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carmenlire · 1 year

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hi!! i just read your flex on me fic and saw your jaeyoung tags on a semantic error gifset and can i just say i love your perspective on these characters. the fic made my heart so warm and i love you write jaeyoung and sangwoo so lovingly. i especially love how you write how much jaeyoung spoils sangwoo. i was wondering what your pov would be of jaeyoung if sangwoo ever got sick or hurt. id love to know <3 again ty for the amazing fic!!

Hi!! omg this is such a lovely message!! first of all, thank you so much for reading Flex on Me and sending a really nice message :') I'm so happy that you enjoyed that fic. i love semantic error So Much and it was so fun to write jaeyoung and sangwoo in an established relationship!!

I am such a sucker for the way that Jaeyoung cares for Sangwoo. In the show we see that, even when they aren't together yet-- even when Jaeyoung isn't completely sold on if he even likes Sangwoo-- he still tells on himself. Half the times he was "annoying" Sangwoo, it was just him flirting/taking care of him!!! And as we know Sangwoo's reactions might not be as overt but he still falls so deep and his love for Jaeyoung shines through in the quiet moments. These two play so well together and I love that they're both idiots in love but as individuals, they're strong and capable and independent.

Which brings us to this LOVELY scenario you sent me! Honestly, this entire message made me so happy but then you asked for me to talk about these two even more?? I'm like a kid in a candy store right now.

So, as previously established Jaeyoung is 1) exceedingly smart/capable 2) hopelessly in love with Sangwoo and 3) loves to spoil his boyfriend. So what happens if Sangwoo is injured/sick? Jaeyoung turns into the Ultimate Boyfriend, of course!

I'm putting the rest under a read more because i lowkey wrote a whole fic-- I hope you like it!!

Let's say that Sangwoo gets a horrendous cold every fall. He can feel it coming a few days before, the first warning signs.-- a tickle in his throat, a vague ache in his joints. He's been dating Jaeyoung for awhile now and he's so happy he didn't think it was possible to feel this much-- and as much as it pains him, he knows the next week isn't gong to be very fun so he starts pulling back a little from Jaeyoung. Sangwoo doesn't want him to get sick-- he has a important deadline coming up-- and, well, he also doesn't want Jaeyoung to see him like that. Gross and snotty and even more easily irritable than usual (forget that now that they're together, while Sangwoo can be prickly and exacting, Jaeyoung is rarely treated to the full Sangwoo Effect anymore. Yuna thinks it's disgusting how soft they are on each other, especially considering their origin story).

So, knowing what's coming, Sangwoo starts coming up with excuses for why he can't see Jaeyoung. Oh, he has to meet a professor during lunch. Sorry hyung, I have to get this project done tonight you can't come over. The first time it happens, Jaeyoung pouts for a second but goes ahead and meets Yuna and Hyeongtak for lunch. When Sangwoo avoids him that night, however, his suspicions rise but he still easily accepts it, working halfheartedly on his own stuff for a minute before quickly growing bored without Sangwoo there to ground him (he’s really gotten so used to working next to his boyfriend at night) and putting on a show on Netflix while sending Sangwoo a truly alarming number of messages that are both cute and annoying!

Sangwoo responds to them later that night after he finishes his homework and Jaeyoung is treated to a goodnight selfie that makes his heart warm and his cheeks ache with how much he loves his boy. Sangwoo is wearing one of Jaeyoung’s hoodies, hair messy like it only is right before or after bed, and there’s a hint of a smile on his face. The message is short and sweet. Goodnight, hyung. I love you. Don’t forget to set an alarm.

And part of Jaeyoung wants to scoff because they’ve been dating less than a year but a much bigger part of him just wiggles in delight because Sangwoo has memorized his schedule and cares enough to send these little reminders. It makes something soft and warm curl up and flutter in his stomach anytime he stops to think about it.

Still, he thinks he sees a hint of red lining Sangwoo’s eyes, touching the tip of his nose. Goodness knows that Jaeyoung stares at the picture long enough to memorize it but he tells himself it was just the lighting and goes to sleep– but not before sending his own selfie and message with way too many emojis.

All of which to say, Sangwoo is able to dodge Jaeyoung for another day before his careful plans melt into disarray. By this time, his throat hurts and he accidentally-on-purpose snapped at an upperclassman who tried to wheedle for the answers to this afternoon’s homework. It’s Thursday and he already knows that his plans for the weekend will consist of nothing but being lonely and miserable with nothing but a box of Kleenex for company.

Because that’s another thing. It’s been less than 48 hours since he saw Jaeyoung and he’s going half crazy with it. Knowing that Jaeyoung is so close but that he can’t see him is affecting Sangwoo more than he thought it would. Especially when he’s so miserable and feels like shit and knows that it’ll get worse before it gets better.

He catches himself wanting to text Jaeyoung every hour– sometimes just to talk but a lot of the time he has to stop himself from asking his boyfriend to come over. God, he wants nothing more than to lay down on his boyfriend’s chest. He’s been sleeping in one of Jaeyoung’s hoodies for the past couple of days but it’s a sad imitation of the real thing.

But no, he tells himself firmly for the hundredth time. He doesn’t want to get his boyfriend sick. Jaeyoung has so much going on and it would be selfish and unfair of him to not only impose but impose knowing that Jaeyoung could get sick.

Saying it doesn’t help the way he wants, though. He’s always been a little needy, a bit clingy when he’s not feeling well. When it’s happened at university, he’s powered through knowing that there was no one to take care of him but himself. Knowing that Jaeyoung is just a call away is bittersweet.

Jaeyoung, for his part, knows by this point that something is up and that Sangwoo is definitely avoiding him. What he doesn’t know is why. Sangwoo’s replies are still as understatedly loving as ever. He still sent a goodnight selca last night. But besides his time in France, this is the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other in person and it’s kinda driving Jaeyoung crazy.

Deciding enough is enough and that Sangwoo can damn well tell him to his face why he’s avoiding him, Jaeyoung decides to meet Sangwoo after his coding class that afternoon. It’s Thursday and Thursdays are always their movie nights and Sangwoo hasn’t ghosted him yet but Jaeyoung can see it coming and he wants to know why.

After his consulting meeting is done, Jaeyoung heads over to campus. Looking down at his watch, he sees that Sangwoo’s class should be letting out in ten minutes, so he heads over to the computer science building to wait. He replies to Yuna’s texts in the meantime and looks up just as a dozen or so students pour out the doors.

He scans their faces but none of them are Sangwoo, which is unusual. His boyfriend is usually the first one out. Jaeyoung’s just getting ready to text him, see if he missed him after all, when Sangwoo finally exits the building.

Before he even quite knows what he’s seeing, something in Jaeyoung’s heart just melts. It’s a cold November day, the sky dark and gloomy, the air frigid. And there Sangwoo is, bundled in one of his hoodies– a red one, to Jaeyoung’s surprise– face mask and hat all but completely obscuring his face. Over the hoodie, is one of Jaeyoung’s jackets that he’d thought he’d lost last time he did laundry.

His mouth curls at the corner in delight. He’s such a little thief, Jaeyoung thinks absolutely besotted.

“Sangwoo-ah,” Jaeyoung calls out.

Sangwoo jerks to a standstill, looking up. Even though most of his face is covered, Jaeyoung sees well enough that Sangwoo feels caught.

“Hyung?” Sangwoo asks, not stepping any closer. “What are you doing here?”

Well, fine then. Jaeyoung takes it upon himself to close the distance between them. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing right in front of Sangwoo and then he leans down until he’s in his space. “Can’t a boyfriend surprise his boyfriend after class?” He raises an eyebrow, knowing he’s definitely annoying Sangwoo.

And there’s the spark in Sangwoo’s eyes that’s always a dead giveaway that he’s about to get huffy. Something in Jaeyoung hums in satisfaction– he loves getting a reaction out of Sangwoo.

In the next moment, he’s frowning, though. Because sure there’s a spark now but Sangwoo’s eyes look a little dull, the shadows underneath them pronounced. His forehead is a little sweaty and that doesn’t make sense at all– sure, Sangwoo is wearing a hoodie and jacket but it is November and it is freezing. He’s dressed appropriately.

“Baby,” Jaeyoung asks, voice dropping to something low and warm. Sangwoo had said once, half delirious with sleep deprivation, that he loves Jaeyoung’s voice always but especially when it takes on this cadence. Makes me feel taken cared of, feels like it wraps around me, makes me feel warm, he’d said.

The admission had ruined Jaeyoung in a way that made him want to use the voice all the time, just to see the way tension melted off Sangwoo’s shoulders. He’d made a study of it– using the voice during sex was a given but slipping into it when Sangwoo was stressed, when he wanted to tease in a way that made both of them turn into each other, when it was just the two of them and Jaeyoung just wanted Sangwoo to know he was there– the feeling is indescribable, knowing the power Sangwoo lets him wield.

Now, when there’s just a few other students rushing around, when it’s like the two of them are in their own bubble on campus, using that tone stills something deep in both of them.

Jaeyoung reaches a hand up, trails a finger over the shell of Sangwoo’s ear.

He wasn’t really worried that something was wrong. Most of Jaeyoung just missed Sangwoo and wanted to see him and maybe tease him about how could school be more important than spending quality time with his perfect boyfriend.

Now, though– well, he’s still not worried but he knows something is up and he knows they aren’t leaving this spot until Sangwoo tells him.

Sangwoo is staring straight ahead at his chin, not making eye contact. Jaeyoung leans even further down, until he’s almost touching the fabric of Sangwoo’s face mask, until his boyfriend has no choice but to meet his gaze.

“Baby,” he murmurs, watching as something shifts behind those beautiful eyes– even when he’s not at his best, Sangwoo still takes his breath away. “Tell hyung what’s wrong, hm?”

He hears Sangwoo suck in a breath before he’s leaning back, holding a hand to Jaeyoung’s chest to keep the space between them.

“I told you that I need to focus on school for the next few days,” Sangwoo says. The words words feel stiff, like he’s rehearsed them too much to ring true.

Jaeyoung reaches up for the hand staying him, links their fingers before bringing them right back together. Sangwoo doesn’t protest.

Time to play a little dirty, then. Jaeyoung smiles, something small that curves the edge of his eyes. Sangwoo’s own narrow in warning but Jaeyoung doesn’t pay him any mind.

He squeezes the hand still in his, wraps his other arm around Sangwoo until it rests low on his back. He pulls him forward into an embrace close to a hug as he whispers in his ear, “Come on, baby. You know I can tell when you’re lying.”

To his surprise, Sangwoo doesn’t immediately pull back and get defensive. Sangwoo doesn’t deflect or start arguing. There’s no quip on his tongue, eager to spill out and start a round of bickering that’s usually fun and engaging.

No, instead his cute little boyfriend just snuggles into him?

Jaeyoung can’t help the shiver that snakes up his spine as Sangwoo noses along the column of his throat. His face mask is scratchy against his skin but his boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind the barrier between them.

“Sangwoo?”

Sangwoo’s arms come up to wrap around his waist, squeezing him closer. He lays his head against Jaeyoung’s shoulder, seems to settle in, humming contentedly.

Tightening his grip, Jaeyoung starts swaying them back and forth a little. Resting his head on top of Sangwoo’s, Jaeyoung can’t help his smile. He squeezes a little. “Sangwoo-ah, baby, can you answer me?”

Something in Jaeyoung– definitely his heart– absolutely melts at the way Sangwoo relaxes against him. This isn’t anything new, Sangwoo has a tendency to slip like this when it’s just them, but it is unexpected for it to happen in public. And while Jaeyoung still doesn’t think anything is dangerously wrong, he needs to find out what’s going on.

Finally, Sangwoo sighs. His voice is low and hoarse and rough at the edges. His tone is petulant as he reluctantly says, “I don’t feel good, hyung.”

Jaeyoung’s heart squeezes painfully before tumbling at Sangwoo’s feet. He lays a soft edge to the shell of Sangwoo’s ear. “What’s wrong, baby?”

It’s silent for a long moment that fills with the sounds of birds in the distance, the chatter of a group of students several yards away talking about the midterm they all just failed. Internally, Jaeyoung starts compiling a list of things he might need in the immediate future, from medicine to Sangwoo’s favorite ghibli film to that chicken congee recipe he had his eomma email him during his freshman year.

Sangwoo eventually pulls back enough to meet Jaeyoung’s eyes. His own are red and a little hazy. He stares at Jaeyoung for a long moment and Jaeyoung lets himself look back. The truth is, Sangwoo looks a little miserable and things are coming together but he needs Sangwoo to just tell him so that Jaeyoung can do what he wants to– what, suddenly, he has a burning need to do.

“I’m in the midst of an annual cold,” Sangwoo finally says, sounding extremely disgruntled. Jaeyoung bites his cheek so he doesn’t smile– God, Sangwoo is so cute like this.

Jaeyoung leans a little closer, narrowing his eyes in the way that’s mostly teasing but still has a kernel of seriousness. “And why didn’t you tell me? Me, your boyfriend, whose job is to take care of his boyfriend when he’s not feeling well?” He pouts exaggeratedly. “I can’t take care of you if you avoid me, Jagiya.”

Studiously avoiding his gaze, Sangwoo takes a shuddering breath before he mutters, “You shouldn’t have to take care of me, especially not when you have so much on your plate right now.”

Jaeyoung immediately shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter,” he says firmly.

Even under the mask, Jaeyoung can see Sangwoo’s mouth turn down. “I could get you sick.”

Jaeyoung reaches a hand up to flick against the brim of Sangwoo’s hat just to see the mulish set of his brows better. “Doesn’t matter,” he repeats.

“But–”

“Sangwoo-ah,” Jaeyoung cuts him off, leaning down until he’s back in his space. He gentles his voice. “Baby, I love you and I love taking care of you.” And oh, here he gets to see the quiet happiness well in Sangwoo’s eyes, the easing of tension along his brow.

“I want to be there when you’re happy and feeling good but I also want to be there when you feel like shit and not you best. Don’t you want that, too?”

“It’s not fair,” Sangwoo offers weakly, closely his eyes against the onslaught that is a pouting Jaeyoung.

Jaeyoung hums in thought. “What’s not fair, my stubborn boyfriend, is you trying to hide this from me. Do you know how amazing I am at playing nursemaid? You haven’t even tasted my congee!”

Sangwoo leans forward until he can rest his forehead against Jaeyoung’s chest. “I’m probably going to be an ass when I’m sick.”

He feels Jaeyoung laugh before his hands come up to rub soothingly down Sangwoo’s back. It feels amazing, exactly what he’d been imagining over the past few days when he desperately wanted to call Jaeyoung for the comfort only his boyfriend could provide– he feels warm and cared for and it’s so good he feels tears sting his eyes.

Now that he’s caught, he doesn’t really want to argue and belabor his point. No, he knows what he wants– what he’s wanted since he first started coming down with this hellish cold– and he just doesn’t have it in himself to deny him– them both, apparently– of this.

His voice is tired but any remaining tension drains out of him as Sangwoo finally accepts that he does have someone he can lean on and that the person is not only willing but eager to do so.

“Please take care of me, Jaeyoungie-hyung.”

Jaeyoung’s heart stills at the request, soft spoken but aching with want. His chest feels too small to contain this feeling, the sheer desire to care for the man in front of him in any way he needs, in every way he can. “Of course, baby. Of course.”

Jaeyoung kisses the top of Sangwoo’s hair before letting go just to immediately hold his hand. “Let’s go home.”

Over the next three days, Sangwoo’s cold does indeed gets worse. He loses his voice almost completely, his coughing annoying him so much that he can only wonder at how Jaeyoung seems unbothered and he goes through enough tissues that he should’ve bought stock in Kleenex.

Through it all, Jaeyoung takes care of him. That first night, they went back to Sangwoo’s apartment together and while Sangwoo took a shower, Jaeyoung ran to the corner mart to pick up anything he might need, including groceries for his eomma's congee.

When he gets back to the apartment, Sangwoo is in a clean Sweatshirt of Jaeyoung’s and a pair of leggings, hair hanging in his eyes. Jaeyoung urges him to rest on the couch while he sets about making dinner. He hasn’t been sick in a while, though, and so when he gets to step seven he calls his eomma just to make sure he’s making it the best way possible.

His mom is endeared– Jaeyoung has talked extensively about Sangwoo– and Jaeyoung keeps his voice low as he finishes cooking in the kitchen.

Sangwoo actually does cry, just a little, when Jaeyoung wakes him up with a bowl later in the evening. Jaeyoung doesn’t tease, doesn’t show just how he’s melted into a puddle at seeing his boyfriend’s wide eyes upon seeing dinner after his nap, at the way Sangwoo tears up because it’s so good and Jaeyoung is taking care of him so well even though it’s only been two hours and he loves this man so much, he’s so lucky–

Jaeyoung cuts his rambling off with a kiss, looking pleased with himself when he pulls back.

Sangwoo, for his part, is horrified. “You’re going to get sick,” he hisses, covering his mouth, scandalized.

Jaeyoung just shrugs and winks at him. “Guess you’ll have to take care of me, then, huh?”

Sangwoo does his best to glower but it quickly morphs into a sneeze and Jaeyoung laughs softly, way too fucking endeared as Sangwoo just looks like a sad kitten and really, he wonders, the heart can’t be meant to hold all of this feeling.

Most of the weekend is spent with Sangwoo cuddled up to Jaeyoung, resting his absolutely aching head against his boyfriend’s chest and using Jaeyoung as his own space heater. Jaeyoung keeps a strict schedule with the medicine and fluids and they spend the entire weekend watching movies or resting. Jaeyoung, for his part, spends a lot of the time that Sangwoo is asleep watching his boyfriend. It’s a quiet but no less striking contentment.

Even though Sangwoo’s hair is sweaty and Jaeyoung definitely knows he’s going to be sick by this time next week, it’s more than worth it to him. And contrary to Sangwoo’s warning, he’s not an asshole at all– he’s pliant and soft around the edges, clingy in a way Jaeyoung will never admit he loves.

And sure enough, ten days later it’s Sangwoo’s chance to return the favor as Jaeyoung proves to be a dramatic– but not difficult, not at all if you know him, if you love him, if you treasure any and all chance to show him and care for him– patient himself.

#ahhhh thank you again for this lovely LOVELY message!! it totally made my day!#also i hope you like this fic i wrote??? i definitely didn't mean to get so taken away but i couldn't help myself!#i may just have to edit this a little and post it to ao3 :')#i'm always here to talk about anything and everything semantic error related #and i hope i did your idea justice!!!#asked #answered #anon #semantic error #my writing tag #semantic error fic #se anon

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wolfiesmoon · 3 months

Text

Chocolate-covered strawberries

riddle x gn!reader

have u ever wanted to have a (totally definitely platonic with no romantic feelings involved, wdym? *wink wink*) sleepover w riddle? bcs if so, you might wanna read this

thanks to @chillpanda36 's plant related encouragement i am once again riddleposting (hope u dont mind being tagged ＞︿＜)

I kinda got carried away and wrote waaaaay more than I thought i would

"Wow, your room is so... swanky." you commented upon entering his room for the first time. It was decorated in checkerboard patterns and heart motifs, which was very fitting for the dorm of Heartslabyul.

You never expected him to actually agree when you jokingly suggested a sleepover, but you're definitely not complaining.

"Thank you. It was modeled after the Queen of Hearts' castle and has mostly stayed the same throughout the dorm's history. I only made a few adjustments to have it be better suited to me." he explained. Clearly, he took good care of the place since it looked very clean and organised.

"By the way, you won't collar me if I happen to break any of your weird rules by accident, will you?" you were still somewhat worried you'd have to sleep with that uncomfy collar around your neck.

"I will excuse you from the rules, just this once. But do not call the rules 'weird', as it is quite disrespectful to do so." he crossed his arms.

Well, atleast you're glad about that.

You placed down the little bag of stuff you brought with you just for this occasion. You got so excited you ended up planning out several activities for you and Riddle to do.

But first, you have pyjamas to change into! Riddle graciously offered to let you change in his bathroom. Even in there, everything is super clean and organised, almost to a scary degree. Somehow, you get the feeling that Riddle doesn't really know how to "have fun". In a 'casually messing around with firends' kinda way.

After changing into your pyjamas, you call out to Riddle to make sure he's done changing as well. Once he confirms he has, you exit his bathroom to find Riddle in an oversized, frilly pair of white pjyamas, the kind you'd find people wearing in the medieval times. Oh. My. God.

"Pffft.... You-" you had to pause to hold back from laughing. "You look like a starving victorian child." you couldn't help but point out the silly resemblance. The pjyamas brought the whole look together.

"I haven't the slightest clue what a victorian child is, but I am certainly not starving. Why must you constantly insult me with such strange phrases?" Oh, it makes sense he wouldn't get the comparison. And even if he did, you feel like he wouldn't be very amused.

"They aren't insults. Just little comparisons." You smiled innocently at him. While they are just comparisons in a sense, they are usually meant to rile him up a little bit. You just can't help but banter with anyone and everyone sometimes.

Riddle felt a slight shiver run down his spine since you reminded him of a certain someone who likes comparing people to sea creatures at that moment. Though your lovely smile didn't resemble his creepy grin at all.

Lovely... smile? What is he even thinking about right now?

"Are you... good? You're making a weird face." your voice snapped him out of it and he assured you he was perfectly fine. No cause for concern.

"You might not be starving, but are you in the mood for a little snack?" you tried your best to sound enticing, like you're mass advertising the little surprise you brought along with you.

"The rules state that-"

"I double-checked the dorm rules, don't worry. And I also know you don't like junk food, so I made sure my snack is on the healthier side. Sorry for interrupting you, by the way." you laughed awkwardly at his offended pout. But you weren't going to lie, his angry face wasn't intimidating or scary at all (atleast not right now). It gives off more of an 'angry little kitten' vibe to you. But you already made one silly comparison tonight so you feel like Riddle might appreciate this one even less.

"Well then. I'd like to know what it is." he actually seemed pretty interested in what you came up with. You dug around your bag, pulling out a packet of chocolate-covered strawberries.

"Feast your eyes on these bad boys!" the specific choice of chocolate-covered strawberries was a calculated one on your end. You had asked Trey about Riddle's food preferences before, but it was unrelated to this sleepover. You can only thank your past self (and Trey) for arming you with the valuable knowledge that Riddle likes strawberry tarts (and consequently strawberries, you hope).

"Oh. I suppose these look quite tasty." he was actually really pleasantly surprised about your choice of snack. It's surprisingly fit to his tastes.

How thoughtful of you...

"Here, have one!" you actually made homemade chocolate just for these. Trey gave you a good baking lesson on how to do that. So of course, you want him to be the first one to try!

He hesitates for a moment. Although the food you're giving him doesn't break any of the Queen's rules, it still feels off to be eating so late at night. Scheduled meals are so ingrained into his mind that he feels the sudden urge to reject the offer and go brush his teeth immediately.

But something strange blooms in his heart when he sees the excitement in your gaze and he submits, telling himself he'll do it just this once. For you.

He grabs one of the strawberries from the packet, slowly and hesitantly raising it to his mouth as if it were forbidden to eat. It still felt forbidden, no matter how many times he told himself it was fine to let loose sometimes.

"It's... delicious." he comments upon eating the entire strawberry.

"Oh, goodie! I was worried I messed up the chocolate, somehow." his eyes went slightly wide upon hearing that you made part of them yourself. He felt his chest tighten up slighly. In a good way.

"In that case, I shall have some more. And you eat them too, since you prepared them for this occasion." the two of you sat down on the edge of his bed, placing the strawberries in between you so you could both easily reach for them while talking.

You still made sure you swallowed the food before you talked though. To avoid a scolding about proper manners from Riddle.

"So, for this sleepover I was thinking we could try summoning a demon, playing board games, doing karaoke, watching a movie, playing 'would you rather', making a pillow fort, and-"

"What was that first one?" Riddle had never experienced a sleepover before, so he had no clue what people actually did in them but he always just imagined sleepovers were purely sleeping at eachother's houses, not doing anything BUT that. He could barely keep up with all of the things you were listing off, but the first one ESPECIALLY stumped him.

"Summoning a demon? Everyone tries that in sleepovers. Usually doesn't work." you shrugged casually, reaching for another strawberry.

"How... horrific. And utterly nonsensical. What joy do you get from doing something so horrible? Especially if you know it won't work?" he seemed genuinely stumped by the concept, which made you want to laugh but you held back since you didn't want to choke on a chocolate-covered strawberry. It would certainly be a way to go.

"It's about the thrill, Riddle. What if it actually works this time? You never know...." you whisper teasingly, like a narrarator in a horror movie.

"In that case, we are absolutely not doing that." he hates to admit it, but he's actually kind of worried a silly ritual might workmand is taking precautions right now to not let it happen at all.

"Hahaha, that's fine! We can do all the other stuff, then." you decided to take mercy on him after seeing how hard he's trying not to let it show that he's scared of demon summoning games. He reminds you of your friends on your first sleepover when you tried summoning a demon. All of you were acting tough and unbothered back then, but were deathly afraid and unable to sleep after.

When you reached for another strawberry, you just happened to grab Riddle's hand instead. Seems you were both going for the same one. Actually, that one's the final one!

"Oops... you go ahead and take it. I feel like I've had enough." you smiled awkwardly at him. Gosh, is it suddenly slightly hotter in here or is it just you?

"Thank you." Riddle looked away, turning his head so you wouldn't see his reddening face as he ate the final strawberry. He's kinda mad at himself for getting so flustered over an accidental hand hold. Your hand felt so... nice to hold. It would be so nice if he could hold it more often. Gah, what on earth is he thinking?! None of this is rational...

An awkward silence fills the room.

And you get a cheeky little idea.

You picked up a pillow from his bed and threw it at the back of his head.

"Hey. What do you think you are doing-HHMMF!" you threw another pillow, this time directly at his face as he turned around to scold you.

"PILLOW FIGHT!" you yelled out excitedly, already grabbing another pillow to defend yourself with as you scurried on the other side of his bed. You giggled at the way his entire face flushed red with anger.

"That was no fair! I was not prepared at all!" you totally caught Riddle off guard, but now he was prepared to have his revenge. He never had a pillow fight before, but if little kids are capable of having one, so is he. And he is quite confident that his magical abilities will give him the upper hand against you.

"Even if you were, I'd still win! They called me the pillow fight champion back in my world!" you throw a pillow at him, which he stops with his magic.

"Oh, we'll see about that. You've had quite enough of landing hits on me, I believe." he smirked confidently at you, feeling a childlike excitement running through his veins.

Now that he thinks about it, it has been a long long time since he has felt this excited and relaxed. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to do this over and over and over again.

In moderation.

#˗ˏˋ ★ ♡ 「Wolfie’s other works」 ♡ ★ ˎˊ˗#twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x yuu #twst x you #twst x mc #twisted wonderland x you #twisted wonderland x yuu #twisted wonderland x mc #riddle rosehearts x yuu #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts x mc #riddle twst #riddle rosehearts #riddle x reader #riddle x yuu #riddle x mc

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mika-no-sekai-blog · 4 months

Text

Wingspan

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: Minors denied. Don't want me to write the list of all shameful things I wrote under the cut

Because I've spent whole week with sick 2 years old child, managed to get sick as well and I'm deprived of Azriel because last two months I'm writing only Heal me and as soon as he appeared on scene, this invaded my mind.. Honestly too many reasons to write something silly ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

"Okay, guys. You know why we are here," I started. "At first I'd like to thank you that you voluntarily signed up as subjects for this research."

"We compare our pricks whole life. It's our pleasure that somebody finally took it seriously and wants to write a whole book about it," Cassian teased, laughing hard.

Rhysand was trying really hard to keep a straight face the whole time, but after Cassian's comment he was about to lose it, and Azriel standing in the dark corner rather disappeared in his shadows after this comment.

How did I even get into this situation? Well, I knew how. It all happened because I was a passionate researcher. Too passionate for my own good.

It all started with mated Archeron sisters and Mor who wouldn't stop debating about this thing of a correlation of wingspan with the size of Illyrian male's private parts. It picked up my interest and I searched the entire library to find out more info about it. Utterly failing in the process, there wasn't a single mention. There wasn't even a proper documentation of their wings alone. So I took it upon myself to collect necessary data to confirm or deny truth of this rumour. I briefly mentioned it to Rhys hoping he could help me find enough subjects for the research. Which he did in surprisingly short time. And as if it wasn't enough he and his brothers signed up, too.

"That part I will leave to you. I hope I can count on you to deliver accurate numbers. If you try to cheat I'll have your mates to do it properly," I laughed, but I meant every single word.

"I'm sure Nes would be all for it," Cassian grinned proudly.

"As if Feyre wouldn't," Rhysand lost it. I had to laugh. I was afraid it would turn into something awkward, but with these two it was impossible. They were like kids, turning everything into a funny game.

I met Rhysand under the mountain. He witnessed the moment my ex betrayed me and when Feyre saved us all, he picked up my remains and brought me to Velaris to heal. In the end I decided to stay here. I buried love, lust and everything related to it as deep as possible and focussed on what I liked - research - occasionally helping inner circle.

"At least they certainly won't cheat," I smiled. "This research origins in their concern after all."

The three of us laughed so hard we cried. Only Azriel stayed silent hidden in his corner.

"And who will make sure Azriel doesn't cheat?" Cassian wondered.

"Why should I," Azriel stepped out from his hideaway, lowering a challenging gaze at me.

"I believe Azriel is the last one of three of you to use such dirty tricks to manipulate the results," I said, returning his gaze. "But if he does, I'll personally make sure he delivers true data."

His hazel eyes lit up with mischief and corners of his full lips slightly moved upward in a hardly there smirk. He wasn't so different from his brothers. More serious than these two? Certainly, but he could be playful, too.

"Okay, guys, let's get it done. Who is the first to show off the wingspan?"

This was the part I'd been looking forward the most. Illyrian wings, the most important subject of my research and to be honest, the main reason of this fuss. So sacred that sometimes even their lovers weren't allowed to touch them. Not that I could touch them by any mean. Boys only granted me to take measurements and a close look to make detailed sketches. Totally understandable given how sensitive they were.

All three of them took turns one in a time, helping me when my arms were too short. I took measurements of different parts of their bodies, too, just to be sure I have all I could possibly need to get accurate results. I wrote down numbers into my notebook, already amazed by the results.

"That's all for today. Thank you for your time. When can I expect the other data?"

"You can get them even right now, if you want, but I guess you don't want to see it, do you?" Cassian, always such a tease. I shook my head laughing.

"Would tomorrow morning be a soon enough for you?" Rhysand purred, flashing a smile. "Tonight we're going to have a lot of fun with Feyre."

"It would be perfect," I agreed. The sooner I was done here, the sooner I could go to camps to collect data from volunteers Rhysand had found for me.

Cassian and Rhysand left soon after, but ever-silent Azriel stayed behind.

He seemed to be so flustered and nervous while I was taking his measurements. Cassian was picking on him for that, but Azriel stoically ignored him and held still. It seemed he didn't even breathe. I knew he didn't like to be touched. It was the biggest of the surprises that he voluntarily signed up for this, so I was extra careful with him.

Ever since I met him, he was always very kind and considerate to me. However it took some time until he opened up. It's just few months since we started to hang out more. Not that I wouldn't like him. If I were honest, I would admit that he was very interesting person, I liked him a lot and he was so incredibly handsome. Too handsome to be real.

But that's exactly the way I wasn't suppose to think about him. I'm the type who falls easily and hard, and loves with all her being. That's why I was so devastated last time. Nobody could possibly love somebody like me. I'm unbearable in many ways.

Plus he is too high league for somebody like me. He can have anybody he wants and the line of prospects is long. Elain and Gwyn for example compete for his attention for years. Successfully. There's no way he would think of me that way. I shook my head to get rid of these self harming thoughts.

Turning I smiled at him encouragingly. Azriel cleared his throat, wings rustled behind his back. He did this often when he was nervous or uncomfortable.

"The camps.. are you planning to go there alone?" His deep voice always did this strange thing with my insides. And today was no different. I pushed the feeling aside, to the box of things I shouldn't think about and shut it closed.

"No, I believe last time Rhysand mentioned something about sending an escort. Mor is going with me, too."

"Okay," he nodded. His one word responses the were death of me. It was so hard to keep conversation going.

"Uhm.. So tomorrow? You don't have to hurry if it's inconvenient for you."

"Tomorrow is fine."

"Oh.. So.. uhm.. I'll see you tomorrow." Shadowsinger just nodded looking down at me a little longer than necessary and then finally he turned and left. I let out a long breath.

Next day Rhys came as the first one as soon as I entered my office. I guess he couldn't wait. Cassian stopped by as soon as the training with priestesses was over. I checked their results with their mates during the lunch break just to be sure the numbers are correct.

It was almost evening and Azriel was nowhere to be seen. I packed some of the stuff I needed to take to camps and took a look around. There was nothing else to keep me occupied, so I decided it's time to go home. I was about to open the door when a knock sounded. It was Azriel.

"You came," I greeted him with smile.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner. I was-"

"It's okay," I interrupted him. "You really don't need to apologise. I'm grateful you signed up for this."

He made a small noise and handed me a piece of folded paper. I took it and returned to my desk where I left the notebook with all data.

"Were you going to go home already?" he asked while I unfolded the paper.

"Yeah, you came just in time. One minute later and I would be gone." I looked at the number and froze. No way, this was certainly wrong. I compared it to the other numbers. Definitely wrong.

"Something's wrong?" he stepped closer, peeking down on me.

"What?" I was so immersed in my thoughts I didn't hear him. "Excuse me," I said boldly and reached for his crotch. Just to make things clear, I wasn't completely myself, otherwise I wouldn't dare to even think about doing so. In that very moment I was simply researcher and nothing else.

Azriel sharply inhaled, eyes widened, but he held still, blushing heavily.

"As I thought," I mumbled to myself releasing him. "Sweetheart, you were supposed to measure yourself when you are.. You know.. 'excited'. I really didn't think you would try to sabotage the research," I tried to joke to lighten his embarrassment. "With your .. equipment.. there's no reason for you to lose. I thought you are quite competitive."

He just silently looked to the side while the shadows danced around him as if trying to hide him.

"Or did you want me to help you with it?" I smiled teasingly. His head snapped up, hazel eyes finding mine. "Sit down there," I pointed to an armchair near the window. While he did as I asked him, I took a chair, placing it next to the armchair, facing the other side. I took the notebook, a towel and a tape measure I used the other day, and sat down on the chair.

I looked at him amused. From this angle I could see only his face and shoulders. "Go ahead. I won't look." With that I opened the notebook looking for the page, but he hadn't moved gazing up at me.

I smiled still leafing through pages. "Let me tell you a secret, okay? We have something in common, Az." I leaned closer to him as if it was really a secret I was about to reveal. "When I say I won't look, then I really won't do it." I looked straight into his eyes to make it clear that I meant it. "I can even measure you without seeing it. I don't need to touch you either. All I need is for this measure to touch you. That's all. So take your pants off and let me know when you are ready."

At this moment he was panting heavily, his pupils dilated. "Do you want me to chit chat you through it? Or do you prefer silence?" I added, arching a brow at him when he just sat there gazing. Finally he moved and I heard as his pants slid down. Azriel's gaze darkened, his eyes never leaving mine.

He swallowed, his broad chest heaving. "I'm ready" he rasped, his usually deep voice deepened even more. I'd be lying if I said it didn't effect me. Now it was my turn to blush.

I handed him the towel. "Cover yourself." I stood up slowly to give him enough time. I turned to him placing notebook on a small side table within arm's reach. I gasped when I looked down at him. My heart went crazy, running for marathon and I could only wish he didn't hear it.

Azriel sat in the armchair in full grace as if it was his throne, his bare legs with muscles on right places spread wide, towel crumpled in his fist. He grinned challengingly.

Okay, maybe we have more than one thing in common. I hate losing, too.

My mouth went dry and I was panting as heavily as Azriel. My head emptied. It took me every ounce of self-control to step between his legs, control my trembling hands and measure him. But I did it, I didn't break.

"Much better," I said coolly as I wrote results down. I collected my things, ready to leave.

"You want to leave me like this, Y/N?" Azriel growled lowly.

I made the mistake and looked into his beautiful eyes. I wasn't sure what I'd seen in them, but it dug out all forgotten feelings. As wave of lust washed over me I lost control over myself. I sat down on the armrest, my legs brushing his thigh lightly. I placed hands on his shoulders and leaned in.

"You are right. I should repay you," I whispered inches from him.

For a while Azriel watched me as a starved man. Slowly, very slowly he erased the distance between us, his soft lips colliding with mine. The moan that came out from his throat made me forget whatever happened after that.

When his fingers found a waistband of my pants and started unbuttoning them, it was like a cold shower. I broke the kiss, untangling my fingers from his silky dark strands. Eyes still closed, his lips followed after me. I squeezed his fingers in my hands and he looked up at me. I could see he wasn't pleased that I stopped him, but he didn't try to pressure me.

"This part of me is not on offer," I said calmly sending him a sad smile. There wasn't reason to be mad. It was my fault in the first place, I was the one to provoke him. "For you it might be just another one night stay that you forget all about very next morning, but I'm different." I stood up fixing my clothes. "I take male to bed only when I have feelings for him and vice versa." He frowned, ready to say something. "I'm trying to say.. for me it isn't just sex.. To do it, I need real relationship, real feelings, security.. Lust isn't enough. I'm sorry." I left quickly and he didn't try to stop me this time.

Next day early in the morning I left to collect data at camps. Work helped me to forget about that night, but as soon as I stopped, it all returned. The most scary thing was to return back to Velaris and meet him. So I extended my stay as much as possible.

Four months later I was sitting in a sitting room of River House, chatting with Feyre and Mor by the fireplace after the family dinner. I collected all data to get some presentable results and currently I was half through writing in down. (Just between us, the rumors have proven to be true. Larger wingspan equals bigger you-know-what)

It was few weeks since I returned to Velaris and so far Azriel was avoiding me as much as possible. When we happened to be in the same room, he didn't even acknowledge me, looking the other side. So much for my fear.

Did it hurt? As hell. He was my friend. The feelings he awakened that night also didn't disappear over night, haunting me down every spare minute I had. I pushed them deep down, but it was too late. I'd already fallen for him.

During our stay at camps, Mor found out that something must have happened before we left, but she'd never asked about it. Which I was very grateful for. I wasn't ready to talk about it.

Now she kept peeking somewhere behind me, biting on her lower lip, unusually silent. Something was obviously bothering her. I could ask her straight away, but I decided to give her 5 minutes to see if she would start to talk on her own. It took exactly 3 minutes.

"Uhm, Y/N, tell me. Something happened between you and Az?"

"I may have hurt his male ego. Why?" I replied as casually as possible.

"He keeps eyeing you and I know that look too well. He watched me like that for five centuries, but it's never turned into something so... Desperate?" She turned to Feyre. "What do you think?"

Feyre inconspicuously peeked behind me, too. "Yeah, definitely desperate. And sad. Rhys said that lately he isn't himself. As if something was wrong with him? Maybe bothered him? But he won't talk about it."

Mor nodded. I had the urge to turn around and see for myself, but I resisted.

"What happened?" Mor asked and Feyre leaned closer, eager for details.

"Well, he kind of misunderstood the situation.. and I told him.. that I don't do the one night stay thing.."

"He actually went after you?" Mor beamed lowering her voice.

"Not really. I might have provoked him a bit," I reluctantly admitted.

They giggled like small girls, looking at each other.

"Y/N, believe me when I tell you that you can't provoke him," Mor whispered enthusiastically. "Nobody is able to break him. He is like.. granite."

"There must be something more behind it," Feyre added. "You should go and talk to him."

"You should," Mor agreed. "He looks to be on the verge of total breakdown." She again peeked behind me. "Go. Right. Now."

They both gave me nod, stood up and moved to another chat group. I stayed alone, just like Azriel who sat in an alcove with window behind me. I inhaled deeply, slowly breathing out. I could at least give it a try. Standing up I took my glass and walked to him.

"Hey."

"Hey," he answered lowly. I hardly heard him. His face was as unreadable as usually, but his impossibly beautiful hazel eyes.. Yeah, they were right. He looked to be on verge of breakdown. Even his posture was all wrong. Slumped shoulders, hunched over, wings hanging down. The shadows hoovered around him like embodiment of his current mood.

"Everything alright?"

He nodded looking away. Ouch. He didn't want to talk with me. I probably hurt his ego more than I thought. I was lost for words. Did he expect me to apologise? I certainly wouldn't do that. I had every right to stop him back then.

Oh, male and their ego. Suddenly memories of my ex flooded my mind. And I got mad. Rage was the only emotion that never disappeared completely nor healed.

I turned around, ready to leave before I could take it out on the wrong person. Strong fingers wrapped around my arm, stopping me. They held me gently, but firmly. I looked back at Azriel and all the rage was gone instantly.

"Would you mind to it down with me?"

I couldn't speak, still shocked by the pain in his eyes. Just when I was seated in the alcove, he released me and sat back down, too. Silence stretched between us.

"I meant to say this much sooner," he started slowly. "I'm so sorry for my poor behaviour. I'm so ashamed." My fingers curled into fist, but I didn't dare to interrupt him. "I know you were just joking to make me feel better, to relax. I knew it even back then. I wish I could explain why I did it, but I can't. I was.. dick."

And how big dick. I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself. This was serious situation. But in all seriousness, he broke the records. Nobody had bigger than him.

"I should have covered with towel as you asked me. I shouldn't have stopped you. I shouldn't have kissed you," he whispered the last sentence. "I should even be sorry that I kissed you, but I am not. I wanted it. Really wanted. Still want it. I'm trash." He stood up quickly. I managed to pull him back down before he could run away. My pulse skyrocketed.

Waitwaitwait. Had he just said that he still wanted to kiss me? My rational part demanded answers. I had to solve this question before my reckless heart could come to own conclusion. I didn't need another heartbreak.

I looked deep into his eyes. I looked only for truth and nothing else. "Tell me, Az, why? Why do you still want it?"

He blushed fiercely and tried to look away, but I wouldn't let him. "Please."

"I..love you," he whispered and my heart stopped for second only to start racing at a crazy pace later.

I wasn't sure he really said that. That must be just my imagination, right? I gazed at beautiful, elegant Elain with big doe eyes sitting on the other side of room, laughing with her sisters. Yeah, I imagined it. But when my eyes slid back to him, he was gazing right back, tensed, waiting.

"I'm sorry. I think I misheard," I smiled nervously.

"I said.. I love you," Azriel repeated quietly, but clearly.

A single tear rolled down my cheek. I didn't think. I couldn't. I just surged forward and hugged him. He stiffened for a heartbeat and then his strong arms wrapped around me and held me firmly. Another tear followed the first one and then another, until it turned into an endless stream. I felt a cool touch of his shadows. They hid us from prying eyes. Or so I thought.

World tilted to the side and we were in my office where it all had started.

"More private," Azriel whispered when I released him to take a look around, confused.

I quickly wiped tears away. "Oh." I still wasn't ready to talk. My head was a total mess. Love. Azriel just told me he loved me. And he was still waiting for my answer. But I wasn't currently able to put the words together to make even a simple sentence.

"Do you need water?" he offered, helping me to sit to an armchair, the very same armchair where he.. Nope, I couldn't think about it now. It would be too much.

What was the question? Ah, water.. Did I need it? I nodded anyway and he handed me a glass. I emptied it immediately.

Azriel watched me carefully as if I could explode any second. I was trying to find something to ground me and my eyes fell to the notebook. "Wingspan," I blurted. His brows furrowed. "You have the largest wingspan."

He huffed in amusement. "Do I?" Azriel took a step back, his eyes were sad again.

Maybe I was crazy, but I reached out and pulled him down on me. "I believe I still haven't repaid for your help."

He shook his head. " You don't have to-"

"I want." I cupped his cheeks between my hands. He hesitated searching my face, his body tensed above me.

Azriel slowly leaned down and kissed me. It was nothing like the last kiss driven by lust and desire. This kiss was careful, exploring. I pushed against his shoulder and we exchanged our positions.

Just like the last time, Azriel was sitting in the armchair and I was above him. I made sure there was space between us. I didn't want to provoke him, sex was out of the question yet. He knew it, too, and kept his hands on my waist.

I deepened the kiss and soon enough we both turned into a panting mess. Azriel's moan startled me.

"I'm sorry," he rasped.

I giggled. "You moaned back then, too."

"I can't help it," he smiled. Azriel leaned forward, keeping small space between us. He hid his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply again and again. "Touch them."

I swallowed. "What?"

"You can touch them," he spread his wings wide around us. "I've never allowed anybody to touch them. But now I want you to do so."

I was speechless second time today. Sacred Illyrian wings and he asked me to touch them. This was Illyrian way to say he trusted me. He trusted me even with his life.

I ran my fingers through his soft hair. "You know that.. there will be no sex today nor any time soon.." I hoped it came out as a joke. Truthful, but still joke.

He laughed breathlessly. "I know. That doesn't change the fact I want you to touch them. You said you want to repay me. So please.." He kissed the sensitive spot under my ear.

He got me there. If he only knew what he had called upon himself. I wanted to touch them, badly, but not only because they were his. I wanted it because I was the damn researcher which equals to a monster at times. I longed to feel the texture of the skin, to feel every single bone and muscle in them, everything.

"Are you really sure about this?" My attention was already trained on the beautiful enormous wings around me. This was his last chance to back out of this.

"Absolutely. So put those damn little hands of yours on them already," he rasped, landing another kiss to that sensitive spot.

He didn't need to repeat it again.

I gasped as tips of my fingers traced the soft skin around the bone. It. Was. Perfect. I expected them to be cold and rough to touch. Even though I touched him just lightly, I could feel every single muscle, even the smallest ones. The bone seemed to be so fragile and strong at the same time. Skin was so warm, stretchy and impossibly soft like baby's skin. I mapped every vein running through the membranes, his pulse drumming under my hands. I traced every scarred tissue I found, paying it extra attention.

I was so immersed into exploring his wings that I hadn't noticed what my curiosity did to Azriel until he came under me with a wall shattering roar. I winced, looking down at him.

His head was tilted back, eyes closed tightly. He was trembling and panting, his broad chest heaving heavily. Streams of sweat were running down the column of his exposed neck. His hands were fisting the material of armrests so tightly he almost torn it into shreds.

I couldn't believe I'd missed something so..amazing. Azriel was a piece of art in every possible meaning. My fingers traced the vein that bobbed out on his neck. He shuddered, his eyes slowly opened, looking up at me. Shadowsinger smiled weakly. "Only you can do this to me," his voice was hoarse.

I brushed away a damp strand of hair that fell to his forehead. My heart was beating wildly as I leaned in and kissed him slowly and deeply. His hands embraced me, pulling me closer.

"I love you," I whispered to his mouth.

I wasn't scared anymore. In this very moment I was more confident than ever that I would spend the rest of my life with this perfect male. Because he was mine and I was his.

#english isnt my first language #azriel fanfic #azriel x reader #az x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel angst #azriel #acotar x reader #acotar fanfiction #acotar #sarah j maas

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millysastroblog · 1 year

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•🌸💓CUTE PLACEMENTS 💓🌸•

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Disclamer: Pls don’t take what I wrote here to heart , I posted this observation just for fun! And if u guys can’t relate that’s totally fine , OK? …….. Have fun guys 💕🌸!!!

💗 Mercury in Taurus have some beatiful , soulful, rich singing voices.

💗Venus- Saturn positve aspects are just so calm, respectful, thoughtful toward their friends and partners. They can take accountability and responsibility for their actions and learn from them. They take love very seriously, wanting to be available for loved once 24/7 being helpful and supportive. And that’s why I appreciate you all. # ride or die for love , # stable lovers 💍👍💓!

💗Mars- Jupiter know how to cheer other people up and make their days better. These are the funny, sometimes even embarrassing friends that love to do extreme fun activities like riding roller coasters, jumping of a cliff, going to the zooo (IDKW?) # fun people

💗Mercury- Venus aspects know how to charm someone with their VOICE , people love listening to them , including me !

💗Pisces Asc people are just fucking pretty, empathetic, soft, shy, accepting of different people. I just love the aura they carry, so ethereal untouchable individuals.

💗Libra and 7th house stelliums love to communicate and surround themselves with people or lager groups. They could be good leaders, classmates, teachers because of how connected they are to others wanting to be pro active and helpful.

💗Ceres in the 1st, 4th, 7th and 10th house embody the care taker role very well, extending this caring, soul full energy nurturing other brocken hearts with their presence.

💗 Venus / Mars in Pisces are full time active people pleaser 24/7 ,they love to take care of others. To have a boyfriend or girlfriend with placement is a blessing in disguise’s .

💗Mercury in Aries I love you for staying in your truth and expressing what ever you guys are feeling at the moment. We appreciate that 😘.

💗Venus- Moon poitives ascpects are such niiicce individuals to be around, they excude this loving, nututring, sweet, feminime energy perfectly. They dont mind helpinng others who are in need. Being a supportive friend when hardships occur. Because Venus is love, and the moon emotions , they looovve their friends and partners with all their 💕 !

💗Venus- Jupiter woman are the "IT GIRL" placement, how they can make a room brighter just by their presence is stunning !!

💗Venus in the 5th house love entertainment, fun, being extravagant , CHILDREN, these people would die to have a child honestly ! Gotta love the artistic self expression with these individuals.

💗Mercury in Cancer make people feel understood and loved because of their good listening skills.:)

💗Taurus Rising pretty, nice, calm friendly people. Exude this grounding stable energy that gives people the emotional security to open up. They are very patient and don’t rush in life. Nice body, hair, everything.

💗Cancer Rising so cuuute I swear ! Love how comfortable they make others feel including me. Expressing emotion raw and truthfully. They shine like the moon. Glowing pale skin, big eyes, big chest 😌.

💗Moon- Jupiter ahhhhwweeee these people are sooooo cuute I swear, showing pure, authentic, open, and vurnerbale emotion is nothing new for these individuals. I apprectiate just that positive energy yall got.

💗Venus in 2nd/ Mars in the 2nd housers are veryyy generous with finances, spending moey on people. How much effort and energy these beautiful unicorns put in gifting someone is incredably special and kind.

•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•

Thx 🤍

•~Milly~•

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*******************{NEW ! ⬇️}*************

#astrology #astro placements #astro community #astro notes #astro observations #astro love #astro posts #astroloji #astroblr #astrology asteroids #writing #venus placements #mars placements #jupiter placements #mercury placements #i love u

2K notes · View notes

psychelis-new · 9 months

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pick a pile: "Loving words from your person"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to find a message meant to reach you at this time. The message may come from your future spouse/destined person/long time partner or even closest friend for some of you (you may still have to meet them).

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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pile 1

Things are getting rocky at the moment, right? Yeah I know it. Try to not let this excessive amount of emotions sweep you away. Try to ground, try to stay present and in you. It's hard work indeed, ofc, I'm not saying it's easy but... please, even if it feels so difficult ans scary, do not give up. Do not let all this take the best of you. Stay in touch, stay in control... touch the ground and the grass, stay present, keep yourself rooted physically. A good news is coming in soon, maybe a new endeavour you know, just do not let this stress you even more than you are. Right now you need to find your inner focus, your center, and to meditate. Until we meet, until I will be able to help you, take good care of you. Or let someone else help you.

[romantic partner for many of you but not everyone; very big on physical affection/hugs in particular -gives very good safe hugs-; good big heart; you may be feeling lonely/feeling down/needing a bit more of love or affection these days or you will need: they'll offer you loads of that with a bright smile; sweet young kinda feminine/nurturing energy; the "excessive amount of emotion" mentioned in the reading may relate to something you're healing atm: I just heard "keep healing patiently"]

song: stay ready (what a life) | jhené aiko, kendrick lamar

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pile 2

HEllo hello my sweetheart! Things are changing as times and leaves, and so your emotions need to adapt to all this. We totally need to stop letting them block us and be more real, shouldn't we? It is indeed time to make a new start, to level up. So take it slow but leave this pain behind. Okay, okay, the choice is yours but you know... it's better to make mistakes and really live even for just one day than to just hide behind a wall and observe others having the time of their life and then feeling so unworthy of everything, right? Go out of the shell and try to feel as worthy as them. Try to be your real self (I know who you are inside, don't play with me, you cannot hide :)). Go slowly, go at your pace, but try. Little by little. One "hello" at time. I am waiting for you to try and say hi first. I am here waiting just for you, not going anywhere.

[romantic partner or friend, or both; funny positive accepting wise person: "it's okay to make mistakes, they're cute" when I wrote the first hello with the E and didn't want me to correct it "it's so me"; prolly clumsy but in a cute way; very pensive/thoughtful; may know many words/has a way with words or is a book lover/nerd; may wear glasses and touch them often; may sit weird; loves to write/journaling; thinks before speaking but writes on a whim and makes typos maybe also in messages to you -some are fun; you may laugh a lot together-; only for some: they may already "be in your life" as you may "see" them around often -eg. school, jobplace, subway, fav pub/place, park...- or they may be your crush/someone you find interesting, as in the song's mv]

song: you don't know my name | alicia keys

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

It's time to take a pause and wait. Things not always go as we plan them or as we'd like them to, but it's not always that bad. It's often a matter of realigning, of realizing that maybe something wasn't supposed for us, and it's better this way. It's maybe a matter of taking a break, grieving our desire in the way we planned it to be, and then go back on track and working for a new different way to get it. It's often a matter of having to wait a little longer, of having to be a little more experienced and prepared. Maybe it's the same for us, don't you think? Maybe we thought we had met but it wasn't us. Maybe we're just meant to work on ourself first a little more, on our feelings and how we see them and perceive them, on our strenghts and self confidence, before we can really shine and meet. Before we can really be able to be seen by the right people: me by you and you by me. And trust me, it's gonna happen. We'll make it happen.

[older or wiser romantic partner or friend; feels like has had many life's experiences; very grounded; masculine energy for the most; very concrete and has an intriguing mind; may have lot of air in their chart or be Mercury dominant, still has a lot of control on their thoughts and is very determined; may inspire you and guide you through a lot and help you grow or heal; will probably need you to help them let go a bit of control cause maybe sometimes -at least for some- they may tend to be a bit more serious and go deep within and get lost in their mind; may show a bright smile on the outside but may feel hurt inside, give them time or talk with them, help them feel safe in communicating their real thoughts if you can: they just don't want to cause pain to others but forget that generally people feels good when being of help to a lover/friend and not burdened; you may share some traits or have mirror energy]

song: island in the sun | weezer

#pick a pile #pac #pick a card reading #pick a card #pick a photo #pick a card tarot #pick a picture #free tarot reading #tarot readings #intuitive readings #psychic readings #clairs readings #divination #fs #tarotblr

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bored-storyteller · 11 months

Text

Ok this is totally self-indulgent that's off the canon, but I wrote that and now you can find it here. It is related to this and the continuation of this. Of course you are free to ignore it.

Sally Face, Sal Fisher x Reader

The sun in the night

"It's me."

If you hadn't noticed how much his fingers were shaking, now you surely heard it in his voice.

"It's really me." Sal insists, because he doesn't know what else to do.

You are there, in front of him, illuminated only by a cold artificial light, the road is empty except for you two, and you hold three large sunflowers in your arms.

"Don’t be afraid." He keeps telling you, because that's what he expected to find in you: amazement, fear, disbelief.

Yet he sees none of this in your gaze, or maybe he does, but not in the sense that he - people - would expect.

You are motionless in front of him, he almost thinks that you are not breathing, and perhaps he fears more than you the consequences of his reckless gesture, of having sought you out.

"I ... I'm back ... if you can say so ..."

Oh, how much he would like to ask you not to cry. But what right does he have? And why are you crying? For him, or for the wounds he inflicted on you? How much he wished things had been different between you two, a trip to the underworld is not enough to start all over again.

Your tears are silent, they slide down your cheeks, on your expressionless lips. And you're looking at him like you're waiting, waiting to see him disappear, maybe.

"Please ..." he finally begs, in a whisper. Sal knows he cannot expect anything, but he feels cold, cold and lonely in being so distant from you. He felt your pain, he felt it inside of him, and he would pay any cost - more than he has already done - to hold you in his arms.

Now, a word would be enough for him, just one, even a sigh.

But you don't speak, you just stand there looking at him, with wet eyes and clenched teeth.

And then, as if you were a dream, he sees you reach out to him; extend your arm in the direction of him. He doesn't hesitate in his moves, he hardly thinks when he approaches you.

Your palm is now on his chest, he holds it gently over his heart, his living heart beating in his ribcage.

"I'm here ... it's me ..." he repeats again, like a broken record, without daring to look up at you.

Even just your passive touch is a refreshment to him. At least you are there, at least you are in front of him, at least you know that he really is there.

And there would be so many things he would like - no, he should – to tell you, but like a raging river in a too small crack he can't get anything out. Everything is too important and nothing is enough. He has the distinct feeling that one wrong word can make you go away, forever, and a thousand deaths won't be enough to bring you back to him.

But he has to tell you something, he has to talk to you, he can't drop everything out of cowardice, he can't.

"I love you."

They are not his words, they are yours. The first words you say to him after his return, the first time he hears your voice.

Ba-bum.

His heart is heavy and light at the same time, it sinks into his bowels and rises until it becomes tears in his eyes.

He looks at you now, his lips parted so he can breathe under the mask. And you cry with all the emotions painted on your face as your hand squeezes against his ribs.

And if you have managed to stop the world, it is still you with a sweet whisper to recall everything, again.

"Believe me ..." you beg him. It is a desperate prayer full of all the pain you have felt. “Believe me please, I love you. I've never stopped doing it and I won't be able to stop, please ... "

And he believes that you could continue forever, in that frightened plea. You don't ask him to reciprocate, but to believe you, because he didn't.

"I know it." He interrupts "God, I know ... I know and ..." And he's so sorry he didn't believe you. How many times he would have taken back this words, while he was thinking of you, while he perceived in his own soul your suffering, your remorse for not having been able to make him understand it in time, for not having made him feel loved enough.

He would like to tell you all this, he would like to tell you that he was wrong to trust himself more than you.

But your hand on his chest is now gripping his sweatshirt in a feeble attempt to hold him, as if he could disappear at any moment, and who guarantees otherwise?

He has already left you.

And you're not even expecting him to really stay, you just want him to know that you love him, and you love him with a sweet, tender, strong love that goes beyond even death itself.

"And I love you too." And it is the only important thing he has to say to you now, when he sees you collapse under the weight of an excruciating sadness that you have endured without perspective.

"Sal ..." His name in your cry sounds like the lament of a puppy left alone, and you finally come back to your home. You are against him, in his arms, your wet face hides against his neck, his blue hair softly covers your head.

And he holds you tight, he finally protects you, feels you real, in flesh and blood.

"I have so many things to tell you ... to explain and ..."

"I don't want to know ..." you whisper, never leaving your shelter "I don't want to know how you did it, or why ... if it's a dream, I don't want to know. Just stay with me. "

He understands, and he accepts it.

Your head is resting on his shoulder like when you were sitting together by the lake years ago. Your hand looks for his, and caresses it, like the last time you met, and like the first time you met, the sunflowers shine among you.

#sally face #sally face x reader #sal fisher #sal fisher x reader #sally face oneshot #sally face fanfiction #writing #reader insert #sal fisher x y/n #fanfiction

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i-am-so-riddikulus · 2 years

Text

His Lady Wife

Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader

Summary: part two to A Nightly Stroll, readers wedding night with daemon, and the reaction of all who find out

A/N: Wow! I was not expecting so much love on my last post! Thank you all so much! I wrote this as fast as I could for you all, so I apologize if it’s not as good. Please enjoy!

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: angst, smut, vaginal, unprotected sex, fingering, breeding kink, sorry if i missed anything

There became a moment when Rhaenyra started to notice something. She had always been close with her uncle, and when he was around less and less, she knew something was amidst. At first she thought he might be focusing on himself. After all, he was just back from the war at the Stepstones which took a little over three years to end. But with each conversation, each glance, each touch, she had figured out her mystery. All she needed now was to talk to you alone.

She chose to do so when you were in your chambers for the night, cuddled up with a book that Daemon had gifted you. A knock rapped against your door, “Come in,” you said, fixing your nightgown.

Rhaenyra walked in, still in her dress from earlier in the day. You quickly walked over to her, “Good evening, my Princess, what may you need at this hour?”

She smiled, pulling you into a quick hug, “Oh Y/N, you know you do not need to be so formal around me, it’s just the two of us, and you are my best friend.”

“Forgive me, it’s a habit Rhaenyra,” you apologized.

“No need to apologize either,” she laughed.

She walked around your room, looking at all the books that you had laid about. She picked up one, examining the cover, “I believe that I can trust you with anything, Y/N,” flipping through the pages, “and tonight I want us to be totally honest with each other,” she finally stopped at the last page, where Daemon had left a note for you. She looked at you with knowing eyes.

She started to walk towards you, “I myself have done something that I wish to tell you,” she paused, smiling sweetly, “I have taken Ser Criston Cole to bed.”

You couldn’t contain your giggling, knowing that Rhaenyra had found the knight most attractive for sometime now. You grabbed her hands, dying to know more, “Gods, how did it happen!”

She laughed, pulling your hands, “First I need you to tell me something that you did.”

Your heart started pounding, feeling your hands start to grow sweaty. You thought no one knew, not a single word about the night had been spoken by anyone. How did Rhaenyra know?

Did Daemon tell her? You knew they were close. “I,” you cleared your throat, “Well, recently I have had relations with the Prince,” you closed your eyes, expecting anger from Rhaenyra, but instead she was smiling.

“I knew it! First I noticed Daemon partaking in much more conversation with you, and then I saw all of the signs,” she seemed very proud of herself.

You were very confused, “What signs are you talking about?”

She rolled her eyes, “Oh you know, the glances, the touches. I’m surprised your own father had not noticed,” She picked up the book once again, “Not to mention this book from his own collection with a note to you.” she smirked, “So tell me dear friend, how did you woo my uncle?”

You laughed softly, “I wouldn’t say that I wooed him, it was definitely him doing the wooing.” It comforted you knowing that Rhaenyra wasn’t upset, she even seemed excited.

—

While you were having your talk with Rhaenyra, your father had finally noticed you. Unknown to you or Daemon, he had spies in the pleasure house. Otto had wanted to be rid of Daemon for years, dispersing spies all over King’s Landing to catch him in whatever chaos he chose to start. Otto Hightower prided himself in knowing just about everything that went on with his daughters. Alicent, she was married to the King and she bore him an heir. Y/N, she was his second born and all she did was read around the keep. He knew she didn’t do anything else, she had no suitors, and her only friend was Rhaenyra, or so he thought.

The night his informant came back with the news that Daemon Targaryen had taken his daughter, his youngest child, in a pleasure house, Otto was enraged. His room was a mess, books scattered across the area, table turned over, the food spilled on the floor. Immediately, he had gone to the King, only to find Daemon already there. “Ah, Otto,” the King spoke, “I was just about to summon you.”

Viserys walked over to the Hand, giving him a goblet, “Daemon has just presented me with a fine idea,” he smiled at his brother, “Daemon should marry your daughter, Y/N. I think they would make a fine couple, and I’m sure Daemon would treat her very well.”

Otto was quick to respond, “Yes my King, but Daemon already has a lady wife.”

Viserys’ smile faded, “Did you not hear, the late Lady Rhea Royce has passed.”

Otto looked back and forth between Viserys and Daemon, now realizing there was not a single way that he could say no, it was a fine choice for his daughter, a prince.

—

After your night, Daemon had become quite more open with his flirting with you. With no one knowing about what happened, it felt like your own little secret. His glances were longer and more open than before, as if he wanted everyone who’s you were. Each touch was longer, each movement of your hair seemed to linger around your face, making you lost in his touch. No one could question why he was doing it, now that you were openly engaged.

You wish that you could have told Alicent before the King did, before Daemon had proposed, but you did have enough time. Your relationship was falling apart with Alicent, and this had been the final straw. After a dinner with your father, Alicent had finally approached you since your engagement with Daemon. “I would think that you being wed to someone would include me,” she said immediately.

Surprised from the sudden intrusion you jumped, “Well, Alicent, I would think plotting to marry the King would have included me as well, but here we are.”

She let out a scoff, “You’re really still upset about that? I did the duty I had to, the duty of our house! At least father cares about what’s going on with me, because if he’s letting you marry Daemon he really has no care for you.”

You could feel the burn of your tears forming, begging them not to spill, “Good thing I’m not important enough to do my duty so I can marry the man I love!”

“You know nothing about love,” she said bitterly, “you barely know Daemon, you’ve done nothing with him, and if you did I would know.”

You walked right up to her, in her space, lowering your voice, “Oh yeah? Then explain to me how the Prince Daemon Targaryen fucked me raw in a pleasure house, and you had no idea.”

The look on her face made your pride swell. Your relationship with Alicent had finally broken, and you were no longer upset by it. She had been the block all along. Your entire life you felt you needed to to be just like her, you lived in her shadow. But now you truly realize your life is better, you can do what you want, you can marry who you want.

—

The preparations for your wedding started almost immediately after your argument with Alicent. Not much of the planning was on yours or Daemon’s part, as the King was extremely excited for his brother to finally be subdued. A royal feast was to be held after your ceremony, and then you would finally be alone with Daemon, for the first time since that night. You couldn’t help but shudder at the thought of finally being with Daemon again, feeling him again.

The day had gone by wonderfully, you and Daemon were now man and wife. Your sister Alicent was nowhere to be seen during the event, something to which had not gone unnoticed by the King. Before the end of the celebration, Viserys himself had apologized to you on behalf of Alicent’s behavior, assuring you that it will not happen at any other event of celebration for your matrimony. Daemon assured his brother it was okay, taking your hand to kiss it.

Daemon’s hand led you to your now shared chambers, his fingers woven in with yours. Once the door was open, you saw that there was fruit and wine on the table, and many more gifts around the room.

Once the door had closed, he wasted no time in bringing his lips to yours, already grabbing at your hips. “You looked ravishing all night, darling,” you felt his hot breath as he whispered against your ear, “and it was so hard to not just take you then and there in front of everyone.”

Moaning at his words, you put your mouth against his again, moving your hands into his hair. His hands ran along your waist, stopping to grab your ass, “All mine now,”

Daemon slowly untied the back of your dress, helping you climb out of it, you help him out of his as well. He walked you to the bed, laying you down, spreading your legs apart. His hand started massaging your thigh as he ran his fingers up your slit, “all this for me? I haven’t done anything yet,”

Your cheeks flush at his words, rutting against his hand, “Please, Daemon,”

He plunged two fingers into you, curling them into a spot that you didn’t know was in you. His hand laid across your navel, his thumb rubbing swift circles across your clit. Each kiss along your thigh surging with pleasure. You could feel the pleasure building, closer, closer, your eyes shutting, hips meeting his fingers. His movements stopped, “you’re cumming on my cock tonight.”

Daemon crawled up your body, fixing himself between your legs as he nipped along your neck. His hand cupped your breast, pinching your nipple. “I’m going to fill you up,” he said as he rubbed his tip along your clit, reveling in the way your body shuddered for him. He sunk inside you, giving you no time to adjust, his hand finding its way to your neck, squeezing slightly.

Each thrust hit that spot inside you in such a delectable way, making your mouth open in a silent cry. “Look at you, all cockdrunk on my cock,” his thrusts increased in pace, moving your knees to your shoulders. You couldn’t control the cry you let out as he hit so deep inside of you, stretching you so good, immediately making you cum on him.

His face scrunched in pleasure, his hair fanning around his face “mm Gods, you feel so good wrapped around me, your cunt taking me so well” his words already building another orgasm.

Each touch felt like fire, igniting pleasure along your skin, you moaned deeply, nails clawing against his back, head flying back as you came together, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he fucked you through both of your highs, bottoming out. You could feel him twitch with each spurt.

Daemon stayed inside you for a moment, catching his breath, before laying his head against yours. For one moment the chaotic Prince softened, his hand caressing your cheek as he kissed you softly. You smiled softly as he pulled away rubbing your hand along his chest. He looked over at you with a smirk, “Are you trying to go again?”

You laughed lightly, “I don’t know how you could possibly come to that conclusion, my Prince.”

He moved himself over you, hands on either side of your head, “Oh I think you do, my Princess, shall we go again?”

---

@imnotyourbcbe

#daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen #daemon x reader smut #daemon x reader #daemon targaryen x reader smut #hotd #hotd fanfic #hotd smut #matt smith

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sysmedsaresexist · 10 days

Note

I do not mean to sound stupid, but I read your post "dissociation is not solely trauma-based", and I was wondering if you knew of any sources or books about it? I think I don't fully understand what dissociation is. For exemple, no matter how I look at it, I don't understand how meditation could be considered like anything close to dissociation, simply because it's also used as a grounding technique.

I'm combining two asks here, because I'm going to cover both in one go :) you don't sound stupid.

You've got to start with the understanding that dissociation is a continuum from normal (aka nonpathological) to "abnormal" (I hate that word, but aka pathological). I finally dropped the wild existence of Dr Jamie Marich, clinical trauma specialist and a pro endo, CDD system, who wrote Dissociation Made Simple. Let me quote because the book is actually good.

Yes, dissociation is so hard to understand that she wrote an entire book about the concept.

"The English word dissociation comes from the Latin root dissociātiō, meaning “to sever” or “to separate.” At this point when lecturing, I usually ask my students: What are we severing or separating from when we dissociate? You may take a moment, before reading on, to ask this question of yourself. Try not to think on it too rationally. Listen to your gut-level response...

For the purposes of this opening chapter, let’s focus on the form of separation that every human being can likely relate to —severing or separating from the present moment—especially when the present moment becomes unpleasant, overwhelming, or otherwise painful."

Dissociation is a disconnect from something-- this can be memories, thoughts, emotions, or, in worst cases, reality. The present moment.

Not all meditation is dissociative, but most is. For example, emptiness meditation is about disconnecting from everything in the moment. You are literally fine-tuning your dissociative techniques. This is also true when you're using grounding meditation to disconnect from overwhelming emotions or thoughts to get back into the moment.

There are a variety of tasks that we either develop naturally or learn as a way to achieve some degree of separation (e.g., enough to stay somewhat present but still get some relief, or going further into totally cutting oneself off from in-the-moment presence). Dissociation of this nature is not all or nothing—it generally happens in degrees and can depend upon how much distress you feel in any given context. We can do this by daydreaming, drifting off, zoning out, zoning inward, disengaging eye contact with people, losing focus (especially when driving), or getting a little floaty in many other life circumstances. Some people frame this “floatiness” as similar to hypnotic trance and others feel it is quite distinct. We may even take deliberate steps to enhance the experience of separation. How often have you escaped into a book or a movie, into your phone or computer, or into some activity, because it makes the harshness of dealing with the present moment and the emotions it can elicit somewhat more bearable?

Let me be very clear, if you said yes to this question, this answer does not mean that there is anything wrong with you! All of these can be quite ordinary forms of dissociation that every human being is capable of experiencing.

A really, really good way to understand this concept is actually through maladaptive daydreaming (MADD), a highly addictive form of dissociation.

Indeed for many of us, substances or other behaviors that cause major surges of dopamine (e.g., spending, computer games, sexually acting out) can become the accelerant of dissociation...

Whenever we become accustomed to dissociating, especially as children growing up in complex trauma, our brain becomes bonded or some would even say addicted to that state of escape. Once chemical or other reinforcing behaviors are introduced to us, they can accelerate that already familiar experience and we become further bonded to that behavior.

Daydreaming itself is dissociative. Point blank. It is both the most normal kind of dissociation, and yet the most common maladaptive dissociation.

Daydreaming and journeying into my head’s imaginative scenarios is another series of behaviors that can have both adaptive and maladaptive qualities. As a kid, they kept me safe. As an adult, they are the source of so much of my creative power—yet if I engage them too long, too hard, or too much, I run the risk of getting lost and not being able to attend to what helping professionals might call my activities of daily living (e.g., eating properly, sleeping, taking good care of myself, getting to work, attending to loved ones appropriately and with good boundaries).

Let's cut away from the book really quickly to look at Eli Somer, the guy who came up with MADD.

Maladaptive daydreaming is a dissociative disorder: Supporting evidence and theory.

The only real thing I want to quote is:

Although trauma may be one causal factor, we indicate several other etiological pathways to the development of MD. We discuss associations with related concepts and suggest directions for future research.

And

MD is strongly related to dissociation and seems to rely on an innate tendency for absorptive and imaginative fantasy. Through its rewarding properties, this form of immersive daydreaming becomes abnormal. MD may thus be viewed as a disordered form of dissociative absorption.

While Somer talks about how it can be a behavioral addiction in that paper, I find this is a more succinct description.

Maladaptive Daydreaming: Epidemiological Data on a Newly Identified Syndrome

Maladaptive Daydreaming (MD) is a proposed mental disorder characterized by excessive, compulsive immersion in vivid and complex fantastical daydreamed plots, generating intense emotional involvement, often accompanied by stereotypical movements. This addictive absorption in daydreaming becomes maladaptive as it consumes many hours a day, generates shame or guilt, hinders achievement of short- and long-term goals or tasks, and overall causes clinically significant distress and/or interferes with functioning in social or occupational realms. Maladaptive Daydreamers (MDers) report a strong urge to daydream whenever they can and annoyance whenever they cannot, and, repeated unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop daydreaming, like other behavioral addictions.

And that's the best way to look at DID and other maladaptive, pathological forms of dissociation. It's a behavioral addiction, an escape that we not only crave, but can no longer live without. Just like you can get addicted to working out and gambling, you can become addicted to severing ties with reality through pleasurable (and in some cases, necessary) forms of escape.

I don't know if this is going to make sense, but I've found looking at dissociation like an upside-down iceberg helps me.

At the top, the widest part, is everyone on the planet, and the basic, general concept of dissociation. Severing from the present moment, be it through your phone, book, daydreaming, meditation, zoning out.

As you go down, and it gets narrower, it becomes more important to put names to specific types and forms of dissociation, and fewer people struggle with these forms. In the middle is a confusing mix of seemingly normal and pathological dissociation. You have mediumship, authors with living characters, OCD (yup), ADHD (shocking, I know), MADD, DPDR, (C)PTSD, people on the edge of forming behavioral addictions.

At the bottom, the smallest point, only pathological dissociation, with a much smaller population experiencing it. DID, OSDD, severe and chronic DPDR, DA.

For people that struggle with dissociation... they fell down a hole and travelled all the way to the bottom of the iceberg. What was once a general, normal, human experience became a very specific problem. Over the years, as they travelled deeper, they used and developed a complex mix of various normal dissociative reactions until it eventually became a named, pathological experience.

I sincerely hope that this helps explain and answers both questions ):

Here's another really interesting paper (from none other than, DUNDUNDUN, Colin Ross).

Maladaptive Daydreaming, Dissociation, and the Dissociative Disorders

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boo-its-stress · 1 year

Text

So I had a silly little idea about what if Danny was ghost king but he didn’t actually have to be in charge because he is baby. You don’t put a baby in charge you put an adult in charge until baby is ready. Vlad would be the most qualified. But he’s Vlad. So. It needs to be somebody else. Batman. I’m talking about Bruce Wayne. Death touched and not ready to rule the infinite realms in his stead. I’m full of big thoughts on this but instead of organizing them and sharing them I wrote a little Blurbo.

Bruce was on the bat computer writing incident reports on the night’s patrol. It was a quiet night and it looked like everyone might get at least 4 hours of sleep tonight. Well, quiet on the streets of Gotham. The cave was very much not quiet as Tim seemed to have had the stupendous idea to intentionally rile Damian up. Idle hands may be the devil’s playthings but apparently an Idle Tim was more likely to lose all sense of self preservation. He wasn’t too worried yet, he could hear Dick trying to keep the peace which had about 50/50 odds of working.

The sudden silence was the absolute worst thing he could be hearing right now. He spun around in that chair as fast as bathumanly possible and stood up. Prepared to deal with an attempted fratricide. But what he saw froze him in his tracks, though not quite as literally as everything else. Damian was frozen mid leap towards an equally frozen Tim who's laughing face was in the midst of shifting towards regret while Dick was reaching out to catch him. He was instantly on guard for whoever had done this, it would be an unlikely coincidence for him to be the only one (or even one of many) left unfrozen if this was a global event that had nothing to do with him. No this was likely a deliberate act but the question remained if the intent was hostile or not. Not that it really mattered because they froze his boys and he would not be relaxing until that was undone.

He felt a presence above him and threw a batarang even as he was turning to face them. And the batarang passed straight through a floating blue humanoid. A being who radiated an aura of power that was only somewhat ruined by the pendulum clock in their chest and a total lack of concern for the weaponry thrown their way. There was a beat of tense silence before they shifted into the form of a child and gave the impression of raising an eyebrow despite not having any above the unsettling wholly red eyes “Did I catch you at a bad time Bruce? I can come back.” And just like that his guard was up even further. An intruder in the batcave with this kind of power and he knew his name? That could not mean anything remotely good. He was mentally preparing alternative methods of attack should this turn to violence, as most forms of physical attack would be useless depending on what form of phasal shifting that just was.

“Oh there’s no need for any of that Bruce. I’m just here to congratulate you on your ascendancy to Kinghood.” That left him wrongfooted and before he could even muster up a response and begin with any proper Questioning, the being continued. “Well, King Regent at least. The rightful ghost king is still a child and you possess the familial relation necessary to stand in until they’re ready to ascend the throne. Should you choose to refuse this position you have 30 days to find a suitable replacement and contact the high council of the infinite realms with this information.” And just as suddenly as the… Ghost? Just as the possible ghost had appeared, they were gone.

All at once life returned to the world and there was an audible thump as one Robin collided with another. But it was Dick who screamed. For if one were to view things from his perspective, Bruce had teleported from across the room and he thought he was immune to the Batman jump scares now! With Dick and Tim briefly caught up in their own individual terrors it was Damian who noticed something was wrong. He shoved Tim aside with contempt, rising to his feet and dusting himself off as if he felt especially dirty after the physical contact he himself had initiated. “Father? What is it?”

Bruce let out the slightest huff of relief at seeing his boys in motion once more, most wouldn’t notice it at all, but the collection of current and former robins were not most people. They were all at attention, waiting to be told and willing to resort to trickery if he wasn’t in a sharing mood. “Something was in the bat cave.” All three stiffened, knowing this was serious. He returned to the computer to begin a profile on the (man? Ghost? clock?) and also to avoid looking his children in the eye. No need to give away how badly this had shaken him. “They were capable of freezing time selectively. And froze all of you while we spoke. Possibly everyone else. Oracle, is it still 1:27 outside the batcave?”

He could hear rapid fire typing before she replied. “Matches up with the time in Gotham and there’s no noticeable time delay between here and anywhere else on Earth. I’ll have to get back to you on if we fell out of alignment with other planets, but I can tell you there’s no gaps in the footage in the batcave either, it… it looks like you teleported.”

Well that was not comforting news in the slightest. Whoever this was, they were incredibly powerful. Possibly capable of stopping all of time with (hopefully) no consequences. Looks like he might actually have to take what was said seriously. For such a powerful entity would have little reason to lie about such a thing. But could he really? He might have had a few close calls with death but he was still living? His heart was still beating? How could a living man be the reigning king of ghosts? Even as a regent? And regent to who exactly? A child? Is that by human or ghost standards? Bruce seemingly didn’t qualify as a child but would Dick? The ghost had said familial relation which was incredibly vague and unhelpful. Did his adopted children count or was it only Damian? Could it possibly be some distant cousin? He didn’t know and unfortunately he had no leads to speak of. How was he even supposed to contact this High Council of the Infinite Realms? He got the sinking suspicion that was the point. That he wasn’t being given a choice in the matter.

His eldest broke him out of his thoughts with a hand on his shoulder, reading what he’d written before locking eyes with him. “And what exactly did he want to talk about B?”

He couldn’t help the slight downturn of his lips as he answered, “Apparently I’ve been named the Regent King of Ghosts.”

And with the widening of Dick’s eyes and a muffled curse from Tim as he missed a step and collided with a table he couldn’t help thinking he was right. The intruder hadn’t brought anything good.

When he later called Constantine asking if he knew how to contact The High Council of the Infinite Realms and the man promptly swore before hanging up? He was absolutely sure he had found himself tangled up in something that was bound to cause him at least one headache in the near future.

When he found the first green sticky note that appeared between one blink and the next he was ready to have words with whoever put him in this position. He sincerely hoped the King he was playing regent for wasn’t Jason.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #ghost king Batman #Blurbo #This is my first post the formatting may be wonky #The writing definitely is like wow that’s some OOC shit #Feel free to add this is a vibe with no plans #but clockwork has a new soap opera #Bruce is much less amused #He has a conspiracy board dedicated to which child fought a death god #And won #Ugh somehow the first paragraph had disappeared at first. I fixed it but how even???

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writing-for-life · 1 month

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Give us Dream and Johanna please!

(And I’m serious because how could you not after all the signs?)

Okay, after today’s Lucienne and Matthew news, which very likely mean unbridled moping in the rain, can I just say the following:

I’ve basically felt from day one they should replace Thessaly with Johanna. For a million reasons. Mostly because it makes show-narrative sense, but also because I’m selfish and would love to see less bi-erasure in fandom (it is a lofty goal, I know). So we see a bi woman have f/f AND m/f relationships and don’t just hype the same sex one and then ignore the other one as “straight”, as usually happens.

I’m still wildly convinced (well, hunch-style 🤣) we’re getting ConstantDream in the show. I’ll be embarrassed about it later if it doesn’t happen yet will survive, but I wrote a million times about it, so may I just draw attention to two of many:

The cinematography/framing (so many romance shots! The play on proximity. The play on height differences. The close two-shots.)

His eyes in the lower one (you know when they get all sparkly with a slightly golden glow, right?)

The rain!

Her saying, “None of us can be trusted.”

Matthew saying he doesn’t like her in S1 (which is a direct mirror of the scene we’ve talked about, where he says to Lucien that he never liked Thessaly).

The way it already makes sense (Dream took Johanna’s nightmares away—she could just dream of him out of gratefulness or whatever. Same thing as with Thessaly really, easy to do).

The soundtrack. Yes, we have musical clues, read the meta.

Slight spoilers, proceed at your own risk…

The fact we’ve literally no news about AGoY and know that Wanda/Ruby have been rolled into one, which could totally mean Wanda’s arc has been changed (she doesn’t need to die in a storm/collapsed building, she might as well die in a fire).

The way that Johanna would protect Lyta for all the right reasons because of her experience with Astra.

And did I mention the rain? THE UNGODLY AMOUNT OF RAIN.

Need I go on?

#the sandman #sandman #dream of the endless #morpheus #johanna constantine #constantdream #morphanna #sandman s2 speculation #netflix sandman #netflix the sandman #sandman netflix

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feelbokkie · 2 months

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🎉 Bokkie’s Half 50 Celebration 🎉

So... it's my birthday but i decided to give you guys a gift instead!

I wrote a total of 8 birthday related posts in honor of me turning 25.

I am poor at time management so I didn't get to finish everything in time for today, but I'll try to get ot8 done by the end of the weekend.

Below the cut you'll find a list of everything that's going to be posted. I'll tag them properly below later. I tried to do as little angst as possible but it's me so, beware.

I hope you enjoy!

and thank you for celebrating with me

Thursday, April 11 (Bokkie Day!)

✿ the one where chan "forgets" your birthday

✿ the one where minho gets you exactly what you want

Friday, April 12

✿ the one where changbin spares no expense at making you happy

✿ the one where hyunjin makes sure your birthday is relaxing

Saturday, April 13

✿ the one where jisung thinks you should be together on your birthday

✿ the one where felix prepares a surprise for you

Sunday, April 14

✿ the one where seungmin prepares a picnic

✿ the one where jeongin tries to throw you a surprise party

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liannaedgelord · 11 months

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my friend @jeffstormer has a good-ass actual play podcast for 2-player story games and you should listen to it if you don't

so to that end, i made a list of my fav @partyofonepod episodes in no real order

Clicks & Hums & Sirens & The Sun: You know how sometimes you go to a big loud dance party and you fall in love with a boy and then later you have a big stupid breakup? This is a game about that. This episode is a funny relatable emotional rollercoaster and I'm on it and we talk about Weezer.

Something Happened & The Lights Are Out: A really sweet conversation between two long distance friends before the electricity goes out forever. Also I wrote the game. This is the last personal bias pick, I swear.

The My Little Pony RPG Alex Pearlman Found In His House When He Moved In: Exactly what it says on the tin. This is the funniest shit I've ever heard.

I Have The High Ground: I just love when a duel is super horny for no reason. Like I REALLY love that. Don't @ me, as the kids probably no longer say.

Knowing You: The small sad breakup game that made me want to write small sad breakup games. Everything on my Itch page flows from this episode. Just a beautiful melancholy story of smalltown heartbreak.

Hey Man, I Love You, But No Fucking Way: Speaking of small towns. A little slice of life drama about teens getting ready to leave the shitty little town they grew up in. This episode introduced me to one of my favorite albums and I listen to both whenever I start feeling nostalgic for places I hated actually living.

We Used To Be Friends: A real fun little teen mystery game that, if I'm being totally honest, is mainly on this list because one of Jeff's characters, Preston, is a hilarious pitch perfect impression of everybody I hung out with in high school. It fucking kills me every time, and you may feel similarly if you also were autistic in high school.

Cadences: Making art about making art is really easy to do insufferably, but when it hits, man it HITS. It's not even sad or anything, but I'm an artist with a love/hate relationship to being perceived and this is a small personal story about the conflict between wanting to do art for an audience and wanting to do it for its own sake. So uh, it kinda makes me cry despite being a pretty upbeat game.

#ttrpg #indie ttrpg #story games #actual play #podcast

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rinniemybeloved · 11 months

Note

Can you do Bokuto/Iwaizumi as a father like Kenma?

[✦] - 𝐊𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎 𝐁𝐎𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐃

notes : sorry for being inactive for almost like 2 months :)

warnings : pregnancy idk if that's a warning tho

pairings : dad!bokuto x mom!reader,

dude has baby fever all the time I swear

"y/n it would be so cute!!" "y/n it wouldn't be that hard!!"

he's nagging you 24/7

so you just had to give in 🤷‍♀️

during the pregnancy he would be so worried

you could literally like cough or something and he'd call a doctor to make sure everything's okay

VERY overprotective

once, a small child came up to you and asked you if there's a baby in your belly and he was glaring at the kid the whole time 😭

but he honestly really likes when little kids come up to you two, he just wants to make sure they don't hurt the baby or smth

he talks to your belly so much

he's so convinced that the baby is understanding and responding too

it's honestly adorable to see him calm for once in his life

bokuto's determined that it's a boy, like literally DETERMINED

I mean, having a girl wouldn't hurt, but like it's just like his sixth sense telling him he's gonna have a boy

he gets so impatient to find out the gender too!!

he's gonna pay any amount of money to find out as fast as possible

… and boom boom his assumption sadly turns out to be true

this is loosely related to this piece I wrote a few months ago, girls or boys?

when the baby's born, he almost drops his son, but thank God he's okay

he probably wanted to name him something like buster 💀

"this is our son, not a dog, kotaro!"

"but people love and play with dogs, and we'll love and play with him, so there isn't a difference!"

yes, that was indeed a real conversation between you two.

but you ended up naming him Ichiro, leaving kotaro whining about why he couldn't name him buster.

but the absolute first thing he's gonna do is take a countless amount of pictures and send them to the whole msby group chat as well as the Japan national team group chat

can't blame him, he's always given off Instagram dad vibes

and when I say Instagram dad, I mean, like, Instagram dad.

he will post the smallest things lil Ichiro does, and bokuto's a pro athlete, so it's gonna get some attention 🤷‍♀️

his son is gonna do something as simple as point at the tv and giggle when his favorite character comes on the screen, and he's gonna post that.

his friends are supportive of it too, especially my baby Shoyo <3 <3 (I'm trying so hard not to make this about him but my Shoyo phase is coming back rn)

shoyo_msby21 it's like I saw him as a baby just yesterday !!

6h 319 likes Reply

— View 24 replies

matching outfits.

kotaro has never been the best with fashion, but with the help of you and his teammates, he has gotten better at dressing his son up

like imagine there's just a whole section in the closet just for matching father-son outfits.

He's gonna spend thousands on clothes for the family. sometimes all of you go out wearing the same colour outfit or something

matching jerseys too, little Ichiro always goes to his father's games wearing an identical, but smaller jersey <3

his son is gonna be a total daredevil, sometimes even kotaro surprisingly gets worried.

the kid is gonna have little star printed bandaids all over his little hands and legs, but I guess people learn from their mistakes, don't they?

he's gonna love being the center of attention, clinging to his dad whenever he's getting interviewed. He just wants the world to know that a star player like his dad has a star son like him!

overall, Bokuto gets an A for being an adept father.

Requests are open!

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #dad!bokuto #bokuto x reader #bokuto fluff #bokuto koutarou #bokuto koutaro x reader #bokuto koutaro fluff

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blondeboyfriend · 10 months

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𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖 (𝟏𝟖+)

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈

[ PAIRING ] Eren Yeager x f!reader x Zeke Yeager [ AUTHOR'S NOTE ] I basically wrote a bunch of vignettes and threw in some wordy headcanons. This is a repost. I wrote it in like 2022. [ SYNOPSIS ] You've just adopted two disasters, I mean dogboys. [ WORD COUNT ] 3.2k [ CONTENT ] Modern AU, hybrids (duh), threesome (mmf), knotting, cigarettes (Zeke), voyeurism, exhibitionism, jerking off, fingering, teasing, nipple play, creampie, impact play (Zeke receiving), dacryphilia (Zeke’s the crybaby), panty sniffing, thick Yeager dick, cum play, Zeke has grey eyes because I'm addicted to the manga version of him, this fic is so ridiculous like don't take it seriously. Just enjoy the ride.

When you adopted Eren and Zeke you fully expected to get two normal dogs. The ad on Craigslist purported two mutts, related but not from the same litter. They were a bonded pair that could not be separated. It claimed they had all their shots and were totally healthy, but not neutered which was emphasized for some strange reason. You made a mental note to get that taken care of, if the dogs were to become yours.

You responded to the listing expressing interest. You listed off a few qualifications: you were an experienced dog owner, you had a large yard they could play in, and you didn’t smoke. You received a response almost immediately.

Yard sounds cool. The smoking shit doesn’t matter. Do you have cable or do you stream everything? Would appreciate a response asap k thnx.

You could not imagine why they needed such information, but regardless you responded.

Hi! I have basic cable and Hulu. Is that okay?

Your answer was deemed acceptable. Phone numbers were exchanged and you were asked to meet at a local park the next day. It was a great relief that they wanted to meet in a public place.

That night you couldn’t sleep. You were simply too damn excited. The sun couldn’t come up soon enough. It felt like it purposefully slowed down. Minutes felt like hours. It was unbearable. Of course by the time you were able to drift off, your alarm chimed and it was time to go get your dogs.

You arrived at the park right on time. There were a few kids running around with their parents trailing after them and two young men standing off in the distance, but not a single person with two dogs. You waited around for ten minutes until you got the nerve to call the person. It was perplexing to hear someone else’s phone ringing while you made the call.

“Yeah?”

You heard the voice through the phone and in the air.

“Uh… Wait, are you here? I think I see you.” You squinted and took a better look at the two men loitering. “Where are the dogs?”

One of the men pointed at you which caused the one on the phone to hang up and wave you over. You made eye contact with one of the parents, hoping that would be enough incentive to come to your aid if needed.

“Hi,” you said as you dropped a pin to a friend.

Someone, anyone, needed to know where you were lest you get the Law and Order: SVU treatment The two men looked normal enough. Both were rather tall and well built. One had long, silky chocolate-colored hair. The other was of the wavy, flaxen persuasion. You noted they were both wearing hats: the brunette wore a denim bucket hat and the blonde a nondescript baseball cap.

“Oh hey, sorry for hanging up. I figured since you’re here and my phone is running low on minutes,” the brunette said.

“That’s fine. Where are the dogs?”

The two men looked at each other and then back at you.

“You didn’t say anything about the hybrid thing in the ad, did you?” the blonde asked, hanging his head.

“Do you think anyone would’ve responded otherwise?”

“What hybrid thing?” you questioned.

The men redirected their attention towards you.

“We’re th—”

“We’re the dogs, alright!” the brunette exclaimed.

He dramatically pulled his hat off, revealing two brown button ears. He then proceeded to knock the baseball cap off the blonde by smacking the bill upwards. He too had little button ears. You were filled with conflicting emotions. You were attracted to their good looks and you thought their ears were cute. But you were also disappointed they weren’t normal dogs.

“Listen, we understand if—”

The brunette interrupted him again. “I don’t! Please take us home with you. I promise we’ll be good. Or I will at least. Honestly you can just take me in. I don’t even know who that guy is.”

“I’m his brother.”

“No he isn’t.”

You stared at them, debating whether or not you should take them in. You didn’t have the biggest home, but you could probably get creative and make it work. However there was still a twinge of paranoia. You weren’t certain you could trust them. But on the other hand you could use the company.

“You can both come live with me. The ad said you were a bonded pair so…”

“Eren, you said we were bonded?” the blonde asked, blushing and eyes sparkling.

“Don’t. Don’t look at me like that.”

“Uh, okay! You guys ready to go then?” you rallied, trying to prevent any conflict from brewing.

Their eyes lit up and their bushy tails started wagging. You were powerless against them. They were yours and you were theirs. You couldn’t wait to get them home and let them get cozy. And more importantly shower. They both looked a little rough around the edges.

On the way home you couldn’t help but stare at their ears, curious as to how they felt. You tried to resist the urge to pinch them, but it became too big of a burden to bear.

“Can I touch—”

“Yes,” they sighed.

Zeke was the more affectionate of the two, but only towards you and Eren. He was pleasant yet standoffish with others, keeping most people at an arm’s length. He had no issues wearing a collar and actually preferred it, unlike Eren. It gave Zeke a sense of security, something his life often lacked. He was incredibly intelligent, but prone to getting lost in his own thoughts. And he preferred spending his days in the yard sprawled out in a hammock with no shirt on, chain smoking and reading.

Eren was a bit of a wild one. He only wanted attention on his own terms, but was open to getting it from anyone he was friendly with. He tended to be a bit of a loner, spending most of his time outdoors. He liked being out in the woods, hiking on balmy days. He was significantly more active than Zeke though you suspected that had something to do with him being younger. Eren was also a bit more hardy than his brother, and lacked the seasonal allergies Zeke had been cursed with since he was a pup.

Since neither of them worked they tended to play housewife while you toiled away at work. Zeke was on laundry duty because Eren was a chronic clothes shrinker. Eren did the cooking, priding himself on his knife skills. He was constantly baking bread with a preference for sourdough. Zeke wasn’t a bad cook by any means, but he lacked the passion Eren exuded. He preferred to clean anyway. It wasn’t uncommon to wake up in the middle of the night to pee and find him scrubbing the toilet.

Depending on where you were in your menstrual cycle, they would both get incredibly clingy and flirtatious. If one of them was feeling particularly bold they’d rub their hard cock on you while you slept. It didn’t bother you much. You had developed a bit of a crush on them. Your sick enjoyment fed off of their desperation. Even the more traditionally annoying behaviors were still a turn on. Like how your underwear was prone to going missing. You’d find it crumpled up and stiff in the strangest places. You never bothered to ask because you didn’t want to embarrass them, or give them any incentive to stop.

Your first tryst with them couldn’t have happened under sillier circumstances. It was late one night. You and Eren had crawled into bed while Zeke stayed up watching the Planet Earth episode on caves. Eren fell asleep almost immediately after pulling you into his warm embrace. You nuzzled your face in his neck, letting your nose graze his Adam’s apple.

Just as you were about to drift off Zeke clumsily opened the door. He skulked around before hopping into bed. You were hoping he’d spoon you, putting you in a dogboy sandwich. But alas, he was going to sleep beside Eren.

Zeke yawned and snaked his arms around his brother. You struggled to hold back a laugh as he wriggled and pulled his brother close. Eren groaned and tried to shake Zeke off.

“Don’t be mean,” Zeke whined.

Zeke then proceeded to grope Eren’s chest.

“Oh… That’s not right,” he said, palming Eren’s pectoral muscle.

“I was waiting for you to notice. Can you please stop rubbing your dick on me?”

“I didn’t know it was you.”

“You couldn’t smell me?”

“You smelled like her shampoo. My—my allergies have been acting up. I can’t smell straight.”

“Makes sense considering there was nothing straight about what you just did.”

“You guys are too much,” you yawned, rolling over onto your back.

Eren fixed his verdant gaze on you. Zeke rested his chin on Eren’s head and did the same. They looked hungry, starved practically. Zeke reached out and booped your nose.

“What?” You asked, laughing.

“I’m bored,” Zeke sighed.

Eren nodded in agreement.

“It’s nighttime. Just fall asleep,” you muttered.

“I doubt he could fall asleep with that raging boner.”

Zeke immediately turned pink and rolled over, trying to mask his shame. He pulled the sheets over his head and sighed heavily.

“Maybe you should help him take care of it?” Eren purred.

“I wouldn’t be averse to that,” Zeke concurred, his voice muffled by cool cotton.

You cleared your throat. While you were very much aware your precious dogboys wanted to bury their noses in your cunt, you never actually considered sleeping with either of them. You weren’t even sure what that would entail.

“If you fuck Zeke, I get to watch.”

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t,” Zeke said dreamily.

Eren grumbled. He wasn’t the best at accepting Zeke’s affection, especially when it was a bit too eager.

“I guess I’m up for it. I can’t remember the last time I fucked someone.”

“I’ll be gentle. Unless you, uh, don’t want me to be. I’m more than prepared to destroy you. I can make it so that no one will ever want you again after I’m through with you.”

“Criiiiiiiiinge,” Eren yawned.

“Be nice,” you chastised, pinching one of Eren’s velvety ears.

“So?” Zeke asked expectantly.

You could hear his tail thumping against the mattress. How could you deny such an excitable boy?

“I’m down.”

Zeke jumped out of bed and started getting undressed. You and Eren made eye contact and laughed.

“Desperate much?”

“He’s not desperate. Just dumb and eager,” you laughed.

Zeke pouted as he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his god-like form. His chest was covered with hair, the same color as a fertile field of wheat. You never got used to seeing him shirtless even though he often went without one. Every time was like the first time, just you in utter awe of his beautiful body.

“You can get undressed faster than that,” Eren goaded.

Zeke pulled off his boxers and balled them up, beaning them at Eren.

“Happy?”

“Not as happy as you apparently,” you chuckled.

Zeke’s cock was hard as a rock, nearly sticking straight up. It was thick, veiny, and of average length which was a relief. Zeke glanced down at it and then made eye contact with you. It was clear he sought approval; he needed validation.

“Very nice, baby.”

“Baby? You never call me baby.”

“That’s because you’re not my baby, Eren.”

“Yeah, Eren, you’re not her baby.”

“Well, what are you two waiting for?” Eren asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He took the quilt with him, wrapping it around himself.

Zeke returned to the bed and got on top of you. He reached under your nightgown and peeled off your underwear. He sniffed them before he handed them to Eren who did the same. Zeke slipped his hand between your thighs and spread apart your folds. He pushed his rough fingers into your cunt and rubbed your clit with the pad of his thumb. He maintained eye contact the entire time. His grey gaze was heavy with ardor. His face couldn’t have been closer to yours. You reached up and stroked his cheek, feeling his lush beard. He hummed happily and continued to finger you.

“Does that feel good?” He asked, curling his fingers inside you.

A “mhm” was all you could muster. It seemed to be enough for Zeke because he beamed and kissed you. To say you weren’t ready was an understatement. He pushed his tongue past your teeth and rolled it against yours. His lips were soft unlike Eren’s which tended to be chapped. A little, joyous whimper emanated from you as his breath lilted into your lungs. It tasted of tobacco and his overpriced, spearmint toothpaste. You wanted him to consume you.

“Can one of you make some noises or something? You guys are too quiet. It’s weird,” Eren heckled.

Zeke broke the kiss. “You do realize not everyone sounds like they’re in Bang Bros video, right?”

Eren was quiet.

“Maybe so. But c’mon. Do something interesting.”

Zeke placed his hands on the small of your back and lifted you forward. He flicked his tongue against your firm nipple. You draped your arms over his shoulders and dragged your nails down his back. You were careful not to dig too deep. You weren’t interested in drawing blood. Zeke was too delicate on an emotional level. His life had been hard enough. You knew he wanted to be pampered, not mangled.

He didn’t seem to hold you in the same regard because he began to bite your nipple. It wasn’t very hard, but still you yelped.

“Hey! Don’t hurt her, you dingus,” Eren teased.

He pulled on Zeke’s wagging tail.

“What good does hurting me do?” He asked ruefully.

You ran your fingers through his soft hair and gave it a tug.

“Not you too.”

“It’s not my fault it’s so fun to be a little mean to you… Do you want us to stop?”

“No,” Zeke mumbled. “I—I like it.”

Eren pulled on his tail again. Zeke groaned and buried his face into your neck. You patted his head and told him how good of a boy he was.

“How good?” He asked, nipping at your neck.

“The best.”

“What about me?” Eren asked.

“You’re a good boy too, I guess.”

Zeke smirked and began to stroke the length of his cock. He gently nudged you back down, leaving you supine. He rubbed his cocktip on your throbbing clit, leaving a few droplets of precum behind. Eren sighed and moved so that he was lying next to you.

“I needed a better view,” he admitted.

“Fair enough,” Zeke groaned as he slid his cock inside you.

Eren stuck his hand under his sweatpants and began to jerk off. You were ecstatic he wanted to watch Zeke split you in two.

Zeke’s thrusts were slow and deliberate. He let his cock gradually stretch out your tight cunt. You loved the fullness you felt, how his cock swelled inside you. It was a sensation you’d never been blessed with before. You felt like you were seeing stars as Zeke picked up the pace. His balls slapped against your taint, leaving a stinging pain in their wake.

“You can fuck her harder than that,” Eren heckled through gritted teeth.

His sweatpants had a sizable wet spot.

“Leave me alone,” Zeke mumbled.

You pinched his ear and gently pulled on it.

“Are you gonna cry, Zekey?”

“Please do not call me that. And what the? No, I’m not going to cry.”

“You do when you jerk off with her underwear,” Eren laughed.

Zeke lost his rhythm; his thrusts became erratic. His cock was hitting your cervix. You felt a dull ache in the depths of your cunt.

“That was one time. I don’t always cry after I come.”

You grabbed his ass and pulled his body closer to you. He let out a low groan as you dug your nails into his voluptuous ass.

“Come on. Cry for me, crybaby,” you teased.

Zeke knitted his brow and didn’t heed your remark. He just kept thrusting away. You felt your orgasm cresting the horizon. You bucked your hips against Zeke.

Eren moaned and ended up coming all over his hand. He licked his palm clean. You were disappointed he didn’t let you lap up his cum.

“Hey, Zeke,” Eren said, catching his breath.

Zeke asked, “What is it now?”

Eren got up and yanked on Zeke’s tail.

“Goddammit!”

“Pull on it again,” you moaned, digging your nails deeper into his plush ass.

Eren was more than happy to comply. A few tears fell from Zeke’s starry, grey eyes.

“Does it hurt, baby?”

“Nah,” he coughed out as Eren tugged on it again. “Maybe a little.”

“Should we g—go easier on you?” You stammered, trying to stave off your orgasm.

“No. Keep doing it.”

Eren moved one of your hands away from Zeke’s ass cheek and he gave it a firm spank.

“Eren!” Zeke yelped.

“Too hard?”

“Just a fucking little!”

You stroked Zeke’s beard, directing his attention on you. He sighed as you tightened around the length of his cock. He gritted his teeth as you writhed underneath him. Eren spanked his ass again, but this time it was gentler. It was inaudible and your little, flaxen dogboy didn’t cry out in pain.

“I’m gonna—“ You desperately moaned.

Zeke gazed down at you; his eyes were dark with lust. They were the color of clouds right before a thunderstorm. You wanted to get caught in his downpour. He fucked you harder than he had before. His cock continued to swell. Your juices flowed from your cunt, intermingling with Zeke’s precum.

“Is he crying?” Eren asked.

You were too caught up in your orgasm to humor Eren’s relentless teasing. Your toes curled and you saw white as you came.

“You look so pretty taking my co—Fuck! Eren!”

You glanced at Eren who had once again pulled on Zeke’s tail. You giggled as Zeke grunted. You used your thumb to wipe away the little tears that had collected in his lower lashes.

“Are you gonna come for me like a good boy?”

He nodded and bucked his hips. A steady stream of cum filled your cunt to the brim. You were stuffed full of its milky warmth and his throbbing knot. You held him close to your body as he finished. Eren, being the little shit he was, tugged on Zeke’s tail one last time. The blonde let out a few whimpers before he collapsed. He was careful not to put his full weight on you.

“Can I come for you like a good boy now?” Eren asked.

“You gotta w—wait a bit. I’m stuck in her for the time being.”

You rubbed Zeke’s ass and he nuzzled his face into your neck. He could be so affectionate. If you ever tried to tell anyone, they’d never believe you. The only people that ever saw this side of him were you and Eren.

“Don’t worry, sweetie. You’ll get your turn,” you said, gesturing to Eren to cuddle up beside you.

Eren did and weaseled his way under your arm. You gave him a little peck on the cheek. It would only be a matter of time before Zeke could pull out and let Eren have his turn.

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