#it feels like the past 3 years i created this persona... based on wanting to help ppl and that's not to say that i don't but i managed to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

belit0 · 8 months

Text

Killer - TobiIzu (part 2)

Okay, so a comment from EyesofNeptune8004 on my ao3 collection made me re-read chapter 28, and I decided it was way too good as to finish it there.

My past self, the one who created this shi, was rly rly gone when she did it, so im not sure about having the yandere-psyco-crazy touch anymore, but i wanted to try cause this one is truly interesting.

ao3 collection - chap 28

Madara knocks on the door of Izuna's apartment for the tenth time, standing in the complex's corridor and carrying a bag of groceries in his hand. He brings with him a little bit of everything, food, cleaning products, bathroom essentials. He has seen his little brother a couple of times since he was found in that cheap motel, and is worried about the state of mind he might be in.

The scene was heartbreakingly clear, and he blames himself for not paying attention. Izuna has been in the field for a while, working in the trenches and with hard cases, but throwing him in headfirst to deal with the worst serial killer they'd had in years wasn't the wisest thing to do on his part.

He thought he was ready to take on a case as important as that one, and had no hope of getting any breakthroughs on it. The only thing police knew about the murderer was his name, and only because he allowed them to find it out, serving it to them on a silver platter.

Tobirama had appeared overnight and did not take long to make them understand he would keep on acting until they found him, but the crime scenes he left behind him were so clean, immaculate, no evidence could be extracted beyond what could be seen with the naked eye.

Victims of any age, children and adults, men and women, all marked by 3 red cuts on the face, and a note on the chest with a word written on it, "Tobirama". They suspected it might not even be his real name, having searched the database a million times without coming up with a match. Or maybe the man was so meticulous to the point of having wiped himself off the face of the earth, eliminating his persona to operate at ease.

The officers nicknamed him "the white demon," based on the few testimonies they had collected of his multiple acts, all reporting a white-haired man near the scene prior to the attack.

Whatever they were dealing with, Madara had no hope of solving it soon or even finding anything to help them move forward. Bodies continued to turn up everywhere in the city, and police hope was dwindling.

His younger brother had been complaining to him for months because Madara only assigned him simple situations, small kidnappings way too easy to solve, overly obvious murders, stupid robberies, so he thought giving Izuna an unsolvable case would be just what he needed.

He wanted a challenge? He would give him a challenge.

Madara saw far too many cases less serious than this one being shelved for lack of evidence and figured he'd assign it to him just to make his brother feel important.

Big mistake.

He knocks on the apartment door again, and raises his voice to break through the piece of wood separating them "Izuna... I don't want to have to use the key, please." Sure, his brother left him a copy when he moved out of the house, an emergency key in case he lost his, but Madara tries to assess the situation differently.

If the younger Uchiha manages to get out of bed and open the door for him, not everything is lost. He has visited him since that night, but he can never get this one to get up.

"I'm coming in..." he whispers more to himself than anything else, taking the key out of his pocket and opening the door. All the windows are closed, curtains covering the glass, and it looks like there hasn't been sunlight in the place for weeks.

Several empty food containers are visible from the entrance, scattered all over the floor and reaching into the room. Izuna is probably still in bed, not having gotten up except to go to the bathroom or eat.

Madara makes his way through all the trash surrounding the floor, kicking things to get to the kitchen in order to leave the groceries he bought for his brother in the fridge. When he opens it, puffing in distress, he is greeted by a terrible stench, something probably rotten that has been there for a good few days.

There are tears in his eyes, and he doesn't know if it's because of the strong smell or because of the image that rotten meat brings to his mind. Izuna told him, a few days before everything happened, he would prepare a special dinner for him as a celebration for having solved one of the most controversial cases of recent times, that of the red-eyed assassin. Madara, in charge of the investigation department of the police, had been working with all his concentration on catching the ruffian who was terrorizing the local park, and perhaps that was what made him stop paying attention to what his younger brother was doing with the white demon's case.

He didn't even know about the special clue Izuna received.

He holds his nose and tries to close the refrigerator tightly, the door jamming with the trash on the floor and unable to close all the way. He ends up slamming the appliance, venting the anger he feels about the whole situation and wipes his wet eyes with the back of his hand.

This is his fault. He could have prevented it if he hadn't underestimated the situation, if he had paid attention to his brother's wanderings.

It's his job, to coordinate all the detectives in the department and make sure they do a good job, but he lost sight of the one he most cared about, and threw him into the lion's den without knowing it.

The white demon had broken his modus operandi with Izuna, tracked and investigated him, marked him, and took him where he wanted and how he wanted. He had complete control of the situation from start to finish, and made the Uchiha act as he wanted, handling him like a puppet. He guided him to a secluded place, using clever words and manipulating him not to alert anyone.

Lacking experience, Izuna fell for his scheme. He’s lucky to be alive.

Why is he alive?

He had been found passed out in a motel room, his pants off and his shirt unbuttoned, his face red and wet from what appeared to be tears. The position in which his body was discovered denoted sexual abuse at first glance, with marks all over his rear area and even some blood between his legs.

The policemen who first arrived at the scene did not dare to go in until Madara was there, and it was he who came face to face with the image, covering the exposed body of his younger brother with his jacket, and carrying him in his arms to his own car.

The examination at the hospital was the most difficult part, and the younger Uchiha had to be sedated so as not to attack the nurses trying to conduct the abuse assessment. Izuna was unconscious for the next 24 hours, resting at Madara's house, but upon regaining awareness, he demanded to return home.

The way he cried to go back to his apartment, the violence with which he insisted his older brother listen, the urgency with which he communicated his need to get there, was unnatural. He would not allow anyone to touch him, nor would he allow them to take his cell phone to investigate possible breaches in the system, ways in which the killer could have gotten to him. Madara didn't have the heart to contradict him, feeling too guilty to deny him anything, letting him keep the phone and going home.

From then on, Izuna refused to leave his apartment, taking refuge within the four walls of his house and seeking comfort in solitude, not getting out of bed and having trouble eating. He began to forego mundane tasks, necessary for human functioning, and the older Uchiha had to assist him with the simplest of things. Bathing, combing his hair, eating. Between his long work shifts and the demands of an entire department, Madara tries to find time to visit him, to help him, but life doesn't wait. Doctors gave him a barrage of medications for his mental state, but he refused to take even one.

Izuna withdrew into himself.

Consumed by anger and resignation, he walks through the garbage to get to his brother's room. It pains him to see the mess his home has become, and he can't help but remember the pristine state in which he kept his place before this happened. Izuna was always a man of neatness and tidiness, always groomed and well dressed, perfumed, ready to conquer whomever he wanted. The state in which his apartment is at the moment only reflects the inside of his head.

Now everything seems to have changed, and if someone were to see the situation without knowing its background, they would probably think it was the home of a hoarder. Where once there were beautiful decorations and family photos, now there are only empty soda cans and unlit cigarettes. The floor adorned by a beautiful carpet now lies covered with dirty clothes and empty food containers, a few full trash bags here and there.

Heartbreaking.

On the bed, an amorphous figure is visible under several quilts and blankets, and a head of matted hair peeks above the mess. Madara approaches slowly, not wanting to startle him, not knowing if he is asleep or awake, "Zuna...? Are you-" he jumps back in surprise, raising his fists reflexively as his younger brother lunges at him with a knife.

He brings him down before he can hurt him, trapping him under his arms on the bed and disarming him with experienced movements. Izuna was always the more agile of the two, but the one who least evaluates his moves before executing them.

"IZUNA! IT'S ME!" Exorbitant eyes stare at him intently, and he knows his younger brother must be trapped in a terrible loop of flashbacks and bad memories, horrible enough to sleep with a knife under his pillow. He concentrates his gaze on Izuna and can appreciate how different moods and reactions travel across his countenance, ending in heavy tears.

The younger Uchiha was never one to cry, but it seems to be the only thing he can do lately.

He disarms beneath him, freeing his hands and turning on the mattress, covering his face and refusing to confront him, "I'm sorry" is all he dares to say, repeating it over and over again like a mantra.

"It's okay, it's okay, you're safe..." He helps him up and hugs him tightly, hoping his arms can give him comfort, some sense of relief, his perfume helping him out of this horrible mental place he finds himself in.

Between words of encouragement and caresses on his back, Madara manages to lead him to the shower, preparing the water to a nice warm temperature, going to look for a bottle of his favorite shampoo among the groceries he bought for him. Helping him undress as one would assist a small child, he can't help but tear up inside at the fragility of his younger brother.

Izuna is just a hint of his former self, pale and consumed by anguish, skinny to an unhealthy level.

Once underwater, Madara estimates he has about forty minutes of productivity, using the time to clean up the mess all over the apartment. He bags piles and piles of garbage, mostly cans and plastic, clearing the floor at least enough for him to walk without stepping on objects as he goes.

He wipes down those shelves full of cigarettes, washes the dishes, and picks up a thousand trays of food scattered on the ground. He even has time to swipe a damp cloth on the mirror the younger Uchiha likes to use to dress himself.

Izuna finishes with the bath just as his older brother attends to changing his sheets, entering the room already clothed and with a towel wrapped around his hair. "Are you done? Need help with that?" The police chief points to the abandoned comb on the dresser, and when the other nods wordlessly, takes it and attacks the tangle he's had in his hair for days.

Madara likes to imagine each knot he manages to untangle is one step closer to getting his little brother back, working the hair patiently and restoring it to the neat look he enjoyed wearing.

"Look at you, all nice and tidy..." There is no reaction under his hands, and he knows not even the smallest gestures will be able to pull him out of the hole he fell into. No matter how much he helps, his efforts seem to be in vain. "I was wondering about taking your phone for investigation now...? I brought you a new one, new number and all, just to be safe."

Madara still hoped his brother would eventually come to his senses, regain his innate police thinking and understand it was necessary to hand over the device for research. There's a chance it could be the biggest breakthrough in the whole case, but the elder Uchiha didn't want to impose his rank and seize it without permission.

Maybe he should have, because days go by and Izuna doesn't hand it over, yet this is his younger brother, not just any victim.

There is no way of knowing if the white demon infiltrated his life through technology, not knowing Tobirama's age and capabilities. The biggest possibility is that he tracked him by his cell phone, intruding into his private life without the detective even knowing.

"No." Is all he replies, not moving from the spot despite Madara being done with his hair. The police chief snorts with indignation, but refuses to give up the fight so easily. "I got the contact information from that therapist Itachi used when he needed it, remember? He's a great guy, they say he's really good at what he does... I made an appointment for you to see him." He grabs the phone he brought for his brother as a replacement for the one that might be tapped, and hands it to him.

Izuna, unmoving, doesn't even look up, nor does he hold the device when it is passed to him.

"His name is Hashirama and... where is it, Izuna?" He asks looking in all directions, searching with his eyes for the phone. and remembering not seeing it when he tidied the room. "Where did you hide it-" A buzzing sounds in the bed, and the pillow lights up slightly. Having changed the sheets, the Uchiha is surprised he didn't notice it, and as he opens the cover, he tries to understand why his brother is so stubborn about keeping that damn phone with him.

An unbecoming attitude of Izuna, it seems he is trying to hide the device, not to see it.

The Uchiha, like any young adult, finds that smartphone a must-have, always carrying it with him everywhere he goes and never letting the battery run out. The typical person who takes thirty pictures of food before eating, now keeps the phone buried in the bed, as if trying to ignore it or make it disappear.

It doesn't make sense.

The screen lights up again when he finds it between the pillow stuffing, with 10% battery remaining and a message from an unknown number just delivered to his inbox. He can't read the contents of it since the system doesn't recognize his facial structure, but something doesn't sit right with him about the situation.

"I don't need any therapist or any medication I-"

"I'm not asking you, I'm simply informing you. You will go, it's a fact, this can't go on like this. Why did you hide it there? What are you not telling me?" Madara gives no room for argument, taking the old phone and stashing it in his coat. He doesn't bother with an evidence bag, having broken the usual protocol since he found Izuna at the motel.

"If you check it, there's no going back Aniki." He replies slowly, in an almost imperceptible tone of voice, not daring to look at him. There is something in his words that unnerves him and puts him on alert, as if his younger brother is premonishing something.

"Maybe it will allow us to move on. I'm going to catch him, Zuna, promise. I brought you food, please eat something." He assumes it's about his trauma, reliving that terrible moment once the team manages to discover information on his phone and finally have material to track him down. Madara is convinced this little device has everything he needs to stop the assassin, and he will not rest until he has sentenced him to death.

Izuna does not answer, but seems to want to say something. He looks up and appears to deeply admire him, as if he wanted to engrave the image of his older brother in his memory. He is about to speak, but Madara's personal cell phone buzzes, the ringtone flooding the room.

He looks at the screen before answering, "Obito" reflecting back on the phone, and gives him a kiss on the crown of his head before leaving. "I have to get back to the station, but call me if you need anything, yes?" he strokes his wet hair, and whispers a small " I love you" to which he receives no reply. He makes sure to lock the door once outside and carries in his hands all the garbage bags he gathered in the apartment.

That's the last time he sees his brother before everything goes to hell.

14 notes · View notes

beautifully-lumpy · 11 months

Text

introducing my new AU...bricks and border!

back in april, jetpackbraggin's thumbnail image for caddicarus' resident evil 4 remake stream series sparked something in me - i started developing an idea for a cartoon series about the personas of online reviewers living in a large city. this idea eventually evolved into bricks and border!

bricks and border follows the escapades of the nintendo-obsessed scott (the woz) - an ambitious guy from the midwest who just so happens to be the younger cousin of the hot-headed mayor, and "laz" (caddicarus) - a brit with a mysterious past who is only known by his nickname. together they solve mysteries and get into other shenanigans in their city of oaksport. nothing is off limits!

this is basically a love letter to the entire comedic review genre on youtube. i'm super excited to start working on this!!

more info about the world and its wacky cast of characters will be revealed soon, but first we need to get into some format/release/disclaimer talk...(some of it's pretty important!)

this project will be written in prose format. i'm still deciding whether it will be in first person with the chapters alternating between scott's and laz's viewpoints, or just in third person. i know first person is looked down upon in fanfic, but that's just what my mind immediately goes to because they're youtubers who review things, and it's easy to imagine them narrating their points of view. i'm still deciding that though.

i will draw a lot for it as it's meant to be imagined as a cartoon series - and just like my previous major fandom project (onward the fanmade series), i will be drawing stills to accompany each chapter/episode! and i will gladly negotiate with any lumpy germ or wozzer who would like to contribute a guest still! and yes - you absolutely CAN create fanart/edits/etc. based on this AU! i would love to see them!

the big differences between this and OTFS are that B&B will not be contained in one book/AO3 work. OTFS episodes were written in script format, and episodes were released as one whole chapter. however, for B&B, "episodes" will be separate stories that could range from 3 chapters to 15.

as to when the first story will come out? i can say maybe soon, but i can't say the exact date and time. i'm gonna be a bit easier on myself with this one - as in, i won't be busting my ass to get a chapter out every single week. not only will i not be able to accomplish that with both my summer job consistently exhausting me and my senior year of college on the horizon, but i also don't want to burn myself out and not want to produce anymore content for the project. that's how the original caddicarus show died.

also, just a little disclaimer - this is not RPF. these are heavily fictionalized versions of the youtubers' already exaggerated personas - i mean for god's sake, B&B!scott is the younger cousin of B&B!AVGN, who is the mayor of the fictional city oaksport. lore from scott's and caddy's shows is referenced, and private people in their lives are absolutely not included in this (for example, cerys and the kids will not be mentioned). however, caddy's sister may be included, as she's a public figure.

with all that being said, i'm doing this as responsibly and cautiously as i possibly can - trust me, i previously wrote realistic non-AU caddicarus RPF and i almost got in trouble for it in 2017 when i was a stupid 15 year old who didn't know better. i know the harm RPF can do, which is why this is strictly being labeled as an AU. also i'm just gonna go ahead and say i won't be shipping characters in this. even though they're fictionalized AU versions of the youtubers, i feel uncomfortable shipping them. if you would like to create your own fan content of this AU where you ship the characters, i can't stop you. but i'm not gonna make it canon or anything.

that's pretty much all i have to say, i think. i hope that the caddicarus and scott the woz fans of tumblr will take interest in this!

#caddicarus #scott the woz #AU #alternate universe #bricks and border

8 notes · View notes

patxhwrk · 2 years

Note

hi ! I really enjoyed all the reversed au and your writing are so ?? good ?? If it's alright, I'd like to request Scaramouche reading through reader's lore? perhaps thru Surpassing Cup from the Pale Flame set and/or the lore from the Husk of Opulent Dreams set.

I'll be happy with either! You're more than free to not write this request if it's not to your liking /gen <3

I actually just read the Husk of Opulent Dreams for this and damn Fatui lore is interesting as hell cant wait for Dottore's

Thank you for enjoying my writing and for requesting!! Im not sure if you wanted to include a streamer au but i didnt add it, feel free to ask again anyways!

Since this is based on Scaramouche's lore, Y/n will keep his old name before the Fatui

Honestly all i did was rewrite the lore tbh

-ˋˏ✄— The One They Call "Destroyer of Nations"

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ Scaramouche x Reader [ Reversed + Streamer AU ! ]

Pronouns: they/them

"Left by their own creator, the puppet roamed."

CW: Archon Quest Spoilers, Scaramouche lore spoilers, Scaramouche name spoilers, Pale Flame & Husk of Opulent Dreams story spoilers !!

.navigation. // .genshin impact playlist.

"Alright, everything's good to go," Scaramouche mumbled as his chat roared to life.

"A lot of you have been asking me to read Pale Flame, specifically Surpassing Cup, and Husk of Opulent Dreams' lore on stream, and since I wont have much time to stream today, that's what I'll be doing."

His chat exploaded with excitement as his game loaded. Opening his game, he sighed in disappointment as Y/n was still not in the game.

"Well, let's start with, uh, Pale Flame."

Opening inventory, he scrolled through the artifacts until he reached the Surpassing cup.

"Alright, here we go then."

─𖠄࿐

They were a simply a husk, hollow and empty, created by the hands of an Archon. They were made to be divine, to bypass many and all, a vessel, a puppet.

But, they were cast aside.

So, they awoke and wandered the land.

Wandered for years, for centirues, for millenia and perhaps more. They wandered with no aim, with no goal.

But only one thought.

"I am 'human', made by the divine, high above mortals but not equal to a god. No mortal, god, or even fate itself can judge me, neither can it justify me. I am a free to do as I wish."

They chuckled, and smiled.

"These mask-wearing people are so fun to be around..."

"I think I'll become one of them."

─𖠄࿐

"Oh?" Scaramouche thought. "Is that how they joined the Fatui, then? Their own free will and amusement? No wonder they still hold the Electro Archon's gnosis."

He glancef at his chat for a moment, before back at his screen and moving on to the next artifact set.

"Let's start with the flower first, then move to the next," he said

─𖠄࿐

A phantom, swaying to sound under a moonkissed midnight, was what the dream was.

Akin to a person in the distant past, who was that of a blank sheet of paper.

And that of a pure and fragile persona, emerging once the resentment and suffering had dissipated.

They did not know they were capable of such a thing like dreaming.

They thought it had been the researcher's trick, or perhaps it was the infinitesmal resistance of that bygone heart.

"You aquired the heart that you've dreamed of once, no? Alas, it was merely a prop of a lie, under the guise of deception."

"You will finally obtain what is rightfully yours, and this false construct of a body can at last aspire to power over the world."

"Yet, this is all but a fleeting dream of glory, and it will all one day come apart with the sighs of a broken world."

Was it 'them' who had said it, a 'they' from so long ago? Or had it been 'them', who had long lived after the past?

They did not care, it did not matter.

Once they awake, it is not them, but the broken promise of a future that dissipated.

It had no longer been on their thoughts as they wandered.

But, as their eyes drift to close on their face, they recall the moonkissed nights on Tatarasuna and the flickering flames of the burning furnace.

The kind young deputy said:

"This ornament, golden and bright, is proof of identity grated by the Almighty Shogun. But as you continue your journey, please bare in mind, never reveal your identity to others."

The upright inspector said:

"This golden ornament may be proof of identity granted by the Almighty Shogun, but you are neither mortal nor mechanism, and I can only deal with you in this way. Do not hold this against me!"

The lone wanderer no longer thinks of it, but as their hands clasp over their ears, the howling winds of the year rings in their head.

A pair of expectant eyes said:

"This ornament, golden and precious, is proof of identity given by the Almighty Shogun. It surely may be able to save the people."

The intelligent, lovely shrine maiden said:

"This ornament, golden and holy, is proof of identity given by the Almighty Shogun. And she will not leave you alone. And I will do my best to send help immedietly."

But, in vain, the golden and bright and precious and holy arrow feather lay in a bed of dust, and the tales that were incinerated in karmic flames were all but ash.

They were created to be a vessel for a 'heart'. But tears shed in their dreams.

Their creator watched thus:

They were too fragile, whether they be human or vessel.

But their creator would not destroy them, and so they were granted the freedom to rest.

In her latter works, she would cosign designs that might store such a heart to obsolences.

Not long after, the noblest and most prestigious 'proof' would come to have no home, and thus was sent to Mt. Yougou.

The puppet soon awoke and began their wanderings.

They observed many a heart. Good ones to upright ones, strong ones and gentle ones.

And they soon, too, desired one of their own

And they soon, too, would come to obtain one.

It was their reason of creation, after all. To harbour a heart.

Yet, the found it not to be what they truly desired.

For it did not contain any blessings, but was instead a sacrifice brimming with selfishness. hypocrisy, cunning and curses. All wrapped in an amiable husk.

Good and evil, pure anc wicked were the song of sentient life, futile and cacophonous. But if they were to 'wrench' the heart out, they would find themself incapable of feeling anything at all.

Amenoma, Futsu, Isshin, Hyakume, Senju.

These were five branches of the Raiden Gokaden, once upon a time.

But today, only Amenoma remains its line of succession. While Isshin line can just barely be said to have extend descendants.

In the eyes of human kind, it had only been natural due to the ravages of time.

Never did one suspect that there would have been a hidden mysteriy behind the fall.

The wanderer would never admit that they had been the cause of such an act or revenge against the bladesmith.

Nor would they ever tell the truth that they had suddenly abandoned their schemes halfway because it had suddenly become dull.

They would only say, in the same tone they learned from the researcher:

"It was only a little experiment of human nature."

In Inazuma's traditional theatre, there had been a certain character with the name of "Kunikuzushi."

Such chatacters are often schemers and surpers of nations.

At the end of their wandering, they had choaen the name by their own free will.

But, as for the name they had once used, they had no longer remembered it.

It is normal in Inazuma's traditional theatres to join the names of a play's tree acts together, thus forming the name of the play.

Such as "Sumirezome", "Sangetsu", and "Kogetsukan", thus forming the name of the play as "Sumirezome Sangetsu Kogetsukan".

Perhaps there will be a day where this body's adventures, its learnings and experiences will be tales passed down by mortals, distant memories flowing along ley lines.

But, for now, and until now, their three acts remain on going.

"Where are you going, traveller?"

The roving youth was stopped by a child's shout.

It had been a child of a Tatarasuna crafts-person and though he had been ill, his eyes remain clear.

The youth told the child that he was bound to Inazuma City.

"But it's raining really hard right now. They say the people who have left haven't returned!"

The youth opened their mouth, and closed it again, and could only give the child a small smile.

And the next time they had set their foot on the island, the child was nowhere to be found.

"Where are you going, Inazuman? This boat is boat is not for you!"

The wandering youth had been stopped at the harbour by a boatman.

But before they could draw their blade, a man in their company stopped them.

The man told the sailor that the outlander youth was with him.

"Ah, so they are your guest, sir? My apologies for my presumption."

The man had given the youth a coat to keep themself warm, but the youth only declined his offer.

They had no need of such an item, they only wished to know what they might find interesting on their journey.

"Lord Harbinger, where are you going?"

The youth, hating chatty humans the most, gave a back handed slap to their subordinate.

But they had also enjoyed watching human expressions akin to horror and helplessness on their faces.

And it was perhaps precisely because of this imecilic underling's expressiveness that they had decided to keep him around.

They told the grovelling, qualing underling that they were headed east, to the land of freedom.

"I understand! I'll fetch your bodyguards right away!"

They had no need for guards, of course, but they were lazier still to barter words with cretins.

Donning their wanderer's hat, they headed off east alone.

"Child, to where are you heading?"

Returning home, an old woman had stopped them by the roadside.

They had said they were heading west.

"To Yashiori Island, then? What business are you on, child?"

It was a thoughtless question, knowing that many things had not been peaceful as of late.

The youth thanked her for her concern with a bright and earnest smile, and told her that they were bound for an apointed meeting.

As the boat gradually approached the shore, a lady clad in foreign garb could be seen along the shoreline.

She threw a small crystal to the youth from afar.

They had caught it with ease, and raised it to the dying, bloodied sun.

─𖠄࿐

"That was...truly something," mumbled Scaramouche.

"So their name was 'Kunikuzushi' before, then? And the name given to them by the Fatui is 'Y/n'? How interesting... Damn, I want to see them smile, too."

Glancing at chat, he read bits of other's reaction, with many sharing theories and what not.

"'Kunimuzushi', huh? That means 'destroyer of nations', no?"

He glanced back at the screen, where the most recent artifact had been left open.

"Well, what do we make of this, chat?"

—PATCHWRK !

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin x male reader #genshin

249 notes · View notes

antiquitiesandlabyrinths · 3 years

Text

Egyptian Astrology and Calendar

(credit)

Modern beliefs regarding ancient Egyptian astrology stem mainly from two reliefs - the Dendera zodiac, found on the ceiling of the pronaos of a chapel room dedicated to Osiris within the Dendera temple of Hathor, and a papyrus labelled the Cairo calendar that came from an antiquities collector in 1943.

In order to comprehend how the Cairo calendar and the Dendera zodiac, we need a basic understanding of how Egyptians counted their years.

- They had three seasons, each about 120 days, and each divided into four months of 30 days. Within those months were 10-day weeks called decans. To solve the unevenness of the earth’s tilt, they had five epagomenal days.

The seasons were thus:

• Akhet; Inundation, generally from June to September. It was the flooding season in which the Nile grew in size.

• Proyet; Emergence, which came after the flood.

• Shomu; the Harvest, within which you can assume what they did.

The beginning of Akhet was marked not by a specific date, but by the emergence of the star Sirius, which usually preceded the flooding of the Nile.

Now that that’s out of the way, an important fact to mention about ancient Egyptian horoscopes is that they weren’t especially specific, and the horoscope applied to everyone in that one day, not just a certain one. The options daily consisted “"Favorable", "Mostly Favorable", "Very Favorable", "Adverse," "Mostly Adverse," and "Very Adverse.”” For example, most of the days displayed on the Cairo calendar are marked as “Very Favorable” or “Very Adverse.”

Commonly these titles are affected heavily by what events of mythology happened on that day in the ‘past’. The day in which Horus fought his uncle Seth, and consequently losing one of his eyes, was regarded as a very adverse day. On other days in which there were parties and/or happy peace on heaven and earth, the days were called favorable.

The last part of an ancient Egyptian reading on astrology and horoscopes is essentially telling the person what they should do because of that good or bad luck. On the day Horus fought Set, Egyptians were advised to stay in their homes.

To sum up:

Egyptian astrology contained the classic 12 constellations. These were formed from 36 groups of stars called decans. Each decan had a God to go with it and covered 10 degrees—or ten days—in the calendar. So, the 36 decans each having 10 days made up the 360 day calendar, and once you add the epagomenal days (in which Osiris and his siblings were born), you get 365 days. Fun fact: the epagomenal days were essentially half a week of straight partying.

There are 12 astrological signs, as previously mentioned. They all have Gods or Goddesses that represent them and the people born under the 30-day (or 3 decan) timespan each of them are owed. They show the character, strengths, weaknesses, skills, and behaviors of their people.

Before I get into the signs, I’d like to mention that because we don’t have the full story on Egyptian astrology, and because Egypt’s history spanned such a long era and overwent many changes, there are two different ways of practicing ancient Egyptian astrology. One is to attempt to assign traditional dates based off decans, which is the one I am referring to, and one that filters in the influences from other cultures such as Babylonia and Greece.

Let’s get into the actual signs themselves, now.

Amon-Ra

Dates: Jan 8-21, Feb 1-11

Similar Signs: the Nile, Horus

Colors for men: yellow

Colors for women: orange

People born under Ra tend to be generous and stumble easily open great opportunities for success. They often reassure others and are good at inspiring people. Seldom will your life be mediocre.

Anubis

Dates: May 8-27, Jun 29 - Jul 13

Similar Signs: Bastet and Isis

Colors for women: purple

Colors for men: sienna

Like Anubis himself, people born underneath his sign are intelligent and easily gift compassion, while simultaneously carrying a darker presence of thought within them. This does not make them a bad person—it simply means they understand the inherent darkness in the world, an understanding that can sometimes make them seem fatalistic, or, at times, extremely ambivalent. These people may find it difficult to healthily maintain a happy love life.

Bastet

Dates: Jul 14-28, Sep 23-27, Oct 3-17

Similar Signs: Sekhmet, Horus

Colors for men: yellow

Colors for women: grey

Those born under Bastet assume much of the role that Bastet herself occupies in the Egyptian pantheon of Gods. They seek peace and harmony within themselves and in their relationships with others. Since they care deeply for many things, some have a tendency to overprotect and devote themselves to their loved ones, while forgetting to maintain their own health. They have a great intuition and easily pick out secret enemies within their social groups.

Geb

Dates: Feb 12-29, Aug 20-31

Similar Signs: Seth, Horus

Colors for women: red orange

Colors for men: violet

Geb as a God within the pantheon acted as a sort of mediator, coming in to overlook agreements and pledges to make sure they were of good intentions. With that information it’s not hard to see why he was representative of a guardian of life, a sweet, submissive, and peaceful image. People born in his stead are often writers, administrators, or counselors. They can be highly sensitive and very impressionable. Empathy can run at an all-time high with the way Geb raises those born under his name above the sins of vanity.

Horus

Dates: Apr 20 - May 7, Aug 12-19

Similar signs: Geb, Bastet

Colors for men: carmine red

Colors for women: gold

Those born beneath Horus’ wing have fierce, intense personalities, highlighted by an intelligence that easily attracts people to them. The width and variety of their knowledge can give them an ‘all-knowing’ image to an outsider. In order to reach the full potential of Horus, they must learn to control their rebellious tendencies early on before they get too far ahead of themselves. They may have a special respect or appreciation for mothers and wives.

Isis

Dates: Mar 11-31, Oct 18-29, Dec 19-31

Similar signs: Osiris, Thoth

Colors for women: blue

Colors for men: white

Isis is another Goddess considered a mother Goddess—a protector of innocents. People born under Isis earn her special protection and tend to have an air of hospitality about them. It woild be well advised for these people to seek out positions in life in which you will be able to protect or give life. Judge people fairly and be receptive, but keep your standards.

Mut

Dates: Jan 22-31, Sep 8-22

Similar signs: Ra, Thoth

Colors for men: brown

Colors for women: carmine

People born under the sign of Mut adopt many of the Goddesses’ traits, which can result in a melancholic, sometimes secretive persona. They have a shyness that can create frustration when it comes to their romantic and sexual life. Still, they contain within themselves a rich inner life, and can have lots of wisdom to give. They may find themselves, throughout life, searching for the goodwill of others and the protection of a father figure.

The Nile (mine!)

Dates: Jan 1-7, Jun 19-28, Sept 1-7, Nov 19-26

Similar signs: Ra, Seth

Colors for women: Deep blue

Colors for men: Vivid red

Those born under the Nile are peacemakers and lovers of the finer things in life. They believe they owe it to themselves to live in an awakened and aware state. The Nile watches over all—the resurrection of Osiris, the defeat of Seth, and the forming glory of Horus. People of the Nile are wise from this, tolerant of many different types of people, and have the capability of an extreme tenderness towards others. They want to be free from the bonds of ignorance but, like how the Nile brings both fertile earth and corrosive silt, they can be a victim to the everchanging tides of their emotions.

Osiris

Dates: Mar 1-10, Nov 27 - Dec 18

Similar signs: Isis, Thoth

Colors for men: yellow

Colors for women: green

These people may have two distinct sides of themselves. Despite that, they are kindly prone to generosity towards others. They have a passionate, fiery pull within them, but can simultaneously be quite vulnerable. When faced with a predicament, they may find difficulty in acting in both a quick and wise manner.

Sekhmet

Dates: Jul 29 - Aug 11, Oct 30 - Nov 7

Similar signs: Bastet, Geb

Colors for women: turquoise

Colors for men: green

Those born under Sekhmet are observant, somewhat controlling, and at times, very telepathic. Very rarely do they indulge in their deeper desires. Their sense of right and wrong can be muddled in their head. Despite that they have an intense inner, and often outer, beauty, occupying themselves with an unearthly gracefulness.

Seth

Dates: May 28 - Jun 18, Sep 28 - Oct 2

Similar signs: Geb, the Nile

Colors for men: blue turquoise

Colors for women: black

Seth is a curious God, and despite the inherent darkness surrounding him in most Egyptian mythology, he is not a truly ‘evil’ God. Those born under his sign are free spirits, like Seth, and are wanderers, also like Seth. They search for an innate wholeness and believe they can find that in the surroundings they find themselves in. Oftentimes they must endure hardships and go through many adventures before finding that part of themselves. Once they feel complete, though, they have an intense inner power. They easily learn from their mistakes and possess a strong sense of tenacity.

Thoth

Dates: April 1-19, Nov 8-17

Similar signs: Bastet, Isis

Colors for women: white

Colors for men: pink

Similar to Thoth, those born under his wing are enthusiastic and inventive. Mediocrity in themselves and others can have a tendency to frustrate them. Even with that though, they scorn any type of meanness towards others. They have a tendency to take brave risks that can either harm them or further themselves as people. They abhor losing their sense of the world, and misdoing others.

#ancient egypt #ancient history #egyptian astrology #astrology #egyptian mythology #egyptian gods #ancient egyptian astrology

339 notes · View notes

lucemferto · 3 years

Text

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PH1LZA (or Why Philza is a Victim of Narrative Circumstance)

Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).

There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I don’t proofread.

Intro

LAST TIME ON LUCEM FERTO

Okay, so! I don’t want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! [echo]

Well, I lied.

[Intro to “Luc is pretentious about the funny blockmen. Episode 2”]

I swear, I’m working on other stuff. It’s just that my dumb lizard brain has only capacity for one interest at a time!

So, something you might not know about me, is that I am on tumblr – who am I kidding, most of you will know me from tumblr. Before starting this whole YouTube thing, I thought that website died years ago – but as per usual reality proves me wrong. I’m also on Twitter and Reddit, but I get the most engagement on tumblr – by far! – and I need those sweet, sweet numbers for the serotonin!

Anyways, one of my favourite past-times on tumblr is to razz Philza Hardcore Minecraft – that’s his full name – for being a frankly awful father [clicking away] – wait, wait, no! Philza fans, this isn’t a hit piece on him, I promise! Please come back!

This is video is meant to be a companion piece to my previous video about Technoblade and the Doomsday event – you can tell by the shared nomenclature – so you should probably watch that one before you proceed. Unless you don’t want to, which is also perfectly understandable.

DISCLAIMER: This video is mostly about the character Philza plays on the Dream SMP. Whenever I talk about the content creator Philza, I will say so properly. Also, Spoiler Warning for Dream SMP Season 2.

… What is that? You’re wondering what the Dream SMP is? Well, if you had just watched the other video like I told you to do, you would know, because I explained it pretty well there. But in case you don’t know, here’s the cliff notes.

Dream SMP is the hottest New Media Series on Twitch right now! It has it all: gaslighting, child soldiers, Machiavellian political intrigue, Hamilton roleplay, desecration of the dead, shounen protagonists, SO! MUCH! AMNESIA! Filicide, furries, a red egg that’s definitely homophobic and teenagers inventing nuclear warfare. And it’s all done in Minecraft – yes, the funny block game where the only way to emote is to crouch.

And you say the perfect brief doesn’t exist!

Now, you might be wondering, why do I want to talk about this? Well, it’s because Content Creator Philza is one of least controversial internet personalities that I can think of. That man exudes pure comfort. So, it’s just very, very amusing to me that his character became one of the most controversial figures on the SMP, only outshone by Tommy and Technoblade.

And it’s not just amusing, it’s also extremely interesting! I want to dig deep to uncover and discuss the dynamics behind why that is. How did it come to this point? How did a man who appears genuinely so pleasant create a character that inspires so much discourse!

Now, if you watched that Technoblade video – like I told you to twice now! – you might know, that I am the resident character analyses hater of fandom! And that impression is false and slanderous! Don’t tell other people that I hate character analyses! I love them!

It’s just that, in the Dream SMP in particular, there is an abundance of character analyses! Every streamer has at least two very good essays written about them, exploring every possible angle to view their characters and backgrounds and everything. All I’m saying is: I don’t have anything to add on that front.

So, instead I want to pursue a different approach – something, that I feel is a bit underrepresented in the fandom! And I’m not just talking narrative analysis – that’s right, this episode we’re going even more pretentious! – I’m talking Transtextual Analysis!

Now, what is Transtextuality? Well, unfortunately it has very little to do with actual Trans people – #transrights, just in case that wasn’t obvious – but instead describes a mode of analysis with which to put – to quote French literary theorist Gérard Genette – “the text in a relationship, whether obvious or concealed, with other texts”.

Basically, you know how the L’Manburg War of Independence heavily quotes and borrows from the hit musical Hamilton? That’s transtextuality! A lot of the analyses surrounding how Tommy mirrors the Greek hero Theseus, who was invoked by Technoblade multiple times in the series, are already doing transtextual analysis! So, it’s really not something that’s new to the Dream SMP fandom.

But how does this apply to Philza and how he is looked at and judged by his parental skills? Well, there are multiple forms of transtextuality, two of which we will discuss today.

But before we continue, I gotta do that annoying YouTuber thing. I know these videos don’t look like much, but I spend a really long time making them. I work fulltime and I try my best to keep up, but sometimes I can’t. So please, like, subscribe, comment to give me some algorithm juice – I really need it – and most importantly share it! Share it with your friends, share it with your family – I’m sure Grandma is very interested in what I have to say about Philza Minecraft.

And I’m trying to be better! If I sound at all different for this video, it’s because I finally bought a new pop filter, so I can hit my plosives without it sounding like there’s a thunderstorm in my room. I hope it makes a difference; it was a very cheap pop filter, so maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it sounds worse – that would be bad!

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, CHILD NEGLEGT!

Intertextuality: Why is Dadza?

You know what’s really interesting about the Dream SMP – aside from, you know, most things about it? Very few of the characters have concrete, fleshed-out backstories – and that’s pretty weird! In no other medium or genre could you get away with something like that – at least for long-form storytelling!

So, how does Dream SMP get away with this? Well, it’s because every character on the Dream SMP is basically a self-insert – and I don’t mean that in the “This character is based on me”-kinda way, but in the “This character, for all intents and purposes, is me!”-way. This, like many things that are fascinating about the Dream SMP, is owed to the fact that this series didn’t start off as a continuous drama – it started off as a Let’s Play.

And while we can talk about how someone’s on-camera/on-mic persona is in some ways a character, it’s still miles off of being an actual, fully-realized, separate character in a storyline.

This is where Intertextuality comes in.

Intertextuality is a subset of Transtextuality. It describes how the hypertext, which is the text, you’re currently engaged with, uses another text, the hypotext, to supplement itself. The interconnection the hypertext establishes with the hypotext, through stuff like allusion for example, uh-hum [Hamilton], can colour how an audience interprets the hypertext. Basically, Hamilton and Theseus are the hypotexts; the Dream SMP is the hypertext.

So, what does this have to do with backstory? Simple: The backstories of the characters in the Dream SMP consist basically of nothing but intertextual references. Through intertextuality their content effectively substitutes their character’s backstory.

You can see it everywhere. Wilbur’s and Schlatt’s relationship and rivalry is hugely enriched, if you are aware of their shared history like SMPLive, for example – I think anyway. I haven’t watched SMPLive, because … there’s only so many hours in the day and I cannot keep up with the Dream SMP and catch up on SMPLive and live a healthy life – which I already don’t do, so…

BadBoyHalo’s and Skeppy’s relationship, which has become the crux of the Crimson-Storyline of Seasons 2 and 3, is hugely supplemented if you know that they’re also very close as streamers and in real life.

Another great example of intertextuality is basically Technoblade’s entire deal. If you just look at him completely within the text of the Dream SMP and try to transplant his entrance to any other medium: It would be extremely weird! Like, he’s just this guy that comes in in the middle of a very climatic arc, no build-up, no explanation what his deal is, and he’s treated like he has always been there. In any other medium that just wouldn’t work – at least not without a flashback or some sort of exposition!

But because of stuff like Minecraft Mondays, the Potato Wars, his Duel against Dream and SMPEarth, we understand that he is a Big Deal!

Anyways, to bring all of this back to Philza Minecraft: What kind of hypotext informs how the audience sees his character? Well, this is where I will have to talk about SBI.

SBI is an acronym that stand for State Bank of India, the 43rd largest bank in the world and…

It also stands for Sleepy Bois Incorporated. Sleepy Bois Incorporated is a loose assembly of content creators, consisting of Philza, Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit and Technoblade. It is most well-known for its very endearing family dynamic – a dynamic that is frequently acknowledged and played up by the creators involved. Tommy is the youngest brother, Wilbur and Techno are the two older brothers and Philza is of course the dad. And when I say, it’s played up, I really mean it! Wilbur seems to be especially enamoured with the idea and leaves no opportunity untaken to bring it up – which we will come back to.

And I’m not saying that they’re faking this and this is somehow an act. While I know none of these people personally, it appears to me, that this is genuinely how they interact – if a little exaggerated for the streaming experience. Even when they’re not consciously playing into the family dynamic, their interactions still very much lend themselves to that interpretation by the viewers.

Philza especially just radiates Dad-Friend energy – so much so that it has become a huge part of his brand identity – yay, I can bring that back (check out my Christmas video if you want to hear me ramble about that). The nickname Dadza stuck even before SBI was a thing.

So, even if we completely disregard SBI – which we shouldn’t for reasons I’ll get back to – Philza has cultivated an image of strong paternal guidance. He is, in my opinion completely deservedly, regarded very positively. He is highly respected and in turn seen as a voice of reason.

All of this would eventually inform the hypotext of the character Philza within Dream SMP.

Interlude: Before Dadza & November 16th

Okay, so now we have established that a) Dream SMP heavily hinges on intertextual readings by the audience to supplement character backstory and b) that Philza’s entire deal is that he’s the dad-friend – more specifically that he’s the dad of SBI (not the bank). I think you know where this is going.

So, yeah, ever since it was on the table that Philza could join the Dream SMP, it was immediately assumed that he would take on the paternal guardian role all these traumatized people on that server so desperately needed – and with good reason! Like I said before, the audience at this point was trained to take intertextual interpretations as basically canon or at the very least canon-adjacent.

I want to emphasize that this is most likely not done deliberately. I’m sure content creators Wilbur and Philza didn’t sit there and said: “Yes! We will rely entirely on the audience’s inclination to interpret our characters intertextually to define character Philza!”. Like, obviously that did not happen.

But it’s also important to remember that unlike with traditional media and the fanbases cultivated there, the separation between the Dream SMP and its audience is almost non-existent – and purposely so. The story events are streamed live, Chats are acknowledged in canon and even outside of livestreams creators are extremely involved with the fandom. So, the weight of fan-expectations is equally amplified and will more likely be incorporated into the writing process. Case in point:

[Wilbur “I miss Philza”/Philza about Wilbur]

During Wilbur’s villain arc, even before his official involvement, Philza became a prevalent point of discussion. The hope that he would be the one to snap Wilbur out of his downward spiral was not only wish-fulfilment on behalf of the fans; it also very much played off of the intertextual reading of the SBI-dynamic in relation to the Dream SMP.

Of course, this still doesn’t make Philza and Wilbur canonically blood-related – but it definitely used the “paternal”-dynamic of SBI to build-up tension and drama.

And that ultimately brings us to November 16th. The Grand Finale of Season 1 and Philza’s first canonical appearance on the SMP.

Now, for this I want to pull back from the transtextual analysis and talk about simply narrative analysis: What is Philza’s narrative purpose on November 16th?

Philza serves as the last threshold on Wilbur’s Villain’s Journey – to appropriate Vogler’s version of the monomyth for a minute here – he is what Vogler calls the “Threshold Guardian”. He is the last enemy the Hero faces before completing his quest – in this particular case Wilbur’s quest is to blow up L’Manberg. Multiple people have at this point tried to dissuade him from this course of action: Tommy, Quackity, Niki and others. So how come this Philza moment is not redundant in terms of dynamics compared to these prior scenes?

Well, it’s through our intertextual understanding of Wilbur’s and Phil’s relationship. Because Philza does not just occupy the role of the Threshold Guardian – he is also implicitly the Mentor. Before Phil there was no character in the storyline that held a higher position of moral authority than Wilbur – Dream and Schlatt, while at points more powerful in terms of actual authority, were never positioned by the narrative as Wilbur’s superiors in the same way as Wilbur was to Tommy, Tubbo or even Niki.

Before November 16th all challenges Wilbur faced were from people narratively subordinated to him. But that trend is broken with Phil. That is why he is the Threshold Guardian, why this confrontation is at the climax of Wilbur’s arc. Because Phil is the last thing tethering Wilbur to whatever morality he held before his villain arc; Phil is the last, moral obstacle Wilbur has to discard before gaining his reward.

And, just a quick sidenote, because I’ve seen it around the fandom a bunch: When I’m referring to Wilbur denouncing his morality, I’m using that in terms of narrative analysis. I’m mentioning it, because Wilbur’s character can very easily be read as mentally ill or neurodivergent and some people have – rightly! – pointed out that the excessive vilifying when talking about his character is … problematic, to say the least.

So, I just want to make clear, this isn’t a character analysis, I’m being purposely broad when talking about Wilbur and Phil.

In the end, Wilbur takes that final step and gets his “reward”: As his final request his mentor takes his life and vanquishes the evil – the dragon of Wilbur’s story slays the dragon of L’Manburg. It’s very Shakespearean in its tragedy – but beyond the larger theatrics it’s not really used to further characterize Phil – at least in the context of Season 1. There’s not a lot of focus on his characters internal conflict during November 16th.

Phil, like Techno, is very utilitarian in how content creator Wilbur writes him: He serves as a moment of hype; an obstacle Wilbur has to face; a participant in the tragic climax of Wilbur’s character and ultimately takes on his implicit and expected role of mentor and guiding figure to the rest of L’Manburg.

I think not a lot of people talk about how Philza does not join Technoblade during November 16th. He takes the side of L’Manburg – he fights against the withers and he joins Tommy, Tubbo and the others at the L’Mantree, thus framing him as loyal to the L’Manburg administration – even though Season 2 would make his loyalty to Techno central to his character. But more on that later.

What’s also important about November 16th is that this is the day when the general intertextual interpretation became canonized text.

[You’re my son!]

Wilbur is made Phil’s canonical, biological son. The intertextual interpretation of SBI as it pertains to these two characters on the SMP was completely reinforced by the narrative. Or to put it in Fandom terms: The headcanon became actual canon. At least when it came to Wilbur … but what about Philza’s “other” children?

Well, that leads to our second form of transtextual analysis:

Paratextuality: Is Dadza?

These titles are just getting better and better.

The Paratext is defined as all those things in a published work that accompany the text. It comes in two forms: One of them is the Peritext, which are non-diegetic elements directly surrounding the text – like chapter titles, author’s notes, and stuff like that. Translated to the medium of the Dream SMP, it would be stuff like this:

[Examples]

And, trust me, I could make a whole separate video about how people on the SMP use their peritext as a tool for storytelling – I’m looking at you, Ranboo – but that’s not what we will talk about in the context of Dadza.

Instead, we will focus on the second form of Paratext, the Epitext, which consists of all authorial and editorial discussions taking place outside of the text. That’s stuff like interviews, private letters or J. K. Rowling’s Twitter Account – you know, before she decided to become a full-time asshole.

[Wilbur: Transrights]

After Season 1 ended, Wilbur indulged pretty heavily in providing epitext for the Dream SMP, something he had not done prior to November 16th. His paratextual additions ranged from the playful, like assigning DnD alignments to various SMP members, to the extremely impactful, like the whole three lives system!

You probably think, you know where this is going. Wilbur provided some epitext about how Tommy and Techno either are or are not biologically related to him … and I have to be honest I thought that too. But then I began looking into the impenetrable web that is the SBI-canon on the Dream SMP and found this!

[Ghostbur explains family]

So, it wasn’t paratext, it was just straight text. Said in character, in canon, without any implication that we the viewers should question this. The text of the SBI family dynamic was explicitly linked to Dream SMP-exclusive lore, namely Fundy being Wilbur’s and Sally the Salmon’s son. This is as clear as Philza’s anguished declaration on November 16th in establishing the intertext as text. And because Wilbur also had a very heavy hand in the discussion of paratext around that time, it gave his character’s words even more “canonical” weight. Metatextually speaking, this very much read like the author giving exposition through his character – exposition that we should understand as reliable.

And, by the way, before I continue, I need to give a huge, huge shoutout to kateis-cakeis on tumblr, I hope I pronounced that right, who was just so quick in providing me with these crucial clips. Without him I would have looked for days because these people don’t archive their shit! And the Dream SMP Wiki was NO help, by the way! I love what you guys do, but stuff like this belongs in the Trivia section on characters’ pages!

Anyways, basically during the entirety of early Season 2 the SBI family dynamic was basically canon to the SMP. Sometimes it was only alluded implicitly, again letting the intertext fill out the rest.

[Philza clips]

But just as often it was just explicitly talked about – both in the text and in the paratext.

[Fundy clip/Wilbur “Twins” clip/Tommy clip]

So, I know what you’re thinking: “Why is this part called paratext, if the entire family tree is just textual”. Well, that last clip might give you a hint, as to what I will talk about. Notice how Tommy, one of the people most directly impacted by the canonization of SBI lore, is both unaware of and seems generally unenthused about it, to put it nicely? Well, that would soon turn out to be a much bigger deal than anyone could have imagined as he wasn’t the only one.

[Technoblade decanonizes SBI]

Yeah …

This happened on 20th of December. Regular viewers of this channel will remember that I put out a 90-second joke video, where I complain about this very development. And while I was mostly kidding around, the core idea is still true. The paratext provided by Technoblade and established text were in direct contradiction with one another – and that brought a lot of confusion into the fandom. Confusion, that would soon be followed by frustration.

Because Techno only decanonized himself as part of the SBI family dynamic – but what about Tommy and Tubbo, the latter of which was incorporated into the dynamic exclusively within the lore of the Dream SMP. Was this still canon or wasn’t it?

What followed was a muddled mess of contradictions, intertextual implications, text and paratext in conflict with each another. It was for the most part inscrutable to figure out how Tommy and Philza related to one another. I’ll spare you every comment made about this – mostly because I want to spare myself from looking for all of them.

In the end, the current status is that their familial relationship is … unclear. Philza said, again in paratext, that it’s ultimately up to the writers to decide, whether or not Tommy is his son … which, I personally think he and Tommy should be the ones to establish that, but I’ll come back to that later.

But why is all of this important anyway? Why would this ambiguity create such an uproar, such controversy – especially when it comes to Tommy’s character? What makes Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship such a target for discussion in the fandom?

Well … this is where we will have to talk about the storyline of Season 2.

Interlude II: Tommy’s Exile and Dadza in Season 2

Okay, Season 2. This is where the spoilers are, so I will just sneakily drop this again. It took me five seconds to google this gif and I will milk it for every penny it’s worth!

At the beginning of Season 2, Philza’s narrative role has not changed much from where Season 1 ended. He is in L’Manburg dispensing earthly wisdom, being a paternal figure to Fundy, Ghostbur and Tubbo, helping with the nation’s rebuilding efforts; just generally occupying the role of the mentor.

[clips]

And then came … the Exile. The Exile Arc took place between December 3rd and December 15th during Season 2 of the Dream SMP. It revolves around TommyInnit getting exiled from L’Manburg and slowly getting psychologically tortured and broken down by Dream. It’s a really great arc, at least in my opinion, that explores and deepens a lot of Tommy’s character relationships, whether that be Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Tubbo or Tommy and Ranboo. One relationship, however, is noticeably missing.

So, yeah, Philza spends basically the entirety of the exile doing pretty much nothing of consequence. And that’s not a problem specific to him – One big criticism I would levy against the Exile Arc is that a lot of characters are left spinning their wheels. Which is why we get zany stuff like El Rapids, Drywaters, Eret’s Knights of the Roundtable, Boomerville – anyone remember Boomerville, that was a thing for 5 seconds, wasn’t it? – basically a lot of storylines are started and then unceremoniously dropped. Now, I will talk more about this, when I make a video about Season 2 of the Dream SMP … in ten years, look forward to it.

In the case of Philza, this inaction was especially damning, because at this point it was still a considered canon that he was Tommy’s dad. So, the fans were left with a situation, where just a few weeks prior Philza was occupying a paternal role for Fundy and Ghostbur … but now, that his youngest son was in a very concerning predicament – to put it lightly – he was nowhere to be found.

So why is that?

Well, the most obvious answer is that Dream and Tommy didn’t write him into the storyline. We’ve seen that Tommy wasn’t particularly interested in exploring a familial relationship to Philza, at least at the time. And it would just not fit in with what Dream and Tommy tried to do with the Exile Arc: they wanted to tell the story of Tommy being isolated, completely under Dream’s mercy, slowly worn down and manipulated. If Philza had been constant presence for Tommy during that time, it would have definitely shifted the narrative focus. That doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have done that, it’s just a matter of fact that they didn’t.

This also reveals another truth about content creator Philza’s character work, that I think is extremely crucial: He takes what the writers give him. Outside of a few choice moments, he doesn’t seem particularly interested in expanding or even solidifying his character on the SMP.

What I’m saying is that he is very go-with-the-flow: Wilbur wants to enact a Shakespearean tragedy? Philza’s up for it. Fundy wants him as a parental figure and mentor? Philza’s here for him. Tommy, conversely, doesn’t want him as a paternal presence, even though it would make sense for Philza’s character, as it was established so far, to be there? Philza will oblige.

The reason I’m mentioning this is because, while Tommy and Dream were unwilling to utilise Philza in their storyline, someone else was more than happy to. Which leads us back, like it always does, to everyone’s favourite Porky Pig-kinnie in a crown: Technoblade.

Technoblade and Philza, from everything I’ve seen of them, seem to be very good friends – and they share a lot of history even outside SBI. So, it’s commendable that they would collaborate on a storyline together.

A consequence of that, however, is that Philza’s narrative purpose shifts completely with very little transition. His entire character changes from being the Mentor-figure of L’Manberg to being pretty much exclusively defined as Technoblade’s ally; his man on the inside. It is a very sharp turn from the end of Season 1. Their relationship is once again informed via intertext – this time the Antarctic Empire on SMPEarth serves as the hypotext – but there isn’t a huge effort made to smoothly integrate that aspect of Philza’s character into the larger narrative framing around him.

How much the narrative utilisation of Philza has shifted can be very easily observed through the Butcher Army event on December 16th, a story event that I like less and less the more I think about. Here Philza is used to show just how corrupt and violent Tubbo’s administration has becomes. He is no longer the respected mentor, he is now the stand-in for the oppressed populace, similar to Niki’s role in Season 1. On a narrative level, he is here to prove a point.

If you’ve seen my Technoblade video, you know how I feel about … just that entire storyline, so I will not reiterate too much on it. I just want to make clear that I’m not principally against this development – if they wanted to truly explore Tubbo going down a dark path and getting corrupted by power, so much so that he would even treat the person who effectively raised him like a prisoner, I would be extremely here for it, I cannot stress that enough.

The problem I have is that it’s just so sloppily done. It is not coherent with how these characters behaved and, more importantly, how they were narratively framed prior to the Butcher Army event. Fundy gets one token line about Phil being his Grandfather – a far cry from the very emotionally complex relationship they had established at the beginning of Season 2 – and Phil then callously disowns him.

The major problem simply is that we don’t see how Philza changes from Mentor-figure to embittered, oppressed citizen. And there was enough time to build to that. During the entirety of Tommy’s exile Tubbo was pretty much spinning his wheels and Quackity and Fundy were opening up plot cul-de-sacs that didn’t end up going anywhere. This is time they could have spent on developing their relationship to Philza and the dark path they were going down – but again, Season 2 video.

There is not much to say on Philza’s narrative purpose and framing beyond the Butcher Army event. He remains pretty much exclusively Techno’s consigliere with his role as Mentor to L’Manburg a distant memory. He has some cute character moments with Ranboo, because content creator Philza is just big dad-energy whether he wants to or not, and whenever he and Ghostbur share a scene suddenly the narrative remembers that there are people other than Technoblade that should exist in Philza’s inner world. But aside from that, Philza’s storyline in Season 2 remains … pretty definitive is the nicest way I can put it.

Most importantly his relationship with Tommy continues to be completely unexplored – whether by chance or choice – and that combined with ever vaguer paratext leaves “Dadza” in a very peculiar situation.

Conclusion: Is Dadza a Good Dadza?

So, the question to end all questions. The big, obnoxious text, that I will probably have put in the thumbnail – I haven’t made it yet, but I know myself. The honest answer is: I couldn’t tell you.

I have, in the past, been expounding the virtues of narrative analysis. That is because I feel that Narrative Analysis and Textual Analysis, like in this video, can provide certain tools that Character Analysis lacks. Often times I see people trying to get at a writing problem or query and getting frustrated because they’re not using the toolset, they need to figure out what they want to figure out.

But I’d be a hypocrite if I pretended like everything could be solved through the modes of analysis I prefer. And I think the Dadza-issue is exactly such a case.

I set out to explore why the Philza-Tommy-“Dadza”-relationship has become so controversial. It’s a combination of expectations build up through intertextual readings, that were partly canonized – something that is very common for the Dream SMP – conflicting pieces of paratext, which only serve to muddle the issue further and a text that is not only completely uninterested in actually exploring Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship – as it stands right now they might as well be strangers, narratively speaking – but also completely changes Philza’s narrative purpose as it relates to characters like Fundy or Tubbo about half-way through with little to no transition.

That is why I say, that Philza’s character is a victim of narrative circumstance. Because unwittingly, through all of these factors and decisions, there is not coherent reading of Philza that frames his parental skills in a particularly kind light.

The question of how we can judge Phil as a paternal figure ultimately falls within the purview of the character analysis – and that’s a very multifaceted issue, highly dependent on which POV you focus on and how you interpret the other characters in that POV’s periphery.

To put my cards on the table, I think that Philza is a very flawed father/father-figure – and I find that absolutely okay. Flaws are the spice of character building. He is not Cinderella’s Evil Stepmother – but he’s also definitely not Mufasa. If we were to read Philza as a paternal figure, then he would have made a lot of mistakes and decisions to the detriment of his “children” – least of all everything that happened on Doomsday.

But I also have sympathies for Philza fans who are tired of the Dad-Debate and would like to have his character judged independent from his relationship to Ghostbur, Fundy, Tubbo and Tommy.

Ultimately, to bring it all to a point, I’d like to end with saying, that I think that Philza, out of all the characters on the SMP, has the potential to be on of the most intriguing, multifaceted ones. There are all of these different patches of story, character moments and narrative and transtextual implications, that, if brought together, could create a beautiful tapestry of the character Philza.

You have his relationship with Techno, which holds the potential for so much emotional conflict and vulnerabilities, you have his time as mentor of L’Manburg, which is just criminally underused; the complex relationship between him and Ghostbur/Wilbur; and – for me, personally – most intriguingly this weird, almost uncomfortably distant non-relationship with Tommy. That last one is intriguing to me, because it contrasts just so much with our intertextual understanding of the characters and streaming personas – and it just holds the potential for so much conflict, so much drama, so much angst. Which I live for!

And, yes, I do believe that most of this is narrative happenstance, that this was largely not intended by Philza or really any of the writers. It’s just what happens when hybrid-roleplay-improv a long-running, livestreamed storyline in Minecraft.

But I want them to realize the potential they have on their hands, because it could – with barely any adjustments – turn Philza from a victim of narrative circumstance to a champion of it!

Outro

Thank you so much for watching this video. Usually, I don’t record outros this standard, but after this beast of a video I felt it necessary. I hope that whether you’re a Philza fan or a Philza critical or just completely uninvolved in the whole thing, there is at least a little entertainment you could get from this.

I want to take this opportunity to say that my next few videos will probably not be Dream SMP related – a sentence which undoubtedly lost me a bunch of subs – simply because I don’t want to burn out on it. I genuinely enjoy watching the SMP and being exhausted by it would be something I wouldn’t want to force on myself.

But who knows what will happen? The Karl Jacobs video was something I did spur of the moment because the idea just came to me – so I can’t guarantee that the next video won’t be a three-minute joke about Purpled or whatever.

Anyway, my concrete plans for future Dream SMP videos are essays on Season 1 and Season 2 as well as one for Tales from the SMP.

Before that I have a longer video in the works, which I’ve already teased a bunch, so I hope it will finally be finished sometime. And I also may be working on something … eboys-related? Maybe. I’m not making any promises!

117 notes · View notes

mxgilray · 3 years

Text

Loki Season 1 Thoughts

Overall, I really liked this series. It has some issues without question, but I sincerely don't think it's the dumpster fire so many viewers on this site treat it as. Did it go how I expected? Not at all? Did I enjoy the heck out of it and look forward to it every Wednesday? Hell yeah!

Loki's Good Guy Personality

A big complaint many have had with it is how much Loki's demeanor has changed and how his emotional growth feels rushed or his personality is ooc. Truth is, he saw his entire future, saw what his angry, power hungry, I-work-alone persona would get him in the end, and it snapped him back to reality. He has always been shown to be quite emotional and craving attention and lacking in self assurance, it's just in the past movies he's masked it with violence and fake narcissism, and he's always been a secondary character so his perspective is rarely shown. But if you really pay attention it's obvious he isn't truly villainous; we all know that, it's largely why he has such a huge fan base.

Right after meeting Mobius, Loki got an infodump of his future, saw his parents both die, found out that free will means jack shit, and learned he's absolutely powerless in this realm. On top of that, this is 2012 Loki, fresh off of being under Thanos' control, suddenly being shown that the guy who controlled him is going to end up killing him. Frankly,, I think it all broke Loki. He was too shook up by it all and by the sheer helplessness he found himself in at the TVA that he let all his barriers down momentarily. Just long enough for him to open up to Mobius about his motivation and his lack of self confidence. And you know what I bet? Loki felt relieved after talking to Mobius. A weight was lifted, because he bore his heart to someone and wasn't rejected or laughed at or treated like a psycho. And after letting his walls down fully, Loki didn't feel the need to put all of them back up. He stayed guarded around other people, but he didn't need to pretend around Mobius. Mobius has seen under the mask, so Loki doesn't feel pressure to perform as an all knowing, all powerful God around Mobius. That freedom is life changing.

People who gravitate towards broken, pseudo-villain characters do so because we relate to their internal conflict, their mental illness, their need to fake it around everyone close to them. Their turmoil and depression and self destructive behavior are familiar and we see ourselves reflected in their actions. Now, when a person really truly let's their guard down, drops all their layers of facade, and embraces themself, they tend to change demeanor and even personality pretty drastically. It's jarring in real life, so of course when it happens to a fictional character who you usually relate to it is going to be jarring, maybe even more so because it feels like a change you yourself would never go through. I know this sounds bad and people might get at me for it, but...

I believe the issue here is that a large part of Loki's fan base doesn't want him to get better. They don't want him to move past his mental illness, to learn how to cope with anger and disappointment in healthier ways, to be happy. They like his damaged persona, they like the internal conflict. Maybe it's because they're still at that low place themself and feel like a relatable character is getting taken away from them, maybe it's because they don't understand how much being at peace with yourself can alter a person and to them it feels like he's been changed too much. To those of us mostly on the up and up from battling depression and mental illness, it's comforting to see Loki getting a chance to be genuinely happy and accepting of himself.

Sylki and Lokius

First things first, I'm not anti anything. Ship what you want, idc. Personally, I do not see the Sylki dynamic as romantic, but I get why people read it that way. I thought the series did a good job of showing unrequited love, namely Loki falling for Sylvie and Sylvie feeling zero romance towards him. This was aware of his attraction and in the end used it as a distraction so she could get the upper hand. The show played up the potential romance because we are viewing things from Loki's perspective and he's become smitten as a kitten. I do think in the long run they'll have a more sibling-like dynamic, one Loki realizes that you can feel extreme love and care for a person without it being romantic. I enjoyed how the show explored their relationship, though I do wish they hadn't had every character under the sun mention their moment on Lamentis-1 like it was some big deal to bond with someone you're about to die with.

I'm bitter towards the development of Lokius. It had a strong start in the beginning, and in ep 5 had some potential reignited, but then they had Mobius not know who Loki is at the end. I'm still hoping they're playing the long game with this ship and that it'll come to fruition partway through season 2. The chemistry is there, and Mobius knows Loki very intimately and isn't put off by his past. Loki also feels much more at ease around Mobius than he does around Sylvie. It's the comfort of a deep loving bond with Mobius verses the nervousness of a new crush that he feels for Sylvie.

I don't think Loki is quite aware of his feelings for Mobius, simply because it's based in friendship and mutual respect and isn't a hot and heavy lust. Plus, as soon as he was away from Mobius he was thrown into a near death experience with Sylvie and developed a surface crush during their heart to heart. Since Loki's still figuring out what genuine feelings are beyond anger and sadness, he sees the simplistic crush he has on Sylvie as love and the intimate bond he's been forming with Mobius as friendship. He doesn't understand his own feelings yet, but I think he'll figure it out next season. I mean, he was probably already rethinking his feelings for her after she kissed and betrayed him, mentally kicking himself for expecting her to not pull a Loki betrayal like he would've in the past.

The Time Variance Authority

I really like the concept of the TVA, the structure of it, the methods they use, the deeply fucked way they recruit employees, the cult like motto, shady Miss Minutes who is definitely playing her own long game, and the blind acceptance TVA agents have of the Time Keepers' will. It's all very well done... until your dig into the core, aka He Who Remains. They built up the idea that the Time Keepers created the TVA to prevent a multiverse war and that they created agents to enforce their will. Then the creating agents turned out to be fake, the Time Keepers were fake, I expected the reason for the TVA's existence to be fake to. It felt too simple to have it genuinely exist just to keep the multiverse in check. Why the anonymity, unless it's to keep from having agents target and prune versions of himself which.. songs like a decent solution. HWR made it sound as though the multiverse war was just a bunch of versions of himself screwing shit up, so why isn't the TVA's focus on eradicating every other variant of this guy? Sounds a lot easier and nicer than fucking with the free will of every other living being. So either Marvel made a bad call when choosing what HWR's motive was for creating the TVA, or he was lying about it all to cover up something sinister.

Overall Storyline

I'm fairly happy with the plot as a whole. There were some pacing issues and I think a few missed chances for deeper conversations between various characters. While I enjoyed the Loki variants, I honestly would've been happier seeing Tom playing most the variants (except Kid Loki and Classic Loki since they are clearly different age ranges). If there is supposed to be one sacred timeline, it seems off to me that Lokis would be allowed to vary so extremely without it causing a nexus event(an alligator, whose nexus wasn't that he's an animal who obviously can't do any magic much less command Thanos' army, but that he ate someone's cat) and not just in appearance but in life path (ie boastful Loki collected all the infinity stones but it wasn't till he had 6 that he caused a nexus event even though him gaining control of the Soul, Power, and Time stones should've each caused nexus events since on the sacred timeline he never interacts with those 3 and taking any one of them would've fucked up a lot of other timeline parts)

I love the display of Lokis raw power, and 2012 Loki coming to the realization that he's way more powerful than he ever thought. And it wasn't just Classic Loki who spent thousands of years alone honing his skills, 2012 Loki reversed time on a goddamn falling building! I also liked the small magic, the fireworks, the tablecloth blanket, Loki yanking Sylvie away from HWR with just magic.

As someone who is both bisexual and genderfluid, I would've really loved more concrete representation. The comment about there never being another female Loki hit me in the gut; it undermined the Easter egg "Sex: Fluid" on Loki's TVA file. With how big a deal Sylvie being female was made out to be throughout the season, I expected her gender to play a key role in taking down the head of the TVA, like it was foretold that only a female Loki could end it all or some shit.

I don't mind the idea of Loki finding love in a straight passing relationship. I don't even mind the selfcest all that much. It just feels so obvious to me that Sylvie is written as not having any romantic inclination towards Loki, while Mobius is clearly written as falling in love with someone he shouldn't and trying to maintain an heir of professionalism to keep from wrecking his bond with Loki. I really really hope they come through on season 2 and give Lokius the canon relationship and proper representation they deserve.

Mmkay I thinks that's all the thoughts I've got right now. If you've been feeling cheated or clowned by how things went this season, maybe my perspective of things can help ease your pain.

#loki spoilers #loki series #loki #mobius m mobius #sylvie laufeydottir #lokius #sylki #tva loki #time variance authority #marvel #mcu

49 notes · View notes

callxthexmidwife · 2 years

Text

Something I really want to see in the New Year’s special is the dynamic between the Doctor, Yaz and Dan. Specifically, I want to see Dan deferring to Yaz, not the Doctor. After all, he has only really spent time with the Doc for a few days, if that, while he spent three years with Yaz, following her lead. She was clearly in charge -- out of the 3 of them, she was the one who had spent time travelling with the Doctor, she had experience with aliens, the Doc gave the hologram to her and she was the main driving force behind their little team. So when they get back on the TARDIS, Dan still follows her lead.

I want to see how the Doctor reacts to that. She’s used to being the one in control - it’s a “flat team structure” but she’s still up there above them all except now she has to share some of her control? Maybe it becomes more like a hierarchy, with the Doc at the top, then Yaz, then Dan? It would make her feel so conflicted; on the one hand, she’s so proud to see how much Yaz has grown in those years apart and she’s glad that Yaz never lost faith (in her, in herself, in the world). On the other hand, she sees how Yaz is becoming more like her, how she had to create her own Doctor persona in order to lead Dan & Jericho and detach herself from all the pain and anger she must have been feeling when she lost the Doctor again. She never wanted Yaz to be like her, but maybe she starts to see that it was inevitable, or at least now mostly irreversible. And the fact that she was the one to give Yaz the hologram (& with it a mission but also an unfair amount of responsibility) must make her feel so guilty. Maybe she gets reminded of that guilt whenever she sees Dan ask Yaz a question and not her. Or follow Yaz’s instructions rather than waiting to see what she has to say. Does the lack of control hurt in a more personal way? She’s so used to being in control, especially in regards to her companions, and she has been made to feel so helpless lately -- being recalled to Division, having her own memories dangled in front of her -- and now she’s losing it in another way, but it’s not really control she automatically deserves to have. If Dan sees Yaz as worthy of following, who is she to try to stop that?

And how does Yaz react? Both before finding out about what the Doc’s been hiding and after? Does she not notice the dynamic for a while because that’s just how she and Dan have worked for the last few years until she sees the Doctor giving her strange looks and manages to figure out why? Does it make her feel on a more equal footing with the Doctor when they finally have the conversation about what the Doc’s been hiding? Based on past performance, she expects it to go awfully and be shut out again but she’s used to that and now she has a friend who is more hers than the Doctor’s if she needs company and unknowing support. While in those three years she may have been driven by the thought that she would reunite with the Doctor eventually, she came out of them with more experience, authority and a close friend. Unlike the first time where she kinda stagnated, this time she grew. The Doctor might disappear again, or shut herself off, but that growth can’t be taken away from her. Does it feel natural to let the dyamic continue until Dan starts taking his lead from both of them, perhaps depending on the situation? Or does she immediately start to redirect him to the Doctor when they’re back on the TARDIS, seeing the TARDIS and space as the Doctor’s realm, or grateful to not have to be in charge of anyone but herself anymore?

I don’t know, just the whole idea of an entirely different power dynamic between the Doctor and her companions kinda fascinates me.

#doctor who #literal showerthoughts #Thirteenth Doctor #Yasmin Khan #dan lewis #if anyone wants to use any of this for fic reasons then be my guest

15 notes · View notes

sepialunaris · 3 years

Text

Theorizing Amelia and One's backstory based on implicit storytelling

Hmmm infinity train possibly not getting a continuation got me thinking more about Amelia and One-One's implicit story throughout the books. Since the train in Book 4 still works on One's "in a literal sense [the passengers] are numbers to him" and "if they dont sort their problems they'll die here" ideal and not post-Tulip "every passenger's wellbeing and progress is important," the state of the train prior to Ryan and Min is a big mystery, and what specifically happens after to Amelia and One One is another mystery.

I saw @suppuration 's post (which unfortunately can't link since, mobile) about how Book 1 of Infinity Train is about One One experiencing and learning to act as a denizen for Tulip, and while he was mindwiped it must have a big impact to how he does his role as the conductor now and before, when he was just one entity.

Long analysis ahead

One = Simon

Book 4 One reminds me of... Simon. Simon "but you are not a person" Laurent. One is colder and more aloof towards passengers, and seeing them as just "numbers," which is similar to Simon's views at nulls and lack of respect of agency. While he got amnesia and his experience with Tulip made One-One realize his inactiveness has also hindered the purpose of the train as well as a sense of guilt on things that were not his fault (Amelia's cars in the train), he does strive to change, but Amelia still remembers and internalizes what she knows One was in the past, hence she still refers to his old name and had to read his instruction card to remind herself of his new ideals.

Moreover, Book 4 shows Stewards being in charge in train maintenance in the past. Reddit AMA said that in the present the Stewards are almost all destroyed in the coup besides the one Amelia outfitted with weaponry and One One used as transport in Book 2. Book 3 saw One One using humans like Amelia for maintenance, which shows that he is more willing to give agency to the passengers rather than lock them up in place while the Stewards do their jobs. So unlike Simon, there is growth.

Amelia = Hazel, but not really

One conforming to rigid power structure and not really considering anyone's agency like Simon and Pre-Hazel Grace makes Amelia seem like Hazel in this metaphor, which is appropriate that she is her 'clone' or imaginary child. And like Amelia entered One's and life resulting in his mysterious split, Hazel entered Simon and Grace's lives to split them (even if One One dont go separate ways like them, and stayed together) after she experience a personal loss that they caused or 'denied to unreverse' (in Amelia's case). Hazel made them both the chance to question, rethink, and restart their ideals but Simon didn't take it, while Amelia at first tried to give constructive feedback to One before executing the coup and also fell into One's problem of not recognizing others' agencies by 1) throwing away One One and possibly removing his memory 2) forcibly taking away the support system for the passengers to navigate their problems like Ryan and Min-Gi thinking its giving them agency to "individuate" and be on their own, when in the case of Ryan and Min it just reiterated their trauma.

Also her contradictory way of thinking is why in the end Amelia's belief of the other passenger's agency ends up being fallible and destroyed as she becomes more violating and just altogether doesn't want passengers to leave their cars. And I'm highkey convinced that the reason the Ghoms exist (but not in Book 4) is that she created them to prevent people from moving around freely, as there is no therapeutic reason for them to exist (that said the hand monster exists, but it is only in 1 car while Ghoms are numerous and everywhere in the wasteland, so this monster may explain One's aloofness to their wellbeing even further). She does have Ghom orb and used it in Atticus, so its really reasonable to think so. Plus it would be a logical thing that would add up to her numbers a lot and make Samantha the Cat dread her, yet still not make her numbers reach the top like Simon after directly trying to murder his friend.

Amelia's Loss

Though we're not sure because of how little screentime we have of them in Book 4, I do think Ryan and Min-Gi's attempt of staying together is a big foil too for Amelia's experience of abandonment, loss, yearning for the past, and loneliness. Therefore the Steward's first appearance was to reonnect the boys to their past by giving back their stuff, despite Amelia saying that she did that to "individuate" them (this may be directed for all the passengers but in this book's context it is about Min and Ryan's commitment to each other), and the second appearance Amelia specifically says "[they] are on their own." By the lens of Ryan and Min, Amelia is portrayed as a force that desires to separate them, not in a malicious nor personal manner, but maybe a projection of her own trauma of codependency with Alrick and not wanting the same to befall to Ryan and Min (it may also be jealousy but she hasn't shown any displeasure of that sort so it seems more like bad faith analysis) and the pther passengers. And in the end she releases everyone in the train from their 'dependency' by decomissioning the Stewards. Her actions, especially the former does have understandable motives and she isn't intending to harm anyone, but it happens anyway because in the end she disrespects their agency and pulled the whole train from under the rug.

Amelia = Lake & others

And the story of agency is central in Book 2, and how Lake fights for their recognition as a person and getting off from the train, to the point they have to confront One-One about it. It was the first time One One's imperfection is shown and how even now his standards for denizens has gotten better but not the best. Though he does end up respecting their agency and puts thought to it too. And a minor detail is that he mentions Atticus too in Book 2, meaning that he remembers him personally due to his experience as a denizen instead of just an instrument like in Book 4 (eg: Denizens like Kez being frozen kept of the blue during Steward visits), and he appreciates Alan Dracula too. So he did grow, even if its not perfect and his cold tendency and lesser view on denizens is still there. Yet One and Amelia's ideals of hierarchal superiority and the concept that denizens are worth nothing bleeds down to the Apex, who follows Amelia's footsteps after she has decided to refuse her former ideal to "individuate" passengers (as she has already used her outfit when finding Grace and if we think Amelia made the Ghoms then yeah it tracks), as well as Grace and Simon's own coping mechanisms of dealing with traumatic abandonment and loneliness being parallels to Amelia, through manipulating others and intruding on people's agencies respectively.

However, what I find interesting is that, like Lake, Amelia also got to the engine room and got to ask for favors from him. While the context is not clear as well as her lack of companions, if we parallel it to Lake's story and also considering Amelia's fallible interest to humanize the passengers to One, something similar might've happened.

Her story parallels with Ryan too, that wants to subvert expectations within his life even recklessly so at times that ends up hurting people (just like how she took over the train and hurt One and the other passengers), yet he deals with life better even after abandonment by Min. She also parallels heavily with Morgan, who was dependent on Jeremy and tried to isolate herself from her friend, Kez. And the big thing that Amelia lacks in this scenario, unlike Lake and Ryan, is that as said before, the distinct lack of companions she has. No one like Jesse or Min-Gi to ground and provide her company besides her desire for Alrick to come back, and doesn't show interest in forging new relationships and instead focused on her own stuff, just like Morgan grieved when Jeremy was gone. Amelia was both isolated and isolated herself further when she couped the train, and in the end like Morgan she turns from a caring person to someone that revokes agency. Though Morgan, in the end does decide to grieve herself and opens a window for her to reconnect with Kez, unlike Amelia who lost that opportunity and fell further to the dark due to cruel circumstance and her own actions.

And as for the reason why One One was split is mysterious and currently unexplained, Idk if this is an appropriate idea to connect to, but I feel like there's a possibility that he could've split himself or gave himself amnesia, as a way for him to deal with self isolation and or trauma from betrayal. Maybe he was even inspired by seeing Ryan and Min's commitment to each other? But again it is farfetched to judge as something tracks as of now.

Soo... tl;dr what i think happened.

During this era One only interacts with the passengers by maintaining the trains through the Stewards, without consideration of their well being or agency, hence the hand monster/Docent exists

Amelia enters the train and fights her way into the engine room to meet One, possibly asking her stuff back too

One decides to receive input from Amelia, who intends to humanize the passengers to him by giving them back their stuff, while akso taking interest to cultivate independence on the other passengers to avoid codependency like her

Amelia falls back to her dependency and asks One to bring Alrick back, he refuses, and she hijacks the train

As a way to give them freedom, Amelia releases all the passengers the rules the train binds them to and destroys all the Stewards that acted as maintenance before

One is sent to the snow car for 33 years. He is either split or mindwiped by Amelia or he performs this action himself

Amelia's idealism wavers over time and she gets obsessed in find orbs to create Alrick. Becomes more militaristic and creates her Conductor persona, outfitted the last Steward with guns, and created the Ghoms with her cannon

In order to make sure no passengers try any funny stuff and let her focus on her quest, she uses the Ghoms to make sure they are within order, and prefers passengers to no longer leave their cars. She ultimately has no control over that though therefore she can only minimize the problem

Book 1 happens, Amelia is ousted and decides to work under One One as a human steward and to fix her mistakes to repent

Feel free to add on or critique things because I might've missed/misintrepreted a lot

52 notes · View notes

not-poignant · 3 years

Note

Hi Pia!! I love your work and have consistently been reading it for over a couple of years, currently every TIP update u post makes my days a bit brighter ��

It is also thanks to you that I started posting fics last year after more than three years not doing so. While some of my fics have been wildly popular in a fandom some others don't seem to have landed as well within the same one, so I wanted to ask, what do you do about those stories that excite you but that don't seem to have found an audience yet, or that they never will?? How do you work through the fear of them not being worth your writing time?

Have a lovely day 💚🍀

Hi anon,

This is a hugely complicated question.

For a start, for writing that is for income, if I think it won't do well, I don't write it (although only to a point, I wrote The Gentle Wolf because asexual representation mattered more to me than sales, but it still hit hard when that turned out to be true). I don't like to mess with things that pay the bills. I hate that I have to look at metrics in that sense, but I do. But thankfully we're not talking about original fiction:

For fanfiction, things are different, and there might be a lot of different things going on.

For a start, almost always, when people ask me this question they are still getting some interaction on their fics, just not as much as they wanted or imagined. It can really help to like, remember to be grateful for every person who interacts, and not just the 'quantity' of interactions.

I think like... I am a big fan of 'write for yourself' but it's also true that I write for interaction on AO3. Just... only you can decide how much of the former will compensate for not much of the latter. There are people out there who are like 'if I was only writing for myself I'd keep it in my computer.' I'm not like that, and I don't vibe that way. I write for myself but enjoy sharing it, in case something that worked well for me, works well for a stranger. Everyone is different and that's eventually going to be what the crux of this post is, lol.

Popularity is influenced by the fact that some fandoms are more dead than others and lack interaction across the board in general (Persona 5, for example, is notorious for this). Some fandoms like certain tropes more than others. Some fandoms are massively popular for three weeks and then die almost immediately. And so on and so on.

Ultimately fandom is fickle, it's loyal to the stories they like more than the authors they like, and you can't predict what will be a flash in the pan and what won't be, and it doesn't always have anything to do with the quality of the fic itself or the tags you used. (This is sort of like how sketches will sometimes get tens of thousands of notes and a 300 hour single piece of quality art will get 400 notes, while a professional artist tears their hair out in pieces).

Sometimes, a fic will be more interesting to me than the reality of fandom interaction and I'll write it. Touching and Melting for Houseki no Kuni is a good example of that. A tiny fic for honestly an extremely quiet and tiny western fandom in terms of fic, which looks like it had a lot of interaction 3 years on, but had almost nothing in the first few months. And sometimes the fic idea won't be more interesting to me than the reality of the fandom interaction, and I won't write it. I go story idea by story idea.

But I've also taught myself to really think about a) the way I talk about interaction and b) to really value every individual that leaves a kudos, or comments, or public bookmarks. When I sort of started out with Shadows and Light, I remember being so bummed when a story didn't do as well, and thinking that meant it was doing 'badly.' Let's be real, Game Theory when it started out had less than a tenth of the interaction of SALverse, and I thought I had failed. If I'd given up at that point, well... all of this wouldn't exist.

And then just looking at fanfiction, it's like.. well, sometimes fics do a lot worse than other fics, there's usually at least one person who will read it and leave a kudos. I remind myself that to that person, the story mattered or meant something, which meant I didn't just write it for myself anymore, there is interaction.

This is much harder on stories that have zero comments, and zero kudos, obviously, no one likes to feel as though they are shouting into the void. But it's also my experience that writers who've had popular fics, don't often have 'zero kudos fics' when they say a fic is doing really badly. They just..maybe need to value the individual interactions alongside how good a 'mass' of interaction can feel, or alongside how good 'quantity' can feel. I do really think that's a skill that a lot of like...enthusiastic fanfiction writers have mastered or at least are learning.

Sometimes it really helps to have somewhere in private to vent to when you feel emotionally overloaded or insecure, and honestly sometimes it can help to re-evaluate.

For some people, writing fic when a certain threshold of interaction isn't reached, just isn't worth it. I can't convince people like that to keep writing. If there's a deep seated 'this isn't worth it' then stop doing it.

If there's 'this is insecurity and I'm not good at valuing everyone and I feel down right now but it'll pass' then...work quietly and patiently and compassionately on strengthening your resilience and your trust in your own writing, and your ability to value individuals who interact and engage on your fics. If you don't do this, you may end up bitter and resentful, and that can influence your entire relationship with fandom, and worse, the people who interact with your fics.

Also, finally:

How do you work through the fear of them not being worth your writing time?

In fanfiction, I do not base whether something is worth my writing time on the quantity of people who will interact with it. It is worth my writing time because I'm really excited to write it, and I want to share it, even if people don't respond immediately, or even if only one person ever comments.

I don't...have this fear that you have based on the things you're basing it on - my fears are different to yours. It's fanfiction. It's worth my writing time because I'm eager to write or fix or alter something in canon or I want to make the two boys fuck because no one else was going to, and because I can generally trust that one person out there will probably read it, even if I go back over 10 years ago and my Livejournal fics were only getting like one comment per chapter. If that.

If your metric for 'worthiness' is 'quantity of interaction' then - I'm the wrong person to talk to, I'm literally motivated to write fanfiction by completely different factors to you. I didn't start SAL knowing it would get popular, I thought people would hate me because I killed Jamie in the first chapter, and up until that point none of my fics had been popular.

I can't convince you on the things that convince me, when our foundational motivations are different. If you want quantity and that's what 'worth' means to you, I don't know what to tell you, I would never have written SAL in the first place if I hadn't been the kind of person to just write fanfic for almost no / or no interactions, and still enjoy that single person who said 'I really enjoyed this thank you for writing.' I didn't spring into being as someone who was writing fics that got a lot of interaction, that came...years later, y'know?

So what is worthy to me sounds like it's also just different to what is worthy to you. Ultimately, there are people only writing fanfiction on the basis of how many people interact with them, and...I don't know how those people keep choosing to write honestly, and I think a lot eventually abandon it, because there's no algorithm to crack in order to be successful every time. Maybe...remind yourself that you've had popular fics in the past and therefore you will again? And that you can't get to that point without less popular fics on the step ladder in the meantime? Therefore, even a fic that doesn't feel 'worth your time' will be a stepping stone to the one that is?

Imho, I think my fics are worth my time because I enjoy reading them once they're finished. And then I think they're worth my time because other people enjoy them. Having a popular fic is fun and nice, but honestly, often a fluke, and doesn't always say anything about the quality of the writing (some of the most popular Yuri! on Ice stories with 10,000+ kudos were like...not always...the most well-written stories, but people were desperate for Content, and it was certainly that).

But yeah, how I think about fanfiction is very different to how I think about 'fiction that has to earn an income.' Ultimately I don't want to apply the latter philosophies to the former, other people do. If you're applying 'this needs to hit a certain threshold of interaction to be worthy' as your basis for writing fanfiction, then...we have very very different motivations for creating content in fandom! And I'm the wrong person to ask.

As I said, it's complicated, lol.

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on fanfiction #people have different values they bring to writing fanfiction #i've seen folks just say 'it's not worth it' if they're not getting like a certain amount of kudos or comments #and idk #i don't relate to that #which i know is hard to believe now but like #i *literally started out*#posting fics on livejournal and on livejournal communities #thinking it was a small miracle if like #*a single person commented*#and that's what sustained me for years #if that would've made you quit #we're here for different reasons anon

19 notes · View notes

jazinerambles · 3 years

Text

Persona 2 Innocent Sin Review

I wanted to have some time in between playing the game and writing my thoughts for Persona 2 Innocent Sin. I will be referencing it and other Persona games so there may be some light spoilers for games 2-5.

I played the psp version of the game on a Playstation TV. I beat the game at 76 hours on the dot. I have not completed most of the theater missions, but I have completed the main story of the game and did do a few sidequests.

My review will be organized in several sections-gameplay, story, music, characters, LGBTQ representation, extra content, wishlist and recommendation.

Gameplay:

Persona 2 Innocent Sin was released in 1999. Therefore plays as a game from 1999. The PSP rerelease updated menus, changed the difficulty, and added all out attack art similar to P3-P5 for the fusion spells. I love the all out attack animation and although the menus got a little cumbersome, it didn’t really impact gameplay for me.

The biggest complaint about Persona 2 IS is how easy and repetitive it is and the high encounter rate. The battles for the most part are easy and if you set up all your attacks in the first round, you can basically use autoplay until an emergency occurs or you encounter an enemy in which you must change it up.

I never saw the gameplay as repetitive as others do and I feel those who do only just battle and that’s it. I was constantly trying to get all the fusion spells, max up my personas to trade them for items, try different combinations for the demon negotiations and spread demon rumors to get items, spells, and cards (you need cards to summon new personas in the velvet room.) Demon negotiations also allow you a better look into each of the characters’ personalities and relationships. Events in the game will change how the characters react in these negotiations so it is always nice to go back to them throughout the course of the game.

The demons you encounter have emotions. I believe they are intrigued, happy, angry and fearsome. Make them happy and they will offer a pact with you and give you free stuff and willing to spread rumors for you. Make them angry they will fight you. Make them fear you they will run away. Make them intrigued and you get the cards needed to summon personas and even more if you already have a pact with them.

I wanted to return to the big complaint though, the high encounter rate. This was something that I felt hot and cold about. Most of the time this didn’t bother me, because I needed to level up my personas anyway. But when I needed to backtrack and explore further, it did get a little bothersome.

You can use estoma to avoid enemies weaker than you. It is not a passive skill, so once you have a persona that has it, you have to cast it every time it wears off. At the Mu casino, you can also purchase a disguise kit that does the same thing, but it effects last about the same amount of time and it is ridiculously expensive. Just use estoma.

As briefly mentioned above, unlike Persona 5 in which you can just catch Personas, in P2IS there are only two ways to get them. You get cards from demon negations, take those cards to the velvet room and then trade them in for a Persona. But you have to enough cards to summon it and the persona has to be 5 cards within your character level.

You can also talk to the demon painter, for him to make you cards for the specific arcana you want by using blank cards. These are also given through demon negotiations that you have a pact with.

In P2, ALL your characters are capable of changing out Personas, but their compatibility with different personas varies with their Arcana.

The other way to get personas is through the story. There are certain actions that you must take to get the prime personas and then the final personas. These personas are character specific and you can’t give them to other characters.

I wanted to talk about three more things before I move on to the story: rumormongers, fusion spells, and dungeons.

Persona 2IS is based around rumors. Just like P3 is for the dark hour, P4 the midnight channel, P5 around palaces and so on...

To get certain items and progress the story, you MUST gather and spread rumors. There are five characters throughout the game called rumormongers. They will give you information in exchange for receiving information. You then share this information to the detective agency, pay a fee for them to spread them for you, and there you go. rumor spread. As mentioned earlier, there are also demon specific rumors.

Fusion spells were something I really enjoyed in this game. Although hearing “Are you ready? Here goes” and “Let’s go everybody” will be stuck in my head for the rest of eternity...

Basically, to create a fusion spell, members in your party require a requisite spell and then that party member is placed in a specific order when taking turns. Once that spell is unlocked, it will let you know if you have the requisite spells and you no longer have to adjust the order of party members. Some of the spells you need to unlock fusion spells are persona specific. The fusion spells are elemental.

I will not go into weaknesses of elemental spells, I am just going to say that you aren’t “down”’ed like you are in 3-5.

Finally, my first real pet peeve with this game-the dungeons.

Oh boy. Air raid, AeroSpace and one of the four Zodiac dungeons (I am pretty sure its Eikichi’s) gets ALL my hate. There are cheap gimmicks that make the game artificially hard but only for these dungeons and more so, frustrating.

But I am not going to go into detail why, and the other dungeons are not bad at all. But play the game and experience these dungeons for yourself. That is all I am going to say about that.

Story:

This section will be nowhere was long as gameplay. The story did not go where I thought it would, but that’s a good thing. I would go in completely blind if you can. The ending definitely surprised me a bit. I think it has one of the best stories of the persona games.

It does not follow a calendar like the later Persona games and time just blends together. By the end of the game, you won't know if a day, week or month passed from the beginning to the end.

Music:

The music is actually really good. It is the reason why I played the game in the first place. Just don’t look at the soundtracks names. Spotify has it available if you live in the US. You are better off listening to the soundtrack because I promise you that most dungeons songs will be cut off due to the frequency of battles.

Some of my favorite songs are Smile Hirasaka, Unbreakable Tie, Kurosu’s theme, Joker and the Taurus dungeon’s theme.

Characters:

Despite Persona 2 not having social links, I feel like I know these characters better than some of the persona games that do have social links. It is also the only Persona game that I can say without any hesitation that I like the entire main cast.

I truly love them all, but my favorite would probably be Yukino or Maya.

Unlike other Personas, the dynamics for Persona 2 IS are different, because not all of your party members are high school students. The adult characters have adult problems, the high school students have high school problems, and all of them have deep psychological problems and abandonment issues that will take years of intense therapy (or Philemeon) to forget.

One of the biggest themes of Persona 2 is confronting your past and learning from the mistakes of your childhood. And the characters do! And by the end of the game you are so proud of how far they have come. And then things happen...

LGBTQ representation

Let me say that I started P2IS off on the wrong foot, but I am still absolutely justified at being upset by it. One of the very first interactions you can have with a NPC is through a very uncomfortable exchange between you, Eikichi and a transman that is pretty transphobic. And to add the icing on the cake, Atlus refers to him as a “weird woman.”

I was literally going to just stop playing the game like an hour in because of that, but I decided to continue.

What I discovered was a game that has highs and lows when it comes to LGBTQ representation.

You can play as a bi character who can confess his feelings to men and women. *Stares hard at Persona 4 and Persona 5*

You have a gay character that has an interesting story, character development, is unabashedly gay and isn’t a walking stereotype. Nor is his entire arc centered around gay panic.

From what I understand the dialogue from the NPC does get better, but I am not holding my breath.

And the one sapphic kiss scene we get in a Persona game is a kiss of manipulation and not love. So that is a little sad.

But overall, P2IS does try to make an effort. And it definitely makes a better effort than its successor released almost 2 decades later.

Extra content:

Again, Persona 2 doesn’t have social links or a calendar. Please don’t approach it like the other games where you have to fill up your time between dungeons. It is not a necessity, but there are things you can do.

Mu is a casino that you can visit that allows you to play mini games to gain coins that you can use to get weapons, rare items, and even unlock personas. I spent a little too much time at Mu....

You can also talk to NPCs to do side missions. Be careful though. You have to do the side missions in a given amount of time or you may not get rewarded for it. Also P2IS is very much like Final Fantasy 9 where it is much better to go to a place sooner than later, because there may not be a later...

You also have the factory which is an optional dungeon that opens up more and more as you progress through the game.

There is the theater which is a PSP exclusive which has side missions unrelated to the main story that you can play. They are okay.

Wishlist

I hear so many people wanting a remake of P2IS so the game can be more accessible. I am very torn about this. Besides the difficulty and maaybe tweaking the encounter rate a bit, I wouldn’t change a thing. However, I also know that I couldn’t enjoy Shadow of Colossus until the controls were updated. Like I tried and then just gave up.

I honestly don’t want a remake. I don’t trust the Atlus of today with this game.

I do want it to be acknowledged and more accessible though.

But if I had to make a wish list, this is what it would be. Again, this would be a “it would be nice list.”

Make the battles harder.

Update cut scenes? I really like the art for the cut scenes already, but would like some more. Maybe keep the drawings but update the CG?

Social side quests. I do not want social links in Persona 2. However, side quests that allow you to learn more about your character like a social link would, would be something I would be very interested in.

Make the portraits consistent. The art from the original game and the new art put in the PSP game (I am talking about you climax lady) clash so much. Pick one style and stick to it.

I want to fight Ms. Ideal. Let me do it for reasons. Give me a chance to battle her.

I want the option to switch out characters. I love both Jun and Yukki, but I want to be able to play with both.

Let me skip the animation when I create a new Persona.

*EDIT* I can’t believe I forgot this and feel awful I did, but I do think they should keep the trans NPC, but change the dialogue and the the name. It isn’t the NPC that is the problem but the dialogue and actions. Otherwise, I think it would be ok.

I think that’s it.

Recommendation:

So should you play Persona 2 IS? Short answer, yes. Long answer is that it is complicated. In a few months the game will no longer be accessible for psp consoles. The physical version of the game is ridiculously expensive. You will have to accept the fact this game is on psp and its sequel’s psp version never came to English speaking markets.

You may not like the graphics, gameplay, or that it doesn’t feel like the later persona games. And as much as I love this game, that is alright. You do you. But I truly do think you are missing out on a great game. So if you have the opportunity to do so, yeah absolutely give it a shot.

#Persona 2 #Persona series #persona 3 #Persona 4 #Persona 5

18 notes · View notes

soyouareandrewdobson · 3 years

Text

Dobbear! SYAC: The Master Review 6

I am so going to ruin someone’s childhood with that now, but...

guys, it had to be done!

Dashing and daring…

Courageous and caring!

Faithful and friendly…

With stories to share!

Doesn’t at all apply to this one artist…

Lesbian obsessed and each nerddom’s nightmare!

Dobby BEAR!

Whinning here and there and everywhere!

Making claims that are beyond compare…

This is our Dobby-Bear!

Yeah, if you can’t guess, around now is the time I am going to put down the kids gloves and will really dig into why SYAC is garbage. And a huge factor into this, is in part Dobson’s self insert past 2012.

The existence of the blue bear as Dobson officially calls it (or Dobbear as most people call it) is in my opinion rather baffling already in terms of design choices.

I get e.g. that Dobson wanted to distance himself of his past humanoid self inserts as much as possible. But why of all things a bear?

The fact I am focused on that may sound weird, but hear me out for a bit. For starters, I know that Dobson likes western animation. And seeing how western animation has for the longest time been dominated by anthropomorphic animals, I can understand why he would redesign himself as a funny cartoon animal.

But there are at least three things that feel weird about it. First, Dobson had made it clear in the past that he hates furries. So him actually redesigning himself as an anthropomorphic animal is kinda weird

In fact, Dobson himself acknowledges that realization in one of his strips shortly after his fursona took over.

Second, of all the animals to choose from, why a bear? This question is in so far valid, as that bears are not necessarily one of the first to go animals, furries or western animators tend to go for when designing an anthro. And before any furries or anthro enthusiasts are calling me a hater, let me make one thing clear: I like anthropomorphic cartoon and comic characters too, and am okay with most furries. As long as you don’t have a diaper fetish, are a pedophile or hurt actual animals, you can do and enjoy whatever you like.

But I am also aware enough of furry culture to know, that bear based anthros are most of the time hyper sexualized and muscular, connecting them to how the term “bear” is used in real life gay culture. Which is okay, I think it is just a funny coincidence that Dobson choose an animal, that most furries associate with a life style that Dobson is deeply afraid of, even if he claims to be an LGBT ally.

And as stated earlier, bears are not necessarily the go to animals for animators.

Don’t get me wrong, we all know some cartoon bears like Winnie the Pooh, Yogi Bear, Poh and the main cast of TaleSpin (btw, Kit Cloudkicker fan for life). But lets be honest here; ducks, mice, rabbits, canines, felines, equines and any other “easily to domesticate” animal in the real world tends to make better for easily recognizable cartoon characters than something that can reach a size of 3 meters tops and weigh over 500 pounds.

Truth be told, the pool of cartoon bears is so small, these are the first two things that came to my mind when thinking what may have inspired the Dobbear

And wouldn’t you know? According to Dobson, the Carebears were supposedly the main inspiration for his design.

Unfortunately, this is also more or less the most I could find of Dobson addressing what went into the creation of the character.

Which kinda brings me also to the third issue as why I think the bear redesign is weird; It is too sudden.

One day Dobson draws himself as a shaved 20 something, the next day he is a fedora wearing Carebear clone, likely created and then rejected by Care Bear villain No Heart, as part of a plot to create a mole when conquering Care-A-Lot.

… and now I need to reevaluate my choices in life, that I was able to make such an elaborate Carebear joke.

It is just a change of design that in my opinion should have been addressed either outside of the comic or in context of it. Which it kinda is, but isn’t.

See, this is the first strip with the blue bear

And then only 13 strips or so later in something called “Continuity” is Dobson more or less willing to address the change…

And he does so in a passive aggressive manner, with Persistent Pam as a stand in for those asking him what is going on, while Dobson just dismissively continues working.

On one hand, you can argue that this is just the joke. The change happened, don’t bother with it, just enjoy what is still to come. And you know, I don’t want to make a rope out of everything Dobson ever posted, including that comic.

But then you have also to account for the fact, that Dobson would eventually associate himself with the blue bear so much, he made him his avatar and icon for his comics and online accounts. In fact, that one comic I posted WAY BACK in the first Master post of Dobson reminiscing how he started SYAC?

For reasons that are a bit confusing to me, he redrew himself (badly I have to add) as the blue bear in one of his earliest strips ever. The one where he belittles the manga fangirl for drawing manga. So I have to ask, what is going on here? Has Dobson increasingly decided to reset his past? Does he want to destroy any traces of his “human” self in his work to create the illusion to any new readers, that he never was as controversial of a person as he was and that there never was a need for him to reimagine and reinvent himself? Is this 1984? And how many of you realize that this paragraph is just me going conspiracy nuts for the sake of entertainment?

But still, it is kinda weird that he went to the bother of redrawing his human self in that one background sketch as a bear. Plus, I honestly think Dobson never even attempting to “explain” the change in the pages of his comics is a wasted opportunity for some decent jokes. Like every time Dobson tries to explain why he is a bear now, something interrupts him or we only get fragments of a story that if we put them together would be as ridiculous as the entirety of “Trapped in the Closet”.

I mean, the dumbest joke idea I have in mind is that Dobson went to build a bear to get a present for a family member. Instead he was build into a bear and later on successfully sued the company, which explains why he can afford to live despite not really working on comics anymore but lecture people badly about the evils of nerd culture.

So yeah, three major things about the design choice that more or less confuse me.

But here is the thing: Confusion is nothing compared to feeling genuine disdain for the design at hand. And compared to Dobson’s earlier human designs, Dobbear is just utterly unlikable.

A lot of that boils down to the following three facts:

1. From a certain point in time on (which I will cover in more detail later on) Dobson uses his bearsona primarily as a soapboxing mouth piece to talk about “politics” in nerd culture. Or at least what Dobson perceives as politics, coming off like a condescending jackass who believes among other things that white people are inherently incapable to identify with black people…

… or that comic book shops have radicalized nerd culture, essentially calling them terror cells.

Which btw are so inherently offensive to me, I promise I will cover these two separately. One even sooner than the other.

2. If Dobbear is not talking about politics, he will tend to be a smug asshole to other people (most of the time strawmen) or their interests in one way or another. Being e.g. used by Dobson to express his disdain for criticism…

or to mock legit criticism he had gotten by exaggerating things.

All while also tending to make his critics look like inherent assholes.

These two facts, combined with Dobson’s average erratic behavior online on platforms such as dA, twitter and tumblr over the years, pretty much assured such a close association between the two, that a separation between artist and creation was not possible anymore, condemning them.

And for the record; Dobson was always a bit of a whinner who liked to act as if he was a better nerd than the average comic book fan. Otherwise, we would have not e.g. gotten Danny and Spot out of it.

But as the years went by in the last decade, Dobson turned from someone in his mid 20s, desperate to be seen as a “quirky” and likable internet persona (like certain internet reviewers), into a virtue signaling, lesbian obsessed asshole who likely regrets his life choices.

… Like certain internet reviewers.

But seriously, Dobson turned into someone who would flip the lid at something as ridiculous as Cheeto flavored chicken fries…

While also being just the worst type of condescending nerd….

All while losing his mind about politics. Especially after Donald Trump became president

And just as Dobson became a radicalized left winged jackass who saw politics in everything he consumed, so did by default Dobbear, because Dobbear was not a character with his own personality, but a mouth piece.

Something I am about to get into detail in the near future. But till then, I want to cover in the next post the following third and final fact about Dobbear that really makes him unlikable to me: The fact he can’t be happy.

#syac #Andrew Dobson #dobbear #tom preston #so...you are a cartoonist #review #master review #webcomic #comics

29 notes · View notes

readingsbylibramc · 3 years

Text

birth chart reading for @journeyyfgyg

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. mars has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around taking action to set and achieve your goals. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your family, love life and also your friendships. basically, your relationships with other people.

your dominant planets are mercury, jupiter and neptune. you definitely an artistic talent, or at least you love art of any kind, from music to poetry. you love learning, exploring new topics and your surroundings, you fancy travelling and you are particularly clever and open-minded. you also have a nice sense of humor, you're quite sociable and you get along with others easily.

your dominant sign is sagittarius. you have an amazing sense of humor, your personality is so charismatic that it naturally draws people towards you. you're also extremely open-minded, you rarely have prejudices. you have a knack for spirituality, religion, philosophy... anything that can stimulate you mentally.

your dominant element is fire. you have a warm heart, even though it may be covered by your confidence and independence. in fact, you always strive for the first place. people may be intimidated by your presence, as you're a serious competitor. thanks to this competitive nature of yours you may be very positive and optimistic, making you a good and supportive friend/partner.

🌎 ascendant in sagittarius, 3° / 1st decan ruled by jupiter

you see the world as an adventure. I feel like you typically don’t relate to sagittarius ascendant stereotypes; sag risings are usually very happy-go-lucky, they smile often, but pluto being in the first house may change things a bit. you’re more of a loner, you’re not as extroverted as other sagittariuses. you may relate more to scorpio rising, actually. ironically, you often look sad or angry. you have a knack for philosophy, and your favourite is most probably ‘you only live once’. you tame dying before making the amount of experiences you want to have in your life, hence you could even be impulsive sometimes. you’re the type to always be up to crack a joke or anything that can make you and others smile, yet when someone gets against you, it’s over for them. you have quite of a sharp tongue, you’re pretty blunt and straight-forward. in fact, you may often get in troubles due to your impulsiveness, which may be misunderstood. you have an incredible charm to you; it’s not like taurus’ or libra’s, those are more related to physical traits. sagittarius people, on the other hand, are surely very talented at something; maybe, at school you were one of the best students, and everyone recognized it and appreciated you for that; people understand your potential, and you may often receive compliments for your skills. basically, your personality is charismatic. due to pluto being in the ascendant, I feel like you may even struggle too much with pessimism during your first years, but in case you are, you shouldn’t be. jupiter is also your dominant planet, and it’s willing to give you the best of luck if you respect its themes. hence, you need to have faith in the universe and be optimistic. try to look more at the positive sides in life and even in people. physically, sagittarius is all about abundance, hence you may have trouble losing weight. you could have big bones, or at least something bigger on your body that doesn’t make you look like a model. you’re more on the thick side, in fact you probably have a wide bone structure, with wider hips and/or thick thighs. you could also have wide shoulders, and something big and memorable on your face as well. maybe you have a very distinctive nose, or perhaps your eyes are almond-shaped. your forehead and lips could be pretty wide as well. I’ve also noticed that sagittarius people have a very lively sparkle in their eyes, even though they may be very dark. it’s like having two/three tiny diamonds at the centre of each of your eyes.

sagittarius ascendant square virgo sun: this placement indicates that, when you’re in public, you tend to act in a different way from who you truly are. perhaps you tend to act bubbly and sociable to hide your reserved virgo sun. this can obviously interfer in your relationships and bonds with others; some may expect you to be different, so you may often lose friends because you turned out to be more astute than what they were expecting. in fact, you may often attract people that try to take advantage of you. I wouldn’t worry too much, though, as I find this placement beneficial in your case, exactly because of this reason. but just in case it bothers you, now that you’re aware of this tendency of yours you can try to understand your real self more thanks to this reading, and start acting like who you truly are to get out of your shell.

sagittarius ascendant conjunct sagittarius moon: this placement makes you look softer than the typical sagittarius rising. in fact, you're kind of a cancer rising for some traits: you can read people's mood very well, it's easy for you to understand whether someone is sad, angry, happy... because of that, you always try to make people feel at ease, you're always kind with people, and that makes you extremely likeable. also, since the moon rules over feelings and the inner you, you're probably a very genuine person. it's hard for you to hide your real emotions, and even if you wanted to hide them you wouldn't be capable, you're not fake. you could also have frequent mood swings. you have a strong sense of family and comfort to you, and hence it's extremely essential for you feel at ease to truly be yourself. you may also resemble your mother more than your father.

sagittarius ascendant square pisces mars: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. this manifests both in your face and in your words. you could say things impulsively, and sometimes you're too blunt and hurt people's feelings. you don't do it on purpose, though, there's no malice behind your acts; it's just your natural way to express your opinions. on the other hand, you probably have a very strong charisma to you that makes you look very captivating and bold. people see you as a leader, and hence they could get intimidated by your presence. to cope with this placement, you can try controlling yourself and your words before speaking. I'm aware that it's a way to vent your anger, but you can find another way that doesn't hurt others.

sagittarius ascendant square virgo jupiter: you probably learn a lot from people around you. you're most likely surrounded by wise, spiritual and possibly foreign individuals in your life. they help you to grow up, both spiritually and mentally. you're also very open-minded, and you rarely have prejudices. the downside to this placement is that you may be depend too much on your friends or lovers, especially when it comes to your beliefs. you're easy to influence, and you may change your mind often if others disagree with you. you could possibly have high expectations from others, creating a false idea of those who surround you. at least, you're aware of your abilities and you have the potential to make the most out of them, but you're modest about it. you don't come off as bossy, as other jupiter - asc aspects would.

🌞 sun in virgo, 9° / 1st decan ruled by mercury

you try to avoid conflicts as much as possible. you're very smart and insightful, and you strive for perfection; in a room, you always want to be the best, whether it's fashion-wise, or maybe at work or school. you're a perfectionist, you can't bear being #2. to be perfect, you don't bring others down, though. that's because you want to prove your power to yourself, not to others. it's like a way to increase you low self-esteem. in fact, it depends a lot on your achievements; if you don't meet your expectations, you start going through a hard time of insecurity and struggles. you find beauty in aesthetically-pleasant things, therefore you care a lot about hygiene and possibly about looks too. for example, your house probably looks very neat, and you chose your furniture wisely. you clean it everyday, you can't stand dust or any bad smells. you're also very organized, but you tend to base your life too much on a schedule. you love communicating. you're also very introspective, and you're fond of art and creativity in general. you're very critical, both of yourself and of others. you don't do it with malice, though, but you want to frequent people that try to be at their best all the time, just like you after all.

virgo sun square sagittarius moon: with this aspect, what you need and what you want tend to clash. in your case, your sagittarius moon wants to be in the spotlight, you want to be sociable and have fun. you want to go out often and live life to the fullest, while your virgo sun is more private, it prefers being alone. as a result, you may come off as unpredictable and / or indecisive. you could struggle with being optimistic, as you have this inner turmoil in you that makes you struggle to attract positive situations in your life. you may often feel conflicted, as if you didn't have control over your emotions. you may have unstable self-esteem, one day you could be feeling extra confident and happy with yourself and then the next day you feel very insecure, you want to change everything about your persona. you could feel unwanted, or perhaps you actually used to feel unwanted during your childhood, perhaps by your parents, relatives or even by other children at school. you're basically a walking paradox, you want both intimacy and independence, stability and flexibility.

virgo sun conjunct virgo venus: you enjoy peace and harmony. you want your surroundings to look all neat and clean, and same goes for the people you surround yourself with. you wish people saw you as easy to approach, even though you may struggle with your image. you try to be as formal and kind as possible with people you don’t know well, unless they start getting on your nerves by disagreeing with your opinions or being too bossy. you’re very feminine, not only in your looks and manners but also in the way you dress. you’re quite romantic too, and dream of having a perfect marriage. the downside to this aspect is that because you take so much care of yourself, people may mistake your self-love for vanity, especially with your virgo placements. also, your self-esteem may depend too much on others’ opinion of you; you may start thinking you’re ugly and unworthy of love just because someone told you you’re not their type, to sum up.

virgo sun opposite pisces mars: you’re extremely passionate about the things you love, you strive to be perfect at them, and your perfectionist, virgo nature confirms this. this could make you quite competitive, as your virgo sun wants to succeed and be always right. I feel like you don’t really enjoy being in the spotlight; you’d rather avoid conflicts, or at least not be the center of them. yet, sometimes it’s hard for you not be aggressive. I don’t think it happens often, but you can be very blunt and rude if someone truly gets on your nerves. this, paired up with your sagittarius dominance, makes you sort of dramatic. as long as you don’t react like this too often, I don’t think it’s a big issue though.

virgo sun conjunct virgo jupiter: this placement makes you more easy-going and kind-hearted than the typical virgo sun. you have a warm personality. I imagine that, once you get to know people, you become very outgoing. you always try to make people feel comfortable and, matched with your sagittarius moon, this placement makes you particularly considerate of others. you have a knack for religion, spirituality and just knowledge in general. you have strong beliefs, and you're most probably very open-minded as well. the negative side of this mostly-beneficial placement is that you may be subconsciously too confident in yourself, resulting arrogant or selfish. it's alright to praise yourself of course, but you may start to look down on people who don't share your same interests, opinions etc. you can't repress this side of yourself of course, but try not to show it with people around you if it causes you problems.

🌙 moon in sagittarius, 0° / 1st decan ruled by jupiter

you're an outgoing and warm person, who always tries to make others feel at ease. I assume you try to be nice to everyone, but you can't help but be a little awkward around people you don't know. with your sagittarius moon, you go with the flow and don't shy away from challenges. they're moments to prove your potential and abilities. you are an extremely open-minded person, you rarely judge a book by its cover. you probably despise racism, homophobia, misogyny etc. with a passion (as you should tbh). you may also be into poetry, philosophy, and just anything that can stimulate both your mind and feelings. in fact, your mind is constantly wandering somewhere else, allowing you to travel with your fantasy. you're also probably attracted to foreign things, like people, music, fashion, languages, movies etc. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. when you get angry, you can actually get very rude and offensive, even towards authorities. you’re short-tempered, and you despise being told what to do. you’re also a good, loyal friend, and you’re the type to stand up for them and defend them during a fight. you’re friendly, especially with people you feel comfortable with, and you probably love talking. you’re able to put a smile on others’ face just by telling your stories, even though you never truly go in-depth. you're quite optimistic, as you see good in everyone. yet, while this is a good trait that allows you to be more at ease in relationships, you may also be fooled easily due to your blind optimism.

sagittarius moon square pisces mars: your feelings are very intense. you may tend to react aggressively, or at least overreact. you feel the constant need to express your emotions, but you also want to be understood by others. you tend to be aggressive because you're actually afraid that others may be the first ones to hurt you. you don't really do it with malice, it's your way to defend yourself from eventual enemies. this placement also indicates that your childhood / family life was or will be quite turbulent. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to be a little bit more mechanic when you express your feelings. you don't have to hide them, just try not to vent all your anger around.

sagittarius moon square virgo jupiter: you enjoy making different experiences and living your life to the fullest, making you also a risk-taker. you may lack self-control. with this trait you get bored easily, and you may have a reputation for being flaky. you tend to overindulge; you may spend too much money, or even develop eating disorders like binge-eating. at least, you're able to build your life again and have a fresh start, but you risk to get stuck in this cycle. you have the potential to master different talents, but you may struggle to develop them due to this placement. you're a procrastinator, and you find it hard to focus on more things at the same time. you may also attract people with different beliefs and ideas from you, causing you to fall out with them easily. there are also positive sides to this placement, though! you're probably naturally lucky, even though luck may not always be by your side.

🗣 mercury in virgo, 24° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and venus

you have a very logical, pragmatic mind. ironically, this creates contrast with your sagittarius energy, confusing you as you may act differently in different situations. you try to be as well-spoken as possible, especially with strangers, but when people get on your nerves you can’t help but kill them with your words. before expressing your opinion on a certain matter, you like making sure that your thought actually has proof to be supported. you’re very analytical, and hence you also overthink a lot. especially when it comes to people you care, you start overthinking so much about little things like late replies to messages that you create a variety of hollywood-worthy scenarios in your head. you also pay lots of attention to details, and you can’t tolerate typos and grammar mistakes. you always try to speak and write in the most correct and polite way as possible. you may have an elegant, yet neat handwriting. your voice probably sounds very calm and collected, yet you don’t have any problems speaking at a louder tone.

virgo mercury square sagittarius pluto: you may become a bit manipulative. you probably don’t even realize it, though, as you have the ability to make people do what you want them to do. you probably love being right, especially during arguments, and you always manage to be so thanks to your skills. your words are like knives for others, they can truly cut deep through their ego. you’re direct and blunt, as you just say what you have in mind with no filters. you can develop a provocative attitude without even realizing it, which can obviously cause you conflicts. you need to be more careful about how you communicate your ideas, otherwise you could seriously damage other people’s self-esteem. on the other hand, if you acknowledge your flaws and work on them, this can actually turn into diplomacy. take advantage of your interest in your inner self to find out how to be a bit more gentle in choosing your words.

❤️ venus in virgo, 13° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and saturn

in your group of friends you’re most probably the late bloomer. in fact, it probably took you a while to experience romance. that’s because love isn’t your priority, even though you crave emotional affection and security. you’re not the type to fall for someone at first sight, you’re only into people that are willing to commit to you. you seek a partner that is hard-working and takes care of themselves, both physically and mentally but, at the same time, that would only look at you. it could take you some time to feel totally comfortable around your partner, but once you trust them, you’ll stay with them for a while. it’s hard for you to show your love with words, hence you do it with little gestures. you probably remember stuff like their birthday, their favorite food etc., and you wouldn’t mind receiving the same kind of affection back. when it comes to love, you’re not a risk-taker; you probably prefer being courted rather than court others, and if you do it, you make sure that the other person likes you back. you enjoy helping others, you’re the type of friend or lover that wouldn’t hesitate to do favors. yet, you want to be appreciated, otherwise you may just feel used. you may be quite hard to satisfy, but you’re surely very loyal.

virgo venus square sagittarius pluto: you find yourself having crushes on random people often, love at first sight is common for you. but when you seriously fall for someone, they’re your only thought. you start searching for info about them online, and you wanna become part of their life too. you love intensely, but not everyone may enjoy that. there are people that could feel overwhelmed by your love, others that would vibe with you and offer you the same kind of affection. ironically, you tend to attract detached, manipulative people that most of the times don’t want anything serious. you’re prone to get jealous and possessive very easily, and this makes you suffer, as you may think there’s something wrong with you. maybe, it may even remind you of something that happened during your childhood, perhaps your parents were also very protective of you. love for you is a constant grow; your relationships will be hard, but there’ll always be something to learn to improve yourself and your confidence. little side-note, you may often date karmic partners, aka partners from your past lives, so you may often experience this 'I’ve already seen you before’-vibe in your new encounters and relationships, and you’ll always learn something from all your relationships.

☄️ mars in pisces, 3° / 1st decan ruled by neptune

you go with the flow. even though your virgo sun makes you want to be organized and stable, your pisces mars does the opposite. in fact, you rely a lot on your intuition rather than logic. this may make you appear as submissive, sometimes, as if you can’t stand up for yourself. you’re actually a very spiritual person though, who thinks deeply before acting. you’re aware of your actions, but at the same time you’re ready for eventual changes in your schedule/routine. you have no problems improvising, you’re very versatile. the problem is, you may rely so much on your intuition that you don’t take action. you’re the type to fantasize about being a better person, rather than trying to become one. you may also have the tendency to be passive-aggressive and avoid problems; you may prefer being cold to someone rather than trying to work your argument out. this energy is probably mitigated by your prominent sagittarius energy, though; in fact, it makes you quite impulsive and also blunt.

pisces mars opposite virgo jupiter: you may often experience 'almost winner' situations. in fact, it seems like there's always something or someone who tries to get into your way, succeeding. you most probably have some karmic lessons to learn, especially regarding violence. maybe, in your past life you were so blunt that you hurt someone very deeply. you might have been a bully, or maybe you were the one bullied or even abused. you've got a hot temper, and the worst thing is that you hold onto anger for a quite a bit, especially since your pisces mars makes you bottle all of your feelings up. there are lessons you need to learn in this lifetime, exactly regarding these issues. probably, you may find yourself having enemies, or just people misunderstanding you in general. that's caused exactly by this karmic placement. it's something that you should be able to solve with time and with awareness of the meaning of your words, but also with will. I assume that you're either blindly optimistic or the opposite, you always think everything's going down. be more realistic, and use things like astrology, meditation etc. to find out what's going in your mind. it'll be the key to finally understand how to act, since you'd finally have a clear vision of the world. you're very spiritual, you just need to embrace your higher self.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in sagittarius, with also pluto placed there. you come off as someone very sympathetic and bold, you're probably the fun one in the family or in your group of friends, even though pluto's presence conjunct the ascendant may delay this energy. you are very charismatic, you have a witty sense of humor and people are always pleased to have you around, as you're able to light up the room. people always see you as someone easy to talk to, someone trustworthy. you probably have great problem-solving skills or, otherwise, you just ignore your problems and wait for time to heal. you're also quite spiritual, you may be sensitive to higher entities and you could possibly also be religious.

your 2nd house is in capricorn. your relationship with money may not be totally stable; you may get distracted easily, and you could lose your money around. this is usually a placement that indicates sudden money loss. this placement also confirms that your self-esteem isn’t stable either; you could be quite insecure, and you may idealize a lot the way you look. for example, you could think that you have an ugly nose when it’s actually the opposite. same goes for your belongings; you may think that you have saved loads of money, you spend them, and then you realize you didn’t really have much. on the other hand, even though you may lack self-esteem and financial security during the first years of your life, it will all get better in the future.

your 3rd house is in the sign of aquarius, with also uranus, mars and neptune. when it comes to speech, you’re most likely more introspective. you may not be much talkative, and most of the time you keep your ideas and thoughts to yourself, but actually it's hard for you to hide them. you may be secretive, but you're easy to read. you learn the best when you’re close to creativity or imagination, you’re very intuitive and hence it's easier for you to learn new topics. while you're very empathetic and you're able to properly convey your thoughts and feelings in your speech, you may also come off as sensitive or even insecure. you may have a quiet voice, and hence you could come off as shy. you have a very distinctive way of thinking and speaking. you don't like being like others, you don't follow trends. you're probably the trendsetter, and you may find confidence and pride in your ideas and opinions. some may even define you weird, but you have very strong beliefs that could actually be helpful for the world. you're quite 'ahead' of others from this point of view, you're able to find beauty in things without being influenced by others. for example, you may follow a fashion trend before it gets viral. you are able to come up with very innovative ways of solving problems, you're extremely creative. you may even be the type to invent your own words, or perhaps you love learning and reading new words, you have a wide vocabulary. you're also probably interested in science and any darker or logical topic, you want to use your words and theories to change something in the world. you want to leave an impact, maybe even help others through your mind. you have a very witty sense of humor, you most likely speak fluent sarcasm and you're also very astute.

your 4th house is in pisces. when you were young, you probably didn’t feel at ease with yourself. you might have been the outcast, that one kid that stood out in the daycare. you probably didn’t have many friends either, but you weren’t that sad about it. you enjoyed playing, drawing and watching your favorite cartoons alone. you find emotional comfort and security in your home, in your parents and in just family in general. you used to be very attracted to arts when you were a kid, and you kept this love with you while growing up. maybe, you were the type of child to lie to your parents. you have a good relationship with your parents, even though you may argue often as you're all quite impulsive and unpredictable. you may even be an absent parent, maybe your parents are divorced or one of them died.

your 5th house is ruled by aries. you find confidence in your creativity, and you have the desire to express it to the world. I think you’re probably the type to organize and arrange all the meetings and parties with your friends, you're practically the leader of your friend group. you may have aries hobbies, therefore you may be into sports and challenges of any kind. you could also enjoy working out and taking care of your physical appearance in general, you always try to look good.

your 6th house is in taurus. you may find yourself dating people at your work place, or maybe at school you used to go out with people from your class/school. romance is part of your daily life for you. you like surrounding yourself with venusian aesthetic, so you probably take care of your body, your fashion, your home and so on. you may also be very fond of animals and money. this placement usually makes someone procrastinate a bit, you may have the habit of dedicating yourself too much to your passions without finishing your work, but I don't think it's your case. there are other placements in your chart that make you more hard-working than you look. you are in fact very dedicated to your job and routine. you probably don't like changes, you'd rather follow a schedule in your day-to-day life. your job and skills could be the key to make you gain more confidence in yourself, as they would give you the independency that you crave due to your sagittarius rising. you may have a job that allows you to earn a great income, and perhaps you could heal people with it. hence, you could be some sort of therapist, counselor, nurse or even something more artistic, like a writer. anything that allows you to heal people with your words would be suitable for you. you could also work in a place where you have to handle others' money or possessions in general.

your 7th house is in gemini. in a partner, you seek someone intelligent that is able to keep up with your rhythm. you don’t have time to nurture someone, you want them to fully understand you. in fact, you may be more attracted to older partners, as they’re supposed to be more mature. I don’t see many issues arising in your marriage life, it will probably be very peaceful, but it may take you a while to find someone you like. you’re a picky person when it comes to love, you want someone hard-working and responsible with a big brain, yet they should also be quite outgoing and funny. you need mental stimulation, someone that is a constant adventure for you and that is worth exploring. maybe, you're actually afraid of falling in love; or perhaps, it's the opposite: your risk-taker sagittarius energy made you jump into relationships, even if they weren't actually your priority. it may be hard for you to fall for someone, but once you do, you're totally invested in them.

your 8th house is in cancer. saturn is also placed there. you are a very private individual, you have trust issues and you only share your concerns to people you're sure you can trust. you tend to preserve yourself, even though it’s hard for you to repress your emotions, as they’re too to intense to bottle them up. you absorb people’s feelings like a sponge, there’s no way that you won’t instantly understand their real emotions. overall, you tend to overreact a lot; you have the cancer's sensitive energy on one side and 8th house’s mysterious, almost scary vibe. dealing with these emotional burnouts may be stressing to you, as you totally get caught up in them. even if it looks like you get to know other people often, you actually don’t let others know you. you’re the type of person to talk and socialize, especially after your saturn return, but you never reveal your deepest fears and thoughts to strangers. you only open up to people you’re sure you can trust. you have very high standards when it comes to love. you're a passionate, loyal lover, but at the same times you also want and need a lover that is willing to go as far as you go with your feelings. you may often test your partner to see if they're worthy of your love, for example. you have this sort of self-destructive behaviour that makes people stressed, just because you have extreme trust issues and you feel the need to control everyone, especially if 'everyone' is your lover.

your 9th house is in leo. you’re able to grasp a lot of information that makes you think more about your identity. you’re probably interested in philosophy, poetry, literature... you are a perfectionist at school, and you probably have amazing grades. you are very justice-driven, you like learning new things and being the #1 at pretty much everything you care about. yet, you could be quite bossy at times, as you could come off as a bit too arrogant but you're just very dedicated. on the other hand, you're also very intelligent and open-minded above all, you could feel particularly drawn to foreign cultures and languages and you could be naturally skilled. you may also get to travel a lot or even move abroad at a certain point in your life, you're definitely a citizen of the world and you hardly ever have prejudices. the sun, jupiter and venus are also sitting here: people may consider you flaky, as you value freedom above all. you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them. you are an extremely wise person, and you believe strongly in your beliefs. you rarely change your mind, but most of the time you’re an open-minded person. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. you may also be attracted to foreign things, such as foreign literature, fashion, art, music etc. it’s another way to travel and open your mind, without actually having to leave your house when you’re busy.

your 10th house is in virgo. mercury is also sitting there. you might be seen by strangers as a caretaker, someone extremely organized who has their life together, but that also doesn’t hesitate to take care of their physical appearance. your ultimate job would have to be some sort of healing career, you want to give and teach something through your work. in addition, your career is where you put most of your energy. you're driven by a strong sense of duty, and your career is also able to increase your confidence. you want to be a leader and create a name for yourself. you will also get to communicate something through your career, or you'll use your voice and thoughts to make money. you could easily become a writer, a lawyer, a diplomat, an interpreter, you could work in a field related to marketing, etc.

your 11th house is in libra. you enjoy getting to know new people, maybe you have to do it because your job requires that. but just because you need to communicate with other people, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re your friends. basically, you're the type to know a lot of persons, but you may always feel lonely. that's because your bond with them is kind of shallow, they're not someone too intimate with you. hence, you feel as if you can never share your feelings with anyone. your friends may also be very good looking, perhaps even a bit more extroverted than you.

your 12th house is in scorpio, with also the moon placed there. this is another placement that indicates that you crave intense, life-changing bonds, but that you also tame them. you're afraid of being betrayed, and hence you just end up repressing your feelings. on the other hand, this placement makes you extremely spiritual. you may be attracted to the occult or any spiritual topic: astrology, tarots, even spirits. you may use these tools to get to know yourself more. you can become aware of your karmic issues thanks to astrology for example, and use it to finally solve and break free from your limitations. it's important for you to get closer to your spiritual, higher self in this lifetime. it will probably make your life much easier. you could even have very vivid dreams, and perhaps you may predict the future through them. you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract aries, scorpio, gemini, virgo and capricorn. your future spouse is probably going to be very magnetic and mature, but also very caring, playful and affectionate with you. with your soulmate, it may be love at first sight. you're also most likely going to meet someone very spiritual, and your future spouse could actually be your soulmate. you may meet them at work, maybe they're a customer of yours, or a co-worker or even your boss. they could be a scorpio, a gemini or have those signs in their birth chart. your children will have huge aries influence on them, therefore they'll be very active and restless, maybe immature at times but also very affectionate and warm.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for herself when she has to, but she may struggle to do that. she's very smart and optimistic, and she could be into fashion and self-care. yet, she coule be a bit moody, over-emotional and impulsive. she may have pisces, scorpio, sagittarius and / or aries placements in her chart. your father is a bit more serious and focused on work, but he always made sure you had what you needed. he also has a more playful side to him, that he may not show often. he could be a pisces, a gemini, a leo, a cancer or virgo. if you have siblings, they probably have prominent capricorn / aquarius / pisces / cancer placements in their chart. you may fight often with them, and you may be quite possessive of each other. yet, this relationships gets naturally better as you grow up, you are going to get along more in the future.

📊 career

I imagine that you would do best at a career that involves healing, teaching... I can see you doing well in the medical field, for example. especially as a nurse, where you mostly interact with patients. you may also work for associations like the onu, where you're surrounded by people from all over the world. hence, you get in touch with different cultures that can help you opening your mind. you want a wealthy job, where you can be your own leader and use your imagination. I can also picture you doing some sort of online job, you could become an influencer for example or you may be known online for your talents. as I've already said before, you have probably a creative talent to you that could make you quite successful. overall, you want a job where you don't really have to depend on others. actually, you probably strive to be your own boss. you would also do well as a teacher or professor, and you may have to speak foreign languages for your job.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

I imagine you put a lot of effort into your outifts, yet you don’t show it. you want to look effortlessly good, you don’t want to give the impression that you tried. your style may be quite minimalistic and simple, with lots of jeans, sweatshirts, plain t-shirts… I see you being more into natural shades, like white, grey, beige etc. you’re also not very fond of using too many accessories, you’re stylish but still very simple. you have this natural charm to you, hence you still look good even though your outfits may not be too complex. you could as well be fond of high quality, possibly designer clothes.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were a very spiritual individual. you were close to your higher self, and you probably were able to talk to ghosts, you used to interpret your dreams and you most likely were also interested in astrology and other occult matters. in this lifetime, you need to put your spirituality aside for a while, and focus on finding out your identity here on the earth. you can still use spirituality to find out, but your priority is learning your karmic lessons regarding your self-esteem and work. you’ll finally be able to reach happiness and fulfill your soul when you start having an organized schedule, which allows you to balance both your hobbies and work.

🤔 major transits analysis / september 23

with transit jupiter in your 3rd house conjunct your natal aquarius uranus, you may come across unexpected luck in these days, so pay attention to any signs! they were most likely meant to be. the north node is also currently conjunct your descendant, meaning that you may be meeting lots of potential lovers in these days, and you may even find yourself a partner of even future spouse. you definitely attract relationships easily with these transits.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

- libramc xx

#astrology

4 notes · View notes

gothamcityneedsme · 3 years

Photo

I saw this bouncing around my dash and decided to fill it out myself for fun :) I decided to not double-list any games, and I tried to mix up the companies I used too so that the list would be more unique.

Long post, so I’m doing a readmore for my longwinded part lol.

(read more)

Favorite Game: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords - I could talk about this game forever. How it tears apart the Star Wars universe from within, how it creates a compelling story while challenging the usual themes, etc. I could talk for ages about the characters and how their motivations slot in place, and how this game lends itself to interpretation and analysis alongside roleplay. It’s just a wonderful game, one I deeply love and will always love. It’s a game that isn’t afraid to have you talk to other characters for twenty or thirty minutes at a time and honestly I’m always riveted at every line. This game deserves the cult fanbase it has, but I think there’s a lot the fanbase misses in appreciating this game. (Note...gameplay is a little janky and a community made mod restores a lot content that was cut before shipping-the game wasn’t properly finished).

Best Story: Fallout New Vegas - It’s the setting that makes the story here, and all the moving pieces and factions alongside the main conflict really make this game stand out. There’s so many little pieces to find along the way in the world and the way the main quest splits based on who you want in power feels important--and you are choosing a future for this whole region.

Favorite Art Style: The Witness - This game is peacefully wonderful with its visuals. There are wonderful nature scenes and nests of wires and panels spreading in various parts of the island that are fascinating to look at. The environment is half of the gameplay in most areas, so it’s important to look around even though exploration is not really the gameplay. You find puzzles in the world, even in nature, and it’s fascinating. The colors are bright and beautiful. There is even a map in the middle of the island inside of a lake that helps you track your progress if you notice it (it isn’t like a normal ‘map’).

Favorite Soundtrack: Shin Megami Tensei IV - I love video game soundtracks, but SMTIV is something special. The music booms in ways that make you really understand the atmosphere of the world, and there’s a great mix of different kinds of tracks for different places. I love the tracks for the other worlds you enter, and the themes of the different routes are done so well. Some of the music draws from past SMT games, but the remixes done for this game really are stunning to me, and there’s so many fantastic original tracks.

Hardest Game: I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream - I love this game but I literally never touch it without a walkthrough, which is why it gets to be the hardest game on the list, despite being a point and click adventure game lol. Also just emotionally this game is challenging too, but I definitely mean this more in terms of getting a ‘perfect run’.

Funniest Game: The Stanley Parable - Trying to make this list has taught me that I don’t really play many ‘funny games’. I don’t know if a game where multiple endings demand that you kill yourself should count as a ‘funniest game’, but it is also a game where the narrator tells you to stare at a fern and memorize its features, so....it counts.

Game I Like that is Hated: RWBY Grimm Eclipse - I’ve been playing this game since it was in early access and have loved it the whole time. I find the gameplay soothing and fun, and I like playing the different characters. It’s a game I play to chill out and just enjoy some fun battle mechanics. It’s a fun game and I’ve spent over 100 hours in it, so I hope I like it, lol.

Game I Hate that is Liked: Nier Automata - Neither this game’s gameplay or story impress me, and the fact that you have to replay basically the same stuff from a more boring-to-play-character’s pov in order to SEE all of the plot is a huge damper on the experience. The story, to me, someone who engages with a lot of robot-focused fiction, is far from impressive or new, and it hardly engages with genre specifics at all, let alone in a new or interesting way. I view this game as ‘a story with robots in it’ rather than ‘a story about robots’, which, to me, is a detriment.

Underrated: Nevermind - This game is amazing and very unheard of--and when it is heard of, it has been marketed incorrectly. Nevermind seems like a horror game, and does market itself as one a bit, but it’s much more than that. It’s more about trauma, recovery, therapy, etc. This is a game that is so mindful about the topics it engages in that I am impressed by it every time. It’s heavy with symbolism and character, despite lacking conversations or other similar game mechanics. This is a lovely game that I really wish more people knew about-`p5-all of the patients are so interesting, and the focus on recovery and mental health is impressive.

Overrated: Fire Emblem - I sort of mean this as the series as a whole really. I have enjoyed the entries I have played somewhat, but I overall consider the series much less impressive than I was led to believe by others. The gameplay especially is not impressive to me in any regard, even though I sometimes do find myself enjoying it. The stories are alright, but many of them are weighed down by the gameplay and as a writer and person who likes to analyze writing, it’s very hard to do so when it isn’t able to fully exist under the chains the gameplay forces on it. There are ways to mix gameplay and story well, Fire Emblem has not really done that in any of the entries I’ve played. That being said, I don’t regret playing them, and I will occasionally replay, but I consider them mediocre games at best.

Best Voice Acting: Devil Survivor 2 - I love the voice acting in this game. I feel like all the characters are really suited to their voices, and it’s really easy for me to visualize their voices. They really bring the game to life and make both the dramatic and the funny scenes more enjoyable.

Worst Voice Acting: Jedi Knight Jedi Academy - I love this game, I really do, but some of the voice acting is janky. Some of it is okay too--I think Kyle Katarn’s voice actor does fine, and some of the others I like NOW but hated when I was a kid, but the male protagonist voice in this game is just awful. Which is bad when Jennifer Hale is the female voice actress lol. His performance is passable though unless you’re playing darksided--the darksided ending to the game lacks all punch when you’re playing the male protagonist.

Favorite Male: Battler Ushiromiya from Umineko no Naku Koro Ni - He’s the protagonist for most of the visual novels and I adore him utterly, especially once you move past episode 2. He’s a wonderful character who I care about deeply. I love his drive and how he fights--he’s someone who is easy to cheer for. He matures well throughout the series and his character development is just wonderful.

Favorite Female: Naoto Shirogane from Persona 4 - I really like how Naoto fits so well in the game, especially for being a final recruit--oftentimes the final recruit of Persona games (post 3) have a bit of a more difficult time feeling right with the group. Naoto works really well though, and I love her struggles and story as well. I think the difficulties she has concerning living as a woman in her field hit very deep to a problem that has existed for a very long time.

Favorite Protagonist: Connor of Daventry from King’s Quest 8 Mask of Eternity - I’m like, one of four fans of this character in the world, lol. KQ8 is not a very well liked game and it does have a lot of issues, both with age and with how much of a departure it is from the series prior to it. It’s strange to take a puzzle adventure game and make it a hybrid with what basically is a shooter, and it doesn’t really work. Add to that the fact that you spend most of your time in the game without anyone around to talk to and it leads to this really polarizing and weird experience. For me, Conner goes through what I would consider to be the ‘Ultimate Nightmare Scenario”. Everyone in the world is turned to stone except him (and he survived out of mere chance) and so now it’s up to him, practically alone, to save the entire world. There is no game lonelier than this. I adore him for his bravery in the face of it, and how he just picks up to do what must be done because someone should do it, and if no one else can, then he will. I also really love how he apologizes to people who are encased in stone while he takes money from their houses to help him on his journey. I really do think he went back after the game was over and gave everyone heaps of gold to pay them back with interest lol.

Favorite Village: Oakvale from Fable - The first Fable is the only one I really like, and it was one of the games I played when I was little, so the hometown in the game always meant a lot to me. I like how you grow up there and how your tragic backstory is there--and then how you get to return to the town years later after you’ve come into your own, and you can see it completely rebuilt. I like to spend a lot of my time in this town, just wandering around it and playing the minigames. Even though I have a house in every town, Oakvale is where my hero calls home.

Most Hated Character: Merril from Dragon Age 2 - I don’t really want to lay into how I feel about Merril, but what I will say is that it was suggested to me that I totally ignore her when playing, and I did so. I only met her for her quest, dropped her off in town, and literally never spoke to her or interacted for the rest of the game. I had a much better experience for it, honestly. She appeared after I made my choice in the end of the game, which felt weird since I hadn’t spoken to her in several ingame years, but other than that, the game was totally fine without her. I sort of just wish you could kill characters in DA2 the way you can in DAO, then I’d just do that, tbh. It doesn’t suit very many (or any) of the characters I rp in DA2 to keep her around or support her in any way.

First Game I Played: Mixed up Mother Goose Deluxe - I’m not actually sure if this is the FIRST game I’ve ever played or not, but it’s one of the first I played alone as a kid. I really loved it--this is probably what created my love for point and click adventures, and the game was very silly and fun.

Favorite Company: Bioware - I’ve always been a sucker for Bioware games, ever since Knights of the Old Republic 1 was my favorite childhood game. I love how they do stories and party members, and while I’m not a fan of all of their games, I really love what they’ve made and their style of storytelling and character driven plot. Even though sometimes their stories get cliche, I think the suit video games well and most of my early gaming was within their games.

Hated Company: EA - Bioware truly only started to go to shit after the EA acquisition, so I fucking hate EA. I know Bioware had issues before EA too, but I definitely don’t think EA has helped the situation whatsoever.

Depressing Game: The Beginner’s Guide - I relate to this game as a creator and a writer, and it affects me deeply because of the story it tells and the questions it raises. It makes me reflect on how I think of myself as a creator, and it reminds me of friendships I used to have.

Creepy Game: The Path - God, I love this game. It’s just aimlessly wandering around and finding symbolic scenery and watching your current character comment on it. Then, you go off to find your girl’s wolf, and each one is different and unique to her, and you watch it ‘kill’ her--and facing her wolf is the only way each girl can truly mature. Whenever you get to grandmother’s house, the camera switches to first person, and your eyes keep closing, so you can only see while clicking to move. It forces you to keep moving so that you can see, but since you are moving, you only get to see things somewhat vaguely. It’s got a great atmosphere, and I love the symbolic storytelling.

Happy Game: Eastshade - This game is so sweet. There’s some drama around to with many of the quests, but I like this as an rpg without combat, and I think this would be a really good kids game. There’s a lot to see and explore, and the game was made to be really pretty so that you want to paint several aspects of it. It’s really lovely to just wander around in this game and bike around the area, painting anything that suits your fancy. As long as you don’t finish the main quest, you’re free to wander, and materials do respawn, so you essentially can infinitely paint once you get far enough.

Favorite Ending: Virtue’s Last Reward - I love the questions this game asks and where the ending goes. It thematically ties together--the whole reason the game itself exists is to get the attention of a ‘higher being’--the player, essentially. I love how it plays with that concept, and even though the final game in the series doesn’t entirely pick this idea up where this game left it, standalone this game is stunning in how it comes together.

#shitpost #long post #this was fun to do #i made it so every answer was a different video game and i tried to mix up my companies as well #got 3 atlus games on here but mer #2 obsidon #llol #2 sierra too haha but still #beginner's guide and tsp were made by the same guy too but #STILL I LIMITED MYSELF OK #these answers aren't absolute because i was trying to have a good diverse list lol

9 notes · View notes