reminder that Natalia literally means "birthday/birth," specifically in reference to the birth of Christ. you know, a figure best known for his death and resurrection.
Natalia, a character whose chief symbolic narrative significance seems to be helping Buck realize he needs to choose/prioritize/embrace life (as symbolized by his friend Kameron and the birth of her baby, a baby he helped bring into this world, a baby who is so very loved and wanted in its own right, with no ulterior motivation or purpose) over death- his fixation on his own (very Jesus-coded) death and resurrection, his lifetime of passive suicidal ideation and risk taking, the spectre of Daniel's death that has hung over him since his own birth.
Marisol, a character introduced for Eddie- the man who's spent the back half of this season reckoning with his own loneliness, solitude, and desire for a partner in life?
Fit: Where is Pac? Where’s Pac? I haven’t seen him in 5 minutes, is he dead? Is he dead? Did something happen to Pac, is he gone? Where is he?
[He looks for Pac on the map]
Fit: YEP, just all out here all by myself. Yep, just all by myself. Yeah I’m fine, I’m totally fine, I’m totally fine, yeah, this is fine. This is totally fine. All by myself. Yeah. Totally. Yeah…
It’s about wanting and not wanting: about needing people to pour themselves out into you and then needing them to stop, to restore the boundaries of the self, to maintain separation and control. It’s about having a personality that both longs for and fears being subsumed into another ego; being swamped or flooded, ingesting or being infected by the mess and drama of someone else’s life, as if their words were literally agents of transmission.
Olivia Laing, from The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone
LOVE IS A FEAST BUT YOU'VE LEARNED TO ABSTAIN; ON LONELINESS THAT EATS YOU ALIVE
Bob Schofield WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE ABOUT LOVE WITH PLENTY OF CITATIONS (via @masoeuretmoi) // Phoebe Bridgers Moon Song // Olivia Laing The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone // Xooang Choi (via @larameeee) // Fyodor Dostoevsky The Brothers Karamazov // Ocean Vuong Thanksgiving 2006
on loneliness
jenny slate / japanese breakfast, posing for cars / corinne von lebusa, big glow / dadushin / alejandra pizarnik, tr. me / fka twings, home with you / avocado_ibuprofen / fiona apple, left alone / anne carson, “the anthropology of water”, plainwater / kiki smith, free fall / alejandra pizarnik, diaries
72. It is easier, of course, to find dignity in one’s solitude. Loneliness is solitude with a problem. Can blue solve the problem, or can it at least keep me company within it?—No, not exactly. It cannot love me that way; it has no arms. But some- times I do feel its presence to be a sort of wink—Here you are again, it says, and so am I.