#it wasn't just my mother's stupid belief that the right way to be a mother was to send her teenager to therapy

[lavender-devotion]

The Radio Demon has a WIFE??? And She was a WHAT??? (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Summary: Mimzy stops by and brings up a little detail that Alastor forgot to mention: he has a wife...oh yeah, and she used to be a nun. How the fuck did that happen??? -Or- I was watching 'Call the Midwife' and got Alastor brainrot ideas while watching the romance between Sister Bernadette/Sheila and Dr. Turner.

Tags: Fem!Reader (for obvious reasons), She/Her pronouns, No Use of (Y/N), everything I know about being a nun is from a TV show (don't kill me pls), Husk is...so fucking tired, also I couldn’t find a midwife house in New Orleans so I made one up (don’t kill me pls x2) TW: None, other than my possible terrible idiocy regarding nun shit and Catholicism, I feel like me being the author should also be a TW in and of itself ngl Word Count: 2.4k Read it on Ao3 <3

"WHAT?"

Husk winced as Angel's voice echoed throughout the lobby, loud and full of indignation.

"There is no fuckin' way tall, dark, an' creepy is married," he insisted, staring down Mimzy as she took another swig from her glass, "you've gotta be fuckin' with us, right Husk?"

Husk pointedly ignored the question, turning his back to the two idiots and their quickly gathering crowd of spectators—the other residents of the hotel. Alastor didn't like people talking about him unless it was with hate, fear, or admiration- (the arrogant fuck) -and he liked people spreading his personal business around even less.

He wasn't stupid enough to get involved in this conversation, even if Mimzy and Angel apparently were.

Mimzy laughed, "oh please, that's not even the best part! Alastor's sweetheart actually used to be a sister!"

"A sister?"

"Yeah-"

'Don't fuckin' say it-'

"-like a nun!"

'Motherfucker.'

That statement had Angel choking on his drink, everyone else letting out various exclamations of disbelief—all of which only made Mimzy's smile widen. She was enjoying the attention.

"Yeah," she continued, "the pretty thing was actually part of one of the few nunneries that were up and running back in our day—although hers also served as a sorta home base for the midwives in New Orleans before it all became a hospital affair."

"So not only did Smiles somehow manage to get 'imself a sweetheart, but he managed to bag a fuckin' NUN?!" Angel asked incredulously, "how the FUCK did that happen?"

Mimzy grinned mischievously, "well-"

"Mimzy," Husk said, caution and warning in his tone. It was one thing to drop a couple facts and then shut up—Alastor was fond of her- (as "fond" as the bastard was capable of) -so she might be able to get off with a warning—but to start telling stories about his life? Spilling all his carefully guarded secrets?

Yeah, that'd get her killed. Or worse.

Even so, Mimzy either didn't know how secretive Alastor was- (doubtful) -or she was just under the delusional belief that he wouldn't hurt her for her slight- (bingo) -because she just waved off Husk's warning.

"Hm...where should I start?"

---------------

What everyone in Hell tended to forget was that the cruel, bloodthirsty, "Radio Demon" they all feared...used to be a man, used to be human just like all the rest.

Quite the human he was, though.

Obviously he did his fair share of terrible things, he didn't end up in Hell for being a saint, but before any of his...transgressions came into the public eye, people truly thought he was. He'd come from a poor home, his father ran off when he was young, and yes he was an odd child—but all of that seemed inconsequential the older he got.

He worked hard in school and worked his way up in the world until he finally became a famous radio host, the crown jewel of the French Quarter. Even so, all of the attention never seemed to go to his head. His mother's son, always his mother's son, he was the picture of a true gentleman—always polite, always chivalrous, always helping others. It certainly didn't hurt that he was handsome too, and his charm was unmatched by any other man in the city.

As such, it was no shock that he attracted all manner of attention from people vying for his affection, but no one seemed to catch his particular eye. That was, until he met her...

---------------

“Now, keep in mind, I don’t know very much about his missus before they got together,” Mimzy admitted, “but, from what I can tell, she'd always been a mystery, so I don’t think it really matters-“

“Obviously it matters!” Angel interrupted, his drink and everything else long forgotten, “for someone to get together with Smiles willingly, they’ve gotta have some of their own skeletons in the closet! C’mon toots, you gotta know something.”

Mimzy circled a finger around her glass, playing coy, “well…maybe I might know a thing or two…”

Husk wanted to bash his head against a wall.

Fine, fine, fine. It was one thing—one really fucking stupid thing—to talk about Alastor, but to talk about his wife? Especially to fucking gossip about her?

Yeah, no, these morons were definitely dead as soon as Alastor found out.

“Well?” Angel pressed, looking downright desperate for more information.

“Well…”

---------------

Alastor's sweetheart had always been an enigma since the day she arrived in New Orleans, every bit of her covered in that modest black and white clothing—all except her face and hands, of course.

By all accounts, she was a sweet girl—kind, attentive, always willing to help—but she was also very…secretive, one might say. It wasn't that the other nuns weren't reserved, because they were, but she was especially so, and her brand of reservation came across as more underhanded than anything else.

She never talked about her hobbies, her family, her life before taking her vows—hell, she never talked about her life before she moved to New Orleans. So it was no surprise that a fair amount of rumors followed her around, no matter how sweet she appeared to be.

Some said that she was a runaway, trying to escape an abusive father; others said that she moved there to get out of a loveless marriage; and a few even claimed that she was on the run from the law. There was never any evidence to support any of those rumors, of course, but people loved to talk.

One might think that Alastor was drawn to her because of all of those whispers, just chasing down another story for his radio show, but it was actually a mix of pure luck and her work as a midwife that brought those two together.

You see, midwives didn't only deliver babies, but they also offered all sorts of medical assistance to anyone who needed it. These services eventually brought her to his mother’s home one day, and it just so happened that Alastor was also visiting his ma at the time.

The two started talking and, between his magnetic charms and her sweet demeanor, it was no surprise that the two got along like a house fire.

From then on, every time she visited his ma to take care of her, he was there too. Then he started showing up at all of the events hosted by Saint Charlene’s, always finding his way to her side. And there even came a time where he started visiting her frequently, always welcomed by her fellow sisters and the other midwives with open arms.

---------------

“Wait a minute,” Angel interrupted, “I thought nuns weren’t allowed ta be in relationships. It goes against the whole point of bein’ a nun, don’t it?”

Mimzy huffed, “I was getting to that part!”

---------------

Obviously nuns weren’t allowed to have relationships, romantic or sexual, and most people of that time didn’t believe that men and women could simply be friends—so the friendliness they both shared fell under quite a bit of scrutiny. Everyone that knew a thing about that sweet girl knew she would never betray her vows, and everyone that knew a thing about Alastor knew that he’d rather die than be anything less than a perfect gentleman. 

But, like I said, people in New Orleans liked to talk.

Neither of them paid any mind to it, though. Alastor was already dealing with the bullshit that came with showbiz and his sweetheart already had a bunch of rumors circulating about her, so what did they care if a few more whispers were added to the pile? But eventually, a painfully long time after the two first met and became friends, there came a day when something that wasn’t quite platonic bloomed between the two of them. 

Obviously the two of them were horrified by this; Alastor, because he would never ask her to forsake her vows for him, and her, because she was worried that she was betrayin’ her God by feeling that way. 

Eventually she talked to the other nuns, though, and got some help figuring out her emotions and what she wanted to do, and Alastor talked things through with his ma—who was, frankly, overjoyed that he’d finally found someone who he fancied.

Let me tell ya, even with all of the others helpin’, it took fuckin’ forever for those two to finally get together. Between their shared emotional constipation, everyone’s expectations of them, the worry that the other didn’t feel the same way, and the fear of crossing each other’s boundaries…yeah, it took over a year after the two of them figured out they liked each other for them to actually say something. 

By the time they finally got their shit together, Alastor’s mom and the other midwives were already planning their wedding. Hell, the nuns were just about ready to rescind her vows themselves, they were so sick of the pining!

Everything worked out in the end, though. The two confessed, his sweetheart did the whole dispensation thing, and the two eventually got married.

----------

“Blah, blah, blah…they got a happily ever after and a white picket fence,” Mimzy finished with a lazy wave of her hand, “so, that's the story."

Angel just stared at her, mouth hanging open slightly, “huh, I didn’t know tall, dark, and creepy had it in ‘im.”

Mimzy hummed, “yeah, he might seem all big an’ scary, but underneath all that he’s a total doll!”

Husk shuddered as the prickle of static suddenly made his hair stand on end, signaling Alastor’s entrance into the room—along with Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer himself. His eyes immediately found the small group that had gathered by the bar, and it probably wasn’t hard for him to figure out what exactly drew everyone there.

“Now, now, Mimzy, what have you been telling everyone about me?” Alastor chastised, making his way closer to their group. His tone was teasing, but it had a subtle warning at the end—one that said he wasn’t asking for shits n' giggles. It made Husk want to disappear into the wall, to get out of the way of what would follow if Alastor found out the subject of their conversation. Hopefully Angel and Mimzy would have enough sense to keep their mouths shut, but he doubted it.

“Oh, nothing you need ta worry about!” she said, waving him off playfully, “just a couple old stories from back in the day.” 

“Is that so?”

Mimzy hummed her affirmative, finishing off her drink, and for one blissful moment Husk thought that the subject would drop and everything would be fine. He was wrong.

“Yeah, and I gotta say I’m surprised atcha Smiles,” Angel snarked, “who knew ya had a missus back home keeping ya on a leash.”

The room went dead silent.

The lights suddenly flickered, a dark red glow casting across the room as they did—mangled shadows dancing on the walls. Husk shrank back, trying his best to blend in with the bottles of alcohol that lined the shelf behind him.

Alastor’s voice was pure radio static, barely restrained rage filtering through, “w̶͚̫̰̰̟̌̆̓̚̚h̵̩̤̹͓̗̾̔͗̇̉å̴̱̩̝͚̎́̐̔̏͜†̸̡͔̲̠͔̔̎̆̀̕ ̸̲̠͔̟̗͗͑̾͐͘Ð̷̡̠̥̞͚̔̾̋̋͘ï̶̩̼̻̱̣̓̀̅͆̑Ð̸̣͍̞̬͖͋͑̽͗̚ ̶͈͙̤̺̲̒̒̒̎̀¥̷̭̻̥̘͈̇̓͑́́ð̵̢̲͕͈͇͐͊̓̀̓µ̴͕̬͕̟̟͊͊͂͗͘ ̵̪̲̫̳͍͑̑͒̔͐j̶̨̦̹̪̟̄̽̽̄͘µ̸̧̭͖͇̞̈́̔̀̒͒§̵̺̠͚͓͓̓͂̚͘͝†̷̛̖̤̰̗͓͋̄̇̑ ̸̢̩͙̙̫̊͗̃͘͝§̷̻̣̼̼͙̎͋̂͆͝ą̸̡̛̱̣̻̊̈́̈́̑́¥̶̢̟̼̘̲̃̿̐͑͠?̴͉̞̠̞̦̒͌̋͗̓”

‘Fuck.’

----------

You hummed quietly as you sat on the couch in your and Alastor’s shared home, sketching whatever came to mind in one of the small notebooks he’d bought you—working away the time and trying to ignore his glaring absence. It wasn’t often you were left yearning for your husband’s presence, finding plenty to do during the times he was gone, but today you wanted nothing more than for him to walk through the door. Luckily, you got your wish, although things certainly weren’t how you expected. 

As soon as Alastor walked in, you could tell he was pissed. It was in his posture, his strained smile, the violent crackle of interference in the air. Even his shadow seemed agitated, flitting from one spot to another as if it simply couldn’t sit still. 

 “Al?” You asked carefully, “is everything alright?” 

He turned to you, obviously trying to pass off the illusion of placidity, “everything is fine, my dear, why do you ask?”

“Well you just seem–” the lights around the house flickered, and you could hear a few of them bust in the other rooms, “...tense.” 

He kept up the mask for a moment longer, still trying to fool you, but it dropped soon enough and he let out an irritated sigh.

“...certain people need to learn to keep their insignificant little mouths shut.”

You set aside your notebook and gestured for him to sit next to you, a request he obliged. Almost immediately your hands went to his shoulders and you began massaging them, trying to alleviate some of the tension practically radiating off of him—drawing an almost relieved sigh from his mouth. 

You pressed a barely-there kiss to the back of his neck, “what happened, love?”

…

“Mimzy stopped by the hotel today and during her stay she decided to fucK̶̝̥̘̪͍̉͋́̈̅Ḭ̴̛̭̪͇̀͋̐̍͂͜ñ̷̡̤̩̖̰̈́͂̑̐͝G̴̞̯̭͈̘͋̒̑̅̚ ̵͇͕͓͕̗͆̃͛͊̂Ġ̶̝̱̪͈̘̽̌͗͝Ö̶̼̲̬̪̟̏̌̄̚͝§̴̺̱̲̫̝̍̈͆̃́§̶̧̞̣̼̮̂͊͋͌͠Ì̷̲̰̹̰͚͌̀̌̇̂þ̴̢̥̰̖̬͒́͌̏̿ ̸̝̺̪̟̈́͊̅̏̆ͅÄ̷͎̘͓̬͇̋̍͑̏͠ß̵̢̫͇̣̻́̊͆͆͝Ö̸̡̤̤̤͙̀̎̿͛͝Ú̸̟̯̺͈̪̇̓̊͐̊†̸̘̺͎͖̣̂̍̽̋̚ ̷̪̺̖̜͇̀͂͒̚͝Ö̴̮̯̗͙̑̆̽̄̚ͅỨ̸̫̯̰̺̼̈́̄̐͝R̸̨̢̧̭͓̒͊̋̇͘ ̵̧̥̗̰͖̅̌̒̿̃þ̶̦̞̫̙͕̈̒̀̿̚Ȩ̵̞̖̲͖̀͗̂̎͝͝R̸̢̪̟̜̮̉̌͒̉̃§̴̢̣͇̠̫̓̀̈͗̽Ö̴̟͕͓̤̀̈́̒͘͜͠ñ̶̛̙͍̼͖͔̎̓̐̋Ä̶̢̬͇͙̟̌͌̃̈͌L̴̨̪͎̟̦̄̇̈̓̿ ̶̨̧̰̼̮̈͒̀̒͝L̸͖̬̙̮̗̂̓̀͘̚Ì̴͙̠͈̺̣͌̓͊̓̓V̷̯̭̞̙͖͆̐̾͗̔Ę̴̪̻̤̀̾͑͆͜͝͝§̷̛͚̤͇̫̘̑͆̾͘.̵̡̥̪̫͇̽̋̑͝͝ §̶͎̣̝̳͓͋̊̀̌͆ð̵̢̼̖̝̭̏̇̕̕͝ ̵̘̜͚̠̫́͊̈́͐̽Ì̷̢̧͖͚͙̆̔̌̓̏ ̸̻̩̪͓̞̀͑͒̇͋†̴̧͉̯̻̳̒̽͋̾̋ð̵̟͙͍̳͈͒̈́̑̍̑ð̸̲̤̞̞̙̄̅͛̓͠k̷̖̪̩̭͇͋̒̀͘͘ ̶̢̛̗̞͍̱̒̅͐͘ï̸̢̢͕̩̰̍̍̽̈́̈́†̵̠̥̖̗̌̌̾̿͠ͅ ̵͙̹̦͎̬͆́̈͗͛µ̸̧̼̲̮̙͊͂̑̓͌þ̶̹̬̫̥̹̓̑̆͘͝ð̷̡̺͖̣̇̅̔͐͑ͅñ̸̼͙̦͕̼̏̐͗͘̕ ̵̢̱̺͖͋̄͌͊̊ͅṁ̸͉̜͙͖͍̓̍͗͝¥̶̨̠̜̮̜̑͑͗̎̌§̵̧̜͉̣̓́͛̇̓ͅḛ̸̠̲̝̤̂̓̎̓͌̈́ĺ̵̛̻̭͚̝̹̽͐̍£̵̠̫̲̹̬̍̊̾̍̕ ̴̧̭̘̞̀̀͋́̄͜†̵̨̰̠̫̖̎̋̃̂͘ð̴̨͍̭̤̙̄̑̎͝͠ ̴̯̟̟̖̜͒͂͌͒̉§̶̪̜̙͎͎́̒̍̾͝h̷̝̻̞̖̄̅̔̆̕͜µ̵̨̨̛̣̬͓̍̑͋́†̶̨̢̰̤͙̌̀̈̈́͆ ̴͔̟̻̫̐͊̓͑̉͜ĥ̴̢̯͔̯̈́̇̑͋͜ê̵̡̳̠͖̺͋͒͐̍̇r̸̝̘͍̙̂͑́̃͊ͅ w̷̸̼̠͓̟͍̣͓̪͚͊̈͗̉̄̊̍̍̇̀͜h̵̥͓͕̲͉̋̓͊́̈́ð̴̨̡͚̲̦̄̃̄̓͋r̸̖̲̮̮͐͌͑́̃ͅę̴͖͇͙̥̂̐͛͌͒̽ ṃ̷̨̱͈̭̀̃͂́͘ð̵̧̛͎̗̟̒̇̈̊ͅµ̴̨̛̖͈̱͈̑̋́̕†̵͚̝̜̟͍̔̈̀̈́̆h̵͚̞͔̗̖̀͒̀͛͘.̴̳̙̞̗̬͒́͆̂͂”

The sudden surge of static and shadow didn’t phase you, even as Alastor struggled to not shift into his demonic form—sharp cracks of green light appearing on the walls.

When you’d first found out about his…extracurricular activities, you had been afraid and confused, but now it was nothing more than background noise. He was still the man you fell in love with, still your husband, even if he occasionally killed and ate the degenerates of the world and anyone that pissed him off.

All things considered, you were just glad that you’d ended up in Hell with him, even if the things you'd had to do to ensure that were...distasteful. 

You wrapped your arms around him, nestling your head into the crook of his neck. A luxury that no one else enjoyed but you. 

“That does sound stressful. Is everything handled now, at least?” 

“Yes,” he drawled, leaning back further into you, “unfortunately I was unable to get rid of the other l̷̡͈̼̘̩̾͌̉͝͠ï̸̗̭̝̥̺̈́̓̐̿̚†̴̢̡͕͖̹͌͌̋̈́͗†̸̢̣͖͚͔̓̌̉̾̐l̶̡̪͙͕͗͐̍́̕͜ę̴̡̦͕̜̂͋̏̅͘͝ ̵̰̥̩̺̪̀̋̉͑̍§̸̖̥̦̗͓̏̋̉̈́̃h̶͓͙̯͔͇̎̏̾̕̚ï̴̧̡̱̗̻̈́͗͆̃̀†̴̣̖̯̭͉̂͐͒̍̀§̵̧̡̹̼̹͒̿̍̋͠, as Charlie has taken a liking to them, but I trust that I got my point across.” 

“Good.”

You pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek.

“Now…when do I get to meet these ‘little shits’ that get on your nerves so often?” you teased, drawing an amused chuckle from him. 

“Don’t even start, darling.”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #devotion’s posts: fic stuff 🪻

[invisiblerhythmcat]

having a lot of emotions right now

but mostly because I think i'm realizing wrote off a lot of my medical trauma because I haven't seen a doctor or had any significant interaction with any medical professional for so long, I assumed that it was just more generalized anxiety

but, as a kid, I went to the doctor regularly etcetcetc

and my dad used to be a doctor (I barely remember that time, he was a piano teacher by the time I could really form solid memories)

and he absolutely used to brush off anything I brought up as not a big deal and between that and some clear instances I can think of of our family doctor not taking me seriously (which is a weird brain shift, because my main memory of her is being generally awesome, giving me ice skates, and standing up for me when my mom tried to have a therapy session about how i wasn't talking to her because I was a teenager)

and I think, being told by someone with medical authority, whether it was my dad or the doctor, that it wasn't so bad time and time again was traumatizing. It doesn't feel big or huge, but neglect is traumatic, and, now I understand I'm autistic and already so fucking confused about how pain and feeling things works, I can't even begin to imagine how much that fucked me up.

like, I think the reason I don't trust doctors and didn't see a doctor for a good five years was about more than just that one time a doctor brushed me off and claimed my hot flashes were just stress from exams that had already been over for two months. It was because that fed into a longstanding pattern of neglect being brushed off which had taught me to assume I was fine, so it just triggered all of my run and hide and avoid making a stir instincts.

so that, of course that laid the groundwork for my eventual anxious breakdown stemming from (non-existent) allergies, because I was dealing with the fact that I truly believed I was going to die any minute (I wasn't, but hey, anxiety) and so I was going to doctors, but I was going with the assumption that I needed to run and hide and didn't care.

And fucking bless the one doctor who looked at my notes and listened when I said "I have this physical thing going on and this anxiety thing going on" and believed me and went "yup, here's how to deal with the physical thing without triggering the anxiety and this is the lie you have to tell to get fast tracked through the mental health system and get a therapist" before I could run and hide, because otherwise, I don't want to think about what could have been

But that was one person after a significant pattern that traces back to my entire childhood. And I've basically avoided doctors since that breakdown on the assumption that all my problems (minus acute injuries) are anxiety and the belief that the best response to a doctor is to assume I'm fine and hide my needs so as not to bother the.

So, of course I have medical trauma. Of fucking course.

That's a whole lot of feelings to work through now. Rude.

#it took me years to realize that my aversion to therapy was because I had been coerced into therapy settings by my school #in third fucking grade up until I stormed out and refused in sixth grade #it wasn't just my mother's stupid belief that the right way to be a mother was to send her teenager to therapy #so I guess yay me for figuring this out #things with my dad are complicated though so this is kind of annoying #he was AWFUL when I was kid #i wouldn't say abusive but definitely edging there #enough to fuck me up big time #but he also changed a lot as he got older #with help from my mom leaving #(she got worse that's a whole other thing) #and now I fucking love my dad #he's this giant teddy bear who takes ridiculous amount of joy from silly things and he really really cares about me #in such a deep and earnest way #also he just got a boat so I can go SAILING #but he doesn't remember what he did when I was a kid #and is usually surprised when I bring it up #not ignoring or denying #he just legit doesn't remember #so it's just weird to be like ohhey remember that time you were HORRIBLE? #ehhhhhhhhhhh

[amatchinwater]

I Know What You Want From Me / Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: Song fic of 18 by Anarbor, your parents kick you out when you tell them you can't be with Jason because you're already dating Eddie...except that you aren't. So now you have to go to Eddie after not speaking for years and ask to not only live with him, but pretend to date you too. What could possibly go wrong there?

Warnings: 18+, explicit sexual content, fingering, oral (f receiving), p in v sex, semi-public sex (they're in the woods), squirting, unprotected sex (reader on pill, but not stated until after), cream pie, choking, spanking, protective reader (Jason gets his shit rocked), angst with a happy ending, fluff, protective Eddie, reader's parents are awful

Words: 9746 (oops?)

a/n: I feel like I've been working on this forever and a day. With the finale, I had to stop because angst wasn't something I could handle just yet. But the fluff and ending makes the angst worth it. Requests are still open.

Master list

Part 2

Not my gif!! Credit to the lovely @msmischief101

It’s been a long time since you’ve pulled into Forest Hills Trailer Park. A really long fucking time. Part of you wants to turn around, just get on the highway and never look back at this godforsaken town and their prejudiced beliefs. That having money and a pristine lifestyle makes you worth something. It’s bullshit. And you fucking hate it. And you want out. Hell, your bags are already packed in the backseat behind you.

You’re eighteen, legally, if you really wanted to, you could run. Run as far away from not only Hawkins, but Indiana in general. Now that you’re eighteen, you have a sizable trust fund. Your father wanted to rescind your rights to it. Change it to where you’d only see a penny once you were twenty-one. Or worse; married. Somehow your mother convinced him not to do that, that you’d be able to use the money for college. 

You’re not even sure you want to do that either. 

But there was one person in your life who told you that no matter what you did, they’d always stick beside you. While that statement hasn’t held true these last six years or so, it was far from it being his fault. No, you shamefully hold that crown. 

Once you started to rise up the social ladder in school and your father got a big time promotion at work, your parents forced the social debutant bullshit on you. You hated every single second of it. Every one of those dumb parties they dragged you to. The dinners and get-togethers. They all sucked. And everyone there was so vapid and full of themselves, you wanted to scream. 

Now that you’re eighteen and “supposed” to be looking at prestigious colleges for some job you’ll never want, your parents did the worst thing imaginable. They tried to set you up. Quite literally wanted to give you an arranged marriage. God, the look your father gave you like it was supposed to be some wonderful gift you should be grateful for. As if being pawned off to someone like Jason Carver is to be coveted. 

Fuck that. 

So you did something really stupid. Like, really stupid. You told them that you couldn’t be with Jason because you were already with someone else. You’d hoped it would just be enough to make them drop the issue. It wasn’t. They poked and prodded until you gave them a name. You told them the only person in Hawkins you could even remotely think of. 

Eddie Munson. 

The conversation with your parents was pretty short after that. Being told to pack your bags and not come back if you wanted to align yourself with “someone like him.” That if you were grown up enough to make your choices, to go live with him and see how long it lasts, and not to come crying to them when you wind up pregnant. 

You did exactly that. Grabbed everything you felt couldn’t be replaced and left. But for some reason, instead of just driving towards the town limit and getting the fuck out of dodge, you found yourself on your way to the trailer you used to spend a good chunk of your childhood in. 

Because you grew up there. You were once neighbors- something your parents try very hard to forget- and childhood best friends. You used to be on a first name basis with Wayne. And despite what everyone says about him, that he’s a freak or the satanist propaganda, you know Eddie. Knew Eddie. So maybe there was some small part of you that hoped Eddie was still that sweet kid at heart and would let you crash for a few months until graduation and then you could leave Hawkins for good. 

It was a stupid idea from the start. One not fully formulated or even properly processed. 

But here you are, pulling up to the familiar, yet foreign trailer with Eddie’s van parked right out front. And of course it’s pouring rain. The day your life goes to shit wouldn’t be a nice, calm evening. No. When have you ever been that lucky? When is anyone that lucky? 

Turning the engine off, you sit and listen to the rain patter against the roof of your car. Contemplating leaving again. Maybe the real reason you came here was so that you would be convinced to stay. Eddie has never been one to run from his problems. The bloody nose he gave Jason a year ago for taking a swing on him is proof of that. So maybe you really want someone to tell you to man the fuck up and grab life by the balls or some shit. 

Just some strange words that manage to sound inspiring because they’re coming from Eddie’s goofy grin. 

“Fuck it,” you grind your teeth, shoving your door open and stepping out into the storm, wincing when the freezing water sinks into your skin. “Shit, shit, shit,” you jog up to his front door, thankful for the awning over the porch. Not letting yourself be talked out of this, you pound on the door to be heard over Shout at the Devil being blasted from Eddie’s room. 

“Henderson, I already told you-” Eddie’s yelling as he yanks open the front door, “-you’re not Henderson.” 

“No,” you shiver, hands rubbing your arms. How did you possibly get drenched in the ten steps it took you to get from the car to his door? Eddie’s features are guarded and you can’t help but shiver again. From the cold or his stare, you’re not really sure. Maybe you should just leave. The highway is sounding more and more tempting. “I should just-” you trail off, gesturing back towards your car.

Eddie finally takes a look at your state and his eyes widen, furrowed eyebrows losing their tension, “no, come in,” he opens the door further. “I-I’ll get you a towel,” Eddie runs off. 

Shaky bones carry you over the threshold, goosebumps only getting angrier at the warmth of the trailer. It looks exactly like it did the last time you were here. Except maybe a few more hats have joined the collection on the wall. Eddie comes back with two towels, placing one on the couch and offering you the other. “Thanks,” you take it, toweling your hair before wrapping it around your shoulders, sitting on the one he’d set down for you. “I’m sorry to just barge in like this,” your eyes begin to burn with tears. 

“What happened? Are you okay?” Eddie sits beside you and you can practically feel his warmth radiating off of him. That's how cold you are. 

“I did something really stupid,” you admit, shaking your head, wanting to curl up in a hole. “My parents want to hand me over to Jason. Pretty bow and everything,” you choke out a laugh. “Like I’m some prized trophy wife or some shit.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie nearly shouts. You laugh sarcastically, nodding your head. His face twists, “but hang on, that’s a stupid thing they did. What stupid thing did you do?”

You fiddle with the fraying corner of the towel, dropping your gaze to your lap, “I told them that I couldn’t be with Jason.”

“That doesn’t seem stu-”

“Because I’m in a relationship with you,” you pull your head back up, meeting deer in the headlight brown eyes and a slack jaw. Nerves make your tongue ramble, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I told them that. You were the first person that came to mind when they wouldn’t stop asking me who could be more important than Jason. And I just- I didn’t know what to do. So I just thought- I don’t know what I thought. But w-we used to be best friends once, I-”

“Yeah, once,” Eddie tongue in cheek scoffs, “then you got popular and I didn’t matter anymore. So, what? You thought you would just come here and I would live up to this fantasy relationship? Because it’s you?”

Your head drops again, “they told me if I wanted to be with you that badly that I should go live with you. That they didn’t recognize their daughter anymore. They kicked me out, or maybe I just ran. I don’t know, Eddie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you into this.” Tears spill from your eyes, when you look back up at him, “I’ll just get back in the car and leave town like I should’ve done in the first place. I’m sorry,” you take the towel off your shoulders and place it in his lap, getting up off the couch. 

You make it all of three steps until Eddie’s hand wraps around your wrist, “wait.” He sighs as you turn to face him. “Let me get this straight, you told your parents you were dating me because I was the only person you could think of that was better than Jason?” 

Rolling your eyes, you scoff, “well, duh.” It might have been instinct that made you say it, doesn’t make it any less true. Jason doesn’t hold a candle to Eddie in any situation. Not to you. Years of separation be damned. 

“And you now have nowhere to live?” You shake your head no. Eddie sighs again, “I’ll do it.” 

“W-what?” You ask. Because surely you heard him wrong. Eddie doesn’t owe you a fucking thing. “What do you mean you’ll do it?” 

“I’ll help you keep this facade that we’re dating for the sake of your parents and Jason,” he sneers at the name. “Move in here with me, Wayne won’t mind. He still asks about you from time to time, I’m sure he’d love the idea. And then, when you graduate, you’re free to do whatever you want.”

Blinking rapidly, you nearly stumble backwards. Shocked that Eddie would do this. “Why?”

“Your parents are assholes,” Eddie laughs and you do too. He’s far from wrong. “Pissing them off by pretending to date you and giving you a safe place to live? Fuck yeah, I’ll do it. Besides, I’m sure if they told you about it, Jason already knows. Which means I get to make that asshole jealous. It’s a win-win.” He laughs again, softer this time along with his smile. “And you’re right. We were best friends once, maybe we could be again.” 

“I really don’t give a fuck what Jason or my parents think, Eddie. I’m just sick of them thinking that they can control me,” you tell him. “But if giving them the finger is enough incentive for you, then I appreciate it. For what it’s worth, I really miss having you as my best friend.” 

“Me too,” he smiles, pulling you into a hug. “How about you go take a shower and I’ll make you some hot chocolate. Booze free this time,” Eddie chuckles.

You laugh, remembering when you were younger and neither of you thought Wayne would notice the vodka two twelve year olds put in their drinks. “Honestly, I probably wouldn’t mind it this time around,” you pull away. 

“Comin' right up,” Eddie grins, heading into the kitchen while you go down the hallway. 

Stopping at the bathroom you poke your head around the corner, “hey, Eds.” He stops humming, milk hoovering the pot, quirking an eyebrow at you. “Thank you,” you smile, tucking into the bathroom to shower off before he can answer. 

—

At school the next day, you’re not really sure what to expect. Eddie drove you in his van and you were given more than a few looks from people you don’t even know. Which were thankfully easy enough to ignore. Somehow you’re also lucky enough that all of your classes before lunch didn’t have a single one of your “friends” either. Friends meaning Jason’s friends who were nice to you because you had money and a pretty face. 

But your actual lunch period? Practically the entire basketball team shared the same block as you. And the second you walk out of the lunch line, Jason immediately finds you. You’re wearing darker clothes and have certainly kept your head down. How the fuck did he find you so fast? 

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he smiles with too much teeth. Voice so sweet it’s sickening. 

“Should’ve hid better,” you mumble, clutching your tray to your chest to keep a barrier between the two of you. “Did you need something?” You ask, eyes scanning the room to find literally anyone you could run to to save you from this. You find Eddie’s friends from Hellfire all around the table, but no sign of Eddie himself. You know their names thanks to Eddie telling you about them last night. But you don’t really think you can just go up to them for help. 

“Well, I was talking to your parents the other day,” he pushes his hands farther into his letterman jacket pockets, ducking his head to appear coy. “I was hoping you’d like to go on a date with-”

An arm snakes around your waist and you nearly jump out of your skin, until you hear, “there you are, babe.” Eddie curls you close to him, kissing the side of your head, “you ready to go sit?” 

You turn to him with a grateful smile, ready to answer, but someone else’s words come out. 

“What the fuck is this?” Jason snaps. 

“I’m sure you know Eddie,” you smile sweetly, fighting the eye roll at the jock before you. “My boyfriend,” you state, loving the way Jason’s eyes are ready to bulge out of his head. Eddie chuckles smugly beside you, his grip tightening only just. You’re actually glad he’s getting something out of this too. Even if it’s just shoving it in Jason’s face. Makes it feel like you’re not using him.

“I thought they were joking!” Jason seethes, “you’re seriously with this freak? You chose him over me? A freak?” 

“Eds, could you hold this please?” You extend your tray towards him, which he takes with a confused expression. “Thanks,” you kiss his cheek, turning your attention back to the blonde. “One, no, it’s not a fucking joke. Two, he’s not a freak. And three,” you slap Jason right across the cheek with a resounding crack, silencing the cafeteria. “If I hear you say some shit like that about him again, you’ll be lucky a slap is all you get. Fuck off, Jason.” 

“Holy shit,” Eddie sputters a laugh, “that was fucking awesome!” Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, Eddie walks you towards the Hellfire table, neither of you caring about the grumbling jock behind you. Or the hushed chatter that’s fallen over the cafeteria. “And here I thought I was the one coming to your rescue,” he teases, placing your tray on the table surrounded by his wide eyed friends. “Come here,” Eddie sits down, his arms locking around your waist to pull you into his lap. “Thank you.”

“I’m your girlfriend, Eddie,” you remind him. Though it’s just for show, it doesn't mean that you’re not going to act the way a proper girlfriend should. Defending your boyfriend from an asshole definitely fits the bill. “I’m not going to stand by and let someone talk about you like that.” 

“So I definitely heard that right?” Dustin, if you remember correctly, stares at you two. “You two are dating? Since when?” He shrieks. 

You freeze for a second, you hadn’t thought that through. 

“For a few months now,” Eddie offers, his thumb rubbing reassuring circles on your waist. “Her parents are pretty strict," he rests his chin on your shoulder, humming in contemplation, "so we’ve been keeping it quiet for a bit. But, she was ready to go public with it.” 

“Slapping Carver in front of the whole cafeteria is pretty public,” Jeff laughs, “and pretty sick!” He offers his fist to you. 

You can’t help but laugh, feeling welcome at their table as you reciprocate the fist bump. It’s actually really nice. 

“My girl doesn’t mess around,” Eddie turns, kissing your neck. 

Maybe you two should’ve gone over some boundaries. Because that felt a lot better than it should’ve and you two aren’t even technically together. But then you remember that everyone is supposed to believe this so that Jason and your parents leave you alone. If even anyone suspects it’s not and word gets out that this isn’t real- you shiver at the very thought. And the way Eddie said ‘my girl’ sent a whole different kind of tremor down your spine. 

What have you gotten yourself into?

—

Somehow you managed to survive the first two weeks of publicly “dating” Eddie. Jason for the most part has left you alone and you haven’t seen or heard from your parents either. It’s so freeing. It makes you wish that you had stuck to your guns when you guys had moved out of the trailer park and kept Eddie in your life. Even listening to them and doing everything they wanted, they still turned around and did the worst thing imaginable. So what else could they have really done if you’d stuck by Eddie’s side the whole time? 

It’s too late to know now, but at least you can make up for the lost time by being here now. Eddie doesn’t seem to mind it. The dinners you share while Wayne is at work. The hasty breakfasts the three of you share in the mornings before school. The weekends though, the weekends are your favorite. Because unless Corroded Coffin has a gig, you and Eddie just hang out at the trailer together. 

“What did you wanna do today?” You ask, flopping down on the couch beside Eddie and throwing your legs on his lap. 

Rubbing your exposed calves, he purses his lips, “I was thinking I should probably take you on a date.” Eddie leans his head on the backrest of the couch to look at you. “You’ve been living here for two weeks now. While it’s all good and well that we’ve been annoying the living hell out of Jason at school, you know how people in this town love to gossip.” 

“Okay,” you draw out the word, furrowing your brows. Not really understanding why Eddie is willingly wanting to be with you romantically outside of school. That would make this feel real. You’d definitely feel like you were using him if you did that. 

“If people see us walking around town together, I’m sure word would get back to your parents.” Eddie pats your leg, “Jason isn’t the only one we’re supposed to be convincing, right?” 

He’s got a point. If your parents get a whiff of this relationship’s fallacies, they’ll drag you back home kicking and screaming. “What’d you have in mind?” You ask, warming up to the idea quickly. 

“There’s a double-feature of Nightmare on Elm Street at the theater tonight,” he shrugs, tracing shapeless designs on your skin. “We could do that and then walk around town with ice cream or some shit. That’s a couple-y thing to do, right?” 

You smile brightly, basking in his shyness. “That sounds really nice, Eds,’ you nudge him with your foot. “Most girls would swoon over a date like that. Well, they’d fight for some romantic movie. But I’m so down for Freddy. When does it start?” 

“About an hour.” 

“I’ll go get ready!” You hop up from the couch, practically running out of the living room, leaving Eddie chuckling on the couch. 

“Thank you,” you hear Eddie say, grabbing your ice cream cones from the girl behind the window of the cute little ice cream shop in town. “M’Lady,” he offers you your chocolate peanut butter scoops, holding his now free hand out for you to hold while you walk back to the van. He’d left it parked by the theater so you could have the whole ‘experience’ of a date. Eddie is just as serious as you are about making this seem real.

He’d even apologized to you for the neck kiss and you sitting in his lap. Explaining to you that he’s a pretty tactile person, that he’s only acting how he would if he was actually dating someone. He was adamant in you telling him if he makes you uncomfortable- he doesn't. Your heart throbbed painfully in your chest that you’re keeping some girl from being in an amazing relationship with such a sweet guy. Even more so when there��s an even worse pang at the thought that you don’t have this for real for yourself either. That this thing you have going with Eddie is fake. 

There’s this small part of you wondering if this could be real. 

“Thanks,” you smile, taking his hand, licking the creamy goodness. Eddie laughs a little at you while you’re walking and eating your desserts. “What?” You ask, licking your lips. 

“You got a little-” Eddie gestures towards your face. A group of girls walk past you arm in arm and Eddie smiles, “here, let me.” He leans in and kisses you, tongue brushing along your bottom lip for the smallest of seconds. Enough to send a shiver down your spine that certainly can’t be explained by the ice cream when his mouth is so warm. “Better,” he grins again, dragging his thumb from the corner of your mouth. 

There’s a blush violently burning your cheeks as you blink rapidly. You don’t even know what to say, so you turn your head, biting away a smile and reclaiming his hand to walk down the road again. “Thank you for tonight,” you say, tossing your napkin in the trash as you pass it. “It-” you pause, thinking you heard someone call your name. Shaking it off you try again, “it was really nice. So, thank you.” 

“Of course,” he drops your hand to wrap his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to his side. Kissing the side of your head, Eddie says, “I’m glad you had a good time. Enough people are out tonight so-”

“Y/N!” 

You definitely heard it that time. Eddie did too. Whipping around, you see your parents stalking their way towards the two of you. Speak of the devil, right? “Fuck,” you curse under your breath, anxiety stowing only just at the protective way Eddie tightens his hold around you. 

“Say the word and we run, okay?” He whispers in your ear, "I've got you." 

All you can do is nod as your parents come to a halt in front of you. Your father barely even looking at you, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Your mom on the other hand can’t decide who to set her daggers for eyes on, you or Eddie. 

“Mrs-”

“Don’t.” Your mother holds her finger up at him, “you don’t get to talk.”

“Excuse me?” You sputter out.

“And you,” she sets her fury on you now, “it’s time for you to come home young lady. Enough playing house with him,” you mom can’t even say his name, yet the word holds the same amount of venom. “This isn’t you. Please, just come home and all will be forgiven.” 

Anger boils inside of you. Not asking how you are or caring if you’re happy. Just more of them telling you that you’re ‘not yourself’ and you’re so over it. “Fuck that,” you snap. “I’m not going anywhere with you. My home is with Eddie. Yeah, he has a name, mom,” you lace the word with as much disdain as she’d offered him. Shocking her to her core not only from your language, but your behavior. Good. You finally feel like yourself.

“Then we’ll cut you off,” your dad’s stern voice cuts in. “See how long it takes you to come crawling back with no money.” 

“First of all,” you square your shoulders, “both Eddie and Wayne make money. Second,” you chuckle dryly, “you’re really going to love this. I went to the bank. I’m eighteen now in case you forgot. I transferred everything into my own account. That money is mine. But if it means more to you than your own daughter, I’ll gladly give it back. I can very easily get a job. I don’t need anything from you.” 

Your father puffs his chest, “listen here-”

“No, I think it’s time you listen,” Eddie cuts him off. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with her or how she chooses to live her life. She is fucking incredible! And there's definitely no thanks to you fucking assholes. She’s an adult and capable of making her own decisions. And unlike you, I’d never hurt her or force her to do something she doesn’t want to. You want to stay with me, right?” He looks over at you.

It’s rhetorical, you're almost certain. But you answer it anyway, “absolutely.” 

“There is it,” Eddie grins widely, opening his arms at your parents. “She’s made her choice.”

“Let’s get out of here,” you pull gently on Eddie’s jacket, trying to coax him away. Eddie death glares at your father, but starts moving with you, only turning once you’ve yanked a little harder. 

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Your father snaps, his hand grabbing your arm tight enough to hurt. 

You whip your head around to face him, seething, “let go of me.” Eddie looks furious, ready to punch him in the face and honestly, you’d probably let him. But that’s more of a scene than you’re willing to cause right now. You won’t let Eddie get in trouble over you. When your dad makes no move to let go of you, you say, “let me go or I’ll scream.” 

He drops your arm as though it’d burned him, whispering your name with hurt eyes. 

“Come on, princess,” Eddie’s arm curls back around your shoulders, keeping you close. No longer face to face with your parents, your chest tightens and your eyes burn. Not because you miss them, but all of your emotions have boiled over, demanding release through tears. “Wait just a minute more,” Eddie rubs his nose in your hair, “don’t give them the satisfaction.” He opens the passenger door for you and you crawl inside. 

The second he’s settled in his seat, the tears fall freely. “I’m sorry they said that to you,” you sob, chest constricting. 

“Why are you apologizing to me?” He stares at you wide eyed, speaking softly. “I should’ve punched him in the face for what he said to you, are you kidding?” Eddie reaches over, cupping your face and wiping your tears with his thumbs. “No one should talk about you like that. Especially not your parents.” 

“Can we just go home please?” You ask, hoping sheer willpower will make your tears cease. Your eyes already feel sore. 

“Of course,” he rubs your cheeks again, leaning closer to kiss your forehead. “Here,” Eddie pulls his leather jacket off, handing it to you, “you’re shaking.” 

You smile softly, sliding your arms through the sleeves, the scent of Eddie so close calming you down enough that the tears well up, but don’t fall. It’s one thing to defend Eddie from some dickhead jock like Jason. Watching him stand up for you to your own parents, treating you vastly better than they ever have? Heartwarming doesn’t even come close.

—

“Do you need anything?” Eddie asks after you’ve showered and are just sitting up in bed, he’s changed into sweats now and a faded Metallica shirt. 

“Not unless you have something that can make my mind be quiet long enough to let me sleep,” you answer, curling your legs to your chest and holding them. 

Eddie purses his lips, “I could roll us a joint,” he offers. “I usually smoke before going to sleep. It could help. Only if you want to.” 

“I’ve never smoked before,” you whisper, embarrassed by the fact that you’re ‘dating’ a drug dealer, yet have never done any yourself. “But I trust you,” you try to smile, but it falls flat. Still a little too upset over earlier. “I’m willing to try if you think it will help.” 

“Best sleep you’ve had in a while,” Eddie smiles, walking over to his dresser, grabbing a wooden box from the drawer. “Are you sure?” He asks one more time, sitting down beside you, “I don’t want you to think I’m pressuring you or anything.” 

“You’re not,” your smile is genuine this time, “I’m sure.” You stare at his fingers while Eddie pinches the weed into the thin paper. If you weren’t so upset, your brain would probably short circuit at the way his tongue glides along the edge. That shouldn’t be allowed to look like that. 

After he takes two puffs of his own, he hands the joint to you, blowing the smoke out. “You might want to take small hits,” Eddie suggests when you bring the rolled paper to your lips. “Small hits,” he repeats, hopping up from the bed, “I’m gonna get us a drink real quick. Small,” Eddie enunciates. 

You don’t really know what’s considered a small hit, so you inhale maybe halfway, doing your best to hold the smoke in your lungs before letting it out. A cough bubbles in your chest that burns nearly as much as the weed. Eddie comes back just in time with a can of soda for you. Cracking it open with a fond smile on his lips, he tosses some snacks on the bed beside you. “Not as bad as I thought,” you say after taking a sip. You take another hit, handing it back to Eddie once he’s seated. 

“Are you going to be okay?” He asks, squinting around the smoke trying to go in his eyes. 

With a heavy sigh, you prop yourself on the wall beside the bed, “I think so? I’m not even sure why I cried to be honest. They suck and I don’t know why I expected them to react any differently than that. I’m more angry about the way they treated you.” You take the joint back from him, Eddie scooting over until your thighs and arms are pressed together. Pulling the smoke into your lungs, you appreciate it not burning as badly as the first time around. Enough to take a bigger hit, “this is definitely helping. So are you,” you whisper. 

Eddie nudges you with his arm, “happy to help. You’re my best friend and I’m always going to be here to take care of you. Until you get sick of me that is,” he teases.

Laughter bubbles in your chest, your cheeks hurting from how much you're smiling. Whether that’s the weed or just Eddie in general doesn’t really matter to you. “Aww,” you coo, absolutely certain that your newfound confidence is from the drug, “I don’t think I could get sick of you, Eddie.” You tell him, playing with a lock of his hair, surprised when he doesn’t tell you to stop. “I’m really grateful for everything you’re doing. And I meant it, I don’t expect you and Wayne to take care of me for free. I’ll get a job if it comes down to it.” 

“Please,” he snickers, handing the roach to you to finish off, “Wayne is overjoyed that you’re here.” Eddie wraps his arm around your shoulder and you tuck your head into his neck. “If there was mention of you leaving, he’d probably pay you to stay. He really did miss having you around. I think he secretly always wanted a daughter.” He takes the almost burnt paper and places it in the ashtray by the bed. 

“But he got the metal head outcast with a heart of gold instead,” you smile though he can’t see it. “Just-” you huff a small breath, “thank you, Eddie. For everything.” 

Eddie kisses the side of your head, “of course, princess.” Too high to care, you giggle at the name shooting warmth throughout your system, but it’s broken off with a loud yawn. “Looks like I’ve done my job,” he chuckles softly, “I’ll let you get some sleep.”

You lay down on the pillow, pulling the blanket over you, but when Eddie tries to get up, you reach out and grab his hand. “Eddie?” 

“Yeah?” He whispers, soft eyes looking over your tired face. 

“Could you-” you swallow the barrier in your throat in the form of nerves. “Will you stay with me? I don’t really want to be alone right now,” your voice barely above a whisper. 

Eddie smiles softly, his thumb brushing along your knuckles, “yeah. Yeah, I can do that.” He lets go of your hand so you can move over to give him some room to lay down beside you. The moment his back touches the bed, you curl up to him, resting your head on his chest. A contented sigh sounding off listening to his heartbeat in your ear, along with a dopey smile on your face. “Better?” He teases, though his arms wrap around you, one hand rubbing your back while the other plays with your hair. 

“Thank you,” you mumble, already falling asleep. 

—

Controlling your emotions seems to get harder and harder the longer this plays out. Having Eddie back in your life is honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to you. And you couldn’t be more grateful for him. Not just for having him as your best friend again. But over the last month and half, your heart thought it would be a really good idea to evacuate your chest and take home inside his. Graduation was supposed to be the light at the end of the tunnel. Now it just seems like an ominous deadline.

The day you lose Eddie. 

You’re far from ready for that. In fact, being with Eddie, actually being with Eddie, doesn’t seem like all that bad of an idea. But this was supposed to be temporary, even for him. How in the hell are you supposed to propose that? It’s not like Eddie has shown you any hint that he’d want this to be anything but an act. At home, he’s just your friend. Aside from getting high together, he sleeps on the couch so that you can have the bed. 

What you should be focusing on is the book in your hands while the group plays through their session. But your eyes keep trailing back to the head of the table. Eddie, Dungeon Master himself, sitting on his throne while having the time of his life. He truly is a novelty to watch like this. Carefree and enjoying himself. It’s amazing. 

“NO!” Dustin yells, startling Pet Semetery right out of your hands. 

Usually you’re better at not jumping from their antics, but the teen does not sound happy. Meanwhile Eddie is cackling and knocks a piece off the board. Flicking your eyes around the table, you notice it was the last piece standing aside from the one indicating the monster the group had been fighting. They lost. 

“Another ruthless, unbeatable campaign?” You muse, looking at your thrilled ‘boyfriend’ while everyone gathers their things to leave.

“Always, princess,” Eddie bounds over to you, leaning on the armrests of your chair, “always.” The doors close, leaving you two alone. “Don’t act like you didn’t help.” 

Narrowing your eyes playfully, you look up at him, “yeah, I thought they’d at least have a chance though.” 

“You’re far too devious for anyone to stand a chance,” Eddie closes the distance and kisses you. 

Instinct and pure want for him, you kiss back for a moment. Pulling away with immense effort, speaking with a small voice, “no one’s here, Eds,” you whisper. “You don’t have to act like you want to kiss me,” you say, trying to gauge how he might feel about the situation. He just kissed you after you both heard the doors close. But you also don’t want to get your hopes up too high either. That there could be a reality where Eddie wants to be with you for real too. 

“Yeah,” he clears his throat, his face unreadable, “you’re right. Sorry,” he clears his throat again, “let’s go home.” 

When you grab your book and stand up, Eddie heads for the door, keeping a step or two of distance between you. Is this just how he would act if you guys weren’t pretending to be together? Because when you’re alone, he’s not this cold. Silent. Or did what you say upset him?

Even when you make it to his van and he opens the door for you and you mutter, “thanks,” all Eddie does is offer a pinched smile. 

His silence continues the entire drive home. Eddie doesn’t even sing along to the music he plays. Nor does he drum his hands on the steering wheel. It’s putting you on edge and you want to say something so badly. But you also don’t want to risk actually pissing him off either. So, you follow his lead. Not saying a word while he drives you both home. 

Things don’t get much brighter from then on either. Eddie follows you into the bedroom, grabs his acoustic guitar, and goes right back into the living room. You are absolutely not going to sit in bed and cry about change in behavior. Not at all. You’re going to do it in the shower so there’s no chance of Eddie hearing you, like a smart person. 

Smart, right. 

If you were so smart you’d tell Eddie how you really feel. 

—

“Are you coming to band practice today?” Eddie asks you while you’re putting some mascara on in the bathroom. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” he scratches the back of his head, “the guys do love it when you come though.” 

“Just the guys?” The teased question spills from your lips before you’d even had a chance to filter them out. But it’s out in the air now.

Eddie grins for the smallest of seconds, “I like when you watch us too. You actually give us honest opinions. Will you come?” 

“Can you give me two more minutes?” You ask, waving the mascara brush around, “I’m almost done.” 

“Take your time,” he smiles, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder, “I’ll be out in the van.” 

Quickly, you finish your makeup and go back into the room to get your shoes on. Not wanting to wear a bra, you find one of Eddie’s hoodies and throw it on over your thin shirt. You’ve never seen him wear it, but his spicy cologne rests on the fabric. You allow yourself a moment to bring to sleeves that barely let your fingers peek out of it to your nose to breathe him in. The cologne, the smoke, the very essence of Eddie. Pretending that his arms are wrapped around you instead of his clothes. 

Not wanting to take too long, you snatch the book off the bed and run out the trailer to meet Eddie in the van. 

You sit through the covers of Iron Maiden and Motley Crue while you read your book. They’re actually really good and you do enjoy listening to them. It’s always nice to see Eddie in his element. Happy and perfectly himself. It isn’t until he mentions something about playing a new one that you start to pay attention a little more. It’s different from what they usually play, and has to be an original because you don’t recognize it either and can’t imagine any other voice than Eddie’s singing it. 

Then the chorus hits, and they have your full attention.

“So if you wanna piss off your parents, date me to scare them, show them you’re all grown up,” Eddie sings, his words the night you ran to him echoing in your head alongside the lyrics. “If long hair and tattoos are what attract you, baby, then you’re in luck.” 

Eddie wrote a song about you. Eddie wrote a fucking song about you! But your eyebrows furrow, because it doesn’t sound all that nice, to be honest. Like he’s letting his frustration out through it. You told him you didn’t care about what your parents thought, assuming that was just the incentive for him going through with this.

“You know, I’m broke, so you pulled out your Daddy’s card,” he continues with the song. The memory of you two grocery shopping together flickering in your brain. 

You had wanted to make dinner for him one night as a thank you, but couldn’t find much in his kitchen. He’d told you Wayne didn’t get paid until the weekend and that all his money from dealing went to take out. You promptly dragged him to the store and bought enough food to stock the entire kitchen. Yes, you even made sure he- and you when you chose to partake- had plenty of munchies around too. 

“Should’ve seen this coming from a mile away,” Eddie hasn’t looked at you once the entire time he sings. The rest of the guys just seem to be jamming out. Except Gareth, his face starts to twist, something mixed with confusion and understanding, his drumsticks almost falter. “I’ll play your game. I know what you want from me.” 

But this- this isn’t a game to you. Eddie isn’t a game to you. In its bones, it’s a great song. But your eyes are burning. Blurring with tears as the song goes on. Every lyric a knife to your heart. 

“And I know it’s just a phase, you’re not in love with me,” Eddie finally looks at you as a tear falls from your eye. You quickly wipe it away, seeing the same pain reflected in his big, brown eyes. “And I know it’s just a phase, you’re not in love with me. You wanna piss off your parents, baby. Piss off your parents, that’s alright with me.” 

The song ends and you hastily wipe the rest of your tears away, ducking your head back into your book so the rest of the guys don’t notice them. It’s bad enough that Eddie saw them. You knew you should’ve said something to him last night when he kissed you. You fucking knew it. And now you’ve hurt him. Hurt Eddie enough that he wrote a song to express himself. You feel like the biggest jerk there is. 

—

Something told you that you needed to drive yourself to school today. Eddie didn’t question it. You guys had another silent night at home. Didn’t talk about the song or confess your love to him. But you did decide that you will be doing that today. You just needed to have a moment to sort the words in your head into cohesive sentences. 

Then lunch rolled around and Eddie mentioned he’d be meeting Jason in the woods after school to sell to him. That sounded really fucking weird to you, he just waved off your concerns. But you also heard about Chrissy buying from Eddie too, so you didn’t think anything of it if he didn’t either. It wasn’t until you were walking to your last class that you happened to pass Jason in the halls talking to his friends about how they were going to jump Eddie when they met up that it all made sense. 

Why you wanted to bring your car. Why the whole concept of Jason buying drugs didn’t sit right with you. You skipped your last class to wait near the spot they’d meet. Your baseball bat sitting in your passenger seat. You’re not about to just let Jason hurt Eddie. But you’re also not an idiot. You watch from your hiding spot while Eddie sits on the bench waiting for the unknown threat to show up. 

He can take care of himself against Jason, that’s been proven. But you don’t want to see what would happen if it was three or more guys. When Jason first shows up with three other guys whose names you could care less to remember, your nerves light up. Eddie’s too because he rises from the picnic bench with his arms raised. Grabbing your bat, you get out of the car, careful to stay out of view. 

Inching closer, Jason’s voice finally makes it through, “she’d never actually want to be with a freak like you. No way. She wants to be with me, just like her parents want her to. Maybe if you let her go, we won’t hurt you.” 

Yeah, fuck that. Clenching your hand around the bat, you step into view, “back off, Carver,” you command. Swaying the wood back and forth. “I warned you once already.” 

“Princess,” Eddie warns, but you don’t want to hear it. He might have pieced together why Jason is here, but you’re not backing down. Never again. Not since the moment you stepped foot in his trailer what feels like ages ago.

“Can’t you see he’s corrupting you? Just come with me so that I can take care of you,” Jason yells back, looking honest to god perplexed. “This isn’t you. He’s messing with your head.” 

“He’s letting me live!” You shout, tired of everyone trying to tell you what’s best for you. Like you’re incapable of figuring that out for yourself. One thing’s for certain, it isn’t fucking Jason. And it isn’t your fucking parents either. “He takes care of me better than anyone else ever has! Eddie makes me happy!” 

“Aww, princess,” Eddie coos softly, making your heart swell. 

“Don’t make me say it again, Carver,” you swing the back at your side again.

“Grab him!” Jason snaps and two of the guys grab each of Eddie’s arms, pinning them behind his back. You hadn’t even noticed they were getting closer to him, you were so focused on making sure Jason didn’t do something stupid. Eddie struggles in their grip, loosening their hold, only to be forced still. 

Looks like Jason did do something stupid afterall. “I warned you, Jason,” you spit, swinging the bat, hitting him in the face with a satisfying thwack. He stumbles to the dirt, clutching his split, bleeding cheek. The remaining jock, not holding Eddie, helps Jason to his feet. Whipping your head to the others, “let. Him. Go,” you growl while Eddie stares at you with literal heart eyes. The boys keep their hold, flicking their gaze to their captain who's whining. Good. “Fine,” you huff, swinging the bat again, connecting with one of their legs. 

Eddie stumbles as they release him, the one you’d hit falling to the forest floor, yelling in pain. His partner in crime helps him up and you aim your bat again, a crystal clear warning. One that even Jason pays attention to and all four jocks limp away. Once they’re out of view, the bat thumps to the ground and you face Eddie. 

“Are you crazy?” He asks, pulling you close, staring in your eyes waiting for an answer.

“Don’t ever tell me again that I don’t love you, Eddie Munson, do you understand me,” you rush out, crashing your lips to his. A soft moan combined with an absolute sigh of relief pushes past your lips when he holds you tighter, pulls you even closer, and returns the kiss. 

“Why would you do that?” He breaks the kiss, holding you by the small of your back. “Where did you even get a bat from?” 

“That dick led you out here just to jump you. I heard him in the halls. I wasn’t going to just let him,” you roll your eyes, brushing his bangs from his eyes. “I told you it felt weird.” 

“And the bat?” Eddie repeats, looking where it's laying on the ground. 

“I’m a girl in a small town,” you state like it should be obvious. “It’s called self defense.” 

He snorts, “hot.” You playfully punch his chest, making him laugh. He quickly grabs your hand, bringing it to his mouth to kiss our knuckles. “So, I make you happy, huh?” Eddie grins slyly, cocking an eyebrow at you. 

“Very,” you smile back, leaning in to kiss him again. Hard. Pressing into him until he’s backed against a tree, groaning into your mouth. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for weeks,” you admit, pulling at his bottom lip with your teeth. Lovingly swiping it with your tongue at his hiss from the action. 

Suddenly your back is against the tree and Eddie’s hips are digging into yours, the bulge in his jeans leaving nothing to the imagination as to whether or not he’s believing and enjoying your words. “I told you I wanted to marry you when we were kids,” he rasps in the small space between your mouths. “You coming to me soaked and asking for help, even as a ploy I’d accept it if it meant you being in my life again. I never stopped wanting you, princess. Ever.” 

“Good,” you reply, claiming his mouth again, Eddie’s hands gripping your hips. You moan when he kisses down your neck, biting at the crook and your eyes roll back. “Eddie,” you whine, trying to spread your legs for more friction. He shifts, his thigh pressing between your legs, rubbing beautifully against your clothed pussy. It’s not enough and you whine again, “Eddie, please.” Every pent up feeling you’ve had for the last month ready to burst at the seams. 

He chuckles against what’s surely a purple mark on your neck, “right here?” Eddie teases, licking your abused flesh, nipping his way back up. “Can’t let me take you home first?”

“No,” you say once his blown, brown eyes fall on your face, “I can’t. I need you, Eddie, please,” you gasp. Breathing becomes harder the longer his thigh digs into you, sparking flames deep in your core. 

“Right here in the woods, huh?” He asks, a shit eating grin plastered on his face. “Maybe Jason was right,” Eddie chuckles, cupping you where it aches, “maybe I did corrupt you.” 

“Good,” you moan, grinding against his hand, “I’m yours to corrupt, Eddie.”

Eddie’s eyes darken further, pupils widening and getting hazy, “that’s my girl.” His fingers undo your button and zipper before yanking you to him, pulling you back towards the picnic table. Pushing you down face first onto the wooden surface, he drags your pants and underwear down in one swift motion. “Look at you,” he tries to coo, but it’s so full of lust that it’s raspy and thick, “so wet for me already, princess.” Eddie kisses your spine, making you shiver, “last chance,” his hands rub your ass. 

“Please,” you croak, eyes burning, needing him inside of you right now. Groaning a guttural, “fuck,” when his tongue dips inside your dripping cunt. “Eddie,” you gasp, him eating you out better than you’ve ever felt before. The long licks and the way he pushes his tongue as far as it will go to tease at your clit. It’s intoxicating and before you can beg for more, two fingers push inside you and you keen. Hips bucking at the pressure against the bundle of nerves deep inside. 

Your moans turn to a mewl, Eddie nipping at the back of your thighs, his hand cracking over your ass. The sting shoots white hot jolts of electricity through you, an orgasm beginning to warm you from the inside out at a startling rate. Kissing your ass, you feel Eddie smile, “you taste so fucking good princess. So fucking good. God,” he groans, “and you’re all fucking mine. Aren’t you?” His fingers move faster and all you can do is moan and nod, thighs shaking with the need to come. “Aren’t you?” Eddie repeats with another slap to your ass, wanting an actual answer. 

Like he isn’t taking away your ability to form proper thoughts let alone understandable words. Huffing your breath, trying desperately to speak, “y-yes, yours,” your gasp, his tongue joining his fingers, flying you over the edge. Wave after beautiful wave slamming into you in quick succession. Had Eddie not had his fingers inside of you, you’d have slumped right off the table. “I’m yours, Eddie,” you groan when he removes his fingers, half hearing him undo his own belt and the slide of his pants. 

“Good girl,” he soothes the spot he’d smacked with loving strokes of his palm, spitting into his other hand. A whine escapes your lips feeling the head of his cock glide against your pussy. “Ready, princess?” Eddie asks, tapping your cunt with his dick. You think you say yes, you’re almost certain the word came out of your mouth. All you really care about is that Eddie heard your consent and his dick slams into you completely. “Fuck, you’re so tight, baby.” 

A groan shifts to a whine when he slowly drags himself out of you to the tip, sliding back at the same pace. “Eddie,” you whine again, trying to push your hips back to make him move faster. The heat in your core burns at a dizzying rate from the surprising intensity of the leisurely roll of his hips. But his grip on you is sure, you’re completely at his mercy.

“Look at that,” he gasps out, doing it over and over. You can only imagine that he’s just watching himself disappear inside of you and enjoying it immensely. “So pretty,” Eddie moans, thrusting harder, but only just. Still pulling out till just the tip of his cock is left inside you and ramming himself forward. The pace punches moans from your chest and has your eyes roll back with every deliberate jab to that sweet spot. 

“Ed- fuck!” You cry out, his control of teasing you or keeping up with his own pleasure snaps along with his hips. Eddie holds your hips hard and rails into you harder. Thrusting with abandon and the coil inside of you winds tightly. Threatening to break at any given moment. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you moan repeatedly, eyes blurring with lust. 

Eddie fists his hand in the back of your hair, yanking you up to his chest, “that’s right, let it all out, princess.” He wraps a hand around your middle, trailing his fingers down to circle around your clit. “I wanna hear how good I make you feel,” Eddie bites at your neck, sucking what has to be a constellation of marks on your skin, his thrusts not once faltering. “Come for me, pretty girl.” 

His words, his hands, his cock, him. Eddie flies you right over the edge of your orgasm. The coil snapping so hard you feel your pussy spasm around him and do something it’s never done before, even when you’ve played with yourself. You cry out, screaming a moaned, “Eddie,” as your cunt gushes around him. A tear falls from your eye, overwhelmed with sensation but Eddie holds you close, keeping you grounded with an orgasm infused smile on your face. 

He doesn’t gentle you through it, his fingers never ceasing their toying with your clit, “you’re gonna come for me again,” Eddie moans in your ear. You’re nearly overstimulated, but oh so addicted to the feeling of his dick inside of you that you couldn’t care less. You’d come as many times as he’d get you to. “Then I’m gonna come inside my pussy, understand?” 

“Please, please Eddie, fuck,” you moan, your cunt clenching around him with a vice grip. You want to meet his thrusts, but you’re too lost in the perfect pace he’s set that you hadn’t even noticed the all too familiar tingle creeping up on you. Thighs shaking, you hold his arm, the hand in your hair snaking around to a light hold on your throat. Another grunted moan in your ear from Eddie is all it took for you to fall apart again. A breathless scream as your pussy squirts around his cock once more. 

“That’s my girl,” Eddie’s grip tightens around your throat. His fingers finally leave your sensitive clit alone to hold you steady, thrusting a few more times until he shoves himself inside. Eddie lets out a moan, spilling himself deep inside, warming you from the inside out. “Fucking hell, I love you,” he pants, peppering your neck with sweet kisses. He carefully helps you back onto the table top, your hands propping you because your legs are far from stable. 

Your mind is blissfully quiet, only caring about being in the moment with Eddie. You’ll deal with the thought of doing this in the middle of the woods later. Right now, you just want him. Eddie pulls out from your sore pussy as gently as he can and gingerly pulls your pants back up. Kind of pointless considering they’re pretty much instantly soaked from his come leaking out of you. But that’s okay too, you like the feeling. You turn to face him, finding he’s already got his pants pulled up too. 

Reaching out to hug him, Eddie does you one better, scooping you up into his arms in a bridal carry. “You okay, princess?” He asks, kissing the top of your head when you tuck into his neck. 

“I’m okay. Some water would be great right now though,” you mumble, the pure scent of Eddie mixing with the woods around you is better than any aromatherapy out there. “And food. God, and a bath.” 

Eddie chuckles, bending to grab your bat from the ground, “good thing I have a cooler and some snacks in the van. Think that’ll be enough till we get home and I can make you something?” 

“‘S perfect, Eds,” you smile against his skin, curling your fingers in the ends of his hair as he carries you to his van. “Will my car be okay?” 

“I’ll have Gareth or Jeff come get it for you.” Eddie stops in his tracks, “uh,” he chuckles. “Do we need to stop at the pharmacy?” 

Lifting your tired head, you ask, ”why,” heavy lidded eyes barely focusing on him. 

“We didn’t use a condom,” he states, “and I definitely didn’t pull out.” 

You laugh, thumping your head back into his neck, “Eddie, my parents controlled every aspect of my life, you really think they wouldn’t put me on the pill?” You resume playing with his hair and he begins walking again. “I would’ve stopped you otherwise,” tugging his hair lightly you giggle, “it’s more than okay, Eddie. Just get me home so we can eat and take a bath together.”

“Coming right up, princess,” his smile is evident in his tone and he kisses your hair again. 

Part 2

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #stranger things 4 #stranger things #Match Writes

[fleursbending]

𝐈 𝐁𝐄𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐁𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : sully!gn sibling x neteyam/sully family

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : grief is bittersweet and you can only hope your deceased brother can see how far you've all come.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : UHMMM... who would have saw this coming HELP. in my avatar renaissance?!?! based on this gut-wrenching tiktok yup. readers gender is not specified, it just implies you are a sibling of neteyam and the rest of em. i didn't know whether or not to add my old taglist due to how long it's been but enjoy this rusty writing ig...not proofread btw!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : talks of the effects of grief / battling it and overcoming it, neteyam RAHH, angst with a little hurt comfort at the end.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 600 words

there were things you wished neteyam could have witnessed, while others…not so much. 

you're eternally grateful that he wasn't physically here to witness the darkness consume your dear brother, lo'ak. or to see tuk deflate at the mere mention of him, cowering away in the comfort of your home. her boisterous self simmering away in the wake of grief. 

he wouldn't have approved of how you were coming to terms with things either. he'd scowl at you, whacking the back of your head - only to get a hiss in return. 

you could hear the echoes of his laughter being cloaked around you, it was like he was still here.

he indeed was. 

in the pull of the tides, the crystal cerulean waters that engufed at your lungs whenever you remembered him. and the oceans that surrounded you, that too. 

the very few trees that were littered around awa'atlu. even the colour green made your heart waver, a pain that you've grown to abhor simmering in the depths of your soul. the forest was all that shimmered in your gaze instead, a younger you and neteyam playing at peace.

peace, what a sought out yet fickle thing. that wasn't something you really believed in anymore. that evaded your beliefs the moment neteyam took his last breath and was handed over to eywa.

you were even angry at her too. eywa this, eywa that. what sort of great mother was she really if she couldn't use her force of life and grant it towards the people who deserve it the most.

neteyam deserved to live. he deserved to bask in their victory. to feel the safety and tranquility of finally getting away from the wrath of the sky people. instead all that's left of him is memories in objects and stupid little things around them. 

a sigh escaped you as you watched over your siblings cheer and run around each other from beneath where you hid up in a tree. 

this is what i wish you could see, neteyam. that's what you wished to say to him now. yet you hope he does see how far you've all evolved and come, from wherever he is now. 

if only he knew how proud you were of him, you didn't say that enough while he was still alive. it is still sheltered in your mind as one of your biggest requests. 

a stick suddenly invaded your vision, smacking you right in the forehead as you subsequently lost your footing and fell down from the tree. 

"tuk!" you growled at her antics as lo'ak howled in laughter. 

"got ya, i knew you were up there!" she only smiled in return, grasping your hand and tugging you along with them. 

a sudden gust of wind blew through your hair, making you look up at the tree where you once were. warmth filled you all the way through. a soft smile graced your face as you turned and followed your family.

neteyam's legs swung back and forth as he sat down by the spot you once occupied. a reminiscent action that would occur back when they were dwellers of a certain forest. he could see it now, little versions of his siblings reigning havoc and creating mishaps. 

content washes over him, acceptance.

he bites back tears then, bottom lip wobbling as he sees your figures move further away from him. he speaks out then, something that no-one but the souls who also similarly lost their lives would hear if they really wished too. 

"i knew they'd be okay! ah, i feel so proud. thank you, eywa…"

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

⤷ feedback and reblogs are always much appreciated ! feel free to ask through my inbox if you would like to join my taglist. ♡

(i can't believe i actually wrote something.. outta nowhere too)

#junie's library 📚✧.* #avatar x reader #avatar angst #avatar the way of water #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam x sibling!reader #sully family #sully family x reader #atwow neteyam #atwow spoilers #atwow angst #avatar #lo'ak sully #tuk sully #avatar fanfiction

[nyrasbloodyclover]

parallel lines (canon!aemond x modern!reader)

a/n: i couldn't come up with how aemond ended up in our world, but i didn't want to use standard stuff like the multiverse or idk (you get what i'm trying to say, i am too lazy, basically)

also, this was soooo fun to write please someone request part two

Aemond was not of this world, that was very much visible. His clothes (that suited him very much) completely stood out from the things people normally wore now,his hair was beautiful but unusual, platinum blond, almost reaching his waist, and the sapphire eye that replaced his lost one looked perfect on him.

Long story short, he didn't belong here. His world was of dragons and family dynasties. But, since he was stuck here (for god knows how long) I got to show him the beauty of the modern age.

"What can you even do here? Everything looks the same," he said, thinking of my street and all of the houses. He didn't like that they were built beside each other.

"The beauty of architecture is gone, as far as I can see. You claim to be making a progress and talking about future, but if your society continues to exist like this, it's going to ruin itself."

"Aemond, please don't rain on my parade right now. It's so much fun showing you all the new things in my world since I know everything about yours."

He furrowed his brows, "What parade?"

I smiled for myself. "Nevermind. Do you think Aegon is a nihilist?"

"Your philosophy makes no sense to me. And I think the whole concept of your so-called nihilism is very much stupid. How can you say that you are a nihilist if there is nothing and you believe that nothing really exists? If belief doesn't exist, how can you believe—"

"Please stop and follow me." My head started to hurt from his many many MANY arguments about everything.

"What is this? You know I already told you I don't like your room. Why do you decorate your walls with these gruesome pictures?"

"It's not gruesome, I already told you—"

"And why is there a picture of my brother beside your bed? How does it look so realistic? Are you a witch?" he said with wide eye. I didn't explain to him how printer works yet.

"Stop being so dramatic. I wanted to say— I already told you I keep photos of my favorite TV shows on my walls. Your brother is there because he's very much my type." Not that I am Team Green. Nyra for the win.

"You want him as a husband?" He asked like it was the most impossible thing someone could say.

"Something like that..." It was different speaking about fictional characters you like with your friends than with said character's BROTHER. I could say the most unhinged things with my best friend but I had to restrain myself in front of him.

Aemond was smart, he quickly grasped the whole concept of the modern era. And he was well read too. So when he told me he was bored, an idea came to me.

"Here," I took his hand and led him to the corner of my room where I kept all my books. The large shelf made him smile. He probably had way bigger library at his home, but this'll do for now.

I was happy that he liked my idea. "Can I?" He gestured towards my books. I nodded, as exited as he was.

"Why are they so colorful?" He frowned. I wasn't sure if there were many romance novels in Westeros. Or fantasy. What even was fantasy to them? Guns and women's rights, probably.

"I have classics too. They aren't so colorful," I picked a couple from the bottom of my shelf. "They could help you understand our world better."

I handed them to Aemond, his gaze hypnotized. He probably read most of the books in Westeros, that they bored him. This was something new, something he hadn't seen before.

"Who is Dorian Gray?" I heard him ask. My smile grew wider.

"He sold his soul to the devil for eternal beauty. But his sins began to show on his portrait, representing his cursed soul."

"I think my mother would've liked this."

"Maybe, but look at this one." I showed him my favorite. Frankenstein. "I think you should just read it and tell me what do you think."

After a couple of hours, a whole season of The Walking Dead, and five diet cokes, he finished reading my favorite book. Then the discussion began.

"So what you are saying is that the Creature's actions are justified because Frankenstein is the real monster?"

"Yes. Exactly. Frankenstein made something—Someone and refused to take responsibility. The Creature wouldn't have done all of that if Victor showed him some love. Like a parent. Murder is obviously wrong, but Frankenstein abandoned the Creature. And it yearned for love. Things would've turned out differently if Frankenstein had been there for his creation."

"I still don't agree. Just because our parents don't give us love doesn't mean we get the right to go around and murder people."

I almost wanted to laugh. "You're the one to talk."

He turned his head, almost breaking his neck, "Excuse me?"

"Oh don't play all nice right now. You killed Luke! And for what?" I said, accusingly.

"It was an accident!"

I think we argued until 4am. We couldn't sleep even then, so I switched genres. It was a bad idea.

"Give me that! You're certainly not reading Penelope Douglas!" I chased him around the kitchen, trying to snatch the book from him. And I mean Punk 57. Not trying to be rude, but reading that made me lose brain cells. And I didn't want to explain to Aemond what a vibrator was.

"You'll become stupid! Stop reading that! Do you wanna be stupid??" I said, running around the kitchen table, trying to get to him. He was reading it while avoiding me.

"Are you calling yourself stupid?" He said with a chuckle.

I groaned in frustration. He was so annoying.

He, fortunately, dropped the book after it's third chapter, saying he didn't get the whole point of high school. I agreed with him.

So I gave him Edgar Allan Poe's collection of short stories while making noodles and cookies. The sun started to rise.

"My classmate said he looks like Hitler."

"Who's Hitler? Another person from your modern era I should admire?"

"Please forget I said anything." I reminded myself to shut up.

It was funny how Poe confused him.

"What is this?" He said after reading The Tell-tale Heart. "Why did he hear the heart beat under—"

"His own guilt made him insane," I said, frowning while trying the cookie dough. It was too sweet, I loved it.

I could see him concentrate while reading The Black Cat and completely change his face when he switched to Poe's poetry. I knew he would love it.

"I think Alone is my favourite so far."

"Mine too. But everything he wrote just resonates with me, you know?"

"Even the Premature burial?"

"Especially the Premature burial." He gave me a once over after my comment and I went to get the food.

Aemond hated noodles, that was certain. He almost spat them out, claiming to be too spicy. I rolled my eyes at him. They weren't even homemade.

I gave him one cookie and I could see that he liked it, but he found another way he could annoy me.

"How do you keep all of your teeth while eating this? The sugar is going to poison me."

"It's not, trust me." I chewed my cookie. "I think you should start reading Tolstoy next and then switch to Kafka."

#hotd #hotd fanfic #aegon targaryen #daemon targaryen #hotd x reader #aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond imagine #prince aemond #aemond smut #aemond fic

[trashlama]

YAN!FUTURE!DONNIE X READER!!

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

Heeeeeeyyyyy guess whose back!

This is a part of I guess this series of one shots I got going on. →This post can explain more←

This is the image I used for Donnie in this one. ↓

Art isn't mine but the design is radical!

Sorry this took so long. Honestly I almost didn't post it cause I didn't like how it came out. Like I kept trying to fix it to how I like it buuutt, this was the best that I could do. I might try rewriting it or somethin'. I was just trying to change it up buuutt, I suck. Did my best with the proof reading. Probably could have tried to proof read it more.

Honestly this fic is pretty dark. Originally was darker.

Please no minors, 18+ only!(There's no smut or anything sexual, just a lot of technically triggering elements)

The meme in this fic is not mine I just found them on Pinterest and they were too good.

Read the creator's notes below for more!

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

Humming computer fans and diligent typing filled the silent void in the poorly lit room. If not for the obscured ominous glow of the various monitors littering the labatory you would've believed you had gone completely blind. Having already lost the vision on your right to the slimy pink tentacle bastards who transformed your planet into the living Hell on Earth.

Guess religion was right about something. At The End of Days the devil came for the damned. And in spite of your mother's faithful beliefs, there was never a savior to come swop away the righteous to the selective pearly gates of the Heaven she had mindlessly prayed to. She was wrong. Her savior locked her out.

There would be no salvation. Not for anyone.

Instead for the first thirteen years after the Krrang's invasion you suffered. Everyone suffered.

Shit hit the fan and it splattered like a chocolate pie in bad clown gag.

Overnight the world you had grown up in changed for the worse. Blind to the way society crumbled and turned into a Mad Max film. Unaware of the great loss. Naive and young you weren't prepared for the grotesque violence that replaced your boring mundane life that you had taken for granted.

How you wish there was a way to go back.

Return to days where your only worries were filling out job applications to move out of your mother's abode and getting into a good college. Begging whatever deities listened to accept you to one of the variety of schools you had applied for. Preferably one more than five hundred miles away from the run-down neighborhood in the Bronx you lived in. You've always wanted to travel the country and college opened up that opportunity to do so. Had everything gone according to plan you would've started your first semester that following fall.

Though it wasn't meant to be. Instead you spent that lonely winter, grieving

" (Y/n) "

At the call of your name the chain that hung from around your neck clanked as a single (e/c) orb snapped out of its routine day-dreams to look towards the owner of the tired deep voice that had called to you. It was Donatello. Said ninja turtle kneeling at your side next to the cot you both shared.

Within the nest of sheets you retracted from the curled position you had been laying in on top of the bed spread. A multi-paterned stitched quilt gifted by one of the softshell turtle's brothers— you forget who; rested at your feet, unused. Protecting thin (skin tone) skin from the piercing cold was a worn pair of faded PJs that consisted of a dark green long sleeve with fluffy grey plaid bottoms. The odd attire didn't bother you in the slightest. When living in the apocalypse fashion hardly matters. If it was usable it was wearable.

Despite of your efforts to block the aged mutant out by focusing your lone (e/c) gaze on soothing else. The Large cold hand of Donatello's petting the top of your head was all your traumatized receptors could focus on. Three lengthy jade digits combing rouge strands of unkept (h/l) (h/c) hair away from their position in your face. Wandering fingertips skimmed over your missing right eye. Playing with the white medical eye patch that kept the old wound hidden. Had this been seven months ago you would've already been trying to bite the technological General's scared appendage off. Though now at this point you just let the mutant do whatever. You didn't care.

The same regard was held when the purple clad turtle observed you. Anything and everything that flashed across your face was cataloged by your analyzing capter's dark narrowed stare. A common occurrence that never faltered in its repetitiveness.

Exhaustion dominated the aged jade complexion of Donatello's. His expression would be read bored if not for the controlled obsession that lurked in pools of night.

You always did like his eyes. Even when they were hidden behind the dual frames perched on his snout. One half a traditional prescription lens the other a crimson infrared optic that provided extra assistance to the current wearer. Like a moth to the flame you were drawn to the night sky he held in those dark pools.

"You're wasting the food Mikey brought you" the softshell flatly chastised. Those same magnetic dark eyes that had been locked with yours turned away momentarily to retrieve something from beside him. The tattered greyish purple cloak he wore tied loosely around his sturdy shoulders draped forward revealing the silver cybertronic mechanical substitute for his left arm. A necessary loss for the cause he dutifully worked for.

You hadn't respond to his comment.

For a moment you began to sink back into your land of memories if it had not been for the scrapping metal of the fork against the plate that was now in the purple bandana wearing turtle's grasp. Stabbing at the rations that the commissary passed out earlier that day. At least you're assuming it's day. It's hard to tell when you never leave the underground base, let alone the prison of Donatello's lab that doubled as his quarters.

Back in reality something moist pressed against your bottom lip.

"Eat."

Robotically you obeyed.

You learned a long time ago that starving doesn't work. It was this or the feeding tub. At least this didn't hurt your throat. The ache in your esophagus from the experience lasted for weeks after. Bile threatening to rise if you focused any longer on the nightmarish memory.

Up till the plate was cleared the mutant continued to feed you. Picking at the dish's portions until there was nothing left. After which the adult ninja turtle placed the cutlery to the side before taking a corner of his faded cloak to wipe away the food residue left around your mouth. Repeating the same method with the plastic cup that sat precariously on the table to the other side of you next to the cement wall.

For a moment his calculative narrowed gaze stared at you before deciding something.

"...I have to go work on the faulty pump in the filter for the hydroponic system in the Agriculture Unit later...." Thick brows frowed together in an unsure manner upon his purple-clad forehead as he continued. ".....would you be interested in joining me for the endeavor?" The aged ninja finally prompted.

You didn't respond.

Had this been seven months ago you would've replied with an immediate yes. Not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Back then you would've thought somebody, anybody, would help you.

But if that were the case you would've been free already.

It wasn't necessarily a secret that you belonged to the purple bandana wearing brainiac. On the contrary it was a well known fact amongst the inhabitants of the base. It was just an unspoken topic. An issue that the Commander and the rest of the generals much rather sweep under the rug than to confront.

You learned it the hard way.

You had managed to get away somehow after Donatello first claimed you. Before the chained leash that pooled around you became a permanent fixture. In its place there had been a small amount of leeway the softshell gifted you. A fragile trust you didn't bother to strengthen prior to your attempt two months into your captivity. Maybe things would've been different.

You had told Donnie you were just gonna go to the commissary and get them some lunch. Claimed you were trying to be a nice, good partner. You didn't want to disturb the important work you were so proud of him for. Like a termite at Home Depo he ate it up. A bashful smile stretched across his jade complexion that was burnt red.

Playing the serpent who tricked Adam, you slithered from the technological garden of paradise. Departing with a false display of affection. Pride filled you from the phenomenal performance you gave.

Taking flight to the wind you ran down the Resistance headquarters hallways. Without meaning too you lost yourself around the twist and turns of unfamiliar corridors. Your limited vision and even less knowledge of the section's layout not being of much aid to your mission. Especially since prior to your imprisonment you hadn't ventured to this area since it was restricted to Resistance officers way above your ranking.

Though your plan was to run into someone. Anyone who could help you. You were gonna rat out that purple techno creep. He needed to pay. You were fed up with this stupid apocalypse.

Eventually after sprinting down the halls for God knows how long. You found your self face first into the plastron of General Michelangelo.

"Wwhooo! Slow down little missy! You're gonna give this old man a scare!" The greying box turtle joked even though you weren't very much younger than him. Catching your charging figure easily between rough moss palms. Out of breath you began spewing your story. Begging the mystic mutant to help you get away from his crazy purple coded brother.

"Oooohh, so yoouurr (Y/n)..." The youngest general gathered. Aged face scrunching up in a contemplative way, as if he was thinking. For a moment you had thought maybe the mutant turtle knew who you were cause somebody had reported your missing presence. Realized that you had been stolen by one of the very leaders they worked under. Unfortunately that was not the case.

"Yes! I'm (Y/n)! Your brother Donatello, he—"

"Said that if you got lost to return you to him!~"

What.

It was too late to retreat. You didn't even have the chance to react before the orange clad General had you on the ground. Wind punched from your lungs by the sudden force. Mouth mimicking a fish out of water as you gasped for much needed air. Next thing you knew your hands were bound behind your back by the same orange bandana wearing mutant you sought aid from. Kicking and screaming as the moss green Hamato sibling dragged you back to where you had started.

Entering the lab Michaelangelo greeted his flabbergasted older brother. Sporting a wide cheshire grin as he released his grip on you to only then in the same motion push your unbalanced wobbly stature forward caching yourself on Donatello's chest. Leaving shortly after with some sort of fucked up quip you couldn't hear past the pounding in your ears. Heart jackhammering painfully against your ribs. The beat too powerful for any other sound to break it's dominating rythem.

Were you about to have a heart attack?A stroke? You couldn't tell. You didn't think people your age had them.

Once left alone the white hot fury you had expected never came. No beating. Nor any dismemberment of a limb. There were no threats made for your dire transgression. No shouts or screams of possessive anger. Only unnerving still silence.

Somehow that was worse.

You lied. You tried to leave. You made a scene with his younger brother only for said orange clad sibling to drag you back like the dog who got out.

The first ten–fifteen minutes you both just stood there. There were no excuses nor pleading from your part. Just utter overwhelming suffocating quite. The jade and purple tattooed complexion of the General's who stood before you was drained to match snow. Face displaying a composed, conserved expression to anyone who was looking in from the outside.

Unfortunately for you it was always Donatello's dark eyes that gave everything away.

Hurt. He was undeniably wounded by the injury. You broke the thin veil of trust he gave you. You could have done whatever you wanted. As long as you didn't stray far from him. Stayed and supported him. It was all he wanted.

The softshell was so happy when you forged that lie believing the act to be true. Believing that you cared about his health and work. Being kind and supportive enough to trek and retrieve both of your guys' lunch. Except upon his younger mutant brother's arrival the fantasy he was living in was broken. It was all a lie. You deceived him. Betrayed the tempered trust that two of you shared. A thin string you willing snipped.

Saltwater streaks poured down in silent bunches as the aged ninja turtle lowered his head. He really thought you had loved him as you whispered sweet claims from soft deceiving lips that kissed his heated cheek a farewell. Departing with that smile that made his heart race. Donatello was hurt. And so the turtle did the only thing that would hurt you just as much as you had hurt him.

Had you known what he was going to do maybe you would've fought harder than you had.

No words were exchanged as the mutant scientist tied your jittery limbs to your paralyzed figure. Plastic white ties zipped painfully tight around (skinned tone) appendages. Though fear hadn't taken it's full course until the softshell began to secure a thick fabric around your head, blinding you. Finding the immediate endless world of black frightening.

"Please— don't do this— I-I'm sorry!" You plead as large cold hands slide a set of what you assume are noise canceling buds into your ears. You couldn't catch your breath. Your heart wouldn't still itself as it fought for space within your ribcage. "Please! I— mphmfh!"was all you could cry before lastly a gag was stuffed into your teriffied jaws. Based on the texture of the rough fabric you deduced it was most likely an old gym sock from the clothing bin. The worn garment scratched at the roof of your mouth making you taste cooper.

Donnatello hadn't planned to use this method this early on but, this was a lesson that needed to be learned. He was going to deprive you of your senses. Leave you lost just as he would've been without you. Maybe then you'd understand.

For some time you were just scared shitless. Frightful of the purple coded general's unknown intentions. Was he gonna torture you? Kill you and keep the body? The imaginary list was much more scary than the actual first quarter of the punishment . Thankfully nothing happened. The turtle left you be. Probably just watching you from his typical spinny chair from in front of the large monitor dominating the room. The motherfucker probably felt like Batman or some shit sipping on his coffee as you the Joker— fucked around in the holding tube.

When the endless darkness started to pick at your already aggravated anxiety you had tried to force yourself asleep to escape the void. However you found the effort quickly fruitless. Trapped without sound or any background stimulation aside from the limited range of touch at your disposal made the task feel impossible. Dissolving lines between real and what was not becoming harder to differentiate with every passing unknown second.

Attempts to keep your sanity felt futile in spite of efforts to keep the screws forming coming loose. Clawed (skin tone) palms and curling toes only did so much. When all else failed you felt only one thing could be done. You need to feel something. Anything. You couldn't do this anymore. The scratches in your palms did not suffice.

Doing what you felt was your only choice in your spiralling panic. You began to throw yourself around across the lab's tile floor. Using your upper body and knees you inch worm around the room. Purposely banging yourself into anything and everything so you may injure yourself. Feeding your starved receptors with whatever painful sensations you could produce.

Donatello was quick to remove the suppressors once you really started injuring yourself. Most likely calling it when the various wounds littered your (s/c) skin began to form. Following the path you had squirmed eyes like La Brea tar pits found speckles of crimson decorating a variety of the objects in his workspace. As if a baby crawled around repainting his lab with dots of red.

What a pain. Couldn't you have just accepted the punishment like an adult? Now he was gonna have to clean up this mess later. But alas just as many great minds of science had taught him. There was always a price to be paid for results. Maybe he should've just thrown you into solitary or made a modification or two to your Achilles tendons.... Next time.

Cold hands without delay discarded the ear buds and spit soaked sock. Your chest was still rising too fast. You were gonna puke if you stayed any longer in the dark. Though once the blind fold was discarded the softshell turtle's concerned expression was the first thing you saw. The sight of another instantly calming the bees stabbing your stomach lining. A flash of worry glimmered in those pools of ink. Only for the emotion to be consumed by the sticky black tar that lurked beneath.

"Did you learn your lesson?" The purple tattooed turtle questioned softly as he scooped your zip tied bound form into his mix matched arms. Combination of flesh and steel cradling you as he maneuvered towards his cot. Donatello was aware that you have one too but, recently the color coded general had been considereing just having you sleep with him. It'd save him space.

"I doubt it." he chided with a small grin that didn't match his eyes as he laid you down. Tucking you into his barely used sheets.

You didn't bother to request for him to remove the plastic bonds as exhaustion dragged you into the realm of slumber. Senses finally relaxing thanks to some stimulation. Allowing the phantom hand caresse the curve of your cheek as you drifted away.

When you awoke your injuries were bandaged and the plastic that had restrained you was gone. In the zip ties stead was a steel collar and chain hooped around the deadbolt installed in the cool tiled floor of the purple brainiac's lab. The same device you wore to this present day.

"(Y/n).... (Y/n)..."

"(Y/n)....."

"(Y/n)"

Oh no you got lost in your memories again didn't you? Based on the softshell's expression, your answer would be yes.

"(Y/n)... I think you should come with me when I go to the farming unit. I think it'd be good for you ....and maybe we'll even see Leon and Casey Jr. " Donnie soothed. His large cold hand returning at some point continued to comb the wild flyaways that tried to elude his threading jade fingers.

You didn't care. You bobbed your head. Listening but, not particularly agreeing nor disagreeing to anything as you went along with the general's wishes.

°°°°°°

In the hallway you and Donatello walked side by side. Your collar and chain were gone. Left behind in the lab due to the bondage being bolted to the floor. Not very mobile. Which in turn left you shackle free for the trip. Seven months ago you would've already tried to attack the turtle like the wild dog you were. You had been.

Now the tamed rescue, you leapt and barked without hesitation when commanded.

Like a good pup you didn't stray from your master's side.

Traversing through the base with the lumbering mutant was a quiet affair. No one bothered the two of you as the purple clad genuis led the way.

Here and there the technological general would make small talk by commenting about certain functions found throughout the headquarters along the short journey. Explaining uses of faculties and tech that had been constructed long before you ever stepped foot in the Resistance headquarters.

Long before you ever met the softshell who kept you prisoner in his room. Like a toy a spoiled child didn't want to share.

Pushing open the floppy doors to the Ag unit; bright UV rays burned your sensitive retinas that grew unconditioned to direct sunlight due to the dark room you were trapped in on a daily. Although unlike you, Donatello's dark narrowed stare remained unfazed by the bright light. Not even a stinge of discomfort upon disciplined matured features.

Artificial warmth even if false still felt soothing on your cold (skin tone) skin.

How you missed the real thing.

Missed the stupid picnics your mother would force you on. Laying under shady emerald trees in the smothering New York summer heat under a bright blue sky. Pouting as you watched your mother and brother played on the playground. You used to think those family outings were a waste of your time when you could be hanging with your friends or studying. Be anywhere but with them. How foolish you were.

A small frown laced your lips as you recalled the more peaceful days.

"(Y/n) this way" Donatello's voice called from in front of you. At some point having grabbed your hand to pull you closer to his tall stature as he escorted the two of you through the rows of growing produce. The tips of his long purple bandana tickled your nose but you made no complaints.

"Donnie over here!"

Onwards he directed you along.

Off in the near distance was the blue clad Commander. On his shelled back was a raven haired child that looked no more than nine.

"Oi! Casey Jr can you please be un bueno niño(a good little boy)!" The leader begged as the afro mentioned brown-eyed boy tugged at the long tied strands to his azure mask. Tighting the fabric painfully around his head. Giggling at his guardian's torment. "Nah! This is so much fun el anciano(old man) " Casey cheered, showing off a wide chipped tooth grin. A recent cosmetic development much to Leo's jargon.

Back and forth the two went as you and Donatello approached the comedic duo. The softshell grown a small grin on his normally uninterested expression.

" Thank Gram Gram you're here Donnie! The pump to the filter finally said capoot! And—"

"Yeah I know that's why I'm here." The jade colored turtle cut off his Commander.

Leonardo didn't mind his brother's injection. Smile still present upon olive skin.

"Alright-o dear brother-o! I'll leave you to it."

As the two siblings continued to chat over the needed maintenance, the raven haired boy leaning over the lumbering leader's shoulder stared straight at you. Eyes like teddy bear plushies bore into your being as they watched. Wide and impressionable. Brown judging spheres.

You could feel the bugs scuttling under your skin again.

"(Y/n)..., (Y/n) are you listening?"

Breaking from the losing staring competition you were having with the nine year old. Knowing dark eyes like night drew your attention back to the mutant who was cradling your hand between his own odd pair.

Once the scientist was sure he had all of you here he repeated his directions. " (Y/n) I want you to hangout out here for a little while I work. The pump requires more attention than I had initially thought..." Jade eyelids closed for a moment as the mutant exhaled his stored breath. " ...if you need me you can ask Leo. He had said he and Casey had some things to do here for a bit anyways so he doesn't mind watching you."

You didn't care. It was just nice being outside that damn lab in general.

With the nod of your head Donatello allowed your smaller hand free from his mix matched grasp. " I'll be back soon. If you get too hot tell Leo and he'll take you inside to cool down." The turtle further explained. It was like he wasn't sure if he could depart from you. Even if he was only temporarily leaving you under his twin's supervision. He still didn't like the idea of not having you beside him as he worked. However the space in the room with the filter was limited. Although Donnatello would prefer to have you in sight. Genius does take a little finesse and he always performed best with space.

With one more glance the softshell turtle turned and left. Walking towards the small building far off in the corner of the massive underground green house.

Once gone you were left standing there. Unmoving like a puppet without it's puppeteer.

You guess you stood there for too long cause at some point the Leonardo approached and rested his palm on your clothed shoulder. Probably making sure you're still there before his olive palm spirited away.

Hands very much like Donatello's. Too much like Donnie's. The touch made you shutter. You hated it. You hated the jade turtle who did this to you.

Based on the Commander's look you could tell he wanted to ask if you were good. Though the question would be pointless when the answer was as obvious as the dirt that coated the thin fabric of your eggshell colored slip-on flats.

"Sensei why is that weird girl that General Donnie brought only got one eye? Is she a pirate?" Casey Jr inquired not aware of the offensive statement he constructed.

The blue clad leader flicked his retainee's forehead. Lightly punishing the child as he chastised the raven haired boy for the rude question. "Casey Jr that's not how we talk about people. Especially ladies. If you have a question you ask them politely. " The retainer informed. Dark onyx eyes too similar to that of his brainac twin's slid back to your cemented figure.

You were waiting.

With an awkward grin Leo proposed that you join him and Casey Jr on their check up on the Agricultural workers. You didn't respond, just nodding to whatever the aged ninja turtle had suggested.

Around the large farming area that had to be as big, if not bigger than old New York City's Grand Central Station. The red eared slider led you and Casey Jr around as he performed leader duties. The task not being that tedious if it wasn't for the raven haired kinder who wouldn't leave you be. The orphan kept asking too many personal questions for your taste. None of which you responded too. Though that didn't mean it stopped the nine year old from chatting your ear off.

For what felt like forever Casey Jr went on about, everything. There wasn't a single topic he stuck to. Bouncing from asking about how you knew General Donnie to do you always wear pajamas? What was your favorite food? Do you have any parents? What's your favorite game in the rec room?

The kid was gonna be the death of you if not the UVs that were starting to roast you. The faded winter sleeping attire you wore not necessarily the best outfit to be clothed in while under the artificial rays. Though you didn't complain. Didn't want to miss this opportunity to be outside of the technological General's lab.

You weren't ready to go back to the darkness. Not yet.

A single (E/c) colored orb found itself focused on the sudden opportunity presented.

You didn't have to go back as long as you did this right. You could be free. You couldn't fuck this up again. Not again. The anxiety of the looming punishment sat in the back of your mind. Giggling. A child-like tone mocking you for your thoughts of freedom. Reminding you if you escaped something worse could happen. Would happen.

Blood trickled down the (skin tone) surface of your chin. You had accidentally chewed your bottom lip to ground beef with your nervous tick, again.

Using the right sleeve of your pajama shirt you wiped away the oozing crimson fluid.

"Are you okay (Y/n)?" Casey's high but worried voice broke you from your scheming thoughts.

Looking down at Casey Jr's baby checks that had been holding a wide chipped smile instead thinned out into a tight frown. Wide brown orbs innocently peered up at you with concern.

For a moment you didn't reply.

Looking past the apocalyptic born child observing the interaction between Leo and the worker he spoke to. Gageing how much longer you had before the Commander returned from the discussion.

" I'm fine... but, ....do you think you could help me with something Casey? "

°°°°°°°

When his softshell twin asked him if he could watch (Y/n) while he worked on the hydroponic filter pump. The red eared slider was not gonna lie, he was not looking forward to the task. Already having his own gremlin running a muck the last thing the blue clad Commander wanted was a creepy-ass robot following them around.

However whenever it came to Donnie and (Y/n) being involved in the same situation there was hardly room for argument. Leo was the leader of the Resistance he swore that he'd do his best to help end this apocalypse and to do so he needed a functional base. That entailed having a controlled food supply, functioning weaponry, dormitories, facilities— the works. If anything was to go down. The blue bandana wearing mutant only has one reliable individual who could repair, design, modify— you name it. In less time than a whole team of engineers and mechanics he could whip up— combined. Only Donnie could do it. It's cause of the afro mentioned scientist and his inventions that the Krrang hadn't taken them out yet. The aged blue bandana wearing turtle wasn't actually sure how long they could fend off the pink tentacle armada without his softshell twin.

The thought keeps him on edge sometimes— what if the turtle passed or chose not to use his gift the way he does. They'd be screwed in the long run. The turtle imagines it would be similar to that of ant colony walking into a spider's nest. The carnage would be unsalvageable. They'd have to use the last resort.

He couldn't afford for shit to go sideways.

And sometimes if that meant sacrifices... for the greater good so be it. It was something the mutant leader wasn't proud of.

Leo isn't even really sure when the purple clad mutant even met (Y/n) or how. Donnie kept mostly to himself. Never straying far from his lab and a working coffee machine. So the fact the caffine addicted nerd met someone, let alone a girl. Truly made the phenomenon a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes.

He knew what he was doing when Donnie made his ultimatums. It was (Y/n) or no base. The softshell mutant was aware the kind of game he was playing. How it would affect everyone. So many would be lost because the adult ninja turtle wanted to throw a tantrum. Leonardo was ashamed but, it was necessary. He had to give in to the mad scientist's demands. The olive skinned mutant would like to say he had no choice— But he did. And he chose to keep the Resistance alive rather than allowing you to be free. He couldn't. Donnie wanted you and so you were the purple clad General's. There was no room for negotiations. The softshell was always stubborn like that. He played the odds in his favor. He'd let the whole base crumble if it meant he couldn't have you.

And for the last year, that was that.

Leonardo knew that Donatello was keeping you in his lab and that at some point over the last twelve months the workspace began to double as the jade turtle's quarters as well.

Only discovering the new development when visiting his purple color coded brother one day. The blue bandana wearing leader doesn't remember what he had gone to his sibling's work space for but, once inside he found the usual cluttered layout. However off closer to the far wall in the direct line of sight was the (Blonde/Brunette/Raven or Scarlet Haired/ Etc) tribute his brother had demanded for.

This had been when the (e/c) eyed woman still had her own bed. Though at some point after your escape attempt that had been thwarted by Mikey. He remembered because of the presence of the steel restraints that you typically wore when in Donnie's laboratory.

In the corner you were laying down. Hands obviously bound behind your back. The (h/c) haired captive probably scratched her neck raw again. His theory only confirmed upon closer inspection. Beneath the steel collar a dressing of white gauze. Though that wasn't the only injury. Like a Christmas present you were wrapped almost head to toe in the cotton bandages. Most likely caused by other attempts to break free from your bonds which backfired. Resulting in Donnie just further inhibiting your mobility.

Sometimes he doesn't understand why the softshell turtle did what he does. If he loved you, why did he let you hurt yourself like this? The technological General's plan was to rid you of your will. Like the mustang in stables he was gonna break that need to be free. You would be his. The aged purple coded mutant wouldn't accept anything less.

It was creepy how his sciencey twin doted on his feral captive. How even when discussing the condition of the base the crippled mutant still gravitates towards your curled up figure. In spite your attempts to chomp off his jade digits the Donnie still continued to glide his fingers through (h/c) strands. The action was bizarre to the red eared slider. He couldn't relate but if this kept the softshell from throwing the headquarters into the destructive hands of the Krrang. So be it.

Which brings Leo back to the current task at hand. Watching both Casey Jr and his brother's captive as he did his patrols of the agricultural production. He needed to start getting a feel of the ratio amount of crops so he knew how to plan for the Resistance's future. Winter was gonna be coming soon and scavenging in the snow was not an easy feat. Especially with pink tentacle freaks and the assimilated around every lurking corner up on the surface.

Leo was sure that this was gonna be a pain in the shell however to his surprise he found some entertainment out of the one sided conversation Casey Jr was having with you.

Regardless of the lack of your response, the raven haired boy kept bombarding you with rounds of endless questioning. Like twenty-one questions but, with more like five hundred-fifty-five questions. It was hilarious. Many times as he was communicating with his subordinates he would over hear Casey Jr spout something random. Comedic prompting caused the mutant leader to muffle his chuckles on a few occasions. The action earned him a raised brow or two from a couple of agricultural workers.

Everything was fun and games, until it wasn't.

Leo had been strolling down one of the many select rows of dirt walkways onto the next location he needed a report from. He had been listening to his live comedy show when he noticed the lack of quips from his adolescent charge. That's when he peeked over his broad shoulder, only to find nothing but the dirt path beneath his feet. Casey Jr and (Y/n) nowhere to be found.

That's when suddenly shit turned into a real life Lou Jitsu movie with a plot twist that kept the viewer at the edge of their seat. Except for Leo this wasn't a Lou Jitsu movie. He fucked up. Shit wasn't just gonna line up and all his problems would be solved. No. Hot Soup he had to solve this himself. The Resistance Commander gripped the inside pockets of his loose fitted beige pants. A small amount of anxiety rose at the possible implication of the duo's absence meant.

Now the blue clad mutant was aware he was the sharpest tool in the shed but he knew some things. For example, you wanted to leave. Casey Jr knew how to leave the base. Leo taught him in case of emergency if the red eared slider himself or someone else wasn't present to assist the child. Said afro mentioned charge wanted you to respond to his pestering. And the Resistance leader was distracted by the comedic routine and his patrols to notice the disappearance of the two-man comedic troupe he had been chaperoning.

The grown ninja turtle knew what you were doing. If his hypothesis was correct—

You were trying to use Casey Jr to escape.

The blue bandana wearing turtle internally scolded himself for his stupidity. He knew you wanted to escape. He shouldn't have let his guard down just because of your meek unresponsive domineer and his humorous charge.

Donatello was gonna kill him if he didn't find you before the purple clad mutant was finished repairing the pump. Which at this point was any minute.

Taking a deep breath of air Leonardo calmed his startled nerves. The mutated Commander had no reason to stress. He could handle this easily. Reminding himself that he taught Casey Jr how to flee from the base. If that truly was the case this retrieval should be a walk in the park.

Cursing his luck under his breath the olive skinned turtle dashed off in the suspected direction that you and Casey had traveled. Unaware of inky orbs following his brother's retreating figure. Ignorant to the irritated displeasure that burned within the tary pits.

°°°°°°°°

As a kid your mother the ever devoted follower— used to warn you about making deals with demons and wicked imps. They'd offer whatever you wished for just a simple price before snatching away your soul. Never would you ever reach the kingdom in the clouds with her and your brother Ethan(I know so creative). Now adult, you knew that stuff was a crock of shit— but as a starry-eyed child with all the hopes and no crushed self esteem, you believed it. Though now as you traversed through disgusting sewer waste you can honestly say that it was a possibility. How else did you end up in this mess? You rolled the dice with the jade devil and now you couldn't pay.

"(Y/n)? .....Were you even listening?"

Without even realizing it you drifted off into your thoughts again an occurrence that only seemed to become more frequent the longer you stayed in that base. In that lab. With the purple bandana wearing turtle who betrayed your trust.

Hopefully after this you wouldn't have to worry about that mutated swindler ever again.

"Sorry.. I was just thinking about something...could you repeat what you said again?" You asked glancing down at your miniature guide, a tight smile presented on your (skin tone) face. It's been a while since you had to play nice.

It was selfish but, you had no other choice. You'd never have this opportunity again. You only had one way out. No one else was gonna help you. Push came to shove you were willing to do whatever it took to flee from the purple clad demon who wouldn't leave you be.

" Dios miós! I-iii aaasked why you're tryinna' to leave this base? Isn't everyone like, tryinna' to get in the base not out? " The doomsday child inquired. Emphasizing his question with a dramatic arched brow and one big questioning eye. The expression very animated. The kid likely picked up the look from a old salvaged comic from the Resistance headquarters' communal library.

Not prepared for the sudden insightful line questioning from the nine year old who up until now had been just asking whatever seemed to pop into his head.

With a forced grin you replied. "You wish." Teasing the now pouting child before continuing. "Though if you must know. I'm gonna go see some family." You lied releasing a tired exhale as your sole (e/c) orb looked around the seemingly empty canels that Casey was accompanying you through. Claiming that he only knew the way based on the look of the surroundings. How he tells the difference between one gross wall from another gross wall slightly boggled your head. Though if it got you out of this cement prison you didn't care.

For a moment as the two of you walked side by side the raven haired child peered up at you with a squinting gaze as he absorbed your answer. Another cartoonish action that made the corner of your lip slightly curl.

"Hmmmm... Alrighty! I can understand wanting to see your family. I lost my mother when I was young but, Leo and his brothers always make me feel right at home!" The young child perked as he grinned up at you with that wide chipped grin of his.

You missed this type of interaction. No fighting or an obsessive purple bandana wearing turtle lurking. Just two normal people just having a plain conversation. No commands or shifty deals. Just one person leading the other to the long awaiting freedom you've desired.

These interactions with the teddy bear brown eyed boy become more challenging with each quip the child spoke. Insects were drilling into the flesh under your skin again. Burrowing into the empty casket of your missing soul. Thriving on what is left of your sanity as they scuttled around in the memories you didn't want to face.

Somehow peering down at the chubby cheeks and scruffy black hair of Casey Jr's that didn't resemble Ethan in any way— still made you think of your deceased younger sibling.

He had been only eight years old he was the first to go out of your happy family trio. It had happened when the Krrang had first opened their portal. Neither one of you were prepared for the earthquake like shake before the ceiling of your mother's apartment collapsed and crushed the two of you under crumbling rubble. When you came to after pushing crumbled drywall from on top of yourself and searching for your younger sibling. All you found when you searched through broken pieces of your childhood home was blood. You couldn't lift the interior support beam off of where you had presumed Ethan was. The steel was far too heavy and your palms were too coated in the surrounding sediment to be able to lift the remaining pieces. You couldn't do anything. Unable to fulfill the role of the older sibling.

For hours you bawled as you had tried to wait for your mother's return. She had been at work when the Krrang attacked. You never did find out what became of her. You always did hope that she got away and somehow was doing well. Even if the reality is she most likely got assimilated or killed. You still always prayed she was doing good.

You just wanted to see them again. Go back in time and re-live the moments you carelessly spent. Fights and words you wish could be taken back. Reclaim wasted opportunities that you'll never have again. How you wish you could tell them you loved them both one last time.

"(Y/n) were here."

At the sound of Casey Jr's squeaky voice your lone (e/c) orb found presented before it was a waterfall of sludge that spilled over into a thirty-five foot drop. Leading down into what appeared into a bay of the same icky substance rushing past your soaked flats. An

With a cheeky grin the raven haired boy pointed down into the pool below. "This is it, the end of the line for me!" The boy quipped before continuing. "I can't go any further with you but, if you keep following that tunnel down there you should be out of the sewers in no time!" Casey finished with a smirk arms crossed over his tiny chest as he explained the directions. Obviously proud himself for remembering his Sensei's words.

" Thanks... " You grinned awkwardly. Not particularly fond of the idea of swimming through god knows what.

"Goodbye Casey, ...thank you for showing me the out." A small smile grew on your face as you looked back at the nine year old only to see the cause of your nightmares standing silently in the background. Glowing optic reflecting in the shadows like a beast prowling the jungle.

Suddenly the spacious catacomb you've been traversing through didn't have enough air. Your chest clenched tight around the squishy organs encased in your ribs.

"(Y/n) are you alrig—"

"Casey Jr stay back!"

It was Leonardo, already at his charge's side holding back the nine year old from advancing any further into the situation that no longer included them. Donatello already approaching forward with the same air of confidence he always carried. Expression studious and sharp. Although the purple tattooed turtle did not display it— he was fucking furious.

"I should've known you would do this to me, (Y/n). " The General dryly chuckled as he edged closer. Every bold step forward the purple bandana wearing ninja took, the closer your shaking legs stumbled towards the slimy edge of the trash filled waterfall. In his three fingered grip a pair of steel cuffs. The kind you see in the movies except from the look of the bulky things. The ones dangling from Donatello's right hand were real.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck— Things were moving too fast. Your rampaging pumping muscle was going to explode. Panicked breaths filled the range of sound your anxiety allowed at you honed in on the jade demon in front of you.

" I should've never made that deal with you... you lied to me. You knew that my mother was dead— YOU KNEW!" You cried as your lone (e/c) eye flashed back and forth between the cracking edge you stood on and the softshell who stood before you. "You fucking lied to me! You played me just so I would stay! I FUCKING HATE YOU! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

Panting you learned forward, (skin tone) palms resting on your knees. Never breaking eye contact with the aged turtle who although appeared collected was everything but. Narrowed black eyes filled with so much anger. Though still allowed you continue.

"I... -pant-....will never.. -pant- ..fucking love you. You were a mistake. Any feelings I ever had for you were a mistake. I wish I never had met you. I wish I fucking died when you rescued me on your stupid scrap run those months ago..." Straighten your stature you gave the infuriated jade turtle one last look as you smugly looked him dead in the eye.

"I wish whatever fucked up God had chose to taken General Raph, ....had instead killed you..." You calmly stated. Laughing as you continued. Silent tears finally falling out of your last good eye. " Hahahaha— the only reason— you are soooo important enough to still be alive is because your older brother decided to give his life for all of you sick fucks! I pity his sacrifice— maybe at least if he was still here he would know how to handle shit instead of giving into an overgrown spoiled brat like you!"

Silence. No one made a peep. The only sound that broke through the thick tension in the tunnel was the rushing sound of the sewers water that at this point has successfully drenched the legs of your muck covered plaid bottoms.

In the background the fearless blue bandana wearing Commander's emotions were all laid out on his nonexistent sleeve. He was hurt, pissed, and over all he just looked disturbed with the overall conversation.

Meanwhile Casey Jr shielded his face into his Sensei's plastron. Quite sobs choking the boy as his tiny hands griped onto his Commander's beige pant leg like his life depended on it. Terrified of the situation that didn't make sense to the child. The sight made your heart ache just a little bit.

Donatello didn't say anything. He didn't do anything just bore holes into your soul. You had opened your mouth to continue berating the purple clad asshole who's kept you in his fuckin' lab for the last year. Forced you to sleep next to him. Locked you up like a dog when you tried to run away.

However the jade mutant beat you to the punch.

"Shut up. Don't you dare even say another fucking word. "The aged ninja seethed, closing the space between the two of you in a blink of an eye. His left metal palm shooting to grasp your according bicep, tightening his grip around the tender flesh.

" I don't ever want to ever hear you mention Raph's name ever again. You don't fucking deserve to say it. You're so ungrateful and pathetic it just makes everyone around you laugh at your stupidity. Are you really trying to leave the base? Me? For what? Just so you can go fucking kill yourself out there? I saved you. I'm supporting the human race even when all the facts say I shouldn't. That I should've given up on this stupid apocalypse alooong time ago but, I didn't. I had wanted to when we had crossed paths for the first time. When I rescued you, I changed my mind. Why can't you just be grateful!?!?" Donatello cried as he pushed you from the tunnels edge into the roaring murky waters below.

°°°°°

Beep...beep...beepbeepbeep

There she is.

The softshell will admit he lost a bit of his composure back there. He shouldn't have pushed you from that high of a point but, you just made him so mad. How dare you bring up Raph. You weren't there. You don't know what it was like on that battlefield. There was no winning, only retreat. You don't realize how much he wishes everyday that the one who had perished was himself not Raph. You don't realize. You're always so naive. That's why Donatello was here to keep you safe. It was for your own good.

There.

In the shallow waters was your water logged figure. Obviously you were out cold based off small rise and fall of your chest.

With a sigh, Donatello slid the projected screen from the monitor on his cybertronic arm. Deactivating the tracker that was implanted in your abdomen. Lucky for him had installed this little insurance a long time ago after one of your many fits just for this type of emergency. Finding the gadget handy in locating you both times. Not having to rely on his red eared slider twin's amazing capabilities.

Trekking into the shallow water the purple clad turtle reached down and retrieved your knocked out figure. Not caring particularly much about the condition of his loose dark purple pants that soaked up the surrounding water fairly quickly.

With a strong exhale of air the technological general retreated back to his base chastising you under his breath along the way. Once there the softshell would insure that you wouldn't have another opportunity like this again.

Like a true scientist Donatello learns from his mistakes and he'll keep trying until one of his punishments clicks. It's not like you won't give the techno demon the opportunity to do so. Not that Donatello minds.

After all where would science be without trial and error?

¶¶Creator's notes¶¶

Wazzup!

You guys made this far so you deserve the scoup on the next one-shot will be...

Drum roll🥁🥁

Yan!Future!Raph x Reader 🎉🎉

I don't have a picture for Future Raph but, if you guys have any good pictures saved hit me up I'm always open.

I have some ideas on how I want to do it. Though I could also turn it into a post movie sort of deal. Where it takes place after the events of the ROTTMNT movie. Thouughhh it's up to you guys. One person has already voted for some future Raph so we'll see what I come up with.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere x reader #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt x you #yandere rottmnt #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles x y/n #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles x reader #yandere rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise donnatello #rise donnie #yandere donnie #yandere donatello #rottmnt post movie #future fic #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt x reader #yandere tmnt x reader #yandere tmnt #tmnt x y/n #tmnt x you #male yandere x y/n #male yandere x reader #tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #tmnt au

[lythea-creation]

The Price Of Family - Draco Malfoy x sister reader

summary: (f/n) isn't exactly a perfect heir to the Malfoy family. How will Draco deal with his sister sticking out?

warnings: reference to abuse

word count: 944

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

Requested? Yes

--------------------

Being a Malfoy was not coming naturally to me.

For starters I despised the whole pureblood supremacy shit. Not even talking about the dark lord.

At school I was an outcast. Most Slytherins stayed away from me due to my beliefs which I did not hesitate to declare. A lot of other students avoided me because of my brother.

Luna was one of the only people I truly came along with. Maybe because she was the odd one out as well. I loved that about her though. She was true to herself and never questioned being herself. It was inspiring honestly.

But there were also somerismatic and cunning twins who I liked to hang around with. It was always fun to be with Fred and George and they did not care about my family. They saw me and not just my name.

Draco and I used to come along well when we were younger and life easier. But he preferred impressing our father over me nowadays and we were drifting apart the more time passed.

The year was over sooner than I had wished for.

I was sitting in a train compartment with Luna and Neville, enjoying our conversation. At the same time I could not help but dread the end of this ride. The summer break was the worst time of the year for me.

So I hesitated to say goodbye to my friends to join the family reunion that was already taking place at the gate.

Our parents were delighted to see Draco. They were all smiling and talking. Sometimes I wondered if I should just not return home one day to improve all our lives. But that would feel like running away and everything inside of me was clenching at the thought of giving up when it was getting hard.

Reluctantly I stepped over to my family who actually greeted me properly.

Our mother let us talk about our school year the whole way home. But as soon as we arrived I escaped into my room.

I unpacked my stuff immediately to get it done quickly. But that did not work out as I was interrupted by Draco bursting into my room.

“I've wanted to talk to you for a long time now”, he proclaimed.

“You can't just come into my room like that”, I noted.

“Of course I can and I just did”, he insisted. “The Weasley twins? Seriously? Do you want to ruin our reputation for good?”

“Just get out”, I shot back.

“I won't. You may not care about our family, but I do. I wasn't exactly excited when you started hanging out with that Ravenclaw weirdo, but this is a different level. Why do you keep interacting with blood traitors?”, he ranted.

“This is stupid”, I mumbled, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“The future of our family is a joke to you? When did all of that even happen? You used to hang around the right people”, he recalled.

“Oh, you mean your friends? Our rather the kids of our parents' friends? They're narrow-minded and total jerks”, I stated.

“What did you just say?” He growled, getting dangerously close.

“Drop the act, Draco! I'm not scared of you”, I enlightened him.

“You should be”, he warned me.

“You're weak, Draco. Always have been. You only do what everyone around is expecting you to do”, I proposed.

My brother clenched his fist before snapping his fingers and that way calling one of our house elves. “Go and get my father”, he ordered.

“That's another thing. You all treat the house elves like shit. I just don't get it. They're doing so much for us. A little appreciation and kindness isn't too much to ask for”, I remarked.

“What is going on here?”, our father questioned.

“(f/n)'s going insane. She's spending all her time with blood traitors and wants us to treat the house elves better”, Draco revealed.

“Is that so?”, father reassured.

I gulped. Honestly I was slightly scared of him because he was always afraid our family honor may be at risk.

“It is”, I confirmed.

“Alright then. I've given you enough time to redeem yourself. It's time for you to learn the hard way”, he announced.

“What do you mean?”, I inquired anxiously.

“You're going to spend the summer with your aunt. Maybe she can put you back on the right path”, he considered.

I could feel all color drain from my face. “You mean aunt Bellatrix? Are you serious? She's a maniac”, I reminded him.

“Don't talk about your family like that! Apparently I failed to teach you properly. Maybe I was too soft on you. I'm sure she won't be”, he assumed.

“No, you … you can't do that”, I protested.

Now I was scared to no end. Facing my father was one thing, but my aunt. That was a completely different story.

“I'm taking your wand in the meantime”, he decided.

My wand flew his way with a flick of his own before I could react.

“I'll contact Bellatrix immediately. You don't get to take anything with you. I'm sure she can provide you with the essentials. Draco, you will watch over your sister until your aunt arrives to make sure she doesn't do anything reckless”, he ordered.

“Yes, father”, Draco replied obediently, although he was looking a bit paler than before as well.

My mind was racing to find a way to get out. Suddenly I wished I had just run away after all.

--------------------

What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments or asks!

#harry potter #draco malfoy #sister reader #draco malfoy x reader #angst #female reader #luna lovegood #fred weasley #george weasley #weasley twins

[w98pops]

TW: SUICIDE MENTION, VIOLENCE

i knew i said i would take a little break, but ive been mentally declining a lot and drawing my silly guys is my way of coping. I never actually properly drew Wendy from 2301, so im filling in the blanks.

I'd like to think of her as a person who never actually... grows up. She just kinda gets taller and more sad over time. Wendy was always very vulnerable but cheerful, and House kinda groomed her into a serious and politically aware person, still unbelievably vulnerable but a viable subject nonetheless. I always had this problem with writing her relationship with another canon character, no one realistically would give a fuck about her and her opinions. Sure, maybe Arcade will pity Wendy because she's "stupid" from a neurotypical point of view, but other than that, she doesn't have any weight in any political conversation that's going on in the Mojave. So I made her really fucking stubborn. Annoyingly so. Wendy just... gets the job done. She's resourceful, efficient and very easy to manipulate. A perfect fit for a House's courier, I think. She doesn't question his orders, she does not care for consequences as long as she has House as her cover (a trait she inherited from her step-father) and she's sometimes sociopathic and numb to voices of empathy. Not in a "edgelord murder killer girl" way but more like. She doesn't see people who hurt her as humans. A coping mechanism that would probably be the end of her, sometime in the future. I mean, she did confront Benny and got really physical. There was no way she could've win a fight against a grown ass man, and Benny did beat the shit out of her, but in the end he was the one with a cracked open skull. I just like to think that her pure madness and helplessness was enough to fuel her mind and overpower something she had no chance against in the first place. SPEAKING OF CHANCE. That's why I think she would totally get along with Chance, the Khan from the comic. I don't really put a thought about how he would've survived or joined her, but they're pretty much soulmates. They have very different backgrounds, personalities, literally anything, but Chance recognises her rage. Her inability to do what's right and the constant fight against unfightable (?) circumstances she's facing every day. I'd like to think he's autistic too. As a treat.

So yeah, she's super uncertain about anything in her life, and that makes her a very useful tool in the hands of a right man. Mr. House mastefully manipulated her personality in a conventional way, taught her the secret and mysterious knowledge of "masking" and sat her down for a few years to teach her ways of the capital and created this really sad but smart and charismatic politician with no real political voice whatsoever. She's also very cute and sweet looking so yeah. He made himself a Tandi. 😭😭 Also he scanned her brains, which would totally not be a big plot point for the future.

Almost perfect, but Sharky is here too, for some reason. He's the biggest pain in the House's ass since Benny. He has a certain emotional intellect, not easy to bribe or manipulate in mental or physical way, he really fucking cares for his sister, and is very aware of the things The Big Guy does to her. See, Sharky wasn't raised by his sister, she was a child herself at that time, and his mother didn't play much role either, too busy bickering with Aletus and then later too busy drinking and fucking in Gomorrah. Sharky was raised by the Strip and the rules of Wasteland. He might not be the smartest guy alive, but emotionally he's mature beyond belief. He's very observant, empathetic and cunning person. Even tho he was mute most of his childhood because of child neglect and untreated autism, he has incredible social skills and a Yes-man in his basement he found while renovating the Tops. He has a plan. Not a good one, but a plan nonetheless.

I have so much OC material I'm ought to write a fanfic. Or a comic, idk. In my dreams, sure, but it's still refreshing to talk about my ocs and draw them, and recieving feedback and praise for my storytelling skills 😭😭😭 it means a lot. Thank you all for reading this far!!!

#fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #oc: wendy #oc: sharky

[bruh-myguy-what]

If Not Him, Perhaps Me

Hellooooooo frens! It has been a long, overdue update, but here we are! I've had so much going on but you guys consistently reminding me of how much you love the story has really helped me refresh my desire to continue the series! So I am so thankful! I really hope you all enjoy chapter 3! Also I apologize that it isn’t the best chapter I’ve written, but I promise to continue to make each chapter better for you guys :3

If you want to join the tag list, just let me know below in the comments!

Enjoy~

_____________________________________________

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Pairing- Thrawn x f!reader x Luke Skywalker

Summary- Luke finds out about you being taken by the Empire, and you have another encounter with the Grand Admiral.

Word Count- 2K+

Warnings- Mentions of kidnapping and imprisonment

__________________________________________

"What do you mean they took her?!" Luke's fearful tone echoed off the walls of the commissary area of the Flacon where Lando assisted Chewie in cleaning up the mess made by the intruders.

Han raised his voice over his brother's, "hey now! Don't speak to her that way, it wasn't her fault and you know it!" The older man appeared by his wife's side, arms encircling her protectively. "Besides, what did you expect her to do? She's pregnant!" Han quipped harshly, the blue of his eyes darkening as he narrowed them.

The young Jedi was silent for a long moment, eyes darting from his sister's face to her irate husband. "Well-I…" finally huffing indignantly, Luke growled to himself as his hands found his hips. "No…no, I know it isn't your fault, Leia." There was a loud roar from the other side of the ship where Chewbacca shouted his own defense. "No, it's not your fault either Chewie. I'm just…" The younger man moved one of his hands from his hip to rub the irritation away from his eyes, "this is my fault." Luke choked, placing his hand back on his hip. "I…I should've been here to protect her instead of leaving. They're only after her because of me."

Leia started forward and touched her brother's arm, "no, Luke, don't blame yourself," she insisted, "you can't blame yourself. How could you possibly know she would be in danger?"

"Leia's right, Luke," Lando piped up as he waltzed up to join the group, "none of us could've ever guessed that the Empire would've come to get her specifically. Though," he sent a glance toward the young mother, "I think we can all agree that it was better that they didn't take Leia. Who knows what they could've done to her and the kiddos." The grave tone in his voice matched Han's expression, Luke noticed, as he watched the slight movement in his wife's stomach.

A moment of silence passed between them all before Chewbacca growled softly. "Yeah, Chewie's got a point too. Blaming isn't going to get (y/n) back any sooner." Han huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest, leveling his stern gaze at Luke. "So, Jedi knight, how're you going to get your girl back?"

Ignoring the term he used to refer to you, Luke closed his eyes in thought. Maybe he could reach you through the force…? Maybe you weren't that far away yet and he could somehow reach out to you so he could tell you that he was going to save you. Surely you knew he'd come for you, right? Or had he really placed such a serious wedge between the two of you that you'd even begin to believe that he'd leave you in the hands of the Imperials? What with all of his stupid beliefs of 'Jedi having no attachments' and everything. He accepted that idea, he really did, but…the more he weighed it and considered the look on your face when you smiled at him, how could he ignore the feeling so deeply set in his heart. The way your eyes sparkled at him in the starlight…it just…

Resolutely, Luke opened his eyes and headed to the front of the Falcon.

"I'm going to find her."

_____________________________________________

The dim lights of the Grand Admiral's office were an inviting change to the glaring white lights that consistently welcomed you wherever you were led- though, the silence that plagued the room was hardly comforting.

"So," you spoke up as you crossed one leg over the other casually, the linen dress you still wore draping easily back down your legs, "are we meeting because you expect me to give you more information?" As flattering as it was to be so 'important' to someone so high in rank, the narrowed glare given to you from the other side of the desk was equally as irritating.

A soft smile appeared on the admiral's face, he thought your bitterness was humorous, did he? "Perhaps," he replied curtly, glancing away momentarily to grab his datapad, then returned his glowing eyes back to you. "Though I do marvel at your tenacity just as considerably as any useful piece of knowledge you could offer me." He sure knew how to use his genius to annoy people, huh? Before you knew it, the man behind the desk was now standing and making his way around to you. "I must also admit that I find your eagerness to face a Grand Admiral of the Imperial Navy with such fearlessness very…" he seemed to ponder to word for a second before continuing, "compelling."

Thrawn's full height was accentuated by the way he stood over you in what felt like the galaxy's shortest chair (now with him towering over you). "Well…" you choked out nervously, "I suppose since there is no empire, that means no imperial navy to be a Grand Admiral of, therefore the title has no real significance to me." He could be as intimidating as he'd like but you weren't going to back down now. You'd been here for what felt like a week and, with no real evidence of how long you'd actually been aboard the Chimera, you assumed it must've been as long as it felt- or close enough to it. You’d been sat in this specific seat multiple times during different segments of the day, the fear was starting to lose its luster. Looking up at him once again you were struck by his expression.

He was stoic. He was just gazing down at you.

"Indeed, I suppose you are correct," Thrawn covered his mouth with one of his hands- deep in thought as he removed himself from beside your seat, finding his new position beside one of the large structures holding the ysalamiri- or at least that's what he'd told you they were at another point in a different conversation. "I seem to be continually amazed by your astute wit, (y/n)." He was petting the ysalamiri before him, his broad back facing you so he was unable to see your confounded expression. Was he getting enjoyment from your responses? "I also find it amusing how you consider that I see you as a source of amusement when in fact," Thrawn twisted around to face you, his hands positioned firmly behind his back now, "you are a prisoner of mine, and whatever I desire to know you will tell me."

The red of his eyes darkened significantly enough to drive a cold chill to straight down your spine. Perhaps the Empire was no longer a danger, but this man, this alien, he sure was. Taking a beat to regain your composure, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. "A-Alright," of course, your voice would fail you now, "I understand that you are my enemy and the things I know might be crucial to you, but-"

"Tell me, (y/n)," Thrawn interrupted as if you weren't even speaking, "why are you traveling with Skywalker and his crew if you are as useless as you say?" Thrawn truly seemed curious about the answer as he made his way back in front of his desk, towering before you, awaiting your response. "What was your profession before you were a 'freedom fighter'?"

Cocking your eyebrow in challenge, you wondered where your sudden boldness came from after he was so forward about where you stood in his eyes. "Why ask if you already know?" You hated talking about the life you had before you joined the rebels. The Empire wasn't all bad, the idea anyway. You actually preferred the organized structure of the government over the scattered nightmare of the rebel cause, or even the Republic you'd learned about prior to the Empire. The current ‘New Republic’ wasn’t doing much better either. But, after meeting Luke- after he saved you- it was more of a loyalty to him than to the cause. Upon seeing that Thrawn was still silently waiting for your reply, you huffed. "Fine. I was an artist. A painter. I sketched or painted nobles, moffs," your voice trailed off and the admiral hummed in understanding.

"Admirals as well, I assume," it was less of a question and more of a statement. Of course, he knew and, rolling your eyes, you nodded.

"Yes, admirals as well. Though I suppose I wasn't in the Empire whenever you rose to command because I've never met you before now." You knew you hadn't, his warm red eyes would have been burned into your memory.

Thrawn nodded in agreement, "indeed, I myself would have remembered you." He rounded the desk to return to his seat. "Though I have seen your art before," the man commented as a hologram of a painting you'd made years prior to your disappearance materialized between you. "It is quite astounding. I enjoy art, myself. I believe it can give insight into a person, or people." He clarified coolly and you noted how intently he was studying your art. The scrutiny of one of your pieces made your cheeks warm in embarrassment, you'd not had anyone ever really stare at it the way Thrawn seemed to.

Curiosity struck you, "w-what do you see in my art?"

Thrawn seemed unfazed by your question, but took his time before replying to it all the same, "you despised your subject." The honesty struck you to the core. How could he even know that? He was completely correct, but…how? The dumbfounded look on your face caused Thrawn to continue, "but, while you hated the subject you were instructed to paint, you treasured the creation itself. Which I admire. Your talent is," the pause in his voice again made your cheeks burn as you awaited more of his surprising critique, "unmatched."

Too stunned to immediately thank him for his honesty, you blinked dumbly. Eventually, you nodded at his comments, "well…thank you," you whispered softly, hands suddenly more interesting than anything else.

"Have you made very many paintings since your disappearance from the Empire?" His question startled you slightly. Why was he so curious about your art? What was he trying to gain? Thrawn hadn't asked about it any of the other times you'd spoken recently. So why now?

Shaking your head in response, you figured it was useless to lie to him anyway. "No, unfortunately, I haven't had the time…or the funds to be able to continue." You sounded more distressed than you would've thought if asked about it. Though now that you thought about it, the topic never really came up between anyone on the Falcon.

The hologram disappeared, leaving Thrawn gazing directly at you now, scrutinizing you as if you were now the artwork. "No, I would presume not," was all that was said, simply.

Again, the silence retrieved its choking grasp on the atmosphere and you glanced up at the exact moment the Grand Admiral waved his hand in his normal dismissal, "you are free to go for the evening." His tone was casual yet as stern and stoic as usual, but not having the white-clad troopers come in to grab you and lead you out was…new. So, awkwardly, you stood from your seat and waited a moment, quizzically looking at Thrawn. After a few seconds of no argument from the admiral, you slowly made your way to the door, jumping only a little as it whooshed open revealing Rhuk.

"Come now, Rhuk," you heard Thrawn chide stoically from his desk, "do not scare my informant. She is," he caught your eye with a small smile, "essential." The look in his eye seemed mischievous but you weren't certain if that was something you should be worried about.

As you returned to your cell, you settled down for the night on the solid structure they called a bed on this ship. "Alright, before you get all cozy," you heard a familiar trooper voice and sighed when you had to sit back up. You weren't as annoyed with the troopers anymore, they'd actually kept decent company and most of them were kind enough.

Once fully sat up, a trooper reached through the bars and held out a larger notebook full of paper. Curiously, you reached out and took it, along with the set of pencils given to you. "W-What is this?"

The trooper shrugged, the plastoid tapping against itself with the movement. "Beats me," he replied, "the admiral asked one of us to bring it to you. He said you deserved to continue what you love, even as a prisoner." Then the trooper was gone.

Gaping at the notebook in awe, you were awestruck, silent. Thrawn gave you this notebook? Out of…generosity? 'There's no way,' you thought to yourself as you set back against the wall connected to your cot, opening the notebook. Upon the first page was a beautifully written script, reading; 'I thoroughly acknowledge that you will see this as a means to acquire additional information from you, however; I would find it regrettable if you were incapable to resume such excellent work due to confinement. I, myself, am not an artist, though I can speculate how it must feel to be suffocated by the inability to do what one loves. So please, sketch. Thrawn.'

Tags:

@blueberry-thrawn @myevilmouse @agenteliix @blackmonitor @coffeeorsomething-irl @torchbearerkyle @rebelmarylou @danger-xylophones

#luke skywalker x fem reader #luke skywalker x you #luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker #skywalker #thrawn #thrawn x reader #thrawn fanfic #mitthrawnuruodo #star wars fanfic #fanfiction #thrawn x reader x luke skywalker #grand admiral thrawn #chiss ascendancy #senior captain thrawn #if not him perhaps me #chapter 3

[ihopesocomic]

One of the reasons I like your position about your villains being evil just because they are, is because as much as it's nice to give backstories and reasons for their actions, it's always important to remember that bad people exist. People who are evil by choice. Nobody is perfect or black and white, but there are people who are selfish and proud, and don't mind hurting others, even though they know they do.

A great example of this for me are transphobic, homophobic, racists people etc. People have access to information, but they see asking for human rights as an attack on them, attack on their life and a attack on their beliefs. And I don't like to make excuses for that. "Oh, but maybe it's just a stupid kid", f*ck off, they still have the energy to go to a blog with queer creators and say shit in anonymous.

Anyway, not wanting to go too deep lol, I know that Jasper and Edge are not bigots, since this does not exist in the comic (thankfully!) But that's one reason why I think a villain being evil for "no reason" isn't bad or lazy writing. Evil people who choose to be bad deserve to be treated badly. It's always a good reminder.

Thank you so so much, anon. This is a point that we've gotten criticism for because we didn't go to painstakingly (and nauseating) lengths to give Jasper the Quickmane or Proudmane treatment and trying to make him sympathetic out of nowhere. It also really bothers me when people always try and imply that things like an abusive background and/or mental illness as a reason for somebody's awful behaviour. They can certainly be factors but having them be THE reason just rubs me off the wrong way. I apologise for sounding like a broken record at this point but it feels like that's what folks want us to do with Jasper (i.e. giving him a tragic backstory) and yeah no, that's not happening.

We're not giving him an "out" just so folks can completely misread things and mistake him for a victim. Because he's not. Sometimes people are just awful... because they're awful. Kudos to folks who haven't had to encounter folks like that irl - honestly, I'm happy for you - but that doesn't mean they don't exist for others. And yeah, your last statement. Couldn't agree more. It reminds me of when I was disappointed that we never got the backstory of Butterscotch Horseman in Bojack Horseman like we got Beatrice's and I soon came to realise that it's purely inconsequential. Perhaps he was lying about losing his mother young. Perhaps he wasn't. Either way, it doesn't matter. He used it as a means to gain sympathy and manipulate others. What also matters more is that he actively chose to be an awful person to his son and wife. And I don't think anything in his childhood would have changed my opinion of him... because I feel it wasn't supposed to with Beatrice. - RJ

#ask #ask us stuff

[harrysmimi]

New Best Friend

Synopsis: One where Harry needs help from his childhood enemy.

CW: struggles with mental health.

More of my work

Now, now Harry was not a person to have any enemies, he's rather opposite. Fun loving guy, who loves to spread kindness and swear by it. But there was one person he hates, or you can say used to hate— or even better, pretended to hate. For the longest.

Really, he still hasn't came to conclusions if he hates her or not.

By her, it means, YN.

The girl from him class, he's known her since year 4. She was two years younger than many of his classmates and himself but was smarter and brightest one of all. She was six and he was eight but she was still beating his ass in everything!

Harry's mum never compared him to any kids, he did struggled with academics, especially maths but he was just below average student with drive to do better and low self belief.

It was teacher who compared not just him but everyone in the class who struggled with their own academics.

Well, this girl was all rounder!

She aced every fucking test with at least an A or an A+, she was school girls Cricket team, she spoke six different languages (who needs to know that many languages?), she was angelic at singing, goddess like in dancing. Plus she was very fucking beautiful. All the boys, and even girls would die to talk to her. Yeah, that was a little weird. And he would call himself stupid when he'd say he didn't harbour a teeny-tiny and itty-bitty crush on her as well, he had a crush on her in year 4 since her first day at his school. But then he got a girlfriend as he grew up and got over it.

SHE WAS EVEN IN SCHOOL'S THEATRE GROUP FOR FUCKS SAKE, FOR A YEAR!

But Harry found her very weird, and not to mention rude as fuck!

All she did was, walk to school, mind her own damn business and walk, go to her dance class or singing lessons and back home before five-thirty. She hardly wanted to participate in any group projects, always requested to take on solo projects. Obviously ace them!

Harry hated that he wasn't even close to be in her compitition. Even though his mum stressed so much telling him, he is perfect the way he is!

But he envied her so much, so much so that he once tried to stick some chewed gum in her hair but stopped, because one, his mum have taught him better and two, that was very fucking gross.

With in a month of her joining his school he found out she lived right across the street from him, the house right in front of his. Both their mothers became best friends.

She alone with her mother, who was an attorney and super qualified with a PhD. No wonder why her daughter turned out to be so smart. She never failed to brag about her daughter and her grades and extra curricular.

Many times he's been on dinner at hers with his mum and sister he never saw her or met her, which he found very rude because her mum always said she had to study or she went to bed. But who cares? Her mum made most amazing food he loved to devourer. The only reason he put up with being in the same class and keep to himself was the food!

YN on the other hand always wondered why he hated her so much. Especially since he pulled out his name out of the group project with her in tenth grade. He ignored her in hallways, even though their lockers were next to each other.

YN bad the biggest crush on Harry since the day she saw him. He looked so well groomed always, with the mop of honeyed brown curls. Fluffy cheeks with dimples denting deep when he smiled even the slightest. She was big fan of his green eyes and long lashes, it made her wanna curl them and put mascara and eyeliner on his eyes. She loved how he liked to paint his nails. Somehow she would always convince her mother to take her to the bakery he worked at whenever she could so she could try and talk to him. But everytime he would just ignore her, or not come to the cash counter what so ever. YN used to get very heart broken. She already struggled to make friends and the only person she wanted to be friends with, with all her heart hated her for some reason. Reason she never new about.

He never came out like the toxic masculine little teenage scumbag of boys in her school. He was so sweet, language teachers loved h and praised him so much. He'd once helped as she got her first period and her clothes were all stained, her mother wasn't in town. He called in his sister who went to same school but was in a few grades ahead of him to help her. That was like the sweetest gesture of him, but he left as soon as his sister was with her. She ever told Gemma to thank on her behalf but she never heard from him again.

Gemma was so nice to drive YN back home that day, lend her a pad and her jacket as a cover-up.

YN really adores and looks upto Gemma, she has been the big sister she never had for her. Especially since YN had moved out when she was 18 and her mum moved back to India. She had a really big fight with her mother that day. But Gemma had helped her through so much and promised to keep to herself all their meetings and things she have shared with her.

That was the reason why Gemma would be so mad at Harry when he'd express his hatred towards the poor girl. But can she blame him too though? It was something both the kids (who are not much of mids now) have to talk through themselves.

She was already close to being a fucking millionaire at the age of 18 with the business she had started without her mother's knowledge. Just a small application she was experimenting, providing financial Services and knowledge to people in easy language. It was a huge thing when internet was at it's peak that time. She went from earning six figured a year to earning six figures a month!

That didn't seemed enough for her, she had a record deal with Warner Bros and released her first album at the age of 17.

It tipped the sand mountain for Harry when she won her first Grammys (yes plural) at 18. And four more in 2018. He was a bit jealous because his first solo album did not make through the nominations.

She was one of the biggest names amongst the entertainment industry and business community.

As of now, she's got upto sixty billion streams world wide with just two albums out. Two Emmys, and an Oscar nomination under her name of best original score. She'd made a small venture with his sister in a sustainable fashion line. And a talent management company on her own. Went to Law school, got a Law degree and practicing licence. Her success was something right out of a fictional movie or something. But she'd disappeared for some reason after her second tour ended.

He even hated how close she was to his sister. Like Gemma is his big sister, not hers!

Aa for now, she lives alone in London with her cat in her big ass mantion, in a very bougie neighbour in Hampstead. With a in house studio for herself. He hasn't heard about her mother, nor her father who wasn't much in the picture in the first place, nor he's heard any new about her from his mum or sister in last good chunk of years.

Now why Harry needed her help was because he needed to record last minute touches for two of the main songs before he had to leave for Italy for a shoot. He had his third album coming out and he needed to add more touches to his second single. There were no studios available in London, it would be a waste of time to fly back to LA and look for a studio there. Luckily he got her number from Gemma and texted her but she never got back to him, she'd left him on delivered. He headed to hers in hopes that she'd be there, he just needed to record a few vocals and send them to his producer who was busy recording with someone else at the moment.

Her house was highly secured, there were even two guards by the gate. For some reason they let him in. He parked his car in the driveway and went to knock on the door. But one of te guard approached him.

"Excuse me sir," he said, "I am sorry we let you in by mistake. May I know who you are?"

"I'm Harry, I'm, ummmm... one of YN's, uhhh..." he tried to find right words, "umm, I'm her colleague."

That wasn't a lie, he technically worked in name industry as hers. To use technical terms they are colleagues indeed.

"Ms. YLN isn't—" he was cut off when another black Range rover drove in. It was YN.

"Dave?" She got out of her car from drivers side. Harry would say she did not looked surprised or even happy to see him there. Neutral wasn't the expression he'd say was on her face. "Don't you know my number plate?"

"I apologise ma'am, the lights by the gate stopped working today." Dave, the guard said.

"It's okay, we'll get it replaced in the morning." She nodded. Dave took her keys to take her car to the garage, but after she got her cat out of the back seat from it's carrier.

"What can I do for you?" She turned to Harry, getting straight to business.

"Hello to you too," he sucked in a deep breath, "didn't you get my texts?"

"No," she shook her head fishing her phone from her pocket. "Oh, I don't check my phone after eight."

"What if it's emergency?" He got worried.

"I get calls when it's emergency," she answered.

"Oh okay." He nodded, this is awkward!

"What do you want?" She asked.

"I, uhhh, can I please use your studio for a little?" He asked and explained his situation.

"Okay," she agreed without letting him finish. Opened the door and welcomed him, "please take off your outdoor shoes."

"Oh yeah, sorry." He slipped his vans off and kept the nicely in the little shoe rack there.

Her house was insanely gorgeous from inside. Everything just screamed her. With vintage decor to the pops of every colour in the rainbow. A random small pride flag hung right in between two cabinets. A shoe case right by the door, from Gucci to Louboutin, from sneakers to sexy heels, she was a bigger shoe snob he reckoned.

He silently followed her to the first floor. On the right was her own private gym, in the middle was a small game area with a pool table and a table tennis table, a basket ball hoop and a few arcade games. On the left was her Studio.

The vibe was very cool, like a classic studio. With dark purple and wood decor, purple neon lights and sound proof walls. A separated recording room.

"If you've got to record something, there is a system inside the recording booth. Make sure to log out later." She told him before she left him alone.

Harry pulled out his phone and lyrics he wanted to record. Once he was done. He went to main room and started mixing. The desk was personalise, with an iPad, apple pencil kept neatly there, a blue Polaroid camera with a wall of Polaroid pictures. None of them had her mother involved, most of them with her producers and one her closest friend from school and rest of them of her writing or playing certain instrument.

All of them were dated, he didn't find any recent ones though.

YN was the true epitome of isolated musician. She wrote all her songs, she hardly worked with her producer, Jack Antonoff though he was mostly busy with Taylor Swift. Almost all of her songs have her in credits for everything, from writing to recording to mixing and mastering. He wondered how she did that.

As he was getting done with last touches it's been three hours he was there. Yeah, it took a very long time. But he saw YN's cat came wandering in from the sets of stairs he did not notice led upstairs from the studio. There was a third floor?

The cat jumped on his lap begging for snuggles. He'd never seen a cat do that. His mum and sister have a ton of cats and none of them like this. The pink collar with a silver tag on it with her name, Vivian, she's got those big green eyes begging for pets and snuggles as she closed her eyes and bumped her head against his hand.

"Oh hello gorgeous," he cooed to the kitty, "you are purring so loud!"

Just as he was waiting for the file to be converted so he can email it to his producer, the computer started to lag and it got stuck there. For a second he got scared that l three hours of his struggles are gonna go in vain and YN's gonna kick him out now that he's spent enough time there. Just then he heard the door open amd close behind him, a sting of cigarette filled in the room when he turned the chair around it was YN. She walked upto him and placed a bottled a cold water for him on the desk and look at the computer lagging.

"You know you shouldn't be smoking right?" He suggested.

"Just shut up and do your fucking work," she mumbled and fixed the computer for him.

"As a fellow singer and musician it was my advice—"

"I don't need any advice. At least not from you, okay? So just do your work and get the fuck out of here." She warned him before she stormed upstairs. She's had a very dreading day already, her label was giving her hard time to get her album ready and released soon or she'll face some serious problems. She's had a bad day at work as well as one of her most important clients turned down the new project. The last thing she wanted to hear was someone telling her what to do and what not to. It is rude but she doesn't have the energy for it.

......................................................................

It was eleven at night when YN couldn't take it anymore. Okay, maybe she is over reacting to the situation. He nust asked for a tiny favour right? It's nothing much! It's not a big deal to have a literal breakdown over it, right?

She pulled her phone out and called Gemma the first thing when it really went out of hands. They talked in about three months.

"Hey sweetums, haven't heard from you in a hot minute. How are you darling?" Gemma sounded way enthusiastic for her liking.

"Hey Gemgem." YN mumbled, "sorry, I was a little busy but, are you busy right now?"

"I was just planning to go to bed, what the matter sweets?" Gemma asked, worried.

"Look, I, I know how you always told me to see a professional. I, I am sorry for not listening to you earlier. I, I just can't take it anymore. I'm sorry I'm reaching out to after disappearing for three months because, because I really need someone Gemma. I just—" she broke down crying.

"Hey, no it's okay." Gemma rushed, "it's okay, I'm not mad at you love. What happened, did something happen, are you hurt?"

"No, no, I didn't do anything. I just, I just really need someone to talk to me and hold me. I don't know where to go. My mum won't talk to me. I, I just feel so alone." YN ranted, crying, "I, I just feel like no one cares about me unless they need me, or need something from me. I don't want to feel this way."

"Hey, listen to me. I'm coming over okay? You're going to do one thing for me. Throw away your ciggerate you have in your hand right now — I know you do —, go out to the backyard, okay? Take in some fresh air, I'll be there in ten minutes." Gemma assured her.

"Please, please thank you." YN sniffled, already putting out her cigarette. She hung up and did just what Hemma told her to.

It was nearing winter. Air was a bit chilly but it was all she needed.

Harry left she saw when she got down to her backyard and it all came own like a landslide out of no-fucking-where. She didn't know what triggered her but for sure she had so much shit to unpack.

The reason why she's apologised to Gemma was, she got mad her for looking after her. It was an outburst none of them were expecting. Gemma have been asking her to at least try for once to seek a professional help. Gemma never judged her for smoking, it was not bad when in moderation, but it was very bad that it was affecting on her health badly and she felt concerned for her. Since she's first started smoking when she was just sixteen, yeah it was fucked up but not entirely fucked up. It started out with just one puff then later a cigarette a week, every other day to everyday. Luckily YN had bit of control over herself with that.

At the time YN didn't felt like she ever needed help. That's what her mother said to her when she was fourteen and struggling. Therapy was not for normal people like hers. She had everything, a nice house, her own room, she went to one of the best school, did amazing in her academics, had nice clothes to wear, had all three meals on her plate which many struggle to get in the world. What was there for her to feel down and so low at times?

Nothing, she had everything one could ask for!

Yes her father was abusive of her mother and sometimes to her too that her mum had to leave, flee the country even, start a whole new life. Yes she got bullied in school for her poor English, for when her mum would put oil in her hair, her ethnic roots, but she did amazing in school, right?

Yes her mum wouldn't be home most of the time and work over time, she had to learn and cook for herself, do the house chores, also look after herself and do good in everything because all her cousins did, she had to be the good daughter, right?

Look after her mother, help her out, doesn't matter how touch or affection starved she was, she could always try to do better, right?

It wasn't like her mother did not loved her, she provided for her, she did everything she can, right?

All she ever asked from was to be a good girl, do good at school, go law school, get a nice job and then she was free to do whatever, right?

Her mother always told her she was going to be there for her no matter what, right?

But then why did she leave to be with her abusive husband again?

Never reached out to her from past seven fucking years, unless she needed money or any sort of help. It is never a "how are you?" call but always a "can you send some money?" call.

It is never a "do you need anything?" call but always a "don't you wanna ask what your parents need?" call. Not just her mother. It was everyone she knew. Except from Gemma though.

And now even Harry, reaching out to her. It added to her pile her stacked up inside her just to tipped over. Well, that really shows that people want her in their life because she's useful and useless at the same time. Like why would the person who hated her the whole time she knew him for reach out to ask and even talk about the work and weather. He must have got better things to do anyway.

She never had it in her heart to say no, to anyone!

Only thing she has ever done for herself is make herself a place where she can confide in and hide away from the outside world.

But she was all alone!

She needed a home not a house. She needed her Mummy more than anything. Yes she is 25 now, but that doesn't change the fact she still needed someone to embrace her, or, or at least give a pat on her head, tell her that she's got this and she can do it. Just a bit of encouragement was enough to make her happy.

It was tiring to find way for self encouragement. She is just a human afterall.

It is always "you should do that, you should not do that" but never a "you can do whatever you want.".

It is always, "how are you so lonely when you've got all this money?" but never a "if you need a friend, I'm here for you."

It is always "you've got to figure your own shit out!" but never a "I've got you."

It is always "don't be so weak!" but never a "it's okay to cry and feel thing!"

She felt the all to familiar, sisterly embrace she was dreading for around her as she continued to sob, "I've got you, sweetums!"

That got her sobbing like a child all over again as she clung onto Gemma.

"What did he say to you?" Gemma asked finally after she was calmed down, she waited patiently.

"He didn't said anything." YN shook her head. "He just needed help with something."

"Do you know why you're crying then?" Gemma crooned, trying to push away baby hairs out of her face.

"I don't know Gems, it's a lot. You know with Mummy, and all my friends, everyone, no one fucking cares about me. I just wanna be loved. I can't take this anymore." And she started sobbing again. "Even the guy who hates me only felt necessary to reach out to me for help. Why does no one wanna ask how I am doing? Or, or if I need a hug or a pat on my back? Why?"

"I'm, I'm so tired of everything!" She ended, with a sighing cry.

"I love you. I care about you." Gemma told her, "you know I live ten minutes away, I'm always here for you. You're like my baby sister YN. Don't say that, please."

"Look, Vivian is sat right there. Do you wanna go inside and cuddle him?" Gemma suggested.

The fluffy, chonky cat was sat by the porch. For some reason Vivian was scared of grass and he always avoided out even though everything was safe for him. Yes, Vivian is a boy.

YN was so relieved Gemma was there she did not noticed Harry was there. He just stood there trying to process everything. Gemma had stopped him when he was leaving as she'd just got there on time.

He looked at YN with apologetic eyes. Gemma helped her to sofa and went in kitchen to make her a cup of tea to help with her coughing. Harry stepped in and gave her bottle of water she earlier offered him, he'd opened it but didn't took a sip from it.

Vivian had jumped on YN's lap to give her much needed snuggles, purring her worries and pain away.

"Can I sit here?" He asked, pointing the seat next to hers. She just nodded. To be polite. "Look, YN I'm so sorry!"

"Why do you hate me so much? What did I do to you?" She asked, hugging her cat.

"I don't hate you," he shook his head, just to earn a deadpanned look from her, "I used to though. I grew out of if. I guess I just used to be jealous of you back then." He admitted.

"Why?"

"Why? Because everybody loves you!" He stressed but in a most gentle way, "I felt so little in front of you. Your six year old self was very successful at dragging my eight year old ego to the fucking ground."

"You were good at everything, you learned six fucking languages, you were in music and theatre group, you got all straight A's, you, you, uhh..." He hesitated to continue, "you were so pretty, and everyone wanted to be friends with you. I was the one with all the charm but you came in out of nowhere and stole it from me. I hate myself for treating you that way now. I didn't know you were going through so much already. I'm so, so, so sorry!"

"I was stupid. I, I still am, but I'm working on not to be. I'm sorry." He sighed, "I don't hate you, love, I never did. I was just always jealous of you. Now I know how stupid I was as I didn't wanted to grind my ass to — quote unquote — compete with you. I couldn't even if I tried to. You're so strong, so talented. Gosh, I've been keeping up you — not in a creepy way — you deserve everything good for you because you've worked so hard to get there."

YN listened to his slow rant carefully. Yeah, they were just kids but he made her feel so shitty about herself. Yet she fell in love with him when she was fourteen and used to watch him perform in his band, White Eskimo, she's over it though. He was so kind to everyone but her. She deserves better!

"You think so?" She asked, feeling pathetic to fall for whatever he said.

"Mhmm, absolutely!" He nodded. "Can you forgive me?" He asked, sheepishly, knowing that he probably doesn't deserve her forgiveness.

"No," she whispered trying to hold back another sob, "I hate you now."

She doesn't mean it. He knows that too.

"Can I hug you?" He asked, already reaching for a hug.

"No," she moved back.

"Please, I need a hug after a long confession!" He whined softly and hugged her though she acted to fight him back. If she wanted she could kick his ass, she even knew karate and kick boxing. But she hugged him back, wrapping her vacant arm around his middle whilst still holding onto Vivian. "I'm sorry, YN."

"I wanted to be friends with you." She mumbled against his shoulder, her voice soft and low, just for two of them with hints of disappointment. "But you always ignored me. Everyone was so mean to me when I was new to school."

"I didn't know that, I'm sorry." He whispered, a hand rested on the back of his head, "I wanted to be friends with you too. But I thought you were rude which is far from the truth."

"Mhmm." She nodded, "I was so upset when you pulled out of the group project. I thought we could finally get to hang out."

It took him a while to remember what project she was talking about. It was in year 8, a science project they were both assigned. Now he knows her memory is very strong but he didn't expect it to be this strong to remember all this.

"I'm sorry for lashing out on you earlier." She spoke after a moment of silence from him, gripping tighter on him. He felt so comfy and cuddly, just like she always imagined that she never wanted to let go of him. "I, I don't know, I might have over reacted."

"It's okay, don't apologise for that." He caressed her hair. "And you did not over react."

"I promise, I'll quit." She said more to herself than to him or anyone, ut was about smoking.

"Yeah? I'm proud of you for saying that." He smiled. They sat in silence for what felt like ten minutes but actually were ten seconds. "Do you want to be friends?" He asked.

"You're mean to me!" She huffed.

"I won't be."

"Okay." She agreed.

"Enemies to friends." Gemma announced her entrance, "now friends to lovers when?"

Harry pulled away from the hug, feeling the heat rushing upto his cheeks. YN seemed unphased by his sister's comment, like they both shared a secret he wasn't a part of. Hell, he was never a part of anything! She gave YN the mug of tea she made for her. It was obvious Gemma gave them both space to sort things out themselves which should have been done years ago.

YN was very, very, very fucking observant. She saw Harry shaking his head in no next to her that broke her heart just a little bit more, like it did when he pulled out of that project, or when he totally ignored her when she visited his bakery with her mum.

Gemma went on and sent YN a few of numbers of therapists she had went to but didn't work out for her, those might work out for her she said. Then they talked about everything and anything but what happened tonight until YN just passed out sitting next to Harry, so did Vivian, on top of his human Mummy.

......................................................................

It has been a year now. YN has been doing very fucking amazing, as she says. Luckily for her, she clicked with her second therapist and straight away got to work on herself. It's about a little over month she hasn't touched a cigarette.

How it started out to be a habit was still a blur to her. But her lungs were thankful of her.

About her and Harry. They were now very good friends. Went on walks, hikes and gym together, got many meals together. They shared a few friends they both chose to hang out with. YN made new friends though they were just any of her other friends.

Now it was just Harry after Gemma who's friendship doesn't feel conditional to her. Which is most amazing feeling ever!

Apart from all hanging out with friends, they'd hang out at hers. Watch a shit load of rom-coms, another thing they both share in common is their obsession with rom-coms. Tonight it was one of their random night in. YN was working on her new album, or well you can say finishing up her new album so she played him just one song out of fifteen others. This album of hers has been in making for five years.

"I love this song!" Harry exclaimed, a little loud with headphones on and he bopped his head to the music. In her opinion it was best experience to be heard with headphones or earphone on. "I'll play you Harry's House tomorrow." He offered.

"I'd love to hear it." YN agreed.

They were gonna have a little pool party at her place. Even Gemma and Anne were invited.

"Just one song?" He pouted when YN turned off the music after the song ended, "I offered to play you my entire Album!"

"But I didn't." She shrugged.

"Why? Are you scared 'cause there are songs about me on your Album?" He smirked, leaning in closer to her, hoping she doesn't push him off her balcony he let the headphones hang on his neck.

"What makes you think I would write songs about the guy who hated me for getting straight and homosexual A's in school?" She squinted her eyes.

"Don't you write songs about your enemies? I mean I would if I had any." He looked at her through his lashes, she still stood a bit shorter than him.

"Hmm, so you have written songs about me." She nodded, never breaking the eye contact with him.

"Maybe I have, maybe I haven't," he sighed softly, looking at her more intrigued by her confidence. He couldn't help but look at her mouth, she's got a rosy tint on her lips making him wonder what it tastes like. Over the past year, he'd admit his crush on her resurfaced, then he started liking her, of course more than a friend and now he is well aware that he's fallen in love with her. Their little harmless flirting, spending more time with each other than ever. It was making up for the twenty years old friendship they both could have already if he weren't to be such a jealous asshole in the first place.

He grabbed her hand gently as he leaned on the railing sideways, "can I tell you something?"

"Mhmm," she nodded.

Just as he was about to speak, they heard a car pull up in the driveway. It was Anne and Gemma, she waved at YN holding bottles of champagne as she ran inside, Anne followed her with a few Tupperware boxes of cupcakes and cookies she'd baked.

"What did you wanted to say?" YN turned back to him.

"It's nothing important for now. Let's go down." He gave her hand a gentle squeezed before standing up straight. YN was confused as she followed him downstairs.

Within half an hour Gemma and YN were drunk their ass off, drinking straight from the bottle they both shared. Singing off key to Taylor Swift. Gemma was in pool, Anne was just chilling on a beach chair seeing her daughter and her friend being total clowns drunkenly. Now they were both drinking straight vodka. And Harry was busy admiring his new best friend.

"Gemgem get out of the way!" YN warned her standing on the edge of the pool to do a back flip in the deep end. Gemma laughed being splashed with water. YN waddled her way to Gemma to hug her.

"Oi put that song back on!" Gemma scolded Harry as he pressed skip on All Too Well (10 minutes version) (Taylor's Version), that was a huge crime.

"Alright." He put that song back on.

"I walk through the door with you, the air was cold but something about it felt like home somehow and I, left my scarf there at your sister's house and you've still got it in your drawer even now." YN and Gemma both sang along, swaying in the water with their arms wrapped around each other. "Oh your sweet disposition and my wide eyed gaze, were singing in the car getting lost upstate. Autumn falling down..."

Harry sat next to his mum as the girls were busy themselves. He even missed his mother as he's seeing her after a couple of months.

"You still have got a crush on her, don't you?" Anne asked.

"No," he shook his head.

"Mhmm," Anne nodded taking a sip of her champagne, "you're looking at her like the eight year old Harry used to. I still remember you coming upto me and telling me you've got a crush on someone."

"Stop," he chuckled sheepishly.

"You were too naive to see that she wasn't rude." Anne continued, "you'd both would be great friends. Maybe even lovers eventually."

"I know, I was stupid." Harry nodded. "But we're friends now."

"Fuck the Patriarchy, keychain on the ground. We were always skipping town." The girls yelled the part of lyrics making both Anne and Harry chuckle.

"Be careful you two there." Anne called and both yelled a yeah before they began to sing along the song.

Harry talked to his mum, about everything, the movie he was done shooting recently in Italy, his album coming all together, his tour was still being added with dates. It was a lot. For him personally, though he loved to tour and travel and play shows. He was dreading this time because he's become so used to being with YN all the time during his off days, it was already feeling empty to him. Though she's releasing her Album soon too but no one knows when, she says she'll put it out herself when she feels like it.

He didn't realise it's been just ten minutes as the song ended and Without Me by Eminem started playing, it like it's been at least an hour.

"Have you told her yet?" Anne asked, resuming the talk about him and his new best friend. He'd talked to her briefly about the feelings he have unintentionally harboured for her, again, after all these years.

"No, I was going to," he shook his head.

"Oh, sorry we interrupted." Anne said, "YN's forcing us to stay with her tonight, isn't she?"

"I wish I could stay but I've got a shoot tomorrow," he said, a little upset.

He wasn't drinking because he'd got to drive back home, but he was dreading a shot or two of that vodka YN and Gemma have claimed to themselves. He had gathered all his courage to tell her finally how he feels. It's been months he wanted to tell her.

"Mum, come on here!" Gemma called.

"Hazza!" YN called for him.

"I'm good here." He told her, she made a puppy face but he shook his head in no, and just let all three of the girls have their fun.

It doesn't seem that long time since they talked things out that night, but it's been a year. She's been to his shows they've been to places on vacation during the entire year as he worked on his album. She wrote album around that time too but he hardly ever noticed her taking notes or stuff. She had just brought her guitar with her, which her mum gifted her on her tenth birthday.

His favourite time was in Italy. She had taught him how to do a back flip, in water though he needs more practice to do it on the ground. They got to go out as if they'd switched realities. There was no one bothering them. They went to wineries there.

YN even made friends with the elderly lady who lived next door to her flat in there, she spoke Italian (he found out she'd learned three more languages since they both last saw each other) too and impressed the lady. She bragged about learning different Italian dishes from her.

He would mostly go over to hers, they'd have day in, watch rom-coms, do face masks and skin care, paint each others name, she'd let him ramble in his slow tone for hours on hours without being bored. He'd also learned she did not liked to talk much, but rather give short and quick answers or insights or comments in between conversations.

She even convinced him to grow out his beard to see how he looked out. According to her it was hard to envision him like that as she's always seen him with a clean shaved fave. He'd grown quite fond of it, now that he knows she likes him with a beard. Well maybe not a full one but a stubble maybe.

They were playing monopoly (she always managed to keep him behind), they'd been playing the same game since the start of their trip and get back to it. It was more of a compitition. But all he can remember was catching her stare at him once as he was too busy playing his next move. Her gaze carried the shine of stars with it.

"What?" He asked, chuckling rather sheepishly.

"Nothing," she shook her head.

"Why are you looking at me like that then?" He asked.

"It's just..." she sighed trying to hold back the prettiest smile he's seen, "you look the same. It's just that you can grow a beard now."

"Seriously?" He gave a joking deadpan look at her attempt to annoy him.

"Mhmm!" She nodded. That made him attack her with tickles and tip the board of their game from the coffee table.

"Hey, watcha smilin' at?" He was startled by YN there, she had large tshirt on over her bikini as she crouched next to him.

"Nothing," he shook his head, "where is Gemma and—" he heard his sister puking in the bathroom downstairs. "Oh, I see."

"Mhmm, do you not want to go bed?" She asked, slurring on her words a bit.

"I was gonna go home now, I'm sorry, I've got a shoot tomorrow." He explained feeling bad. He was going to tell her, he promised to himself but he just forgot.

"You didn't tell me earlier." She said, upset, her eyes blurring with tears.

"No, no, I'm sorry. I just forgot." He grabbed her hand.

"I'll let you go on one condition." She cane up negotiation immediately, what a business woman she is!

"And that is?" He was nervous he wouldn't lie. She is very cheeky and unpredictable.

"Jump in the pool with me!" She stood up immediately, tugging onto his hand.

"No, I'm not." He said, "it's cold!"

"No it's not, come on!" She managed to drag him closer.

"YN, love, come on." He sighed. But it was too late, she'd already pulled him in the pool with her. He gasped with cold shocks running through his body, soaking all his clothes. He didn't see YN anywhere, "YN?"

He panicked and turned around, "boo!" She scared him.

"You scared me!" He scolded her.

"Sowwy." She clung onto him, resting her head on his shoulder. But Harry had his own plans now. With his hands on her hips he picked her up and threw her back in the water.

"You little shit!" She whined coming up on the surface and push him, there began their water fight.

"Stop, stop, stop." He told her as she was splashing water at him, he was doing it back.

"You do it first." She said, "stop!"

"Okay, okay, stop." He slowed down, but she didn't, "okay." He grabbed both her wrists and pulled her in. "Now who's little shit?"

"You are," she giggled, booping his the tip of his nose with her pointer finger.

"God all my clothes are wet now!" He sighed.

"You're not going anywhere, put them in the dryer, no one will come into you room." She grabbed a hold of his hand and started walk outside.

"You said you'd let me go home if I jump in pool with you," he reminded her.

"If you jumped into pool, I dragged you in with me." She corrected him. "Come on I'll give you my jammies to wear."

"You still wear jammies to bed?" He chuckled following her

"Yeah, blue ones are my favourite."

God she's so drunk but how is she walking without tripping over nothing? He's got so much to learn about her still.

"Mhmm tell me more," he urged her to talk more. He followed her to her closet, which was fairly small, smaller than his at least.

"Ouch!" And she hit her head to trying to open a cupboard.

"Oh no YN, you alright? Lemme see." He turned her around to take a look at her head. It definitely left a dent on her head, "it's okay we'll put some ice on it."

"Oh it hurts," she mumbled.

"Okay, change up I'll go het ice for you okay?" He suggested.

"Mhmm," she nodded.

He shut the door to her closet behind him and headed down. Lurking around in the freezer he found an ice pack he took it upstairs. YN had already changed into her blue jammies (just a matching set of cotton pajama shirt and shorts) and her hair was still wet, she's saton her bed with a towel on her head.

"Hey you alright love?" Harry walked up to and took the towel off her head.

"Now my head hurts." She sighed.

"It's okay, where have you kept your first aid kit?"

"In the closet, second drawer from the left." She said. He got her a painkiller. "Take this and get some sleep yeah? You'll feel better."

"Thank you," she nodded. "Oh, I kept your clothes on the closet. Forgot to bring them out."

"It's okay, don't worry about me," he assured her, "now get in and go to sleep, I'll take the sofa." He tucked her in nicely.

As YN went to bed trying to ice her head and try to fall asleep, Harry went in her closet to get the clothes. She'd picked out the same oversized (well oversized on her) t-shirt and black basket ball shorts from the last time he'd crashed in. He took the clothes to the downstairs bathroom where he took a quick shower and brushed his teeth, there were a few new toothbrushes there just for him: what YN said. There was everything set up there for him even though he's stayed just one night at hers so far.

Just as he was putting on the shorts he remembered yet another funny antiques of her.

"Shirt would fit me, but the shorts would be too big." Harry said.

"Oh," YN looked at herself in the mirror in her closet checking herself out as those were her basketball shorts, she wore them all the time. She had to get a size that would fit her bum and thighs comfortably. "Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner who?"

Harry laughed at that, "you're weird sometimes."

"Oh!" She gave him a weird look.

He still doesn't know why she gave him that look. But she's adorable so he let that slide. Just as he was about to put his phone down he got a text from YN. Asking him, nicely, to bring her some snacks from the cabinet.

YN 🧸: Hawwy can yo pls brimg ne Oreos and doritos frpm kitcjen? I wojld museld but i hsve hwad axhe! 🥺🙁

YN 🧸: amd i an hunhry! 🙁🙁

She wrote. Luckily he was able to make out what she was trying to say. He sighed putting his phone back up on the coffee table and went to get what she asked and bring it to her room. She gasped once she saw him happily and in an effort to sit up fast, she felt stinging pain in her head making her wince.

"Be careful there darling." He told her handing her, her snacks. "Someone said they don't like to check their phone after eight."

"This is emergency!" She whined, "what if I died of hunger here?"

"That's never going to happen. Please go to bed early now, you're going to be sick in morning anyway!" He stressed.

"I can't sleep," she pouted, "I dunno, my head hurts very bad."

"Oh I know love," Harry cooed and gave her a well deserved hug after hitting her head with the cabinet door. But she scooted to the other side of the bed moving the blanket aside, she patted the matress next to her.

"You wanna share?" She asked offering her oreos. Honestly, Harry wasn't sleepy at all so he joined her, grabbed an oreo from the pack.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asked.

"Got to go to work. Have a meeting at 2." She said, stuffing her face with cookies.

"Do you want to go grab coffee or something after?" He suggested.

"Yeah, we can do that." She nodded in agreement. "You wanted to tell me something earlier?"

"Not now," he sighed. "I will tomorrow, now you gotta get some sleep yeah? Got a big day tomorrow."

"Okay, can you please talk to me? I really can't sleep with a head ache." She requested.

"Of course, what if I tell you what Mitch and I did when we pulled an all nighter to write Daylight?" He suggested and she nodded in agreement again. Scooting down to rest back on her fluffy pillows, Harry lied next to her.

He didn't know it was weirdly comforting sharing a bed with her for the first time. She scooted closer to him, resting her head on same pillow as his snuggling her face into his neck, that made butterflies raid in his tummy. She had her arms tucked in between them two. He pulled her blanket upto her shoulders as he held her close him, told about how him and Mitch had to pull an all nighter, that's why he couldn't go to see her the very next day for lunch.

"You're still awake?" He noticed.

"Oh, sorry!" She realised and shut her eyes closed making him chuckle.

"Hey, what's going on in your walnut brain?" He asked.

"I don't have a walnut brain, you have a walnut brain." She sounded pissed, "but nothing, just like to hear you talk."

"That's the first time I'm hearing someone say they like to hear me talk. Thanks love." He felt warm inside on her compliment.

"Mhmm, you have very nice voice. It's very soothing." She added. "Now good night Harry." And she booped his the tip of his nose with her pointer finger before finally closing her eyes to sleep, "please be here in morning. I love you Harry."

He heard a soft sigh from and her body relax in his arms. His heart was racing as he tried to breath. She just said I love you for fucks sake!

......................................................................

Harry woke up with a dry throat the next morning to find out neither YN or him have budged from their places. She still had her arms tucked in between them, he still had his arm around her waist, she still had her leg thrown over his. He looked to the other side of her table to see the time.

9.41 AM

It showed in bold red letters on her bedside digital clock.

Harry sighed, taking in everything from last night letting himself process everything for at least a couple of minutes. Or until YN decided to turn her back to him, now holding onto his arm around her waist.

"Hey lovie, do you want to wake up?" He asked, his voice sounded much deeper and even more soothing. YN just mumbled something and went back to sleep, he reckoned she asked for five more minutes. "Haven't you got a meeting at 2 darling? It's almost 10 now." He reminded her.

YN gasped getting up in hurry, "oh fuck!"

Her office was half an hour away from where she lives plus the traffic around that time insane for some reason.

"It's okay, you've still got some time left. I can drive you." He said.

"I don't know, I'm gonna be late!" She snuggled back into him having an instant breakdown.

"It's alright, you're the boss." He assured her, "you can be late if you want to. Unless it's a meeting with a client or something."

"No, it's just a staff meeting for the next project." She mumbled, but gasped again, "does my head have a bump?" She touched her forehead where she hit her head last night.

"No you don't," he chuckled.

"My head hurts to bad, I need a coffee, I'm hungry. Fuck why did I drink last night?" She cried.

"Hey it's okay, mum said she'll be making waffles for everyone." He told her, "I can go make coffee for you okay?"

"Yeah, thank you," she hugged him instead of letting him go so he can make her coffee, "Harry you're the best."

"Thank you darling." He chuckled softly giving her a squeeze.

Like old times, Anne made everyone some waffles. Whenever YN's mum would have to stay over late for work she would have to go stay with Anne. Her and Gemma shared a room and in morning Anne would make waffles because loved them. Harry used to be jealous with all the special treatment she would het, not that he was ever neglected, he is of a territorial nature. But today Harry and YN were being nice yo each other, like they have been from past year.

He'd given her another painkiller for her headache, made her some nice warm cup of black coffee. Gemma was completely wasted still that she did not see Harry's change if clothes or she would getting under his skin teasing him.

Anne and Gemma left after breakfast, Harry stayed as he promised YN he would drive her to work. And so he did.

YN was a little bit lost the whole day. She didn't how she went through her meeting, she'll definitely have to ask her assistant for notes later. She had no plans on continuing to be in the industry after this Album so she have been focusing more on her businesses lately. Plus she had a meeting with her manager and released the first single and the entire Album out of nowhere. That was like the only highlight of her day so far.

But last night she had little to no control over herself though she tried her best. And she remembers everything, from getting wasted along Gemma to pulling Harry into pool with her, from giving him her clothes to change into to asking him to cuddle with her, from sharing her snacks with him to telling him she loves him.

The thing is, she never got over her crush on him. Especially after he went on to be such a big name, she just couldn't help but keep up with him. Bought and listened to all on One Direction albums. It was a true fangirl moment for her when she got to meet the other boys because of Gemma and now they're all (well not Harry until recently) best friends with her, even Zayn!

She didn't when it happened, she's been avoiding talking about it to her therapist. She is just afraid she's going to loose him as a friend and go back to the beginning and have him hate her all over again. She really said "I love you." to him, what a fucking idiot she is!

Oh fuck!

Oh fuck no!

She did not just just fucking said that to him.

Just as she was about to bail from the restaurant her and Harry were supposed to meet for dinner instead, he came through the door in all his glory. He looked so cosy in a baby blue cardigan, wore the same white shirt she gave him and a pair of baggy jeans. His hair looked so fluffy with a clip holding them back on top of his head. It looked like a sprout to her, she almost chuckled seeing that.

"What?" He asked and hugged her, tightly, catching her off guard but she returned the hug and earned a kiss on her head.

It was a new thing from him since a past couple of months now. He'd not miss a chance to place a kiss on her head everytime they hug.

"Where do you you were going?" He asked sitting down at a table with her.

"Was just going to call my manager for something." She made an terrible excuse which he caught bit chose not to say anything. She grabbed the menu and handed him one and busied herself in looking through it. As he was about to speak a waiter approached their table.

"Good evening, I'm Zack, are we ready with the order?" He asked.

"Good evening," Harry said, "I'll have the lasagna please."

"And for you ma'am?" Zack turned to YN.

"I, I, I'll have the Alfredo pasta please." She said the first thing which came to her mind, couldn't even go through the menu. Zack took the menus and left.

"So, how was your meeting?" He asked.

"It went good," she nodded, "I zoned out in middle, still hung over but it went well for most of it."

"Hmm, I saw!" He nodded pulling out his phone and showed her the music video ahe dropped out of nowhere, "why didn't you tell me about this? This is so fucking good!"

"It was quite impulsive decision." She smiled sheepishly.

"I streamed the entire album. There are no skips at all!" He was fangirling over YN's new album.

"Thank you," YN chuckled. He actually listened to the entire hour and half long album of hers. "Can't wait to hear yours."

"Oh, I'll send it to you after." He shrugged, "need another opinion on it."

"Yeah, I heard As It Was which you forgot delete off my computer that night." She reminded him, "it's like a depressing party song. You'll have people dancing to most down time of your life."

He laughed, "that's exactly my plan."

"You are so fucking weird sometimes dude." YN shook her head in disbelief making him giggle again. Their food was served.

"I wanted to talk about something," Harry cleared his throat slightly.

"Hmm?" She tried her best to act normal. Is going to bring up that last night? Is he going to tell her that they can't ve friends anymore?

"I've been wanting to tell you this for a while now," he started, tried to hold back his smile seeing her stress eat but he continued, "especially after last night, I don't want to assume but I don't think that last night was just something out of nowhere. I should start with saying that I know I used to like despise you when we were young." He chuckled awkwardly making her laugh.

"Yeah, like I murdered your pet hamster or something," YN laughed throwing her head back.

"Okay, now you stop making fun of me," he got embarrassed.

"Okay so now you've got another reason to hate my guts? You sure I didn't kill your hamster in past life or something?" She asked.

"No," he laughed embarrassedly.

"Just say it bro, I'm hungry!" She said taking a sip of her water. She dying of nervousness inside knowing exactly what's coming next.

"Did you just called be bro?" His features turned to be what looked of weirdness and upset in one. It didn't made, not even to him.

"God! It was just an expression dude!" YN rolled her eyes, "or sorry, shouldn't call you dude either."

"Okay, I'm a bit too old for these things I guess." He smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah you are." She nodded.

"I'm barely two years older than you." He whined.

"Nuh-uh! Two years and eighteen days older." She corrected him, "fucking hypocrite!"

"Hey!" He whined again but ended up giggling. "But can I ask if you meant what you said last night? I, I know you were like super drunk...  So...?"

"I said what, what did I mean?" She tried to act as if to be unknown of what he was saying, though she remembers every mili second of last night. For fucks sake she still haven't gotten out of her hang over but she'll take a fifteen shots of vodka or straight up a bottle of gin or anything strong that will her knock her out.

"You don't remember anything?" He got upset and that made her upset.

Oh god this getting more fucked up!

She doesn't want to tell him how she feels. She just got be friends with him after years and years of just feeling miserable trying to find the reason of his hatred towards her. This is definitely going to fuck it up, she fucked up, now he's going to tell her to never show that stupid ass face of her to him again! Oh fuck no!

"No, I remember I got drunk with Gems... And uhhh... I did a back flip in my pool, and, and I pulled you in the pool with me later. And... And, and that's it." She shrugged already regretting telling him what she remembers. Or at least some parts out of everything she remembers.

"That's it?"

"Yeah that's it! What else happened?" She shrugged nervously.

"Hmm, anything else? Like you drunk texting me to bring you late night snacks to your room, then asking for cuddles." He listed more things.

"I didn't ask for cuddles, I asked you to talk." She corrected him.

"So you remember more." He squinted his eyes at her suspiciously.

"No..." She shook her head.

"I'm going to cut the crap and get to the point." He sighed giving up because she turned out to be more stubborn than he thought she is.

"Yeah, obviously, I'm starving here!" She chuckled with her nerves exaggerated as she took another sip from her water. Harry just opted to smile.

"You can start," he suggested before he began, "look, I know that you know what you said last night and before Gemma and Mum came over, on your balcony, I, I wanted to talk about this." He took in a long breath.

"Nah, dude, you're not cutting the crap here you're adding to it." YN pointed out already digging into her food. She had to skip her lunch for this stupid meeting okay, she's really starving!

"Okay, look, I, I, I'm in love with you. I didn't wanted to tell you here in middle of a restaurant but rather at in a quieter setting. But here you go, I love you!" He ended his speech with yet another sigh, but this one was of a huge relief.

He noticed YN has froze in her actions, noodles on her fork as she was in midst of taking another bite with her mouth open, more of a surprised look on her face now. Someone sneezed at the next table bringing her back on earth, she shook her head and put her fork down clearing her throat.

"Did I really say I love you last night?" She mumbled sheepishly earning a nod from Harry, "I thought it was like one of weirdly real feeling dreams. But I guess not." He chuckled at that.

Harry offered her his hand over the table, she rested her hand in the palm of his own. It was adorable how much smaller her hand was in compared his it, like those cliche couple things but they're not a couple. Yet.

Harry clasped his fingers around hers gently, "I dunno when it happened, but I can admit YN, I have had a crush on you since the day you joined school and Mrs. Jones introduced you to the class. I know I despised you, but how couldn't I? You are this perfect person anyone could die to have in their lives. I know no one if perfect, but to me you are. You were the most adorable little thing I've laid eyes on, you still are but we're not little anymore." He chuckled.

"I wanted to talk to you but my dumb ass thought you were the rudest person to ever grace this planet but you were just new to everything. I was very harsh on my judgement there. I don't want to get into more as I've a fuck ton apologises I have to get out. So I'll stop now with those. Just ao you know, I've fallen for you real bad that I've got my knees all bloody." He ended his rant with that stupid little dimply smile of his.

"Okay this is a lot to process!" She cleared her throat.

"You don't have to say anything." He assured her, "at least not now."

"Yeah okay." She nodded, looking as if she just saw a ghost or that girl in white clothes from the horror movie with her hair covering her face, Harry just giggled seeing her reaction.

"Do you want to go get icecream after?" He suggested.

"Mhmm." She nodded.

Oh my god, shut the fuck up! Harry literally said he's in love with her, lile more than friends obviously he doesn't have to mention that. Oh my!

YN couldn't eat after Harry's little confession. After Harry was done paying they both walked to this icecream place down the street then walled back to his car, no words exchanged. He wanted to give her some time to process everything like she said. She had two things going on in her mind, one, she did not wanted to ruin their friendship and two, she did not fucking wanted to ruin their friendship.

"What are you thinking?" He asked and unlocked his car.

"I don't want anything to ruin our friendship." She mumbled.

"And why would that happen now, love?" He asked her, calmly with his voice just audible for her though hardly anyone was around.

"I don't know, what if we don't get along other than just being friends? It's going to be bad." YN explained.

"We're always going to be friends. If you don't know, I have very few best friends and you're one of them so you're very special to me hence I'm never going to leave your side." He assured her. "Unless you want me too, but it'll still take you real long time to get rid of me."

"So what now?" She asked.

"What now?" He sighed dramatically, "now I'm gonna take you out on a real date tomorrow, gonna ask if I can have the honour to be called your boyfriend. And then see where this takes us." All the while him explaining his plan he subtly took a step and half closer to her.

"You really want that?" YN asked, trying hold back her grin, she had to lift her head up to look at him.

"Of course I want that." He said, head tilted to a side with a cheeky smirk on his face. He was taken back when YN squealed and attacked him with a bear hug wrapping her arms around his neck, he almost lost his balance but he caught both of them in time. He laughed, "I love you."

"I love you Harry!" She whispered and earned a kiss on her cheek.

"Gemma is going to pull my leg till the day I die now." He let out another sigh, but contained one still holding her close.

"Why? No she won't!" YN defended her best friend.

"Yeah, 'Enemies to friends, friends to lovers when?' still remember that!" He chuckled burying his face in her neck. YN squealed trying to jump in his tight hold.

"I love youuuuu!" She squealed.

"I love you!" He mumbled, "I've waited long enough to say this, haven't I?" And he pulled away enough to look at her.

"Yeah, you were being a pussy and a dick at the same time." She rolled her eyes.

"Hey!" He whined and she just shrugged. She hugged him again laughing.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles x y/n #boyfriendrry #boyfriend!harry #bestfriendrry #bestfriend!harry

[stan-fixations]

The 100 Character Rankings

Character names found on: https://the100.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Characters

Only characters I found interesting and important to the story are listed

Warning: slight to extreme spoilers if you haven't watched the series!! Mentions of death/death related topics!! Long list ahead!!

A.L.I.E. : 2/10 def in the running for my least fav villain. She just annoyed me beyond belief and I see why everyone wanted Becca to stop trying to create her cause she's so annoying. However the whole city of light concept was somewhat interesting.

Abigail Griffin: 5/10 I loved Abby up to s3. In s4 she started getting annoying and after s4 I just hated her. Everything she did made me mad and I just didn't agree with a lot of her actions. When she died I laughed cause her death was long overdue.

Aden : 9/10 I love this kid with all my heart!! He was so freaking adorable and the fact that he was clearly lexa's fav student made him even better. And he clearly looked up to her cause he swore allegiance to Clarke and I was so ready to see him as heda. The only reason he's not 10/10 is cause he let ontari kill him in his sleep

Anders : 0/10 easily one of the lamest villains I've ever seen. Cult leaders have to be the lowest of the low for me so I really didn't vibe with him. He brought no flavor to the show and I would've preferred if they'd introduced Bill right away and made it so he had some crazy Sci fi tech way of staying young and alive for as long as he did (maybe like the mind drive tech or something).

Aurora Blake : 2/10 those 2 points are because she gave birth to Bellamy and octavia otherwise I'd give her a 0 cause she's literally not a good mom. How can you get pregnant twice knowing it's against the law and your second child would live a bad life and you would be executed if found out. When O was born she told Bell "You're sister, your responsibility" like girl YOUR CHILD, YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!!!!! We didn't get much of her but something tells me bell took better care of Octavia than their mother did.

Becca Franko : 4/10 she's intelligent I'll give her that but otherwise I don't see much else. She created A.L.I.E. which clearly wasn't her best moment. She created the eligius tech that sent criminals found to be disposable to outer space to mine for oil. When raven had her tumor she hallucinated someone she looked up to a lot and surprise surprise that person was Becca and Becca tried to get her to commit suicide. She's just a mind I don't see personality.

Bellamy Blake : 7/10 he's my eldest child in this show. While I love bell (especially in s1 & 2) s3 was rough for him and s4 was hard to watch cause he was just so broken. S5 I loved cause you could so clearly see the mental development and how much he matured since s1. S6 I feel is when he really started doing some wild ooc shit. And we don't talk about s7. Bellamy isn't a full 10 because he sometimes does the most toxic shit and then claims he did it cause he cares when he clearly knew his actions would hurt ppl. And he treated Octavia like shit after he came back from the ring but then turned around and kept fighting for Clarke even when she turned her back on them all while Octavia was just trying to save everyone but Clarke was trying to save herself and Madi.

Bill Cadogan : 0/10 he's an asshole. He treated his daughter and wife like they were insignificant and completely ignored his son. Becca warned him they weren't ready for judgment day and all that but he didn't listen and Anders's stupid sheep cult was born from this mans stupid idea that he was the most superior human being to ever exist and he knew what was best for humanity.

Anya : 10/10 even in the beginning when she was made to be a villain by being at war with the delinquents I loved her. One of the strongest characters in the show. Great female representation. I'm still mad cause there's no way a warrior like her could be taken out by a stray bullet I refuse to believe that bs.

Artigas : 10/10 super adorable kid. I thought he was gonna become Octavia's right hand man/protégé but unfortunately Finn happened. He had a lot of potential and it would've been sweet to see him grow up throughout the seasons.

Atom : 5/10 he's such a slut for the Blakes. He sucks Bellamy's dick and kisses Octavia's ass. He's like a dog following them everywhere and doing everything he's told. Honestly he's babyboy material even though he likes to act tough. I liked Atom though and I would've loved to see where his and Octavia's relationship went and how bell reacted. I think he had a lot of potential to be a main influence on the story.

Cage Wallace : 0/10 he's stuck up and arrogant in the worst way. I just didn't like this guy at all. Everytime he popped up on the screen I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

Callie Cadogan : 7/10 I loved Callie but there just wasn't enough of her to give her a 10. I was so looking foward to the prequel cause I wanted more Callie and I wanted to see how she formed grounder culture. Shitty mom, even shittier dad, somewhat shitty brother, amazing girl.

Callie Cartwig : 10/10 another one with lots of potential. I think she would've been chancellor after Kane and Abby decided to stop passing the title around. Personally the biggest thing to me in any type of relationship is loyalty and you could see how loyal she was to her best friend Abby so I have so much respect for her. I thought that Abby would get floated in the beginning which would cause her to go into a badass era and overthrow jaha and Kane and then take the rest of the arkadians to the ground and fight the war against the grounder and win but sadly she just disappeared completely from the story.

Carl Emerson : 3/10 I only liked Emerson because I love that he survived and was made into a way for Clarke to physically face her demons and her guilt from what happened at Mt.Weather. Other than that I didn't care much for him.

Charles Pike : 0/10 hated the guy I hated him so much. I get that he had a bad experience with the azgeda grounders but that's not an excuse to how he acted. His death was long overdue too and I'll never forgive him for what he did to Lincoln.

Charlotte : 2/10 FUCKING CHARLOTTE BRO!!!!! I'll give her a 2 cause she's a kid and she was traumatized but she did my boy Wells wrong. Charlotte is such a clown like really girl you thought you could murder someone to help you sleep better at night, let someone else take the blame and almost be executed, and then admit to your actions and you would be set free? Sorry sweetie that's not how life works. Honestly I'm grateful Charlotte existed cause she's the reason I joined team Murphy. Him being wrongfully accused made me feel for him and I agree the person who committed the crime should take responsibility. Sure Charlotte was a bit younger than them but they were all kids and it's not fair that they had no problem hanging Murphy but felt sorry for her.

Charmaine Diyoza : 9/10 I'm not giving her a 10 cause she could've easily killed McCreary and taken control of all the eligius prisoners which would've prevented the setting change from earth. Other than that I hated her in the beginning but loved her in s6. Strong female representation, well written, I don't see any problems here.

Clarke Griffin : 5/10 I have a strong love hate relationship with her. She's the character I flip flop the most with. She's 1/2 of the main character (with Octavia being the other half) and she's 1/2 of the definition of morally grey (with Octavia being the other half). Clarke is just Clarke I find it hard to completely love or completely hate her.

Costia : 10/10 any lover of lexa's is a fav of mine. I wish we would've gotten to see more costia (or see her at all for that matter) def would've loved to see her love story with Lexa so I could compare it to Clarke's love story with lexa.

Daniel Lee : 2/10 he was a prime and I thought the whole prime eligius mission concept thing was interesting.

Dante Wallace : 4/10 I thought he was kind of a sweet old man but his son pissed me off. Also he didn't have much power in the story and was a bit forgettable.

David Miller : 10/10 I love the millers. From the beginning when nate was trapped in Mt.Weather he was read to fight to get to his son. When they were having the raffle to see who could stay in the bunker he wrote down nates name to give him a better chance . He cared about his son form the beginning to the end and I see a lot of him in nate. For me he wasn't a character with a big part in the story but he's def Memorable and lovable.

Delilah Workman : 10/10 she was pretty, she was nice, she was in love with my grandson what's not to love here? I loved Delilah and I loved her first love thing she had going on with Jordan. I would've loved for her to join the group and help bell rescue Clarke and all that shit but sadly she was devoted and believed strongly in something that just wasn't true.

Dev : 10/10 guys he literally showed up in a MONTAGE. He had a MONTAGE!! that's it. That's all we saw of Dev after seeing his skeleton. To me that's the funniest thing cause like how did I grow to love a character through a long montage?? Loved him loved him loved him. That's all I have to say. I'm kinda glad that he was only a short time thing cause it was done in the most perfect way and it moved the story along really well.

Diana Sydney :0/10 her and jaha deserve each other cause they're the freaking worst. I wouldn't be surprised they had a past fling cause she's like the female version of s2&3 jaha mixed with s1&2 Kane. She's just shitty there's no excuse or reasoning.

Echo : 9/10 I won't give her a 10 cause of how she betrayed us at Mt.Weather in s2 (clearly the grounders had a thing for betrayal in that season) and also because her name is ash not Echo. Echo was her best friend that she killed and than stole the name from. Other than that I love her. Another strong female representation. Def one of those characters that makes you wanna learn archery. I just love her. She's very logical and not with the bs and I so respect that.

Emori : 10/10 I have a million hearts and she stole them all. Def in my top 5 female characters list. I loved her since s2 when I first met her and when she first met Murphy. I was like "awww Murphy got a little grounder gf" (on a sidenote the fact that Murphy called Octavia bellamy's "grounder pounding sister" then went and got with emori is so fucking funny to me like who's the grounder pounder now Murphy?!?) She's so fucking hot and honestly such a baddie but I love that it's clear she has a soft side and isn't afraid to show emotions to those she cares about. Also that she is vocal about what she feels and thinks cause everyone else in this show loves to keep secrets and expects others to read their mind, but emori will tell you what's on her mind whether you asked or not and she doesn't care if you like it or not. She's a queen.

Eric Jackson : 9/10 I just wish he was a bit more assertive at times. nate was def the dom in their relationship. I loved him and nate together. I loved that he was always friends with everyone even through the infighting he never got involved and he saw things from all sides. I think that's why I love him so much. He reminds me of myself in the past. Lots of friends who get involved in a lot of drama but I'm somehow never in it myself.

Faye Lee : 2/10 another prime. Not much to say here I just found the concept interesting.

Finn Collins : 8/10 my overhated king. I loved Finn. He lost 2 points cause he cheated on raven with Clarke and I love raven so that's a big oopsie no no in my book, and also because of the whole trigger happy crazed teen boy looking for his lost love thing that happened in s2, you know when he killed Artigas, yeah that kinda made me not like him as much. But other than that let's be real Finn never did much wrong. I really think he's overhated.

Fio : 10/10 not a major character but I saw him as Indra's right hand man. His loyalty is commendable and his pride and love for his clan was beautiful. I liked him.

Fox : 8/10 I liked this girl. Def a background character but a good one.

Gabriel Santiago : 9/10 daddy? Sorry. Daddy? I love Gabriel given that his og body died long before his mind did and the body he had belonged to someone else but still he's so fucking fine. I just wish he was also more assertive at times. But he's intelligent. I loved the trio between him, Echo, and hope. His little thing with Octavia was cute too.

Gaia : 6/10 sometimes forgettable but I love that she was so strong in her faith even when everything went to hell she kept going and it payed off on quite a few occasions. Gaia and clarke were a couple I wouldn't have been against cause the moments they shared were always so pure and you could tell though they weren't super close they always kept it real with each other and cared for each other.

Gina Martin : 10/10 GIINNNAAAAAAAA COME BACCCKKKKKK!!!! SO MUCH WASTED POTENTIAL HERE!!! THEY COULD'VE DONE SO MUCH I'M FUCKING PISSED TO THIS DAY CAUSE WTF YOU CAN'T JUST WRITE AN AMAZING CHARACTER IN SUCH A WAY THAT THEY BECOME AN INSTANT FAN FAVORITE AND THEN KILL THEM OFF!!? THE WRITERS OF THIS SHOW ARE ALL A BUNCH OF OCTOPUS PUSSY KISSING WHORES!!!!!!!!

Grace Cadogan : 2/10 forgettable and she married a douchebag guy. Her daughter is wonderful though.

Gustus : 2/10 I respect his loyalty to Lexa and I see that he was just trying to protect her but because of him my babygirl raven was put through even more pain, even though she's already been through a lot.

Hannah Green : 1/10 she was so close to beating Aurora for the worst mother award. I thought if monty is so amazing his parents must be even better. The writers gave us the wrong parent. Instead of killing his dad they should've killed his mom and let monty reunite with his dad. Hannah was a big miss for me.

Harper McIntyre : 10/10 this is my daughter in law. I fucking love her so much. Easily the sweetest girl in this whole show. I love her with monty and I love her with herself. Her and monty are a lot like finn with the whole love over war thing but the difference is they did it the correct way and never not once willingly committed a violent act or let their selfish wants get the best of them. Harper is honestly such a role model. Like if I had a kid and they wanted to sleepover at their friends house and their friends mom was Harper I'd def let them go cause I trust Harper with my kids life and mine.

Hatch : 9/10 I can't remember what crime he committed. I think it was robbery then turned into murder but I'm not sure. Either way he was an eligius criminal so it was definitely something bad. But he was so sweet in his love with that one girl. That convo he had with Murphy was EVERYTHING. He knew he wasn't coming out of that reactor alive but he still went in to save the person he loved and that to me is precious.

Helios : 10/10 guys if you don't remember or haven't watched the show I'd like to let you know that Helios is a horse. He's a horse. He's octavias horse. My headcanon is that he was originally lincolns horse or a horse that Lincoln got for her and that's why Octavia's always riding him. He's strong and reliable but also gentle what more could you want from a horse? Idc what anyone says this horse def deserves an award cause he was amazing.

Hope Diyoza : 8/10 she's just like her mom but with a worse temper and less patience. I like hope but the fact that she likes to rush into things annoyed me sometimes. I also wish her and Jordan had more of a personal and platonic relationship. Sure they got close when they went back to the bunker to hide madi from sheidheda or whatever and I get that they were the new generation and the only ones that had actual parents that belonged to the group of main characters but the thing is they just didn't spend enough time together to be in a romantic relationship. Other than them being automatically put into the main circle they had no other connection so I think their relationship was rushed. Other than that I like hope and I feel she was a good addition to the show.

Ilian : 6/10 this boy is hopeless. He should've stayed on the farm cause my goodness he just doesn't have a clue. Man really burned down ravens hard work and humanities last hope cause he hated technology like sweetie if you don't like something STAY AWAY FROM IT!! ITS LITERALLY THAT SIMPLE! But the thing is I love Chai Hansen (the actor) so I couldn't bring myself to not like illian less than a 6 cause Chai is an amazing actor.

Indra : 10/10 Indra reminds me of an African warrior girl. As an African girl this was a big yes for me. Especially seeing her natural hair the way it is instead of a wig or weave or something to me that was so amazing. This was a win for strong black female characters in TV. I love that she was clearly strong and a leader among her people (that spot was well deserved and hard earned I'm sure) but also that she wasn't written in a way where that was all she was (like most black female characters are written to be strong 24/7) you could see her soft side. You could see her emotion and how much she cared especially when it came to Gaia and octavia. She had moments where she was weak and beaten down and didn't hide it. She let it show. She held others up and I turn they did the same for her. The way I see it indra was the best mother in the show, not only to Gaia but to the other kids as well. She was also an amazing teacher to octavia and a great friend to Kane, Abby, and Jackson. She was even good to jaha (thought imo he didn't deserve it) For this I applaude the writers cause indra is definitely a success for them.

Jacapo Sinclair : 10/10 no surprise there. Sinclair is like indra and Harper. You can't dislike this guy. Like it's literally impossible. When it comes to the best father figure/mentor it's real close between him and Kane. I love Sinclair with all my heart. His relationship with raven was the sweetest thing. It hurt when he died cause he was all raven had in terms of family. Her parents were gone and she lost Finn. Sinclair was the last one and she had to watch him die just like she watched Finn die. Everytime raven cries I cry even harder. He was so sweet and he believed in her the most out of everyone. He never pitied her cause he knew she didn't need it. He knew all she needed was to believe in herself. Guys when raven hallucinated him in s4 I fucking cried so hard cause I missed him so much and I'm pissed cause he should've made it to the very end. He deserved to be happy. He deserved to die a good death on a comfy bed in a room full of flowers facing an open window with the sunset outside and raven sitting next to the bed holding hands and sharing sarcastic comments and wisdom until he finally slips into death as the sun sets and he gets a beautiful candle lit burial on top of a peaceful hill overlooking a large lake where everyone is wearing white and they all sprinkle rose petals over his grave and say their final goodbyes.

Jade : 4/10 I respect the drive she has to be good at her job and how loyal she was. Be it she was loyal to a lie. She reminds me of nate and his dad in the sense that they're all soldiers. They prefer the role of following orders and having a clear leader more than being a leader. I really don't have much to say on her.

Jake Griffin : 5/10 there wasn't a lot to go off here. Just a few memories and short appearances. I love that he was righteous and believed in humanity. He died trying to do the right thing and I love that.

Jasper Jordan: 9/10 this is my 5th child in this show. The only reason I'm not giving him a 10 is because he chose death. He left monty. He stopped fighting and I hate that. He had so much fight left in him I could see it. There was still so much greatness for him to accomplish. I'm disappointed that he chose a beautiful hysterically sad suicide but I'm glad he died on his terms. Jasper was put through so much and I see a lot of hate for him. Ppl say he was annoying after Maya died but I find that Jasper had the most realistic reaction to death. He went through depression. He lost it, he started drinking, he broke down. He loved her and clarke killed her, he had to see clarke all the time and he had to be there while everyone was praising clarke for being a hero. She hurt him and her apology was sorry but it had had be done. Even though they could've saved Maya who did nothing but help them clarke killed her and then had the audacity to tell Jasper to move on. They all told him to move on. Nobody but monty bothered to try to help him. They just decided he was helpless and left him to fend for himself when he fought to protect them in Mt.Weather. It was clear that Jasper wasn't very mentally strong when Fox got taken in Mt.Weather after he promised he would protect her. He lost confidence in himself then and when Maya died after he said he'd protect her he lost hope in life. Jasper needed help he needed someone to be there. Monty was there but there's only so much one person can do. He needed his friends. He needed the Clarke that stayed up at night changing his bandages when he got speared. He needed the Octavia that cared about him and looked at him with heart eyes. He needed the Bellamy who wouldn't let anyone kill him even though he was keeping them up at night with his screams of agony. He needed his friends and they weren't there so yeah he lost it and he became suicidal. At least his suicide made him happy in the end. My baby deserved so much better.

John Mbege : 5/10 I just like the fact that he was one of Bellamy's bitches.

John Murphy : 10/10 he's my 3rd child in this show. All I'm gonna say is he's my fav male character in this show and maybe of all time. I'm not gonna get into all the reasons why cause then this will turn into a Murphy love post. I love him I want him he's mine he will always be mine. John Murphy best boy.

Jordan Green : 10/10 my grandson my sweet babycakes. He's so innocent. But kind of a slut I mean this guy had his first crush on the first person he met who had no connection to his parents and shared his first kiss with that person and lost his virginity to her that same night. If that's not slut behavior idk what is. But other than his slut tendencies he's innocent. He's just like his parents too (casting did an amazing job cause I would totally believe it if Chris and Chelsey had a baby and it looked like Shannon). He's sweet and intelligent but strong in his beliefs and doesn't waiver. They didn't deserve him. Monty and Harper asked one thing of clarke and Bellamy and that was to watch over Jordan and protect him. Jordan fuckin went missing for more than one episode and it's like he wasn't even on their priorities list. They were like " la di da oh it's Jordan he might just be out making friends la di da" They didn't bother looking for him kind of like when monty was taken to Mt.Weather and Jasper was the first to try to look for him and they were like "la di da no Jasper we'll look for monty later la di da" AND THEY NEVER FUCKIN LOOKED FOR HIM!!! We finally saw him when clarke woke up in quarantine. Both monty and his son were missing for multiple episodes and nobody but Jasper bothered to search. My boys were too good for this group. Also raven and Jordan's relationship was adorable. Seeing raven as an aunt was cute. You could tell in the way she looks at him and talks to him that Jordan reminds her of monty so it makes sense that she cares about him cause raven and monty were a dream team in intelligence and raven and Jordan were following that path. Also his name is Jordan Jasper Green named after his dad's best friend Jasper Jordan hskdlakfhzlLxjj I can't I just can't.

Josephine Lightbourne : 10/10 in the running for best villain ever. I loved Josephine she was literally so perfect. I looked forward to her scenes cause it was one of the few good things about that mess of a season.

Judge : 0/10 wtf. I still don't get the Judge. Like Yeah we got a Lexa reappearance but still wtf. There was no base for this idea and it doesn't make sense cause why did they accept the judge and accept transcendence but fight their asses off to get rid of A.L.I.E and the city of light like bro they're basically the same thing. The s7 writers were completely cursed cause how else can you come up with such bs. Like the idea itself could work but the problem is it doesn't fit with the direction of the story and the original plot of the show. Like honestly s5 is when the story started to stray but at least it kept the same themes. S6 was acceptable because it happened due to previous events from s5 but s7 just came out of nowhere. I swear they pulled the entire script our of their asses cause it was so bad.

Kara Cooper : 1/10 she was loyal to octavia but it only took nearly getting all the arkadians killed and losing her own life to make her see reason and stop being an annoying crybaby bitch.

Kaylee Lee : 2/10 She was a prime

Knight : 9/10 I actually liked knight. He made the mistake of challenging Indra yes but I see where he was coming from. He saw an opportunity to rise in ranks and become a big leader so he took it. He failed obviously but it was a commendable attempt. Also he's sexy.

Kyle Wick : 5/10 I loved Wick with raven and thought they were super cute. I'm def someone who believes in separating the artist from the art. That being said the actor himself I don't like and that's why I'm rating a 5. He's done stuff that I just can't ever agree with and it's to the point where it had an affect on how I view the art but the character he portrayed I liked. I thought Wick was a refreshing addition to the show. His humors and sarcasm was a mood lightner and in this show any mood lightner is a good one and is fully accepted.

Levitt : 7/10 a little boring for me. He was cute with Octavia but he's no Lincoln. I love that he was able to bring Octavia some type of happiness after everything she endured. He's cute in a nerdy boy next door has no friends except his grandma loves to talk about electrons type of way.

Lexa : 10/10 I'm sure we all saw this coming. I love Lexa. I'll never forget the great s2 betrayal but let's be real that's all she's done. Well that and take the risk of others dying from a missile. But she did kick that guy off the top of her polis tower which was pretty badass. And she was a cute little raccoon leader so yea I love her. Little lesbian heda.

Lincoln : 10/10 when I tell yall I dream of this man. I DRREEEAAAAMMMMMM. He's looks so delicious. But no he's so hot but no he so sweet. Oh goodness gracious I'm done so done. There was never a better lover. LINCTAVIA 4 LIFE!!! The way I cried when this man died. I'm serious when I tell you I stopped fucking watching for a month cause I just couldn't deal with his death. I would open netflix and zoom right past this show to find something else cause I missed Lincoln and I still miss him. He deserved a beautiful death just like Sinclair.

Lorelei Tsing : 0/10 she's a bitch. Argue with the wall.

Luca : 10/10 this boy is so disney channel middle school crush. He's adorable. His little love story crush thing he has going on with Madi is adorable. His little friends are adorable. Everything is adorable.

Luna : 7/10 ngl I loved Luna when she refused the flame. I was like "yes girl make things hard for Clarke she's so spoiled and always gets her way. Make her work for it!!!" But then Luna kinda got annoying. I get why she fought in the conclave cause she didn't think humanity deserved to survive but it doesn't make sense cause she's so against violence yet she had no problem killing. And the reward was the bunker so clearly she knew the death wave would kill her and she didn't want to die just like everybody else so why did she have no problem fighting to kill everyone when she swore she'd never fight or kill again? There's so many holes here for me.

Macallan : 10/10 it's SHAWN MENDES. What do you want me to say?! No but Macallan was a cute little thief. I thought he and raven were gonna be in a relationship cause when they met she told him to sing as payment meant she knew who he was and he knew he could sing. Like maybe they'd met before on the ark. Anyway I love Macallan.

Madi Griffin : 9/10 I love Madi really I do but somewhere between s6 & 7 she just got a tiny bit annoying and whiny. But then again so did clarke in s5 so i see why Madi behaved the way she did. Madi and luca were literally living their own disney channel romance while everyone else was fighting tooth and nail for their lives. But yeah lola was absolutely amazing in this role.

Major Byrne : 1/10 I could do without her. She had potential but I don't think the writers played on it well enough. It felt like they intended to make her a major character but the story took a different track so they just dropped her.

Marcus Kane : 8/10 s1 & 2 were terrible. I hated Kane he was was bitch and I was wanting them to kill him off. S3 and onward I loved him. He was amazing. One of the best character developments in the show. I'm sad they dragged out his death. I think he deserved a better death but they didn't give him that so the least they could've done was let him die in peace and leave it alone instead of trying to keep him alive.

Maya Vie : 10/10 i didn't trust her in the beginning. She was too nice. But then I loved her. I wish she didn't get killed off cause I loved her with Jasper. She brought out this aggressive fierce side to him which was very different to the nerdy somewhat loner boy we'd seen the season before. I miss her. She was nice.

Michael Vinson : 9/10 I've watched this show 5x over and Vinson still scares the crap out of me. He was in a way a physical manifestation of abbys addiction which was cool but this dude is so scary. Of all the eligius prisoners I can see why he got sent to space. This dude is a psychopathic cannibalistic murderer. THEY LITERALLY HAD TO KEEP HIM IN AN ELECTRIC SHOCK COLLAR TO CONTROL HIM!!!! I don't know why I ranked him so high but there's something about him. Idk if it's the concept or what but I like him as a character even though he scares me.

Miles Shaw : 10/10 MY BAABBYYYYY!!!! I miss you Mr super adorable been through so much struggled to survive deserved better. I wanna give him all the hugs in the universe. He's so precious. I miss him with raven. Like really the fact that they can't let her be happy is bs. Not 1 season went by without her facing something traumatic. I though Shaw was going to be her happily ever after but I guess not. I wish he made it to the final lineup cause he was a great character.

Monty Green : 10/10 my 6th and final child in this show. My sweet precious marshmallow cinnabun chocolate teddybear cotton candy skies pink butterflies strawberry shortcake gummie bear slushie cupcake loml rainbow child. He's EVERYTHING TO ME! He's so cute and smart and kind and sassy and funny. He was a great friend to everyone and I loved his relationship with everyone. He kept it real even when he knew the truth was never what they wanted to hear he said it anyways. He was literally their subconscious voice of reason and guilt. The literal moral compass. I miss him SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!! But at least he got a happy death (one of the few happy deaths in the entire 7 seasons). He died after living a long happy life with his wife and son and the knowledge that he saved the human race by finding another home for everyone. MONTY GREEN BEST BOY!!!

Nathan Miller : 10/10 yall know I love the millers. Nate is just like his dad. Yes I know they call him Miller in the show but I call him nate so get over it. He's a great guy. So precious. Like he has a special place in my heart. My secondary character king. This man is def one of the funniest characters. His relationship with Jackson is super cute. I kinda feel bad for him cause let's be real all he ever wanted was to live happily ever after with Bryan by a beach raising chickens or sheep or whatever it was. He never asked for the chaos. I'm glad the writers decided to give him a bigger role instead of just letting him fade away. I also really love his friendship with Octavia. Easily one of my top 15 in this show. I love nate.

Nia : 0/10 this lady was vicious. I feel bad for Roan cause his childhood must've sucked.

Nikki : 1/10 this was hatch's wife. I thought she was badass but I like her mostly cause I liked her husband.

Niylah : 10/10 I think niylah is the only background character that I'm glad remained a background character cause it's so perfect. They gave her a bigger role in the story when it was needed but when it wasn't she went to the background which was beautifully done. I love niylah she was one of the few obviously good ones like Harper, monty, Lincoln, and Sinclair. I'm glad she made it to the final lineup cause she's awesome.

Nygel : 1/10 she's a snitch ass bitch. I don't like her. The only reason she's a 1 is cause I thought she was gonna have a big role and cause drama. (I love watching drama play out) but other than that she's not special.

Nyko : 10/10 it makes sense that he was friends with Lincoln. He literally reminds ne of Lincoln so much. I liked him. He was peaceful and quite handsome. Def deserved happiness and love.

Octavia Blake : 10/10 my 4th child in this show. The better Blake sibling if you ask me (but don't tell Bellamy I said that). She's absolutely amazing. Best character development in this show. Best female character. Best hero. Best villain. Best everything. I loved her when she was bellamys butterfly chasing grounder pounding sister. I loved her when she was skairipa. I loved her when she was blodreina. I loved her when she was bellamys sister but not his responsibility. I loved her when she was aunty O. I loved her from beginning to the very end. This is my fav character if you didn't know. Octavia Blake carried this show 50% of the time. When I say I watch the100 for the plot I'm mostly talking about her. I love her.

Ontari : 4/10 I kinda liked her. I didn't like that she basically raped Murphy or that she had the audacity to wear lexas Armour or that she pretty much cheated in the conclave. But I thought she was an interesting character. It was interesting cause Roan was raised by queen Nia and he turned out completely different than ontari who was also basically raised by queen Nia. And Echo was kinda raised by her too and was one of her closest and best spies but she turned out different than ontari but all 3 of them were loyal af to azgeda so it's kind of a glimpse into the personality of Nia cause she influenced 3 different ppl and they all turned out differently. I liked Rhiannon in this role though. She did great.

Orlando : 9/10 annoying at first but super nice. Sucks he believed in that Sheppard sheep cult thing though.

Otan : 1/10 I thought he was mysterious and interesting. But he followed jaha so that's a no.

Paxton McCreary : 4/10 I hated this dude for everything he did to raven, Murphy and shaw. But I have to admit he made s5 interesting.

Picasso : 7/10 I don't like dogs but he was cute. Also he's one of the very very few animals that the humans interacted with that wasn't deadly.

Priya Desai : 4/10 one of the better more entertaining primes.

Raven Reyes : 10/10 my 2nd child in this show. LITERAL DEFINITION OF DESERVED BETTER. ABSOLUTE QUEEN. Yall I got so scared when she and Bellamy fucked cause I was like "no way is she sleeping with him to get back at clarke for sleeping with finn?!?!" But no she was just horny and angry. She was...horngry??? But yeah raven is my babygirl. I love her love her love her to death. She's wonderful. One of the best characters in the whole show. She deserved a happily ever after. I'm convinced that halfway through the writers just liked pissing off the audience by making her suffer so they purposely wrote raven into some really traumatic experiences. But she still survived cause she's a boss bitch. Incredible female representation. Incredible poc representation. Incredible disability representation. RAVEN REYES FOR PRESIDENT.

Reese Cadogan : 3/10 this kid's a dog. He follows his dads' every step and does everything he says. I understand that he just wanted his fathers approval and attention but my goodness he was trying WAAAYYYY too hard. The only reason I give him a 3 is cause I pity him.

Rex : 10/10 AHDHFKSLLKDHALAKDJA stop. Stop everything he was so adorable. Rex Madi and Luca I loved this trio. They were just so adorable.

Riley : 1/10 RILEY?!? Bro I was so confused when they first introduced him cause everyone had a big reaction and they were all shocked to see him but I didn't know how he was important to the story. I thought he was one of the delinquents who went missing and I forgot about him but no he was just someone they all knew from the ark apparently. I didn't like how he was volunteering to go out and be around grounders knowing he had grounder ptsd but whatever. He wasn't that special. Kind of annoying.

Roan : 10/10 big daddy Roan. I loved him. He's sassy which is so attractive. He's so strong and beautiful and has eyes that I could get lost in for the rest of time. I loved Roan he was such an amazing character and I'm so glad we got him. I think his death was appropriate for the character like yeah he died fighting cause he's stubborn and it's def in character for him.

Roma Bragg : 9/10 I liked Roma. She was a delinquent with a lot of potential. Kinda miss her ngl.

Rose : 10/10 that girl is so adorable. It sucks that they were gonna try to use her for that glory and grace of the primes shit. Sweet kid.

Russell Lightbourne : 6/10 lowkey boring as a villain cause he tried to act like he wasn't a villain and never did anything wrong. But I love JR (the actor) he did such a phenomenal job. Like going from playing one villain to an even bigger villain. He had 2 roles and did fantastic with both of them.

Ryker Desai : 6/10 I like ryker and I thought he was quite cute with raven but he was a prime and while yes he didn't fully agree with the actions he still did nothing to stop them so that's a no for me.

Sgt. Lovejoy & Little Lovejoy : 0/10 & 10/10 hated the dad loved the kid cause the kid was a kid who did nothing wrong and he as so adorable and when Bellamy realized that he killed that kids father he got so sad and it broke my heart a little.

Sheidheda : 9/10 I love sheidheda as a villain but seriously dude like you had nothing better to do than terrorize a little girl. He messed with madi so much. He was all in her head and shit and it was so sad to watch. But he def brought flavour to the later seasons. Like he was one of the most interesting parts. JR did amazing with the role. But also the other actor who played him (idk his name) he did a really freaking awesome job too. Def in the running for best male villain.

Shumway : 0/10 douchebag. He tried to screw bell over. I don't like him.

Simone Lightbourne : 4/10 this girl was powerful. I liked watching her. Unfortunately she annoyed me too much to rate her any higher. Great female representation though. Def a boss bitch.

Sterling : 10/10 AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH MY UNDERRATED KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS BOY HAS MY WHOLE FUCKING HEART. HE'S SO ADORABLE AND HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND THERE'S SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND I CAN'T BELIEVE HE FELL OFF A CLIFF AND I MISS HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING HOT LIKE PLS RAIL ME DADDY! FUCK ME SENSELESS!! PLS!!KALDLFJALDJDA HE'S SO PRECIOUS MY BABYBOY GOT A HEART OF GOLD I'M HERE FOR IT. WE NEED MORE STERLING APPRECIATION IN THIS FANDOM CAUSE HE'S NOT LOVED ENOUGH. LIKE PLS I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES HOW AMAZING HE IS. HE'S SO PERFECT!!!!

Thelonious Jaha : 3/10 he's a good leader. Possibly the best leader in the entire show I won't lie. But he's annoying. I liked him in s1 then I hated him. This man done lost all his senses and quite frankly I feel his death was dragged out and long overdue.

Oh shit I genuinely didn't mean to do that but I ended with 100 names. How fitting. Well anyways that's my very long opinion. Hope you enjoyed. Feel free to let me know your thoughts on anything I've said. I love having discussions.

#t100 #the 100 #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #raven reyes #jasper jordan #monty green #harper mcintyre #indra kom trikru #lexa kom trikru #abby griffin #marcus kane #roan kom azgeda #echo kom azgeda #bellarke #octavia blake #blodreina #nathan miller #sterling t100 #the cw #the cw the 100 #the100ships #the100

[rphelperblog]

Nick Fury Quote Rp Meme

inspired by @widowings​ - feel free to change pronouns or edit for rp purposes

"Last tiime I trusted someone, I lost an eye."

"The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people."

"You have nade me very desperate."

"War is a universal language. I know a renegade soldier when I see one. Never occurred to me that one might come from above."

"You never know. You hope for the best and make do with what you get."

"Get me off the grid!"

I still believe in heroes." "Bitch please, you've been to space."

"If you want to stay ahead of me, you need to keep both eyes open."

"Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though It intends to spin on."

"Aren't you the cutest little thing? Aren't you cute? What's your name, huh?"

No matter who wins or loses, trouble still comes around."

"Excuse me, did we come to your planet and blow stuff ip?"

"Sir, i’m gonna have to Ask You To Exit The Donut."

"He took it? You’re Iron Man and he just took it?"

"Let me know if real power wants a magazine or something."

"I recognize the ccouncil has made a decision. But given that It's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it."

Here we all are back on earth, with nothing but our wit and our will to save the world."

'You kiss your mother with that mouth?'

He said peace wasn't an achievement, it was a responsibility. See, it's stuff like this that gives me trust issues."

"What do we want from you? Uh-uh. What do you want from me? You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe. I have bigger problems in the southwest region to deal with."

"Well...looks like you're giving the orders now, Captain."

How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war, you steal a force you can't hope to control, you talk about peace, and you kill 'cause it's fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did."

"We're going to neutralize a lot of threats before they even happen."

"He'd show them. Bunch of crumpled ones, and a loaded .22 Magnum. Yeah, Granddad loved people. But he didn't trust them very much."

"We can't afford to wait that long."

And it's getting damn near past time for you to get with that program, Cap."

"Hill? Oh, no. Motherf—"

"There was a time when I would take a bullet for you."

"Back in the day, I had eyes everywhere, ears everywhere else. But now, here we all are, back on Earth, with nothing but our wit, and our will to save the world. So stand. Outwit the platinum bastard."

"Show them what we got!"

"Same energy signatures as New York?"

'You never know. You hope for the best and make do with what you get'

"Do you know how to fly this thing?"

"And the new girl, she is a risk."

"Says the Space Soldier who was wearing a rubber suit.""

Is the sun coming up?'

“I’ve got my eye on you.”

I’ve been hearing about the New Mexico situation. Your work has impressed a lot of people who are much smarter than I am.

“Legend tells us one thing; History, another. But, every now and then, we find something that belongs to both.”

At ease, soldier! Look, I’m sorry about that little show back there, but we thought it best to break it to you slowly. 

“We’ve made some mistakes along the way. Some, very recently.”

There’s a lot we’ll have to bring you up to speed on if you’re in. The world has gotten even stranger than you already know.” 

Ten bucks says you’re wrong.

“Yeah, you say “peace,” I kind of think you mean the other thing.” 

Higher form? You forced our hand! We had to come up with some way that we could…

Wanna see my lease?”

“Guy’s multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit!”

“Here we all are, with nothing but our wit and our will to save the world! So stand and fight!” 

They needed a push in the right direction. They got it.” 

It’s not like they put the floor numbers on the outside of the building.

It’s called compartmentalization. Nobody spills the secrets, because nobody knows them all. 

#open rp #open to all #open to anyone #ask meme #open meme #open to anybody #rp meme #ask prompt #roleplay meme #memes #nick fury #nick fury agent of shield #marvel rp #open marvel starter #open marvel roleplay #marvel starter #open starter

[nerves-nebula]

OKAY SO #1 - Guinea pig

SO this is moreso a reference to a habit of my adoptive mother's rather than a specific event, but there's also one event that really sticks out because it is a story she herself likes to tell people.

But first, background information. The term "guinea pig" was used by her because of a few reasons. First, she's big into some non-traditional spiritual people.

I think it was Richard Gordon(? might've been a different bloke) who created his theories and ideas in the realm of what he does, but needed people to test these on. He couldn't just go out and find people to introduce these concepts to (too many variables plus not enough control) SO he decided to work on his children.

He had 2 daughters I think it was? maybe 3 kids? Where he had them practice different spiritual methods and he'd test the results against those without the spiritual methods, and etc etc. He called his kids "guinea pigs".

My adoptive mother wanted to do a similar thing with me basically, where if she had me practice/doing certain things/rituals that the other foster kids didn't have to (to a degree anyways) she'd be able to compare results and use them as proof of whether we were "working in the right direction".

So summary of that, she's called me her "little guinea pig" since I was little because I was the person she would try new things on before talking to other people about it. Test subject and all that.

NOW going back to the "one story that she likes to tell people" bit.

SO I was like, somewhere between 6 and 8 and we were going over to a family friends place for one of their kid's birthdays (pretty much the only family with kids we ever saw lol). In the car she turned to me and decided that it was time for an experiment where "I couldn't find a way to leave" because "she could tell I wasn't putting my all into it".

I very much did not want to do that and I decided that because my adoptive father was there (at this point I was in foster care though :/ ) if I speak up he'll probably put a stop to it. He didn't.

I tried telling her that I didn't want to be her guinea pig anymore and that I was really tired of having to do all that stuff if there wasn't often results and I'd be blamed for there being no results. I tried saying it as politely as I could, but she... did not respond well.

Things lead to another and she was lowkey yelling about how I was "rejecting healing" and "had let the humans of the world infect me". She ""agreed"" to not call me a guinea pig for a while (<- more about this after). I was crying and stuff and had to come up with an excuse for why it looked like I was crying when we arrived at the birthday party.

I told my adoptive parents the excuse so they could approve it but they ended up telling the parents at the party that I was being difficult (so if I said anything I was just being a crazy kid. didn't help that "adoptive child syndrome" exists. People's belief of the "adoptive child syndrome" heavily impacted how people treated me growing up -_- )

FINAL PART: The reason why she ""agreed"" not to call me a guinea pig for a while was because after a few years it became like a joke thing? (not sure the exact words for it lol). She eventually went back to calling me a guinea pig, but she'd also be like "haha, remember that time you were so crazy and cried because I want the best for you? Remember how ridiculous that was? I'm so glad you aren't like that anymore, right? :)"

(the thing is she's ALSO told this story to other people?? Like even just last year when some people I don't know well were visiting. We were in a restaurant and there was like 5 people I barely knew there and she told them the story and did the whole "haha but my kid now hates me because of this, don't you?".

I had to subtly try to calm her down so she didn't believe that because it'd get messy after the event if I didn't. Everyone was uncomfortable (I think?) and she went into wayy too much detail about me crying and how stupid I was being. IDK why she wanted to talk about that, but she followed it up by telling them that when I had my wisdom teeth removed they had "given me date rape drugs and I hadn't felt a thing" as if like, that's something to be proud of. ??)

ANYWAYS THERE'S STORY #1: Guinea Pig.

T'was long and looking back kinda funny like she is built SO different xD

CHRIST ALIVE. That's fucked, but thanks for sharing!

here's my little "weird thing my mom used to call one of her kids" fact I guess: She used to call my oldest sister her "Little Husband" as well as treated her like an "equal" in some instances

I was partially raised by my oldest sister too and though I never called her mom I did think of her as a protector cause she was the only one who would protect us from our older brother.

But yeah the whole "Little Husband" thing is sOOO upsetting hafhadsudhdg

OH aLSO what the FUCK is adopted child syndrome????? I'm looking it up but it just seems to be "this kid isn't acting grateful for being adopted so I'm going to call their problems a syndrome" and thats uh. um. WELL I don't like it.

#nnstuff #ask #child abuse #abuse

[boyakishantrinity]

IDK: Trigger warning, abuse, violence,sex. 18+ for gore and shit.

"Y'know something?"

Tongue clicking, woman sitting at the bench top, glass in hand, snarling to herself as she looked at the mobster.

"I really fucking hate it when some lazy ass bitch comes in and insults my friend."

Looking back at the girl, mouthing questions at the woman. Dark hair cascading her shoulders, a nice face, rack. Eyes shifting as she continued.

"So I suggest you get your greasy ass out of her door before I bleed over her FUCKING CARPET."

Blood erupting across her body, mana compressing, hardening around her as her voice howled. Glaring at the woman, one hand pulled back as a smile formed over her face.

"Oh? And-"

THUNK.

"That wasn't a fucking request. Now get. OUT."

Downing the rest of the glass girl looking hopelessly confused, mobster giving a smile as she gripped the table.

"I don't think you're listening-"

"I don't think you hear me. Get your greasy... That's a soul contract."

Eyes trailing the paper, breathing in, cogs turning as she skimmed the paper.

"Yes... One of many, this one is one your friend signs that effectively-"

"So if I killed you?"

"... Excuse me?"

"If I killed you, you dense motherfucker? If I thrust this goddamn knife through your throat. Other than your weak-ass dying, what'd happen?"

Looking between iron blade, polished as she smiled at the queen pin. A grin forming over her face.

"... your friend would die."

Swishing the inside of her face, stabbing her face before drawing the now glowing knife.

"And now?"

"Did you even listen you stupid... That's Heaven's insignia."

"Yeah, now answer me."

"... Look, if you kill me-"

"What makes you think I give a shit about some weak willed slut? i'm doing this more because I hate your kind."

"... My kind?"

"Your kind, the kind that hides behind bullshit contracts, exhibits power over others because they're incapable of controlling themselves. Those who's sin only hides who and what they are, remaining ignorant to the evil they truly are."

"... As opposed to you-"

SHUNK.

"As opposed to me? A girl who tried again and again in vain when I was alive, to do what you fucker left my friends behind. Abusing person after person. Jose. Ignoring your mother's teachings, leaving her to die in a nursing home meanwhile I killed people. Shot down person, people, anyone I judged as sinners, finding them down here years later with only one exception that I don't think even count"

"... and what? You don't-"

Fist sending jaw flying, smile forming over her face as she rips the knife from her stomach. Blood pouring out, growling like an animal as she slashes her face.

"Even care? So what? Working for ideals, morals, beliefs all of it is a flawed way of thinking, a way to get corrupted, but if you corrupted yourself. Deluded yourself into living in reality. Well, the only evil is what others believes and why should I care about some weaklings? That's the logic you've used right? Throwing aside your best friend since birth, twice. Finding a new slut- Fuck off Thea, go hide in your room and cry like a bitch because that's all you can do right? Go cry like a bitch, grow a fucking spine and do whatever you want. I'm done."

A small laugh came from the porn queen, a giggle, shaking her head as she laughed. Voice flowing despite her imminent death.

"You think this changes anything? You do everything we do, but worse, you're the scum of our society, something that without us-"

"I'd live a much happier life, working to spread equality through my beliefs instead of hiding behind them like a coward. Don't think we're done you bitch, I'm not going to just stop at your death. You're going to call your FUCKING BOSS. RIGHT NOW. Not your GODDAMN SUPERVISOR. OR I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I WILL BRING THEIR GODDAMN HEAD TO BEAT YOUR SKULL IN."

IDk, what y'all think?

#tag #idk #artists on tumblr #writing #writing on tumblr

[snorkling-in-sodasea]

Moments of Stupidity

What I mean is, I feel like listing all the instances I can think where a character does something stupid, whether it be their natural inclination to be or just taking a turn holding the stupid stick. By the time Oops rolled around, I wasn't at all upset by the characters' stupidity because, around the time Exes and Oohs came around, I learned that Helluva Boss is one of those universes where plots only happen because everyone is naturally an idiot. The degrees of which are varying but most, if not all, the plots happen because someone's a moron.

And like I said, I feel like doing this so why not? So whatever examples I can think of as I recall the whole series by far, I'll list here. Now for those who have this seriously favorite character of theirs - which is bound to be everyone, especially those who give some of their time to read this list - sorry if they end up on this list. But please remember that I'm in the belief that Helluva Boss is an universe full of idiots and that the only true difference is the varying degrees of it. So that means even my favorite characters aren't exempt from this list and I'll put the examples of stupidity when I come across it in my head. And what are my standards of stupidity, at least in this case? Instances of someone doing or saying something that leads to consequences that could have been avoided if they just had common sense and/or information that should have told them the more sensible thing to do or say but didn't because it's clearly shown that they weren't inclined to using a fucking braincell (And yeah, I know that Viv and her writers are in control over how stupid the characters are but I believe my point still stands. If someone doesn't want others to say shit about them, then that someone shouldn't do shit so stupid that it gets others to say it)

And I think I'll post it one episode at a time. That way, it'll be easier for me, especially when I'm posting late at night because that's usually when I do it, and because new episodes of Helluva Boss will come out and I'd have to make another post anyway. Seriously, if I'm hearing right, then another episode of Helluva Boss is already going to come out on Halloween. Finally, I think I'll either save the pilot for later or even pass on doing it since, as far as I know, pilots to shows aren't really canon. Haven't decided yet. Finally, please let me know if I missed any instances of stupidity because I'm just going off on memory and I don't love the show enough to go back and rewatch episodes

Anyways, without further ado...

Murder Family -

No one putting fire safety procedures or even just any safety procedures on the book. You'd think that if Blitz cared so much about getting screwed over in the worst way possible, then he'd make sure it's for sure safe in wherever it's kept. And yeah, I'm feeling that Blitz didn't do that when demanding if 'the fancy book is still intact'. As in, it sounds like there was a chance that the Grimoire could have been destroyed in the fire and Blitz knew it. So it was probably just lucky that Loona. Maybe it's slightly better that Blitz kept the Grimoire in the safe but, as Seeing Stars shows, it's its own moment of stupidity. (Which I'll get to in due time)

Blitz happily telling Moxxie that they're gonna ruin a family rather than killing a family. I guess this example isn't as bad as blatant examples latter down the line but it still resulted in his softer-hearted employee to intervene. All because Blitz is fully expecting Moxxie to be as cold as him. So it's still understandable given that Blitz is bound to not know the exact details of Moxxie's mother - that already giving Moxxie a reason to care so much about a family being ruined even if he was as cold-hearted as his boss - but I'm pissed off that Blitz at no point even thinks that it was his fault that they were in that mess and keeps pinning the blame entirely on Moxxie. Seriously, if Blitz didn't happily gloat about how they're going to ruin a family, then Moxxie wouldn't have interfered with the shot. What makes this a little stupider is that Blitz should have known Moxxie well enough by then since they apparently met each other in jail and broke out together. Meaning that Blitz should have known well enough that Moxxie isn't as cold as him or at least not enough to enjoy the thought of ruining a family. Because yeah, Millie was all 'if that's what the clients want' due to professionalism so it made a difference when it came to Blitz's attitude on the matter; I was able to tell that he liked the idea. (Which is seriously messed up given the episode Oops now that I think about it). Even if Blitz didn't know a single damn thing about Moxxie other than his name, Moxxie acted clearly enough that he didn't like the idea of killing a family so why would he find it better to ruin one? Yet Blitz just keeps up the anticipation over doing that like it wouldn't cause Moxxie any distress

Moxxie messing up the shot. Same thing as above example, it's understandable, especially when you get the context, but it still led to the family of Satan-worshipping cannibals to go after Moxxie, his wife, and his boss. If an action brought on by impulse and/or emotion leads to disastrous results, as stated above, then I'll be hard-pressed to call it smart. Blitz is to blame but just by half or at least partially. I can't ignore that Moxxie did mess up the shot and got them discovered by the crazy-ass family and put them all in danger

Blitz for fucking confirming to Martha when she gets the idea to just shoot him and Millie. Just because the fire didn't hurt you didn't mean you were invulnerable to fucking dying in general. Especially according to Viv who says that imps are just as vulnerable as living humans when it comes to dying and to just as many things (as much as she's being inconsistent about how she writes her characters and her show) Just because Martha would have thought of another way to kill you off when she inevitably discovers that the fire doesn't work, as well as her husband no doubt going to help brainstorm in permanent killing solutions, doesn't mean you had to confirm that shooting you will work. If Millie actually bothered calling you out, then it's a stupid move. Moxxie put you in that situation but you definitely didn't have to add more fuel to the fire, especially if your employees - with one of them right there with you and in just as much danger as you - is supposed to be so fucking important to you

Oh, and let's not forget the fucking phone. Blitz didn't put his phone on fucking vibrate. Considering that, in the human world, with his two field employees with him, there'd be no one but Loona to call or to be called by. And just because Blitz never expected to be running for his life. He's supposed to be an assassin. As in, no one's supposed to see him or notice him. As in, Blitz isn't supposed to be drawing attention to himself. So why the fuck would he not even put his phone on vibrate? That way, he'd just feel someone calling him instead of broadcasting his location to anyone and everyone who can hear it. And in the case of Murder Family, that includes a serial killing, Satan worshipping cannibal who's trying to shoot him dead. It's just that, in the dangerous situation that Murder Family provided, not putting the phone on vibrate became even stupider

Let's not forget Stolas now that I think about it. Yeah, he's incredibly selfish and self-centered for calling Blitz for transactional fucking when the imp is in the middle of trying not to get shot. He's still stupid because, if getting imp dick was so important to him, then he should have known that distracting Blitz in a survival situation like trying not to get shot could result in him DYING. Unless Stolas is gonna bring Blitz back from the dead or just outright perform necrophilia, then that horny owl won't get any transactional fucking whatsoever!

I'll probably include Mayberry, too. After all, she was completely overrun with emotion that overrode common sense when finding out that her husband was cheating. She never at any point turned off the computer, not before she left the school and especially not before shooting herself, especially if Mayberry is gonna act like her students are precious to her. Although I said I'll 'probably' include Mayberry because her actions have been inherently selfish. When she left the school, she thought about getting revenge to satisfy herself, well, she never thought of turning off the computer so that the kids wouldn't have to see it. Then Mayberry realizes what she did and she still never turned off the computer before committing suicide, which just traumatized the kids even further than what the teacher would have wanted. So maybe Mayberry genuinely loved and cared about her students but got so emotional that she lost common sense concerning the computers and her students, which would make it stupid. If not, then the concern for the students' mental well-being was just a facade and the only stupid thing she did was still not turning off the computers so that she wouldn't have witnesses and so wouldn't feel the need to kill herself to escape being convicted (okay, so I did still find a stupid moment in there)

(And yeah, I bitched on Blitz far more on Moxxie. There's probably favoritism, at least partially, but all this still seems and feels pretty damn logical. Besides, it does help my opinions on my most favorite that Moxxie took responsibility for his goof-up, complete with apologizing, while for my least favorite, it only hurts when Blitz fucking pinned the blame entirely on Moxx and threatened to rape him and Millie for another screw up. Besides, this is just the first episode of the series proper. I'm sure everyone will take a turn in being an idiot, and in large quantities)

#helluva boss #blitzo #moxxie #martha #mrs mayberry #stolas goetia #stupidity #ranting