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#it makes me feel like i can’t trust anyone
simplyholl · 2 days
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Under The Stars
Summary: A beautiful night in nature leads to some fun.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F. Reader
Warnings: Smut. 18+ ONLY. Minors DNI. Established relationship. Fingering.
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You had been looking forward to this trip all month. Tony reserved a camping spot for all the Avengers. He said it would be good for everyone to get some fresh air. As spoiled as he is, you figured he meant you were going glamping. You imagined lavish tents with mattresses and air conditioning.
When you and the rest of the team arrived, you were surprised that Tony only had sleeping bags and regular tents for each of you. You all had to pair up, Tony and Pepper, Sam and Steve, Bruce and Natasha, Scott and Clint, Wanda and Vision, Thor and Loki, and you and your boyfriend, Bucky.
Tony gave the boys tent duty. You, Wanda, Natasha, and Pepper sat in your chairs by the lake enjoying a few drinks while watching. The tents put up a good fight against Earth’s mightiest heroes. Scott assembled his and Clint’s in just a few minutes. He explained that he used to go camping all the time as a kid. The others weren’t so lucky. Thor snapped one of the poles almost immediately. Loki stood watching in disgust, his arms folded across his chest.
Sam was trying to put it together while Steve silently read the instructions. Vision finished his right after Scott. Bruce pushed his glasses up on his nose as he read the instructions then did each step. Bucky looked around at the others trying to mimic what they were doing. Tony gave Scott ten dollars to assemble his. When everyone was finally finished, Pepper got out the picnic baskets she packed.
You all spread out on the blankets you brought. You were happy to get a break from all the hustle and bustle of New York. You and Bucky shared the small cake Pepper placed in each basket. You couldn’t wait until it got dark. The stars were what you had looked forward to the most.
It was a lot cooler at night than during the day. You were thankful you brought an extra blanket. You covered yourself and Bucky, laying on his chest as you stargazed. The team talked about the beautiful night sky. Everyone was laughing and talking amongst themselves.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” Bucky whispers in your ear, his hand laying on your stomach. “We’ve been together all day.” You smile back. You realize what he means when he hooks his fingers under the waistband of your panties. “We can’t do that here.” You say quietly, trying not to catch anyone’s attention.
“Guess you’ll have to be quiet then.” He smirks, moving his hand lower. You look towards the others, but they weren't paying attention to you. They were too entranced with the beautiful night sky. Bucky dips two fingers inside, curling them perfectly. You clench around them, checking again to make sure your teammates don't see you.
"They aren't payin' attention to us, babe. Relax." He swirls the rough pad of his thumb against your clit, your vision blurs around the edges. "Already?" Bucky smirks, pumping his thick digits in and out of you. You never lasted long with him. He knew your body like it was his own, and to him it was. You belonged to him in every sense of the word.
His cold, vibranium hand grips your thigh, pulling your legs apart as he works his fingers faster, his thumb swirling in tandem. You were so close just from feeling his metal hand so close to your softest parts. Bucky never touched you with it during sex. He was still afraid a small part of when he was the Winter Soldier lurked somewhere deep inside him. So there was no way he would risk hurting you when he was in his most fragile state.
He lost control when he was intimate with you. He held himself back just in case something happened. "Bucky, please touch me with it." You beg, quietly, reaching for the back of his neck. His brows furrow as realization sinks in. "I can't, angel. What if i hurt you?"
"I trust you." You whisper. That statement alone destroyed all his hesitation. His icy fingers replaced his warm digits. You shiver from the contrast. "You like when I touch you with this? My sweet baby, she thinks she could handle it rough." You whine, eyes widening when you realize you were loud.
Bucky covers your mouth with his free hand, slipping his finger in your mouth, his thumb stroking your cheek. You suck your arousal off his finger. He's never been like this with you before. He was always so gentle. You loved this new side of him. His vibranium thumb swipes your clit as he whispers against your ear. "When we get home, I'll fuck you so hard, you won't be able to walk for a week. You'd like that wouldn't you?"
You cum around his metal fingers, his hand over your mouth barely conceals your cry. He lets you ride your orgasm out, flesh hand leaving your mouth, and smoothing down your hair. "You did so good for me." He praises, placing a kiss to your forehead. "Can we make it through one outing without someone fucking? What are we lovesick teenagers?! At least wait until you're in the damn tent!" Tony yells. You and Bucky smile at each other before bursting into a fit of laughter. "Sorry!" You both shout.
Tags
@cindylynn @wheredafandomat @multifandom-worlds @loz-3 @megharat-barnes-reid @kats72 @crimson25 @mochie85 @cakesandtom @lokidokieokie @theallknown213 @alexakeyloveloki @tmilover1993 @yeaiamme2 @pigeonmama @yeehawbrothers @lokischambermaid @fictive-sl0th @nomajdetective @goblingirlsarah @foxherder @weirdothatwritess @silver-tongue-taken-to-bed @freegardenbanananeck @lamentis-10 @jainaeatsstars @queenshu @justsebstan
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scoonsalicious · 2 days
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Unwanted: Chapter 27, Unhinged - Pt. 8
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, violence, voyerism, coercive sex, manipulation, Pocket reaching her Ultimate Bitch Form.
Word Count: 1.5k
Previously On...: Carthage has been spying on you and manipulating both you and Bucky from Day One.
A/N: THE FIRST TIME DIDN'T COUNT, GUYS!
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43
Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc
“She was just toying with you, Jamie, because she could. She doesn’t respect you. Do you honestly think she would pick you over Steve Rogers? Captain Fucking America? Especially with all the pain you’ve caused? The lives you’ve ended? Come on, Jamie, don’t be dumb.” Video Jade caressed Bucky’s shoulders.
Bucky’s face fell, and you knew she’d hit him where it hurt him the most.
Jade sat back on her haunches on the mattress. “Don’t be stupid, Jamie,” she reiterated. “Do you really think she’d want someone like you, who can’t even control their cock in a fight, when she could have America’s Golden Dick? I bet they laugh at you, how easy it is for them to get away with it, right under your nose. You think it’s just a coincidence that, as soon as you're out of the country, she’s seen by all of New York’s elite getting cozy with your best friend? The one person you asked her to stay away from? She was just waiting for you to get out of the picture so she can show her real boyfriend off to the public.”
You watched as Bucky’s entire body clenched, his face tightening in anger. “You said you wanted to get back at her,” Jade urged, putting her hands back on Bucky’s body. “To punish her for what she did. So punish her, Jamie. Use me. Use me to make her hurt the way she made you hurt. Don’t let her play you for a fool.” You saw Bucky struggle, at war with himself, but you could see the anger pulse through him, and you knew that, with this snake whispering in his ear, there was no way he could have come to any other conclusion than that you had betrayed him. You almost felt sorry for him– he didn’t have a chance.
“Come on,” she said, leaning Bucky back so he was lying propped up on the pillows. “You won’t even need to do anything. Let me take care of you, okay? Let Vixen make you feel good.” Bucky scrunched his eyes closed, putting his hands over his face. It was painfully clear he wasn’t an enthusiastic participant, but it still hurt knowing that he had been so angry at you for something you hadn’t done that he was willing to do this.
“We just have to get Little Jamie to come out to play,” Jade teased as she straddled him. Your view was obstructed by her body, but you had no doubt that she was jerking him off in an attempt to get him hard. 
It just… seemed to be taking a really long time. 
“Come on Jamie,” Jade said after a few minutes. “You gotta help me out here. Give me a little something to work with.”
It seemed to finally work after a while, and Jade re-positioned herself as she lined Bucky up with her entrance. You couldn’t watch anymore, so you shut your eyes. It didn’t stop you from hearing the horrible sounds of her moaning as she bounced up and down on his cock, though.
You thought you were going to be sick, but then you heard it, so soft that if you had your eyes open, your senses diluted, you would have missed it. “Pocket,” Bucky moaned. “Fuck, Pocket. Keep going, baby. I’m so sorry, doll. I’m so sorry. I love you so fucking much.”
His moans grew louder. “Pocket,” he cried, “God, baby, I miss you so fucking much!”
You started laughing. It was the fucking weirdest, most uncomfortable position you’d ever found yourself in in your entire life, but you couldn’t help yourself. 
“Oh my god,” you panted, trying to catch your breath as Jade looked down on you in confusion. “That’s the most pathetic thing I have ever seen!”
Jade wrapped a hand roughly around your throat and squeezed threateningly, cutting off your laughter. “What did you say?” she seethed.
You coughed when she’d released your neck and you could breathe again. A few drops of your blood had fallen from your nose to rest on Jade’s wrist. “I said, that’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever fucking seen.” You jutted your chin toward the phone she still held. “You think that’s proof that he wants you? Oh, honey. You truly are a stupid cunt, aren’t you? He couldn’t even get hard for you without thinking about me. You were a convenient fleshlight– just a hole when I wasn’t available.”
You would have felt monstrous speaking to any other woman like that, truly, but you had to do everything in your power to keep her distracted, to keep her from moving forward with her plan to auction you off to the highest bidder, so that you could buy some time for the calvary to arrive. And besides, Carthage wasn’t just another woman– she was your fucking nemesis, and she deserved every foul word you could throw at her. 
God, you hoped Tony showed up first. The image of him sending Jade through the wall with a repulsor blast was enough to send you into fits of giddy laughter. Then maybe Bruce could toss her around like a ragdoll, the way he had with Loki. You’d pay to see that. You wondered if Carthage had headbutted you hard enough to cause a concussion– you certainly weren’t feeling fully in your right mind.
Jade backhanded you, the force of the blow so hard that your head snapped to the side, leaving you seeing stars. “You’re LYING!” she shouted. Grabbing you by the hair, she hoisted you up, metal chair and all, and slammed your face into the nearest wall. Perhaps she’d rattled a screw loose, because you couldn’t seem to get your laughter under control. “Don’t damage the merchandise, Vixey,” you coughed, spitting out even more blood. “Wouldn’t want to hurt my chances at auction, would you? Bad for business.”
“You fucking bitch!” Jade shouted. She ripped your bindings free from the chair and lifted you up by the throat. “Fuck–” she punched you in the stomach– “the auction!” In the face. “I’m gonna–” In the solar plexus– “fucking kill you–” back to the face– “myself!” Each blow was excruciating, and you were sure you’d heard a rib or two crack under the force of her fist, but still, you kept laughing at her. 
“Poor little fox,” you wheezed through the blood that was pouring down the back of your throat. “All those years wasted, thinking you could ever have a chance with him.” Your head lolled to the side as you tried to look up at her through your rapidly swelling eyelids. “Thinking you were special, that you were made for him, and you can’t even get his dick up. He’s so repulsed by you, he has to imagine being with someone else!”
“Shut up!” Jade screeched. “Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!” She grabbed your left arm in her hands and snapped it. The pain was blinding, sending your vision into a white hot pulses. You screamed, holding the broken appendage to your body, as though that would protect you. You didn’t dare look down at it; knowing you’d be sick at the sight if you did, of your arm dangling uselessly at an unnatural angle. Instead, you curled yourself up into the fetal position, cradling your arm close to your core. 
Jade began pacing the room, tugging at her hair and mumbling to herself. You couldn’t quite make out what she was saying– you only caught snippets of words, like “fucking whore,” and “mine.” The girl had completely lost it, had completely gone off the deep end. Meanwhile, you suspected you were going into shock as you listened to the rat-a-tat-tat of your rapid heartbeat. 
No. You cocked your head, listening. That wasn’t the sound of your heart, beating out of your chest– that was the sound of gunfire echoing through the bowels of the base. You strained your ears. Mixed within the gunshots, you could hear screaming, voices crying out in agony and then cut short, as if their owners suddenly lost access to their breath. 
Through the distant din, you could make out a familiar voice, roaring with rage, and the sound filled your heart up like a balloon. “POCKET!”
You started laughing again.
Jade turned to look at you, her expression furious. 
“I feel sorry for you, Vixen,” you said, grinning like a madwoman. “Me?” she asked you incredulously. “I just snapped your arm like a fucking twig and am going to enjoy the shit out of killing you nice and slowly, and you feel sorry for me?”
You nodded vigorously, gleefully noting that the sound of battle was growing closer. Bucky called for you again, his voice contorted with rage and worry. Jade turned her head toward the sound, noticing it for the first time. “Yup,” you agreed, forcing yourself to stand and face her. You could feel the blood dripping from the corners of your mouth as you smiled from ear to ear. “Seems like my boyfriend’s looking for me, and when he sees what you’ve done, he’s going to kick your fucking ass.”
<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->
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syrupfog · 2 days
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Law has been in the basement of the auction house for almost two weeks when the new merch is brought in. 
He KNOWS Doffy has kept him here longer than necessary just to drag out Law’s suffering. He’s surely going to get sold to a Celestial Dragon immediately, but the waiting…
The waiting, the uncertainty is getting to him. 
But at almost two weeks — 13 days, exactly — the new merch is dragged in. A collection of raggedy pirates, a few fish men, and one guy who, for some reason, doesn’t seem to have had his spirit broken yet.
And of course he’s the one who sits himself down right next to Law. 
At a glance Law sees the sea stone cuffs that designate a devil fruit user. He notes the ridiculous straw hat. He frowns at his grin. 
“Hey,” the guy says. “I’m Luffy, and I’m going to be king of the pirates.”
Law snorts. He’s cuffed to the wall, like this guy probably will be soon, so he can’t move away, but he closes his eyes. “You’re going to be sold to Celestial Dragons and die within the month,” he says. 
“No,” the guy— Luffy— says, sounding petulant. “I’m getting out.”
“Sure you are,” Law says, rolling his eyes. “Because unlike everyone else who’s come through these doors, you’re SPECIAL, yeah?” 
“You’re a jerk,” Luffy says, but he doesn’t sound too put out. “My crew will come for me, don’t worry.”
Law’s heard that before. “Uh huh,” he says. 
“They just gotta find me first,” Luffy muses. “I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. But I trust them!” He wiggles into a comfortable position and his chains rattle. “What’s your name? Do you have friends coming for you?”
“Trafalgar Law,” Law says, because he gets the feeling the conversation will continue with or without his participation. “And no.” 
“Oh,” says Luffy with a frown. “That’s okay, Traffy! You can come with us!” 
“Trafalgar,” says Law. “Not Traffy.”
Luffy laughs. “You’re funny,” he says. Then he frowns. “Do you know when we’re getting food? I’m hungry.” 
Law’s been getting one meal a day, from his estimations. There’s no windows to tell time by, just the changing of the guards. “It’ll be a bit,” he says.
“Awww,” Luffy says. His stomach growls in agreement. Pathetic. He’ll be crying within the day. 
… 
Luffy is NOT crying within the day. 
Luffy also will not shut UP. 
He quickly decides that “Traffy” is his best friend, much to Law’s dismay. He talks about EVERYTHING.
Law quickly comes to know the names of everyone on Luffy’s ship. Hell, he knows the LAYOUT of the ship. He knows Luffy’s favourite food (meat) and favourite drink (milk) and favourite seat (“the lion” whatever that is). 
Most of the others in the basement with them do get their cuffs chained to the wall, but the guards seem SCARED of Luffy for some ungodly reason, so he continues to sit practically pressed against Law. 
Law misses being alone. 
Although this is the most human he’s felt in weeks.
Also, Luffy cons several others out of their meals, in exchange for things like scratching itches they can’t reach, or just sneaking bites when people aren’t looking. 
He doesn’t touch the roll on Law’s plate until Law specifically tells him to take it, though.
Luffy is down there with Law for three days, and suddenly Law is dreading when Luffy gets dragged up to auction and Law is left alone again. He didn’t think he would care that much, but… it’s a sad, aching sort of longing that Luffy has quickly filled sitting with him and acting like Law matters. Like he’s not just a pawn in a game he can never win. 
So, for three days, Law grows comfortable with him. Familiar. Basks in Luffy’s odd light. 
He never should’ve let himself get that comfortable.
Law is lightly dozing when it starts, his head on Luffy’s. But suddenly Luffy is jumping up, and there’s— 
There’s an eye, blinking at them, having materialised on the floor between them. 
An eye and an ear. 
“Robin!” Luffy shouts. The posted guard looks over in confusion.
Lips appear, along with a hand that holds a finger to the lips, and Luffy, SHOCKINGLY, makes a motion of zipping his lips. 
Law didn’t know he knew how to DO that. 
Then the face, such that it was, disappears. Luffy looks to him with a grin. “I told you,” he says.
It’s only moments later when the door to the room slams open, falling off its hinges, and no less than SEVEN PEOPLE come rushing into the room in various states of arguing with each other. One by one they spot Luffy and start cheering, even as they’re making war with the guards.
Law feels the sinking in his stomach as Luffy runs to the front of the bars and a HUGE blue haired man — must be Franky, Law thinks — opens his hands to reveal smaller hands that tinker with Luffy’s cuffs. They drop to the floor without much of a fight and suddenly Luffy’s energy is BOUNDLESS. 
The green haired one — Zoro — cuts through two of the bars and Luffy slips out easily, suddenly engulfed in crew mates who love him even as they chastise him for getting caught. 
Law sits there, and watches freedom happen in front of him, just out of reach.
He’ll miss Luffy, he thinks, even as he tries to tamp down on that thought. That’s not the sort of fate he’s destined for. Cora tried his best, but Law’s never escaped Doffy’s grasp. 
Luffy’s crew starts back toward the door, ushering him along with warnings about a count down
And for a moment they really do disappear through the doorway, although the broken door means their voices are clear. 
And Law sits there, surrounded by others whose spirits are as broken as his, all cuffed to the wall as they can see the hole in the bars made by the swordsman.
He hopes Luffy does accomplish his dream. He hopes at least one of them does. 
And then, suddenly, startling him out of his thoughts, Luffy comes crashing back through the doorway, the blond and green haired ones in tow (and arguing about something).
Luffy points to Law and both of the others converge on him. Law shrinks back and grits his teeth, but all that happens is a sword hits one chain and a foot hits the other and suddenly he’s not attached to the wall anymore.
“Let’s GO, Traffy!” Luffy yells, grabbing Law’s wrist and hauling him upward. 
And suddenly Law is. Running. 
He’s barely eaten or moved in two weeks, but— L
uffy’s hand is around his wrist and pulling him forward. 
And Law grips Luffy’s wrist in return. Like a lifeline. 
He can hear Luffy laugh, the way he laughs through his teeth
And after a maze of hallways they’re out into the bright, bright sunshine 
And Luffy turns, looks at Law, grins at Law, 
Luffy is the sun. Luffy is freedom. 
“Come with me,” he says, hand still clutched tight to Law like it belongs there. 
And Law follows.
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mostlymarvelsstuff · 8 hours
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Moi Devochki: Chapter 2
Warnings: very minor angst bit, smut(grinding, groping, vaginal penetration), a/b/o content (marking, claiming, knotting)
Word count: 3606
WandaNat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist Moi Devochki Masterlist
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 “Don’t you know how to knock?” the redhead questions, “Wait, why are you smiling like that?”
   “I went to talk to Wanda and Y/n like you wanted.” she says
   Nat furrows her brows, “And? Is the Alpha that's leaving scratches, bruises and hickeys on them a team member?”
   Yelena chuckles, “It’s not an Alpha.”
   “It’s a Beta?” Nat asks, surprised a Beta would be that expressive with their affections
   “Each other actually” her younger sister tells her
   Natashas eyes widened. It’s not that she didn’t approve of two Omegas being together, that wasn’t the case at all, as far as she was concerned people deserved to be with who they loved no matter their bearing. She just didn’t expect this, her jealousy for the non existent Alpha definitely clouded her spy senses in this instance because even though she, and she alone noticed the marks you both tried to cover due to her eyes constantly being on both of you, she couldn't figure out you were doing it to the other.
   She just couldn’t see it, far too busy watching any other Alpha that came near you both with an angry glare and a longing for her to be the one touching you both. She realized if she didn’t make a move she had no right to be protective or jealous, but the truth was that the Alpha has wanted you both almost as long as she's known you. But she didn’t want to make a move while Wanda was grieving, and how does one make a move on two Omegas anyway. Then she noticed the bruises and bites beginning to show. She thought she was too late, that she waited too long.
   “You're not messing with me? There's really not an Alpha?” the Alpha questions, afraid to get her hopes up that she still has a chance
   The other Alpha shakes her head, “I wouldn't joke around or lie to you about something that involves your heart sestra(sister).”
   Nat smiles then, a genuine smile that reaches her eyes and Yelena finds herself smiling as well. She hasn’t seen her sister smile like that since you and Wanda joined the team, and before that the last time was when they were pups on that mission in Ohio.
   “Then I have to tell them. I can’t waste anymore time, even if I’m not the Alpha they want, I need them to know my feelings.” she says 
   “Well uh, just hang on. Because I didn’t actually talk to them. I just caught them, and I kind of told them that I wouldn’t tell anyone about what I saw, so…”
   “And what exactly did you see?” Natasha asks, jealousy in her tone
  Yelena chuckles, “Relax, it’s not like I meant to. I just went to talk to them and well, as soon as Y/n opened the door the scent was… well, it was very apparent they had just finished mating.”
   Nat was torn between being concerned for the two of you getting caught by Steve, Bruce or Dr. Strange, and longing to know what your scents and noises were like when you were together. 
   The blonde clears her throat, gaining her sister's attention again, “My point is, how are you going to ask to be with them both if you aren’t supposed to know they're together?”
   Her brows furrow, “Does it matter if you told me when you know I want them? It’s not like I’m going to tell the others or punish them. I want to ask them to be mine.”
   Yelena thinks over her sisters words for a moment, “True, but I don’t want to seem like a liar. I don’t want them to lose trust in me.”
   “I’m sure if I explained the situation they wouldn't be upset about anything.” Nat says, hopeful that her sister will just agree so she can go find the two of you
   The younger of the two sighs, “Khorosho, prodolzhay (Fine, go on).”
   The redhead practically jumps off her bed, making her way to her bedroom door. She quickly turns to look at her sister, “Wait, do I look ok?”
   Yelena groans, “Oh for the love of- they've seen you covered in sweat, dirt, mud, blood, and alien blood and you're worried about how you look?” She blushes slightly but nods her head, Yelena rubs her forehead and looks at her sister. The Alpha is wearing some jeans, a long sleeve olive green shirt and has her long hair done in a braid. “You look perfectly fine Natasha.”
   She smiles again before finally opening her door and heading down the hallway towards Wandas room. It takes everything in her not to run there. Once she arrives she takes a deep breath before knocking on the door. 
   Wanda groans as the two of you cuddle in her nest, “Now what.” she grumbles
   You chuckle while sitting up, bringing her with you, “Better see who it is Wan.” 
  She reluctantly gets up and opens the door, “Oh, hi Natasha.” She tries to not appear nervous at the appearance of the sister of the Alpha that was here mere minutes ago, but the way she spins her rings gives her away.
  “Hey Wanda. Mind if I come in to talk?” she asks, eyes not leaving the Omegas.
   Wanda tries to think of a way to politely decline, afterall you're still in her nest and the room definitely still has hints of her scent from earlier. The Alpha can see the hesitation on her face and decides to help ease her.
   “It’s ok, I know who’s in there and what happened.” she tells the Omega
   Wanda, torn between being embarrassed, happy, and worried that the attractive Alpha in front of her knew this about the two of you, blushes and has to clear her throat before replying, “S-sure, come on in.”
   You look up to see Wanda open the door for- oh god its Natasha. You quickly fumble to get out of the other Omegas nest, “Relax Y/n, you can stay there if you want.” the redhead says and for a split second you forget how to breathe. Though you aren't sure if that was due to being worried or excited that she seemed to know about you and Wanda.
   Wanda, seeing the slight panic on your face, rejoins you in the nest. She holds your hand before addressing the Alpha, “Did Yelena send you to talk with us?” she asks, slightly saddened that the blonde told another Alpha despite promising not to
   “No, she didn’t send me here but she did tell me because I actually sent her here earlier.” she admits.  You both look at her in confusion as she takes a seat on Wandas desk chair.
   “Really, why?” you ask
   The Alpha suddenly looks nervous, “Over the last few months I’ve noticed that the two of you have had a lot of bruises, scratches and such. It made me think an Alpha was trying to make you both theirs. I didn’t like that idea, it made me jealous because I only noticed these things due to my inability to take my eyes off either of you. I’m always thinking about you both. What it would be like to hold your hands, to cuddle with you, to scent you, to wake up next to you both in the mornings, to be able to call you mine.” she admits
    You give Wanda a smile and she nods her head before looking back at Nat, “Don’t wait any longer then, make us yours Tasha.”
    Her eyes sparkle as she smiles at the nickname. She stands and makes her way over to Wandas nest. She gently grabs you both by your chins, lifting your faces to look at hers. She stares at both of you lovingly for a few seconds before her lips crash into Wandas. The kiss starts out soft but quickly gets heated and you're left there to watch, anticipation building to feel the Alphas lips on yours. 
   Eventually they break apart and Natashas lips meet yours, you quickly let her dominate the kiss by opening your mouth to her and she gladly deepens the kiss. 
When she pulls back you can see how dilated her eyes are, and you notice the bulge in her pants. Wanda sees it too and both of you are practically begging for the Alpha. She can see the want in both sets of eyes that look at her, it makes her heart race.
   “Please Alpha, we want you.” you finally cave, begging verbally now. 
   You and the other Omega eagerly begin to undress each other for Natasha, you toss each others shirts across the room in your excitement. The scent of your arousal mixes with Wandas in the air and the Alpha can barely contain herself, but she does. Slowly she settles between you both in the nest, Wanda straddles her lap and a smirk graces your features. Nat looks at you to make sure you're ok with this and you nod, eager to see them together as you help the Alpha learn all of Wandas sensitive spots.
   Natashas hands caress Wandas sides as she makes her way to unclasp the Omegas bra. Wanda lets it fall from her chest, Nat gently touches her breasts and when she notices the nipples harden her touch becomes firmer and she gently squeezes. Wanda moans and grinds down on the Alpha who grunts upon feeling the Omegas ass rub against her clothed hard cock.
   You lean into the Alpha, your hands slipping under her shirt. Your nails rake across her abbs, her head falls back as she lets out a moan of her own. You and Wanda take advantage of this position and begin to kiss and gently suck on Nats neck. Her breathing quickens and you know she's desperate to have you both. 
   Your gaze moves to Wanda, “Pants off for our Alpha, printsessa(princess).”
   Wanda quickly stands to obey, and the Alpha can feel a warmth in her chest from you calling her ‘our Alpha’. She watches Wanda strip the rest of the way and can feel her cock throb in her pants. Wanda slowly crawls back into the nest and Natashas eyes look over to you. You smile as your hands reach for her jeans, she sighs as you undo them. She lifts her hips and you easily slide her pants and underwear off of her.
   You can feel your slick pool between your legs as you take in the sight of the Alphas large cock. You watch as Wanda clenches her thighs together, likely feeling the same as you and Nat smirks as she sees both of your reactions. Wanda gently tugs on the Alphas shirt and she gets the hint, she quickly removes it. You and Wanda each reach a hand behind her back unclasping her bra.
   She sits there a moment letting the two of you take in her body before the waiting becomes too much for her, “Come here dorogoy(sweetheart)” she says, gesturing for Wanda.
   The Omega listens and straddles the Alphas lap once more, she hovers just above Nats cock. It takes a lot of the Alphas focus to not just thrust up into her, instead she takes two of her fingers and slips them through Wandas slick soaked lips. Wanda whimpers at the feeling and she watches as the Alpha sucks her fingers clean. 
   “You're ready for me, aren’t you dorogoy(sweetheart)?” she asks
   Wanda nods her head, “Yes Tasha”
   Natasha grabs the Omegas hips and gently lowers her until she feels herself slip inside. They both moan and Nat finds she can’t hold back anymore. Her arms encircle Wanda and she effortlessly flips them over. Now on top she thrusts herself  in and out of Wanda at a faster pace. The Omega moans in pleasure and reaches a hand out for you.
   You let her pull you closer, the Alpha watches as your lips pepper kisses and suck marks into Wandas collarbone. Upon seeing how much the Omega likes that spot Nat joins you. Wanda gasps and pants at the attention she's getting from you both, she whimpers and moans as Natashas cock pounds into her. She knows she won’t last much longer. You pull back, letting them have their moment.
    She cups the Alphas face, “Knot me, claim me, please.”
    Nat groans at hearing this and quickly kisses her tenderly, she quickens her thrusting and as Wandas walls begin to squeeze her she can feel her knot grow. It slams against the Omega a few times before she's able to slip inside. They both moan as the Alpha locks into place, Wanda can feel herself being filled with Natashas cum and she trembles as her orgasm washes over her. 
   The Alpha bites into one of Wandas scent gland and cleans her mark before pulling away, “Mine” she says
   Wanda could cry she's so happy, instead she pulls Nat closer, sinking her teeth into her one scent gland, “My Alpha, my mate” she says before cleaning the mark.
   While they're joined for the next few minutes your one hand caresses the Omegas cheek as the other runs up and down the Alphas back. Wanda purrs at the affection and Natasha hums as she enjoys having you both so close. 
   After her knot deflates Nat is slow to pull out of Wanda, not wanting any of her seed to spill. Wanda whines at the emptiness she now feels, the Alpha kisses her tenderly to offer comfort.
   Your whine quickly brings her attention to you however. You sit there with your thighs clenched drenched in your own slick, you enjoyed watching them be together but you desperately want the Alpha to take you and claim you too. Wanda smiles as she watches the way Nat looks at you, it's the same way she looks at you.
   Natasha crawls off of Wanda and over to you. She brings a hand up to your face and runs her thumb across your cheek. You lean into her touch, craving more. Her hands move to your bra clasp and she quickly rids you of it, then she tugs at the waistband of your pants.
   “Take these off for me medovyy(honey)” she tells you. You purr at the nickname.
   You gladly obey, you practically jump from the nest to finish undressing. You can feel Two pairs of eyes on you as you do so and you smile. You quickly rejoin them in the nest. The Alphas hands caress your sides as she guides you to lay down. She gently spreads your legs apart and slots herself between them. She practically moans at the amount of slick you've produced. 
   “Look how wet you are medovyy(honey). You liked watching me fuck Wanda, didnt you?” she asks with a smirk on her face.
   You nod, “Yes Tasha.” you reply, the nickname Wanda used earlier slipping from your lips.
   She smiles, lining herself up with your pussy. She slowly pushes into you and you moan at feeling her stretch you. She grabs your hips and begins thrusting in and out of you. Wandas hands cup your breasts and you can’t stop the whimpers and gasps that leave you as Nat continues her thrusts. You can feel a heat rush to your core as they both give you attention.
   As Wanda begins to kiss and suck at your neck your legs wrap around the Alpha, bringing her closer and deeper into you. She grunts in response, she loves how well you both take her. She leans down and plants a heated kiss to your lips, you moan into it as her thrusts become faster.
    Wanda knows you're close. She pulls away from you, giving you and Natasha your moment just as you had done with her. Your walls start to start to squeeze the Alpha and she moans at the feeling, her knot grows and you can feel it gently push at your entrance.
   Her eyes meet yours, silently asking if she can knot you as well, “Please Alpha, I want your knot.” you answer
   She smiles as her knot slips into you and locks into place. Your legs tremble as you both cum together, her seed practically pours into you and you moan at how full you feel of your Alpha. 
   She nuzzles your neck before biting into one of your scent glands, she quickly cleans her mark, “Mine.” she says
   You smile before sinking your teeth into her other scent gland, you clean it before pulling away, “My Alpha.”
   You stay together for a few minutes just as she and Wanda had, and just like you had the Omega caresses your cheek and Nats back. Eventually the Alpha slowly pulls out from you as well and lays back into the nest.
   She looks at you and Wanda, “Come her moi devochki(my girls), come cuddle with your Alpha.”
   You each snuggle into her sides, you and Wanda hold each others hands and Natasha runs a hand through Wandas hair, her other running through your hair. You both purr at her affection. 
   Suddenly the Alpha can feel tears from both her Omegas hitting her skin. She panics briefly, worried that somethings wrong or that she's done something wrong.
  “My Omegas, what's wrong?” she asks as she gently guides your faces to look at hers
   Wanda shakes her head, “Nothings wrong Alpha, we’re just really happy.”
   “We’ve wondered what it would be like to have an Alpha for a while now, but until we met you we never wanted a specific Alpha.” you add
   “We were worried you wouldn't accept us loving each other or that you'd only want one of us if you even wanted either of us at all.” Wanda adds
   Natasha looks at you both, her hands cup your and Wandas cheeks, “Moi devochki(my girls), I have wanted you both since I first laid eyes on you. I knew I wouldn’t be happy without having you both by my side, I knew you were the Omegas meant for me. You have no idea how happy it makes me now to be able to call you mine.” she admits a few tears of her own escaping
   Wanda leans in and kisses your Alpha who eagerly returns the kiss, they break apart and rest their foreheads together. 
   “I love you Tasha.” the Omega says 
   Nats smile is huge, “I love you too Wanda” 
   They pull apart from each other and you take Wandas place on Nats lips.
   Your smile matches your Alphas, “I love you Tasha”
   “I love you too Y/n.” she says as she pulls you and Wanda back into her sides. “And I know you two love each other too, so I want you to be able to bond. Don’t worry about anyone's reactions to it ok? I promise I’ll make sure no one lays a hand on either of you, and I’ll be damned if anyone could take either of you away from me. I’ll keep you both safe.”
   Wanda looks at you excitedly as you look up at your Alpha, “You really mean that? You’d let us mark each other?”
   “Of course I would, we’re all each others mates afterall.” she answers
   Wanda suges forward capturing you lips with her own, Nat chuckles as she watches you struggle to keep up with the intensity of the kiss.
   “I want you now printsessa(princess), please.” you beg as she pulls away from you.
   She nods eagerly, “I want you too detka(baby), can’t wait to make you mine.”
   You lay back for her, Natasha watches as she crawls over to you. One hand teases a nipple as her other makes its way through your folds, you’ve already produced enough slick that she easily slips two fingers inside you. You moan and grind your hips into her hand.
   “Please printsessa(princess), I need more” you say
   She complies by slipping a third finger into you, she pumps them in and out of you at a faster pace. Nat brings her hand to Your neck, her thumb brushes against the scent gland she marked and you can barely contain yourself. Your walls tighten around her fingers and she knows you’re close, she brings her thumb to circle your clit and your orgasm quickly washes over you.
   she leans down and bites into your unmarked scent gland, the pure happiness you both feel as she marks you is indescribable. She's waited so long and was never sure she’d be able to do it. She pulls away after cleaning her mark and smiles at you, “You're my Omega Y/n, just like you always said I would be.”
   You smile before bringing her closer, you bite into her unmarked scent gland. You clean it before letting her go, “And you're my Omega.”
   The two of you rest your foreheads together as you both shed more tears of happiness, Your Alpha quietly and fondly watches you both enjoy this moment and she's so happy she was able to let you both have this. You both deserved to be able to bond with the other. The love you shared was so pure and wholesome, it should've been illegal to keep the two of you apart.
   The two of you pull apart and find yourselves being scooped into your Alphas hold, she pulls you close to her before she lays back, relaxing once more. You and Wanda settle into her sides again as you both purr. The Alpha enjoys hearing you both, she soaks up the sound as the three of you drift off to sleep.
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Taglist: @wandaromamoff69 @when-wolves-howl @danveration @sheneonromanoff @sayah13 @likefirenrain @nighttime-dreaming @chaoticevilbakugo @crystalstark02 @wackymcstupid @lovelyy-moonlight @blackwidow-3 @mistressofinsomnia @that-one-gay-mosquito @yomamagf @yourfavdummy @justarandomreaderxoxo @scoutlp23-blog @whoischanelle15 @lissaaaa145 @eline03 @wizardofstories@imthenatynat @marvelonmymind @fluffyblanketgecko @bitch-616 @dakotastorm @zoomdeathknight @aeroae @sashawalker2 @maggieromanov @doveromanoff @mommyluvu @404-almostdone @tarathia @ayoungexwife
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sunkissed-zegras · 19 hours
Note
more nika headcannons please☹️
AAAA YES NIKA !!!!
─ warnings | okay so this is kinda short, pls lmk if yall want more!!!!!!
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i don’t feel like nika’s thing is pda, like the most she will do is like a kiss on the cheek MAYBE
but girl trust as soon as you guys are alone she is ALL over you, like she can’t keep her hands off
and nika is like a generally aggressive player and seems very like stand offish
but with her girl SHE WILL LITERALLY BEFOME A WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON
she’s so soft and like babyyyyyyy idk how else to explain it
she just wants to be taken care of 🥹 like she acts all tough and stuff but in reality she’s just a SOFTIE
and honestly you’re so whipped for her, but nika is like.. DOWN down bad
she’s usually very level-headed but when it comes to you, it is all thrown out the window
and this in ALL aspects — like if you ever need anything, at any time of day, nika will be there for you and do anything you need
also, she loses her shit when anyone hurts you even slightly
you think paige is insane when it comes to their person, you have NOT seen nika
it’s a totally different level of protective
maybe even over protective at times
when it comes to weirdo strangers at parties, yeah she’s cussing them out!!! and she isn’t afraid to put her hands on them too if they get too close!!!
like paige, she will get mad at anyone who hurts your feelings because who the fuck are they to hurt her precious girlfriend??!?!?
oh don’t even get me started if she sees tears, it’s over for them
doesn’t matter if you tell her not to get involved, she will defend you with her life
and it doesn’t matter who either, she’s so fiercely loyal!
speaking of loyalty, she literally only has eyes for you
even before you’d started dating, she’s loyal and will not even think about people
it takes her a while to catch feelings so that means it takes a LOT for her to lose feelings, therefore you’re stuck with her for life
but who would mind she’s the BEST
oh my gosh her accent makes you feral (it makes everyone go feral who can blame em?)
and she uses that to her advantage FOR SUREEEEE
she makes you wear her jerseys to games ALWAYS!
like if you show up to a game without her number on you, she’s gonna be pissed
idk why i get the vibe she’s lowkey petty too😭
she would pick stupid fights with you just so and you’ll get really annoyed with her sometimes because it’s like
babe… is it really that serious?
but it’s never too serious so you guys make up by the end of day
but if it is serious, nika WILL take it seriously and do everything in her power to either make it right or talk to you
because she knows communication is KEY!
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beautifulbows924 · 2 days
Text
Common Ground
Act One!Astarion x Gender Neutral!Reader
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Masterlist
Word Count: 650+
A/N: This fic is sort of a combination of a few of the (comparatively) similar requests I received, along with one particular scene that’s been running wild and ping ponging around in my brain for far too long. I somehow convinced my partner (who could not care less about fanfiction, but adores me) to proofread this for me. So any complaints should definitely be addressed to them—as I was, unfortunately, far too sleep deprived to read over this anymore than I already have. As always, I hope you enjoy—feel free to leave any feedback you have in the comments, and happy reading! :)
Warnings: Angst, intentional allusions to past SA (the circumstances are left purposefully vague), concerning both Astarion and the Reader, writer will often suddenly break off into unexpected poetic tangents, a smidge of fluff—if you squint, & perhaps a bittersweet ending (depending on how you interpret it?)
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“Darling”, Astarion carefully poses his words, “Are you certain that you’re quite alright?”
You’re terrified. He can see it. Your pulse is visibly thumping beneath your skin, and there’s a tremor to your hands he’s certain wasn’t there before.
But why now?
You’ve told him you trust him, demanded the others leave if they weren’t willing to accept the gift that is his company, and mere seconds ago offered yourself to him as a meal—to what you, with both intimate knowledge and first hand experience, know is a hungry vampire.
He would be questioning your sense of self preservation, or alternatively, your sanity. If he wasn’t awed by just how quickly you’ve managed to sway your companions' loyalty.
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It takes a moment for you to notice he’s asked you a question. But once you have, you nod.
He sighs, clicking his tongue at you. That vacancy behind your eyes, it’s unnerving, too familiar. “Don’t lie, it doesn’t suit you. What is it?”
Your gaze shifts, opting to search for what must be a rather interesting spot somewhere behind him.
Two breaths in.
Two breaths out.
Astarion falters. That may have been harsh—if your continued silence is anything to go by. Perhaps, he should have left the lie to rest.
“Dearest”, he works to intentionally soften his tone, shoving past the honeyed lump that rises in his throat, thickly coated with syrup. This little manipulation won’t be ending in a hand naively held between his as he leads you down unassuming crypt steps.
He knows that.
“If you’ve suddenly changed your mind about”, he gestures vaguely between himself and your neck, “I’m sure I can make do with whatever animals find themselves unluckily situated in this part of the forest.”
Humble or selfless certainly isn’t his favorite role to play, but if he wants you to be his personal guard, it seems he may have to make an exception.
“No!” You blurt out, swallowing thickly at the raised brow he sends in your direction, mouth suddenly very dry, “I—It’s not that. I swear to you.”
He tuts, “Ah, but it is something. Hmm?”
You nod again, frustrated tears building in your eyes as each attempt at an explanation falls flat.
“No, it couldn’t—it”, Astarion makes a rather exaggerated motion with both of his hands, clutching his chest in theatrical shock, “Was it Gale?”
You huff, but it’s more exasperated than annoyed.
The left side of his lips lifts.
You drag your own roughly between your teeth.
“Earlier, you made a comment about being quiet, not wanting to disturb my rest”, unsteady hands bury themselves in the fabric of your pants, “Those words, the sudden realization that someone…anyone could have access to my body like that while I slept”, your head slumps forward, “The last time—I can’t.”
Two breaths in.
Two breaths out.
Astarion’s fingers slot into place beneath your chin, tilting it upwards to look at him.
And suddenly all you can see are the differences.
Everything he is appears less forced. No longer are you merely an audience and he an actor, but equals. Those that have found a common ground built upon the cruelty of others.
Far too accustomed to it.
There’s a raw familiarity held within your expression Astarion can’t quite discern.
Perhaps, in another life, someone cared for him. Once. To look at him with such fondness.
He wonders if he deserved it, then.
He allows the hold he has on you to become lighter and lighter, until his arm returns to hang at his side.
You hear a weary sigh, then, gently, “For what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry.”
A small smile flutters across your lips, light and without expectation. It’s a kindness he hasn’t yet learned how to navigate—and certainly has not earned, but he yearns for it all the same.
“Thank you, Astarion.”
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BG3 Taglist: None yet!
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hushed-chorus · 3 days
Text
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Hi everyone! I’m climbing out of my cave and scheduling this in advance to spread the good word about vampire angst. Because, as anyone who’s read my blog title knows, I am a fiend for vampire angst, and there is some cracking vampire angst in this fandom.
Here's a selection of fics that dive into the tasty vampire stuff, especially ones that come with a serving of ‘this sucks actually’. I love all of these, but I’m sure I’ve forgotten or missed other great fics, so please feel free to reblog with your own recs!
Also, since these fics all deal with how being a vampire sucks, I’d recommend checking the tags before diving in.
The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch by @monbons
I am asking you all, please, hop on board and join me in reading along with this WIP. Monbons has a wonderful writing style; well-paced and impactful. She’s made some inspired choices in this AU. Angsty, clever, and so, so engrossing. Tasty angst so far, and we still have many chapters to go!
burning pitch by stainedglassflood
Lamb is a character who really fascinates me. This ficlet imagines a conversation Baz and Lamb would have if Lamb discovered Baz was a mage under less bloody circumstance. This short and sweet fic is something of a hidden gem, and I’ll cry forever that this is a 600 word fic, not a 60k one.
Crowding out the Bad (with Good) by twigs_in_my_hair
Another WIP, and if you are a fan of lore, this is one for you. This AU involves Simon trying to improve his diet with the help of nutritionist (and reluctant vampire) Baz. Twigs devotes so much to exploring Baz’s feelings about his vampirism, and how it has left marks on his life, behaviour, etc. And, of course, there's a lovely bit of slow burn Snowbaz along the way!
Joy and Trust by @bookish-bogwitch
Bogwitch constantly surprises and impresses me with her range. This short (400 words), sweet and heartbreaking ficlet sees Baz receiving a Visiting during the events of Carry On. I love it so much.
Proof of Life by @roomwithanopenfire
What if Natasha Pitch survived the vampire attack, but Baz still got Turned? What would that mean for Baz and the World of Mages? In this WIP, it means a Baz who is even more angsty about being a vampire than he already is in canon—and with good reason. Added bonus is the consideration for the wider canon divergence. What would Watford be like if Natasha is still headmistress but Davy is the Mage? Very intriguing fic so far, especially now we’ve landed in eighth year!
This is where it ends by LakeWitch
The least Baz-focused on the bunch, this fic is about the Mage taking Old Family children prisoner for leverage and the aftermath. It sees Baz hit his lowest point (gave me the big good sads), and then follows how he and Simon recover from all they’ve been through. Love it. 
A Record of You and I by Sip_of_your_soul
Argh. I just can’t. This one hurt so good. Want to die a little inside for fun? Read this.
Thanks everyone, I'm eager to see any recs you wanna make! Tags below the cut!
@artsyunderstudy @facewithoutheart @captain-aralias @raenestee @cutestkilla
@ivelovedhimthroughworse @larkral @stitchyqueer @you-remind-me-of-the-babe
@ileadacharmedlife @confused-bi-queer @aristocratic-otter @whogaveyoupermission
@nightimedreamersworld @fatalfangirl @thewholelemon @onepintobean @shrekgogurt
@theearlgreymage @martsonmars @blackberrysummerblog @orange-peony @valeffelees
@j-nipper-95 @rimeswithpurple @wellbelesbian @imagineacoolusername
@youarenevertooold @iamamythologicalcreature @supercutedinosaurs @alexalexinii
@bookish-bogwitch @cosmicalart @bazzybelle @theotherhufflepuff
@that-disabled-princess @prettygoododds @mooncello @noblecorgi @roomwithanopenfire
@emeryhall @monbons
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an0ther1 · 2 days
Text
Untitled pt.2
Leah x OC
A/N: A little more in my current project. I’m still getting a feel for my characters. Feedback/thoughts welcome.
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“What are we at, one more week?” Kim adjusted the weight on the bench press bar.
“Abouts yeah. I make it to the end of the week without any pain and things feel normal, I’ll get to run on the grass with everyone next.”
Kim laid down on the bench. “Well I’m sure you know what I’m going to say, but I’m going to say it anyway. Don’t do anything stupid and listen to your body. If something is off, waiting an extra day or 2 isn’t going to kill you.” She pushed the bar up off the rack. “Trust me.” She grunted as she lowered the bar to her chest.
“I hear you. And I won’t.”
“Hey Caps.” Beth came bouncing to the end of the bench. “Le, what time do we have the venue for Saturday?”
“Umm, 9 until whenever really. Though I told ‘em it would probably wrap up around 5. 6 hours for a baby shower seemed like more than enough.” Leah answered as she spotted Kim.
“Probably right on that. So we have 2 hours to decorate? That should be plenty. I think Steph has the catering scheduled for between 10 and 11.” Beth twisted her lips as she tried to remember.
“What did I do?”
“Catering. What time is that showing up?”
“Ah, yeah. 10:30 bouts. I’ll call and confirm on Thursday though.”
Kim put the bar back on the rack and sat up. “If we can get in at 9, I’ll schedule the cake and sweets to come around 10.”
“So we just need all the girls to show up at 9 to set up?” Leah switched with Kim after removing a few pounds from either end of the bar.
“Yeah, that should be about it. Caitlin promised that she kept a check on Katie and the games, but Stina is going to claim that she will be the one running the games so she can see what she came up with.”
“Good idea Meado. When Katie called dibs on games and said she was going to use a few “McCabe family classics” I was a bit worried about what those would entail. You really never know what you might get with an Irish family that large.” Kim helped Leah lift the bar to start her set.
“I thought most of Katie’s siblings were younger than her?” Steph asked.
“Ask her to name all her cousins some time.” Lotte interjected as she joined the group. “We talking about Erin’s baby shower?” The group nodded. “You know she’s right there.” Lotte pointed across the room to Erin, their social media content creator, who was sitting in a chair with a laptop balanced on a very round belly. “I thought this was supposed to be a surprise.”
“She has her headphones in editing. She can’t hear anything.” Beth shrugged. “You have everything worked out with Dylan?”
“Yeah. Him and Tao have some plan that Dylan swears Erin will fall for. They’re going to tell her I have a children’s event to attend so I can help set up.”
“Great. And Viv has been talking to Erin’s family, she just needs to confirm the time with them.” Beth added.
“What about Dylan’s family?” Leah said as she finished her set in the bench press. “I know they're American, but is Dylan’s parents planning on being here when Gemma is born? They might be in by then.”
Lotte shook her head. “Dylan told me and Tao he doesn’t talk to anyone in his family besides his cousin Rose.”
“Wait, isn’t that the middle name they’re giving Gemma?” Steph asked.
“Yeah. Rose is the cousin he grew up with. Dylan talks about her like a sister. I think she’s a year or two older. But she’ll be there. So he’ll at least have some family.” Lotte finished.
“Sounds like this is going to be a fantastic party for our little Gooner and her mum.” Kim looked around the group. “But now, finish up your reps. We’re on the pitch in 30.”
Everyone saluted their captain before dispersing.
**************************
The week for the most part had gone smoothly. The team didn’t have their first January game for another 10 days. But Leah was finally going to be able to join team trainings next week, after almost 9 months, and the anticipation was wearing her thin. Several times she was asked if she was excited, or nervous, and repeatedly reminded that the wait was almost over. Almost. She was sure Saturday was going to be full of the same, though the full Arsenal staff and then some would be at Erin’s baby shower, so Leah would hear it ten fold. She needed a break. Which is how she found herself out to dinner on a Friday night, alone, sitting at the end of the bar top of the restaurant she had come to the previous week. She had come in a little earlier this time though, hoping it would be less crowded before the dinner rush, and she had been right, allowing her to get the same seat at the end with her back to everyone else. Tonight she would be any other diner. Not soon to return from injury, Leah Williamson.
Leah greeted Colin as she took her seat, ordering a glass of Chardonnay. The bar keep was placing the glass in front of Leah with a menu before she had even gotten comfortable.
“Would you like the chicken again?” The ginger asked.
“Might do an app first. Take my time and do some reading on my phone if it’s no bother.” Leah smiled.
“Not at all. I’d say the hummus is great. That and the pitas are made in house.”
“Yeah? Alright. I’ll start with that, thanks.” Leah pushed the menu back towards Colin. “And I’ll order the chicken a little later.”
Colin reached for the menu. “I’ll have that right out.”
Leah leaned back in her chair and pulled up the book she was reading on her phone. Picking the wine glass up off the bar, she took a small sip and relaxed. Colin placed a plate in front of her a short time later and for the next 20 minutes or so, she enjoyed her wine and appetizer completely uninterrupted while she read. The noise in the restaurant slowly rose as the main dining area filled and the seats at the bar top were taken one by one. Colin had just refilled her wine and was putting in her dinner order when someone finally claimed the last seat next to her.
“Is this seat taken, miss?”
Leah had heard that voice before. She lowered her phone. “No it’s not. By all means.” She smiled at the new guest. “Hello again RJ.”
“Miss Williamson.” RJ smiled softly as they pulled out the chair before placing their coat over the back. “Nice seeing you here again.”
“Will you be watching another football match?” Leah asked as she watched RJ prop their phone up on top of the bar.
“I was planning on finally watching Sinclair’s last international match. Figured if I did it in public I wouldn’t cry.” RJ waved at Colin and gave him a thumbs up. Clearly not needing words to order.
“Are you Canadian?”
RJ chuckled and shook their head slightly. “No. But as a kid I just kind of decided she was my favorite player and that was that. Figured after a month I should finally just bite the bullet and watch the damn game.”
“Mmmm, yeah, retirement games are hard to watch. She’s still playing one more year for the Thorns though, yeah?” Leah finished the last of her wine and caught Colin’s eye, signally for another glass.
“She is. But that doesn’t make watching this any easier.” RJ picked up their phone and waved it before unlocking it. Leah couldn’t help but notice that their background looked like an abstract black and white print of some sort. Once RJ had the game queued up they set it back on the bar top. “You’re welcome to watch. But I won’t bother you if you wish to continue what you were doing.” They hit the play button on the screen.
“Thank you. I think I might try to finish this chapter of the book I was reading.” Leah turned back to her phone as Colin placed RJ’s drink down and refilled Leah’s wine glass. The pair sat in companionable silence as Leah continued reading.
“Who do you think is going to take the armband in the future?” Leah broke the silence after putting her phone down. “Sinc has been captain far longer than I can remember.”
“Fleming.” JR’s said with a seconds hesitation.
“Seriously? She’s so young?”
RJ turned in their chair and looked Leah straight in the eye. “Really?” They paused for a moment. “You, the youngest captain in England history, is going to say that Jessie Fleming, who is 25, is too young.”
“Oh. Yeah I see your point.”
“Aside from her age.” RJ turned back. “She’s been a regular fixture on the national team for about 9 years. When Sinc and Schmidt stepped off this field she was the 4th longest tenured player on the team.” RJ took a sip of their drink.
“You aren’t just a casual fan, are you?
RJ side-eyed Leah. “What makes you say that?”
“A casual fan generally doesn’t know those types of statistics for a player who don’t play for their team”
“How do you know she doesn’t play for “my team”?” RJ used air quotes. “She may not play for the US, but.”
“Ew. You’re a Chelsea fan?” Leah dramatically recoiled further from RJ who just laughed.
“No.” RJ smiled. A full bright, cheerful smile. “I am a fan of the players individually, especially Fishel and Macario. But not the team as a whole.”
“Do you even have a WSL team?” Leah raised an eyebrow.
“I do.” RJ smirked. “And don’t worry. They wear the right shade of red.” They leaned back in their seat. “Can I ask you something? None football related and not terribly personal.” They rushed out the last bit. “And you obviously don’t have to answer.”
“Well with those conditions, sure.”
RJ tilted their head. “If you hadn’t become a pro footballer, what would you have chosen to do?”
“Probably an accountant or something like that. I’m pretty good with numbers and enjoy that there is always an answer to any problem.”
“Figures.”
“What’s that s’pose to me?” Leah asked, offended by the assumption, regardless of what it was.
“You play football like a mathematician, calculated.”
“Oh.” Leah adjusted in her seat, sitting up a bit straighter. “Thank you.”
RJ just hummed in response.
“What about you? You obviously know what I do and now what I would do.” Leah relaxed a bit in her chair. “Colin said you did something in media, I think.”
RJ glanced down the bar at the mentioned bartender. “Digital media.”
“What do you do in digital media? That seems like a, a very broad field. And do you work for a company in the UK?”
RJ took a long slow sip of their drink, clearly stalling as they then swirled the liquid in the glass before answering. “The company is US based. I do a lot of behind the scenes stuff, sometimes editing, camera work, desk stuff.”
Leah picked up her phone. “Must be a small company if you’re doing all of that. Is there an Insta page I can check out? Give a like.”
“Yes, we have an Instagram account.”
“Okay. What’s the name of the company?” Leah had the app open and was just waiting.
RJ had their glass to their lips when they answered. “-third.”
“What was that?”
“Attacking Third.” RJ repeated.
“Really? That’s the show that covers the NWSL, right?” Leah started looking at the company's account on their app. “If they cover the NSWL, what are you doing here? Covering former NWSL players or something?”
“Something like that.”
Colin approached with a plate in hand. “Ms. Williamson, your chicken.” He slid the plate onto the bartop. “Enjoy. RJ, did you want anything?” RJ raised their now empty glass. “Be right back.”
After Colin dropped off the drink, the pair continued watching the game in silence as Leah ate her meal. Her plate was finished and cleared away when the match hit halftime. “I should get going. I have an event I need to be at tomorrow morning with the girls that will be far more mentally draining than 90 minutes on the pitch.”
RJ chuckled. “I can only imagine.”
The footballer gave the other patron a soft smile. “It was good to see you again. Maybe we’ll get lucky again.”
“I’ll get my hopes up.” They smiled. “Have a good evening Ms. Williamson.”
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designernishiki · 9 months
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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions#and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety#but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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littleguyconnor · 3 months
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Was thinking about “meet the spy” again, yknow because I’m normal, and I realized two things.
First one is not a realization so much as it is an observation, but it’s the language that spy uses when he’s disguised as scout. It’s all the same cadence, lingo, and verbiage that he uses and I find that extremely funny. Because like. Not only does he know modern slang but he knows how to use it also. Do you think he ever uses them outside of work 💀 like “uhg… this sucks total balls.”
Second is that Oh My God? Spy must be riddled with anxiety. This man is anxious as all hell twenty four seven. Imagine it. You’re feet, sometimes inches away from the enemy all day. And he was alone in there too, there wasn’t any backup if things went wrong. It was either, you do this perfectly on the first try, or you die. That’s a Lot.
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willowfey · 9 months
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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal
#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept#i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them#if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens#i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it#i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut#it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair#my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking#if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back#if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off#ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal#but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends#i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens#and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too#since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out#i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now#now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that#i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill#in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it#my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes#sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested#i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore#i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world
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pepprs · 1 year
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i will shut up abt this i promise but like. the concept of being in a stable safe mutually loving whatever relationship is INSANE . like how can you ever feel bad about yourself or wounded or whatever again. it’s like a superpower or somethi ng. <- doesn’t know what she’s taking abt bc she’s never experienced it or the absence of it after having it merely the negative space of it and is filling in the gaps w logic or something. but it’s INSANE to me. like of course i feel like shit about myself i am catcrumb unloved.jpg!
#purrs#imbeing insane about it i know it’s not that simple / reductive and i will still feel like shit abt myself once im in a relationshp (if i#get to be ♥️) and there are lots of other legitimate reasons to feel shit agtbyiurself. but it’s like no ficking wonder i feel inadequate i#am a 24 year old who lives at home and has never held a hand or whatever next to two 50sometjinf year old married men with pets and phds. of#course i am going to feel inadequate and stupid and lonely. like i canttttt 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 and th w worst part is you can’t just go out into#the world saying that and looking for that it has to find you so i will not join any dating apps or whatever but i don’t fucking go anywhere#so im not going to meet anyone and i knowi am so young and stupid and just having a horrible day that is reminding me of horrors. but the#way i am mentally shoving my whole fist in my mouth. OF COURSE I FEEL LIKE SHIT I DONT HAVE A LIFE PARTNER!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE THAT#SAFETY AND STABILITY AND TRUST AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!!!!!! AND I NEVER HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#delete later#like this is what makes me crazy abt parents and kids too and whyi don’t think ihave kids. bc i think (and i know this is wrong / unhealthy)#it is a primal human need to be mutually someone else’s number 1 person and when you have kids it’s like you’re gonna love your partner more#than the kids and then the kids (read: me) watch that and get fucked up over it. but also that could just be me reacting to the UNSPEAKABLE#psychological damage of being a twin. which again is ridiculous bc it’s n out like abuse i just had to share something with someone else si#since before i was born and ofc there was more like actually kind of abusive stuff on top of it LOL but that aside. idk what im saying i#just feel so crazy. the amount of composure it takes me every day to not start SCREAMING with frustration and envy when i see ppl being#RIGHTFULLY DESERVEDLY visibly confident and loved. like ok valentines grinch go sit in the drainage pond forever please. but it’s so crazy#like how are you supposed to go through the world unaware of how much love you’re missing out on because you’re young and then you realize I#it and then somehow you miss the train and you are scared you are going to d*e alone ♥️ im normal
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Have you ever been so inspired to make something, but lack the technical skill to make it, or for some reason or another have no way to externally express this like pent up need to make SOMETHING, and it feels like a gazillion thoughts running through your head and you get so restlessly frustrated because you NEED to make something, but for some reason or another, be it personal or technical, you just can’t? And then you end up giving yourself an anxiety attack and heart palpitations and it feels like you’re going to explode?
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myname-isnia · 4 months
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Idk why I thought the new year would suddenly bring immense change to me as a person, it was such a childish belief, I can’t believe I let myself fall for it. The years go by but I remain the messed up anxious wreck who starts crying the second she’s left alone with her thoughts. The new year won’t change anything, nothing will
#just look at me#I could very possibly graduate from school in half a year and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life#I can’t take the slightest bit of criticism or else I’ll feel like shit for a week#I need to be staring at a screen at all hours of the day because if I don’t distract myself I will break down#I’m so obsessed with pleasing people that when I can’t fulfill the simplest of requests I want to die#indulging in hobbies. things that are supposed to be enjoyable. feels like hell for me#through all my years of creating there is only one piece I can honestly say I like and am proud of#and I haven’t even touched writing since because I’m scared of not being able to reach that high again#art comes a little easier but I’m only capable of one or two pieces a month#I don’t have anyone irl whom I trust. I’m so lonely that I literally have imaginary friends. at 17#and I still haven’t figured out my gender or what pronouns I prefer. I don’t even like the name I picked for myself#I could go on forever#I don’t know how anyone puts up with me. I know I wouldn’t if I had the choice#I keep going on and on about how I want to get better. I don’t want to be so miserable all the time#but I just don’t know how#I try to be kinder with myself and I’ve been pretty successful at it but.. it doesn’t help#I can be soft and gentle all I want. it won’t make everything else go away#so there’s nothing left for me to do but cry all alone in my apartment at 2 a.m#I guess
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eeunwoo · 8 months
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#actually also#I was thinking abt this bc I can’t sleep and like.#u guys prolly remember my bestie m///ika and I’ve never talked abt it properly but like#we were best friends for abt 6y before she ghosted me bc of a new boyfriend (army guy which is already 🤢 but yeah)#and like before she ghosted officially she basically met another group of girls and a guy online and they all have regular meet-ups and#hang out. which is fine. but it’s such a slap in the face bc they’re like. all rich lol#like they say they’re not but if u can afford regular trips across the country. hotels and restaurants and parties. u are rich#and I already know she’s rich but yeah I thot our friendship kinda looked over class status lmao#but to see her make friends strictly w rich people and suddenly forget all her morals re other stuff has been. hard on me to deal w frankly#I unfollowed her on all socials bc it makes me sick to my stomach knowing that she ghosted me even tho I asked her a few times to just tell#me if she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. bc I saw it coming bc when she made other friends and got the new bf she started pulling#away. and I know ppl grow apart but we never really did. she just decided I wasn’t good enough. completely out of the blue decided to stop#answering my messages. idk#my trust issues skyrocketed since then#we were so close I was supposed to teach in the usa and we were gna move in together like it was that deep#and yeah idk. I think abt it every so often bc. it’s upsetting#like#I thought she cared abt me lmao but#I guess I’m basically only good to make ppl feel good abt themselves and then if anyone else comes along I immediately get ditched#it’s an awful existence to have#mrow.org
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poltergeist-coffee · 7 months
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it’s 2 am and all i can think about is insaneduo
#💬 one new message#i just love them so much#they mean everythign to me#you can’t see it but there are tears in my eyes#like look at them they’re so - gestures vaguely -#i’m fr always thinking about that one post which said forever and cellbit are two sides of the same coin#thinking about how despite everythign they trust each other the most out of everyine on the island#like even after everythign ghry went through in the divorce/betryal arc and now with the happy pills shit#like they both refuse to give up on each other and it makes me emotional#i’m quite insane so they way i think about them sort of is like how i think of desertduo in third life does anyone else see my vision#like “i trust you entirely i wouldn’t care if yiu killed me because it’s you and i love you”#“even if you betray me i couldn’t bring myself to hate you because i love you and i care about you and i know you inside and out”#like i have a very specific vision of them does anyone get it or am i just crazy and need to go to bed#- lays down face first on the floor - qinsaneduo is so good i hate them i hope they leave and never come back#you can tear them out of my cold dead hands i refuse to give them up#brain spinning around in circles thinking about qcellbit tearing up after pac and forever were given the antidote and just not getting a se#of rest. he only rested when he knew they were both safe. he brought oac home and then went to the ordo and stayed by forever side the enti#night. he didn’t even sleep he just watched his chest ride and fall reassuring himself that forever woudl be okay and they he was alive and#he would be back soon he just had to wait a little longer. maybe that’s when he finally cried just let himself feel and finally let it out#orrrgh#okay i’m done i m done rambling in tags i’m going to bed
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