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wondernimbus · 4 years

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two sworn enemies pt. 2 — draco malfoy

pairing: draco malfoy x female!reader

summary: maybe being fancied by draco malfoy isn’t so bad, after all.

requests are closed for now. please refrain from plagiarizing my work!

click here to read pt. 1!

"Why is it so bloody cold?"

[Y/N] is decked out in full winter apparel; a knitted Gryffindor sweater, ear-muffs, and a scarf that she has half of her face buried in.

Sitting in the Quidditch stands with the rest of her friends, she grumbles, "It's not even a Gryffindor match. We don't really have to be here freezing to death."

"Well, it's common courtesy," says Hermione, but she's just as cold as [Y/N] is; there's bits of snow stuck in her hair and the tip of her nose is pink.

Ron snorts loudly. “We’re here to watch Slytherin lose," he says matter-of-factly, still in the process of smearing streaks of blue paint across his cheek.

[Y/N] watches him, nose scrunched. "Well, aren't you the Ravenclaw fanatic."

He gives her a grin and holds out the small tub of paint. "Want some?"

She bunches up her lips in thought, then reaches out to take it. Annoyingly enough, Ron pulls back at the last moment, grinning wider than ever, and says, "Or d'you want to show support for your boyfriend Malfoy? Hermione, why don't you turn this green—"

[Y/N] dives over Hermione and Harry to smack Ron round the head, only for the pair to hold her back and push her into her seat.

Exasperated, Hermione huffs, "Honestly, Ronald, will you stop bringing that up?" She glares at him. "You know fully well [Y/N] doesn't like it."

Ron (and Harry, although he isn't as boisterous about it as the redhead), thinks that the "blond ferret" taking a fancying to her is one of, if not the most hilarious thing to have ever happened in history. Annoyingly enough, Ron has made it a habit to tease her about it every chance he gets—this one being one of them.

"If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought Ron fancied Malfoy with how much he talks about him," grins Harry. This earns him a smatter of blue paint across his face; Ron had flicked it at him.

With one last eye-roll, [Y/N] tears her gaze away from Ron and digs her nose further into her scarf. It really is very cold; snow is falling from the sky, seeping into her clothes, some landing on her hair and on her face. Thankfully there's not so much of it that the players on the pitch wouldn't be able to see around them, but still—[Y/N] imagines that it'd be a lot colder for them, having to fly around the stadium with the cold wind whipping at their robes.

There’s a buzz of loud chatter hanging in the air as conversations from all around them overlap over one another. The entire stadium is slowly filling up; students trickle into the stands, a majority of which have adorned themselves with blue accessories as a show of support to Ravenclaw. One side of the stands, however, is entirely green. Through the snow, she can see a big serpent-shaped balloon hovering over the Slytherin side.

"They’re coming out!" someone exclaims.

Sure enough, when [Y/N] looks down at the pitch, players from both teams have appeared and congregated at opposite ends of the pitch. Slytherin and Ravenclaw; whichever house wins will play Gryffindor for the house cup. Most bets are on Slytherin, but [Y/N] would have to be dead before she is caught anywhere supporting them.

"Look, it's [Y/N]'s boyfriend," gushes Ron.

More out of habit than anything, [Y/N] shoots the redhead yet another brief, scathing look. Draco Malfoy is there, even though he's nowhere near being her boyfriend, pale face set into a stoic expression of calm as he stands with the rest of his team, one hand on his broom and the other on his hip—and this specific image has her thinking back to what happened two weeks ago on this very same pitch, except the stadium was empty and it was only the two of them on the grounds; when he'd confessed to liking her.

As if Malfoy has somehow heard her thoughts over the noise of excited chatter coming from all over the stands, he looks up, eyes sweeping the seats in search for someone before finally, they land on her.

When he meets her gaze, [Y/N]'s breath isn't knocked out of her chest, nor does she start blushing madly. But she doesn't burn red with annoyance, either. All she does is stare at him, eyes narrowed, watching as his lips split into a wide grin and he raises his hand to wave at her.

She rolls her eyes, but thankfully—thankfully, the scarf tucked around her neck, reaching up to her nose, conceals the smile that tugs at her lips.

"May I ask everyone to please find themselves in their seats before the match begins," McGonagall’s voice echoes around the stadium, giving [Y/N] a reason to break eye contact.

She tears her stare away from Malfoy’s, inhaling a deep breath through her nose, feeling oddly exhilarated.

But this isn't anything new. That slight feeling of breathlessness, that unfamiliar sensation tickling at her stomach whenever she spots a certain someone in the hallway; she's been feeling it a lot lately, and though the cause seems to be pretty obvious, that is another thing she'd have to be caught dead before doing: admitting that she reciprocates some of Malfoy’s.. peculiar feelings.

"And they're off!" Dean Thomas announces. [Y/N] watches as the players soar high into the air until they're mostly level with the stands, a blur of blue and green robes rapidly zooming around the pitch. Slytherin is already in possession of the quaffle; not a surprise, considering Ravenclaw isn't exactly known for their exceptionally talented Quidditch team.

Malfoy, meanwhile—[Y/N] tells herself that the way her eyes dart around the pitch in search of a certain platinum blond is because she wants to watch the game properly and not for other reasons.

She spots him hovering somewhere above the rest of the players, face screwed up in concentration as his gaze moves around the pitch in search for the golden snitch. He looks even paler in winter, set against a backdrop of a cloudy sky and snow—

[Y/N] jars herself out of her thoughts and blinks, side-eyeing her friends (specifically Ron) to make sure they hadn't seen her.. observing the Slytherin seeker. (Not like it matters; it's not as though she fancies him, but Ron would certainly take it the wrong way.)

"Go Ravenclaw!" Ron practically screeches, waving his Ravenclaw banner in the air—when did he get that? "Kick Slytherin’s arse so Gryffindor can crush you in the finals!"

[Y/N] snorts. "Have it all thought out, don't you, Ron?"

"Go on and cheer for your Slytherin boyfriend, [Y/N], no one's stopping you," says Harry, grinning. She turns to face him, mouth open in disbelief, and lets out a quick breath of incredulous laughter.

"So, Harry," [Y/N] says, suddenly deadpan. ”I see you've chosen Ron’s side."

Harry snickers, then shrugs.

"Oh, Malfoy’s seen the snitch!" someone shouts from beside them. [Y/N] turns back to the game to see Malfoy zooming down the pitch, clutching the front of his broom as he swerves past Slytherin and Ravenclaw players alike in pursuit of the tiny golden ball all the way on the other side of the stadium, where [Y/N] and her friends are sat. He has the upper hand—Ravenclaw's seeker is only just now starting to fly after him, but she's a good distance behind and Malfoy is gaining speed.

"He’s gonna catch it!"

"Ravenclaw's even worse than I thought," grumbles Ron, slumping down in his seat.

But just as Malfoy passes by them, somehow, despite the fact that he is in pursuit of the bloody golden snitch and on the brink of securing victory for his team, he slows down just the tiniest bit, and then, in true Malfoy fashion—theatric as always in his displays of affection—he catches her eye and yells “This one's for you, [Y/N]!”, a grin on his face before he hurtles down the pitch, stretching out his hand towards the fluttering snitch—

"Malfoy’s got the snitch!" Dean Thomas screams into his microphone. "Slytherin wins!"

[Y/N] stares, feeling oddly warm despite the wintry weather, as Malfoy spins around in mid-air, triumphantly holding up the snitch for the rest of Hogwarts to see.

"Blimey," gapes Ron, wide-eyed, staring not at the Slytherin seeker but at [Y/N]. "That was—"

[Y/N] looks away from Malfoy to meet Ron's gaze, maintaining indifference. "He’s quite the charmer, isn't he?" she mutters, and hopes that her friends will think that the blush on her cheeks is because of the cold and not because of something—someone else.

But that's ridiculous. It is because of the cold, isn't it?

"It may be Malfoy," says Ron slowly, shaking his head, "But you can't deny that was bloody romantic. Felt like I was watching something out of one of those Muggle films."

"Yeah, we'll have to ask him for tips," says Harry, and starts laughing when [Y/N] rolls her eyes in response.

—

Malfoy may have stopped sending her Howlers, but that hardly matters because he has found every other way to pester her.

This includes consistently yelling out her name and shouting random pick-up lines every time he spots her in the hallway, as well as sending people to do her bidding—no longer first-years, but Crabbe and Goyle, who show up at random intervals everyday presenting her with a batch of different pastries. She always sends the pair off, but only after Ron and Harry accept said pastries for themselves.

"Blimey, this is heavenly!" gushes Ron, taking a passionate bite off of his second red velvet cupcake. "You sure you don't want a bite, [Y/N]? Hermione?"

[Y/N] offers him an exasperated smile. "No, thank you, Ron."

"Don’t thank me, thank your boyfriend."

The four of them walk into the dingy Potions classroom. Snape is nowhere to be seen, but it's only a matter of time before he swoops in all bat-like, so [Y/N] and Hermione quickly take a seat at their regular desk, right next to Ron and Harry.

"Have you done your homework?" asks Hermione, pulling out an assortment of parchment from her bag.

[Y/N] hums in response. "I doubt mine is half as good as yours, but hopefully I’ll scrape an acceptable."

"Oh, you're a good student, [Y/N]. Don't bring yourself down."

"Hard not to when I’m sitting next to the brightest witch in our year," she nudges Hermione’s shoulder, smiling. Hermione huffs, rolling her eyes, but it's clear by the pleased look on her face that she doesn't hate [Y/N]'s honest flattery as much as she lets on.

[Y/N] drums her fingers on the desk to pass time, not quite paying attention to the students filtering into the classroom. Or at least not until one of them calls her name and drawls, "Is someone sitting here?"

[Y/N]'s head snaps around to see none other than Malfoy, gesturing to the desk to the left of hers and Hermione’s. "Mind if I,” he pauses, grinning, "Slytherin?"

She purses her lips into a thin, tight line, inhaling deeply as she fights to keep her cool. Yes, there are times when Malfoy's gestures have her questioning her own hatred for him, but this—this is not one of them.

"That," she says, voice mostly level. "Is your seat, Malfoy. I don’t see why you have to ask me."

Which is a lie. [Y/N] knows why, of course. To get her attention. To woo her. But part of her wishes that Malfoy would realize that everything he is doing, from the overbearing pick up lines to the cupcakes to his constant public declarations of love, isn't something that [Y/N] thoroughly enjoys. Does she want him to stop yelling at her in the hallways? Yes. Does she want Crabbe and Goyle to stop bumbling up to her everywhere she goes (outside of the girl's bathroom is one example) offering cupcakes and pie and tarts? Yes. But does she want Malfoy to stop trying entirely?

Maybe not. Maybe part of her wants to give him a chance. He does seem to truly hold feelings, judging from his confession back at the Quidditch stadium, unless he's a terribly good actor.

And it wouldn't just be him she'd be giving a chance, either. Perhaps she'd also be doing so to herself. Because, over the past month, it's baffled her how quickly her feelings for him have shifted. Or maybe it's not a change of feelings, but rather realization that under all that sneering and pureblood prejudice, Draco Malfoy is a boy.

An annoyingly attractive one.

But there is so much more that [Y/N] dislikes about him. His snootiness. His arrogance. His lack of consideration for other people's feelings. He may be tall and lithe and undeniably handsome, and he may have very soft-looking platinum blond hair and stormy grey eyes like dark clouds, but he is also a prick. And that wins over everything else, no matter how.. visually pleasing he is.

So when a paper bird flutters in front of her halfway through the lesson, when Snape’s back is turned, [Y/N] hesitates. She knows fully well who it's from, despite not having to look to the side and meet his gaze.

From beside her, Hermione whispers, "Get rid of it, before Snape sees."

Exhaling, [Y/N] snatches the paper bird and quickly unfolds it.

She doesn't know what she's expecting to see, but it's certainly not the words "meet me at the Astronomy tower after dinner" scribbled across the parchment. And with a drawing of a face blowing kisses, no less.

[Y/N] sighs.

—

[Y/N] has no real feelings for Malfoy, so succumbing to his mysterious evening request at the Astronomy tower shouldn't mean anything.

Scratch that: it doesn't mean anything. Not to her. (Or so she tells herself.) This is a chance for her to tell Malfoy to sod off and to stop courting her. And for good, this time. No matter what that annoying little voice inside her head tells her, she can't possibly even consider the idea of actually giving in to him. (And to herself.)

So she's going to put a stop to it, once and for all.

"I’m going," she decides over dinner, slamming her palms down on the table.

"Going where?" asks Harry.

"The Astronomy tower," she replies resolutely.

"What, to go star-gazing?" Ron snickers. [Y/N] glances at him and realizes, quickly, that telling them had slipped her mind—she'd been far too preoccupied with her own conflicting thoughts.

She shifts in her seat. She doesn't necessarily need to tell them, does she? It's not as though it's important enough to share. And besides, Ron would only badger her about it. Mercilessly. [Y/N] can already picture him in her head, talking about Malfoy and snogging under the stars and Merlin-knows-what-else.

"Nevermind," says [Y/N], taking a bite out of a muffin and looking away. They don't need to know; it's not as though it's important.

—

After [Y/N] has walked up all of the stairs to get there, only taking one or two shortcuts, she's out of breath, but she creeps into the Astronomy tower anyway. It’s mostly dark save for the faint moonshine filtering in from the open sides, and, well—there he is.

Malfoy’s arms are crossed over his chest, his back mostly turned as he stands dangerously close to the railing, looking out over the dark landscape. Dim light catches on the side of his face, illuminating the grey of his eyes.

The curve of his nose.

Pale skin.

White-blond hair.

[Y/N] finds herself staring, one hand on the doorframe as though for support, brows furrowed in the middle in a slight frown as she watches him.

He looks lost in thought. Even from a few feet away, [Y/N] can see the far-off, distant look in his eyes. Like storms brewing behind dark clouds, she thinks to herself. It’s a quiet little whisper in the back of her mind that has her heart doing odd little flips inside of her chest that she never knew it was capable of.

But then she blinks.

This is the last thing [Y/N] needs. To see Malfoy stripped of his arrogance—to see him as he is, bathed in moonlight, glowing, almost. To look at him and to see a boy with eyes like molten silver and nothing more—it's the last thing she needs to convince herself that she doesn't feel something for him that isn't hatred.

No, she doesn't need this.

She turns around, breath caught in her throat, and starts walking down the steps. Accidentally, stupidly, her foot catches on a metal step and a loud clang echoes around the silent tower.

[Y/N] pauses, eyes wide.

"[Y/N]?" Malfoy's voice says. He can't see her. It’s too dark, and [Y/N] is too far down the steps.

She swallows. But instead of dreading what could come, she finds herself waiting, half-hoping that he'd check the staircase, that he would see her and—

And then what?

[Y/N] rushes down the steps, ignoring the loud noise her footsteps make on the way. This is the last thing she needs.

—

[Y/N] doesn't like Malfoy.

[Y/N] doesn't like Malfoy, and she is determined to make that clear. (Both to herself and to her friends, although the former seems to be taking a lot more convincing.)

"What is there to like about him? He’s nothing but an annoying pain in the arse who has an overwhelming amount of pride and arrogance simply because of his blood—which is not only something that he never rightfully earned but is also something that shouldn't even bloody matter, except he thinks that it does solely because he is an absolute nutter who has nothing better to do with his life other than leech off of his parents' money and shove it in other people's faces."

Ron meets Harry’s gaze from across the table, who seems to be trying very hard not to laugh. Swallowing down a forkful of pancakes, Ron looks back at [Y/N]. "I’m sorry," he begins slowly. "But remind me again why we're talking about Malfoy?"

"I’m not finished, Ronald," [Y/N] snaps, shooting him a dirty look. Ron raises his eyebrows. "As I was saying before someone so rudely cut me off, Malfoy is a nasty little git who finds joy in making other people suffer. he probably has tiny puppies locked up inside his basement just so he can laugh in their faces and revel in their misery because he is that horrible of a person—"

Harry lurches with poorly suppressed laughter.

"An absolute terrible excuse for a human being! He basks in other people's humiliation—mine, for example!—and I would much rather snog the Giant Squid than ever actually consider his—" She pauses, gritting her teeth. "Odd.. requests."

"It’s not like he's asking you to murder house-elves," Ron mutters.

"Something that I would rather do than date him!"

"[Y/N]!" Hermione gasps, looking genuinely offended as she, for the first time since they'd arrived at the Great Hall for breakfast, looks up from the homework she's rushing to finish. (As if her five pieces worth of parchment aren't enough—Flitwick had only asked for three!)

"Sorry, Hermione," [Y/N] says, offering her an apologetic look that she only half-means. This quickly turns into a fierce look of challenge as she swivels back around in her seat to face the redhead sitting next to her. "Honestly, since when have you started defending Malfoy?"

Ron blanches. "I’m not defending him!" he says indignantly, setting his fork down on his plate. "It’s just.. yeah, it's a bit odd that he's declaring his undying love for you out of bloody nowhere, but he's stopped badgering us, hasn't he? Nasty little ferret hasn't said a word to Harry for weeks! And that goes for me and Hermione, too!"

[Y/N] narrows her eyes at him. "So you think it's great that he's stopped annoying you at the cost of my suffering?"

"What suffering!" Ron exclaims. "He’s been treating you like a bloody princess!"

"Oh, why don't you just snog him yourself, then, if you think so highly of him?"

Ron’s jaw drops in shocked offense.

"Alright, that's enough!" Harry announces, reaching over the table to shove the two apart from each other. "Why doesn't one of you switch seats with me before you end up strangling each other?"

"I don't know, Harry," [Y/N]'s lip curls. "I might have to hold Ron back before he goes running off to his ferret prince—or should we just let him? Merlin knows he'd love to, won't you, Ronald?"

Ron’s teeth are gritted; his eyes dart around the food on the table as though looking for the most effective weapon. He seems to be choosing between a green apple and rhubarb pie.

Thankfully, Ron never gets to take his pick. The bell rings, saving everyone in the Great Hall from witnessing what could have possibly been a brawl between friends. "Come on, let's go," says Harry quickly, relief evident in his tone of voice as he ushers the pair to their feet. "Wouldn’t want to be late for class."

—

[Y/N] doesn't like Malfoy.

[Y/N] doesn't like Malfoy, but why does she find herself staring at him whenever she comes across him in the hallway the next day? Why, when Malfoy meets her gaze, does she look away and pretend to be immersed in something else?

And why in the bloody hell, when Malfoy playfully winks at her during Potions class, does she find it very, very hard not to smile?

She walks out of the dungeon classroom in a hurry with Ron, Harry, and Hermione, not wanting to spend a minute more in Malfoy's presence; she doesn't particularly enjoy being suddenly hyperaware of every move he makes, every little glance he sends her way when he thinks she isn't paying attention. It’s as though something in her system has gone awry. Is that why her heart feels like it's about to hop right out of her chest? Is that why she can't stop wondering what would've happened if she'd stayed at the Astronomy tower?

"Hey, wait up!” Harry calls loudly as they walk up the stone steps leading away from the dungeons and into the main hallway, which is bustling with students.

[Y/N], who had been walking far too fast in front of the three, looks back over her shoulder and sees that they're a few feet away. She stops, seemingly flustered, and waits for them to catch up.

"You look like you've wet your pants," says Ron.

"I’m not you, Ron," she retorts.

"Oh, can you two please stop bickering for once?" says Hermione, exasperated.

From behind the three, Draco Malfoy emerges from the potions classroom and begins walking up the stone steps. [Y/N]'s hands clench into fists at her side as she discretely presses her back to the stone wall at her sides.

The blond doesn't even as much as glance at Ron, Harry, and Hermione as he passes by them on the steps. [Y/N], however—once Malfoy has reached the step below the one she's standing on, he pauses, no less than two feet away from her, and quirks an eyebrow.

"What?" [Y/N] scowls, trying not to look at the strand of blond hair dangling in front of his eyes.

Malfoy’s gaze dances over her face. "Was it you?"

She meets her friends' eyes over Malfoy's shoulder. Ron and Harry have their eyebrows raised; Hermione looks concerned. [Y/N] takes a moment to compose herself—tries to force her heart back into her chest—before she folds her arms across her chest and looks at the Slytherin. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"At the Astronomy tower," Malfoy says, and moves up one step so that he's standing on the same one she's on. A foot away. "I heard someone last night, while I was waiting for you."

Oh, Merlin.

"You came, didn't you?" he presses on.

"No," [Y/N] lies, and hates how defensive she sounds. She shifts a little on her feet, her eyes skirting away to look at a random spot behind Malfoy. "I was.. at the library. Doing things of actual importance."

There’s a slight pause as Malfoy's nose wrinkles. "Must’ve been someone else spying on me, then," he finally says through a scoff, but [Y/N] knows disappointment when she sees it. He rolls his shoulders back and puts on his signature smirk, inclining his head towards her as he takes another step up the stairs. "Better hurry and give me an answer, [Y/N]," he tells her, grinning. "Before one of my admirers get to me first."

[Y/N] watches as he walks up the steps and disappears into the hallway.

"The library?" a voice says incredulously. She turns back to Ron, whose face is scrunched in disbelief. "No, you weren't! We were waiting for you there and you never came."

[Y/N] folds her arms across her chest indignantly but doesn't respond, instead walking up the stone steps.

"Malfoy said he was waiting for you at the Astronomy tower," says Hermione slowly as they trail after her; [Y/N] speeds up her pace. "Is that why you mentioned going there during dinner last night?"

[Y/N] emerges into the main corridor first. "No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did!" bursts Ron, sounding downright triumphant.

"Congratulations, Ron, you don't have the memory range of a teaspoon, after all," [Y/N] mutters, looking around. Malfoy is walking down the hallway a few feet ahead of them, Crabbe and Goyle at his side.

Ron ignores her. "I bet you did go. I bet you did spy on him—" And then he gasps, looking as though he's unearthed the secret of life. "Merlin’s beard, you really do fancy him, don't you?"

[Y/N]'s footsteps falter. Ron, Harry, and Hermione stop right with her.

Hermione is the only one who doesn't look stunned out of her mind. Looking between the two boys, she rolls her eyes and scoffs. "Honestly, is that so hard to believe?" says Hermione, frowning. "I understand that it's Malfoy and he is a prick, but [Y/N] is perfectly entitled to fancy whoever she likes." She turns to [Y/N]. "It’s fine, [Y/N], you don't have to feel guilty about it. Anyone would catch feelings if someone started doing such sweet things for them, even if it were someone like Malfoy."

"Blimey," says Harry, breathless. "Which part sealed the deal, [Y/N]? The pick-up lines? Or was it the cupcakes?"

[Y/N], who had been opening and closing her mouth like a fish blown out of water, finally stops trying to find words that just aren't there and instead drags her palm across her face in frustration. "I don't.." she says, sounding defeated, but really—now that she's faced with such confrontation, it's easier to admit to herself that maybe.. maybe she does fancy Malfoy.

Ron’s lips have split into a jubilant grin. ”I called it!" he says, smacking Harry's shoulder. "Bloody knew it!"

Hermione reaches out to rub [Y/N]'s back. "Don’t feel too bad about it, [Y/N]. I sort of knew—you looked at him differently after he confessed to you on the pitch."

[Y/N] sighs, realizing that no amount of denying it will convince her friends. Or herself.

She does fancy Malfoy.

Properly acknowledging it—finally admitting it to herself—is oddly relieving. She’s been keeping her feelings cooped up inside of her chest despite the fact they are so much bigger than her, and now that she's letting them burst free.. now that she's coming to terms with them..

Well. It’s not the worst feeling ever.

Ron is still beaming, looking as though he's won the lottery. And apparently, in a way, he has: "Fred and George said it'd take you a month longer to give in. I said it'd take you less—guess I’ve won myself two galleons!"

[Y/N]'s mouth falls open. "You bet on this?"

Ron raises his eyebrows, as though surprised to hear that she didn't know. "Uh, I and the entire bloody castle."

Struck by a sudden burst of both annoyance and confidence, [Y/N], scowling, detaches herself from her friends and strides down the hallway towards Malfoy, full of intent. He hasn't noticed her yet; his back is still turned, but she catches up to him easily. And when she does, she unceremoniously bumps her shoulder into his and grabs his hand, quickly interlacing her fingers through his.

"What the hell—"

Malfoy, obviously taken aback, tries to pull his hand away, sneering, until his gaze lands on [Y/N].

"Keep walking, Malfoy," she says scathingly, not quite looking at him.

Baffled, Malfoy stares at her, then down at their hands, which are now tightly interlocked between them. [Y/N] scowls resolutely at the hallway ahead of her.

And then Malfoy laughs, more out of disbelief than amusement.

"Keep walking," [Y/N] repeats, this time turning to look at him, fighting to keep her gaze indifferent. The last thing she wants Malfoy to know is that there is an onslaught of tiny little butterflies rampaging in her stomach and a tingly feeling spreading from their hands all the way up her spine and into her heart.

Malfoy’s lips tug up into a wide grin—a real one, [Y/N] thinks. Not an arrogant smirk or a deprecating sneer; one that she can't ever recall seeing. But now that she has, she finds herself wishing he'd do it more often.

[Y/N] tugs him along as she walks, feeling the stunned stares of her friends boring into her skull from behind. (Ron is going to have a field day about this.)

"So," Malfoy begins, and she doesn't have to look at him to know that he's still grinning down at her. "Changed your mind, haven't you?"

[Y/N] rolls her eyes; she doesn't fail to notice the way that the students they're passing by are staring at them, eyes wide, whispering to themselves. "Isn’t this what you wanted?"

Malfoy shrugs. "Among other things."

She side-eyes him, muttering, "Does that include snogging?"

He makes an amused sound at the back of his throat. "You said it, not me."

[Y/N] has to grit her teeth to stop the corners of her lips from tugging up. They turn a corner down the hallway, disappearing from both their friends' views (assuming they haven't followed them). At this thought, [Y/N] takes a brief glance over her shoulder—and sure enough, there's a redhead peeking out of a group of very confused Ravenclaws.

Cursing Ron Weasley inside her head, she turns her gaze back ahead of her. ”I have Charms class next."

Malfoy raises his brows. "And what do you expect me to do with that information?"

"Walk me there," says [Y/N] briskly.

She can practically feel the surprise radiating off of the blond next to her. A moment later, he throws his head back in a loud laugh. "And you want me to be late to Transfiguration? It’s all the way on the other side of the castle."

[Y/N] hums. "Can’t even do that for the girl you fancy?"

There’s a beat of silence. His grip on her hand falters a little as he says, voice still nonchalant and yet at the same time holding an undeniable sense of sincerity, "I could if I knew she wasn't leading me on."

"She isn't," [Y/N] says, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye.

Malfoy is staring at her with his brows pulled in together just slightly at the middle, giving off the impression that he's trying to decide whether or not she's being serious. He slows down his pace until he comes to a full stop, urging [Y/N] to halt alongside him until they're standing in the middle of the hallway, oblivious to the stares following them and the redhead a mere few feet away.

"How do I know this isn't a prank?" says Malfoy, lip slowly curling as he narrows his eyes at her, the first few traces of suspicion etching itself onto his face now that the whole ridiculousness of the situation has finally sunken in. [Y/N] can't blame him; her antics—suddenly marching up to him in the hallway, grabbing his hand and walking with him as though they've been doing it for years—all of it is uncalled for after having ruthlessly turned him down so many times before. But [Y/N] can't delve into a discussion of her conflicting emotions—at least not right now—so she hopes, at least for now, that he will take her word for it.

She clears her throat. "Well," she begins, looking down at their hands; Malfoy’s grip has gone slack. "If I wanted to hold your hand, I’d do it because I wanted to. Not because I wanted to get a rise out of you." She lets her gaze go back up to his, brows rising in familiar challenge. "I don't stoop that low, Malfoy. You’ve been in love with me for years—shouldn't you know that by now?"

There are a few seconds in which the blond standing before her still looks at her with a scrutinizing gaze, lips set into a thin, hard line and his eyes swimming with conflict that [Y/N] wouldn't have been able to see from afar, but sees in perfect clarity now that she's standing a mere foot away from him. But then, after what feels like ages, Malfoy nods, slowly, frown smoothing out into an expression of—could that be relief?

"I will be late for Transfiguration, you know," he says, lips quirking up into a grin.

[Y/N] laughs. (A real one, Draco thinks to himself.) This time she doesn't try to stop herself from smiling; just lets her lips do so of their own accord. It feels nice. Freeing. "Better just one of us than two, don't you think?" she says, mirroring his playful grin. "And besides, Goyle can stand in for you. You two do have quite the resemblance."

"Oh, sod off."

And it really is very odd, because everything about this shouldn't feel right; they've been enemies for the longest time, and a year ago, [Y/N] would have been revolted at the mere idea of ever coming close to Draco Malfoy—but it does. That is, it feels right. Like they've been this way for ages and this playful, harmless banter is the most natural thing.

Draco isn't perfect—Merlin, does he have a long way to go—but if he means to stop being a prat as long as [Y/N] is at his side, then she is willing to venture into whatever has formed between them.

And if this little bond is going to involve any more of this—this being her and Draco exaggeratedly swinging their arms between them as he walks her to Charms class with their fingers still intertwined, snickering, waiting for one of them to start complaining about their arm sockets hurting—then maybe it isn't the worst thing ever, after all.

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galvin-whoisleft · 2 years

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where there’s smoke || davey & aurora

“You scared me,” said Aurora, turning over one shoulder to squint at Davey through the darkness—doing her best to see him through the little light cast off by the porch light, while also trying to keep him from immediately seeing the lit cigarette clutched like a lifeline between her pointer and middle fingers.

She’d done her best, too, to keep from jumping when she was first startled by the sudden creak of the front door. It was a feat she only pulled off because of her assumption that it’d be Galvin, long wise her to her sneaky smoke breaks and, like clockwork, always seemingly there to back her up when she needed him, whether she knew she needed him yet or not. Aurora wasn’t escaping so much as she was recharging; a fact she had to keep reminding herself of, even though it was true.

It had been a long time since she could remember being self-conscious about what anyone thought of her, but Galvin had been so endearingly hopeful about her getting along with his family—she couldn’t help but carry some of that with her. It made it worse that she liked them so very much. She was sat on the bottom step of the porch, which put her only three-or-so-steps from the warm, bright, cluttered house she’d been welcomed into tonight without a string or red flag in sight. It was nerve-wracking enough to want to impress a boyfriend’s family on said boyfriend’s behalf. But the fact that she, too, wanted them to like her—genuinely like her?

Aurora took another deep drag from the cigarette before tossing it away from her, an orange ember speck against the sidewalk before it flamed out.

“Don’t ever take up smoking, Davey,” she said, ironclad irony in her voice. “It’s terrible for your health, and that’s without factoring in the mosquitos eating me alive out here.” Not for the first time that night—to her buried dismay—she wondered what he must think of her. Of her, and of HerAndGalvin.

She’d known from the moment she met the Cannons seeker that he was going to be an odd duck. Lovable, but odd. With time, she’d peeled back the layers and made herself at home beneath them: giving colors, nicknames, schedules to his various quirks and neuroses. That he was so widely known as The Dependable Galvin had been both the most comforting and intimidating part about getting to know him. And now, it was the most intimidating part of getting to know these people who had a twenty-something-year head start on her; that knew him best of all.

From what Galvin had told her himself, he wasn’t the type to hold hands under the dinner table. Or to laugh so hard at a joke his date told that he folded into her shoulder in front of everyone, burying his face in her neck until the laughter passed. Or to put down the dishes he was valiantly washing by hand—like she said, an odd duck—and snake his arms around her from behind when a song he knew she loved came on the radio, spinning her around and kissing the lyrics to the song into the back of her neck before getting back to business.

Aurora’s mother always used to say: women were usually addicted to the idea that they could change a man. But what happened when the man was already widely loved and probably didn’t need changing? She hadn’t given enough thought to how she wanted Galvin’s family to think of her, but it probably wasn’t as ‘the girl who literally may have driven Galvin crazy.’ (Not that she was complaining about any of it.)

“Sit. And tell me, young Davey,” she said, patting the empty space beside her, an offer holier than an olive branch. “About this Vritika.” A name Gladys clearly dropped by accident, and one Aurora probably would have missed entirely had the backtracking not been so dramatic. A conspiratorial smile played across Aurora’s lips; she liked dramatic, after all. “Could I take her in a fight?”

@savingdavey

#DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE #WITH THE TITLE #DO YOU GET IT #DO YOU GET THE JOKE #BECAUSE SHE'S SM--

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dear--charlie · 3 years

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Dear Charlie,

20 Oct 2021, 2:49pm

I write to you on the floor of my dad's bathroom. it might not be the best place to sit but I feel safe leaned with my back against the white door, the stupid brown tiles covering every inch of his bathroom that's been here for as long as I can remember. the stupid brown tiles that don't match the house, that have seen days upon days of countless crying, the stupid brown tiles that have had all our heads hit against at least once.

I don't know if I feel so stuck anymore Charlie but I don't know if I trust it so much. my mom didn't die back in June but she was really close. they pronounced her dead for 2 minutes and then my dad shouted at her and she came back alive. she's told everyone about how heaven is real and is a big garden with a white light. I think we've all heard the story at least 20 times.

she's changed Charlie. she's stopped working. she's suddenly so much nicer to everyone and has decided that she's going back to how she acted before she started hitting me and before she started telling us we were all the cause of her problems.

she also says she gets panic attacks when she leaves the house and I wanna sympathize with her but, at the same time when I was younger and told her how bad I struggled with constant panic attacks she called me a liar, an attention seeker and worst of all said I was just doing it to ruin her life. Why does she deserve sympathy for her panic attacks when she said that and hit me if I started having a panic attack in public?

anyways, back in late August kai and I almost broke up. I knew he was planning on leaving so I broke up with him first, on the night of us breaking up though, I phoned him and tried to ask if we could just change it to a break but he said no, I just had to trust he'd come back. I knew if I left him he'd never come back.

then both of us fell apart and didn't eat for days and relapsed with sh so I invited him over bc I know he values talking things through earlier and we decided maybe a break would be better. however he said something to me that's stuck, "if you ever get bad like this again, I'm gonna break up with you for good and won't come back". he's apologized for saying that nd said that he didn't mean it in a bad way. now I force myself to show no bad emotions around him so I'm not bad again and he won't leave.

the entirety of September I was allowed to speak to him once a day. after 7pm. then in October our break ended before the 7th because that's our anniversary. we've been together a year nd almost a month now Charlie.

things are getting better with him I think. my ed is getting worse but that's fine, I don't care anymore. people are now telling me Im so "small" and "tiny" and even xs clothes is big on me. it's weird to think that I wouldn't even dare look at an xs in the store before I relapsed. I used to instinctively go to pick out an xl or xxl would be even better. anything less and it'd cling to my body and make me look just like lumpy space princess from adventure time.

I want to say I feel small and tiny now but I still don't. i still want to continue until I'm small enough to be thrown around with ease.

I also planned on killing myself on the 13th of October but that never happened. I feel shit about it now nd wish I went through with it but it doesn't matter. I don't feel anything rn, I've just felt numb for weeks

when will things properly change for the better Charlie? I'm starting to doubt it ever will.

love,

#dear charlie #GB

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rotationalsymmetry · 4 years

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This is going to be about Kung Fu Panda and depictions of ordinary people in media. It might even start there. My partner and I rewatched the three Kung Fu Panda movies in four days. I think we needed that. They’re good movies. (We got started on it because Cinema Wins came out with a Kung Fu Panda 3 video; I recommend it.) One thing I want to say about the movies, is I think they do the background, “ordinary”, non-action characters well. The rabbits and geese and pigs. It’d be very easy to make them all be basically interchangeable. Faceless NPCs. And to not really get into their lives at all. And for the most part their lives aren’t in the movies in a big way. But to the extent that they are there, they’re people, with their own skills and interests and lives. They’re not just objects for the kung fu warriors to rescue. And this often gets worked into the action scenes? Early in the third movie, Po gets really excited that they’re fighting legends out of history, and pulls up a pig to do a sketch of the fight. The pig is clearly scared, but the pig does a rather impressive job all things considered. So, some animals in this world defend the valley, some draw. And some make music. And some maybe don’t do anything all that special -- they’re farmers, or they run a business like Po’s dad with his noodle shop -- but they give their kids piggy back rides. They have dumpling eating competitions. They have lives, and those lives matter. Sure, Po doesn’t want to work in a noodle shop all his life. But I think in the end, that’s presented less as working in a noodle shop is worse or lower status than being the Dragon Warrior, and more as just...it wasn’t right for Po. Po, personally, loved Kung Fu, Po had trouble fitting between the tables, Po was a little too big in more ways than one to be a good noodle shop guy. Much in the same way that he was too big to be able to do Kung Fu in the way that Shifu initially wanted him to, in more ways than one. Star Wars doesn’t have a good peace -- instead of ending with the heroes being happy because they can go home and go back to their peacetime lives, it ends with the heroes being happy because they won. Which is a very different kind of happiness. (And which requires there to always be more darkness to fight -- the First Order comes back, Palpatine was pulling the strings all along, etc.) In Kung Fu Panda, there is good peace everywhere, and the heroes work to protect it. The villains are always shown as being more destructive than the heroes, and especially as being more willing to destroy lives. (There’s multiple fight scenes where the heroes have to protect innocent bystanders from harm while fighting; when Shifu isn’t sure he can protect the valley he calls for an evacuation, twice. The heroes’ first priority is always protecting lives, not winning for winning’s sake, or even winning for the sake of defeating an abstract concept of evil.) The good peace in Kung Fu Panda is not primarily Po’s peace and the Five’s peace, but the peace of the bunnies and pigs and geese. (And the pandas.) Who have skills and abilities and lives that are no less important than those of the people protecting them. Po’s peace is a real peace too I think, even though it is a life of constantly being prepared for battle. He’s got friends, he’s got inner peace, he’s got a life he’s happy with. And if battle never showed up again, he’d still be the Dragon Warrior -- the kung fu master who defeated Tai Lung, the spiritual seeker who defeated Shen and attained inner peace, the teacher who mastered chi, defeated Kai, and became Master Oogway’s true successor. He can have all that even if the kung fu is just training and isn’t put to use. Because Kung Fu Panda isn’t just about defeating the bad guy. It’s about personal development -- learning skills, growing spiritually, finding out who you are -- where it just so happens that personal development is necessary to defeat a villain. (I’m probably going to get someone arguing that Star Wars is like that too -- that the battles are secondary to the personal journeys? Fight me. Star Wars has a pretense of spirituality and enlightenment, but it’s basically what’s in the title: a story about war, in space. And it never finds its way to a good peace.)

#it can still be fun #I like watching light saber duels too #I just don't think it has a satisfying resolution #kung fu panda #star wars critical #gah I need to figure out my tagging system for this stuff #media criticism #scenery characters

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radramblog · 3 years

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Adventures in the Forgotten Realms Commanders

Due to circumstances I won’t get into at time of writing (don’t worry it’s mostly good) I’ve been forced, dragged over, and required to actually fucking read all the new Commanders from Magic’s newest set, Adventures in the Forgotten Realms. I’ve only recently gotten deeper into D&D, I don’t know who like any of these clowns are (except Tiamat, obviously).

Also due to circmstances beyond my control (that are less good but understandable) my Commander night has been called off and I don’t get to play with my shiny new Cabal Coffers. It’s a bit sad, and it means I want to get my fix elsewhere.

What better way than to combine these two and just write about every AFR ‘mander? That’ll pass the time. There’s like, what, 30? I can manage that if I’m quick. Let’s get into it.

(No I’m not doing the precon cards I haven’t been staring at those all week)

Acererak the Archlich

The way I see this guy going is one of two things. You either do infinite Venture by making him free (not too hard in Black, what with Heartless Summoning, Carnival of Souls, etc.) and have a probably fine combo commander. For the record, infinite Venture does kill your opponents flat-out, BUT only because of Lost Mine of Phandelver’s Dark Pool room, and only if their life totals are lower than your deck count because you’re going to be drawing it in the process. That shouldn’t be an issue, but you never know.

The other option is just playing him fairly, which requires completing Tomb of Annihilation, and you just have a kinda mid Stax commander I guess? Eh.

Asmodeus the Archfiend

This Devil is clearly trying to echo prior Demons like Griselbrand and Vilis, but I’m not sure it’s going to be successful- if only because the mana investment means it’s a lot slower. And if he gets killed when you don’t have B up? Blown the fuck out. Add in no evasion and this is a God I’m happy to pass on.

Barrowin of Clan Undurr

Okay so this is kind of like Alesha, in less colours and more mana, if you manage to complete a dungeon. And there aren’t that many dungeon cards, so you’re probably playing some bad ones to make up for it. This is definitely a 99’er in that Esper Dungeon precon, and certainly not a commander.

Bruenor Battlehammer

In an attempt to solve one of Boros’s problems, Bruenor saves you a bunch of mana on equips and makes shit like Argentum Armor substantially more playable. He also gets kinda fuckin beefy with even just a few on him, hitting that 7 no matter what the first one is and 11 not long after. As far as Boros Boys go, you can do a lot worse!

Delina, Wild Mage

Didn’t we just get this card? Like, in C21? This is harder to make busted than Rionya, but it is cheaper and works with legends, so fair call. There’s not enough “advantage” dice mechanics in Red, certainly, so you can’t go probability-mad with this, but it’s pretty decent value. It also happens to be a Shaman, so it works with that new MH2 card, and that’s fun.

Drizzt Do’Urden

This guy has a lot of potential, and for added bonus, he has a cat! A lot of the cards that are good in this are the ones that are good in, say, Varolz, but honestly if you just want to play Selesnya Beatsticks then Drizzt might be the way to go. Can’t play him in Cats, though, unless you want to lose Kaheera, so.

Ebondeath, Dracolich

Yeah I don’t think this one was for this format? I mean it’s super recursive, and probably a really good candidate for a Homicidal Seclusion/Deadly Wanderings deck. I think we need one or two more of that effect to make it actually playable, but I still like the idea.

Wait why isn’t this fucker a skeleton? WoTC Pls.

Farideh, Devil’s Chosen

Look, I tried. I really tried, but there really just isn’t enough to make Farideh work yet. At least in black-border, as I think she’s probably one of the best silver-bordered commanders printed in a minute. A shame, because I sure do enjoy Tieflings, and the effect is legitimately solid if you can trigger it consistently.

Grazilaxx, Illithid Scholar

While I imagine it’s a perfectly solid commander in their own right, basically Mono-Blue Edric but not group-huggy, where this is going to really shine is in Ninja decks. Holy shit, this is so nutty for those. Honestly, ETB decks in general are going to like them, because the choice of either taking damage and letting them draw or letting them reuse a powerful ETB is pretty tough. I like everything about this, except the art, because I’m not into tentacles no thank you.

Gretchen Titchwillow

When Strixhaven came out, I thought Zimone was going to be the most boring Simic commander we’d ever see. But here comes Gretchen to outdo them.

Look, Simic can do good designs. Even at uncommon- Imoti, Moritte, and Eutropia are all super interesting in my opinion. But Simic being just draw and lands has become a meme, and I’m sick of it. Extremely so, for three main reasons- one, it’s boring, two, it’s been all over the place since WoTC decided +1/+1 counters being their only theme was bad (and, fair,) and three, it’s good.

Gretchen is the most boring card in the entire set, in my opinion, and I sure hope she isn’t a cool character in the lore because that’d be such a waste.

Hama Pashar, Ruin Seeker

There are 21 venture cards in Azorius, and some of them are even good. Most of the Room effects are pretty minor, however, save for some of the endgame ones (and copying Cradle of the Death God is pointless, Atropal is legendary), so copying them isn’t actually a huge amount of value. I’d still play this in Esper Venture, but I don’t think I’d build around it.

Icingdeath, Frost Tyrant

While this clearly isn’t built for this format, equipping this dragon with it’s own tongue is kind of a hilarious idea. You could do worse for Voltron decks, I guess, and in the 99 it’s both a thing to slap equipment on and an equipment itself- like a flying (and weaker) Halvar. Eh? I just wish the token wasn’t legendary- like yeah Flavour but this effect gets a lot worse when you can’t recur it. It’s rare that someone goes out of their way to kill an equipment that isn’t super busted, so Frost Tongue is probably hanging around for a while anyway.

Man, it feels awful if they bolt this one, huh?

Inferno of the Star Mounts

Okay this is fucking cool. It’s a Shivan Dragon with haste, and that ability is probably pretty feasible to activate- keep in mind Braid of Fire and Neheb and the like are in the format- and combined with a swing will just kill someone. In fact, when I saw this, my brain immediately started looking for ways to shrink it, just so you can get multiple 20-damage wallops in a turn.

…there aren’t very many. But still! Even if you can’t get to 20 multiple times in a turn, getting to 21 once or twice is pretty good!

Iymrith, Desert Doom

The fourth of our dragon cycle, because hey, it is Dungeons and Dragons. Iymrith reads basically identical to Dragonlord Ojutai, but without White- and for that kinda control deck, White is pretty nice to have. Iymrith can draw you more cards than Ojutai, but only if you’re low, in a blue deck, in Commander, so. With that said, a deck that just loads this with cheap auras/equipment might actually be pretty good, since they can load you back up on cards and keep the Voltron flowing, so, maybe? I’d honestly consider it if I didn’t already have Mono-blue Voltron as a deck.

Kalain, Reclusive Painter

Okay this is super interesting. He is, unfortunately kinda fighting with the RB precon face, Prosper, for the new RB treasure deck, but for an uncommon there’s a fair bit going on here.

Actually, wait, is there? I thought about this for another couple seconds, and I don’t think this card actually does that much. It’s one treasure, and it benefits you a little bit for doing something you frankly don’t really want to be burning treasures on? Like it probably plays a mean Marionette Master, but everyone does that.

There really aren’t any other RB Artifact commanders, though, aside from Prosper or a partner deck. So ehhhh? Why are more people playing this than, like, Bruenor?

Krydle of Baldur’s Gate

That’s a lot of words that don’t actually do a whole lot. I like the second ability, but Commander and especially Dimir aren’t hurting for evasion options. This is probably pretty good in Rogues, but that deck has a de facto best commander now, so. If this came out like, five years ago, it’d be kinda hype, but not anymore.

As an aside, I do kinda hate it when they just print a Tribal commander (or anything like this) that’s just miles and miles better than every other commander for that archetype, like with Anowon 2 or Edgar Markov or Anje Falkenrath. Wait….those are all vampires…….

Minsc, Beloved Ranger

Shivam Bhatt did a fucking excellent breakdown of this character’s lore on twitter, which I recommend reading- the history of D&D’s lore is fucking wild. As it is, this seems like a pretty fun Naya commander- there’s plenty of creatures that get way better if you make them large, even if targeting Boo seems kinda pointless.

Also, I need someone to explain to me why the “Top Cards” on EDHREC for this guy right now are, like, all combo cards.

WAIT NO FIGURED IT OUT, unlike Marath he doesn’t say X can’t be 0 so you can use him as a sac outlet, for fucks sake people.

Nadaar, Selfless Paladin

Hey remember all the things I said about the WB and WU dungeon cards? I mean, at least this guy could theoretically complete the dungeon on his own, but Mono-White is even more restrictive for what you could get, so. At least he draws a card every so often. And that anthem isn’t even remotely worth it, at all.

Old Gnawbone

Green eating up more of the colour pie, I see. Now to be fair, I’ve pondered Mono-Green artifacts for a while, and this is probably a better leader for that list than Oviya Pashiri (but…I like her….), but beyond that I’m not sure what you’re doing with this. I guess people playing Sakiko because they think she’s actually good and not because they like her have a new commander.

This is fuckbusted in the 99 of like a million decks though. So there’s that.

Orcus, Prince of Undeath

That…is so much mana. In a colour combo not especially great at garnering lots of it. The second ability scales fairly well, and it is a decent body on its own, but I don’t think this is going to be a particularly popular commander. Like, you have to pump 6 mana into this just to get a 2-drop back or to Infest the board? And that’s just the first time you cast it? Nahhhhh.

Oswald Fiddlebender

Artifact Pod? Yeah, okay, sure, that seems reasonable at two mana. Keeping this mono-white was a good idea, I can’t imagine how insane this’d be in blue. I’m no artifacts expert, I’m no pod expert, but this has to be busted, right? Like surely there’s an easy way to infinite this? Someone with more brains figure it out for me, but either way it’s still a bunch of value and also a tutor in the zone.

(convert two random 2-mana rocks or wellsprings into Basalt Monolith/Rings of Brighthearth, okay that’s a good start)

Shessra, Death’s Whisper

…ehhhhhhh. Okay, so, it’s a significantly worse Deathreap ritual in the command zone, and also a terrible Lure effect. Along with the flavour words on this taking up much more space than necessary, making the effects look much bigger and better than they are. Would it have hurt to give this deathtouch? Make it trigger on every end step? Lure more than once? I dunno, this just seems painfully weak to me. We’ve had an overabundance of Golgari commanders recently, to be fair- MH2 had 3, and before that was the enemy focused Strixhaven/C21, but that’s no excuse for this to be such trash- just look at Bruenor.

Targ Nar, Demon-Fang Gnoll

I hope you like Gnolls, because that’s gotta be the only reason you’re playing this. Hello Tuya Bearclaw/Syr Faren/im sure a bunch of other boring commanders, this is another one of you. This looks so bad next to the Gruul precon (which is apparently somehow the first Gruul precon) and, well, every other RG general from the past couple years (save, again, Tuya Bearclaw). Even the fuckin Walking Dead guy is cooler than this.

The Tarrasque

Disappointment part one over here is at time of writing the only commander from this set with a fat zero decks. Considering there were like 10 commanders at that number when I last checked, people are clearly trying out the set, so The Tarrasque being abandoned is particularly sad. It just…doesn’t do anything? It’s the fucking Tarrasque, and it doesn’t have trample, or a fear ability, or anything? Ward 10 is cute, basically being hexproof unless they have infinite mana (or an uncounterable spell), but really? I want more than this idiot for my 9 fucking mana commander. Ugh.

Tiamat

I believe I’ve talked about Tiamat before, when she got spoiled, but I can’t be arsed finding that and dredging it up. I’m still disappointed, basically, especially since I’ve now read her statblock and know what she actually does. They could’ve given her a cool ability per head like Cromat, or had her recur like she does in the lore, or something. I genuinely would have preferred if she was an Emrakul-style massive game-ender (with a no-reanimation no bullshit clause) than this. How utterly meh.

Trelasarra, Moon Dancer

This is literally just Ajani’s Pridemate but Selesnya and in the zone. Also you scry. Sure? It does also have two relevant creature types I guess, and they’d probably be good in a Soul Sisters deck. But it’s not like Selesnya was hurting for Lifegain commanders- this is basically just Lathiel but much leaner and voltron-ier.

Varis, Silverymoon Ranger

Wait you can’t even play this in Esper Venture, fuck. With Flash effects, you can start clearing dungeons well quick enough, but like, for what, a Wolf? And these defensive keywords aren’t getting you anywhere either. Blegh.

Side note- I’m a big fan of tokens, and collecting various token arts, and I was extremely disappointed when I found out that the Wolf token from this set is just…the Zendikar one again? They didn’t reuse the 3/3 Angel or the Goblin or even the Zombie, why just that one? Something must have happened behind the scenes here.

Also….Silverymoon? That sounds like shit.

Volo, Guide to Monsters

Hey, I know you, you’re from that one book. As much as Anti-Tribal sounds fun, I’m pretty sure this just turns into generic Simic value. Copying things is fun, I suppose, though not working with Legends hurts. I also appreciate that this supports playing a bunch of weirdo cards or ones that have fallen out of favor because they have more unique creature types- Anphin Mutineer, Acidic Slime, and Diluvian Primordial all seem like a lot of power here.

That said, is anyone ever letting this fucker stick around for a turn?

Xanathar, Guild Kingpin

Hey, I know you, you’re from that one book. This card is completely awful to play in webcam-commander, so it’s a good thing we’re all getting vaccinated, right?

So this is UB Gonti, I guess? And also unironically not the worst combo commander, since it stops people from playing spells on your turn in a very White-like effect. Add in some Lantern-style effects and you can get a real stew going with this guy. He looks like a lot of fun- and I’m sure he’ll end up popular as a result. Well, that and being on the cover of an expansion book gets you a lot of notoriety.

Zalto, Fire Giant Duke

Our final card, our final Venture card, and the only red one. So, uh, there are literally 4 other Venture cards in mono-red, and at least one of them is complete dogshit, so I can’t imagine this being very good. Also, it’s an Enrage trigger on a 3 toughness 5-drop? Far from ideal. I guess it’s a 7 power trampler for 5, but that’s kind of faint praise to damn with. Maybe if someone makes 5C Venture, or if Giant/Barbarian tribal feel lacking, then this guy can find a home.

Shoutout to the exactly one person who built this deck, by the way. I see you, Elder Demon Highlander, and your 100ish views on your deck tech.

And that’s the lot of them. Honestly, a lot more misses than hits, but that’s perfectly okay by me. 30 legends in a set is a lot, not to mention the 12 from the precons, and we’ve had so many actively playable legends recently that I’m fine with, like, half of these being trash. Trash is more fun anyway! Get yourself a fuckin Varis, why not.

Okay but seriously though who’s biting the bullet and building Tarrasque first? It’s not going to be me.

#ramble #mtg #commander #edh #mtgafr #adventures in the forgotten realms

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years

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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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shikai-the-storyteller · 4 years

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I absolutely didn’t go back through and edit this at all and hardly any of this is verbatim but I tried to take notes on some of what Mae Catt said during her stream if anyone is interested!

EDIT: Here’s a cleaner post with most of the Q&A.

She says she doesn’t want to yuck anybody’s yums re: ships. She seems Arcee and Grimlock more as friends, but she didn’t say they can’t be in a relationship

They fell in love with Perceptor so they wanted him on the “End of the World fighting the Quintessons” team

They had to dedicate a lot of effort into Dead End b/c it takes time to send in info for modeling a character and deciding on their alt mode

She was pitching Obsidian from Beast Machines really hard. She didn’t know what his personality would be it was just a “Look how cool he is!” sort of thing

Thought it’d be fun to have someone pessimistic like Dead End be on the team

“According to us, Drift did not make it, but I fully endorse whatever you want”

“The brand team had grown up on the toys as we had grown up on the toons, so we just wanted to make the best thing imaginable.” That’s nice

Rodimus was never considered for the show “it’s been covered to death”, but they were adamant about portraying Hot Rod as someone who wanted to be a leader

Hot Rod is someone who is learning to be a leader

“Please don’t tell JRO I forgot about Whirl” re: talking about why they chose each character for the “Anti-Quintesson” team

Q: Re: Why did Drift try to kill Roddy A: They said they needed a double-agent and they needed someone who would (seemingly) kill Hot Rod

She loves that Optimus is just trying so hard to rebuild Cybertron, I just want society to start rebuilding

Q: Since you mentioned Optimus's death... he didn't seem to have a plinth in "our" Matrix realm. Does that mean the list of Primes works differently? Like are the 13 more of a dynasty, rather than all being a group together? A: They decided Optimus would be in the Alt! Universe matrix because they wanted to show he was dead. Logical backflips because he needed to be among the 13 to talk to Windblade.

She says Starscream’s death hurt her most

They didn’t want to kill people off willy-nilly for shock value

"The audience will fall in love with Slipstream so she has to die" LMAO

She almost wanted Starscream to emerge from the Judge heads untouched but she’s ultimately glad that idea got shot down

Dead End’s eyes are white

She’d love to have a MTMTE Magnus / Minimus included. She wished and prayed to have Frenzy and Rumble

They wanted Jazz to be a lady!!!!!!!

These characters are like grown ups (kinda) with their own lives that we don’t see. Lots of stuff happening between episodes

“Rumble and Frenzy are always considered in my heart, but there wasn’t enough time or space or assets to do so”

“Alt Soundwaves also had their own Laserbeaks. I wonder if the scientist would’ve taken them out. He might’ve just gotten rid of them.”

“A lot of intelligent life is inherently mechanical” explaining why so much of the life we saw in the show were robots

She would’ve liked to have the other shows show up (TFP, TFA, G1, Shattered Glass) but they don’t have those assets or budget. “This will quickly become unclear to audiences who aren’t (you people).” They couldn’t have all these references when some of their audience wouldn’t get it

“Why does anyone collect what they collect? That’s a really angry dad who’s got five children and he plays music. Gotta have that” --re: the Scientist and Soundwave

Knock Out was considered but every Transformer under the sun was discussed at some point in the Writer’s room.

Developing Sky-Byte’s character was simultaneous with Jetfire’s character, "We knew we wanted Sky-Byte to be a poet, and we wanted him and Megatron to be chummy”

From the getgo they didn’t want any humans distracting from the Transformers

Q: Is Megatron dead? A: “In discussions we wanted to kill him. Wanted to do a reverse Optimus death. However, in the final product, I kinda enjoy the ambiguity rather than the final decision. Can’t remember if we were decisive about that in the script.”

She wanted them to have IDW Tarn in there “OBVIOUSLY (the perfect decepticon) should look like this guy. A faceless mindless Decepticon that only serves Megatron”

Q: Is Dead End a good boyfriend? A: Dead End is a work in progress, but maybe Percy is patient enough to get him there

Q: Is Astrotrain a good boyfriend?” A: “No, no...he’s not a good person, really”

“When I was desperately trying to save Starscream’s life even though I brutally murdered Slipstream--” LMAO She wanted Starscream to have amnesia and she says she wanted to have a redeption arc. She wanted him to have a Windblade shard and have it be kind of like Castaway, where he only talked to it (and the shard only had 5 phrases it could say) and eventually Bee would befriend him Wanted to write Starscream as an abuse victim who expected the worse of the Autobots, but she wanted him to warm up slowly

Wanted a Starscream and Optimus episode where he’s like “you did your best and that’s what counts”

Q: Is Percy a good boyfriend A: “Absolutely--WAIT HOLD ON. He’s very blunt, he doesn’t mince words, if you can handle his bluntness then you’re good. He is what he is and you have to deal with him.”

Q: Is Soundwave a good boyfriend? A: Soundwave is not a good boyfriend. He’s a good casual romance but he’s not a good boyfriend. Soundwave would be a terrible listener. He hears a lot but he’d tune you out.

Percy did permanently take over Mac’s bar

She really wanted Obsidian and Transmutate to be in the show.

If Thunderclash was in the show he and Jetfire would HATE each other. Thunderclash would be a rival reality star (maybe) to Media Fire

Fave Episode was “I Am the AllSpark” b/c of that Megatron and Starscream dialogue Also S2 04 Soundwave and Shockwave

Transmutate would be more like the uprising version (?) but modeled more on the BeastWars version

The Starscream & Megatron beatdown was super severe and they were like “holy frick they’re really going for it” when they saw the boards for it

She likes the Windblade / Slipstream ship

Her favorite VA is Jeremy Levy, he’s a really cool guy

She thinks Starscream and Cheetor could become (not necessarily friends, but connected?) because of their connection to the All Spark

Describes Starscream as an “Awful gremlin” several times

They say Megatron didn’t actually kill Starscream, just really beat him down hard

“Don’t take things I say as the end all be all”

She doesn’t think Bee would be a Prime, Windblade and Hot Rod would be a better Prime. He wouldn’t want to be a Prime. He’s the #2 to Primes!

With unlimited budget combiners could’ve been included, but it doesn’t seem like they thought about it

Astrotrain and the Insecticons are from Megatron X’s universe

Megatron’s priorities changed when he saw his doppelganger. Realizing he was a horrible tyrant, that scared him enough to return and not kill Optimus and make peace no matter what.

She thinks Cliffjumper and Bee wouldn’t get along, solely because of the IDW2 comic stuff

Got 26 episodes for season 3 because they got the 4-part movies

Megatron cares about his troops but not in a way that we would notice that care

Wasn’t a HUGE die-hard TF fan when she got into the series but she was a bigger GI Joe fan, she reread a bunch of things and did a lot of research

Cut joke: S2 E5 Megatron and OP finds the All Spark Decepticons and Autobots popping all over the world, Soundwave pops into Brazil where there’s a music festival and he’d crash the concert and hang out. He likes EDM the most?

The Titans want to be cities. They want citizens. They want to be lived in, that brings them joy (ouch)

Q: How did the Decepticons learn to stream? A: Because they’re deceptive! He knew he should dedicate some time to winning the hearts and minds of humans. Starscreams’ funeral was not the first time they streamed Optimus would use the official media channels, not a streaming service. Megatron would try to speak more directly to the people.

From the conception, the show wasn’t going to have humans

She thought people would ship Dead End / Percy but it wasn’t until she saw art that she started shipping them

Q: Is Optimus the type of streamer who would take 10 minutes to figure out how to un-mute his microphone A: Optimus is a dad. He has no idea what’s going on re: streaming. Optimus would say embarrassing news while Bee and Hot Rod are in the middle of streaming

Doesn’t ship Bee with anyone, she sees him as a little brother

Randolph put Rack ‘n Ruin in the show.

AcidStorm is genderfluid

Cold Construction doesn’t exist in this show. Maybe there’s one jet mode all the seekers really like

We have Mae Catt to thank for Whirl

Percy didn’t transform because not a good time to turn into a microscope while you’re trying to save your planet from Quintessons

If she were a transformer she’d want to be a stealth bomber. She’s 5′3 so she says she’d probably actually be a motorcycle like Chromia

They killed Prowl because it was Shadow Striker doing the killing and he’s a self-sacrificing lieutenant.

Enjoyed writing Starscream most, Clobber and Hot Rod became a joy, S2 E4 was her first one, it was fun getting into Hot Rod’s voice. She said it was hard doing Optimus’ voice, she’d always pass it off to someone to look at it.

She loves the idea of Wild Wheel robbing Astrotrain in train-mode, totally wild west-style

One of her proudest things was turning Lugnut into a gal

They wanted to include more female characters

They love Cosmos, she has a little toy of him. R2D2 but a transformer! They loved having her in the show

Blurr really was the fastest

Maccadam looking like a buff Rung was just a strange coincidence

Q: Megop rights? A: “Oh absolutely, duh”

Says we absolutely SHOULD write fanfic. Fanfiction made her into the writer she is today, she says you should write it

There’s a lot between episodes, people living their lives and characters living on the ship that don’t pop up in the show

She wrote non-stop Matrix fanfic from 12-20 years old, she learned a lot thanks to writing fanfic

Uses “They” pronouns for Rack ‘n Ruin but they both use “he”

Sad that Skywarp didn’t get a speaking line

Re: Starscream’s redemption arc: She wanted Starscream to have amnesia if they went the “he comes out of the ruins of the judge totally fine”. “A redemption arc needs to be facilitated by a character acknowledging that what they did was wrong. He would have a laundry list of excuses for everything, even if there was all that evidence to the contrary, but needs to acknowledge that reasons don’t matter because people got hurt. Needs to intend to do better. Let them try and let them fail, they don’t need to 180, it’s hard work to be a better person.”

Shadow Striker is taller than Optimus or is his height. She loves the gender-neutral designs for a lot of characters

She’s not going to say whether Ratchet finished medical school or not Laughed at the "i don't believe that man has ever been to medical school" comment

Q: How would you feel about a female Optimus Prime? A: [GAY LAUGHTER] “So do you turn Optimus Prime into a woman, or do you take characters like Elita One and uplift her? I would want to lean more into giving Elita One more oomph, I do love how Optimus doubts himself and if he’s worthy of being a Prime.”

Says Rack ‘n Ruin are probably the Prime in that one weird universe lmao

Loves the idea that Transformers have siblings / families

She doesn’t think Cybertronians celebrate birthdays. “Why would you celebrate being alive for 4 million years that sounds like a nightmare.” She says that people would be celebrating milestones if nothing else

She’d kill to have Perceptor meet the other stunticons

She says she doesn’t post fanfic as much anymore. Sends them to Natalie as love letters (Ghost Busters fics specifically)

In a world where you had unlimited budget it’d be fun if Cybertronians were constantly shape-shifting and changing their forms, they’d like having Transformers who “grew a beard” and decided to “shave it”

Re: Ratchet and Medical school: she wants a “I choose to believe Ratchet has never been to medical school” shirt

Natalie (her GF) said hi

She doesn’t understand cycles or astrocycles, she doesn’t understand the weird Transformers time stuff. (mood)

Natalie explained how ghost traps work and it was a delight "You're basically making a pocket dimension, that's how you capture ghosts" “The Technology for a ghost trap is like magic and science”

Maecatt's bringing all her TF toys over to the camera

Q: Elita prime when? A: All the time, in my heart!

Q: Why are you so mean to Percy? A: He's so mature and pragmatic that he can take it, and is willing to take one for the team bc he understands that it's what he needs to do. Yes, he’s calmly feral.

Yes to the hurt/comfort Deadceptor fanfic joke answer

She jokingly says she's willing to buy Cyberverse fanart prints

“Arcee was fun to figure out because there’s an extra bit of pressure to develop a female character, there is extra pressure to do it well since it’s representing a different community (not that women are different species) more representation is needed. “What kind of woman can our Arcee be?”” Scared to write her poorly, but they realized she could be a fun dynamic duo with Grimlock, someone who could keep up with him, not a “girl” version of him, but someone who could stand on her own two feet

Collecting Soundwave because Soundwave is COOL. Wouldn’t you collect a single father of 5 who carries them around in his chest?

Shockwave altered his vibes to have maximum bad vibes to destroy the All Spark

Rebooting the franchise: she’d maybe do beast wars or something

Skullcruncher is a lady! She misses Mac but Percy takes good care of her

She loved Beast Wars Inferno, she loved that Inferno called Megatron a Queen. It was played as a joke because the 90s weren’t very socially conscious, but she liked that Megatron never corrected him or beat him down

She wanted to have Lightbright and Nickle in the show

"Maybe Drift is alive, maybe he's rethinking his decision and he'll come back later"

She said it's hard talking about writing a show because you're designing the experience and you have to make sometimes what sounds like cold and pragmatic decisions (eg: "we need a cold and spunky female") which sucks, but they need to balance out the show. She says she'd never do that just for the sake of doing it, but it's part of something that they do need to be aware of while working on a show “Starts from a weirdly cold pragmatic place, but we try and put truth in it”

Q: Is Skullcruncher Percy's bouncer now that he's running Maccadam's? A: Oh totally

She felt bad about the writing thing because she says "you could throw a rock in California and you'd hit a writer / director or whatever" but she says she really likes being an authority on things now, even if it’s weird

She said Drift would've been helpful in S3 for sure, maybe he'd come up with Repugnis

Q: If Tarn is the perfect Decepticon who's the perfect Autobot A: Someone with a Firetruck alt mode, Autobot insignia as a face. Nat and her talked about it a lot. She says Optimus SHOULD be a fire truck, it makes the relationship between him and Ratchet a little more fun since Ratchet is an ambulance, and Optimus has an AX. It just makes sense! She agreed that the perfect Autobot would be Thunderclash after the chat said that

“If you put the proverbial budget-gun to my head, I’d keep Unicron in planet-mode because it’s more mysterious, but I want both alt modes”

Her favorite Megatron is Beast Wars Megatron

They didn’t want to go the Unicron route because everyone goes that route

Q: What sort of documents DID Optimus work on in the archives? A: Probably historical archives and working on all the Primes. Something like the French / American revolution equivalent, which informed his speech writing for Megatron and his own ethics. (NICE)

She doesn’t like Sky Lnxy’s design, it’s creepy. “He talks in the G1 episodes and the voice makes it worse.” She can’t get over his face

“Found” the social awkwardness for Optimus. Optimus depicted as a father figure in S1 because it’s from Bee’s perspective, S2 / S3 they were able to explore more and found the limits and found it was hard to maintain that level of heroic dialogue. Optimus would feel awkward about it too. Randolph did an impression of Optimus’ speech. “He can’t not be in war-mode” :(

Q: Were Optimus and Megatron friends ever, or did they just work together on the speech stuff? A: Oh hell yes, I think [the story] is always enhanced when they’re friends and when Optimus really believes in what Megatron was working on. Optimus’ rejection of Megatron is what pushes him over the edge, his best friend rejecting him pushes him into a place where he becomes a tyrannical person.

Q: Does Maccadam know we love him? A: *puts hand over heart and looks into the distance* Yes

“Who knows where Dead End ended up” then backtracks and says “Wait that sounds flippant”

Soundwave’s favorite Earth song is Despacito

Q: What's the best selfie Arcee's ever taken A: Mae Catt loves the one with the giraffe. She likes the idea of Arcee having a bunch of human friends

Q: What do the Transformers think of the Florida Man? A: They can’t really tell the difference between humans, they don’t really get it. It just sorta looks like all the normal stuff they see on Earth (or something)

Q: Who's the Florida Man of the Transformers A: Rack ‘n Ruin or Skybyte. But he’s too nice hmmm.

Leaned into the wackiness of Wheeljack because of the VA

Q: What does Optimus do when he's not giving speeches / being a leader when they were all hanging out on the ARK? A: I think he reads, he seems like a heavy reader. It’d be cute if he read really bad Earth romance novels. He seems like a guy who needs a break from everything.

Q: Does Optimus have hobbies? A: Not to borrow from Rung, but doesn’t it seem like Optimus would make model ships? Very quiet, very focused detail-oriented hobby. Oh duh, he also plays basketball.

“I’d love to see more jets [who aren’t our usual gang] and find out all jets are kinda snobby”. Kaon and Tarn would be fun, it’d be cool to make up places.

(Someone asking if Optimus would read 50 Shades of Gray, someone else saying “They’d take it the wrong way because Transformers turn gray when they die”)

Everyone on the Autobot side are friends with each other.

Q: Does Megatron do anything for fun or is he too angry? A: I want to say he’s too angry, he has fun beating people down but I don’t think he’s had fun for a long time

Q: Were you surprised that Jake Tillman was in his 20s listening to his Optimus the first time? A: Jake Tillman was a vine-r she listened to a ton. She’d heard him when he was in his teens

MaeCatt loves that Shadow Striker saved Windblade’s body and kept her safe

Q: what was most important to you personally to put out in each episode? like humor/characterization/arcs A: Wanted to make sure she didn’t write dialogue that was condescending, wanted to be true about the character. Needs to be true to the characters (and gay)

Transformers probably don’t know what memes are. They know what they ARE, but they don’t get it. They wanted Hot Rod to be super into Earth culture (winning races and driving off before humans could realize no one was in the car), but they never had time to really get into that.

Wound up in the Cyberverse writer’s room thanks to her agents, says she was the only person who gave a crap about GI Joe stuff, the executives were so sweet and let her chat, and they said she wasn’t a good fit for the current live action project so they sent her to the animation side, they sent her to Michael Howzer and they hit it off talking about GI Joe stuff. She was a post PA, someone who helped editors finish things for TV, got a call with an offer.

#i talk #Cyberverse #Mae Catt #I'm watching Cyberverse #Transformers #Cyberverse Spoiler /#Primordial Robot hell

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another-rogue-trevelyan · 3 years

Text

Five favorite writing bits from 2020

I was tagged by @kunstpause and @potatowitch thank you so much for this tag! It was fun to reflect on my writing from this year. I only really started in July, so I’m looking forward to things to come!

Mostly, this will be passages from my Cullen/Trevelyan fic, but there is a Greedfall excerpt that I technically think I wrote last year???

Under the cut because this got long

Sides of the Coin (unpublished as of 1/21)

“Kurt, clearly I’m useless today. Perhaps we should try again tomorrow. I’m sure I have enough bruises for one day.”

“Anyone who wants you dead won’t care if you’re distracted and bruised. I’m not letting you get yourself killed because you’re having an off day. I can’t always be there to watch your back. You need to be able to save yourself. Now raise your blade and try it again.”

She lunged toward him, but he easily parried the strike, which had been performed more in irritation than any thought that it may be a good idea.

“Still sloppy.” He advanced on her, and Corinne barely managed to swat away his strikes with her blade, stumbling backward on exhausted legs.

“Kurt…”

“Come on Green Blood, defend yourself! I know I taught you better than this! What would your uncle think of this performance?”

She swung hard, meeting Kurt’s blade with unexpected force and pushing him back. She advanced on the offensive, landing blow after blow as he frantically parried aggressive strikes.

“Corinne-“

His unusual use of her name did nothing to dissuade her assault as she hailed down upon him. She was an indomitable storm, striking mercilessly as Kurt did his best to block without harming her.

“Corinne, what are you-“

“Stop… treating me…. like a…. child!” she panted through her onslaught.

“I’m not!” Kurt yelled as their blades clashed. They pushed against one another, eyes meeting across the steel. “I’m treating you like someone I don’t want getting killed!”

“You’re talking to me the same way you did when I was fifteen! What are you going to do, tell on me to my uncle? Go ahead! He’s months away by sea!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!” Kurt shoved hard, both of their blades swinging wildly to the side as they both stumbled backward. “I don’t understand why you’re so angry!”

“Because I am a grown woman, Legate of the Congregation of Merchants, and the only reason Constantin hasn’t destroyed the colony yet, and you’re talking to me like a teenager with her first blade!”

“Because you’re fighting like a teenager with her first blade!”

Hearts Like Lions, Chapter 18

“I’ve been told you were romantically involved with the Empress.”

“I didn’t take you for a gossipmonger, Inquisitor,” Briala said, smiling sadly.

“Is it true?”

“Would it be so terrible if it was? It is lonely at the top, Your Worship - something it seems you know well. Is your own Commander not warming your bed?”

“My personal affairs are not threatening Empires.”

“Aren’t they?”

Hearts Like Lions, Chapter 17

Evelyn looked him over, sensing the dread that filled him. Though he insisted otherwise, the group that had accosted him had shaken him. If she could help it, it wouldn’t happen again.

“Cullen, what if I told you there was a way to keep them off of you?” She looked up at him nervously, and Cullen’s brows knit together in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

Evelyn pulled the silken kerchief from her breast pocket, running her thumb over the embroidered lettering.

E.T. Modest in Temper, Bold in Deed.

Bold, indeed.

Hearts Like Lions, Chapter 3

Cullen hastily took the reports from the scout and set about finding a quiet corner of the Chantry to work in. Ordinarily he’d prefer to work outside, but he had been waiting for the reports from the Hinterlands since the Herald… no, Evelyn... and her team had left weeks ago, and their importance required a focus only a quiet room could provide.

Cassandra’s was on top. Unsurprisingly, her reports were clean and concise, detailing their endeavors and findings in the form of an organized list. Her information was useful, and Cullen took note of anything he may need to pass on to Josephine and Leliana. As he copied down the details, he noticed Cassandra’s final entry, written below her other notes.

Our arrival at the Crossroads was met with resistance from rebel mages and Templars. The Herald was pinned beneath a Templar and held by the neck. I was able to stop the Templar, but the Herald suffered minor bruising. After a week of fighting beside her, I have determined her lost footing was not a mistake. The Herald is an extremely well-trained rogue.

Cullen stared at the report, as though his gaze could bring further explanation. One of the first rules of combat training was to never let your enemy take you to the ground, especially for rogue fighters, who often wore lighter armor. He pulled out the next report, hoping it would contain more information.

The next came from Solas, who had thoroughly described the area, citing historical sites, locations of natural materials, and possible locations to camp. It was actually quite useful, but didn’t answer his question about the incident with the Templar. That was until he realized the pages had stuck, and there was one more note on the final page.

Evelyn suffered a minor injury to the neck caused by an altercation with a rebel Templar. Though she claimed to not be bothered by it, she moved her head tenderly, and the discoloration turned to dark bruising. I applied an elfroot salve to the affected area that evening, but there was not much that could be done for it. It has been healing well on its own.

Solas

Cullen flipped immediately to the next report, hoping to find something else.

Curly,

Have I mentioned that I hate the wilderness? The Ferelden cold bites as harshly as its war dogs. It has been two weeks since we parted with civilization. Since then, it has been nothing but hastily made camps. Rams feed on the grasses of rolling hills, while their predators lurk in hidden caves beyond view…

Cullen groaned. Varric’s report was far thicker than the others. His clean yet elaborate scrawl continued for pages. While entertaining, it made it difficult to find the information he needed. He skimmed through until he found what he was searching for.

When we arrived at the Crossroads, we were attacked from both sides by mages and Templars alike. Our team was caught in the middle, and neither group cared to differentiate between us and the enemy. They even went so far as to turn hostile against Inquisition soldiers and refugees. A Templar almost killed a refugee woman, but Evelyn tackled him to the ground at the last moment, giving her enough time to escape and saving her life. Unfortunately, once on the ground, the Templar was able to pin Evelyn down by the throat. The Seeker managed to pull him off and kill him before things could get worse, but the Herald was bruised for days. Trust me when I say we need to watch her, Curly. I’ve seen firsthand what this world does to heroes.

Hearts Like Lions, Chapter 10

“Of course,” Evelyn said, intently picking lint from her sleeve. “I’ll be down in just a moment.” Once they were gone, Evelyn looked toward the floor, appearing far more sullen than she had just moments prior.

“Is something wrong?” Cullen asked. Evelyn sighed.

“It’s Alexius’s judgement. It’s one thing in the field, when someone attacks you - when you know it’s you or them. But to sit on a throne and condemn… What Alexius did was terrible, but he only wanted to save his son. I can’t say I don’t understand. Sometimes I wonder if I’d have done the same, in his place. But then I remember that future…” she placed her hands on her hips, biting her lower lip and trembling with rage. “It was horrible, Cullen. They imprisoned our friends - used their bodies to mine red lyrium. It infected everything! Then they tortured Leliana, destroyed the Inquisition, and I didn’t know what happened to my family, or what happened to you, and I… Dammit!” As she dabbed a tear away with her glove, Cullen impulsively wrapped his arms around her. He did so awkwardly, at first, but then he relaxed, resting his chin atop her head as Evelyn eased into him.

“Why didn’t he attack me? Why couldn’t I have killed him then, in the heat of battle, without having to worry about whether or not it was right? And now I don’t know if I can…”

“You can,” Cullen said softly. “I know it won’t be easy, but you can.” Evelyn breathed deeply, allowing the comforting scent of oakmoss to calm her.

“I’m sorry,” she said when she finally pulled back, immediately missing the comfort his arms had brought. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“Don’t be sorry, Evelyn. It’d be more concerning if nothing troubled you.”

“Tell that to my parents,” she said sadly, gazing at her boots. Cullen gently tilted her chin upward with his hand, guiding her eyes to him.

“You can do this. I’ll support whatever you decide. And I heard from a reliable source that the kitchen staff have been baking cakes all afternoon, so when it’s all over we’ll get you a slice of cake and a glass of that wine Josephine hid in here. Alright?” He slid his hand through her hair and Evelyn laughed, sniffling a bit.

“I do love cake. But no more than one glass of wine. I’m a bloody lightweight.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Thank you, Cullen.” Evelyn smiled up at him, feeling a bit better. The gaze changed when she realized just how close they were, his hand resting on the back of her neck, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from wandering to the scar on his lip. Her heart pounded as she realized he had done the same, and the desire to feel his lips on hers consumed her.

Then she remembered where they were.

How long had it been since she last had a man in her bedroom? Alone? And this was not just any man. It was Cullen. Cullen, who she looked forward to seeing each day, who she thought of frequently in the field, who had cared for her after the fall of Haven, who she worried for at night. There was no denying she cared for him, and if the look in his eyes was any indication...

The thought made her nervous, and she glanced toward the bed and back to him, cursing herself as he followed her glance. He blushed furiously when he realized where she had looked, and Evelyn felt the heat rising in her own cheeks as they pulled away.

“Perhaps… we should…” Cullen spluttered.

“I… should get down there,” Evelyn managed.

“Of course.” Evelyn started toward the door, then turned to find Cullen still looking after her.

“You should come.”

“Right,” Cullen said, quickly following.

Tagging @kemvee @noire-pandora @hawkeish @musetta3 and anyone else who wants to!

#tags #another rogue trevelyan fanfiction #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dragon age fanfiction #Greedfall #inquisitor x cullen #cullen x trevelyan #cullen rutherford #commander cullen

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jjkpls · 4 years

Text

starry eyes - jjk drabble (PG)

> genre : angst fluff comedy drabble, harry potter!au

> pairing : jeon jungkook x reader

> words : 1.4k

> warning : strong language, unfinished project

« What the fuck is this?! »

The guy throws the magazine down on the table, with such burning rage that it sends your thermos flying away. You’re lucky you’re so worried that a nargle might steal your butterbeer that you make sure to always keep it shut close. Otherwise, the table along with all of your parchments and study books would have been ruined.

When you look up, the guy is standing there, shoulders still wide and square, chest rising and falling fast, not an ounce of his anger has been washed out. Yet you see, from the nervous flickering of his eyes -the ones you know well- that he is embarrassed by the ruckus he’s caused. He looks at the thermos for a little while, his hand reaches on reflex to pick it back up but he stops midtrack, keeping his hand tucked in the pocket of his emerald robe. « It’s a magazine. It’s like a book, except it’s thinner and there’s not just one story in it. It’s a multitude of articles- » You start to explain, frowning in deep concentration because it’s such a complex question to answer to when you’re taken out of the blue. Jungkook gapes in shock. Looking around, he sees a lot of faces he recognizes, watching with a concern expression painted on them. They’re all wondering why the hell he’s talking to you, and you’re here, giving him a lecture on something so fucking stupid like he wouldn’t know. For a second, he almost yells, ready to bark and bite for he’s sure you’re mocking him. Then he remembers, you’re the freak. That soft, airy and nonchalant attitude of yours is not feinted. You just have no fucking clue. « I know what a fucking magazine is! » « Oh. Then why do you ask? » Your eyebrows are knitted, lips pursued and head tilted to the side, curious and confused and he’s infuriated even more. How dare you act like he’s the crazy one when you’re the freak? « Jeon Jungkook, the story behind the starry eyes: a disease, an enchantment or... something else? » The letters, bold and scintillating because of a charm, are blinking his way and his fury turns up a notch. This is the most ridiculous situation he’s ever found himself in. You’re just standing there, looking a bit lost but rather patient and he just feels like he’s not going to get anything from you. At most, he’ll get a headache and a new rumor going around from having been seen talking with you. « Why did you write this shit? Where does it even come from? Are you fucking insane? » He’s barking now, definitely, morphing entirely with the nickname he’s been adorned with since he’s started playing Quidditch in his third year. Back when people started getting interested in the cute and promising Ravenclaw, when they started noticing his obstination and his persistence and brutality, relentless, strong and fierce like a hungry dog and they’ve started calling him that. Now he’s all dog and not much human left, barking at her, a bit louder than necessary, a bit louder than he would naturally, just because he wants to make sure that the little group of cute girls from Slytherins who are always eyeing him with insistence whenever he walks by them would hear that he is not friend with you. « Oh well, I report the news. » « The news? » « Yes. You know most people have never heard about your kind, and since everybody is interested in you, I thought it’d be nice to bring light to your people. » « My-? » It’s like being stuck in a nightmare. One when weird shots after weirder shots happen, you see it, you feel something is wrong, but for some reason, the world keeps spinning around and you’re supposed to act like everything is fine. Or it makes him think about that weird enchanted box his grandmother gave him as a child. That magical little wooden box, to which you could ask any question and get any random answers, mystic and cryptic and fucking moronic, that would have nothing to do with what you asked. He never understood the purpose of that box he kept only to not disappoint his grandma. Just like you, he doesn’t get your purpose if it’s not only to make his perfectly fine life a fucking pain. « Are you here to thank me? Or maybe you want to appear in the next issue to talk about it yourself? I'm saying this but I don’t think it’d be a good idea. I don’t want to bore people by talking about the same thing two weeks in a row. I could have you in a column if you want. Like a column in my column. » It makes you giggle a bit. He just stares. He’s past anger now. He’s feeling dumb and numb and deems it’s not worth it. You are « mentally challenged ». It’s obvious. You’re not mean though so he supposes that he can ask you a favor. « Ok, whatever. I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. These stories- bullshits, I- I’m a hundred percent wizard and I’m pretty sure there’s no star people- » « Boragoes- » « Whatever. Stop distributing this shit to people and don’t ever talk about this again, okay? » You giving him a look he hates. Your lips pursued and your head nodding a bit. At first, he thinks you’re being comprehensive, you’re showing him your empathy or something as if you believe he’s uncomfortable with his true nature and feel bad for him. Like you don’t get anything he’s telling you at all.

But then it gets even worse, there’s a little glint, quick and sudden, in your eyes and you start starring at your hands toying together nervously on the table. Like you’re upset. Saddened by his words. And he’s pissed off again because again, how dare you? You’re the one who came up with this crazy story about a kind that doesn’t even exist, saying he’s one of them, sharing your garbage magazine with this dragonshit in it to everyone in school and having them all mock and snigger at him. It doesn’t make sense. In any shape or form. It’s not fair to him. He’s never done anything to you to have you ridicule him like that. So what the fuck? Now you’re hurt? « Screw you. » This he mumbles under his breath, as his cape graze the table when he swirls around to leave. He hopes you haven’t heard it but it just had to come out.

« ‘...it’s a rarity. Centaurs have dozens of stories of such apparitions, and this is easily explained by the fact that their heads are constantly lost between stars. I’ve tried to obtain an interview with one of these creatures but I wasn’t able to. As most of you know, centaurs are very private creatures that don’t really appreciate to be questioned. If I were able to, however, I’m sure they would have confirmed that Jeon Jungkook, seventh-year student, seeker of Ravenclaw and heartthrob of Hogwart, is definitely half-star (”Boragoes”), half-wizard.’ Heartthrob, huh? » Jimin is sniggering like a real Slytherin, making Jungkook wonder for the umpteenth time why does he even bother being friends with one of them. He has nothing to say. Or maybe he does. Something about how no one has ever and will ever write a whole goddamn article and invent a whole goddamn legend around him just because they find his eyes pretty. Because that’s essentially what happened, Jungkook thinks. But then he remembers that Park Jimin couldn’t care less about being called pretty eyed and even less about having a Hufflepuff interested in him. Therefore, he doesn't say anything. Keep the thought in his mind, as a personal little reminder and funnily enough, it helps cool him down and somehow, he’s less mad at you.

#btswriterscollective #gukkienet #networkbangtan #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #bts drabble #jungkook drabble #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #my writing #hopefully more to come #hope you guys are doing good

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ayyyez · 5 years

Note

Hey, could I request some drunk Neji, Kakashi, and Gaara headcanons???

After doing 80+ headcanons for Neji I had a feeling I’d done drunk Neji headcanons before and I had a look and found I have so I’ll link them below but I’ll do some more anyway since I had two requests for it. Ya’ll really wanna see Neji drunk huh? Also it’s really funny because I originally wrote those Neji drunk headcanons 2 years ago when I drank everyday and now I’m writing them when I’m a year sober, like, CAN WE TALK ABOUT GROWTH!?

Anyway some drunk Neji, Kakashi and Gaara headcanons coming your way. (First time writing Gaara so keep that in mind). x

Drunk Neji public/private headcanonsNeji with drunk s/o headcanonsNeji with drunk and emotional s/o scenario

Neji

-Neji, before he is legally an adult just doesn’t do alcohol for fun or casually, it’s as simple as that. He will do it on formal occasion or for the sake of being respectful when a superior insists he has one (even then he’s reluctant). There’s just something about not being in control that Neji can’t handle. Boy needs to be in control of himself.

-When he’s an adult he will mellow out a little bit and have the odd drink with his partner or teammates but he rarely gets drunks tbh. For him to get drunk it would have to be in the comfort of the village with people he trusted/knew extremely well. But even then it’s rare. Like so rare that if you miss it, it’s the event not to miss. It would be like missing a rare occurrence such as a meteor shower or what not.

-Lucky for you if you are his partner because you are the person he is MOST comfortable with so he’ll do it if you happen to be there. It’d likely happen in your home or his (or the one you share). Also because he doesn’t drink much his tolerance is pretty low. He isn’t used to the tingle in his fingers when the alcohol makes him dizzy nor the way his head spins. He hates it and will do 1 of 2 things depending on his mood. 1) be cranky, call it a night and go to bed (cuddle him to make him feel better he is nauseous as feck) or 2) try one more to see what happens.

-The next drink will loosen him up a bit and won’t feel so out of control even though there is a voice in the back at his mind scolding him. But that’s a tomorrow Neji problem for the Neji that has a stick up his butt and drunk Neji is out to play. And by play I mean stick to you like glue! He get’s really whinny depending on his level. Sometimes it brings up the insecurities in your relationship he tries to hide from you. Please don’t leave me. He’ll plead in your ear (because drunk Neji can be pathetic in front of you but not anyone else there.) But Neji I’m just going to the bathroom. Then again later. I’m just getting you a drink of water. I’m not leaving you. If you laugh at him he’ll remember in the morning and feel worse. Like hungover Neji is worse than sassy Neji because his head is spinning as well as being irritated. Do not prod the beast.

-Drunk Neji’s cheeks are inflamed. As the night progresses it will grow across his face. He has squinty eyes. Thinks activating his Byakugan will help him see. No Neji that’s not how it works, you’re drunk dear. Clutches his cup in his hand so hard it crushes but it’s alright it hasn’t been full in about half an hour. He didn’t know that though and he stares at his hand for a solid 5 seconds. Hold his hand and guide him to a chair.

-Think he likes giving lectures sober? The drunk ones are more passionate and unrelenting. HE IS RIGHT! Won’t back down from a fight but won’t instigate one either. More of a verbal fighter. When he thinks you two are alone will grab the back of you clothes and fist the material tight between his fingers. Likes running his hands down the small of you back dangerously close to your backside. Will go to lean his forehead against yours but ends up just flopping his head down and smacking his hot skin against yours with a bit of a crack. Apologises and closes his eyes. Drunk Neji becomes sleepy Neji. When you put him to bed because you will need to (he won’t go to bed without you because he can’t leave his side which means you’ll have to shower with him and everything. Hold his head up please.) MUST SPOON HIM OR HE WILL GET UPSET! He’s clingy Neji now, something sober Neji will despise in the morning.

-Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t look or talk to you in the morning because he is so embarrassed. Tease him at your own peril but say the right thing and he’ll become a flustered mess. Neji won’t throw up while drinking but he might in the morning because he feels awful. He has a migraine. He is going back to bed and never drinking again, how could you let him do this? Grumpy Neji but also Neji needs a spoon again. He won’t be verbal about this.

Kakashi

-Kakashi can literally be that drunk who sits in the corner quietly and you cannot tell he’s even buzzed. Kind of watches everything with an even more glazed over expression. In the earlier years like original naruto and before, he’s likely to be more of a sad drunk. Just kind of mopey in general but he can’t help it he’s been through a lot.

-Drinking for Kakashi can come close to becoming a coping mechanism but eventually he will be firm with himself. There were times when he would get really down thinking of the past and all he has lost and just sit leaning against his bed (sitting on the floor) and drink without realising it. He just switches off to the world completely and keeps sipping on the burning sake almost has if he wants to deepen the pain. It’s when he feels he deserves to be punished. He gets to a point where he gains an incredibly strong resolve about changing because he is alive and he needs to make the most of it. Especially when there’s people who need him.

-As he gets older drinking becomes a way for Kakashi to unwind. He will get a drink with the fellow jonin after a mission or a way of catching up and talking about their students (or former students) which encourages the others to brag. In the period when Naruto is away from the village with Jiraya he will feel a little sad again while drinking with them and feel like he failed his team while the other instructors talk about their teams successes. The moment will pass, usually with him changing the topic in the best aloof manner he can muster and the evening becomes enjoyable again. Sometimes when he carries himself home though his mind will wander back to that sad place except now he distracts himself with Icha Icha.

-With you drunk Kakashi is different because he has more of a reason to stay distracted and be happier. He isn’t alone anymore so you’ll find him sometimes just staring at you in a hazy gaze with a smile. You have grown to see his smiles beneath the masks, knowing their meaning by looking into his eyes. Kakashi doesn’t have a lot of tells when it comes to revealing emotions but one of the few is his eyes.

-On the way home and away from prying eyes he will hold onto you and not just some innocent arm around you, no no, there’s intend behind the way he holds you. He needs to confirm that you are his because he can’t quite believe it, almost as though you would disappear from view if he did not hold you close. There’s gripping onto the material of your clothes, sometimes so tight he almost pinches your skin. There’s a head resting on your shoulder if he’s drunk way too much. There’s a bunch of nonsense he’s telling you about how he is sorry you have to deal with this but he’s thankful. He’s still a bit vulnerable in a romantic relationship so he won’t babble “I love you’s” yet (unless you are in bed doing the old frick frack, then one or two might slip).

-When he’s older Kakashi embraces the old man drunk. Drinking and feeling happy while also giving wisdom out even, if not most especially, when nobody asked for it. Will definitely do this with Guy. After the war Kakashi takes it upon himself to take Guy out for drinks whenever he can, he may also be an excuse to forget about being the Hokage for a moment or two. Guy and Kakashi have silly bar bets and different rival contests that no contain alcohol. It gets wild and this is when Kakashi laughs/smiles the most because drinking isn’t something bad that brings up sadness anymore, it’s something he does with his friends and you. He gets more into it if you tell him that you’re betting on him to win.

Gaara

-At first he seems exactly the same with his neutral expression and keen eyes looking at the people in the room around him. The only give away without talking to him is his red cheeks. Isn’t the biggest social drinker, except maybe after the war with celebrations, ceremonies, hanging with the other kage etc. But he is also someone who likes to keep a level head and not risk making a fool of himself. Gaara is the king of cool after all (at least shippuden and onward lol).

-Knows he can get emotional when he drinks so he avoids it when his mood is in turmoil. He makes strategic decisions in life and it’s no different with drinking. There is no dancing on table tops and singing for Gaara. He’s more of an observer then an attention seeker. Will smirk a lot at witnessing other peoples shenanigans. Will even talk Kankuro into doing some ridiculous things then deny it when Temari lectures him. But let’s be real him talking Kankuro into doing something his him saying ‘Should I do this?’ and Gaara saying ‘Yes.’ Then all hell breaks loose.

-Can be a little awkward around you if he doesn’t know you to well. He is still quiet and reserved but more likely to keep a conversation going. If he is with you then it’s still similar but every now and again he will whisper something sweet in your ear or clue you in on an observation he made of someone around you two. If there was ever need of a designated driver he would volunteer because drinking isn’t that important for him.

-Is the type to have a drink or two after a long mission or day of work especially as the hokage. Keeps a bottle in the bottom draw of his desk. At one point the bottle is a gift from Tsunade after the war. He splits this bottle with Naruto sometimes when he visits. More of a slow and steady drinker than a fast and crash. Gets drunk at a steady pace so he still feels in control but extremely relaxed and able to let go of his usual stresses. Doesn’t really get nausea from a hangover either but will get a mild headache. Temari will yell at him in the morning to instil the consequences of his actions into him. If he’s with you he will just stay in bed a little longer and will either hold you or have an arm connected with you for comfort.

-Not a fan of shots but will never back down from proving himself if it’s with either you or Kankuro. Probably Kankuro though and that’s usually the one way Gaara can get drunk. Kankuro can hold his alcohol but so can Gaara and they start swaying in their seats and come close to passing out before a winer is decided. Gaara does a good job at keeping himself composed and tries not to speak when he knows his slurring. Speaks really slowly with extreme concentration in an attempt to cover how drunk he is.

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nadziejastar · 5 years

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You know, I really wouldn't have cared if this girl had her own adjacent subplot dealing with her memories and the age of fairy tales. It doesn’t sound very interesting to me personally, but whatever. I wouldn’t have even cared if she was an acquaintance of Lea and Isa because they were ALL test subjects (not besties, though). So, yeah I guess I think it was possible that they both could have been “Subject X”. Of course, in KH “X” is not a random letter. It is associated with the Recusant’s Sigil and creating vessels. It means “death” and “endings”. Since this random chick has nothing to do with any of that, she shouldn’t be named “X”. She should be Subject Z or something.

I think all the these characters time-travelling to the present is kinda dumb, but that’s not even my main gripe. No, what really bugs me is that her subplot has totally replaced everything about the original story in the most heavy-handed manner possible. Axel never mentioned this girl before. I had a previous anon tell me that Nomura probably wasn’t that invested in the idea of Isa and Lea being test subjects, and that he left it open on purpose. It’s just my personal bias that they were test subjects. My response to that is: Bullshit. The story was not left open for Lea and Isa to be apprentices just because it was never outright stated. KH3 is just treating the fandom like we’re stupid.

KH3D was setting up one very specific story, then KH3 started following an entirely new one with no warning. It was an incredibly jarring and unconvincing shift. Yes, I find Lea and Isa being test subjects a million times more interesting than them being apprentices. Who wouldn’t? But it is not my personal bias that is fueling my criticism. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together, who took an honest look at the story, could see that it was drastically changed from how it was originally envisioned.

Ansem's Report 2

It is my duty to expose what this darkness really is. I shall conduct the following experiments:

Extract the darkness from a person's heart.

Cultivate darkness in a pure heart.

Both suppress and amplify the darkness within.

The experiments caused the test subject's heart to collapse, including those of the most stalwart. How fragile our hearts are! My treatment produced no signs of recovery. I confined those who had completely lost their hearts beneath the castle.

Some time later, I went below and was greeted by the strangest sight. Creatures that seemed born of darkness...What are they? Are they truly sentient beings? Could they be the shadows of those who lost their hearts in my experiments?

Originally, the focus of the unethical experiments was the darkness of the heart. Yes, Ansem was experimenting on Xehanort to get his memory back.

Unbeknownst to me, my six apprentices then began collecting a large number of subjects on which to perform dangerous experiments into the "darkness of the heart." As soon as I found out, I called my apprentices together and ordered them not only to cease their studies, but to destroy the results of their research thus far.

But the apprentices then went on to do far worse things. There is no mention EVER that there were more than six apprentices. But there was mention of the apprentices kidnapping people and performing dangerous experiments on them. Now it seems like these experiments have been retconned to be about memory only. All the focus now is on this one single Union X girl and her super duper special important secret memories.

Xemnas: Our experiments creating Heartless were attempts to control the mind, and convince it to renounce its sense of self.

But originally Xehanort was not concerned with the subjects’ memories. The purpose of the original experiments was to create vessels. Empty puppets who have no self-awareness.

Xemnas: You feel nothing. Nothing is real. I can give you purpose.

Roxas: Roxas.

Xemnas: That is right--the new you.

The definition of a vessel is a hollow container. That’s what Xehanort needed so he could have 13 copies of himself—they’d all have the exact same heart and mind. Nomura said Seekers of Darkness were “raw material” for the X-blade. The point was he needed just their BODIES.

Xehanort: Roxas... Now, there was a worthy candidate. But, unfortunately, he became too aware of himself, and returned to Sora. Organization XIII's true goal is to divide Xehanort's heart among thirteen vessels.

The less self-aware the person is, the less able they are to reject Xehanort from taking over their mind, body, and heart completely. It’s heavily tied into the Recusant’s Sigil, which now seems to have vanished from Kingdom Hearts lore entirely. I guess they are hoping we just forgot about it, since it got so little attention anyway.

Day 7: Meaning

A name defines an object. Describes the span of it. Gives it purpose. We embarked upon the Replica Program to ensure our new power stays ours. Now, our shadow puppet, "No. i," lives. It needs a name. Something to define it. To give the hollow vessel purpose.

But Xehanort put the “X” into all the original members’ names because he planned to make vessels out of them once Kingdom Hearts was completed. Now suddenly we have a Subject X in the spotlight, but she has absolutely nothing to do with making vessels?

The Ultimania said that Xemnas was using the Chamber of Repose to communicate with Aqua, and looking for Ventus because he was trying to complete the new Organization XIII. Now suddenly he was doing all of that because Ven was from the age of fairy tales? I’m sorry, but this is bullshit. I don’t think I’m being an unreasonable or petty fan by saying this is EXTREMELY bad storytelling. KH has had a lot of retcons, but this is far worse than anything I’ve seen in this series before. It’d be like if Sora, Donald, and Goofy just randomly stopped looking for Riku and the King in the middle of KH2 and started looking for a random Union X girl instead. That’s how Lea and Isa in KH3 felt to me.

Secret Report 4: Experiments of the Heart – Notes on Subject X, Excerpt 2

Secret Report 4 is obtained after clearing Battlegate 4 at Toy Box: Galaxy Toys / Kid Corral.

Subject's memories have not returned, and our conversations remain less than lucid. What fragments can be gleaned evoke a bygone world, like one out of fairy tales. As improbable as it seems, the question may not be where she has come from, but when. If she truly has crossed through time, the prospect of probing her heart is all the more compelling.

My pilot studies used a handful of subjects, but none possessed the fortitude to endure them. Ultimately, all suffered mental collapse. I knew it would be a heavy blow to lose a subject as unique as she. Upon discovering the tests I've been conducting, my master demanded that I cease my work immediately and destroy what research I have compiled. Worse still, he ordered the release of my remaining subjects. She is gone.

Where is Subject X now? Has "wise" Master Ansem hidden her away? Whatever the case, I will not be deterred. I will take her place as the first subject in the grand experiment to come.

You can see how similar the wording in this report is to the original Ansem reports. Even the part where Ansem ordered them to destroy their research. But now it’s that the subjects experienced mental collapse. Not that their hearts collapsed. The victims of these experiments were supposed to have lost their hearts and become Heartless. This was the precursor to everything that happened. They were supposed to be absolutely horrifying and dangerous experiments. Vexen wouldn't go down into the basement, and even Xigbar said he didn’t like going there. He even called it a “graveyard”.

Braig’s dealings with Master Xehanort in Birth by Sleep make sense now, as he was to become a vessel.

Nomura: There is a certain reason for Braig to proudly exclaim, “I’m already half Xehanort.” Isa (Saïx) is included too. I think you’ll understand the details about their circumstances eventually.

We were clearly supposed to learn about these experiments in great detail. And it’s obviously why BBS teased us by showing Lea and Isa trying to sneak into the castle while these experiments just happened to be taking place. Isa just happens to be a vessel. He just happens to have the Recusant’s Sigil in the middle of his face. Axel just happens to say that his personality completely changed from how it used to be. Saïx just happens to be the most unfeeling and heartless Nobody of them all, and can't "see" Xion.

Secret Report 5: Memoirs, Excerpt 1

Secret Report 5 is obtained after clearing Battlegate 5 at Toy Box: Galaxy Toys / Main Floor: 1F.

The castle was a wonderland to us children. Within its walls, Ansem the Wise conducted his research, and the fruits it bore allowed everyone outside to live in peace and happiness. That alone was enough to stoke our interest, though not all of the rumors that escaped its walls were so benevolent. By night, the muffled sounds of human wails emerged. There was talk of dangerous human experimentation. Lea and I couldn't help but hatch a plot to steal inside and sate our curiosity.

The two who stood guard at the gates were researchers themselves, though you wouldn't think it to see them, massive and barrel-chested as they were. And slipping past that duo was only the first hurdle. It proved one not easily cleared; we were found and tossed out on our ears, time and again. On the day we finally secured our entry, we descended the long spiral stair at the heart of the castle to find a dark space below it, lined with cages. There wasn't light enough to see if they were inhabited, and we were in no position to call out to any occupants within. Yet we could feel it. A definite presence, there in the black. Terror washed over us, and we immediately regretted coming. But just as we turned to flee, we heard the faintest of voices. The urge to run was nigh overpowering, but someone or something beckoned us on. There, framed by a tenuous sliver of light, we found her.—Saïx

This report about Lea and Isa sneaking into the castle just happens to be found at Galaxy Toys, where Xehanort discovered he could create vessels after experimenting on the toys. Galaxy Toys was a good fit. The castle looked like a fun place for kids to play on the outside, but on the inside horrible experiments were being conducted. It seems like these experiments aren't even going to get much (if any) attention going forward. It's all about this random girl’s memories now.

What happens to the hearts of those who have had Master Xehanort’s heart planted within them?

Nomura: They’ll gradually be swallowed by it. As for Master Xehanort, he plans to control them completely. The planted parts of the heart are captured rather than disappear.

In KH3D, Saïx acted exactly like you would imagine a so-called vessel to act. Unlike Xigbar, he was completely still, completely mute, completely blank and expressionless, and didn’t act until Master Xehanort looked over at him (which he would have had no way of knowing unless they were telepathically linked). We know Master Xehanort had the power to transfer his consciousness into his vessels. That’s what makes them vessels, after all. Gee, I wonder if Saïx awakening to a new purpose over time had aaaanything to do with his heart being gradually swallowed by Xehanort?

I’m sorry, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that Saïx was set up to have a backstory as a test subject. Nothing about his character was left open to be an apprentice. Nothing. Subject X could have had any other role in the experiments if they really needed to introduce her to this timeline that badly. But no, she stole Isa’s backstory. That’s how ill-conceived this sudden shift to Union X was. It appears to have happened on relatively short notice. If that’s the best way Nomura could think of to introduce “Subject X”, she has no business existing in the story.

#kingdom hearts #anti-kh3 #kh saïx #kh isa

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553butterfly553 · 5 years

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Second Chance (An Itachi Uchiha Love Story) 11

Missing

About a week flew by. It went by rather quickly. It was full of laughter and happiness, well as much as the Akatsuki can be happy and laugh. Speaking of them, the Akatsuki members all have grown attached to Serenity and she's gotten attached to them. Even Kakuzu and Hidan eventually began to like the little girl. They all accepted their names and that she was going to be there to stay. It was a little worrisome at first when certain Akatsuki members interacted with Serenity, but everything turned out okay. Currently, Serenity has recruited most of the members to play hide and seek with her. She informed me that she was a big girl now and she could hide on her own, so reluctantly, I allowed her to do so. I was deemed the seeker and was now searching through the mansion for those who decided to play. It was pretty much everyone, except Kakuzu and Sasori. I haven't found a single person yet due to me not using my sensory abilities, but I had a feeling I was coming across someone soon. I was searching every room, other than Kakuzu and Sasori's rooms. No one was allowed to hide in them. So that left me currently in the kitchen heading into the living room. “Where are you people?! This is getting ridiculous! I'm going to start cheating now.” I muttered out loud, however before I could start sensing the people around me, Deidara popped out of a cupboard. “That's not fair, hm!” “Found you!” I called out pointing at Deidara with a laugh. “Now you have to help me find the others.” “Dammit, you really are a bitch, hm!” He realized that I had tricked him into exposing himself. He went along with it anyway though. So now it was Deidara and I searching for the rest of them. The next person to be found was Obito. He'd hidden in the living room behind one of the couches. Not a good hiding spot, but hey at least he was playing. After that was Itachi, who'd hidden in the infirmary, along with Kisame who also hid in there. Neither knew that the other was there though, so it was a surprise for all of us involved. After that, we spit up into two teams and began searching. I was with Itachi and Deidara, Obito and Kisame were together. “Should I just start sensing people? It'd go a lot faster if I did so.” I looked over to Itachi, who thought about it for a moment and then nodded his head. “You might as well, or else we might actually be here all day.” Itachi finally responded simply. I nodded my head and began to sense those around me. It wasn't that large of a radius, but I was now able to find someone. I believe it was Hidan. He managed to worm his way into the ceiling and was crawling around up there. So, I led Itachi to where he currently was and knocked the ceiling tile out of place, causing the religious man to come crashing down. “Ow! You fucking bitch! I swear to Lord Jashin I'm going to fucking sacrifice you!” Hidan yelled out once he recovered from the fall. I helped him stand up but refused to help him brush off all the dust and possible spiders he now had on him. “How did you fucking find me?!” “...I heard you?” I replied more as a question than a statement. He just looked at me and glared. “You bitch, you sensed me, didn't you? Who let the fucking sensory ninja be the seeker?!” Hidan was outraged, but eventually got over it and helped us search for others. Eventually, we met back up with the other group, who now consisted of Nagato and Konan. Meaning all the Akatsuki members were now found. “Wait, no one found Serenity?” I questioned when I realized that she was the only one left now. I tried it sense around to figure out where she was, but I didn't sense her at all. “We need to search for her, all of us.” Itachi had a hint of worry in his voice now. So, we all split up and searched the entire mansion. I sensed around and couldn't find her at all. No matter where I went, I couldn't sense her presence. We all ended up meeting up in the entrance, only to find the ANBU there unconscious. “What the fuck is going on?” Hidan grumbled when he realized that something was up now. We all began to truly worry now. I went over to one of the ANBU and realized there was a note attached to him. “What does it say?” Itachi questioned as he approached me to see what I had in my hand. “It says, 'I have our daughter now. You were foolish to ever let her out of your sight. Tell Mei that if she doesn't step down as Mizukage, I will kill Serenity. You have until tomorrow to decide.'” I responded as my voice and whole body began to shake. My knees went weak and I nearly fell to the floor. However, Itachi kept me standing and took the note from me. He reread it to himself in disbelief. “How could anyone get in here without us knowing?” I mumbled mostly to myself. “We need to report this, but first we need to wake up the ANBU to figure out what exactly happened here.” Itachi took control of the situation. He ordered Kisame to wake up one while Itachi woke up the other. Once awake, the men explained that they were attacked by other ANBU and were easily taken down due to their initial shock. That was all they remembered. “I see...” I couldn't believe it. That must mean that some of the ANBU had defected to Ao's faction. We hadn't considered that before. “I need to go tell the Kage what happened. I'll be back.” My voice was void of emotion as I walked out of the door, ignoring the calls from Itachi and Kisame asking me if I was alright. I couldn't think of myself at that moment anyway. It didn't matter if I was alright or not, I just needed to do my job and notify the Kage of the events that'd taken place. Then we figure out what to do, and only then would I be able to worry about whether I was alright or not. “Oh, Adryn, what's gotten you all worked up?” Lady Mizukage noticed how upset I was immediately as soon as I'd gotten in the room. “Ao has Serenity.” I then explained the situation to them and told them everything that I knew at that moment. “So, what should we do? Obviously, you can't step down as Mizukage. So we need to form a plan of attack.” “We will use the Akatsuki to attack Ao and force him to give Serenity back one way or another.” Lady Mizukage stated instantly. “Do you think the Akatsuki would be alright with that?” Lord Hokage questioned as he doubted her plan. “They love Serenity, so yes, they will. Plus I have their trust, for the most part, so they'll probably do as I say.” I explained to them. “Alright. Tell them about the attack and we will send you out tomorrow.” Lady Mizukage confirmed the plan. “Why tomorrow?” I demanded, instantly angry. “You are too in your emotions right now, you aren't thinking straight.” I wanted to argue with her, but she was right. I was practically vibrating with emotion. So, I just sighed and turned around to head back to the Akatsuki members. “Adryn, we will get Serenity back and take care of Ao for good.” “I know we will.” I agreed with Lady Mizukage and then left the room. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to head back to the mansion, but I knew that I had to, to inform them of the situation. So, that's where I went. “Adryn!” Kisame instantly approached me once I got in the mansion. He and Itachi had been sitting there, waiting for me to return. “Hey Ki,” I muttered as I walked towards him. Itachi was right next to Kisame as the blue man reached me. “What's the plan?” Itachi asked immediately. I looked at him and could see the urgency in his eyes. “Tomorrow we'll all go get Serenity back and deal with Ao.” “Why tomorrow?” Kisame questioned curiously. “I'm too emotional right now.” It was taking everything I had to not break down right now. I wanted to just collapse to the ground and scream or cry or both. “What can we do to help?” Kisame was clearly worried about me. I looked at my very best friend and just blankly looked at him. “I think I should just go home for the day. I don't really feel like being around anyone.” “I don't think that's a good idea. You shouldn't be alone.” Itachi stated instantly as he took hold of one of my hands. He tugged on it, getting me to follow him. He then led me and Kisame to the living room and sat down on the couch, making me sit down with him. “'tachi?” “He's right. You should be with us. We all cared about her too. We all feel how you do.” Kisame spoke up as he sat on a chair across from us. “I am her mother though. It's my job to keep her safe. What if she's going to be hurt or worse?” “I don't think Ao would really hurt her. He's her father, there must be some form of love there, right?” “I know he won't hurt her,” Itachi muttered finally. “I also know we will get her back and she'll be alright.” “If you say so...” I mumbled softly. I just looked at the ground, unsure of what else to say. “You have to think positively, Adryn. Don't you trust us?” Kisame reached over and took my other hand. “We will get her back and she will be just fine.” Having both men I adored tell me such a thing seemed to help bring me out of my darkness. After the darkness began to clear, a wave of exhaustion hit me. I couldn't help but just lean against the couch. “Okay, I believe you, both of you. Now can I get some sleep? I suddenly feel so tired.” “Very well, we'll walk you to your room.” Itachi stood up, causing me to stand up, which then caused Kisame to stand up since we were all linked by our hands still. The three of us walked through the halls linked together. We passed Hidan and Kakuzu, which were both showing clear confusion at the situation, but Kakuzu kept Hidan silent. Once we were at our rooms, Itachi opened up my bedroom door and let go of my hand. “We will explain the plans to everyone else. You just get some rest.” “We'll wake you when everyone is ready in the morning,” Kisame promised as he let go of my other hand. I nodded my head and entered my room. I chose to not lock it this time, as I felt

that everyone in the mansion wouldn't even try to hurt me. I just walked over the bed next, and then fell into it, barely covering myself up as I did. I didn't fall asleep right away. Instead, I dwelled on the situation. My precious daughter was missing and I didn't know where she was, or what was happening to her. I just hoped that nothing bad was going on with her. I hoped that somewhere deep in Ao's heart, he loved our daughter and wouldn't dare hurt a hair on her head. With those thoughts in my mind, I fell asleep. ~ “...Adryn... Adryn! Hey, it's morning, wake up!” I shot up in bed, but the force caused me to tumble out of the bed and hit the floor. “Fuck that hurt...” I grumbled as I slowly picked myself up from the floor. I looked up to see the worried faces of Kisame and Itachi standing over me. Both men instantly went into action and helped me up off the floor. “Are you alright, Adryn?” Itachi questioned as I dusted myself off and fixed my clothing. “I'm just fine,” I muttered, slightly embarrassed. “The Kage have given us the orders to head out with some ANBU when we're ready. So, let's go.” Kisame stated, causing me to snap my head up to look at him. “Really? Now?” “Yes, now, like right now. Everyone is in the entrance hall waiting for us.” “Oh, okay then.” I nodded my head and began to leave the room. I paused to turn around when I realized that they weren't following me. “What's up?” “Are you sure you're ready to fight Ao? It might not end the same way as last time. You might have to kill him.” Itachi questioned as he turned to look at me. I just smiled at him. “If it means getting my daughter back, I'll do anything.” With that, the three of us headed out and made our way to everyone else. “What fucking took you so long?!” Hidan yelled as soon as he saw us. “I literally just woke up a few fucking minutes ago, Hidan. So shut the fuck up.” That seemed to be enough to shut the man up. Also, Kakuzu telling him to shut up seemed to help the situation as well. So, with everyone, including a few ANBU to guide us there, we headed out. I stayed with Itachi and Kisame like last time. No one spoke this time around. Everyone knew the gravity of the situation. They knew that this could very well be life or death for Serenity. So, with silence in the air, we made the hour-long journey to where Ao's hideout was. We never made it there before, but this time we did. He seemed surprised to see us, as it took a minute or two for everyone to exit the hideout and for the fight to begin. The Akatsuki and ANBU all began to fight with me entering the hideout. I had to take out a few men here and there, but nothing serious. No one seemed to pose a threat to me. With the Rinnegan I'd awaken before, normal men weren't a threat to me. It was fairly easy to get to the room where Ao and Serenity were. “I never expected you to come here like this, Adryn,” Ao stated as he held Serenity in his arms with a kunai to her throat. “This was a stupid plan.” “Your plan was the stupid one, Ao. To think that I wouldn't do anything necessary to get my child back. You are the true idiot in this situation.” I growled back instantly. “Mama!” Serenity cried out terrified at the situation. “Is this really my father?” Her voice quaked as she spoke up. “Yes. Serenity, Ao is truly your father. However, he will kill you. So that makes him a terrible father. Just keep thinking of Itachi as your Papa. He'll make a better father to you than Ao ever could.” “Be silent! You think I wouldn't be a good father to our daughter?!” Ao yelled out, immediately angry at my words. “Dude, you're threatening to kill her right now. That makes you a terrible father.” Ao seemed to think about my words, before pulling the kunai away and throwing Serenity off to the side. “Fine, I'll just kill you instead.” That began a fight between Ao and me. Attack for attack, we seemed to be fairly even with each other. That was until he was able to get the drop on me and cut my arm with the kunai. It was only then that I realized that the weapon had poison on it. I was immune to poison, but instantly something felt wrong. I collapsed to the ground and began to cough up blood. “This poison is specially made just for you.” “Mama!” Serenity instantly ran over to me and began to panic. Ao stepped closer to us, and she picked up one of the Kiba blades and held it out in front of her. “Stay back!” That was when Ao and I both realized that her eyes had changed. They were now Sharingan and were filled with anger and fear. “I won't let you hurt Mama!” “Alright, I won't hurt her anymore. She'll die soon enough anyway.” With that, Ao left the room. Moments later, Itachi and Kisame came bursting into the room. They saw me on the floor and Serenity looking at me with fear in her eyes. “What happened?” Itachi demanded immediately. Serenity began to tear up as she explained all that'd happened to me. However, I slowly began to sit up and made it to my knees. “I'll be fine. He forgot something important.” I muttered as the coughing subsided. “Mama?” Serenity looked at me confused, but I just smiled at her. “I regenerate instantly. Any part of me that dies will just come back. My blood will eventually overcome the poison and I'll be fine. I just don't think I'll be able to move for a little while.” “I'll carry her. You carry the kid.” Kisame instructed Itachi as the blue man approached me. Itachi did as he said and went to Serenity. Kisame gently lifted me into his arms, and once Itachi had Serenity, he left the room with Itachi following closely behind. “What all happened while I was gone? Is it all over?” I questioned to Kisame as we made our way through the hideout. “Most of them surrendered. The rest were killed. They will be taken back and locked away for the rest of their lives I guess.” Kisame responded simply to me. I nodded my head and sighed. “What's wrong?” “Ao got away again. I couldn't stop him or even kill him. I failed.” “We got Serenity back, that's all that matter in the end, right?” I thought about Kisame's words for a few moments before nodding my head. “You're right, thank you.” ~ After we made it back to the others, we all headed back to the little town we were living in. The traitors were indeed all locked away and would probably stay there for the rest of their lives. So with that situation finally behind us all, everything went back to normal. With one exception. A few days after the situation with Ao, Itachi called me into his room to have a private conversation with him. I was very nervous, but accepted his invitation and entered his room, with him closing the door behind us. “What did you want to talk about, 'tachi?” I questioned when I finally couldn't take the silence any further. Itachi walked over to his bed and sat down, then motioned for me to sit down next to him. I followed his request and sat down on his bed next to him. I looked over at him, extremely confused. I watched as he took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts before finally speaking to me. “I am growing feelings for you, romantic feelings.” Itachi finally said after a long silence. I just blinked and stared at him for a moment as I processed what he'd said. “I realized my feelings a little while ago, but then things happened and I never got the chance to confess to you. However, after seeing you coughing up blood, it scared me and made me realize that I needed to tell you before anything else happened. I no longer will hide my feelings for you and I would like to continue to grow them with you.” I had to think about all he'd said before I finally spoke up. “I'm glad you told me. You can't imagine how happy hearing all this from you makes me.” “Then what I'm about to say is probably going to make you happier. I would like to officially become your boyfriend. If that is alright with you.” Itachi looked directly at me, causing my heart to skip a beat. This was so strange for the both of us. We had never had this type of conversation before and Itachi had never expressed his true feelings to me before. So this was all new territory for both of us. “I'd like that a lot.” I finally admitted with a smile on my face. Itachi seemed to relax slightly after I spoke showing that he was most likely nervous to have this conversation with me. “Let's take things slowly, it's been... a while since either of us dated anyone.” Saying it's been a while was an exaggeration considering Itachi hadn't been with anyone since before he had to kill his clan, and I hadn't been with anyone since before the war. “You read my mind. I was about to say the same thing.” Itachi spoke up as he looked away from me. He then seemed to think about something. “How will Kisame take this?” Oh boy, that's a good question. “I... hope he'll take it well, but I guess we won't know until we tell him.” “Would you like to tell him now?” “We might as well, but you have to be there too for moral support.” I smiled again at Itachi and he gave me a slight smile back as he nodded his head. So, we both got up from his bed and left his room, with Itachi guiding me to the living room where Kisame was with Kakuzu and Hidan. “You two disappeared and were gone for a fucking long time, what were you two doing?” Hidan demanded as soon as he saw Itachi and I. “Were you fucking?” “Of course not, Itachi isn't that type of guy,” I responded, before realizing that I totally just outed myself as that type of girl. “We were just talking is all.” “You and he finally got together, right? You're dating?” It was Kisame who'd spoken up, stopping Hidan from making any more remarks. Itachi and I both looked over to our friend and studied his face. There was no hint of anger or malice in his face at all, nor his voice. “I'm not angry or upset, don't worry.” “Are you sure you're willing to lose to Itachi?” Kakuzu questioned the blue man, who just smiled over to him. “I'm willing to let her go, to ensure she's happy. Are you okay with this, Kakuzu?” “What a stupid question, all she was to me was a whore.” Kakuzu's answer made me frown, but I didn't say anything back. “Careful, you should talk about Itachi's girlfriend like that. You don't know what he'd do.” Kisame warned with a smirk on his face. I couldn't help but smile at his words as well as I looked over to Itachi, who had nothingness on his face. “You good?” I had to ask Itachi instantly. He just looked at me and gave me a soft smile, however, something was hidden within it. “Everything is just fine.” There was a hint of strain in his voice, but I wrote it off to him just being tired. I had no idea that was the start of everything falling apart.

#itachi uchiha #kisame hoshigaki #akatsuki

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rotationalsymmetry · 4 years

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Sometimes my brain will not let go of a thing.

And, when I argue I tend to go back and forth between being very sure and argumentative, and second-guessing everything I’ve thought or said ever.

So, since I’m well into my second guessing phase, did I miss something there? I think if I missed something, it would be “sometimes it’s not about you.” Thing is though? I didn’t miss that. I’m aware of that. I’m fully aware that healthy people complaining about being inside more than usual, and missing out on stuff, isn’t about disabled/chronically ill people.

And that itself is part of the thing? Intention/impact. Not thinking about people can be a problem too. It’s...actually OK for people to notice and comment on when we’re *not* being thought of.

And it’s certainly not about not being able to handle people talking about being different. That’s...how do you even get there.

It’s not about being intolerant of people who are more sociable or more outdoorsy missing stuff. I miss stuff too. I get it. It’s fine to miss things. (We’re not different. I do miss things. I miss things so much.)

This is really not about whether it’s ok for people to be sad about pandemic restrictions. Of course it’s ok. (Feelings = always ok.)

It’s also incredibly frustrating, speaking as a chronically ill person, to hear people be publicly sad about missing things you’ve been missing from before the pandemic, while being completely oblivious to your own more enduring sadness. I get this with worship a lot: I tried a virtual worship service at a congregation that normally meets in person early on, and there was a lot of public mourning around not being able to meet in person. And I get that. Zoom worship is not the same. I miss in person worship too. And: I was already missing in person worship. And feeling profoundly alienated and ignored over it — not just that I couldn’t go to worship in person, but that I could easily see things my local congregation could be doing to be more inclusive, really simple things, that it wasn’t doing. So, zoom worship, especially everyone being on zoom, that’s actually a significant improvement for me. So hearing people be sad over something that’s a step down for them and a step up for me, without there being room for me to talk about how it’s a step up for me. How I’d been a step down (several steps down) from the current situation before. It’s.

There aren’t words. It’s like I turned invisible, or turned into a not-person, some time when I wasn’t looking.

I think that’s worth talking about. And at least as much worth talking about as the sadness of healthy people who are missing out. Who can also talk about their sadness, just, it’d be nice if sometimes they looked around.

It’s, uh, well sorry for this, but it’s a little like Dudley complaining about only getting thirty eight presents or whatever, when Harry’s right there and not getting any presents at all. There’s, uh, it’s ok to be upset, it’s not a competition, there is room for many different levels of disappointment, and of course some people are getting hit harder than others, but also...perspective please.

A little over a year ago I was in an airport, and had sensibly requested a wheelchair, and I got treated like luggage. Pushing the wheelchair without giving me a heads-up first even after I complained the first time it happened, for instance. Getting treated more like an object than a person is, tbh, not really something I’m used to happening to me. It’s jarring. To go from someone people care about. To being luggage. Going from being a valued member or prospective member of a congregation, someone who’s welcomed in and wanted. To someone that people won’t make even the smallest accommodation for, even when that accommodation would mean the world to you.

And, good grief, this is just me and I’ve still got it WAY better in many ways than a lot of other disabled people.

It’s not just about disability either. It’s also “oh it’s like being in prison” well no, you see there are actual people in prison, and they’re dying at appalling rates, and having to stay in your home that’s set up the way you like it and might even have multiple rooms you can be in and also being able to go for a walk around the neighborhood when you want, is only a tiny bit like prison even when people aren’t dying.

(And people can talk about their frustrations without bringing prison into it. And people who feel disappointed or frustrated that they’re missing out can be a bit cautious about complaining to or perhaps in front of someone who’s objectively missing out on more, or make sure they’re all ears when the person who’s missing out more wants to vent, because let me tell you a lot of disabled people find that abled people are in general not very helpful when it comes to expressing our frustrations.) (Some exceptions of course — but it is a very common experience, and personally I rarely full on vent to anyone except my partner or other chronically ill people. Healthy people tend to take complaints as a request for suggesting possible treatments, which is not constructive.)

There’s a lot of ways in which some people habitually have it much, much worse than others, and yet somehow the people who have it less bad get lots of room to talk about their troubles, lots of sympathy and understanding and getting to see their troubles represented in fiction and talked about on the news and so on, and the people who have it the worst do not get any sympathy at all. (Which of course is not to say I myself am perfect and always get it right, I’m not and I don’t.)

And when we’re presented in news articles or other media, often it’s for abled people and not for us (“inspiration porn”.)

And you see this on so many levels with the pandemic. There’s a zillion articles on working from home and reducing your risk when you don’t have to do anything more risky than a grocery run. And virtually none on how essential workers can protect themselves. I don’t know about media specifically aimed at parents, but news articles aimed at the general public rarely mention the difficulties of parenting during the pandemic. I don’t think I’ve seen a single article talking about how the pandemic and staying home might be especially hard on kids and teens, or even young adults (even though obviously it’s easier to be resilient when you’ve had a ton of positive past experiences you can draw on, which for many people includes prom night and early-twenties bar hopping, and even though young people are more likely to be in a life stage where they’re looking for a friend group or a romantic partner which is much harder to do if you can’t go places) or the elderly. (See? I get it. Nights out and road trips and so on aren’t frivolous, they’re what tie the social fabric together.) But there’s a ton of articles about how to adjust to working from home. And how the economy is doing.

Almost like we live in a society that values “workers” and “consumers” more than people. And only certain kinds of workers at that.

Let’s push back on that, OK? I’m a person. Terminal cancer patients are people. Old ladies who go to the dialysis clinic are people. Full time wheelchair users are people. People with intellectual disabilities are people. Dementia patients who don’t remember their own name, are people. Prisoners are people. Immigrants and asylum seekers are people. Sex workers are people. Black peoples are people. Indigenous people are people. Bus drivers and garbage collectors and baristas and cashiers and janitors are people. Trauma survivors are people. People with all sorts of mental illnesses — not just depression and anxiety, but psychosis and schizophrenia and personality disorders (edit: and addictions), all mental illnesses — are people. Furries or whoever is being made fun of these days, are people. People who can’t use words are people. People who “look funny” are people. People who are “I don’t know, they just have a really weird vibe, I just don’t like them, you know?” are people. People with bad teeth, with weird accents, who don’t know that thing that everybody knows, people who don’t have the right politics or use the right words, we are all people.

We all have inherent worth, we all deserve basic respect and compassion and care, we all have the same basic rights, we all deserve to have our struggles heard and taken seriously. Even when we don’t explain ourselves well. Especially when we don’t explain ourselves well.

Do you understand? Especially when we don’t explain ourselves well. Because, people who aren’t good at explaining things, also have problems and are understood less often.

Or people who want to explain things that are hard to explain, because they’re outside of the mainstream frame of reference.

#ramble #long post #political #ableism #oppression #marginalization #dehumanization #privilege #Harry Potter #coronavirus #quarantine #lockdown #treat people like people #discourse #I guess #what is discourse #what are words

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