliberalism which I didn’t get into here #but neoliberalism is a huge component of this so. worth checking out