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#aloneness
feral-ballad · 2 days
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Ama Codjoe, from Bluest Nude: Poems; “Aubade”
[Text ID: “I love how softly / he touches me, though all I want / is to be left, to spend a morning in bed / alone with the images of dream.”]
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forlornalbatross · 4 months
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Loneliness looms not of aloneness but of a once loved up ship forced to depart the shore -
D C de Oliveira December 01 2023 | Friday 6.53am From Forlornly, Exiled
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Although there may have been many versions of me,
Most of them were lonely.
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funeral · 7 months
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Once again there was deep silence and that peace which comes when all things are alone. This aloneness is not aching, fearsome loneliness. It is the aloneness of being; it is uncorrupted, rich, complete. That tamarind tree has no existence other than being itself. So is the aloneness. One is alone, like the fire, like the flower, but one is not aware of its purity and of its immensity. One can truly communicate only when there is aloneness. Being alone is not the outcome of denial, of self-enclosure. Aloneness is the purgation of all motives, of all pursuits of desire, of all ends Aloneness is not an end product of the mind. You cannot wish to be alone. Such a wish is merely an escape from the pain of not being able to commune.
Jiddu Krishnamurti, Commentaries on Living: First Series
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philosophybits · 8 months
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I thought I would try to teach him and see if I could really get anywhere near to making him a sage... I began explaining and kept at him for three days, and after that he was able to put the world outside himself. When he had put the world outside himself, I kept at him for seven days more, and after that he was able to put things outside himself. When he had put things outside himself, I kept at him for nine days more, and after that he was able to put life outside himself. After he had put life outside himself, he was able to achieve the brightness of dawn, and when he had achieved the brightness of dawn, he could see his own aloneness. After he had managed to see his own aloneness, he could do away with past and present, and after he had done away with past and present, he was able to enter where there is no life and no death.
Zhuangzi, The Complete Works of Zhuangzi, Watson tr. (Ch 6)
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symphonyinc · 4 months
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Letters to a Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke
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Don't you ever think I need you, I put my peace and mental health above everything.
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draconicvenus · 4 months
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To truly uncover the power of the planets in your 12th house, you must know aloneness. Their secrets are best revealed away from the prying eyes of others. Who are you without witnesses?
We live in a world where people fear aloneness. If you fear aloneness, then you fear your Self.
Spend time in your own company and meditate upon the nature of your 12th's planets. Grab a journal and free write what comes to mind. Cast no judgements! Existing without judgment is 1 of the gifts of being alone.
Take time to treat yourself to the knowledge of Self. In a noisy, crowded, watchful world, it is a rare and treasured jewel.
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quotationsworld · 2 years
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Alone. A truth I have felt since always.
— Melissa Broder, from “Last Sext,” Pen America
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aspiritualwarriors · 1 year
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In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone.
— Rollo May
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eyeoftheheart · 3 months
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“Along the way to mastery, you walk the way alone.”
― Master Shi Heng Yi
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forlornalbatross · 9 months
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"You are not alone - if you are, that's because you either needed to be alone to face the reason why that part of you feels alone or maybe you're subconsciously want to be alone in the first place -- aloneness does not just appear without being summon just like everything else (intentionally or unintentionally) - when you call it, it will come - it can be your friend or the unpleasant company (once & again & always will be your choice to be a friend to it or also be the unpleasant company in return_)" - .
D C de Oliveira | from Hēsychazō, Selective Circumstances | June 21 2023 | Wednesday, 12.17pm
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I fear for the ships
That sail my ocean-sized heart.
Heaviness sinks deep.
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exvangelicalrage · 9 months
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I took a couple weeks off from writing about christianity, and in that time, I decided to also take a break from therapy.
I've been going to the same therapist for the last two years, and I learned a lot from her. She helped me understand the true impact of religious trauma, introduced me to IFS and some other techniques that have helped me manage the maelstrom of feelings inside, and told me I was neurodivergent, which I'd always wished to be but thought the term didn't apply because I didn't have autism or adhd. 
But something about my therapist has been bothering me more and more lately, and that's this: she's an exvangelical, but still christian. 
When I started going to her, she told me that she had begun doing therapy focused on people with religious trauma, and then went to divinity school to help them more, which I fully appreciate and respect. She said she wanted to help heal the damage the church has wrought. But she remained christian throughout it all, and is even now a pastor. 
It didn't bother me at first. She was the first person I'd found who specialized in religious trauma, she was located in my state, she was clearly very smart, and she was obviously not trying to convert me back. 
But I realized recently that I've been holding back. I'm afraid to fully criticize christianty in front of her. 
In one session, I told her I flip off churches when I drive by—and christian billboards and yard signs and flags. And she flinched. Just a little. I noticed and said, "It helps cool the rage," and then moved on.
But I've never forgotten that flinch.
And now, every time I want to criticize christianity, I feel like I have to add the caveat, "Not all christians, though." But the truth is, I'm not sure I agree with the "not all christians" bit. Maybe I do a little—I recognize that there are nuances and gradation to christians, just like in every other group. But if I don't feel fully safe shitting on the ideology in front of her, how much more can I get out of my sessions with her?
The thing is, the closer I examine my rage, the more I realize it's not a simmering pot of boiling water; it's a raging inferno. 
A raging inferno I can't tell my therapist about.
christianity stole so much from me. Not just my childhood. Not just experiences and opportunities. Not just my self esteem and personal agency, which I've had to fight and claw to get back. But it took my peace. It took my calm. It ripped away my ability to have a normal, healthy life. It left me alone, isolated, and stranded, when it promised to do the opposite. It left me rejected and hated, when it promised to love me. 
I can't even have a simple conversation with my parents without knowing in the back of my head that they think I'm going to hell. 
They say they love me, and they do in a limited way. But that unconditional love they promised? It's not there. It can't be. 
It's not just rage swirling inside me. It's sadness. And grief. And deep, abiding pain. 
And for the most part, I suffer that pain alone. 
Aloneness isn't scary; in fact, overall I'd say it's a pretty safe place for me to be in. I'm an introvert. I've always sought it. And I'm not alone in every way. I'm married. I have atheist/non-christian friends. I still talk to my family.
But in this pain, I am alone.
christianity promised fulfillment, and instead, it left emptiness. It promised peace, and it left fury. It promised hope, and it left an empty chasm.
I guess I'm a little sad today.
But luckily, quitting christianity is a lot like quitting booze. It leaves you feeling sad, empty, and alone, a lot at first and less as time passes—but on the other side, there's a whole new world of beauty to fill up the hole with. Art, exercise, animals, people, life. And in the end, it's a million times better than the beforetimes.
But just for today, I'm gonna let myself be a little bit sad.
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Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your own presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement.
– Alice Koller
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deepseaidyll · 11 months
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i wish you all the aloneness you hunger for. that big kitchen table where you sit laughing with friends. i see it happening.
— franz wright
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